#also i feel bad bc i didn't ckean up after hair cutting well enough bc i fekt so off balance and bad that i did it quick and then laid down
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Every time I need to cut my hair I get super excited bc I know I'll love it and EVERY TIME right after I cut it I fucking hate it and feel so uncomfortable I have to avoid looking at myself for a bit bc I look suddenly different and something about that makes me feel nauseous until like two days later when I'm used to it and love it again
This time is the WORST ITS EVER BEEN
What the fuck is the deal with that bc it really makes getting my hair cut a fucking trial
#delete later#im having a bunch of sensory issues lately and nausea and its driving me insane#i think im probably just super anxious about my trip but its really annoying#i want to bavk out and not go SO BAD but the good thing is that telling ppl at work means if i dont go it'll look weird#so that is pushing me to go. which is good bc i KNOW I'll enjoy it I KNOW THAT its just thr apprehension#and the risk that i wont enjoy it.#i am excited#im also scared#i hate ny brain#on the fun side the testosterone has made my shoulders broader snd face wider and im looking and sounding more masc#also i feel bad bc i didn't ckean up after hair cutting well enough bc i fekt so off balance and bad that i did it quick and then laid down#so i need to ensure i clean before i check how it looks or do SOMETHING differently#truly living is a task and having to problem solve every facet of life makes it fucking exhausting
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