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cc--2224 · 3 months ago

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Worth The Wait

Pairing: Tech x F!Reader

Summary: You wear your favourite sundress knowing Tech has too much on hit plate to appreciate it, but you need to do the supply run anyway, so where's the harm in making him wait?

Warnings: This is very much 18+ Minors do not interact! Minimal plot, lots of teasing, slight edging?, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it!), oral (m receiving), jealous/possessive/somewhat dom Tech

Notes: Requests are still open! And if you'd like to be added to a tag list, feel free to message me or fill out this form!

Word Count: 2.8k

Masterlist

It was always too hot on Pabu. Too hot to keep your armor on all the time, even too hot to wear your blacks all the time. You genuinely didn't know how the batch could wear so many layers on this island.

With it being your turn for the supply run, you decided to mitigate the heat by wearing your favourite sundress. You rarely had a chance to wear it and it complemented you so well. Besides, it wasn't as if you needed to suddenly go away on a mission any time soon, you were just going to the market.

An added bonus was that wearing such a dress was a sure-fire way to tease Tech. You had been together for a few months, since everything had calmed down and you were able to finally relax on Pabu. Your mutual feelings were known well before that, but the timing was never right.

It surprised you how clingy he could be. He always came off as someone who was very protective of his space, which wasn't untrue, he was just also protective of your space.

So when you wandered out of your bunk in your little sundress knowing he was knee-deep in repairs on the Marauder, it added a sense of mischief to your outfit.

"I'm heading out for the supply run, I'll be back soon." You called over to him, glancing to the array of tools splayed out around the floor.

His head poked out from under the console and he looked at you, eying you up and down. You saw him visibly swallow before he spoke.

"You are wearing that?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I? It's hot out."

"N-no I mean... you look beautiful, but I cannot go with you to–." He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, feeling guilty for coming across so jealously. He sighed and looked back at you "Thank you for going on the supply run. You have my list, correct?"

"No need to thank me, it's my turn. And yes, I have everyone's lists." You smiled then opened the ship's door. "Oh and, when I return, you'll be the only one to see what's under my sundress, if you'd like."

You winked then exited the ship before he could respond, however you heard the loud clattering noise of tools falling over.

You decided to take the long way to the market. After all, it was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, and the warm breeze tickled your skin. And if it meant Tech had to wait longer to see you when you got back, so be it.

Villagers greeted you as you passed them, the occasional fisherman stared maybe a few seconds too long, but you didn't pay it any mind, and eventually you made it to the market.

You decided to peruse the market stalls for a while, looking at the different trinkets and items for sale, making sure you were picking the best quality items, examining each piece of fruit closely when you got to the produce stands to ensure you weren't buying something bruised, chatting with the stall owners about their selections.

By the time you had finally crossed off every item from the various lists and arranged for them to be delivered to the Marauder the following day, it was already evening. You sighed looking off into the sunset beginning to dip into the ocean below, and decided you shouldn't torment Tech any longer.

You walked back toward the landing port, this time hurrying a little bit, until you eventually reached the Marauder.

The door opened for you and you stepped in, it was quiet, no longer sounds of Tech's repairs, nor was there sound of anyone else on board. You shrugged, assuming you were alone and began walking toward your bunk.

"Stop." A voice rang out from the cockpit. The door was open but you didn't see anyone, until the pilot chair spun around. Tech did not seem pleased. He sat with his arms folded over his chest and one leg crossed over the other.

"It is nice of you to finally return." He said, bitterly. You smirked in response.

"I'm sorry, my love. The supply run took me longer than intended."

"Did it? Or were you purposefully extending your stay?"

How did he know? You played it cool and walked toward the cockpit slowly, making sure he had a full view of you at all times.

"Do you truly believe I would make you wait all day?"

He leaned back, head resting against the back of the chair as he took you in. "Yes, I do, if it meant it would increase my need for you."

You stopped a few feet away from him. "Did it work?"

He uncrossed his legs, revealing a prominent bulge under his blacks, your mouth watered at the sight. "You tell me. This is after I had to take matters into my own hands."

You took another few steps forward, closing the distance between you. Your hands rested on Tech's face, tilting his head up toward you. "I'd say it worked." You smiled before capturing his lips with yours.

His tongue pushed past your lips, deepening the kiss, and you moaned into his mouth.

Tech's hands found their way to your hips, gripping the soft fabric. You broke away from the kiss, peppering his face with soft kisses over his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, his jaw, and finally his neck.

He reached down, bunching the fabric up as he dipped his hand under your dress, gripping your thighs before slowly sliding up, intending to start removing your panties, only when he got to where the waistband should have been, he found nothing.

His eyes widened slightly before he looked up at you. Your bottom lip was sucked between your teeth.

"You wore this without any undergarments?" His voice a little more than a whisper.

"I told you, it was hot outside."

He swallowed thickly, you could tell he wasn't entirely sure if he should be disappointed or turned on.

"Besides, it's not like anyone saw... I think."

His grip tightened on your thighs. "You think?"

"I mean, a few of the fisherman couldn't keep their eyes off of me."

You knew full well that no one saw under your dress. The breeze was never strong enough to blow your dress up, and it was long enough to cover you. But you couldn't lie, the effect you were having on Tech only added to the hot coil you felt in your abdomen.

"Another test?" He asked, seeming to call your bluff.

"Who's to say? I don't know what they saw." You smirked as you began kissing him again.

His hand moved around to your ass and he squeezed the flesh. "It had better be a test." With his other hand, he reached up and placed it on your jaw, holding you so that you were looking into his eyes, you noticed that his pupils were blown wide behind his goggles. "You are mine. No one else's. I am the only one who gets to see you like this. Understood?"

You nodded as best as you could with his hand gripping your jaw. "Ye-yes, sir."

He let go of you, and stood up from his chair, looking down at you as he towered over you. You felt yourself clench around nothing with just his dark expression alone.

"Now, since you have made me wait all day, I think it is time I got what I wanted. Would you agree?"

You nodded, "Yes..."

"Good girl." He grabbed your shoulders and spun you around so that you were facing the viewport with your back flush against his chest. You felt his cock press into you through your clothing and you stifled a moan.

He walked you forward until you were at the console and he gently pushed your back down, bending you over in front of him.

You heard a faint beep from behind you and you realized he was recording this, not that you minded, he had discussed it with you in the past, but usually it meant he had things planned.

"Open your legs." He ordered. You did as you were told, spreading your legs for him. He pushed the fabric of your dress up over your ass, out of the way, and then with his other hand he grabbed your wrists, pinning them behind your back. It took you a minute to adjust but he assured his grip wasn't too tight as to make you uncomfortable.

He took a minute to free himself from his blacks, before his hands returned to you. The hand that wasn't holding your wrists slid up your thigh before gripping the soft flesh of your ass again.

Before long, his hand trailed down between your legs. He ran his long fingers between your folds before pushing two into you. You moaned as he began stretching you, pumping his fingers in and out, building the heat your felt in your core.

You whined when he pulled his fingers out of you completely, feeling the loss already, but those whines turned into whimpers as he began circling your clit with expert precision.

"Mmph, Tech," You moaned. The pressure began building further in your core. "Keep going."

"Does that feel good, mesh'la?" He asked, picking up the speed slightly.

"Y-yes!" You could feel yourself tighten, you knew you were getting close. The pressure in your abdomen getting almost unbearable. "F-fuck, Tech I'm so c–"

Just as you felt yourself about to snap, he withdrew his hand. You squirmed against the console, "Tech, please!"

"You are not the only one capable of torment." You couldn't see him but you knew he was smirking behind you. "That was for making me wait all day for you."

"But I–" any protest you had died on your lips when you felt him line himself up at your entrance.

He pushed his head in, letting you adjust before sinking in the rest of the way. You pushed your hips back into him, trying to feel more of him and he responded by snapping his hips forward.

"Gods, you feel so good around me." He pumped his length into you slowly, and dragged himself out even more so, determined to feel your warmth on every inch of him.

"Go faster, please," You whined. "Please, Tech."

"I am quite content at this pace."

"Please, I'll... I'll never make you wait again I–" you were on the verge of begging.

"And what about those fishermen? You can't stop them from looking at you."

"I'm yours, Tech. Only yours. Only you can make me feel good, only you f-FUCK–" Your pleas were interrupted by him slamming into you, quickening his thrusts.

"Go on." He offered.

"On-only you... can fuck me li-like this," you praised between thrusts.

"And who do you wear these pretty little dresses for?" His asked, pulling at the fabric bunched around your hips.

"Just... just you!"

"You have done well." His grip loosened on your wrists. "You may touch yourself."

Your hand flew to your core, tracing circles around your clit, you moaned into the console as you chased your high.

Tech's hands explored your body, feeling the soft material of your sundress, wanting nothing more than to rip it off of you, but he knew that would make up upset. His hands soon wandered down toward your ass and they began prodding your soft flesh before affixing themselves to your hips.

You heard him groan behind you as your walls began clenching, suffocating his cock. "That's it mesh'la."

His thrusts grew faster, more erratic. He was chasing his own orgasm, spurred on by the feeling of your pussy tightening around him.

You continued circling your clit with your fingers, feeling your own build up once again. Tech's hands dug into your hips, pulling you toward him each time he slammed into you. As you neared your orgasm, his name and praises fell from your lips over and over again, until finally you reached your peak.

You cried out his name as waves of pleasure crashed over you. Your walls squeezed his cock, sending him tumbling over the edge after you.

He stilled as he shot his release into you, moaning as he painting your walls with his seed.

When he pulled out of you, you straightened yourself up, turning to face him as he tucked himself away. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him with such an intensity that it nearly sent him falling backward.

"I'm sorry," You told him after pulling away from the kiss.

His eyes widened, "Do not apologize, I am not upset with you. I would wait years for you, a few hours is nothing."

He smiled at you, leaning down to kiss your neck. You caressed the back of his head as he continued to litter kisses all along your neck. You moaned when you felt his teeth sink into you, before kissing the mark he left.

"And that will be so people know that you are taken."

"Even still, let me make it up to you." Your lips found his again, holding him close to you as you bucked your hips into him.

"Mmm," He moaned into your mouth, feeling himself start to stiffen again. "What did you have in mind?"

You kept eye contact with him as you slowly sank to your knees in front of him. His hands found their way into your hair as you ran your hands up and down his thighs, pulling his blacks down from his hips and kissing the soft skin. You left a trail of kisses leading toward his hardening cock before you took it in your hand, kissing along the side of it, helping to coax it along until he was fully erect.

You kissed his smooth head gently and he shuddered as your breath fanned over it before you took it into your mouth slowly. You gently swirled your tongue around it, tasting both of your juices on him as well as the new beads of pre-cum that leaked from the slit.

He guided your head further and you took more of him into your mouth. Your cheeks hollowed out as you sucked, and his grip on your hair tightened when he felt your tongue tracing the vein on the underside.

"Stars, you are incredible," He praised, his voice shaky. You hum in response, the vibrations eliciting a moan from him.

You took as much of him as you could into your mouth, and when he hit the back of your throat you gagged. This seemed to edge him on, when he felt you choke on his length, he took more control. Guiding your head so that he was essentially fucking your mouth, using you to get his relief.

The way he thrusted into you made drool spill from your lips and down your chin, tears pricked the corner of your eyes, but it also had you moaning around him.

His head fell back in pleasure for a moment as he felt your muffled moans radiate through him, before his gaze turned back to you, looking utterly fucked as you took his cock.

You peered up at him through your lashes as your tongue flattened against the underside of his cock. He let out a shaky breath and his eyebrows knitted together.

Tech could feel his release building up again as you continued to bob your head around him.

He was more delicate with his thrusts, but his pace quickened. He kept a firm grip on your hair, and he once again began chasing after his own high.

It didn't take long from there for him to unravel. His breaths grew unsteady and your name fell from his lips more times than you could register. He thrusted a few more times before he stilled, head falling back once more, a quiet groan escaping his throat and his cock twitched as he shot his release down your throat. You swallowed around him, making sure nothing was wasted, and when he was finished, he slowly pulled himself out.

You hastily wiped your drool away from your mouth and you rose to your feet.

"Am I forgiven?" You asked softly.

"There was nothing to forgive. But your efforts were certainly appreciated." He smirked and clicked off the recording from his goggles.

"You're finished recording already?" You reached up and placed a hand on his cheek as you stepped closer to him.

"Mesh'la, I do not believe I could go another round without rest." He admitted quietly.

"You're right, you could use something to drink. Or maybe to eat?" Your eyes gleamed with mischief once again when you saw the understanding in his. "Why don't we go to my bunk so I can show you everything under my dress, as I promised?"

He leaned toward you, kissing you again. You reached up toward his goggles, pressing the record button before smirking at him and pulling him by the hand toward your bunk.

#the bad batch #tbb #tbb fanfic #the bad batch fanfic #the bad batch fanfiction #tbb tech #tbb tech x reader #tbb tech smut #tech bad batch #tech x reader #tech smut #tech x reader smut #the bad batch x reader #the bad batch smut #tech bad batch x reader #tech x you

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galstelperion · 22 days ago

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hey, alma. i have been following you for a while and i like many of your takes, you always seem level-headed in this fandom, but i think you missed this time around and that post wasn't it. i'm not writing you this to make you feel bad! please, believe me, my intent is not to bring you down or anything of this sort. but the user you were talking about is getting witch hunted by celeb0rn fans, and she made that post because she has been harassed by haladriel-antis and celeb0rn fans for months and months, simply for her interpretations of the show. she never attacked anyone personally, she never rebloged anyone's takes to dismiss them. she just expressed her dislike of celeb0rn fans' own witch hunts and their own insistence that they get galadriel the right way. so it was quite disappointing to see haladriel shipper such as yourself add fuel to the fire that is eating up our fandom right now. turning on each other for celeb0rn is a bit of a waste, isn't it? and we know that the majority of celeb0rn stans aren't genuinely his stans, they are just antis.

i think the fandom is getting more and more toxic, not sure what it is about. im not writing you this so that you answer to this ask, i know you probably weren't coming from a bad place, but i just think this time your post had consequences that you did not intend to happen.

Hello anon, since you seem to be at least cordial, I will respond to this ask and it will be the last time I address this situation:

"we know that the majority of celeb0rn stans aren't genuinely his stans, they are just antis."

This is the root of the problem here. I am saying this in the kindest way possible. Yes, you are allowed to dislike a character. You are even allowed to bash said character in your own spaces. A line is crossed when you make untrue statements like this. The attitude that the majority of "Celeborn stans" who also happen to enjoy Haladriel are just antis is inaccurate and has made a lot of people incredibly uncomfortable. It has made me uncomfortable as someone who is friends with many multishippers who like and explore dynamics with all of these characters involved.

As I said in my original post, I do not ascribe to this all or nothing mentality to shipping or fandom in general. The idea that there is only one right way to like and consume this ship is hurtful and makes many people feel ostracized and unwelcome in this space. I say this as someone who doesn't even care for Celeborn as a character at all and have actively shit talked him around mutuals who agree with me. But I also say this as someone who has been friends with the most incredible Haladriels for 2+ years at this point, Haladriels who have written 100k+ word fanfictions, Haladriels who have dissected and analyzed lore back to front since the early 2000s, who are also interested in exploring Galadriel's dynamic with Celeborn! *gasp* Don't put me in shackles and drag me to the town square but someone who likes a character you don't isn't a crime! It doesn't make them any less of a Haladriel. It doesn't make them "antis in disguise"

This sort of mindset has been permeating the tag for many months now. I never felt inclined to really say anything about it until these broad generalizations were being made by people who I've personally never even seen before here. Like my good friend @nocaptainonthisship has said, "I've been in this fandom since its inception two years ago" isn't a dick measuring contest. It's saying I've been here. I've seen it.

I don't know a whole lot about this account that you're referring to in the ask. I don't even know anything about these people supposedly harassing them either. I don't condone that. I have refrained from @'ing them at all either here or in my original post so as to not to contribute to pile-ons if that is indeed happening. I did block them about a week ago after continuously seeing these actively hostile and confrontational takes about who can and can't be considered a real Haladriel based on their character preferences. Feel free to block me if that is the approach to fandom you want to have. It will certainly never be mine.

#also writing off all people who don't hate Celeborn with a visceral passion as “reddit dudebros”#and then expecting them not to defend themselves from a statement that is very clearly not true is just naive #normal every day multipshippers exist!#they will always exist!!#maybe try having conversations with fandom people outside of your circle idk #haladriel #rant #galadriel #sauron #celeborn

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dracanianwyvern · 10 months ago

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Fuck it. Long post incoming, which hopefully will be my final shit on this whole drama. Below the cut, read if you want.

While yes, you made the tpc tags kerf, that does not mean you can try and gatekeep somebody out of another tag they made. If you don't want to see somebody in a tag you made, just block them. You do not have to gatekeep a tag of a community they are in, it just comes off as rude.

Also, this next bit is directed at both you and cintagonisupset, if you did not want a debate over something you posted make it clear on the post otherwise others will debate with you about it. Also, you both intruded on a conversation between two blogs. Yes it was on one of your posts, but you were not involved in the conversation. You could of handled this situation very differently, but you didn't.

You two instigated the whole drama just by wording a request wrong and then going out of your way to harass those with a different opinion to you, while yes you most likely had your reasonings behind it... it most likely isn't a good enough reason to have done what you did.

Next section? Cintagonisupset, this is mainly about you now.

From what I've heard, you've been an absolute dick to a multitude of people and from the confidence of others speaking up from this current drama, they're speaking up. Not to mention, you haven't given your side of these new issues. So, I cannot even be in your side for all this drama from the hole you have dug yourself into here. Karma is collecting your debts, and OH BOY will it be messy. You did this to yourself, nobody can help you now.

Dulcetmoony, don't think your getting off the hook either.

You had said you were willing to talk it out with those you affected, only to apologise and then block goldy before they could respond. You weren't involved from the start, yet you jumped in anyway to defend your friends. I get that, but you could have been WAY MORE civil about it. But you weren't, and here we are instead.

I'm willing to tear into myself here too., I know I'm not above what I've contributed.

I got involved, I sent an anon hate ask which I still regret even though the one I sent it too has forgiven me for it. I got involved by sending the information to prettybeegkittykat via some asks, therefore "stirring the pot" [captain-kretsnik's words, not mine] more then it already had been. I caused myself to loose a mutual over this, however in my eyes? I shouldn't be blaming myself for a good portion of this, yet I am. Plus, I had been planning on creating art for captain-kretsnik at some point. Never got round to it.

Finally, a message to all involved.

This could have been handled alot better then it was, but now? Now we've got to deal with the pit we all helped dig, and karma will not let it go by cleanly for some. This is one deep pit, and it appears it might go deeper. I've already tried to fill in my contribution to this hole, both with the two past posts relating to it and now this one. I hope you all can do the same.

#loooong post #vent ish #tpc drama

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autistichalsin · 1 year ago

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I'm sorry to tell you that but I'm also a Halsin fan and I'm just tired of all the drama that shows up on your Tumblr and Twitter. Please don't treat it as a hate comment but I've come here to see Halsin headcanons and scenarios, the things you shared with us so generously back then.

I know it might be hard to let go and move on, not batting a lash at the drama that's happening but I think you should try and tone it down a little. Most of the time, your socials are flooded with your quarrel with Minthara psycho fanclub. I know they're annoying but you can block them, instead of responding to them. In the end, they'll get bored and move to the other bait activities. You replying to them only fuels them even more.

I don't mean it as offense. I know it's sometimes hard to just ignore other people and focus on what you love (I'm autistic myself). Some people blocked you not because of you disliking Minthara but because you get into drama too much instead of blocking those trolls. I don't want my fav mutual with more focus on some toxic baiters then the passion they have for certain things/characters.

Please stay safe and think about it.

Please don't take this as hate either but like.

"Back then"? Buddy it's been like three days and I still AM posting Halsin analyses (which by the way, is also one of the things those folks have been harassing me for, to the point of block evasion, on Twitter)

"Most of the time?" On this site, I've responded to a few things here and there. And on Twitter, I've been responding- again- to de facto harassment. I get that you like my Halsin posts and that makes me so happy to hear, legitimately, but if you really are going to get angry at me for responding to being harassed, then I feel like you are showing far more concern for fictional characters than for me, and that is deeply hurtful. I am a real person, not a machine to make you Halsin content. It is deeply unfair to see that people are being nasty to me, and then tell ME, to my face, that I should stop engaging because it means YOU see less of the Halsin content you like. If the harassment got to me and I stopped making those posts entirely, would you be upset because you weren't seeing Halsin essays anymore, or would you be upset because a real person got chased off? Sorry to put it that bluntly, but based on this one comment, I am getting the impression it would be the former.

"I don't want my fav mutual..." I certainly don't feel like your "favorite mutual" based on this ask. I really am flattered that you like my content, but this ask has made me feel like you don't see me as a human being at all; I feel like you're angry that you're having to "put up" with me having human emotions on my own Twitter.

Why did you think it was in any way helpful or necessary to mention getting blocked? I don't care if people block me to curate their feed. Did you think I would... start groveling to be unblocked or something? I block liberally too. And if you weren't the one to block me, this also carries an implication of you like... talking about me behind my back to whoever did, and, guess what, the idea of being talked about is also REALLY uncomfortable for me as an autistic person. So... again. Why was this so important to tell me?

I know you said you didn't mean any offense, anon. But if you really are my mutual, I have to say, I am... not offended, but this ask hurt my feelings. A lot. Maybe you didn't mean it that way, and I am trying to give this the benefit of a doubt since you're also autistic- maybe you just didn't realize how your words would come across? But this is where it stands right now, after this ask.

If you don't enjoy the discourse, that's fine. I get that a lot of people are bothered by this outbreak of drama (INCLUDING ME), and I've been trying to step away from it despite what has been said to and about me. And if you were just asking me to make a tag for discourse or something, I would simply have done it without a word. But this response is deeply hurtful to me. I feel like the idea that I have been hurt by the stuff on Twitter and on here isn't even registering to you.

And I hate to say it, but I have to: this ask, more than anything the Minty fans have said or done so far, is making me want to not produce any more Halsin content for a while. I was fully aware it's primarily the Halsin stuff I make that people like, but... I don't know if I want to make more, if people are going to start acting like I owe it to them to make this content, and to make ONLY this content, and to make it ONLY in the exact way they like. If people want these written by someone/something whose only purpose is to write, ChatGPT exists.

Again, sorry if you didn't realize you came off this way, anon, but this was actually really hurtful, especially considering the timing, and even more so because you wouldn't even say this to me off anon.

#discourse

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hazely-sims · 2 years ago

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15 questions for 15 mutuals

I was tagged by @simstryingtheirbestok and @elvgreen - thank you so much! I love talking about myself hahahaha

I have no idea who's done this or been tagged but I'll tag a bunch of people. Please feel free to ignore me for literally any reason! 15 is so many ahhhh I already feel sorry

@pixelevia, @tealplumbobs, @treason-and-plot, @dandylion240, @simssaga, @monets-pixels, @twitchesandtics, @nikkeisimmer, @bioniczombie, @aisquaredchoco, @faeriefrolic, @echoweaver, @cas-sims, @happy-lemon, and @berrydreamland

are you named after anyone? My middle name is my great-grandmother's name, but spelled differently for some reason.

when was the last time you cried? Just now I inhaled my tea and coughed so hard I cried lmao

do you have kids? Nope

do you use sarcasm a lot? I don't think so. I try to only use it when it's really obvious that I'm being sarcastic. Honestly I feel like sarcasm is often unhelpful or even harmful because the actual thing that's true never gets said, so I usually respond to any and all comments with a serious answer by default. People make fun of me but I'd rather be the idiot who didn't get the sarcasm than the jerk who laughed when you weren't joking.

what sports do you play/have you played? I am so, so bad at sports, but I did play recreational soccer for a few years around the age of 9. I would not do it again.

what’s the first thing you notice about other people? What they look like? I feel like there's not just one thing. Everyone has different distinctive features, right?

scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. I don't necessarily mind if a good story has a sad ending, but I hate scary movies. Horror is a really wide genre and there are many types of it that I can appreciate and even enjoy, but I don't like movies/games/etc. that are just scary for the sake of being scary. I do not find being scared entertaining at all.

any special talents? I play the violin but I don't know if it's a 'special talent' since it's kind of my job? I'm pretty good at singing though even though I've never had training.

where were you born? I'm from... Canada.

what are your hobbies? I mean, the Sims 3, obviously. I try to have that be my only hobby honestly because I only have so much time, but recently some of you internet nerds got me watching kpop videos... one deep, long rabbithole later and I'm obsessed with these dorks (exclusively) but also still watching other performances (by groups I do not care about) and a bunch of angsty Korean BL dramas. Who am I.

do you have any pets? Yes, I have a grey and white cat who is perfect in every way

wow tall are you? 5′2''

fav subject in school? English, and any performance or pop culture classes.

dream job? I also don't really believe in dream "jobs" but if I could get paid an actual livable wage with the job I have (I teach English) then that would come close. But I also love performing with other people so acting or music would also be a dream job if it didn't also have to be, like, a job.

eye colour? Hazel... 👀

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nightzskii · 6 months ago

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I'm not deleting every post uugh

★ EDIT: Finally making a new pinned post ❜

SHORT INTRO; Hello! I'm panda/nightskii who alsp goes by maxwell (max for short.) My age will always be in my bio but my birthday is April 6th. I go by he/him and also they/it but I really don't mind just he/him!!! This blog is centered around art or just me reblogging important or self indulging posts! Yoyo ^_^

LONG INTRO UNDER CUT!

AN INTRODUCTION — @nightzskii

Hello, and welcome to my blog!! ^_^ I'm nightzskii [otherwise known as max/maxwell or panda].

— I use other names like Rock, Nini, Len, Craig, and many others that I'll say you can use! I'm a name hoarder, I love names.

☆; My activity on tumblr isn't much, I don't post and when I do it's not really for this blog.. I gotta get used to posting again..??! I might make a blog for all my ocs and characters and their reference sheets. I'll try to respond to mutuals/friends when I can faster than I would with strangers, but sometimes my ability to do such a thing is nonexistent. It's not on any of you!

☆; I'm Black and Puerto Rican! This is what I know because my mom told me. I CANNOT SPEAK OR UNDERSTAND SPANISH!!!?? I can say a few words [only like. two.] and understand SOME phrases, but I lost my ability to understand Spanish since I'm always around people who speak ENGLISH. I do want to relearn however, but I also want to learn Japanese!

☆; I do have disorders that effect(affect??!?) my daily life and how I perceive and understand things. I struggle with some social clues, but I'm not going to force anyone to use tone-tags, I'll just guess and respond!

☆; YOU MAY BE WONDERING WHY PAST POSTS HAVE SYSTEM STUFF IN IT!!! It's because I AM a systsm. I don't use this blog for system stuff anymore however, and I'll be @'ing most blogs I have that's NOT private! Including my altermate's blogs. I am the main host and have been here for the longest!

☆; YOU CAN USE THEY/IT OR ANY OTHER PRONOUNS BESIDE [SHE/HER] ON ME!! I may be seen using he/him for myself, but I'm not that picky on pronouns. I'm agender, and I do NOT care what term is being used for me, including feminine ones! You can call me any word with fems in mind. I don't care.

☆; Any carrds, rentrys, etc I have will be linked/put inna masterlist that I gotta fix. Thank you for your time on this part! edit; hi we have strawpage now

i also have mt personal strawpage here

MY BOUNDARIES — @nightzskii

* VIOLENT syscourse/[pro] endos/non traumagenic ((Let's not harass or be rude to each other. help.))

★; DNI [CHECK STRAWPAGE FOR UPDATED DNI] [pro] Zoos/[No]Maps, Anti Mogai/lgbtqa+phobic, Racist/Colorist, Sexist/Misogynistic, Ableist/Discrimatory, Kink/Nsfw blogs, * Violent Syscourse/[Pro] endos/non traumagenic, [Pro] Ddlg+varients, HARMFUL TransID/Radqueers + anything in that corner, Pro harassment/Pro Misinformation, Villainization + Romanticizing Disorders, Violently religious, GENUINELY WEIRD stans & Fans, Anti age/pet regression. PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT.

★; If you make jokes you can't make [examples being making a joke about being; a black slave when you're white, r//ped (a) when you weren't, m//lest//d (o, e) when you weren't, anything historical when it's not YOUR history] then please DON'T INTERACT EITHER! I can appreciate a "dark joke" when it's something you can actually joke about.

★; If you use AI to steal/generate/etc peoples actual hard working designs, then don't interact. Stay in your cage

★; IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ME OR FEEL UPSET ABOUT WHATEVER I DID/DO/HAVE DONE/ETC, TELL ME! I don't mind talking about it and I'd rather to not strain any friendships if its something that can be talked about!

FINAL NOTES — @nightzskii

☆; I do have old blogs STILL flying about that was WAY BEFORE I FOUND OUT I WAS A SYSTEM! Some of those blogs were made by myself before i "molded" [fused, but I don't know I should use that word???] with the old OLD host at the time who ALSO ran those blogs. OUR VIEWS FROM IT HAVE CHANGED BY NOW! If you find it and link it back to us, feel free to @ the blogs its so funny looking back.

☆; I will NOT talk much about being a system with other disorders on this blog. that's for a different one!!

— BLOGS I'VE MADE! ❜

@dazyskiie-luv [writing] & @nightzskiiauz [my aus/stories]

@bluestoneau & @horrorrversee [au]

@twisteddescendants & @kufflesdiamond & @huntersscythe [twst]

@stars4-max & @hoardzskii [personal]

@moon-loves-genders [have to fix it!!] & @wat-da-hell-iz [inactive currently] & @dabackroms [inactive currently]

@vampbitesfr & @howlin4uu [monster rp accounts, inactive currently! refixing.]

— SYSTEM BLOGS! ❜

@snowdinne [MAIN SYS SIDE BLOG.]

@haruutalks & @cinooscatcafe

@ventifool & @scarafool

@ecplises-mailman & @devildomduzt (all blogs for now!)

#nightzskii draws #starduzt talks —📂#☆☆☆#JULY 5TH. 2024 #max🪐#JULY 10TH. 2024.#max still...

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takiki16 · 10 months ago

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FIC 20 QUESTIONS

@gallifreyburning tagged me in this!

1. how many works do you have on Ao3?

Ten! I am a prolific reader, but not so much a writer.

2. what's your total Ao3 word count?

253,223. Holy moly. I remember when cranking out 1500 words was a lot for me. I never expected to break that Big Phat 100k, which is yet another reason gallifreyburning is the wind beneath my wings. Half of those words are hers.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

The Old Guard and Jupiter Ascending are my two most dominant fandoms per stats. I've also written for Mad Max, the MCU, Leverage, and The Man from Uncle (the 2015 movie), but I wouldn't call these my most active reading fandoms.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

If Never Again, If Every Day (cowritten with gallifreyburning, TOG)

Kiss With a Fist (cowritten with gallifreyburning, TOG)

A Fine Chain (JA)

and sat him doon at her bed feet (Leverage)

breathes there the man (TMFU)

lolllll no surprises here.

5. do you respond to comments?

Unfortunately not. When all of my fics were relatively short and I only got a handful of comments on each one, I replied individually to each comment. However, we have THOUSANDS of comments on INAIED, and although I've replied to some of the particularly consistent and wonderful commenters, there is no way for me to get all of them. However, please know that they are all loved.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

and reason quite decay, for Mad Max. It's a pre-canon snippet to the 2015 movie, about how Max lost the little girl he keeps hallucinating. I was very, very much into the "all lower caps, title is a line from a poem" aesthetic. Still am, to be honest, but A Fine Chain is just CONSUMING me atm.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

and sat him doon at her bed feet is a triptych of each of the Leverage OT3 being a selkie and getting together with the OT3, so that's technically three happy endings in one, but our INAIED boys worked so hard for their payoff that I have to put them first.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have been lucky enough to avoid this so far!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've written a grand total of like...two smut scenes, both of them m/m, but DEPENDING on how much longer I can tolerate the slow burn of A Fine Chain, I may be writing something f/m in the near-ish future!

now private chats between mutuals about IMAGINED character smut, on the other hand...

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't write crossovers - they generally don't appeal to me as a reader so I avoid them as a writer.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know, and I hope and pray it never happens to me. INAIED got a few weird pings last year, but so far I've been very very lucky.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have gotten a request or two, but I don't remember if a translation was ever posted?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

LOLLLLLLL. If it weren't for @gallifreyburning i would still be languishing at 5-something chapters of AFC and a handful of fics, and I would never have written for TOG at all.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Harsh, bro. I don't think I have a very favorite ship, but I definitely have favorite dynamics. See my "you are responsible forever for what you have tamed" tag

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Much Nothing About an Ado. My post-canon Mad Max fic where Max comes back to the Citadel and Furiosa decides to Hit That, but in the sexy way this time. But hey! I thought that It would take another decade to finish A Fine Chain, and I am ROLLING!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Mmmmfdfnggg. Umm...I'm very good at long, flowery descriptions, and at grounding clips of dialogue to specific physicality and setting, I think? When I want to write something, I usually see a movie of what I want to write playing out in my head, and then I have to figure out how to translate those actions to the page in a way that accurately conveys the action and tone. I block out the scene in bullet points first, then bang out a loose first draft, then go back over everything and rewrite it from the top, trying to make sure that someone reading it would see and feel the same things I did when watching the movie in my head.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

TOO MUCH FLOWERY DESCRIPTION. Sometimes I get lost in the movie in my head. Also, my crippling fear of intimacy sometimes translates to being hesitant to get to the actual climax of the story. I have to have acres and acres of slow burn, or I'm writing a single poetic one-shot with artsy film blur. This is where a good co-author is worth their weight in gold - you can't get away with kicking the can forever.

Also - I need to see if this still happens in AFC, but I feel like I rush through smut, and sometimes that pr0n deserves to be LINGERED UPON.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's nice, if it's used correctly! It's off-putting, if not.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

OOF. I saw the first Tobey Maguire Spiderman as a wee babe, and wrote an absolutely passionate proto-whump fic about it in my spiral notebook along with some very bad illustrations.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

INAIED is a Lifetime Achievement (TM) for me, the thing that makes me genuinely frustrated I can't brag to my coworkers about the massive novel I co-authored. I will be proud of it forever and ever and ever. I own a physical bound copy of it, and take it out every now and again to look at it fondly. I Helped Write That Thing. It is dear to my heart.

#my posts #relevant to my life #my writing

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pmwritesandpoems · 1 year ago

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A Timeless Hogwarts Legacy: Sparks Fly (4/16)

Fandom: Hogwarts Legacy Main Title: A Timeless Hogwarts Legacy Pairing: Ominis Gaunt/Original Female Character Tags: Romance; Hurt/Comfort; Angst; Fluff; Friendship; Mutual Pining

Chapter: 4/16 Title: Sparks Fly Word count: 9,973

Last Chapters: AO3 (All Chapters): AO3 Tumblr: Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3

Last Chapter Preview: “It's too late for me.” Evelyn whispered, her vision blurred with tears.

“It’s never too late.” Ominis rubbed his thumb on the back of her hand. “Who you are is not what you did, Evelyn Rose. At least not to me.”

Evelyn felt like she was struck by lightning as she heard Ominis. The tears cannot be contained anymore. She let go of his hands and swiftly wrapped her arms around him, overtaken with emotion. Which was quickly returned by the blind Slytherin.

“You’re still an Innocent.” He whispered to her as she cried her heart out on his shoulder.

Reminder:

I won't mention the main character house, you could choose her house yourself

You could change my original character name with yours, I’ll try my best to not mention her skin, hair, and eye colour so you could match it with your own.

I am no expert of the Victorian era, the use of the calendar system, etiquette, and many other things from the said era are changed as I see fit to support the story. Several insertions of modern era culture will be present as well to support the story.

You could also read this on AO3.

Enjoy!

p.s. please don't hesitate to comment if you'd like!

4. Sparks Fly

Late Winter, Early 1891

Evelyn found herself climbing the stairs of the Defence Against the Dark Arts tower in the middle of the night once more. The last time she did this was a few days ago, when she ran into Ominis out of the blue, and ended up confessing her greatest sin in tears.

Her cheeks flushed as the memory of her weeping in his arms flashed through her head. She couldn’t stop herself from blushing every time she saw him after that. It was so humiliating that she felt obligated to avoid ominis for a few days. And how difficult it was to do.

He was everywhere. In the classroom, the corridors, the courtyard, and even at the most remote corner in the library. Every time Evelyn came to a room, he was there. It was almost as though fate was punishing her more. She also had to be terrified of humiliating herself to death in front of him, as if the terrors from her nightmares weren't enough. The terrors that have led her here, wandering in the halls in her nightgown again. The only difference was she wore it with a robe this time.

She only wanted to get some sleep beneath the open skies in her coastal vivarium. Merlin help her if she gets any surprise meetings tonight.

Hoping desperately in her heart, Evelyn continued her journey and tried her best to be as silent as possible when she passed another patrolling prefect. She didn't know why, but they had seemed to increase in number tonight, making it rather difficult for her to move unnoticed. Afraid of getting caught and put into detention, she cast the disillusionment charm on herself and continued her covert voyage.

Her steps halted as she entered a hallway with a tapestry on one side. She looked around carefully. After, and only after she was sure there was not a single soul around except herself, she dispelled the charm.

“Having a nightmare again?”

“AH!” Evelyn screamed in surprise. She looked to her right, where a boy with a pulsating red wand appeared out of nowhere. How could she not notice him? Did he cast a disillusionment charm on himself?

“How—”

“Is anyone there?” A sound from the hallway behind her interrupted Evelyn. She didn’t even get a chance to respond as she felt the boy grab her hand after hearing the same voice and pull her along with him, running away from the sound with his wand in front as a guide through the darkness.

Evelyn felt her legs ache as she struggled to match the boy’s pace. It was certainly not fair for her since his step was twice as far as hers. He suddenly turned right, and Evelyn almost stumbled when she took her third step following him, bringing them both to a standstill.

“What is that?!” Evelyn whispered, annoyed, as she tried to see clearly in the darkness. When did it get so dark, she didn’t know. The red light from her partner's wand currently wasn’t enough for her eyes to clearly see what made her almost fall to the floor.

“Stairs,” the boy said quickly as he tightened his grip on her hand, “be careful.”

“Thanks for the warning,” she replied sarcastically and continued to complain in a whisper, “is it so hard to cast Lumos?!”

“Like that could’ve helped me.” The boy answered. The sarcasm and roll of the eyes from the blind boy were not missed by Evelyn. She was going to take her own wand from her pocket when—

“Hello?” Another voice could be heard approaching from the hall they just left, followed by nearing footsteps, stopping her movement.

“Lumos,” the boy whispered to his wand. The crimson light from the tip of it shined brighter under his command, illuminating the surroundings and allowing Evelyn to see the stairs in front of her under its warm glow. Without wasting any more time, the boy tugged on their intertwined hands and began to climb the stairs expertly with his wand in front of him. In panic of being caught, she swiftly followed the boy up with the crimson light helping her to see.

They climbed up for a while until the boy finally stopped and extinguished the light from his wand, causing it to glow like usual. Evelyn felt anxiety as she saw the light dim. She turned, just to see the once-lit stairwell turn dark again, making it nearly impossible for her to see more than five steps below. She couldn’t see if the previous person who followed them had already caught them up or not. Merlin help her if they did, detention was not on her list to do tonight, tomorrow, or ever.

With his hand still holding hers, Evelyn felt the boy turn around. She turned back to find him tilting his head towards the stairs, concentrating with his eyes closed and his brow furrowed. In curiosity, she turned towards the stairs again and did the same. He must have heard something Evelyn definitely couldn’t since his posture became relaxed after a few seconds.

“We’re good,” he let go of Evelyn's hand, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Evelyn answered shyly. A brisk wind passed through her. Confused by it, she turned and finally saw the place he had taken her to. The spinning orbs made from steel were surely a dead giveaway of where she was. She exclaimed in disbelief as she realised she was back to the place of her last embarrassment with the one who she was embarrassed with.

“Here!? Again!?”

“I would lower my voice if I were you.” The boy spoke calmly as he walked to the table near the chalkboard.

Evelyn huffed, “You’ve said that we’re good.”

“We’re good, but your voice could still echo down,” The boy hovered his wand over the table in front of him, “lower it down, at least until you get further from the stairs.”

Evelyn sighed and approached the boy before asking in a normal voice. “Why did you bring me here, Ominis?”

“You can go back to the hall and be caught in detention if you like,” Ominis answered curtly with his back on Evelyn.

“I—”

“Or you can stay here until they’re gone.” His interruption came still in a curt manner as he turned. Evelyn could see his left hand holding a stick that was tied to a jar with a rope. The jar emitted a blue glow. Pale blue, similar to his eyes.

“Bluebell flames.” Evelyn said as she saw the familiar makeshift lantern they had left behind.

Ominis extended his lantern-wielding hand towards her indignantly. “To keep you warm. If you decide to stay.”

“Thank you,” she took the Bluebell Flames lantern from him with trembling hands, “I-I’ll stay.”

“Well then, I shall leave you alone.” He said quickly, pointed his wand towards the stairs and began to walk towards them.

“Wait!” Evelyn called, stopping him from taking any more steps. She approached him and said timidly, “You could…wait here with me. If you’d like.”

Sarcasm could be heard in Ominis's voice. “Would you?�� he tilted his head towards her, “like it when I’m near?”

“Of course I—”

“I don’t think so,” interrupted Ominis. His voice came to a whisper as he continued, “Because you certainly don't for the past few days.”

“I—”

Ominis abruptly moved his body towards her. "Why are you avoiding me?" He asked sharply.

“What—”

“Why?” He cut her off again, his voice full of distress. “Is it something I've done?” He quickly added. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, Ominis,” she answered with regret. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”

"Then why?" he said, his voice filled with desperate anger. Evelyn panicked and blurted out the first thing that came to her.

“I’m ashamed. I cried my heart out to you, and burdened you with my troubling mind when you already had enough problems,” she hung her head, “I am sorry.”

“Am I not your friend?” Ominis asked with his arms crossed over his chest, clearly annoyed.

Evelyn looked up, surprised to hear the question. The crimson glow from his wand made him appear scary, prompting her to gaze down once again.

“You are.” She answered timidly.

“Then why are you ashamed of telling me your problems? Why are you ashamed to cry in front of me?” Ominis demanded angrily. “Isn’t that what friends are meant to do?” he lowered his hands and took a step closer, “come to each other’s aid?”

Evelyn lowered her head further. “It is.”

“Then why?” he asked, both of his hands fell on either side, hanging dejectedly.

In all honesty, Evelyn didn’t know either. She really thought it was the embarrassment of realising someone knew your deepest, darkest secret. She couldn’t stop herself from blushing every time she saw him after doing exactly that. But when he put it like that, the answer became void in her head too. They are friends. It’s what friends are meant to do, isn’t it? Share each other's secrets? Comfort and aid one another when they are in need?

She listened and soothed Sebastian when he wallowed in his guilt over his uncle’s death. She listened and comforted Poppy when she cried about missing her parents. She listened and accompanied Natty when she’s upset because she remembered her late father. Why was it any different when she’s the one being listened to and consoled? Why was it different when Ominis did it to her?

“I don’t know either, Ominis.” She answered dejectedly. “But I always feel embarrassed everytime I’m near you since the last time we met…” Evelyn said, her voice trailing off as she looked at the particular edge where she and Ominis embraced each other tightly the other night, her cheeks getting hotter by the second, “here.”

“Then stop avoiding me and let me help.” He commanded angrily. When he didn’t hear any reaction from her, he sighed tiredly and pleaded, “I almost lost a friend. Don't put me through the agony of believing I'm about to lose another one.”

Guilt struck Evelyn like a Graphorn. Hearing Ominis’s plea made her realise how selfish she was. She hadn't considered how her avoidance of him might hurt him. She solely considered what was best for her and ignored his feelings. He must have been lonely since Sebastian and he still weren't on good terms. And with her avoiding him…he was alone.

Evelyn raised her head and looked straight at him.

“I’m sorry,” she apologised with all her heart. “I’m so sorry, Ominis.”

“It’s all right. Just…” Ominis said, trailing off as he took a deep breath. “Don’t do it again. Tell me right away if you have any problems, even if it's because of me.”

“I will,” Evelyn nodded, “I promise.”

“All right then,” Ominis nodded and walked to the same edge where they embraced just a couple days ago, “we best get comfortable, those prefects would be patrolling here for a while before they head to the other side of the castle after the commotion you made.”

Evelyn’s face began to warm up again as her mind decided to relieve the memory of being embraced by him. How she felt his warmth through layers of clothing, how she felt his hands gently caressed her back, and how she felt his breath so close to her as he whispered soothing reassurance to her weeping self.

“Are you avoiding me again?”

Ominis, already seated on the edge, legs dangling like he had done a few days before, woke her up from her reverie.

“No.” She answered indignantly and added in a much lower voice, whispering, “I’m just too flushed to be near you right now.”

“Pardon?” Ominis asked with his head tilted towards her. Panic rushed in Evelyn’s veins as she realised he might have heard what she said.

“N-Nothing.” She quickly replied and tried her best to forget her previous thoughts and change the topic as she approached him.

“Anyway,” she put the bluebell flame lantern on the space on his left and began to sit down beside him, the lantern separating them, “what were you doing?”

“I was actually on a secret mission of my own before you barged in with your noisy steps,” Ominis said. He said it so seriously that Evelyn instantly believed it.

“Secret mission?” She asked in pure curiosity.

“It’s a secret, so I can’t tell you,” he said quietly and continued with regret, “sorry.”

“Is that why you were hiding when I came to the hallway?” Evelyn whispered. She didn’t know why, but she felt like she was supposed to.

“Yes, don’t tell anyone about it. Otherwise, you'll be cursed before you've even said a single word.”

Evelyn believed him. With the ominous threat, she truly did. Until she saw the corner of his lips began to tremble as he tried to contain his laugh.

“Oh, you’re mean!” Evelyn hit his left shoulder playfully as she realised she had been tricked.

“Hey!” Ominis exclaimed between his chuckles, as he rubbed his left shoulder that she hit, “it was a secret mission!”

“Ah…A secret illegal mission,” Evelyn teased as she played along with Ominis’s scheme. “A gaunt heir wandering the halls of Hogwarts at night,” she stroked her chin thoughtfully, “what could he possibly be doing?”

“Not illegal in ‘going to a secret chamber and letting out a monster to kill everyone’ way,” he said while still rubbing his shoulder. “It was more of an illegal ‘I need to get out and get some air when I am forbidden to’ way.”

That came out of nowhere. Of course, Evelyn’s mind focused on the one thing she found so strange to be told as a comparison.

“Hogwarts has a secret chamber that holds a monster?!”

“Uh…no?” Ominis replied nervously. Which made Evelyn more inclined to believe that it was a fact rather than a lie. Hogwarts had to have a secret chamber, containing a monster that could kill everyone in the school.

“Liar.” Evelyn said while squinting in disbelief at Ominis.

“Tell me about the cave where you defeated Ranrok, and I’ll tell you about the chamber,” Ominis offered.

That made Evelyn's eyes go wide. She clearly didn’t expect him to ask her about it. Everyone in the school knew about the battle, but they never asked her. They probably didn’t know why Ranrok came and invaded Hogwarts, or why she was there. Let alone suggest that she’s the one who defeated him. The professors probably told some stories to cover it up, and she certainly didn’t know a thing about it. How could he possibly know about it?

Screw it. She preferred to not know about the chamber at all rather than tell him about the magic repository and the whole story following it. It was certainly not on her agenda today to talk about it and cause a ruckus with the professors, who tried their best to keep it secret.

“Next topic!” she said in panic. “How come I didn’t see you earlier?”

Ominis chuckled at her panic before continuing, “I thought you were a prefect, so I hid myself in the shadows,” he answered casually. “Being blind and accustomed to the darkness has its perks,” he added. “And also, perhaps you couldn’t because I commanded my wand to stop pulsing its waves.”

“You could do it?!”

“Of course,” Ominis shrugged. “It might have its own ‘mind’, but it still listens and obeys me. I told it to stop and became completely ‘blind’ for a few seconds before I realised it was you.”

“I see….” Evelyn said. Her voice trailing off as she tried to think what else she could ask him.

“You haven’t told me your answer yet.” Ominis said out of the blue.

“My answer to what?”

“Are you having a nightmare again?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” Evelyn answered tiredly. She sighed, “but I got used to it by now.”

“It won’t go away soon.”

The way Ominis said it made Evelyn feel sad. He said it like he knew how it felt. As if he had experienced it himself. She wondered whether the secret mission he had before had something to do with his own battle against nightmare dread. But decided not to ask about it. It’s not exactly her place to ask about it when she also kept it a secret from him and avoided him after she finally told him about it. He would tell her if he wanted too.

“You sound so sure about it.”

“I know it,” Ominis sighed and smiled softly, “But I’m here to help.” He tilted his head towards her, emphasising the genuineness in his voice even more, “if you need it.”

Evelyn smiled, “Thank you, Ominis.”

“And I also wanted to help you figure out your…discomfort around me,” he continued, resolute in his voice. “What do you usually do to calm yourself? Perhaps I could help you in doing so, or simply remind you to do so whenever you feel nervous around me.”

Evelyn was moved by his sincere desire to help her. She felt a peculiar flutter in her chest as she smiled at the genuine friend beside her. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to calm herself by focusing on the breeze that blew softly. Being in the same exact position when she cried her heart out to him before surely brought a lot of feelings inside her.

Here she was, making him do something for her again for the sake of friendship when she hadn’t even given him anything except being a poor one for him. The one who gave her comfort, when all she gave him was hurt.

“I used to count to eighteen,” Evelyn said.

“Why?”

Still closing her eyes, she answered, “Well, my birthday is on the eighteenth of November, my house number is eighteen, and the legal age is eighteen. I guess I just like eighteen.”

Silence came until Ominis spoke timidly, “My birthday is on the eighteenth too. The eighteenth of January.”

Opening her eyes in shock, Evelyn turned her head to the right all of a sudden, accidentally whipping the poor boy’s face with her hair, “Hey, it is today!”

She then grimaced when she saw him rubbing his cheeks, “Oh Merlin, I’m so sorry!” Her right hand cupped his left cheek, trying to soothe the pain she caused. With her focus only on the handsome face in front of her, Evelyn didn’t even realise she kept her hands on his cheek longer than she should. A soft smile bloomed in her face as she gazed at his face—a smile that, sadly, he would never see.

“Happy birthday, Ominis.” She continued to rub his left cheek. “I’m sorry I didn’t congratulate you sooner.”

She felt him smile and heard his shy voice in response, “Thank you. And It’s okay. There aren’t many who know anyway.”

Then, realisation came to Evelyn like a graphorn. She quickly dropped her hand from his cheek and put it above her lap, her head down with shame at her own behaviour—which she actually didn’t regret a bit.

“I really am sorry.” She apologised again for being late to congratulate him and also, for her last behaviour. Thank Merlin he couldn’t see her right now. Her cheek was probably as red as a tomato. “You’ve been my friend for more than half a year, and I never asked. Sebastian has most likely prepared your present from a month ago and ready to hand it to you at breakfast later.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have known, since I am currently distancing myself from him right now. As you know, I’m still trying to process all the feelings from…”

Evelyn could feel the sadness herself and didn’t need any more explanation. “Yeah, me too.” She sighed and took a deep breath. “From now on, I will be the first person who congratulates you every year.” She promised.

“I would like that. If it doesn’t bother you.” Ominis answered timidly. Evelyn couldn’t help but smile as she saw his hopeful face.

“It doesn’t. I’d be happy too,” She said. Silence came again between them until Evelyn groaned, “Ugh, but I still don’t have any presents for you right now!”

“It really is okay, Eve,” Ominis said gently without any hint of disappointment.

“But I wanted to give you one!” She protested. Frustration could be heard as she continued, “And just my luck, I already promised Poppy I would help her after class this afternoon! I can’t go to Hogsmeade without breaking the curfew.” She sighed and began to sway her dangling feet back and forth, thinking hard, until suddenly... she jumped!

Her mind lit up, she stood straight from her previous place at the edge of the astronomy observation deck. “But I still can go and come back in time if I use the floo powder and run as fast as I can after it!” She exclaimed and then started to rapidly question the startled boy beside her, “Ominis, what do you want? A cake? A book? THE new book of the Nightingale collection? Oh! You probably want something sweet. How about your favourite Honeydukes fudge? I could go to the—”

Evelyn stopped as she felt a hand holding her right arm. The hand then moved down carefully as if trying to find something. It stopped when it found Evelyn’s right hand and clasped it tenderly. Evelyn was dazed, her mind still comprehending what had just happened. THAT was out of the blue. She had reason to cup his cheek and quickly withdrew her hand. But THIS?

She heard Ominis chuckle and say, “I am grateful that you’re willing to break the curfew for me. But…” He trailed off as he pulled her back down. She followed the tug, her gaze focused only on their intertwined hands, and sat in her previous place beside him. “I have a better idea,” he continued.

“Wh-what?” Evelyn stuttered as she still felt his hand holding hers even after she sat. His rather rough but warm hands enveloped hers. Her face couldn’t be more red.

“Let me use your technique to calm down.”

After hearing his request, Evelyn's gaze moved to his face, just to see a bright smile adorn it. That caused her mind to become blank. “Huh?”

Ominis chuckled. “Would you mind if I used your count to eighteen technique whenever I needed to calm myself down? As my birthday gift?”

“W-Why?” Evelyn asked in confusion. She really didn’t have a single idea why he preferred such a gift.

“I just like eighteen.” He shrugged and then rubbed his thumb on her hand, “Like you.”

Evelyn's brain refused to work as she felt his soothing touch, “Uh...huh?”

“O…kay?”

Seeing Ominis’s eyebrow raised with concern after he heard her dumb response woke her dead brain. Clearing her throat, and trying as best as she could to not think about their still entwined hands, Evelyn answered with more certainty, “Okay. I wouldn’t mind.”

“Good.” He smiled. “If I may suggest, you probably should start to count now. I could feel and hear your heartbeat accelerating at an alarming pace.” He chuckled. “I can’t have you become brain-dead every time I do this.” Ominis raised their clasped hands.

Evelyn laughed out loud, and he quickly joined. Swaying her dangling feet back and forth, she felt her heart full as the wind breezed through her hair softly, her hand still holding his.

“I’ll try not to.” Evelyn said with a smile. The strange flutter in her chest came back in full force as she remembered what they were doing. “W-Will you do it often?” She asked nervously, gesturing to their intertwined hands.

"I won’t if you don't want me to." He spoke gently.

“I…”

Evelyn's voice trailed off as she battled to put her emotions into words. She wanted to tell him that when he did it, she felt something within. She wanted to tell him that seeing his hand move towards hers made her stomach flip, that she felt flutters in her chest as she felt his warm skin against hers, that she felt dizzy from all the blood that flowed to her cheeks every time their hands finally entwined. And yet, it also brought her peace of mind, it brought her warmth, and most importantly, it brought her happiness.

She wanted to tell him that she didn't understand the sensation she felt, but it was just what she desired. She wanted to tell him, she needed it.

Thus, as Evelyn felt his hand begin to slip away, her grasp tightened in response, refusing to let go.

“I want to,” she said sheepishly, holding his hand tightly, “i-it calms me down.”

“Then I’d be glad to do it,” Ominis said with a smile as gentle as his voice. He caressed her hand tenderly and closed his eyes as the air drifted past them.

Silence came between them as Evelyn focused on the boy beside her. How bold he was to sit on the edge without a single hesitation. How kind a friend he was, willing to do anything she needed him to do. How peaceful he looked with his hair flowing slowly as the wind blew gently across it. And how beautiful he was with his long lashes brushing his cheeks as he closed his eyes. The cheek that had its own alluring constellation she would love to—

"I believe they've left." Ominis interrupted Evelyn's thoughts, causing her mind to become blank.

“Who?”

“The…prefects?” He answered with worry.

Evelyn blinked a few times, and her mind finally started to work again. He was talking about the patrolling prefects. The very reason they were hiding and waiting here in the first place.

“Oh, yes. Yes, the patrolling prefects,” she responded nervously as she looked down, and dusted off her lap of imaginary dust. Embarrassed.

“We should go back,” Ominis said as he began to prepare himself to stand up, his hand reaching for his wand in his pocket. “I could escort you back to your dorm if you want,” he added.

“Oh, yes…” Evelyn’s voice trailed off once again as she pondered. Did she want this to be over? Did she want to leave? Was it enough?

The answer came to her mind almost instantly.

“Can we stay?” she asked, causing Ominis to pause his movement to stand up. "Just a few minutes longer?"

He smiled and sat back down, “Of course, Eve.”

The way he pronounced her nickname made Evelyn’s chest feel warm. The way he still held her hand firmly yet with the utmost care made her feel comfortable. The way he smiled sincerely at her made her feel cherished. The way he was there and only there for her, made her feel—

“But we still have to go back to try to get some sleep.”

The boy's remark interrupted Evelyn's thoughts again. She answered with a feigned displeasure, smiling and rolling her eyes at him.

“Yes, mooomm.”

And Evelyn saw sparks fly as she saw him laugh under the stars.

Late Spring, 1891

“Ominis!” Evelyn called at the blond boy a few paces ahead of her. He stopped and turned, his wand could be seen pulsing with red waves. Concern could be heard in his voice as he inquired.

“Evelyn? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” she stopped as she finally reached him, “do I always have a problem when I call for you?”

Ominis said nonchalantly, “You usually do.”

“Well, I don’t,” Evelyn responded indignantly, “not right now.”

“Eve…” Ominis expressed his displeasure, causing her to regret her tease. She threw her hands up in defeat.

“Joking! I was joking!” She said. When she didn't hear back from him, she groaned and continued, “Well, I was wondering if you had any spare time this evening?”

“Evening?” He paused and shrugged, “I guess I have, since Sebastian will have detention instead of studying with me in the common room.”

It’s nice to hear him say Sebastian's name with ease again. And It’s also heartwarming to hear that he began to spend time with Sebastian again. They began to reconcile on Sebastian’s birthday. When Ominis sat out of the blue beside him in the great hall at breakfast.

Evelyn knew how much that gesture meant to the brunette. Ominis had always avoided Sebastian in the shadow of the relic catastrophe. So, Evelyn could understand why Sebastian burst into tears when he found his lost best friend sitting and eating beside him again after being apart for a few months. She remembered seeing Ominis reluctantly pat the weeping boy’s shoulder. A move that Sebastian misinterpreted as an invitation to hug him, which he did, stunning the already shocked blond guy and everyone else at the table. She remembered how she couldn't help but grin at her newly reunited best friends and joined the hug. Never minding the lost and confused stares from the other students.

Evelyn smiled at the memory and continued her talk with Ominis.

“How could you know?”

"I know he would," Ominis sighed, shaking his head, "I saw him being chastised by Madam Scribner earlier."

“Poor him,” Evelyn said in pity for the brunette.

“He got what he deserved.” Ominis said sternly.

Evelyn knew Ominis meant no harm. He was actually concerned about his brunette best friend. So she playfully shoved his shoulder with hers.

“Don’t be so mean.”

“I’m tired of watching him always get into trouble.” Ominis murmured with a dejected sigh. “Anyway, why did you ask?”

Evelyn smiled at his question. She put her hands behind her and moved her gaze away from him sheepishly.

“Well,” her feet rocking back and forth, “I’m inviting you to spend the evening together.”

“Just us?” Ominis asked in surprise.

“Just us.”

“I’d be delighted to.”

Ominis’s answer halted her rocking movement. Evelyn swiftly returned her sight to him and flushed as she noticed him smiling.

“G-Great! Maybe after our history of magic class?”

She could hear him chuckle before he responded, “Okay. Where will we go?”

“You’ll see.”

“I hope I don't regret this.”

Ominis playful remark didn’t go unnoticed by Evelyn who quickly shoved his shoulder to him, earning a good laugh from the young blonde wizard.

After what Ominis said as an insightful history of magic class—Evelyn couldn’t know if it was or not since she slept through it, they found their way to the surrounding castle grounds.

“It’s pretty far from the castle,” Ominis commented as his wand guided him to follow the girl before him.

“Not too far,” Evelyn turned her head back to him, still walking as she continued, “we’re still at the castle grounds.”

They are indeed still at the castle grounds. It’s just a bit far from the main building, nearing the black lake. They walked a few more until Ominis asked out of the blue.

“Are you going to kill me?”

Evelyn came to a halt as she heard the question and quickly turned to the Slytherin behind her.

“W-What?!”

Ominis shrugged at Evelyn’s shock. “You’re taking me far from the castle, bringing me close to the black lake. You could simply murder me and dispose of my body in the lake, never to be found and recovered,” he deadpanned.

Evelyn was gobsmacked when she heard the deadpanned explanation. He was referring to her own joke about him wanting to kill her at the astronomy tower before.

“We have to stop making jokes about killing each other.“

“Oh, but dear, you walked right into it,” Ominis smirked with his hand gesturing to the surrounding environment, “the situation begged me for it.”

His endearment calling went past her as Evelyn groaned in annoyance when he laughed. She walked again, ignoring the laughing boy. They hiked for a while before finally arriving at a clearing she had already designated as her goal when she arranged everything. It was a clear area with a cliff on one side from which the castle could be seen in all its glory.

“We’re here,” Evelyn said as she took a deep breath, relieving the fresh air surrounding her.

“Where is ‘here’?” Ominis asked suspiciously and began to aim his wand at his surroundings while Evelyn resumed her trek.

“Stand right there.”

“Why?” Ominis asked, but still followed her command, remained standing at his place, not moving even an inch.

Evelyn didn't respond, instead continuing to walk until she was a few feet ahead of the confused boy. She then searched through her enchanted pocket and took out her nab-sack. She then tried to open it, grumbling in the process as she couldn’t find it the first time.

“Eve?!”

“Just trust me!” Evelyn shouted to calm the worried boy. But it didn’t. Ominis was about to take a step forward when the nab-sack finally opened and a white hippogriff leaped out of it.

The hippogriff almost hit Ominis as it landed right in front of him. Thankfully, Ominis halted his steps as soon as he heard something else was between him and Evelyn. He instantly raised his wand in front of him to defend himself. The Hippogriff flapped its wings in caution and screeched as it saw his glowing wand.

“Wait!” Evelyn shouted as she ran to the space between Ominis and the hippogriff.

Ominis lowered his wand in surprise as soon as he heard her, and the hippogriff calmed instantly as soon as it saw him do so. It chirped and tilted its head curiously towards him and his glowing wand.

“Is that—”

“Yes,” Evelyn giggled as she saw the hippogriff’s interest towards Ominis and caressed its neck when she finally stood near it, “this is Highwing. She's the first beast I have ever rescued.”

“The first beast you’ve rescued?!” Ominis asked in shock.

Evelyn decided not to tell him about her story with Highwing as it could take her hours to finish. Time was essential for what she planned to do. Besides, she was not in the mood to be reprimanded, which Ominis would undoubtedly do if he knew the whole story.

“It’s a long story,” she said quickly. "Ominis, meet Highwing," she continued, motioning with her hand towards him and then to the massive hippogriff.

Evelyn remained still, waiting for Ominis to greet the hippogriff. But he just stood there, holding his wand. Its red pulses drew the hippogriff closer with interest.

“I…don’t know what to do,” Ominis awkwardly confessed.

“You could bow to greet her.” Evelyn suggested, and bow he did not.

Instead, he took a deep breath, placed his wand-wielding hand against his chest, and kneeled. He kneeled in the most graceful way Evelyn had ever seen, full of respect and admiration for the beast beside her. If she had been a hippogriff, she would have bent and kneeled as well in response.

And bent and kneeled the hippogriff did. With one of her front talons bent, Highwing replied to Ominis's greeting with what Evelyn thought was the most courteous bow a hippogriff could offer. Evelyn clearly did not expect it. She was worried that Highwing would reject Ominis since he couldn't see, let alone keep eye contact with it.

As a result, this change of events stunned and astounded her. It seemed as though Highwing understood his shortcoming and respected him more because of it. Evelyn could only stare in amazement as she gestured her hand towards Highwing and then to the kneeling boy.

“Highwing, meet Ominis, the one I—” Evelyn quickly stopped and cleared her throat, “The one I told you about before, my best friend.”

Evelyn could see the Slytherin boy smiling as addressed him as her best friend. Upon her introduction, the hippogriff rose from its kneeling position and the smiling Slytherin descendant slowly followed.

“She bowed back,” Evelyn added, deciding not to tell him of how the hippogriff gave him the most respectful bow she had ever seen, “that means she gave you the approval.”

“The approval to what?” Ominis asked with frowned brows.

“To come near of course,” Evelyn said, motioning for him to go closer. He approached cautiously, holding his wand in front of him. “Here,” she guided his free hand to touch Highwing’s neck when he was close enough, “there you go.”

“Merlin…” He expressed his surprise and bewilderment while petting the hippogriff. “I can’t believe I’m petting a hippogriff!”

“And now you’re flying one.”

Evelyn could see Ominis’s panic as he heard what she just said.

“Wh-what?!”

She giggled at his panic and mounted the hippogriff. Evelyn petted its silky feathers as she gestured it to lower its body. As if it knew what she’s trying to do, the hippogriff kneeled beside Ominis, giving him easier access to mount.

“Come!” She gave her hand to the perplexed boy, who thankfully still had enough understanding to take her hand and mount the beast. He sat behind Evelyn with his wand gripped tightly on his hand, probably trying to make sense of what was happening.

“Hold on tight.” Evelyn instructed the boy and shouted without waiting for his respond, “let’s go Highwing!”

The hippogriff ran towards the cliff as soon as it heard her shout.

“I’m not read—aaaaaaahhh!” Ominis screamed as Highwing let herself and them fall to the cliff

The exhilaration from falling made her forget all the anxiety she should’ve felt as his arms circled around her waist, holding her tightly as they went lower and lower to the ground. Suddenly, Highwing swiftly expanded its wings! Causing the wind to rush through Evelyn’s hair and robe as it continued to fly over the trees. She shouted joyfully, leaving all her worries behind.

“Woohoooo!”

“Aaaaaahhh!!!”

Another shout, well, more of a scream, came to her ears as they coursed through the air, causing her to laugh.

“I thought you said flying was easy!” She teased the screaming boy behind her.

“Flying with a broom! Not a full grown hippogriff!” Ominis complained as he tightened his embrace of her.

Evelyn's laughter faded as she realised how frightening it must be for him, struggling to make sense of his surroundings with his wand and his probably overwhelmed senses. She caressed his clenched hand on her waist gently and then gestured for Highwing to slow down. Highwing screeched in response while flapping its wings. It slowed down as it turned towards the black lake and began to descend. Its wings opened on either side, balancing as it coursed right above the black lake.

Evelyn could feel Ominis’s arms begin to loosen as the gurgling sound of the water could be heard as it touched the hippogriff's feet. Evelyn turned her head towards her back and saw the boy beginning to smile.

“Open your arms!” She gave him an example by opening her arms on both sides, imitating the currently hovering hippogriff’s wings.

Ominis put his wand in his pocket and followed her example. Amazement came to his face as soon as he felt the wind rushing over his arms. His robes fluttered behind him as he laughed and shouted in excitement.

“This is Amazing!!!”

Evelyn couldn’t help but grin. With the boy’s anxiety dealt with, she turned back and focused on the setting sun in front of her. She had done this a couple times herself. But it had never ceased to amaze her every single time. The sight of the sun setting over the water's horizon, the feeling of wind blowing through her hair, and the happiness coursing through her veins as she felt the warmth of the sun for the day never failed to bring tears to her eyes.

“It’s incredible, isn’t it?” Evelyn said as she turned her head back. Only to see him smiling at her.

“It is…”

Ominis’s voice seemed to be coming from another world as everything else faded in Evelyn's eyes. Her attention was only on his face, encircled by the golden halo of the final light of the day and adorned with a beautiful smile. A smile that she hoped, was only for her.

“Ah!” Evelyn shrieked as she lost her balance all of a sudden. An arm quickly held her tight as Highwing screeched anxiously, trying to maintain balance by flapping its wings.

“Careful,” Ominis said gently as he set her back gently to safety. She laughed at the almost disaster and held tightly again to the Hippogriff’s feather.

“Hold on tight!” She commanded the boy behind her. Only and only after she felt his arms around her, Evelyn shouted to the Hippogriff, “let’s go Highwing!”

The hippogriff happily complied and ascended quickly, two shouts of excitement and laughter could be heard on its trail.

They landed safely in the clearing from where they took off. Evelyn laughed as she unmounted the massive hippogriff, exhilaration still coursing through her veins. She immediately turned to help Ominis climb down, only to be surprised when he did so on his own in the most graceful way possible. Evelyn grinned to herself as she shook her head. Of course, the first time he did it on his own, he succeeded and passed with flying colours. This is Ominis Gaunt. The gracious, warm hearted Ominis Gaunt that captivated Hippogriff’s heart on his first try.

“How was it?” Evelyn asked the blond boy, who did not respond. His pale face was visible, causing Evelyn concern, "Ominis, are—"

"Never, ever, ever do that again." He abruptly cut in. Evelyn felt dread run through her veins and was ready to apologise when she heard him continue.

“Without giving me a warning first.”

She exhaled a sigh of relief and nervously asked him, “You liked it?”

“Liked it? I loved it!” Ominis exclaimed with a beaming smile, bringing a smile to Evelyn’s face. “It was amazing!”

“Well, I thought a flying trip with Highwing might be a nice birthday gift, as I haven’t given you one properly. I’m glad that you loved it,” she said as she walked closer to him, sheepishly tucking a stray strand of her hair behind her ears, "happy belated birthday, Ominis."

“I don’t need another gift from you, Eve.” Ominis said while shaking his head.

Evelyn was at a loss for words and stammered, "I—I thought—Well I—"

“But. That was one of the most joyful events of my life. I may not be ‘seeing’ the trees, the waters, or the sunset, but I still enjoyed it nonetheless. The sorrow of not seeing it pales in comparison to the freedom I felt when the wind cruised through my arms, the surge of excitement I felt when the enormous wings flapped under me, and the happiness I felt as I laughed with you under the final light of the day.”

Ominis paused as he stepped closer to her.

“It was an experience I will cherish all my life,” he held her hand tightly, “Thank you, Eve.”

And Evelyn saw sparks fly when she saw him smile under the golden sun.

Late Spring, A Few Days Before O.W.L, 1891

It was a nice, sunny day. A perfect day to sit outside and just bask in the sunshine. And that was what most of the students decided to do. The grounds near the castle were filled with students, sitting down in groups, trying to forget about the stress of schoolwork and upcoming tests. Including three female fifth-year students that could be seen sitting under the sun near the quidditch pitch.

“Ah, I love the sun.” The Gryffindor one said as she lay herself down, her dark skin glistened under the sun.

“Me too!” A chirp came from beside her. It was the Hufflepuff girl who quickly followed the Gryffindor and laid down on the grass as well.

Evelyn smiled at her friends and decided to join. She quickly laid herself down on the soft green grass beneath her.

“Me three!”

The three of them laughed and the grass beneath them rustled with their laughter, as if laughing in happiness too.

After the laughter ceased, Evelyn turned her gaze to the clear blue sky above. The clouds above moved slowly, as if to lull her to sleep. The soft sunlight and the gentle breeze made her eyes heavy. She felt peaceful and serene, almost lost in dreamland. Until a voice came and brought her back to reality.

“You guys realise that you’ll get your robes dirty?”

The smallest of the lying girls—the Hufflepuff to be exact—quickly opened her eyes and squinted to see the one who had disturbed the peace and annoyingly preventing the sun from shining on her. The individual was wearing a green quidditch gown and carrying a gleaming broomstick that was definitely taller than herself, clearly looked like she had just done quidditch practise. The Hufflepuff huffed as she finally recognised her. Who else has the right mind to train for the sport that has been cancelled for the rest of the year? Imelda Reyes is the only answer.

“Dirty of what?” The Hufflepuff asked the standing Slytherin in annoyance, “Grass? Move a bit would you?”

“Yes. Especially you, Onai.” She answered sternly, not moving from her place, and pointed her finger at the Gryffindor, who was still lying with her eyes closed. “Let me remind you that we’ll be having potion class after this, in which I’m currently your partner. You know how serious Professor Sharp is about keeping your cauldron clean and free of foreign objects. I'm not going to let my grades suffer because he sees a stray strand of grass that could blow our cauldron.”

Natsai ‘Natty’ Onai, The Gryffindor, only giggled in response to her ‘worried’ Slytherin friend.

“Relax, Imelda. I’ll conjure a wind to blow all the grass from my robe later. Let me enjoy the sun for a bit more.”

Imelda shrugged at her. “Suit yourself. But if Professor Sharp finds—“

“Oh, shut it.” The Hufflepuff suddenly sat up and grabbed the Slytherin girl's robe, causing her to tumble to the grass.

“Poppy!” Imelda exclaimed as she landed on the grass, her rear throbbing from the unexpected collision with the ground.

The other girls giggled at the scene before them. Imelda was fuming, massaging her aching back while Poppy grinned innocently beside her.

“Oh, hush. You’ve fallen from a higher place before.”

“It still hurts!” Imelda grumbled in displeasure.

Poppy might have felt guilty since her giggle faded after that. She scooted closer and hugged the annoyed Slytherin, “Sorry, Imelda.”

Imelda merely grunted in response and quickly dropped herself towards her back with Poppy still hugging her. The Hufflepuff could only shriek as she felt herself drop to the back all of a sudden. Their bodies landed on the ground with a puff of dust.

Laughter broke instantly. Poppy was the first to laugh, followed by Imelda, Natty, and lastly, Evelyn. Who wasn't exactly sure what made them laugh, but with the stress of the forthcoming test, chose to enjoy the bliss no matter why. For a little while, hers and the others' laughter could be heard for a while before the soothing silence returned. Followed by the chirps of birds and gentle spring breeze.

Evelyn’s eyes gazed at the clouds above, trying to make shapes of those cotton candy look-a-like in the sky. She was beginning to see a familiar shape when Poppy broke the silence.

“I like this, laying around under the sun with you guys makes me feel warm inside,” Poppy sighed blissfully, “do you guys ever feel warm inside?”

“I do.” A spontaneous answer came from Natty. “I feel it right now.”

Evelyn smiled at the sudden confession of emotion from her friends and decided to join, “I do too.”

“Don’t you feel warm too Imelda?” Poppy asked to silent Slytherin beside her, who finally answered after a few seconds of more silence.

“Yes, I feel warm.”

Evelyn snickered when she heard Imelda’s tone. Embarrassed, yet happy tone. Her mind then decided to bring up a certain memory when she also heard a quite familiar tone of voice from Imelda.

“Warmer than when Garreth helped you in Herbology yesterday?”

“Evelyn!” Imelda chided Evelyn with her face turning bright crimson with each passing second.

“Ooooh, someone has a cruuushh,” Poppy joined the teasing with a sing-song voice. It seemed to successfully make Imelda even more nervous as she quickly denied the suggestion.

“I don’t!”

“I never said it was you.” Poppy responded quickly in wit.

Evelyn laughed out loud hearing that. Poppy couldn’t hold her laughter any longer and quickly joined. They both were laughing at Imelda’s flushing face when a confession came out of the blue from the silent girl between Evelyn and Poppy.

“I had a crush.”

Evelyn whirled her head towards the Gryffindor girl beside her, “Natty?!”

“What?!” Imelda shot up from her lying position almost at the same time as Evelyn whirled her head.

“Ooh, how exciting!” Poppy exclaimed as she turned her body so she was lying on her stomach, facing the Zimbabwean witch with her head on both of her hands that were propped up with her elbow.

Natty giggled at her friends' reactions. Every one of their features revealed a look of astonishment as they focused their attention on her. Still lying on her back, she looked up at the sky and continued her confession.

“As I said before, I had a crush. It was a senior. A brave seventh year Gryffindor who helped me adjust to Hogwarts when I first moved here.”

“That was one year ago, right?” Evelyn asked.

“Yes. I had a hard time, especially in using wand to channel my magic. As I said before, we don’t use wands in Uagadou. The senior found it fascinating and we became friends in an instant. They helped me adjust to my wand as I taught them a bit about wandless magic.”

Imelda scoffed as soon as Natty finished her tale. “One house love,” she rolled her eyes, “lame.”

“Then please, do tell us about your cross house love.” Poppy retorted quickly, turning her head towards the Slytherin. Who was silent all the sudden after hearing it.

Giggle could be heard from Evelyn and Natty as they found their Slytherin friend’s face turning red once again. Satisfied with the reaction she got, Poppy turned her head back to the Zimbabwean Witch. Inquired excitedly.

“Was it love at the first sight?”

Natty went silent for a while, her eyes could be seen like they were searching for the answer. With a frown, she finally answered.

“I don’t like, like them at first. It just…happened. One morning we were practising together and all of a sudden I got this…tingling in my chest when I saw them doing magic without his wand. I thought it was pride. Like a teacher to be proud of her students? But, my stomach flipped when I saw them smiling excitedly, happy that they had successfully done magic without a wand. And I knew it was not it.”

Evelyn's mind came to a stop as she heard what Natty had just said. Tingling in the chest. Stomach flipping. She felt it too. She felt it before. And still felt it every time she saw the smile of a certain Slytherin friend of hers.

“You knew that you liked them right there and then?” Evelyn asked in a quiet voice, afraid of the answer.

Natty shook her head and said, “No.”

Evelyn sighed in relief. No, of course not. What she felt was probably just a fluke. Maybe she ate something bad in the morning and caused it every time she saw him for the whole day. Her stomach was probably still adjusting to the magical cuisine. She was right to decide that she should go see Madam—

“It’s silly, but I actually met with Madan Blainey for it. I knew that was not how the pride of a teacher would feel, as I remembered what my mother told me how she felt when she had a successful class session.”

THAT made Evelyn’s train of thought suddenly stop.

“You went to see Madam Blainey,” Imelda giggled in disbelief, “because your stomach flipped when you saw his smile?!”

“I never felt it before,” Natty answered calmly and shrugged, “and my mother told me to go to the hospital wing if I feel anything strange when she’s not around.”

“This is good. By all means, Onai, please continue.” Imelda said with a smirk.

Evelyn, on the other hand, had absolutely no desire to smirk. Natty actually did what she had pondered but hadn't done yet. Anxiety made her unable to do anything except hold her breath while waiting for Natty’s answer. She felt like a panicked train driver, pulling the breaks as hard as she could, trying to stop the train from falling off the cliff. The breaks screeched wildly on the rail as Evelyn heard Natty continue.

“Madam Blainey just smiled at me after I told her what I was feeling. She held my hand—and if I still remember it correctly—said, ‘Natty dear, when you’re at your age, sometimes you feel something out of the ordinary for the first time. And it’s absolutely normal. The tingling you feel in your chest, the flipping you feel in your stomach, and the sparks you see when you see that special someone are the symptoms of what I called, falling in love.’”

The train in Evelyn’s mind plunged off the cliff and exploded with such force that it made all her other thoughts evaporate.

Falling in love.

The realisation came bearing down on her. Every caught breath, every flush on her cheeks, and every quickening heartbeat, were her own body’s way to tell her of her own feelings. Every flutter she experienced, every tingle she felt, and every spark she saw flying whenever she saw his smile was her own body screaming for her to realise that,

She was falling in love.

“That is sooo romantic!” Poppy exclaimed excitedly, her leg moving up and down on the grass, “how does it feel? Falling in love with someone?”

A soft voice came from Evelyn's lips.

“It’s like being a house of cards, hoping anxiously not to be blown away every time he moves. And yet, you couldn’t—wouldn’t run from him, knowing you wouldn’t get far. Your mind throws away all common sense and makes excuses, willing to fall for him. Willing to leave everything behind and just drown in his blue eyes every time you see them.

You want him to take away the pain of longing, and yet, afraid to move first every time he’s close enough to touch. It's as though you're still with him even when he's not around, haunting you. You're hoping he knows and doesn't know at the same time, because you're embarrassed by your thoughts of him. Because…you see sparks fly, whenever he smiles.”

Evelyn was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she didn't realise she'd stated them aloud for everybody to hear. Her friends, including Natty and Poppy, were sitting up and looking in astonishment at her. Her face reddened from all the attention.

“Wow…Evelyn…” Poppy said in awe, causing Evelyn to be more embarrassed than before.

“Never knew you'd be such a romantic, Rose,” Imelda smirked, “who’s the lucky blue-eyed person?”

Evelyn quickly sat up, her eyes widened. Did she really say it? Blue eyes?

“Hmm…did she really say blue eyes?” Natty considered for a moment.

“It couldn’t be Sebastian, could it?” Poppy guessed out of the blue, “he has brown eyes.”

Imelda jumped out of the blue, coming closer to the blushing fifth year. “No. Absolutely not. Nu’uh. I don’t and won’t give my blessing,” she stated firmly. “There are better boys in this school than him. You’d best tell me right now that it’s not him, Rose.”

“I—”

“Hi, Eve.”

Evelyn thanked Merlin for the voice that came out of the blue behind her, saving her from any more damage from the embarrassment and the crushing realisation of her own feelings. Her head turned towards the voice. As it turned out, she was grateful too soon, seeing the blue-eyed boy in her confession was now standing behind her.

Her face went white with dread. He might have heard her.

“Hey, Ominis!” Poppy greeted the Slytherin boy happily.

“Gaunt,” Imelda nodded her head at him.

“Hello,” Natty greeted him curtly.

“Hello, ladies,” Ominis greeted the ladies present with a polite nod, “sorry to bother your conversation, but I believe Evelyn has an appointment to go.”

Evelyn, who was still drowning in dread, only gaped as she answered nervously, “I-I have?”

“You promised to assist Sebastian and I in studying potions?” Ominis's puzzled question sounded tinged with concern.

Evelyn chose not to be concerned about him having heard her confession. If he did, she would undoubtedly have to face the consequences. But it didn’t have to be right there and then. She quickly forced herself to forget, reset her mind, and focus on the boy’s question instead.

“Oh, yeah. Yes, I did.” She answered with a smile.

“Ready to go?” Ominis said while offering his hand to Evelyn, which she accepted nonchalantly and rose up with his assistance. Her hand remained on his even after she had properly stood up.

That, made Poppy’s and Natty’s eyes widen.

“Well, I’m sorry our time must be cut short. Let's regroup after the last class, okay?” Evelyn said to the girls, whose surprise she didn't even notice. After seeing the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor nod, she linked her arm to Ominis’s left elbow like she used to and walked away.

Seeing how the pair of friends left, Natty’s and Poppy’s mouths gaped and said the same thing at the same time.

“Oh…”

“What? Why?” Imelda—clearly unaware of what had occurred—questioned the two gaping girls, who instantly grinned after they woke up from their surprise, both acknowledging what just happened. They looked at each other and laughed.

In frustration, the Slytherin who had been left out, focused on the already distant strolling pair, sensing her friends' laughter had something to do with them. Seeing the intertwined arms, a light bulb suddenly lit up her thoughts.

“Gaunt?!”

Evelyn and Ominis walked arm in arm towards the Undercroft, where they and Sebastian had promised to meet. His wand guided them both through the mostly empty corridors. With the sun shining brightly, it was expected that most of the students would be outside, as she and the other girls had been. They were halfway through the journey when Evelyn felt Ominis discreetly press his left elbow, which was where her hand held on, to his side.

Evelyn felt her cheek warming up, finally noticed what they were doing and what the gesture meant. They say a gentleman who has reason to suspect that he may be in special favour with the lady with whom he is walking may discreetly press his elbow to his side after she has taken his arm in the formal manner. If he is correct, the lady tightens her grip on his arm; if he is incorrect, she removes her hand from his arm and tells him an excuse to stop the walk.

She had never considered it before. She only thought of his action of linking her hand on his elbow as a polite way to escort a lady—which was expected from a heir of a family such as his, and only thought of his pressing on her hand as a reassurance, as if he was simply checking if she’s still with him on the journey. But after her previous realisation…it became more serious for her. More…intimate.

With her breath caught, her flushing cheek, and her quickening heartbeat, Evelyn knew this was not a coincidence, as she previously believed. She didn't have to visit Madam Blainey to figure it out. Merlin, she even practically confessed it earlier. The feeling she had was real.

She’s falling for him.

So she tightened her grip on his arm.

And welcomed the sparks that flew every time she saw him ever since.

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internerdionality · 1 year ago

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20 Questions for FanFic Authors

Tagged by @dragonmuse, thank you! 🥰

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

39. I've been publishing since 2020, so a relative newbie, and I apparently can't write actual short works to save my life. I'm looking forward to hitting 50 fics, maybe even before the end of the this year, although that might be overly optimistic.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

817,200. Also looking forward to hitting a million! I started writing fanfic in part because of Diane Duane's post about the first million words being for practice, but I've realized as I've gone that fanfic is also just more fun in a lot of ways than original work, because it's lower stakes and more silliness and really all about the community.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly Our Flag Means Death and the DC universe. I have a long crossover plotted out in the Slayerverse but I haven't published any of it yet, and one fic (I think my shortest) that I wrote to expiate my feels for the fourth Matrix movie. Oh! And a few Good Omens, only one published so far.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor? , Our Flag Means Death, Izzy/Everyone + Canon Pairings. I started writing this one literally the night after I finished watching the show in late April 2022 and managed to hit the wave of gay pirate frenzy as the fandom was born. I swear I'll finish it. 😅

A Fucking Duel, Our Flag Means Death, endgame SteddyHands with some strong Sprizzy side-action. This started out as crack, again very early in the gay pirate brainrot, and then turned novella size on me when I wasn't looking.

To Err is Human, to Purr is Batman. DC. Shades of SuperBat but mostly Bat-Family focused. I turn Bruce Wayne into a cat. Pure fluff.

Mutually Beneficial. DC, SuperBat. Classic identity porn romcom with a sugar daddy twist. Nonbinary Clark Kent. My first fanfic on AO3!

Soaked to the Skin. Our Flag Means Death, Sprizzy with a side of BlackHands, my take on how things would go for the Revenge right after the first season ended, doesn't include any of the characters who weren't on the ship during SO1E10. Double the length of any other fic I've ever written!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! I am a praise-gremlin and treasure every comment I receive. I also include answering comments in my total word count for the day (I made a resolution during the HHD 5781-82 to write more, and while it took me a little bit to get started, I have written at least 250 words a day since mid-December 2021). So answering comments often gets me pumped for writing more fic!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Disregarding the prequels in the big dark vampire romp (which aren't really standalone) probably a tie between the surprise twists at the ends of Untethered and Gently in the Night? Both fics end happily but then have a little angsty setup for the sequel at the very end.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Definitely Mutually Beneficial. Most of my fics end happily but I usually try to leave them somewhat open without doing a lot of epilogueish kind of things. MB was an exception where I wrote two fluffy epilogues with lots of romance and sex because I didn't want to leave my boys! Although honestly now when I think back on it I think it would have been a stronger work if I'd ended it right after the climax and posted the fluffy epilogues as separate works.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

There was this one unregistered user who went through all my SuperBat fics and engaged in this long comment thread where he accused me of not liking Clark Kent? (Which, almost all my DC fics have Clark as the protagonist, I adore him, so). It was very surreal. I eventually just deleted it every time they'd write a new comment and they stopped after like two or three of those.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Lots of smut! It's actually just in the past year that I've stretched myself to write more Gen-ish fics with WDYDWADS and TEIH, and it somewhat surprised me that those became my two most popular fics in their respective fandoms.

As far as what kind, I really try to diversify but the strongest commonalities tend to be strong power dynamics, bondage, pain-play, and consent-play, with my darkest stuff going hard into noncon. I have fluid squicks so I tend to avoid anything in that area.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

The only one I have published is the Our Flag Means Death/Pirates of the Caribbean (which seems pretty obvious, I'm honest surprised there isn't more). I have the whole arc plotted out where the vampire!DCU series is going to branch out into the Slayerverse. Hopefully I'll actually write it one of these days.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. I don't go looking, but my works aren't crazy popular, either.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple! I'm always really honored. 🥰 Many thanks to people who labor for fandom.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did a long entirely cowritten canonized fiction for Steve Stirling's Emberverse—it's published on his site, not AO3, and under my real name, so don't go looking! (Nah, JK, I won't link it but I don't care if people figure it out).

And then I wrote this companion piece to Rimbaud's Give Pearls Away and Rubies. I had nothing to do with his piece, but he consulted heavily on mine. And Dragonmuse and I starting workshopping a Dragonriders of Pern pastiche that we might finish one of these days. 🤣

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Can I say the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one? It's the platonic ideal of a ship, really... 😂

Otherwise I really don't have one, I'm too poly for that. Even the ships I'm most feral about, I'll ship any of them with other people.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I won't say the DCU/Slayerverse crossover because I refuse to doubt that I'll finish it one day. So let's go with the JLA bad orgy crack—I actually posted on that one that it should be considered abandoned. I still love the idea but I kinda just ran out of steam.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Exposition, worldbuilding, delving into character emotions. Metaphors and whimsy.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Having actual plots. Action scenes. Actually finishing/ending anything.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I speak enough French and Hebrew to do either of those (and have).

I've done a very little Spanish for Jim from OFMD, but I tend to just copy actual stuff that they've said in canon. I do have a Puerto Rican friend that I've leaned on occasionally, but she's busy and I don't want to make it her job to constantly write dialogue for me so I usually try to avoid it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Define "wrote." 😂

When I was a teenager I plotted out long self-insert fixits for Star Trek, Harry Potter (look, even then the only thing I wanted to do in that verse was fix its many sins), X-Files, Stargate, and Buffy. I never wrote any of them down, though, just enjoyed the daydreaming.

Well, I lie, I did actually write about 60K eventually in an original novel that was based on some of the dynamics I'd created in the HP one, but that's the only one I ever got out on paper and it was altered enough that its origin was pretty unrecognizable.

If we're counting published anywhere, it's Stirling's Emberverse.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Soaked to the Skin. I'm honestly so proud of the actual! plot! in that one, the narrative flow, the emotional arcs, and like. the fact that I actually finished it. Even now a year later, every time I get a comment or kudo on that fic it sends this thrill of happiness up my spine.

Tagging (only if you want it), @thetardigrape, @sunless-garden, and @jupitermelichios.

#chain post #ask game #writing meta #ao3fic

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smzeszikorova · 1 year ago

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Magic Inspiration tag

Another tag game from @dogmomwrites! Thanks so much :D

I think @adrielcastlyre might be a better person to respond to this one than me, actually. While I invented the magic system originally, they took charge of its evolution as our story's changed. Nonetheless, I will do my best.

I'm very tired today, and also not entirely sure who among my mutuals gets excited about tag games. So I'm leaving this one as an open tag, and inviting my mutuals (and anyone else, really) to let me know if you want me tagging you for this sort of thing.

Rules—share the inspiration/s for the magic system in your WIP.

I don't know if there were any specific external inspirations. We kind of just made it up as we went. And it evolved a lot along the way. Magic users went from being ridiculously OP, to practically useless in combat, to OP again, and slowly we began cementing something in between. This is the result.

In the P&K universe, magic is a biological function. Users are born with a pair of extra organs—producers—which typically appear in the upper arms. Their function is pretty self-explanatory. They produce magic. Not everyone possesses them, but a lot of people do. Then there's the network of vessels that exist as part of what's called the trazian network. (As a bit of totally useless lore, the reason it's called that is because the scientist who named them was called Henry Traz.) These vessels transfer magic from place to place. Originally, though, magic as a network of vessels resembling the cardiovascular system was a bit unheard of. What the scientists of the day knew were the producers, the "trazian tendons"—renamed "major trazian vessels" once people began specializing in magic science and churning out studies on the subject of the network's various parts and their respective functions—and the stoppers at the ends of the wrists, which allow for magic release. Magic science is a very, very new field of study. Little is known on the subject, so specialists like Winson are valued highly. (Another fun bit of useless lore: the misnomer "trazian tendons" became ubiquitous pretty quickly in non-scientific circles, and because the Kenacian and Pemokese populations, by and large, aren't avid readers of Kuryeizki scientific literature, a lot of them still call the major vessels tendons. This includes Levi, on occasion, but not because he doesn't understand the difference. He just likes pissing Winson off.) Similar to your system, @dogmomwrites, magic in the P&K universe is something that needs to be learned. Typically, the muscle allowing for stopper movement is something that loosens around puberty. So really young kids, with few exceptions, don't make especially powerful magic users. But like I said, there are exceptions. Generally, the reason for this is that some magical abilities work within the body rather than operating on external things, and since those abilities don't need to be channeled, they don't require a flexible trazian stopper. Abilities like this weren't very well understood until one Kuryeizki scientist proved the existence of a trazian network, and given the recency of their discovery, scientists haven't really decided on the official name for this "magic dichotomy". Some scientists say "transferrable vs. reflexive abilities". Others say "channeled vs. intrinsic." Some prefer one over the other. Winson switches back and forth depending on what he feels is most relevant to the situation at hand. Magic users are very dependent on their magic. They can release it in small amounts, but there's a failsafe in place to prevent them from using too much at a time. (They pass out, as with your system, @dogmomwrites, and more often than not, it doesn't get to that point. Every once in a while, you'll get someone whose energy spikes when they use magic, but it's a temporary high, and those types tend to crash much harder.) This is essentially the foundation on which book one operates. There's a lot more complexity to magic than that, and I'm not going to go into stuff like genetic inheritance, blockers, illnesses, enhancements, exceptions, etc. here. You'll get all that in the book. If/when, in the distant, indefinite future, my book is published, pay attention to the stuff Winson, Adriel, and much later, Lviszki, say about magic systems. As the story progresses and the characters learn more about it, you'll notice the way the science evolves.

Thanks again for the tag. This was super fun!

#writing stuff #p&k #magic system #magic inspiration tag

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husbandhannie · 2 years ago

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I posted 2,443 times in 2022

That's 2,443 more posts than 2021!

424 posts created (17%)

2,019 posts reblogged (83%)

I tagged 2,412 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#re.blog - 1,777 posts

#gif - 834 posts

#seventeen - 708 posts

#monsta x - 237 posts

#mx - 210 posts

#jeonghan - 177 posts

#nct - 172 posts

#asks - 155 posts

#livvie rambles - 148 posts

#mutuals - 143 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#like these algorithms reinforce our interests to generate engagement and suddenly youre only interacting with people with the same interest

My Top Posts in 2022:

9:30 AM

warnings: one sexual joke, kissing

a/n: this is purely self-indulgent (like, completely)

"stop tickling me!"

jeonghan laughs at your squeals, stilling his fingers on your sides, his stupid lovesick grin probably matching yours.

it's been a while since you've spent a lazy morning in bed with your boyfriend, your conflicting schedules not allowing you much time together. not ready to get out of the comfort of your shared bed, the two of you have spent the last hour in each other's arms, talking about everything and nothing.

"you started it", jeonghan mutters, and you have to fight the urge to run your hands through his hair again.

"i didn't!", you sputter, "i was stretching, it was totally accidental".

it wasn't. the grin in your voice betrays that.

"oh, is that so?", his fingers brush your sides lightly, "i can also stretch like that, you know".

"no", you gasp, moving on top of him and caging his hands above his head, "no", you whisper in his ear.

"mm, you've made me a prisoner", he hums, smiling slyly at the gasp you let out, "do you like that? you are so kinky".

"stop", you whine, intertwining your fingers with his.

jeonghan doesn't respond, choosing to silently survey your face. it's a look he's given you throughout your relationship - on your first date, the first time you met his friends, the first time you cried in front of him, the first night he spent in your bed, the first time he murmured 'i love you' against your lips.

"what?", you whisper in the quiet room.

"mm", he raises his head to kiss you softly, "missed you".

626 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

when you visit them after a bad day

See the full post

656 notes - Posted March 2, 2022

hell week

alternatively, headcannons for when you're on your period

pairing: jeonghan, mingyu, dino x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 700

warnings: reader is gender neutral and gets periods, general mentions of pain and food.

a/n: i didn't think i'd write this particular reaction but it's hell week for me and with my colorful medical history, it really is quite bad. maybe i'll write a couple more, idk.

taglist: @leejungchans @junhui-recs @itsveronicaxxx

JEONGHAN

"what about a hot bag? does that help?"

you hum in assent, moving very slightly to the side to get closer to your boyfriend's warmth. when you told him you were on your period and that it was bad, you weren't expecting him to show up at your door to "keep you company". it's not that you expected him to not be supportive, but you've only been dating jeonghan for a few weeks and he spent most of today in dance practice -- so it was a surprise when he texted you that he was on his way. if you had the energy, maybe you'd clean up your appearance a little, but you had spent all your useful energy on making the pasta you had for dinner.

"it does", you move a little closer again, and jeonghan adjusts his body to accommodate you, "but i need to heat up water for it, and all utensils for that are in the sink".

"i can wash something", he responds instantly, "tell me where the bottle is, i'll fill it up for you".

"no", you murmur, opening your eyes and giving him a fond and slightly pain-filled look, "you came here to keep me company, not to do the dishes".

"i came here to help", he corrects gently, one hand reaching out to rest on yours, "any way i can, okay?"

he looks determined, and you don't have it in you to put up a fight.

"okay", you whisper, smiling against his lips when he moves closer to drop a kiss.

"now", he gets up from the bed, "where's the bottle?"

MINGYU

"i can do that"

mingyu's soft voice interrupts the rhythmic sound of the steel of your spoon hitting the cup as you stir honey into your tea, his frame coming to rest beside yours.

as much as he hates it when you're sick and in pain, you know he likes the opportunity to take care of you - something you generally don't allow. even now, in these pain-riddled days, you resist his attempts to make your life easier, not wanting to be a burden.

still, he persists.

"i can do it", you respond weekly, "it's just tea".

"still, you should rest", he pulls out some cookies from the cabinet, plating them on a bowl, "you need it".

"i'd have to make this if i was alone, you know".

"but you're not alone", he says, softer this time, tender eyes meeting yours when you turn to look at him, "so let me".

just this once.

"okay", you step back and grab the bowl of cookies, "i'll be on the bed. there's still tea to add, and -"

"lemon", he shoots you a fond grin, "yeah, i know".

See the full post

668 notes - Posted October 13, 2022

fried rice

pairing: woozi x reader

word count: 625

genre: fluff

warnings: food mentions and preferences, one very vague sexual reference, kissing

a/n: special thanks to @woozingie for indulging me in my woozi+midnight snack thoughts.

taglist: @itsveronicaxxx @zurikyo @husbandhoshi @starlightjoong.

the lamp of your bedroom makes you squint as you wake up slowly, blinking the sleep away while searching for your phone. 1:33 AM, your lockscreen says. you've been asleep for a couple of hours. probably.

it was 11:30 the last time you checked the time, already feeling drowsy while trying to complete the citations for your almost-ready thesis. jihoon was in the guest bedroom across the hall, working on some lyrics after the two of you had an early dinner together. if you had managed to stay awake, you would probably be nudging him about a midnight snack right about now.

feeling your stomach grumble slightly, you stretch your legs before standing up, switching off your laptop and placing it in its bag before making your way to the door. the aroma of familiar spices hits you as you walk down the hall to the kitchen, pausing at the entrance when your boyfriend's form becomes visible. it appears he hasn't noticed your presence, his face focused on the spoon of soy sauce he's measuring, steady hands holding the utensil. the forearms revealed by his rolled-up sleeves bring back vivid memories, and -

"done staring?", jihoon's soft voice interrupts your thoughts, his eyes flitting to yours for a teasing second.

"never", you respond, taking in his fond eye-roll giddily and walking to stand behind him, "you could've woken me up", you wrap your arms around his waist, "i would've helped".

"that's alright, i managed". you seemed tired.

you hum against his shoulder, not pushing it. in the years you've been with jihoon, you've learned that he's one of the most considerate people you've ever had the honor of knowing, and that he hates it when you point it out.

your eyes finally focus on the pan he's stirring, and your mind draws mental question-marks at the visual. it's fried rice, your standard midnight snack - but it doesn't have meat or egg. jihoon never makes fried rice without meet or egg.

"are those vegetables?", you mutter, "capsicums, carrots, beans?"

"yeah", he shrugs, "thought i'd try something different".

his hand brushes against yours fleetingly. i pay attention, it says.

for the last few weeks, you've gotten rather disinterested in meat and egg, preferring more vegetarian options instead. it's not a conscious choice on your part, it's just A Thing that has happened. you haven't mentioned it to jihoon yet because, well, it frankly didn't seem important enough to mention. tastes change all the time and you'll probably get back your fondness for meat soon, no point telling your boyfriend.

but ofcourse, he knows. he pays attention, he always has.

"mm", you press a kiss on the back of his neck, reveling in his slight shiver, "i love you".

his hand touches yours again and his lips curve slightly, but he doesn't respond. maybe if you were new to his style of love, you'd be bothered by the muted response - but you know him, and you can tell when he's teasing.

"say it back", you whisper in his ear, moving to pepper light kisses on the back of his neck, "you have to say it back".

"i am literally making you food", exasperation fills his voice, his body twitching at your ticklish kisses, "do not mess with me".

"then say it back", you blow against his skin, drawing out the longest shiver yet.

"that's it", you barely register his words before he turns off the stove, turning and expertly pulling you in front of him, his body caging yours against the counter. his mouth meets yours in a kiss you gladly reciprocate, chuckling against his curved lips.

"i love you too", the whisper against your lips reminds you of the subject at hand, "always".

717 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

corn-y

pairing: mingyu x reader

word count: 765

genre: fluff

warnings: very vague sexual references, mingyu gets half naked (but it's cute), food mentions

a/n: domestic mingyu my beloved.

taglist: @itsveronicaxxx @zurikyo @husbandhoshi @starlightjoong.

"fried rice?"

mingyu chuckles at your suggestion, having heard the request far too many times during the course of your relationship. wordlessly, he opens the fridge to look for rice and vegetables, setting them up on the counter beside the appliance.

on days like this, when both you and mingyu are tired after work and can't be bothered to cook something proper, he (with some limited help from you) whips up something simple. the two of you eat his creation cuddled in front of the television, an insignificant show acting as background noise while you talk about your day.

"any other requests?", mingyu teases, picking up an apron from its shelf.

"mm", you contemplate, a slow grin spreading on your face at the idea that pops in your head, "would be great if you lose the shirt, chef".

your boyfriend pauses for a second before putting down the apron, taking off his shirt in a clumsy move (you suspect he was aiming for smoothness) and tossing it to the corner of the counter. his eyes meet yours in a mischievous look as he ties the apron around his waist, bare skin peaking out from under the fabric. it's a little embarrassing how you still blush when he takes off any clothing, like you haven't seen him do it a hundred times before.

like you haven't traced every inch of his skin with your fingertips.

"anything else?", he gives you a goofy grin, wiggling his eyebrows, "i live to serve you".

"oh, no", you snort, "this is enough for now".

"for now, eh?", he picks up a carrot and starts peeling, "got many plans for me, have you?"

"oh, yeah", you giggle, "don't i always?"

listening to your conversation, one might think that the two of you have plans to get frisky later, but no - both of you know how this evening is going to go. like many before it, you're going to eat and pass out on the couch until one of you wakes up and drowsily prods the other to do the same. then you're going to go through your nightly routine and retire to bed, your limbs tangled in an ungraceful mess as you sleepily murmur cheesy nothings to each other.

there was once a time you would've called this routine "disgusting", thinking it was boring and unexciting. and hey, maybe it is. but living through it now, you don't have a single complaint.

"i'll help", you walk to stand beside mingyu, pecking his arm, "i can chop veggies".

"mm, okay. take the capsicum - wait", he looks at the vegetables he laid out earlier, "i forgot to take it out earlier, babe". then, in his sweetest voice he adds, "darling, would you be a dear and grab the capsicum from the fridge?"

"well ofcourse, honey", you play along, opening the fridge, "anything for you".

the two of you chuckle, your mixed laughter echoing in the kitchen. while pulling out the bag of capsicum, your eyes catch a lidded glass bowl, filled with something yellow.

"hey babe?", you ask, lifting the lid off the bowl.

"yeah?", mingyu hums.

"we have corn here", your voice is airy at the sight of your favorite vegetable, "how - when did you buy this?"

"picked it up while coming home", he answers absentmindedly, his attention focused on the carrot, "been a while, thought you might like it".

"i do".

epiphanies truly can hit you anywhere, eh? you would've never predicted that one would strike you while you're helping your boyfriend prepare dinner - but it's apt, you suppose.

See the full post

780 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #anyway #not even slightly surprised by jeonghan being in my top 10 tags lol

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yutasbellybuttonpiercing · 3 years ago

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I’d like to see you try - L.DH

Pairing: Lee Donghyuck / Haechan x (fem!bodied) reader

Word count: 4682 words

AU/Genre: non idol!AU, smut, enemies to lovers, switch!Haechan, switch!reader

Other members: Mark Lee, Huang Renjun, Lee Jeno (briefly), Na Jaemin, Zhong Chenle, Park Jisung (briefly)

Warnings: voyeurism, exhibitionism, dirty talk, brat taming (?), choking, spit play, squirting, slapping (face and clit), switching, rimming (m receiving), fingering and breif oral (m & f receiving), mutual masturbation (?), unprotected sex (use an umbrella when it rains), creampie, dues are watching, so this is your minor mxm warning

A/n: this is pure, shameless filth, this was not supposed to turn out like this, but I got carried away with switch!hyuck... Also, a fun little game: count how many times I said ‘fuck’ in this.

Summary: Once Donghyuck shows up in your Discord to game with you and your friends, a dispute arises quickly. Donghyuck gets on your nerves, though he's hot as fuck, and you wonder how far you can push him until he breaks.

Donghyuck has enough of you humiliating him in front of your friends and comes over to put you in your place, though he's underestimated your inner switch.

"Fucking hell, why would you waste your ult like that?" You groan, falling back against the back rest of your gaming chair, pushing the mic of your headset closer to your mouth so everyone on the Discord could hear your insults properly as you eye the lettering on the screen.

Defeat.

"Sorry," is all Jeno can add and you sigh as you quickly type in a "gg" into the text space, despite having lost miserably.

Your close friend group of Overwatch grinders consist of five people: Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle, Jisung and yourself. Everyone except Chenle you've met through the online game itself, Chenle studies at the same university as you.

"I get that every now and then a team won't click, but when it comes to you I don't think I can sympathize."

"Jaemin, stop quoting The Living Tombstone," Chenle chimes in.

"Should've picked Mercy..."

"Guys, there's some guy I'm sort of friends with and he wants to join our team, is that alright with all of you?" Jisung interrupts Jaemin, the youngest of the group not being the type to talk much during gaming, so his request surprises you at first.

"Of course, the more the merrier!" Jeno grins, you can make out his eye smile through the little video tile on your screen. He's probably hoping the one to join will be even worse at the game than him.

The rest of the group agrees as well and Jisung invites the new participant into the call. He has his video paused, but you can see his tag.

FullSun.

Alright. Whoever that might be.

"Hello!" He says and your eyes bulge out.

"Donghyuck?" You screech, alarmed. You've never been particularly good with recognizing voices, but this voice you'd recognize anywhere since it's all you hear at 3 in the morning yelling at his teammates when you're trying to get some sleep during finals season.

"No way..." Donghyuck responds, finally turning on his camera. He sits there, on his gaming chair, looking handsome as ever with his headset on. Sure, you've always found him cute and incredibly interesting, and you definitely wouldn't close the door in his face if he ever asked you to fuck, but the longer you live beside him, the more of a menace he becomes. "You're the girl living next to me who can't seem to shut the fuck up!" His voice sounds mocking, but playfully so.

"Are you shitting me right now? You're the one who screams the house down at the crack of fucking dawn! I can't remember the last time I didn't wake up to your sweet yelling at 4 am," you scoff, glaring directly into your webcam.

"Other people would kill to have my angelic voice wake them from their slumber you ungrateful bitch." Donghyuck smirks and nods to himself, tongue poking through the flesh of his cheek.

"Take that back you stinky little gremlin!"

If you weren't so immersed in your fight with Donghyuck, you'd seen the mixed reactions of your friends. Jeno looks pretty taken aback, eyes wide as he stares at the wall behind his desk, not wanting to get anywhere near the middle of this. Jaemin on the other hand is just grinning widely, watching the drama alongside Chenle who has the audacity to bring a bag of popcorn, leaning back in his chair as he throws piece after piece of the sweet snack into his mouth, watching almost as contently as Jaemin. Jisung had even gone so far as to completely turn off his camera and mic, you assume he's embarrassed since he had been the one to introduce Donghyuck into the group.

"I bet you can't even game properly," Donghyuck remarks, eyebrows raised thinking he's won.

"You keep shouting at your teammates, Donghyuck, not me. I believe the real reason for your yelling is that you, in fact, can't game for shit and blame everyone else on your team," you smile, crossing your arms as Donghyuck just blinks at the screen, mouth agape. "Or am I wrong?"

"Listen here, I play better than everyone on my team, I probably play better than you. You could learn a thing or two from me, maybe I should just come over and teach you how it's done," Donghyuck fumes.

"Don't get your hopes up, Hyuck. I bet you play as bad as you fuck."

At your words, Donghyuck gasps, Jeno chokes on his own spit, then logs off immediately, Chenle 'ooh's and Jaemin whistles, clapping his hands thrice before leaning forwards, folding his hands underneath his chin.

"I-" Donghyuck clears his throat. "I don't fuck bad."

"Then how come I only hear typical dry-dicked gamer sounds from your room and never blissful moans?" You tease, theatrically imitating the sounds of a moan while briefly locking eyes with Jaemin who nods approvingly at your performance.

"Don't start something you can't finish, doll. I bet you couldn't even take my cock, you only know how to run that mouth of yours, maybe you need someone to put you in your place," Donghyuck says and he looks worryingly less offended as you'd hoped.

"I'd like to see you try, little man."

And with that, Donghyuck leaves the Discord. For a second, you cheer to yourself, convinced that you've successfully bullied Donghyuck out of wanting to play with you, but just a second later, there's an aggressive knocking on your door.

"No way..." You gasps disbelievingly, taking your headset off to get up.

"Open the fuck up," it sounds from outside the door, followed by another, more aggressive knocking sound against the hard wood. You hesitantly make your way over to the door.

"What are you doing here?" You yell through the closed door and you earn a chuckle in response.

"I knew it, so much bark and no bite at all. I thought you wanted to see me try, pretty. What is it, have you changed your mind already?" Donghyuck answers and you'd lie if that didn't spark some excitement in your veins.

"I didn't think you were being serious," you admit and Donghyuck simply chuckles again. "Open the fucking door."

And you do, not even thinking about what you're doing as your hand reaches out to wrap around the door knob, twisting it to reveal the sight of Donghyuck's figure standing in the dim hallway, crooking his head to the side. "Why did that take you so long?"

"I was contemplating if some mediocre at best sex is worth the walk from my desk to the door." You grin and you swear you can hear Donghyuck growl before he lets himself inside, closing the door behind him with his foot, caging you between his body and the wall behind you in an instant.

"Why are you such a pain in the ass, huh?" Donghyuck talks lowly, minty breath hitting the skin close to your mouth.

"Maybe I just like riling you up." You smile, eyes flickering down to his lips, before looking back up into his own. "You're cute when you're angry."

"You're such a little brat," Donghyuck hisses before his hand comes up to wrap around your throat, relatively gently at first as he searches for any discomfort in your eyes. After finding none, he intensifies the hold on your neck, pressing his fingers deliciously into your pulse point. "Open your fucking mouth."

Intensely turned on by his dominant act, you obey, and soon after he spits inside your mouth, his saliva mixing with your own and you press your thighs together for some friction.

This obviously does not go unnoticed by Donghyuck due to your general physical closeness at the moment, and he smirks down at you. "This turns you on, hm?"

"Kinda," you manage to bring out, his pressure on your throat hard enough that you become lightheaded, but you still don't want to give in to him completely.

"Kinda?" Donghyuck chuckles deeply. "I bet if I reached into your panties right now, they'd be soaked. Should I check?"

You can do nothing but whine at the preposition, and Donghyuck takes this as a sign of consent, reaching his hand into your panties. At the first touch against your clit, you buck your hips involuntarily, pressing your lips together to not give him the satisfaction of a moan.

Donghyuck's fingers slip deeper, brushing over your folds to feel the wetness that's seeping out of you. Instantly, he grins, reaching even deeper to plunge a finger into your hole, just briefly, forcing a moan out of you before he withdraws it again, pulling his hand completely away from you to hold his wet fingers up in front of your face.

Finally, the hand around your throat loosens and you take a deep breath just before he wraps the same hand that had just been inside your pants around your jaw, pulling your face even closer to him so that his right hand is free to grope at your tits instead.

"Look, since you want to go around and underestimate me, humiliate me in front of your friends, I'll do the same. I'm going to make you cum, right here, on my fingers, make you moan loud enough for them to hear, then I'll fuck the brattiness out of you right in front of your cam, wouldn't you like that?"

"F-fuck." That's all you can manage to bring out at the thought of Donghyuck fucking you in front of your friends. "Wh-y wait so long, just sh-show them now."

"You're such a filthy little whore, you know that?" Donghyuck spits at you before grabbing onto your hair, pulling you away from the wall and pushing you into your room. He puts you right onto your gaming chair where you've just sat a few minutes ago, and he speaks into the headset, seeing your friends still in the call.

"Can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear!" Jaemin answers, grinning knowingly at your flushed cheeks behind Donghyuck.

"I don't want to make any of you uncomfortable, so if you don't want to see me brat-taming her, please get out of the call," Donghyuck explains to the two remaining participants (apparently, Jisung left too after you'd taken so long to open the door), plus a really confused looking Mark and Renjun who seem to have joined the call too late to understand what's going on.

"Let's get to it, sweetheart, you wanted them to see, now why don't you give them a little show, get naked for us." Donghyuck turns to you.

"Make me," you snap at him before yelping as Donghyuck practically rips your shirt over your head, exposing your naked tits to your friends, then pulls your shorts and panties down. He grips both your knees and pushes your legs apart, showing your glistering wet core to the audience.

"Fucking hell," you hear Chenle's voice through the headset, Donghyuck had turned the volume up to the max so you could hear them properly.

Donghyuck runs his fingers through your folds, collecting your wetness on them before showing them to the camera, scissoring them in the air to show how your wetness still connects them.

Next, his fingers go back to your core, spreading your glistering lower lips apart for your friends to see.

"You see this? Look at her, dripping for me." Donghyuck grins before slapping your clit harshly. You whine out, immediately clenching around nothing. "Something seems a little hungry to be filled."

And with that, Donghyuck plunges two fingers into you without a warning, moving them around and about slowly at first before picking up his pace, hitting against your g-spot perfectly. You have to bite into the back of your hand to keep quiet.

"Look at her, fuck. Isn't she so fucking hot?" Donghyuck asks and earns a few curses in return. He reaches out and presses his hand down on your lower stomach, right above your pelvic bone to feel the way his fingers press into your g-spot over and over again.

The movement of Donghyuck's fingers intensifies with every second and soon he angles them upwards over and over again, using the strength of his whole arm to finger-fuck you. At this point, you can't hold back anymore, a loud cry emitting from your throat as you cum hard on his fingers.

"Fuck, she squirted." You can hear Chenle laugh, but you're too hazy to really take in what just happened. Only as Donghyuck pushes his fingers, three of them this time, back into you, you cry out from oversensitivity.

"What is it, baby doll? Thought this was just going to be mediocre at best, huh? What happened?"

"Sensitive..." you bring out, head clouded with the aftermath of your intense orgasm as Donghyuck begins to switch from fucking you with his fingers to rubbing over your extremely wet clit and folds.

"Oh, I know. I just made you cum, sweetheart. It was so easy for me to make you cum, you squirted everywhere and all your friends saw. Shouldn't you be embarrassed?" Donghyuck grins at your already fucked out form before pushing his fingers into you again, setting a fast pace from the start and you don't even try to contain your sounds anymore, feeling too good and too overwhelmed to care at this point.

Donghyuck's fingers feel so fucking good inside of you and you don't even want to imagine what his dick might feel like. It all feels like too much already, but in the best way possible.

Briefly, Donghyuck attaches his lips to your clit, sucking on it harshly a couple of times before he throws you over the edge again, pulling his fingers from your gaping hole just in time for you to squirt again, and this time, he keeps rubbing over your hole in rapid motions, causing the wetness to keep coming out of you, your orgasm seemingly never ending.

Once it does, though, Donghyuck begins stroking and massaging your thighs, spreading the wetness of your squirting all over your skin before plunging two of his soaked fingers right into your mouth.

"Fucking shit," Jaemin curses and you open your eyes (though you don't remember when you closed them) to look at the screen. Everyone's eyes are on you, Chenle and Jaemin are obviously touching themselves over their pants, Mark looks at you with wide eyes, biting onto his bottom lip while Renjun looks pretty fucked out himself, but you don't see him moving his hand or anything.

It's so fucking hot.

"I just made you cum twice, you ungrateful bitch, what do you say?" Donghyuck pulls his fingers from your mouth to grab your jaw, angling your head so that you're looking at him.

Apparently, it had taken you a little bit too long to answer him as you feel him slapping your cheek, not too hard, just enough to sting. "What do you say?"

"Th-thank you," you bring out just before you feel Donghyuck's tip prod at your entrance. You hadn't even realize that he's taken his clothes off, but now that you're looking at him, he's completely nude. Are you really this fucked out already?

"That's a good girl. Now tell them how much you want me to fuck you."

"Th-them?" You raise your eyebrows weakly, and Donghyuck nods in response. You avert your gaze towards your webcam. "I want him to fuck me, so badly. Please, just-"

"Louder, they can't hear you." Donghyuck pats your cheek a few times. "Come on, or are you too fucked out to talk already. Such a dumb little whore, can't even voice what she wants."

"Just fuck me, Donghyuck." You use all your strength to roll your eyes at him. There's something in Donghyuck's eyes that you can't quite describe. It looks intimidating, but you want to play with him, see how far you can push him.

"You're such a little brat-" Donghyuck begins, coming closer to you, but you beat him to wrapping his hand around your throat by wrapping yours around his. Donghyuck looks taken aback, honestly, but just seconds later, his eyelids flutter as you put more pressure onto his pulse point.

"You did well making me cum, pretty boy, but I think someone should put you in your place. You're way too full of yourself, maybe you should be filled with something else?" You smirk, suddenly feeling a whole lot more powerful and energized as you lean forward until you're towering over him and you reach out to slap his cheek lightly with your unoccupied hand. "Open up."

Much to your surprise, Donghyuck immediately obeys, opening his mouth and you spit a glob of saliva directly between his lips. As soon as it hits his tongue, Donghyuck breathes out shakily.

"Swallow."

"This is wild," you can hear Chenle snicker, but you honestly don't have it in you to care right now, not when Donghyuck's so pretty and submissive for you.

"Look at you, Hyuckie. Isn't this so much better? Having a pretty girl take care of you?" You tease, but the next second, Donghyuck lifts his own hand to wrap around your throat as well.

"Fuck you," he brings out before both of you let go of the other's necks, hands entangling in each other's hair as you smash your lips together in a heated kiss, full of so many different feelings.

"I want to see you fall apart, Donghyuck," you bring out in between kisses and he just chuckles lowly against your lips.

"I'd like to see you try," he mocks your words from earlier before getting up to switch places with you, sitting on the chair with spread legs. Instantly, your hands move to roam over his thighs from your place on the floor beneath him.

Hooking your hands under his thighs, you pull him closer. Donghyuck's intense gaze is on you the entire time, almost as if he's forgetting that the two of you are being watched.

His cock stands proudly before you, and you finally reach out to touch the soft skin of his shaft with your fingertips, teasingly dragging them up and down his length, your fingernails softly scratching over the surface, and Donghyuck hisses at the sensation.

You lean forward, allowing a glob of saliva to drip onto his tip before you use your hand to spread the lubricant over it, making Donghyuck's hips buck at your ministrations, eyes shutting briefly at the feeling.

"I love teasing you, Hyuck. Makes me feel how desperate you are for me." You smile innocently as you thumb at his slit, forcing a moan out of Donghyuck, and though he completely ignores your words, he's spurring you on to go further.

You lean forward, pressing your hands against his thighs so he spreads them even further before you begin to mouth at his balls, keeping eye contact as your tongue laps over the skin, just before you decide to take things further, gradually moving downwards to let your tongue tease at his perineum.

In response, Donghyuck chokes on a moan, the feeling of your warm wet tongue against this sensitive part of his body making his length throb and leak precum onto his stomach. You grin as you move a tad lower and press your tongue against his hole.

Donghyuck tenses, lewd erotic sounds leaving his lips now even louder than before, his hands grab onto the armrests of the chair to keep himself grounded.

"Look how much you react to me even though I haven't even done much. I barely touched you, Hyuckie, and you look like you're about to cum just from my tongue against your pretty hole," you tease before pressing your tongue harder against his rim, fingers digging into the soft flesh of his thighs.

Something incoherent falls from Donghyuck's lips at the same time as you can hear Chenle snicker, and Jaemin responding with a deep groan. Your eyes dart over to the screen for a second just to meet eyes with said boys who finally pulled out their lengths, rubbing over them at a steady pace. Mark's gotten even closer to the camera, his eyes are glazed over with lust as he studies the way you make Donghyuck tremble with your tongue. Whatever Renjun's doing seems to be requiring both of his hands, they're both shoved into his pants as he remains in a similar position to Donghyuck's.

Spitting onto Donghyuck's hole, you pull back, watching Donghyuck's hazy expression turn confused for a second until he feels your finger circling over the ring muscle. His eyes go wide for a second until you begin inching the digit inside, making his eyes roll back and his mouth fall open slightly.

"Is this really happening?" Mark gasps, sounding highly confused as to why he finds this so arousing. No one pays him any mind, though, except for Renjun who just whimpers loudly.

"Hm? Does it feel good, baby?" You ask Donghyuck who seems so fucked out already that he can't form a proper sentence. You move your finger inside him, slowly, circling it around his warm walls, inching deeper all while keeping close attention to his face in case he seems uncomfortable.

"Yes," Donghyuck admits finally, pupils dilated as he breathes heavily, his hole clenching around your finger every so often.

"You're so pretty like this, such a pretty boy, taking my finger so well," you praise, licking over his shaft briefly, making Donghyuck moan out. "I bet you could cum from this alone, isn't that right?"

Just as the words leave your lips, you angle your finger upwards, pressing into his prostate, and Donghyuck nothing but jumps at the contact, hole clenching tightly around your digit as even more precum oozes out of his tip onto the soft skin of his stomach. The moan he lets out is nothing but pornographic, but sounding so raw and desperate at the same time that you have to clench your own thighs together at how hot it is.

"Fuck, look at Jun," Chenle laughs and you look over at the screen again, immediately met with the sight of Renjun shimmied out of his pants with his fingers inside his own hole.

"Fuck," Jaemin responds, drawing out the syllable as he watches the blushing Renjun as well. All of the attention seems to spur him on nonetheless as shortly after, he cums all over himself with a broken whine.

"Like what you're seeing, Hyuck?" You ask, pressing into his prostate again, earning the same reaction as before. "Don't you love the attention? They're looking at you, pretty boy, listening to your desperate sounds as you're getting fingered by me. Look how much it turns them on to see you like this."

"I might not be as straight as I thought," Mark pipes up, mumbling, and Donghyuck whines loudly at both of your words. You quickly suck his tip into your mouth, circling it with your tongue expertly all while pressing your finger into his sweet spot over and over again.

"F-fuck, s-stop, I'm gonna cum," Donghyuck finally manages to bring out, so you pull away from him at his request, watching him pant before you.

"I want you to cum inside me, Hyuck."

Donghyuck whines just as he's getting out of the chair to push you onto it again, switching places with you. He taps his tip onto your clit twice before finally sinking inside of you painfully slow. The stretch is delicious, and he fills you out so perfectly that you already feel like you don't want this to be a one time thing.

There could've been more teasing, Donghyuck could've made you wait even longer to finally feel his hard cock enter you, but it seems like he's just as desperate to feel you around him as you are.

"Jeno, come back on, you gotta see this," you can hear Jaemin probably calling Jeno so he knows what he's missing out on, "yeah, they're fucking now. God, it's so hot."

It sounds like Jeno's rambling on the other line, but you honestly don't understand anything, and you actually don't care when Donghyuck finally bottoms out inside of you. You don't even realize how you blur everything else out when you look into Donghyuck's eyes as he slowly pulls out and pushes back into you.

Donghyuck's leaning forwards to whisper in your ear. "You feel so good, baby, I'm not gonna last long," and his voice sounds so uncharacteristically gentle that you feel your heart pounding fast and hard against your rib cage.

"It's okay," you whisper back, kissing his lips briefly just before Donghyuck leans back, pulling you closer to him by your thighs before roughly grabbing onto your waist to piston his hips against you harshly, making you moan out.

"Fucking finally," Chenle comments, but you really couldn't care less at the moment, not with how intensely Donghyuck looks down at you, not with how perfectly his length drags along your walls and the way his fingers toy with your clit to still make you cum before him.

Your moans mix with Donghyuck's as you inch closer and closer to your releases. Your gaze flickers over to your monitor just perfectly in time to see Jaemin cumming all over his hand and shirt, and fuck is it hot. Chenle seems like he's pretty close, too, and Mark finally has a hand wrapped around himself as well. Renjun looks intensely fucked out, still, not even bothering to clean the drying cum off of him as he just watches how Donghyuck fucks into you so roughly.

With your eyes trained back on Donghyuck, you hold onto your own thighs, pulling them a little closer to your chest so Donghyuck can hit deeper inside of you, tip crazing against your cervix every so often in the best way possible, making you feel every single centimeter of his impressive length.

"Please, Hyuck, fill me with your cum," you whine out as you feel yourself getting embarrassingly close to your third orgasm already.

Donghyuck whines, leaning over you once again to smash your lips together into a passionate kiss, the position making it harder for him to rub your clit, but you actually don't even need it to cum right now.

So you do, letting go as the wave of release washes over you, hands coming up to grasp Donghyuck's biceps to keep yourself grounded as you ride out your high against his body with a string of high-pitched moans and syllables of his name.

This seems to be enough for not only Donghyuck, but also Mark and Chenle to finish as well as you hear them curse and groan through the headset just in time with Donghyuck who pushes in so deeply as he finishes off inside of you with a loud groan that you're seeing stars all over again.

Donghyuck stays inside you as you try to catch your breaths, never breaking eye contact. The silence that fills the room is not uncomfortable at all, and you feel yourself longing for Donghyuck all over again, but not entirely in a sexual context. Somehow, this act of pushing and pulling, and making each other cum so good built some kind of trust between the both of you, and you want to see him again.

"Okay, guys, this is kind of awkward now," Mark breaks the comfortable silence and you want to yell at him for it, honestly. But before you can, Donghyuck groans, despite knowing Mark for a good half an hour at most, and turns towards the Camera.

"That's your problem." And with that, Donghyuck leaves the Discord, and turns back to you, kissing the tip of your nose. "I don't know about you, but I could go again."

You giggle as you press a kiss against his cheek. "I can't believe you're still hard."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, you seemed like the kind of guy to fall asleep right after. Do you really think you can still manage to go another round?" You tease, yelping as he suddenly picks you up and throws you onto your bed.

"Fuck you. I'm going to show you."

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randomshyperson · 4 years ago

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Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Sorry for your lost - Part I “I will grieve”.

Serie Masterlist here || Part II|| Read on AO3

Summary: When your wife Natasha passes away in a car accident, a part of you dies with her. It takes a few months of mourning for your psychiatrist thinks the best alternative is for you to join a grief group. And there you meet Wanda Maximoff, and learn to live again.

Warnings: (+16) mentions of death, panic attacks and anxiety, grief, self sabotage, mentions of abusive family background, mutual attraction, explicit consent, therapeutic conversations about death, self-deprecation, healthy methods of coping with grief, possible triggers about anxiety, hurtful behaviors, domestic wanda.

Chapter warnings: Heavy angst, death.

Author’s notes: Hello readers! I'm finally back to posting something, but I disappeared for a good reason, I was writing three new series. And here is the first of them. I really enjoyed this work and it's something I've been trying to write since I watched WandaVision, and only now I've managed to put it into words. I am not finished yet, but there is only one chapter left, so your reading will not be affected. Pay attention to the warnings, and good reading!

Tag list (let me know if you wanna be tagged)

@mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch

//-//

Chapter One - I’ll grieve.

You wished you could go back to sleep as soon as you opened your eyes. The sound of your alarm buzzed loudly throughout the room, and after putting it on snooze mode at least four times, you finally got annoyed enough to grab it and throw it across the room. But the sound continued.

Letting out a grumble of dissatisfaction, you pushed the comforter off you, and sat up in your bed. Your room was a mess, but you just skipped through the clothes on the floor to reach the phone, turning off the alarm through the new crack you made in the screen.

"Honey, are you up?" you heard your mother's distant voice calling you through the door, probably from the living room or the kitchen. "Don't forget your therapy today."

You sighed impatiently, running your hands through your hair. The damn group therapy.

Grumbling lightly, you forced yourself to take a shower, not wanting "poor hygiene" to end up on your progress report card.

A while later, when you were finished, you went into the kitchen. Your mother was using her laptop on the counter, and just waved at you.

"Are you going to take me?" You asked her with your hands in your pockets. Your mother took her eyes off the screen to evaluate the sweatshirt you were wearing, and you rolled your eyes at her disapproving expression.

"You know, you could try driv-"

"Mom" You cut her off in earnest, your heart racing momentarily. You don't drive. An she knows. Your mother sighs, putting her hands up in a sign of surrender.

"It was just a suggestion dear." She retorts as she stands up, reaching for her car key on the key rack exiting the kitchen. "But I'm busy with the store, you'll need to take the subway next time."

"Thanks for the support." You grumble as you step out in front and your mother lets out a wry chuckle.

You frown and let out a dissatisfied exclamation as you step outside feeling the sun's rays on your face.

"You're not a vampire, cut the drama." Mocks your mother by pushing you lightly to get you out of the way.

You grumble as you walk to the car. And when you are sitting on the seat, your mother is starting the vehicle and she asks:

"Are you sure you're not going to eat anything?"

Looking out the window, you just mumble that you're not hungry, and she shakes her head in disapproval before you back the car up. You don't speak any more on the way.

//-//

Your mother dropped you off in the parking lot of a gymnasium where the therapy group would be meeting. You sighed as you got out, and thanked her for the ride and the money she gave you to eat, even though you probably weren't going to use.

Resisting the urge to run away, you forced your feet to walk toward the place.

There were a few people at the door, but you didn't smile at any of them, entering the place with your head down and your hands in your pockets.

And then a woman greeted you, and put a little sticker with your name on your shirt when you gave her your papers.

Then she signaled the way you should go, and you ended up on the gymnasium court, where there was a wheel of chairs, and a table with food and drink, and several people scattered around, who you thought were part of your therapy group.

Sighing impatiently you made your way to the bleachers of the venue, hoping to be alone until the session started and you could leave.

Fortunately it wasn't long before the leader signaled for everyone to sit in the circle, and you sighed as you stood up. You ended up with one of the chairs on the far left opposite the therapist, which could be bad since he would see you clearly.

"Thank you very much for coming." Said the therapist smiling gently as his gaze roved over everyone in the circle. You kept your gaze on your shoes. He made a noise with his throat. "Who would like to start today?"

The silence lasted for a few seconds, but then someone was speaking. You forced yourself to come back to reality and pay attention.

"[...] and this is my fourth week around here." Said a woman in a leather jacket. You noticed the army lanyard around her neck. She was talking about an accident when you got distracted again. Lightly poking your eye with your finger, you tried to focus again, letting out a low sigh. And then the therapist was talking again.

"We have new faces today." He said and you felt your heart speed up. You absolutely did not want to talk in front of strangers. "Why don't you share with us, miss?"

You raised your gaze to meet that of the therapist, smiling gently at you. The rest of the group looked at you as well. Taking a deep breath, you began to wiggle your fingers on your leg.

"I don't... I've never been in a group." You say clumsily. "What should I say?"

"Whatever you wish to say." He answers with a smile. You swallow the urge to tell him you didn't want to talk at all. Realizing your lack of response, he is quick to add. "Why don't you tell us why you are here?."

You let out a dry laugh.

"I really didn't have much choice." You retort wryly. The therapist looks slightly surprised, but makes no mention of interrupting you. You let out a sigh before clarifying. "My psychiatrist, she...she didn't approve of my social ratings. She wanted me to talk to other people. People who... went through the same things I did." You count staring at the floor. When you look up again, the group still waits for you to continue, and you sigh, running your hands through your hair. "I haven't... I... I haven't talked to other people outside of my family in six months. Not since..."

You move your head, sniffling slightly as you straighten your posture. The therapist clears his throat.

"You just need to share whatever you are ready to tell us." He says gently, you nod slightly feeling extremely vulnerable. "But remember that this is a safe space. There is nothing to fear here."

And then he is talking about methods of easing the guilt, and dealing with the pain and you were distracted again. You would like to go back to bed. It must have taken a while, but the session is finally over.

The group dispersed around the room, and you went toward the therapist's desk to have him sign your schedule. He smiled as you approached.

"Miss Y/N/L, I was happy to hear that you would be joining us today." He said greeting you with a handshake. You nodded, taking the paper from your pocket. He chuckled, but accepted it. "You know, I'd like you to try to have a partner in the group, it's recommended for cases like yours."

"What do you mean cases like me?" You ask snidely, but he doesn't care.

"Doctor Harkness gave me your chart." He explained as he signed the paper you gave him while you frowned. "Extreme Social Anxiety in the first few months of treatment. Tendency to complete isolation, introverted..."

"Yeah I know my problems, buddy." You interrupt him with irritation. "You don't have to list them for me."

The therapist gives a lopsided chuckle, and holds out the signed paper to you. But he adds with a serious look:

"I'm here to help you, Y/N." He says. "Don't forget that."

You don't respond and take the paper, turning toward the exit.

//-//

Your week passes slowly and tortuously. Which is surprising because you barely get out of bed. And then it is group therapy day again, and you are making a new crack at your cell phone screen.

Your mother greets you with a pat on the back as you enter the kitchen, and she is walking past you toward her own room.

You know you have to take the subway today, and you are trying not to think about it too much. As you are walking out the door, your eyes pass quickly over your car key, and you think you have a flash of memory, but you shake your head quickly, pushing the thought away. And then you walk forward.

And you are late for the session, because you can't take the bus to the station, since your feet simply didn't obey you. But that's okay, you don't really care.

You weren't the only one who was late. When you went to enter the door, a red-haired woman bumped into you, also running to get in. She smiled slightly as she apologized, and you just made room for her to enter first.

"Sorry Stephen." She said to the therapist as soon as you two entered the gymnasium, "I had an emergency with the kids."

The man just shook his head with a smile, and waved for you both to sit down.

"And why were you late today, miss Y/L/N?" He asked you. You shrugged your shoulders.

"I didn't wanna come." You retorted and the group giggled, and the sudden sound startled you slightly, but you just sat with your arms crossed.

"Do you want to try again?" He retorted with light humor in his voice. And you bit the inside of your cheeks. And then you looked down at the floor.

"I couldn't get on the bus." You confessed next. Stephen looked at you tenderly, though, and you didn't like the feeling of your chest heaving slightly.

"And why do you think that happened?"

You shrugged, uncomfortable.

"I don't know. I... There were too many people." You said embarrassed. And then you started twiddling your fingers, feeling all eyes on you. "I just... I knew I'd have to say hello to the driver, and the conductor. And then I would pass strangers in the hallway, and one of them would sit next to me. And I just... I couldn't."

Stephen nodded slightly in agreement.

"It's okay, Y/N. " He stated. "No one is judging you here."

You let out a dry laugh, and Stephen blinks in surprise, which spurs you to explode.

"Everyone is judging me, Doc." You say through gritted teeth, swinging your leg. "It's as if I can hear the gears in people's brains forming opinions about me." You state with a sigh. "Like my mother for example. She...she...acts like I'm past the time of mourning." You explain with tears in your eyes. "Like there's a limit, and I'm extending her goodwill. Because it's been six months, and she doesn't want me to be sad anymore. But guess what? I don't know how to move on!" You state angrily. "I can't! If I don't miss her, what's left for me? If I don't... God, I can't do this."

And you stand up, wiping your tears away, and walk out of the gymnasium, heading for the restrooms. You feel your heart racing, and it's hard to breathe.

As you rest your hands on the sink, your brain starts to wander back to the day of the accident again. You choke, because it feels like you're sinking again. You see the water rising through the metal of the car. Your hands on the steering wheel, and then on the seat belt. You shake your head, pushing the images away, and rush to turn on the faucet in front of you and pour the water on your face.

You take a deep breath, trying to stop the tears. And then there is someone entering.

"Are you okay?" Stephen asks and you nod lightly, ignoring the trembling in your hands as you stare at him through the reflection of the mirror. "I gave a break to the group, wouldn't you like to walk with me?"

"I'm not good company right now." You grumble but he smiles, nodding slightly as if to repeat the invitation. You take a deep breath before turning around.

You walk silently and slowly to the outside of the gymnasium, and then he is speaking again.

"You were very brave today." He comments, and you let out a dry laugh. "Why don't you believe me?"

"I panicked today." You say. " It doesn't sound very brave to me."

Stephen smiles guiding you through the gymnasium entrance toward the parking lot.

"You talked about a trauma to a group of people." He says. "That takes a lot of courage, even if you don't believe it."

"I don't believe in anything." You grumble, but Stephen doesn't mind your hostility. He stays with his friendly posture.

"I would like you to accept my request from before." He said after a moment. "About a group partner."

You let out a sigh.

"I don't even know what that means." You retort with slight impatience as you reach the edge of the parking lot. You notice the garden a few feet ahead of you.

"It's like a therapy buddy." He explains with a smile. "We encourage socializing here. That's why Agatha recommended this group to you."

"Oh, of course you do. Agatha is a bitch." You wryly wipe your hands across your face. Stephen laughs lightly. "How does that work anyway? Do I have to hold someone's hand? Exchange friendship bracelets?"

"No, it's much better." He says with a chuckle. "You talk to that person. You exchange experiences with them. You learn to trust somebody else again."

"My god, it looks like a fucking Disney movie." You retort with irritation and Stephen lets out a laugh. And then you let out a sigh, shrugging your shoulders. "Okay, I'll do it. I have nothing to lose, and it seems that neither you nor Agatha will leave me alone if I don't agree."

"We want you to feel better. Don't take this as a punishment." He says, guiding you back to the gym. You nod slightly, thinking that it really does feel like punishment anyway.

//-//

You see Agatha the same week. Your appointments have been switched to monthly meetings instead of weeks as they were at the beginning of treatment, and while you appreciate the familiarity of seeing her, you can't help but feel irritated with her.

"Someone's grumpy." She comments as soon as you sit down on the couch in the room, to which you roll your eyes.

"You are always so very tender, Agatha." You mock as you cross your legs, hoping the time will pass soon.

Agatha laughs lightly, finishing tidying up a few things on her desk. And then she gets up and sits down in the armchair a few feet in front of the sofa where you are, carrying a small notebook in her hands.

"So, why don't you tell me how your your first two sessions in group therapy went?"

You let out a dry laugh.

"Like Stephen didn't tell you everything." You sneer and Agatha just smiles, waiting for you to speak. You let out an impatient sigh, before stating wryly. "It was amazing, doc. It only took two sessions for me to have a panic attack, so thank you for that."

"Why do you think that happened?"

You squeezed your eyes.

"I have no idea." You retorted. "I'm not the doctor here." Agatha laughs lightly, and then opens her notebook and starts writing something. You sigh impatiently. “Really, you're going to start that again?”

"If you don't talk, I write." She states simply, and you roll your eyes, shifting on the couch uncomfortably.

"Agatha, I just... I couldn't get on a bus, okay?" you tell her, and she closes her notebook to look at you attentively. You take a deep breath. "There were a lot of people. I don't mind walking anyway. It helps me think."

"You don't mind walking eight blocks?" She asks with a slight irony. "That's pretty athletic of you."

"It's weird that you know my address off the top of your head." You play lightly, and she just laughs, straightening her posture.

"Why don't you just tell me what you want to tell me?"

"Why don't you ask me what you want to ask?"

Agatha blinks slightly in surprise, and then she shakes her head slightly, opening her notebook again. You sigh.

"Okay, sorry." You say, and she looks at you for a moment before closing the object again. I... I thought I was drowning again.”

"Are your nightmares back?" She asks seriously, and you deny it with your head.

"I feel too anxious to sleep." You tell. "And then I black out from exhaustion in the night or in the morning. I don't dream anymore."

"Have you been taking your medication?"

You sigh.

"Of course I have." You say. "I don't... I'm having trouble keeping my mind still. Like the first few months, you know. Everything seems so noisy now."

Agatha nods slightly, becoming thoughtful for a few moments.

"I know it may sound strange to hear that, but that means you're getting better." She declares and you frown in surprise, then let out a dry laugh.

"How is my peak anxiety a good thing?"

She opens the book again, but before you can ask what you said wrong, she is reading.

"The first day you were here, you said you felt like you were empty." She narrated and you swallowed dryly. "During your first two months, you continued to describe that you felt like an empty shell. And that you no longer had any dreams, thoughts, or opinions. Without your wife, you said you were no longer here."

You felt your eyes fill with water at the mention of her. But you swallowed your emotions. Agatha turned a page, and read for a few seconds, and then looked at you.

"With your history of anxiety, your mind was remarkably quiet after the passing of your wife." She says. "But now that you're on medication, and therapeutic treatment, plus you're socializing even superficially with the world again, you're starting to feel things again. That's progress."

You look away from her, nodding slightly, trying to believe her words, and trying not to be so terrified at the thought of learning to live again. Without Nat.

You choke slightly, holding back a sob, and then Agatha hands you a box of tissues, but you refuse with a nod, wiping away the tears that have slightly escaped.

"What do you want to talk about now?" She asks after a moment. You take a deep breath, still trying to calm yourself.

"Last week I took a cold bath." You count. "It was snowing."

Agatha blinks in surprise at the information and then lets out a giggle.

"You want me to write it in the book don't you?"

You laugh, wiping away the last of the insistent tears. You just hope Agatha could help you.

//-//

You hate coffee. But you barely slept last night, and now you need to stay awake during the group meeting, so instead of walking to the chair in the corner like you used to, you detour your way to the food and beverage table as soon as you arrive at the gym.

There are a few members around, but you don't look at them, just sidestepping as you extend your arm to the coffee bottle. You pour some, and as you touch the cup, you notice. It's cold.

"Hey sorry about that." Said a girl you thought was named Val or something, as soon as she saw you touching the cup. "We mixed up the shifts yesterday and nobody made new coffee."

You rolled your eyes, picking up the cup and throwing it in the trash. Then you forced a wry smile on the girl and walked outside.

It was cold, but you are boiling with rage. It was just a damn cup of coffee, you thought as you closed your eyes and tried to reduce your anger. Just coffee.

You stumbled with fright when Stephen called out to you.

"We'll get started in a minute." He said looking at you curiously. You just nodded, following him after a few seconds.

You bit the inside of your cheek when you noticed the same coffee girl as before, now sitting where you usually sat. The universe was testing you today.

You just sighed, twiddling your fingers inside your pocket, and walked over to one of the free chairs.

After Stephen gave the briefing, he asked if everyone was all right, and the group lied in unison. You were almost asleep when he called your name.

"I would like to choose your partner today." He says and you feel your heart racing as you straighten your posture. "But I want to know if you have any preferences."

You blink in confusion, and roll your eyes.

"I don't know anyone here, but I'm sure they will all hate me equally, doc." You tried to joke, but Stephen only looked at you with concern.

"No one does or will hate you." He says and you swallow dryly, looking away as you mumble that it was just a joke. Stephen pauses momentarily before continuing. "You know that everyone here has their own experiences of loss and they are unique in their own way, even if they have similarities." He begins and you just wish he would speak soon who your partner is at once. "Usually we don't put new members together, but with the release of one of our members, the number ended up getting odd." He explains. "Anyway, I'm sure you and Mrs. Maximoff will get along very well together."

You frowned slightly at the whole explanation. Then you looked around the group, and realized that this Maximoff woman was the late redhead from the previous session who looked at you curiously. You looked away from her to Stephen.

"Thank you, doc." You said with a slight irony and Stephen just nodded smiling.

"Partners are grieving companions ladies." He says. "We will assess your progress at each session, and then switch partners once the necessary improvement has been achieved."

You grumbled in understanding, and looked away to your lap. When Stephen began to ask about the stories, your mind wandered to the departure time.

And when the session was over you wished you could go to sleep. But Stephen made a slight movement of his head in Maximoff's direction, and you understood that you should talk to her.

Ignoring the urge to show Stephen the middle finger, you just sighed as you got up from your chair and lazily walked over to the woman at the exit. She was talking to a man, and you were even more anxious to address not one, but two strangers.

"Hi." You greeted awkwardly, and both of them turned to you with mild curiosity.

"Hey, you're Y/N, right?" Said the man with a smile as he held out his hand to you. "I'm Bucky. James Barnes actually, but everyone calls me Bucky." He said and you shook his hand, smiling awkwardly. Then he quickly pointed at the woman. "And this is Wanda Maximoff, your grief partner."

"Hi." Wanda said shyly as she offered her hand to greet you. You accepted as clumsily as she did.

"Sorry, I don't know how this works." You say. "Should we exchange numbers or something? Or is that just a therapy thing?"

Bucky gives a little chuckle.

"Oh believe me, they'll know if you're not making it work." He counters. "My first partner was Sam Wilson and we wanted to jump on each other's necks whenever we saw each other. And then Stephen asked us to move in together." He says and you blink in surprise. "We're married now, but that's not the point. I guess I'm getting off topic..."

"Bucky." Wanda interrupts with a smile, and he smiles half-heartedly as well. You frown, annoyed by Bucky's story. You didn't want to marry anyone. "I guess we'll make it work, I hope you don't mind having the company of two tiny restless creatures on our walks."

You look at her with confusion and then you understand, smiling shyly.

"No, it's okay." You say. "I like children."

"Really?" She asks in surprise.

You nod slightly. "Unlike adults, they tell the truth."

Wanda seemed to be thoughtful, but then Bucky lets out an exclamation.

"As group guide, I have to pass the to-do list to you ladies." He says pulling a small notebook from the back pocket of his pants. He pulls out a sheet of paper and hands it to Wanda. "Partners need to develop these habits of socializing and coping with grief together. And yes, there is a test."

You sigh impatiently, tucking a loose string behind your ear.

"That sounds fun." You mock lightly making them smile.

"Anyway, good luck to you two." He says tenderly. "And Wanda, call me if you need help with Tommy. I know a good therapist."

You frown slightly, not understanding what he is referring to, but you prefer to stay out of matters that are none of your business. And then Bucky kisses Wanda on the cheek in farewell and waves to you smiling before leaving. You switch foot weights when you are alone with Wanda. Talking to other people is not exactly your strong suit these past few months.

"So..." You start clumsily when she turns to you.

"So." She repeats equally embarrassed. You then clear your throat and rush to pull your cell phone out of your pocket and hand it to her.

"Give me your number." You say. "That way we can arrange...whatever this is."

Wanda smiles weakly as she accepts the device, and you ignore the curious look when she notices the cracks in the screen. A moment later she hands the cell phone back to you.

"I gotta go." She says. "I need to pick up my kids from school."

You nod slightly and force a smile to say goodbye, and Wanda copies your movement before leaving.

You stare at your cell phone next, noticing the slight anxiety in your stomach as you read the contact "Wanda Maximoff" on the screen.

//-//

By the weekend, you are miserable. Just like the first few months.

You spilled some tea under your bed, and when you went to clean it up, you ended up taking the objects that were lying there. And then you found a crumpled piece of paper.

It was your farewell speech. The words you wrote down to speak on the day of the funeral. The paper you pulled out of your pocket when you got home from the ceremony and probably fell under the bed when you collapsed on the floor from crying so hard.

Suddenly your chest tightened and you couldn't breathe. But you didn't want your mother to worry, so you concentrated on remembering the exercises your therapist had taught you.

And when the room started to get too small, you left.

But because it was cold and rainy, you had just taken a hot shower and had decided to brew tea before you finished putting on a sweater, you had bent down to pick up your socks, and the liquid fell on the floor.

You went outside without your shoes, and your mother let out a worried exclamation when she saw you standing outside, staring at nothing.

"Honey?" She asked walking out the door after seeing you through the kitchen window. "Honey, what is it?"

You didn't answer. Your face was wet. Your mother's hands wrapped around your shoulders, and she gently pushed you inside, worried that you would end up getting hypothermia.

"I'm fine." You gasped as she led you inside, but she just shook her head. "I'm fine."

"No, honey." She retorted making you frown. "You're not."

"Mom."

"Sit down."

And then there were blankets around you, and socks on your feet. And your mother was in the kitchen, on the phone, but everything seemed stuffy. You began to be absent again. Thousands of memories flashing through your eyes.

An image of yourself on that living room floor, laughing while your girlfriend had her arms wrapped around you. Your mother was pouring a glass of wine for each of you, and you were happy to tell her about your engagement.

Then an image of you running across the room, trying to dodge the tickles your father tickled you while you laughed.

Then a puppy in your hands on the floor. You looked at it fondly, laughing at how cute it looked.

Looking down, you saw a hand on your thigh. It was your wife's, the ring on her finger. She smiled at you. You were happy because that was the day you told your mother about the house purchase.

You gasped slightly when you felt someone's hand on your shoulder suddenly.

"I need you to tell me three things you can see." It was Agatha. God, you should have been out of reaction long enough for her to get here. Wiping away your tears, you took a deep breath, trying to reason straight.

"I... I..." You started, but your brain didn't seem to obey you. You took another deep breath. You could see the carpet, so you told her so.

"Two more." Agatha asked tenderly, her hand caressing your back from top to bottom.

"The... table." You replied crying. "I can see the table."

"That's right, honey." She said. "Just one more now. Tell me what else?"

"My feet." You add breathlessly. "I can see my feet."

"Now breathe with me, okay?" She asks. "Like I taught you."

The exercises help you to calm down again. You apologize for scaring your mother, and for making Agatha drive to your house, but neither of them is upset with you. You feel exhausted, but the doctor wants to talk to you after she accepts the cup of coffee your mother offers her.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" She asks as you sit on the covered porch, fluffy pillows around you.

You lower your gaze to the floor, sniffling lightly.

"I found my grief speech." You count. "Under my bed. The next minute I was outside."

Agatha sighs.

"You ready to talk about the accident."

You raise your eyes quickly, frowning, because it wasn't a question.

"W-what?"

She takes a deep breath, crossing her legs.

"It's suffocating you." She clarifies. "You need to talk or these attacks will happen again."

"I-I don't..."

"It won't be today." She interrupts with a tender smile. "Tonight you need to sleep. But we won't prolong this any longer. You need to talk about it, even if it’s only to scream."

Clenching your jaw, you hold back your tears as Agatha takes one last look at you before getting up. She murmurs that she will see you on Monday, but you don't look at her.

//-//

You don't sleep well on Sunday. And it's definitely because you can't stop thinking about your appointment.

And it goes well for the first twenty minutes. Agatha doesn't pressure you, and agrees to hear about your week, without mentioning the incident on Thursday.

There is a pause after you have told her about the dog barking noise in the early morning and then you know it is time to speak up.

"I was driving." You say softly suddenly, ignoring the feeling that your throat wants to close up. Agatha has her hands folded in her lap as she listens to you. "She...she was sleeping in the passenger seat." You swallow dryly, trying to count and not get caught up in the memory again, your heart racing. Talking is almost like going back there. "I looked at her for a moment and I got distracted... and then... we just..."

You only realize that you are crying because tears fall on your hand. You blink, sniffling. Taking a deep breath, you continue.

"We fell into the water, and Nat...she just...I couldn't get her belt off." You gasp breathlessly. "The water just...kept coming up around us. And she looked at me, and... she just shook her head like she knew what was going to happen." You tell between sobs. Agatha's eyes water, but she doesn't interrupt. "I just...she pushed me. She pushed my hands away and she told me she would follow me. And god... my dumb brain believed her!" You confess angrily. "She told me she was right behind me! And I swam out and when I came up she wasn't with me."

You shut up, not being able to tell anymore through the sobs. You can't even see the office clearly because of the tears.

It takes a moment for you to speak again, your head down.

"When I swam back, the car was completely covered with water everywhere" You recount. "I...I was going to dive again.... I wanted to get her out of there. But the people who saw the accident jumped in after us. And they pulled me out of the water. And I kept thinking that if I hadn't been distracted, she...she would be...."

"No." Agatha interrupts by offering you a tissue. "Natasha had a stomach injury, don't you remember?" She counters and you gasp, the words echoing in your brain. "That's why you couldn't remove the belt."

And then you were remembering clearly now.

Soft music echoed in the car as you hummed the tune and drove to your friends' house. Your wife mumbled softly beside you, making you smile as you watched the sleeping figure. The red hair in front of her face.

"Hey sleepyhead." You called softly, looking away from the track for a moment. "We're almost there."

Nat muttered in agreement. You bit your lip, thinking she looked beautiful. And then you heard a noise, and a white light in the window. You barely had time to frown when the impact threw your car off the road.

Your body tensed immediately as you sat up, looking around with desperation. The car was sinking fast and you turned to Nat.

A wound on her forehead was bleeding, and she was clearly disoriented as you touched her hands. You hurried to unbuckle her belt, but it was jammed tightly in her waist, and you gasped in shock at the wound.

"N-no." You grumbled, trying to move the metal, but Nat gasped in pain, pushing your hands away. You could barely breathe in desperation. Your feet were freezing, because the water was already at your ankles. "Babe, move please. We have to get out."

Nat advanced toward you, taking off your belt. You tried to touch her, but she pushed your hands away again, intending to guide you out.

" Sweetheart, go! Open the door! " she commanded and you shook your head, the water on your knees. Nat forced a smile, the tears in her eyes made your stomach turn. "Don't worry love. I'm right behind you."

As you opened the door, the water moved all the way into the car, and you held your breath Nat repeated the words "I'm right behind you" one more time. And then you swam out.

When you reached the surface, you were alone.

Sobbing, you couldn't say anything else to Agatha, and she proceeded to stroke your back, trying to soothe you with words of affirmation.

"I need you to remember some things honey." She says tenderly. "You couldn't have helped Natasha. She got stuck. You have to stop blaming yourself for what happened." Agatha whispers to you, and you sob. "Remember the investigation, okay? The police said that the driver of the truck was drunk and hit your car after he fell asleep. It wasn't your fault." Agatha says trying to remind you. You gasp, countless memories flooding your head at once. "Say that for me, will you?" She asks and you gasp. "Tell me it wasn't your fault."

You sob, burying your face in your hands. It takes a moment, but you repeat the words.

"It wasn't my fault." You whisper breathlessly. "It...it wasn't my fault."

When you leave therapy that day, you feel different.

You think that it is the healing process that is beginning to work. You still have a long way to go, but you have the feeling that a weight has been lifted off your back, because you have started to believe your own words. You could not have saved Natasha.

There is still a deep sadness in you, but you still buy your favorite drink on the way home, and try to stay in the living room for a few hours before going to your room when you are inside.

#wanda maximoff #wandaxreader #wanda x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda imagine #wanda imagines #sorry for your lost #wandaxyou

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doumadono · 11 months ago

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Thank you for the tag @lifeform286 ♥

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 49

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 129,155

3. What fandoms do you write for? My Hero Academia, Demon Slayer, Jujutsu Kaisen, Blue Eye Samurai, Genshin Impact, Star Rail

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? The stalker (Muzan smut) Vowed to avenge (Akaza smut) Hard-earned (Douma smut) HEADCANONS - DOUMA A forbidden fruit (Wriothesley smut)

5. Do you respond to comments? I occasionally dabble in that, and I absolutely relish clapping back at the haters. Over the past three years, my writing got the ax not once, not twice, but thrice, and guess what? Did I throw in the towel? Hell no, not a chance! ^^

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Whispers for the abyss - merman!Dabi x fem!OC

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I'm uncertain at the moment. Currently, I'm immersed in crafting the Kvitravn saga (featuring Viking!Dabi x Reader), and I anticipate that this series will conclude with the most joyful ending imaginable :)

8. Do you get hate on fics? Oh, absolutely! It's practically a regular occurrence for me. A few years back, I was catching flak because my English skills weren't top-notch. Now, as my writing and language prowess have evolved over the years, I'm getting hate for apparently being too serious with my language in fics ^^ It's amusing, really. But hey, I've learned to forge a solid pact of trust with myself, and that's all that matters at this point.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, I dabble in smut across the entire spectrum, exploring all conceivable types, including the darker and more intense themes.

10. Do you write crossovers? I used to write crossovers, though I've shifted focus. Still, I have some ideas lingering, like MHA x Death Stranding, that might remain unexplored.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes! It happened once.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No but I don't mind translating my fics to Polish, Romanian, German and Japanese (I'm a polyglot).

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! I frequently co-write fics with my beloved @crystalwolfblog ♥ (she's amazing!)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? My favorite ship is KiriBaku. I adore their dynamics, especially how Eijiro is the only one Bakugo calls a friend. Their cute appearance together and mutual respect for each other's abilities and personalities make them stand out for me. I also enjoy TodoKami, despite the limited interactions between the boys in both manga and anime.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I'm currently juggling two WIPs. The first, tentatively titled "Blind Hearts," revolves around Dabi, who has already unveiled his identity to the world. The narrative takes a compelling turn when he encounters a blind Reader. Despite being on his vengeful path, something in him begins to shift, leading to an ending that diverges significantly from what we witnessed in the manga. The second project, still untitled, unfolds as a crossover story set in the My Hero Academia universe. The protagonist is a Reader wielding an exceptionally powerful quirk, drawing inspiration from Higgs' abilities bestowed upon him by Amelie in Death Stranding. As of now, the completion of this crossover remains uncertain.

16. What are your writing strengths? It's challenging to say definitively; I don't believe I possess any.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I don't have any.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I'm fluent in some languages so it's easy peasy most of the time.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I used to write for Marvel.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? I love all my children equally ♥

Tagging @mrskokushibo @muzansfangs @dabismoon @dabisqueen @sillakits @viburnt

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @wingsonghalo

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

47!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

753,979 holy shit

3. What fandoms do you write for?

These days just Mob Psycho 100, but I have written for Digimon Adventure and Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle as well.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

A little surprised by number 5 here! its such a teeny fic compared to the others.

Issho 2. Break 3. A Mother Muses 4. Socha 5. Stars on My Ceiling

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try! There was a big gap in 2022 where i had a newborn and zero time and energy, but usually I try to get a thank you out to everyone.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm the "happy ending guaranteed" author so very few of my fics end sad, but I do have a Digimon fic called Hugs Are Like Vitamins that is an exception to the rule. Very sad ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The end of Issho is probably the most satisfying ending, but I am unsure if its the happiest. Honestly, Stars on My Ceiling is cavity inducing. Effervescent is also painfully sweet. Chapter three of Into Bloom. all of these are pure fluff.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Extremely rarely. It has happened, and I don't engage. Deleted! Goodbye!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

You know, I don't consider Leaps and Bounds smut. Its a fic that has a lot of explicit sex in it, but the story is about learning to be comfortable in the bedroom. If the sex is sexy, that's a bonus hahaha

10. Do you write crossovers?

I haven't yet, but I think about them sometimes...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. Here's hoping it stays that way.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Two, I think! Break was translated into Russian by @teawithbread!!! Thanks so much!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I think I would be a nightmare to work with actually. I have had people ask and I politely decline.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I am not very into romance in general, so I have to say TeruMob. They're basically the only ship I care about. I enjoy the idea of TaKari in Digimon but more as soulmates... could be platonic or romantic. They are inseparable no matter what.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My Never Hopeless sequel, A Dream In The Dark. UGHHHHHHHHH its only on ff.net bc i am so ashamed of dropping a project. I do still have the BINDER i wrote all my notes in though so perhaps when I am 80 I can dig it up and finish it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Children! Hello! I write realistic children! And connecting readers to memories they forgot they had, apparently. Its a frequent comment topic.

I'm very good at describing hard to describe emotions and I think my pacing is good. I like writing endings that punch you with a final line to tie it all together. I'm a sucker for that shit.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I slow down dialogue with a few too many movement descriptions, I think. I just really like body language aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I am too tired to really think this through. For the most part, seeing as I am writing for shows that are originally in Japanese, I try to keep food names accurate. I try to translate words unless they have no english equivalent like genkan. Foyer or entryway doesn't feel the same? I also tend to keep specific titles in japanese, seeing as they can get awkward or clunky when changed to english equivalents.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

On Ao3 it was Digimon and that's all you're getting out of me.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I love all my children equally (Issho). But no seriously Break is insanely good and when i have Nightjar finished I will feel like its my new favorite child. Usually its whatever the last thing i wrote was.

UUUUUUUUU Tagging @ygodmyy20 @sodasexual @babovens @and-devi-remains @fizzy-champagne

#tag game #tagging game

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qianinterprises · 4 years ago

Text

WayV Reaction: finding out their S/O has Borderline Personality Disorder

Pairing(s): WayV x Reader Genre: angst, fluff Warnings: mention of mental health, depression, anxiety, symptom's included in BPD. Trigger Warnings: depression, anxiety, hostility, mention's of self-harm, self-doubt, low self-image Word Count: 3.9k

Author's Notes: I'll be honest and say that I had to research Borderline Personality Disorder. I knew what it was/had heard of it before, but in order to write something accurate, I tried to educate myself. If you believe that you have BPD, please don't be afraid to go to a doctor or a trusted friend/family member. Your mental health is important.

Author's Note 2.0: I also want to mention that (as per earlier request), I am also working on a YangYang fic that features a reader with Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm not entirely sure when it will be posted (soon hopefully), but it is in my WIP's.

Author's Note 2.0: Kun's is a little different, I apologize for the difference and the shortness. Tagging:@treasuretaeil

Kun:

Kun was in the middle of dance practice when his phone began to ring. At first, he let it go to voicemail, but by the third ring, Ten paused the music and Kun grabbed his phone out of his coat pocket, expecting to see your name popping up on the screen. You were at home today after a particularly rough week at work that had left you feeling spent. Kun longed to be home with you, holding you tight in his embrace. As his eyes met your next door neighbor's name on his phone screen, his stomach dropped. Mrs. Huang only called when it was really serious. "Hello?" he asked into the receiver. "Oh thank goodness!" she cried, voice laced with anxiety enducing agitation. "What's wrong?" "It's (y/n)! They've brought me five big tins of muffins! I can't possibly eat all of these! And they've gone to the store twice with ingredients! I think something's wrong! Kun sighed. This morning, you had been so happy. You were practically singing to the birds. He knew it wouldn't last though, especially with the week you'd had. "I'll be there soon!" Kun left practice without another word and when he got home, he found you in the kitchen, covered in flour, vigorously mixing a creamy liquid in one of your metal mixing bowls. The kitchen was covered in ingredients; flour puffed on the counters and floor, broken egg shells on the table, a half empty measuring cup of milk teetering on top of the fridge. It was bad this time. Kun knew you had borderline personality disorder. It had been something you'd told him in the beginnings of your relationship. He had seen you at your worst, and at your best, but it still broke his heart every time he witnessed you at a breaking point. "(y/n)?" You paused in your vigorous mixing, eyes glancing up to meet his. He didn't say anything, eyes locked on yours, but his eyes held no pity. Instead, they held pure, unfiltered love that had you putting the whisk aside. "Do you love me?" you whispered. A small wisp of a smile reflected across his face as he crossed the room, arms wrapping around your body. "More than anything," he whispered.

Ten:

You and Ten had only been together for a short amount of time; three months to be exact. It was an exhilarating three months. Time you wouldn't give for anything in the world, even though you didn't get to see each other often with Ten's very busy schedule. However, after the "Kick Back" album released, WayV was allowed to take a break as SM turned their attention to the scheduled release of NCT Dream's first album. Normally, Ten would then be whisked away for some SuperM promotion, but with Baekhyun's enlistment, SuperM was also allowed to take a break as the company decided what to do. Which ultimately meant you got to spend more time with your boyfriend, which, most would deem as a good thing and, you were happy he was there, however, it became a lot harder to hide your little secret from him. Your best friend, Kun, had introduced you to Ten (and the rest of the members), when Kun officially became a member of NCT. Kun and Ten had immediately hit it off as friends, which meant you also spent a lot of time with Ten, thus leading to a blossoming friendship and later attraction. So Ten lying in your bed snoring softly wasn't that far of a stretch from a common day encounter. The difference was, today, you didn't feel like yourself. Being in a friendship with Ten meant that, yes, you saw him often, but not often enough that you couldn't keep parts of yourself private. Which is exactly what you did, especially as your tiny crush on Ten grew into something mutual, eventually leading to a relationship. The truth you were so afraid of revealing was your disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder. A disorder you'd been diagnosed with since you were a your teenager. You'd been teased and bullied for it when a classmate you'd once called a friend announced your disorder to the entire school. This, in turn, had terrified you of ever telling anyone, which you had gotten away with. Ten didn't know and, if you had it your way, he'd never know. He was an idol. What did he need with a girlfriend with this disorder. However, with him hanging around a lot... "Hey? What's wrong?" Ten's voice snapped you from your thoughts. You'd been so distracted you hadn't realized his soft snoring had ceased. "Nothing," you said softly. His lips pursed, perplexed as he softly reached a hand up to brush across your cheek, something he'd done several times. But today, you didn't want it. You shied away from his hand, curling yourself up on the opposite side of the bed, cursing yourself for acting different than usual, but you couldn't help it. Ten didn't bat an eye. He simply gave you a soft smile and sat up in the large bed, but he didn't try to touch you again. "Feeling sad today?" he asked. You nodded meekly. "Would you like to talk about it?" he asked. You paused for a moment to think it over. You truly didn't. You wished you could keep it a secret forever, because Ten might leave you. But you also knew that the stress was taking it's toll on you. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder..." you whispered. He didn't say anything at first and you were preparing yourself for him to call you a freak and leave. Instead, he stretched his arm out and softly wrapped his pinky around yours. "I don't know much about it. But I promise I will learn," he whispered. Tears brimmed your eyes because finally, someone wasn't going to leave you.

WinWin:

You had never been much of a touchy person. Holding hands was one thing, and even then, something you weren't wholly comfortable with, but hugging was completely different. You didn't care much for hugs, especially from complete strangers that often found you rude for rejecting their hug. You barely even hugged your own family, let alone a total stranger. This was possibly what spurred on your relationship with Sicheng who, also didn't care much for physical affection, despite the fact the other members of NCT practically drowned him in it. Your relationship was just... different. At least in the minds of society because you didn't cuddle against Sicheng's chest constantly or plop down on his lap just because he was sitting down. Instead, you preferred wrapping your pinky around his or draping one of his sweaters over your shoulders. This worked for the two of you though others found it strange. However, there was an anomaly that Sicheng, though you had been together for a little over two years, had no idea about. This anomaly included the fact that sometimes, you liked hugs. Sometimes, all you wanted to do was drape yourself over your boyfriends lap and let him hold you until your mind screamed at you for the overload of affection. Sometimes you wanted him to wrap his arms around you in bed and fall asleep with you on his chest. That's what happens when you have Borderline Personality Disorder, and it wouldn't have been that big of a deal if Sicheng had known, but he didn't. It started out you longing to keep it a secret in the early days of your relationship. It wasn't something you advertised very often. However, as your relationship progressed, you knew you should have told him, but as five months turned into six, it became a crushing weight of guilt for not telling him in the beginning. Sicheng had already invested a lot of time and love in the relationship when you had not been wholly honest with him. And the more time that passed, the harder it was for you to get the words out. At this point, it wasn't even your fear of rejection because of the disorder, it was a nagging fear that your dishonesty about the disorder would drive him away from you. That would truly be a crushing point. However, as Sicheng began spending more nights at your apartment, it was getting increasingly harder to hide, especially as your mood dropped or when you suddenly began to crave affection. Times like today. The moment you'd rolled out of bed, you knew you needed some type of affection, but as Sicheng made no advance to give it to you throughout the day, your mood dropped. It really wasn't his fault. He had no idea how you were feeling, but as you finally had had enough and wrapped your arms around him from behind while he was washing the dishes after dinner, you felt him stiffen before grabbing a towel to dry his hands. "What's up with you today?" The question was an honest one, but it still felt as though you were making him uncomfortable by touching him. As your arms slacked from around him, a tear sprang to your eye but you were quick to wipe it away as he turned to face you. "I need to tell you something..." Your voice was wavering. You had no idea how he would respond. He nodded for you to continue, one of his hands gently taking hold of yours, playing with your fingers as a soft sense of relief washed through you. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder." His once blank face morphed into one of confusion. "What's that?" he asked tentatively. You sighed. You had been expecting the question but that didn't make it any easier to define. "Its like having mood swings. One day I feel happy the other sad... Sometimes anti-hugs, sometimes super affectionate." You could tell he was still confused, but as he nodded and wrapped his arms around your body, drawing you against his tall frame, you let out a shuddered breath, body relaxing against him.

Lucas:

Books were never Yukhei's strong suit. He preferred numbers and basic information plotted out clearly in front of him. Books were too all over the place with too much information. He wished they could be like websites that gave him the briefest of explanations with a "read more" feature. Yet here he was, flipping through slightly crinkled pages because he wanted to truly understand, and books were always credited with having the most information. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder," you had explained earlier that day when you had ducked out of the way of one of his mega bear hugs and proceeded to slump your shoulders and beg him to give you time alone. You'd locked yourself in your shared bedroom after that and, although you had texted him to apologize for your behavior, you added that today was just an off day, your disorder really affecting your mood. "Well how can I help?" he had asked. It was your response that prompted him here, pouring over books in the local library hoping to find anything that would help him understand Borderline Personality Disorder in the best way possible. As he flipped through pages and learned, he had begun to feel several different emotions. On one end, he felt sorry that you'd had to go through the disorder alone, but on the other, he questioned why you'd never told him, even after a year of being together. However, a big part of him wondered if maybe you had been telling him, just without words, especially because you'd never tried to hide any of your mood swings. He'd just always assumed you were on your period. As the hours ticked away, Yukhei's eyes remained glued to the startlingly dry books stacked up around him, but as he learned more about the disorder and, by default, more about you, he couldn't seem to stop. At least not until his phone vibrated in his pocket and, as he fished it out, your smiling face met his eyes. He answered the facetime request and gave you a tired smile that quickly morphed into concern when he noticed your bloodshot eyes. "Baby? What's wrong? Did something happen?" "My boyfriend left me! That's what happened!" Were you... pouting? "I didn't leave baby, I'm at the library." Confusion flashed across your face. "Why?" "To learn more about Borderline Personality Disorder." A giggle erupted from your lips and Yukhei sure was glad to hear it, especially after reading texts about BPD leading to depression. "Why didn't you just google it?" His mouth gaped open as he dramatically clutched his chest. "Googling something so important in my significant other's life?! That's scandalous! I should do enough research to write my own 20-page essay!" This time, it was a full blown laugh. "You're a dork!" "I'm your dork!" "Well come home, dork! There's a lot we have to discuss!" Your smiling face alleviated any fears that may have been swirling around Yukhei's chest. With a nod, he slammed a book shut so hard it send a loud, slamming bang throughout the library, prompting nasty looks sent his way. Sheepishly, he waved them off and stood up. "I'll be home soon," he promised, blowing you a kiss before hanging up. Yukhei had taken the hastily thrown news a lot better than you'd expected. You knew he couldn't have learned everything, specifically because it varied person to person, but you knew that he would be there for you, even on your bad days. And that was all you could ask for.

Xiaojun:

Dejun was incredibly perceptive, even if he was incredibly dumb sometimes. He could tell when you weren't quite feeling yourself, even though he often didn't know what was causing it. It was at those times that he did everything he could to put a smile back on your face and make you feel "normal" again. He didn't understand how counter productive that actually was. It was really your fault. You were the one keeping secrets, but as the smile fell from your face the second Dejun traded the couch for the shower, you couldn't help but think that maybe he simply preferred you to be happy rather than deal with you when you weren't. Somewhere in the back of your head, you knew he was just doing what he thought would help, but now, especially in your state of mind, you couldn't shake the aching feeling in your head. "Hey, are there towels- are you crying?" Dejun's voice yanked you out of your thoughts and you brought your hands to your cheeks, rapidly trying to wipe away the clear droplets painting your face, but it was too late. Dejun had already seen. He was shirtless when he perched on the couch beside you, face etched in concern. He opened his mouth, likely to retort off some lame dad joke or tell you some funny story you'd heard a thousand times. "Can you not?" You hadn't meant to snap. The words had simply flown out before you'd had the chance to them. His face fell into a pout that you knew you often fell for, but today, it only upset you more. "Stop Dejun!" The pout fell away. "Stop what? I'm not doing anything!" "You're trying to make me smile!" He blinked, staring at you for a moment. "That's a bad thing?!" You sighed, slumping against the couch cushions, resigning yourself to the fact that he didn't understand. Then again, you didn't let him understand. "Just tell me why I'm upsetting you," he begged, all traces of bad humor gone, replaced with sincerity. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder! My mood fluctuates! And when you try to make me smile when I'm sad or mad makes me feel like you don't like me when I'm not always happy. But I can't always be happy." He stared at you in shock for a moment, mouth opening and closing as if he didn't know how to respond. An appropriate response, you supposed. You'd been friends for a while now and dating for several months, yet this was the first time you'd told him. You were about to get up from the couch, sighing as he didn't respond after several minutes, when he placed a hand on your thigh to stop you. "Why didn't you tell me?" You shrugged. It wasn't that simple. "Can you tell me the best ways to comfort you?" Again, you shrugged. A sigh released from his mouth and your head hung low. "I'm going to do some research. As your boyfriend, I want to make sure I'm making you feel better, not worse. So, while I'm doing that, I also need you to tell me if something I'm doing is making you feel worse. Can you do that for me?" His words were sincere, his intentions true. Another tear fell from your eye, dropping against your cheek, but a smile broke out across your face. "Thank you for caring," you whispered. He pulled you onto his lap and pressed a soft kiss to the nape of your neck. "Always."

Hendery:

Waking up this morning had been such a struggle, even as the delightful scent of your boyfriends cooking wafted under the cracks of the door, greeting you. Usually, this would rouse you from your slumber, prompting you to creep into the kitchen and sneak a taste of the delightful breakfast. Today, however, you rolled over in the blankets and pulled the duvet over your head. Today was a lay in bed day, you just hoped your boyfriend would accept that. "Come on sleepy head! It's time to wake up!" Kunhang's annoyingly chipper voice spouted, pulling you from the confines of sleep in a less pleasant way. "No," you groaned, rolling over, burying your face deeper into the pillow. "Come on! Breakfast is ready!" He pulled the blankets off your body and you let out a loud hiss, eyes turning to bore into him. "I said no!" He dropped the blanket and backed off, lifting his hands in surrender, but you could tell he had questions. You never acted like this. "What's wrong?" You grunted, not responding, turning away from him, but he wasn't having it. "Yah! I asked you a question!" he pouted at being ignored. A growl whipped it's way from your throat. "Go look up BPD," you snapped. You could tell that he had more questions, but, after a long moment, he seemed to think better of asking them and, instead, made his way out of the room, leaving you to fall back asleep. It had to have been a few hours later when you were waking up on your own this time, the anger you had felt earlier completely gone now, replaced with your normal, chipper self. You turned over to look at Kunhang's side, releasing he wasn't there and the memories came flooding back to you along with a strong wave of guilt. You shouldn't have treated Kunhang the way you did. There was nothing out of the ordinary with the way he'd reacted to your sleeping for. With a sigh, you threw your legs over the side of the bed and stood up, padding over the floors to the door. You made your way out of the bedroom and down the hall, finding Kunhang sitting on the couch, television with the volume turned down, playing some movie he didn't look too interested in. As the floor creaked slightly under your feet, his attention shifted from the television to you and he was quick to shut off the device. "How are you feeling?" he asked. Your heart dropped into your stomach. Had you really affected him? "I'm sorry for how I reacted..." you mumbled. A sigh rolled past his lips as he patted the couch next to him. You made your way to him, flopping beside him, but keeping your distance, at least until he pulled you against his side. "I understand why you did after looking up Borderinel Personality Disorder," he said. "But you couldn't have expected me to know without knowing." With a nod, you hung your head. "Why didn't you tell me?" "I thought you wouldn't like me if you knew I had a disorder..." you mumbled. Saying it out loud, it felt ridiculous. You knew he loved you. The fact that he waited for you to wake up even after how you'd treated him proved that. But it had been a fear nevertheless. "Now that I know, I can help you rather than making things worse. But in the future, please let me know. I hated watching you so upset without knowing how to help." You leaned against him, burying your face in his chest as you nodded.

YangYang:

(full fic coming soon) YangYang's youth was what truly scared you the most. He still had so much to learn. He was so naive, about some things at least. He could make you feel so good, so loved, when he'd hold you in his arms and kiss your head or when he threw himself across your lap and begged to be pet. You were scared that the second he knew the truth about you, he'd leave, or worse, treat you differently. Your older brother, Kun, had advised you to just be honest with him. To let him know when you had bad days. Yet, here you were, hiding out in your brothers bed, hoping practice would run late so YangYang wouldn't see your crestfallen face. It seemed luck wasn't on your side that day, not entirely anyway, because the door to the room opened and Kun walked in half shirtless, belt unbuckled. "Please don't strip anymore," you'd begged. The boy nearly jumped out of his skin at your words. "(y/n)?! What are you doing here?!" "I missed Yang..." "So why didn't you come to practice? You know you're welcome." Your silence was his answer and he sighed, sliding on another, not sweat-soaked shirt, and sat on the bed beside you, reaching out to gently stroke your arm. "You really should tell him," he whispered. "But what if he rejects me?" "He won't. Sis, I know him. He's not like some dirtbags you've dated in the past. And he might just be able to help you better than I can," he whispered. You knew he was right. He was always right (as annoying as it was). "Will you send him here? I don't want to get out of bed..." "Of course," he said, patting your arm one more time before getting out of bed and making his way out of the room. It was a few minutes later when a sweaty YangYang walked in, searching for your figure before sitting down beside you on Kun's bed. "You wanted to see me?" he asked. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder..." The words just rushed out before you could stop them, but you were thankful. This saved you from yourself. For a long moment, YangYang didn't say anything and you were beginning to think Kun had been wrong for once. "So that's why Kun had me do all that research..." Ok, that definitely wasn't what you were expecting. "Not long after we started dating, Kun made me do all this research on BPD. He even quizzed me once a week! I just assumed it was punishment for dating his sister!" A loud laugh fell past your lips. That was absolutely something Kun would do!

"Are you mad I didn't tell you?" you asked.

"Well, why didn't you?"

"I was afraid you'd leave me like my exes..."

"Then yes, I'm mad!" he said.

Your face dropped.

"I'm sorry..."

"I'll just have to teach you a lesson!"

With that, he threw himself on top of you, pressing his sweaty clothes against you as you shrieked, attempting to get away.

"Guys... not on my bed..."

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