#also i think im getting sick. that or smoking is catching up to me

[sparklingchim]

reckless | jjk

pairing: idol!jungkook x producer!reader

word count: 3.8k

tropes: idol!jungkook, producer!reader, established relationship, childhood best friends

rating: pg

warnings: smooches!!, jungkook’s being very touchy <3, smoking, lots of pda, one (1) butt squeeze, lots of teasing n flirting (they're in love ur honour), mentions of jk being on a diet, mentions of oc being bullied in the past, just soft lovesick jk <3

summary: a casual date, the skirt’s a little too short, the night a little too quiet, and jungkook's hands on you like he's never going to let go.

a/n: writing this was so therapeutic im this 🤏 close to breaking no contact ❤️ (also dare i say this is the maybe in another universe couple <3)

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

When you round the corner of the building, it’s not hard to find Jungkook.

He’s leaned against his Harley, dark clothes hanging easy on him, making him blend into the night. He has a faint frown on his face as he scans the empty street, toying with his lip ring like he’s lost in thought.

Once he spots you, though, everything softens. His eyes go all boba-round and warm, crinkling at the corners as a smile stretches across his face. That stupid pretty one that makes your chest feel full. He straightens up a little.

“Sorry for making you wait,” you say when you reach him, rising on your toes to wrap your arms around his neck. You hug him tightly. You melt into him without thinking. His hands naturally land on the small of your back, holding you close in his embrace.

“It’s okay, baby.” Jungkook leans back just enough to press a little kiss to your lips.

One of his hands dip even lower, brushing over the curve of your butt and the light fabric of your skirt. It doesn’t take long before he grazes bare skin, catching just the edge where the hem ends and you begin.

“How did it go?” he asks.

“Oh, it was so fun!” you beam, hands coming together in an excited little clap in front of your chest. You bounce slightly.

It had been a long day filming at one of the major companies in Seoul, part of that new show about the behind-the-scenes process of producing k-pop songs. The set was huge – too many lights, too many people, and so many cameras that you couldn’t even look around without feeling watched.

Everything felt loud and fast and intimidating, like you were going to mess up just by standing there.

“I was still really nervous in the beginning because there were a lot of people, but I did what you told me over the phone this morning and reminded myself that just being there already meant I belonged. That in a little while this would be just another thing that I’ve overcome.”

Dare you mention that just this morning, you felt like throwing up at the thought of today’s schedule – and yet, somehow, it turned into something you ended up loving. Getting to work on something you’re genuinely passionate about, surrounded by new people who love it just as much as you, felt amazing, inspiring.

“I told you it wouldn’t be as bad. You wanted to call in sick,” Jungkook reminds you, teasing you with an arched brow.

“I felt so anxious this morning!”

“You underestimate what you’re capable of.”

“Anyways.” Your shoulders slump slightly. “I’m exhausted now.”

“We can just go to my place if you want.” He gently tucks your hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek.

“No. I wanna go to the Han River with you,” you say, lips tugging into a pout.

Jungkook grabs the collar of his hoodie and pulls it over his head. A glimpse of his toned abdomen flashes before his black tee falls back into place. He swings the hoodie around your waist, draping it carefully before tying it snug at the front.

“Can’t drive my bike in a short skirt like this,” he explains in a mumble, smoothing the hoodie down over your butt.

“You helped me pick out this outfit this morning.”

If you’d been left alone in your anxious spiral this morning, you probably would’ve just thrown on whatever comfy thing was closest. But after Jungkook talked you down over the phone, his voice all soft and steady, you felt a little more okay. Okay enough to want to feel pretty, at least. So you stood in front of your overflowing closet, doors hanging open, letting him help you pick something out over facetime.

“Yeah well. You look pretty. I wasn’t thinking about logistics.”

You roll your eyes, but your face warms anyway. “You’re the logistics.”

“Sue me for getting distracted.” He pecks your temple, grinning as he pulls back.

Then he crouches next to the Harley, lifting the seat to reveal a small storage compartment. With a bit of manoeuvring, he pulls out a black helmet, matching his own.

He turns back to you and holds it out like it’s something delicate. “C’mere,” he murmurs, brushing your hair back gently before slipping the helmet over your head and securing the strap under your chin.

“Too tight?” he murmurs, adjusting the strap with the pads of his fingers.

You shake your head.

He grabs his own helmet from the handlebar, slipping it on with practiced ease. The engine rumbles to life with a twist of his wrist, loud and steady. He swings one leg over the bike and settles in before turning to glance at you over his shoulder. He holds his hand out to you.

“Hop on, baby.”

You take his hand, grabbing his shoulder with your other one for leverage as you climb on behind him. Your hands move to circle his middle once you’re properly sitting.

“You good?” He cranes his neck back to you, looking you over.

“Yes,” you reply, hugging his back. “Drive safely, please.”

The engine hums beneath you, the vibration slipping through your legs and settling in your chest as Jungkook coaxes the Harley onto the road.

The wind rushes past in silky ribbons, threading through your hair and curling under your skirt, making you curl closer into his back. His hoodie sways around your legs, and his scent, clean laundry and the last bit of cologne clinging to his skin, fills your lungs. You rest your cheek against the strong curve of his back.

Seoul twinkles around you in bits and pieces, like someone sprinkled glitter across the skyline. Streetlights blink down like stars with somewhere to be.

At a red light, Jungkook reaches for your hand without even looking, like it’s second nature. His fingers find yours and give them a slow, reassuring squeeze that makes your chest flutter. Then his hand drifts upward, trailing a lazy path along your arm before slipping behind him. His touch lands on your thigh, gently brushing his thumb over your skin. It’s just a small stroke, but enough to send a little spark dancing up your spine.

Eventually, the buildings thin out, replaced by the open stretch of the Han River, glistening under the city’s glow. Jungkook rolls into a quiet patch near the railing and cuts the engine.

“My mum would kill me if she knew I was riding a bike with you,” you say.

Jungkook huffs a laugh as he slips off his helmet. With a little shake of his head his hair falls back into place. “My mum would kill me for letting you ride it with me.” He turns slightly to look at you, flashing his soft dimple as he reaches to unclip your helmet.

“And yet,” you retort as he helps lift it off your head, “here we are.”

“Reckless,” he grins, brushing your hair back into place. “But cute.”

~

After a quiet walk along the river, you settle onto a bench facing the water.

“I even got a bit of the lyrics done for the song we finished producing,” you say, tucking your hands into your sleeves

Jungkook hums, slinging his arm over the back of the bench and letting it rest behind your shoulders, pulling you closer. “You need to let me listen to it.”

“I’m not giving you the song.”

“Ah, it’s always worth a try.”

“I’ll start working with you when you guys are over this...era of music you’re in right now.”

“Era of music?” Jungkook scoffs. “You find new words how to describe the fact that you don’t like the new music every time.”

“That’s not what I meant,” you whine, falling into his teasing. “It’s not that I don’t like the new music. It’s just not my type of production,” you quickly defend, truthful.

“At least let me listen to it.”

“When I’m finished you can.”

He lets out a small groan. “I’m terrible at being patient.”

“Oh, I know. Don’t have to remind me.” He’s an impatient boyfriend disguised as your number one fan (which, let’s be honest, he is). Always acting like he’s not trying that hard – when really, he’s the most obvious about it.

You roll your eyes every time he launches into a totally casual, totally unplanned, “hey, wanna show me a little something?” but you love it, every time. You love the way he sneaks into your world like that. Softly, stubbornly.

The sneaky bribes, the casual shoulder nudges, the way he tries to coax you into playing something, anything, even if it’s unfinished. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s just a late night, the two of you curled up on the couch, guitar perched on your lap, him humming half-written lyrics with his knees touching yours and a smile tucked into his voice. Songs that only live between you two.

“I’ll show it later to you,” you finally say. There’s not much of a fight when it comes to Jungkook. “Missed you.” You rest your head on his shoulder, hugging his arm.

“We should do something before my schedule gets crazy again.” Jungkook pats down his front pockets. He pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. “Like a small vacation?”

“I’d love that.”

You eye him as he slips a cigarette between his lips, cupping the flame with one hand as he lights it. The cigarette glows at the tip, smoke curling past his cheekbones and drifting in the opposite direction as he tilts his head to avoid blowing it your way. You still wrinkle your nose and lean your head away, your clutch around his arm loosening.

“You’re buying me ice cream for smoking next to me,” you mutter, half playful, half serious.

He exhales to the side again, then flicks the ash off the end with a small grin. “I was already gonna.”

You give him a look. “Not the point.”

“I know.” He tilts his head toward you, eyes tracing your face like he’s trying to read something only he can see.

When you saw Jungkook smoke for the first time while he was waiting for you in the dark, after not seeing each other for a very long time, you felt something twist in your chest. A mix of anger, sadness, and the sick realisation that time had changed him in ways you hadn't been there to see.

It messed you up a bit. Realising he changes in little ways when you're not around to witness it. It made you wonder if he's still the same Jungkook you've always known. If he's still your Jungkook.

Upon talking with him the entire night you quickly came to the realisation that Jungkook will be as much yours as you're as much his for the rest of your lives.

Maybe not in loud, dramatic ways, but in the quiet constants.

There is no version of your life where he doesn't exist - you're too intertwined with each other.

You sigh, the slightest hint of annoyance seeping through, but your fingers find his again anyway, slipping between them. He’s warm, even with the breeze coming off the water. The smoke lingers in the air between you, but his scent cuts through it – familiar, stupidly comforting.

“I say we go on a weekend trip to Jeju,” Jungkook says, his gaze fixed ahead.

Your head pops up. “That seafood restaurant,” you gasp, eyes widening.

He watches you, smiling at your excitement.

“We have to go,” you say, tugging his arm. “I still think about that abalone porridge from that tiny place by the harbour, you remember? With the old lady who called us lovebirds.”

“How could I not?” Jungkook laughs. “She told me to marry you or someone else would.”

You laugh too. “She wasn’t wrong.”

Jungkook snorts, flicking the half-smoked cigarette away and stubbing it out under his shoe. He turns back to you, and you feel his finger brush over your ring finger – it's a subtle, fleeting touch, but you wouldn’t dare miss it.

“I wouldn’t ever let that happen.” He leans in, catching you in a warm kiss.

“I love you,” you murmur against his lips, then pull back slightly. “But don’t kiss me after you’ve just smoked.”

Jungkook sighs like you’ve wounded him. Dramatically. Then he leans back in, peppering kisses along your cheek, down the slope of your jaw, and onto your neck, ignoring your protests with every one.

“Jungkook,” you warn through laughter, swatting at him half-heartedly. “We’re not at home.”

“But I still love you the same.” It’s a gentle murmur against your neck, nuzzling the skin there before leaving one last kiss just below your jaw.

“Jungkook.”

He finally pulls back, just enough to meet your eyes, and his teasing fades into something more softer, more quieter.

“I love the way you say my name.”

His mouth curves into the faintest smile, just slightly lifting the corner of his lips. But his eyes hold the sincerity behind his words, the soft glow of them making you feel like you’re the prettiest girl he has ever seen.

Every time Jungkook says this, you’re reminded of when you still wore uniforms and shared secrets in the quiet spaces between classes. When he said it for the first time, you thought he was poking fun at you like the others for pronouncing words differently because you grew up abroad, in the US.

He told you it sounded softer, rounder, like it meant something more when it came from you. He said it made him feel like someone safe. Someone yours.

He doesn’t say it often, but every time he does, you’re reminded of the past. And a soft, nostalgic feeling settles in your chest at the memory of fifteen-year-old Jungkook and you falling in love for the first time. It’s a bittersweet ache because when you think of that time, all you see is blue, but Jungkook was the one thing that still felt warm. Like hope tucked into a person.

And now, years later, even with everything you’ve both grown through and grown out of, that version of him still lives in moments like this. In quiet confessions and shared glances.

Heat nestles in your cheeks. You look away – straight at the river with the twinkling lights reflecting off of it. They remind you of his eyes.

“What?” His voice carries a teasing lilt, like he can’t quite place where your sudden shyness is coming from, but he’s definitely enjoying it.

“I dunno,” you mumble under your breath, hiding your face on his chest while keeping your eyes trained on the water. “I just get overwhelmed sometimes.”

“By what?”

“By how much I love you.”

“Wanna know something?”

“Hm?”

“I do too.”

You smile into his shirt, warmth blooming in your chest.

He presses a kiss to the crown of your head. “You really know how to kill a man,” he murmurs, voice low and a little awed.

You look up at him at that.

“I love you more,” he says eventually, like it’s the simplest truth. “Like... stupid amounts. Heart-aching amounts.”

You giggle, nose scrunching. “You’re so dramatic.”

“You started it.” He peers down at you, eyes soft. “Now let me be in love with you in peace.”

“I’ll let you love me in peace after we get snacks.”

“Will I ever witness a day where you don’t want something sweet?”

“Nuh-uh.” You shake your head with exaggerated seriousness. “The day can’t successfully end until you’ve had a sweet treat.”

“I actually think you’re singlehandedly keeping the candy industry alive.”

“I should be thanked, honestly.”

You rise to your feet, brushing invisible dust off your skirt as you stand in front of him. Jungkook doesn’t move right away. His eyes trail down to your legs, then to the hem of your skirt, fingers reaching out to tug it just a little lower with that automatic protectiveness he tries (and fails) to hide.

“You’re not cold, baby?” he asks, nodding toward his hoodie tossed over the bench behind him.

“No, I’m okay.”

Still sitting, he tugs you gently by the hips until you’re standing between his knees. His hands find your waist like magnets, thumbs stroking slow circles against the sliver of skin where your top has ridden up.

“I like this spot,” he murmurs, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your stomach, right above your belly button. You flinch a little, giggling, fingers slipping into his thick hair.

“You’re such a menace,” you say, voice light, but you don’t pull away.

“And you’re so pretty,” he says, looking up at you from where he’s still crouched against your tummy. His eyes are warm, sparkling. “Like... dangerously pretty. You know that?”

You bite your lip. “Stop.”

“I’m serious.” He rests his chin just above your waistband, arms looping around the back of your thighs like he’s not letting go anytime soon. “Sometimes I think you’re not even real.”

You roll your eyes, trying to hold back your smile. “That’s what people say right before they do something stupid.”

He grins up at you, squeezes your thigh just enough to make you squeak. “Then I must be about to do something really stupid.”

“I feel like that’s something for home. Not public.”

“You think so?” He tilts his head slightly.

“Jungkook.” It’s meant to be a chiding. But instead, it escapes softer than you intended, more like a puff of air. Like we shouldn’t but I wanna know anyway. Like stop talking... but actually, no – keep going please.

Instead of backing off like any reasonable person would, he smirks, then has the audacity to give your butt the lightest squeeze, fingers quick and shameless.

You squeal, jumping back. “Jungkook!”

Flashing you a smile that’s somehow both innocent and guilty, he casually grabs his hoodie from the bench and stands up.

You stare at him, half scandalized, half trying not to smile. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Come on,” he says, slinging the hoodie over one shoulder and glancing over at you with that smug softness that drives you crazy. “You wanted snacks, no?” He grabs your hand.

You narrow your eyes, but your feet already fall into step beside his.

~

It’s not a long walk until you reach the next convenient store.

“It looks kinda busy in there,” you tell Jungkook, peering through the glass. “I’ll just run in real quick. You can wait out here.”

Jungkook squints into the store, brows furrowed. “Who’s in there? I don’t want you going in alone if there’s some creeps.”

You roll your eyes and nudge him with your elbow. “It’s just a group of girls. Relax,” you say. “What do you want?”

He pulls his black card from his pocket. “Nothing for me. Just treat yourself, baby.”

You snatch the card from his hand. “Don’t mind if I do.”

~

You exit the store with a slightly overstuffed plastic bag tugging at your wrist. Being a girl who loves snacks, is hopelessly indecisive – and has her boyfriend’s black card – is a dangerous combo.

Jungkook tilts his head, trying to sneak a look inside the bag. “What’d you get?”

“Too much to name,” you say breezily, fishing out the ice cream resting right on top. “Got this for us, though.” It’s the ice cream that comes with two sticks so you can snap it in half and share. “I always think of you when I see this,” you admit, passing him one half after cracking it down in the middle.

“Ah, I didn’t want to eat any sweets today.”

“Too late,” you tease, nudging it closer to his mouth. “You already kissed me, so that’s off the table.”

He lets out a soft laugh. “That counts?”

“It absolutely does.” You raise your brows. “Now eat, please.”

He leans forward and takes a small bite straight from your hand. “Happy now?”

“Very much so.” You swipe the pad of your finger over a smudge of ice cream at the corner of his mouth, then lick it off with a grin.

He huffs a quiet laugh, head tilting as he watches you with that impossibly fond look. “You’re trouble.”

“Says you!”

With a sigh, he takes it from you. “You’re only getting away with this because you’re cute.”

“I know.” You smile around the ice cream in your mouth. “I can’t have a boyfriend who says no to a sweet treat.”

You fall into step beside him, walking slowly as you both nibble at the halves in your hands.

“I’m dieting.”

“For what?”

He doesn’t answer, just shrugs, proving your point.

That’s when your mind slips, just a little, to all the ways you used to be like this. All the self-destructive habits he had to gently pry from your grip. Jungkook has saved you many times. And you want to be there for him just as much he was there for you when no one chose you. When he was the only one who saw you – really saw you – and still chose to stay.

You reach for his hand, linking your fingers through his.

“I feel like sometimes you live your life like it’s harder than it has to be. Like you’re holding yourself back, setting rules that you don’t have to follow.”

Jungkook lets out a quiet breath. “I know,” he mutters, squeezing your hand. “You’re the first person who made me think maybe I deserve ease too. You make it feel okay to slow down.”

“Am I?” you ask sceptically. You hope you do, but are you actually?

He tips his ice cream in your direction.

You laugh. “Baby steps.”

You glance up at him. He’s licking his ice cream, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth like he doesn’t even realize it’s there. It makes your chest ache a little. In that sweet way.

“Jungkook?”

His head turns slightly, face lit soft by the golden glow of a nearby streetlamp. His eyes flick to you, a soft, curious glint catching in them as your gaze meets his. You lean your head against his arm.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for sticking with me through every version of myself.”

It’s a thought that catches you off guard – maybe not entirely, you’re not sure – but suddenly it’s there, clear and undeniable. A reminder that, through every change, every version of yourself, he’s never left. Whether you’ve been at your best or your worst, he’s always stayed. And sometimes, it’s hard to wrap your mind around the fact that someone can love you through all of that.

“There’s never been a version I didn’t love,” he says quietly, like it’s not something he even has to think about.

Your heart stumbles a little, eyes stinging in that warm, fuzzy way that only he can cause.

“You make it really easy, you know,” he adds, brushing his thumb gently across the back of your hand. “Loving you. I don’t even think about it. I just do.”

You blink up at him, lips twitching into the kind of smile that only he gets to see. “I still don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

He tugs you closer to him, your sides brushing with each step.

“You existed.”

[n3ptoonz]

mind writing for the Earthrealm men getting caught masturbating by the reader??👀

mk1 hcs: how the earthrealm guys react to getting caught 🥩 👊🏾 by reader

warnings: suggestive; a lil steamy, i play too much (was sick and ovulating while writing this help me god), GERAS SPOTTED???

reverse roles here

Johnny Cage

Left the door open on purpose. WIDE OPEN. There he lied on his silk linens, blasting Marvin Gaye and going to town without taking his eyes off the door. Honestly wouldn't be surprised if he added a sexy ninja mime (i will never stop referencing past games) to act out him getting caught

When you "catch" him all you can do is facepalm, but it's outta love. Expect to have him let loose 50 cheesy pick up lines, dick in hand and all. Like he would still jerk it like he wasn't stuttering over his words once you took over

If you join the cheesy line fun, he may or may not cum on the spot. He loves when you're playful back. And tease him a lot. But like. Way more than he teases you. He can and will fall in love all over again (he will also bust quickly to this too. MULTIPLE times)

Raiden

This cutie pie. Snookums bbg. Blushing like a fool because you managed to overhear him utter your name multiple times in a hushed voice dripping with lust

I fully see him falling out of his bed and scrambling to pull his covers down with him just to cover his lower half. He gets even more nervous when he sees you not even attempting to leave, but instead having an inviting look on your face

Cue the comically loud gulp sound effect. His pretty brown eyes never left your figure, sitting on the hardwood floor with a painful erection between his thighs under a rather comfortable blanket. You'd have to ask if he wants help from your own lips, otherwise no sound would be in the room other than steady breathing and his heart thumping loud as hell (he says yes at the speed of light)

Smoke

Deer in headlights. One minute ago he was furiously zerkin it like there was no tomorrow, slutty sounds escaping his lips with no shame. Now he's like...oh...! You heard that..? Ahahah..

Would apologize so many times he ends up doing it in Czech. Please tell him it's okay😭In fact you'd only shut him up by telling him it was hot

Activates self indulgence beam I think...he'd be into it if you told him to finish what he started. Like sitting in a chair and watching him and he's not allowed to close his eyes- IM GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF (fic idea huehue)(if you write it before me, tag me.) But also albeit he stumbles over his words, he'd find some sort of way to ask for your help

Geras

WHAT!!! GERAS I KNOW WTF WHAT yeah he may be an immortal being but the man has his own needs. And is it even a question like...you're wondering how THAT fits in his hand like jesus christ you're going to kill someone sir (i got next)

It's nothing extravagant. He wasn't summoned by Liu Kang for a while, so he figured why not? He doesn't get much time to himself so let's crank one real quick 👀

Think of any scene from mk11 where he got "hurt" and was grunting, that's the sounds he was making and you could hear it through his door. But you thought he was hurt, so you came through the door just to be greeted by a SNAKE in his grip

Surprisingly calm...almost too calm...did he predict this? Who knows, all we know is you interrupted him and would definitely like your help. Does not shy away from this request too but that's how we like it 😈

Liu Kang

A similar incident with Geras. You overheard him while you wandered through his mansion trying to find and surprise him. So when you finally found his bedroom door and barged in, thinking he needed help, there he was dick in hand and completely unexpecting

He would try to remain calm but it would be clear as day that he was nervous. He'd quickly cover up with a pillow and give a small smile, asking if you needed anything like he wasn't shirtless and heart pumping at mach speeds

In his mind was like a static sound as he tried to focus on not getting hard again looking at you, feeling a little guilty as he couldn't help his instincts. I guess the God contract never said escaping from mortal desires! You offer to join the fun and he's like HUH...well, if you insist! (again he looks calm but is very, very excited, i promise)

Kung Lao

He had been schmeat beating after his long days of training so this isn't a new occurrence for him. But obviously, you've never walked in on him before. He was always able to get it done before he saw or met with you

Normally you rendezvous to Madam Bo's but you're like hm, why not bring him something to eat since you know he had a long day! Once you entered it didn't take you long to hear him calling your name from his room, so naturally you thought he knew you were here. But...it started to become like a chant. His voice breathy and deep (save me shaolin monk save me-) So when you check it out you find him with his head thrown back, hair messy and coated in sweat

The favoritism is leaking through the screen LMFAOOO He heard the door creak and yelped, asking why you were there so early out of breath you held the to-go bag in your hands with pure shock, immediately getting the idea to tease the shit out of him. He does it to you all the time, why not return the favor?! And he's like well?? Are you gonna help??? UH YA I WAS GETTING TO THAT😹😹

Scorpion

Kuai Liang rarely ever has the time to even talk to you, let alone talk to himself! So one of the few times he didn't think you were showing up to the temple but he had time to himself that he didn't think would last very long, he just needed to relieve his own stress real quick

Damn, he forgot he invited you to the temple since it was a slow day. You were appointed to his room by one of the recruits and sang his name, opening the door to the sound of squelching and panting

Your little song came to a stop at the same time of his gasp; eyes locked on yours. He wanted to smile, and drop everything to greet you like the situation wasn't what it was, but before he could even begin to hide himself you calmly close the door and watch his demeanor quickly switch to smug...it's gonna be a long day for the both of you😮‍💨

Sub-Zero

I'm using the same scenario from my first bi-han fic bc i said so, bite me!

He was avoiding you because he couldn't control himself around you any longer. The more he thought about you and how you pissed him off to great lengths before has him wanting to do terrible...terrible things (shoutout loki)(i've never seen loki) but he must suffice with pleasuring himself to the thought of you, the way your voice rang in his head, and how hot you looked patching up his injuries

When you caught him oh he was so sexually frustrated he couldn't think straight, panically pulling you into his room dick swinging and all. The scowl on his face didn't match the pink blush that was starting to form at how you looked at him. Why you were at his door is the least of his concerns, if you don't help him take care of this right now he might lose his mind 🥹

Kenshi Takahashi

He wasn't supposed to be last but I accidentally clicked on a tumblr notification and lost my notes on him so. LETS TRY THIS SHIT AGAIN.

When you caught him he was so so embarrassed. Don't let the calm and hot and sexy demeanor fool you, when it came to you it's like he's a clone; unrecognizable. He was stuttering and trying to justify whatever you just saw but then also asks why you showed up unannounced

You explain he said to come around this time a few days ago to spend some time together, and now he was mentally kicking himself bc how could he forget something so simple?! But hey, the fact that you weren't even budging, and even approaching him with a smile on your face told him all he needed to know. And who is he to say no to some help from a fine individual like you???

a/n: cranked this request out for y'all (fic might be posted today) this is a gift from me to you guys 😄 happy christmas and merry holidays to any and all cultures that do or don't celebrate during this time fr ❤️

[peachy-wolfhard]

The Lair Games

a/n: raaa i love the lair games best mfing episode so whimsical and fun raaaaa also im obsessed with lair games cheerleader hc, italics are interviews (i didnt put everyones interview in only the readers)

Let me know if you would like to be on my tmnt taglist!

Warnings: donnie is a drama queen, The Incident, throwing up mentioned

Word count: 702

I love the lair games and Donnie sm

Sigh the lair games, the time when only Leo wins and then spends an entire year gloating

While it is very fun watching everyone compete a part of you feels bad for Donnie because he NEVER even gets close to winning

That is…until this year

Every year you take it upon yourself to be Donnie’s cheerleader because oh man he needs it. As long as you’re there cheering even as he's losing miserably, he's a little less bitter about it

This year was going to be different though you could feel it! History was about to be made

April had told you before that she was going to record the games, and everyone was even more excited

“Sigh, my legacy of losing will be cemented in film history”

It's now the most anticipated day of the year, the day that everyone looks forward to and trains for this year the prize would be…Leo’s room!

The first game of the day was Handstand Hill Bomb and like every year Leo won first place but this year Donnie won second!

“Let’s go Donnie Let’s go!” you cheer as it’s almost time for the next game, Pipe Goop Chicken

“My personal least favorite game if Donnie wins this one he's not kissing me for a month I swear”

“Let’s go Donnie Let’s go!” you cheer once again

“Do you have any more creative cheers?”

“No, get what you get, and don't throw a fit”

And he won! (Kind of a win-lose scenario, beat Leo and rub it in his face and lose smooches)

Win after shocking win Donnie acquired with Leo hot on his tail and you as his loyal cheerleader yelling catchy cheers while shaking purple and black pompoms

That was until…the incident

“y/n can i get a comment about…the incident?”

“Sleep with one eye open Leo. That’s all I will say on the matter”

While Donnie was recovering Leo began his winning streak

“Cough cough…y/n is that you?”

“Donnie you’re not dying stop acting like a sick Victorian child”

“Take me to the surface…one last time…” he says pulling the blanket up to be under his arms

“Shut up,” you say scratching under his chin then sadly going back to the games

“My moment!” he shouts as you walk back to Splinter announcing Leo’s next victory

Just as Splinter announces Leo’s perfect 10 Donnie appears!

“Not so fast, my friend!” Donnie announces masked in smoke (drama queen I love him)

“I’m here brother, lets bowl”

“When Donnie showed up I was stunned! Just a minute before he was pretending he was a sick Victorian child,” you explained to the camera

After all of Donnie’s dramatics, it was time to bowl. He launches himself off and attempts to get his ankle into his shell

Just as he was able to he’s launched into the mannequins knocking all down…

…But one making it a tie and after consulting the rules the next event was left up to a…

Splinter’s choice

“I knew that rat man would come up with something sinister but I didn't think it would be THAT sinister!”

The final event would be the Slippery Whippery Woo?

“If I vom please hold my hair April”

“We can hold each other's hair”

“Hold my nonexistent hair please”

“We will Mikey”

Your cheerleading was quickly forgotten about not knowing if you should root for your boyfriend to catch his slipper rat father or just leave

The match was quickly over with the words “Do you know what rhymes with second place? Leo’s face!”

“I-i- need a shower…I will claim my prize when i'm clean”

As Leo moves out of his room, April closes in for a final interview, and Donnie gloats

“I’m very proud of you Donnie,” you say kissing your hand and touching his forehead

“You’re very lucky i’m touching you right now,” you say, a lovesick smile plastered to both of your faces

Later that night the two of you are unable to sleep

The one thing Leo didn’t mention is that Splinter’s snores are amplified by the vent directly in his room

Needless to say, Leo got his room back very quickly

[insufferable-coolkid]

its 6am you know what that means

you probably dont know what that means however its time for me to mindlessly ramble i fucking guess

im currently listening to gamzee and dirk asmr idk man but this is the funniest shit ever theyre talking about chungus n shit and dirk starts traumadumping and sigma males get brought up

anyways putting that aside how exactly do i ramble mindlessly

i had some shit rotating thought my mind but that makes it not mindless is it

i forget all of my plans as soon as i start em

uuuuuuuh what fucking ever

mindless self indulgence lets do that yeah sure thats my current interest yeah okay so msi is really fuckin cool because theyre really self aware with their lyric ya know what i mean

i mean yeah sometimes breaking the 4th wall gets a bit corny after a while but i can appreciate the satiricallity of it if thats a fucking word

oh hey sleepy ezra makes a new word or whatever the fuck

i do enjoy satire because you can say anything or do anything then say that shit was a social experiment or whatever like i can kill someone and be like "no bro its an ironic joke you wouldnt know" or wouldnt get it or something like that

im scared of twitter cuz like it sounds like hell then i remember im on tumblr like this is the shit kankri was based on

was he

god damnit i dont remember shit

but i digress

im scared of twitter anyways it sounds worse than tumblr which at first sounds like it would be hard to do but ive heard some shit okay

like yeah ive seen shit on tumblr hell ive seen a lot but i somehow feel like twitters worse and on a related note lets normalize deadnaming twitter cuz what the fuck is x

on the topic of this all which at this point i dont think there is a topic however i feel like a lot of the batshit fuckin crazy shit here is satire but also its like oh no you fucking killed someone guess i fell for the joke haha i took the fuckin ragebait i guess

i joke about this shit but some people use joking terms as some kinda shield like no bro not everything is a joke if you harm yourself or others saying "its satire" no dude you just killed 17 people and all the bodies where found dude you cant satire your way outta this one pal

like oh your stash of illegal fuckin drugs is ironic the police suddenly are laughing their socks off god damn this shits funnier than the average bo burnham show oh wow thats such a god damn knee slapper bro lets stop that

speaking of drugs what the hell even classifies as a drug because what do you mean caffeine is a drug they sell that shit at gas stations what makes a drug "too illegal" to do that with and some are able to be sold medically n shit and some are legal in some places but some arent

like god damn dude how dare a dude wanna catch a vibe n do meth or some shit but nooo apparently thats "too illegal" of a drug well now imma chug 5 red bulls get drunk off my ass while smoking weed because thats fucking okay i guess

shout out bo burnham actually listening to him hes sick as fuck

[976-e-v-i-l]

vent for sillliesssss. bpd talk. body/nsfw talk. religious trauma talk. self harm talk. DDDNE* note: there are probably typos

*DDDNE stands for "DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT", which in short means if you dont like the warning you saw do not open this. it is exactly as it says.

i literally dont know what to do with myself. i feel fucking insane and stupid and needy and all kinds of other awful words i could use to describe myself as. im so scared im driving away the one person i NEVER want to do that to and the thought makes me want to be even worse and even crazier??? what kind of backwards ass fucking stupid logic is that.

he is the love of my life so. it scares me beyond words. i would do anything for this man and i feel like half of the time i come off as an uncaring cruel bitch.

and not to mention the sex/religious bullshit lmaoaoaoaooooo. for some reason the persistent thought that im an evil sinner and masturbating will send me to hell has been on my mind. i have trauma related kinks and recently ive been feeling nothing but disgust and anguish because of them. everything makes me feel sick and guilty because i have needs as a sexual being and i dont like it at all. it makes me wanna peel my skin back or do something so horrible to myself that it saps either the life of the thoughts out of me completely

also i think i literally need like a spreadsheet of affirmations or some bullshit like "he loves you" "he wont leave you" "you arent secretly manipulating people" "tiny changes dont mean abandonment" etc etc.

and god, my stubbornness. i feel horrible. this poor man deals with the bullshit daily. i do stupid shit that he tells me not to do and then im shocked when the undesirable outcome is the one i get (e.g, smoking too much weed and getting paranoid). or worrying about things he tells me not to worry about and stressing myself out beyond whats normal. he tells me not to worry about money or moving bullshit (cuz hes moving here soon) and i still do and i still ask and try to input even tho hes told me a few times now that if he NEEDED ME HE WOULD ASK. idk why he has to keep repeating himself but i know its getting annoying (or is it?? idfk. i dont know the inside of his brain, maybe it isnt and hes fine with it) . <- great example of the assuming his thoughts shit that i do.

the worst part is that im self aware of ALL OF THIS. WHY. and yet its so fucking hard to catch or stop. idk what to do but im just sitting here in the living room now looking at dbt skills and shit to practice cuz im just. eugh.

i can tell i might not sleep tonight. the thought of sleeping makes me anxious. yay insomnia.

i think it worries me so much because i wake up having a borderline panic attack almost every day. my brain immediately starts in the morning on its bullshit and it sucks but i think im also scared he just wont be there anymore one of these days. long distance fucking sucks.

the bullshit "red flags in guys!!!111!!1!1!!!" stuff on the internet that i heard non stop growing up has stuck to me in the worst ways possible. its a constant battle telling myself that no, he is not using me or cheating on me because this one bitch from 2016 that said "men who dont post you all of the time are cheaters". at least i can control that thought lmao. on the contrary though i worry because i dont really know any of his friends. i'd like to but im so... eugh. i get jealous easy and prefer to avoid contact that isnt w my select few people. i also feel bad bcs what if its weird and toxic and bad to wanna be in his friend groups with him??? what if thats overstepping? thats part of why i never ask to join servers hes in or talk to people, because ive got it so in my head that its bad to wanna be involved with his stuff because "it makes me look insane".

whats worse: gf who completely avoids and dislikes all of your friends or gf who wants to be included w all of your friends?

idk.

if you read this far down thanks for listening ? reading? whatever. much love.

[seastarblue]

“Chase”

OKAY HERE IM DOIN IT HAVE WRITING (pulled this outta my head a few days ago)

(this is a two parter btw here is part two)

~~~

Li Hua was going back to prison.

That is, unless she could outrun the guards chasing her. She wasn’t worried, though—she had done this dozens of times before on these streets and was confident this chase would be just like the others. She was a little irked that she was being chased in the first place, but she supposed there was no complaining about it now.

Li Hua turned corners, tried to blend into the late afternoon market crowds, dumped at least seven stray buckets of water to make the guards slip, and sprinted as fast as she possibly could, but the stubborn guards were still somehow on her tail. One of the men even nicked her with something, as she felt hot blood running down her arm. She felt annoyed and a little worried at this point, but also a little comforted by the fact that the Guard either got better soldiers or the existing ones stepped up. Either way, she knew she needed to do something more extravagant.

She ran into a dead end, and looked up at the parapet dangling about six times her height above her. The guards were shouting to their comrades, out of breath from the long chase, but still sounding triumphant. These idiots have no idea what’s coming to them, she smirked to herself, clutching a small thin glass vial, her salvation sloshing around inside it.

She let out a breath to steady herself, and turned to the guards now huffing out her rights of arrest, getting handcuffs ready for her. “You know I missed like, half of that, right? Repeat it for me?” she called out, dark brown eyes glittering with mischief as she held the vial behind her back, being careful not to accidentally open it.

The lead guard stopped her recitation and blinked at the outlaw. She made a quick motion to the others, and they started moving towards her slowly, one carrying a slightly bloodied shortsword and the other carrying handcuffs. “You are under arrest,” the swordsman said, “come with us quietly and we will do you no harm.”

Li Hua had to hold herself back from outright punching the man for lying right through his teeth. He already had harmed her, the wound from earlier smarting quite a bit. I really hope I still have those bandages…

“… you know what? I think I’ll go riiiiight there, thank you.” she said, pointing to a space above her. 

Before the guards could reply, Li Hua held her breath and threw the fragile vial onto the ground, and the entire alleyway filled with green-gray smoke. Her wound pinched even more, and she decided against somehow forcing laxatives down the now stunned guards. Instead, she turned her gaze to the parapet above, and focused on a point slightly higher than that. She closed her eyes, made to leap upwards, and…

She was running before her feet even hit the roof. Her stomach lurched, as it always did after using her teleporting magic, but it could have been from the smoke bomb or the sheer anxiety she felt. She remebered to take another breath when she was far away from the area. Li Hua found herself under a bridge overlooking the canal, and the outlaw was huffing and puffing more than she'd like to admit. After a few minutes, she slid down into a sitting position with her back against the wall, and tried to calm the panic now settling. She was nearly caught. That thought whirled around in her head over and over again, and it made her feel even more sick. That was the closest they'd ever been to catching her. She couldn't go back to prison. Not after what happened the first time. Not again.

 Not again, not again, not again... Li Hua's heart beat wildly in her chest. She squeezed her eyes shut. Blood roared in her ears. She shivered despite the warm evening. Not again, not again, not again... Her hands shook with the bandages still in them. Her vision darted from corner to shadowy corner, trying to find a way out, a way where no can could see her, a way to get away from them. 

Li Hua put her head in her hands and sobbed. She didn't notice the small clink coming from behind her.

Something else was near.

~~~

[thewitchkingiscool-ace]

Ok the problem with the Witch King is that he has SO MUCH POTENTIAL but never really follows through. His name is the goddamn Witch King, so he's got that going for him. But he never actually does anything sick enough to warrant that badass name. He can't catch 4 fat farmers in the laziest town on the planet, his poisoned knife stab doesn't work, he loses on the Pellennor fields, and then he gets killed by some lady cause he just couldn't stop himself from monologuing. He rides some sort of pseudo dragon, you'd think he'd just be slaughtering bros left and right, but all he does is take L after L.

Give me those sick robes, that badass crown, and a dragon to ride on and you bet your ass I'm just gonna open can after can of whoop-ass on the men of the west. 3 weeks and I'd have conquered Gondor, Rohan, and Isengard. I'd be sitting in the Shire smoking fat blunts of the Southfarthing's finest, while my fat hobbit-slaves tore apart the Elves' road to the Sea.

I'd be such a better Witch King that that bitchmade Angmar

Ok. Thank you for this ask cus im rlly bored rn lol

Imma have to argue with what you said about his morgul blade “not working”. Frodo was literally hours away from dying/becoming a wraith bc of that sword and even Gandalf was surprised at how long he was able to resist “fading” as they call it in the books. He says, and i’ll quote the book exactly, “You were beginning to fade. A few more hours and you would have been beyond our aid. But you have some strength in you, my dear hobbit!” and when i watched the 1978 version of LotR, Gandalf or someone said smth along the lines of “i know many strong warriors who would have easily been overcome by that wound”. And also, the poison was delayed because Aragorn put some Athelas, the healing plant, on the wound.

And also what you said about him not doing anything sick enough to warrant the name. They call him the Witch-King cus he was the king of Angmar for 7 CENTURIES! In RotK he straight-up shattered Gandalf’s staff immediately! Many people call him “Sauron’s deadliest servant”. He was literally Sauron’s second-in-command!

And yes, i do agree with you about what you said about Eowyn killing him, how he was “too busy monologuing” but come on, in a franchise that good with a villain that cool, can’t you just allow him one monologue? Also the reason he allowed himself to monologue in the first place was because he had had his prophecy foretold, and that prophecy stated that he would not be slain by the hand of any man. So, in a battlefield that he thinks is full of men, why would he worry? If he hadn’t been told that prophecy, he would have been more on guard.

Like i said, it’s pretty hard to change my mind on the fact that the Witch-King is the best villain in LotR. He does have flaws here and there but hey, so does Sauron! It’s what actually allows the story to progress.

[themagicmusicman]

hehehhe

1. mugs for literally everything

2. uhhhh not a big fan of either? although when i have a lollipop and its really cold out it looks like im smoking so thats kinda silly

3. bubblegum because it doesnt cause me the worst sensory overload

4. it went from “loud but has potential” to “quiet but had potential” (wheres my potential now, huh? /silly)

5. cans unless theyre in the glass bottles bcs those make a funny noise

6. tomboy, grunge and goth are all pretty sick (but i wear/wanna wear grunge more bcs oghhh gender)

7. headphones all day

8. tv shows just because i dont have to be invested for 2 hours straight and theyre easier to rewatch

9. oooo idk summer doesnt really have a smell to me. like autumn has a lot of distinct smells (but maybe thats just because of singing autumn days in primary school), as do spring and winter but summer? mmm probably when i smell my neighbours having a barbecue and forget for a minute how much i hate barbecues lmao

10. probably basketball just because i didn’t despise it and also basketballs smell so good. that or like. tennis or some shit

11. whatevers lying around my kitchen that i can easily shove down my throat in the 5 minutes before i have to catch my bus lmfao

12. sophisticated hat manoeuvres by mad dog mcrea

13. lanyard bcs they can be fun colours and i can decorate them with silly gay pins

14. uuhhhhh fuck idk man like. i actually dont know i cant think of anything lmao (i do not crave sweet shit Ever)

15. i dont think ive ever had to read one as an assignment per se, but i loved studying the handmaids tale

16. fluctuates between man spreading halfway down the chair or curled up in a ball (especially when im painting)

17. my £20 boots that are falling apart

18. when its thundering but also really humid out. thats the shit

19. usually spread out across the whole mattress, or sometimes on my side if my back hurts

20. i love writing in notebooks but i usually lose them so i write the most just in my notes app

21. how long do you have hdjshfksb uhh. i obsessed a lot about food (for instance i wouldnt eat anything other than carrots and haribos until the age of 3), music artists/bands (or just on having one of those shitty mp3 players), later on it became more about shows, horror games or podcasts, especially analog horrors (iirc it went backrooms, mandela catalog, salad fingers, gemini home entertainment, dhmis, vita carnis, boisvert)

22. any transmasc who played a female character in whatever they did (specifically kizzy edgell and morgan wilkinson)

23. ripping my eyelashes out one by one when i get stressed

24. UNAKITE

25. unironically the fucking whats on your plate song from cbeebies

26. hibernate until it stops (although i do like swimming when its really hot)

27. cuddling with My Boys under a blanket with hot drinks and snacks watching whatever silly shit we can find (if one of you is seeing this heyyyy,,, soon pls 🙏🙏)

28. am i drinking enough // mad dog mcrea (/hj), this body // nemo, boyfeel // destroy boys, blush // wolf alice, serotonin // jessia

29. idk just dont be a dick and respect my boundaries

30. the dunes near my house for,,, ahem no particular reason 👀

31. i have never kicked ass ever but if i was to, it would be in my black cargo trousers with all the chains, baggy shirt, and enough gay jewellery and makeup to put someone who doesn’t understand that transmascs can wear typically fem stuff into cardiac arrest

32. uhhh “chris is that a weed!?”, the guy screaming along to careless whisper in his car, woman dancing flaps away into space, fish titties, you better watch out you better watch out you better w

33. lmao

34. the fucking edf energy ad with zingy it in. that little guy lives rent free in my head

35. 2am usually

36. probably some facebook minion meme my mum showed me when i was 3 or smth

37. duffel bag

38. depends what kind of tea

39. lemon meringue pie bcs i dont like cake jsjdbdksf

40. a guy on the back of my bus set a can of deodorant on fire and poured hand sanitiser down the aisle so everyone slipped when they got off

41. neim

42. depends which one is more accessible/bigger

43. hoodie

44. i like the really fresh lemon-y sea salt smelling ones

45. fantasy

46. baggy vest and boxers

47. either brie or the shit with cranberries in it (blue cheese is also quite nice)

48. pineapple. spiky on the outside, sweet on the outside and i make cum taste great. i mean

49. hello jon

50. probably just me and my mates doing stupid shit as really inappropriate times

51. long term: grades and jobs. short term: being forced to go to a lunch party with my mum’s church where everyone deadnames me :p

52. i just like anything thick and blocky. or gothic

53. sore and covered in paint

54. that getting a job is a really long and stressful process :D

55. of new york

56. getting sloshed at every dnd session i go to (it probably meant like. christmas or whatever but nah drunk dnd)

57. n/a im amazing and never struggle with anything /j

58. rollerskating, painting, being able to write smut (vaguely), cooking when i can be bothered

59. something gay probably

60. junji ito

61. in heartstopper “oh. you’re being gay. good job, carry on”

62. seveN?? uhhok,,,,, nimona, jonny d’ville, charlie spring, red guy from dhmis, lady macbeth, the iron lung jumpscare, trimigasi (smh all these hoes want me for my samurai plus)

63. i’d have a hhc club, 5 songs i’d definitely play would have to be concrete angel // darren styles and chris unknown, dont know how to make you happy // joey riot, feel the melody // s3rl, jaded af // s3rl, safety net // alaguan

64. cool maths games

65. yuppp quite a few

66. tiger lily, flame lily, jasmine, lavender

67. dont have any, my luck is perfect (lying)

68. once tried cucumber flavoured crisps from japan. that shit was vile

69. (nice) most of the teletubbies actors were involved in some weird shit. the women who played po was a porn actress, the guy who played tinky winky died of alcoholism and froze to death in liverpool uh. the other two are fine theyre the good ones

70. right

71. damn idk like. the really overdone big spots that you see a lot of cartoon or childrens characters wearing

72. french or geography

73. have you ever dipped a pickle in a chocolate milkshake? bcs uh,,, i havent,,,,,,

74. pain scale is a scam and i need ibuprofen at all times always

75. i only lost it at like. 10 or 11?

76. roast potatoes

77. i have no idea i never grow plants

78. mm coffee bcs it wouldnt be atrociously expensive

79. neither

80. earth

81. fireflies i god damn hate lightning bugs

82. console

83. drawing

84. podcast

85. nah

86. mythology

87. cookies

88. abandonment

89. testosterone

90. my partners

91. i never make mistakes 😼🔥

92. boxes. theyre so silly

93. fairy lights

94. i don’t actually know. i get called ginger a lot lmao

95. autumn

96. geometry dash fr

97. jonny dville

98. 2 (mine and my mothers)

99. stone age

oi @neim-batteries-not-included cmere (if you dont wanna do them all i highly suggest you do 4, 6, 12, 21, 24, 28, 40, 44, 58, 62, 66, 76, 78 (bcs i think youll struggle with it) and 98/99 (the last one))

weird asks that say a lot

in

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

7. earbuds or headphones?

8. movies or tv shows?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

12. name of your favorite playlist?

13. lanyard or key ring?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

18. ideal weather?

19. sleeping position?

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

21. obsession from childhood?

22. role model?

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

25. first song you remember hearing?

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

28. five songs to describe you?

29. best way to bond with you?

30. places that you find sacred?

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

32. top five favorite vines?

33. most used phrase in your phone?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

35. average time you fall asleep?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

38. lemonade or tea?

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

41. last person you texted?

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

44. favorite scent for soap?

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

47. favorite type of cheese?

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

51. current stresses?

52. favorite font?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

55. favorite fairy tale?

56. favorite tradition?

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

62. seven characters you relate to?

63. five songs that would play in your club?

64. favorite website from your childhood?

65. any permanent scars?

66. favorite flower(s)?

67. good luck charms?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

70. left or right handed?

71. least favorite pattern?

72. worst subject?

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

82. pc or console?

83. writing or drawing?

84. podcasts or talk radio?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

87. your greatest fear?

88. your greatest wish?

89. who would you put before everyone else?

90. luckiest mistake?

91. boxes or bags?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

93. nicknames?

94. favorite season?

95. favorite app on your phone?

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

98. favorite historical era?

[pomegranatedecay]

My grandmother is sick.

But she started going to therapy, working through trauma, taking more medication than before. I'm glad she's ("doing better"?).

The first thing I did when i got down here was weight myself. I didnt know how to feel seeing the numbers, but still told my grandma I wasn't hungry despite not eating and it being 2pm.

I already lost weight. More than healthy, probably.

My mom keeps commenting on it. It was one of the first things she did when i got to the trailer; she insisted on being in the room while i changed to talk to me and "catch up" and i was too tried to say no. I wasn't hungry then either. For different reasons, I think.

She says I shouldn’t be vegetarian. That it's too much for my still healing body after years of destroying it.

But then she also says that I wasted my money on buying belts at school because Im going to gain weight.

Im going to gain weight. Im entering my 20s soon and Im going to gain weight.

I tell her i cant because not one of us can afford to buy me a whole new wardrobe. She only shakes her head. Im still not hungry, but shes getting displeased and the spiders are mking their way up my back, through my heart, and into my throat. I eat a salad; i couldnt eat what they were making for dinner anyway.

She says nothing about it.

She keeps checking through my bags. Telling me what to expect. as if i havent packed before. as if i havent traveled before. As if i havent been to an airport before. the little cresant moons are taking form in my palms, but i console her worries anyway. i was born to be a shield afterall.

i promised myself i wouldn't cry anymore. that was before the antidepressants. i want to cry like i used to. now, it only comes in bursts; a tear or two before cutting off. i want to scream and sob and choke.

i get this subborn weight on my chest instead.

all i did friday morning was smoke in bed and dread going home.

I slept through the afternoon. Satyed up until 7am. Saturday, rinse and repeat.

my grandma is sick. my grandfather is grouchy. old people have more drama than college students.

i stole the golf cart for a few hours to get out. i met birds. and a turtle in the middle of the road. i named him jameson and we road together on the way back to the pond where i saw others like him. the waters pretty, reflecting like in a hypnotizing way

i didnt want to let him go.

the fuel is running low and i need to go back.

my grandma notices things about me. she always has but as ive gotten older shes been more vocal about them.

she says the light is lacking from my eyes. she says that shes sorry it was taken from me. she says she would do anything to see it there again.

she says i dont need to be quiet here, but im used to tip toeing around everything and being careful of everything i do and say, least it end in yelling.

she tells me i wasnt always this scared to live. i dont say anything back. i eat the pizza she bought me.

i throw up afterwards, even when i actually wanted to keep it down this time. i dont know what wrong with me.

sometimes i wish i could meet my creator face to face...

I have a couple of things i want to tell him.

but sometimes your only choice is to just get over it.

i made and list of dos and donts on the plane ride over.

Do: the ocean, used bookstores, small sips, naps, sunsets, let it go, hard hat and pick axe, blankets.

Don't: endless scroll, quick fix, divided attention, scratchy wool, identity theft, portrait mode, masochism, blood oranges, imposter syndrome.

small small weak weak covered in bruises too fragile too young too quiet too shy too everything

I keep sitting here thinking.

i feel like a little soul carrying around a corpse.

i am tired of being human. and sad. and angry. angry at feeling so much love. some days, i am angry just to be alive.

everyone keeps asking about school. and friends. i have nothing new to say really. they say i was smart. they still think that. i dont. i know i am stupid.

i feel like im burning like a dying star.

i have been telling myself for the past few months at least i'm not 14. at least i'll never be 14 laying in bed w headphones in listening to this depressing as music at 3am w tears streaming down my face ever again, peeling back glow in the dark stars off my bedroom wall. being 14 sucked. like, im going through the horrors and have no idea who i am as a person and also im fucking 14!

no, im 19 writing in my notes app in complete silence with a dry face and heavy lungs with no idea who i am as a person.

i wish i was a jellyfish; no pain, no thinking. just feeling weightless. i would just hope even as a jellyfish, i wouldn't feel lonely in a swarm.

[mostlymalena]

July 22nd 2024 9:22pm

Okay let's hash this out. I'll tell you guys what happened first then I'll address the slander Grace has been posting.

Grace and I broke up last Thursday. Reasonings were that I needed more space and I wasn't giving her what she deserved or needed. I did not have enough time between her and my last relationship to really heal and that was catching up to us. That's my fault for not giving myself the time I needed. I really just felt off and needed more time to myself, Argentina is super close and we were going to breakup when I moved there anyways. I also started feeling really guilty for not being able to feel the way she feels about me and I also started feeling resentfull for the sexual assault thing, her putting her hands on me one night when drunk, and for her fucking her Ex behind my back and lying about it. I was realizing I did not process that either. Anyways that was all building up hence why the breakup. I didn't want to even breakup till after I had therapy Friday bc I wanted to make sure I wasn't being a freak about things or just doing things out of being overwhelmed.

Anyways Friday is not good either, I get food poisoning and am so grumpy and she goes out on the town and gets fucked up - doesn't text me back so of course Im pissed off. My therapy is moved to Monday bc my therapist's kid had something come up. We fight about her smoking again and decide we should maybe reconnect after I move and get settled and O to his first day of school. I texted her later in the evening apologizing for being grumpy earlier and she doesn't answer.

Fast forward Saturday she texts me this long thing and I just get more confused more upset - I'm overthinking things and doubting myself. I ask her to come over to talk. We do just that and talk about my fears and my distrust with her bc the little Emma stuff and the other stuff mentioned before. I talk about my guilt in not showing up for her the way she deserves or being more actionable in the relationship. She tells me it's okay that I need space but she thinks we can do that still in a relationship. I tell her if thats what she wants then I can try better. We have two months left anyways. She gives me some ideas on how she feels loved and seen and I write those down. She spends one last night with me bc Ive asked for no more sleepovers till I'm settled in the new house.

Sunday. I pack and cry and pack and cry. It's so difficult leaving this apartment but at the same time I cannot wait to leave. Many loves and losses have been here and 3 years is a lot to leave behind.

Jo and I decide to have one last wine night at my place since last summer thats all we basically did. She ends up getting sick so I decide to have one by myself. I drink a bottle and watch a movie. For those who don't know - I don't drink that often and I am a lightweight. I am drunk at 10pm on Sunday by myself. Bent texts me asking to stop by and catch up and smoke a cig (I had Jo's favorite cigs for our wine night). Bent and I haven't caught up in a bit bc I'm so busy so I say sure. Something we've done a millions times. We chit chat and share 3 bottles of wine, sitting on my porch just hanging out. Around midnight I text Grace that I'm blackout drunk. I know this bc I reread our texts. I was in fact blackout drunk. Bent was also goneeee. I would need 3 hands to count the amount of times in the last year even that Bent and I have been fucked up together. It's not a rare thing is the point I am trying to make here.

Listen I know you all want details but I don't have them. I remember me and Bent sitting in my room talking about work. I remember opening my eyes at one point and the whole room was dark and we were kissing, I shot up and turned the light on and slapped his face a little and told him we were crossing a line and it was wrong. I told him we need to think of Ruby and Grace. That was the last thing I remember. I can't tell you if it was good or bad or how long. I also cannot tell you why we did it. I woke up the next morning and threw up everything I have ever even thought of putting in my stomach.

There was no tension that night leading up to it, there NEVER has been sexual/emotional/romantic tension between me and Bent. It's just me and Bent. Sorry to disappoint everyone with the following: that is the first and last time Bent and I will hook up. We have never in the past ever come close. No he did not cheat on Jade. I also have my own opinion that he did not technically cheat on Ruby. Rubes dumped bent a while back and they have just been fucking and hanging out since. If that isnt the case then thats between them.

Now my part: I do feel and think I cheated on Grace. I told her I needed space but did not want to sleep with anyone else and that seeing other people wasn't my goal. I was very very wrong to cheat on her. What I did was terrible and gross. I know I hurt her and what I did was unforgivable. I never thought of myself as someone who could do that. It was bad. It's plain and simple: it was wrong and I was wrong. I feel so guilty.

I cannot tell anyone why I did that. I wish I could but I'm also relieved I don't remember any details because I think that would make it worse.

Ruby and Grace both found out while I was in therapy this morning. Many of you readers might have already seen the things Grace is posting on her story. She is hurting big time and I betrayed her so I'm not mad about the posting. I write on my blog so I would never be mad about something like that. If she feels better about it then thats her thing!

What I do not appreciate is posting our texts out of context to further her victim stance. Grace you are the victim here you don't need to manipulate the masses. For example her post of a screenshot of this:

It was her worried about doing coke.

She did unblock me today to tell me she is on her way to her my house to get her stuff. I told her not tonight but I'll gather all her things and put it on my porch tomorrow. I have things in the dirty clothes that are hers and I am also packing so Ive packed some of her stuff. The other big reason was the Olive was home and I was not going to allow her to freak out around him. I told her this several times and apologized for inconveniencing her. She showed up anyways and banged on my door, screamed a little, and dumped the cat food I have on my porch to feed a stray cat all over the place. She also called me a bunch so I blocked her. I also threw up again bc the nerves and the guilt. Hearing her so upset and knowing it was my fault was terrible.

Ethan comes over and we are on the porch (this is several hours later) and she pulls up again with her friend Emma. Ethan tells me to go inside and I stand up and she gets out and runs up the stairs and I go inside and lock the door. She stand outside my door and says she isnt leaving until she gets her stuff. Ethan reiterates that I'll gather it all up tomorrow. She says she just wants some cosmetics that she leaves at my house. I go and look for them but find razors, I probably fucking packed it all already. I am also in a panic not gonna lie. I throw up again and I'm shaking and I'm scared. Scared of what I pushed her too and scared in general. Ethan gives her the razors and tells her that he will personally drop her stuff off at her house tomorrow on his lunch break. So she doesnt have to drive this way again and she wont have to see me. She loses it and starts screaming at Ethan calling him a piece of shit for being my friend, telling him I'm trying to keep her stuff so she is forced to see me again. Just really upset and rightfully so. She leaves in an echo of a car door slam.

And of course all the posting stuff.

My only issue with this all is the her blaming Ethan for being my friend still when her best friend Jordan just recently cheated, her best friend who has a wife "they cheat on each other all the time" and Grace and I both share really good friends who have cheated on their partners. Grace CHEATED ON HER PREVIOUS GIRLFRIEND. They make bad decisions not bad friends. I fucked up big time but I also am taking responsibility. I know what I did was wrong and this is not an excuse, just an explanation. I was WRONG and what I did was TERRIBLE, disgusting, and if Grace wants to blast me on social media and do what she needs to do just let her. I hurt her in an unimaginable way. She will gain her composure when the initial shock is over.

I think that is all I have to say right now but of course I am open to questions and criticisms. I am to blame and only me in this situation.

I'm just going to post this and not reread it so sorry for grammar and spelling.

[lvrcpid]

headcannons - modern!au

— my personal headcannons for my modern!au

neteyam

- keeps his room really tidy

- he probably works at tillys or footlocker

- most likely has a newer car since he’s a top tier child

- had braces from age 10 to 15

- i think he keeps his locs short

- speaking of locs, he knows how to retwist so he saves money on that part

- he’s allergic to nuts and blueberries

- he loves 2pac and biggie

- his favorite holiday is most likely christmas

- cargo pants are his go to

- probably asked lo’ak to put him on with you

- has the prettiest smile ever

lo’ak

- he doesn’t wanna work , he kisses up to mo’at for money

- he wears glasses and sometimes contacts

- he has his permit , his 9 months aren’t up yet 💀

- probably makes soundcloud music but it’s actually good

- he doesn’t tell anyone this but he wants to be a vet when he grows up

- he’s a dog lover , wants a dog named rico

- always taking tsireya on dates cause his love language is quality time

- he vapes. i’m sorry he just does.

- probably still gets in hella trouble

- when and if he does get a job, he works at footlocker/tillys with neteyam (he didn’t wanna do the interviews , he thinks they’re cringe)

- his room either smells of his vapes, chips or the occasional wallflowers neytiri makes him use

- everyone thinks his name is so cool and unique

kiri

- she plays guitar. no more.

- has a pet guinea pig

- probably plays roblox in her free time

- stays cutting and dying her hair

- she probably doesn’t care she’s adopted

- she bakes a lot

- girl in red is her favorite artist

- vines and incense are a must in her room

- her and rotxo are dating but they probably have that “im not ashamed of you i just don’t want everyone in our business” type relationship

- she works at khols and gets khols cash for her mom

- she probably smokes weed

- she definitely does.

- she’s not like always high but she’s always high

ao’nung

- he loves sleeping

- he also wears glasses but hate the way they shape his face

- he probably has a few tattoos ngl

- he stays looking at fight videos on twitter

- idc he’s a big cuddler

- he’s the type to see crying as a weakness

- still has ronals smile

- speaking of ronal he’s a mommas boy

- the type to secretly take pictures of you and set them as his background and get flustered when you point it out

- he probably doesn’t work since being an athlete takes up most of his time but when the season is over he works at zumiez

tsireya

- a big crybaby ngl

- pageant princess back in the day

- she probably knows how to play the violin

- head over heels for lo’ak

- she wants to marry this boy

- she probably wears a lot of vans

- i see her being prone to sickness really often like she’s always catching a cold and allergies are the devil

- i’m sorry but she vapes too , she does not CAREEEEEE

- avid starbucks drinker

- her favorite food is shrimp

- contrary to popular belief her and aonung are very close and have sleep overs all the time

- she works at a hair salon as an assistant

tuk

- that girl lives in claire’s

- reminder she is 8 , let’s give our girl some credit

- she’s probably not an ipad kid. she probably has her own phone and is surprisingly really responsible with it

- girl is so ready for high school and hasn’t even hit middle school yet

- i don’t see her as the type to kid to love sweets, something tells me tuk is more of a i’ll eat it but i know when to stop type kid

- lo’ak doesn’t watch her, she watches lo’ak

- probably mature enough to be left at home by herself

- she loves mac and cheese

- that is her MEAL

- she never knows what she wants to eat

- they’re always in the restaurant waiting on tuk

- i don’t see her as a big crybaby but moral support for her siblings like she’s always like “i’m here for you” when lo’ak and jake get into it , not like ranting but you get it

- her and neteyam are partners in crime

- her bedtime is 8:30 , 9:00 when she’s completed her homework early

- she’s so SASSYYYYY

[fairyleiii]

ྀི ۪ ׂ. ૮ ๑• . •๑ ა ۪ ׂ. ꒰ 𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓 !! ꒱

ღ. synopsis ; you and ajax were quite different, but thats what made you such a good couple, until you overheard his friends talking about your relationship..

ღ. pairing ; ajax petropolus x smart reader

ღ. notes ; angst and then comforting, i never see ajax stuff here :( also not a big thing but in this oneshot reader wears glasses (im projecting) and isn’t really the type to wear beanies and stuff like ajax - thats why its titled opposites attract

ajax had asked you on a date a few months ago, and you were distant, not because there's anything bad about him, you actually really liked him. it's just that he was quite different to you.

he was laidback, smoked, humorous. you were quiet and focussed on school.

not only were your personalities quite different, but the way you liked to dress and present yourself too. ajax wore beanies and loose fitting clothing, while you wore glasses and dressed as neatly as possible.

but despite your obviously opposing styles, both visibly and internally, you had accepted that first date and many more.

after multiple dates ajax took you to the weathervane and seemed quite nervous, as he asked you to be his girlfriend, to which you happily agreed.

ajax's friends hadnt been aware of you two until dm more recently, but you got along well with xavier and his girlfriend bianca, and rowan.

you had just gotten out of class, and following your usual routine you walked over to your usual table. sitting there was xavier and rowan from ajax's usual friend group facing the away from you.

due to them facing the opposite direction to you, they didnt notice your presence. otherwise they would’ve shutup immediately, knowing how protective ajax is.

"i mean, i just think theyre too different y'know," you had walked up to the table to sit and wait for ajax to finish class and come sit with you, however hearing xavier's words you couldnt help but falter in your steps.

"no i get it, Y/N has her whole smart girl thing going on, but i think ajax'll get bored of that sooner or later." you didn't wait to stick around to hear them talk more about how wrong you are, you swiftly turned around, marching toward your dorm with a mission in mind.

"hey enid?" you called out for your roommate, who you knew was staying in her dorm during lunch today to catch up on sleep.

"oh yeah hey Y/N!" enid was seemingly, not asleep.

"i knowww I said i was resting but i changed my mind, im putting together outfits!" enid held up a variety of multicoloured fabrics in an enthusiastic tone, before her eyes softened as she noticed the tears holding on to the tips of your eyelashes, threatening to fall.

"oh sweets! whats wrong," enid hurriedly hopped off the floor to pull you into a comforting hug, which was the final straw for you.

you couldnt help but cry as the girl soothed you, running her fingers through your hair in a sisterly manner as you cried.

"its stu-stupid really," you sniffled out before reluctantly pulling back from enid's warm embrace, "can you help me be more like ajax's type?"

while enid was confused, she still helped, asking a lot of questions that you refused to answer, you knew she would tell your boyfriend. and ajax would say that it was wrong, you dint need to change, when deep down he was most likely lying to you and would break up with you when he got sick of your nerdy nature.

ajax <3: hey i missed you at break! come watch a movie with me xav bianca and rowan 🛹

ajax <3: p.s i promise it wont be too scary bunny

his texts made you want to cry all over again. he lobed scary movies while you avoided them, you really were too different.

when you arrived at ajax's dorm room, he immediately pulled you into the hallway. enid had dressed you in baggy black jeans that you were practically falling out of, a small white tank top that was teeny tiny and uncomfortable, with a big dark green beanie that was so big for your head that it almost covered tour eyes from seeing, which wouldn't be so bad considering you couldnt even see anything, having chosen not to wear your glasses.

"what are you wearing?" ajax asked with raised eyebrows, first you hadnt been at lunch, then he hadnt seen you for the rest of the day as you had skipped to spend all day with enid. he was really worried.

"what do you mean?" you crossed your arms wincing, your ‘new look’ and change of attire were clearly uncomfortable.

ajax only gave you a stern look in response, causing you to sigh. "m’sorry, i heard people saying that we weren't super compatible, that maybe you dint like me being all, yknow. so i wanted to dress how you'd maybe like." you shrugged, eyes glued to the ground, too embarrassed to look even at your boyfriend.

ajax raised his hand to your chin, gently tilting your face upwards, forcing you to meet his eyes.

"you do know i love the way you dress! your glasses and your hair and your non-blindness," ajax quips when he sees you beginning to squint in an attempt to see him.

you cant help but hug him in relief.

"hey! how who said that about you?"

the rest of the night was spent with you in your bunny pattered pyjama set you had left at ajax’s dorm one night. the whole evening was spent watching the movie you got to choose, while it seemed that xavier and rowan had suddenly decided to want to cater to your every need.

would you like me to get you a drink Y/N?

oh here, have some blankets!

i love your pjs Y/N

you had a feeling ajax had something to do with it, but when you cornered him to question his about it, he only smirked at you teasingly and responded with,

“well of course not, its not my fault that they wanted to give you the treatment you deserve!”

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

am i warm enough for you?

➳ tags ;; soulmate au, strangers to lovers, fluff and angst but mostly fluff, some-what canon compliant, bakugo katsuki is bad at feelings, lots of Feelings™, you guys are adults but the end of the fic but the fic is sfw, alcohol, drunk confessions

➳ wc ;; 5.6k..

➳ plot summary ;; you see your soulmate in dreams - sometimes in bits and pieces and other times in full. bakugo is less than inclined to admit he even has a soulmate - and you learn how to cope with it, one day at a time.

bakugo learns that this soulmate shit is no joke. that has to be why he keeps falling for you so helplessly.

➳ a/n ;; i wasn’t even gonna comeback this early but it felt so wrong not to post on my bfs birthday so alas </3 for anyone who cares to know this is @elysianseraph but with my new url. nice to see u all <3

this was originally posted on 4/20 but im reposting cause it didn’t show up in the tags dskjds

It’s hazy.

A cloud of smoke settles over your body, permeating your lung. It smells like sugar, like burning, like smoke and a little like leather. You can feel your toes curl and your hands moving but your body is separate from you in a way you can’t describe. It’s a pleasant kind of warmth that spreads, creeping up from behind your neck till it’s soft and cradling your skull. It’s soft like the touch of a mother, like wool over your ears.

It’s a pleasant feeling, that’s all. Almost cozy but there’s a fading sense of distress that chills in your lungs as you encompass it. Your hands are too small to reach forward, and truthfully the sensation is so powerful that you’re afraid to reach out. You’re 6 years old, so all you know is how it makes you feel. You can’t remember many details, but you feel pleasant. Something about it is soft, but there’s a sharp edge right at the end that has your lungs gasping for air.

It’s a flash of colors. Red. Orange. Pale Yellow. Grey. Black. Forest Green. Red. Red. Orange. Red.

And then it fades into a feeling again. A blurry feeling. You feel conflict, then concern, then inadequacy in heavy waves almost like it’s drowning you. It’s the first time you’ve experienced such a pain, so your wailing and wiping tears away with chubby fingers and saying a name you don’t know and can’t remember.

Ka. You know the sound, Ka. But you don’t know of anything more. It repeats rhythmically in your mind like a knock on the door, rapping with urgency - but it doesn’t do anything to jog your memory. Someone is trying to be let in but you don’t know how to answer them, and you’re still crying. The distress, the inadequacy shakes you and all you feel is frustration in short simple bursts.

Your first encounter with your soulmate is written this way in your memory. A sense of urgency laced with frustration - but they’re not towards you. It’s him, his feelings - you can feel them even deeper then he can. They pierce you in a way that makes it hard to breathe, no matter how you try to escape them it’s an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. The only way to escape the feelings of a dream is either to control them, or to face them and swim through the fog.

Soulmates have an urgency to them, in general. His is different, you can tell as much. Your first soulmate dream leaves the heaviest impression and each one thereafter is like pieces of a puzzle.

Sometimes you simply share random dreams, like a split screen in a video game - the two of you witness different parts of the same dreamverse. Other times, and honestly - most times, you’re experiencing their emotions or feelings. You experience their core memories, their life, in flashes and bits and pieces.

It’s not enough to know them or who they are, it’s like know everything about them except the things that matter

Sometimes you meet too. Just barely.

MEETING 1:

The room is white. When you blink, colors flash in order - red, pale yellow, orange, forest green and you know. You blink a few more times, stretching your hands out in front of yourself. Curling your hands into fist then into stretched palms, you lean forward and stretch. You wriggle your toes - notice you're wearing shoes. Clothes from your closet. Strange.

You take a look around the room but there isn't much to see. There’s a wall in front of you with a glass divider and a mirrored empty room. The room across from yours has spiky decor littered against the walls. An orange dresser, plastic grenades and play guns. You know who it is without a second warning - and a foggy part in the back of your head tells you that it’s him, again but with more force. You don’t see anything in your room, but you figure he might. All of it is confusing to you.

Before you can blink, there’s a loud thud coming from the other side of the glass. It’s a silhouette, the outline of a face - but nothing clear. Dream logic dictates you can’t know a face you’ve never seen, yet somehow you know his outline. Spiky, he’s spiky everywhere.

“Hello?,” you call out, overly tentative. The figure pauses, seems to take in whatever they must be seeing. You’re not sure what response you’re expecting, really. There’s no expectations at all.

“...Who the fuck are you?,” says a pitchy, male voice. He sounds like he’s your same age, a highschool boy. His throat is rough, yet not overly deep. It’s almost scratchy.

“Uhm,”

You’re not sure how to reply. You can see him through the glass, but not really. Still, you take note of his shadows like they’re going to tell you anything more. You shove your hands in your pockets, messing around with something inside.

“Uh.. your soulmate, I think,” you reply.

Scratching the back of your neck as an awkward silence settles, you take a few minutes to try and figure what more to say.

“We met when we were kids once too,” you explain awkwardly. He must know, has too - this soulmate thing is a two way thing, but his silence is deafening. You just want to feel this space. Is it always this awkward?

“Red. Orange. Pale Yellow. Forest Green,” you repeat, like a mantra. You hear him take in a sharp breath, and freeze. For some reason, you’d like to avoid upsetting him. He doesn’t seem like he’s taking to the information too well.

“I don’t have time for this damn bullshit… whatever quirk you’ve got to mimic this - cut it the fuck out,”

Hostile.

You pause, not sure how to feel. Half of you is offended, the other half is confused - had you done something to upset him? You can feel how he feels - but you don’t understand it. You sit with your mouth agape, like a fish out of water. Unsure of how to proceed, you scoff a little.

“Woah.. this isn’t a quirk thing. We’re.. soulmates? That’s already a thing,”

More silence. You’ve.. he doesn’t seem upset, but you can tell he’s not all that keen to the idea. It’s a bare minimum improvement that you find yourself valuing, without your consent. He breathes again, throat even more hoarse than before. His voice is angry but it doesn’t fit his responses, his feelings - so you don’t pay attention to his madness. Something is off.

“... I’m not supposed to have a soulmate. No fucking way I have a soulmate,” he grits. You step back, stumbling. You didn’t have any expectations.. but this wasn’t what you had been expecting at all. You feel uneasy, sick. It must be a shared feeling if the way he leans against a wall counts for anything.

A beat of silence passes before you open your mouth to speak.

“... I have no idea what I’m supposed to say to that,” you admit. He scoffs.

“Nothing you damn extra. Leave me the fuck alone,”

You don’t reply, too stunned. This was your soulmate? This.. asshole? Not that you were a peach entirely either, but this was supposedly the person that the universe had decided for you?

You shake your head. Maybe you’re just being rash? He could be a nice guy behind all the chaos. You try your best to hold onto that, that this was literally someone chosen for you before you gave up all hope. You sigh, cracking your neck.

“You can say whatever you want but.. we’re here, you know? It’s more productive to just go with it.. isn’t it?,”

“Go fuck yourself,”

“After meeting you, I’m not exactly over the fucking moon about it either. It is what is,”

“You’re not my fucking.. soulmate or whatever the fuck. Leave me alone,”

Your heart both aches with anger and sadness. You don’t know what to do. What does this shit-head know about you, anyway? You know he’s been through some shit, same as you - what makes him so entitled? You swallow the lump in your throat. It hurts. It pierces. Stupid soulmate bonds.

“Yeah? Alright. Fuck you too,”

You see him pace around for a longer before he disappears in a cloud of smoke. You didn’t even catch his name, and you’re not sure you wanted too. It must be morning, but at least you're away from him. It feels lonely, but it must just be you.

Your eyes flutter open but your heart is heavy with regret. You don’t know who it belongs to, but you’ve got class in an hour and not enough time to think about it. If he doesn’t want to meet you that’s fine.

It’s fine. Not like you wanted to meet your soulmate anyway.

__

You don’t have another meeting with your soulmate for months. Lately your dreams have little if anything to do with him or where he is, how he’s been. You have some of those split screen ones, where you know he’s there but neither of you acknowledge each other, even in spirit, like how you did before. When you wake up feeling angsty, you don’t know how to distinguish the feeling but you don’t try.

You wonder idly if he can feel your apathy, if he cares enough too. Maybe he also mistakes it for his own? It seems likely.

It’s a weekday where you’re getting ready for remedial classes at your school. First year advanced courses were no joke, and you find yourself regretting your choice to participate in them.

Still you get dressed anyway, put your uniform on and brush your teeth - wash your face with your eyes half open and look presentable. No one's home in the morning, the house is empty of any life but you. Food becomes a last minute priority, so you make an egg sandwich with cheese and eat it on the way to the train station.

You stare down at your feet as you step outside, music drowning out the noise of your surroundings aptly. The walk to the station is long and the ride is longer, but the streets are packed edge to edge. Musutafu is busy this time of year - the U.A. Sports Festival is taking place today and everything seems to reflect that. You barely manage to squeeze past all the strangers on the subway - clearly on their way to see it.

When you get to school, you're greeted by a mostly empty classroom with a teacher. These classes were straightforward as always, do the work you need to correct, have it approved and leave. It repeats until your finished with all the assignments and you get to be done. You give a respectful nod to your teacher before grabbing your work from your bag.

It goes on and on - occasionally, you hear an excited gasp and quiet chatter from classmates. It’s about the festival, the happenings - but you’re too caught up in completing your work that day and trying to get the fuck out of their as soon as possible.

Shit like that didn’t matter to you, anyways. It’s just a festival.

You leave around the same time the festival seems to have ended, the streets flooded with people - you miss the first station and wander towards an electronics store a block away from your highschool.

It’s the winners on TV. A guy with split hair - Shouto Todoroki, Endeavors son. A guy with a bird head, and a blonde with red eyes - muzzled to the pole.

When you see them, your heart stops. You can feel anger, an unfamiliar rage and humiliation building in your chest. It feels the word has stopped as you watch from afar, through screens. Your soulmate seems upset about something, but you wouldn’t know what.

And that blonde on TV, you wonder if you know him from somewhere.

MEETING 2:

Red.Orange. Pale Yellow. Grey. Black. Forest Green. Red. Red.

You feel him before you even know what’s happening - and it catches you completely off-guard. You haven’t had a proper soulmate dream in two years. Smoke clouds your lungs, the taste of sugar burning your tongue as you cough yourself into awareness. This time, you’re not in a room but it’s a campground. In the middle of the space is a bonfire, burning warmly. This one feels more vivid, more real.

But you know it’s not, your body feel unusually light and your hands can’t hold anything for too long. You know it’s a dream, but you sit in the chair anyway. It feels like you're floating. You feel oddly warm. Dread builds in the pit of your stomach. Even though it’s been so long since you’ve spoken to your soulmate - you can’t forget the terrible first encounter. It sticks to the roof of your mouth - a bitter memory that fills you with unexplainable, irrational resentment.

But it’s not like you hadn’t been seeing him, to an extent. You’ve seen all his memories in bits and pieces - all of them tragic and painful. This time, you see people but they come in the form of small scraps. Spiky Red. Electricity. Tape. Pink with Horns. Music. Green. So much green and red - like Christmas, you’ve called it. You’ve seen disappearances, fear, anguish - so much anguish.

In the weeks after All Might’s fall, you were in so much pain - you couldn’t stop crying for days. It’s been enough time to know what feelings were yours and which were his - and these ones felt so much like him. It went on for nearly a year - you’d almost got accustomed to it. If tears showed up to blot the ink of your lecture notes, you didn’t think twice about it. You tried to keep yourself calm, steady - in hopes you could lend your soothing to him. Even if he hated your guts, you could barely believe so much sadness could exist in one person. You didn’t know what happened but whatever it was - it must’ve been terrible. At the very least, you felt sympathy.

Sympathy was enough to get by for a long time. A neutral, level-headed sympathy that helped soothe some of your own hurt.

All that said, you were hardly expecting to see him again - especially not this soon. You don’t remember the last time you thought about him in anything other than passing - actively. It’s one thing to know what's happening - you’ve felt him passively everyday for damn near two years.

But it’s another thing to see him in front of you, force yourself to acknowledge him as your soulmate even if he insists on not doing the same.

You squirm in your chair, noticing that you’re wearing PJ’s instead of clothes. Just a hoodie and sweats, none of which fit you quite right. You pull your sleeves over your hands, fiddling with the stray strand of thread loose.

“What the fuck is this shit?,”

Your stomach drops. Unsure of what to say, you opt to say nothing at all. Just let him be, sit quietly in your dreams and mind your business. Maybe he’ll wake up soon and it’ll all be over.

You can’t see him from the corner of your vision but you can hear him shuffle. The way he touches things, noticing how they make noise but don’t feel quite right in his hands. How it feels real but doesn’t, how it is real and isn’t. Surely, he’s noticed you by now. The lingering silence makes you squirm.

“...It’s you,”

You flinch, lifting your head up slightly to meet his gaze. His expression is unreadable, but it’s different from before. In a fleeting moment, something occurs to you.

You can see him. What he looks like. Blonde with red eyes, and a sharp chin and thin waist. You know it must mean you’ve seen him before - perhaps you’d even seen each other, but for your life you can’t remember where you’ve seen his face. It’s right there, on the edge of your mind, but you’re stumped.

“Hello?,”

“Oh,” your reply comes short, strained. Your eyes flutter as you press your lips into a flat line. “Uh, hi,”

The blonde sits in the chair, slumping down. His eyes go towards the flickering flames without another word and you decide it’s best not to engage. It stays like that for a while, a beat of silence - not awkward but not comfortable, passing by without another thought. It all feels real, present - not like normal dreams. This must be the special kind of soulmate thing you find yourself feeling resentful towards.

His eyes are heavy. Relief is overwhelming him, with an iron grip and he’s worried you can feel it. If you can, you don’t say a word.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,”  he admits.

The words sound tender passing through his mouth, unmistakably so - but you don’t get your hopes up. Instead, you give him a placating laugh, leaning forward towards the fire and mirroring him.

“I didn’t think so either,”

When it falls silent, it feels comfortable. It’s not like either of you have anything to say to each other right now, with no manual on how this was supposed to go. If he even wanted to go there.

“I can.. see you,” you start. He squints.

“You couldn’t before?,”

This takes you by surprise. You shake your head.

“No..Could you? See me, I mean?,”

Bakugo feels heat rise to his skin. Oh. Huh.

“Yeah,” he replies, a sharp inhale leaving his lungs “I can see you,”

There’s something tense in the air. It’s a strange sensation - to know the deepest and most intimate parts of someone without even knowing their name proper, or where they went to school, or what they normally eat for breakfast. All that connects you are these mutual feelings, shared grief that holds you two to the title of soulmates. This odd bond.

“..d’ya still think I’m a quirk wielding villain?,” you laugh, or try too - you’re doing your best to cut the tension. He can feel your hurt all the way from your sit, so deep in his gut - it’s been haunting him for years. How many nights of sleep he’s lost knowing there are soft and helpless tears coming from these suppressed feelings. He doesn’t know how to say sorry, so he sighs and rubs the back of his neck. He’s changed a lot in two years - but not enough to be good at this.

“No, I don’t,”

“Oh,”

He smiles, just a little. It’s gentle, casts shadow on his face from the light of the fire. It’s warm, everything feels warm and better and invigorating. When you look at him and his uneasy expression - you know he feels it too.

“By the way, uhm - what’s your name? Ka.. something? Right?,”

His eyes shoot up in surprise. He nods a little.

“Katsuki Bakugo,” he replies, expectantly. You seem surprised that he wants to know yours.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” comes your reply.

“Nice to meet you,” says him, Bakugo - your soulmate.

“Nice to meet you too,”

__

Getting to know Bakugo is unusually easy. You get the feeling it wouldn’t be, in the case that you were anything but soulmates - but Bakugo has never known being this intimate with someone other than you. Despite himself, how much he hates himself - you never seem too. Even though you feel and see all the ugliest parts of him - have since he was small enough to still be innocent, you always treat him the same.

Your conversations are short, and shallow. Regardless, he’s not used to talking so much about himself. But you’re always curious, so much so Bakugo doesn’t have the heart to see your countless questions go unanswered.

You keep a little notebook of all of your encounters. You remember them by heart but write them down too, just in case you miss something. You ask about his friends - Spiky Red and Soft Green, referring to them that way even after you’ve known their names. You ask about his work - the life of a dangerous hero, and if he ever gets nervous flying through the air.

Admittedly, he’s mean to you. He teases you so frequently, he’s lost count of all the times you’ve huffed and puffed at his sarcastic remarks. Still, you never turn away from him. You stand with your foot down and your arms crossed over your chest - insistent on making him feel flustered too. And it works, somehow - because you know all too much about Bakugou and always gets him right where he’s most conscious about. You don’t have to tease him about his feelings since you know them like the palms of your hand.

But these shallow conversations always mean a little more to him that he knows how to verbalize, and half the time he doesn’t need to do that at all. You’ve learned the masterful of working around him quietly, making all the parts of that feel too big to love - something small and fragile. Somehow, you’ve made being with him, even as friends - feel like less of an impossible feat but a dream.

Katsuki Bakugo has been in love with you since he was 6 years old. There must be some feelings we cannot share with our soulmates, because he has no idea if you feel it or not. He just knows he does, somewhere deep in the cavern of his heart, he loves you.

You never cross the barrier of romance with him, though. A paralyzing fear seems to settle in your bones when you breach too close to love and intimacy - and Bakugo understands those feelings, even if he doesn’t know exactly why they’re there. It’s not something you’ve decided to tell him yet, but he feels it in the same way he feels your loneliness. You may be kind but you’re more guarded than he is, and not fearless but reckless.

But he still finds himself aching to love and be loved by you, no matter how much he hates it. The yearning still manages to swallow him, even late into the night.

MEETING 3:

It’s been a while since your last meeting with Bakugo but not long. You were 21 now, but your dream visits were frequent. When you weren't speaking or seeing him through dreams - you were watching him on TV. You’d been yet to meet with him in real life but to you, that was okay. Seeing him like this had been more than enough.

Today was different. Normally, that bonfire was always a back-drop to these little encounters but it was a field today - a filed with rolling hills and hundreds of flowers and tall grass that made you feel itchy. The sun was permanently stuck right before it set but it was so warm everywhere. When you get there, there’s a blanket on the top of one of the hills. You sit on it cautiously and watch the wind pass. Everything is tinged orange, and red - you know he’s there with you before he appears.

When he does, he seems different. You glance over at him as he stumbles towards you in a stupor, and when he does finally sit - you get a whiff of alcohol coming from his neck and mouth. It’s strong enough to make a little dizzy. Blinking owlishly, he sits crisscross besides you, staring a little at the surroundings.

“..the fuck?,” he slurs. You can’t help but break out into a laugh. He nearly falls over, body swaying so you bring his head down to your shoulder wordlessly, a furious heat running all over your skin. Even though you can’t feel him, the gesture makes you feel something in your belly.

“Why’re you so drunk?,”

“Birthday,” he mumbles. Your eyes widen in surprise. Bakugo is seemingly unfazed, eyes drooping with tiredness. He’s completely inebriated.

You feel yourself grow tender. You’d have to wake up and remember the days date. Despite all the times you’ve met, you had no clue about his birthday or how he celebrated. You feel your heart ache at the idea you’ve spent the latter half of it together, in your own way.

“Happy Birthday, Bakugo.”

“Bakugo this, Bakugo that,” he growls, a little incoherent “We’re supposed to be fucking soulmates and you still call me by that.. damn name.”

He hiccups a little as you sit there stunned. You blink.

“.. You think of us as soulmates?,”

“Are you some kind of moron?,”

You scowl, flicking his forehead with your thumb and forefinger. He makes a noise of indignance.

“Well, how would I know? When we first met, you didn’t seem enthused about it,”

Bakugo sighs tiredly.

“I was 15 and an asshole - clearly I don’t fuckin’ feel that anymore,”

You seem surprised again.

“..You don’t?,”

Instead of swearing at you, he closes his eyes and gets closer to you. The liquor runs through his system like liquid courage and he nods a little.

“Not at all,”

“What do you..”

“What do you think I mean?,” he barks a laugh. You feel your pulse under your skin, drumming against your chest like a hammer. You can’t even breathe.

You’ve had feelings for Bakugo from the second proper meeting you’d had with him. It was clear as a day that he was your soulmate for good reason, that inexplicable draw that kept your heart from ever belonging to anyone else. You tried to - tried to go on dates and see other opportunities through but he was always so one of a kind.

Yet, you’d given up all hope that it would mean anything to harbor these feelings, convinced that Bakugo simply wasn’t interested in you In doing any of this. You didn’t want to force him into something he didn’t want - so you kept your distance with hope that he’d still be in your life. It was enough, or you’d wanted it to be.

It’d be a lie to say that you hadn’t started thinking about it more and more as the days pass. What it would be like to see him, touch him and love him and be with him for real - these passive daydreams gone vivid. If he could see your dreams, he must know about them. But you didn’t know how to approach it - how to approach love at all.

That’s the thing with soulmates. You’re told that you’ll just have the answers, destiny will do the hard work but that’s far from true. Because even now, with Bakugo leaning  on your shoulder with this confession lingering in the air - you don’t know what to do.

“Stop being so nervous,” he mumbles. You stumble a little over yourself.

“Sorry,”

He chuckles.

“You really need me to say it, huh?,” he sighs. He picks himself. If he’s drunk and reckless, then fuck it - he’s gonna take it all the way. He drops his head onto your lap with a tired sigh.

“I think you’re my soulmate, you fuckin’ idiot,” he admits.

And it’s hard to say, because feelings don’t come easy for Bakugo Katsuki - but it’s the least he can do. All Bakugo Katsuki has ever known is to be lonely. It’s a loneliness that he’d forced on himself. Bottling up all the anger and sadness and swallowing it. It’s long since sunk it’s claws into him. That overwhelming, all consuming ugly feeling that lingers underneath that superiority complex.

That no one would ever, could ever love the ugliness that lingers in him. That no one who knew him for what he truly is, could care for him. Deku was the first of many disbeliefs and not much had changed.

Except for when it did. Except for when he met you - in a dream, and you were real and beautiful even at 15. That the universe hadn’t been playing some sick joke on him when he kept seeing you in his dreams, so soothing to his teenage loneliness. You were real and that was so fucking scary.

But you loved him anyway. Looked out for him when he was at his lowest - the soothing beat of your heart  in the days after All Mights end . When he cried himself into sleep and dreamed of you. God, how he dreamed of you. Not especially romantic dreams, but dreams of how you made breakfast. How you watched cartoons on Sunday and read manga in your classes instead of the assigned work. How you fell asleep on the train station and always ate icecream after big tests. How you were especially mundane and how he got to be apart of that everyday routine.

After all, you see dreams of each other, but Bakugo has no clue what your dreams of him look like. His have always looked like you though.

When he was worthless and empty and unable to give you anything meaningful, to apologize or put his pride away - you had loved him anyway. Felt for him with clumsy hands and held on, not letting go. Even when he was begging for you to leave him alone, in fear of this all being nothing more than a cruel dream - you held on tightly to him. With your silly notebook questions and dumb names.

Bakugo Katsuki has never known what it means to love someone who isn’t you. Even if you found someone else and there was someone better than you for him, he would grit his teeth and bear it. He wonders if he’ll ever believe he deserves you. He wants to believe you’re his soulmate - to believe you wont ever leave. To believe that he did something right enough that the universe could give him someone like you.

And he wishes he could say all this, but he can’t - he just closes his eyes and hopes you can feel it.

“You’re so mean,”

“Isn’t that why you like me?,” he grins.

And you can feel his sincerity. He should feels yours too.

“I love you, actually,”

He gasps, a sharp breath that stabs his lungs. He feels sober from the confession.

His voice is gravelly when he speaks.

“Yeah, shit - me too,”

__

Your heart beats rapidly in your chest. The address is correct, it has to be with the way this place looks. Only a hero could live here, with the floors that lead up to skies. He lives on 3rd floor, so you swallow your fear. You give yourself a thumbs up in the glass window pane of the building before entering through the doors.

When you get there, a box sits. You press the button next to his place, bouncing on the balls of your feet until you answer.

“Hello?,”

His voice feels different in real life. You  cough.

“Uh, hi,” you greet awkwardly “I’m here,”

“Oh,” he says. You hear something buzz and then him again. “Come on up,”

And you do. The elevator ride feels like it stretches mild, classic piano echoing against the empty walls. You feel yourself feel sick but you’re not sure it’s from the movement. All you can do is fidget and wait.

When the doors open, you peak your head out into the hallway. He’s the first one on the left, just as promised. You can see a welcome mat - forest green, and something in you knows that it’s the right one.

You step up and knock, three times precisely. Your heart is all the way in your ears and everything in you is filled with unease and excitement.

When the door swings open, the world stops. You gape like a fish out of water in disbelief. He’s tall and big like he promised he’d be, but you’re unprepared. His chin is scruffy, eyes full of sleep. Strong chest and arms that seem to crowd your vision, you don’t know what do.

His expression is full to the brim with feelings you’ve never seen. He steps aside with his head ducked down.

“Come in,”

“Ah.. right,”

You take your shoes off and place them in the slippers meant for you - they fit you just right, and it can’t be a coincidence. Your heart swells up a little as you take your coat off, hanging it on the rack. You can feel his eyes as they linger on your silhouette.

“So -,”

Before you can get a word out, you feel strong arms wrapped around your waist. His scruff brushes against the skin of your neck as he holds you tightly too him. The warmth of his breath lingers on your neck - and he hiccups, a sob stored in his rib cages let out with a howl. The tears blur your vision too. You can feel his drip onto your shoulder as you snivel into his neck. Your legs feel weak, but he holds you up at the door - the only thing keeping you standing.

You cling around him tightly, your nails digging into the meat of his shoulders. It’s him, your soulmate, Katsuki Bakugo. He’s real and holding you - and he smells like leather and sugar and a fireplace. He’s warm and strong and overwhelming and your crying into his shoulder with so much feeling you don’t know what to do. You hit him weakly, unsure of what do with yourself and he laughs.

“Damn you, shitty woman - makin’ me fucking cry,” but his voice is strained. It’s like something connected, how you feel each other so intimately in that moment. Not only because you’re soulmates, but because you love each other so deeply. Your heart feels heavy.

When you pull away, you manage to give him a warbly smile.

Your hands cradle his face - so handsome and wonderful. You lean forward, emboldened, and peck him. He melts into your touch like he’d been waiting for this moment his whole life. It makes you grin.

Maybe you don’t realize that he had.

He’d been waiting for you all this time.

[9tzuyu]

four months.

note: hiiiii! just trying to get into the groove again. i dont know what this is. the original prompt is below, however it did not turn out that way?¿ its kind of a mess, but fluffy i suppose. i hope you enjoy :>.

using my own experience so don’t think i hate poor people because i am those people </3

(also chapter 4 of children of tragedy will be out soon, i promise. ive just had awful writers block.)

+ thank you moli for proofreading so i dont have to. i love you.

warnings: none?

prompt: * reader used to be poor and stuff and w/n is like “you know you don’t have to get the cheapest things” and R covers it up and says “oh this is the brand i like, but w/n discovers hidden receipts and asks why they have a bunch of useless receipt and R is like “i was just tracking how much we spend....”

🏷 @natasha-danvers @midnight-lestrange @whatiziz @kermy48 @mycosmicparadise @peggycarter-steverogers @blackxwidowsxwife (lmk if you want off the tag list because ik i dont post as regularly as other writers, so im just going with people who have told me they want to be on my tag list in the past)

and lastly, for my baby @nermalina. its not really your genre per se [ i have a smut fic that i’ll dt you on ;)] however, accept this as a form of love.

it wasn’t so much that you were homeless and out on the streets, but you weren’t necessarily well off either. working as a waitress only got you far enough to pay your monthly rent and gas. somehow you managed to squeeze in a list of groceries.

every penny counted, you didn’t have room for mishaps or sick days. thats why you kept your budget small and a stash full of receipts on the kitchen bar.

natasha didn’t know about any of this though. you were sure she’d have you by the neck if she found out how long you’d been keeping your secret.

the redhead was generous, and no matter how many times you offered to pay for something she would never even dream of letting you. natasha insisted on it, and you were powerless to stop her.

it wasn’t until you tagged along with her on a trip to the grocery store when things began to unravel. she only needed a few things, nothing important.

but nat was quick to pick up on the fact that you continuously flipped every little thing you picked up to look at the price tag.

“here, it’s the cheapest one i could find.” you said, smiling as you handed her a cardboard box of pasta. natasha hummed, “you know you don’t have to get me the cheapest thing on the shelf.”

you bit your lip, eyes suddenly looking back at the shelf of different pasta boxes. “i know... it’s just- it’s my favorite brand.” natasha automatically knew you were lying by the way you began chewing on the inside of your lip.

she narrowed her eyes. “no it’s not.”

“huh?”

“you got this brand because it was the cheapest. you know i can afford more, which leads me to believe you do this out of habit.”

you shuffled uncomfortably under her gaze. “no, i just really like that brand.”

the sudden realization that she had never been to your place struck her.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“why don’t we go back to your apartment after this? we can just relax, watch a movie, do whatever you want.”

a mix of guilt and shame flooded your body. but damned if you didn’t still give it a try.

“my apartment’s a mess right now, you don’t want to see that.” you tried, offering a small, dry laugh in hopes of getting her off your back.

“you’re a terrible liar.”

“i’m not-”

“i picked you up from the park today, just like every other day. i’ve not once picked you up from your own apartment, so what are you hiding?”

when you didn’t give an answer, she tossed the cheapest box of pasta in her cart and walked away. you groaned as you watched natasha leave before catching up to her.

“okay, okay, we can go back to my apartment. just don’t judge me, alright?”

she smiled softly, “it wouldn’t even cross my mind.”

soon enough you began helping your girlfriend load her car with bags full of miscellaneous items. nothing needed to be refrigerated, so if natasha wanted to, she could stay at your apartment all day.

your leg bounced in the car as you gave her directions. but soon enough, after what felt like the longest fifteen minutes of your life, natasha pulled into a parking space right outside your door.

you silently cursed yourself for not renting a spot upstairs. at least then it would’ve prolonged the situation just a little bit longer.

natasha watched as you fumbled with your keys, your hands visibly shaking.

“fuck.” you mumbled after hearing the clank of metal hit the ground. you bent down to pick them up but natasha beat you to it.

“which key?” her voice was soft.

“the yellow one.”

the door swung open and you motioned for natasha to go before you.

it wasn’t bad, really. apart from the chipped brown walls, the lingering smell of cigarette smoke (you hated your neighbors for that), the broken windows, lack of space and furniture that was as good as the floor.

natasha noticed the windows first, a sense of protectiveness overpowering her. she didn’t like that you weren’t safe.

you went to offer her a water bottle, but she wasn’t paying attention. instead, she noticed the lack of food in your fridge, frowning when you tried to cover it up.

another few minutes of her silence went by and you couldn’t take it anymore.

“look, i know you’re rich. i know you like to have luxury brands and that you don’t have to worry about whether or not someone will break in and steal what little you have left. but that doesn’t give you any right to judge me. i’m sorry i don’t live up to your expectations.”

natasha licked her lips and leaned her back against the kitchen counter.

“how long have you lived like this?”

her question caught you off guard, but you managed to find an answer.

“i’ve always lived like this, nat.”

she nodded solemnly before abruptly turning around to look at what was inside your cabinets.

“what are you do-”

“you have no food.”

you sighed, “well yeah, i can’t really afford it.”

“and the receipts?”

natasha was met with a shrug. “have to keep track of everything somehow.”

she stared at you a minute longer before finding the exact words she wanted to say.

“i would never judge you, or anyone for that matter, on their living situation. i know people don’t always have a say in what or why things happen.” she paused. “but i don’t like knowing you go to sleep every night with broken windows practically inviting anyone to come in and intrude. i don’t like knowing all you have to eat is bread, canned fruit and grilled cheese sandwiches.”

you listened to her ramble on, still nervous about the fact that this was new to her.

“so come live with me.”

“natasha-”

“come live with me.”

you immediately shook your head. “no, no, no. nat don’t even-”

“i’m serious. you won't win this argument, y/n. let me take care of you. i don't mind picking you up and dragging you out of here myself if that’s what it takes.”

a sigh left your lips as you folded your arms across your chest. “natasha, i can’t have you do that. i’m okay, i promise.”

the redhead raised her eyebrow. “how many times have you gone to bed hungry? or let your car run on fumes for as long as you could? and how many times have you gone to work sick because you can’t afford to miss one single day?”

when natasha was met with no reply she moved closer to you, wrapping her arms around your waist, pulling you into her embrace.

“i know it’s only been four months but i don’t think i could ever forgive myself if something happened to you and i didn’t do enough to stop it.”

she kissed the side of your head, “let me take care of you.”

[sparring-spirals]

okay! something something liveblog TLOVM s1 episode 8 LETS DO THIS I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO CASS (this one got long sorry)

call it influence of the Mighty “man we end up busting a ton of cults” Nein but lots of people chanting in the start of an episode put me on EDGE okay. anyway hello pike! :)

oh, sorry, more of a “hello pike :(” still going thru it, i see. breakups (with magical entities) are rough!

christ i was vibing too hard with the intro and got jolted by the whole “cass and percy” situation WHOOPS.

yay healing magic but also ohgOD are you putting dirt DIRECTLY INTO AN OPEN WOUND???? THAT SEEMS EXTREMELY- (I am dragged offstage by the collar)

anders, sir, i think percy might be a little too angry to appreciate your monologuing. classic miscalulation, you should’ve gotten at least half your monologue in BEFORE playing your big cards.

“this revenge is mine” “not if you’re dead” sorry percy your friends care about you and also are dramatic hoes who deliver one liners to undercut your one liner.

you know i made that quip and then Vex delivered the reverse one-liner about the long shot and... that might be a twin-specific thing. These dramatic hoes. I adore them.

pike 🤝 keyleth : muttering “please work please work” when they cast spells because of a complex relationship with themselves and their power

ADORABLE keyleth moment but also- CASS don’t SCREAM with your throat oh god Keyleth don’t GRAB her by her throat oh god don’t TILT YOUR HEAD BACKWARDS. *mutter mutter healing magic mutter mutter*

FUCKING charm person, always a bitch. anyway i love the little moments when they figure out a fight and do Good. before they kill each other.

SKJDFHALSJDGSHD this shouldn’t be funny but pike working her ass off panicking and worrying to reach the everlight and then she gets there and its just “who r u”

anyway: poor pike oh man :(

again: LOVE the moments of teamup and smoothness (right before they kill each other. but that vex/keyleth teamup! nice!)

me: oh no this is a 4v1! *watches percy get taken over by demon* ..... 4v2?

oh i was hoping someone would rip out his silver tongue but this is also good :) “work out all the angles” one-liner brain always at 100% huh percy

fantastic mundanity of VM chasing a tongue while percy strides by leaking smoke. like “ah yes, percy leaking smoke, we’ve all seen it now, CATCH THE GODDAMN TONGUE”.

again: sick one liners. and keyleth going “guys, the smoke!” thank u kiki.

i look up from stuffing cass into my pockets: what? no? i? what? listen shes mine now get away. anyway sibling relationships really got me *waves arms inarticulately* aaaa

ngl with the tone vex used for “kinda terrified... kinda impressed” that’s not what i thought the second half of the sentence was going to be. that said, from vex, what she said is probably the higher compliment.

keyleth looks so happy and at peace doing this, awww

yes i am googling “does slit throat cause blood to come out of mouth” yes it is for a shitpost on a fandom blog i run please do not arrest me

(i don’t think it does but i also didn’t research very hard)

i adore all these voice actors but matts delivery of “delilah, what are you doing” was a lil wack and made me laugh a little. did this man just wake up

1: *googles how much blood is in a human body* 2: sylas seeing this and just going 🤨 kajsdfhlasjdfh

fucking CHRIST everlight!! use a zone of truth like everyone else!! goddamn!!!

sorry, correction: fucking CHRIST everlight!! recommend a therapist like everyone else!! goddamn!!

I think there’s a genuinely interesting analysis/discussion around faith-driven guilt and “goodness” and etc but i also think its really funny- and sweet! that pike was like “im... bad.” after all this struggling :( and the everlight was like “nahw ur good nw ok see you”

okay seriously joking aside: this is a really, really lovely scene, and beautifully done. <3

“of course its zombies! fuck me!” listen Scanlan, that IS what you were asking for.

cinnamontography <3

overall:

- i really, really enjoyed this ep, actually! Not sure what it is but so far I’ve very much been enjoying the second ep in each of the releases lmao.

- a lot more medical and biological questions coming out of this ep than i was expecting, but that’s how it goes sometimes i guess.

- I think in general the little character interactions and quips in action/battle are some of my favorites- they always feel very right and are always so telling in multiple ways :’D like Vex being mean to Keyleth but trusting her in combat, speaks VOLUMES. Grog raging being about rage, but also about his friends. Who ducks and hides, who backs up who- augh. lovely.

- Cass. <3 like, I know, there’s still Some Things that’ll happen, but damn shes BEEN thru it okay. 

- Pike’s scene with the Everlight- so, so, so, good. In dialogue, in VA, the bit with the VM silhouettes- very nice.

- Percy got a ricocheting bullet shot and some VERY cathartic murder and we love that for him and also his smoke demon. but mostly for him.

[dijoin]

“A song nobody knows”

pairing: student jake! x gn! student reader!

note: it’s almost four am in the morning and im in some sort of emo feelings right now, which led me to this. I might erase it in the morning since I cannot proof read it and catch the probable million mistakes it has hehe but I hope you enjoy it.

warnings: none that my sleep deprived self is aware of.

Jake had a bright smile all the time, a goofy type of personality that attracted many but also fooled them. Most would say that he is the “fun class clown no brain” type of guy who just happens to showcase their humility and intelligence with no words.

So much that when he met y/n the first time, he could truly feel how tired they were behind that facade. He found himself troubled at the idea of a person like that, someone who seemed to be immersed in a deep dark blue and that the only thing that came out of them were grayish expressions just like if they were a breath away from passing out as if they lived in a silent and constant fatigue. He felt like he had to do something, he wanted to be there.

So his first step was asking them every monday and thursday if they could sit with them during chemistry class, the second was pretending to miss parts of the lecture just to ask to y/n if they had catch the content and added it to their notes and hopefully start a good conversation from there without making them feel uncomfortable or forced to.

His efforts were not in vain, even if y/n was a little dense most of the time they quickly felt a gut feeling about the browned haired guy who constantly chatted with them now.

“Hey Jake”

That gummy smile that characterizes Jake became so much bigger when he heard those simple words coming out of y/n’s mouth. It was as if he understood they were thanking them for reaching out to them and befriending them by coming over first to interact. Slowly, their conversations where held everywhere and became about more interesting things than how to classify acids and other technicalities it even became to the point where both of them had found such a safe place in each other that sharing their most complex feelings was easy.

Jake learned that y/n had a big pressure over their shoulders as they wanted to become a top student and get accepted to a great university to become independent and repay a lot of people their kindness, y/n learned that Jake felt lonely from time to time because no one seemed to like him as a friend if he was sad so he kept being like always even if it made him feel sick from time to time. That heavy blue and smoking gray that harassed y/n had liften up a little bit, all thanks to him and the avoidant happy virus had finally freed himself a little bit of what others wanted them to be.

Like a song nobody knows, they became aware of each other and their issues.

Like a song nobody knows, both connected and communicated with each other trough more than just simple textual meanings.

Like a song nobody knows, their lives tangled themselves together and transformed the moments they spent together as a precious memory.

note: i think it would somehow make more sense if you read it while listening to this playlist. i made it for comforting myself and sleeping better. N ways, I hope you are safe, healthy and happy.