#also i dont know if that side tangent makes any sense im very eepy and this is just word vomit to a point-

[sage-is-in-fact-very-tired]

having incoherent thoughts actually

(mostly a small collection of everything I can discern that gives us insight into sherb and raes relationship as children)

(also known as a long post about c!sherbert and Rae and siblings-)

(Also also known as mildly incoherent long post time that it just word vomit and stringing along thoughts-)

so like. Going through the notes in order, at the end of notes 1 there is the hint that Sherbert maybe isn't the best older sibling, with the '-lled me stupid because I got her name wrong'

do I Uh. Have to go through notes 2? Do I. Do i.. cause. Cause that was pretty fuckin shitty. There's nothing I can say that will excuse that Or what they said to him. I get stress and everything going on, but I'm not sure there is an expectation for that. Sherbert shouldn't have done that, and was obviously not being a good older bother in this moment.

first entry of notes number three that we can see (post notes 2, and presumably post sherb ripping it up) talks about sherb saying that they shouldn't go into Isla room anymore. With the addition of the fact the both of them won't have sleepovers in there anymore. Sherbert couldn't have cared that little about him, if they had sleepovers presumably fairly regularly in their mothers room.

Just. Sherb calling Rae weird. (Entry 9 that we can see) which. Might just be a sibling thing, but ┐(ﾟ～ﾟ)┌

Entry 11 that we can see, Sherb caught Rae sneaking out, Rae says they're going to tattle. That they always do. Gives the impression that sherb just wants rae in trouble for one reason or another. (However, my dad likes to tell us that tatting is okay if someone at risk at getting hurt. Sneaking out isn't exactly harmless. On the other hand, we don't know what the other events they've tattled about, so I cannot say if this was a concerned older sibling tattle or a needing and wanting a younger sibling to get in trouble tattle.)

Entry 12 of notes 3, and '-eld notes' both reference rae questioning something that someone (presumably sherbert, as said person is referred to with they/them) else presumably doesn't believe, saying that it was made up. Which. Maybe listen to your sibling when they say they've seen/heard/experienced someone?? I don't know, it doesn't seem like Sherbert believed mush that Rae said. (It is important to note entry 12 was labeled a day after entry 11.)

Also in '-eld notes' "we can't get it to stop" in reference to their eye implies they were both trying to get it to stop. What Rae said today on stream pushes doubt on the idea that Sherbert wanted that help.

(I. Going on a side tangent about the eye and the eye patch and sherb throwing it away and laughing at Rae trying to help and Rae being upset. Um. Okay. So um. As the older sibling you are. Expected to be the one younger siblings lean on when your parents are busy or when your parents cant or they're unavailable or or or. And with that, you're expected to really only need help from either, a, your parents, or b, another older sibling (who is older than you). now sherbert didn't have any of those. they're without fable. Without Isla. (Without anyone above you, these are just 'expectations' you set for yourself.) They are the older sibling, they're not supposed to need help from their younger sibling. Sometimes you don't want help from your younger sibling. The eye thing must've hurt and they must have been very stressed about it on top of everything else, and and and. The laugh could've been something bitter. It also could have not. Them throwing the eyepatch away could've been them hold themself to "expectations" they dont have to, not thinking theyvneed their younger siblings help. (not wanting it.) We don't know, we weren't there, but also just. I don't know if that moment was sherbert being a shity older sibling or sherbert being a worn out done with the world (still kinda shitty because they didn't explain why) older sibling. Dont know. Just. Side tanget.)

(Rae being upset about it is perfectly valid. He has his right. I'd be upset to if my older sibling was hurting and I tried to help and they wouldn't let me and they laughed at me because how dare I try to fix something and how dare i try to care about them. I'd very very upset.)

Side tangent over. Alone together. Alone together. This book haunts my dreams /vvpos. Do I take it at face value? Do I look further into it? I don't know. So. This is mostly just. Quotes I'm pointing out because how do I take them after that lore today? I don't know-

So, first, "masking their disappointment as they put on a forced smile for the boy beside them."

This too, "In spite of every disagreement and struggle, their bond was unlike any other." Implying that despite everything priorly mentioned, they were still close.

And. And this. ""Rae, I'm glad I have you""

Also all the memories fable showed sherb and Rae the two of them seem. Really close. Rae clinging to sherbert and sherbert talking very gently to Rae.

Also. Also that one message in spoilers about sherb and the corruption and how its probably very similar to how a younger sherbert acted and heyhays response. that too. Actually-

And. That's. All I'm looking for right now. I'm sure there's more and yall are very free to add on and correct me (please please do correct me if I made a mistake) I'm being very incoherent and just having older sibling vs. younger sibling thoughts right now, so I'm not sure if any of this makes sense-