#also i haven't gotten a full night's sleep in forever

[frikatilhi]

I am so tired

[drippingmoon]

Get Reacquainted

Thankee both for my new song obsession (home to me) and the tag, @blind-the-winds🥰❤ been a while since I've done one of these, let's-a-gooo

Last song: Dreamcatcher, a multi-Halo medley. Not exactly the vibes I was getting from the OSTs, aka tight corridors and death chasing you down them, but I'll admit sleeping grunts are hella cute<3

Favorite color: grey, and I got on Sunday a grey sweater that makes me very happy

Currently watching: technically Aliens, which is a rewatch, so I absolutely wanna put Interstellar here because new favorite movie ever, been sleeping on it forever, and there's something about the music, the Endurance spinning, and done fucking up on the water hell planet because of gravity that made me feel as if I wasn't in the room anymore and?? Gods that movie. Tapped right into my space brainrot. How they explain wormholes. Gargantua??? I've rarely felt so seen as with this movie😭👌💞

Currently reading: about to start The Science of Interstellar and I'm super hyped about it because, hint hint, it's gotten me so soft about black holes again I have to get my hands on everything. Making research a pleasure☺🤩

Spicy, sweet, or savory: spicyyyy, rawr

Last thing I searched online: a lot of fact-checking for the thingie I'm translating, Veracruz being the focus, and a lot more info on dental works than I ever wanted to know tbh

Last thing I searched for writing purposes: organic weaponry, uhmm, uh, nothing to see here. Nothing at all:D I'm also disappointed about the general lack of answers, and I refuse to believe nobody's ever went down some particularly wacky rabbit holes

Current obsession: all of the above, these paprika chips I haven't had in ages, @sleepyowlwrites 's Mike and Harvey because hell yeah top tier hurt and comfort and giving me brainrot about some guys I've never even seen on a screen, but that's Sleepy magic; and I've also had the most exceptional time reading @sleepy-night-child 's Feather duology, whiiiich I'd been losing my mind over for years, and reading it in full? From cover to cover? Dream come true, and they're forever my soft babies with their sweetness and their constant honey mooning and making me laugh loads💙💜 and, it also meant I did not want to finish the books. Which is happening for a second time right now because😭 I'm about to finish rereading AoS. So absolutely and definitely Madigan and Spica, those guys have my whole heart😭❤ we finally also got Madigan to tell him he'll always have a home with him, and after 200k of getting maimed, standing back-to-back and Madigan defo coming to terms he's Spica's family, FUUUCK, I do not want this story to end, ever😃👍

Open tag, as always, from me! Come catch up, or gush, or anything<3

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

Red-Haired Shanks headcanons

This is mainly based on the live action continuity, where nothing has (yet) been told about Shank's past. When I mention his old crew's captain and first mate, though, the manga/anime fans will know who i'm talking about...

*****

🧑‍🦰 He got his red hair from his mother, who was a dancer; she died when his child was four. Shanks still thinks he remembers the scarlet mane reaching down her hips, and how she danced in the house holding him in her arms, but since he was so young, he fears those images are more fantasies than memories.

🧑‍🦰 He was born in a tiny village in the East Blue, not unlike Foosha but located in the hinterland of the island. He ran away from home at seven to escape from a violent stepfather, walked a whole day to the nearest port, and hid on board of the first pirate ship he found. He was able to stay hidden for four days, stealing food from the galley and sleeping in the hold.

🧑‍🦰 Then, the first mate found him; they were already far from the coast and Shanks feared they would throw him overboard, as is common with stowaways, but the captain let him stay as a chore boy. The man never had to ever regret his decision, and Shanks became a full member of the crew on his fifteenth birthday.

🧑‍🦰 He never went to school. It was the first mate of his old crew who taught him to read, write and count, and then everything a sailor, and a future captain, had to know.

🧑‍🦰 Buggy and Shanks were the sort of friends who argue all the time but would always and in any case defend each other. Shanks was soon aware Buggy's feelings for him were shifting from deep but simple friendship towards something else; not reciprocating, and hating he was going to disappoint his friend and break his heart, Shanks decided the best thing he could do was put some distance between them, hoping Buggy's feelings would lessen and they could go back to being friends. Unfortunately they didn't, and Buggy had the impression his best friend had gotten tired of him and was now avoiding him; this broke his heart worse than any love disappointment ever could, and their friendship broke soon after.

🧑‍🦰 Shanks doesn't get embarrassed easily, but when he does, his whole body blushes, the redness spreading to his whole face, his chest and even his tummy. Hence his youth nickname, "The Lobster". Buggy was the one to give it to him, and he was the only one Shanks accepted hearing it from.

🧑‍🦰 He can wear earrings on both sides. He doesn't wear a piercing, but he also has a third hole, the result of a night of debauchery he barely remembers when he was twenty, on an intimate part of his anatomy, that no one in his crew has ever seen.

🧑‍🦰 As an adult, Shanks had to recognize he could have handed things better; when he tried to talk to Buggy, the other refused to listen, embarrassed and heart-broken at the thought his feelings had been (and still were) unreciprocated. He refused Shanks' offer to join his crew, which broke Shanks' heart; the two haven't spoken since Shanks and his men entered the Grand Line to look for the One Piece. Each of them still considers the other their best friend, but their relationship has soured forever.

🧑‍🦰 Shanks can't have children, because of an illness he had in his youth; his ship's doctor told him after a routine visit. He never particularly wanted to become a father, not to mention a pirate ship is not a safe place for a child, but sometimes, when he looked at Luffy, he couldn't help wondering, and fantasizing...

🧑‍🦰 He first met Mihawk in an inn; he was more than a little tipsy, and he got dared by his men to seduce him. Obviously it didn't work, but when Mihawk, annoyed, threatened to cut Shanks in half with Yoru if the other man didn't leave him alone, and Shanks didn't even bat an eye, the swordsman was intrigued... and secretely disappointed the other man had approached him on a dare.

🧑‍🦰 They both consider the other a good friend; the only difference is that Mihawk couldn't utter those words even under the threat of death... and he has so few friends the term good is relative.

🧑‍🦰 Shanks Is biromantic-demisexual. He finds it easier to sleep with men, but he has so few opportunities to meet and form an emotional bond with someone new, he hasn't had sex in ages and is fine with it. He occasionally masturbates and is so vocal he could be heard by the whole ship (which is something no one wants) if he didn't hide his face in his pillow.

🧑‍🦰 He has a surprisingly low tolerance for alcohol, with two being his limit most of the time. He is an happy drunk, the kind to sing, dance and kiss whoever is not quick enough to get away when under the influence; he feels horrible when hangover but recuperates quickly enough.

🧑‍🦰 He considers Benn his best friend together with Buggy, as well as the older brother he never had. When they were younger, one night Shanks got completely plastered, kissed him and clumsily tried to take him to bed. Benn sighed, carried Shanks to his cot and held his forehead while he puked into a bucket. They never spoke about it again, but Shanks was secretely relieved, and ashamed of what he had done even though Benn had already forgotten.

🧑‍🦰 His favourite food is meat - any kind, as long as Lucky Roux is the one cooking it.

🧑‍🦰 He likes to sing, especially with the rest of the crew. He couldn't carry a tune to save his life.

🧑‍🦰 Shanks has met Zeff twice.

🧑‍🦰 His amputation wound stopped hurting relatively quickly, but ten years later, occasionally Shanks feels as if he still has his arm, so much that he instinctively tries to use it to grab things or open a door. A couple of times he even tried to clap.

🧑‍🦰 He is not less strong, dangerous or capable than before losing his arm; rather he is even more so, because people who see him tend to underestimate him.

🧑‍🦰 He wears sandals and pants with elastic waistband because tying shoelaces and fastening buttons is hard when you only have one hand; nevertheless, occasionally he still wears button-up shirts... sometimes unfastened down to his navel.

🧑‍🦰 He killed his first man when he was twelve, to defend himself, and he was horrified. He has never killed a man without a good reason.

🧑‍🦰 Some say he loves Luffy because he sees himself in the boy; he doesn't. He loves Luffy (among other things) because he knows the child has the potential to surpass him.

🧑‍🦰 His dearest memory, besides the ones that concern Luffy and his mother, is about that time at sixteen he saw a mermaid jumping out of the water. Someone (including Buggy, who was jealous he had seen nothing) told him it had probably been a large fish or a seal, but the captain believed him.

🧑‍🦰 The worst moment of his life, even worse than the loss of his arm or his first kill, was the day he had to euthanize a man of his crew. The man had been wounded during a battle, the doctor had told Shanks he was beyond help but it could take him days to die. Shanks told the doctor to distract the patient, he pressed the barrel of his gun to the man's chest, and shot him in the heart. It was the only thing to do, many of his men told him, the most humane, the one his victim himself would have chosen, had he had the chance. It was also the only time in thirty-two years Shanks regretted having pursued his dream to become a pirate.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Have you read the Maiden Lane series? I know is a long one so I was wondering if you could rank them? I have only read up to book 5

Omg YES. I love Maiden Lane. It's so good. An all time favorite series of mine. I will say: I haven't read Wicked Temptations a) because I hear it's kinda different from the others, not surprising because it's a first book and b) it took me forever to find in paperback (I mean to be fair I could've totally gotten it on eBay lol, but I forgot and I finally found it at a used bookstore) it's never in any of my library systems in paperback or E, and I didn't want to get it on my kindle if I could possibly find it on E. c) Now I'm down to two full length Hoyt historicals and she's a top author for me, so I'm kinda saving it.

But yes, of the ones I've read:

Thief of Shadows--I find this to be an incredible book, it has my favorite virgin hero of all time, I love the emotionality, the lack of a magic baby, an incredible hero/heroine dynamic. I will never not love this book.

Scandalous Desires--another one I just adore, it has one of my favorite "rakish her/moral heroine" dynamic. I love that she is very pure but she's not a virgin. I love the baby in this book, rare for me. I love the pirate ship setting. The way she says "I love you" during sex and he climaxes IMMEDIATELY lol.

Duke of Midnight--this is apparently a controversial but brave opinion, because Maximus is a SUPER alpha, kinda major asshole hero. I just love the quiet but firm way that Artemis responds to him, and his totally deluded dirty talk (he calls her Diana, he tells her while he's literally inside her about how he's gonna keep her in a hunting lodge and shit lol), the sex scenes are FIRE. The line "take my come for it's all I can give you" is WILD and I adore it. Also, HE IS THE NIGHT!!! AND HE HAS A GEORGIAN HOME GYM.

Sweetest Scoundrel--I really love a hero who seems like a rogue but actually has a deeply good and gentle heart once he realizes that the heroine isn't as tough as she seems, and Asa Makepeace IS that. I love that he's so respectful of Eve's boundaries while also really admiring her emotional strength and willingness to try new things with him. Also--that carriage scene? GIRL. GIRL. ICONIC.

Duke of Sin--I just really admire the absolutely insanity of this book. I also enjoy a villain hero who really doesn't reform at the end. He's just in love. He still does villainy, but he's found love and he prioritizes his love. Also, Bridget, similarly to Artemis, watches his carnage and goes "Well" which is a thing I have a weakness for. Just a heroine shaking her head and being like "I don't know what I expected.

Dearest Rogue--this one is really sweet, especially by the bananas standards of Maiden Lane. I love a bodyguard romance, and I also appreciated the fact that the heroine was blind and a good bit younger than the heroine but not infantilized. Plus, it's a good roadtrip romance.

Lord of Darkness--a "put a baby in me" romance, which I ALWAYS love. I love that this one has a mild-mannered professor type hero who like, wears spectacles and a "Night Before Christmas" sleeping cap lol. But he puts it DOWN. After an initially awkward encounter. I also love an initially awkward encounter.

Duke of Pleasure--the Return of the Ghost of St. Giles, one of the truly wildest "fakeout makeout" (except it isn't fake and is waaaay more than a makeout lol) scenes, and a cross-dressing heroine initiated into the sensual world~ by an older man. So fun.

Notorious Pleasures--controversial for cheating reasons (and Maximus is introduced and... really doesn't come off well lol) but I find it so fun. Very illicitaffairs.mp3, kinda low stakes compared to a lot of the other books, a solid romp.

Duke of Desire--this one is VERY dark and very intense, and while I think it's a beautifully written recovery book, I found it a lot heavier than Sweetest Scoundrel. Which isn't a wrong move, but it is a very sad, very emotional book you really need to be in the right emotional place for.

Darling Beast--I really need to reread this one, because I don't know if I was in right mood for it. And I do appreciate the interplay between the hero and heroine, the fact that the heroine has a job (and is an actress) and the fact that they can't speak to each other for a good while? Like I said, really need to reread.

But overall, even a mid Maiden Lane book is better than a lot of other historicals. Elizabeth Hoyt just has IT. I love the fact that these books are often about more working class or middle class characters, not just the nobility. I love the big, ambitious, wacky plots. I love the heat factor (she writes a great sex scene). It's just great.

[novantinuum]

wip ask meme: "taste of ordinary" chapter 3, "white noise," and also you know i've gotta ask about the ford in hyrule fic LMAO 💜

Thank you friends! Piling all these asks in here since many of you are curious about White Noise, ahah. Which is lucky, because that's one I am actively working to finish right now and finally got a proper title!

Aight lemme dust off my wips...

_

Taste of Ordinary Chapter 3:

Okay, so this one is like. Gosh. Portions of it are SUPER old, and that's why it's been taking me forever to finish it, but this story is overtly the first bit of SU fic I ever started to write, predating even Crack the Paragon. But the gist here for the final chapter is that- while Steven goes to spend the weekend with Connie in the hope of enjoying some Gem incident free time away from home- he's sorta hit with the realization that he'll never really be able to completely separate himself from this reality of his life. From the reality of all the consequences that his mother's war left for him.

I have a fun Steven and Connie solo (no CGs to help!) fight sequence planned for this chapter, because... well...

“Aww come on,” he whines, “another corrupted Gem now? Haven’t we bubbled like, a thousand billion of you already?” She shoots to her feet, already taking the offensive. “Um? Shouldn’t we—?” His lips press into a flat line. Deep inside, the months and months of repressed annoyance and stress and frustration coursing through his veins boil over. He extends his free arm and summons a large bubble to envelop the pair of them. Thoroughly satisfied, he situates himself on the log again and stubbornly crosses his legs. “Y’know, after all the days you corrupted Gems have interrupted my quality time, I’ve decided you can hold your horses!” he says with resolve, pausing to lick at his treat. “I’m finishing my ice cream first.” At his side, Connie pales. “What? Steven?!” The corruption howls, slamming her claws against the pink translucent barrier. “Oh, double-fudge rocky road,” he whispers, gently caressing the side of his waffle cone as he purposely tries to ignore the unholy racket outside his bubble. “You’re my only light in a world full of darkness…”

White Noise:

So, I don't want to give away TOO much of the actual body of this one, because it's not going to be a particularly long fic, but this is a sort of coda to the SUF episode In Dreams. I've had much of the dialogue sketched out since the night that episode aired, but just haven't gotten around to fleshing it out until now.

I think it also acts as a bit of a companion to my fic titled Second Skin, the one that explores Steven's growing understanding of his "pink mode" across the epilogue. There was once a time where I considered outright putting it in that fic, but I ended up scraping that idea because I wanted to maintain the (mostly) steady downward spiral of Steven's own mental state in that one, and this particular story ends on a rather sweet note. It just felt like it wouldn't fit, and deserved to be expanded into its own thing.

I will share a few snippits of dialogue. Some of it is already fleshed out, some of it is still just notes.

"So, have you always glowed pink in your sleep like that?"

“I don’t need to be fixed!” he insists, almost feeling sick to his stomach as that damned glowing pallor rises under his cheeks again anyways, a rote betrayal of all his futile claims. “Didn’t we just decide that’s the whole point of us hanging out now? That we don’t have to fix anything anymore?”

(Surprise hug.) “Steven? It’s okay if you’re not okay.” (She says it in such an understanding manner.) “Sometimes… I’m not okay either."

Ford In Hyrule:

I'd still like to do something with this at some point, because I feel like Ford getting hurled into Hyrule would be PRIME material.

But basically, this is an excuse to have a completely external to all the chaos character commentate on the wild Bullshit Hyrule is dealing with and be a nerd. I think Ford would totally geek out over guardians and ancient tech and do THE most dangerous shit to get his hands on ancient cores for his weapon design. With this crossover in mind, I have the silly thought that a giant ancient core actually ends up as the power source for his quantum destabilizer.

Here, have a bit of one of his journal entries:

Journal entry #8539 Day 2 At first glance, this world is a vessel of stark contrasts. A barren land, strewn with ruins of a civilization long past… and yet irrevocably alive. The wide bounty of wildlife, so similar to the creatures of my own dimension in form, are no doubt the true rulers of this place. Thick young-growth forests blanket these rolling hills all the way to the horizon, practically bursting at the seams with deer, wild boar, foxes, squirrels, and wolves. A diverse variety of avian species populate the vast skies. If I’m honest, such unfettered freedom amidst the local fauna is not a sight I often see in a lot of the more technologically advanced dimensions I frequent, and that saddens me. There’s just something so ephemeral and intimate about observing the daily routines of critters in their natural habitats. (And it’s a large reason why I began my cryptozoologic research in the first place.) Of course, as I mentioned briefly in my last entry, the crumbling remains of former houses, barracks, and marketplaces (among countless other facilities I cannot even begin to guess the purpose of) exist as gaping scars amidst this otherwise pristine wilderness. While the broad grasslands I currently traverse certainly seem peaceful on the surface, all the lingering rubble and rust paints a dire picture of this realm’s history. Dented, tarnished swords lay long-abandoned in the dirt. Scattered humanoid remains pepper the edges of settlements like garish confetti. Certain structures are now housed by small troops of tribal, flat-nosed creatures the likes of which I have never seen, a species which must be unique to this dimension. Since these were the first tool-wielding creatures I had encountered in this world, I briefly considered making contact to learn more about their customs and capacity for communication, but after observing their nature from afar for quite some time, I determined it unwise to approach. While seeming endlessly loyal to each other, this species quickly proved to be intensely territorial upon the approach of those who were not a part of their tribe. I watched them all take arms against a lizard-like creature who made the mistake of hunting too close. Suffice it to say, that lizard was not long for the world. I shan’t be making the same mistake.

[eldritchsurveys]

1169.

What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? >> Nothing bad has happened to my phone since I've owned it. What are your plans for tomorrow? >> I don't have any plans. I expect Sparrow is going to want to play my BG3 install, so I can't make any plans because that pretty much takes over my whole day. Have you ever been with someone while they were throwing up? >> Sure.

What kind of outfit are you wearing right now? >> Joggers and a t-shirt.

Would you go out in public right this moment? >> If I absolutely had to, I suppose, but otherwise... no? I'm happy being in my room.

Who was the last person you talked to on instant messenger? .

Have you ever done something illegal with a family member? What about with your best friend? .

Would you rather get high or get drunk? >> Get high.

Would you rather get pregnant at too young an age or never be able to reproduce? .

What was the last thing you cooked? >> I haven't cooked anything in a while, so I don't remember. What were you doing 45 min ago? >> Scrolling my tumblr feed to see what I missed whilst I was off doing other things.

What will you be doing in 20 min? >> Either still doing this survey (sometimes they take way longer than I think they would by looking at them) or back on tumblr.

What did you do yesterday? >> Mostly I watched Sparrow play BG3. But I also did my laundry in the morning, avoided the inspection guy by going to the store because I hate having people in my house so I'd rather just not be here when they are, and started a BG2 playthrough.

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? >> I did not. I usually don't.

Have you ever gotten alcohol poisoning? >> I haven't.

Are you in a good mood right now? >> Meh.

What’s the hardest thing you have done all week? .

How did you feel when you woke up today? >> The malaise was settling in.

Do you want to see someone at this very moment? >> I do not.

Think of the person who has hurt you the most in the past year, who is it? . Do you think two people can last forever? . Do you find it in your heart to forgive? >> I just am not interested in forgiveness. I don't see the point.

Last person you talked to on the phone for longer than 5 min? .

Are you a morning person or night person? >> Morning. Did you go out or stay in last night? >> lmao

Who was the last person in your bedroom? >> Sparrow.

Are you afraid to tell your true feelings? >> Of course I am. When has that ever gone well?

Can you honestly say you’re okay right now? >> Yeah, I'm okay. How has this past week been for you? >> It's been... a week? I have no idea how to condense the experience of so many hours into a few words.

Do you do your own laundry? >> Sure.

Do you currently have a hickey? >> I do not.

Did you ever lose a best friend? >> Not to death, but yes.

How many piercings do you have? >> Three.

Do you bump into someone’s arm if you want to hold their hand? >> I do not do this. Are you listening to music, if so, what song? .

Favorite part of summer? >> The copious amounts of sunlight and the warmth it brings.

Where was your default picture taken? .

What is your middle name? >> Shadow.

What color underwear are you wearing? >> Black. What color shirt are you wearing? >> Black.

Ever had a near death experience? >> Possibly.

Have you ever kissed in the rain? >> I have.

What is your natural hair color? >> Dark brown.

Could you handle living with the last boy you texted? .

What are you excited for? >> I am not excited for anything.

Have you been to the beach this year? .

What makes you happy? >> Argh.

Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? >> Sure.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed? >> Perhaps technically, but it would be hell and I don't see the point of putting myself through that when I can just. Smoke weed. :V

Held hands with anyone in the past month? >> I have not.

Would you put your life on the line for anyone? >> I would not.

When’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong? .

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? >> I don't think that, but I suppose it's possible I'm wrong.

Are there any bruises/cuts on your body? >> There aren't.

How late did you stay up last night? >> Midnight.

Do you want someone to call you right now? >> Absolutely not.

Are you a loud person? >> I prefer not being loud, but sometimes it happens.

Are you a shy person? >> I am not.

Does it take a lot to make you cry? >> I don't think so.

If your parents didn’t like the person you were dating, would you lose them? .

How’s your heart lately? .

How was Saturday night? >> I assume it was uneventful. Will you be in a relationship in 4 months? .

Are you tan? >> I'm darkskinned. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? .

Think a lot before you fall asleep? >> Meh.

[lettalady]

For the fic writer ask game! 😊

🔮, 🚀, 🍬, 💕, and 💛

[ Fanfic Writer Ask Game ]

ooooh sorry darling I didn't see this ask last night! I'll take a stab at it today!

🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?

Oh I'm so very probably not the person to ask this.... Nobody look at the pile of WIPs sitting in the corner booth casting accusatory looks my direction as I play with a new cast of characters. Ooooh. But maybe being willing to play with new WIPs and concepts and characters is the way to battle back against a blockage? (I've also taken to muttering: holy shit two cakes.)

🚀 Do you like to outline your fic first or create as you go?

I tend towards a mixture of both, at least when I've gotten something that's gripped me in a way that pulls me towards something more than a blurb or (ahem, extended) oneshot. Usually the case is that I'll have these moments of dialogue or plot points that establish the arc, and I'll scribble those down in a doc or notebook just to see if sleeping on it will change the sequencing. From there I tend to let the characters take the wheel and see if they'll cooperate or venture off on a plot of their making. (... this is not necessarily a path to being sane/ method I would recommend if you need structure and for the characters to follow it exactly as you maneuver towards the middle and end, but it's fun all the same.)

🍬 Do you write for multiple fandoms? If yes, what is your favorite fic of yours for each fandom?

I live in fear of the form of media I consume that pulls characters from the screen or page and they set up camp in my head. That being said, it's so much fun to greet new characters and figure out what story I want to tell from them/that particular fandom. Currently still have running ... we'll call them major WIPs... in the following fandoms: Tom Hiddleston (including characters/ AU versions of the actor), Chris Evans (including characters/ AU versions of the actor), Daniel Brühl (including characters/ AU versions of the actor, two of which haven't been posted yet). *I do play in other fandoms with little blurbs but haven't been sucked into creating full stories... yet*

Fav TWH fic is a tough one cause I adore the various works for different reasons. I'm in an angsty mood today so let's go with Unsettled. Fav CRE fic is A Turn of the Knife, cause Ransom is a menace. Fav posted DB fic is LJH... The Baron & The Dove? No... wait... Who We Were Before. Cause reasons.

💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I could sooner pluck a star from the heavens than point at any single one and say that one above all others. There's too much of me in each of them.

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

Forever and always learning, but I think thus far it's: enjoy the journey. Do the research, make the gifsets, compile the photos and songs that inspire words or just remind you of the characters. It's not time wasted because it brings you joy.

oh oh oh, also: don't trust your brain to remember. WRITE IT DOWN

[ honorary mention to: don't delete, just move the idea to *unused, as of yet* and move on ]

[casspurrjoybell-29]

Healing Ties - Chapter 45 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

They moved a lot faster now that Harrison was with them.

He set a mage on each of his broad, hairy shoulders and his long stride greatly increased their pace.

Yore followed in wolf form.

Everything hurt but he was determined not to be the one slowing them down.

Life had been painful before but it felt different now with the promises Fanner had made him in mind.

One day, be it months or years from now, he might once again know what it was like to lay in a lover's arms, truly relaxed and free of pain or worry.

Well, pain, anyway.

He would still have his responsibilities and they made having no worries a distant fantasy.

That was fine, though.

Worries and responsibilities had their place in life and he was well practised at managing them.

It was Fanner and Duran who were the ones to finally ask to stop for sleep, though Yore had been teetering on the edge of it himself for some time.

They'd been up nearly a full day and night by this point.

They couldn't keep going forever with no rest.

They found a lake to set up camp next to and while the rest of them were still gathering sticks for a fire, Harrison plunged himself into the water and started hunting for fish.

They seemed to mistake his shaggy fur for a good place to hide and as soon as they felt safe, Harrison would plunge one of his paws in, skewering them with his claws.

He ate the first few whole and raw while still standing in the lake but then he seemed to remember the rest of them and reluctantly started tossing a few up onto the bank.

With the fire started and Harrison wading up the river that fed into the lake in search of more fish, Yore dove into the water to clean off and try to loosen out some of his joints.

The latter was a fool's errand in cool water, perhaps but he just knew that as soon as he was still for too long every joint in his body would start locking up.

He could hear Fanner and Duran talking, hear Fanner bring up, in his own coy way, that he was going to join Yore in the lake.

Duran assured him that his eyes would be aimed elsewhere.

Yore kept his back to Fanner as Fanner waded into the lake, giving him the opportunity to conceal himself beneath the water.

Yore had been naked this entire time, of course.

Nudity was normal for him and by this point the mages seemed to have gotten used to it as well.

Fanner's history was more complicated, though.

What that would mean for him, Yore didn't yet know but he had to assume the situation was a delicate one.

Yore turned just as Fanner reached him.

The setting sun set Fanner's golden hair ablaze.

His body was slender and soft and his eyes were a bright, light blue, filled with uncertainty at war with determination.

Fanner placed a wet hand on Yore's chest and watched the water that trickled down.

"What do boyfriends do?"

"That's... a broad question. I'm not sure there's a simple answer to it."

"Duran says it's just like being someone's friend, except you also have sex."

"It can be that, I suppose," Yore said. "That's certainly an aspect of it. Personally, I'd describe it more as a partnership. An agreement that the two of you are a team, tackling life together."

"Oh. Yes. I like that."

Fanner scooped more water up just so that he could trickle it down Yore's chest.

"They didn't really teach us about anything like that at Milaine House. Partners were the last thing we were meant to be. Or well. I guess we were taught to be good at being whatever someone else needed? Maybe I am qualified. Maybe the only difference is that we were taught to expect nothing in return."

"I'm not sure that's quite the same thing. You're not supposed to change yourself to be what someone else wants. Just, you know. Be yourself while supporting and being supported by, your partner."

"I'd like to be your boyfriend. I don't know if I'd be a very good one but I'd like to try. If you haven't changed your mind."

"I haven't changed my mind. I'd like that very much."

Fanner nodded.

He was silent for a long moment, just staring at Yore's chest.

"So. That means you can do whatever you want."

Yore's head tilted to the side.

"Do whatever I want?"

Fanner lifted his arms out of the water and gestured to his body.

"Ah, I see. No, that isn't how that works. Your body still belongs to you. Even if we were married, that wouldn't change. Nothing happens unless we both want it to. Unless we both give consent."

"Oh. Is it bad that I've been touching your chest, then?"

Yore let out a quiet huff of laughter.

"No, you're fine. You can touch my chest all you like." "

Okay," Fanner said. "You can also touch my chest."

Yore rubbed his palm on Fanner's chest.

"Thank you."

"Hmm," Fanner said. "A good Companion would be passive and wait for instructions unless told to do otherwise."

"Yes."

Fanner looked up at Yore.

"Can I kiss you, Yore?"

"Absolutely," Yore said as he leant down.

Fanner's lips met Yore's, soft and careful, moving with a flow that stuttered and fell apart as soon as Yore challenged it.

Every time Yore let him take the lead, he brought them back to the steady, practised rhythm, so Yore stopped pushing.

If that was where Fanner felt safe, there was no need to force him away from it before he was ready.

Leaning down was starting to get uncomfortable, so Yore sat instead, dragging Fanner onto his lap.

The water reached their chests, murky enough to mostly conceal anything below.

Fanner let out a shaky exhale as he broke away from the kiss.

"Can I touch you? I mean, you know, can I..."

"Yes."

Fanner's hand ventured under the water and snuck between them, finding Yore's cock.

Not counting the last time Fanner had touched him and Yore really did not want to count that this was the first time another person had touched his cock in years.

He let out a long sigh that ended in a groan as Fanner slowly stroked him.

Fanner's gaze was intent on Yore's face.

"What does it feel like?"

"Would you like me to show you?"

Fanner nodded.

Fanner jolted slightly at the first brush of Yore's fingertips and Yore froze, worried something was wrong but after a moment Fanner squirmed his hips and Yore tried again.

This time he didn't move away, but his ass clenched where it rested against Yore's thigh and his hand gripped Yore's shoulder.

"Sensitive?" Yore asked.

Fanner nodded.

"Maybe I should have tried masturbating first. I forgot I'm allowed to."

"You're allowed to like you're allowed to breathe. It's nobody's place to tell you that you can't or even that you can. Nobody has any authority over that except for you. Your body is yours."

Fanner's hand squeezed down on Yore's shoulder as Yore gave his cock a long, slow stroke.

"I think I like sharing it."

[fatterfigure]

A Fat Girl's Influence

There's something about her that draws you in.

The way she talks, the way she looks at you, her smile, her energy...

You can just tell that she's full of love and happiness.

She's also the biggest girl you've ever dated, easily over 400lbs.

You don't mind though, because being around her makes you feel good and she says the same about being around you.

It's only been 2 months but you feel like you've known each other for so much longer and it feels like you could talk to each other forever.

Life moves at a slower pace with her.

Whenever you go on walks, you have to consciously slow down to match her pace.

Whenever she gets ready it takes a little longer than most.

But you've gotten used to slowing down to match her pace.

Being with her has introduced you to a different lifestyle.

At home you're fairly active and disciplined with your diet, but with her it's mostly cuddling and snacking.

You've put on over 5lbs since seeing her, but you don't really mind.

Last time she came over she brought a bunch of homemade cookies with her.

She loves cooking and knows they're your favourite.

But as you enjoy each other's company, she barely touches them.

Instead she leaves them at your place for you to enjoy later.

You wake up the next day and grab a cookie to eat with your breakfast.

Nobody can make cookies like she does.

It's not just the delicious recipe but the fact that you can feel her love in every bite.

It's like the cookies somehow contain the feelings you have for each other and every bite fills you with her love.

You tell her all of this and it seems to inspire her to cook for you even more.

Leaving treats for you becomes a regular occurrence.

A few months go by and you've put on another 10lbs.

Lately when you cuddle or get intimate she caresses your new little belly and the other softening parts of your body.

It feels good and makes you more comfortable with the added weight on your body.

But then one day you get a call from work that upsets you.

They need you to go away for 3 weeks for a business trip.

It makes you both sad because you haven't been apart for more than 5 days since you started dating months ago, and 3 weeks seems like a long time.

Every day you're away you talk to each other over video chat, but at night when it's time to sleep you get lonely.

About a week into your business trip she says something to you before wishing you a good night.

"give that cute little belly of yours a rub for me, I miss fondling it"

So that night when you're in bed and feeling lonely, you start rubbing your belly and a feeling comes over you.

It feels like she's right there with you...

This extra weight you're carrying came from spending time with her and her gestures of affection.

She loves food, she loves making food for you, and she loves playing with the bit of fat you've gained from enjoying her food.

And that's when it suddenly dawns on you.

You're not just carrying a little extra weight...

You're carrying her with you.

The little bit of pudge you've gained came from her loving you.

You are wearing her love and it protects you from being alone.

While you're away you start to walk slow on purpose because it makes you feel like she's right by your side.

You buy her favourite snacks and eat them as you stream shows online together at night before bed.

Doing all of this makes the remainder of your trip go by quickly.

You don't feel lonely anymore.

But you do get some more bad news...

This trip isn't a one time thing and you will be going away for weeks at a time every few months.

When you get finally get back from that first trip, you go over to her place and she treats you with your favourite cookies.

You eat them all in one night.

"wow those were supposed to last you a few days, I didn't think you would eat them so quickly!" she says with surprise.

You ask her if she can make some more for you to enjoy at home.

Food and feeding is her love language so she smiles at you and says "I'd love to", but then she adds,

"you know if you get into a habit of eating a full batch of cookies in one sitting, you're gonna be as fat as me before you know it"

You smile and get close to her like you're about to kiss her, put your hands on her hips and say,

"I hope I do, because every inch of fat on my body reminds me of our love and I want to carry it with me wherever I go".

You kiss her.

*****************

It's been 3 years now.

You have no idea how much you weigh these days, but you're just as fat as her now.

And when you go away on business trips, you never feel alone because every moment reminds you of the love you share.

Every bead of sweat that forms on you from being so heavy.

Every jiggle that happens from even the slightest movements.

Every time you're hungry and eat.

Every time someone makes a comment about your size.

Every time you're out of breath.

Every time you're reminded of how physically slow you've become.

You're morbidly obese now but you couldn't be happier because you know it's a symbol of how much you love eachother.

And that's how you spend the rest of your lives together.

Fat, happy and in love.

[demigoddessqueens]

Hey!! I have a request for the wolf of really everyone's eye, Jake Russell. Sorry if this is a little weird from cannon, I haven't gotten through the whole special :"D Maybe something with him stumbling on a pretty injured reader near his makeshift camp? Stuck in a bear trap, pretty beat up by a night of hunters. Of course, the reader is scared and confused. But the two meet at a sort of common ground. Maybe even some chemistry is generated between the two? I also thought it be cool if the reader was modeled after a vampire. Anyways, have a great day!!

Oh of course!!

He’s just the cutest and I love how everyone just flocked to him 😆

children of the night

You cursed every old god and new as the sharpened jaw sunk into your leg. Begging for any passer by to free you or put you out of your misery, you howled and screeched.

By the time the sun had set, you grew exhausted. Voice hoarse from all the yelling, you grew tired and began to slump over from your exertions. Before your eyes closed, you saw a small shape covered by some blanket and a hulking figure making their way towards you.

As Jack carried you back to the tent, he couldn’t help but take in your features. Not that he had ulterior motives, it’s just that you were….attractive? Well, yes. Absolutely! Very much so. But if he was being honest, you were a striking individual. Such angular, noble features of yours and the ears did not go unnoticed either.

When you awoke, there was a man sitting next to you nervously fiddling with his hands. He flinched only slightly when you fired off your questions.

“Who are you?? Where am I??”

“Easy! Easy now. You were injured and I couldn’t leave you out there.”

You glanced down at the bandaged leg where the iron jaws had clamped down. Looking back between the gash and the gentleman’s anxious eyes that searched for any response from you.

“Th-Thank you….you didn’t have to do that.”

He seemed to shrug it off, albeit it came across as a bit bashful.

“I know, but still…I couldn’t let someone like you suffer in the cold.”

The faint blush was not lost on you. You saw his eyes meet yours before averting their gaze.

“Well if I’m to thank my savior, I’ll need a proper name. I’m Y/N.”

“Jack. Just Jack.”

“Pleasure to meet you Jack. Just Jack. Although I wish it was under better circumstances,” you said with a teasing laugh.

Trying to cease this newfound infatuation, he smiled back at you.

And that’s how it began. You with your jokes and banter, while sweet Jack entertained you with stories of his own and eventually introduced you to Ted. He may have seemed like a fearsome creature but he was the best bed side nurse you could’ve asked for.

In the time you grew to know each other, your leg slowly healed. And when it healed, you offered Jack your skills in tracking and hunting, at least to keep the three of you fed. Yet, you weren’t quite ready to leave. He amused you, and you grew to like him, but there was something pulling at him as he avoided you more.

You eventually got your answer. The howls ripping through the air woke you one night. The moon shone high in its full orb as you gasped frantically around the hut. You could barely sleep until you saw the hulking shape of Ted carrying a crumpled and tattered pile in his arms.

In the morning, Jack woke to you dabbing a wet cloth at his head. Throbbing from the pain and glistening with sweat, he tried to sit up before you shushed him with some water first.

You offered him a kind smile, moving the cloth to the side of his face where you slightly cradled it.

“You saved me, and I’m forever grateful for that. Now let me help take care of you.”

[3vocatio]

Hello hello! Quite fun being the one to send you an ask for once, genuinely thought you’d remain a mystery to me forever lmao >w<

Anyway! While going through your blog I saw your tags on your most recent reblog of that Solomon post that’s been going around and I have to say—I’m happy to see that you also noticed that particular aspect of Solomon and Asmo’s relationship, that Sol doesn’t particularly trust him or put him on equal footing. I don’t recall what specifically gave me this impression, but I’ve always thought that they must’ve had something of a tumultuous relationship over the years, and that it’s only gotten okay around the time of the exchange program; because even though they were on good terms, according to the relationship chart the devs published (presumably around launch which is also the the time I’m assuming that Asmo’s Chapter A cards came out?) Solomon still viewed him as a tool/toy. I feel like there were moments as well that hinted that he wasn’t super happy with how overly close Asmo was behaving in S1 but I’m not sure.

And even with more recent things like Solomon saying he has trouble refusing Asmo in S3 after you meet the brothers in the human world, I kind of figured that it’s because it’s just easier to indulge him. But maybe it’s because I personally have more cynical takes on the characters’ relationships with each other? Because after some of the hard mode scenes in S2 I found myself enjoying a less rainbow and sunshine filled reading on everyone’s relationships and that there’s still plenty of baggage that hinders full trust and vulnerability.

Then again, we have Solomon saying that he still views pacts as business deals as recently as his last birthday, with Barbatos agreeing. So maybe my less fluffy takes still hold some water >.<

Anyway. Sort of just wanted to bring up Sol and Asmo because I also hardly see anyone talk about them beyond the ship + fanservice Solmare doles out and am dying to hear more about the complexities of their relationship beyond that >.< Hello again!! Still so crazy to know your personal blog omg

welcome to my abode! truth be told, i never intended on being mysterious forever. i'm someone who enjoys the satisfaction of watching others piece the puzzle together, and it goes for many occassions; my favorite being the way my friends attempt to figure out my oc lore with what information (writing) i've cleverly set out for them to find. here are some highlights from last night with a friend who refused to sleep until they've figured one (1) small piece of lore.

it's insane to think that it all inherently connects with the obm universe (because it's [godtongue]'s lore), but can easily be it's own concept without it. speaking of her ... i haven't forgotten about your other responses! i have answers for each of them neatly placed in my priv server ready to be revisited. ;)

i think you might be interesting in reading a recent ask i sent to /@.bbnibi regarding a bit of solomon's views on demons—once they respond to it of course. you mused that solomon doesn't typically like the way asmodeus behaves, and i'd like to mention that i can recall countless of times where this is something that consistently occurs. the way solomon responds to asmodeus' “i love you!”s with a curt, “i know.”? the way he went out of his way to reverse asmo's manipulative gaze when he streamed live to his audience? in the chat for, “letter from the devildom”, solomon doubted that asmodeus would be able to send any form of sincere letter. in the audio drama with sol & asmo, solomon was intensely disappointed (but not surprised) that after centuries of knowing each other, asmo knew nothing about him while mammon did. the list goes on.

imo, the only way for him to actually ensure a good relationship with someone like asmodeus (for the sake of keeping pactmates satisfied in order for them to be more willing to commit greater acts in return) is to partake in simple acts that otherwise bring no harm. persuasion doesn't seem to happen with him. if it's in his best interest, what he'd like to do anyway, or something he consider low-stakes and maybe fun to mess with, he'll let you ‘persuade’ him. he's the gatekeeper here, not you.

this is exceptionally evident in one of s4's lessons (hard mode of lesson 69) where solomon walks in on the royals mentioning him in reference to how he holds a grim reaper's emotions in the palm of his hands.

to which barbatos acts as though nothing was ever mentioned.

i don't think your view on relationships in obm is cynical in nature at all—i think that everything is laid out before the player if they choose to see it. in this specific scenario, i don't believe that solomon considers any of the cast as close friends, even simeon. solomon went out of his way to confront simeon, dealt with his blatant denial of everything that was going on alongside his sheer disrespect towards him, and yet solomon still didn't think ill of him. he knows so much about simeon and yet, can simeon say the same for solomon?

he rarely shares personal things about himself with other people, which is a juxtaposition of sorts, because what he craves most are meaningful conversations and interactions (see: lesson 46). the clincher is that while he wants to know ALL about you, he will often hold back in sharing much about who he is and what he emotionally needs from the people around him. i can't blame him, though. there isn't anyone who is able to provide him with that in the ways that matter.

apologies for the ramble, although i know you don't mind reading longer posts ^^ after seeing a recent poll of 1k+ people on twitter regarding the popularity of characters, it irked me how solomon placed 11th due to people thinking of him as someone bland and irritating (satan placed 2nd, though). i suppose that's why i'm in the mood to talk so much about solomon—to compensate for what newer players perceive him to be.

[ssadumba55]

What Parents Do (Judy Hopps X Child! Reader)

Request: I was watching Zootopia again, and I was wondering if you could do a Judy x Child!Reader where Judy discovers a lost child/toddler on one of the missions, and Judy takes them in?

A/N: Full disclosure this probably sucks don't be too hard on me I'm getting back into the swing of writing, haven't written any longform in a minute. I thought this was a cute concept though if I messed it up I'm sorry. Also do I smell Uncle Nick content???

“They just ran out in front of the car! Nick nearly hit them!”

Judy Hopps was slightly frazzled. She’d been a police officer for the ZPD for almost two and a half years now, very little got on her nerves nowadays. She liked to pride herself on her ability to stay calm in a crisis, but this was a whole new level of upsetting for her.

While on her usual nightly patrols with her partner, Nick Wilde, the pair almost ran over a small child who had run into the road. Nick had swerved and just missed the poor baby. Thankfully, there was no traffic going the opposite way because it wasn’t a main street and it was eleven at night.

The two had climbed out of the vehicle and hurried to check if they were going to need to call medical services or someone else, but the child was barely phased. They did seem hesitant to let Nick or Judy help but after a little convincing, they rode the entire way back to the police station with them.

In that time, the two officers had learned their name was (Y/n) and they didn’t have any parents to go home to.

Now, Judy was recounting the tale to Clawhauser and Chief Bogo, so they could find somewhere proper for young (Y/n) to stay. Normally she hated working overtime, but she was really worried for the kid.

Nick had taken up babysitting duties and the two seemed to be getting along fairly well, if the laughter from the other room was any indication.

“We’ll have to get them a social worker and put them in the foster care system, but those things take time. We won’t be able to set something up until tomorrow,” the Chief rubbed his forehead, it was clear he wished he were at home right now, doing whatever it was he did on his off time and not dealing with this mess that they had accidentally stumbled into.

“Where will they stay until then?” Judy crossed her arms, she wanted to make sure everything would be alright before she headed home for the night. She still felt a little bad that her and her partner had almost run the poor child over.

Clawhauser and the chief exchanged looks, they clearly both had something in mind. Something that Judy probably wouldn’t like.

She placed her hands on her hips. “If they don’t have anywhere to stay tonight, I’ll take them home with me. That way we know they’re safe.”

There were no arguments and everyone just wanted to get home to their beds, so paperwork was pushed off until the next morning.

Judy walked out to meet Nick. (Y/n) had made themselves comfy on the fox’s lap, clearly quite content to just stay there forever. When she walked out, both of them looked up at her expectantly.

She knew she had an obligation to tell (Y/n) about the foster care and their social worker, but something in her just couldn’t do it. Instead, she lifted the kid off of Nick and smiled forcefully. The only one in the room who would be able to tell something was wrong was her partner, and she trusted him to keep his mouth shut.

Sometime on the trip home, (Y/n) fell asleep. The two adults remained in silence, partly not wanting to wake the young one up and partially just too exhausted to talk.

They went their separate ways and Judy carried the child into her new apartment. She was grateful she’d moved a few weeks prior and now had an extra bedroom for the kiddo, careful not to wake them up, she brought them through the apartment resting them gently on the bed.

“Don’t go.”

She had turned around to leave but a small paw on her wrist stopped her. She turned back around, had the kid been awake this whole time or had she accidentally woken her up on the way home.

“I’m not going anywhere, I’m just down the hall,” she smiled, gently. She was exhausted and needed rest but she didn’t want to leave the kid all alone if they were afraid of the dark or something.

“Can I stay with you tonight?”

“How about I stay with you?” Judy sat on the bed and made herself comfortable, allowing (Y/n) to also settle down beside her.

She watched them settle, peacefully falling back into sleep and she ran her paws along the top of their head. There was so much unknown about this child, where they came from, who they really were, even what they were because Judy had never seen an animal so small and meek looking. They had to be some sort of prey.

It was in that moment that Judy decided to heck with it. She’d take care of this child. If nobody else in the world wanted to care for them, then she would. It would be worth all the teasing she’d endure from Nick, the panicked phone calls from her parents, the judgement from anyone who didn’t really understand what was going on.

Who better to love someone who had suffered a great deal than someone who had also suffered a great deal and gotten past it?

She’d do whatever it took to keep (Y/n) safe, because that’s what parents do… right?

[jaehyunoos]

- Over it

Summary: You always preached about getting over your ex, real fast. But what if you haven't and you've been lying to yourself all along?

Genre: Breakup!au, angst, a tiny bit of fluff at the end

Tw?: Alcohol consumption, a mention of reader wanting to unalive herself, reader is lying to herself as a coping mechanism???

Pairing: Lee Jeno x fem!reader (brief mentions of Haechan)

Word Count: 1.7k (it's the longest I've ever written lmfao)

Author's Note; Angsty queen or what?? lmao,, HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE JENO !!!! also, my requests are open if you want to request anything I will deliver <3 if you read this I love you and thank you for reading !! Enjoy 💚

You were over him. You were sure of that. After breaking up you did absolutely everything to get him out of your mind and surprisingly enough, it worked. You got a new haircut, started a new job, took care of yourself better, and made new friends. Life was a piece of cake for you when he left, everything came to a lot easier, in which you were thankful for that. You had moved on once and for all... Or so you thought.

Finding yourself looking back at times you were with him, how happy he made you, how much of a gentleman he was, how he made you feel like you were high; above everyone, and how much pleasure he gave you, you were his muse.

Slapping yourself out of your trance, you promised yourself to not think about him anymore. This night was going to be all about you and you only. Not Jeno -hell- not even a hundred Jenos couldn't stop you from having fun tonight. You were over him and that was final.

Walking into the house; which the party was hosted. Nose filing with the writhing stench of pure alcohol, mixed with sweat, you internally gagged passing by a couple making out at the kitchen entrance, you rolled your eyes taking a beer from the fridge and making your way out to the sofa. No way you would get out of this party sober, you had to drink, you had to get wasted. In honor of this prick; Lee Jeno, your ex.

You always boasted about how you were over him and how you didn't love him anymore. How he hurt you so bad that your feelings for him just stopped. You were so full of yourself, wow you had gotten over a relationship that you thought would be tough to manage, what a surprise. But seeing him walk into this house -powerfully so- with a lady by his side smiling and hugging his friends, you started to rethink everything you've done so far.

Were you really over the one and only; Lee Jeno? Or was all of this just a front, a new way of coping without him in your life? How did you manage to lie to yourself and believe it?

You know what they say; fake it 'till you make it. But did you? Did you make it? No, the fuck you did not. You were not over him. And you wouldn't be able to get over him, ever. Today marks the day you realized you didn't move on, putting one and two together you realized that all this time you were lying to yourself, and everyone around you. The hypocrisy.

Chugging the liquid down your throat, along with the betrayal you felt, the cold liquid cooling off your insides, making you feel a lot better at that moment. You smiled to yourself, alcohol made you feel free, your coping mechanism of a real escape once in a while. You got up to your feet, straightening your clothes, you made your way to the kitchen once again. You made sure you walked past them in long, powerful strides, grabbing your beer and exiting the kitchen, the same way you entered.

You glanced at them, seeing as he didn't even spare a glance at you, you sulked on the sofa. You couldn't stop thinking about the way he held her, by her waist, as if she was something so delicate; so fragile that if he held her in his arms for too long, she would break and disappear from his arms. You wanted to cry at that moment, he looked so happy. Maybe he truly was, maybe he didn't lie to himself like you did, and he was truly over you.

Or maybe he wasn't, you liked to cope with that idea. That he was putting up a front for you and everyone, that he didn't move on from you, but only the pained ones can dream, am I right? You wanted to dip at that moment, hide forever; or die. You shouldn't have come to this party, ever. Maybe if you stayed home and kept lying to yourself that you were happy, that you were able to live your life better without him. But at the same time, you wanted to get up and give him a good old slap into his handsome face.

How could he move on that fast? Get a new girlfriend, just like that, as if you never meant anything to him, ever. A person sitting beside you, suddenly, took you out of your train of thoughts.

"Hyuck!!, hey!" you breathed out.

Lee Donghyuck aka; Haechan. One of Jeno's best friends aka; your emotional support boy, was there with you, in all your crazy times after your breakup with him. "Hey, babydoll" he came closer to your face so you could hear what he said. Babydoll. The nickname he created after he, unexpectedly, caught you crying over baby dollies once, while he was over for late nights talks.

"What are you doing here all by yourself, mi querida?" asked, him.

"I'm trying to have as much fun as I can, I have so much to do this week" you let out a fake sigh, you had no work, no classes this week. You were just creating excuses because you were gonna spend those 7 days crying yourself to sleep and eat ice cream 'til you throw up.

Haechan threw an arm around you "he's here you know" he motioned towards Jeno and his crew with his chin, you looked over there for a second, catching a glimpse of Jeno smiling. You looked down at your red solo cup, sighing, "I know, what can I do about it" you looked at his eyes this time. "it's his birthday today".

"I know, how could I forget" you smiled.

"Maybe, I don't know, go there and wish-"

"ooookay time to get up and dance" you patted his thigh as you got up.

"Gosh, why are you so stubborn, I asked you to wish him a happy birthday, not fuck him, for god's sake!!" Haechan shot up from the sofa.

You stood there for a second, frozen, what was this outburst?

"Are you out of your mind!? He's clearly over me Hyuck, and as much as I wanna go up there and give him the biggest hug I can't. I can't just barge into his life back again and be like "heeey" as if nothing ever happened between us, as if we didn't hurt each other!"

You didn't mean to burst out like that, he probably heard what you said in fact; everyone did. Tears gathering in your eyes, you ran outside, the embarrassment too much to handle. You felt overwhelmed. You felt as if everyone was pushing you all this time and you -just now- had finally reached your breaking point.

Sitting on a bench near the pool, you let your sadness, frustration, regret, lies; everything takes over you as you sobbed into your hands. You felt stupid for crying over something so small, you felt bad because Haechan was probably somewhere beating himself up for pushing your limits. You didn't mean to be that sensitive.

You suddenly felt movement beside you as if someone sat there. You took your face out of your hands and looked at the person. Gasping, you wiped your -now wide- eyes and sat straight. There was none there besides the one and only, yeah you guessed it; Lee Jeno. "Do you mind if I sit here?" he gave you a soft smile.

'It's okay, you can sit, I guess" you cleared your throat.

You looked at him as he stared straight into the sky, a soft smile displaying on his lips as he rocked himself gently, back and forth. Mimicking his position, you did the same as you looked to the front, enjoying the cold breeze. "What happened to us?" you heard him speak, you turned to him, shrugging, "I don't know".

"it's like one minute we were in love and the other we were not"

you frowned.

"true, it's just one of us stopped loving the other for good but the one who thought that she had everything under control, turns out she's still madly in love, with the other" you smiled at him.

What you said caught him off guard, his eyes went wide in shock, but he quickly recovered. "Look, don't get me wrong I loved you; a lot, heck I might still love you. No, scratch that I am still in love with you, but, I'm in a very happy and healthy relationship and I want to keep it that way" you felt yourself tense up at the word 'relationship' but you quickly covered it up with a smile "it's okay Jeno, I get it, I never really expected anything after our breakup anyways" you patted his shoulder as you continued looking at the stars in the sky.

"Hey, Jen" you called out to him.

"Hm?"

"Can I get a last hug?" you looked at him.

"Come here" he motioned as he opened his arms to engulf you in a hug.

That's what it felt like hugging your whole world.

Finally. She felt as if she found her peace again. Her safe haven. After all the pain, the drama and deceit, the chaos and despair, there was rest. She felt once again the warmth and safety of his arms and how his hands held her as if he had known her all her life. She was finally home.

"She felt as if she found her peace again. Her safe haven." But that only would last that long as Jeno had to go back home to the safety of the arms of his girlfriend, and she had to go back to an empty home, an empty world, cause that's what her world felt like without him; empty. She wanted him back in her arms, she needed to be in his arms, but it was too late for that as Jeno went back to his girlfriend and she had to go back home, full of regrets. She was not over him and she chooses to ignore it and the more she ignored it the more further away Jeno slipped from her arms to the arms of another.

[big-tiddie-squad]

I did it again.... 😶🤫

The Tease in the Recording Studio

"Try it again, but more seductive. We're going for a sexy vibe for this song, you have to make them feel like YOU want THEM." The producer in charge of the recordings offers. "You've got this, the fans already want you. You just need to give a little extra back to them."

Bangchan runs his hands through his hair. He's been singing the same part over and over, bringing forth his most charismatic personality, but Ms. Park says it's not enough after every recording. "Alright," he sighs, "let's try it again." He puts the headphone back up to his ear but you can see he's tired and confused on what she wants from him now.

"No problem, have a quick drink and we'll roll it back and start at the beginning again." The woman watches Chan through the glass studiously, then turns to you to apologize, "I'm sorry we're taking so long Ms. Y/L/N, but the job isn't done until it's perfect. I know you've been waiting here awhile but I appreciate you being patient with us. It shouldn't take much longer."

You always liked this recording producer. She was brilliant at her job and she's also very sweet and always allowed you to sit in while recording when you got bored of waiting at home. "It's fine! I understand completely. Can I say something to him before you start again though?" You ask.

"Words of encouragement are always welcome. Go ahead!" She shows you what to press to speak to him. You wet your lips and speak clearly through the small mic. "Channie?" He straightens and smiles at your pet name before replying right away, "Its okay if you wanna wait at home sweetheart, I know it's taking me a bit to get this right but I'll be home at some point tonight, you don't have to wait for me."

"What-? I'm not going anywhere," you laugh, "I just wanted to let you know that you can do absolutely do this, I know you're tired but I also know that you've got this!! Just know I'm here to support you!" You offer up a cheesy grin and wink at him causing him to laugh as well.

"Of course I do. I'm sexy after all right? Singing seductively should come easy to me if I don't think too hard." His eyes brighten and he puts his headphones on before giving his producer a thumbs up to signal he's ready.

"Here we go again!" She says cheerfully, as you sit down on the couch to watch your boyfriend make magic happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A frustrated growl leaves Chan as Ms. Park tells him to take a break. It's been over an hour and he's made no progress. He chugs his water bottle and slams it down. You don't typically see him this angry and maybe it's caused by sitting here for so long but... it's kind of hot. He only gets aggressive when you guys are intimate, becoming a whole other person it seems. You get up to go eat something with him while you all take a break.

You both sit in the small break room together as you watch him eat the small sandwich you brought him from home hours ago.

"I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong?" He complains, furiously taking a bite. "How can I not have given off the right vibe by now?" He licks his lips and you're thighs close on their own, stirring up memories of what the two of you did last night. His tongue seemed to have a map of your pussy memorized. Oh how he took you on a mind altering trip. Bending you to his will, literally.

He notices you're staring into the distance and waves a hand in front of your face, "Y/N? You okay? Maybe you should go home and go to sleep now, it's already 11:18 at night." He reaches down and puts his hand on your knee, you'd worn a cute black skirt that comes about halfway up your thighs. Thanks to his touch alone, an immediate urge woke in you and caused you to almost jolt from the contact. Apparently, your poker face needs some practice because Chan picked up on it almost instantly. His eyes dilate a bit as he watches you take your lower lip into your mouth and your breath hitches.

"Oh princess..." he coos at you teasingly, "does my little love need some special attention?" He slides his hand up from your knee to your thigh and begins to stand up and lean in slowly, almost like a predator stalking his prey. "Well, do you?" Every nerve in your body is firing off and your brain is giving you a fight or flight command, but that's what he wants right? He wants you to feel like prey, like you need to run. You wonder if you don't back off... if you were a bit disobedient, maybe this time you could take charge...how would he react?

Wouldn't hurt to find out right?

"Why does it matter? It's not like we have any time for you to do anything about it." You smirk at him, folding your arms and leaning back. His face goes slack for about .5 seconds before his eyes turns a whole new shade of brown. So dark you could be lost in them forever. "Excuse me-" he begins, teeth gritted, just as the door opens to reveal a newly energized producer.

"LETS GO PARTY PEOPLE! We need to get this done and I feel like this next take is gonna be perfect!" She's comes and goes like a hurricane leading the way to the recording room, with you and Bangchan following behind.

Once you all get to there, Chan immediately goes into the small sound proof portion to begin. However, his eyes continue to flit to you, and you can tell he's a little annoyed with being interrupted in the break room. Especially after your last comment.

Ms. Park tells him he's definitely giving off the right kind of energy atm and to keep his head space where it's currently at for the song.

And then you have a wonderful idea. Seriously, you should be an evil temptress. He nods at her but doesn't take his eyes off you for long as he starts singing. Perfect. You look at the back of his Ms. Park's head making sure she's focused on what she's doing. Before swiping your tongue slowly and suggestively over your lips, making full eye contact with Chan. He stumbles over his words, and Ms. Park sighs and asks him to start over, jokingly saying that that was just a warm up.

You smirk it feels nice to have control especially when he isn't able to do anything about it. You're almost positive that this will come back to bite you in the ass but.... it's kind of fun. So you continue. You lean forward and dig through your purse, fishing out a sucker, but as you do you begin letting your breasts tumble out as much as possible. His voice has a slight subtle change to it. And the producer claps her hands excitedly. So far so good.

You sit up and unwrap the sucker placing it in your mouth as you open your legs widely before crossing them, knowingly giving Chan a peep show. His voice is radiating through your body now causing a deep aching in your cunt. Damn was this what Ms. Park was wanting from him. You didn't know how you felt about other girls receiving this special type of feeling from him. A small sting of jealousy courses through you and though you know how deeply you've both fallen for each other. It's just a song, you tell yourself.

You decide to keep taunting him, and you finally run your tongue of over the sucker. You twist it against your lips before sucking it into your mouth, cheeks hollowing as you slowly pull it back out of your mouth smiling at him. His eyes haven't left you this whole time, and the dangerous and almost feral look he gave you was making you clench at nothing. Your pussy was already slick causing your panties to grow wet with your need. You didn't realize how much you were testing him.

He was already harder than hell but thankfully Ms. Park couldn't tell with his sweats and baggy hoodie on. He didn't know where you got this cocky and teasing attitude from but he couldn't wait to take you home and fuck it out of you. You'd never purposfully been this much of a tease before and he'd be lying if he said he didn't like it. He takes a breath before going into his solo part in the song and in that exact moment, he knew you were going to be punished tonight.

You'd waited for his part to come up and just before it did you spread your legs to show off your soaking panties slowly slipping a hand down over yourself and rubbing gently. You were so caught up on teasing him you hadn't realized how sensitive you'd gotten. The moment you pressed onto your clit you're mouth opened a bit and you wiggle slightly at the stimulation.

And BOY does Chan notice, his hips jerk forward slightly. Chan watches as your legs close tightly around your wandering fingers, wanting so badly to to replace your fingers with his own. He's in the clear now. Finishing the song with a lusty, almost dangerous note as he sees you bring your fingers up to your lips and suck your own juices off of them with a minx-like grin. You pull your skirt back into place and pop the sucker back into your mouth.

"THAT WAS IT! THAT WAS AMAZING! It's exactly what we needed! We are DONE!" Ms. Park yells whilst jumping up and down. She turns to you and thanks you for your support. "I don't know WHAT you did on lunch to help him get the right mood but whatever it was we might have to have you in here more often!" She laughs. You all gather your stuff and part ways once you get out of the building.

Chan wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you in tightly before leaning down, voice rumbling in your ear, "you have awakened a whole new side of me I hope you know that."

You look up at him with the biggest most innocent grin you can muster, the friction of your thighs rubbing together and the meaning behind his words and tone setting your stomach alight with a monstrous sexual hunger. The walk home was difficult for many reasons and at least one of them was because Chan had slipped his hand under your top, fingers brushing your bare skin and adding to the discord of tingles you already had.

"Who would've known you could be such a brat," he says as you both make it to your apartment. He opens the door and let's you walk in first slapping you on the ass and causing you to squeak out in surprise. He enters behind you and locks the door before quickly grabbing your hand and pinning you against the wall. Your lips meet and you can taste his need, the pure desire to ruin you tonight. His hand sneaks into your skirt and panties feeling how wet you were for him. You moan at the contact, your body almost crumbling in on yourself. "Chan" you manage say. "Babygirl- you have a three second head start." He tells you voice coated with a dominant and feral tone as he removes his hand from your warm sheath and licks his fingers clean. "1.......2...." and before he could get to three you bolt for the bedroom, the immense need to run taking over. You haven't even made it 5 feet away before you hear him say three. Before his foot steps are sounding behind you. And all you can think is.

It's going to be a long night.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Black Magic" *Part 5*

Heyyy ladies and gents, I might go out later but I'm gonna post a FEW chapters tonight, see if I can get them edited fast enough. I want to try and do a "day" a chapter, if you know what I mean.

Also- Really?! No one said anything about the Raul reference?! Was it too cheesy? Also there was a Charmed reference in there if you missed it.

Part 6

Part 4

Tag List:

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@omgsuperstarg

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@gibbs274

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@objection-argumentative

@aprildecker-blog

@lolliepopsicle

@madamsnape921

@stars-trash-18

-----

You couldn't wait to get to work the next day. You rushed through the lobby and bounded into Rafael's office. He was standing there talking to Liv. Oh god. They both turned and stared at your dramatic entrance.

"Uh….Y/N, are you ok?" Rafael asked you with a bit of concern in his tone.

"Oh yeah no I'm fine Rafa," you nervously smiled, and to your horror his face became even more confused.

"I'm sorry, did you just call me Rafa?" He raised an eyebrow, glancing at Liv, who had a triumphant smile on her face. He didn't remember. It was over.

"I knew it…" she whispered with a smirk.

"Knew what?" Rafael turned to her

"....I knew she'd try to get friendly with you, she's had a crush on you forever," Olivia quickly came up with a diabolical plan on the spot. Your face fell, you felt yourself turning pale as he turned back to you.

“Is that true, Y/N?” He asked you point blank.

"I...I…" you stammered, unable to think of how to get out of this situation. Then you saw his thermos.

"I'll get your morning coffee, boss," you went and grabbed the thermos off his desk, then hurried out the door, slamming it behind you. You tried desperately not to cry as you headed down to the break room.

------

"Liv that was a little harsh," Rafael gave her a look, nothing the evil smile she had.

"What? She was being insubordinate! Calling you Rafa like that…"

"Right because only you can call me that," He smirked.

"Well I'm the only one who does," she pointed out. "And we're so close, she must have thought of she stated calling you that maybe you'd fall for her.”

"...you're nutty you know that?” He shook his head with a laugh.

“But you love me anyway,”. She gave him a tongued smiled.

"I do," he chuckled, gripping her hands .

----.

In the break room you tried to calm yourself down before going back up to Rafael’s office. You focused on what Chloe has said last night. He was already in love with you. You just had to draw it out

That was going to be exceptionally difficult now that Olivia knew you had done something. She's never gonna leave you alone with him. No she has to. I mean what is she gonna do, stay in his office all day? You'd just wait until she left. You filled his coffee and returned to his office this time knocking before you went in.

“Come in,” You heard him call through the door. You went in to see Liv had left. You looked up at the sky and mouthed a “THANK YOU.”.

"Here you are Mr. Barba." You handed him the coffee nervously.

"....Y'know I kind of liked it when you called me Rafa, Y/N." He gave you a smile. But not the normal office smile you were so used to...it was a smile you had only seen yesterday. Maybe….

"Oh. Um, yeah sure ok ...Rafa," you smiled back.

"I'm sorry I haven't said it before. I guess I shouldn't be so…"

"Snobbish," you chuckled remembering yesterday. Then suddenly remembered HE didn't remember yesterday. You looked at his once again stunned face, and you once again slapped your hands over your mouth.

"Oh god I am so--” You started to apologize, but to your relief he slowly started chucking that soon turned into a full laugh.

"Yeah, something like that." He shook his head while still laughing. He looked at you, catching your glance. He stopped laughing and just stared at you for a long moment.

I need you to remember today….

"...Do I have something on my face?" You started to rub your face embarrassed.

"No, I just…." He narrowed his eyes, inspecting your face as if he was trying to recall something. "I think I...I had a dream about you last night,"

You blushed, your heart fluttered. This was it, it was happening. It was really happening

"A good dream, I hope," you joked, trying to keep calm.

"The best," he smiled dreamily. Your face lit up, was it REALLY happening? Right now?

"Rafa, I--" You started to go for it.

"I'm sorry I don't know why I said it like that," he shook his head with a laugh. "I'm sure it was nice though,"

Nope. Not now.

"Right, I'm sure," you smiled, trying to hide the fact that you were dying inside.

"Are you okay?" He was actually paying enough attention to you to realize you were faking it

"What...yeah no I'm fine," you lied. "I just um, I didn't sleep well last night,"

"Oh. Well, feel free to make yourself something from my machine," he offered. He had never offered that before, his machine was too precious and too expensive to waste on anyone else.

"...Seriously? But that thing is your baby," You asked him astonished.

"...Something tells me I've been too focused on my 'things' lately," He chuckled.

"Oh well thank you sir,"

"Rafa carino, por favor," he said nonchalantly, then immediately stopped and looked at his desk in shock that those words fell out of his mouth so easily. You started at him equally shocked. Maybe this would be easier than you thought. You decided to run with it, maybe prodding more memories

"What's that mean?" You quickly asked. He stared at you for a second, still trying to figure out why he had called you that.

"It um--," he cleared his throat nervously. "Nothing," he lied. "It's just a word like amigo or kid"

Your face scrunched. Why would he lie? This is it. This is why you didn't know before. He's been trying to hide it!!!!!

"No it doesn't," You challenged him. What were you doing?! Was it totally smart to provoke him like this? What if he fired you?

"I'm sorry?” He asked, stunned.

“It means honey or sweetie, it's a term of endearment," You spit back the explanation he gave you yesterday.

“How do you know that…?” He was beyond suspicious.

How indeed. You raced your brain trying to think of a plausible reason.

“My best friend is Latina. She calls me that all the time,” You lied. Well, kind of lied. Chloe was Latina and spoke spanish, but she had never called you carino.

“….Then why did you ask me what it meant?” He kept suspicions.

“I wanted to see if you'd admit it,” You smirked at him. He was shocked. You had never been so informal with him, so bold, so snarky.

“….What has gotten into you, Miss y/l/n?” He suddenly asked you in a very “boss” like voice. Shit. He was pulling rank on you. You pushed too far.

"I…" Your smirk fell, your voice fell soft.

"That must have been some shit sleep you got. I suggest you go get caffeinated, compose yourself and come back more professional," He spat.

“...Y-yes sir.” You bolted out of the office.

As soon as you were gone, Rafael began to pace in his office. Why had he called you that? And so casually and easily? He was usually so careful about showing you any kind of favoritism or affection, it was highly unprofessional. And besides, you were too young for him. He couldn't be like a kid with a crush.

----

After you came back you both kept quiet and professional. Exchanging only pleasantries and things, Both lost in your own insecurities and feelings. Finally at the end of the day you went into his office quietly .

“Well if you didn't need anything else sir, I'm going to take off.,” You said meekly.

“Y/N wait,” he got up and walked up to you. "I'm sorry about this morning, I misspoke and I shouldn't have taken it out on you,”

“Oh.” You weren't thrilled that he stuck to his denial of feelings, but at least he was chill again

“Oh it's fine,” you talked nervously.” I should have never been so flippant,”

“No no, actually it was quite refreshing,” he smiled. “You're usually so quiet and timid, I like this side of you,” He stroked your hair, then instantly realized what he was doing and stepped back. What was happening?!

“Ahem so I’ll see you--” He started to say goodbye, but he noticed a penguin charm you had dangling off your phone in your hand.

“Penguins,” He whispered.

“I’m sorry?” Your heart fluttered again.

“I love penguins,” He just said softly, almost as if in a trance.

“I know,” You went for it again.

“What? How do you know that?” The moment fleeted again, his memory long gone.

“Oh um,” You bit your lip. “I mean, who doesn’t love penguins? They’re adorable,”

“Indeed,” He nodded with a smile. “Always so dapper in their--

“Tuxedos,” You finished his thought. He stared at you in shock for the fiftieth time that day, but once again it flushed into a beautiful smile.

“Right,” He nodded again, still smiling.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Rafa," You smiled, a genuine flirty smile. At this rate you'd be right back where you were yesterday in no time.

Rafael just stood staring at the door after you left. What were you doing to him?

----------

As he walked out of his office, Olivia met him at the door, holding a cup of coffee.

"An apology latte," she smiled apologetically.

"I should get mad at you more often," he chuckled, taking and sipping the latte. He made a face.

"What?" Olivia's face turned to panic.

"Nothing, just kind of a weird aftertaste," he shrugged.

"Oh maybe they decaff’d you," she laughed nervously.

“Maybe…” He stared at the cup suspiciously.

“How about dinner? On me?” She offered, hoping to distract him.

“Sure….” He shook off his suspicion and smiled at her.

They walked arm in arm, Rafael was oblivious to the evil smile crawling across Olivia's lips.

----

You went home floating on cloud nine. When you walked in the door Chloe was folding her laundry. When she saw you she smiled hugely at the door.

“So.. how did it go?” She grabbed your hand and pulled you to your couch.

“It was amazing. He didn't remember yesterday, but I think he has some idea of what happened. And I think it's drawing his feelings out!!” You clapped your hands together wildly.

“Girl that's awesome!” She giggled. “Well tomorrow you'll just have to look amazing. See if you can draw more out,” She grinned.

You went to bed feeling more hopeful than you had in a long time.

-------

[daintykeith]

DESERVING

Title: Deserving

Summary: A one-shot love story featuring Arthur Morgan and John Marston in which John struggles to understand Arthur's new behavior around camp.

Word count: 1.6k+

Notes: mild cursing | feedback is appreciated!!!

Tags: @southernlynxx @rdr-secret-cupid

I’m your secret cupid, @southernlynxx !!! I'm so sorry this took forever dear; the past few weeks have been totally insane and out of my hands to control. I chose your first wish and decided to mix it up with some good reassurance (happy) angst which i found fitting for the theme; 

John trying to understand & accept Arthur’s affection around camp! I hope you enjoy it, happy late Saint Valentine’s day!!!

P.D → I was inspired by this photo I took in my game! Totally worth it.

John never thought it would be like this.

At first, it was awkward—maybe bizarre. But that was just the beginning.

As the sun rose from the West, John walked out of his tent like a dead man; dark bags under his eyes and scratching his side, yawning without shame. Thirty minutes of sleep—or less—felt great. Just what he needed, right? Taking guarding rounds at night for the past few weeks to avoid him. Yes, that man. The one who had become his greatest relief and headache at the same time, Arthur Fucking Morgan.

While John agonized, Arthur was at his best. Refreshed, clean, and glowing like a damn pearl who had found its way to the surface, gleaming under the Sun—too shiny for John’s liking. Thankfully, his tormenting and seductive eyes were nowhere to be found yet. But, why was John avoiding him as if he was a pest? It’s complicated, you’ll understand later on.

John walked to the empty soup cauldron and grabbed the coffee pot next to it and a metallic cup nearby. He sighed as he sipped from the coffee he had just poured himself; feeling the smoke coming off his mouth like locomotor steam. He needed it to be functional, it had become his coal and main source of energy.

He stood next to the fire in the common area, waiting for Dutch to give a speech he had asked everyone the night before to hear. Why the hell would he give a speech so early in the morning when even the rooster hadn’t yet given his call to the sky? He wondered, staring his distorted reflection in the coffee in his hand.

It was a quiet morning, everyone who woke up, quickly waved at John and left to grab a coffee, or so it remained until the feared one appeared. He walked graciously without effort, his shirt had some buttons undone that showed his chest and collarbone, looking like a damn angel. He rinsed his face and John saw with detail from afar how every drop of water dripped down his face and neck. It made him thirsty. That man was no other than Arthur Morgan.

Arthur ran his hand through his hair and over his nape. To John, that man could’ve been the Devil himself walking on Earth, an angel who had fallen from Heaven for his ego. He was too full of himself, afly in making everyone blush in a moment’s notice. Before John could realize, Arthur was staring at the red in his cheeks and grinned, satisfied from his reaction.

“Damn you!” John whispered, looking anywhere but at him as he burned his tongue and narrowed his eyes.

Arthur, with his smug grin, quickly grabbed his coffee and sat next to the fire a few feet away from John, who didn’t know Arthur was just mesmerized with his foolishness, head over heels for a stubborn and reckless but loveable little piece of shit—a nickname truthful to his nature. A true rascal! Against his better judgement and all prognostics, an all-standing jinx befell upon him like rain in a desert.

He admired John from the ground, his strong jawline, the scars on his cheek that ran to his nose and the corner of his lips. However, his foul mouth didn’t catch up with his beauty—quick witted and far too fast for his train of thought that always got him in trouble. Arthur drank from his coffee and looked at John in the eye who, this time, didn’t turn their gaze away but held it dearly.

“What are you thinkin’ about?” John asked with his raspy voice, trying to sound uninterested but contradicted by the widened pupils in his curious eyes.

A walking contradiction, Arthur thought with a grin. “Wanna’ know?” He took a long swig of his cup and let it sit in his lap.

John hesitated for a moment.  "No." Nevermind.

The blue-greened eye man cleaned the corner of his mouth with his thumb and licked it and slightly blushed. "What a shame."

John couldn't stop staring Arthur, something had lit in the corner of his mind.

"Anyway, what does Dutch want this early in the morning?"

"Don't know, don't care."  Arthur rolled his eyes and looked at his feet.

John gulped, bothered by Arthur's sudden behavior to which he decided to blind the eye on.

"He's been acting... strange," John mutters, making a long pause.

He was right. Dutch had changed; it was the gleam in the eye he had always told them to not have—those of an ambition far too great, burned by being too close to the Sun. Everybody had noticed but kept quiet, making a silent agreement in not talking about the matter. John had a hunch of what it meant, but also kept quiet.

"No more than you; what's going on with ya'? Did the wolves eat the brain whole? You've been avoiding me!"

Did he notice? He knew he wasn't hiding the fact so well, but admitting it hurt his pride.

"The hell you sayin'?! No, I haven't!"

Arthur smiled in response, as if it was the answer he was expecting.

"Why?"

John narrowed his eyes.

"Why what?"

"You know."

He stood up, spilt the coffee left in his cup into the fire and slowly walked to John. His body swung with temptation, a fierce cat-walk with a daring look in his eyes.  John felt like his feet were stuck to the ground, unable to take just one step aside to avoid the storm walking straight to him. His metallic eyes were bewitched by  Arthur's; he sure knew how to charm him every damn time.

He didn't stop until he towered over John, trapping him with his voluptuous figure.

"Why are you so shy?" He whispered to John in the ear with a burning breath that heated and tinted his cheeks in deep red.

John forgot how to breath. He was so close that he felt their bodies touch and their minds collide.

"I, uh..."

"you what, dear?"

How shameless could the bastard be? Didn't he have any limit?

"I don't wanna talk here; let's go somewhere else." John imposed in a soft mutter.

"Alright."

They went to John's tent taking hands. They were cramped in such a small place, where their breathing burned eachother's skin and only a dim light shined through the entrance. A long pause arrived when the world had seemed to stop rotating and time had gone somewhere else, making everything but them oblivious and unimportant.

"I don't understand why are you doing this," John said with long sigh, finally giving in.

John rested his head in Arthur's shoulder, feeling his body finally relax after the tense moment.

"I thought we were a secret, ya' know?" he muttered, "a thing only you and I knew. Our thing."

Arthur combed his fingers through John's black hair, softly caressing the back of his head and humming in agreement.

"I don't seem to understand why you smile at me every time you see me or why you, like, want to touch me every time you can—or when you look at me like that."

"Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No! I, ugh... I don't know."

Arthur chuckled. “I get it.”

John sighed in relief. Did it mean he would stop acting weird? I mean, Arthur would always be a bastard no matter how you look at it, but he called it an improvement.

“I'm sorry” he continued ”, but there's no stopping me in loving you.”

What. In. The. World. That's not what he meant!

“Arthur, you're not listening—”

“Every damn word, of course I do...”

“Then why are you doing this?!” John buried his head deeper, frustrated. “I'm an asshole, okay, I get it. But that's not a reason for you to do this to me.” Enchanting me, making me drunk with every word you whisper. Damn you.

“John, I—”

“I don't deserve it.”

A long silence between them came to be except for the more recurrent footsteps outdoors, stumping into the grass and dirt. John held tighter to Arthur, who stepped back only to take a closer look to his face, eye to eye.

“Listen closely, you little piece of shit.”

John flinched to the sudden grab by his collar, wanting to look away but Arthur only held his gaze closer.

"There's no denying that you are an idiot— but my idiot. I'm a fool myself, an old dirty bastard that's only getting older with every day that goes by, thinking that I'm the happiest man alive every damn time I look at you and even though I know I don't deserve it either. I ain't a good man, John. And you fucking know it." He grabbed his collar stronger as if it was a threat, with that dead look in his eyes that had seen the deeds their owner had done.

After Arthur realized what he did, he let John go.

“If it was about deserving, John, you would've never been mine."

He gently took John's hand laid it in his face, placing a gentle kiss in the back of his hand.

John couldn't speak a word. His mind had gone blank except for the beautiful image of Arthur lovingly playing with his fingers, laying kisses in the tip of his fingers, and the words that uttered in the corners of his mind, echoing Arthur's whispers.

"I'm sorry, John. But I beg you, let this damn fool love you and show it to you."

John placed his hand in Arthur's earlobe. As if both had read their minds, they looked into each other's eyes before leaning into a soft, gentle kiss.

Their kisses never tasted sweet. It was rough, with sweat and blood that was so common in there lives. Neither of them deserved the sweet taste of paradise, but they were making one of their own.

“You make me feel like a fool, Arthur.”

“You too.”

John wished this moment lasted forever. He wanted to enjoy the moment when their souls had gotten closer, but a voice outside called.

“Arthur, John, Where are you?!” Dutch called, irritated of waiting.

They separated and held each other's gaze for a moment.

“We should go,” John whispered tenderly as he rolled he eyes.

“Let's go,” Arthur chuckled.

Arthur gently held John's hand before heading out of the tent, ready for the world.