#also i just love how luke and lorelai are on opposite sides

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

I Am All In Rewatch - Jess & Rory - Episode 3x8 (Part 1)

[ I know Luke is all like he is trying to be very like strict and tough, but I think I just based off of like what I can tell so far, he's such he loves Rory and Jess together. Am I the only one thinking that? Like he's always smiling and he's always just like...] He's tickled pink....I think he also probably feels it gives him a better shot with Lorelai. There's more chances for them to connect and to discuss things, and you know, it's it's it brings those two closer together as well. 

But I think that the stakes have raised, they have gone up considerably because if there's any kind of conflict between Rory and Jess, there's going to be conflict. There's going to be misunderstanding conflict between Luke and Lorelai. So it's a it's a smart writer's move, it's a smart plot move here, um. But it does raise the stakes that there is. It enhances the risk. It's a it's a it's a risk on trade, as they say in Wall Street. -Scott

[natailiatulls07]

Oblivious Love

Max Verstappen x Female!reader

Summary - Y/n, Max and their oblivious love for eachother

Warning - Breakup, crying

A/n - Not doing a part 2 sorry xx

Some notes for context -

Small town au

Max owns a diner

Y/n owns a small inn

Inspired by Lorelai Gilmore and Luke Danes, the best couple ever in my opinion

-

Y/n was sat at the counter of the diner, talking no rambling. She did this often esperically around her bestfriend, Max Verstappen, who owned said diner. He was stood on the other side of the counter, fixing up coffees for a couple to the side of Y/n.

Of course he was listening in on her rambling, she was talking about some customers who had stayed at her inn. You see Max and Y/n were drastic opposites but thats what made them work well together.

She was high energy, coffee loving and approachable whilst he was blunt, private and grounded. Many wondered how he opened a diner in the first place. "So yeah and when they checked out, they gave me a basket of chocolates for the team and you know I though that was really sweet because like no one does that ever. It's a nice change. Oh and it had my fav-"

The rambling was cut short but a deep and direct voice. "Will you marry me?" Y/n's eyes snapped up from her coffee, they were widened and confused.

"What?" She secretly hoped this was real and he was being serious. Max Verstappen never made jokes so why start now?

The man shrugged his shoulders, giving his bestfriend a plain look. "Just looking for something to shut you up" Max didn't notice how her shoulders deflated, as if she was waiting for something excited. He also hoped that what he said was real but why would a cheerful women girl like Y/n be interested in him?

-

It was a Saturday morning, alike every other Saturday Y/n and her close friend, Nora were sat at their usual spots at the diners counter. They were eating Maxs new breakfast dish. "Mmm I need some sauce..." Nora remarked before setting down her knife and fork, and moving round the counter to where the sauce were stored.

"What have I said about the counter Nora?" Maxs loud and annoyed voice spun the women around, frantic to hold up her hands. Max doesn't like any going behind the counter for anything, unless you work at the diner.

"I know but-" He didn't give her a chance to explain before ushering her out.

"The counter is a sacred space, my sacred space. You don't do yoga on a dalai lama's mat and you don't come behind my counter. Period." He declared, Nora didn't fight him now. Just rushing back around the counter to her seat beside Y/n.

~

Y/n and Nora were about to leave the diner, they had a girl day planned out. But before they left, Y/n made her way round to Maxs side of the counter to collect a extra donut for herself.

She was about to pick up the sugary treat but Max handed her a pair of tongs. "Here, don't use your hand" And with a polite smile, Y/n took the tongs and got herself a donut.

Nora watched on from the door of the diner, everyone knew that behind was a sacred space for Max but he allowed Y/n back there. All because he loves her, and she could murder before he'd lose that soft spot for her.

-

It was a small town, everyone knew everyones gossip and what was going on. So naturally everyone knew about Y/n's date, and they all sympathize Max. The two bestfriend were so oblivious in love with eachother but neither could seem to see it.

After closing the diner that evening, Max started to walk to his apartment when across the road he heard a familiar laugh. Y/n's laugh. The common frown on his face grew to a warm loving smile. Only to fade when he saw her laughing and kissing another guy, louis Smith. The owner of the towns car garage.

Max knew he shouldn't feel possessive or jealous, Y/n wasn't his to claim, but he couldn't help it.

-

"Fuck louis is working, c-can somebody tell me the damn number of the cab guy? p-please" Y/n's mother was in hospital, and it scared her. She had lost her father at a very young age, she couldn't lost her mother as well.

The inn owner was at the diner when she got the call and now she was panicking. Her prize winning smile no longer on her face, now replaced with a frown and frantic breaths.

"I'll drive you." Max spoke up over her panic but was met with Y/n shaking her head.

Gesturing to the other customers and the food in the diner. "But there's food and there's people, Max I can't-" He stopped her before guiding the customers in the diner to move out there quickly as possible. All customers complying straight away cause they knew if anyone delayed this for Y/n, Max would not be happy.

"Okay everyone out, we're closed. Let's go, foods on me" And with the all customers were out and Max was leading Y/n, with an arm around her waist, to the back of the diner to his car.

-

Every so often, Victoria Verstappen would come to visit the small town her older brother. She was fond of the small cosy town, they allowed Max to get away from their demanding father and live his own life. Every single time, she'd visit she would bring up the dreading topic of love with her brother.

You see Victoria was married and was already a mother, she wanted the same for her brother and she knew all about Y/n. "There's no deal with Y/n, we're friends" Max would always try and defend himself.

"For now" His younger sister would snap back, she knew something was going on.

Max just shook his head, he knew about her relationship with Louis and wanted to be respectful for her sake. "Yes...anyways she has a boyfriend" He didn't pick up on the disappointment in his voice but Victoria did.

"And in the future?"

This caught out her brother, part of him was hoping Y/n would break up with Louis and get with him but the other part of him was unsure. "Well Y/n, she's just um I mean it seems like...I don't know" She completely stumped him.

-

It was a quite day in the diner, it was a Monday morning it was expected by Max. But what was unusual was Y/n's absence, it was 8am. She'd be onto her second coffee already but she was here.

Max was pulled out of his daydream when Nora called his name. She had just got off the phone. "Hey Max?" She had a worried face but there was a hint of a small smile hiding underneath the frown.

"Yeah?" The man answered, concerned. What happened? Did something happen to Y/n? Is that why she wasn't here?

Nora took a deep breath before continuing. "You heard the latest news right? Kind of sad for Y/n and Louis" So it was about Y/n, what happened? And Louis? I mean he could care less about the car garage owner but Y/n, he needed to know now.

Shaking his head, he allowed Nora to continue. "They broke up" That small smile was a little bit more seen on Noras face. Max just nodded, an uncontrollable grin took place of his scowl concerned.

Max just picked up the now filled coffee pot and start to walk to each and every customer offering free coffee. "Everyone's coffee is on the house today! I like you hat" Nora sat back in her seat shaking her head and smiling knowingly.

-

It had been a few weeks since the breakup and everything had gone back to normal. Y/n and Nora were sat at one of the table at Maxs diner, gossip as usual. They were both watching Max work around the diner.

"He never flirts with any one, did you notice that?" Y/n tilted her head to the side, confused at his lack of flirting. In her mind, there were plenty of people in town that would happily date her bestfriend.

Nora turned to her friend as if she the most stupid thing in existance. "That's because he flirts with you numerous times a day" To which Y/n just waved her off, muttering about how she was seeing things.

-

Y/n was going through a hard part of her life at the moment. Lot's of her staff at the inn were handing the notices and moving out of town, wanting to see the world and wanting the big and the best. So this meant that operating the inn was hard and alot of work for Y/n.

She didn't mean to break down in front of Max whilst he was closing the diner, it just happened. He saw the tears welling and falling from her eyes, he sat the two of them down on the floor. Hugging her close to his chest so that she could hear his heartbeat.

"I'm failing...I'm failing..." Her broken and uneven voice admitted to him. Y/n felt his body shake as he shook his head.

Oh how he disagreed with her. "You are not failing" Her inn was the best place to stay in town and the town was visited often by tourist, Max was sure she'd be perfectly fine.

"I don't know what to do..." Max just rubbed her back and smooth down her hair where it was slightly messing from when she was stressing and playing with it.

"It's okay..." He whispered. They'd both be lying if they said that they din't love this close proximity with eachother. Y/n could smell his cologne and it comforted her so much.

-

5am

Every morning at 5am, like clock work, Max would arrive at the diner to set and open up ready for official opening at 6am. Usually this meant that the entire would still be asleep and Max would be alone, just how he liked it. So when he went to the front entrance of the dinner this morning he was unexpectedly met with an excited and hyper Y/n. "What are you doing?" He asked his bestfriend.

Y/n just smiled up at him. "I need coffee" She annouced like he should've known that.

He just frowned his eyebrows at the coffee loving women. "It's five in the morning, make coffee at your own house?" Max suggested confused, he only got more confused when she shook her head, giggling cheekily.

"I did, I drank it all!" The way she annouced indicated to Max that she was sort of proud of herself for drinking all the coffee in her house.

Times like this made Max realise why he was in love with her. She was so unpredicable and excitable. "You drank all the coffee in your house before five in the morning?" His mouth hung open, not only was he confused about the amount of coffee she had but by the fact that Y/n L/n was not a morning person.

Nodding proudly, Y/n continued. "Big gulps, lots of sugar!" Then she felt herself being picked up by the armpits to stand by Max before he directed her into the diner giggling and rambling more to him. "And just a little bit of cream cause it makes it cold"

-

Town meetings. Every single monday night at 7pm. Something Max despised. Why? Because in his opinion it was boring and a waste of his time. But this evening, Kevin the annoying 'town president' had asked Max to attend so he did. Straight away Max spotted Y/n sat at the back of the room picking at a small bag of m&ms happily and that's where he was going to sit.

Turns out his presence at the meeting was because the town wanted to talk about his and Y/n friendship and how everyone wanted them to get together already. Kevin had barely got through the first page of his stupid powerpoint when Max got up and stomped angerily to the front of the room.

"This is my friendship. Mine. Not yours" He pointed at Cath, the dance teacher. "Not yours!" He pointed to Kevin, who was red in th face. "Yours" A soft smile broke out onto Maxs face as he points to Y/n in the back who was nodding proudly still eating her m&ms. "Not yours" Maxs smile was gone again. Pointing to Linda, the towns florist.

He stopped pointing but didn't finish his small speech. "Mine and hers but not any of yours" His eyes then looked to Y/ns and locked together. And they both had the same thought.

'Maybe she does like me like that...'

'Maybe he does like me like that...'

-

[kaitycole]

I'll help by sending one! How about Iwa or Kuroo having to take care of a sick or injured s/o, please? Thank you! Ily!

I saw the 'or' and raised you both lol I hope you enjoy!

Kuroo (when you are sick)

Let’s be real

This man treasures you above all, so he probably notices you’re feeling a bit off before you even register it

Dr. Kuroo is on the job (I could see him asking you to call him that jokingly and then becoming a flustered mess when you actually do)

Has the ‘YN sick starter kit’ on the ready

It has your fave sick day snacks, trashy magazines, the best tasting cough drops (Halls Breezers, fyi), etc

Definitely went to the store and picked you up a new plushy to cuddle with for when he’s can’t be in bed next to you

Let’s you borrow that one hoodie he swore he never would to help you stay warm if you have the chills (totally lets you have it after you get better)

Chances are he’s taken time off from work to stay at home with you the entire duration of your sickness

If he can’t (slim chance but still) he sets you up like Rory did to Lorelai after her break-up with Luke, placing everything you need within arm’s reach from things you’ll definitely need to things you might but probably won’t need

Asks Kenma to game with you (Kenma loves you so he’d do it without Kuroo asking) since being in bed is super boring

He’s also told the whole Nekoma group chat so they will periodically send you memes/funny videos to keep you entertained

You are loved by many

There’s nothing that you couldn’t ask him for while you’re sick in bed, hot from a fever, voice a little raspy, Kuroo would get you the moon if you’d get better faster

He hates seeing you anything more than your vibrant self, part of him probably feels like he could’ve done something to prevent this

If only he hadn’t been too tired to dry your hair last week or if he’d double checked you took your vitamins will plague his thoughts

But you conquer those thoughts when you look up at him, eyes barely open from being so exhausted, nose stuffy and say, “Tetsu, cuddles please.”

Zero hesitation on his part, he will hop right in next to you, letting you bury your face into his chest, to hell with getting sick

Let’s you put on your favorite movie that you will quote entirely and will want to watch at least two more times within the next 24 hours without complaining

If you thought Kuroo Tetsuro treated you like royalty when you weren’t sick, strap in because somehow he treats you better than royalty when you are sick

And if you ask him why, he’ll tell you that it’s because the best thing to ever happen to his life deserves to be treated as such

Bonus

Kuroo definitely gets sick

Will definitely whine about being sick, the whole it’s a cold but acting like his leg was cut off

But secretly doesn’t mind the throbbing headache or body aches because you’re taking care of him

Because you look at him with such soft eyes as you lay a wet cloth on his forehead, lazily dragging your fingertips across his cheek, enjoying the coolness of your touch against his feverish skin

Iwaizumi (when you’ve gotten injured)

“Hajime, you’re gonna laugh”

He definitely did not laugh

Busted into the ER like a man on a mission where you’re his target

You had been walking down some stairs outside your work and slipped, nothing major so said the doctor

But to Iwa is it major, the love of life is hurt and he wasn’t there to protect them

Even though the doctor (and he himself knows) the injury isn’t that serious, he treats you like you’re in a body cast

Has pillows in the living room to prop your leg up if you wanna lay on the couch

Has pillows ready on the bed if that’s where you’d prefer to rest and elevate the ankle

Also has your favorite blanket ready to cover you up

If you’re cuddling, he contorts his body in the weirdest way to make sure you have max comfort and he doesn’t accidentally hit your ankle

Will do the above even if he’s laying on the opposite side of your injury, he swears it’s just to be safe

Sets you up with everything you’ll need within arm’s reach

Gets you whatever you want to eat, read, drink, etc

You want that brand of soda that’s two stops from your apartment? He’s already out the door

Kinda wanna try that candy Oikawa brought back from Argentina? He’s already called the setter and told him to bring some over

Will try to cook your favorite meals even if he never has before (probably won’t end well but you appreciate the effort)

A total pro at RICE (rest, ice, compression, elevation) for obvious reasons, but it feels different applying those methods to an injury on you

Has a timer set for when ice goes on and come off, when you need to take painkillers if needed

Wraps your ankle flawlessly and with a soothing gentle touch

Suddenly you feel a brief twinge of jealousy to those who also experienced Iwa’s skills

Becomes a helicopter parent essentially

Rushes over to you when you try to get up or telling you to sit that he’d do it

You saw him browsing online for a cane for you to use, but gave up on the idea when you swore you’d move out if he did

Tries to get you to rest longer, but you feel perfectly fine and to be fair, you’re ready to get back to freely moving around

Will definitely make you lay down so he can do stretches to not just your previously injured ankle but your other one as well, in hopes it will prevent future injuries

It becomes a pre-bed routine that you both do various stretches (get your heads out of the gutter, tsk tsk)

Bonus

If he ever gets injured, he will do one of the following two

One: Tell you that he can “simply walk it off”

You simply have too much on your plate to bother with him (You are never too busy to care for him)

Two: Be a totally baby and act helpless, like babe you jammed your finger, get up

Because he adores when you dote on him, the way you use the most careful touches to soothe his pain and how you scrunch your nose up when your wrapping technique doesn’t look like he’s would

[maddiwrites]

The Hybrid (Prologue)

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Summary: The Pogues rekindle their friendship with their old childhood best friend and JJ’s first crush, Y/N. Old feelings resurface for JJ and Y/N, possibly leading to a summer neither one of them could ever forget. Due to past trauma, Y/N is reluctant to let anyone into her heart, but JJ never backs down from a challenge, even if he knows it will come back to haunt him in the end.

Note: So happy to be back with another series!!! I honestly really missed posting. Unlike Secrets of the Shore, updates will be slower because I don’t have them all written out yet. A couple things I wanted to let you know before you read. I based Y/N’s family off of Gilmore Girls. I thought they were the perfect fit for this story and the show in general and I just love their dynamic. (Including Luke who I renamed Steve for obvious reasons). Chapter 1 will explain more obviously but I wanted to give you guys a little snippet of the characters and relationships. So let me know what y'all think!

Word Count: 3.3k

Outer Banks. Paradise on Earth. It's the sort of place where you either have two jobs or two houses. Two tribes, one island. As you know, the Outer Banks is essentially divided into two groups. If we want to be blunt - it’s the rich and the poor. Figure Eight is home to the rich. Aka the Kooks. With houses bigger than necessary with extra rooms that go untouched, boats the size of homes on the Cut - the other side of the island. Most people who live on Figure Eight are your naturally raised assholes. People who don’t know the value of a dollar and take advantage of people who do most of their dirty work that lets them prance around the island with perfectly manicured fingernails. These hard workers are the Pogues. They live on the south side of the island where most Kooks wouldn’t be found dead. They serve fancy meals at the country club for shitty tips, mow lawns, and work their asses off at any other job for minimum wage. The drastic difference in lifestyles tend to cause many spats and arguments between the two communities. Especially between the teenagers who still don’t know how to control their raging emotions or know when to bite back their tongue. For the Kooks, every fight is a fight for dominance where as the Pogues fight for equality - to put the Kooks in their place. Many of these fights happen at summer parties where the two groups clash to find a good time with their friends filled with alcohol, drugs, and good music.

That’s where they find themselves tonight. The infamous Pogues. John B, JJ, Kie, Pope, and now Sarah Cameron. Although born a natural Kook, she’s earned her spot next to the adventurous teens and her boyfriend. Unlike her brother Rafe who basically is the leader of his notorious group. Topper and Kelce are his best friends who follow him blindly.

The Pogues watch them from their spot surrounding the keg. Kie purses her lips in distaste as the boys cat call for the ladies around them. Somehow most of them finding it flattering. Sarah sips on her beer to hide her embarrassment, often wondering how she and her brother grew up to be so different. Pope and John B stay mostly disinterested, only worried if they try to make a pass at an unwilling girl or fire a degrading comment at their short tempered friend. JJ Maybank is known around the island for his trouble making behavior. Usually if he gets in trouble for fights, no one ever asks who the other people were in the scuffle. Because if JJ Maybank is in the fight, he’s the one who started it, right? Wrong. In fact, JJ usually is never the one to start it. He’s good at keeping his head down and only speaking when spoken to when it comes to the Kooks - the only form of advice worth taking from his father. But his short temper is something the Kooks his age loved to take advantage of because they liked getting a rise out of him. It was like an adrenaline rush.

Luckily, tonight both groups were keeping their distance, either only talking to each other or random Tourons that have found their way to the party. This is usually JJ’s favorite part of a boneyard party. Finding his one fish in a sea of many that he can reel in just for the night and never have to worry about seeing them again.

He has his eyes set on a beautiful blonde making her way to the bonfire when all of a sudden Kie’s voice pulls him out of his trance.

“What’s she doing here?”

JJ follows her line of vision, spotting you walking down the wooden steps that lead to the beach, pulling your best friend behind you by his wrist. He first notices your smile and how it brightens up your entire face. Then of course his eyes scan down your slim but athletically toned body. You’re wearing a pair of jean shorts and a cropped white T shirt that says UNC across the chest. Who knew someone could look so good without even trying?

Well JJ did. He’s known it for a while.

“Careful. I think you’re drooling,” John B whispers in his best friend’s ear.

JJ pushes him away and mutters, “Shut up. No I’m not.”

But maybe he was.

Y/N Y/L/N is a unique resident of the island. Unlike majority of the island, she doesn’t fall in either Kook or Pogue category. She’s what everyone calls the Hybrid.

People who work hard for what they have but haven’t fallen to be Pogue status. Quite literally living in the middle in a place they call the Crest.

Your story is well versed among the gossipers of the island (which tends to be just about everybody).  And mainly that’s because of who your grandparents are.  Claude and Doris Y/L/N. Two of the riches people on the island, living in a three story house on the beach. Many people fear them, others envy them. Most feel both. Even Ward Cameron walks on egg shells around them, which is quite often, considering he works for Claude. They’re the kind of people who have never heard of Barefoot wine or Walmart. They keep their noses up and turn a blind eye to the suffering communities around them. Thirty four years ago, Doris gave birth to a daughter that couldn’t be more opposite than them. Lorelai Y/L/N was a wild child. A rule breaker. She snuck out at nights, dated boys her parents would never approve of, dabbled in breaking the law here and there. It didn’t matter how many times her parents disciplined her. She always managed to make her parents’ life a living hell. 

No one was surprised when word got passed around that Lorelai had gotten pregnant at eighteen. Although it was with another Kook, she brought shame upon her family name when she refused to get an abortion, even when her mom tried dragging her by her hair. 

Lorelai risked everything by running away from her parents’ home in the middle of a windy night. With only one suitcase, the baby daddy out of the picture, and less than a grand in her pocket, she managed to make a life for herself on the South side of the island. She worked two jobs, found an affordable apartment for cheap rent, and managed to save some money before her babies were born.

Yes, babies. As in more than one. Five months after running away from home, she gave birth to twin girls and they instantly became her entire life. With the help of her best friend Steve, who she met one month after being on her own, meeting him at his automotive shop when she very much literally rolled her junky car into the garage, she raised you and your sister on the Cut. The two of you are her greatest accomplishment. Every now and then, she mentally throws up a middle finger to everybody who doubted her, proud of who the two of you have become. 

Right before you turned ten, your mom took a business risk and opened her own Cafe. The Bikini Beans cafe, very popular amongst both Kooks and Pogues. The business did so well that she was able to move the three of you out of your shitty apartment into a beautiful one story home with three bedrooms in between the Cut and Figure Eight, aka the Crest, the summer going into your freshman year.

You actually used to be best friends with John B Routledge, JJ Maybank, and Pope Heyward. It was easier being friends with them than the girls, finding more joy in sports and rough housing than makeup and gossip. 

Doing the same summer that you moved, your mom pulled you out of Kildare County High and placed you in Outer Banks Private Academy. Aka Kook Academy. Around this time, your grandparents had also become more involved in your life, and you wondered if they had somehow bribed your mom into forcing you to transfer schools. You tried asking her during one of your many fights that started with you begging her to keep you at Kildare County High, but she quickly shut you down and told you to be grateful. That was ironic coming from the woman who ran away from the people giving her an expensive high school career. 

You had no choice but to do what your grandparents wanted and attend Kook Academy. Making friends was a lot harder there than it was in Kildare County High. You managed to make one friend in your freshman year. Andre Cortez. Due to an incident a couple years back, you built thick walls and Andre was the only one able to break them down. You were grateful for your friendship, but hanging out with him was nothing like hanging out with the Pogues. 

When you transferred schools, you lost touch with the Pogues slowly. Your life became busy with school and playing dress up for your grandparents and the boys were starting to work. Eventually all contact was cut and ever since, you’ve felt a void in your heart.

“Look,” You tell Andre. “I told you I would be your wing woman and I’m not backing down from what could possibly be the most important role in my life.”

You didn’t notice the Pogues or any of the stares around you. It’s true you’re not much of a party girl. I mean, you’ll go out here and there, have a drink or two, but you felt more comfortable at places where you weren’t surrounded by drunk and horny teenagers. 

“He’s probably not even here,” Andre says. He’s trying to look nonchalant but you notice the way his eyes dance from face to face of the people around him. 

“He told you he was going to be here, right?” You ask him with one brow raised. Andre nods. “Then, we’ll find him.”

Sarah and Kie never made any effort to talk to you at school, but to be fair, neither have you. You’ve heard mixed reviews, some people call them spoiled brats, ungrateful...some even go as far as calling them ‘The Cut Sluts.’ Of course you never take any of those things to heart. You can’t judge a book but it's cover. Plus, they’re friends with your old best friends. They can’t be that bad for John B and JJ and Pope to be hanging out with them, right?

“You think she'll come over here?” Kie asks. No one’s ever said it out loud, but her friends wonder if deep down, Kie was a little jealous of you. Because you were their first real girl friend. You were the first girl they ever let in and opened their heart too. That was a tough pill for Kie to swallow when she originally thought she was that girl. Of course the boys don’t like you any more than Kie and vice versa. But sometimes Kie wishes she could have grown up with the boys the same way you had. 

“Probably not. Unless she’s drinking,” Pope says and motions towards the keg they’re near. 

“I have an idea,” John B says and fills up a red solo cup. He hands it to JJ. “Why don’t you go offer her a cup.”

JJ snags the cup out of John B’s hand and glares at him. “Fuck off, dude.” 

“Do you guys ever see her around at school?” Pope asks the girls.

Sarah shrugs. “Not really. She doesn’t really get a long with my old group of friends.”

Kie rolls her eyes. “No one gets along with your old group of friends.”

Sarah playfully shoves Kie by the shoulder and they laugh. 

“I heard she turned down Raymond Easterling a couple weeks ago and he didn’t take it very well,” Pope says, remembering the words he heard from the kids in his class roaming the school hallways. 

Raymond goes to Kildcare County High with the Pogues. He’s known to be a trouble maker and a class clown. He works with JJ at the country club. The kid can make JJ laugh sometimes, but he wouldn’t necessarily say he likes him all that much. He can be an arrogant asshole with an ego bigger than it should be.

“She turns down everybody,” Sarah says. “Some people at my school call her ‘The Heart Sucker’ because she can pull people in with the snap of her fingers and break their heart just as quickly.”

Something stirred in the pit of JJ’s stomach.

“Hey! Where you going?” John B calls out to JJ who’s making his way deeper into the sea of people on the beach. 

“Taking advantage of a good boneyard party, my friend,” JJ calls back and slugs the rest of his beer. Looking left and right, he searches for the blonde he had eyes on earlier. Because right now, he needed a distraction. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

The party starts to die down a little after midnight. Some people leave to find another party, some are passed out in the back of their cars, and others had already found what they were looking for - someone to leave with. 

The boneyard party wasn’t as bad as you expected it to be. You had found a couple of kids from your school who were nice enough to make small talk with you while Andre left to find a guy named Devon, a Touron he’s been talking to who’s renting for the entire summer. 

Now you’re waiting for Andre to come back so the two of you can walk home. You find comfort under a slanted palm tree towards the back of the beach, scrolling through random apps on your phone to pass the time.

“Y/N?” You look up from you phone and smile when you see your former best friend inching closer to you, squinting in the dark to see if it’s really you. 

“Maybank? What are you still doing here?” You stand up and pat the sand off your hands on you thighs. 

Your heart skips a beat in your chest when you look at him. He’s beautiful. Lucious blonde hair, perfectly tanned skin, piercing blue eyes. You always knew JJ was going to grow up to be gorgeous. He was cute when he was younger. At least you always thought so. 

“I was just leaving, but I thought I saw you sitting here and wanted to make sure you were all right.” He knows it’s not like you to stay this late at a party, especially all by yourself. When he first saw you sitting there, he didn’t know if he should say something. Mostly due to nerves of seeing you again. But the other Pogues had already left and he didn’t trust anyone else at the party to be near you alone late at night. It didn’t matter if you were sober or not. 

“Aw. Was JJ Maybank worried about me?” You tease. Talking to him felt easy. As if you never stopped being friends. A few years ago, you and JJ had the best banter. Despite constantly bickering back and forth, John B always swore the two of you would get married one day. The two of you just always clicked like a natural connection. And even now, when only seeing each other every now and then for a few minutes at a time, it felt normal. You smirk when JJ rolls his eyes. “I’m kidding. Yeah, I’m okay. Just waiting for my friend to come back from his little rendezvous,” You say. 

JJ nods. “Did you have a good time? I feel like I never you see at these things.”

“Yeah. Parties aren’t really my thing. But Andre was nervous to meet this guy he’s been talking to for a little while so I came for moral support.”

“Looks like he didn’t need much of the support.”

You shrug. “It’s better that way, anyway. I don’t mind waiting for him. What about you?”

“What about me?” 

“Did you have a good time tonight? I hear your quite the ladies’ man at these things.”

“Come on, Sparky. You know better than to believe everything you hear.”

Your face lights up at the mention of your old nickname. You use to always be busting out the seams with energy. On days where the boys just wanted to chill and play video games, you would drag them to the park for a game of kick ball. Or when they wanted to sleep in after a long week, you showed up at 8 am to drag them out of bed to catch the morning waves. So one day JJ started calling you Sparky, and it stuck with the rest of your little gang. You always pretended to hate it, but secretly you loved it. 

“Oh I don’t believe everything I hear. I do, however, believe what I see. And your arm around that tall blonde in the little black dress looked quite convincing.”

You first saw JJ at the party when he was making his way to the pretty girl by the water. Your teeth involuntarily clenched and there was a twisted feeling in your stomach you couldn’t shake whenever you looked at them. 

In that instant, JJ felt grateful for the dark sky. He felt the rush of heat rise up his neck to his cheeks before he could stop it. He knew the motivation to see that girl was because of you. He just wished you never saw it. But he didn’t know why. 

“I walked her home. She wasn’t my type,” JJ plays it off. 

“I didn’t realize you had a type,” You giggle, but a small part felt relieved to hear this. “So what is it? Your type?”

Hybrids with a Pogue attitude, bright smile, beautiful eyes, and a mouth that could make any sailor turn around, JJ thought. 

“I don’t know. Haven’t figured it out yet.”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Well, when you figure it out let me know.”

“Why? So you can transform into my ideal girl?” He teases.

Now you’re the one thankful for the dark sky. “In your dreams, Maybank. But so far, I do have the perfect wing-woman track record, so if you needed help -”

“I don’t think I need any help in that department. Thank you very much.”

You throw your hands up in fake surrender. “Ooo. Touchy subject.”

JJ rolls his eyes at the same time your phone pings with a text message. You pull it out of your shorts pocket and open the text from Andre, telling you to leave without him because he’s gonna stay out late with Devon and won’t know what time he’s going to be done.

“Everything all right?” JJ says, watching you read the message.

You lock your phone and stuff it in your back pocket again. “Like I said. Perfect wing-woman track record.”

“That was Andre?” 

“Yeah. He’s most likely not coming home tonight.”

“Lucky bastard.”

“At least one of us is,” You joke. 

JJ’s grin slightly falters but you don’t catch it. You have no idea how much he wishes the two of you could be equally as lucky. Together. 

“Well, I should probably go,” You say and bend down to grab your flip flops.

“Let me walk you home,” JJ offers. 

“Oh no. It’s okay -”

“You’re cute. It’s wasn’t up for debate. I’m not letting you walk back by yourself.”

You scoff lightly. “I’ll be fine.”

“Just humor me.”

You roll your eyes and smirk but choose not to argue. In fact, you’re excited to spend more time with JJ. It’s been so long.

“Fine.”

“And here I thought you might’ve grown out of your stubborn phase by now.”

You shove him playfully by the shoulder. “Shut up!”

And just like that, it felt like old times.

[anxiouspotatorants]

heyy first off im obsessed w your account and the underdog quartet but also i feel like, with your new jess/paris playlist post, we need to acknowledge paris and jess’s first interaction when paris went into luke’s diner in “Richard goes to stars hollow” they had a very subtle interaction but he was clearly memorable enough to her to remember him and his name. I wonder if whenever paris when to stars hollow in the future she would look for jess what do you think

Thank you so much for this ask and the kind words!!! I’m obviously obsessed with UQ too, so finding more people who love that dynamic is just amazing!

Also yes we only had about two direct interactions between Paris and Jess but holy shit was the platonic chemistry there!! Paris bothering to remember him is something I would love to take as a sign that she was a Jess gal (especially since if you combine that with Keiko Agena saying she and Lane are team Jess, that means all my faves support my ship!)

Now for Jess and Paris specifically, I could honestly give you three different types of answers for this. First is that ASP and company didn’t feel like exploring that dynamic, so Paris probably doesn’t think about Jess or seek him out in the future, especially not after Rory’s break up. But that take is boring so let’s go for wild headcanons!

The second approach is on the more realistic side. I bet that Paris would avoid bringing up Jess every time he popped into her mind in front of Rory, but she would be too desperate to finally have that decent conversationalist to not bug Rory about him. She probably wouldn’t head over to Stars Hollow of her own accord considering how disappointed she was with the research results for that article, but she would ask about when Jess could come over to Hartford so she could rip his literary takes to shreds at a nearby cafe or at the elder Gilmores. Once Jess and Rory were a couple, Paris would double down on her requests but probably only have them met once or twice (Jess has work, Rory still has a tendency to compartmentalize parts of her life etc.). Post-breakup Paris would take Rory’s side, but secretly be sad to see a potential friend go. She probably felt like this guys really could be something, not just for Rory who seemed to finally get decent taste in boys, but for Paris who was finally starting to get more true friends. She carries a secret team Jess torch for the rest of the series but hides it in general criticism of any and all guys Rory is involved with.

On to approach three, aka balls to the walls whatever I want!! Hold on to your hat because this will be a long and windy ride:

After the diner-meet, Paris is intrigued by the guy who played along with her interrogation and eye-flirted with Rory. She doesn’t think she’ll see him again, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t want to.

After the dinner at Rory’s, Paris is honestly elated to finally have a great literary conversation with a guy her age. The only one to have come close is Rory, and that doesn’t say much for the «opposite sex» in Paris’ eyes. But she’s also furiously disagreeing with Jess’ «Austen loves Bukowski»-take, so she writes a whole several page argumentative essay and forces Rory to deliver it to Jess the next school day.

Jess responds not with a letter, but by having Rory hand Paris an annotated («blasphemy!») copy of a Bukowski work. There are no arguments from Jess notes, just underlines of quotes he thinks Austen would approve of, and excerpts from different Austen works put in the margins for comparison. Paris despises him for how much she is seeing his point.

At some point Rory get’s sick of being a carrier pigeon and drags Paris with her to ST after school so the two can fight in person. All three stay until Lorelai pops over for dinner, and Paris realizes she needs to haul herself over to the bus. She’s hungry and worried about the time she should have spent on homework, but ultimately really happy about the day.

She’s bummed to see Jess go after the car accident, but doesn’t have much time to think about it between school and… well, school. She does end up being one of the few Rory can talk to about Jess without getting the whole «bad bad boy»-speech she gets over in ST and at her grandparents’.

Rory doesn’t tell Paris Jess is back until the very end of their Washington trip when Paris finds the unfinished letter and Paris is boiling. She does cool quickly, but only to constantly bug Rory about when the three of them are going to meet up again for coffee and verbal war. Rory gets so stressed about it that at some point she gives Paris the number to Luke’s and tells her to go on her own for all Rory cares.

Paris does. Jess is surprised, but they get in the groove quick. What doesn’t go as smoothly is Paris asking what the hell is going on between him and Rory. His non-answers pretty much spell everything out, and in a rare moment of comradery, Paris decides to turn the conversation in to hating on Dean. Jess appreciates it. It doesn’t happen again, but Paris firmly puts herself in the team Jess camp from then on.

Paris is releived once Jess and Rory finally are together and it is great! More cafe talks! Study sessions! Movie nights! They even sneak both Paris and Lane out into concerts! Paris feels like for the first time in a very long time, she has real friends her own age. The kind who actually like you for you and want to spend time with you for you, not just to get better grades or a better reputation.

Paris sucks at being strong for Rory when Jess leaves. Like, she takes it really personal. This was supposed to be the one good guy, and he decided to be just like everyone else. But with time she learns to coach Rory into speaking her mind about the whole thing, and to support her in her own Paris-y way.

What she doesn’t tell Rory is that at some point after summer break (either because she gets hold of Jess for some scolding or because Lane does and spills to Paris or even if Jess gets in touch himself) Jess starts sending Paris beat up books he collects on the road around the country. None of them feature letters (at first), but annotations at the beginning declaring his safety and momentary location, as well as his general style annotations of the book inside the text. Paris starts responding with letters, and with time they start talking on phones and through email.

Paris helps Jess with his GED. They make it an equal study-buddy thing because Paris needs help taking certain writers seriously in her essays. Most of their sessions are over the phone, and a lot of it is just them daring each other to actually try. Paris gets actual stars on her improved essays, and Jess passes with flying colours.

Paris doesn’t know about Truncheon until Jess stands in front of her place ages later, dressed like a Kids Bop version of himself and holding a messengerbag with his debut novel. Paris tears through it in two hours (forcing Jess to sit on the couch next to her the whole time) and then spends another half hour furiously trying to tear it to shreds but actually praising it. She gives him their first hug ever, and hopes this afternoon is a sign they’ll slowly get back to being close friends in person.

Paris sucks at hiding how team Jess she is. So. Much. She does have genuine critiques of Logan and other guys, but her gut-defenses of Jess at random times in the day and weird reminiscing back to the «good old days» of diner talk after school gives her away immediately. Rory is uncomfortable, but Paris doesn’t even change her mind after Rory still picks Logan.

What she does do is invite Jess over for grown up evenings with Doyle. Whenever Rory is scheduled to be out and Jess needs to visit Luke anyway, Paris extends her invitation. They test wines based on price and taste, watch cult classics, eat takeout (in honour of Paris’ very first Mac and Cheese night) and talk for hours. One day wires cross and Jess gets in while Rory is there/Rory gets back while Jess is there and things get awkward.

Paris invites Jess to the graduation. Yes she has a limited amount of tickets and yes it’s weird to invite your friend who has barely been around ever but damn it she wants him there. He came to her when he was celebrating his accomplishments, she wants him to be there for hers.

They actually grow even closer as adults; emailing, texting and calling regularly. About 70% of it is general banter and picking on everything and everyone around them, but it’s a far more loving kind now — not that anyone who isn’t them would know, from the outside it looks like they want to kill each other. Regardless of outcome, Paris remains forever team Jess, and the two end up having each other’s backs for life.

So this went long and away from the point (and I only went through Paris’ pov!) but it was fun to write! I hope you like rant answers!

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

Holden Caulfield or Nancy Drew

PART THIRTY-ONE OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: nightmares, anxiety/panic attacks, mentions of domestic abuse/violence, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 7.5K (this is long for some reason idk lads)

Summary: Jess and Ella return to Stars Hollow for Liz’s baby shower.

“So, how do you feel about artificial intelligence?” Ella asked, unprompted, finishing a drawing of some ducklings feasting on a vulture. Her sketchpad sat to her right on the arm of the couch. She was working with the new theme of opposition.

Jess looked up from his book, his head lying on her lap, and furrowed his brows. “What?”

She shrugged. “I read about some guy in the woods of Montana creating an AI all on his own. I think it’s a recipe for disaster.”

“How so?” Setting the book on his chest upside-down, Jess glanced at her inquisitively.

Her eyes were still trained on the drawing she was completing with only one hand. “Well, once they gain a more humanoid form, will they assimilate completely into the human race or will they be distinct from us? I mean, will they enact some revenge plot on us or will we coexist peacefully? We’re not the first humans who’ve had to think about this, but it’s the new millennium. Seems like that kinda stuff is closer than ever.”

Breathing a long sigh, Jess let a smirk cross his face. He peeked at his watch, and found it was only half past five. Chris was due home soon, having gone to do some PR business. Matthew was staying at Mabel’s place for the weekend. The apartment, silent save for their voices, was bathed in evening light. It had been warm for a February day, but a cold front was set to arrive very soon.

“It’s not even six yet. And already we’ve arrived at Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” he asked with a doubtful chuckle.

Finally, she did the last bit of shading on her sketch and shut her book, her pencil saving her place. Her smile was small and sardonic. “You mean Blade Runner? Or are you actually insinuating that the book was better than the movie?”

“I’m not insinuating, Stevens. I’m stating a known fact,” he argued flatly.

She rolled her eyes. “Are you ever gonna get some taste?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he shot back.

Ella scoffed. “Says the man who honestly believes Coldplay could be described as an alternative band?”

“I’m not having this conversation again,” Jess deadpanned playfully, picking his book back up.

“Because you know I’m right.”

“Because you’re relentlessly stubborn.”

“On this particular topic?” Ella said, eyebrows raised. “Any sane person would be.”

“‘Sane’ isn’t quite the right word,” Jess muttered, pretending to ignore her.

She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment, then gave a curt nod and snatched the Kesey book from his hands before he could even react. Sitting up instantly, Jess eyed the book where she held it over the arm of the couch. Certainly, it was in his reach, but that wasn’t the point.

“You know this means war, right?” he asked.

“I’m aware,” she replied coolly, mocking. “But you’ll just have to try to come over here and get this back.”

“If you insist,” he shrugged, sighing slightly.

He launched forwards and began tickling her sides. Eyes widening, Ella dropped the book. The paperback fell with a small thud on the cracked hardwood on the other side of the couch, forgotten. Her sketchbook also slipped off the arm of the couch, the pencil falling out and rolling underneath the chair nearby. Jess had gone straight for the jugular. It had only taken sleeping in the same bed with her a few times for him to realize Ella was one of the most ticklish people he had ever encountered. She laughed loudly, openly, throwing her head back. Her hair splayed behind her as she laid her head against one of the throw pillows and Jess ended up on top, straddling her.

“This is what you get for being a book tease, Daria,” he said.

Her smile was wide, hurting her cheeks, as she pleaded through breathless giggles. “Fuck you! Stop!”

After a few more seconds, he obliged, his hands going slack and gripping her sides gently instead. The grin remained on her lips, her cheeks a lively pink. She caught her breath, dreamy eyes softening as her gaze lingered on his face. “I hate you, Mariano.”

He chuckled in disbelief. “You love me.”

Ella shrugged as Jess leaned in closer to her, breath hot on her face. “Close enough.”

As he went to kiss her, she placed a hand on the back of his neck, cool against his flushed skin. Her lips were soft but firm, needy. She was just wrapping her legs around his waist as he sat up, preparing to lift her up and take her to their bedroom, when Chris walked in. Immediately after tossing his keys on the kitchen counter, he staggered back and clamped his free hand over his eyes.

“Ugh, c’mon guys!” he whined.

Ella gasped and pulled away, hiding her face behind Jess, who turned to his friend with an annoyed stare. About a minute more and they would’ve been in the clear.

“How many times?” Chris continued, glancing through his splayed fingers to ensure it was safe before removing his hand again. “This is a communal living room! Communal!”

“Sorry,” Jess said lightly. “Next time, we’ll hang a sock on the door.”

Ella shoved his shoulder playfully, embarrassed. “Shut up!”

Chris grimaced in distaste but let it slide. He cast a stack of envelopes on the coffee table in front of them before going to hang up his things. “Some mail came.”

Swallowing thickly, Ella climbed off of Jess and began sifting through the mail. Jess watched her go through the envelopes, his chin resting on her shoulder. She tossed a few his way, some bills and some author inquiries.

Only two of them were for her, one being a check for her teacher’s assistant services. The spring semester was going considerably better than the fall, as Ella got the hang of the program. She smiled down at it and picked up her sketchbook again, tucking the check inside and making a mental note to cash it on Monday. Underneath it was a larger envelope, addressed in delicate, handwritten cursive. The return address was for a woman named Carrie from Stars Hollow. For the life of her, she couldn’t produce a face to match the name. Furrowing her brows, she ripped it open and read the stiff card which fell out.

“Hm,” she hummed, beginning to chew at her thumbnail as she looked it over.

“What’s up?” Jess asked absently, flipping through his own pile.

Biting the inside of her cheek, Ella took a hesitant pause before she spoke. The door shut behind Chris as he disappeared into his own room, and Ella was glad the inquiring ears were gone. “I got invited to Liz’s baby shower.”

“Huh,” Jess chirped, indifferent. “When?”

Her eyes landed on the date and she smirked bitterly. “Tomorrow. What a master at planning, your mother.”

“It’s what she’s famous for,” Jess quipped, finally setting his mail back on the coffee table and meeting her eyes again. “You wanna go? There’s no other plans this weekend, right?”

“I don’t know,” Ella shrugged. “Obviously, you could come with. Maybe catch up with Luke or something. He’s probably not doing so hot since everything with Lorelai. I mean...do you want me to go?”

“Not my decision to make,” he said in a clipped tone. He ran a hand over his mouth and peeked down at the invitation. It was pink and glittery. He snorted a bitter laugh. “If you wanna go, I’ll come with.”

“You have no opinion on this?” she asked. “None at all?”

“Nope,” he answered, shaking his head. “No opinion at all.”

She blew a breath out her nose, eyes calculating, as she read the invitation over again and considered the options. Jess didn’t seem thrilled about it, but didn’t seem enraged either. It was nice they had thought of her at all. And Ella had been worrying about Luke in the back of her mind quite a bit as of late. She’d heard through Lane that Lorelai had somehow ended up marrying Rory’s dad, Christopher, in Paris. Besides, Jess spoke with Liz on the phone at least once a month. They weren’t estranged. It would be good, she told herself. Mature.

“Might as well,” she said with finality, adding her own envelopes to the madness on the coffee table. She would have to grab her lone, neat stack later. “Since they remembered to invite me. Feels like I should go.”

Jess nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay,” she echoed, tugging on her earring. “We can take my car. And we’ll have to stop and get a gift on the way, I guess. But the party’s not until four, so we can definitely swing it. I guess you’ll have to hang out at Luke’s or something while I go?”

“Sure,” Jess said, aloof. “I’ll call him later and let him know we’re coming. We should probably stay with him. There’s no telling what kind of state Liz and TJ’s house is in.”

“Yeah, I think that’s a wise choice.”

“Agreed.” He ran an anxious hand through his hair and straightened up slightly, then seemed to lose some of the tension in his shoulders. The small smirk reappeared on his lips. “But, in the meantime, you wanna finish what we started?”

Ella grinned wickedly and grabbed his hand, leading him towards the bedroom door. “No time like the present.”

.   .   .

Usually, when Jess emerged from a nightmare, a big gasp brought him immediately back to reality. He would jolt physically as soon as his eyes flew open. But, this time, he found he couldn’t get quite as much of the dry central heating air as he needed when he reentered the waking world. His chest felt tight, as it often did in a bad dream’s aftermath, but his throat also felt impossibly small. His breathing came in short gasps. His heart beat hard against his ribs, making him feel almost nauseous. Though he was sticky with sweat, shivers rolled through his body, making his hands tremble. And for just one moment, he feared he was so lightheaded he would pass out.

Ella didn’t feel his movements so much as hear his shuffling around. When she cracked her eyes open, and blinked away the first few seconds of blurriness, she found him leaning up against the wall behind the bed. His eyes were wide and terrified, and he couldn’t control his breathing despite the hand he held desperately to his chest.

“Whoa, hey, Jess,” she murmured softly.

Sitting up, she immediately went to bring a hand to his shoulder, but he flinched away from her.

“I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to, okay?” she told him.

He nodded weakly.

Worry crept up her throat, but she did her best to keep her voice calm. She had seen shades of the same reaction each time he had a nightmare, but it had never been quite so extreme. His pupils had never been blown-out, as she could see in the grayish light of the early morning, and he had never had trouble breathing before.

“What do you need?” she asked, trying to get him to meet her gaze. When he finally did, she could see tears just about to spill over.

“Elle, I...I don’t…” He struggled for words, panting.

“Alright, that’s fine,” she whispered. “It’s fine if you don’t know. Everything is fine, Jess. But let’s just breathe, alright? Breathe with me.”

She took a long, loud breath in through her nose, then let it out through her mouth.

“Do it with me, James Dean. In and out, huh?” she said.

Though he raised a doubtful eyebrow, eventually, he did as she instructed. His hands almost felt numb, pins and needles, but they stopped shaking after a few minutes of slow breaths. He grabbed her hand in his own, squeezing tightly. He wondered instantly why he had withdrawn from her before. The feeling of her skin against his did perhaps more to soothe him than the breathing did.

She offered a tiny smile as he interlaced their fingers, and squeezed back. “Good job, Jess. Everything’s fine. I’m right here.”

Again, he nodded, more emphatically. There were glistening tear tracks running down his cheeks. He sniffled as his breathing became regular again, and he bit down hard on his bottom lip to maintain whatever semblance of control he could.

“You okay?” she asked, watching his muscles begin to ease up.

Releasing her hand, Jess averted his gaze and felt a blush heat his skin. “Yeah. Yeah. Fine.”

Ella said nothing more, instead gently laying him back down. She tugged the covers over them again, though she knew the alarm would probably go off in less than an hour or two. She brought his head to her chest, running her fingers through his hair and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Wiping some of the dampness from his face with her thumb, she rubbed her free hand up and down over his back.

“One of those dreams, cutie?” she asked quietly.

He hummed in confirmation.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“No,” he said, and she thought she heard his voice becoming watery again.

“Okay,” she replied, soft but resolute. It was the response she had expected, but it seemed worth asking for such an acute reaction.

A calm, comfortable silence passed between them. Outside, the birds were chirping, and the traffic noise had already started. Slats of light snuck through the closed blinds and cast white strips over the gray comforter. Reaching over, Jess began to trace a fingertip over the tattoo on the inside of her left forearm. He did it often with her body art, after having watched her run her hands over her sketches so many times.

“Remind me about this one,” he said softly.

She smiled. He’d asked her more than once after a nightmare. She only had two tattoos so far, though she had plans for a third. Quality meant money, and she was still saving up. Sometimes he asked about the one on her leg, an antique bird cage with an open door. Neither of her tattoos had any color, drawn in a delicate, shaded style by an artist in New Haven. She was talented, and Gil knew her through his sandwich shop connections. She was still apprenticing, making sandwiches to get by before she could open her own shop or get permanently hired at one.

The birdcage had actually been Lane’s idea, after Ella moved in with her. Partially inspired by Keats’s odes, Ella had thought of getting a simple bird tattoo. She’d mentioned it to Lane, who lit up immediately at the mention of a rebellious act, and suggested something a bit different. The metaphor was clear, the tattoo was beautiful. The experience was better than she thought it would be, and she’d gone back for her second only a few months later, on Mother’s Day.

As much as Ella loved the birdcage, the tulip on her arm was her favorite. By the same artist, it had the same style. It was delicate, the bloom near the crook of her elbow and the stem tapering off and disappearing gracefully a little above her wrist.

“When I was a kid,” she began, “my mother had a kickass garden. I always wanted to help her, planting and watering and everything. But, as we all know, I kill everything except cactuses. She gave me a bunch of tulip seeds for my birthday once, and I made them my project. Got some books about flowers from the library, and everything. Only one ended up growing, anyway. But I was proud of it. And my mom was proud of me. And now I remember every time I look at my arm.”

Jess could feel the vibrations of Ella’s raspy voice in her chest, his ear pressed against her t-shirt as he listened. His eyes were getting heavy again, his body stressed from the rude awakening. It made him feel silly, but it had always so easily put him back to sleep. Not having to talk. Just listening to her.

“Pretty sentimental of you, Stevens,” he joked.

She chuckled. “Hypocrite. Love at first sight much?”

“Who am I to deny a law of the universe? Not like I could help it. I saw you and it was done,” he argued impassively.

“Guess I’m just irresistible,” she teased.

“Seems that way.”

Her own eyes fluttered shut. She was warm but not uncomfortable. Cozy, she supposed, was the word for it. Jess on her right side, with his head on her chest, seconds away from snoring.

“Hey, I do love you, Mariano.”

One corner of Jess’s mouth quirked up in a lazy smile, as he dozed despite the uneasiness and embarrassment still sitting in his stomach. “I know, Stevens. Love you back.”

.   .   .

Humming along with the CD, Ella cast nervous glances Jess’s way. His scowl was near permanent as he stared out the window at the passing scenery. The breeze was frigid as the sun beat down on the Connecticut streets. They were only five minutes away from Liz and TJ’s house, and Ella felt far less nostalgia than she was expecting. Fiona and Adam both had plans for the day, and said they simply couldn’t carve out the time to see her. Not one minute. Adam had some project he was spending the weekend at a friend’s house to finish. And Fiona had hair appointments booked solid. Ella knew it was naive to think they would fit in time for her on such a spur of the moment visit, but the disappointment remained. Stars Hollow didn’t look the same to her, feel the same to her, no matter how identical it seemed. Colorful decorations popped up on the sidewalks and there was a banner for some random town holiday above Taylor’s store. She didn’t bother to read it; next weekend was Valentine’s Day and she knew whatever the town was currently celebrating would just be an excuse to drum up business for the actual calendar event. As soon as “Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters” ended, she pulled her station wagon over to the side, outside Liz and TJ’s modest ranch-style, adorned with lawn ornaments and wind chimes and other kitschy decorations. A bunch of pink balloons streamed from where they were tied to the mailbox, which was shaped like a fish.

“Okay. Out with it,” she said, turning to him just as she pulled the parking brake.

Jess faced her, furrowing his brows. “What?”

“What’s with you?” Ella asked. “You always sing along to Elton John. At least, when it’s just the two of us you do. ‘Mona Lisa and Mad Hatters’ is your favorite. You’re not singing so...what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Jess said shortly, arms crossed over his flannel.

Ella blew her curtain bangs from her eyes in frustration, the rest of her locks pulled back in a low bun. She pulled the keys from the ignition. “Can we just skip this whole denial part and get to the part where you tell me what’s going on with you?”

“This isn’t the denial part,” Jess said, rolling his eyes. “This is the part where I tell you nothing is wrong because nothing is wrong. Two different parts entirely.”

“I asked you if you still wanted to come after everything that happened last night. And you said, and I quote: ‘Yes.’ And you didn’t want to talk about it, which is totally fine. But you seemed so out of it this morning, and-”

“This isn’t about last night,” he interrupted, a defensive bite in his voice. His muscles were tense.

“Alright,” she nodded, eyebrows raised. “Then what the hell is it about?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

“I think you might be a worse liar than me,” she mused peevishly. “Just give it up, Mariano. What is wrong?”

“The third degree is getting a little old, Nancy Drew,” he shot back, raising his voice slightly.

She spoke with her hands, a small, bitter, sarcastic smirk on her face. “You know what I think is getting old? The Holden fucking Caulfield act, which I haven’t seen in, like, three years. Now, you obviously don’t wanna be here, jackass. You obviously didn’t want me to go to this thing. Which you could’ve mentioned about two hundred miles ago. But I guess I wasn’t worthy of that courtesy. I’m only your girlfriend and your best friend, but who am I kidding? There’s no one on the planet who could possibly be privy to the thoughts of tortured genius, Jess Mariano! Excuse me!”

Grabbing the present and her purse from the backseat and shutting the driver’s side door behind her harshly, she began trudging up the cobblestone path to the house.

Jess sighed heavily as he got out of the car and leaned against the passenger side. He watched as Ella stopped abruptly and turned on her heel, fire in her hazel eyes as she doubled back and held the keys out to him.

“For you, Caulfield. Avoid the phonies on your way. I hear they tend to jaywalk,” she snapped as he took the keys.

“You’re so fucking hilarious,” he retorted, eyes narrowed.

“And you are so fucking annoying,” she shouted over her shoulder as she neared the front door.

“Right back at ya, Stevens!”

Jess ran a hand over his mouth as he saw Liz come out to meet Ella, enveloping her in a warm, cheerful hug. Her baby bump was round and visible from the street, and she offered her son a wave from the distance. He returned it begrudgingly. Feeling his stomach do a flip, his eyes followed Ella as she vanished into the house and didn’t turn back for a final look at him.

.   .   .

Evening had darkened to a deep, silky blue outside. The air was icy and thick with the promise of forthcoming snow. Ella sat on the porch with Miss Patty as she smoked from her long cigarette holder. The day hadn’t been her happiest, but Ella was glad to have a chance to reunite with the best dance teacher on the East Coast. Babette had left earlier, something about a gig for Maury’s jazz group. Carrie, who Ella had recognized as one of the crazy guests from Liz’s bachelorette party upon seeing her face again, was inside with Liz and TJ. And, Ella couldn’t think of anything she wanted to hear less than the story TJ was currently telling of the fight he and Jess had gotten into at a strip club. The father-to-be had shown up halfway through the party to be present when the gifts were opened, wearing an ostentatious Hawaiian shirt, inexplicably.

Ella’s glass was filled with watery orange juice, the ice cubes long since having melted. The drink was tangy, sour, and she had downed at least four of them over the course of the past three hours.

“And I told Marlene I simply couldn’t take her place,” Patty said, words snaking out of her mouth in white clouds. She was draped in velvet shawls and several long necklaces. “But she insisted!”

“I never knew you were a Dietrich stand-in,” Ella said, head buzzing and airy.

Patty nodded, an eyebrow raised suggestively. “I was her stand-in in more ways than one. Rudolf Sieber was a hell of a man.”

Snorting a laugh, Ella half-listened as she leaned over to get a better view of the full moon and the bright stars. She slid right off the porch swing and landed directly on her ass. Bursting out in drunken cackles, she somehow managed to keep the drink gripped in her hand. She gulped up the rest of it, then placed it down on the painted wood floor next to her. Patty laughed along suspiciously.

“Darling, are you alright?”

Ella nodded through her sloppy giggles, licking her lips. “I’m great, Miss Patty. Y’know, I don’t usually like orange juice too much, but I love it tonight. And Liz loved the pajamas we got. I thought the piglets would be better, but Jess insisted we get the sheep. He was right, I guess. It’d be nice if he was so open about more than just his onesie opinions.”

“My dear,” Patty began, stubbing out her cigarette, “that’s not orange juice. That’s a screwdriver.”

“Hm?” Ella asked, looking up at her from her place on the floor with large, glassy eyes.

“A screwdriver. It’s orange juice and vodka,” Patty explained, half-amused and half-concerned. She went and shouted something through the front door to Liz, TJ, Carrie, and the rest of the crowd. Ella said nothing, only looking down in confusion at her empty cup.

Liz appeared next to Patty in a second, both of them coming over and lifting Ella by the upper arms. Smiling widely, Liz gave Ella a hug goodbye. Ella laughed in her grasp, more receptive to the contact than she was when she first got to the shower.

“I had so much fun! Thank you for inviting me!” Ella exclaimed, her voice high and intoxicated.

Grin ever-present, Liz pulled away from Ella and held her by the shoulders. “Aw, thank you for coming. I love the onesie! Patty’s gonna walk you back to my bro’s diner, alright?”

Ella paused for a long, apprehensive moment, then nodded happily. “Okay, sure. Hey, did Carrie give me vodka? Patty said something about vodka. But Carrie said it was orange juice and I couldn’t taste anything else!”

“You’ll be fine, sweetie,” Liz said calmly, then turned Ella back to Patty.

Ella was about to question her further, but she was already being whisked away.

“C’mon, let’s get you back to the diner,” Patty said, pushing Ella forwards by the shoulderblades.

Babbling on about whatever passed through her brain, Ella appreciated the cold air on her flushed skin as they strolled through town on the five-minute walk back to Luke's. At some point, she shed her black peacoat and slung it over her shoulder. There were rosy patches blooming on her chest, exposed in her floral black dress. Her tights had somehow sustained more than one rip and her Doc Martens felt leaden on her feet. The lights of the diner were a beacon against the dark backdrop of town at night. She saw Jess, all broody on a stool at the end of the counter, through the front window.

“Ugh, Jess is such an asshole sometimes,” she muttered, her words thick like molasses.

Patty chuckled, walking her up the concrete steps. “He’s a man, honey. What did you expect?”

The bell over the door jingled jovially. Luke was cleaning up the counter as the Saturday dinner rush died down. The aroma of salt and grease was potent. Finally, the wave of nostalgia hit Ella as she hung her coat and bag by the door. She almost knocked the rack down as Patty’s hands hovered over her form cautiously.

“Yes, everyone, your eyes do not deceive you,” Ella announced. “Luke’s best waitress has returned to her humble beginnings in Stars Hollow.”

At the sound of her voice, Jess turned and his eyes widened. He abandoned his book on the counter and hopped up from the stool. Luke, equally startled, could only stand there with his mouth agape.

“What happened?” Jess asked, rushing over to Ella. His hands went to her waist to guide her, but she swatted him away with a heavy sigh of frustration.

“Get off me, Holden Caulfield,” she mumbled, wobbly on her feet.

“Carrie gave her five screwdrivers. She thought it was orange juice,” Patty said shortly, offering some greetings to the stray customers sitting around and looking on in curiosity. “You got her, Jess? I have a midnight sauna salsa class to set up for.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Patty,” Jess said, taking over for her.

Ella ran right into one of the tables. It screeched across the tile floor, leaving a dark mark. But Jess caught her before she fell on her face. Patty offered Ella a final kiss on the cheek before making her exit.

“Dammit, Crazy Carrie strikes again!” Luke exclaimed. Jess sensed a rant coming. “I never would’ve let her go if I knew that’s who was throwing it!”

“You think you could stop Eleanor Stevens from going anywhere?” Jess asked doubtfully, continuing his failed attempts to direct her.

“Luke, your nephew is a jackass, did you know that? And such a dork,” Ella said, coming behind the counter and learning her elbows on it tiredly. Luke could smell the vodka, strong on her breath. “I mean, he loves broadway. I’m serious. And Elton John. And Nora Ephron. And remember when we were in high school when he got that black eye from-”

Jess finally managed to clamp his hand over Ella’s mouth, as she had been shoving his hands away during the entire diatribe. She was surprisingly strong while drunk, even though she was such a lightweight. Licking his hand, Ella managed to get her mouth free again. She laughed at Jess’s grimace as he wiped his palm on her sleeve, but pressed her back against him nonetheless. She felt some stability returning as he began to support her weight.

“Okay, I think it’s time we get you to bed,” Jess said. His cheeks were flushed and there was crease of concern on his forehead. “Don’t you think so, Luke?”

“Yeah, Ella, the sheets are clean. You guys can take my bed tonight,” Luke said, nodding along as he went over to the cash register.

“But I don’t wanna take your bed. Who are we to take your bed?” Ella argued, as Jess led her back towards the stairs. She stumbled over her words, and swayed as she tried to walk.

“It’s fine, Ella,” Luke insisted warily. “You’ll take the bed.”

“But-”

Jess uttered a long sigh, then hoisted her up bridal-style, fed up with struggling. Groaning dramatically, Ella stiffened for only a moment, then relaxed in his arms. Her head lolled drunkenly against his shoulder.

“Oh, look, my jackass in shining armor,” she spat out, eyes closed.

“Yeah, I’m the fourth horseman of the apocalypse, I know,” he replied, finishing his climb up the stairs and managing to open the door to the apartment with only one hand.

“At least you’re self-aware.”

She was already drifting off, and he set her down atop the soft orange cover on Luke’s double bed. She rolled over onto her side and grabbed a fistful of the sheets sleepily. By the time Jess returned to her with a glass of water and some aspirin, she was beginning to snore. He set the glass and pills on the bedside table.

“Elle? Wake up for just a sec,” he whispered, shaking her shoulder gently.

She gave another petulant moan, but opened her bleary eyes and sat up against the headboard.

“Take these,” he said shortly, giving her the glass and the aspirin.

Shooting him a scornful glare, she knocked them back without a word.

“You want the Led Zeppelin t-shirt or the blue flannel?” he asked, going over to the duffel he’d brought up to the apartment earlier.

She pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling the headache already. “Fuck, I wish I brought the KISS t-shirt. But if I brought it, I would definitely forget it. I can see it already. Led Zeppelin, please.”

He nodded, then came back to the end of the bed and began untying her shoes for her. Her eyes fluttered shut again. The smell of pine in the apartment was old and comforting. The covers were soft against her skin as Jess tugged off her stockings, leaving her legs bare. He swapped them for a pair of plaid pajama shorts, which she actually tried (unsuccessfully) to help him put on.

Suddenly, she began to clutch at the leather cord around her neck. On it, there hung a heavy, blue geode, flat against the exposed skin of her chest. She tried twice to get it off herself, before Jess finished with her shorts and pushed her hands aside. He raised it up and off of her carefully.

“Your mom put that on me. I might’ve given her twenty bucks for it? I don’t remember,” she told him, surly.

Jess cracked a joyless smirk. “How mercenary of her.”

“I wish I wasn’t drunk,” she murmured as he instructed her to raise her arms so he could get her dress and bra off.

“I know,” he replied.

“Being drunk fucking sucks,” she continued as he slipped the worn cotton t-shirt over her head.

“I know,” he repeated. Jess scooted up closer to the head of the bed. “Turn around.”

She did as he said, though not without sulky huff. In measured, delicate movements, he undid her hairdo, taking out the bobby pins and the elastic. He ran his fingers gently through her hair, untangling it.

“Okay. Do you wanna brush your teeth first?” he asked quietly.

She shook her head, burrowing beneath the covers and turning away from him. Swallowing dryly, Jess gave a curt nod and was about to turn and leave when Ella flipped suddenly onto her back.

“Hey, you have to stay on your side in case-”

“I just want you to talk to me,” she interjected, reaching up to stroke his stubbly cheek with her thumb. For a moment, as she continued, he thought he saw the shine of tears in her eyes. “We need to tell each other everything. I’m really fucking worried about you. And I just...I love you and...maybe I was being too aggressive. I don’t know. But I really, really wish I wasn’t drunk and my head hurts and I wish we could go home and-”

“Hey, Eleanor, just go to sleep,” he said softly, taking her hand from his face and running his thumb over the back. She was rambling, eyes red-rimmed, beyond exhausted. Tucking her in tightly, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “We can talk about this tomorrow.”

Irrational hurt passed over Ella’s face and she scoffed angrily. She faced away from him again, the cold shoulder. “Whatever. Holden fucking Caulfield.”

.   .   .

It was past eleven when Luke finally closed up for the night. He had no place to be, and let Caesar go early. The diner was completely silent as he scrubbed away at smudged surfaces and swept up crumbs. He wished for Lorelai, could picture her at home with Christopher. Around the kitchen table where he used to sit, with Rory and Christopher’s own daughter, Gigi. Luke wondered at it in the back of his mind. Christopher had a daughter, just like him. But he’d made it work. He’d figured it out, and gotten Lorelai in the end. Why hadn’t he been able to? What was wrong with him?

He pushed the thoughts away again, shaking his head. They did no good. What’s done is done, he told himself. Maybe one day he would find someone again. But he had never met anyone who made him feel the way Lorelai did. No one else in the world. He wasn’t optimistic he’d honestly be able to come across true love again. He trudged up the creaky back stairs, his brow heavy with anguish, after shutting off the downstairs lights. Opening the door to the apartment, which still read ‘Williams Hardware’ all these years after his father had died, he was surprised to see Jess at the kitchen table, book in hand. The light over the sink was the only one left on, creating a dim glow.

“Hey,” he said quietly, locking the door behind him, even though the front door of the diner was locked as well.

Jess’s eyes lingered on the page for a moment as he finished a sentence, before he saved his place and looked up. “Hey. You finish closing?”

“Yep,” Luke said, placing his keys down near the door and immediately going to grab a beer from the fridge. He held one out to his nephew. “You want one?”

Not even considering it, Jess shook his head. He tossed a nervous look at Ella, who lay snoring and tangled up in the orange sheets. She was talking nonsense in her sleep, had been for the past two or three hours as Jess attempted to finish his Kesey novel. He was having trouble concentrating.

“No, thanks,” he said. “I think at least one of us should be sober tonight.”

“Suit yourself.”

Luke came to sit beside Jess silently, sipping his Heineken and waiting for whatever story was to come. It was only the second time in his life he had seen Ella drunk, and it was making him feel an odd sense of deja-vu.

“I wanted to help clean up downstairs, but I was worried she would flip over onto her back. I figured I should stay here and...make sure she was okay,” Jess explained, apologetic.

“Don’t worry about it.” Luke shrugged it off dismissively.

“She hates being drunk,” Jess said, eyes still on Ella. “I mean, on her twenty-first birthday, we didn’t even go out. We just watched Goodfellas.”

“Why?” Luke asked, tilting his head in confusion.

Jess smirked. “She said it was a makeshift rite of passage, since she didn’t want to drink. Because they say ‘fuck’ exactly three hundred times.”

“Sounds like her,” Luke said fondly.

“Yeah,” Jess replied, looking down at his lap and breathing a sigh.

“She didn’t seem too happy with you earlier,” Luke said pointedly, eyebrows raised. “Or was that just the booze talking?”

Jess uttered a bitter chuckle. “I’d say a sober woman’s thoughts are a drunk woman’s words, but she sounded pretty much the same level of pissed in the car on the way up here as she did after five screwdrivers.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Jess said, his words a sigh. “I thought I’d be okay with all this. The baby shower and everything. But I got to thinking about it more and more and...I just don’t know. Do you think Liz is ready for another kid?”

Luke paused a moment, appraising Jess’s face. He saw sincere fear in his nephew’s features, taking him slightly aback. “I think so. And TJ’s not the sharpest tool in the shed by any means, but I think he’s even less of a flight risk than your mom. And they live right down the road from me, Jess.”

Jess hummed. “I guess that’s true. I just got to remembering some things about Liz and...Ella could tell something was up. She can always tell. But I guess I didn’t feel like talking.”

Blowing a long breath out through his nose, Luke nodded. “Well, you don’t have to worry about this kid. I promise. I won’t let anything happen.”

“Thanks.”

“And Jess?” Luke began, meeting his nephew’s eyes. “Talk to her. Tell her everything that’s on her mind. There’s no point in hiding things. It’ll drive her crazy, and it’ll drive her away. We’ve had this conversation before. Open two-way communication is-”

“The foundation of love, I know, Dr. Phil,” Jess grumbled, rolling his eyes at the self-help jargon. But, inside, he stored the sentiment away for later. “Old habits, I guess. I’m working on it.”

“Good. That’s all that matters,” Luke said, offering Jess a hopeful smile and finishing off the last of his beer. He tossed it in the recycling and retreated to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Jess ran a hand over his mouth and then rubbed at his tired eyes with the heels of his hands. His dream from the night before flashed across his mind quickly, and he tried to lock the images away. The thought of curling up on the old leather couch made him grimace. He wasn’t eager for a repeat. One more chapter, he told himself. Then he would be ready to try and rest.

.   .   .

Whatever possessed her to wake up at five in the morning on a Sunday, she wasn’t entirely sure. But the pounding headache in her temples probably had something to do with it. Luke was already gone, the twin bed on which Jess had once slept made neatly and left empty. Early morning deliveries perhaps. Or maybe he was getting ready for the brunch crowd. It was his least favorite group of customers, Ella remembered. As she awoke and saw Jess was asleep beneath a throw blanket on the couch, book on the floor next to him, she hopped up from the bed. The weathered hardwood was cold beneath her bare feet, and she wished the room wasn’t quite as awash in morning light. She had to squint against it as she padded over, sitting on the edge of one couch cushion.

“Jess?” she whispered, groggy. She raked her hands through her messy hair and tucked it behind her ears. Goosebumps rose on her arms after having left the warmth of the bed. “Jess?”

He stirred on only the second try, scrunching up his face. He was still dressed in his clothes from the day before. Eventually, his brown eyes were open, and surprised to see her up before him. “Hey, Elle. You okay?”

“Yeah. Why are you on the couch?”

“Oh,” he said, throwing an arm across his eyes and yawning. “You were pretty mad last night. I didn’t know if you’d want me to get in with you.”

She shook her head, a small smile ghosting over her lips. “I always want you sleeping next to me, cutie. Even when I’m mad. I mean, we’ve got sides of the bed now. There’s tradition to maintain.”

“Like you’ve ever cared about tradition,” he chuckled, blinking away the sleep in his field of vision. She looked pale, almost a sickly green, but her eyes were clear once again. And her speech was no longer drunkenly strung together.

“Fair enough,” she replied. “But I wasn’t sleep-in-separate-beds mad. I was just I’m-wasted-and-annoyed mad.”

“How the hell did you not know you were drinking screwdrivers?” he asked, a teasing smirk appearing on his face.

She rolled her eyes, mostly at herself. “I don’t know, Mariano. I don’t ever drink. How am I supposed to know what alcohol tastes like? And I don’t know what the fuck Carrie did to those, but I swear they were a dead ringer for straight orange juice.”

“Whatever you say, Stevens.”

“Shut up,” she quipped with good nature. “Did I try to sing Rumors or anything? I don’t really remember.”

“Mercifully, no,” he said, sitting up against the arm of the couch. “Nothing crazy. You are a bit of a weepy drunk, but who isn’t?”

“Jesus,” she murmured, blushing slightly.

He chuckled half-heartedly, then his face grew more earnest. “Hey, Elle?”

“Hm?”

Pausing to heave a heavy sigh, he raked a hand through his bedhead.

“I didn’t want to come here because of the dream I had,” Jess spit out, before he could lose his nerve. “Nothing specific...just a bunch of stuff from when I was growing up. It just...Liz wasn’t the best mom and I was remembering...a lot. And I was nervous about her…”

“Screwing up that kid’s life?” she asked.

He nodded shyly.

“Okay. I get why you’d be nervous. But she’s with TJ now, and she’s older. And, plus, the day Luke lets anything happen to that baby is the day Coldplay is classified is an alternative band,” Ella said. At some point, she began running her fingers through his hair in reassurance. “I really, really think it’ll be fine.”

“I know. I talked to Luke last night.”

“And you’re feeling better about it?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, feeling a small weight lift from somewhere inside him. “But I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just...I don’t know. I was...scared. It was stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, Jess,” she shook her head, gaze softening. “It makes sense. I’m sorry if I pushed you too hard. I didn’t mean to. You just...you scared me. And I was going insane because I knew something was wrong and...I was just worried about you.”

“I know, Daria,” he said fondly.

“I mean, you had a panic attack, Jess.” Her voice was deep with fatigue, and had pleading quality which struck Jess’s heart. “You couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know if I was gonna be able to help and...maybe you should see someone? My brother’s therapist helped him a lot after my mom.”

“I’ll think about it,” Jess replied, shockingly genuine. Ella didn’t think he would be entertaining the thought of getting help so easily.

“Good.”

“Not like I’ve got the best insurance though.”

Ella sighed. “Yeah. Fucking capitalism.”

“It’s a little early to be going Marxist, I think,” he said, laughing breathily.

“Oh, it’s never too early,” she shot back.

“Duly noted,” Jess replied. Then, after a hesitant pause: “So, we’re fine?”

“Everything’s fine, James Dean,” she said, nodding. “Thanks for telling me.”

“Don’t thank me,” he said with a bashful laugh, bowing his head.

Ella’s smile grew at his shyness, and she pressed a brief kiss to his forehead before he lifted his head back up and their lips met. As they pulled away from each other, he placed an affectionate hand on her cheek.

“How’s your head?”

“I’ll survive.”

“I’m glad,” he quipped. “You think you can handle some breakfast?”

“Worth a try.”

“Okay, once Luke opens up, we can head downstairs. Then let’s go home?” he proposed.

“Yeah. Sounds like a plan,” she said, almost wistful. “Let’s go home.”

[austennerdita2533]

A ship edition of make you choose, my friend! Klaroline or Bangel? Lorelai/Luke or Rory/Jess? Anne/Wentworth or Emma/Knightley? Mondler or Benslie? Rachel/Ross or Rachel/Joey? April/Jackson or Lexie/Mark? And I always love your analysis, so please feel free to explain the reasons behind your choices if you want to! XO

I am always so excited to receive these even though answering/picking means ripping my soul into shipper Horcruxes haha. Love your new icon, btw! xx

Klaroline or Bangel? 

Although Buffy and Angel are arguably my favorite forbidden love couple on TV - their longing for each other is an eternal, visceral, soul-encompassing thing - I have to go with Klaus and Caroline on this one. They’re the ship that brought me to Tumblr. They’ve yanked more fic out of me than I can believe. They’re the reason why I have so many amazing friends and mutuals. More importantly that all that, I am trash for them and always will be. 

THIS CANNOT BE HELPED.

Klaroline have such tangled history, such rich possibility for the future. I get lost in the labyrinth of goodness and darkness unspooling between them. The qualities that clash. The emotion that sparks. The resistance that builds and builds, binding uncomfortably before it snaps. The enigmatic ‘something’ that scrapes between them like teeth until it comes away infected, bloodied, marred in chunks that are beyond reconciling with any chronology. They have the kind of connection that digs under the skin with claws. It’s neither painless nor pretty, not always happy nor healthy, but it pervades. It permeates until possession becomes nine-tenths of the law in their conquered hearts. Inevitability coils like like a living thing between them--and breathes.

I love the malleability of time that surrounds them, too. Part of that comes from their status as vampires, as supernaturals, but it also has something to do with how they punch through it as well - individually, together - both of them finding new ways to love eternity as it continues to stretch before them, bending it to their will whenever necessary. 

I don’t know, it’s fun to imagine the enigma they pose to the world. To each other. What will a new year bring? A decade? How about a century? 

Despite their lack of heartbeats, there’s change on the cusp of every word they utter to one another, on the fringe of every kiss they almost share but swallow before they reveal too much, not enough, everything all at once. It’s a dizzying, dangerous, and intoxicating “thing” they share, you know? 

I suppose...well, I suppose I just like how there’s nothing easy about who they are or want they want. 

Lorelai/Luke or Rory/Jess?

This one was difficult because JavaJunkies and Literati are top tier ships for me. *cries* I went with Luke and Lorelai mostly because I’ve been a shipper since I first saw them in the pilot episode back in the early 2000′s, and--I haven’t looked back since. They had me rushing home from school to watch re-runs, hightailing it from after-hours sports so I could catch new episodes on the WB. I haunted message boards. I scoured the Internet for spoilers. I tumbled into fanfiction before fanfiction was even a thing. I watched the seasons over and over again until I nearly memorized every moment they had, every bit of dialogue they spewed; until I analyzed subtext until I made my own head spin.

What I love so much about them is that they’re friends first and foremost. They genuinely like, trust, and respect each other as people beyond all else. They’re opposites, of course, but in a complementary way that just works. They also come to know they can depend on one another in good times or bad, and it’s that ‘unconditional’ element in their dynamic which draws me in hook, line, and sinker because it’s the kind of quality that preserves the longevity of a relationship. To be honest, over the OG series, we do see Luke and Lorelai veer farther away from each other romantically more than we’d like: *side eyes s6-early s7 specifically*; yet, at the same time, there’s a Permanence about them that never fails. Never fades. They’re simply THERE in whatever capacity the other wants or needs. No matter what, no matter when, no matter the emotional crap that’s already pooled between them.

Call me crazy, but I think steadiness and devotion of that caliber is beautiful.

Luke and Lorelai evolve together in such a way that it’s impossible for me to imagine them with anyone else in the end. They belong together like coffee and donuts.

Anne/Wentworth or Emma/Knightley?

Ask me this same question tomorrow and I’ll probably give you the opposite answer. However, today...today I am all about the angst and pining! 

Eight-and-a-half years worth of regrets and broken hearts that never mended, looks that scorch because they were held a moment too long in front of company, secret longings that are whispered into pillows before the candle on the dresser expires and they tuck their weary limbs into bed, dreams that feature that one face impossible to forget--LEAVE ME HERE TO SING “KILLING ME SOFTLY” because that’s what Anne and Wentworth do to me!

Mondler or Benslie?

Look, I will love Monica and Chandler until my dying day but Ben and Leslie are so unbelievably adorkable together that anytime I think about them my heart is instantaneously flooded with warm, sunshiny, politically active, eats-waffles-for-every-meal-and-regrets-nothing fuzzies. I just--*melts onto the floor in a puddle of Pawnee rainbows*

Rachel/Ross or Rachel/Joey?

Ross-hatred is pretty embedded in the Friends fandom these days so I am sure many are or will be tempted to jump down my throat for this choice but...BUT...I do not care! *laughs maniacally* Ross and Rachel always had that boomerang spark, that “we’ll find our way back to each other” ellipsis at the end of every break-up or missed opportunity, that kissing-each-other-in-the-rain passion that could not be weathered despite the number of years or marriages or ‘almosts’ they had with other people, and I cannot get over them. I cannot give them up. I won’t, I won’t.

SHE GOT OFF THE PLANE, OKAY?  She. got. off. the. plane. And, controversial though that might be for some (trust me, I get all the arguments against it; against them, really), I can’t help but be gleeful they got their happy ending. I wanted it then, I’m still satisfied with it now. *shrugs unapologetically*

April/Jackson or Lexie/Mark?

This last one cut me deep. 

Ouch. 

However, with Slexie, at least it’s canon that they were each other’s true albeit last *cries* loves and I can pretend that they reunited somewhere in the afterlife. But Japril...Japril was done so. stinking. dirtyyyy by Grey’s Anatomy. I will never forgive the writers for ending them the way they did. Never!

JACKSON AND APRIL ARE THE EPITOME OF SOULMATES. Their relationship was predicated on the purest, most wholesome kind of love because it blossomed from mutual respect and admiration as well as understanding. They invested the time. They put in the work. They peeled back the layers slowly, carefully, learning the magic of caring by opening their ears first then offering their shoulders when hurt swooped in to snip at pieces the other had left undefended. It was only later, with time, with trust that had turned conversation into a balm of contentment, that arms became a refuge, too. A harbor. A place of comfort and affection where they felt seen. Heard. Known. Loved in a way that wasn’t free from tears - oh, no - but was embracive of them as they fell, cushioning their remnants on thumbs as if they were more precious than pearls. 

They loved everything about each other, vices included. They were best friends, lovers, something more intimate that defies definition but wraps itself around the sentiment of “having a favorite person.” 

There’s an ethereal quality to what they are--what they mean to each other. You can’t quite touch it, can’t quite capture it, all you know is their atoms continue co-mingling whether or not anyone else notices it’s happening. 

There’s no ending to a love like that, only another beginning.  

[romchomp]

Gilmore Girls: The Love Interests

This post might get a little lengthy.

In Gilmore Girls, there are four girls we get to see coarse through different relationships throughout the seasons of the show. As someone who recently finished marathoning Gilmore Girls and has a blog based on romance shows and anime, I figured why not talk about all these relationships the characters went through.

Rory, as our main character, will go first. Talking about the different boyfriends she’s had will be fun because her taste is uhhh pretty questionable.

Dean is Rory’s first boyfriend and hence, the first love interest. I think we can all agree he was the worst. He actually started off pretty good, if not a little boring. However, it doesn’t take that long for him come off as dramatic with some sort of anger issue. He almost always put his feelings before Rory’s. When his marriage fell apart he got upset with Rory and made it out to be as if everything was her fault despite him being the one who cheated. He generally became less and less pleasant as the show went on and even at his best he was just generic and boring and while nice, still not that good of a boyfriend.

The next boy Rory dates is Jess. Jess is a tricky one to talk to about because while I love his character and find him to be one of the more interesting ones in the series, I really don’t like him as a boyfriend. All throughout their relationship Jess treated Rory horribly. He was moody, never talked to her about anything, and never even seemed like he actually wanted to be in the relationship. They were constantly arguing and most of the sweet moments between them were Jess’s attempt to make up for some shitty thing he did earlier. I liked him a lot more when he wasn’t dating Rory. Season 6 Jess was great, and maybe if the show took the route of Rory dating him once again things would be different and I could say I liked him better the second go around but that’s not what happened. Bottom line is, he’s a better character than Dean, also probably had more respect for Rory and I’d say he understood Rory better than Logan did too, but god he was a really bad boyfriend.

Last but not least, there’s Logan. Who has the opposite problem Jess did. Despite him being a complete douchebag and a personality I found to be quite unlikable, he was a surprisingly pretty decent boyfriend. My opinion of Logan moved around quite a bit through the course of the show. At first, I hated him. The way he teased Marty and talked to Rory immediately put a sour taste in my mouth. However after Dean broke up with Rory (for the third time?) at her grandparents' party I realized that huh, I like the way he’s treating Rory. The way he tried to cheer her up felt very platonic. Was he already pining for her? Probably. But Logan never came across as more than friendly until he started very obviously teasing her when she was showing that one Chilton student around. Then there’s when Rory asked him why he never asked her out (because it was pretty evident they both liked each other at this point), and Logan’s reasoning was that he didn’t know how to be a boyfriend. By this point I like Logan. He respects Rory and wants her around even if only platonically because she’s special to him. However, cracks start to show. Rory changes a lot over the period of dating Logan. She changes a lot of things that were always a big part of her character like...not cooking and not exercising. Okay while those things were small, these changes in Rory made it a lot easier to realize that Rory and Logan don’t have a lot in common. They don’t even have common interests, not really. This made me start backtracking how much I actually like Logan and before I noticed Rory changing, I would’ve told you I think he made a better boyfriend than Jess. However, if there is one thing Jess has over Dean and Logan, it’s that he understands Rory better. Rory and Jess also just kind of clicked more. Rory and Logan followed the basic steps of being a good couple, but there wasn’t much that kept me wanting them to stay together or even like them together. They were just...there.

Lane

The only love interests you really need to remember for Lane would be Dave and her eventual endgame, Zach ( Zack? The internet can’t seem to make up its mind).  From my knowledge, the actor who played Dave ended up taking a role in another show thus bailing on Gilmore Girls. Which would explain the very weak “he got a scholarship in California” reasoning for why his character was suddenly disappeared. A lot of people seemed to like Dave more than Zach and I was certainly on that boat for a while myself but I gotta say, I started finding Lane and Zach a really fun couple to watch once Lane got pregnant. I really liked the scene where they bonded over not wanting to have the baby (in a mostly comedic fashion) and it was around that point it became clearer how much the two actually have in common. Somehow the two became more compatible after having twins. Go figure.

Paris

On to Paris...can we just forget that Tristan and Fleming ever happened? Joking, joking (mostly). Paris and Tristan never dated (thank god) and therefore were never love interests, but Paris’s hard to believe crush on him was enough to be sigh-worthy. There was That College Guy She Dated During Chilton That I Can’t Remember the Name Of who didn’t really do anything noteworthy. Then there’s...eighty years old Asher Fleming. Look, I could go on about how Fleming was way too old for Paris and how problematic their age gap is, but it’s 2019 now and I’m sure every Gilmore Girls fan has both, ranted about and heard ranting of it so I’ll move on. If there is one good thing I can say about Fleming, he gives us more of an idea of what Paris cares about when considering a romantic partner: intelligence. That’s about it, which also means she doesn’t really care if her relationship would otherwise be seen as weird. She probably wouldn’t even care if the person themself was deemed weird either. Which leads me to Doyle, in my opinion, the best boyfriend out of any of the boyfriends in the series. I love Doyle. He’s strange but charming, squeamish but also capable of being a leader, and genuinely cares for Paris. While it took a few tries, in the end, Paris found someone she made a perfectly odd pairing with. I mean hey, that’s how life usually works out I guess.

Lorelai

Now we get to Lorelai, who I think had the more interesting love interests. Despite that, I won’t be getting into Max and Jason because frankly, I don’t think anyone really cares about them that much. By around halfway through the show, it becomes increasingly obvious that the only two true possible endgames for Lorelai would be Luke or Christopher.

There’s a bit of a parallel between Luke and Christopher in the sense of how big of opposites they are. Where Christopher comes and goes throughout the show, always leaving an impact after leaving; Luke is a constant throughout the show, with some major moments but often just peacefully going along with the plot. While Chris is impulsive and rushes into things, Luke over thinks himself out of things. Lorelai’s parents hate Luke but they’ve always loved Chris. Christopher is immature while Luke is arguably the most mature character in Gilmore Girls.

I was impressed when I noticed just how lined up their differences were. I wasn’t something I expected from Gilmore Girls in all honesty.

I think most of us can agree that Luke was better for Lorelai. They balance each other out a lot better than Lorelai and Chris ever could. Luke and Lorelai’s differences were also manageable so long as they had good communication. Which they didn’t while they were dating and is why they ultimately broke up in season 6. Which brings me to another parallel: the marriages. Luke and Lorelai broke up because of postponing their wedding. Chris and Lorelai on the other hand, broke up because they had rushed into getting married. I could go on and say how Chris proposed to Lorelai in Paris, the city of love, while Lorelai proposed to Luke in his diner as well. The comparisons are all over the place.

The reasoning the show gives for Lorelai and Chris not working out is because “the timing was never right”  which I personally find to be bullshit. They were always too much alike to work out. I want to say I always expected and knew Luke would be who Lorelai ended up with but I’ll be honest, season 7 gave me a good scare. I still think their ending together was weak though.

If I had to rank who had the best love interests it would probably go:

Lorelai (she had the most common sense)

Lane (went from a nice, but slightly boring bf to an asshole who became surprisingly decent once they had kids)

Paris (two duds and a real winner)

Rory (her taste was very questionable)

You know, that is considering the canon love interests.

Rory had three boyfriends, but what if there was another possible love interest in between the lines? Someone who has been by her side the whole time.

Well.

Then there’s Paris.

Paris...Again

Paris who had big, definitive goals for herself just like Rory. Who was hardworking and had a strong work ethic that Rory (arguably) had as well. Paris also has the qualities I liked the best in Jess. Paris could understand Rory’s studiousness and later on her personality in general. This also works vice versa. Pretty much every character has a hard time understanding Paris or simply downright disliking her but Rory always had a decent understanding of her even if the reasoning was something like “Oh, she’s just being Paris.”. She also makes up for my biggest problem with Jess, being moody and never communicating with Rory. Paris, on the other hand, is always quick to tell Rory exactly what she’s feeling and why.

Granted, Rory and Paris were never written to be love interests and even their friendship had some blemishes. I think the potential for Gellmore becoming a likable couple was at its highest in season three and four and slowly diminished as the show went on. In the end, Rory and Paris is a good concept that sadly works best in fanon.

Their relationship in canon was for the most part one-sided. Rory never seemed to want or need or even consider Paris’s help. I also don’t think the show drew out how the two have many similarities as well many differences (you know, the whole “you two have more in common than you might expect” schtick). I know it’s already in the show, but I would’ve liked to see them build on it more.

However, even though they would still have issues in canon, I think Paris could’ve been an improvement or just an interesting addition to the canon love interests even if she didn’t end up as endgame or had a short-lived relationship with Rory. But hey, what are you gonna do when a show was made in the earlier 2000′s.

All in all the love interests in Gilmore Girls were...okay. For the most part. Even the ones I liked had some baffling moments that I could rant about. The romantic relationships were never the part of Gilmore Girls that I think people enjoyed though. We watched for the familial relationships and dynamics that gave the show its charm.

[speakers77]

I was tagged by @jmflowers​. Thanks!

Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions, don’t cheat. Tag 10 (or however many) people.

1. Veronica Mars

2. Deadwood

3. Gilmore Girls

4. Parks and Recreation

5. The X-Files

1. Who is your favourite character in 2?

Calamity Jane. She’s a walking disaster and I love her.

2. Who is your least favourite character in 1?

Duncan Kane. What a dud.

3. What is your favourite episode of 4?

This is a hard one. I love so many, but I’ll pick “Harvest Festival” because it’s a perfect episode and Li’l Sebastian forever.

4. What is your favourite season of 5?

Ooh, this is really difficult. I have a such a soft spot for so many episodes from the early seasons. I’ll (cheat and) pick any of the first four seasons because they feel the most X-Files to me. 

5. Who is your favourite couple in 3?

Luke and Lorelai, of course.

6. Who is your favourite couple in 2?

Calamity Jane and Joanie. Love them.

7. What is your favourite episode of 1?

The first two seasons are pretty flawless, but I’ll pick the pilot because it does an excellent job setting up the series and it’s one of my favorite pilots ever.

8. What is your favourite episode of 5?

This is IMPOSSIBLE to answer. I couldn’t pick a season, how can I pick an episode?? I CANNOT.

9. What is your favourite season of 2?

Season 2, but they’re all wonderful.

10. How long have you watched 1?

I started watching Veronica Mars after the second season aired. I caught up on DVD and was so excited to be able to watch the third season live. The dip in quality felt especially disappointing.  

11. How did you become interested in 3?

Randomly watching reruns on ABC Family a million years ago and then watching the last three (?) seasons as they aired.

12. Who is your favourite actor in 4?

Amy Poehler. Leslie Knope is an iconic character and I can’t picture anyone else playing her. But also, every recurring side character was brilliant.

13. Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

They’re all such different moods! I can’t pick! Don’t make me!

14. Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3 ?

I’ve seen all of both, but probably watched more episodes of Gilmore Girls more than once.

15. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

For the utter ridiculousness and the most opposite choice, I’ll pick Jean-Ralphio. 

16. Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

Definitely. Lorelai would drive Ron crazy and Rory would look up to Leslie.

17. Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?

Meg and Mac.

18. Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

Well, they both had some majorly botched later seasons, but I’ll say Gilmore Girls. The mythology stuff in The X-Files just got too out of hand and silly after a while.

19. Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

Parks and Rec definitely.

I tag: @socks-lost, @sideadde, @heartsways, @authorette44, and @thegirl20. 

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

14. "I don’t have the words right now so here’s a kiss" -- Luke/Lorelai.

Happy fifth night of Hanukkah to my Ander.

Luke x Lorelai, Gilmore Girls. Also on AO3.

“Thanks for coming over,” Lorelai said as she escorted him out. “I’ll get Rory to help me understand my notes next week when I can’t read my handwriting.”

“Here’s an idea: type it up. Helps you remember, and takes care of the handwriting thing.”

“Good tip. Seriously, I really appreciate you talking me through everything, Luke.” She dropped down to sit on her porch, smiling over at him when he joined her.

“Anytime. It’s nice. Reminds me how far I’ve come since I started.”

“God, I can’t even imagine life without your diner. The town wouldn’t be right without it. And if Sookie and I can be half as successful running our inn, that’d be amazing.”

“You will.”

She shook her head. “New businesses are tough. It’s going to take a lot of luck, even with our obviously brilliant talent and hard work.”

“Nobody–and I mean nobody–is as persistent as you, Lorelai, when you put your mind to something. You’re going to make it happen. Believe me.”

“Thanks.” She leaned into his shoulder a little. “It’s so weird that summer’s almost over already.”

“Rory excited for school starting back up?”

“Oh, you know. She spent a week organizing her school supplies by color and anticipated level of use…and that was before our Harvard trip. She’s even worse now.”

Luke made a noise in agreement as they listened to the leaves overhead rustle. The air was starting to change, bringing the chilly autumn snap that New England offered along with colorful trees and small town festivals.

Lorelai broke the comfortable silence, her eyes trained on the carved archway he had helped her move a few days ago.

“I think you were right, about marriage.”

He followed her gaze across the yard to the chuppah and shifted uncomfortably. “I really wasn’t thinking, when I said that. I never thought you might hear it and…” Luke cleared his throat. “Well.”

“Hey, no, I didn’t mean your rant. I’m used to your rants. I like your rants.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“It was the other stuff, about only getting married once. I couldn’t stop thinking about it after we talked. That’s the only way to do it, right? Where there are no doubts. It’s what I want, to wait until I’m absolutely certain.”

He’d never intended to ask exactly why she and Max had called it off, though his policy of avoiding town gossip meant it still wasn’t clear to him. But refusing to stick his nose in on principle didn’t stop him from being curious.

Luckily for Luke, Lorelai rarely needed prompting to spill her secrets. Especially to him.

“It was me who ended it,” she confessed. “It just wasn’t…right. I wanted it to be, I wanted him to be the one, but he wasn’t.”

“You seemed happy.”

“I was! That’s the worst part, Luke. I was happy. I really liked Max. I know what you think of him, but he is a great guy. He was nothing but good to me. And I thought…well, when he proposed, after I got past the shock of it, I thought, there are worse things than marrying a great guy you like. I even convinced myself I loved him. I talked myself into it. Does that sound crazy?”

He considered it before replying. “No. No, it sounds like you.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Didn’t mean it like that.” He turned toward her. “Lorelai, listen. You love everybody. You’re one of those people who genuinely likes the world, and can be really annoying about it.”

Luke smiled, to make sure she knew he was teasing. “I know, because I’m not like that. People bother me. But you want to love them–and you’re willing to take risks to be happy. Those are good things.”

She shook her head. “Tell that to the man I just left at the altar.”

“You didn’t leave him at the altar. You broke off an engagement. It happens.”

“If it happened to you, wouldn’t you be devastated? Max will never forgive me, and I can’t blame him. I can’t forgive me.”

“What else could you have done? I mean it, Lorelai–what was the better option? Marrying him when you didn’t love him, just to avoid hurting his feelings? He’ll be okay, eventually. And so will you.”

Luke put his arm around her. “You don’t have to settle. You deserve more than that.”

She hugged him from the side, burying her face in his shoulder.

“You deserve everything you want,” he promised her.

Luke didn’t realize that they were overly close on the step until Lorelai pulled back, when she was still watching him seriously from only a few inches away. Her eyes dipped down to his mouth and lingered there before she looked back up.

It was too soon, he told himself. It was all wrong.

He knew how to be her friend. He’d gotten really good at it, supporting and encouraging and maintaining the deliberate distance between their friendship and what he wanted beyond that. He was happy just being in her life.

So it was one thing to talk her through a breakup, or family drama, or work stress. He had the script for that, and could usually predict how it would be received because there had never been anyone he knew as well as he knew Lorelai Gilmore.

But in that charged moment, Luke didn’t have any words. To stop himself, or explain it…or turn it into something else.

Whenever they froze in the middle of their usual banter, whenever they almost crossed the line, Lorelai looked not only conflicted but a little bit scared. He had to admit now that there was some fear involved for him, too. He didn’t want to lose her. He’d always been afraid to risk it.

How many moments would there be? Luke wondered, with the chuppah mocking him in his peripheral vision. How many chances would he have before she really did find it, that mysterious thing she’d been looking for since he met her–with another man?

He would lose her then, in one way or another.

That was the surge of urgency and panic that pushed him past his usual hesitation.

Sure, it was a risk. But if there was any possibility that this was his moment, the one moment they were going to get, he had to take it. Surrounded by the quiet light of sunset, Luke turned toward her, and leaned in.

He gave her time to back away, but she didn’t. Lorelai watched him, eyes wide, until their lips met.

Her little sigh before they kissed was his new favorite sound.

The timing was terrible. They would hear all about it from Miss Patty, Taylor, even Sookie. None of that mattered right now.

Pulling away, Lorelai rested her forehead against his and took a breath. With all of his worries rushing back in, Luke braced for a gentle let down.

“Babette is probably pulling out her binoculars as we speak,” she whispered. “Unless you’re ready to be the stars of Kirk’s next photography exhibit using one of those paparazzi zoom lenses, we might want to take this inside.”

He should’ve known, Luke decided, kissing her again before standing up. Lorelai had a habit of doing the opposite of what any rational person would expect. It was the most reliable thing about her.

He finally found his voice again as she shut her front door. “You, uh…you want coffee?”

“Well, Luke, now that’s a truly silly question.”

But she understood what he wasn’t saying, what was harder for him to express. He didn’t use words like she did–one of a million ways that they were different.

Some things were better than words anyway, like the look he shot her on the way to her cupboard, the affectionate hint of a grin. Or how easily he moved around her kitchen, so at home in her company it was hard to remember there had been a time before they met.

Kissing Lorelai quickly became a new kind of language for Luke, one that went beyond what he did–and didn’t–say.

Their first kiss was the most important one, though, when he stopped trying to talk himself out of loving her and she stopped trying to use nervous words to hold him back. That was when they both realized that after years of conversation, they didn’t need words at all.

[gulmoregirls]

Hey! Sorry for the lack of updates — there’s no excuse this time. I just kind of forgot to post, mostly because nothing overly exciting happened (with the hype and high point of s3 ending, the dean thing didn’t motivated me enough to come here express my hate)

But anyway, here i am! I can’t even remember when i stopped here. So, the good old recap it is.

Luke and Lorelai finally happening, little by little in s4, is everything we ever wanted. My mom was really glad, cause we are huge javajunkies here in this house. Kirk is becoming more and more my favorite character ever. He’s so extra it’s everything.

If that’s wasn’t established before, lemme make it clearer — Rory Gilmore is cancelled. She’s SO out of character, it’s annoying. College Rory is by far not what anyone expected based on previous experiences, and that includes me and my mom. Specially with the whole Dean thing. But that’s REALLY something, so I’m gonna elaborate on that.

For good part of the season Dean has been being mentioned as a good guy, rory’s sweet ex who her ex classmates remember. It’s just annoying! This entire arc with Dean makes no sense — I mean, I know Rory was a bit lost and needed someone comfortable she knew and who she knew wouldn’t challenge her enough. Just something old and familiar. BUT THE OLD AND FAMILIAR BOY IS MARRIED. And the famous smart Rory (season 1 rory) would never do such thing. It was terrible. Poor Lindsay!! She deserved so much better than an idiot as her unfaithful husband. It just disgusts me. In my opinion, it was not necessary to ruin Deans character like that. He could be remembered as the sweet first love that did his best, but instead asp made him a total jerk, and that’s the memory that sticks. And if Rory had to be so out of herself — go thru come kind of crises of something — i’d rather she had took off with jess instead. at least he wasn’t married and truly loved her. Not that wish it had happened — would be just as random as sleeping with a married guy. But between getting together with the married ex and running away with the unpredictable one, i guess the less problematic alternative is really obvious.

Before we pass to the 5th season, let’s discuss jess then. I love his evolution. Wish we had seen it more closely in his spin-off. How he agrees to be at Liz’s wedding after everything he went through with her. And the way he reads Luke’s self-help/relationship books and decides to take an action. Even tho it was kind of crazy, it shows inniciative and I’ll give him that. Ignore this if you think that’s just a jess mariano supremacist saying shit.

OKAY SEASON FIVE

Lorelai and Luke ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🤧💝

best part of the season by far.

Somehow, Rory’s relationship with Dean managed to be just as crappy as it was when he was married. Why couldn’t they just move on, right? It was annoying and the last drop that made us hate rory. don’t mind me — i can hate her and love her at the same time. She’s so stupid my crackhead heroin addicted daughter.

Even tho I’m not a team Logan, his appearance helped. He challenged Rory and made her realize that the world is more than that Dean-bubble she was in. During this season i could easily see myself as a sophies.

Then, of course, there’s the proof of how Rory can be DUMB. dropping out of Yale. Season six now.

How she refugees at her grandparent’s at the first sign of trouble and even so finds herself so independent, and the way she cuts off her mom just for wanting what’s best for her. Immature and spoiled.

Besides that, it bugs me that Logan was right there by her side and did NOTHING. Literally, the only thing he did was say that “in less than a month she would be back”. When that month passed by, he did nothing — possibly didn’t even noticed. In fact, I guess he was kind of liking her new life. After all, she did started to have more time for him. That’s probably why i don’t like their relationship (more reasons to come). Rory started to act as if she was him and completely lost track of her true self - even more than before. In her Chilton graduation she says that the person the most wanted to be was Lorelai, but she ended becoming the exact opposite, Emily. The DAR, the maids, dropping out of school, not battling for her stuff, just accepting and BESIDES THIS, acting all superior/wild and stealing a boat. THATS NOT HER. Ok, I get that she was upset because of Mitchum, but it’s not an excuse to that behavior. Plus, the real Rory Gilmore would have used his words as motivation to work even harder and prove him wrong.

In how many languages can you say THANK YOU, JESS ??????

He made her open her eyes - finally - and get her shit back together. He was so important!! And besides, the way he has made his life?? CAN YOU SAY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT????? LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE ON THE BACK!!!!

Lemme tell you, he is doing better than rory — who would have thought, right? The punk hoodlum rebel who dropped out of highschool was doing better than the private school girl straight As girl who got into Yale. And he’s happier too. Guy wrote a fucking book after several problematic life scenarios and is now working with people he likes doing what he has always loved. Ughhhh he has my entire heart.

Paul Anka, BTW!! love him 🤧😍

I also love how Lorelai proposed to Luke. They are goals. When she saw how much he cared for Rory, she was sure. In fact, maybe she was already sure, just needed a little push. And then all the signs and the snow!! I almost cried.

Now the Logan thing again. I like him — I swear!! I know it seems like i hate him and maybe i did when i first watched it, but now i see he is not that bad. But their relationship- nah. They’re annoying and rory has her weight on that, but that’s not just it. They’re cute, but there’s something missing. AND HE CHEATED ON HER. His story doesn’t match. It’s bad enough to break up with someone without them knowing. In fact, it’s REALLY bad. Rory was so confused and devastated. He should be more mature than that. Than ok, he says is just something he said Honor to make her stop talking. But then he sleeps with the bridesmaids. If he was honest with Rory and really didn’t mean it when he said they were broken up, then he TRULY cheated on Rory. If he lied about that, then he really decided that they were apart on his own. Their fight wasn’t even that serious, and he didn’t even reach out to her after that. The way she found out both times — through someone else — that is just wrong. Then he crows back buying her with money and stuff he knows she loved and she suddenly forgives him and moves in with the guy. Wrong too, ugh. Paris’ speech about Logan was everything. We deserved healing Paris and Rory growing their friendship together for more than five minutes.

I said she forgave him, right? Well, maybe not after all, because she wants a little revenge and decides to play with someone else’s real feelings. cold!! baby deserves better ); and then he gets into an accident and it’s all forgotten. ok....

just here to say that jess deserved recognition. He was the whole reason Rory came back and he did something great with his life. Still Lorelai sees him as the immature 17 yo he was. We were robbed of a great duo, them both. Their humor is really alike, a shame...

APRIL.

Poor girl, she doesn’t deserves all the hate. It’s not her fault duuuh

Asp could have made up something better for Luke this season. I think the storyline was a little non-sense and Luke, my sweet baby, gained my hate too.

Well, maybe not HATE but yeah i get where he’s coming from but it’s no excuse to lie to Lorelai and ruin their relationship. It was a pitty, really.

Then Lorelai coming to chris! what a breakdown huh? I guess it was expected, but i really hated it.

[justanoutlawfic]

Do you think ASP is a feminist?

TLDR: No, she’s not. That doesn’t mean she’s necessarily evil, though. One of the biggest moments of feminism on the show wasn’t even written by her and she undermined it with her reboot.

I think…she tries. I also think that if you excuse her of not being one, she gets way too defensive. Almost like…those people that claim not to be homophobic and go over the top in proving that they’re not?

Look, I don’t think a lot of it is intentional. I just think that she personally believes that since Gilmore Girls is a show about women and it’s primary focus is women, that automatically makes it feminist. But there’s a lot to unpack here. And I’m not trying to say Gilmore Girls isn’t feminist, at all. It definitely is, but the revival wasn’t and I definitely think there are moments that the main series was not.

I think the original ending of Gilmore Girls was actually very true to feminism. And ironically, it’s the one that Amy had no part in writing. I’m not saying that Rory getting pregnant is anti-feminism, but the fact that she wanted Rory to get pregnant right after graduating Yale, therefore putting all her dreams on hold…well…it’s about as fucked up as making Lane Kim, who was probably the most vocal about leaving Stars Hollow, end up a wife, mother and working at her mom’s store.

There are definitely feminist plot points throughout the show and the premise as a whole, seemed like it could be. A single mother who is very successful and got that way on her own, with no help from anyone, is amazing. Rory was a bright, intelligent young woman who’s focus was on Ivy League colleges. A majority of the women on the show are either business owners (Gypsy, Mia, Mrs. Kim, Miss Patty, etc.) or have really good jobs. It also shows the other side of the coin. Emily is never in the wrong for wanting to be a housewife. Ever. She went down her own path and is perfectly content with it.

But then things get muddled. I (and many fans) have pointed out that ASP is pissed that everyone is so obsessed with Rory’s love life but her character is constantly defined by men. She’s always in a relationship and that always impacts her choices. She almost doesn’t go to Chilton because of Dean, she misses Lorelai’s graduation because of Jess, she drops out of Yale because of Logan’s father. Lorelai herself is a bit better, but she is also constantly in relationships. And again, a lot of those relationships impact her choices about life and what kind of mother she is.

Women are also constantly pitted against one another. Rory vs. Paris is that at it’s finest, as is Paris vs. Francie. You cannot call yourself a feminist when half the time, only one woman at a time can win. When you only let one of them get into Harvard and have the other blame it on the fact that she had sex. I feel like with Paris, we’re supposed to view her as this bossy girl and we all know how society feels about those. Yet, in reality, I know many fans that view Paris in the opposite way that she’s probably supposed to be portrayed-myself included.

The original show ended with Rory going off on a big job. Lorelai was planning on successfully expanding her inn and the town celebrated both of them. That was a good ending. That is an ending of women supporting women. Yes, Lorelai gets back together with Luke but the main focus is “Wow, look at how far these women have come.” Again, this wasn’t even written by her. And she undermined all this progress in the revival.

Amy tried. I think deep down she truly believes that Gilmore Girls is an iconic feminist show. When at the end of the day…at most, it’s a lot of white feminism written by a white woman who doesn’t really know how to write healthy family dynamics or relationships as a whole. She is quite frankly racist and homophobic.

I love Gilmore Girls. It is one of my favorite shows. It has elements of feminism in there. I think it was groundbreaking at the time it came out and many people can probably relate to it-myself included. But it’s not a feminist show overall. And that’s actually okay. Not every show has to be.

[mmecolbert]

Did Rory ever state she’s still in love with Logan? It seemed to many like they were clinging to each other due to an inability to let go of the past and break their not very healthy ‘habit’ of hooking up, not that Rory was genuinely in love.

I’m assuming you mean in AYITL? No, Rory doesn’t explicitly state that she’s in love with him. But I mean, in the GG world that’s not really a marker of whether or not a character is in love. Luke didn’t have to state that he was in love with Lorelai for the writing, direction, and acting to make it very clear to the audience that he was in love with Lorelai the whole run of the show. Luke and Lorelai barely ever exchanged I Love You’s, but that doesn’t make it any less clear to us as the audience that they love each other. 

I feel that in AYITL we are pretty clearly shown that Logan and Rory are in love with each other. Alexis and Matt’s performances make that obvious. So does the story…they’re literally nesting in the first two installments of AYITL. If Rory simply wanted to cling onto a warm body or her past, she had Paul, with whom she was not only in a long-term relationship, but also could live with. She chose not to and instead sought out Logan. Rory literally tells Lane that Logan is her go-to person to call when she needs emotional support. She obviously imposed the Vegas agreement (as she reminds Logan of it), but she is hurt when she faces the fact that they are not more than that. That Emily’s first words to Rory (after she comes fresh off her trip to London) are that she looks in love is a big clue as well. That’s not a throwaway line, because one of the biggest questions prior to AYITL was about Rory’s love life, and we know that Rory’s not in love with Paul. I think the whole point of the Paul story line was to show that 1) Rory’s not in the head space to truly commit to anything in her life and 2) Rory’s emotional investment is with Logan, regardless of how badly I personally think the story was handled. 

The fact that Logan and Rory’s relationship is a mess and Rory’s love life in general is a clusterfuck is another matter. I don’t condone or agree with or completely understand what either one of them is doing. That said, I’d argue that their relationship is immoral, but not necessarily unhealthy. There’s no indication of any kind of abuse. There’s no manipulation. There’s nothing wrong with having a casual sexual relationship with another person, or several people, or whatever floats your boat. Logan and Rory are shown as supportive, warm, affectionate, and loving towards each other throughout. There is never any indication that Logan is in any way holding Rory back from what she wants to do in her career or life, in fact we’re shown the exact opposite. That’s not unhealthy in my eyes. Again, it’s immoral because they’re cheating on their respective partners and I assume neither Paul nor Odette consented to open relationships, but not unhealthy. 

But then again, especially when it comes to GG fandom, I’m often not on the “popular” side of any debate, so if you or anyone else reads Logan and Rory as a toxic mess and that they need to get away from each other pronto, then I’m sure there are plenty of arguments and POVs to support that position, too. I just personally don’t see it that way :/

[las-vegas-princess]

“You son of a bitch!” – My honest and long-winded thoughts about the Season Finale

If you had asked me yesterday what I thought of the Season Finale, I might not have had many great things to say about it. I watched the episode after being awake for nearly 24 hours and hyped up about it for two weeks. The first word that came to my mind was “anticlimactic”. I re-watched Season 3 over the weekend and was waiting for a huge reveal about this absolutely bad thing Robert did. Something that was so much bigger than him not returning home asap. After all, it was a mystery for two episodes and Jasper made it sound so bad. Watching the episode, I felt like nothing was really happening:

-          We did not get anywhere with Jaspenor - which was to be expected - though him finally telling her that he loves her was so overdue (even Tom was confused it was never said before). But in my overtired state, not even their conversation felt as dramatic, loving and passionate as any of the other ones beforehand.

-          And Robert, well, apart from him knowing about Liam and Kathryn and calling her a whore, there was nothing new. I expected him to have had bad parting words with his dad, meddling in Jaspenor’s relationship and we all “feared” (?) there might be something starting with Willow. Sure, him inviting Sebastian and firing Spencer (GET HIM BACK!!!) was really bad, but not this huge revelation that I hoped for. He is an asshole like I expected, maybe a bit more mentally deranged than I thought but still, I did not feel satisfied by the episode. It would have made a great mid-season finale but a season finale? Not so much in my eyes.

I knew even yesterday, that my feelings were due to me being so tired and my brain not being able to spare cells for being compassionate and excitable and I, myself, hyping this episode up so much in my head. I tried to make gifs to stay connected to the episode, but as much as I love Mark directing episodes, it’s a bitch to gif his close-ups with the E! Logo taking up half the character’s faces. So, I was even more annoyed after that and finally decided to go to sleep. Me being in Europe, meant it was 4am when the episode aired and I finally went to bed at 9am, after being awake for 27 hours. Obviously, I wasn’t able to really sleep enough (luckily, I took the day off work beforehand, knowing that I wouldn’t be in the right frame of mind to go to work) and felt disappointed by it all for the rest of the day. To get my mind off things, I decided to spent the day watching all eight episodes of Jo, starring our lovely Tom Austen. If you are even remotely interested in Tom Austen and haven’t watched it yet, you better get on it. I am no fan of Crime Dramas, even left the room when my family watched them at home, but with the right eye-candy, even I could be persuaded. The whole show is so good and Tom is delectable. Think Season 2 Jasper in unbuttoned Henley Shirts. Watching it, put me in a better mood, even though I’m a bit sad now that it was only eight episodes.

Now it’s 7:15 pm on Tuesday and I finally am calm and composed enough to give the Season 3 Finale another chance and will write down my (new and improved) thoughts on it below.

Okay, I don’t even really know where to start. I still don’t consider it the best or the strongest episode, but I like it way better now that I’m of sound mind. I think it’s easiest to once again go through all the characters.

Let’s start with Cyrus:

I am super glad that we get to keep Jake Maskall for another season. As much as I disliked him in the beginning, as glad I am about his comic relief in every episode now. Compared to Robert, he is actually quite sane and likeable. I can’t wait to see what news his doctor has for him – hopefully they are good. Two seasons with cancer should be enough for that poor soul. Wow, I never thought I see the day in which I felt sympathetic for Cyrus :D

Liam:

He really is the only one who was able to see through Robert, sad that it only comes across as jealousy to the other ones. Him going to Cyrus in the end does shows the newly determined HRH we need for Season 4. He needs a new purpose just like in Season 2. His character arc always goes from lovesick puppy in the odd seasons to fierce badass in the even seasons. He was so weak with Kathryn and broke Willows heart, it’s time for him to stay away from girls for a while. I’m still not ruling out a possible Kathryn pregnancy, depending on Christina Wolfe’s availability for Season 4. To be honest though? I can totally live without it and won’t be sad to see her go.

Willow:

The moment Robert gave her the list, I expected her to be on top. Well, we all expected it after 3x07 and their HP conversation. I do not necessarily expect her to find out what Robbie really is like, but I don’t think she will marry him. She would make in amazing queen, but not with this king by her side. She was so into Liam and he is the polar opposite of Robert – in looks and character - so I can’t see her falling for him. Sure, he can be immensely charming, but Willow is one of the few people on the show who is not after the crown. I’m also certain that Robert just saw her dumping an insane amount of tickets into Liam’s box at the People’s Gala and wants to get even. We’ve had enough love triangles this season to last for the rest of the show. So either Liam just will not give a damn or Willow will be tough on Robert and show him that she’s not to be messed with.

Helena:

BRING ME BACK SPENCER!!! I NEED SPENCER!!!!! The look on her face when Spencer hugs her and the one at the end when she realizes what kind of monster she helped put on the thrown were amazing. She needs to be in cahoots with Cyrus and Liam to bring down Robert.

Robert:

Liam might be the better king in real life, but this is a TV Drama and King Robert is the best thing that could have happened to the show. No matter if it’s true of not, I will always believe that Robbie is the one responsible for Simon’s death. This guy went mental because his brother kissed his Ex and his mum and sister are in love with the help. Planning to kill your father who told you that are the worst thing that could happen to the UK, only sounds reasonable after that. And being stuck on an island for months gives you the best alibi. (Loved that we go to have Vincent Regan back for an episode – he really is a great dad.) Robert, Robert, Robert… As much as I hate this son of a bitch (sorry, Helena), Max Brown is AMAZING! I really needed all of these episodes to come to terms with the fact that we have to live with Robert and will not get rid of him. It’s okay now. He is just the manipulative asshole the monarchy needed. And there always needs to be a character you love to hate. There is still so much that needs to be uncovered about him and I do hope we get more than one more season to find out what he is truly like. More than anything, I do hope that Len and Jasper will find out what he did.

Jasper:

If you read through the beginning of my post (and stuck until down here), you know that I’m riding the Tom Austen bandwagon pretty hard right now. To be completely honest: I didn’t even consider him good looking in the beginning of the show. I blame Season 1 hair 😄 Looking back now, I don’t know what was wrong with me back then! It might have been the hair, it might have been Jasper’s bad boy attitude which I’m not a fan of unlike the majority of girls out there or it might have been the fact that, being a Narnia fan, I was so focused on Liam that I just didn’t waste a thought on Jasper/Tom. Now I want to ride him as hard as I’m riding the bandwagon and I think my neighbors might have actually heard me squeal during Jasper’s “I love you”. I really think that there are only a few moments in which Tom looked better than during that speech. His eyes, his mouth, his stubble and damn his voice! I am such a sucker for voices which makes it so strange that I completely failed my linguistics class twice. If you are still with me after this Ode to Tom, I want to get back to Jasper. My poor puppy finally poured his heart out to his girl! And if I believe someone to just “see the girl he loves be happy” – even if it’s without him in her life – it’s him. They will get their Happily Ever After. They have to! And if Mark is not giving it to us, there is always our imagination – and fanfiction! I haven’t rooted for a couple this much since Luke & Lorelai back in Season 4 of Gilmore Girls. They need to be endgame! With a Royal(s) Wedding and beautiful little godchildren for Uncle James and Aunty Sara Alice. Speaking of James and Sara Alice, I do hope that we will get them back for Season 4. There can be no Jaspenor without their cheerleaders / pseudo-dad & fake-daughter / sister (they really have the weirdest relationship). Usually protecting the king would be James’s job but now he has Jasper and I still believe that it is the worst thing that could have happened. First of all, Robert hates him and second, he wants Jasper because “he is the best at what he does”. In Robert’s eyes that means “the best at stealing, deceiving and not caring for the law”. And Mark hinting at a possible friendship between these two just makes me throw up in my mouth. We will get to see less of Liam and Jasper together, as Liam has a new alley now, but I need them to stay BFFs. I just need that! It’s inevitable that he and Robert they will get closer during Eleanor’s absence though.

Eleanor:

I hate to see her go, but it is what’s best for her. She can’t put her life on hold for a guy. Even if that guy is Jasper. She needs time away from the palace to finally become her own person. Not influenced by her mother or her brothers. If even Jasper can’t find anything wrong with Sebastian, I will have to start liking him – even though I really don’t want to. He might be a great friend for her, but I would much rather see her hang out with Rosie and Liam. It was about time that she got the storybook and saw how much Jasper loves her, but even thought I hoped it turned out differently, I’m glad that she did not run back into Jasper’s arm. She is not a weak character and he really hurt her one too many times. Two of my all-time favorite quotes are “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” and “Home is where the heart is”. I think both will play a great deal in Len’s life during her six months away.

Season 4:

So, where will we pick up in Season 4. As nothing is written yet, it’s just a wild guessing game. I’m sure we will start 6 months later (5 months and 3 weeks to be exact). For one, so Jake can keep his sideburns, but also because we need to see how the kingdom changed under Robert’s rule. What is actually Liam’s plan? Does he want to expose Robert? Which team is Helena on? Do we get Spencer back?!!! How friendly will Jasper and King Asshole be? Is Willow actually dating Robert? For whatever reason, I do get the feeling that Eleanor will cut her hair a bit / keep it shorter than usual like Alex does at the moment. A new hairdo for a new ‘her’. It will probably not happen, as long hair just looks better on TV (and on a princess) but who knows. If it could choose what I want to happen in the first episode, I would love Len to come back home earlier as she couldn’t stay away any longer. Or Jasper keeps tabs on her via the media and even though they say she’s dating Sebastian, he sees that she is wearing his necklace… Or whatever. I don’t actually care what happens, I just want them to start filming and airing now 😄 I take everything as long as it doesn’t feel like a lifetime until the new Season.

Okay, this is WAY longer than I intended it to become. I wish I could have written 2369 words for my fanfiction in the past week. If someone here is reading my fanfiction, I’m sorry for the lack of update. For one, my family and work is keeping me from writing, but also the Season Finale and my real-person Tom Austen (who would have thought) fiction were keeping my mind occupied. Now that the season is over, I hope my head calms down a bit and I can concentrate on what is important again: give people as much Jaspenor as possible.

And now I will leave you with a picture of the possibly new Royal Family incl. Queen Wilhelmina and Jasper, Duke of “Whatever it takes to make it happen”

[frazzledsoul]

Some real blended family talk from the revival

(Disclaimer: Originally I was going to write up my thoughts on this in my personal blog and include a bunch of family pictures/anecdotes because it brought up so many personal issues for about my own crazy blended family. I decided it wasn’t a good idea, for privacy reasons. I did write a 4 part review of the revival here . It was written before I forced myself to sit down and watch the last season and a half of the show, so it’s quite imperfect, but if you want to look at it, there it is. However, I still have a lot of thoughts about this particular issue, so here they are).

I don’t think Amy Sherman Pallladino has a clue on how to write a functional blended family.

For the most part, she avoided this problem in the original series. Christopher is not a part of Rory’s life unless there’s going to be some sort of romantic payoff with Lorelai, and everyone in the family is fine with that. They don’t criticize Christopher for his parental neglect because Lorelai chose to be a single mother and this is a bright, happy show about an effervescent mom and daughter, so there’s almost zero angst attached to the situation. Luke is totally on his own when it comes to parenting Jess: obviously, the outlook is much less optimistic, but there’s no check-ups with Liz, no hammering out of the best way to straighten Jess out. The concept of two people who are not romantically involved agreeing on the best way to raise a child really didn’t enter into the equation for most of the show’s run.

And then came April . . . and the encroaching disaster inherent in that plotline.

I’m not going to go over all of that in detail, because it’s been over ten years worth of arguing about what went wrong there, but what is of interest to me is if ASP ever intended for April to be more than a vehicle for Lorelai’s unhappiness. Did ASP ever see her as anything more significant than a way to try out the other side of the love triangle (and possibly exorcise whatever issues she had with those contract negotiations?) If she had stuck around, was it her intention to actually develop the father/daughter relationship, or just have Luke angst his way through the rest of the season as the audience was more or less devoured in a whirlpool of agony and despair?

My gut feeling is no.

Season 7 is almost universally derided for the disastrous Christopher/Lorelai marriage, but I actually think that it’s a good season if you are a Luke fan. He needed to get away from her for a little while, to develop his relationships with other people. We see that with Liz and TJ and with the relationship he develops with Lane and Zach later in the season. Most importantly, I think it’s important to see what he was like with April on his own, without just seeing her as a living, breathing excuse to make Lorelai’s life hell. We mostly see him fumbling throughout the sixth season, but we see it from Lorelai’s perspective. I think in season 7 we can see that there’s a reason that he destroyed everything because he was so focused on April. We see why he wanted so badly to do a good job with this. We can see that he really loves his daughter, and that he can be a great dad. We see that he can get along with his child’s mother when he needs to, and that he’s willing to fight her if necessary. The Luke that we see in season 7 is likable and caring and devoted and willing to admit his mistakes. He’s able to redeem himself through the very relationship that ASP told us to hate and resent, because it wasn’t entirely about Lorelai. It did make him better, and by the end of the season he’s ready to try being a partner and a dad.

The reason I bring all of this up is because I don’t think ASP really understood how important it was to kind of have this balancing act, or really how to write a dynamic that actually conveyed it. By the time we get to Luke and Lorelai in the revival, these issues seem to be mostly in the past. They’ve settled into middle-aged contentment: Rory and April are grown, and it’s just Luke and Lorelai again, and his world is mostly centered around her and the life they share. They never had kids together, but it doesn’t appear to be that big of an issue until Emily brings it up. The marriage issue is still ambiguous to me, but they didn’t have a good track record on that issue and Lorelai makes it clear repeatedly that she doesn’t want to be married yet. Luke makes it clear he’s at peace with the situation and Lorelai is only beginning to question things by the time the story begins.

I am fine with all of this. I know a lot of fans aren’t, but if I am told over and over again that the characters are happy and are not being manipulated into something that they don’t want, I’m not going to second-guess it. Yes, I imagined something quite different ten years ago and I think if the season 7 writers had gotten to plan another season, it would have ended differently, but that’s not the situation we have here.

What I keep going back to is the sentiment I have heard multiple times, which is that Luke is driving Lorelai into a spiral of unhappiness (again) because he refuses to share April with her. I don’t think that’s what is happening at all. We are told directly by Luke (no subtext here!) that Lorelai decided how their lives were going to be, and that he went along with her request. Lorelai is the one that directed the course of their relationship, not him. Lorelai was the one who decided when they should be married, not him. Luke is the one declaring that he will never leave, no matter how tough things get, and that he’ll give her whatever she needs to make things right between them, no matter what their actual relationship status is at the moment. He’s the one running to her with the engagement ring that he had kept ten steps away for a decade, just in case she might ever be ready.

I don’t believe that given everything that we know about these two in the revival that Lorelai isn’t directing the way things have been arranged as far as the kid-sharing goes. Lorelai is happy with the situation until she’s not (and even at that point, it doesn’t really have anything to do with the kids). Luke is happy as long as she is, and it isn’t until she starts pulling away that he begins to question why things haven’t been working quite as well as they have for so long.

The thing is that I don’t think Luke’s insistence that he pay for April’s graduation present by himself was that weird or dysfunctional, despite whatever else is going on between him and his longtime almost-wife. In fact, I laughed when I saw that scene, because I have seen almost the exact same conversation take place between my mother and stepfather concerning my stepsister when she moved home. April is an adult: whatever influence Lorelai has on her is negligible at this point. It will make absolutely zero difference to her quality of life if Lorelai pays for this summer trip or not. Lorelai is the (quasi) stepparent to an adult stepdaughter. She can have opinions (which she obviously does, because she thinks April should get a job instead) and she can advise Luke, but she’s not the one making the decisions, and that’s actually okay. We don’t see Luke in the opposite position, asking Lorelai if Rory should be out looking for a job since she has moved home for the foreseeable future, even though he would be far more justified in this. And you know what? That’s okay, too. It’s perfectly healthy for a stepparent to have a less direct role in their stepchild’s life than the actual parent.

However, despite all this, I can’t help wishing that things had been a little different when it came to the April issue. She seemed pretty comfortable at the house and I’m certain she actually does have a bedroom there, but I can’t help thinking that Rory and Lorelai were a lot warmer to her at the town meeting in 7.18 than they were here. There’s a lot of reason why things are slightly awkward around this time period. Luke and Lorelai already are on slightly shaky terms because they’ve haven’t been completely honest with each other. Rory has moved home for the discernible future with no concrete plans in sight. She and Lorelai have reverted to their junk-food-and-pop-culture routine, which can be cute at times and also can be incredibly annoying, and it definitely crosses the line to incredibly annoying at this point. It’s almost as if they’re trying to revert to the dynamic they had when Rory was in high school and ignore the fact that her career’s in shambles and she has no plans to fix it. All of those things could be responsible for the stuff that we see, but I also think ASP doesn’t know how to write it any other way.

In my head, the implied ending will make things better. I actually really like the idea of the middle aged couple finally getting their shit together just in time to welcome a new generation. I wish it could be under more stable circumstances, but hey, no one asked me. I think it will bring the family closer, make them the meshed unit they haven’t quite been until this point, and that includes the hipster stepdaughter and the unexpectedly buff hipster nephew, no matter which team Rory settles on. This happened much in the same way for my own family: we didn’t really bond until my nieces were born. This stuff is hard, and it takes time for a family to be a meshed unit. 

However, if ASP really wants to write that kind of happy ending, perhaps she’d better give David S. Rosenthal a call. I don’t think she’ entirely capable of doing it by herself.

[scoopsgf]

I just came by to say that the new chapter is currently making my heart ache and I recognized some of the teasers you once posted on your blog from it, and is it weird to say that they make my heart ache even more now that I have the full context of what they're about? I already felt a lot when I first read them but reading them again in this chapter in between the parts that they connect is so amazing and at the same time /so/ emotional. I also love how you nailed the feeling of complete uncertainty and even loneliness because of the new surroundings in Jess's life. It really does feel like you captured the mood from "Streets of Philadelphia", where the song doesn't sound completely despondent of hope but the lyrics go in a different direction from that, and that's exactly what the mood is when Jess is left alone in his new room after Luke leaves. Also, the contrast between Jess aching for Rory and knowing and feeling like she's the one for him in his life, and the reality of the situation being that he knows how he hurt her and doesn't want Lorelai to mention him in front of her because of everything he did and trying to stay away from her, ugh my heart. I'm a bit more neutral when it comes to how Jess handled things in the sense that I feel so much for him and in the state that he was in when he did that, but at the same time it doesn't completely excuse it, especially from Rory's side since really, she didn't know and she was hurt that he didn't tell her and then left. And I love how even when Jess seems to be so sure about his feelings for her, and thinks of her as "the one" for him, he doesn't try to bother her and even does the opposite by making sure that even his name isn't mentioned to her because he knows that she felt hurt. I'm not a fan of when characters inadvertently put pressure on someone by being all "I'm the only one for you and you will see that!" like first off that's not your decision to make, it's theirs! It's one thing to consider someone else as being the one for you but it's another to try and convince them of that for themselves, and I love that you don't do this even when obviously, Jess as a character never really was like that. Even when he went to her dorm at Yale, once Rory said no he backed away, and that experience is reflected in his way of thinking in your fic.

HELLO?????? I LOVE YOU HELLO??????

also oh my god exactly. like, his love right now is this quiet thing that just aches all the time, but even if she’s “the one” for him, he’s pretty sure he’s not her “one” — at least not right now. everything that he’s doing right now is obviously first and foremost for his own wellbeing, but I think subconsciously he’s still kind of doing it for her, or maybe because of her is a little more accurate. rory was one of the only people to actually believe in him and to stress his potential, and so it makes sense that the inspiration of all of this would be her. and him keeping his distance and respecting her decision to not want to see him,,,,,ugh it breaks me. obviously it’s a good thing that he’s respecting that like you said, but FUCK! it hurts <3

also YES pls i really wanted to nail that feeling of being well and truly alone but having someone (an adult) to miss. I think before this, while Jess was on his own, he a) had Constance like, down the hall and b) wouldn’t really let himself miss Luke, but now he can and. god. i just love the two of them so much i love them.

anyway oh my god thank you for this i adore you???????? im sending you MANY kisses and hugs!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo