#also ign? with their 9/10 .....get the fuck out of here

[miyku]

[kumkaniudaku]

Understanding

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17

Recommended Listening: Understanding x Xscape, Purple Emoji (ft. J. Cole) x Ty Dolla $ign, My World x Asian

Word Count: 2,137 

If you were going to win an award that afternoon, it’d be for attire, not confidence. Your expertly crafted golf outfit was the only thing willing your feet forward once you parked your car in front of Senior’s golf course.

Black women and men dressed like modern Jet magazine ads waltzed in and out of the clubhouse while you scanned the area for your party. You’d been to your fair share of golf courses, but none as exquisite as The National. Marble accents complemented modern brass finishes and unbeatable views of the city. The desire to take photos for your father was almost too much to shake, but you managed to play it cool. Acting out of place was surely some type of faux pas for the wealthy.

Across the way, Senior sat at the bar sipping a glass of water while thumbing through a newspaper. His furrowed brow was identical to Yahya’s whenever he was knee-deep in work or a good book. The mental comparison made you smile before ushering in a tinge of sadness. For two people so undeniably similar, they were miles apart physically and mentally.

You navigated through groups of young and old alike on the way to the bar.

“You made it on time,” Senior spoke without looking up from a story on education budget cuts.

“I made it with time to spare.”

“You don’t get praise for doing what’s right.”

“Think of how much better things would be if we did.”

Senior paused his reading to take a deep breath and shake his head. You mentally berated yourself for overstepping so soon. Not even five minutes into the outing and you had already committed an avoidable infraction

Yahya I prolonged the unbearable silence as he continued to read through another article, reading each line painstakingly slow while you watched in agony.

“I apologize. That was unnecessary.”

“I’ll ask you again,” he spoke, finally looking away from the newspaper to study your face. “Let’s leave the character right here. We’re here for a purpose, so grab your clubs and follow me to the first hole. I hope your game is as good as you are at running your mouth.” Taking his retort in stride, you quickly grabbed your set of clubs and followed with no objections. “After you.”

Senior found himself immediately impressed though he wouldn’t verbalize his feelings. He watched you breeze through each hole with near expert precision, opening a series of questions at hole 5 during casual small talk.

“Where’d you say you were from again?”

“A tiny town in South Carolina that you probably wouldn’t know.”

“Try me,” he answered while taking stock of his position on the fairway.

“Anderson, South Carolina. Home of Larry Nance and the great Chadwick Boseman.”

“Can’t forget James Kennedy, Young Lady.”

You cocked your head back in surprise. “What you know about Radio? I mean outside of what the movie says?”

Senior remained quiet long enough to take a hard swing. The loud “whiff” of his driver slicing through crisp, clean air didn’t match the stroke’s output. Both of you watch the golf ball sail high into the air before making a landing well short of the intended destination. Senior shook his head at the miscalculation before turning to answer your question.

“Black folks from all over are connected, even without all that Snapgram and Facebook foolishness.”

“I could argue it’s helped, right? How else would you be able to share your granddaughter’s first steps with the whole family?”

“In photo albums. You might not remember those, but they did us just fine.”

“Yeah, but it’s instantaneous conversation and information. Who wouldn’t want that?”

“Maybe instantaneous conversation is the problem. We aren’t making enough time to stop and really think about what we’re saying to each other.”

“Mm.” You let the conversation naturally taper before following Senior to his golf cart. The rolling hills provided enough scenery to keep you interested while you sorted the words in your head.

“I think we may have started off on the wrong foot.” You spoke once the cart came to a full stop. Senior trailed behind in silence, gathering a new club while watching you examine the other golfers in the area.

“You’re rather observant.”

You chuckled and plucked a club from your bag. “I’ve been told. Yahya calls me Eagle Eye when I catch something he’s already talked about ten minutes ago.”

“It’s what his Big Mama used to call his Pop-Pop for the same thing. That man was notoriously late to the punchline.” The nostalgia in Yahya I’s voice caught you off guard though he didn’t see your minor fumble. Something in his retelling appealed to your sense of compassion in a way that you considered long gone when it came to him.

“Let’s not beat around the bush. You have an issue with my presence that we should discuss. Because I can assure you, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Bold,” Senior responded with a sarcastic laugh. He gestured to nothing in particular as you squared up to take a swing and nodded. “And direct. Continue.”

You took a moment to hit a line drive toward the green in the distance, using the movement as an outlet for the unexpected nerves churning your stomach. Both of you quietly watch the golf ball for its final resting place before you turned to speak.

“You are extremely hard to please, and it is literally ruining your family. Yahya does everything in his power, and, excuse my French, you don’t seem to give a fuck. Why is that?”

“What makes you think that my love isn’t what makes me push him to be the best that he can? It may not be the fluff and frills you’re used to in your home, but it’s what he needs to get him to his potential.”

“Did it help you?”

Senior mistakenly allowed a quick moment of confusion to take over his features. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

“You tell me. When’s the last time you enjoyed a laugh with your family or felt like you could just...be? You’re carrying a weight that is crushing the people around you, and you don’t even see it.”

“You don’t…” Senior caught his words and bottled them behind his lips. He took a deep breath as he approached his golf ball and took a half-hearted swing. Noticing his misstep, he shook his head. “I’m from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. My father, Yahya’s Pop-Pop, moved my mother and me to a shotgun shack to find work when things weren’t quite shaking out back home. He was in and out of trouble and such. Couldn’t get right, but he had a natural knack for building and design.”

A nearby group of golfers erupted into laughter, helping to break up some tension.

“So architecture’s been in the family for a while,” you asked. Yahya I curled the corner of his lips into a far-off smile.

“A long, long time. It got us out of that shack when my siblings came along and into a house with our own rooms and a backyard. But, my father was a hard man. Hard to please, you know,” he laughed, making a reference to your earlier words. “He wanted the best from me, and he made damn sure he got it. I needed that to get my head out of the clouds.”

“You also needed some reassurance.”

“Perhaps. But, what’s done is done. I look at what I’ve built with no complaints, especially when it comes to my boys. I couldn’t be more proud of the men they’ve become.”

Senior’s proud smile almost looked foreign on his face. You’d never seen more than an indifferent expression or the slight twinge of anger smoldering behind his eyes.

Leaning on your club, you kept your eyes forward to gaze out over the course.

“Yahya would love to hear that. I don’t know if you know this, but he is desperately searching for your approval. There is not enough praise from me or anyone else that could replace knowing that you’re proud of him. Yet, as much as he would like to tell you these things himself, he’s afraid that you’ll think less of him for being vulnerable.”

“I could never think less of the boy. Tough love is still love.”

“Maybe for you,” you added, shrugging. “But, what good is continuing this cycle if it’s hurting the children you claim to love and the grandchildren after them?”

Senior dropped his head in thought before looking up with an unreadable expression. “Deuce will be fine. He’s all the best parts of his mother. I...I’m confident he’ll figure out fatherhood on his own despite my shortcomings. We raised him well.”

“Forgive me if I’m overstepping -”

“That has never stopped you before, young lady.” His light-hearted chuckle invited you to follow suit.

“Fair point,” you laughed. “So, let me cut to the chase. Allowing Yahya to just ‘figure things out’ is a passive existence. Yahya says you’re constantly reminding him to take things into his own hands. Sounds like you should take your own advice. Be the parts of your father that you needed at 33.”

Instead of acknowledging your advice, Senior twirled his club in his hand on the way to the golf cart. He maintained an impenetrable poker face that even the most skilled readers couldn’t interpret. You silently hoped that at least some of your words had made it through his thick skull, but you chose to let the discussion meet a natural end.

As he started the cart, Senior turned to you and smiled. “How the hell you learn to swing like that? I know it wasn’t in Anderson.”

“Hey, we play a little golf here and there!”

“Where? Out in the woods?”

“No, out in the Bayou like you did.”

A small smirk crept across your face as Yahya I chuckled at your joke. He sounded identical to Yahya, full of mirth and beautiful melodies.

“The ole Bayou,” he repeated in a thick accent. “You ain’t seen a place more beautiful in your life.”

“Maybe Yahya and I could visit one day.”

He quickly looked over and shrugged. “Maybe. For now, you focus on defending this lead. I think I’m getting back into my rhythm.”

Senior couldn’t make a convincing comeback, but he did show glimpses of a softer, more personable disposition. He cracked jokes on occasion and asked questions that turned the conversation from a therapy session to banter between associates. Your mind traveled to the possibility of civil family dinners or vacations during the ride home. Though it seemed silly to create imaginary scenarios after one conversation, you couldn’t help the urge to see a better future.

Your happiness helped you float into your shared apartment, making Yahya smile when he caught a glimpse of your wide grin and short skirt.

“Damn, girl,” he hollered from the couch with Leche cradled in his arms. “If Tiger was out there cheeked up like that, I might’ve paid a little more attention to the golf network.”

“Oh, really?”

Your raised eyebrow made Yahya kiss his teeth once he caught on to the joke. “You know what I meant. Where you been anyway?”

“Oh, I was just out doing a little golfing...with your dad.”

“Right. That was today, huh?”

Even Yahya’s best attempt at feigning interest, his question came out in a flat drone typically used on annoying coworkers. You dropped your purse and keys against a nearby barstool on the way to his spot on the couch.

“It was today. I think we had a good time,” you answered as you slid your arms around his neck from behind, placing a gentle kiss behind his ear. “He didn’t yell at me.”

“You must’ve kissed his ass the entire time.”

“No. We talked about how great I am at golf. I mean, I kicked his ass.”

“Good on you, baby girl. Bring honor to our house.” In a surprise maneuver, Yahya pulled you over the couch and into the space beside him. “Is that all?”

Silence blanketed the room, allowing the college basketball game in the background to have center stage. You considered your options carefully, weighing the pros of a potential argument against a peaceful Saturday indoors. Yahya turned his attention back to the television as he waited for a response.

“Did you hear me, baby? He didn’t say anything rude to you, did he?”

“No!” You blurted. Taking a deep breath, you slowly slid the remote off the coffee table and pressed the power button. Yahya blinked twice at his reflection on the black television screen before turning to you for answers. Your fingers danced across his thighs to interlock with his long digits.

“I think...I think we need to have a real talk about your dad.”

----

A/N: I hope this is better late than never. Only two more chapters left! Really striving to have those to y’all by the end of the month.

Let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged!

@earthformelanin @mufasathatniggatho @hidden-treasures21@justanotherloveaffair @jozigrrl @essaysbyciara @chaneajoyyy@determinednot2fall @honey-lamb-k @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @walkrightuptothesun @ghostfacekill-monger @trillistb@shaekingshitup @purplehairgawdess @xo-goldengirl@steampunkprincess147 @twistedcharismaaa @fandomfavesss@bugngiz @lifelover4u @ljstraightnochaser @l-auteuse @itsjustyazz@energy-innerg @lahuttor @sagittariusroyalty@chrisgalore @grandadchadwick​ @blowmymbackout​@supersizemeplz​ @just-peachee​ @itskikilove​ @eyeknowmywrites​ @aanairb​ @blackburnbook​ @leahnicole1219​ @lovedersha​ @cant-decide-at-this-moment​ @jasmindaughteroftheworld​

[inyoursheets]

was tagged by three super stars ok im crying, thank you @bourbon-ontherocks @riosnecktattoo @jazillia007

spell out your url using song titles, then tag as many people as there are letters in your url

fair warning i did not wanna dig deep for this so you’re getting a playlist made exclusively out of bad bunny and maluma songs

Ignorantes - Bad Bunny, Sech

No Se Me Quita - Maluma, Ricky Martin

Yo Perreo Sola - Bad Bunny

Ojos Que No Ven - Maluma

UN PESO - J Balvin, Bad Bunny, Marciano Cantero

RLNDT - Bad Bunny

Si Veo a Tu Mamá - Bad Bunny

Hablamos Mañana - Bad Bunny, Duki, Pablo Chill-E  

El Préstamo - Maluma

El Clavo - Prince Royce, Maluma

Tu Vecina - Maluma, Ty Dolla $ign

Soliá - Bad Bunny

10 Mid-Depth Questions

1. What is your favourite word? it’s not particularly pretty, but -- gunnen. it’s a dutch verb that ive discovered really doesn’t translate to english well, but i use it a lot, also in conversations w/ my best friend who doesn’t speak dutch, but it means something like... wishing something for someone? wanting something for someone? idk how to explain it. but it’s an important... concept for me i guess? especially when im talking to/about someone I love. e.g. i want/wish for my little sister that she makes some good new friends. ik gun het haar van harte. 2. What is your least favourite word? i can think of a number of slurs here. 3. What turns you on? my boundaries respected, open communication, voices such as carlos aviles’, as ive let him know and he is now aware of 4. What turns you off? being fetishized  5. What sound or noise do you love? the little giggly noise my best friend makes when she’s feeling shy when receiving a compliment 6. What sound or noise do you hate? the sound of my cat yelling me awake every morning -- once, notably, at 6am 7. What’s your favourite curse word? fuck? 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? acting? 9. What profession would you not like to do? the list is long. 10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive at the pearly gates? welcome home, [insert name only God knows]

im supposed to be tagging 12 people but im late to the party so i know im probably double tagging so im interpreting 12 as 1 + 2, so: @mego42 @mrslackles and @missmaxime im sticking with the ms 

[rosesisupposes]

Another Goddamn Hero Story

The Story Playlist

[This is mostly for @hawthornshadow but I hope y’all appreciate it too]

Prologue: Setting a Feel 

Did you know all the boys will be broken and ‘freaks’? Nice cool come join the circus (also I love this song): The Greatest Show - Panic! at the Disco

Chapter 1: Midnight Marauders

Chapter Title, also inspiration for Roman’s name, i still can’t think of anything else listening to this song: Dancing’s Not A Crime - Panic! at the Disco

Roman and Patton trying to outlive their pasts, and their staggering lack of self-preservation: Immortals - Fall Out Boy

Roman’s view - he believes/insists he’s past forgiveness by choice: Outlaws - Green Day

Patton to Roman, but in much more of a Might Kill Your Dad Type kinda way: bad guy - Billie Eilish

Bonus: how i decided where Roman & Pat’s home was located, and ref to their mutual codependence: Overpass - Panic! at the Disco

Chapter 2: Best of Us

Chapter Title, I picked ‘the best of us’ for this one meeting the Drs Lancaster for the first time on purpose, too :)))): This is Gospel - Panic! at the Disco

Boyos intro: Heroes - Måns Zelmerlöw [from Eurovision 2015]

...if there was a song that perfectly encapsulated Captain America’s Ass it would be here, for Virgil, i don’t have one though, RIP me

Chapter 3: Only Gold Is Hot Enough

Roman losing his mom: Pray for Me - The Weeknd with Kendrick Lamar

Roman alone: Holiday/Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

Repeating phrase through the chapter, if you didn’t notice: Hey Look Ma, I Made It - Panic! at the Disco

Inspiration of his costume, as Prince into Marauder, actually this inspired most of his character visuals and worldview: (Fuck a) Silver Lining - Panic! at the Disco

Roman moving on into the world as a villain, embracing his own ‘dark’: Scared of the Dark - Lil Wayne, Ty Dolla $ign, XXXTENACION [from Into the Spider-Verse]

Chapter 4: Every Tainted Soul

Chapter Title, ref to the beginnings of feelings the boys have across the hero/villain divide: Girl That You Love - Panic! at the Disco

Idk man i just get the best villain vibes from this one, something about the ‘celebration’ but also they’re “like washed-up celebrities”: Victorious - Panic! at the Disco

Fight Themes: Save the World - Swedish House Mafia

Chapter 5: Watch Them Run

Arrest of the villains: You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison - My Chemical Romance

Remy vibes: Bubblegum Bitch - MARINA

Remy vibes and direct quote: you should see me in a crown - Billie Eilish

Remy inspiration as a villain (see what’s mine & take it) Also, inspiration of Thomas’ origin: “heroes always get remembered but you know legends never die”: Emperor’s New Clothes - Panic! at the Disco

Chapter 6: Fear of Falling Apart

Theme for both Roman and Pat, particularly Collateral Damage: United States of Eurasia (+ Collateral Damage) - Muse

Title, particularly from the ending where the 3 layers oversect: This is Gospel (Triple Layered) - Panic! at the Disco

Patton’s heartbreak: Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day

The most Patton song there is (”there’s no sunshine...Only black days and sky grey, And clouds full of fear, And storms full of sorrow): Impossible Year - Panic! at the Disco

Patton’s attack: Fury - Muse

Chapter 7: A Whisper in the Dark

Title, inspiration for Agent Whisper’s name: Whispers in the Dark - Skillet

How AW’s powers work, but all types of love apply (and ref to how his powers came to be): House of Memories - Panic! at the Disco

I just really liked the energy of this for the fights: Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

Meeting the Big Bad, decision for the villains to work with ‘the enemy’: Know Your Enemy - Green Day

Chapter 8: To Dust or to Gold

Best energy of how the heroes feel trying to fight AW: Elevate - DJ Khalid, Denzel Curry, YBN Cordae, SwaVay, Trevor Rich  [from Into the Spider-Verse]

Title, and the fact that AW works through bringing back repressed memories (‘you will remember me’): Centuries - Fall Out Boy

Villains’ feeling that none of this is for some glorious cause, it’s just violence, pure and simple: Animals - Muse

First chapter of hanging out with Villains for the Weekend: Vegas Lights - Panic! at the Disco

AW’s theme with ref to his true identity (bet you didn’t know he was dangerous): Dangerous - Big Data feat. Joywave

Inspiration for what Roman’s bad days are called, and ref to attack on Roamn: Blackout Days - Phantogram

Villain Vibes for AW: Radioactive - Pentatonix and Lindsey Sterling

Chapter 9: Dark Side of Hope

A nice dump of songs used here & throughout the story for combat vibes:  Peacemaker - Green Day,  Get Up and Fight - Muse,  Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin,  Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back - My Chemical Romance

How the heroes & villains feel as they realize they like each other (you’re gonna be the death of me): Collar Full - Panic! at the Disco

Title (“it’s the dark side of hope/where believers concede”), also insp for Logan’s transition across the story, from black-and-white thinking (yes, like his costume & goggles) to understanding the grey areas: Old Fashioned - Panic! at the Disco

Hospital scenes, both in present and Virgil’s flashback: Soon You’ll Get Better - Taylor Swift, Dixie Chicks

Patton’s constant mood, but also Virgil’s and his moms’: Familia - Nicki Minaj, Anuel AA, Bantu [from Into the Spider-Verse]

Chapter 10: Pray for the Wicked

Hehehe mood ref and slight mislead here to Thomas’ origins/true nature of his powers: The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy

Patton’s reluctance, still, to being a ‘true’ hero, esp if Roman doesn’t survive: Superhero - Falling in Reverse

Fight Vibes, and yet another reference to memory: Remember the Name - Fort Minor feat. Styles of Beyond

The team going to fight AW one last time: What’s Up Danger - Blackway, Black Caviar [from Into the Spider-Verse]

Title, also the fight from the music video was a huge inspiration for all the combat in this story: Say Amen - Panic! at the Disco

Ref to AW’s power and how it pulls out memories/trauma: My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark - Fall Out Boy

Chapter 11: Fall to Rise

Thomas’ recovery: I Wanna Get Better - Bleachers

Title, ref to the reform(s): King of the Clouds - Panic! at the Disco

Ending the fight, Roman and Patton realizing they can stop fighting, finally; in contrast to the Lancasters recognizing the wrong people as the enemy, with pipe dreams of ending the fight, rather than giving it up: 21 Guns - Green Day [from the American Idiot musical]

The Lancasters’ plan: Unnatural Selection - Muse

Fighting the idea that powers can or should be controlled, aka Virgil All But Punches Logan’s Mom: Resistance - Muse

Chapter 12: Lay Us Down

They still can’t and won’t forget, and that hurts as much as it’s a power or an honor: Centuries [Cello/Piano Cover] - Brooklyn Duo

Title, and the love that they’re finding ‘in these coming years’ with the boys, with their family, with the foster home: End of All Things - Panic! at the Disco

The team together, accepting their traumas and working on them together, and Thomas believing that he still has some good to offer despite his scars and bruises: This Is Me - Kesha

[wherethewindtakesher]

actually all qs cuz I wanna get to know u :) boink!

OF COURSE BOINK ANON!

I will be excluding the ones Ive done (:

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Wine glasses/water bottles c:

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Bubblegum! im not really a big fan of cotton candy tbh.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? for some reason, soda from plastic cups hit different 😞

7. earbuds or headphones? headphones in the winter, earbuds in the summer.

9. favorite smell in the summer? the smell of my oncoming de- the smell of flowers blooming.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? it depends, some mornings I skip breakfast all together, others i’ll have a light snack, or I just have some cereal or make an egg.

12. name of your favorite playlist? ‘Recently added’

13. lanyard or key ring? landyard so I can find my keys easily. I still lose it tho-

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? spicy or sour candies are dope a f.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? The first book I read that I actually enjoyed was twilight.

16. most comfortable position to sit in? with my legs w I d e open because I cant sit properly.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? my tan/floral converses.

18. ideal weather? cloudy, cold, and raining 😌.

19. sleeping position? on my stomach, leg raised to my abdomen while the other is in the open air, and hands underneath my pillow. the BEST.

21. obsession from childhood? picking my scabs-

22. role model? my mom and sisters.

24. favorite crystal? garnet. It’s also my birthstone! I have it as a gem for my class ring.

25. first song you remember hearing? “bidi bidi mom mom” by selena quintanilla.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? if it’s not scorching hot, go on walks.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? snuggle up in a blanket and watch movies.

28. five songs to describe you? ‘humble’ kendrick lamar, ‘cry baby’ melanie martinez, ‘stupid’ ashnikko, ‘paparazzi’ lady gaga, ‘or nah’ ty dollar $ign.

29. best way to bond with you? send me M E M E S-

30. places that you find sacred? my bed.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? ripped jeans, boots, a crop top, and a jacket.

33. most used phrase in your phone? fuck.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? that empire carpet wash commercial.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? DAT BOI.

37. suitcase or duffel bag? duffel bag.

38. lemonade or tea? how about both of them combined 😉.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? I hate pie 🙊

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? someone brought a gun and it fell out of their backpack during 2nd period.

41. last person you texted? @caws5749

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? pants pockets. BUT THE DEEP ONES NOT THOSE SMALL FUCKING ONES.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodies or a bomber jacket.

44. favorite scent for soap? Lavender.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? superhero!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? naked-

47. favorite type of cheese? queso fresco.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? mango.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? “im a bad bitch you cant kill me”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? anytime my friends and I joke around.

51. current stresses? school, personal issues, and my NEW JOB THATS RIGHT YALL YO GIRL EMPLOYED.

52. favorite font? calibri.

53. what is the current state of your hands? kinda rough but smooth.

54. what did you learn from your first job? that people fucking suck.

55. favorite fairy tale? little red riding hood.

56. favorite tradition? eating tamales during christmas time.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? that im not perfect, my flaws are just as beautiful as my perfections, and that im just ug-

58. four talents you’re proud of having? im not talented aT ALL. uh...

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? ‘let’s fuck ‘em up’

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? sasuke from naruto or mey-rin from kuroshitsuji.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? “see you in a minute”

62. seven characters you relate to? natasha, cristina yang, dexter, ford, thor, scott lang, and tony.

63. five songs that would play in your club? ‘bodak yellow’, ‘man of the year’, ‘rockstar’, ‘bickenhead’, ‘slumber party’.

64. favorite website from your childhood? I forgot the name but it was that educational site with the orange robot and human.

65. any permanent scars? my entire body is riddled in scars no joke.

66. favorite flower(s)? hibiscus and roses.

67. good luck charms? my dog’s name tag.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? onions-

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? that cracking your joints won't give you arthritis.

70. left or right handed? im mixed handed but I do the majority of stuff with my right.

71. least favorite pattern? plaid.

72. worst subject? MATH FJSKSJKFSJS I HATE IT.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? have yall tried chocolate milk with chicken nuggets-

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 8-9 because I tend to fight back and not admit there is something wrong going on 😬.

75. when did you lose your first tooth? 2nd grade I believe.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? for some reason my love of tater tots has come back.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? uh cacti?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? coffee from a gas station cus im not trying to die-

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? oh man, I look like shit in both of them. School id.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? earth tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? ive never seen either 😔.

82. pc or console? i’ve own consoles for most of my life.

83. writing or drawing? writing. I cant draw very well.

84. podcasts or talk radio? podcasts! I listen to ‘last podcast on the left’.

84. barbie or polly pocket? barbies! did anyone make their barbies have sex or was it just me-?

85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology. yall don't know this but I have fallen into the greek mythology rabbit hole-

86. cookies or cupcakes? I fuck heavy with cupcakes TILL THIS DAY.

87. your greatest fear? to see those I love die.

88. your greatest wish? to be happy.

89. who would you put before everyone else? myself.

90. luckiest mistake? guessing on a question and getting it right 😎.

91. boxes or bags? i’ll go with boxes. it makes everything easier to stack and organize.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? fairy lights are so pretty.

93. nicknames? clown by @caws5749, bottom by @domromanoff, and variations of my real name.

94. favorite season? fall/winter TIMEEEEE.

95. favorite app on your phone? mario kart. if anyone wants to be friends give me your friend code-

96. desktop background? it’s black with a colorful smoke cloud exploding.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? mine and my oldest sister’s because she has had that same number since I was in the WOMB.

98. favorite historical era? I would say the WWII era since ive studied more about it than any other era.

UPDATE; this would've been done last night but my screen decided to just crash and not save anything I had done and my girl sent my ass to bed so I couldn't finish it but here ya go boink!

[thirstinmore-blog]

Best Albums of 2018

BEST ALBUMS 2018

20. Noname: Room 25

19. Jeremih & Ty Dolla $ign: Mih-Ty

18. Tierra Whack: Whack World

17. Parks Burton: Pare

16. Oneohtrix Point Never: Age Of

15. Angelique Kidjo: Remain in Light

14. Shannon Shaw: Shannon in Nashville

13. Curren$y & Freddie Gibbs: Fetti

12. Ariana Grande: Sweetener

11. Vince Staples: FM!

10. DJ Koze: Knock Knock

9. Mariah Carey: Caution

8. Courtney Barnett: Tell Me How You Really Feel

7. The Carters: Everything is Love

6. Snail Mail: Lush

5. Shannon & the Clams: Onion

4. Teyana Taylor: K.T.S.E.

3. Kacey Musgraves: Golden Hour

2. Blood Orange: Negro Swan

1. Dirty Projectors: Lamp Lit Prose

(Spotify playlist)

(Capsule reviews of Top 10 below) 

10. DJ Koze: Knock Knock.  The music writing trope of “a sounds like b + c” is as lazy as it is played, but sometimes you hear a record and those type of comparisons spring to mind, like when I first heard Saint Pepsi’s Hit Vibes and instantly thought of J Dilla making a disco record.  That was also my response to Knock Knock, which sounds like the Avalanches making a more patient update of Since I Left You for 2018 ears.  The record is long and lush, and draws from roughly nine billion different aesthetics, but its particular mélange still manages to sound fresh.  As with SILY, the album is best experienced as a complete piece of music (though several tracks, such as “Lord Knows” and “Scratch That” would sound great in a mix or DJ set).  Knock Knock takes the listener through ambling pathways that wrap around and revisit each other, like an evening stroll through the spacious Joshua Tree National Park depicted on its cover.  It’s nearly a two-hour journey, but it’s well worth the price of admission.

9. Mariah Carey: Caution.  Mariah got a dirty mouth and I’m here for it.  As mother, a twice-divorcée, a woman nearing 50, her work and her image are all her own; if she wants to include the word “fuck” in a bunch of songs on her new album (“GTFO,” “With You,” “The Distance”), then who the fuck are we to tell her no?   It’s a refreshing twist from someone whose public persona is often so curated, but I’m burying the lede.  The real story here is that Caution is a batch of excellent R&B songs from one of the genre’s all-time greats.  It’s not overwrought – by contrast, the album’s sultry blue cover art is indicative of the moods within.  The Ty Dolla $ign-featuring “The Distance” is laid extremely deep in the cut, assisted by some subtle production from Poo Bear, Lido and—holy shit, Skrillex?  Yup, and like Mariah herself, everyone involved uses an even hand and measured patience to let each song breathe.  

A personal highlight for me is “A No No,” which flips the Lil Kim/Lil Cease classic “Crush On You” on its head.  Here, where Biggie intones “he’s a slut, he’s a hoe, he’s a freak/got a different girl every day of the week,” there is no irony intended.  She gauges her suitors’ intent and responds simply: “that’s a no-no.”  In fact, the word “no” accounts for easily half the song’s lyrics, but it’s still a blast on subsequent listens.  But don’t get it twisted – highlights abound herein, from aforementioned singles “GTFO” and “The Distance” to the thoughtful, expansive, Dev Hynes-helmed “Giving Me Life,” which begins as a downtempo club hit and morphs into a surrealist dream.  Mariah Carey is one of the artists who’s been in my life the longest – I’m so happy she’s still killing it.

8. Courtney Barnett: Tell Me How You Really Feel.  Courtney Barnett is what I was raised to believe an indie rock star should be: an unassuming, smart slacker with regular clothes and the ability to unleash earthbound poetry and atmosphere-puncturing solos with equal aplomb.  That effortless cool permeates every facet of her work, from her casual half-singing style to her loose but proficient playing, a mighty guitar god in the body of a humble 31-year-old.  (That she recorded a collaborative record with renowned cool guy Kurt Vile should surprise no-one.)  But what’s really striking about Barnett’s work is her wryly observant lyrics; whether she’s describing the banalities of urban life (“City Looks Pretty”) or eviscerating toxic masculinity (“Nameless, Faceless”), her keen eye and incisive wit pervade every line.  Tell Me is the sound of a strong artist getting stronger.

7. The Carters: Everything is Love.  I often say that as I get older, my favorite elements of songwriting are editing and restraint.  That’s why I tend to hate double albums and love EPs.  I just believe that most double albums would be better if distilled down to one really strong record.  EPs, on the other hand, leave the listener wanting more.  Such is the case with Everything is Love, which reads like a Beyonce trap record with a number of guest verses from Jay. Regardless of speculation on who did the lion’s share of the writing on the record, both are in top form.  Bey’s signature vocal virtuosity is on display as ever, but the real delight is in her capable delivery as a rapper.  She glides effortlessly through triplets like “Poppin, I’m poppin, my bitches are poppin, we go to the dealer and cop it all.”  Big Sean could never.  Meanwhile, Jay turns in a few of my favorite bars of the year (and also a very slick Drake diss) on “Boss:”

“You not a boss, you got a boss. N*ggas gettin’ jerked, that shit hurts, I take it personaly.  N*ggas’d rather work for the man than to work for me.  Just so they can pretend they on my level, that shit is irkin’ to me.  Pride always goeth before the fall, almost certainly.  It’s disturbing what I gross.  Survey says: you not even close.  Everybody’s bosses till the time to pay for the office, till them invoices separate the men from the boys. Over here we measure success by how many people successful next to you.  Here, we say you broke if everybody is broke except for you. BAWSE.”

I don’t know if they intend to release more records as The Carters, but Everything is Love is a fun, successful experiment.

6. Snail Mail: Lush.  There’s no reason for a debut LP to be this good.  The record, from solo project-turnt-band of 19-year-old Lindsay Jordan is focused, clever, and sophisticated.  Every component of these songs appears exactly as it should.  Jordan’s songwriting is clean and incisive (“I hope whoever it is holds their breath around you/’cause I know I did,” she sings on album standout “Heat Wave”).  The arrangements are smartly simple; seldom do they deviate from the four-person rock lineup, so the embellishments that are included (the French horn on “Deep Sea,” the layered keys on “Speaking Terms”) really leap out.  The playing throughout is lovely, with Jordan’s beautiful guitar technique front and center (the finger-picking on “Let’s Find an Out” is a particular delight). Everything in its right place – only where Radiohead’s inward gaze can be mopey and self-indulgent, the core strength of Lush is its efficiency.  There’s no filler here – just the exact amount of support that each piece requires.  The drumming feels especially strong in this regard – there’s an economic directness in Ray Brown’s playing that prioritizes the backbeat over everything, including his ego. The fills that he does include are modest and workmanlike.

It’s right that the record would be released by Matador, because these songs are drenched in the influences of the 90s slacker rock of Yo La Tengo, Sonic Youth, Sleater-Kinney and Sebadoh.  And as with each of those bands, Snail Mail’s songs are buoyed by excellent lyrics.  Jordan doesn’t just sound wise beyond her years, she actually seems to have lived more in her 19 years than many folks twice her age.  There’s a subtext of sobriety in some of the songs (“It just feels like the same party every weekend, doesn’t it?” on “Pristine,” or “I’m so tired of moving on/spending every weekend so far gone” on “Heat Wave”).  Perhaps the self-reflection that’s required in recovery has helped to distill her worldview.  

And look, I don’t mean to be patronizing here – this album would be a major achievement from any person of any age.  But to hear an artistic vision this crystal clear and laser-focused from a 19-year-old is something truly special.  I can’t wait to hear what she does next.

5. Shannon & the Clams: Onion.  Upon first listen, Onion struck me as the best record the Clams have released to date.  Now, admittedly, I’m a sucker for keyboards, and the inclusion of organist Will Sprott is pure Patrick-bait.  But beyond my own tastes, the organ both fills out and anchors the Clams’ garage doo-wop sound.  There’s a welcome succinctness to Onion: the songwriting is tight, the guitar playing is melodic and utilitarian, and the vocal performances from both Cody and Shannon are more technically refined than in any of their previous outings.  One wonders if Shannon’s work on her own solo album (the very good, Dan Auerbach-produced Shannon in Nashville, which also came out this year) pushed her to improve her technique.  And don’t get it fucked up – this is still a Clams record.  It’s still shaggy and loud and rambunctious – but they’ve worked hard to reign in their wildest tendencies.  Some might say that it’s layered, just like-- *an oversized cane hooks around my throat and drags me offstage* ….Well…..let’s just say it’s good.

4. Teyana Taylor: KTSE.  Of all the seven-song mini-albums Kanye produced in Wyoming this year, KTSE is both the best and the least talked-about.  She arrives seemingly out of the blue, a fully-formed artist who knows her strengths exactly.  She has bars when she feels like spitting them, a beautiful husky alto when she feels like crooning, and a profound connection to multiple styles of club music that’s borne of her history as a dancer.  It’s become a bit trendy to nod to vogue & ballroom culture in the last few years, but while Drake’s Big Freedia feature on “Nice for What” feels a little forced, Taylor can walk it like she talks it.  A dancer by trade, her comfort in the ballroom is palpable. 

Ye keeps it simple, remaining comfortably in his wheelhouse and flipping excellent soul samples such as Billy Stewart’s “I Do Love You” (which he repurposes into a nostalgic 4/4 slapper on “Hold On”) and The Stylistics’ “Because I Love You, Girl” (which he expands into a melancholy mediation on the horn section of the original).  It’s a welcome return to form.

3. Kacey Musgraves: Golden Hour.  In her SNL performance earlier this year, Kacey Musgraves appeared as a flat-ironed, longhair disco queen.  As she slayed Golden Hour’s catchy lead single “High Horse,” I was reminded of Dolly Parton.  I’ve been spending a lot of time with Dolly’s mid-70s and early-80s catalogue this past year, having purchased vinyl copies of All I Can Do, New Harvest…First Gathering, and Dolly, Dolly, Dolly.  Parton is one of those artists whose discographies are so gigantic as to seem practically impenetrable, so I’ve been trying to hear as much as I can.  Dolly, Dolly, Dolly is an especially interesting entry: released in 1980, it was her 23rd album, and it represents a pretty clear swing for crossover success.  A handful of the tracks are straight-up disco, and these are what Musgraves called to mind.  I was thrilled – Dolly’s disco experiments were widely panned, but I think there’s a lot of good there, maybe Golden Hour would be an attempt to vindicate Parton’s vision?

Unfortunately or not, I was incorrect.  In total, Golden Hour bears more resemblance to Dolly’s friend & frequent collaborator Emmylou Harris (Kacey’s hair should’ve tipped me off, SMH).  It’s a beautiful, understated, and thoughtful set of songs that could fit as well on a folk radio station as a country one.  Like Harris, Musgraves has an innate sense of how to let a great song be great, hanging back in both arrangement and vocal performance.  She’s emotive when she needs to be (“Rainbow”), and contemplative as needed (“Golden Hour”), always letting her writing breathe.  Also, she has the confidence to bury the lead single so deep on Side B that you almost forget it’s there (and are thrilled when it is).  As a person who prefers the full album experience to that of a shuffled playlist, this is one of my very favorite tricks.

Quite simply: great songs + great arrangements = a surprising list-topper for me.

2. Blood Orange: Negro Swan.  For years, the roles of sexuality and gender in black identity have been foci of Dev Hynes’ work as Blood Orange.  He spent time with drag queens and sex workers while writing his debut album Coastal Grooves, and has often cited transgender icon Octavia St. Laurent as one of his primary influences.  But while these interests have colored his previous albums, on Negro Swan they’re the bedrock.  In a press release preceding the album, Hynes described the album as “an exploration into my own and many types of black depression, an honest look at the corners of black existence, and the ongoing anxieties of queer/people of color.  A reach back into childhood and modern traumas, and the things we do to get through it all.  The underlying thread through each piece on the album is the idea of hope, and the lights we can try to turn on within ourselves with a hopefully positive outcome of helping others out of their darkness.”

These ideas are fundamental to the songwriting, and they’re reinforced by snippets of conversations with Janet Mock and Kai the Black Angel (who adorns the cover in a durag and angel wings) peppered throughout the album’s 49 minutes.  On “Family,” Mock defines community as “the spaces where you don’t have to shrink yourself, where you don’t have to pretend or to perform, you can fully show up and be vulnerable in silence, completely empty, and that’s completely enough.”  That search for community, the desire to be seen and loved and supported as your whole self informs each of these beautiful songs.  Already a competent producer, Hynes continues to grow, selecting beautiful flourishes like the jangly, perfectly out-of-tune guitar on “Charcoal Baby” or the soft, echoing snare drum on “Dagenham Dream” to characterize the thematic content of each piece.  Negro Swan is a powerful and complete work of art.  It sounds like he’s finally found some answers to the questions he’s been asking. 

1. Dirty Projectors: Lamp Lit Prose.  On Lamp Lit Prose, David Longstreth appears to be having more fun making music than he has in years, probably because almost 100% of his band has turned over (kudos to longtime bassist Nat Baldwin, whose playing tethers him to his own beginnings).  Beyond the new Projectors themselves, Longstreth spent the months during the writing of the album making new friends in the LA music scene, and bringing them around the studio to record various parts.  Members of Haim contribute to album standout “That’s a Lifestyle,” Syd (of The Internet) anchors the refrain in “Right Now,” and Fleet Foxes’ Robin Pecknold and Vampire Weekend alumnus Rostam Batmanglij stack harmonies onto the swirling ballad “You’re The One.”

I see LLP as the second half of a diptych begun by the self-titled Dirty Projectors, released last year.  While that record wallowed in the pain of a broken relationship with former Projector Amber Coffman, LLP reveals a healed and newly in love protagonist.  Both records feature David Longstreth at his most vocally competent: he’s now able to truly execute the melismatic R&B runs he lovingly wrote and charmingly attempted in his earliest work, his diaphragm now supports his every leap and bound, and his croon is sweeter than ever before.  But furthermore, both albums expand on ideas that have popped up throughout his illustrious and impressive body of work.  Whether he’s reviving the Rise Above era blasts of noisy guitars on “Zombie Conqueror” or revisiting the orchestral ambitions of The Getty Address on the stunningly soulful “I Wanna Feel It All,” Longstreth sounds like a worker with a complete toolbox and a detailed blueprint.  He’s been working at honing his craft for years.

I saw the Projectors in June, at a time when only “Break-Thru” and “That’s a Lifestyle” had leaked.  I didn’t know what to expect, being among the seemingly small minority of fans who liked their previous record.  But their set was staggering.  Flanked by his group of mostly-new faces, Longstreth was bouncing all over the place, proudly showcasing each instrumentalist & vocalist (seemingly everyone had at least one moment in the spotlight), visibly excited about playing with this group of people.  And that makes sense: LLP is Longstreth relishing the fundamental glee of musical collaboration.  The joy is positively bubbling over in tracks like “Right Now,” “I Feel Energy,” and “I Found it in You.”  To see him play these songs live is to wonder if he’s talking about the act of musicmaking itself when he sings: “Ask now, I’m in love for the first time ever.”

[things2mustdo]

The video game industry and culture changed substantially when women started to get involved. Whenever a successful male industry is created, a biological urge to change it comes from those with two X chromosomes. Here are e three ways that women have ruined gaming culture:

1. Inclusiveness

The videogame culture of the 70’s – 00’s was about making fun games to sell to consumers. This could mean controlling Bill and Lance from “Contra” to Duke in “Duke Nukem.” You bought video games that appealed to you and didn’t support the ones you didn’t like. Women don’t understand this basic formula. They would rather screech about a game not including a strong female role model than actually make a video game with a strong female role model.

A female Youtuber named Anita Sarkeesian used this premise to rally for more feminist narratives. A normal alpha would use Kickstarter to make a high budget game that appeals to them. Anita instead spent time begging on Kickstarter and used it to raise over $150,000 dollars to make snarky videos on an iMac. Females always want to be inclusive without putting in the work themselves. One example is this fat lady named Heidi.

This is an example of a woman who wants to write a poly-amorous love triangle  in video games instead of working on a new physics engine. It’s also not surprising that she’s a fat single mother with a useless degree. If we had this chick developing games instead of Shigeru Miyamato, Mario would be a transgender Eskimo amputee and he would beat up racist men instead of saving the princess. It would also mean that video game companies would go out of business. Since the type of feminists the “social justice” games would be marketed to rarely support businesses that aren’t clothing, decadent food and media publications.  In the big scheme of things, video-game companies need talented men to produce content that would be used to subsidize feminist outreach programs made by the same companies. Every time you see a conference or panel at a convention hosted by a video-game company about getting more women into the industry, you know that these wouldn’t even be possible without Joe Nerd spending 16 hours a day, 7 days a week unknowingly subsidizing it. Women want to be involved in things but don’t want to do the actual work to do so.

2. Video Game Journalism

Women and beta males have made video game journalism an entry point for dilettantes with humanity majors. Most major publications like Kotaku, Gawker, IGN, and Gamespot rather complain about how “sexist” GTA is than write actual meaningful game content. Video game publications have turned into tabloids with female writers at the helm. Most people can’t name a female game journalist because they coast on their male colleagues who do the actual work.

You’ll never have a Louis Theroux in the video game industry because women who work in the industry would bitch about inquisitive questions. They would rather write about some dumb ass model dressed up as a video-game character than something substantive.

3. Gamer Girls

The last part of this trifecta of regression is the culture of gaming brought in by women. The beta males of video gaming culture are the thirstiest betas in existence. When a former porn star can make more money by streaming video games for donations instead taking a fat dick, you know there has to be betas behind that.

You go to any Youtube channel about gaming and it will have a useless pretty chick talking about her experiences with Pokemon as a child. These women are not actual gamers but women riding a fad. They’re called “Gamer Gurls” for the reason to mock the gurl phrase that feminists like to use. These semi-attractive chicks have learned that they can get the princess treatment by pretending to be a video game enthusiast. Also another type of chick started to pop up. These women though don’t have the facade of being attractive. Instead they use videogames to up their social status. The land whales realized that if they could fake their enthusiasm for games, some video game beta would find them attractive as well. The betas fight over these chicks and since they’re all manginas of the highest degree. This is one of the reasons that betaness and even omeganess are the norms in video game culture.

Because of these reasons, video games have declined since their great rise in the 70’s-00’s. Girl gamers and their beta male hangers-on rather buy Call of Duty than support quality products. Don’t let women in to your sub-culture unless you want it permanently disfigured. Too bad they already did it to my favorite sub-culture.

https://www.returnofkings.com/12615/5-things-i-learned-from-call-of-duty

5 THINGS I LEARNED FROM CALL OF DUTY

WESTERN CANCER

I played a lot of video games growing up; not as much as those weird neck-bearded kids who play WoW, but enough to learn just how much time one can waste playing them. After I got home from school I’d grab a snack and sit my ass on the couch and start playing until dinner. I’d go to friends houses on weekends and play games and when a new game came out I’d play it tirelessly until I beat it. Fifteen hours a week isn’t all that much when you’re a teenager; school is easy and you have no reason to be doing anything else, but the older I get the more I realize how much of a time-sink it was. However, there are a few important lessons I learned from playing all those hours.

1. There are complainers…

Most guys who play CoD either talk shit about how they fucked your mother or they just keep silent. The rest are those who bitch and moan about every little detail. They’re the guys who complain you’re ‘hacking,’ playing unfairly, or using a loadout that gives you an advantage. They’re the sore losers and you encounter them in the real world all the time. In the real world those same guys whine about following the rules because they are scared of stepping out of line, they are the people who believe everyone needs to be brought to the same level lest one be left out. The best way I’ve found to deal with them is just ignore them. Ignore those who complain about perceived problems the same way you would ignore some 13 year old kid whining how using RPGs aren’t fair.

2. …and then there are those who find patterns.

On the more extreme end of things there are those who learn patterns and exploit them. They’re the guys who learn spawning patterns, optimized loadouts, good sniping positions and so on. They put in serious time to get good at the game, they also know they have to do more than learn the game to get good at the game. In the time it takes them to master the theoretical or detail oriented parts of the game their motor skills have increased as well. These guys are like us. We improve our social skills, appearance, and confidence as well as exploiting the current system in order to get better at the game of life.

3. The importance of competition

Competition is at the core of our masculinity, without it we are just participating in existence. Call of Duty is the most immediate form of competition I have come across and I never realized its importance until the first powerlifting meet I competed in. At the meet adrenaline coursed through my veins between attempts and although I cheered others on I felt a burning desire to lift as much as I damn could to prove myself better than the rest. While you may only be competing against half-literate, drugged out teenagers playing Call of Duty, you still get that same rush when trying to annihilate the other team. Even while relaxing with friends, having a few beers and playing CoD you want to beat their score. You want to be the best.

4. The average man sucks

The last CoD game I played regularly was the first Black Ops game. There was an option to look at another player’s scorecard. This scorecard showed their kill/death ratio, win/loss ratio, and every other imaginable metric of success. In this data was hours played. Between matches I’d always look at the opposition’s scorecard and 9 times out of 10 the dude had fucking terrible stats. I would regularly see players who played hundreds of hours yet still died more than they killed. Even though most guys play CoD to relax they’re still fucking terrible and aren’t any better than when they started. Same goes in the real world. Most men you meet will be extremely average, and as we all know average never got anyone anywhere. You reconnect with a friend 5 years down the line and his accomplishments include: having a mortgage, being in debt, becoming overweight, and maybe driving a new car.

5. People will do anything if given the right rewards

Video game developers are crafty sons of bitches, like social media mavens they sell instant gratification. When you think about it a game like Call of Duty is extremely boring and repetitive. Each game is 10-15 minutes long and you do the exact same thing each time, something has to keep you coming back. While much of the draw can be attributed to the thrill of competition and success there is another factor: the instant gratification of rewards. The first few hours you play Call of Duty you’re assaulted with various medals, ribbons, unlocks and upgrades. You get a medal for 5 kills, then 50, then 500. You get sucked in from the start and desire the hardest to get rewards. As in the real world people will perform the same mindless action day in, day out given enough monetary or emotional compensation.

I still play from time to time. Its nice to do nothing but move your thumbs for an hour, but no man should spend the majority of his precious free time doing something so unproductive as playing video games. One of my biggest regrets from being a teenager was spending much of my time alone playing games when I could have been out doing something interesting, or in the very least reading books. However I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned. I know now to ignore those who complain and instead of complaining myself I seek out ways to overcome obstacles and get better. I know now how easily average people can be manipulated into doing mindless things if they are sufficiently compensated. Most importantly I know the importance of competition in masculine development.

[lovewavesxx]

Love Waves – EP 11 – Gravitational Pulllse

October 30, 2017

“You've got this Gravitational Pulllse. –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/2Llf67GeeMOMLTUtL2VY6n

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-11-gravitational-pulllse/idpl.u-4Jom5zbIjBX3Rv

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRT4tbMTKqo5iUtmEdAMfRxZ

I highly recommend watching some of these music videos. You can do that by clicking the underlined titles or clicking the YouTube link above.

1. Ty Dolla $ign – All The Time

2. Belly – Lullaby

3. SZA – Babylon (feat. Kendrick Lamar)

4. Marc E. Bassy – Black Jeep

5. Jhené Aiko – While We’re Young

6. H.E.R. – Lights On

7. dsvn – Think About Me

8. Rick Ross – Maybach Music V (feat. DeJ Loaf)

9. Mike WiLL Made-It – Aries (feat. Pharrell & Station Wagon P)

10. Dylan Matthew – Now or Later

11. Ryan Oaks – Time to Kill

12. Lupe Fiasco – Pick Up the Phone

13. Austin Awake – What I Need

14. Frank Ocean – Thinkin Bout You

15. Snoh Aalegra – You Keep Me Waiting (feat. Vic Mensa)

16. Drake – Marvins Room

Click here for my Spotify profile

Click here for my Apple Music profile

https://ericajones10.sarahah.com/

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Playlist Description:

Before I start, S/O to Adam and Kayla for once again giving me their input on the new Love Waves artwork. It’s wild how one of my ideas can get transformed into something even better with their help. I love them both very much. Thank you bbb and bbg. <3 <3 Also, the audio waves behind the heart is literally my voice saying the words “Love Waves” in five different emotions/tones. Wild, crazy, detail stuff, right?

Today has been really rough. I am really late getting this episode out, and as I write this I am going to try my damndest to stay on topic. Bare with me if I swerve a little.

The inspiration for this playlist came from another playlist I started solely because of the song All The Time by Ty Dolla $ign. It only came out a few days ago, but that is my favorite song off of his Beach House 3 album, but the whole project is pretty solid to be honest.

So why the name Gravitational Pulllse?

gravitational grav·i·ta·tion·al 2. denoting a forceful attraction or movement toward something.

pull /po͝ol/ 2. a force drawing someone or something in a particular direction or course of action.

pulse pəls/ 2. a single vibration or short burst of sound, electric current, light, or other wave.

The word gravitational came from something Adam said to me last week. We were joking around and I said I was behind Kayla while she was in line at Starbucks. I said, “Oh I see you. Turn around. I’m waving.” Adam gently shot back something along to the lines of, “No, I know you aren’t here because I don’t feel your gravitational pull.” What. A. Dick. Jk haha.

After hearing All The Time, I got to thinking about songs that pull me in. Songs I’m just drawn to. That’s where the first playlist started.

Then I got to thinking about the pulse of music and the pulse of my own heart. That led me to thinking about how pulses from music draw my heart into them, and how I get attached to certain songs.

The reason for the three l’s is because I wanted people to distinctly know I am actively emphasizing the word Pulllse because it has a double meaning in this name. It’s the way my pulse gets pulled or pushed towards something or someone. “You've got this Gravitational Pulllse.” You’ve got me drawn in and hooked. Other times it’s me pulling that object or person in.

I find connections and the power they have over our being to be quite interesting. In many cases those are positive situations and in other cases those situations are not quite so great, but we stick around anyways despite the drawbacks.

I wrote something last week that really stuck with me. You can click here to read it, and if you’d like to leave comments, then go for it. I suppose it’s about connection. A connection with my head, and how others influence me.

I’ll end the overall description with this. Today, while filling my car up with gas I heard someone say, “We’re all here just dying together,” while they were waiting to pay at the little booth thingy at Dillons. That shit blew my mind. I never really thought much about that aspect. I always focus on how we’re all living together right now, but damn, we’re also dying too. That phrase makes me think about how we spend the time we do have right now with ourselves and with people. Why do we spend our time in toxic situations? Why can’t we let go? Why don’t we actively do what is genuinely the best for us? To be honest, I have no fucking clue, but it got me thinking. Hopefully this gets you thinking. And don’t worry, I’m not saying I’m perfect. One of my mottos since I was sixteen has been, “I’m fucked up, but in a manageable way.” Now if that ain’t the truth I don’t know what is. :)

Song Descriptions:

The aim of this week’s playlist was to throw in a lot of new music.

Lullaby by Belly is the very first and most likely the last song to ever repeat in my Love Waves series. It also appeared in EP 10, which was purely created from other people’s song suggestions. There are a few lines that seriously hit my head and my heart.

Babylon by SZA featuring Kendrick Lamar IS A MUST LISTEN. Seriously, listen to this song, watch the music video, and read the meaning of the lyrics. I’ve been obsessed with this song and it was part of my inspiration for what I wrote and told you to read above.

Click here to watch the official music video by Babylon by SZA

Click here to read the lyrics and meaning of Babylon by SZA featuring Kendrick Lamar

At first I wasn’t super into Black Jeep by Marc E. Bassy, but after getting it into a flow that I really like, I’ve been listening to is a lot this past week or so.

While We’re Young by Jhené Aiko is definitely a late night song. You’ll understand what I mean if you listen to it under the moon’s light. Also, the music video reminds me of the movie 50 First Dates.

Maybach Music V and Aries both came out earlier this year. I think they were in my S3nD Nud3s 2.0 playlist, but if I put one somewhere the other has to go with it. It’s just a flow thing.

Dylan Matthew just released a new EP titled Only up from Here. Check that and him out.

Time to Kill by Ryan Oaks. That is the best song off of his project Out of Patience.

Low kii I used to sleep on Lupe’s DROGAS Light, but I’ve been listening to it recently. Pick Up the Phone is my favorite so far.

What I Need by Austin Awake is another song that’s good for those late, overthinking, sad shit hours.

Thinkin Bout You by Frank is always a good song. Issa classic bb.

You Keep Me Waiting by Snoh Aalegra is brand new. She just released her album FEELS a few days ago. She’s got Logic on a song too, but this one is my favorite. The vibe reminds me of music from the movie Baby Driver. :)

Marvins Room by Drake. That feel. RT.

That’s all I have for you this week. Get in touch with my via the links below and send me some good tunes if you feel the need to. 

Click here for my Spotify profile

Click here for my Apple Music profile

https://ericajones10.sarahah.com/

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Love,

-E xx.

[ratfuck]

Alrighty, I finished Alien: Isolation about 3 years too late, here’s what I gotta say

It’s really incredible

I know a LOT of people didn’t like it, be it too long or the backtracking or god-forbid the pussies out there saying it’s too hard, but the game was really entertaining and for it’s cost on launch, about 60 bucks, damn it’s good to have a game that’s nearly 24 hours long, rather than some piece of shit triple A title that has a 4-6 hour campaign and the rest is focused on multiplayer. The artistic direction of the game is just so beautiful, and the plot, while it being a standard escape scenario, still had me intrigued. I felt like I was in Amanda’s shoes throughout the entire time.

I did have some problems with the game, two big ones:

The alien itself, everybody loves the Xenomorph, it’s the selling point of the series, but damn, it really shows itself too often. My favorite part of the game is the second third of it, where you’re up against the Seegson Working Joe androids and armed survivors, and having to get to the Apollo AI. At first, the Xenomorph is scary, and your heart is racing when you’re stuffed in a locker and the thing is 3 feet away from you. Not so much after the 20th time, it becomes a nuisance. All your resources go into making molotov cocktails so you can douse the thing in flames to make it run off for 10 seconds before you can hide in a locker. It appears so much that you don’t become afraid of the damn thing, you just swear at it until it leaves a room after investigating it for 5 minutes. It gets even worse when you get the flamethrower, because as long as you use the fuel sparingly and just use 1-3 quick, short bursts on it, you won’t run out of ammo, and you don’t fear the thing anymore. You should also be able to injure it (not kill it, just scare it away) by firing the revolver or shotgun at it, it really breaks you out of the game when the thing will still be running after you after 4 blasts to the face with a shotgun, when the damn thing will be fucked up in the movies after that. It’s controversial, but I feel it’s in the game way too much, and quickly it just feels like you’re being harassed by a cat swatting at your legs when you try and get to the bathroom at night, it really should’ve appeared maybe once or twice per mission until certain sequences.

The ending, I’m not going to spoil it, but it’s way too fucking short, and it feels very rushed, and after a 22+ hour game, you shouldn’t be treated with a short sequence and cutscene that combined will last about 1 minute before credits roll, there isn’t any ending log like the movies, just a dumb cliffhanger that leaves you waiting for a sequel that likely won’t be made

Otherwise, the game was perfect by my standards. I would really like to see a sequel in the not-too-distant-future, but that likely won’t happen. The game, despite being crowned GOTY 2014 by everyone, didn’t sell well, and the dumbfuck twats at IGN and Gamespot gave the game a 5/10 (while everyone else gave it a 9/10 or 10/10) because it was too long and too difficult for them to play, which didn’t help the sales at all

So, overall, the game is extremely entertaining, well worth your money in gameplay, and delivers on some good thrills, especially towards the end, the overusage of the alien will frustrate people as it becomes an obstacle until around the middle of the game, it’s something I’d definitely play again in the future

on a numerical rating system I’d give it a 9/10.

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week twenty-five

capsule reviews of the pop songs which debuted on the billboard hot 100 the weeks of 30 June 2007 and 1 July 2017

30 June 2007

87) "Teenagers," My Chemical Romance

Y'know, I find Welcome to the Black Parade mostly disagreeable, but heck if this song ain't a bright spot, insofar as a song about bringing concealed weaponry of some kind to school is a "bright spot." (Hey, I dunno, if you have to add a disclaimer to the video saying "violence isn't the answer," you should consider a different song for the single? Just a thought, don't wanna backseat record executive, here, but that seems bad.) Like, apart from the "under your shirt" line, it's kind of a perfect angsty vibe, not Linkin Parky fml angst, more angsty in that eternally adolescent sense of "all adults are robots and I will never conform," it channels that really well, and it has a dope guitar solo. I don't think I've mentioned a guitar solo being fun, and I can't tell if that's because I don't typically care about guitar solos or this is the first memorable guitar solo we've gotten, but either way, best guitar solo of the project so far. I am spending a lot of time on this song because I'm like 60% sure it's gonna be the only song I like this week. (spoilers: it isn’t!)

93) "Imagine," Jack Johnson

You know what's another thing about "Teenagers?" Like, even before I ever listened to Welcome to the Black Parade, I could draw a line from "Welcome to the Black Parade" to "Teenagers." I could make sense of how "Teenagers" would fit in a narrative that began with "Welcome to the Black Parade," how that kid would become angry and sullen and start scaring adults. I wish more singles had some sort of thematic throughline, like I don't necessarily mean Future should write a rock opera, I mean that I should be able to get the sense that like "Shape of You" and "Castle on the Hill" are from the same album. But maybe I'm just projecting, maybe I'm stuck in MUSIC WAS BETTER IN 2007 mode when, as seen here, it clearly fucking wasn't.

94) "Shawty," Piles ft./T-Pain

wait hold up is that the "shawty, yeah-e-yeah, yeah" from the start of "i'm on the boat." did t-pain start all his features with "shawty yeah-e-yeah yeah" and i'm just noticing it now, or did t-pain reuse a run. anyway, piles is the goat: grossest of all time. he drops bars that would make yachty wince. like, this is just the first verse: "i pointed at the donk & told her this s'posed to be yours/showed her a couple stacks and told her i'd let her blow it" what body part is the donk in this context. if piles calls his dick 'the donk' i might throw up, especially since he believes being able to suck on it is a wonderful privilege. "i taught her how to talk to me while she take pipe" well, communication is key to any healthy relationship, i'm glad piles understands its importance "i gotta train her, now she suck me with ice" oh okay that's cool, yeah no, women need to be trained to give pleasure, i get it, totally, chill attitude that was the first verse. piles is the worst. i can't believe we squandered this hook and the "bust it baby, pt. 2" hook on this gross gross boy. oh hey second verse "member she used to run from me, now she like pain" cool. coooooooooooooooooooooooool. what a song!

no updates to the 2007 top 20 week but we’re gonna publish the top 20 because i didn’t last week and you may have forgotten 20) "Get Me Bodied," by Beyonce (5.26.2007) 19) "Lip Gloss," by Lil Mama (6.9.2007) 18) "I Don't Wanna Stop," by Ozzy Osbourne (5.26.2007) 17) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 16) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 15) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 14) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 13) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 12) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 11) "Never Again," by Kelly Clarkson (5.12.2007) 10) "Can't Tell Me Nothing," by Kanye West (6.16.2007) 9) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 8) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 7) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 6) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 5) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 4) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 3) "Beautiful Flower," by India.Arie (6.16.2007) 2) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 1) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) i still enjoy all 20 of these songs. alright, 2017, low bar for ya. maybe you wanna clear it?

1 July 2017

16) "2U," David Guetta by ft./Justin Bieber

There's something I really don’t like about Justin Bieber saying "Watch me speak from my heart when it comes to you," and then having that line immediately followed by an EDM drop. Like is the drop supposed to be a substitute for words? Is the drop supposed to communicate what's in Justin Bieber's heart? Because all I hear from the drop is "what a nifty drop I am!" But this feels less like a criticism than it does like pedantry. It's OK. David Guetta is a proven programmer of pop music, and this is another solid song that he has made that I wouldn't have been able to pin to David Guetta if I listened to this blind.

70) "Love Galore," by SZA ft./Travis Scott

Worth pointing out that the first autocomplete result for love galore is "love galore travis scott," which is cool. I'm also gonna cop to having this album in my library but letting it sit because there's so much else I have to get to and this wasn't a priority. This song doesn't move the album higher in my queue, but it does have me excited to get to it. This is a dope song, this portrait of an awful relationship neither party much wants to be in, but are staying together because they love each other, whatever that means. SZA regrets hooking up with Travis Scott, Travis Scott admits he was only looking for ass and titties, they both operate independently of one another, but there's love, so there's that. And then the end, when that extremely pleasant bass line disappears, there's that single note on the keyboard and SZA going "woah," then that beat switch into SZA saying "I came here to have sex with you, and if it weren't for that, I wouldn't be here," that's just so cool, like this song is complex and intricate and it does the thing "4 AM" did last week where the music occasionally goes out of tone and it does that thing to great effect. SZA's dope. I'm excited for whatever time I get to spend with her in the future. ...OK. OK, fine, I'll fucking leave this nice dark place and go to countrydudetopia.

79) "Do I Make You Wanna," by Billy Currington

Time for a YAS REWIND, because remember last week when we talked about how many people have made it from the 2007 Hot 100 to the 2017? THIS IS RELEVANT TO THAT, because Billy Currington just became the 29th member of the Decade Dance Party! We will share the full list later in this post, because there are only 10 songs this week and most of them blow so I'ma give you some other #content this week, but it's worth noting right here that 9 of the 29 members of Decade Dance Party are country dudes. You drive down enough dirt roads, you're gonna get stuck in the mud at some point. This is a song in which Billy Currington asks his girlfriend if he makes her feel complete and safe, which is either incredibly arrogant or pathetically needy.

89) "Escapate Conmigo," by Wisin ft./Ozuna

HELL YEAH LATIN POP. Gosh, the renewal of Latin pop as a thing we listen to has been one of the best things about doing this silly thing. Like, all the Latin pop is my second favorite thing about YAS, just ahead of Kendrick week but, let's be real, a million miles behind Ashley Tisdale's cover of "Kiss the Girl." This is such a nice song. The beat bounces nicely, Wisin's flow is like "what if Lin-Manuel Miranda rapped in Spanish and was also good" (like maybe it's been a while since I heard that dude rap, but they sound so very alike), and it has one of the best mis-translated lyrics of the year with "My supergirl/The one whose smiles steal me/Tremendous wolf." Tremendous wolf. I adore that.

93) "What Ifs," by Kane Brown ft./Lauren Alaina

I see you, dude. First off, this dude's voice is incredible. Like, after listening to dude after dude either whispering softly over EDM or bleating twangily over the country beat, hearing this dude belt was An Experience. I wish the production would calm down a little bit, like this dude and Lauren Alaina could have made this song an epic ballad on their own, but nah, gotta have the electronic drums spoil a perfectly good opening guitar line, gotta have the standard pop/country things choke the life out of what could've been some cool moments. This dude's a lot like that Luke Combs fella from a few months back, not stylistically or anything, just in the sense that I bet he's cooler than he is on this song, and I trust he's not just some bro country yutz, but I'm not in any rush to check out what else he's got, despite how appealing the song title "Used to Love You Sober" is.

95) "It's a Vibe," by 2 Chainz ft./Ty Dolla $ign, Trey Songz & Jhene Aiko

This was also OK! As stated, this song was a vibe, and gosh darn, if it didn't do much more than vibe, though. A fun way to kill three minutes, a less than fun thing to listen to if you're charging yourself with the task of coming up with some unique point to make about it for to generate likes and the whatnot. S'a'ight, y'know? I'm supposed to write, what, 100 words about something thats'a'ight? I mean, I don't have to, no one ever asked me to and they clearly don't want me to, but like. It's a vibe! It's another one. Fuck it, I don't, sigh, just give me the country dudes and let's get out of this actually-pretty-decent week.

100) "It Ain't My Fault," by Brothers Osborne

OK. OK! OK, hell yeah, no, I'm sorry for calling you country dudes, 'cuz hot damn, this was great. Like, Chris Stapleton gets a lot of hype for making classic country music, but he only makes the sad slow acoustic country music, and like Johnny Cash had "Folsom Prison Blues" and "A Boy Named Sue," y'know? Not to compare this song to those, but this is uptempo classic country, this is classic country with got damn STOMP, and it's dope as hell.

Two new songs in the Top 20 for 2017! 20) "It Ain't My Fault," by Brothers Osborne (7.1) 19) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 18) "Felices los 4," by Maluma (6.3) 17) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 16) "Love Galore," by SZA ft./Travis Scott (7.1) 15) "Bad Liar," by Selena Gomez (6.3) 14) "DNA." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 13) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 12) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 11) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 10) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 9) "Strangers," by Halsey ft./Lauren Jauregui (6.17) 8) "Either Way," by Chris Stapleton (5.27) 7) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 6) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 5) "ELEMENT." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 4) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 3) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Hard Times," by Paramore (5.13) I bumped “Selfish” this week. I have no idea how that happened. 2017′s slowly becoming stacked, and/or I’m an idiot.

Who won the week?

2017. Like? 2017.

2017: 13 2007: 12

Yooge opportunity for 2017 to widen this gap, too, so I’m stoked for a solid two weeks of Chainsmokers songs and memes. Anyway, THE IMPORTANT THING.

The Decade Dance Club

30 people have made or been featured on songs that charted in the years 2007 and 2017. They are: 1) Daddy Yankee (”Impacto,” “Shaky Shaky”) 2) Dierks Bentley (”Free & Easy,” “Black”) 3) Luke Bryan (”All My Friends Say,” “Fast”) 4) Gucci Mane (”Freaky Gurl,” “Make Love”) 5) Jason Aldean (”Johnny Cash,” “Any Ol’ Barstool”) 6) Lil Wayne (”Sweetest Girl” (feat), “Running Back” (feat)) 7) Missy Elliott (”Let it Go” (feat), “I’m Better”) 8) Maroon 5 (”Makes Me Wonder,” “Cold”) 9) Nick Jonas (”Year 3000″ (w/jobros), “Bom Bidi Bom”) 10) DJ Khaled (”We Takin Over,” “Shining”) 11) Beyonce (”Get Me Bodied,” “Shining”) 12) Jay-Z (”Blue Magic,” “Shining”) 13) Linkin Park (”What I’ve Done,” “Heavy”) 14) Rihanna (”Umbrella,” “Selfish” (feat)) 15) Josh Turner (”Me & God,” “Hometown Girl”) 16) Rick Ross (“We Takin Over” (feat), “Trap Trap Trap”) 17) Faith Hill (”I Need You,” “Speak to a Girl”) 18) Tim McGraw (”I Need You,” “Speak to a Girl”) 19) Miranda Lambert (”Famous in a Small Town,” “Tin Man”) 20) Enrique Iglesias (”Dimelo,” “Subeme la Radio”) 21) Flo Rida (”Low,” “Cake”) 22) Kenny Chesney (”Beer in Mexico,” “Bar at the End of the World”) 23) Paramore (”Misery Business,” “Hard Times”) 24) Miley Cyrus (”Nobody’s Perfect,” “Malibu”) 25) Blake Shelton (”Don’t Make Me,” “Every Time I Hear That Song”) 26) Shakira (”Beautiful Liar,” “Me Enamore”) 27) Rascal Flatts (”Stand,” “Yours if You Want It”) 28) Trey Songz (”Can’t Help But Wait,” “Nobody Else But You”) 29) Billy Currington (”Good Directions,” “Do I Make You Wanna”) 30) Wisin (”Sexi Movimento,” “Escapate Conmigo”)

Shout out to Wisin for making the list, too! So that’s 30, out of hundreds, who have had a career on the pop charts that spanned a decade. Specifically, the last ten years, there’s a few folks who’ve charted in 2017 that didn’t chart in 2007 despite being things back then, such as Darius Rucker, Eminem, John Legend, Mariah Carey, and Pharrell Williams. There’s also some folks who hit in 2008 that have hit in 2017, your Katy Perries and Ladies Antebellum, that cannot make this list because, hey, it’s kind of a dumb list. But music is dumb, and this list should illustrate how hard it is to last in the music business (unless you’re a dude who makes country music), which is why it’s vitally important we spend hours and hours dissecting Lil’ Yachty lyrics.