#also i think a god example of a healthy age gap wld be jenna and juliet!

[shopcat]

could you maybe elaborate on what "legal" age gap couples mean n why u don't like them? do you mean like an 18 year old and someone older or

i just woke up hi. um pretty much. i think it's super weird and makes me wildly uncomfortable but what makes me even MORE uncomfortable is when i talk abt this n ppl just don't GET IT but idk whadever we cant all share the same knowledge/experience and ideals i soppose but maybe think about y ur disagreeing w this in a very deep way lol. also this will b long but please still read it if u can :)

basically like yes i don't like and actually hate & despise & want to kill "ships" AND real life couples where the MATURITY gap is far too big and in some cases far too big to be HEALTHY. and i KNOW this is generally agreed upon n ppl know this for themselves pretty much instinctively but gee 4 some reason people like 2 argue it online

like there's a reason when ur a teenager u hate everyone younger than u even if it's by a literal year. it's bc u MATURE so rapidly as a teen that a 2 year gap is massive and a 3 year one ur not even on the same level anymore. a 12 year old and a 15 year old wouldn't be together, a 15 year old and a 17 year old wouldn't be together, and we know this levels out by the time you're growing older.

a couple that's 14 and 15 is like obviously fine. 20/21, 23/25, 27/30, 34/38, 37/54, its the dumb math u did as a kid when u had a crush on a celebrity where u were like well when he's 56 i'll be 46 so it'll be fine then. by the time ur on the same social economical MENTAL and physical maturity with someone else obviously the gap widens and it does it SAFELY. by the time ur mature enough to be an actual adult you can obviously be with most other adults, on the same playing field.

when you turn 18 u don't magically become an adult. when u turn 20 U DONT MAGICALLY become an adult. a 20 yr old and a 17 year old have far, far more in common than a 20 & 30 year old and this will ALWAYS be true (edit: as in, a 20 yr old has only just stopped being a teenager). this does NOT change on circumstance. you will never find the world's most mature and special 20 year old who deserves to date a 30 year old adult. ur on completely different levels in maturity AND in life, in physicality, in mentality. the difference between a high schooler and a college aged person and someone with a full time job and a paid off house and idk a funkopop collection are the difference between a grain of sand and a fucking mountain. your brain only stops fully maturing when you're 25 years old and until then you're STILL in adolescence. that's why say a 26/31 couple would be generally fine and based on circumstance THEN, bc they're generally in the same walk of life.

i don't think it's like, different for unique relationships or a circumstantial thing just bc u feel it should be. just because YOU know of some "really healthy" couples who have a big age gap doesn't mean they're actually healthy. i unfortunately have had FAR too much personal experience with this, every single high schooler who had a college aged boyfriend KNOWS this. there becomes a point where it becomes genuinely predatory, it becomes a point where you are a victim (obviously, the younger you are. i'm not saying a 30 year old and a 60 year old couple is predatory just like, odd). a teacher who's dating someone the same age as their students is predatory just the same as if it WAS their student, etc.

so like ya i don't think consenting adults can just generally choose who they want to date, no, and ppl hide behind it being "legal". that's way too broad a statement and also i have no idea what the idea of consent means there. when ur 18 ur legally in charge of ur own autonomy in most places around the world so does that mean if you consent to date the 31 year old man you've consented to be abused because HE preyed on you? and OBVIOUSLY consenting adults on the same MATURITY LEVEL can do whatever they want??!! but when ur 21 ur not even an actual fucking adult lol. (edit: idk what i was even trying to say here but like abuse is when some1 has the higher power + it is on the elder more mature person to use that maturity to not pursue relationships with much younger ppl, not on the younger person).

idk i just think society by and large has always had issues with ingrained predatory & pedophilic concepts and unhealthy age gaps are considered taboo when they should be considered incredibly fucked up and ur dad telling u he had sex with a 16 year old when he was 24 was fine back then because it was 1960 is still in fact fucked up. like come on we KNOW the count down clocks for underage celebrity women are creepy and predatory, we KNOW leonardo di caprio only ever dating women under 25 for as long as he lives is downright fucking putrid. just because it's a fictional couple doesn't mean it's suddenly like, fine bc it's not real. ur idealising and normalising these incredibly abnormal concepts in ur head and it is GENUINELY worrying, how come (normal) people can agree fiction affects reality until it's the fiction YOU personally like then it's well that's DIFFERENT.

also, just because you're an Actual Adult doesn't mean you can't be preyed upon or abused either!