#also imagine her just being proud of him for vibing on his own range :3

[witchezandwonderz]

Ashes of Us

Pairing: Sihtric x Reader

Request: "I trusted you, but now I know: loyalty is a coin, and you spent yours without a second thought." (Pre-established relationship)

I was thinking possibly after his supposed betrayal in season 3. Where reader has no idea of the prompt and is caught up in the harsh words of their fight, she asks Sihtric not to leave - and is treated harshly by Uhtred’s other men when he does. Angst, hurt/comfort vibes when he returns??

Word Count: 4.3k

Tagged list: (If you want to be added or removed, please let me know.) @leftoverp1zza @somebody6468 @cheesesandwichsanto @diorpar @tessakate @miksmom-blog @whitedarkmoonflower @imagines-halfpai

The night hung painfully heavy over the camp, thick with the scent of damp earth and firewood. You took a deep breath as you scanned your surrounding areas through squinted eyes- for no particular reason at all. You simply just needed a moment alone to think about anything and everything. All around you, were groups of people speaking. Though, you could not quite make out what each group said, nor did you care.

You were exhausted. You owed your life to Uhtred, for he was the man who helped you when you needed it the most- he saved you, took you in and cared for you. He also introduced you to your soon to be husband, Sihtric. But regardless, you were exhausted. An ongoing subject that seemed to haunt all of you, as a unit, was pressing at your lives- as much as you tried to pretend that it wasn't happening, it absolutely was. This subject had one, simple name. Skade.

Skade was a poison, tarnishing your lives in front of your very eyes. Draining the life from you one by one, all while she held a proud grin firmly on her face, showing great pleasure from the torture and torment.

The negative and grave consequences of Skade's dark witch craft meant that a lot had happened in the past few months, and although Uhtred expressed his hatred for her constantly, his obsession became quite an obvious desire. You broached it with him one evening, when you had ensured that no one else was around to hear. He denied it, shrugged and rambled on about her curse upon him- which you, of course, understood. But the little part of your brain that did not, convinced you that he had grown extremely fond of the light haired woman. If you can even call her that.

You all despised her, and all held your own separate promises to kill her. There was, however, one particular person who seemed to hate Skade just a smidge more than all others. That person being Sihtric.

When Skade and her dark cloud of energy entered your lives, you and Sihtric had spoken about how you would never let it come between you. Sihtric had said that he knew of women such as her kind before, and that they would need to work quickly in order to rid her before she got a hold on Uhtred. Despite his accurate prediction, Skade was more powerful than they thought possible, and before they knew it, everything around them began to fall apart.

Sihtric had always been gentle and loving, with his sweet words and kind gestures. Yet, recently, he had been extremely distant and cold towards you. He had been off with everyone- but you took extreme offence for obvious reasons- why would he be off with you? All you have ever done is stand by him- you were supposed to be in this together.

You should speak to him, you knew that. Yet, here you were, sat on a log, searching your surroundings and pondering how the hell you ended up here. In this odd position.

A thick Irish accent in the form of your name rang throughout the surrounding area, you immediately rolled your eyes and let out a deep breath before extending your body out, raising your head to the sky as you did so.

"Someone fucking help me." You groaned, just wanting to be left alone for a little while longer- even if that time spent alone consisted of an existential crisis.

Finan chuckled in amusement as he approached closer, he held his hands up in defence, "hey, don't shoot the messenger." He paused apprehensively, "Uhtred wants us-"

"wants us to meet him in the hall." You finished, in a mimicking, shockingly awful Irish accent. Finan nodded.

"Finan, I do not know how much longer I can take this." You breathed, now showing severity, as opposed to your previous jests. Finan shrugged, "I agree with ya, but we serve Uhtred, so get up."

His words were blunt and simple, yet they were true. Finan had a way of making things seem simple, even if they were not.

He realised that you were not planning to leave the log, so leant down and grabbed your arm, in turn pulling you to your feet with force. You pushed him away and smoothed your clothes down with the palms of your hands.

Once entering the room, it was apparent that the conversation you were about to endure was going to be anything but light hearted; the tension seeped through the walls, objects, flooring, and most importantly- people. The room was at least warm however, and lit up from the many candles which were lit.

Sihtric stood next to Uhtred, yet he did not face him. He instead stood over a table, his body leant down and one hand gripping a stone corner firmly- almost as if he planned on launching it across the room, and the other held a large tankard. You tried your best to gain his eye contact, yet strangely, and uncharacteristically- he tried his best to avoid it completely. You scrunched your face up and made a mental note to pull him up on it later, in private.

"Y/N, where were you? I had to send Finan to find you." Uhtred's voiced echoed throughout the empty room. You huffed slightly, and slumped yourself on a near by chair.

"I was taking a moment to myself, lord, won't happen again." You replied, in a much more relaxed and sarcastic voice than you had intended. Uhtred's eyes widened slightly, but he did not address it any further. "You deserve to drink with us after your hard work recently, not sit on your own in the cold." His tone relaxed, and he held out a tankard full of ale for you to take. You gave Uhtred a small smile, before reaching out and accepting the drink. You sipped from the cup, and then nodded your head forward as a way of saying thank you.

"Recently?" A voice called out- an angry voice. Sihtric. All of those who sat near to the scene looked over at his sudden word. "Her hard work, recently? She has done nothing but serve you since she met you." His words carried anger, yet they were surprisingly calm and quiet considering. You could not believe or understand what he had said- although not completely offensive, you knew his words carried a slight malice that you could not shake. Additionally, he had barely looked at you in days, and now he is defending you for something that did not necessarily need defending.

You, again, searched for his eye contact. Yet, again, he did not oblige. You did not speak- interested as to how this would play out.

Uhtred scoffed, "I know this, Sihtric, what are you talking about?" He shook his head. Sihtric did not respond. Instead, he locked his jaw and looked down. Uhtred continued speaking, of plans, Skade and all thinks alike. You were half listening, and half thinking of all other things. You felt as though you had heard Uhtred say the same things over and over again. Nonetheless, you understood the reasoning behind the repeated points. You could not rest until you killed the witch- or more importantly, until you killed the curse. All of you.

In fact, you were so distracted by your thoughts that you had not realised the heated conversation that had ignited between Uhtred and Sihtric. That was until Sihtric leapt from his seat and towards Uhtred while shouting "I have fought for you!"

You watched in sheer confusion and disbelief as the scene unfolded in front of you, also watching as Finan tried to calm and reason with them both. It meant nothing though, it seemed that Sihtric had already made his mind up- without speaking to you.

Though, oddly, when Uhtred gave Sihtric the option of leaving or saying, he did not really respond. He instead slumped himself onto a table top, sipping ale and sulking like a child.

Naively, this gave you the impression that he would not leave, and was in fact being over dramatic. Much to your dismay- you were wrong.

That night, you sat apprehensively within your furs- wanting so desperately to go to sleep, but you could not let your head even brush a pillow without knowing exactly where Sihtric was. You waited for a long time, and very nearly shot up to put your shoes on and go on a hunt for him. You did not though, because the door swung open, and Sihtric shuffled inside.

He looked at you, for the first time in days. You could have sworn his breath hitched, and he looked sad.

You rushed towards him- not only desperate for sleep, but desperate for his love and attention. He attempted to busy himself, which did not stop you from latching your arms around his waist. He stopped what he was doing, and put his arms over your shoulders, embracing you in a surprisingly warm hold. He kissed the top of your head before you felt him hesitate.

"I am leaving" He stated, his voice sad. You took a moment to process what he had said to you. Part of you wanted to ignore his words- pretend that he had never uttered them, and instead bury yourself into his chest further.

He pushed you forwards slightly, creating a gap between you. This was the first time that he had ever separated himself from you, and you knew it may sound ridiculous, but even that broke your heart.

"I am leaving." He repeated, this time his voice was laced with something colder.

"You cannot leave?" Your voice left your mouth as barely a whisper- not your intention at all, but you could not even attempt to hide the wave of sadness that came over you. Sihtric blinked, allowing his eyes to stay closed for just a moment too long.

"I have to." He stated. You scrunched your face up.

"We are to marry? We are to do so many things!" You responded, this time your voice definitely much louder than a whisper- your sadness had now evaporated, and had turned into anger.

Sihtric sighed, running a hand through his hair as he forced his gaze from fixating on you. You did not give him a chance to reply before you continued, "you were the one who said that we could get through this together, " you raised your index finger, and pointed it towards him, "you said that you would always protect me, and never allow me to come to harm yet here you are, leaving me to fight alone." Your voice now cracked as tears formed in your eyes, you tried your absolute hardest to not allow a single drop to fall- but unfortunately failed miserably.

His eyes finally found yours, softening as he focused on your tear stained face. "I cannot stay here any longer, this curse is going to kill me if I allow it."

You could not bring yourself to do anything but blink at him, the feeling of anger and betrayal soared through your entire being. You let out a laugh in disbelief. "Instead you will allow it to kill me." You retorted, placing both hands on your hips as you held your gaze on his. He let out a breath, and glared at you. He opened his mouth to speak, but you were so fearful of his response that you interrupted him, "you do not even wish that I come with you?"

Your voice was significantly quieter now, as opposed to only a moment before. Sihtric took a deep breath once again, this time looking up at the ceiling, desperately trying to gather his thoughts. After a few seconds, his head dropped back down.

"It is not safe for you to come with me." You felt your heart break into two at his words- you knew this was an excuse, for it was a ridiculous thing to say. This entire situation was utterly ridiculous.

"I love you, I adore you, I protect you, I cry with you, I laugh with you, I make love with you, I trusted you, but now I know: loyalty is a coin, and you spent yours without a second thought." Your chest rose up and down rapidly at your lack of breath within your words- fearful that you will never see him again, you said any word that came to your head.

A tear fell down Sihtric's cheek, and he shook his head, almost as though he was trying to convince himself to stop showing emotion. You, however, were not afraid of showing emotion. You cried, hysterically- allowing the fibres of every emotion to seep out of you. You wanted nothing more than for him to comfort you, hold you, or even speak to you. Yet, all he did was stand and watch you with tears falling down his face.

And with that, he began to walk towards the door. You sprang up, not caring about how loud you were being, nor caring about any embarrassment or judgement that came with it. You tried to grab onto him, crying out different words to try and make him stay, but he just closed his eyes tightly, gritted his teeth and walked out of the door, leaving you vulnerable and hopelessly sat on the ice cold floor.

The next few days were the hardest you had ever endured- and you truly had been through a lot. Nothing you had been through, however, began to compare to the heartbreak that you felt. You attempted to paint a brave mask onto your face, but failed. You were not an entertainer nor a story teller who could pretend to smile- you were a shield maiden, brave, yet vulnerable in the face of love.

The boys were acting strangely- shooting harsh expressions her way and making random, uncalled for comments. You truly felt as though the world that you knew had vanished into thin air, and it had been replaced by a completely different realm- one of which you had no happiness, and no friends. You felt ridiculous for referring to this as random, though- this is what Skade did. This is what she was good at. You were now cursed, and you needed to accept that.

You kept your distance from the boys. For some reason, you did not want them to know about the depressive pit that you had fallen into. But avoiding them would only work for so long.

You paused your lone training, allowing your steel sword to clank onto the dried dirt beneath you. You stood up straight and took a deep breath in through your nose, and then exhaled through your mouth to try and control your breathing. Using your right hand, you harshly rubbed the sweat from your forehead. You leant down to reclaim your sword, and as you did you heard a voice call your name. Uhtred's voice. The last person you wanted to see in this moment. You mumbled a quick curse before spinning your body around to face him. Finan was with him.

"I have barely heard from you since Sihtric betrayed us." He stated blankly, his eyes locked into yours, making you feel as though you were trapped. Your eyes flickered to Finan, who surprisingly looked at you with a soft expression.

You tried your upmost hardest to show a lack of care, "I have had things to think about."

Uhtred tilted his head and gave a slight nod at your words, "this is understandable. You have had long enough, gather what you need, we are going."

You furrowed your brows, "going where?"

Uhtred rolled his eyes, for some reason annoyed at your justifiable question.

"Do not worry where you are going- you need to prove to me that you are loyal, and that you are not going to also escape to go with Sihtric."

You scoffed at his words, "escape? So what, am I your prisoner now?"

Uhtred shook his head, you continued, extending both arms to the sides in a defensive position.

"I could have left with him, if I wanted too." Lie. "But I did not, I chose to stay here because I serve you!" Another lie.

Finan looked as though he wanted to speak, but he did not. He, instead, looked at Uhtred expectantly.

"Just get what you need and meet us back here."

You adhered to his command, yet you feared that you may have mimicked a child when you did so- stomping away like an infant who had been told to go to bed early, your sword trailing a path in the dirt as you carelessly dragged it across the ground, behind you.

"Pick your sword up!" Uhtred shouted behind you. You quietly mimicked him, before doing as he said.

You quickly popped back into your room, grabbing things that you may need for the journey- you did not know where you were going, but you did know Uhtred and from this, could assume that you would be going on a long journey, to confront someone. And you just prayed to the gods that it had nothing to do with Skade, yet deep down you knew it would.

As predicted, you were on your way to confront Brida, Cnut, Bloodhair, Hæsten, Dagfinn, and Skade- all idiots that you believed deserved to meet their miserable fates. You were sick of them, and could not wait until the day that you could watch the life drain from their eyes- especially Skade.

"Now that Sihtric is gone, and I have less to live for- I want to be the one to kill Skade." You announced. All heads snapped towards you, as they had been the first words that you had uttered the entire time that you had been travelling.

Finan and Osferth shot each other an odd look, but you shook it off, assuming that they just thought you were being ridiculous.

"Is that so?" Uhtred asked, his body still facing forwards as his horse trotted along the dusty path.

"Absolutely." You solidified, commanding your horse to go faster so that you could be directly next to Uhtred. You did not like that he was smiling, laughing even.

"If you see me as such a useless warrior, why bother with me?" You said, through gritted teeth.

Uhtred swivelled his head slightly to look at you, "stop being so hasty, there is something that you need to see when we get there."

You hummed in response, and of course considered asking many questions about his meaning- yet you decided not too. You knew better than to do that, because you knew that Uhtred would not tell you anything more. In fact, he probably only said it as a way to stop you from speaking further.

By the time you reached the forest, it was now nightfall. Uhtred raised a hand to signal that everyone needed to come to a halt. You stopped your horse, but squinted your eyes as you tried to decipher who the figure within the trees was- clearly it was someone who was there to meet you all, but you wanted to know who.

The figure began to walk closer towards you, and as they did, Uhtred engulfed them into a hug. You sped up your walking so that you were closer to them, and when they pulled apart, your heart nearly leapt from your chest. It was Sihtric.

Sihtric immediately looked at you.

You did not speak, as your brain was too busy piecing things together- one thing that you were not was stupid, in fact, you were extremely intellectual- so it infuriated you that you had not figured out what was going on sooner.

"I wanted to tell ya, but then it wouldn't have been believable." Finan said, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. You scanned the area, realising that him and Osferth had known the entire time, in turn, infuriating you further.

To your surprise, Sihtric did not speak, and instead knelt before you, bowing his head. He then looked up at you, "I am sorry my love, I had to do this."

You could not produce words, so you did what you knew best.

You raised your fist, and without a second thought, punched him with a clean right hook. Sihtrics head fell to the side, and he had to use his entire strength to stop himself from losing his pride completely by falling over. The men that surrounded reacted in hushed tones, for they had to be quiet- they were still in enemy territory.

Sihtric sniffed, spat the blood from his mouth to the floor, and then looked up at you again, still kneeling.

"I deserved that, I know." He stated, massaging the side of his face. You did not respond, so he continued. "I love you deeply, but we do not have time to talk about this now-" he then went on to explain where everyone was and what the plan would be. He said that Bloodhair was dead, and only Haesten remains at the camp.

"Tell Skade that I am near, and take her to the trees by the boats- we will meet you there." Uhtred commanded, Sihtric nodded curtly in response, and then looked at you once again. You stood glaring at him, yet all you wanted to do was jump into his arms.

He gently kissed your head, before retreating back into the trees.

"Y/N, I-" Uhtred began to speak, but you held your hand up to silence him, "lets just get this done, shall we?"

Uhtred gladly accepted, before giving his next orders.

You all waited by the tree- yet you waited slightly further up, so that you could hear nearby conversations. Shortly after arriving there, Sihtric arrived with Skade.

"Where is she?" Sihtric asked in a hushed tone, yet his voice showed panic. Uhtred used his hand to point and show that you were crouching next to an opening in the bushes further up.

You could not hear much, but suddenly heard Haesten shouting obscenities as he got closer. You leapt up from your position and ran towards them.

"He knows, he is coming, we need to go, now!" You commanded as you ran into the water. Everyone followed you as you dragged a boat further towards the shore. Uhtred put Skade into the boat, before climbing in himself. You were about to climb in, when you felt two hands on your bottom. Sihtric picked you up with ease, and placed you back into the boat, before skilfully jumping in and letting the anchor go.

You perched on the head of the boat, looking up at the stars, wondering what had happened within the last hour. You felt someone sit beside you, and it did not take many guesses to figure out who.

"I cannot believe that you treated me that way, regardless of whether it was real or not. You watched me cry and beg, you literally watched my heart get ripped from my chest, and did not care?"

Sihtric shook his head, "of course I cared, I ripped your heart out and in turn ripped out my own." He replied, putting an arm around you. You wanted to take his arm off, but you were so grateful that he was there, you allowed him to engulf you. "I cried the entire journey, I did not want to do it, but I had too- I was commanded too, you know better than anyone that I had to do this." His words sounded like more of a plea than he had anticipated.

"Please forgive me, I do not know what I would do if you did not." He spoke yet again, his words becoming quieter and quieter as they progressed.

You did not speak, and instead turned your body slightly and looked up at him- his face was still stained with blood. You laughed slightly at your own actions, "you deserved that punch."

Sihtrics face softened, a grin creeping onto his lips, "I know that."

You stared at each other for a moment, neither of you knowing what to say next.

"I cannot forgive you so easily, Sihtric." You said, your voice not carrying the emotion that he had hoped for. His face dropped, and he felt scared.

You continued, "Yet, I love you so much that I will have to find a way."

He let out a deep breath, a relieving deep breath.

You leant forward, gently planting a lingering kiss on his lips, his breath hitched as your lips pressed softly to his. The taste of copper lingered faintly from the blood on his split lip, yet you didn’t pull away. Instead, you let the warmth of his mouth coax you closer. His hand found your waist, fingers trembling slightly as they pressed into you, hesitant yet desperate.

At first, the kiss was delicate, your lips moved slowly against his, exploring the familiar sensation. His hand rose from your waist to your face, his fingertips brushing your cheek with reverence. You sighed into him, and that breath seemed to break something loose inside him.

The kiss deepened, turning hungry, urgent. His arm circled tightly around your waist, pulling you flush against him. Your fingers wove into his hair, tangling in the dark strands, tugging slightly as his mouth claimed yours with growing intensity. His other hand pressed against the small of your back, anchoring you firmly to him.

"Erm? Excuse me? There are other people in this tiny boat you know?" Finan's thick accent tore you both from your captivity, and you realised where you were. You turned to him, slightly breathless and used your index finger to point at them, "you all have a lot of making up to do, I do not forgive such coldness this easily."

They all hummed, while Skade stared into your soul- you ignored her.

Sihtric had not taken his eyes off of you once, and did not acknowledge the others' presence. Instead, he used his hand to turn your face into his attentions once again.

"You will not regret this." He promised, his breath warm against your skin. His eyes locked onto yours, fierce with determination and love.

"Don't," you warned gently, though your fingers still held him close.

"Never," he swore, and you believed him- for now, that was enough.

[aceofspadegrass]

Hi //I feel bad for suddenly dropping in(n not sure if I could request again) but this whole week has been pretty rough for me so if you have anymore Mira n Kuzuryuu soul sibling hcs I'll like to hear them//TY in advanced<3

It's fine if you drop in, don't worry! Sorry you're week hasn't been smooth as a baby's butter supply. Anyways, time to ramble on about your favourite executive masterminds.

- Okay listen, Mira is very fond of having fun in very silly but ultimately harmless ways. So what I was thinking was sometimes when watching everyone else gets too tiring she just whisks Kuzuryuu off for a few hours so they can play whatever game she had set up even more prior.

Sometimes it's just a game of chess but using pastries instead of the normal pieces, where every captured piece is simply eaten.

Sometimes it's a game of badminton while listening to a recording of that badminton Rhythm Heaven game song track. Over, and over, and over.

Sometimes it's just a game of croquet.

Either way, it's harmless fun and they're just allowed to relax and hang out. Kuzuryuu absolutely cannot seem to back out of it, because as siblings do, when you're dragged to do something there's no way to get out of it.

- Using the idea of giving the executives working phones that do things outside of just showing cards and instructions, Mira sends a new picture of a random animal she saved onto the phone to Kuzuryuu. Kuzuryuu, being the nice person he is, always responds back, but it's that kind of monotone 'wooooo' energy. Very rarely does Mira get an animal picture back, but she gives it all her enthusiasm when she gets it.

- Unannounced pillow fights. Mira just shows up in his room, smiling and wielding an especially fat case of pillowy goodness.

Now Kuzuryuu has to defend for his life, because Mira does not back down. He only wins when Mira had enough of bapping him silly with a soft rectangle, otherwise she wins. They even have a scoreboard of it. :D

- When they get that old Wii working (listen I wholeheartedly believe they somehow acquire an old Wii from the depths of somewhere) they just play games with each other for hours. Again, more harmless bonding. Plus, they're a lot more reasonable (at least Kuzuryuu is) so there is a slightly less chance the room isn't destroyed after a bitter loss.

- Oh, and if one gets sick the other one brings them soup and a get well card. Specifically a handmade get well card. (And because I find it funny Mira puts the card nice and tenderly on Kuzuryuu's head so it just sits there.)

[baekhvuns]

Someone talked about the cock and balls fansite a few months ago, but I can't find anything, I guess it was for fun or something??? 😭 oh yeah China ones are riiiiich and definitely work with the companies

They did what? Took their undies? Noooooo. Yeah it's fucked up. Exactly, they said "we can't be racist because we like kpop" sit your ass down you racist clown

I think both of our friends are on a different planet now dudhsjdhdisndhsjdh

Bestie I just want any ticket at this point. I'll definitely not go for the most expensive one, because I'm saving money ☠

Sadly nothing is predictable and I know how it feels to have your concert cancelled last minute so. </3 at this point kpop stans are so starved for concerts they don't know how to behave, it's disgusting. Ehhh apparently there were many wild and shitty Atinys there...

I think a lot of people are still confused about his release date, and nothing is 100% confirmed, but I know that account! If he's not back soon then a lot of people will be shocked and disappointed

I love this lil comedy, Hwa would be so stressed but Y/N would be just confused and if he starts avoiding her too, lmao. Then it finally clicks and Y/N's brain goes blank because THAT NICE QUIET GUY IS DOING SLUTTY THINGS AT NIGHT?!

A paper ripped by him - spoken like a true Shinestar

I hope more people start talking about Seonghwa's abilities, not just his looks (I know he likes getting called pretty or handsome) and being a mum/nerd/boomer, because he deserves it 100%! I'm also proud of him for singing live a lot, to think he barely had lines on the first album and couldn't even sing them properly at first... now he has so many lines 😭🤧💗

Oh my friend officially said "I'm a baby Shitstar" we got her!!!

JUST SAW THE SG?!??! Choose your partner...A whole ass AU, they want people to be delulu so bad. Seonghwa THE CATCH? He's gonna catch these hands for sure, tf why is he a fuckboy.... KQ you can't be doing this to me. The range

Or imagine Ateez in Hell's Kitchen lol

My thoughts on lovers to enemies to... lovers I hope? Or how about friends to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers 😉

Lmao that Matz thing, so true. What about Hwa from nerd to a fuck boy huh

THE JP CB VIBE IS ELEGANT WHORE!

Cool kid Woo that's a fuck boy please

Seonghwa bite me next time heh...🤡

Oh god that piece of shit interviewer, I knew he was sus, but this is even worse. Tho their faces were ICONIC. Waiting for tea on that Chanlix documentary they did...

Oooooo okay, as for websites it depends where you're located, it would be good to order locally if possible. I don't recommend KQ shop though. Your friend needs A LOT of bubble wrap and waterproof seal mailing bags, unless someone orders more copies then a little box will do. As for cards or freebies, it's up to them, but it's a nice gesture. They can print out their "business" cards with a little thank you card. Are they doing members cards sorting?

"Lady you were screaming at the top of your lung" what is this quiz akhdhskshsjeje - DV 💖

hi hello!!

Someone talked about the cock and balls fansite a few months ago, but I can't find anything, I guess it was for fun or something??? 😭 oh yeah China ones are riiiiich and definitely work with the companies

this is so funny pls 😭😭😭 the strangest names a fansite could have and they cHOSE COCK AND BALLS legendary 😭😭😭 yOO china ones are so rich they be their own companies itself 🤚🏼 that sehun bar can literally buy a whole brand he endorses 🤚🏼

They did what? Took their undies? Noooooo. Yeah it's fucked up. Exactly, they said "we can't be racist because we like kpop" sit your ass down you racist clown

YEAAH 😭😭😭 KYUNGSOOS UNDERWEAR AND TRIED SELLING IT FBWKFBWK

alleged EXO sasaeng fan attempts to sell D.O's underwear “we can’t be racist bc we like kpop” and ONLY follow it if their token asians/kpop groups are present 🔫🔫

I think both of our friends are on a different planet now dudhsjdhdisndhsjdh //// Bestie I just want any ticket at this point. I'll definitely not go for the most expensive one, because I'm saving money ☠

100% IM LOVING THIS CONVERSION OF UR FRIEND DBNSDBDJ not the most expensive but def the best seat in the arena! tbh even the last section has the best views 😭😭

Sadly nothing is predictable and I know how it feels to have your concert cancelled last minute so. </3 at this point kpop stans are so starved for concerts they don't know how to behave, it's disgusting. Ehhh apparently there were many wild and shitty Atinys there...

“at this point kpop stans are so starved for concerts they don't know how to behave, it's disgusting” THISSSS !!!! its almost like they didn’t know how to behave even before but with the two year break its just gone so bad ???? bro like basic manners 😭😭??? like if ur mom saw u doing that then what??? i know a slap slap coming ur way???

from this convo, the only fun thing we can get is san recording ateez running on the airport fhwjdhsj sometimes being an idol sounds so fun, ur with ppl u live laugh and perform and live ur dreams with and then u randomly be running on the airport laughing trying to catch ur flight or no money rbkqdjsk

I think a lot of people are still confused about his release date, and nothing is 100% confirmed, but I know that account! If he's not back soon then a lot of people will be shocked and disappointed

I JUST NEED THAT MAN BACK I LISTENED TO HOLY WATER ON REPEAT TODAY AND I WAS KNEELING THE VOCAL AND PRODUCTION VALUE ��🏼🤌🏼✨ atp why cant sm release a statement this is too much, theyre so busy naming smstore kwangya but can’t release a statement on their money makers enlistment date

I love this lil comedy, Hwa would be so stressed but Y/N would be just confused and if he starts avoiding her too, lmao. Then it finally clicks and Y/N's brain goes blank because THAT NICE QUIET GUY IS DOING SLUTTY THINGS AT NIGHT?!

IM REALLY INTO THIS ACTUALLY <33 STOP THIS GUY WOULD BE SHITTING BRICKS AT EVERY ENCOUNTER WITH YN HE’D START TO GASLIT HER SAYING U NEVER SAW ME FBWK omg it be clicking in y/n’s brain the night before the exam and she’s just sitting their connecting the dots <3 what do u think y/n’s prize would be if yn passes the exam <3 omf if YN starts laughing “wAIT you? you do that?”

“what?”

“no no, its just hard to imagine”

“it wont be if i show you right now”

“oh”

A paper ripped by him - spoken like a true Shinestar

AMEN

I hope more people start talking about Seonghwa's abilities, not just his looks (I know he likes getting called pretty or handsome) and being a mum/nerd/boomer, because he deserves it 100%! I'm also proud of him for singing live a lot, to think he barely had lines on the first album and couldn't even sing them properly at first... now he has so many lines 😭🤧💗

right!!! hopefully they don’t make the boomer thing his entire personality, yeah it’s one thing to joke about but then at the same time taking it so seriously fbwkdjwk 🔫🔫 U ARE SO RIGHT WHEN I USED TO LISTEN EARLY DAYS ID BE LIKE “huh everyone y’all’s ahout yeosang’s like but what about that blond guy” i did not actually even know sh’s name whdkwhdkq and now that he’s everywhere FUCK IT UP !!! HIS VOCALS ARE SO PRETTY TO HEAR <3 and his rapping too! it rly is the hunger to perform that attracts so many fans

Oh my friend officially said "I'm a baby Shitstar" we got her!!!

LESSSSGOOOOO

JUST SAW THE SG?!??! Choose your partner...A whole ass AU, they want people to be delulu so bad. Seonghwa THE CATCH? He's gonna catch these hands for sure, tf why is he a fuckboy.... KQ you can't be doing this to me. The range ///// Or imagine Ateez in Hell's Kitchen lol

CHOSE YOUR PARTNER AU PLS ITS CO CUTE BUT SO FUNNY FBFBF its literally a hallmark movie set im so in love <3 SEONGHWA AS THE CATCH HE IS ATEEZMAKEMEWEEP’S FBOYBWA 😩😩😩 WOOYOUNG AS THE BAD BOY GETFO FHWKFFBEMFBEK

ateez in hells kitchen oh my god and it just be yunho getting yelled at for making raw food and wooyoung laughing only to get called an idiot sandwich 😭😭

My thoughts on lovers to enemies to... lovers I hope? Or how about friends to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers 😉

hOW ABOUT FRIENDS TO LOVERS TO ENEMIES TO never reaching lovers

Lmao that Matz thing, so true. What about Hwa from nerd to a fuck boy huh /// THE JP CB VIBE IS ELEGANT WHORE!

this is literally the trope of the fic we made,,, nerd during day fuck boy during night fmwbdkw IT REALLY IS GOD THEY LOOK SO EXPENSIVE I NEED SOMEONE TO EDIT HIM IN SOME BRAND bc this???? needs to be in some commercial

Cool kid Woo that's a fuck boy please

i have an au prepped for it <3

Seonghwa bite me next time heh...🤡 Oh god that piece of shit interviewer, I knew he was sus, but this is even worse. Tho their faces were ICONIC. Waiting for tea on that Chanlix documentary they did...

LMFAOOOO IN LINE ANON IN LINE 🔫🔫 AND WOOYOUNG KNEW TOO U COULD SEE IT ON HIS FACE 😭😭 oHO MAN IM WAITING ON THAT ONE TOO and now u get that anchor would have been nicer if a bigger group was there u just know too

Oooooo okay, as for websites it depends where you're located, it would be good to order locally if possible. I don't recommend KQ shop though. Your friend needs A LOT of bubble wrap and waterproof seal mailing bags, unless someone orders more copies then a little box will do. As for cards or freebies, it's up to them, but it's a nice gesture. They can print out their "business" cards with a little thank you card. Are they doing members cards sorting?

“im about to start stanning your anon for this info, god bless ur would dv anon what a queen” YEAH ABSOLUTELY NOT KQ SHOP THATS WAYY TOO EXPENSIVE,, yes she is! and most of them want seonghwa pc’s too fbwkfjwk but since they’re doing that package thing maybe it’ll be easier!

"Lady you were screaming at the top of your lung" what is this quiz akhdhskshsjeje - DV 💖

TO MAKE UP FOR THAT SHITTY QUIZ 🔫 im actually screaming at the options on this quiz fbwnfhsj

????? 😭😭

and uh, quick question, would u like ceo hwa to have silver or black hair

HELLO

AND TELL ME WHAT DO DO????? TODAY???? FUCK????

hwa baby girl era

[ressyfaerie]

Fic request; (sorry if this isn't a personal headcanon of yours) Kai comes out as nonbinary & the team are largely accepting. Tyson takes longer than the rest to understand and pesters Kai with all his questions & general Tyson-ness. Doesn't have to be shippy but would be a nice bonus!

Oh I love this! I’ve read about someone's headcanon being Kai as nonbinary! As someone who also struggles with their gender identity this will be fun to write! I’m excited! But I understand this can be a sensitive topic for some people, so I’ll throw it into a readmore. It’s not my personal headcanon but writing this will be interesting and fun! I’m adding some Ressyfaerie flare so I apologize if it’s not exactly what you imagined! <3

The team had noticed Kai’s subtle attempts to experiment lately.

Wearing clothes that weren’t his normal style, the most surprising was the almost crop top Tyson immediately pointed out. Ray noticed the extra makeup he occasionally wore under his blue shark fins. His dark coloured clothes would occasionally be more pastel. He went to a school across town, so they didn’t see him most of the day; regardless they still noticed a change in his attitude. With each passing day, he became more comfortable with himself.

Today started off as any ordinary training day in the dojo. The team showed up after school and huddled waiting for Tyson who generally showed up late. Kenny opened his laptop in the corner, Hilary showed up with snacks attempting to bribe the team into showing her new blading techniques. Max and Ray stayed close, talking strategy or gossiping about what happened at school. Today Max wore a frilly green skirt overtop of white leggings.

“Hey! I was wondering where that went!” Hilary gasped when she saw it.

“Sorry Hil!” Max shrugged with a smirk.

“When I said you could borrow my clothes I didn’t mean keep them in your closet for a rainy day!”

“Hehe, sorry. I’ll buy my own, I’ll give your stuff back.” She glared at Max, “promise…”

They heard the door open. As good teammates they had all memorized the way their friends did everyday things, opening doors, walking, you name it.

“Here comes grouch of the year.” Max groaned.

“He’s been a lot better lately, give him a break…” Ray patted Max’s shoulder.

The door to the dojo slid open, Kenny looked up from his computer for a moment, “hey Kai!”

“Hey Kenny.”

Kai gave him a look that might have been a smile… or a judging glare… Who could tell at this point.

“Oh! Kenny smiled while pointing at Kai’s hand, “pretty colours!”

“Kai, I love them!” Max bounced over and grasped one of his hands inspecting the nailpolish. “Did you do them yourself?”

“Y—yeah… thanks.” Kai gulped.

Ray looked at them over Max’s shoulder. “Blue and red, good choice, any special occasion?”

“No. I just like doing them sometimes. It… makes me feel good.”

“Hey that happens to me too!” Max’s eyes shimmered.

“I haven’t worn nailpolish in public yet…” Kai looked to the ceiling and looked back down to the group. “I know it’s not normal.”

Ray chuckled, “it’s normal Kai.”

“What is normal anyways?” Max let go of his hand.

“You make a good point.” Kai nodded his head in response while looking at his hand.

The door to the house flung open, they could hear someone kick their shoes off and groan.

Tyson…

They all knew it was Tyson, but Kai worried about him. He was painfully aware that Tyson would have something to say about his new look, even though Tyson enjoyed doing much the same things, he always had to point it out!

The door to the dojo was thrown open, Tyson burst through, “hey guys!” Tyson grew a huge smile while looking at his friends. Then he looked at Kai and his mouth grew into a gasp.

Kai rolled his eyes.

“Look at you, Kai! Someone has been working way too hard to be a pretty boy lately!”

Kai sighed, and Max knit his eyebrows.

Max whispered in Ray’s direction, “I think I get it...”

After a while they drifted into their work. Kenny and Tyson analyzed something on his computer. Hilary badgered Tyson to show her a new move. Kai fiddled with Dranzer in the corner, Max nudged Ray, and they made their way to Kai.

The two of them sat in front of Kai, the hardwood creaked under them. Kai knew they wanted something, but remembered he was trying to be… nicer lately.

“What’s up?” Kai lowered the tiny screwdriver he was working with.

Max smiled at him.

“What is it?” Kai asked again, this time with a bit more attitude.

“You know you can tell us anything right, Kai?” Ray was pressuring him.

“Ray!” Max swatted his shoulder gently.

“Look, I’ve been uh…” Max folded their hands together fiddling with individual fingers. “For lack of better words, gender hopping for a while now. So I guess… What I’m trying to say is… I get what you're laying down.”

Kai blinked a few times, surprised Max picked it up so fast. He wasn’t sure if he was ready… but he knew his friends, he could trust them.

“I uh.” Kai started, then laughed a bit, “wow.” He fiddled with the small screwdriver on the floor, “you just… right on the money, Max.”

Max dropped his hand on Kai’s thigh. Kai wasn’t huge on touching yet, but Max wanted to give him some form of comfort.

“I’ve been thinking for… quite some time.” Kai started, he rubbed the back of his neck before continuing. “About my um… gender identity.”

The room grew quieter. Both Kai, Max, and Ray were aware the rest of the room picked up on the serious vibe and were listening in.

Max went to say something, but Kai continued.

“I know it’s more than what I want to wear, or makeup or nailpolish. Anyone can do that stuff... It’s more than that. That’s why I’ve been thinking so much.”

Max put both hands on Kai’s leg. Kai grinned.

“I think… I might be non-binary—” the room was quiet, “I’m not one-hundred percent sure but—”

Max cut him off, “it’s fine Kai.” Their face practically glowed from how proud Max was of Kai. “You don’t need to give us a list of reasons, we trust you.”

“Thanks.” Kai let a grin slip out.

“Wait, Kai, you’re gay!?” Kenny gasped.

“No...” Kai now worried that it was too soon.

“Kenny! Non-bnary is a gender thing not a sexuality thing!” Max educated his friend as best as possible in the short timeframe.

“Ooohhh , sorry.” Kenny blushed. “I’m not quite… on the gender train yet, but I’m trying.”

Kai gave Kenny a soft expression, “Thanks, Kenny. I appreciate it.”

Tyson turned around, Kai’s heart fell in his chest, “wait… So you’re not a boy, Kai?”

“What are your pronouns!” Max squealed over Tyson’s remark.

“Um.” Kai hadn’t really thought much about it, “like, anything really. He or them? I know you like them Max but I guess…”

“You don’t mind if we call you a boy?”

Kai shrugged, “I don’t feel like… dysphoric about it. Just that you guys know how I feel when you think about me… I think… that’s all I want.”

The room grew quiet for a moment. Max didn’t want to press the situation, but everyone had more questions.

“Do you experience a lot of gender dysphoria?” Max felt the sweat form in their palms, and relieved some of the pressure from Kai’s leg.

“Sometimes.” When Kai admitted it, he felt his shoulders become light. “But I think it really lines up with my trauma. That’s why… I’m still unsure. But I wanted you guys to know.”

“Thanks for telling us.” Ray patted his shoulder.

“I’m glad I did.”

Kai’s words rang through the dojo.

It was Tyson who got up first.

“Anyone want anything to drink? I’m going to go get a soda. Kai, you want anything?”

Kai was unsure what to think, he stared at Tyson, lost for an answer to a basic question.

“It’s not complicated. I’m not asking you to pick a gender or anything, just what to drink.” Tyson’s words seemed almost... angry.

Max ripped their hands away from Kai and spat towards Kai’s rival, “Tyson!”

“Whatever. I’ll get water I guess.” Tyson threw his hands in the air and left through the door outside.

“What is his fucking problem?” Max grimaced.

“He was never this upset when you came out.” Ray side eyed Max.

Ray and Max pushed themselves off the floor ready to go confront him. Kai got up, placing his arm in front of them.

“No, I think I should talk to him.”

Are you sure, Kai?” Ray wore a worried look.

“Yeah. It’s about time we talked.” Kai made his way to the door, opening it and sliding it shut behind him gently.

Outside the sun had just set. The backyard was veiled in twilight. The other side of the wooden deck across the gravel Tyson shut a door behind him, carrying a can and a bottle of water. Kai hopped off the dojo’s floorboards and felt the gravel crunch under his feet. He made his way to Tyson.

Tyson saw him, and sat on the edge. Letting his feet dangle while he looked over the yard as Kai approached him.

“What’s up?” Tyson raised his eyebrows and smiled sarcastically, then went back to a neutral expression.

“Are you okay?” Kai looked him up and down trying to find out what the problem was.

Tyson handed him the bottle of water with a friendly gesture. Kai took it, and unscrewed the cap, he chugged it.

Tyson opened the can, the only noise other than bugs and the slight splashing of fish in the pond.

“You know…” Tyson took a sip, “I like makeup, dresses, and nailpolish as much as the next guy. But I’m not like you guys.”

“That’s okay.” Kai sat beside him a few feet away. He leaned against one of the wooden beams, “we never said you had to be.”

Tyson scoffed slightly, “I get Max, I do. But you’re such a manly guy. Why?”

“It’s hard to explain if you haven’t felt it yourself but… It’s not just about wearing more… feminine things. There’s a mental aspect to it. And besides…”

Kai used his water bottle to gently bash it against Tyson’s leg, “I’m not that manly.”

“I’ve seen you in a suit…” Tyson shook his head while grinning.

Kai took a breath, “why does this upset you so much? You never had a problem when Max announced his gender reveal—”

“A thousand times.” Tyson finished his sentence.

They both laughed.

A few insects jumped off the pond and reflected the setting sun in their fluttering wings.

“Why does this upset you so much?”

“First of all, I’m not upset. You can do anything you need to do, Kai.”

“If you’re not upset, then what are you?”

Tyson gave him his full attention, the eye contact made Kai’s hair stand on end.

Tyson wasn’t answering, so Kai continued, “I’m still the same person I’ve always been. Nothing has changed, but now I can be more comfortable, and true to who I am.”

“I know that, and I’m proud of you.” Tyson shook the can in circles with one hand.

Kai was starting to lose patience now, “so what the hell is up?!”

“Nothing.” Tyson avoided the question while staring into the distance.

“There’s got to be something if you’re acting like this—so what the hell?”

“It’s fine, Kai. Let’s just forget about it—”

“No.”

Kai was stern, making sure to stay true to his emotional truth.

“Excuse me?” Tyson layed down the can with a loud thud.

Kai threw the water bottle beside him, still holding on to it, his whole body stood still in a white anger.

“You’ve been picking on everything I’ve been doing lately, pointing out every change, in my personality or appearance. You’ve been hypersensitive to me changing, now you have to tell me why!”

Kai’s intense words made Tyson raise his voice louder.

“Because! It’s so annoying! I was so confident in my sexuality but now—if you’re not a boy then I guess that doesn’t make me fully gay like I thought and now I have more soul searching to do! And that pisses me off!”

They challenged each other for a moment, until… Tyson noticed what he said, he could feel his face going red, and he drank out of the can while turning away trying to hide his expression.

Kai wasn’t sure if he heard him right, but what else could he have meant?

“Tyson…”

“Shut up.”

Kai let go of the bottle, it fell and rolled away from them, ignoring it he pulled himself closer to Tyson.

Tyson leaned away, his body felt like it was on fire out of embarrassment, he just wanted to turn and run.

“You don’t have to put yourself in a box. Just live. Figure it out as you go. That’s what I’m doing.”

Kai’s voice was—as always, honey to Tyson’s ears. Tyson shivered, unsure what to do or say.

“It’s alright, Tyson.” Kai wore no expression, but Tyson knew everything he wanted to express.

Tyson stared down at his blue and red nails, smiling at the colour choice.

“I’m proud of you for telling us about your gender Kai… and I’ll support you anyway I can.”

“Thanks, Tyson. That means everything to me.”

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Kdrama recs Part 1

Hullo and welcome to the kdrama life @camsthisky​! The following list is not in any particular order, other than the fact that I start with a more rom/com vibe and head toward more romantic/action or action. All the following kdramas are set in the modern day, and part 2 of my recs for you will be either darker kdramas set in present day or historical dramas.

Let the list begin!

1. Strong Woman Do Bong Soon: 

Do Bong Soon is a v smol woman who has super strength and who wants 1. To create her own video game 2. Get her police officer crush to return her affections. Which like, police officer is kinda cute but he ain’t that special. Bong Soon winds up becoming a bodyguard to Ahn Min Hyuk, the extremely rich, kinda spoiled, ridiculously extra CEO of a gaming company who does not like the police for secret reasons, and sadly does not have a good relationship with his family. (He a lonely boy underneath everything.) Min Hyuk finds out about Bong Soon’s powers, is in TOTAL awe of her, offers to train her in fighting, and literally falls head over heels for her.

The caveat with this show is there is a subplot or two that annoy me, BUT I just use the 10 second skip button and it is totally worth it because the romance is super cute—SUPER CUTE (also I have a list of favorite actors and Park Hyung Sik is def on it—one minute he is an adorkable, blushing bby the next he can be intense and sad)

He cute

2. Her Private Life: 

Hello fake-dating!! Ryan Gold (an adoptee who didn’t live in Korea for a while) is a former artist who stopped painting because he couldn’t deal with his Stendhol (?) syndrome (among other traumas). Deok Mi is the classy art curator of a famous museum who definitely does not have any secrets she wants to keep from the world—well, other than the fact that she is the number one fangirl of kpop idol, Cha Shi-an (who also appreciates art) and has a major crush on him. Ryan becomes director of the art museum and there is a whole thing with getting Shi-an involved in an art show.

Following this and a series of unfortunate events a false rumor starts that Deok Mi and and Shi-an ARE dating. It’s a little complicated to summarize, but basically what you need to know is that Ryan and Deok Mi become a fake couple so there won’t be a scandal for Shi-an or violence done to Deok Mi by rabid fangirls. I enjoy the fake-dating trope a lot, and how it becomes real for both of them! The leads are played by Kim Jae Wook and Park Min Young, who both have incredible range. Lots of soft moments in this one! Good kisses, a scene where the faves bake together, and also Ryan wears a lot of deep v-neck shirts and jackets which is an attack on me personally.

The show also contains a bit of angst, which I LOVE. Hand-holding becomes an important theme 😊

RYAN NO

3. Crash Landing on You: Rich South Korean heiress/fashion designer Se-ri accidentally winds up in a North Korean village, and really REALLY wants to go home. Mostly because there are no scented candles or spa-like bathtubs in the vicinity, but also because she could easily disappear into a NK jail and never return. A North Korean captain named Ri Jeong Hyeok finds her and decides not to turn her because, one, he’s a good guy who doesn’t want to turn an innocent person over to what might be her death, and two, turning her over might get his four underlings in trouble for reasons. Said underlings are his family, basically, and they are a deLIGHT. One is an argumentative proud sort who likes to drink and to feel important and who tries to provoke (and gets provoked by) Se-ri at every opportunity, one is a lover of banned South Korean dramas, one is a 17 year old bby who misses his mom, and one is the silent but most loyal follower of the captain. 

Besides all these people, there are two other characters (including a surprisingly wise conman) who become faves and major players in the plot.

There is a great mix of humor, romance, found family, and angst, and I love it very much. A few things don’t go the way I want them to near the end, but a bit of imagination and fanfic can fix anything 

ALSO I FORGOT THE CAPTAIN GETS SUPER SULKY FROM TIME TO TIME AND IT IS HILARIOUS

Show of hands, who thinks they will meet again

4. Are You Human Too: A FAVORITE SHOW OF ALL! TIME!

What do you do when your husband dies and your evil mega-rich father-in-law takes your son away from you and keeps you from seeing him ever? Well, if you are scientist with more genius than positive coping methods, you build yourself a robot son who looks exactly like your real son. Great solution, am I right?

Nam Shin III is the name of my favorite robot son, played by the inestimable Seo Kang Joon. He is the purest bby you will ever meet, being designed so that he never lies and so that he will immediately go to hug anyone who cries. He seems quite a contrast to the bitter human Nam Shin, who hates his gilded prison life, hates his Grandpa, and tries to sneak away from his right hand man, Secretary Ji Young Hoon, his only friend in the world. The girl in the show is Kang So Bong, an ex-UFC fighter who was so badly injured she had to quit. She is at first a bit jaded and mercenary because of her past, but she has a golden heart that just needs to be reminded of its existence.

Not going into details to avoid spoilers, but everything upends when the robot Nam Shin has to take the place of the human Nam Shin. The show is a soft, funny, angsty exploration of what it means to be human, with some good found family throughout. The character development is phenomenal, and the connection between So Bong and Nam Shin III is *chef’s kiss*. I just want to give a shout out to Seo Kang Joon who plays a duel role like you wouldn’t believe, to SKJ’s smile, to the soundtrack, and to the character of Young Hoon, a loyal, steady, and self-sacrificing secretary that we do not deserve  (gosh tho he looks good in blue!)

Look at my robot son getting a long-looked for affirmation! (his lil smile!!!

5. W: Two Worlds: 

This show unique because it  meta as HELL! Oh Yeon Joo is a junior doctor and the daughter of a webtoon artist whose big hit, W, is coming to a close. Much to her surprise, she gets pulled into the world of the comic where she encounters and saves the main character, Kang Chul, a former Olympic shooting champion who was blamed for the murder of his entire family, and whose sole desire is to find the real killer. It’s a good romance between them, and I also love Kang Chul’s relationship with his hyung, which, tho it is not always a main focus, is present and wonderful. Kang Chul himself is both intelligent and adorably bratty, charismatic and angsty, soft and fierce, and he is one of my favorite kdrama characters for sure.

As for the meta, the show does a fantastic job exploring the rules of the comic world, of how one can enter and leave, the importance and power of main characters and supporting characters, and the purpose of an author. There is always another twist coming, and it is just so much fun!

UM SIR PLS POINT THAT ELSEWHERE

6. Healer: 

I watched half this show and never realized that the female lead is played by Park Min Young, same actress as in Her Private Life. Someone had to tell me lol! She’s just so good at playing different people. In this show, she is Chae Young Shin, a reporter for a celebrity tabloid who has big dreams of becoming a famous reporter who investigates stories that actually mean something. She is a bit quirky, very cute, very brave, and probably one of my favorite female leads. She lives with her dad above his coffee/teashop bakery and is friends with all the ex-cons he has defended while doing his other job of lawyering.

Anyway this show is more of a romantic/action drama. To get an idea of the titular Healer, picture what you would get if you took some of Batman and Nightwing’s aesthetics (wearing black, hanging out on rooftops, punching people, flipping around, etc) and put them into a night courier who likes to watch National Geographic and dream about one day going off to an island where he can live all by himself for the rest of his days because oh yeah he is a loner whose only friend is an older woman who sets up his jobs and whom he has never actually met.

There is also an older reporter that Young Shin looks up to, the fun tabloid office where she works, a heck lot of mystery surrounding some tragedy involving a group of reporter best friends/found family back in the 80’s/90’s, and of course both members of the OTP have childhood trauma that has made them who they are today. One of my favorite things that happens in the show is that Healer has to go undercover for a while, Clark Kenting it up in Young Shin’s tabloid office, which overnight becomes a real news agency for reasons.

The action is LOTS of fun, and the romance is really soft and cute, and better still, when there is a misunderstanding or something that gets in their way, they almost immediately talk about it and resolve issues. They TRUST each other and give the benefit of the doubt where many tv couples would break up or get in big fights. I find it (plus the character development) very refreshing.

I couldn’t find a gif of my favorite fight sadly. This will have to do

7. Lawless Lawyer: This has Lee Joon Gi. Watch it.

Just kidding, there are many other reasons to watch the show, but it is true that Lee Joon Gi is one of my favorite actors. The man has phoenix eyes, a jawline that could cut silk, diamonds, you name it, and such a deep well of emotional acting that it literally kills me when his characters rage/weep/love/etc.

Anyway, in this legal thriller/romance/action drama, LJG’s character Bong Sang Pil is a beautiful, very extra ex-gangster/now lawyer who opens his own office, ready to fight villainy and avenge his mom with the law or with his fists, whichever is more useful at the time. He has a right hand man named Manager Tae and recruits a bunch of thugs as his minions, and they all become a weird sort of family as the show goes on.

Ha Jae Yi is a quiet badass lawyer who has no time for sexist idiots and gets her license suspended for smacking one of said fools. She gets recruited to assist Sang Pil, and they find their goals align as both their mothers were destroyed by the villains.

Speaking of the villains? EXCELLENT acting by them all, like they need to go down obviously, but you can’t help but be in awe of a few of them or even get attached to one or two in a weird way. Props to the show for having one of the best female villains I have ever seen

What an icon

Here you get two gifs of him

Sorry I needed to make it a magical three lol

~~

Tune in next time for historical dramas and modern dramas that are a bit darker!

[ruoyeming]

My Top Ten Anime, a chaotic list

This was so hecking difficult, I’m gonna have to do some ‘honourable mentions’ for ones I can’t bring myself to leave out. This list is based entirely on my personal feelings, not an objective assessment of what are logically the best anime. There also may be mild spoilers at points because I can’t control myself. Doing this in quarantine cause I looove ranting about things I like.

10) Attack On Titan

This was the first anime I ever watched, and it blew my mind a bit tbh. The music is iconic, and the animation is great as well. It might have been a bit harrowing for my first experience with anime, but I absolutely loved the story. It’s set in a world where titans (man eating giants) have driven the dregs of humanity to live within giant stone walls. There’s a group of humans trying to research titans, kill them, and protect humanity, and the main character decides to join them after a titan breaks through one of the walls and his mother is eaten. It’s one of those where you think you know everything and suddenly the world gets turned upside down by a new discovery. All the puzzle pieces start fitting together the longer you watch, and you find out that everything going on is much bigger than what it originally seemed (government conspiracy time lads). The plot twists are unpredictable (for me at least) and devastating, and the emotion this series evokes is awesome - you can FEEL the sheer desperation of the characters, their rage and despair as they fight again and again against a seemingly unending enemy. Despite almost every battle being a suicide mission and despite too many losses, the characters keep going out of the human need to survive and protect. 

10/10 for brutality and gore, but also theme of hope.

9) Naruto

A founding father of anime. Surprisingly not one of the first I watched, in fact it took me a few years to start. It’s set in a feudal Japan where ninjas are the defenders and servers of the people, and different villages have different ninja styles. Naruto is a young boy with a dangerous spirit sealed inside him which has caused him to be shunned by society (even though it’s not his fault??), and he wants to become a ninja. First off I’m a sucker for the Naruto archetype: dumbass, cocky, obnoxious, but kind and loyal too. Years of solitude and ostracisation as a child mean that Naruto desperately wants people to acknowledge him, and he intends to become the Hokage to prove himself. There’s a huge range of characters and villains, all with cool ninjutsus and different philosophies. Friendship, power, and determination are some of the main themes and it makes me so proud to see my son *COUGH* Naruto progressing and learning from his mistakes. It IS a long boi though and I haven’t even finished Shippuden yet, but I think Naruto captures the essence of shounen anime and is a great underdog story. Manga is lit too. 

10/10 for cool battles and great characters.

8) Psycho Pass

One of the earlier anime I watched, and it became an instant favourite for the way it makes you question morality. It’s set in a kinda dystopian future Japan, where a technology called the Sibyl System checks people’s mental state and determines their ‘crime coefficient’ - how likely they are to commit a crime. The main character is a young woman who joins the police and begins to realise that blindly following this system is perhaps not the best way to go about things. For example, they have special guns that automatically kill people whose crime coefficients are over a certain level, but she soon proves that you can easily lower someone’s coefficient by talking them down and negotiating instead of killing them off immediately. It’s got great drama, great government conspiracy, compelling villains, and some really badass characters. It pushes the question of what is right or wrong, and how far technology should go when it comes to justice. 

10/10 for sociological debate and horror elements.

7) One Punch Man

OPM is an anime that stands out for me, partially for mocking the tropes of battle anime, and partially for the uniqueness of the main character’s predicament. It’s set in Japan where heroes and villains exist, and the protagonist is a man called Saitama who gained superstrength after doing 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and a 10K run every day. However he’s become so strong that he can defeat every enemy with a single punch. Nothing is a challenge for him anymore so he becomes depressed and unfulfilled; he’s still a good man who helps people, but he feels he’s missing something from his life. A cyborg called Genos makes Saitama his master, determined to learn his ways and they become friends. It’s one of the first anime that made me laugh out loud; it’s funny and entertaining, but also shows us that power is not equal to happiness. 

10/10 for moral lessons and good jokes.

6) Tanaka-kun is Always Listless

The only slice of life anime on this list and not very well known, however it has a special place in my heart. The main character Tanaka is a boy who dozes off constantly and acts exhausted when awake; he loves expending as little energy as possible. His best friend Ohta looks out for him and essentially makes sure he doesn’t get lost/ be late/die on a daily basis, including carrying him when he just falls asleep sometimes. Although Tanaka seems uncaring, it’s shown that friendship isn’t a bother to him, and he realises that he actually relies on his friends despite saying he likes being left in peace. His friends all have great personalities, my personal faves are a tough gangster girl who’s rude to everyone EXCEPT her adorable loli girlfriend, and a popular girl who’s trying too hard to fit in and starts to become more herself after befriending Tanaka. All the characters share one brain cell, and it’s genuinely a funny anime - I’ve burst out laughing watching it a few times. Also Tanaka and Ohta are extremely shippable if you want to go down that route; it’s said several times in the series that they’re like an old married couple. 

10/10 for wholesomeness and comedy.

5) Ouran High School Host Club

Another lighthearted show, probably the anime that’s made me laugh the most out of any. It’s set at an academy for rich-as-heck kids, and there’s a ‘Host Club’ where all the girls go to drink tea with a group of handsome boys. There’s the cunning Kyouka, prankster identical twins Hikaru and Kaoru, stoic Mori, adorable Honey, and princely but obnoxious Tamaki. Haruhi, a working-class scholarship student who is mistaken for a boy, accidentally breaks a precious vase and is forced by the host club to join them to pay off her debt. The group of boys realise fairly quickly that haruhi is a girl, but she becomes a popular host amongst the girls (LOVE the secret lesbian vibes) so they keep up the charade. I think I have a weakness for groups that share one brain cell because aside from Kyouka, they’re all idiots. I also love how flexible the show is with ideas of gender and sexuality despite being a slightly older anime. The daily antics of the host club combined with their personalities is a recipe for comedy, and they’re all lovable in their own ways. 

10/10 for characters, drama, and comedy; it’s well-paced too.

4) Bungou Stray Dogs

Set in an alternate modern Japan where some people have secret abilities that can be activated, this anime became an obsession when I first watched it. The cast of characters is amazing and the villains are awesome too. Atsushi is an orphan who discovers he can turn into a powerful tiger, and is hired by the Armed Detective Agency, a small organisation of powerful individuals who fight crime. NEED I SAY ANY MORE?? Many of the main characters share names with famous Japanese authors such as Osamu Dazai and Ryūnosuke Akutagawa which is really cool and something that might add to the story more if I had an understanding of Japanese literature. Anyways the main character Atsushi is kind of a wimp at first (understandably because the world of ability-users is actually terrifying), but he learns to stand up for himself and use his ability to save people. The show’s mixing of dark and comedic tones is perfect to me; one moment a character is off his head on mushrooms and the next Atsushi’s leg is brutally sliced off in a back alley fight (it regenerates later no worries). The plot is really cool and full of intrigue, and eventually you get the whole ‘Usually we’re sworn enemies but we’re forced to become allies in the face of a greater evil’ thing and it’s great! Turns out our main guy and our main bad guy are actually a pretty powerful and efficient team, hoho?? 

10/10 for supernatural detectives being super cool.

3) Yuri!!! on Ice

Y’all already know what’s going on. Ice skating, emotional breakthroughs, gay shit, HIT ME WITH IT. The story follows Yuri Katsuki, an insecure figure skater trying to regain his confidence, and his self-appointed coach Viktor Nikiforov. Viktor is enthusiastic in helping Yuri train, and Yuri has been a big fan of Viktor since his childhood *throws pillow across the room*. Yuri becomes determined to, quote, “surpass Viktor’s wildest imagination”, and they end up agreeing - through a series of convoluted events - to get married if Yuri wins gold at the olympics (I think it’s the olympics??). Either fuckin way this series has angst, humour, cuteness, and god DAMN did I get invested. When Yuri was doing his free skate my own heart was beating harder than it did when I finished a 10K. Love the vibes and also it’s the closest to full healthy gay representation that I’ve seen in anime for a while. Not much more I can say, but do I really need to say more???

10/10 for GAY and MY HEART

2) Kimetsu No Yaiba (Demon Slayer)

Ok this one’s kind of a cheat cause I’ve read the manga as well which is way ahead of the anime, but FUCC. It takes place in the Taisho Era in Japan (begins 1912), where Demons exist who eat people. Tanjiro Kamado’s family is killed by a demon one night and his sister Nezuko is turned into a demon - but it is soon discovered she’s different to other demons, and can restrain herself. Tanjiro joins the Demon Slayer Corps to try and track down a cure for his sister, while proving that demons are not inherently evil. I LOVE Tanjiro as a main character because he values kindness over everything else, not forgiving demons for their sins but recognising they are tormented creatures, trying to give them peace before they die. All demons were once human - a fact that only Tanjiro seems to remember when fighting them. He’s patient, gentle, and determined - hotheaded and brash sometimes, but he has this vibe that just makes people become his friend/respect him even if they don’t intend to. He befriends two other slayers - Inosuke, an absolutely feral Best Boy who was raised by wild boars, and Zenitsu, a cowardly but ultimately loyal guy. This trio works really well together and Tanjiro is a great protagonist. Don’t even get me STARTED on the music and animation. Impeccable. Kamado Tanjiro No Uta makes me cry every time I hear it, and the water/fire effects used to show the metaphorical way the swords move like the elements takes my breath away.

10/10 for morals, music and animation.

1) Mob Psycho 100

Where the fuck do I start here. This anime is so unique in its style, story, and characters that I think it will always be my favourite. It follows Shigeo Kageyama (nicknamed Mob cause that’s what they call extras and background characters in Japan), a plain boy with incredible psychic powers that explode when his emotions are too high. Over time he’s learned to suppress his emotions, causing him to become socially inept and emotionally withdrawn. His (fake) psychic ‘master’, Reigen, uses him to make money exorcising spirits, making Mob believe that it’s for ‘training’. Mob appears naive at times, but he is so simply kind to people that it makes my heart hurt. Unlike many of the egomaniac psychics that Mob comes across, he recognises that without powers, he is just an ordinary boy. Mob’s greatest power isn’t his OP psychic abilities, but his power to show people they can change, that he can change. He forgives (and eventually befriends) people who have tried to kill him. Redemption and empathy are big themes here and they’re done really well.

The other characters are so well rounded and are also given time to grow, including Reigen - at first he’s a seemingly manipulative sleazebag, but later you see that he is a genuinely good man who has taught Mob many lessons and helped him grow up. This is a core message - Mob’s ability to change is due to support from his friends, not purely his own desire - people need other people!

This is also one of the true rarities in anime where the second season is absolutely just as good (if not better!) than the first one. The music is unique to the show, the ops for both seasons get me litty, the animation is incredible, the jokes are great and although it’s not all about big-ass fights, when we do get a big-ass fight it’s so fucking cool. The fight sequences are beautifully animated and visually stunning. MP100 makes me laugh, cry like an actual baby, and want to become a better person. Idk I could literally write pages on it like the big nerd I am but that’s all I’ll do for now.

10/10 for literally everything.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

Given : about a boy who joins a band which helps him work through his trauma. Lovely healthy gay representation and themes of healing.

Samurai Champloo : ragtag trio consisting of two samurai - one lowkey feral and does breakdancing, the other lofty and withdrawn - and a bold young girl. Themes of friendship and journeys. I simp for the lofty samurai.

Cowboy Bebop: jazzy music, bounty hunters in space, 90s anime WHAT MORE COULD U WANT. Yet another group of characters that share a single brain cell. Love it.

[magaprima]

THREES.

 ❥ TAGGED BY: @wildpawed​  ❥ TAGGING:  @killthebxy @lloronala @dr-jillian @ozwolff @youhavemyrespect @jennyorjanna @byersmom

MUSE: Lilith. First woman. First witch. Queen of Hell. Temporary High School Principal. 

3 strengths

Intelligence. Lilith has a strong emotional intelligence in that she’s able to recognise thought and feeling processes in the large majority of people. While everyone else, Satan included, were all about forcing and threatening Sabrina to sign the book, Lilith was the one who recognised Sabrina would never sign the book to save herself, but she’d do it to save others, and so manipulates events accordingly. She’s constantly manipulating at every turn, that is literally her whole jam, and she does it well; she’s never discovered, she’s never challenged, she gets everything done subtly and successfully, and she has been doing this well for thousands of years. She has a great track record (and yet still isn’t appreciated). The only reason she is discovered is her temper (weakness listed below) gets the better of her and so leads Sabrina right to her. She also general intelligence as she is able to make up stories and false histories on the spot, she teaches an actual history class, and apparently does it well, for several months, like she legitimately taught, and she has a never ending knowledge on all things magical. Everything she’s ever asked about she has an answer for, she is a constant pool of information. There’s a reason Sabrina keeps going back to her for answers and help. It’s also the reason Hilda goes to her, because the woman just gives off a constantly knowledgeable, mentorish vibe. 

Extremely powerful. We only see a few displays in the show, due to the primary narrative being about Sabrina’s magic, but what we do see is immense. She was able to use minimal items to make a very powerful scrying spell that covered the entire Spellman house and went undetected by the family,, she was able to put out a Yule Log (something that should have been guarded against outside magic) with relatively little effort, she is unaffected by the Spellman’s defensive spells, and she is able to hold the Dark Lord back by his throat using her own telekinetic gifts. Like literal Satan and she was able to hold him back with one hand. That’s extremely, fucking powerful. But she is, after all, the first witch and she is also a demoness. So, she is, like Sabrina, two things, and, like Sabrina, it seems to only add to her gifts and make her extra powerful. She is not someone an ordinary witch or warlock could hope to defeat alone. 

Her survival instincts. Lilith is thousand of years old and she has gone through several transformations, a long-term abusive relationship, she’s remained close to the Dark Lord without being killed, survived being Banished by the False God and left to wander a wilderness to die, and she is still here, still going strong. Self-preservation is a really big thing for her, and comes before everything. It’s even what she tells Sabrina, to leave her Aunts behind in favour of saving herself; this attitude is what has kept Lilith arrive and until the Part 2 finale she is very uninterested in changing that. She is a woman who knows how to survive, as a lot of long-term abuse victims do, and she does it no matter what. She has suffered majorly several times over, but she has lived through and, in the end, was able to come out on top and finally crown herself as queen, and that was only possible because she had survived everything else.

3 weaknesses

Lucifer. For so many reasons. He’s her weakness because she fell in love with him and a part of her will always love him no matter how much she tries to destroy that, so that make her vulnerable. He’s her weakness because he was her abuser for such a long, long time, millennia in fact, and therefore, for all her strength and confidence, she was always frightened of him, always wary of upsetting him. He’s her weakness because he’s one of the few in existence to be more powerful than her and older than her, therefore there’s a risk there. Due to my headcanon that Lilith got her witchly powers when she defied the False God, as she supposedly did in traditional mythology, rather than signing the Book, he isn’t able to take her powers away entirely, but he would have been capable of binding her, making her powerless, perhaps even has done for periods of time in the past, so he’s her weakness there. He is a rare chink in her very strong armour. 

Her lack of positive emotional experiences. The fact that nearly all of Lilith’s relationships- romantic, platonic, familial- have all been negative ones means she doesn’t have the full breadth of experience needed to make emotionally intelligent decisions and to react to things in an appropriate way. It’s the reason she sees Sabrina as an enemy rather than ally, because her experiences tell her Sabrina would stab her in the back and steal everything from her. It’s why she’s unable to make emotional connections until Part 2, it takes her that long to have those first developments. She doesn’t react normally because of this lack of range in relationships; she flips to extreme, negative reactions rather than waiting things out and weighing everything up. It’s also why, when people reach out to her, she doesn’t know what to do, and is either stunned into silence, or react defensively because she’s uncomfortable with the sincerity. 

Her temper. This is related to the previous points, as more positive experiences might have helped curb her temper, or at least her willingness to indulge it. Instead she gives into it with the fiery hellish passion you’d expect from the destined Queen of Hell. We see it first when her puppet scarecrow is destroyed and she throws the whole thing with an unearthly scream, it’s temper that makes her create the Adam Creature and try to kill Sabrina. Because she is intelligent and patient, her temper isn’t indulged too often, but when it is, it’s self-destructive. She doesn’t think intelligently or react thoughtfully when she gives into that rage. 

3 secrets

She’s not quite the mortal hater she appears to be, generally  speaking. Generally speaking, she doesn’t like mortals, she dismisses them as unworthy, but there’s never outright hate, because that would mean she had to care about them in any regard and she really doesn’t. Generally nothings them. However due to thinking nothing of them she can hate witches or warlocks for preferring the, a Edward did, for example. So, despite people presuming she abhors all mortals, she doesn’t. She can hate mortal men, but she also hates warlock men, so that’s more about gender than species, but as Lilith was originally created as mortal first (which is where a lot of her internal dislike and dismissal as being ‘unworthy’ comes from, due to everything she suffered as a mortal and also as she perceives it as the reason Satan thinks her unworthy) she can’t completely hate them, because some primal, original part of her still ties her to them, despite her denials. And, her recent experiences at Baxter High, have opened her mind a little more to mortals, and their worth, but this softening towards particular ones is a secret even to herself. 

She has maternal instincts, even if she fights and denies them constantly. Lilith was created as an all-mother, the wife, the life-giver etc etc. If she had kept her role as assigned by the False God, she would have filled Eve’s role, which is the archetype of the traditional woman; a wife, a mother, a life-giver, a nuturer. Therefore, Lilith  was created with those properties; she does have a maternal instinct in her, but it is perceived as weakness by almost everyone in her circle, including Lucifer, so she has suppressed it and denied it, except when she uses it to manipulate her own way. However, despite that, it can be prompted by certain people and interactions (as Sabrina prompted it in her in the finale. The way she speaks to her in her bedroom about her being Queen, and still studying the books, and the way she saves her life at the coronation), but when she feels that happen, she tries her utmost best to suppress it once more. But that maternal instinct is there to be triggered. 

She likes Sabrina. She genuinely likes her, even feels proud of her when she does certain things. Sabrina rebels against the order, as Lilith did, she doesn’t accept things from an unseen God, she challenges the rules, questions things, all things Lilith did, and so she can’t help but admire that. She never planned on actually liking her, but spending so much time with her in a supportive, mentor environment opened up the above maternal instincts as well as processes and bonds Lilith hadn’t expected. She has a genuine soft spot for her, hence why she didn’t just return her powers, but Ms Wardwell too. Lilith feels a bond to Sabrina, that they’re cut from the same cloth in away (it’s also why she can be wary of her too)

3 fears

That Lucifer will escape his prison. Lilith has always played her game from the shadows, never showing her cards until the last moment, the moment of certainty, but with challenging the Dark Lord, openly grabbing him, revealing herself as co-conspirator, there’s no way she could merely ‘survive’ if he escaped. He would be furious with Sabrina, but I imagine Lilith’s life would be forfeit. She knows personally how dangerous and powerful he is, so she fears his escape more than anyone. Which is why she will guard Nick relentlessly. 

That she’ll lose her crown/throne. She’s waited so long for it and worked so hard for it and finally it’s hers; she’s Queen of Hell. But she’s aware that Sabrina was the intended Queen and that certain residents of Hell will prefer Lucifer, or be loyal to him beyond his imprisonment, or don’t want to be ruled by a woman etc and will challenge her. She will fight to the last to keep her crown now that she has it, but she’s wary of coups and someone trying to trap and imprison her. She also the irrational fear that Sabrina will change her mind and want the crown after all. 

That the False God might drag her back to his realm and to Adam. This fear was at his greatest in the beginning when it seemed entirely legitimate that he might drag her back, but even after thousands of years she can’t shake that dread at the idea. Adam was a cruel ‘husband’ and treated her as something less than, something to serve, he was cruel and vindictive, dismissive, the list goes on, and he had the support of the False God. In a paradise, Lilith suffered and was unprotected, and even though she has suffered with Lucifer, she still fears being dragged back more, because with Adam she was mortal and powerless; at least in hell she has power. 

3 goals

Her main goal, in fact her primary and essential goal for like eternity, was to become Queen of Hell. However, originally it was to rule beside Lucifer, but then she changes to ‘let’s gut the bastard and I’ll take the crown for myself’, but then she actually got the crown, so goal achieved. So now, her new goal is to keep the crown.  

To see witches back in places of power. The path of night has taken a bad step in the very wrong direction in giving warlocks all the power. Under her rule, Lilith wants to see witches taking centre stage, more high priestesses rather than high priestesses, a Witches’ Council full of women, so she wants to orchestrate all that coming into being. 

To keep Nick safe, as her promise to Sabrina, but, more importantly, to keep Lucifer trapped and therefore unable to wreak bloody revenge on them all. 

[harryseyebrows]

give me your experience in full detail about harry’s show... i need to mentally prepare myself for msg

1. there is nothing that can prepare you for the moment he first comes on stage. its indescribable. we spend so much time on here reblogging pictures and videos and interacting with content about or surrounding harry, that you can sometimes lose touch with the actual human person who its all for and about. but when you see him, its just.... amazing. theres not a strong enough word for it. and to be in a room where everyone is feeling that way? the palpable excitement and joy?? you can feel it in your blood

2. i know this point has been exhausted by anyone and everyone, but he is truly meant to be a performer. we knew this from when he was in 1d but nothing will ever touch him being on his own. you can tell that having the band up there makes him feel more comfortable, and given how much he interacts with them and makes them a part of the show, you know that him doing his ~solo stuff~ is not about trying to hog the spotlight. he’s a self-proclaimed narcissist, but dont be fooled; harry styles is a ham but he’s not selfish or arrogant. he still needs his support group, he still needs to be able to shard a bond with the people he performs with so that he can be confident and comfortable, and try to afford them the same. he works the stage like its the only thing he’ll ever do, giving it 110% with the most genuine adoration for his audience that ive seen from anyone, ever. he doesnt just wave blindly or make grand sweeping gestures. he looks at people, really looks at people, and tries to make a connection with individual people in a room full of thousands. im pretty sure if he had the time to do that with every single person, he would. he’s chatty and loves to joke, talking to people like theyre old friends, and just for a moment, he turns the dynamic between fan and celebrity on its head. he’s hardly ever still, moving and bopping along like he’s in his own little world, but that world also happens to house the audience and everyone else in the room. youre standing there, 1 of thousands of people, and you can feel like youre one-on-one with him. he’s just incredibly personable and good-natured. and then when he’s not being a professional nice young man, he’s exploding with energy and utilizing the entire stage and all of his limbs. ‘born for it’

3. he’s so funny. he’s goofy and charming and not afraid to be weird or awkward, and its just really admirable, to see him up there, clearly having a great time, laughing and smiling. i loved seeing the more ~private~ moments between him and the band, if anything can be considered private when performing. but he’s constantly grinning at them and making faces, sharing silent jokes or saying things in passing that we cant hear. and of course, you never quite know whats gonna come out of his mouth next when he spots someone or something that earns his attention from the audience. he pokes fun at people but he also pokes fun at himself. it’s just nice. comfortable, even, when he talks to people from the crowd. if youre in the back and out of range for what he can see, and he can make you feel like the only two people there, i cant even begin to imagine what it must be like when he has his laser beam focus on you, directly. 

4. his voice is incredible. all of the little runs and ad-libs that he does are great. i remember reading a quote from a while ago, when he was still in 1d, and someone had said that harry has a great ear and that harmonies and other such things come really easy to him. and i always think about that when i hear him sing live, whether in concert or in a video. the tone quality of his voice is so beautiful, even when its being amplified to crazy decibels. you can tell he puts his whole heart and soul into every song he sings, whether its a slow one like mmith or the absolute banger that is kiwi. and its so fun to hear his renditions of old 1d songs -- the arrangements are so good and its so nice to hear those songs with just his voice. sott is still just That Song™ and hearing it live is something that stays with you forever. 

5. THE OUTFIT. when the screen went up, i was so excited to simply see him that i wasnt even thinking about ‘oh what is he wearing’ until about 5 minutes in when i realized that i was no other than harris reed. harry has always marched to the beat of his own drum, and we’ve poked fun at his fashion sense for years, from the toe-revealing brown boots, to the double plaid button downs. and it wasnt really until the white gucci floral suit that, in my opinion, he started to really come out of his fashion shell in a big, loud, in your face way. its been so interesting to watch him experiment over the years with different trends, different styles, different vibes, etc. but now he’s still just as adventurous, if not MORE, but in a really refined and arguably more cohesive way. because while all of his outfits are different and wild, the unpredictability and diversity make up a category all on their own; they common thread among them is that they’re all so unique. and while we might not like every single look or every single suit, no one can deny that he’s going out there and putting his own stamp on the men’s fashion world. look at the number of little boys who adore him and put on printed suits to be like him. what he’s doing matters. and he looks so comfortable and so in his element when he’s on stage, wearing whatever flowy or glitter ensemble thats on the docket for that evening, prancing around and looking like he doesnt have in care in the world that his trousers are flared and he has a giant silky bow around his neck. i love that he appreciates new and adventurous designs, and it really pays tribute to his character that he supports different designers, like harris reed, whos still in school and is getting the recognition he deserves, 100% on his own merit but also because harry helped boost his platform. harry is doing his own thing, doing the whole glitz and glamour performance thing, but none of it feels cheap or over the top. its just right and really reflects his personality and style. go on with ur bad self, harry.

6. the butt. what can i say? its now an element of the show. she’s plump and proud. he worked hard to get her where she is and she deserves to be showed off. like two beautiful melons draped in fabric, whether it be a solid color, black, a print, or glitter. she does it all. and she does it well. AND shes au natural. no fat transfers here. just smooth, firm but also pleasantly supple, muscle and butt meat. surely youve heard of all you can eat buffets, but his butt takes it to a whole new level. that is a multi-course meal and then some. the glass of water you have when you wake up in the morning, parched and in need of something to help your dry mouth; breakfast, something healthy but still delicious... some thick maple and brown sugar oatmeal; lunch, a perfectly toasted grilled cheese with tomato soup; dinner, some top sirloin steak because you need some MEAT, accompanied by potatoes and another less starchy vegetable, perhaps a green bean?; dessert, cake of course. and all the snack in between. delicious. 

[httpetras]

2020 for me - K-pop songs edition

2020 was a... tough year. Personally, globally. But for kpop? It was one of the most successfull years and instead of talking all the achievements and breakthroughs, I wanted to share my thoughts on some songs and artists I liked this year

LONG POST (and bad english sksksks)

- no japanese releases

- title tracks mostly

- personal opinion

Favorite albums of 2020 (one album/artist)

Some thoughts:

TWICE

More & More, I Can’t Stop Me, Cry for me

A lot of people disliked the song and TWICE got many hate from various of fandom to the point where the girls were insecure just by standing on the stage and perform. I never understood the senseless fanwars anyway, but this time I truly didn’t understand why everyone was hating on this song? It was definitely among the best summer releases, the album was perfect for the season and TWICE showed a new side of their artistry. There were many releases this year which followed the generic trend, but More&More managed to stand out and show something new among summer songs.

Their next comeback was just p.e.r.f.e.c.t. Okay, first and foremost, I’m a sucket for retro concepts so 2020 was a bless for me from this perspective sksksk. Besides my bias I’m literally in love with this song.

Also with the whole album, I can’t stop myself from listening it. TWICE as always tried something new, showed a different side of them, was not afraid to discover new sounds and concepts. One of the reasons that I’m still with them after 4 years is the fact that TWICE grew up and matured along with their music. This album was their fifth year destination. I just can’t express how much I love not just the concept, but all the songs are so unique in their own way that you can never get tired of listening them.

TWICE being one of the most unique girl groups out there (along with Red Velvet, hope they comeback soon), and I’m just so happy for them and so proud I could be with them for four years seeing them growing as artists.

A.C.E - Favorite boys

Hands down, this was definitely one of my favorire comebacks of 2020. The way I thought they could never do a song like “undercover” again....I was so naive. From the first second till the last you can’t look away from the aesthetically pleasing MV where traditional mixes with modern, gender is a non-existent, meanwhile the song so effortlessly goes from a very strong rap to high notes wigh catchy beats and chorus.

Also the dance and the outfits, don’t forget to mention the teaser photos... it was one of the strongest comeback of the year.

However, I feel like their releases were among the most underrated songs of 2020. I just can’t help but think what if they were a bigger company especially that nowadays when stan twt is all about numbers, groups from smaller company get less and less attention. All I can hope that A.C.E getting the hype they deserve will be one of the positive changes 2021 will bring.

(A million thank you for TATE for introducing me to them!)

ITZY

Wannabe, Not shy

There are some songs from ITZY I really like but their title tracks were really not my style (they are not bad in any way, but felt too much for my taste). But this year!

Wannabe and Not Shy was just *chef’s kiss*.

I felt the same with them as with skz - in their first year they were looking for their sound, trying to find the best sytle for them. In this second year, they seemed to be more confident in themselves and their concept as a group. (And also, finally these songs fit into Lia’s range!). Every member could shine in these eras, show off their singing (and dancing) skills. All together these two songs (and albums) were something I could enjoy very much.

AKMU - Happening

The nation’s siblings came back and created another masterpiece! If I wasn’t in love with the song itself, the MV would have made it fall for it. Something comforting, something melodic, a song you didn’t know you need until you hear it... Recommend it 1010292725282920/10

STRAY KIDS

Too much releases sksksk all of them are amazing obvi

I can’t choose one song from them, they released something new in every month and I’d have so much to talk about sksksks so a short-summary:

2020 was their year. Eventhough I felt like stray kids could not surprise me anymore, I would have never been able to prepare mysef for this year when they came back with full power. Starting with SKZ2020, followed by anime openings and on track, then the iconic God’s menu and Back door - they evolved and said FU to the industry who still rejects them. And I don’t know how to explain, but they seemed much more confident in themselves and in the music they put out, and that was definitely something which helped them to make 2020 theirs. All the concepts, all the song genres while staying unique and not following trends? Every. Comeback. They. Had. This. Year. Just blown my mind. I literally just... I’d show you the songs they released this year and I’m 100% sure even a non-stay would agree with me saying that they deserve so-so-so much more for their songs alone

ONEWE - End of spring

As lovesick girls gave me 2010’s summer song vibe End of Spring gave me the same vibe, something bands such as imagine dragons would release back in around 2015. I LOVE IT. It has such a nice fun energy, whenever it comes up on my playlist, it’s an instant adrenalin boost. It does remind me of summer camps and just having fun with people there

DAY6

I wrote about them in my 30-day Day6 challenge back in september-october

Lee Hi - HOLO

Lee Hi is one of those idols I feel for the most as she’s been through more than enough hardships in her life. She seriously deserves the best from this cruel world.

This year a company change happened and she released a comforting, yet, heartbreaking song about depression and self-worth most likely reflecting on her own struggles. Tissues recommended because this is a song everyone can relate to in some ways and also be prepared for the MV.

SUNMI - pporappippam

The queen of retro is back with another masterpiece because she’s Sunmi, she can’t make bad songs! I love the vibe of the song, the aesthetic MV with purple as the dominant color... it truly felt like a song from 80’s with an unique sound none can master but Sunmi. Kpop would be not kpop without her!

Also, on a totally unrelated note: even though I’m not a fan of her, just a casual listener, I want to state how fcking proud I am of her. I can’t even imagine how difficult it was for Sunmi to be this open about her borderline-disorder especially as an idol. I truly hope she’s healthy and doing alright, wishing her the best for the future

Chungha - Play

As much as I loved every releases from her in this year, Play was the song which was on repeat. Like, this song is full of energy, has such a fun vibe which makes you want to dance along with it! Also, also, the MV was super colorful, her stylist did a great job and the tango was well incorporated into the choreo, it was creative and entertaining to watch her performances of this song.

And let me add how happy I am for Chungha, this year she released songs always trying out something new and participated in many different projects. I also loved her collaborations! They were super underrated even within the fandom.

Gfriend - Mago

Retro. Disco. 80’s. Love the MV. Love the song! Such a different concept from what we are used to see from them, but again, this year Gfriend was not afraid to deviate from their usual sound and try out new things.

As much as I’m in love with this song (and Apple as well!), just as much I appreciate the visible artistic growth they have shown in this year. Wish them many luck for their future!

BTS

Okay, let me tell you quickly a little story. Before the first lockdown happened, in the beginning of the year in school we had this agreement in french class. If we don’t want to take a french exam, we can sit in the back and studying or doing something silently. This was around the time when Mots7 was released and so, during every french class I listened to this album on repeat while studying chemistry. Then quarantine came, classmates got sick, drama happened, took exams, a lonely summer, then university... the world was burning. For me, this album was the “last” normal thing before pandemic hit europe; whenever I listened to it, it takes me back to me our french classes, my friend sitting next to me doing her make up, me reading my chemistry book, windows are open, you can hear a class having PE class, the teacher explains something for those few students sitting in the first row... seems peaceful? Maybe too nostalgic. But Mots7 became that album for me which was there for us before the world fell, which reminded me of the “normal” life throughout this year, and helped me a lot. And I’ll be forever thankful for that. Dynmite: Retro, english, fun, we need it. Hungarians hated it so much? But hungarian kpop fans are edgy they hate everything popular because they “appreciate talent” *eye roll* Life goes on: This song for me is the new spring day in a way - calming, nostalgic, comforting, something we really needed after this hectic year. A perfect song to end 2020. “Life goes on“ = “This too, shall pass”

Taemin

HAVE YOU SEEN A MAN SO PERFECT?

Okay, but seriously. Taemin owned this year! 3 comebacks with SuperM and 3 comebacks as a solo act, multiply MVs and performances, not letting anyone forget about him nor SHINEE. Whenever I thought that okay, this is his peak, he can’t do better than this - Taemin came back and proved me wrong again. Never Dance Again act 1 and 2 were among the best releases this year

Somi - What you waiting for

As much as I didn’t like birthday, I found myself enjoying this song a lot! Nothing astonishingly new or different, but has a catchy beat and chorus, suits to Somi’s range and she even looked more confident while performing on music shows (naturally, she got more used to being a soloist after a year or so, but still. It was good to see her owning that stage and being happy there). Similar to BP, it also has a western pop feeling especially with the full-english chorus, but somehow worked better for me personally here!

Oneus

Such an underrated group which I got to know through one of my moots on twitter, otherwise I would have never heard of them. And what a mistake it’d be!

Alone the concepts stole my heart, I adored the whole prince, vampires, kinght theme going on in a fantasy world vibes of the MVs. Besides that, I love how they sound together as a group, it’s so pleasing to hear how all those different voices comes after each other and somehow makes it work, resulting in an amazing song.

TXT

This year, when the debut hype is long gone, TXT proved that they are much more than just a boy group next to BTS. Their success is thanks to their hardwork and magical, unique style which made millions of people fall in love with them. (Big3 privilige is still a thing tho, but their hardwork should not be underestimated. Because of their privileged situation, they were offered oppurtunities, had a financial background other artists don’t - but it doesn’t make them less than others. Just shows the faults in the unfair music system).

Despite my worries that after Run Away it’d be hard for them coming back with another song, they managed to release a no-skip mini album with an awesome music video “Can’t you see me”. One moment they are laughing, and in the next one they’re killing eachother while singing about growing up and losing touch with friends once they were inseparable with.

Their journey of growing up with its pros and cons are portrayed through their songs, using mystical themes such as a fatal game and a long forgotten magical promise. They enforced this concept furthermore in this year by their next songs, Drama, Blue Hour and We lost the summer which about the impact of the pandemic on teenagers (side note: such a creative MV! They’re truly part ofour generation sksksk).

And I haven’t even mentioned the anime openings and OST they made this year, capturing such a familiar feeling of the magic of our daily lives and fights.

They make music for us, for our generation, about issues and feelings we all face with every day in our daily life. And gosh, we needed TXT in 2020 so bad, I’m grateful for them

Red Velvet - Psycho

(Okay, so psycho is technically was released in 2019, but like only few days before new year’s eve so... I count it as a 2020 release)

RV had only one comeback this year as a whole group, they still made it iconic and served a song which quickly becamone of of THAT songs of 2020. I may say this too many times, but I’m in love with groups with unique concepts and sounds whoch can only be done by them. It’s especially true for RV: they always serve and never miss.

And I could go into details how perfect this song is and that I could spent a whole day just watching the MV, but I think everyone knows what I think exactly. It’s a masterpiece.

(Side note: though it’s not quite my style, I surprisingly like Irene and Seulgi’s song “Monster” too! One of the most iconic songs of this year)

Ateez

Answer, Inception

This was THAT year for 4th groups!

As I mentioned at Itzy and briefly touched on it at skz, i do feel like groups which debuted 1-2 years ago found their own sound, own style, own concept now and more confident and better in the music they put out. Don’t get me wrong, these groups were never bad - but now the improvement comparing to their debut days are so visible. You could feel ATEEZ are going hard, wild yet keeping it elegant and never losing their own style. I’m literally unable to tell you how much I loved their songs in this year and I’m more than excited to see what 2021 will bring for them and for us!

LUCY

Flowering, Jogging, Snooze

Definitely one of the best debuts of 2020. After all, you can’t see many korean bands with a violinist (if I’m correct, there’s only LUCY out there). I am absolutely in love with their uniqe style. It’s so different yet, it’s so needed, especially in this crazy times.

They sound like spring. Hopeful with the re-born nature around them. They sound like summer, july. Full of fantasy, and childish dreams of adventures in the backyard. They sound like early autumn. Something changed, something passed, a little grief in the begging of “please stay a child for a bit longer”.

3YE - yessir

Girl crush conceot is running high, kpop is full of powerful anthems for girls (and I love that!), but completely different what we were used to hear from 2nd generation groups. Music evolved throughout the time so there’s nothing surprising in this. Yet, 3YE was able to release a song which gives me off second generation vibes, it was impossible for me to not fall in love with it. It’s powerful, and catchy... deserved more attention from the gp.

Songs I liked and recommend but lazy to write more mini-essays:

Seventeen - Homerun, Left & right

Iz*one - The secret story of a swan, Panorama

Berrygood - Accio

Wjsn - Butterfly

G-Idle - Oh my god

Pentagon - Daisy

Loona - Star, So what

Blackpink - Lovesick girls

IU - Eight

KARD - Gunshot

Hoppipolla - Let’s

Hwasa - Maria

Weekly - Tag me

StayC - So bad

CLC - Helicopter

Everglow - La di da

Astro - knock

Dreamcatcher - boca

April - lalalilala

Apink - dumhdrum

BAE173 - crush on u

E’LAST - Tears of chaos

Oh my girl - secret garden

fromis9 - feel good

p1harmony - butterfly

HA:TFELT - Life Sucks

Sunmi x JYP - When we disco

Yukika - Soul Lady

Eric Nam - Paradise

Stella Jang - Villain

Zico - Any song

DPR LIVE - Jam & Butterfly (ft. Crush, eaJ)

Got7 - Last piece, Not by the moon

Weekly - tag me

Lacuna - Dancing in the rain

Cignature - Arisong

Jessi - Nununana

Blackswan - Tonight

N.flying - Oh really

Brave Girls - We ride

DreamNote - Wish

Natty - 19

[dishonoredrpg]

Congratulations, MINI! You’ve been accepted for the role of THE HIEROPHANT with the faceclaim of ANNA SHAFFER. Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Reading this through from start to finish, and sipping at my coffee -- I felt genuinely at peace. I knew right from the start you pinned down The Hierophant’s character, right from the very first sentence: “When you are brought into this world, a screaming and writhing ball of fury, your mother wails over and over: “I’m burning. I’m burning. I’m burning.”” Boom. Immediately hooked, no hesitation, no doubt. What followed was an in-depth dissection of human anger and rage and what happens when you let a pot boil over. I am fully prepared to let Kithri burn all of Tyrholm down when the time is right. In fact, I welcome the flames.

Please review the CHECKLIST and send your blog in within 24 hours.

OOC INFORMATION:

Name: Hey there! I go by Mini. Pronouns: She/Her/Hers. Age: I am 24! Timezone/Activity Level: I live in New York, so my time zone is EST. I work full time, but my hours are steady and I have evenings/weekends free. One of the things that excites me about this group is the promise of it being writing-heavy, and so in order to produce quality replies I would say that I will certainly be able to get posts up a few days during the week. I am also almost always at least mobile on Discord, and I am really committed to character development — I am frequently around to talk plotting or headcanons. Overall, I just intend to be an active presence! Anything Else: Nope!

IN CHARACTER INFORMATION:

Skeleton: The Hierophant. Name: Kithri Barwin (Pronunciation: ki as in “kiss,” -three, bar-win) Faceclaim: I did send in the message asking after a couple different possible FCs for this character, and I’d say of those that were approved, Anna Shaffer and Jodie Comer are my preferred FCs. I struggle to choose between the two, but I would say that Anna is my first choice, and Jodie is my second. When it comes to Anna Shaffer, I think that her look fits the vibe of the character in a big way. Generally, I almost feel like she fits into the world you’ve created better. I really love her and think she would suit the role nicely, my only hold up for her is that she looks so nice in all of her Witcher resources, and I’d like to have a FC that has range within their resources. But, I can also easily see her fitting the image I have in my head for the character. I’d have to boost her age a bit, probably 3 years — putting the character again at around 31. The thing that I like about Jodie, particularly in The White Princess (which would probably be the source I’d largely draw on for gifs), is that she does an excellent job of portraying this barely-contained rage in her face that I think translates very well to this role. Again, I’d have to boost up her age a bit for the appropriate range — I’d say I’d probably still play the character at around age 31, so 4 years older than Jodie. Really, I’d be happy with either one of them — whoever you see as being more of a fit! Age: 31 Details:

The first line of the skeleton, “you consider the day you celebrate your thirtieth year alive a victory over everything else,” immediately hooked me. What I get from this character is that every moment they live and breathe is something that they view as something that ought to be worthy of awe and admiration; and yet they are met with nothing more than a passing interest, and treated by many as a party trick. They are gifted and captivating, until they are no longer interesting to the people of the court. I also see the “arrogance” perceived in this character as being a huge coping mechanism — what choice do they have but to be proud of their power and the fact that they are living when no one else will recognize it? How can they not be proud, when they feel in their blood and bones that there is so much more power in them than is “appropriate” to display? And what is the point of this power, and the inevitable total consumption that it brings with it, if not to use it? Why do they have to look at their ever-growing scarification, and feel time ticking, if they receive nothing in return? I think for this character, the final straw was the utter dismissal of THE EMPEROR when they asked for the chance to fight at Koldam and show their true power. This was the final sign that neither Septimus nor his son would ever view them as having any more value than being court entertainment. Tyrholm and its King have given them nothing. And if they will not allow this character to embrace their power, then they will burn for it.

On a personal note, I can say that what really draws me to this character is a huge opportunity to play outside of my comfort zone and love doing it. I LOVE fantasy/medieval-type groups, and I tend to gravitate towards noble-class characters, or characters who are political animals. (I am a classic Margaery Tyrell applicant, basically.) But I am so in love with a character who is not only not invested in politics, but seems to almost entirely disregard it as being nothing more than a burden. I also love that they appear to increasingly wear their heart on their sleeve, and both emote and vocalize their disdain — I can only imagine what trouble they might find themselves in because of it. Furthermore, I can only imagine what trouble they might want to create.

And lastly, I did some research into THE HIEROPHANT tarot card. I am very interested in the idea of this card being the counterpart to THE HIGH PRIESTESS, which I’ll discuss further in the plot ideas section. The Hierophant traditionally represents traditional values and institutions, spiritual wisdom, and conformity. I view this character as being a clear representation of the card’s reversal, which represents personal beliefs, freedom, and challenging the status quo.  

BACKGROUND:

Below is Kithri’s backstory. This is my first attempt at writing second person POV for a bio, but I wanted to keep in the style of the skeleton!

i. ignition.

When you are brought into this world, a screaming and writhing ball of fury, your mother wails over and over: “I’m burning. I’m burning. I’m burning.” When you are brought to her breast to suckle, she shrieks and pushes you away and claims “it hurts.”  

Your mother cries for four days until her voice deadens to silence, and her teary eyes go unseeing. The midwives explain to your father that childbed sickness took her, and that it was the fever that burned her, but he does not believe them. He explains precisely two things to the women: one, that you are not his child, and two, that you murdered his wife. On the first, he is unquestioningly right. You do not carry his features, nor do you particularly look like your now-dead mother. Your face belongs to another man — who, your not-father does not know. It only matters that the memory of his wife has been tarnished, and the only piece of her that he might go on to have has not even done him the kindness of bearing her eyes or smile. On the second, the truth is complicated. You were unborn and your mother lived, then you came into the world and she died. Without you, she may have lived on. But is that murder? Your not-father assures you that it is.

He raises you, because he fears and loves the Undying God and knows that you must be his burden to achieve a blissful afterlife. He gives you his surname, even though to do so pains him. He allows you to call him father, even though he cringes every time you say it in your tiny, childish voice. You do all that you can to persuade him to love you, but it is all for naught. You are bad, and there is nothing you can do to be good. It becomes easier to lean into being bad, because then he at least has a reason to look at you. You are loud because it is the only way to avoid being ignored. You whine and cry and begin to throw tantrums until your not-father threatens to throttle you, or to toss your small body into the fireplace that you tend to gravitate to so often; as if it is the comforting skirts of an ever-absent matronly figure. It does not stop you. You beg to be seen, and will take whatever punishment comes with it.

One day, you are so angry and cry so much that it has no choice but to pour out of you: fire leaks from your burning fingertips and crawls up your throat from the black despair of your gut. For the first time, you see that your father does not simply hate you — he fears you. When it happens three more times — the fire finally unleashing itself from your mouth on the last occasion — you can hear your not-father crying to the Undying God for mercy as you pretend to sleep. Despite the tight squeeze of your eyes, you can feel the way the embers from the nearby fireplace pull towards you with something like a magnetic force  — inching closer and closer,  as if to give your fingers a soothing lick.

You are six years old when your father saddles the horse and tells you that the two of you will be going on a trip — a long journey from your home in Koldam to a place called Tyrholm that you know nothing about. You are misguidedly excited. The ride is long and arduous, but you enjoy the forced embrace of your father’s arms around you while you sit in front of him on the horse’s saddle. He mutters often how hot your skin is, but the comments rush over your small head. He brings you to a city much larger than the home you came from, and takes you to an inn where the people do not know you and give you ignorant, kind smiles. He whispers to the husband and wife who own the inn while you eat a hot meal, and later chastises you for your nosiness when you ask him what they spoke about. As you are drifting off to sleep, you think you hear your father remark with a sense of uncharacteristic pleasure: “we are a long way from home.”

When you wake the next morning, your not-father is gone.

ii. blaze.

Your father’s abandonment causes a tantrum unlike any you have had before, and in your grief you nearly burn down the inn that he has left you to. The woman who runs the now-damaged property coughs smoke from her lungs as she grabs you by your wild hair and promises to make you regret what you’ve done. Her husband is more empathetic, and wrestles you from the murderous woman’s arms as he attempts to soothe his wife: “she’ll be dead before long, sweetling — do not test the Undying God’s mercy by killing her yourself!”

The wife yells more at the husband, and the husband tries again to calm his wife, but all you hear is that you are dying, and the revelation leaves you feeling chilled for the first time in your life. With fear coursing through your veins, you run from the couple. You run even as the innkeeper attempts to take some of the gold coins your father had paid him to toss at your feet. You run even as the innkeeper’s wife screams for the guard. You run until exhaustion claims you, and you sleep that night in a cramped alleyway amongst the muck.

When you wake, you realize that you are truly alone. You do not know the way back to Koldam, and even if you did, you cannot simply walk back. You have no coin with which to purchase passage back to your home — and even if you did, you know with a too-mature sense of realism that nothing awaits you there. You are as good as an orphan, though perhaps that has been the case since the moment your mother breathed her last breath.

You survive on the streets in spite of the stink of death that clings to your skin. You steal to eat when the charity of strangers fails you, and sleep under porches and in hidden shadows. There are brief instances when merciful strangers allow you to sleep amongst their livestock, and even briefer occasions when a bleeding heart takes you under their roof for an evening. No one will hold on to you for long once they have an inkling of what you are. Slowly, you learn what that is. The inferni are the stuff of childhood nightmares, and now you are more horror than girl. For a long time, you strive to ignore the feeling of fire under your skin. For a long time, you wait to die. Despite this, you continue to live.

When the fire inside of you can no longer be denied, and when you are no longer convinced that every day you will die tomorrow, you start to play with the magic — just a little bit, and just to see. You watch as fire dances on your fingertips, and flows from your lips. You feel the way glowing torches and roaring fireplaces call out to you. Slowly, carefully, you find that you can bend the flames to your whim. You sense the innate control you have over the fire, even despite the cautious voice that whispers it controls you.

Over time, dying begins to feel an awful lot like growing power.

iii. wildfire.

You become the topic of whispers in Tyrholm, and you cannot deny that you like it. They whisper that you ought to be dead by now, and they whisper that you could burn a stable and all its horseflesh without blinking an eye. In all your years in the foreign city that has reluctantly become home, you have caused outright destruction only a handful of times, and nearly always by accident. There are few over the years who have cared enough to know your name, and your tendency to hide in plain sight means that you have evaded the notice of the guard.

You have never destroyed a stable with your burning hands, but when you hear the rumor, you know that you assuredly could. But what is true does not matter to the mundane civilians, who view your magic as something that can never be tamed. You have always craved attention, and you endeavor to feed off of their fear if it is all they will allow, but it does not taste nearly so sweet as the awe and reverence you not-so-secretly hope for. You think that if you could only show them all what mastery you have over the fire that flows from your body, they might realign themselves accordingly. Just as you did with yourself, you can slowly show them what you can do, and gradually reveal your power. Beyond the fears of conflagration, there is a beauty to what you can do; your very existence is something to behold, if they would only look your way.

If you cannot convince them to be wonderstruck by what you are capable of, you do not know what other options you have. You are uneducated and without a trade; too short-tempered to be a serving wench and too proud to be a whore. If they cannot see your beauty, whatever time you have left will comprise much of how you have lived so far: a street urchin on the brink of starvation, equal parts hungry and angry. Your very survival depends on a change of their hearts. You know that in order for them to be awed by you, you must act as if you are awed by yourself.

This forced arrogance is your downfall.

You bring too much attention to yourself too quickly, and the guardsmen that the innkeeper once threatened you with as a child finally arrive, albeit nearly twenty years later. You suspect at first that you will be brought to the cells and charged with disobeying the confusing laws on magic set forth by Septimus, but instead you are brought to Castle Tyrholm. Bizarrely, you are told that you will be brought before the King. You assume that this must be because he wants to deliver the punishment to you himself; to make an example out of you in front of his court. You expect to be thrust onto your knees before his throne, and instead find yourself ushered into the reception hall sometime after the King and his nobleblooded guests have eaten their fill. The occupants, Septimus included, stare at you. You stare back. A miserable beat passes, and then the King demands:

“Entertain us, mage.”

You waver for a moment, unsure of what to do, but decide ultimately that if your eternal fate is to die, you would rather do so showing them all some small piece of what you are capable of. You don’t approach the extent of your capabilities, but you allow a fraction of your true power to escape in a pretty dance of flames that causes gasps to erupt amongst the blue-blooded guests. When you tire yourself, you expect to see condemnation on the faces that surround you. The sound of applause is foreign, and you unabashedly revel in it.

You are offered a position at court that evening, and you do not hesitate in taking it. A part of you knows that it is not an offer, but a demand  — you are just too clouded by the heady haze of appreciation to mull over the consequences of that difference.

iv. inferno.

Six years elapse at the King’s court, and you have long-since known that it is not the hub of reverence you had hoped it could be. Not for your kind. Regretfully, it is not even a place where you feel at all accepted or appreciated for who you are. You are not exactly feared by the nobles who occupy the court, but it is not because what you are and what you are capable of does not frighten them. They view you as something wild that the King has broken; a dog on a very tight leash that does tricks for food and shelter. Their laughter is sometimes uncomfortable as they watch you perform your magic in the court, but they are nonetheless comfortable enough to laugh at all. Their applause is sometimes stilted when it is too clear that you are angry as you put on your little show, but they clap when Septimus claps anyway.

You would not dare bite the hand that feeds.

For all the scars that mar your body — the mark of death on your skin over and over again — you are still alive, which seems to impress nearly no one. The only magic that amazes is the work of the necromancers: they give the miracle of life, whereas the miracle of your life resonates with none but you. You are desperate to prove that you are so much more than the other inferni who have come before you, but you have no platform beyond court jester with which to do it. You feel an untapped power swirl in your gut. You grit your teeth and try — unsuccessfully — to ignore it.

When the King’s son prepares to lead the fight against Koldam, you ask — beg, really — for the chance to travel with him. You have no love for the son of Septimus, but you think it may be your only opportunity to show the full extent of your capabilities. Selfishly, secretly, you also have some desire to have revenge against the place where you were born. If your not-father is not dead, then he is old — but you nonetheless dream of him wearing a poor man’s armor while riding atop that same horse he’d taken you to Tyrholm on, burning in your flames.

When you are categorically denied and encouraged to return to your courtly duties, you understand that you will never be seen as you wish to be. You will never be on the same playing grounds as the Court Necromancer, who commands the respect of Septimus himself. There is no more hope to grasp at — there is nothing salvageable in the King’s court. Him and his kind will bid you to be their clown until your fire burns you from the inside out, and you finally die: a legend amongst inferni, and yet not at all remembered by those who beheld you.

At last, you realize the undeniable truth about what must be done. You decide then that if you have to burn up entertaining the nobles, you think it is only fair that they should burn too. For those who are left behind in the wake of your flames, you think your smoldering ghost will tell them the truth they have all so earnestly ignored —

—  a mage is not to be underestimated; an inferni least of all.

PLOT IDEAS:

The first four points I have listed are not so much general plotting ideas as they are specific expansions on the character connections the Hierophant has, with some general ideas I have about how I might develop that dynamic over the course of gameplay. The second four points I have are more general plot concepts that I would be happy to explore with whomever. I am also totally down for  doubling up — that is to say, any of the specific character connections can also fulfill the general plotting ideas.

THE HIEROPHANT AND THE HIGH PRIESTESS: As mentioned above, something that grabbed my interest in reading about the hierophant tarot card was the fact that it is the natural companion of the high priestess. Taking from the skeleton, I imagine that part of the reason Kithri finds necromancers uncomfortable to be around is because they are difficult to read, whereas she is expressive almost to the point of her own detriment. I also imagine that Kithri would experience a profound jealousy towards necromancers, given that they receive not just respect, but reverence. Given the role the High Priestess serves in the court, I believe that she would be the ultimate representation of everything that Kithri resents. I think challenging Kithri’s perception of what necromancers are and what the specific motivations of the High Priestess really are presents a good opportunity for character development. Depending on the route chosen by a prospective HP player, I can see Kithri finding herself manipulated into fighting the inevitable battle fully on the priestess’s terms, or perhaps finding an unexpected mentor. I also think this dynamic will put Kithri on an interesting journey into learning more about necromancers in general, and potentially finding some common ground through their shared — albeit differently expressed — magical capabilities. THE COURT JESTERS: After reading through the sample application for The Star, I immediately thought that Armel could have a really interesting dynamic with Kithri — and much to my excitement, Hierophant was included on the Star’s connections! I think that Kithri is really desperate for some sign of no-strings-attached kindness, or even a basic acceptance of who she is. Despite that desperation, she is heavily guarded and has a wall of defensive arrogance that would certainly shut people like Armel out. I think it’s interesting that the two essentially occupy the same position at court, and despite their different circumstances and upbringings, they’ve arrived at similar emotions and motivations when it comes to Septimus. I think it would be interesting to see Kithri start to learn trust and friendship — I think she could really benefit from having a confidante, especially as whispers of revolution spread. TO KOLDAM, WITH LOVE: I imagine that Kithri’s motivation for knowing what happened in Koldam is incredibly personally motivated. It was her home once, and though there isn’t anything about it that she looks back on fondly, there is nonetheless a lingering connection there. Although her prime motivation for coming along with the Emperor was having the opportunity to display her full abilities outside of the suffocating confines of the court, I think she also wanted an opportunity to have some revenge against her birthplace, which she likely wholly associates with “rejection.” I think the dissonance between the way the victory has been perceived and discussed by soldiers and the evident difference in the Emperor has clearly caught Kithri’s attention, and she feels as though she is owed some information on what really occurred in Koldam. I think this desire to know has the potential to push Kithri out of her typical tendency to be subjugated by the ruling class and brood. Seeing her in a position to gain the confidence to demand answers, even from a Prince, could certainly alter the way she is perceived by the nobles who view her as a trained monkey. THE ENEMY OF MY ENEMY: I found it very interesting that despite the fact Kithri and The Fool are on a similar side politically, the character connection situates them as having more of an antagonistic dynamic. I would love to explore Kithri’s feelings on being treated by The Fool as some kind of threat to the order they have established at court — I almost think that rather than cowing her into submission, it might empower her to know that someone recognizes just what all she is capable of. I think that as an overarching plot, this character interaction could be a great way to demonstrate that just because there are people who want Septimus gone, it does not mean that they are all allied or have the same ultimate end goal. I think this character interaction would provide a great opportunity to further develop what Kithri really wants to happen in Tyrholm. Will she stay committed to the idea of burning down the throne room, and the noble class with it? Or will she be swayed into falling into a political agenda? POLITICAL PET: As Kithri interacts with other revolters, I think it would be interesting to explore how she fits in with their political agendas. Kithri is not a politician, and I think she does not put much stock into what comes after Septimus is no more. Personally, I think this lack of foresight is not her being short-sighted — she just knows that the chances of her living long enough to see what happens after she shows Tyrholm what she’s capable of are minimal. Why should she care about what happens after she’s dead and gone? She squarely falls into the burn it all down camp, which differs from many of the characters who seem more motivated to find a suitable candidate to replace Septimus. Will Kithri pose a problem as the plot develops, and a coup is planned? Or is there a possibility that one of the revolters can convince her that acting in accordance with their plans will also give her the justice that she seeks? I’d love to play it out. LOW BREEDS FROM LOWTOWN: After being abandoned by her father, Kithri spent her life prior to joining the court in the streets of Lowtown. I’d love the chance to further develop Kithri’s history in Tyrholm through interactions with other characters who have come from this humbler background as compared to the noble characters in the group. I imagine that Kithri would feel more of a natural kinship with people from Lowtown as compared to the noble class, though she ultimately has still felt rejected by and large. Individuals from Lowtown would be more likely to see a less harsh version of Kithri. Because she defines herself so wholly by the fact that she is an inferni, I think it could be cool to explore a more human side to her. BEAUTY IN HORROR: I would really love to explore the dynamics that Kithri has with the other inferni present at the court. I found it interesting that in the skeleton, it ends with: “you’ll prove you are not a hound to be leashed — no mage is. You’re a powerhouse, and they won’t forget it.” This to me suggests that Kithri is not simply disgusted with her own treatment at the court, but is overall angry by the way mages have been treated by Septimus. Despite the fact that she may not be on the same side as the other inferni at court, I nonetheless imagine that there might be some commonality amongst the handful of them present that is worth exploring. Do they avoid one another? Do they have respect for one another? Do they feel at all like they can confide in one another? Kithri wants some kind of acceptance or validation, and so I think she might be open to fostering relationships with others who might understand what it is to be inferni — even if the other inferni might not have her best intentions at heart. HONEY & WILDFIRE ARE BOTH THE COLOR OF GOLD: As a final plot point, I would love to explore some opportunity for Kithri to show kindness or general soft-heartedness. So much of her is consumed in anger and rage, but I think she is still capable of acts of tenderness and empathy. Beyond that, I think she still desires some kind of a connection. Her life has been defined by her early abandonment, and I think it would be great for her long-term character development to have interactions where her rough exterior is gradually broken through. Whether this be through a romantic encounter or intimate friendship is to be decided by plotting, and I would absolutely love either!

CHARACTER DEATH: If it makes sense plot-wise, and given the caveat that you would ask first, I’ll say that I’m willing to have Kithri killed off!

WRITING SAMPLE:

***I do acknowledge that depending on what FCs other applicants may use, Kithri may not be the oldest inferni in the group — but based off the age suggestions set for the inferni skeletons, and for the purposes of the writing sample, I’m writing as if she is the eldest inferni at court. I hope that is okay!***

For all the profound hatred Kithri had built up in her heart towards King Septimus and his court of tittering noble fools, there was always a blip during her little performance where the utter loathing  she had towards the King and his retinue briefly slipped away. In the moments immediately preceding her entry into the reception hall, she seethed with barely-contained rage: she was not a trained dog, and by the Undying God, she would not do their little dance for them again. Kithri would pace before the large ornamental doors, grit her teeth and clench her fists, and glower at anyone who dared to meet her gaze. Just before she was escorted into the rowdy room by an apprehensive guard, she would allow herself the fantasy of lighting the hall ablaze, and settle herself with the knowledge that she would make good on the reverie one day. As she stepped inside the hall, the candles which lit the spacious area all suddenly extinguished; and the air filled with the scent of smoke and the gasps of her audience.

It was in that darkness she’d created where a shift occurred in Kithri: the rage did not disappear, but instead retreated to the recesses of her consciousness whilst the forefront became consumed by the fire she worked to conjure. A mind which was usually overwrought by powerful emotion and nonstop thinking became hyper-focused on the flames that leapt from her hands and bent to her whim; and for the duration of her performance she allowed herself the momentary pleasure of reveling in what she could do. With what was just a fraction of her true power, she could amaze any and all who were lucky enough to be seated in the room — their delighted murmurs and shocked exclamations were not lost on Kithri’s ears, even as the crackling flames glowed purple-blue with extreme heat. She was reminded of a time when she believed that all it would take to earn love was to prove that there was beauty in her abilities.

The rancor never stayed away for very long.

When her display of magic ended — which did not so much reach a natural conclusion, but instead finished when Septimus opted to cut it off with a sudden burst of clapping — the mage was thrust back immediately to her bitter reality. The momentary empowerment fled, and she was left with only her hatred and resentments, which clung to her skin like a plague. On some nights, in the moments after she re-lit the candles that gave light to the hall, she found herself staring at the occupants of the room: perplexed to find that they looked discomforted by her presence, when she had been so sure that they had been enamored by her only moments earlier. On others, they continued with polite applause even after she had finished, but the return of her own disgust made it impossible to enjoy the noise. No matter their reaction, she almost always exited the hall with some immediacy following the show of magic — she could not bear to linger around Septimus and his ilk any longer than was strictly necessary.

With a stiff and perfunctory bow, the mage had started to make her way towards the doors from whence she’d came when one of the King’s perfumed courtiers leaned over towards him and remarked: “your mage looks terribly old for an inferni — I thought that they all died before reaching adulthood.”

Kithri could not see the King smirk from her vantage, but she was certain that she could hear it in his voice as he spoke. She paused before the doors, glaring at the wood as if it were responsible for her continued presence in the reception hall, rather than the King who spoke at her back.

“Most die young — mine is a rarity. She is not without her own damage, unfortunately...they do all destroy themselves in the end. Mage, come back here. Show us the scars you’ve collected.”

A chill ran down Kithri’s spine at the request, and she felt her stomach sink as she slowly turned on her heel and made her way back into the heart of the room. Coming to a halt in the middle of the space, she uttered in a tone too icy to be appropriate: “they are covered by my clothing, Your Grace.”

Guffawing, the King waved a dismissive hand at her, and bid: “undo the damn buttons, girl!” Septimus looked about at his retinue, and commented with a sneer: “talented with the flames, this one is, but a bit soft in the head.”

Despite the King’s command to partially undress and display the consequences of her craft, Kithri did nothing for a long moment. She did not trust her hands to move from her sides without flames erupting from her palms and consuming the King — and she was momentarily unable to convince herself of any strong reasoning as to why that was a poor idea. Her wandering eyes caught sight of Septimus’s son seated nearby his father, and she remembered. The young heir sought, for some reason, to cut himself in his father’s image — she would be dead on his orders only moments after Septimus burned. Her death may have been an inevitability, but Kithri refused to die on anything less than her own terms. When she at last unleashed her power, it would not just be Septimus who suffered for it.

Only after repeating an internal chant of in due time in due time in due time did she at last allow her trembling fingers to unclasp the buttons which cinched her sleeves taught against her skin. Pushing up the fabric, Kithri revealed her forearms. The flesh was mottled with scarring: some marks were white and smoothed over with age, while others were raised with an angry-red newness. Kithri could feel the heavy thrum of her heart in her chest as she saw courtiers lean up from their seats to have a better view of her destroyed skin, and inhaled sharply through her nose when the King callously demanded: “I want to see the neck — undo those buttons as well.”

Burning fingers mechanically moved towards her neck, and the forced expression of indifference on Kithri’s face began to tip towards a more telling anger as she pulled apart the fabric concealing her neck. Not unlike her arms, the mage’s neck was similarly covered in scars at all different stages of healing — some were still tender to the touch, so much so that she visibly grimaced as she turned her head and agitated the healing tissue. Similar to the oohs and aahs the mage had earned with her performance, the occupants of the hall ogled her disfigurement with equal intrigue. Kithri endured the forced humiliation for what felt like an eternity before she found that she could trust herself enough to speak, and lifted her eyes to meet the King’s gaze. In her peripheral, she could see the necromancer lingering close by Septimus — she knew that the ancient woman had been watching just as closely as all the others in the room, though Kithri suspected it was not her scars that interested the discomforting woman. She hoped against hope that the elder woman thought the same thing she did: all of this should be burnt to rubble.

“If that is all, Your Grace — might I be excused to my chambers?”

Seeming to have lost interest in his pet, Septimus grunted his affirmative response. Kithri all but ran from the room, and when the heavy doors shut behind her she allowed her expression to melt into one of complete and utter contempt. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the bard — Armel — looking at her. Whatever his expression carried, be it amusement or empathy, she took it to be a mockery.

“Go on, then,” she hissed. “Have a look! And dream something horrible about it tonight.”  

ANYTHING ELSE:

Here is a mock blog for Kithri. I’ve filled it with some inspirational posts that fit my understanding of the character. I also have headcanons and a playlist below.

i. headcanons. One of the only creatures in Castle Tyrholm that Kithri shows any outright affection to is Nuria, a nasty tabby cat that serves as a ratter in her quarters within the castle. The cat is missing an ear and is otherwise scarred from numerous fights with other felines and animals within the keep, and has a tendency to hiss and scratch most who come near it. Nuria is sweet with Kithri, which may be because the two are kindred spirits. Kithri uses a gentle hand with the cat, and feeds her table scraps she brings back from the dining hall. As a result of the frequent use of her magic, Kithri often has a smokey, scorched scent clinging to her. Her hair is frizzled at the ends from the extreme heat it is often near, and the majority of her clothes are singed around the wrists. Speaking of her clothing, Kithri often wears dresses and other garments that are long-sleeved and have a high neck. She is not ashamed of the scars she bears — or at least, if someone were to ask her if she was, she would vehemently deny it — but she does not believe that the effect of her magic on her body is anyone else’s business. Kithri has accepted that her scarring is an inevitability of her magic, but she does still suffer some pain from their development across her body. She dutifully applies healing salves to the afflicted areas nightly. She knows that it will not make the marks disappear, but it does afford her some relief from the tenderness and discomfort that comes with newly developed burns and scars. Not unlike the chill that comes from having a sunburn, Kithri often feels cooler than most despite the fact that her skin is warm — or even hot — to the touch. Kithri struggles with sleeping at night, which is largely attributed to racing thoughts and powerful emotions that she struggles to control. Because of this, she has a tendency to sleep during the day time — not for extended periods of time, but she is good for a daily nap or two. It helps that she has a limited interest in interacting with others at the court: she has no qualms with spending her day sleeping rather than out and about. Kithri identifies as bisexual, and has had sexual encounters with both men and women. Sex for Kithri is largely transactional: it is more about lust and release than emotional connection. There are very few sexual memories she looks back on with any sense of nostalgia or affection.

ii. playlist.

I have a playlist posted on Kithri’s mockblog, but I figured I would also just list out the tracks/relevant lyrics here for ease: Prologue: Firebird Suite: The Infernal Dance – Igor Stravinsky. i. Motherless Children – Steve Miller Band (Father do the best he can when the mother is gone, but there’s so many things he just don’t understand) ii. Arsonist’s Lullaby – Hozier (When I was a child, I'd sit for hours, staring into open flame. Something in it had a power, could barely tear my eyes away) iii. Bravado – Lorde (I’m faking glory, lick my lips toss my hair) iv. My blood – Ellie Goulding (And God knows I’m not dying but I breathe now) v. Let the Flames Begin – Paramore (I give it all my oxygen, to let the flames begin) vi. Already Dead – The Pretty Reckless (I’m cold, already dead) vii. Seven Devils – Florence and The Machine (I don’t want your money, I don’t want your crowd, see I have to burn your kingdom down) viii. The Wild One – Suzi Quatro (I’m a red-hot fox, I can take the knocks, I’m a hammer from hell. Honey, can’t you tell?) ix. Destruction – Joywave (Oh my god, there’s no one who can set me right. I’ve been sent to torch the palace down in broad daylight) x. Whore of Babylon – Zheani (I’m naked, dancing frustrated, the brighter flame has you faded) Epilogue: Concerto L’estate RV 315 (The Four Seasons: Summer.) – Antonio Vivaldi.

Thank you so much for reading through all of this. I appreciate your time, and hope for the opportunity to take part in what I think will be a really amazing group! If you opt for another applicant, I would love any feedback you have!

p.s. - i’m just gonna leave this display of Kithri Energy here: