#also if you saw this post twice i accidentally deleted one of them

[toplessoncology]

another thought re: foreman and amber... at different points in the show, each of them literally occupy a space house usually fills, and are used to teach him something about himself. foreman is put "in charge" on and off again so many times, and amber is FREQUENTLY defined by her "taking house's place" in relationship to wilson. i think in these instances are the differences/missing pieces most evident - foreman won't punch down, but can't always command respect; amber loves wilson and affords him more agency in the relationship - distinctly un-house-like things.

another thread of this concept spinning wildly away from me and out of sight is how characters clock themselves or others in positions that they consider "being house" and that highlights so much on what THEY think of house - cameron makes a racist joke to foreman, says, what? i'm being house. wilson bursts in the exam room going i had a house moment!! when he made a medical decision based on a small amount of evidence and was right. when characters repeat house's words as their own, it's clocked - cuddy hears it when she's disrespected or argued with by his fellows, wilson hears it when he's given "advice" that is more manipulative than anything.

it all ties into how house as a character is such a mythological legendary figure or is at least narratively presented as such, because he's there even when he's not, and the definition of "being house" extends way beyond his actual person and things people know him for - each character has their own conception of what house is, and what it means to embody him. there's also something to be said about the moments where we as the audience are meant to understand that someone has Been House or Made A House Decision, but no character will acknowledge it textually. they have no problem doing so in other instances so i think there's definitely some insight to be found in where the line is drawn between what is named aloud as house and what is simply understood as him.

i wish so badly that we had gotten to see foreman and amber really really interact cause they're very like eachother in terms of narrative function and character. both of them ARE house, one step removed - foreman is black and amber is a woman, and neither of them can afford to be as messy and reckless as house can afford to be, because they know that they won't be seen as good enough even if they're right all the time. foreman is running from his personal life and feels like an outsider in every situation. amber understands her place and knows that if nobody likes her, she has to be right, to make up for it. both of them have the guts and the brains to be house, but they are just too far removed from the qualities about house that allow him to get to where he is in the world with very few barriers. they're both such fascinating examinations of what you can get away with when you're not at a disadvantage from the beginning

[ourvanishingghosts]

HELLO!!

I hope everythings well right now! Take your time on this request no pressure no pressure! ✨

May i request raihan. piers and leon seperate (leon is optional if it crosses the rules!) following reader (who's account is kind of private) on tiktok or whatever social media and they're met with like pretty pictures or videos of them?

Yeah. Sure. Everything is going good now. I kind of been busy with my 6 hour classes. I also want to thank my friend for making the edit for the Piers section. The edit is linked in that section and it is on YouTube. I didn’t do Leon because I feel like he wouldn’t use social media that much.

Pretty Pictures

Raihan

Raihan was scrolling through his Instagram when he found a picture of a masked Pokémon gym leader

So, he got curious and went to the page that was tagged and only saw pictures of the gym leader wearing their mask

Then he saw that they had their private Instagram link in their Linktree

He requested to follow the account and went back to scrolling through Instagram while he waited

He checked his notifications the next day and saw that the account had followed him and accepted his follow request

As soon as he was ready, he checked out the profile

When he saw your face he was blushing immediately

He thought you were the most beautiful person he’s ever seen

While he was looking through the pictures he accidentally liked an older photo of you and he panicked and unliked it because he didn’t want to come off as a weirdo

That’s when he received a DM from you joking about how what happened

He felt embarrassed until you told him that you were flattered and thought it was a little funny how quick it happened

He confessed that he was just scrolling through your page and thought that you were beautiful and accidentally hit like on that older photo

You sent 🤣 and said that you had done the same thing on one of his older posts because you thought he was stunning

After a while of DMing back and forth you two exchanged phone numbers promising not to leak them and to delete the messages after adding the phone number to your contacts list just in case either of your accounts got hacked

After about a month of texting you two finally meet up since you flew to Galar for a Gym Leader conference that was happening

You were wearing your mask throughout the conference except for when you were hanging out with the other Gym Leaders from your area and Raihan

Raihan promised that he would never post any pictures of you without your mask on

It was at that moment that a beautiful friendship was born

Piers

Piers was scrolling through TikTok, but he was on the app back when it was called Musical.ly

He was going through the the hashtag called PiersEdit and saw an edit that you had made

The edit was to the song The Feels by TWICE

After watching it he click on your profile picture and started watching your videos

The newest ones were edits of the Galar Gym Leaders

Once he finished watching those he sees a video with your face in it and watches it

It a video of you sewing a plush of his Obstagoon and the caption said “If I ever get to meet Piers I might give him this if he wants it.”

He knows you probably got notifications of him liking your video and he commented “I am more than willing to have that adorable plush from such a beautiful person.”

Then the likes exploded and some people were questioning if if you and Piers were in a secret relationship

He just continues to watch your TikToks and sees you’ve made the other Galar Gym Leaders Pokemon and all the videos included your beautiful face

A month later he was meeting fans after one of his concerts and he spots a familiar plush

He walks up to you and taps you on your shoulder “Hey beautiful.”

You turn around and quickly give him the plush and ran off

He hopes to see you again since you put your phone number on the tag

[lilislegacy]

Oop-

I hate when tumblr messes shit up, but Hey, it's me again.

Like in my original aks, I want to reiterate that I'm not trying to come for everybody. Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion. This is just my 2 cents on the whole demigods and menstruation thing

My original ask was kind of convoluted, so I'll just sum it up here.

I like the idea of what demigods being different but I don't like the idea of administration just being completely gone.

I am currently reading jealous of the god, and that is something that Percy directly says is how you get the worst of both worlds.

I love the idea of demigods being more powerful and more protective when they are pregnant or whether their partner is. But imagine not knowing you're a demigod and never getting your period, then thinking "oh I can never get pregnant!" and then get pregnant. That sounds terrifying.

I do like the idea of certain demigods from certain gods having a different sort of thing. Kind of like with Athena, I saw one post about annabeth getting a migraine and shit which is hilarious.

I just feel like having no menstrual cycle. It all seems a little too easy. It's very reminiscent of Alexandria's Genesis if you were around on Tumblr about 10 years ago to remember that. (If not then izzzyzzz has an amazing video on YouTube all about this fake disorder and hoax)

In my original ask I pointed out how It would be an interesting point of view especially for trans demigods.

I am a transperson. I have a lot of dysphoria around that sort of thing. I am currently in pain because of it. So I've been thinking about it a lot.

(Also, this is a completely different headcannon, but I definitely headcannon Leo as a trans man)

Thinking more about it would be interesting to see people lose control of their powers because of how in pain they are I know. I get very upset very quickly like imagine how terrible that would be. (Like Thalia accidentally zapping someone or something)

I'm also a sucker for those hurt/comfort fics surrounding periods and such. Idk why I just like comforting fics lol

I do like the idea that the hunters of Artemis once they become a hunter would not get a period because fuck that.

Also among other things, Artemis is the goddess of childbirth and I feel like she can do that for her hunters.

I did add a little bit more from my original ask because I've just been thinking about it more.

Again, not coming for anyone I really love that everyone has their own opinions and fantastic ideas. It just makes me so happy as an artist!

Thank you! (Sorry tumblr deleted the original one lol)

thank you for the ask! and thank you even more for sending it twice lol!!

now, onto my thoughts. i totally see where you’re coming from. because you are right, part of being a demigod is having to deal with the crappy parts of both worlds. and as much as i would love for female-born demigods to not have to deal with periods, i can totally see them still having one.

so maybe it just works differently? maybe their cycles are longer and they only have a few periods a year? or maybe they are just way lighter? idk. but i still feel like they would work differently than regular humans

i definitely see where you’re coming from on the account of trans-demigods having to deal with it. there would definitely be an added emotional struggle with it along with the physical, and there’s a lot to explore there!

i love the idea of the children of different gods having different symptoms. like you mentioned athena’s kids having more headaches and migraines lol. and maybe ares kids get huge angry mood swings, and maybe aphrodite’s kids get really lovesick and cry every 3 seconds over couples doing cute things lol.

100% with you on the hunters not having one. no boyfriends = no sex = no babies = no period needed. they ain’t got time for that! they’ve got hot girl shit to do. like shooting people with arrows.

i also like the thought of demigods’ powers being heightened when they’re on their period lol. that’s hilarious. imagine a child of demeter having cramps and craving chocolate, and a cocao tree just spurts out of the ground LOL.

thank you for being so nice and wonderful towards people having different headcanons! and whether someone thinks demigods menstruate or not, it sounds like we can all agree that it’s at least different for them than it is for humans.

thank you for your thoughts! they were all super interesting!

[brianwashere]

Ahhhhh I’m so sorry I fucked this up 😭 I accidentally posted the draft then panicked and deleted it and thus deleted the official ask. It’s ok tho bcc I took a screenshot of it so we’re good

Ask: (aos anon again hi:)) i know you usually do romantic or parent/son relationships but imagine reader and fitz are brothers and fitz finally gets to see him again while taking a break from working at shield… reader helps convince him to confess to gemma (fitzsimmons is real and it Can hurt you) also just them being silly little brothers because fitz deserves a break

Hadhsjsfjsjdk ahhh I love this

**I do not own any characters or part of the franchise from Marvel or Disney or Agents of SHIELD**

Pairing: older brother!Leo Fitz x younger brother!reader

Genre: family shit let’s goooo

Summary: look at req

Tw: implied bad childhood

Homecoming

It had been a long time since Leo—Fitz—had come home. You still weren’t used to calling him by your last name. You found yourself excited to see him again after what seemed to be decades of not seeing each other and minimal contact. You knew his job kept him busy but sometimes it felt like he was purposely ignoring your family.

The doorbell rang and it pulled you from your racing thoughts.

“I’ll get it!” You yelled to your parents from upstairs practically tripping on the stairs to get to the door.

You took a deep breath and pulled open the door. You grinned at your older brother.

“Fi..tz.” Your enthusiasm turned to surprise.

He looked so different than he did the last time you saw him.

He looked stronger. There was more muscle on his arms and he now wore a leather jacket instead of his usual sweaters. Not to mention he had a whole beard now.

“Woah…” You gaped and blinked several times.

Fitz’s eyes brightened at seeing his younger brother.

“Hey, Quizno!” Hey laughed some.

You just kept staring at him in surprise.

“You look…different.” You hesitated.

For a second he looked startled then his brow hardened.

“Well I could say the same for you, you’ve got twice as much acne as when I last saw you.” Yup there it is.

You sputtered a laugh suddenly, wheezing and hunching over. He opened his arms and hugged you and you hugged back; a rare tender moment between the two of you.

“So am I gunna get to go inside or am I being forced to stand here in the cold?” Fitz asked.

“Well I was thinking at least 20 more minutes out here before I let you in.” You playfully shoved him off but stepped out of the doorway to let him in.

He took one step in and sighed.

“Something wrong?” You looked to your older brother.

“No no it’s just…strange to be here again. Been so long since I’ve been here….” He trailed off.

You nodded.

“So what’s that sick ass job about? I heard it was for some American agency.” You nudged him with your elbow, trying to get him out of his own head.

“Ya know, I’m not supposed to talk about it. And it’s not American.” He stated with a high lilt in his voice.

You rolled your eyes.

“Is your boss American?”

“Well, yes, but—“

“So then yeah it’s American.” You used your flawed logic just to mess with him.

“What? That doesn’t even make sense—!” Fitz continued to argue how just because his boss was American did not mean that the agency he worked for was.

You just smiled to yourself, knowing you distracted him from the not so good memories of this house.

“Oh look at that! Mum says it’s time to eat!” You interrupted your older brother suddenly.

Fitz hesitated then straightened himself, bracing to see his parents again. You noticed his anxiety.

“Hey, it’ll be fine. You’ve got a good job and a…major glowup.” You nudged his side with your body to which he shoved you back to the other side, grinning again.

“Ready for the mine field that is a family dinner?” You smiled light heartedly at him.

He sighed, nodding and brushing a hand through his hair.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

After dinner went smoother than expected you and Fitz migrated up to your room. You were hanging upside down from your bed, arms wresting on your stomach while your older brother was laying on the ground, throwing a ball into the air and catching it.

He’d asked you about any school crushes to which you’d blushed and told him about someone you were interested in but weren’t sure if you wanted to be friends or lovers.

“So what about you? You got a special someone back at your fancy job?” You questioned.

That seemed to take your brother by surprise and the ball fell on his face. You immediately burst into laughter while he rubbed his nose and shot you a playful glare.

“You’re a little wanker you know that?” His nose was turning red.

“So? You never answered the question.” You persisted.

He groaned dramatically.

“Yes, ok? There is someone I’m interested in.” He admitted.

You perked up immediately.

“Who? Are they smart? Are they attractive?” You questioned in rapid-fire.

Fitz let out another dramatic groan, cheeks turning red.

“Her name is Jemma…” He let out.

“And?” You pressed.

“And she’s smart and kind and beautiful and way out of my league.” He sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

“Oh I wouldn’t say that, c’mon you work with her right? That must mean you spend a lot of time together. Has she ever friend-zoned you?” You questioned.

“No but…I just—-it’s hard, ok?” He sounded exasperated and frustrated. Not with you but with himself.

You quirked an eyebrow.

“Well you should shoot your shot.” You stated matter-of-factly. “You never know what may happen, especially in your super-duper classified line of work.” You shrugged. “I say you do it.”

Your brother stared at the ceiling, thinking. He knew you were right. His work was dangerous; Jemma’s was too. He couldn’t keep hiding from his feelings.

“Yeah…yeah ok. You’re right…” Fitz said quietly.

“Damn right I am.” You grinned at him. “Tell me how it goes next time you visit.” Your grin melted to a smirk.

Your brother just rolled his eyes and threw a pillow at your face.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Bro I wasn’t expecting tumblr to actually send it twice damn I thought it got stuck loading that commenting thing is so funny though that would fr be me

LMAOOO RIGHT??? It’s so on point to the oaeu vibes I saw that and oaeu was my very first thought

LMAO Nagi stays winning in the end fr pursuit really is just writing itself it’s crazy how it’s development just comes so easily

SHSHSHS no we’re just the power duo forming the whole of calculus dw

Saes hair is truly something……idk his whole Emo personality also doesn’t do it for me like not because it’s emo but something about the way it’s done is not very appealing to me….anyways…

SHSHS REAL I see those paragraphs every once in a while and I’m like wait so what’s this doing in the Karasu tag….also when someone people mass copy paste their tags and end up tagging characters that aren’t even mentioned in what they posted im like HUH Karasu fr a rare sight but wait if you actually made more smaus I would fr eat that up it’s funny because just the other day I was like “I need to read a funny smau because whatever I just read was not it” so I just reread what you posted for me earlier on LMAOOO (truly peak)

Pause wait what website just told listed it under ground ghost combos then??? Maybe I accidentally clicked a wiki-ass link then but you get my point LMAOAOA um anyways

Yesss that’s basically how I am too LMAO imagine a triple typed pokemon that’d be kinda funny OOOOH wait I can see Rin being the royal guard in a royal au wait why do I feel like I’ve actually read one where he’s in that position…ok anyways I also thought of Hiori but that’s pretty obvious given his whole parental situation LMAO (giving Wb) wait actually maybe Reo?? Kinda on the same lines of Hiori with parental restrictions where his parents are picky about choosing someone with idk connections or high standing

LMAOO I mean now that you mention it if you want I wouldn’t mind both HAHA I originally meant like pokemon themselves and how you’d try to combine them in combat/format the teams LOL not a dumb question at all I should’ve clarified whoops

50% opps that spread is kinda crazy LMAOO aiku please be my wingman FR imagine you pull something like what sae did on him like you approach Karasu and chicken out and you say ���yeah Aiku thinks your hair looks ass” HAHAHA

CRYING when you change your blog theme for April fools I’ll go by Isagi anon for a day

LMAOOOO Aiku being like “lil bro please help a man out get this ratata AWAY” and Niko makes quick work of it wait aikus sweating bullets and the way Niko wouldn’t care to be set up with someone but just goes with it anyways HAHAHA

Imagine hoopa and aegislash join forces and hoopa opens a portal to that isekai dimension again nagi and reader look over like “fuck no not again” crying houndoom is me mourning pursuit Barou AHAHAHA GARCHOMP NIDOQUEEN IN A TUX AND DRESS imagine Karasu picked them out with yukis advice (begrudgingly) maybe they ran into each other at the shop but since yukis a coordinator and all he’d totally pick the outfits that go the hardest

PLEASEEEE LMAOOO the term programming princess has me dying THE FREESTYLE PISSING actually one of my fav quotes it was so funny I remember reading those tags and crying “multiple dick mentions but ITS NOT NSFW”

SHSHSHSH OTOYA LMAOO no aiku still has many aikulations to preach about he’s not ready to go

LMAO hey I mean content is content pursuit ftw also unrelated but I’m crying the Duolingo edit with Rin HAHAHA you should edit that one emo girl to be him too(the one with the purple hair)

- Karasu anon

LMAOOOO tumblr is so unpredictable it’s ridiculous it always does the exact opposite of what you want it to do!! like it’ll delete ask drafts when you’re trying to type them and double send when you don’t want them to…either way it’s problematic 😩

oaeu is basically canon ig HAHAH we’ve got oaeu tik toks now!! and yesss pursuit is more like me just peeling back the layers and looking at the world that exists already instead of coming up with it as i go…honestly that’s one of the things i really like about just worldbuilding and have vague plot ideas but then leaving the idea alone for a while — i feel like it marinates a bit and then if i end up coming back to it (like i did with pursuit) when i’m ready to actually write it it’s already developed by itself in the time i’ve been gone (which sounds crazy but it makes sense to me LMAOOO)

together we’re basically isaac newton…that reminds me that my high school calc teacher had a poster hanging in his room that said “sir isaac newton died a virgin and that’s what he gets for inventing calculus” or something LMAOO idk why but it’s giving oaeu…not aiku himself though but like oaeu chris prince would def have that kind of poster (karasu and otoya got it for him and made yuki give it to him and he’s so happy to get a gift from yuki that he hangs it up in his office and treasures it forever)

i feel like sae is just emo in a cold way not even a funny way?? like we’ve discussed that we like sassy guys (ex nagi and karasu) and i feel like one emo i DO like (megumi but lowkey only his miraverse version) is also very sarcastic and whatnot which makes him funny and witty and entertaining to write whereas sae is just like. blunt and rude but he’s not even clever about it if that makes sense HAHA

speaking of megumi…jjk’s finally over…can’t lie i was very very unimpressed with the ending but uh at least it’s done ig 😭 lowkey feels unreal that it’s over

NO BECAUSE THOSE PARAGRAPHS LOWKEY HAVE ME HEATED like ok i do know some people who write those so i can’t be too outward about how much i dislike it but come on…put some effort in…i’m not trying to be the fic gatekeeper here or anything but literally just take the time to put one character’s name in the fic because what do kaiser gojo and eren jaeger even have in common to have a fic all be referring to them??

HELPP not the pokémon knock off wiki leading you astray 😩 but yes i agree i was also confused that there weren’t ANY rock ghosts LMAOO

i think in one of the newer games there’s some mechanic with triple typing?? but i don’t get it so i couldn’t explain it HAHAH agreed i can see rin being a royal guard OR now that i’m thinking about it i have no idea how i didn’t see it earlier but BAROU!!! he would absolutely eat in that role because he has that sass that meticulousness that physique that discipline he’s actually even better suited for it than rin in my opinion…kunigami could pull it off too but idk i don’t fuck w ginger anime characters like that so i can’t explore that avenue any further 😭 i agree hiori is the obvious pick…actually now that you mention it that’s exactly the route that i’m taking for the reo fic!! which leads into the next paragraph well ig 🤩

uhh honestly i don’t even know half of the pokémon because they’re all from the newer gens and of the ones that aren’t i don’t think i have used any in my playthroughs?? so unfortunately no team breakdowns in that sense (although for some reason scovillain is giving me strong kunigami vibes…i can really see him having one LMAOAO maybe because we’ve slandered it sm) BUT for the tentative plans i have so far (these are subject to change on a whim so don’t be too married to them 😰)

for kaiser it’s angst in a fantasy au so i think i’m going to go with this au idea i had for him a while ago when i was searching for my next long fic (this is pre hollyhock) and just condense it…sadly kaiser is very similar to karasu in that he’s incredibly easy to write about (although his characterization is finicky he’s agreeable to most situations so by all rights i could be righting him more but i just don’t like him SLKJFHSJ) anyways he’s either an angel or a demon (haven’t decided which) and reader summons him to solve some problem or smth i have to do some research into a specific myth i’m thinking of but that’s the very very basic edition!!

sae is enemies to lovers in a fantasy au ngl no idea how i’ll approach this because even though enemies to lovers is such a common trope with sae i feel like i don’t see it?? i also am not a huge enemies to lovers fan (this is so controversial but i think it’s overdone, never as good as people think it is, can lean misogynistic, and is usually cringy “tension” to up “spice”…ik childhood friends to lovers is considered boring in today’s climate and i always get hate for this but i think it is the SUPERIOR trope and not at all boring if written well…childhood friends angst >>>> “enemies” angst) but anyways rant aside i’ll probably figure something out fantasy au’s are super easy to come up with stuff for so it shouldn’t be too difficult

i also have 0 idea what i’ll do with hiori but since you said miscommunication i know for a FACT it’s somehow going to involve karasu meddling i just get such strong vibes…like whatever we do bro is going to be involved in some way shape or form it’s a must HAHAHA

for reo like i said i’m thinking something where it’s the reader not being good enough for his parents…they requested childhood friends to lovers and angst so maybe something that leans towards peregrine a bit?? not as much but kind of like how reo made reader be his friend but maybe instead of reader resisting it it’s his parents once they discover that she’s a random nobody?? idk this will be workshopped but that’s the general vibe i’m getting i think

BAROUUUU yeah i have zero idea what i’ll do for barou it’s enemies to lovers and relationship of convenience?? for some reason though i just have this sense that there may be aikulations involved HAHAH

love at first sight + misunderstandings + karasu?? i’m getting a very fwtkac vibe from this where maybe he’s like madly in love with reader but he’s a dumbass and thinks he’s mediocre so he accidentally keeps offending her and she thinks he hates her but he’s obviously just a stupid loser simp

sae number 2 is relationship of convenience plus angst i feel like probably smth similar to the instrument perhaps?? like that kind of general set up where sae’s pr team is just tired of dealing with him and his rude ass comments and the messes they keep ending up in because of it so enter reader dating him to save face or smth along those lines

KARAKUNI LOVE TRIANGLEEEE no idea what i’ll do here but it’ll hurt hehe

i’ve already describe the isagi one so we’ll skip that but then we have noel noa and i rlly want a kind of murder mystery vibe to it almost?? like reader getting implicated in some case (maybe as a witness) so she and noa team up and try to find the criminal and there’s a really dry humor mixed with more serious scenes throughout

the person who made the normal + rock request for sae actually gave me an entire prompt for it regarding reader being his tutor in spanish but considering how much sae i have to write and how he’s not one of my favs i don’t mind the specificity or else i wouldn’t have known what to do lowkey LMAOO so that’s where i’m going with that and then rin’s is childhood friends and modern au so. ig just a classic childhood friends moment?? like white butterfly but not as angsty maybe

PLSSS aiku’s always catching strays i love him though…THE RATTATA omg or imagine it’s a scatterbug and that’s how niko eventually ends up with a spewpa which ofc evolves into a vivillon and bonus points if tullia calls aiku later and is like “so what did you do with that scatterbug i sent you 🧐” and aiku’s like “uhhhh my girlfriend’s son captured it by accident” LMAOOO

ISAGI ANON SDLKJGHS i’m crying also omg nooo nagi and reader would just be like “have a nice honeymoon!!” and shove their daughter and charles in there to figure shit out those two are DONE with the adventurous life they just want to stay at home and relax 😭 HAHA omg yuki would be so happy to help karasu too like he thinks this is finally their bonding moment and they’ll actually be friends now but then he makes the mistake of bringing his manectric out to ask for advice and karasu releases a string of expletives so foul yukimiya almost loses his hearing along with his vision

i feel like otoya is just the one that would randomly pass away LKSJFS like that makes no sense but not even in angsty way (this time…cough hollyhock cough) just like if i had to imagine any of the pursuit characters up in the clouds with barou it WOULD be otoya 😩 AGREED aiku is needed to spread his knowledge and wisdom on planet earth it’s not his time yet fr 🙏🏻

THE DUOLINGO RIN I WAS LAUGHINGGG MAKING IT because like he loves owls and i saw someone make a divider set with owls and as a joke they threw the duolingo owl in there and i was about to reblog and be like “somebody write a rin itoshi fic and use the duolingo owl as the divider” and then i was struck by the vision of him AS the duolingo owl and it all spiraled from there 😭

[khoipyan]

Meeting the Leeches.

You're on a beach trip with your friends, Yuu and one other. However, you get separated when exploring a dark cave nearby. That’s when you hear something splash in the cave waters, and it was definitely not from tiny fish.

Gender-neutral reader (They/Them), YUU IS A SEPERATE CHARACTER AND YOU AREN’T THEM!, one of my OCs is used as a placeholder for your friend, yippee! :) Their name is Rhen and I’ll be using They/Them to refer to both Yuu and Rhen. Don’t worry, you still get to focus on you + tweels.

Characters; Tweels (Floyd Leech, Jade Leech)

Notes; If you saw me repost this, no you didn't. /j I accidentally posted it half-written and thought I deleted it, only to find out that I did not delete it. Glad I didn't, however I'm mildly embarrassed.

OGnotes; Hahaha. I had this idea in class, which is the entire reason I decided to write for this. I should start proofreading my work, to be honest… I never do. 😨

SOMETHING TO DO .

“We’re finally here,” Somebody huffed. You looked over to see your two friends. Specifically Yuu was out of breath. Rhen was slowly still slowly catching up in the back, and they showed no sign of rushing their way over to you both.

Yuu wiped their forehead, “It’s such a hot day, can we finally go set up the umbrellas? Ooh, and did any of us bring the cooler?”

“You’re asking that now—?” You cocked your head at Yuu. Yuu only looked away shamefully.

There’s the sound of ice-rattling in a large container, and you turn to see Rhen carrying the cooler. What a lifesaver.

—✦—

The umbrellas were placed so that they blocked the sun if you sat on the foldable chairs, and there was also a basket with snacks beside the area placed neatly on a cloth. Although, where you all set up was pretty inconvenient.

You could only wonder why you were so close to the darn edge of the water, when there was nobody here. The beach was nearly desolated. “Did we really have to set up right next to the water?”

Rhen said nothing per usual, but nodded twice.

Yuu spoke, as if for Rhen, “Of course! You see, me and Rhen were thinking that we could see more fishies while sitting next to the water, y’know?”

“But I never said that…?” Rhen muttered under their breath.

It was pretty calm near the water, but there was a large, strange cave. It wasn’t gigantic, but big enough to be ventured into. It’s giving you the creeps.

Snap snap snap. You turned your head to Yuu, who had been trying to get your attention for the past 10 seconds.

“Hey, you were staring pretty hard at that cave over there. You guys wanna go in?” Yuu sounded really excited, but on the other hand, you were NOT exactly thrilled of adventuring a large cave with no actual resources (other than your phones).

You looked over to Rhen, who said nothing. Their expression, however, was ‘What if there’s something in there that tries to eat all of us?’

Yuu seemed to take note of how they were the only willing one, and slung an arm around Rhen. They averted their gaze to you, smiling. “It’ll be fine! Come on. We’ll all stick together, I promise.”

…

You can only sigh, “Alright, let’s go.”

—✦—

“Guys… There’s a sign that says not to go in there!” Rhen gulped.

They weren’t wrong. There was a sign, basically saying to keep out. Okay, now this feeling inside your stomach wasn’t a good one. “Are you sure about this, Yuu? If there’s a sign, it might be because it's dangerous inside. Also, what if authorities come by?”

“Well, how would they know we went in for a quick minute? And how would they know we were in there?” Yuu put their hands on their hips.

Good point, Yuu. If it wasn’t for the fact that the cave was also extremely dark, then maybe you’d have courage to go.

Yuu shrugged, holding up their phone. “I’ll go in by myself then. See ya on the other side!” And in they went.

“Wa-wait up!” Rhen called out for them, shortly following behind.

There really was no choice for you now, is there? You took a deep breath, preparing for any complications this cave might cause, and promptly walked inside.

SOMETHING IN THE WATERS .

The voices of you and your companions echoed loudly. Too much for your comfort, it almost felt like you all were far away.

It wasn’t honestly that bad, until Yuu’s phone suddenly died.

“Hey, guys? Can somebody turn on their phone light?” Yuu asked.

“Ah, I didn’t bring my phone…” Rhen said, sheepishly.

Well. That wasn’t good.

Rhen’s panic filled their voice, “Ahh, guys… I’m scared and I don’t feel the greatest…”

“Hang in there, Rhennie! You’ve got this, we just got to find our way out.” Yuu’s voice echoed back.

“Yeah, you got this!” You encouraged. But other than the echoes of their voices, you could hear something else. A water stream.

And then you noticed; You’d gotten deep enough to find a stream of water, and it glowed. Odd, but it was beautiful. You were awed by it’s beauty, who knew water could be so calming?

Your calm moments were over in a second, however, when you also paid attention to another detail; Where were Yuu and Rhen?

“Guys—? Guys? Hello?” You called out. There was no response from them, and there were only two noises.

Your voice and the noisy running of water.

Your only choice is to keep walking.

—✦—

You roughly estimated to have been walking for 30 minutes. It could have been much less however, as it’s not easy to pass time when you’re walking in a dark scary cave by yourself. The only thing that comforted you was the noises coming from the water stream.

It was calm, soothing, and something moved in the water. It was the only thing calming your nerv— Wait, what?

You stopped in your tracks and looked at the stream again, swearing you had saw a tail. Much to your surprise, there was nothing when you doubled back to look for any signs of movement. This was your mind playing tricks on you after being separated from Yuu and Rhen, wasn’t it?

You continued to walk, only for your left ankle to be splashed. Wet sock, yikes. ‘I should have worn my sandals’, You silently thought to yourself, thinking about how Yuu had teased you about wearing shoes before you all came to the beach. You looked back at the stream of water, only to find nothing. Again? If you were going insane, this might be it. Walking in soggy shoes is terrible, so walking in a wet sock would have to suffice for now. Taking off your shoe, you readjusted your sock as well, for no particular reason.

This time, you weren’t even given the chance to walk again as you were splashed; You were now soaking wet.

But along with your frustration, came two amused laughs.

“Ahaha! Look at ‘em, Jade! They look like they might just cry.”

Well, that was hard to judge, wasn’t it? Because you were looking at the ground trying not to get water in your eyes.

Another voice intruded, “I do have to say, I’ve never seen a human inside of these caves before. I’m quite curious why they’re here.”

“Well, maybe we can ask them! Hey hey, how come you’re in a dark, SCARY cave, all by yourself, hmm?”

You wiped face with your (already wet) arms and looked at the water stream, this time there were two large people…

Holy shit. Those were not people. They weren’t fish either, and they were not just your imagination.

Long, human—like fish… They weren’t human. You didn’t know how to react other than stepping away from the water stream’s ledge.

“Psst! Come over here! We won’t drag ya under, promise.” One of the creatures said, specifically one with a black hair parting to the left. “This water is too shallow for us to drown ya anyways, only goes up to your waist.”

Was that a threat? Would they have pulled you under if there was a deeper body of water? You got close to them regardless, curious as to who… and what they were.

The other one took note of your brave hesitation, “You really are brave to approach us, despite not knowing what we could do to you. I applaud you.” He said, clasping his hands together and giving you a warm smile. Somehow, you think his mannerisms are false enough.

“What are you? Who are you, and why do you look like that?” You asked, still weary.

“Talking to us like we’re monsters, I’m hurt. My name is Jade, and my brother here is Floyd.” He said, putting a webbed hand over his heart and feigning sadness.

“You can remember us by our hair shape! 'J', for Jade, and 'F' for me!” Floyd shouted at you, waving his hands in the air. His actions splashed water everywhere, but since you were already soaked, you didn’t really mind.

You pause, thinking of what to do next. It was freezing cold being soaked with water while standing around, so you decided to ask for something that would benefit yourself. “Okay. Err, can you help me get out? I got lost.”

“Oh? You got lost?” Jade said. Both of them smiled at you, a mischievous glint in their eyes.

Floyd laughed, “I’m assumin’ they got split from the other two people we just saw, ahaha!”

Wow. So they terrorized Yuu and Rhen as well? Yikes. “Please, it’s so cold and I’m sure you guys would know where the way out is!”

“Maybe we do, perhaps we don’t. What if we don’t show you the way out, then what would be your next coarse of action?”

“Would ya beg us to show you? It’d be REAL funny to see you beg on your knees to two merfolks, wouldn’t it?”

You’ve huffed, “If you won’t help me, then I’ll help myself!” And started walking off.

Unfortunately, they started following you regardless.

—✦—

“Gettin’ tired yet? You’re so small compared to us, I’m gonna call ya “Little Shrimp” and stuff.”

You rolled your eyes, “The only thing I’m getting tired of is you both. Why bother following me?”

“Apologies, but we only natural for us to think you’re quite fascinating. I mean, how are you ever going to get out of this cave without asking us for help?”

You literally just asked them for help 10 minutes ago, but okay.

You paused your walking and looked at the two… What even were they? “What are you, sea snakes or something?”

“Close, we’re moray eels.” Jade’s politeness really makes you want to thrash around.

“Cool. Whatever,” There was a big pause before you bent down near the ledge of the water stream, “Please. What do you want from me? I just want to get out of here, so what is it?”

“What is what?” Floyd asked, grinning. He got closer to you as he rest his arms on the ledge that divided the water stream and the cave floor.

You frown, “You know what I mean!”

He flicked your forehead, “Hahaha, you’re so angry and for what? We didn’t do anything to you, that was your fault for ignoring the sign.”

Ah. The sign. No wonder why it was posted there, it was easy to get lost. Let’s listen to signs next time, shall we?

“Tell ya what, Shrimpy, we’ll show you the way, but you have to come back to the beach tomorrow to play with us!”

You were taken aback by their demands, “What? That’s it? Seriously?”

Jade chimed in, “Yes. We’ve been looking for something to do. What better way to spend than to observe a human? We promise we’ll be gentle, and we’ll try not to bite.”

“Fine. Just get me out of here.”

SOMETHING THAT REUNITES .

The first thing you were greeted with when you got out of the cave was Rhen coming over to you and hugging you tightly. Weird, considering they never liked physical affection much.

“Wah! Are you alright? You were in there for an hour!” Yuu shouted, a worried expression plastered on their face.

You returned Rhen’s hug, patting them on the back, “I’m fine guys, don’t worry!”

Were you really in there for that long?

Yuu sighed, “You were right, I’m really sorry for making you guys go in there… without a light source! I should have made sure my phone was fully charged!”

“That’s what you were worried about?!” Rhen scolded, playfully slapping Yuu’s arm over and over.

You thought you would never see the light of day again, nor your friends. You’re grateful that you were able to find your way out this time. However, “Guys?”

Rhen and Yuu stopped their fighting, replying with “What?” In sync.

There was a long pause before you facepalmed, “We’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

“What?!”

( Due to be edited at anytime )

( Due to be edited at anytime )

[sanjithesimp]

Sanji x fem reader

Hello I have one simple soft request 👉👈 I am new to OP but that has not stopped me from getting a crush on Sanji. 👉👈 Could you do something with a shy reader (f) who gets a bit jealous because she sees him obsessing over ladies but doesn't know how to confess that she likes him 🥺 Maybe a soft moment like she finally gives him a hug and holds on too long? 👉👈 Thank you and also Merry Christmas 💖

A/n: Dear anon, thank you so much for requesting!! Hope you like it as much as I did writing it, and thank you so much I wish you a late Merry Christmas and a happy new year <3333 and I'm also very sorry that I'm posting it like this but I accidentally clicked the wrong button and got your ask deleted :(((

The crew was excited to get to a new island, it had been a week or so since you saw land and craved to explore a new place, maybe go shopping or just rest from the sea for a bit. Luffy was jumping around, announcing that there was an island ahead.

Everyone quickly went out to the deck and saw the beautiful island, it was really small but it had a town, but this time instead of going in pairs you were all going to go together as you didn’t have much time and it was also to make sure Luffy wouldn’t get in trouble or get lost.

You were looking forward to go in pairs so you would go with Sanji, he was always so sweet and treated you like a princess. He made you blush constantly, and after all he was a good friend. And for some reason you started feeling like you wanted to be more than friends with him, but you could never tell him. It would be something crazy to do. Never in the world. Mostly because you were very quiet and kept to yourself many things, not because you didn’t like the crew but because you were quite shy.

That never bothered anyone in the crew, they just understood it and accepted you the way you were without questioning it. Plus you weren’t the only quiet one, Zoro was also like that, he kept most of the things to himself for other reasons which you didn’t know.

After everyone was off the boat, you walked closer to Sanji, he greeted you with a smile.

“Y/n-swan! Are you excited about exploring this new island? I will buy anything you want...”He said getting all happy and jumping around you.

“I really am excited, I actually was hoping-” You started saying but he got distracted by some girls that passed by, he immediately started drooling and walked towards them. You were about to tell him you wanted to spend the whole day next to him and tell him how you felt and he completely ignored you. You felt sad and decided it was for the best, and walked away.

The rest of the trip you decided to stay close to Zoro, although he was very serious and didn’t talk much you really liked his company. As you walked through the streets you could see Sanji, still looking and flirting with all the girls that he saw. You pretended that you didn’t care and that it didn’t affect you at all.

As you continued walking through the island, everybody started getting thirsty and hungry so you stopped at a small restaurant that was said to be the best around town.

Luffy immediately ordered meat, any kind of meat. You couldn’t wait for the food to get there, it all smelled delicious.

The first thing they brought was some sake, Zoro offered you some and you took it without even thinking about it twice even though you never really drank any alcohol. Maybe it was all because you wanted to ignore the fact that Sanji was flirting with a waitress and he couldn’t stop complementing her, treating her like a princess.

“Oi, take it easy on the sake” Zoro said as you chugged the sake as you watched Sanji talking and laughing with that waitress, you were jealous and pissed at him.

“I can handle it, don’t worry” you said and Zoro shrugged.

Then the food came, and everything looked delicious. You didn’t even know what to eat first so you took a piece of everything before your captain ate it all. And as the day continued you continued drinking until you felt the room was spinning. You had never drank that much in your whole life, not even Zoro could keep up with you.

You definitely regretted it. Suddenly Sanji sat next to you.

“Hello” You said and waved at him, looking completely ridiculous.

“Are you drunk?” Sanji asked you, and immediately stood up and hit Zoro’s head, they both started fighting as usual.

“Did you get here drunk Marimo?!?!?” Sanji asked Zoro while still hitting him.

“No, of course not you idiot cook, she drank it all by herself” Zoro answered as he started fighting back.

You decided to go outside for some fresh air, which when you got outside realized was a very bad idea. It almost felt 1000 times worse than how you felt inside but you didn’t want to go back to the restaurant, you were so embarrased for getting drunk for such a dumb reason.

You sat and looked up at the sky, the moon and the stars were specially glowy and beautiful that night. And you wondered if it was the alcohol speaking, and then you heard a voice.

“Isn’t beautiful?” Sanji was standing next to you.

“It is a beautiful night” You said and he handed you a glass with some weird liquid.

“Drink up, don’t ask what it is, just know that this will make you feel better” Sanji said and without hesitation you drank it, it tasted horrible but if it was going to make you feel less drunk then it was okay.

You still felt a bit dizzy but you knew it wasn’t going to be effective immediately.

“Thank you Sanji” You said as you left the glass on the floor.

“Your welcome, I hope it makes you feel better my princess” Your cheeks were burning, and as if the alcohol had taken over you, you got close to him and kissed him. Tasting the sweetness of the dessert that you had earlier, his lips were soft. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to him. You placed your hands on his chest.

You wanted to stay like that forever.

After some time you stopped kissing and he looked at you.He was smiling and before he could say anything you decided to confess.

“I- I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a long time, I really like you” Sanji started blushing, he cupped your cheeks.

“I really like you too Y/n, I liked you since the first time I saw you and never stopped...I just thought you didn’t feel the same” Sanji said and kissed you again.

[lilsuzn]

MLQC Victor - NSFW abc headcanons (REMASTERED)

Fandom: Mr. Love: Queen’s Choice

Warnings: Explit sexual content (GN READER)

it's what I posted a while ago, but better - I changed some things, I deleted some thing and wrote new. I think it's much better now

A = Aftercare (What they are after sex?)

Victor is a man that has his values straight

You are the most important part of his life (even if he sometimes struggles to shop it) and he will do anything for you… and only for you

Other people don’t matter. He only takes what he wants and leaves.

But you - his sweetest, dearest, little love… can ask anything and everything (well, almost - see N).

You crave massages? He will buy the most luxurious oils on the market, might even take a course to perfect his skills to give you more pleasure

Want to take a bath? He will have a bathtub installed if he doesn’t have one already

Pillowtalk, kissing, snuggling, another round? No need to say it twice. He leaves to please you

When it comes to him, he likes to pull you close and tell you all the things he has no courage to say at any other time

Leave no space for misunderstanding in the department of his unconditional, boundless, eternal love and devotion for you

Tell you just how happy he is to have you and how everything is worthless in comparison to you

After he makes sure you’ve been pleasured throughly already, he will want to share a shower

And make no mistake - he will wash you. You can wash him too, if you want, but taking care of that pretty body of yours is his responsibility

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part is his waist

It wasn’t easy to get that V shaped body and he is extremely proud of this accomplishment…

Especially when he sees your hungry gaze roaming his torso up and down

And you… He couldn’t possibly choose one part

Beautiful legs, rounded butt, soft abdomen and that gorgeous, gorgeous smile

Yeah…

No…

That would be your thighs when it comes to the sexual aspect

You have such a delicate skin there. So suckable. Kissable. More plush than any pillow could ever be

He feels so secure and at ease when they squeeze around his head as you ride his face.

The sound of his hips slapping against them - heavenly

Not much can make him calmer than your lovely, plump thighs

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum)

It should come (hihihi) as no surprise that he loves to spill inside

It’s so intimate… Bonding…

Doesn’t really like to cum onto you for reasons he himself doesn’t really understand

It just feels… somewhat degrading? And he doesn’t like it that way?

Then again cuming into your mouth is a strong YES. Maybe it’s because of how enthusiastically you take him in

How you collect all the spill from your chin and lick it off your fingers like it was some kind of delicious delicacy

That sight makes him hard all over again…

D = Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory - a dirty secret of theirs)

He has a folder of your photos on his computer

Some of them were taken with consent… Some without you realising…

Because you were in his bed sleeping in your naked glory… And he could only stop himself the first, like 20 (?) times

He sorts them by aesthetic and cuteness/sexiness

Jacks off to them when you’re not around

Most of them are very artistic. He tries his best to make them as good as the ones he was using before you… (see J)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He slept with a few girls in college, but he saw it only as ‘taking care of his sexual needs’ - no real feelings included

He had one dedicated booty call - a girl who fell in love with him despite him saying that he only only sees her for sex

That period really allowed him to explore his sexuality

So he knows what he likes and what to do, so his partner likes it too

F = Favorite position (This goes without saying)

Everything when he takes you from the back

He’s rather keen on yanking hair, slaping ass…

But when it comes to the person he loves - you, he likes to face each other during sex

He wants to kiss your face, neck and chest. Nuzzle his face into your abdomen while he’s going down from his height

Your legs thrown over his shoulders so he can slap his hips against your soft thighs

Or legs pressed to your sides, hands gripping your thighs

And he can’t even attempt to lie he doesn’t absolutely love when you sit on his lap… or get on top in general

Or when your thighs grip his head when you 69 on the couch while ‘watching’ a movie. Your lips sloppy around him as his tongue pleasures you with most precision and dedication

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

No goofy.

If they start to joke around, they get spanked. HARD.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Victor is a passionate swimmer, so most of his body is hairless

But he doesn’t shave his pubes. Finds it weird to be completely bare down there and the first time he had sex with a completly hairless girl, he was a bit taken aback with her baby like smoothness.

Only trims them with a ‘pubes razor’ which is his old razor that he doesn’t use for face anymore, because he got a better one from his aunt for Christmas

Carpet matches the drapes

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

No goofy.

Only love and eternal devotion.

He will caress and leave kisses all over your body. Keep you close in the warmest and most loving embrace

No dummies or idiots in bed. Only treasures and loves

Almost like he’s trying to make it up to you for his tendency to be so aloof on a daily basis

The sweet talk doesn’t stop there, but I already said everything about it in A

J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

This man didn’t have time to waste on women when he was building his empire, so he naturally spend quite a lot of his life masturbating instead of having sex

He doesn’t really enjoy porn, though. It’s too cartoonish for him. He much prefers to look through lingerie commercials or nude photoshoots - the more artistic the better

After he reunites with you, he starts to feel all that pent up sex tension and starts to jack off almost every day

Thinking about you. Looking at photos of you. Carving you with every small bit of his being

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

First of all - seeing his partner being pleasured. Either by him or by a vibrating toy plugged into them or pressed against their sensitive spots. He doesn’t even pump himself watching. He’s way too consumed with the enticing sights

Double penetration. His huge dick in one whole, dildo in another… Just thinking about it gets him going

He can’t deny himself at least some manhandling (if you consent - obv). Although he doesn’t go full on dom every time (at least with you) he seems to be unable to deny himself some hair pulling and choking... Although he almost does it lovingly? Spanking and whipping will surely also happen from time to time. Can get very rough when jealous

Also a slight daddy kink. When he hears it slip past your lips in the form of a joke - he feels some strange tingling in his groin and it’s not a venereal disease

If you sit on his lap, make a cute, helpless expression and ask daddy to play with you… It just turns him into a primal animal with no self restraint

That he kinda always seems to be

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Where nobody can hear them

Or see them

Anywhere with a stable surface really, but he needs to know you will have full privacy

Would never agree for public sex

All the sweet sounds and expressions he makes you do are his and only his to experience

M = Motivation (What turns them on/gets them going)

Stress, irritation, anger, hurt… Sex is a great way for him to gat this weight of his chest since he doesn’t really like to think those negative feeligs through

Or any feelings, if we’re at it

A nice butt is also a motivation, especially when it’s attached to a fine pair of legs

But both of these factors aren’t a guarantee of a turn on and even if they have that impact on him, he still will most likely not act on it

What he really struggles to control is a real attraction that reaches what’s beyond physical

A beautiful, hardworking and open-minded person is something Victor finds hard to ignore

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do/turn offs)

No sharing

No blood play

No permanent marking

Nothing too forcefull or aggressive

No sex before assigning boundaries and exchanging preferences

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

As I already said In B, Victor is an oral lover

More into giving than receiving, but would never push his lover away

(you can always 69, right?)

The man is humming in pleasure as his tongue slides along your sex

Is more than willing to go for hours if only you let him

The more you moan the more intense his movements become

His main goal is to please

The secondary one is to be the best at yet another thing

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He has two base modes

One: I love you, my sweet creature - all about measured, unhurried but hard thrust. True, pure love-making

Two: Little girls don’t get a say in how daddy fucks them - you’re tearing up, sobbing, drooling and he gets even more turned on by it. Fucks harder and faster then you both believed possible. Years of engaging in sports come to show themselves

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He will participate when the occasion occurs

Might even initiate an occasion

But it’s not really sex for him. It’s a quickie

And when compared to the real love-making with you… it’s just meh

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

When it comes to taking risks, I believe I already made it clear that he isn’t too into that

If someone walked in you, it would be very upsetting for him

If you got accidentally hurt would break his heart

But experiment he would happily

New toys, new positions, new kinks… He will try anything once

Well, almost anything (see N)

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

We all have our better and worst days, and this man has a whole company to run. It’s only natural for him to be tired

So usually he won’t last for more than one round. Maybe 3 on weekends

But will last a while if he sets a slower pace (see P)

On vacations however, after a few days of rest his stamina will increase dramatically

Have you seen this guy’s torso? Exactly

He has some stamina to spare

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Not against, although he prefers to experiment with positions that to experiment with toys

Will probably never propose any, except when he knows his partner is into such things

If you do - Victor will do his research and find something exciting for you to enjoy

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He really is not patient enough for that

Doesn’t have time for it either

Why would he even want to? They’re unsatisfied = he’s unsatisfied (as I mentioned in K)

He sees no appeal in it. When he wants to fuck, he wants to fuck. No reason to beat around the bush

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Victor can be a bit more talkative than usual during the foreplay

Throughs some praise (a lot of it)

Tell you about his feelings (but not too much at that point)

About things that made him jealous…

A quiet Fuck may leave his lips when he enters you and when he’s about to come

In the middle of those two - he’s rather silent

Not much of a moaner

He grunts and growls a lot though. Can get a little bit loud from time

W = Wild card (A random headcanon for the character)

It was a sunny, autumn day. You were walking down the street. You’re fingers entwined. The sunlight was gracing your beautiful features so gorgeously… and he had already been yearning for so long

When you’ve finally reached the Souvenir’s door, the man is all worked up

Not that you could tell from his steely expression

But you sure got suspicious when he got all touchy feely out of the sudden

Not that you would ever mind - obviously

Feather light kisses on the nape of your neck and shoulders. Fingertips caressed your waist to then slide down to your hips. Then he reached for the hem of your dress…

“I love you…” he whispered in your ear

Goosebumps momentarily appeared on your skin as all the intense feelings he had been making you experience from the very day you saw him for the first time in his office travel down your spine in a form of a intense shiver

You wanted him. So bad. For so long.

And there was no hiding his feelings for you at that moment as you turned your head to face him

Soon after stomach was pressed against the kitchen counter. Your naked butt was all out on display for Victor to squeeze and spank as you squirmed and moaned under his touch

Victor didn’t take any unnecessary time to move his long, broad fingers down, to stroke your sensitive slit

He praised you for being so wet, so flushed, so eager for him

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

“I love you, too” you whispered to his ear as his arms pressed you as close to his body as possible, while you were still going back from your highs

And after that, from his lips slipped the words of the most sincere adoration… and true love

Words you would never expect to leave his beautiful, soft mouth

Matches the rest of the man

Long and thick

No curvature. Perfectly straight

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Rather average

Ha has periods when he doesn’t even think about it

And he has ones when he can’t stop thinking about it

However he doesn’t go too much either way

Z = Zzz… (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Remember what I said in S? Applies here as well

He’s a hardworking man

Simplu needs to work hard to keep his business growing and to keep his lover pleased

Then he just needs to get some rest. Don’t try to change his mind because he will

If he’s well rested however, he won’t let you sleep

Like, not a chance. You need to come at least five times. He doesn’t make the rules, sorry

[jikookuntold]

I Can’t Believe We Are Still Talking About This!

Disclaimer: The post you are going to read here, is my personal opinions, plus some evidence. A part of the incidents I mention in this post, is my own observation and the rest came from some trustable sources but yet I don’t claim to be 100% true because first, the sources can be wrong, second, the human mind is tricky and a long time has passed so I can’t claim everything I remember is true. Some of the incidents could get fact-checked, but some couldn’t because the receipts are gone.

First, I had no intention to write about this controversial subject because many people don’t like to bring this up, and I was with them, but it seems people have many questions about it, and they don’t know the details of the incidents. So, I concluded that maybe it’s not bad if we open up a little bit and discuss this subject from different points of view with more details.

But again, I have to clarify this post is not factual, it’s just the things I remember about the subject in a ranting way. This incident had and still has so many unclear aspects, and everything we say or claim is just a theory. I’m not intended to shade or hate anyone, therefore I’m not going to mention any full names here.

TW: Rumor, Suicide, Scandal, Conspiracy Theory

 The Break

You all might know about the break the members had in summer 2019. When their Japan tour ended, and they did some shooting and interviews (like Summer Package), the LDF concert on August 11th was their last schedule and based on BH statement, they were free for 30 to 35 days.

At this time, the members posted updates about being on vacation, but there was not much coming from JK and JM, except JK posting on weverse about staying awake and eating ramen and JM thanking him for eating ramen because of him (it was interesting that JM answered JK’s post about ramen at the same week we had the run episode moment where JK told JM “This is my heart” while putting ramen in his plate). After that, JM posted the videos of Run bottle cap challenge on August 26th.

Anyways, it was pretty clear that JM and JK were together on their days off for at least two weeks since JK mentioned in Bon Voyage 4 (their first schedule after the break) that he didn’t meet any of the members except JM and JH in his days off and since JH was the resident of the same complex, this kinda approved the theory of living with JM. JM also approved this theory, but we will go on that later.

The Rumors

In late August (27th or later) JM’s photos in Paris leaked, and JK was seen in Seoul eating churros, and a photo of his knuckle tattoos started to spread. Everyone was confused, and it was too soon to believe anything. After JM coming back from Paris for JK’s birthday, and leaving for Hawaii the next morning (as he explained in his 12th October Vlive, that year) things started to get weird. I know I didn’t bring up the Paris incidents, and I don’t want to, because it has nothing to do with the subject.

I still haven’t mentioned the subject directly, but I think most of you have guessed it right. In early September 2019, the rumors of JK going to a tattoo shop in Seoul started to spread. At first, the majority of the fandom didn’t take it seriously since the tattoo shop denied the rumors of JK being there, and even the photo of someone backhugging a short-haired girl claiming to be JK got mostly ignored because the photo was low quality and the man in it didn’t look like him that much. This was the time we heard the news about JK going to Geoje Island for vacation, alone, after visiting his family in Busan.

The real deal started when he appeared at the airport on September 16th (the day they were leaving for filming Bon Voyage4 in New Zealand) when we saw his knuckle tattoos, and the rumors turned out to be true. At first, we were excited about him getting tattoos without even knowing if they are permanent or not. But on the same day, the storm came. A photo of JK (this one was clearly him) sitting with that short-haired girl, (LM) eating lunch broke the internet.

The photo was taken from an angle to make it look like they were together alone, but at least two other people (later we found out they were more) were already there, and it was nothing like the date the person behind the camera was trying to make it look. The hugging photo which was taken from the CCTV of a karaoke room resurfaced along with the restaurant photo, and at this time, almost everyone in the fandom started to believe that they are dating.

The Statements

The mess on social media was getting bigger, and everyone was waiting for an official statement from both sides. BH released the statement a few hours later, denying the rumors and no further explanation. Almost one day passed, and there was nothing from LM, not even a single word. Finally, she posted a statement on her Instagram account (which gained a crazy amount of followers, and she didn’t even go on private the whole time).

The statement was extremely shady and been deleted a few hours later. LM claimed that she wasn’t ignoring the situation, and she was afraid to say anything because she knew we won’t believe her. “I am not dating JK” she used this sentence twice in her statement, and at the end, she said “his “J M” tattoos are not our initials!” and made the situation way worse. But the funny thing is, this wasn’t even the shadiest thing she did.

As I said, she got lots of followers (nearly 100k) and interactions on her account and started to delete the negative comments as she should, but she liked multiple comments congratulating her, saying she and JK look good together and things like that. I heard she even liked a fan-art post, but it didn’t end here. When the member came back from New Zealand she posted a selfie with the caption “I have missed you”. At this point, it was clear that she was enjoying the situation and acting shady to make it worse and fuel the rumors and stay on top of the news. But this wasn’t limited to herself because her colleagues at the tattoo shop weren’t any better.

In those days, one of the close friends of LM at the tattoo shop told an ARMY that LM has a boyfriend and there is nothing other than friendship between her and JK. And guess what? The Tattoo shop manager fired him the next day. What was the reason? Were those rumors a booster for their business, and they didn’t want them to die down? The number of followers and attention they gained at that time can approve my point. They were getting the best free promotion, any business could ever have.

Don’t Forget Me!

A few days later, when the public, started to forget the rumors, someone from the tattoo shop (I don’t remember if it was LM herself or her friend) talked to the media about the harassment they were getting from the ARMY to play the victim role. This again fueled everything and made us think over the situation. Was it all a frame for JK? The evidence suggests that it could.

Let’s go back a few days in the timeline of the events. Why JK chose that tattoo shop? Because his 97liner friends recommended him to go there (apparently this line of friends, have matching tattoos either) LM herself is a 97liner, and she is friends with plenty of idols, male and female, so they sounded pretty trustworthy. At the tattoo shop, they (LM and her tattoo shop colleagues) recommended JK to spend his days off at a guesthouse in Geoje Island, and based on LM’s Instagram posts, they were there days before JK, waiting for him, to make it look like they run into him accidentally? I don’t know, but this is a stalker's behavior

After having lunch with LM and her friends at the restaurant (where Sasaeng were there, ready to take photos), they went to a karaoke room and JK, who was pretty drunk (based on what the karaoke manager said later) backhugged LM. But the Sasaengs couldn’t be there to take photos, so they (allegedly) bribed the karaoke employee to show them the CCTV footage and took a low-quality picture of it.

The biggest question is, if the Sasaengs weren’t there, how did they know there is something worthy in the CCTV to check? The answer is they weren’t the main culprit, and karaoke or tattoo shop employees or both were cooperating with them. I mean karaoke employees definitely cooperated with Sasaengs, but the tattoo shop benefited the most. So why not? Anyways, that photo and that moment was the most “intimate” thing they could capture to use against JK.

JK went on that trip with his manager (The guesthouse manager gave out this information later, the part that was lacking in BH statement which could close the speculations way easier and earlier) and stayed at that guesthouse for two days to rest, but everything went wrong from there. This incident has three sides, LM and tattoo shop, the Sasaengs, who were following JK as their full-time job, and the media/industry which was trying to ruin JK’s image. I’m going to talk about all these three but let’s continue with the first one, LM and the tattoo shop.

Almost one month after the incident, LM’s friend interviewed with Korean media and claimed that ARMYs keep harassing her to the point that she wants to commit suicide. This was another attempt to bring everything back on top, but this time, it was disgusting because she did this interview right after one of the famous faces of Kpop committed suicide (October 14th, 2019). She used the situation and the public’s emotions to play the victim role on a higher level. Before this, many believed that she was a victim of some crazy Sasaengs, and she had nothing to do with the incident (I’m clearly talking about the people who didn’t think the rumors are true) but after that, it was clear that she is an attention seeker.

But I think she wasn’t just an attention seeker. She benefitted a lot from the situation. Her business blew up, she became one of the most famous non-celebrities in Korea (if not in the world), and she was literally shipping with one of the most popular men on the planet, who doesn’t like that? Anyways, LM had several friends, foreign older friends who were interacting with I-ARMYs for some unknown reasons, and one of them exposed something very interesting. She said she feels sorry for LM because she thought she had a chance with JK and that chance is long gone. Besides, people saw some conversations between LM and her friends on her Instagram comments about finding an idol boyfriend for her. These conversations happened before the incidents but it’s interesting since LM has several idol friends.

LM had another comeback to the media at the end of October and the next and the last update about the situation, happened in early December when BH stated that they (BH and LM!) are suing karaoke for leaking the photo. But after almost two years, we don’t know how this ended up. The last and probably the worst thing happened in the final episode of Bon Voyage when JK unnecessarily apologized for his behavior. I know JK himself, wanted to do this apology but he didn’t have done anything wrong and didn’t owe any apology to ARMY or anyone else, even if the rumors were true.

A New Ship on the Shore

After that, LM did nothing shady except posting photos of JK’s arm tattoos or someone with similar tattoos in December 2020 explaining their meanings, which was a weird action. After the rumors, JK didn’t visit that tattoo shop ever, and now, an artist who works with BH does his tattoos (the same artist who has done JM’s tattoos). LM announced on April 2021, that she has a boyfriend and some of JK/LM shippers, quitted their beloved ship after that. But not all of them.

We believed that the rumors weren’t true from the day JK and BH denied them, but many people didn’t. They were strongly believing that BH is hiding the truth because it’s Kpop and in this industry, idols are not allowed to date openly, so they had no choice but to deny any dating rumors. But this wasn’t their only reason for their denial. The main reason was the way JK was misunderstood and misrepresented by this fandom (I have a post about it, you can check it here).

At this point, there are people out there, shipping JK and LM. They bring several “proofs” for them being real such as:

1. Having similar tattoos: LM had designed and done JK’s tattoos, so it’s pretty normal for them to have the same style, especially the hand tattoos since he hasn’t changed or added anything on that part. But his arm tattoos have changed a lot, and you can’t see a similarity in them. Besides, knuckle tattoos are very common among tattoo lovers.

2. Having eyebrow piercing: This is another common trend. JK loves piercings and tattoos, and it means nothing, literally.

3. Similar drawings: This one is a little bit tricky and it needs a back story and a conspiracy theory. On 13th May 2020, BH released a Bangtan bomb from MAMA 2019 backstage, where JK drew a sketch of the moon and stars on a whiteboard. On the same day, people started to make a fuss, because LM had a design on her Instagram, very similar to JK’s improvised sketch. The date of her post was 11th December 2019, but the day JK drew that sketch, was December 4th (MAMA ceremony), and this means LM posted her design one week later. So who copied who? Does JK saw that design somewhere in that tattoo shop and had it in his mind, and drew it subconsciously? I don’t think so. Because JK improvised it in front of the camera, and it was originally his idea. Do I think BH has some insiders who took the photo of that sketch and showed it to LM, and she took the idea and made it hers? This is exactly what I think because I trust JK, not LM, nor BH. And the timing of the posts and Bangtan bomb is on my side. Preach!

That’s it. These are the only proofs people bring to say something is going on between them, and the funny thing is, this hasn’t ended even after April when LM announced that she is dating (apparently she had broken up with the last boyfriend right after the rumors started, definitely not sus, lol) The only reason people made a huge deal of those two photos, was one word: Heteronormativity. If LM were a man, none of this would have ever happened. But since this fandom is obsessed with the idea of het-JK, they bought these rumors eagerly. Back to the subject, as I said earlier, the other sides benefitted from this situation. I mean Sasaengs and the media/companies who had a part in the incidents.

Sasaengs always follow their targets and collect photos and videos of them, but they barely share anything publicly because they are criminals, and if they get busted they will be punished by the law. They have their isolated communities and share their information inside those communities. Of course, there are many accounts on social media that claim to be Sasaengs and gain lots of followers, but most of them are fake, and the real ones don’t share information for free, they sell them for high prices. So, there are two possibilities, in this case, someone bought JK’s photos from Sasaengs and published them, or Sasaengs did it themselves because someone asked/ordered them. I can’t see any other possibilities. Sasaengs wouldn’t gain anything from publishing these photos, but other people would, and they are the ones who made this happen.

Who were they? LM herself and tattoo shop? The fansite who wanted to destroy JK’s career? Or BH, who wanted to punish JK for his boldness about getting tattoos and make him more obedient? Or the media and rival companies, who wanted a scandal for their enemy? Or the people who wanted to revive the idea of het-JK? All of these are plausible and I can’t prove or disprove anything, but you can read more about this in the post I linked before.

Did This Affect Them?

Here comes the most interesting part; how did this affect Jikook? Did it affect them at all? Let’s review the timeline of the events again, from this point of view. As I mentioned earlier, we believe Jikook were together until 27th August and then JM went to Paris without any plans and came back for JK’s birthday. On the selfie, he posted that night he had written: “I’m glad to see you after not seeing you for a few days” which confirms that they were together before JM’s unplanned trip. At this point, JK had started getting tattoos and had most parts of his knuckle tattoos done.

When JM left Seoul for Hawaii the next day, JK went to Geoje, and the incidents happened, but nothing was public yet. Then he got arm tattoos and added some new parts to his hand tattoos including J which makes an obvious JM on his ring finger (The part LM claimed that is “not” their initials lol). JK’s completed hand tattoos were not exposed until September 16th when they were at the airport to leave for New Zealand. It was the day all the theories and rumors started. But in Jikook’s point of view, it happened on the second day of their trip.

Now we can start to analyze their moments on Bon Voyage 4. Of course, this series doesn’t show everything, but it gives us some clues about the dynamic of their relationship on those days. The first day of the trip when they were at the airport and Thailand (?) was pretty normal, but after that, at some moments I felt a strange atmosphere between them which I decided to not read too much on. But I found out I wasn’t wrong when in the last episode, JK talked about the awkwardness he felt about the issue with the members.

Jikook had many cute and domestic moments in the first two episodes but the grand gesture happened on the third one when JK climbed a hill without telling anyone, to bring a chunk of snow for JM as a gift, and we all know how much JM loves snow. This was an undeniable romantic act, but do I think this had anything to do with the situation? I believe Jikook was unbothered by those rumors because they completely trust each other, but the image you make for the others is different from the things you know and believe. Maybe this was a grand gesture not just for JM, but for us either.

After coming back to Seoul, there was no news from them for more than two weeks, and then they left Korea for Riyadh. The remarkable moment in the Riyadh concert was related to JM’s birthday. The members had planned a surprise for JM on the stage (The concert was on October 11th one day before his official birthday in Korea) and when it happened, JM said that he was happy because he saw JK happy and JK played a big role in that surprise. Honestly, you have to be deep in love to be happy just because your significant other is happy, even if it’s your own birthday. Let’s not forget the vlive JM did the next morning, and some pretty obvious moments happened that I can’t discuss here, but I bet you already know what I’m talking about. And also JM exposed the things he did for JK’s birthday that year.

A few hours later, on 18:22 (1+8+2+2=13) on local time and 00:22 on Korean time (only 22 minutes after JM’s official birthday in Korea started), JK tweeted one of the most amazing birthday tweets of all time which is comparable to a love letter. I’m sure you know everything about these tweets, so I’m not going too deep on this, I’m only saying that this tweet also was a grand gesture. And let me make another conspiracy theory here. After the rumors started, every time we had a big Jikook moment, something was coming from LM the next day. For example, when JK made this historic tweet, the next day LM's friend was interviewed about committing suicide. Or when SYS Seoul concerts happened (one of the biggest Jikook feasts of all time) and LM herself was at the VIP seats with her friends, the next day she did another comeback to the media. These can be just coincidences, but… never mind.

I Never Thought I Would Fall for a Man

Let’s not forget about the most obvious statements JK made on his first public appearance after the rumors. On JH’s vlive on 24th September, JK said: “I never thought I would fall for a man”. He said these words about JH dancing at CNS music video, and it clearly had nothing to do with Jikook, but it had a deep meaning. We know JK is not a shallow person, and lately, he stated that he thinks a lot before doing anything. So this didn't come out of nowhere, he didn't spit this out without thinking, in THAT situation. You never say such a thing when the internet is exploding with your dating rumors with a girl, do you?

His words can translate to “Do you ever consider the possibility of me not being straight?” This is what I read from his words and his facial expression. Maybe you think I say this because I’m a shipper, and I have this shipping goggle that makes me see everyone gay and debunk any girlfriend rumors. Some people even ask childish questions like “if they are dating why they didn’t travel together?” There are 100 explanations for that, and any couple who have been together for more than two years can answer you. When you date someone, you don’t stick together 24/7. Everyone in a healthy relationship has individuality, and sometimes they want to spend time with friends or alone, especially when they already had a world tour together lol.

Anyways, maybe I have a different point of view as a shipper, but this is not the problem. I never have a problem with my ship not being real (which they have shown enough to know they are). In fact, I will be delighted if any of them announce their relationship freely and publicly, but they haven’t done it yet. JK denied the rumors and gave us lots of hints about the truth, and I’m not delulu for believing him. But if you think he has to be het for backhugging a girl or having an eyebrow piercing, you are the one who is delusional because you are living in a heteronormative world where boys and girls can’t be friends and everyone is straight unless they come out in public.

I really can’t believe this post turning to be this long, and I thank you for reading it all. You might ask why I cared enough to write +4000 words about some stupid rumors that happened two years ago. This is the main question. This had to be ended in September 2019, but many people didn’t want it to end, because they loved it, they enjoyed it, they gained from it, so they protracted it as much as they could, and heteronormative people supported it blindly because of their homophobia or Y/N fantasies or whatever reason they had. I can’t believe we are still talking about this!

[flooffybits]

Here For You

Idol: Kim Jungeun, Kim Jiwoo (Loona)

Warning: mentions of physical and verbal abuse, homophobia

Author's note: I accidentally posted this and, in my panic, deleted it without copying the ask, so I apologize.

☕buy me a coffee☕

"Kim Lip, over there!" Looking over to where her girlfriend was pointing, the said girl squinted her eyes as she tried to look for what the latter had seen.

Jiwoo had spotted you just as they passed the window, seeing as you picked a table that was noticeable from outside. When they stepped inside the little restaurant they invited you to, she began to look in the direction her girlfriend was pointing at.

But before she could find you, herself, Jiwoo was already bouncing over to where you were sitting. And due to her calling out your name, you were quick to see the pair and flashed them a smile, giggling when you stood to greet Jiwoo with a hug.

“Y/n! I missed you!” She squeals in your ear, making you laugh when you pat her back and then pull away. “I missed you, too. Sorry I couldn’t meet you sooner.” Jungeun stopped next to Jiwoo and smiled at you when she went for a hug as well. “It’s nothing to apologize for.” She assures you. “We’ve barely even got free time, so having to delay a hangout is understandable.” She adds and you all take a seat.

“Oh, yeah. How are things with you and the girls? I saw you performed at the Soribada.” You comment. “Congratulations, by the way.”

"It was nice. A bit hectic since the audience was very limited and there were a few that snuck in to watch." Jungeun explained with a slight laugh. "There were some fansites of ours that had to be kicked out." Jiwoo pouted and you smiled affectionately at how much she really loved her fans.

"Well, when it comes to meeting their favorites, it's really no surprise that they go through such great lengths to see you." Your words made both their hearts flutter and they had to restrain themselves from saying anything because they were afraid of making things weird between you.

You just made it so hard when you spoke so passionately. Everyone could see the spark in your eyes whenever you spoke about the things you loved or things that peeked your interest. It was just so endearing and it was one of the reasons people were so attracted to you. Your friendly and kind nature drew people to you and made you such a loveable person.

"I think that applies to everyone, don't you think?" Jiwoo's smile is much softer as she looks at you, unlike her usual excited smile when she's jumping around and throwing hearts at people.

You hum softly, resting your chin against your hand and cocking your head to the side. "That's true. But sometimes the simple things are worth more than the grand gestures." You tell them and Jungeun nods her head in agreement. "I think that's what people forget these days. Wanting to do all of these things is nice, but if it's going to put them in danger, I'd rather they watch us from the safety of their own homes." She says with a bit of a grimace.

"What about you, two? What have you been up to?" The pair look to each other, smiling and then turning back to you. “There’s nothing much, but we did go on a date after the award show. Since things have been a bit hectic, we thought a little breather was the best option.” Junguen explained while she took the other girl’s hand in her own and gave it a squeeze.

You giggle at your friends while nodding your head. “If you guys wanted alone time, you could have said so, silly. We could have rescheduled our hangout, I know you have a lot on your plate.” You tell them before Jiwoo pouts at you. “But we wanted to see you! Lippie and I are with each other all the time but it’s so rare to get an off day to see you.” She explains while she subconsciously reached for your hand from across the table.

There’s something else shining in her eyes that you don’t quite understand, but she smiles at you in the same manner she usually does before pulling away. “Trust us, we’re more than happy to spend time with you.”

“And speaking of you, how are things with Hansuk?” Jungeun asked curiously while you showed her a grin and clapped your hands. “Oh! We’ve been doing great. He’s been really sweet, waking me up every time because he made breakfast, saying he wants to at least spend the morning with me before he goes to work.” You explain, pausing when a waiter came by to take your orders.

You had quickly given them what you recall to be the girls’ favorites, looking to them briefly for confirmation since you were all so caught up in conversation to check at the menu, and Jungeun had nodded whilst Jiwoo looked absolutely love struck when you turned back to the waiter to tell him your own choice before he went off.

“You guys look like you’re doing really well.” Jungeun said softly while you blinked in confusion. “What?” Jiwoo giggled at your expression before clarifying. “We were talking about you and your boyfriend, remember? Jeez, Y/n, you’re so forgetful sometimes.” She jokes while you pout. “Hey, I remembered your favorites, didn’t I?”

And that was a fact that made butterflies erupt in their stomachs.

"Well, I guess that's true." Jiwoo giggles while resting her chin against her hand. "I have to make sure my girls are well. Of course, I'd remember what you like, not just your food." Junguen reached over to lightly hit your shoulder despite the blush that was creeping up her neck when she laughed. “Why are you so cheesy?” She asked to mask her embarrassment and you burst out laughing too, the sound ringing beautifully in the pair’s ears.

It never failed to bring a smile on their faces to see you so happy.

"Okay, okay. We get it, you love us." Jiwoo giggled at you and you smiled brightly while nodding your head in approval. "Obviously, I do."

But despite that, they wished that you meant it more than what you actually did.

Because even though they were already dating each other, they would be lying if they said that they didn't feel for you what they felt with each other. Being friends for years, the affections only increased and the fondness developed into something that was far beyond friendship.

The moment they had agreed to become idols was also the moment they had decided to confess to each other how they felt, and it was fine for a while, until they had seen you for your graduation.

Seeing you again made all the memories you three had together come crashing down and they're reminded that their feelings were not exclusively for each other.

After graduation, they saw you quite often. It may not have been daily, but they saw you every week when they had the time. They were lucky enough when it was twice a week. But when you inform them that you started dating one of your other friends from high school, they were a bit disheartened to see you because of how often you spoke about the boy.

“Hey?” You called out, a confused look on your face though a smile still stayed. “Is there something on my face? You’re both staring.” You say with an embarrassed chuckle and covering your face with your hands. “Hey, no! There’s nothing on your face.” Jiwoo giggled despite her embarrassment of getting caught staring and Jungeun merely reached forward to pry your hands from your face. “Stop it, you look perfect… ly fine. So don’t worry, okay?” She had to quickly add the latter part of her statement just to cover up what she wanted to say and then flashed an awkward smile.

You ended up blinking at them and then your eyes fell to your joined hands. You had to slowly pull away with a crooked grin and then nodding your head, unaware of the hurt that crossed the latter’s face.

Luckily, your food arrived in time to push away the awkward air and you hummed in delight. “Oh, right. We’ll be sort of busy with preparing for the comeback next week, so I’m not sure we can see you.” Jiwoo explained apologetically before she saw the saddened look in your eyes.

Even when you had shown them a reassuring smile, it was clear that not being able to see either of them was sad news for you. And upon seeing that, they were quick to try and cheer you up.

“It’s not going to be that long. There are going to be days we’ll drop by and hangout.” Jungeun quickly states. “Yeah, and while we’re gone, you and Hansuk are able to see each other often, right?”

You pause for a while before Jiwoo notices the forced smile on your face when you nod your head.

“Yeah, we will.”

..

Right after practice, the girls were scattered around the practice room with the majority of them laying on the floor just so they could rest their legs while others were getting their things ready and still filled with energy.

“Kim Lip, get your girlfriend. I’m too tired for this.” Sooyoung groaned as she draped a face towel over her face just to prove her point and the hyper girl next to her laughed while shaking her arm in an attempt to piss her off. “Come on! We’re going home, anyway.” She claims, making the latter grunt and her girlfriend to laugh.

Jungeun got up from her place and walked over to extract her girlfriend from her best friend and handed her a water bottle. “Come on. I think you’ll want to do something else other than annoy Yves.” She stated, catching the other’s attention. “What?”

Showing her phone, your conversation was pulled up and Jiwoo scanned the most recent ones before her whole face lit up in delight. “Are we going to see her?” She squeals at the nod Jungeun gives her before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and then jumping over to her things and preparing while Sooyoung peeked from under the towel.

“Oh, thank god.” She muttered while sitting up. “I love Chuu and everything, but I don’t think I love her enough to get myself deaf.” She stated jokingly and Jungeun chuckled when she helped the latter to her feet. “It’s part of her charm.”

“You’re both loud. I can only pray for Y/n since she’s the quiet one out of you three.” That earned her a smack on the arm. “Yah!” But she only raised her arms in defense. “Thus proving my point.” She laughed and Jungeun barraged her arm with punches, though not hard enough to hurt her friend.

Off to the side, Jiwoo happily hoisted her bag on her shoulder. “Y/n, Y/n, I wonder if she ate already.” She glanced at the time and gasped. “We should get some snacks, just in case.” From beside her, Yerim grinned at the familiar name. “You’re going to visit unnie?” She questioned and the older girl nodded enthusiastically. “Kim Lip asked her if she was home, so we’re going to surprise her.”

“Can you give this to unnie? Last time, she gave us food so I wanted to give her something in return.” Yeojin produced a bead ring from her bag and Jiwoo smiled while taking the small gift. “I’m sure she’ll love it.” She beams before looking to find her girlfriend wrestling with her leader.

Laughing, she walked over, grabbing Jungeun’s bag in the process before pulling her off Sooyoung. “Come on! I want to see Y/n already!” She announces, and Jungeun huffs before taking her bag and nodding her head. “Let me just tell Haseul unnie and then we can go.”

It wasn’t really that much of an issue for them to visit since you would only stay indoors, plus your place wasn’t that far away from the dorms. So after informing Haseul and saying goodbye to everyone, the pair set off to see you, stopping by a cafe to buy some food like Jiwoo said earlier.

By the time they arrived at your front door, Jungeun was holding the paper bags filled with snacks and then Jiwoo was fishing for the key you had given them in the event that they wanted to drop by, much like today.

There was a thud from behind the door and the pair looked at each other just as Jiwoo pushed it open. Peeking inside, they called out. “Y/n? You alright?” Jiwoo asked as she looked around, kicking her shoes off, followed by the latter.

Of course, they weren’t too sure what they would be walking into when they arrived at your place, but they were very sure seeing your boyfriend towering over you, arm raised in what looked like he was ready to hit your cowering form, was not one of them.

Dropping the bags, Jungeun sprinted over to shove the male off of you whilst Jiwoo hurried to your side, pulling you away from your stunned boyfriend and furious best friend. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jungeun yelled angrily as Jiwoo looked you over, her heart sinking when she saw the small bruises on your jaw and neck.

By the looks of it, there was more that trailed down under your shirt, and it made her heart hurt to see you looking so damaged like this. “What did he do?” She asked softly and you curled up in her arms while Jungeun refused to let the male near you.

“I can have you sued for trespassing, you know that?” Your boyfriend yelled but if his intentions were to scare your friends off, then that was not working at all with the way Jungeun’s glare intensified. “This isn’t your place, and we have keys, dumbass.”

Glancing over her shoulder, the girl felt her anger flare up when she saw Jiwoo cradling you as you quietly sobbed into her shoulder. Her eyes were back on the male before she’s lifting her phone up. “I’m giving you one chance. Get out, now, or you’re going to end up in court.” And unlike Hansuk’s pitiful threat, it was clear that she was not bluffing as she had a number already on display.

“S-Screw this.” Clicking his tongue, Hansuk left almost immediately like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs, knowing that he was no match for an idol with a company to back them up. And though you were just friends with them, it was very clear that they would help you put him in jail, and he could not have that.

Right after he left, Jungeun spun around and dropped to her knees so she could get a good look at you while Jiwoo did her best to calm you down. Her fingers continued with brushing your hair while she kept your head against her shoulder, whispering sweet nothings to soothe your nerves.

Jungeun cupped your cheek and gently, her thumb grazed over one of the newer looking bruises. She held her breath as she looked to see if she was hurting you but relaxed when you looked at her. Your teary eyes made her heart ache and Jiwoo let out a sigh.

“Can you get some ice?” She asked quietly, making the blonde nod before she’s off to the kitchen to grab an ice pack, passing the bathroom so she could grab the first aid kit as well just in case there were more than just bruises on you.

Meanwhile, Jiwoo, who was usually the bright and happy girl you knew, was frowning when she cupped your face to get another look at you. “How long has he been doing this?” She questions and you struggle on deciding whether or not it was a good idea to lie to her or not.

But this was Jiwoo and Jungeun. There was no way you could lie to them. At least not again.

“Two months ago?” You mutter, not entirely sure when the dynamic of your relationship had changed. “He came home from work. He was with his friends without telling me and I was just worried but he got upset and then…” Your lower lip trembled at the memory and thankfully, Jiwoo didn’t push any further as she just tightened her arms around you and nodded her head.

For two months, you were battling this on your own? Why didn’t you tell either her or Jungeun?

Knowing that you were along in this caused her hold on you to tighten before she pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “You’re going to be fine.” She whispered before Jungeun joined you, handing the ice pack to her girlfriend and then looking at you with her lips pressed together.

“Can I look?” She asked while gesturing to your shirt and Jiwoo pressed the ice to your jaw, causing you to flinch. You bite your lip before looking down because of the question and Jungeun reaches forward to touch your face, stopping you as she runs her thumb over your bottom lip while staring into your eyes. “Don’t do that.” She tells you. “I don’t want you to get even more hurt than you already are.”

The action and the way she speaks so softly makes your heart flutter and you do your best to hide the way she’s affecting you, but Jiwoo makes it worse when she presses her cheek to your head and her other hand moves from your hair to the small of your back. “We need to check if you have any other injuries.” She murmurs and you make a small sound before reluctantly pulling away to lift your shirt.

“Promise me you won’t freak out.” The sentence alone makes them want to protest, but the pleading look in your eyes causes their mouths to shut and they nod before you finally lift your shirt to reveal the various bruises left on your skin.

And even when the obvious hand prints stared right back at them, Jiwoo was able to keep herself from saying anything as she just held you closer when her girlfriend began to apply some ointment on the bruises, double checking for any scratches.

“Why did he do this?” Jiwoo couldn’t help but ask you and you swallowed thickly while playing with your fingers. “He was… he was starting to suspect you two.” You mumbled and they could feel the nervousness radiating off you when you avoided looking at either of them. “He was telling me how I shouldn’t hang around you guys so much, and that it didn’t even matter since you had your idol careers.”

Remembering his words caused tears to spring into your eyes again. Every ounce of anger and hatred that laced his voice whenever he talked about the two, etched in your mind. He hated it that you defended them and that you would not hesitate to pick them over him, but he always managed to string you back into his clutches.

“One day, he asked me, you’re not like that, are you?” You let out a shuddering breath. “You’re not one of those. He talked about you like… like you weren’t a person, and I just-”

A sob forced itself past your lips and Jungeun put everything back in the kit before she took your hands in her own while Jiwoo continued to rub your back.

“Y/n, listen to me. Whatever he said, it isn’t true.” Jiwoo says firmly. “Just because he can’t accept us does not make you invalid. You don’t need him.” Jungeun adds when she reaches to wipe away your tears. “You can be who you are and love whoever you want. All that matters is you’re happy and safe.”

You let their words sink in and suck in a deep breath, your heart hammering against your chest. "What if… what if the person I liked was already with someone else? And the only reason I was with Hansuk to get over them?"

Jungeun isn't sure how to feel with the revelation. She's upset, yes, because if you didn't really love Hansuk, why did you force yourself into a relationship with him for this long? Why didn't you just tell them the truth? Was there something she was missing?

Jiwoo, on the other hand, was quick to speak as she brushed your hair from your face after setting the ice pack aside. "It's okay. Sometimes we make these decisions that we think will help us. You were hurting so it was understandable that you needed something to distract you from the pain.” She murmured softly while kissing your temple. Even if she was curious as to what it was you weren’t telling them, she needed to make sure that you were okay first before anything else.

Your eyes shift from Jungeun to Jiwoo before they fall down to your own hands, seeing as Jungeun kept her own atop of them, squeezing when she could see that you were thinking about something, afraid to tell them what exactly it was.

“Y/n, it’s okay. Whatever it is you want to say, we’ll listen. We aren’t going to hurt you.” She assured and you nod your head, knowing full well that it was the truth. It was just your own fear and insecurity that was pulling you back.

“I like you.” With a quick breath, you shake your head. “Both of you. And I know it’s weird and crazy, but I just didn’t know what to do. You’re my best friends but you’re together and idols, on top of that so I know that neither of you would see me the same way.” Due to your rambling, you failed to see the way the two look at each other and only looked up when Jungeun joined in to wrap her arms around you.

“Oh, Y/n.” You felt so small being in their arms, but it did give you the sense of security that you needed after Hansuk’s violent episode earlier. “You have no idea how much we wanted to hear you say that.” Jungeun chuckled when she cupped your face, causing your mouth to snap shut.

They what?

The way your eyes widened and how your mouth opened and closed to try and say something made the two of them giggle. Jiwoo had to close your mouth for you before poking your nose. “Believe it or not, Kim Lip and I were a little butt hurt when you told us you were dating Hansuk.” She tells you before earning a smack from her girlfriend. “Why would you say that?”

“Sorry!”

Sighing, Jungeun then looked at you with a small smile. “Look, we aren’t trying to push anything but we wanted you to know that Chuu and I have been talking about you for a while now. We weren’t sure how you would react, so we never brought it up.” She explained. “But then Hansuk came along and we really thought you liked him, so we backed off.” Jiwoo played with the hem of your shirt from behind. “Had we known, we would have said something sooner and we could have kept you from getting hurt.”

The reminder of you being injured made the pair frown but you were quick to shake your head and offered them a smile, taking both of their hands in your own and squeezing them. “It’s okay, he’s gone.”

“And we aren’t going anywhere.”

[lavenderek]

i have a thought to express, feel free to scroll past.

i’m gonna discuss rape and sexual abuse in this post. it’s also long because i don’t really have a conclusion, it’s just some thoughts. 

so i was looking into that reality show that facilitated shane dawson’s horrible movie “not cool” and i stumbled across a reddit thread posted by someone who was a fan of his as a preteen. the OP alleged that shane’s content contributed to them developing some serious issues including body dysmorphia and the normalization of sexual behavior involving children. 

some of the comments were in support and agreement, but a large amount of them were like, “where were your parents? it’s not shane’s job to police what you see online. it’s not his fault you were too young for his content.” 

now, shane was well aware from the jump that his fans were mostly kids and teens - he talked about it multiple times - but that’s not what this post is about. this post is about that particular argument, which does not sit well with me.

it reminded me of a couple years ago when i made a very critical post about c*ptive prince. 

pause: i want to make it crystal clear that i am not drawing a comparison between people who like cp and shane dawson. i’m not mad anymore, so i am not making this post making a value judgment on cp or fans of it, positive or negative. 

specifically, i was really bothered by the way cp content was posted and shared with no mention of or reference to the actual material. people were calling it a queer romance. it was a little-known series by a little-known author, so there were no synopses anywhere online, only the summary you’d see on the back of the book. so people would seek out cp thinking it was a romance and be blindsided by the fact that, spoilers, the story is set in a fantasy world where child rape is a major tenet of society. the scenes are explicit, detailed, and many. it’s not a thing that happens once or twice and is a major plot point, it’s a thing that happens multiple times in every chapter and is just kind of a thing that’s going on. if you’ve ever read twilight, i would compare the presence of rape in cp to the presence of rain in twilight.

like, that’s how often it happened, that’s how it was treated. sometimes with indifference, sometimes with a negative opinion, sometimes it caused problems, bella talks about it every two pages. it is a very rapey series. 

and people like, did not want to discuss this. they were like, “the characters decide the rape is bad in the end. and that’s not even what the story is about, it just happens in the story. i don’t know what to tell you.” like... people were not receptive to any kind of conversation about this topic lmfao, it was very touchy. they wanted to acknowledge that rape itself is bad, and then they wanted the subject closed. 

now, why is this a problem? i read the books. there were parts i enjoyed, and there were parts i didn’t enjoy. i’m not gonna reread them, but i’m still game to talk about it. ultimately i wanted to be able to talk about books with a friend of mine, and while i was like, “yikes, this is a lot of rape, was not expecting the volume of rape,” it didn’t occur to me this would be a pervasive issue at all until a different friend of mine happened upon it. this other friend was a rape survivor, and i happened to know she would find this content very upsetting. when she said she was thinking of buying the book, i was like, “halt, you know what happens in it, right?” 

nope! she didn’t. she saw cute fanart and a ficlet on her dash, somebody told her it was a queer romance. nowhere was there any indicator in summaries online or the posts she was seeing that the book would describe a person being drugged and sexually abused. she was pretty relieved that i’d warned her and shaken that that’s what happens in the books lmao. she would never have guessed. the cp fandom was made up of people who loved the main pairing, and they’d talk about them being in love and draw them being in love, and it felt like everybody was just acting like the rape wasn’t even present in the books lmao. 

pause: i didn’t go in the tags. this is not representative of the fandom as a whole. this is just my and my friend’s experience of it as passive internetgoers.

people got uncomfortable and a little defensive if i brought it up. they’d agree to tag for cp, but if you don’t know what cp is about, that isn’t helpful information. like that post that’s like, “waterboarding at guantanamo bay sounds like a lot of fun if you don’t know what either of those things are” lmao. if you don’t know what cp is about, tagging for it just tells you what it’s called. and it very clearly ruined everyone’s fun if i talked about this. 

so that’s what i was mad about, i was mad that i felt as though there was no recourse here, and i was mad because i felt like the cp fandom was the emperor’s new clothes. nobody was acting like it even existed and everybody got uncomfortable if i brought it up, like, i legitimately wondered at some point if i had somehow accidentally read a kinky rewrite of it, that the real version did not have rape in it and nobody knew what i was talking about. i felt like i was going crazy and i got shitty in the middle of the night one time, and wrote that post. 

i ultimately deleted it, so i do not remember how it was worded; but i do recall that it was a venting post, it was not intended to reach a wider audience. i was not trying to convince anyone in that moment, i was just talking shit. so i can bet that it probably came across as very judgmental and unkind. 

i made a bunch of people very angry with that post. somebody got thousands of notes by reblogging with an impassioned smackdown saying basically what those redditors were saying about shane - it’s not their job to police what people see online. it’s not their fault you were unprepared for cp. 

i do not think this is a nuanced enough argument because i do not think it acknowledges that not all content is created equal. 

i even got an anon ask in good faith saying, well, a huge trigger for me is body horror, and people will draw or reblog stuff with body horror in it, and i can’t hold that against them. 

and like, no, you can’t, but body horror is not the same as rape or child sexual abuse. body horror isn’t the same as sex trafficking. right? like those things aren’t comparable in the way that i think the anon was wanting them to be. they were saying that both of these are common triggers that people would want tagged and be unable to move past in media, you know? and i get that, i got what they were saying. 

kind of like that cartoonist who wrote a spooky horror comic a while ago and somebody sent them an ask being like, “that was really scary, you usually post fun comics, this was damaging, unfollowed :/” like obviously a stranger’s fear of spooky things is not something he should be expected to take on on his own blog lmao. i am deeply afraid of ghosts, by the way. 

but according to rainn.org, 1 in 5 women experience rape in their lifetime. 1 in 5 women are not frightened by literal ghosts in their lifetime. 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys aren’t body horrored. body horror and ghosts aren’t used on a global scale as tools to control and abuse people and they do not have the same connotations of shame, degradation, and control. the things are not the same. 

i don’t have an easy answer. i can’t wave my magic wand and make people not enjoy the rape erotica, nor was that my goal in the first place. i wasn’t clutching my pearls like, “how dare you! do not draw this art! think of the children!” and i don’t know how else i would have solved the problem, aside from having a weird disclaimer under your art of two dudes cuddling that says “warning, these dudes are from a book that’s got several thousand words of explicit rape in it, and i know that, you’re not the only one seeing that,” like that’s a lot and i get it. 

i don’t have an easy answer because there isn’t one. i felt like “well, that’s not my problem” was an easy answer. 

as i get older, the more responsibility i have as an adult online to maintain boundaries between me and minors, for example. i am not responsible for their internet experience and they can’t get mad at me for cussing or writing about gay werewolves on my blog, but i do have to be mindful of that context if i’m interacting with someone online. that’s where the complexity comes in. you can’t wash your hands of the context of the things you say and do online. 

just how to solve these problems, i did not know then and i do not know now. i guess we take it on a case by case basis. 

if you’re curious about shane dawson and his horrible movie, by the way, this guy did a few funny videos about the horrible movie and this guy did a not funny but comprehensive breakdown of shane and his career. 

and i tried to tint my eyebrows for the first time the other day, i have red hair and my eyebrows are darker than my hair for some reason, so i tried to use an eyebrow tint to lift my brows just like, a shade, so be closer to my hair? but in doing this i discovered that my eyebrows are a mixture of red and brown? 

so the red hairs lifted to a sunny orange, and the brown hairs stayed brown. so my eyebrows are fully like, calico right now. boom, orange juice, that’s life

[lev-iano]

Searching him in the crowd

Fandom: Haikyuu

Prompt: The Man of the Crowd: following, curiosity, fascination.

Characters/Pairing: Sakusa Kiyoomi/Miya Atsumu

Summary: Sakusa didn't know when this fascination for Atsumu started.

Notes:  Hi, hi! Some days ago (like, a lot, I think? I lost the tracking), I asked for requests, basing on my favourite prompts list, on Twitter and my dear Cris requested this one with SakuAtsu~! This is for ya, Cris, love ya! This fanfic was posted on AO3! Have a nice reading!

As much as Sakusa denied to others – and to himself – he was fascinated by Atsumu.

It was strange, not even Sakusa understood where this curiosity about Atsumu came from, someone who was used to living with cockroaches. It was... Bizarre, to say the least.

He didn't know when his eyes started to follow Atsumu, to observe everything he did. Even mundane things, like drinking water, seemed to come out of some painting displayed in important and famous museums.

He also didn't know when he had put the notifications on, so that Sakusa would always be informed when Atsumu posted something on his social networks. From a certain point, Sakusa had started to write down all the posts in a notebook, hidden on his desk, although he had never put likes on them – Atsumu didn’t need to know that he had seen his posts.

Nor did he know why he was sitting next to the cafe window at half past four on a Sunday, his day off without training, waiting for Atsumu to pass through the crowd of people to go to the gym.

Sakusa didn't know when he had memorized Atsumu's routine, maybe he had spent too much time looking at his social media.

It was strange.

Sakusa looked at his watch, it was four forty-seven and Atsumu hadn’t yet passed. Weird, the gym was open that day, Sakusa had checked the website before leaving the house.

He took out his cell phone and looked at Atsumu's posts; there was nothing recent, nothing to indicate that Atsumu had decided to change his routine.

Maybe something–

"Omi-Omi!"

Sakusa felt his blood freeze when he heard Atsumu's voice behind him. Slowly, he looked back, paler than usual, as if he had seen a ghost.

In his mind, Sakusa could only ask himself what Atsumu was doing there. He felt like a child whose mother discovered that he was doing something that he shouldn't have done.

"W… What are you doing here?" He managed to question, with a hint of disgust in his voice (not that it was on purpose, it was automatic).

"Oh, I usually see ya here, around this time, when I go to the gym," Atsumu replied, smiling.

Fuck, Sakusa thought, imagining that he had been discovered.

"The coffee here is good, isn't it?" Atsumu commented, sitting across from Sakusa. He merely shook his head, not knowing what to say; he felt that, no matter what he said, he would eventually be discovered – that is, if he hadn’t yet been discovered.

Atsumu looked at the menu on the table. Sakusa knew he liked to eat at the same time as his coffee – or so he posted on Instagram and Twitter. In fact, Sakusa discovered that place thanks to the publications of the other.

"Have ya ever tasted the cakes?" Atsumu asked, receiving a negative grunt in response. He laughed quietly, and Sakusa had to endure the temptation to record the other's laughter. "They are very good, ya gotta taste them."

"I will think about your case."

Perhaps it was his imagination, but it seemed that Atsumu had been happy with his rude response.

It was impossible for Sakusa to understand what was going on in Atsumu's head. He knew that Atsumu wanted to get close to him, to become his friend – which made no sense. For what? Become better teammates? Sakusa thought they were a good match, with some teasing there and there. They didn't have to be friends to score points against their opponents...

But to be honest, being friends wouldn’t be enough for Sakusa. He longed for Atsumu's touch, for his caresses. He wanted something unshakable, the accidental touches that happened from time to time wouldn’t be enough.

He wanted more.

Much more than seeing the other's vulpine smile, much more than hearing his lepid voice, much more than that.

Sakusa looked at Atsumu, who was taking a picture of the cake and coffee he had ordered. Quickly, the light on Sakusa's cell phone started to flash, a notification signal. Without the other being aware, he checked and felt his cheeks flushed when he saw that Atsumu had taken a photo of him.

"Oh really?" Sakusa asked. As Atsumu had mentioned him in the publication, he wasn’t concerned with the possibility of his obsession being discovered.

"Yeah," he replied, smiling, and Sakusa, without thinking twice, took a picture of him too. "Omi-Omi–"

"What's it?" Sakusa allowed himself to smile, perhaps with an air of arrogance. "We are even."

No, they weren't that even, since Sakusa kept all of Atsumu's pictures on his computer, but he wouldn't tell him about it. Never ever. Atsumu would certainly hate him.

"I didn't know ya wanted to have a picture of me on your phone," Atsumu joked. Oh, if he only knew...

"Is there a problem with that?"

Atsumu choked on his coffee when he heard that answer; Sakusa didn’t know if the red that formed on the other's face was from shame or shortness of air.

"Ya only know how to surprise me," he laughed again and Sakusa wondered if he was doing it on purpose, trying to captivate him even more.

Which was a scary thing to think; be even more captivated than he already was? Was that still possible?

"I don't know how you are surprised," Sakusa replied, trying to hide his fascination about the other. "I don't have anything surprising."

"Oh dont’cha?"

In a daring moment, Atsumu cut a piece of his cake and brought the fork to Sakusa's face, who opened his eyes wide.

“Say, ‘aaah~ ’” he asked, with his vulpine smile spreading across his face. He knew that Sakusa couldn’t use the excuse that Atsumu had already eaten with that fork, since he had not yet done so. A perfect plan - or not, Sakusa was still looking suspiciously at the piece of cake. "Come on, Omi-Omi.~ I guarantee ya it’s good!"

When Atsumu was about to give up, Sakusa finally gave in and ate the piece. Atsumu did not know how to react, especially after the other had licked his own lips – Atsumu swallowed, embarrassment taking over his cheeks and heart. His mind was blank, with internal screams that chased away any other thoughts that tried to approach.

"Are you quiet now?" Sakusa asked, unaware of the shouting going on in Atsumu's head.

"Yer really a box full of surprises..."

The murmur was lost in the air, without reaching the recipient. Atsumu finally started to eat his cake and, perhaps because of the burning sensation inside him, he barely tasted the sweet flavor of the cream.

Meanwhile, Sakusa watched the other's movements, containing the temptation to touch Atsumu's hands. Certainly, a setter's hands must be treated with devotion.

Certainly, it might be easy to make it his. Make him fall into his spider web and manipulate him to stay with him, unable to leave his side.

Unable to live without him.

Perhaps, if he let his temptation loose, let his hand meet Atsumu's, in a show of affection, obsessive in secret, and pull him to the side of sin, his sin...

Perhaps, thus, Atsumu would become his, forever.

But Sakusa was afraid of what he was able to do to have him. His obsessive love was disgusting, grotesque... It was a poison that could make Atsumu hate him forever.

He was terrified of this poisonous idea. Even if he controlled his obsession, it was impossible to hide it forever. Atsumu would discover it sooner or later.

Even if he stopped his obsessive habits, deleted all the folders with pictures of Atsumu that he had on his computer, he was already tainted with sin. Dirty.

Not even the best disinfectants would be able to clean him.

Even so... He continued to be seduced by this idea, of having Atsumu all to himself.

If the opportunity arose, Sakusa felt that he would grab it, without thinking twice, blinded by his tainted obsession.

Atsumu didn't even imagine he was playing with the fire, just about to get burned.

But Sakusa wasn’t going to stop him from getting burned.

"Omi-Omi.~"

"Hm?"

"Wanna meet here again?"

"You ask as if we agreed to meet here today."

Atsumu laughed, asking Sakusa to not to be like that. He merely put his mask back on, to hide the smile on his face.

“Oh! Are ya embarrassed?” Atsumu provoked.

"No."

Soon, Sakusa thought at the same time that the other one was looking at his agenda, trying to find the perfect day for them to meet, Atsumu will be in my arms, unable to escape from me.

[sunflowereviews]

WARNING: KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN! (Things to know before getting into KHR!) (A pinned post)

I’ve suddenly remembered why I made this blog in the first place (◣∀◢)ψ

(TL;DR at the end) 

TO WARN YOU ALL ABOUT KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN. 

If you’re looking to get into it, I want to tell you a few things. 

It was originally meant to be a gag manga, but its popularity was in decline so they turned it into a shounen manga.

I’m saying this because if you’ve searched up the main character, Tsunayoshi Sawada, you’ve seen this

But when you actually got into the series, you saw this: 

That’s the beginning, the original gag part of the manga where Tsuna is incredibly annoying and made everyone want to throw bricks at him. 

I believe that in the anime, the gag goes on for about twenty episodes. In the manga, it goes on for sixty-two chapters. 

I’m saying this because the original gag part is really annoying, boring, and slow. It’s not funny and it was a pain for me to go through when I started reading it. Now that you know when the serious shounen stuff starts, you can skip the original gag and get straight to the good stuff. 

The only issue you’ll have with skipping it is you won’t know anything about the characters and their abilities. I don’t know anyone who skipped it so I can’t say if you’ll be able to figure it out quickly or if it’ll take some time.

IF you do skip it, DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, look at ANYTHING on the Katekyo Hitman Reborn wiki pages. You WILL get spoiled. Instead, I’ll give you a summary of each character from the wiki pages. 

TSUNAYOSHI SAWADA - The main character

Tsuna is called “No Good Tsuna” by his classmates because of his poor grades, bad luck, wimpy attitude, and lack of athleticism. He easily admits these things about himself, lacking self-confidence and always doubting himself and quitting easily. 

Tsuna is also the tenth successor to the Vongola, a powerful and influential family in the mafia. His ability is Dying Will Mode and can only be activated by the Dying Will Bullet. He is trained to become the tenth boss by the best hitman in the Vongola family, Reborn.

Dying Will Mode: His body’s limiters are removed and he becomes stronger. This happens because when he is shot by the Dying Will Bullet, he is put in a life-or-death situation and he must fulfill his dying will. 

Tsunayoshi Sawada attends Namimori Middle School.

REBORN - Main

Reborn is the best hitman in the mafia. He helps Tsuna train to become the tenth boss of the Vongola. He is confident and unpredictable. He enjoys teasing his students and pulling pranks on them. Readers will find that he also enjoys cosplaying as he is often seen with different outfits.

HAYATO GOKUDERA - Main

Hayato is the right-hand man of Tsuna and he takes his role very seriously. He portrays himself as a delinquent but contrary to his image, he actually does very well in school. He has a short temper and is very irritable towards everyone except Reborn and Tsuna.

He uses dynamites and traps as his weapons and fights in enclosed spaces and at mid-range. He is also a very intelligent fighter.

Hayato Gokudera attends Namimori Middle School.

TAKESHI YAMAMOTO - Main

Usually called “Yamamoto,” he is friendly and naive, thinking that being part of the Vongola is simply a game that they are playing for fun. He is willing to make sacrifices for things that are important to him. He loves baseball and is just about as dumb as Tsuna. 

Reborn gives him a bat that is actually a sword as a weapon.

Takeshi Yamamoto attends Namimori Middle School.

LAMBO - Main

Lambo is a five-year-old hitman who came to Japan to kill Reborn. He is a whiny and spoiled brat who has to be babysat by Tsuna’s friends and family. He is confident in himself and his abilities but cries over little things. 

Whenever he is in trouble, he will use the 10-Year Bazooka, which is a bazooka that brings the version of himself from ten years in the future to the present and the five year old Lambo will disappear for five minutes. After five minutes, the future Lambo will return to the future and the five year old Lambo will return to the present. 

KYOUYA HIBARI - Main 

Kyouya Hibari is the leader of the Namimori Middle Disciplinary Committee, which is actually a group of delinquents. Kyouya enforces discipline in the school with his own methods, using his authority to assault people who get on his nerves.

Kyouya is cold and scary, having no care for the well-being of others. He will do whatever it takes to get what he wants. He hates crowds and prefers to be alone, often hanging out alone at the school roof.

He has an extreme loyalty to his school, punishing anyone who breaks the rules, even if they don’t attend Namimori. He has the school’s anthem set as his ringtone. 

He wields tonfas as his weapons. He has full confidence in his fighting ability and dives straight into fights without thinking.  He is the strongest at Namimori. 

Kyouya Hibari attends Namimori Middle School.

RYOUHEI SASAGAWA - Main

Ryouhei loves boxing and lives life to the extreme. He is the captain of the boxing club and has a great passion for it. Ryouhei has a tendency to rush into fights without doing a fully analysis due to his enthusiasm. He has a short memory so he often forgets important details. He is always looking to fight new opponents and learn to improve himself. 

He is loyal to his friends, as he will protect his friends without thinking twice about the danger he is putting himself in. He has a soft spot for women and children.

Ryouhei utilizes boxing to fight.

Ryouhei Sasagawa attends Namimori Middle School.

FUUTA DE LA STELLA - Supporting 

Fuuta has the ability to determine rankings of people in any kind of category. He has a wide range of knowledge which makes him invaluable to the mafia. He becomes friends with Tsuna.

DINO CAVALLONE - Supporting 

Dino is the leader of the Cavallone family which are allied with the Vongola. He has great leadership and combat skills.

Reborn trained him so he could become the boss of the Cavallone. Dino is devoted to his family (mafia family) but it backfires as he can no longer fight without the members of the family watching him. 

He uses a bullwhip and his pet turtle, Enzio as his weapons. 

DOCTOR SHAMAL - Supporting 

Doctor Shamal is a skilled doctor. He is a womanizer and hits on every woman he sees. Due to his obsession with women, he refuses to treat men with injuries and will only treat women. Occasionally, he treats men out of sympathy. He has 666 disease but none of them have killed him because the diseases negate each other. 

He is called “Trident Shamal” because he is an incredibly skilled assassin. He uses Trident Mosquitoes as his weapon. He can inflict illnesses or cancel illnesses with the mosquitoes. 

BIANCHI - Supporting 

Bianchi is a freelance assassin from Italy and the older half-sister of Hayato Gokudera. She is passionate when it comes to love, to the point where she can become violent. Aside from that, she is generally a kind person. 

Her ability is Poison Cooking. Anything that she cooks or touches will be poisoned and uses this to incapacitate her opponents. When she snaps her fingers, the poisoned food will explode. Tsuna tried to avoid eating her food because he is the only one who knows it is poisoned. 

Bianchi developed this ability when she was a teen. She would cook food for Hayato but the food was so bad that it would give him horrible stomach pains or make him vomit. Eventually, it became Poison Cooking. Hayato can no longer look at Bianchi without having severe stomach pain, vomiting, or passing out because when he looks at her, he remembers to horrible food that she forced him to eat. 

KYOKO SASAGAWA - Supporting 

Kyoko is the younger sister of Ryouhei Sasagawa and the love interest of Tsuna. She is care free and doesn’t question the odd things that occur around her as she is also somewhat of an air-head. She is a kind and caring girl and rarely gets angry. 

Like Yamamoto, she thinks that being part of the Vongola is a game that they are playing. 

Kyoko attends Namimori Middle School.

HARU MIURA - Supporting 

Haru is an upbeat, enthusiastic, and care free girl. Although she has a crush of Tsuna, she is not the love interest. Unlike Kyoko and Yamamoto, she knows that the Vongola are real and aims to become the wife of the future boss, Tsuna. 

I-PIN - Supporting

I-Pin is an assassin from Hong Kong who came to Japan to assassinate someone. She is energetic and friendly with everyone but will often get into fights with Lambo. She is also infatuated with Kyoya Hibari because he resembles her master. 

Gyoza-Kempo and Pinzu-Timed Super Explosion are her abilties. Gyoza-Kempo is an attack that combines her martial arts with the strong scent of garlic from gyoza dymplings. This attack contains the essence of five-million gyoza which is enough to kill a human. 

Pinzu-Timed Super Explosion is an ability where, when activated, she becomes a human bomb. A count down begins and the process of the count down can be seen on her forehead. 

Credit to MyAnimeList.net and the KHR fandom wiki for the pictures and information.

TLDR: If you’re watching the anime, skip the first twenty episodes if you don’t like bad gag comedy. If you’re reading the manga, skip the first sixty-two chapters. If you want to educate yourself about the characters, you can read the character summaries I’ve made above. 

You guys have no idea how much time I spent on this. At one point, I accidentally deleted everything and had to start again D:

Thanks for reading!!!

-Taiwan

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 3

Next!

Again, live blogging and posting my reactions all in one post to avoid spamming.

This post got accidentally deleted yesterday so I had to write or all again (twice!)

Oh, starting with a Klaus and Ben 1960 flashback! Ah, Klaus... You have no shame. Let my baby eat though!

Lol "Chanel". Boy knows his fashion, of course.

And there's Boney M playing!

You can practically read his mind when he sees that diamond. Sugar momma alert! 😆

Damn, loving the black outfit, very sexy.

LEVITATING KLAUS WAS BEN LIFTING HIM UP! Seems that one crack theory on the fandom was right 🤣

Ben's face though 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

These two are the best combo. I love them.

61, Baja, NM. Traveling hippie commune.

Is Klaus still sober? He refuses a joint here so I'm inclined to believe that he is but he isn't acting very sober... Then again that might be an act, just him embracing the hippy life.

CALLED IT!!! BEN FALLS IN LOVE, DOESN'T HE?! I FUCKING CALLED IT IN EP 1!

62, Varanasi, India. The river scene from the promos. Yeah, I called this one too. Klaus is already looking seriously uncomfortable and realizing this is getting out of hand.

63, San Francisco. Poor Klaus is practically suffocating under all the touching and nobody respects his space or his words.

Destiny's Children! 🤣 You are such a 90s kid, Klaus.

Run away, Klaus! Run! Escape the crazies.

Ok, let me paused to write out a thought...

So a lot of people were worried about the cult thing and Klaus's intentions but it's clear he had no malicious intentions at all. He charmed and impressed some people for survival purposes and thrived, he enjoyed the love and attention at first and the cult just grew around around him organically whether he liked it or not, more a hippy cult of personality then a religious sect, but at some point he saw that it had gone too far, the pressure and expectation became too much and he realized he'd bitten more than he can chew.

It's actually rather sad how he just wants to escape but the cultists objectify him to all hell, he has no privacy or personal space. The problem with Klaus is that he doesn't do anything mildly, he always goes too big until he's drowning. Boy is already self-sabotaging and I'm sure he's going to start self-destructing very soon as well.

End of thought. Clicking play again.

Ouch! Poor Diego 😰 Lila, that is not how you cauterize a stab wound...

"what happened?" -your dear daddy stabbed you, dude.

Did she really need to strip him so thoroughly? 😏 Yes, yes, she did.

Well, at least she's not sewing you up, Diego. No needles, yay.

"oh, he isn't dead." "Disappointed?" "To see you? Always 😊" -did I mention I love Five's sass? I did? Well, I do.

Old family friend 😆

"you don't untie him?" "Was I supposed to?" Oh Lila, you're adorable, poor Elliot.

Vanya, that is suspicious as hell, just mow down that weirdo!

Ok, good instincts but too slow.

Run, girl, run!

Got to admit, these Swedes are good battle strategy, they are surrounding her surprisingly well.

Is this were the badass Vanya promo was from? Show me badass Vanya, please.

BADASS VANYA! 💖

Ooooooh, very smart, Five!!!

One of the machines though? What are the others for? I'm curious.

Plano Street Rooming House for Solitary Men? That's real depressing, Luther.

It's the "the end is nigh" guy the same that was screaming with Luther in ep 1?

King Kong! Not sure if cute or rude af...

Ahahahah! Luther literally STUMBLING on "Allison" and then acting like an awkward Steve Rogers when the kids call him out 😆 Boy, when will you realize that your obsession is creepy?

Honestly, ALL the Hargreeves siblings can be divided into two categories- sweet awkward dork or sass king/queen, there is no in-between (but Diego and Klaus get to be both).

Convenient that Vanya would just sit there and wait to be found by Five but ok.

"I have a brother?" -honey, you have five (pun fully intended)

IKEA MAFIA! 😂

Nice crop circle, Vanya.

Five just rolls with the amnesia, huh? Doesn't even question it. Ok, then.

Why is Ruby, notorious mobster, sewing sequins? It's it for the dog? I bet, it's for the dog.

"Hargreeves. She your ex?" *Cue Luther's super awkward fumbling* "S-Sorta...Y-Yeah. Sure." - big boy, this is the point where you realize how creepy your crush on your own sister is, time to reevaluate.

KLAUS AND ALLISON REUNION! THEY ARE SO CUTE! 😭💜

Honestly, I need more Klaus and Allison interactions. They have so much bff potential.

*le gasp* "oh, you're married?" 😲 -yes, Klaus, you met him.

"dicks, drugs, debutants. My holy trinity" -ok so everything Klaus says should be taken with a grain of salt but does Klaus still do drugs or not? Considering the evolution of his powers with Ben I'd say no, but we aren't seeing other ghosts harassing him so... Hmm, I need confirmation.

"alternative spiritual community" my ass

Ah, Allison falls into the sass queen category.

Allison can have a little PTSD, as a treat. 😢

Those shoes! Hi, Handler.

Those shoes really are her signature by now. Those heels could kill a man.

Handler as a brunette...? She looks good but I like her bleach blonde.

What did she say to make that boy pee himself?? Damn, Handler, no wonder your kid is a mess.

These dudes need to start listening to my girl Allison, instead of following her husband like puppies.

Great speech, girl! ✊

What is up with that sandwich???

Oh wait, it's Ben right? Klaus is using his powers to get Ray out of jail, isn't he?

Yup, of course he is.

Ben being all sassy and cocky about it gives me life.

"high places" - 😆

Poor Ray, you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into.

"family barbecues are about to get reeeeeeeal weird" - I'd actually like to see that.

"leave the pot, dear" - you're such an old man, Five.

"any questions?" Five, if be worried if she DIDN'T have questions after all that.

"asteroid impact" -aww 💜 you really do care for her feelings, Five... But you have to tell her the truth sooner or later.

Harlan likes classical music, huh? Good thing he knows a good violinist.

Harlan and Sissy... 😭 My poor heart.

Ouch! What is wrong with you, Lila? You're right but what is wrong with you?

"I can't believe I got shanked by my own father" - can't you, Diego? Really? After everything else that man did to you and your siblings?

"man to man, that son of bitch wouldn't stand a chance" - yeah, he would, he taught you all you know, boy

Not sure if Lila's story is true or not but... I still have that one theory that she was born on October, 1989...

"I don't understand you!!!" - ahah, poor Diego 🤣

Really? Right in front of Elliot's tuna mold?

Man, Handler is really obsessed with Five...

Oh, Luther, you giant puppy...

This is so AWKWARD!

Bonbons, Luther? Really?

Ok, this small talk is even MORE AWKWARD! It physically hurts to listen to this.

The pain in his face and voice when Luther goes "S-so great" 😭

boy, this is the moment you realize it's time to move on, you're not isolated teenagers in a dysfunctional home anymore, let her be your sister and find love elsewhere.

The sit in!

"seven languages" sassy, sassy, I love her.

YOUNG DAVE!

Oh no... Klaus, no, baby... Oh, this is painful.

Ben, don't be mean, let your brothe have this.

What kind of gay man doesn't know what eggshell is? 😆

"is this considered stalking? 'cause I think you're stalking now" - well, BEN, following your brother 24/7 for 15 years can also be considered stalking

Oh no, Vietnam flashbacks... Poor Klaus 😭😭😭

"Vietnam fling"? Ben, you know it wasn't just a fling! Stop being mean.

Aw, Klaus just wants to save Dave... He's willing to sacrifice their relationship to save Dave's life... 😭😭😭

I know Ben is just worried but he could be less mean...

Damn, this sit in thing is really upsetting...

Why is Ray being weird? Is he suspicious of Luther and Alison's relationship? Or is he just unhappy that Allison kept secrets about her family?

Oh Luther, no... Self-harm by proxy is not going to make you feel better.

Oh, motherfucker! That coffee thing was such an asshole move!

Shit, this scene is so well written, the way something so small is making the whole protest escalate to all hell... The police brutality, the parallels with recent events... Disturbing and brilliant and deeply relevant!

Yes! Rumor that motherfucker, Allison!

Oh no, don't be scared of your wife, Ray! Don't be suspicious!

Poor Allison... 😢

Oh Luther, you dumbass... 😢

Lila going to meet mommy, huh?

Oh, she's still wearing Diego's bracelet. Cute.

I know this scene between Handler and Lila was supposed to be a shocking plot twist but after David Castañeda's interview slip up, I already knew.

Still, an excellent scene and very cool surprise.

Like I said before, I really like Lila, I don't trust her AT ALL but I like her.

...

THIS WAS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL EPISODE... Again.

My god, this show gives me life.

[katie-dub]

What is this drama you talking about? Who stole whose fanfic? :O Is it the cs fandom?

Hey nonny, I'm glad for you that you missed the CS fandom drama. It's not a new thing, but a reopening of old wounds. It's @optomisticgirl's story to tell, so I'll point you to her post setting out the facts of what happened then and has happened now.

I don't often speak up about such things, because I want to be kind and compassionate - to myself by staying out of it, as much as anyone else. But I also want to be someone who says no when they see bullying take place. And that's what I saw, someone in pain, who expressed her feelings, who has been frustrated to see someone else profiting off the back of her hard work and had had enough, being shouted at by someone who wasn't there, who wasn't hurt and who told her that the feelings of the one who wronged her (feelings that it feels icky and not nice to be told that you did something wrong, when you did something wrong) matter more than hers.

And that act of plagiarism hurt us all, it's made our fandom harsher, uglier and a little less kind. I don't know what the consequences should be for it, but as I see it, there haven't been any. Yes, the offending story was removed, but that's not really a consequence. It's hard to believe that there has been any genuine learning, or genuine remorse.

And I'm speaking up because I'm tired of plagiarism just being accepted as one of those things, an inevitable and tiresome part of life, like the fact that a fantastic drunken night out leads to a miserable hangover the next day. "Nothing we can do about it!" we tell each other as we knock back a sixth beer.

Because this hasn't just happened to B.

(I have deliberately chosen to leave names out of this as a kindness to the others mentioned, so they don't have to relive what happened to them yet again, and be dragged into a drama that is not about them.)

A dear friend watched as her beloved fic was plagiarised and the accused refused to admit fault. Eventually they backed down and removed the work, but came back again, at least twice that I know of, with fics that had changed so little from the original fic that it was clear that they truly do not understand what constitutes an original work. My friend then had to stand by as she was chastised by some for not calling out the perpetrator and by others for risking starting a witch hunt.

There was another author I'm not close to who has seen her work repeatedly stolen by an individual who has never admitted fault for her actions, has never faced consequences and continues to claim the work as her own. The victim was so distressed that she deleted her own back catalogue and along with it everything she built up and worked hard for. A desperate act by someone who couldn't see any other way to protect her own work. Again, the victim is the one facing the consequences.

If we look at She Who Must Not Be Named, the HP (alleged) plagiarist of old, she refused to ever accept fault. She built a successful publishing career off the back of the fame that she achieved by stealing the work of others. And her published works have faced similar accusations. I don't know who she hurt by her actions, but I can bet they still feel it.

Why are we as a community letting those we should protect, the innocent victims, be belittled and traumatised by forcing them to pay for the crime that was committed against them?

And I say crime, because that's what this is, not a mistake, a crime. Theft. A deliberate and malicious choice to steal from someone else.

It's the difference between accidentally walking out of the shop with a lollipop that you put in the basket of your pushchair and didn't see when you went to pay, and walking into a shop with a weapon and demanding all their money.

One might be unconsciously mimicking something we've read before, I worry about this in my own work. I would be horrified if anyone came to me and do all I could to fix it. The other is willfully refusing to respect the creator, to ignore that she has said that she is unhappy and uncomfortable, that what has been created is not truly original, and refusing to amend it. Then holding your hands up when called out and saying "ooops, my mistake, sorry".

Because here's the thing. True growth is hard. To truly grow you have to truly repent, you have to be sorry for more than getting called out. To truly grow you have to understand what exactly you did wrong, and the patterns that I've seen with plagiarists often show that, well, they don't. They don't care to educate themselves on where the line is, because why bother? It's just fanfic. They don't take time to work on finding their own voice, to know that there is a difference between using the same initial prompt to write a fic and a lazy reworking of someone else's words. "Why shouldn't I outright steal that other author's lines?" they tell themselves, "that's what we're all doing anyway! Stealing lines from the original creators!" It's just fanfic.

They don't see what the harm is, it's all just fanfic.

[like-i-need-a-hole-in-my-head]

Psychopolitics and Surveillance Capitalism

I queued this post quite a while ago and it posted last night while I was asleep. I’m reposting because I’ve been thinking about this a bit more since I first saw it. I’ve shortened the original quote here:

[H]ealing ... refers to self-optimization that is supposed to therapeutically eliminate any and all functional weakness or mental obstacle in the name of efficiency and performance. Yet perpetual self-optimization ... amounts to total self-exploitation. [...] The neoliberal subject is running aground on the imperative of self optimization, that is, on the compulsion always to achieve more and more. Healing, it turns out, means killing.

and had a look at this review. From the review: “[W]hat capitalism realised in the neoliberal era, Han argues, is that it didn’t need to be tough, but seductive. This is what he calls smartpolitics. Instead of saying no, it says yes: instead of denying us with commandments, discipline and shortages, it seems to allow us to buy what we want when we want, become what we want and realise our dream of freedom. “Instead of forbidding and depriving it works through pleasing and fulfilling. Instead of making people compliant, it seeks to make them dependent.” 

I’m adding a break because this got long.

(review, cont’d)

And, while not Orwellian, we net-worked moderns have our own Newspeak. Freedom, for instance, means coercion. Microsoft’s early ad slogan was “Where do you want to go today?”, evoking a world of boundless possibility. That boundlessness was a lie, Han argues: “Today, unbounded freedom and communication are switching over into total control and surveillance … We had just freed ourselves from the disciplinary panopticon – then threw ourselves into a new and even more efficient panopticon.” And one, it might be added, that needs no watchman, since even the diabolical geniuses of neoliberalism – Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos – don’t have to play Big Brother. They are diabolical precisely because they got us to play that role ourselves.

At least in Nineteen Eighty-Four, nobody felt free. In 2017, for Han, everybody feels free, which is the problem. “Of our own free will, we put any and all conceivable information about ourselves on the internet, without having the slightest idea who knows what, when or in what occasion. This lack of control represents a crisis of freedom to be taken seriously.”

“Did we really want to be free?” asks Han. Perhaps, he muses, true freedom is an intolerable burden and so we invented God in order to be guilty and in debt to something. That’s why, having killed God, we invented capitalism. Like God, only more efficiently, capitalism makes us feel guilty for our failings and, you may well have noticed, encourages us to be deep in immobilising debt.” 

I think I’m going to get this book. This would make a great pairing with Surveillance Capitalism by  Shoshana Zuboff. (I’ve linked to a review; the book is available on Amazon and elsewhere). I have the book but haven’t read it yet. Think about this:

“Surveillance capitalism unilaterally claims human experience as free raw material for translation into behavioural data. Although some of these data are applied to service improvement, the rest are declared as a proprietary behavioural surplus, fed into advanced manufacturing processes known as ‘machine intelligence’, and fabricated into prediction products that anticipate what you will do now, soon, and later. Finally, these prediction products are traded in a new kind of marketplace that I call behavioural futures markets. Surveillance capitalists have grown immensely wealthy from these trading operations, for many companies are willing to lay bets on our future behaviour.” 

From the review: “The combination of state surveillance and its capitalist counterpart means that digital technology is separating the citizens in all societies into two groups: the watchers (invisible, unknown and unaccountable) and the watched. This has profound consequences for democracy because asymmetry of knowledge translates into asymmetries of power. But whereas most democratic societies have at least some degree of oversight of state surveillance, we currently have almost no regulatory oversight of its privatised counterpart”. 

Part of my job is related to the regulatory oversight of the private sector, and I definitely think that it is an absolute mess. Countries have vastly different rules, but data doesn’t respect borders. Different countries have different goals. The EU’s data laws protect the individual. China’s data laws protect the state. The US’s data laws protect the economy. (With a few exceptions, the laws are really about what can be monetized and what can’t.)

So what is an individual supposed to do? I struggle with the best way to protect my own privacy and personal data, and to teach my teens to do the same, let alone put it into a socio-political context. 

I don’t think it’s possible to completely opt out of the surveillance and participate in modern life. It’s a bit easier for old people like me to opt out but I see younger people whose peer group socialises to such an extent through apps and phones (snapchat, instagram, etc). The problem is that if they are not on these platforms, they are to a very large extent excluded from social life, and humans are social animals. It’s not healthy for them to be isolated.

OTOH, we can make some choices. For example, I have a Facebook account (I have 3, actually), but the one with my real name is just for an online course that uses a FB group for discussion. One is for testing. One is my “real” account that does not use my real name where I keep in touch with family since I live half a world away. I log out every time I use it. I never gave FB my phone number or location or work place or hometown etc etc. I opted out of any advertising that I could, particularly adverts using my own Likes. I opted out of all third party platforms so I cannot accidentally log into a third party site with FB. I do not upload photos of my children. I cannot be tagged. I opted out of facial recognition. I check settings once a week in case they are “accidentally” reset. I check after upgrades and so forth. I don’t use FB messenger. I don’t use the FB app. I log out and clear my cache and cookies regularly.  I download all of my FB data from time to time (I think a lot of people did this after the Cambridge Analytica scandal) and check that it’s accurate and I’m ok with what’s out there. (btw, one of my professional highlights was writing about Cambridge Analytica in 2017, before the scandals broke in early 2018, w00t). 

Also, I do not have any google accounts. At all. I don’t use gmail. I cannot sign into google maps. If someone sends me a google doc for editing, I ask for a copy, edit it and send it back. (This is rarely an issue though; I think it’s happened twice.) I used to have a Youtube account, and when they changed the settings to log in with a google account and not just an email, I created an account on a separate computer, logged in, deleted all of my videos and then deleted my youtube account, then deleted my google account and then cleared my cookies and cache. I think this was 2008. 

But truth be told, this is not much. I know that. Amazon knows which Audible books I listen to, which Kindle books I read, and which paperbacks I buy. It goes on and on. 

Is there a balance? Are our choices to opt in -submit- to this surveillance or live off the grid? This isn’t simply a matter of updating data privacy laws. The issues that need to be resolved underpin the entire economy and political order.

Food for thought, anyway. (So how’s your quarantine going?)