#also i think it would be really cool if he and myles were both driving in indycar

[winnerkirkwood]

also i hate all the will power retiring rumors

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL’s 2020 NFL Season Week 11 Extravapalooza

Holy moly, we’ve already made it to Week 11. I’m honestly conflicted over whether or not this is a good thing. In terms of basic pandemic mitigation practices, the NFL conducting its season is fucking insane. These guys are all well-compensated pros, but they’re still taking risks well above and beyond what they normally do, and I truly feel pretty shitty about that. In addition, the fact that some stadiums are allowing thousands of fans inside during games is a crime against humanity, and it really lays bare how craven and sociopathic the ghouls who own sports franchises are. 

With that said, it’s extremely hypocritical of me to be so disdainful of the NFL’s current existence, since I watch the games, set my fantasy lineup, and generally enjoy all the stuff that comes with an NFL season. I usually bristle and roll my eyes whenever a sporting entity trots out the whole “We feel like we’re helping society by providing a distraction from everything going on” line, but in this case, with where we are right now as a country...the NFL really is doing that. For me, anyway. Is the stress-relief that the NFL provides to me and millions of other people worth all the bad stuff that comes with it? I don’t know. Probably not. But, I’d be lying if I said I’m not thankful that it’s there.

My picks are in BOLD, and the lines come to us courtesy of our friends at Vegas Insider. I use the “VI Consensus” line, which is the line that occurs most frequently across Vegas Insider’s list of sportsbooks. Your sportsbook of choice may offer a different number, and if you’d like my opinion on said number A) you are insane, and B) leave a comment below and I’ll try to answer at some point before things kickoff today.

EARLY GAMES

Tennessee Titans at Baltimore Ravens (-6)

It’s odd to have a game between a pair of 6-3 teams widely considered contenders that feels like a “must win” for each scuffling side. A great man once said “Desperation is a stinky cologne,” and the Titans absolutely reek coming into this one, so I’m giving them the edge. Baltimore being down two starting defensive linemen when Derrick Henry comes to town also factors into my pick, but nobody wants to hear that nerd shit, gotta go with my GUT, baby!

Philadelphia Eagles at Cleveland Browns (-2.5)

Hey, Cleveland doesn’t have to play in the middle of a tornado this week! There will still be driving rains, though. Fortunately, the Browns are built for the slop. RBs Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt are both ridiculous, but I’d like to give a special shoutout to G Wyatt Teller, who is currently Pro Football Focus’ highest-graded player...in the entire NFL. That’s some grade A beef! DE and straight-up superhuman Myles Garrett is out for this one, which is an enormous blow for the Cleveland defense. If I had any confidence whatsoever in Carson Wentz I’d think about taking Philly, but that young man is a mess.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-10.5) at Jacksonville Jaguars

I’m once again betting on the Steelers playing down to the level of their competition. The Jags kept things close against the Packers last week, there’s fight in them thar cats.

Cincinnati Bengals at Washington Football Team (-1.5)

I’m still extremely nervous for Alex Smith the entire time he’s on the field, but I have to admit there’s something magical about him making it all the way back to being exactly as Alex Smith-y as he was before (minus the scrambling ability, obviously). Washington RB J.D. McKissic has 16(!) catches on 29(!!) targets over the two games Smith has started. If this continues J.D. is going to owe Alex a cut of his next contract, and possibly the mineral rights to his legs if the need arises.

Today is Cincy RB Gio Bernard’s birthday, so LOOK OUT LADIES!

Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints (-3.5)

I’m making this pick based on the assumption that New Orleans really does roll with Taysom Hill at QB for the entire game, because that’s what all currently available information indicates will happen. I really do wonder if that’s going to be the case, though. I’ve read a couple of things speculating that the reason Hill is starting is that if Jameis plays he’s likely to reach various incentive clauses in his contract and cost the Saints a bunch of money. That seems utterly ridiculous to me, because why the hell would you bother signing him at all if this is how you were gonna roll? Then again, I’m not a Football Man, so maybe my un-browned normie brain just doesn’t understand.

Detroit Lions (-3) at Carolina Panthers

CATFIGHT!!!

The Lions are the orange kitty in this scenario, because Matthew Stafford will be playing through a torn thumb while not having WR Kenny Golladay or RB D’Andre Swift at his disposal. 

New England Patriots (-2) at Houston Texans

The concept of an “emotional hedge,” first introduced to me by RTARL commenter Beer, is in play here. I have NO idea if the Patriots are actually decent or not, and this has all the makings of a letdown game coming off of their unexpected win over Baltimore. Reigning Defensive Player of the Year Stephon Gilmore is expected to be back for the Pats in this one, which is very nice. RB Sony Michel is also likely coming back, which could muddy the backfield and take touches away from Damien Harris, which is less nice. 

The Patriots have an atrocious rush defense, but Houston’s primary RB, Duke Johnson, is far better as a receiver than as a straight-up runner, so I’m not sure they can take advantage all that much. In addition, Duke’s receiving skills are mostly squandered because QB DeShaun Watson hates checking down and seemingly prefers to take sacks while looking for throws downfield instead. Wait, why the hell am I picking Houston here??? Is this what hedging is? I don’t like it!

LATE GAMES

New York Jets at Los Angeles Chargers (-9.5)

It feels weird to lay 9.5 points with a 2-7 team, but such is the power of the Jets’ ineptitude. To New York’s credit, they were competitive in two of their last three games (against NE and BUF), but those two games were sandwiched around a 35-9 beatdown at the hands of Kansas City. We would all feel better if the cool, young Chargers steamrolled these sad sacks in a joyous explosion of big plays, and this pick is my attempt at speaking it into existence. 

Miami Dolphins (-3.5) at Denver Broncos

I don’t know why I have an affinity for Drew Lock, but I do. He probably appeals to the same part of my brain that delights in terrible movies and horrible jokes, which is the most backhanded compliment I have ever given anyone in my entire life. Drew's gonna tough it out and try to play through a rib injury this week, which is gutty and admirable and all that, but I can’t imagine it’s going to help his already shaky accuracy.

Green Bay Packers at Indianapolis Colts (-1.5)

The Packers are getting their best defensive player back in CB Jaire Alexander, which will make life more difficult for increasingly-noodle-armed Colts QB Philip Rivers. Conversely, Indy’s defense is among the best in the league, so I don’t really see a carnival of offense coming from the Packers, either. Honestly, this should be a close, well-played game between two exceedingly competent squads. The kind of game where there will be long stretches where nothing major happens, but you can point out random shit that happens away from the ball and talk about line play and really sound like you know what the fuck you’re talking about. A tremendous game for fraudulent football-knowers everywhere.

Dallas Cowboys at Minnesota Vikings (-7)

It would be an INCREDIBLY Vikings move to lose this game outright. The return of Andy Dalton is being treated like it’s something that’ll get the Cowboys somewhat back on track, but prior to his injury he looked like crap, so I don’t really know where that’s coming from. Also, while he was out with a concussion he had a bout with COVID-19 that “hit him hard.” It’s tough for me to imagine he’s going to play BETTER coming out of what sounds like a truly shitty few weeks.

SNF: Kansas City Chiefs (-7.5) at Las Vegas Raiders

A lot has been made about how pissed Kansas City is about the Raiders taking a supposed “victory lap” in their team bus around the Arrowhead parking lot after their win over the Chiefs earlier in the season, and I’m choosing to completely buy into this narrative because it’s fucking hilarious. If K.C. has already reached the “needing to exaggerate/outright invent slights to get up for regular season games against inferior opponents” portion of their reign, we’re in great shape for entertainment purposes going forward.

MNF: Los Angeles Rams at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-4)

I don’t remotely trust Jared Goff against Tampa Bay’s defense. I do think this is probably our SMASHMOUTH NOSEBLEED GRIND IT OUT Game of the Week, and I can already see Tom Brady screaming at his offensive linemen at some point after he gets popped a couple of times during a single possession. Should be fun!

Last Week’s Record: 7-5-1

Season Record: 65-68-5

[xjoiexgabriel]

Meet the Parents }} Vabe

Who: Gabe Beiste and @vincechambers

When: 11/8

Where: Joie University and South Haven, MI

What; Gabe meets the Chambers (tw: mentions of abuse)

Vince finished up making himself look presentable after he had worked out and showered. Vince smiled reading the text from Gabe and made his way out to find the other on campus. He made his way towards the most common areas someone would be, keeping his eye out for Gabe and Myles.

Gabe had text his boyfriend, waiting for him with Myles. the little boy was getting better at walking and he wanted him to practice more on something that wasn't carpet or linoleum. Seeing Vince, he waved him over.

Vince finally spotted Gabe and waved back, making his way over to the other. "Hey!" he said, leaning down to kiss him. "And hello to you too." He said tapping Myles' nose with a smile on his face.

Gabe kissed him back. Once he had greeted Myles, Gabe pulled Vince to him. "Hey so I was thinking... What would you think about a road trip this weekend?"

Vince wrapped an arm around the other and shrugged some. "I wouldn't mind that. Where were you thinking of going?"

"Maybe to New York... Or to see your family. " Gabe shrugged, nuzzling his cheek softly.

Vince smiled a little and looked up to him. "You'd want to drive to Michigan to meet my family?"

"Yeah, I would. I think since we're planning our future they should know me and meet your future step son. " Gabe sucked his lip nervously.

Vince grinned a little listening to him. "Can we drop the step and just say son?" he asked, running his hand along Myles' head gently.

Gabe smiled, kissing him. "Yeah, I think we can do that. " He whispered, kissing him once more.

Vince kissed him back before smiling at him. "Then we'll head up to Michigan." He told him before looking to Myles again. "We'll need to get him some more cold weather stuff too. Mom said it's only going to be in the 20s this coming week."

Gabe grinned, nodding. "I think I can handle that unless you want to come along and all. I'm kind of excited to meet your family. "

"Of course i'm coming along." He laughed, nudging him gently. "Is that all you called me \all the way over here for?" he teased.

"Well, yes. I wanted to see you and Myles needs to practice walking on grass... Plus if we're going. We need to get things together and maybe we'll stop on the way for warmer clothes? " Gabe suggested.

Vince hummed a little before nodding a little. "How's he doing on the grass?" he asked curiously. "And yeah, we can pack stuff up and head out and stop to get some stuff on the way."

"He's falling some but he's getting better. Just got to let him do it. " Gabe smiled, watching Myles stand again and toddle along. "He got some warm stuff so I'll pack that." Running over, Gabe scooped his son up and smiled to his boyfriend. " Let's go pack. "

Vince smiled watching Myles, making sure he didn't toddle off too far from them. Vince got up and nodded his head, holding his hands out to Myles. "Sounds good to me."

The three of them made their way to the frat. Gabe got himself packed for the weekend then packed up some more things for Myles so he was ready for anything. "Hey babe, I found some good snow gear for Myles so I think we're good on that front." Calling out as he finished backing everything in one suitcase for both of them.

Vince walked back with him and up to his own room where his winter stuff was still. He came back down to help since he knew it would take Gave a little longer with Myles. “Oh good, are we all set then!”

Gabe had just finished changing Myles and putting him into some pajamas. "I'm pretty sure that he'll be asleep when we get there. Do you want to tell your parents were on the way?" Picking Myles up and putting the boy on his hip as he grabbed the backpack, his luggage bag and the portable crib. "Well I know its a lot but we need it." He chuckled.

Vince nodded, sending a text to his mom letting her know. “I know we need it but I also don’t need you dropping him. Let me take some.” Vince said, grabbing the luggage bag and crib for him.

Gabe chuckled some then handed it over. The walk to his vehicle wasn't far and soon they were loaded up and everyone strap in for the ride. Gabe had given Myles a bottle for this part of the drive. "So its about an 8 hour drive right? So we'll get there around 10?" He asked as he pulled out and hit the freeway.

Vince packed everything in the back before climbing into the passenger seat. “Between here and South Haven?” He asked before shaking his head. “Only about 4 and a half  hours depending on traffic.” He said, reaching out for the other’s hand.

"Oh okay, I wasnt sure. " Gabe taking his hand as they drove. "So what did your mom say about us coming? I'm kind of nervous to meet them and what they'll think about me and having a kid and all. "

Vince pulled his phone out to look at the text again. “And I quote, ‘Oh Vincey I’m so happy to hear you’re coming home for the weekend. Dad and I can’t wait to meet Gabe and his little guy. See you all soon.’ So she’s excited about it.” He laughed.

"Well okay, that's good. " Gabe kissing his hand and checking the mirror to see that Myles was asleep already. "Gotta keep up the walking, seems to really tire him out. "

Vince turned around to look at Myles and smiled seeing him. “Didn’t even finish his bottle he was so tired.” He said, turning back around with a smile on his face still.

"Yeah, I think its the upside to all of it. He's going to start getting better which means we have to watch him more but at the same time, he's going to be very tired." Gabe chuckled a bit. "So anything I need to know about your family before we get there? What do they know about me?"

Vince nodded along to what he was saying. "True. But I'd rather he be tired then up all night." He told him. Vince smiled a little before shrugging some. "I mean, they know how we met, they know about Myles. They know you play football and baseball with me."

"So nothing about my past and all? Just wondering." Gabe shrugged. He was a bit worried as to how they'd react about his trans father but that wasn't something he was going to focus on right now. "Did you tell them I seduced you for 2 years?" he winked.

Vince shook his head a little. "nah, I figured you'd be better at telling the story of your past when they ask you about it." Vince said, giving his hand a small squeeze. He laughed softly and shook his head some. "Nope. definitely didn't say that to them."

"So they don't know how much we messed around before we got together?" gabe wiggling his brow to him then smiling even more. "I'll have to make sure to tell them...kidding baby. And yeah, I guess it is best it comes from me." With that, he focused on the road. They were getting close to Vince's when Myles woke. He moved and then starting to make noises. "I think he needs a change." Gabe pulling over, he could feel the chill as he let Vince climb into the back to change him.

Vince blushed and shook his head. "Please don't." He laughed a little. Vince kept the smile on his face as they drove. He turned his head hearing Myles waking up before nodding a little. "I got it." He said, getting out to go change the baby. He placed the dirty diaper in a plastic bag to throw out when they got to his parents' house. He got a toy out for Myles to keep him entertained before getting back in the front. "All ready again." He said.

"Thank you, babe." Gabe smiled to him, taking his hand again. "Okay, now I need you to direct me where we're going from here." They were reaching South Haven and he didn't want to get them too lost.

Vince nodded his head a little, directing him through his home town. "Alright, right up here..." He said, pointing to the driveway to his parents' house on the lake. It was a rather large, cabin looking house. "Welcome to the Chambers Residence." He smiled to Gabe.

Gabe took it all in. Now he could see that Vince came from money but it didn't bother him much. Pulling up, he parked and got out. "Well this is something." he told Vince as he grabbed Myles out and wrapped him in his wrap to make it easier to carry it all. With bags in hand, he followed Vince up to the door. "Wait....are your brother's here?"

Vince smiled, grabbing their luggage and everything else out of the car. He looked to Gabe as he wrapped Myles up before handing over his bag. "Um..." He said, looking to the cars. "Coty might be unless he just left his car here and flew somewhere else."

"Which one is that?" He whispered to him as Vince led them into the house. His nerves were high but he'd be alright as Myles 'talked' against his chest.

"He's my oldest brother. He's very free-spirited. Definitely a modern day hippie." He grinned, holding onto his hand. "MA!" He called opening the door and headed inside. Elizabeth made her way into the entrance way to greet them. "Vince!" she said, throwing her arms around her son before looking to Gabe and Myles. "and you must be Gabe and Baby Myles!" She said, hugging them carefully.

Gabe nodded some and then they were in. He could see Vince's kind eyes came from his mom. He hugged her back, nodding. "yes ma'am. Its nice to meet you, thank you for letting us come and visit."

"oh please, Call me Elizabeth." She told him before smiling to Vince. "Vince knows he's welcome home whenever he wants to. I'm just so happy he's finally foud himself a nice young man." She said, taking their bags. "I have Vince's old room all set up for you guys." She said, heading up there. Vince looked to Gabe and nodded towards the stairs, a small blush on his face. "Come on..." He whispered, heading up the stairs

Gabe smiled, even blushing as well. "Thank you Mrs...Elizabeth." He followed Vince up the stairs and to his room. "So they're cool with us sharing a bed and all the things?" he asked, though he knew they probably wouldn't do much with Myles close to the bed.

Vince nodded his head a little, giving him a smile. "Matthew, my second oldest brother, had people over all the time." He shrugged some before walking into his room. "Thanks Ma. We'll just get stuff settled and be down so you can embarrass me." He said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh okay, I just wasn't sure." Gabe wanting to make sure they really were okay with this part of them being together. "I can't wait to hear all the stories she has for me."

Elizabeth made her way back downstairs to get pictures and things sorted to show Gabe. "Babe, she loves you already." He told him seriously. "She's never told a guy to call her Elizabeth at the first meeting. She loves you." he grinned, getting Myles' play pin set up so he'd have somewhere to sleep.

"If you're sure. Sorry I've never done the meet the parents until now. " Gabe set his bag down, then pulled Myles out. "Someone is due for another change." Changing his son then grabbing some of the baby food from the bag to take down stairs with them.

Vince got things settled before opening the door to his room again. "Ready to look at what i'm sure are embarrassing photos of me?"

"Yes but first." He pulled Vince into his side and kissed him softly and slowly, smiling as Myles seemed to coo and cheer from them. Gabe even saw clapping that made him chuckle. "Okay, lets go."

Vince couldn't help but laugh a little at Myles clapping at them kissing. He ran his hand lovingly over the baby's hair before leading Gabe down the stairs. "Alright..." he said, taking a seat in the living room, seeing all the albums out already. Elizabeth made her way back in with a tray holding mugs. "I made hot cocoa." she said setting the tray down on the empty spot on the coffee table. "I'm just so happy you three are here. And Myles is adorable. May I hold him?"

Gabe followed and sat, pulling Myles out and letting him sit on his knee. "Thank you Elizabeth, I'm happy to be here and to meet you as well. Oh sure." Gabe set Myles down, letting his son walk towards her. "We're trying to encourage him to walk more then be carried."

Vince grabbed for a cocoa for himself before sitting back on the couch. He smiled watching the interaction between his mom and Gabe and Myles. "Oh look how cute!" She said, seeing Myles walking towards her. "Hello sweetheart!" She said, picking him up to sit on her lap. "So I thought maybe we could go through some pictures so Gabe can see what you were like as a little guy."

Gabe looked to Vince then smiled. "Only if you want to, I mean i can picture it and he told me about his speech thing with he was young too."

Vince motioned to the pictures, knowing better than to deny his mom this moment. "You couldn't understand a word he was saying." Elizabeth laughed, holding Myles as she leaned to get the first book and handed it to Gabe to flip through.

Gabe took the book though he watched his son as well. He was overprotective and he did trust her, just wasn't too sure how Myles would take it. So far he was doing okay so Gabe started to flip through it a bit. "Is that you?" He turned to Vince.

Vince sipped on his cocoa before leaning up to look at the picture Gabe was pointing at. He laughed a little and nodded. "Yeah. Zack was being mean to me." He said, pointing to his brother who was closest in age to him in the picture.

Gabe chuckled, going through them all. It was quite something to see, seeing him so young and quite the little ball player. "You loved the Cubs even then huh?" he grinned.

Vince grinned proudly at him and nodded. "Of course I did." Vince said, giving his mom a smile. "I'm working on converting Gabe to a Cubs fan." He explained. Elizabeth smiled watching them, her attention going between them and Myles. "Sweetheart, you can't force everyone to love the same things you do."

"Yeah, it wont happen. My dad is a coach for the Seahawks and I'm a good old Seattle sports boy but its okay, I think it will be fun for us to have rival teams at times." Gabe closing that book and leaning over to give Vince a quick kiss.

Vince rolled his eyes a little at the two of them. He kissed him back before grabbing the next book for them to go through. "I'll end up being the only person in Seattle rooting for Chicago things." He laughed.

"Hmm well i think you might get Myles to cheer for both until he sees how good Seattle is." Gabe winked and sat back to look at the book with Vince now.

Vince shook his head a little "you mean until he sees how good Chicago is." he grinned back at him before glancing to his mom. She smiled at the two, nodding towards the book in their hands. "That's a good one. That one is all of Vince before he turned two."

"So this is going to have the bathtub pictures?" Gabe smirked and started to look. He heard Myles start to whine some and he looked back to him. His brow furrowed then he smiled as he got into the bag he brought down. Pulling out a container of yogurt bites, he handed it to Elizabeth. "Its almost his dinner time."

"Bathtub pictures as well as his phase of never wanting to wear clothing." She grinned proudly at the fact she took all those pictures. Elizabeth looked to Myles before grabbing the yogurt bites. "Is someone hungry?" She asked in a higher pitched voice, opening the can and poured some out in her hand for Myles to pick one.

Gabe chuckled some. "Well I don't think he's grown out of that one." Winking to Vince. He looked through it then kissed Vince's cheek as he looked over to Elizabeth and Myles together.

Vince's cheeks immediately turned bright red. He nudged him before looking away to hide the blush from his mom. "Oh Sweetheart, believe me... I know how boys work. There are four of you." She rolled her eyes playfully.

Gabe chuckled, turning Vince's face back and stealing a longer kiss. "These were cute, thank you for letting me see them. It gives me a good idea of just how cute kids could be in the future."

Vince made a face at him after the kiss. "Well duh." He laughed a little before sitting back with his mug again. "He should probably eat something more than just the yogurt bites, Ma. You're gonna have to give him over." He said, knowing how his mom was.

Gabe nodded some. "Yeah, I think I need to feed him." Reaching out to take Myles and sitting him on his lap. "Where is the dining table and kitchen?" Looking between the two of them.

Elizabeth frowned but understood, handing Myles over. "Just through that archway, sweetie." She said, pointing to the room behind them.

"Thank you." With his son on his hip, Gabe carried him off. He warmed up some dinner for him and sat Myles on the table to eat so Gabe could feed him easier. He grinned as his son took bites and made faces to him.

Vince sat with his mom, talking about things while Gabe fed Myles. Elizabeth eventually got up and made her way into the dining room. "So, Vince is pretty quiet about things normally. He hasn't really told me much about you other than the sports things..." She said, sitting next to Gabe so Myles would keep his focus on his dad.

Gabe smiled to her, then nodded some. "Yeah, its understandable why he might do that. So what would you like to know?" Finding it easier to have them ask question rather then just give out information right away.

"Well you said your dad is the coach for Seattle. Did you grow up there? Tell me about your childhood and stuff." Elizabeth said, leaning against the table to look at him better.

Gabe scoffed for a moment. "You dont want to know my childhood. It's not something anyone would ever want to know..." he looked to her as Myles finished eating. "Just give me a moment." Picking up Myles, he took him to Vince as Vince knew the routine and then went back to the kitchen. "My childhood involved a lot of abuse to myself, my younger bother and my mom. My dad, he's still alive but we haven't seen him since we were young. Mom finally left him and he moved on with the woman he was cheating on her with. Then when i was about 12, my mom became my dad. The one thats the coach."

Vince took Myles as Gabe brought him back, going to get him ready for bed. Elizabeth stayed at the table while Gabe came back after handing his son off. She frowned listening to his story. "I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through that. No one should have to go through that." She said softly to him. Elizabeth leaned her head to the side, trying to follow along still. "So your dad is transgender? I just want to make sure I'm following corrently." She said, giving him a smile.

"My sperm donor is gone and yes, the dad I refer to is trans. His name is Sheldon Beiste." Gabe smiled a bit. "I know no one should have to go through what we did but its what I went through, I'm just never going to let that be something that Myles ever has to be around."

Elizabeth nodded, giving him a soft smile. "Well I think you've turned out to be a wonderful man. Your dad did an amazing job raising you. Especially under the circumstances he was going through." She told him seriously. "I've honestly never seen Vince this happy about something that wasn't baseball related."

Gabe smiled. "I should give you his number if you want to ever talk to him. I know he'd love to meet you and your husband." Hearing her talk about Vince and him, he blushed now. "We've kind of been dancing around this for a couple years. Never really worked out until now and now...I never want to let him go. I mean I know we've been together a short time but I've never felt before what I do with him."

Elizabeth nodded with a smile. "I would love to meet your dad and get to know him as well!" She told him before smiling at the blush. "Oh really? Vince never mentioned you two being a thing before." She told him before smiling more. "All I ask is that you don't hurt him. He's fallen hard for you if he's agreed to a weekend here with you."

"Yeah? Okay, I'll give you his number before we leave." Gabe smiled to her. "Sorry I didn't mean to embarrass you...but yeah, we knew each other outside of sports." He blushed more now. "He's not alone in that, I wouldn't want him around Myles if I thought it wasn't going to be a bigger thing then just dating.

"oh no, sweetheart, you didn't embarrass me at all." Elizabeth told him seriously. "I'm really glad that you two have found each other." she said with a smile on her face. "And please, make yourself at home while you're here."

"Thank you." Gabe hugging her for a moment. "Umm where is Mr. Chambers?" Looking around a bit. "I thought I would have met him by now or is he still at work? "

"you're welcome." She said, returning the hug.  She looked at the clock before nodding. "He doesn't get home until 11 tonight so he'll be here in a couple of hours. He's in the ER today."

Oh right, he was a doctor. "Oh okay. Well if you excuse me, I want to check to see Myles isnt giving Vince to hard of a time. He's only 9 months but he's got an attitude." Gabe smiled to her before leaving the room and making his way up the stairs to Vince's room.

"Of course. And if you two are hungry, kitchen is open." She told him. Vince was sitting in his room with Myles. He was sitting on the floor playing with the different toys they brought for him. He knew Myles was still too little to understand, but Vince would pick up a block and tell him the color of it just to get him used to learning things.

"You know he does understand that. They start to comprehend when they're about his age. He can even start putting toys away at one and by one he should be able to tell us some body parts." Gabe coming to sit with Vince on the floor. "Did he do okay in the bath for you?"

Vince looked back hearing Gabe before smiling. "I know, but it's never too early to start." Vince told him before handing Myles the block in his hand. "Thank you." He said as Myles passed one to him. He smiled and nodded at Gabe. "Yep! We had a fun time taking a bath tonight. We played with the duckies, right?" He asked Myles with a smile.

Gabe smiled to see them like this. "Your mom was very serious with me about not breaking your heart and I did tell her about our 2 years together." Nudging him some as he made a face at his son.

Vince glanced back to Gabe and hummed a little. "What'd she say?" he asked softly before setting the blocks down. "May I have one please?" he asked, holding his hand out to Myles to see if he'd actually do it.

Myles picked up the block and handed it to Vince but then took it back and gave it back to him again. "Told you, he understands. And she said she didnt know but was happy we found each other." Gabe replied.

Vince gasped playfully as Myles took it back before holding onto it once he finally gave it to him. "Thank you." he said with a smile. He turned his head to Gabe again and smiled listening to him. "I told you she'd like you."

"Yeah, yeah." Looking at the clock, he looked at his son. "it is bed time for little man." Picking him up and setting him in his play pen, Gabe laid him on his stomach as he rubbed his back and Myles sucked on his bottle a bit. "Lights babe, and remember we need some sort of nightlight on too."

Vince nodded a little, getting up to get the lights. He pointed to the wall next to Myles' play pen. "Got it covered already." He said with a smile before turning the light off so Gabe could see the nightlight turn on.

"Thank you, I love you." Gabe whispered to him as he still rubbed his son's back. Soon though the boy faded to sleep and Gabe removed his hand from his back. "He's out. So what should we do until its our bed time?" he smirked to Vince.

Vince smiled listening to him. "I love you too." He told him softly. He watched the other as best he could in the dark before shrugging. "I could show you around if you want? I don't know how tired you are."

"I was thinking other things but sure, show me around." Gabe's hand slipping into Vince as they quietly left the room. He knew Myles would be okay for a bit, he didn't tend to wake up right after he fell asleep.

Vince took his hand and shrugged. "I figured that's not that you meant but I don't want to wake up Myles and I'd feel awkward doing that here." He admitted, grabbing the baby monitor and put it in his pocket as they walked out of the room. "I'll show you around outside completely tomorrow. But maybe we can cuddle by the fireplace out on the porch? I know it's chilly so we can get a blanket and the fire will keep us warm."

"Hmm I know you do but I will demand I get to at least make out with you in nothing." Gabe wiggled his brow a bit and walked along with him. He was thankful they were still dressed for being outside as they walked. "So do you think your brother or your dad will give me the full "Hurt him I kill you" talk?"

Vince rolled his eyes a little, giving his hand a squeeze. "It's a good thing my door locks." He said with a smile. Vince shrugged a little. "I don't think Coty's actually here or he would have made himself known. Mom probably drove him to the airport so eh didn't have to leave his car there. Dad on the other hand... he might." He said. "But he's harmless."

Gabe winked. "Very good then. I mean, I can't help it plus your mom just said you've always liked to be naked." He teased with him. "Well my dad gave you that talk, I think I can handle your dad's version."

"oh my gosh, shut up." He said, his cheeks turning red again. Vince lead him out to the porch and turned the fireplace on before resting on the couch out there. "I'm sure dad's will be just like yours was for me."

"Oh no I will never shut up, you have to make me." Sitting by him at the fireplace. "So it will be a lot of bluffing and threats that are semi untrue?" He chuckled, pulling Vince in close. "Still waiting for you to shut me up." he whispered to him, then kissed behind his ear.

Vince nodded his head with a smile. "He's definitely all bark and no bite." He told him, watching the fire. He hummed a little at the kiss behind his ear before turning his head to kiss him gently.

Gabe gladly took the kiss. He smiled against Vince's lips and cupped his cheek all the while. He could get use to this, the idea of them in their own house, cuddling by a fire.

Vince sighed into the kiss. He pulled back after a moment and smiled at him. "Love you." He whispered before resting his head on Gabe's shoulder to watch the fire.

"Love you too." His head resting on Vince's as they sat there. "Vince....I want to marry you some day." The words fell so easily from his lips and he didn't even pull away because in that moment, Gabe knew it was exactly what he was feeling.

Vince pulled the blanket up a little, just watching the fire. He smiled hearing him, moving his hand to hold onto Gabe's. "I can't wait for that day to happen." He responded back to him, giving his hand a squeeze.

Gabe looked down at their hands, grinning. It wasn't a proposal but it was a promise. Even though it was early it was one promise he knew he'd keep. So slipping his plain silverband from his finger he slipped it onto Vince's right hand. "I promise." he whispered to him.

Vince looked up at him before he looked down to his hand with a smile. "I'm holding you to that." He said, looking to the ring now on his own finger instead of Gabe's. He leaned up and kissed the other's chin before turning slightly to cuddle into his side.

[finderskeepersff]

4. Part 2

I am so confused, what the fuck just happened. Did some guy do it to her because I will get him for her, I can’t get no answers because it’s like of course I’m an outsider. I am so confused, I honestly don’t know what to do with this. The club is still going but there is a slight commotion around, who the fuck do I ask “what happened!?” Myles said in my ear “I don’t know, I came here and like Sofia is walking to the back with blood from her head, I don’t know. I feel like it’s my fault now, she wanted me. Like maybe I took too long? I don’t know” Myles side eyed me “superman took too long?” Hitting his stomach shaking my head “so she is hurt?” Nodding my head “nobody will say anything to me, I mean nothing to her. Just the dude that had sex with her” I shrugged “hold the fuck up!! What!? Since when? How!?” Rubbing my face, I did forget that Myles doesn’t know about this “it doesn’t matter, just need to find out Myles, just hold the thought and I will get back to you” patting his shoulder as I walked off, I’m going to ask the bouncer. He has just come out from back, they have closed off the stairs now, how the hell they going to get these people out “aye!” Shouting at the bouncer, waving him over. He better bring his ass here, he knows he on our payroll too, the bouncer waved at me to come over. Walking over to him “Tay right!?” I shouted over the music “what’s up?” He asked “you know, what happened? Is she ok?” He shook his head “all we know is she fell down those steps, she got up. But now she keeps on falling in and out of conscious but paramedics are there with her. She’s a fighter, we going to see who did it or did she get pushed” Nodding my head “which hospital?” I asked “Tisch” least I know where she will be.

Shit is blowing my mind or maybe I am too high, I was right there and she said she wanted to speak to me. How can that happen from where I was to then, that quickly. I mean she could have just fallen, an accident or maybe not. It’s weighing heavy on my mind now, the boys are going home because I said I want to go home “you in deep thought?” Myles said in the drivers seat “yeah, like you shouldn’t be driving but you are. You are drunk slightly” I chuckled, I just realised that “ok, but I ain’t that drunk to forget about you saying you had sex with Sofia? Nigga, what the fuck?” Shaking my head laughing “you really ain’t that drunk then, erm well, it happened. Hand on my heart Myles, I was going to leave it, she is a good girl and I was like I can’t be doing that, we spoke and I was like nah. She invited me to have sex, I mean like not a formal invite but she was like fuck it, she was angry to find out about Celine and Jordan. Her P is good, I’m hooked. I mean I’m hooked in general but I’m just thinking. She wanted me to talk to me about something, the look on her face, like every time I seen her since. She always got that worried face. I feel like it’s my fault for being too long that she hurt herself” Myles squinted his eyes at me “hold up, you’re concerned that this random female hurt herself? Negro, chill. It’s probably nothing, she slipped because of her heel, you know women” I guess so.

Long and weird night, what a start. Hearing footsteps walking towards me, looking up and seeing Jordan awake and scurrying to go upstairs “where have you been?” I asked “just about, I’m going LA tomorrow” Nodding my head “for what exactly?” He slowly started walking up the steps “Josiah, photoshoot” I chuckled “sure, you know you’re going to get what is coming to you soon, Myles said he saw you at Paradise?” Jordan stared at me shocked a little “uh no, I went out yes but I didn’t go there” maybe Myles was so drunk “right, so you know your lady friend hurt herself?” Watching his reaction “w—what!?” He spat “I’ll go and call her” he ran off upstairs, raising an eyebrow. I mean I would be going to the hospital but ok, that little nigga is weird “oh and, some guy tried to jump me” he added but I couldn’t help but laugh, nobody likes his stupid ass. Shaking my head as I took my timberlands off, after today I’m gonna go back on the grind and get back on the streets working on those deals and those accounts, I know fiddling with people money ain’t good but it’s whatever.

Lightly opening my eyes and seeing my brother just staring at me “mom! She’s awake” lifting my head up but the pain hit me “oh my baby! She’s awake” resting my head back “don’t do any sudden movements” Mia said at the side of me, what even happened. Lifting my hand up and touching the bandage around my head “what happened?” I said groggily “well, a lot” Mia glared at me “I’m going to get a doctor to see you, be back” my mother announced, my mother is walking but ever so slowly. I’m in hospital, I sighed out heavily. I think I remember now, I do remember I was speaking to Jordan “do you not remember walking with a bloodied head?” Mia asked “no” I said confused “Sofia! What the fuck happened? You walked off, I stayed to get him. Whatever his name? Jordan did this to you” this is too much, too many questions being asked “did he fucking do this to you!? Tell me? I am so fed up, people are saying you fell” feeling a sharp pain in my stomach, I hissed in pain “he got angry, he saw me speaking to Cassius. I was going to walk off, I saw you both walking and he pushed” Mia eyeballed me “are you fucking with me? Are you one hundred percent about that?” Nodding my head “just need pain killers, my stomach is hurting me and my head” the door opened “Miss Bundy, so good to see you awake. We need to speak, are you ok for your mother to be here? This is very important” what is happening to me “erm can Mia be here?” The doctor nodded his head “mom, we can speak after” I feel like shit “will be back baby” I remember, he said to me why, it had to be him.

The doctor sat down “any discomfort? We did a scan of your head, nothing is damaged. You will feel slightly confused. You have a few scrapes on your face but do you feel anything else” he asked “my stomach” I said in a whisper “right, you fell face forward, were you aware of being pregnant?” My mouth fell open “excuse me? I am on the pill, I am not that. No way” is he crazy, shaking my head as I looked up at Mia “right, Miss Bundy. We took you in and you were bleeding from your vaginal area, I’m sorry, I understand you wasn’t aware but you are going through a miscarriage. We did tests, we couldn’t work out why you was bleeding but you was around two going on three weeks, the foetus didn’t have a chance” my eyes welled up “wait” I said, I feel so numb “I’m….” I dragged “I’m having a miscarriage?” I breathed out “this is not right, I am on the pill” this is wrong “women have been pregnant and have been taking the pill still, it won’t harm the child. I am so sorry Miss Bundy, you must have made the simple mistake of missing one tablet” a sob left my lips, I was pregnant.

Staring ahead of me in silence, I don’t want to hear a single thing. I am mourning a child I never knew about, a baby that got taken away. Is this normal, I am in shock. Words can’t even leave my lips, I am losing a baby. Why is happening to me “you’re hurting my heart Sofia” Shaking my head wiping the tears that fell, I can’t even deal anymore. How did I not know I was pregnant, how did I not feel that inside of me. I mean I am having the pill so how, why, what “Grace, I don’t want to be rude but I really need to speak to Sofia on her own” I bought this on myself “I did it to myself” I said aloud, I did “shut up! You did not!” Mia shouted at me “I want to know what is happening?” I can’t believe this “I want an explaination when I’m back” it’s not the fact I was, it’s more the fact I lost it. Everything hurts, the door closed “the baby was his then? Cassius?” I don’t even want to think about it “there is nothing there now, nobody else I had sex with” I shook my head as tears fell.

Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I am tired as shit “Cassius the great!” my sister shouted behind me as I jogged down the steps “Jasmine the joker, you good? Happy New Year young one” pushing my hair down as I made my way to the kitchen area “mom!” Jasmine jumped on my back “I am so happy you’re back around now!” she squeezed her arms around my neck tightly “he is not a toy and morning, you not running too?” my mom said “running? Where too?” letting Jasmine get on the ground, her short self “Josiah and Jordan left for LA so early” letting out an oh, now I remember. My burner phone started ringing “breakfast please” I said as I answered my phone “you need a wife for this” smiling as I walked off “negro, we need to move some weight. We need to use your car, also we need some deals” Keeis said down the phone “cool, I’m up for it. I just need to see someone first, call me in like two hours. I will be ready” I need to see Sofia, I remember the bouncer telling me where she at, I want to know if she is ok.

I am like walking to this hospital not knowing what the fuck I am doing, I only know Sofia and that is it “how can I help you sir?” the receptionist asked “well, it’s a difficult one. I only remember a name, she’s called Sofia. It was last night and she got taken from Paradise club” I have no idea what else to say “ok, this is will be difficult. Who are you to her?” biting on my bottom lip thinking “cousin, like a brother to her” I lied, what else can I say “well I can see here, she is on the third floor. Room four, you may need to buzz in, just follow where it says head injury” nodding my head, hand on my heart I am confused why I am here but I am. I feel like she needed help and I wasn’t there, I feel very bad about this. Her friend was pushing me to go quicker, I don’t know. I just can’t shake it off, I need to just see what it was and how I can help. I hope she is ok, I should have asked at the desk and see if she is ok and not in no coma.

I quickly walked behind the nurse as she walked in, I don’t need to buzz in now. I don’t really want to be explaining myself at the moment about shit. Seeing the sign that says head injury, it should be here then. Stuffing my hands in my pockets as I walked the hallways, hospitals are creepy as shit. I mean it seems weird that I am here when I don’t need to be, I don’t know what is happening to me at all. Maybe it’s god leading me, my mind is like what the fuck am I doing. Seeing room four, what if her family are in this but I am here now. Knocking on the door and pushed the door open slowly, poking my head through. All eyes on me, see I shouldn’t have come. Two police officers, I know these two “Cassius Warren, didn’t know you got out?” Stuart got up from the chair “I am out” this is awkward “keeping out of trouble or you’re here to clean up your mess?” he’s a dickhead “not really, I am just here to see a friend” he laughed “ok Cassius, I guess I got to keep an eye on you again” out of every person in this world it had to be him, the second officer got up. Stepping inside “Sofia, we will review CCTV footage and be back” putting my head down letting them go by “who are you!?” some kid said “Leyton, come here” looking up at her friend “who are you?” I am guessing that is her mother “a friend” finally seeing Sofia, she looks bad. Putting my head down, she must be pain.

Rubbing my chin as her mother left, she is glaring at me in hate and I ain’t do anything “I know you thinking why I am here, I am thinking the same thing too but I feel bad. I don’t know why but I had to come and see if you was ok, if there was something I can do?” I felt the need to explain myself “you can go and kill your fucking brother. I am after his fucking blood! He did this to her, he!” Sofia’ friend said in my face “I am so angry!” I am so confused “what do you mean? How did he do this?” looking at Sofia, walking around her friend “I don’t want to talk about it, I am sick of thinking about it” she ain’t wrong, she must be fed up “then let me know what I can do for you, that day you was outside my home? Did he do something to you then?” she nodded her head “I wanted you to help me, Jordan was scaring me that he was going to hurt my family. He saw me speak to you, I went to where the steps were, I went up because I was like you was taking time” she shook her head as she cried “he gripped my arms, dragged me against the wall. He said what did you say to him, did I tell you what he was like with me. I touched you, he went crazy on me. People walked by so he moved his hand, I said fuck you I am done. I walked down the stairs, I prayed you or Mia would be there. He gripped me from behind, he said in my ear about he will kill me if I am near you again. I tried looking and it’s like nobody helped me, I was on my own” Sofia shook her head “I can’t do this, I don’t want to speak about it anymore” I am in shock, I mean my brother is evil but being like this.

Rubbing my face “I am sorry, I mean very sorry. Why didn’t you tell me that day? I was stood there? No man should do that, why didn’t you say? I am not blaming you, I am sorry. I wasn’t there. He’s gone LA” getting up from the chair “there is something else she needs to say” Mia said “I don’t, I just need time. I can’t think anymore” I am so angry “don’t worry, my brother won’t harm you again. I will get him, get better” this is all so much for me, I am seething in anger. He was really out here harming a female, who does that. Walking out of the room, breathing out feeling anger inside me. I was going to walk off but I didn’t, I turned around and walked back in the room “I will give you my number, if you ever need me. I will be there for you. I am sorry this happened to you, I will give you space” I am actually going to get his ass beat, the lying motherfucker “I just need to rest, I’ve heard so much. But don’t feel bad” holding my phone out to Mia “yeah, you didn’t know but this number will be handy” staring at Sofia, her head is down all defeated, I fucking hate my brother. I guess being lowkey ain’t working, he ass needs to be taught a lesson, maybe being locked away like me will do his ass but not before I beat his ass myself “Like, you not going to say it?” Mia said to Sofia “shut up!” Sofia half shouted, I better leave her be.

[jewelofwakanda]

French Inhale

Okay. Disclaimer: This is my first ever Black Panther Fan fiction. I was inspired by all the amazing fics I’ve come across the past couple of weeks. I hope you guys like it and please please please give me some feedback. It would be really appreciated. This is probably a one shot, but I have a few ideas brewing on how to expand. Either way, I hope you guys enjoy.

Words: 4,032...yeah I know, kind of long. Erik’s dialogue is in bold and our reader is in bold italics. I hope that helps to differentiate between the two.

Black, Plus-size Reader X Erik Stevens have a smoke session turned smut session. A little bit of choking, a lot of smuttiness (IMO). Sort of inspired by the song, “French Inhale” by Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa, & Mike Posner

You almost didn’t reply to him. You were still pissed. And, he hadn’t bothered to reach out to you in weeks when he’s the one that got caught. But, you also never turn down free weed, especially any of the high grade you knew he was offering. So, when Erik texted you, ‘Hotbox?’, you accepted and waited outside for him to come scoop you. You didn’t dare wait for him to come to the door, if he came inside, you two would never leave. You sat on your porch swing and tried to sort through your feelings before he arrived. 

You couldn’t decide if you hated or missed him. He was a violent, selfish, arrogant liar who liked to tell you he cared and then do the exact opposite. But, he was also cute. Damn that. Erik was the finest man to ever show interest in you. He was everything you had ever wanted at least in the looks department. Erik oozed confidence with his gold fangs and immaculate locs. His fashion sense was unparalleled—effortlessly couture with hip hop sensibility.  The dimples and the glasses and the way he licked his lips was everything to you. He always made fun of how shy you were when the two of you first met, but you couldn’t help yourself. 

As far as you were concerned, he was out of your league. It’s not like you were ugly, far from it. Curves in all the best places, natural curls, full lips and gorgeous brown skin, you knew you were attractive. But, a little Instagram stalking clued you in on his usual type. Models, video vixens, he even had a fling with Bria Myles. How could you compete? You didn’t ask, but you were sure you were the heaviest girl he had ever been with. Perhaps, that assumption bothered you more than it bothered him?

It didn’t help that you caught him with that high yellow heifer, her skinny chicken legs a dead giveaway that her ass had been paid for. He was leaning against the bar, drink in hand with that devilish grin as Big Bird stood with her back to you and whispered something sinful in his ear, holding onto his waist from underneath his leather jacket. He seemed really into whatever she was selling, basking in the attention, until your eyes met his. You knew he could feel your disgust from across the room, as he pushed her away and started to walk towards you, the look of defeat on her face giving you a small swell of pride but it didn’t change the fact that he was walking around acting like you weren’t in the same club as him, as if he didn’t drag you out of the house. You didn’t leave the comfort of your home to watch him flirt with other bitches like you didn’t even exist. You didn’t give him a chance to explain himself, you were already headed to the exit before he could reach you. 

He called a few times that night, sent a few apologetic text messages. Even offered to eat you out. Didn’t help. He knew you had some trust issues and promised to act accordingly, couldn’t even handle that. So, you put him on the back burner. You were cool and indifferent, responding with one-word text messages if you bothered to reply at all. That lasted for about a week before Erik stopped trying altogether. You chalked it up to the game and tried to act like you didn’t miss his company. And, even though you did, you were so used to hot relationships like this one fizzling out way before you were ready. You knew how to cope and threw yourself back into your art. You churned out piece after piece, commission after commission choosing to make that money instead of wallowing in self-pity. You were sketching with those brand-new charcoal pencils you’d splurged on when he texted you for the first time in almost three weeks. You thought about getting dressed up, reminding him what he had been missing, but decided against it. Fuck him. He didn’t deserve the time and effort it would take. He was about to get sweat pants, hair tied and no make-up and was going to like it. It wasn’t until you finally saw him pull up that you thought maybe you should’ve done more. Why did he always have to look so damn good? This wasn’t a fashion show, this was a smoke session. 

“You got A$AP Rocky dressing you or something now, nigga?”, You hollered at him as he stepped out of his Aston Martin

“We can’t all be as bummy as you are, chump.”, he shot back, holding his arms open for an embrace. 

You wanted to slap that shit eating grin off his face, but you appreciated a good roast. You had to admit that no one could keep up with you like Erik could. He kept it fun and you tried to keep it cute, but you weren’t above hitting below the belt if need be. Most guys were more sensitive than they liked to let on, getting offended at just the slightest joke at their expense, but not Erik. You guessed they weren’t used to girls like you. You rolled your eyes as he pulled you onto your feet and into his arms. He held you there for a lingering moment, your face buried in his chest, his arms planted firmly around your waist. You closed your eyes and took a long whiff of his sexy cologne. He always smelled so damn good and you loved that he was tall enough to rest his chin on top of your head. He made you feel small. He made you feel safe. And, then you remembered Big Bird. 

“I’m still mad at your thot ass.” You pushed him away from you and headed to the car. 

“I ain no thot, girl.”, He laughed, trying to look innocent.

“Could’ve fooled me, you ho.” 

“You not mad enough to not smoke this tree though, right?” 

“Nana ain raise no fool.” He chuckled hard at your comeback. 

You two bonded early on over your similar childhoods. You both lost your parents at a young age, he grew up in foster care while you were raised by your Grandmother. It was her house that you still lived in now, bought and paid for, left to you in her will after she died a few years ago. You missed her every day but felt lucky to still have her house, that way you could keep a part-time job and have plenty of time to devote to your art. 

Erik wasted no time pulling out of your driveway with a screech of the tires and heading to the 405. He wordlessly reached across you to the glove compartment and pulled out a small Louis Vuitton pouch. He tossed it in your direction and you knew exactly what to do. You unzipped the bag and found almost everything you needed to get this session started. This wasn’t the first time you and Erik smoked together. In fact, this was sort of how he courted you. You two would drive up and down L.A., smoking and laughing and connecting. At first, he tried to clown your rolling skills, but you showed him exactly who he was dealing with after that first session. 

“The fuck am I supposed to roll on, nigga?”

“Man chill out with all that.”, he replied, reaching underneath his seat for what looked like a vinyl record cover. 

“Really? You just had to get ‘Damn.’ on vinyl? You too good for Spotify, my nigga?”, you asked, incredulously. He kissed his teeth instead of answering your question. You laughed and got to work. 

“Oh, okay, E! I see some purp, and some OG Kush, and is that what I think it is?”, you could barely contain your excitement. 

“Yep. Demo called me today. Said he just got some of that LA Confidential. Just like our f—” 

“Our first session! Aww, Erik! You remembered.”, you finished his sentence, pinching his cheek from the passenger seat. He just side-eyed you from his side of the car as you laughed out loud. 

“You better quit, before I pull over.” 

“You ain gon do shhiiiittt.”, you replied, obnoxiously sticking your tongue out. 

He took one hand off the wheel to pinch an exposed thigh, hard. You could barely hold the record cover still as you dumped the weed out of the grinder and tried to squirm out of his grasp. 

“EERRIKK! QUIT! Focus on the damn road, you demon.” 

“I’m focused, trust me.”, he replied, veering around a tight corner. 

You didn’t mean to squeal, but he hit that turn with one hand on the wheel and one hand on your thigh. You thought for sure you two were going to run right into the guard rail, but he had it under control. 

“Do you have to drive like you don’t care about my life?” 

“I’m not gon keep telling you to chill out. You act like this your first time in my car.”

“I would like to hit the blunt before you kill me, if you don’t mind, thank you.”, you said scooping the weed into the pineapple cigar as you watched Erik’s speedometer. He was doing a cool 95 mph, banking around turn after turn. Thank God you had a seat belt on and a steady hand. He finally came to a screeching halt, jolting you forward as you closed the blunt, glaring in his direction. 

“Now, if I had dropped any of this LA Confidential, you woulda been mad.”

 “Nah. There’s always more where that came from.”, he answered, nonchalantly. 

You rolled your eyes at him for what had to be the 100th time since he picked you up instead of making another smart remark. He parked at your usual spot. One of those lookout points along the highway, you could see almost all of L.A. from as the sun slowly started to set. You let your seat back so that you could sit crossed legged in your seat, facing Erik with your back to the window. 

You lit the blunt and took a deep drag, letting the smoke slowly leave your mouth and inhaling it back through your nose. You did this a few times, eyes closed, head laying against the car window, letting yourself sink into your high. Your eyes snapped open when you felt Erik staring at you. 

“Umm, you supposed to be rolling, not staring.”, you reacted, a little more nervously than you intended. His eyes were locked onto you with so much lustful intent and a raised eyebrow. 

“That was sexy as fuck. You be doing that shit on purpose.”

 “What are you talking about?”, you asked, taking another drag, genuinely confused by his statement. 

“The way you French inhale. I noticed it the first time we smoked together. It’s sexy.” 

You kissed your teeth at him. “Anything and everything make you think of sex doesn’t it? I think you got a problem.” 

“Damn, a nigga can’t give you a compliment?” 

“Nope, not when you got a job to do.” He smirked at your statement. “Get your mind out the gutter, you addict.” 

“Puff, puff, pass, Frenchie.” You took one more, long toke before handing it over. You watched him inhale deeply, filling his lungs with smoke. It was amazing to watch him take in so much without ever coughing up an organ. He was a pro like that, in more ways than one. He handed the blunt back to you and continued to roll up the Granddaddy Purp. You watched him expertly handle the cigar, he was the fastest roller you had ever smoked with. He didn’t leave you any time to enjoy the one you already had in your hand before yelling “Christmas!” You took the newly rolled blunt and smoked it along with the one you had rolled earlier. 

“That’s right, you ain no amateur, huh?” 

“You know I do this, E.” , you replied. He always seemed impressed with your aptitude for Mary Jane. You told him to stop wasting his time with them lightweights, then he wouldn’t have to be so captivated. You two went back and forth like this until the LA Confidential was gone and he started to roll the OG Kush. You were basking in the foggy smoke that had filled his car, thanking God for his dark tinted windows. You were so busy zoning out that you barely noticed the mood had changed. 

“Is that ‘So Anxious’?”, you asked, instantly peeping game. 

“Yeah, what’s wrong with a little Ginuwine?”, he asked trying to appear naïve. You knew exactly where this was going. 

“Nope. You better call that low budget Cardi B cause I’m not with the shits, not today, Erik.” You were not gonna give in that easily. That nigga couldn’t really think that a couple blunts was a sufficient apology. He had some explaining to do before you were gonna let him get a piece of this again. His laughing pissed you off even more. Why couldn’t he ever take you seriously? 

“Not Cardi B. C’mon baby, I can do better than that.” Was this nigga serious?

“Apparently not. That bird was trash, but you fell right for it like all these other thirsty ass niggas.” 

“So, you mad?” 

“Nigga! IsweartagodImafuckyouup!” You didn’t mean to lose it, but he was acting so casual about this. Like it was funny, but you were genuinely irritated. Nothing bothered him and that infuriated you. He continued to snicker at you, closing the 3rd blunt and lighting it. 

You kissed your teeth, yet again, and turned your back to him, pouting out the window. “I swear, you get on my fuckin nerves.” 

“You get on mine too, but I’m still nice to you.”, he said, tapping you on the shoulder to take the newly rolled blunt. 

“I don’t need you to be nice to me, Erik.” 

“Fine, then gimme my blunt back.” 

“NAH!”, you said, hitting him with the Heisman. You didn’t mean to mush him in the face, but you did mean to laugh out loud when it happened.  He practically pounced on you, attempting to get the blunt out of your grasp. Everywhere his hands went, you managed to weasel your way out of his reach. You couldn’t tell if he was still trying to take the blunt from you or just play grab ass. He would poke and pinch and tickle you, throwing you into a fit of laughter. You wanted to be annoyed, but you were having fun. He always knew how to make you forget you were mad at him, even if it was just for a second. Before you knew it, the play fighting had stopped, and he had wrapped his arms around your waist. He had his head in the crook of your neck and was trying to pull you over to him, onto his lap. 

“Erik, what the hell are you doing?” 

“Shhh. Just come here real quick.” You already knew where this was going.

 “Do I have to put the blunt out?” 

“Nah. The blunt is a part of my apology.” You didn’t notice when he’d pushed his seat all the way back, but now there was enough room for you to sit on his lap and not be scrunched up against the steering wheel. 

“Get comfortable. You might be over here awhile.” You weren’t sure what he had in mind, but you tried to do as you were told. 

“MmmMmm, nope. Open them legs up. I know you wore them shorts for a reason.” Your heart started to beat a little faster as he took the blunt out of your hand and re-positioned you on his lap, giving him easy access to every forbidden area of your body. 

“You’ll get this back once you’re in position.”, he assured you. Your right foot landed in the middle console almost resting on the gear shift. He had your left leg draped over his knee and your head rested on his shoulder. Again, you thanked God for tinted windows, not that there was anyone else out her to see you, but Erik had your legs wide open in the front seat of his car. 

“Lemme get this off you.” he said grabbing at your Raiders hoodie from behind. You let Erik strip you, grateful for the A/C blowing, it was starting to get hot in here. 

“Can I have my blunt back please?” 

“Your blunt?”, he laughed again. “Here you little brat.” You wanted to say something smart but was caught off guard when you felt him pull your shorts and panties to the side. 

“Mmmhmm, so wet for me already.” 

“Erik—” 

“Shut up and smoke, girl. I’m busy.” And, with that Erik began to slowly stroke your exposed pussy, drenching his long fingers with your juices. You took a sharp breath in, willing yourself not to react. But, it was too late. Staring directly into your eyes, he could see you were into it. You started to rock your hips up and down, reveling in the sweet sensation of your mounting orgasm. He hadn’t even entered you yet. 

“You gon smoke that shit, or just let it burn?”, he asked. You’d almost forgotten there was a bout a gram and a half of purp burning away, but you couldn’t focus on anything more than Erik’s thick fingers rubbing at your clit. You whimpered as you tried to take a drag of the blunt and nearly choked when he decided to sink his gold fangs into the visible skin that your bra wasn’t covering. 

“Nigga?! You tryna kill me?”, you asked, trying not to gag. He only released the flesh to laugh at your reaction before placing soft kisses to the inflamed area. He might’ve broken the skin. 

“Shut up and stop complainin. You know you like that rough shit.” You didn’t want to admit it, but you did. Not too many men understood the fine line between pain and pleasure like Erik. He brought you right to the edge, dangled you over it, and dropped you at the last minute, every time. Whenever he choked, spanked, or bit you a little harder than the last, pushing you further than you knew you could go. It always hurt so good, and this time was no different.

He moved from your breast, up your neck, licking and sucking at the tender skin over your jugular vein. You knew he was leaving hickies, but you didn’t care. His tongue was starting a fire in the pit of your stomach, his hands igniting that flame as he slipped two fingers inside your dripping wet pussy. 

“Ohmygod, Erik— “, you arched your back, pushing against his long, thick fingers. He used his ring and middle finger to tell you ‘come hither’, non-verbally, the pressure reaching your g-spot faster than you expected. 

“Oooh, gahdamn baby girl. You hear that? You hear your pussy splashing on my damn fingers? You love that shit huh?” You couldn’t even reply. The pace Erik was moving at, in and out, was so intense. It was almost cruel the way he was slamming into you, bringing you close to your climax with just his hands.

His right arm was wrapped around your waist so that he could reach your clit. He began by placing his right index finger on your lips, still fingering your wet pussy with his other hand. 

“Open up.” You barely waited for his command, yearning for something of his to fill your mouth. You wrapped your hungry tongue around his finger, pretending it was his dick. You licked up and down, grazed it lightly with your teeth, let him touch the back of your throat, all while looking directly in his eyes. That index finger was a strawberry Popsicle and it was the dead of summer as far as you were concerned. And, if he wouldn’t fill your mouth with that long dick, this finger would just have to do. You both felt your pussy get wetter and wetter at your immoral display. 

“Oh yeah? that’s how you feel, baby? Well go head then.”, Erik said eyebrows raised, taking his two drenched fingers out of your pussy and placing them in your mouth. 

“You taste that? That sweet ass pussy?” You couldn’t believe how turned on you were from the taste of your own essence and were thankful that Erik had taken that right index finger and began massaging your clit softly. You weren’t prepared for how sad you were when those fingers left your mouth, finding their way under your bra, Erik grasping at your ample breast. He squeezed and pinched and tugged at your nipple, causing you to moan out his name. 

“You let the blunt go out again.” How could he think of smoking at a time like this? You were ready to drop it in the ash tray, so you could focus on the matters at hand, but Erik commanded that you light it back up. 

“If you not gon hit it, then let me. Light that shit up.” He could be so bossy, but you didn’t dare disobey fearing he would stop this lovely assault on your body. He was still vigorously rubbing your clit in a delicious circular motion when you placed the blunt at his lips and lit it. He took his left hand from under your bra and went back to attacking your pussy with both his hands, working your clit incessantly and reintroducing those two devilish fingers back into your ocean.

“Mmmhhmmm”, he signaled that he was ready to exhale, having sucked in more smoke than he needed. You snapped out of your euphoric trance to help him out just for him to sink his teeth back into your neck. 

“FUUCk. What’re you—, Erik, I-I’m—” You were so close to creaming all over his fingers when he decided to add a third. You were practically laying down on his lap now, twisting and writhing from the intensity of it all. 

“You gonna cum for me, baby girl?” he whispered to you, breathing against your ear, occasionally licking and biting at the lobe. 

“I..I..can’t”, was all you could manage. 

“Nah, I’m not even tryna hear that. I need an answer. You cummin or not?”, he demanded, picking up his pace. You couldn’t help but fuck his fingers right back, meeting him halfway. You were dripping wet, the dampness seeping through the thin cotton shorts you cursed yourself for wearing. You couldn’t help yourself anymore. 

“YES! OH MY GOD! YES! ERIK PLEASE!” 

“Please, what?” 

“Please, make me cum. I want to…to cum, now. PLEA—” He barely let you finish before he filled your mouth with his tongue and placed the hand that had been vigorously massaging your clit around your throat, firmly yet gently cutting off your air supply. He kept pumping into you with his three thick ass fingers, hitting your g-spot, again and again, making you arch your back and squeeze your walls around his fingers. You used what little energy you had left to groan into his mouth as you felt that familiar eruption coursing through your body, curling your toes and forcing your eyes to the back of your head. You thanked God one more time that you two were alone.  

“Fuck, look at my spoiled little brat. Such a good girl, cumming on my fingers like that.” He teased, sadly retreating from your pussy. “Shit, girl. Look at the mess you made.” You were dazed and out of breath but opened your eyes just in time to watch him taste you on his fingers, one by one. “You forgive me yet?”, he asked, that knowing smirk on his face. You almost said yes, but the demon inside felt otherwise. 

“Hmm...I don’t know Erik. That was some pretty disrespectful shit you pulled. My feeling’s might still be a little hurt.”, you replied, batting your long eyelashes. You would’ve begged for more if he asked, but this was definitely more fun. 

“Say less.”

so, dassit, for now. any comments/criticisms/suggestions are welcome.

[hellosaltysaladcollectionstuff]

SEVENTEEN AND HIGH, Nikki Darling swaggers down the middle of Garvey Boulevard, a busy thoroughfare in the San Gabriel Valley, as cars swerve around her: “‘Three Days’ by Jane’s Addiction is playing on my Walkman and I feel like I’m in a movie, like I’m an assassin.” She stands in the street with a cigarette hanging from her lips, with “someplace to be or maybe nowhere to go.” She taunts the cars as they pass: “Fly around me, motherfuckers! Fly around me like I’m not even here!”

In an opening scene brazen with feminine adolescent rage and emotion, Nikki Darling the author dares readers of her debut novel, Fade Into You, to come in close. By writing in the New Narrative style popularized by Eileen Myles (Chelsea Girls) and Michelle Tea (Rose of No Man’s Land), Darling keeps the veil between fiction and nonfiction purposefully thin, and having her protagonist carry her name builds intimacy. In an interview with the popular feminist podcast Call Your Girlfriend, Darling said she named her character Nikki because “being in the interiority of a teenage girl is not something readers are always familiar with.” In Fade Into You, Darling gives us more than an intimate view of a teenage girl; she gives us an intimate view of a young, mixed-race Chicana living in the suburbs of Los Angeles, the kind of portrait that is nearly nonexistent in L.A. letters.

Luis J. Rodriguez’s Always Running: La Vida Loca: Gang Days in L.A., an award-winning 1993 memoir that shares the tale of a young man struggling to survive gang life and addiction in the 1980s San Gabriel Valley, is the most notable and celebrated literary depiction of Chicanx teen life in Los Angeles. But not every Chicanx can identify with living “la vida loca.” Darling’s protagonist struggles to find her identity in a city that says to be Mexican can only be one thing, an issue many Mexican-American/Chicanx Angelenos understand. As Nikki thinks,

It would be my luck not just to be half-Mexican, but the wrong kind of Mexican. I am not from East Los. My people are borderlands, the frontera. I am a pale ghost of a bloody past. A daughter of the viceroyalty. A lady of Spain. But I’m not that either. I’m me. I’m SGV. I watch from the schoolyard as the sad boys mark up the EMF, throw down the emero. I live in the cool shadows of libraries.

I grew up in the SGV in the ’90s, and when I was 17 I liked to wear loose-fitting, faded blue jeans with a white T-shirt and blue Chucks. It’s how I felt most beautiful. One afternoon as I was sitting on the front stoop of my grandparents’ Boyle Heights home, my party-crew cousin from La Puente, in stiff Dickies and dark hoodie, looked down his chin at me and asked, “Eh, you like a rocker? You a skater? What are you?”

“I don’t know,” I said. I read his questions to mean, Why aren’t you more Mexican?

On a different day, a friend from my hometown of San Gabriel came with my family and me to that same Boyle Heights home for Sunday menudo. When my father parked in the driveway and I slid open the door to our Dodge van, she refused to get out. “I’m going to be shot!” she screamed, tears running down her face.

Her shocked reaction meant, I didn’t know you were that kind of Mexican.

By the late ’90s, I had not yet seen in books or TV these disparate expectations of what it meant to look and act Mexican. But I had seen them in two movies: My Family (1995) and Selena (1997). The latter, written and directed by Gregory Nava, put into words how I often felt, a dilemma perfectly articulated by Selena’s father, played by Edward James Olmos, as he rants to his family about the possibility of Selena touring in Mexico:

We gotta prove to the Mexicans how Mexican we are. And we gotta prove to the Americans how American we are. We gotta be more Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans both at the same time. It’s exhausting! Man! Nobody knows how tough it is to be a Mexican-American.

But Selena grew up in Corpus Christi, Texas, a vastly different setting from Fade Into You’s San Gabriel Valley, California, which in Darling’s hands becomes its own character. Schools, streets, and favorite hangouts of this L.A. suburb east of downtown are namedropped with acute knowledge, and the dialogue between Nikki and her friends — with all its dudes, mans, and bitches — is so accurate to the time and place it sounds more like transcription than fiction.

As I read, I was in awe of how much I had in common with Nikki. I, too, had a gorgeous, gay best friend I was in love with. I, too, studied theater. I, too, got high and went for pancakes at Denny’s before driving up to the mountains because they were close and we could. But as I moved further into the novel, I noticed another layer of the Mexican-American experience that is specific to the suburbs. Nikki narrates,

We are the kids of LA.

They write books about us. They make after-school specials about us. And none of it is the real us. None of it really captures who we are. But we eat it, digest it, and let it redefine us until we no longer know what is real and what is fake.

Nikki inhabits the parts of the SGV where teen movies and TV series such as Pretty in Pink and My So-Called Life are filmed, but these stories never center people like her. When she says, “They write after-school specials about us,” the us is never really us. The best we could hope for was to be the quiet and queer best friend, the Rickie Vasquez to the story’s Angela Chase. Hollywood used our streets but not our faces, and this became a kind of trauma.

I attended a private school in Pasadena not far from Casa Walsh and Dylan’s surfer bungalow (RIP Luke Perry), and my friends and I behaved as if we were characters on Beverly Hills, 90210 even though we were in 91107 and a good 25 miles from the über-rich neighborhood. Like Nikki attending a party at a midcentury home at the edge of South Pasadena, nearly everything we did felt cinematic: “Chelo and I walk into the party and I can tell things are about to get real cinema tonight. It’s a night when this city we live in really shows itself.”

To keep the fantasy alive, many classmates bleached their hair, and when people started driving, a good number opted for convertibles without concern for the make or model. But our proximity to Hollywood teen life affected more than our outward appearance — at least for me, it corrupted my very sense of self. I remember one day bounding into my house after being dropped off by a friend in her white convertible and catching my reflection in the large mirror that hung across from the front door. I didn’t recognize the person I saw. The image of my own brown face shocked me, and for a moment I was invisible.

Latinx people make up nearly 50 percent of the population of Los Angeles, with the majority being Mexican or of Mexican descent. And yet even though most films and TV shows are made here, I can count on two hands the number that center Mexican-American stories. In the afterglow of the 2019 Oscars, Los Angeles Times features writer and taco historian Gustavo Arellano tweeted, “Still waiting for Hollywood to give love to Chicanos.” Sure, over the last six years a Mexican director has won Best Director five times, but these are Mexican nationals, which is a very different experience. What of the immigrant families, children of immigrants, and multigenerational Mexican Americans who live in this town and help make it work?

The literary world maintains a similar sparsity. As a senior in high school in 1998, I read The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros in my English class. Though it is set in Chicago, I saw a young, Mexican-American character in literature for the first time, and the book thrilled me. In my 20s, I obsessed over Michele Serros’s Chicana Falsa: And Other Stories of Death, Identity, and Oxnard (1993), and in my 30s I fell in love with Isabel Quintero’s Gabi, a Girl in Pieces (2014), which follows a 17-year-old, light-skinned Chicana who lives in the Inland Empire and loves poetry and hot Cheetos. Author Helena María Viramontes (Under the Feet of Jesus) also tells stories about young people living in East Los Angeles, but a nuanced view of growing up Chicana in the L.A. suburbs has been missing until now.

We SGV kids live close enough to Hollywood to be infected by its story lines and cultural sprawl, and yet only our streets are worthy of making it onto film. We live close enough to East Los Angeles to know we aren’t the right kind of Mexican, and yet we’re at the same time too Mexican. We are pushed into the margins of pop culture. So while Nikki Darling the character is walking down the middle of Garvey Boulevard dying to be seen, it’s Nikki Darling the author who’s shouting: We’re here! We matter! We live on these streets! And that’s a reflection I recognize.

¤

Women Who Submit co-founder Xochitl-Julisa Bermejo’s work has appeared on Terrain.org and in KCET Departures. She is the author of Posada: Offerings of Witness and Refuge (Sundress Publications, 2016).

The post Invisible No More: How “Fade Into You” Reflects the L.A. Chicanx Experience appeared first on Los Angeles Review of Books.

from Los Angeles Review of Books http://bit.ly/2JR8b01

[junker-town]

Which NFL player would you name a food after?

It’s the offseason and we’re hungry.

Sports and food are two of the best things in the world. When you combine the names of NFL players with meals, you have a delicious and well-named masterpiece.

SugarFire Smokehouse in St. Louis recently unveiled a burger called the “Reuben Foster.” It is a house burger, with Swiss cheese, sauerkraut hash, pastrami, caramelized onion, and a special sauce. Sounds good, right?

The burger inspired us to make our own creations, naming them after various NFL players, coaches, and even mascots. We apologize in advance for the appetite you’re about to have after reading this post.

Aaron Rodgers: Dairy-free “Kale Mary” smoothie

A year ago, Rodgers fessed up to the biggest cardinal sin any Wisconsinite can commit: He cut dairy from his diet. At the time, he said he did for his health reasons, and his new diet — "more of a vegan diet with some red meat at times and some chicken" — sounded obnoxiously Tom Brady-esque.

Recently, Rodgers clarified that “irritable bowels” is why he really went dairy-free. And man, that stinks for him, but is also a valid reason. No one wants the constant tummy rumbles or runs to the bathroom (or scatological jokes at your expense).

Rodgers’ commitment to watching what he eats as he enters his mid-30s is admirable, though. So let him have his kale and eat it too: add some almond milk, a couple of fruits and vegetables, NFL-regulated protein powder, and voila, the Hail Mary king has his own belly-friendly smoothie.

Matt Ryan: Matty Ice light beer

It’s safe to assume the Falcons quarterback could use a beer after what was a rough Super Bowl LI loss. So what better than a Matty Ice? It’s cool, crisp, and aged a long and painful 25 weeks to perfection.

Tyrann Mathieu: Honey Badger honey cake

Mathieu got his Honey Badger nickname from the animal. Honey badgers are mean as hell and they’ll eat anything. They’re true omnivores. Its formal name, mellivora capensis, means “honey eater of the Cape,” meaning the Cape of Good Hope in South Africa. We also think that Mathieu wouldn’t mind being the eater of the cake that we’re naming after him.

J.J. Watt: 99-Watt energy drink

Watts are a unit of power, and Watt is an explosive and energetic player out on the football field, whether you find it to be genuine or not.

Watt’s drink would be made out of the most ridiculous and stereotypical ingredients that any meathead would have in his smoothie/drink/shake. Raw eggs (with the shells), any mixture of fruit and vegetables, all while being chugged straight out of the blender.

Ezekiel Elliott: Cinnamon Toast Crunch “Feed me” fried ice cream

We know Zeke loves cereal:

Like, probably more than you love your kids:

And we know Cinnamon Toast Crunch has been one of his favorites for years:

Should I eat frosted flakes , fruit loops, or cinnamon toast crunch???

— Ezekiel Elliott (@EzekielElliott) February 5, 2014

No one is ever too old to enjoy a lil CT Crunch, but at a certain age, it becomes less acceptable to chow down on it in public. There’s an easy fix for that, and it’s very Texas: fry it, add some ice cream, and sell it at a food truck.

Myles Garrett: “Myles to go before I sheep” taco

Hopefully Garrett gets the opportunity to open his own Fuego Tortilla Grill franchise in Cleveland. Not only would it be the first location in the Midwest, it’d be Fuego’s first location outside of Texas. And such a milestone deserves its own signature dish. The fresh home-made flour tortilla, chipotle cream corn, and pico de gallo can stay, but Garrett earns the right to be the namesake for Fuego’s lamb taco debut.

Alex Mack: Mackaroni and cheese

Much like the Falcons’ center is the best player along Atlanta’s offensive line, macaroni and cheese is a dependable comfort food. Enjoy it with a nice, cold Matty Ice.

Drew Brees: Dink and Dunkin’ Donut

The Saints’ quarterback is a budding restauranteur, and he’s part of an effort to bring 69 Dunkin’ Donuts stores to Louisiana, which is nice. It’s only fitting that one of the donuts they offer would be named after the guy who brought home the Lombardi Trophy after the 2009 season.

Tom Brady: Super Bowl MVPizza

The closest thing Brady has had to an arch-rival in his unparalleled NFL career is Peyton Manning, a man who brought 30 Papa John’s shops to Denver when he left Indianapolis. Based on their final Super Bowl ring counts, Brady is destined to open 75 of his own gross, artisanal, vegan, gluten-free pizza chains throughout New England.

We already know the four-time Super Bowl MVP marks out for avocado ice cream and has never tasted a strawberry in his life. Brady’s pizza would have the kind of health benefits that allows 39-year-old men to post MVP-caliber seasons. It would also taste like lawn clippings sprinkled over Saltines.

Rob Gronkowski: Gronk’s MonsterClear Brotein shake

Bro. Bro

The perfect way to cool down after a workout and pre-game at the same time is a protein shake mixed with Monster and Everclear.

Glen Coffee: Coffee Americano

His item can’t just be some coffee. And it needs to be stronger than a Caffe Americano. Sure, both will energize you and give you a jumpstart to your day, but Glen’s Coffee Americano would give you more than that, with an extra shot of espresso ... and patriotism.

Coffee retired from the NFL to join the U.S. Army to become a paratrooper. His extra espresso drink will give you the same motivation to do something of greater meaning, as well as the energy to kick some butt while doing it.

Now, he’s making a comeback. Time for some shots!

Andrew Luck: Luck of the Irish oatmeal

It should be no surprise that Andrew Luck is a big fan of oatmeal. Sure, it sounds like it’s the breakfast equivalent of going to the dentist, but that’s only to those too unrefined to realize just how versatile and flavorful oatmeal can be.

But Luck knows. From a 2013 interview with The Indianapolis Star:

Q: You're a sponsor of Quaker Oats. Do you have a favorite oatmeal recipe?

A: "I eat a lot of oatmeal anyway. But every morning, I get an omelet and I get fruit, oatmeal and I put yogurt on my oatmeal, which is sort of weird. But there is this recipe I like with honey roasted maple pecans, bananas (on oatmeal) and that's pretty good. But I don't do that every day. It's too much to do on a daily (basis)."

Now that’s a savory — and healthy — start to the day. Oatmeal will never be the sexiest meal, but whether you use quick, rolled, or steel-cut (aka Irish) oats, it’s always one of the most reliable.

Ben Roethlisberger: Big Bean soup

What, you were thinking a burger? Cliche. Soup isn’t just great, but it also helps you feel better when you’re dealing with the aches and pains of a bad cold. Roethlisberger knows a little bit about aches; he’s missed five starts the past two seasons while playing through injury in the back halves of each year.

Bill O’Brien: Potatoes O’Brien breakfast taco

Breakfast tacos don’t have to be complicated, but the best ones usually offer more than just eggs, cheese, and a tortilla. Bacon, chorizo, brisket, beans if you’re vegetarian, or all of the above if you’re really not; avocado if you don’t want to buy a house one day; and, of course, potatoes.

Throw in some diced peppers and onions, and those potatoes suddenly become Potatoes O’Brien. If that all sounds messy, then it’s perfect for Bill O’Brien. Just look at the quarterback situations he’s had to deal with since becoming the Texans’ head coach.

Vince Wilfork: Wilforkin’ Good Ribs

We’ll let Wilfork explain this one:

Bust a move, barbecue style. You better join me + @Kingsford and #StandWithRibs #Sponsored http://pic.twitter.com/8sn0EdLgFR

— Vince Wilfork (@wilfork75) May 17, 2017

Kirk Cousins: “You Like That?” Early Bird Special

Kirk Cousins used to drive his grandma’s conversion van to his job with the Washington football team and park it among the BMWs and Bentleys. He also thinks staying up until 10:30 is “late.”

It only seems fitting that he’d have an early bird special named after him. Cousins would most certainly like that.

Blue, the Colts mascot: Blue’s berry pie

There’s nothing quite like a wholesome blueberry pie. Blue is arguably the best mascot in the NFL, and might be inclined to throw that pie in your face.

It’s better than him humping it, though.

[happynowidiot-blog-blog]

Penny and I slept in George’s bed on Saturday.

Don’t get your hopes up, dears, there was not a wild tequila induced threesome. There actually wasn’t any tequila involved at all. Penny, Shahida, and I met up with Penny’s friend Ellesse from school and went to Greenwich to watch the fireworks for Bonfire Night. Ellesse is super nice and incredibly pretty. On our walk to the fireworks we mentioned that we might meet up with George and Penny immediately told her that I had dibs. We got to the place where the fireworks where being set off and got food (just crappy burgers but we were starving). It was properly cold out. I had my wool-lined Converse on and a cashmere sweater over two tank tops all underneath my coat. I even had my gloves and hat on. Penny and Shahida had tights on under their jeans and sweaters under their coats. We were still cold but it was a good cold. It’s the type of cold you dream about on really hot days in the summer. It’s November and it feels like it should.

The fireworks were really good and afterwards all we wanted was a pub and drink so we could warm up. We were in the middle of Lewisham and the amount of people meant that there was no service on our phones so we couldn’t get ahold of George. We picked a group of people and decided to follow them to see if they led us towards a pub. We walked towards Greenwich and George’s texts from earlier started coming through. I missed a call from a blocked number and we knew it was him but calling him back made his phone go straight to voicemail. We ended up in the huge crowds of people trying to find somewhere to go and George called Penny from a blocked number. We were literally standing in front of a pub called George and the Dragon. Hilarious. We eventually found him in the mass of people and followed him, Esam, and Other George (that’s literally how we referred to him all night) to the bar he brought Penny and I to last time we were in Greenwich.

We got drinks and kind of just stood around talking because there were no free tables. George had on a gray beanie type of hat and hipster glasses. He looked hilarious with a black scarf around his neck and a leather necklace over his white t-shirt. Other George is less attractive with his shirt on but he’d genuinely a cool guy. Our collective love for Esam is growing by the minute. He’s just such a chill guy and totally nice. Ellesse is also really nice but unpredictably a light weight. Like legit. She apparently got wasted off of four shots of Absolut once. Four. I’m embarrassed for her. She had a beer and was standing a little too close to George for me to be comfortable. I signaled to Penny and she ran interference. Literally. She walked up and stood in between them. Shahida, Ellesse, and I did a shot of vodka at the bar and the guys mentioned a dorm party they’d been invited to at Greenwich Uni.

We were walking there when Penny realised we were across the street from the Mexican bar we’d gone to that night. She stopped, turned to George and said, “Blow jobs! Blow jobs! Blow jobs!” I joined in after a second to make the connection and George smirks at us and says, “What, right here on the corner?” We dragged him across the street and marched up the the bar. He owed us those shots anyway but told us to order one for the six of us, his treat. It was a bit much to be in that bar with all those people. Penny and I kept looking at each other and having flashbacks. We did our shots (that Esam ended up paying for because George forgot his card. We all really believe him) and then continued to the dorm party. That was a ridiculous experience. It was a sociologists dream. The body language of everyone in that party towards us was so negative. Literally everyone faced away from us the whole time. We were talking to this guy (not flirting, just saying hey) and this girl walked up grabbed his arm and glared at us. She glared at Penny and Penny wasn’t even talking to the guy.

Esam left for a bit to meet with his dealer (who’s in his phone as ‘Dan’s Still The Man’) and then came back to collect us. We jumped on the DLR and then a bus back to guys’ house. We sat in their kitchen and smoked for a couple hours just talking. It’s probably a good thing that weed just makes me freak out considerably less then normal because Ellesse kept moving closer the George. At one point she was touching his leg (he made a joke about only one of his socks went to his knees) and Penny and Shahida immediately panicked. I was a little annoyed by it but couldn’t quite get myself to freak out at that point. George had socks on that had guitars on them. It may have actually been the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. He rolled a spliff and Kareem (Esam’s brother) took it apart and re-made it and George goes, “It’s like I gave my son a toy for Christmas and he asked for the receipt.” All I could think at that point was, “OMG he wants a son? That’s adorable!” Penny apparently thought the same thing and then had this image of him sitting underneath a Christmas tree holding a fire truck. It’s a beautiful image. This whole time Ellesse was sitting really close to him and at one George legitimately got up and moved. That was kind of awesome.

We decided to watch the Little Rascals so we all piled into the living room while George youtubed it. The quality was actually awesome once he connected his laptop to their giant tv. Esam and Penny shared the couch, Ellesse and Shahida both were in armchairs, and I stole the beanbag and perched at Shahida’s feet. George went to get comfy and came in pajamas which in his case included his gray stocking hat and hipster glasses complete with a green sleeping bag he was literally walking around in. He sat on the ground at Penny’s feet and looked so much like a caterpillar that I was dying. At one point he got up and went to get something and Penny goes, “With the glasses, doesn’t he look like a bookworm?” I literally cried I laughed so hard. It was so legit. The fact that there isn’t a picture of him like that makes me so sad. The movie was adorable. I haven’t seen it since I was like 5 and really liked watching it again. Even the boys laughed at it. After it finished we watched some really crap tv for awhile and then gave up to go to bed. It was after 4:30 at this point. Oh, one other thing, it is freezing in this house. So completely cold that we were shaking until we made George go get us all blankets.

Esam had said we could have his bed earlier that night and then offered George’s bed as well. Shahida and Ellesse took Esam’s double bed and as you’ve probably already guessed, Penny and I shared George’s single. That bed, by the way is the single most uncomfortable thing ever. Oh my jesus. How is George not in pain all the time? Do not understand. Anyways, the best part about this whole situation is that since Esam and George slept in the living room Penny and I got to snoop unperturbed around George’s room. That was fun. He has a bunch of music theory books and a ridiculous plaid fedora hanging off a shelf (there’s a hilarious picture of me wearing it on Penny’s iPhone). He has a straightener with a converter on the end which means that he brought it with him from Dubai. He has library books next to his bed and a hilarious bookmark with a badger on it. There’s a postcard leaning against the wall that upon further investigation proved to be from his grandmom (could this be more adorable? Answer: no). There’s a post-it on his desk about a jazz club and a London atlas squished next to an Idiot’s Guide to Music Theory on his bookshelf. The Liverpool scarf is undisturbed and the clothes he’d worn that day were folded over the chair.

After I was at the point where I was going to have to go through his closet or dvd case (neither seemed like intelligent ideas) so I turned the light off and cuddled under the duvet with Penny. Both of us were tired but were definitely too high to sleep so we talked for a couple hours. Holy shit, hilarious conversation. Such complete stoner logic going on. At one point we realised that McDonald’s would be serving breakfast and almost cried with happiness. We spent a few minutes saying “Threeeeesome” over and over again to see if George would suddenly be compelled to walk into the room. He didn’t (I was slightly disappointed). At one point we talked about how Ellesse and Shahida couldn’t party with the big dogs. We reached the conclusion that Myles doesn’t understand that as 19 year old girls we were going to date/crush on/hook up with guys who are bad for us. Penny said that her mom was a major partier when she was younger and her dad smoked pot and now they’re the most responsible, well-adjusted people she knows. I said that it’s because of their life experience. Penny then predicted that we’ll get drunk one day and end up saying, “George, you’re our life experience!”. To which, of course, he’ll respond with “Is that an invitation?”

We fell asleep for about an hour and woke up when Penny’s alarm went off at 8. I did not want to move even a little bit. I wasn’t exactly comfortable but it was warm underneath the blanket and I was exhausted. Penny got up and took the duvet with her which meant that I had to follow because it was freezing in my jeans and tank top. We stuck our heads into the living room and Esam was sprawled out on the couch snoring. George, however, had put the arm chairs together and was literally cuddling his duvet, like wrapped himself around it like a teddy bear. So fucking adorable. I knew he’d be a cuddler.

We went upstairs and woke the girls up and the stole toast from the kitchen because we were starving. Other George was leaving for work and offered to drive us to the train station (like in a car! So exciting!) so we got dressed really quick and woke George and Esam up to say goodbye. George barely would open his eyes and Esam looked to exhausted to actually process the English language. He sat up so we could hug him and George remained horiziontal while we waved goodbye. Penny attempted a hug but failed. I reached over and ruffled his hair.

Other George dropped us off at the train station and we gradually made our way home. Penny, Shahida, and I stopped at McDonald’s on our way to the flat (hash browns are so glorious) and when we got home we collapsed. Shahida and I passed out in her bed and slept until Penny woke us up at 3 PM with cups of tea so we could make breakfast. We sat in Shahida’s bed and talked for a bit before this and I managed to refer to Esam as Eames. I realised that his name just seems like someone mixed up the letters in Eames because I see that so much more often. Shahida said I could probably start calling Esam that and he’d be ok with it. I know I could but then George would make call him Arthur and I’d actually have to kill myself. I then discovered that George’s neckalce that I’d stolen at the dorm party was still wrapped around my wrist. Whoops.

We told Esam about Thanksgiving and he’s really excited so he’s coming and we’re assuming that means he’s bringing George. And Friday they invited us to the club in Mayfair where Esam has a table. There are no words for how excited I am. It’s the kind of club where the table vodka is Grey Goose. Stoked. It probably won’t actually happen but it would be awesome if it did. We’ve never been to a club with George and when Penny, Shahida, and I realised that would put us in very short dresses in front of him we all had the same reaction: “That’s not gonna end well.”

I feel as though that’s a good summary for most of our nights. Ah, well. Isn’t that the point of college?

[xjoiexgabriel]

Pumpkins & dates || Vabe

Who: Gabe Beiste & @vincechambers

Where: Pumpkin patch and football stadium

when: 10/25

what: The boys take Myles to get pumpkins and go on a date

Gabe had Myles all dressed in his warm clothes as he buckled him into his car seat and gave him the baby blanket he loved. The little boy babbling to him as he kissed his forehead. Vince and Gabe were taking him to the pumpkin patch to just see it and run around a bit as he was starting to really walk a lot. Slipping into the driver side, he waited for Vince to join them.

Vince finished getting ready and made his way down to Gabe's car. He waved as he walked out, seeing Gabe in the car already. "Hey babe." he said, getting in and looked back to Myles. "And hello cutie pie." He said to the baby before looking to Gabe again. "I think he's pumpkin ready. WE're going to have to buy him one."

"Hi babe." Kissing him quickly as he looked into the review mirror to see Myles in baby mirror. "Yeah, I know but a small one then we'll crave a couple for ourselves. Also, I was thinking..." Pulling out of the drive and heading for the patch. "How do you feel about a date night tonight? Jack is going to watch Myles so we can have the night to ourselves."

Vince smiled and relaxed again the seat as Gabe started to drive. "We'll have to let him pick his own little one out." He said before nodding his head. "And of course we're going to carve our owns." He told him. Vince reached out to take hold of Gabe's hand as he drove and smiled a little more. "Really? That would be really cool."

"he can barely walk alone...maybe next year." Gabe chuckled softly. "Though I think we can let him point one out, just he can't carry it yet." Hand in hand, he nodded to him. "Yeah, I mean we haven't really gotten to go out much so it would be nice."

"Well yeah. But he can toddle his way to the one he likes best and we can carry it for him." He told him with a smile on his face. "I'd really like that. Even if we had to take Myles with us, it would still be nice."

"He can hold hands and toddle, yes but he can't walk alone yet. " Gabe stated, his fatherly side was suddenly very out. "Yeah I know but I kind of want a real date night with you. "

Vince wrinkled his nose a little. “I’m sure he’ll enjoy it though.” He told him, looking out ahead of them again. “Then date night it is.” He said with a smile on his face. “What’d you have in mind?”

"Yeah, I think he will and the pictures will be cute too. We can even do the pony ride with him as long as we hold him." Gabe smiled, the thought making his heart swell some. "Well i was thinking something fun and you'll have to wait and see." he winked.

Vince smiled more and nodded his head. "That'll be super cute. I'll take pictures of it." He said, assuming Gabe would be the one to hold Myes up on the pony. "A mysetery date, huh? Do I have to dress all fancy?"

"We can both take photos, no reason you can't switch off with me." Shrugging then he bit his lip as a thought came to him. "Vince you know if this is all too much or you're feeling pressured, its okay. I understand. I don't want you to think that you have to do all of this with me...its got to be odd and all." Rubbing the back of his neck as he parked at the patch. "Also dress comfy and warm."

Vince looked at him and frowned a little listening to him. "I'm not doing it because I feel pressured or anything. I'm doing it because he's part of you. Because I love you and in turn that means I love him. Was it a shock to find out about him? Of course it was, but he's here and I wouldn't want it any other way." Vince told him seriously. He got out and stretched a little with a hum, hearing what to wear. "I can do that. I live in sweats." He grinned at Gabe.

"Jeans, baby, jeans. Not that Comfy." Gabe taking Myles from his carseat and helping him to get his coat on before letting the little boy down to walk as Gabe held one of his hand and Vince held the other. Looking to his boyfriend, he smiled. "Thank you for what you said. I love you too, so does Myles." Myles shrieking as he walked and Gabe lastly having grabbed the diaper backpack that was thrown over his shoulder.

Vince pouted a little. "you said warm and comfy!" He protested playfully. "But fiiiine. I'll wear this with a coat." he said since he already had jeans on. Vince walked over to help with Myles and smiled holding onto the little boy's hand. "Hold on, Myles! Your daddy's slow!" he laughed as Myles wanted to start walking with them before Gabe could get the diaper backpack on. He smiled to Gabe again and shrugged some. "I'm just being honest. He's pretty amazing."

Gabe stuck his tongue out to Vince. "Someone has to carry the bag now." With the backpack on, he started to walked with them. Myles was just taking it all in. Gabe was so happy to have this chance. The baby suddenly stopped and reached up to Gabe. He picked his son up, carrying him. "So maze first or hay ride?"

"Did you have a stroller for him? Maybe we should have brought that so we don't have to carry him the whole time..." he said once Gabe picked Myles up. "I can take the bag while you hold him so it doesn't look like i'm just standing here." he laughed a little before looking around. "I say maze first that way we can sit for the hay ride once our feet are tired."

Gabe stopped for a moment. "I have Boba in the bag, it looks like a giant blanket." Stopping to have Vince take the bag and get it out. Gabe wrapped it around him and Myles until he was secure. "Ta da. No stroller needed and yeah, if you want to carry the bag, that works. So then, maze?" Taking Vince's hand into his own.

Vince nodded a little and took the bag. He kneeled down and found the wrap before handing it to him. Vince stood back up, watching his boyfriend in amazement before putting the bag on his back. "you're amazing, I hope you know that." He told him before nodding, holding onto the other's hand. "Maze first."

Gabe blushed a bit. "Nah, just being me and my dad suggested this from when he had us." Smiling and walking into the maze with him. It wasn't a big deal, more made for kids but it was fun to do. Once they stepped out, Myles was starting to drift, which only made Gabe smile and pull the wrap over his head some.

“Still amazing.” Vince told him. He grabbed a map on the way in and walked with Gabe, holding his hand the whole time. He looked over to Myles as they walked out and smiled seeing him drifting out. “Poor guy hasn’t even got to go on the hay ride yet.” He laughed a little.

"yeah but I mean, did we really think he'd be awake for it all?" Gabe chuckled a bit. Suddenly a girl walked by with her friend and smiled to the boy's commenting on how cute they thought they were. Gabe smirked, then took Vince's hand again, kissing him quickly. "I'm lucky, right?" They were met with open jaws as the boy's walked towards the hay ride.

“I was wishful thinking! Maybe next year.” Vince told him with a smile. He heard the girls and smiled a little before Gabe kissed him. He rolled his eyes at the comment before walking to him. “You’re such a nerd.” He said playfully.

"No, i'm honest" He smiled as they climbed onto the hay ride. It wasn't very short so Gabe wasn't surprised when Myles woke from his nap and was moving against him some. He uncovered him so he could see what was going on. "Good morning, little man." Kissing his son's head softly.

Vince sat next to the other, taking the bag off and putting it between his feet so he wouldn't hit anyone with it. He wrapped his arm around Gabe's as the hay ride started. Vince looked to Myles as he saw him moving and smiled a little. "You're blinding him, dad!" He laughed a little as Gabe moved the wrap down again.

Gabe made a face. "I'm not blinding him, I was keeping the sun out of his eyes." Holding the boy a bit tighter to him as he sighed. He knew Vince was joking but it still stung since he was trying to do the best he could.

"baby, i'm joking." he said, nudging him as Gabe pulled Myles in closer. He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Gabe's cheek tapping Myles' nose with his finger. "And I meant the sun was blinding him since he woke up and it's bright out. You know how it is when you've got a hat or something on and then take it off. You get blinded."

Gabe nodded and kissed Vince's cheek in return. The hay ride was nice as Gabe even got Myles out so he could sit and could feel the hay, though he wasn't too sure of it. Smiling, they reached the patch and got out to go look at the pumpkins. "You going to be able to carry 2 pumpkins, babe?"

Vince smiled, leaning into the kiss. He watched Myles with the hay and grinned seeing him explore it. "I'll grab one of the wagons just incase." he said, putting the backpack back on one they got out. He went to grab one of the wagons they had available and walked back to Gabe. "Ready!"

Gabe held Myles' hand as they walked along.  Looking at all the pumpkins, Myles stopped and grabbed onto a little one, i couldn't be more then the size of a grapefruit but he liked it and was playing with it, so the boys got it. "One down, 2 to go...though I gotta run him to the bathroom, he needs a change. See what you can find us?" Picking up Myles and heading off to change him.

Vince walked along the two and smiled watching Myles. He grinned seeing Myles with the tiniest pumpkin ever, but was so proud of him for picking one out. He looked up to Gabe and nodded a little listening to him. "Yeah, I'll just be looking around if you wanna find me too."

Changed and ready, Myles was back in the wrap as Gabe found Vince. He had found himself a pumpkin and now was carrying it over to meet Vince and set it into the wagon. "all clean, got yours babe?"

Vince hummed to himself as he looked at the pumpkins. He picked one up and sat it in the wagon just before Gabe walked over. He smiled at him and nodded. 'Just got one for me." He told him.

Gabe smiled to see the pumpkins then bounced Myles up more in the carrier. "Well then, I think its time to load them and get back to the frat its almost his lunch and nap time."

Vince nodded his head a little, wheeling the wagon over to pay for them. He pulled his wallet out and paid before smiling to Gabe. “Why don’t you start getting him situated back in the car and I’ll get these loaded up?” He asked, starting to walk toward the car again.

Gabe was going to pay but he knew better then to get in the way of Vince's wallet. He'd pay on their date night. With Myles back in the carseat, Gabe decided then to give him some of his lunch and his bottle. All loaded up, he had the car running and grinned to Vince once he was in. "I fed him so he should just stay asleep once we get home."

Vince made his way back to the car. He got everything loaded before returning the wagon. Vince got back in the car and glanced back to Myles sleeping as Gabe spoke. “Poor guy’s all tuckered out from his adventure.” He said before looking back to Gabe. “Thank you for this. I had a lot of fun.”

"Thank you for coming with. I can't imagine how it would have been had I taken him alone." he smiled and reached over to give Vince a good long kiss. "Just a preview for later." he smirked and started back for the frat.

Vince smiled listening to him. "You're welcome. I love spending time with you guys." He told him before Gabe kissed him. Vince smiled into the kiss, kissing him back before humming a little. "I can't wait for the rest." He grinned, relaxing against the chair.

Gabe held his hand once more as the drove back. He carried Myles in and placed him in his crib, thankful that he stayed sleeping. Getting the pumpkins into the kitchen, he took the chance to pull his boyfriend close. "You want to crave them now or wait for him to get up and he can watch?"

Vince helped him get everything back inside. He smiled as Gabe pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around the other's neck. "It doesn't matter to me. I guess it just depends on what you were planning for this date tonight."

Gabe hummed. "I'm planning on something fun and something that you will never forget." Kissing him quickly. "How about we save carving for this week coming up and get ready for our date tonight because you have hay in your hair." Picking it out to show him.

Vince hummed in response hearing him. "Something I"ll never forget, huh?" He asked, leaning his head to the side some before looking to the hay. Vince laughed a little, shaking his head some. "guess I should go shower then before. Jeans and a nice sweater, right?"

"Yep, I'll see you soon." Gabe spanking his ass then heading up the stairs. He called Jack just to make sure he was still coming to watch him. With everything in order, Gabe got into the shower as well, so excited for this date night.

Vince made a face at him once Gabe slapped his ass. He made his way back to his room to get ready. He showered and made sure he chose out nice clothes before making his way back down to Gabe's room.

Gabe was dressed and ready. Jack was there and caring for Myles when Vince met up with Gabe. He smiled to see him dressed just right. "You're looking good, ready to go?" he grinned, giving Myles one more kiss before they left and making sure Jack had it all covered.

Vince smiled, thanking Jack before nodding to Gabe. "Thank you." He said before nodding again at his question. "Definitely ready to see what you have planned."

Hand in hand, they got back in the car. Gabe handing Vince a blindfold. "I don't want you guessing before we get there but I promise you'll love it." He was so excited for this now that it was going to happen.

Vince looked to the blindfold and shook his head a little. "you're lucky I trust you." he said, pulling the blindfold on after he was situated in the car.

Gabe grinned, holding his hand at least while they drove. It wasn't a short drive but soon the were there and he put the car in park. "Okay you can take it off." They were at the football stadium. "Dad got us seats in the box." Holding them up for Vince to see.

Vince held onto his hand as he drove, relaxing back against the seat. Once Gabe said to, he took it off and looked around once his eyes adjusted. "Seriously?!" He asked, seeing the stadium. "This is awesome!"

"I thought you'd like it" Gabe chuckled and got out. Holding his boyfriend's hand as they walked in and up to the box. "Everything is paid for. Dad and I paid in advanced." The box was warm, which was nice and it was just going to be them there. "You can step out to see the field better if you want." gabe taking a seat in one of the father large chairs.

Vince walked with him and shook his head some. "You didn't have to go all out like this, babe." He said seriously, looking around the box. He smiled stepping out onto the deck and looked around at everything.

"I wanted to and well, dad liked you. Said I go lucky with you." Gabe chuckled, just watching him enjoy it all. This wasn't his first time in a box so he rather enjoyed seeing it from Vince's eyes now.

Vince couldn't believe he was in the box at a Browns football game. He turned back to Gabe and walked up to hug him. "Thank you!" he said, giving him a kiss.

"You're welcome." Kissing him back and pulling the boy into his lap now. He took a proper kiss from his lips and nuzzled his cheek. "So you hungry or anything?"

Vince easily moved to sit on his lap, wrapping one arm around Gabe's neck. "I could go for some food." He said with a nod. "Maybe a beer to go with it?"

"Sounds good to me too." Gabe grabbing the phone and phoning in for a couple hot dogs and some nachoes along with the beers. Once it was all set, he put the phone back down. The stadium was starting to fill, the game wasn't too far from starting either.

Vince smiled listening to him. "This is seriously amazing. Thank you." He told him honestly. "I've never watched a game from a box before."

"You're welcome, again." He smiled to Vince. "Well dad has chances for this and so he said we can use them if we want to. We'll bring Jack and Myles as well some time. Maybe Jack and his boyfriend if he finds a good boy and I know he will."

Vince smiled and nodded to him a little. "your brother's adorable so I'm sure he'll be able to find someone good for him." He told him, giving him a quick kiss.

Gabe was glad for the quick kiss as their food and beers arrived. He thanked and tipped the waiter that brought them their food. "I think so too, but I just hope he sees it and stops going after the boys that hurt him"

Vince moved off Gabe's lap once their food arrived. He took a seat next to him and started eating. "I mean, I've been there. So I'm sure he'll be able to find someone."

"Agreed." Gabe digging in, he smiled. It was something to have Vince there, to know he wanted to be with him despite everything. It made his heart skip beats, though he'd never admit to it. Still the look in his eyes at times gave it away, so quickly he looked away. "So Vince, I was wondering, after you graduate...what do you want to do?"

Vince started eating, his eyes moving out to scan the field as he did so. He looked back to Gabe at his question and swallowed what was in his mouth before answering. "Well I'd love to play pro-baseball, but I doubt that's going to happen since I haven't been recruited yet. So my plan is to try and apply to a major or minor league team who's in need of an athletic trainer or medical person to add to their staff."

Gabe nodded. "I think you can do it but either way, I think its very cool." Was it too soon to talk about the future? He wasn't sure so he just went back to his drink as the game started.

Vince smiled at him and nodded a little. "Thank you. Do you know where you want to work as an EMT?" He asked him curiously. He wasn't sure where this topic would lead, but it never hurt to ask.

"Wherever. I mean, I'm willing to move for the person I'm with until we find a place that fits for us both." Gabe smirking and side eying his boyfriend a bit. Wondering how he was going to react.

Vince reached for his beer and took a sip from it before nodding. "Even if that person might be on the road for some of the year?" He asked.

"Well I mean, I can't follow them on the road, but I mean, once we found a home base then I'd settle there with Myles and maybe other kids if we had them." Gabe shrugged. "We make sure to go see them too while they were on road too and video chat and all that."

Vince smiled more listening to him. He nodded his head again listening, before leaning over to kiss his cheek. "Sounds like a wonderful plan to me." He told him softly.

Gabe grinned to him. He knew it was too soon to say it outloud but it seemed to him they just planned their future in a way and so far, he really liked it. Reaching for Vince's hand, he beckoned him back over to his lap.

Vince took the other's hand and grabbed his beer with the other as he moved to sit back on Gabe's lap. He smiled to him before relaxing back against him, making sure Gabe could see the game still.

Gabe wrapped him in his arms like that. He wanted to hold him, he wanted to always hold him. "Hey Vince." he whispered to him. "I know we live together but what do you think about sleeping in my bed more?"

Vince kept his eyes on the game before humming, hearing his name. He smiled again, turning his head slightly to glance at Gabe out of the corner of his eye at the question. "I mean, I wouldn't be opposed to that at all."

Gabe poked his side. "You are a tease." he chuckled and just watched now. They sat like that for a good part of the game. Cheering and booing, going out to the balcony when they felt like it but always touching in some way, like they were tied together. As the game was coming to last moments, Gabe was pulled in and cheering like nuts.

"you love it." He teased for real this time. Vince had at blast at the game, spending most of it on Gabe's lap while they cheered for their team. Once the game was coming to the last minutes, Vince was amazed at how into it Gabe was getting. He stood next to him, just taking his boyfriend in.

With the last points scored, Gabe was scream and yelling in excitement as they won. Turning to Vince, he pulled him close and kissed him slowly. Taking a moment before he pulled back. "I'm serious about you staying with me, say you will. I don't really want to go too many nights without you by my side."

Vince cheered along side Gabe, letting the other pull him into the kiss. He kissed him back before looking up to him as Gabe spoke again. "Of course I'll stay with you." He told him seriously. "Though we may need to bring my mattress down to your room. Memory foam is better than your mattress... sorry babe." He winked at him.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll do that or we can go get another one for my room since if Myles gets sick I don't want you to have to drag it back and forth." Gabe kissing him once more. "Lets get back, I want to check on the baby and definitely want to cuddle you all night." Pressing him in close.

Vince smiled and nodded his head. "I'll pay for it since it was my suggestion to bring my mattress down." He told him, knowing how much mattresses were and he'd rather have Gabe spend his money on Myles now. "Definitely! I'm sure your brother took care of him just fine though."

Gabe shook his head. "No, I can do it. I want to do this but we'll agree that if the one i get isn't good enough then you can get us a better one." His hand slipped into Vince's back pocket as they walked from the stadium to the car. "I know he did, but still, its the parent feeling. Just need to see he's breathing."

Vince looked up at him before nodding again. "Alright. Deal." He said, wrapping his own arm around Gabe's waist as they walked. "I get it. I honestly worry about him too." he admitted, glancing up to Gabe before looking back ahead of them.

[junker-town]

Why Josh Rosen deserves early No. 1 NFL draft pick hype

A QB coach explains how the UCLA star makes the most of his surroundings.

Even after missing the second half of UCLA’s 2016, junior Josh Rosen is poised to be one of the first three quarterbacks taken in next year’s NFL draft. The former No. 1 pro-style QB recruit is deadly accurate, can go through his progressions, and he once smuggled in a hot tub into his dorm room. If that’s not the makeup of a top quarterback, I don’t know what is.

Of course, some people don’t see the hot tub incident as much of a positive as I do. Some say smuggling a hot tub into your room is a sign of immaturity. I don’t know Josh personally; therefore I don’t know his motives, but I’ve always dreamt about having a hot tub in my apartment. This guy did it, so I tip my hat to you, my brother.

One NFL scout called him a “mess off the field,” perhaps because one time, he rearranged a neighbor's lawn ornaments into “sexually suggestive positions.” Again, another cool move. One time, I rearranged my friend’s fridge magnet letters into sexually suggestive words, so Josh and I must be kindred spirits. Maybe one day, we can give the “mess off the field” tag to the kids who are committing “sexually suggestive crimes,” rather than to the kids doing dumb, harmless stuff.

On to Josh Rosen, the quarterback.

One of the things that stands out is how clean his mechanics are. He’s close to what I would call the ideal throwing motion. This is one of the traits his Los Angeles comrade and fellow first overall pick wannabe, USC’s Sam Darnold, doesn’t have.

First, look at how high his elbow gets. He’s causing zero stress on his shoulder blade, and that’s good.

He “slashes” a bit on his follow through, meaning his arm comes a little bit across his body after he releases, but that’s normal. No one is going to have a straight up-and-down motion, with the elbow starting from that good of a position.

We see Darnold’s elbow is much closer to his head, so he ends up going almost straight down. So, yes, it looks better than the slashing motion of Rosen, but I feel like he’s causing more stress on that shoulder.

Darnold is more a baseball pitcher. We can also see Darnold has a lean to the left that Rosen does not. We want to keep our spine pretty straight during the whole process.

They could both load their back legs a little more, meaning they could start pushing off their back legs with a little more force and knee bend. When it comes to follow-through, Rosen’s back leg is always coming forward. Darnold’s leg is going left before it straightens out. This is all in the hips. Darnold’s hips are locking, and they can’t rotate, so the leg kicks out behind. Rosen’s hips are fluid.

Just because I’m more critical of Darnold’s doesn’t mean I don’t think he’s a good quarterback. I think he’s special, worthy of all the praise he’s getting. Darnold doesn’t have horrible mechanics. He’s certainly not Patrick Mahomes when he was at Texas Tech. It’s just that Rosen’s are that nice.

Because Rosen’s mechanics are that good, he gets nice spin on the ball even from awkward angles.

He can still get off a nice throw, even though he’s falling down.

This is important, because quarterbacks don’t live in an ideal world. The pocket is never going to be perfect. We’re always going to have bodies around us, so we need to be able to throw from weird angles while keeping mechanics intact. Aaron Rodgers is one of the best at this.

Falling away from his target with a blitzer in his face, he still gets it to his receiver with a tight spiral, albeit a little low.

This one is awesome. He bobbles the snap, has to look down to pick the ball up, and throws a strike with a man putting him off balance.

How’d he do against decent defenses?

Rosen missed a lot of time to injury last season, but when he was healthy, he did play Texas A&M (pass defense in S&P+: 60th) and Stanford (26th), who were led by two of the top three draft picks, so we can look at those two games. He had one of the better games anybody had against Stanford, with his 156 passer rating against the Cardinal topping No. 2 pick Mitchell Trubisky’s 126, while his 343-yard day at A&M was hurt by two late turnovers.

The first thing I noticed was how often UCLA rolled him out and had him make sideline throws. He’s super accurate on the run.

He throws the sideline comeback well on the move. Defenses generally give you that route, because it’s a hard throw that needs to be accurate. You throw that bad boy a little too inside, and you’re chasing the cornerback to your own end zone. Rosen hit these consistently.

A tight split by the receiver to the bottom of the screen means space to work back to the sideline after the play action fake. The corner, No. 23, is in a zone turn, meaning he’s facing inside and to the QB, so he’s going to have a tough time covering that route. He has to either roll over the top and lose track of the receiver or hit the brakes and swing open his right leg to drive on the route. Either way, it’s tough, and this route is almost designed to get open versus this cornerback technique. Rosen also puts it in a great spot.

This one shows more of an off-balance throw on the run, because Rosen realizes he’s being chased from the backside. He’s a little high, but it’s still a really good throw.

Here we see him make a sideline throw from the pocket on this rounded sail route. The coverage is soft, and even though the cornerback is facing the receiver, Rosen delivers accurately from the opposite hash while under pressure. Defenses dare college quarterbacks to make that throw, and Rosen can.

He often shows great timing and is able to move through his progressions.

This isn’t the most difficult throw. It’s just a hitch route against an off corner, but we see Rosen ready to throw right when he finishes his five-step drop. This hitch is his first read, and he likes the matchup. If not, he could finish his drop and come back to the top side of the screen. If we can throw to our primary receiver, why not, right?

If we can’t, we have to reset our eyes and our feet and look elsewhere. Here, you see the same five-step drop, with Rosen looking at his backside receiver. The coverage is different, so he doesn’t want to throw there. There’s a press corner with a weak safety lurking over top, so instead, when he finishes his drop, he shifts his eyes to the strong side, hitching his feet forward to align himself. Another accurate throw in the seam right off that hitch step.

This is another accurate throw off a hitch step. I believe the hitch is part of the whole dropback, rather than him hitching to go to another read. He hitches to throw either what I’m assuming is an off-screen deep route or, if the safety stays over top, to the deep crossing route. He chooses the latter. Great throw.

Rosen has a curl/flat concept to the field side (the side with more grass between the ball and the sideline) and a sort of shallow cross/drive concept on the short side. Pre-snap, he sees the defense is playing one safety deep, and he knows curl/flat beats one-high-safety defenses, so he looks there right away. He wants to throw to his receiver, but No. 10 gets in the throwing window, so he moves his eyes toward the other linebacker, No. 44. UCLA has a dig route over that linebacker and shallow cross by the running back underneath him. No. 44 shoots up on the running back, allowing Rosen to hit the dig for a first down.

The tight end is wide open, so it’s an easy pitch-and-catch, but I like the composure he shows to get to that progression. He has a post/wheel concept to the left side of the screen. Post/wheel is great against one-deep-safety defenses, which we have here. It’s especially great against Cover 3 teams (three deep pass defenders), because the cornerback is going to jump on the post route, leaving the wheel wide open. Quarterbacks think this is going to be a touchdown any time they get to run it.

Unfortunately, it’s not there. It ends up being more of a Cover 1 look, so the “flat” defender picks up the wheel. Rosen can’t go to either the post or the wheel. This is why post/wheel is usually paired with an underneath route, because if both vertical routes are covered, there’s going to be a void. Rosen goes through his reads for a big gain.

Rosen doesn’t make a lot of egregiously bad decisions.

I picked three “bad” throws to highlight some stuff:

The read here is fine. Because it’s man coverage, he can either throw the in-breaking route to the middle slot or the out-breaking route to the inside slot. He decides to throw to the outside, because he’s not sure if a linebacker’s lurking inside. It’s a good decision; the throw under pressure from Myles Garrett is just bad. His outside receiver decides to start coming inside, which pulls the corner inside also, and instead of just being an incompletion, it’s almost a pick.

Throwing the ball into double coverage is no bueno. I wish I had a better view of how the routes developed, because I don’t know why Rosen is throwing the post if the safety is over top of it. It’s not a good decision, and he should probably check down to the running back. My issue is that I hate only using two receivers in the pattern.

Yes, there’s a check-down receiver, but young quarterbacks have trouble getting to that check-down often. They want to make plays, which leads me to my next point.

Excuse while I get on my soap box.

*clears throat*

We have this dilemma when we coach quarterbacks.

On the one hand, we tell them to go out and make plays. “Be a goshdarn playmaker out there!”

On the other hand, we tell them, “if the play isn’t there, TAKE A SACK OR THROW IT AWAY.”

This is a bad play. I’m not saying it’s a good play, but I get that the kid is trying to make plays for his team. I hate when people say the quarterback tried to do too much. If you want to mold a good football player, you’re going to have to live with some bad plays. This is one of them.

The kid is a baller. It will be interesting to see how he comes back after the injury, but if his play is anywhere close to his play the last two seasons, he could be the first quarterback taken in next years draft and quite possibly the first player overall.