#also i love that tori and charlie have talked about this is so funny to me

[altruistic-meme]

i read This Winter and i love him even more

[bairdthereader]

Time to pay homage to the Spring Queen, Tori.

[This is a long one, folks. I have lots of feelings. Sorry, not sorry! TLDR can just look at the gifs for the gist of the story.]

Having read Solitaire, This Winter, and Nick and Charlie in addition to Heartstopper, my thoughts on Tori and how she's portrayed in the show are a bit difficult to organize and express. Since we don't get her backstory in the show (yet), we see her exclusively engaging with Charlie's story; this leaves out a lot of her depth and complexity, or at least leaves it to the viewer to piece together. BUT . . .

The specific ways she goes about protecting Charlie say so much about her.

It's established from their first on-screen interaction that Charlie feels safe with Tori, both to be himself and to confide in her that he's ended his pseudo relationship with Ben, a relationship no one else knows about at this point. Tori automatically assumes the fault was with Ben, which is not only peak awesome older sister behavior, but a cue to Charlie that she knows him well enough to trust that he was not only not the offending party, but that the breakup was a very positive move for him. She's affirming and bolstering Charlie without any platitudes or unsolicited advice, a sign of her care and respect for him, as well as her understanding of him and his needs.

In Solitaire, Tori explains that she rides the bus with Charlie when he's dealing with particularly bad mental health struggles, which puts the scene toward the end of S1E7 in a slightly different perspective. She knows that something is deeply wrong, but also that Charlie isn't ready to talk about it. She keeps an earbud out just in case, but doesn't pressure him in any way, another sign of respect and silent support.

And of course the moment when Charlie is desperately vulnerable, scared, admitting his darkest thoughts to her, when she realizes for the first time (in the show timeline) just how deep the pain goes, she takes it seriously. She knows what it could mean. Though we as viewers haven't seen it yet, Tori knows her own version of this particular darkness and recognizes it in Charlie. She grounds him with firm, safe, physical touch and a truth that only she can give--which makes it the truest kind of truth, a bedrock truth for Charlie to stand on--that he is valuable to her and vital to her life.

After Charlie tells his parents about his relationship with Nick (with fairly negative results, but that's a whole other post), Tori's concern for Charlie is immediate. Not only does she remember how terrible the bullying Charlie experienced was, but she also knows how fragile his newfound happiness really is. Charlie misinterprets her question--whether intentionally or not I think might be up for debate--and assumes that her concern is mainly for Nick, asserting that he can protect Nick. Tori knows that Charlie will need that protection as well, maybe more, but also respects his choice to view the situation in this way. [Side note: respect is like Tori's secret love language; she doesn't give it very willingly.]

"Look after him or you die" seems funny, but Tori is dead serious. Her later accusation that Nick doesn't keep his promises feels harsh at first, and he doesn't really deserve it, but we have to see it for what it is. Tori is trusting Nick with a responsibility that she usually puts on herself, and she doesn't take it lightly; very few people can care for Charlie the way Tori does, and to her, failure to do so is indefensible. Nick's failing her test in this moment, though she's a complete enough person to recognize that it's a momentary lapse and trusts Nick with Charlie later in the story.

And of course there's the infamous Nelson dinner party, where Tori does in reality what we ALL want to do in spirit and knocks David down several pegs. She sees in him exactly the kind of person who bullied Charlie and made his life miserable, and she's not about to let it happen right in front of her. No real commentary here, just a deep appreciation for Tori's sisterly rage and complete disgust with David.

And then there's this:

Oh, season 3 Tori is going to be something to behold. I absolutely cannot wait. All hail the queen.

[everythingsbetterunderthestars]

HEARTSTOPPER S2 SPOILERS BELOW

None of my friends were able to watch season 2 yet and I need to externalise my feelings somewhere so hello osemanverse tumblr

(There will be no specific order to these thoughts and I will probably forget a thousand things I wanted to say but oh well)

THE PARENTS THIS SEASON I AM LOVING THAT WE GET TO SEE MORE OF THEM ESPECIALLY OLIVIA COLMAN AAAAHH and tao’s mom omg their scenes were everything this season

Also Taoelle <333333 finally

TORI TORI TORI TORI TORI TORI TORI

Naomi and felixxxx I love them so much

JAMES !!!!!!! AND ISAAC !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Also did anyone else notice loveless in the background when they talk things through in the library??)

Ive recently become obsessed with Radiohead because of one of my friends so I really loved the moment with little Charlie and Tao

Just so much queer joy it was beautiful

TARA AND DARCY AND STRUGGLING BUT MANAGING TO COMMUNICATE IN THE END ALSO THE BALANCE BETWEEN CRAZY FUNNY WHIMZY AND DARCY’S FAMILY PROBLEMS I AM UNWELL ANDDDD THE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SCENE

Prom was so adorable aaaaaahhh

The outfits ??????!! 🤌🤌🤌🤌

Also I am absolutely gonna listen to this season’s songs on repeat they were AMAZING and it was so satisfying to hear some that I already knew (plus seven is the only Taylor song I like so it felt extra special and I remember Alice saying in an Instagram story that that song was very Tara/Darcy bf’zodjdkksjf) AND BABY QUEEN I ALMOST FAINTED WHEN I SAW HER AT THE PROM

Also I need you all to know how much like Isaac I am about books. (Also I’m so proud of him aaaaahhh my baby)

The teachers. You agree.

The diner scene was so iconic

Obsessed with the Ben apology scene and Charlie’s reaction

Also is that an Imogen/Sahar thing i sense coming?? Or maybe cool female friendship development im not picky that would be awesome too (ngl though im kinda starting to ship them now)

Oh yes Imogen this season aaahh that was a rollercoaster but I’m so proud of her slay queen

Well that’s all I can think of for now :) all in all I loved this season even more than the first one even though I have no idea how that’s possible but yes I will definitely rewatch it and soon

[laylawatermelon]

Heartstopper Full Series Thoughts after each ep 😊

Spoilers below !! 👇🏾

Preface: my queer little heart adores this show and the ace rep in there!

After watching or TLDR: As a pan ace person inject this straight into my being as it's the queer rep we need and also a blessing to my eyes and heart every time.

I loved everything about it. The rest of the stuff down there is just my funny thoughts and a bit of philosophy and film analysis.

Ep 1

Ah yes my pan heart adores this show. Yasmin my heart beats for you endlessly. Tao..... U got it bro 🥲

The i love you scene is the sweetest thing I've ever seen.... I love love 😭😭

I hate crying to this show (hormones don't help 😭😭😭)

Tara and Darcy always love their storylines and complexities. Also their communication skills!

Ep 1 done!

Ep 2

Teehee the imagination scenes....

Ooh the i love yous

And the nick anxiety....

The title card was ominous

The color grading is beautiful though

Ah yes teenager angst

Also the co-parenting on tori???

Aw the little hesitancy from nick i get that babes 🥹

Eeee the teachers (lmao the cliche of teachers dating each other)

That tiny grandma car is insane

Rachel chinouriri!!!!!

Why's Tara upset about great grades ?

Awee nick and his little cousins

Ugh these imagination scenes are killing me

Ooh not the selfie

Ugh the aroace (and charlie and the food 😭)

I love the use of music in this series

Nick that's very specific (she's a psychiatrist she's gonna find out)

Darcy always speaking her mind i love it

😭😭😭Tori

Now you gonna put the straights on my screen 😤 (lmao very jk)

I love Elle's hair (not what I'm supposed to be focused on 🤣🤣)

Oh lawd Isaac

Lmao tori (her: i don't got time to learn them kids names)

I love Isaac's honesty and i just love Isaac

Platonic love for the win !!!

Oh i thought he was watching something savory 😏 but it's the same colors as the diagnosis website 😟

Twas right

Eheh something else

Smt lmaooo it wasn't savory time actually

Ohh the anxiety behind being left behind makes sense with tao

Communication 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

This couple pleases my eyes

I LOVE YOU RAHHHHHH

A gay person like me shouldn't be this happy i feel like im going to burst (rahhhhhh)

🌈🌈🌈

Charlie 😭😭😭

CHARLIE 😭😭😭😭😭

Nick you're probably worrying your aunt

Jeez kit and 16 year old in the same sentence made me giggle a bit (i just realized he's like 2 years younger than me 😭😭😭😭 i feel ancient)

Tara's nails are really pretty

I love his aunt + the message given

Ep 2 done!

Gotta get into the soundtrack as always!

Ep 3

I get it now... This show has the classic teen movie intros that's what makes it so special

Kit/Nick is just massive

Don't think Tara wants to have extra responsibility ?

Yay more queers !!! Always good to see the fam (Elle's crew)

Oooh secret relationship with the teachers ahhhhhhh

Yay more gays!

The coach 😂😂😂

Ugh. Hi. Hi. Aghhhhhh !!!

Ugh homophobia 🙄

Oop thought they were gonna get in trouble with the teachers

Ooooh (this is how to win a time war bigolas iykyk)

Oohh Charlie like mmmm clock it

Ugh the bullying was horrible and it did big damage to his mental health 😭

Ewwww they said i love each other 😊😊😊😊😊

Lmao Tori

His jumper is really nice i want it 🤗

Hooray animals (zoos are ehhhh though)

Is Darcy nonbinary? (I don't think she was in the comic but i might be misremembering)

Oooh Isaac babes this isn't the right time 😔

Oop charlie snapping

Tao and isaac are both immature i love it (like siblings)

Tao is like okaaayyy i see ittt

Lmao sahar and imogen

Coming out scene ! Aw the cute am i gay quiz (i failed every one i took by the way)

Ohh tao caught on 😟

The i love yous are killing me

Lmao i give you the gift of your clothes back 🤣🤣

Ughh he got the cute jumper i love (the pink it calls to me!)

The ILOVEYOU !!! (im sorry I'm obsessed)

I love the communication 💕 I'm also sobbing 😭😭😭

Tori 😭😭😭

Ep 3 done!

They did a really good job with the scene at the end and talking about mental health

Also i could relate to charlie a bit with the control thing and repeating thoughts/ocd intrusive (im good though! It's really mild and barely appears unless stressed or something)

Ep 4 start!

Yeah journaling!

The bi and lesbian unite!

Ugh Charlie 😭😭😭

The trees growing out of the corner is beautiful

Not this song 😭😭😭😭

Nick was so good 😭😭😭😭

Oh lawd boutta crash a car

Awww his friend are so cute

Ugh Tara's nails are iconic

Oooh say CAAAPPP (tain America ) 🎶caaaappp🎶

Is that Billie eilish i hear ?

Is Nick okay ???

Lmao sahar and imogen?????

This party is hilarious

I thought Tara was gonna be the one to help but it's interesting that it's tao

Awwww this is so sweet

Lmao the anger to marvel is hilarious (says Agatha all along actor)

Ocd + repeating thoughts (could relate)

Nick needs therapy too a little😔

Oh they're both journaling

I love the positive and normal rep of mental illness

Lmaoo Tori loves Nick 🤣🤣🤣 he has no idea (now that i think about it he's the only name she remembers)

I love the friendship and platonic love they emphasize

Aweeeee when they see each other is so 😭😭😭😭

Oh Isaac 😭 lmaoo messssyyyyyy

Ooh they darcy ! Shall be referring to them as such

I love the filming format

Yeah lmaooo messy taoooo

The huggggg!!

Love the mental health talks and everything

Christmas 👹 I LOVE CHRISTMAS

My babiessssssss back together again

I love the way that media depicts everyday life and can help people understand situations that may never encounter. Also the set design and lighting in this show are to top tier.

All hail queer works for having beautiful cinematography to display emotions and stuff. (Eg my beautiful man - eternal the movie especially, gameboys and sleep with me -ph short series)

Some suggestions (i should really do my queer works suggestions again im on the hunt for so much of them)

But anyways

Ep 5 lets go!!

Are we getting more Tori?

Lmao the bad tasting turkey

Hmm switch sponsorship goes crazy

Jeez

Is Oliver (former brother) now a cousin or something?

Lmao the gay question

Is that David????

Ugh

Ooop Nick cussing?

Ugh a front row seat to flirting in the group chat 🤣🤣

Sahar and imogen 😁😁😁😁

Ahhh tao and elleeeee

Oh tao and elle 😔

Omg the ignorance

Poor Tori 😭😭

Music is immaculate as always

Ohhhh whole family was there when they kissed (that's how he met them???)

Ohhhh okayyyy charlie and nic Nick hehehehe

The dawgggg

Lmao tao

😭😭😭😭 elle and tao are so 😭😭😭

Communication!!!!!!!

The dawgggg (again!)

Viral Queen elle

Aww Sahara 😔

Not rush (by troye sivan) In the bg show is queer all the way through 🙂‍↕️

Tai and elle the goofy couple that matches each other weird love it

Tao thinking about something else 😏

I love that she has another trans girl to talk to as she gets out

Jesus this guy -

Ahhhh the guy uhhh solitare ????

Tara's style is always amazing

Imogen and sahara !!! Vindication!!!!

Okay taoooooo elleeeee

I believe in love again after that kiss

I understand both Tori and Charlie with the argument they had. I just really feel bad for Tori.

I love the fact they talked about being trans and navigating sexual intimacy and things. It's so great. And that they have more than one platonic friend who's queer like them (elle has a trans girl friend, and Darcy talking to the other trans guy about exploring identity and gender affirming things to do and how it's supposed to be fun)

Ep 5 done!!

Ep 6 let's go!

Awww the rugby ladsss

Oh not cussing nickkkk ????

😔

Ooop okay plenty energy 🤣🤣

Trauma. Mhmm makes sense

This title card ain't looking too good

Elle's so talented

Ooh drummer boyfriend and the jock

Every time they kiss in school i have trauma

Lmao tao and Isaac so immature i love itt

Oh the mirror scene 😔

Lmaoo imogen diss

Nick please help the oblivious imogen

The cake is cute 🤗

Oh it's Michael he's so cute and awkward

I love the energy of all the core three being weird together

Aweeeee imogen and sahar 😞 but it's cute the conclusion they came to

Yeahhh oliviaaaa !! (soundtrack slaps)

I suspected the tara thing with pressure

Lmao he's a clingy drunk

I can't breathe - the tension -

I don't wanna be this person but ik their breath smell like hot garbage

Tori and Michael

Lmao Elle's dad

I don't know how i feel about this radio show

🤣🤣🤣 all of a sudden Nick gets it

Girl wtf are you talking and asking about ???

More thoughts about the whole thing at the bottom summary - i had to take a break cause 😤-

I took like 30 mins 😔

Lol nick getsss ittt

Oh no the body thing lmao mom is like no canoodling of any sense in my house

Oooh i want you that's craaaaazy

Doc said protection pleassee

Its a great message but my mind is like you WILL have confidence to bone your boyfriend and that in itself is beautiful 🙂‍↕️

This show gives me whiplash. Please give me a break. Sad. Sexy. Sad. Sexy. Extra sad. More sad.

I think I forget the ages the character represent and to get that whiplash into how messed up they use kids who just want to be themselves as talking points and not actually seeing them as people.

It brings up a really good point of how differences in queerness (or anything labeled as other) is no longer about individuals who exist but rather an idea to be imposed in them. But no more philosophy! Time for

Ep 7! Yay

Kit has the 'doe eyes in love' on lock beautiful performance

Nick ain't thinking bout nothing but that bodayyyy 🤣🤣🤣

Also Tara looks so at peace with dance

I love Tara and Nick's relationship 🤗

The journaling agenda

Omgggggg

Ooh Nick okayyyyy

Okay tao with the wisdom ew to the cucumber

Oh no now she's thinking about the politics

Let people liveeee pleasee

Nick said i been waiting on this !!!

Lmao David the panic Nick had

The dogs 🥰

Darcyyyyyy that's crazy

I live that they're displaying queer sex, normalizing it and not shying away from it being a normal and not fetishizing it (esp cause they're young and teens in shows usually are unfortunately overly sexualized or it's not shown to be intimate/delicate but rather more... Idk)

The other trans characters supporting Elle because they get it 😭

Nick has shalala playing in his head all the time looking at Charlie

I sense neurodivergence in Micheal (lowkey Tori as well but streets seem conflicted in the verdict for her ...)

Lmaoo the outrage in at school from Nick

Nick asks lesbian about gay sex perfect

I'm gonna cry Tara and Darcy, and all the coming out scene in this show (healing my heart one ep at a time 😭😭) one day it'll be me or I'll just pop out in rainbow with my queer af shows + books and no shame 🤷🏾‍♀️

Charlie and his teen angst

I can kind of understand his mom but honestly if someone wants to do something they will find a way to do it (+she's lucky he even tells her some people may just be sneaky about it)

Tao and elle are relationship goals 😭😭😭😭

Oh no Nick's pressure/anxiety

I love communication in this show 💕

Ooop not the sitting okkaayy charlieeee

Lmao to the mom

Nick said i been waiting for this !!

Oopp jessuese ! Hands handsssss

To mum: 🤷🏾‍♀️ he warned you at least you know it

Twas beautiful 🥹

Now the final episode

Lets gooooo!

Ep 8

Haha why are we like this

Nick said baby i don't careeee let's practice rn 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oop Nick said I'm looking it up

Oh Nick please talk to him about it

Lmao he dropped him off like here's your deflowered son back

Tori is laughing inside

Jeez i can't imagine coming back after that and then talking to your mum

I get where his mom's coming from

Flowerovloveeee!!!! Omg all my favorite artists are here

Ask me my music taste and it's just heartstopper soundtrack

Charlie and Nick are a mess

I love the lgbt squad in all their sections

Imogen omg is this a coming out scene ?? Comp het???? Another lesbian 😭😭😭 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Tara ain't feeling it

Nick is so embarrassed and them buying stuff i love it

The friendships are amazing in this show! I some think we see that enough displayed in teen/young adult shows

Awee the queer guide and his rugby boyfriend

The maturity in Charlie now 😭😭my baby

I love that Nick has his group

Tori is so happy

Ughhh the set design !!!!!

Lmao Michael is so cute

He's standing so awkwardly i love it

The siblings are so sweet (we need more of this in TV shows!!)

The song is so cute!

Lmao Nick dissing imogen

Nick needs to see he'll be okay without him

Nick please you're in public

The fair scene is so cute

Nick ain't thinking with his noggin at all for most the show🤣🤣🤣

They're gonna make me explode into a billion pieces of sadness and queer joy 😭😭

Ugh intimacy

End of ep 8???

What happened? It's just done 😟

Okay season 4 please love you Alice will be back with a dissertation or something. ✌🏾

[cavetownsavedollie]

I am going to write a whole thing about the Osemanverse. Read if you dare.

I was born for this is perfect because it shows how much shipping celebrities is NOT OK. the jowan fanfics are showing how terrible this is. Celebrities are people too. Human beings. They have emotions, they have needs, they have their own thoughts. They know what we talk about in the fandoms.

And for Angel's part. I love the Osemanverse just like she loves the Ark. It's crazy. An Osemanverse book describing my love for the Osemanverse. But how she thinks her friends are tired of her because she talks about it all the time. I do the same. And I also have an online bestie.

For Solitaire. I cannot express the emotions this book made me feel. I can relate to both Tori and michael. I am currently waiting 4 weeks for the audiobook to be available on my schools library website. I want to cry my eyes out for these characters again.

And Heartstopper my lovely. Pure perfection on every panel. The details, the story, the dialogue, the characters. Everything. In volume 1 Charlie tries to recover from bullying, not understanding that the trauma isn't going away. And Nick realizes he likes boys, but still has feelings for girls sometimes. He explores bisexuality and finds out he is in love.

Volume 4 is my favorite because I cry my eyes out every single time. If my lovely Charles Francis Spring experiences any discomfort I am in tears. Charlie finds out so much in volume 4 and Nick is trying to help but he doesn't understand that "love can't cure a mental illness".

And last but CERTAINLY NOT LEAST! Radio Silence!!! (My fav) so let's start with Aled. Aled Last is a quiet boy. He doesn't have many friends. He is very smart. He is cool, he is funny, he is more than he thinks he is. He just has an asshole mother. (Sorry for the language but you know it's true). I cannot emphasize the COOL part enough. Aled is the coolest character ever. This boy created a famous podcast and was able to keep it a secret (for a while but then... Yk).

And for Frances. She is so passionate about the things she loves. Universe City is her LIFE. Fanart, fanfics, and a part of every Tumblr tag. Look at my username for God's sake. (I know I spelled it wrong but I only ever listened to the audiobook). Frances is also so smart. I am so angry that this amazing girl didn't get into her university! I was so mad.

Here is a list of characters that can go f*ck themselves:

Carol Last.

Ben Hope(less)

Harry Greene.

Whoever declined Francis's college application.

Lucan Ryan.

David Nelson.

Feel free to add to this list.

(I HAVE NOT FINISHED LOVELESS YET!!)

[artistic-intrxvert]

could you do Heartstopper hcs for being Tori and Charlie with younger 11 year old stoic! monotone! asocial! trans sister! reader?

Tori and Charlie Spring with a stoic, monotone, asocial 11 year old transfem sister (PLATONIC)

Tori

Tori is definitely closer to you than Charlie for a couple of different reasons

One being that Charlie is usually hanging out with Nick or is out with friends

Tori spends a lot of time at home and so you typically get to hang out with her and Oliver

If you don’t feel like hanging out with her, she respects it. Doesn’t mean she won’t try to sneak up on you if you’re doing something in your room (ie listening to music, playing video games, drawing, whatever it is you like to do when you’re by yourself)

She is similar to you in a way where she also prefers to be alone at times

But the very few times that you hang out, she usually just asks how school is going and if anyone is giving you crap at all (this could be from your parents, in which case she usually scoffs and mutters a few swear words)

She did also monotone and so if you’re saying something in a way where you’re trying he lighthearted or funny and nobody else gets it, she does

It’s like a shared, unspoken bond between you two; nobody understands your tone so you end up making an inside joke about it

She 100% has given you old clothes of hers that is too small for her but the right size for you

Always corrects people on your pronouns and makes sure nobody ever really makes you feel too uncomfortable in social situations

Charlie

Charlie rarely gets to hang out since he’s a very social person and tends to hang out with his friends

But when he does, he loves to talk to you

You two play Mario kart together usually in silence (occasionally interrupted by him shouting in accomplishment when he wins every single race…Yeah you punch him in the arm sometimes and he decides to pretend it hurt when it really doesn’t)

Definitely encourages taking your time coming out at school if you haven’t or if you’re hesitant

He knows what it’s like when coming out backfires, and he’d hate for what happened to him to happen to you

If his friends are ever over and you have to hang out with them (your parents went out, they didn’t want you to be by yourself, etc.) then they’d all be happy to see you

His friends love you a lot and you especially get along with Elle

Charlie usually asks Elle for tips on how to transfer from Truham to Higgs so that when you put go to that grade level, you’ll be able to be in a school you’re comfortable in

Overall, they’re very supportive and respectful of you unsocial natures and generally are there for you 100% of the way

-

Thank you for your request and I hope I got the request correct! I couldn’t see much of a prompt other than the traits of the reader so if I missed something or you want me to do another part to this with a scenario, go ahead and shoot me an ask :)

Kai/Blake/Vert

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs Heartstopper S1

I will not lie to you have put off watching this show for so long because I thought it might hurt my feelings but I think I'm finally ready to put myself through it

I didn't realize we'd be starting this show with Charlie already in a clandestine relationship. Alright, diving right in

Call me crazy, but I think this guy who is causing Charlie's brain to create gentle cartoon leaves might be the guy he falls in love with:

"Still don't tell anyone about this." Heartwarming words from Secondary Love Interest Ben

"Why are you talking to me? I don't even know who you are." Ben, love, I think you're overcorrecting

Tao saying "Bro Dude Friends" in an American accent tickles me

God I remember not being allowed to have a phone at even at lunch in school. Dark Times

"Have you talked to your friends about it? "They wouldn't get it." HAHAHA the one realistic teacher who deflects dating questions back to the teens

Immediately I like Tori. "Was he a knob?" is exactly the right question to ask

Charlie's imagined romantic cutaways are very fun

"I don't just fall for any guy who's nice to me," said Charlie, as if he had not immediately fallen for Nick on the basis of them just saying hi to each other and having one conversation about ink stains

Genuinely I hope this rugby endeavour ends with Charlie making a bunch of friends and discovering a love of sport

Update from 1 montage later: I think it has!

Also I am immediately invested in Tao and Elle's relationship. They miss each other so much, it's very sweet

This episode took a really harsh and unexpected turn with Ben's reappearance. Bring back the rugby montage

"It was normal," said Nick, in a very convincing statement that no parent would find troubling

Nick said: Move over Charlie, I can also have a cartoonish dream sequence. Welcome to My Instagram-Induced Homophobia Fever Dream

Immediately I'm relating to Nick. I too get stressed out by watching other people type and have to put away my phone. Also it is becoming clearer and clearer that he's going to be the one who is slower to come to terms with his own feelings

"Thank you for being my supportive straight friend." HAHAH bold of Charlie to assume. But I get that it opens the door to that conversation

"You know, when I was a teenager and had a crush on a straight boy, I just repressed it and suffered." Mr. Gay Teacher speaking to the real Teenage Experience LMAO

I love Elle making friends at her new school 💗 Not to stereotype but I do think girls are more welcoming as a social group

Nick has touched Charlie's hair one too many times today to be convincingly straight hahahah

"Nick likes a girl," said Tao confidently, as if the 'girl' Nick's friends had been teasing him for texting was not Charlie

"You've befriended the school lesbians." GOOD FOR ELLE

Nick thinking about holding Charlie's hand but stopping himself. Sweet boy

"I don't think he's straight," said Tori, after witnessing one of the gayest goodbyes I've ever seen

Nick staring at his team photo like he can rugby away gay thoughts

HAHAHAH doing the "Am I gay" quiz and getting 62%. I am so Nick-coded. He is so me. Someone stop these Repressed Queer Blond British Boys from being so relatable hahaha

"We don't want to make a big announcement or anything... just maybe not hide so much." I'm not sure which part of this interaction I liked the most, 1) Nick and Tara immediately establishing they weren't into each other 2) Tara telling Nick she is a lesbian, modelling a chill coming out and 3) Tara immediately giving Nick a sly look as soon as he mentions His Best Friend Charlie

Both cold and cool for Nick to tell Harry off for being homophobic at his own birthday party

Tao making Elle promise nothing will affect their friendship because he is clearly in love with her already LOL

Nick being visibly comforted by seeing happy queer people around him. Once again, relatable:

Very funny of the show to only NOW warn me of strobing effects, which have been bothering me for quite some minutes as I tried to get a screenshot of that scene LOL

"I'm dying." "It's cause you're old." To friends literally months older than you is honestly one of my favourite jokes

Nick said: The quiz was right! I AM at least 62% gay

Charlie immediately realizing he's got himself into another situationship with a guy who is definitely not ready to come out

"It's not that I didn't want to [whispers] kiss you.. I was just so confused. I've just been so, so confused." The immediate juxtaposition between Ben, who did not give a damn about Charlie's feelings through his sexuality crisis, and Nick, who not only apologized right away, but also is actively trying to explain how he's feeling to Charlie 🥺💘

Charlie is also representing a real group of people who are The Only Out Kid At School Whom All Other People Figuring Out That They're Some Type of Gay May Inevitably Direct Their Feelings

"A lot of gay people are good at sports, Charlie," said the Rugby Coach, slightly offended on behalf of all gay athletes

LMAO @ IMOGEN'S "I'm an ally" scene, I've seen it before

Also she really does give me second-hand embarrassment. Read the room girl!!!

Tao is so hostile to Nick undeservedly ghggghhgh Nick wasn't the one who threw the rugby ball but he did get pelted with it by Tao after

LMAO @ Darcy immediately clocking Nick and Charlie as a couple

"Why are the other team literal adult men?" Ah, a classic sports dilemma

"You've got some mud on your face though," said Nick, like the rest of both of them including his own face was not also covered in mud

HAHAHAHA Isaac also immediately clocking that they are sitting way too close and gazing too much to be just homies

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NICKKKKKKKKKK YOU ARE FALLING INTO THE SAME BEN TRAP. BE BETTER! YOU ARE SEEING SOMEONE!!!!!!!!

I know he's just trying to be a good friend to Charlie and I don't know if it's Tao's hair and face but he's reminding me of someone I know (who had a lot of emotional issues) and it's giving me a bit of the heebie jeebies hahahah

"Do you like this girl?" "Well, um, her dog died." HAHAH NICK, this poor people-pleasing boy

"Tao, no, it's his birthday," Tao is a rough mix of incredibly loyal, moderately possessive of his friends and lacking in any social graces whatsoever

Also if Tao understood what was going on, he'd be TWICE as mad. It's growing more deserved by the minute

"I was going to say I'd send him a strongly-worded DM, but murder's fine too." Hahahahah Tao

I've never seen a more uncomfortable exchange of the words, "You're a good friend." LOL:

Even if this whole Imogen thing is still pretty messy, I give a lot of credit to Nick for telling Charlie about it and explaining the context as well as clarifying he was going to put an end to it before it happened

"I wish I'd met you when I was younger," said Nick, like 16 isn't still pretty young

"I really like you." "You like me?" "Yes, wasn't that obvious?" HAHAHAHA they're so silly, I love them ❤️

I love that Charlie and Nick are so into each other they can't help but have a bit of PDA everywhere they go

Elle said: You're not the only ones capable of cutesy animations for the friend you're secretly in love with, Charlie and Nick

Do you think Isaac's like, 'Damn, this is an above average amount of romantic tension for a bowling outing'

"Mamma Mia." "We've seen that four times this year already." Nick continues to be extremely me-coded, including looking up the best LGBT movies nghghgnjg

I said this MOMENTS before he googled being bisexual. INCREDIBLE

"Do you wanna kiss? Would that help?" [Sarcastically] "Wow." "Just a suggestion." Charlie said: Sorry about your sexuality crisis, my love language is giving u a leetle kees on the lips

AWWWWWWWWWW I loooooove Nick finally having someone to talk through his sexuality feelings with outside of his boyfriend

"Kissing you is actually one of the things that made me realize I don't like kissing guys." "Okay, happy to help?" Nick 💖

Personally I LOVE the triple date and Meddling Gays Groupchat

Charlie is so blindingly smiley every time Nick acknowledges to someone that they're together it is the sweetest:

In fairness to Tao being the last to know, he is 1) The only one who actively dislikes Nick and 2) The only cishet person at the table

Must be rough for Tara to go from everyone only ever talking about how fit she is to all the crap of people thinking they're gonna catch lesbianism

It would've been VERY funny if they all got locked in the closet

"They all probably think I'm this like, gay nerd." "Well, you kind of are a gay nerd." Nick said: You're MY gay nerd, Charlie

"Oi, just look at him behind him. Like a little girl." Harry's got so many issues. He's literally in the same proximity to Ben, what's his problem?

"Quick question. What's it like being gay?" Not that EVERY homophobic character is secretly gay, but it does seem more and more like Harry is 🤨

"I'm not even gay. I just felt really sorry for you." Since ep 1, I have strongly been suspecting that Ben will be the one to out Nick and Charlie and I feel it even more strongly now that he has eyewitnessed their handholding

Also it does NOT bode well that this ep is called Bully

"[Charlie] has a friend who won't leave me alone," said Harry, as if he has not been the one pelting Tao and calling him names to deal with what is probably a little gay crush repressed deep under thirteen layers of stupid and mean

"None of us are being homophobic." I feel like people are now growing up in this weird era where people ARE still homophobic but unwilling to admit it because it's less acceptable. It's fucked up to have someone do something bigoted to you and say it's not. At least when someone's horrible upfront you are facing an enemy that's showing its face

I don't blame Nick for finally losing his cool. Also wild of Harry to pick a fight with someone who is obviously bigger than him

"Some of the rugby boys are nice." "Even they just... stood there." There comes a certain point where being able to associate yourself with bigoted people must mean that you are at best indifferent to the people they harm

"I think I know why he hasn't [told me]. He thinks I'll accidentally say something stupid and out Nick to all of Nick's mates. And obviously he cares more about Nick's feelings than he does about mine." SEVERAL THINGS, TAO. 1) IT IS OBVIOUS why he hasn't told you, it's because you have shown numerous times you don't like Nick. 2) Why the hell is OUTING THEM even on your list? 3) In a situation where you COULD accidentally out Nick, his feelings are OBJECTIVELY more important than yours! And 4) This possessiveness towards your friends is part of the problem!!!

"This is all your fault," said Tao, as if Charlie had forced him to fight with Harry instead of literally intervening upon it

I get that Tao's a teen and he's hurt Charlie's priorities are different and he's short-sighted but GOD take some personal responsibility

"He said he doesn't wanna talk to you." If Charlie ends up being the only one to apologize for this I'm gonna be SO mad

All other things aside, I'm glad Tao and Nick are bonding

I love how consistently useful it is that Charlie can run fast

"You don't get to make me feel like crap anymore just because you hate yourself." YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CHARLIE

DOUBLE APOLOGY, AS WAS WARRANTED FOR THESE TWO:

The butterflies appearing on Tao's side so we know the feeling is mutual ahhhhhhhhhh

If Nick is leaving the rugby match to kiss his boyfriend, that is the FUNNIEST possible thing he could do, surely it could wait til after the match rather than mid-mandatory-sports day

The update is that he was desperate for a conversation, which seems more reasonable LMAO

"My life is way better because I met you." NIIIIICK 😭❤️

Charlie is really coming into his own today. The most nonconfrontational boy crams three different emotional confrontations into one sports day

Bold move to make out in the school corridor mid-mandatory-sports day. In general, interesting how often people are macking around this school. But I understand, it was a very romantic conversation:

"I love liking you," said Nick, like that wasn't one of the most romantic things I've ever heard

"Does this mean we're boyfriends?" "Oh, yes. Was that not already established the last like, ten times we made out?" HAHAHA their DTR talks kill me a little

"Thank you for telling me. I'm so sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn't." I was nervous for Nick for a moment, but I'm so glad for him now

"It's called bisexuality, if you've heard of that." LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO not Nick genzsplaining bisexuality to Mama Nelson aka Olivia Colman, of The Favourite fame

What a sweet and charming show

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Heartstopper season 2 play-by-play analysis

This one is going to be looooong, because I delve deep into THAT scene (you know which one). The Paris Squad is back to reality, and for some it’s harsher than others, it’s facing some harsh truths and some changes and some situations that they’re not ready for… There are some very cathartic moments, and some not

Off we go!

EPISODE 7 - SORRY

- Love Tara’s super colorful, kind of 70s vibe bedroom decor, especially that bedspread.

- Tara’s mum’s exasperated face clearly saying “you really expect me to believe that you’ve been asleep in separate beds this entire time?”

- Nick’s smile fading as soon as he notices Charlie’s plate in the photo. And Charlie’s smile fading when Ben’s message comes through. Excuse me, Charlie, why haven’t you blocked him? Unless you did, and now he’s created a new account…? (Didn’t it use to say Ben Hope, and now it says ben_h_999?)

- Even better than Tara’s colorful room is Elle’s super artsy maximalist bedroom. Need to analyze every single element in it. I particularly love her bed, the wall color, that line of hanging leaves, and the flat metal solar system.

A little sad that we didn’t get to see the moment which inspired Elle to finish her art piece. Did she get over her artistic block before the terrible date with Tao? It would have been interesting to understand that, despite her new friendship with Naomi and Felix, she still found inspiration in her old friends.

- I love that Tao’s mum is not so traditional that she would object to her son dating a non-Asian, Black trans girl, but traditional enough that she’s spreading the news to all the aunties, like they’ve all been waiting for this, like they got together all the time and talked about when is Tao going to get his head in the game and get together with Elle??? “We’ve all been waiting for this day! The perfect girl for my perfect boy!” Also love that Tao’s dance moves are still as histrionic as ever.

- Sometimes I’m Tori, but when it comes to traveling, I’m definitely Charlie. But I’m definitely Tori when it comes to worrying about who’s that texting my little brother so insistently, making Charlie look sour.

- Both Tao and Elle changing their minds about what they were going to text, but in Tao’s case it’s because he didn’t want to be a downer, and in Elle’s case it’s because she hasn’t made up her mind because of Tao.

- I wonder why the stink smoke/aura cartoon around Darcy’s house is purple, when purple is supposed to be the color of queer pride… and there’s none of that in Darcy’s house.

- Isaac not even laughing off the funny comments of “ooh, they’re gonna kiss”. I think it’s interesting that the whole show is about not assuming people’s sexuality or gender identity just based on speculation or how they look or act or whatever, but it also shows that even queer people make that mistake. James assumed that Isaac was gay, and all of Isaac’s friends seem to be under the same impression, or at least think that he’s something… but nobody assumes he might be asexual. I know I talk enough about thinking that this person or that person is good-looking or beautiful or hot, that people assume that I’m talking about attraction. And maybe if your friend group is composed of couples, and mostly same-sex couples, people will assume “this one hasn’t found a mate yet, but they will”, because you’re likely to, just like the rest of them…?

- Ben’s intensity and guilt-tripping is just more proof that it’s about him, about what he wants, and not about what Charlie might want.

- Nick asking Charlie hesitantly if he wants to be his prom date, and Charlie being shocked, AS IF THEY WEREN’T ALREADY BOYFRIENDS AND CRAZY ABOUT EACH OTHER. Children, get a grip.

- Everyone pooling their money so that Darcy can buy the suit… my heart…

- Isaac talking to James really filled all the little holes and crevices in my heart, until James says “there’s nothing wrong with you… you probably just haven’t found the right person yet,” because of course he doesn’t get it either. Most people probably don’t. So that’s what we’re told our entire lives. It’s like we think we will, but it just doesn’t work that way…but nobody tells us that, so we keep looking and waiting and feeling disappointed and wondering if we’re broken.

- But Isaac shouting and ranting at his friends was sooooo cathartic‼ Sorry guys, but mind your own business!

- Elle’s exhibition outfit is so lovely‼ But… the light turning to a sickly green on Tao as he realizes that Elle has been accepted and she’s moving away and her life is changing and she has new friends and…

- Love that the light changes to red when Isaac is listening to the artist talk about being aroace… because being asexual is just as valid as any other sexuality about love. And the comic leaves beginning to flutter around him, because he’s beginning to understand, that maybe that’s him… “Crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out…”

- Elle’s style is very nice, you can definitely see that she’s a fan of Renoir, of these still scenes that captures action and movement, albeit a subdued action, like a candid photo. I love that we get to see the art classroom tree again, even if only in painting, we only got a glimpse of that room this season, it is sadly missed…

- “Please don’t base your decisions on how I feel.” That is inevitable, but it’s good that you’re saying it. A lot of growth from Tao during the course of the season, well done.

- Ben looks like he hasn’t slept in days, and he literally traveled all the way to Lambert School (which, as Tao repeatedly has stated, is sooo far away), because he saw Elle’s post and he knew that Charlie would be there, and he’s still… hopeful? (Pun not intended). Charlie, what is this magic that you cast on boys that even the shittiest person in the world is torn up about you???

- By the way, yet more green in Ben’s jacket, because green is the color of hope. He’s wearing his heart on his sleeve for once. He looks tired and a bit disheveled, with dark circles under his eyes, like he hasn’t slept properly, and he looks desperate.

- THIS WHOLE SCENE. Man… this whole scene. Joe Locke and Sebastian Bash fucking hit it out of the ballpark. Let me just…

- “If you really hate me after this, you’ll never see me again”. Here’s the thing: Ben’s whole rant is still not an apology, he’s still not acknowledging the things he did to Charlie, especially not the awful assault, and excusing himself behind being messed up and the fear of not being accepted by his parents (it’s a valid fear, but it doesn’t validate his actions). The fact that he at least acknowledges that he was a shit person and that he admits that he really liked Charlie whilst genuinely smiling makes me think that he’s not completely beyond hope (again, pun not intended), BUUUUUUUT (and this is something the girlies out there need to understand, I’ve been seeing a lot of unfortunate comments complaining that Ben is being overly demonized, and whether that means that he should suffer forever and not have any chance at redemption…) if he really wants to redeem himself, if he really wants to be a better person and make up for the pain and trauma, then he’ll actually do the work, he’ll actually get help, and he’ll work from the ground up, and he’ll apologize to Imogen too, and he’ll stop discharging all his self-hatred onto other more vulnerable people, and downplaying their feelings and hurt. He really hasn’t grasped the magnitude of the hurt that he caused Charlie, and he’s not going to get anywhere until he does. So I’m glad that Charlie tells him, and maybe this time the information was actually absorbed. (I know in the comic this speech was actually Charlie’s response to Harry apologizing for being a homophobic bully, and as much as that was satisfying, the dry “NO” before shutting the door in his face was even more satisfying. Harry’s behavior did kind of deserve that whole speech, but Ben’s absolutely deserved it more, plus everything else that Alice added, because Charlie didn’t need that closure in the comic, and maybe comic Ben didn’t need it or want it either, or maybe he did, but TV show Ben ABSOLUTELY needed to hear everything that Charlie told him, so that he could finally get it in his head). “You don’t get to ambush me into forgiving you…”

- For a moment, as Ben is explaining that his parents would never accept him, Charlie looks a bit… sad… almost sympathetic. Yes, it’s terrible to know that Ben is not that lucky in that aspect as he is, or as Nick is, etc. But then you have someone like Darcy, who much like Ben, knows that her parents would never accept her. But Darcy would never have done to Tara what Ben did to Charlie…

- And it made me realize, back in season 1 episodes 1 and 2, when Charlie recounts how he met Ben, how they started out, there is no electricity, no heartstopper moment, even before Charlie first met Nick... at no point (that we can see, at least) Charlie ever felt the flutter and excitement that he experienced when he first saw Nick, when he was near him, when their hands touched for the first time, when they were about to kiss for the first time. It was like, deep down, he knew it meant nothing, because of the secrecy, because of how Ben treated him the rest of the time, how the "magic" was zapped as soon as Ben said something like "don't tell anyone about this" and wiped his mouth and just walked out without another word...

- Heartstopper does an excellent job of showing and talking about the importance of consent and agency and communication in healthy relationships, and every instance of how bad it was between Charlie and Ben is comparable to how great it is between Charlie and Nick. Whilst Ben didn’t ask before kissing Charlie the first time, Charlie actually asked Nick before they kissed, because he would never do to Nick what Ben did to him (and they do this in multiple occasions, vocally asking each other, like at the arcade, and at the park, and in that empty classroom), and Charlie even apologized because he still worried that he might have manipulated Nick into kissing him, possibly have taken away his agency; Nick didn’t ignore Charlie at school even when he was still closeted, whilst Ben acted like Charlie even randomly saying hi to him was a huge offense; Nick constantly talked with Charlie about figuring out his sexuality and possibly coming out once he did, whilst Ben just cuttingly said that he was “figuring stuff out” but not wanting to talk about it with Charlie, the only person he knew who might have understood; and whilst Ben was suddenly kissing a girl outside the school gate without telling Charlie anything about it, Nick immediately told Charlie that he panicked and accepted a date with Imogen, even when he had no plan of going, and how bad he felt about it and that he was going to fix it. Even Nick’s behavior toward Imogen is comparable to Ben’s, that he knew that Imogen liked him but tried to find the nicest, most gentle way of turning her down and then making sure they could stay friends afterwards, whilst Ben used her for popularity and just to keep up appearances whilst still pining over Charlie, and thus treating her horribly and ignoring her, and not even being discreet at all and openly ogling Charlie in front of her… The point is, even if Ben can’t come out to his parents because he’s afraid of being rejected, and even if he’s afraid of being out at school as well, being a shit person was still a choice he made. He took advantage of Charlie’s crush on him to treat him however he pleased, kissing him in dark classrooms, to fulfill his own wants, but being mean and disdainful in public, and knowing that Charlie would put up with it because Charlie had been bullied horribly and this was the first sliver of “affection” he received after being outed, and he couldn’t believe that this cute popular boy wanted to kiss him and he simply didn’t know he could have better (thankfully he knows that now). And now that the damage is done Ben realizes that he actually really, genuinely liked Charlie this whole time and wants to be forgiven just because he’s come to his senses?

- This is why Charlie’s response is the most fucking satisfying thing ever. He tells Ben very plainly the damage that he caused, but that he’s not allowing it anymore. There’s a difference between apologizing and asking for forgiveness: when you apologize, you’re acknowledging that you did something wrong and that you’re sorry and that you’ll do your best to learn from your mistakes, but also acknowledge that the other person doesn’t have to forgive you, whilst to ask for forgiveness does not necessarily mean that the person has realized the wrongdoing or that the wrongdoing won’t happen again, but instead just places the burden of basically putting the wrongdoing behind on the other person. Ben didn’t properly apologized as he said he would, instead placing the blame on the fact that outside factors have made him a messed up person (his parents, pressumably), and basically tacitly asked Charlie to see the good in him, to give him another chance. But Charlie doesn’t have to give it to him, he doesn’t deserve it. No Ben, if you really want to redeem yourself, if you really want “something good”, you’re going to have to work on yourself, work for it, and earn it. And leave Charlie alone, he doesn’t have to put up with you anymore. At least Charlie won’t have to see him anymore. Assault and abuse victims shouldn’t have to see their assaulters/abusers all the time, like a constant fucking reminder of a horrible event in their lives that they’re trying to put behind them.

- And you can see it in Ben’s face, the little flash of anger as his eye sort of twitches, and his nostrils flare a little, and his jaw clenches, because as much as he claims to like Charlie, he still probably likes or needs to be in control of him, and he’s realizing he really has no control over Charlie anymore, Charlie is not saying what he expected him to say or doing what he hoped he would do, but is instead telling him some very harsh truths, and he’s just going to have to deal with it.

- And now that he’s heard Charlie’s piece, now that he really knows what he’s done, Ben has a chance to start working on himself, starting by finding community, the beautiful rainbow wave inviting him in, to come and see for himself that he doesn’t have to be alone, that he doesn’t have to hate himself or be afraid or hurt anyone else anymore, that he can possibly have a fresh start… and he backs off and walks away… which is hard to see… as much as we hate Ben Hope, you wish he’d stop being a shit person, we don’t need more shit people in this world, but… things can’t be perfect, even on a show like Heartstopper… so Ben hasn’t started his journey toward redemption… yet. But hopefully he will eventually (again, pun not intended). We just won’t see it.

- (I wonder if this means that we’re definitely not getting that part of the story that converges between Solitaire, Alice Oseman’s first novel, and the comic if/when the storylines meet. As in, if the comic gets that far, are we still not getting that part of the story in the show? No more Ben ever, no Ben dating Tori’s friend Becky, no nasty encounter in the lockers?)

- I just realized that Nick and Charlie get back from Lambert and directly go to Nick’s house for the Nelson-Spring dinner. Charlie’s so chill, even after confronting Ben earlier, bantering and jokingly saying “mate”.

- Seriously, David is such a bully, and yet obviously still yearning for his father’s attention and affection… Meanwhile, you can tell that Sarah doesn’t really want to hang out with her ex, but she puts up with it because it’s important to her boys. And she’s wearing green too. Hope for this evening to go well…

- Again, Sarah reaffirms to Nick that he doesn’t owe it to his dad to come out to him, and I love that. Nick knows that but he doesn’t want to do it for his dad, he wants to do it for himself. It’s one less person to tell, but also being able to tell them in his own terms. Which his asshole brother nearly ruined completely.

- Tori monitoring the whole situation. Love you, Tori. And Sarah really struggling not to roll her eyes when Stephane says that rugby is a very attractive sport to women. Guessing that it didn’t work on her, or maybe it did and now she regrets it…?

- Stephane really being so oblivious as to why, during one of his very sporadic visits, Nick's "friend" and his whole family are invited to dinner...

- Jenny Walser really nailed Tori’s death grip on David. Love you, Tori. And David looking a bit intimidated...? Bet he wasn't expecting that...

- This scene is so well done, the build up to it, Nick’s spiel, Stephane looking around and realizing “oh I really was the only one who didn’t know”, and Sarah smiling when Nick says he likes who he is and his life, and her arguing with David and Stephane, and everyone looking tense. Everyone’s so good at every instant, even in the most subtle reactions.

- Sarah basically saying “yeah, I don’t understand why your father doesn’t care about you, he has no idea what he’s missing”, and then hugs him as if to reassure him that she does care about him and loves him. Olivia Colman really is the perfect Sarah.

- Nick owning his dad with that goodbye. And Stephane not remembering where David goes to uni… David also needed to hear that maybe his dad is not as great as he hoped, and realizing that he really needs to do better.

- Again, Jenny Walser is the perfect Tori. She’s equal parts uninterested and protective. Do not mess with her or anyone she cares about, David, you pathetic little man.

- Sarah making a point of assuring Jane that Nick really cares for Charlie, because she probably can tell that Jane is not entirely fond of Nick. (I’m thinking Nick probably told her about Charlie being grounded for spending too much time with him, and the way that Charlie’s mum is with him, probably). And I love Tori telling Nick in the background “your brother’s a prick” and I need to know what she said or what he responded because they both smiled at each other conspiratorially. Probably something along the lines of “I kicked his phone for good measure”, “well done, he deserved that”).

- Nick has been mostly focused on his predicament about whether coming out to his dad or not, and suddenly realizes that Charlie’s eating disorder is still manifesting…

- Darcy’s home situation is very similar to Aled and Carys Last's in Radio Silence. Even though Isaac is the replacement of Aled in the series, so far we only see the ace spec aspect of Aled reflected on Isaac (I mean, his mum seemed nice in that school scene, but what do we know), whilst we know from the comic that Darcy’s home life is difficult, but we don’t get much detail, and I think Alice used the show as an opportunity to give Darcy the Aled’s mother storyline from Radio Silence, to show us an awful reality of many queer teens, those that aren’t lucky like Nick or Charlie or Tara or Elle or even Tao… a lot of teens don’t have the support they wish they did at home, the unconditional love that a parent is supposed to have for their children, queer or not. And it’s not easy to escape that. Either you find safe haven in parts of that “home”, or you put up with it, or you get the hell away from them, but as a minor, how do you get away and make it in the world? (I sincerely wish there was a way to prevent people from becoming parents unless they were actually willing to accept their children no matter what. You can’t choose what your children will be, and you can’t force them to become what you want them to be, so just… don’t fucking have children if all you’re going to do is make their lives miserable.)

- So Darcy chooses to get away from that situation, at least temporarily, but… once she’s out of the house, she realizes that she doesn’t know what to do now. Where is she supposed to go? She puts up this front of a girl who’s very confident in her sexuality, whilst she’s not even out to her mother who clearly would not take it well… so she’s full of shame, and she doesn’t call anyone or tell anyone where she’s going, because that would mean having to explain. And now I'm devastated...

This episode is brought to you by the ACEUPHORIA™.

[stupidphototricks]

I'm jealous of kids today being able to grow up with the amazing YA books being written now ("now" for me being within the past 15 years or so), but I still read them even though I'm not Young. Here are a few of my favorite YA authors and books, in no particular order:

Patrick Ness, The Rest of Us Just Live Here TW: mental illness, suicidal thoughts I adore that there's a whole epic fantasy battle thing that we see pieces of in the foreground, but the book focuses on the characters in the background who are dealing with their own stuff.

Alice Oseman, Radio Silence and Solitaire TW: suicidal thoughts, emotionally abusive parent (RS), self-harm (S), eating disorder (S) You might recognize Alice Oseman as the author of the Heartstopper comic and TV series. They wrote novels too! Really good ones, although that's not surprising. Solitaire's protagonist is Charlie's sister Tori, and its events take place a year or so after the start of Heartstopper (possible spoilers for season 3, who knows?). Radio Silence is set in the same town I think another year later, and Aled (who was in the comics, but was renamed and somewhat reimagined as Isaac in TV Heartstopper) is a main character though not the protagonist. Nick, Charlie, and Tori make very brief cameos.

David Levithan and John Green, Will Grayson, Will Grayson TW: I can't think of any major triggers in this book, I apologize if I missed something. Obviously both of these authors have independently written other excellent books, but this one is my favorite, mostly because I love Tiny Cooper and his musical so much. This is the lightest (i.e. not dark, and not heavy) by far of the books here. It's mostly really fun but occasionally serious.

Jandy Nelson, I'll Give You the Sun TW: bullying, homophobia, suicidal thoughts, death I read a review of this book that basically said enough with the artsy language and metaphors, so maybe it isn't for everybody, but I found it brilliant. It encapsulates a thought or an idea or a feeling in a way you'd never expect, but that you relate to immediately. Also I think that having the POV switch between twins, but two years apart (one twin at 14, the other twin at 16) with a major life-altering event in between, is an amazing way to tell this story.

Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor and Park and Carry On TW: bullying (E&P), abusive family situation (E&P), vampires (CO) Eleanor and Park is set in the 80s with all of the requisite 80s accessories, and characters that will make your heart break in different ways. Carry On is a sort of Drarry fanfic spoof (and supposedly written by a character in a different Rainbow Rowell novel!). But the characters are so well-developed and engaging that you stop seeing them as caricatures and start caring about them in their own right.

Jesse Andrews, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl and The Haters TW: vulgar talk (really just teenage boys trying to be gross), dysfunctional family situation (M&E&DG), death (M&E&DG) I can't overstate how much I love the writing style of these books. Always entertaining and often hilarious, it jumps from normal prose to an outline, to a film script, to a bulleted list, and always turns out to be the perfect way to show whatever is going on.

What's most important to me: In all of these books, the young adult characters are real people who are complicated, and surprising, and funny, and passionate. They may have serious problems but they can have fun and be silly. They screw up but they try to fix things. They love and support their friends, and their friends love and support them. Often there are parents who are also real people doing their best; I appreciate that in a YA book! For the most part these books don't have magically happy endings, but they do end in a good place, with hope.

[a-tiny-sloth]

A (not very) quick rundown of my osemanverse superhero AU for those who are interested

Tori has fire powers. originally this was because i thought it would be funny but it actually works pretty well bc it contradicts the way she might appear to people and that's fun

Michael has ice powers. and yes, of course he still skates. also, can you tell i'm playing with the metaphors in Solitaire?

Solitaire is an organisation whose goal is overthrowing the authorities by giving as many people as possible superpowers

Charlie has super speed. there is no good reason for this. (it's because he got into the Rugby team bc he's fast)

Nick has super strength. there is no good reason either.

Darcy is invulnerable. this is because i think she'd absolutely love it. also because i think it goes with her personality and family background and would make for some interesting explorations

Tara has healing powers. mainly because it's the opposite of Darcys power set and i wanted to explore the ways in which those two are opposites

Elle has (as of now) no powers. she designs the costumes for the Paris Gang

Tao and Sahar don't have powers either (as of now) but they help where they can

Aled can manipulate sound. his superhero persona is called Radio. he is very likely a villain at first (this is Carols fault)

Frances can create illusions. i really wanted to bring her creativity into this. and also, can you see the whole opposites-attract-thing i've got going on here?

Carys has the same power set as Aled, but she has less control of it

Daniel has no powers because this creates an even bigger rift between him and Aled and more reason to be jealous of Frances (yes, i like making characters suffer)

Raine has no powers either. she doesn't need them

Carol is an evil scientist who experimented on her own kids and that's the reason they have powers

The Ark are a famous superhero team working for a totally-not-evil corporation

Jimmy can turn invisible because of the irony (it's great because he can escape from anxiety-inducing situations but also horrible because it makes him a very public figure. also something, something, his real self is invisible to the fans)

Lister has super speed. it's about the rush created by alcohol and the rush created by speed, i guess. also the irony of being able to run as fast as you want but also never escaping your problems

Rowan creates force fields. this is to represent his protector-energy. he can destroy stuff with them too, though

Angel has wings. yes, i desperately need the "an angel saved you?"-scene to happen in this AU.

Bliss has wings too. she hates it, though, bc she saw how stressful being a superhero is for Rowan

Juliet has wings too. i liked the idea of those three very different people sharing the same power set and eventually forming a team

The Loveless squad solves supernatural/superhero-related mysteries. okay, i'll say it. they're the Scooby Doo Gang. i'm sorry

So! this is my AU! feel free to ask questions about it, i could literally talk about it forever. i AM planning to turn it into a fic (or rather multiple) but as you can see i'm not a person with small ideas, so this might take a while.

[queenslayerthepoettt]

HEARTSTOPPER RAMBLING!!

All right folks I'm gonna ramble about Heartstopper here so you have been warned for Spoilers already(duh):

1. GAHHHH I love that spark sound effect when Nick tried to touch Charlie's hand LIKE WHAT THAT WAS PERFECT OKAY

2. "62% Homosexual" why did that made me cackle💀

3. Okay NELLIE NELLIE NELLIE

4. Tara and Darcy are literally so cute it hurts

5. I'm loving the soundtrack!!! Can't wait to search it up on Spotify because every song SLAPSS

6. Harry sucks but the lighting at the party is my beloved honestly

7. ALSO OLIVIA COLEMAN IS PERFECT AS NICK'S MOM I can already imagine her giving him that "Love can't cure a mental illness away" talk EEEEE can't wait

8. Nick's reaction to Darcy and Tara's kiss is honestly so cute like what

9. Okay I'm loving that spark sound effect

10. THE BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH ARE REAL OKAY

11. Tao eating chips while staring daggers at Nick is so funny I can't 💀

12. "Why are we like this" MY BELOVED SCENE

13. I wanna go to that milkshake place so bad

14. Oh god not that sparks thing again

15. Okay I took a break from binge watching and I CAN'T STOP GIGGLING my mother's like "What's gotten into you?" Probably the Heartstopper effect lmao

16. Also a scene I literally loved in the beginning of Ep2: like Charlie's drum beats encompassing Nick's inner turmoil and increasing the tension in general in the scene. Like that was so clever it's like Nick's heart was "drumming" if you what I mean and it was just so good!

17. You're not allowed to say the "s" word" I literally love Nick with all my heart

18. "Is that a potato?" "It's supposed to be a shoe" god i love Tao💀💀

19. The way Tao splattered his apple juice on Harry GO OFF ICON

20. THAT FIGHT AGSGVSVSHSVS

21. The way Tori threw a glove at Charlie to get his attention lmao

22. Tori spits facts

23. "Maybe I don't deserve to live" PLEASE CHARLIE NOOOOO

24. "I wanna stay pissed off with him a little longer" Nick's little smile I love these two bonding over Charlie

25. Elle's outfits give me life honestly

26. Ahhh that sports day montage gave me flashbacks of my own school's sports day

27. Ahhhhh Charlie telling Ben to piss off(and why did I had to endure so many moments of Ben? Ugh I hate his little face)

28. My baby Nick left the rugby game for Charlie PLEASE THEY ARE SO CUTE AGSSHSBHS

29. AHHHHHH THE PHOTOBOOTH THE PHOTOBOOTH

30. "We're boyfriends" my little idiots in love😭😭

31. The beach scene and Nick's coming out to his mum scene got tears in my eyes ngl

32. TAO AND ELLE

33. Alice's cameo HIII ALICE

[undyingskies]

Jealous

Hello everyone, I am back yet again with another Charlie fic! I really enjoyed writing this one, it was a lot of fun! Also it’s long about 3,000+ words, I read over it and edited it as much as I could, so I really hope I caught all the mistakes! As usual I am happy to take requests, especially because I am starting to run low on ideas! Anyways, hope you enjoy! xoxo 

Warnings: None really, there is a little make out sesh but it’s not long!

_________________________________________

        Season 2 came before you knew it, even though it felt like the renewal of Julie and The Phantoms took forever. But the minute it got renewed to now felt like a whirlwind of activities that happened before you could even take a breath in.

Now it’s two months into filming and this is the first time you’ve been able to visit your boyfriend Charlie since the start of it. You had to finish your semester of school before you could come visit him, knowing that you’d never get any schoolwork done if you came to visit during the semester.

It was a long two months and you truly could not be happier to be sitting smushed between Charlie and Owen in the car heading to set at 6 am. Any other time you would have dreaded being up so early but it didn’t seem so bad with your boyfriend’s hand resting on your thigh and the bickering of the two boys.

“You guys have been up for maybe an hour and you seriously haven’t stopped to take a breath from whatever you guys are arguing about this time.” You laugh, while pointing it out, because seriously it started the minute they woke up this morning and hasn’t stopped.

“Y/N, I feel like you’ve forgotten the dynamic that goes on between these two and their early mornings. We have sleep beauty number 1 and 2 here!” Jeremy laughs from the front seat.

You know he’s right; these two boys bicker non-stop anyways but especially on early mornings since they both love their sleep.

“Thanks for coming to set today baby, I know you got in yesterday but I don’t think I would have been able to get much done today knowing you’re sitting at the apartment waiting for me.” Charlie whispers into your ear sending chills down your spine and butterflies to erupt in your stomach at his early morning voice.

“Of course, you know I wouldn’t miss it for a thing besides I miss the rest of the cast! I’m excited to see them!”

A smile takes its place on Charlie’s face and he leaves a small kiss on your neck before turning back to look at his phone.

You originally met Charlie on the set of Julie and the Phantoms season 1. You never wanted to be on the big screen or some big actor but the industry always intrigued you so you signed up with a local company to be an extra for sets. It let you travel, see the business, and put money in your pocket when you weren’t doing school.

You were an extra for the crowd scenes, so basically any time the band played you were there watching. One day before they started filming, you were watching Dirty Candy perform and without thinking you started doing the choreography with them. You had been a dancer for about 12 years but a bad knee injury took you out of the game. Your love for dance never stopped though so you really enjoyed watching them perform.

I guess the girls had noticed you doing the choreography so they approached you asking if you were a new dancer on set. Embarrassed that they caught you dancing, you let them know you weren’t, you just watched them so many times you had memorized it by accident.

The girls were really nice and you quickly took a liking to Savannah and Tori, they would ask you to hang out while they practiced because you could pick out little details to fix or make better. From there it turned into a beautiful friendship, they started inviting you to hang out off set and to all the hang outs with the rest of the cast. Then before you knew it, you were a part of the group and always attached to their sides.

When you first met Charlie, of course he got your attention, his cute smile and energy would grab anyone’s. You never really thought much of it after though, but you always did notice that he would always look at you and for a little extra longer, he paid a little more attention to you when everyone was talking as well as you, and he always seemed to smile just a little bigger when he’d pull you into a hug to say hello.

Then one day he asked you out, just like that. Savannah and Tori mentioned that they thought he was going too but you didn’t think he would. Nothing ever really happened between you two, it was just a friendship where you flirted sometimes, but like you said before you noticed those small things but didn’t think much of it.

Of course you said yes though, he looked so nervous and cute that you felt yourself fall almost immediately after that. Which pretty much happened, after your first date  there was another and then another, and then you guys were in a relationship and pretty much inseparable.

A tug to your hand pulls you out of your thoughts, you guys had arrived on set and Charlie was tugging you out of the car. Sometimes the boy forgets his own strength and he has you tripping out of the car. He laughs and stabilizes you by grabbing onto your hips. He looks down at you, placing a sweet kiss to your lips that was quickly interrupted.

“Is that Y/N  we see?” You hear Tori squeal followed by a “Yes that sure is.” from Savannah. Then they’re both next to you pulling you apart from Charlie and engulfing you in a group hug between the two girls.

It does feel good to be back with them, they quickly became two of your closest friends during your time as an extra on the show and you never lost touch with them either.

“Charlie, they need you in costume quick, they want to start as soon as they can to-Y/N!!” You hear your name yelled and arms wrap around your waist.

You turn to see the one and only Madison Reyes, you’re quick to wrap your arms around her as well. You loved the girl and she felt like a younger sister to you, she always came to you to talk and tell you secrets. You had really missed her even though she did facetime you about once a day.

“Mads it’s good to see you, I’ve missed you girly!”

“I’ve missed you too ya know, those facetime calls just don’t always cut it.” She laughs. “Anyways they do need us, they want to start filming as fast as they can today.” She says turning to Charlie and letting you go.

“Well you wouldn’t mind if we stole your girlfriend then would you Charlie since you’re busy?” Tori asks. “Besides you had her all yesterday, it’s our turn now.” You laugh at the girl’s words and turn to your boyfriend.

“I guess it’s alright, I’ll see you on set then? You said you’d watch our performance today.” Charlie says while pulling you in for one last hug before you depart.

“Of course, you know I wouldn’t miss that!” He places a kiss on your lips before he leaves with Madi and you with the girls. Who are both staring at you almost two excitedly.

“You two scare me sometimes, so much energy so early in the morning.” All of you laughing at your words. You follow them to the area where they will be filming but they have chairs and breakfast set up as well. You’re sitting with the girls, just drinking some coffee for the time being.

“So how has it been Y/N, does it feel good to be back around this craziness?” Savannah asks you.

“It’s been good, as far as life goes not much has changed since we all last talked! I finished the semester strong and only have two semesters left which is a relief. I hope when I’m done that means I will get to be around more and to travel with Charlie. And of course if feels good to be back! I’ve missed it and everyone really. I was bummed not to be able to re-sign to do extra work but I had to focus on school.” You tell the girls.

“Oh of course, we get that. Everyone here just misses you so much especially Charlie! As much as I am glad, you’re here so we can see you, I may be more glad because now we don’t have to hear him complain about how much he misses you.” You laugh at Tori’s words. The girls decided to actually send you quotes of the day that Charlie said about how much he missed you, that boy was quite dramatic but the quotes did end up being the highlight of your day more often than not.

You’re engulfed in conversation with the girls and don’t even realize the time flying by. They talk about the new season how it’s going, the new dances that they’re doing, your relationship and any other topic you could really think of.

A flash of orange catches your attention, you know that orange beanie like that back of your hand and you’re glad to see that it’s making its appearance in season 2. You follow the hat as it’s weaving through people and see it stop in front of the cameras.

Charlie’s eyes catching yours, he gives you his dazzling smile and wave in your direction before Kenny pulls his attention back to him but not before Kenny throws a wave in your direction as well.

“Well we got to go, we’re all in this scene but we’ll see you after!” Savannah says pulling you into a hug, Tori quickly following her movements.

Now you’re left alone, to watch the scene unfold in front of you. It really is so much fun to watch them all interact with each other on and off the screen. It’s such a wonderful dynamic they all have going on.

This scene is some scene at school, where Dirty Candy confronts Julie. Julie has the boys behind her giving her comebacks to all the jabs thrown her way from Carrie. It’s actually a funny scene watching the boys yell the things at Julie.

Take one, take two, take three, take four, and then a large grumble erupts from your stomach pulling your thoughts away from the scene before you.

You look down at your watch to check the time, it has been about two hours and you’ve been so distracted by everything that you forgot to eat. The moment of realization makes your hunger grow about ten times more. You quickly make your way over to the food table.

There’s donuts, brownies, cookies, some croissants, an assortment of chips, and some breakfast sandwiches. Honestly it all looked so good, and your stomach was telling you to get a bit of everything. The donuts and croissants calling your name the most, and maybe one chocolate chip cookie as well. You’re finishing up putting together your plate and grabbing a water when a voice startles you.

“I’ve never seen you before, are you new here?” You turn to see a boy, probably about your age, dressed in the schools letterman jacket.

“Oh no, not really.” You say with a smile, turning back to grab your water and food, to walk back to where you were sitting.

“Oh really? I guess I’ve missed you around here then, what’s your name?” He asks, following your lead and sitting in the chair across from you. Guess this conversation isn’t over, you think.

“Ya, I’m actually just visiting. I was an extra for the first season. It’s Y/N.” You say hoping that was the end, but nope.

“Oh cool, I’m Josh.” He says leaning in, reaching out his hand for a handshake while scooting closer to you. Almost too close and beginning to ask more questions.

Little did you know, that someone’s eyes were on you watching the whole situation. The longer Charlie watched the more he could feel the pit in his stomach growing. He didn’t like how close that guy was sitting next to you or the way every time you said something he would just lean that much closer.

The look in that guys eyes could have made Charlie stop in the middle of the scene and yell something, but he’s too professional for that. But that look, he knows what that looks means, that guy liked you and he didn’t understand why you weren’t stopping the conversation. The pit in his stomach now a giant hole and his ears and face on fire from anger or is it jealousy he thought.

“And cut. That’s the last take for this one, great job guys!” He hears Kenny yell and before anyone could talk to him, he’s got his eyes locked on you and walking straight towards you.

A pair of arms wrapped around your shoulder and a kiss to your neck scares you, pulling you out of the conversation that never felt like it was gonna end. You can see Josh’s eyes widen at the action that just unfolded in front of him and before he could say anything you hear Charlie pipe up from behind you.

“Hi baby, who’s this?” You can hear him ask in a tone you never heard before; he sounds upset?

“Oh um this is Josh; he was just telling me about the role he’s playing this season.”

Charlie reached his hand out to shake Josh’s hand.

“Well it’s nice to meet you Josh, it’s weird that I’ve never seen you before. I appreciate you keeping my girlfriend company while I was just a little busy.” You can practically hear the jealousy coming from his voice and you don’t miss how Charlie emphases the world girlfriend.

Josh visibly gets uncomfortable by his words.

“Oh ya man, sure. Sorry, she didn’t mention she was here for her boyfriend, just said she was visiting.” He says giving an excuse to why he’s so close to one of the stars of the show girlfriend.

“Oh she didn’t, interesting...” Charlie says trailing off and giving you a look you don’t think you’d ever want to see again.

“As much as I would have loved to bring up the fact, I had a boyfriend there wasn’t much of a moment for me to mention it between Josh’s story telling.” You say getting upset at Josh and Charlie’s actions. Sass and frustration evident in your voice.

You can see Josh’s cheeks get slightly red. Charlie is quick to grab your hand and start to pull you away with a quick,

“Well nice to meet you bud. We’ve got to be going now.” He says while still pulling you away.

The minute you’re out of sight and hidden behind a wall Charlie has you pinned against the wall and his lips on yours.

He doesn’t even give you a chance to catch up before he has his tongue swiping your bottom lip to get in. He’s quick to bite down on your bottom lip, a moan escaping you.

Your hands entangle in his hair pulling him closer, his hands gripping your hips pulling you up to have your legs wrap around his waist. Charlie moves his hands down to cup your butt giving it a slap as he starts to attack your neck with his lips.

You can’t help but lean your neck to the side giving your boy all the access he wants, basking in the feeling of his lips on your skin.

You’re pulled out of your little world when you hear voices and they sound like they’re getting closer.

“Char...Charlie, stop, someone... there is someone coming.” You struggle to get out as he keeps kissing your neck, you place your hands on his chest to give him a little push away. You’re able to get him to detach himself from your neck and place you back on your feet.

Two people walk past you guys giving you small awkward smiles, definitely knowing what was happening due how close you guys were standing, the mess that Charlie’s hair now is, and what you can only imagine is two pairs of swollen lips.

When they leave, he’s quick to attach his lips back to yours. But you place your hands on his chest pushing you away a little bit, even though it took everything in you to do so because man is that boys mouth magic.

“Baby, what’s going on? As much as I know you and your love for what’s happening, it’s never this public.” You ask, slightly concerned at your boyfriends behavior.

He shakes his head a little and moves his hand to rub the back of his neck, a pink tint appearing on his cheeks.

“I just, I don’t know thought it’d be fun.” He says not making eye contact.

“Oh that’s some BS Gillespie, what’s up?” You knew your boyfriend too well and that was a cop out answer.

“I just, I didn’t like how that guy was looking at you, or sitting so close to you and then he brought up how you didn’t say you were here for me and I just I don’t know...” He trails off still looking away sheepishly.

A small smile does form on your face as his words, you’ve never seen Charlie get jealous and truthfully it was a little cute.

“Oh so someone was jealous?” You ask with a little laugh.

“What me? Jealous? No, never!” Again, he’s trying to brush it off; but with the lift of your eyebrows he knows you’re not buying it.

“Fine, I was jealous okay? I know it’s bad to be jealous but whatever...”

“Actually, I think it’s pretty cute.” You say with a little laugh, grabbing onto his arm to pull him closer to you.

“Really?” He asks with his signature smirk and that tone of cockiness he just always seems to sport just a little. He now has his arms wrapped around your waist pulling you just that much closer, if it’s even possible.

You give him a nod and lead his lips back down to yours to interlock them again. This time he pulls away but leaves his forehead leaning on yours.

“I love having you here, even if it means you get hit on by gross extras.” You laugh at his words and the fact that his insult is what a twelve-year-old would come up with.

“I love being here, you know that. I really did miss you.”

“I missed you too sweet stuff, just don’t forget you’re here to see your very handsome boyfriend.” You both laugh together at his words.

“How could I ever forget? Plus it seems like if he thinks so he gets a little jealous and I don’t mind the outcome of it.”

“Oh shut up, you’re my girlfriend just gotta make sure everyone knows.” You roll your eyes at his words and he leans down again to place another kiss on your lips.

“Yep, your girlfriend and don’t you forget it.”

You both laugh again as you pull him in for another kiss. Your boyfriend may be a little crazy but you wouldn’t change it for the world because nothing feels better than being able to be back in his arms and laughing in between sweet kisses.

[mah-gah-lee]

You’re such a bitch - (Charlie Gillespie x reader)

Word Count: 2486 Request: no, again @jatpsmut​ inspired me with his fic “What Happens in Hawaii Stays in Hawaii - Charlie Gillespie x Reader (SMUT - 18+)”. I asked her if I could use the Hawaii idea and now I am writing this!

However, some details change from the original fic:

“Charlie and y/n haven't been best friends since they were kids, but from the first season of jatp. y/n is an additional actor on Julie and the Phantoms, also a dancer. Charlie didn't confess his feelings to y/n in Hawaii.

The only thing I got from the idea of @jatpsmut​ is the fact that something happened in Hawaii. So thank you to her for writing this incredible fic, without it this could not happen Summary: You and Charlie were best friends and roommates in LA. One evening, you heard it with a girl, the next morning, everything is awkward, bitchy and everything changes. Warnings: mention of sexual activities - language disclaimer: I don't know Charlie or his family personally or what his life is like. All you will read in this "x reader" is from my imagination. My point is not to invade Charlie's privacy. I don't want to offend him or offend anybody else in his life (family, potential girlfriend…). All of this is not the reality

 Tagged: @asdfghjkl-fanfics​ @standingtalllove​ @lukeys-giggle​ @happinessinthedarkesttimes​ if you want to be tagged in my next fic let me know ! 

--- 

You try to focus on the TV show you were watching, but obviously your roommate had company. And that company was way too loud in your opinion. You were rolling your eyes in annoyance when suddenly your phone vibrates, displaying the blonde head of your second best friend. If there was one thing you miss since you came back to live to Los Angeles, it was obviously living with this sarcastic character. Vancouver seemed so far away to you. You picked up your phone and Owen's face appeared.

 “Hi sweetie.” Owen told you with a smile “Oh, hey… Why that face?” he clearly noticed your annoyance. "Hi O." you said before complaining "Ugh, I miss living with you in Vancouver so much" "Yeah me too. We had so much fun. But hey, I'm sure we'll have a season two." "I hope so much"

You were an extra cast member on Julie and the Phantoms, you also were a dancer on the first season, just as Tori. You wished so much Owen was right about Jatp season 2 renew but Netflix seemed to enjoy making you patient. But the coronavirus had also literally messed up all your plans. However, you were angry, some series came out long after yours and got renewed while yours stayed on hold. It was clear that fans of the series as much as you were just waiting for the renewal of season two.

A moan came out of Charlie's bedroom with the sound of a bouncing mattress, you rolled your eyes again, groaning with a sort of anger.

"Jesus Christ ..." you complained "Wait, y/n, what's that sound?" “You know what I miss most about living with you in Vancouver O’? Rule #3. " “Rule #3? Rule #3" he seemed to think about what you said when he finally realized "Oh ... Oh! Rule #3! Wait.. Oh my God! Is Charlie being with a chick right now? ” He asked you with stupefaction. "Oh I wish you were wrong"

A laugh came out from you best friend mouth and you gave him a killer look through the screen, making him laugh harder. When you were in Vancouver, living with two boys forced you to set limits and rules for living. The first was; everyone cleans up their own mess. Second, the housework takes turns. Third rule: no one-night stand allowed in the flat. Surprisingly as it may seem, this rule had been followed very well by everyone. But at the same time, the boys' schedules really didn't make time to bring anyone home, and then after all, they were professional. But as soon as Charlie returned from his parents' quarantine, he forgot the existence of this rule, as if it did not apply to Los Angeles. It wasn't like he brought a different girl home every night, or even every month. It might have been the second or third time since you had moved in. But this situation embarrassed you more than you might have thought.

“Owen, don't make fun of me. I've been hearing them for about an hour now. " "Poor you. Now you understand how I felt in Hawaii" he smirked at you. "Wait, what did you say?" you asked him, in shocked. "Oh please y/n ... you heard me clearly"

Of course, you had heard what he said, but you were in shock at the revelation, so you needed confirmation. This story was supposed to be a secret between you and Charlie. The fact that Owen mentioned it could only assume two things.

"Did you hear us in Hawaii?" “I was in the room next door! Of course, I heard you. It's not like you and Charlie are the quietest couple ever having sex ... " "It seems Charlie is the loudest one…" you said, referring to your best friend having sex in the next bedroom. "Oh darling please, I can remind you of what you said that night. You two gave me nightmares." "Please don't. I feel so embarrassed right now"

Last year you went to Hawaii with several cast members and Kenny. A booking error forced you to share a bed with Charlie. It seemed that sleeping with a girl seemed more adequate than two boys sleeping in the same bed. Charlie and Owen had avoided that possibility the second the problem had arisen. One thing leading to another, after a few strong cocktails, you and the dark-haired boy had ended up having a horny night. The shame caused the next day made you both never talk about it again and "what happened in Hawaii will stay in Hawaii". You didn’t know that Owen heard you and it seems that boy can keep a secret for so long now.

The problem was that that night you realized that you felt more than an attraction to your roommate. It went beyond friendship or mere sexual tension at the sight of this Canadian. You wanted every aspect of what you might have experienced with Charlie and more: the laughs, the funny times, the lots of talking, the quiet times watching a movie or just playing Nintendo Switch, the sex. But you also wanted the PDAs, the feelings, just being with him like his girlfriend. But the actor was totally oblivious to your feelings for him, and you didn't even want to try to make him understand it on his own. You just created a shell for yourself and buried your feelings deep within yourself.

 “I don’t understand y/n. Why didn’t you tell him your feeling?” “Because I know he doesn’t love me back, O.” “Oh come on! You two are the most stubborn people I ever met!”

Again, for the third time tonight, you've rolled your eyes. You were pretty sure Charlie didn't feel the same way you did. Since Hawaii, neither of you had stepped forward towards each other, but sometimes your behaviors showed that you were more than friends. Another moan was heard from Charlie’s room and Owen's face on the screen was memorable. His eyes were wide and his cheeks were red.

"Okay, y/n. I'm sorry but I don't want to keep talking to you and hear my other best friend hooking up at the same time ..."

 You laughed and he hung up the phone not forgetting to say goodbye. You tried to focus on your screen again, your headphones being way too far away for you to catch them. Minutes later you finally heard the distinctive sound of Charlie's orgasm and knew you were finally going to be able to sleep.

 …

The next morning you woke up with a high level of fatigue. You casually walk to the kitchen to make coffee. While you were pouring yourself a cup of this much-desired black liquid, a person entered the kitchen.

 "Who the fuck are you?"

You raised an eyebrow, bringing your mug to your lips. The girl looked at you with a disgusted face.

"Roommate, darling. Not nice to meet you." "Why the hell are you wearing his shirt?"

A smirk appears on your lips, far too happy that she asked the question. When you were in Vancouver, it wasn't surprising to see you wearing the boys' t-shirts, although you had a preference for Charlie's, there were times when you wore Owen's. The boys never complained about this mania and you had to continue when you moved to Los Angeles with Charlie. The scene was pretty funny, you were there drinking your coffee in a t-shirt borrowed from your roommate while his conquest from last night stared at you in disgust, decked out in another Charlie t-shirt. You took a look at the Looney Tunes t-shirt you were wearing and just shrug your shoulders.

 “Old habits.” You simply said. "Yeah, you're gonna have to break this habit."

You laughed disdainfully. You didn't like this girl. Not because it was the conquest of your best friend for whom you had blatant romantic feelings. But rather because she had this condescension and believed that spending a night with Charlie gave her every right.

 "What makes you think that, sweetie?"

 You leaned against the kitchen counter, your posture offhand, a smirk on your lips. You weren't used to being such a bitch, but the girl in front of you pissed you off. And it was only nine in the morning.

 "Well, hello, I spent the night with Charlie." "Oh yeah sure, but that doesn't mean you're dating him." "Charlie is a great guy"

She wasn't wrong. Charlie wasn't heartbroken but he was still human and a twenty-two-year-old boy. Just looking at her you knew your best friend hadn't chosen her for a serious relationship with her. The little conversation you were having with her now confirmed that he couldn't date her. Another smirk spread across your lips as she looked at you with disdain again.

 "Who the fuck do you think you are? You are nowhere near his level" she said to you

This time, you couldn't help but laugh sarcastically. Yeah, she really pissed you off. Physically, she was everything Charlie didn't like about a potential girlfriend: big breasts, much bigger than him, slightly shallow. Oh but she had a fucking ass and maybe that was why he had chosen her. Her whole body reflected Charlie's choice for a one-night stand, but not the ideal girlfriend.

 "Oh honey, I'm nobody, but neither are you. Listen. You were just a one-night stand and me? Me, I'll still be here in his apartment with his t-shirts on when he brings you home, telling you that it was cool but that it will not go further. I will always be there ... "

Charlie woke up and headed straight for the kitchen. He greeted her conquest with a nod, giving her a hello. Instinctively, he approached you and put his hand on your waist before placing a soft kiss on your cheek. Charlie was tactile, it was his language of love. You couldn't help but smirk at the girl, giving her a victorious look. The actor looked at your outfit and a smile appeared on his lips.

 "So that's where it was! I thought I lost it in the Galapagos." he was referring to his looney tunes t-shirt

Your attention fell on Charlie and you smiled happily at him. You cheekily handed your cup of coffee.

"Coffee?" "Hell, yeah"

He grabbed your cup and took a long sip, leaving his conquest almost nonexistent to his eyes. The girl was so pissed off that she seemed to be boiling. She cleared her throat, annoyed.

 "Hmm, I'm going to go" she said. "Oh wait, let me have lunch and I'll bring you back if you want." "It won't be necessary."

You bit the tip of your tongue, amused, far too happy to hide it. Charlie's conquest returned to his room to get dressed. Your roommate turned to you and gave you a questioning look.

"y/n, what did you do?" "Nothing. We were happily getting know each other. I'm surprised at your choice, by the way" "Are you getting revenge?" "Get revenge for what?" "Since ... Hawaii, you've scared all the girls I've brought back." "Did I scare them? Stop, I haven't acted any differently than usual." “You scared them away,” he repeated. "Oh come on, Charlie, please, it's not like you're going to date them."

 He pulled away from you with a look of dismay. You were not wrong, he had never called back the girls he had brought back here, he did not intend to call back the one who was currently in his room. In fact, the only person he really wanted to spend time with was you. But since Hawaii, you seemed to be okay with never mentioning your night together again. This Canadian boy has been in love with you for months, maybe even years now. It quickly fell for you when you were in Vancouver.

"You're right. But I could have ..." he finally confessed "It's wrong. You know it's wrong Charlie, I know you, I'm your best friend. These are not the kind of girls you date. "Yeah… I couldn't date any of them. They just aren't you." He said, his last sentence ending in a whisper before hastening to take a sip from your cup of coffee.

You were paralyzed. Did he really just say what you've been dreaming of hearing for months? Did he just drop it like a bomb, in the middle of a morning conversation between sips of coffee?

“Wait, what?” “Nothing” “It wasn’t nothing, Charlie, you said something” “Nothing important” he repeats “Did you just say that if you didn’t date those girls it’s because they weren’t me?” “You seems to hear voices” “Charlie, I’m not joking… Did you say that?!” “Maybe” “Oh fuck, you’re an idiot!” “I am a..”

You snatched the cup of coffee from her hands and hurriedly put it on the counter. Never mind about the stains on the floor, you will clean up later. You didn't want to miss a second of this possibility. You wrapped your arms around Charlie's neck before resting your lips on his. Your best friend seemed surprised at first so much but quickly relaxed and wrapped his own arms around your waist as your lips moved to give the kiss more tender. The situation was most strange and funny; you were kissing your best friend, running your fingers through his long brown hair. You had to admit that even though you had found him attractive with his Luke's look but you couldn't imagine Charlie without that impressive mass of hair. Luke had short hair, Charlie had long hair. End of the discussion.

So, you were kissing your roommate, making up for lost time while in his room, a girl he had fucked the night before gathered her things. Charlie's conquest stepped out to head for the exit. You broke the kiss making Charlie growl in protest.

"I'm not showing you where the door is." you said. "whore .." the chick whispered.

Charlie stepped away from you and brought his one-night stand to the door, apologizing. He wasn't that kind of boy to go from girl to girl and the circumstances were really strange. The girl left, not without forgetting to curse him. When Charlie walks into the kitchen, you were sitting on the counter, a smirk on your face.

"You're such a bitch y/n" “It's my revenge for keeping me awake last night.” 

His gaze was sly, his smile was mischievous and you knew he was going to find a phrase worthy of the fucking boy he could be. 

"I can keep you awake for a while if you want." “A date wouldn't be too complicated, Charlie. Please be a gentleman. "You can count on me"

He gave you a softer look and you wrapped your arms around his neck again before kissing him. Ultimately, not everything that happened in Hawaii has to be restricted to Hawaii.

[ampintherain]

I’m Yours:

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Chapter VI

Y/N is Kenny Ortega’s ‘niece’ after going through a rough breakup, Kenny decides to fly her over to stay with him, will her broken heart mend?

(Female Reader, NO SMUT, Romance, Friendship, THIS IS MY FIRST EVER FANFIC/IMAGINE, I hope it’s good, Kenny is lifelong family friend so reader calls him Uncle Kenny. I’m British so the writing is going to be British so like ‘mum’ not ‘mom’ yanno?)

Warnings: swearing mostly

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“I don’t need to” he said, causing my heart to flutter, the things this boy does to me. 

Y/N

“Hey! you!” I heard the voice of a Canadian from behind me, I turned around and saw the smiling face of Charlie coming towards me, his torso lowered as he ran towards me with his arms open, I raised my eyebrow at his antics before I was lifted in the air and spinning around, I squealed at the sudden change and lightly tapped Charlie’s shoulder to put me down,

“Let go of me you weirdo” I laughed before Charlie let my feet hit the ground, he stared down at me with a cheesy grin plastered on his face, I rolled my eyes playfully and pushed Charlie towards the trailer, “you, Charles, have to get ready. Busy day today” I smiled, just as I opened up the door to costumes and pushing Charlie lightly,

“Okay beautiful, okay” he said, laughing at me as he closed the door behind him, I blushed at his kind words and turned around to see Madison and Jadah smiling at me,

“Girl, he totally likes you” Jadah stated just as I came up to them, I scoffed playfully and laughed at the statement, “he does! Everyone can see it but you” Madison nodded in agreement, pulling my arm and linking hers with mine, Jadah doing the same.

“He’s always around you Y/n, he always needs you nearby” Madison smiled, “it’s cute, it’s like he always wants to check up on you” she continued to tease, I rolled my eyes at the girl,

“You’re so funny” I drawled out sarcastically, walking with the girls to set, as we walked the girls continued to list the things that ‘obviously show’ that Charlie is ‘in love’ with me,

“He steals glances at you every single chance he gets. He is with you every single time we’re on a break” Jadah started, Madison nodding in agreement, I groaned, the list also contained this:

-I am the first person he goes to every single morning before shooting.

-He watches my Instagram and Snapchat stories repeatedly

-He has my post notifications on

-Madi and Jadah hear Owen and Jeremy tease him about me every day

-Charlie always fixes his hair and clothes every time I’m nearby

-He calls me and only me, beautiful, gorgeous, lovie.

“And and AND! Miss L/n, did you know that every time we’re in a scene and Kenny yells cut, the first thing Charlie does it come up to us and asks if you thought he looked good in the scene, or if you were impressed with his acting or if you thought-“

“Okay okay!” I sighed, cutting Madi off, “oh look, there’s Sav, I’m gonna go. See you guys later” I unlinked my arms with the two girls and ran over to Sav, calling her name,

“Oh hey sweetie” Sav smiled as she wrapped her arms around me, “oh look, there’s lover boy” she whispered in my ear before turning me around by my shoulders, I smiled as Charlie wandered over to us dressed as Luke,

“Ew what do you want Stink” I joked, as Charlie wandered over to us dressed as Luke, smiling,

“You” he answered simply, causing my heart to do a flip, I can’t seriously be falling for a guy this soon, really? I thought to myself, it’s not possible. I shouldn’t. Charlie quickly eased my thoughts as he engulfed me in a tight hug, “I want you” he whispered just within ear shot, “to stop calling me Stink” he pushed me away before running off to set towards Madi, Jeremy and Owen.

I watched as everyone started the scene, and since the girls had mentioned their list, that was all I could really think about. It was like my senses had heightened and I noticed everything that Charlie did. He really did steal glances at me, he really did adjust himself whenever he thought I was looking.

“Right guys, cut. 2 minute break, I’m just gonna check on the scene and see if there’s any adjustments needed for the scene” Uncle Kenny announced, and that was when I saw Charlie pull Jeremy and Owen to the side, they huddled together, I tilted my head to the side and saw Charlie look back over to me, I scrunched my nose at him playfully before beckoning him over, Charlie suddenly went wide eyed and ran his hands over his jeans, he bounced on his feet slightly before heading over to me,

“Uh hey, wassup?” Charlie asked, almost nervously, I smiled up at him and took a hold of his hand, his nerves eased slightly,

“Hey, you were really good” I assured, tugging lightly on his hand and smiling up at him, “you’re little grumpy face is so cute” I complimented honestly. I watched as the nerves washed away and Charlie beamed down at me, my hand still in his as I felt his thumb run lightly over mine.

“Really?” He questioned, I nodded enthusiastically and continued to smile at the sweet boy in front of me, he bounced on his feet and swung our hands slightly, “Thanks Lovie” he smiled,

“You’re most welcome” I replied, he booped me on the nose, causing me to scrunch my nose slightly,

“You’re cute” he tilted his head to the side, staring down at me with his gorgeous eyes, I could feel a blush slowly creep up on to my cheeks, I averted my gaze,

“You’re so silly” I laugh at him, trying to cover up the effect his words had on me, he smirks down at me and turns to look at the set behind him,

“I should get back, are you still gonna be here when I’m done?” He questioned, I looked at Charlie with an ‘are you serious’ look,

“Seriously Charles? Of course I am, I have to wait for Uncle Kenny” I laughed, he slowly nodded, mumbling ‘right’ repeatedly before chuckling and letting go of my hand and running over to the set.

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“Hey” I heard a voice speak from above me, I looked up to see Marcus, one of the cast assistants smiling at me, “can I join you?” He questioned, pointing towards the seat in front of me,

“Oh sure Marcus, of course” I smiled slightly before looking back over to the set, watching my friends do what they did best, I glanced back over to Marcus to see him staring at me whilst drinking from his water bottle, “you okay?” I questioned cautiously, becoming slightly concerned at his prolonged eye contact,

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just admiring your beauty” he winked at me, Marcus was around my age so it wasn’t weird, and it wasn’t like he was unattractive, in fact, he was the exact opposite. He had these piercing green eyes, floppy chocolate brown hair styled down the middle like Leo Dicaprio in Titanic, his nails were painted black, his face was dotted with freckles and he had a small nose ring... however, it still made me feel uncomfortable and I couldn’t really explain why.

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Charlie

I glanced over to check up on Y/n, like I do every single day, I couldn’t stand not being near her, I hadn’t even known her that long and it was like she consumed every thought.

“Who’s that?” I questioned, tapping Jeremy on the shoulder lightly, pointing slightly over to Y/n sat facing some guy, they were chatting and I could tell that Y/n wasn’t feeling too comfortable by the way her laugh wasn’t as joyful as it usually is, and how she was shuffling in her seat.

“Oh, that’s Marcus, he’s Tori and Sacha’s cast assistant” Jeremy explained, “he’s like 21” he continued, I nodded and overheard Kenny call for a 30 minute break, that was enough for me to put on the blinkers and make my way over to Y/n.

I wrapped my arms around her from behind, my arms draping over her shoulders as I rested my chin lightly on the top of her head, I felt Y/n jump slightly as the sudden contact of my arms on her, she tensed slightly before I watched her glance down at the bracelets donning my wrists, her body lost all its tension and she traced her soft fingers over my exposed skin on my arms “Hey Lovie, we’re on a break for a half hour, wanna come grab lunch with me?” I asked, Y/n looked up at me and then over to Marcus,

“Uh yeah, you two go. Um it was nice talking to you” Marcus mumbled, getting up from his seat “I needed to get back to work anyway” he laughed shortly before heading over to Sacha’s trailer, Y/n stood up and smiled at me,

“Thank you... I was feeling kinda awkward” she giggled slightly, I tilted my head slightly as a signal for her to explain, I knew it was something more than what she was letting on, “my ex, he um dressed and looked similar to Marcus, kinda made me feel weird” she explained simply, I tugged her arm lightly and brought her into my arms, rubbing my hand up and down her back, I could feel her body shake slightly as small and quiet sobs left her body,

“Hey, hey” I whispered quietly, resting my chin atop her head once again, “he isn’t worth these tears beautiful girl, you deserve so much more” I soothed, Y/n sniffled slightly before removing her head from my chest, she wiped away her tears and looked up at me, her eyes glassy, she smiled weakly and nodded,

“I’m not even crying over him... it’s just, I don’t know...” she sighed in defeat, I waited for a few seconds before Y/n continued, “I just feel like maybe I don’t deserve to be loved, I was with him for so long and for half of it, he was with somebody else...” Y/n mumbled, fiddling with her t-shirt nervously,

“You” I began, taking her hands in mine to stop her fiddling, “my Lovie, you are more than deserving. You deserve the world and more, he just is too blind and stupid to see how amazing you are, you’re beautiful Y/n, so beautiful” I cupped her face in my hands as she looked down,

“But Quinn is everything I want to be, she’s so so beautiful, I don’t know why I thought Zac would just want me, always, y’know? Especially considering Quinn was always around... I was so stupid” Y/n sighs in defeat, I watched as she went to speak again, about to tell me more self-deprecating words but before she could I cut her off.

“Nope, don’t say anything else misses, I don’t want to hear you put yourself down anymore okay?” I stated as I took her hand and began to walk with her to catering, I walked slowly just in case, I didn’t want anyone in catering to hear this sensitive conversation with Y/n “Look Y/n, you’re incredible, I’ve never met this Quinn but I can guarantee you that your beauty goes above and beyond what Quinn has. Not only physically but your personality is the most beautiful thing. Zac was stupid to let you go but he’s done the rest of the world a favour because now us single guys have a chance at having you.” Y/n blushed slightly at my words before laughing and shaking her head,

“That’s not true” she stated, dropping her head, she continued to walk as I stopped in place, I pulled her back lightly, “it’s not Charlie...” she continued

“It’s one of the truest things I’ve ever said, look Y/n, you’re perfect, absolutely perfect, I have never met anyone as beautiful as you and I doubt that I ever would. Zac truly is the biggest doofus” Y/n giggled at my use of words, “he is! He’s an idiot for letting you go Angel, he truly has done the single guys a favour because we are always searching for a girl like you. A girl with a kind smile, joyful laugh, twinkling eyes. You are everything that anyone would want” Y/n looked up at me through her eyelashes as a tear slipped out, I quickly caught it with my thumb, wiping it away.

“Really?” Her voice cracked, half smiling up at me, “you really mean that?” I nodded happily,

“I really really mean that” I assured, “come on now Lovie, let’s go get some food” I changed the subject quickly in order to make Y/n feel a bit lighter in mood, I bent down and tapped my back,

“What are you doing?” She laughed.

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Y/N

“Get on” Charlie whined, I rolled my eyes and jumped on Charlie’s back, he adjusted my comfortably before walking further towards catering,

“So what’re we having this time?” I questioned, Charlie shrugged, “how about waffles with peanut butter, bananas and maple syrup?”

“Oh definitely! That sounds like the best, I’m gonna have some pringles with mine though” Charlie said as he placed me back down on the floor, we walked together through the catering hall before grabbing our food,

“Your obsession with putting pringles on things is disgusting” I joked, rolling my eyes. We both sat down at a table with Owen, Jeremy, Madison and Savannah. Jadah was still grabbing food with Sacha and Tori.

“Look at this Charlie, look, Y/n knows how far to go- this waffle looks amazing” Owen said, pointing down at my waffle, “I bet you it will taste great” I nodded and offered Owen a bite, he accepted happily and nodded approvingly, “see? Yep. Amazing... but this! This travesty in front of you. Too far” I laugh at Owen’s dramatics and continued to eat my waffle,

“Don’t knock it unless you try it O, this is amazing” Charlie said as he squashed the Pringles in his waffle and took a bite, i scrunched my face in disgust as Charlie munched happily.

“Nope... I’m with Owen on this one. It’s gross” I said,

“Charlie, you’re nasty” Madi joked, causing the table to laugh, “you need to be checked” she continued, Charlie rolled his eyes and continued to eat his concoction happily.

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“Hey Y/n/n” I heard Charlie call at the end of the day as I was walking towards my Uncle Kenny, I stopped in my tracks and turned around, smiling up at the bouncing boy,

“Hey Bub” I smiled, the new nickname causing Charlie to blush slightly and smile at me, “what’s up?” I questioned, Charlie began to shuffle on his feet nervously, “hey... Charlie... talk to me” I assured soothingly, Charlie took a deep breath and nodded

“Okay, so” he began, looking everywhere but me, “Iwaswonderingifmaybeyoupossiblywantedtogoutwithmetonightmaybe” Charlie said quickly, so quickly that I couldn’t pick up what he was trying to say,

“Huh?” I asked, tilting my head, “I didn’t catch a word of that Charlie” Charlie took another deep breath and finally brought his gaze to me, keeping eye contact, I watched as his pupils dilated causing me to tilt my head in confusion,

“Okay okay... right” Charlie mumbled, still looking at me, “I was wondering” he began as he fiddled with his fingers, I reached over and took a hold of his hand smiling, his nerves quickly dispersed as his eyes searched my face, “I was wondering if maybe... you would wanted to go out with me tonight...? It’s fine if you don’t want to, I get it like you’ve just gotten out of a relationship and you’re still hurting, I get it but” Charlie rambled, I giggled at his adorable state and shook my head,

“Charlie, I would love to go out with you tonight” I smiled, Charlie looked up at me and scrunched his eyebrows together,

“Really?” He asked, “you really want to?” I nodded and swung our hands together,

“I really really want to” I went up on to my toes and planted a light kiss to Charlie’s cheek,

“O-okay, right. I’ll pick you up at 8?” He questioned, I suddenly was glad that today was a half day shoot, it gave me enough time to prepare and possibly go shopping to get a new outfit,

“8 sounds perfect” I smiled, Charlie nodded and jumped lightly on his feet before pulling me in for a hug, leaving a light kiss on top of my head and suddenly running off to his trailer, waving goodbye to me.

“I told you he liked you!” Madi yelled from behind me, I span on my heels and half smiled at Savannah, Jadah and Madison all huddled together smiling widely at me,

“Okay okay” I gave in, “you three are geniuses, but can you please help me out? I have no idea what to wear...”

“Oh my god, shopping?” Savannah questioned, Tori came up from behind me, wrapping an arm over my shoulders,

“Hey girl,” Tori smiled, “I heard shopping” she joked, “what’s the occasion?”

“Well our lovely Y/n has got herself a date...” Jadah trailed off before rushing over to me along with Sav and Madi, they all cuddled me in and squealed with excitement,

“Wait wait... with who?” Tori questioned excitedly, “is he cute? Do we know him?” She continued, we all pulled away from our hug just as Charlie walked past with Owen and Jeremy, he glanced over at the small huddle of girls and smiled at me, my lips pursed in pursuit of trying to hide my smile as I glanced down at the floor, “no way! I knew it!” Tori whisper-yelled.

“Okay I get it, you all told me so” I laugh, “now can you please help me!” I begged, tugging on Tori’s arm, the girls laughed and nodded, I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Kenny telling him the situation and he quickly replied saying it was all okay and that he was going out for the evening with Mr Reyes anyway.

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“Okay so we’ve settled on this dress right? Have you got anything to wear with it?” Savannah questioned as she held up a burnt orange dress, I nodded,

“I just don’t have any shoes” I admitted, the four girls in front of me nodded, Madi took a sip from her smoothie before pointing over to a shop,

“Why don’t we try over there?” She asked once she had taken a sip of her drink,

“Yeah why not, let’s go” Jadah agreed, I quickly ran over to the counter with the dress for the date alongside some other clothes that I just wanted to buy because sometimes I just couldn’t help myself before going back over to the girls, Jadah took me by my hand and walking with me and the rest of the girls to the shop Madi had suggested. We looked throughout the shop, each girl picking up shoes and showing them to me for my approval.

By the end of the 3 hour shopping trip, each girl had bags upon bags of clothes, accessories, shoes and anything else that they wanted to buy, me included. “Well I’d say that was successful” Savannah commented, causing us all to erupt in short laughter, “it was fun having a girls day! We need to do it again” she continued,

“Oh for sure, this whole thing was very therapeutic” Tori agreed we continued to walk further towards a the parking lot before we all went our separate ways, Mr Reyes was picking up Jadah and Madison, Tori was driving Savannah back home and Uncle Kenny was picking me up.

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Charlie

“Owen! I haven’t even planned out this date properly, it kinda happened in the spur of the moment. Where do I take her?” I ranted as I paced through the living room,

“Charlie... I don’t think that Y/n is going to be the kind of girl that really cares about where you take her, I also think she’s the kinda girl who would want a date that isn’t classed as ‘basic’ you get what I mean?” Owen said in an attempt to calm me down,

“Okay okay... so what do I do? I’ll pick her up at 8 and then I could take her to a small diner in Vancouver and then we could go to a viewing point maybe? Dude I don’t know” I stressed, tugging at my hair,

“Charlie... that’s the best idea, that will work perfectly okay? Do that, I’m sure she’ll love it” Owen said, I nodded and huffed, still stressed out. “You really like her don’t you?” He questioned, I sighed and sat down next to my best friend,

“Yeah man... She’s had me since day one, I’ve been hooked. She’s just beautiful, she’s so perfect. She’s kind and caring and funny... I just want to show her what it’s like to be truly loved because Zac, her ex, treated her like shit” I explained, looking over at the clock on the wall,

“You better start getting ready dude” Owen spoke my inner thoughts as he patted my back and pushed me upwards off the couch, I nodded and walked over to my bathroom to start getting ready.

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Y/N

“You nervous Star?” Kenny asked as we entered the apartment,

“Can you tell?” I questioned back, he nodded slightly, “It’s been so long since I’ve been asked on a date, I hardly ever went on dates with Zac. I think in the entirety of our relationship, we went on like 7 dates” I explained, Kenny took me into his side and patted my head lightly,

“Well I know my Charlie, he’s going to give you the best date of your life okay? No need to be nervous, just think of it as two friends going out, everything will be fine okay?” Kenny assured and he swayed with me. I nodded and rested my head against his chest, “you, kiddo, need to start getting ready” he said as he lightly patted my upper arm, I nodded and carried my bags into my bedroom.

Once I got into my bedroom, I tipped up each bag and watched the contents fall onto the bed lightly, I rummaged through the pile of clothes and shoes before pulling out the burnt orange dress and some small heeled black boots. I placed those items further up my bed before putting everything else in it’s rightful place. As soon as I had finished putting everything away I pulled out my black turtle neck top and my black socks that went up to just below my knee, I placed those items on my bed alongside the dress and boots.

I quickly hopped into the shower, washing my hair and body and shaving over any growing hairs, I stayed in the shower for around 20 minutes longer than I should’ve due to listening to my music and performing a non-existent concert. I jumped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body and rubbed my hair dry before brushing my teeth and putting on a face mask, I dried my hair with a hair dryer before curling it lightly, letting my hair flow freely once I had finished. I peeled off my face mask and wiped away any residue before applying some natural looking makeup and swiping some nude coloured lip stick across my lips, I set my makeup with some setting spray and placed some curling moose in my hair and hair sprayed it to keep the curls.

I applied some moisturiser to my body before spraying some deodorant and my favourite perfume, I stepped out of the shower and promptly got dressed, I searched for my black crossbody bag that was hidden somewhere in my wardrobe just as my phone chimed, I wandered over to my desk and picked up my phone to see the message from Charlie

>my favourite Canadian🇨🇦- Hey, I’m outside. No need to rush though okay? Come down when you’re ready Lovie ❤️

I smiled down at the text, although it was a small gesture but it was the first time he had sent me a heart and I couldn’t help but feel my heart race.

<I’ll be down in a second, just grabbing my bag ❤️

I rushed into my wardrobe and pulled out my bag before checking myself over in the mirror, Hm, I like it. I thought to myself as I twisted my body to look at the side and back of my outfit.

I rushed out of my bedroom, stuffing my keys, purse and phone in my bag, “you look beautiful Star” Uncle Kenny smiled at me,

“Thanks Uncle Kenny, I gotta go though, Charlie’s waiting for me” I said breathlessly due to the nerves kicking in again,

“Okay Munchkin, you have no need to worry or be nervous okay? Besides nerves are a good sign, it means you like him” Kenny said as he cuddled me in,

“I do like him, I really like him... I shouldn’t though should I? I mean Zac and I broke up not that long ago and I” Kenny promptly cut me off,

“You texted me 3 weeks before the break up with Zac saying that you were feeling off about the relationship, you convinced yourself it was a blip but you knew that you two were heading south. I see the way you look at Charlie and how he looks at you... and how you two look at each other. You liking him is not a bad thing okay? You can’t help what your heart feels so, you go and have fun. You got your keys?” Kenny asked, I nodded and pointed towards my bag, Uncle Kenny ushered me towards the door and waved me off as I rushed down the hall to the elevator.

“Hey” Charlie said as I left the main building, see Charlie stood outside of his car holding a sunflower, “you look beautiful... sunflowers are your favourite right?” Charlie questioned as he handed me the flower,

“Yes they are... and thank you, you look very handsome” I complimented, Charlie was wearing some brown boots, dark blue jeans with a plain white tee and brown courdory jacket. I twiddled the sunflower in my fingers, Charlie opened the passenger door for me and closed it after I had sat inside.

“You okay?” Charlie asked as he drove down the street,

“Uh yeah, just not really used to dates, I haven’t been on many” I admitted, Charlie’s jaw instagntly dropped,

“Wait... you serious?” He questioned “Zac’s such a loser man, if I was him, I’d be taking you out on dates every week” I smiled over at Charlie, “I’m serious”

“I know you are” I replied, “so where are we going?” I questioned, scrunching my nose, Charlie placed a single finger up to his lips, “it’s a secret is it?” Charlie laughed,

“Yes it is Lovie.” Charlie turned the music up and continued to drive for another 10 minutes until he pulled up into a parking lot. “We’re here” he said as he put the car into park, I unbuckled and went to open the door, “ah ah ah, what’re you doing?” He questioned,

“Opening the door...” I said obviously, Charlie tutted at me before ordering me to stay still as he hopped out of the car and opened my door for me, “oh you’re such a gentleman” I joked as I slipped out of my seat, Charlie took my hand in his instantly and intertwined our fingers- yeah Charlie and I had held hands before but never interlocked, this was another small detail that caused my heart rate to race. Charlie closed the door behind me with his spare hand as he moved our interlocked hands over my head so his arm was behind my neck, I readjusted my hand so it held his comfortably as we walked towards a cute diner that had a 50s style to it.

Charlie opened the diner door for me and walked us over to a spare booth, I slipped into the comfortable seat across from him, “this place is so cute” I smiled, looking around at the pink and dark mint green colours of the diner, I reached over and grabbed a menu and looked back up at Charlie, “what?” I questioned as I saw him staring at me,

“You’re just so beautiful” he sighed happily before he reached and took a hold of my hand again using his other to grab a menu and look through to figure out what he wanted.

“What can I get for you?” A waitress asked tapping her pad with her pencil lightly,

“Can I have the Neopolitan shake and the cheeseburger and fries please” I asked, the lady nodded and wrote down my order,

“And can I have the same but with a lemonade?” Charlie said, the waitress nodded and smiled at us before walking off and giving our orders to the chef. I looked over at Charlie as he ran his thumb over my knuckles before lifting my hand up and placing a kiss to my knuckles.

Our food came quite quickly and Charlie and I ate just as quickly, talking slightly in between. Uncle Kenny was right, it was like two friends just hanging out, however Charlie consistently added cute little moments, whether it was taking my hand in his or leaving a few kisses on each of my knuckles or dropping in compliments every now and then. Soon after we had finished, the waitress had come with the bill, “what’re you doing?” Charlie questioned as I reached into my purse,

“I’m paying for my half...” I said, Charlie shook his head and snatched my purse from my hands, “Charles!” I stated, reaching across in an attempt to get my purse back,

“Nope. No. I’m paying. I asked you out on this date, so I’m paying, the next date you can pay” Charlie said as he sent me a wink, I huffed and sat back in my seat, watching Charlie pay for our meal. “Now come on, the dates not over yet Angel” he smiled as he handed my purse back, I tilted my head in shock and slid out of the booth, Charlie tucked me into his side and we thanked our server before leaving the diner and getting back into the car.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Charlie

I pulled up and parked my car at the viewing point before clambering out and walking over to Y/n’s side, I shook my hands in an attempt to calm my nerves “it’s okay Charlie, it’s been going well so far” I whispered to myself “everything’s fine” I continued before I opened the passenger door, I took ahold of Y/n’s hand and closed the door behind her, I brought us to the front of my car and sat on the hood, tapping the spot next to me for Y/n to sit.

“Wow” she said as she saw the lights of the city, “this is so beautiful” the girl next to me snuggled into my side voluntarily and I slowly wrapped my arm around her shoulders bringing her in closer, playing with the curled ends on her hair and that was how we stayed, sat in comfortable silence, her soft hair falling over my fingers as I twirled the curls, Y/n’s hand placed softly on my chest drawing faint pictures.

“Hey” I said quietly after 15 minutes of the comfortable silence, “are you cold?” I questioned as I felt the girl shiver in my arms,

“No no, I’m fine” she smiled and waved me off, I shrugged my jacket off regardless as I knew she was lying, I draped the jacket over her shoulders and watched as she slid her arms through the holes, wrapping the jacket around her torso tightly,

“You look good in my jacket” I said, playing with the collar before pulling her hair out of the back of the jacket that it was tucked within, Y/n blushed and lowered her head, her gaze focusing on the sleeves of my jacket, I tilted my head, this is is Charlie... I thought to myself, I sucked in a deep breath before slowly breathing out to try and calm my nerves, I lifted my hand and tilted her head up to look at me, I watched as her pupils dilated once they had focused on my face and smiled at her, “okay... I’ve been wanting to do this for weeks...” I trailed off causing the beautiful girl in front of me to become confused, her eyebrows knitting together slightly and she bit the inside of her cheek, twisting her mouth to the side.

“Do what?” She questioned, I didn’t reply, instead I cupped her face lightly in my hands and brought my face closer to hers, I felt Y/n close the gap as my eyes fluttered shut, I leant in closer and before I knew it my lips were on hers, they were softer than I ever imagined and they tasted a bit like the shake she had earlier, our lips moved in perfect harmony but before I knew it, we were both pulling away.

“Sorry... was that” I said before I was cut off by Y/n’s lips back on mine for a short but sweet kiss.

“It was perfect” she smiled, I nodded and pulled her in for one more kiss, quickly becoming addicted to the feeling it gave me.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 💜

♡︎Taglist: @thesweetestsinner @ifilwtmfc @ashleyleblancx @chloepart03 @obxflowr @nocturnalherb16 @spn-marvel-nerd @jenfox25 @siennanoelle01 @sovereignparker @dpaccione @robbstarkmademedoit ♡︎

[karlajoyner]

Can I request a Charlie Gillespie x reader , where Charlie Gillespie is the reader’s boyfriend who dress as a clown for Madison Reys’s halloween party while they were in Canada and where Jeremy and Owen dress as clowns too to scare to Charlie’s girlfriend who is the reader but she hates getting scared.

It’s Stupid (Charlie Gillespie x Reader)

A/n: Hey guys so I hope you enjoy this one. I don't know if I'm gonna post the sunset curve one next yet because I have so much to work on for it. So I might post the one after unless you guys are willing to wait! Let me know if you are if you'd just prefer I post the next one!

Requested by: @fantomlovesjuke4ever (Tumblr)

Warnings: None

————

I placed the orange beanie over my head. Finally finishing off my final look.

Giggling to myself I walked out into the living room to see Savannah there in her Kim Possible outfit.

"How do I look?"

"Oh my god Charlie's gonna die!" She laughed throwing her head back.

"You look great"

"Are you sure it's not too....booby" I said moving the muscle tee away from my body to show my black bra. The muscle tee being directly from the show itself courtesy of the wardrobe department.

"It's Madison's Halloween party. I don't wanna show up looking like a slut"

"It's not too booby. You look great plus no ones gonna get to look under there except Charlie" She teased.

I playfully rolled my eyes grabbing a large oversized jacket to cover my costume.

"Where'd Tori go?"

"She went to go check on the boys to see if they were almost ready"

"Oh sounds good. Hey thanks again for letting me room with you two"

"Of course you know you're always welcome when your here. Plus I know Kenny always appreciates that you choose not to room with your boyfriend when you visit us"

"Kenny and apparently Owen too" I said earning a giggle from the girl.

"Tori just texted said the boys are ready and scary"

"Really?"

"Yeah. What's Charlie gonna be this year?" She asked as I grabbed my phone off the kitchen countertop.

"Beats me. He said it was top secret"

"Same for Owen and Jer" She spoke as I received a message from my boyfriend himself.

"Oh" I muttered.

"What's up?"

"Charlie just texted they'll meet us there. Something about needing the makeup department"

"Oh my"

"I just hope it's not anything too scary. I hate anything terrifying. I don't even watch scary movies at night due to the fact that I'm a complete wimp"

"Does Charlie know that?" Savannah bit her lip.

"Of course we've been dating for 6 months. If he didn't I'd be worried" I said walking out the front door.

I sighed stepping out of the Uber taking in the freezing cold air. Nothing too bad.

"How are you not freezing your socks off?" Tori asked.

"Toro you forget I've lived in Canada my whole life. You Californians cannot take the cold"

"Your the female version of Charlie. It's actually crazy" The girl said as she looped her arm through my own.

"Yeah he kinda rubbed off on me" I smiled walking into the warehouse with my two temporary roommates.

Immediately we spotted Madison, Sacha and Jadah.

"Y/n!" Madison and Jadah shouted running up to me.

"There's my angel. And my devils" I grinned at my boyfriends cast mates. Taking in the warmth's of the new surrounding.

"Okay let's see it. I've been waiting in anticipation to see your take on Luke Patterson" I giggled opening up the jacket to reveal the rest of my costume.

"You look great!"

"I think you look better than Charlie"

"Yeah my guns look great too don't they?" I asked flexing my arms causing laughter to erupt from the group.

"Okay seriously though where's my boyfriend and his posse"

"We have no idea"

"I do" Sacha stated smirking at me.

"Are you going to tell me?" I asked.

"Nope" As soon as the word left his lips my phone dinged.

"It's Charlie. He's asking me to meet him in the makeup. Where's that?"

"I'll walk you" Sav said taking my hand. We made it to a large door with windows to peer in.

"It's dark" I stated jiggling the knob to find it locked.

"Well that's weird" Sav said knocked. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as the door opened slowly.

"Take my hand"

"Okay Troy Bolton" Savannah said making me giggle. We walked forward slowly my heart dropping feeling a pair of arms grab my waist. I screamed in fear as the lights turned on. The three faces in front of me smiling widely.

"Ahhh" I shut my eyes hugging Savannah tightly. Who seem to have had a similar reaction because she didn't hesitate to pull me close either. My heart beating out of my chest wanting nothing more than to curl up in a ball and cry all my anxiety out. We gripped onto each other for dear life as......laughter erupted?

I slowly peeled my eyes open to see Charlie laughing loudly clutching his stomach along with Owen and Jeremy. A frown fell upon my face as I let the light haired girl go.

"Charlie" I whispered a small tear escaping my eyes.

The laughter quickly died down. Charlie's face now expressing concern.

"Y/n baby what's wrong?"

I scoffed walking past Savannah to be anywhere but here.

Flashback

"Come on babe"

"Charlie I'm serious. I hate scary movies and I hate being scared. It sends me into this weird panic mode and I get anxious" I ranted watching him turn the tv off.

"You probably think I'm some sort of freak who can't take a joke. If you don't wanna date me anymore that's fine but just don't make me watch that movie especially right now" I spoke looking out the window into the darkness of the dimly lit street.

"Why would you ever think I wouldn't want to date you because of this?" He asked hurt flashing his eyes.

"I don't know. It's just my past boyfriends have called me lame for not wanting to go out to a scary movie with them at night. Or not wanting to dress up as some sort of badass scary character for Halloween. It just sucks to be left out because of some stupid irrational fear"

"It's anything but irrational. So you got a fear of something. We all do. Hey I'm insanely afraid of spiders"

"Really?" I asked biting my lips.

"Yeah baby. It's a stupid fear I know but something about their long legs makes me just ugh" He said getting the chills.

"It's not stupid. Thanks Charlie" I smiled.

"Anytime y/n. Now come on" He spoke sticking his hand out to me.

"What about the movie?"

"We're still watching a movie. Frozen to be exact. Upstairs in my room, cuddling up in a pillow fort. Sound good?"

"Sounds amazing" I grinned taking it. I sighed contently as he pulled my into a hug.

"I promise I won't scare you or take any of your fears with a pinch of salt"

"I promise to do the same" I said looking up at the boy in front of me. Looking up at the face that I was slowly but surely falling in love with.

I made my way back towards the party immediately spotting Madi and Tori talking. Their eyes landed on me quickly sensing something wrong.

I made my way over to them wiping away the strayed water droplets under my eyes.

"Hey what's wrong?"

"The guys are assholes" I spoke bitterly.

"Did they scare you too?" Madison asked as I nodded. The two understanding me immediately.

"Yeah..... Its just when Charlie and I started dating I specifically explained to him why I don't like being scared and he promised he'd never take that one specific fear and use it against me. And he just scared the living crap out of me and Savannah. Which I'm glad I did figure out it was him and the boys before I passed out or puked. I'd expect it from Owen and Jer but my own boyfriend. I know it's stupid and I probably over reacted but I just- I've always made sure to kill every damn spider in our damn apartment so he wouldn't have to do it. And he does this to me"

"I don't think you overreacted. You have the right to be mad"

"You think?"

"Yeah but I also know Charlie's an idiot and needs to be reminded of things from time to time"

"You're right" I sighed.

"Look he's obviously gonna apologize. Just don't be too hard on him. His memories almost as bad as his handwriting" Madison joked making me let out a strangled chuckle hearing my name being called.

"Y/n! Y/n! Where is she?" Charlie shouted running into the room. The music coming to a halt.

All eyes landed on me as Charlie ran up to me.

"Please continue" I awkwardly chuckled pulling the brunette off into a random hallway.

The loud music blaring through the speakers once more.

"What is it Charles?" I spoke sternly turning around to face the boy who's makeup was much worse than before.

"Y/n baby I'm so sorry we pranked you. The boys convinced me that it'd be funny to get as many people as we could today. I didn't know you'd get so upset. I'll go take off this stupid costume right now if you want me to but please don't be mad at me baby. I love you" He finished nearly out of breath. I took in a deep breath hearing the sadness in his voiced as he had ranted like any other time he screwed up which wasn't very often. But still.

"Do you remember the night we watched frozen in your room?" I questioned nervously playing with the rings on my fingers. Another prop from Luke's character that tied my costume together.

"Of course it was amazing. We made a pillow fort and ate popcorn and afterwards we did stuff that was definitely not pg 13" He smirked making me roll my eyes.

"Do you remember why we watched frozen?" I spoke once more hoping he would get where I was going with my questions.

"Yeah we watched it because- oh. Y/n I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot I can't believe I forgot about that"

"Yeah......Listen I'm not mad that your a clown which by the way I do happen to also be afraid of too but it's not gonna kill me. And I'm certainly not mad at Owen and Jeremy because they wanted to have a little fun tonight. But they didn't know about my anxiety that I get whenever I get scared. You did Charlie"

"I know I did" He groaned throwing his head back.

"And if my memory wasn't so damn bad I wouldn't have even thought about doing it baby. I hope you know that. And I'll do literally anything to get you to forgive me starting with never putting you through that again when your with me" He spoke taking my hands in his.

I sighed intertwining our fingers pulling him close to me.

"I know you won't. I also might have overreacted a bit" I said nuzzling my face into his chest.

His arms immediately wrapping around me completely.

"You didn't overreact. Overreacting is me when I see a spider. In all seriousness I love you and I'm really sorry for doing that"

"It's fine Charlie. I'll get my revenge on you guys" I spoke kissing his cheek before skipping away back to the party.

"Y-you're what? Wait baby your what? Y/n!" I heard him call after me as I laughed.

————

Up Next: Sunset Curve x Reader (Maybe)

Carrie Wilson x Reader

Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Alex x Male Reader

————

@lolychu @headheartbellarke @bookish0918 @kcd15 @ifilwtmfc @moviesbooksandfandoms @lovesanimals @lavender-writer @kaitieskidmore1 @morganayennefertyrell @iloveteenwolf @ghostofmgg

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs Heartstopper S2

Alright, I have gathered my psychological strength, onto season 2!!

Charlie and Nick's little "hi"s are very sweet to me, they just always seem so happy to see each other

"Kissing at school is a terrible idea," said Nick, both accurate, and in direct contradiction to his actions in the hallway on sports day not so long ago

I understand that Nick is not happy with his rugby friends but it does put him in a rough position to be isolating himself from his long-time companions at a time when he's dealing with a lot of change

What up with Mr. Farouk, why did he yell "QUIET" at the top of his voice like anyone had really been saying anything audibly:

"No chatting, no phones, no annoying questions." Genuinely what is the point of a study hall like this!! Talking to people can help you revise!! The internet can help you revise! Why have desk partners or a study time at all if you're going to be so incredibly restrictive about what resources they use. Mr. Farouk we've just met but you seem like your pedagogy needs some work

The way neither Nick nor Charlie have any respect for authority LMAO. Both texting in class immediately after the teacher starts talking

"I want to rejoin the rugby team." The valiant return of Rugby Romance!!! It is very funny how Charlie's motivation for rugby is 1) Nick and 2) Sport, in that order

"But maybe being weird is how he expresses his romantic feelings." LMAO true

The panic in Tao's eyes upon his romantically-charged friendship touching his hair. A visual demonstration of 🚨WEE OO WEE OO WHAT'S GOING ON 🚨

"How did you know this is my favourite chocolate bar?" HAHAHAHAHA, Heartstopper joining the likes of every Thai show I've ever watched when it comes to sponsor integration. Perfect. Product placement is allowed if it amuses me:

"If we're out by the time we're on the Paris trip, we can kiss on the Eiffel tower." Nick is sooooo romantic. Also it's windy up there

Baffling to me that all these teens are allowed to have a sleepover, not only because of it a being mixed-gender event, but also because half of them are DATING EACH OTHER

Sidenote: I love that Nick does have a support system in these friends

Side sidenote: Whichever tumblr coder took away my indented bullet list ability. Meet me in the Denny's parking lot

Elle and Tao's almost kiss in the garden 🌻💛 This friend group IS incapable of platonic activities

Tao every time Nick says anything: U shut ur mouth, Rugby Boy

"You didn't like me because you're gay." "Well, I... I'm bisexual actually." YEAHHHHHHHHH Nick also fjfhfjhfjk Imogen

It makes me happy how warm and yellow the colouring of this ep is

"Nick is banned from sleepovers from now on." Hater energy, but fair hahahahaha this is what I expected

Quite honestly I am unable to see Tori as any age but 30 LOL. smth about her reminds me of Catherine Tate's Comic Relief skits:

"I can protect him," said Charlie, like he can run faster than homophobia. (I'm with you on the concern, Tori)

Is each season going to have a colour theme? Because this ep looks quite yellow too, where a lot of the last season was blue

Charlie abandoning his schoolwork stresses me out LOL BOY

Rough for Imogen to be dating Ben, he sucks

"It's not my fault he liked me before you." "I hate you because you literally assaulted him." Good for Nick for calling it what it is

"Sorry, am I not allowed to like girls as well as boys?" Ben said, bisexuality is not only for the sound of mind

Nick softlaunching his relationship with a picture of his dog and boyfriend:

Really bold of Elle to declare the art school friends as new friends for life after one (1) day of interaction but more power to her I guess. I love that she is making more friends, and specifically trans and non-binary friends because it really does change your life to meet people with shared identities 😭❤️

Fjkfkfjhf Tao representing my diasporic experience and replying in English while being spoken to in your mother tongue

"He's done some really bad stuff." "What? What'd he do?" "I can't tell you." I feel like you COULD say he assaulted someone without saying who but I respect Nick not wanting to even come close to outing someone

"I don't actually have that many friends." Colour me crazy, Imogen, but I kinda think that's cause you're never at your own school

This GCSE scene with Nick is exactly why I need psychological strength for this show, it's a visual representation of a panic attack

HAHAHAHHAHA the juxtaposition between Tao's mum, who loves Elle and wants her to live in their house, vs. Elle's mum, who refers to Tao as "that boy of yours"

"I just... I just wanted to meet the guy that, you know, turned my little brother gay." Get fucked David, and get out

David said: I am homophobic AND biphobic. I can do both

You know, I'll give my brother this credit, when he found a little gay picture of me he just handed it back and minded his business

Me @ Charlie's mum: Strict parents raise sneaky kids

"Charlie, this is not your fault," said Nick, even though Charlie would take fault for breathing if he could

Tao also representing the diasporic experience of being handed cut up fruit when you're sad

The Elle and Tao pic being Tao's phone background gjkkgjhgjhg

"Honestly, Elle could do better. And she probably doesn't even like me back, and this is probably going to destroy our friendship, it's going to destroy our friendship group, and it's going to leave me devastated for years to come. So, this is probably a really selfish and stupid thing to do, but I'm going to tell her. Help me." Wow, I did not anticipate this level of emotional honesty from Tao. Good for him!

"We're sorry about what happened at the cinema. We should've spoken up." Awwww Rugby Boys Redemption

"I know you and Charlie are really good mates." The immediate cutaway to them kissing is the funniest thing this show has ever done

Ah, well it was only a matter of time before one of the teachers so their many, many school kisses. I hope Coach Singh is cool about it

"Lots of lesbians in women's rugby. That's how I met my wife." YEAHHHHH Coach Singh! Sometimes stereotypes DO comfort me

I loooooove that Nick has a teacher on his side now. Good for him!!

"It's fine. It's done." CHARLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE why will you take responsibility for everything all the time except the one thing you need to take responsibility for, which is your history essay

Charlie submitting essential coursework five minutes before it's due. Honestly relatable

"You're going to be so annoyed with me after [Paris.] " "Awww, but I love you because of how annoying you are." This is my love language

Wow, Tao, this new haircut and confidence is working for you:

As a sidenote: Cutting your hair when you believe someone else likes you is a bold move. Hair can change a lot kjghgjhgkjh

The way their friends rush them after they agree to go out!!! I love this friend group

Awww, it's fun that Isaac has a newfound relationship in James, even though I am like, 90% sure he's going to be uninterested in romance as a whole

"Look after him, or you die." Tori's Pre-Party Shovel Talk

"Just think of us being out as a couple in Paris." 1) Do you think your teachers will still let you be roommates if they know you're dating and 2) Not terribly convincing when Nick looks like he's gonna be sick

Nick is truly popular against his own will LOL

"You're the one who said we'd always put our friendship first. You promised." "Well, I guess romance does ruin friendship." I do think Elle has been pretty unkind here. I know Tao is acting out-of-character, but he's doing it to impress Elle, and she's responded by inviting her friends, who Tao doesn't know, to the latter half of their date

"Nick doesn't want to talk to you, Harry, piss off." Very assertive of Charlie, good for him

Even though they're in England, it'd honestly never occurred to me that they'd be leaving for Paris on a bus

Counting Isaac and James, there's a lot of Romantic Situations on this Bus:

"What the hell was that?" said Tao, about Nick speaking French, like he doesn't know Cantonese

Skjhkjdhdjh Tao and Isaac immediately preventing Nick and Charlie from sharing a bed

SOMETHING is going to happen between Mr. Farouk and Mr. Ajayi, and while it'd be fun if it was something gay, I think it's going to be homophobic, bc this show just isn't THAT fun

HAHAHAHA Tao just slamming down the apple juice on Elle's table and running away

"I need a drink. An alcoholic drink." "We probably shouldn't drink alcohol." "I need a croissant then." WILL IT be gay? Please sirs

Isaac should also probably take the 'am I gay' internet quiz

"My dad's French." "Since when?" "Since.... his birth?" Nicolas Nelson u are so funny and cute

Does Charlie have a bit of disordered eating? We've seen him beg off having food a few times

HAHAHA the way Elle is like, "I don't want a man who takes me to movies I like, I want someone who jump scares me in museums!"

"It's like all he cares about is having a girlfriend." Probably true, Imogen

Yikes for Charlie @ having to sit next to Ben. Also. Imogen HAS to see what the hell is up here, there's been SO MANY loaded glances

Update from like 1 minute later: Seen, spilled, and SPLIT UP:

"There's no need to call her a bitch," said Harry, suggesting he's okay with homophobic slurs but draws the line at derogatory language towards women

"Everything would be so much easier if I was into girls." Is that true, Imogen?

"You care about your friends so... loudly." A very good way to describe Tao

Tao after Nick compliments him a bunch: I have to leave immediately

Nick said: In the spirit of France, I've decided to try necking

HAHAHAHHAAH the "Oh fu—" cut off on Charlie learning he has a hickey

This is one situation in which it would be better for Charlie NOT to be out because the list of people who could've given him a hickey goes: Nick, Tao, Isaac or James, so I really don't see this being the best situation for anyone

"Charlie didn't give me a chance to figure myself out, and then you came along, and you stole him from me." 1) Can't steal a person 2) You assaulted him, Ben and 3) Figuring yourself out does not equal treating people like shit! See: Nick

"Hey Nick. Is that hickey from you then?" "What if it was? Are you jealous?" YEAHHHHH NICK

"Did Harry just stick up for us?" "I think he did." All Harry required was one (1) empathy lesson from Isaac to develop a conscience

Ohhhhh Tao's comment about accidentally outing Nick from last season makes a lot more sense in the context of him being overheard about Charlie

Little Charlie and Tao are soooo cute omg

Awwwww Charlie making a Charlie and Tao love lock for the bridge ❤️ Sweet boy

"People might think you gave me this hickey if you keep this up." It would be EXTREMELY funny if people assumed that Charlie had somehow gathered a gay boys' school polycule

Is the Louvre background greenscreened kjghkjghg I can't tell

"You don't have to understand your feelings completely to know you like something." Hahahaha Nick being the subtle matchmaker of Elle and Tao this season is something I couldn't have predicted, but I adore

I am growing more and more sure all of the painting scenes are greenscreened haha. I guess renting out the Louvre was out of the budget, very fair

Tao and Elle, while their best friend Charlie is passed out on the floor of the Louvre:

"I don't do poses." "Yes, you do. Go on." I think Mr. Farouk and Mr. Ajayi should develop a little flirtationship. As a treat

"Charlie, I've noticed you, uh, don't really eat a lot. Generally." Me too, Nick

NOT CHARLIE TRYING TO APOLOGIZE FOR HAVING DISORDERED EATING. AIEEEEEEEEEEE

"Sometimes it feels like the only thing I can control in my life." God. godddd. Not to reveal too much of myself, but this is the only fucking time I've ever seen someone in a show with a similar relationship to food as me. Not out of body image issues, or out of personal neglect, but as like. A bad relationship with food and anxiety

"Do you like that fact that I speak French?" Heehee

HAHAHAHAHA Charlie and Nick pointlessly running away from their field trip even though I'm sure Nick would be ALLOWED to meet up with his own dad. Very rebellious

Well, Stéphane, Nick's Deadbeat Dad, made a brief but impactful appearance

"If you're thinking about giving me another hickey..." [High-pitched, lying] "I wasn't thinking about that."

Another stressful moment caused by Nick and Charlie's Irrepressible PDA HAHAH:

"When you don't figure out you're gay until your late 20s, you tend to miss out on those." IT WAS THAT FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND IT WAS SOMETHING GAY!!!!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MR. FAROUK ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I love that every named teacher in this school is gay. 10/10. I want to give the writers a leetle kees on the lips

"You flirting with me?" "Maybe." Mr. Ajayi!!! 👀❤️

I've not really talked about the Tara and Darcy subplot of Darcy being unable to say that she loves Tara or that her parents clearly don't know she's dating her but I am curious where it's leading

Isaac's No. 1 love is books, and I do love that for him

"To be honest, I sort of had a crush on him last year." We return to Charlie representing The Only Out Kid At School Whom All Other People Figuring Out That They're Some Type of Gay May Inevitably Direct Their Feelings

This is officially THE MOST romantically charged field trip I've ever seen in my life. Even Isaac's trying his hand (and his lips):

"I know I've said some homophobic stuff in the past, but I feel like I know better now, and I'll never say anything like that again." Harry. I don't know if this is going to be enough of an apology to get you into the World's Gayest Birthday Party

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO CHARLIE SHUTTING THE DOOR IN HARRY'S FACE. GOOD FOR HIM!!!

"I know who it was. Me. We're dating." Awwwww Nick ❤️

Also, love love love how when everyone's like "U gay?" He consistently clarifies that he's bi

"I'm going to pretend I believe you have food poisoning." I take back everything I said about Mr. Farouk's pedagogy, he's a real one

Also why on EARTH would they not take Darcy to the bathroom to vom and rally first! Unrealistic, blocked. You would not tell a teacher unless she was DYING

Nick and Charlie's very forthright conversation about how they feel about sex. They're very good communicators! 💟

"I love you so much. I know it sounds like I don't mean it, because I'm drunk. But I really do mean it. I love you." Darcy said: The alcohol was communication juice, actually

Don't look at me but Tara kissing Darcy even though she was just sick is very romantic, I said what I said:

I repeat: THE MOST ROMANTICALLY-CHARGED FIELD TRIP EVER, IN THE HISTORY OF FRANCE:

I feel from the separate delayed glances the night together between Mr. Farouk and Mr. Ajayi did not go that well

Also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

TAO'S MUM WANTING TO CELEBRATE WITH THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY THAT HE AND ELLE ARE TOGETHER!!! 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

The shadowy figures as u enter your house. We've all been there, Darcy

"You probably just haven't found the right person yet." Hoo boy

"Like, being in a world where romance and sex are prized above everything else when you don't feel those forms of attraction. Growing up feeling about something about you is different, but you don't have the words to describe what that is." 1) I love that Isaac is finally finding words for his experience and 2) It bugs me a leetle when people phrase this idea without including the word CISHETERONORMATIVE, because trans and queer romance and sex are CERTAINLY not prized above everything else. It's a necessary distinction

Elle's safe place being Charlie and Isaac and Tao 😭💘😭💘😭💘😭💘😭💘😭💘😭💘😭💘 My heart

"I'm glad you realize what you did was wrong, but you don't get to ambush me into forgiving you." Charlie is SO good at finding words!! He could teach a class

"It's a very attractive sport to women," said Stephane, not knowing he was literally the only person at the table who didn't know his son was dating a guy

Nick said: This is a coming out AND a Deadbeat Dadtervention, get rekt Stéphane

"You have not grown up into the man I'd hoped you'd be, David." WOW. Even Stéphane knows you're wrong, David. That's gotta hurt!

Mrs. Spring, probably: Wow, so your boyfriend comes from a broken home!

"It was nice to meet your... boyfriend. I don't really understand these things, but he seems like a very nice young man." "He is." Alright, Stéphane, you get $0.000000001 knocked off your Deadbeat Dad Debt

"Talk about my brother like that again, and I'll end you." GET HIM, TORI

This show loves a happy/sad juxtaposition, so we must pair Nick and Charlie's semi-successful family dinner with Darcy running away from home

"You should invite him tonight." Gay teachers alliance unite!!!

"And he still carries it all with him. Even though it's over. It still causes him a lot of pain. I don't know, do you think that's true?" "Yeah, I do. I think when something really bad happens, it can affect you for a really long time." Two teenage boys' first endeavour in finding words to discuss trauma

I like Elle's dad, he's fun. I really appreciate that none of the main group's parents except Darcy's appear to be mean

"We've missed you mate." "Yeah. I've missed you too." RUGBY BOYS REUNION 💗

I also haven't really talked about Sahar, bisexual prom guitarist with a frenemieship with Imogen, but I do like her a lot as well

The extra in the green dress staring intently at Tao and Elle is killing me. What a scene-stealer

"I want to go to Lambert." "I know." Shut the fuck up, Elle and Tao are sooooo cute:

"I was going to suggest dinner and drinks next time?" NATHAN ❤️ YOUSSEF FOREVER

Omg. Imogen's little musical note animations on Sahar's guitar!! Is her statement about being into girls going to come to fruition!!!

Heartstopper said: There will be NO relationships that do not involve queer or trans people. Not on my watch!!!!!!!

Nick having six of his closest friends over for a prom night chill is extremely relatable. Heartstopper really does touch upon a lot of memories LOL

Darcy's mum not even giving a shit her daughter spent the night in a public park. Boooooooooooo

"I hide who I am when I'm at home." Darcy 😭😭😭😭😭

I hope and feel that Darcy has a home in her friends ❤️I believe they all have a home in each other

"You never told me about... the bullying." Nick said: I'm going to drastically change the tone of this evening, Charlie

Ahhhhh, I knew Charlie's admission was coming based on the season's warning, but oof

Nick about to tell Charlie that he loves him, like we can't sense it with every fibre of his being

(Aside: I do think both Charlie and Nick should probably be seeing a therapist, or at the very least a (safe) school counsellor. They're carrying a lot)

Charlie about to text it as well!! I wish for nothing but a kinder world and brighter days ahead for these boys: