#also im sorry mobile users it especially looks like shit on the phone

[midnightcrustcat]

hi gyus im working on a neocities website, im still very new to html so it looks kinda meh but i am doing my best to learn so fuck it we ball🔥🔥🔥

for anyone who's curious

[ashenwaste]

So while you were at the counter assembling things you needed, would this have been an okay time to ask you if you needed help, or is it best to not ask at all? Would you feel differently if it had been a food court employee who asked you if you needed help? I mean to say as an able bodied person, do I ask someone if they would like help? Thanks for educating me, and I'm sorry your mall trip was ruined. Screw those people who don't know you and shame on them. Have a nice day xx

i think i clarified this in an earlier response, but i did ask for help at the counter and was ignored 😓

it’s a little bit unclear IRT that manner. helping disabled people should be gaged similar to— if i saw someone who was not in a wheelchair who was struggling with this, would i ask for help? often times i find the dichotomy between when people offer to help when im without a mobility aid versus using a cane versus using a wheelchair sort of like an exponential graph. it’s almost zero with no aid, maybe a few with my cane, and overwhelming when im using a wheelchair.

there’s a pretty good anecdote, and i don’t remember by whom, about how sometimes in public, this wheelchair user will just be parked, looking at their phone or just chillin’, waiting for something, and people will approach them and ask if they’re okay. if they’re parked near a door, people will hold the door, expecting them to go through, when they’re just parked. it’s part of this inciduous assumption that wheelchair users need a ton of extra help and that they can’t do anything on their own. in reality, if spaces were already accessible, wheelchair users wouldn’t need that help at all.

it’s a tricky space to be in because often public spaces are designed inaccessibly, even the places that claim to be accessible. people park in front of curb ramps, elevators are out of order, accessible stalls are built too small, there are no automatic doors or door switches (or those switches don’t work). the ground could be uneven, there could be one step into the building and no ramp. there could be many steps into the building and no ramp. high stools, high tables, high counters, not adequate space to move around. places see this as not necessary.

back to a different part of your question; if the employees had hypothetically offered help, yeah, i might have been more receptive. for one, they’re just doing their job and i get that. and i’ve also been on the other side. wheelchair users would come into where i worked all the time, and often i would carry stuff for them to the register. i always asked first which brings me to my next point:

don’t do shit for disabled people you don’t know without asking, especially if that involves touching them. don’t touch their wheelchair, don’t grab their shit.

other related anecdote; when i was in line at the burger place, the ribbons that they use to mark out the line were too small for me to wheel through. i loudly exclaimed “oh, come on!” and turned to look at the man behind me, who got the message and gladly widened them. sometimes asking for help is not a meek “hey can you carry my bag”; it can be many things.

the more disabled people you speak to the more complex an issue you will come to understand. there is no black and white answer, because everything in life is complex and need nuance. often times people who think they’re helping are not. many times disabled people need help they don’t get. the best way to approach this is to advocate for universal design, and maybe just be more aware of the issue, and give it a bit of thought.

here’s my last thing as well; quick and easy guide to if you should ask a wheelchair user if they need help.

would you ask an abled person?

did you notice anyone else offer to help them?

is this a situation a full time wheelchair user could definitely get themselves out of? (using wheelies, asking friends/caregivers, using their legs in the case of ambulatory users)

(optional, not always applicable) is the wheelchair user in pain? are they vocalizing discomfort?

your answers should be: yes, no, no, yes

i hope this helps :D 🤟♿️