#also idk i know its hard to find stuff outside of 'oh you trip over a lot' as there is so many more aspects to dcd that get looked over
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Sometimes I like looking up dyspraxia on google or tumblr as it makes me feel better seeing others like me, but like everytime I am violently reminded just how much it seeps into my everyday life.
Like I have decent movement, I can't remember the last time I fell over and I rarely bump into things. I can now wear turtle neck jumpers without feeling like I'm being strangled. I can type fast on my laptop and rarely have to look at the keys. I can drive, parallel park and reverse park. I can even now catch stuff thrown at me like 9/10 times! All of this is because I've been working on those skills for 19 years, both by myself and through speech and physiotherapy between the ages of 5 and 9.
But then I still have major issues organising my life, I have problems going to appointments and responding to emails. My main emotion everyday is to feel unemotional and when I do feel a real, strong emotion I have a hard time showing it, often apperaing neutral or like I don't care. I still don't fully get some social concepts. My memory can be really dodgy. My handwriting is quick and spidery as it hurts my hand to write slowly and neatly and I can't use anything but cheap gel pens as anything else will smudge. I still drop food on myself or the table daily. I'm still nervous carrying mugs of tea or coffee around, in fact I actually refuse point blank to carry trays of food in cafes, as I worry so much about dropping them and I find the weight and instability difficult to handle. I get tired easily and find it hard to stand in the kitchen and cook for more than half an hour before I just end up in pain, I can't use can openers and I have a hard time chopping food. I really like doing craft stuff with my hands but I find it so hard to continue with that craft stuff as it always comes out looking horrible and I just don't have the patience to continue.
It is hard living in a constant uphill battle, with everyone around you getting on with their lives and being so "hyper" organised. But I've managed to grow so much over the years and I hope that one day soon I can move some more of the things on my "I can't do or struggle to do right now" list, and move them into my "success" or "I can just in my own way" list.
#sorry this is a rant and a half but idk im proud of myself for doing so well#also idk i know its hard to find stuff outside of 'oh you trip over a lot' as there is so many more aspects to dcd that get looked over#and I just kinda wanna let other people know.- esp those just being diagnosed - that there are other aspects of your life it effects#dyspraxia#actually dyspraxic#long post#dyspraxic#god im only 24 but i sound more and more like an internet 'elder' christ i have matured a lot since 2019#this feels very saccharine for me but its true i am doing better! and i want to continue to do better in my own neurodiverse way!#also apologies for spelling mistakes im also dyslexic ;)
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here's a list of things i love about PSMD for no reason other than i think it deserves appreciation (spoilers)
the hero gets adopted by a nuzleaf. Hero, a young child that doesn't know why they were brought into this world, attacked by beheeyem, scared and alone, finds someone that takes them under his wing and gives them a home. it's really sweet that once Nuzleaf brings them to the Village, Hero's not alone anymore.
yes it was all a trick, he deceived you. but being betrayed by your father figure hits so much harder. it's much more personal, especially when both Hero and Partner are kids. and when Nuzleaf goes through all that ordeal in the post game, then gets accepted back into the village?? And his little speech to Hero????? it's heartbreaking and incredibly touching at the same time
everything is just so cute!!!! you go to school with your new friendo and you're friends with the schoolkids, and you make the trip to school every morning taking in the scenery, the smell of dew and fresh grass, and the sun on your face... and you take classes about Mystery Dungeon mechanics, and principal Simipour is a big BRO, the school nurse Audino is super kind and helpful... and you get to play with your pokemon friendos in summer vacation, and explore a dungeon with 'em... AND your bond with your Partner begins to form, getting stronger and stronger from then on. PSMD's beginning arc is so warm and pleasant, it's like reliving childhood memories all over again, when things were happier and you didn't have to worry about how cruel the world is. this story section's one purpose is to get the player used to the game's mechanics, as well as foreshadowing. unfortunately most of the school kids get forgotten later on, but I still love this part for everything it is, even if unintentional.
it's not just the beginning that's cute. PSMD'S ENTIRE WORLD IS ADORABLE. It's just filled with life every town you go. there are a bunch of pokemon locals and they all have interesting things to say, in the main story and the post-game. there's a point where their comments get repetitive, but that's bound to happen in any PMD game. Even then, the days are never the same. one morning you wake up and the Lively Town locals are exercising, then the next they're having singing lessons, and then they're practicing martial arts. and you get to connect with (or recruit) some of them just by.... chatting!!! Sitting next to that big ol' venusaur and sharing stories, laughing and having fun. it's good stuff.
Sometimes you find travelling pokemon in dungeons and it's jsut the coolest thing. Imagine you're exploring a dungeon, then your Connection Orb notifies you there's a fellow explorer in the floor. First thing you do is try to find them, and when you do - oh dang a travelling Archeops!!!! And then they just,,,, exchange their experiences and thoughts on exploration and how hard it is to fend off those enemies and the cool treasure they found the other day (the game calls it "[Team Name] and [Traveller pokemon] compared notes"). then the traveller heals you, fills your belly and restores your PP. and they go on their way. idk man it's such a cute interaction. explorers chatting, empathizing and helping each other, bc their job is not an easy one...
PSMD Partner is the most developed Partner in any PMD game yet. They start off as this naive, hyperactive kiddo, then stuff happens, and worse stuff happens, and you get to see how they grow and change and by the end they're a different person than they were before (in more than one way ...). It's just so nice to be by their side, from the beginning to the bitter end, and watch their growth. in contrast, Hero is a little unbalanced in that their backstory is not explored as much, and their personality is kind of a blank - probs meant to be vague so the player can be in their shoes. to me this just gives you the opportunity to shape their character however you want, so you can have tons of different hero/pardner dynamics.
The music is rlly flippin' good. Some of the tracks are recycled from previous entries, but when they go original??? it's a blast!!! "Echoes of the Mystical Forest" is one of my favorites in all four entries, it has no right being so amazing for a random dungeon. "Time to Set Out" makes me cry immediately (also i think it would be a better fit for the parting ways scene at the end...). Don't even get me started on "Second Dark Matter Battle", it has everything an epic climax needs and MORE. the Partner remix????? absolute genius
speaking of which, Dark Matter ITSELF,, is freaking amazing. Its actions were foreshadowed in the very beginning, though they were not blatant through the game. i do think they could have done a better job at showing the pokemon's negativity raising in the world, as well as negative feelings in the characters... but it's not like Gates did a good job at it, either (outside of cutscenes, all the locals in Post Town are incredibly nice to you and fights didn't "break out often". it's like the game tells you the world is a dark place, but what it shows in gameplay doesn't add up). so i'll cut them some slack. Still, I find Dark Matter a more compelling villain than the Bittercold for several reasons. it is sentient. its speech is a jumbled amount of voices all talking at the same time - the anguished voices of the world. It actually concocted a plan to hurl the planet into the Sun, using pawns like Nuzleaf and Yveltal to do its dirty job. in the Voidlands, Hero and Partner discover its past, and how it'll come back after defeat, like a cycle. when Partner accepts Dark Matter, they accept negative feelings as something everyone has within themselves. Most of all, the fact that Dark Matter is a manifestation of negative feelings doesn't make it just a generic threat, a final obstacle to be defeated so the world can be saved. It makes Dark Matter - negativity itself - a natural part of the world, the yin to its yang. and that's why I LOVE IT SO MUCH DANG IT EVEN THANKS PARTNER FOR THEIR ACCEPTANCE
The fact that Dark Matter can possess pokemon that have "even the smallest amount of darkness in their hearts". it makes me think of Mr. Nuzleaf and what he might have gone through in the past to make him so easy to be controlled. Did he hold a grudge against someone?? Did he commit a crime?? Had Nuzleaf always been malicious???? And if so, is this why he shows so much remorse in the post-game??????? because he had always been this vile fiend and then he met this small kid and got attached, but still carried on with his evil actions because his malice was still stronger than the positive feelings and Dark Matter's hold on him intensified?????? I don't know!!!! and as much as i wish the game could have given us that sweet mr. Nuzleaf backstory, it's pretty fun to have freedom to come up with your own version.
Everything about Super's climax is just phenomenal. Every single flippin' legendary is there to help you. Arceus is in the game. MEWTWO IS THERE. and when things are looking hopeless, they really seem hopeless. First the Tree of Life is dying, then your allies get turned into stone and sent to hell The Voidlands, Arceus gets turned into stone, the entire world is stone (except for several mon' that are still safe and holding onto hope, but they're so few). Your Harmony Scarves stop working and you and your Partner are back to your feeble, basic stage forms. You are bordering exhaustion, you have no Emeras, it's just you and your Partner against an eldritch abomination that's killing the life on the entire planet like a parasite, devouring all hope. but you still fight back. Given how adults in the game always discourage the village children from going adventuring, that they cannot do this or that because they're so little and fragile, it's awesome how Hero and Partner beat Dark Matter as tiny kids.
PSMD is not a flawless game. in fact there's plenty of things that hold it back and i even mentioned some... but it's still full of love put into it and it resonates w me more than PMD Explorers of T/D/S and Gates to Infinity (Rescue Team is a close second). its my all-time favorite PMD game.
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Radioactive Spider Bite
Peter Parker x fem!Reader
Warnings: language, vilonce, muture content? Maybe later on?, jealousy, death, idk its marvel... slow updates.
A/N: please don't be rude. Feed back is welcome but be kind. If there is any little details you would like to change to fit your style and personality please do so. This will also be on my WATTPAD along with all my other stories. This begins with Civil War when Peter comes home to find Tony Stark there. It will go to Homecoming, Infinity War, End Game, Far From Home, and then when No Way Home is out and I watch it the story will continue as long as there is a new movie with Spider-Man.
Word Count: 1106
Captian America: Civil War
Chapter One
Peter Park was my best friend since we were six when he moved in upstairs with his Uncle Ben and Aunt May. May always watched me when my mom was out of town on a business trip which was often. With Peter living a floor above me, we always used the fire escape to get to each other's bedrooms. Often sitting outside for hours talking.
Peter and I were very different people. Where he was extremely book smart, I was street smart. I wouldn't be passing any of my classes if it wasn't for Peter. He was always helping me with homework and to study for tests. That's why I didn't get it when he dragged me to the science exhibit. That's where it all went weird. I was taking pictures when I felt a pinch on my hand "ouch!" I said and looked down to see a red and blue spider. I was about to smack it when a hand grabbed my wrist. "Stop," Peter said and picked it up off my hand only to be bitten too and dropping it. "You were saying?" I said. "You can't kill it. It was only trying to defend itself," he said rubbing his hand.
That was six months ago. Now, we both have some abilities that spiders have and other abilities as well like... Superhuman strength, agility, endurance, ability to stick to and climb walls and other surfaces. Peter made self-designed web-shooters that allowing us to fire and swing from sticky webs, he uses it more than me. We also have some kind of special "Spider-Sense" that warns us of incoming danger. Once the shock wore off Peter was all into being some kind of superhero. He went around the city saving people from "evil" and other things, he made a suit (that looks ridiculous) and everything. I wasn't all that into it, I never used the web-shooters or went out doing good like he did.
That was until one day Peter and I came home from school walking intp the apartment and Tony Stark was there at the apartment talking to May in the living room on thw couch.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Peter and I stood in the elevator going up to the seventh floor. He had t.v. box or something in his hands to work on one of his projects and I was on my phone and we both had earbuds in with on hanging out so we could hear each other. The elevator dinged and the door opened. We walked out and to his apartment as he pulled his keys out and unlocked the door. We walked in not even looking at May. "Hey, May," we both said. Peter grunted as his backpack fell off his shoulder and ended up tripping me since I was paying attention making me fall into him. "Ow," I whispered. "Hmm. Hey," May said as we set our stuff down.
"Dude, watch where you drop your shit," I said pushing him as we walked into the kitchen. "Watch where you're going," he laughed and pushed me back. "How was school today?" May asked. "Sucked!" I said. "It was okay," Peter said. "What's up with the car outside?" I asked. "Yeah, there this crazy car parked outside," Peter said and we both came to a stop looking into the living room to see May sitting on the couch with Tony Stark. "Holy shit," I said and hit Peter in the chest with the back of my hand. He grabbed it as he grunted. I sometimes forget about the super strength we have.
"Oh, Mr. Parker and Miss. Jones," Tony said. "Um..." peter and I both said. Peter was a huge fan of Tony Stark aka Iron-Man. "What are you doing... Hey! Uh, I'm... I'm... I'm Peter," Peter stuttered out. I rolled my eyes "pretty sure he knows that Pete," I said sarcastically. "Shut up, y/n," Peter said. "Tony," Mr. Stark said. "What are you... what're you doing here?" Peter asked crossing his arms. I stood beside him and crossed my arms as well. "It's about time we met. We've both been getting my emails, right?" Mr. Stark asked. "Yeah. Yeah," Peter said. "Right?" He asked me. "Oh. Umm. I have no idea. I don't look at my email," I said shrugging, and Peter looked at me. "What?" I asked and shook his head looking back at Mr. Stark.
"Yeah. Regarding the..." Peter started but May cut him off. "You didn't tell me about the grant," she said. "About the grant," Peter said. "Grant?" I asked. "The September Foundation," Mr. Stark said. "I'm confused," I said. "Check your email," Peter said. "Remember when you two applied," Mr. Stark said. "I did..." I started but Peter cut me off. "Yeah," he said smiling. "I approved, so now we're in business," Mr. Stark said. I just stood there still confused. "But you didn't tell me anything. What's up with that? You're keeping secrets from me now? What's up with that?" May asked.
"We... we just know how much you love surprises so we thought we would let you know..." Peter stuttered out. "Anyway. What did we apply for?" I asked Mr. Stark. "That's what I'm here to hash out," he said. I nodded my head. "Okay. Hash it out, okay," Peter said. "It's so hard for me to believe that she's someone's aunt," Mr. Stark said about May. My eyebrows shot up as May laughed and blushed. "Yeah, well, we come in all shapes and sizes, you know," she said. I grabbed Peter's arm and we looked at each other before looking back at the two adults. "This walnut date loaf is exceptional," Mr. Stark said.
Peter held his left hand out "Let me just stop you there," he said. "Yeah," Mr. Stark said. "Is this grant got money involved or whatever? No?" Peter asked putting his hands behind his back. "Yeah, it's pretty well funded," Mr. Stark told us. "Yeah? Wow," Peter and I said. "Look who you're talking to. Can I have five minutes with them?" Mr. Stark asked May. "Sure," she said. He stood up and Peter grabbed my wrist pulling me along "my rooms this way," he said and we lead Mr. Stark to Peter's room. We looked at Mr. Stark who closed and locked the door before walking over to the small trash bin in the corner and spit something in it. "As walnut date loaves go, that wasn't bad," he said.
#tom holland#peter parker#peter parker x reader#peter parker fanfiction#spider man#spider man x you#spider man x reader#marvel#civil war#homecoming#infinity war#end game#far from home#captian america#tony stark#iron man#steve rogers#falcon#bucky#black widow#the black panther#wanda maximoff#vision#ant man
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hii! sorry if you've answered this before, but how did you find your own art style? it's nothing like i've seen before, very dream-like (: i feel like with so many artists out there it can be hard to find one's own style but yours is truly unique. if it's not too much to ask, do you still have any of your first drawings? thank you 💕💕
(Oh & I'm sorry if I have answered it before, I didn't find anything on my blog so woop here comes my blaber)
Hello dear!
Thank you so much, you flatter me and my bit-som of art-som, heh. Specially that you have called it dream like— cuz 1/4 of my creations does come from my dreams. I even had a dream about Severus a couple of days ago- was explaining to him the concept of gestures in smartphones, I told him it's like pulling down a scroll, to get the notifications, lol.
Before I start side-tracking too much, yes- I can't say I do know how it happens, I guess I wasn't on the base of looking for an art style for myself, or ever considered myself an artist— or a real one? Idk. The idea of having an 'art style' doesn't register with me so I'm possibly always confused what to make of it.
I mean, I didn't go into art for art's sake. I don't enjoy beauty just for beauty's sake. It has to have a meaning, purpose, hidden dilemma you need to solve just by looking deeper; is it speaking to me, or am I speaking for it?
My only concern since the beginning of time of Mani apparating this earth and what got them into drawing anyway is: telling the story as best as possible.
I was drawing before I learned speaking. It was my instinctive language. I had something to say? Illustrated it on a piece of paper to show.
Everything I see in my surroundings or mostly in mind, I had a story to tell about. So I didn't even consider that I was making art.
I remember when I developed enough cells to be aware- I started trying to copy or capture the basics of family members, making stories about them, also games or shows I played; I drew Crash bandicoot, driving into a cliff because he was hated by his family, Tiny wearing an abaya. Pink panther cuz how tall he was weirded me out in a fascinating way, Tarzan and his special muscles, a story about an abused squid lady that eventually turn into a mermaid, a guy turning into a hero coz of some near death experience.. mmm stories about my favourite stuffed rabbit CeCe Bobo— probably the only innocent adventures I drew as a child— I wanted so badly to make them into a video game, having their parents fall into a pit of flames, heh.
And because I had daily TV episodes in my brain of whatever to occupy me from unsanitary real life; I associated with many people I love to see materlized; my characters. So I had to try & draw them exactly how they look/feel, and that's what my art slowly developed based on; is this guy the way I seen and felt him look like? If not, try other ways.
At first, I drew them with literal basic shapes, like a character would have a square face, and another heart, and if I couldn't draw circle, I used my pencil sharpener that was shaped as a circle. A method still I use to differentiate my characters (without the pencil sharpener lol)
Later, since my characters have generally my favourite things, or things I enjoy, things I appreciate— basically things from me directly or from my choices, conscious they were or not—had them chopped and scattered between the lot of them. And to learn how to do some favourite factors of them is what drives my art style I suppose. I knew I didn't want it realistic, but I also didn't want it unreal. What makes art real? That's probably the always questions I face.
Ofc, I was face with so many problems to deteriorate my passion for drawing. Like, not being allowed to draw in the first place. I had wait till everyone is gone or occupied, had to always look over my shoulder and must constantly hide every inkling of any art making, and act like the project I'm making is for school, and draw in breakfast breaks at school. I used to draw under my blanket and store my art between my books or under my pillow (never related to anything so hard like when Harry was studying magic and Dursley keeps checking on him, honestly heh). Either all that or I get the whip.
Or being told what's the point of having a style like that while everybody obviously enjoys popular styles like anime or cartoon? Why don't I draw like the popular to get noticed? I don't know how to draw anime or cartoon even if I tried. It will just show as my art style, no? Exactly like speaking two different languages with the same letters.
Or like the idea of strictly sticking to gendering things while the idea never occurred to me. The base line of how men has to be ugly and women pretty. My motto is showing beauty in everything, even in scary or messed up things hehe. But I had to consent to making my guys 'ugly' as possible to continue drawing, and if u notice a line on their throats, that's one other thing I had to do, wasn’t allowed to draw girls either. And I wasn't happy with any of that at all.
But I was able to win my right to draw anytime I like in recent years, and able to draw how I like how I use digital means. So it got better heh.
And no it's not too much, if anything, it was took me on a dusty beautiful trip of nostalgia, I thank you for it. Sadly I don't have my first drawings, and I do treasure them but they all been tossed, torn and burned before me over the years, heh.
The oldest thing I got is this, a comic made, was 11 years old I think:
Medo, a guy so beautiful that he was forced to work as a femal model, concept that felt the best to me, heh. Even tho I was in no contact with the outsider world.
He is my first solid character and I made endless comics of him.
He's develop into this -dated 2014- , he's fairy sentinel.
And I found few of my old or first time drawing them pics of the main characters in my stories, I'd love to share:
Juicy and X-bi— second ones I made. But these drawings are maybe 2 or 3 years after I made them
I know I said that lots, but x-bi was a mask wearing imaginary friend I translated into X-bi. He has almost always cold hands so I used to put my skin on cold metallic surface and imagine it his hands trying to ease the pain.
And since I had no audience home, my stuff showed at school as i drew alone, always with various replies of 'its good, but'
Juicy got me in trouble with a teacher, by a careless student that was browsing my drawings In front of them, and I was classified as mentally deranged and need help for not drawing the usual princes and white knight.
Fernando and Carlos are also old characters that expressed romance in everything they do, so when I had a drawing of them Carlos tending to a fevered Ferry, and it was snatched from me, everyone considering it intimacy and I had to punch my way through them to get it back. Being called perverted and sick in the process, even tho all they talk to me about is marriage and the process of making babies. One of them literally told me on random occasion that their heart was like a ten story building for rent, there's always someone new in and out.
Carlos is Fernando's soul guardian💛
I created General Pumbkin in school! expressing fashion in strictness with my fav hooked nose!
Axel was my joy in everything, and the most common character I got beat up for, for being girly. I don't draw him too much anymore but seeing him again made me auto happy , hes all about giving loff, darling hehe
Candy, a less brain developed babyy
Brain and Pain, my sibs fav characters from my bag, heh
And Sabine was said to me that he should be a girl to be that scared in a scary story, his story is like dark and twisted fairytales vibe that I love dearly. I'm trying to continue writing his story.
Despite whatever, I love doing art, I have to. It what gives me soul juice heh.
And thank you for sticking on my prolonged answer. I hope I didn't bore too much, I'm flooded with memories happy and bad, and they are all okay. It made me feel passionate again, so thank you for the opportunity 🙏
1.5.2020
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session 6
so pdfing and jpging things for tumblr is hard so ur just gonna deal with this have fun
I'm sleepy
Also criminal minds is v good
"rain makes sleepy" or smth I can't process anything rn
"can I just stop.. Stop trying .. With discord"
We're so quiet
And out of it
"if I have an extra belt, I'll just hook it to it" - dom2020, about the loss of his window blinds stick thing
The only people w blinds problems r jacob n dom apparently
Jacob: can we start at 3
Jacob: can we start at 4
Jacob: can we start at 5
Lol ok
If lillian is a reformed horse girl dom is a reformed cow boy
JACOB IS GOING TO REPLACE THE MILK IN DOM'S HOUSE WITH HIS
"I'm going to go to your house and replace the milk in your house with mine"
Dom didn't know males could lactate
Last time we finished downtime w a bomb I guess
An explosion outside of our home
N then we found out the one goblin or smth killed by the explosion was the last key holder of the oh it was a gnomes it was an associate of renaer's father
Asyna given a necklace by a child + asyna's fish spirit thing
We go into mirt's house in one of the sitting rooms
Renaer is pacing and looks concerned n frantic
U missed sylvia's question oops
Ok wait suddenly we started talking about trump and politics what happened
Ok so when it comes to protesters burning stuff like cars and businesses there are a lot of reports that it's not protesters and that it's police and/or random ppl just joining to break things
I haven't looked into that as much but one of the biggest arguments is that ppl who were really protesting wouldn't b burning down the low-income businesses n stuff that have been
Adam asking to renaer and floon if the gnome had a reason to come to our house
Maybe gnome found out ppl were watching and maybe wanted to give us the thing
Adam asking if we need the body
if he didn't have it on him then the authorities would've confiscated
There r speak w dead practices ig
Not really any reason to believe it's not on the body
Mirt asks us to recount the events
Looked like zents
Why would zents want the gnome
Renaer said smth
All of us r flustered from day's events
Theo got 15
One of the neighbors fallah the elf person had said someone wandered off
Adam tells them abt which building the attack probs came from
Asyna brings up necklace and said it was from a puppet
Mirt takes the necklace and is looking at it
Four jewels hanging from the broken necklace, reddish-orange almost marbles
Looks like one of them had been pulled off
Stone impervious to scrying magic
Stone looks like ?????
Either with the police or on the zent or idk
Could ask trench to find it bc expert tracker
Adam runs arcana check on it
Rolls 18, learn it could have smth to do w the element of fire
"can we throw it into the fire?"
Gonna dangle the necklace over the candle
No reaction
Asyna has her deer, summons it
Comes out, paces, looks at asyna expectantly
Naya is a scrying deer so u can tell it to scry
"I'll show naya the necklace, be like, 'scry'"
Jumps around, backs up toward house front then looking for us to follow
Mirt is meeting w associates
Adam: "invite us" . "sometime"
Renaer says he'll lie low probs bc worried abt his fate
Floon says ditto basically
We're following naya and watching it move through the streets
Right as the sun sets make it further into sea ward and then naya stops and returns to the token
Back in the direction of our house toward a gated, walled-off manor house w elegant metal bars blocking some sight and a low wall covering it, locked gate
Building behind it looks two stories tall
You do not recognize the building
No visible guards, just the wall itself
Some light coming in from windows but no one in front of the windows walking around
Some light lit on the second story
Sylvia's gonna jump over it ig but I have to play w thE CHILD
Sylvia wants to use a bear
R we using my dog
Or is asyna turning into a bear
No one's around it's night
We're gonna try picking the lock first ig
Oh nvm we're knocking
Asyna is knocking
Waits a little, no response
Door made out of solid wood but we're just gonna lockpick instead of letting adam destroy it
Theo tries lockpicking, puts ear to door and eventually can't pick open lock
If asyna turns into an animal she can open the door
Squirrel!asyna time does it ez
Rolls 15 for perception
Squirrel!asyna is on the wall, there's a pathway that goes forward and one branching off towards the left to what's probably a guest house
Adam is gonna send message, eventually we notice a groundskeeper w two mastiffs
They're kinda far from us, over 100 ft away they're just making rounds
Asyna might try to unlock the door as a squirrel
Strength check as squirrel
Dogs r getting closer
Asyna can't open it
Could knock when the groundskeepers r closer
When mastiff+groundskeeper come closer we'll try that
OOP just asyna is rolling initiative as a squirrel
Lmao rolled nat20
Asyna might die ???
Climbs up wall again
Gets onto top of wall
Older human gentleman just pulls dogs aside
Groundskeeper says we can't go in and eventually walks away
Adam "not even someone who has official business with the house's master ?"
Rolls a 9, groundskeeper says come back in the sun
There's a dirt path ???? One going forward towards a porch into the main building, and a side path that eventually diverges abt 50 feet up the path further into the courtyard
Not a manor w manicured gardens, otherwise just p flat
We're gonna stealthily run for it
We make it to the main door of the house, it's unlocked - doesn't even look like it could be traditionally locked bc it's just a display door
We forgot to lock the door we left
60 feet away
Adam is giving me bardic inspiration whispered
He's playing a soft lullaby
You RUN
Can kinda shut it, to left you see the two dogs and groundskeeper but they don't notice you and you sneak back
We go into the villa
Go in, shut the door haha frozen computer
We enter and see immediately to the left 15 ft away a shut door, further down the hallway a long dinner setup
Dinner table turned over on its side
Staircase and another set of doors to right
But most of all there r dead bodies littered in the hallway
Probs 10ish
Some dressed in typical guardsmen attire w spears, smaller number of bodies covered in zents attire
We hear sounds of active fighting upstairs
Inspect the dead bodies
No one recognized, one of them collapsed in front of a doorway leading into a
Five different exits including door we came from and stairs
Check the other exits
Naya is summoned but it doesn't work
Oh bc it's once a day
Nvm there are four different doorways
One w a guard slumped over in front of it
Go to door to immediate left
Adam stealthily cracks door open, looks like a storage room
There's a skinny 5ft wide staircase to the right
Gonna check another door
Peek into another room w two human men dressed in black zent robes w maces at their belts and at the sound of the door, turn and r shocked for a second
Cel goes first
Groot gets 6 for initiative idk if there r any modifiers
They're running forward to attack
U roll 17+4 for first insight
U have sneak attack against one of the targets
14 pts of damage gOD I'M SO SORRY Y'ALL I TOOK A FAT MINUTE
U run up and stab him and he looks p heavily wounded
Cel has tripped and fallen for reasons
U get 4 damage he tries to hit u in the head so the wooden part of the mace hits ur head
Asyna
Pulls out ice knife
21 to hit, going for the one that hit me
Rolls a 1 LMAO
Ice knife
Couldn't hit him w full attack but secondary part of the attack hit him and has some damage
Adam
Runs into line of sight, they look cut up but not bloodied
Casts vicious mockery on the one u stabbed
Points at hole in gut "I bet the hole in ur gut is not as large as the hole in your heart"
4 damage
Theo
Strikes and misses
Groot
2 damage
Dom's gonna
kill my dog
Other guy attacks theo
Hits
U do 5 damage
Ok so
Ig every time u fight
U can use sneak attack ??
9 pts to damage
Ok I think ur using sneak attack wrong
Adam technically saved ur dog
Asyna
Rolls nat20 to hit
Rolls
Kills the guy
"I mean, shillelagh"
Howls in pain, slumps over on the ground
It's the bald one the guy u stabbed
Adam
Casts vicious mockery
Threatens baldness
2 damage
Theo
2, no hit
Groot
Doesn't hit
Other guy
Trying to hit theo
Hits
3 damage
Aerana
Shortsword
6 damage
Asyna
8 to hit
12 hits
7 damage
Siiiiiis imagine killing both of them wait is he dead
Oop he's not dead yet tho
Adam
Vicious mockery
Lives
Theo
16 to hit
ROLLS A ONE
LILLIAN
Four damage
BRUH
Groot misses
Other guy
Drops his weapon
Adam walks into the room
"hey buddy . What's goin on ?"
Persuasion check at disadvantage
10
Might as well kill
You kill, groot pushes adam so adam doesn't see
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for you — bang yedam
summary: by mistake, you took yedam’s notebook that just so happens to be filled with songs written about you. genre: fluff pairing: shy!yedam x reader request: “can you do a fluffy yedam scenario? about songwritings and stuff, i would love it :') thank u so much, i love your writing a lot! <3 oh and the yedam scenario can be a bullet scn please? thank uuuu <33″ a/n: i based this scenario off of a prompt i found on google, which was, “i’m not stalking you, exactly, it’s just that you accidentally put my notebook in your bag and i’m waiting for a good moment to steal it back before you see my doodles in it.” instead, i replaced doodles with the songs yedam has wrote. i apologize for any mistakes you may find in this since i didn’t proofread this!
if someone was to ask you if you knew yedam, then you would respond back with, “yes, i do.”
you know yedam, but that’s as merely as it gets
you didn’t know much about yedam
and despite you two sitting next to each other in class
the most you two have ever said to each other were “did you do the homework?”, “how did you get that answer?”, and possibly other quotes similar to this as it all only revolves around school
once the school bell rang throughout the campus, dismissing everyone from class, you always found yourself rushing yourself to put all of your belongings back into your backpack
you didn’t want to spend a single extra second in this cold building
i can relate
on the other hand, yedam tends to take his time
he has a more calmer state and doesn’t mind spending a few extra minutes at school
as you scrambled yourself and your belongings, yedam stood there completely frozen like a stone, not knowing what to do in that very second
right in front of yedam’s eyes, he caught you mistakenly grabbing a hold of his notebook as you placed it into your backpack
after safety putting everything in, you quickly zipped up your backpack and walked right out of the classroom
you have had confused yedam’s notebook as yours because you both had similar notebooks and it was also slightly hovering over on your side of the desk
idk about you guys but i get slightly annoyed when the person next to me has their stuff on my desk like even if its just a little bit im like hhhhhh
when yedam finally comprehended what had just happened, a small little “uh, wait.” fell out of his mouth
but it sure wasn’t loud enough for you to hear it as you have already left
“what am i going to do?” yedam asked himself as his palms became clammy
if there was anything in the world that yedam didn’t want to happen
then it would be you to read his notebook
he immediately grabs his backpack and runs outside the building, attempting to follow you in this panic state
yedam continued to follow you, from a distance, down the sidewalk as you casually made your way home
at first, he wanted to approach you and tell you what actually happened, but he’s waaaay too embarrassed to possibly start a conversation with you
he can’t even imagine a conversation happening between you two because he views it as something just “out of this world”
“should i just secretly open their backpack and steal back my notebook?” yedam quietly says to himself, tapping his index finger on the tip of his chin
“no, that’s stealing.” he shook his head. “actually, it wouldn’t be because it’s my notebook after all.”
as he was trying to decide how he should exactly approach you, he didn’t realize that he has been following after your footsteps for approximately ten minutes
suddenly, you stopped walking and began to shout out “whoever you are, i know you’re following me.”
yedam pauses and contemplates whether or not he should run back home
he’s definitely not a stalker!!! but come on, yedam, you are following someone and that’s the same action as a stalker
you reach into your backpack and pull out mysterious object as you spun around “I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY, SO BACK OFF.”
[birds] caw... caw... caw...
this is absolutely awkward
you found yourself standing and pointing your pepper spray at yedam, who was just as baffled as you
“yedam?” at the speed of light, you moved your hands and pepper spray behind your back as you start to chuckle to cover up what just occurred. “i’m sorry. let’s pretend that didn’t happen, alright?”
“o-okay.”
the two of you stood in front of one another
both of you were waiting for the other say something, but not a single word was coming out of either of your guys mouths
“the thing is—” yedam tries his best to spark up his previous thoughts, but he was unexpectedly cut off by you as you tried to speak at the same time
“are you also walking home?” a sudden shock was sent through yedam’s nerve system as you spoke up
“i’m sorry!” you apologize for cutting him off. “what was it that you were going to say?”
yedam’s mind: hmmmmm to awkwardly tell them that i was going to steal my notebook back from them? or to lie and say that my house is this way ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
who knew that lying would be this easy?
“it’s nothing.” yedam brought his hand up to shyly rub his nape. “yeah, i’m also on my way home. i live just down the street.” he pointed down the pathway, releasing a chuckle to hide the uneasiness in his voice
“i didn’t know that you lived down here too! i thought i was the only one in the whole school who lived over here.” your voice raised up a pitch as you were completely thrilled to know that someone lives nearby you. “well, since we’re in this situation, should we continue to walk home together?”
“s-sure.” yedam stutters, walking a few steps closer to you
the two of you began walking beside with one another
it was a pretty silent trip, but you decided that it was time to break the silence
“yedam, you’re alright with me walking with you, right?”
yedam brought his head up, since he was originally staring at the ground, and raised an eyebrow. “of course. why wouldn’t i be?”
“i don’t know.” you slightly tilted your head before continuing on. “i just had a feeling that you didn’t like me since we never talk in class, despite us sitting next to each other.”
him?? not liking you???
sweetie, it’s the other way around
ᴬᴬᴬᴬᴴᴴᴴᴴ yedam wanted to scream
but right now isn’t the appropriate time to do so
“n-no, that’s not it!” he began to wave his hands back and forth in the air. “it’s just hard for me to talk sometimes. please, don’t misunderstand.”
your lips crept into a soft smile because you were so relieved to find out that he doesn’t hate you as you originally thought. “that makes me feel so much more better.”
yedam saw your smile and he could’ve swore he forgot how to breathe for a second
since it was 100% clear that yedam didn’t dislike you, you couldn’t help, but to ask him so much questions regarding about him
you wanted to get to know him, not as the boy who sits next to you in class
but as bang yedam, the individual human being who you were so curious about
maybe you didn’t notice this
but the two of you were walking in a much slower pace than usual
perhaps, you both wanted this conversation to last forever
as the time pasts by and the conversation between you two continued
you both come across a convenience store
“hey,” you say as you lightly pulled on yedam’s uniform sleeve. “let’s go inside here. i’ll buy you whatever you want!”
“i’m okay, really!”
as the two of you enter the convenience store, you push yedam into an aisle and declare “go pick out something. i won’t take no for an answer!”
he complies to your wish and walks over to the back freezers and picks out a can of iced coffee
“coffee? at a time like this?” you suddenly ask into yedam’s ears, causing him to startling jump. “do you need to stay up late or?”
“yeah, i think tonight is going to be a restless night for me, so i might as well get this.” he says as you both make your way towards the cash register
“what are you going to do? stay up all night long by just staring at the wall?” you jokingly comment, placing a bag of chips and soda onto the counter as yedam does the same with his iced coffee
yedam begins to laugh alongside with you. “i’m probably going to write some songs.”
you mouth falls wide open as you gasp. “you write songs? you should write a song about me!” you playfully nudge him in the arm. “i’m just kidding.”
before yedam could say anything in response, the cashier cuts him off, “the total is $5.25.”
as you pull out your wallet, yedam slams the exact total onto the counter, grabs his drink and proceeds to walk out of the store
“hey!” you scream out loud as you retrieve your snacks. “i said that i was going to pay.”
“my treat?”
“fine, but just so you know, i’m paying next time.” you stubbornly say. “should we get going?”
“my house is actually this way.” yedam points towards the opposite way from your direction
his house isnt actually that way but its now the nearest way he can take to get back home bc he lied to you and said he lived in the area when really he lives on the other side
“ah, i see.” you bring your hand up to cheerfully wave him goodbye. “i’ll see you tomorrow then! (✿◠‿◠)”
yedam did the same in return and mimicked your wave goodbye, smiling at you one last time before he walked down the pathway
the two of you were now out of one another’s eye sight
while yedam was walking back home, he suddenly stopped himself, squatted down and covered his face with the palm of his hands as he screamed out into the void,
“I FORGOT MY NOTEBOOK”
“oh my god.” you stood in front of your bed, wondering why you had two of the same notebook
one of the notebooks must be yours, but who’s notebook was the other way?
was it yoonbin’s?
no, you remembered he didn’t have anything with him when you saw him during lunch
was it keita’s?
it can’t be because all of keita’s notebooks were all neon pink
you opened the mystical notebook and found ‘bang yedam’ written on the very first page
you fell directly onto your knees and clenched tightly onto yedam’s notebook. “right when i thought things were going well- he’s going to accuse me of stealing his notebook and hate me foR THE REST OF HIS LIFE”
for some reason, you were so curious as to what yedam has in his notebook
did he use his notebook for notes just like you?
or did he use it for something completely different?
curiosity was running through your head and eventually took over you
if yedam is going to hate you in the future then might as well snoop into his notebook since ur already losing ya’know
when you opened his notebook, you found that each page was filled with endless writings
you came to a conclusion that they were all self composed song lyrics, made by the one and only bang yedam, since he did mention that he likes writing songs on his free time
as you read each page, you became totally immersed in the whole thing as you viewed each of his lyrics as brilliant
in no time
you found a page where the title had your name written on top
“huh?” you blurted out when your eyes laid upon your name written in yedam’s handwriting. “is this about me?”
you had discovered that yedam had wrote a song about you
the following song described the wall between you two, that yedam wished he had the power to take down, but simply doesn’t, so he’ll just continue to admire you from afar
tldr: it’s a song about him having a crush on you
“does??? yedam??? have a crush??? on me???”
of course you dense egg head
your heart began to pound, but you decided that it was time for you to end this spying as you close his notebook and store it back into your backpack
you had felt like you were invading his privacy and inner thoughts
but at the same time
you actually quite enjoyed it
the very next day, yedam and you were both uneasy, due to different reasons
you were afraid that yedam would hate you and accuse you of stealing (when really you accidentally grabbed it by mistake)
on the other hand, yedam was afraid that you read his song dedicated to you (revealing his hidden crush for you)
when you arrived to class, you quietly sat in your seat and slid yedam’s notebook towards his side of the desk
the first thing that escaped your mouth was, “i’m sorry.”
yedam’s hands became unsteady as he gulped in excessive saliva. “did you happen to read it?” he confusingly asks, grabbing a hold of his notebook
“yeah, i’m sorry.” you repeat yourself, not adding anything more into your sentence
this was it
yedam had thought you were saying sorry because this was your way of politely rejecting him
but actually ! ! !
you were apologizing because you were truly sorry for taking and reading his prized possession
“i see.” yedam mutters underneath his breath, avoiding your eye contact
he didn’t have the guts to even breathe in the same air as you
“yedam,” you follow up, closing the space in between you two as you scoot your seat closer to him. “are you free this saturday?”
#i hate writing titles because I SUCK ASS#yedam#bang yedam#yedam scenario#yedam scenarios#yedam imagine#yedam imagines#ygtb#yg treasure box#yg treasure box scenario#yg treasure box scenarios#yg treasure box imagine#yg treasure box imagines#ygtb imagine#ygtb scenario#bang yedam scenario#bang yedam imagine
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ANSWER ALL THEM YOU BITCH👩💻🤪
Ooh she's getting fiesty 😈😂 here you are, love ❤
1. What is your preferred place to write?
Laptop/computer, but since I dont have either anymore, my phone is my go to
2. When did you start writing?
I think it was 8th grade offically; my english teacher got me into reading and writing so that was the 2013/2014 school year I think
3. Favourite thing to write?
Idk, I like writing gay smut if that counts for something 🤷♀️
4. Fluff or angst?
I'm good at writing fluff but I love reading angsty stuff
6. Where do you usually find inspiration?
Ideas come to me in dreams, otherwise if I'm watching a movie/TV, listening to music, or just seeing something during the day will spark something.
7. Do you listen to music to help you write?
Yes! I would get soooo distracted if I didn't; that way I dont hear anything outside my head and I can focus on my writing (I'm listening to music now as I'm answering these too actually 😂)
8. What's the biggest "challenge" for you as a writer?
Finding time to write at all; I've got so many ideas bopping around in my head but life gets in the way 😭😭
9. Where do you usually go to write?
My room usually; it gives me privacy and a lot less distractions than my living room or outside the house.
10. Can you give us a sneak peek at your current WIP?
Yes!! I love this scene so much so you get to read it again;
My phone buzzed in my hands and I look down to see Sofia's face smiling at me. I pause my music and pull my earbuds out.
"The Kid's calling," I say aloud before answering. "Hey, Fi!"
"Hey yourself, is Steve available? I've got history questions that I need help with and he's not answering his phone."
I roll my eyes but put the phone on speaker. "Steve, Fi needs help with her homework."
"What's up, kiddo?" Steve asks, keeping his eyes on the road.
"Stupid history homework; about the Commandos and I thought, 'what better way to finish this then get it straight from the source, old man," Sofia says. Sam lets out a small laugh and Bucky shifts awkwardly beside me.
"Alright, shoot," Steve says with a shake of his head.
"Original 7 members? I only know 3 of them off hand," Sofia starts.
"Easy, Me, Buck, Dum Dum, Morita, Jones, Monty, and Frenchy," Steve says casually. There's a pause before Sofia's sigh echoes through the car.
"I don't think my teacher would appreciate it if I put their names in as if we were best friends," Sofia says offhandedly.
Steve cleats his throat awkwardly. "Right. Uh, Steve Rogers, James Barnes, Timothy Dugan, Jim Morita, Gabriel Jones, James Montgomery Falsworth, and Jacques Dernier," Steve reiterates after Sofia's let's out little "uh huhs."
"Why were the Howling Commandos formed?" Sofia asks next.
"To eliminate and wipe HYDRA bases off the map; although it seems we weren't very successful," Steve says with a frown and I see his eyes flash towards the rear view mirror, to look at Bucky, I'm assuming.
"Who did the Commandos capture during a raid in the Alps?"
"Arnim Zola."
There was a pause and I couldn't help but look over at Bucky who almost looked startled that he had spoken.
"Who was that?" Sofia asks a moment later.
"Oh, uh, Sofia, that was Bucky," I say, my voice cracking at his name. Sofia stays quiet. I check my phone and see the phone was still connected.
"Bucky?" Sofia asks, sounding doubtful. "As in Stevie's Bucky?"
I feel Bucky almost stiffen in surprise next to me. "Yeah, that would be him," I confirm.
Sofia stays quiet for a few beats again before clearing her throat. "Right, well when do you think you guys are gonna be home? I hate all of this cooking I've gotta do now that you guys are gone, not that either of you were chef's," Sofia complains.
"I'm not sure, kiddo," Steve chirps from in front of me. I lean my elbows onto the front seat and rest my head near his shoulder. "We've got something really important to take care of."
"Okay, well stay safe, and don't do anything stupid; Sam, keep them in line," Sofia says with a laugh.
"Will do, Half Pint," Sam promises.
"Well, I'll talk to you guys later. And it was nice to meet you Bucky," she says.
Bucky doesn't respond, but the rest of us say goodbye before I hang up.
"Thanks, Steve," I say, clapping my hands over Steve's shoulders.
"Anytime; I don't mind helping the kid out," Steve says.
I ruffle Steve's hair before leaning back and laughing. Bucky was looking between Steve and I with confusion written all over his face.
"So the kid?" Bucky asks, his eyes resting on Steve for a moment before looking at me.
"Yeah, she's great," Steve says excitedly and flashes Bucky a smile.
"She's my sister," I say and look down to see Sofia had texted me.
I forgot to ask while on the phone but could you ask Steve if I can look through some of his stuff that the museum let him have back?
"Hey Steve, can she look through the stuff the Smithsonian gave back to you? She didn't say what for though," I ask.
"Yeah, no problem, tell her I've got stuff in the chest at the end of the bed."
"Cool cool, thanks," I say and pass the information onto Sofia.
"Not a problem," Steve says as he takes the off ramp and turns left. "Sharon's just up here," he points out a black car that was pulled over under the bridge.
Steve pulls over and ducks out of the car and greets Sharon with a smile.
Bucky sits up and looks out the front window, eyes flickering across the background, scanning the surrounding area. Bucky's knees hit the back of Sam's seat and he glares at the back of Sam's head.
"Can you move your seat up?" He asks for probably the 100th time this trip, sounding bored.
"No," Sam replies once again.
I roll my eyes and squish myself against the window. "Scoot over here more," I offer, pointing towards the leg room that I've got behind Steve's seat.
"Thanks," Bucky mumbles and scoots over so his arm is pressed against mine. It was quiet while we watched Steve and Sharon talk as she popped her trunk. "So," Bucky starts quietly, trying to exclude Sam from the conversation. "How long have you and Steve been together?"
Sam, of course, hears and snorts out a laugh, having to hold onto the door for support.
I felt my face flush and I reach over the seat to smack Sam across the side of his head. "Shut up, bird brain. Steve and I aren't together though," I say, turning to look at Bucky who looked embarrassed.
"Sorry, I just assumed…" Bucky apologizes.
"Nah, it's okay, everyone apparently thinks the same thing," I say with a shrug. "Steve's like a brother to me. Plus right now he's not swinging this way."
Bucky's eyebrows shoot up as he looks at me with wide eyes. "So like, he's..?"
"Gay? Yeah, basically. He still likes women, but he's actually with my brother, Graham," I say, pulling up a picture of Graham, Steve, Sofia, and I on my phone. Tony insisted on us having more family pictures even though we were the least conventional family on the planet.
"So being… a homosexual," Bucky says, almost sounding like the term was weird coming off his tongue. "That's openly okay now? I don't mind, but the 30s really pressed people down, so I didn't think Steve… at least I think, from what I remember," Bucky trails off and looks out to see Steve giving Sharon a hug before grabbing the gear from the trunk.
"He was hard on himself at first," I say, remembering how weird Steve would act whenever Graham would say something to try and test the waters. "I think knowing and befriending Graham really helped him a lot, seeing that it's not a mental illness, that you wouldn't be imprisoned or institutionalized for it."
Bucky still looks at Steve, but there was a small smile crooked at the corner of his mouth and his eyes seemed fond.
"I'm happy for him," is all Bucky says in reply.
"So am I," I say, patting Bucky's forearm with my hand. "So am I."
11. How many stories have you written so far?
Well I've only ever completed 1, (excluding oneshots) but I've got... at leave 7 going, a few that I've discontinued, and a shit ton of ideas that haven't been written yet 😂
12. What's your favourite thing that you ever wrote?
Well I'm honestly so proud of my Beauty and the Beast Lashton fanfic that I wrote and the only one I've ever finished. But I'm also sooo proud of 2 WIPs that I'm writing with the lovely asker
13. How many chapters does your longest series have?
I dont have any series yet, but my longest fic has like 200,000 words and no distinctive chapters yet (writing specific scenes then gluing them together)
14. What's your favourite character/person to write for?
I only really write Lashton or Stucky but I'm my cowritten books I have an OC be with Ashton Irwin and Bucky Barnes because DAMN they are kweens
15. "OCs" or "Reader" inserts?
I personally like writing OCs but I've been getting into readers lately
16. Can you tell us anything about your current WIP?
I suppose, but asker already knows since she's helping me write it 😂 it's a Marvel fic about these two girls and their brother who lose their parents in the Battle of New York in 2012. Brother is working for Stark Industries already when Steve asks my OC to join the Avengers but my OC and her brother keep that a secret from their younger sister (my friends OC). That's enough for now tho 😘
17. How long was the longest fic you ever wrote?
Question 13 kinda answered this question but its 200,000ish and growing
18. What fandoms do you write for?
Marvel and 5sos mainly, but I used to do Supernatural back in like 2015/2016. I also dabble in Shadowhunter stuff too
19. What is/are your favourite fandom author/authors?
Well the asker is such an amazing writer I love her work, um, @Larry_Lashton on Wattpad is good, @moonstruckbucky and @sunmoonandbucky are phenomenal
20. Have you ever written an AU?
That's basically all I write; I've only got one original piece and not many are real to whatever reality.
21. What is your favourite AU trope?
I have a weakness for Professor Seb/Bucky and I love stucky (and StuckyxReaders) so if you know of any hmu 😉
22. A fanfiction trope you can't help but love?
ENEMIES TO LOVERS FUCK
23. For how long have you been a fandom writer?
Shortly after I started writing, so like 2015?
24. Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it?
Absolutely! I usually loosely plot out the whole thing and try and hit the main points but by like... 1/4 or 1/2 way through depending on how long it is I'm like fuck I totally forgot I was going to add that (and by then it wouldn't make sense to add it in)
25. What do you do to motivate yourself to write?
Listen to music, but I also read what I've got to help myself get back into the flow of the story.
26. How did you find out you like to write?
Like I said it was 8th grade and my english teacher showed me this new side of reading that I didnt know about and then I was like fuck I can do this too!
27. Are there any writers (fanfiction writers or not) that have inspired you to start writing?
Well I used to only read the Twilight series, but then I read Cassandra Clare's books, and the it sorta branched out from there, so Stephanie Meyer and Cassandra Clare are who you should thank for that 😂
28. What's your favourite fandom to write for?
Does Stucky count as it's own fandom? Because that ship sails itself man #ExceptEndgame #FuckingSucked
29. Describe your style in three words.
Um... smutty... gay.... fluffy?
30. What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written?
Well I've got one on Wattpad with almost 20k but it's a continuation of a story that has like 300k, otherwise most of my other ones on there have 4k actually.
31. Blurbs or drabbles?
Both are great, dudes 🤷♀️
32. Have you ever written smut?
33. How long does it usually take you to write?
Used to be I could get like 20 chapters (decently long ones too) in about 8 months but now I'm not really posting anything and I'm slowly working on a current WIP
34. What's your favourite font to use when writing?
Ariel, size 11, 1.15 line spacing. Veranda is a nice font too though
35. What do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics?
I like long ones man; but I either write forever long ones or oneshots 😂
36. How do you keep yourself inspired? Seeing new things, listening to new music. Sleeping?
37. Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted it anyway?
I don't think so. I mean I've posted stuff that I wasn't excited about, but I don't think I've ever hated anything I've written
38. What's your "strong suit" as a writer?
My OCD with punctuation and formatting?
39. What's your favourite trope?
Friends who are oblivious to the other persons feelings so they dont ever make a move until they're drunk 🤷♀️ *40s Stucky bonus*
40. How many likes does your fics usually get?
300 for 4k reads on Wattpad
41. Have you ever used a prompt?
Absolutely! Sometimes you just need a little help and there ain't nothing wrong with that!
42. What is your weakness as a writer?
I am obsessed with the small details that nobody cares about (especially height comparisons) but I think that comes from my artistical side.
43. Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you wrote?
Oh absolutely, all the fucking time!
44. Have you ever done a collab with another writer?
Yes! Only 1 other writer who is also the asker 😘😘
45. One thing you love about fanfiction?
I think it's an amazing thing to write because people already have deep connections with the characters so you dont have to waste the first part telling their story (unless it's an AU, but even then it's totally okay to just jump right into it!)
46. What's your favourite emotion to cause your readers?
I definitely enjoy leaving them on the edge of their seats, but I also love writing fluffy scenes that make peoples hearts flutter
47. What's your favourite thing about writing?
The creativity and ability to create a reality! There's endless possibilities and that's so fascinating and amazing to me
48. Do you post your writing on other platforms? I only post on Wattpad, but I have thought about posting things on tumblr too! Thoughts?
49. What app/apps do you use to write?
Either google docs or just in Wattpad itself
50. One thing you don't like about fanfiction?
Some people get the characters totally wrong personality wise and that sorta bugs me when reading because I get confused
51. Least favourite trope?
Coffee shop AUs are a little boring unless somebody brings something new to the table (like one of them is a vampire or witch or single parent instead of just like OH this barista/customer is cute). But if I come across a coffee shop AU I'm not going to NOT read it, you know?
52. Favourite words to use when writing?
No? I mean I know everyone's writing is different and unique to the person but I don't think I have any favourites.
53. Least favourite words?
When writing straight smut I get uncomfortable with certain words people use to describe the female anatomy other then that no 🤷♀️
54. Do you usually like what you write?
Yeah! And if I don't, I'll change it until I like it before posting it 😂
thank you @scaryaryanna for the lovely ask and thank you to anybody who stuck around to read everything ❤❤❤❤❤
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The Good Life: Chapter 5
Hello, my lovelies! Another week, another chapter of this story. I don’t really have too much to say before this chapter, so I suppose I’ll just get right to it.
Need to get caught up? The Good Life: Ch1, Ch2, Ch3, Ch4
If you want to be added (or removed) from the tags list for this story, just feel free to let me know!
@pink-royaute @believethaticanandiwill @milllott @likeashootingstarfades @i-dream-of-emus
The Good Life: Chapter 5
The bell to the lift chimed as the metal doors slowly slid open, signaling that they had reached their desired floor, and Finn stepped aside to allow Rae to walk out first.
“I still can’t believe that we’re on the fifth floor of the building!” Rae mused as she looked over the railing outside of the lift that overlooked one of the busy city streets.
“It’s a good thing neither of us are scared of heights, huh?” Finn joked as he adjusted his grip on the large box he was carrying in his arms.
Finn and Rae turned left after exiting the hallway with the lift, already becoming familiar with navigating the building after following the same path numerous times.
When Finn stopped in front of one of the doors, he turned to look at Rae, who was lagging behind slightly as she walked leisurely to take in the view from the top floor of the building.
“Do you have the keys, Finn, or do I?”
“I do, but I can’t get to them with this box,” Finn replied.
“Do ya want me to take the box from you?”
“No, it’s pretty heavy,” Finn replied with a slight grunt as he adjusted his grip on the box to prove his point, “but can you get the keys out of my pocket?”
“Er, sure...which pocket?”
“Back left pocket of my jeans,” Finn said as he angled his body towards her so she could easily reach his pocket.
“Alright,” Rae replied as she hesitantly reached her hand into the pocket of Finn’s jeans to grab the set of keys.
“Uh, sorry,” Finn replied sheepishly when Rae pulled the keys out of his pocket and it elicited an unexpected giggle from him, “that tickled more than I expected.”
Rae laughed and shook her head, but stepped in front of Finn to unlock the door and allow him to walk inside first.
Once inside the door, Finn walked into the large open space that would eventually resemble a living room and placed the box he was carrying beside the other tall stacks of boxes.
“Was that the last box?” Finn asked over his shoulder as he restacked some of the boxes to reduce some of the clutter.
“Indeed! Who knew that between the two of us, we’d have so much stuff?” Rae asked with a laugh as she looked around the room at dozens of cardboard boxes that had been piled haphazardly around the room.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m very proud of how efficient we were today. We got all your stuff and my stuff packed into the moving truck and got it all brought up to the apartment all in a matter of hours!”
“That’s pretty impressive! We make a good team, huh?” Rae asked as she walked to stand beside Finn and bumped his hip with hers playfully.
“We absolutely do,” Finn replied as he wrapped an arm around Rae’s shoulders and pulled her slightly closer, “I think we deserve to reward our hard work. We should order some takeaway since we have no food here yet and then after we’ve eaten if we feel up to it, we can start unpacking boxes. What do you think about that?”
“I think it’s a great idea. I’ll order and you can go pick it up, if that’s alright with you? What do you want to eat?”
“Of course! I don’t have a preference, I’m just starving and would like a lot of food,” Finn added with a smile as he walked away.
Rae called in their takeaway order while Finn reorganized the boxes against the perimeter of the room to ensure that they had a clear path to walk around without tripping.
“Alright, our order should be ready in less than half an hour. I ordered from the Chinese restaurant just down the street because their online reviews looked really good. I hope that’s alright with you.”
“It’s great, thank you. I’ll leave to go pick it up as soon as I find my keys again,” Finn replied with a nervous chuckle.
“Your keys are on the kitchen counter,” Rae replied with a fond smile at Finn’s forgetfulness, “Do you want me to try to find some plates and utensils in one of these boxes while you’re gone?”
“Yeah, that’d be great!”
Once Finn grabbed his keys, wallet, and phone off of the counter where he had left them, he left to go pick up their takeaway order.
Rae searched through the stacks of boxes trying to find whatever she thought Finn and she would need to eat their takeaway and before long she heard the door unlock and Finn walking through the door.
“Sorry if I took longer than you expected. I, uh, wanted to--what is this?”
Rae beamed with pride at the look of surprise on Finn’s face when he walked into the living room to see a small lamp on top of a short stack of boxes to subtly light the room as well as a pile of pillows and blankets strategically arranged to make the floor more comfortable to sit on, since the couch they had bought online wouldn’t be delivered until next weekend.
“I was looking for the boxes with dishes in them and I got a little carried away,” Rae replied with a shrug as she walked up to take the bags of food from Finn.
“Well it looks great! I thought it seemed appropriate that we mark the occasion today with a drink,” Finn replied as he pulled a pack of beer from one of the bags Rae had placed on the kitchen counter, “so I picked this up too. I know it’s not champagne or anything fancy, but...”
“Don’t worry about it. Champagne is disgusting anyways,” Rae replied with a chuckle as she continued unpacking the bags of takeaway containers onto the counter.
“We can go ahead and serve ourselves food and then I also have my laptop here if you wanted to watch something or listen to music while we eat.”
“I don’t feel like paying close attention to anything, so maybe we can just put on some music?” Rae suggested.
After they had served themselves plates full of various entrees, noodles, and sautéed vegetables, Rae sat down on the pile of pillows and blankets as Finn grabbed his laptop to put on one of his many playlists to listen to in the background.
“It’s crazy to think how quickly everything has moved. I mean, less than a month ago I was panicking about how I was going to find a roommate and a little over a week ago we were barely starting to tour potential apartment!” Rae mused as she ate.
“No kidding! If you’d told me over a month ago that I would have moved out of my Da’s house and be living with you, I wouldn’t ever believe it,”
“Oh wow! Thanks, Finn!” Rae scoffed.
“That’s not what I meant! I just meant that I wasn’t serious about moving out until I found out how badly you needed to find a roommate. Even when I first suggested it, it was just a spur of the moment kind of thing. I couldn’t even fathom why you had agreed to be my roommate, if I’m being honest.”
“Well I’m glad that this whole thing worked out as well as it has so far!”
“Me too, Rae!” Finn replied as he lifted his can of beer into the air in cheers.
The pair continued eating and talking until both were completely stuffed and pleasantly buzzed on cheap beer.
“Wow,” Rae began after a long yawn, “I’m so exhausted!”
“I know what you mean! After lifting all those boxes, I’m sure both our arms are gonna be sore tomorrow.”
Rae leaned over to place both of their now-empty plates on top of one of the nearby boxes. When she sat back, Rae angled her body so she was leaning into Finn’s side.
She looked over at him, silently asking if that was okay, and while he looked a bit surprised, he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around her in a loose embrace.
“I don’t want to unpack boxes tonight. I have the day off of work tomorrow as well, so I’ll unpack tomorrow while you’re at work.”
“I can’t let you unpack everything alone! I’ll play hooky from work and stay here to unpack with you,” Finn replied.
“You don’t have to!”
“No, but I want to.”
“Alright,” Rae replied with a small smile as she allowed her eyes to slowly drift shut as they continued talking and listening to music.
When Finn stood from the ground and grabbed the dirty dishes to wash, he looked back to see Rae curled up on the pile of blankets, scrolling through her phone.
“Did you want another beer before I put them in the fridge?” Finn asked from the kitchen after he had finished washing their dishes and setting them aside to dry.
When he did not get a response, Finn walked out into the living room and was surprised to see Rae asleep on the pile of blankets, snoring lightly.
Finn chuckled quietly, walking back into the kitchen only long enough to turn off the light and returned to the living room.
Finn grabbed Rae’s phone from beside her face where she was laying down and set it on the box closest to her so she could easily find it in the morning.
With all of their larger furniture being delivered over the next week, Finn and Rae had already determined that they would be sleeping on the floor for the foreseeable future, so Finn simply unfolded one of the blankets that Rae was not laying on top of and covered her up with it. Finn considered his options for just a moment before shrugging and laying down on the pile of blankets and pillows in the space beside Rae and allowed the dizzying combination of exertion and excitement to lull him into a state of much needed sleep.
A/N: Yay! Move-in day is over and Finn and Rae are OFFICIALLY roommates! I know this point took a while to build up to, so I made a point to make this chapter extra cute and show how quickly Rae and Finn are getting used to the idea of living together and how adorably domestic these two idiots are even though they’ve only lived together less than a day.
The cuteness has only just begun and even just based on the chapters that I’ve already written or mapped out, there is a lot of fun shenanigans in the upcoming chapters. I know the last couple chapters have been super dialogue-heavy between Rae and Finn (idk how y’all feel about this...I LOVE to read/write dialogue-heavy stuff, but it may not be everyone’s cup of tea), but in the future chapters I’m bringing the gang back and we’ll get to see how the gang feels about the Rae/Finn living situation now that more time has passed.
Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter and as always: Stay awesome, my friends! :)
#mmfd#my mad fat diary#mmfd fanfic#my mad fat diary fanfiction#My writing#finn-nelson-for-the-win#the good life: ch5#quick shout out to me for keeping up my posting on a regular basis!#not trying to jinx myself but I feel like i've got my writing groove back a little bit!
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Rewrite challenge: #10 and #19
#10 The Black Cauldron
Oh poor, poor Black Cauldron. All the “lackluster” Disney films (besides Chicken Little, that one sucks) I feel sad. Katzenberg vivisecting the film didn’t help matters, but the big problem is the world building in my eye.
Prydain feels so underpopulated in the film. I don’t remember any locations with humans in it that weren’t Horned King’s castle or the farm where Taran lives. This is a fantasy world! Where is everybody!? The world building affects our characters too because we don’t know anything about them besides them being a hero or a villain.
The Horned King is in DESPERATE need of a backstory. I’m not too big on Lord of the Rings, but I know that Sauron is connected to the One Ring which is why he’s trying to get it back and we have a pretty good idea what will happen if he gets it back and why everyone else wants it for there own. The motives the Horned King has for finding the Black Cauldron are clear: he wants to bring back an army of the dead…but…why? To rule? To fight? He mentions in the end that his army is moments away from victory. Is he just out to start a zombie apocalypse? What will having an army of the dead accomplish for him? Where’s the profit? Was this somehow explained in the book better? I don’t think so since from what I’ve read the Horned King is a composite character of two villains from the books.
My friend Amelia has the right idea of making Horned King tied to Prydain’s history. My version is a bit though. I’d rewrite the story so that he is the “dead” king whom Taran’s sword once belonged to. He sought out the Black Cauldron but it backfired and he now seeks it to bring back the army that he killed and rule again. After what’s probably been hundreds of years of exposure to black magic, he’s basically rotted from the inside out and his sanity has gone, as he’s now under the delirious impression that Prydain is just waiting to have it’s ruler back when in reality the country has moved on.
That’s another thing too! Is Prydain under-populated because of a war or something, one not specifically tied to the Horned King? That would be interesting. The rest of the world fears The Horned King of course but they don’t consider him much of a threat to their needs. Taran can be one of those people who’s more interested in being a soldier than an apprentice and pig keeper. Maybe the Horned-King-before-he-was-Horned-King started a war or conflict of it’s own centuries past and Taran and co. don’t find out until later.
You had the chance to make the Horned King a real bawss of a villain. Not a sympathetic one, just one with clearer motives and a horrible history. He could be like Sauron/Golem/The White Walkers all together but instead he’s just “the guy who’s gonna use this thing to do this other thing”.
But Horned King is at least interesting. Taran and Eilonwy are boring and it has nothing to do with them being clichéd good-guy hero kids (though I admit, a Black Cauldron starring Fflewddur does sound more unique). I kinda though Taran was gonna be more interesting cause when the film starts he’s all like “yeah I wanna fight the Horned King and be a hero” but the minute Hen-wen is stolen he remembers that he’s just a scared boy. When he finds himself in the Horned King’s castle and has to make Hen-wen use her vision he’s immediately like “I wanna go home nevermind!” I think it’d be more interesting if, once Hen-wen was safe, he was like “fts I’m going home” and wanted to nothing to do with the Horned King or the Black Cauldron but gets roped back in because Gurgi guilt trips him or something. Make him a reluctant hero who looses his wide-eyed wonder of the world but gains real confidence and strength. When he’s about to sacrifice himself to the cauldron it’s not really earned. It feels like he’s doing it because…he’s the hero.
Much as I hate Doug Walker now I remember his Disneycember from way back when mentioning how Eilonwy is a princess but of a kingdom we never see. We should really see that kingdom. There are two ways you could go with this: Make her an actual scullery maid disguised as a princess as a decoy to escort the weird light-thing away from Horned King, since that’s why he captured her in the first place – much like how Taran got roped into all this with Hen-wen; or make her the princess of Prydain and connect her with the going’s on of the outside world that don’t involve the Horned King. Like Taran, she’s also just looking to safely get away, expect once she learns of the Horned King’s whole plan and knows there’s gonna be casualties, she’s all “we gotta stop him!” and springs into action.
In both cases I think she could be a little more feisty – pissed and rage driven to be kidnapped or held prisoner for something that doesn’t even involve her. Make her a no-nonsense girl who has less tolerance for Gurgi and Fflewddur than Taran. Maybe she’s the one whose all like ‘Ima jump in the cauldron’ in the endbut Taran stops her and reminds her that she, like him, is just a kid. Also make her ball of light more connected to the overall story and world of Prydain as well. Something needs to be done with her because, as is, you can cut her out of the movie and nothing would be lost.
Also fix Gurgi’s voice. He’d be a fine character if he weren’t so hard to understand.
…that’s all I got! If it isn’t obvious I haven’t read the Prydain books to know what stuff apparently HAD to stay in despite the filmmakers already taking liberties with the source material. I don’t think I’m the right person to revamp this one as outside of Game of Thrones and Star Wars (it counts) I’m not a fan of high-end Euro-centric fantasy stories. If the movie is being remade than it better be done by someone who knows, likes, and is talented within that genre. Hire the Game of Thrones folks or someone who’s not Peter Jackson cause Peter Jackson’s lost his mind. IDK. Let poor Black Cauldron spread its wings and find it’s home rather than being a victim of cuts from a studio going through growing pains.
#19 The Book of Henry
If you’ve seen Folding Ideas video on it, you’ll know how much of a mary-sue Henry is and how badly this movie handles themes, tone, and morals. It seems like a fanfic written by a future rampage killer who doesn’t understand what about Henry’s actions are “bad”, and how NO ONE in the world has the solution to the problem except him. In a good movie, someone resorting to killing a child-predator as the only option could make a good story - it just has to have a little thing called consequences to it! No story that has implied child rape in it ends with happy goody-goody Butterfly #1 cliffnotes.
While I don’t watch him anymore, I remember Brad Jones made a really good point in his Midnight Screenings of that movie. That being: what if Henry was wrong about Glen, the adopted father. What if this was a misunderstanding and this kid was a psychopath. It would make for a good purposeful tonal whiplash. So here’s my rewrite:
Henry is the eldest, favorite child of a hands-off single mother Susan. Henry prides himself on the lie Susan tells him that he is the real provider of the house. He is mean to Susan (who takes it and says she deserves it) and lonely school cause his attitude isolates him from peers - though he thinks he’s too good for them anyway. Henry begins to grow interested in his teenage neighbor Christina after he hears her screaming in the middle of the night. He comes to believe that her step-father, Glen, is abusing Christina. He stalks the two of them and writes hundreds of notes and tapes about their house and his understanding of their living situation - that Christina’s mother is out of state and Glen is a kind of passive aggressive police chief who doesn’t get along with Christina in public.
Then Henry dies. Not by a tumor. In a freak accident.
Susan goes mad with grief while her remaining son Peter tries to cheer her up. She comes across Henry’s many notes on Glen and Christina. Susan does her own investigation and comes to the same conclusion that Henry did about Christina being abused and, through misguided encouragement from Peter, decides to kill Glen like Henry intended to do.
Glen meanwhile tries to be a good neighbor by helping the grieving Susan anyway he can. He allows her to watch Christina while he’s at work. Susan, Peter, and Christina bond it up while Susan uses their visits to plan out Glen’s murder. Christina begins to feel more confident and comfortable with herself and even agrees to drive Peter to his school talent show. That same night, Glen is home alone after a long week of work and is unaware that Susan is setting up a sniper riffle from her porch. Before she can shoot, however, Christina comes home and stops Susan in the nick of time. Glen comes out when he hears the scuffle and Susan screams about all the evidence she and Henry have stacked up against Glen and what she was going to do. Distraught, Christina runs inside crying. Glen calls the police on Susan for attempted murder and assault on a minor. As they wait for the cops, Glen tells Susan the real story Henry was not privy to:
Christina was abused - by her biological father, whom her mother is currently battling in a nasty court case. Glen has been left to care for the traumatized Christina. What Henry thought was rape one night was actually Christina having an episode in which she almost killed herself before Glen got home and stopped her. Glen fully admits to not knowing how to take care of children and that Christina wears him out, but chastises Susan for trying to “save” Christina without doing the right thing and contacting child protective services. Susan, looking deeper into Henry’s notes, finds that Henry disliked Glen after he pulled him over one night for walking alone to the grocery store - Henry was channeling his desire to kill Glen through this false-fantasy of saving Christina.
Susan goes to jail. At the court house Christina calls Susan out for only caring about her because of Henry and trivializing her abuse as a means to kill her Step-dad. She even testifies against Susan in court showing her newfound confidence and will to get through life and confesses to Glen that she’s almost grateful to Susan for inexplicably helping her heal. She also pities Susan, who now has to live with the fact that she loved Henry as an ideal son and not for what he actually was - a trait that probably led to Henry’s sociopathic behavior. Christina wishes Peter well as he’s taken into foster care and promises him that things will get better.
#I'm a bad writer giving writing advice NYAAAH#rewrite challenge#the black cauldron#the book of henry
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For the identity ask thing: 2, 6, 15 :)
2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?
Uhhhh…hmm. I think there’s a reason I’ve lived on a steady diet of Terry Pratchett since I first read Reaper Man at age ten. But then, the very fact I start reading him young could mean that he influence the way I thought, rather than just resonating with how I thought already. Either way, a pretty bloody good worldview to identify with.
I also have to shout out to @summeringminor here; we might differ in the odd Jim Moriarty headcanon, but we’re both pretty much here for the beauty of pain and suffering. :D
6. are you religious/spiritual?
In a word…yeah. I guess. I would not call myself religious at all, though I grew up going to church most weeks. The older I’ve got, the more anti-organised religion I’ve become. Hard not to be, when you start seeing the things people do and say while using God as an excuse. But I also can’t deny that I’ve known many, many wonderful people who are religious and use that faith to do great, helpful, caring things. I will also never tell anyone they’re wrong to believe what they believe, as long as they’re not hurting anyone else with those beliefs.
As for me, personally - well, I’m not an aetheist, lets put it that way. It’s complicated, in that no one ever really knows, but really simple in that I have no trouble believing in a higher power. And it may just be humans and our collective power, but if so there’s no truer God than that.
15. five most influential books over your lifetime.
…oh man. What a question. GAH.
Okay, well, I’m just going to pick five that have stood out at different points in my life because otherwise I will have a shortlist of hundreds.
Good Omens - Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.
I must have read this a dozen times when I was a teenager. I used to get to the end of it, then go right back and start it over again. I think it was the first book that made me think about religion, and the way it is in the world. I think I was about eleven when I read it first, which was also the age I was both confirmed, and stopped going to church. Reading Good Omens made me think about religion outside the confines of organised religion, and massively expanded my horizons.
It - Stephen King.
I was also a teenager when I read this. I think books are usually the most influential when you’re that age, probably? Anyway, I think I was thirteen. There had been lots of books - every book, practically; I used to read one a day - that I just couldn’t stop until I’d finished. But this is the first one I clearly remember not wanting to finish. It scared the everloving shit out of me, but it sucked me into a world that was so fully realised, both on the page and in my head, that I just couldn’t get out of it. That was the first horror book I read, the first Stephen King, and it opened my eyes to a whole new kind of fiction. I’d read a multitude of kid’s books, and Enid Blyton, and I’ve mentioned my early love of Terry Pratchett. I’d also devoured a good chunk of the classics by that age (I counted Far From the Madding Crowd as my favourite book) - but this was something new. I read a ton of SK after that, but none quite held the magic of It.
Unnamed kid’s story/author unknown
Okay, so, in primary school you get set reading books for your age, et cetera, and when you get through those you’re allowed to be a ‘free reader’ - or that’s how it was when I was that age, idk. So anyway, I blazed through all the set stuff, and once I had the freedom of the library, I picked up this random book of short stories one afternoon. They were age-appropriate, of course, and this one story was about a group of kids who built their own go-karts, and had a massive race with them. Maybe once a year, maybe more often, idk. So of course, there was one kid who was better than all of them, won every time, built his own kart and no one could beat him et cetera. I strapped in for the usual kid’s fare of a new pretender showing up, and either taking the crown, or this kid - who I think was called Billy - overcoming the odds to win again. It was told from the POV of another kid, who also raced but couldn’t touch Billy. And Billy seemed like a decent guy, he wasn’t a bully or anything.
So anyway, blah blah, they built their karts, they had the race. All was as expected. And then…a car showed up. Billy and New Pretender were neck and neck at the finish line, everyone’s screaming and cheering, and…Billy crashes into the car. God, I can still remember my shock, and how I jumped from ‘this is exciting, but normal’ to ‘omg, wtf is happening.’ But I also remember thinking, ‘but he won, and he’ll be fine.’ And the reason I remember it all so clearly is because…well, here’s Billy’s final words. ‘No, I didn’t. I lost.’
Someone told him that he won the race. But he didn’t, and then he hit the car, and then he died. And he died knowing he’d been beaten.
Like…I was young when I read this, about eight. Maybe younger. The notion that the focus of a story could not win and then actually die…I was not prepared for that. It stuck with me as the first real idea that things don’t always turn out the way you think. Good guys don’t always win, you don’t always achieve the things you think you will. A pretty hard lesson for a primary schooler, but it made me think about things in a different way from then on.
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - Robert M. Pirsig
Moving on from childhood…this book. Fuck, man, this book. I was 21 or 22 when I read it, and I‘m not even going to talk too much about about it because I can’t remember the details. There’s too much in it to try and explain anyway. But I remember reading it because my best mate recced it, and it didn’t seem very promising at first. And then I got sucked in, and I just could not stop. It’s semi-autobiographical, it’s about a road trip a man is taking with his son, it’s all about philosophy and self, and then mental illness, and…God. There wasn’t a single page that didn’t make me think. It made me start a course in philosophy. It was just a wonderful experience from start to finish, and I’ve never read it since because I don’t want to break that magic. But I will read it again. I’m going to find free time, and indulge myself fully. It was just that good.
sdlfkj I really can’t pick a fifth and I’m rambling on forever, so I’m going to go for a really simple and obvious choice.
The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkein
My dad gave my sister a copy of this when I was ten, and she was thirteen. I remember thinking how grown up it looked because it was all black and had a dragon on the front. By the time I was twelve I had nicked it off her bookshelf, and I don’t think she ever got it back. It’s another one I read endlessly through my teen years, and it was influential because it my first introduction to that type of fantasy. I couldn’t tell you exactly why Tolkein’s fantasy feels different to Pratchett’s - maybe it’s just more Old Worlde, and of course the writing style is more old-fashioned. It just felt more highbrow, less ‘fun’, but just as enjoyable. It was like travelling back in time, as well as to a different world. I massively preferred the Discworld to Middle Earth - and still do - but I remember loving The Hobbit for its introduction to something I’d never come across before. And when I wrote my first fantasy story when I was about fifteen, it was a perfectly terrible mish-mash of pterry’s satirical style and Tolkien’s highbrow backdrop (and I am serious when I say it was terrible. It was terrible). But any time I think of books that have influenced me and what I like, what I use as a touchstone, what I think of fondly - The Hobbit is always among the first that springs to mind.
(I re-read it a couple of years ago, and was struck by how simplistic and childlike it seemed. Inevitable, given I’m so much older and have read so much more now. But it doesn’t diminish the fond memories I have of that first love for it.)
I AM SORRY FOR RAMBLING ON FOREVER. Me and books, idk. But thanks for the ask. :)
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idol!you and lucas
request: please do a bullet scenario about lucas and his gf both being sm idols - anon
word count: 2.6k
a/n: first of all,,,, this gif hurts me badly, seCOND OF ALL im so sorry for the inactivity !! I have finals this week and I graduate really soon n ive just been v busy !!! also I had hella writers block trying to finish this ish up but I hope u like it anon !!!!its a lil hard for me to write as an idol just because thats such a Wildt lifestyle but I did my best ily
warnings: cursing n also some crying because god knows all of our boys prolly have during their idol days :(((((((
what’s up butter cup
let’s dive tf in
as a pre-warning thingy i’m making you a singer so i’m very sorry if you can’t sing i can’t either bby
alright so this story begins when you’re not even 16 years old and you audition for a bunch of companies
tbh you didn’t think you were /that/ good at singing or dancing but ???
all the companies wanted you??? you got offers from JYP and SM and Pledis ????? go off queen
we stan
anyways
you decide to go with SM since they produced leGENDS SHINEE
FUCK I LOVE THOSE GUYS
(binch if u went to JYP u literally could have been in TWICE ?!?/&.&. ABSOLUTE LEGENDS UR LOSS THOT)
also because you just think that’ll be best for you ?? idk we don’t judge here (i already did though i’m So Sorry)
on your first day as a trainee you’re in search of the female dorms and you just can’t find them
eventually you run into this,,,, Gang Of Adolescent Boys
they’re wearing dorky ass muscle tees and keep saying shit about “foreign swaggers”
(.... y’all already know who it is sjdkdkd)
and you’re Meek and New and Small so you’re like um, hellowherearethegirlsdormsplease
okay there’s four of them and they’re all fckin huge except for one
the Biggest One with the american accent points you in the right direction and you try to scurry away but end up smacking into the Second Biggest One’s arm because he moved in your way on accident ouchie
“god lucas why don’t you just run the poor girl over”
“hYUNG PLEASE”
“hehehhehe i’m just kiddin”
and you just kind of mumble that it’s fine and go on your way
okay so you train for three yEARS before your debut
and you def come out of your shell alright like you’re Extroverted and whatnot
you still see those boys and even make friends with mark and donghyuck and the Foreign Members
but the entirety of the group you met has debuted except Lucas
you’re not close but you wave and say hi when you see each other
you turn pink everytime from Emotions and also Holding Your Breathe Due To Anxiety
and he was cute years ago but he’s only gotten prettier with age dude
they recently dyed his hair to give him some Blonde Stuff and he looks reaLLY GOOD
LIKE TO THE POINT WHERE U HAVE TROUBLE LOOKING HIM IN THE EYE
but eventually you’re like hey now i’m a grown woman i can handle this giant childish man !!! quit that @ emotions
alright so you debut like, days before him no lie
you’re a solo artist bc idk
red velvet was full 😔🤟
anyways you’ve been filming the video for the past couple weeks and the concept is sort of filmy and shimmery like old sparkly anime water u kno ?
and you’re wearing similar stuff to what ten was wearing in the new heroes mv (BIG OOF) except less warm toned ?
like swishy sort of see through white shirts and spandex underneath
you’re a Beautiful and Skilled dancer so they have u all over the place with this choreo
on the FLOOR on the WALL in the AIR
no joke they had you in a harness doing cool swirly shit in the air this is the stuff of legends my g
but like the inside of SM ? is very cold
if you’re not filming you’re bundled up in a blanket and trying to rub the goosebumps out of your arms and legs
because you have to look all smooth and flawless for filming and those are two things goosies are not
luckily the song wasn’t a huge ballad because it’s rather hard to belt out long ass notes when you’re upside down lmao
anyways, the song is a bop and the mv is beautiful and you are wearing minimal clothing and although these are all nice things but also
RECIPE FOR DISASTER
the filming is almost done thank GOD
you’re taking a break from filming and you go out in the hall in your costume to go get another water bottle because ain’t nobody around to give a pre debut thot a water bottle 🤧🤧
your arms are wrapped around yourself when lucas jogs up behind you and throws his jacket around you??
literally throws it like you made an oof noise
“um ,? thank you that was aggressive”
“i knOw i’m sorry it’s just you are practically naked and it’s Cold in here and also walking behind you i noticed you were Very Exposed sO”
you turn bright red because that means everyone has seen your ass prolly and you duck your head and pull the jacket tighter around yourself
“oh! i’m sorry i mean you look uhh? really good ?? yeah you look good nOT that i was looking super hard or anything or that i uH saw aNything BUt if i did it would look good i’m sure nOT THAT I thInK about that ?$/&/“
and now you’re both blushing very hard but you feel a little better when you see he’s just as flustered as you
you brush your fingers on his forearm to get him to stop staring at the floor and tell him thanks and ask about when he’s debuting
he tells you the mv filming is done since they had to go Real Far Away to do it and get it done ahead of time and that the teasers will be out in three weeks and then the mv release and then its Show Time Baby
you’re excited for him and he’s excited and you debut really soon as well and he’s excited for you and !!!!!
there’s excitement all over the place
he’s smiling so big and his eyes are cute and crinkly and :(((((
you still got a crush on him /sigh/
one of the staff literally yells your name down the hall and you’re like aw shit that’s my cue lol
you leave him with with a lil squeeze of his bicep and you’re BOTH shook
him because ?? was that fLIRTING
you because ?? THAT WAS FLIRTING
also because his biceps are thicc i’m gonna cry
big baby stands there for like 3 mins just shook and with uwus oozing from his pores
you skrt very quickly to avoid the consequences of your actions and get back to filming
okay TIME SKIP
your mv was released and did GOOD AS FUCK
you didn’t hear it from me but lucas + nct boys were seen on vlive jamming the fuck out to your song
you’re backstage like 10 mins from going on and having an absolute panic attack
what if you trip ??? or your voice breaks !!:&::
what if all the reviews say you’re Trash live and that the mv was better since they edited
what if you FLOP AND HAVE NO FANS
NO ONE DOES THE FANCHANTS
FUCK FUXKFUCKFUXKCUDJ
so you do call the king of debuts
mark lee
and you’re like mARK FUCK IM GOING TO CRASH AND BURN PLEAS LLSSE DHELPD ME
he tells you to Calm The Fuck Down and assures you it’ll be fine but it’s not working and mark is but a young boy he don’t know how to deal with FEMALES
you hear some deep ass voice on the other side ask who’s on the phone and mark says your name and then the voice is closer and deMANDING to be given the phone
u already kno it’s our boy yukhei
he can hear you gasping through the phone and having a mental breakdown and immediately makes his voice all low and soft
wow i’m , affected writing this shit
“hey, y/n, listen to me, you’re okay, you’re fine. i promise it’ll be okay.”
“bUT WHAT IF I-“
“you won’t. you’ve worked too hard and practiced too much. i know you i saw you do it. do NOT let all of that go down the drain. you can do this. now get your cute ass out there and take NO SHIT”
“i know but i am, scared”
“don’t be! this is what you love isnt it?”
“i mean,,,, yeah”
“and you want to do this more than anything don’t you?”
“well , yeah”
“then for gods sake don’t be a wimp and do it”
“hey i miss the part of this conversation where you were being nice to me”
“that part’s over babe you need some TOUGH LOVE now please for me and for yourSELF get out there”
“okay.. thanks lucas”
“anything for you, angel”
yOU HANG UP SO QUICK
how dare he
you were all Comforted but then he went on with that angel bullshit
okay long story short you ended the industry dude
all solo artists BOW BEFORE YOU
VOCAL QUEEN
DANCE QUEEN
lucas: shaking because His Angel did so well and you were wearing white and actually looked like an angel
but you don’t see him for the next like twO MONTHS because he’s promoting boss and you’re promoting your single and neither of you are home ever
when you do get a second to yourself you try to send him an encouraging text but
you seldom get a second to yourself :(((
he does the same thing and they’re so sweet :(
“good morning i hope u slept well !!”
“princess don’t forget 2 hydrate”
“i saw ur mnet performance u looked beautiful <333”
this man is practically begging you to wife him up i mean
he’s cute
he’s BIG and WARM
very sweet to you :(
talented and lovely
absolute dweeb
supportive of you even from great distances
BEST BOY UWU
you try to be just as encouraging back because he deserves it UGH
“bub don’t forget to eat i know ur hungry rn”
“!!!!!! you came foR MY LUNGS WITH THAT CENTER DANCE AT THE END BOI”
“why are u sending me messages u need to rest bby :((“
when things calm down though you,, see each other
he doesn’t formally ask you out and you don’t say anything but, youre dating sort of kind of
as idols you’re both still so so busy and you JUST debuted so neither of you are really allowed to date anyways
you settle for little bits of cuddling and secret touches as you pass each other in the hall
you both stand outside of your respective dorms at night to facetime without waking your dorm mates
he desperately wants to go on dates and do Normal Couple things but there’s no time :(
the most affectionate you’ve ever been is when the girl group who shares a dorm with you was out promoting and you had him over and you took a nap together :((((
he Insisted upon being the big spoon and basically wrapped your whole body up with his limbs
pressed a few lil kisses to the back of your neck and your shoulder when he thought you were asleep
you weren’t though and you turned around to kiss him on the cheek and then tuck your face into his neck and pass tf out
he has to leave though because mark texts him and is like YO I KNO UR WITH Y/N AND HER ROOMMATES ARE ON THE WAY HOME
ABORT MISSION DUDE
and that’s pretty much it :(
months pass without much between you even though you’re trying your best
and even though you live in dorms you’re still so lonely especially when you’re traveling because you don’t have any group members
you don’t want to annoy or worry lucas though so you don’t complain
he notices though and late at night he’ll call you while you’re in bed and talk about his day and how he misses you and wishes you were there
and when you get all emo he says he’ll be waiting for you at the airport
(he really does he goes and hides in the bathroom and texts you so you can go in there and TACKLE HIM)
he still calls you angel all the time :((((
god that’s another weakness of mine ??? IM SUCH A WUSS
but it has specifically changed to “my angel”
uwu
your first kiss and first Real Confession happens on the Worst Day Of Your Life
you’re about to go on stage (you’ve released an album since your debut so this is new stuff) when you get a call from your mom ??
she’s crying and tells you your grandma is sick and in the hospital and it’s really bad
immediately you’re barely holding yourself together because that woman half raised you and was the reason you stayed in dance and worked so hard to become who you are today
there are tears streaming down your face already and the makeup team is fluttering around you trying to fix what you’re messing up and it’s bad
you still have to go on though so you go and perform with tears in your eyes and your manager yells at you after for not pulling it together
you go home in tears and then you’re not looking where you’re going and ran straight into a staff who yells at you some more for being some entitled idol brat
originally you weren’t gonna say anything to lucas but, the staff pushed you over the edge and you call him in tears and are incoherent and can barely tell him where you are before you hang up
our boy BURSTS into your room and sees you sitting on the floor with your face buried in your knees and 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 !!
he gathers you in his arms and sits on the bed with you curled up on his lap
he holds you close and rubs a comforting hand up and down your back at the same time as he frantically tries to figure out what’s wrong
“y/n?? baby what’s wrong? angel, please you gotta tell me or i cant help”
“i jjJJUST Got a cALL and my grandMA IS SICK AND THEN I DI D BAD AND DISAPPOINTED EVERYONE AND My mManageR yeYELLED at me and theN I RAN iNtO a staffF meMbEr and he yELled at me too and I JSUT .$:&:&;& i’m sO SORRY u doNT need to deAL WIYH ME you have problems of YouR own and-“
“shhh listen to me i always care about you okay? angel, i want to help you no matter what you know that. also, if you weren’t so distraught i would go beat some SM ass you didn’t deserve to be yelled at :(((( how about we call your mom and check for updates with your grandma and i’ll stay here with you for the night?”
you nod and then reach for your phone while keeping as much physical contact with lucas as possible
he’s the only reason you haven’t reached the Depression Point Of No Return so
we stayin close
you put your mom on speaker and set your phone down before squishing yourself back into his chest and sniffling while the phone rings
your mom answers and you shakily ask for any updates and she tells you not much but your grandma has improved and they think that within a couple weeks she’ll be better
you cry some more and tell her you love them both and you’re so relieved and lucas kisses the crown of your head and is just There For Comforting
once you hang up and you’ve calmed down a little more you back up a little and turn to face him
“hey thank you so much, you didn’t have to come and help me so much but you’ve always been there to make me stop Freaking Out and laugh and i just, love you. yeah that’s what it is. I LOVE YOU I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, WONG YUKHE-“
he cuts you off by snatching your face in his big warm hands and kissing you right on the lips
he then kisses your nose and your forehead and pulls you back into his lap to tuck you under his chin
“it’s all for you, angel ;)))) i love you more”
#me: a connoisseur of shitty endings#uwu im so soft someone call me their angel right now immediately#lucas#wong lucas#wong yukhei#wong xuxi#nct#nct u#nct 2018#nct scenarios#nct scenario#nct fluff#nct u scenarios#nct u fluff#nct 2018 scenarios#yukhei scenarios#yukhei fluff#Lucas scenarios#Lucas fluff
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soft bias tag
okay, its been ages since i did a tag on here!! but my hermanita @hocidi(or hijita now? since you call me mom?) tagged me to do this soft bias tag!
my ult is still minghao, but bc most of this is romantic stuff(and i dont really have a lot of romantic feelings for hao) i’m gonna do my other best boy, seungkwan
Who is your bias: Boo Seungkwan of Seventeen
What made you notice them: I always loved seungkwan, its so funny cause at first i used to be like “oh i wish seungkwan was my twin” and as time went on it was like “yes, seungkwan and i would be best friends we’d be a killer duo” but like...by the time boom boom era came around and he dyed his hair blond the first time? fuck dude, i knew i was in love. very specifically there’s one photo (here) that always comes to mind when i think about first falling head first for him, and well. now he’s my guy.
what’s your favorite thing about them: boy, everything! physically, i love his cheekbones/jaw combo, people really dont pay enough attention to his bone structure. and personality wise, i love his ability to just talk and command all the attention in a room if he wants to,especially because it’s not in a scary, authoritative way, and i feel it makes people comfortable while they also respect him and hold him in high esteem bc of it. I personally have a close relationship with words, so to see the abilities he has with just his everyday speech is...spectacular
who would initiate skinship more: i think both of us, but in different ways? i feel like i would initiate a lot of smaller touches, just so we can be in constant contact, and also id probably spend a lot of time thinking about something before i do it, but i feel like seungkwan would be like hey! let’s hug, and we’d...hug. he’d probably initiate bigger things, like hugging and hand holding, and it’d be more spontaneous for him.
who would hog the blankets more: i don’t really feel cold easily and tend to get warmer as the night goes on, so what might really happen is seungkwan will often wake up buried under all the blankets because i pushed them over to his side in the middle of the night
who would be more clingy: earlier on, it would be him, bc i dont let myself get overly attached to people, but maybe if we spend years together and i get used to him/his constant presence in my life, things might change
who would say I love you first: oooohhh this one’s tricky. if i feel like he’s still sorting through his feelings and commitments, i’ll wait for him to say it first, but if i feel sure about him and where his heart is at, i’ll say it as soon as possible. possibly way earlier than most people would. it’s not a big deal to me when the words drop(bc it’s really not about words anyway for me, its about proving it with your actions, and if he loves me i should know even without him saying it), but if it is for him then i guess i’d wait til he felt right about it. granted, i think the more open you are to begin with the faster seungkwan himself would open up, so maybe it’ll just be a toss up bc we’ll both already be on the same page.
who would be more easily flustered: i’m a confident gay, so like, it would definitely be me making him flustered as much as i can for fun.
What cuddling position would you two have: okay, so here’s what i’m thinking: he’s mostly on his back, however he’s comfy, and i’m curled up at his side with one leg thrown over him and he has one arm around/under me, and my head is either next to his on the pillow or on his shoulder (like this). we can reverse the positions too we’re flexible
which colors remind you of them and why: sunset colours!! i often call him my sunset boy, so sunset colours, and very specifically all shades of orange, make me think of him. they’re just...warm and sweet but also fiesty and bold colours which is...him in print.
which season would you like to spend with them: uhhh all of them for the rest of my life? Idk, I feel stupid answering this since I live in a tropical country but...mm, maybe the time period where it's not quite spring yet but it's not really winter anymore...like, imagine going on a road trip and you get to see the landscape change from white and snowy to bare for a little while and then everything blooms. gorgeous. i wanna do that with him. or maybe the summer season in the arctic where it’s light out 24 hours a day. or just mango season here in trinidad
who would bake cookies and who would steal the batter: seungkwan would probably make the decision for us to bake cookies together bc it’ll be a fun bonding experience or whatever, but he doesnt really know what he’s doing, so i have to give him all the instructions and explain everything to him, and then i let him struggle with all the dirty work and look on and occasionally snatch bits of the dough to ‘make sure it’s coming out right’
which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react: i dont really do puns, so it’ll have to be him. he probably spends all his alone time trying to come up with them. over text, he might get a eye roll emoji or a ‘why are you like this’, in person i’d probably just ignore it completely and continue the conversation like it never happened. (which might make him pouty, but pouty seungkwan is adorable, so either way i win)
which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a poptart and who come to the rescue: i’m brown and poor poptarts have never been a thing in my house, so i suppose it’ll be me who screws up. wake up in the middle of the night hungry so i sneak into the kitchen as quiet as possible, not even turning on any lights, put the thing in the microwave for way longer than its supposed to be. when it explodes seungkwan runs outside half asleep bc he wants to know who got shot. he cleans the mess bc he loves me and tells me to leave the pop tart prep to him in the future.
who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back: it would be me, adrenaline junkie and lover of risks and high places, leaning over the railing of a tall building like ‘omg, i could jump right now it would be like flying’ seungkwan would drag me away and probably sit me down and lecture me about it too
what would you watching a horror film with them be like: i would never watch a horror movie, lol. next question.
who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt: i think we could both be cheesy when we wanted to, but maybe more him than me since he’s the king of cheese. flirting is one of my favourite pastimes, so i’d probably be a decently smooth flirt. as earlier mentioned, my greatest joy would be seeing him flustered and at a loss for words bc of just how smooth i am
who is more competitive: oh we are BOTH very competitive, it’s super fun when we’re playing a game or a sport and we’re on the same side and trying to crush the opponents, but i think we try to get on opposite teams bc its ten times more fun to try and beat each other. like just the thought of being better at him at something is already exhilarating to me ;;;)))))))
who would have to be given constant reminders: for tasks that are hard/uninteresting, i’ll have to have him remind me cause i’ll find 500 things that are more interesting to distract me when i just need to suck it up and get the thing done, and i’ll need the nudge. when it comes to just forgetting, i’ll probably have to remind him bc it totally slipped his mind.
who sends memes and who sends cute I miss you text at 3 am: he definitely sends the memes, im way too lazy to save them on my phone and then have to go looking for one that’s appropriate, that’s a lot of work. i’m happy to receive them though. and uhh...i wouldn’t send anyone a text like that at 3am and i wouldn’t like to receive one either, and i would tell him that. emotions get weird and warped at that hour, and i dont trust them on a regular basis, much less at 3 o’clock in the morning. i say, hold it in for now and if you still feel the same at 10am? then you go ahead and tell me you miss me. BUT if i get a message at 10am from seungkwan saying he misses me/loves me/is thinking of me? i would be on a cloud for the entire day.
this was really fun! my heart is warrrrrrrrrmmmm and ive been in soft stan mode for the past two days cause of it. so now i’m gonna tag @woozifi @minigum @mvpgyu @pabospoiler @seonyein @szrw @witchzi @yookik have fun friends!
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i got tagged by @chuukitten like a month ago lmao oops
rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people (im too lazy lol im sorry i just like to talk about myself so thats what im gonna do HAHA)
im gonna put this under a read more cause it got long
1. nickname: my bf calls me cube
2. zodiac: i dont do zodiac shit lol sorry
3. height: i dont actually know, im bad with remembering things like that
4. hogwarts house: the “fuck jk rowling” house (okay fine im hufflepuff)
5. last thing i googled: farmersonly… dont worry about it
6. favorite musicians: i mean yall know my kpop ones haha… loona, dreamcatcher, fromis 9, pentagon, exid, red velvet, twice, eyedi, weki meki, etc……. outside of kpop oh man where do i begin… its tough cause ive basically only listened to kpop in 2019 but okay so i’d say the band idles, death grips, grimes, streetlight manifesto, huh idk i have a lot that i like but i dont know who else i would consider my “favorites” at the moment
7. song stuck in my head: right now its pirate king by ateez
8. following: 1800 lol
9. followers: on this blog 264, but 724 on my main
10. do you get asks: occasionally
11. amount of sleep: i should sleep way, way more than i do
12. what are you wearing: pajamas
13. dream job: hmmm. i mean i dont dream of working, i dont have a dream “job”, but if the question is about my dream “thing i wanna do a lot of in my life” then i guess my answer is… idk… something where i can just engage in whatever is interesting to me at the moment. like in the vein of my tumblr blogs where i can just post and talk about stuff im interested in. idk if that means being a youtuber or journalist or just someone who does something else and engages in my interests as a hobby, but yeah. or something to do with linguistics of course. though like i dont wanna be a teacher and thats basically the only path lmao (that i would even consider, anyway)
14. dream trip: you know i dont actually have a lot of interest in travel. idk, it stresses me out. i cant think about going places without worrying about how i’ll get around, what i’ll be doing, what i’ll be able to eat since i have a lot of food anxieties… idk. if someone i love wanted to go on a trip with me i’d probably be down, but i dont really know on my own.
15. instruments: i wish i could do music lol
16. languages: are amazing and i love them. okay fine lol i only speak english, but i took german in middle and high school, i took latin in high school as well, then took latin and ancient greek in college, and then after college i did a lot of looking into hungarian, vietnamese, a little bit of indonesian, turkish, and polish, and then recently i’ve been pretty focused on korean for obvious reasons. i speak none of those languages tho, lol. if i heard someone speaking some of those i could get the gist of what types of things theyre talking about most likely, but honestly my whole thing with languages is that im more interested in learning about the intricacies of how languages work and especially how they change over time than i am in actually learning the language. i’d love if my dumb adhd brain allowed me to focus hard enough and really commit to becoming fluent in a second language because so far i’ve only steadily approached being barely conversational, i’ve never actually reached even that point yet lol. and being only fluent in english makes me feel like a stupid american lol. i pick up bits of language really easily, but the rigor of learning ALL the vocab and ALL the little details you need to become actually fluent is where i fall off.
like whenever i go through an anime phase, i pick up lots and lots of japanese. like if they keep using a word i’ll see it in the subtitles and figure that it must mean that, and then i’ll pay attention to the endings they use and how they inflect it and i’ll make little inferences about what those signify, so then when i hear a word that i dont recognize but it has a grammatical ending that i know, i can infer the meaning of the word from context, and im going through this same learning process with korean now and it’s super super fun and i’m loving how much progress ive made (though i could have been making progress like three times as fast if i was actually taking a korean class)… but the actual work of learning common phrases, learning the sheer volume of vocab, all that stuff… yeah that’s where i fall off. so idk how fluent i’ll get in korean, but i’m down to find out, lol. maybe this is the one i’ll really try to focus on and achieve it with!
17. 10 favorite songs as of now: of all time????? um okay i cant possibly do that without spending a looong time thinking about it, so i’ll just do the first ten songs that come to my mind when i think of songs that i adore more than most others
keep the streets empty for me by fever ray
colossus by idles
watch it crash by streetlight manifesto
lucky girl by fazerdaze
realiti (demo) by grimes
egoist by loona (olivia hye)
picky picky by weki meki
mother by idles
peekaboo by red velvet
hi high by loona
18. if you were an animal: red panda maybe haha
19. favorite food: pizza cause im a garbage trash person
20. random fact: idk... if yall couldnt tell and didnt already know this, i’m a linguist haha. i went to school for linguistics, i majored in linguistics and classics (latin, ancient greek, etc) though honestly i was only into the languages, roman and greek history is cool and all but not really what i’m most into. majoring in classics was a mistake lol but oh well. i didnt end up graduating though because of unrelated reasons.... adhd, depression, just a general sense that the way the whole system works just wasnt made for me and it didnt click with me and ive never been good at forcing myself to be good at school... and like i was tired of hearing from professors that i have “a very organized mind when it comes to linguistics stuff” (something a greek professor said that meant a lot to me) or that i “understand how language works better than most other students my age” and that im a natural and that its impressive how nuanced my understanding of these concepts is.... while also failing or almost failing all of the classes whose professors said that about me. like basically all those statements were followed by a “, but” or a “, so if you just-”.... sigh. so i guess i’m not “actually” a linguist. whatever “actually” means there.
so other random fact i guess, which is still related but anyway... i have a conlang! that’s a constructed language. ive been working on a language for like 6 or 7 years. its at a state right now where it’s not really something i can just like... speak? it was at one point, maybe. but basically what i like to do is try out various ideas i have about language and phonology and morphology, so my language is kind of like a sandbox lol. if youre a scientist you conduct experiments, if youre a linguist i think you should try making a conlang. its not a common hobby but its something i spend an unconscionable amount of time thinking about lol. like basically 24/7. i’m almost always thinking about my word for x thing im seeing or thinking about, or like some sound change i heard that some language had, and how that would sound if applied to the words in my language...
like the reason my language isnt at a point right now where i can speak it is because getting into korean has made me think about massively reconfiguring how the grammar works. its always been kinda like latin and german, cause those are what i was taking when i started, and then it got kinda like ancient greek, so the grammar has/had a lot of complicated conjugations that are just honestly so superfluous... its such a mess lol... i have a much better understanding of how those systems come about in language now, so even if i remake my language to have verb conjugations like latin or greek, it’d be a much more coherent and natural system than the one thats existed in my language for years... but after learning about hungarian and korean in particular, i really wanna try making it a lot more logical like those languages are. but my big thing is phonology (speech sounds), so i just get hung up on sound changes and cool new consonants and vowels to add, so i keep putting off actually fixing my language lol. also ive become attached to my awful, amateurish words haha. im so bad at this... a real conlanger like tolkien or the dude who made the languages for game of thrones would look at mine and scoff haha. most of my words are just straight up stolen from words in latin, german, many others, but predominantly... english. i just mangle english words and call it my own lol, and ive been trying to replace those words with original ones that i made up arbitrarily... like my word for nose is just “nass” and my word for dog is “handir” which is just based on english “hound” and german “Hund” and stuff lol. i wanna change those
21. my aesthetic: if you actually read this long ass post, you know that my aesthetic is just “too much information” but not in a sexy way or even an interesting way
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Episode 3 : Like He Lost Tag On The Playground | Andrew Gentile
So few subjects to choose from to entertain myself Too high to competently do this education stuff Too many grains of rice to eat I need a bagel with loxspread because I'm Jewish
The motivation to show that I'm manly, good at challenges and have lots of testosterone is not worth all this pain of clicking stupid numbers in the multiplication table. I keep telling myself I'm doing it for two charities: - The sanity of my tribe - The children
Literally 9x6=potato at this point
Lol being immune and lurking? I’m in Ecuador going to the Galapagos rn so outcast island is the best thing ever.
So I have no idea where I stand on my tribe at all! I'm initiating most of the conversations that I have which sucks! And I'm trying my best to form bonds but also not try too hard!
hope i can get enough to win this immunity to be honest i am glad i was not voted out
We lost the challenge and I'm just woo! Jordan got a lucky pass and only got to submit 30 points had that been me I would have been voted out smh. Kaci got evacuated to Outcast island luckily so no drama tonight!
YES! we won rip kaci but woo us i hope we can keep winning
So IDK what the heck our vote was last round. I thought everyone was voting for Adrian but instead it was a huge mess. Basically I'm glad we won because otherwise I think we'd be in for another messy tribal council.
his confessional will probably be a little less filled up than normal because: A. Free Rice took up all my time of socializing with people B. No tribal but on the other hand, i got the highest score in Free Rice which idk what to feel about it. It's good because I helped my tribe win, but bad because.. challenge threat label? But having a challenge threat label in Ausvivor when.. half the game is premerge won't affect me much. Only thing really going on is the Reward/Idol System... APPARENTLY Andrew found half of a Super Idol on the Purple Rock... and we need to find the Purple Rock. He said he told me, yes, ME! because he trusts me the most which is GREAT. Also though, I'm talking to Charlotte and she's done the EXACT SAME THING as Andrew on both times she's gone to the Idol System, first time, they both grabbed the torch in the cave, second time, Andrew got the Purple Rock like... 2 minutes before her which SUCKS for her. But I'm glad Charlotte is telling me about it too. I got a disadvantage for our tribe in the next challenge because I searched in the top hole of a tree, which Pocket told me to search in because he did the bottom and middle holes, but whatever! Antoine went into the bush on the clear path, and did the Yellow Rock. My goal right now is to figure out what most people on our tribe have done for the Idol System so I can have a greater knowledge of it and find out where idols are! Overgrown -> Keep Going = END Clear -> Top Hole = DISADVANTAGE Clear -> Middle Hole = END Clear -> Bottom Hole = END Clear -> Keep Walking -> Bush = END Clear -> Keep Walking -> Keep Walking -> Yellow Rock = DISADVANTAGE Clear -> Keep Walking -> Keep Walking -> Blue Rock = ? Clear -> Keep Walking -> Keep Walking -> Purple Rock = HALF SUPER IDOL Clear -> Keep Walking -> Keep Walking -> None = ? Rocky -> Cave -> Grab Torch = END Here's my list of what I know so far, so I wanna know what happens on the Overgrown and Rocky sections now. Outcast Island is also having its first Tribal, and I'm assuming Conor or Kaci will go because they're more inactive. And besides that... nada! I have WAY better strategic relationships with people now because everyone talked game last round. I feel so much more aggressive and proactive in this game! It's really nice getting what I want. Like I've never done that in games before so being able to have more control over my fate is SOOOO nice and strategy is.. kinda, sorta fun! So I'm having a great time and playing the game, and I guess I can just hope I win.
We lose. Johnny no lifing does NOT prevail RIP Kaci. She would've been a good ally, but she's a fool and didn't tell RTP that she was excusing herself for the challenges, which is kinda playing survivor 101 if you know you're not going to be here, which is fucking tragic, but it's okay. Maybe her pretty face can make her way back into the game from outcast island. WE SHALL SEE
So things are goinf well...-ish. We might have lost the challenge but we don’t have to go to tribal thanks to Kaci’s absence. Thank god. I think if we went to tribal now it would all blow up, I still want time to soldify the bonds I’ve made, so no matter what i have options when things do inevitably change.
I really hope we'll win the challenge tonight. I'm worried I might have to fight for my spot if we lose! I hope those hidden rewards are worth it cause they are hard to find.
So Tim basically has attached himself to my hip as a dynamic duo in this game. Honestly, I am perfectly okay with that. I feel like Tim will be a particularly loyal ally to my cause, and he will definitely boost my reputation on this tribe. Still working on getting in with Stephen, but I feel like I have done that successfully. Johnny is another potential ally on this tribe and lord knows I need to start earning them.
bye trip and your idol hehehe
Y'ALL I'VE FINALLY DONE IT! AFTER TOO MANY GAMES TO NAME I HAVE FINALLY FOUND AN IDOL. And it's a ruby idol, so I can't wait to fuck shit up. I'm not telling anyone about it either cause I trust no one :)
Glad we won this challenge, but I am starting to get nervous. By this point I expected strategy to come into play a bit more, with people already starting to talk about who they want gone. But thats not happening. Tribal would, at least, reveal alliances and start the game going. That being said every round we win is a round I’m 100% safe, and a round I could find an advantage in reward.
I love that we won immunity! It's such a great feeling to not have to worry about going to tribal. Also, RIP Trip. It's sad that the person who sacrificed himself for us was voted out first. Though I do doubt if there was ever any hope for him seeing as he would have had zero connections. At the very least, Kaci is surviving which is good for me since she is someone I would like to work with. If Adrian comes back, though, I could very easily use him to take out his other tribemates like Jay. Hopefully, he is bitter enough to do that.
I CANT THIS TRIBE IS.... I wish i had a gif of this but just imagine the gif of Brenda Lowe saying "I don't even have to do anything and people align with me!" LIKE!!! IVE BEEN ADDED TO 2 ALLIANCES WHILE IVE BEEN AT SCHOOL ALL DAY. AND PEOPLE SAID TO WAIT FOR MY OPINION TO DECIDE WHO TO VOTE.. I LOVE HAVING CONTROL. I have.. POWER.. love it. Also Chrissa and Pocket are fighting because Antoine is in Pocket's pocket essentially, but Antoine doesn't really talk to anyone else, so Pocket wants Charlotte out, while Chrissa wants Antoine out. IDK Also now I'm in 3 alliances!!! Alliance #1 - Good Eggs - Andrew/Carson/Chrissa/Jay/Owen/Pocket Alliance #2 - hey youtube stu here - Andrew/Bryan/Carson/Jay/Owen/Willow Alliance #3 - The Watchdog League - Andrew/Antoine/Carson/Pocket/Willow this is fucking.. insane why are these people like this i feel like the only sane one. also, jay threw Pocket under the bus in Alliance #2 Pocket threw Jay under the bus in Alliance #3 so Willow/Charlotte/Chrissa/Jay/Antoine/Pocket are the names circulating andj ust... i dont even know. this tribes a mess
These people are the most wishy-washy people ever. First nobody want to say a name and then, when I decide to throw a name out, nobody want to really commit to it. OMG, I don't know what to do with these guys. Like i'm suppose to be in an alliance of 5, who care who is voted out outside of it! To be honest, I wouldn't be surprise if my name come up tonight or if i'm going home. It's either me or Jay to be honest or I'll be surprised.
Nothing going on
Oh boy, immunity aint that swell. reward was lame, i injured myself but didnt even die like come on ryan. anyways ya, its chill #LongLiveJordanPines
So apparently Pocket is throwing out my name. It’s too early to try to take him down but I won’t forget it.
I hope the vote goes smooth i just want us to be on the same page and so i just hope however the vote goes we still are on the same page
Ok so. Jay made an alliance of me, him, Carson, willow, owen, Charlotte, and drew. So I’m cool with that for now. Also. I thought willow was gonna be the target before hand. But it turns out pocket was targeting Charlotte and Chrissa was targeting Antoine and they had a little kerfuffle about it. I don’t like that pocket was targeting Charlotte. So I suggest to this alliance we vote him out. But like. This vote is probably gonna be all over the place tbh. Smh.
Im more than happy to not have tribal but my forest searches are going horribly! Ive gotten closer to Raffy and even proposed a final 2 with him. ALSO Stephen found half of the supeidol and decided to tell me about it I'm estatic! I smell a swap coming though so.... Honestly thats good for my game because that means that I won't be voted out from my original tribe who I think have an alliance already made :/ (without me in it of course). I still want to work with Johnny and Raffy and Stephen and maybe even L.A but for now jm leaving all of my options open!
So I found something in the reward, half a super idol!!!! eek. but now i have to keep looking for the other half, although chances are someones found it. But it’d be a bad idea to broadcast in the hopes that someone will come forward with the other half. I have told Tim, my ally, so that if he hears anything he will tell me. I hope that isn’t a mistake, but I trust him. Idk if I’ll tell Johnny, or Jordan, the ither two I’d consider aligning with, I don’t 100% trust them yet.
Its time to find part 2 of the SuperIdol, let the hunt begin.
Ok despite this round being twice as long, even less happened. Kaci was medevaced, which sucks because I really wanted to work with her. At least I know I'll have an ally at outcast island if i get voted out. I've got johnny on my side still, as well as jordan, rob, and probably stephen. I had a convo with tim today, and I also want to work with him. I'm just wary of how many people i give my loyalty to because I'm sure andrew is also going to have his own allies. But honestly? why am i even thinking about this game. Why do i have to constantly remind myself that I also have an opportunity to win. Anyways! I think i'm in a good spot on this tribe. I wouldnt mind a swap tho, lets shake it up!
this game makes me wanna eat my own ass bc pocket and chrissa fought and the vote switched from pocket to chrissa to charlotte to antoine back to chrissa back to antoine maybe idk I'm literally gay and i wanna die and I'm like in 18 alliance chats and I'm on call with jay carson and willow trying to figure this out someone pls fuckin help
i somehow flipped this vote to Antoine?? like i said earlier i wanted antoine out and this is somehow working... i love big movez!!!!! im shaking. this is for you pocket!! also apparently charlotte likes antoine more than chrissa.. we're working this. i really do feel like brenda lowe rn with everyone coming to me and me just telling people things! like i dont think imma get the blame for this vote from ANYONE because andrew/jay/willow were doing the heavywork while i suggested it. whew. hope antoine goes because he sorta petered out after night 1.
heres a short synopsis of the vote and what happened: 1. i got added to 3 alliances and every single one wanted different things, with pocket, jay, antoine, charlotte, and chrissa being targeted. 2. i went on call with bryan/jay and they tried getting me to vote pocket, i like pocket, so i was like EHHHH maybe iDK! i like majority :3 could we do antoine? 3. talked to andrew during that call who wanted chrissa out hard, said "CAN WE CUT ANTOINE PLEASE.." 4. went on call with andrew/jay, said we could do antoine, not too bad to flip it. they agreed, added willow, told everyone while i ate food. 5. :) woo lets see if this works
ugh its gonna be ant tonight which is kinda sad bc hes really nice f;alksdjf this is too messy honestly
I would vote out Pocket rn because he's asking to if it weren't for the fact that we all just went to the trouble to save him, and now he's gonna be a piss baby that things aren't going his way. Sorry I don't respect that and now I don't respect him as a player so he can go back to Party City (Zwooper) where he belongs.
This round has been a massive mess. So to start, I wanted to vote out Antoine, but Chrissa and Pocket had a fight about whether it's Antoine or Charlotte. I talked to Andrew and we decided to cut ties with Chrissa and Pocket and start a new alliance with Bryan and Willow replacing them. Well what do you know! A new conflict broke out on whether to vote Chrissa or Pocket! It really looked like Chrissa was leaving until Owen messaged me saying that he's voting Pocket no matter what. So naturally I call my closest ally, Carson, and we get to talking and we decide we want Chrissa to stay. But we didn't want to alienate Andrew, so after the vote was set on Pocket, we talked to Andrew about the vote since he didn't want Pocket out. We ended up deciding on voting Antoine because if he leaves, and Pocket continues to trust Andrew, we have a solid five (Me, Andrew, Carson, Willow, and Pocket) and I trust Bryan to vote with us too.
And as we speak, Pocket is having a meltdown and asking to leave and I'm sorry I didn't go through so much effort to get this vote the way it's supposed to be JUST TO CHANGE IT AGAIN! Sorry buddy, I need numbers, and you're one of those numbers. :)
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Tagged!
I was tagged by @kwamimusings and @powerdragonmoon
Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you’d like to get to know better!
Name: Stephanie (kill me now)
Nicknames: Steph, Meme Queen, Hairy Bear, Stephano
Zodiac Sign: Aries :3
Height: 5′2″
Orientation: Sexuality? Asexual Panromantic.
Ethnicity: Asian/White.
Favorite Fruit: Probably either a banana or an apple, but I don’t usually eat those. I’m kind of a carnivore like that.
Favorite Season: Summer, mainly because I finally get to swim outside.
Favorite Book: Uhh... I think the House of Hades by Rick Riordan.
Favorite Flower: Fire Lily :3
Favorite Scent: Lemon
Favorite animals: Tiger, domestic cat, fox, hawk, and wolf.
Coffee, Tea, or Hot Cocoa: D) Tea if it’s the cold type and has ice.
Cat or Dog Person: Cat
Favorite Fictional Character: Heck you, first of all, second of all, I have about a thousand fandoms, but I think I actually do have a favorite character, and that’s either Erza or Gray from Fairy Tail.
Dream Trip: Pretty much anywhere nature related, but closer to the ocean.
Blog Created: Almost a year ago
Number of Followers: Counting my MLB blog, that’s 84.
What I Post About: Fairy Tail, SVTOE, Disney/Pixar/Dreamworks, MLB on my MLB fandom blog, but also funny (meme) stuff, and sometimes really important stuff that has to do with mental health.
Do I get asks on a regular basis: Nah
Aesthetic:
Hogwarts House: I would be a Gryffindor, or a cross between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.
Rules: Write 92 rules about yourself, then tag 25 people.
LAST ___:
Drink: Water Phone Call: My dad Text message: My best friend Song you listened to: Ready, Aim, Fire - Imagine Dragons Time you cried: IDK, probably last week or something
HAVE YOU EVER ____: Dated someone twice: Never dated Been cheated on: Never dated Kissed someone and then regretted it: Never kissed someone Lost someone special: Yeah Been depressed: Oh boy, yes Gotten drunk and thrown up: Never tasted alchohol
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: Fiery red, aqua blue, and a somewhat deep, powerful purple.
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU _____: Made new friends: Both on Tumblr and in real life. Fallen out of love: Yeah, literally did 2 weeks ago.
Laughed until you cried: Also a week ago
Found out someone was talking about you: No (suspiciously eyes everyone) Met someone who changed you: Yes Found out who your true friends are: Some, yes. For others, their personality is weird, so I’m not sure. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I dont even have Facebook because I personally hate it because everyone just posts about themselves and it seems really selfish, so no
GENERAL: How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: Let’s replace that with the word Tumblr. One. Do you have any pets: I used to have 4 beautiful parakeets, but I lost 3 of them over time. I only have one named Cloud left, who is a male. Do you want to change your name: Well, yes, but only to the more Italian version of my last name. What did you do for your last birthday: I don’t really remember. My BDAY is on April 9, so that was about a year ago, so I don’t remember anything. What time did you wake up: 5:00 AM What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping
Name something you cannot wait for: Biology class somewhere in my future, because I hope to be a zoologist, and that field is in biology. When was the last time you saw your mother: About 3 years ago. Dark humor at its finest. What is something you wish you could change about your life: Probably the amount of freedom I have to actually do things alone in my own house, because I’m still a student and I live with my dad, so I don’t really get to sing out loud because I have anxiety and you get the idea. What are you listening to right now: The TV playing about 10 feet away from me Have you ever talked to a person named tom: No Something that is getting on your nerves: Some of my friends Most visited website: Tumblr, or Google Drive Elementary: Public? Is this how we answer this? High school: Public College: Not Yet there Hair color: Really dark brown, almost black, but not a dull color. Long or short hair: Long, probably down to my waist. Do you have a crush on someone: Not right now. What do you like about yourself: I like that I can analyze things, and that I can prove people wrong and change their mindsets in the blink of an eye. I also like my ability to draw, write, and use sarcasm. Piercings: Does this mean that we have one? If so, no, if it’s asking for my opinion on it, I don’t really care if you have one or not. Blood type: type -O I think. Nickname: Steph, Meme Queen, Hairy Bear, Stephano Relationship status: Single Zodiac sign: Aries Pronouns: She/Her/Meme Queen Favorite TV show: um. Does SVTOE or Miraculous Ladybug count? Tattoos: No, but I do think they are cool, but they do hurt your system, so no. Right or left hand: Right
FIRST ____: Surgery: Never had one Piercing: My ears, but it closed up because I never really wanted one anyways Best friend: A girl named Nandana Sport: I don’t actually do sports, but I find basketball, tennis, and pickleball to be fun. I used to do taekwondo karate. Vacation: New York with my Mom Pair of trainers: Never had those
RIGHT NOW ___: Eating: BROWNIES WITH CHERRY FROSTING Drinking: water About to: dunno, write more on this post? Listening to: currently nothing except the TV 10 feet away Waiting for: My motivation to arrive <<<<Saem, and also waiting for my friends to stop basing everything off of their emotions, but that time will probably never come Want: To swim, be by the ocean and to hear the sound of the waves, to save endangered animals, to inform people of the danger they are doing to animals, also the thoughts of Hiro Mashima as he is currently plotting Lucy’s death Get married: If I find the right person. Career: Zoologist
WHICH IS BETTER ____: Hugs or kisses: Hugs, although IDK, I’ve never been kissed. Lips or eyes: Eyes, frick is this question Shorter or taller: For crushes or whatever, taller. For me, though, I’ll stay short. Older or younger: Younger. Nice arms or nice stomach: What, you have a flat stomach, and arms so flabby that they’re like plastic bags in the wind? But flat stomach, because I have good arms. Sensitive or loud: As in voice tone? I’m loud, and for others, depends on how I’m feeling on the certain day. Hook up or relationship: Relationship Troublemaker or hesitant: Both.
HAVE YOU EVER ____: Kissed a stranger: Nope Drank hard liquor: nope Lost glasses/contact lenses: Forever? No. But temporarily, yes. Turned someone down: yeah. Several times.
Sex on first date: UHHHH NOOOOOO I HAVENT DATED AND IM ASEXUAL
Broken someone’s heart: I hope I haven’t, but I have a feeling I have. Had your own heart broken: yeah Been arrested: Nope Cried when someone died: No, actually. Fallen for a friend: yeah
DO YOU BELIEVE IN ____: Yourself: Either 100% or -100% Miracles: yes Love at first sight: yes Santa Claus: Nope. :( Kiss on the first date: i wouldnt, but if someone else does, whatever Angels: Yes
OTHER ____: Current best friend’s name: Kaitlyn Eye color: Brown Movie: Zootopia or Moana
Tag! @sallyjacson @loveandlucky @nepeta-loves-karkitty @elliaphant
@random-stuff-47 @takemetoneverlandr5 @icedteaandoldlace @crewefox @lynxmuse @greenleaf62 @daydreamingobessed @chefkrista @saltyassgajeel
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