#also i need to finish the scream movies cus i only ever watched up to like 3 or 4

[foolbo]

ive been on a horror movie kick so if anyone wants to reccommend me horror movies thatd be cool

[insufferablelust]

THE ARTIST AND HIS MUSE (v)

Hi lovely people! it’s me again with the fifth installment of TAAHM, hopefully y’all enjoy this, as always thank you for your support, and excuse the grammatical errors. As i said before, this story is dark themed, so it can get triggering to some people, please read the warning, and read at your own risk.

WARNINGS : BEWARE DARK FIC. SMUT, Angst to the max, Mental Illness (PTSD, with severe anxiety and depression), Some Fluff, hints/mention of Suicide (doesn’t happen), Psychological abuse (in flashbacks), over sensitivity (both sexual and non sexual), hints of Masochism, Anxiety attack, Soft raw tender moments, aaand thats it.

———————

A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.To him a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. —Pearl S. Buck.

———🍃———

Little did they know, that night is going to be the beginning of a roller coaster ride.

———//———

It was already late when she opened her eyes the next day, her soft sigh occupied the quiet room as she scanned for the one person she craved the most, biting her lips at the cold left side of the bed sheet. However, he’s kind enough to leave the only thing she could reminisce about last night in a form of a long letter note he left on her night table, written with purple ink,

“Good Morning Y/N,

I hope you’re feeling well, although knowing how anxious you can get, i know your mind would wander off and we don’t want that. If you can remember what i said, then good but if you can’t, i said that i left because it’s more convenient for the both of us, not because i don’t want to be with you. Believe me, watching you sleep right now really put an image inside my memory that i’ll never forget, you’re so beautiful.

I hope you don’t mind, but i put on Debussy on your vinyl right now. I want you to know that we’ll still talk about it, preferably today, maybe we can go have dinner unless we have a case. There are things i never got the chance to say, and i think its time i finally tell you, later.

As for your past, we’ll also talk about that too. But i want you to not worry— yes i’m disappointed still, but i know why you did what you did. We’ll figure out a way.

Lastly, please take care.

Spencer R.”

By the time she had finished reading, her internal being is overflowing with emotions, dangerous ones that she won’t be able to control and she knows this. Her eyes teared up at the sight of ‘Classical Lover Etiquettes’ cued up on her record player. Her legs were incredibly sore, as much as her thighs and arms. There was just so much that’s happening, so much to feel, and she needed to escape.

Her feet dragged her to the balcony, inhaling the scent of life, breathe in heavily as she hoped— cross her fingers hoping to die that the amount of oxygen would be able to drown her from all the confusion, even more so the horrors that started to flows back in. Spencer opened a large deep wound that she had buried a long time ago, and then he showed her the way to paradise. He confuses her as much as she probably confuses him.

She wanted to apologize for being complicated, wanted to get on her knees again and show him how much she needs a savior right now; someone to love, and cherish to get her mind off of the horrible things in the past. She wants him to know that he can help her, by guiding her like he did the night before, by owning her like he said the night before, by loving her like he promised. She needs to be devoted to him, she would do anything for him.

She knows how damaged she is on the inside, she put up a persona every day so people could believe that she’s alive. But the only time she ever felt alive was with Spencer. The only time she ever wished she’s not complicated is when she’s with Spencer, His name consumed her like the opiates she used to take. He owned her soul already and she’s not letting that go. Even if the world stands in her way. She deserves this, this pure thing for once.

So she cried, hard. Hard enough for her neighbors to hear, to check up on her, but she wasn’t listening, she stayed crouched down in her balcony, her vision was blurry and she can’t think of anything— only Spencer.

“Spencer..” was the only thing she remembered saying before she witnessed darkness and drowsiness penetrate her eyes as well as her other senses— sending her to sleep.

———————————

Y/N didn’t even flinched when her father’s screams once again filled her ears, telling her how she doesn’t belong, she isn’t supposed to be here, isn’t supposed to exists. She could smell the strong scent of alcohol from his mouth, clouding her senses, but she refused to give in and cry, in fact she doesn’t feel a thing. Moreover, she’s just bored, her father never got violent with her, never laid a hand on her, neither does her step mother— well not when he’s around anyways.

By the age of 9, Y/N already knew what kind of man her father was, the kind that doesn’t want to admit reality, he’s a violent genius who works in the dark, with barriers covering all sides of his life. He never hurt Y/N physically, like he always claimed. But 12 years of psychological torture will fuck you up, she thought. She lived in isolation, and darkness where the only things she knew.. were alcohol, math, abuse, impending death, and screams.

She doesn’t have anyone related that’s nice to her, enough to shield her from all the abuse. The only person that could bring her peace is Mr. Bones, one of her father’s men. He always looked out for her, he gave her hope ever since she was old enough to know that being told you were never meant to be alive was not okay.

“I apologize, papa. It won’t happen again, I swear it.”

Her eyes stayed on the ground as she feels the warmth of his palm so close to her cheek, she yelled in her mind— her mind telling her to scream at the old bastard to “Hit me!”

“Hit me!”

“Make it hurt!”

“HIT ME!”

——

Y/N felt a jolt, her eyes searching for signs of where she might be but she can’t seem to open her eyes, the smell— is clean like iodine, the next thing she felt was the rough yet strangely comfortable sheets that grazes against her skin, And then she heard the talk, someone’s talking.. She recognized the voice well, so well like its imprinted deep in her soul, She tried to open her eyes.. yet she keeps on missing.

“S-she— i found her pale.. she was so pale and cold.. “ Spencer! her mind screamed, that’s Spencer.

“Spencer!” She tried to yell, but still nothing,

“Spencer please!” Nothing.

“What did her neighbor said?” Hotch!

“Hotch please i’m awake!”

“She was screaming, and they found her clutching her shirt tightly, she was crying and she.. she said my name over and over again, before blacking out.. thats why they called me first after calling 911” Is that true? she has been taking her meds, hasn’t she?

“Did anyone said that she was about to jump or anything like that?”

“No! No! Spencer i’m not suicidal!”

“N-no i don’t know.. Hotch i was with her last night, i should’ve—“

“Please don’t cry! please i’m sorry i love you i won’t do it again!”

“Hey no, she looked like she was having a panic attack. Has she ever mentioned anything about being depressed? or experiencing anxiety attacks maybe?”

“no... no... don’t tell him Spencer, you promised.”

“Stop the silence, Spencer you promised you won’t tell anyone.”

“N-no.. not that i know off.. she wanted company so i stayed with her, we watched movie.”

“Spencer...” She tried again, believing that it won’t work, he won’t hear her, maybe she’s not even here anymore— just floating away from her body. But when she saw his head turned towards her, she sighed contently, letting go of all the burden for a second just to hear him mutter her name in silence and peace.

“Y/N... you’re awake wait let me—“ before he could exit the door, Hotch pulled him back a little, telling him that “It’s okay, let me get the doctor.” Leaving Spencer and her alone.

Her heart rate accelerated as he sat down on the chair next to her, eyes filled with worry and fear— Y/N couldn’t take it, couldn’t bare to see how broken he looks, because she was selfish and complicated, because she was damaged.

“I-i wasn’t... trying to.. jump” Her voice came out laced with fragility, all raw and quiet. She’s trying to tell Spencer that she’s alright, as long as he’s here she’ll be alright. “Don’t.. please don’t blame yourself, it was an anxiety attack, a bad one.”

“Have you been taking your meds?” There it is, the question she has been hoping she wouldn’t have to answer. She looked down at his trembling hands, reaching to grab it but unable to do so because she realized now that she was restrained to the bed.

“Why am i being restrained?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“No Spencer i haven’t! now why am i restrained? i’m not a danger to anyone.” Y/N half yelled with a cracked voice, closing her eyes tightly at the tears that’s threatening to spill out of her eyes.

“Miss Bones, i see that you’re awake now.” Her eyes never leaving the sight of her cuffed wrist, ‘did they honestly thought you were planning on killing yourself?’

“I’m not suicidal, i’m an FBI agent for god’s sake.” The tone of her newfound voice surprised everyone including Spencer.

“Then why were you unconscious on the balcony of your apartment?”

“Because i haven’t been taking my pills! look, i haven’t for years now and i was fine. It was just rush of emotions, and i got overwhelmed okay? doesn’t mean i was going to jump. Believe me thats the last thing i would’ve wanted.” The last bit was a whisper, indicating the raw pain behind it. It was the truth, moments before you passed out you were thinking of Spencer, of how he’s your savior.

“Okay, Agent. We believe you, now why don’t you get some rest, and we’ll have you prescribed for something stronger, meanwhile i’m going to take the cuffs off” The doctor replied gently, except you know he’s not a doctor well he is but he’s a psychiatrist. Great, now everyone think she’s crazy.

——————

After the incident, you rarely talked to anyone on your team not because they don’t want to but because you won’t let them. You’ve caused enough pain, so the last thing you want to see is the pity on their eyes and face, it was nice seeing how they care though— sometimes in the mornings you can hear Garcia and JJ dropping new baskets full of goodies and treats for you to try. Sliding a note underneath your door before leaving.

Hotch insisted you to take a month break, which you would’ve tried to argued but you knew you didn’t stand a single chance. You could’ve lose your job, he could’ve fired you for lying about your psychological problems and endangering yourself but he didn’t, though he wanted you to take the break, and do another psych eval, so you agreed.

The bad thing about not going to work, except the obvious fact that you miss your work family and you missed out on catching men women alike your father and his killer— is not seeing Spencer often enough. It made you anxious just thinking how he’s doing constantly, Prentiss has said in a text that ‘he seems okay, just a little off’ in which you ended the conversation quickly, not wanting to let invasive questions spring up to life.

You’ve tried to contact him multiple times, yet he never answered the calls, there was one time where he had responded your text; it was the one after you told him that you haven’t eaten and taken your meds because thats what you do now, pretending like he actually listens you, that day you heard a knock, before finding out that there was a box of pizza; the tuna, with creamy mushroom kind, your favorite. Spencer is the only one who knew about it, so it was him. You cried that night knowing that he was close... yet you didn’t see him.

After that, nothing. Nothing at all, until it was your 17th day isolated in your apartment trying to get better. A therapist from FBI was supposed to come today, checking up on you, Hotch’s order. So when you heard a knock, you opened the door without looking.

“Y/N...”

“Hi you must be the— Spencer?” You eyes went wide as you recognized the person standing at your door, you swear your knees buckled finally seeing him again after so long. His hair seemed longer, his eyes has bags under them, he doesn’t look fine.

“Spencer, you look—“

“Can i come in?” His voice startled you, it was deep, deeper than you remembered it last.

“Yes, yes please come in..” You watched him enter your house, eyes scanning through every bit of everything, probably profiling your condition. So you let out a chuckle as you close the door, “I’m fine Spencer, unless you didn’t notice, i’m doing therapy 3 times a week plus routine visits from every therapist in town it seemed like. So i’m good” the tone of your voice reflects sarcasm and you know it, but how can you help it when he wont even look at you.

“Thats good..” He mumbled, sitting down on the couch where you two talked the last time about your past, you remembered that night’s event so clearly you could’ve sworn you have an eidetic memory. “You haven’t been sleeping have you?”

“no.” you sat down next to him, deciding that you shouldn’t touch him even if you wanted to.

“Why?”

“Because i worry about you.”

“Spencer, i told you i’m—“

“No! no you can’t say that you’re fine, again. do you know what you did me? after the night we had, you basically suffered an anxiety so bad you collapsed on your balcony, while whispering my name. You don’t get to say that you’re fine, i deserve more Y/N.”

You didn’t flinched even once when you heard his voice raised, if anything you just close your eyes and not let the volume of his voice get inside your head, “Everyone who yells is the same like your father, wake the fuck up” is what your mind been telling you but you refused to listen to it, Spencer is good, he’s a good man. So you controlled your breathing for a second before opening your eyes to see Spencer’s face begging for answers.

“You’re right, you deserve answers and you’ll get your answers but can you please listen to me and don’t interrupt? Spencer, i need the space if you want me to tell you, the space to make you understand.” Your palm move on top of his to see his reaction, you expected him to swat your hands away or at least flinched but strangely he let out a pleasant sigh, like he was relieved, like every weight has been lifted off of him.

“Okay, i’m sorry for—“

You cut him off before he could say what he’s sorry for, you don’t need it— his reactions are normal, too normal that it makes you fall in love with him over and over again. “Shh, don’t. You don’t have to explain, you don’t have to respond, just.. wait here, i’ll tell you everything okay..?”

With a nod you get from him, you stand up to make two chamomile teas, bringing it to where Spencer is sitting on the couch, then after you put on Gymnopédie on your record player, you sit down next to him. To your surprise, he leaned and laid his head on top of your thighs, curling up on the couch— which sent a smile to your face, you haven’t smiled for so long and of course Spencer Reid is the one who put your first smile since.. you don’t even remember when.

————

“It’s one of my favorite, I love the serenity of it.” You whispered, as your fingers ran through his soft hair. Relaxing your back against the couch and enjoying the tune of one of your favorite classical of all time. Spencer smiled at that, you swore the smile could lit your insides like nothing else.

“I’m a beethoven guy, but i guess Satie is alright..” He laughs, his laugh sounded like heaven, his smile and laugh makes you dizzy. This is the Spencer that makes your heart pound ten times faster, and the one that makes you lost for words each time, the one that you’ll love... too fast Y/N, too fast.

“Of course you are, it’s not hard to see..”

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

Spencer looked up at you, he looked so pure like this, like he was made to justify every wrong things that has been done, like he’s an angel that protects the earth from filth. He’s pure and tender, it takes all of your willpower to not lean down and kiss him.

“Oh yes, explanation.” You laughed awkwardly, eyes refusing to meet his. “Look at me, please” You shake your head at his demand, your eyes still trailing to where the record player is going.

“Look at me, Y/N.” You did, you looked. Under any other circumstances, the authoritative tone would instantly leave you dripping wet ready to submit to him. But this time, you only whimpered and nods.

“Good girl, now tell me” He cupped your cheeks, the gentle gesture sent you to oblivion.

“I don’t know where to start..”

“I heard the beginning is a great start.” His lips tugged into a wide smile, you heart warmed at the sight before you sigh, your fingers still curling and uncurling itself on his hair.

“I opened up to you that night, it’s something strange for me, i told you something that i swore i would never tell anyone, but i told you because.. because you were right, you are right Spencer. And i guess after that we took it to a whole new different level, i want to be able to do all the things with you and cross all boundaries but it’s something new to me, so that morning when i... woke up alone, it was scary, i felt so small and sad in such a big space. I was overwhelmed, by the thought of letting another person in, i don’t wanna take it slow but then again the transition won’t be easy for me.” Spencer opened his mouth as he was about to say something, but you simply leaned in shakily and press a quick peck on his lips as a sign that you’re not done yet, to your surprise he pulled you down one more time and let the kiss linger this time before letting you pull back, whispering a small “go on.”

“I lived in isolation most of my life, the only taste of real life emotions i ever got was the moment right after my graduation. The man who saved me, he teached me social skills, and the basics of.. of having this gift of rawness emotions. But i’ve been so closed off, i realized its just not possible for me to fall in love or feel such a strong emotion towards another, the only strong emotion i’ve ever known before this was.. hatred towards my father and his killer.

I had PTSD when i was 13, consistent with severe anxiety and depression, at one point Mr.Bones insisted that i...i started talking to myself, admitted me to a psychiatrist where i got my.. antipsychotics for um the voices. But i came out well, and he promised me that if i was able to make it, he would change my identity, stripped me out of my old misery, give me a new one, my father was a very very important man where he worked, so does his men including Mr.Bones. Thats why before i was 21, there’s no record of Y/N Bones existed because.. i didn’t, i never existed.”

Y/N ended it with a smile, looking down at Spencer whose eyes brimming with tears. She shook her head, her trembling fingers wiping the traces of tears. “Hey no no, please don’t cry, please it’s hurt to see you cry..” She whimpered.

“Spencer please say something..” Her eyes pleaded with her, as he sat up, before inching closer to her and before she even processed the warmth of his body, his lips pressed themselves against hers in a gentle loving way. His thumb stroking her soft supple cheek, as his lips took its time to explore every inch of hers, imprinting how it feels so he can remember it all the time. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck as he guided her to his lap, pulling back a little.

They stared at each other for such a long time, before Spencer move his hand downward— tugging on her shirt. “Do you want to?” His voice rise your goosebumps to wake, all the adrenaline rushing through your core as you nod eagerly. “Please”

——————

“Tchaikovsky.”

“what?”

“This is tchaikovsky.” Spencer looked up at her, seeing how needy but beautiful she is, her skin glistening under the dim lights, her lashes are wet, her eyes glassy, and her lips bitten raw. He smiled admiring her before continuing his exploration down her labia, stroking it gently— almost like he’s teasing her.

“yes Spencer this is, Oh god!” you stopped mid-sentence as you felt the warmth of his tongue exploring from her slit up to her clit, flicking the sensitive button gently— Holy mother! doesn’t he know how sensitive she is?

“I’m pretty sure Tchaikovsky isn’t god, Princess.” the doctor giggles as his fingers tracing her tummy gently, caressing every mark every curve every indent every scar so so gently to show her how much he appreciates her, appreciate her beauty— all of it.

“Shut up!” She whined and shuddered as she feels him burying his face against her sensitive pussy, tongue swiping side to side at her slit as his nose bumps against her clit sending intense pleasure throughout her body making her jolt and convulse as she tug on his hair.

“Are you sure that’s wise, princess? i’m the one in charge of your orgasm here” Her legs quivered, his tongue push inside her and explore every inch of her inside— moaning at the taste and catching every drop.

“Sorry! so sorry Spencer, just don’t stop!” Oh how sweet is that, her voice cracked at the end, meaning he’s doing a good job. And the boy wonder does seek for praises sometimes.

“Never planning on it, love.” He mumbled against her pussy before inserting two fingers in, and moving them in a brutal pace whilst her tongue and lips sucking on her clit.

“Oh! Spencer, you’re so good at this” Her eyes shut tightly, as her fingers gripping his hair— she’s practically grinding against his face which he moaned at the sight and taste of her, oh so heavenly.

“C’mon Princess, come for me then i will give you what you’ve been waiting for” oh the way she clenched around her fingers so tightly, made him groaned and shut his eyes tight as he works her over the orgasm

“Spencer! oh! thank you!” Every inch of her skin was burning and her brain was mush. So much pleasure, that she could die happily now. Her body shivers still, when he comes up to leave tiny kisses on her face. “Good girl.” Spencer then align himself at her entrance, sliding the tip up and down her pussy.

“Ready, princess?”

“Yes.. yes please?” With a smile on his face, Spencer bent Y/N’s knees before pushing the tip of his cock inside of her slowly, indulging in the velvety warm walls that welcomed his cock. The feeling is like home. Her mouth agape, as her eyes roll at the back of her head, and her fingers intertwined with his.

He stilled inside her for awhile as he let out grunts of how “so warm and tight, pet” she is. He then leaned down to press a gentle loving kiss on her lips before thrusting his cock in and out of her slowly, keeping the pace light as they both relinquish all the frustrations out, and indulging in each other’s warmth. It’s perfect.

“so— full, Spencer..” Her desperate whimpers was the one that egged him to move faster, thrusting his hips so every-time he thrusted in, the sounds were slapping of skins and their moans. But when one particular deep thrust, her cunt involuntary clenched around his cock and she screamed “Thats it! thats it fuck!”

Spencer grinned, before letting go of her hand to grip her waist, pulling her closer to him then continue to fuck her with a torturous brutal pace, hitting the spot over and over again. “I’m not going to last if you keep- fucking clenching that tight cunt Y/N” He warned, eyes glinting with a dangerous look like how he was that night. Feral.

Strings of plea left her mouth as she arched her back, he was so deep— filling her to the brim and making her feel good.

“Please cum inside me!”

“I will baby, i will. But first you gotta cum alright? can you do that? i know you can, c’mon” His breathing labored as he move even faster, her headboard banged against the wall, and her body bounced. With one final deep thrust, they reached their peak, and shuddered at the feeling. Spencer pulls out before grabbing a wet cloth from the beside table and carefully wiped her sensitive areas, causing goosebumps that were dying down to rise again.

“Swan lake” Was the first thing she muttered as her legs still quivering, Spencer looked up at her confusedly as he set throw the cloth to the dirty hamper and laid down beside her once more, cuddling her to his side.

“What?” he asked, his fingers running through her hair.

“Tchaikovsky’s, Swan lake was playing.” They both laughed at her answer, shaking their heads. It wasn’t until Y/N’s eyes flickered to his hazy ones, that they muttered it together,

“I love you—“

“I love you—“

———————

TBC!

As always, TAGLIST is open, blurb requests are also open any genre of course, send them in along with suggestions and/or constructive criticisms! thank you. Just message me or send me an ask :) thank you for supporting. I’M SO SORRY FOR THE REUPLOAD, the TAGS DOESNT WORK TUMBLR IS MEAN TO ME AGAIN❤️

( @blancastans @spencerwaltergubler @slutforthegubes @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @babybloomer @liaabsurd @midnightsubmissives @addie5264 @maybankslut @secretpickleprofessordean )

[harrysgoldenline]

I know it's been done a million times but what if Harry out of nowhere suddenly compares you to Camille or any of his ex and it's angst but also very sad 😔✊

Differences

It was just a normal day, everything was fine- amazing actually. Having a cuddley fun day filled with love making, movies and all kinds of snacks, but things turned south rather quickly.

“Can we watch Tangled next?” Y/N asked with a smile, looking up at her boyfriend as her head laid on his shoulder, “or just any princess movie? Really in the mood for one.”

“God, you are so different from Camille.” Harry dryly chuckled, rolling his eyes in disbelief, “she was always so mature and, like, proper and you’re just like a little kid.”

“What?” She squeaked out in shock, surprised a sound even came out.

Y/N had always been insecure about her age, already been younger than Harry made Camille even more so her senior in relation to the age difference between the ex-lovers... something Harry knew.

She had always been insecure about their relationship period, granted she felt guilty for. She felt silly feeling so inadequate and insecure about a woman he had previously been with long before she met him, but the girl was only human. A non model, average looking girl human.

And Harry loved her! Wrote a whole album about her and knowing the man he is she knew he had big plans and just the thought of them together made her nauseous with jealously.

“What?” He asked, seemingly unaware of the mental turmoil she was under, the demons screaming in her mind all that was wrong with her, wondering when was the last time they spoke and if he compared her to the other often... how often he thought of her.

After seeing her blank expression and glazed over eyes, now father away as she scooted away from him, sitting off by herself on the couch.

“I’m sorry I can’t change my age.” Y/N whispered, “believe me, I would if I could. Anything to get me to be more like her.”

As soon as she finished, Y/N quickly stood and ran off to their bedroom, letting the tears flow once she was around the corner and out of sight, sobbing into the pillow the second she fell into it.

Y/N was never one to run away from an argument, believing it needed to be talked out and discussed, no matter how hard it is. But this hardly felt like a fight to her and more like a confession, as confession that he was still thinking of her, still loved her. And how she would never be enough.

Her tears ran like a faucet with a broken handle, unable to control herself as she hugged her pillow tightly, trying to transfer the pain into it, but of course failing.

She wanted to scream, cry out and yell how she felt, but she just couldn’t even find the words to explain. She didn’t even know how to start. How are you? How are you supposed to tell the man your in love with that you wanna spend forever with him when he is still hung up on somebody else? Has he been thinking this the whole time?

“Darling?” She heard a soft voice and Y/N gripped the pillow tighter, turning and moving it so her back was to the door, pulling the covers up closer to her neck and burying her face in the pillow, wishing she could disappear.

“Baby, what are yo- Oh fuck baby.” Harry whispered, a heart wrenching sight in front of him as she was curled in a ball, seeing her knuckles turning a ghostly white from her tight grip on the pillow, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have- I didn’t mean it.”

Y/N shook her head quickly, trying to signal she didn’t want to talk, hoping he would take the hint and just go away, but of course he didn’t. He slowly approached the bed, Y/N feeling it sink a bit under his weight and she could feel his ghostly touch from how close his hip was to her back.

“Don’t touch me!” She screeched the second his hand came in contact with his back, and both parties flinch. Harry in shock and Y/N arching away from his touch as if it burned her. Her voice instantly turning soft as she refused to look at him still, quivering as she forced out through sniffles, “just go. I-I just wanna be alone.”

Harry say quite a few moments, thinking back to the many rom coms he has seen and wondering if this is the situation where you are supposed to stay or you are really supposed to leave. The bed squeaked quietly under his weight, his body unconsciously swaying slightly as his mind swayed back and forth between the two ideas.

“A-are you sure? We can talk later and just cu-cuddle- or I can just sit here with you now or if you want we can-“

“Go.”

Harry nodded, knowing she couldn’t see, his hand coming up to run through her hair but stopping himself as he stood, retracting his hand and squeezing his own tightly, feeling immense pressure from not trying to comfort her.

“Okay, I’ll be in the living room. Just come out there or call for me and I’ll be in here in an instant.” He whispered, voice hoarse as tries his best to hold in his tears, feeling as if he doesn’t deserve to cry, knowing he was the one who fucked up, “.... I love you... I’m so in love you, Y/N... I’m so sorry.”

He bite his bottom lip, hoping for some kind of hum or nod or any kind of return, but he was only met with hushed cries, seeing her pull the pillow tighter to her chest and he could feel his own cave in.

As Harry turned on his heel, he headed to the living room after shutting the bedroom door quietly, wondering if he just fucked up the best thing to ever happen to him.

***

Harry sat out there for two hours and forty three minutes and he cried the whole time, tugging on his hair as his fingers ran roughly over his face, dragging the skin to try and relive the grief he was feeling.

And Harry surely knew how she was feeling, he knew exactly what thoughts he put in her head. She was going, innocent even, hardly ever being with anyone besides him so him having that serious relationship before her, worried her. After only having Harry and loving him so much, she wondered how anyone could stop, and she knew how hard Harry loved too.

He knew it scared her, reassuring her that he wanted her, just her and how much he loved her clearly wasn’t enough.

Maybe it was but you just had to fucking ruin it, didn’t you dickhead? Harry thought to himself, wanting to scream aloud.

A soft patter came from the hall made Harry perk up, seeing Y/N come around the corner with puffy eyes and messy hair, the saddest angel he had ever seen.

“Love?” He grabbed, standing from the couch and rubbing his matching eyes, approaching her quickly but stopping as he noticed her flinch slightly, “I’m sorry, fuck, here um, do you want some water? Tea?”

“Tea please.” She whispered, voice cracking and dry as she avoided eye contact, “can we uhm... talk please?”

The word talk a much higher octave, looking down and seeing the girl bite her bottom lip as more tears welled up in her eyes and she looked to the ceiling, cursing under her breathe and wiping then quickly, making Harry wonder if she had to practice talking before coming out, knowing how hard it is for her to tak when she’s upset.

“Absolutely.” He assured, quickly grabbing her two favorite mugs and brewing the hot water, “why don’t you get comfy in the bed and I’ll be in there the second these are done, yeah? Unless you would be more comfortable out here.”

“The bedroom is okay.” She nodded, making eye contact for the first time in hours, “I-I’ll be in there.”

She quickly turned her head down before scurrying away, leaving Harry by his lonesome again, although his heart started to regain speed both with nerves and excitement at the ability to just try and talk this through.

A few minutes later, both cups were ready and he carried them to the bedroom, setting hers down on her night stand before moving over to his side, setting it down before hesitantly crawling in beside her, the lovers turning to face each other instantly.

“What did you say that?” Y/N whispered, “If you... if you still love her I understand but please don’t do this to me anymore.”

“Still love her? Absolutely not. Not even in the slightest, darling.” Harry instantly spoke, shaking his head and scooting a bit closer as she stared up at him wide eyed, “I don’t know why I said it and i really don’t know why I said it like that but I swear it wasn’t meant to say be like her. I love you because you’re you.”

“... do you think about her often?” She whispered, heart pounding and she reaches behind herself, grabbing the mug and using it to distract herself, “do you compare me to her a lot?”

“No!” He shot back, nearly wanting to laugh at how obvious it was to him but there is no way to prove that, “I never do, honest! I don’t know just tonight, just spending the whole day with you doing nothing and thinking about nothing and not talking about work or anything having to do with it... was so nice. I realized how amazing the simple things are and I’ve never had that before.”

“But why did you have to say her na-“

“Because before I met you, I thought that the relationship I was in, was perfection. And I was so wrong, even looking back at the good times we were always bringing up work or do something like that. With you, I get to be myself all the time... you make me feel young again.” Harry explained, hesitantly teaching over and intertwining their fingers, smiling when she didn’t pull away, “I know i shouldn’t have said it and I sure as hell shouldn’t have said it like that, but you know I’m not so good with talking sometimes...”

Y/N let out a slight giggle at that, thinking back to when Harry met her family and just could not form a proper sentence the first hour within being there. Also thinking back to their first few dates, how nervous he was and how he mixed around his words.

The sound made him smile, his other hand pushing away the stray hairs from her face and smiling at her, “I love you so much, Y/N. Just you and only you forever and I’m sorry your stuck with me because I can be a bit of a twat.”

Y/N starred up into his eyes a few moments before scooting closer and falling into him, arms going around him as her face nuzzled against his chest, “yeah, you can be.”

Harry chuckled lowly and Y/N giggled at the slight way it tickled her cheek that was pressed against him, pulling away and looking up at him, “I’m sorry if I acted crazy, I just know how much you loved h-“

“You didn’t act crazy, I was a proper arse.” He sighed, leaning his forehead against hers, “and notice the past tense? This love with you is so different and real... so intense it scares me, that’s why I fuck up sometimes. Don’t know why you stay with me.”

“Because I love you so so so much....” She whispered, pressing her lips softly against his jaw, “and that’s why I get so crazy emotional, I’m so scared of losing you...”

“I’m not going anywhere, stuck with me till the end of time.”

“Good.”

Harry states at her, thumb running over her cheek bone as her admired every small detail of her face, “I’m sorry I made you cry... I’m sorry I made you feel so hurt.”

“I’m sorry I made you feel the same.” She shyly frowned, looking down at the sheets in her own shame, “promise I’ll try and get better at talking, shouldn’t have pushed you away.”

“Well I shouldn’t have been a dick.” He chucked, making her laugh which made her smile which made Harry happy, “I’ll do anything to keep that smile there.”

The pair quickly leaned in, pressing their lips together as they almost instantly molded into one another, Y/N crawling on his lap. They both had their arms tight around each other, hardly letting the other person move as the met their lips softly meet.

“What princess movie are we gonna watch first, Princess?” He smirked, pressing a playful kiss on her neck making her let out a loud laugh, “Were watching them all.”

[snapecanslytherinin]

How are they still employed??

I hope you enjoy!! No warnings just fun times!!!

Word count: 2099

..........................................

How they got employed? Well that is relatively easy to answer; they all aspired to be a part of the Behavioral Analysis Unit in Quantico, Virginia and showed great strengths with the ability to easily pinpoint the places the criminals would flee, along with having an outstanding skill in getting information from them that they needed. How they STAYED employed? I can promise you that it is a mystery to each of them at this point. Between the pranks they pull, how much they truly annoy Strauss and how they all barely manage to turn in paperwork done correctly and on time, it is truly an American mystery by now.

There is the time that Kira was caught posting criminal dick pics on Strauss' facebook account, thank god Aaron was the one to catch Kira, or they may have gone missing. Or the time Vel kept hacking the main sound system and played emo hits for the entire day which only made her sad. Then you have the time that Sammy 'kept telling Reid blatantly incorrect facts which ended with him crying in Hotch's office and Hotch taking away Sammy's internet at work for a week. While they may be crucial to the team and how they function, everyone has thought about giving them three their own office to share, hoping to keep the chaos controlled. I feel the best way to explain how these heroes function is just a list of the chaos from the past month.

Kira

1. Monday morning, at precisely 8:30, the bull pen is filled with the sound of a scream from Vel who is currently standing on Reid's desk, using him as a personal shield. Hotch comes flying out of his office, only to see a cackling Kira in the corner and instantly knows Vel has been pranked. Sighing and walking to the back of her desk he sees a rubber realist spider, and rips it off from where its taped. Kira instantly knows they are in trouble when they see the famous Hotchner glare.

"My office. Now."

2. "So how do you think he will react?" Kira asks perched at the edge of Sammy's desk.

"I don't know, but keep me out of it. I'm still in trouble for stapling Hotch's tie to the desk." Before Kira could react, a bombing Italian voice sounds from behind them.

"Kira, I know you are the culprit. Stop putting pasta sauce in my drawers. Do you understand how infuriating it is to expect a pen but get A JAR OF PASTA?!?"

3. Sitting in front of the criminal with Emily at Kira's side, they stare dead at the creep, surprisingly making them shift uncomfortably in the seat avoiding eye contact. The team needed information and decided that Kira was best fit to make him regret ever keeping a secret.

"So" Kira finally speaks up, " you like to murder people huh?"

"Yeah, sure. Why else would I do it?" They answer back sarcastically?"

"Tell me, how would you murder me?"

Walking from the interrogation room, criminal pulled off behind them, Kira walks straight to Hotch, a Proud look across their face, Vel and Sammy running over to hear the news.

"How did you get him to talk?" Hotch questions, a weary eyebrow raised.

"Well I asked how he would murder me, and he isn't a sexual sadist, so APPARENTLY vigorously letting out sexual moans when he explains what he would do and talking about getting some alone time together, it can really make a murderer uncomfortable, and fess up."

Vel

1. Rolling in to the bull pen, Vel slides by Morgan and spins to face the others desk, sitting on top of her own, slushie in hand. Losing a deal with Kira, Vel had to show up to work in roller skates, and deciding to spice it up some, she chose to add heart sunglasses, a work appropriate red flared skirt and a FBI navy shirt she found at a goodwill a year back.

"What in the world are you wearing?" Morgan asks a smile making an appearance.

"I lost a bet, so this is my work outfit. Nowhere does it say I can't wear roller skates. The sunglasses and space buns are just to add to the effect. I think it's very work appropriate!"

The first two hours of the day went along without a hitch until she was called into Strauss' office, for some unknown reason.

"What are you wearing Agent?"

"Well ma'am, I looked through the entire handbook and it says nothing about roller skates, my skirt is the correct length, and if I'm honest, I think I look amazing."

She was excused from the office since, she was correct and Strauss couldn't say a word about it, having her get back to work. Instead of doing the files she needed done, she chose bother Morgan by trying to talk him into getting a pair, showing them off to a proud Rossi and also getting avoid by Hotch, since every time they crossed paths, Vel would grab his sleeve for a free ride, and he refused to let the office see him cackling at the interaction he actually found amusing.

2. It was a rainy Friday afternoon, which resulted in Vel choosing to stay in for lunch, and bug the shit out of Hotch until he murdered her, or found a way to shoo her off; which would be quite hard, because she knew how to talk her way out of a goodbye, jesus does this child have issues? (yes)

Hanging upside on the couch, legs crossed over the back, Vel sat there as a disgruntled Hotch was placed a few feet away at his desk, trying to finish his current pile of work.

"Do you think star fish have feelings?"

"I don't know, Vel."

"Would you kiss Rossi for 500 bucks?"

"I'd rather choke."

"If I lost my voice what would you do?"

"Cry happy tears, probably."

"Fuck, marry, kill; Me, Morgan, JJ?"

"Language, Agent."

"Answer the question."

"Kill Foyet, get rich, never play this game again."

"Nothing about that answer was correct!"

"Fine, fuck, marry, kill, me or Morgan. Only two choices."

"Kill myself."

"WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT THIS!!"

"You are super pretty, Hotch, you know that?"

"Thank you. Please shut up."

"Do you like me?"

"I can't imagine where I would be without you and the other two migraines."

That left a smiling Hotch and a quite Vel, choosing to take a nap, now tired from all of her questions. Plus who could pass up a nap on his couch?

Sammy

1. "No okay, but hear me out, Reid. It's a talking Mongoose!"

"It isn't real Sammy! why would you believe that!"

It is the last time Reid will insult Sammy's cryptids, I mean what kind of monster do you have to be to argue with Sammy about something so fun and exciting!

It is a week later on the jet, coming back from a long case in Ohio and everyone is thrilled to finally go home. After take off everyone does their own things, Hotch and JJ do some finalizing on paperwork, Morgan listens to music, Rossi and Emily share a drink, Kira and Vel watch a horror movie together, which normally Sammy would join, but instead he sits next to boy genius, rereading a book.

"Wanna play some chess?" He asks with a chipper tone.

"Of course Sam, I'd love to!"

Pulling the board over to them, Sam asks if Reid will grab them some drinks, to which he obliges leaving Sammy alone with the board. Quickly setting up the pieces, he adds a little extra love to Spencer's pieces, him arriving shortly after.

"Let's get this game started!" Trying to move a black piece, Spencer's eyes grow wide before letting out a girlish screech, realizing that Sammy glued his pieces down to the chess board.

While that action got him work grounded for two months, and the out of pocket money to buy a new board, Sammy was content, and Reid learned to not question the cryptids ever again.

2. Sammy wasn't one to often interrogate, usually bored by the slow place or ready to fist fight the room's occupant, but when he does enter that work area you can imagine, just like Kira and Vel, he himself also has an interrogation quirk that shows itself in each case.

"Listen, just fess up to the fucking murder, and I'll hand over the candy of mine you've been eyeing the entire time."

"THIS IS THE LAST TIME I WILL ASK! ARE YOU GOING TO ADMIT TO FIRST DEGREE MURDER, IF I CAN PROMISE YOU'LL GET A LIFE TIME SUPPLY OF COOL RANCH DORITOS!?!?"

"Okay I know this is super serious, and I usually offer the snacks to the criminals for information, but Hotch, if I can talk Vel into sharing her Mac n Cheese cups with you on the jet, will you go drink some water, you look like you could pass out."

All of that is relatively normal, but the next encounter is not something anyone on the team expected to happen, and frankly, caused Vel to have to use her inhaler from laughing so damn hard.

There the team sat, a long dark wood table in the court room, under their clasped hands as they awaited the trial for themselves. The BAU has gotten in trouble before, but when they failed to remove all by standers before trying to take down and apprehend a bomber, resulting in injuries, there they all stood on trial for their actions. In front of them were the supervisory board, all very scary mean looking men, who were bound to scare Penelope and Vel more than any criminal they've seen before. Each person got their own moment alone with the board to speak, although he others were still near by and could hear the events of each private session. Sammy's came third to last, passing Emily who was on her way out. Sitting down he crossed his arms on the table and looked as professional as Hotch could convince him to, waiting for the question to be asked. After arguing with them for what seemed like every question, Sammy had, had enough and knew he was going to be suspended anyways, so thought to have at least a good exiting line.

“Would you like a snickers, Sir? They say you aren’t you when you’re hungry and you are being annoying as fuck right now.”

With that last comment he was excused with a week extra of suspension, but he couldn't care less. He got to get away from that grouch bag and that's just an extra week to go visit his favorite folklore.

THE THREE PIGEONS (DON'T ASK, NO ONE KNOWS)

1. No day was greater for the pigeons, than when they decided to hide tiny plastic babies around the office. They put them where ever they could manage; in everyone's coffee cups, taped to pens, glued to paperclips. The best was when Hotch when to open his bottom desk drawer only to find it filled with tiny babies, the look on his face causing the trio to burst out laughing, and out themselves as the culprits.

2. When I tell you they like to mess with Hotch, I mean this man can never get a moment of silence when they are around (Even though he enjoys their company, he would never admit it) which brings us to the great season of summer, when he couldn't get them vacation time to go camping, he walked into his office the next day, to see a tent step up in the center of the room and his furniture pushed to the side. On the floor sat the group, in pjs, laying in sleeping bags and watching a movie on a tv they somehow managed to get in. The day was filled with forcing to watch one with them on his lunch break, having to quiet the laughter when he got a phone call, and by the end of the day, the whole team was in Hotch's office to do paperwork and enjoy the "camping".

Although they create mass chaos and definitely made some things harder than they have to be, the team would be lost without them, and they sure in hell would be lost without each other in this work force. Now just wait until you hear the story of how they become the BAU teams fuck toys ;) [for legal reasons that last comment was a joke....unlessssss]

@davidrossi-ismydad @good-heavens-chris-evans

[mattyofthelongfields]

1 to 20 with 20 being, "why do you like Xena"

Thanks for the numbers, hon! ya know, even if I was supposed to answer 21 and not 20... I’m still going to answer both cus I’m fun like that! Also sorry this took longer than expected!

1: what was the first movie you can recall ever watching?

oh man... To be honest I have early memories of my older sister watching Starship Troopers while she was babysitting me and I caught a glimpse of one of the gorier scenes (I was supposed to be napping) and I had nightmares for days... But I didn’t watch the whole thing so I guess it doesn’t count. So the answer would most likely be Homeward Bound.. which I kind of watched over and over because I was obsessed with dogs ^^’

2: what’s your least favorite holiday?

Probably Easter. It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just that my family have never really celebrated it (except maybe family lunch during the recent years and of course Easter eggs)

3: are you an auditory, visual, or tactile learner?

I guess out of the three I’m more of a tactile learner. I have a really big problem with focusing and taking in information and visualizing how things are supposed to be done. For example when I’m sewing and reading the instructions I can’t visualize what they mean, but if I’m shown how it’s done and walked through it, it becomes a lot easier.

4: do you have allergies?

We’re not 100% sure because it’s rare but for the last 11 years we’ve been pretty sure that I’m allergic to carrots. But if I am I have a very late reaction (several days) which happens but is again very rare. I never took any tests to be sure though. But I’ve had so many reactions that I refuse to take more chances ^^’ Also I used to be allergic to milk but grew out of it when I was around 10.

5: happiest memory?

When my friends threw a surprise party for me (which I was even late to!) and gave me an original replica of Xena’s sword! Also when I first met Renee O’Connor... and when I met her again next year along with Hudson Leick and she even recognized me. I may have cried....

6: how often do you use chapstick?

Only when I have an allergic reaction (chapped, itchy and bleeding lips. yes what a lovely image) because it helps sooth them. Though I use only two special brands because they’re the only ones that actually helps. at least so far

7: what subject do you wish you were an expert in?

Ancient History. I LOVE ancient history and mythology but since I can’t focus properly and take in information like most I don’t really know as much of it as I’d like... or more like I know some trivia and tidbits but I can’t go into details about it or discuss it because that part is all blank. though I find it really interesting! 

8: would you travel to another planet?

As long as the journey is proven to be safe then of course!

9: if you could make any job you want, what would it be?

Well I’ve wanted to be everything from writer to actress to director but I would really love to work as a costume maker and/or propmaker. My dream would be working for Weta Workshop

10: your scariest story?

Honestly I don’t have any good scary stories ^^’ 

11: favorite 2018 trend?

uuuuuhm well I don’t really pay attention to trends 

12: scarf or hat?

I would love to say hats but I get the worst hat hair and cats just don’t suit me at all ^^’ So I guess scarf. Though my sister sometimes has to force it on me hahah

13: what was your favorite year in school?

I guess my second year in Lower Secondary school, it was before everything went to hell to be honest, and it was also when I gained my closest friends and when I was still making pretty good grades.

14: preferred weather?

sunny with clouds and a bit of a breeze. 

15: do you remember your dreams?

I remember one dream from when I was like 5 and it’s the only dream I remember vividly. I was hiking up a mountain with my mom and baby brother (who was in a stroller) and we were following this trail that for some reason was at the very very edge of a cliff. and because my brother had to be protected my mom walked with the stroller furthest away from the cliff-side while I had to walk on the very edge. And then suddenly I tripped and fell off the side of the cliff and my mom didn’t even notice I kept screaming for her but she didn’t turn around, just kept walking away. I kept falling for what felt like hours and when I hit the ground my elbow hurt and I woke up having fallen out of my bed.

16: favorite song you’ve recently discovered?

High Hopes by Panic at the Disco turned out to be really catchy and also Wake Me Up cover by Tommee Profitt and Fleurie

17: book/movie that you would never read/watch again?

The Divergent movies, the Twilight movies (though my friends and I have considered doing a marathon while drinking and turning it into a drinking game) and 50 shades of Grey. oh and the goddamn movie adaption of Darren Shan: Vampire Assistant! Fuck that movie. As for books.. I rarely ever finish books I don’t like

18: someone who’s changed your life?

My best friend Kass

19: least favorite breakfast food?

I’m actually not the biggest fan of omelets 

20: why do you hate ____? (your choice) "why do you hate me and keep eating canned spaghetti?"

I don’t hate you! I just unintentionally dishonored you and your entire family line with my questionable taste in food and cooking skills :P Also I haven’t eaten the dreaded canned “spaghetti” since I finally got my oven fixed ;) it’s really cheap though and was a (disgusting) lifesaver :P

21: why do you like ____? (your choice) "why do you like Xena" 

I don’t just like Xena, I love Xena. And there are many reasons as to why. For one thing, it’s an incredibly empowering show that is beautifully written at its best.. and maybe extremely cringy at its worst but lets focus on the good parts. Although both Xena and Hercules really took some EXTREME liberties with history and mythology it’s still got me interested in mythology. 

I got into video editing and Photoshop because of it. I originally studied to become a TV director because I wanted to work on shows like Xena and Legends of the Seeker. When I got into editing videos, it introduced me to many amazing people and friends online and around the world. I also got my best friend hooked on the show very early into our friendship and I believe it is exactly why we became best friends.I traveled to my first and second convention abroad because of Xena, because I wanted to meet some of the women who inspired me so much! Xena to me was the hero I needed during the dark days, and she still is. There’s really nothing like wrapping myself in a warm blanket and put on my favorite episode on a rainy day. The tattoo of the Chakram on my arm is a reminder for me to keep fighting when things get painful. In the end, Xena changed me and it saved me. It’s so campy and fun, beautiful and devastating, empowering and messed up, so really, the question is, how can you not like it. Also it’s really really really gay and it’s basically what made me realize that I really like girls.

thank you again!