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lianneoelke · 4 years ago

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The Vancouver Island & Sunshine Coast Loop: A Solo Cycle Tour of BC’s Finest Retirement Communities. Part 2

Day 4: I hit the road at 7am. A quick ride on the Trans Canada woke me up and brought me to my daily bakery stop.

Serious Coffee for Serious Cyclists.

After second breakfast, I only had to follow one road: the 19A. With wide shoulders and no navigation required, I made good time up the coast. It would have been top notch riding if it wasn’t for the EXCESSIVE WIND that blew all day for NO REASON AT ALL.

The best views were at Union Bay, where I slowed down a little too much until I realized the ferry I wanted to catch was coming up soon. I gunned it the last 25km to Comox, which was, shockingly, FULL OF HILLS. I gave up on my granny gear zen and let my rage carry me to the ferry terminal, where I caught the 3:25 just in time. The wind refused to chill out so I sat inside and charged my phone while I watched the white caps dance on the ocean.

Once I landed in Powell River it was only a few minutes to the campsite. After 113km my legs once again felt perfectly normal, which was weird. Sitting on a bike saddle, however, was deeply uncomfortable. I decided to walk the 3km to Townsite Brewing, stopping to gorge on veggie korma and stuffed potato naan on the way.

I didn’t have room for another beer but I drank it anyway because I had biked HUNDREDS OF KILOMETERS to get there.

I met this beautiful cat on the way back to the campsite, where I quickly fell asleep.

Day 5 began with gear sorting. It seemed like a lot.

I was a bit apprehensive about biking on the Sunshine Coast as I heard it was even hillier than Vancouver Island, but if the family camping next to me could bike to Lund from Powell River with a trailer and a young kid, there's no reason Gavin and I couldn't. The hills were very present, but still doable. I only had 27km to go, and I would have enjoyed the long decent into Lund if I knew I wouldn't have to climb back up eventually.

Lund was a tiny, bustling hub. I was surprised at the size of the grocery and liquor store (also surprised there was a liquor store at all). The store didn’t have much fresh produce, but I can live off beans, chips, and hot dogs for DAYS, thank you very much. Next I headed to Nancy's Bakery for a couple sandos and one of their famous blackberry cinnamon buns (which I'd been thinking about since the last time I was there, two years ago). I found a patio spot next to an outlet and gave my phone one last top up, because I couldn’t count on charging anything on Savary Island. With a couple hours before my water taxi reservation, I found myself on my own with nothing to do, which hadn't happened yet on the trip. I decided to call my parents and tell them what I was doing. I promised my mom I’d write a blog post so I could share some photos (hi, mom!). It was bizzy on Savary Island: rubbermaids, bags, boxes of booze, bikes, and a line of trucks lined up the dock. The people quickly dispersed into various homes, cabins, guest houses, resorts, and moss covered trailers. I went up the hill (no matter where I went, it was up a hill) to the campground: a loose scattering of wooden tent pads on some guy’s property. The owner told me “There is no check in. You just find a site that looks good and settle in.” Cool.

Of course the only rain I saw on the trip happened as soon as I arrived at a sub-tropical island. I expected to have a nap ASAP, but instead opted for a cold shower and laundry in the sink. I couldn’t fully clean my smelly bike shorts with Camp Suds; I could only make them slightly less smelly.

Savary is a long, skinny island filled with lush rainforest and edged with white sandy beaches. After a comfortable and pitch black night, I was up at a decent hour. Day 6 was my rest day, which meant biking without all my gear. My legs felt overqualified for the 8km rip across the island and back.

It was Gavin’s rest day, too.

After a big brunch scramble and a hot dog, I headed to the beach, which was just as sunny and glorious as I imagined. I took a dip in the ocean, read, ate a bag of chips and a hot dog. When I ran out of food I went back to my camp and made an underwhelming dinner of overcooked veggies and terrible instant mashed potatoes with a hot dog.

One of the best books I’ve read in a long time. It’s about a girl growing up in a survivalist, ultra conservative, and unsafe family fighting for education, despite never setting foot in a classroom until the age of 17. I left my copy at a community library on Savary. Feel free to go get it. On day 7 I caught the morning water taxi back to Lund, then made one more stop at Nancy's before tackling the 3km uphill. It was overcast and muggy. Sweaty and grimy. The ride to Powell River was quick though, and I treated myself to a Buddha bowl and cold beer for lunch.

It was another 27km to Saltery Bay...

... which was an exceptionally beautiful provincial park.

Of course the campground attendant came to collect fees while I was in the middle of washing myself from a pot.

I felt resourceful that day. Like I belonged out there. It was the little things, like seeing the cycle route sign even though I didn’t see any other cyclists, collecting large rocks to hold my tent down because the ground was too hard for stakes, or improvising a bear hang because the campground didn’t have a bear proof locker for cyclists (get it together, Saltery). Part of me still feels like the kid who spends all her time reading, watching LOTR EE marathons, and making pizza at Panago for $6 an hour. I never grew up thinking of myself as athletic or woodsy, and compared to many people I'm not, but it's about time I realize I can do this on my own. And that I love it.

Day 8 began with a serene ferry ride to Earl's Cove. Out of the entire trip, I was the most nervous about the upcoming ride from Earl's to Sechelt. I knew it would be windy, narrow, and steep, and I didn’t want to end up schmucked on the side of the 101 because some yahoo hauling a yacht, four kayaks, and a dozen mountain bikes couldn't be bothered to slow down on a blind corner. But at this point I had 500km of experience, a bag of Sour Cherry Blasters, and my screaming pink cycling jersey to get through the day safely. It was relatively quiet early Wednesday morning, and the beautiful ride turned out to be one of my favourite sections.

I took a detour on Redrooffs Road after Half Moon Bay to get off the highway for a bit. It was scenic enough, but the elevation was stupid. I hadn’t walked Gavin up that many hills since Thetis Lake Regional Park. Things started to go downhill from there. Metaphorically of course, as the hills only went up.

Traffic volume started to increase at Sechelt, where I stopped for candy. The Cherry Blasters picked me right up, but not even a sugar rush can hold off eight days of fatigue indefinitely. The last few kilometers to Gibsons weren't exactly painful, but they were not pleasant. My faith in Google Maps’ elevation estimates might never recover. My bike chain was dry and squeaking, but I thought if I could just make it to my destination and offload my gear I could zip back into town and find a bike shop and get some lubricant. In reality, once I finally arrived at Mike's place, after 83km and over 1400m of elevation gain, I couldn't bring myself to take the hill down into Gibsons again. "Can olive oil work on bike chains" is not my proudest Google search, but weary, smelly, and perpetually damp cyclists are nothing if not humble. And the answer is no, not really, but olive oil is better than nothing.

Thankfully Persephone Brewing was within walking distance. My healing began with an order of spring rolls and a rye farmhouse ale.

That evening, as I settled in to my tent, I heard the soft whisper of my couch back at home. The call of the bahn mis at Chickpea that Brian said were amazing. The whinny of my stupidly sensitive horse on Red Dead Redemption 2 Online. The sweet yet powerful purr of Alley Cat, my gentle golden nugget. I was a two hour ride away from completing the biggest physical achievement of my life. A year ago running 5k was a stretch, and biking 11km to Richmond was a chore. I wanted to do an ambitious cycle tour to see if I could. And I can. There’s nothing particularly special about me, or most people, but that doesn’t have to stop us from getting shit done.

Day 9 was a quick ride down to the ferry, then a hilly ride through West Van on Marine Drive. Once I hit the Lions Gate Bridge, I knew I was home free.

Coming home after 9 days and 590km of a door-to-door solo cycle tour was incredibly satisfying.

Almost as satisfying as seeing my number one precious sweet potato again!

This sweet pup is my number two.

Maybe one day I’ll do a proper Google Maps route but this is the general idea.

Highlight(s): the views on Salt Spring, Sokka’s beautiful kitten face, the ride up from Nanaimo, the white sandy beaches at Savary, the peaceful ferry ride from Saltery, the surprisingly doable hills after Earl's Cove, the pics of my niece and nephew smiling on their first day back at school, the beers and food at Persephone, the moment I realized that I absolutely crushed every part of my ambitious plan. Lowlight: Thetis Lake Regional Park. Gold star: Gavin. This humble, unassuming, steel frame hybrid has been a true star, solid and dependable. I love this bike. I love what we can do together. Runner up: The weather. Almost perfect. Runner up: My legs. You know what you did.

#sunshinecoast #savaryisland #cycletour #cycletouring #camping #bc #british columbia #canada

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catwlw-archive · 7 years ago

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I was tagged by the wonderful @chapstick-in-my-pocket

Rules: answer 80ish questions and tag 20 people (lol we’ll see)

Last:

Drink: diet coke

Phone Call: um. the last phone call i’ve had? personally? according to my phone it was with my aunt on the eighth

Text Message: to my friend, we’re discussing a url and I just sent “That’s very true” and “It’s really cute” in separate messages but whatever

Time You Cried: really, really cried last night, watching the season finale of a show and watching certain characters face near death experiences and then being cliff-hangered until this fall :’) but i teared up earlier watching a youtube video

Kissed Someone and Regretted It: i don’t really regret kissing anyone. i mean. i only have one ex at the moment, and. if you asked me a few months ago, i would’ve been hellbent on how much i regretted that entire relationship, but i’m at some sort of peace with it now.

Been Cheated On: nah.

Lost Someone Special: um, i guess i’ve lost friends in the last few years? my ex broke up with me almost a year ago? my great-aunt passed away a year and some ago.

Been Depressed: a few years ago.

Gotten Drunk and Thrown Up: never, i’m underage and ain’t about that life tbh

Favourite Colours:

1. green

2. grey

3. black

In the Last Year Have You…:

Made New Friends: yes

Fallen Out of Love: yes

Laughed Until You Cried: of course

Found Out Someone Was Talking Behind Your Back: no? i don’t think so.

Met Someone Who Changed Your life: yeah

Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: yep

General Things and Stuff:

How Many Facebook Friends Do You Have: n/a, i don’t have a fb

Pets: 2

Ever Wanted to Change Your Name: nah, it’s pretty

What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: um. nothing fancy. went to school as normal. got a few gifts and some money. had cake. that was it, really.

Time You Woke Up Today: 7AM

What Were You Doing at Midnight Last Night: sleeping for once

What You Can’t Wait For: next week so i can finish exams and be done with high school (and then i can’t wait for the beginning of june to get everything officially completed in my college prep, and then july for orientation and my student starter kit, and then august first for my start date!!)

What Are You Listening to: currently the typing of my keys, whirring of my laptop, and ticking of three clocks in the room i’m in. music wise, i’m about to be playing my music on shuffle.

Ever Talked to a Person Named Tom: yeah

Something That Gets on Your Nerves: people watching you/knowing you’re about to do something and “”””joking”””” that you should be doing it

Most Visited Site: i’m not counting tumblr/gmail/youtube because i usually rely on the apps, but website wise would be my hs login page/my courses

Hair Colour: dirty/dishwater blonde that’s gotten darker (but isn’t quite light brown)

Long or Short Hair: it’s short right now

Crush: yes, i think. i’ve mentioned her a few times

What Do You Like About Yourself: my sincerity

Any Piercings: single piercings in my ears

Blood Type: tbh, no clue

Nicknames: i mean sadie’s technically a nickname but i claimed it myself and literally no one calls me it

Relationship Status: single

Sign: virgo (i’m on the borderline of virgo and libra)

Pronouns: she/her

Favourite Show on the Telly: i’ve suddenly realized this is british. uhhh, i really, really enjoy this is us

Tattoos: no. i was promised when i was like six or seven that my sixteenth birthday gift would be one, but we got poor lol. haven’t gotten it yet bc we’re still poor.

Left or Right Handed: right

Have You Ever Had Surgery: if you count removing tonsils, then yes

Do You Want Piercings: mm a second set of holes in my ears would be nice, or up on the cartilage edge (idk the names of piercings sorry)

Sports: lol no

Favourite Holiday: umm, don’t really have one. christmas and thanksgiving are nice because of the food, though,,

Trainers: british speak for trainers is like sneakers/tennis shoes, so uh?? yes i love sneakers and i wear regular tennis shoes sometimes??

Favourtie Dish: one of my favorite meals is pasta chicken salad so that

Favourite Drink: besides water (bc gotta stay hydrated even tho i suck at it), diet coke

About to Watch: a youtube video

What I’m Waiting For: a reply to an email i sent to a teacher

What I Want: besides sleep, to be happy and content

Do You Want to Get Married: possibly, idk

Career: i’m going to be going to school to be a teacher so!!

Which is Better:

Hugs or Kisses: hmm, i think i was asked this a lil while ago and i think i answered with both

Lips or Eyes: eyes

Shorter or Taller: personally taller but i wouldn’t mind shorter idk

Older or Younger: um i think older bc i’ve always been the younger but i wouldn’t mind either way as long as it’s not a big gap?

Arms or Stomach: arms

Troublemaker or Hesitant: i guess troublemaker because i’m generally hesitant and gotta have some variation yknow?

Have You Ever: no jk

Kissed a Stranger: nah

Drank Hard Liquor: nope

Turned Someone Down: yes?

Sex on a First Date: no

Broken Someone’s Heart: yeah

Had Your Heart Broken: yep

Experienced Love at First Sight: ehh, attraction, not love

Believed in Santa Clause: yes

Believe in Angels: yes

Miscellaneous:

Eye Colour: blue

Best Friend’s Name: gabby

Favourite Movie: the first movie that came to my mind was tangled because i remembered reblogging a post and tagging it with something like “if i ever don’t call tangled one of my favorite if not my favorite disney movie then something is wrong”

Favourite Actor/Actress: i don’t? really have one? i don’t think?

Favourite Cartoon: the last time i watched a cartoon was years ago and it was multiple and it was basically cartoon network every so often playing the amazing world of gumball, regular show, we bare bears and adventure time and i enjoyed all of them?? but i don’t think anything can really beat the classics tom and jerry and looney toons

Favourite Teacher’s Name: in the last four years (my hs), i’ve had really three favorite teachers - a spieker, vermaire, and a grondin. they have all been and will continue to be lovely teachers - and i also had a college instructor for a class earlier this year, and her name is elyse, and she was the absolute best. i miss her.

also tagging anyone who wants to do this lol!!

#tag game #sorry for clogging up your dash

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budapestalloveragain · 7 years ago

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my favs @lovelybenny and @omfgbts both tagged me in this 92 question tag (lol) soooo here we go (i’ll put a read more bc it’s hella long haha)

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST: 1. drink: coffee milkshake 2. phone call: with @bandlost 💕 3. text message: “okay goodnight !!!” 4. song you listened to: i’m listening to songs like as we go so i’ll just make a list bc i’m extra like that and i like these songs xD (wow you can really see how long it takes me to do tags lol) - don’t wanna fall in love by kyle - strip that down by liam (payne) feat. quavo - mask off by future - i need u by bts - 724148 by agust d - the last by agust d - hard carry by got7 - devil by super junior - so far away by agust d feat. suran (& jk) 5. time you cried: ummmmmmm i am not sure lol 6. dated someone twice: lol have i dated anyone once even ?? nooo 7. kissed someone and regretted it: once again... have i even kissed anyone... no... 8. been cheated on: see question 6 9. lost someone special: hmm i mean like death wise yes ? 10. been depressed: no...i don’t think so 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: lol i’m not legal yet (but that means nothing so no haha)

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 12. red 13. hmm hot pink maybe or pastel pink lol 14. some kind of blue ?? i’m really indecisive but also i like pale yellow i don’t know xD

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yes !!! 16. fallen out of love: where is the love to fall into though 17. laughed until you cried: probably lol 18. found out someone was talking about you: nopeee 19. met someone who changed you: yeah i guess !!! 20. found out who your friends are: nah not really not the way this question implies at least 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: see question 7 lol

GENERAL: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i think all of them except @thriftmom 🌸 🌺 🌼 23. do you have any pets: 2 kitties!!! 24. do you want to change your name: i used to want to ? i’m not so sure anymore (i wanted to change it to like natasha natalie or lily but tbh now i just put names on my baby name list lol) 25. what did you do for your last birthday: i went to nyc with my family ^-^ 26. what time did you wake up: like 7am and then i went back to sleep bc that’s too early and then i woke up at like 11am haha 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: mmm skyping with my cousin maybe ? or watching eat jin live haha 28. name something you can’t wait for: for bts to comeback and also to see them again if possible (we get it marlon yOU’RE GOING TO SEE GD) (jk ily and i’m so excited for you !!!!!) 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: about 2 minutes ago haha also she’s like 10 feet away from me 31. what are you listening to right now: see question 4 lol 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: probably haha 33. something that is getting on your nerves: collegeeeee r i p 34. most visited website: tumblr or youtube ? 35-37. lost questions????? lol i am confused 38. hair colour: it’s like ... .. so dark brown it’s almost black ? i guess ? 39. long or short hair: it used to be hella long but now it’s chin length ^-^ i like both (i’m kinda more partial to long hair but i always like it short when i have it short so idk really) 40. do you have a crush on someone: not really lol maybe some idols but like ...i still haven’t figured out if i like boys and/or girls etc etc etc sooooo yeah not really sure there 41. what do you like about yourself: yeah my hair usually ... my personality at times... idk really i hate talking about myself xD 42. piercings: noneee 43. blood type: o+ i think 44. nickname: sometimes 동생 or 언니 depending on which of my trashy ass friends i’m talking to lol nothing else really though 45. relationship status: single pringle 46. zodiac: libra 47. pronous: she/her 48. favourite tv show: bon voyage lol does that count also sister’s slam dunk s2 and parks and rec and gAME OF THRONES IS COMING BACK SOON OKAY LIKE (in reality i like a lot of shows but for now we’ll just go with that lol) 49. tattoos: not right now but you never know ! 50. right or left handed: righty 51. surgery: like have i had one ? bc no 52. piercing: lol see question 42 53. sport: dance ! and ultimate ^-^ i used to play soccer too and i had a short phase where i ran track (lol) + i kinda like gymnastics but like just on my own not competitively or anything 55. vacation: to the netherlands poland & the philippines to visit @lovelybenny @omfgbts and @bandlost also korea ofc and in real life i’m actually going to the uk on friday! 56. pair of trainers: i have nike but i wanna get pumas lol i am t r a s h MORE GENERAL 57. eating: does the milkshake count ? 58. drinking: sEE QUESTION 1 59. i’m about to: watch bon voyage s1 too lol (but not with pixie :( i wish) 61. waiting for: bts to come back lol alsoooo i’m working this summer !! so that 62. want: ...bts to come back... and got7... and to go to the svt concert... and to meet pixie loren & marlon ahhHHHHHH 63. get married: ye hopefully ? we’ll see 64. career: the amount of people that have asked me that in the past week i swear (i don’t know yet lol something international maybe) WHICH IS BETTER 65. hugs or kisses: hugs !! 66. lips or eyes: hmmm... usually eyes but some people have great lips lol 67. shorter or taller: i never understand this question lol like i am shorter than most ?? so taller i guess ?? 68. older or younger: see question 67 lol i guess older 70. nice arms or nice stomach: ...both are fine ? i guess stomach is more noticeable to me ? but really neither ??? 72. hook up or relationship: relationship but a quick hook up seems alright if you’re both down just like ...don’t be self destructive you know? 73. troublemaker or hesitant: i’m hesitant but idk if i want a troublemaker lol HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: sEE QUESTION 7 75. drank hard liquor: sEE QUESTION 11 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: no bc i have no contact lenses and if i lost my glasses i’d actually be blind haha (i have somehow almost walked out the door without them though lol idk how i did that) 77. turned someone down: technically no but like yeah lol (it’s called fuck: the saga; last year was wild lol) 78. sex on the first date: have i ever done that or would i do it ? no and who knows probably no though 79. broken someone’s heart: lol see question 77 probably not i think he got over it 80. had your heart broken: nooooo 81. been arrested: no (wHAT pixie pls tell me) 82. cried when someone died: yeah 83. fallen for a friend: uhh i mean i had a crush on a guy for 5 years and he’s just a friend now ? he was always kinda just a friend though if you think about it lol i don’t know xD DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: at times i guess 85. miracles: eh idk 86. love at first sight: with like 0.0000001% of the population maybe lol 87. santa claus: lol until i was like 13 and tbh a part of me still does 88. kiss on the first date: ic the time is right then yeah! 89. angels: that would be nice OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: pixie & marlon & loren & fiona & alexis the actual love of my life 💕 💕 💕 91. eye colour: brown brown brownnnnn 92. favourite movie: sound of music !!!!!

okay soooo let’s tag @champagnemagnus (omg your url changed i was scared for a sec) @thriftmom & @bandlost (marlon already tagged you but it’s whatever) - only if you want to though ! and ofc feel free to do it for fun even if i didn’t tag you ^-^

(lol it says tag 20 people that’s funny i can barely do 3 so we’re gonna ignore that part)

#my tags #that took forever fuck #i'm so slow xD #if each song is 3 minutes that's 9 songs so like half an hour almost wow what the fuck @me #so far away is such a good song wow can u believe #holy shit have i not downloaded jk jin and yoongi's version #what the fuck @me again #i'll do that now yikes #also 4 o'clock wHERE IS 4 O'CLOCK WHAT THE FUCK @ME ?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?

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jeonwhipped · 8 years ago

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The Arousing Nature of Shampoo Bottles

Pairing: Jihae (OC) & Jeongguk

Genre: slight smut, CRACK

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: Jihae now remembers why she never listens to Jeongguk.

A/N: HELLO!! After so many broken promises of “I swear I’ll get it done today!” IT’S DONE!

A/N 2: this is actually a repost bc i was on tumblr mobile like 2 minutes ago and it turns out the “delete” button is dangerously close to where my thumb scrolls WHOOPS

Prompt: “Omg u should write Crack where u slip while having shower sex ahhaha”

They were known as the Notorious Fuckers around the friend group, meaning that they were pretty nondiscriminatory when it came to exactly where to have sex. The bed was almost solely for sleeping, so they utilized every other space in their apartment to do the fucking do. This is mostly thanks to Jeongguk’s ridiculous sex drive and his openness to trying new things, and the only reason why Jihae goes along with him is because he’s a great fuck, and always ensures she finishes, too. They also have incredulous conversations during their time together: sometimes Jihae will tell her girlfriends about a wonderful epiphany she had the other day, and when they ask, “what brought this on?” she shamelessly admits riding Jeongguk’s dick, talking about every kind of philosophy there was.

When I say “nondiscriminatory,” I mean, like, actually everywhere. Against walls, on the floor, the kitchen counter (this one was Jihae’s personal favorite), pressed against the glass sliding door overlooking the city, in public, for fuck’s sake …. You get the idea.

But there was also one other place they never tainted.

The shower.

Now, there’s a reason for this, too. In addition to all the things that could go wrong in the shower, Jihae thought of it as a sanctuary - the same idea as a bed. It’s good to have at least one place in the house that’s untarnished, right?

But you’re about to witness one of the few times Jihae complies to his wishes and regrets her decision immensely.

Surprisingly, their schedules are aligned enough where they both leave at the same time in the morning (around 7am), and neither of them have to wait too long before the other returns in the evening, too. And what perfect way to save a few bucks on their water bill than to shower together in the morning?

Today was no different. After her alarm rudely disrupts her deep sleep, Jihae dragged herself and an equally groggy Jeongguk into the shower, where she turned the water temperature to scalding and sluggishly stripped naked, Jeongguk following suit. She then shuffles over to the sink, where she blindly fumbles for their toothbrushes (how she’s able to navigate the house with her myopia amazes her boyfriend) and shoves hers own into her mouth after she places a hefty amount of minty toothpaste.

“What did you dream about?” she asks, leaning against the glass wall of the shower. Condensation is slowly working inside the enclosure.

“Hmm,” he mumbles, rubbing the sleep from his eye. “That we all suspected Taehyungie was an alien trying to sabotage Earth. Like a spy. But when we went to perform some tests on him, it turned out that he was human. You think that means anything?”

She’s genuinely surprised at hearing this. “People aren’t always what they seem?”

“Or that Taehyung is hiding something,” he suggests, waggling his eyebrows. Noticing the growing humidity in the room, he opens the glass door and gestures her in. “Maybe he’s a bigger skank than the both of us combined.”

“Whaaaat, that’s practically impossible.” After he steps in with her, she swings the glass door shut. They both stand under the water for a few moments, continuing to brush their teeth. “Okay, maybe not impossible,” she admits, turning to face him again. “It could explain why he gets lost when you guys are traveling together. Or why he suddenly leaves the room sometimes.” She spits down the drain. “He comes back looking disheveled every once in awhile, no?”

“Are you suggesting he has secret hoes lurking in every corner of every building?” He laughs, mimicking Jihae to rid himself of the the built up saliva. He takes their toothbrushes and deposits them in the cup standing on the rack.

“Maybe! You never know,” she shrugs, suddenly reaching out to twist his nipple, earning a squeak from the male. “He’s probably the raunchiest of us all.”

“Topping us? No way. He probably has hoes, male and female, lined out his door. But in terms of raunchiness?” He returns her jab two-fold, sharply twisting her own breasts, one in each hand. “He’s no comparison to us. Which reminds me, actually.”

She slaps his hands away. “What.”

“Why haven’t we had sex in here before?” he asks nonchalantly, grabbing a shampoo bottle and squeezing the gel onto his hand. “Come ‘ere a sec.” Jihae takes a step closer to him so he can lather shampoo in her hair for her. “Think about it -”

“Because you’re getting a hard-on from the shampoo bottles, right? I know, Jeon. They’re enticing. But you must exercise self restraint.” Right as he opens his mouth to retort, she immediately cuts him off. “Look, I just think it’s nice to have one spot in the apartment where I haven’t sucked you off. Alright?”

He lathers the soap in her hair so much that it goes almost stiff molding her hair into silly shapes. “Then I’ll just eat you out until you come, like, thrice,” he giggles. Rising his hands from the soap, he grabs her apricot facial scrub from the soap stand.

“I think you missed my point.”

“Listen, noona. There’s many perks to shower sex. Close your eyes, please.” She obeys once he spreads the cleanser on her face. “One: it’d wake us up in the morning. You like being groggy in the morning, or what?”

Jihae’s sass is still sharp, even if his hands are all over her face and she can’t see anything. “I don’t like being crippled in the morning, thank you very much.”

Rolling his eyes, he gently guides her body into the water stream to rinse of her face first, then her hair. “You talk as if we’re gonna slip or something. Have some faith in me, will ya?” He uses his hands to wipe off the excess microbeads from her face. “Two: we’re already naked. Sure, it’d add probably another 20 minutes to our routine, but you’ve gotta admit, it’s pretty convenient. Turn, please.” She spins away, waiting for him to smooth conditioner through her long strands of hair. “And three: you always have a good time when you’re with me. What’ll be from all the other times?” He squeezes the conditioner onto his hand. “How about we try it out today?”

She almost gives herself whiplash turning her head around to glare at him skeptically. “Now?!”

Putting his fists to his face, he gives her the best aegyo he can without making her vomit, pouting his lips in the process. His eyes must have looked like a puppy’s, honestly. If this were an anime, he’d be gushing two-dimensional flowers right about now. “Please.”

Jihae narrows her eyes into slits, obliging. “Fine. Only if you promise me that if I don’t like it, then we must have table sex. Also if you stop your stupid rendition of moe.” She tosses one of her pinkies over her shoulder. “Deal?”

But even as he laces his pinkie with hers, murmurs “deal” near her ear, and plants a kiss just below her ear lobe, Jihae isn’t 100% convinced that this could end well. There’s so many things that could go wrong….but … fuck it, right? She trusts Jeongguk enough. Nothing terribly embarrassing happened during all the other times they had sex (well, excluding that time when they were getting frisky in their parked car, and Jihae accidentally leaned too far back and sat on the fucking horn for a few seconds, probably disturbing the entire complex), so, honestly, what could go wrong? Actually, don’t answer that.

“Hang on, Jeon,” she says, halting his trail of kisses by spinning around to face him fully again. “Fuck the foreplay this time.” Without warning, she wraps her hands around his neck, hops up, and folds her thighs over his waist. He barely has enough time to place his hand on her butt for support, and in surprise, walks forward until the cool tile is flush with her back, before she ground her groin against his.

“Oh my god, how long have you been hard!” Before he opens his mouth to respond, she jokes, “those damn shampoo bottles, isn't it.”

“Ugh, noona,” he complains, taking one hand off her bum to line his dick up with her entrance. “Keep talking and I’ll get soft again.”

She fucking cackles at this. “You were hard ever since you woke up. Now hurry u- ah -”

To put it simply, the stretch is a bit much. Maybe she shouldn’t have fucked the foreplay, honestly. Water wasn’t a great lubricant, either. But she thought she could do it - with how often they have sex? Like, Jeongguk should have been able to sheathe himself in her with no problem. AND had room to spare.

But she overestimated her capabilities, much to her dismay. As soon as he pushes forward just a centimeter, the friction became unbearable, and she holds flings her hands out to brace against his massive shoulders. “S-sorry. I - it hurts. I miscalculated. Bad judgement. I’m sorry. I should have just -”

“Let me eat you out, right?” he finishes, then smiles a shit-eating grin. “It’s not too late -”

“No, no,” she cuts off. “Too much extra work and positioning. Can you - can you just talk dirty to me or something? Maybe the juices will start flowin’.”

“Of course.” He clears his throat and looks her dead in the eye with a seriously sultry expression. “With a great dick comes great responsibility.”

Oh.

My.

Fucking.

God.

“Did you just use a pick-up line on me?”

His incredulous look is incredulous. “What! You said -”

“I know what I said. But - god. Never mind!” she whines. “Put me down. You’re no help! I’ll just finish by myself.”

“What!” He’s so surprised that he accidentally leans forward entering Jihae even further. It feels like she’s being ripping in two, it hurts so much. Although he immediately apologizes when he sees her wince, he’s still disgruntled by how their sexy time turned out. “But I always let you finish, Jihae-noona!” He pouts a very convincing pout. “Don’t do this to me.”

“I don’t want to touch your dick right now. Slip out, damn you.”

He runs a frustrated hand through his wet hair but doesn’t budge, even as Jihae squirms in every which way. “What are you even going to get off to?! I’m right here, for fuck’s sake!”

“You want honesty?” She taunts, stilling. “I could come right here and right now with just the thought of Park Jimin, with his newest dance routine in a blindfold -” For emphasis, she clenched around the few centimeters inside of her, making Jeongguk splutter. “And his recently dyed black hair -” she closes her eyes and scrunches her face like she’s about to cry. “True art,” she weeps, a few tears escaping from the corner of her eyes.

“Oh my god, you’re actually crying. Over a boy who doesn’t even know you exist! I’m out.”

But Jeongguk forgot that the only thing keeping Jihae suspended was himself, and the wall behind her. So when he removes his hands from her butt and steps back completely (and slipping out of her, too), it takes all but half a second for . . .

“FUCKING HELL!” she yelps as she crashes ass first onto the wet porcelain floor with nothing to break the impact.

And Jeongguk’s actually like struck with how irresponsible he is. You had ONE job, kiddo, but look what you did.

Sadly, though, the only person Jihae has to be angry at is herself. Whatever possessed her to actually listen to Jeon Jeongguk has only made the most plausible outcome a reality. What was she expecting? Something romantic and hot?

Thank the fucking lord he has enough tact to shut the water off, sweep her up bridal style from the ground, kick the shower door open, and seat her on the sink. After retrieving her towel and gently drying her and himself off, he hauls her over his shoulder, stalks over to the bedroom, and lays her down easily, supporting her head as it meets the pillow.

“I’ll call the school today,” he murmurs, tucking the blankets over her naked body. “Tell them that you -”

“Fractured my dignity?”

He smiles apologetically down at her. “I’m sorry, Noona. I’m sorry for dropping you.” Kneeling on the floor, he digs under the covers until he finds one of her hands with both of his, squeezing it reassuringly. After leaning down and kissing the lump created by their intertwined hands, he asks, “How can I make it up to you?”

Her response is immediate. “Table sex after I’m able to walk. I think I genuinely busted my ass, Jeon.” She roll to the other side of the bed to make room for him, wincing all the while. “And if we go the fuck back to sleep, please.”

Without hesitation, he flings the covers up and quickly slips under them, arms wrapping around her frame and pulling her back to his chest. After placing a delicate peck on her temple, he mutters, “I just wish you slipped on my dick instead -”

Too worn out to even glare at the male, Jihae opts to ignore the remark and slowly closes her eyes instead. “That’s the last time I’m listening to you and your goddamn ideas.”

Jeongguk’s nose crashes into the nape of her neck and nuzzles it. “Even if I suggest table sex?”

After a beat of silence, she sighs, “You are so lucky you’re a good fuck,” but opted out of adding on to her sentence, “excluding the scene we had just four minutes ago.”

a/n: thank u for taking time to read this mess lmao. have a gr8 day lovelies

#writing #jungkook #jungkook scenario #jungkook fic #jeongguk #jeongguk scenario #jeongguk fic #crackfic #i had ten whole notes before it got deleted so lets see how many more i can get #i guess???#should i tag this as bts??

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flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash · 8 years ago

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113 and 149!

113. What was your childhood nickname?

My high school nickname was actually Toni, and only my old high school friends still call me that, the couple times a year that I get to see them. It was actually a bit of a process, to arrive at that nickname. My name is Ashton, and at first, way back when, I was called Ashtonio by my friends for a while. Then that shortened to Tonio, and then finally to Toni, and Toni stuck.

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Oh lort, do I ever. Idk if I’d call them ghosts, more spirits. I actually told the long, creepy ass experience I had at my old Philly apartment involving a spirit(s) back around Halloween, but will gladly tell it again. Settle in for a long ass story, if you care enough to read it :P *putting a keep reading bar bc this is a long one*

So I lived in a really old, big apartment with 2 roommates for 2 years (I moved out about a year and a half ago) and we all 3 are CONVINCED we had at least one ghost in our apartment. Like…so much weird shit happened. The first week we moved in, our gas stove turned on 3 mornings in a row…by itself. Like, we all woke up to the smell of gas in the apartment, and went out to find the one knob had been pushed in and turned over. And we would randomly lose stuff, and then it would pop up in the most random places (a candle, a dish towel, random papers).

My one roommate is a huge believer in spirits, I’m in the middle (I believe in them, but am not super connected to them like she is) and my other roommate was a huge skeptic. Well, by the end of the 2 years we all firmly believed in this ghost(s). We had all wooden floors in the apartment, and my believer roommate was the first one to tell us that when she was home alone, she would hear footsteps going up and down the long hallway we had that connected the bedrooms to the living room. And we were on the top floor, so it wasn’t anyone walking above us. And we didn’t share any walls with any neighbors, since the only other apartment on our floor was separated from our apartment by the staircase. She also said she heard my bedroom door shut the one day, but I, nor anyone else except her, was home. She also had a pitbull, who would randomly stare at the corner of the hallway and bark, as well as one time she stared at the top ceiling corner in my bedroom, which was the bedroom closest to the hallway, and barked (and this dog NEVER barked at anything; like, a burgler could’ve came in and she would’ve just sat there silently and watched). I was semi skeptical, but also believed her, so was cautious when I was home alone.

After the first couple months, I started hearing shit too. I would be home alone, with the dog and cat sleeping beside me on the couch, and would distinctly hear footsteps going down the hall. Once I even swore I heard the front door open, so I yelled to see which roommate had returned. When no one answered, I got up to look, and there was no one there. And the dog had also heard it and ran to look, thinking someone was home. When I texted both my roommates, neither one was anywhere near the apartment. It freaked me the hell out, because the footsteps especially happened fairly often when I was home alone, to the point where I almost became used to them, in a weird way. I think having the pets there really helped me from peeing my pants on the regular.

WELL, the scariest moment, for me, was during our first Christmas break in the apartment. We were all three grad students at the time, so were able to go home over break. I had come back first, 2 days after Christmas, and it was just me and my one cat at that point who were in the apartment. My believer roommate was coming back the next day, and the skeptic roommate wasn’t coming back for another week. It was late at night, and I was in my bedroom, in bed, derping around on my laptop, with my cat at the foot of the bed. And all of a sudden, I heard someone walking around in the living room, which was on the other side of the wall from my bedroom. Like, it legit sounded like a man pacing back and forth across the living room, shuffling papers (I’m getting chills just typing this). I froze, and looked at my cat, who had woken from a dead sleep, jumped off the bed, went to my doorway, and he was staring down the hallway at the living room all freaked out and puffed up. So I KNEW that he had heard it too. I legit was convinced that someone had broken into the apartment, and I grabbed my field hockey stick and phone, ready to dial 911.

I crept down the hall, but the noise had stopped. And when I finally was brave enough to jump around the corner into the living room…there was no one there. Both our front and back doors were still bolted, and we lived on the 4th floor, so no one had crawled in a window. I then stood in the middle of the living room and looked down at my cat like, “WTF just happened?” And at that moment, every single hair on my body stood up, and I just had this overwhelming sensation that I wasn’t alone in the room, and that someone/something was standing in the room, watching me. It sent so much fear through me that I literally sprinted down the hall to my bedroom, and my cat ran down the hall after me, as well. We went into the bedroom, I closed and bolted my door, turned off the lights, and crawled under the covers.

I then texted my believer roommate, and at that point I was legit crying, I was so scared, and told her what had happened. She had always told me that when I felt like there were spirits nearby, to say out loud, “There’s a white light surrounding me” and envision it, so that the spirits would stay away (her grandmother was like a shaman of sorts and all into spirit stuff, and had taught her that). So I laid there and repeated it over and over until I finally fell asleep. But dear god, that was the scariest thing ever.

My skeptic roommate thought both of us were crazy, and she firmly didn’t believe in the ghost…for about 8 months. She was always the one to say out loud, “I don’t believe in you” and she kinda taunted it/them, because she thought it/they were fake. Well…she got quite the experience. There was a day where I woke up late, around like 10am, and when I came out of my bedroom, she accosted me and asked if I had been awake around 7am and if I had gone into her bedroom. I was like wtf no, I was asleep. And our other roommate had been at her boyfriend’s for the night, so she wasn’t home. My roommate was so scared, she wouldn’t even tell me what had happened for almost an entire 24 hours. Finally, she admitted that she had gotten up really early to write a research paper for class. She said that around 7am she pushed her chair back from her desk (it was a wooden chair with no wheels) and went to the bathroom. She said when she came back, that the chair was turned exactly 180 degrees, facing away from the desk. She then ALSO told me that she had woken up in the middle of the night around like 2 or 3am, and wasn’t sure what had woken her, because usually she sleeps like the dead. She was laying there and said she distinctly heard a child’s laugh come from the middle of her bedroom. That, coupled with the chair turn the next morning, freaked her out so much, and since that day, she was switched into a believer about there being at least one ghost in the apartment.

However, all my experiences were with a spirit that seemed to be an adult male, not a child. I even had a friend who’s really in touch with spirits spend the night at our apartment, and she said she woke up in the middle of the night and swore she saw the shadow outline of a man standing in the living room doorway (that connected to the hallway) looking at her. And my roommate’s one friend, who also is into spirits, said that she kept seeing movement out of the corner of her eye in our apartment, and said it looked like a man. And both these people we NEVER told about us thinking we had a ghost, because we didn’t want to look crazy. And yet they both said they saw a man, and it was always around the living room/hallway area. I don’t know if it was a man spirit and also a child spirit (maybe the kid was the one stealing stuff and who turned on the stove when we moved in).

But also….something else weird, that I didn’t think about until after we had moved out….when we first had moved into this apartment, we cleaned the whole place, top to bottom. I was in charge of cleaning out the 2 huge hallway closets we had. The top shelf was super high, and I had to get a step ladder to reach it. Since I’m a bit OCD, I felt like I needed to clean even that top shelf, so I remember climbing up there and finding random trash and shit…and I also found an old black and white military picture of a young man…I remember showing it to my roommates and thinking that was a weird thing for someone to leave behind, and neither I nor my ex-roommates can remember what we did with that picture, even to this day. It might sound crazy, but part of me swears it’s the man whose spirit stuck around our apartment. But I could be wrong. It’s just weird to me that most of the experiences seemed to happen in the hallway that connected the living room to my bedroom, and that’s where the closet with the picture was.

Sorry long ass answer :P

Put a Number in my Ask

#tstieff

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birdsofchristmas · 5 years ago

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Chapter 1: The Lamp

Our story starts off in a more humble climate than others you may have heard, moreso than Manhatten, suburban chicago, the North Pole or a giant department store. The camera starts at my feet and pans upwards to a sign reading “East Hastings” in Vancouver’s iconic Downtown Eastside, revealing the Carnegie Hall in the background.

My first apartment in Vancouver is just around the corner on Cordova & Princess. Down the street in Gastown is the first restaurant I took a job doing dishes at, during my first Christmas in Vancouver. Incidentally, this would end up being the last house I lived in while I still had both my feet.

Not long after I moved to this interesting winter wonderland shared with cockroaches, rats, traffic noise, lineups towards a soup kitchen, and the occasional flooded basement a doctor said my right foot had had enough. My poor foot had done it’s best to support me for years after a childhood accident and it was time to send it to foot heaven. I wondered if foot heaven was the same as cat heaven, which is where my mom said my brown cat went to after it fell out of a 2 story window.

It shouldn’t be too surprising my right limb and I had to part ways- honestly I’m surprised it hadn’t gone sooner, or that it wasn’t joined by another appendage. You would be too if you’d seen some of the crazy winter antics my dad and my two brothers and sister got upto each year around december.

One year in the 90s saw our family cross country skiing when a blizzard brought the entire city of Nanaimo to a standstill. The marsh is perfectly safe, it’s frozen over he would say as we coasted confidently onto its icy surface. Or the time my dad tied a GT Racer sled to the trailer hitch of his 15 passenger van towing it on the backroads of mount benson, only stopping when he would notice the sled veering off towards a ditch.

Not long after losing the foot I also lost the apartment I was living in while trying against my sister’s advice to carry on as if things were normal.

At the time the housing crisis in Vancouver was in full swing, and when most folks weren’t either ice skating down on Robson or taking in the German Christmas market they were looking for a place to live for January.

They like me had done the best with the apartment they had- they had put plastic over their heritage windows to cut down on the BC hydro bill, they had placed the Christmas tree in front of the large hole in the drywall the last tenants had left, they had poured nearly half a bottle of pine extract into their scent diffusers to cover up the cigarette smell in the hallway, they had set up all manner of elaborate rat traps to avoid being contaminated by the plague, they had insisted to the landlord that, yes, those dark looking spots under the sink are black mold, all the while dreaming of finding a more ideal living situation.

To put it simply, it’s difficult trying to find one of these rumored nice apartments, much less trying to do so with only one foot, hopping from one viewing to the next trying to outrun the rest of the marathon of young professionals in search of the holy grails of affordable living.

At last I resigned, calling my parents half a month before Christmas to tell them about my housing woes. Well, just come home for the season, my dad said on the phone, it’ll just be for a few months until your foot man or whatever you call him makes you a new leg and you’ll be walking again in no time! Really, it’s what you should done in the first place, come home and we’ll take care of you.

So on to the ferry I went with a backpack containing a modestly redacted version of my life in Vancouver, the rest of it residing in a friend’s garage for the winter. I was trying not to slip and fall with my single blundstone and crutches, somehow avoiding the 3 ferry sailing waits that would transpire in the days to follow.

As luck would have it I arrived just in time to help my mom set up her elaborate Christmas village- arranged with a stunning eye for detail and careful planning- most towns and cities in Canada would have a hard time comparing to the structural engineering marvel and ease of traffic infrastructure my mom had created.

There was hardly ever a traffic jam in “The Winter village of Avonlea”, and the crime rate was next to zero. “Over here we’ll put the post office, and across the way we’ll place the butcher adjacent to the bakery” she would instruct me, “so the postman will save time gathering groceries on his way home from work, and we’ll place the city hall on the corner of Bedford Halls Lane and Bing Boulevard.”

Oh and don’t get me started on the tree decorations. My dad was allowed to pick the tree out, and that was the full extent of his involvement. Every year it became the host to a multitude of angels, small wooden sleds, doves, owls, pigeons, even the occasional crow. There were glass spheres coated with gold, silver, and platinum. Snowglobes snowed every day of the week, lords leaping and ladies dancing in circles all the way to the shining pinnacle on top of the tree. Some years it was another larger angel, other years a star, one year it was curiously a picture of elvis.

When it came to Christmas decorating my mom was the queen of the ice castle. My dad was self-decidedly in charge of creating our seasonal chaos scenarios to prepare us for adulthood, while my mom was in charge of everything inside the house. You dared not alter the carefully planned set up in any way lest you awaken the demon Krampus.

That was about 6 years ago, and of course things have changed since then. I now have 4 legs instead of only 1. I have my actual leg, my brand new prosthetic leg, and a climbing leg and a running leg. You have every leg you’ll need to carry out a great bank heist, my sister-in-law joked. I would need to I figured in order to continue paying for them. All said and done the price of a leg is pretty well comparable to a brand new honda accord.

After a harrowing few years of recovering and moving back to Vancouver, going from one house to the next, and I was finally in a moderately stable fairly well priced townhouse. It was Christmas again and this year I was heading to the ferry to see my mom and dad who still lived on the island. I had a smaller backpack this time as well as a curiously shaped duffel bag with a surprise for mom. Looking at the bag you might think it was a pile of field hockey sticks, or a set of broken golf clubs. In reality it was one of my retired legs, refashioned with a black fishnet stocking, a black high heel and a detachable light and lampshape.

You see every few years the legs wear down and they need to be replaced. like a ford car or an apple computer these things don’t last long, even with casual use. Once they’re retired they make a surprisingly great basis for all kinds of creative art sculptures. Thus was born a beautiful lamp centerpiece to my mom’s carefully thought out Christmas decoration extravaganza, which I had assumed she would love.

Arriving at the house I almost slipped on every icy step to the front door. The sandpaper I’d nailed to the stairs when I first moved home had worn down from repeated use. It didn’t help I was half blinded by a recently updated series of LED lights surrounding every tree, shrub, corner of the house, and window. Even the snowpeople couldn’t escape the maniacal creeping LED vines.

The house inside was decorated equally as elaborately with little left to the imagination. I hugged my mom and dad, carefully moving my body in twists and turns to avoid knocking any of the holiday flourishes over, like those weird people you see in grocery stores who try to sneak past you without touching you or making eye contact.

Since all the siblings have moved away home and founded small Christmas-minded colonies of their own my mom had gotten even more carried away with the decorations, making you feel like you were stepping into a densely forested North Pole mock up in a department store. She loved it, Dad appreciated it, and the grandkids were only allowed in with careful supervision.

“Well mom, I brought you a gift for your decorations” I said with a laugh opening the bag. I pulled out the awful, gloriously gaudy leg dressed in holiday cheer, in my mind a beautiful iconic recollection of the great holiday movies of old. I traipsed through the dense menagerie of holiday decorations and gingerly placed the lamp in the picture window, fully in view from the sidewalk.

Plugging it in the light sprung to life with a soft brownish glow emitted by an edison style bulb. My mom’s face was aghast at first, as if she had seen jacob marley ascending the staircase towards her room covered in chains.

Her expression then softened up a little bit and she said with a smile “Oh dear, that’s awful… just terrible”. My dad was laughing as he walked to the kitchen and back with 2 cans of Wildcat in hand. I pulled off my leg for the night and we sat under the glow of the lamp, the tree, the village, the decorations, and the christmas hearth log on channel 3 and talked cheerfully until I fell asleep on the couch.

The next morning I woke up at instinctively at 7am to see the morning sunrise reflect off Mount Benson and reached for my leg.

Now, one thing you might not realize about putting on a prosthetic leg is there’s a process to it, like putting together a desk from Ikea. It starts with either a polyurethane or silicone liner you roll onto your leg, followed by a gel sock covered in fabric or a few layers of wool socks before putting on the leg itself, in my case followed by rolling on another silicone sleeve that attaches the prosthetic to the rest of my leg holding it all together.

I stood up and walked towards the kitchen for a coffee, as I did I noticed something was off in the living room. The lampshade was missing. In its place in the reflection of the picture window I saw a red and white cylinder shape that ascended into a curve. While I was sleeping my mom had replaced my prosthetic leg lamp with a candy cane, and the lamp was nowhere to be found. “Hey Mom”, I shouted upstairs, “my lamp! Where did you put it?” “It’s in the trash out by the the curb” she shouted back, “out front.”

Just then a sanitation truck was pulling up beside the bins on the front sidewalk. One of the bins was overflowing with a familiar looking piece of footwear sticking out prominently from one side. It was my new $35,000 prosthetic leg with a brown leather blundstone still attached to it, being lifted up towards the crusher.

I lept for the door and ran down the stairs slipping on the icy porch! “ hey wait!” I shouted, “my foot!!!” As I ran my right foot was snagged by a lights cord and I fell flat onto my face in the snow, then snapped back. By the time I reached the sanitation worker he was laughing and he said, “hey, what’s with the fishnet?” I looked down, and adorned on my right side was the bottom half of the leg lamp I’d made for my mom, complete with a fishnet stocking, a black high heel, and a long brown extension cord.

By some weird twist of fate she confused the two and had thrown my good leg in the trash in a careless effort to rid her house of my hilariously ironic gift! I had tripped face first into the snow because the leg lamp was still plugged in!

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adamroper · 7 years ago

Text

A Christmas Foot, Chapter 1: The Lamp

Not long after losing the foot I also lost the apartment I was living in while trying against my sister’s advice to carry on as if things were normal.

You see every few years the legs wear down and they need to be replaced. like a ford car or an apple computer these things don't last long, even with casual use. Once they’re retired they make a surprisingly great basis for all kinds of creative art sculptures. Thus was born a beautiful lamp centerpiece to my mom’s carefully thought out Christmas decoration extravaganza, which I had assumed she would love.

Her expression then softened up a little bit and she said with a smile “Oh dear, that’s awful... just terrible”. My dad was laughing as he walked to the kitchen and back with 2 cans of Wildcat in hand. I pulled off my leg for the night and we sat under the glow of the lamp, the tree, the village, the decorations, and the christmas hearth log on channel 3 and talked cheerfully until I fell asleep on the couch.

The next morning I woke up at instinctively at 7am to see the morning sunrise reflect off Mount Benson and reached for my leg.

Now, one thing you might not realize about putting on a prosthetic leg is there's a process to it, like putting together a desk from Ikea. It starts with either a polyurethane or silicone liner you roll onto your leg, followed by a gel sock covered in fabric or a few layers of wool socks before putting on the leg itself, in my case followed by rolling on another silicone sleeve that attaches the prosthetic to the rest of my leg holding it all together.

#a christmas foot #christmas stories #Christmas

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illnameitlast-blog · 7 years ago

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OMG it��s been more than a week since I’ve started this personal project.

I’m going to retry calling as much as I can remember up to today.. 9/11/2017. Might not finish.

the original plan for that Thursday was to connect two friends in the music industry at 2, clothing photo shoot w a Postmates driver, L, who I quickly befriended at work (a cafe in Brentwood) at 5, and then around 8pm I was going to sleep over at a coworker’s house so that she could bleach and re-color my hair.

..here’s what really happened.

I woke up somewhat early, maybe around 9:30/10am. Currently my long-time high school friend Kristine is going to move in with me into the small studio I live in. Her lease ends the last day of August, & that’s today, Thursday. The night before, my friend Taylor said last-minute she needed a place to couch surf after all & will be putting her room up for Airbnb. [Taylor lives in a master bedroom by herself in a large apartment right next to The Grove. The last time I saw her a few months ago I told her I would be down to move in with her and she agreed it would be cool. We agreed she’d Airbnb her room for extra money for September, while I saved rent money to move in with her in October.]

I walked less than 10 minutes to get a bunch of breakfast for myself. I’m talking about pancakes, toast, eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, and sausage. When I come back, I eat about 3/4 of what I ordered and eat half of an acid-laced sour patch kid, roughly equivalent to half a tab (I’d like to think). It’s about 12:30.

Alright, now I need to start getting ready as fast as possible before the acid hits. First I talk to house owners Danny & Tara about Taylor moving into the studio with Kristine & I. A little unsure at first, they eventually agree. I go back to getting ready.

The acid doesn’t hit until about an hour later, when I’m about to leave for my 2pm froyo meeting with friends Yael & Josephine. After getting Pressed Juicery’s matcha “froyo” w almond butter, pineapple, & extra pineapple, we walk withYael to some place she knows of where we can hang out. We’re on Abbot Kinney and arrive at the TOMS store. As you walk in, there’s a coffee bar. Past it, a seating area with tables on the right side and shoes for sale on display on the left side. Past THAT, you go down a few stairs onto grass turf with tall, stair-like seating all against the right side with a couple tables & chairs on the floor against the wall across the entrance of area. We all sit & talk for a bit, where I find out that Yael will be at the Anaheim House of Blues the next day, Friday, where I’ll also be to support a friend’s band that’ll be performing. We agree to try to see each other the next night. Around 3:30/4, we leave to walk back towards our cars. On our way back, we pass the Wheel of Fortune that seems to be some type of known landmark? I spin the wheel, first getting WISDOM but then it quickly switched over to FUN. currently, I do not disagree. maybe later in life I might.

I get back to my car. right before meeting Yael & Josephine, L texted me asking to rain check the photo shoot. since I was free & I knew Kristine needed some help bringing things to my place, I decide to go over to her apartment in Westwood. when I get there, I’m feeling amazing. I had just linked two amazing people in the music industry and that was the first meeting I’d ever scheduled. I was ecstatic! earlier in my day I had come up w the idea that instead of Taylor putting her room up for Airbnb, Kristine & I could just move in instead. I was going to move in October anyways. I needed to check with Kristine first, & she was for it. So I called Taylor & told her my idea. Taylor loved it! In the span of about a 5 minute phone call, we were moving to West Hollywood. Because of that I was also able to help another one of my friends that was looking for a place to stay for the month of September! ***side note about the weather, during my phone conversation with said friend, that was the day when there was like, apocalyptic weather going on, where it was very warm & humid, but pretty windy & even started raining at some points during the day. I say this because I was observing the weather from the open window at the moment*** during my time there I created this tumblr on impulse. eventually Kristine’s roommate finally left for home & it was just the two of us. it was starting to get late & nothing had been put away in the car yet. WE NEEDED TO BE OUT & DONE BY SUNRISE.

I start packing things in the car. We need to start moving. Once we finished, we drove to Kristine’s home home, about 1:15 hour drive away. We got back to the apartment around 4am I believe. I’ve never mentally pushed myself that hard before, I was so freaking EXHAUSTED moving everything to the car while Kristine cleaned, back & forth, from the 3rd floor (but thankfully had an elevator). We didn’t finish til 7am. I ordered food around 7:30 for pickup on my way home.

I leave Kristine around 8am. She’ll meet me at my place for food & a shower soon. I get home, scarf my breakfast sandwich down, eyes-closed, hoping to simulate resting. As soon as I finish I hop in the shower right away. I get ready, tell Kristine how to lock up, then leave. I go to work from 10am-6:30pm.

I’m EXHAUSTED. I magically make it on time. Work is rough. After about an hour, I use the bathroom & check my messages for anything important. Tara is very upset about Kristine leaving her burrito leftovers & the dog got to it, after just telling me the other day to make sure the rules about food in the studio were known. I don’t have time to reply, so I just go back to work & go back to cutting the watermelon up for juice, since we didn’t have any ready. I’m extremely stressed at that point & start tearing up. My coworker/big brother figure Isa sees me, takes over, & sends me to the bathroom. I’m crying. The only 2 bathroom stalls are occupied. I’m crying. A woman on the phone walks into the bathroom & is in line now. I’m still crying. One of the shift leaders Val comes in, hugs me, & takes me to the office in the back. She’s had enough breakdowns to know what was happening with me & I’m thankful for the care she showed me. FINALLY, I’m done crying. I go back to work, feeling better, and finish the rest of my shift.

As soon as I clock out, I change outfits & head to the House of Blues Anaheim to see birthday! I saw birthday @ SXSW earlier that year, where I also met the frontman, Duran. Although I was DEAD & exhausted, I had this show in my calendar for about 2 months, had told them I would be going the same day they announced it, & refused to flake on them. Their last show I’d missed their set, but I’m so glad I saw this one. The energy was amazing, & it made me want to introduce him to Yael even more for potential booking purposes. Unfortunately, Yael was in a different room than me & couldn’t leave, since she was there as Production Assistant for the show. After birthday’s set, Duran & I catch up a little & watch a few songs of the next opener. It was very interesting.

Duran says there’s a band he wants to see in a different room & is going to find the stage hand to see if we’d be able to go check it out. The guy gives us two shiny pink wristbands & we head outside towards the entrance to the Foundation Room. This is the room Yael is in! I’m STOKED. We go past the door, it’s immediately an elevator. Take the elevator to the 2nd floor. Exit, walk across the catwalk above/between the stage downstairs & the ramp entrance to the room I saw birthday perform in.

We enter the room, which is in the shape of a rotunda. Very nice. Duran is standing behind my shoulder. I ask the girl at the front desk if we just walk in.

Girl: “Do you have tickets for the show?”

Me: *shows wristbands*

Girl: “Oh! You’re a member?”

Me: *quick pause of hesitation* ... “Yes! :D”

Girl: “Would you like a glass of champagne?”

Me: “If you would like to pour it for me, thank you so much!!!”

Duran & I walk in, both holding a glass of champagne. Eventually I introduce Yael & Duran to each other. Towards the end of that show I run into Alexa / Plexxaglass! Shortly after, Duran & I dipped. we went back to the first room we were in. He gets me backstage, into the green room. I help the boys put away their things to leave. In the next room over, Bro Safari is playing.. & Duran has 4 tickets. It’s about 11:30pm. As much as I really wanted to go, I knew I couldn’t let myself, unless I wanted to LITERALLY die of exhaustion. Also, I worked the next day 8am-4:30pm. Duran offers to walk me to my car, except we actually literally walk down the ramps instead of take the stairs to the floor I needed lol. Long story short, I lost my car, we looked for it for about 20 minutes including one of the other boys in the group, then found it on the floor beneath the floor we were looking all over.

I get into my car, & check my messages. Turns out my friend had moved into the studio already, meaning to me that I couldn’t sleep over there that night. Kristine was at her old apartment where her friends had moved into, but there was no furniture yet meaning there was only hardwood floor to sleep on. Taylor’s place wasn’t an option yet, as she was still cleaning her stuff for us to move in. On my way to Anaheim I’d seen a sign to Riverside & thought about sleeping over @ my best guy friend’s house. Except he’s in Vegas for the weekend. I didn’t wanna go back home home to Rancho/Fontana bc that was way farther than Riv & I know I was already so tired.. So I texted my coworker Bekah, who was supposed to color my hair the other day, to see if I could sleep over for the night. I got to her place at about 1. Her cute ass bought me granola bars & milk in case if I wanted cereal in the morning. (’: We talked a bit, drank wine in bed, then I FINALLY passed out. I woke up the next morning, left around 7:30, and there was ash on my car bc apparently that day there was a fire nearby. Nature is being hella crazy as of lately.

#acid

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