#also im really good at getting into things way late rofl

[fanaticartisan]

I'm honestly surprised it took you so long to catch the Spamton hyperfixation dshfsdu

I’ve been extremely sunk in Plaguecore for three years! I did play the chapter when it first came out, but to be honest, i kinda rushed it because I was anxious about what was going to happen. I do remember vividly that I was impressed with him in his scene, but when i couldn’t figure out how to find him again, i kinda gave up.

But now! the spamton sweepstakes happened. A whole website of content! a whole crazy video! and i learned how much i had missed in the game!

And…

the kind of character Spamton is just has so much POTENTIAL. so many LAYERS. hes a madman and a professional! a puppet and a force to be reckoned with! when a character has so much to play with, the fanartsy mind can go as wild as it wants and feel at home c:

[taissaswifelowkey]

Yellowjackets calling/texting you pt.ii!

a/n: DAMNN okay so i really need to figure out how to insert hyperlinks without it showing the whole thing 💀💀 also in pt i, i mistakenly added jackie TWICE instead of including lottie :(( my bad. ig it’ll be up to us to interpret who’s who 😭

i also decided to do a modern timeline for once!! proofread and as usual feedback is always welcome and enjoy 🥶💯💯

italics = texts, dialogues will be known with quotation marks

warnings: mentions of canon elements! they’re light spoilers but i’d rather be safe than sorry about ruining the show for someone. self-indulgent but you already know it yellowjackets gay propaganda 😎‼️‼️

modern timeline

📚 with meetings, galas and interviews and both of your conflicted schedules taissa doesn’t always have time to be with you (even though you’re often her plus one!) you’re not that much at the house at the same time but she’ll always text you to check up on you, making sure you and sammy are okay. ive said this once and ill say it again, ms turner is an avid ellipses and ok user. also uses the 👍 emoji

I made pasta!!

👍 Nice.

I might come home late…

Whose body do I need to bury??

i think she’ll also send you motivational quotes, or something related to philosophy. or anything that reminds her of your relationship. she can be simultaneously romantic and so nerdy, you love it

You know what this reminds me of? A certain quote of Socrates.

You talk about that guy more than you do about me 😒😒😒

🛹 if im thinking idealistically, it would be random texting with van. anything from memes, to weird statements, to memes again. but if you want my solid truthful opinion? i think she’s not really that big on technology. will mostly call you for hours using her vintage landline. you two however do keep contact with each other in any way when you’re apart, or when she’s on yj business

This TikTok has me rolling and sobbing

TikTok as in…the clock? Why would it make you cry? Are you okay?

phone calls when you are away! she loves hearing your voice :(( and you love hearing her laugh. she swears it’s awful but you like it in a “i like that laugh, hahaha” way. but back to idealist thinking, she would honestly use a list of emojis to communicate like

😁😃☺️😌😊👌

What’s happening?

I’m saying yes for the groceries get with the times 🙄😒🫤

🕷️ nat will forget to answer your text messages but she’ll still answer you as soon as she remembers? or she’ll just reply to you in person. otherwise than that she’ll take pictures of anything that reminds her of you. idk why but i think she texts in all caps unintentionally. would also have a few typos

I HATE TRAFFIC

Omg are you okay?

UTS FINE I JSUY DONT KIKE YRFFUF BUT IM OAKY

would use all sorts of emojis in any context but according to her interpretation. it leaves you confused most of the time like what does 🦵 mean???

🎀 hear me out…same as van i feel that adult lottie doesn’t use her phone that much??? i mean sure a few texts here and there but it’s not allll the time. HOWEVERRRR if, let’s say you’re on some trip or something, she will call/text/facetime you every now and then. would also text you right after calling

Heyyy how are you 🥰🥰🥰

Good :)) and you?

Great but I just miss you

It’s only been 30 secs since we hanged up lot 😭😭

is the type of person to send you recommendations on outdoors or indoor activities like “we should do this 🥰🥰🥰”

🦉 misty is a serial texter (when she has time, being a nurse and a secondhand dexter takes up a lot of time) so, sporadically, you’ll have messages. pictures of her coffee, or to gossip with you and minion memes. im telling you your inbox are spammed with facebook memes to the point of it being slightly concerning? also uses acronyms and 😂🤣

LOL check THIS out I am ROFLING 😂😂😂

This is the 10th minion meme in a day 😭😭

will also correct you. is literally ☝️🤓 but it’s something about those asterisks and corrections that brings a smile to your face

🪵 shauna is basically your virtual reminder. you hardly even use the notes app. sends you voice messages and expects you to reply with the same format. sends you pictures of what she did throughout the day

Look at what I found in our garden today!!

Aww that’s a cute bunny can we name it Mayfield

WILL and WILL expect you to answer directly, or at least answer 10 minutes after. of course that not apply when you’re busy but if she’s doing the groceries and you’re at home you can answer, right? right???

🧸 voice messages with jackie taylor. like, podcasts. lots of tiktok memes, insta reels, just like lottie she will send you couple activities and be like we should do this omggg 😍😍😍 uses emojis, sometimes will spam you and WILL expect you to answer her too.

Hey beautifullll 🥰

Hi :)

Can you pls listen to my voice memo

Jax it’s three minutes long 😭😭

So??? It’s a signed masterpiece LISTEN TO IT

i think she’s also the type to send you playlists but also random recommendations, not just couple stuff. like clothing, jewellery, or makeup if that’s your thing. if you two are apart expect lots of 1 hour facetimes and thirty minutes of texting right after

[hongism]

OK, new MOC chapter, here we go. First off, Yunho, please stop eye-fucking Hongjoong. He’s trying to give a lecture, and you are being distracting. Just stop, bro. Hongjoong just ripping straight into yn while disregarding Yunho, though. XD But like, Joong, love, can you not be that beautiful while giving this lecture? What was that little exchange about keeping yn in line? What were those two talking about beforehand? The respect thing, though. Sir, you are a mystery we love to dwell upon. Hongjoong pointing out yn’s inability to act like an actual elitist. Wooyoung, you little dorky baby. YEo’s hair is not the priority at the moment no matter what you may believe. Rofl. But the way he’s speaking up more, such growth. So proud of you, Woo. So proud. But what is the special case for San? I’m curious, do tell me we get some more details on that later on? he revelation about the pardon papers? Also, calling her out on San being a weak point when it comes to Jisung? Oof. Sir, calm down. The idea of Jisung getting payback for messing with yn’s memory? Would that truly give her closure on the subject, seeing as she would never really be able to trust memories prior to meeting the crew? Oh, oh god, the scene in the brig. Joong, can you stop being cruel and beautiful at the same time? It’s hardly fair. Poor Hwa, though. I wanna put him in my pocket. The casual ‘have your talk in this time’ and then leaving? I can’t say I laughed, but it was more of a sigh, cuz the brig didn’t really seem like the place to have that talk? But it was had, and while I’m sad about it, I’m still hoping for sanhwajoong foursome as the ending ship. Lol. Woo being so excited that Mingi is home! So sweet, he’s such a wonderful boy. Oh no, what just? Woo just reached a new peak and I am for it. Go, baby, go. I have loved watching him grow from that quiet little shy thing to where he is now. And getting a little on the cruel side for him with Jisung over yn? Can’t say these boys don’t consider her a part of the team at this point. Especially to Woo. But Mingi is back, which is a relief in the middle of the joy of Jisung getting just a little bit of what he has coming to him. These boys are not going to let her go without a fight, and I feel like San is gonna be at the front of the line. Again, the checkmate line? Probably one of my favorite lines in the whole chapter, and I loved a lot of lines. This was so good. I’m so excited to hopefully get San back.-🦋

OKAY SORRY IM LATE!!! took me a bit to sit down and answer this i'm so sorry flkjsldfjslkdf but !! our dear yunho HAHAH props to hongjoong for ignoring him and continuing on with ripping into y/n tho :3 unfortunately we all simp for hongjoong even when he's lecturing mc ;;-; him and yunho talking about things beforehand hmhmhm 😏 but hongjoong is always there to remind her of her shortcomings mhm

wooyoung is learning and growing and being more open ! and lots of growth to come as well! what IS the special case for san hmhmhm we WILL get more details on that in the next chapter indeed ! we couldn't have thought that hongjoong DIDNT know what was going on hm?

there shall be a lot of deliberation and moral dilemmas and personal dilemmas when it comes to the situation with jisung and i think that the resolution of it will be one that may not be expected and perhaps not even make a lot of sense at first glance but i promise it'll all work out :3

the scene in the brig was very ?? bittersweet i hink is the right word for it. and honestly for a talk like that, the place and situation they were under cant be too much of an effect on them as its been a convo they've needed to have for a while ! but its still FARRRR from endgame, nothing is over for certain yet so do not worry ! there is still plenty of time !

our sweet wooyoung is truly best boy (along with mingi of course) and seeing him go from tiny shy scared lil thing to more confident and stronger and ahhh it's so lovely to see the way they're growing over time and its exciting as the writer to see how you guys react to it ahhhh i hope im able to keep it up and continue to show their growth well over time <3

heh im glad you enjoyed the checkmate line, i wrote that line a long time ago actually and before i wrote anything else for this chapter so ! it was one i was excited to share for sure :3

[glitter-lisp]

analogical/royality

emo friend: if i ask you a question do you promise not to laugh

romano: no but I promise not to tell you if I laugh

emo friend: bitch

emo friend: whatever I’ll take it

emo friend: okay here goes

emo friend: (not laughing means not typing out lol or lmao either)

romano: rofl

emo friend: I am going to kick your ass

—————

little brother best friend forever: Afternoon, Patton. Are you available to chat for a few minutes?

Patton: always!!! what’s up, bud?

little brother best friend forever: I have the sort of question I don’t normally ask.

Patton: ooooh, what is it?

little brother best friend forever: You know that thing that you always want to talk about and that I never want to talk about?

Patton: OH MY GODO HMY GOD OHMYGOD

Patton: YES PLEASE ASK ME RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS OH MY GOD I AM SO READY

—————

emo friend: im serious though if you laugh I will delete all the contacts in your phone and let you figure out who tf is who

romano: woah ok serious talk time then. No laughing. Promise

emo friend: really promise?

romano: Cross my heart and hope to die

emo friend: do you think Logan likes me?

romano: bUAHAHAHAHA

—————

little brother best friend forever: Please control yourself. I’m embarrassed enough as it is.

Patton: right!!! Sorry!!! I’m being good :D what’s the question?

Patton: :D

little brother best friend forever: Will you be able to keep it to yourself if I tell you? It’s not something I want bandied about.

Patton: super secret!!!! I’m great with secrets!! Like I never told you that I was the one who spilled orange juice on your Sherlock Holmes book in second grade

little brother best friend forever: What?

Patton: what

—————

emo friend: ROMAN I STG

romano: Roman is too busy wheezing to come to the phone right now please leave a message

romano: oh my god dude you had me so worried there I thought this was something serious

emo loser: you’re such an ass. this is serious I’m serious does he like me

romano: no dummy he hates your guts obviously he’s just been pretending to like you all these years. It’s a long con

romano: virgil

romano: virgil you know I’m kidding right

romano: dude it’s been like five minutes I’m sorry I was kidding

emo loser: ok

—————

little brother best friend forever: I’ve been talking to Virgil lately, and he’s said some things that have made me think.

Patton: wow, made YOU think? That’s a new one!!!

Patton: jk you’re very smart and ilu

lover boy: Yes, well, you know I’m not the best at subtext, but even I have noticed the sorts of things he’s been implying.

lover boy: Without going into too much detail, I’ve been thinking about implementing some changes into mine and Virgil’s relationship.

Patton: OH MY GOD O HMY GOD OHMYGODOGMYGOD

—————

romano: Logan adores you, virge. You’re his favorite person in the world

emo loser: yeah?

romano: yeah, def

romano: what brought this on? Is something going on with you two? I thought you were solid

emo loser: no nothing’s happening it’s just. Idk I mean you know how I get with the

emo loser: thinking

romano: ah, yes, the thinking. and the overthinking?

emo bean: yeah and the overthinking

—————

Patton: OKAY SO HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO IT

Patton: WILL THERE BE FLOWERS

Patton: WILL YOU SING TO HIM!!!!!

lover boy: No, I won’t.

Patton: DO YOUVVHAVE A SPEECH PLANNED OR ARE YOU JUST!!! GONNA!!!! SPEAK!!!!!!!!! FROM!!! YOUR!!!!! H E A R T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

unromantic fool: Why are you yelling?

Patton: CAN I BE TGERE TO RECORD IT OR DO YOU WANT SOMETHING MORE PRIVATE

unromantic fool: I would prefer you not be there.

Patton: IF I CANT COME CAN I AT LEAST SET UP A CAMERA WITH A LIVEFEED SO I CAN WATCH AND RECORDBIT AND THEB WATCH IT AGAIN LATER

unromantic fool: Patton! It’s just a simple question; I’m not sure why you’re getting so excited.

Patton: HOW ARE YOU /NOT/ EXCITED IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY FOR YEARS OH MY GOSHNESS

unromantic fool: Well, that’s... actually a little sweet.

Patton: <3<3<3

—————

romano: so what exactly are you overthinking about today?

romano: I mean Logan obvs but Why

emo bean: I dunno we’ve just been talking a lot recently and he’s been kind of

emo bean: uh

romano: kind of what?

emo bean: .........

emo bean: ........................

romano: .....

emo bean: ............

romano: virgil what has he been kind of

emo bean: ........... flirty?

romano: holy shit

—————

unromantic fool: Well, I’ve put a lot of thought into it already. I suppose some of the excitement has worn off by now.

Patton: that’s okay!!! I will be excited enough for both of us :D

unromantic fool: That’s not how excitement works, but I appreciate the sentiment.

unromantic fool: Besides, it’s not exactly a life changing question.

Patton: it.... kind of is, though?

unromantic fool: No, not really. I’ll be happy if he says yes, but I won’t be devastated if he says no. His answer won’t change the way I feel about him, but I would never push him into something he doesn’t feel comfortable with.

slightly romantic fool: I want him to be happy.

Patton: I just teared up holy heck that’s so sweet!!!!! Ilu both and ilu together <3

—————

romano: okay wait, flirty how? Like different from his usually flirting with you?

emo bean: what do you mean his usual flirting with me? Logan doesn’t ever flirt with me

emo bean: this is a very new development

romano: okay I’m more than a little befuddled right now

romano: you’re saying you’ve been dating for three years and he’s never flirted with you?

emo bean: we’ve been what

emo disaster: roman we’ve been WHAT

————— 

Patton: sooo how are you gonna do it? have you thought it out?

Patton: ha that’s a dumb question of course you’ve thought it out

Patton: but have you decided how to do it yet?

slightly romantic fool: I have some ideas. I first just want to ask you... well, this is embarrassing. But you’ve known Virgil longer than I have. I don’t like to sound uncertain, but do you think he’ll respond positively?

Patton: you mean, do I think he’ll say yes?

slightly romantic fool: In a word.

Patton: yes!!!!!

slightly romantic fool: Yes?

Patton: YES!!!!!!!!

Patton: I CAN’T BELIEVE

Patton: MY BABY BRO

Patton: IS GETTING

slightly romantic fool: Patton, you’re thirty-seven minutes older than me. 

Patton: MARRIED!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Virgil Sanders: I’m sorry, what?

————— 

romano: dating....? 

emo disaster: wtf why would you think that

romano: because you aRE?? you two go on dates? and hold hands??? and talk about getting married literally all the time?

romano: how is that not dating

emo disaster: friend dates platonic handholding joking marriage proposals

romano: virgil are you shitting me

romano: patton and i have literally gone on double dates with you two for YEARS now

emo dumbass: THOSE WERE GROUP HANGOUTS

romano: wtf is wrong with you

—————

Mr. Virgil Sanders: Goodness, Patton, I think it’s a little too early in the relationship for that large a step.

Mr. Virgil Sanders: I know you’re a very excitable person, but do try to be at least somewhat realistic.

Patton: THERE IS NOTHING UNREALISTIC

Patton: ABOUT TRUE LOVE

Patton: IT’S BEEN LONG ENOUGH

Patton: I HAVE BEEN PLANNING THIS WEDDING

Mr. Virgil Sanders: What wedding?

Patton: FOR TWO

Patton: WHOLE

Mr. Virgil Sanders: What wedding, Patton?

Patton: YEARS

Mr. Virgil Sanders: WHAT WEDDING, PATTON?

Patton: YOUR WEDDING TO VIRGIL ALSO THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME IN ALL CAPS

Mr. Virgil Sanders: pat are you fucking high

—————

romano: virgil pls tell me you’re joking pls tell me you’re playing dumb

emo dumbass: roman i’m gonna lose my shit i stg im not joking logan and are not dating and we never have been

romano: HOW

emo dumbass: DO I LOOK LIKE I FUCKING KNOW

emo dumbass: I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF I SHOULD ASK HIM OUT

emo dumbass: JFC THIS IS THE LAST TIME I EVER ASK YOU FOR ADVICE

romano: YESS OBVIOUSLY YOU SHOULD ASK HIM OUT BECAUSE HE WILL SAY YES BECAUSE YOU ARE A L L!!!! R E A D Y!! D A T I N G!!!

emo dumbass: BITCH,

—————

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: patton darling, have you spoken to your brother recently

pattoncake: yeah, I’m texting with him right now!

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: I am going to tell you something unbelievable but I need you to know that I would never lie to you

pattoncake: of course!!!!! I know that!!! what is it?? are you okay????

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: logan and virgil.... are not dating

pattoncake: umm? I’m literally talking to logan right now and he wants to propose to Virgil

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: W H A T

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: VIRGIL LITERALLY JUST TOLD ME LIKE TWO MINUTES AGO THAT THEY’RE NOT EVEN DATING

pattoncake: why would logan propose if they’re not dating?

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: did logan like, actually say he was going to propose?

pattoncake: yeah!!!!

pattoncake: well, noo

pattoncake: but he meant it

pattoncake: I think

pattoncake: oh shoot I may have misread the situation

pattoncake: you’re sure they’re not dating?

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: you are adorable and I love you

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: yes i’m sure

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: just casually tell logan that he should ask virgil out and i’ll tell virgil the same thing and we’ll see who does it first

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: i bet it’s logan

pattoncake: I’m not betting on our friends!!!!

pattoncake: besides it’s totally gonna be virge, i believe in him!!!!!!!

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: and you don’t believe in your brother? :O

pattoncake: aNYWAYS i’m gonna text him now ok bye ilu ttyl

—————

Patton: sorry, haha, I got overexcited! you should definitely ask Virgil out, he’ll definitely say yes!!!!

Future Mr. Virgil Sanders: You think so?

Patton: I know so!!!!!!! go for it!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!!!!!

Future Mr. Virgil Sanders: Thank you, Patton.

Patton: <3

—————

stupid fuckin asshole disney prince wannabe: seriously tho virgil just ask him out

fuckin asshole disney prince wannabe: he never shuts up about you

asshole disney prince wannabe: he’ll trip over himself trying to say yes

emo dumbass: ........................................ yeah?

asshole disney prince : yeah

actual disney prince: you got this, virge

—————

Virge: soo i have a question

smort boi: Virgil, can I ask you something?

Virge: lmao same text

Virge: oh shit sorry you’re typing

smort boi: My apologies, I just saw that you’re in the middle of typing something.

smort boi: Oh.

Virge: we’re so stupid oh my god okay you go

smort boi: You can go first.

Virge: LOGAN

smort boi: Really, I don’t mind.

smort boi: oh, we did it again

Virge: okay let’s just

Virge: at the same time?

smort boi: Yes, that might work.

Virge: okay so like... in one minute from the time you receive my next text, we’ll send each other our questions at the exact same time

smort boi: That seems doable.

Virge: GO one minute on the clock

smort boi: Virgil, would you like to go out with me on a romantic date at some point in the near future?

Virge: i really like you and i think we should be boyfriends or whatever if you want

Virge: OH SHIT

smort boi: Well, that was certainly serendipitous.

Virge: youre serious? no joking?

smort boi: No, no joking at all. I would very much like to be boyfriends.

smort boi: Or whatever.

Virge: and id like to go out with you on a romantic date at some point in the near future

smort boi(friend?): Well then.

Virge <3: well then indeed

smort boi(friend): Pizza at Sal’s? Friday at six?

Virge <3: uhhhh where else would i be on friday night at six? that’s been pizza night for years

smort boi(friend): Well, yes, but this time it would be... well, romantic. Because it would be a date. We would be dating.

Virge <3: you raise a good point

Virge <3<3: i guess i’ll see you friday then

smort boifriend: I’m looking forward to it.

Virge <3<3<3<3: me too my dude

—————

emo dumbass: okay he said yes i gotta go pass out later dude

—————

Future Mr. Virgil Sanders: HE SAID YES HE SAID YES OHMY GOD HOLY SHIT PATTON WE’RE GOING ON A DATE HE SAI D BOFRIENDS WE’RE BOYFRIENDS AHOLY FU CK

—————

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: we’re just the best, aren’t we?

pattoncake: yeah, pretty much

pattoncake: ilu

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: ilu2 babe

[pidgezero-one]

does using a blogging site for #pastebinmonday defeat the purpose? who cares

speedrun PBs:

overall this has been a great year for me. i didn't meet all the goals i set at the start of the year, but some of them i became less invested in while developing others.

i achieved top 300 in super mario kart, which is a big deal for me considering the level of competition in that game developed over 19 years. pretty proud of that, and i know i have so much more potential to climb.

i'm pretty happy i got a bunch of people to run crystal caves for a while. i talk a lot of shit about my runs but my WR is actually not that bad. i think with the route i'm using i can save half a minute at most. i'll get it soon.

i got a time i'm somewhat happy with in smrpg any% and took a hiatus from that category. i started running smrpg most of the stuff and it quickly became bar none my favourite thing to speedrun. i almost have my time under 4 and a half hours, currently sitting at 4:31:56. that's wild considering how good i thought my 4:47 was, lol. i'm having so much fun improving my times and finding time saves and helping flesh out the route and all that. i also had fun routing Beat Culex and am going to return to working on that category soon. think it'll always be my favourite game.

dkc2 is hard but i'm enjoying learning it.

i'm very happy with my mario land 2 time. submitting to agdq for the first time and not seeing a wall of red was neat even if it is a lottery. i was only a backup runner but i know that my time being decent allowed for that. i'll grind this game again soon.

i dunno if im gonna return to EB pajama. i really liked the all sanctuaries routing, and it's obsolete now. we'll see.

current plans:

i haven't streamed much this week because i'm having capture card issues =( so instead i've been doing the following:

-uninstalling drivers from device manager and reinstalling over and over

-trying old drivers

-attempting to test in amarec, which crashes, bc the native software also crashes

-testing from usb ubuntu, which wouldn't load and started hanging when i tried to manually run casper

-testing from usb linux mint which worked, but i don't wanna change OSes

-forcefully installing an obsolete windows 7 update to bypass a sha256 error

-bricking my OS with the above step, unable to boot to command line or use system restore from repair disc

-taking the drive out of my laptop and using an old win7 install on a 3rd hard drive to copy my files on the dead drive to an empty partition on the laptop drive

-the copy operation froze up so i made a backup instead

-was able to unbrick my OS after all and deleted the backup

-deleting the empty partition and attempted to fresh install windows 7 on it

-turns out my optical drive isnt reading discs at all which explains why i couldnt run startup repair

-made a boot usb of windows 7

-saved an image of my OS to the empty partition

-reinstalled windows 7 on my drive

-swapped the pcie slots of my cap card and usb card

-tried very old drivers to flash the card which also hung when i let it run overnight

-card somehow flashed itself successfully after i uninstalled the drivers

-upgrading to windows 10 which i left running while i go to work

so yeah... this is an adventure lol. as soon as i can restore my OS i'll get back to streaming, speedrun calendar coding, and drawing your emotes

luckily there's plenty of stuff i can stream that doesn't need a capture card! until i can get game capture working again, i will likely be streaming the following:

-return to the Crystal Caves 1 any% grind! my standing WR has about 30 seconds of mistakes in it. would like to get that 22.

-maybe i'll pick up CC1 any% cheat codes... /maybe/

-got lots of smrpg science to do. i'm planning on documenting every timed hit in the game. i might stream this casually

-speaking of smrpg science, i'm planning on rerouting the Beat Culex category to skip pandorite, i might stream that too since i can do it mostly with web tools

offline i'll practice dkc2 and mario kart.

other speedrun stuff:

rpg limit break 2017 was a huge turning point in my "career". i'm very grateful i had that opportunity and did a good enough job with it. to this day i still have ppl contacting me on twitter to say how much they enjoyed my run. that's cool. i will be submitting smrpg most of the stuff to 2018.

doing a billion marathons was great. i love to entertain, i love to perform, despite being mildly antisocial irl lol. got to meet a lot of amazing people that way and have no regrets.

thank you everyone for the support this year, it makes it a lot more fun. it's still wild to me that ppl actively wanna watch me play video games

i don't know what marathons i'll be going to next year.

smash stuff:

i miss you guys so much you have no idea

good personal stuff:

holy crap guys i got really thin, im not sure if 160lbs is a good goal anymore. if i see my ribcage protrude too much more i'll stop lol

i'm still reeling from friday. if you don't know what happened friday, read this thread: https://twitter.com/pidgezero_one/status/941905358259408897 i love my friends so much and i'm very very lucky to have you guys in my life... i dont even have the words for what i was feeling during and after that

in case it wasn't obvious enough from that thread and also this https://twitter.com/pidgezero_one/status/942742039158018048, grats to everyone who suspected that i'm in love with mishrak! unfortunately i dont have a prize 4 u. but this is definitely why i've been in higher spirits lately, lol

is it too soon to fall for somebody again after my last relationship only ended 3 months ago? idk. you can't really control at what time someone amazing shows up in your life and steals your heart. but that's why the option of taking things slow is there. anyway he's great and i'm really really happy. this is also why idk what marathons i'll be going to in 2018 yet :)

selling all that stuff helped me a ton financially. debt escape will be soon hopefully.

im gonna start resuming language lessons soon. time to stop being lazy.

i put a bag of frozen shrimp and a canister of lawrys salt in my lunchbox today rofl

bad personal stuff:

i'm still hurting over losing my best friend. it's been almost 5 months now. i miss him so much every day. i never got any closure or real understanding, so i'm doing everything i have to do to not let it consume me anymore. this means i've left some of your discords and i'm sorry about that. i just wanted my life back and to not be overwhelmed with anxiety all the time. but i'm trying harder to just focus on the friends i have who never left my side and make me feel cared about and made me keep my head above water when i wanted to sink. thank you and i'm sorry i was absent and unreliable for a long time. i feel like i took the people who care about me for granted and i'm just trying to do better.

[rapturedtoxicity]

Me: yo Me: wassup Friend: nm just bout to watch the mayweather fight Me: right Me: mcgregor or mayweather Me: ? Me: disclaimer i dont know shit abt any of that Friend: boxing match Friend: jst watching it since it will be a thing that lots of people talk about Me: fair enough Me: i am Me: extremely drunk rn Me: have been for the last 6 days Friend: lol Friend: welcome to how many people spend their early 20s Me: cheers Me: it helps deal with the pain tbh Me: dude Me: weird question maybe but Me: have you ever self harmed Friend: no but its not something that works with me Me: fair enough Me: i've been trying it Me: it kinda helps Me: for me Friend: ive done it but not directly Friend: just training slamming my fist and knees into a wall Friend: until i just ran out of energy Me: i getcha Friend: but it didnt do anything Friend: but those times i just wanted to feel anything that wasnt what i felt ever yday Friend: even if it was physical pain Friend: it was nice to feel something else Me: yeh Me: kinda where i am atm Me: been making cuts into my arm Me: to distract from the heartache Me: it helps a lot Me: surprisingly much actually Me: dont mean to be depressing, rofl Me: dont intend to make it a permanent habit or anything but Me: fuck Me: it helps Me: god damn Friend: i get you Friend: but people do it for different reasons Friend: i just want to punish myself Friend: i found other ways to do that Me: kind of on that page atm Me: punishing/relief Me: feel like i deserve it in a way Friend: for me those were 2 different things, it was nice to feel something else but essentially it got me nowhere closer to a positive end goal Friend: or so i've rationalised what im doing now to be conducive Me: yeh Friend: im sure im wrong but Me: idk if im aiming for a positive end goal atm? just kinda Friend: im far too proud, i have to do it solo Me: doing it to relieve stress in the moment Me: you get me Me: ? Me: yeh i get you Friend: a little but Friend: when i did that stuff Friend: i couldnt do anything Me: i know it's fucking stupid and all that Friend: my brain just didnt think straight Me: and i know i aint thinkin straight Me: yeh Me: but Me: it does help. Me: for me, at least Me: redirects the fucking Me: immense emotional pain into Me: slight physical pain Me: distracts me in the moment Me: only real downside atm for me is how hard it is to hide it Friend: nah thats effort Friend: showing it is fine Friend: just make sure you have a solid convo ender to observers who question it Me: i agree personally but Me: my coworkers keep telling me to cover up and shit Me: like im not looking for attention Friend: cover up? Me: im just doing my own thing when i roll up my sleeves at work and shit Friend: do your cuts etc show? Me: yeh Friend: yeh thats stupid Friend: obviously Friend: use your leg or something Friend: fuck knows why im helpng you do this Me: hahhhahahhaha Me: i actually cracked up Me: lmfao Friend: but until you realise better Friend: me saying Friend: dont do it Friend: wont achieve shit Me: agreed Friend: but you need to know you're retarded for doing it Me: heard that a bit much lately Me: just makes me feel spite Me: yeh i know it's retarded Friend: you're smart enough to suffer until you have a better answer Me: aye Me: i get it Friend: you might hate me a little for saying it Me: just dont have a better answer atm Friend: but personally i think you shouldn't be shit sad Friend: this* Me: elaborate Friend: i know its all relative obviously Friend: but tons of people would kill to have the kind of breakup you had Friend: yeh things will be a little tough but you still have someone close (at least thats what we know for now) Friend: you need to thing of all the good things Friend: and think like Friend: ok magic lamb Friend: genie magic Friend: go Friend: change your situation Me: i am Me: i've started working on myself and shit Friend: lamp* Me: am meeting ppl pretty much every day and shit Me: going out more, doing new things Me: but when i get home the rest of it takes over Friend: but would you be doing that if you knew you had no chance with her? Me: id probably Me: take a few days to just fucking sulk to be honest Friend: i mean i understand how decisions are influenced to match your S/o Me: and then try and work on it Friend: but a "change" like that needs to be genuine or its all superficial Friend: and fragile Me: no yeah like Me: ive been thinking like Me: last couple days like Me: as much as i hate that this is happening Me: maybe it's a good thing in the big picture Me: because i'd become so fucking like Me: isolated Me: i was only really meeting her Me: and chilling with her Me: never really met or did anything with friends Me: so in a way it was a wake up call Me: made me realize that i had to water the crops so i could keep on reaping them Me: still have my eyes on the prized flower ofc Me: but it kinda made me realize that she isnt the only thing thats important to me Me: shes obviously really fucking important to me but it really kind of woke me up Me: like a splash of water to the face Me: like Me: "shit i fucking. i gotta get off my ass and meet friends and shit" Friend: yeh its true Me: made me understand how important all that shit is to me kind of Friend: as you get older, you need to always make an active effort Friend: to stay on top of friends Me: yeh Me: cause i was very reliant on her in a way Me: and as much as i want that to be a thing still Me: it made me understand that i can also rely on other people Me: i can also look to other people Me: meet other people etc etc Me: i've come to understand that a lot of the things thatMe: meet other people etc etc Me: i've come to understand that a lot of the things that Me: i originally didnt like to do with her Me: or like Me: "didnt like" Me: it made me realize i was just being a shitter in my own world Me: i actually enjoy a  lot of those things Friend: thats also a tricky thing tho Friend: like feeling that a bad aspect about you needs fixing Me: just didnt understand it cause i was so stuck in my loop Me: yeh sure maybe im just saying/doing that to make myself feel better unconsciously but at least its something right Me: a different perspective Me: like Me: i find myself Me: actually wanting to go on walks Me: i find myself actually wanting to do all this shit i thought i hated doing Me: i feel more awake in a sense Me: so while i still really want her back i think ive kind of found the light at the end of the tunnel in a way Me: a different light than i was originally searching for, maybe Me: but a light nonetheless Friend: i get you Friend: a little advice is try not to mention any "changes" you have Friend: personally its just better if a person realises your changes from seeing it first hand Friend: dont be that guy who promotes himself Me: yeh cause it'll maybe make her think im trying to change for her or something Friend: yeh Me: instead of actually changing Friend: dont advertise it ever Friend: just know what you're showing and how you're acting is a result of work and mentality Friend: if it shows it shows Friend: if it doesnt then who cares Friend: you do you for you Friend: it would just be good obv if the flower gets it without any assist Me: yeah Me: for sure Me: i think Me: if we end up hanging out again and shit Me: i'm pretty sure i'm still just gonna Me: want to ask her to go out for a walk and do shit and all that Me: because i feel that desire now Me: even if i'm making cuts on my arms and drinking like a maniac Me: like i still feel like im making progress Me: even if my current ways of coping with the pain are fucking retarded Me: and im very aware of that Me: i kinda feel like i can maybe learn from being a fucking moron for a little bit though Me: understand a bit better how that is, how the perspective switches you know Friend: yeh Me: notes to be had Me: dont advertise change Me: it gives the wrong impression Me: might make her think its superficial Me: uhhhHHh Me: stop being retarded at some point obviously Friend: tbh a big thing of being in your head too much Friend: is if you're not actually busy Friend: so try and do mre Friend: in the day Friend: tire yourself out Friend: budget your time bette Friend: r Friend: dont yolo days Me: i feel like being a moron and behaving irresponsibly for a bit is ok because this is the most painful shit ive gone through ever pretty much Friend: cus then you just think about shit you dont need to Friend: cus you've nothing better to do Me: yeh Me: plan shit Me: do things Me: make plans in advance etc etc Friend: that might help Me: i feel like Me: idk if im wrong abt this Me: but Me: i think it's okay to be a moron for a bit Friend: personally Friend: i mean it makes sense Me: obviously you're the fuckin logic sensei and all that Friend: but think of dota shitters who are like Friend: im 2k so i dont need to get dust Friend: cus at that point its ignorance after the fact Me: and, again: i'm actively referring to myself as a fuckin moron so i understand that this shit is just retarded Friend: like choosing the ignorance Friend: thats cool Me: but atm it feels like it's aight Friend: but like how i avoid saying sorry Friend: if you keep calling yourself a moron Friend: that word wont mean shit Me: it'll lose meaning yeh Friend: cus your brain will just go Me: i'll just say sth else lol Friend: ive called myself that for weeks Friend: /months Me: yeh Me: i get you Me: stops meaning anything Me: idk. maybe im just not ready to like Me: take the leap Friend: yeh see thats legit to accept Friend: things like that take some time Friend: some wisdom Me: yeah Friend: so you make the call when you think you're ready Friend: some people never are ready Friend: and need the push Friend: but give yourself a chance Friend: to figure it out yourself Me: i think i will know soon enough Friend: before you get pushed Me: yeah Me: i definitely needed the push Me: the breakup was a big push tbh Me: really shoved me in the deep of it Me: like i said Me: made me understand what i value and all that Friend: yeh thats something that sucks Friend: but its kinda nice to Friend: too* Me: yeh Me: bittersweet Friend: you def feel growth once you realise what you had Friend: after you loseit Friend: yeh Friend: you'll see things a little differently now Me: yeah Me: if things take off again with her Me: i'll understand better what i want and what she wants Me: the growth is a nice feeling despite all the shittiness Me: it's some what relieving i guess Me: to understand myself a little better Me: man my coworkers were constantly telling me to cover up the cuts today Me: felt kinda bad tbh Friend: it should Me: cause im not ashamed of them really Friend: you showing other people makes it their problem Friend: because you would rightfully say Friend: hey if you're a good person Friend: and you see someone in troble Friend: you'd help Friend: so you openly showing something wrong Friend: doesnt make it just a hraug problem Me: i guess that's true Friend: so its fine not to be ashamed Friend: but do it for the others around you Me: yeah Me: that's fair Me: i feel like its kind of important that Me: like Me: im not trying to show anything Me: does that make sense like Me: im not pulling up my sleeves as a cry for help im just trying to not get them dirty while i work Me: but i obviously understnad that people seeing that shit is gonna have some effect on them one way or another Me: im just kinda like Me: obviously its not as simple as saying "it's none of your business" but that's kind of how i feel anyways Me: cuz its not something that im trying to show Me: its not something i think people should worry about Me: because i dont worry about it Me: but maybe im just being ignorant Me: or sth Me: idk Friend: yeh you are Friend: just get some bandages and perma keep em on Friend: but again its just normal sadness that you're feeling its no different to a normal breakup, you should try for a week to not to cut or stuff Friend: cus its not a smart way to deal with sadness in general Friend: especially when its nowhere near as bad as just out right being rejected due to failure or anything else Me: thats true i guess Me: idk though. i feel like that argument just goes back to like Me: children in africa and all that shit Friend: yeh dw about that just think he this is how i feel in this situation Friend: so just try and understand why you're feeling the way you're feeling Friend: that'll help you tackle how you feel Friend: and in the future it will make sense Friend: you;ll see the same signs Friend: etc etc Me: yeah Me: i suppose Me: that is true. Me: dude im so drunk lmfao i was actually considering asking you if you wanted to see my cuts Me: lmfoashdjgk Me: complete retard over here Me: god damn Me: ugh Me: i think i need to sleep maybe Friend: lol well i understand why you'd say it Friend: it wont phase me Friend: but i wont condone it Me: nah Me: i get that Friend: yeh that's smart Me: im the same w that w other people Me: condoning is not good Me: but theres a difference between condoning and like Me: accepting Me: i guess? Friend: yeh Friend: but cutting is a last resort in my head Friend: so im surprised you jumped str8 there Friend: but again we're all diferent Friend: ff* Me: i Me: tried it at first Me: because i was kinda curious Me: wondered it if it'd do anything for me Me: cause i know some people that have done it and said it helped them cope Friend: yeh it def helps nodoubt Me: and i was curious cause i havent really found anything to cope Friend: but again Friend: in my head its a last resort Me: havent had any desire to play any games in the last week Me: which is my usual coping method Me: yeh Friend: i see Me: but we're all different Me: like you said Me: i gotta stop drinking Me: rofl Friend: hah Friend: ive heard that a trillion times Friend: its shameful Me: feels bad Me: feels kinda good Me: but it feels bad Friend: lol Friend: welcome to the drunk life Me: hahahha Me: yeh Me: im learning to drink through this actually Me: learning how to pace myself Friend: absinth was a tricky one for me Friend: hate the taste Me: never had it afaik Me: did my first tequila shot tonight Friend: you'll know when you taste it Friend: you cant taste anythign Me: shit was nasty Friend: but that Friend: you could lick a hobos ass Friend: and not taste anything Friend: but absinth Me: shit Me: is it as agressive as gin? Me: gin is fucking nasty Me: like eating the bark of an orange Friend: its like Friend: gin Friend: super saiyan steroids Friend: +10 Me: ugh Me: nvm then Friend: you gta try it Friend: if you do it Friend: have like a single shot Friend: as a first drink Me: how strong is it? Friend: so you can taste it and shit Me: yeh Friend: its the strongest there is i think Friend: like 60% Friend: something stupid Me: ohhh bitch Me: that is nasty Me: aight well Me: im gonna fucking Me: sleep Me: cheers for the chat dude Me: always a pleasure Friend: likewise Friend: nn dude

[survivormuxloe]

Episode 14: “It’s Five Guys Burgers and Fries” - Mo

AAAAAA AHRRE IS GONE!!! IM IN FINAL 5!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS SO FUCKING EXCITING

its been so nervewracking this entire game holding my idol... not knowing when to play it... being a paranoid mess?? but im legit in f5. here. about to play my idol and show everyone that i had the social + strategical game to be able to NOT ONLY KEEP IT BUT FIND IT. like knowing im in f4 is so fucking validating and ik im not there yet but i'm not pulling a loris and giving myself 5th lol. and even better than that ryan has had his idol from fucking like day 2 and we've been able to keep them in this long and i love him soooooo much hes honestly one of my bestest friends nnnn

i just feel really bad bc ive acted to tobi that im his #1 for so long.. i told him about my idol.. i tricked him into voting ahrre @ 6 so that we could vote ryan at 5 knowing he has the idol like. idk if hes gunna forgive me. LOL ALNFJBFG but its just something i need to prove at ftc ):

i jus treally dont want 3rd again. i dont think i'll get 4th. i just. want a chance to showcase my game bc i'm so fucking proud of it you have no idea like.. i've been with the majority.. i've never voted wrong. ): i've had the social. i've had the strategy. i dont know what more i could possibly do to prove that this is a winning game and the most nervewracking thing is doing a live tribal where idk how the jurors are gonna react bc half of them probably hate me and i'm legit gonna put my heart and soul into speaking my game into like 5 mins and im just scared that the jurors r gonna discredit it like ya i was a cunt alkjfhbfg but i know i played one of the best games here n idk how i'd react on call liek id probably just full on leave.. alkjfnfg

idk this is just a really long confessional bc i needed to get my feelings out there lol im just rly close and itll really suck to go home so close after controllin this game

Okay, so Im here. Yay. I knew I was getting voted and others didnt want to split votes. So im happy Ahrre didnt have an idol. So im wondering now, its final 5... have there been ANY idols?. Have we just been blindsiding them all with their idols?  Like what. So I need immunity just incase everyone but me has an idol.

So I feel like I really need to win this challenge. One because its final 5 and Idols. Two because I NEED Tobi to go this round. I brought up the idea to Scott and he said ye, but the conversation quickly ended after that, which scares me tbh. Regardless if I win or not, I am still going for Tobi, I recon he has the greatest chance of winning out of this final 5, so I need him gone. He is also good at immunities which just puts more stress on me making the finale. I think there is a chance I could win against Tobi, but there is a much better chance without him there next to me. Besides this is looking like a final 2 now, which makes my chances of getting to the end, relying on winning immunity

I WON IMMUNITY WOOO. HEHEHE

uhm. so i lost immunity. again. ALNFHBG reoccurring trend...

its cute tho. me and rhys are so similar and i love him sm and i cant wait to get to the end of this game with him hehe. :*

n then me and ryan are idolling and its like :)) yay. love him as well.

feel bad 4 tobi tho rofl

It’s Five Guys Burgers and Fries and APPARENTLY, Tobi and Ryan are targeting eachother which of course I’m like screaming with excitement on the inside because I think I’m going to beat my personal record of 5th. I might even make it to final tribal council, like I know that’s a stretch but IM SO HAPPY.

it's only day 35 huh.... we really have a final 2 HUH...... anyway yay Tobi didn't win immunity so yay we can take him out <3 Scott tells me him and Mo are under the impression i'm leaving but lol they got another thing coming. Rhys is also down to take out Tobi so whew. should be a cute moment at tribal with me n scott playing our idols but we'll see hehe

So it may be a final 3 now that I think about the days idk.

Regardless Tobi needs to go this round. Hardly anyone has started to talk which would scare me, if I didn’t have immunity. If Tobi goes this round I want to take Mo to the end. I know I can beat him then I just have to worry about Scott or Ryan.

i cant wait 2 IDOL!! i sure wont be using it successfully. bc im legit getting no votes NNNNN but. the point is. i'm here 2 stay. lol.

bye bye tobi hope u dont hate me in jury x

im so excited to use my idol and blast tobi out of this game tn.... not that i need the idol to do that exactly, but i'm excited for both hehe. it's kinda weird how this game has ended up unraveling... like, everything has gone my way pretty much and it didn't require all that much effort from me?? does that mean i played poorly omg or is that just how it be sometimes? hm. i can't say i'm 100% confident my game can earn me the win but i definitely feel like i played decently? i'm kinda sad it's probably gonna end up being a final 2 bc i wanted rhys and scott at ftc with me but oh well. i'm confirmed final 4, practically guaranteed a firemaking at least bc i dont think scott will turn on me at all and i wouldnt turn on him, so wig i have really good chances of making final 3 yayyyy. i've been thinking a lot about tribal tonight and what to say when i use the idol... i wanna make it good and impactful and send a message to the jury that hypes up my game a bit hopefully. idk we'll see if my shyness allows me to be extra lfkasd

the two truly vulnerable ppl at tonight's tribal, aka Mo and Tobi, are voting together for me instead of for each other hnnnnn i have to laugh. i think scott been playing them like a fiddle and i'm lowkey hoping they both end up really bitter at him so i can maybe win their jury vote hehe. also ugh i need to rack up at least 3 more votes so i can snatch the most votes crown from Michael... it would look better on me hm. i think i can do it if those 2 really vote me tonight and unless i dont go on an immunity run which... i wouldnt hate either

at this point i really hate luck comps this late into the game... like ugh but what can i do about it... rhys winning is better than ryan winning BUT it wouldve been nicer if me/scott/mo couldve won in case ryan pulls out an idol... we have a lot less flexibility going into tribal

So like scott has been lowkey shady lately BUT idk there really isnt much i can do about it at this point if he's blindsiding me since he has an idol and rhys has immunity soooo like its tea really... i know mo is 100% on board with voting out ryan and he asked scott and scott said ryan as well BUT it could be a lie to mo to cover up a blindside on me and like its highkey annoying that scott is the flip vote this round because he has connections and whatnot but he was also down for taking out ryan and like... taking me out at this point makes no sense because ryan making it far is sooo bad for his game LKHDLKJSA like ryan has been targetted the entire merge and he's still here... bringing that to ftc is so dangerous like i went to ftc once with someone like that... did not end well LMFAOOOO but ya this vote is extremely important and i could either be thriving with this vote or I could be royally fucked

So, tribal is in 30 minuets, Its between Tobi and Ryan? Tobi hadnt approached me about voting Ryan, so it shows I was right about wanting Tobi out. However the fact that he went to Scott over me, shows that Scott is playing a good game aswell. (Or people think me and Ryan are a duo? which ive heard before).

Tobi is voted out 3-2.

[worldofsurvivortibet-blog]

EPISODE 1 (Part 2) - “I'll be sharpening my knife just in case” - Eddie

SEB

I'll be happy if I never have to see another fucking Robot Unicorn for the rest of my life...

NICHOLAS

Hey guys! So I am going to send it here so it's easier, but I already LOVE my tribe! Everyone is so sweet and easy to talk to (something that isn't always the case in these games). I am really trying to be super active and friendly and supportive towards people so that they feel like they should keep me around,,,, and i think it's working well since I got added to that fun alliance! I'm working hard for this reward challenge so I can prove my worth to all of these people on my tribe! That's about it for now! xoxoxoxo Nicholas

AMANDA

OK i have found that i hate this unicorn game. Like HATE IT.  I am so over it. everyone seems cool so far. there is some people that i am already kind of nervous  about because they just seem like they are already trying to play games and stuff. IDK but they just have me on edge but oh well. I think i am going to try to become close with them but idk i don't really want to be close with hem bc i don't trust them.

JARED

Honestly I am PISSED I was not put with Daniella or Trysten, and I’m stuck with the damn furry! But this will not bring me down, I am here to WIN and I will do whatever it takes to do that. Right now my goal is to just be social and try my best to talk to everyone, because god knows I do not want to be the first one voted out!

CHRISSA

we won that reward which is cool there's a reason i like that game, I hope we win immunity too so nervous still. I am hoping i am safe if we don't win either though. Voting if we had to, would be so hard.

ELENA

I am so happy that we won reward! I am a little bit confused about what exactly they are able to do at "the summit" but hopefully Dani and Darian will share with us when they get back! So far as tribe relations go, I haven't had a chance to speak with everyone yet, but I have made a couple of friends it seems in Seb and Darian. I hope to speak with everyone at least once before Immunity challenge is over.

DANI

I WANTED THAT GODDAMN IDOL CLUE! ME! I did! But my freaking Papa Jabari or whatever that dish was called didn't have jack SHIT! Grrrr.... I Didnt even eat that shit it tasted like acc trash! So I'm starving and now I'm stuck on a fucking mountain peak with a furry, someone who plays the victim all the time, a photographer piece of shit who I'm targeting, and a few other assclowns I haven't had the privilege of conversing with. GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW!

MATT

My lord Seamus got angry over something I called toast. I need to do that more *eyes emoji*

CHRISSA

flag challenges are ugly but I am here for it and the summit twist is cool that's all

JARED

Honestly, I’m mad.  I wanted to go to the summit because I wanted to talk to Daniella… *starts sobbing* I just feel so ALONE! It’s not fair….

TRYSTEN

I'm not going to lie. I feel defeated a little. I just feel like the weakest link, and I'm not going to be surprised if they vote me out.

KENDALL

Okay I just found out newlyf's name, it's Ally. I was right the first time, which is weird because I am usually never right at all. So chances are we are in the Matrix, sorry to shatter your fragile reality :/. Now on to more substantial things: 1. The Reward Challenge Yeah fuck that challenge man. I'm not going to lie, for the first ten minutes it was sort of fun. I like addicting things and the music was pretty good but everything went down hill and it went down hill fast. I still have the bloody song stuck in my head. :( 2. Summit Interesting concept and I like the idea of having an excuse for not being as social. Unfortunately I couldn't jump at the opportunity because that would be stupid. It would put a target on my back if I did, as the possibility of me having an idol would increase. Plus the odds of someone from my group going was very high considering we make up 4/7. And low and behold I was right. Two of the people I trust the most went to the Summit and I got to keep my hands clean. I guess this also means that the idol thing was fake which leads me to say, really guys, really? I stressed out about this.  3. The Immunity Challenge Flag making challenge, I volunteered because nobody else knew how to use photoshop and I am really good at drawing. I'm no Picasso (early Picasso, not late Picasso, I could do that shit) but I think it will work. Not to mention I hate relying on other people because people are gross and that I need to prove myself of some use. If I'm not careful, they'll catch on that I am virtually worthless in most scenarios. Like I wouldn't even be good bait for the wild animals, I taste too much like arsenic.  Anyway that's all folks, I'll be back with more scheming, paranoid ramblings and zombies. Well, maybe not those first two.   

DARIAN

SHIT HIT THE FAN kinda. I got an idol on my first try today. But it wasn't for my tribe... I know..Im sooooo lucky that I find someone else idol. So I was than told that I had 45 min to decide who I was going to give it to. Instantly I had two ideas in my head Keyonjay or Ally. Keyonjay- He clearly is decent in challenges and would be a string partner to attempt to align myself with. He has also agreed that if he finds my idol that he will give it to me. So theres a win win there for me.. maybe Ally- She did really bad in the first challenge and that honestly puts a huge target on her back because she is the easy vote. The team stays strong and no one gets butt hurt. But if she has the idol she can make a move and take out a big player EARLY... Like Keyonjay hahaha. After talking it out with keyonjay and getting his opinions and than a little self reflection I decided to give Keyonjay the idol in hopes that he could be the one to find my idol and maybe even become a strong alliance member!! Ahhhh so stressed!!!!

KEYONJAY

Okay so a couple things. I got the best score on the first challenge out of pure luck. Like just somehow I literally got to like 55k on level two when the previous times i played i couldn't get over 10k on all three levels. Unfortunately we still didn't win which fucking sucks because I didn't wanna go to the goddamn summit at all, but the other tribe chose me because i got the best score apparently. Didn't really wanna be away from my tribe for anything to change with my alliances, and really didn't wanna be put in a position that complicates my game. Ofc immediately that changes because Darian just gave me an idol. like dsfsdsf wtf. I just met the kid. It's really nice though and obviously from my last game I see that you can't abuse people's kindness like that so I'm not gonna use it against him or anything or brag and call him dumb (I'm sorry Mitchy D:) but this definitely complicates things because if I had an idol, I'd rather be the only person that knows about it and now I have to contend with the fact that this idol is basically mine AND Darian's and I have to use it in a way that benefits both of us or risk a pissed off juror. God. DONT GIVE ME IDOLS! I DONT WANT THEM! THEY COMPLICATE THINGS! He wants me to use it on Ally if my tribe loses the first immunity, but hopefully I can protect her and make that not happen regardless, or we can win, which I doubt since it's a flag challenge and I fucking suck at these.

ACE

Alright we got 2nd on the challenge which is decent. And then the next chall is a flag making competition and considering Kendall and Jared know of my abilities hopefully they can leave it up to me. I'm gonna make a wicked gif. Anyways the Summit twist is kinda cool, I got food that gave me an idol clue but it at least told me where NOT to look. I'm probably gonna stick to mountainside since random.org told me to. The Summit is Me and Keyonjay, Matt, Darian, Dani, and Johnny. I already know Dani and Matt, Darian talked with me a bit and they seem alright. They use phone emojis a lot and Im not use to seein those on my computer so its weird a bittttt! Johnny isn't online yet so idk about them just yet. Before I left Jared wanted me to talk to Keyonjay about making an alliance with them. When I heard keyonjay would be at Summit I decided to volunteer myself so I could get the question in. Keyonjay said they were ok with Jared and wanted him to join the alliance with Kendall and Nicholas... uhh no I think we just meant something between us 3 we don't need that big of an alliance even though our tribe is amazing and we'll probably barely lose anybody =') Also Kendall and I sorta already settled Jared as our possible first tribe boot so that'd just make things a bit harder maybe? WHo's even left? Ally and Amanda... that's it rofl also I don't think Ally is Mega anymore lol delete it

JOHNNY

Since joining the game, I’ve found it really difficult to legitimately communicate with people. I can’t help but think a lot of these people are dweebs, who just sit behind the computer all day blogging on tumblr and obsessing over Survivor games online I’m sure, and there’s no way I can compete with no lifes who do nothing but scratch their ballsacks all day. Any who, I do kinda know Dani, who is in the Summit with me right now, and i recognize Jared from a few other games I’ve played, but I’ve yet to approach him yet about the game, but I’m glad I have that in my back pocket. I’ve really gotta start forming some bonds with people, because the conversations I’m having with most of these people are not strong, and I wouldn’t be surprised if these try hard motherfuckers already have a majority alliance, but all I can do is contribute in challenges and hope for the best since my social game isn’t going to be too strong this early on. I’ve made a bond with Crimson on my team because we have a mutual friend, so hopefully that can take me a long way for now. My plan is to just bond with Matt since he’s the only one from my tribe I can talk to, maybe strike a deal, let him think he can do anything with me in this game, when tbh I’ll probably slit his neck soon enough anyways

tbh I get the very scary feeling that a lot of people know each other in this game, and I honestly don’t have anyone in this game that I can truly rely on like some do, and I’m never going to know who is friends with who. Now I know what it feels like to kinda be a newb in the games I play when I just target the people I don’t know… Guess I’m getting a taste of my own medicine here

DANI

Darian is getting on my nerves so badly. Like ugh, shut up for like two seconds nobody cares if you're a photographer. 

So Darian's dumbass comes up to me saying Carson/Julia have an idol in the game. Do I believe him? Yeah. Do I not wanna believe him? Yeah... But that's just how the game works. Oh how I wish I had that idol... *licks lips* Oh the things I would do to it... Grrr....

CARSON

Ok so I'm pretty sure Darian just exposed that he has the idol by trying to give me a fake clue. On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Darian Goggin wrote: > I got a clue to an idol On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Darian Goggin wrote: > It wasn't much but it's something On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Carson (albania host) wrote: > omg On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Darian Goggin wrote: > Don't search the Forrest On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Darian Goggin wrote: > Or the mountainside On 1/4/17, at 7:27 PM, Carson (albania host) wrote: > I guess that can be kind of helpful lol So apparently you get clues to the idol at the Summit. Hell, there could even be an idol at the Summit. But regardless he got a clue... but he should have quoted it if it was real. Plus I went to the mountainside already and got THIS: On 1/3/17, at 9:24 PM, carson (tibet host) wrote: > You come to the spot where an idol looks to have been hidden, but there's nothing here! https://media.tenor.co/images/fb3f2d1e814190100a4ae401b1660d5b/tenor.gif He told me not to go to the mountainside because he already went there and got it and he didn't want me to find out its gone! And I guess its safe to say he's working with Dani now, who I also wanted to work with. I would go to her about it, but idk if she'd leak to Darian that I'm onto him. Right now, I'm just going to lay low with this until I need to use it. It sounds to me like Dani, Seb and Elena already know each other, and if Darian goes with them, they'll have majority. I wanted to work with Julia (and by extension Chrissa), but idk if it'll work out. Once again, I don't want to pry at all because no one really has a target yet. There isn't an easy first boot, so one slip up could cost me the game. OK THE PLOT JUST THICKENED Apparently, the Namtso idol is gone... which means all the tribes are searching the same area. So maybe Darian doesn't have it... but he could be protecting someone that does. I mean he's probably in cahoots with the ppl at the summit, And we can find the other tribe's idols. I'm so fucking shook.

JULIA RAE

ok so right now i dont know what im doing bc i dont really play survivor ,,, but i think im doing alright. i talked to everyone and i rly like carson and darian but that just my opinion! also darian told me that he'd be willing to get rid of seb if it came down to it ,,,, which is ok with me idk that dude and he kinda weird ngl! hopefully we win immunity bc if we dont idk what to do!! hehe love survivor!!

TRYSTEN

Holy Shit! I fucking did not expect us to get first, but thank yoouuu Johnny! *blows a kiss to the camera* moi!

CHRISSA

I am so glad we are not going to tribal, fuck the people who said those things lol just kidding it's their opinion honestly we just don't know who will judge and what they will like. it sucks.

DANI

I feel good I feel nice I've never felt so Satisfied I'm in love I'm alive Intoxicated Flying high It feels like a dream When you touch me tenderly I don't know if it's real But I like the way I feel Inside

DARIAN

Yasss we won immunity! No tribal! Which is great because no one really is on the outs rn so no one can really be an easy vote and that's scary! But I don't have to worry about that so yay!

KEYONJAY

So we lost the first immunity challenge and this really sucks, but luckily I'm in the majority alliance and then we kinda have Jared as an extra number even though he's not really IN the alliance or the alliance chat. I still have my idol that nobody knows about so I could make some kind of move if I wanted. Darian wanted me to use it to "take out a power-player" but I'm like, not gonna do that. It's WAY too early to make a big move like that and it would be completely illogical and senseless. It's better to just go with the numbers right now and not rock the boat. Plus I don't really see anyone on our tribe as a power-player necessarily. Kendall is definitely the leader of our alliance but I wanted it that way so I can continue flying UTR and focus on my social game. Now to see who will be the first to go from our tribe. :( Sucks because I really like everybody.

MATT

Well damn. Johnny is actually the MVP for this one. We can literally just relax and pretend like we give a shit about who's leaving only because it's none of us lmao.

ACE

I'm sad we lost, I like everybody on this tribe. I don't feel like bringing Jared down just yet, I brought up that Ally had the lowest score on the Reward challenge so we could possibly just go with her. Everyone in the Mofos alliance said they wanna keep me and Kendall for doing good work in the challenge but we'll see about that. I think I'm good with mostly everybody except for Amanda and Ally. I just spoke to Amanda and she said she'll vote Ally bc they haven't spoken at allll. Amanda doesn't seem to be in any alliance whatsoever. Kendall is a strong leader in the Mofos and I like that she's more leading than I am even tho I'm the one who suggested Ally. Hopefully that'll keep the target more on her than me later on in the game. Kendall just told me Keyonjay gave her an idol clue and it's the same one I got. So that didn't help any. I guess I gotta continue filling up that mountainside grid.

ELENA

I am so happy that we aren't going to Tribal Council because I really like everyone on our tribe right now! It will be sad if we lose any time soon because they are all just very nice and interesting people. I am so greatful for Carson for doing the most of the work on the flag, I do wish he had somehow incorporated the Yaks since I did the research on Tibet, it felt like my idea was ignored a little bit. But what matters the most is that it was a very good outcome! I can't wait for the next challenge!!

KENDALL

Welp, I might have fucked myself. Why did I volunteer? Why did I think that combining two mediums is a good idea? Dear lord, what have I done? Well anyway, here's a quick recap: Ace and Keyonjay went to the summit and when they came back Keyonjay told me he had an idol clue. He gave it to me because he really didn't want an idol, apparently they are more trouble than there worth. Ace didn't tell me anything about the summit and only talked about making the flag. She only brought it up when I revealed my idol clue. This proves to me that my loyalties should lie more with Keyonjay than Ace. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway after we lost the challenge I typed in the alliance chat "well at least we know it's either me or Ace". I meant it as a joke but they freaked out and thought I was pulling a Zane. I managed to clear up the misconception but I am still not sure if they still doubt me. In order to repair some sort of relationship with her, I showed Ace the idol clue which was the same clue she got. And now I'm nervous maybe she will show receipts of the conversation to Keyonjay and shift the target on to me. It wouldn't be too difficult, I'm a bit of an unusual person to talk to and I mostly hogged the challenge that we failed. Though chances are I'm being irrational so I'm not going to risk it. If I do start panicking and try to get my alliance mates out, I'll end up putting the target on my back that I've been trying to avoid. God I hate feeling fear, it's very gross. Well, all feelings are gross... it's just this one is inconveniencing me the most currently.