#also i do headcanon steve as bi but the story only works if hes straight

[intergalacticaquarium]

Reader visits Family Video practically every day, and tries to get service only from Robin, ignoring Steve 🥰

Hoooooo boy went a little overboard with this one but I really really really love it so much- maybe not exactly what you asked for but I hope you like it!

This Week at Family Video

Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington friendship (and character study) Robin Buckley x a girl who I guess is technically an oc

summary: A cute girl keeps coming into Family Video and Steve is determined to wingman his best friend Robin into a date with her, which turns into a deeper bonding moment when Steve realizes he's grown a lot but there's still room to go and Robin realizes that she's not as alone as she feels.

Content/warnings: Robin talks about how it feels to be closeted in the 80s so there are allusions to period typical homophobia and a quote from Steve from season one which is uncool. It's just like....an analysis of the friendship between the lesbian and the straight himbo and how there's a lot more to it than bonding over hot girls.

(Also I mention a couple movies in here and I have seen none of them so don't @ me)

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9k words

Monday 

    It was an average day at the Family Video. People filtered in and out, a few of whom garnered some appraising, and, admittedly kind of objectifying glances from the two clerks that sat behind the central desk, who’s eyes would flash up as the bell ring, look at each other and make a subtle face to indicate whether or not the thought the girl that just came in was cute. 

Robin admits openly to feeling bad about this ritual, and Steve agreed that it was pretty sexist and they shouldn’t be collectively checking out chicks that came in and consulting on their hotness but at this point it was almost involuntary and hard to avoid when Steve all but lept over counters when a pretty girl walked in. Robin told him that she only did it now so she knew if she’d have to be working the sales desk for the next 2-8 minutes until he’d get rejected and come back to help but he didn’t buy it for a second.

The bell over the door rang and they glanced up to see a cute girl with intentionally messy hair, some oversized layers, and a bucket hat walk in casually. Steve and Robin both looked at each other with raised eyebrows just before Steve walked around the counter.

“Welcome to Family Video- anything I can help you find today?” Steve said, turning on his charm, regardless of how overzealous he was with it at times. “I’m Steve, and you are?” He said, sticking out a hand. The girl looked a little overwhelmed at the attention and laughed awkwardly.

“Uh, yeah I’m Leslie.  I’m just looking for a movie that nobody else seems to have.” She said with a laugh and a furtive glance at Robin, who prepared herself to step in quickly.

“Well, obviously we have a wide, wide selection of movies, what kind of things are you into? Tell me about yourself.” He said, leaning seductively against a shelf and knocking a few of the empty cases to the ground and picking them up while attempting to look like he hadn’t missed a beat. Robin couldn’t help but widen her eyes in mild horror at how poorly he was doing. Then her eye caught the girl’s, who met it with the same look that said holy shit, are you seeing this? Robin nodded and silently laughed as she watched the girl turn back to Steve’s attempted flirtation with an overly exaggerated interest and nodding that Robin delighted in seeing was entirely sarcastic.

“I’m actually looking for something pretty specific that I’ve been having a hard time finding.” She interrupted after the humor of the situation had worn off.

“Of course, yeah- what do you need?”

“A film called Hour of the Wolf?” she said nervously, and Robin’s ear perked up.

“OH, yeah I love that one- Michael J Fox as a basketball playing werewolf- who thinks of this stuff? I used to play basketball, you know. Didn’t need the wolf powers, though-”

“That's Teen Wolf, Steve.” Robin corrected from the counter, earning a grateful glance from the girl, who walked over to her quickly, and Steve threw his hands up and sighed.

“We don’t actually have Hour of the Wolf which is a shame because it really is a masterpiece.” Robin chimed in, pulling a thoughtful face

“I’ve been trying to get stupid Keith to get it but he says there isn’t enough demand. Shows what he knows.” Robin said, making Leslie smile and her own heart flutter at the sight. 

“Whoever Keith is sounds like he’s got quite the expert on his hands…” She said cheerfully.

“If you're into arthouse horror stuff though you should check out Eraserhead.” Robin suggested, and Leslie shrugged.

“Arthouse? Is that like a place, or..?” Steve asked, trying to stay in the conversation, but was largely ignored. 

“Sure. If you recommend it I’m sure it’s a winner...” She said, a little cheeky, glancing down at her nametag so obviously that for a second Robin thought this girl was checking out her rack in the middle of the store.”Robin.” She finished, saying her name clearly. 

 Robin thought that maybe for a second there she died and was resurrected, but it turned out to just be butterflies. She stuttered for a moment, telling her about the cinematography as she got her the movie and finished lending it. As she walked out Robin sighed, glancing at Steve.

“Once again, you blew it, Steve.. I really wish I still had the you suck board.” She said with a wry smile.

“Yeah…I know you do, Robin. I know you do.”

Tuesday

The next day at Family Video, Steve was peppering her with questions to Robin’s ire.

“Okay, explain one more time what an arthouse movie is?” He asked, and she rolled her eyes.

“Why do you want to know? You already blew your shot.” She criticized while put away the tapes.

“Alright, you don’t know that. And she’s not the only arty chick in the world. Maybe that’s why I haven’t had any luck lately.” He guessed lamely and Robin gave him a dead stare.

“You are telling me that the reason you can’t get a second date is because you haven’t met a girl that is artistic enough? You, Steve Harrington, want a girlfriend who’s primary interests are in arthouse cinema? Is that really what you’re saying to me?” Robin asked incredulously, stopping herself from laughing at the idea of Steve on a date with a moody poet who wanted his opinions on verse. Maybe she should help him if she’d get to hear about that. 

“Just give me another movie like that to recommend her if she comes back in.”

“I don’t know- Dr. Strangelove.” Robin pulled out of thin air. He was definitely about to ask more questions but at that moment the bell rang and there was the girl from yesterday.

She gave Robin a big smile and waved the tape in her hand as she walked over.

“Holy shit, Robin. Holy shit.” She said, putting both hands on the counter. She remembered my name, Robin thought giddily.

“Is that a good holy shit or a bad holy shit?”

“It’s a holy shit holy shit.” Leslie said, still a little bit stunned. “I mean, the last scene? With the bandages? I mean what the fuck? I mean it’s a…bold recommendation to make to a stranger that’s for sure but it was a good one.” She said, giddy, and all of a sudden Robin’s worst fears came true: she opened her mouth and couldn’t shut it.

Fun facts about the movie, her favorite things about cinematography, favorite movies in order, all of it came pouring out involuntarily. Steve sensed her panic and stepped in front of her.

“I think what Robin meant to say was that you should check out uh, Doctor, uh,” he glanced at Robin quickly, who tried to mouth the words subtly even though Leslie was standing a foot away. Steve read her lips and confidently looked to the customer and said: “Doctor Trained Dove. It's great. Arthouse.” 

Leslie tilted her head and pulled her lips between her teeth like she was trying as hard as she could not to laugh, Robin put her face in her hands and Steve grimaced, reading the room correctly and guessing he hadn’t gotten the title right.

“I haven’t heard about that one. What’s…it about?”

Steve opened his mouth and looked at Robin helplessly.

“It’s a musical about a surgeon that becomes a magician. It’s a lesser known sequel to Doctor Strangelove.” Robin said dryly, glaring at Steve when she said the real title and Leslie laughed and bit her lip.

“Didn’t know Kubrick did sequels.” She said teasingly.

“No, this one is John Hughes, actually.” Robin said, sarcasm not coming through as much as a hopeful punchline that she was obviously shocked to see land.

“Well, Unofficial Kubrick sequels aside, do you have another recommendation for me?” Leslie asked, now leaning on the counter.

“Are you sure you don’t want to hear about 2002?” Robin said, her voice now fully transitioned to that of a person daydreaming and unaware they were talking aloud.

“I preferred 2003, actually.” Leslie played along, and Robin knew she was laughing too hard as it was happening.

“Or 2004, right?” Steve cut in , and they both looked at him awkwardly as he ran a hand through his hair. “Seems like it’s a long time from now but it’s not that far, huh? Weird. End of the century."

Two two women just stared at him blankly and just like that the magic was broken. Robin was no longer in the nonexistent John Hughes movie where she was the one that got to kiss Molly Ringwald over a birthday cake and the three of them were just standing in a video store again.

“Have you seen Holy Mountain?” Robin suggested, and Leslie left with it in hand.

Robin and Steve sort of just stood there in shock at just how badly that interaction had just gone.

“Maybe you’re my bad luck charm. I feel like the last time I was cool was before I met you.” He said contemplatively.

“I’m not going to dignify that with a response besides the fact that I didn’t put you in that sailor outfit. If you want to get her attention tomorrow you’re gonna have to study up, man.” Robin said with a laugh, and Steve frowned at her and cocked his head.

“Me?” He asked, and Robin looked at him with confusion.

“Yeah? I thought you liked her.” 

“I mean she’s cute but I was kinda getting a…. Hm?” He said with a vocalization and a hand gesture that Robin didn’t understand.

“C’mon man, you know I have a hard enough time reading people as it is.” She complained.

“What vibe?” She asked incredulously.

“A vibe, Robin, there was a vibe.”

Steve looked around to make sure nobody was around so he could remind Robin that she was a lesbian and he was pretty sure that girl was flirting with her. 

“She was totally flirting with you.” He said quietly, and Robin looked at him far more aghast than she had any reason to be.

“What? No! No, of course she wasn’t flir- what would even make you think? I mean that’s just-” Robin stammered and Steve’s eyebrows got higher and higher.

“Alright, alright, alright, don’t start spiraling. You seemed into her, though, right? I’m not about to violate bro code and ask out the girl you like just because you’re a chick.” He said in what she assumed was a tone that bros used to talk to each other with a shrug and Robin just set her jaw in disbelief and well meaning annoyance.

    Not for the first time since she met him she imagined getting into a time machine and traveling to Ms. Clicks class and leaning over to whisper to herself See those two right there? See sweet, beautiful Tammy Thompson staring at that dick Steve Harrington? In a couple of years one of those people will be the single person on the planet earth that you have ever told that you’re gay and the best friend you’ve ever had in your life.  I’ll give you one guess to who it is, and if you guess right I’ll give you a billion US dollars. Also you’ll be tortured by evil Russians together. 

    “Whatever- look, whether or not I think she’s cute she’s not a- y’know-” she said, grimacing instead of saying lesbian in such a casul setting without a self pep talk to convince herself it wouldn’t be weird.

    “Returning Fast Times at 53 minutes and 12 seconds?” He offered, and her shoulders relaxed and she loosely pointed at him.

“Right. Sure. She’s not pausing fast times and she’s cool- why shouldn’t you go for it?” She said, now surprisingly adamant in a way that Steve didn’t understand in the slightest as Robin was almost always apathetic towards his love life.

“Because I blew my shot? It’s fine, it happens. A lot, according to the You Suck board.” He justified it, but Robin had a determined look on her face.

“I could coach you! Yeah, she’s gonna watch Holy Mountain tonight, why don’t we watch it too and you can talk to her about it.” She suggested, and Steve emphasized the confusion on his face.

“Robin, it's fine if you like her. You know I don’t have any problem with-” he started, and she cut him off on the spiel. 

He did that sometimes when she was upset and he couldn’t figure out why- always jumpeing to defend himself and assumed he had said something wrong by mistake. It happened on occasion, Steve, as much as she knew his heart was in the right place, was still a white, straight male former highschool bully from Hawkins Indiana with parents that voted for Reagan, he was always honest that he was still unlearning a lot of shit and it was inevitable that something would slip out every once in a while. The first time it had happened, about a month after they started working at the video store she heard him talking to an old team mate and casually dropped the word fairy as a descriptor. She told herself he didn’t mean it but she had still let it fester until he was following her around while she restocked movies asking what’s wrong what’s wrong what’s wrong over and over again like a petulant child. She confessed loudly and angrily before looking around in fear that there was a customer. He swore at himself and apologized profusely and in that moment she was really reminded of that night in the Starcourt bathroom and how, despite how annoying he was, Steve Harrington had a heart even bigger than his hair.

It had been a nice moment, the next time he said something a little off-color he caught it himself, but still apologized a lot. It only got annoying when he started doing it every time he (unfortunately, usually correctly) identified that she was in a bad mood because of a problem that stemmed from her sexuality and assumed that problem was that he said something offensive by accident. The truth was that there were just always going to be some things that she would go through that he would never be able to understand and would be hard for her to explain. Half the time she hadn’t even taken the time to figure out what exactly it was that was bothering her besides the baseline level of worry that came with the small town closeted lesbian territory.

“I know you’re not homophobic, Steve.” She said and he stopped, nodding in relief, but then doubling down on his confusion.

“So then why are you getting all weird about this?” he asked genuinely, and Robin shook her head exaggeratedly, like if she did it super obviously he would believe it more.

“Fine, I’ll watch the movie.” He conceded, as they started to gather their stuff for the end of the day. Robin shook a triumphant fist with a silent yes as she grabbed her bag and  headed out the door to his car.

“I’m not being weird at all. I just think you have a shot and she seems cool. Also I haven’t seen Holy Mountain in a while and it rules.” She said all too casually, and Steve stared at her suspiciously. Robin wasn’t budging, mostly because she didn’t really know why she suddenly had the urge to push them together either besides the odd sensation of trying to make something go away on its own. 

“Is this gonna be a movie that I have to think about a lot while we’re watching?” He asked apprehensively, and did not care for the mischievous and possibly sadistic smile she gave him

Wednesday

    Robin and Steve sat on stools behind the checkout counter, Steve looked shell shocked, to say the very least. More so than he looked after last year's Russian Invasion. Robin was alternating between laughing at him and trying her best to be comforting and apologetic.

    “Steve, I told you you could close your eyes if it got too scary.” She said in a voice she hoped sounded genuine and that he couldn’t hear it shaking a little. He didn’t say anything, just leaned back against the counter staring downwards, unresponsive. “Okay, you’ve been doing this for like a day and a half the movie wasn’t that weird.” she said, and he turned to glare at her.

    “You know that’s not true, Robin. You know that.” He said emphatically, and they glanced towards the door as it rang.

    It was Leslie, walking in with a grin on her face and the movie in hand and Steve was pretty sure that this girl might actually be a serial killer. Robin liked it, too, though, so maybe they were on a crime spree together and they were definitely going to take him outside and skin him alive and hang it up and- ugh, Steve stopped and put his palms over his eyes to get the image out of his head.

    “Is…he okay?” Leslie asked, leaning past Robin to look at the unresponsive Steve.

    “He’s fine- we actually watched Holy Mountain too last night and he's contemplating it.” Robin said, glancing at Steve and pumping the eyebrows of a wingwoman, and scowled when he didn’t see her because his head was now resting against the counter.

    From his vulnerable state, Steve braced himself to hear them babble on about the perfect ratio of that shot of that lady banging that mechanical horse without legs but instead only heard Leslie respond with a disingenuously excited “Oh!”

    Robin was expecting the same as Steve, and she couldn’t quite decipher the way that Leslie’s eyes flitted between the two of them.

    “I’m guessing Steve wasn’t a fan?” She asked, and Robin laughed at him to which he responded with a dry ha ha ha said from under his arms laying on the counter.

    “Well, that’s commitment for you. Takes quite a guy to sit through a movie like that just because he wants to hang out with you.” She said with a tight smile.  The way she said it made Robin wish she was better at social cues because she knew for damn sure she was missing something. 

    “Yeah, he’s alright.” Robin said affectionately. 

    Steve was torn between warm fuzzies at the closest thing his best friend can ever come to a compliment and smacking her on the back of the head for not realizing that this girl now thinks that they’re dating. It never ceased to fascinate him that the person that can decipher Russian without knowing Russian couldn’t hear that telltale sound of jealousy and disappointment in the goodbye of a person who just discovered that their crush was dating sebody already. Then again, he could do that but couldn’t decipher the Russian, so maybe it was just a different skill set. 

    “Wow, I’m sorry dude I really thought that she’d want to talk to you about the movie.”

    Leslie let out a fake laugh and put the tape and some cash on the counter before walking away with an awkward wave and disappeared with the bell. 

    Steve pulled himself up off the counter, his forehead red from pressing against the surface and his hair messed up, and his look was one of utter frustration and disbelief.

    “Holy shit, Robin of course she didn’t. She wanted to talk to you about the movie. She left because she thinks we’re dating and it bummed her out.” He said, almost in a yell at the fact that he knew she wasn’t going to listen to him.

    “Ooooh, that makes more sense. See, I was right, her being jealous is proof that she likes you.” Robin declared and Steve dropped his head back onto the counter with a smack that hurt enough to drive that weird ass flick out of his brain. “I’m sorry you watched Holy Mountain for nothing though. She’s right, it is a rough one if you don’t enjoy it.” She said casually, almost certainly smiling maliciously. He began to smack his head against the counter and he was pretty sure he heard her laughing.

Thursday

    Family Video opened at 11 AM, so almost every morning after he dropped Robin off he’d go and try to figure out more ways to not talk to Keith for an entire shift. Today he had decided to take the stack of returns into the back room and rewind the ones returned by the “unkind” that he secretly wanted to kiss on the mouth for giving him a really easy and time consuming thing to do every morning until his break, where he’d go get Robin, listen to her rant about school, get some drive thru for the both of them, and then finish off the day with his best friend. 

    All in all, it was an alright gig.

    Except for Thursdays. Steve hated Thursdays.

    Because on Thursdays Robin’s band practice goes late and she doesn’t work a shift, and Keith takes off for long periods at random intervals and would leave him alone to mind the store on a pretty busy day of the week.

    Today was slow, both in passage of time and number of customers, so they canceled each other out and made the day suck exactly as much as last Thursday. 

    He continued to rewind movies, noting a few titles for later that seemed interesting. He took out the next tape and pushed it in. The movie turned on and Steve nearly fell off his chair when his screen was very suddenly two very naked women. He didn’t rewind yet as the two of them kissed and Steve glanced down at the tape. Desert Hearts. He quickly checked to see who returned it and it was, unsurprisingly, a long list of male names, a few of whom he recognized from various sports teams and parties throughout high school, and strangely Karen Wheeler of all people, but he wasn’t going to unpack that. 

As Steve scanned the back of the VHS box he read about the plot of the lesbian love affair that blossoms between the two women out west and a plan formed in his mind, and that plan would help him honor his Duty as a Man with a Heart a Soul and The Critical Social Skills Robin Buckley Lacks: He was going to get his best friend laid. Because that's what friends do.

-

Later that day Steve had an okay plan that could potentially pan out and now was just waiting for the opportunity, he just had to wait for Leslie to come in like she had every day this week. He leaned against the counter and idly watched the screens and glanced out the display glass as people passed by.

    That was when he glanced up to see somebody slowing down and peeking inside. It was Leslie. Whatever she saw, she looked away and kept walking. Steve tilted his head in confusion, but pushed the VHS tape into the player and waited. There wasn’t much business today and as the movie played he did find himself a bit enraptured in the drama between the two women. 

 The only time when his attention was torn from the weighty glances between Vivian and Kay was when he saw somebody pause outside the window. It was Leslie again, peeking in. When Steve met her eye and waved a little she looked like she had been caught red handed and awkwardly walked in and waved.

“Uh, hey Sam.” She said a little stiffly.

“It’s- it’s Steve.” He corrected, and she quietly apologized and wandered into the stacks.

Now that Leslie was actually in the store, Steve realized that his so-called ‘plan’ was actually just the idea to put the movie about lesbians on the tv and wait to see if she reacted. He wished that wingmanning for Robin didn’t have to be so subtle. 

She put the box on the counter and Steve began to slowly start checking out the movie to give her time for her to either look at the tv and say…something. This was a stupid plan, he realized, and he made a quick move to salvage it.

Using his stealth skills gained from years of monster hunting and high-stakes babysitting, he tried to secretly watch Leslie around the store and noticed that she seemed to not be looking at the movies, but at the staff break room and around the store for other clues about the whereabouts of a certain missing front desk associate. When her eyes caught the TV screen and saw the actresses that Steve hoped looked familiar her head snapped back in front of her and she stood very still, examining a box without really seeing it for what she deemed long enough to take it to the counter to make a quick escape.

“Do you like this movie?” He asked, pointing at the screen and unable to stop himself from visibly cringing.

She looked up at him incredibly awkwardly. “I’m…not sure what movie that is, honestly.” She said, and he was like 50% sure she was lying.

“Robin likes this movie.” What had happened after breaking up with Nancy that left him so much worse at talking to other people? Was it Dustin’s influence? Was it just that he didn’t know how to be charming without being a total dick? He knew it was probably that one.

Leslie gave him a tight smile. “That’s sweet that you’re watching her favorite movies. She’s a nice girl. I'm glad she’s got someone that cares.” 

“Yes! Robin is a nice girl!” He said energetically, even if that wasn’t necessarily a word he’d use for her. “She’s super cool and smart too. She speaks four languages and can translate Russian by ear.” he said, hyping her up, realizing now that Leslie had meant it’s sweet that you watch your girlfriend’s favorite movies.

“I…didn’t know that. Very impressive. You two make a cute couple.” She said, and it was audibly strained.

“We’re not dating. We’re just friends. Best friends.” He added at the end, a little embarrassed of himself. “But I do watch her favorite movies and thank you for seeing the value in that because Holy Mountain has literally been haunting me for two days and I just think that friends should get credit for doing that shit too.” He added in annoyance at nobody in particular.

“Oh!” She said, and he could hear the audible relief, and saw her glance back at the tv and swallow. Steve could see the gears grinding in her head and he could not believe that his terrible plan might be working. “That’s- I mean- I guess I just assumed.”

“Nope, not dating, she’s totally single. I asked her out a little after we first met because of all the cool hot smart stuff I said earlier but she was not interested and now we’re just friends.” He explained, trying to put emphasis on the not. 

“Best friends.” Leslie said gently with a smile, her awkwardness gone and replaced with a very cautious beginning of a theory he was trying to confirm without saying anything.

“Yes! Best friends. Because she’s the best.” He said, nodding, and then Leslie nodded too. They stood there in silence for a second before Steve remembered he was checking out her movie.

He went to write down the number and furrowed his brow when he saw the title.

“National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation? This doesn’t seem like your kind of flick.” Steve said oddly, and her cheeks got a little red.

“I was kinda waiting for Robin to give me another recommendation.” She said with an awkward laugh.

Steve saw his opening, and was closing in on his plan quickly and efficiently. “Well, Robin really likes this movie.” He said, stepping aside so she had a full view of the tv and the lengthy stares between the two actresses. “Do you want to rent it?” he asked, suddenly kind of hoping she said no because he wanted to finish watching it.

“Uh, sure?” She said, and he reluctantly turned around to eject it and making it a full spin when he came up with an alternative.

“Oooh no!” He said in a dramatic fake tone akin to a child's television star that didn’t see you come in but wants to show you some puppets anyway. “This is actually Robin’s copy of Desert Hearts, and not the stores. So I can’t lend it to you.” He said in an exaggerated voice.

Leslie furrowed her brow. “Then why is it playing?”

“Becaaaaaause….she thought I’d like it and she knew it would be a slow day and she wasn’t working.” He pulled out of nowhere.  “But- you should come back tomorrow, when she is here and ask her to borrow it. Oh! Maybe you could watch it together and talk about cinema! Now that’s an idea!” He said, knowing he was overplaying it while he was talking and as Leslie stared at him incredulously.

“You…want me. To come in tomorrow. And ask your friend Robin if I can watch her copy of Desert Hearts with her?” Leslie asked, and Steve nodded profusely at the secret code the two of them had developed. 

“Yes. That’s exactly what I think you should do. If you want to.” He said encouragingly, and he could tell that Leslie was running some serious cost-risk analysis gymnastics in her head trying to decide if this really weird situation was actually trustworthy. Steve knew that if he said anything else he could blow his cover, so he just kept his mouth shut.

A little smile came on Leslie’s face and she nodded.

“ I guess I’ll be back tomorrow, then.” She said, and Steve thought it was adorable how she was trying to hide her excitement.

She left with a little spring in her step and, unsurprisingly, National Lampoon’s stayed on the counter with him. Steve grinned, imagining how excited Robin was going to be, and started to rewind the movie because he was sure that he’d missed something important while he was talking to Leslie.

Friday

It was Friday at Family Video and Steve was acting….weird. 

“Dude, tell me what’s wrong you know I can’t read body language.” She scolded and he shrugged energetically.

“Nothings wrong. Everything’s great!” He said, and reached out to pick a piece of fluff out of her hair so she would look her best when Leslie arrived but she smacked his hand away.

“Don’t touch my hair-Is it the Russians again?” Robin asked seriously.

“What? No. Why do you always assume it’s Russian?”

“Because of the time that it was Russians.” 

“Yeah but it was only once.” He said calmly.

“That’s already too many times, Steve.” She said dryly. “Okay, fine, nothing’s wrong but something is up. What is it?”

He sighed. “Okay, but I’m only keeping it a secret because I don’t want you to freak out and get in your head about it.” He explained, and Robin’s eyes went wide.

“Oh no. What did you do?” she asked in horror. 

“Not oh no! This is good!”

“Tell me now or I’m going to punch you in the throat Steve Harrington I took a self defense class after last summer.” She said sternly. Robin didn’t like surprises. Especially after the Russian thing.

Steve leaned in conspiratorially, looking around the store to double check that no customers had snuck in. “Leslie’s gonna ask you out today.”

“What?” Robin squeaked, her eyes going wide and her chest filling up with that extra special anxiety that was cooked up for her specifically by Sappho two thousand years ago and Ronald Reagan now.

“Yeah! It’s gonna be great- I had a whole plan to figure out if she was, y’know, pausing Fast Times and it worked and she’s gonna come in later and ask if she can come over and watch your copy of Desert Hearts.” He explained cheerfully, hoping that his enthusiasm would break through what he really hoped was happy stunned silence.

“What? How did you..? Did you tell her I was- I mean what the fuck, Dude- and what is Desert Hearts?” She stammered, trying to gather her thoughts.

“You haven’t seen it?” He asked in shock. “Oh my god it’s amazing the chemistry between Helen Shaver and Patricia Charbonneau is electric and-”

“Steve!” She said, snapping him out of his review.

“Right, sorry. I didn’t tell her anything, I just put on the movie and said that you liked it and she said she also liked it and I said that she should ask if you want to watch it.” He said calmly. “More or less.” he added, but Robin didn’t look any less freaked out. “What’s wrong? I thought you liked her.” He asked, truly confused.

That happened sometimes. Steve would assume he  said something wrong but that’s just because he doesn’t like seeing her upset. If he had just accidentally said something shitty at least he could just apologize but more often than not it was just something that she didn’t believe she could explain to him. He had asked her to try, he was her friend and he knew that he was the only one that knew she liked girls- He wanted her to be able to talk to somebody- he hated that his best friend ever felt alone.

“It’s not about that you just- you shouldn’t have done that.” She said angrily and walked towards the counter away from him.

“Why not? You’re always helping me get dates- why can’t I help you too?” He asked, hoping she could tell he was confused and not just being difficult.

“Because it’s different!” She snaped.

“You always say that but maybe it isn’t! Maybe I would understand. We’re friends, Robin. Just because we don’t have the same experiences doesn’t mean that I won’t be able to listen and help you. You told me about how much you liked Tammy- I thought you wanted to meet somebody.” He said, and Robin glanced at him, her hard gaze softening to something more awkward and nervous and familiar.

“It’s just…” she started, screwing up her face and trying to figure out how to explain something that frustrated her about herself endlessly. “It’s- fuck- okay,” she took a deep breath and tried to start, quickly scrubbing her face with her hand. 

“I knew Tammy didn’t like me back. It wasn’t real it was just a stupid crush and it hurt like hell but it was still safe.” She tried, words spilling out of her.

“Robin, Leslie’s a nice girl. She’s not going to hurt you.” He said, pained at the fact that he got to ask out and get rejected by 20 girls a week and Robin could just watch from afar.

“That’s not what I mean. I mean, it kind of is, you never really know it’s just- fuck.” she groaned in frustration, pacing for a moment before finally finding her words.

 “I don’t know what I’m doing, okay?” She said in a furious rush. “I’ve never done this before. It’s not like when you were ten and you got to walk up to a little girl on the playground and ask to hold her hand. I never got to learn how to flirt or ask my friends if the girl I like mentioned me or figure out when you’re allowed to put your arm around a date at the movies. 

“Robin…” Steve said softly, but she wasn’t done and he wasn’t going to stop her. She took another unsteady breath

“I didn’t get a first date, or a first kiss or a dance with my crush at the Snow Ball or-or ever get to ask my mom for dating advice or gotten to hear my dad sternly talk to my date before giving a nod of approval.” Robin sniffed hard, her eyes watering up as she valiantly fought away the tears.

“I didn’t get any of that. And I’m never going to.” She said, her voice now rough with emotion and a little quieter. She wiped away a stray bit of wetness from her eye and twisted her mouth up. “Nobody’s going to be pulling up in a limo to take me to prom.”

“I’m always going to be different, and it’s hard and it hurts that all of that is just gone now and I missed all of it and I can’t ever get it back. I’m never gonna be a kid at the Snow Ball looking at Kelsey Landin sitting by the punch and not understanding what was so wrong about wanting to ask her to dance. I couldn’t even doodle our names in a heart in my notebooks.” She took a gasping breath and wiped away a tear that finally fell. 

“It shouldn’t be like that.” She was almost talking to herself now, taking an angry breath and shaking her head. “I was just a kid. It wasn’t fair that for my entire life every person that has ever claimed to love me might have hated a piece of me so much that if I was sitting on the swing sets at recess holding hands with Jenny Becker instead of you then I would be utterly ostracized by everybody. Not just bullies. Friends, family, students, teachers, strangers. Grown-ass adults that would hate a child for the crime feeling the same way as every other kid but about the wrong kind of person.” Her voice was sad and proud and angry and valiantly holding down the waterworks that were going to come bursting through any second now. 

“I mean, Jesus, Steve, you’re the only person I ever told and I did it totally on a whim fueled by adrenaline and truth serum- you have no idea what it’s like not knowing if anybody else I care about might turn on me and ruin my life if they actually knew me. I still don’t even know if my parents would still fucking love me if they knew I wanted to watch a stupid movie with a pretty girl and put my head on her shoulder.” Robin was humiliated that she was fully crying now, sitting down behind the desk on the floor and unable to stop. She had kept all of this in for so long and now it was pouring out of her involuntarily. Steve walked away for a moment and she felt an irrational panic that he was going to leave and not wantt to be her friend anymore because she couldn't keep the ugly parts of it to herself and left any discussion of her sexuality at vague looks of hot or not when a girl came into the store. She watched him go to the door and her heart froze until he just reached out flipped the sign to closed before coming back and sitting next to her on the floor. 

Relief flooded her followed quickly by more misery that after all they’d been through her instincts still told her that she shouldn’t expect him to be okay with her saying any of this out loud and the tears came back in full force.

 Steve put his arm around her and pulled her close so she could cry into his shoulder and patted her back as comfortingly as he could as his heart just fucking shattered. He remembered when they were in the Starcourt bathroom and she said that if he really knew her then he wouldn’t even want to be her friend. The two of them had just been kidnapped and tortured by evil invading Russians armed with bone saws and floor eating acid and Robin was afraid to tell him that she had a crush on Tammy Thompson. Even worse is that she had watched him be King Dickhead Steve for years and he had almost certainly given her a reason to think he wouldn’t be okay with it at some point.

You know what, Byers? I’m actually kind of impressed because I always took you for a queer but turns out you’re just a screwup like your father. Was what he had said to Jonathan after telling Nancy to go to hell. He felt bad as soon as he said it, but that didn’t stop him. Back then he didn’t know how to be hurt he just knew how to be angry. He had been heartbroken, in love, and an absolute piece of shit about it. About thirty seconds after saying it Jonathan was beating the ever loving shit out of him and each punch really hit home the fact that he absolutely deserved it. 

He had actually thanked Jonathan later for very literally knocking some sense into him, and to his surprise, he forgave him. And it felt good. He hated who he used to be. He really did, so he had made a few phone calls and a few drop ins to make some heartfelt apologies to some surprised people that were genuinely shocked that he would ever have come around. The worst part is that he would never really know everybody that he hurt, never know who was out there overhearing him say something hateful and taking it to heart.

Robin was his favorite person. He wasn’t sure when it had happened but despite all his complaining she was somehow the only person he knew that really got him. She exploited that knowledge constantly and used it against him, sure, but she got him. He wished he could make her feel as understood as she did. But there would always be things like this that he never would’ve considered that she had gone through her whole life. 

Eventually her breathing calmed down and she sat up, her breathing a bit unsteady and her face red and puffy. She gave him a watery smile when she saw their matching tear tracks and she patted him gratefully on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry about that- that was-”

“You don’t need to apologize, Robin. I’m serious.” He said, looking at her so she knew he meant it. “If I’m the only one you have to talk to about this then I want to hear it all, even when it’s sad and it sucks. Especially when it’s sad and it sucks.” He said, and took a deep breath. “You’re not alone anymore. Anybody tries to mess with you or make you feel like shit just come and get me and I know that I’m not enough to make up for the entire world’s garbage but if there’s anything I can do to make all of that even a fraction less shitty for you then I’ll do it.”

He looked at his hands for a moment, feeling a confession of his own coming on.

“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, you know.” Steve said honestly, and Robin quirked an eyebrow. “Like, even though I was super popular and knew everybody I still only really hung out with Tommy and Carol and they were just the worst.” he sighed, not knowing how to say this without making it seem like he was trying to get out of responsibility for being a shithead. 

“I have never met two people so good at making somebody feel like a fucking loser like Tommy and Carol and there is nobody better at making you terrified of being that loser like they could. I’m not saying that they forced me to shove nerds against lockers or anything but any time I tried to do the right thing they’d just shut me down and taunt me until it felt like if I didn’t do whatever bullshit they wanted me to then everybody would think I wasn’t a real man or some shit and they’d drop me and then I wouldn’t be fucking King Steve anymore.” He shook his head, his hair wobbling as he swore and looked at Robin, unsure if he was getting across what he was trying to and he saw that she was listening, even if her thing had been bigger and more painful she still cared.

“And that’s exactly what happened. For the first time in my life I stood up to them instead of for them and Tommy punched me in the face and drove away. Never even tried to talk to me again. Then at school they started all kinds of rumors and talked shit about me all the time and then I wasn’t King Steve anymore and…” he trailed off and had a little smile “and then I was happy.” He said, in a little disbelief.

“I was thinking about that the other day, pointing at you and Tammy in Ms Clicks class and asking young Robin one day, one of those two people will be the only person you trust enough to tell that you’re not into dudes.” She said, a little mystically, and Steve burst out laughing, and Robin quickly followed. Their laughter calmed down and they knew that the storm had passed and they came out better on the other side of it. They grabbed each others hands to hoist each other back to a standing position and looked at  each other grinning.

“I didn’t fucking hate myself anymore, I got to follow my own instincts and do the right thing. Sure, Nancy dumped my ass and broke my heart and it actually felt so good to just…be sad. Without Tommy and Carol taunting and yelling at me until I felt so angry and pathetic that we’d spray paint her name on the movie theater again and I would’ve felt like absolute shit about it for the rest of my life. I was totally heartbroken but for the first time in my life I actually got to feel it and it. Then Dustin Henderson of all people comes sprinting at me one day and says that everybody else is busy and he needs my help.” He grinned. “It’s just stupid, right? All that time I only cared about being popular and if I could tell my younger self that someday I’d be working in at the video store for minimum and I’d spend all my time hanging out with a 15 year old egomaniac and a band geek that I was briefly a little bit in love with until she rejected me and the entire male population on the floor of a mall bathroom I’d do it and let him know up front that they’re honestly the reason that I’ve never been happier. Really rub his nose in it too.” He said, and Robin laughed aloud in that special way he recognized because it always preceded I was just about to say that.

“Is my face red?” She asked, touching it and being a bit satisfied at how healthy her skin felt after crying.

“Yeah but just give it a couple minutes.” He said, and she nodded. “Hey, when Leslie does get here you can go hide in the back or something if you really don’t want to talk to her, I know I overstepped, but if you need any advice on stuff you didn’t get a chance to learn let me know, no judgment- guaranteed.”

Robin furrowed her brow. “Wait- how exactly did your conversation with Leslie go yesterday? Did you just point at the screen and ask if she liked the movie?” She asked incredulously, and Steve slowly began to nod.

“Uhhh…yeah. That’s exactly what I did.” He said, and she started to laugh again. Steve grinned when he heard a laugh that seemed a little lighter now.

About an hour later the bell rang and Leslie came in. Steve nodded at her and went into the shelves to give quiet support and maybe some advice via arm gestures from behind Leslie, and Robin took a deep breath.

Both girls were extremely nervous, both giggling when their eyes met in a way that reminded Steve a bit of middle school. He smiled to himself and resented the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes when he thought about her getting a chance at simple, blushy, giggly, inexperienced romance for the first time. She deserved it, more than anybody.

“So, um, this is kind of a weird question but I stopped by yesterday to see if you have a copy of um…Desert Hearts?” Leslie said tentatively like she was giving a secret password at a speakeasy and hoping it was the right one.

Robin had a determined look on her face that didn’t necessarily give off a romantic vibe but he could feel her relentless bravery from where he stood.

“I’ve heard of it.” Robin tried to say mysteriously, waiting for the next part.

“And your friend with the hair- He said that, um, that you didn’t have it at the store but he said that you had a copy and that maybe…..you…might…want to watch it with me?” She said, finishing with a smile that was also a grimace. Steve was delighted at how awkward the girl who had seemed so cool all week had gotten.

“I…would like that very much.” Robin said, holding in all her excitement to seem casual when inside she was exploding.

“Cool.” Leslie said, and she and Robin stared at each other in gleeful silence until they made a plan to meet after her shift and Leslie left, waving awkwardly while walking out the door. The bell rang as the door shut and Robin turned around so she could catch her weight against the counter, but Steve’s eyes followed Leslie out the door first and saw her get into a car parked out front with a driver that was currently giving her a high five and obviously congratulating her. Steve waved subtly to the silhouette of the other wingman and he waved back before they drove  away.

Steve then walked up to Robin to see her smiling dreamily and starry eyed.

“Cool.” She said softly, and smiled again. She wasn’t much help around the store for the rest of the day, but every glance he got of the wistful Robin putting tapes back in the wrong places and saying cool in a whisper every few moments and giggling made it worth it. 

Saturday

    Steve waited anxiously outside Robin’s house before work and was annoying himself more and more every time his brain made the comparison of a parent waiting for their kid after their first day of school to ask how it went when they’ve spent the whole day worrying. It wasn’t like that, but he was still anxious for her to come outside.

    Robin opened the door and waved goodbye to her family and started towards the car. He could see the size of her grin from the moment she was in sight. 

    When she got into the car she was silent for a moment, and he refused to drive, only stared at her expectantly

    “So? How’d it go?”

    Robin was trying to play it cool despite the fact that she was bouncing in her chair. 

    “You know that whole list of things I thought I had missed out on and it was too late for? Let’s just say I…checked a couple things off.” She said coyly, and Steve grinned at her proudly and gave her a victorious shoulder pat. That’s when she exploded into squeals and all that sandy hair shaking around her as she bounced up and down.

    “Oh my god, Steve, it was amazing. She was so cool and pretty and funny and we had so much in common and we, um” She stopped and her cheeks turned red, and Steve’s eyebrows shot up.

    “I knew it. I knew that you had it in you to be a total chick magnet.” He said proudly, and she grinned at him, shrugging in concession.

    “Turns out I’m a natural Cassanova.” She said with only a hint of irony, and turned her head to look at him. “Thank you, Steve. I mean it.” she said with a tone so genuine that it almost sounded strange in her voice.

    Steve nodded and smiled back. “No worries. I’m your wingman, it’s what friends do. And I like seeing you happy.” 

            The End.

    “Well then…you did what you came to do, because I’m really really happy right now. You’re a good friend.” She said with a sweet finality. Things would stop being mushy and go back to normal but they’d never be the same.

As they began their drive to work they glanced at each other and smiled one more time. Robin had never been so grateful to have a friend like Steve, and Steve had never been so proud to have a friend like her. 

[science-lings]

I'm glad you had fun doing it because I had so much fun reading it! what about some headcanons about Tony and Peter spending some sort of holiday together? may and pepper would be good aswell!

okay, let’s do a few of my favorite holidays. 

Pride Month: 

Tony already has a bisexual-pride iron man suit featuring glitter and a rainbow confetti canon so he can fly over the crowd and shower the gays with colorful bits of paper. All of which are biodegradable and disintegrate before the parade is even over. He flys around and says hi to all the kids and is generally like his iron man 2 kind of presenter but like more queer. 

Peter’s first pride was as spider-man, he worked on his suit with Tony for a month and it’s not for fighting. Its fabric changes color on command so he can go between trans pride colors to ace pride colors to bi pride colors to rainbow and he can’t stop changing them the whole time. He also has a trans pride flag as a cape the whole time. He does a whole lot of interacting with people and spending his money on pins and has too many of them at this point. He sticks to Tony’s back to fly around and waving at the people below. 

May and Pepper, who do not like hurling in the air but still like being a part of things, end up taking charge of the stark industries funded avengers float (the main six if we want to care about civil war or not idc) each with a different pride-themed outfit even if they didn’t completely co-respond with the avengers actual identities. Like I headcanon Steve as straight but maybe trans idk, he’s a confused old man that has to take several days to research the gays and then realizes OH THAT’S A SLUR WHOOPS. 

I don’t know that the avenger's float would look like but if spider man is part of it, he’s on iron man’s back and even in paper mache looks very excited. The next year they go as themselves and go all out with face paint and stuff. Tony is already good at makeup so he gives Peter some crazy blue, purple, and pink eyeshadow and even some sharp eyeliner. They went all out with outfits and for some reason, no one could recognize Tony Stark when he has so much makeup on and fishnet tights. May bleached and dyed her hair rainbow because Tony said he’d pay for it and she was not one to pass up free fun. Pepper got a rainbow pantsuit and rainbow heart glasses and resumed work as normal. She didn’t bring it up. 

Halloween:

Tony is experienced in elaborate Halloween costumes that only celebrities can afford. It started at MIT before that he wasn’t allowed to do anything for Halloween because Howard is a dick. Tony has gone from everything from a demon and a vampire to slutty Captain America and slutty Darth Vader. He thinks he’s funny. He went to the superhero-themed met gala as a gender-bent black widow, he dyed his hair red and wore classy black leather. That was the year he convinced Natasha to come and she wore an Iron Man themed dress that showed off her strong arms and featured a cloak. It also featured a glowing fully functioning arc reactor because Tony didn’t do things halfway.  

May had always helped Peter with making his own Halloween costumes and since he's pretty proven to be good at sewing, he usually makes his own. Usually, they weren’t amazing but he worked hard on them. He turned some old dented metal from a destroyed car into a partially functioning iron man suit that he wore for several Halloweens and refuses to show Tony but eventually it just happens. 

Together with Tony’s fashion sense and Peter’s enthusiasm, they become an unstoppable Halloween team and go all out every single year. Tony made a more family-friendly Darth Vader as Peter went as Luke Skywalker, both with real lightsabers that they had way too much fun making. However, he couldn’t take it to school. Thankfully a Han Solo flavored Ned and a for some reason Goth Princess Leia themed MJ came over to Stark Tower for a chill Halloween party and got so see the lightsabers. Under heavy supervision by an Obi-Wan Kenobi Aunt May. She only withstood the fake beard for pictures.  

Pepper goes to work as a clown every year and her only explanation is that its symbolism for her life. Before she was CEO she dressed up as a strawberry as for a while that was the scariest thing to her. 

EXTRA:

Tony has a massive panic attack every Fourth of July. Then he has cheeseburgers with his family that May makes because Tony would find a way to start a fire and no one wants to deal with that. 

Tony has a panic attack every Christmas as it’s the time that always reminds him of his parent's death. Then he watches the grinch four times in a row. He has memorized the whole film as a coping mechanism. 

May and Peter go out for Italian every valentine’s day and reminisce on happy story about ben before getting sad and gorging on breadsticks again. 

okay this is long again whoopsies 

[millenniumfae]

Reyes Vidal Theories And Headcanons

To start off, we’ll begin with all the canon facts we know about our favorite Kadara King, almost all thanks to his writer’s twitter;

He’s in his late twenties

He’s from Chile (born and raised?)

His first language is Spanish, but speaks English (fluently?)

After arriving to Andromeda but before the Nexus Uprising, he was a shuttle pilot assigned to Initiative callsign ‘Anubis’

He’s a dog person

Fan of alcohol??

And that’s it. Everything else about him is all speculation and random headcanons. ME:A has no further single-player DLC upcoming. No new comics, either. It’s really sad to say, but it seems likely that the canon story of Reyes Vidal ended with Mass Effect: Andromeda.

But not if I have anything to say about it! Below are my various Reyes Vidal headcanons and theories. And more to come, along with other Mass Effect characters!

1) Reyes as a ‘Shuttle Pilot’

People in the game sometimes describe flying vehicles as a ‘shuttle’, but technically, a ‘shuttle’ isn’t a type of vehicle, it’s the name for a delivery service - short routes, higher frequency, simple fare. You can shuttle passengers or objects place to place. If Reyes was a ‘shuttle pilot’, that meant he was flying things to-and-fro the Nexus on the Initiative’s orders, delivering people and goods by standardized rates.

We’ve already known a shuttle pilot in the franchise before; Steve Cortez of Mass Effect 3 was the Normandy’s shuttle pilot, because he had to deliver the ground team to-and-fro the ship regularly. Those fugly box-like skycars you see in the ME franchise seem to be Alliance/Initiative standard vehicles, described as ‘UT-47′s by Steven in 3, or a ‘Kodiak’ for similar models. Steve also takes Shepard on a skycar ride in the Citadel DLC, and talks about his piloting passion as if they were indeed on a plane and not a car (”There’s a lot about this bird you don’t know/Pilots would wear G-suits”).

Plus, Steve also trained by flying fighter jets, not ‘cars’. So when we say a character is a shuttle pilot, we really do mean pilot and not ‘flying car driver’. Reyes is a pilot in all sense of the word. Even though those boxy cars can indeed use FTL drive to fly between systems and planets, Reyes worked under the call-sign ‘Anubis’ so we can assume he flew a plane specifically. Aviation call-signs are for aircrafts and not cars. The dock manager would ask for the pilot’s verification, and the pilot would respond with the aircraft’s verification name and number - N-503 call-sign ‘Anubis’.

We never see him flying in-game. On the mission we meet Reyes’ ex Zia, we do see his plane outside the house where the supposed cargo was to be. It’s a poopy-brown, double-turbine-winged helicopter thing, and it’s also the plane he escapes onto if you save Sloane. He’s never flying it, though, it’s always him hopping in/off.

I’ve seen some fics where that’s actually where he sleeps, which I don’t think would be realistic - that plane sees a modest amount of action, not just during fights but also during ambient Kadara Port skydrops - you see it flying by sometimes. Inside isn’t big, you see like three seats and nothing else, good for five people maximum. Reyes would have to have this plane flight-ready at a moment’s notice. He’s still smuggling, after all.

It’s a very different plane from all the others you see. It’s not a boring basic Initiative box car, it’s not a bubbly green Angaran car, it’s not a green mess like the Kett’s. The only time you see a plane like that is during the Meridian final battle, where there’s two-three of those same planes, no matter if it’s Sloane or Reyes. I think it’s a plane that was created after the Nexus Uprising, crafted specifically by exiles. You find guns unique to exiles, after all, why not planes? Kadara exiles have wind turbine engineers, doctors, and not to mention the Angara who must be involved. They gotta have some people who can design and produce good planes. It’d be poetic if Reyes’ plane was a hybrid of Angaran and Milky Way engineering.

2) Reyes being Chilean, Brown, and Bi

I’ve said this before, but I was never happy with how Reyes was handled as a Latino man. I’m not Latinx myself, I’m Asian, so I speak from a different perspective of color. Reyes is a token Latinx person in the game, and he (along with his ex Zia) have thick accents and a sexualized history/personality. His accent in particular is super grating, since it’s faked by a white British actor and you can definitely hear it. As an Asian person, I am NOT a fan of seeing faked accents pasted onto a stereotyped love interest.

So when we see a character like Reyes, we make the best of it. We make him ours, and not Bioware’s very spotty writing. Canonically, Reyes is a flirty spicy Latino bi man, but he’s more than that. Romanced or not, you get to see the man behind that mask. He’s silly, insecure, and very intelligent. He’s good with guns, explosives, and planes. He can play politics to the point where he can become the driving force behind an entire planet.

But all that canon stuff still doesn’t erase the spots on Bioware’s record when it comes to making Reyes. They wanted to create a shady morally grey love interest, and Reyes is the direction they took.

Us fans, on the other hand, can actually give Reyes as a bi Chilean man some weight. We can write his Spanish as actually being specific to Chile, we can explore his sexuality the way bi people do. The Mass Effect universe takes place about 160+ years from now. It’s been more than a century. We all know that progress isn’t linear, but for the sake of our liberation, we’ll say that humanity’s ideals of sexual/racial politics have improved.

So unlike us, maybe Reyes didn’t grow up in a world that attacks brown/queer people. Today, being brown means you’re ashamed of your skin color before kindergarten, and being bi means your sexual journey is hindered by marginalization. Reyes, on the other hand, might have not faced these things at all. Humans of the Mass Effect world might see queerphobia/racism as something incredibly archaic, like oppressing redheads.

Not like Bioware’s good at portraying this type of progress. Sure, we never see anti-lgbt rhetoric in-game, nor marginalization of brown humans, but we don’t see any true evidence that the Mass Effect world has gotten rid of these things. I don’t for a second believe that there would be so many straight humans 160+ years from now. Or so many aliens that fall squarely into the human gender binary.

Headcanon; Reyes, being raised on Earth, sees himself as brown and knows the bloody history behind it. His skin color matters to him much the same way my browness matters to me - its a connection to your family, your people, and the way you look at yourself in the mirror. And he doesn’t identify as bisexual as loudly as many of us do, but not because he doesn’t like lgbt culture. He’ll checkmark the ‘bi’ box if you asked him to write out a census survey, I just think he’s one of those people who’s kinda casual about it. Especially if he doesn’t face the marginalization we do.

But being a queer man means he’s got that flamboyant side a lot of us do. He’s romantically cheesy, he likes red wine over candlelit dinners, he finds flower arrangements beautiful, he’ll go to great lengths to make sure he looks and smells nice (even on Kadara’s nasty sulfer atmosphere), he think he looks amazing in a fitted suitdress. And if he could, he’d repaint his plane to be a nicer color other than that fugly brown, like a sweet duochrome blue-purple, but unfortunately its a color that blends in well with Kadara’s landscape.

3) Reyes as the Charlatan

What’s canon about the Collective? They work from the shadows, cultivate poison, steal supplies, have torture rooms where they keep captured Outlaws, and information between them can get muddled or compromised. They’re not a pretty bunch, and the Charlatan isn’t a pretty business.

Compared to the Outcasts, they’re definitely the more gentle organization. And perhaps with the Outcasts out of the picture, they drop a lot of the shadier stuff they do, what with no one left to torture and assassinate. But their business still runs on crime, opposing the Initiative and the Angara directly at times - such as stealing supplies, illegal mining and producing of resources, and drugs. And Reyes oversees all of that.

You can also compare Reyes’ crimes to Vetra, who’s also a smuggler, but a lot less shady. Vetra does a lot of things without bloodshed or violence, and doesn’t even seem to steal things. Instead, she makes business deals that slip underneath the red tape and break regulations. Reyes, however, had to work under Sloane’s violence for many a month, and adopted immoral methods to work around her.

I truly believe Reyes isn’t supposed to be a violent man who likes bloodshed and murder. He sees it as necessary, and his goals are worth getting his hands dirty. Reyes wasn’t just scared about Ryder finding out he lied, he’s worried about the whole, you know, Collectives being a violent mob gang thing. As Kadara improves, he lets up.

When he’s not hanging out in Tatarus, out smuggling, or doing various other shady things, I headcanon Reyes as actually having multiple places to sleep and hie away. Not the Collective Base, though. No one there has ever met the Charlatan, and even the leader, Crux, only gets orders as messages. Before the big reveal, Reyes doesn’t confess any connection to the Collective. He wouldn’t show up at the base. His living spaces are probably within Kadara Port’s various shitty apartments, and also hideouts in the badlands.

Always he’ll be on call for Charlatan business. Even at the Meridian party, he’s clicking away at his omni-tool while talking to Ryder. He keeps odd hours, probably only managing minimal sleep schedules. And when he’s not available, his most trustworthy representatives take up his mantle. And if Sloane’s killed, he only gets more busy.

With an outpost settled, there’s legitimate money to make and Reyes gets right on that. I assume that, at first, establishing the outpost costs a lot more money than it makes, but having an initiative settlement eventually draws in a lot of resources and commerce. Reyes isn’t just the leader of Kadara Port, he’s the King of Kadara the planet and the outpost is part of his jurisdiction. Ditaeon may have been Ryder’s doing, but it’s Reyes’ town now.

4) Reyes and Ryder - Love And Trust

“He already lied to you once. Guys like that don’t stop lying,” - Vetra.

A romanced Ryder is obviously a big deal to Reyes. He even confesses to his right-hand woman Keema that he worried about what Ryder might think about him, and that’s something pretty personal to exclaim. He’s in deep and his self-esteem is heavily affected by what Ryder says to him. If you don’t decide to kiss him on the rooftop, you can instead say that he’s more genuine than you thought, which actually seems to hurt him.

There’s an animation difference between Scott and Sara - Reyes will slide right up against Scott’s personal space during their first meeting at Kralla’s Song, while he’ll stay a modest distance away from Sara. To our eyes, seeing an unknown, shifty man being so close to a woman at a bar is pretty creepy and scary. You, as a man, do not touch a woman you don’t know. To us, being in a place like Kadara Port and alone at a pirate bar means violence against women is a fear at the forefront of our minds.

He’s so uncomfortably close to Scott, though, probably in an effort to intimidate him slightly. But he’s not gonna pull that shit on Sara, because that would mean something completely different.

Reyes makes a big deal about being the perfect gentleman, which is something of a rhetoric joke. Because he’s not a gentleman when it comes to honesty and honor; he steals, cheats, and lies, he brought a sniper to the duel. But he is a gentleman when it comes to compassion and sympathy. He set up a soup kitchen for the slums. He donates money to the clinic. He prioritizes the Angara native to Kadara. He lifts the ‘protection fee’ nonsense and doesn’t exile people to the badlands.

He said he came to Andromeda to ‘be someone’. I think that’s supposed to be a double-meaning. He wants to be important to people, but why rule from the shadows if that’s the case? Because he wants to make a difference. He actually does want to help people and set up an Initiative outpost and dispense justice. That’s the ‘someone’ Reyes wanted to be all his life, and it grew into a passion when he finally upped and abandoned the Nexus.

Being a ‘gentleman’ is kinda old-fashioned, but Reyes seems to have a special interest in old-fashioned stuff, playing Soft Jazz while dancing quietly with Ryder. I think it’s just something he enjoys, like having actual full-blown romantic dates. Too bad he rarely has the opportunity to explore them.

About Zia; his alleged ‘ex’ is a mystery. Umi, a bartender, pinpoints her as an ex-girlfriend, but Reyes will say they merely had a few drinks and things apparently never went far. And when Zia shows up, there’s no love lost between the two of them, even though Zia apparently knows Reyes well enough. Relationships with a tail-end like that were probably never serious, but still had enough time invested to become actual, significant history.

I don’t know why Bioware wanted to write, direct, code, and implant this mission, as if it adds something to Reyes’ characterization. Zia in particular is a unique character model, which is weird because very few characters have a special face and texture. What does Zia mean to Reyes? To us?

I think Zia was an old smuggling/piloting partner of Reyes, and the two of them might have struck a connection during the first hopeless months of the Andromeda Initiative. Zia grew to know Reyes as a selfish man with no friends, split off from him and ran a competitive smuggling shtick, and even says a romanced Ryder will soon know how wrong they were to place faith in him. Its a side of Reyes we don’t hear from anyone else, and I think it’s meant to shake our confidence in Reyes as the future leader of Kadara - or as Ryder’s love interest.

After all, why would Reyes ask the Pathfinder for help in finding some random lost cargo? Because it was probably something super important. Worth not just money, but morality too. Reyes wouldn’t tell someone as unsubtle as Ryder that they were about to look for some misplaced escaped ark survivors (or whatever’s also super important, I dunno), or everyone and their mother would know they were up to something big.

Zia lured Reyes with the promise of something very big, and tried to take him down because she wanted to make more money. Reyes, on the other hand, isn’t completely money-driven. Zia represents the Charlatan we were told to fear, while Reyes is the true face behind the shadows. And after all that business rivalry, Reyes still buries her.

But Zia still says Reyes is a selfish man, and she knows him much better than Ryder does. Why would a fellow amoral smuggler care if someone was selfish or not? Was Reyes selfish to her specifically? Like, in a bad lover way? That’d suck, but he probably didn’t feel that much affection towards Zia in the first place. Or did Zia have ulterior motives that Reyes didn’t agree with, and cut off contact because Zia wanted to cross lines Reyes didn’t feel comfortable with? That’d be a nicer way of looking at it. Reyes was ‘selfish’ because Zia wanted to, I dunno, hit civilians for extra cash and Reyes said no.

My headcanon; with Ryder, Reyes definitely doesn’t take things super casual like he probably did with Zia. He eventually dedicates himself to them, and invests a lot of his emotions into their relationship. It might even be something he never did before, but a hero’s love is worth so much to him. He can’t leave Kadara, and Ryder can’t stay with him (at least at first). And secrets will continue to bloom between them. But Reyes will continue to improve himself, ‘becoming someone’ to not just Kadara, but to Ryder.

5) Random and MISC

Being an exile-in-an-outlaw-town-during-a-cluster-wide-war-against-the-Kett-and-the-Scourge means shitty food. Which Reyes hates and he does his best to avoid the Jim Bakker bucket-esque MREs that the Initiative hands out. And Angaran nutrient paste doesn’t sit right with Milky Way species, so he doesn’t eat that either. Life on the frontier means adopting to local flora and fauna, which means old fashioned Angaran dishes like Adhi roast, Kaerkyn shell soup, Taurg flank steak, and Drall bits. But no, he doesn’t cook if he can help it - he’s not terrible, just not good, and he’ll instead buy food from vendors on Kadara Port, or order it from the bar. And he’ll get dessert when he can, too.

And he loves Kadara Port. It’s his own little cyberpunk neon noir city, even if it does smell vaguely of sulfur. He loves looking out the window and seeing the bright glowing signs overlapping each other, hearing the shady bustle of exiles 24/7, the patter of acidic rain. When he begins to get involved with Ryder, he begins to take extra time to gaze at the city’s horizon and be sentimental. That’s what falling in love does to a person.

He’s canonically a dog person, and by dog we do include Mass Effect’s alien dogs such as adhi. The Collective is trying to domesticate wild Adhi, which is a project Reyes started to make them into guards and weapons, but a side of him just loves the idea of having an adhi as a pet. If he could, he’d have five rescue pups of varying breeds (and species), posting those Sexy Dog Instagram Photos of all of them at the beach, or something.

Time as the Charlatan means less time to work out. So his muscles aren’t big, and he’s got enough fat to cover them, too. If he undressed, you’d see that he’s smaller than his clothing would imply, no Ripped Taint or Tight Glutes. Lotsa hair, though, all down his chest and pelvis and legs. He actually doesn’t really like it, but he only has resources to shave his jaw.

All his outfits are the typical humanwear that all colonists to Andromeda have access too, but with extra touches because he Cares about his appearance. Fancy gloves, a nifty belt with a shiny buckle. He uses the slighest amount of product to slick his hair up, gotta stretch it out until he can find an Andromeda replacement. Uses a nice deodorant, and will get expensive cologne when he has the chance.

He hates the cold, and Kadara has modest winters that won’t freeze the water but will spread a frost everywhere. That’s already too much for him, and throughout the whole season he’s more tired, grumpy, and seasonally depressed. When spring breaks through again, he gets a burst of energy and happiness from the relief.

If Ryder ever lives with him for an extended period, they’ll quickly learn the difference between a 22-year-old’s living space, and an almost-30′s living space. Perhaps with Sloane out of the picture, Reyes gets a legit place to live and invests in real furniture and interior decor, while Ryder’s still stuck in that college student trash stage. Reyes forbids scratches on the table, or bath towels crumbled up, or windows left open during the rain, etc. Ryder think its cute that Reyes is so domestic, Reyes is just trying to save his expensive couch from shoes on the cushions.