#also i dont know why he isnt wearing a shirt i got distracted by the bandages and just forgot to give him one

[flashbic]

Sad when you try to make a harmless little joke and the other guy doesn’t get it

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

Being Franks Daughter in Hawkins pt 17

Gif Caption: Top Gif: Dustin Henderson from Netflix's Stranger Things Bottom gif: Peter Parker aka Spiderman from Marvel

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Reader: female | 18-19

Characters Mentioned: Steve Harrington (ST), Dustin Henderson (ST), Robin Buckley (ST), Billy Hargrove (ST), Kate Bishop (MCU), America Chavez (MCU), Dr. Stephen Strange (MCU), Wade Wilson (MCU), Venom/Eddie Brock (MCU), Loki Layfeyson (MCU), Peter Parker (MCU), With special Guest star of The Corinthian from The Sandman!!! Ya!!

A/n: oof sorry I fucked up and posted this half ass I tried to hurry, also before you say But the Corinthian isnt MCU or Stranger things, Im using him for a reason and I just think he'll be the nightmare that helps Y/n and bs. Also your a fuck ton stronger than you think!!

Warnings: Swearing, bloody noses,

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So with Steve gone, and Superheros only in the house, you got to work.

You had probbed over the wall you had set up, with Stephen, none of it made sense.

"They all know me by City Bird." Y/n explained.

"And thats important why?" Wade asked sitting on the couches arm.

"Billy only calls me City Bird."

"Billy? Russo?" Stephen asked.

"No Harrington." Y/n explained, "Wanda called me City bird, I've never mentioned that to her. And so did Russo."

"Russo showed up at the Sanctum?" Stephen questioned.

"No. It was a dream. It lasted three days." Y/n argued, "Harrington found me outside in shorts and a tee shirt with a bad bloody nose. That sound normal?"

"Dreams are linked to diffrent Dimensions." America spoke up, "the diffrent lives you have, across a multiverse. But three day dreams...did you spend three days walking around in the dream?"

Y/n shook her head no, "No. It was more of three mintues? Maybe two."

"Its possible that you didnt even meet Billy Hargrove in that multiverse," Stephen explained.

"That doesn't make sense." America cut in.

"Why?" Stephen asked Y/n sighing looking up to see a shadow threw the roof cracks.

"She told me when he came to visit that the jacket she wears is Billy Hargrove's, she wears it in ever multiverse I've been too, you've all known each other every time I've jumped. Why wouldn't she know him?"

"Hey!" Y/n snapped holding her hand out, "wait"

"What-"

"Shh" y/n hushed, everyone going quiet, there was a creak in the wood as everyone stood up.

Y/n held out her hand to Wade, he handing over a knife. She walking towards the door carefully.

There was silence then loud knocking on the door.

"Y/n?"

"Jesus fucking-"

Y/n opened the door, Venom standing there.

"HI"

"Why are you here?" Y/n asked, watching them return to Eddie, "How did you get my address."

"You called me."

"What? No I didn't." Y/n told him.

"Yes you did, You said you're needed in Hawkins, so we can protect the world." He mocked.

"No-"

Just as Y/n spoke up a smoke grenade came crashing through the window.

"Get out the house!" Y/n shouted at every one, coughing and choking on the thick smoke as they ran out the house, "split up in the woods!"

It was quick everyone splitting up, Kate followed her, along with Loki.

"Shit!" Kate shouted, tripping over a root.

"Come on!" Y/n shouted tugging her up, and too her feet as the three ran deeper into the woods.

They ran across the creak, down uncharted pathways, stopping behind a large fallen over tree.

"You think we lost them?" Kate whispered, before Y/n could even answer an arrow stuck the tree between them.

"Look! Run deeper into the woods! I'll distract them." Y/n ordered.

"What?! No way!-"

"Do it Loki!" Y/n ordered, getting up and running the opposite direction, they watching her run off.

"Hey Arrow head!" Y/n shouted, "Come and get me!"

They watched her vanish from sight.

"Come on lets go." Loki spoke.

"But Y/n-"

"She asked us to go deeper into the woods we're listening."

You dont know how long you ran for, but you ran so far you made it too the damn Mall.

If they wanted you, it'd be hard to find you in a crowded area.

So not carring you ran in through the back door, careful to avoid any employees.

You opened a door to backroom, locking it and falling agaisnt it till you reached the ground

Cue the mini mental break down.

"Y/n?"

She looked up, Steve in his Scoops Ahoy outfit.

"The hell happened-"

She laughed, "of course! I fucking coming running into here!"

"You look horrible. What the hell keeps happening to you-"

"Hey Harrington I asked for-"

Robin stopped seeing y/n on the floor, "oh shit..."

"Hey! It's Y/n!" Dustin cheered, "wait. What the hell happened to you!"

Steve brings you to the other room, sitting you down on the chair he usually sat in.

"Look at you." He spoke, holding her face, "Jesus...you smell like smoke..."

Steve patched you up, and even gave you his change of chlothes to wear,

You thanked him quietly, and told them what happened.

Robin though new to this seems to understand more.

"You dipwads she cant fight because she won't hurt them."

Dustin things its the Russians

"You've had trouble with them before! Why not now? Mind control is a thing!" Dustin told.

He wasnt completely wrong, and even showed you something they've intercepted

"I have some of it." Robin explained, "The week is long. The silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west. I dont know the last part."

"Its in Russian?" Y/n asked.

"If we let you listen-"

"Yeah yeah first rule about russian interception club is you dont talk about russian interception club."

Dustin handed you over the tape, you putting the headphones on as you listened to it.

"A trip to China sounds nice if you tread lightly." Y/n answeed taking the headphones off.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"How'd you know Russian?" Dustin asked.

"Natasha." Y/n explained, the two teens looking at her confused.

"Black Widow?" Dustin cut in.

"Oh!"

"Hydra. In Hawkins?" Y/n asked, "this small little town?"

"Why wouldnt they? It wouldnt be suspicious. In the middle of the woods?"

Y/n hummed, that seemed reasonable.

They left you to think, Dustin and Steve apparently going Russian hunting whatever the hell that ment.

"So...Avenger huh?" Robin asked, "You and Steve?"

"Im not sure what I am to myself let alone others." Y/n answered.

She hummed sitting across from Y/n.

"Must be difficult." Robin explained, "Having so much to carry."

"I just. Want things to go back to the way they use to be. Before Hawkins."

Robin looked at her with Sympathy, going back to simpilar times didnt sound too bad.

"Harrington that bad?" She joked.

"Is it bad if I say yes?"

Robin chuckled.

"He's. Not." Y/n responded, "I just..."

"Have to be the hero?"

"I don't have to be Anything."

"Yeah." She spoke, "but it helps."

After that she left you to work for another hour or so before her lunch break.

You mostly sat there with a napkin and pen trying to map things out

You had an idea, and went to go tell robin but once you walked out Robin was gone.

Though the Mall was full, it seemed empty. Y/n walked out, "Robin? Harrington? Henderson?"

Walking around some more looking for the trio she found no one, for a while too, a good hour perhaps she walked around?

"Hey there." A man spoke up, he wearing a cream colored trench coat, with dark glasses, "You look a little lost."

"Uh. No... thanks though." Y/n answered.

"Lost someone then? Your kid? Boyfriend?"

"No." Y/n spoke eyeing him, "You look like my friend."

"Do I now?" He answered, "Now I should take that as a compliment? Shouldnt I?"

"Yeah ladies love him...mostly the glasses." Y/n told him.

He laughed, "No very much into the ladies. If you know what I mean."

"You like what you like...." y/n shrugged looking around.

"You sure your not loss there?"

"Yes-"

Y/n stopped seeing Steve himself looking into the distance, about to excuse herself Nancy came running into frame, into his arms, he swinging her around, before kissing her like he longed too for so long.

"You alright there? You look pale as a ghost." He answered, "I would hate for the fun to end so soon. It's just beginning. Hate seeing someone you love kiss another girl?"

Y/n looked at him, "what?"

"Oh come on." He laughed, "I know your not. That. Stupid City Bird."

Y/n stood her ground, "If you-"

"What?" He laughed, "Touched Billy Hargrove? Hurt him?"

Y/n's glare hardened, and he smiled, it was sick, full of genuine pleasure, he watched her think about her next words.

"This is fake." Y/n responded, "i wouldnt be surpised if I was dreaming."

"Oh?" He responded, "and how you figured that?"

"Because Dustins not with Steve. And there always together." She responded, "not to mention. Im wearing Steve's change of chlothes, and he's wearing the same chlothes I am. My reflection isnt in your glasses. Even if they were dark there'd be a reflection. Not to mention. I know when a magic user is fucking with me."

The mall went silent, everyone gone, just no clipped into an unknown plane.

"What do you want and why are you here." Y/n demanded.

"Because you're fucked." He responded, "and I want to watch it fuck you over, watch your worst nightmares come true. Its the onky thing that brings me that much closer to feel free-"

"Corinthian thats enough-"

Y/n's eyes shot open, she arched over head asleep on her arms which rested on the table.

"Morin sleeping beauty." Robin spoke.

"How...long?"

"Not long. Thrity maybe."

You sat up letting your bones crack and Steve and Dustin came back

"No Russians." Dustin spoke, "not yet."

"Good. I want my break." Robin spoke, "and do a bit of my own hunting. You coming Y/n?"

Y/n was silent, she looking at Steve in a way. A way she's never looked at someone, she dazed, feeling like she was gonna cry.

"Oh my god your nose is bleeding-"

Robin was quick to grab napkins, Stevee trying to rush to help as well.

She felt.

Alone.

"Hey Dustin. Go. Russian hunting with Robin-"

"What? No way-"

"Now." Steve ordered.

"Fine." Dustin spoke, "If you need anything. Uh. Tell Steve?"

Y/n lookrd over at Dustin, "yeah..."

He gave her a toothy smile and a thumbs up, before being pulled away by Robin.

"Thats the second time you know." He responded cleaning her face.

Y/n was silent, it familiar, this had just happened this morning.

"Are you okay?" He asked bringing a chair infront of her, sitting across from her, "all the sudden. This is happening. Why?"

He just got a stare in return, her nose hadnt stopped bleeding. She just. Stared.

Stared into his soul, he felt like. Like she was searching for something.

"Look. Im sorry what I said this morning."

"Did you kiss Nancy." Was all she said, "after I left?"

"No...why would you-"

"Did you kiss Nancy before I left."

"I. I didnt kiss her no. I."

"Did she kiss you?'

He was quiet, but nodded, "Yeah right after we..."

"Right after? A day? A week?"

"....the same day..."

"Did you sleep with her too? The same day-"

"No. I would never do that to you-" he answered then sighed cleaning her fsce, "why...ask now?"

"Because I just watched Nancy Wheeler kiss you..." Y/n responded, "I. I know it sounds crazy...my dream-"

"You just made me feel guilty because of a dream?"

"No. Thats- it wasnt a regular dream."

"Sure of the hell wasnt."

Y/n got up quickly pushing Steve behind her, it took her a few seconds, "You..."

"Guilty as charged." He smiled, "Now why doesnt your friend here get us some icecream? Swirl please."

"Y/n who is this-"

"Corinthian..." y/n spoke, "I dont fucking trust you."

"Well it looks like my names out of the bag." He sighed, taking a seat, "that icecream please? Whatever the lady wants and a swirl for me."

"Go Steve-"

"Are you kidding- no-"

"Go. Now." Y/n ordered, "go."

Corinthian watched Steve walk off and back to the front.

"Dont tell me I manifested your bullshit. When I woke up." Y/n complained.

"If your refering to the bloody nose." He responded, "that is not my problem at all...city bird."

"How the fuck do you know Billy." Y/n glared.

"Oh through you of course." He responded, "You dream. Alot. Alot Alot."

"And?" Y/n argued.

"You remember half them?"

"No."

"Any of the good ones?"

"If you know I dream so much you know I dont get the good shit."

"Yep." He responded, "I've been with you for a long time. Gets harder every time. Every crack, and nessle, nook and cranny."

"You seem happy bout it."

"Bout your nightmares shall we call them?" He asked.

Steve came back with two cups of icecream.

"Thank you Steve." Corinthian smiled at him.

Steve only looked at her, she looking back, and he left.

"You see Y/n." Corinthian started, "you...me...were not so diffrent."

"I think we're plenty different."

He chuckled under his breathe, "See...but we aren't. You and me were one of a kind, strong, independent, no where to fit in: we're alone. I suppose. Instead of insulting you. Us. I should be thanking you really."

Y/n watched as he broke off his monolouge with a spoonful of icecream, "Dream fucked me over once, ruined me. Thanks for bringing me back doll. That Mystic Arts Bullshit really does pay off, doesnt it?"

Y/n glared as he stood up, grabbing his icecream, "I'll see you soon doll. Good luck with the Russians."

He turned around to her, lowering his dark glasses, showing not eyes, but teeth, "Your gonna need all the shit help you can get."

With that he pushed up his glasses and left

You were a complete mess, he obviously was seemingly against you and had the power of magic and your completely fucked completely fucked

Your nose had stopped bleeding a while ago, and was drying up.

"Hey!" Robin called running in, "I got it! I know what it means!- and your still covered in blood..."

"Yeah. Sorry." Y/n responded rushing to clean her face at the sink.

"Are you okay?" Dustin asked.

"Yeah. Yeah." Y/n responded, "stress. Is...all.."

"I would be worried too, but dont worry, everyones safe. And okay." Dustin told her, "Im sure of it."

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Tags: @raelwrites @miiikkeey @beebslebobs @ah-witch @supernaturallover2002 @pearlstiare @simonsbluee @stilllivindue2spite @lvbred @dancingqueen21 @writerdream22 @i-reblog-fics-i-like @knivqs @xxlaynaxx @3-spurr @eliskakratochvilova @sunshinepower17 @marssssaturn @howlerwolfmax @mxltifxnd0m @varientlyvisual @givemylovetoall @faithm120601 @abbiesxox @loenq @briana-mishell24 @wendds @slytherinroyalty16 @bubbabobbubbles @awritingotaku

[savnofilter]

Busty S/O w/ Nipple Piercings HCs

Tamaki x Reader // Mirio x Reader // Bakugo x Reader // Todoroki x Reader

warning(s): sexual content, hint of debauchery.

a/n: tumblr had originally decided to delete the whole draft to this after working on it all day. :D also big shout-out to @kingtamakimurder​ since it i(wa)s her birthday so happy birthday my beautiful goddess! i hope you enjoy this one~ but i was so excited to write this. thank you anon! 🎂💖

SFW

Tamaki: 

Tamaki hadn’t seen you in what felt like ages and he was so glad to see you again.

when you were abroad for about 7 months and he missed you so much he was practically bouncing in anticipation to see you back again.

when youre finally at his house and in his arms hes ready to have you in his arms and smothering you in his embrace.

it was when he had finally seen you in his eyes again, in the flesh and he could tell something was... off about your appearance.

not in a bad way, but for some reason he found himself staring at your chest but it isnt long until you tell him the news.

“Tamaki I got nipple piercings!”

“N... What?!”

he’s honestly surprised at first that you got something like that, eyes almost jumping out of his skull when you show him the piercing an immediate erection is brought to his dick.

it was hard enough for him to hold back the need to look at you with your normal shirts, but they were calling his name.

“W-Wow... i-it looks l-lovely...” He mumbles not really sure what to say, eyes trained on the silver studs that allured him more than he was anticipating.

he couldnt wait to get his hands on them.

Mirio:

when Mirio first sees you youre in the healing process.

and it takes him a minute to really process the news, eyes watching pure curiosity as to why and how you would even get the piercing.

“Oh wow... It looks super good!” Is all he can really say, speechless for the first time in his life.

without it having any sexual context behind it, he is one too touch them, curious as to how they feel under his fingers.

“Wow! They feel so cool.” 

he’s a tease so he’ll be one to just come up behind you and feel em’, using them to tease you.

“M-Mirio!” “Oh come on, they were staring at me first~”

hes such a dog, you have to make sure to keep an eye on his hands in public so he doesnt do anything risky.

Bakugo:

welp

same story as before.

“Heh, you better careful before you have get them done again-”

“Katsuki!” 

this boi cannot behave. him. self. basically the actual perverted version of mirio. this boi aint pure, he just likes to mess with you.

lets out an obnoxious whistle when he sees you come around, thoroughly enjoying the embarrassed look you get when you try to shut him up.

always has a raging boner cos’ his hot girlfriend makes it stand up.

hes one to try and convince you some other piercings~

to say in the least, hes very supporting and offering to help you heal!

its only what a horny amazing boyfriend will do~

shamelessly stares and doesnt care if youre in public or not.

he makes sure to be discreet about it, relishing in the feeling of having it under the pads of his fingers makes him so incredibly hard, its basically torture before he can play with them the way he wants to.

Todoroki:

Todoroki is amazed, really.

he cant fathom the thought or feeling of having a needle and some other metals going through his nipples -- for any reason at that.

even with that, he cant stop the small bubbling in his stomach at how it fits you so well he doesnt have really much to say.

“It looks... nice.”

“Thank you Sho~”

but he has the weird impulse to want to touch them?

the way they provactively poke out from your shirt (and emphaszied by your breasts) makes him almost on the edge all the time.

he always had a habit of just admiring your looks and looking at you, but it seems like a much bigger distraction with the piercing teasing at the fabric of your shirt.

admittedly he does get a lil hard looking at your chest-

even though most of thoughts are vanilla about your piercings, theres a part to him that just really wanna how sensitive your nipples are now.

NSFW

Tamaki:

he tries taking it slow but he is so eager to just play with them.

at first hes just softly touching them, trying to help you ease the feeling actual pressure of someone else’s fingers.

“D-Does this feel okay~?”

boi is soft.

likes to flick them and watch how sensitive your bundle of nerves are now that youve got piercings.

is very eager to suck on them and use anything he can to tease you and hear all the noises he can get from you~

his favourite thing to do with them is to suck on them, since he doesnt get too wild (most of the time) he likes to give them good sucks.

definitely moans and groans feeling them on his tongue.

he also thoroughly enjoys fondling them and playing with the nipples because of the way your body responds to him.

you getting nipple piercings are probably one of the best things that you have ever surprised him with.

Mirio:

hes a little careless with his handling, but he doesnt hurt you.

mirio is such a dog, he likes tweaking and pulling at your nipples enough to get small moans from you and presses to get louder ones.

most of the time he doesnt really use his mouth in fear he’ll get too carried away.

“Fuck you’re so sexy like this, Y/N~” 

tit fucks you more often to watch how your tits bounce so alluringly because of your piercings.

if you want to get cock up instantly, just wear one of your see-through shirts because it will give him an instant boner.

(he does prefer thing more tho)

hes just so much of a perv, he likes the thought he has to elude what really underlies underneath the top~

definitely prefers you to be on top so he can see them bounce.

avid fan of flicking your nippies cause why not? more opportunities to hear you whine~

goes feral if you wear his favourite piercings.

Bakugo:

well 

so his emo ass LOVES the piericings on you.

his hands are basically glued to your chest.

is not innocent or soft (unless teasing you), hes usually rough and unforgiving.

likes to pull and bite at them, his cock rock hard when you plead for him to be softer but you get wet anyways~ what do you REALLY want, y/n~?

“You’re so wet~ I bet you like me playing with your tits like this huh~?”

isnt afraid to get rough, is calculated tho -- dont get him wrong.

hes a beast but not a full on sadist.

loves to suck on them and roll his tongue over the studs, sucking roughly on your nipples.

(vocal on how addictive it is to suck on em’)

is definitely a moaner when fucking with them.

likes to poke his dick on your tit to tease them and also increases in tit fucking you.

just know that your nipples may now always be oversttimulated now because of all of the attention he gives you.

be prepared to share the same fate if you ever fall through with him convincing you for clit piercings-

Todoroki: 

hes like Tamaki, is slow, sensual and soft.

so soft it makes you more sensitive without him knowing it.

“Tell me if I’m being too rough.”

no sir, youre being too soft.

unintentionally edges you and makes you so frustrated!

when he catches on he is easily one of the cockiest teasers on earth.

he doesnt really change anything in the bedroom, but he definitely gropes you more.

also loves to *change* your studs and give them a nice rub when hes finished, a suck each one for you sitting and obeying him without any complaints.

yes, change. 

Todoroki’s are a different breed of fucking perverted.

isnt much of a titty fucker but does enjoy cumming on your tits because it looks nice~

Shouto is indifferent, but not really.

just keep on your toes for when he’s ready to pounce~

[kweebtrash]

Pay Attention, Dumbass

Pairing: Demon!Jaehyun x OC

Genre: Smut/ Comedy?? Maybe?

Features: demonic fingering

Summary: two idiot roommates accidentally summon two ancient demons. Forced into a contract, they only had two choices; die or make a deal with the devil. The most logical answer was to make them their boyfriends of course (this is lowkey a bad slice of life hentai, i swear). The demons know nothing about the human world and have to deal with “lessons” from their human girlfriends.

A/N: This used to be on my Kofi which im closing down and just putting everything up on here. This isnt continuing.

Masterlist  Johnny Version Here

-----

"You haven't moved in hours. Don't you do anything else?"

I dug into the chip bag that laid on my desk and grabbed a handful to shove into my mouth. "Of course i do," I said through the mush of chips. "I went to the bathroom."

Jae sighed. "Not what i meant. Do you ever leave your room?"

I shrugged and downed some of my soda. "Yeah. I go to work sometimes."

"Where do you even work at?"

"A bar." I went back to clicking through attacks and swerving around opponents. "Guys, come on, come on, come on!" I said into the headphone and mic set i had on. "Someone head towards the point! At least start trying to take it over!"

"A bar?" He asked, confused. "What is that?"

"Its uh..." I drifted off as i propelled myself forward and released my ultimate attack, sending my mecha exploding in different directions. I quickly reloaded myself into the machine and continued my rampage of gunshots. "Like uh... drinks. Liquor."

"Libations?"

I snorted at the stupid word. "Yeah, whatever. That."

"And that's the only time you leave?" He continued asking.

"What the fuck is this? Twenty questions?" I grabbed another handful of chips. "On the left! Move out the way!" I grumbled at my friends who were playing online with me.

"I'm just curious since you don't have the capability to rid yourself of the sin of sloth."

I glared over at him as he was reclined back on my bed, arms behind his head, and torso on full display as he refused to wear a shirt (not that i was complaining). "I do things! I just like playing video games more! Sometimes i go to school too!"

"And what proof do you have of this because i never see it."

"My never ending debt and crippling anxiety." One of my online friends asked who i was talking too and i sucked my teeth. "My boyfriend is being annoying." Queue the kissy noises and jokes of the very mature men i gamed with.

"Oh? Im annoying?" Jae grumbled. "Whats really annoying is seeing you rot away while im forced to stay by your side. Hours and hours of boredom and still im trapped in the confines of this ridiculous home with nothing to do."

I set my headset down as the round finished and turned my desk chair towards him. "Are you upset that im not paying attention to you?"

He sat up quickly and scoffed. "Please. What do i need the attention of a human for?"

"You certainly want it when you're horny." I giggled. "Heh...horny...you have horns also so it's...anyway. Are you being a baby because you want attention?"

"I am not an infant. You are infuriating. Of course i had to get stuck with you."

"Oohhh, thats how it is. Yep, definitely being a baby, now with a temper tantrum."

Jae's eyes glowered and his claws dug into my mattress. "There are so many things i want to do to you right now."

"Ooh daddy." I snorted and put my headset back on. "Sounds kinky."

"Which is it? Am i an infant or a father?! I dont understand!"

I sighed and stood up. "Do you want to try playing with me?" I gestured at the now vacant spot of my gaming chair.

Jae stared at me then the seat. "Play that ridiculous thing?"

"Yeah," i shrugged and looked down at my feet. "It's something i like to do and you're my boyfriend sooo...i guess...i mean..." I twiddled with my thumbs as my cheeks began to warm up. "It'd be cool if you tried to like some of the stuff i do."

"Is that what boyfriends do?"

"Y-yeah...sorta. Look do you want to or not?" I huffed in frustration.

He stood up and made his way over, glaring down at me with his humanized yet still terrifying eyes. "Fine. I will try it."

I couldn't help the dorky smile that beamed across my face. "Ok, cool. Sit down."

He placed himself in the seat and i sat on his lap then scooted the chair closer to the desk. I positioned his fingers on the designated keys for offense and defense as well as the computer mouse. "Here, why don't i just guide your fingers the first few rounds so you get the hang of it?"

"Whatever."

The smile started to fade as i covered his hands with mine that seemed to dwarf in comparison. "Put your stupid claws away. You cant game right with your pretty manicure."

He growled like an irritated dog and slid the claws back into his skin. With his back pressed to mine, he ended up resting his chin on my shoulder, watching as i joined a new round. His somewhat chubby cheek felt warm against mine and i willed myself not to kiss it. It wasn't like he was going to respond anyway. He was cold hearted in every sense of the word, even when he fucked it almost seemed like a chore. It still was amazing and i loved every second of it but the distant feelings was strong. Of course it wasn't a great idea to make a demon your damn boyfriend but there was rarely a time where i made a smart decision.

Deciding to suck it up and just concentrate i pressed Jae's fingers down as i helped launch attacks and maneuver us around the screen. "This is nothing but hectic destruction " he commented.

"Yep, pretty much."

"And you enjoy this?"

"Absolutely."

"I am pleased by this." I felt a slight nip at my neck as he purred into my ear. "Very pleased."

"Pleased that i like shooting people and destroying things?"

"Exactly. Its quite...sexy."

"Oh my god. You're a dork!" I snorted. "Its just a damn game, weirdo." I pressed his fingers down harder, not wanting to slow down and ruin my winning streak. "Keep up."

"Well when you're crushing my fingers its hard to do so."

"Just follow me. You dont even have to move them."

"I would like to move them but-"

"Shh, give me a sec. Bastards are on my fucking ass! God i hate when they just gang up on you for no FUCKING REASON!" I screamed at the monitor. "Such dicks. Fuckin' dicks."

"Your mouth is filthy."

"Yeah you said that when it was full of cum too."

"Hm...that was also enjoyable." Another nip to my neck, this time followed by small sucks and kisses. "Continue using your filthy mouth and destroying things. This at least is semi entertaining now."

"Glad you think so. Quit kissing my neck, its distracting."

"Distracting?! You enjoy that! You said it this morning. Specifically 'Jae'," He faked a slightly high pitched moan. "'Keep kissing my neck, oh god'."

I flushed with embarrassment and rammed my elbow into his chest. "I already have to deal with dicks online i dont need go deal with you too."

"I suppose you wouldn't want to deal with this then?"

I felt him press his hips against my ass. The grey sweatpants he had on left nothing to the imagination and i swallowed hard as my concentration wavered. "S-stop." I whimpered.

"I dont think i will." One hand left the mouse and pressed against my stomach to keep me in place. "Support that. I will control these buttons."

I pressed my lips together and simply nodded. How he had the grace to continue slight grinds against me i didn't know but i was responding to them eagerly. I arched my back and wiggled my ass every time he rolled forward, creating a sinful friction between us. My eyes drifted from the screen momentarily to see that his fingers were working perfectly over the keys as if he had played for years. "You're...actually winning."

"What? As if its hard?" He tsked. "Humans have simple minds and-WHY IS THIS MAN PUNCHING ME FROM THE SKY?"

I froze our sensual movements to cackle loudly. "That's just Doomfist. He's so OP and stupid."

"OP?"

"Overpowered, meaning there's no reason for him to even be here."

"Im going to destroy him completely until he can never return."

"They all respawn, Jae. That's how the game continues."

"Not if I can help it. I want that mongrel dead. Get that clicky thing ready. I'm aiming to destroy."

"You think I'm sexy when I want to kill things but I think you're cute, you know that?" I turned towards him to press a kiss to his cheek yet my lips connected with his when he moved.

"I am not cute....but you are...or whatever." I wondered if that tint on his cheeks was real or just my imagination.

I smiled to myself anyway, pleased with his compliment and his valiant effort to enjoy the same things I did. He was truly acting like a boyfriend-one that felt genuine even if he crawled up from hell. Just before, he was complaining about how never moved but we stayed like this for a couple more hours, even sharing snacks and competing with my online friends. There came a point in the night, though, when searching for a server with an open game slowed tremendously. Minutes ticked by and still nothing. Jae's drumming of his fingers against the wooden desk in impatience was starting to drive me crazy. "Doing that isn't going to make it go faster, you know."

"This is about as interesting as watching you play on that small screen."

"We've gone over this. Its a phone, a cell phone, a portable phone."

"Yes, yes. That stupid thing with all the colors. Its like this stupid thing." He pointed at the computer screen. "Only smaller."

"You seem to enjoy the big stupid thing judging by how many kill streaks you got."

His lips tweaked into a smirk. "That's because im an expert killer. None of them deserved to live."

"You did get my rank up and some loot boxes so i guess i should thank you."

"Yes, bask in my glory and show me how grateful you are." His hand that had remained around my waist for most of our play time started creeping its way to my thighs.

"Are you wanting me to show you how grateful i am or are you trying to show me how desperate you are?" I snickered.

"I am not desperate. Since the stupid game is not cooperating im just trying to inject some extra curricular activities."

"Such as?"

He set his head on my shoulder again and i felt his fangs dig in deeper into my neck, making me let out a drawn out whine. "J-jae!"

He chuckled from deep within his throat as i felt his tongue trail from the column of my neck up to my earlobe. "Such as...watching you squirm when i add the slightest of pressure," Two of his fingers slid between the junction of my thighs and pressed firmly against the center of my shorts. "Here."

The tips of his fingers began gliding against the fabric, the soft cotton adding the smallest amount of friction against my clit. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip as my leg began to bounce. I wanted to wait for a new game, my win streak was too precious to me but Jae was something else. Trying not to make it too obvious i adjusted myself on his lap, spreading my legs a little wider. His fingers garnered more room but he didnt move them under the fabric. Instead he kept torturing me with slow movements, occasionally pushing into the most sensitive areas. "Who's enjoying the attention now?" He teased.

Suddenly a little ping from my computer signaled that a game had finally been found. My attention quickly shifted and i put my headset back on and got into position. Jae reeled back in confusion. "Are you really going to continue to play?"

"Well...yeah. I mean it took forever to get into this game. I dont wanna lose it."

"Hey, can you be healer?" I heard my friend say into my ear piece.

"Fuck you! Im not going to be healer! You be healer, you twat waffle!"

Jae let out a heavy and annoyed sigh. I almost felt bad until i was lagging behind everyone else. I had to-

I felt his finger finally move beneath my shorts and press into my hole gently. I had to admit that he had already gotten me worked up enough to provide him with some lubrication and he slid in easily. "C-cut it out." I stammered.

"Oh no, dont mind me. Your game is more important. Keep going."

"I just mean-ah-ahh!" I tried to snap my mouth shut before my moan slipped out for fear of my friends hearing but it was too late. Jae had moved the seat of my shorts aside and pumped his finger faster, occasionally curling it an inch or two from my entrance. I covered the mic part of the headset and glared back at him. "If you dont s-stop-"

I snapped my thighs shut as he added another finger, the 'come here' motions growing stronger. Immediately, he landed a harsh tap to my outer thigh, a small growl floating in the tense air around us. "I said keep going."

"Well i would if you just-HEY! MOTHERFUCKER! I LIKED THESE SHORTS!" I looked down at the center of my shorts that had now been torn open because of his reappearing claws. "What's wrong with you?!"

Without a word he grabbed onto my ankles and set my legs up on the desk, keeping them spread. The clawed hand snaked its way to my throat and with the slightest pressure i could feel them digging in. It wasn't enough to hurt but certainly enough to make my entire body shudder with electricity. "I-i cant reach the keyboard." I whispered.

He scooted the chair closer to the desk, making my legs almost rest on it fully. "Wheres that tappy thing you have?"

"Tappy thing?"

"Where you move the sticks."

"You mean a controller?"

"You can plug it in right?" He questioned as his thrusting resumed which made my mind mush in a second.

"U-uh yeah-um its uh...d-draw-drawer!"

He let my throat go and allowed me to reach into my desk drawer and grab my gaming controller. I plugged it into my computer's usb port as my friends argued about me not pulling my weight and being static. I lied about my game lagging and shifted the mic up so i sounded muffled and they wouldn't be able to hear how much if a slut Jae made me. "There. Now you can play. Keep up that win streak. Have to get the gold and boxes, right? Have to play with your friends and ignore me, right?" He nipped at my ear as his fingers slipped out of me to rub circles against my clit. "Have to beg me to let you cum, right?

"P-please dont make me do that!"

"See? You're begging already. What a good girl you are."

My entire body tensed at those two words and i let my controller go for a moment to grab his hand and press his fingers back into me. "Keep going. I want you to keep going."

"I could but i dont have to. Maybe i can use the tappy thingy instead. More people I can kill." He jerked his fingers away and pushed them against my lips. "Clean these off for me. Dont want to get it dirty, do i?"

"Jaaaeeeee," i whined and leaned in for a kiss but he turned his head away.

"Clean. Them."

Reluctantly, i swallowed his fingers down, lapping between and tasting myself. He tested my gag reflex by moving them to the back of my throat but pulling away when it became to much. It was nothing but entertainment for him, a game of cat and mouse that made me feel doomed. "You know you love being inside me." I panted as my mouth was now freed. "I can ride-"

"Oh, how unfortunate. You died. Now we have to wait to return. You're too distracted, Ivy. A shame, truly."

I didn't care anymore. In the few seconds i had between my respawning i stood up and turned towards him, pulling his sweatpants down to stay around his knees. He had no qualms about his erection. I had felt it, of course, but it was like he paid it no mind, like it wasn't an inconvenience and he enjoyed teasing me instead. Was it another way to give me a taste of my own medicine? What a bastard! "Come here." I tried to sound as sultry as possible but he just laughed and took the controller from me.

"Lets see if i can figure this out now." Jae looked at the buttons and pressed at a few before moving the joy sticks to test them out. "Strange but i believe I can-"

It was my turn to cut him off. I lifted his head and focused on his eyes, angered by the smirk still on his lips. "Fuck me."

"Nope."

That wasn't the answer i wanted.

He craned his head to the side to look at the monitor. "Can you move? Im trying to play here."

"Shut up! You didn't even care about playing before!" I pouted as my cheeks flushed both in annoyance and embarrassment. I sat back on his lap anyway, chest to chest, and guided him inside me. Not a sound from him or even a look. He was focused on fighting now which made me want to punch him but i figured if i fucked myself on him long enough i could break his resolve. I gripped onto the back of the chair and started working up and down his length, adding kisses to his neck in between whimpers. "Jae...come on..."

"Ooh, double kill."

"I swear to god! If you dont-"

"No god, just demons."

"Yeah, you're acting like a demon. A demon asshole who wont even pay attention to his girlfriend! I cant believe you're doing this!"

He finally looked at me, dead in the eyes and it made me nervous. "It doesn't feel good, does it?"

Ok, ok. So i had learned my lesson. It was a two way street and maayybeee i wasn't being the best partner but i never figured he wanted anything from me. He never expressed a lot if affection or wonderment at what i did throughout my day. How was i supposed to know? I guess with his lack of knowledge about human things he truly had nothing to do unless i was guiding him. Fuck, now i really felt bad. What a buzzkill. "Im sorry...i understand how you feel now. I didn't think you cared. I know were just together because of the contract. I thought you still hated humans and didn't want to exist beside them."

"I do hate humans but you're my human now. Unfortunately, i have to rely on you and its maddening to be stuck here. In hell i did hundreds of things. I had a job. I had meetings with other demons. I planned wars, participated in real battles, created weapons. I was someone. Here, im nothing but a prisoner."

"Nonono! Please dont feel like that...i dont want to make you feel like that. Please..." I felt my eyes watering and i quickly buried my face in the crook of his neck. He sighed and tossed the controller on the table and shut my laptop. He kicked off the rest of his pants and with ease picked me up and led me to the bed.

"Dont ever speak of this. Not to Johnny, not to Xan. No one, understand?"

I nodded quickly as my back hit the mattress and he stayed above me. "You will do what i say just as much as im forced to do as you say. Love me unconditionally. Break me free from this world and show me why i shouldn't kill everyone in it."

I swallowed hard and nodded again. "I promise. I promise you everything."

"Good. Secondly...i would like to do battle against you in those games."

I couldn't help the giggle i let out. I didn't expect him to say something like that after being so serious. "Oh? You think you can beat me?"

"Im a strategist and a warrior. Of course i can."

"Oh, ok. You play a few rounds of Overwatch and suddenly you're the master. Just dont say anything when i kick your ass, bitch."

He chuckled deeply and snapped his hips without warning. He had still remained inside me and the sudden movement made me cry out loud. "Bring it on then. We'll see who's the better warrior here. Now," his eyes shifted into pure darkness and his fangs glistened with temptation. "Lets see how fast you can give in."

[cunaeparker]

toffee & tears | peter parker x reader

Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!OC

Summary: Peter's protective over cabbage, Shiloh Jane has a god-awful gag reflex and a bad tendency to cry in stressful situations, and Ned can't read an expiration date to save his life.

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Mentions of vomit 

this is for @spider-pxrkers​ writing challenge !!! i used an original character if thats okay. the prompt i chose, ‘take a picture it’ll last longer,’ is in bolded italic. also, if you have a fear of vomit, please don't read the parts in between the asterisks. its not mentioned much and isnt very detailed but there are some descriptions. ill put an indicator ( asterisks ) where it is so you can skip, though as a fair warning, its kinda crucial to the storyline and if u dont read some itll be kinda confusing. no pressure tho !!!!

masterlist // peter parker masterlist

"It's raining."

And Peter was right: the rain pounded against the large glass windows and thunder streaked across the grey sky, making SJ's heart skip a beat every time it crashed, startling her, and permitting her hand to twitch at the sudden noise; it smeared her pen handiwork on her page, and with an angered scoff and a mutter, she attempted to quickly wipe it off though her attempts were futile — the brand of ink seeped and stained the lined paper rather well, given the fact that it didn't smudge yet based on the way she was writing with her left hand.

Of course, just when the written report was due for creative writing, she somehow managed to smear blue ink all over her assignment. And leave her computer at the bus stop, which is why she was writing on paper in the first place.

Great.

She wanted to scream, but when Peter waved his hand in front of her, trying to grab her attention, she looked up at him, his words bringing her back to ground: She was in his apartment, working together because he was her partner. How could she forget? The encounter had been anything less than pleasant, if she was being honest. Peter forgot to offer her a drink, his living room looked like a neglected neighbourhood wetland, and his fridge reeked of old cottage cheese that he forgot about.

SJ sighed and nodded reluctantly in response to his bleak observation.

"I know," she replied. "I noticed."

Her words were said coldly, though not at all there — she was distracted, still preoccupied with the stain. She frowned and tried to wipe at it again, but this time, it smeared onto her writing and made it nearly unintelligible. She scoffed and began to wipe more vigorously, unaware of Peter's small smirk as he observed her, amused: she was wearing an oversized NYU t-shirt that he guessed she got freshman year, black shorts that hugged her hips a little too tight, a silver necklace that dipped nicely into the divot in her collarbones, a pair of funky long socks that she borrowed from her friend — adorned in a dreadful pot pattern, of course — a small bit of something subtle underneath her high cheekbones, contouring them beautifully, and best of all, a large, frustrated scowl on her face, tinged pink with annoyance.

It was endearing, if it wasn't for the fact that her venomous glare at the inanimate object was penetrating enough to puncture flesh, of course. But anyway, regardless of how much her gaze made him uneasy, he spoke again.

"You look like your head is going to explode, Shiloh Jane," he said.

Her scowl deepened but she didn't look up from her page. In fact, her pen began to fly faster.

"Don't call me that."

Another simple answer. And a retort, at that.

Peter raised an eyebrow and took a sip of his water. "You're a tough one to crack."

She didn't look up. "I know."

"Why do you keep giving me short answers?"

"I don't know," she said, shrugging.

"You're frustrating."

She finally looked up from her page, eyes wide and face flushed. Exasperated.

"What do you want me to do, give you my views on the meaning of life?" she snapped, annoyance lacing her words as she leaned forward and pressed her lips together. "I came here only because we were paired up for this damn assignment. And I hate to be blunt with you, Peter, I really do, but I really don't want to be sat at your coffee table while you do no work."

Peter shrugged. He reached across the table to take a sip of her coffee. Her aegean blue eyes narrowed.

A another scoff echoed from the back of her throat.

"That's quite the tangent," he commented, swallowing the coffee. He suppressed a shudder and a grimace, finding it rather lukewarm for his taste. He didn't know why she drank it cold but intended to ask her later. He continued. "Do you need some water? Your throat must be tired considering all that scoffing you're doing."

She stared at him for a moment, incredulous, before shaking her head — and unpredictably, scoffing — before going back to scribbling.

Peter was about to comment on how her handwriting looked like chicken-scratch, but decided not to mention it. He would rather not be found in his apartment with a slit throat from her sharp-tipped ink pen.

But, within a few seconds, he was back on the instigating train.

"Okay," he teased, leaning forward and furrowing his eyebrows as he took another instinctive sip from the coffee mug — now grimacing because he wasn't expecting the cold taste, "are you angry?"

SJ's freckled cheeks reddened and he thought he saw a flash of rage pass behind her eyes.

"No, I'm not," she said quietly, leg bouncing rapidly from underneath the table. "I'm... irked."

Peter raised an eyebrow. "Irked?"

"Yes."

"That sounds like something my grandma would say."

Suddenly, she slammed down her pen and looked up at him.

Peter jumped back, unprepared to see her eyes as livid as they were, especially with her heaving chest that had to be from an irregularly beating heart. Her eyes were wide and livid, nostrils flaring and hair seeming to frizz and heat with electricity, body reacting to the live, angry wires sparking inside of her — until her chest heaved one last time and her eyes broke, welling with tears.

And then suddenly, she was crying.

Peter sat still, perturbed.

"You don't get to comment on what I'm doing, Parker!" she cried shrilly, tugging at her hair. "All I'm trying to do is make it through the fucking semester, but here you are, acting like everything's fine, when it's just... not! I need to focus for fuck's sake! Can you please stop pestering me?"

Peter stayed quiet.

A large influx of guilt passed through his body and he had to suppress a shudder.

"I..." He bit his lip and meant to say something else in attempts to comfort her and apologize, but for a fleeting, idiotic moment, among the sound of SJ's blubbering lips, his eyes darted around the room and landed on the English toffee Ned brought back for him from England on Christmas vacation four years ago on top of his fridge — it was old, never-eaten, most likely bad, but he still found himself asking in a spur of the moment blur, "Do you want some toffee?"

SJ's cries stopped and she looked at him as if feelers sprouted from his head. "Toffee?"

Peter hesitated and for a moment thought that she was going to surge forward and throttle him.

"Uh, yeah. Toffee," he said reluctantly. He nodded his head towards the fridge and fidgeted with his fingers. "I have some, if you want. I think there's liquor or something in it, if that helps how you're feeling." He paused. "I... I'm sorry for how I acted, too. It was really immature."

But SJ didn't miss a beat.

"Toffee?"

Peter didn't know what to say. He opted for a slow, hesitant nod and a small, forced smile.

And then suddenly she sprang out of her chair, shirt clinging to her body from the tears she shed. Peter nearly fell backwards out of his chair at the sudden agility she showcased, but she was already onto the next thing — SJ stormed to his fridge muttering curses under her breath as she threw the door open and began rummaging through his groceries.

It was all so sudden the only thing he could do was stand and watch with a slightly gaping mouth.

But when she tossed a head of cabbage Peter was planning to use for dinner onto the floor, that's when he lost it.

"What are you doing?" he cried, stumbling forward. He picked up the cabbage and looked at SJ, scandalized. "I was using that for dinner!"

"And I want to get rid of this before I eat your damn candy," said SJ heatedly, eyebrows furrowed determinedly (and rather angrily, for some reason) as she pulled out the container of cottage cheese. "This has made it increasingly difficult to focus. How the hell do you eat this shit anyway? It tastes like underpants," she grimaced, tossing it into the sink, where it landed with a sickening splat and a gross emission of something that smelled like... well, age-old underpants. "Your apartment reeks of it. I wanted to tell you, but I feel like you kind of deserve it." She simpered and snatched the cabbage from a star-struck Peter, patting it gently before putting back into the fridge. "And don't worry Peter," she began, "it was never my intention to hurt your baby."

Peter's nose wrinkled. "My baby?"

SJ snickered, standing on her tiptoes and grabbing the box of toffee on the top of the fridge.

"The cabbage, of course," she said, before opening the box and popping one into her mouth. But then suddenly, she winced and her face morphed into a funny expression Peter found concerning, ears turning red and visage becoming an ill shade of green. She spat the slightly chewed candy onto the floor. "That's rancid!"

"It is?" Peter asked, genuinely curious. He took the box from her hands as she hurried to the sink to grab some water. The label read: 'Best before 3-18-1988.' Peter's nose wrinkled again. Where the hell did Ned get this from? He opened the cabinet below the stove and promptly tossed the whole thing.

Once he slammed the small cabinet door shut, he hurried over to SJ, who was now positively green and dry-heaving, because apparently, she forgot that the cottage cheese was in the sink and as soon as she leaned down to take a sip, she got a face full of stink.

She dry-heaved again and groaned.

Peter grimaced and pat her back, wincing as a string of saliva hung over the sink, connected between her lips and a strand of thick strawberry blonde hair.

***

"It was really that bad?" he asked, gently rubbing her back as — was that vomit? — expelled from her mouth. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think Ned would get me candy that expired thirty years ago!"

"Thirty —" SJ vomited again, "years —" she inhaled a large gulp of air before nearly coughing up a lung, "ago?"

Peter nodded gravely. "Yeah... I'm sorry." He paused. "Again."

"Ah, come off it," SJ said, gasping before expelling her stomach contents for what was probably the last time. "It's okay. It's not the toffee that's doing this, it's that damn cottage cheese." At the mere word she looked like she wanted to vomit again. "I have a really bad gag reflex and if something smells that bad, I'm gone." She made a whistling noise and showed her hand falling from a high height, before it reached the ground and was backed by an amusing exploding noise. She smiled weakly. "Apologies for ruining your sink."

"You didn't ruin it," Peter said, frowning. He rubbed her back and helped her up from her bent-in-half position over the stainless steel. "I can wash it. I do after dishes every time, anyways." He offered her a small smile. "It's no biggie."

SJ smiled tiredly as he wrapped an arm around her waist. "'No biggie?' Who are you? The Notorious B.I.G?"

Peter rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Shut up."

SJ laughed.

Peter's grip on her waist tightened as they began moving towards the table, and it might've been a little much, but he knew from personal experience how shaky one's legs could get after vomiting. And based on how much SJ did, he was almost certain that attempting to walk after using that much energy would result in a cracked head.

"Ah, shit," SJ said suddenly. Peter whipped his head to the side, expecting there to be blood bubbling from her nose or something, but his gaze followed hers and landed to the mess on her t-shirt. SJ scowled and pulled away from Peter, not noticing how his face fell slightly, holding it up to her face. "It's ruined."

***

"You can borrow one of my shirts," he offered. SJ looked at him funnily. "If you want," he added quickly, turning a subtle shade of pink.

SJ seemed to notice his pinkening face, because her eyes narrowed in a slightly accusatory way, but she seemed to shake it off with a small shake of her head. She tilted her head to the side.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "I don't want to intrude."

"You aren't intruding," Peter said. "It's all okay, I'll go grab you one."

He shot her a smile before heading to his room, rummaging quickly through his messy drawers. He picked out a large, grey Queen t-shirt, and it might not have been the best choice because it was huge even on him, who was short for normal standards — he stood at 5'8, whereas SJ stood at a petite 5'3. He considered it for a moment but shook it off with a brisk shake of his head.

He rushed out into the living room, where SJ stood in the same spot, observing his photographs with a small smile.

As soon as she saw him walk in, her face brightened.

"Is this your picture?" she asked, pointing to a picture of Spider-Man hanging on the wall.

Peter nodded, handing her the shirt as another wave of pink tinged his face. What was getting into him? Maybe it was the fact that he only put it up last year; it was definitely not one of the most humble moves, he loved it: It captured the essence of his alter ego perfectly. He thought it was a good picture and he was proud, considering he took it himself on a timer and in action.

"Yeah, it's mine. Do you like it?" he asked reluctantly, not wanting to sound too full of himself.

SJ nodded. "It's amazing. All the other pictures I've seen of Spidey are blurry and terribly edited. Crazy how those are the only ones that get published, hey?"

"Totally," he agreed quickly. "I actually had an internship at the Bugle — y'know, where they publish the pictures — and they thought my pictures were drawn or something. It was so absurd. They never got published in the end, but I'm still proud of my work." And then to take off the edge of egotistical prick he added, "I guess."

SJ frowned and her mouth hung open slightly, eyes darting back and forth between Peter and the picture.

"You took this?"

"...Yeah?"

"Peter, this is amazing!" she praised. "The colours are perfect and the shot is so clear!"

Peter blushed. "Thank you," he said, walking forward and standing beside her, observing the picture as well. "I really appreciate it. Are you into photography too?"

SJ shrugged. "Kinda. I was into it for awhile, and even thought about majoring in it, until my parents deemed it 'too impractical' and made me do something with English and Science." She nudged Peter's side and scowled. "It's dumb, hey?"

"Yeah," he said, "though I don't see why you shouldn't be allowed to do something you're passionate about..."

Peter felt odd about SJ's small admission. He didn't completely understand why she gave up on the thing she loved when a set of people told her she couldn't do it. He thought she was more strong-willed than that. But, SJ only shrugged, and interrupted his thoughts by placing his shirt in between her legs and taking off her current one.

It was so sudden, just like that, that Peter barely had time to comprehend the fact that some beautiful girl was standing topless in the middle of his apartment, admiring the designs on his shirt like she had no care in the world.

"Uh, what are you doing?" Peter asked, trying hard not to blush and cower away. "You can go in my bathroom to change, if you want."

SJ chuckled and folded the shirt over in her hands, reading the design. "It's okay," she assured, though it didn't entirely help Peter's case. "You don't strike me as malicious." And then just like that, she shrugged off her bra, turning around.

Peter nearly passed out.

He couldn't see anything, obviously, but he couldn't help to observe her back... it was a little intruding, but he couldn't help it. With his heart in his throat, he tried to look anywhere else but her, but his eyes seemed to go against his will and stay there, staring. Her back was well-defined and toned. It looked like she was fit. Peter intended to ask why she just took of her bra in the middle of his living room, but before the words could leave his mouth, he noticed a large, white scar going up the length of her spine.

He frowned and before he could comprehend it, he asked, "What's on your back?"

He clamped a hand over his mouth and felt his heart race. Why did he ask that? Why was he so intrusive?

SJ halted her moments for a second. She hesitated, and her movements slowed, but she only shook her head and blew out a steady stream of air through her lips, finally shrugging the shirt over her defined shoulders.

"It's nothing," she said, turning and offering Peter a taut smile, though her words weren't said as confidently as they usually were. Peter felt an influx of guilt. "It's just some dumb old battlescar, y'know. We all have them." She patted his chest, and Peter's mouth opened to apologize, but she cut him off by pressing a finger to his lips. "Don't apologize," she said quietly. "I get that question a lot. But, most of all," she raised an eyebrow, looking grave and saddened, until a sudden, wide smile curled up her full lips. "You should've taken a picture, it would've lasted longer. I have eyes on the back of my head, Parker. And also, I like Queen. Very unique. You have good taste."

And then she turned, shooting a flabbergasted Peter an enigmatic smile as she walked over to the kitchen to grab a paper towel, most likely about to wipe off the residue on her own shirt. But, it left Peter confused: What was she hiding, but most of all, why did she look so good in his clothing?

***

tags :

peter parker taglist ➝ @galaxystern08 @averyfosterthoughts @pparkeramorr @peterparkermadness

tom holland taglist ➝ @thenoddingbunny-blog​ @galaxystern08​ @coni-marti @inhumanwithpowers​​ @softholand

mutuals ➝ @quackeroos​ @parkersbliss​ @chaoticpete​ @cosmicholland​ @stardustom​ @mannien​ @my-patronus-is-mabel-pines​ @silteplaittais-toi @spideygirl2003 @yoinkyourheart​ @darlintom​ @dreamofaprilsblog​ @the-crazy-fanfictionist @peterspideyy​ @eridanuswave @thirzaholland​ @t-holland2080 @peachyparkerr @parkeret @etoileholland @j-romanoff001 @spider-pxrkers​

[abrakophile]

I was looking through a bunch of junk and found some letters from my dad when he was in the army. I’m afraid I'll accidently toss them, so maybe I’ll put them here?

OPs Name JUNE 02 03

I LOVE YOU

THIS IS MY NAME IN KURDISH

*my dad wrote his first and last name, and under it, in Kurdish*

ILL TRY AND FIND OUT HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME AND MOMS TOO.

ITS STILL HOT. I WORK AND READ BOOKS TO PASS THE TIME AWAY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? GOOD I HOPE. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? DO YOU EVER HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? TELL THEM I SAID “WASSUP?” NAH, DONT TELL THEM. TELL ME WHAT YOUR THINKING. I’M TRYING TO SEND YOU SOME MORE OF MY DRAWINGS. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DRAW YOU? DID YOU LIKE THE DRAWING I SENT YOU OF YOU NAME? ITS ALRIGHT IF YOU DIDNY. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT ME TO DRAW YOU.

(Flip Page)

THIS IS WEIRD! (The page does not have lines on the left side of it) i WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS PIECE OF PAPER. HaHa

I MISS YOU ALOT. PLEASE SOND ME SOME MORE OF YOUR DRAWINGS, YOU CAN DRAW ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO.

ARE YOU BEING GOOD FOR YOUR MOM? ITS NICE IF YOU HELP HER OUT WHILE I’M AWAY.

HAVE YOU BEEN ANYPLACE NEW? HOW IS SCHOOL GOING FOR YOU? IS MOMMY GOING TO SCHOOL? I KNOW I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WHEN I GET BACK. HOPEFULLY I GET THE CHANCE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS TO KNOW. THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

ALSO, ID LIKE TO DO SOME FISHING? HOW ABOUT YOU? I GUESS ILL END HERE. BE GOOD AND STAY IN SCHOOL. AND JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS.

THEYRE BAD.

I LIVE YOU OP

*hearts and x’s* DADDY

---

(I don’t know if all these pages are in order or if it’s missing any, but this was the letter in the same stack as the last but this one was for my mom. In some places his indents indicate passage of time.)

I HAVENT HAD ANY TIME TO WRITE SINCE WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD, NOT TO MENTION THAT WE CAN’T SEND MAIL WHEN WE’RE MOVING ALL THE TIME.

WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT FIVE OR SIX DAYS, I HAVENT REALLY BEEN COUNTING. I KNOW I TOLD YOU THAT WE’D BE IN KUWAIT FOR A WHILE, BUT THAT WAS SO YOU WOULDNT BE WORRIED. I’M GOING TO KEEP THIS LETTER THOUGH, TILL I GET HOME.

ABOUT TWO NIGHTS AGO, WE DROVE THROUGH BAGDHAD, SOMEBODY SAID THAT THERE WERE PILED BODIES, I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE.

AND I GUESS YESTERDAY, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE SAID THEY SAW A MISSILE OR SOEMTHING SHOT AT US. I WAS TRYING TO FIX A TRUCK SO I DIDNT SEE IT.

ITS NOT AS DUSTY HERE IN IRAQ. IT REMINDS ME OF THE CONVOYS IN KOREA.

MOST OF THE PEOPLE WILL WAVE “HI”. SOME OTHERS DONT.

I SAW A KID OPEN HIS HAND ONCE WHILE MOVING, AND IT SAID “BUSH” THAT WAS KIND OF COOL.

OH YEAH. HERES A STORY. WHILE OUT DOING A MISSION, ONE OF OUR “BRADLEY” TANKS FIRED ON AN ENEMY AMMO TRUCK AND CLIPPED A KID. THE ROUNDS BLEW ONE OF HIS LEGS OFF AND SOME OF THE OTHER, FROM THE KNEE DOWN. SO THE MEDICS PICKED HIM UP AND BROUGHT HIM TO OUR RECONCOLIDATING POINT FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. I GUESS HE EVENTUALLY DIED FROM LOSS OF BLOOD THE NEXT NIGHT AND YESTERDAY THEY TOOK HIM OUT AND BURIED HIM.

ALSO WE PICKED UP ABOUT 25-30 P.O.W.s AND SENT THEM SOUTH.

IT GETS PRETTY COLD AT NIGHT. AND THE DAY’S ARE VERY HOT.

SINCE WE LEFT KUWAIT ITS BEEN ME AND MENDOZA IN THE FIVE TON WRECKER AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT ITS BEEN EXCITING. WE KEPT GETTING SEPERATED FROM THE CONVOY AND BREAKING DOWN. BUT I THINK THAT WERE BETTER NOW. HOPEFULLY.

IM STILL WAITING TO BE AMBUSHED TO MAKE ALL THIS SEEM REAL TO ME. A PART OF ME WANTS IT AND ANOTHER DOESNT.

AND IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY OUR UNIT HAS TO STAY IN UNIFORM, EVERYONE ELSE WEARS T-SHIRTS AND BANDENA’S AND RAGS ON THEIR HEAD

WERE STILL GOING NORTH. NOBODY KNOWS HOW LONG WE’LL STAY. ITS NOT THAT BAD HERE. MEANING, IT COULD BE WORSE. 

I USED A “SHIT-CHAIR”. ITS JUST A METAL CHAIR WITH A HOLE CUT IN THE MIDDLE AND THE SEAT FROM A TOILET BOLTED TO IT, GROSS.

HELICOPTERS CAN BE HEARD ALL DAY AND NIGHT. I GOT TO SEE THEM DROP BOMBS ALL DAY ABOUT 3 DAYS AGO, FROM A DISTANCE OF COURSE.

ILL BE DRIVING AGAIN, IN A MINUTE. PROBABLY RE-FUEL AND BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN. IM ENJOYING IT.

I HAVE 8 MAGAZINES FULL OF ROUNDS. NO GRENADES, BUT I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.

SOMETIMES IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.

I GUESS ILL END IT HERE FOR NOW

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TWO TWICE IF NOT THRICE AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT MISS ME TOO.

HELLO AGAIN. WERE SOMEWHERE NEAR TIKRI + MOSUL. YESTERDAY, ME + MENDOZA WENT LOOKING FOR MOMENTO’S. WE BROKE A LOCK TO A NEAR BY BUNKER AND FOUND 6 A.K.47s! BUT ON OUR WAY BACK TO TURN THEM IN, MAJOR TATU GOT THEM FROM US. I WAS SO PISSED. BUT I GOT A GAS MASK w/ FILTER, A FULL MAGAZINE CLIP FROM ONE OF THE A.K.s AND A BERET WITH IRAQ 1 RANK ON IT.

I MADE A STENCIL FOR THE TRUCK WERE RIDING IN. ITS CALLED THE “GAMBLER.” YESTERDAY MENDOZA DROVE, SO TODAY ILL BE DRIVING.

IM NOT POSITIVE, BUT, I THINK WERE GOING TO TURKEY. NIETO SAYS THAT HE OVERHEARD SOMEBODY FROM S1 (or SI, I’m not sure) SAYING WE MIGHT GET PAID EXTRA FOR GOING THROUGH BAGHDAD.

I THINK NIETO’S MAD AT ME. CANT EXPLAIN WHY. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM RIDING WITH MENDOZA AND HE DOESNT LIKE MENDOZA TOO MUCH. OH WELL, WHATEVER REASON, HOPE THINGS GET NORMAL AGAIN. HAVE TO GO,

*hearts and xs*

TODAY IS THE 25th OF APRIL, I RECEIVED FIVE OR SIX (OR SEVEN) LETTERS YESTERDAY. THE LATEST WAS DATED 07 OF APRIL. THAT TELLS ME THAT ITS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO COMMUNICATE.

WE HAVENT RECEIVED MAIL BECAUSE WEVE BEEN MOVING NEVER STAYING IN ONE PLACE MORE THAN A DAY, OR TWO, UNTIL NOW. WE’VE BEEN IN THIS SPOT GOING ON FOUR DAYS TOMORROW?!

GIVE ME A MINUTE...

FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS IVE BEEN HELPING MENDOZA PULL THE ENGINE OUT OF A 5 TON TRUCK AND SWITCH IT w/ ANOTHER ONE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY BUT THE FLY WHEEL SEIZED UP INSIDE THE BELL HOUSING. ITS FINISHED NOW AND THE RUMOR IS WE’RE LEAVING  (OR MOVING) AGAIN TOMORROW.

ITS 10:33 THURSDAY MORNING. YOUR TIME IS 12:32 JUST TURNING THURSDAY.

I ALMOST CRYED WHEN I SAW ELIS PICTURE. I REALLY MISS BOTH OF YOU. LET ME BACK TO BEFORE I GOT DISTRACTED. I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SEND MAIL BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN MOVING. BUT I GUESS THAT WHATEVER THREAT THERE WAS (IF ANY), ISNT SO THREATFUL ANYMORE, WE CAN START RECEIVING AND SENDING MAIL. NO PHONE TO CALL FROM, AND NO INTERNET TO E-MAIL FROM.

THE WHOLE UNIT IS SCATTERED, SO EVEN IF I GET WHAT YOU NEED IT’LL TAKE FOREVER TO GET IT TO YOU. LET ME PULL THOSE LETTERS BACK OUT. OH WAIT. I DID LAUNDRY AND SOME UNDERWEAR THATS DRY, FELT HARD, OH WELL, WAIT A SECOND, K

I HAD TO FOLD SOME T-SHIRTS. ALL MY SOCKS ARE STILL DAMP. 

YOU CAN USE MY CONTRACT TO SHOW THAT I ENLISTED IN TEXAS AND HOWS THIS

*On a separate sheet my dad wrote a detailed note for my mom to give to someone to confirm that he did want to buy a house. He writes “I AM ALIVE AND WELL.” and “PLEASE ACCEPT THIS PAPER”, then he signed it with his scribble signature, and underneath it wrote his name in print and added “1st SQUADRON 10th CAVALRY HEADQUARTERS TROOP (I have no clue what this means)*

HOW’S THAT? HOPE I SPELLED EVERYTHING CORRECTLY. IM ALMOST READY WITH A DESIGN TO COVER THE OTHER TATTOOS ON MY LEFT FOREARM.

I JUST FINISHED LOOKING OVER ALL THOSE LETTERS YOU SENT FOR ME

IM BACK! I GOT SLEEPY SO I TRYED TO LAY DOWN FOR A LITTLE BIT. NO SLEEP. I DONT THINK. I DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH WATER TO WASH MY DCV’S AND A PAIR OF BDV’S. BESIDES FOR DRINKING WATER, BUT WE HAVE TO CONSERVE IT.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE RUMORS. TOMORROW WE’LL BE LEAVING FOR THE IRAN/IRAQ BORDER TO DO “PEACE KEEPING” FOR 3 TO 6 mths. OTHERS SAY THAT THE 4ID (i think is what this says) GENERAL WANTS TO KEEP US HERE TILL NOV., THATS WHEN 1 CAV WILL COME TO REPLACE US. WHILE OTHERS SAY WE MIGHT LEAVE BY JUNE. NOTHINGS FOR SURE.

SMALLER RUMORS FLOATING AROUND THE SITE ARE; RAMSEY AND SFC BACON ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER. SGT SIREK HAS PLANS TO TAKE NIETO AS HIS APPRENTICE AND PADIWAN LEARNER OF THE DARK SIDE. LITTLE BLACK ARNOLD IS MILITARY INTELLIGENCE FOR SPECIAL FORCES OPERATING UNDER COVER A SURVEILLENCE AS PART OF

*the rest of the page is blank*

IM BACK. TODAY IS THE 27th. I GOT BACK TO THE LITTLE CAMP AREA ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO. I LEFT YESTERDAY MORNING TO, WELL, AS PART OF DE-CON (DE-CONTAMINATION) MISSION. HERES THE INFORMATION THAT I GATHERED.

A SITE HAD BEEN FOUND THAT WAS THOUGHT TO HAVE CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND 1-10 WAS APPOINTED TO GO TO THE SITE AND DE-CON THE CIVILIANS THAT WERE GOING TO OPEN THEM. AS IT TURNS OUT THE CIVILIANS HAVE BEEN DE-LAYED AND WOULD BE SET BACK 1 DAY.

THE NBC TEAM THAT I WAS WITH WERENT PREPARED TO STAY OVER NIGHT AND AS FORCASTED BY SSG MINOR WE MIGHT HAVE HAD TO STAY 3 TO 4 DAYS. EVERYBODY WAS PISSED.

LATELY ITS BEEN GETTING REALLY COLD AT NIGHT AND WE JUST HAPPENED TO BE NEAR A RUNNING RIVER. SO THE, ITS ABOUT 9 O’CLOCK AND IM BEAT, NO SLEEPING BAG OR ANYTHING TO COVER UP WITH AND I DECIDE TO TRY AND SLEEP. I GET AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE AND I GET ATTACKED BY MOSQUITOS. NOW IM PISSED SO I DECIDED TO JUST TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT. ABOUT 10PM ONE OF THE HEMTT (this might just say “hemi”, I don’t know) FUELERS SHOWS UP AND SGT TORRES SAYS HE HAS EVERYBODYS SLEEPING BAG! THE SITES ABOUT 45 MINS AWAY AND THEY LEFT SOMETIME MID AFTERNOON TO GET OUR SHIT, I HATE THESE PEOPLE.

RIGHT NOW ITS 9:01 PM AND ITS 11:02 AM YOUR TIME. I MISS YOU.

RIGHT NOW IM GOING TO ADDRESS AN ENVELOPE AND HAVE IT READY TO SEND TOMMOROW THE 28th. IM SORRY IF IT SEEMS THAT IM NOT WRITING VERY OFTEN. FOR A WHILE WE COULDN’T. AND NOW THAT IT SEEMS WE MIGHT BE HERE A LITTLE WHILE, THEYVE KEPT ME REALLY BUSY. LET ME ADDRESS THE ENVELOPES (he drew a star here)

ALL DONE. I THOUGHT ABOUT THE HOUSE A LOT TODAY AND YESTERDAY. IM SURE BY THE TIME THIS LETTER REACHES YOU, YOU’LL HAVE EITHER GOTTEN IT OR GAVE IT UP. IM O.K. WITH EITHER DECISION YOUVE MADE.

YOUVE KEPT THIS FAMILY TOGETHER, AND THAT MAKES ME PROUD. YOUR SMART, ATTRACTIVE AND FUNNY. AND YOU DONT TAKE ANY SHIT FROM ANYBODY. I LOVE YOU.

I HOPE THAT OUR DAUGHTER TURNS OUT TO BE LIKE YOU.

I GUESS ILL MAIL THIS TOMORROW, FIRST THING, SO

EVER YOURS

EVER MINE

*my dad signed it with his scribble, and wrote his name under it. under that are hearts and x’s with my mom’s name and then my name under hers.*

[backtobackbakubabe]

Baby its Cold Outside (PART 2)

Bakugo x Reader

Bakugo has feelings

*Angst *Fluff *Smutish *All the feelings

Words: 1894

PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE

*****************************************************************************************************

Ever since that fateful day a month ago that you forgot your jacket, you and Bakugo had been all over each other. You basically lived at his place. Waking up every morning to a fresh cup of coffee just the way you like it and if you were lucky, maybe even some shower sex before you went off to work.

He loved having you over all the time, and if he didn't think it was too soon he'd probably ask you to move in. Hell you had known each other for over five years now. Just because you only now started dating doesn't mean he hadn’t thought about this for a while. He loved making you dinner and taking care of you. He found it adorable how you could never reach anything in his kitchen. You begged him to move some stuff down to a lower shelf but he refused. Saying it was more fun to watch you climb on the counters. In reality he just liked that you always needed him to reach things.

You were always popping back and forth between your apartment and his. He had learned that if he listened really hard he could hear the telling sound of whooshing air that signaled your coming and going. It was subtle but he grew accustomed to it and could now pick it out anywhere. Subconsciously smiling every time he heard it. He still acted surprised whenever you tired to sneak up on him. You were always so cute when you thought you had actually scared him.

You were nervous work would be weird now that you two were together. But it was the opposite. Your chemistry was through the roof, and you were kicking ass. I mean there was the one incident were you chased down a thief and totally kicked his ass before Bakugo could get there. First he was yelling about how you were reckless and should have waited for back-up and then the next thing you knew you were being pushed into a side closet and being fucked senseless.

Today had been a long day. Bakugo had the day off and spent the whole day with Kirishima doing whatever it is those two do. You had to be paired up with some random hero you had never heard of for patrol today and he bored you to death. You wanted your spicy nugget back.

You could hear Bakugo banging around upstairs so you knew he was home. Excitedly you teleported into his apartment which was something that had become quite the habit the last few weeks. You quietly snuck over to him as he cooked in the kitchen. You didn't know what it was, but it smelled really fucking good.

You slipped your hands around his waist as you hugged him from behind, “mmm smells good baby.”

“Keep making noises like that and I just might have to bend you over the kitchen table and take you right here.”

You playfully swatted at his stomach, “Such a caveman”

He continued to stir whatever it was he was cooking, “But I’m your caveman.”

You slowly pushed past the waistband of his pants and palmed him through his boxers, “And I’m all yours...”

And that's how Bakugo, for the first time ever....burnt dinner.

*****

You were walking around the apartment wearing one of his t-shirts looking for take out menus. You two had worked up quite the appetite. You returned to his bed, phone in one hand and a ramen menu in the other.

Bakugo put his hand on your thigh and rubbed soothing circles, “Hey I think we need to talk.”

You froze as panic started to seize you. No good conversation ever started that way.

He gently took the things from your hands and pulled you into his lap. Brushing his thumbs over your cheeks, “I think we need to tell our boss we’re dating. It's kind of unprofessional for us to be partnered on patrol if we’re romantically involved.”

You let our a huge sigh of relief, “I thought you were about to break up with me. I was seriously about to start crying.”

He brushed a stray lock of hair away from your face, “Oh no! Dont be fucking dramatic. Of course not you idiot. You think I’d wait five years to make a move just to toss you to the curb. No you’re unfortunately stuck with me.”

You gave him a soft smile and leaned forward snuggling into his neck, “Is that why you want a new patrol partner? Because you’re stuck with me.”

You were just teasing him and he knew that but he still rolled his eyes. “No I love working with you. Honestly, I know I complained at first, but I love getting to see you in action. If anything it turns me on.”

You thumped him on the forehead, “We’re having a serious conversation here reel it in horn dog.”

He frowned, “I went to get some drinks with Kirishima and we got to talking about how scary it is to have significant others also in the hero business. Y/n if something were to happen to you I don't know what I’d do.” His grip on you tightened. “If it were to come down between saving you or catching a villain or hell even saving you or saving a civilian... I would choose you every time. Hero’s aren’t supposed to selfish, but how can I not be when my first priority is always going to be standing right next to me.”

He started to run his hands through his hair out of frustration, “And honestly I don't think changing partners would even help at all. Because I don't know if I could trust anyone on this earth to watch your back while your out there the way I do. I would be worried sick every day. And I know I can’t ask you to quit, that’s not even an option... I’m just freaking out!”

You cradled his head against your chest and you ran your fingers through his hair. You felt a single tear run down your cheek. You knew he cared, but you didn't know he cared this much. That was practically a declaration of love, especially coming from Bakugo. You two had known each other since UA, and you have never seen him show so much emotion that wasn’t rage.

“Oh honey nothing’s going to happen to me. When push comes to shove I can always teleport away. It may only be 50 yards right now but that's farther than I could at the begging of UA! Remember you used to make fun of me because I could only go about 20 feet. You pushed me every day to be better and look where I am now. That’s because of you! Who knows, maybe soon I’ll be able to go miles!”

He got very serious as he took your head in his hands, “Promise me y/n. Promise me that if it’s ever you or me you will always pick yourself. I need to know that if we ever get in a sticky situation you’ll teleport away.”

You could see the desperation in his eyes. He really needed to hear you say it. But you couldn't. It would be a lie. There’s no way you could ever leave him behind. Even before you two were together you still would have fought till the end with him.

“Katsu... you have to understand how impossible that is to ask of me. Could you do it? Leave me behind and run off to safety?” His eyes watered up but no tears spilled out. “I know you couldn't. We’re heroes... it’s in our job description to put others before oursleves.”

His hands left your face and settled in his lap holding on to yours. His eyes couldn't meet yours. You had never seen him so vulnerable. “Please y/n. For my sanity. Just promise me.” His eyes snapped up to yours and they looked so sad but so serious. “I tried so hard to not have feelings for you. For years I teased you and pushed you away because I had convinced myself being a hero would be easier if I did it alone. No matter what I did though I could never get rid of those nagging feelings. You don’t even know how many times I’ve lost my shit over you.”

He took a deep breath, “Once at UA, Mineta somehow had acquired a picture of you while you were changing and I beat the little shit to a pulp.” Oh Shit he really was opening the flood gates now. “All those times I pushed you harder in training was because I knew I wasn’t going to be there with you out in the real world and I wanted to know you could take care of yourself.”

He ran a hand over his reddening face“Shit just last month when we were on patrol! When that villain had you pinned I saw red. I fucking blew his face off. All those times I bitched about you holding me back when really I was just a nervous wreck on high alert all the time!”

He was really on a rant now. His face was flushed as he just continued to get himself worked up. It would have been cute if it wasn’t such a serious topic.

“Babe, I cant even begin to tell you how much I appreciate how much you care about my well being. I really and truly do. But like you said you pushed me so hard in training to make sure I was ready. And thanks to you I am...” You gave his shoulder a playful punch, “Besides you’re Ground Zero! Soon to be the number one hero. There isn’t a villain alive who compares to your power.”

You were just stroking his ego now but he did seem to calm down a bit. “I may not be able to promise I’ll always pick my myself over you. But I can promise that starting now I’ll try and be more careful with the risks I take. I promise I won’t intentionally put myself in danger, how does that sound?”

He groaned and started playing with your hair, “You fucking stuburn women! You never do what I ask and I mean never! If you were anyone else I’d pound some sense into you!”

You wagged your eyebrows, “I mean I’m always down for you to ah... pound... some sense into me.”

“Nope! NO! I will NOT be tempted by pelvic sorcery! You will not distract me...” You could feel his hands sliding up and down your thighs, “Like the biggest brat in the world once said, ‘reel it in horn dog.’”

You moved your hips to grind against him, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m just casually sitting in my incredibly hot boyfriends lap minding my own business...”

“Damnit women!... okay FINE! BUT THIS CONVERSATION ISNT OVER!”

He grabbed your ass with a hard squeeze as he pushed you harder into his growing erection. “Shit what are you doing to me. All you have to do it bat those fucking eyes and I lose my fucking train of thought.” You yelped as he flipped you over and pined you to the mattress. “Now for once just be a good girl and let me take care of you...”

[dvp95]

quiet on widow’s peak (6)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 2.9k (this chapter), 19.7k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

Hope my friends and I didn't make things weird for you yesterday. We're heading to the city around noon if you're still up for helping us with the boring part.

noon?? fucking alright i guess i gotta put pants on

lmao yeah, sorry. My parents woke us up at EIGHT like that's a normal time to be awake????

desgostang

What?

ill send u the link later and also no i didnt feel weird yesterday you guys are nice

That's good! And hey I wanted to ask. You were kind of put on the spot with introducing yourself, would you rather we called you Dan or Winnie? I just wanna make sure we aren't making you uncomfortable at all lmao

no its all fine you can call me dan idc and actually its best if you do call me dan when youre in my work lmao

Are you totally sure?

why would i lie abt this. dont be an idiot it isnt a good look on you

haha okay. I’ll see you around noon.

--

“Christopher is a nice boy,” Phil’s mum is telling him as she helps him with their fancy new coffeemaker. There are so many buttons and Phil is so, so tired. “And Sophie is lovely, such a soft-spoken thing. Why haven’t we met them before, dear?”

“Dunno,” Phil says instead of the truth, which is that he’d had no idea how he was supposed to introduce them. “You have now, though.”

His mum laughs and reaches up to pat his cheek. “True enough. I’m so happy that you’ve got good people around you, Philip. I’ve gotten quite worried about you down there by yourself, you know.”

“I’m not by myself,” says Phil. “I live with, like, thirty people.”

“Bunch of strangers, I’ll bet,” she says, because she knows him. “Aside from those three.”

The thing is, she’s not wrong. Phil’s obviously exaggerating about the number of people under the roof of the creaky Brighton house, but the truth is that he can’t keep track half the time. A lot of the rooms get sublet out randomly, or a significant other will start spending so much time around the place that they might as well pay rent, and Phil really isn’t good with new people. He gets along fine with Holly and Dave, but they’ve been there as long as he has and the closest they’ve ever come to a heart-to-heart was comparing anxiety meds over burned pancakes.

Chris and Sophie were there when Phil moved in, and they’d taken one look at him and decided to just keep shoving into his space until he liked having them there, like they were on a mission to adopt PJ’s sad, ghost-obsessed friend from the internet.

“You might be right,” Phil says, feeling a smile tug at his lips for the first time all morning. He’s already had a coffee - and a half, when PJ declared that not even Kath could make coffee taste good and shoved the rest of his Phil’s way - but he still doesn’t feel fully awake. “I’m only really friends with Chris and Soph because of PJ.”

“PJ is a good friend to you, isn’t he?” his mum hums. That slightly pointed tone doesn’t get to Phil the way it usually does, because he knows that she’s just trying to understand him.

It doesn’t escape Phil’s notice that he’s looking into a mirror whenever he sees his parents watching him carefully, waiting for him to tell them something he hasn’t explicitly said, because he’s been doing the exact same thing to his housemates for nearly two years.

Maybe he’ll tell his parents when he’s got someone serious or even, like, semi-serious. Longer than two dates would be a record at this point. But right now he already feels like he’s been one misstep away from disappointing them, and he doesn’t want to take the gamble that his sexuality will be that misstep.

He’s not up for this conversation, though, isn’t sure he’ll ever be, so he just says, “Yeah, he is.”

--

Dan is late. They’re so late, actually, that Phil’s wheel of worst case scenarios has been spinning silently and getting faster and faster the more caffeine he chugs. They roll in with flushed cheeks and a jacket that looks too thin, apologies on their shiny lips that Phil doesn’t even hear for a couple of seconds because he’s too busy staring at them.

“No worries,” Sophie says, interrupting their rambling before they lose another half hour to it. “You want something? I’m getting a refill.”

“No, no, let me,” says Dan. They shrug off their jacket and hang it on one of the empty chairs. Phil and his friends have co-opted the largest table in the place so they can spread out with their laptops and notebooks, and it doesn’t escape Phil’s notice that Dan has decided to sit next to him when they’ve got a couple of options. “I get free drinks if Gabe’s in a good mood. Anyone else need a refill?”

“Me,” Chris says, not looking up from his screen. “Not Phil. He’s cut off.”

“Hey,” Phil protests weakly. His heart rate really has picked up since they sat down, so he knows Chris has a point.

Dan grins, their soft cheeks giving way to the dimples that Phil is very quickly growing obsessed with. He just wants to make Dan smile and laugh constantly, to hear them cackle and see all the lines in their round face deepen with happiness.

Right. Phil watched a horror movie with PJ instead of unpacking this fluttering start of a crush last night, and now he’s just got to deal with it for the rest of the day.

As if it’s a compulsion, Dan clears the empty mugs from their table before heading up to the counter. Phil focuses on the EMF readings so he doesn’t get caught up on Dan holding four mugs by the handles with total ease.

PJ has got headphones on and his eyes closed, so he might not even have noticed that Dan is there. He’s been going through Sophie’s footage and his own audio recordings to try and find some anomalies while Chris looks for the weird visual stuff - they’re a great team at that, and it makes Phil feel like he’s not doing enough. Sure, he could find those things on his own, but not as quickly as they can when it’s a team effort, and they’re on a bit of a tight schedule here. Well, his housemates are. They’ve got actual jobs to get back to once the weekend is over.

Allegedly, Sophie is doing research on sigils, but it looks to Phil like she’s just doodling. Not that he really blames her if she is. He’s barely been paying attention to the chart he’s making of spikes in electromagnetism because he’s been so busy watching the door for Dan.

And Dan looks… good. They’re wearing chunky boots and a shirt that falls to their thighs - a dress, maybe, but it looks like a regular black t-shirt that got extended at the hem - with tight white jeans. The only colour on them is the plaid shirt around their waist and the shiny red product on their lips to match it. Phil watches them lean against the counter and grin at the older barista, and he’s so distracted by looking at their profile that he startles when a foot connects with his under the table.

“Stop staring,” Sophie says, quiet and smiling. “He’s going to notice.”

Phil considers correcting her, but then he remembers that he probably doesn’t have to. Dan had said any pronouns, that they didn’t care how they were referred to, so it would definitely be weirder to act like he knows better than Sophie.

He knows he won’t be able to use masculine terms for Dan. Not because they aren’t true, because he’s pretty sure they’re no less accurate than neutral or feminine would be, but because thinking of Dan as a maculine person is only going to allow Phil’s brain to fall into the familiar traps of gender in ways he doesn’t want to allow.

Gay monkey brain doesn’t need any more leeway in finding Dan attractive, that’s for damn sure.

“So, what are we doing?” Dan asks, interrupting Phil’s thoughts, and, wow, four mugs is a lot more impressive when they’re full of hot liquid. Phil marvels at Dan’s ability not to trip and spill it all as they dole out the coffee and teas.

“I’m doing the boring part,” says Phil. He turns his screen so Dan can see the Excel spreadsheet and laughs at the face they make. “Yeah. It's not glamorous, but it's the easiest way to find patterns in the EMF readings. Honestly, most of my job is just staring at things and finding patterns in them. Like, uh, what's that guy? With the butterfly splotches?"

"Worcestershire," Chris suggests.

"Rorschach," Dan corrects him, lips twitching like they aren't sure if they're allowed to laugh in Chris' face or not.

“That’s exactly what I said,” says Chris.

“You know EMF meters don’t have anything to do with ghosts, right?” Dan asks, ignoring Chris completely and leaning a bit closer to Phil to get a better look at his laptop. “I mean, none of this has anything to do with ghosts, really, but you’re more or less just measuring electricity.”

Phil is aware of that. He wonders if Dan thinks he just stumbles into haunted houses with equipment he hasn’t researched and waits to be spooked. He’s too distracted by how close Dan is and how good they smell to work up to proper offense, though. “Yeah,” he says simply. “But don’t you think it’s weird that the place still has electricity to begin with? Who’s paying for that?”

“A Wilkins, I’d imagine.”

“But why? If they’ve forgotten about the property or abandoned it on purpose, surely they wouldn’t still pay the bills.”

“Maybe they don’t handle their own finances,” Dan suggests. “How rich were these assholes?”

“I honestly don’t know,” says Phil. He taps his fingers in an erratic pattern on the edge of his laptop, trying to spark something in his mind.

It’s almost disappointing when Dan pulls away to dig out their own sleek Macbook out of their messenger bag, but Phil is also glad for it. He can think a lot easier when the warm scent of spice and mint isn’t clogging his brain.

Dan slots into the work as easily as if a space was left for them. They’ve got dozens of tabs open already and they start to go through them, cross-referencing magic things with Sophie in quiet tones and digging deeper into the Wilkins family than Phil ever would have thought to. Every so often they tap Phil on the arm and drag him into whatever rabbithole they’ve fallen down, chatting animatedly.

Phil knows, objectively, that Dan is a fan of his and that Dan is weird about research. It’s another thing entirely to watch it happen in real time, to see Dan pull up local census PDFs from the eighties and explain why chaos magic is bullshit in the same breath.

An hour or so goes by like that, all of them working on their own things with minimal words exchanged by everybody but Dan, and then Chris shouts loud enough to make the barista jump. Nobody else is in the coffee shop right now, which is lucky, because Dan’s got a hand over their chest and Sophie has slopped tea down her front. PJ, with his headphones on, simply cracks an eye open.

“What the fuck was that about?” Phil asks, putting his own palm against his chest to feel his heart race. Dan raises their eyebrows and looks at Phil, seemingly distracted from the startling, wordless exclamation.

They don’t get a chance to say whatever they’re thinking, though, because Chris is turning his laptop to the rest of the table and grinning wide like the Cheshire Cat. “I found something.”

Everybody gathers round, PJ getting up to lean over the back of Phil’s chair and Sophie getting so far into Dan’s personal space that Phil is certain they’re uncomfortable with it, and then Chris presses play upside down. It’s part of Sophie’s footage, Phil standing in the dim foyer and looking frustrated. Even without sound, Phil can tell that this is when he was arguing with Sophie about going upstairs. He squints, but he can’t see whatever it is that’s got Chris being so loud.

“What am I looking at?” PJ asks when the short clip ends, and Dan hums an agreement. Chris makes a frustrated noise like they’re being obtuse on purpose and rewinds to the beginning.

"There," Chris says, excited like he hasn't been since they got to Manchester. He taps his finger against the laptop screen. "D'you see it? D'you see the shadow?"

Now that Chris has pointed it out, Phil does see something. He moves his own laptop and notebook out of the way to pull Chris’ closer with a frown. Chris lets him do that, bouncing in his seat a little bit.

“That’s straight up a person,” Phil says slowly, tracing the outline of the shadow with the mouse. It’s behind him, in the entry to the kitchen, and it looks tall. Quite a bit taller than Phil, anyway, if he’s remembering that doorframe correctly. He decides to measure it next time they go so he isn’t going off memory. “I knew we weren’t alone in there. Like. I’m not crazy, that’s a human being.”

“That’s what I thought,” says Chris. “But press play.”

So Phil presses play. He watches the shadow stay perfectly still in the kitchen doorway until, suddenly, it’s not there anymore. He blinks, rewinds, and watches it disappear again.

Phil’s caffeinated brain is firing on all cylinders now. He grins and shoves his sleeves up to his elbows before he starts fiddling with the clip. The lighting gets played with until the shadow is more obvious and then he slows it down to 0.25 times speed to see if the shadow really just vanishes.

He presses play again. This time, with a very slow-motion Phil talking in the foreground, he sees the shadow move. It runs sideways, further into the house.

“What the fuck?” Dan breathes.

“We are not going back there without some serious protection,” PJ says, even firmer on the topic now.

“What, like sigils?” Dan asks, their pretty eyes wide even as they scoff. “You’d be better off with a fucking, like, baseball bat, mate. That doesn’t look like something that wants to be your friend.”

“I’ve got a crowbar in PJ’s trunk,” Phil says, absent-minded as he plays with the clip some more.

“Excuse me? When did you put that in my car?”

“Couple months ago.”

“Huh. How have I not noticed?”

“You’re not the most observant person I’ve ever met,” says Phil. He looks up at Chris, who’s got the same exhilarated look that Phil is sure he’s mirroring. They don’t get evidence like this very often, something so clearly there that it’s even got a skeptic’s mind racing. Phil exports the edited clip and then the original, putting them both into the Cloud and emailing them to himself. “Was this the only time you saw it?”

Chris nods, accepting his laptop back when Phil is done with it. “I’ll look through everything again, now that I know what I’m looking for and all, but I think that’s it.”

“Okay, cool.” Phil looks around at his friends and Dan, beaming. “Something weird is happening. I love it when something weird is happening.”

“I hate it when something weird is happening,” PJ says, which is a blatant lie.

“Well, we can’t go snooping around until it’s darker out, anyhow,” Sophie reminds them.

“Wait, we’re snooping?” Dan asks, their voice going up an entire octave in disbelief. “Like… you just saw that someone is there and probably not happy about people sneaking around, right? Don’t you have enough for a video already?”

“We’re spending the night,” says Phil. “It’s what we do.”

“It’s what you do,” PJ corrects him.

“Okay, yeah, you guys don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

“No, I’m coming,” says PJ.

As if she can’t hear them bickering, Sophie turns to Dan with a sweet smile, her eyes twinkling with the same excitement in Chris’. They love this, just like Phil does. “What about you, Dan?” she asks. “Are you going to have a ghost sleepover with us?”

“There’s no such thing as ghosts,” Dan says, their eyes still glued to the back of Chris’ laptop like they can see the shadow through it.

“Guess you don’t have anything to be afraid of, then,” says Chris.

“Uh, axe murderers, maybe?”

“We know what we’re doing, Dan,” Phil reassures them. He reaches a hand out to pat at their arm, feeling a bit awkward about it. “But you don’t have to come with us if you’re scared.”

That makes Dan’s gaze shift. Suddenly, those brown eyes are staring right into Phil’s soul, defiant and beautiful and impossible to look away from.

“Who said I was fucking scared?”

[cas-lost-grace]

Dare

As demanded by @mythicalesbian , @dascean , @ailuromatron , @theladydetective , @anxious-gay-dinosaur , @casbeanie (I probably forgot someone)

A sequel of Truth or Dare, explicit, college!au, first time, friends to lovers

It must be Murphy’s law that when you drunkenly decide to do something you don’t have the courage for while sober, the moment you are about to actually do it, you instantly sober up.

Dean watches as Cas closes the door and sits on Dean’s bed and his head is suddenly painfully clear.

Dean leans his back against the door and runs his hands over his face.

"Dean? Are you okay?"

Dean shakes his head but doesn’t elaborate.

Castiel stands up and with a concerned expression on his face walks towards Dean.

"What’s wrong?" he asks tilting his head.

"Do you... do you really want to do it?"

"What? Finger you? Yes. I’d like to suck your cock too if that’s fine."

Dean closes his eyes and lets his head hit the door.

"How can you just... we- we’re-"

"Friends?"

Dean looks at him and nods, glad that he understands.

"Yes, we are, Dean. But I’m also very attracted to you. And it´s mutual judging by how determined you’ve been all night to get me undressed."

Dean’s lips part, but he doesn’t get a chance to say anything.

Cas gives him a small sad smile and brushes his fingertips down Dean’s jaw.

"But you’re right, Dean. We shouldn’t do it. Not like this, not because of a dare. If I’m ever going to do anything sexual with you, it has to be because you actually want it." With that, he reaches around Dean for the door handle.

For a moment, Dean imagines he lets Cas go, then wakes up in the morning still wanting him but never ever finding the courage so they will stay very frustrated friends.

"Wait!"

Cas looks at him. His eyes are wide and his cheeks are still flushed and he’s wearing just his boxers. How the hell could Dean let him go?

"I want it," Dean basically spits the words out. Cas squints at him.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah I’m sure just... could we like... maybe... kiss first? If that’s okay?"

Cas looks like he’s trying to hold back a grin, but his lips still curl into a smile.

"Of course, Dean. You didn’t expect me to throw you on the bed and just fuck you with my fingers, did you?"

"I-uh." Dean rubs the back of his neck, his cheeks feel on hot. Cas huffs out a laugh.

"Come here, you dumbass, let me kiss you."

Dean looks up and before he can realize that they are really about to do it, Cas is leaning in and pressing their lips together.

Technically it’s like any other first kiss. A little awkward and hesitant before they get in sync with each other.

But other than this, it’s totally different than any other kiss Dean’s ever had. Because it’s Cas. It’s Cas and his lips are very soft, his tongue pointy and downward sinful and his shoulders are firm under Dean’s hands and his hair is all fluffy and it’s Cas. Smart, kind, dorky Cas that Dean’s been fascinated by from the first moment he met him. And now they are kissing and it’s blowing Dean’s mind making him feel even drunker than he’s felt before.

"Still want it?" Cas asks, his lips bearly leaving Dean’s.

"More than ever," Dean answers truthfully.

 Dean’s still nervous as they stumble onto the bed, but Cas’ kisses distract him enough that he doesn’t entirely freak out when he finds himself on his back, his pants and underwear being pulled off.

"Wow, nice," Cas breathes out when Dean’s cock bobs against his belly. Dean’s cheeks feel so like they might go up in flames any minute.

"Thanks, I guess," he mutters. Cas chuckles and leans down to mouth at the base of Dean’s cock.

"Oh fuck!" Dean cries out. His arms fly up to grab the headboard.

Cas lets out another deep chuckle and rescues Dean’s feet from his clothes. He runs his palms up Dean’s hairy thighs, his stare is so intense on Dean’s body it’s almost unbearable. Dean tries not to twitch as Cas’ touch gives him goosebumps.

Cas’ hands tighten on Dean’s hipbones and he actually licks his lips before diving down and swallowing Dean’s cock.

Dean gasps for breath. He’s had blowjobs before, quite a lot, but nobody has ever blown him like this, with such devotion, like Dean’s the best thing he’s ever had in his mouth. Dean makes a sound that’s halfway between a moan and a sob, desperately trying not to push deeper into Cas’ throat.

Cas pulls off with an obscene wet sound and looks at Dean. His lips are even pinker than normally and his blue irises are almost entirely swallowed up by black pupils. Dean clenches his teeth feeling like he might come from the sight alone.

"So," Cas says as he straightens and pushes lightly at Dean’s knees to make him bent them. "When you did it yourself, how many fingers did you take?"

Dean’s boiling blood all drained to his cock but now it’s in his cheeks again.

"Just one," he admits breathlessly. "And I’ve never been with a guy." He bites his lip the moments the words are out. He has no idea why he said it. Cas’ eyes widen in surprise and for a brief moment, Dean dreads that Cas might back off.

"Not at all?" Cas asks. Dean shakes his head.

"I... I know I’m into guys I just... never acted on it."

"Hmm," Cas’ deep voice rumbles as he looks down at Dean. "Then I’d better try really hard to not ruin it for you," he says and rubs his stubbled cheek against Dean’s knee.

Dean thinks he might be already ruined for anyone else, but he fortunately manages to keep these words for himself.

Cas pushes Dean’s knees further up. Dean has to steady his breathing when he basically feels Cas’ stare on his hole.

Cas runs the pad of his thumb over the puckered flesh making Dean shiver.

Cas hums again like he’s deep in thoughts. "You know what? I changed my mind."

Dean gapes at him, terrified. If Cas is going to leave now, he’ll die of embarrassment.

"I want to eat you out."

"What?"

Cas frowns. "Use my mouth, on your hole. I’m pretty sure you’ll like it."

"But... but what about you? Isn’t it like... disgusting?"

Cas huffs out a laugh. "Don’t worry about me. I’m gonna enjoy this just fine." With that, he puts his hands on Dean’s ass cheeks to pull them apart and leans down.

"Cas!" Dean cries when the hot wet tongue drags over his sensitive rim.

Cas hums-a sound that’s starting to drive Dean crazy and licks and sucks. Dean lets go of the headboard to grab onto Cas’ hair tugging slightly. He knows he’s moaning like his life depends on it but he’s unable to stop himself. The sensations are so new and intimate and exciting.

He’s actually a little relieved when Cas stops because he’s started to feel overwhelmed. He looks at Cas who’s looking just slightly less out of breath than Dean feels.

"Good?" Cas asks.

"I’m having a heart attack."

Cas grins at him. "Ready for more?"

Dean nods. It will be a great way to die.

"Lube?" Cas asks.

"The second drawer," Dean says gesturing towards the nightstand. He’s glad he doesn’t have to move.

Cas crawls over him to reach the drawer. When he’s about to pull away, Dean grabs his shoulder. It’s so thick it makes Dean angry.

Cas looks at Dean with surprise but he relaxes when Dean pulls him down for a kiss. The taste is strange, but it’s the idea of where that mouth has been that makes Dean shiver.

"Are you really okay?" Cas asks softly, his lips just a breath away from Deans. "We can stop here for now."

"Don’t you dare," Dean growls. Cas chuckles as he resumes his position between Dean’s legs.

He squeezes out some lube and rubs it between his palms to warm it.

"The angle is different so I’ll be able to push deeper than when you do it yourself."

Dean nods, his abandoned cock twitches at the idea.

"You need to let me know if something feels off. Okay?"

"I will. Just go on before I lose my nerve."

"Okay, try to relax," Cas suggests before brushing his wet fingertips over Dean’s hole. He pushes his index in, just to the first knuckle. Dean focuses on taking deep slow breaths. He squeezes his eyes shut and lets himself be overtaken by the sensation of Cas’ finger pushing deeper. It’s good, it’s familiar until it’s more than Dean’s used to. He moans and clenches his muscles which enhances the feeling of being filled and makes him moan even more.

"You okay?" Cas asks.

"I’m great."

Cas runs his free hand up Dean’s chest under his shirt and pinches his nipple making Dean hiss before he starts to move his finger inside Dean.

"Fuck yes," Dean sighs. He reaches for his cock, but Cas bats his hand away.

"No. Leave it up to me."

"Okay, okay, fine, oh god!" Dean cries out when Cas touches a spot inside him that makes his whole body clench with a shock of pleasure.

"Dean Winchester, let me introduce you to your prostate."

"Fuck!"

"Amazing, isn’t?"

Instead of a reply, Dean sobs into the back of his hand as Cas brushes over his prostate again and again.

"I’m going to add another finger," Cas informs and takes Dean’s incoherent sound as an affirmative.

Dean bites his lip and groans at the stretch and burn.

"Relax, babe, I’ve got you."

Dean opens his eyes. The utter focus with which Cas is looking at him is beautiful. His free hand is moving over Dean’s thigh in a soothing gesture. Dean wonders if anyone ever cared for his pleasure and comfort this much. He feels his body opening for Cas, letting him in and he’s rewarded by a feeling of fullness.

"God, Dean, you’re so beautiful," Cas says as he fucks Dean steadily. "I wish you could see yourself as I do right now. Loving my fingers up your ass. Your hole stretched around them, your cock leaking, your face... fuck Dean, it’s better than I imagined."

"You...you did?"

"Yeah. This and much more. You on your knees sucking my cock, you bend over the kitchen table, you in my lap."

Dean’s trembling, his body feels like a livewire, his climax is closing in.

"Cas, please," he moans.

Moving his hand faster, pushing it deeper and harder, Cas leans down and wraps his lips around Dean’s cock.

And Dean loses it. He thinks he might have shouted a somewhat coherent warning before his vision blacks out and he’s coming harder than ever. His body spasms so hard hi arches his back off the bad and kicks his legs out.

He opens his eyes, gasping for breath, his heart hammering against his breastbone.

Cas is grinning down at him. He has his boxers down to his knees and his hard cock in his hand.

It seems he didn’t pull back fast enough because there’s a speck of come on his chin.

Without thinking, Dean grabs the back of his head and pulls him down. Cas collapses on top of him with a huff and freezes a little when Dean licks his own jizz off his face.

Then they are kissing. Dirty and wet. Dean grabs Cas’ ass when he starts to rock his hips dragging his cock through the hot sticky mess on Dean’s stomach.

It feels so amazing Dean would come again if it was physically possible.

Cas moans Dean’s name when his orgasm hits and Dean holds him tight against his chest as Cas rides it.

 They take a few long minutes to just bask in the afterglow. Then Cas pushes himself up and uses the kleenex on Dean’s nightstand to clean them up.

Cas suddenly seems very silent, the confidence with which he took Dean apart is gone. He pulls his boxers up and sits on the edge of the bed. Dean reaches for his arm.

"Are you gonna stay?"

Cas actually flinches at Dean’s words sending a pang of panic through Dean’s chest.

"I don’t think it’s a good idea," he says not looking Dean in the face.

It takes Dean a moment to find his breath. "Why?"

Cas finally turns to him. There’s a deep crease between his brows, his eyes sre sad. "Because there’s a good chance you’ll wake up in the morning and regret what we’ve done."

Dean mirrors his frown. "I don’t think so. And even if, we’re friends, we can figure it out."

Cas’ lips curl up but it lacks mirth. "Friends with benefits?"

"I don’t know. Maybe. If that’s what you want. Maybe something else."

Cas raises an eyebrow.

"Like boyfriends maybe?"

A sharp feeling like a bolt of lightning runs down Dean’s spine. He realizes it’s equal parts anxiety and excitement.

"You’d want that?" his voice sounds weak to his own ears.

"It’s what I dreamed of the most."

Dean huffs out the breath that he was holding. He tugs at Cas’ arm and Cas lies down next to him.

"Truth or dare?" Dean asks.

Cas’ eyes darken. "Dare."

"Be my boyfriend."

[flamehairedwritings]

Cups

Characters: Chief Jim Hopper x Female Reader

Words: 1,661

Rating: M, 16+ ONLY

A/N: Hello! Welcome to Christmas Drabbles 2018! For the next seven days I’ll be posting a drabble every dang day with a festive theme. I hope you enjoy and happy holidays!

Summary: Based on the prompt ‘Character A and Character B, sworn enemies, are chosen to prepare the company Christmas Party’, by @alloftheprompts

MASTERLIST

CHRISTMAS DRABBLES 2018 MASTERLIST

Please don’t copy, steal or repost my work; credit does not count.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Oh, here we go.

“Excuse me?”

Arching an eyebrow, you place your hands on your hips as you turn to the source of the gruff voice.

Chief Jim Hopper looks at you incredulously, his hands also on his hips.

“What. The hell. Are you doing?” he repeats in that slow way that immediately makes you feel like a complete idiot.

Clenching your jaw, you raise your eyebrows. “What does it look like, Chief Hopper?”

“It looks like you’re hangin’ tinsel on the holding cells.”

“Oh, so your eyes do work.”

You turn back to your task, a hint of a smug smirk on your lips as you hear him exhale a long breath. You were always able to push your luck because what could he do? Fire you? Yeah, well, maybe, but on what grounds? Stating the truth?

Just try me, Hopper.

You were always just that little step ahead, and he hated it.

“You can’t hang tinsel on the holding cells.”

“Do please tell me why.”

You can practically hear his teeth grinding together. “That’s where we keep suspected or confirmed criminals. We can’t have it lookin’... Jolly.”

“Yes, we can.” You finish sticking two ends of tinsel together and step down from the chair.

And you leave your response at that.

Turning away from him, you move back to the box of decorations, rummaging through it for the multi-coloured lights you’d seen and fallen in love with earlier. Finding them, horrendously tangled, you thrust them in Hopper’s direction, not looking at him.

“Do something useful and untangle these.”

You hear that deep, irritating sigh of exasperation as he takes them and sits down heavily in the nearest chair, getting to work as he mutters under his breath.

If only he’d known Flo had also picked you to decorate the Station. He would have stayed right the hell away. Maybe even gone across to another state. Taken a whole damn week off so he didn’t have to see or think about you.

What he wouldn’t give for one day of relief.

“Come on, honey, come and dance.”

Smiling widely at Flo, you shake your head, your bell earrings tinkling with the motion. “No, I’m all right, thank you, Flo. Maybe after I’ve had a few more of these.” You raise your cup a little. “Then I’ll be able to dance like, oh, what did our delightful chief call it last year... A newborn foal with roller-skates on.” 

Flo tuts as she moves closer to your side. “Like he can dance any better. Oh, no, I mean, you are a good dancer, honey,” she swiftly continues when you arch an eyebrow. “Oh, you know what I mean. Oh, if only you two would get along, you have so much in common.”

You snort, raising your cup to your lips. “Yeah, well, he should apologise.”

“Can’t you just let it go and shake hands?”

“I’m not that big a person, Flo.”

It had been three years since you’d started. Three years since The Incident. Since... Since he’d... What had he said again... Urgh, you can’t remember the specifics but it was something incredibly patronising and you hadn’t just let it slide and it had snowballed from there and here you are today.

Staring across the office floor at him.

Your skin prickling in that way it always does when he’s near.

Your heart beating just that little bit faster.

Unable to stop staring at him.

“‘nother beer, Chief?”

Hopper lifts his gaze from his nearly empty bottle to the one Powell holds out to him.

“Yeah, thanks.” Setting the one in his hand down on the table, he accepts the fresh bottle, raising it to his lips for a sip. 

Powell stands at his side, gazing out at the cramped dance floor you had somehow made the space for, desks and chairs shoved aside.

“Hey, didn’t she wear that dress at the Thanksgiving party?”

Calvin Powell looks to his chief, then to you, then back to Hopper. “Yeah, I think so. Why?”

“Dunno, just...” Hopper shrugs, lifting the bottle to his lips again as he mumbles, “Make an effort, you know.”

Powell raises his eyebrows. “Says the guy who wears the same shirt to everything.”

“Yeah, but, you know... Women,” Hop finishes weakly, wincing slightly in instant regret.

Powell’s eyebrows rise even higher. “’Women’?”

Apparently relenting to the fact he has to commit to the words that somehow came out of his mouth, Hopper clears his throat and shrugs. “Yeah... Women.”

His officer stares at him. “Uh-huh. Women... Mystifying, aren’t they?”

“Mhm.”

“Annoying when you can’t figure ‘em out, isn’t it?” He watches Hopper stare at you, watching you converse with Flo.

“Mhm.”

“And it’s even more annoying when you wanna go over there, ask ‘em if you can get ‘em a drink and apologise for being a damn idiot all the time.”

“Mhm─” Hopper’s gaze flicks over to him, his eyes narrowing.

Powell shrugs.

Clearing his throat, Hopper opens his mouth, to say what he has no God damn clue, when his eyes find their way back to you and you’re heading into his office.

“What in the hell...” he mutters, irritation swiftly rising within him as he sets his bottle down and strides after you, leaving Powell staring after him.

“How can we have run out of cups already? Hopper was meant─ Well, there we go actually, Hopper was in charge, that’s how we have.” Exhaling a short breath of frustration, you then smile at Flo and pat her shoulder gently as you pass. “I’m gonna go and get some cups.”

Placing your cup down on the nearest desk, you round it and push through the small swing door leading to Hopper’s office. Opening the door, you head inside, not bothering to turn the light on.

Hopper being Hopper, he’d vehemently opposed you using his office as a decoration base but you’d ignored him and stored boxes in there when he hadn’t been looking. Which had actually been easy to do because he never looked. Not that you minded. One bit.

Surveying the array of boxes, you try and remember which ones the cups were in.

Oh, God, where the hell has he put them...

“What are you doing?”

You exhale a low, exasperated sound, opening the nearest box and starting to search through it. “Getting more cups, officer.”

“Did you not put enough out?”

“The drinks table was your jurisdiction, Hopper, it’s the only thing you got excited about. The most excited I’ve ever seen you, actually, I didn’t know it was possible.”

“I get excited about things.”

“Yeah, like what?”

“Knowing you’re not gonna be in.”

You snort.

Wait, what.

You hadn’t been able to help it. You’d snorted. And not a dismissive snort. An amused snort.

And neither of you know what to do.

So you both ignore it.

Clearing your throat and mercifully finding the cups, you pull them out, turn and move to the door, pushing the wrapped stack into Hopper’s hands as you pass him.

You’re so close to the door, so close to freedom and pretending that never happened, when Callahan appears in the doorway.

“Oh, shiiit, look who’s under the mistletoe!” he grins, dangling the fake arrangement above your head.

“Oh, God, never, Phil,” you reply, incredibly grateful for the distraction and trying so hard not to smile.

“Nah, c’mon, you two.”

“‘You tw─”

In taking a step back from Callahan, you meet a hard wall behind you. 

Not a wall.

A Hopper.

The Chief clears his throat. “No, Callahan.”

“Come on, just a lil’ peck.”

“Calla─”

“Smooch, smooch.”

“Phil─“

He raises the mistletoe higher. “I won’t let you pass and I reckon I could take you both on. Get in to the Christmas spirit, guys, c’mon.”

“Christ, fine,” you mutter.

You tilt your head back and lift your chin to kiss Hopper on the cheek to just get this over with... but he’s turned his head, too. 

Your lips meet his.

Gently.

Gently? 

God, you thought kissing Hopper would be uncoordinated, he’s a complete mess of a man, frankly, but this is... This is nice, no, wait, anyway, you don’t spend a lot of time thinking about kissing him so─

Your lips are still against his. You haven’t pulled back. And neither has he.

He seems to realise it the same moment you do.

Drawing your head back so quickly you almost strain a muscle, you stare at him as he stares at you.

Even Callahan goes quiet for once.

For a few seconds.

“Okay, who’s next!” he calls out as he turns and zones in on the next victim.

You and Hopper are still looking at each other.

Your cheeks feel warm and his mouth is open, like he’s fighting for something to say.

He finds it. “Right.”

“Right.”

“Okay.”

You want to kiss him again.

Oh, God.

Clearing your throat, you nod and turn away, start walking, pause in the doorway, and then clear your throat again.

“Put the cups on the table, Hopper.”

“Yep.”

Lifting your gaze, you find him still looking at you.

Oh, God.

“Okay, so I’ll─”

“Actually...”

You blink, slightly startled that he’s interrupted your attempt to leave this situation he should no doubt be also finding awkward. 

There’s something in his eyes, though, something that you can’t look away from.

“... I remember tellin’ you you couldn’t put all this shit in here.” He drops the stack of cups into a box beside him as he moves towards you, and you don’t move.

Standing before you, looking down at you, he reaches behind you and pushes the door shut.

Suddenly, pressed against him, your head leaning back against the door, you can name what’s lingering in his gaze.

Lust.

And you know he can see it in your eyes, too.

“What are you going to do about it, Chief?”

“Somethin’ I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged or removed in my future work!

Tagged: @persephone-divine, @billyrussosbutt, @davidkharboursex, @jobean12-blog, @warmbeardsandredwine, @mademoiselle-black, @scrunchinn, @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash, @divadinag, @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan, @deepsouth, @neganslittlebae, @ashphoenix105, @alahmorah, @daughterofthebrowncoats, @letsby, @tbkc, @kiwiphroot, @ashmely, @sistasarah-sallysaidso, @unicornsandgliiitter, @lucifer-in-leather, @fearandloathing-in-missouri, @heyjudeinthesky, @sleepylunarwolf, @ambeazyyy, @countryfire22, @sithlordslut, @mondsafari, @thejealousorchard, @norcula, @earinafae, @beltzboys2015-blog, @jinxiejenna, @justsimplevicky, @hellosupernaturaldoctor, @ginasellsbooks, @dwarvenbunnyears, @vale0413, @mrslydiaholden, @kimberliinabox, @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly, @allylupin, @cant-shake-this-feeling-off, @the-bitch-gotham-deserves, @warriorqueen1991, @thesurestthing, @zuni21798,  @quietlovelovely, @maddieisaboredable, @windinyoursnail, @happy-hopper, @yedi16, @negansdirtygirl22, @slipperywhenwetsstuff, @crushed-pink-petals, @madkskillz

[crystalninjaphoenix]

One Short Day

A JSE Fanfic

Yay, I wrote something that isn’t connected to pain for once in my life! Or at least, the most you get are hints and maybe a moment. I was planning on working on something else, but...I don’t know, I just felt like I needed something softer, and I’m sure there are people who need that too. So behold, an attempt at mostly-fluff! I just wanted to write the boys having fun out on the town, simple enough ^-^

It was rare that there was a full day they could all be together. A day where Schneep wasn’t working, Chase wasn’t recording, Marvin didn’t have a show, and Jackie didn’t have to bolt off at the last minute to do heroic vigilantism. A day where they could just do whatever they wanted, all of them, together.

They met up at Jackie’s apartment building. Naturally, JJ arrived first, then Schneep and Chase at about the same time. Just when they were starting to get worried, Marvin showed up, sprinting up to the group and skidding to a halt beside them.

“Late again, I see?” Jackie said when Marvin finally caught his breath. “Maybe we should just tell you we’re meeting thirty minutes earlier than we actually are.”

“Gimme a break.” Marvin rolled his eyes. “My phone was out of battery so I couldn’t check the time, then I got distracted.”

Jackie raised an eyebrow. “With what?”

“Um...” Marvin looked away, embarrassed. “I may have started playing Plague Inc...for an hour...or more.”

“Dude. Set a timer next time or something,” Chase said. “Ask JJ if you can borrow one of his watches if you have to, I dunno, anything.”

“Enough of this, we are wasting minutes,” Schneep said, checking his own watch. “Jackie decided what to do, what is it?”

Jackie immediately brightened. “Okay, so, we all know JJ hasn’t seen much of the town.” Everyone nodded. “So I thought we could give him the grand tour! Get lunch, go to the park, and I think the fair is open tonight so we can finish with that. That good with everyone?”

“So we’re just gonna walk all over town?” Chase asked. “Only two of us can drive, and none of us have a car right now.”

“Toughen up, Chase, walking’s good for you!” Marvin teased. “Right? Schneep, you’re a doctor, tell him I’m right.”

“He’s right,” Schneep said.

“See?!”

JJ snapped his fingers for attention. I thought we were wasting time? I certainly can’t lead the way, so I’ll ask one of you to.

“Right!” Jackie started off. “C’mon guys, lunch is waiting for us!”

They ended up at a local restaurant near the center of town called Kassie’s. It was a quaint little place, and since it was a warm day they decided to sit at a table outside. The chipper waitress gave them a plate of free fries, then took their order, and headed back inside.

“Is it just me, or is it kind of hot today?” Chase asked, fanning himself with some of the napkins.

“No, it’s not just you. God, I’m dying,” Jackie agreed.

“Jackie, you are not only wearing long sleeves, you are wearing two layers of them,” Schneep pointed out with a smile.

“Oh, you’re one to talk, Mr. Sweater-all-the-time!” Jackie rolled his eyes. “What about Jays? He’s got that vest/dress shirt on.”

JJ looked aghast. You four can run around and show your arms all you like, but I’ll have you know it isn’t proper for a gentleman!

“Are you implying we aren’t gentlemen?” Marvin asked, right before tossing a fry into the air and catching it in his mouth.

JJ raised an eyebrow. Indeed.

“I don’t care, it’s hot. I’m taking this off.” With a few flailing arms, Jackie pulled his hoodie over his head and tugged it off, revealing a Marvel-themed T-shirt underneath. “Ah. That’s better.” He looked around to see the others staring at him with wide eyes. “What?”

“Holy shit, Jackie!” Chase yelled. “Your arm!”

“Wh—oh fuck I forgot I was wearing short sleeves today.” Jackie looked down at his left arm. “Yeah, okay, I got scars, you can look all you want.”

“So that’s why I’ve never seen you in T-shirts,” Marvin realized. “Jackie, what the fuck happened?”

Jackie frowned, then coughed awkwardly. “Y’know...I’d rather not talk about it right now. Maybe later. Besides, Schneep already knows the story. ‘S how we met.”

“Honestly, you three are making mountains out of mole hills,” Schneep said. “Is fine now. You should see his torso, now those are scars.”

That only made the other three look more worried. Jackie sighed. “Look, guys, we’re having a fun day. We’re gonna have fun, and not gonna get all concerned, though I do appreciate it. And you—” he glared at Schneep “—need to stop saying that, ‘cause it makes it sound like I lost some epic battle instead of just having top surgery.”

Chase and Marvin relaxed in unison. “I’m still convinced you have, I dunno, fucking bullet scars or something,” Marvin muttered as Chase pulled the remains of the fries towards him.

“Oh yeah, but Schneep’s talking about the surgery. He’s done this before, and it’s no longer funny!” Jackie looked pointedly at Schneep when saying that last part, who just responded with a massive grin.

JJ was the only one who still looked concerned, but now that was paired with confusion. He looked around at the others. What is top surgery?

You could almost hear the hiss as the others all inhaled sharply in unison. They’d all forgotten for a moment that JJ didn’t know. Schneep cleared his throat. “Jackie, would you like to explain?”

“Right yeah. God, where do I start with this?” There was a slight pause in the conversation as the waitress returned with their food. The moment she was out of earshot, Jackie started up again. “Alright, so...” he leaned forward, hands clasped together, eyes wide and nervous. “You know how I call myself Jackieboy Man, right?”

JJ nodded. A moniker I never understood, but yes.

“Well, I didn’t always call myself that. Neither did anyone else. Because, well, they all thought that...I was a, uh, girl. Even I did. For the longest time I just sort of...accepted it. I only started to figure it out in high school. I got my first job, and one of the customers called me ‘that nice lady,’ and hearing it...just sort of surprised me. Like someone gave the wrong answer to a really easy test question. So...I started thinking, and eventually I realized that I wasn’t...actually a girl. That was when I renamed myself.”

JJ didn’t look any less confused. Why would they not understand that? Wouldn’t they be able to...see that you are not?

Jackie winced. “Well, no...you see, I...fuck.” Jackie put his head in his hands, took a deep breath, then looked up again. “I was born...in the wrong body. Top surgery is...it’s to get rid of the parts I didn’t want. Are you...are you getting this now?”

After a moment, JJ’s eyes widened. He nodded hesitantly.

“Okay. Good. Great.” Jackie sighed. “I don’t know if this word existed in the twenties, but nowadays we have ‘transgender’ as...a thing. When someone is something other than what their body is born as. I’m still a he. Or, just, anything but she, really. Literally call me anything but a girl. And please, don’t ask about what my name was before. Or what’s...down there. Those questions make me...really uncomfortable.”

My good man! JJ signed. Why would I do such a rude thing? And to my dear friend, nonetheless. 

Jackie’s shoulders slumped. He leaned back in his chair and exhaled in relief. He’d been dreading this conversation, but better to rip the bandaid off now. “Thanks, man. I...appreciate your understanding.”

JJ smiled. No trouble at all, Jackie! I may not fully grasp the concept, but that’s no reason to disrespect your wishes.

“If you want, I can answer questions. Just...later. And as long as you get I don’t represent everyone who’s trans.”

JJ nodded and gave a thumbs-up. There was silence for a moment, before Chase broke it by saying “Hey, guys, I made a Jenga tower out of fries.”

Schneep rolled his eyes, and immediately knocked over Chase’s tower.

“Aw you bitch!” Chase gasped. “You didn’t even play the game right!”

“Fuck your games. Actually eat the food like it’s supposed to be.”

“You’re just jealous cause you got a salad instead.”

“Maybe I am! Did you think of that?!”

“Dude, I just said I did!”

The rest of lunch was covered in the blanket of familiar banter. Jackie smiled to himself. God, he was so glad nothing changed.

About two hours later, the boys had made their way to the southern part of the city. That was where the park was. It had an official name, but everyone just called it “the park” because there was only one of them and it was shorter. The park itself was pretty big, with trees, paths, flowerbeds, and two playgrounds at either end.

Since it was the middle of the afternoon, there were quite a few families with young children hanging around, parents watching their kids climb all over the jungle gyms and pushing them on the swings. While Marvin and Jackie walked ahead, pulling JJ with them and talking his ears off, Chase and Schneep hung back a bit. Chase was staring at the families on the playground.

“Chase? Are you okay?” Schneep asked gently. 

“Yeah...yeah, I’m fine. It’s not a down day.” Schneep gave him a Look. “No, really! It’s just...y’know, seeing all the kids kinda bums me out. You know?”

“Of course I do, Chase,” Schneep said. He was probably the only one of the boys who did. “If you are feeling upset, you can go home.”

“No! God, no, that’s not what I meant at all. This has been good so far. I don’t want it to end.” Chase frowned. “Now I’m just...man. I’m starting to lose it.”

“Chase.” Schneep grabbed his hand. “If you are not enjoying yourself, we can always go do something more quiet. We would hate to push you to do something you are not up to.”

Chase considered it for a moment, then shook his head. “Nah, it’s not too bad. It helps that you guys are here, I think. But I’ll let you know...if it gets too much.”

Schneep gave him a long look, before finally judging that everything was alright. “Okay. You have to do that, or I am going to break into your home at night and yell at you for lying.”

“Okay, okay, I get the idea,” Chase laughed. He looked down at their clasped hands. “You’re not worried people are gonna think we’re a couple, then?”

“What? Oh. Is there no such thing as regular hand-holding in this country?! Besides, it should not fucking matter. Also you are not my type anyway.”

“Yeah, you’re not mine, either. You’re a guy.” Chase and Schneep both had a good laugh at that.

Marvin looked over his shoulder at the two of them. “Are you two gonna walk fast or what?”

“Or what,” Chase said with a smirk.

“Oh, you’re hilarious. A fucking comedic genius. Hey guys!” he said that last part to Jackie and JJ. “We’re gonna slow down so these two assholes can join us.”

“Marvin, how dare you,” Schneep said, mock-offended. “At least be more creative in your insulting us.”

“No.” The two mini-groups merged together to form the main group once again. “So what’re you two talking about?”

“Chase is worried that hand-holding makes a couple,” Schneep tattled.

“Bullshit,” Marvin stated. Jackie went “yeah!” in the background. JJ frowned at the use of language, but nodded. “What makes a couple is the kissing. And romantic interest in each other, which leads to the former.”

“You say, having not been on a date in at least five months,” Jackie muttered.

“Shut your stupid face, you...lovely person.” Marvin pulled his wand out of his pocket and twirled it, like he did when he was nervous. “We’ve all been kinda busy lately.”

“Yeah...that’s true,” Jackie sighed. “But maybe if you went out more, you could find someone you could go out with. Just once, if a commitment isn’t your thing right now.”

Marvin frowned. “Why in the wide world of wingmen would I go on a date once deliberately?”

“A night of fun?” Schneep suggested.

“With a complete stranger that I have no interest in? No. I need to have some intrigue in whoever they end up being.”

“None of you are gonna get anywhere with him,” Chase said. “He doesn’t get one-night stands.”

“Damn right I don’t! There’s no point!”

And it just seems improper, JJ signed. If you aren’t going to court someone, don’t approach them at all.

“Marvin! You have an ally!” Jackie gasped. 

“Good. Finally, someone who agrees with me.” Marvin held up his hand and, after a moment of figuring out, JJ high-fived it. “Yeah! There we go, you got it!”

Jackie checked the time on his phone. “Alright, it’s starting to get a bit late. If we want to get enough time at the fair, we’re gonna have to book it to the eastern side.”

They didn’t actually run the whole way there, despite Jackie wanting to. By the time they got to the fair the sun was starting to set. They bought tickets and headed inside, where the Ferris wheel and the roller coaster towered over the smaller rides and the carnival games. It was a weekday, but it was one of the first days the fair was open, so the fairgrounds were crowded but not packed.

Chase gasped. “Games. We can do the games first.”

You do realized they’re all rigged, right? JJ asked.

“Who cares? They’re fun! Games now.”

Soon, the others started to suspect that the reason Chase was so eager to play games was because he knew he would win every time. The dude was scarily good. A combination of sheer luck, skill, and fuck-it-let’s-take-a-chance-ness led to many more victories than the others, something Marvin and Schneep immediately called him out for.

“You are cheating, I am sure of it!” Schneep huffed, folding his arms.

“Nah, just have a knack for it. And, in this case, practice.” Chase tossed one of the wooden balls back and forth while he waited for the carnival worker to hand him his prize. “Ya gotta aim for a bit above the spot where the third jug sits on top of the other two, then throw hard. It’s a bit of an arc.”

“No, you’re a cheater,” Marvin asserted, muttering darkly.

“Aw, c’mon! Here, will this make you less salty?” Chase accepted his stuffed prize from the worker, then handed it right over to Marvin. “I got it for you! You like cats.”

Marvin glared down at the plushie. “You’re lucky it has a cute face,” he said.

“See?!” Chase smiled. He was actually having a good time. It was a good change of pace from the park.

Eventually, everyone had a prize except for JJ. They were running out of games to play, but then Jackie spotted one of those ‘find the ball under the shuffling cups.’ “Hey guys, you up for that one?”

JJ brightened. I’m actually quite skilled at those!

“Well, then, let’s go!” Jackie pulled him over, the others in tow.

The carnival worker was calling out the rules of the game. “You get one, you win one of these lovely roses, you get two in a row, you win one of these tiny fellows here, and you get three in a row, you win one of these adorable penguins! Step right up, step right up!”

“Hey!” Jackie waved to get the worker’s attention. “We want to play!”

“Well then, young sirs, the rules are simple. Keep your eye on the ball, see right here, right here, it’s under the middle cup. Now watch as I take the cup this way, then that, then this and oh look at that! It’s goin’ fast, it’s goin’ fast don’t lose it don’t lose it! Now, which one is the ball under?”

Jackie was fairly sure he knew where it was, but he turned to JJ anyway. “So, which one?” he asked.

JJ bit his lip, then reached forward to point at one of the cups...only for the worker to slap his hand away. “I’m sorry sir, please don’t touch the cups. To prevent tamperin’, see? Just tell me.”

JJ looked a bit stunned at the worker’s aggressive tone. But he signed It’s under the left one.

“Excuse me?”

“He says it’s under the left one,” Marvin jumped in.

“...ah, I see.” The worker lifted up the cup to reveal the ball. “Seems you were right. Do you want to try again?”

The boys glanced uneasily between each other. The worker’s tone had dropped from the polite-carnival talk to one that was a bit...short. She was also talking much slower than she was before, drawing out the vowel sounds. “He can hear you perfectly fine,” Chase said. “He just can’t talk.”

“Mmm...I see...” The worker pursed her lips. “Do you want to try again?”

They all nodded. The worker was silent this time as she shuffled the cups, faster than before. When she stopped, she looked at Jackie. “Which one is the ball under?”

Jackie had a vague idea where, but he wasn’t sure. “JJ, do you know?”

The left one again, JJ signed, less enthusiastically.

“The left,” Jackie translated.

The worker frowned as she revealed the ball under the left cup. “You boys aren’t cheating, are you? Those weird gestures seem like symbols.”

Marvin laughed bitterly. “Yeah, they’re symbols alright. They stand for words. Do you not know how sign language fucking works? He’s telling us the answers ‘cause he’s the best one at it. Now let’s do this one more time.”

The worker shuffled the cups impossibly fast. Once more, she asked Jackie where the ball was. This time, he had no idea, and just looked at JJ. JJ, in turn, stiffened a bit, eyes hardening. It’s under the right one, though I wouldn’t put it past her to sneak it up her sleeve.

“Right,” all the boys said in unison.

The worker reluctantly lifted up the rightmost cup to show the ball sitting underneath. “Congratulations,” she said dully. “You win one of the big prizes. What color do you want?”

Turquoise, JJ signed. “Turquoise,” Jackie translated.

They walked away from the booth in silence. After a few moments of walking, Marvin said, “I could totally put a curse on her.”

“No,” Jackie said firmly.

“Just one little spell. She can lose her voice for a week.”

JJ shook his head, then tucked his prize under his arm so he could use his hands to sign. Revenge is never the best answer. 

“It’s what she deserves!” Marvin snarled. “She was making that difficult on purpose. I saw her, she was going much slower with the customers before us. JJ, I’m so absolutely sorry on her behalf, cause god knows she’s not gonna fucking apologize.”

It’s okay, JJ insisted. Believe it or not, I’ve faced worse, especially in my day. They were much less friendly back then.

“I am sure you are not using that word in the correct meaning,” Schneep mumbled.

Marvin shoved his hand into the pocket containing his wand. “One hex. Come on. Just one. I won’t even make her ears fall off or anything.”

Everyone refused to let Marvin curse the carnival worker, and he reluctantly relented. At this point, they’d finished with the games, and all that was left were the rides. They took turns, one or two of them sitting out to watch the accumulated prizes while the others spun and flew and then stumbled off the rides. After trying most of the rides out, they took a snack break for ice cream and cotton candy.

“I think the Ferris wheel is the only one left,” Jackie said. “Unless we want to catch that sideshow thing. There’s supposed to be magicians—”

“Fake,” Marvin interrupted.

“—clowns, animals, and they advertised a knife-thrower—”

Schneep nearly choked on his ice cream. “No.”

“Okay, got it. No show then.” Jackie nodded. “But I’m not too sure about the Ferris wheel. I know at least one of us is afraid of heights.”

“Yeah, uh, me.” Chase bit his lip. “But I think I’ll be fine if I don’t look over the edge. Unless someone else doesn’t want to go on it, then I’ll stay off with them.”

“I’m good,” Jackie said. “Schneep? Marv? Either of you scared of heights?” Both of them shook their heads. “Alright. JJ?”

JJ signed, A bit, but after all these dizzy rides, I’ll take something calm like the Ferris wheel, if you please.

“Alright. Guess we’re going on the wheel, then!”

Night had truly fallen by this point. The Ferris wheel wasn’t exceptionally tall, but it still rose above everything else in the fair, providing a fantastic view of the colored lights below. Instead of having the traditional two-person seats, this wheel had booths that could fit up to eight people, so all the boys fit into one just fine. The wheel turned, and the booth turned with it. Chase squirmed, resolutely not looking over the side. Jackie and Marvin did the exact opposite, practically leaning out of the booth to look down below.

JJ tapped Schneep, signing something real quick. Schneep nodded, then yelled “Can you two stop that?! You are going to fall out of the fucking side, and you are making Jamie nervous.”

“Oh, sorry.” Jackie sat back down.

“Aww,” Marvin groaned, but pulled back into his seat. “I hope you know I do this for you, JJ.”

JJ smiled. Thank you, it’s appreciated. And I’m sure your body feels the same way, having narrowly avoided a fall to great injury.

“Nah, I would’ve been fine.”

The wheel stopped. Their booth was right at the top. “Oh, fuck,” Chase muttered, covering his eyes with his hands.

“You know, you didn’t have to come,” Jackie said quietly. “We would’ve been alright letting you stay down on the ground.”

Chase peeked between his hands. “I know. But...it’s really nice up here. Quiet. And with just you guys. As long as I ignore the distance from the ground, I’m good. You’re my friends, you know, and you make everything better.”

“Oh, Chase,” Marvin gasped. “That’s...really sweet!”

“What? Didn’t think we where friends?”

“It’s...always nice to be reminded.” Marvin smiled softly.

Well then consider this your reminder, Marvin! JJ wiggled his mustache happily. I consider you all my friends, maybe even family. You are all wonderful people and I love having you in my life!

“Nooo, stop.” It was hard to see in the dark, only lit up by the lightbulbs on the Ferris wheel, but it was possible that Marvin was actually blushing.

“You know what? I love you guys.” Jackie grinned. “Not afraid to admit it! Best friends I’ve ever had.”

Schneep cleared his throat. “Yes, I feel the same. You are all great people, and I am fortunate to have met you. I...love you as well.”

“Aaaahck!” Marvin appeared to be trying to fold into himself. “Too much love! Fatality!”

Chase chuckled. “Marvin! Accept our love!”

We love you, Marvin! JJ signed eagerly. Now you have to say it back!

Marvin made a strange sort of groaning exhale before inhaling deeply, calming down. “Yeah...I—I love you guys too. God, I love you guys so much. You should all know that.”

“There we go!” Jackie said, triumphant. “Marvin, you are, truly, the emotionally constipated one. And I thought Schneep was the worst.”

“Excuse me?!” Schneep gasped. “I assure you I am very love-sharing. I just do not use words too much because they are complicated.”

“Understandable,” Chase shrugged. “I can barely speak half the time, and I was born in English.”

I thought you were born in Ireland, JJ signed, amused.

“Oh, you know what I mean!”

The Ferris wheel started lowering, stopping and starting as it let passengers off. The boys stepped out of the booth and onto land once again.

JJ yawned. I must say that I’m rather tired after all this. I think it’s time we go home.

“Yeah, I’m starting to feel it,” Jackie agreed.

“You all are weak!” Marvin countered. “I’m good for another couple hours.”

“Watch you crash immediately upon entering your room,” Chase laughed.

“Oh, shut up.”

“I think JJ is right,” Jackie said. “It’s time to go home.”

Schneep nodded. “Yes, I could stay up longer, but I have morning shift tomorrow so I should not push my luck. I will see you all later?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Course, dude!”

“Definitely.”

Count on it!

With that, they left the fair. Eventually they split up, each heading their own separate ways until they eventually got to wherever they were staying that night. Some went to sleep immediately, some stayed up a bit later, but eventually they all went to bed.

And when they decided to do it, none of them had trouble for once.

[kathillards]

rangerstop day two

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE MEGAFORCE RANGERS SHOUTED US OUT AT THEIR PANEL AZIM TOLD EVERYONE ABOUT A GROUP OF FRIENDS FROM ALL OVER THE COUNTRY WHO MET BECAUSE OF POWER RANGERS AND POINTED AT US AND THE MEGAFORCE RANGERS ALL CHEERED AND TOLD US TO STAND UP OH MY GOD

uhhh sorry how do i move on from that how do i even think about anything else. the panel room was CROWDED people were FILMING kat and tabby had gone up to ask questions (which were HUGE hits) and come back and sat down AND THEN AZIM SAID THAT in the middle of a question about. i dont even fucking remember. something about what great community values power rangers has or something? and i guess we were related to power rangers being a community or whatever but bitch. BITCH. he said it and like pointed at us and they all started clapping (this sounds fake as hell i know BUT THERES VIDEO PROOF SOMEWHERE???) and everyone turned to look at us and we were like hi and then like two minutes later azim went “oh wait i have to make a correction, its not a group of girls its three girls and one guy because i think abigail isnt here? right?” and we were like ya so uh moral of the story... azim rizk i would murder ten hundred men for you

ok other things happened too, this will probably not be in chronological order bc i cant think right now 

- mike ginn stopped when he saw me and looked for tabby who was hiding behind me when she saw him and he looked around for tabby and did his pointing thing again and it was so cuuute

- kat was talking to christina about how we avoided the cast all day yesterday and she was like “yes but i saw you anyway ;) and i was wondering when you’d come over to say hi!” shes so CUTE and then they talked about her rescue puppy and she was so happy to talk about her puppy

- ciara and christina made ben sign the art presents he gave them, ciara did it first and christina was like OMG WHY DIDNT YOU AUTOGRAPH MINE and made him sign hers too

- christina and i did a WHOLE photoshoot we did a normal pic then a silly pic but then she didnt like so we did a kissy face pic and she was like “oh i think i did a duck face” and im like thats ok so did i AND OUR PICS ARE SO CUTE AND SHE HUGGED ME SO TIGHT I. WOULD. DIE. FOR. YOU. CHRISTINA. MASTERSON.

- selwyn called tabby his girlfriend when i showed up without her he was like “wheres my girlfriend” bc he remembered us from last night and then she came over and he was like THERE YOU ARE and gave her a free selfie (and signed her space dvd with “tj is the real leader of in space” but refused to X out andros’ face bc that was mean) and he covered up najee’s face on her kevin t-shirt and then was upset bc it looked like he was touching her chest and tracy lynn laughed at him over it AND THEN HE TOLD US TO COME TO THE TGIF IN THE HOTEL AFTERWARDS BC THE RANGERS WERE GONNA GO THERE AND GET DRUNK AND HE INVITED US TO HAVE DRINKS W/ HIM but we stood him up because... we are tired... he was like “yeah we have this stupid vip dinner but like we’re gonna try to leave early and just go get fucking smashed” and we were like ur so valid selwyn. i love you.

- kat showed azim my tweets defending megaforce and he had to put the phone down to run his hands through his hair and be like “wow that was such a specific takedown” and kat was like “yeah she just says this shit all the time bc shes seen megaforce five hundred times” and he was like “she was so detailed though she didnt just say ‘you suck’ she put THOUGHT into her takedowns” 

- (later when he signed my super megaforce green print he called me “my sista in social media smackdown!!!” complete with that many exclamation points)

- brennan said “i like your hat” to ben five times and he also signed tabby’s as well with his three catchphrases (she asked for him to write “awesome!” and he was like “i had more lines than that....”) he also told us he and the dino charge team were invited back for a dc/nsteel teamup but they kept cancelling them bc of budget reasons till it was just him and yoshi and he was finally like “i told them to just bring yoshi back because like thats his brother” and i was like “but then they didnt even INTERACT” and he was like “i KNOW”

- tabby’s tracy story: she asked tracy if it was uncomfortable fighting in crop tops and short skirts and tracy said “it wasnt uncomfortable but it was hard to not show everything” and she was like “idk why a power ranger would dress like that” and tabby told her ashley should have her own fashion line of athletic wear for fighter girls and tracy was like YES and tabby said she should have been leader of turbo bc she was into cars and tracy said that when they told her that ashley was gonna have a car plot she was like “ew no i dont want to touch greasy car oils” but that she was happy that ashley got to challenge herself

- kat was standing around azim the entire morning and he was introducing her to everyone who came up to him like she was his handler and at one point accidentally implied that she was his girlfriend and kat was like no im not and he was like “oh whoops it did kinda sound like that...” and his actual handler was like “why did u correct him” and kat was like “NO I LOVE HIS GIRLFRIEND” 

- when i was taking my pics w/ the megaforce cast and andrew was the sweetest angel and he kept making poses over my shoulder while i giggled and then he asked me for a hug and KISSED MY CHEEK and hugged me so tight and was like “love you guys” I WOULD DIE FOR YOU ANDREW GRAY

- john mark is literally the funniest person alive and he was constantly going around the megaforce booth when we were there like (to ben when he was giving art to ciara and christina) “WHERES MINE” and to me when i was having them sign my megaforce prints “WHERES MINE” hes so funny and i love himmm

- ciara was signing my prints but she got distracted when we asked about her dogs and she stopped and opened her phone and started showing us pics and videos and she was soo happy to talk about her dogs too and then we took our pic and checked it to make sure it looked good and tabby was like “you look gorgeous” and she was like “we BOTH look gorgeous” i cannot believe. AND THEN she threw in a group photo for FREE and we all got in there

- kat was telling us and azim about some douchebag vendor who was like hitting on her and inviting her to an afterparty and was like “are you over 21″ when she was just trying to look at his spd toys and azim was literally “which guy. where. where is he.” HE WAS GONNA KILL THAT GUY FOR KAT HE LOVES HER

- we somehow got on the subject of azim SHAVING HIS BEAUTIFUL BEARD and he was like “oh well we went to the make a wish foundation to meet kids and the beard scares them so i had to shave” and i was like “thats racist” and he was like nooo but u could tell his mind was blown and i was like “cameron didnt shave” and he was like “well cameron is white” and i was like SO YOU ADMIT ITS RACIST and he laughed also im correct

- related but michael copon came over to jessica rey’s table while we were there and she was like “hi michael these are my FRIENDS” and they were talking about how they’re cousins and they’re both half filipino and tabby was like “why didnt they give you any scenes together in the teamup!” and jessica was like “because i was with erin!” and michael was like “because they couldnt have two filipinos together in one scene” power rangers got WOKE man

- kat to andrew: i have a huge troy plushie!

andrew: oh my dogs would rip that up immediately

kat:

andrew: do your dogs not rip things up

kat: i dont... i wouldnt let them...touch my troy plushies...

(we love you andrew. he doesnt even know hes at a con. hes just here to chill.)

- someone at the panel asked a stupid question about “if you could cameo in any other season which season would you pick” like they dont get asked this all the fucking time and the rangers were like hmm like beast morphers or dino charge and then andrew, my husband my light my life, was like “fuck power rangers, i wanna go to the dc universe” (he didnt cuss obviously) but like... king. legend supporting legends. AND THEN CHRISTINA WAS LIKE “oh mood i wanna be in the pokemon universe” and john mark was like “as what” and she was like “i dont know i didnt watch it” QUEEN OF POKEMON she kins jigglypuff

- tabby was at ann marie crouch’s booth and telling her how she loved that princess shayla was the wild force team’s mom and she was like aww yeah i felt such a maternal instinct even though that was before i had my actual child!! shes so cute!! shes so pretty!!

- jessica rey is literally SO WONDERFUL AND FUN TO TALK TO we went to hang out bc tabby wanted her wild force dvd signed and she was just telling us her stories of hanging out w/ the other boys and how she went to drink w/ azim just to keep him company (bc peter and yoshi were there and they were like “we dont drink” nerds) so cuuute and then she had that pic of her and peter and yoshi and they’re making stupid faces and she’s smiling like an angel and she’s like THEY DIDNT TELL ME IT WASNT A SERIOUS PHOTO and i asked her jokingly how much for it and she was like take it its $30 and i was like pls charge me more have my money take my soul

- tabby and kat were at the megaforce booths and jessica rey came over and was like “excuse me what are you guys doing with MY GIRLS” and john mark was like “uh they’re OUR GIRLS” and then cameron pulled jessica over and was like “actually this is MY babe” and then she tried to leave bc she was in the way of ppl in line and azim stopped her and was like “no no stay you’re part of our FAMILY”and uh basically the power rangers family is the cutest family in the whole world thank you good night

- taylor swift wrote gorgeous about andrew gray

[itsdmod]

@letalisinsania submitted:

Hey :) I wrote something for you, nothing special. I was inspired by your headcannon with Kingfield in the coffeeshop and came up with this. So, this is for you, hope you like it, take care <3

Claudette yawned, laying her head from side to side, letting her neckbones crack. Dwight hissed „Can you stop that please, you know I hate that sound“ - „Well we actually all hate that sound“ Nea grinned, putting another stack of to-go-cups on the counter. Claudette yawned again, rubbing her eyes before looking back in her biology book. She had been up almost all night studying. Dwight saw the light in her room when he went to the kitchen twice, rumbling around in the fridge, trying to distract himself.He was someone who als always in his thoughts, thinking too much, but lately it got much worse. Not in a bad way though, but if your job requires you to handle coffee brewers, you better focus.

„Hey, the counter is clean enough“ he snapped out, his supervisor Jake pointing at the counter, that Dwight just cleaned for the fifth time. He sighted and put the cloth away. Almost 9am. He really hated this job, but he had to earn money to support himself for college. His parents didn’t do it, and they also didn’t really care if he went to college, or care in general, so he was on his own with that. Dwight hat gotten used to it since he was a kid, that his existence was accepted, but nothing that anyone seemed to enjoy or be exited about. He didn’t learn it any different, so he went along with it. He sighted, 2 more minutes till 9am. Was he unhappy? He couldn’t really answer that question. Sure there were people who had it worse, we wasn’t someone who complains, but he wished he could go out of his head sometimes.

The doorbell jingled, making Dwight leaving his trail of thoughts. He didn’t have to look up; the footsteps became familiar to him over the last few weeks, and even if that person would be floating into the coffeeshop; he would still knew it was him, since Dwight instantly felt the weird combination of his heart racing and his mind calming down.

„Good Morning Dwight“ he looked up. Hearing him say his name made his heart skip a few beats, every single time. „Good Morning David“ he said, and he was sure that his voice was shaking. „Damnit“ Dwight cursed at himself in his head.

„How are you?“ David smiled widely and sweetly. Good now that you are here. Great now that I get to see you. Tired since I usually spend my nights thinking about you. Hugging you. Your lips. Kissing you. Sad because I know you will never think this way about me….

Dwight cleared his throat. „Fine, how about yourself?“ David crooked his head, rubbing trough his hair. „I can’t complain.“ He was still smiling, a smile that could conquer a whole world.

Dwight remembered when David came into the coffeeshop for the first time. How he looked around, hesitant, and Dwight couldn’t take his eyes off him. That guy instantly fascinated him, and it wasn’t for his muscly arms, or that mischievous smile, not even the beautiful, deep eyes that were to die for. No, it was how David made him feel. How he stood there, at the other side of the counter, looking at him, and the carousel in Dwights mind stopped. All his thoughts were washed away. He just felt calm, comfortable..and peacefull. He couldnt stop staring at David and didn’t even mind if someone noticed. If someone talked about it. If someone talked about him at all. Nea tried to take Davids order but Claudette took her arm, talking about problems with the whipped cream, shoving her to the backroom.

David was still smiling at Dwight, didn’t make a move to order or say something. So Dwight just smiled back, feeling lighthearted and lightheaded. If it wouldn’t have been for Jake, who got impatient and forced Dwight to take Davids order, maybe they would still be standing there.

„The same as usual?“ - „Well you know me“ Dwight smiled, letting David pay for the coffee, waiting for Claudette to make it. There was no chance that he would leave the counter, letting this for him precious minutes pass until the order was ready. And Claudette made sure she was slowly. Very slowly.

„You have classes later?“ David asked. In the last weeks they both learned something about the other one every day. It wasn’t much, but Dwight clinged on every second, every word. „Yes, only afternoon classes today, after that, Claudette, Nea and I gonna go watch a movie“ - „Which one?“ David asked. „The new Thor one“ - „Oh thats cool, I wanted to see that one too“ - „Well, you should go see it, I gonna tell you tomorrow how it was.“ Dwight answered and smiled, not seeing Nea, who cleaned up a table, burying her face into her hands and shaking her head. „Order for David is ready“ Jake yelled a tone too loud. Dwight sighted, with Jake being here today, the time talking to David got a lot shortened. „Oh, seems like I have to get going.“ David said but didn’t make a move. „Dwight, there are customers waiting!“ Jake placed the to-go-cup in front of him, before heading to the backroom.

Dwight and David both reached out for the cup, their fingertips touching. It felt like a electric shock for Dwight, he pulled back, trying to cover up his feelings with a smile. David stared at the cup, just a moment too long, as he was about to say something. Then he cleared his throat. „Goodbye, see you tomorrow.“ He headed out, Dwight still looking after him after he was long gone.

„Youre such an idiot!“ Nea blurted out when they were on their way to the movies. „What have I done now?“ Dwight asked, already playing all kinds of scenarios where he could potentially have fucked up in his head.

„David!“ - „David?“ he asked. „Yes!“ She playfully hitted him on his chest „He wanted you to ask him out! He wanted to see the movie with you and youre all like „you should see it I gonna tell you how it was“ man, that was painful to watch. So, you’re an idiot.“ Dwight laughed fakely „If you really think he wants to go out with me, well, then clearly YOU are the idiot.“ She rolled her eyes. „Girl, back me up on this.“ Claudette layed her hand on Dwights shoulder. „Shes right, that guy is totally into you. We both watch this prancing that you two do every day. Just ask him tomorrow if he wants to see the movie with you.“ Dwight sighted „It’s nice of you to say that, but be realistic. A guy like that could never like me. Or love me. I can’t imagine how anyone ever could. Especially not if I like him back.“ Claudette stopped in her tracks „Stop talking yourself down like that, please. How come youre always at ease when hes around, you talk so freely with him, but after he leaves…“ - „I dont feel like going to the movies anymore. I wanna be alone.“ - „Dwight…“ but Dwight just walked away, heading home, leaving Claudette and Nea behind. Unfortunatly, his bad thoughts followed him, all the way home. Into his room.

Dwight layed on his bed staring at the ceiling. He played his meeting with David this morning over and over in his head again. Were the girls right? No it couldnt be. David was just a guy who likes coffee, not him. Who likes a nice conversation in the morning, not him. There was nothing special or interesting about him, no matter how often the girls told him. He rolled on his side, hiding his face in his pillow. Truth was, he wanted David to tell him. He always felt special when he was around him, special to David. But he knew, only because he was feeling like that, didn’t mean this feeling was mutual. He doubted that he was special to David. Or anything at all to him. Dwight laughed to himself. „Maybe I should just ask him to go see the movie with me. Whats the worst that could happen? I could never see him again. Never. And thats why I would never dare…“

When he got up the next morning Dwight felt really bad for ditching the girls like that. Thats not how he usually was, they were his friends, they wanted to help him, and he acted out on them. He wanted to apologize, but Claudette and Nea didn’t even let him finish. „No reason to apologize, we shouldn’t have pushed you like that, all right?“ Claudette smiled and them hugged him. Dwight sighted, that didn’t take away his guild but it made him slidely feel better. They opened the coffeeshop and Dwight found himself staring at the clock, getting more and more impatient each second.

„Calm down man, he will come“ - „Its almost 9:30, he wont come!“ Nea patted his back „He will! And Jake comes in later so dont worry, I will fuck his coffee up many times, you will have all the time in the world to talk to him“ she grinned. Dwights mind was racing. What if someone happened to David? That thought alone made his chest feel so tight that it was hard to breathe. Or what if he grew tired of coming here? What if he decided the good coffee isnt worth an annoying barista? What if he hates me? What if he really wanted me to ask him out..oh god what if he thinks I hate him? But well, what if he hates me?? And I never see him again?? He took of his glasses and a deep breath. He wouldnt have a mental breakdown right here right now. But what if David really hated him? It wouldnt surprise him at all. Maybe it would be for the better if he never came back. After all, Dwight was used to being let down, being alone wasnt make him happy, but at least it was a persistence in his life. „Good Morning Dwight.“ Dwight winced, quickly putting his glasses back on. He blinked. „Everything allright with you?“ Davids deep voice ringed in his ears. He could just nod, smiling, and feeling as reliefed as he never felt before.

David smiled, wearing a button uped shirt with short sleeves and Dwight almost forgot to start breathing again. „Yes, I am, how are you, anything new with you?“ Dwight asked, trying his very best to stop staring at Davids biceps.

„Our coffee brewer has some problems today, it will take some time, sorry“ Nea shouted and well, David didn’t really look disappointed about it.

He leaned a bit forward, propping his arms up on the counter. Dwight was damn sure David could here his heart beating. „How was the movie?“ - „Oh..I didn’t see it, something came up, another time.“ ask him to go with you! Dwight screamed at himself in his head, but he remained silent. David did the same, they just smiled at each other, and it was a comfortable silence. Dwights eyes wandered and he noticed the liontattoo on Davids arm. „Oh, cool!“ he breathed out, and, without thinking or doubting, he ran a finger over the outlines of the tattoo, not even realising he was touching him. „I like it.“ he said, looking up at David and smiling. Davids face was bright red, he pulled back his arm, and Dwight could swear he felt goosebumps on his arm. Then it hit him. He had touched David, and not in a -patting-on-the-shoulder way. Why, whyyyy…he cried out in his head. Why did I do it, where is my hesitation and selfdoubt when I really need it?? Dwight didn’t know how to react, or what to say. If he didn’t fuck it up before, he for sure did now. David didn’t move, he looked like he was glued in place.

Claudette was sitting a few metres away, acting so far like she was glued to her book, but always keeping an eye on Dwight. She saw how they both stood there, helpless, and although it was cute to watch, she wanted to help.

„Could you two help me? I am slowly close to despair. I can’t seem to memorize any of this“ She placed her book there where Davids arm leaned before. David seemed relief for the disturbance, Dwight still lost in a chain of thoughts racing trough his mind. David cleared his throat, face still red. „Sure, what can we help you with?“ - „Here, I need to memorize the meaning of the flowers, but its so hard.“ Dwight wanted to run away, just run and never look back, but Claudette made big puppy eyes, and he couldn’t say no to a friend in need. He bend over the book, reading a few meanings. Well he read them, but didn’t understand a word. David was leaning over the book from the other side and he could breathe in his scent. David smelled like a sunrise at the ocean to him. Like love. Like comfort. David cleared his throat, started to ask Claudette a few meanings of various flowers, but everytime Claudette just shook her head, sighting in frustration. Dwight had to admit that he found that quite odd, since he never saw her struggling with everything like that. „Maybe learning from hearing it is easier, you know, like memorizing the lyrics of a song.“ She said „Like here, you ask Dwight and I listen.“ Dwight had no idea were Claudette was going with that, but everything was better to him now than facing that stroking embarassment. Still he couldn’t get himself to look at David again. He heard Nea fumbling with the coffeebrewer. He wanted her to finish it quicker, but he also wanted her to take forever.

Claudette was still pointing to a specific flowers in the book. David cleared his throat again. „Uhm…lavender rose, what does that one mean?“ Now Dwight looked at him again, meeting Davids gaze made his racing and stopping at the same time. „I have no idea“ he said, laughing shyly. David looked back in the book, laughing nervously. „So, what does it mean?“ Claudette asked him. „It means…love at first sight.“ David coughed, his face still bright red or red again. Dwight didn’t know what to say, or feel, or do. He wanted to think about again how stupid the thought alone of David loving him was, but he couldn’t get himself to do it. Or how stupid it was to think about it just because David was reading something from a stupid book. He couldn’t do that either.

„Okay, now you!“ Claudette turned the book around, pointing at a certain paragraph „ask him.“ Dwight looked at the pointed at picture, it was a lily. He didnt read the meaning beforehand, otherwise he could never ask. „Uhm, the lily.“ - „You have to tell me, I don’t know that“ David smiled. „It means…I dare you to love me.“ Dwight read the words before his mind was processing what he was saying. He could feel his face heating up, his heart sank into the ground, his mind screaming, but when he looked up at David, he forgot all of it. He instantly was thrown back to the sunrise at the beach, the comfort, the calmness. David didn’t say a word, he just looked at Dwight, looked away, back at him again, smiling akward, then widely, and Dwight had to correct himself; THIS was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Maybe there was still hope, even for him.

„Thank you, I think I can handle it from now on“ Claudette took her book and sat down at the other side of the counter. Dwight wanted to say something, but even more, he just wanted to stare at David. „Your coffee!“ Nea placed the cup on the counter, grinning from one to another, Dwight thought about hitting her. David must have been deep in his thoughts cause he startled at the sudden interruption, looking at his watch „oh my, I am already way too late, I am sorry, I…see you tomorrow.“ he took the coffee and headed towards the door, running against it when he tried pushing instead of pulling it, almost dropping his coffee. Then he was gone. Dwight glared at Nea „why, Nea, WHY?“ she looked apologetic „Jakes shift started a few minutes ago he already gave me suspicious looks…but wow that was something wasn’t it?“ - „Yeah, he ran away.“ - „I don’t care, I watched everything, what do you think why I made you read that stuff about the flowers? If you say one more time he isn’t into you I gonna…“ Claudette was interupted by Nea who pointed at the door „Speaking of which“ Claudette and Dwight looked to the door. David was pacing back and forth outside, it looked like he was mumbling something or talking to someone. Dwight went around the counter to have a better few. What was going on with him?

David fumbled with the cup, Dwight still couldn’t see too much. David came back to the door, stopped in his tracks, waited, then he came back in. „Everything okay?“ Dwight asked, not knowing what else he could do. Maybe David came back to throw the coffee in his face, who knows.

David reached him, holding the cup tight. „Uhm yeah, here, take this back.“ Dwight frowned as he looked at David, holding the cup out to him. What was happening? „Why? Anything wrong with the coffee?“ - „Please, just take it!“ David came closer, putting the cup in Dwights hands. „Is something wrong with the coffee?? We will make you a new one, please..please don’t stop coming here every morning..“ Dwight wasn’t sure why he said that or how he build up the courage to do so, but he wanted David to know that he couldn’t lose him.

„I won’t stop…“ David took a deep breath, already half turned to the door, when he suddenly launched forward, hugging Dwight. It was a short hug, but a tight and gentle one. „Okay, bye!“ David let go and was already out the door before Dwight could breathe again. Neas cheering rang in his ears, he was gripping the cup so tight that he almost smashed it. „Wooow, Fairfield, good for youu!“ Dwight still stood there like a statue, he could still feel Davids embrace, never wanting to let go of that feeling again. „Nea, the customers are waiting!“ Jake yelled, and Nea was back behind the counter after she rolled her eyes. „Hey, you okay there?“ Claudette was beside him, laying an arm on his shoulder. Dwight nodded, looking down at the cup, when he realized, there was something written on it. He read it and smiled widely. „You know that feeling Clau, when someone hugs you so tightly, that all of your broken pieces get put back together?“ - „No, I don't“ - „Me neither, but I do now.“ Claudette smiled widely, rubbing his back encouraging before going back to her books. Dwight walked, no floated back around the counter, looking at his watch, waiting for time to pass, for his shift to be over. He also waited for his mind to feed him all kinds of doubts, sad thoughts and bad scenarios. But none of that happened. He looked at the cup again. Maybe there was still a chance for him being loved back after all. „[phone number] Call me tonight if you dare. I am waiting. David.“

[psycheverse-of]

Title: The One Who Is Loved. Author: a teenaged Amber Renee POV: second Summary: Brighton is a fuck up. He’s in this college, full scholarship, everything his way, but he is too fucked up to notice. Drugs are his vice, they keep him going. Well, besides the loyal Spencer who plays the bestfriend and secret crush. And if you think Brighton isnt beating himself up about this newfound gay curve, you’d be wrong. Warnings: drug use. brief mention of noncon sex.  Authors note: idunno, okay? I have this fucked up little character in my head, and he wanted his story told. i present him…

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.

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Hi. My name is Unimportant, and i will wreck your life.

Hi. My name is Unimportant, and i’m a fuck up.

I have a lamp above my desk, it’s bright and hot and makes me think of the desert. I go to the desert a lot. It’s big and bright and hot. Except for when i go at night and then it’s not. And nothing can ever be what it says it is for long. Deserts just seem bright and hot, a lamp, but they get cold and dark too.

I flip the lamp off and leave my room.

I have a living room, do you have one? What do you use yours for? I have 5 lines of coke in mine, and I usually just pass out in it. Is that what you do? Its what i do. Anyway, i walk into my living room (and what do i do besides die in it?) I walk in and think ‘how much do i want to take?’

cont.

I want three. Three beautiful, wonderful, burning lines of coke to breathe in, please. Drive to the next window!

I get to my knees, hands on the cool coffee-coke table and inhaleinhaleinhale. i forget about the world for a few minutes, and suddenly the walls of my apartment are colorful! This isnt the mental hospital i thought it to be for those few moments.

I jump up, struck by genius, and back under the desert lamp and computer. I Am An English Student. i read books that use old english, and write things that take days. But right now, i’ve been on writers block, hence the coke, not that i need the excuse. If i dont do well enough i could loose my scholarship. i giggle, man i’m stressed.

Smiling to myself, i type, type, type and wipe blood off my nose.

i wanna dieeeeee. i wanna dieeeeee. please give me an A, mister teacherrr!

I get a big fat F, so i take more coke and i forget all about it.

——-

I know. I know i’m fucking addicted. I’m fucked up, but i’m not an idiot. How do i tell? How do I know?

——–

“Hello Brighton.” Oh yeah, that’s my name. I’m not just Unimportant. No, I’m also Brighton “the one who is loved.”

That’s what i mean. My name. I am supposed to be the one that’s loved. Where does that leave everyone else? What makes me so fucking lucky? Why cant Tom or Drew or Sammy be loved, huh? And anyway, it’s not like its real. Its not like i’m real.

“Hiiiii Youuuuuuu!” I smile, and laugh and it’s dark. The desert is cold, so fucking cold but i dont feel it. Nope, i’m in tight jeans, a T-shirt and fingerless gloves but i dont feel a damn thing.

“…What did you take?”

“ABCD EEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Clever. I have to be clever, i’m so clever, “I’m so clever right?” I laugh and laugh until the stars blur into one big ball of fire, and i wish it were my birthday so i could blow them out.

“Oh, Bright. I wish you wouldnt,” I hear your voice and it’s so sad, why are you so sad? The birthday candles are for you, you, you!

“It’s your birthday! Make a wish!” I laugh and clap and you’re leading me back upstairs, why?

“I wish you’d stop.”

I’ll stop when the world stops.

“I love you” I do, I do, I do, I do.

“Go to sleep, Bright. I’ll see you in the morning,” But we go together like the desert and my lamp. Similar, but completely different.

We dont go together, but you sing me to sleep.

(*)

I wake up to a bright headache and a heavy dose of reality seeping through my window. Not okay.

I groan, not okay, and roll off the bed thumping tp the floor. Not okay. I dont even stand. Just crawl, crawl to the desk with the lamp. The desert lamp. I crawl, not okay, and make grabby hands towards the drawer. I pull out its contents, groaning again and lean against the wall. I curl my legs towards my chest, not okay, I light up.

Wake 'n Bake.

I’m okay.

——–

It’s bright outside. Wow, is it always bright here? It’s so bright. I hate it. I hate Bright.

“I hate you, sun,” I singsong. I lift my hands up, feeling my string bracelets fall lower on tired arms, feeling my fingers spread out, feeling. I hate you son.

I drop my hands, bracelets follow, lining up in order once again, where they belong. Time to Be Responsible. Time to Go To Class.

The path to my class is short, too short and it’s too hot. It’s so hot. Sweltering. Vocabulary word. Definition? My life. Overwhelming.

Out Of Control.

The path is short, the building is tall, I follow the steep line of it with my whole head, black hair shifting from out of my eyes with the effort. Tall, tall, tall. You know what? I bet you, I bet nothing bothers this building. It’s strong and it’s big and it’s fucking tall. Really tall. Think of something tall.

Taller then that.

I’m still looking up, up, up when i get shoved from behind. It’s slow, stumbling forward, and then wrenched back.

“You dick,” The words climb out of Smaller-Then-Building-Boy’s mouth and dance around my head. It’s bright yellow. It hurts my eyes it’s so bright. I dont respond. The yellow distracts me, “Hey, anyone in there? Think you can get my girl wasted and then take advantage of her? And not get punished, huh asshole?” The colors are changing. Their hue is lifting, darkening with intent. Red, Redder, flashing, bleeding.

I open my eyes and the talltall building is looking down on me. I look straight and the sun I hate smiles down at me. Why am I here? I sit up and wipe blood off my face, but it keeps dripping. I feel everything.

My high is wearing off.

I stand up, the building seemingly so much smaller and trudge in. I’m late, I’m bruised, I’m battered but I’m here.

“Mr. Wells, do you have another riveting tale for us today?” Teacher.

“What? No,” I slide into a seat, scratching wearily at my skin.

Fuck, I need a hit.

———

“I heard you got into a fight with Chris.”

“Yup.”

“Over his girl?”

“Yup.”

“You even know her name?”

“Nope.”

“Oh, Brighton,” You sigh wearily. I finally look up to catch your face.

“Sorry,” I whisper, I don’t know if you heard me, and I almost dont want you to. I feel like that’s a part of me, of my heart being cut away. Given to you.

You’re a guy.

Why am i not high?

Oh right. Because I’m with you. Because you “don’t approve”. Because you’re above my shit and I love you. Shit. Shit.

“It’s okay,” So you heard, so you caught my heart. It’s not okay. This isn’t okay but it’s not like I’m primed to stop. I can’t stop.

“Okay,” I say instead and you go back to the video game you’re playing and I’m watching.

That’s fine, and that’s fine. I didnt want your attention anyway. It’s fine, really. I just can’t tear my eyes away from you or the tongue poking out of your lips in concentration. I can’t see what’s happening on screen, but it must be good if your smile is anything to go by. You look so happy, why am i not smiling like that?

So i do, I test it out on my face. It stretches and pulls at my muscles, taunt without their usual stimulant.

“You havent smiled in ages,” You note and I dont stop. Just smile, all teeth, i can feel it. We’re at your place and you have the air on. It’s dark except for the TV, and it’s cold.

I’m okay.

 (*)

 I wake up gasping, nightime. Nightmare. You.

I get up from the bed, your bed. I’m still at your house. Sober. I cant stop shaking and you’re a light sleeper.

“Brigh’?” Mumble, mumble I’m in trouble.

“I have to go,” I feel frantic, my skin feels too hot. Fuck, hot, bright, Brighton, loved. Not okay.

“Wait, wait, Brighton,” You’re sitting up. No, just go back to sleep, please stop. Just stop. Stop. Stop.

“Stop,” My feet are hitting the ground fast before I can think, I’m carried away.  Space growing between us. Outside it’s still dark, but I feel the sun. I can’t always see it, but the bright is always there.

My room in my apartment. Never have peeling walls, dirty floors and a grey existence been such a welcome. I breathe it in, and exhale smoke. Fast forward and I’m hardly here at all. My eyelids are heavy, so heavy, but sleep is a far stretch away. Tingling away from my hands. Sleep is a dream.

Genius.

I sit up and crawl, not okay, to my bedroom, my desk, desertlamp on, my computer. Keyboard waiting for me happily. Type, type, type. I have a paper due in creative lit 3, and my material is dancing before my eyes. Little words like subtitles across the bottom of my lids. There is no sound around me, just the words whispered softly in my ear. Ability at my fingertips.

I feel nothing, I feel everything. I swipe black hair from my eyes, long. A while back I cut my hair after the lead singer of my favorite band. I’m paying for it now, it’s so long.

I feel the words like a gust of air through my transparent body. My overheated skin burned by the desertlamp is cooled and relieved.

I feel.

xx

A- Beautifully written. Powerfully unique. I would like to see you writing lighter topic next time.

I got an A. I got an A, but I’m confused. Topics are topics. They don’t weigh anything. They’re just thoughts. Topics swarm, topics are spoken and traded, and taboo. Are topics heavy also?

Is the simple notion of sleep as a dream too heavy?

What’s the line?

Coke? Pot? Heroine? Crime? Sex? Violence? What’s heavy? Not those.

No, those aren’t topics at all. Those are just vices. Etched into a skin and marring beauty. No, those decay a person; those take over a persons eyes. Those live inside and breed friends similar. No, those aren’t topics. That’s a life.

A life can’t be heavy. A life can drag, and split but weight had nothing to do about it. Life is imprinted with heavy topics and then let loose on a wandering soul. I imagine that the soul feels naked, empty and cold. I imagine that it is happy with anything that comes along. If you were a lonely soul wouldn’t you be happy a body came to you, asking you to jump in? Asking so much from you –so inexperienced? You’re young, soul that is, and so alone. So alone. You jump in; make room by the heartache and drugs and it feels like home. The life closes up its opening, and you -soul- realize too late. It’s too late.

Not okay.

And now we’re stuck, all of us. In these weightless bodies, next to our vices. Maybe yours isn’t drugs, but you harbor. You live with your vice. You’re body could be a box or a mansion, but inside prowls that vice.

And that’s okay.

A vice isn’t heavy.

A body isn’t heavy.

Souls aren’t heavy.

Innocence. Innocence is heavy.

Innocence follows like a heavy fog, weighing a person down. It’s born in all of us, even you, even me. Innocence weighs more then anyone can hold, we have to let it go. People cling to it, to their “innocence” and you, my heartache, cling to yours so hard it scares me. Let it go. I had to let the weight off of me. I was too weak for the heaviness, for the burden of “innocence”. I let it go. It had dragged me down, and now I’m light. Now, I’m high. See, do you see that play on words? That’s what letting go does. The world gets so many in-betweens. With the darker the world gets it’s no longer black and white. And for all my talk,

I’d give anything for the weight back.

To wake up and not be burdened by colors and between the lines and those and this, but never that and highs and lows, failure, middle ground. To wake up and just be.

I sigh, looking out my window. Void.

It’s nearly Christmas.

 (*)

 “Hey Bright,” You don’t mention my panic attack from the other day, and I’m thankful. I also can hardly understand the English language.

“Spin!” I smile; your face looks lovely today. Yup, it does, does, does.

“You’ve been on something more often then not, as of late.”

“Really? No, no. I’m hardly, I-I’m not really on… anything. I-my. You look pretty today!” I finish grandly, throwing you off guard. Your pretty face looks different.  Wrinkles above your eyebrows, “What’s that?” I point and mimic the expression.

 “My frustrated face,” You answer, and your voice is deeper.

 “Oh. Hey, hey do you think. Do you think a topic can be heavy?”

“Sure. Something no one wants to talk about,” You shrug.

“Oh. Oh, I guess. I didn’t think so. I didn’t. It doesn’t weigh anything-”

“They aren’t talking about weight, Brighton,”

“No, no. No, listen. Listen, it doesn’t weigh anything. And, things that do, they aren’t topics. Those are trivial, y’know?  But, and what people do, what we live for. That thing that we share our lives with, that’s nothing too. That’s just this unforgiving passenger. Or, or maybe even the driver… I don’t know, but point is, it weighs nothing, it takes nothing to carry it. But what I figured out was, was that innocence, how we’re all born with it, that is the heaviest thing a person can carry. It burdens us, it breaks us until we shed it.  It takes nothing to be corrupt, only the strongest can carry innocence like a shield. Do you get what I’m saying?” You’re so strong.

“…And then you say something like that,” You breathe out softly. My fingers itch to touch.

“I’m kinda outta it,” You know, “But I’m sure that wasn’t the answer I was looking for.”

“No. It’s just, when giving up on you seems the only way; you show me why I can’t. How smart you are,” I. Oh.

And you’re looking at me like I’m worth looking at. It feels so good to breathe under your eyesight. This is okay.

Arms. Around me. It takes a minute to click and oh, we’re hugging. Why are we hugging?

“Brighton. Please, just try for me. Please, it’s killing me. Please stop it all.”

My warm fuzzys stop. You’ve never outright asked that of me. It was there, I could feel the plead in every move you made, radiating. But now, it’s vocalized.

Now you’ve done it.

I stop hugging but you cling. Are you crying? Am I crying? I can’t stop, this is bigger then me. I tell you as much.

“Get help, Bright. Get help and get out. Please,” I can’t promise anything, but-

“I-I’ll try?”-maybe.

——–

Sobriety is officially the world’s most overrated thing, ever. It’s two days later, 4 ‘til Christmas. And I’m sorry, but this isn’t working for me.

My face is wet, my body is shaking. I can��t tell what I’m experiencing withdrawals from because I’ve been on them all. You’re gripping me tight, saying words like “love” and “proud” and “Brighton”.  There’s a fog to you. Your sounds penetrate, your words do not. I can’t see you either, but my eyes are probably closed/ I’m really cold.

“Can’t, can’t,” Mumble, mumble.

“Sh, you can, Brighton. You can-”

“Can’t, can’t. I can’t. I-Spencer-can’t,”

“Sleep, relax. So good, Bright,” Fuck, I’m so cold. Fuck, it’s so hot.

This isn’t going to end well, and we both know it.

You have optimism for days.

———

It’s three days later and tomorrow is Christmas.

I can’t get up, I can’t move. This isn’t enough.

My chest hurts, why are you doing this to me?

This is cruel, you are cruel. Staying at my house; by my side, making me food, warming my body. How dare you?

I’m feeling better though, I must admit. I’m not shaking nearly as hard and my eyes can open again. I still want it. Fuck, I want so much it feels like I’m going to explode with pure need of an absolution.

“Bright,” Yes? “Brighton, I have to visit my parents tomorrow morning. Think you can handle yourself for that long?” Is this all you think of me?

Am I just a… child? A child for you to fuss over, to coo over, to hold my hand when I fall and pick back up?  Is that all? You’re an angel in my eyes. You’re the greatest good there is, pure innocence in human form, strong to hold it.  That’s what you are; you are so close to perfection. I am a child.

“Go ahead,” I’ll show you child.

———

“I was starting to worry about you, kid.”

“Just a quick vacation off,” I assure. My eyes are flickering around the dim apartment, home away from home.

“Come in, come in. Merry Christmas,” His laugher feels hollow. It doesn’t just seem. Like, I can feel this. Feel the empty space where the meaning behind it would be.

I wander in, and you cross my mind. I can’t pinpoint why I’m doing this to myself, to you. The moment you bid me goodbye, I was out like a light, shoes on and headed to where my vices materialize. To this hole in the wall, hole in my heart. Fuck, this place is so dirty.

I am so dirty.

“Come in, I said,” Right, right. I take my small steps in, room opening up before me, and “Take a seat kid,” Kid. Kid. Kid.

I’m always a kid to this guy, but I’ve never felt more young. I’m hardly this adult I’m supposed to be. Although, I’m hardly an adult legally, but point in case; I am. I am, but I’m not. I’m so not.

“What’s good?” His opinion was always good. Revert to old habits, I suppose. Fuck, I’m thinking way too much, “Anything to clear my mind?”

“Fer sure, kid,” He smiles slow and snake-like, same as always. I’ll be leaving here doped up, “You know the price,” I do. I know, but it kills a part of me every time. And actually, I’m pretty sure it killed me the first time and now he’s just chipping away at the remains. My throat feels dry, my heart is pounding and for someone so dead, I sure do feel.

Dark rooms, and a shove towards my hell.

Sleep is a dream.

…

As soon as possible I’m out of there too. Kid fresh out of a candy store, pockets bulging with sweets.  I wrap my sweatshirt closer around my frame and think about you again. (Always) You would hate me if you knew. If you knew how I fuel this obsession, and that it is so wrong and I am so wring. I want to stop, I’ve never wanted that so bad.

I feel dizzy as I enter my apartment again, and with no drugs my thoughts come cleaner. Nothing as fragmented or ridiculous. Well, maybe a little, but I think that’s just me.

…Maybe…that’s…just…

me.

The powder I was measuring splatters with realization, but. I don’t. Care. I don’t. I- me. Me. It’s… I can decipher myself within this…. this shell. I have lines around me, a joint ready to be rolled, I have myself. I blink. I blink again. And I can’t breathe, but I’m inhaling steadily. I don’t want this. Well, I do, I still feel the pull, but mentally I don’t want this. This vice.

The door opens. You. You wont understand, you’ll jump to conclusions. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I jump up from kneeling, frantic. Got to hide it, all of it. Flush it, ignore it, pretend. Please don’t see!

“Het Bright, I got you…” You trail off. You’re not looking at me, no. You’re staring angrily at the whit dust on the table. It’s not what it looks like!

“No,” I whisper. It’s not what it looks like! I wanted the escape, the crutch, I needed it then. I gave up myself, my body to someone and to these drugs. I know. I know, okay? But, but, I didn’t! I don’t want to! I was weak, I was… a child. I’m done. Please, please, I want to grow up! I want this to end! Please, “Spencer,”

Your eyes flick to mine, watery. Both. I want you to understand, but I can’t get the words on my side. I can’t. I can’t.  

“Why?” You croak, “Why are you killing me?” No! No, that’s the last thing I wanted. Blame.

“No! Spencer. No, I-I. I didn’t…I couldn’t…I flushed them…weal…didn’t…want…flushed…I can feel me, now. I don’t want that to stop… I don’t want you… to go. Didn’t…swear,” I stumble my words, and to you, arms outstretched. I grab you before you can go, grab you tight and cling.”

I’m so sorry.

I don’t ever want to lose you.

I don’t ever want to lose me, again.

Don’t leave me with my vices.

I’m scared.

“I’m scared.”

Please answer me. Please do something. Please, please?!

“You need real help. I’m only one person. I’m only 20. You need to go, leave and stay there until you’re better,” I nod, understanding. I’m too much.

I’m a child.

You’re far too young to be taking care of someone who can’t take care of themselves. Can’t love someone who can’t possibly love themselves. Can’t touch something so dirty.

“And,” You continue, angling my face to yours, “I know what you’re thinking,” Nod, “I’m not going any-fucking-where. I’m here, I’m with you until you can’t stand me anymore,” You promise. Suddenly, there’s a click form my bedroom, glass shattering as my desertlamp burns itself out.

And in my semi-lit apartment, Christmas day, energy buzzing between our eyes.

We’ve got optimism for years.

 (*)

End.

[wwestoryteller]

Smackdown Thoughts

I’ve taken a minute, I’ve walked away, I’ve gotten myself something to drink, it’s time to watch Smackdown. I already know I’m going to be happy at some point. It will be enough to sustain me through my vague grumpiness over Raw. Let’s do this. 

Nevermind, they opened with Charlotte and I am back to grumpy. 

Carmella is wearing that coat like Asuka does more than Naomi hahah

Bleh. Blurry. 

This one is also blurry but I don’t care. It’s cute. 

The absolute character work from Mandy Rose here is fantastic. She is telling a story unrelated to the match. This is something wrestlers are trained to do (in my experience) but I always love seeing it. 

The Miz and Shane McMahon almost always provide good screenshots. Not so far, though. 

Oh no. Jimmy isn’t wearing his hat. It’s jimmy who wears the hat, right? I can’t tell them apart even with the hat. I may not be able to get screenshots simply out of inability to properly label them. 

“Maybe, we’re twins” is honestly the best. This is the best I’ve ever heard the Usos on the mic and I realize I’ve probably said that before but I do not care. 

Okay I kinda can tell the difference by who responded to the Mandy Rose thing but I have already forgotten who did. 

Wow that little nose scratch was so in sync. Twins are magic. I still cannot tell them apart. Wow. 

I recognize that they have different haircuts. I know there is no excuse for me not to tell the difference. I have been running the main blog for two years and I have tried. I haven’t given up, but I recognize where I’m definitely not getting something. 

EYYYY Rowan has a korpilkanni shirt. I don’t think that’s the right spelling but i love it anyway. 

I just.. I just love the New Day... SO MUCH

I’ve talked about how Kofi Kingston was my first favorite wrestler as a kid, right? After my dad, who I don’t think counts since that’s an obvious bias. Kofi has always been one of my favorites. I’m so happy he’s getting this opportunity. 

I completely got distracted I was really enjoying myself.

Camera person why

This may be my best chance at a screenshot of Samoa Joe

The desperation in the “fight me” my goodness. I am so invested. 

Lots of extreme closeups this week.

I don’t know what happened but I’m 95% sure Kofi Kingston won.