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renniecirque · 4 years ago

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More Rennie HCs!!!

how do they listen to their music? ipod, mp3, computer, cd, records, etc? Records, his phone, sometimes his school laptop

do they take baths or showers? do they prefer one over the other? Bath! Rennie is old fashioned and loves taking a soak in a warm tub filled with herbs and calming scents. It’s not uncommon to find him fast asleep in the tub after a long day.

do they wear their hair down when they sleep, or tied up / braided? Down. Though during the summer he clips his bangs up out of his face!

how many blankets / pillows do they like to have on their bed? 2 blankets! One thin one and another that is minky/soft. Rennie is the king of pillows; he has 4. 3 to lay on, one to hold.

what do they normally dream about? nightmares or nonsense? Dreams are strange for Rennie as they aren’t quite nightmares but they can leave him unsettled. He often replays the past in his sleep.

do they wake up groggy or alert? do they like mornings? Groggy as heck. You’d think he was a different person with how silent and dragging his body-like he is if he has an early morning class. Some say it looks like someone dragged him across the field and left him there with how he looks in the morning. Not at all.

what do they sleep in? pj’s, normal clothes, nothing? A cardigan over his old night gown. He also wears night shorts under it. Though he also now has a matching lounge pj set with his friend.

what do they smell like? do they use perfume or cologne? Rennie either smells like coffee or fresh pine/floral scents. He uses sprays whenever he feels like it but doesn’t make a habit of it.

what shampoo scent do they like the best and why? Lavender! Anything that reminds him of his home in the forest. Plus it has soothing attributes.

bar soap or liquid? do they like loofahs? Bar! He’s quite fond of homemade oatmeal soap. Eh he’s indifferent.

do they prefer sleeping alone or with someone else? Sleeping with someone else. Back at his home, he used to share a bed with his brother and now currently with his sister in the small cottage. It just feels safe to him.

do they like the room cold or hot when they sleep? Cold. Layers are easier to deal with than sweating.

do they stay up too late? do they like staying up? Very much so. Rennie is a big night owl and likes to stay up until dusk before heading to bed. Sadly school makes that more difficult.

do they know how to drive? do they like to drive? NO WAY DFKGKDJ Rennie is used to using brooms or carriage if needed!

do they prefer taxis / buses / subways, etc? or none of the above? N/A. The valley doesn’t really have things like that.

do they have pets? what kind? dogs, cats, etc? No pets. Though Rennie is quite familiar with the animals that lurk near his home.

do they prefer cats or dogs? or neither? Neither.

what are their phobias? do they have any at all? Lightning, war, abandonment issues.

what do they hate being teased about? are they teased often? Their loud voice, getting too excited over things and not knowing when to tone it down- not often thankfully.

did they have any fears growing up that they’ve since conquered? Rennie had a fear of how weak humans were when playing went horribly wrong- ultimately adding fuel to an already tense war and causing them to flee their home. I wouldn’t say it was a full conquered fear just… Rennie copes with it better than he used to. Though not in the most friendly way.

do they have a fear they want to conquer, but haven’t yet? Abandonment issues. Since his brother left, Rennie realized just how quiet the family home is without the one who stood up for him all of this time.

how do they show fear? sweating, shaking, blankness, anger, etc? Biting his lip, twisting his hair, can range from fight to flight depending on the severity. Laughing especially.

do they have a short temper? what’s most likely to set it off? Not terribly short. Setting him off usually involves underestimating him or blocking his way for long periods of time. He also doesn’t stand for weak people getting bullied by fraud mages who think they’re hot shit just because they’re in the brawn dorm.

do they get scared easily? does loud noises, shouting, etc, scare them? Not super easily- though sudden crashes can make him jump. Yelling does put him on edge, especially if it is directed towards him.

what are they most passionate about? what could they debate about for hours? Rennie is very passionate about learning anything and everything about magic! It’s his goal to become a well-rounded magician his mother and father could be proud of. He is also very passionate with his work making clothes for his sister and goods to sell back home. Definitely the history of magic and it’s influence across the world. How each country lives in very different ways involving magic.

what do they never, ever want to speak of, ever? The incident where he hurt a human child on accident. Where his brother risked it all to protect him, even if it meant getting hurt himself on top of severe punishment from the school. How he dropped his birth name because there is terrible magic in knowing one’s true name. He didn’t wish to be controlled by the past anymore.

do they have kids? do they want kids? if so, how many? No kids, he’s a kid himself. Rennie wouldn’t be Against having a family though it’s hard to gauge. Maybe 1-2 kids??? He does like family.

is there something they’d like to change about themselves physically? Not really… though he wouldn’t complain about being a little taller.

is there something about their personality they want to change? The trickster side of himself he shows for sure. While it can be fun at times, he often uses it as a shield to hide his real feelings.

do they have good fashion sense? or do they just wear whatever? Generally Rennie wears whatever is comfortable, though he has an appreciation for certain styles. He at least tries to look presentable.

do they critique others easily? do they judge from afar? To a degree, yes. Though it is more from afar and only within his mind. He only lays light jabs to people and prefers to keep snide comments to himself. No sense picking unnecessary battles.

are they too hard on themselves over the little things? Eh not really! Rennie has a very carefree approach to much of his school life, only getting serious when it comes to his own courses and if others are trying to push him/his friends around. He only gets upset when he fails something he knows he can pull off.

are they the jealous type? what are they most likely to be jealous of? Not very jealous, no. If anything, he’s more envious and resigned to the fact that there are some fae who can live and exist among humans without worry. He’s envious some can survive the strife within the Valley with little issue.

are they possessive over their things? or over other people? Both? Definitely more over people. Those Rennie welcomes into his life are like family and he is not going to let people hurt those he cares about. Not being seen as a dangerous monster by others is all Rennie hoped for.

would they rather be alone or in a relationship? While Rennie feels safer being with other people, I still think he’d rather be alone. I don’t think Rennie would trust someone so openly with his heart as a Fae. Plus relationships with non-fae lead to an endless cycle of heartache.

what do they think about polyamorous relationships? would they do it? They never considered it but nothing is off the table???

do they have parents / parental figures? do they have a good relationship with them? Rennie has his mother and father! For the most part it is very positive. A strict yet loving household, Rennie’s father expects his children to upkeep the family tradition and talent with magic and good schooling. While Rennie’s mother simply wishes for her children to grow well-rounded and respectful. The change in their lifestyle really showed her what really is important and that’s family above influence.

do they have siblings? if so, how many? do they like them? Rennie has an older brother and his baby sister! He’s the middle baby! Rennie loves his siblings more than anything, especially having a close bond with his brother Brier. Brier tries to distance himself from Rennie now not in a mean way but as a- I’ve protected you for so long and I want you to live and survive on your own way. He can’t always be there, so he needs Rennie to be able to protect and live for himself.

do they have a big family or a small family? no family? A decently big family of 5!

where would they want to live if they could live anywhere? Why? Anywhere outside of the Valley. While Rennie’s home is comforting, the memories of The Valley of Thorns are very raw still and being in a place always on the edge of war exhausts him greatly. Humans and Fae never mix, no matter how hard they try to reconcile the kingdoms.

are they happy in their current living situation? why or why not? Honestly? No. The small hut feels welcoming and warm but Rennie feels he’d feel much better being in another country. Being at NRC for semesters gives him that escape from the reality.

do they like living alone or with another person / other people? Other people for sure!

did they go to college, or are they attending? did / do they like it? Not yet.

what’s their dream job / profession? do they have one? Rennie would love to be a teacher for incantations and potions.

if they could control one thing in the world, what would it be? I have no idea kdfjkdfj maybe how people get along? He’d never want wars again.

do they like tv shows or movies? or neither? Rennie doesn’t mind movies, though he really only watches them at school with friends.

do they have social media? do they like it or hate it? obsess over it? Rennie has a Magicame however, he barely knows how to use it.

do they have a creative outlet? if so, what is it? Sewing!!! Rennie loves making clothes and blankets in his free time.

where do they see themselves in 2 / 5 / 10 years? 2 years he hopes to be a great 3rd year student others can look up to. In 5 years he hopes to graduate NRC like his brother and make his family proud. In 10 years he hopes to be working his dream job and training his baby sister in magic alongside his parents.

#twst #twst oc #twisted wonderland #rennie cirque #rennie lore #not art #long post #my oc

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theworldofsisi · 5 years ago

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Pretty (Finding Balance) 2

There was alcohol on his breath, and he was sure that it must have permeated the air around him like a stinking, suffocating cloud. He hadn't meant to drink that much because he knew that if had taken too much or his bandmate's liquor from his cabinet, he would find out and skin him alive.

That hadn't stopped him from completely losing control and cleaning the cabinet out of whatever was in it while the dorm was otherwise silent as the other members slept in relative peace. Ren had been left alone, his emotions in a tidal wave - he didn't know if he was sad or unfeeling, and honestly, he hadn't been able to find it in himself enough to care.

He had known that they had practice the next morning, but the rational part of him had been outweighed by the part of him that needed a quick fix to his pain, to forget all of the suffering he had been put through in the weeks past. And now here he was, sitting in the cramped and hot company van, on his way to practice with an ungodly hangover.

His head pounded like a bass drum and he felt nauseous, but he had still tried to eat breakfast so that he could at least appear like he was okay. He was able to hold it down until they started practicing, and the loud music, heat, and demanding dance moves unsettled his stomach and he found himself on his knees, heaving the contents of his stomach up onto the hardwood floor.

He held his hand up to stop the worried members from approaching him. Aron met his gaze when he was finished and sighed. “Ren, you're not sick. You're hungover, aren't you?”

“I had a little bit to drink last night.”

“A little bit? You cleaned out my entire fucking cabinet.”

Ren looked away and Aron shook his head. “I'm not mad about the liquor - I can buy more. I'm worried about you, Minki. I know you're smarter than that. There's no way in hell that you thought it was a good idea to get drunk knowing that we had practice the next morning.”

“I didn't get drunk on purpose.”

“Yeah, well what did you think would happen?”

“I don't know! I wasn't thinking, okay? Don't act like you've never showed up to practice hungover.”

“I didn't say that I haven't. Believe me, I know how many times I've done it. But you're also not me. You're more rational, hell more careful than me. That's why I'm concerned - it's normal for me, and unheard of from you.”

“There's a first for everything, right?” Ren knew that it was a petty move, but it was the only thing that he had left. He knew the comment had done its ob when Aron let out a long suffering sigh and turned his back to Ren. JR stepped forward, his leader mode activated.

“Arguing won't do anything to fix the problem now. I'll go tell the manager that we need to take you home.”

“No way! This will be the second time that we've called off practice early because of me in the last month.”

“Ren.” JR's voice was stern - he only used that tone of voice when there would be absolutely no bargaining with him. “Can you practice like this without puking across more of the floor?”

“Probably not.” Ren's words were seconded when his stomach gave another lurch and his hand flew to his mouth. He closed his eyes until the wave of nausea passed before meeting JR's gaze again.

“I thought so. We're going home, and that's final.”

An hour later, JR had gotten Ren back in the bed to sleep off the rest of his hangover and had situated himself on the couch. The leader was biting his lip as he scrolled through the contacts on his phone until the name that he was looking for popped up - Seong. He clicked her name and placed the speaker against his ear, his heart racing in his chest as he waited for her to pick up. It got to the third ring and he began to think that she wasn't going to pick up until the ringing stopped.

“Hello?” The voice on the other end was snippy and tired sounding, and JR began to wonder if he had woken her up. Shit - just what he needed to make this conversation even more awkward.

“This is JR. I know that I'm probably the last person that you want to talk to right now, but I really need you to hear me out. It'.s about Minki.”

“I don't want to talk about him.”

“I figured that much. But if you ever cared about him, and I know that you did, you'll listen. He went to practice drunk this morning.”

“He doesn't drink.”

“Not normally, no. Bu since you broke up with him, it's become a regular habit of his, but he hadn't managed to get drunk yet. He didn't care, Seong. He knew that we had practice today, but he still got drunk. Does that sound like the person you know?”

“I don't know the same person as you do, so I really couldn't say.”

“When will you wrap your head around the fact that he's both Ren and Minki? They're the same person, they just act differently. You know that he doesn't like drinking very much, whoever the hell you think he really is.”

Seong had a sarcastic comment on the tip of her tongue, but she felt it slip away when she heard the genuine concern in JR's face. It was now obvious to her that he was seriously worried about the possible implications of Ren getting drunk meant. Even then, she knew what he wanted her to do, but she couldn't bring herself to see Ren - not yet, not when his betrayal was still fresh in her mind. “I think I know what you're about to suggest, but I can't. I can't see him yet. You have to give me time. It still hurts too much to think about him, let alone see him.”

JR took a deep breath. He had been expecting the answer, but that didn't lessen the disappointment that he felt at actually getting it. “Yeah, I thought so. Thanks anyway.” T

“Hey JR?”

“Hm?”

“Try and take care of him? I.. couldn't live with myself if something actually happened to him.”

“I'll try my best.”

Ren stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at his long hair in distaste. He was getting tired of losing so much hair in the shower and clogging the drain, and waking up to find so much hair on his pillow that it looked like a cat had died. He knew that wasn't the only reason that he had the scissors in his hand, but he wanted to believe that this was completely his choice and just some simple change of fashion.

His hand was really guided by his desire to end the comments about his gender. While most of the comments about his sexuality had abated since he hadn't posted any more pictures with Seong, the rumors about his gender had gotten to the point that he couldn't go outside without someone recognizing him and asking him if he was really male. It was driving him crazy, and he hated feeling like he couldn't be himself, but if cutting his hair would make the comments end, then he would try anything at this point.

He grabbed one side of his hair and sighed deeply as he snipped it. The hair fell into the sink. He did the same with the other side until his hair was a good few inches shorter than it had been. It still was by no means short, but it wasn't as long either. He looked a little bit more masculine with his hair cut to his jaw, and surprisingly, he found the feeling empowering. He could choose to look more feminine or masculine just by making a simple change to his hairstyle.

He wasn't done yet. He couldn't stand to change his hairstyle without changing the color as well. He brushed his newly cut hair through with a brush, then opened the box of brown hair dye. He didn't even have to read the directions - he had dyed his hair enough in his career to know exactly what he was supposed to do.

Fifteen minutes later, he was in the shower washing out the dye. He watched as it whirled down the drain in a cloudy brown tidal wave. When the water began running clear, he stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. His mind wandered back to the last time that he had dyed his hair and ruined Seong's towel - he had never apologized for ruining another one. She was sure to have found it and gotten appropriately angry by this point, and he wasn't there to promise to buy her another set to make up for it. The realization made his chest tighten and he closed his eyes against the tears pricking behind his closed eyelids.

With a sigh walked towards the mirror and stared at his handiwork. His hair was disheveled from being wet and freshly washed, but he could already see a difference in the shade of his hair despite the wetness. He smiled slightly as he collected the hair that he had cut from the sink and threw it into the trash.

He then proceeded to step two of his plan and got dressed in his favorite all black outfit. He did his makeup quickly, making sure to go light on the color of his lips and the darkness of his eyeliner, opting to use nude colors. He succeeded in making himself look more like a guy, and that made him happy.

He grabbed his phone and snapped a few photos of himself doing different poses and posted one to twitter. He didn't know what he was trying to prove, but he wanted to see if people still said the same things that they did when his hair was longer. He wasn't sure how much of a change cutting his hair would cause, but there had to be some improvement, right?

Ren couldn't have been more wrong. Within minutes, there were comments on his pictures that made his heart sink lower than it already had if that were possible. Some of the comments were worse than they had been before. It took everything he had not to throw his phone against the wall and watch it shatter into thousands of pieces, just like his sanity.

He couldn't please anybody, so maybe there really was no point in trying.

Ren didn't know why he wanted to go home, but he did. There was something comforting about the thought of being hugged by his mother, to hear her tell him that it would be okay. JR had managed to get the okay from the manager and company director to let Ren have a break. The leader had been worried about Ren going on his own, but he had managed to assure him that he would be perfectly okay to get back home on his own.

He had decided to take the bus route to Busan. It would take a little bit longer than driving would, but it would give him more time to think. Rather than thinking, he ended up falling asleep until the bus driver announced that they had arrived in Busan. He had kind of defeated the purpose of not driving, but if he had fallen asleep on the noisy bus, he didn't want to think about what could have happened if had chosen to drive instead.

He quickly exited the bus and made the short walk through the familiar streets of Busan until he came to his childhood home. He smiled when he realized that it was exactly the same - his dad was supposed to fix the broken step, but when Ren got to it, he felt it almost give under his weight and jumped up to the next stair quickly.

He threw open the front door and took one step inside. His mom was sitting on the couch and she smiled when she saw him. She stood up quickly when she saw her son and wrapped him in a firm embrace. “Minki, its so good to have you home, even if you're only here for a few days.” She took a step back to appraise him and bit her lip when she noticed how he looked. “You look... very pretty, son.”

“Do you have a problem with how I look?”

“You look a little bit like a girl. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but I'm afraid that it might make people.. wonder about you.”

Ren sighed. Somehow his mom had hit the nail on the head. “Yeah, you really have no idea, mom.”

His mom cast him a sympathetic look and kissed his cheek. “Your father might say something, but I still love you however you look, as long as you're happy.”

Ren nodded and smiled genuinely for the first time since Seong had broken up with him. “Thanks, mom.”

“It's not a problem Minnie. Now how are you and Seong?” Ren's face fell, and his mother released a long sigh. “You're not together anymore, are you?”

“We broke up about three weeks ago. There was a really stupid rumor about me, and for some reason, she believed it and she broke up with me.”

“You loved each other so much. Didn't you at least try to reason with her?”

“Of course I did, but she wouldn't listen. I haven't spoken to her since.”

“Do you want me to call her?”

"No. If she wanted to talk, she would have called me already. Will you please drop it?"

His mom gave him a sad smile but nodded anyway. "Sure. Have you eaten?" Ren paled and shook his head. His mother gave him a disapproving look. “You haven't been eating very much, have you?” She went straight to the kitchen and began preparing lunch for her son who smiled gratefully and sat on the living room couch. He soon fell asleep, and when the food was done, his mother simply sighed and covered him up with a blanket before planting a kiss on his cheek.

Ren awoke to the sound of his parents arguing, something entirely unusual in itself. He had only heard the two of them fight a handful of times during his entire childhood, and what made this time worse was that he heard continuous mentions of his name in his father's angry not quite yell. He rolled over onto his side and strained his ears to hear what his parents were saying. He managed to make out a few words, and none of them were reassuring.

“We had a son. We sent him off and he comes back looking like that - like some damn girl.” Ren's heart rose up into his throat as his mom yelled something back at his father, but he couldn't hear what she said over the roaring in his ears.

He felt physically sick and for a moment regretted not eating before falling asleep because he didn't have anything in his stomach to throw up. He had come home to his parents for consolation, and now here his father was talking about him while he thought that Ren was sleeping.

Ren heard more words being said, but he tuned them out as he buried his face into the couch cushion, fighting back the tears quickly springing to his eyes. He wouldn't cry - if his father felt like that about him, then he wasn't worth Ren's time. Crying over his father's opinions would prove that he cared, and he didn't care, did he?

When a choked sob escaped Ren's lips, he knew that he had answered his own question. He cared very much about what his father thought about him because he had always respected his father highly, despite his overly high expectations for his son. He had always known that his father had severe opinions when it came to how a man should look, but Ren had always thought that regardless of how he looked, his dad would never stop loving him. But that was what the fight sounded like it was over - how he was disappointed in him despite his growing success with Nu'Est. Ren could never be good enough to please him.

Fury and hurt spurred Ren into action as he stood up from the couch, causing the blanket his mother had covered him up with to fall onto the floor. He silently thanked his mother for her caring heart, then stormed into the kitchen where he heard his parents arguing. His father immediately stopped talking when he realized that Ren was awake, and his eyes bugged at the sight of his crying and obviously angry son.

“Minki.” he began, his voice shocked and almost... apologetic.

“Don't bother,” Ren said warningly as he wiped a hand across his face to brush away the tears. “I've been awake for awhile now, dad. I heard everything. I know what you really think about me, so don't worry. I'll find my way back to my dorm. Mom, I'll call you later. “

Without another glance back in his shocked parent's directions, Ren made his way out of the house, throwing the front door open as quickly as he could, not bothering to shut it. He got to the broken front step and jumped over it, not caring how hard he landed on the pavement below.

Ren hadn't realized that he was still crying until his eyesight was fogged up by the tears. He wiped them away furiously as he walked in a straight line away from his parent's house, not really sure where he was going but just knowing that he wanted to be anywhere but there.

He pulled out his phone and his fingers lingered over the one number that he didn't want to call, but knew that he had to. He wasn't even sure if she would pick up - it was late, and he knew that she had school the next day. But he still had to try.

The dial tone began ringing, and Ren's heart beat faster. He silently begged for her to pick up. A few seconds later, he heard a click and knew that his call had been picked up.

“Hello?” Came the sleep-tinged reply and Ren felt himself relax, even if just a little.

“It's Minki.” he muttered quietly, crying affecting the way his voice sounded.

“Are you crying?” he could hear the concern in Seong's voice, and it made something in his heart jump. She still cared about him, even if it was just about his well-being.

“Can you come and get me?” he knew that it was a bold request, but he needed her.

“Where are you?”

“Busan. I'll walk to the subway station. Can you meet me there?”

“I'll be there as soon as I can.”

Seong arrived at the subway station and found Ren leaning against a wall with his eyes closed. She touched his shoulder lightly, causing his eyes to flutter open. He gave her a weak smile and she led him to her car before shutting the door and getting in herself. He had fallen asleep with no explanation minutes later, and it was only then that she noticed how tired and worn he looked. His hair was also shorter and lighter, and she wondered when that had happened.

She drove him back to Nu'Est's dorm in a daze, the time seeming to pass by in a blur. She had called JR to tell him that she was bringing Ren home, and he had agreed to stay awake to let her in. Sure enough, when she pulled up to the dorm, the leader was sitting outside in a chair with his head laid against the house. He blinked his eyes open when the bright lights of Seong's car shone into his face.

He gave her a tiny smile as he opened the car door and pulled the still half asleep Ren into a standing position and led him to the dorm, turning back around to wave at Seong as she pulled away. With some effort, he managed to get Ren inside the dorm and into his bed before sighing and getting into his own. Worry filled his mind at what had caused Ren to come home after not even staying with his parents for a day and the look of pain that had been written clearly on his friend's face, even in sleep.

Ren awoke with dried tears on his face. He blinked the remaining moisture out of his eyes and sat up in bed, quickly realizing that he was in his room in Nu'Est's dorm, and not the living room of his parent's house. The memories of the night before came back to him in a rush, and more tears sprang to his eyes, but he fought them back.

With a sigh, he got out of bed and stumbled groggily to the bathroom. His hair was disheveled and his dark eyes puffy and tired looking, despite having just woken up. He ran a hand through his hair and winced as his father's comments ran through his brain again, causing a fresh wave of pain to course through his body.

He wasn't good enough to please Nu'Est's fans, hell he wasn't good enough to please his own parents. He really couldn't do anything right, so why should he keep trying? There wasn't a reason to keep fighting for approval, to keep caring what others thought if no matter what he did, he would never have been able to live up to the world's expectations for him.

A small laugh escaped him and he covered his mouth quickly, unsure of why he was laughing. It wasn't like him - the sound wasn't normal, and he wondered if he was beginning to have a mental breakdown. Huh, wouldn't that be great? He imagined the headlines for that one with a sarcastic smirk. 'Transvestite idol in a mental asylum after having a psychotic break' that would be just his luck, something more to ruin his already devastated reputation.

He laughed again against his will, a bit louder this time. At the same time, he realized that he was crying harder than he ever remembered crying before. He ran back to his room and dialed Seong's number, praying that she would be willing to talk to him again. He needed her to save him before he shattered into a billion pieces that could never be put back together.

“Minki, why do you keep calling me?” he hadn't even realized that she had picked up until he heard her angry voice on the other end.

“Seong, please. I need to talk to you - I know that I shouldn't be asking you because we're over, I know. But please give me a few minutes to talk to you. Just please.”

Seong was about to hang up, until she heard the desperation in his voice, and knew that he was crying. She had always had a weakness for him when he cried because it was so unusual for him to break down. “O-okay.” she agreed almost instantly.

“Meet me at the restaurant across from your apartment at seven.”

Seven o'clock rolled around quickly as Ren showered and changed into something presentable. He brushed his tangled hair, but didn't bother putting on makeup - he wasn't going out to please anyone. He just wanted to make things right. He'd been drinking for a few hours, once again “borrowing” some of Aron's liquor, this time not even caring if it was obvious that he had taken some. By this point, he wondered if his band-mate even cared. Why would anyone care about what someone like him did?

He was sure that he smelled like a drunk bum, but that was nothing that a bit of cologne couldn't fix. He squirted some of his favorite on his clothes, realizing as the scent wafted up to his nose that it was the one that Seong liked most on him as well. He smiled a little bit against his will before the cold reality hit him and he frowned again.

He checked his phone for the time, nearly dropping it as he read the time. It was already six forty-five, and he wasn't there. Ren walked quickly through the living room, not stopping to address the curious looks of his four hyungs as he walked by them. He was a man on a mission.

Ren arrived at the restaurant at 7:03, and saw Seong already sitting at the booth when he went inside the warm building. A waiter handed him a menu, and he ordered a salad, along with a bottle of soju. Seong gave him a distasteful look as she smelled his cologne from across the booth, mixed in with some other poorly masked but unmistakable scent.

“You've already been drinking tonight?” she asked quietly, and he just sighed.

“Yeah.”

“Why are you here, Minki?”

“I wanted to tell you that you were wrong. I've never kissed JR, I've never done anything with JR. He's my friend, like a brother to me.”

“How close you are to someone doesn't mean that those feelings can't turn into something else. Look at us - we were basically siblings, but we still ended up together.”

“Do you regret that we ended up together?”

“No. I regret that I put so much faith in you.”

Ren let out a tired breath. “You still believe that those pictures are real.”

“I don't know what I believe, Minki.” Seong was cut off by the waiter who gave them an apologetic smile as he set Ren's food out in front of him. Ren didn't bother eating, instead, he ended up grabbing the bottle and taking a long swig. He wasn't sure how much he had drank before coming to meet Seong, but he knew that he was definitely close to drunk already.

He continued to sip on the soju as Seong talked. Once half of the bottle was gone, he could barely comprehend her words, but it didn't frighten him. He enjoyed being numb - he couldn't think about all of the things that hurt him when he was like this.

The only thing that managed to break through the haze was the sound of cameras, many cameras snapping pictures, surrounding him and in his drunken state, making him feel trapped. He cast Seong a downcast glare, even though his vision doubled and suddenly there wasn't just one of her giving him a concerned look as her gaze darted from him and then around the small restaurant, seemingly searching for the source of the shutter noise.

Ren couldn't shake the feeling that it was all too damn convenient. He finally gets to the point that he needed Seong the most, and barely a few minutes into their meeting, it was being crashed by reporters. Somewhere in the back of his clouded mind he knew he was being irrational and jumping to conclusions, but that part wasn't dominant enough to quiet his fears.

Ren shook his head and cast his ex-girlfriend a look that he could only pray showcased the entire weight of betrayal and hurt he felt at her giving up his privacy like she so obviously had. He had trusted her despite their breakup, had trusted her because he had never known a time in his entire life that he hadn't trusted her. Clearly, that trust and their long past meant nothing to her if she had betrayed the one person that she promised to always be loyal to.

Seong wasn't inside of his head - she didn't understand the pointed looks that Minki was giving her, but at that moment, she realized that whatever pieces of her ex might have been left in the shell of him that becoming a member of Nu'Est had left him in, were gone and all that remained in his place was someone she didn't know at all.

Despite everything, despite the near hate-filled looks he was giving her, she knew that whatever happened, she couldn't let him out of her sight, lest he do something incredibly stupid. She watched him carefully as his brown eyes softened slightly, becoming more confused and frightened than angry. She realized that more of the alcohol must be taking effect and changing his judgment. She couldn't move in time as he cast her one final look, even though it didn't look like he saw her at all. He was out the door in an instant, like a startled cat trying to hide under a bed during a thunderstorm.

Only Ren wasn't running from a thunderstorm, he was running straight into the crowd of reporters that she knew all too well were waiting for him just outside of the restaurant's doors. Seong threw some money on the table, positive that it was entirely too much but not being able to find it in herself to care as the one she loved darted through the doors, obviously terrified and confused... lost even.

She ran in the direction that she hoped he had taken, ripping her arm away from a touchy reporter who tried to grab her for questioning about Ren. She was having none of it as she charged by the entire horde of people, desperate to catch up to Ren before he got into some sort of trouble. Ren stumbled blindly through the streets, no longer sure where he was or for that matter, who he was. The only thing that he could register was that he didn't feel normal. Whatever was going on with him was wrong. His vision should not be blurry, and the road sure as hell should not have looked like it was rushing to smack him in the face.

That's exactly what it did as Ren fell forward numbly, his stomach giving a lurch as he fell to his knees, expelling the contents of his stomach onto the pavement in front of him. A metallic scent filled the air, and in some quickly awakening part of his consciousness, he knew that he should not be coughing up blood. Blood was bad, and he could see even in the dim lighting that what he had thrown up was far more blood than alcohol.

Ren fell forward and vomited again, this time his vision going almost completely dark before slowly focusing again. He couldn't see through the tears in his gaze, the burning in his throat and the churning of his stomach causing him to roll as far away from the pile as possible before collapsing, too weak to move. He only hoped that he wouldn't have to throw up again because by that point he honestly wasn't sure whether or not he would have the strength to roll himself over so that he didn't suffocate.

A choked laugh that sounded more like a broken sob to his still hazy ears burst from his mouth as he realized fully the situation he had gotten himself into. He was in some alley god knows where throwing up blood. Using the last bit of his strength the singer reached into his back pocket for his phone, finally realizing how much his fingers were shaking as he tried to grasp the one thing that might be a lifeline to him.

He didn't know who he could call. The chances were that if something serious were wrong with him, none of the members of Nu'Est would be able to reach him in time to provide any sort of assistance. His mind wandered back to the one person who at this point in time, he really didn't want to see. Something in screamed that he should call emergency services, but he wasn't sure if he had enough strength to talk.

With Seong, it would be simple to alert her that something was wrong. Having known each other as long as they had, they had developed the makings of their own language at some point during their childhood. He wasn't sure anymore when it had started, but they had developed short words for important things, such as if one of them was in trouble and needed help.

He was sure that word would serve him well now as he typed their safe-word into his phone, fingers just barely managing to hit send before the shaking in his hand worsened and the phone fell from his grasp. His stomach continued to toss and he closed his eyes against overwhelming nausea, tears filling streaming from his eyes as he prayed that he would be able to keep it down. Moving was painful, but if he didn't move and he got sick, he would die.

He sent a silent prayer to whoever was listening that Seong would get to him in time and that he wouldn't die in that alley surrounded by his own vomit and God knows what else, crying alone having never made things right with the one person who despite her apparent betrayal, still meant the world to him.

Ren felt his vision blackening once again as the nauseous feeling that he had been experiencing reached an all-time high. He forced himself to roll over, not able to see where he was but having no time to think about it as he retched onto the pavement again, coughing and choking as he accidentally swallowed some of it. He managed to cough and spit it out before he asphyxiated, but the act caused the copper taste of blood to fill his mouth even stronger than before.

He slumped forward again, his head connecting with the pavement hard enough for him to see stars. He realized too late that he was passing out, the sudden injury to his head not even giving him enough time to make sure that he was rolled to a position where he wouldn't choke if he threw up again, before the darkness that he had been fighting finally took over. Silent tears trickled down his face as his world went black and he was aware no more.

Panic was one of the strongest human emotions. That much made itself well known to Seong as she frantically ran, covering more ground in those few minutes than she had covered in her entire life. She didn't know where Ren was, but she had a gut feeling that even in his drunken state, he had probably tried to go in the direction of Nu'Est's dorm. She could only pray that she was right, because if she wasn't, she was afraid that Ren was going to die. He had never used their word for help outside of the most extreme emergencies, and for the first time in at least five years, he had sent her a message with that very same word that instantly made her heart drop like lead into her already unsettled stomach.

She had already called for an ambulance, explaining to the woman on the other line that she was sure that someone was in trouble and would take full responsibility if it turned out to be a hoax. Deep in her heart she knew that it wasn't that simple. She told the rescuer that she would find where the injured person was and then call them back so that they could reach Ren.

Spurred by adrenaline, her feet pounded across the dark pavement until she found an alley. She had a fear of going into dark and shady looking places at night, but she would do it for Ren. She had always trusted her gut feeling, and at that moment it was telling her that Ren was there and that he needed her more than he ever had before.

The first thing that she noticed was the strong odor permeating the air of the alley. It smelled musty and uninviting like you would expect from a place where countless crimes had more than likely been committed, but that was overshadowed by a foul scent that made her stomach churn - she didn't have to guess that it was vomit. Vomit wasn't the only scent that caught her hyperaware attention - the unmistakable scent of blood hit her hard, and she stumbled forward blindly in the dark.

It was only then that she saw the crumpled heap lying on the ground, surrounded by puddles of what looked to be something red. Seong's heart broke when she noticed long black hair and she knelt down beside the collapsed figure, rolling him over so she could be sure that it was her Ren.

It was. A choked sob escaped her lips as she realized that her best friend and former boyfriend was deathly pale, his breathing shallow and labored. Not to mention that somewhere in her daze she had managed to place both scents together and knew that he had been vomiting blood.

She scooted behind him so that his head was in her lap. Trying to see through her tears she stroked his sweat drenched hair fondly, hoping to relax him some. His body stiffened as he coughed and she barely managed to turn him onto his side before more vomit splattered across the pavement. Seong rubbed his back carefully as she reached for her phone and called back the EMT. Her voice was low and dead sounding as she told them where they were. Ren retched again and more tears streamed from her eyes.

It felt like hours but it couldn't have been more than minutes when flashing red and blue lights assaulted her eyesight in the previous darkness of the alley. She barely registered it as someone pulled Ren off of her lap and wrapped her in a blanket before gently hauling her to her feet.

She's ushered into the ambulance, her spirit feeling like it's outside of her body. She briefly registers her informing the emergency personnel that Ren was an idol in a band and would need to be in a private room to avoid the publicity that she knew would severely damage Nu'Est's reputation. Her fingers seemed to act on their own accord as she dialed JR's number. She could barely understand his panic filled voice as she told him that Ren had been injured and was being transported to a hospital in Seoul. She hung up quickly, unable to handle the tears that she could already hear making the leader's voice deeper.

The only thing that broke into her haze was Ren, his dark brown eyes dazed and confused as he blinked them open and instantly reached for Seong's hand. She held it tightly, her heart breaking at how completely weak that his hold on her hand was. It killed her seeing him like this, but before she could find the words to apologize, he was saying the words that she wanted to say to him, his voice desperate and pleading despite obviously having no strength to be convincing. She had no idea what he was talking about, and could only attribute it to his drunken delirium and loss of blood causing him to say things that made absolutely no sense. She was the one who needed to apologize, for breaking his heart and leading him down a dark path that she hadn't even known that he had been traveling on ever since their sudden breakup.

Her earlier adrenaline began to wear off and she finally felt the full weight of the situation. Because she had jumped to conclusions and immediately assumed that Ren had been cheating on her without giving him a chance to explain, here he was in an ambulance, pale and very sick. His eyes were glazed as he fought to keep them open, to keep holding Seong's gaze. It was a losing battle, that much was obvious as his grip on Seong's wrist became even slacker.

Wanting to keep her hold on his hand, Seong tightened her own grip and it was only then that she realized how cold that his hand felt. There was no heat radiating from his body - it was like he was already dead. One of the EMT's working to stabilize Ren paused for a moment and cast her a sympathetic look. “He's freezing. The vomiting and loss of consciousness, as well as the lack of body heat, are all symptoms of alcohol poisoning. That's my guess as to what's wrong with him, but the doctor will have to professionally diagnose him. It's a good thing that you got to him when you did.”

Seong nodded, blinking back tears as she stroked Ren's cold hand. A few seconds later his eyes closed and her breath hitched in her throat. “Minki?”

The EMT put her fingers against Ren's neck, checking for a pulse. “He's alive, just unconscious.” The EMT gave Seong a curious look as something clicked in place. “You said he's an idol? I remember him now - Ren from Nu'Est, correct?”

“Yes.”

“This doesn't seem like something he would do at all - drinking himself to this point. I don't know him personally, but he's always seemed so bubbly and happy. I guess appearances can be deceiving.”

“He normally is happy. It's just that he's been going through some issues lately. Some “fans” of Nu'Est don't support his appearance and fan's opinions of him weigh heavily in his mind. And then... we broke up. This is really my fault - I knew what he was going through, but I still believed some stupid rumor. Of course, I still don't know if I'm convinced that it isn't true, but I didn't even give him a chance to explain. If I had, maybe he wouldn't have started drinking. He wouldn't be in this mess right now.” Seong didn't really know why she was spilling all of this information to the EMT, but she couldn't stop.

The woman gave her a gentle smile. “He seems like a fighter - I'm sure he'll pull through. You can let him explain everything first thing when he wakes up.”

Seong nodded and returned the smile, even though it didn't quite reach her eyes.

“He has alcohol poisoning. I'm guessing that he continued drinking even after he was drunk. Many lightweight people get drunk much faster than they expect so they continue drinking, not realizing that they're already drunk because the alcohol hasn't caught up with them. I'm also guessing that he didn't eat before he started the night. The prognosis is good, however. We're giving him an IV to prevent dehydration. He should regain consciousness in a few hours when some of the alcohol wears off.”

“Thank you, doctor.” The doctor gave Seong a knowing smile and nodded before walking out of the room and letting the door fall closed behind him. Seong laid her head on Ren's bed, feeling completely exhausted. She lifted it up after a moment and glanced across the room to where JR was sitting. The other members were in the lobby due to the hospital's two visitor at a time policy. JR had insisted on being the first one to visit.

The leader had his eyes closed, but Seong didn't have to guess that he wasn't asleep. He was probably just like her - wracked by worry and guilt, unable to sleep if his life depended on it. As if sensing Seong's gaze on him, JR opened his eyes and stared back before running a hand through his hair. “You alright?” he asked softly.

Seong shook her head in way of answer. “No. You?”

“Nope. I'm relieved to hear that he's okay, but I should have known that his problem was getting worse. It's my responsibility as the leader to know my members - to watch over them and know when something is wrong. Not that I didn't see it, I just didn't know what to do about it.”

“You knew what to do.” Seong felt like crying again when JR gave her a questioning look, so she proceeded with her guilty thoughts. “You tried to call me and tell me that something wasn't right with him, but I didn't care. I was too hurt and I refused to see him. If I hadn't been so hard-headed, we could have stopped this before it started. I'm.. sorry JR.”

Seong barely registered it as one minute JR was sitting on the couch, and the next minute he was standing in front of her, his arms wrapped tightly around her. Seong hugged JR back, unable to do anything else as tears streamed down her face. She could hear him whispering consolations to her, but she didn't want to hear them. After a moment, JR pulled away and looked her square in the eyes, his expression more serious than she ever remembered seeing it. “It's not your fault. Some people don't have anything better to do than try and make idols lives a living hell. It was only natural that you believed the rumor with everything else circulating.”

“I should have trusted him, though.”

“That's what you think, but that's why it hit you so hard. You trusted him too much and felt like he betrayed you. That's like a weapon of mass destruction and can tear apart any relationship. You reacted like anyone else would have, sadly it wasn't the reaction that Ren wanted.” JR gave her a concerned look before sighing. “You look like shit - sorry for being blunt. I'm going to go and update everyone about his condition. Try to get some sleep, will you?”

Seong nodded and watched as JR left the room, allowing the door to fall closed behind him. Suddenly feeling the true weight of her exhaustion, Seong blinked a few times to try and clear her vision. It didn't help and she knew that the only way to recover would be to give in and sleep. The couch looked completely uninviting and she knew that if she tried to sleep in the chair, her back would hurt so bad when she woke up that she wouldn't be able to move; the only option was to crawl into bed with Ren- the bed was plenty wide enough for her to sleep if she stayed pressed against his side.

Kicking off her shoes quickly, she gingerly sat on the bed, carefully avoiding the wires attached to Ren before laying on her side. Seong pressed her head against Ren's chest, listening to his heart beating steadily. Even though they had broken up, her position felt natural - like she was still designed to fit perfectly against his side. For just a moment, she didn't care about the turn that their relationship had taken - she didn't care about her loss of trust in him. Right at that moment, she wanted to be with him. She was lulled to sleep quickly by the melodic sound of Ren's heartbeat.

Ren woke up feeling like complete and utter shit.

His head pounded, and he was almost certain that his brain was going to break out of his skull, and his stomach felt like it was trying to reject anything that he had put in it since birth. Despite that, there was a pleasant weight settled against his chest and he looked down curiously to figure out what it was.

He was met with familiar rod-straight black hair fanned around a pretty face. It was Seong, and she was sleeping in a bed with him. The singer blinked a few times before opening his eyes again, convinced that what he was seeing had to be an illusion or the perfect dream. Seong was still there when he looked down at his chest again, and he was finally convinced that she was really there with him. Ren's hand acted on its own accord as he reached towards her hair, needing to feel the comforting sensation of her soft hair through his fingertips.

Ren stroked her hair gently for what seemed like forever, until Seong's light brown eyes opened and he stopped, resting his arm behind his head. A slight blush colored her cheeks as she sat up and moved to the edge of the bed before looking back over her shoulder at Ren.

“Do you remember what happened?” she questioned worriedly. She had read on the internet that amnesia was a common symptom associated with alcohol poisoning. Ren thought for a moment before a distant look appeared on his face and Seong sighed.

“Yeah... I was drunk and there were reporters. I was trying to get away and I went into an alley. I think I got sick and passed out.”

“I didn't call those reporters, Minki.”

“I know. I wasn't thinking rationally. I knew I was jumping to conclusions even then, but I wasn't in my right mind. I'm sorry for accusing you or that.”

“Don't bother apologizing. It was the same thing that I did to you when I saw those pictures.”

Ren turned his attention back to Seong before closing his eyes tightly. "I just wish you had given me a second to convince you. I would never cheat on you with JR."

"Will you be honest with me? When you touch him is it really skin-ship? I've seen the way you look at him, Minki. There's something there but I don't know what.”

Ren took a deep breath, steeling his nerves as he lowered his gaze from Seong's. “I'm bisexual, Seong.”

Seong stared at him as if caught off guard. Then the surprise faded from her expression. “So you do like JR?”

“Yeah. But I've never kissed him - I've never done anything with him. I don't know how to make that any clearer. Those pictures, every single one of them was photoshopped. I don't know why they look so convincing, but you have to trust me when I say that even if I've had thoughts like that about JR in the past, they're thoughts, and I've never acted on them. I'm never going to act on them because you mean the world to me.”

Seong felt tears pricking at her eyes and she looked away, desperate not to cry in front of him. “I'm sorry for not giving you the chance to explain. I don't even know why I didn't let you explain - something in me snapped when I saw those pictures. I was already upset because I felt like I haven't really known you since you debuted. But I should have known that those pictures weren't real considering what else was going on during that time. All of those comments about you, the hate and rumors, and I fell right into the trap.”

Ren sighed. “You did, but at least you realize that. It taught me something, though - we trust each other, but not as much as we thought. That might really be something to think about in the future.”

Seong gave him a defeated look. “You say that like you still that we have a future.”

“As far as I'm concerned, we do. That is if you want us to.”

Seong's eyes widened and she blinked back tears for what felt like the millionth time. “I'd like that.”

Ren's expression instantly brightened as relief swept over him. “Come here.” Seong settled back down on the bed beside him and he planted a kiss on her forehead. “I love you, Seong.”

“I love you too. Promise me that you're going to stop drinking. It's not healthy for you and I never want to see you like that again.”

The singer's expression became guilty as he stroked a hand through her long hair. “I promise. Drinking wasn't very fun anyway - I think I have a really low tolerance. Being hungover during practice was the worst thing I've ever done.”

Seong chuckled before snuggling into his side, her previous exhaustion once again catching up with her. Ren relaxed too, still feeling weak from his illness. The two soon fell asleep wrapped in a familiar embrace.

#nu'est #ren #jr #minhyun #baekho #aaron #pledis #mental health #angst

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seoulxsinners · 6 years ago

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Goodbye (Kazuki self para Ft. Rensun and Jeayeong)

@yeongxmi (since you said you wanted to read it last night)

Kazuki Moved thought the studio quickly. He had someone to avoid. Someone he was promised to never come across in variety shows or the like. He leaned against a wall sighing loudly. He jumped when Minchan shows up beside him.

"It's in the back alley don't be seen, we have your absence covered," the manager said holding keys out to Kazuki. Kazuki nodded pulling the hood of his jacket up and left quickly.

As Kazuki drove down the road, he hit the steering wheel. Why was Jaeyeong even there? He wasn't the act that Kazuki and Lei were hosting for a season. He hated running but Jaeyeong was one thing, he wasn't ready to face just yet.

Walking into the dorm, Kazuki ignored Minki asking why he was back so early. He walked past Rensun who was in the kitchen also wondering why Kazuki was back without Lei. However, the vampire knew that look on Kazuki's face.

When he made it to his room, Kazuki threw his keys against the wall. He screamed cursing as his fist shook he wanted to hit something. He knew Jaeyeong was trying to prove that Kazuki was Takumi. Kazuki couldn't let that out it would put them both in danger he was sure. He screamed again when he punched the wall.

"Feel better?" Rensun asked as he walked in shutting the door behind him. "I can smell him, did he see you?"

Kazuki shook his head looking at the ground. As soon as Rensun had his arm around Kazuki the young ghoul was crying, something he rarely did. Rensun was the only one to ever see Kazuki cry. The only member of 11th hour that Kazuki has even opened up too.

Rensun moved to the bed with Kazuki holding him. They knew that this was what he needed right now. However, Rensun sighed as they felt lits at their neck.

"No." Rensun shook his head pushing Kazuki back slightly. Kazuki watched the vampire and moved to kiss him again.

"Just let me feel something." Kazuki sighed as Rensun pulled away.

"I'm not him I will never be him," Rensun said getting up. They moved to leave to let Kazuki have some time alone. They stooped when Kazuki took hold of his wrist.

"I don't want to be alone," Kazuki said. "I wont.. I'm sorry I did" Kazuki knew that Ren sun had feelings for him. He knew that kiss was cruel. When Rensun nodded that they would stay, Kazuki gave him a small smile. Moving up to sit on the bed more, Rensun sat beside Kazuki.

"He's dead." Kazuki said taking Rensun's hand as he leaned on the vampire. "Takumi, The man Jeayeong is determined to find, They cut him and beat him out of me."

"No, they didn't," Rensun said pointing to the desk drawer. They knew that Kazuki kept mementos of his past in that drawer. "That wouldn't exist. And you would have gotten rid of the ring."

Kazuki's hands went to his neck, where he had a ring on a chain. He sighed shifting to lay on Rensun's chest. "I'm sorry."

Rensun looked at Kazuki confused, "For what, No one knew that he'd-"

"Not that," Kazuki shook his head. "I can't love you back."

Rensun smiled and shook their head. "You are not the first rejection in my life. You certainly will not be my last"

Kazuki nodded closing his eyes. "I'm still sorry," he said as he fell asleep. The exhaustion had taken him over. Rensun just watched him sleep brushing hair out of his face. The vampire slowly fell asleep beside Kazuki

Both were woken up by a knock on the door. Kazuki went to open the door just enough for Lei to see him. "He gave me this I told him I'd give it to you that was all," Lei said then turned to leave. "Oh, and you had food poisoning."

Kazuki shut the door and looked at the letter Lei handed him. He looked over to Rensun, then back at the letter in his hand. Walking over he held it out to Rensun. "I can't."

Rensun nodded taking the note, He opened it and read a bit of it. He began to read the letter out loud to Kazuki.

Kazuki, I hear that is what you go by now. But remember I know you. I know you in ways no one else does. I hoped to talk to you tonight, but I knew I wouldn't be able too. I'm Hoping that hawked of a Manager you have doesn't intercept this.

I know you're scared, I can hear in your voice, see it in your face. It's not the company you are with I can tell that much. Rensun, is that the long-haired one's name? He seems a comfort. I'm glad there is someone there for you at this time.

I don't expect you to tell me what scares you so much. I'm sure it has to do with the night you disappeared. I knew you were alive your's was the only body not found. Whatever happened you can come to me if you need.

But, that is not why I'm writing this letter. I need you to know that I had an answer for that question you asked. Before we had that fight and you left. I was scared at the time. We just debuted marrying you would have changed everything. But the answer is and was -

Kazuki pulled the letter from Rensun's hands as he finished reading it. Tears fell from his face as held the ring on his neck.

"What will you do?" Rensun asked.

Rensun watched Kazuki a bit longer then nodded. Getting up Rensun grabbed the keys and held the door open for Kazuki. The drive was quite as Kazuki tried to write a letter to Jaeyeong.

Jae I wish I could tell you more than this. You deserve more than just this. But I cant. What I can do is tell you this. I understand why your answer was no. Why marrying me was too much at the time. Maybe if I hadn't gone out that night with the rest of the group, we would be married now. But That man is dead he died in the fire that took the rest of our group.

I will never be the man you once loved. I can't be that man ever again. You need to let me go Jae. Move on finding someone who can be there for you. Find someone who makes you smile in that way that lights up the whole room. Live your life.

Sincerely,

Kazuki paused looking at the letter. He thought about what to sign it as then sighed Writing out the name Kazuki.

Rensun pulled up to the address he had gotten from Minchan while Kazuki wrote. Kazuki looked at the door then at the letter. "I can't go up there I won't have the strength."

Rensun held his hand out taking the letter. Once Jeayeong buzzed Rensun in he walked up to the door behind the gate. Kazuki watched them talking to Jaeyeong then hand the letter over. Jaeyeong gave Rensun something and nodded leaving with the letter.

Coming back down Rensun got in the car and started it up as he started to drive. Kazuki pulled a small necklace out of the box. It was a simple charm all Kazuki could afford at the time. It was from their first date. Looking around Kazuki smiled it was as if an anchor was lifted from his chest.

#kazuki. once upon a december #note if anyone picks up jaeyeong to play agianst kazuki this can become au

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pinksausageduo · 7 years ago

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hwang minhyun|my rival to my husband

member: hwang minhyun genre: fluffy summary: you and minhyun started off as rival co workers fighting for the CEO position and end up dating and eventually getting married requested: yes

you were part of a super successful law firm

there were two sections of the law firm, one for big businesses which took care of contracts and a bit of finance and another for private expensive lawsuits and you were the head of the private lawsuits

then there was your boss who was the CEO of the whole firm

when he decided to retire, the heads of the two sections basically had to battle it out for the CEO position

the other head was a polite but cold man, his name was

Hwang Minhyun

you and minhyun always had a tense relationship always trying to be better than one another because of the competition between the sections

that competition only increased as the CEO position was up for grabs

instead of exchanging your normal somewhat friendly greetings and making small talk when you have to talk to each other

it ended up being awkward silences, a few glares and tight lipped smiles

both of you were working your asses off to get this position but the CEO had such a hard time choosing because

you were known to be super friendly and outgoing, being a great head since you were nice but you were also very organised and made sure everyone did their work

but since you were more understanding and caring it was hard for you to fire people even if they were slacking off on their work especially because most people just had things that have to do with family

minhyun had a different way of running his section

he was extremely organised, through and strict

he was polite but very quiet, he was also extremely handsome

you heard many of your co workers fan over him

you understood where they were coming from, with his perfect skin, jet black hair, pink lips, a tall frame all wrapped up in a black suit day in and out

but you didn’t have time for a man at all, you were completely focused on your career and no guy you’ve met could understand that

you haven’t gone a date since college which was 3 years ago

your career was skyrocketing and now the CEO position was open with only one person between you and that position you were determined to get it

one day your CEO called you into his office, as you entered you saw minhyun but you knew your CEO wasn’t telling you who’s replacing him because he said he’ll announce it in a month

as you enter your eye catches minhyun’s and for a split second you felt butterflies, you brush it off thinking it’s just nerves

your CEO for your final assignment it’s decided that you and minhyun would work on a case together

you were about to protest but looking at minhyun smiling politely and saying it was a great idea and that he’d love to work with you

you whispered under your breath “suck up”

but you gritted your teeth and smiled and said half heartedly that it’s a great idea

as you were leaving you heard minhyun say quietly to you “i might be a suck up but you’re completely incompetent which means i’m definitely getting this position”

he smirks at you arrogantly and leaves quickly

you look at him leaving incredulously not believing how rude he was but you also admit you were a bit of a bitch saying he was a suck up

you also thought you said it quietly enough for you to hear and no one else

but you didn’t know how much you hurt his pride by saying he was a suck up, he just wanted to do well

you’re standing there dumbfounded but also hurt that he said you were incompetent especially because of how much work you put in

you kept what he said to yourself feeling extremely embarrassed that he said that

but minhyun on the other hand ranted to minki, jonghyun, dongho and youngmin

“she’s so annoying and rude, like calling me a suck up really?! like i’m not am i?” dongho just said that he was smirking and minhyun rolled his eyes

“but afterwards i was bit too harsh to her like i called her incompetent”

he basically went back and forward of being mad at you and feeling bad

anyways you end up seeing minhyun a lot because of the case

you guys just split the work in half and decided to meet up when it was necessary

it was always strained, cold and extremely short meetings but one night everyone had left except for you and him

you both still had to finish all your work as heads and then work on the case on top of it all

you end up working in the same meeting room because you need to ask each other a few things about the case and then you both would go back to typing super fast

you get a notification that your pizza arrived, and you’re so happy you needed pizza you were sooo hungry

you dash out of meeting room as fast you can while taking off your heels, so you can run, flinging them behind you

minhyun is just extremely confused as he sees you bolt out of the room

you come back with a pizza box which smells amazing to him since he still hasn’t eaten dinner and it was 10pm

you also have two cans of soda with you

he looks at you in shock and surprise, knowing one’s for him

you smile brightly at him, not caring about the rude comment he made or the strained conversations because he’s working as late as you and you knew he had no dinner

plus he’s doing so much work, you really admire his determination and work ethic, and he really shouldn’t do it on an empty stomach

you say to him sweetly “here’s some pizza, i know you haven’t eaten all night and if you’re like me, you’re gonna be here for a few more hours”

you add apologetically “sorry it’s not beer, I don’t really drink”

he shyly smiles at you being taken aback from your kindness being extremely surprised by who you actually were

before he thought you slacked off on your work, socialised too much, and was also rude from the comment you made

you completely dismissed those thoughts from him, working as much as he did and really long hours as well, he saw how well organised you were and you got him some pizza even after what he said to you

his heart can’t help but get suddenly quicker as he looked at you and realised how pretty you are

how your eyes lighted up when you smiled and how you look so cute with you hair in a bit of a mess and small coffee stains on your shirt

he finally finds his words “oh no, i don’t really drink either, there was this one time i tried beer and i nearly choked” he ended with a chuckle

THE HITE COMMERCIAL IS A LIE MINHYUN A LIE

your heart unexpectedly flutters as you hear his soft laugh you scold yourself telling yourself you can’t like him you’re competing with him

plus you needed to be focused on your career and a guy can not come into the equation

anyways you both eat pizza and drink soda and just have a great time, talking about work, hobbies, family, friends, your old schools

you both ended up sitting next to each other, helping each other with the different parts of the case

whenever your hands brushed against each other or you super close with each other both of your hearts speed up

and minhyun blushing lightly saying how hot it was in the room

you both end up leaving at 2am, spending a few more hours to talk than you both planned

as you get home you called your best friend and talk about how such an amazing guy minhyun is and how he completely understands you

and she’s like what?? isn’t this the guy you hated like a day ago and you were like whatever he’s amazing now

minhyun gets back to his apartment where minki was sprawled over the couch since he just got back from a party

minki looks at him for a second confused then screams ‘WHO IS SHE???”

minhyun replies “what, she? i’m confused”

minki rolls his eyes and says “the girl who’s making you like a lovesick puppy”

“seriously minki i do not look like a lovesick puppy but it’s the girl i was complaining about earlier, we spent the night-NO NOT IN THAT WAY WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE- but she’s super sweet and just beautiful”

“whatever you say minhyun-ah, but she got you wrapped around her finger” minki teased

“arghhhh, minkiiii, i’m just gonna go to bed” minhyun said while ruffling his hair in frustration

anyways

these sort of nights become a regular thing for you two

you both end up falling for each other, like a lot a lot

you literally stare at each other in meetings, and when you meet eye contact both of you blush or it’s like you guys making funny faces the whole time

the thing is both of you know you like each other but it’s just something you both don’t talk about LIKE NEVER cause you’re shy beans

you guys finish the case and it ends up being such a success

the CEOnim asks you two since you both performed so well you both could have a joint CEO position

you two both agree happily and after all the papers are signed

you jump into minhyun’s arms exclaiming how happy you are and he beams back at you saying he’s so glad that you can share the position to

you both suddenly realise how close you are to each other

he whispers to you “y/n can i kiss you?”

your heart explodes and you give him a small nod and a smile

he gives you a sweet and soft kiss on the lips it was short but you loved it it felt so right and you felt all warm and fuzzy inside

he starts speaking again “as you can tell i like you, like so much and i have since the night you brought me pizza, so will you be my girlfriend?”

he can’t meet your eyes and is face his bright red you giggle softly at the sight

you cups his face gently and look at him directly in the eye

“i’d love to be your girlfriend minhyun.”

he smiles a bright smile and you can’t help but admire the way his eyes crinkle up as he does

he hugs you tightly, him remembering the scent of you and how you fit perfectly in his arms

anyways you guys date for about a year before he pops the question

lol don’t kill me for skipping so much it’s gonna be too long if i do it all

you guys end up moving in together in the apartment which is provided for the CEO of the company

dates with him consisted of like amazing dinner and movie dates, walks and picnics in the park, or just cuddling up on the sofa with your favourite pizza and soda

the whole joint CEO system worked super well

your personalities balanced each others perfectly

minhyun also became much more friendly and open because of you

you were like a little sister to all the nu’est guys and they always sided with you instead of minhyun

“youngmin oppaaaa minhyun won’t let me eat his chocolate” you say pouting to youngmin

“YAH! HWANG MINHYUN GIVE Y/N YOUR CHOCOLATE, SHE NEEDS TO EAT!!!” he shouts at minhyun

“HYUNGGG WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TAKE HER SIDE??” minhyun complains

“BECAUSE I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU” youngmin retorts while scoffing

you open your mouth cutely and minhyun feeds you a chocolate trying to be pissed off but he fails at not smiling when he saw you moan how good it was he laughed super loudly

anyways it was just a random night and you and minhyun doing your favourite date, cuddling, eating pizza and watching netflix

as you were on the couch, you notice there was no pizza and you asked minhyun where the pizza box was and he replied “this box?”

you gasp as you saw the small velvet box

he got down on one knee and smiles at you he starts to talk sweetly to you

“y/n exactly one year ago, i fell in love with you, you brought me pizza and a can of soda remember? so a year later here i am completely devoted and madly in love with you. you are my other half and i can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else so y/n will you be my wife, mrs minhyun hwang?”

as he finished, you started crying and said “YES! YES! YES! minhyun i love you so much, i truly couldn’t imagine my life without you”

he slides the ring up your fourth finger

your hug him super tightly feeling like the happiest person in the world

time skip after the wedding cause you’re really lazy author is NOT BOTHERED i’m sorry okayyyy still love meee

your wedding was amazing, it was super small and very low key, with only your closest friends and family for a short ceremony and the reception was a fancy meal

the vows exchanged were super sweet and everyone at the wedding could see the love radiating from you two

you decided not to go on a honeymoon because of how busy you were both at the company

your marriage was amazing the best way to describe it is comfortable

you both helped each other so much at work and at home

you would work like such a well oiled machine at work you’d be across from each other offices

always bringing each other coffee and drinks

being the ultimate couple in your company

doing like work 2x faster because of each other

you’d both get to work and drive back at home at the same time since minhyun loves driving you two

you’d sometimes just go on a detour to like mcdonalds to get dinner

or like drive around the city

at home everything is super nice like you’d do the chores together (mostly minhyun tbh) and like have so much fun doing it

cooking was extremely simple because both of you didn’t know how to cook

when both of you tried to cook it would be a complete disaster which ended up both of you getting head to toe covered in different ingredients or something burning

‘MINHYUN WE’RE SUPPOSED TO ADD THE ICING SUGAR INTO THE ICING NOT THE CAKE BATTER!!” you’d jokingly scream at him

“oopsie, would a kiss make it better?” he would say cutely

“no, make it again, i don’t want your kisses” you’d say jokingly pissed off

he’d wrap your arms around you giving you a back hug

“ohhhh come onnn, hmmm how about tickling?” then he’d tickle you and you’d burst out laughing

he’d tickle you so much you end up spilling the cake batter all over you him

“oopsieee” you say sweetly, smiling cheekily

and minhyun looks at you in disbelief and then he throws an egg at you smirking at you as you look at him in fake shock

which basically ends up into a huge food fight

moving on

you guys love cuddling up on the couch whether it ended up with you two doing work or just watching netflix it was just nice to have each other there

the favourite bit of your day was when both of you were about to sleep

and you’d just be in minhyun’s arms and you could hear his steady heartbeat

you just felt so loved and happy when you were with him

whether that was at work or at home, night or day it really didn’t matter because he was so completely in love with you and you were too

you knew that you would be one of those lucky couples which grew old together not only because of your love but how you guys were best friends and how comfortable you guys were with each other

you knew

hwang minhyun will forever and always be your husband and you will always be his wife

IM SORRY FOR LIKE SKIPPING THE WEDDING & LIKE A LOT OF THE DATING. I HAVE A MAJOR MATHS TEST TOMORROW AND LIKE I DIDN’T REVISE AND WROTE INSTEAD lmao next few hours just gonna be revision. I hope y’all still liked it tho even tho it was pre rushed. The request was actually just marriage life with minhyun but like i basically made it into an enemy to lovers to married couple so whoopsss. anon who requested hope you still like it!!!

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joshuaseggtarteu · 8 years ago

Text

Unrequited Love, Until It's Not (Ren/Minki Model AU)

AN: Wow it’s been forever since I actually finished and posted some writing, I feel pretty accomplished right now lol. Thank you anon friend for submitting this request, and I’m sorry I made you wait so long! Honestly, this is my second smut and I’m not sure how I feel about it, I really hope I did a good job. Ren deserves better than my amateur writing, but I did my best. <3 WARNINGS: smut, self-hate/body shaming (it’s really slight, but still there)

Summary: Envying your fellow models was normal, encouraged even. Envy made you strive to do your absolute best, at least that’s what your agent kept telling you. The feelings you had towards Ren were different though, they were much stronger.

He was perfect. From the way, he radiated confidence with every step he took, to the way he managed to look absolutely flawless without even trying. Yes, Choi Minki was perfect, and you hated him for it. In the nearly two years that you have been working with Minki - or Ren as he preferred to go by, you have come to despise everything about him.

But how could you not? In the modeling business envying your fellow models was normal, encouraged even. Envy made you strive to do your absolute best, at least that’s what your agent kept telling you. The feelings you had towards Ren were different though, they were much stronger.

He seems to have a way of making everything look so easy and effortless, not to mention look absolutely stunning in any outfit he is given to wear, and you mean it when you say any. It just isn’t fair that he looks better in a skirt and blouse then you do, and what makes it worse is that he knows it too.

“Oh y/n, we both know this colour doesn’t flatter you nearly as well as it does me.” The colour he refers to is the lavender of the skirt he’s wearing along with a pearly white button up.

“Shut up Ren” you spit, your arms crossed over your chest and an annoyed look plastered on your face. The two of you were backstage getting ready for your division to walk the runway. As if hating Ren wasn’t enough, you somehow always ended up in the same section as him or partnered with him for most fashion shows. This time you were both modeling Pledis’s new Spring Fashion line and were partnered to walk out together as well.

“Just because you can pull off just about any outfit-”

“Not just about, I can pull off any outfit.” He smirks and you have to resist the strong urge to hit him.

“Fine, whatever. My point is, it doesn’t give you the right to put the rest of us down about it.”

“Sweet y/n,” he chimes teasingly “it’s not like I asked to look this beautiful.” He tosses a lock of hair over his shoulder to emphasize his unattainable beauty.

Before you can rebut one of the backstage managers approaches you. “The Spring Fashion line is up next, are you two ready?”

“Yeah, we’ll be right out,” you say and watch her leave. You turn to speak to Ren again: “don’t let your overblown ego show too much out there, I don’t need you making me look bad.” With that, you turn on your heels and leave the room to line up with the other models in your division. Ren chuckles quietly to himself shaking his head before following you out to the stage.

You watch as the other models walk out, two by two strutting themselves with confidence. You and Ren are the last in line so you still have to wait for two more pairs to go before you. As you approach the front of the line the familiar feeling of butterflies in your stomach takes over and you bite the inside of your gum anxiously. It’s silly for you to still be feeling nervous seeing as you’ve been working in this industry for two years now, but still, the butterflies come every time, right before you step on the catwalk.

The pair in front of you is beginning to walk back so you and Ren get the okay from your manager to go out. You take a deep breath to calm your nerves and make your way around the curtain and onto the catwalk. Instantly, you are blinded by the flashes of hundreds of cameras. This at least, you have grown used to and your eyes adjust after a second or two. With your posture straight and shoulders back, you strut. Ren matches each of your steps with one hand on his hip and a bold expression on his face. You feel the butterflies returning so you force yourself to just look forward, hoping they will go away.

You reach the end of the catwalk and pose; one hand holding the front of the denim jacket you’re modeling over a white floral patterned dress and the other hanging loosely by your side. You lean towards the center of the catwalk and feel your shoulder brush against Ren’s. Picking a spot in the room to stare at you tilt your head slightly back and to one side wearing a bold and daring expression and freeze while the photographers take your picture. After about a minute you turn sideways so that your body is facing Ren, but you continue to look forward and he does the same. With your front hand on your hip, you bend one leg and pose again. Ren casually rests a hand on your shoulder, tilting his head back slightly and freezing also.

As you start to walk back, the rest of the models in your section come out for one final appearance. You and Ren take your places at the back of the lines and wait. You must admit, it caught you off guard when he placed his hand on your shoulder, but you decide to brush it off as him just pleasing the photographers.

One of the perks of standing in the back is that not many people are paying attention to you, which allows you to take the risk of looking around. You let your eyes scan the room, seeing only dark figures and flashing lights since all the overhead lights are pointed towards the catwalk. Your eyes land on Ren and find him looking back at you with a smile on his face. He’s posture is so laid back and relaxed, you only wish you could be like that. Even when your eyes meet, he doesn’t look away until it’s time to walk off stage.

“Good job everyone! You all did great!” your manager applauses when you are all backstage again. She goes around giving each of the models feedback, which is something she does after every show. She makes her way towards you, stopping at your partner first.

“Ren, excellent as always. I saw Park Jin Young watching you closely,” she says with a smile “if we can get the JYP company to invest in this line, we could take Pledis Fashion to the next level and you could possibly become the face of this company.”

“Manager-nim you flatter me, but I’m sure I’m not the only one he was looking at. Y/n was right there next to me after all.” He shoots you a sideways smile which you scoff at.

“Ah yes, Y/n, you were excellent today! With your bold expressions, I loved it.”

The look in her eye said she was building you up for something, she never just gave you a compliment and you couldn’t help be hate her for it. “But..” you say, inviting her to continue with the criticism.

“But, you walked out nervous again. If I could see it, they could see it. You’ve been modeling for 2 years now, you need to get this under control.”

You take a deep breath and stare at the ceiling, this isn’t the first time your visible nervousness has come up in discussions, but every time it has, you either end up in an argument or storming off in a fit of rage. “You know I’m doing my best to hide it” you reply exasperated.

“I do, but I was thinking.. maybe it’s time you had someone help you get rid of your butterflies.”

You stare at her with wide eyes, scared to hear what she’s about to say, “who did you have in mind?”

Her eyes fall on Ren and you don’t even wait for her to say it. “Oh hell no! I don’t need anyone’s help! Especially, not his.” Before anyone could respond to your outburst you storm off to go get changed.

Your manager and Ren stand in silence for a moment, the weight of your words still linger in the air. “Don’t take her words to heart, Ren. You know how she can be.”

“Yeah, I guess” is all he says before also heading off to change.

***

The next day you walk into work determined to get rid of your butterflies once and for all. You enter the showroom and stand in front of the catwalk, “I have nothing to be afraid of” you say, climbing the stairs to stand on top. You face the empty room before you and shut your eyes imagining it is full of people. “I can do this,” you whisper and take a step forward. Eyes still closed, you continue to walk, conscious of the slight stiffness of your posture and how shaky your breaths are coming out. You walk slowly counting each step as you go. At twenty you open your eyes and find yourself two steps away from the end of the stage. Now that you know how long it is you can keep your eyes shut without worrying about walking right off.

You walk the catwalk about 5 times before you feel yourself relax and your breathing steady. “See,” you tell yourself, “I don’t need his help.”

Feeling more confident now, you head to the back to find an outfit you can model. After going through a couple, you settle on an elegant black evening gown. It’s not the style you're used to modeling in, but since you’re feeling confident you decide: “why not.”

Slipping into the dress you find a pair of silver heels and jewelry to match. You walk over to the mirror to check yourself out before you go back on the catwalk. The dress is low cut with thin straps and is absolutely stunning in every way, except for the way it closely hugs your center.

You pout and poke your stomach frowning, “fat” you say in disgust. Continuing to examine yourself, you move up to your face. “Ugh, why am I so ugly?” you ask yourself as you pull at the skin under your chin.

“You’re kidding, right?” you spin around to find the source of the voice, almost twisting your ankle from the momentum. Ren stands in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest and a frown visible on his face. With the hair extensions from the day before now gone, his short brown hair sits neatly atop his head.

“What are you talking about?” you ask, wondering how long he had been standing there.

“You can’t honestly stand in front of that mirror and tell me what you see is ugly.”

You are taken aback by his words and have to take a moment to recover. “Alright,” you start slowly, “what do you see when you look at me then?” you weren’t sure what you were expecting to be his answer. As far as you knew, you hated him and he hated you, that’s just the way things have always been. But there’s something in the sad look he gives you that makes you wonder if maybe you are wrong.

He walks forward as he speaks, closing the distance between you: “when I look at you, I see the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. I see a woman who can turn every head just by walking into a room but is too self-conscious to see it herself.” He’s closed the gap and now stands just centimeters away from you, so close that you can feel his warm breaths hit you own cold skin. “And I see,” his eyes lock on yours and you can’t will yourself to look away, “a woman so blinded by envy, that she can’t see my love for her.”

You stand in silence for what feels like an eternity. His eyes still hold yours as he waits for a response to his confession. You honestly didn’t know what to say. How could you have had it so wrong? Choi Minki was in love with you? It couldn’t be possible. Your mind thinks back to all the times he teased you. You took it as genuine attempts to hurt you, but maybe he was only joking around. Trying to get a smile or a chuckle out of you or anything else that might imply that you didn’t hate him as much as you thought you did- wait, thought? No. You hated him, didn’t you?

You scrunch your eyes shut. If there was a possibility that you had your own feelings classified wrong too, now was the time to figure it out. “Y/n..” he hesitates, beginning to regret his rash decision to confess. “Shh” is all that leaves your lips as you rack your brain for answers. What was it he had said? So blinded with envy? Had you turned your jealousy into hatred, or had you just changed the name to justify the feeling? Another thought came to mind and the realization hit you like a wave.

You open your eyes and stare at the man before you. “It was never the modeling that made me nervous,” he frowns his brows not seeing where you were going with this. “From the very beginning, we’ve been partnered together for shows or put in the same line. It’s not going out on the catwalk that gives me butterflies, it’s you.”

“I make you nervous?” his eyes get sad and it hurts you to look at them.

“No, that’s not what I mean. You’re right I do envy you and it has made me blind, to a lot of this actually.” The next part you say quickly, as to not hurt him anymore: “I convinced myself I hated you because I didn’t want to admit to myself that I like you. You’re so perfect and I never thought I’d be good enough for you. That’s why being so close to you on stage makes me nervous, but I tricked myself again into believing that it was all the people watching, when it was only ever you.”

It was your turn to wait for a response now, though he didn’t make you wait long. “Y/n, would you do me the honour of going on a date with me?”

If you’re being honest with yourself, a part of you had expected him to kiss you there and then. But still, you let a smile creep onto your face before replying: “I would love too.”

***

It’s just after noon when you hear a knock at your front door. You put the final touches on your makeup and give yourself a quick once-over in the mirror before answering the knock. Ren stands on the other side wearing a black button up shirt and ripped denim jeans. He holds a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a picnic basket in the other.

“Are you ready for our date?” he asks cheekily when you open the door.

“Yes, just let me put these in some water” you answer, accepting the flowers from him, “They’re beautiful, thank you.”

You find a vase to fill with water and put the flowers in, then return to the door where Ren waits patiently. “Okay, let’s go.”

The two of you walk hand in hand to the park near your house. It’s almost surreal how beautiful and perfect the weather is, like right out of a fairytale. Birds are chirping, the sun is shining and the sky is painted bright blue.

You walk through the park, watching children play as you go. It’s not until you reach the lake that you stop. “A picnic by the lake, how cheesily romantic of you” you tease.

“Well, I felt that you were lacking cheesy romance in your life. Unless you don’t like it?”

You laugh and shake your head, “I love it.”

You help him spread the picnic blanket and lay out the food before throwing back and looking over the lake. “isn’t it just breathtaking” you say, not taking your gaze off the body of water.

“Sure, but not as breathtaking as you.”

You sit upright glaring at him, “you’re such a tease” you say laughing and grab a sandwich from the plate in front of you. The next little while is spent eating sandwiches and talking. You may have worked with Ren for two years, but you were finding out now that you know close to nothing about him.

“You do not still watch Pokémon” you’re doubling over with laughter causing him to pout at your reaction.

“I have dedicated myself to following Ash on his journey, however long that may be.”

“Ash has been ten years old for the past twenty years, and in twenty years, he still hasn’t been able to become a Pokémon master. If he hasn’t done it yet, I doubt he ever will.”

He gasps dramatically, “I’m going to tell him you said that.”

“Go right ahead, and while you’re at it let him know that I’d beat him in a battle any day.”

“I highly doubt that, seeing as you can’t even protect your own food.” Right as he says it he leans over and takes a bite of your sandwich smiling up at you playfully.

“You’re so childish, why have I never seen this side of you.”

“I consider it to be more playful, and you have seen it. You just never took it the right way.”

You let his words sink in and think about all the encounters the two of you have had at work. Looking back now you can see how his actions could be considered playful if you had just been willing to accept it. “I’m sorry for the way I treated you, Ren.” The undeniable guilt is building up inside of you: “ Why are you so willing to overlook how awful I’ve been to you?

His smile disappears and is replaced with a serious expression. “Y/n, I’ve waited two years for a moment like this to come along, where I could take you out and show you how much you mean to me. Why should I prolong it furthered just because you misunderstood me in the past? You know how I feel about you now, don’t you?”

It’s not a question he wants to hear the answer to, but one he wants to feel. Leaning towards you, his eyes flutter shut as he brings his face closer to yours. You’re not sure if this is what you want but your body betrays your mind and you find yourself eliminating the last bit of space between you, your lips connecting with his.

Any doubts you had before are gone. When you kiss him it feels like all of your senses go into overdrive. The whole world melts away except for you and him and your high senses are taking in his every last detail. The smell of his cologne is filling your nostrils and his touch is burning into your skin in the most pleasurable way. Before you know it he has you lying flat on the blanket as he positions his body over top of you, kissing you deeply.

Lost in the feeling of each other, the two of you forget that you are in a public place. From somewhere in the distance you hear a short “ehem” the brings you back to reality. You feel Ren’s body shift and then leave you completely. “What’s wrong?” you ask pouting and finally opening your eyes again. A woman stands above you with her hand on her hips and a crossed look on her face.

“Hi, I sorry for interrupting the moment you two were having, but you seemed to have forgotten that this is a public park, with children present. So, if you wouldn’t mind continuing your date somewhere else please.”

As annoyed as she is she keeps a kind tone in her voice so you accept her request with a shy “sorry” and begin to pack your food back into the picnic basket. “My apartment isn’t too far from here if you want to..” there’s something in his voice that sound all too suggestive and you can’t help but smirk.

“Lead the way Mr.Choi.” He chuckles at your response leading you out of the park.

The walk to his apartment feels much longer than it actually is. The feeling of his lips still linger on your own and you’re eager to have him on you again. He leads you around a corner where you come face to face with a deluxe apartment building, probably 20 stories high. “Here we are,” he says guiding you through the main doors. You take the elevator up to the 15th floor and neither of you speaks the whole way up. The air around you is growing thick as you both take turns stealing glances at each other and let forbidden thoughts fill your mind.

“My apartment is just down this hallway; 15B.” you follow his hand with your eyes and can see the door to his apartment halfway down the hall. Your stomach does a flip with excitement when the realization sinks in about how close you are and what you’re about to do.

The other side of the door reveals a very modern styled apartment. The walls are painted a solid grey colour, the floor is white tile, and the furniture is black with grey, white and blue accessories. The wall in front of you is lined end to end with windows, giving you an excellent view of the city and a black cushion runs across the sill making it the perfect place for late night thinking.

“Like what you see?” His question breaks you out of your thoughts and you realize that you haven’t moved from the front door yet.

“Yeah, it’s gorgeous” you reply feeling slightly embarrassed.

“I would give you a tour but,” he wraps his arms around your waist pulling you close to him “I was hoping you’d want to pick up where we left off at the park?”

With your bodies so close together you can feel the heat radiating off of both of you, the heat that never quite left to begin with. You grin before pulling him in for a kiss. His lips mold with yours perfectly and he leans in to deepen the kiss. Before it can go any further you pull away making him whine from the lack of contact: “that’s about where we left off right?”

A grunt is the only response you get before he takes your hand and quickly leads you to his bedroom. The light grey walls and blue duvet are the only things you get to see before Ren has you pinned down on the bed and proceeds to leave kisses down the side of your neck. You're like putty in his hands and it doesn’t take long before your mind goes blank with pleasure and you’re moaning his name.

“Already moaning for me and I haven’t even taken your clothes off yet.”

“Well, what are you waiting for?” you ask, beginning to tug at the buttons of his shirt. He laughs at your eagerness allowing his hands to glide down your body to the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head with ease. Once it’s off he goes to the button of your pants stopping to take off his now opened shirt and throw it to some part of the room. You bite your lip at the sight of his bare chest.

When both of your clothes have been shed he moves your body higher up on the bed then sits back to look at you. “God, you’re so beautiful.” Your cheeks go red he and he brushes a hand gently over one, letting his nails lightly graze your throat as he continues to your shoulder and then down your arm. The touch is light and smooth sending chills through your body. Once he reaches your hand, he slips his fingers between yours, locking your hand in his.

Your fingers close around his own as he leans down to kiss you again. You lift your head off the bed meeting his lips, your eyes fall shut as you hum in content. Pushing his body up against yours, he massages your lips with his own before brushing your bottom lip with his tongue asking for entry. Your tongues twirl as he explores the inside of your mouth. Your free hand finds its way into his hair and his own gets a firm grasp on your hip keeping you in place beneath him.

Your other hand is moved above your head as he grinds his front against yours causing a pleasurable yet almost unbearable friction. Your moan is muffled by his lips still on yours, you try to raise your hips to increase your pleasure but his grip holds you down.

His lips leave yours and it’s your turn to whine. “Do you want to feel more?” he whispers in your ear.

“Please.”

With that, he makes quick work of pulling a condom out of his nightstand and rolling it onto his hard and leaking member. You lay back on the bed taking in how sexy he looks as he lines himself up with your entrance but doesn’t move. You give him a look, silently asking what’s wrong.

“I don’t want to hurt you”

“You won’t, I’ll be fine.” You say reassuringly.

He nods and slowly pushes into you. Your walls are tight around his member, but the pain is minimal still. He shoves in fully then pauses to ensure you’re okay. A light squeeze of your hand lets him know you are and he starts to move inside of you. The quickening pace of his thrusts has you groaning with pleasure beneath him. Your nails dig into his back and you let your head fall back.

“Oh Ren,” you groan when he finds your sweet spot. Grinning at the condition he has you in he continues to hit your g-spot over and over again, basking in the sounds of the immense pleasure he’s making you feel. You wrap one leg around him, letting your bodies move together with each powerful thrust.

“Does this feel good?”

“Soo good!”

Your words are like fuel causing him to tighten his grip on your hip and increase his speed inside of you. You feel the tightness in your stomach and pull his head down for another kiss and right before you go over the edge. Your vision blurs as you are consumed with the shockwaves of your high. You let your arms fall limp on the bed whilst Ren continues to pound into you, your body twitching slightly from the sensitivity.

His body glistens with sweat as he chases his own release. Through hooded eyes you watch his own squeeze shut and his head fall forward as he releases into the condom. He rides out his high, and carefully pulls out, collapsing next to you on the bed. You stay like that for some time, letting you pants for breath be the only sound in the room. Having regained his strength, he removes the condom tossing it in the bin in the corner of the room, then wraps his arms around your waist rolling you over so that you’re laying on his chest.

“You know, I waited two years to be with you,” you look at him attentively and hope that what he says next is good, “and now that I’m with you, I can honestly say that every second of waiting was worth it.”

You feel your heart swell and you snuggle up against his chest. “So cheesy” you reply affectionately.

“Only for you.”

He pulls the duvet over you both, engulfing you in its softness. You shut your eyes letting your mind drift. Thoughts of walking the runway alongside Ren fill your head and this time it doesn’t make you nervous, but rather excited and warm on the inside. Knowing that he’ll always be there to boost you up when your confidence runs low and you feel like you’re not good enough. And at that thought, let yourself drift into a pleasant sleep.

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mollymauk-teafleak · 8 years ago

Text

The Seal Lullaby

In small, isolated, tight knit towns, people tend to talk. And in this town, they talk most about the strange couple that live down in the cottage by the sea. They talk about how they just turned up out of the blue one day, they wonder if they'll ever stop having children, they wonder what it is about them that makes them feel so...odd.

My Selkie AU fic! Thanks so much for all the excitement and support over this, it’s really turning into something I’m proud of and I can’t wait to show you guys it. New chapter every Thursday and comments are really really appreciated. Here it is on Ao3 if that’s more your thing and so many thanks to my phenomenal beta readers @minky-for-short @sassy-laffy @purearcticfire

Eliza Schuyler had always been a girl who had one foot in some other world.

She was a ‘daydreamer’. She was always ‘away with the fairies’. She was ‘never quite there’. The ‘lights were on but no one was home’.

There were a lot of ways to say it, most of them dripping with honey sweet condescension that making the obstinately gentle phrases feel a little off, more like thinly disguised insults than anything else. They were muttered to Catherine Schuyler by friends and book club members and distant relatives in just enough of a low voice to make it plain that they didn’t want Eliza to hear but didn’t care that she absolutely could. To make it obvious that they were pointing out a serious flaw but in a delicate way that the girl should really be grateful for.

Eliza was never fooled. She knew exactly what they were saying; that she was strange, weird, an anomaly. That the way she went wandering on long, lonely, meandering walks for hours was unusual. That the way she could sit perfectly still and placid, like some eerily glass like lake, perfectly content inside her own head, made her odd. That the way she devoted herself more to the worlds between the pages of books than the one she physically occupied made her seem disjointed and distant.

But she couldn’t have cared less than if the musty, oddly dressed figures in the antique paintings scattered through the Schuyler mansion had begun wittering about her behind their hands. Eliza knew that this world, this life where everything her parents did had to be carefully calculated and considered for how it would ripple through the political and social circles they swam in, it just wasn’t where she belonged. Her older sister Angelica, one of the few people who understood and appreciated Eliza, apparent flaws and all, had learned to adapt. She found that she could easily navigate the complicated maze that was a life at the centre of the New York political scene, she was born to cut her path through the city with her wit and her charm and her brains. Even Peggy, her younger sister, was warming to it, she liked a life of risk and challenge and god, was the life of a Schuyler a challenge. But Eliza had learned very early on that she wasn’t supposed to be here. She preferred things clear, honest, genuine. She liked to know where she stood and know exactly who she was, she liked softness and calm and clean air. And none of that was here. Here things had to change a hundred times a second, the ground was always shifting underneath everyone’s feet.

Of course, Eliza made her peace with it, she’d had to or spend the rest of her life dissatisfied and she hated any kind of confrontation, it was so unnecessary. But there had always been a part of her that had felt like it was waiting. Though for what, she wasn’t quite sure. For something, for the world she was supposed to be in to come and find her.

She’d almost given up, as her twentieth birthday came to pounce on her and her parents started making noises about settling down, about finding a partner, finding a career. Internships and apprenticeships, whatever the hell ‘networking events’ were, battlegrounds and arenas to find a job that involved a glass panelled office and a mahogany desk and spreadsheets and market research, a husband that involved painfully polite dinners, loaded comments over breakfast and very quiet, formulaic sex. Eliza saw all of this coming and began to panic, seeing no way out before it all came crashing down on her head and drowned her. Her something still hadn’t found her; her lifeline was nowhere in sight.

And then, on an otherwise decidedly unspectacular day, it found her.

Or rather, she stumbled upon it. Nearly tripped over it, as a matter of fact.

Eliza had been going crazy cooped up inside the beach house. So, when the storm finally passed on and some weak sunlight began filtering through the thick, cloying grey clouds and the wind calmed from a furious howl to a vaguely irritated murmur, the instant the weather got over its days long tantrum, she was out of the door. Driven to the brink of insanity having no power, trapped between four walls with her parents constantly needling at her how she really should be attending Mrs Washington’s party next week, it would be useful for her, very beneficial; drowning them out by wishing with all her heart that Angelica hadn’t left on her honeymoon three days ago and Peggy hadn’t wriggled free of the family’s yearly beach vacation with pleas that her finals were coming up. As soon as the storm died down, she kicked back her bedcovers, pulled on some ratty old jeans and a threadbare brown wool jumper, her ever faithful scuffed, clunky boots and ran outside before either of her parents could snag her with a pointed remark. She didn’t even bring a coat, she wanted to feel the cold mist of the morning and the slight wind against her skin.

Eliza felt all her troubles begin to dissipate to some far corner of her mind, almost as soon as her boots began to crunch the dark, pebbly sand and the shore came into view. Everything was grey and cool and a little damp and that was exactly what she loved about it. The landscape looked as if it had been painted by some melancholic artist and Eliza could empathise with them. This was where she wanted to be right now, somewhere that made her shiver and squint a little and just feel a little more alive than she’d felt in a while, alone with the waves sighing against the shore and the breeze gossiping quietly as it ran through the long grasses.

And it was when Eliza was just wandering in blissful aimlessness on that freeing morning, on the beach that was quietly steeling back down after a storm, that she nearly tripped over the rest of her future.

She’d been nudging away all the pieces of driftwood that littered the shoreline to make herself a path, wanting to stick as close to the water as possible so it lapped at the base of her shoes. And some of the bigger scraps, the ones that maybe had once been part of a building, maybe someone’s home or a mighty ship, they required a bit of a kick to send them back into the waves and on their way to another shore. So Eliza made a bit of a game of daydreaming where these slabs of aged, salt worn driftwood may have come from and once been in another life as she nudged each one out of her way. It was a lot of fun actually…

Until one of the pieces of driftwood yelped when she kicked it.

There was simply no other response to that than to scream loud enough that it echoed all along the foggy beach and to pitch backwards onto the soggy sand. Which is what Eliza did, falling back on her butt and scrambling away, her dark eyes wide and terrified, anticipating some attack from the creature from the black lagoon. They’d find the careworn boots her mother had always hated on the beach that night and that’s all they’d have of her to bury…

But it wasn’t a monster. At least she didn’t think so.

The shadow she’d just unceremoniously kicked rolled, unfurled and sat up. It was a boy. A young man except…even in the first second she looked at him, in the mist, there was a second where she refused to believe he was even human at all, he looked like something from another reality in a way that was imperceptible but so obvious it was like the difference between up and down. And then the mist cleared as the young man began to hack and cough and wheeze, sounding terrifyingly sick and very normal. Eliza gasped and saw him clearly for what he was, a muscular but lithe man of what must be exactly her age if not very close, amber skin dappled with droplets of water, long dark hair plastered to his head almost all the way down to his shoulders, sharp features, long nose, high forehead and the most intense eyes she’d ever seen. It was those eyes that convinced her that the brief moment of unreality hadn’t just been a dream, that for a split second he really had appeared to her as something unknowable even in the oldest, dustiest, most worn tomes of myth and legend. But now all he was just a scared, cold, shivering young man, looking at her with as much fear and awe as must be in her eyes too. Like she was something odd and strange.

She also realised in that moment that he was completely naked. And making no effort to hide that fact. In the split second before she went bright red and made a point of fixing her eyes on his face, she noted that the hair that ran across his chest and muscled midriff and down to…other places was as dark as the hair on his head. The hair that was forming along his jaw into what would eventually become a goatee once he matured a little, tipped completely from adolescence into adulthood.

Eliza blinked slowly, the stunned silence between them stretching on and on until eventually she just squeaked, “I’m sorry I kicked you.” It seemed like the most appropriate thing to say at the time.

The young man blinked back, almost like he was mimicking her movements. He didn’t speak.

“I…were you swimming? It’s kind of cold out…” Eliza tried, wincing a little at her own awkwardness.

That seemed to get some response, there was recognition in those pitch-dark eyes and Eliza found that once she looked into them it was almost impossible to look away again. He nodded, a surprisingly assured nod for a guy that was butt naked and soaked on a freezing cold beach.

“Well, you’re brave,” Eliza commented, slipping into her habit of talking plainly and directly, whatever the situation, “Swimming right after a storm.”

Another response, that word storm seemed to shake something in him. Bad memories it seemed like, he looked suddenly cowed and afraid.

Eliza felt a dart of sympathy, “Did you…did you get caught in the storm?”

Of course, he’d been lying here amongst the driftwood, just like he himself was some of the flotsam and jetsam that the ferocious weather had displaced and kicked around for its own amusement. There was another, slightly sadder nod of confirmation.

She had made up her mind. Eliza was one of those rare people whose immediate response to anything was unflinching kindness and she wasn’t about to leave this poor guy naked and clearly borderline hypothermic. She got up, dusted the sand off the seat of her jeans and offered him her hand.

“Come on, you look like you need a hot drink and a blanket. I’ve even got some clothes you can wear, I think.”

He looked at her open palm with a mix of apprehension and curiosity for a long time.

“I’m not going to hurt you, I promise,” Eliza bit her lower lip, “I won’t even tell my parents, you don’t have to worry about them. You can trust me.”

He fixed his dark eyes on her- the ones that Eliza’s mind had decided looked like the blackest sea glass- and he nodded again. He did trust her, she could read it on his face.

As he took her hand and used it to haul himself up on shaky legs, as his unnaturally icy cold skin met her unusually warm skin, it was like a spark passed through them. A small but undeniable charge that made both sets of eyes open wide and both jaws drop slightly and both hearts beat a little faster. Neither of them could put a name to it, to the feeling that suddenly flooded both of their chests, but they were both so aware of it that it was as if it coloured the world. Like they could suddenly hear even the soft rustlings of the kelp way below the waves, see the individual particles of dust carried on the wind, smell the delicate scent of the tiny but hearty flowers that grew in the sea grass. Everything was suddenly more. That was the only way it could be rationalised.

“My name is Alexander.”

It took Eliza a moment to realise he had even spoken. But who else could that voice have come from; that voice that was lyrical and a little sharp with an accent that came from a place Eliza had never seen but also, somehow, knew she could never go to.

“Oh. I’m…I’m Eliza,” she answered, her own voice sounding shaky and breathy and unsure in comparison.

But the light that came on in his eyes when she said it. Alexander looked like he had never heard anything so beautiful.

The fact that he wasn’t fully human was so obvious that Eliza’s brain somehow just accepted it with no fuss. It was clear as day in the way he walked, like Bambi on ice, like the concept of getting around on two skinny legs was completely foreign to him. In the way, he kept touching his arms and running his hands through his hair and poking his stomach like he didn’t fully get that they belonged to him. The way he looked surprise at the sound of his own voice, like it startled him.

So there was something about him, that much was clear. What he was could wait, Eliza had the patience to just file that away until more immediate problems could be addressed. Like how exactly she was going to smuggle a very undressed Alexander into the Schuyler beach house, get him a shower and clothes and a hot meal without either her mother or father seeing. Because this was something she absolutely did not want to have to explain. Not just because she had no idea how but also because she felt a kind of possessiveness over him. This was what she had been waiting for, the confirmation that she wasn’t a freak or wired incorrectly, that she’d simply been in the wrong place up until now. Her parents had had their chance to understand, they’d refused. So Alex was hers and no one else’s. Plus, who know what they’d do with him, who they’d hand him over to. Eliza was not letting go of him, no way. She’d promised to take care of him.

Fortunately, her parents were still asleep, with it only being around seven in the morning so as long as they were quiet she should be able to sneak him into her room without too much trouble, he’d be safe there until…until she figured out where to go from there.

Except for one thing. Alex didn’t seem to really do quiet.

As soon as they walked through the door, those eyes snapped so wide until they took up most of his face, his jaw going slack with such childlike wonder it was a little startling. He was suddenly seized with a compulsion to touch everything like all of this was completely new to him. This didn’t combine well with his uncertain, clumsy movements; by the time Eliza had managed to herd him into the kitchen, he’d nearly knocked over the television, the ceramic vase, the side table.

The kitchen was even worse, the young man was like a hurricane. Eliza turned her back once to get a mug to make a hot drink and in seconds he’d knocked over a whole tray of cutlery as he’d tried to reach the vase of flowers on the windowsill. By some miracle, there was no movement from upstairs.

“Dude!” she hissed, pushing on his back to move him away from the carnage, trying to decide if she was more bemused or exasperated, “You’re going to wake up my parents!”

“Oh!” Alex only seemed to brighten at that, turning quickly so Eliza suddenly found her palms pressed to his damp chest. So much so she could feel the muscles rippling underneath his skin like living stone. She retracted her hands, fast.

“So, you live with your pod?” he chirruped as she waved him over to stand by the counter.

“My…my pod?” Eliza blinked in confusion, pausing as she went to hurry to the laundry room to fetch him a towel.

“Yeah,” Alex nodded, apparently not seeing her puzzlement, “How many of you are there? Are they all like you? You said your parents, do you have brothers and sisters too?”

She was a little taken aback, he asked questions with the rapid pace and animated curiosity of a small child at a museum, “Oh. You mean my family?”

Alex shrugged, “I guess.”

“Well, it’s only me and Mama and Papa here right now,” Eliza answered, busying herself with foraging in the laundry pile for the biggest towel she could find for him, “But I do have sisters. Two of them.”

“Wow, really?”

Eliza jumped a mile, in the blink of an eye Alex had somehow crossed the distance between them to stand right behind her. Apparently, personal space was another thing he just didn’t do.

“Um…yes,” Eliza hurriedly passed him the towel, biting back a slightly exasperated sigh as he looked at it in confusion for a few heartbeats before swinging it around his shoulders, looking to her for approval. She showed him how to tie it off around his waist.

“That’s really lucky,” there was a very obvious wistful note to Alex’s voice as he trotted at her heels back to the kitchen, like he was eager to see whatever oddities she had to show him next.

Eliza looked at him as she got him down a can of soup from the pantry. Soup would help warm him up, he was still so bitterly cold she was starting to worry.

“Do you not live with your family?” she asked delicately.

He shook his head, looking a little morose, “No. It was always just my mother and me so after she died I was just on my own.”

He looked so small and lonely in that moment, Eliza was struck with a sudden urge to hold him. Fortunately, she caught it and pulled it back before she could look like a complete weirdo.

“I’m so sorry,” she said instead, meaning it.

“Fisherman got her,” Alex looked down at his bare feet, avoiding her gaze for the first time since they’d met, “They were after me, wanted my pelt but she…she put herself in between them so I could get away.”

Eliza’s jaw opened and closed a few times. That was an awful lot of information to just offer up to a stranger. And not a lot of it made sense. There were certainly more than a few words that hit her ear wrong, that jarred in the context. But they could wait.

So, what she did was she reached over and took his hand, squeezing it tight and firm in just a kind of ‘I’m here, you’re not alone’ gesture. Eliza was a firm believer that there wasn’t much such a gesture couldn’t solve.

It certainly seemed to work for Alex. Though startled at first, like consoling touch had become a little foreign to him, she soon felt his long fingers wrap around hers in turn and the raincloud that had settled over his face lifted a little.

It had gone entirely by the time Eliza had him wrapped up in one of her father’s roomier sweaters, it hung off his slim frame like a flag on a windless day, sat cross legged up on the counter top with a bowl of chicken soup in his hands that he was devouring like it was the first food he’d seen in days. As soon as he’d gotten past staring at himself in the silvered surface of the spoon in fits of delighted giggles, he’d fallen on the soup like he was ravenous; it had only been two minutes and the bowl was nearly empty. Eliza sat opposite him, watching him with a calm, curious eye, trying to start sifting through some of the things about him that made no sense.

She wasn’t having much luck.

“Here, you try!” Alex was holding out the bowl to her again, he’d done that more than a few times. Despite his obvious hunger, he was determined to share with her, “It’s so good, it’s amazing!”

“I’m okay,” she smiled softly as she gently pressed the bowl back towards him, finding his insistence sweet, “I made it for you.”

That seemed to satisfy him for now, he went back to eating with as much gusto as before.

“Alexander?” Eliza piped up after a few more moments of oddly companionable silence.

His dark eyes flickered upwards, fixing on hers with no embarrassment or flinching away.

“Eliza!” he seemed to enjoy just saying her name, he was taking every opportunity to do so. In his accent, his strange sharp tone that only made Eliza want to hear more of it, her name had a beauty to it that even her low self-esteem couldn’t deny.

“Where did you come from?” she decided just to be straightforward.

“Oh, from the sea,” he answered easily, nodding his head and wiping his mouth on the sweater’s sleeve, “I wander around a lot, started off up near Scotland but then I kept going further south because, y’know, without a pod I wasn’t doing so well with the cold and all that?”

Eliza didn’t know, she didn’t know at all, but she nodded all the same. This kid sure loved to talk, once he opened his mouth it was clear in his voice there were no plans to stop.

“But then there was that storm, did you see it! Flung me all over the place, I thought I was going to die. I got caught right in the middle of it, I didn’t even have time to brace myself. I was so scared, blacked out, then the next thing I knew, I had your boot in my ribs!”

Eliza bit her lower lip, “I’m still sorry about that. I thought you were driftwood.”

“Oh, it’s fine!” Alex honestly couldn’t look much happier about that fact, “I’m glad you did. No one’s ever been as nice to me as you. And I’ve never spent any time as a human before, it’s cool. Weird though, how do you stay up on just two feet? And I’m freezing, there’s no fur anywhere! Expect down here I guess, small mercies…”

Eliza’s breath caught in her throat, “W-wait, so…so if you’re not human…then what are you?”

For her, that question was a heavy weight, something loaded and tense and crackling. But he answered it like she’d just asked him what his favourite colour was.

“Oh, I’m a selkie?” he shrugs, “Sure, I guess you didn’t recognise me without the pelt, huh?”

That word had an edge of familiarity to it, like she’d read it somewhere in a story book before, a long time ago back when such ideas had enough magic to make them seem like possibilities. But it had no place here, here in reality, here on the cusp of adulthood?

“A…selkie?” she tried to get her mouth around the word and fumbled.

Alex nodded, “Yes. The seal people. A skin changer.”

“Oh,” Eliza wasn’t sure what to say to that. Because of course it was the truth, that wasn’t what she was finding problematic, that wasn’t the pill that got stuck in her throat. The problem was what to do about it.

“Except now I’ve lost my skin,” Alex sighed, putting the bowl down and running both hands through his salt stiff hair in distress. He looked like someone who’d just had a horrible realisation and was now spiralling, like some awful thought had just pounced on him and sunk it’s claws in, “I let go of it in the storm and now I don’t know where it is. And I can’t go back to the sea without it.”

Eliza fixed on this, this sounded like something logical that can be easily fixed. A problem with a clear and cut solution, unlike what to do with the fact that there were apparently creatures that could switch from seals to humans as easily as shrugging off a coat.

“If you just let go of it, it will probably have followed the same path,” she patted Alex’s knee reassuringly, “It can’t be too far away. I’ll help you find it.”

Physical touch seemed to relax him, he started to settle as soon as her warm palm rested on him. The temperature difference between them was still very obvious. It was slowly dawning on her that maybe Alex just ran a little colder.

“Maybe not today,” her mouth twisted worriedly, looking at the clock on the wall, “You might need to lay low today.”

Alex tilted his head, trying to follow her gaze, mimic her movements like he was taking all his cues from her.

“You look exhausted,” Eliza nodded, “Are you okay with just sleeping in my room while I fib my parents off as much as I can? I know it’s not ideal, I’m sorry, I’ll come up and see you every chance I get but I can’t have them finding you. As soon as it gets dark and they go to bed, we’ll go look for your…your skin.”

The implicit trust in his eyes was disarming, borderline terrifying. Like he’d follow her to the ends of the earth without too much questioning. Eliza had to look away after a few beats of it, close to being overwhelmed just by that honesty. She just couldn’t face it.

Any more than she could face the fact that, if asked, she was starting to feel like she’d follow him too.

#selkie fic #hamliza #I love selkies #chalk it up to growing up near the sea #but I'm so excited about this #selkie alex #feel free to ask questions and leave feedback!

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