#also i will get back to your wonderful comment on AO3 tomorrow when I have time! <3< /div>
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Hi KW! I just wanted to wish you a happy holidays, and also wish you a Happy Birthday as well! I havenât forgotten. :) I also wanted to message my thoughts about the lack of engagement on fics and my own personal responsibility as a reader. I have to admit that I am VERY guilty of my lack of engagement. You are absolutely one of my FAVORITE authors (and people - youâve been absolutely so nice and kind!!), but you wouldnât know it based on my lack of engagement with your beautiful works. I can make excuses for thatâthe pandemic, social isolation, having social anxiety, etcâbut itâs not an excuse for negligence or laziness. Iâve been really negligent as a reader, and thereâs no excuse for it. Of course, weâre not obligated to write comments, but at the same time, how will authors ever know that people have liked or even read what theyâve written?? So, it goes both ways. If we want to see more fics being written and authors not quitting due to lack of engagement, we do have to do our part to show interest and show that we care. I apologize profusely for that, and I will definitely make more of an effort because I care! And I love your stories!! They're healing and provide so much happiness to my heart. I just have to reciprocate that love back to you. Please forgive me, and I hope you have a happy new year with lots of blessings and love! â€ïž
HI MY LOVE!! First off, I am so sorry for taking so long to respond to you. I wasn't feeling well for a long while and today is the first day I've felt better and had more energy to type out a thoughtful response to your lovely message. Thank you so much for the well wishes and for your happy birthday message too đ„ș, I hope you had a wonderful holiday celebration and are well.
Also thank you for sharing your thoughts regarding engagement! I think the things you listed are totally valid excuses! Regarding my own engagement post, I should've been more clear when I wrote it because I was more so referring to newer readers who often jump in to possibly like a bunch of stuff and then that's kind of the last of it (the last you ever get and or hear from them). I really wasn't referring to readers who already do or did engage a lot because no one understands more than me that life gets in the way. I appreciate your sentiments though, and thank you very much for sharing.
You really have nothing to apologize for, but thank you for sending me a message. I appreciate you and I hope you have an equally happy and healthy new year. I pray the new year will be very kind to all of us â€ïž, I feel like everyone needs it. Sending you all my love! Ty for dropping by :3
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Contracted Fling {Joel Miller x F!Reader}
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 14.8k
Warnings: Secret affair, rough sex, oral sex (male and female receiving), semi-public sex, mentions of loss, miscommunication, fight, Joel being sexily violent, make up sex, morning after
Comments: Hired to renovate your parents house, Joel finds you irresistible. Engaging in an affair that turns complicated and scratches beneath both of your pasts.
Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers
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|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||
Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.
Itâs not a bad gig. Not all things considered. The house isnât in terrible shape, it just needs updating and homeowners arenât the type to squabble if Joel uncovers some problem that will take more time and money to fix, they just want it to be done right. A true rarity in construction.Â
Then thereâs you. Heâs old enough to know better and youâre young enough to have moved back into your parentâs house one week after demolition had started. You are a bonafide distraction and trouble all wrapped up in a pretty little package. Right now, heâs moving the little box of your bathroom shit into the hallway to continue to tear the tile out. Trying not to look down into it and see what you use when the smell of your shampoo drives him crazy.
When you moved back in with your parents, you felt like a failure. Your ex boyfriend had cheated on you and you were living in his place. You refused to stay in his apartment a moment longer so you packed your things and left. Moving back home, you plan to save enough money to get your own place but for now, youâre happy to be home.Â
Especially when youâre greeted with the sight of Joel laboring around the house. Heâs older, beard salt and pepper with streaks of gray through his hair. Heâs unbelievably hot in a DILF kind of way, and you want him. Itâs been a while since you had sex. Your ex hadnât touched you and you wondered why until you found him balls deep in the colleague he said was âjust a good friend.âÂ
Joel is working on removing the tile in your bathroom, his brother downstairs is working on the tile in the kitchen, and you walk past the bathroom, eager to catch a sight of him. The way his plaid shirt stretches over his shoulders makes your mouth drool.Â
âHowâs it going?â You ask him when he pauses his demolition, leaning against the doorframe in the short shorts youâve taken to wearing around the house since he arrived.
Joel glances at your legs and then straightens, groaning slightly and reaching for his handkerchief to wipe the sweat off his face. âShould be done with the demo by tomorrow.â He tells you. âYou can still use the bathroom tonight though.âÂ
You cross your arms, biting your lip as you watch him roll his shoulders. âCool. You and your brother seem to know what youâre doing. My parents made a good choice picking your company. You need some water? Iâm heading downstairs to grab a coffee before I get back to work.â Youâve been working from your childhood bedroom, able to work remotely.
âSure.â He wonât turn down water, especially enjoying the view when you turn around to walk to the stairs. âThanks.â He calls after you, frowning slightly as he swears your ass shakes just a bit and his cock twitches. âSheâs not interested in you.â He grunts to himself, listening to you bound down the stairs and call out a âhelloâ to Tommy when you go into the kitchen.Â
You come back about five minutes later with your coffee cup and you hand him a bottle of water, your fingers brushing his as he takes it from you. You stand there, watching as he opens the bottle and tilts his head back to down half the bottle, his Adamâs apple moving. Your mouth falls open slightly and you swallow down the drool. God, heâs so hot and he doesnât even know it. âIâll be in my room if you need anything else.â You try to say as innocently as possible and you turn to walk out of the bathroom with your cup of coffee. Youâll keep pushing him, see if he breaks, and if he doesnât, you know he doesnât want you.
âThanks.â He lifts the bottle and watches as you walk away again, hissing slightly under his breath. You have been prancing around the house in short shorts and tank tops with your tits on display, giving him a good fucking view of the body you have. It makes him want to bend you over the bathroom sink and fuck you, but itâs your house, you can wear what you want. Heâs just a guest here.Â
****Â
Itâs been two weeks since Joel and Tommy started working on your parentâs house and you have been frustrated by Joelâs presence. Every night, when the house is quiet, you rub your clit and imagine Joel taking you hard over the under construction kitchen counter. Today, his brother Tommy, is sick and itâs only Joel who is working on the kitchen floor. You work in your room until you decide to seek out a snack, making your way downstairs to the makeshift pantry. âHey Joel. You want a snack?â You ask and you bend over to see whatâs in the box your mom left in the corner.
Joel groans and grits his teeth together. âYeah.â He grunts. âWhatcha got?â He knows what he wants to snack on. Itâs right in front of him, bent over and all he has to do is just pull your shorts down and pull his cock out of his jeans. âAnything good?âÂ
You rifle through the snacks and hold up a couple of options over your head. âChips or cookies?â You offer and he says âchips.â You take the cookies and stand up, tossing the packet over to him. You lean against the dining table and watch him shove a chip into his mouth. âSoâŠhowâs the work coming along? Must be hard without your brother here to help today.â
Joel snorts, rolling his eyes playfully and shrugs. âBetter, donât have to listen to him whine about dealing with his pregnant wife.â He jokes. âCravings and cramps and aches and pains.â He shoves his hand back into the bag. âTold him just to fuck her good when sheâs complaining, but that might be why heâs expecting a kid.âÂ
You wince slightly at the mention of his sister in-law being pregnant. A sensitive subject for you but Joel doesnât know that. You chuckle after a second, fiddling with the bag in your hand. âBeing a woman isnât easy. Being pregnant, well thatâs the hardest thing. Not that I- I donât have kids. From what Iâve heard.â You explain, âyou guys are doing a great job. My parents are already happy with your work. Youâre good with your hands.â You compliment saucily, licking your lips of cookie crumbs after taking a bite.
Joel lifts a brow at your comment and stares at you for a moment. âI am good with my hands.â He agrees, staring at you in challenge, waiting to see what else will come out of that mouth of yours. Trying not to think about what he would like to put in that mouth. How you would react to that.Â
âWhat else are you good with?â You ask, biting your lip as you wait for his reply. He leans against the counter, crossing his arms and the chip packet is still in his hand.
âLots of things.â Joel brags, smirking at you slightly. âWhat are you interested in?â He asks, setting the bag down on the counter and crossing one leg over the other at the ankles as he waits for you to answer.Â
You set the bag of cookies down on the kitchen table and brush off your hands, taking a step towards him. âLots of things.â You hum, walking towards him, ânot sure if youâre interested in using them on me but I sure have imagined it enough times.â
Itâs an invitation, one that he hadnât expected but he damn sure appreciated. He doesnât move, just arching a brow at you as he licks his lips. âTake off your shirt.â He orders.
Your parents arenât home. Itâs only you and Joel. You canât deny him when he looks at you with those dark brown eyes, his gaze burning into you. You reach down to grip the hem of your tank top and pull it over your head to expose your lace bra. You know he wants you to take that off too and you want to make the first move so you reach behind you to unclasp it, letting it drop down your arms to fall onto the floor heâs been working on.
He grunts, his cock twitching and hardening in his jeans. Finally uncrossing his ankles and standing straight as he steps closer to you. âYou have pretty tits.â He compliments, palms itching to touch them. âNow I want to see your ass.âÂ
How can you deny him? You reach down to unbutton your shorts, knowing heâs in total control. He could leave you high and dry and humiliated but the look in his eyes tells you heâs going to give you exactly what you want. You push your shorts down along with your panties and turn around as you kick them away. Looking over your shoulder at him, you smirk. âLike what you see, old man?â
You have a fucking gorgeous ass. He wants to slap it and he huffs as he pins you against the counter, newly installed by him. âUnbutton my pants and find out.â He orders.
Your stomach twists with anticipation and arousal and you reach down to unbutton his jeans, snaking your hand in to wrap your fingers around his cock. âFucking hell.â You gasp in shock. Heâs huge. Thick and throbbing in your hand. âIs that - I donât know if thatâs gonna fit, Miller.â
Joel chuckles quietly and smirks at you. âDonât think it will, little girl?â Youâre a grown ass woman, but your fingers tighten around his cock when he calls you that so he assumes you like it. âI think it will. I think youâll take every inch and scream my name.â
You pull him out of his jeans and squeeze him, starting to slowly pump him as his hands cup your tits. âBig words. Big words Iâm not sure you can fulfill.â You taunt him, licking your lips as you clench around nothing.
He huffs and reaches for your waist, pulling you up to shove you onto the counter and spread your thighs. âThat right?â He grunts, squeezing your thigh before he slides his fingers to your core and finds you dripping wet. âI think itâll be nice and slick.â
âFuck.â You whimper when his fingers find your clit. âYou wanna find out?â You ask breathlessly, grinding back against his hard cock. âJoel. I need- I want you to fuck me.â
The next moment, Joelâs too busy lining up and pushing inside your hot, tight cunt to even think about birth control. Groaning as he pushes deep, he doesnât stop until he's bottomed out inside you and one hand slaps down on the new granite countertop.
Your gasp echoes in the kitchen, your eyes sliding shut as he stretches you out. âHoly shit.â You whisper, âoh my God. Youâre - I think youâre in my guts.â You admit, unable to believe how he feels inside of you.
Joel growls, loving how tight you are squeezing him. âThatâs the point, little girl.â He reminds you cockily. âTo let you feel it.â He pulls back and then slams back into you.
Your head drops back, your mouth open in a silent moan as the delicious friction slams you into the counter. âI feel it. I - fuck - I feel it.â You pant, eyes opening as you turn your head to look at him, loving the way his dark eyes seem almost black with his desire for you.
He start to fuck you, quick hard thrusts that have you gasping his name while your hips bang against the counter. Reaching up to cup your tits and squeeze harshly before pinching your nipples.
âShit. Shit. Shit.â You hiss as he fucks you hard and fast. You cover his hands with yours as much as you can, making him squeeze your tits even harder. âJoel. Feels - better than I imagined.â You confess in a squeal when he kicks your ankle to spread you wider so he can push impossibly deeper.
âGonna- fuck, gonna make you scream.â He huffs, nearly out of breath from how hard heâs fucking you but his hips donât stutter and he doesnât slow down. âWant to hear you scream.â He bites down on your ear and lets go of one of your tits to rub your clit.
Your hands slap down on the counter and when his calloused fingers find your clit. âOh my - fuck!â You squeal, thighs starting to shake as he pounds into you, rubbing your bundle of nerves. You havenât been fucked like this in - never. Youâve never been fucked like this. âYes. Yes. Yes! Iâm gonna - oh shit. Youâre gonna make me cum.â You confess in a wheeze as he rasps in your ear, âthatâs it, little girl. Want you to soak my cock.â You shudder and your palms slide on the counter, slick with sweat as he works your body higher. âIâm gonna - Joel!â You shriek as you cum, clamping down on his cock.
Joel growls again and the slap of his hips against your ass becomes even more frantic, fucking you through the high of your orgasm and chasing his own. Groaning filthily into your ear at how tight you grip him, making his hips stutter as you ride out the pleasure. âGonna give me another?â He hisses in your ear, still rubbing your clit. âGonna soak me again and scream. I know it, I can feel it.â
Most men wouldâve already been pushing deep and spilling inside of you but Joel is still going. Your jaw is dropped and senseless moans of obedience fill the kitchen as you wordlessly promise him youâll cum again. His hips press against your ass, no doubt leaving bruises from the brutal way your hips are hitting the quartz counter. His fingers rub your clit and he slaps it after a few seconds. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as he continues to ruin you. âGonna - yes. Again.â You gasp out, walls starting to flutter around his cock.
His back is killing him and his knees feel like they are turning to rubber, but he doesnât stop. Addicted to the way your body splits open for his cock and your walls hug him close. âThatâs it. Cum for me, you naughty little girl.â He groans. âTightest little pussy Iâve ever fucked.â
His raspy words send you over the edge. âOh fuck. Joel!â You sob his name out, loud enough for the neighbors to hear as he fucks you by the kitchen window. You clamp down on his cock, soaking him and your knees give out but he presses you against the counter while he frantically fucks into you. âCum inside of me. Itâs safe.â You promise breathlessly, slumping down to rest your upper body on the cool counter as he continues to ram into you.
Joel grunts, his body curling around you and he holds onto the counter as he pounds into you. Feeling his own orgasm getting closer with every thrust while you clench around him. âFuck, fuck.â He growls into your ear. âGonna fill you up.â
âYes yes yes. Do it. Oh God. Fuck me. Fill me up.â You beg, wanting to hear him when he climaxes. You turn your head to look at him, his jaw clenched as he rocks into you. âCum for me, baby.â You plead and thatâs his undoing. He grunts as he cums, his cock twitching while he paints your walls with his hot seed.
Joel closes his eyes, his forehead pressed to the nap of your neck as he rocks his hips shallowly. Making sure every drop of his cum spurts inside of you until he is done. âFuck.â He hisses, enjoying the wave of pure bliss that floods his body and he pants to catch his breath. âYou good?â He asks after a moment.
You nod, trying to catch your own breath. âSo good.â You confess, looking back at him when he lifts his head from your neck. âDidnât expect that to happen today but Iâm glad it did.â You giggle and caress his forearms as he clings to you.
He pulls out of you slowly, not wanting to hurt you. Rocking back and reluctantly letting you go so he can tuck himself back into his jeans. âFeel a lot lighter now.â He snorts, snagging a paper towel to wipe you up.
âMaybe you can focus on the floor instead of watching me walk around in these tiny shorts I had to dig out of my case to tempt you with.â You giggle, reaching for your panties after he tosses the paper towel. âTook you long enough to make a move, Miller.â
Joel snorts, âmaybe, spent enough time thinking about bending you over the bathroom tub.âÂ
You chuckle, grabbing your bra after pulling your tank top back on. âMmm, now that sounds like a good time. You promise to do that?â You tease him, âbut seriously, I want more sex if you want that. Nothing serious. Some fun and youâre - youâre the hottest man Iâve seen in a long time. I donât want strings after what happened with my ex. I want to have fun. You up for that or is this a one time thing?â You gesture between you, wanting him to make a choice on if this happens again.
Joel contemplates your offer and shrugs. âSounds like I would be a fucking idiot to turn down sex.â He folds his arms over his chest. âEspecially with a woman as gorgeous as you are.â Heâs not the best at paying compliments, but he likes the way you smile when he says that. You are gorgeous and you want him to fuck you, the least he can do is make you feel good.
You step closer to him, leaning in to kiss his jaw, âI gotta get back to work but Iâll see you later. This is gonna be fun.â You squeal as you step back and stride off to the stairs, making your way up to your room. Joel huffs, a smirk on his face as he shakes his head. Youâre going to be trouble.
****
You bite your lip as Joel works on tiling your parentâs bathroom today. His shirt is off, leaving him in a tank top, a chain hanging from his neck, and you keep walking past to get a glimpse of him. âStop starinâ.â He orders and you lean against the door frame.Â
âCanât help it when youâre teasing me all day with those arms of yours.â Your cross your arms, letting your eyes trail down his body as he stands to turn and face you. His brother is downstairs working on the half bath and you know he canât hear you flirting with his older brother.
âYou gonna let me fuck you on my lunch break?â Joel asks, smirking as he looks up from the mortar line he is laying. âTommyâs running some errands so Iâm gonna just stay here and eat my sandwich like a good boy.â He chuckles when your thighs press together on instinct.
You smirk, âyeah? You gonna have your cake and eat it too? You know Tommy wonât be gone for too long and I canât be quiet so you gotta be quick to make me scream your name and cum before you finish your lunch.â You step into the bathroom and lean on the vanity, pushing your tits together so they meet his gaze when he looks up at you again. âYou think youâre up for the challenge, old man?â
âI could make you cum on my tongue now, little girl.â He growls, eyes dropping to your tits. âThen just fill that little pussy with my cum while heâs gone.â Joel smirks at you with glee, âbut I donât know if you can be that quiet.â
You inhale sharply, âI could try. You could keep me quiet. Use your fingers or - or my panties.â You test him, wondering if heâs bold enough to do this while his brother is downstairs. âI can be good.â
Joel chuckles quietly and drops his trowel into the bucket and groans slightly as he climbs to his feet. âHand me your panties then get up on the counter.â He orders, grabbing his rag to wipe his face. âAnd spread your legs.â
You giggle, glad you are wearing a dress today while pushing your panties down, handing them to him, and you shift to sit on the vanity he installed the other day, spreading your legs. Heâs so hot, his muscles moving while he wears that tank top and his jeans tight around his thighs. He shifts to stand between your legs and you tilt your head to kiss his chin.
Joel pushes your dress up even more, pleased that you are so eager to give him what he wants. He tilts his head down to press his lips to yours briefly, not really kissing you a lot but you havenât chased kisses either so he wonders if you dont really like it. Balling up your panties, he smirks as he holds them to your lips. âOpen up, little girl. You canât make too many noises while I eat your pussy.â
You eagerly open your mouth for him, wiggling on the cool surface as you impatiently wait for his next move after he pushes the lace into your mouth. Itâs dry and you swallow around them, cheeks full of the material and your eyes meet his as his hands trail along your inner thighs, a whine of need is muffled by your underwear.
âSo impatient.â He chides, pinching the inside of your thigh slightly and then soothing it with a small rub. âNow-â he grunts as he kneels back down. âYou need to be quiet.â
You watch him, eyes dark with lust as he leans in, his hot breath washing over your wet pussy. Youâre always so turned on around him. Youâve never experienced this kind of attraction to someone before. Youâre like a magnet to him. You whimper around the material when his tongue slides through your folds.Â
Joel doesnât hesitate to lavish attention on your cunt, spreading your thighs apart with his hands you seem so obsessed with. Groaning at the first and second whimpers that you give him. You havenât asked him for this, but he wants to, wants to have you cum for him. Loves making you cum and your thighs shake around his ears.
Your head tilts back to hit the wall where he hasn't installed the mirror yet. Your eyes closing as you arch your back so he can access more of you. You moan around the panties, his thumbs spreading your lips to suck on your clit.
Your thighs press his head and you roll your hips down, making Joel groan into your folds. You arenât screaming yet, your moans are muffled by your panties and itâs thrilling. The door into the bathroom is still opened and your parents could come or Tommy could walk in at any moment. His eyes flicker up to watch your face as he sucks.
You couldnât care less if someone sees you right now. His tongue is magic against your clit. Harsh but perfect as he sucks and licks. His fingers slide along your thighs, pushing your thighs back out to give him room to make you fall apart on his tongue.
He doesnât rush you, keeping the rhythm of his tongue steady and he flicks his tongue against your hole before sucking on your clit again. Groaning quietly as he devours you.
You pant around the pace, your chest heaving as he works you higher. His tongue flicking and lapping then he sucks on your clit and your thighs start to shake around his head. His name is muffled as you moan it as you get closer and closer. When he pushes his tongue deep, curling it and his nose presses against your clit, you fall apart. Your cry is silenced but he knows youâve fallen over the edge by the way your thighs squeeze his head.
He can feel the rapid pulse of your heart pumping blood through your veins and he loves it. Keeping his tongue curled up inside you, his curved nose pressed against your clit as he feels your arousal flood his tongue. Your thighs squeeze his head and he huffs slightly when your fingers grip his hair, not letting you push him away just yet.
You whine around your panties when it becomes too much, his tongue languidly swiping over your clit but you're too sensitive. Your hands finally succeed in pushing his head away and he smirks up at you, cocky because he made you fall apart under his tongue.
âJoel!â Joel can move fast when he needs to, lurching to his feed and out the door while you are still sprawled on the counter. Tommy pauses at the door to the master bedroom.Â
âYeah?â He grumbles slightly. âDamn near thought you cut a finger off. Whatâre you yellinâ for?â Tommy snorts at the grumpy attitude of his older brother and shakes his head.Â
âIâm headed out, you sure you donât wanna grab a burger?â He offers, making Joel shake his head.Â
âNah, packed a lunch.â He smirks. âEven have dessert, ate that already though.âÂ
You scramble off of the vanity, shoving your dress down and spitting out your panties to shove them in your bra. Your face is burning from nearly getting caught but your pussy is throbbing from arousal at the fact that his brother nearly caught you. Tommy stares at his brother, eyebrows raised at his shiny chin, but he doesn't say anything. He doesn't need to when his older brother stares at him as if to say 'don't you dare.'
Tommy holds up his hands and smirks slightly. âAlright..uh, you should finish up the tile in there today?â He asks, nodding to the bathroom.Â
âYeah.â Joel nods and shoots daggers at his brother, wanting him to leave. âHave a good lunch.â He tells him pointedly.Â
Tommy shakes his head, a small chuckle escaping his lips. He isn't dumb. He's seen the way you and Joel look at each other and he doesn't care so long as your parents don't get pissed and blame the company for Joel fucking their daughter while doing the renovations. He's happy that Joel is finally getting some. It's been a couple of years since Tess died and he deserves some happiness after so long. Tommy leaves, purposefully slamming the door shut and you come out of the bathroom, "oh God. He knows, doesn't he?" You ask Joel, slightly mortified.
âTommyâs not stupid.â Joel answers. âHe wonât say anything.â He wonders if you would want to stop now, ashamed that someone other than you and him might know. He grins at you and glances down at the slight bulge under your shirt. âStill not wearing any panties?â He asks lecherously. âDo you want me to fuck you in the bathroom or bend you over mommy and daddyâs bed?â Heâs half joking, but he would do it if you wanted.Â
You smirk, loving that he isn't put off by his brother knowing. "Oh God. I want - the bed. Want you inside of me. Want you to fill me up." You confess, knowing how wrong this is but your pussy is dripping as you stare at him, chest heaving.
âLay down at the end of the bed.â Joel orders, reaching down to unbuckle his belt to unbutton his jeans. âGonna put your legs up on my shoulders and fill your pussy with my cum right there on your parents bed like weâre fucking rebellious teenagers.â The fact that Joelâs not too much younger than your parents doesnât matter, you make him feel younger.
You obey immediately, laying down on the bed and you shove your dress up to your waist. You watch him unbuckle his belt, his cock hard and aching as he pulls it out. You never get over the size of his length. âFuck me, daddy.â You tease, spreading your legs for him.
âFuck, do you want me to stay hard?â He huffs, pumping his cock in his hand and rolling his eyes at you. You giggle, not remorseful in the least and he shuffles forward. âIâm going to make you scream now that we are alone.â He warns with a smirk.
You moan when he slides his cock through your folds. âPlease.â You whimper, your stomach clenching as you look up at him. âWant you to make me scream.â You demand, your hands caressing his forearms. He notches his cock at your entrance and grabs your wrists, lifting them over your head to press them into the mattress as he pushes into you.
âSo goddamn tight.â He hisses. âBest little pussy Iâve ever fucked.âÂ
You love his compliments. Heâs not a man of many words but fuck, heâs so sexy. Your feet are behind his head as he lifts your calves onto his shoulders, practically folding you in two as you take his cock. âOh my God. I think youâre in my throat this time.â You pant, closing your eyes.
âGood.â He huffs, rocking his hips forward sharply as he moves your legs up from his waist to his shoulders. Leaning forward, he braces his hands on the bed, flashing a smirk before he starts to destroy your pussy.
You moan when he starts to move, pushing deep and hard. âYes yes yes!â You squeal, your head tilting back and you close your eyes.Â
âLook at me.â He demands, âfucking - keep your eyes open.â Your eyes flutter open and you look at him above you, his jaw clenched as he rocks into you. He stares down at you, his jaw clenched as he fucks you hard enough to shake the bed, the headboard starting to bang against the wall. âFuck, dirty little slut.â He grunts. âSo desperate for my cock youâre letting me fuck you on your parents bed.â
âYes. Your - your slut. Oh God. Your cock. Only your cock drives me to do this.â You cry out, âso good. You - you fill me up so well.â You moan as he grinds deep into you. âJoel. So - so fucking good.â You cry as he fucks you hard and fast.
He can feel how close you are, bending down even more so he can press his lips to yours and the short hair above his cock grinds against your clit. âCum.â He demands breathlessly. âWant you to cum.â
You practically wail, your eyes closing as you fall apart. âOh my - Joel! Joel! Joel!â You squeal as you clamp down on his cock, soaking him with your cum.
Joel groans, eyes rolling back as you pack down around him. Having to really thrust his hips to move as he tries to work you through. âFuck!â He yells, grabbing your thighs and straightening up as he continues to drill into you.
You watch him, your body pushed up the bed. âCome on. Cum for me, baby. Wanna feel it. Wanna feel you spill inside of me. Come on.â You egg him on, clenching around him as he drills into you until he stutters, his cock throbbing as he fills you up. âThatâs it. Oh shit. Never gets old. Love watching you cum.â
Joel grunts and groans as he finally stops cumming. Panting and his work rough hands caress your legs. âFucking love cumming in you.â He watches as he pulls out, spreading your thighs to watch his cum start to push out of your cunt. âThat is a pretty sight.â
You giggle as he watches your pussy for a moment until he lets your legs down from his shoulders. âYou wanna have your lunch?â You ask, knowing heâs gotta be hungry after that and he does need a lunch break. He nods and you gingerly shift off of the bed, âIâll tidy up. Go eat.â You demand, rubbing his shoulder.
Joel tucks himself away and goes downstairs to where his lunch box is sitting in the kitchen. He really had packed a lunch because of Tommy and he opens it quickly. He knows that Tommy wonât say a word, but he will give him shit for taking too long on the lunch break.
****
You bite your lip as you watch Joel work, his shoulders moving with each motion of the brush while he paints the wall. He senses your presence and turns to look at you. Tommy is on a coffee run and your parents are out. "Hey trouble." He smirks at you and you step closer to him.Â
"Hey handsome." You don't mess around, knowing you don't have a lot of time so you squeeze him through his pants.
âWhat are you doing?â He hisses, glancing around the room as if someone could walk in at any second. You laugh, making him glare at you and you squeeze him again.Â
âI want to suck your cock.â You tell him, making him hiss again, this time his hardening cock jump against your palm. You smirk as he twitches under your touch. âNo one is here. Just us.â You reassure him, your fingers sliding up to unbuckle his belt. Your nimble fingers unbutton his jeans and you reach in to pull out his half hard cock. âWanna taste you.â You murmur as you shift to kneel down in front of him, paint splattered on his pants.
âFuck.â Joel groans, looking down to find you watching him under your lashes while your tongue slides along the growing length of his cock. Heâs never had someone blow him in their parents kitchen, and heâs not going to turn you down when you are so eager for it.
You kiss along his length as you feel him harden against your lips. His hands gripping the kitchen counter as he watches you. You moan when you wrap your lips around the head, loving the spurt of pre-cum hitting your tongue. Salty and all Joel. You canât seem to get enough of him.
Itâs fucking incredible, your mouth is hot and wet, tongue eagerly sliding against his shaft. You fucking take him deeper and the first groan bubbles out of his throat. Making you smirk, stretching your lips around him.
He hisses your name and you brace your hands on his thighs. The denim is rough under your palms and you keep your eyes on him. Your moan vibrates up his cock as you take him even deeper, your pussy throbbing at the groan that escapes his lips.
His hips push forward sharply, during his cock even deeper into your mouth. Making you gag as he grabs the back of your head and takes over. Holding you still while he thrusts into your mouth, loving how your hands grab at his hips and your throat contracts around him.
You let him use your mouth, the groans escaping his mouth combined with the grunts make you slide your hand into your shorts to rub your clit. Letting him hold your head and your eyes water as you allow him to use you.
âSo fucking good.â He groans. âDonât know whatâs better, your pussy or your mouth.â He catches sight of your hand in your shorts and moans. âThatâs right, play with your pussy while I fuck your throat, little girl.â
You moan around him again, choking a second later when he pushes deeper, the curls at the base of his cock brushing your nose, and you rub your clit a little faster. His hands still grip your head, using you and rocking his hips a little faster.
Even as often as Joel is getting sex, heâs still working himself close to cumming quickly. Your mouth is perfect, the pressure around his length too much for him to be able to stand for too long. âGonna cum down your throat.â He promises. âFill- fuck- you up.â His hips stutter and his stomach lurches. âFuck- gonna-â he chokes out a groan as his cock pushed deep down your throat and starts to throb.
Joel grunts as you swallow around him one more time, spent now the last spurts have been swallowed. His hand softens on your cheek and he stops rocking his hips, eyes looking at your own watery ones.
You let his softening cock drop from your mouth as he caresses your cheek and you offer him a soft smile, enjoying how relaxed he looks right now. âFuck baby. So- you look so good.â You murmur, throat a little sore, ânot stressed.â
He chuckles softly, smirking at you slightly. âHard to be stressed when I just came.â He rubs his thumb over your lips. âHow are you, little girl? You need to cum? Want me to rub your little clit?â
You nod, shifting to stand on shaky legs. He helps you up after tucking his cock away and spins you to press your against the counter where he was standing. âJoel.â You whimper when his hands squeeze your tits. âI want to cum.â
His hand slides down from your shoulder to your tit, squeezing it and then gliding down to your stomach. Hitting your shorts and diving under the elastic waistband, and groaning when he finds youâre not wearing any underwear. âFuck baby.â He groans. âYouâre always ready to take me. Ainât ya?â
You nod, mouth falling open as his fingers find your clit. Heâs been the best part of returning home. Working from your childhood bedroom has allowed you to run riot with Joel over your parentsâ house and itâs been amazing.
âThaaaatâs it.â He coos, smirking smugly at the way your body jerks and pulls taunt as he rubs. Knowing that heâs touching you exactly like you need to be touched. âSuch a good girl for me. Doing so good. I know you want to cum.â
âNeed to - God. Need to cum.â You pant, head tilting back as his calloused fingertips rub your clit expertly. He knows your body inside out by now. âJoel, baby. Shit. Know just what I need.â
He knows that you are just praising him because heâs giving you pleasure. He hums and presses his lips to the bottom of your ear. âYouâre doing so good for me.â
You moan, âneed - fingers inside of me.â You plead and he nods, shifting his hand further into your shorts so he can push two thick digits inside of your dripping pussy. âYesss.â You cry, gripping his shirt as he pushes you into the counter.
He doesnât stop, curling and pumping his fingers deep inside your cunt. Pressing you close and pushing his thigh between your legs to keep them splayed open. âCome on baby, soak my fingers.â
You pant, fingers curling in his shirt as he pushes you higher and higher. âOh God. I -fuck Joel. Joel baby. Iâm gonna - shit. Shit. Shit.â You cry out, clamping down on his digits as he sends you over the edge. His thumb pressed against your clit and you slump against him while your thighs shake against his knee.
Joel watched you closely, enjoying the way your entire body reacts to your pleasure and he hums softly. âThatâs it. You just melt against me.â
You inhale deeply, leaning in to breathe him in. Your lips press against his neck, âso good.â You murmur as he withdraws his hand from your shorts just as the front door opens. Joel steps away from you immediately and your parents walk in. âHey Joel. Howâs it going?â Your dad asks and you exhale shakily, stepping over to the fridge Joel installed the day before.
âItâs going good.â Joel acknowledges, sliding his hands into his pockets and leaning back like he just hadnât had his fingers buried in the other manâs daughter. âWe should be finished up right on schedule. Just finishing the tile and trim and sheâll be done.â He glances around and the completely redone kitchen.
You are disappointed that Joel will be done sooner rather than later. Youâve had weeks of sex and youâre not sure what youâre going to do when heâs done. Luckily, he still has the bathrooms to finish along with the laundry room and the flooring in the bedrooms. âHeâs done a good job so far.â You comment and your mom smiles, agreeing. âWe are having a BBQ tomorrow with the neighbors. Weather is perfect and we wondered if you and Tommy wanna join us?â Your dad asks the older Miller brother.
âI- uh, yeah, sure.â Joel doesnât often socialize with his clients, but he also doesnât normally bang their daughters either. He bites his lip and shrugs. âWhat can I bring? I donât know if I would trust something I cooked, but I can bring cups, beer, whatever you need.â
Your dad nods, âbeer would be awesome. Just bring you and Tommy can bring Maria. Want to thank you guys for doing such an amazing job so far.â He says and reaches out to slap Joel on his upper arm. Your lover nods, his dark eyes glancing at you and you offer him a soft smile, wanting to let him know you want him to come to the cookout.
****
You see Joel across the lawn, sipping a beer and talking to Tommy and his wife, Maria. The entire street is here for the cookout and you sip your vodka seltzer while Darlene from two doors down talks to you about her lawyer son who would be âjust perfect for you.â âHe sounds perfect for Sallyâs daughter.â You point to the other woman who is talking to your mom and you make your way across the lawn to the Miller family. âHey guys. Everyone is amazed by the kitchen and half bath. My parents have given your number out to nearly everyone here so you should be busy for the rest of the year.â You grin, shifting in your short sundress.
âGood.â Tommy looks very pleased by the prospect and rubs Mariaâs back. âThis is my wife, Maria.â He boasts. âAnd soon to be the next Miller.âÂ
Joelâs lips press together but he relaxes his jaw so itâs not obvious heâs uncomfortable. âThatâs good.â He nods, holding up a case of beer in each hand. He has splurged on the good stuff since he didnât think your dad drank PBR. âWhere do you want these?â
You greet Maria, âIâve heard a lot about you. All good things.â You promise, offering her a smile and she says âIâve heard a lot about you too.â Her eyes look at Joel and he avoids his sister in law. âYou can put them on the bar.â You tell Joel, escorting him over to the table full of buckets of ice and various drinks.
âThanks.â He puts the beers down on the bar and turns towards you. âSoâŠwhat now?â He asks. âI talk to all his friends about remodeling their bathrooms?â He chuckles quietly.
âThat orâŠwe could find somewhere private and you could show me how you manage to get your grout lines so straight?â You smirk, biting your lip and you glance around to make sure no one is watching you. âUnless youâd prefer I leave you with the neighborhood watch mom group over there?â You flick your eyes over to the gaggle of middle aged women who are not so discreetly eying Joel.
âFuck no.â Joel snorts, looking over at the group of women and then shooting you an annoyed look. He doesnât want to be fending off those vultures all night. âWhere do you want to go?â He asks, wiping his hands on his jeans and feeling a little out of place even though he had showered and even trimmed up his facial hair for tonight. His jeans arenât ripped or paint stained and his flannel shirt is practically new.
You trail your eyes along his figure, stomach twisting at how good he looks tonight. He smells good too. âI have a treehouse. Used to go in it when I was a kid. You want to join me in there? I might want to upgrade the flooring.â You tease, grabbing your drink and spinning around, you glance over your shoulder at him as you make your way through the yard to the treehouse.
Joel grabs a beer, ignoring the women who are staring after him and follows you outside. Thereâs enough people here that most of them are talking and not paying any attention when you disappear around the back of a tree and Joel reaches the base just in time to catch a glimpse of your bare ass as you climb. âFuckinâ too old for this shit.â He grunts quietly, shoving his beer into his pocket and climbing up after you.
You giggle as he climbs up, âcome on Miller. Whereâs your sense of adventure?â You ask him as you step up onto the treehouse your grandfather built years ago. He was like Joel. Handy and an excellent craftsman. Your dad didnât inherit the gift. âGone when I turned 50.â He groans as he steps into the treehouse. Itâs not creaking when he shifts his weight and he hums, impressed with the structure. You sit down on the beanbag, holding your drink up. âYou look good for your age.â You hum, taking a sip.
He rolls his eyes and huffs as he sits down, knees creaking slightly. âFor my age, huh?â He pulls the beer out of his pocket and opens the can. âTo aging gracefully.â He toasts, holding the can up and then taking a sip of the cold brew.
You smile, watching him in your childhood treehouse is a bizarre experience but you love it. âYou do look really good tonight.â You compliment him, âI like the clean look a lot. I do think I like the dirty look more, though. Rugged, sexy, capable.â You flirt, âand you can still get it up.â You tease, âmost of the time.â You joke about the time he was about to fuck you and your parentsâ old fashioned house phone voice sounded out their voicemail. Your dad telling you to take the chicken out of the freezer. He went soft as soon as he heard your dad.
âCanât believe you still hold that against me.â He snorts. âBeen thirty fuckinâ years since Iâve been worried about somebodyâs daddy walkinâ in.â He grunts, staring at the way your thighs spread teasingly. His cock twitches in his jeans and like every time heâs around you, he starts to harden. âSo did you bring me up here to fuck?â He asks. âOr just get away from everyone?â
âBoth.â You tilt your head, âI donât - I have to confess, Iâve never been so sexually attracted to anyone. I want you. All the time. Like I even touch myself thinking about you at night.â You know youâre giving him all the cards but you mean what you say. âSoâŠwe can talk since I saved you from the neighborhood ladies flirting with you and the husbands asking for your advice on their latest DIY projectâŠor we can fuck and you gotta keep me quiet since they could definitely hear us up here.â
âHow wet are you?â Joel asks, eyeing the exposed skin as your thighs spread again. Youâve talked between flirting and fucking, but the idea of you walking around the party dripping his cum is one he really likes.
You bite your lip and lift your dress higher, spreading your legs to expose your wet folds to his dark gaze. âSoaking wet for you. Ever since you walked into the party.â You confess, sliding your hand down to rub your clit.
âSpread your lips apart.â Joel orders quietly. âRub slower.â He twitches in his jeans and reaches down to palm himself as he watches you touch yourself. Youâve not really had time for more than frantically rushed fucking, so now he can watch you. See what you like to do to yourself when youâre thinking about him.
You set your drink down and reach down with your other hand, spreading your lips to show him your puffy clit. Your eyes on him as you slowly rub the bundle of nerves and he squeezes his cock through his jeans. You like the way heâs ordering you.
âThatâs good, just like that.â He grunts. âSlide your fingers through your slick and then rub your clit again. Gotta make sure youâre nice and wet. But youâre always so fucking wet.â He unbuttons his jeans and reveals that heâs not wearing any underwear, pulling out his cock and then spitting in his hand to wrap around it and pump slowly.
You whimper, mouth almost watering when you see this thick cock in his hand. You follow his order, sliding your fingers down to gather up your slick and you bring it back to your clit, rubbing it a little faster. âAlways wet around you. Just looking at you gets me wet. Especially - shit - especially when you strip your shirt off or wear your tank top.â
âLike that, huh?â He grunts and rocks his hips up, working himself into his fist. âYou enjoy being fucked. That pretty pussy needs to be fucked as often as possible.â
You whine slightly as he pumps his cock a little faster. âJoel. Please. Let me - let me sit on your cock. Wanna feel you inside of me. Want you to cum inside of me.â You beg pathetically, pulling your hand away from your clit.
âWhat are you waiting for?â He demands, still pumping himself. âYou want to ride, you have to come to me.â Youâve never ridden him before but he wants to see your tits bounce in his face. âPull out your other tit and come sit on my cock.â
You pull down the straps of your dress, exposing your tits and you shift out of the bean bag, straddling his thighs and he holds his cock up so you can sink down on him. âFuckkk.â You whimper, eyes fluttering closed as he stretches you out.
âShhhh shhhh.â He covers your mouth with his hand, the other behind your neck to hold you firm while he bottoms out in your aching pussy. âSilent.â He whispers, knowing that no one at the party can hear, but you will get loud if he doesnât warn you. Breathing against his fingers, he groans quietly when your pussy flutters. âYou like that, huh?â He grunts. âHolding your mouth closed while you ride my cock? Is that how to keep you quiet?â
Your hands grip his wrist, eyes wide as you nod. You want him to keep you quiet. His cock twitches inside of you and you whimper against his palm. âShhhh.â He coos, âride me.â He demands softly and you nod, lifting your thighs to pull up off of his cock nearly all the way. You sink back down onto him.
He watches you, feeling the shuddered breaths against his palm, warming it. Thinking that you are fucking gorgeous and too good for him as you grind back down into his lap. Wanting him as deep as possible while you lean back to find the perfect angle for his cock inside you. âGood girl.â He praises, voice low. âMake yourself cum.â
You love his voice. Deep and gruff. His orders have you fluttering around his cock already. Knowing that anyone at the party could figure out that you are together, up here, having sex. Your nails dig into his forearm slightly and you rock a little faster, your thighs aching but you donât care. You want to cum and you want him to follow you.
Joelâs hips stay down, letting you have complete control of the ride, although he pulls you up straighter by your head. Just enough for him to duck down and wrap his lips around one of your nipples. Biting it before sucking it onto his mouth and lavishing attention on it.
You cry into his palm, muffled as he bites down on your nipple and you tangle your fingers in his hair as you ride him a little faster. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as you find the right angle for the head of his cock to rub against your g-spot.
Joel grunts, sucking and biting on your breast while you gallop on his cock. Loving how your moans are muffled by his hand and his cock twitches. He loves how you demand pleasure and are willing to take it for yourself.
You moan into his palm, so close to your orgasm. He switches to your other nipple and it sends you over the edge. You clamp down on his cock, soaking him and your cry threatens to bubble past his palm but he presses his hand harder against your mouth to smother your cry. His groan is soft against your breast as you grip him and you shake above him.
Your hands slide down from his hair to his shoulders, caressing his upper back as he paints your walls with his cum. His hand drops from your mouth as he grips your waist and you rest your head on top of his. âSo good, baby. So fucking good.â You gasp, âcanât get enough of you.â
Joel chuckles quietly as you both ride out your orgasms, panting softly. âI can tell.â He teases quietly, running his hand down your spine. âGood baby?â
You nod against his head, âso good. Fuck, Joel. Wish you could stay inside of me alllll the time.â You tease, running your fingers through his salt and pepper locks. âI am gonna be dripping your cum at this party.â
âI know.â He smirks at you and waggles his brows. âIâve thought about that before you ever even climbed in my lap.â He pats your hip lightly, leaning back and sighing, relaxed and loose now. He picks up his beer and takes a swallow, his cock softening inside you.
You watch him, your gaze softening until you clear your throat and shift off of his lap. You grab your own drink after you pull your dress into place, sitting down in the bean bag. Joel is quiet as he sips his beer and you shift in the bean bag. âIâm gonna head down, clean up. Come down whenever youâre ready. Itâs better that we are seen separately.â You murmur, groaning as you stand up and his cum starts to drip down your thigh. You wink at him as you climb down the ladder and make your way into the house to clean up. When you come out of the bathroom, you are grabbing a snack in the kitchen when your mom approaches you. âSweetheart, we - your dad and I wanted to talk to you. We noticed you and Joel go up to your treehouse and we - weâve seen the way you look at him. Youâre an adult and after what that asshole did to you, you deserve to have some fun but honeyâŠJoel is complicated.â You open your mouth to respond but she shakes her head, âyou donât know his past. Youâve been away from home for a long time and we - your dad knew Joel from his coworkers. Joel lost his daughter. She was thirteen. He lost her and his wife - she left him when his daughter was two. Heâs got a lot of baggage and Iâm worried that he will hurt you because he doesnât want to - heâs not the dating kind.â She explains and your jaw clenches.Â
âMom, I donât want to date him. We are having fun. PleaseâŠI know I have kept this for you. Been doing this under your roof and Iâm sorry for that but Iâm not sorry about Joel. Heâs fun and I- I deserve to have some fun. Iâm not marrying the guy.â You scoff, crossing your arms. She nods and grabs her wine glass, neither of you aware that Tommy was lingering in the hallway.
Tommy finds Joel nursing a beer and listening to one of your fatherâs neighbors talk about the bathroom that he wanted to remodel. Obviously wanting a quote, sight unseen. âHey, can I talk to you for a second?â Tommy asks Joel, nodding in apology to the potential customer. Once he gets him alone, Tommy shuffles nervously. âSo I heard somethingâŠ..âÂ
Joel clenches his jaw as Tommy relays the conversation that he had heard between you and your mother. âRight.â He spits after a moment, glancing over at you and then back at his brother. âThink Iâm going to call it a night.â He decides.
You frown when you donât see Joel anymore and you ask Tommy where he went. The younger Miller brother is a little cold towards you and tells you his brother went home, decided to call it a night. You nod and thank him and Maria for coming when he tells you they are leaving. Youâre confused Joel didnât say goodbye but you suppose thatâs his MO.Â
****
The next day, Joel is back working in the house and you glance around to see where Tommy is before you waltz over to him, a smile on your face. âHey handsome. Working in my bedroom today?â You ask, âI need some help moving the bed.â
Joel looks up at you for a brief moment and then back down at his tools. âTommy and I will move it. Iâd prefer it if you werenât in the room.â He tells you. âLiability.â He doesnât look back up and doesnât say another word while you are standing there waiting for him to take you up on your obvious overture.
Your smile falls, his gaze turning back to his tools and you deflate. âOh, uh, okay. Sure. I can take my work to the living room.â You step back, wondering if heâs had a bad morning. You leave the hallway without another word and grab your laptop, heading downstairs to work. Later that afternoon, Tommy is out getting their lunch and you walk into your bedroom to find Joel working on ripping up the old carpet. âYou need a drink?â You hold out the bottle of water, âfigured you could use a break while you wait for Tommy to get back.â You bend over so he can look down your shirt at your tits.
âIâm good.â He doesnât look up, not wanting to see your tits or your legs on display. âHave a bottle over there.â He doesnât even stop working and just nods his head towards his tool bag. âBe finished by tomorrow.â His words are short and clipped.
Thereâs definitely something wrong. You frown and huff, standing up straight and you donât leave right away. You uncap the bottle and tilt your head back, chugging half the water. With a dramatic sigh of satisfaction, you spin on your heel and leave the room.
Joel continues working but he sighs, hating that he had ever thought that you would want him. He was stupid, he had started to care about you. Way too much, it was better to just keep things professional between you. He was the contractor, nothing more.
****
A couple of days pass by and you ignore Joel and Tommyâs presence in the house, deciding to work at some coffee shops instead, but today is a gorgeous day. The sun is shining, you donât need to work, so you decide to sit in the sun and have a drink. You walk into the kitchen where Joel is sitting, looking over his materials, and you open the fridge to grab a drink while dressed in the smallest bikini you own. Just because heâs ignoring you doesnât mean he wonât notice you. Maybe heâs in a bad mood. Youâd forgive him if he touched you again.
The muscles in Joelâs jaws have been getting a workout. Clenching every time you walk into a room half naked and primping around. He knows what you are doing and itâs starting to piss him off. He's ached for days, having to go home and jerk off after work every night like heâs a teenager again. âNeed to put some fucking clothes on.â He grumbles under his breath.
You turn your head to look at him, âdid you say something?â He shakes his head and you hum, taking your drink outside to the sun loungers your parents had bought for the summer. You sigh as you lay down in view on the kitchen window. Taking off your top to sunbathe.
It takes him about fifteen minutes to notice you. Hissing in anger when he sees your tits on display. He grabs one of his work rags and stalks outside angrily. âCover yourself up.â He growls, tossing the rag over your chest. âMy fucking brother doesnât want to see your tits and his wife certainly doesnât want him to.â
You glare at him from behind your sunglasses. âYour brother isnât here, asshole.â You toss the rag back at him. âItâs my day off. I wanted to relax and you are interrupting that.â You hiss at him, âand itâs not like you havenât seen it all before.â
âFuck this.â He growls. âIâm done for the day.â Heâs pissed off and needs to get away from you.
You huff, grabbing the rag back. âYou donât need to leave. Iâll go inside. If you leave, youâll need more time to finish your work and I donât want you staying longer than necessary. You might as well stay and Iâll go inside. Give you a break from my tits.â You growl, shifting to stand up from the lounger.
âIâm just the help, right?â He scoffs. âSomeone to use and have fun with?â Hearing what you had said hurt because Tommy had said you had seemed appalled that your mother figured it out. âSo I think itâs best that I keep things professional. So thereâs no confusion. Not like youâd want people to know you were getting fucked by the carpenter.â He shakes his head. âIâll have Tommy finish up this job.â
âI- I didnât - you heard my conversation with my mom? I was - I was trying to save your ass. Itâs not exactly professional to sleep with your client's daughter. I- it was fun. Until you decided to be an asshole. I figured you wanted to keep it casual and I want to know more about you but we donât exactly have time to sit down and tell our life story.â
âTommy heard you.â He corrects, wondering if youâre just trying to cover your ass or if you were trying to protect him. He waits for a moment, biting his lip. âIf you want to know about me, Iâll be at Bill & Frankâs tonight.â He tells you, planning on going to the dive bar that Frank has tried to make a little more classy. âUp to you.â
You nod, knowing itâs best to not push him anymore right now. You grab your bikini top and head inside, deciding to leave him be and meet him later. You head back inside and you donât look back, figuring that heâd want to be left alone.Â
****
You brush your dress down, looking up at the crooked sign for Bill and Frankâs and you inhale deeply. Reaching for the door, you head inside and itâs a weird mix of old fashioned saloon and an afternoon tea shop. Lace doilies on the tables with small lamps and worn coasters. The artwork on the wall says âeighty year old womanâ while the floor is sticky.
âWell that doesnât walk in here often.â Bill grunts, looking at the door with an almost annoyed glare, which was normal for the cantankerous bar owner. âTrouble if Iâve ever seen.âÂ
Joel looks over his shoulder to see you and snorts. âSurprised you noticed.â He huffs at the other man, smirking slightly when the bearded man shifts his glare to him. âDonât worry, I wonât tell Frank.â Heâs sort of friends with Bill and Frank, the proprietors of the little bar. Or itâs better to say, Tess was really good friends with Frank, so Bill and Joel had tolerated each other. After Tess had died, Joel had found himself still coming back.
You spot Joel at the bar and make your way over. He turns to look at you, âhey.â He grunts and you offer him a soft smile as he pulls the bar stool out next to him for you to sit down. He slides the shot he had sitting in front of him over to you and you donât hesitate to tilt your head back as you down it. Bill snorts, wiping down the counter, âwhat can I get you?â He asks and you order a beer. âI didnât know if youâd be here. You didnât give me a time.â
âSorry.â He grunts, lifting his beer to his lips and takes a sip. âFigured youâd come and Iâd be here.â Bill chuckles as he wipes down the bar with a rag, smirking slightly at the sight of Joel and another woman. âYou on a date, Miller?â He cackles.
âJoel is working on my parentsâ house.â You explain and Bill snorts, âthis is the hussy thatâs got you running around in circles?â He asks and your eyebrows raise. Joel shakes his head, âgo get her drink and get Frank out here if you canât be nice.â He orders and you huff, âbeen talking me up, huh?â Joel shrugs and you sigh, âI suppose I deserve that. I havenât exactly treated you fairly. It wasnât just fun for me. I wanted more.â You admit softly, looking down at the counter.
Joel snorts as Bill walks away and cuts you a look before he takes another sip of his beer. âIâm old, little girl.â He reminds you. âYouâre a hell of a lot younger, wanting things I canât give you. Like kids and shit.â
You tap your fingers on the counter, closing your eyes for a second. âWe never had a discussion about birth control other than me telling you it was taken care of. The truth isâŠmy ex cheated on me.â You take a deep breath, âhe cheated on me because I found out Iâm infertile. We tried for a year. Figured we would do the tests when we discovered that I canât - I have PCOS and it was bad. They did some tests and scans and I had to have my ovaries removed then he - he cheated on me. Sheâs pregnant. Thatâs why I moved home. I was in his house and I was sure he was going to propose since he seemed to accept that we wouldnât have biological kids but he - he cheated and I moved home. So to answer your question, I canât have kids.â
âWhat a fucker.â He growls, angry on your behalf. âThatâs a shit thing to do.â He will never understand someoneâs need to cheat. Those people are complete scumbags in his eyes and heâs done a lot of shit heâs regretted. âIâm sorry, you deserve better than that douche bag. It doesnât matter if you canât give him kids.â
You nod, âit did to him. Iâm glad I found out what heâs really like. Better to happen like that instead of when we have had adopted two kids and Iâm stuck with him.â You confess just as another man comes over to set your beer down along with another for Joel. The man, you assume he is Frank, says your name. âRight? The pretty girl youâve been telling us about. Sheâs as beautiful as you described, Joel.â Frank says and you fluster, looking at Joel who is busy studying the grain of wood on the counter. âThereâs a condom machine in the bathroom.â Frank winks as he walks off to serve another patron.
âJesus Christ.â Joel hisses under his breath, squirming slightly in his seat in embarrassment. âGonna stop fucking coming here.â He gripes even as he picks up his new beer.
You giggle softly, âhe heard all the details, huh?â You tease and you nudge him gently. âItâs fine. I didnât know you cared so much, Miller.â You take a sip of your beer and glance around the bar, feeling someoneâs eyes on you. A man, younger than Joel but shorter, is staring at you and you offer him a nod before you turn back to the counter.
Joel glances around and doesnât really think anything of the people in the bar. Plenty of people are flirting and having a good time. Frank is down the bar waiting on another couple and he wonders if you want to get some food.
Frank sets another round of drinks down in front of you after he serves the couple down the bar. âOn the house. Itâs been a while since I saw Joel smile. Especially not since Tess died.â He says and you frown, turning to look at Joel.
He owes you an explanation. âTess was my- we were-â he fumbles for the proper way to describe his relationship with Tess. The ache was still there, deep inside him just like when he lost Sarah. âShe was mine.â He finally settled on just that. âShe died. Two years ago.â
You can see the pain in his eyes, losing someone else that he loved. Your dad told you more about Joel losing his daughter, Sarah, to a gunman in a gas station robbery that went wrong. Your heart aches for him. You reach for his hand, âIâm so sorry, Joel.â You murmur, knowing that thereâs nothing else you could say.
Sorries always make Joel uncomfortable. It canât change the past or bring back Sarah, or Tess. âThanks.â He mumbles and drains the rest of his first beer. âI need to piss.â He tells you as he stands. âBe right back.â
You nod, watching him go. You take a sip of your beer and sense a presence beside you as soon as Joel disappears. âHey baby. You done babysitting the old man? Wanna have some real fun?â He asks and you scoff, âheâs not old.âÂ
The guy leans against the counter next to you. âBet he needs viagra to get it up.â He scoffs and you snort, âthat âold manâ can make my legs shake and make me moan his name more than anyone Iâve ever met.â You say and he says, âuntil you met me.â He smirks, leaning in and you jerk back.Â
âPlease fuck off.â You order, hating how he wonât take the hint. âCome on baby, donât be mean. Gimme a chance to make you cum.â He coos, reaching for your wrist.Â
âGet the fuck off of me.â You hiss, trying to jerk your wrist out of his grip but he doesnât let go.
Joel comes out of the bathroom, walking into the bar and the first thing he sees is you trying to pull your arm out of some assholeâs grip. The fucker not letting you go and Joelâs jaw clenches and his fists bunch together. âOh shit.â Frank hisses, knowing what that look means. âJoel! Joel! Donât do it! Joel!â Joel doesnât even hear him as he crosses the bar in less than ten seconds and is dragging the asshole off of you. Whirling him around and punching him down to the ground before climbing on top of him and whaling away in an angry haze.
Your eyes widen and a shocked gasp escapes your lips as Joel continues to punch the asshole. âJoel. Joel. Stop!â You demand, knowing heâs going to kill the guy if you let him continue. You reach for his shoulder as he pulls his fist back again but he shrugs you off, his vision going red. Bill rushes around the bar, grabbing Joelâs waist to pull him off of the guy before he punches his face in. âCome on, man.â Bill grunts, dragging Joel off just enough for Frank to get in front of him. âGo. You gotta go.â Frank tells you when he hears someone calling 911. âTake Joel. Go.â Frank urges, knowing Joel canât afford another arrest. âMotherfucker.â Joel growls, trying to get out of Billâs grip.Â
âStop it,â Bill growls, spinning him to drag him out of the bar. You nod, grabbing your purse and Bill escorts Joel to his truck. âDrive him home.â He orders, shoving Joel into his truck, his fists bloody and skin broken. Your hands shake, taking the key from Bill that he pulled out of Joelâs pocket. You get into the driverâs seat, adjusting the seat, and you barely manage to start the engine. âYou- you gotta tell me where you live.â
Joel doesnât answer you right away, staring down and his hand and flexing it to make sure nothings too broken. Just a few hairline fractures from what he can tell with the adrenaline still running through his system. âJoel!â You snap, making him look up at you, his eyes dark and focused, causing you to nearly shrink back from him. âWhere do you live?â You repeat and he knows heâs in no condition to drive. He murmurs his address and then looks back down at his hand, sirens wailing in the distance.
You drive a little faster when you see the flashing lights on the horizon, wanting Joel to get home safe and sound. Your heart is still pounding but you manage to figure out his street and pull onto it, squinting to see the numbers in the dark. Finally, you pull onto his drive and put the truck in park, killing the engine. âCome on, letâs get you cleaned up.â You murmur, getting out of his truck and rounding it to open the door for him.
Joel follows your instructions, getting out of the truck and following behind you as you climb the steps to the front door of his house. The old craftsman cottage has been a project for him, one that he needed after Tess, but now it is done and it is a beauty.
You unlock his door with the key on his truck key ring and you admire the workmanship that went into the home. Signs of Joelâs hard work are everywhere. You shut the door behind him when he walks in. âDo you have a first aid kit?â You ask and he nods, âlaundry room.â He jerks his chin towards the door across the hall and you nod, âgo sitâ you order before you go find the kit.
He should tell you to go, but he just sits down at the dining room table and sighs. His hand hurts, but heâs fucking still amped up. His leg bouncing slightly as his pulse just jumps around.
You come into the dining room to sit down, opening the kit. Your stomach twists as you look at Joel, the dark look from earlier still not receding from his eyes. Youâre silent as you work on cleaning the blood to assess the damage to his knuckles.
He wants you. The way his cock is twitching and throbbing as you work on him, it should scare him. Scare you. Your thumb brushes over his knuckle and he grabs your hand, making you look at him. âYou should go.â He growls.
Your eyes meet his and you realize he doesnât want you to go. You stare at him for a few moments, trying to figure him out until you say âno.â You wonât go. Not when he needs you and you need him. Sometime between the messing around and having sex, it became serious.
âIâm not going to be gentle.â He warns, wanting to be honest. âI canât be. Not now, not when my fucking-â he cuts himself off. âLast chance.â
You take a moment to wrap his knuckles. âI donât want gentle.â You tell him, your eyes meeting his after you finish wrapping his knuckles with the bandage. âI want you. No matter what. I want you.â You promise, your gaze firm, showing him that youâre not running away.
Joel shoots out of his chair and grabs your shoulders, kissing you roughly, his lips bruising. He wants to destroy you, completely break you apart in a completely different way from how he would have handled that bastard. Wanting to banish the thought of him touching you from his mind and replace it with you.
You gasp into his mouth, his hands lifting you up onto the table and you grip his shirt, wanting to keep him close. Your legs wrapping around his waist and his cock is hard in his pants, pushing into your core. His tongue slides into your mouth and your hands slide up to tangle in his hair, tugging as you react to his rough touch.
Joel growls, biting your bottom lip and itâs like heâs lost all reason on control. He wants nothing more to break you down. His hands are rough and demanding, nearly ripping your dress off your body.
You reach out, fumbling to unbutton his shirt. Every time youâve had sex, heâs been dressed. Tonight, you want to see all of him. You grow impatient and rip his shirt, buttons flying as you shove it down his shoulders to access his skin. Your hands explore his chest when the shirt hits the floor and you lean in, biting down on his peck.
He grunts, cock twitching and he squeezes your hands before he rips your panties off of you. Willing to sacrifice them to his needs.
âOh my God!â You squeal at the ripping of your underwear. âJoel!â You gasp, moaning a second later when his fingers push inside of your dripping wet cunt. You slide your hands down to his belt, unbuckling it and you rip it out of the loops, working fast to unbutton his jeans and pull his hard cock out.
Joel pushes your hands away but you press your thighs together when he tries to step between them. âStrip.â You demand and he growls, needing to be inside you.
Joel kicks his boots off, his jeans hitting the floor and he shoves them across the floor. Naked in front of you for the first time, you lean back to admire his form. His arms are strong, freckled from being in the sun, and he has a slight belly but itâs so sexy. Heâs not overly hairy and your hand lets go of his cock so you can caress his skin. âSo gorgeous.â You murmur, lost in your own thoughts as you admire him.
Joel huffs, shaking his head. âIâm old, youâre gorgeous.â Itâs the small bit of tenderness he can manage right now, but when he grabs you, his hands are harsh. âYouâre not letting that fucker touch you.â He hisses, pushing your thighs apart. âHe couldnât fuck you like I do.â He grabs your leg and pulls it up on his hip, lining up and slamming his cock into your warm and giving cunt in one thrust.
âJoel!â You squeal as he stretches you out. Youâre wet enough to take him but it pinches slightly. You donât care. You grip his arms, lifting your thigh higher so he can push deeper inside of you. âFuck baby.â You pant, tilting your head back as he starts to fuck you.
The table rocks, shaking and scrapping over the floor as he fucks you. Brutally slamming into you before quickly pulling back out to do it again. Savage and feral, his mouth bites and sucks at your tilted throat, needing to possess and mark you as his.
Heâs possessing you with every thrust, bite, mark, and kiss. Youâre surrounded by him. His woodsy smell from the lumber he works with in your nose and you moan, fumbling to cross your ankles behind his back to get him even closer.
He might break the fucking table, but he doesnât care. All he cares about is the way you take him. Your pussy giving way to the harsh thrusts of his cock and squeezing tight around him. He growls and groans, making noises that sound inhuman as he fucks you.
âJoel. Oh my God.â You cry out, your hands scrambling to grip him, needing an anchor as he fucks you hard and fast. Itâs harder than anything youâve ever experienced. Feral and dominating but your cunt is absolutely gushing around him, your stomach clenched with arousal as he rocks into you. âShit. Youâre gonna make me cum.â You pant, reaching down to rub your clit, knowing heâs focused on thrusting into you.
He knows he should ease up, that you deserve tenderness but he doesnât have it in him right now. The rage, the fury, all being taken out on your pussy. âCum.â He grunts, the sound nearly demonic from how raspy he sounds. âCum.â
How can you deny him when he asks you like that? He pounds into you two more times and youâre sent over the edge. Clamping down on him, your scream echoes in his house and your hand falls away from your clit to slam onto the table to keep yourself upright.
Joel hisses your name, so fucking close to cumming himself. Itâs so sexy how easily you cum for him. Hips stuttering, he only manages another few thrusts before he is cumming, painting your walls with his cum as he moans your name again, softly this time.
You slump against him when he cums, his cock twitching inside of you, and you moan softly when he rests his head on top of yours. âJoel.â You murmur, throat closing slightly with emotions that you canât give voice to.
Panting, he closes his eyes, his hands slowly relaxing and he sighs. âAre you- did I hurt you?â He asks softly. He hadnât wanted to actually hurt you, despite being rough.
You shake your head, âno. No you didnât, baby.â You promise, leaning in to kiss his chin and he sighs, turning his head to press his lips to yours. Itâs surprisingly tender after how rough he fucked you. You cup his cheeks, caressing the gray stubble there to show him how much you care for him without actually telling him.
âDo you want to stay?â He nuzzles his nose against yours, realizing you must have left your car at the bar. He hasnât even pulled out of you, but he doesnât really want to. Suddenly tired and ready for bed after the evening.
âYes.â You nod, knowing itâs too late to head home. He pulls out of you, slow enough to not hurt you, and you shift off of his table that has scraped along the floor. âCan I borrow a shirt?â You ask, watching him bend down to grab his jeans, pulling them on.
âYeah, come on baby.â He uses his shirt to wipe up his cum and grabs you a bottle of water out of the fridge. âIâll get you a shirt you can sleep in. Or you can sleep naked beside me.â He jokes, smirking at your wobbly footing when you stand up.
Youâre soon dressed in his shirt, sliding under his sheets that smell just like him, and youâre exhausted. The events of the day hit you hard and you curl around him when he slides in beside you, water bottle placed on your nightstand.
Joel doesnât like sleep, he dreams too much. Of Sarah, Tess and all the mistakes he has made over the years. Haunting him and weighing him down. Tonight, wrapped around you, Joel doesnât dream.
The next morning, you wake up and groan against the sunlight peeking in through the blinds. âJoel?â You call out softly, voice raspy. The smell of bacon and eggs hits your nose and you get out of bed, peeing before you head downstairs to the kitchen. Your eyes widen when you find Joel cooking and sitting at the counter is a teenage girl.
âHoly shit, Joel! You had a sleepover.â Ellie pipes up, making Joel turn around from the stove. âEllie! Language!â He hisses before he catches sight of you. âHey! Uh, good morning. Iâm making breakfast.â He explains, as if it werenât obvious. Ellie snaps her fingers and says your name. âThatâs you, right? Joelâs been talking about you.â
You are trying to figure out who Ellie is. You havenât heard a word about her from Joel. âOh, uh, yeah. Hi Ellie.â You greet her as you come over to Joel who is cooking. âCoffee is in the pot.â He says and you nod, grabbing the mug he left on the side and you pour yourself a cup. You feel awkward in his shirt, your hair all over the place, and you can feel Ellie watching you.
âJoel, Joel, Joel.â Ellie tsks and shakes her head before leveling a mockingly serious look at him when he slides her eggs onto her plate. âDo we need to have the talk, young man?â She snickers. âAre you engaging in safe sex?â She lowers her voice to a pitch that matches the old sex Ed videos. âJesus Christ.â He hisses. âDonât you have school?â
You smirk, finding it refreshing that the teenager is prodding at an otherwise always cool headed Joel. âSafe sex. Iâve looked after him.â You promise her as you lean against the counter and she chuckles, âhe was practically soppy when I came in this morning. I slept over at my friend Rileyâs house.â She explains and you nod, a little relieved she didnât hear you and Joel last night. âIâm leaving for school after Iâve had my breakfast.â She adds, looking over at you. âI'm his foster kid, in case this dumbass didnât tell you.â Ellie says, guessing from your look that you didnât know about her. âI, uh, Iâm sorry. Joel hasnât really told me much.â
âGot lunch money, kid?â He asks, reaching into his pocket and pulling out some money. âItâs pizza day right?â He asks, smirking when she nods and snatches the money out of his hand before she shoves the eggs into her mouth and pops off the stool. âWell, see ya!â
âBye!â You call out as she rushes off and you turn to look at Joel. âAnother secret youâve been keeping.â You tease softly and he snorts, ânot a secret. Just didnât want to drag you into my bullshit.â You shake your head, âthatâs not bullshit. You- she seems like a good kid and youâre looking after her. Youâre a good man, Joel. One I want to know more about. One I could easily fall forâŠmaybe have been already.â You confess, reaching out to touch his arm.
âYouâŠ.â Joel frowns slightly, setting a plate in front of you. âYou like the fact that Iâm an asshole?â He asks it like a question, one that he never considered before.
âI love the fact that youâre an asshole. Youâre not an asshole to meâŠmost of the time. Iâve never felt so wanted. I want - I want all of you, Miller. Even the asshole.â You joke, slightly flustered at your confession.
Joel shuffles uneasily and sighs. âIâm not good with words.â He admits, looking around the kitchen that he had once shared with Tess. âI didnât- I donât really share emotions.â He had realized that when she had thought he hadnât felt the same way about her. That he hadnât loved her. He had been raw about that for a long time, although the kid didnât deserve to blame herself for Tess getting bit. Who the fuck would have ever thought a woman would die of rabies during this day and age? He looks back at you. âI can fuck you until you scream, protect you. Cook you breakfast. But that might not be enough for you.â
You reach up to cup his cheeks, bringing his eyes to yours. âThat is enough. You are enough. Iâm damaged too. Letâs not put pressure on this. We arenât first loves. We arenât teenagers. We are grown ass adults who can communicate. I donât want a fairytale, Iâve been hurt before by silly dreams and fake promises. I want real. Youâre real. I want you.â You assure him, your eyes burning into his.
Joel watches you for a moment and then gives a small nod. Agreeing with you. After last night, heâs not giving you up. Youâre his. âI donât break promises.â Joel tells you. âNot if I can help it.â
You nod, leaning in closer to kiss him softly. âI know, baby.â You murmur and he nudges his nose against yours. âIâm here to stay, baby. Especially with the way you cook bacon.â You grin, taking a slice off of the paper towel and biting into it. âYou might want to stay at your parentâs house all the time when we are finished with it.â He jokes and you snort, shifting to sit down at the counter while he plates up the food. âI donât think so, baby. Might have to convince my parents to add an extension. Keep you working for them.â You tease and Joel snorts, âyou can have my cock for free.â He promises and you wink at him, swallowing the bacon. âNow that sounds like a good deal.â You smile and Joel chuckles, knowing that this job mightâve turned into the best one of his career. Not only did he get paid, he got a bonus: you.
#pedro pascal#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller smut#joel miller imagine#joel miller fanfiction
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GOODBYES ARE BITTERSWEET | Sebastian Vettel â©âË.â PART 2: LOVING HIM WAS RED [PREVIOUS PART] [NEXT PART]
goodbyes are bittersweet masterlist f1 masterlist | ao3 | requests or let's talk!
ferrari sebastian vettel x ex gf!female reader
word count: 3972
summary: seb, after not knowing about her for almost five years, finds out that y/n just went viral on youtube after posting a song that might be written about him
warnings: settled on april 2018 and narrated on seb's pov. curse words, mentions of sex and one night stands. apart from that, just a little bit of background story from seb and reader's relationship
taglist: [@saltycomicsanimalssalad @hc-dutch @mycenterfold @simplyamberj @spitesfvl-blog @jaydaaasworld @lottalove4evelyn @zoeyjadetice2010 @nhfls @jehun @ferralari @cosmoscoffeee @mcmuppet @myescapefromthislife ]
a/n: i know i'm supposed to be posting oscar fics but migraine is killing me today (been quite stressed for the past few days i believe). in the meantime, as i already had it written, here you have part 2 of goodbyes are bittersweet! hope you liked it as much as you liked part 1 (even if it's a bit different). part 3 coming tomorrow if you want so? PLEASE let me know your thoughts and opinions in comments! feedback is appreciated, as well as reblogs <3
© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!
2018 April 27th Baku, Azerbaijan
Sebastian
I woke up as soon as I felt the sunâs rays hitting me in the face, and at the same moment I noticed a surprisingly strange warmth next to me, in bed.
I looked at my phone and saw that it was already half-past seven in the morning. Not only had I realized that my alarm hadnât gone off and I had overslept by an hour and a half, but it was also Y/Nâs birthday.
Like every year, there was no response from her to the email I had scheduled to be sent at midnight.Â
After almost five years of knowing the bare minimum about her and having seen her a couple of times from afar in Heppenheim, I knew why, deep down, I kept doing it. I still loved her as much as the first day, or even more. I hoped for a reunion where we could tell each other about our lives and start a simple friendship as if nothing had happened, as if she hadnât chosen to leave my life and act like she didnât know me.
I decided to turn over to see what was getting closer and closer to me, almost pushing me off the bed. It wasnât hard to find myself face to face with blue eyes that were not the green ones I had dreamed of that night.
Suddenly, memories from just a few hours ago started to form in my mind. A few beers I shouldnât have had at a local pub just because I wanted to escape the blurry memory of Y/N were responsible for me meeting this charming young woman with a wonderful smile.
My head couldnât piece together how we ended up here, but I suppose her insistence, my invitation for her to accompany me to the hotel, and possibly a taxi ride I paid for were the final results of the goal to escape reality.Â
This had been my routine since I realized my ex-girlfriend wasnât coming back into my life. I didnât like being this way, and although I had tried to find a stable partner, kindness, fun and a temporary refuge had been the best way to try to forget Y/N Y/L/N, who always found a way to slip into my thoughts at the least expected moment.
I quickly got out of bed and, almost without thinking and without needing to undress, jumped into the shower and did my best to let the warm water make me forget everything I had allowed to happen the night before. I closed my eyes and let myself go as much as I could. I tried to organize my thoughts and find the easiest possible way out of the problem I had gotten myself into, but it was impossible to find one that worked.
I got out of there faster than I would have liked. When I returned to the room, with just the towel wrapped around my waist, leaving my entire torso exposed, I found the person I had been avoiding at all costs.
The brunette was already stretching in bed, dawdling and, surely, not wanting to leave.
âWould you mind leaving?â
My rhetorical question made her just look at me in surprise, her eyes still sleepy.
âWhy, Seb? Canât we spend the day together? I could go with you to the paddock and repeat what we did last night in your room or whatever you call it,â she suggested with a playful smile. âYou know as well as I do that it would be fun.â
I felt a knot forming in my stomach at her suggestion. It wasnât that I hadnât enjoyed her company or was forbidden to do so, but the simple fact of knowing who was turning thirty today, and that this exact proposal was something I used to do with her...
âI donât think itâs a good idea...âÂ
Damn, I didnât remember her name.
âAlessia.â
âThatâs it, Alessia,â I confirmed. âYou know how these things are and what it could mean for us to be seen together. We could meet another day as... friends.â
Neither my response nor hers were what the other expected. After hearing her name, I remembered the brief introduction she gave me: a musician just starting out and a member of a highly successful Italian orchestra.
An Italian version of Y/N and, unfortunately for me and possibly the blonde, a successful one.
âThe way you moaned my name last night so many times is not something friends usually do. You made me feel special last night. A lot, in fact.âÂ
âIâm sorry, Alessia, that wasnât what I meant,â I clarified, my cheeks blushing slightly at her statement. âI hope you enjoyed what we did last night, but itâs time for you to get dressed and go back to your hotel or wherever youâre staying. I have to go to work,â I added, trying not to succumb to her obvious charms.Â
After several more attempts to convince me, the girl finally resigned herself and reluctantly accepted my suggestion. I felt uncomfortable when she threw off the sheets and began to gather her clothes, completely naked. I felt even worse as I watched her slow and deliberate movements, as if she were prolonging the inevitable farewell and trying to arouse me.Â
I bit my lip and refrained from doing or saying anything when she asked for help zipping up her dress. I could have said no, but I didnât want to seem rude, especially considering that the time I spent with her had made me feel just as I had with my ex-girlfriend.Â
Once we were finished, the Italian approached me with determination. Before I could react, her lips sought mine with clear intention. I instinctively turned my face, causing the kiss to land on my cheek instead of my lips.Â
âAlessiaâŠâÂ
What could I say in a situation like this? Did she deserve the hurt I was going to cause her even though we had only had a night of wild sex, like so many others I had had with other girls?Â
âIâm sorry,â she murmured hastily, looking away. âI thought⊠you know, that we could have something more than just a one-night stand.â
My heart sank at her words, and as I had already foreseen, because it always happened in these cases, guilt overwhelmed me.Â
I knew I had been unfair to her by allowing this to happen, by letting her believe there could be something more between us, and that the problem was hers when the only one to blame was me, who hadnât gotten over the love of my life after four years, now closer to five, of no contact.Â
âAlessia, youâre an incredible person,â I began to say, trying to find the right words and not hurt her more, âbut right now, all I want to focus on is my work and working on myself. It wouldnât be fair for you to be part of all this and end up getting hurt.â
âI understand,â she said softly, nodding with a sadness that, although expected, still surprised me. âThank you for letting me spend this night with you, Sebastian.â
I felt overwhelmed and at the same time a great mixture of relief and remorse as I watched her leave without even looking back.Â
When enough time had passed to be sure I wouldnât run into her, I went down to the hotel lobby still feeling that heaviness invading me. I tried to shake off all of them, but as soon as I saw Britta standing in front of the entrance, arms crossed and with an angry look fixed on me, I knew it was going to be difficult.Â
âSebastian, again?â she asked, full of frustration.Â
âYes, and Iâm not going to apologize for something I donât regret,â I replied sincerely, knowing there was no way to avoid the upcoming conversation.Â
âAre you going to keep playing this game much longer?â she reproached as she quickened her pace, trying not to cause too much of a scene or draw attention. âYouâve gone longer than Iâd like to say without settling down.âÂ
âI will when I get tired of sleeping with girls I donât know, I suppose. Having sex is good for health, you know? Be thankful I donât cause you many problems after these nights.âÂ
Britta sighed, and I knew my response was making her lose the little patience she had left.Â
âI know you didnât ask for my opinion, but I think what would make you tired of sleeping with strangers almost every Grand Prix week would be to have some kind of interaction with Y/N.âÂ
The mention of the blondeâs name made the wave of emotions I had tried to bury for years resurface, hitting me suddenly.Â
âYou know I canât do that. Itâs impossible. Iâve tried, but she doesnât want to cooperate.âÂ
âYou should at least try once again, at least. I know thereïżœïżœïżœs nothing, nor anyone, who can change her mind,â and it was true. Y/N was the most stubborn person, for better or worse, that I had ever met in my life. âBut I also know that if you keep avoiding facing your feelings and trying to forgive yourself for what happened, youâll never find the peace youâre not only wishing for but also deserving of.âÂ
âI know, Britta, butâŠâÂ
âBut what, Sebastian? Itâs just thatâŠâÂ
âHave you ever heard of the invisible string theory?âÂ
She raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised by the change of subject and possibly for not letting her finish. She slowed her pace, and for the first time in the short time we had been together that day, I felt calm and even understood.Â
âYes, Iâve heard something about that,â she said after a few seconds that felt eternal. âWhat does that have to do with getting over your ex-girlfriend?â
âWell, everything, really,â I declared. âY/N and I dated, if you can even call it that, for ten days during Christmas of â99. She was 11, and I was 12, and I was a bit stupid because I ended up breaking up with her when I fell for a classmate who had just moved to Heppenheim and who eventually started dating my cousin.âÂ
âButâŠâ
âThen Y/N and I became friends again,â I continued, trying not to let her interrupt my impromptu speech, âand it took six years until she told me she loved me. I didnât want to admit my feelings and decided that not talking to her for four months was the best, not even to offer my condolences after her grandmotherâs death⊠And look, in the end, I asked her to go out with me!â
My PR sighed, possibly tired of hearing that story once again, a story I never got tired of telling because sometimes reality was weirder than fiction.
âIâm going to tell you what Iâve always told you since Y/N left, and I donât care if you donât want to hear it: youâre still clinging to the hope that everything will go back to how it was, even though you know itâs not possible,â she said without a hint of doubt. âEven if you ran into her and had a deep conversation, your lives have changed. At least yours has, and Iâm sure hers has too.â
âI mentioned the invisible string theory because I feel like thereâs something else. I feel, besides there being something unknown that ties us together for some reason, that the third time's the final one,â I finally confessed.
My confession seemed to have caught her off guard. Now, she slowed, and she was passing her accreditation to enter the paddock much more slowly than she usually did.
Maybe she was right, that I was holding on too tightly to the hope that everything would go back to how it was before, but I had been dreaming about Y/N again for many nights after months without doing so. It had never happened before, but the last few days had felt like she had never left my life and had always been there, just apart.
The last time I had that feeling it ended with me seeing her from a distance playing with a little girl she was probably babysitting to earn some extra money.
Obviously, I didnât dare to approach her because she seemed... happy. Quite happy, actually.
âIâd like to keep talking about this, but I want you to stop thinking about Y/N, at least for a few hours, and focus on today,â my PRâs change in tone let me know she was serious. âWe have a lot to do.â
âThen enlighten me, master.â
âFirst, you have a meeting with the team to discuss possible strategies for practice and what might work for tomorrowâs qualifying,â the blonde began to explain, taking out her planner and going over the dayâs schedule. âThen I think you have an interview with SkySports with Nico Rosberg, and maybe a talk for a collaboration with a brand, but I have to check that again.â
âWhat time am I supposed to meet with the engineers?â
âAround nine-thirty, but...â
I yawned, not bothering to cover my mouth as my PR continued talking. The heaviness in my eyelids was getting worse, and I felt the exhaustion from the previous night starting to take its toll. I looked at my phone and saw that, unfortunately, it was only eight-fifteen.
Was the day going by that slowly?
âUnderstood,â I replied, pretending I had been paying attention to everything Britta had said. âBy the way, do you mind if I go to my driverâs room to have some rest?â
âSebastian...â
âI had a fantastic night,â I admitted, causing her to cross her arms and once again look at me with a stern expression, âbut I didnât sleep at all, and if I want to perform well, I need to sleep at least for a bit.â
âYou have forty-five minutes at most,â the blonde snapped. âDonât you dare be late, or weâll have problems. Set your alarm and make sure your phone is on in case someone calls you.â
It wonât be Y/N, thatâs for sure.
âI will, donât worry.â
I left Britta after exchanging a few more words with her and hurried as much as I could. With every step I took, I felt more tired. I knew I should have slept at least six hours, but I succumbed to the temptation last night to, why not say it, have a good time and, as was more than obvious and had become routine since 2014, try to succeed in the mission of forgetting Y/N on her birthday.
Another year, it had been impossible.
I didnât know if it was due to lack of sleep or lack of attention, but the voices around me seemed increasingly distant. The only thing I could hear as I walked through the pit lane was a growing murmur where the words âviralâ and âsongâ seemed to be the main topics, especially from the mouths of Max, Daniel, and Iâd swear Charles.
âHave you heard this song?â I heard Verstappen say. I stopped when the first piano chords began to play. âItâs like a pandemic; itâs everywhere.â
âI donât know who the girl singing is, but sheâs incredibly talented,â Ricciardo continued. âDo we know who...?â
âYou donât know if itâs a girl!â Leclerc reproached, hitting the Australian on the arm. âWhat if itâs a guy with a high voice?â
I laughed at the younger guys' antics, wondering if my former teammates saw me that way when I was their age.
Losing him was blue like iâd never known Missing him was dark gray all alone Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met Cosâ loving him was red
If my eyes were almost closing automatically, after hearing the chorus, or whatever it was called, it felt like I had taken an energy drink that had woken me up.
The moment that voice, both raspy and sweet at the same time, penetrated my ear, my hair stood on end. Its familiarity was incredible⊠but no, it couldn't be her. It was impossible.
"God damn, who can play the piano while singing?"Â
"I have two questions," Daniel blurted out, ignoring Charles' words. "The first one is who the fuck it could be, and the second is how the hell they've gotten so much attention out of nowhere."
It's Y/N, who else could it be, I thought.
I tried to control all kinds of thoughts that were running through my head. I knew my ex-girlfriend's voice perfectly, and the one coming from the Dutchman's phone was quite similar to hers.
"Maybe it's a marketing strategy. At least that's what Fernando thinks," Max always had the Spaniard's name in his mouth. "What if it's a marketing strategy by some record label? It could be a plan to generate interest in an artist or a song."
"I highly doubt it. If they wanted to do that, the YouTube account wouldn't be named 151206010614."
Lewis appeared next to me out of nowhere. Quickly taking off his headphones, he also unplugged them from his phone, letting the song play at full volume.
"Seb, are you okay?" insisted the Brit.
"Yes, yes. I was just a bit distracted," I hurried to say.
He didn't seem very satisfied with my answer, but I didn't care. The only thing I was thinking about at that moment was how much I wanted to get to the hospitality area, and how much I wanted to take a micro-nap at this point.
"Are you also distracted thinking about that anonymous person?"
"I can't be distracted by someone I know nothing about other than what I've heard from them," I replied, pointing to the three drivers who were still engrossed in the conversation about the topic.
"I've managed to hear a bit, yes," replied the dark-haired one. "I think I understand music a little more than they do. I'm almost sure it has nothing to do with a record label, and that someone simply uploaded it without any expectations. And look how it went from them."
I looked at him intrigued, understanding little to nothing of what he was saying.
"Since you look confused, I'll explain a bit," Hamilton continued, realizing that I didn't seem to understand much. "It seems they uploaded this song, which happens to be called Red, to YouTube," he hit play and put it on again, now from the beginning, "It seems to be about a failed relationship, but no one knows who sings it or what the real story behind it is."
"Does no one really know anything?" I insisted, finding the situation very strange.
Why was the voice only familiar to me? Could it be because today was Y/N's birthday, and everything reminded me of her much more than usual?
"The only thing we know is that the song is wonderful. Really, I don't know whoâs behind this, but if they discover that girl, if it is a girl, and give her a chance, Iâm almost sure she can achieve great things."
We decided to move a bit further down the pit lane, exchanging a few words with those we met. Lewis kept talking about the song. I couldn't stop thinking and analyzing the melody, the lyrics, the voice, and especially the user. I knew there was something hidden behind that combination of numbers, and now the priority of sleeping a bit before the first free practice session had taken a back seat.
I tried all possible combinations. Numbers from front to back, in pairs, trios, and even quartets, but nothing seemed to convince me. While the melody of Red continued to resonate from the Mercedes driver's iPhone, my mind kept trying to get the information because something inside me, which was nothing like the feeling I had every April 27th, knew it was Y/N.
I managed to come up with the supposed answer shortly after, recalling some of the important dates for us. If I divided the username into three different sections, with two pairs of numbers each, the first one corresponded to June 15th, 2006.
That was the day I asked Y/N to be my girlfriend.Â
If that was right, the second pair of numbers corresponded to January 12th, 2014. I was no longer dating Y/N at that time, but I knew her perfectly, and not to brag, but I was convinced that date must be extremely important to her if it was alongside our anniversary.
I wish I could know what it is that about.
âAre you listening to me?â
Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes
Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go
But moving on from him is impossible
When I still see it all in my head
In burning red
I ignored Lewis after hearing, for the first time paying extremely attention, that bridge.Â
Somehow, the song described my feelings perfectly, and I didnât know why I felt that way. I couldnât let go of Y/N, not when she had been, and still was, the love of my life.Â
I entered WhatsApp almost automatically and went into Y/N's profile. She had no profile picture, but I knew perfectly well that it was her because her contact was still saved with the same name. I quickly wrote to her that I knew it was her hiding behind the song and that somehow, I knew she was talking about me.Â
I saw Britta approaching us quickly. She was also engrossed in her phone, her fingers constantly moving over it. I didnât pay much attention to her because once I showed my desperation to Y/N, I moved on to conveying it to Hanna, trying to convince her to reveal that it was her best friend.Â
âSeb, we need to talk,â Roeske hurried to say, almost out of breath. Her gaze was still fixed on her device.
âBritta, I canât right now, Iâm sendingâŠâ
âSebastian Vettel, this is serious.â
When she yanked the phone from my hands and I made eye contact with her, I assumed things didnât seem to be going very well. The moment she turned her gaze to Lewis and he walked away, patting me on the shoulder, I knew.
âWhatâs wrong with you?â I asked, quite angry. âWhy are you acting like a neurotic who seems to have lost a million euros on a ridiculous bet?â
âI donât want you to answer anything related to that song that went viral, Red. Iâm telling you, Sebastian, donât you dare answer anything about that damn song.â
And again, this was another sign that happened to make me feel like I hadnât gone crazy.
âSebastian, trust me,â Britta remained firm in her expression, crossing her arms. âI donât want you to get into trouble because the song was uploaded byâŠâ
âY/N.â
I saw the answer in her eyes. I knew her and knew she longed to answer me and at the same time, she didnât.Â
Britta knew that, but I also had the feeling she seemed to want to hide something.
âItâs her the one singing, right?â I insisted, but she didnât answer. âBritta, please: tell me.â
I was desperate, and it was more than obvious. A sigh and a few seconds filled with uncertainty preceded her response:
âIf you already know, why do you ask me? You know the sunshine of your life, as you still call her, much better than I do. Of course itâs Y/N,â she revealed, lifting a great weight off my shoulders and, above all, making me believe I could have faith in the future.
#formula 1#f1#sebastian vettel#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x y/n#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#formula 1 angst#sebastian vettel one shot#sebastian vettel x y/n#sebastian vettel imagine#max verstappen x reader#sebastian vettel fanfic#sebastian vettel angst#red bull racing#sebastian vettel fic#formula 1 imagine#f1 imagine#sebastian vettel f1#sebastian vettel x female reader#sebastian vettel x you#red bull f1#red bull seb#goodbyes are bittersweet series
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Caught Inbetween àŒ*·Ë
18+ MDNI !!!
Pairing: Sebastian (Stardew Valley) x Fem! Reader / You x Sam (Stardew Valley)
Summary: Kinktober 2024 Day 3 - Threesome. Abigail goes home early from game night, leaving Reader alone with the two boys for the night, only, Sam is acting a little too friendly.
Tags: Threesome F/M/M, P in V, Unprotected sex, Fingering, Oral sex (f and m receiving), Praise kink, Handjob, Pet names, Overstimulation, Multiple orgasms, Munch! Sam AND Seb, Friends to lovers, No action between Sam and Sebastian, PWP, No plot, Mentions of smoking.
Word count: 3.1k
Read it on ao3! | Masterlist
Authors note: Considered making it a Challengers vibe and having Sam and Seb be a bit gay, but opted to have them focus on the reader!! Also I hope it's not too painfully obvious that I've never had a threesome lol!! Hope you like it anyway mwah ( ââĄâ)㣠âĄ
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âDo you really have to go?â You pouted in the doorway as Abigail pulled her shoes on. She gave you an exasperated smile, deftly tying her laces. âDonât leave me alone with two boys!â you whine playfully. She stands and nudges you with her elbow.
âItâs Sam and Seb, how bad can it be? I used to hang with them alone all the time before you moved here,â she reaches behind you for her coat on the hook, and you continue pouting.
âOh come on⊠youâre sure your dad wonât let you off of opening duty?â you give her your best puppy dog eyes. She just scoffs and playfully slaps your arm.
âYes, Iâm sure, now Iâ Oh! Hey Seb,â you follow her eyeline to where Sebastian ascends the final stairs from his basement, shaking a box of cigarettes.
âGoing for a smoke, Iâll walk you out Abi,â he grunts, slipping on his shoes and yanking his black jacket off of the hook. You step aside as he heads past you to the door. âIâll be back in ten,â he glances at you over his shoulder before shoving open the door and heading out into the dark misty evening. You wonder if you imagined how his eyes had flicked down your body just then, shaking off the thought. You wave poutily to Abigail as she heads out behind him, she sticks her tongue out and waves back at you. The cool air pushes its way in forcefully through the door making you shiver, you yank it shut with a loud thud, before turning and hopping down the stairs back to Sebastianâs basement room. Sam is lounging on the small couch when you reappear, flicking uninterestedly through one of Sebastianâs computer magazines, the game of Solarion Chronicles from earlier discarded on the table now that Abigail has gone home.
âOh thank God, I was beginning to think everyone had abandoned me,â Sam jokes, sitting up straight and tossing the magazine to the ground. You chuckle, walking over to sit beside him at his patted invitation. âI can always count on you,â he comments with a grin. You rest your head on the back of the couch, smiling up at him. âYou look a little tired,â he frowns. You glare at him for that comment but sigh in defeat.
âFarming isnât for the weak,â you grumble, rubbing your forehead for a moment. âItâs nice to get away from it for a little while,â
âI bet it is,â he coos, you give him a suspicious glance at his sickly sweet tone. He places a hand on your shoulder and draws you closer. âHere, let me rub your shoulders,â he suggests gently. As suspicious as you are of his actions, you canât deny that you need a massage. You figure heâs just going to ask you to bake him some maple bars or something, and you donât mind, considering youâre planning to bake tomorrow anyway. So, you turn around and relax your body as he pushes your hair aside and starts to gently work the muscles of your neck. His hands cup your shoulders, his thumbs digging into your neck, rubbing at the sore stiff muscles. It feels good, so good that you canât stop your eyes from closing and a few little groans from escaping your lips, which only seem to egg him on. He rubs harder and hums softly. âGod, youâre stiff,â he whispers against your ear. His tone gives you pause, your eyes fluttering back open. Had you imagined it or had he said that sort of⊠seductively? You turn your head slightly, trying to meet his eye, he just smiles lazily at you. âStay still,â he chastises playfully, turning your head back around with care. He resumes his work, his thumbs slipping under the collar of your sweater to rub your shoulders. You groan again despite yourself, you really were stiffâŠ
The door opening gets your attention, and you flush like youâve been caught doing something inappropriate, even though nothing untoward is happening. Sebastian raises a brow at the two of you as he walks in. He walks over and sits down in front of you on the couch, smirking at you slightly. He glances behind you to meet Samâs eye, looking like he knows something you donât. As if in response to this look, Sam rubs his thumbs into your muscles a little harder, making you choke out a small sound. You feel embarrassed, but the boys just smile knowingly at one another, making you even more flustered.
âOur poor little farmer is all stiff and tired,â Sam coos gently from behind you. Sebastian pouts at you in response, you want to ask questions but the attractiveness of his pout keeps you quiet. Sebastian moves closer to you and you feel your breathing speed up as both boys crowd into your space. Sebastianâs hand comes up, pushing some hair away from your cheek, letting his fingertips linger. Your face twists in confusion for a moment before you break into a disbelieving smirk. They were trying to seduce you, together. This was certainly a change of pace. Sebastian smiles back at you almost shyly as Sam massages you, sensing youâve figured them out.
âSo, whatâs all this really about?â you ask accusingly, glancing between them, but they can hear youâre not really angry. Sam chuckles in your ear.
âYouâre too perceptive,â he sighs, gently removing his hands from your shoulders. You turn so you can look between the two of them, they both look a little bashful now. âWe never usually get a chance to get you alone without Abi,â he comments.
âAnd you look so beautiful,â Sebastian adds breathlessly. âWeâve always thought so,â you blush gently.
âLet us help you⊠destressâŠâ Sam purrs. âWeâll make it so good for you,â he promises, placing his hand on your thigh gently.
âBoth of you?â you confirm. When they nod in response, you feel yourself shiver at the thought. Youâve never really considered a threesome before, but now that the opportunity was in front of you, you felt yourself growing wetter by the second. Youâd fantasised about both of them separately throughout your time as their friend, but now your brain was supplying you with an enticing mashup of these thoughts. Sebastian carefully wraps his arm around you, pulling you to lean against his chest, sitting between his legs. He nuzzles his nose against your neck, the scent of his cologne and the surprisingly enticing scent of cigarettes engulfing you completely, leaving you almost lightheaded.
âWill you let us?â he asks you quietly, his voice strained like itâs taking him a horrible effort to hold back from you. You breathe heavily as Sam places his hands on your knees, rubbing gently. Your eyes meet his and you see the lust there, the lust you feel mirrored in the pit of your stomach.
âYeah, yeah Iâll⊠let you,â you pant slightly. You immediately feel Sebastian's lithe fingers caressing your jaw, turning your head towards his own. He glances over your features for a moment before capturing your lips with his own. You whine softly as he kisses you desperately, his hands sliding up and down your sides. Your eyes shut, leaning back into Sebastian to get closer. His lips taste like mint, suggesting he had some gum after smoking in preparation to kiss you. It makes you smile softly. You feel fingers on your jaw, turning your head again and Sam is suddenly right in front of you, his eyes wide, pupils swallowing his irises. His lips are on yours swiftly, kissing with less control than Sebastian had, one hand cupping your cheek. You wonder in the back of your mind if he can taste the mint from Sebastianâs spit. You hear Sebastian breathing heavily by your ear, watching as Sam kisses you feverishly. His hand sneaks down your body while youâre distracted, sliding into the waistband of your pants and your panties. You gasp shakily as his fingertip trails up and down your wet folds, getting a feel for you. He groans softly as he gathers up some wetness and brings it up so he can more easily tease your sensitive bundle of nerves. You moan into your kiss with Sam at his barely there stimulation.
âSheâs so wet Sam,â he exhales. You whine in embarrassment, Sebastian just kisses your neck soothingly in response. Sam withdraws from your lips, taking in how theyâre pink and glossy from his kisses.
âGotta see,â he grunts, leaning back to tug at your pants. You canât believe whatâs happening as you lift your hips, allowing him to bare your most intimate parts. His eyes flutter and he practically chokes at the sight of you as he gently spreads your legs, watching Sebastianâs finger swirl over you, making you twitch. âSheâs soaked,â he whimpers. âYou must really want us, eh pretty girl? He chuckles slightly, eyes fixed between your legs.
âShut up,â you mumble weakly, moaning softly as Sebastian applies a little more pressure. Both boys chuckle at you and you find yourself laughing too, or at least trying to through the soothing pleasure.
âDidnât you say youâd always wanted to eat her out?â Sebastian muses to Sam. You file away the realisation that theyâve talked about this seemingly extensively for later. Sam nods eagerly.
âGood call,â he mumbles, lowering himself so his head is between your legs. You gasp as his breath washes over your core, making you clench around nothing. Sebastian removes his finger, shuffling you back and tighter against his chest so Sam can settle more comfortably between your thighs. Sam begins to pepper kisses on your inner thighs, eyes glued to the glistening prize between your legs. âPlease say I can taste you,â he groans. You just whine needily, but he seems to understand it fine, leaning in and licking a thick stripe over you, just to taste you. You both moan in unison as he does it. âFuck⊠so perfect,â he dives in, bringing his hand up to spread you open, gently swirling his tongue over you. Sebastian is tugging your sweater over your head, but you barely register it over the sensations between your legs. Thereâs a soft thud as your sweater hits the floor, quickly followed by your bra, leaving you completely naked. Sebastian's hands roam all over your torso as Sam laps up at you relentlessly, moaning periodically at the taste of you. He holds your thighs open as they keep threatening to close around his head as you writhe and tense from his ministrations. Sebastianâs lips are on yours again, greedily swallowing up your moans and whines as Sam flicks his tongue quickly back and forth over your clit. Sebastian cups your breasts roughly as you arch up into his touch.
âGorgeous,â he mumbles against your lips. âYou look and sound gorgeous baby,â Sam grunts in agreement against you, making you shiver. The room fills with obscene slurping noises as Sam begins to suckle at your clit. You cry out, your whole body tensing and your thighs fighting to close again. âJust let it happen, baby,â Sebastian coaxes, softly circling his thumbs over your hardened nipples. The mixture of sensations is proving a lot to fight off, the rhythmic pattern of sucks and licks Sam is giving you making you feel lightheaded and tightening the knot in your stomach until it finally snaps and you scream. Whatever comes out of your mouth is some sort of odd mix of both of their names, but they seem to thoroughly enjoy it anyway. Sam moans in response, lapping at your release feverishly, savouring every single drop even as you start to shake for slight overstimulation. He finally withdraws, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, standing up. Sebastian shuffles behind you, gently laying you down on the couch as he wordlessly moves to where Sam just was. You look down at him, dazed. âHope you saved some for me, pretty girl,â he teases, wrapping his arms under your body to hold you in place, placing a few feather-light kisses onto your swollen bud, making you whine and buck. He smiles and chuckles. âYou did a good job down here, Sam,â
âOf course, anything for our pretty girl,â he coos, leaning down to kiss your forehead as Sebastian begins teasing you ever so gently with his tongue. Your entire body is flushed and glistening with perspiration by this point, but both boys admire you like youâre some sort of treasure. You kiss Sam slowly for a while, tasting your release on his tongue as Sebastian lavishes you with gentle attention, careful not to overwhelm you, but to still bring you more and more pleasure. One of your hands moves down into Sebastian's hair, gripping gently, you feel him smile against you and the feeling is oddly erotic. Sam takes the wrist of your other hand, kissing your palm a few times as he undoes his jeans and frees himself from his boxers before lowering your hand onto him. Youâre momentarily surprised but quickly regain yourself, softly wrapping your hand around his length, and starting to pump gently. He groans erotically, twitching in your hand, already sticky with pre-cum. âYou have no idea how much weâve fantasised about this,â Sam grunts, thrusting up into your hand a little. You just whimper in response, tightening your grip slightly. Sebastian is watching the two of you closely, his tongue still drawing slow patterns against you.
âEvery night for weeks,â Sebastian adds, his voice vibrating against you. âSam was right, you taste heavenly,â he groans. You laugh breathlessly, concentration on your hand movements becoming harder as Sebastian starts to lick more intently now. Sam caresses your hair as your head falls to the side, becoming overwhelmed by the sensations once more. Your hand speeds up on Samâs cock to make up for what you know is coming. Copying what Sam had done to drive you mad, Sebastian starts to suckle against you, albeit more gently. It has the same effect anyway due to the previous orgasm. You tug at Sam harder and he chokes out a guttural noise, fucking into your fist as you falter, your second orgasm of the night overtaking you. You throw your head back into the couch in a silent scream, your hips stuttering wildly up against Sebastianâs mouth. He pulls away abruptly once youâve ridden it out, and you think youâre getting a break, but no such luck, not that youâre really complaining. Sebastian sits up on his knees between your legs, gripping your hips and pulling them up. You squeak in surprise as his tip prods against your entrance, sliding inside with minimal resistance, due to the lubrication provided by your orgasm. He meets a little more resistance deeper inside, carefully pushing through it, bottoming out. He takes a deep shaky breath, looking utterly blissful.
âTell me how she feels,â Sam begs, still softly fucking your hand like a dog in heat. His words remind you of your motionless hand and you start to move it again, twisting gently. Sam whines loudly and you feel Sebastian twitch inside you.
âOh⊠sheâs perfect⊠warm and wet and heavenly,â Sebastian gasps. âEverything we ever dreamed,â both you and Sam keen at these words. Sebastian grips your hips and starts to move gently. Youâre already over-sensitive from two orgasms, so heâs being careful with you, despite his clear need for more. He grunts and whines as he fucks into you and youâre happy to realise heâs close to falling apart already, not feeling so bad that your third orgasm is already approaching. You focus on Sam for a little while, keeping up the twisting motion he seems to enjoy so much, he stares down at you looking desperate and lost in pleasure. You use one of your hands to shakily prop yourself up, letting yourself reach to gently kitten lick at his tip. He curses breathlessly at this, and Sebastian seems to like the display too, his pace picking up without even meaning to. You moan, your whole body shaking as Sebastian fucks you, trying your best to keep up your licks. His pre-cum coats your tongue and you like the taste more than you ever expected to, moaning softly. Suddenly, heâs pulling away from you hurriedly and youâre momentarily confused until he groans and spills all over your chest. You laugh breathlessly as his cock twitches above you without even being touched. Sebastian's dark eyes lock onto your cum-covered chest and he growls, fucking you faster and deeper. You whine loudly, grabbing at the couch for purchase as he seemingly goes a little feral. Panting, Sam kneels beside you, taking your hands into his own. You squeeze them hard, your eyes rolling back.
âYouâre doing perfect pretty girl,â he coos soothingly as your face scrunches up in pleasure. He kisses you, seemingly unphased by his hands being crushed in yours. You kiss back desperately, feeling Sebastian slamming into you more forcefully as he gets closer. âWant my touch on your clit?â Sam asks gently, you nod frantically and he lowers his hand to rub at your swollen clit. You immediately clench around Sebastian's cock and with a few more sloppy thrusts, Sebastian pulls out and spills his seed all over your abdomen with a loud whimper. Sam coaxes you to the finish line again and you sob violently with the sensation, burying your head in his shoulder. Finally, once youâve all calmed down a little and caught your breath, Sebastian gets up on shaky legs to fetch a rag. Sam embraces you as you wait, kissing all over your face, and whispering various praises. You melt into his arms, nodding along to his sweet words. âYou were perfect for us, you must be so tired baby, sweet girl,â
Sebastian reappears, sitting down beside you and gently wiping you clean of both of their releases with the damp warm cloth. He presses a couple of reverential kisses to your stomach once itâs clean, leaning up to press a gentle kiss to your lips as Sam embraces you. Sebastian wraps you in a blanket to keep out the winter chill that is sneaking in now that youâre not so overheated with arousal. You feel incredibly tired and unsure how things will progress from here, what will this do to your friendship? What kind of relationship will this be? But one thought stands out as they settle themselves on the couch with you between them, both holding you close.
âIâm actually glad that Abi went home,â
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xoxoxo
#sdv sebastian#sebastian stardew valley#sebastian sdv#stardew valley sebastian#sam stardew valley#sdv smut#sdv sam#stardew valley#stardew valley smut#sebastian smut#sam smut#sebastian sdv smut#sebastian stardew valley smut#sebastian x reader#sebastian x farmer#sam x reader#sam x farmer#smut#fanfic#imagine#headcanon#sam x sebastian x reader#stardew valley sam#x you#x you smut
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sáŽáŽáŽ
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bobby moch x gn!reader
Bobby asks you to be his tutor, which leads to something more.
⣠warnings: kissing, none other than that
⣠word count: 1k
⣠authorâs note: I've been wanting to write for bobby for a while (: so here is a little something for our fave short king
masterlist | divider credit: @cafekitsune
this fic has been cross posted to ao3.
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âBobby?â
You snap your fingers in front of his face as his gaze has lingered on you for too long, âBobby.â
âYeah?â he asks, snapping out of it.
âYou were staring. Is something wrong?â
âNo, no,â Bobby rubs his hands on his thighs, âUh, everything is good.â
âRight,â you chuckle, âLetâs get back to studying.â
Bobby is a part of the rowing team for your university and needs some help in one of his classes in order to stay on said team. So he comes to you, as youâre the best in the class, for help. Plus, he thinks youâre cute. Itâs a great way to get to know you and pass this class, so itâs a win-win situation. Except Bobby doesnât know how to talk to girls without fumbling. Sure, he can get his friends to talk to them and even give them advice. But Bobby following his own advice is hard, considering heâs stubborn.Â
Bobby hadnât gotten much sleep last night despite a hard practice that day and seemed a little out of it. Hence, he had been staring right through you as you read a page of the textbook aloud. You can tell Bobby hasnât gotten enough rest because heâs hardly paying attention and trying his best to stay awake. He had admittedly slept through most of his classes today. When you look over and notice Bobby struggling to keep his eyes open, you sigh and close the textbook.
âBobby, go to your dorm and get some rest, would you? Youâre gonna wither away,â you frown.
âNo, Iâm fine. I swear.â
âYouâre literally falling asleep with your eyes open. Go to bed,â you cross your arms, raising an eyebrow at Bobby when he opens his mouth to argue, but he quickly shuts it when he sees your expression.
With a defeated sigh, Bobby pushes himself off the old and creaky library chair and stands up, âI guess youâre right. Can we meet later today or maybe tomorrow?â
âSure,â you say, âIf you want to later, just come by my dorm building after you wake up and have someone knock on my door.â
Sure enough, later that evening, one of your dormmates knocks on your door during your nightly reading.
âYes?â you call through the door.
âSomeone is here for you,â your dormmate giggles.
âIs it Bobby?â
âI donât know, he didnât give a name. Heâs kinda short, but heâs cute, though.â
âOkay, thanks,â you say, ignoring your dormmateâs comment, âTell him Iâll be down in a minute.â
When you throw on some clothes and go downstairs to outside, Bobby is standing there patiently, books under his arms.Â
âSorry that itâs so late. I was more tired than I thought and slept all day,â Bobby rubs the back of his neck.
âItâs okay. Do you still want to go to the library?â you ask.
âYes, if thatâs okay with you,â Bobby says.
The two of you walk to the campus library, talking about Bobby and his stunning progress with the rowing crew.Â
âYou should come watch us tomorrow if you arenât busy,â Bobby suggests.
âIâd love to,â you grin.
Youâve always found rowing quite interesting, considering it took a lot of strength to do the sport. You know Bobby is the coxswain, so he calls out to his teammates to tell them what to do. Rowing isnât the only thing about Bobby that interests you. Despite his small stature and emotionless resting expression, Bobby is kind and smart- heâs also quite handsome. You wonder why he doesnât have someone on his arm yet.Â
When you arrive at the library, the two of you go over the materials in todayâs class that Bobby had slept through. You both dive into the readings, your noses in your respective books. You would occasionally look up and catch Bobby staring at you, and youâd hurriedly look away. It became almost a game, seeing if you could catch the other staring. You would giggle and then hurry to cover it up with a cough or the clearing of your throat. Itâs nearing midnight now, and you had to be up early for class in the morning.Â
âReady to turn in?â you ask Bobby, who is actually distracted by his reading this time.
âOh,â he blushes, closing his textbook, âYeah, we probably should.â
The two of you walk back to your dorm in comfortable silence. It isnât until youâre right outside the building that Bobby decides to speak up.
âYouâre really cute, by the way,â Bobby cringes at himself, âI just thought you should know that.â
You smile, feeling your ears burn at the compliment, âThank you, Bobby. Youâre not so bad yourself, you know.â
Bobby waves a dismissive hand, âYouâre just saying that to be nice.â
âNo,â you shake your head, taking a step closer to him, âI mean it.â
Bobby scratches the back of his neck nervously under your gaze. You grab his hand from behind his neck and entangle your fingers through his, leaning in to give a soft kiss to his lips before pulling away.Â
âGoodnight, Bobby,â you let go of him, and heâs red as a beet in the face.
âYeah, uh, goodnight,â he nods with a giddy smile.
After that, it becomes a habit to study at the library and then send each other off with a kiss. It isnât until Bobby works up the courage to ask you out on an actual date that it becomes serious. And at the end of your first date, you dare to take the kiss a little further by nibbling at Bobbyâs bottom lip. He allows you to take over, your tongue exploring his mouth. The two of you are hidden in the bushes by your dorm so you arenât seen by anyone. Your hands find the sides of Bobbyâs face as you deepen the kiss. You feel his cheeks burn under your touch as he stifled a moan as you bite his bottom lip while pulling away.Â
âGoodnight, Bobby. I had a great time,â you wave, turning to walk away to the building entrance.
Bobby watches you disappear inside the dorm and is thankful he had the courage to ask you to be his tutor.Â
#bobby moch#bobby moch x reader#bobby moch imagine#bobby moch fanfiction#bobby moch fanfic#bobby moch fic#the boys in the boat#the boys in the boat fanfiction#the boys in the boat fanfic#the boys in the boat fic#tbitb#floralcyanide writes
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Hello! Iâm really excited about your parallel universes WIP and need to watch everything everywhere. Itâs been on my list for over a year. I was just wondering if you have fic recs for a related topic: time travel and time loops? For Buddie. Thank you. x
omg thank youuuu parallel universes are my JAM. i hate that i even put up that poll. now everyone chose laundry and taxes and i have to commit to writing this epic alongside bethlehem arghughg hghg ghhh. yes pleaseeee watch eeaao. i'm gonna try to make it make sense without having watched it but it's SUCH a good movie. watch it when you can and in the mood for a mind fuck
i LOVEEEE time loops and time travel! for buddie? ohhhh i GOT you:
burn the straw house down by @hoediaz
(buck gets stuck in time, has a break down and then, relatedly, a break through)
this might have been the second one i read ever with a time loop theme in the 911 fandom and oh boyyyy the emotions! you feel like you're going THROUGH it with buck, you're right there with him. and the breathless payoff at the end. YUMMM. love love LOVEEEE the reason given on how to break the time loop
Evan Buckley & The Coma-Verse of Madness by @cal-daisies-and-briars
(After being struck by lightning on a call, Buck experiences a plethora of alternate realities showing him different directions his life could have taken.)
soooo i also have to sneak in another parallel universes rec because this one is GOLD. it's more along the lines of Marvel's Dr. Strange and the book 'The Midnight Library by Matt Haig.' and it was just STUNNING. buck pov with moments ranging from confusion to bittersweet happiness to utter despair. the ending was mwah, mwah, chef's KISS. ughhh i love cal. wish they had a tumblr. i'll just scream in their ao3 comments it's ok. i'm ok i'm ok (THEY NOW HAVE A TUMBLR LET'S GOOOOOOO)
tomorrow will always and forever now be today (tomorrow is our always and forever) by @anxieteandbiscuits
(eddie gets trapped in a time loop on the day buck marries natalia)
sami is a MASTER at making you scream into your pillow at these two lovable idiots. and boyyyy did i want to just smash their faces together and make them work it out (sorry natalia babe) loosely inspired by the 'Palm Springs' time loop movie. it was just sooooo you HAVE TO have a box of tissues with you. she will eviscerate your heart with her words and MAKE you feel what eddie is going through UGHHHHHH
Benign Fatality by @ardenetoile
(Buck repeats days until he doesn't die in them, has an underdeveloped sense of self worth, and Eddie is the one who wants to step in with him.)
what a fantastic take on time loops! buck only repeats days when he's died. so there could be strings of days/weeks/months where he lives life like normal. and eddie gets brought into it at some point, or more like he shoulders his way in because it's EDDIE and he cares. ending was amazing too, author made it truly make sense! i am so intrigued about the background on buck's ability!
Being Eddie by @cal-daisies-and-briars
(When Eddie starts seeing a new therapist, heâs presented with the opportunity to revisit several days from his past and right regrets that still bother him.)
so this is my one time travel rec in this fandom. eddie goes through the time travel therapy process of the show 'Being Erica' and BOYYYYY does he. it's currently a WIP and i'm about to read ch16 of 20. Cal is fabulous with making you feel for every aspect of a character. they moved from the prior story of buck pov to this eddie pov with flawless precision and godddd i don't know what it is about their words. they are IMPACTFUL. i read a chapter and have to lean back and think through my feelings, like I'M getting therapized. what the fuck??????????????
the persistence of memory by @anxieteandbiscuits
(Buck gets shot, Eddie has to keep reliving the day until he can figure out what the universe is trying to tell him)
last but DEFINITELY not least is this one, my love. if i can imprint this on my heart, blood and papercuts and ripped out ribs and all, i WOULD. i will never have enough time or breath to speak on this fic. it was one of the first 3 fics i read in this fandom. and FUCKKKK did sami pull me in. i think i wasn't even caught up with the show but it DOESN'T matter. she set it after s4 and eddie goes throughhhh it on time loops. the beautiful prose, the sweeping emotions from eddie to buck. the 118 firefam ensemble comedy. the LOVE CONFESSIONS???? multiple????? each one made me teary and one made me outright cry. they were all different and they were all perfect on every iteration of the worst day of eddie's life. i sometimes turn over my pillow at 3 am and get a visceral flash of buck's shocked and bloody face when REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED and have to take a deep breath and rub my chest because sami did it AGAIN and my brain just likes me to remember these moments i've read and scanned into my brain apparently to play on loop
ANYWAY i got really excited. happy reading anon! thank you for letting me rant about the top 6 fics with these themes off the top of my head. <333
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Psychomanteum / Chapter 8
Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!Reader
Chapter 8: Would You Rather
Chapter Summary: You and Dieter spend the day together.
Rating: Explicit (18+ only)
Word Count: 7k+
Content / Warnings: alternating POV, talk about addiction, grief, communication problems, confrontation, piv sex, homophobia, spanish homophobic slur, infertility, automatic writing, ghostie better back off, fluffy fluffy feeeeeeelings
Notes: Chapter title from "Would You Rather" by Phoebe Bridgers. Hey so about what I said when I started this series about putting out a chapter every week... I've found that it's not very realistic for me. It doesn't usually take me more than one or two weeks to finish writing a chapter, but I'll put them out when I'm done with them! Thank you so much for understanding and for reading. I appreciate you!!! Also I got a little behind on replying to people's nice comments, and if that's you, you'll be hearing from me tomorrow most likely lol THANKS AGAAAIN!
[ Tag List ] [ AO3 ] [ Spotify Playlist ] [ Series Masterlist ]
When you wake up to the braying of your phoneâs alarm, snuggled into the heat of Dieterâs naked body, the sun hasnât even begun to peak over the horizon. The world is still drenched in darkness. His forehead rolls against the arch of your back as you breathe, the oil from his pores slick on the shared spot. Soft puffs of his sleeping breath spread over your spine and make you tingle.Â
You close your eyes and find that, if youâre still enough, you can feel the steady beat of his heart echo across your skin.Â
The night before replays in your head. Parkerâs show. Dieterâs confrontation. The way he pushed you to your breaking point. The way he made it up to you.Â
You wonder if heâll bring it up again, or if he considers the point of contention to be healed. If youâll ever get the courage to tell him that itâs not just his wandering attention that hurt you. How do you tell him that his publicized cocaine binge picks away at your brain just as much?Â
You wonder if this stitched up wound will just be infected by lingering doubt and unasked questions. If your vigilant throat will keep the ache locked away in your chest. If an abscess will grow and rot until itâs too late for antibiotics and it swallows you whole.Â
The alarm goes off again.Â
I have to get up.Â
For a moment, you consider quietly gathering your clothes and slinking out of the room. The comfort of running away and hiding where itâs safe, at a distance far, far away from him, entices you. Maybe the overall net hurt of abandoning him would outweigh that of letting him in your life again.Â
Then you hear him snore, his slackened lips making a boioioing noise on the exhale. You take a deep breath, your intermingled scents wafting off the stark white sheets that were dampened by sex and sweat. The tickle of his bed head against the nape of your neck.Â
Your chest tightens.Â
Maybe the overall net joy of letting him in your life again would outweigh that of abandoning him.Â
You wriggle around to face him, drag your fingers through his hair, and kiss his forehead. His lungs expand at the contact. A dry hum sounds from his throat. You cup his cheek and drag your thumb against the grain of the gray patch in his beard, then press your lips to the tip of his nose. At this, he hums again and smiles.Â
âI have to go,â you whisper.Â
âNo,â he croaks, one eye squinting open as he frowns, âStay here, baby.â
His deep, sleep-drenched voice tugs at your heart. You sigh, âI have to work.â
âLemme come with,â he mumbles, his limbs waking to pull you closer.Â
âDo you really want to?âÂ
He hums and nods, âWhen do we gotta go?â
âLike now,â you chuckle.Â
Dieter groans and rolls onto his back, then stretches his hands and feet as far away from his body as theyâll go. When he sits up and gets out of bed, your eyes follow, admiring the soft edges of him in the darkness.Â
âWant some clothes so you donât have to put a fucking tuxedo back on?â he asks you as he hovers over his open suitcase, rifling through its contents, then adds, âYou fancy motherfucker?âÂ
Sitting up and stretching, you yawn, âI suppose.âÂ
He tosses a pair of drawstring sweatpants and a soft t-shirt onto the bed for you, then starts tugging on clothes. The bedside lamp clicks as you twist its knob. Its light floods the room.Â
You wince away from the brightness and stand up out of bed, âYou really donât have to come with me if you donât want to. You can sleep in and come over later.âÂ
âAre you trying to get rid of me?â he smirks at you, gaze dropping to your tits for one last peak before you pull his shirt over your head.Â
âNo,â you scoff, âI just- yâknow, I donât want to make you think you have to-â
âTrust me, sweetheart,â he threads his arms through a black hoodie, âI want to.â
You walk around the bed and approach him, linking your hands behind his neck, âIf you say so.â
His puffy, dark eyes meet yours and they linger for a tender moment. He leans forward and kisses your forehead, then in a mumbles against your skin, âYouâre making me breakfast and coffee though.â
âDeal,â you chuckle.Â
Cool autumn air wafts into the apartment through the open windows, counteracting the heat thatâs been radiating from the oven all morning. The two air masses dance and swirl with the music from your stereo and the steam rising from cookies laying out on the cooling rack. Dieter is sitting at the counter across from you, sketching and keeping you company while you bake.Â
âWould you rather freeze to death or be burned alive?â he asks without looking up from his paper.Â
You tilt your head to the side and scrunch your face up towards the ceiling, tapping your index finger to your chin, then shrug, âFreeze to death.âÂ
âIt would take so long, though,â Dieter glances up at you with a furrowed brow, âWouldnât you rather just,â he makes a hand gesture like an explosion, âGet it over with?âÂ
âMmm, no, I hear the delirium from hypothermia fucking rules,â you pick up one of the cookies off the plate between you and split it in half. The soft craters and layers inside are exposed.Â
With a frown, he sets down his pencil and grabs a cookie. He stares at it as he considers this, but then declares, âIâd still choose fire.âÂ
âInteresting,â you nod in acknowledgment.Â
Dieter bites off a chunk of the cookie, moans and nods, then takes another bite before setting it down on the counter. He wipes the crumbs off his gray t-shirt, then picks up his pencil again.Â
âWould you rather take a vow of celibacy or a vow of silence?â you ask, then sink your teeth into the cookieâs thin crust. It gives way to the squishy middle. You hum and wiggle your shoulders in approval.Â
Dieter sits up straight, then shakes his head, âBurned alive.âÂ
âNot an option,â you chuckle.Â
He crosses his arms and pushes his mouth to one side, then glances up at you, âCan I break the vow?âÂ
âNo, you physically cannot break the vow.âÂ
âFine,â he sighs, âVow of silence.âÂ
âSame,â you snort, taking another bite of cookie.
âWould you rather your crush be able to read your mind or have access to your internet history?â
âIâd never subject you to this horror show,â you point to your forehead, then ponder out loud, âBut, on the other hand, if you had my internet history, youâd see how many times Iâve googled your name.âÂ
After the words leave your mouth, you wince at yourself. All the blood rushes to your cheeks.Â
He raises his eyebrows and leans forward expectantly. A shit-eating grin spreads across his face as he asks, âOh yeah?â
You bite down on the bottom lip of your smile and shake your head. He props his chin up on his fists and leans even closer.Â
You fold over onto the counter, hiding your face. The pencil clatters against the countertop, then his barstool squeaks and groans as he stands up and makes his way around the counter.Â
âThatâs adorable,â he chuckles as his hands snake around your waist from behind. He mumbles against your neck, âYou still have to answer the question, sweetheart.âÂ
âOh my god,â you shake your head. His fingertips tap against your belly as he waits patiently for you to continue.Â
âInternet history.âÂ
âAgreed,â he responds. His lips tickle your neck, âReally, if you can read someoneâs mind, you can ask them about their internet history and get all the details.âÂ
âBingo.âÂ
The oven starts beeping, so he lets you go and returns to his seat while you pull out the sheet pans and plop them onto their designated spaces on the countertop, each marked by dark green hot pads. After tossing your oven mitts down and turning off the oven, you lean over the counter towards him again, âWould you rather get rich in a way that disappoints your family or just make enough money to live?â
âWell I already do one of those things, so,â he mutters. His eyes are narrowed in concentration as he shades the humanesque figure on his paper.Â
You frown at him, âReally? Your family doesnât like that youâre a famous actor?âÂ
âNope,â he enunciates the P sound with a loud pop that draws your eyes to his plush lips, âPa is very traditional, machismo. You know, with his upbringing, and being a Marine and all that, he thinks what I do isâŠâ he stops drawing and gnashes his jaw to the side, trying to find the right word, finally settling on, âShameful.âÂ
You hum and nod. He resumes drawing. As he talks, you study the gentle tics that pinch and stretch his face.Â
âAccording to him, acting is something that gays and women do,â Dieterâs words are tinged with spite and exasperation, â MaricĂłn, heâd always call me. Which is like a, uh, slur for gay people. Fucking asshole âÂ
Fury on his behalf flares in your veins. Your vision tinges red when you imagine his father calling him this. You try to remain calm and neutral as you ask, âIs your whole family like that?âÂ
âMostly, yeah. Ma is supportive, but he doesnât like it when she talks to me,â the corner of his mouth shrugs up into his cheek, âWhen I visit, he and my brother donât talk to me, really. It, um⊠itâs pretty fucking shitty.âÂ
âHow many siblings do you have?âÂ
âJust my older brother, TomĂĄs. And heâs the golden child, you know. Heâs just like Pa. A colonel in the marines and very,â he beats his fist against his chest and makes an exaggerated stern face, âmanly.âÂ
You nod sympathetically and meet his gaze, âThat fucking sucks. Iâm sorry, Dee.âÂ
His lips purse into a pout and he sighs, âSo yeah. Rich and disappointing, it is.â
The way his eyes seem to flatten at the mention of his family squeezes your heart into a pulp. You want to hold him and absorb all the bad, like a healing stone. You want him to feel peace and belonging. You want him to see that he deserves it.Â
âI think itâs really great that you followed your dreams instead of letting some sad asshole dictate your happiness,â you tell him, reaching across the counter to offer your hand.Â
âThanks,â he takes it and gives you a squeeze, a wistful smile creeping across his face as he sighs, âWhat about you? Rich and disappointing or just enough to get by?âÂ
âMmm, well, Iâm a disappointment and barely make enough to get by,â you smirk, âSo I think Iâd rather be rich about it.âÂ
âBusiness isnât going well?â he questions.Â
âI mean,â you scrunch up your face and shrug, âItâs fine. Iâm able to make it work. But I lost a lot of clients when people had to start picking up versus delivery. And Ethan drained our savings buying blow before he died.âÂ
âHe did?â Dieter frowns. His thumb smooths a circle against yours. The motion soothes the uncomfortable stretch of opening up to him.Â
You nod and raise an eyebrow, âAlso, I donât know if you know this or not, but being a drug dealer doesnât really come with life insurance or a retirement plan.â
âOh, really?â he asks, voice dripping with sarcasm. A grin spreads across his face and warms you.Â
âI know, itâs kind of shocking,â you roll your eyes and smirk. The playlist broadcasting over your speakers ends. Quiet settles over the two of you. Itâs just his thumb grazing yours, both of you staring at the clasped hands.Â
âYou know, I can help you-â
âAbsolutely not,â you shake your head.Â
He tilts his head and scrunches his nose up, âWhy not?âÂ
âIâm not gonna let myâŠâ you falter here, mouth hanging open in limbo, unable to verbalize what the next word should be.Â
My what , exactly?Â
âBoyfriend?â he finishes.Â
Your gaze flicks to his and you see that his dark eyes are soft and hopeful. Heat creeps up your neck, onto your cheeks. Your heart starts pounding heavy in your chest. You canât stop the giant smile from beaming across your face, âIs⊠that what you are? My boyfriend?â
His thumb works faster against your hand now. He shifts in his seat with a shrug, Adamâs apple bobbing as he inquires, âIs that what you want me to be?â
Regardless of the voice in your head telling you to play it cool, you canât get the smile to dim, or lessen the giddiness thatâs bubbling in your chest. His tongue darts out across his lower lip and he mirrors the goofy ass grin on your face, dimpling his cheeks.Â
You stammer, âThat would be, um⊠that would be⊠yeah. Yes.âÂ
âOk,â he beams, âYouâre my girlfriend, then.âÂ
âOk,â you try to clamp your lips between your teeth in an attempt to smother the smile, but fail. It breaks free and lights up your face.Â
âFuck, come here,â he mumbles, pushing his stool back and making his way over to you. His palms cup your cheeks as he holds you against the counter, pressing his lips to yours.Â
The kiss is ripe with a hot, desperate kind of want. Its urgency drips down your back and settles between your thighs. Your hands creep up the loose cotton of his t-shirt, delighting in the heat of his body on your palms. He hums, leaning hard into your touch, tongue sliding soft and wet against yours.Â
A moan rumbles inside your throat. His hands trace the outline of your body, fingertips ghosting along the goosebumps lacing your arms, under the hem of the t-shirt you borrowed from him, trailing across the excitable skin of your abdomen. The gentle touch leaves quivering muscles in its wake, sparks of pleasure igniting a fire inside you.Â
âBedroom,â you mumble against his mouth. He pulls back and grabs your hand, squeezing your palms together like he canât stand to part the skin-to-skin contact for even a moment. A grin breaks out across your face as you watch the way he shuffles through the kitchen, down the hall, through your bedroom door.Â
You turn around to close the door, and his arms wrap around your waist. His lips press into the crook of your neck, then his tongue rolls against your pulse and you whisper, âOh my god, Dee-â
âMmm,â he hums, âCanât fucking get enough of you, Lua, you know that?âÂ
His teeth catch your earlobe and you gasp, a delicious ripple of ecstasy trickles down your spine. You anchor your hands in his hair, nodding in agreement. He drags his tongue along the shell of your ear. Your knees buckle beneath you as a rush of euphoria floods your brain.Â
Dieter pulls you back up, the puppeteer yanking your marionette strings taught. You turn around and barrage him with hungry kisses, urging him backwards.Â
Each blind step the two of you take is accented by lust-drenched panting. Both of you tug at the other's clothes, ripping off shirts and pants and underwear until thereâs nothing left and heâs tumbling backwards onto your bed, pulling you down after him.Â
You clamber on top of him, settling your hips on his. A hand lands at the nape of your neck and he pulls you in for another kiss. You whine into the feeling of his mouth against your own. The thick length of his cock parts your swollen pussy lips and grinds against you, earning a moan from your throat as the flames of pleasure lap away at your insides.Â
You lean back enough to bring his face into focus. Your fingers comb through his hair as you study his face, admiring how his lust-blown eyes drag across every inch of your body. He bites his bottom lip and meets your gaze.Â
His hands slide up your thighs, hips thrusting upwards, and he purrs, âFuck, youâre so goddamn beautiful,â he brings one hand to your cheek and brushes the pad of his thumb against your lips, âJust fucking look at you.â
Dieterâs words are dripping with raw wonderment. Heâs looking up at you like youâre some kind of divine miracle heâs been blessed to witness. Your heart throbs in your chest.Â
You let yourself sink into the warmth this man evokes. It's like wading into a hot spring, the way it sears your skin and soothes your aching soul. Your fingertips trace the contours of his face in an attempt to etch this moment into your long-term memory. His eyelids flutter and his lips part. A smile creeps across your face.Â
He drops his hands to the tops of your thighs, caressing them as he grins up at you, âWhatâre you smiling about?âÂ
âYouâre really goddamn beautiful, too, Dee,â you coo, eyes flicking down to his lips for a moment before meeting his gaze again. Desire saturates his features, heating the air between you, reeling you both in until your foreheads press together.Â
When you capture his lips in yours, he groans into the kiss. He rolls his hips, sliding his slick, twitching cock over your clit. You reach down and guide him to your entrance. His mouth gapes open, breath hitching as you sink down onto him. Gravity lowers you down, the electric stretch of him pulling a whimper from your throat.Â
âHoly fucking shit,â he chokes out. His digits dig into your thighs. All ten pressure points radiate a sinful ache. You moan against his lips and start rutting up and down the length of him. And, fuck, every single nerve ending he rubs along floods you with a high-frequency pleasure that makes your ears buzz.Â
He hums, trailing hot, wet kisses from your mouth, to your jaw, to your neck. His lips vacuum seal against your pulse and he sucks the skin between his teeth. A shudder echoes down the middle and you run your fingers through his hair, cooing, âThatâs so good, baby, yes- yes, fuck, Dee I fucking love it.â
With a wet pop, his mouth departs your neck and he rumbles, âWanna leave my mark on you-â his teeth bite down on the round of your shoulder. The sharp sting intertwines with the sheer ecstasy of him filling your cunt over and over again, and you let out a choked sob.Â
âWant everyone to know youâre fucking mine,â he growls, gripping your thighs even tighter. His greedy confession vibrates between the layers of your skin, âArenât you, Lua?âÂ
You whimper and nod, swallowing hard, eyes fluttering shut as he starts to fuck up into you. His cock drags back and forth over something so fucking delicious, it overrides your brain, and all you can think is more of that, more, more. Your fucking heart races and you break out in a sweat.Â
âTell me, baby,â his hands slide to your hips, where he tightens his grasp, âTell me youâre mine.â
âIâm yours, Dee,â you mewl, âAll fucking yours- oh my fucking god-â
âIâm yours, too, you know that?â he pants, âYou know how much I fucking care about you?âÂ
âYes-â the word come out in a choked sob, and you whimper, âFuck, that is so good, donât fucking stop, baby.âÂ
You fold over and press your lips to his, moaning into the kiss. Your hands roam to the sides of his face, thumbs grazing the patchy facial hair on his cheeks as you rest your sweaty forehead on his and take his cock.Â
âYour pussy is fucking perfect, Luaâ he husks, voice bouncing with each thrust, âLike fucking heroin, I swear to fucking god-â
âGod I fucking love it when you talk dirty to me,â you growl, then nuzzle against his neck, catching his salty skin between your teeth and sucking on it.Â
He moans and bucks his hips up into you. A muffled cry sounds from your throat as the shock wave of impact compounds on the already mounting pleasure and he starts panting, âYeah? You fucking love that, baby? You like when I cram my fat cock in that sweet pussy then tell you how good it fucking feels? Hmm?â
Your wrecked sob is buried against his neck, the edges of your mind peeling up as the ecstasy at your center starts to throb and grow. You release his neck and hover above his mouth as you moan through gritted teeth, âYes, I fucking love it, donât stop-â
âI wouldnât fucking dare. Wonât stop 'til I feel that tight cunt squeeze the ever loving fuck out of me-âÂ
A gasp expands your lungs as a wave of pleasure starts to swell, âOh- oh, holy shit- â
âYes- oh my god- thatâs it, baby- there we go,â Dieter purrs, driving into you at a maddening pace, âFuck yes, thatâs it.âÂ
Ecstasy crashes down on you, and your whole body quivers under its impact, pulling a strangled noise from your throat. He moans and his hands fly to your face to pull you in for a needy kiss, snapping his hips against yours, gasping against your mouth as he finds his release.Â
Your bodies slow their writhing and go slack. All those tingling muscles relax. You rest your head on his chest and melt into a puddle on top of him, eyes drifting closed as a satisfied smile creeps across your face. Dieter hums and lays one hand on the small of your back while the other pets your hair.Â
In the noiseâs inflection, you can hear him smiling, too.Â
The thud of his heartbeat against your cheek, the warmth of his skin flush on yours, the motion of his palm rubbing into the base of your spine, it leaves you weightless and euphoric.Â
Your bones buzz with this sensation that you canât quite put your finger on.Â
Like when you were a kid biking around the deserted streets of your hometown on a summer night. Wind blowing through your hair, cooling your sticky, sweat-drenched skin. Laughing as you and your friends took turns trying to navigate your bikes without touching the handlebars. When time was meaningless because all that existed was the moment you were living.Â
Itâs on the tip of your tongue, fluttering in your chest in an attempt to make itself known.Â
Dieterâs lips press against your forehead and he mumbles, âI could stay here forever.â
It hits you then. That feeling like sunshine and freedom and living.Â
Happiness.Â
Dieter is hunched over his sketchbook, eyes flicking up to the closed door that always seems to steep his soul in ice. The yellow, chewed-up pencil pinched between his fingers seems to move on instinct, skipping over his consciousness completely as the graphite tip glides across the buttery paper.Â
Youâre only a few paces behind him, handing off a box of cannabis-laced apple cider donuts to a client, but the melodic tune of your chit chat seems miles away.Â
A dark wall. An antique mirror. A pallid, silver-haired man inside the mirror, staring at him with vacant eyes.Â
The door to your apartment shuts. A metallic thunk from the deadbolt jolts him out of his trance. As he studies the illustration made in his fugue state, his spine stiffens. He chucks the pencil across the counter and pushes the stool out behind him to stand.Â
Of course, he recognizes Ethan.
Not just from the flashes of his face that grip Dieterâs heart like a hawkâs talons, but from that hazy period between winning an Oscar and COVID-19 lockdown.Â
The tall, angular man who arrived at a rooftop party in Greenwich Village with armfuls of edibles that blew Dieterâs mind. Ethan was only there for a short time, but strangely enough, meeting him is one of the only remaining memories Dieter has from that night.Â
He approached Dieter, who was shoveling a pot brownie in his face over a garbage can, with a disarming smile as he pointed to the dessert, âGood, right?âÂ
Dieter hummed and nodded, trying to quickly chew a mouthful in order to respond.Â
âNo worries, man, sorry for sneaking up on ya while youâre eating,â he chuckled and waved one hand in a dismissive gesture, then pinched a joint between his full lips. The orange flame of the lighter illuminated his face as he lit it.Â
By this time, Dieter was able to swallow the brownie and clear his throat, wiping his chocolate-tinged fingertips on his dress pants before extending his hand, âDieter Bravo.âÂ
âEthan,â he gave Dieterâs hand a firm shake, then held the joint out to him in offering.Â
Dieter accepted it, taking a few puffs as Ethan gave a sharp nod towards the partyâs epicenter, all lit up and crowded, âHaving fun?âÂ
His eyes scanned the party, noting how nobody seemed to be dancing, and how everyone kept looking at their phones, as if waiting for another Saturday night party option. He shrugged and passed the joint back, âSomething to do.âÂ
âFuck, dude, that bad?â Ethan laughed, the low notes coming out short little bursts from his belly. He took a puff off the joint and passed it to Dieter, âYouâre an actor, right?âÂ
âYeah,â Dieter responded as he pinched the joint between his lips and inhaled.Â
âI like your shit, man,â Ethan grinned and took the joint back.Â
âThanks,â he smiled and nodded in acknowledgement, then gestured to the display of edibles, âI like your shit, too. How is it⊠fudgy and crispy?â
âFuckinâ a, right? My girl bakes everything, sheâs a fuckinâ genius at that shit,â Ethan shook his head and grinned.Â
âAmazing,â Dieter nodded.Â
âSo tell me-â Ethan stopped to inhale, giving Dieter a moment to brace for whatever question the man was loading. On the exhale, he asked, âWhatâs your favorite shape?âÂ
Dieterâs head jerked back and he laughed, âFavorite shape?âÂ
âWerenât expecting that one, were ya?â a shit-eating grin spread across Ethanâs face and he passed the joint.Â
âWell, no,â Dieter stammered and took a hit, then scratched his chin and shrugged, âbut obviously itâs a triangle.âÂ
â Obviously , he says,â Ethan laughed and slapped his own knee, âThatâs good shit. Triangles are fucking cool.âÂ
âThey are fucking cool, arenât they?â Dieter chuckled and passed the joint.Â
Ethan took one more hit, then dropped it on the cement paver of the rooftop patio and smashed it with the toe of his shoe, âListen man, I gotta dip, but if you ever wanna order anything, text me or gimme a call. I can deliver to most places within city limits.âÂ
He held out a white business card that was completely blank except for a ten digit phone number handwritten in black ink. Dieter took it from him and nodded, âRight on.âÂ
âNice talkinâ to ya,â he gave a quick wave and turned to go.Â
âWait-â Dieter called out, then when Ethan turned around, he asked, âWhatâs your favorite shape?âÂ
âCircle, hands down,â he answered.Â
Dieter met with Ethan every once in a while after this to buy edibles. He admired how easy-going the man was, and of course, the quality of the product. He never put much thought into the encounters, because at the time, they were just drug deals.
But now, as Dieter finds his infatuation with you growing wider as each second passes, he has been trying to remember more about your late husband. Any kind of clue to explain how the Ethan he met on that rooftop ended up trying to end both your lives.Â
Thereâs something lingering at the edge of his memory, fuzzy and out-of-focus. It weaves its way between the tendons in his neck and pulls them tight.Â
âAre you ok?â you come up from behind him and hesitantly rest your hand on his bicep.Â
When he glances over at you, youâre searching his face, eyes gleaming with concern. His shoulders slacken and he shakes his head, confessing, âI donât know what the fuck just happened to me.âÂ
âWhat do you mean?â you frown.
Dieterâs eyes dart between your face and the page. His throat feels tight when he swallows, then clears his throat, âI donât know how to explain it. I was drawing, but I was totally fucking zoned out, and-â
Your gaze falls to his open sketchbook. You drop your hand loose to your side and take a step towards it. He sees your whole body go rigid as you study it.Â
âDid⊠did you go in that room?â you question, spinning around to face him. His stomach twists in a knot when he recognizes the fear in your eyes.Â
He stammers, âN-no, I wouldnâtâŠâÂ
Your body relaxes as you process this information, brow furrowing as you sigh, âNo, I know you wouldnât.âÂ
His nerve endings feel raw and exposed, skin crawling as the silence creeps into his ears like nails on a chalkboard.Â
âIs that what it looks like?â Dieter gestures to his sketchbook, then runs a hand through his hair.Â
You nod and fiddle with the drawstring of his pajama pants that youâre still wearing.Â
âI swear, Lua, I donât know what happened, it was fucking weird,â he runs a hand down his face and shakes his head, âI- I didnât mean to scare you or anything.â
âNo, I know,â you step towards him, hooking your hands at the back of his neck, âIâm sorry.âÂ
Dieter wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer, eyes flicking to the doorway he despises, then back to your face, âNo need to apologize, doll.âÂ
Your eyebrows press together, gaze unblinking. One of your thumbs starts oscillating against the skin at the nape of his neck. The comfort of your embrace seeps into his bloodstream, sedating his adrenaline-fueled heart. His eyes blink shut and he takes a deep breath as his muscles start to slacken.Â
âDo⊠Do you need to leave?â you ask him quietly.Â
His eyes snap open and meet yours, brow furrowing as he frowns, âIâm not leaving you.âÂ
A smile stretches across your lips and your face gets all flushed, then you stammer âI- I just mean- um, I donât want you to feel like you have to be here-â
âMmm, no, see,â Dieter smirks and brushes his thumb against your cheek, âWe have plans for a shitty movie marathon and I fully intend on keeping that date.â
âOk, but-â
âI think your boy just needs to mind his goddamn manners,â Dieter raises an eyebrow and nods towards the spare bedroom.Â
You tilt your head and frown thoughtfully, âHave you asked him to leave you alone?âÂ
âDoes- does that work?âÂ
âI dunno, maybe? Maybe he doesnât, like,â you scrunch your nose up and shrug, âKnow ghost etiquette?âÂ
He laughs and shakes his head, âGhost etiquette?âÂ
âI donât fucking know!â you start laughing from your belly, head falling back towards the ceiling as the melody fills his heart to the brim. He just fucking beams at you as you bring your gaze back to his and smile, âI donât know, Iâm justâŠâ your smile starts to fade and your eyes drop to the floor, âIâm sorry heâs fucking with you.â
He presses his forehead against yours and mumbles, âIâm fine, sweetheart, donât worry.â
When the term of endearment rolls from his lips, it doesnât taste like it has hundreds of times before. Itâs gooey and saccharine, melting across his tongue like those chocolates that come in shiny red heart-shaped boxes.Â
You hum, fingers tangling in his hair as you pull him in for a kiss. Your lips are soft and warm, moving leisurely against his. And, fuck, this makes it all worth it. The nights he spent wide awake, aching with want, tortured by the thought of someone else touching you. Flying across the country to track you down and argue with you in the street. Even dealing with the intrusions from your dead husband.Â
When you pull back to meet his eyes, your hands cup his cheeks, thumbs grazing against his facial hair, âThat was my last customer. Do you wanna run some errands with me?âÂ
âWould you rather be abducted by aliens or stranded at sea?â Dieter asks. Your head is cradled by his belly, body stretched out across the grass, perpendicular to his.Â
Youâre holding a blood red leaf above your head with one hand while the other is clasped warm against his. The sun hovers in the cloudless sky off to the west, heating him to comfort despite the crisp air on his face and the cool earth beneath his back. Thereâs a pile of plastic bags next to him, the results of this afternoonâs supply run. The two of you couldnât resist stopping at the park across from your apartment to bask in the sun before starting on dinner. Â
âAbducted, hands down,â you answer, closing one eye as you move the leaf close to your face, then further away, âYou?â
âBeam me up, baby.â
âWould you rather be trapped in a room with one million tarantulas for ten minutes or be forced to eat ten tarantulas in ten minutes?âÂ
âAre they alive or dead?âÂ
âAlive, obviously,â you drop your extended arm to your side and look over at him.Â
âFuck that,â he groans, âDo I have to?âÂ
You raise an eyebrow at him and smirk, âThemâs the rules.âÂ
âShit, I guess⊠I guess trap me in the room and hope one of them puts me out of my misery quickly,â he responds, stomach churning at the thought of eight million furry legs crawling around him.
âThatâs a good point,â you frown, then look back up at the sky, âSame.âÂ
âWould you rather never have kids, or have triplets that have to be in the same room as you until they turn 18?â
As soon as the question leaves his lips, his stomach flips with regret. Just one second too late, he remembers you telling him that youâre infertile. His body tenses as he tries to figure out how to shove his foot in his mouth at this angle.Â
You release a heavy sigh, then shake your head, âI, umâŠâ
âIâm- fuck, Iâm sorry,â he cranes his neck to look at you, âIâm an ass, I completely-â
âNo, itâs ok,â you reassure him, although your somber tone implies that it is not , in fact, ok. With a shrug, you answer, âIâve always wanted kids. Gimme the Velcro babies.âÂ
The muscles in his throat tighten as he contemplates what to say next, smoothing a circle against the back of your hand with his thumb.Â
Dieter considers answering his âwould you ratherâ question, but it morphs into âwould you rather Lua think you donât want kids when she does, or think you want kids when she canât bear them?â Â
Itâs more impossible than the tarantula question.Â
He also considers asking why you canât have children. Not that the answer would affect his feelings for you. Itâs just something that, like every other part of you, sits at the back of his brain, piquing his curiosity. He has this burning desire to unfold you and lay you flat, to hear all your stories ad nauseam, to memorize every single line of your verbal autobiography. He wants to know you better than he knows himself.Â
Instead of letting either of these things leave his mouth, or worse yet, changing the subject, Dieter waits. He stays quiet, but present, thumb grazing against your hand to reassure you that heâs there.Â
âI was a stepmom, though,â you say eventually, glancing up at him, âEthan had two kids with his ex-wife.âÂ
âOh yeah? Do you still get to see them?âÂ
âNo,â you chuckle, âMiri didnât really like Ethan having them, so I didnât see them much. I think I spent more time with them when we were sitting shiva than the five years Ethan and I were together.âÂ
Dieter hums in acknowledgment, then asks, âWhy didnât she like him having them?âÂ
âWhat, besides our very legal business dealings?â you snort. After a beat of silence, you roll on your side to face him, âThatâs⊠not true, actually. She doesnât know about that.â
He studies your thoughtful expression. You tuck your interlaced hands between your cheek and his belly and avert your gaze, then start picking at individual blades of grass from the earth with your free hand, âEthan was⊠an addict. She put up with a lot of shit before they split. And after they split, before we were together, there was a night where he got fucked up and left the kids at his apartment. They were only 4 and 8. Miri came to get them the next afternoon and they were still there alone. He said he completely forgot about them. They were all pretty fucked up about it.âÂ
âHoly shit,â Dieter breathes.
âI know, itâs so fucked,â you shake your head, âSo yeah, I get it. I never held that against her or anything. She was just trying to protect her kids.âÂ
You glance up at him, surveying his face as he listens intently, then return your attention to ripping blades of grass from their roots, âWhen we got engaged, she tried to warn me. But I didnât listen. I thought I knew him better. I did lines with him occasionally, and he didnât go off the deep end like that, so I thought he changed. Or like it was different because he was with me, like I cured him or something,â you scoff and roll your eyes, âSo dumb.âÂ
âItâs not dumb,â Dieter frowns and squeezes your hand, âPeople change.âÂ
You crinkle your nose and go silent.Â
A deep ache hollows out his chest. In that quiet moment, as he watches your face sag with skepticism, he vows to make a true believer out of you.Â
âHey,â he mumbles.Â
Your eyes flick to his. Electricity trickles down his spine and capsizes his stomach.Â
âThank you for sharing with me.â
A smile stretches across your face and you nuzzle against his hand, âYouâre welcome, love.âÂ
He licks his lips, takes a deep breath, then says, âAnd, um, thank you⊠for giving me another chance.â
You nod and hum in acknowledgment, but your smile falters a little as you search his face. Hurt still lingers in the background of your features. His guts twist when he recognizes it.Â
âSleeping with Katie was⊠fuck, I regret it every goddamn day.âÂ
âDee, itâs ok,â you mutter, gaze dropping to the grass. You pinch a few at a time now, ripping them away, their corpses growing into a small, green haystack.Â
â No , itâs not,â he asserts, and your eyes flit to his again as he spouts off, âYou know why? Because I knew how I felt about you, and I did it anyway. And then I fucking-â
âDieter-â you sit up and fold your legs under your body, releasing his hand to place a palm on his sternum.Â
He follows suit, pushing off the cool earth to cross his legs and lean close to you, âNo, Lua, we have to clear the air. Otherwise itâll keep fucking lingering and eating away at us.âÂ
You think about this for a moment, brow furrowed as you pluck a few more blades of grass. Then you look up and meet his eyes, nodding, âOk.âÂ
âOk,â he grins and straightens his spine, then beckons you closer, rumbling, âCâmere, beautiful.âÂ
You crawl into his lap, wrapping your legs around him and linking your hands behind his neck. He can smell the notes of vanilla and macadamia wafting off your skin and hair, see the conflict of this intimate kind of confrontation creasing your forehead.Â
His fingers grip your sides gently and he sighs, âI fucked up. I went on a fucking bender. It was embarrassing, how I acted. IâmâŠâ he shakes his head and meets your eyes as his face slackens, âFuck, so ashamed. And I didnât know-â
âItâs ok, love,â you assure him, pressing your forehead to his.Â
âBut thatâs what it was with Ethan, wasnât it? Coke?âÂ
You nod.
He slides his hands around your waist, cradling your spine in his interlaced hands, pulling you closer as he swears, âI promise thatâs the last time.âÂ
âDonât make promises you canât keep,â you mumble.Â
The impact of your statement makes him wince.Â
âListen, I know you donât believe me. And thatâs fine, Lua, it really is,â he pulls back to meet your eyes again, âI mean it, though.âÂ
You search his face, then nod, âOk.âÂ
The two of you stay here like this, gaze locked, steeped in the heat of vulnerability. Dieter relishes the way this invisible tether between your soul and his seems to thicken and pull taut. Adoration swells his heart until his chest aches at the excess luggage.Â
âI, umâŠâ you swallow hard, take a deep breath, then tell him quietly, âIâm sorry for icing you out.âÂ
He hums in acknowledgment, pulling you closer until your bellies are pressed together.Â
You nuzzle into the crook of his neck and sigh against his skin, âI felt so⊠I donât know, rejected? Like⊠embarrassed that I felt something when you didnât.âÂ
Dieter rests his cheek on your head and his eyelids flutter closed as he listens to you.Â
âIt fucking hurt. And that scared the shit out of me,â you confess, your voice shaky and damp, âI didnât thinkâŠâ you sniffle and wriggle your face against the collar of his jacket, âI didnât think I would feel like this again. Especially so soon.âÂ
His arms squeeze around you, hugging you as he admits, âI didnât think I would either.âÂ
In the distance, he hears geese honking in their flock, flying south for the winter. A brisk gust of air rustles the plastic bags laying on the ground a few feet away. Theyâre filled with apples, snacks for tonight, dry ingredients that needed restocking, and deli sandwiches. His stomach rumbles and a chill raises goosebumps across his skin.Â
As if you can read his mind, you mumble, âIâm fucking freezing. Letâs go make some soup.â
[ Next Chapter ]
#dieter bravo x f!reader#dieter bravo x female reader#dieter bravo x reader#dieter bravo x fem!reader#dieter bravo x you#dieter bravo#dieter bravo x ofc#dieter bravo smut#dieter bravo fluff#dieter bravo fanfiction#dieter bravo x y/n#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal character#pedro pascal character fanfiction#psychomanteum
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Firsts
Rating: 18+
Features: Copia x OC (Isobel)
Tags: idiots in love, fluff, just so much fluff
(Also available on AO3)
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It hadnât been a bad day, just a long one. By the time Izzy got back to their quarters, she was ready for a quiet night in. Just the two of them. The thought still seemed like madness, but then, so did the key in her hand. Her own key. To his door. Their door. For a long moment, she stood there in the hall, staring at it and smiling to herself before she realised how it must look. Hurrying inside before Papa Terzo could catch her and comment.
The rooms were silent and empty. Copia, she assumed, was still working. She made a mental note of the time and decided to give it another forty-five minutes before sheâd go drag him away from whatever paperwork was piled on his desk. In the meantime, Izzy wandered back to the bedroom to free herself from the prison of her work clothes and pulled on another from the endless supply of Copiaâs old shirts.
Finally ending up flopped on the couch, she turned on the tv just for the noise, and shamelessly buried her face in the throw pillow that still smelled like his cologne and hair products from the night before. He would be, in all likelihood, be home before long. But, sweet Asmodeus, sheâd waited so long to be right there, not only in those quarters, but in a place where it was safe, where it wasnât a secret, where it wasnât just a dream sheâd told herself so many times to let go of. And after everything theyâd been through, she wouldnât fall into the shame of wanting, needing, him close. Or, at very least, the comforting smell of him. Of home.
She hugged the pillow closer and waited, half dozing, for Copia to walk in.
A knock at the door shook her out of her reverie. She blinked hard at the empty room for a long moment, wondering what year it was while the sleepy brain fog still wrapped around her thoughts as thick as cotton. Izzy grabbed her phone, checking the time. The forty-five minutes sheâd given Cope was down to fifteen and she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.
Shoving herself up, she tried to shake off the last of the nap, and went to answer the door. A ghoul, she assumed. Who else would have knocked? Papa Primo almost never bothered them after hours, nor did Papa Secondo, and Papa Terzo typically kept his interruptions to when they werenât tucked away at home. The last person she expected to be standing there was Copia.
Her face split into a bright smile, chuckling softly. âDid you forget your keys again?â
âNo, no.â His cheeks went pink and there was something nervous about the way he stood there, hands tucked behind his back. âI⊠I want to do this properly.â
Izzyâs smile faded just a little, worry creeping in around the edges. âIs something wrong?â
âNo! No.â His eyes snapped up to meet hers. Bringing his hands around in front of him, revealing the bouquet of flowers heâd been hiding. âHeh⊠I⊠I was thinking that⊠well that⊠I never get to ask you out properly. So⊠would you let me take you on a date⊠tomorrow night?â
Copia held out the flowers and Izzy took them carefully. Upon closer inspection, they all looked strangely familiar.
âCopeâŠâ Her voice cracked. Lucifer be merciful, was there ever a sweeter man? âDid you pick these yourself?â
He blushed deeper. âSi. I swear I ask Primo first.â
She stepped closer, shifting the flowers to keep them from getting crushed, and kissed him softly. âThere is nothing in the world I would like more than to go on a date with you, Cardinal.â
Copia leaned in for another kiss, smiling against her lips. âFirst date.â
Izzy pressed her forehead to his, giggling. âHells, we are bad at doing anything in order, arenât we?â
âFucking terrible.â He giggled with her.
âYou knowâŠâ She stepped back just a little, grinning wickedly. âI typically donât sleep with someone on the first date. Thatâs more of a third date thing.â
All at once, Copiaâs expression fell and there was panic in his eyes. âIsobellaâŠâ
She couldnât help laughing. Pulling him into another kiss. âDo you really think Iâm in a hurry to go back to sharing a bed and pretending Iâm not dying have you?â
His hands shot out, tickling her sides in retaliation, and she gave a shriek as she hurried back into their quarters to escape the attack. âI think you love to torment this old man!â
âYes, but you knew that right from the start!â
Catching her around the waist, he pulled her down on top of himself, sprawled out on the couch. Leaving her time to set the flowers out of the way. Smiling up at her with the same stupid look heâd gotten so used to hiding. âI do. And I know, right from the start, that I love you with all my heart.â
âI love you too, Cope.â She settled down against his chest, kissing the light stubble along his jaw. Soaking up every bit of warmth and comfort she could. âMore than anything in the world.â
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Hello! I was wondering if you plan on addressing why your fics disappeared from AO3. You've got absolutely no obligation to do so, and I apologize if it seems like I'm prying as it's ultimately your personal choice. I only ask because I simply adore your characterization of Kanthony's love (and their lust) in your various AUs, and I re-read them periodically.
But, much more importantly, I just hope that you are doing okay. It has been wonderful to interact with you through your Tumblr posts and your AO3 fics, so I hope that nothing bad has happened. Cheers!
Hi!
I appreciate the kind words đ©·
Yeah, I took my fics down last night. Theyâre not deleted or anything. For now, theyâre in a little private collection and I like to envision that theyâre all little kittens dreaming peacefully and Iâve tucked them into bed and theyâre safe. Iâm sure Iâll put them back up at some point, not entirely sure when that is. Could be tomorrow, could be a month from now.
Iâve just been feeling a bit off as of late! Itâs a mix of irl things and fandom related things. Hate comments donât help, a culture of comparison doesnât help, and thereâs other things going on but theyâre for me to either address and/or work through and get over. Iâm just generally feeling not so hot and made everything private for the time being so that they werenât perceived and also so I couldnât look at my own work in a hypercritical way. Writing fic and engaging with fandom is supposed to be a fun escape and I donât want to damage the relationship I have with writing if Iâm looking at the process in a way thatâs harmful and will ultimately destroy that joy. Idk if that makes sense, Iâm sorry if it doesnât, itâs just kind of where Iâm at right now.
Thanks for checking in!
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Day 7: Free / Random Prompt
It's really hard to believe that this is already over.
I think I can speak for everyone when I say that I'm in awe of the creativity and passion of this community. As of writing this I can see 80+ fics in our AO3 collection and 40+ incredible pieces of artwork (of which I need to go back and tag more from day 1)! And with more to come - from people completing their WIPs past this date, to fics inspired by art and vici-versa, this blog will continue to be active as needed.
So... now what?
If you're looking for a last-minute prompt for today, we can recommend plenty of ways to get some (random) inspiration! Random page of the Encyclopedia Exandria / Random word generator / OTP prompt generator / AU generator / @ghostofwhitestone 's Spell prompts [roll 2d20?] / Wild Magic Surge table / Life events table
Comment, comment, comment! Gush in the tags of your favorite artwork, leave an essay or a massive keysmash on your favorite fics! Give back a little of the love all these creators have shown, especially the little ones that might be overlooked.
Speaking of: starting tomorrow, we'll be reblogging some pieces again to get more eyes on them!
Given the success of this celebration, we hope to give Perc'ahlia Week another shot next year! It will likely be from Monday the 23rd to Sunday the 29th, with the 29th keeping Yours / Later given it's the anniversary of Passed Through Fire. As for the rest of the prompts... well, it's a bit too early to start planning yet, but I can say there are plenty of excellent ideas for prompts going forward and we hope to make a poll to iron out the final list. Wayyyy down the line (as well as any other preferences for the event going forward: announcement date, anything to make it easier to participate, etc.).
I'd like to give a huge shoutout to all the participants: you've blown us away with your skill and creativity, and I really hope you got as much out of this experience as you put in. Thank you so, so much, you make this fandom a wonderful place to be in.
To those on the sidelines: your enjoyment of everything these creators share is half the fun! Thank you for joining us for the ride, and for letting your delight shine through. Hopefully you can join us next year!
And a final thank you to all the mods who helped this run smoothly: @essayofthoughts, @rightpastnowhere and @crithaus, it was a pleasure keeping this ship (hah! get it?) on course with y'all while also watching you offer your own contributions to Perc'ahlia Week. @burr-ell, my co-admin, thank you so much for helming this with me, your insight was always astute and your work dearly appreciated (im sorry for changing your nickname to butt-ell </3). Also thanks me @blorbologist i guess.
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this started as a meme but turned into an emotional rollercoaster đą and then an uplifting story about mental health?
So not that anyone asked but the thesis is going well which is why i am rewriting retired prometheus lmao
Stuff gets really mentally unhealthy down there
There are 15 google docs full of seperate chapters because bestie's laptop crashed when i tried to put her on the complete rp google doc???? My story kills laptops, what does yours do?
Bestie made a comment that the google doc chapters 1 through 7 is 100 pages long. And only chapter 1 is edited.
We put RP into that word count to page count converter and it says that the entire story is like 1200 pages or something. In comic sans it's like 1500 I think. Which we found delightful.
None of the chapters are updated yet on ao3 but it will end up longer lmao because i am adding scenes to help with pacing. Also to tie in the side stories and prequels.
All of this started because it's finally passed enough time since i wrote the ending that i can look at it objectively. Some parts of the story are very good and don't need as much rehauling though there are still those that haunt me.
There's this arc i dubbed The fucked arc in the story and i was going through quite possibly the worst part of my life and the writing is ineligible. I barely understand what's happening there. The sentence structure is all over the place. I only vividly remember not sleeping nights and wondering if I was supposed to kill myself and since the answer was yes, if I was going to do it tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. But I didn't want to die until I had finished retired prometheus, so i continued.
The writing in the fucked arc is bad, the content inside the writing is very vivid and heavy and why the folks who read my works endured until the writing got better again. I think about every review that encouraged me. I held onto those reviews like a lifeline and said: Well I promised I'd see this through. So I can't really end it yet. Abraxas and Tom haven't reunited yet for fucks sake *me wading through shitty sentences and awful pacing and a heinous mental breakdown* I need the toxic gays to kiss goddammit!
By the time I actually finished RP I had gotten into therapy and sorta healed. I say sorta because I never actually shook off what happened to me that year. I just kept thinking about it much less. But when I would remember it I would be consumed by my thoughts and I wouldn't really be able to get anything done.
Really the weirdest part was I thought that I was on a timer. Like I ever listened to timers to begin with. But I really rushed the updates like Hamilton in that Non stop song. Because I didn't know if I'd be alive to see the next update. If I'd jump in front of a car or if I'd drown in the sea off the coast of a beach I frequented.
Every big hiatus you'd see in retired prometheus on that chapter index page represents this really low point in my life. Because I only thrive in creative works when I am okay. When I am not deeply unwell. Back then I was.
I didn't really think about what others would say, but I only kept thinking about what a hassle it would be to kms. Though dying would be better than living on. Like that justice statue I'd be weighing the pros and cons of dying to myself. I'd try to get myself to have enough bravery to do it only to falter at the last second and be like as long as nobody knows why I want to do it, I can still pretend like my life isn't over. I can still smile through it and no one will be able to tell but me.
There's a photograph a friend of mine took with her professional camera of me from the summer of the fucked arc and I look like I'm ten years older than I am now. You could really just see the stress. Maybe my friend couldn't or she didn't know what I usually smiled like. I know my own honest smile and that's not something I can expect others to know. But my god I don't think I've ever been in more pain than I was then. Pro tip: don't zoom in on photos of yourself if you're going thru it! I personally think being a chain smoker for 30 years would have given me a kinder face.
Anyway writing would kind of be an excuse for me. So even if I hated everything i was writing I'd still post it because I didn't want retired prometheus to end up unfinished.
On so many occasions I bemoaned to bestie if I would ever finish writing retired prometheus because it was a ball and chain tying me to life. But also i kinda really did want to complete one project (ignores tens of tens of finished stories because they're not retired prometheus and they'll never be retired prometheus)
Then to add salt to injury my best friend not bestie kills herself a year later and I'm left like that pikachu meme going Hey Now! Hey! HEY NOW YOUNG MAN!
I felt like a poser because I was out there just thinking things and she was out there DOING IT!
A grief like nothing I had ever experienced struck me. I didn't know a person was able to feel such emotions until that moment. It was razing. It ruined every thought I had.
I realised such a lovely thing that at the time I hated: her death had shocked me out of my apathy. It thrust me into anger. Into something so deeply tangible I was struggling to accept it. She would never be someone I could hug again. Yet she thrust me back into life with such a vice grip I can feel her hands on my shoulders even now.
The people around me couldn't understand what I was going through. They saw me for the first time as someone at risk, because, if a close friend of mine died - then that, in this small minded country, meant that there was a cult going on. That my friend had not killed herself because she didn't see a way out but because she'd been conditioned to do it.
That because she had a rainbow in her Instagram bio and followed queer people. That's why she killed herself. Because queers in the Balkan remain a sect. A predatory group of people who are going to hurt your children and brainwash them.
I didn't want to kill myself anymore. If only because I had finally unlocked spite. Anger and spite got me on a bus. Secretly. My friend didn't tell anyone she was taking a day off work. I didn't tell anyone i was taking a day off work. My friend didn't tell anyone she was going on a bus to the tallest Bridge in our country. She was dead set on never coming back. And she knew we'd try to stop her. I didn't tell anyone where I was going because I knew my mother would scream at me. Just as she screamed at me in fear that I was going to be next.
Being put on the spotlight like that, for all the wrong reasons, made me want to do something I'd been afraid of doing for years.
I got on a bus that day because I was so tired of the Balkan. I was so tired of living in a place that was hell bent on making me feel worthless.
I got off the bus and walked towards a building not too far from the bus stop. Not too far from where I lived even. But I was wearing headphones and sunglasses and a hat and even a scarf. As I looked in the mirror in the hallway I thought that I'd dressed up just as I'd dressed Grindelwald in the Intermission chapters while he was running from the aurors.
If I had killed a person I would not have taken such effort to concealing my identity.
But where I had gone was a crime, you see. Not in a legal sense. But in a sense of *belief*.
What my friend had done could not be judged because she was dead and she didn't care for it anymore.
I could be judged. And I would be judged. Because that was the country I lived in. With the people I lived with. Who are scared to learn better. Who cling to the belief that what their parents know is good and what their parents know was even better.
Perhaps it would have been better for my family if I did kill myself than subject them to this humiliation?
It was summer. Not the summer of the fucked arc, but the fucked arc was still going. I had stopped asking bestie if would finish rp and if I would just get this stupid arc over. She told me I would. I didn't believe her.
My hand was shaking as I knocked on the door. Inside I introduced myself and said I had sent an email. From a burner email with a fake name. I did not want to give out my full name. But I had to. So I did.
Because not feeling anything was something I had accustomed myself to. Feeling so many things to such a degree as I had at the time was worse. I needed help.
HELP! Somebody! NOT JUST ANYBODY! HELP-
Naturally it only took all of 5 minutes for me to be cured of my mental illness and trauma. The therapist was a pro. And I was a writer with a flare for the dramatic.
Nudge nudge wink wink.
No, it took 5 minutes for me to breakdown about my friend killing herself.
5 minutes of me making jokes about trying therapy. 5 minutes of me trying to make light of the situation. 5 minutes of me being on the verge of tears and refusing to break down and be weak. Because I was better than everyone else who really needed therapy, you know. I wasn't mentally ill. I was just going through a tough time.
Mental illness was worse than if I killed myself. If I killed myself I could get away with being a drug addict. Anything was better than being mentally ill in the Balkan.
My therapist, like 5 minutes in: honestly I think everyone in the Balkan is mentally ill its just that nobody is getting any help for it.
Me thinking of every war this country has gone through only a 100 years back. I let a bunch of untreated mentally ill clowns hold me back from asking for help.
And for what???
Judgement???
I was doing something that took so much more bravery than killing myself would have taken. I was doing something no one in my family, for as long as my line has existed, has ever done: I was going to therapy.
I wasn't drinking rakija until I couldn't see. I wasn't smoking until my lungs gave out. I wasn't starving myself. I wasn't flinging myself from one emotion till the next and making others walk around egg shells around me.
It wouldn't be months until I'd tell my mother I was seeing a therapist, because this was a secret still. As if I was having an affair, I would lie and say I was going to the beach or that I was going drinking with friends. And I would take my bus. In the opposite direction both metaphorically and literally to the one my friend took when she decided to end her life.
The therapist was kind. She still is. But I'm glad she was the one who took me on. I didn't tell her about what happened to me, about why the fucked arc is so badly written. I couldn't get the words out of my mouth, my teeth were so gritted. So instead I talked about other fires that needed putting out.
And I thrived creatively. I wrote the ugliest things I've ever written and I loved it. I loved every word I was putting out there. I felt like myself again.
When my mother learned I was going to therapy she started shouting: Are you only going there to complain about what a terrible mother I am?
And I just remember saying: you *and* dad.
Much like you can expect, slavic parents do not understand that therapy is real and helpful. They think that this is like a drug. That if I become addicted to therapy I will not be able to function in society without having to consult my therapist, drink my therapy, and become a shell of myself.
After years of seeing an apathetic ghost, no doubt she blamed therapy for my anger and my outbursts and my having emotions. I, for one, blamed the bitch who killed herself and got me in this mess.
I swear to god this started as a meme post! Please believe me I had no intention of sitting down for hours on the couch to write this. I put on a dungeon and dragons episode from dimension 20 for fucks sake.
My mother is still against therapy. If I had a father I'd ask. But he'd probably say that writing was his therapy. Just like retired prometheus had been mine. No wonder he writes like shit.
A year later I finished retired prometheus and decided I wouldn't look back. Especially because I think the ending bummed a lot of folks out. And I was like you don't know what being bummed out is you fuckers you came to the mentally ill story and got to the end and you won't even leave a review shame on you don't you know I used to use those as a reason to live. Lmaooo actually just like that Key and Peele skit with the give a dollar save a child shtick. Leave a review and I live another day.
This is the part where we de-escalated this post somehow.
I need to go to work tomorrow. I need to sleep.
This rewrite was a long time coming. Because I know I can do better. I have grown so much more as a writer and I want that to be reflected in a story that is like an autobiography to me. I look at a chapter, at a line, and I know what people i used to hang out with. I know which cafes or bars i used to frequent. I read an inside joke and I laugh.
I don't want the fucked arc to hold me back. I know I can make it better.
But I can only do so now after years have passed. After I know with utmost certainty that I am okay.
It wouldn't really be until this year that I felt completely unburdened by the shit I was going through that year when the fucked arc began. So kind of as a commemoration to that I'm rewriting Retired Prometheus.
Gonna give yall some of those dvd menu extra scenes now because ur gonna finally read the deluxe edition.
#Suicidal ideation#I mean it's cringe looking back on it but I had still better tag it so I don't trigger anyone#If you wanna chat friends feel free to dm#Mado#Retired prometheus
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Mafia Love {MobBoss!Joel Miller x PlusSized!F!Reader}
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 21.8k
Warnings: Drinks, murder, abduction, drugging, forced marriages, mentions fat phobia/fat shaming, insults, body image issues, food/eating, dirty talk, rough sex, oral sex (female and male receiving), safe words, choking, degradation/dirty talk, multiple orgasms, miscommunication, angry Joel, confessions of love
Comments: Assistant District Attorney, witness to a crime, you are forced into marriage with the head of the Miller crime family, Joel Miller. Hating how you are forced to save your family and tied to a man who could kill you, or worse, make you fall for him.
Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers
**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.
|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||
Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.
"God, it's so good to just relax. I finished that big case and now I can let loose." You tell your friend Gianna whose birthday it is. She picks up her glass, clinking it against yours.Â
"Cheers to that." She grins, knowing how work takes over your life. It was inevitable, being a lawyer is hard work and you rarely get time to enjoy your personal life.
You finish your drink and stand up after grabbing your clutch, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom." You tell Gianna.Â
"Do you want me to go with you?" She asks and you shake your head, "no. Enjoy yourself." You tell her, offering her a smile before you make your way through the gyrating crowd. It takes a few minutes but eventually, you find the bathrooms. Huffing at the ever present line for the ladies, you wait and check your emails. Eventually, you use the bathroom and check your makeup. Once exiting the bathroom, the line has disappeared and you frown, suddenly feeling a little sick. The exit door is right there and you need air. You stumble out of the heavy door and that's when you see the man drop to the ground, blood splattered everywhere and you try to scream but nothing comes out. The man holding the gun is surrounded by a few others who move fast to rush after you but you manage to catch your nails in the exit door before it closes and you fling it open, rushing through the crowds, pushing your way through until you run out the front of the club. There's a taxi passing and you grab it, getting in and exhaling shakily, tears stinging in your eyes. You just witnessed a murder. It's too much to handle and you cover your mouth to silence the sob. You've seen a lot during your cases but nothing firsthand like that. You fumble to grab your phone from your clutch so you can call the police. "Fuck." You choke when you discover the battery is dead. "Shit." You tilt your head back to rest it on the seat, knowing you will have to phone the police tomorrow.Â
****Â
The next morning, you wake up with a headache, both from the booze and the horror you witnessed. The way the man's brains scattered on the concrete will stay with you forever. You grab your phone, biting your lip, and trying to decide if you should phone the police. You work for the DA's office after all. Surely they will believe you. You falter, knowing your story is ridiculous. You had a lot to drink, so was it real? Or part of some booze-induced nightmare? You aren't sure. Deciding to go for a walk to clear your head and get some coffee, you get up and get dressed. The air is cool and fresh and you are walking through Boston Commons when the car pulls up beside you. Two men get out and you try to run but it's too late. They grab you, dragging you into the black SUV and before you can scream, the needle is pushed into your neck. Your eyes roll into the back of your head and you wonder if you're going to die.
****
âGoddamnit Tommy.â Joel growls, curling his hand around his bourbon glass so hard itâs a wonder that the crystal doesnât shatter. Glaring at his younger brother and wondering why his mother cursed him by making him promise to look after him on her deathbed. âIâve fuckinâ told you about keeping that shit private.â Tommyâs latest incident is his most reckless yet and now they are in hot water. âSheâs a goddamn D.A. This wouldnât have happened if you had kept it to the warehouse like I fuckinâ told you to.â
Tommy shakes his head, âwe were tryinâ to track him down. Heâs a goddamn state senator. He owes us millions. He didnât give a fuck when he was benefiting from our networks, gettinâ drugs and weapons.â Tommy reasons, âI was impatient. He owed us too much.â Tommy growls and Joel hisses.Â
âThis is the fuckinâ shit that sent us runninâ from Texas.â Joel growls, knowing heâs spent years trying to establish the new network in the north east after leaving Texas once his mama had died and left the estate to him.Â
âShe wonât be a problem. The guys are getting her now and thereâs a solution.â Tommy says and Joel snorts, âwe ainât killinâ someone else. Especially a D.A. We will be raided before you can say lawyer.âÂ
Tommy shakes his head, âmarriage. A spouse canât testify against their husband.â He says and Joel scoffs, âlast I remember, brother. Youâre married to Maria.â He says and Tommy shakes his head, ânot me. You. You marry her.â
Joel is speechless, staring at Tommy like heâs lost his mind for a few moments and expecting the bastard to start laughing like it was some kind of joke. He doesnât. âNo.â He spits, hating the mere idea of marriage and being tied to someone again.Â
âThink about it.â Tommy jumps in again, leaning over and clapping him on the shoulder. âShe canât testify about something that happens with her husband. She canât be coerced into giving them anything.âÂ
Joel snorts, âbut she can be coerced into marriage? Tommy, I swear our mother dropped you on your head.â The bad thing is that it would make his problem go away and that makes him frown even deeper.
âSheâs pretty. I looked her up. Sheâs your type. She - she has a sister and a niece. We could threaten them. Coerce her into marrying you and then when the case is dropped, you can divorce her. Itâs a great idea, even you gotta admit that. She wonât be able to testify against our family and we continue doing our shit. The fuckinâ Firefly assholes in New York would love to see us in the clink.â Tommy growls just as Tess walks into Joelâs office.Â
âYou have a delivery waiting for you in the garage.â She says, confused and suspicious when Tommy looks back at Joel.Â
âCome on.â Joel gruffs and the younger Miller brother follows him through the house.Â
âGo away.â Joel growls at Tess when she tries to follow.
****
Your head aches, your eyes feel heavy and you try to open them, hearing male voices and you suddenly remember what happened. Grunting, you try to move but your hands are tied behind your head and your eyes are blindfolded. âWha- where- Iâ You rasp, throat so dry that you canât even speak.
Joel stares at you, his dark expression not giving away his inner thoughts. Hands crossed over his chest, he knows he looks imposing. Or he will look imposing when your blindfold is eventually taken off. You are pretty. Just on the other side of plump, you are curvy and lush in all the right places. He admires you for not crying immediately when you stiffen, realizing that you are being held captive. He nods at Tommy, giving him permission to remove the blindfold.
You blink rapidly when the blindfold is removed and you look up to see the man you witnessed kill someone and the other is broader, his eyes dark and intimidating and his arms crossed, making his muscles bulge. He has gray hairs weaving through his locks, a scruffy beard, and you know he is capable of killing you with a flick of his wrist. You swallow, throat so dry with fear and you look between the men. âI- are you going to kill me?â You gasp, terrified about whatâs going to happen to you.
The naked fear in your eyes gets to Joel. He doesnât have a problem killing, heâs done plenty of it. Except heâs having a hard time imagining you laying there lifeless. Tommy steps forward. âYou were in the wrong place at the wrong time.â He tells you apologetically, pulling his gun out from behind his back.Â
Joel knows his impatient brother will pull the trigger. âYouâre gonna marry me.â Joel announces. âOr Iâm going to kill your sister and your niece.â
You are shaking, the gun pressed against your temple is still there as the older one declares youâre going to marry him. âYou- you - oh my God. Why- why marry - why do you want to marry me?â You ask, voice shaky and your lower lip trembling as the one you saw kill lowers his gun and you inhale deeply, still scared but relieved the gun isnât aimed at you.
âI- I wouldnât be married to you. You are the one who I witnessed murder someone.â You huff at Tommy, not wanting to be lectured about the law.Â
âItâs still family and if I go down, so does Joel. You wonât be able to testify against the family.â Tommy argues and you look up at Joel when he growls, âenough of the law bullshit, yes or no? I have men outside of your sisterâs place in Maine. 1256 Florence Lane. Your niece goes to Bellview Elementary?â Joel rattles off and your eyes widen, knowing that these are dangerous men. You canât risk your family. You will figure out how to escape. For now, you just need to comply.Â
âFine.â You spit at Joel, âIâll marry you. If you kill me, thereâs no guarantee you wonât go after my family anyway. I need to make sure they are okay.â You barter, knowing that this is your reality until you figure out your next moves.
He watches you for a moment and then nods. âFine.â He agrees, straightening slightly. âWe will get married in two days. I will have my men pack up your things and bring them to the house.â He tells you without any emotion in his voice. âTommy, take her to the blue suite and let her clean up. Get her some breakfast.â
You are in shock, reeling from the news that you are going to marry a man you donât even know. Nothing beyond his name and his job. The younger one, Tommy, unties you and grabs your arm. âMaybe not so rough.â You huff as he guides you out of the garage and through the house. Itâs beautiful. Not what you expected at all and you know you arenât in the city. You stumble as he drags you along the halls until you are shoved into a room, itâs blue like the name dictates and you take a moment to admire the decor. Thereâs no way two men decorated this home. âCan I call-?â The door is slammed and locked and you slump against the wall as tears sting in your eyes. Youâre trapped.
âGoddamnit.â Joel huffs, walking into his office and dropping down into his chair and rubbing his eyes. The fucking Fireflies are all over his ass and FEDRA was breathing down his neck.Â
âWhatâs wrong with you?â A sarcastic snort comes from a chair off to his left and he sighs, opening his eyes to find Ellie staring at him.Â
âWhat are you doing here?â
âBored.â Ellie shrugs, spinning one of the chairs he has in his office. Her legs kicking out as she grins. âWhatâs died and crawled up your ass?â She asks him, tilting her head with teenage curiosity that tends to drive Joel insane.
âNothing you need to worry about.â He grunts, looking at the girl of one of his former Lieutenants. He had gotten killed, and Joel had taken responsibility for the girl. He sighs, knowing he should warn her about you. âThereâs a woman gonna be living here. Donât bother her.â
Ellieâs eyes widen. âA woman? For what? For who?â She asks, ever curious and wondering if sheâs going to be with one of the girlfriends or if she is going to be a worker. âMe.â Joel says and Ellie canât help it, she throws her head back and laughs. âYou? You? Please. Donât joke like that Joel. Youâre gonna give me a heart attack.â She sasses and Joel rolls his eyes.Â
âSheâs going to be my wife.â He explains and Ellie nearly falls out of her chair. âWife?â
âYes, wife.â He hisses irritably, wondering how the fuck he could get her to shut up. He should have never said a word. âItâs a temporary thing, so donât get attached.â He warns her, knowing that despite his warning, Ellie will do what she pleases and he can almost guarantee that as soon as she leaves his office, she will go find you.
Ellie shakes her head, âyou? With a wife? Oh boy.â She stands up and slaps her knees. âWell, Iâll see you around.â She says, determined to find you and discuss the fact that you are going to marry Joel. Joel grunts and she swiftly exits his office, running through the house until she hears sobbing. She knocks on the door and you shuffle back, stopping your crying to worry if someone is going to kill you. âWho- who are you?â You ask the teenager, confused by her appearance.
âIâm Ellie.â She announces, walking in nonchalant and dropping into a chair to face you. âAnd youâre the woman Joel is going to marry. Why? Heâs so fucking old? And heâsâŠ..Joel.â She thinks youâre pretty, even though itâs been obvious that youâve been crying. âThat doesnât mean you have to cry about it though.â She looks at you curiously, waiting for you to answer.
âJoel isâŠyour dad?â You ask and she shakes her head, âno, oh hell no. No. He - he was my dadâs boss. My dad was killed in a car accident when he was chasing someone. It - my mom died when I was born so yeahâŠtragedy kid. Joel felt sorry for my orphan ass and took me in.â She shrugs, ânot a bad place to be taken in.â She gestures to the bedroom, âalthough Iâm not Sarah.â She murmurs and you frown, âwhoâs Sarah?âÂ
Ellie curses, âoops. Said too much. Maybe ask Joel. Yeah so, uh, why are you marrying Joel?â She asks and you sniff, wiping your eyes.Â
âBecause heâs gonna kill my family if I donât.â You whimper and Ellie snorts, âJoel might seem like a bear and sure heâs dangerous, heâs killed, but it didnât used to be that way. His uncle was actually in charge of the Miller household and Joel used to be a contractor but when - well, ask Joel about Sarah and Helen, uh, and yeah, he wasnât always this way according to men Iâve spoken to.â Ellie explains and you realize you have even more questions.Â
âI - I canât risk my family. Even if I have to sacrifice myself.â You murmur and Ellie nods in understanding. âWell, welcome to the fam.â She grins, âI like you already.â She declares and you offer her a soft smile, âthanks. It was nice to meet you.â You tell her and she nods, backing out of the room.Â
You sit there for another few moments before you decide that if you can get to a phone, you can phone your sister and warn her then maybe you can escape. You creep to the door, listening and when you donât hear footsteps, you make your way into the hall, figuring there must be a house phone somewhere and your guess is the kitchen. You sneak downstairs, trying to find the kitchen in the ridiculously large house and you grin in triumph when you find the kitchen is empty and thereâs a phone on the wall. Picking it up, you dial your sisterâs number that you have memorized for emergencies and it starts to ring.
The light on Joelâs desk phone lights up and he sees that the kitchen phone is in use. He had expected you to try to call your sister. He picks up the handset and speaks into the phone. âIf you tell her, our deal is off and she becomes a liability.â He growls into the phone, listening to it ring once more and then the sound of your sisterâs voice comes over the line, answering.
Your heart pounds when your sister answers and the urge to call for help is on the tip of your tongue but Joelâs growled warning echoes and you greet your sister. âThis isnât your cell?â She asks and you clear your throat.Â
âIt died. I just - I, uh, Iâm using a friendâs phone. I just wanted to make sure youâre okay.â You say and she is suspicious.Â
âWhyyy? I love you but youâre so busy with work. You never call.â She says and you hate that sheâs right.Â
âI was thinking of you guys and wanted to see if youâre doing well.â You lie slightly and your sister smiles against the phone, âwe are doing good. The brat has a spelling test tomorrow so sheâs been studying.â She says affectionately and you grin against the phone. Your niece gets everything she wants but sheâs a good kid, brat has been her nickname since she was a baby.Â
âGood. Iâll, uh, Iâll have to take some time off to come see you guys.â You say, tears stinging in your eyes because you know that wonât be likely, especially if Joel kills you.Â
âThat sounds good. Just let me know. Oh shit. I gotta go. The cat just got out.â She curses and you smile, knowing the kitten always tries to escape from the photos she texted you.Â
âIâll talk to you later. I love you.â You tell her and she snorts, âlove you too. Talk later.â The line goes dead and you lean against the wall, inhaling deeply and glad that your family are alive. You have to keep them safe. They are all you have left.
âCome to my office.â Joel hangs up the phone and then stares at it for a moment. He knows you are upset. He knows you would rather do anything but marry him, and he really doesnât want to marry you. But he will in order to make sure that Tommy doesnât go to prison. He leans back in the chair and waits for you to arrive, not exactly sure what he is going to say to you.
Your hands tremble as you set the phone down. You donât know where Joelâs office is and try a few doors until the double doors open and Joel stands there, face like thunder. He gestures for you to walk inside and you do, silently praying to whoever will hear you that he wonât kill you right now. You decide to stand tall when youâre in his office, not wanting to die a coward if he does kill you. âEllie unlocked my room.â You declare, wanting him to know how you got out, âand I wanted to make sure you kept your word that my sister is safe.â
He knows that silence intimidates, so he doesnât say a word, just watches you. Waiting until you squirm slightly and start to speak again. âAfter we are married, you can have your phone back.â He decides. âCall her everyday. You keep your end of the bargain, Iâll keep mine.â
You cross your arms, âhow do I know you wonât just kill me anyway?â You ask and Joel steps closer to you, looming over you and you inhale sharply as his dark eyes meet yours.Â
âI may be a monster but I am a man of my word.â He promises and you nod, swallowing harshly.Â
âAre you- do you expect us to have - once we are married, do you expect sex?â You ask, wondering what he wants from you.
Joel snorts, insulted by the horrified expression on your face. âNo, darling.â He sneers, rolling his eyes. âYou donât have to fuck me. Iâll make sure that I satisfy my primitive urges so I donât drag you off by the hair to fuck you.â He knows heâs being harsh, but itâs better that you just steer clear of him rather than trying to get to know him.
You blink, tears stinging in your eyes as you feel unexpectedly rejected by the gruff mafia boss. You understand, he probably has a line of beautiful women waiting to fuck him and youâreâŠyou. âRight well, I guess we both know where we stand. Iâll head back to my room. Youâre having my things brought here? How do you- wait, dumb question.â You stop yourself with a humorless chuckle as you step away from him to head towards the door. âI need to call my work too. Tell them Iâm sick or - or something.â
Joel considers telling you no, but he is aware of how seriously you are taking his threat. âFine.â He motions towards his desk as he wonders why you suddenly teared up. You should be jumping for joy that he promised not to touch you. âMake the call right here.â He demands.
You nod, walking over to his desk and you pick up the phone to dial the D.Aâs office. âThe line is untraceable before you try anything.â Joel tells you and you nod. The receptionist answers and you ask to be put through to the office. You tell your team that you have to go to your sisters. Family emergency and you donât know when youâll be back. The excuse is flimsy but youâre hoping Joel and his family will let you go once enough time has passed. Your team wishes your sister well and you put the phone back in the cradle.Â
âI didnât tell them anything.â Your eyes meet Joelâs, your back straight in defiance as you ponder your future here. You wonât let him walk all over you.
âI heard.â He assesses your fatigued look, the puffy, red rimmed eyes and the way that your eyes narrow when you think heâs not paying attention. He strides over to his desk and pulls open a drawer, pulling out a bottle of aspirin and setting it down before opening another drawer and pulling out a crystal glass to take over to his bar and get a bottle of water out of the fridge. He pours you a double whiskey and brings it and the water over to set down beside the aspirin. âHair of the dog.â He tells you. âHelps with the hangover and the drugs they used on you.â
You are suspicious of him suddenly being so nice but then you realize that he probably doesnât want you to hate him when youâre going to be living in his house. Youâre going to be his wife for the foreseeable. âThanks.â You open the bottle of aspirin, knowing you should be concerned about the pills, but the man couldâve shot you. You donât think poisoning you is his style. You grab the whiskey, downing it as the reality of being his wife crushes you. You always imagined youâd marry for love, not to keep alive. âThanks.â You say again as you set the crystal glass down.
âAre you hungry?â He had given his housekeeper, who normally cooks for him, the day off since he didnât know how you would react. But if you are hungry, he wonât let you starve. There are plenty of nights he makes himself an egg sandwich when he works late. Or the kid wakes up hungry and demands he make something.
You bite your lip, âI, uh, I usually skip breakfast. I can just grab a granola bar or an apple.â You shrug, not wanting to put him out and you shouldnât eat a lot if your wedding is in a couple of days. Youâre certain he wants a beautiful wife, even if itâs a fake one.
Joel frowns, and the silence between you is enough that he can hear your stomach growl. âRight.â He huffs, shaking his head. âFollow me.â He demands, striding towards the door of his office and throwing it open so he can take you back to the kitchen.
You follow him through the house, downstairs and you see several men roaming the estate. When you enter the kitchen, he gestures for you to sit down. âSeriously Joel, I donât need a big lunch. I- I should be making you something. Seeing as Iâm supposed to be your wife in a couple of days.â
âYou can cook for me then.â He tell you shortly, turning towards the large stainless steel commercial fridge. âUnless you plan on poisoning me.â He huffs, looking over his shoulder as he opens the door. Heâs joking, but his voice is still pitched down and gruff.
You shift to sit down at the counter and watch him. You never imagined that a man like Joel would be able to cook anything. You watch his muscles move under his button down and you know you shouldnât find him attractive. You should be revolted by him but you arenât. He grabs some things out of the fridge. âAny allergies? Anything you hate?â He asks and you shake your head, âno. Iâm pretty easy to cook for.â You tell him and he nods, walking over to the pantry. âYou have a beautiful home.â You tell him, trying to make some conversation.
âItâs a house.â He offers, pulling out some things and then turning back towards you. âItâs safe. Itâs imposing.â He adds, smirking slightly. He doesnât mention that itâs not really a home. Not in that traditional sense. He hasnât had a home for a long time. âPasta is good for a hangover.â He tells you. âThat okay?â
You bite your lip, knowing you shouldnât but you are starving. âSure. That sounds good.â You offer him a small smile, grateful that he doesnât seem to want to kill you anymore. âI met Ellie. She seemsâŠa handful.â You chuckle softly, already sensing that he doesnât seem like a man who has patience.
He rolls his eyes. âSheâs a pain in my fucking ass.â He grumbles, even though he would kill for that kid without any hesitation. It doesnât mean that she doesnât annoy the shit out of him every chance she gets. He pulls out a cutting board and a knife to start chopping garlic and onions.
You can hear the affection even if he grumbles and that calms you a little. A bad man wouldnât take in an orphaned teenager. âShe said you seem like a bear but you didnât used to be this way.â You tentatively ask, âshe loves you. SoâŠso I donât feel as in danger as before. I trust her.â
âYou trust a little brat you met for five minutes?â He asks, raising a brow as he pauses in the mincing. âInteresting. Is that a skill you picked up in the D.A.âs office?â
You snort, âIâm a good judge of character. Iâve dealt with the worst of the worst cases and I have a good gut instinct.â You defend yourself and Joel turns to look at you, knife in hand.Â
âAnd me? Do you trust me?â He demands with a frown.
You lean closer, refusing to be intimated. âIf you wanted to kill me, youâve had several changes including now. I donât trust you but I know youâre not going to kill me. Otherwise why would you marry me?â
You have a point and he nods once before he looks back at his task. SautĂ©ing the onions and garlic in olive oil, he adds crushed tomatoes and fresh basil from the garden that Ellie decided to grow in the backyard. It was more accurate that the gardener grew it, but she likes to take the credit for it. âIt would save me a lot of headache if I did kill you.â He tells you, his back to you at the stove.
You stare at him, watching him cook and finding it horrifically sexy. You should not be attracted to this man, this self proclaimed monster, but heâs so capable and you find yourself trying to reason with kicking out every moral you have. âI- I agree it would.â You donât argue that point. It would be easier to kill you. âHowever, the Boston PD arenât dumb. They will find evidence of the state senator's murderer. Itâs a big case, high profile. They wonât let it slide.â
âThey wonât have an eye witness.â He reminds you, turning towards you and cocking an eyebrow at you in challenge. âMight even be a good thing that my wife is a D.A.â He chuckles roughly.
You huff, crossing your arms on the counter. âThey will check cameras.â You counter and Joel snorts, âyou think we arenât professionals, darlinâ?â He asks and you bite your lip.Â
âWhatâs the end game here? Keep me hostage as your wife until when?â You ask and Joel turns to look at you.
âWhen enough time passes and we know they have dropped the case.â He says, âmaybe you can even help with that.â He raises his eyebrows and you scoff, âI canât do that. I- I wouldnât be able to live with myself if I dismissed a case without cause.â
âThere is cause.â Joel reminds you. âTommy got rid of a piece of shit. Who cares? He was embezzling money from the state. He deserved to die for lying to the people he claimed to serve.â
âAnd he deserved to die for that?â You counter and Joel scoffs, âwell and the human trafficking. I deal in drugs and weapons. People decide to use those things whether I smuggle them or not but I draw the fucking line at little kids, at women. No way. Iâll kill anyone who deals with that shit.â Joel growls and your eyes widen, unaware of the senatorâs dark side.Â
âShit. I- I didnât know.â You whisper, staring across the room.
âNow you do.â He tells you bluntly, salting the pasta water and humming when it starts to boil. âWhat you do with that information, thatâs up to you.â
"Well, nothing I can do if I'm married to you, is there?" You counter but you decide that you could tip off a journalist, expose the senator. You know it's bad to speak ill of the dead but the people deserve to know the truth. You watch Joel continue cooking until a bowl of pasta is in front of you. "This looks - wow." You blink rapidly and look up at Joel who sits beside you with his own bowl. "It looks amazing." You compliment him just as a woman walks into the kitchen, her eyes immediately narrowing when they land on you and Joel.
âJoel.â Tess frowns slightly but her lips twist into an insincere smile. âWho is this? And why is there a D.A. Attorney sitting in your kitchen eating pasta?â She knows who you are, she just wants to know why you are here.Â
Joel says your name, and then points to Tess. âThis is Tess. Sheâll be here sometimes.â
You can see from her expression that thereâs more than that between them. You set your fork down and stand up, offering your hand to Tess who narrows her eyes at you and doesnât shake your hand. âItâs nice to meet you.â You say, your smile falling a little and you step back towards the counter to sit back down.Â
âWe are getting married.â Joel says nonchalantly and Tess sputters, âmarried? What the fuck, Joel? What - when - why?â She asks, confused by the announcement.
âTwo days.â Joel flicks his eyes up to Tess and then back down to his food. He cares about her, how could he not care about a woman who had been with him through his brutal assumption of power? Still, things are easy with Tess, uncomplicated in the way he likes although he knows sheâs always wanted more. âTommy.â He tells her, as if that will explain the reasoning behind the marriage.
Tess scoffs, âhe got you into this? I shouldâve known. Fuck me, Joel. Sheâs a D.A. Sheâs gonna - this is bullshit.â Tess shakes her head and Joel sighs, not wanting to get into this.Â
You clear your throat, âI witnessed something I shouldnât have. I- I am marrying Joel so I canât testify against the family. This is to protect the family.â You reason for Joel, knowing youâre still struggling to come to terms with it but you donât want Tess to be angry with Joel when he couldâve killed you.
âTo protect the family.â Tess snorts and shakes her head. âRight. This is going to go well.â She says and arches a brow at you. âDo you know what you are getting into with him?â She asks, hooking her thumb towards Joel. âWhat heâs done and what heâs capable of?âÂ
Joel grunts, narrowing his eyes. âTess.â He growls, annoyed that sheâs trying to scare you off of this.
You straighten your spine, âI donât, but I think I can imagine. I know the Millers arenât good men but my family is on the line and I canât allow them to be hurt because of me. Whatever he has done or who he is, we are getting married and thatâs that. I- I understand if youâre hurt but this isnât my choice. I have to do this.â You plead with her to understand where you are coming from.
Tessâs gaze slides towards Joel questioningly and he shakes his head. âItâs done.â He tells her. âDonât ask any more questions.â He grunts and nods towards you. âFinish your dinner.â
Tess canât help but lash out, âfine. Marry the fat bitch. Donât come crying to me when it all goes wrong.â Tess hisses and you are about to take another bite of pasta when you pause, setting the fork down as Tess spins and makes her way out of the kitchen.
Joel sighs and shakes his head. âDonât listen to her. Sheâs pissed because she is the one who spends nights in my bed.â He reveals. You nod but you donât pick up your fork to eat. It pisses him off because he knows that you didnât eat enough to assuage that hunger. Cursing under his breath, he spins your chair around and reaches for you. Hoisting you out of your chair and onto his lap.
You squeak when he drags you into his lap. âJoel!â You gasp, shifting to move off of his lap but his arm wraps around your waist, keeping your back against his chest. âYou need to eat.â He says and you shake your head, âIâm sure someone in your position wants a perfect wife. You donât - I can grab an apple and go back to my room.â
Joel picks up the fork and spears some of the pasta and holds it up to your mouth. âEat.â He grunts at you. âI donât care about having a perfect wife. You are fine just like you are. Soft and lush.â His cock twitches underneath you.
You are shocked at the compliment, your eyes darting to his as you take the bite from the fork. His hand rests on your thigh and you swallow obediently, eyes closing for a second. The very act of him feeding you has your stomach twisting with arousal. Itâs wrong. So wrong, yet you start to get wet as he feeds you bite after bite, his hand squeezing your thigh every now and then.
âGood girl.â He tells you when the plate is empty and youâve finished every bite. He squeezes your thigh and pats it once he drops the fork back onto the plate. âDonât ever starve yourself. You eat and eat what you want.â
âYes sir.â You murmur, your eyes meeting his and you see the years of anguish in them. You want that to melt away. You wonder what heâd look like if he was happy, what he looks like when he smiles. You get so lost in your thoughts you donât even realize youâve leaned in to kiss him. The man you should hate for taking everything away from you yet he just showed you more kindness than most.
He sees that you want to kiss him. Lost in the moment, the intimacy and he knows you will regret it. Joel pulls back and pats your leg again. âGood.â He tells you gruffly and watches you pull back in shock at yourself. He knows it was the right move to pull back, to not take advantage of the situation. Of you.
You blink, shocked he didnât kiss you back. You feel sick with embarrassment. He must think youâre pathetic. Trying to kiss the man who has kidnapped you and is holding you hostage. You shift off of his lap, clearing your throat. âIâm gonna - I need to - oh God.â You gasp out and rush out of the kitchen, face burning with mortification and you know he could take advantage of that moment. Any hand you couldâve played is gone and he holds all the cards.
Joel sighs as he stares at the doorway that you disappeared through. He knows you are upset now, apparently he had been supposed to kiss you. He doesnât know why you are upset since you had appeared horrified about sleeping with him. He stands and starts to clean up, wondering if he will see you again tonight.
You keep in your room for the rest of the day, surprised when your things are placed in your room. Boxes and suitcases. It seems to be everything you own except your furniture. You sigh and start to get out your essentials, placing them in the en suite bathroom. Dinner is left at your door after you made it clear you werenât coming to dinner and you eat in peace, contemplating the fact that youâll be Mrs. Joel Miller in 48 hours. You think about why you wanted him to kiss you. Sure, heâs attractive with his gruffness and the gray scattered throughout his hair and beard. You shouldnât want him to kiss you. You should hate him. The confusion has your head hurting until you fall asleep on top of the sheets, too exhausted to even get under them.
Joel wakes up early. Groaning slightly at the stiffness in his joints and the aches and pains that come with getting older. He sits up and looks over his shoulder at the empty bed. Tess didnât come back last night, so he had slept alone. Actually preferred it that way considering he didnât know what to do with you. He opens the door to the bedroom out onto the back patio and decides he will take a swim to limber up before getting to work.
You wake up, back aching from sleeping in the same position all night and you glance around, disorientated until it hits you what happened. You sigh and shift to sit up, stretching. You realize how trapped you are here and you groan when you remember the way you tried to kiss Joel. Today, youâll stay in your room. You shift to look out of the window after opening the curtains and thatâs when you see Joel about to get into the pool. Your jaw drops at his broad shoulders, the way he rolls them and stretches his strong arms. âShit.â You hiss, understanding why Tess was so pissed off at you becoming his wife. You wouldnât want to give that up either. Not that sheâs giving it up. You know Joel will still sleep with her even after you are married. With that thought, you head into the bathroom to get ready for a day of unpacking.
After Joel showers and dresses, he heads into the kitchen, seeing Ellie sitting at the counter but you are nowhere to be found. His housekeeper is cooking breakfast and he huffs. âMake enough for another tray.â He tells her, knowing that you will skip eating if he allows you too. He will bring you the food himself and make sure you eat.
You get dressed and ready and decide to stay in your room. Just because you have to marry him doesnât mean you need to be with him constantly. You sigh when thereâs a knock at the door and open it to find Joel there with a tray. âI brought you breakfast.â He says awkwardly and you step ahead so he can enter the room.Â
âThank you.â You murmur, watching him for a few moments.
Joel sets the tray down and corrects the small flower vase that had tipped over with a single flower on it. Wondering why the housekeeper had added it. When he looks up, he sees that you are watching him and drops his hands to rub on his pants. Almost nervous and hating how you make him feel that way. âIâm sorry for yesterday.â He grunts. âI should have- I know you just - that you regret that. Just donât worry about it. Iâm not going to touch you since you seem so worried about it.â He wants to punch himself for sounding like an idiot. âAnywayâŠeat.â
You donât say anything, you just nod and watch him as he shuffles towards the door. âJoel.â You murmur and he turns to look back at you, âI donât regret it. I regret how you reacted and thatâs it - I made a fool of myself.â You confess and he nods, not saying anything else as he exits your room and shuts the door behind him.
Joel strides down the hall and stops a few steps from the door and sighs. His shoulders dropping and his head hanging slightly. You didnât make a fool of yourself, and he wanted to kiss you. But he doesnât want you to kiss him, touch him, if you are doing it because you think it will keep you safe.
****Â
You exhale shakily, glancing at Ellie who is standing near you outside the courtroom doors. You are dressed in the only white summer dress you own and you are nervous to marry Joel. You phoned your sister this morning to make sure she was okay and you reminded yourself that you are doing this for them. No one else. You are doing this to keep them safe. You inhale deeply when the doors are opened and you walk fast down the âaisleâ to get to Joel. Thereâs no music, no flowers, nothing fancy. Just you and Joel alongside Ellie and Tommy as your witnesses.
The magistrate obviously knows you, his eyes widened when he had seen your name on the marriage license and Joel is worried. He might ask you something and you tell him that you are being forced into the marriage. He frowns as he waits and when the door opens, he turns to see you walk down the small path to him, looking lovely and perfect in a white dress that sways when you walk and he thinks you are beautiful.
You recognize Garrett who is officiating the wedding and you offer him a smile as you move to stand beside Joel. Your sister and your niece flash in your mind and you greet Garrett. âItâs good to see you.â You offer and his eyes dart between you and Joel. âI- I didnât know you were planning on getting married.â He says and you swallow, giving him a shaky smile, âlife is unexpected. It has been a whirlwind.â You confess and he nods, looking down at the paperwork.
Joel shifts slightly, taking your hand and squeezing it. Both in warning and because he wants to touch you. âYou look beautiful.â He tells you quietly, although he knows the magistrate can hear him. âIâm a lucky bastard.â
You know he is acting on Garrettâs behalf to make this seem real and you swallow harshly, âyou look good too.â You murmur, liking the way his hair is slicked back and the button down he is wearing. You turn back to Garrett who begins the service and you stare at Joel, trying to figure out what heâs thinking about.
Joel wants to rip that dress off your body and see if you are as soft and sweet as you look. If your thighs are pillowy when they squeeze his head as he feasts on you. If your ass jiggles as he slams into you again and again. If you would look as wrecked as he imagines as he fucks you. His jaw clenches, reminding himself that this is a wedding in name only, although there is a bridal set in his pocket that easily costs more than your last five years as a D.A. âYou ready?â
You nod, knowing you have no choice. You have to protect your family. You need to do this no matter how much you hate getting married to a man you donât love, a man you donât know. âYes. Iâm ready.â You whisper and Garrett starts the service. You repeat the vows, the words feeling heavy on your tongue, and you listen to Joel gruffly repeat the vows. You arenât expecting a ring so youâre surprised when he pulls the box out and hands it to Tommy after taking out the ring he slides onto your finger a moment later.
Joel repeated his vows, remembering another wedding a lifetime ago and he concentrates on getting the ring on your finger so he doesnât hurt you. The magistrate tells him that he can kiss his bride and Joel doesnât waste any time pulling you into his arms and bending you back while he kisses you with a passion that surprises even him.
You gasp into his mouth and your palm is on his chest, feeling his beating heart as he steadies you and you are breathless, lips tingling from the kiss. Garrett clears his throat and offers you his congratulations. âThank you.â You murmur, glancing back at Ellie who sticks her thumbs up to you. Tommy offers you a stiff nod and your hand shakes a little as you sign the marriage certificate.
Joel bends down to sign the certificate after you. âI want this filed as soon as possible.â He tells the magistrate with a small wink. âWant it legal and for her to be able to change her name.â As customary, he slides the man a large payment for his services, and turns towards you to pull you to his side. âIsnât that right, honey?â
You smile but it doesnât reach your eyes. âYes baby. Canât wait to be a Miller.â You lie, knowing this will end badly. You hope Joel will let you leave before you get too deep into this. Garrett nods, taking the envelope and pocketing it in his jacket. âYes sir. Iâll get it filed as soon as I leave here.â Joel shakes his hand and you bid Garrett goodbye, letting Joel escort you out of the room and through the courthouse.Â
âCongrats.â Ellie says with a grin, coming forward to hug you and you canât deny the teenager youâve already grown fond of.Â
âThank you.â You smile and Tommy approaches, leaning in to kiss your cheek, âwelcome to the family.â He gives you a pointed look and you clear your throat, âperhaps we can have dinner. Iâd like to meet your wife, Maria.â You say, wondering what sheâs like to be married to Tommy.
Joel grunts and wraps his arm around your waist. âNext week.â He tells Tommy, making it an order. âThis week, Iâm unavailable. We have to have a âhoneymoonâ, so youâre in charge.â He pins his younger brother with a cold stare. âDonât do anything stupid.â
Youâre surprised to hear that he wants a honeymoon. âBut I thought - we werenât going to - can I go home? I mean, we are married now. On paper. It doesnât mean that I can say anything to anyone legally. Can I go back to my life?â You ask Joel softly, his grip tightening on your waist.
âNo.â Joel shakes his head, hating how hopeful you sound. âA lot of people would try to hurt you to get to me.â He tells you. âYou stay at the house, safe and secure. But you can have your phone back. Go anywhere you want to go, as long as you have someone with you.â
You deflate but at least you can regain some of your freedom. âCan I go back to work?â You ask and Joel sighs, âyes but you cannot take the Senator's case.â He orders and you nod, excited to somewhat get back to your life. âFine. I can do that.â You promise, âbut you want a honeymoon first?â You ask and he nods.Â
âWe are married, Iâd like to know you a little better.â You werenât expecting that but you reach for his hand to hold it in yours, âokay. We can do that.â
Joel leads you out of the courthouse and towards the dark SUV that is waiting. He turns to Ellie and smirks at her. âRide back with Tommy.â He orders her, making her whine and roll her eyes as he opens the door for you.
You shiver at his tone and let him guide you into the SUV, the ring sitting heavy on your finger, and you dread to think about how much it cost. âYou didnât have to get such a beautiful ring, Joel. We arenât married for real.â You remind him after you settle in the swat.
âDoesnât matter.â Joel grunts. âYouâre my wife. One day, ten years, youâll have a ring that is appropriate for a woman who is standing beside me.â He explains. Itâs not about the statue, he could honestly give a shit less. However, he plans on letting you keep the ring, as a way to apologize for this mess, so you deserve something pretty.
You nod, knowing that he might be a smuggler by trade but to the rest of Boston society, heâs a wealthy man who has social standing, even if he doesnât want it or desires to attend the events. He would never be turned down if he wanted to go. You glance at him then at the ring. âThank you. Itâs beautiful.â You admire it, feeling the strange weight on your finger. Itâs unusual and you arenât sure how to feel but you place your hand on your lap and look out of the tinted window.
âAs far as the honeymoon,â Joel tells you, pulling out his phone. âI know you donât want to fuck me, and I donât expect you to, but if we donât have a couple of weeks where you and I are alone, people will question.â He explains. âWe can stay at the house, just not receive visitors and I will let Tommy handle the business. That way we can say we just spent the entire time in bed.â
You bite your lip, wanting to admit that you wouldnât mind fucking him. Crazy how 48 hours can change everything. His gruffness and his innate strength make your stomach twist with desire but you know he doesnât want you. He has Tess. That much was made obvious. âSure. I- i can take a couple of weeks off. I already told work Iâd be away. What aboutâŠIâm sure Tess will want to be in your bed so how are we going to handle people possibly seeing her leaving your room?â
âThe staff will be sent home.â Joel reveals. âAnd Tess is still pissed at me, so I might just be sleeping alone.â He had tried to have her come over, and sheâd refused. Making some snarky comment that he had ignored and she just decided to leave him hanging. Itâs been a few days and will be a few more until she decides to come back. He will just have to deal.
You feel a little relieved that the staff wonât be there to watch your every move and the fact that Tess wonât be around relaxes you even more. She clearly hates you for being with Joel, even if you arenât actually with him. âI can cook tonightâŠif you want. Since the housekeeper will have been sent home.â
âWhatever you want.â He isnât too concerned about it. âWe can order in if you donât want to cook or whatever.â He is actually looking forward to a couple of weeks to relax and not worry about things. Maybe he can swim every morning. âThink of it like an at home vacation.â
You turn to look at him again, âI donât see you and vacation going well together.â You tease and he snorts, âno. I- I havenât taken a vacation in so long.â He confesses and you lean a little closer, âthen letâs make this a vacation. Iâll cook tonight. I want to cook for my husband.â You say, wanting to find a middle ground if this is your reality until he decides to divorce you.Â
He nods, âwhatever you want darlinâ.â His nickname makes your heart pound and you lean back in your seat, watching Boston pass by as you exit the city.Â
****Â
You bite your lip as you mash the potatoes, the chicken rests after you roasted it, and you wonder if Joel will like the white wine you have chilling in the fridge.
In his study, Joel shuts down his computer and sighs softly. Heâs married. Again. The narrow golden band on his finger feels foreign and yet he remembers the first time he had one on his hand. It had been such a happy time for him, quickly turning to heartache and sorrow. Pushing back from his desk, he exits the office and follows the delicious smells towards the kitchen, wondering if you were enjoying cooking or if you were trying to stay on his good side.
You glance up when Joel comes into the kitchen, putting the final touches on the dinner as you set it down on the kitchen table. He has a formal dining room but you refuse to sit there miles apart at opposite ends of the table. âIt smells delicious.â He compliments you and you smile, âgood. Come sit. I - I hope you like white wine. I wasnât sure which one I should get and the cook left the chicken in the fridge so I- yeah.â You finish lamely when he doesnât interrupt you.
âWhite wine is good.â He doesnât care for wine most of the time, but you seem so nervous that he wonât pour himself a glass of bourbon like he usually would. âYou didnât have to do this.â He reminds you quietly. âAlthough Iâm eager to see if you decide to poison your husband on your wedding night.â He teases.
You chuckle, setting the gravy down and you look at him after you sit down. âWhat a story that would be for a Lifetime movie.â You tease and notice his glance at the wine. âYou donât like wine.â You state and want to hit your forehead, âlet me - what else do you want?â You ask, standing up from the table.
âIâll drink the wine.â He tells you but you shake your head, âwhat do you normally drink with dinner?â You ask, making him sigh. âI normally have a glass of bourbon with dinner.â He admits. âI like the burn of the whiskey better than the tartness of wine.â
You want to please him, as ridiculous as it sounds since he essentially blackmailed you into being his wife, yet you still want to win him over. Perhaps itâs the years of insecurity, wanting him to want you so you donât feel like a total failure at love and relationships. You see the bar over in the corner of the kitchen and you stand up, touching his shoulder as you walk over to grab a crystal glass and pour him a healthy measure. âHere you go.â You say as you set it down and sit back in your seat.
âYou didnât have to get that.â He insists, even as he takes the glass and immediately takes a sip. âBut thanks.â He motions towards the plate in front of him. âIt looks delicious.â Heâs already noticed that your plate is much smaller than his and he wants to call you on it, but he doesnât.
âThank you. I love cooking. I donât get to do it too often between work and living alone. I usually grab something on the way home. Itâs nice to have something homemade and this kitchen - itâs a dream. Every spice. Every utensil. Anything a cook could want or need.â You compliment him.
âItâs yours to use.â He promises you. âIf you enjoy cooking, indulge. Use this time to do whatever you wished you had time to do. I hope to spend a lot of time out by the pool.â He admits as he forks up a bite of the mashed potatoes and groans when they hit his tongue.
You shift slightly in your seat at the way he groans. The way his eyes flutter closed makes your chest swell with pride and you wonder when this started to feel real, like you really are married. You start to eat and imagine him swimming like you saw him earlier. Youâd love to join him but you doubt heâd want that, to see you like that. âI will. I have missed cooking a lot and the pool sounds like fun. You donât seem like a man who takes any time off.â
âI donât.â He cuts into his chicken and there is another groan at the roasted poultry. âI work long hours and have little time for pleasure.â He agrees after he swallows. âPerhaps this is what I needed. A couple of weeks lounging by the pool with my new wife. Tell me, do you sunbathe nude?â
You snort, unable to stop yourself and he stares at you. âOh youâre serious? Shit. I - really? I- I donât think anyone would want to see me sunbathe nude. I can barely get into a swimsuit without crippling anxiety.â You chuckle, trying to make it appear like a joke when itâs anything but for you.
âWhy?â Joel frowns as he looks up at you from cutting another piece of chicken. âYou have great looking tits from what I can see and your ass is nice and round.â He tells you. âI bet youâd make a dead manâs cock hard.â
You are shocked as he nonchalantly tells you what he thinks and your heart pounds, your stomach twists with pleasure. "You - you think that I - my ex...he dumped me because I gained too much weight. He tried to force me to the gym, tried to give me a raw vegetable diet like I was a goddamn rabbit. I- I just - it's been a while since anyone was interested in me."
âThen you were dating a boy, not a man.â He grunts, shaking his head. âThereâs not one inch of you that isnât sexy, darlinâ.â The slight Texas twang comes out when he tells you that and he points towards your plate. âSo donât you dare not finish your food because you think I will be repulsed.â
Your jaw drops slightly and you stare at him in surprise. His words have you wet, turned on by the twang and the way he essentially orders you to eat. Youâve never known a man like him. âThank you.â You whisper, a soft smile on your face as you pick up your knife and fork. You start to eat, watching Joel eat his own meal and you realize that thereâs more to him than the criminal killer you assumed he was when you were tied up in his garage.
The meal is finished in companionable silence and when heâs done, Joel drains the last of his bourbon. âThat was amazing.â He admits honestly. âI donât remember the last time I had a home cooked meal like that. Donât get me wrong, Kathleen is a good cook, but thereâs something about your cooking that justâŠ.adds to the flavor.â
You smile, âthatâs the love.â You tease, knowing you arenât even on a friendship level let alone anything else. âI made dessert too.â You hum, standing up and grabbing the empty plates. You set them on the side and walk over to the fridge to take out the small cake you had made while waiting for the chicken to cook. You slice it up and set the plate in front of Joel.
âCake?â His brows shoot up in surprise and he canât help but smile. âItâs been a long damn time since Iâve had cake.â He admits, reaching out and taking hold of your wrist. âStay right here and share this with me.â He orders you. âItâs our wedding cake after all.â
You are touched by his sentiment and you let him pull you onto his lap. âI didnât think of it as a wedding cake but - itâs vanilla and raspberry.â You tell him softly, watching as he picks up the fork and brings the cake to your mouth. You take the bite he offers, wrapping your lips around the fork as he feeds you for the second time since you arrived at his home.
Joel grunts, watching your mouth and your tongue when you swipe it over your lips and imagines you with your mouth wrapped around his cock. Something you wouldn't want, but it makes him twitch. He smirks at you. "How is your cake, sweetheart?" He asks curiously.
You hum, nodding, âitâs good. Even if I do say so myself.â You smirk and reach for the fork so you can cut off a bite and lift it to his mouth. âTry it.â You tell him softly and he leans in to wrap his lips around the cake.
The richness of the vanilla and the tart sweetness of the raspberry melts on his tongue and makes him close his eyes as he groans. It's a simple cake, made even better by its simplicity and he can't help but think that it is a lot like you. You are rich and sweet and complex in your simplicity. "Perfect."
You enjoy his reaction, feeling warm from his dark gaze when he opens his eyes. âGood. I'm glad you like it.â You shift to get him another forkful and you bring it to his lips, enjoying feeding him.
His hand slides down and he squeezes your hip, enjoying the generous flesh and the softness under the pretty white dress you are still wearing. It makes him think of pushing the plate off the table and setting you up on it and having you for dessert.
You lean closer, letting him take the fork from your hand as he cuts off a piece and brings it to your lips. âThank you.â You murmur after you swallow the bite, leaning in to kiss his scruffy cheek. He grunts and you lean back, âI donât want to do something stupid but I want to make this work.â You reveal, looking at him.
His dark eyes seem to look into your soul and he presses his lips together. "You don't know what it's like." He warns you. "I'm not gentle. I don't do gentle. I fuck. Hard. Until you can't walk and your cunt aches for days after I'm done with you." He sets the fork down. "You should go back to your room. Stay away from me so I don't hurt you."
You swallow harshly, your eyes focused on his and your chest heaves. âI- I-â You choke, unsure of what you want. Part of you wants him to wreck you. Another part of you wants to stay away so he doesnât hurt you. Heâs not soft, heâs made that clear time and time again. âIâll go.â You manage to choke out, shifting off of his lap and you glance back once before you scurry out of the room and away from the man you suddenly want more than anything else but you donât know if youâd be able to handle him .
****Â
The water is cool and the shade keeps everything at a pleasant temperature. Joelâs sunglasses protect his eyes and he is able to keep his eyes on you as you float on top of the water with a frozen drink in your hand and a smile on your face.
You canât believe how your life has changed within a week. Youâre married. To Joel Miller, Boston elite and a notorious yet - unknown to most - mafia boss. You had some anxiety coming out to the pool wearing your bikini but no one is here apart from Joel and you can feel his eyes on you even behind his sunglasses. The evenings since your wedding day, youâve cooked or ordered in and heâs talked to you, told you what his favorite movies are. Surprisingly itâs not The Godfather, and you have watched tv together like a real married couple. Itâs hard to believe how different he can be when he doesnât have to be the boss, the big brother, the father figure to Ellie who has eaten dinner with you a few times before sleeping over at her friendâs house. âWhat are you staring at?â You ask him playfully, knowing he thinks you donât notice his eyes on you.
Joelâs lips twist into an amused frown and he pulls his glasses down his nose to look over them. âIâm staring at my wifeâs tits.â He confesses with zero shame. Tess has come back around and heâs fucked her since heâs been married to you, but he still craves you. Reaching down and adjusting himself as he smirks at you.
You see his motion and chuckle, shaking your head as you take another sip of your drink. You want to believe his attraction to you but youâd seen Tess leaving yesterday morning and youâre not dumb. You know he is still fucking her. It makes your decision to not sleep with him the first night you were married validated. âAt least youâre honest.â You hum, shifting off of the floaty after you set your drink on the side and you dip under the water before appearing again. âIâm gonna get another drink, do you want anything?â You ask Joel.Â
âA beer would be nice.â He says and you nod, walking up the steps to exit the pool, water running down your body as you reach for your towel.
âI didnât know you were turning the pool into an aquarium, Joel.â Tess appears under the shade of the porch, a mocking expression on her face that has Joel immediately pissed off.Â
âWhat the fuck are you doing here?â He growls, seeing you scramble to cover your body when you had just been so confident as you waved your ass towards him when climbing out of the pool.
Tears sting in your eyes as you rush into the house but not before you hear Tess say âwanted to see if the fat bitch was still here or if you killed her.â You choke on a sob as you walk into the kitchen, dripping water on the floor but you donât care, knowing that Tess will be Joelâs number one. Youâre only married on paper and these past few days donât change anything for him. He wants her.
Joel growls and slides into the pool so he can wade angrily towards the steps. âThe fuck is wrong with you?â He demands, shaking his head. She laughs as he climbs the stairs and he grabs her arms and shakes her. âGo the fuck away.â He growls, furious. Heâs spent the last week with you and has grown to like you a lot. Not just physically, but he likes spending time with you. âGet the fuck out of here if you canât keep your bitchy thoughts to yourself.â
âYou know you donât actually want her. Itâs me whoâs in your bed, baby. Why- why wasnât it me? Why canât you ever say it back?â Tess asks, her eyes growing watery as she stares at the man she loves, has loved for so many years. âWhy canât you give yourself to me like I have to you, time and time again.â
Joel sighs, closing his eyes and he canât say the words. He cares about Tess, but he doesnât want to love her. He frowns and looks into her watery eyes. âYou knew the score when you hopped into my bed.â He reminds her. âItâs physical. If you donât like that, youâre free to walk away.â
Tess rears back as if Joel just slapped her. Hearing the words sheâs always known to be true but hoped they werenât is painful and she shakes her head. âWhatever. Go fuck the whale. See if I care. Iâll go call Jack.â She scoffs, mentioning one of Joelâs men who has always flirted with her. She steps back from him and walks back into the house, passing the kitchen and she storms out of the house. You sniff and grab Joelâs beer, composing yourself after you hear the garage door slam and you are surprised to see Joel standing in the doorway. âTess left before I could say goodbye.â You murmur, wanting to be the better person, even if you want to go to your room and sob at her insults.
âYeah.â Joel frowns and steps closer to you, taking the beer and setting it down on the counter to grasp your chin, making you meet his eyes. âSheâs jealous.â He tells you. âDonât listen to her.â He knows you will take her insults to heart and he wishes you wouldnât.
You scoff, âjealous of me? Why would she be jealous of me? I- I saw her the other morning leaving your room. I know you are fucking her and itâs none of my business but I thought- I thought we were getting a little closer. Even if we arenât married for real, Iâd at least like to be friends. I know you donât want me like that. I know I donât - I know you donât want me.â You finish with a shaky inhale.
Joel chuckles, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. âSheâs jealous because I do want you.â He reveals. âBecause Iâve had to fuck her since you havenât wanted me to touch you.â He takes your hand and brings it down to his crotch, letting you feel his hard cock. âDonât tell me that I donât want you when this is how I stay. Iâve been hard since you walked out in that fucking bikini.â
Your eyes widen when you feel how hard he is and your eyes meet his, seeing the desire in his dark gaze. Fuck, he wants you. You swallow harshly and remove your hand from his crotch. He moves to step back, thinking you donât like that heâs hard but you reach up to remove the towel you have wrapped around your body. âI want you to take me to my room. I want you to fuck me. I want you to wreck me and leave me aching for days.â You tell him, knowing that you need this, you need to feel all of him. Your hand finds his crotch again, squeezing him through his wet swimming trunks.
Growling and twitching against your hand, he grabs your wrist and drags you closer to him. âOne last chance to back out.â He warns you, his lips almost brushing yours.Â
You whimper and shake your head. âI want you, Joel.â You tell him and he groans, pressing his lips to yours. Your hands slide up his damp chest, wrapping around his neck to press yourself against him as his tongue slides into your mouth. Itâs rough and messy but it has more than your bikini dripping wet. His hands slide down to grab your ass, squeezing the supple flesh and you moan into his mouth.
Joel presses you into the counter. The beer is forgotten, swimming forgotten. All that he cares about is touching you. One hand slides under your bottoms to squeeze your bare ass and grip it roughly, while his other hand moves to tear your top off your body, eager to see your tits.
His obvious hunger for your body makes you feel like youâre on fire and he tosses the wet bikini top to the floor. It hits the tile with a plop and his hands are cupping your tits after he pulls back to look at them. âJoel.â You gasp when he pinches your nipples. Thereâs no tender touches, heâs all in and heâs rough like he warned you.
âFucking great.â He moans, leaning down and biting the top of one tit before sucking harshly on the skin. Determined to lean bruises under your skin to remember him by. âI knew they were great tits.â He moves down to pull your nipple into his mouth and bites down on it harshly before soothing it with his tongue.
âBaby.â You whine, tangling your fingers in his wet hair. âI - oh God.â No one has ever treated you like this, so roughly, but you fucking love it. His hands are squeezing your tits, tilting them so he can wrap his lips around your nipple, alternating one then the other until they are hard and sore under his touch. âOh God. I need - take me upstairs.â
âYeah?â Joel confirms it once more, smirking as he pulls off your tit with a wet pop. âYou need me to fuck you, sweetheart? Destroy your little pussy until you canât walk? Then maybe youâll believe that youâre sexy.â He lets go of your breasts and brings his hand down harshly on your ass, making it jiggle when he slaps it. âI want you naked the second we get in that room. And I want you to spread out on the bed so I can devour your pussy.â
Your body feels like it's on fire and yet you feel like you could melt into a puddle at his words. That twang comes out and sends your heart pounding. "Fuck. I - Joel - oh God. Yes." You pant, unused to such dirty words. Your previous partners were tame and didn't smack your ass or treat you like this. You step away from him on shaky legs, needing a second to catch your breath and you turn to look back at him, channeling a more confident version of yourself. "Come on then, Miller. I want you to destroy me." You order, walking through the kitchen to the second set of stairs that lead to the bedrooms above.
Watching your ass shake in front of his face makes him reach out and slap it again. Grunting as his cock twitches and he canât wait to have you on your knees while heâs pounding into you. He knows youâve probably never had someone fuck you roughly, but he feels like you could take it. He hustles up the last few stairs and reaches out, grabbing you to pull you back so he can grind his cock against your ass, throbbing hotly. âI canât wait to see how well you take me.â He growls in your ear.
You shiver, feeling like heâs hunting you down and you love it. To feel so desired. Itâs more than youâve had before. You force yourself to continue the last few steps to your assigned suite and his hands are on your waist as you open the door. He gropes your ass and you bring his hand to your bikini bottoms. âTake them off.â You order, wanting him to see all over you despite your stomach twisting with nerves that he might not like what he sees.
The strings seem to dissolve between his fingers and he flings the fabric away from your body. One hand grabs the extra skin around your stomach, groaning as he sinks his other hand between your thick thighs and pushes his fingers between the curls covering your cunt. âFuck, youâre so hot, so wet.â He grunts, sliding a finger through your slit and back until heâs pushing a thick finger inside you.
You gasp, your hands grabbing onto his shoulders as he starts to finger fuck you. Quickly adding a second finger and you whimper, leaning your weight against him. âOh God.â You pant and he shifts to walk you back towards the bed. You willingly lay down and groan when his fingers slip out of you. You close your legs, suddenly self conscious to be on display for him like this.
âOpen them.â Joelâs voice is rough and he is impatiently pushing his wet swimming trunks down. His hard cock springing free and bouncing as he kicks them away. âI want to see your cunt, every inch of you.â
Your eyes widen at the sight of his hard cock, thick and leaking pre-cum and you are shocked at how turned on he is. His cock throbbing and an angry red. You swallow harshly, spreading your legs to show him every inch of you. Your fingers tangle in the sheets as your heart thumps.
âFuck.â Your cunt glistens with arousal and he canât help but twitch, making his cock bounce again. Kneeling down on the bed, he spreads your legs wider and pushes the two fingers back inside you when he lowers his head to bury his face in your folds.
âOh shit!â You yelp when he sucks on your clit. You never imagined Joel would be a man willing to give oral and you are pleasantly surprised. His fingers curl inside of you on each pump and you moan, unable to stop yourself from reaching down to tangle your fingers in his salt and pepper locks. You bite your lip, trying to keep quiet and soon his free hand is gripping your jaw, his tongue leaving your clit throbbing and slick with his saliva. âWhy are you biting your lip?â His rough voice demands and you lick your lips.Â
âMy - Iâve been told Iâm too loud. I- he said it was like a banshee.â You confess, knowing your exes have done a number on you.
Joel turns his head and he bites your thigh until you yelp out in surprise. âEvery goddamn sound belongs to me.â He growls, his dark eyes fixed on yours. âI will hear them.â This time, he spits on your pussy, watching it slide down through your folds and the dives back in with the vigor of a man starved.
You cry out, cunt gushing at the way he spits on your flesh like he owns you and in a way he does. "Joel!" You squeal when he sucks on your clit, his fingers pumping even faster and you can hear the squelch as your pussy weeps for him. "Oh God. Oh God." You pant, getting closer and closer.
Joel flicks his tongue, sucking his saliva back into his mouth and groaning when you roll your hips down onto his face. He loves how soft you are, how tangy and sweet you are on his tongue. His fingers curl and press deep, stretching you out for his cock.
"Fuck, baby." You pant, chest heaving and you reach up to squeeze your own tits, shifting onto your elbows so you can watch him. Seeing that dark gaze, knowing that his fingers - ones that are capable and have killed - are curled inside of you, making you feel only pleasure...it all sends you over the edge. You cry out and clamp down on his digits, your pussy gushing as you cum fast and hard on his face.
Joel groans as you come apart for him, his tongue slowly working you through it as the pressure around his head is perfect. He throbs against the bedsheets and watches you in rapture.
You slump back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling as your chest heaves and you absorb the pleasure racing through you. You haven't felt like this before. You close your eyes and feel Joel shift after withdrawing his fingers. His wet fingers caress your hip and you open your eyes to look up at him. You offer him a lazy smile and he chuckles, "it ain't over yet, darlin'." You nod, shifting to sit up and you reach out to wrap your fingers around his cock.
Hissing at the pressure, Joel resists the urge to rock his hips forward. Letting you explore his cock since he had just done what he wanted with your body. âFuck.â He groans when you squeeze him. âGive me a word.â He demands, making you frown, âwhat?âÂ
âA word, a fucking safe word.â He demands. âIn case itâs too much.â
You haven't dealt with this before but you've read about it in those smutty books you'd stay up at night reading. You pause your movements as you consider the safe word. "Apple." You tell him, glancing over at the painting on the wall of the fruit bowl. "Apple." You repeat, looking back at him and resuming your grip on his cock.
âApple.â He nods once, knocking your hand away from his cock and lunging over you. Your legs are hooked under his arms as he presses into you and folds them back. His hand guides his cock towards your wet entrance and his tongue slides into your mouth as he pushes forward and fills you in one harsh thrust.
You gasp around his tongue, his cock pushing deep and hard enough to take your breath away and you can't believe how thick he feels inside of you. Your hands come up to grip his shoulders, covered in healed scars, and you moan into his mouth when you adjust and he starts at a quick, but harsh pace.
âShit, shit, darlinâ.â He growls as he fucks into you with strokes that are meant to punish just as much as pleasure. Your soft body cradles him and absorbs the pressure with a beautiful jiggle. âKnew you could take me, fuck that pussy is tight.â He huffs. âLike a vice, god, you feel good.â He groans.
"Y- you too." You whimper, closing your eyes as you let him fuck you hard and fast. You feel like you're on fire with pleasure and it's only the beginning. "Pu-pussy is yours." You murmur in your haze of lust. His ring on your finger, his cock inside of you, you feel like you belong to him and for the first time since you arrived, it feels right.
Joel growls, your words just making him rock his hips faster. Wanting to pull more words from you. Wanting to hear what all you will give him as his cock shreds up inside you. âMine.â He agrees. âMy pussy, my soft, curvy girl.â He hisses, closing his eyes and gritting his teeth to keep from blowing his load at how sexy and fucked out you look below him as you hang on and take everything he gives you.
Your mouth hangs open, moans escaping your lips without any filter as he thrusts into you hard enough to push your body further up the bed. You reach for his hand, "Joel. I want - I need you to - to choke me. My ex - never wanted- I want you to." Joel stops thrusting, so shocked at your request. You bring his hand to your throat, "I don't want you to just grab my throat. I want to feel you fucking me, I want to feel my own heartbeat. I need you to own me."
A shudder rolls through him, his cock twitching deep inside you as his fingers wrap around your throat. He had never expected you to say something like this and he is eager to see how you react. âFilthy little slut.â He coos mockingly, tightening his grip until you gasp and then slowly pulling his hips back. âCouldnât get what you need from your loser ex?â He smirks darkly. âIâll give you what you need.â He promises.
Your eyes roll into the back of your head as he fucks you hard, his hips slamming against your ass as he bends you over even more and his grip tightens on your throat to make spots flash in your eyes. "Fuuuu-" You can't even talk, only groan breathlessly as he pushes against the back wall of your cunt. Tears push out of your eyes and your cunt squelches as you get closer. Your eyes meet his, a delicious smirk of satisfaction on his face, and he leans in to press his forehead against yours. "Cum for me baby." He orders and you can't hold back or deny him. You choke as you cum, unable to catch your breath as your orgasm rips through you, destroying you and gripping Joel's cock like you never want him to leave your body.
Your orgasm is breathtaking. Making him groan and his eyes roll back at how tight you clench around him as you soak him in your juices. Your name leaving his lips as he has to increase the pressure to fuck you through your orgasm. âShit, there you go.â He pants. âFuck thatâs pretty, so wet. Thatâs it baby.â He knows heâs not going to last long, so he pulls back, pulling out of you completely.
He lets go of your throat and you struggle to catch your breath, your body shaking in the aftermath of your orgasm. âHands and knees.â He orders and you nod, struggling to shift from your back but you manage it. Kneeling on your hands and knees for your husband. Your cunt dripping as you display yourself for his hungry gaze.
âFuck, baby.â His hand slaps your ass once, twice before he is shuffling forward to sink back into you. Watching as his cock pushes deep, he holds your ass and pulls your cheeks apart to watch your other hole flutter. âGonna fuck your ass one day too.â He grunts before he starts moving again.
You moan, falling forward onto your elbows as he resumes his harsh pace. "Fuck. Joel yes. I'm yours." You promise, lost in the lust and the way he's making you feel. "It's yours. Whatever you want." You promise as he presses his thumb against the puckered hole.
âYeah?â He grunts, slamming his hips against your ass and watching your body shake from the force. âLet me have what I want? Anytime I want?â He demands.Â
âYes, yes, anything you want.â You pant out quietly, making him chuckle. He sinks the tip of his thumb into your ass and reaches down to grip your neck roughly as he increases his pace.
"Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck." You pant, his fingers digging into your throat from his grip and you want to look back and see him but you can't when his grip is so tight. "Yes! Yours. Yours." You ramble breathily as he slams into you again and again.
Thereâs a voice in the back of his mind telling him that he shouldnât be so possessive over you. That it should just be an itch to scratch. He ignores it as he pulls his thumb out of your ass and slides his hand underneath you to rub your clit. âCum for me.â He orders. âCum for me baby, wanna feel it.â
You nearly collapse forward but the way he is gripping your throat keeps you upright and you grind back onto him when his fingers rub your clit. "Fuck baby. I'm gonna - again. Oh God. Fuck!" You squeal, clamping down on his cock again. "Please cum. Cum for me." You beg, wanting to hear him, wanting him to have pleasure too.
He grunts, desperately close to cumming but he hadnât asked you about birth control. He doesnât know if you are taking it and he canât risk getting you pregnant. Not when this is a temporary marriage. He manages another four or five thrusts before he is pulling out, letting go of your neck to pump his cock. âFuck, fuck, fuck baby.â He moans, hot spurts of his seed painting your ass as he gasps for breath.
You feel a little disappointed that he didnât cum inside of you but you know itâs likely for the best considering youâre only married on paper. You glance back at him as he squeezes his cock and you canât help but shift around, taking his spent cock into your mouth to taste his length covered with your juices and the saltiness of his seed. Your eyes meet his as his chest heaves and you watch him as you suck him clean.
âShiiiiiiit.â Joel hisses, his spent cock twitching and he loves how dirty you look with his cock in your mouth. âNext time, Iâll fuck your throat.â He pants. âFuck, how was it, darlinâ?â He asks, pulling his hips back and waiting for your answer.
You look up at him before you shift back onto your haunches. âIt was - Iâve never been fucked like that before.â You admit, biting your lip as your eyes focus on him. âDid you- did you enjoy it?â
âI did.â His hand caresses your hip and he can see how self conscious you are. âLet me get a rag and clean you up.â He smirks. âBet you couldnât walk to the bathroom right now anyway.â
You shake your head, limbs feeling like jello and you shift onto your stomach as you watch him walk into the en suite bathroom. You close your eyes, feeling exhausted, and you flinch slightly at the feel of the cold rag on your skin as he cleans you up. âI have an IUD by the way. IfâŠif you want to cum inside of me next time.â
âShit.â Joel shakes his head. âIf I had known thatâŠ..â he wouldnât have pulled out at all. He finishes wiping you clean and caresses your ass before he slaps it. âYou wouldnât mind me cumming inside you?â He asks, wanting to make sure.
You shake your head, âI wouldnât mind butâŠare you still going to sleep with Tess?â You ask. Nervous that heâs going to continue sleeping with her and coming to your bed at the same time. The woman who has insulted you at every turn, it makes you sad and angry that she says those things and you hope he doesnât want to continue fucking her.
His eyes go flat, dark and angry as he thinks about what Tess had said. âNo.â He huffs, shaking his head. âThat wonât be happening.â He made up his mind, heâs married. Heâs decided heâs going to be a faithful husband while heâs married to you.
You are relieved, relaxing even more into the mattress and you watch him as he shifts to sit down on the bed beside you. His entire form is awkward now and you find it a little endearing. âGood. I- I want to make the best of this while we are married. I want to get to know you.â You tell him, knowing you have to compromise if youâre here for the foreseeable until he gets tired of you. Maybe he will kill you or maybe he will let you go. You hope heâd just let you go.
Leaning back against the pillows, Joel searches for a compliment. âYou were really wet.â He tells you lamely. âTight.â He grunts, wondering if he can get more ridiculous. âDo you like to cuddle after sex or sleep?â He asks.
You can tell heâs not used to aftercare or pillow talk so you take pity on him and shuffle off of the bed, legs wobbling slightly. âI like to shower. Um, you can stay if you want but Iâm sure youâve got things to do.â You say, biting your lip and you internally cringe at how awkward it is now that the lust has been satiated.
It feels like he is being dismissed and Joel frowns, shuffling off the bed. "Sure." He nods. "Enjoy your shower." He will clean up the pool area and order dinner. "Don't worry about cooking tonight. I will order us some dinner. How does Chinese sound?'
You turn back to look at him, âsure. That sounds good. I like anything so order a selection, babe.â You say and step into the bathroom, closing the door behind you. You turn on the shower and sit down on the toilet, burying your face in your hands. Things just got a lot more complicated and youâre not sure how to handle it. You know youâre going to end up getting hurt in the end.
****Â
Joel's snarl is curling his lip back and the only thing keeping the headboard from beating against the wall is the fact that your hands are wrapped around the posts, his own hands covering yours as he fucks you. "Fuck, fuck, you've got to cum." He pauses mid thrust to push up onto his knees a bit more, wanting to push deeper into you. Flat on your stomach while he fuck you into the mattress, your moans are hampered by the pillow and he lets go of one hand so he can rip it out from under you and toss it down on the ground.
âOh God, Joel. I- fuck. Iâm gonna - youâre gonna make me - oh shit! Shit!â You squeal as you turn your head so he can hear you, his cock pushing deep and you can barely breathe when your orgasm slams into you. Itâs devastating and you love it. Fuck, you love it. âCu- cum. Please. Want - want to feel it.â You beg but he denies you, working you through your orgasm and pushing you onto another one that has your body shaking from overstimulation.
He's learned that despite you wanting him to cum right after you do, you love having multiple orgasms. Your past lovers obviously not doing a very good job when they fucked you, Joel leaves you unable to use that vibrator that you keep in your bedside drawer. Unless you count the time he had fucked you while pressing it to your clit. "You've gotta give me another one, baby." He smirks, biting down on your shoulder.
You shake your head, âI canât. Itâs too much.â You choke and he bites down on your skin again.Â
âYou can. One more. One more than Iâll fill this tight little cunt up.â He promises and you whine, fingers gripping the headboard even more. He thrusts a little harder, his hips smacking against your ass and you can hardly catch your breath.Â
âShit. Itâs - oh God. Too much. So good. Baby. Baby. Iâm gonna cum again.â You warn him, clenching your eyes shut as your toes curl.
He grits his teeth and continues to hammer into you, wanting to feel you cum. Itâs becoming an addiction. Watching you, feeling you, hearing you come apart for him. Thereâs an honesty you canât fake when you cum for him. The first gush of your juices makes his hips stutter and he groans. âFuck, Iâm gonna fill this little pussy up.â He vows. âWant you to drip me while you shake your ass all over my kitchen.â
His words push you even further and you clamp down on his cock, soaking him with a cry of his name. âFuck yes baby. Oh fuck.â You croak, voice broken from the moans heâs pulled from you tonight. âPlease. Please. Pleaseeee.â You beg as you ride your orgasm, desperate to feel him spill inside of you.
Letting go of the bed, his arms push underneath you to hold you tight. Wrapping his legs around yours as he rocks into you over and over again until he is burying his cock deep. Groaning your name into your ear as he spills rope after rope of his hot seed into your womb.
You close your eyes, enjoying the feel of him on top of you and you could easily spend the rest of your life like this. That thought would terrify you if you werenât drunk with pleasure. You sigh in bliss and he kisses along your neck once heâs still, his cock still twitching inside of you. âSo good, baby.â You murmur, reaching back to slide your fingers through his hair.
He knows heâs heavy, pinning you down but you donât complain and he doesnât want to move. âFuck.â He grunts, burying his face in your neck and trying to catch his breath. âCould sleep right here.â He murmurs, kissing your pulse and feeling all the stress and pain fade away.
You smile into the sheets, âme too.â You havenât shared a bed with him yet, just sex before you both retreat to your own quarters and you wish he would cuddle you or something. âDo you maybeâŠ.maybe youâd like to stay tonight? In the same bed?â You ask tentatively, worried that heâs going to reject you.
Lifting his head, Joelâs brows shoot up. âYeah, uh, are you sure?â He asks. Heâs always come to your room, youâve never been in his, but he wants to stay. âI donât want you to offer if youâd rather be alone.â
âNo. No. I want you to stay.â You promise, nodding your head against the sheets and you shift onto your side so you can look at him after he pulls out of you. âI want you to stay. Maybe we can watch a movie?â You suggest, reaching out to brush his hair back.
Joel secretly likes watching movies and he nods. âThat will be good. Do you want to shower first, or need some water?â He knows you want a little bit of tenderness after sex.
You swallow, âwater would be good, babe.â You offer him a smile, âand a shower.â You decide, wanting to feel clean after heâs wrecked your body again. âYou wanna shower with me first?â You ask, knowing he isnât one for that kind of intimacy but you always attempt to reach out to him, to make this marriage work in more ways than sex.
âThat will work.â Joel nods and moves to climb out of the bed. âIâll start the water, let it warm up.â He pauses and then leans in for a kiss before he stands and strides towards your en-suite. Itâs getting harder to not soften towards you, especially since you are so sweet.
You are surprised that he wants to shower with you when he usually goes off to clean himself up and check on the business with Tommy. You watch his ass as he walks into your bathroom and you bite your lip, loving how hot he is. Even more so he doesnât think he is. He thinks heâs too old but you love the salt and pepper. He grabs you a water and you are soon in the shower together, grabbing the body wash to clean each other off.
âYour body wash smells flowery.â Joel makes a face on principle, but he squirts it on a loofa and suds it up to wash your body. âThatâs why you always smell so good.â He grunts to himself. âLove your smell, especially your wet pussy.â
You smile, pleased that he likes how you smell. Itâs ridiculous how much you like hearing him compliment you. Heâs such a gruff, cold man and any way you can crack his icy exterior has your heart melting for him. âLove how you smell too. Smoky and like whiskey. For now though, youâre gonna smell like roses.â You tease, sliding your hands along his chest.
He snorts and shakes his head. âJust means I need to fuck you again before we go to sleep.â He smirks and winks at you. Thereâs not been a day that has passed since that first day that heâs not fucked you at least twice. Most of the time, itâs hours between sessions since heâs no longer a teenager, but heâs been rising to the occasion.
You chuckle, âitâs a good thing I have the IUD otherwise you wouldâve knocked me up by now and we both know that would be a disaster.â You snort and run your fingers through his wet hair, massaging his head. âI like this.â You admit softly, âwhat this has become.â
âI do too.â Joel admits, his hands squeezing your waist. Youâve grown more comfortable and playful as the days have gone on and his lust for you continues to grow. It also helps that heâs already seen you tell the police detective that you couldnât help him when he came knocking about the murder. He doesnât voice the idea that you could stay on, aware that you miss being a lawyer, a district attorney. He couldnât ask you to give that up, or continuously look the other way.
Your heart flutters at his confession and you lean up to kiss his jaw. You have been keeping track of the case at the district attorneyâs office and have seen that there is no evidence to link the murder back to Millerâs, so you are confident that the case will dropped soon and when the case is dropped, you can probably ask Joel if you can return to your previous life, but you find yourself reluctant to do so when deep down you are in love with the man who has become your husband. You rinse off after five minutes and Joel is quick to get you a towel grabbing one for himself to wrap around his waist. âYou get dressed, baby. Iâll go get us some water and snacks. We can watch a movie. Pick whatever you want, just as long as it ainât a damn romcom.âÂ
You snort and nod, âsure thing babe.â You get dressed in your sweats and soon enough, you are cold around Joel watching a movie until you fall asleep on his chest.
Joel strokes your back gently as you sleep, smirking at the jokes in the movie. He likes this, feeling more relaxed than he has in a long time. His informant tells him that the case is stalled and will soon be dormant. Now he doesnât want to give you up. Heâs gotten used to you puttering in the kitchen and you spend a lot of time in his study, reading if he needs to do something.
****Â
You decide to wake up early. Joel doesnât spend the night in your bed even after two months of marriage but you donât let it bother you too much, knowing he has his reasons and heâs opened up to you far more than you ever thought possible. You sneak out of your bedroom across the hall from Joelâs and thatâs when you see Tess. Sneaking out of Joelâs room, her hair all over the place and her clothes wrinkled. Your heart breaks and her smirk makes you feel sick. He slept with her. You arenât enough for him. He doesnât want you. You swallow harshly, not wanting her to see how affected you are. âMorning Tess.â You choke out and she hums, âmorning.â She grins and makes her way downstairs, leaving you speechless in the hallway.
Joel wakes up and for a moment is confused when he sees the spot next to him is rumpled like someone slept there. Then he remembers. You had already gone to bed, Joel staying late to talk to Tommy about business and Tess had shown up. She had been wasted and practically sobbing about you and Joel abandoning her, trying to kiss him again and again until he finally convinced her that he wasnât going to touch her. She had begged for just one more night sleeping beside him and he had relented, knowing she was in no shape to go home. Tucking her in and making sure she didnât throw up until about four this morning before he had finally fallen asleep.
You pour your coffee with tears stinging in your eyes and you allow yourself the breakfast you make to be your time to be upset about Joel sleeping with Tess again. After you finish breakfast, you decide you arenât going to sit around and wait for him. He has let you go eventually if he wants to be with Tess. You make your way to your room, locking the door, and you call your friend, deciding to make plans for tonight. No longer will you sit around pining for your husband that will never be capable of loving you. Youâre going out tonight despite Joelâs rules. Your sister and niece have gone to Florida for the weekend so you know Joel hasnât had his men follow them. Joel knocks on your door but you tell him youâre working and he leaves you alone. You donât leave your room for lunch and around eight at night you get ready and decide to drive into the city to meet your friend. Joel will still be busy with his own work since heâs gone back to running the family business so you know he wonât miss your presence.
Thereâs something wrong with today and Joel is in a pisser of a mood. Heâs not seen you all day and he hates it. Heâs gotten used to seeing your pretty face, sharing a smile or hearing you tell him a joke in hopes to see him smile. Ellie slunks into his office around nine, pouting and dropping into a chair. âWhat the fuckâs wrong with you?â He demands.
Ellie says your name and Joel frowns, âwhat about her?âÂ
Ellie scoffs, crossing her arms, âsheâs gone into the city and I asked to go but she said she was going to some club with her friend. I was too young to go.â Ellie pouts and huffs, rolling her eyes, âI hate being a kid. I canât do shit.â
âWhat do you mean she went into the city?â Joel drops the paper he was reading and sits up in his chair, a scowl on his face. âWhat fucking club, sheâs in her room.â He swears Ellie likes busting his balls and making him sweat. âDonât start that bullshit lying again.
Ellie shakes her head, âIâm not fucking lying. Sheâs gone out. Said something about the place Tommy and her met. I donât know, man. Thatâs what she said and she looks fucking fancy. Dressed up and shit.â Ellie snorts, knowing Joel will be pissed with you leaving the house. Joel growls, realizing sheâs telling the truth and she holds her hands up, âdonât shoot me. Iâm the messenger.â Ellie says and Joel pushes back from his desk.Â
****Â
You sway to the music, feeling like you are free for the first time in nearly three months. You are excited to enjoy yourself and let loose, especially after seeing Tess this morning. Your heart is broken, knowing she would always be Joelâs number one despite him sending her away and you try to lose yourself in the music and the drink, trying to drown your stupid feelings.
âCome on! Come on!â He hisses, slamming the wheel of his car as he curses the car in front of him. He doesnât know why you decided to leave the house without telling him, especially because he wouldnât have let you go alone. If you needed a night out, he would have taken you. But not back to the fuckin place you had witnessed a goddamn murder. He pulls up outside the club, screeching to a halt and jumping out of the car to storm through the security and into the club to find you.
You are swaying your hips when you feel hands squeeze your flesh. You gasp, turning your head and seeing a man pushing up against you and you shake your head, trying to step away from him but his fingers dig deeper into your skin. Before you can react, heâs being shoved away from you and your eyes widen when you see Joel grab his collar, his teeth bared as he growls at the man for touching you and not letting you go. The music is loud and you canât hear what he says as his hand comes back and you grab onto his arm. âJoel. Stop. Not here. Not here.â
He almost flings you off and punches him anyway, but your eyes are wide and frightened. âDonât ever fuckinâ touch my wife again.â He spits, shoving the asshole away from him. The man nods and quickly disappears into the crowd. Joel turns towards you and his scowl is fierce. âWhat the fuck are you doing here? You didnât tell me? What are you thinking?â He shouts.
You scoff, âI thought youâd be with Tess. Why did you follow me here? I wanted one fucking night without being trapped in your goddamn house!â You shout back, the music blaring around you.
âTess?â He frowns even harder, hurt that you donât want to be around him. âWhat the fuck are you talking about? What does Tess have to do with you sneaking out? You wanted to go out? I could have brought you to a better club.â
You shake your head, pushing his chest, âyou fucked her last night. Donât lie to me. I saw her leaving your room this morning. She fucking smirked at me.â You shout at him, shaking your head and turning it to hide the tears welling in your eyes.
His eyes widen, realizing that you must have seen Tess leaving this morning. You get two steps away from him before heâs chasing after you, grabbing your arm and turning you around. âI didnât fuck her!â He shouts back over the music. âI havenât fucked-â he shakes his head and lets go of your arm. âNever mind, you wonât believe me anyway.â
You swallow harshly, âI- I need some air.â You tell him, pushing your way through the gyrating crowd, your clutch in your hand and you inhale deeply once youâre outside in the cool air. Joel isnât too far behind you and you wipe your eyes, looking over at your husband. âI donât know why you followed me here tonight.â You scoff at Joel who shakes his head.Â
âI have enemies, baby. If one of them had followed youâŠgot to youâŠâ He trails off and you chuckle humorlessly, âwell, they wouldâve done you a favor. Gotten rid of me. Saved you the job.â
âIâm not getting rid of you.â He slaps his hands against his thighs and wonders why you are being so fucking difficult. âDonât fucking talk like that.â He growls, furious at the thought of you being hurt because of him.
âWhy?â You hiss, turning back towards him, âyou donât love me like I love you. You donât want me. You- you want Tess. You want someone skinnier, prettier. You want someone you can show off. I havenât met anyone from your family or friends. I havenât even met Tommyâs wife. You donât want them knowing you married the fat girl. I know you only married me so Iâd keep my mouth shut but the case is closed. The DA office released the news this afternoon. No leads. Cold case. Itâs done. So just divorce me so I can go back to my life because you donât love me. God, Iâm such an idiot. I fell in love with you and Iâm - please. Just let me go.â You beg, unable to take his back and forth.
Joel frowns and shakes his head. âWhat the fuck are you talking about?â He demands. âI kept you from meeting everyone because you donât want to stay with me!â He shoves a hand through his hair. âYou canât - every time we are together you fucking tell me how you canât wait to go back to your life. Iâm a fucking criminal! You canât be a fucking district attorney married to a criminal!â
You choke on a sob, hating how complicated your life has become. For years, youâve wanted to find someone, fall in love, get married. Itâs happened but in the most confusing way possible. âI quit. I quit today. I canât be a DA after watching what Tommy did. Itâs not - itâs not moral so I quit my job. I tell you I canât wait to get back to my life because thatâs what I thought you wanted. To get rid of me when the case was closed by the DA and the police. I miss my old life but not for the reason you think. I miss having my freedom but most of all, I miss not being in love with you. Not feeling so much goddamn pain because you wonât ever feel the same.â
He stares at you for a moment, nearly panting, heâs breathing so hard. âI- you quit?â He whispers, shaking his head. âYou quit the D.A.âs office?â You nod and he grabs you again and pulls you closer. âYouâre never fuckinâ leaving.â He rasps out. âNever. I didnât fuck Tess. I couldnât. Not when-â he swallows. âNot when I love you.â
Your eyes widen as he pulls you into his chest and you shouldnât but you believe him. You believe he didnât fuck her. âI- I love you. I donât want to leave you. I want to stay with you.â You promise, sliding your hand up his chest until you can tangle your fingers in his hair. âI love you, Joel.â You murmur, âI love you.â
âI love you, baby.â He promises roughly. Nudging his nose against yours. âYouâre mine. You told me you were mine and Iâm keeping you.â He growls, pressing his lips to yours and slides his tongue into your mouth possessively.
You moan into his mouth, feeling him push you back into the wall of the club and passersby stare but you donât care. Your heart pounding in your chest as your husband kisses you. He pulls back after a moment and your breath mingles, âtake me home, Miller.â You order, wanting him to take you home and to his bed. Joel nods, summoning the valet to get his car and youâre soon on your way back to his estate. You text your friend, apologizing and she says she doesnât mind, sheâs found a guy to occupy her and you tell her to be safe. Joel squeezes your hand as he drives and you frown, shifting to look at him. âHow did you know where I was?â You ask and he tells you about Ellie. âOf course.â You chuckle softly, knowing the teenager is nothing if not a talker.Â
âShe loves you, you know? Wanted to tell me because she wants you to be safe.â He says and you nod, âI love her. Sheâs funny and she makes you smile with her silly puns. How could I not love her?â You ask him.
Joel nods, sighing softly. âSheâs not had it easy. Hell, Iâve not had it easy, but sheâs a good kid. A pain in my ass, but a good kid. Sheâs - well, sheâs the entire reason I decided to marry you.â He reveals.
Your eyebrows raise, âshe was?â You ask, surprised by the news and you wonder what Ellie couldâve said to have made him decide to marry you instead of kill you.
âYeah.â Joel nods and looks back at the road. âSheâs never had a mother or a mother-like figure. Tess sure as shit isnât one. Not since she lost her husband and son ten years ago.â He tells you. âYou- your worry was for your sister, your niece. You were terrified of marrying me but you would do it to protect them. I wanted Ellie to be around a woman like that, like you.â He tells you softly. âShe reminds me of Sarah.â
You have heard the name before but havenât asked him. You know from Ellie that Joel was married before, years ago, but there was never a good time to ask him about it. âSarah?â You ask softly, wanting him to talk about it only if he wants to.
âMy- my daughter.â He reveals quietly, feeling your shocked stare on him as he drives. He doesnât look over at you, unsure of what your reaction will be. âMy ex-wife and I were young, too fuckinâ young. I got her pregnant and after Sarah was born, she decided she didnât want to be a wife and mother.â He shakes his head, unable to imagine leaving Sarah behind. âI raised her by myself. I wasnât in the business. I was determined to keep Sarah out of it. I built houses. Me ân Tommy had a construction business. I was pretty good. UntilâŠ.â He bites his lip. âMy uncle died and it started a fuckinâ mafia power struggle. They came after me andâŠ.â He cuts himself off, gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles are turning white. âShe was twelve.â He tells you. âJust a little girl.â
Your eyes widen, âshe -?â You canât vocalize it and tears sting in your eyes. âOh Joel.â You choke and he swallows harshly.Â
âIt was another - to get power. They thought Iâd crumble after losing her. I didâŠuntil I came back with a vengeance. Iâve done thingsâŠthings that shouldnât allow me to touch you, let alone be loved by you. Iâve sinned.â He confesses and you reach for his hand again.Â
âBaby, oh- I'm so sorry.â You sob, leaning down to kiss the back of his hand.
Heâs surprised that you are trying to comfort him. He had expected you to demand to know what heâs done. His eyes flutter and then open quickly to watch the road. âYou said you felt trapped.â He reminds you softly. âDo you- you donât like living with me?â
You shake your head, leaning back to look at him. âI like living with you but baby, I want to love living with you. I want to share a room. I want to share our lives. I want to share everything with you.â
âTess was drunk last night.â He admits quietly. âShe wanted me to fuck her, but I told her no. Told her that I was married. She begged to just sleep beside me one last time, she knew it was over. I swear to you that I didnât fuck her. Itâs just been you.â
You are surprised at the way she begged him to fuck her but not shocked. Your heart pounds when you hear him confess itâs been you, only you. âI believe you. If I find out otherwise, I donât care what you do for a living, Iâll chop your balls off.â You promise, knowing you have to stand your ground.
He smirks when he stops at the red light, looking over at you and nodding. âIâll give you the knife, baby.â He tells you. âIâve done a lot of shit Iâm not proud of, but Iâm no piece of shit cheater.â
You smile, knowing his morality will be a gray area for you, but you knew what you were getting into you. You love him. The real him and you wonât deny that. You want to spend the rest of your life with Joel. âI want you to take me home and make love to me. Not rough. Just the two of us. Take our time.â You tell him, kissing the back of his hand again.
Joel nods, knowing that he needs to show you some tenderness. Show you how he feels. You arenât just some woman heâs fucking, youâre his wife and apparently, you want to stay his wife. âI can do that.â He promises. âI can be gentle. I want to show you.â
You want Joel to show you some softness. When you arrive back at the estate, he opens the door for you and escorts you inside and upstairs. You head to your room but he takes your hand, guiding you to his. A room you have never been in before. âAre you sure, baby?â You ask, knowing that he has always considered this room to be off limits to everyone, including you despite you being married on paper.
âYes.â He nods. âThe sheets have been changed, I want you in my bed. I want you to stay with me, sleep beside me.â He murmurs softly. You bite your lip and he opens the door and guides you inside, closing it behind him. Itâs masculine, dark, heavy furniture but there are multiple pillows on the bed. Minimal and clean, just the way he likes it.
You admire the bedroom, large and imposing like him but simple and masculine. You like it, it feels like him. You turn to face him, tilting up to kiss his neck softly, your hands working on the buttons of his shirt. You want to see all of him. âI love you.â You murmur, kissing his chin.
âI love you too.â His hands slide down to pick up the bottom of your dress. âWanted to punch that asshole, grinding against you.â He growls. âThinking he had a chance with you.â
You shake your head as he pulls your dress over your body. âHe never did. I was trying to push him away. Only you. Itâs only you.â You promise him and gasp when he drops your dress to the floor and his hands find your ass, tugging you up against his body. You reach between you, working on his belt and you are able to pull it out from the loops without moving away from him. âIâm yours.â You promise, showing him your hand with the ring he placed on your finger.Â
âMine.â He agrees, leaning in to kiss your hand and he brings it to his chest. He closes his eyes and sighs softly before he looks at you again. âYouâre so beautiful.â He tells you quietly. âThe first thing I thought when I saw you was that you were pretty.â He reaches out and traces the edge of your bra. âLet me see you, baby.â
You reach behind you to unclasp your bra, âeven when I was blindfolded.â You tease and he nods, âeven then.â Your heart melts and you reach down to unbutton his jeans, unzipping them and pulling the zipper down. You reach in to grip his cock, hard and throbbing for you, and that thrills you
âShit.â He hisses, rocking his hips forward. âWant you to sit on my face.â Heâs wanted you to before now, but youâve always resisted. He knows itâs your self-image preventing it, but he wants to see you ride his tongue. âDo it for me, baby.â
Your stomach twists and youâre nervous. âI- baby. I donât want to hurt you.â You shake your head but his fingers dig into your ass.Â
âYou wonât.â He insists and You concede. âIf i hurt you-â You trail off and he scoffs, âyou wonât.â You poke his chest, âyou tell me.â You insist and he snorts but nods. You step out of your shoes and push your panties down, waiting for him to get situated.
Joel peels his pants down and lays down on the bed, watching you hungrily and you awkwardly kneel on the bed. âYou arenât going to hurt me, baby. I promise you, I can push you off if I need to.â He understands your hesitation, but heâs salivating at the idea of having your pussy sitting on his face.
You shift to straddle his chest and he tuts, grabbing your ass to pull you up so you are hovering over his face. He groans at the sight of your dripping cunt and you gasp when his tongue snakes out to slide through your folds. âFuck baby.â You moan, lowering your hips unconsciously and he groans your name when you start to relax and rest your weight over him.
He holds your hips, needing to be able to pull you back down if you shift to lift off of him. Groaning into your pussy happily when you roll your hips. His tongue flicking over your clit and then back down to push up inside you.
âFuck.â You gasp, tilting your head back and your hands come up to grip the headboard. âJoel. Oh God. That feels so good.â You confess breathlessly as he pushes his tongue deep inside of you. You moan when his tongue flicks over your clit again and you forget to keep your posture stiff as you relax even more.
Time is completely suspended, all he cares about is making you feel good. His cock throbs and spurts pre-cum as he feels the first flood of your juices soak his mouth and you havenât even cum yet. Groaning into your flesh as he devours you.
You feel like you are floating, his mouth on your clit and his tongue pushing deep inside of you. You finally give in to the feelings and grind down onto his face. âOh fuck Joel. Itâs - youâre too good. So good baby.â You whimper, feeling like you could die and be happy. He makes you feel like you are on cloud nine. âOh God. I love you.â You whine, fingers gripping the headboard.
He canât talk, but he squeezes your hips, eager to hear you say that again. He loves you, he knows he does. Youâve burrowed your way into his cold heart like Ellie has and he would murder for you, he would die for you.
You are so close. Grinding down onto his face a little more. âFuck baby. I love you. Iâm gonna cum- Iâm gonna - oh shit!â You hiss, thighs pressing against his head and you worry in the back of your mind if youâre suffocating him.
Joel groans, eyes fluttering closed as he works you through the most satisfying orgasm heâs ever pulled out of you. He knows you love it from how you are moaning and panting his name.
You try to catch your breath, your heart racing and your chest heaving as you relax from your orgasm. âBaby. Oh God. That was-â You pant, shifting off of his face and you shuffle down his body until you are kneeling between his legs. You reach out to grip his cock and take him into your mouth.
âShit.â Youâve blown him, of course you have. Youâve been fucking for two months, but tonight, you seem desperate to suck his fucking soul out through his cock. âOh fuck, baby, god damn you have such a good mouth.â His toes curl and his legs twitch when you reach down and fondle his balls in your hand.
You watch him, his eyes closing and his fingers find the back of your head. You pull off of his cock for a moment, continuing to pump him in your hand. âI love you, my handsome husband.â You coo, taking him back into your mouth until heâs pulling you off of him.
âI need to be inside you, baby.â He pants, pulling you up and rolling you over in one smooth move. âI love you, my sexy wife.â He growls, biting your bottom lip and smirking at you.
You smile against his mouth, caressing his cheeks as he hovers over you. You lift your legs up to wrap around his waist and he shuffles closer on his knees, reaching down to grip his cock so he can start to push inside of you. âI love you.â You sigh when heâs fully inside of you, feeling like youâre where you belong.
âI love you too.â He groans quietly, pushing his arms underneath your back and holding you close. He wants to be as close as he can as he kisses your lips.
You whimper and he starts to move inside of you, making you cling to him. Thereâs nothing rough, no choking, no spanking. Itâs soft and sweet and everything youâve ever wanted from your marriage, from your husband. âFeel so good. Always feel so good. No one has ever made me feel this way before.â
âGood.â He chokes out, burrowing his face into your neck and inhaling your sweet scent. âYou are so soft and perfect. You take me when Iâm rough and beg for more.â He praises you softly. âAnd I want more of this. More intimacy. Soft. Iâll be soft for you.â
You know he will give you that, heâs showing now that heâs capable of that and you understand his rougher side. You enjoy it but this makes you feel so connected to Joel. âI love all of you. Every side of you. Whatever you give me. I want it all.â You promise breathlessly, caressing his back and one hand slides up to run your fingers through his hair.
Joel practically purrs when your fingers are in his hair. His hips slow down and he barely rocks into you. âI- I never would have killed you. Or your sister.â He promises you. âI donât hurt women or kids.â
You know that now, understanding his character, and you want to tell your sister about your husband, have her meet him. âI know, baby. I know that now. I know you are good. Deep down, youâre a good man.â You assure him, kissing his neck. âI love that about you. Only I know that youâre good. Me and Ellie know.â You promise, rocking your hips up to meet his.
Heâs overwhelmed that you believe in him so firmly. His heart is pounding and he knows that you are his purpose, you and Ellie. He will take care of you and her until he takes his last breath.
You arenât sure how much time passes, it seems like you spend hours under the rocking of his hips until he shifts and presses his fingers to your clit. âWant you to cum for me, baby.â He murmurs into your neck and you whine, bucking up into his touch.Â
âYes. Yes. Going to cum for you.â You promise, walls fluttering around his cock.
Joel kisses you tenderly, feeling your pulse jump under his lips. âLove you so much baby, youâre so good.â He praises, noting how much you preen under the compliments. You deserve them. You deserve better than him but by some miracle, you love him. âSo perfect for me. My beautiful, sexy woman.â
You gasp, clamping down on his cock, unable to stop yourself with the raspy compliments he pours into your ear. âOh. Oh. Oh.â You pant, clenching your eyes shut as you cum, soaking him with your juices.
âThatâs it, thatâs it darlinâ.â He groans, his tongue lapping at your salty skin as he works you through your orgasm and chases his own. âFeels so fuckinâ good.â
You need him to fill you up. âCum for me. Cum for me, Joel.â You plead into his neck, nails digging into his flesh as he rocks into you, his hips slapping against your thighs and thereâs nothing but the two of you in this moment. He pushes deep a half dozen thrusts later, heâs spilling into you, painting your walls, and you love it. You love him. You hum, closing your eyes as he rests his head on your chest, his breath puffing hot on your skin.
Joel feels like heâs pulled apart. His heart bursting happily as he catches his breath. âI love you.â He sighs. It might not have been ideal for you to witness Tommy murdering someone, it scared you and he hates that. But being a mafia boss brought you into his life and heâs grateful for that. Happy to have you as his wife, forever.
#pedro pascal#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x plus size reader#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#tlou hbo#joel miller imagine#mob au#mob boss joel miller
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers
Nominated by @iwrestledavongonce
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
2 Full stories and 14 shorts for writing events for a total of 16.
2. Whatâs your total AO3 word count?
765,503 but it is going to go up around 15,000 tomorrow with a new chapter ^_^
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Currently Sailor Moon. In the past I also wrote Slayers, Gundam Wing, and Power Rangers. Started a Inu Yasha one but I'm not sure what happened to the first chapter and meh. I don't even remember what it was going to be about.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Chaos Theory
Rebirth
Let Them Wait
Our Last Night
Dating a Teen Idol
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I love interacting with readers. I have made some truly wonderful friendships this way.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Is This the End? Is currently posted. I am currently working on Act 71 of Chaos Theory.... the act where Seiya and Usagi have a really nasty fight. That one will win out when it is posted at the end of June.
7. Whatâs the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Runaway Date. I had so much fun writing a short silly fic featuring Minako and Yaten.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Yes. The story is tagged Mamoru/Usagi and Usagi/Seiya. Some of the MamoUsa die hard shippers are umm.... passionate about their ship and will not accept anything else. If a story features both typically one will win out. Then there are the random ones on FF.net.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
No. I have a hard enough time trying to writing any scene that is remotely steamy. So much editing to get to what it looks like by the time it is posted.
10. Do you write crossovers? Whatâs the craziest one youâve written?
I have never done a crossover.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yes. I have contacted FF.net multiple times and have never received a response. A person stole my first ever fan fic I posted on A Sailor Moon Romance and changed the name to their own. They posted part of the story. The posting stopped right around the time ASR crashed. I still have the original that I wrote when I was 13. It is staying on my computer and will not see the light of day. It is so bad with so many mistakes. However, I do like the re-write of it, Rebirth.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! I received a request earlier this year to translate Rebirth into Russian. One chapter was posted on a Russian fanfiction site and then it disappeared. I don't know what happened.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Sorta? When I was in high school. SailorStars Awakening. I floated an idea to a friend what would it be like if Usagi was consumed by Chaos? It started as one idea and the co-author kind of took it and ran with it. Decades later we have Chaos Theory, how I originally pictured the concept.
Then there is the What if the Starlights Appeared in the R Season of Sailor Moon fic on FF.net. I have debated about re-writing that one but I realllly like the world I've built with Chaos Theory.
14. Whatâs your all time favourite ship?
Is it shocking to read Sei/Usa for the 90s anime?
15. Whatâs a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I finish all the fics I post on-line. Might take years or decades, but it will have an ending!
16. What are your writing strengths?
I used to hate battle scenes but over the years I feel like I've gotten a lot better writing them.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
The steamy scenes... so I'm trying to work on them.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Hinted at in this story at best. I don't mind seeing dialogue in other languages. Google Translate!
19. First fandom you wrote for?
When I was ten I wrote a Power Rangers story but didn't know it was called fan fiction at the time. First story I wrote that knew it was fan fiction was the stolen Sailor Moon one mentioned above.
20. Favourite fic youâve written?
Chaos Theory. I keep coming back to the story even though I think I'm done because I realize I have more I want to write.
Other amazing writers: @kaleidodreams, @chemicalfairyx, @speak-mnemosyne1
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Jealousy (2) Masterlist
part one
Close To You (ao3) - DracosPubicHair michael/luke E, 37k
Summary: Michael is a grumpy teenage boy who needs to "lighten up," which is what his mother likes to call it. Michael thinks he's perfectly fine with his Nintendo and his Xbox, but Karen isn't going to accept that when she gets a call from an old friend and invites them to their farm miles away from his gaming consoles.
Michael isn't happy about it, even if there's a cute blond that lives there who does constant housework and is best friends with his dog.
Comment, Like, Subscribe My Heart (ao3) - thesoulsailor michael/luke N/R, 54k
Summary:Â Youtube!AU in which Luke is a non-binary beauty guru, Michael is the lead singer of Ashtonâs cover band and Calum thinks gender roles are overrated anyways.
Demesne (ao3) - merlypops michael/luke E, 3k
Summary: 'Michael remembers wondering vaguely when the tables had turned so much because he was pretty sure this had all stemmed from him being jealous but now Luke was riding Michael like there was no tomorrow and Michael remembers Luke sucking at his neck and feeling like he was going to die.'
Luke is teasing Michael during a show and Michael tries to show Luke who's calling the shots, except it doesn't exactly turn out that way.
Goodnight Kisses? (ao3) - heart_is_gonna_flatline luke/calum N/R, 8k
Summary: Calum is invited to spend the weekend at Michael's house, and maybe his feelings for Luke get a bit out of hand.
Hooked (ao3) - im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance michael/luke E, 7k
Summary: Luke had been in love with Michael for as long as he could remember but unfortunately, Michael was seeing someone else. He was so hooked on his love for Michael that he went to seek advice from Ashton, who happened to be very helpful; except, Ashton did not know the one Luke had been talking about was Michael, his boyfriend.
I can feel you deep inside me (ao3) - CutesyMe luke/ashton E, 2k
Summary: Luke looked at him a little stunned as Ashton was sitting on his stool, sweaty and hot. Luke knew then by the looks that Ashton was giving him that he was jealous. And in that exact moment he could also feel it. Of course he could, he just now noticed how his mate was feeling. He wondered how he didn't notice before because his alphas jealousy of Colton was so strong.
Or Luke gets on his knees for another boy and Ashton is jealous
/ / I'm Yours / / (ao3) - Fauxxalien michael/luke G, 750
Summary: Basically Michael gets jealous and takes his anger out on Luke ~
I won't let go (ao3) - lourrygum michael/ashton E, 6k
Summary: " "What the hell is going on?" He asks, folding his arms. Michael swallows, staring at the ground, the bitter feeling of regret slowly flooding his system. He'd never exactly been a subtle person, even when he was trying. And tonight he certainly wasn't trying. He'd thrown all caution to the wind, flirted outrageously with Luke, who had of course, being the affectionate person Michael knows him to be, flirted right back. "
or, the one where michael gets fed up of being treated like ashtons platonic best friend despite the fact that the have sex on almost a daily basis
Jealous (ao3) - dracomalfloy michael/luke E, 3k
Summary: Luke usually isn't the jealous one in the relationship. Usually.
jealous (ao3) - Shutuplashton michael/luke N/R, 2k
Summary: In which Luke is jealous of Michael and wants him all to himself.
Jealous (ao3) - radioactive_pizza michael/luke G, 1k
Summary:Â //the one where Michael and Calum are joking around and flirting and Luke is honestly sick of it
Jealousy Is Killing Me (ao3) - mikeyspankme michael/calum T, 1k
Summary: Calum may or may not be insanely jealous and upset when he watches his boyfriend, Michael, carry his best friend, Luke, across the stage at one of their concerts.
kitten (ao3) - orphan_account michael/luke N/R, 1k
Summary: michael has been flirting with his new friend calum, and luke has to show him whose kitten he really is
Promise (ao3) - paperstorm michael/luke E, 5k
Summary: The whole world has this really bad habit of wanting to hit on Luke at every available opportunity and Luke has an equally bad habit of not being aware itâs even happening and flirting back accidentally because thatâs just his permanent setting.
Rabbits (ao3) - im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance michael/luke E, 3k
Summary: Luke was grumpy because of some things he saw online and to add to it, Ashton has made some new rules. That was not all, Luke blamed it all on Michael. On the other hand, Michael knew exactly what Luke's problem was; lack of attention. Michael had his own ways of giving Luke attention, ways he knew Luke would never refuse.
Straight A Student (ao3) - orphan_account michael/luke, michael/calum E, 3k
Summary: "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Ignoring me? Lying to me? Not listening to me and hitting on my friends? What has gotten into you? And you better have a good excuse because I am really fucking mad at you!"
Michael swallows, he really doesn't have a good excuse other then him acting like a child who doesn't get his way. Also, with the way Luke is looking at him he can't think of anything else but repeating to himself to not get hard. Do not get hard.
Or,
Michael hates getting failed, Luke hates getting jealous and Michael loves teasing.
(Or something like that)
the only thing that I ask, love me mercilessly (ao3) - orphan_account michael/ashton E, 6k
Summary:Â Ashton knew he shouldnât be jealous.
He shouldnât, because he knew what Michael was doing and what heâs after and after last time Ashton had told himself that he wouldnât let Michael do this to him again, but.
But he was jealous, is the thing.
or, alternatively, Michael gets wrecked in Bali.
there's no way that we could rewind (ao3) - bisexual_jace michael/luke E, 12k
Summary: Or this is what happens when Michael and Luke hook up over the course of the ROWYSO tour and pretend they arenât in love.
These Eyes Are Filled With Envy (ao3) - nationalnobody calum/ashton E, 2k
Summary: It would have been slightly okay, Ashton tells himself, if they didn't flirt, or sit close to each other...or just converse really; but they did and it made Ashton want to punch a hole right through the dry wall.
((In which Ashton gets jealous and angry and Calum has to pay the price for it, never mind the fact that he enjoys it immensely))
This time we're not giving up let's make it last forever (ao3) - screamtobeheard michael/luke, michael/oc E, 16k
Summary: âI wanna ask you something,â Michael says and he canât contain his smile because of nerves. âOkay,â Luke murmurs, closing his eyes again. âI want, Uhm, I want you to take my virginity, Luke.â
or where Michael is a virgin and wants Luke to be his first
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absolutely losing it over your 'mind your business' wille screencap this is pure gold đđ
also your thoughts!!! *discreetly slides you a can we be friends note haha stealth mode 100*
I'm so glad that my roommate is a heavy sleeper bc I may or may not have had a happy freak out when I saw I had another ask in my inbox skdvxksbd. I'm very glad you liked my "mind your business" wille, I made it in three minutes on my phone when I was ignoring my work <3
and OMG my thoughts. okay, I decided like, ten minutes ago that tomorrow I'm actually gonna post my whole lengthy thing of what I want out of s3, but!! here are some of my random thoughts that have been plaguing my brain:
starting off strong with the first thing I saw when I opened my notes app - this random idea that I had for a wilmon au: wille and simon as orpheus and eurydice. I got this idea bc I saw one of those "no one would sit at my grave" "he would" edits that are making the rounds on tiktok, and all the comments were saying "wille would follow simon to the grave" etc etc. and bc I'm a greek mythology nerd, my mind immediately went to the myths and then I was like "omfgs orpheus and eurydice." I can't decide who I want to be who bc on one hand there's simon who is clearly the musician out of the two. on the other hand I have this vivid image of wille going to the underworld and begging to save simon, willing to do literally anything to get the love of his life back
sticking on the greek mythology track for a sec (apologies, this probably wasn't what you were expecting, but I was one of the first members of my high school's greek myths club for a reason) - I love thinking up aus, and in a world where greek gods and young royals coexisted in the same universe, simon is 100% the son of apollo. like are you kidding me??? the sun was made for omar (and simon by default) (yes this is inspired by omar's insta pic)
pov outsider is like, one of my favorite things ever. in every fandom I'm in I inevitably search for it on ao3. and so I just love thinking abt what the people around simon and wille are thinking - like what do rosh and ayub see when they look at wille and simon???? they see their best friend who is strong in his beliefs against the upper class somehow being wooed by the prince of all people, then they see said prince break his heart, and then months later after they try to convince their bestie to move on, said prince is on national television basically proclaiming his love for their bestie. like I want to know what they were thinking!!! I want to see into their minds. I wanna know if they were somewhere like idk, maybe their school was broadcasting the thing or smth (idk what time of day it was sorry), and they don't wanna watch bc fuck him, he hurt their best friend, but then???? he turns around and takes back control of his own story and says no to harmful and empty traditions???? like if I was them I'd be losing my shit, full on what the fuck mode and texting simon to tell me everything bc I need to know what's happening
I also want to see into the minds of the average hillerska student. like they had front row seats to the Drama that is wille and simon - what were they thinking whenever their prince and that non res kid slipped into the music room together??? when simon nailed wille w the ball and the most reaction anyone had was the guy who was clapping behind simon??? what did the choir thinking when simon led wille away??? (bc they have to have the best seats in the house - they've been humming along to simons love song for wille for a while now, they gotta know it all, lmao). basically these pov outsider thoughts aren't fully fleshed out, but they rattle around my brain all the time and I'm always here wondering what people are thinking
something I want in s3 that's probably gonna be on my list: simon getting the fucking respect he deserves. like out of everyone at that school, wille is the one who respects him the most. wille was the first one to look past his societal labels and see the brilliant, shining boy that simon is. and yeah they've been dealing with all their shit so that distracted from it, but now that they're out, that there's no more hiding (they're stepping into the light skxjsj) - even w all that, I highly doubt that the majority of the hillerska population will give up their prejudices just like that. so I'm expecting to see students be kinda nasty, like I wouldn't be surprised if vincent ramps up his douchebaggery in s3 bc he's an elitist asshole. and bc I'm expecting that to happen, I'm also expecting wille to snap at anyone who tries to belittle simon, laying down the groundwork for simon to have his footing w all those rich kids and stand up for himself. idk, I just really want simon to be respected at school at the very least, bc we all know that the royal court ain't gonna be respecting him
on the topic of the royal court: fuck jan-olof. all my homies hate jan-olof. if I was in a room w the worst person alive and jan-olof, there'd only be one person in that room w me and it'd be that bitch jan-olof. I hope that while wille and simon are busy smiling next season, jan-olof will be suffering immensely
speaking of wilmon smiling, I need at least seven seasons of them just being domestic happy bitches after s3 is over please and thank you Lisa <3
I have a lot of vague fic ideas that I wanna flesh out, so hopefully I'll get the brain power to do that during winter break. some of those ideas are: a pov outsider from krissy's pov set in a hypothetical s3 where simon and wille are at the palace. they've just had a tense meal that was after an intense royal court meeting, and miss ma'am is frustrated. she goes on a walk to clear her head, only to end up hiding behind a corner bc there's wilhelm and his boyfriend, standing in the gardens under the moonlight. and she doesn't know why she doesn't immediately step up and make her presence known - maybe it's because she wants to understand why her son is so willing to throw everything away for that boy, or maybe it's because now, bathed in the moonlight, is the first time she's seen her son genuinely smile in over a year. it's the first time she's ever heard him giggle like that since he was a child being chased by erik, and it's all because of that boy who helped cause all this trouble. and it goes on and she eventually leaves but gets an appreciation for the way her son is never more alive than when he's with simon. I'm tentative abt writing this bc I haven't written in krissy's pov, but who knows. my OTHER idea I came up w like, after I finished s2 and had to silently freak out bc I was stupid and finished the show in the middle of a lecture hallđ basically I wanna write all these times simon thought "I love you" but never said it and the times he finally does - I have another page in my notes app for when those moments should be, and who knows! maybe I'll write them one day
another thing I wanna write that's completely out of left field: just inserting magic of some kind or another into the yr universe. I have a bad habit of making everything magical bc thats where my eternal brainrot lies, so. if anyone wants to see that, hmu and I'll share some of my many ideas w the yr universe and magic (this includes many crossovers bc I'm also really bad at stopping myself from crossing over all my fandoms in some way shape or form)
anyways!! this is completely incoherent and an absolute mess, but that's kinda how my brain operates so I hope you liked at least some of it, lol. thank you so much for this ask, my excitement for being able to ramble abt yr is through the roof *discreetly accepts the can we be friends note bc hell yeah we can, your stealth mode is so good, 10/10*
#aaaaand now im gonna go to bed bc its almost 6 in the morning where i am and i havent slept lmao#if anyone wants more of my random thoughts hmu bc#*slaps my brain like its the roof of a car* this bad boy can hold so much random nonsense its insane#young royals#simon eriksson#prince wilhelm#wilhelm young royals#wilmon#ask response
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Hi there đđđ hope you're having a great day
If it's okay, I'd like to ask you đżđ„đ on writer ask game)
Aw, thank you! Of course it's okay to ask! <3 (I don't want to think about my day. Or tomorrow. Too much homework, brain is fried.)
đżhow does creating make you feel? Creating is such a funny word to use for that. Most of the time, I spend so much time trying to put myself in the character's place that I'm kind of feeling what I want them to feel. If the characters are happy, I'm thinking happy thoughts, if they're feeling overwhelmed I summon that. Just while I'm writing, though. There's a lot of frustrations on the way, especially when I get stumped because I know the perfect word for something, but I just cannot for the life of me remember it, but there's also a lot of laughing, embarrassment over the characters, and evil cackling as I hope other people will feel as much as I do over them. I kind of spin the wheel of emotions everytime I get to writing.
đ„find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it. It's this one. I know exactly why it's "unpopular" â it only has one character tag, no relationship tags, and there's very few additional tags. It only has 31 hits. But the thing is! When I wrote it, I was really, really happy and felt like I was on top of the world. It's the only fanfic on AO3 about my own country (as of right now), and it's just a celebration of that.
đwhen you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer? Yes! I love reading if I got what they wanted to convey and know if they feel appreciated. Or if they got whatever joke I tried to make. I do like having the last word though. đ
Â
#For the second one I decided to stay in my emotions#thank you for the ask! <3#prussianbluevanilla#For the first one I actually think publishing makes me feel more than creating#I get so nervous and hopeful whenever I publish anything
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