#also i think i got an art block going on write now 😔😔😔 nothing is going right when i draw

[daz4i]

Honestly I'm with you that it is pretty hard not to get jealous whenever a fic gets suuuuper popular like that. Like when they write a fic, they get an entire fan base and waves upon waves of fanart; when I write a fic I get like three single sentence comments and one person listing every single thing wrong with it.

I know they don't decide to have that happen but like... What am I doing wrong? I'm trying my absolute best, I'm rereading and rewriting like ten times to make sure it's as perfect as it could possibly be, but no matter what I try, nothing works. Meanwhile they're like "yeah sorry wasn't feeling too well lately so this chapters not as good" and they get hundreds of comments, playlists for the their fic and a whole gallery worth of fan art.

Maybe I'm just bitter but it really does just crush your motivation and self esteem after a while.

this is an understandable reaction tbh 😔

for what it's worth, i don't think you're doing anything wrong. i can't say for sure bc none of my fics ever reached wild popularity or smth but i assume in their case it's a combination of

popular ship in an already popular fandom (also, gen usually doesn't catch on unless you're VERY lucky)

existing following. i noticed a lot of popular fic writers usually have a bunch of followers from stuff like art already

luck. ofc

common tropes. easily digestible stuff that is kind of familiar

length and consistent long term updates usually help (like, spreading it out as multiple updates keeps you at the top of tags when ppl click them)

this isn't for all of them. but like. one thing i noticed. and i mean this nicely. is smth i wanna call wattpad-style writing? kind of an underlying edgy vibe like more swears and ppl reacting to things in kind of extreme ways at times. every most-popular-fic-in-the-fandom i read fit that description, so. (i assume it's bc a big part of any fandom is teenagers, and this, well, fits a teen mindset)

if you don't wanna fall into common tropes and stick only to popular ships, it's better to stick to writing for fun, as hard as it is sometimes with no external validation 😔

i see why this would be very discouraging. i think ik who you are off-anon, and if I'm right then i saw comments you got on fics before, and yeah i would definitely get discouraged by these too

i think if you don't gain any joy from writing, it may be good to find an additional hobby, or try a different type of writing for now maybe :? (like if fics aren't working, try original work. or dabble in poetry. or switch up the genres etc. doesn't even have to be a long term thing, just to scratch the creative itch for now, and maybe get inspired to write what you're used to again)

i imagine you're probably tired of hearing that you should write for you and don't have to post it. bc i get wanting to get validation. so instead I'll tell you this is an extremely valid feeling, including the jealousy part. this is a very normal reaction honestly, and i could never blame you for having it

i will say tho! you should channel that feeling somewhere. not for others, but for your own sake. don't let bitterness eat at you or you'll always be miserable, and you deserve better than that :(

finding a new hobby can help with self-esteem (like, for example, baking smth and enjoying how it tastes, and feeling proud of yourself for making smth that tastes good) and is a good way to let out creative energy! it will take time, but maybe slowly you'll be able to lay out building blocks that will eventually make you feel confident enough in your own creation to not need external validation :0!

(ofc, you don't have to listen to any of this. please make sure to go at your own pace as well! either way i hope things turn out well for you, and i thank you for sharing your honest feelings with me!!)

[theboxfort]

How have you been doing Boxfort?

I've been. Sucked into object shows. I am so sorry to those who follow me for EW or TMC or otherwise. But these circular boys are in my brain 24/7. They are so shaped. I loaf them.

But other than that I've been doing good! :DD Going to the dentist, coming home and eating hot chip and lie, watching cartoon, attempt to draw for 2 minutes before giving up, etc etc :]