#also i speak from experience here - printers are of the mf devil lmao

[eddsworld-enchanted-era]

When translated into English, alongside the results of the blood test, the text will look like this.

"I'll kill you Tord, and all of this world's inhabitants too!"

And the blood test results showed that it was one of the soldiers that went missing a couple months ago while investigating an strange noise impulse from Easter Island.

"I don't get it, sir - we lost approximately one man when you'd had us all at that mandatory vacation to Easter Island last week." Yanov states, a little confused, as he stands in Red's office.

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"Well, upon being handed a letter written in someone's blood, we often take samples to the lab boys to be certain that it's not infected, and to figure out who's blood, if human, could possibly have been used in place of ink."

"And... the tests we did seem to indicate this is their blood. The blood of the missing soldier."

"Right, right, so am I to assume that the blood is of the letter's author?"

"It could be, or it could be that someone found them and used their blood..." Yanov gives no absolute as he speaks, knowing there were a lot of possibilities - after all, Red Leader had many enemies.

He hands Red some paper, and Red sighs upon being handed back the original letter, plus the translated page, "Just another problem to deal with... I'll probably send the lower ranks to investigate." he murmurs as he scans over the translation, before he pulls a blank form from his desk, beginning to pen a notice that would soon go out to several of his lesser soldiers.

"You are dismissed, feel free to return to your own office - and wonderful translation work. You and your team are valued members of the crew, and we are all thankful for your work." Red rattles off the same sentence he used every time, the gratitude fading gradually every time he repeated it.

"A bit patronizing, but I... I guess it's always an honor?" Yanov speaks with a question in his tone.

"Look, just take the compliment in stride and get the fuck out of my office already." Red growls, a tone change that was not uncommon whenever he was to deal with any situation that required paperwork. After all, he fucking hated paperwork.

"Alright, I'll be on my way, sir." Yanov says as he exits the office.

"God... this whole thing gives me a headache. First, they get on track to locating me, and now something's fucking happening on Easter-motherfucking-Island... am I just the unluckiest motherfucker alive?" Red mumbles, finishing the page - however, in lieu of making insecure digital copies to then print, he pulls out several more of the same form and begins to copy down the text he'd just written. After the digital copies from the scanner had been repeatedly leaked to some dickhead in London, Red wasn't quite keen on using the printer/scanner combo units anymore.

Of course, he could always just learn how to scan directly to print rather than saving a PDF copy to print out - but he wasn't keen on attempting to navigate the labyrinth of menus to find one setting toggle that may or may not work - even a technological genius such as himself knew not to tussle with a printer. Printers lead to madness.