#also i use she/her for hanami exclusively so my friends do it too because of me. i am the ceo of girl hanami

[applescabs]

Alright here's both of my lists.

Left one is; canon (even when unintentional) but there's (widespread) stupid discourse about it so I'll die on these hills defending them

Right one is; basis is either in minor hints/events or conjured up by my beautiful mind

anyways. GIRLIES. GET BEHIND ME!!1!

<v.2.0 is out now!>

[honeyedhoseok]

Hanami Pt. 1 | The V2 Series

Genre | just messy, messy angst 

Word Count | 4.5K

Warnings | Y/N has lots of anxiety in this chapter, be warned! LOTS of pining, mentions of depression, etc. Basically just Y/N wallowing.

Summary | You and Hongbin head downtown to meet the rest of your friends in celebration of the cherry blossom festival. 

A/N | This is slight filler. But! It’s pretty important for what’s to come. Sorry if it seems redundant. It took me forever to pump this out, so I hope you enjoy, nonetheless <3 also, the answer to who is holding hands in the image teaser is finally solved!!

Read the rest of the V2 Series HERE!

Yeonwoo | Picture Message Received [11:28 AM]

Yeonwoo [11:28AM] I’m downtown!!! Cherry blossom ice cream!!! You guys need to try this

Hyejin [11:34AM] Yeonwoo, it’s not even lunch time yet?

Yeonwoo [11:36AM] And? I’m already drinking, too :) the bars opened early. look at this thing!!

Yeonwoo | Picture Message Received [11:36AM]

Yeonwoo [11:37AM] it’s called a Royal Orchid, isn’t it pretty?

 Y/N [11:38AM] holy fuck, I want one!!!!!!!

 Yeonwoo [11:40AM] come downtown!!! Let’s all meet up

 Hyejin [11:41AM] I’m down!

 After placing your phone on your nightstand, you roll over in bed, taking in the sight of a peacefully sleeping Hongbin beside you. His hair curls cutely around his temples, his mouth slightly agape at the deep sleep that has overcome him after getting home later than usual the night before. 

 He was only awake for an hour or two last night—long enough to heat up some leftovers in the oven and shovel them in his mouth—before he was trudging off to bed to sleep in on his upcoming day off.

 You hate to ask him, but you want to meet your friends downtown and since he didn’t have work— 

“Stop staring at me like that,” he murmurs with a dry throat, one eye creaking open to stare at you humorously. “I’m trying to sleep.” 

Your mouth falls open. “How’d you even know I was looking?” 

“I could feel it,” Hongbin says, a smile splitting his face in two. “You look like you’re about to apologize for something.” 

You hate that he can read you so well. “Well—I know it’s your day off,” you begin, watching Hongbin’s expression to gauge his reaction before you push further, “but Yeonwoo is out at the Cherry Blossom Festival and I was wondering if you wanted to go check it out?” 

“Sure,” he agrees easily, yawning. “Why are you acting like you’re afraid to ask me out?”  

Hongbin reaches out to caress the side of your face gently, hooking a finger under your chin to bring your mouth down to his for a chaste kiss. “Are you getting shy on me in our old age?” 

You return the soft press of his lips, but roll your eyes. “You’re older than me!” 

“Taller, too.” He grins, stretching his long limbs with a groan. “I just need to shower and then we can go.” 

“Really?” You say, grinning. “I’ll get dressed!” 

You hop out of bed, walking over to your dresser to pick out an outfit. A few moments later, Hongbin sidles up behind you, arms wrapping around your waist as he nuzzles his face into your neck.  

“You sure you don’t want to join me for a shower first?” He murmurs, placing a kiss on your shoulder.  

Your stomach stirs at the intent in his words, and you let out a breathy laugh. “I’m already clean,” you protest. “I took a shower last night before bed.” 

“I can help make you dirty again,” he suggests, nose ghosting up the juncture between your neck and shoulder. “Hmm?” 

Goosebumps arise where Hongbin’s breath floats over, paired with light kisses that have you closing your eyes as he continues his persuasive assault. Just as you are about to give in, Hongbin’s hands traveling south from your waist and under the long t-shirt you wore to bed, his phone vibrates on the nightstand.  

Loud buzzing noises fill the room and your eyes re-open, the desire fizzling out of your system just as quickly as it entered. You sigh, removing yourself from his embrace and returning to finding your clothes as Hongbin slinks away, leaving an apology whispered against your skin as he places a final, soft kiss on your shoulder.  

You won’t let a badly-timed phone call ruin your mood, though. At least Hongbin had agreed to come out at all, right? 

While Hongbin is in the shower, you find yourself indulging in your new habit of unhealthily checking Taehyung and Yeseul’s social media accounts for any updates.  

Today, along with hundreds of others in the city—and soon to include you and your friends—they are enjoying a day off to participate in the festivities of the annual cherry blossom festival.  Downtown was going to be buzzing today with street vendors and food carts and just general fun, which is why you wanted to go. It was no wonder that Taehyung and Yeseul would be out doing the same thing, but you roll your eyes at the post anyway. 

Despite seeing posts similar to these in the past few weeks from both Taehyung and Yeseul, it still turns your stomach. A little less, now—you’ll admit that much—but not because you’d come any closer to being okay with Taehyung completely moved on and living his best life after your—

What were you even supposed to call it? A falling out? A break up? For two people who weren’t exclusive, it didn’t seem right to call it that, even though the pain was so reminiscent of previous heartbreak you’d experienced. 

You stare at the photo for a while, letting your eyes trace over Taehyung’s soft locks, his pretty brown eyes and eyelashes, his tanned skin, his lips pulled into a cute smirk, the sleeves of his shirt coming down a little on his hand making a peace sign, the curve of his jaw. Tears prick at the backs of your eyes but you refuse to let them blur your vision, cradling Taehyung’s picture on the screen in your hands for just a little while longer as you settle into your longing—hoping that one day it won’t be so hard to see him like this. Hoping that one day you won’t feel so nostalgic when a picture of him pops up. Hoping that one day—and if it came soon, you’d be okay with that—that you won’t wish you could go back to the peaceful day at his apartment before everything fell apart.

You and Hongbin arrive downtown just as Yeonwoo gives you her updated location: a snow cone cart near the water. When you walk up, she’s ordering a Dragon Blood flavor in their largest size while Hyejin stands beside her, contemplating all of her options on the menu board with furrowed brows. 

Yeonwoo’s eyes light up. “You’re here!” she says, walking over to pull you into an embrace. “With Hongbin!” 

“I’m here,” he says cheerfully, returning her hug with small pats between the shoulder blades. “It’s been a while, right?”

“Yep,” Hyejin says, joining your group off to the side as she pockets her wallet. “Now Yeonwoo and I can third wheel like old times.”

You roll your eyes as Hongbin chuckles, feeling his hand find the small of your back. “Do you want a snow cone?” he asks. “My treat.”

You nod and he gets in line, leaving you with your reeling friends.

“So, how’s everything?”

The intent in Yeonwoo’s voice is hard to hide, and you try not to get annoyed by it. After your embarrassing break down in her car concerning Taehyung, she’d been periodically checking in on you to make sure you weren’t spiraling again. 

I’m fine, I promise, you’d texted her just recently.

In reality, you were definitely spiraling, just not where anyone could see it anymore. Being up to date with Taehyung’s escapades on his Instagram hurt, but somehow soothed the ache of emptiness inside you—it was almost enough just to see his face, see him smiling and happy even if it wasn’t with you. Almost.   

“Everything’s fine,” you respond, grinning. “I finally convinced Hongbin to do something with me on his day off, so this is the best day I’ve had in awhile.” 

“Aww,” Hyejin coos. “Cute, you’re like an old married couple.” 

You grimace at the comment, but force out a stifled laugh. “Something like that, yeah.” 

You glance to where Hongbin is in line, talking with the street vendor about the most popular flavors on the menu. He looked good today, you had to admit: his dark hair falling into his eyes as he dipped his chin in thank you to the vendor, his outfit a casual pair of jeans and a t-shirt that you hadn’t seen him in in so long you forgot he owned such clothes, the perfect smile he threw your way as he headed over, two yellow snow cones in his hands.  

He offers you one. “He said the pina colada was good,” he says. “I hope that’s okay?” 

You shrug, taking a bite out of the rounded top. Hongbin watches you with cautious eyes, but when you give him a smile while you crunch on the shaved ice, his face lights up happily. He takes out his phone to snap a quick picture of his own cone before having a taste.  

Something stirs in your stomach as you watch him, a warm feeling that has been dormant for a while.  

“Should we walk?” Yeonwoo asks. “I’m waiting on a friend to join us, they should be here in a little.” 

Hyejin laughs a little at the statement but when you look at her, she shakes her head in a way that lets you know she’ll tell you later.  

The four of you set out, walking beside the riverfront for a little while. Cherry blossoms litter the ground and there’s a happy air that settles above you in the atmosphere—for the first time in a while, you actually feel good.  

Maybe it’s the outside air,  maybe it’s the sugary sweetness of the snowcone in your hand, maybe it’s the way Hongbin’s fingers brush against your own at your side a few times before he finally catches them, lacing them through his and smiling down at you. 

The way your heart flutters at the action is surprising, but not unwelcome.  

“Look at those!” Yeonwoo says suddenly, pointing over at a vendor whose booth boasts a collection of hand-made wire flowers, the petals covered in resin in various shades of blues, pinks, and reds. 

She leads your group over, stooping in front of a display of the fake flowers in a small dirt-filled pot on the ground.  

“How much?” Hyejin asks the woman manning the booth. 

“Four dollars each,” the woman says, giving you all a warm smile. “Or fifteen for the pot.” 

“They’d be perfect for my coffee table,” Yeonwoo murmurs. “Should I get them?” 

She looks up at you for affirmation, making you chuckle. You can tell from the look in her eyes that she’s made up her mind, she just wanted someone else to tell her it was a good idea, too.  

“I mean, yeah—“  

“We’ll take them.” A voice behind you chimes in, reaching over the table display to hand the woman a twenty dollar bill. Both you and Yeonwoo turn around to see a grinning Jungkook handing the woman the money.  “Keep the change,” he adds with an incredibly charming smile. 

It’s been a long time since you’ve seen Jungkook—his hair is longer, but it looks good, somehow. And he’s broader like he’s been working out his upper body, particularly his chest and shoulders. His eyes flicker to yours and his mouth droops for a fraction of a second before he’s focused back on Yeonwoo, and he gives her a cheeky grin.  

“They’ll go good in the living room,” you hear him murmur to her as he hands her the pot of flowers. She grins up at him and he envelops her in a soft hug, his lips at her ear as he says something you can’t hear but has Yeonwoo  giggling and red in the face.  

Hongbin sidles up beside you, scaring you out of your transfixed gaze on Jungkook and Yeonwoo.  

“Jungkook, how you been, man?” Hongbin says, holding out his hand for a shake. Jungkook takes it, keeping one arm lazily draped over Yeonwoo’s shoulders. She shrugs it off after a few moments, looking uncomfortable with the way you and Hyejin’s eyes keep roaming her every move.  

You can’t help but wonder what Jungkook is doing here, and more importantly, if Taehyung is anywhere in the vicinity. Goosebumps arise on your skin at the thought, and you wrap your arms around yourself. You find yourself thinking of the social media posts you’d seen throughout the day.  

Jungkook had commented on Yeseul’s instagram update, you remembered that much. Was he meeting them here? Was Taehyung coming? Was he bringing Yeseul? Were you going to have to see them together? Your brain clouds with thoughts, so much that Hongbin has to say your name three times before you hear it.  

“You okay?” He asks, looking at you uneasily. He brushes a few stray hairs back from your face. “You don’t look so good, baby.” 

“I’m fine,” you say, swatting his hand away. You don’t mean to do it as angrily as you do, and the look of hurt that crosses Hongbin’s face has you backtracking, choosing to grab his hand and intertwine your fingers through his instead. “Sorry.” 

“Have you guys eaten?” Jungkook asks. “I passed a cart on the way over that was selling smoked turkey legs and they looked really good.” 

“Nope,” Yeonwoo replies, popping her lips on the ‘p’ at the end of the word.  

You raise your eyebrows at the statement, knowing surely from the text messages in your group chat that Yeonwoo had been snacking since she and Hyejin arrived downtown this morning.  

“Lead the way,” Hyejin says, gesturing for the two to lead at the front of the sidewalk. She joins you and Hongbin behind them, completely content with being the fifth wheel with the way a smirk settles onto her face.  

“What’s that thing you wanted to tell me?” you whisper to her, eyes darting to Yeonwoo.  

“I can’t tell you right now,” she replies, shaking her head. “But isn’t it obvious?” 

You purse your lips in thought. You were getting more curious by the moment—what was obvious?  

You remembered that a while ago, you’d thought Jungkook and Hyejin were going to be a thing, but Hyejin was never interested in him. What was he doing now? Were he and Yeonwoo getting close because they were discussing theories on you and Taehyung, why both of you were probably acting weird lately?  

Your stomach turns at the thought, and you focus on breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth for the rest of the walk to the food cart. Jungkook keeps bumping into Yeonwoo’s shoulder as you walk, making her giggle and push him away. Hongbin is silent beside you—probably still sulking about you pushing his hand away earlier—and Hyejin is only interested in her phone for the time being. The group atmosphere feels off now, and you can’t tell if it’s your imagination everything is really as tilted as it seems. 

The most important thing on your mind at the moment was whether or not you could get Jungkook to talk about Taehyung without it being too obvious; maybe you could pull him to the side at some point, or mention Taehyung in passing— 

“Y/N, do you remember when we came to the Cherry Blossom festival and spent the whole time looking for a place that sold the drink we saw someone holding on their instagram story?” Yeonwoo says, turning to look over her shoulder at you with a grin.  

You nod immediately. “We searched everywhere,” you say, shaking your head at the memory. 

“So you never found it?” Jungkook asks. “What did it look like?” 

Yeonwoo gives him the general description of the drink from what she remembers, and Jungkook does some searching as you all stand in line for the food cart.  

“I’m going to grab us that bench over there,” Hyejin says. “Y/N, come with me so I don’t have to look like a loser sitting by myself.” 

You let Hyejin pull you out of line, yelling at Hongbin to get you a corn dog before you’re too far away. Hyejin sits in front of you on the wooden bench, pulling out a powder puff from her purse before she speaks.  

“So, are you playing dumb right now?” Hyejin asks. She was always one to get right to the point. “‘Cause I’m kind of confused.” 

You watch her inspect her reflection in a small heart-shaped mirror that she also pulls from her purse, feeling your pulse quicken in your veins.  

“What?” you manage to say after a few moments. “What do you mean?” 

“You know that I know, right?” Hyejin says. “About everything.” 

This is what she wanted to talk to you about. So Yeonwoo was discussing your secrets—not with Jungkook, but with Hyejin; which meant she’d figured it out. 

Your stomach clenches at the thought and somewhere in the back of your head you now have a slight headache forming. You should have known you couldn’t trust Yeonwoo, or anyone, for that matter, with such a sensitive subject as Taehyung—why did you ever think it was a good idea to show your emotions in front of her that day at the cafe? 

Hyejin looks over her mirror at you, raising an eyebrow as she waits for your answer.  

You blow out a long breath, hands gripping onto the edge of the table, fingernails digging into the splintered wood to keep you grounded.  

“You do?” you say weakly. “Hyejin—” 

She snaps the compact shut suddenly, eliciting a sharp clap that makes you jump in your seat.  

“They’re kind of cute, right? I mean, I know that we had a small thing a while ago, but it never went anywhere, you know? I like him better for her,” Hyejin says, looking over to where your friends stand in line.  

Your eyes follow hers, looking at Jungkook and Yeonwoo in line for a few moments before it registers. 

“Oh,” you breathe out, finally putting the pieces together. “Oh my god.”  

A giggle bursts from behind your closed lips, followed by another until you are full-on laughing at the situation. Hyejin wasn’t talking about you, she was talking about Yeonwoo—and the thought makes you so happy a tear rolls down your cheek at your hysterically-induced laughter.  

Hyejin smiles at you a little, laughing a little out of spite, but her eyebrows furrow slightly as she’s unable to understand why the situation is so funny to you. After laughing way too hard for way too long, you finally straighten up, wiping tears from the corners of your eyes as Hyejin watches on.  

“Yes, them—” you clear your throat, stilling recovering from laughing as you nod in the direction of Jungkook and Yeonwoo’s backs, “they’re cute together—but as in, like, friends?” 

“What? You are not this fucking slow, Y/N” Hyejin snaps, slapping her hand down on the table. 

You blink a few times, still not understanding.  

“Oh my god,” Hyejin groans. “They’re dating, Y/N. Jesus.” 

“Yeonwoo and Jungkook?” you say incredulously. 

Hyejin nods in a way that screams “duh,” but you don’t have time to be offended by her demeanor.  

“Since when?” 

“I don’t know. A couple of weeks now, I think.” 

“How come no one told me?” 

You look back to where your best friend is standing in line, and suddenly, you can see it: the way Yeonwoo’s shoulder nudges  innocently against Jungkook’s, down to where Jungkook’s knuckles brush against the back of Yeonwoo’s hand, just itching to grab it and show her some cute affection in public.  

“God, Yeonwoo was right,” Hyejin says, her voice full of pity. “You really have clocked out from the world around you lately.” 

You have to fight the urge to send a biting remark back. The comment stings, but you know it’s also true.  

“Yeonwoo said that?” You ask, teeth sinking into your bottom lip. “What else has she said?” 

“About you?” Hyejin asks, raising an eyebrow. “Nothing, really. She’s kind of been in la la land lately with Jungkook around.” 

“Oh yeah?” You reply weakly.  

For some reason, the news hits you a little harder than you expected. Had you really been so caught up in your own problems that you hadn’t noticed anything around you? 

“Listen, we’re all going through stuff. I get it,” Hyejin begins, and you can already tell that you’re not going to like what she has to say. “But Yeonwoo and you are supposed to be best friends—like the real kind, stronger than any of us—and for you to just cut her off  because you want to fight your battles on your own? Well, it’s—she’s hurt, Y/N.” 

You look down at your fingernails, at the chipped paint that remains on the bed from weeks of neglect. Your eyes threaten to well up with tears but you hold them back, even though you’re sure Hyejin can see how close you are from the red tint to your cheeks and nose.  

“She’s trying—well, we both are, I guess. But Yeonwoo is really trying to be there for you. Please tell me you see that?” 

“Of course I do,” you say quietly, and the stinging feeling behind your eyes doubles as you finally hold Hyejin’s gaze. “There’s just some stuff that’s not worth dragging other people into, you know? I don’t want to burden her with all my mess.” 

“What kind of mess?” Hyejin asks, quirking an eyebrow. “Are you in debt or something?” 

“What?” you say incredulously. “No! I’m not in debt, oh my god. Well, I am—what person our age isn’t—but that’s besides the point. This has nothing to do with that.” 

“I was going to say, I can help you organize your finances, Y/N. All you have to do is—” 

“Hyejin, no,” you say, laughing a little. “I’m fine, my finances are fine.” 

You two grin at each other and the smile on your face feels genuine. The weight pressing on your shoulders for the last month feels a little less like a crushing weight, if only for a few moments. You still weren’t sure if you could ever indulge fully into your burdens to Yeonwoo, but it was nice that she seemed ready to listen if you ever did.  

The rest of the group joins you two at the table then, sitting down cardboard trays filled with fried goodies that make your mouth water. As you reach towards Yeonwoo to pinch a piece of funnel cake off, her eyes meet yours and you give her a small smile. She returns it, and you consider that another win.  

You float through conversation with your friends, attempting to catch up on small things you missed with Yeonwoo and Hyejin after removing yourself from your group chat. Hyejin had recently taken up a new kickboxing class that she claimed was doing amazing things for her obliques, and Yeonwoo was getting into gardening but was killing everything she touched so far.  

“Hence, why I bought the flowers for her,” Jungkook adds in, throwing a teasing smile Yeonwoo’s way. “If I come over to another sad-looking flower pot—” 

“Hey! That wasn’t my fault!” Yeonwoo insists, laughing. “I told Taehyung I thought my green thumb was black and he insisted I try a succulent—” 

“—that you still managed to kill!” 

Every giggles at their banter, which quickly fades as your boyfriend mentions the one person who could ruin your good mood.  

“Speaking of Taehyung,” Hongbin says, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Where’s he been lately? I haven’t seen him around as much.” 

Somehow, across the table, Jungkook’s eyes meet yours. He stares pointedly at you, almost in a taunting demeanor, and the funnel cake on your stomach sours a little at the eye contact. You too look at each other a little too long—you, trying to figure out why he is looking at you so pointedly, and Jungkook, waiting on your answer—before Hongbin laughs.  

“What? Is he out doing something we can’t know?” 

“No,” Jungkook says, finally redirecting his gaze beside you at Hongbin. “He’s out with his girlfriend a lot lately—someone from work.” 

“Girlfriend?” you and Hongbin ask at the same time, though your tone is a little more disappointed and little less surprised than Hongbin’s. 

 “Yeseul, right?” Yeonwoo asks. “I think we saw them together the other day downtown—at the cafe, remember, Y/N?” 

Her tone is ginger, dancing lightly on the subject, and you’re appreciative. You do a nod-shrug combination at the comment, feeling Jungkook’s eyes on you once more.  

“Ah, so that’s why he’s not around as much anymore,” Hongbin says, chuckling. “Well good for him. Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N?” 

Jungkook chuckles, and you’re sure it only sounds mocking to your ears because of your mixed emotions about the subject being discussed.  

“Well you just found out, right?” Jungkook interjects for you.  

“Oh, yeah,” you say. “The other day, like Yeonwoo said.” 

Jungkook hums, quirking an eyebrow at you as he crumples his napkin up in his hand before tossing it back on the table. Your eyes follow it as the conversation fades, replaced by the rushing in your ears suddenly. Every time you thought you could get away from talking or thinking about Taehyung, he came right back somehow to make you feel hollow all over again.  

“I’ll be back,” you say quickly, swinging your legs over the side of the bench and standing up. It feels like your limbs are buzzing with energy, and you walk away from the table before anyone can ask where you’re going.  

The sun is setting now, and the proximity of the waterfront to the food cart is reachable in just a short walk from the table. You head over, sitting down on a bench and pulling out your phone. No one at the table seems to be suspicious of your exit except for Jungkook, who quickly looks back at you over his shoulder for a second before returning to the conversation.  

You pull up Instagram—a coping mechanism and an anxiety booster at once—and type in the familiar characters of Taehyung’s username before clicking on his profile. There’s nothing new on his story or Yeseul’s and so you head back to your home screen. At the top, there is a list of people who have recently updated their stories, with Jungkook being the first.  

You click on it, seeing that it was just posted within the last minute or so, and a picture of two hands clasped tightly pops up. You look up at the table where your friends sit, watching Jungkook show Yeonwoo the picture to which she gives him a shy smile, shaking her head at how cheesy it is.  

It is cheesy, but it’s also cute. It makes a sad feeling stir within you, one that makes you wish you had someone to post cheesy pictures of—and although Hongbin sits just a few feet away from you, conversing with your friends in your absence, you know deep down you don’t want it to be with him.  

No, your mind stays—as always—fixated on the one person you can’t have, the one person who doesn’t want you anymore, the one person who you waited too long to realize you had, and then they were gone for good. It’s pathetic, really. The way your eyes dare to prick again at just the thought of him.  The way mentioning him makes you remember every good thing about him and why you were so hooked on him all these years—it had nothing to do with the physically exciting details of your secret relationship. You were just in love with him, plain and simple.  

Always had been, it seemed.