#also i didn't mention this but feel free to pitch in some of your own!

[heegyukeluv]

a hundred sunsets (sjy)

pairing: jake x afab!reader

synopsis: Using a dating app in order to find a lover rarely worked properly to you, which was the reason you never planned to do so. But bumping into someone so charming as you texted your possible future love interest wasn’t on your plans either. 

my's note: hello!!! it's not only my first time writing in english but also my first time using tumblr to post a story  i’m honestly kinda nervoussjdjdjs. a few things I want to say before anything: those are fictional characters, also i know almost nothing when it comes to other country’s educational systems sooo i’m sorry if something is off, and mostly important: enjoy!!! 

i wasn't planning to write this much but i think i got a little carried away lol

warnings: quick mention of alcohol (all characters are of age!), slow burn kinda?, at least one ‘kms’ joke srry, strangers to friends to lovers, usage of pet names such as sweetheart, pretty, sugar, etc etc etc.., lot of language, jake is downnn baddd, there’s a slightly jay x y/n moment (they go on a date lol) but not too much dw!!!, eventual smut (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT) - jake is kinda a sub, oral sex (both), unprotected sex (don’t do it!!!), j. cums inside (consensual), overstimulation (m), slight dacryphilia. enha’s jay, sunghoon and heeseung + lesserafim’s yunjin and chaewon as side characters. LMK IF I FORGOT SOMETHING.

wc: 22k

NOT PROOFREAD.

EXTRA (epilogue kinda?)

As comfortable as your couch was and even though you very much loved watching “Pitch Perfect”, that wasn't the fun weekend you had planned, actually you didn't plan anything at all. But there you were, licking your fingertips in order to clean up the salt flakes of the chips you devoured during the last minutes.

It wasn't like you really cared about what your lifestyle was turning into during the few months that passed by, opting to stay at home doing your little things here and there, taking a fair break from the crazy parties at suspicious places alongside a lame try to hang out with very random people... 

The initial excuse of "I'll focus more on my studies" was holding a bit, however you couldn't help but feel bored at your choices at this point. 

You sighed, opening the message app on your phone and re-reading the last texts you received in your friend group.

Jinnie 💘: my sweet little y/n i’ve been here watching you ROT down in your apartment and i’m tired!!! sure you don’t wanna party anymore or wtv BUT FOR GOD’S SAKE i love you but truth be said YOU NEED TO GET LAID!!!! download the app pleeeeasseeee it’s not like you’re gonna match with a weirdo (i guess Chaebae 💖: Worst case scenario you just call me and I go to rescue you with my very muscly arms Best case scenario you win a good fuck !

You laughed again at the texts, picturing Chaewon with her baby face and a very packed body. Would she be able to really punch someone on the face in order to protect you? For sure she would. And she didn't even need muscly arms or whatever. 

Being friends for God knows how long you thought about trusting them. They wouldn’t try to mislead you, right? 

You always had little to no interest in dating apps. The few times you tried you constantly felt like you were practically selling yourself as some product with specific traits, where the buyer doesn't have enough chance to get to know more parts of you before anything, chasing for the next step so eagerly.

Although your heart beats fast for people you just met seemingly outwardly interesting, the real feeling of wanting to be with them, to go out on dates, to trust enough to let parts of yourself to be shown comfortably needs time and usually grows slowly.

You never really dated anyone in order to fulfill momentary desires, your own body wouldn't let it happen as you lose interest as soon as you feel too pressured by the other part or when the connection wasn’t clicking right.

Chaewon and Yunjin were different though. They had the free spirit to just hit that one night stand and be happy about it. You were happy about it, loving to listen to their crazy dates and nights out, sharing the most terrific stories about it while drinking some wine on your balcony.

Nevertheless, you were kinda desperate. Your last relationship ended one year ago, the one you rooted for a very long time – two years and five months, to be exact, until one day you caught him cheating on you with one of his "best friends that you don’t have to worry, baby". Very much cliché but also a big trauma in your life, leading you to this very moment of neediness but not enough courage to trust someone again.

Since then you have been hooking up once and a while with random people you met at parties, but never felt right or enough especially because you tried so hard to either not get attached – and with that lose the brief sexual interest – or on the very other side of the hand, to build up some kind of relationship.

Every single one turning into a big failure. 

Sighing again, your fingers typed on the screen keyboard.

You: Can you send me the name again?  Chaebae 💖: OH??? YUNJIN Jinnie 💘: I KNOW [LFS] hope you enjoy!! hihi You: What's with the acronym lol Chaebae 💖: "Love at First Sight"  You: Oh god And you rly think it’s a good idea? Chaebae 💖: ..yeah? Jinnie 💘: a great idea actually! You chuckled. What could go wrong?

Everything went wrong.

Not every single thing, but a bunch for sure. 

You didn’t know if your taste was too specific or if overall men were just that boring. You had good features, your pics weren’t that bad either and your personality… Liking video games, some astronomical stuff, movies and dogs couldn’t be a big red flag, right? 

But every match got you thinking “what happened to the old ‘hi, how are you?’”. Maybe because of those exact traits you put on display made the weird nerds attracted to you as a potential match, thinking their fantasies would be fulfilled by you. 

Of course you understand people on those kinds of apps sometimes have very clear goals setted, but how frustrating is it to try to have a good conversation and the least creepy answer be “is it weird that i want you sucking me while i play league of legends? lmao”?

No matter how defeated you were feeling you weren’t one to give up. And that leads to this very moment as you type fast on your phone with your current attempt. 

Park Jongseong, or just Jay, was hot. Like, very hot. And his talking wasn’t going to weird places so far, which at this point was a big win. He was funny and somewhat endearing, sharing avidaly about his travels and his music interests with so much passion that you started to rethink your own life choices thus far – was the ongoing college degree a good choice? Should you give up everything and start to live as an artist? 

Lost in your train of thoughts about maybe having found somebody worthy of your time as you walked down the hallway heading to your next lecture of the day, you didn���t expect to hit your face straight into someone’s chest. A very strong and hard chest by the way, you thought briefly, scented with some woody essence that got straight into your senses. The sweet voice of the owner wasn’t expected either.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry!”, the boy uttered with a worried tone looking down at you trying to see if he had hurt you in some way. You almost didn’t catch his thick accent. “Are you okay?” he questioned softly, still concerned. You blinked a few times before coming back to reality, looking up confused at his face and answering hurriedly with slightly widened eyes.

“I’m the one who should be sorry! God, I’m so stupid, I should be more careful,” you started to blather as you lost yourself in that pretty face you just hit into. The whole combo was breathtaking. Plump glossy red lips and puppy eyes full of worry; the silky brown hair was just as normal as any other brown hair but what the fuck was that face? “I was looking down at my phone and I didn’t see y–”, you were interrupted by the honeyed voice again “I mean, I was also using my phone and didn’t see you either,” he chuckled. “You’re fine, sweetheart.”

Your eyes widened even more at the same time as a smirk decorated his beautiful lips. You don’t know what got you more flustered, the pet name or the double meaning of that simple phrase. You could feel your cheeks burning hard and your first instinct was to look down to the floor and wonder if hiding yourself beneath the tile was a good option.

“Well, sorry again,” he said and you forced yourself to swallow down the saliva that got stuck on your throat and to look up again, facing now a cute small and shy smile that made your heart beat fast. Too fast. “See ya!” and just like that he went his own way, not even waiting for your response.

You were sure someone had glued the sole of your shoes on the ground while you two had that small and awkward talk, because there’s no way your legs stopped working properly just because of him.

You looked over your shoulder in order to see his back going away but it was already too late, since he wasn’t around anymore. You thought to yourself he was certainly a new student, because you would have noticed him sooner. How could you not?

His chocolate eyes and sweet voice were the only things on your mind as you picked up your phone to text back Jay, trembling a bit from the encounter still.

You: of course we can see each other this friday!! :) 

You tried your best to fully focus on your upcoming assignments, but your library time has reduced quite a bit and even in your house your attention was wandering constantly. For the last three days you walked around your whole campus trying so hard to bump into that good-looking visage one more time, going back and forth that hallway hoping to see that guy.

Describing his appearance to Chaewon and Yunjin didn’t help a bit, especially because everything you could remember was his sweet voice, his silky brown hair and his very beautiful smile. Just like any other guy. 

But he wasn’t. 

He looked smooth, confident and whatever other compliment you could build to him – like, you never really met him to know more than just the appearance, and his looks exuded that so you just guessed. The fucking “sweetheart” coming from his mouth sounded too good for your own heart. And that was everything you got from him. Not even a glimpse of something else like what classes he got or anything like that.

“I don’t know, I’m starting to worry you are seeing ghosts or making people up, girl”, Yunjin said as her hands unwrapped her sandwich right before she took a big bite.

“I’m not!” you whined with a pout. “I swear to god he exists. I need him to exist. He’s too fine,” you whispered the last part, even though they both heard you.

“This is definitely something someone who is starting to see things would say, y’know that, right?” Chaewon said with a laugh, making you chuckle a bit because, well, it’s true. How does one prove a person exists given that no one but you saw him?

The campus was big enough for you not to see him ever again, however after the quick encounter you noticed he walked towards the end of the hallway, to classes that only someone with an area of study similar to yours would go to.

“This is frustrating,” you stated, looking at the people wandering around still hoping to see him. Your lunch already forgotten in front of you.

“Don’t you have a date in like a few hours?” Chaewon questioned with a raised eyebrow. “Shouldn’t we be worrying about you and that hot Jay guy instead of you and the we-don’t-even-know-if-he-exists guy?”

“She’s right, baby,” Yunjin added. “Jay looks adorable. You should focus on him.”

You nodded defeated, sighing and forcing yourself to re-read your texts with the said guy. “You’re right”, you smiled a bit.

Jay: Looking forward to our date tonight! <3

You: yeah, me too :) 

And just like that the afternoon has arrived and you got yourself in a dilemma of clothing and accessories and shoes and makeup and even between your perfumes! Everything seemed terrible together, nothing was right, no cloth piece looked good enough to match Jay’s insane visuals and taste in style. Through his photos you noticed the way he fashioned himself, wearing fancy brands with a generous constancy, looking too good for yourself.

You were on the verge of crying when Yunjin called you, as if she felt in her guts you needed her.

“Hey,” you answered the call, quickly accepting the change to a video call and propping your phone on your desk. “How we doin’, baby?” She asked curiously with a big excited smile. “Why aren’t you ready yet?” You noticed she had makeup on and was doing her hair while talking to you.

“Not doing well, Jinnie…” you pouted, looking at the mess around you. You were dealing with a lot of emotions at the same time and felt so lost. “I don’t know what to wear,” you said sincerely. “I feel like nothing I have here is enough to match Jay’s.”

In your defense, it’s been a long time since you ever went on a date, especially a dinner date and with someone so elegant like Jay.

You weren’t expecting Yunjin almost screaming at you. “Don’t you dare to say anything like that ever again!” You startled. “Y/N, you will look good in any clothing you decide to wear, because you are hot. Not your clothes or accessories or anything. They just complement your own beauty!”

While Chaewon normally was the one who would speak up for the whole group in terms of defending her girls, Yunjin worked on the other part of bringing the mood and the self esteem up. And both of them always did a great job.

“You are so fucking right, Yunjin,” she smiled proudly after you spoke, continuing her job on doing her hair.

You looked around one more time, getting out of the frame just to change yourself in a simple black dress long enough to cover half of your tights and the exact amount of tightness that hugged your curves with close perfection. “Thoughts?” You appeared again in front of the camera after a few minutes of trying some accessories.

“Sexy. And pretty. You are so getting laid tonight!” You chuckled. “I think I’m not the only one, though?” You wiggled your eyebrows playfully and she just giggled, before saying a quick goodbye and ending the call.

Just like you, she had things to get done. 

Putting on some lip gloss as a final touch, you were ready. And just in time as you felt your phone vibrating inside your purse with Jay's text.

Jay: I’m here :) You: Coming!

The big car greeting the door of your building was expected at some point, nonetheless your shocking expression was hardly disguised with a nervous smile. As Jay stepped out of his car, you quickly analyzed his outfit and had to take a breath because his white button up shirt with the sophisticated black trousers was getting yourself out of orbit. You felt a little dizzy when his hand positioned on your waist as he leaned to greet you with a little kiss on the cheek and a pretty smile.

He opened the door for you and when you both had settled down on the car seat, he said “You look great, Y/N”. With his help, you put on the seatbelt and thanked with a kind smile. "You look good yourself too, Jay."

The drive to the restaurant was quite normal, a few words being exchanged here and there, the conversation was pretty ordinary. You were a pile of nerves and you had to almost physically stop yourself from moving your legs up and down due to the feeling of anxiety. It’s not like Jay was making you uncomfortable, but you didn’t felt too comfortable either. The whole fancy type of thing was getting you too hesitant for a first date. You were more like a cafe date girly, stargazing at some open air park or maybe a picnic. Now you were blaming yourself for not letting that out beforehand.

Jay parked the car at the parking lot. “We’re here”, his voice broke you out of your mind and when you glanced up at the restaurant you felt like dying inside.

Too fancy.

“It’s… amazing,” was everything that slipped out your mouth as you got out of the car with Jay’s help. “I’m glad you liked it, princess.”

The pet name didn’t get you the much you hoped it would, actually it made you think about the fucking hallway guy and his smooth “sweetheart” saying, sending shivers down your spine.

When both of you reached the table reserved under the name Park Jongseong and you looked through the menu, you knew you were fucked up. With no shame, though, you asked “Could you order for me? I know little to no ingredients on this paper.”

Jay let a small breathy laugh and nodded ordering for both of you. He picked a wine impressively saying the name and the year and whatever other things wines have in its description trying to impress you. However, your focus was on the view that you finally noticed on your right side that faced a big window. The night sky was impressive and the moon was shining prettily. 

“Enjoying the view?” he asked after sipping a bit of his wine. “Yeah, it’s incredible. I love the moon, actually I–” you didn’t had the chance to even start on your probably long talk about how much interested you are in the moon, being cutted of by Jay.

“Did you know that once I almost had the chance to go to the moon?” Your head snapped so fast towards his direction that you thought you would break your neck. “What?” The discredited and doubtful expression adorning your face was so clear still you were not afraid of showing it off.

With that, you discovered a not so good part of Jay: his somewhat annoying and exaggerated personality of trying to impress you with exorbitant things, too different from the texts you guys had exchanged. You had no interest knowing that his first birthday present was diamonds or that his dad bought him a car even before he turned eighteen. Let alone that he traveled to every single place you said during the conversation.

The way he would blurt out interrupting you in order to say "It's so amazing there! You would love the beaches and the museums, and the..." so it goes, every single time was really angering you.

Feeling left out in a duo talk was a new experience to you. How could someone be so full of himself and act like his life is the only one that matters? His gentlemanly aura was falling down very fast.

“You don’t seem to be enjoying our date,” he pointed with elegance when you went full quiet, looking directly at you. You sipped a bit of the wine that actually tasted too bad for your palate, noticing how half of your food was left out on your plate. You forced yourself to eat as much as you could handle, but the aftertaste of that food was worse than the taste itself. 

“Oh, now you noticed me,” you artificially smiled.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked, a bit offended. You got nervous, but didn’t let that get on you. “I mean that for the past two hours all you talk about is yourself. At first I was like ‘okay, this is how we know each other!’, but since then I haven’t had the chance to talk about anything related to myself, like my likings or whatever,” you vented, having to take a deep breath and drink some more wine afterwards. 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t get it,” Jay seemed honestly confused.

“Are you stupid?” the question slipped your tongue a bit too fast for your own thinking. You widened your eyes and covered your mouth with your hand. “I’m sorry I–” 

“I don’t think I’m stupid, but I really don’t get it. It’s my first date in a while and I don’t really remember having to listen to the girls at all…”

Squinting, you questioned genuinely, “What do you mean? Like, the girls you took out on dates just… listened to you bragging about diamonds and travels?” He kinda mimicked your expression and replied as if it was obvious “...Yeah…” 

After you blinked a few times you recomposed yourself and drank the whole wine on your glass at one go wishing you could just get drunk enough to forget that night. Jay watched you with a fazed expression as you got up from your chair. “I’m sure you’ll find someone that likes you the way you are. But with all due respect, to me, you kinda… Y’know. So I’m leaving.” You pointed with your thumb to your back, not even knowing if the exit was that way. “It was… an experience, I think.” You forced a smile. “Do I have to pay for something?” 

“No, don’t worry about that,” he was quick in his response, feeling a bit ashamed and soon adding “But I can get you home, you just have to wait for me to p–”

“Nah, I’m fine. I’ll call a cab or whatever,” you interrupted him as soon as you could, not wanting to spend any more second with him. Being in a closed space with him for more than a few seconds would be too embarrassing. 

“Y/N, come on. It’s the least I can do for you. You don’t have to walk alone at night, it can be dangerous.” You sighed, tapping his shoulder softly when you got closer to him. “Jay, it’s fine. It was not meant to be,” you tried to sound certain but what left your mouth was a mix of sneering with a doubtful tone. When he said nothing more, you left.

You were free. And also hungry. And a bit tipsy.

Maybe it was not the best idea to walk alone at that time of the night, but somehow you managed to feel better outside than with Jay. He was great, but definitely not for you.

You questioned yourself if calling Yunjin or Chaewon or maybe both could be a good idea, but knowing them they would show up in no time and try to beat the crap out of Jay and you weren’t in the mood to witness a murder. Actually all you needed was food. And maybe a cozy place. Nevertheless you typed on your phone just to update your girls.

You: Date went down the hole Guy’s kinda suck ngl Chaebae 💖: WDYM ARE YOU OKAY  DO YOU NEED ME TO GET THAT BASTARD OR WHAT WHAT DID HE DO WHERE ARE YOU Jinnie 💘: i’m very much drunk rn but tell me his address and i'll kick his ass and get you home or are you home already?

You laughed at the quick replies you received and typed some reassurance to them while continuing your walking process. Your goal at that point was to find a convenience store where you could get some lamen and perhaps a soda.

While you wrote down your last message walking slowly not to trip, you bumped into someone, face straight to their chest.

Firm and cunning hands held you by the waist since you lost balance because of your heels, preventing you from falling. Before you could even say anything, that fucking woody essence went directly through your senses and it was as if history was reescribing itself, like a gift from fate. This time, you were fully in his arms.

You looked up. “I’m so– Oh, you again?” He showed his charming smile. Because of the proximity you noticed how the corner of his lips were a bit curvy. So attractive and for what? 

Just like the last time, you blinked twice before realizing what really was happening, feet fixed on the ground. “I’m starting to consider that you like bumping into my chest, sweetheart,” he said with a grin, his mentoled breath hitting straight on your face.

Thank god his hands still held your waist, otherwise you would definitely fall. Your baffled expression had him chuckling a bit. “Did I hurt you?” he asked with care, looking directly at your eyes. His pretty chocolate eyes were hidden behind black specs this time.

You kept gazing stupidly at him like he was a distinct specie, an alien or something, not being able to say a word. Your throat was dry, you were sure you had lost the ability of talking. “Have you forgotten how to talk, pretty one?” He sniggered and bold but gently placed a strand of your hair behind your ear with his free hand. You shivered and almost leaned into the touch. “I remember you having such an endearing voice,” and just like that you finally let your body respond and blushed, taking a deep breath while starting to move away from him “I’m sorry, I didn’t see yo–”

“Cut that off, sweetheart," he let you go, making sure you were stable on your feet. You missed the warmth of his body on yours right away. Also you took your time to appreciate his clothing. The deep red shirt with white stripes covered with a black jacket looked too good on him. "I’m worried our encounters will keep happening like this. You might end up getting hurt for real,” the concerned tone did not go unnoticed, even mixed with the teasing-flirtatious one.

Your eyes wandered his face quickly before you let out a chuckle and diverted your attention away. You decided to ignore the buzzing sound of your phone as you put it inside your purse. “That wouldn’t be fun, would it?”, you said.

“Definitely not,” you looked back at him, caughting the shining eyes staring at you already like all he had down his sight was you. “A beautiful face like yours cannot be hurt, am I right?” And again there was that too attractive sly smile adorning his lips. You decided to smile back but shyly yet unable to hold the visual contact for more than a few seconds, cheeks still reddened. 

“I don’t know you enough to say that but you seem a bit… off”, he was now looking at you with his gleaming puppy eyes, head slightly tilted to the side. “Yeah, I might be a little bit tipsy.”

Normally you would be mad at the fact the small amount of wine was hitting that hard, blaming your weakness towards alcohol for making you feel kinda dizzy and too bold for your own good – you internally debated if that dizzines came from the alcohol or from other sources, like the very good looking man standing in front of you.

Still you thanked the fearless feeling running through your veins at that very moment, otherwise where would you find enough courage to say what you said next?

“Are you down to get some lamen at some random convenience store with me?”, you had no idea what your words could mean to him and honestly weren’t expecting much, but as soon as his face lit up like you told him he won a good amount of money, you felt victorious. “Is this your way of flirting? Because if it is, it’s working on me.” 

“That’s good to know, nameless boy”, you scoffed with a seductively undertone, the little smirk on your lips and your now boldness to maintain eye contact making him laugh as a failed attempt to hide his flustered self. The next moment you both were greeting each other with a quick handshake after he offered his hand to you. “I’m Jake”.

The hallway boy finally got a name, and not only that, you were now sure of his existence.

Sitting on a bench at the little shop you managed to find, the angry owner’s expression facing you two was as clear as crystal water and got you thinking if you were being too loud. Without caring much you just let it be, since being with Jake apparently meant you will be noisy eventually. It was not necessarily his fault, the both of you just shared too many common interests that made it difficult not to get overly excited during the conversation. 

It all began with just a normal “no way you like this flavor!” – with a very strong Australian accent from his side – and since then the flow went smoothly. His company had been greatly enjoyable so far and you let yourself be more and more comfortable about sharing some self information.

For example at some point you discovered he was a physics student, and with that you instantly shared about your love for the moon – also the lack of acknowledgement about it. You explained that you were affectionate to the moon because of its beauty, shining brightly in the sky even when behind heavy clouds. Looking at it always made you feel somehow free, especially when some breeze hits your body simultaneously. 

Jake carefully listened to you with fond eyes and after you finished, he started to explain a bit of theory to you, sounding too smart. He looked very attractive saying words you didn’t even know the meaning behind and you noticed you were paying way too much attention to the way his charming lips were moving as he did so. 

And just like that you traveled around many subjects. You being more emotional and Jake more rational, respectfully giving each other the chance to speak, constantly but easily finding ways to match one’s energy. You finally felt heard that night. And one of the topics being, of course, the whole date situation.

“Ok, so what you’re telling me is that this Jay guy told you about his whole financial status, which I admit makes me kinda envious, and you still managed to end up here with me at some very random convenience store eating cheap lamen?”, he shook off the empty package of said lamen, staring at you with an amusement look.

“Yep,” you nodded, slurping the last bite of your food. “And also I called him stupid.” 

“At his face,” he completed the very important piece of information, finishing his food as well. Jake licking his lips to clean it up didn’t go unnoticed by you. “I swear if I was Jay I would be crying right now,” he stated as a fact and you groaned.

“Don’t make me feel bad for him, please,” you uttered with a whine and he laughed at you, his eyes turning into little crescents as he did so. “I swear he was nice and prolly had good intentions, but y’know…” you left unfinished, but Jake concluded for you. “He bragged about diamonds hoping you would fall for him or something.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and shook your head before drinking the last sip of your soda, “yeah, definitely not my type.”

Jake decided to restrain the urge of asking what your type would be, a little afraid he was off league. “Well, at least you got on a date with me,” he sneered. You chuckled. 

“I knew I would hit my pretty face directly on your so toned chest when I walked out that date,” you said sarcastically and then added “that’s why I decided to go in the first place.”

You were feeling way better now, belly full of good food that really pleased your taste buds and not drunk anymore, although you still let the boldness command your words through the talking once and while. You found out that behind Jake’s flirtatious and teasing way of speaking to you, there was also a very sheepish boy that would get flustered from time to time, like right now. He laughed off and drank the rest of his soda in order to run away from your very sharp but playful eyes.

Jake was so entertained by you. The way you expressed yourself so cheerfully and vibrantly. Whenever some topic of your liking was on the track your eyes would instantly get an almost childish sparkle as your hands motioned in a very exciting way and your detailed explanations would be voiced out.

Also he discovered you were a lot more confident than he thought you could be. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t liking this side of yours, audaciously flirting with him whenever you got the chance to do so, without holding back your bold responses. The feeling of the top of his ears burning knowing they were very much red was starting to become common for him. He did not had to know that you not only noticed his reactions, but was loving every minute.

Despite that, he tried to keep his cool.

“What are you up to after here, sugar?”, Jake asked forcing a nonchalantly tone while playing with the rings adorning his fingers, and yet again you were forced to remember the fucking cute pet names that got you flushed everytime he dared to say them. You looked away for a bit before answering.

“I don’t know, maybe go home… Watch some videos until I fall asleep”, you shrugged. Early on that day you weren’t expecting to find yourself in a situation like that, actually the whole program was to get “dicked down” – as Chaewon worded. However, you weren't disappointed either with how the evening turned out to be.

“Come on, Y/N,” your name went out too smoothly on Jake’s plumpy lips, his honeyed voice never failing to make you flutter slightly. Still you tried to keep your composure. “It’s friday and you’re wearing such a beautiful dress to what? To go home, watch videos and sleep?” He mocked the last part and you chuckled before lazily smiling in his direction, fully facing him. You recognized the tiredness starting to consume your body slowly which did not go unnoticed by Jake. Your tinted cheeks from the compliment also did not go unnoticed by him.

“And what would you recommend me to do, Jakey?”

“Jakey?” He raised an eyebrow, liking the way you pronounced the nickname a bit too much, thinking it was definitely something he could grow used to.

You just kept smiling, looking up at him through your eyelashes. You perceived how close on the seat you both were as if a magnet pulled you two together through that night, your bare shoulder slightly brushing against his clothed one from time to time.

“To be honest I just wanted an excuse to point out how gorgeous you are in this dress,” he licked his bottom lip as a habit while you didn’t even have the chance to properly receive the compliment, Jake being too smooth with it. “I don’t have any good recommendations, but if you’re down we c–”

The sound of your phone ringing interrupted Jake’s possible plans, making both of you startle. You saw Yunjin’s name on the screen and wondered whether to answer or not.

“Aren’t you gonna pick up?” Jake asked with curiosity. 

“Actually, yes I will,” you remembered you left your friends hanging on your texts and have been unintentionally ignoring them, so it was only fair to give a quick update just to make them sure you are still alive. 

“Hi baby”, you picked up the call with a smile, hearing a very drunk Yunjin on the other side. “No, I’m not home yet”, Jake watched as you talked on your phone with a neutral expression. He himself feeling a bit worried with the usage of nicknames and with your cute tone towards the person.

He knew you just went out on a date, assuming that you were at least looking to have some fun, however that fact should not be enough to stop you from being unavailable. Jake thought that a pretty girl like you probably already had a love interest in line.

“Don’t worry, Jinnie. You don’t have to come pick me up”, you glanced over at Jake who was now paying too much attention to the table in front of him, lost in his own mind and also trying to give you some privacy. You grinned, “I’m not alone.” Jake accidentally heard a very loud “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT ALONE?” through your phone and had to hold back a laugh. “I’m with… Someone,” you kept your eyes on him as you spoke to Yunjin, grabbing his attention when you indirectly mentioned his presence. “I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” and then you ended the call with a “Love you, bye.”

“I didn’t mean to hear it, but I’m intrigued…” you knew where Jake was going with that, so you just kept your smile. “‘Someone’, huh?” He said with a smirk, clearly messing with you. 

You turned your head to someplace else because no matter how bold you can be sometimes, the following line that you let out made you hesitate a bit beforehand.

“Well, in my defense I don’t plan to introduce you to my friends through my phone, let alone as a mere guy I just met,” although you tried to keep your cheekily tone, it was obvious how shy you were feeling, gazing briefly at Jake’s direction as you said.

Jake hadn’t noticed until now that he was holding his breath a little, relievedly letting it out as he watched your pretty face and expressions. Regardless, the whole phrase made his head spin, replacing previous thoughts with new, more intense ones, all at once. What do you mean by that?

“Then how are you planning to introduce me?” he boldly questioned leaning towards you a little in order to find a way to look you in the eye again, finding adorable your demeanor right now breaking every little eye contact way too quickly. 

You giggled.

Jake thought he had just found his favorite sound in the world.

“We’ll see, Jakey.” 

Jake rode you home.

He noticed how lazy your hooded eyes started to look and decided to end the “date” instead of taking you to somewhere else, which you particularly found endearing. The bar was low, you admitted to yourself, but a cute guy being considerate for your entertainment other than just leading you anywhere else for his own amusement made your heart flutter. 

However, the moment he offered to take you home you immediately refused, emphasizing that he didn't need to worry and that you would not let him waste gas for nothing. The reply he gave was a not so subtle “I don’t care”, alongside with “I’ll not let you freeze outside waiting for a cab and I don’t trust you enough to let you borrow my jacket for tonight,” making you laugh at his little mischievous tone, especially because as soon as you both were in his car he put his black jacket on your shoulders.

“I thought you don’t trust me enough to have it?” You referred to the jacket, feeling too inebriated by its smell. 

“There's a big difference between leaving it to you alone without knowing if you'll ever hand me back and letting you have it under my watch, sweetheart.” His smug face looked too charming as he spoke and the damn sweetheart again got to you with ease. You chuckled while watching the street lights passing by. 

The ride was calmer than you expected. The radio played on some random station working as a beautiful background to the soft words exchanged between you two. You noticed Jake’s attractive side profile as he focused on the road rambling some physics thing in a very excited way. Your body felt too tired to keep any thoughts on track, leading you to just listen to his sweet voice embracing you mildly until you both arrived in front of your apartment building.

Of course he didn’t let you open the door and also helped you to get out. The touch of his warm hand under yours sended a shiver down your spine. 

“Thank you for the ride, Jake,” you said with a gentle smile.

“My pleasure, sugar,” your cheeks reddened hard as you started to take off his jacket. “You don’t have to,” he shook his hand in front of him, refusing to get the clothing piece back. You looked at him with a stunned-confused expression, lips parted a bit. Before you could even protest he interrupted you. “I need an excuse to see you again, right?” And send you a wink.

As if he said just a normal thing, he confidently got back to his car, letting behind a very flustered you. 

Little did you know how shaky his hands rested on the wheel as he drove off, looking forward to meeting you again.

Of course you had to spend your whole weekend waiting for Monday to come – a peculiar behavior you admitted to yourself. But neither you nor Jake got each other's phone number so all you could do was to wait and hope for the best. You didn’t even know if you would meet him again at the campus because you searched for him nonstop the last few days and never got the chance to do so, making you regret even more about not getting any information about where to find him.

His jacket rested on your desk chair as you deeply stared at the little stars adorning your bedroom ceiling. Stars that remembered how shiny Jake’s eyes looked when he started to talk about Theory of relativity or anything like that. You also remember paying just enough attention to understand and to keep the talking flow, focusing more on the way his lips moved as doing so.

You groaned, rolling on your bed sheets. How long a weekend can be? You were acting like a teenager for having a crush on a stranger! You knew little to no things about Jake. You knew his age – one year older than you, you knew his majoring and you also found out the reason behind him being at your campus block – he had to deliver some paperwork to a friend of his. But other than some common interests and his music taste, that was it. 

Was him a good person? He showed you a good personality for sure, to the point your heart sank with the idea of losing all that excitement to see him again just because he’s good looking and has a great talk. Still you kept questioning yourself. What if he was the player type? Just hitting for one night stand and that’s it?

Monday morning arrived but you did not had enough time to develop any more thoughts when you got to the university. As soon as you reached it, Chaewon and Yunjin flooded you with a very long investigation about what the hell happened that friday.

Talking in person was always an option for the three of you, the feeling of looking eye to eye and reading each other's expressions was more interesting than having to guess it over a phone or video call. Normally you three would pick a place to go and have a little "friends date" and talk about the stuff that happened for hours. However this time you choose to use the excuse you were busy studying, having too many assignments left behind which neither of them bought it from you.

“So Jay sucks?” Chaewon asked. “I don’t like putting it like that,” you murmured. “But yeah, we just didn’t hit it off, y’know?” You just shrugged.

You three were walking towards the class you shared that morning, not caring much about being a little late. 

“Baby, you’re too nice,” Yunjin hugged you sideways and smiled at you. “You can say a man is stupid.”

“Actually I did,” you smiled mischievously and they both looked at you with shocked expressions. “Not my proudest moment, but I said it to his face. Unintentionally, I swear!”  

Chaewon and Yunjin broke down the shocked expressions to laugh out loud with the idea of you calling your failed date a stupid right to his face.

 “And what’s with the jacket?” Yunjin questioned when you stopped to grab your things from your locker.

She knew every clothing piece you had as if it was hers because of your constant need for help in terms of putting together what you like, and even though the jacket looked good on you, definitely wasn't part of your wardrobe. 

“It’s Jake’s, I’m planning to send it back to him today.” 

They already knew about Jake, but not too much. You shared a little through texts not wanting to fill too much of their expectations. Knowing your two best friends, they would go crazy if you detailed your night out.

They both exchanged glances before Chaewon spoke “If he really exists.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, picking up all you needed from your locker before answering. “He does. And he’s… pretty nice.” You tried your best not to sound too whipped at that time, especially because you were still worrying if he would be loyal to his words or if the whole talk about meeting you again was just a big bluff. 

But apparently one thing about Jake it’s that he can counter you with ease. As if you summoned his presence, the honeyed voice that you didn’t realize until now you missed hearing, said from behind you. 

“Hey, pretty one.” your head snapped to the direction faster than you would like to admit, meeting the beautiful plump lips turned into a little smile. He looked you up and down, checking on you. “I don’t think I’ll need the jacket back. You look better on it anyway.” His eyes were locked at you, and only you. You had to remind yourself to breathe, because, God Jake was so hot. 

That day he opted to wear just a normal white shirt with dark jeans and black shoes. At first he thought about really getting his jacket back, because you didn’t know that but that jacket was his favorite. But as soon as he put his eyes on you and noticed how cute you looked with his clothing piece seeming too big like an oversized one, he gave up.

“H-hi,” you damned yourself for stuttering, being fully aware that your friends looked as astonished as you at that moment, but for different reasons. You started to get the jacket off your body by saying “Of course I have to give it bac–”, he shushed you with his index finger before you could finish and your eyes widened, making you stop all your movements.

“Don’t worry, I meant it when I say you look good on it,” you gulped as you nodded speechless. “Here,” he handed you a little paper and your shaky hands took it, you saw numbers written. “It’s my number, you can text me whenever, yeah?” He licked his lips suddenly feeling nervous.

Apparently being around you was an easy break of his flirtatious self. However, he forced himself on this one and said “I gotta go now, I’m kinda late,” he ruffled your hair gently before leaning close to whispering on your left ear, lips lightly touching your skin “See you around, sugar.”

You immediately choked on your own saliva, your cheeks burning like hell, fully unable to say a word. “And bye to you both as well!” Jake referred to the girls as he started to run down the corridor to his own campus building. 

“Bye!” both Yunjin and Chaewon said in unison. You had to blink twice before realizing what just happened. “Girl!!!” Yunjin screamed and you noticed Chaewon covering her mouth as well. “What the fuck?!?!” 

“I–” you tried saying anything but you couldn’t, not only because of your own brain turning into mush, but because your friends were way too hyped and interrupted you. 

“The way he looked at you?”

“THE PET NAMES!!!”

“‘Pretty one’!? He so down bad, what the actual fuck?”

“And he’s cute as hell!!!”

You were overwhelmed with all of that, walking just because the two girls were forcing you to move forward while keeping squealing about Jake's actions. 

“I know that nose can do wonders,” Yunjin said cheekily as soon as you sat in your class seats and you immediately turned to look at her with a terrified expression.

“Huh Yunjin!!!”, you smacked her shoulder with wide eyes and she just laughed together with Chaewon. 

As your ordinary Monday normally would go, you were now sitting under a tree reading the latest book your teacher assigned for an assignment. You always loved to take a break from the library and to literally touch some grass, using your free time to catch up with all the paperwork you needed.

A shadow approached you, blocking the sunlight and catching your attention. You didn’t expect to see Jake hovering over you. With a raised eyebrow, you asked. “Are you following me?”

“No, I just missed you.” He ironized, taking a seat near you and looking at your book. “You’re such a nerd,” he mimicked your position, so his head was also resting on the tree behind you two but he was facing you. Too close. 

You nervously gulped before saying, “Yeah, cuz I’m the one who likes to show myself off to a girl talking about Theory of relativity and other physical terms”, you sounded too sarcastic and instantly felt bad. “I’m not complaining, by the way,” you whispered looking away, part of you hoping for him not to hear but due to the proximity he obviously heard. And smiled.

Jake was afraid you could hear his heartbeats at that moment. Your side profile enchanted him in ways he could not describe. Your shy little smile got him thinking if it would be too weird to take a picture to have it with him forever.

He looked away, enjoying the silence.

“It’s very calm over here,” he said in a deep low voice, resting his chin on his knee. You took advantage of him not facing you anymore and watched him as he watched other people wander around, almost forgetting to say something back.

“Yeah, I like it here because it’s always calm like this,” he looked back at you when you talked. You forced yourself to keep eye contact for as long as you could, trying your best to ignore your burning cheeks. 

Jake looked away. You noticed he was flustered too. 

“And what about you, Jakey?” The little nickname spilling out your mouth like sugar, he almost melted. “Isn’t your campus like a few blocks from here?”

He chuckled, “Yeah, but I’ve got like an hour to spare before my next class.” You hummed. “So I decided to come over and thought I could maybe bump into you again,” he slyly smiled at you. You laughed at the term he used. 

“But I can go away if you want me to, sweetheart.”

You instantly shook off your head and almost grabbed his arm as if trying to stop him from getting up. “You can stay.”

“Okay.”

And he did. 

There was a brief silence moment before you plucked up the courage to ask. “What’s with the pet names?”

“You don’t like them?”

The worried puppy eyes he gave you almost broke your heart. “It’s not that… It’s just, y'know…”, you shrugged, trying to find the right way to put it. “Do you use them with everyone?”

You needed to know. You noticed Jake shuffling on his seat a bit, as if he was uncomfortable. And well, he wasn't fully comfortable either. There was no good explanation to why he called you all of that, and no, he didn’t use pet names with no other people but you. He dated two other girls before and of course called them cute pet names while being with them, but now you were the only one on his mind since the first encounter and he could not help it.

Jake was a believer of “love at first sight”, however he understood the necessity of getting to know the other person if he wanted to build something with them and never really got carried away with the primary delusional feeling.

With you he was kinda different. He let his flirtatious side shine way more easily than he would normally do. When he noticed how cute the girl who bumped on his chest that day was, he just let it all out. Little did you know that his first instinct of flirting with you was due to his nervousness. 

Now he would be down to a one night stand type of thing if you wanted to, but didn’t sound right to do so. You looked too precious to him. He wanted to be close to you and get to know every single piece of you before anything. He wanted to know your likings, interests and overall personality.

He could let himself fall in love with you.

Immersed in his own thoughts, he didn’t even realize he had become quiet and left you hanging kinda in a compromised position.

“You know what? Forget it,” you shook it off, feeling embarrassed. It wasn't like he owes you any explanation about his life or what he does with it. If he decided to play with your feelings, then you should know your position of not falling for it. “Tell me something very nerdy about your area,” you asked brightly. “I’ve got a few minutes still.”

You noticed how bold you became around Jake. Apparently that's how it worked between you two. 

He would be the one starting the whole thing, making you get too flustered for your own good with the cute names and shameless flirting, until he breaks out the character for a few seconds, enough for you to be the audacious one and make him blush.

At some point you started to get used to Jake’s presence in your everyday life. Both of you would constantly reach for the other during free time just to hang out, and sometimes to grab some food together. Yet you never let him get too close, fearing that you would let yourself get too attached to the feeling. You made it a rule not to fall for him and you’ve been holding on so far, even with Jake making it way too difficult. 

Jake was sweet, caring and not afraid to express his feelings when he needed to. Not only that but he also would remember little details about you, like your favorite coffee order or the fact that you can only listen to the first half of a song because you think the rest sucks – Jake always skips it when playing on his car radio. 

He got along with your friends easily as he’s a well spoken person as well, and even introduced you to his own friends. You met Heeseung and Sunghoon, the last one being a classmate of Jake while Heeseung studied music, both older than you. You found out that Heeseung was the said friend who made Jake wander around your campus causing the whole bumping-into-each-other situation and it became an inside joke among all of you.

Jake made it normal to ask you out from time to time within the excuse that both of you were overwhelmed with the university duties and deserved to see the outside world.

So after today’s classes you walked down the parking lot after receiving a text from him saying he would take you to a place – he refused to tell you where you were going. 

He was already waiting for you, being too attractive as he leaned against his car while looking at something on his phone. Your heart started to pump fast in your chest, making you take a few deep breaths beforehand. 

“Hey,” you greeted when you got closer and he glanced over at you, immediately opening a big smile and embracing you in a hug.

“Hi, gorgeous,” you took your sweet time to feel the warmth of his body and perfume. “Ready to go?” 

You moved back from the hug and watched as he opened the door car for you.

“Mhm, but you got me extra curious, so I’m having high expectations,” you tried to exaggerate in your words in order to get a little hint, but of course Jake was already getting immune to your tricks at this point so he just laughed.

“I’m sure you’ll like it, sweetheart.”

You settled yourself in his car, feeling way too comfortable with the amount of time you already spended there with him as you threw your bag on the backseats and chose the song for the trip. 

Jake dared you to show him your favorite songs every time you two drove together, but you wanted to get to know his music taste as well so you two decided to alternate who chose the songs for that day. And it was your turn.

“Paramore for today, huh?” He pointed out with a small smile.

“Yeah, you don’t like it?” 

“I love it.”

One of the reasons your heart beat fast when around Jake was the freedom to be yourself and just do whatever you wanted to do, without even noticing you caused the same to him with your charming behavior. Every time he stopped at a red light he would look at you bobbing your head and lip syncing to the lyrics excitedly while doing a little dance. 

He tried his best to not show how dearing he was looking at you, but you caught the cute brown eyes facing your side from time to time and the only reaction from both of you was to look away and blush. 

As the conversation flowed, he shared a bit of his day to you, telling about how stressed he has been because of his study partner being a pain in his ass, and the only hint of where you were going he let out was “And because of that, I need to de-stress and that’s why we goin’ where we goin’”. 

You pouted and forced the best puppy eye you could while looking at his direction. He almost broke out. “You’re mean. You don’t make a girl curious like that.”

“Don’t worry, we are almost there.”

You gave up trying to figure out where you were going and hoped for the best. You knew that with Jake nothing could be bad, because his presence alone was enough. 

Jake felt similar to you, not admitting out loud that just the fact that you were with him already reduced a lot of his stress. You may not know that but everyday he was eagerly waiting for the moment you both would meet during the day, and when you couldn't find time to do so, he was thrilled to receive a simple text from you.

Your presence was enough to make him happy.

It didn't take longer than a few songs for you to arrive at the place you instantly recognized as a beach.

“A beach?” You sounded excited, but also a bit confused. You don’t think you have clothes to enter the water and the sun was already starting to set, so you didn’t get much of his idea at first.

Jake parked the car and as usual, he opened the door for you. “Yep. I know it’s kinda late for a swim or anything like that, but it wasn’t planning to do anyways,” he helped you to get out.

Normally he would let your hand go as soon as you felt stable on your feet after leaving the car, but that day he decided to hold your hand as he gently pulled you in the direction he wanted to take you.

You said nothing. How could you? The slender fingers holding yours had broken you down. The air felt thick in your airways as you walked alongside him, heart beating louder and louder while you watched the beautiful view of the sun finding its way down the horizon. The cold breeze hit your face and brought so much peace to your inner self. You could live forever like that.

Jake suddenly stopped walking and since you were a bit behind him, you bumped slightly at his back, hands still together. You looked over his shoulder and gasped. The place you two were now had a better view of the sunsetting and the waves calmly hitting the rocks sounded way too heavenly.

You blinked slowly, reluctantly letting Jake hand go as you walked a bit forward. Behind you, he watched as your hair flew due the breeze.

"It's so pretty..." you uttered under your breath, mesmerized by the look of the orange and pinkish colored sky. You felt like crying. 

He took a few steps and glanced at your serene expression. 

While you enjoyed the view, Jake enjoyed you.

"Yeah, very pretty."

You had no clue of how fast Jake’s heart was beating right now. He was hypnotized by you, a sudden urge to kiss you building up his mind right away. 

“I now understand why you come here to de-stress”, you said after a while, the sound of your sweet voice bringing him back to reality. He had literally lost himself on you at that very moment. 

You lazily smiled, feeling extra calm and glanced at Jake, who was already looking at you with soft eyes.

“Thank you, Jakey,” you hugged him sincerely. “For bringing me here and for being here with me. I needed that.”

Jake sighed, hugging you tightly. At this point there was no way he could hide the thump-thump in his chest, and honestly? He stopped caring if you noticed or not. 

He stopped caring if you noticed he was – not so slowly – falling for you. 

It was a stressful week for you, not only were you on your period but also dealing with a bunch of deadlines. You considered throwing yourself in front of a bus when you realized how left behind you were in your assignments. Your finals getting closer and closer didn’t help either.

For good and long days you almost locked yourself at the library in order to catch up with everything, because even with the help of some friends that shared the classes with you you were barely holding on.

Jake would appear out of nowhere and give you a cup of warm coffee, some muffins and a little kiss on your forehead before heading out and letting you do your thing.

“I just wanna make sure you’re eating well, princess,” he would say every time. And no matter how lovingly his actions would be, you couldn't allow yourself to feel them because of your anxiety of failure.

And yes, ever since you asked about the nicknames and stuff he started to use them more often than your heart could handle, especially after he discovered that you liked them, even if you didn't admit it out loud.

Friday arrived. You wished you could get excited about going out to the little party Jake said Heeseung would be throwing that evening, but you needed a good night of sleep and your whole body was aching due to your period. You just wanted to sink on your bed sheets after taking a hot shower.

One thing that became normal in your life was getting a ride with Jake some days of the week, unfortunately he didn’t have any classes on fridays so you just had to walk your way home. You took your sweet time to feel the cold autumn breeze hit you on the face hoping it would take away all your stress. The buzzling sound of your phone caught your attention as you saw Jake’s text on its display.

Jakey 🐶:  Hey there princess It’s been three days since I last saw you and I’m ngl, I kinda miss your pretty face lol I hope you’re doing well I left you a little smth at your apartment.  At the door, ofc Don’t freak out, I didn’t stole your keys or broke into your house or smth Please, don’t stress yourself too much <3 And dw, I’m not mad you’re not going to the party Have a good rest, pretty girl. AND PLEASE don’t forget to eat!!!!

You almost cried reading all of that and blamed your hormones for being a mess of feelings. 

You: Hi Jakey!!  Kinda miss you too you left something to me? i’m kinda scared I’m dealing with cramps rn so I’m not so fine, but I’ll eventually, dw! And yeah, I’ll make sure to eat and rest well enjoy your night, pretty boy <3

You noticed you felt much braver through texts than in person, but this was the first time you were the one using a nickname so you were shaking a bit.

Jakey 🐶: AJDKSSJDJS SORRy I Yeah, uhm No need to be scared, princess, I’m sure you’ll like it  Cramps? Take on some medicine, please!! Do u want me to come over? Are u home yet?

He sounded so desperate and nervous that genuinely made you laugh out loud. But with a simple text back saying “no, you go enjoy your night out and I’ll enjoy my bed” you finished the conversation as you finally arrived home. 

Near your apartment’s doormat, there was a pretty bouquet of daisies alongside a little box of chocolates. You noticed a little hand note inside the bouquet. 

“I remember you saying you like these flowers and everyday I pass by a flower shop and always think about buying it for you, so today I finally did. There’s chocolate too. Hope you like it.

Have a good rest, princess.

Jake”

You took a deep breath in order to hold back the tears trying to escape. Not falling for Jake was a difficult rule to follow, and you didn’t know if you wanted to keep doing it anymore.

“So what you're telling me is that Jake left his house on a fucking Sunday morning and brought you ice cream because you... were feeling too lazy to go buy it yourself?”

“When you put it like that…” 

Chaewon, Yunjin and you were sitting at one of the furthest tables in the cafeteria that you usually went to when the three of you wanted to gossip or just meet to catch things up. It was a late afternoon on a Tuesday and you barely had time to see them in the last few days, mainly because you had missed a few classes to finish reading other teachers' required books.

“The real question is: why aren’t both of you dating already?” 

Yunjin was flabbergasted by what you were describing about Jake. There’s no way that guy wasn’t in love with you at this point. She didn't understand what was taking you so long to ask him out already, especially because she noticed that Jake was kinda holding himself back.

“Yeah! He follows you like a little puppy and looks at you like you are a goddess or something!” Chaewon added. “I mean, you are a goddess, but to get someone to look at you like that?!”

“Girl, you gotta bag him ASAP!” Yunjin playfully pushed your shoulder, but you weren't feeling that happy about all of it.

You sighed. “But what if I’m just a fun little game to him?”

“What?!” It was funny the way both of them said in unison, but instead of laughing you just continued with a sad voice tone.

“Y’know, he’s been flirting with me since the very beginning. I don’t know. Part of me believes his words and actions, they seem genuine. But the other part is way too afraid of trusting too much,” a single tear ran down your cheek as you frowned. “I don’t want to be hurt again.” You whispered as you looked down. 

“Baby,” Yunjin, who was sitting next to you, hugged you sideways and planted a sweet little kiss on top of your head. “We know you’ve been through a lot of shit because of your stupid ex, but I don’t think Jake’s like that.”

Chaewon, who was in front of you, took your hand in hers as she spoke. “Yeah, and you know, If he tries something or if he dares to break your heart, you’ll always have me to make his life a living hell.”

You smiled through the tears running down all over your face. With a reassuring look, Yunjin asked. 

“Give it a try, yeah?”

Jake knew what he was getting himself into. He would be fine if you put him in the friendship side, but the thought of having you to himself pleased him way too much. The idea of other guys touching you the ways he wanted to, knowing that none of them would treat you right, consumed his mind as much as the vision of your pretty smile. 

The urge of getting physically closer to you was itching him incessantly. 

Ever since he discovered that he was in fact falling in love with you, he became unable to get you out of his head. It was like a kind of mantra that chanted your name every time he saw something that reminded him of you, and almost everything reminded him of you.

He didn't had the courage to ask you out on a proper date so far, because even though the both of you had developed an incredibly nice friendship, he was too afraid that he was seeing beyond reality because of his delusional self, and more than that he was scared as hell of losing you. 

You probably only thought of him as a friend who you could playfully flirt with, he would say to himself. At the same time, the way he sometimes caught you looking at him seemed much more loving than it should.

There seemed to be more love than friendship in that relationship of yours. 

He was also having to deal with the hard job of avoiding kissing you. Recently he found himself getting lost on your lips too often. A dangerous play. Still he kept you as close as he could, hugging you or having at least one of his arms around your shoulder or waist in order to fulfill a bit of his neediness. 

Thinking about you and only you, he sighed, finishing his business at his locker, finally reaching the book he was looking for and placing it in his backpack. 

"Ok, quick question", Jake almost screamed at your sudden appearance when he closed the metal door, widening his eyes and dramatically putting a hand on his chest. You laughed. 

"Firstly, what are you doing here?” He said after catching his breath. “Secondly, why do you like to scare me so much?", he kinda whined and you laughed.

"I just wanted to know if your name is really Jake or if it's a nickname", you smiled innocently. Jake on the other side of the hand didn't buy your "pure" expression, glancing at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Why would you run all the way through here just to ask about my full name, which I’m pretty sure you already know?" He wasn't buying any of that.

"Because I wanna manifest you in my life," you answered like it was obvious and you both began to walk side by side. You were going to be very late to your class but your professor has to understand that sometimes you have more important things to do other than attend classes.

"I thought I was already in your life...?" Jake was trully confused.

"Yeah, but I kinda wanna you in my life more than just what you are right now.”

"What are you talking about, Y/N?" Saying your name was an indicator that either he was serious or very confused, either way you didn't care much so you just carried on with your talking. 

“Go on a date with me.” He stopped walking and so did you. Jake looked at you, blinking without saying a word. "On a date, you know,” you motioned with your hands, losing a bit of the courage you had to build up to do all of that. “We go to someplace, grab some food, wait for the night to fall down and boom, stargazing while we talk about our amazing theories of life or whatever.”

Jake gulped, scratching the back of his neck nervously. Normally he would be the one programming the whole thing and just saying you are both heading to somewhere, but to have you asking like that… If he understood it right, you were asking him to go on a real date.

"Sounds like something we already do." He let out a breathy and nervous laugh, still trying to thoroughly understand what you were saying, looking if there was some kind of joke hidden behind your eyes. 

You looked extra attractive today, as if you dressed yourself up just for this moment. Just for him. He noticed you were wearing his jacket as well.

"It pretty much is, but at the end of this one I want to be able to kiss you,” you said in one go. “On the lips, if it's not clear."

Jake now was more speechless and completely baffled than ever. He was sure he was dreaming. It became normal routine for him to dream of you lately so of course this was all a trick of his own mind trying to compensate for his neediness of you. 

He was so fucking dreaming.

With the lack of response, you thought you fucked up. 

“I-I’m sorry, I–”, you started as you felt your confidence running away from you immediately. “Just forget about what I just said, I should not have said anything to begin with. I’m so sorry, ok?” You noticed your hands trembling. Due to your nervousness, everything you had on the back of your mind just went out. “I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to come here and try to take our relationship to a next level or something. But it's been so hard to be around you without wanting you even closer,” you whined. “And I finally got the courage to ask you out on a proper date, but you clearly don't see us like that so forget about it. I’m sor–”

No one. Not a single soul could prepare you to be silenced by Jake’s lips on yours. His hand automatically grabbed your waist as yours went to rest on his chest.

Kissing in the middle of the university hallway wasn’t the ideal way of tasting each other's for the first time so Jake decided to not take too long on holding the contact, breaking it to say “I’m sorry, I needed you to shut up.” His lips brushed on yours as he spoke. You blinked twice and breathed heavily, feeling the touch of his warm hand on your skin as he cupped one of your cheeks. You looked for his brown honeyed orbs, catching them exchanging glances between your lips and your eyes. 

 “We can go out on a date,” he brushed his thumb softly on your bottom lip. “The one where we go to some place, grab some food, do whatever you want and I can properly kiss you.”

Jake was fighting demons not to kiss you again. He was absolutely certain he would go crazy, just a little taste of you and he already felt like he was starving, his body totally dependent and reactive because of you. 

“Okay,” your voice was barely a whisper and you had to use all your strength to stop yourself from leaning in to feel his touch again. Instead, you reluctantly pulled away, immediately missing all of his touches; you felt your skin tingle in every place he had touched you. Still his hand rested on your waist, unable to let you go. “I gotta go,” you noticed how his eyes wandered all over your face, like he was taking a picture with it in order to save it from the rest of the day.

You smiled, hesitantly sliding your hands away from his chest. 

“Alright, sweetheart,” before you could let him go, he grabbed one of your hands and planted a gentle kiss at the back of it. “I’ll text you later then?”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

You had to hold a scream when you heard your doorbell ringing. Chaewon and Yunjin who were in a shared video call squealed for you.

They looked more excited than yourself and you really appreciated the effort they took to help you out even with their busy schedule for the day, deciding to call you not only because they knew you would be nervous as fuck but also because Yunjin was willing to help you with your outfit choice.

You ended up wearing something cute, but cozy and warm: a matching pair of a top and long loose skirt, patterned with a black background and some stars and moons, a black boot and as a final touch: Jake’s big jacket. You also did a little hairstyle with two small braids at the front and the rest of your hair loose. 

Yunjin noticed how confident you were in choosing the clothing and even doing your hair, showing that you didn’t need much of her help – which normally she would dramatically react to, but today she just felt proud and happy for you.

Jake made you comfortable enough to be yourself whenever you were with him.

And you were going on a date with him.

A fucking proper date.

You said a quick ‘goodbye’ to your girls who replied with a very high pitched ‘good luck!’ and then hung up, walking towards the door and needing to take a few deep breaths before opening it.

As you did, you greeted a very smiley – and hot – Jake.

He was glowing. 

Not only was his face glowing but he seemed overall confident. He was wearing a reddish flannel jacket that covered an oversized black shirt together with his everyday silver necklace, jeans and black boots. A perfect combo, especially to you who loved to see a man in red – you once told him about this preference of yours and was questioning if he did it on purpose.

The silky brown strands fell perfectly in place again when Jake ran his hand through it and licked his lips after shamelessly checking you out.

“Hi b– Oh my god, you look stunning.”

Early the day through your texts you decided to go simple but special on the planning due lack of time. The whole idea was kinda in a hurry, but after getting to taste a little of how it is to kiss Jake, you needed the action of kissing him to become an everyday routine as soon as possible, so the initial plan – the date will be happening on a chill day for both of you, mostly likely Friday – was replaced by a very eagerly “Ok, I’m taking you to a place” said by you.

“And you look hot,” the wording flew out your mouth faster than you expected and instantly your eyes went wide.

Jake smirked as he leaned into the door frame. “Appreciate it, baby.”

Baby.

You were so fucked up. There’s no way your heart could handle this the whole night. 

Jake noticed the way you just blinked at him without saying a word and he just knew you were absorbing the whole situation before becoming confident over him. It was the way you worked and he loved that. 

So he decided to take his sweet time and take a bit of advantage over your flustered self as he walked closer to you. “I brought what you asked,” he sounded a bit too sexy saying such simple words and little did you know that he deepened his voice a bit just for fun.

Due to the closeness, Jake scented your perfume and swore he was getting drunk, too intoxicated by your sweet smell.

You looked at the bag he lifted and nodded, fully in a trance. You forced yourself to snap out of it as you reminded yourself you have a fucking date and finally spoke “Oh, right. I’ll go pick up what I’ve prepared for us!” You walked towards the kitchen. “Do you want anything? Water maybe?”

“Just you.”

You choked on your own saliva as your cheeks started to burn. You foolishly thought that at least Jake wasn’t aware of your reaction, but as soon as you got back from the kitchen after picking up the picnic basket with the sandwiches you made, you realized he was very much aware and messing with you with the flirting as usual. You could see in his eyes a strange mix of false innocence and mischievousness. And of course, in that little game of yours you would always win.

“Well, you already have me,” you winked at him as you pulled yourself together and now was time for Jake to lose his composure, blushing. “Let's go?”

“Y-yeah.”

You gave him an address and he drove you both to the place, fully trusting you. You wanted to surprise Jake since he was usually the one who surprised you, but you hadn't gotten your driver's license yet so you needed him to do the driving in order to achieve your goal. That's why you decided to give him an address a little further away from your final destination, so both of you could walk there without him suspecting anything.

Jake was feeling like a happy puppy, very excited about what was going to happen tonight.

He was curious about your plans, especially after you asked for a picnic blanket and some beverages – “a night picnic?” he asked as you two texted. He remembers you just replying with “lol don’t fool yourself”.

He didn’t know what to expect about the place really, and not only that, he couldn’t stand the urge to kiss you properly. God, he was so in need of you it hurted. Having you next to him, your scent all over him, your sweet and lively presence, and not being able to touch you was driving him insane.

“I don’t wanna you to get high on expectations, Jakey,” you said softly after a while with a concerned voice. Jake had stopped at a red light and the silence wasn’t awkward, but it was undeniable that you were worried about the outcome of that night. 

What if Jake doesn’t like what you’ve prepared? What if he thinks you’re too dumb and leaves you? What if he doesn’t really wanna be with you? 

“I’ll like whatever you’ve planned, sweetheart,” just like Jake was reading how anxious was your mind, he uttered. “You are my company for tonight. That’s all I need,” he reassured you, holding your hand and resting it on your thigh. 

You glanced over at him to see his lips turned into such a gorgeous smile you almost cried. Jake was perfect.

“Okay,” you brought his hand to your lips and planted a small kiss. You tried to let it go after, but he refused.

Jake drove the rest of the way holding you, only letting it go when needed, but catching it again as soon as he could.

The warmth and softness of his touch took all the worry out of your head in a minute, and just like you arrived. Jake parked where you told him to do so and opened the car door and helped you to get out as usual. This time though he intertwined your fingers as he let you guide him through the way. 

“Don’t we need to bring the things?” 

“Nah, we have something to do before,” you tried to sound enigmatic, forcing an expression which made Jake laugh, totally endeared by you.

“Ooh, so mysterious.”

You both walked for a bit rambling about the surroundings. It was kinda in the middle of nowhere, with nothing much around and plenty of open space. Jake noticed there was a big building and before he could say a thing, you began to explain.

“So I know we both like astronomical stuff, right?” He nodded, looking at you. So pretty. “May I say you especially in a very nerdy way,” you softly pushed his shoulder with yours and he playfully rolled his shining eyes while failing to hold back a smile, full of adoration for you. “I thought about this when I realized I wanted to be more than just friends with you,” you stopped walking to completely face him, holding both of his hands. “Behind you at this exact moment there’s a stellar observatory,” you stopped him from turning around wanting to finish your speech first. “Apparently fate had worked through this, since today they don’t normally open to everyone. Only for reservations or something like that.”

You finally let Jake turn around and take a proper look at the place. You watched as his eyes began to shine even brighter, it looked like he was about to cry. You also noticed how his hand tightened around yours, as if he was nonverbally thanking you.

Jake was genuinely flabbergasted. How the fuck did he managed to find someone that amazing? 

“I’m not gonna ask how you managed to get a reservation here,” he joked.

You raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean by that?” He just laughed it off. “Well, I kinda didn’t,” you suddenly felt small, even tried to restrain your hand from his but he refused to let you go.

You ran away from his intense gazing, not wanting to see the disappointment on it as you kept talking “We’re not going into the observatory. We’re gonna use the telescopes they have open for use down here,” you explained. “Since today it’s a reservation only or whatever day, we get to use it freely. It’s definitely not the same thing, but I’m sure it can be cool.” you forced a smile still afraid to look at Jake’s direction. “I tried to book it for us I swear I did, but it was too expensive,” you uttered apologetically and again you were rambling due to your nervousness.

Jake not saying a thing helped nothing either. Little did you know he was as speechless as amazed with your witty self for figuring out a way of making that night special in such a short amount of time. He knew how hard it is to come up with ideas like that and to make it work. And you did it. Flawlessly. 

He was so falling in love with you.

“...I’m so sorry if I raised your expectations too high. I wanted to do something nice since you’re always doing nice things to me, you deserve bett–” 

Jake once more interrupted your nonsense speech by pressing his lips on yours and you instantly melted in his arms, your hands moving up to find comfort on his shoulders as his own went down your back until they rested on your waist, squeezing lightly. 

You moved your head to the side wishing to deepen the kiss, the whole fantasy of waiting for the special moment to finally kiss him was already blown apart as both of your bodies searched for the other’s. 

Your heart was beating fast and all your senses were heightened and sensitive, as if Jake had awakened a new sensation in you. A genuine sense of desperation for closeness. You needed more. Like reading your mind, Jake’s tongue touched your bottom lip at the same time your fingers scratched the back of his head, getting lost through his soft strands as you pulled him closer.

Jake touched you with care, he was kissing you so tenderly yet you could still feel his hunger for you. You weren’t different either. One of his hands came up to hold your face to help with the movement of your heads. You quickly found a pace, like two puzzle pieces being a perfect fit.

Neither of you wanted to part away, feeling too addicted to the contact. So whenever one broke down to breathe the other would reach over and start again, until your lips were a little bit sore. You pulled away unwilling, leaving little pecks on his plump lips as he did the same on yours.

Jake was unable to hold back his smile and didn’t even tried to, too happy about finally kissing you. “We have a little problem, baby,” he whispered as his dazzling eyes wandered all over your features. You looked even more stunning under the moonlight. “What?” You quietly asked back. “I don’t think I can or want to stop kissing you.”

You giggled, feeling shy under his intense but gentle gaze. He was adoring you and you could feel every piece of it.

“You don’t have to stop.”

And just like that you kissed again. And again. And again. 

You felt like a drug to Jake, so addictive, so intense, so you. He had the impression that all his problems would be solved instantly if you just kissed him. He decided that from now on at the end of a stressful day, he would search for your touch and your touch only.

“But I kinda want you to stop for a bit, so we can go see the stars,” Jake chuckled when you broke the kiss to say. 

“You love stars, don’t you, pretty girl?” He gave you a final cute little smooch while hugging you tightly. 

“Yeah.”

And even though you had observed dozens of stars that night, none of them shone brighter than your eyes together. 

You were dating. 

Actually there was no big difference from what you and Jake acted before, other than the fact that everyday that he went to pick you up to the university, you got to kiss him, which made you two develop the routine of waking a bit early just to get enough moments together. 

Also you started to feel comfortable to call him cute names, your favorite being pretty boy, very effectively when you wanted to fluster Jake and see him giggling.

The dynamic was similar, but way better.

When you told your friends about the night, they literally screamed. Of course you kept as a secret how romantic it was to lay down under the moon and starlight with Jake as you cuddled and shared kisses. But everything about Jake sounded dreamy. 

He was so cute and you were not so slowly falling in love. He would leave you at your classes everyday and kiss you good luck. Due to his recent research project his time was getting tighter, nevertheless he would squeeze his whole schedule just to see you for a minute or two. And of course, to steal a kiss from you. 

Most of your lunch time was with him, either when you had time to grab some food and eat in peace or when some of you two were in a hurry. On days like that, you normally would find him in the library, leaving him some snacks, water and a sweet kiss. He would do something similar to you. 

Gradually your relationship was growing stronger, however you still hadn’t done anything on the bed yet other than kiss and sleep together. You weren’t complaining! You loved to kiss Jake and to feel his warm body embracing yours.

He was very respectful towards you and you really appreciated that. He would initiate the kisses sessions most of the time, but rarely deepen it waiting for you to do it. His hands would never go further down your hips, even when you tried to force him to do it by putting it on your ass he relocated them back up.

But you were a woman after all. A woman with desires and needs. Strong desires and needs.

Even though you had a long-term relationship, it was only after the breakup that you discovered that your ex didn't give you any pleasure – or gave you anything at all. Your previous relationship was a mess, to be honest. Talking to people and listening to their experiences made you realize how shitty you were being treated back then – in every aspect!

You knew how to please yourself and most of the time was enough. However, it’s been a while since you last had sex and you could live without it normally, but there was Jake, all over you.

His smell, his pretty face, his touches, his lips, his fucking nose and his slender fingers… The way his veiny hands would hold the steering wheel drove you insane. You needed him.

It was a cold Saturday and you were watching him play your video game. Yeah, apparently Jake liked your video game more than you – this was you being dramatic every single time he stopped to pay all of his attention to you and decided to play something, but as soon as he starts to celebrate for defeating a boss, you just smile and forget about the drama.

Today was a bit different though. Normally you would pay attention to either the screen or to his pretty face and reactions, loving how expressive he was, always thinking Jake was a sculpture or something. But on this very specific day you paid more attention to his hand movements. 

The way his grip was strong on the controller and how his fingers moved on it was making you mad. He was biting his lip more than usual as well in order to concentrate and, God, you could feel your panties get wet just by watching him like that. 

Part of you felt like a perverted. 

At some point he groaned. Apparently something bad happened to him on the game, but you didn’t gave a fuck. The sound he left woken a strong feeling inside you.

“Why is this so difficult?” Jake asked frustrated, throwing the controller away on the couch in defeat and looking at you.

He wasn't expecting to meet your intense gaze on him, eyes darkened as your tongue traveled through your lips to wet it. 

His confused puppy eyes and parted lips were your last straw. 

You straddled over his lap, hungrily kissing him. You almost instantly sucked his bottom lip, looking for a more intense contact. You could feel he was a bit confused, hesitantly resting his big hands on your hips, not knowing what to do.

When you bite his lip you heard a whimper and that alone made you grunt against Jake’s mouth in response, pulling him even closer. You pulled a few strands of his hair and again he let out a sound for you, feeling him getting hard beneath your body.

Before you could continue doing your job, he said in an urge, his breath heavy. “I gotta go.”

You shook off your head whispering “No,” and pulled him again to keep making out with him, lewd kissing sounds filling the room, a total mess happening in your living room.

The feeling of his hardened bulge hitting directly on your covered wet cunt was making you rub yourself against it, hoping to get more friction. At this exact moment Jake forced you to move away from him, gripping your hips to stop your movements. 

“I really gotta go, I have some uni stuff to do,” he was breathless. You noticed how his eyes were different from ever, face red and skin hot. You blinked a few times as you just watched him put you back on the couch and stand up, trying to cover his obvious boner with his oversized jacket. He gave you a little kiss on the cheek and said goodbye to you before rushing out of your apartment. 

You had to satisfy yourself alone that night. And after that, you cried.

You started to question yourself. 

Yeah, Jake looked at you like you were the only one in his life. But was it enough? Does he find you attractive? Or better: does he find you desirable? Sexy? Hot? Sensual?

Since that day Jake started to run away from your more passionate touches like he was running from death. 

At first you thought he could be a virgin, and no problem with that. You would let him feel comfortable enough with you to try to do something more, however you knew he had other relationships and weren’t inexperienced either. 

Actually you even went to Sunghoon and Heeseung to ask them about it, to which they answered that Jake may be “boyfriend material” and only have intimate moments with people he somehow trusts, but he definitely wasn't inexperienced in that field.

So doubting yourself was your only option. You could also ask directly why he never did more than just kisses with you, but that option needed more courage from you than you had. 

“What’s with the frown, baby?” Yunjin asked you one day as you both decided to lunch together. You were giving excuses to Jake during the whole day in order not to talk to him, saying you were too busy and that maybe today you wouldn’t be able to meet him.

You sighed, playing with the food on your plate. “I don’t think Jake likes me.”

“What? There’s no way. He almost licks the floor you walk on. What did he do?” She was ready to throw hands.

“The real problem it’s the opposite. He don’t do it.”

“Do what, baby?”

“We’ve been dating for weeks and we haven't had sex yet. I’m almost crawling on my bedroom walls.”

“Wow,” Yunjin was shocked, eyes widened. For the way you two acted together, she thought that every single room of your house was blessed already. “Well, have you asked him why? Because that’s pretty much a ‘he’ problem as it seems.”

“I’m afraid,” you stated sincerely. 

“Of what, baby?”

“Of him saying something I don’t wanna hear. I don’t wanna lose him, Jinnie,” you uttered with sorrow. 

“Y/N, my pretty baby, remember we are talking about Jake. The man who woke up in the middle of the night and went to your house to kill a cockroach because you called him. The man who has a photo of you in his wallet. The man who had literally skipped classes just to spend some time with you because apparently he can’t live without you,” you started sobbing. “He likes you very much, Y/N. And he has shown to be someone who listens to you with adoration. Anything you say or ask him he would do his best to listen and talk about it, you yourself said that to me once when we were ranking green flags, remember?” You nodded. 

It was the truth. He was Jake. The man who demonstrates so much affection in every action. 

“I’ll talk to him. Thank you, Jinnie.”

“You don’t need to thank me, sweetie.” She kissed the top of your head. “You know I’m always here for you and just want you to be happy. You deserve it.”

You decided to talk to Jake on the next day. You weren't planning to “arrange a sex meeting with him” or anything similar, but to talk about it. So you invited him over that day, knowing he would be completely free because it was a Friday. You did a test early that day and were free as well.

Since he was going to your apartment quite often you gave him a key to make things easier for both of you, so when you heard the front door opening as you drank some water your heart started to beat fast in advance.

His scent followed all the way through your house directly to you. You felt his arms hugging you from behind and for a few seconds you let yourself get lost in his warmth. “Hey, gorgeous. How are you?” He whispered close to your ear, kissing your neck. You turned around to face him. “You look sad. What happened? Are you ok?” He flooded you with questions as his eyes worriedly wandered over your face. You just pecked him quickly before taking his hand on yours and leading him to the couch. 

Jake felt his heart sinking.

He maybe was going crazy, but he felt that you had purposely ignored him the day before, constantly finding a rather lame excuse for every solution he gave. He preferred to believe that you were not having a good day and respected your decision. But when you invited him over, it became undeniable how anxious he was feeling.

And the way you welcomed him at that moment made him even more worried, especially when you said the cursed phrase.

“I wanna talk to you about something.”

He swallowed, trying to keep it cool by saying gently “What is it, sugar?” as he reached for your hands to mildly squeeze it in reassurance. 

Even though Jake was quite tense, he would always prioritize you and the fact that you had some difficulty verbalizing what normally was bothering you, so he knew it was consuming you just as much.

“I– Actually I don’t even know how to say it,” you started shyly with a low voice, avoiding Jake’s gaze. “But I’m…”

“Y’know you can say anything to me, right?” Jake tried to encourage you as he gently pulled you closer and just like that you moved to sit on his lap, each of your knees on either side of his legs as you trapped him underneath you.

Without saying a thing, you hugged him to hide your face on his neck. Jake wasn’t fully aware of what was happening, but he wanted to give you some comfort so his hands caressed your back slowly.

After a while you muffled his skin with your breath while asking “Do you think I’m unattractive?”

Oh?

Jake had a delayed reaction to your question. “Baby, what?”

You drew apart from him enough to see his confused expression before looking away. “I don’t know if you aren’t sexually attracted to me or what, but you can always tell me y’know. I’m sure we can figure something out,” your voice was almost a whisper due your worried self about confrontations. 

“Baby, I’m so confused right now. What are you talking about?”

“I– I’d prefer you saying to my face you don’t wanna have sex with me instead of pulling me away from you every time we go further with our kisses,” as you finished saying, you felt your cheeks burning. 

Jake frowned, completely baffled.

Little did you know that Jake lost track of how many times he woke up with a painful boner after dreaming of you. Or how fast he would run away from you after a makeout session with you because of his body response to it.

He would first try to cool down with a shower, but everytime he ended up jerking himself off to get some relief, you being the only one in his mind, always moaning your name when cumming.

But, God, every single time he felt nasty, disgusted with himself. You deserved better. You're like a divinity to him, a beautiful and sweet woman, you needed to be handled with care and love and he was so afraid of hurting you.

The day you told him about your ex and how badly he treated you, especially in the sexual field  by not caring about anything but his own pleasure, Jake got mad. Really mad. 

How could one in their right mind leave you hanging, when your expressions of pleasure alone were enough to drive any man crazy? He could treat you way better. 

Sometimes Jake would get carried away while kissing you, going down to your neck to trail his lips over there biting and sucking slightly. And when he backed a bit to look at your face, he always met you with closed eyes nibbling your bottom lip, a ridiculously lustful view. 

Too hard to handle.

He had to almost physically hold himself back every time. He was afraid of scaring you with how much he needed you, with how much he wanted to get lost between your legs, making you scream nothing but his name, with how much he was willing to make you feel good.

And now he got to know that his actions were the ones making you doubt yourself, making you doubt his feelings and needs for you… He was feeling so dumb.

“I– I’m sorry, Y/N.” 

You froze. No nicknames, just your regular name.

“I never wanted to make you feel like this. I’m really sorry.”

You gulped the guilty feeling down your throat. “It’s okay, Jakey, I get it,” you smiled awkwardly, not knowing what to do next. That meant that Jake didn't want you in that way, right?

You were about to start rambling as usual and before you did so, Jake shut you up with his mouth on yours. You startled before reacting, moving your tongue with his and dipping your fingers into his silky strands, both of your bodies starting to get hotter.

Jake squeezed your ass while pulling you closer. “I want you, Y/N,” he was serious when you drew apart to catch your breath. “I want you so bad, my darling,” he was so desperate, your panties dampening just by how his voice sounded.

“Yeah?” You smirked, breathing heavy. “How bad, Jakey?” You noticed his eyes darkening. “Show me.” 

Getting back to work with his mouth in yours, kissing you very messily, Jake impulsed to stand up with you in his arms. You surrounded your legs around him to keep yourself steady as he stumbled a little on the way to your room. You giggled against his lips when he dropped you softly on the mattress and hovered over you, not breaking the kiss for a second.

Jake’s mouth tasted so sweet and hot on yours, you couldn't help but scratch his back and neck with your fingernails thinking how good he would be doing all that job down your cunt. His dick was getting harder and you could feel it, your mouth watering at the thought of sucking him off. You wanted so bad.

He parted away from your lips just to trail his own plump ones to your neck and collarbone, kissing, sucking and nibbling all the area before finally whispering against your skin, sending chills throughout your body.

“I really wanna eat you out,” Jake sounded determined. “I wanna taste you before anything, sweetheart,” your only reaction was a sigh mixed with a “please” that you were unsure if he heard.

But Jake was catching all of your sounds, from the quietest little whimpers to the slightly more intense ones, like the one you released when he removed your shirt and bra to work on your tits, his mouth sucking your left one while his hand cupped the other before he switched to do the opposite.

Before he continued to get down on you, you quietly asked him to remove his shirt and as he did, he revealed to you part of his perfect body. By the superficial touches over his clothes and of course the preview bumps, you knew he had a toned chest, but to see it all on display to you… You literally moaned at the view.

You promised yourself that later on you would give every bit of that skin the attention it deserved.

You watched him smile shyly before kissing your inner thigh, without breaking eye contact. Jake was absolutely certain he would cum in his pants at any given moment. The mix of your little sounds with the way you were looking at him like you were about to eat him alive triggered a strangely pleasant feeling. 

“Can I remove these?” He asked between kisses on your skin, pointing to your shorts. You nodded. “And these?” He pointed now to your panties and you nodded again, head resting on your pillow. “Yes, please. I want you.”

Jake noticed how wet you were through your last clothing piece and he literally had to hold himself back to not just dive right into you. He was getting dizzy by your smell, eyes hooded as he removed the only thing that stopped him from touching you like you deserved.

Jake salivated admiring your pussy, breathing heavily as he swallowed nothing.

At this point you were on the verge of crying due to your desperation and his unnecessary slowness, so you spread your legs even more and pleaded. “Please Jakey, I really want you,” you whined, grabbing his hair with your hand and forcing it down your cunt. “I don’t want you to hold yourself on me, pretty boy.”

And as if you casted a spell, Jake looked at you one more time before burying his face in you.

You gasped. 

He felt you dripping on his mouth and grunted, collecting some arousal with his tongue to spread all over your area before flicking it on your clit, sometimes sucking just the right amount and sometimes doing big licks. His tongue worked so damn well, you just rolled your hips in order to get more. You were so sensitive and so needy. His grip on each side of your body got stronger as he pulled you closer.

You moaned Jake’s name when he decided to use one of his fingers together with his mouth, pressing it on your entrance with care, just to familiarize you with the sensation before adding one more. After all, he just wanted you to feel good and not to be hurt. 

You kept rubbing yourself on his face and now grinding on the two fingers inside you. Jake was doing such an amazing job on you, curling his fingers the moment he needed to like he knew you from inside out, using the tip of his nose to rub your clit as his tongue and mouth worked in the rest.

“You’re doing such a good job, pretty boy,” you praised between moans and heard Jake groaning between your legs and intensifying his movements, eating you out as his life depended on it. 

“I wanna you to cum all over my face, princess,” he said, muffled. His skilful fingers moved at a steady pace. “I need that, give it to me, babe, please.”

Your orgasm was already building up inside your core. You felt the familiar sensation growing bigger and bigger until you let it out the loudest moan of the night as your back arched. Jake’s words and all the combo of his warm mouth and fingers inside you were enough to make you achieve your climax, trembling beneath his touches, grabbing his hair tightly.

Jake drank you like it was his favorite drink, licking every single drop of you with pleasure, his dick now painfully compressed in his boxers. He could get himself off just by eating you out.

He drove you through your high, movements slowing as he felt your grasp on his hair softening and your body less shaky. He kissed your pussy a few times and then crawled over you to kiss you on the lips. You watched your juices decorating his chin, nose and a bit on his cheeks before you felt your own taste in your mouth. 

Jake's hard, covered bulge rubbed against your bare cunt and you whined, breaking the kiss to down your hands all the way to his cock and to utter “Babe, you’re so hard.” Jake whimpered against your mouth and you flipped over to be on top of him. “Let me help you with that.”

And as you promised yourself, you trailed kisses all the way down his chest, putting your mouth and tongue to work through his soft skin, making him squirm a bit underneath you. 

You stopped once you got to the waistband of his pants, taking it off with Jake’s help and removing his boxers as well. You sighed, mouth salivating at the view of his veiny dick right in front of you.

However, you needed to feel him inside you, so you let your other desires for later, starting to move in a way you could sit on him.

“I wanna ride you,” you announced as if it was your only goal in life. “Like, really bad.” 

“Fuck, babe,” Jake groaned, watching you positioned yourself comfortably on top of him, quickly moving his hands to hold your hips. “Go on. Use me,” he threw his head back to just enjoy the sensation of finally feeling your walls around him, before realizing something was off. “But wait– Sugar,” he said with widened eyes, sitting up to hold you before you did anything. “You’re going in raw?” Jake questioned in disbelief. 

You blinked at him, confused. “You’re clean, right?”

“Yeah, but–”

“So am I. And on birth control, don’t worry.” 

Since you were still wet due your orgasm and because Jake’s little sounds aroused you enough, you pushed him back to bed, giving him a little peck before holding his dick and placing it on your sensitive area.

Jake knew he wasn't getting out of there alive. There was no way. How would he survive you? God, you were insane. And the way you slowly slid down on his length, using its precum to lubricate, sent him out of orbit in an instant.

He did nothing but open his mouth and moan, eyes rolling back to his head with the amazing feeling of your pussy coating him so tight and warm. He could feel you everywhere. He almost cummed just because of that alone, having to close his eyes tightly in order to concentrate enough to not let it happen.

“Oh, fuck,” Jake bit his bottom lip the moment you moved a bit, adjusting yourself. “You feel so fucking good already, fuck.”

You watched every reaction of his, enjoying it as a show. The frowned face in pure pleasure, the red wet lips, face all flustered and glowing, not to mention the dim light of your room working to make the view even more gorgeous and pleasant. 

Jake felt you staring and how you stayed still for a while, finding support on his chest with your hands. He opened his eyes to glance at you. You gave him a little smile and he reciprocated, caressing the skin of your body under his touch as he waited for you to feel comfortable enough to move by yourself. Jake watched as you started to move back and forth slowly on his cock, your eyes closing with how good he was filling you up. 

Although Jake's hands rested on your hips, he didn't force a single movement, letting you find your pace. He admired you for a moment, “you look so, so pretty right now, baby,” he praised sincerely, watching the way your expressions changed to pure pleasure as you moved faster.

You leaned forward to find his mouth with yours, kissing him, missing those pretty lips of his on yours. Your moans got lost between your mouths as you continued to move faster until you found the pace of your liking, Jake now helping you to keep it going. 

Lewd sounds of your bodies shocking against each other filled the room, mixed with whimpers as well as the wet kissing sounds.

Jake reached down with one of his hands to rub your clit, and by the way his cock twitched inside of you, you deduced that he was close to cum and didn't want to do it alone.

You drew apart from the kiss to rest your head on the curve of his neck, sucking the skin as well as whimpering against it. The position leaded Jake to have his mouth directly on your ear, and with all the stimulus happening at the same time, his dick hitting your g-spot, his finger rubbing your sensitive nerve and his voice moaning your name in your ear, you started to clench furiously on Jake’s length.

“Wait–”, you barely heard him saying, too lost in your pleasure already. “Where do I c–”

“Inside,” you answered quickly before he tried to pull off.

“Fuck.” Jake’s head was spinning, he was seeing stars. “Be my girlfriend,” he let it out in one breath.

“What?” You asked back under your breath, questioning if you were hearing things due pleasure.

“Let me be your boyfriend,” he said panting. “Officially. Be my girl, please. Be mine,” he begged with a groan, cumming inside of you. 

You openly moaned his name, rolling your eyes back as your orgasm also hit you. You thought that alone could answer his question, keeping on the movement to ride you two through your highs, his strong hands gripping you tightly and your whole body shaking.

You stood over Jake's body for a while after you stopped your movements, catching your breath and feeling his liquid leaking from inside of you. 

He helped you to lay back on the bed, both still panting, both so happy about what just happened. You forced yourself to stand up just enough to kiss him before you said, looking deep into his eyes. 

“I’m already yours, pretty boy.”

That weekend was intense. Still, you just couldn't get enough of Jake. And he wasn't too different. 

Now your routine had changed a little more. He was still the sweet and kind Jake, worrying about you, asking about your day, listening to you rambling about random things, and always bringing you food on your busiest days. But it seemed like you had awakened a monster inside him.

Of course you didn't complain, especially because the one who was getting the benefits was you, who wasn't that different either, never getting enough of him.

Whenever Jake was stressed, he would usually take you somewhere to watch the sunset or to stargazing while talking about life and theories and obviously, kissing you.

Now he started eating you out. Almost every time. And sometimes he would mix these two, taking you somewhere beautiful and eating you out inside his car.

Jake had eaten you out in every room of your apartment, saying that him eating you out got him off more anything else, and you actually witnessed him cum untouched a few times, looking so fucking hot while doing it.

Nevertheless you still couldn't had the chance to give him a proper head. Jake would be saying you didn't have to do it, like you felt obligated. Little did he know that you wanted to feel his dick filling up your mouth and his cum going directly down your throat. Oh, you wanted so badly.

At this exact moment, you were sitting on your kitchen counter with your legs spreaded being supported on Jake’s shoulders as was getting lost between them, diving in your juices, making you cum with his tongue deep inside you. You reached for his hair with your hands, grabbing to bring him up and kiss him fervorous. 

“Take me to the bedroom,” you demanded with an urge. 

And how would Jake deny such a sweet request?

The moment you got into your bedroom, you tossed him on the bed. You were hungry for him, and him only. 

You saw his already hardened cock marking his sweatpants and without giving Jake time to complain, you removed all his clothing pieces – he was already shirtless – and had him naked underneath you. 

As usual, he thought you would ride him. Out of all the positions you’ve tried so far, this was a favorite of his – to look at you while you use him for your own pleasure felt too insanely good, so he got excited in advance. But you decided to surprise him this time, contradicting his expectations as you bend over to be at the same height of his pulsing cock, head pretty close to it.

He panicked.

“What are you doing, sweetheart?” He asked and tried to sit, but as soon as he did you pushed him back to the bed. 

“Imma suck you off,” you said like it was obvious. You wrapped your hand around his length and started to pump it.

“Y–you don’t have to, princess,” he stuttered, feeling hot under your soft touches. “Let me fuck you, mhm? You deserve to feel good.” He tried to sit again and you pushed him back one more time.

“Sucking you off will make me feel good too, Jakey,” you blew a bit of air on his shaft, he shivered. “Don’t you get that?” Your hands worked slowly on his dick, moving up and down, smearing the precum out of his slit with your thumb. He bit his lip to hold back a whimper. “Or do you think you're the only one who gets horny by giving pleasure to others?”

You ran your tongue all over his shaft, closing your eyes as you felt the salty precum taste spreading through your mouth, playing a bit with his tip.

Jake kept hiding his sounds from you.

His hands were squeezing the duvet under his body to the point his knuckles started to get white when you gave a little more attention to his head, realizing that this was his sensitive area. You took advantage of that.

Without a warning, you put his whole cock in your mouth in one go, feeling it hitting on your throat.

“Mhm,” he tried to contain his grunt, hips thrusting forward slightly and his left hand smacking the bed one time before grabbing the sheets again.

You held your position for a few seconds, making sure to breathe through your nose, before moving back and forth twice. Jake squirmed under you, still quiet.

“Why are you hiding from me, pretty boy?” You asked with a low voice when you backed off to breathe, hands replacing your mouth as you did so. Jake finally let it out a little whimper and you smiled. “I wanna hear you, baby.”

“I’m sorry,” he said apologetically, once more biting his lip in order to contain himself. 

The reason behind his choice of behavior under your touches was literally due his fear of scaring you off. He would be a total mess if he let it all go as he really felt. Your hot mouth around his dick sent him to hell and heaven all at once, you didn’t had to do much for him to start seeing foggy and being a whimper mess.

Jake felt your lips coating him again and groaned, back slightly arching.

“So gorgeous, Jakey,” you backed off only to encourage with a smile, jerking him off before going back to suck him. He couldn’t hold back his loud moan, eyes rolling when you sucked his sensitive tip. You quivered. You wanted more of him. “Keep on making these pretty noises for me, yeah?”

Although he was afraid of scaring you off, one thing he loved to do was to obey you, to fulfill all of your requests. Whatever you told him to do, he would do it. So when you told him to be vocal, he started to be vocal. 

Your mouth swallowed all his throbbing cock, his tip going deep in your throat, precum going down on it. Jake threw his head back, open mouthed, spilling all the little noises you loved. “Fuck, mhm, that’s it, babe,” he breathed out between groans and put one of his hands on your head without forcing you down or anything, just resting there.

The way your throat was pressing his sensitive tip as you swallowed around it, God, he was getting stupidly close. Jake dared to look down at you, meeting your strong gaze as you devoured him like a last piece of meal. “Fuck, you’re doing so good,” he gasped, rolling his eyes. Jake felt a familiar burning wave all the way through his body. “Fuck, I’mgonnacum”. 

You kept your movements steady, lightly scratching his thighs before you felt Jake’s body start to shake, his moans intensify and his cum hitting down your throat. You swallowed every drop of it before letting his dick with a pop and using your thumb to clean up the corners of your lips as you crawled back to kiss him passionately. 

At this point you were already horny again, so as you kissed him, feeling his shaky hands all over your body, you pressed your bare cunt on his softened shaft and moved a bit. He parted the kiss, trying to push you away.

“I– I don’t think–”, he tried saying. “I’m sensitive, baby– Ahh...”

“Yeah?” You rubbed your bare cunt on his dick with a sly smile. “So you don’t want me to ride you, Jakey?” You kept waving your body on him, forcing a disappointed face with a fake pout.

Jake trembled, feeling his eyes water in a painful pleasure. “Of c–course I– I do, fuck.”, his voice cracked, eyelids closing. He was fully unable to stop you at this point, and he didn’t wanted to anyway, so he just started to sob as you kept sliding on him, back and forth, slowly, painfully slowly.

You were sending him into overstimulation, loving his reactions, loving how desperate he looked. Legs squirming beneath you, eyes tearing up, hands messily trying to figure out what to do, facial expression switching in a mix of pain and delight.

“Please…” He begged. He didn’t even knew for what. Neither did you, so you asked. “Please what, Jakey?” You stopped moving. “You want me to stop?” 

He hurried to answer “No! Please, don’t– Don’t stop.” Definitely his begging wasn't about stopping. His breath was short as you started to move again, still slow. Too slow.  “Go faster, please darling.”

And how could you deny such a sweet request?

The wet sound of your pussy rubbing against his cock was too lewd. You leaned to kiss Jake, who wasn’t able to kiss you back properly due his undergoing situation. His was dick hardening again against your folds and that was your last straw.

Yeah, he was desperate because of overstimulation, but you were desperate to feel him inside you. So you repositioned yourself to slide him deep on you in one go, making both of you scream.

You threw your head back and instantly started to grind on him, making circle movements, sending both of you to cloud nine. 

“Babe I– I’ll not last long– damn.” Jake said breathlessly, hands helping your hips to move.

“Make me cum with you, please,” you begged and of course he would never leave you hanging, so he did his work, rubbing your clit at the same pace as you bounced on him.

You felt your climax building up rapidly, breath getting heavier and heavier, body shaking as you heard Jake saying under breath "I'm cumming", while throwing his head back and filling you up with his warm liquid. You shivered, moaning louder and achieving your peak right after.

Your body fell over Jake’s, who immediately hugged you, panting, all sweaty. “This was…” He started to say after a while, still inside you. 

“Good?” He analyzed your expectant eyes when you got up to look at him and chuckled at the difference of the demon eyes you were giving him earlier.  “Incredible,” he kissed your forehead. “You are always incredible, my love.”

It was a weirdly sunny day when Jake seated you on his car hood, fitting himself between your legs while his hands rested on your hips, drawing little circles there. 

You both decided to go out that day to celebrate your new job. But instead of going for a fancy dinner or anything similar, you decided to follow the roots of your relationship and asked Jake to take you to see the sunset. 

And he would never deny anything to you. So here you were, looking at the pretty sky behind Jake’s back when he himself was sunk on your neck. 

"Why does the sky turn orange during sunsets?" You asked nonchalantly, feeling Jake's kisses on your skin. He was inebriated by your scent and acting as if he was getting drunk on you. 

He loved that. 

He loved you.

"It has something to do with the light traveling through the atmosphere. Don't make me do my homework right now, baby," he said muffled, unable to leave your warm embrace. You chuckled.

You loved that. 

You loved him.

"Sorry," your fingers slid through his hair, scratching slightly. He hummed in response. 

It’s been two weeks since you started to call him your boyfriend and he started to call you girlfriend, the honeyed voice always making you melt. 

Nevertheless none of you said I love you yet. Not that you two needed to. You felt Jake’s love on every action of his. The way he would look at you so dreamily at any point of the day, how he would embrace you so tightly at the end of a stressful one. Or how he would always clean you up after the sex, even when he was tired as hell. He treated you like a goddess. You felt it. 

It was as clear as crystal water that you loved him too, at least you thought. 

You would purposely ask questions about astronomy just to have him speaking animatedly in technical terms that you often didn't understand very well, but loved to see him sparkle in joy. Or when you cooked his favorite meal just to see his puppy eyes widening in surprise and thank you with a sweet kiss. Or even when you watched him play video games for hours without complaining, actually enjoying and hyping him up, sometimes playing together when he asked you to. 

Jake, actually, noticed every bit of it. 

He himself making sure to love you every moment of his day, making sure you were safe, fed, warm, and most important: happy.

Jake loved your smile. He loved to see you ramble about your favorite songs and flowers and chocolates and movies and everything. 

He loved everything about you.

You exhaled. The feeling was consuming you, you had to let it out. The ache of holding it to only your actions wasn't enough. You needed to say it.

And you did. In one go.

“I love you.”

Jake lifted his face off your neck to look you in the eyes, kind of shocked by your sudden statement. “I don’t care if you don’t love me back, but I love you. More than stargazing, more than feeling a cold breeze under the moonlight, more than listening to my favorite artist. None of those feelings overcomes the feeling of having you around,” you caressed his cheek. Jake listened to you with attention. 

“You color my world by just being around. Every part I go I look out for you,” you could see Jake’s eyes watering. “And I do find you in everything, because, Jake, you became my everything. It’s scary how much I need you. It's scary how much I can love you,” you rested your forehead on his, closing your eyes. “So yeah, I love you,” you whispered at the end.

Jake's breath got heavy as he assimilated all your words.

God, he loved you as much as you did. Lately he had to deal with the urge of telling you the three words, afraid of scaring you off as always. But now he knows you are as much in love with him as he is with you, and he felt so damn lucky.

"You wanna know something that has nothing to do with physics?" Jake spoke softly after a while in silence trying to find the right words. You weren't expecting that question after your confession. "What?" you asked in a whisper.

He looked so gorgeous under the golden light. 

"I can watch a hundred sunsets with you," he said softly, loving eyes at you. He gently put a strand of hair behind your ear, as usual, and continued, "And you’d still be the prettiest view."

Jake didn’t had to verbalize “I love you” after that, but he did. 

He did it continuously. He did it before you went to sleep and when you woke up. He did it before leaving you at your classes and as soon as he picked you up. He did it out of the blue, while you were vacuuming your apartment and he was dusting the furniture. Because no matter how much he said, it didn't seem enough.

It was love at first sight, blessed by the moonlight keeping their love secrets and under the sunset light, keeping their sweet passion burning.

[cheezeybread]

Hello :) My request is MC/Yuu overblotting- but not with magic! What I picture is them having a nervous breakdown. It starts off with them hyperventilating and being unresponsive. Then it devolves into them screaming their head off until their voice starts going hoarse and hitting anyone who tries to touch them. Maybe even throwing and destroying things. Afterwards, they refuse to speak to Crowley- even avoiding him- due to his role in their breakdown. In my mind their breakdown is caused by long term stress and triggered by Crowley telling them that there is no way for them to go home.

YES

I love this idea, it's been bouncing around in my brain for so long <3

TW // Harsh language, violent depicitions, graphic metaphors, ANGST

Uhhhh, I took some creative liberties here and there, so some things (mainly regarding Idia and Malleus because I haven't gotten up to their books in the game and refuse to look up spoilers LMAO) may not be 100% canon oopsies!

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

You were starting to feel exhausted.

Well, that was an understatement, You had felt exhausted ever since you arrived at NCR...but this feeling was something slightly different. It was like a nagging sensation, yet also like some sort of wet rag placed over your mind at the same time. It was concerning, to say the least, but it was something you would have to shrug off until you could find the free time to fix it.

Which most likely wouldn't be anytime soon, knowing how the days went for you.

Grim was always priority number one. Keeping him out of trouble meant constantly keeping an eye on him, de-escalating any fights that he might try to kick up if left alone for a single moment. And since the two of you were technically one student, that meant that his grades were yours. Even though he was the only one out of the both of you that could use magic, he still slacked off at every turn, which left you to straighten every corner he tried to cut, finish every project that he wrote one sentence on and left, finish every alchemy potion he left bubbling on the cauldron, even if you had your own stuff to complete.

Then there were the tasks given to you by Crowley, your "ever so kind" benefactor. Despite his school getting you into this mess in the first place, Crowley considered it your fault, and as such, made you complete various chores to earn your weight around school. Which, paired with your classes, made for a day in and of itself. This isn't to include the yard-long to-do list he gave you at the start of every week, most of the points looking suspiciously like tasks the Headmaster was supposed to do himself...

And there were the students. Some you didn't know tried to kick up fights with you, knowing you couldn't use magic back on them. So you had to learn to avoid these students, or make sure you were always traveling with a friend. And as for your friends, every single one came to you with their problems day in and day out. A dorm dispute, so they needed to crash at Ramshackle for the night and eat all of your food. An overblot. More fights. Homework. Tutoring sessions. Projects they needed your help with.

You shook the thoughts out of your mind and continued walking to class with Grim, the Direbeast nestled in the crook of your arm as you balanced both yours and his schoolbooks in the other arm.

"And then, Ace was all like-" His voice sounded unusually high-pitched today. Or maybe that was just your imagination? Either way, it was giving you a headache.

"YN!" Another voice called out, the owner quickly jogging up to you. Ace and Deuce, ever the duo. You nodded your head at them in greeting, as Grim twisted his head around to look at them.

"Ace! Hah, I was just telling YN about what happened yesterday in the courtyard!" At the mention of the incident, Ace's face blanched, and the boy looked uncomfortable and ashamed.

"Oh, you mean with him and Professor Crewel?" Deuce spoke up, laughing already "Yeah, that was hilarious- remind me again, why exactly did he-"

"YN!" Now came one of the twins- normally you wouldn't have much of an issue telling them apart, but your head was starting to pound even harder now, making your vision a little blurrier. The fact that he didn't greet you with a nickname most likely meant that it was Jade.

"Oh...hey," You greeted, your brows furrowing from the pain in your head.

"Have you been to the greenhouse recently? I seem to have misplaced-"

"SHRIMPY" Ah, and there was twin number two. You felt your shoulders being constricted in a strong hug, much to Grim's dismay

"STAWPIT, YOU'RE CRUSHIN ME!" The Direbeast yowled, practically clawing himself out of your arms and jumping down onto the ground.

"Yo, YN, are you alri-" Ace started, but he, too, was interrupted

"YN!" Oh great! You recognized the Headmaster's annoying voice anywhere. And he waltzed up to you with all the elegance of an unpolished piece of charcoal, one hand reaching out to pull your arms free of Floyd's vice grip, and his other hand dropping a stack of papers into your now-outstretched arms. "Please, finish all of these by the end of this week, if you don't mind. It's papers for the senior's internships this year, and they need to be signed to be official, but I'm much too busy doing...other things...to be bothered."

"Are you still looking for a way to get me home?" You heard yourself mumble out loud, without even thinking of asking that question in the first place. But you had made it a habit to ask Crowley every time you saw him, so perhaps it was just muscle memory.

"Oh!" He chirped, straightening the front of his suit "Ah, yes, well, in my infinite wisdom, I have found out the reason to your barging in on our new-year's orientation, how you came to be here. But as for you returning, hmm, yes, I have managed to conclude that it is thoroughly impossible."

He said it so casually that it took you a moment to digest what had been said.

The students around you had gone silent, and you could feel their eyes all turning to you.

"What." Was all you could manage.

Crowley became increasingly uncomfortable, fidgeting with the watch he kept buttoned to his vest, then brushing off his front side, then folding his arms before repeating the process again "It is impossible to return you home, I'm afraid," he said with as much bravado as he could muster "Now, as for your stay here, since there is nothing left that I can do, you will need to continue to work for-"

Everything seemed to crumble around you in that exact moment. The feeling of damp, dreaded annoyance that had been bubbling up in the back of your mind all day came to the surface at once, and you couldn't help but slam your eyes shut tight against the world. You didn't want to see that damn Crow, you didn't want to see your friends, you didn't want to see anybody!

You opened your mouth to speak in that moment, dropping to your knees, but all that came out was a painful, sorrow-filled wail, so loud and so harsh that you could feel the inside of your throat shred with every passing second.

A puddle of black ink started to fill your mind's eye, growing larger and larger until it was all your brain could think of.

𓆩⟡𓆪

Every dorm in the school was based off of one of the Great Seven. All but for the Ramshackle dorm, a long-forgotten piece of trash that rested on the campus of the school rather than in its own pocket dimension like the others.

Every housewarden embodied the spirit of their designated Great.

Riddle Rosehearts idolized the Queen of Hearts, following every law she had set in her chaotic kingdom, becoming as strict and severe with the enforcement of rules as she was.

Leona Kingscholar was a second-born, raised in the shadow of his older brother and sneered at by his people, and now had to live with the knowledge that he would never be a ruler with the birth of his nephew.

Azul Ashengrotto was an octo-mer, much like the Sea Witch, who specialized in contracts with those who were less fortunate and needed a favor.

Jamil Viper, although not a Housewarden, technically, but some would argue that he deserved to be such, was a consultant for the person in charge- someone he viewed as daft and naive to the ways of the world.

Vil Schoenheit, a man who wanted nothing more than to be considered the "Fairest of All", unable to cope with the fact that there was one who might be better than he.

Idia Shroud, a "loner" by typical standards, was born from a family long cursed, a family seen as Pariahs due to their research and studies.

Malleus Draconia, a descendant of Faes, royalty, with horns that rivaled the Great Thorn Fairy's. Despite longing for human interaction, and simply to be included, he was shunned for his bloodline and odd actions.

But you, Prefect of Ramshackle dorm, had no one to model yourself after.

You were nobody.

Every Housewarden Overblotted, one after another, because they couldn't be the spitting image of the great Seven, because of pressure, because they didn't realize that they were only teenagers who didn't have to be perfect.

Riddle overblotted because he couldn't grasp the concept of being wrong. Leona, because he wouldn't be anything greater than a second-born scum. Azul, because all his work was shredded and he was left with no power to put him above those who bullied him years ago. Jamil, because he had enough of pretending to be someone he wasn't. Vil, because he couldn't admit that he wasn't perfect. Idia, because he wanted freedom. Malleus, because he was tired of himself and the hatred others showed him.

Which only left you.

Nobody.

The nobody who landed in this strange new world, a world in which everyone had magic...except for you. A world were you were less than. A world where you were treated like a burden, despite everyone laying all of their problems on you, demanding you fix them. A world where, no matter how hard you tried, you would always, always be less than.

A nobody.

𓆩⟡𓆪

Then entire campus of NCR shook with your rage and sorrow.

The students both outside and inside stopped, simultaneously looking at whoever was closest to them before running to the source of the wail.

Everyone was silent. What could they do?

It was an overblot, the school's nurse would officially state later, brought on by stress and pushing yourself past the limit. Although you had no magic to push yourself over the edge with, the sheer amount of mental exhaustion you were being put through would work just as well as an exertion of magic, if not more so. In the privacy of their rooms and dorms, assured that no prying ears would overhear them, the students agreed amongst each other that it was more terrifying of a sight than anyone else's overblot they've seen. Yours was one of pure emotion, without any magic to artifically amplify it. Pure and untainted.

And while anyone else who overblotted could only use their magic, you held something far more powerful.

You held the emotions of hundreds of students at NCR. The most top-notch mages and students look to you with a sense of reverence. Whether you knew it or not, you held the strings of the hearts of them all. With one single word, you could cause any of the Housewardens to level entire cities for you, if only to gain your approval. You held the strings of fate for them all, and your pain and suffering was enough to make the same Housewardens, and anybody else who knew you closely- or even in passing- unable to use their magic for weeks after your breakdown.

They just...couldn't seem to use it. It was as if their magic were broken.

When you ran out of breath, finally getting all of your anger out of your system, you inhaled shakily, putting trembling hands on the ground to steady yourself.

When you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was a speckle of blood on the concrete below you, where your screams had caused your throat to crack and shred. You could see people in your peripheral vision, your friends, not one of them moving towards you.

Directly in front of you, looking as if he were about to make a run for it, was none other than Dire Crowley. You could see the sky behind him, dark and grey. Was it that color before?

"I-" You started, your voice cracking, but nonetheless heavy with emotion. You stood up slowly, your knees buckling at first, but eventually letting you stand up to your full height. You stood as tall as you could, your shoulders straight and your eyes focused straight ahead, drilling a hole through Crowley's head. Your face was wet from tears, and more were threatening to spill, but you didn't care about that right now.

"I'm done with you, Crowley," You spat, your voice holding a level of hatred you didn't know was possible. "I'm done working to make up for your shit. I'm done risking my life for you when I'm defenseless, when I'm stuck in this god-damn world because of you!" You held up an accusing finger, taking a step forward to jab it in his chest. He stepped back, but you stepped forward again, keeping the distance between you two even.

"I never wanted to be here, yet you treat me like I'm some sort of burden who showed up at your door- you force me to work, force me to be the therapist for children who need fucking help! How many overblotting students have I saved, huh? How many of those were ones you ran from, ones you refused to help with?! When have you ever been on my side? When have you ever stopped to think not of yourself, but me? What about ME, you worthless piece of shit?!"

You took another shaky breath, wiping the blood gathering on your lips with your free hand.

Crowley let out a small breath as you lowered your finger, and you turned around in a small circle to look at the crowd of students surrounding you. There were your friends, some looking concerned, other terrified. Grim was being held by Ace in a comforting gesture, the cat-like beast shaking. Some of the students had unreadable looks on their faces. Others looked confused.

"I'm done." You hissed, half to yourself, and half to the students. Although it was low enough so only those a few feet away could hear you speak, the word got around quickly enough, and the throng of students began whispering amongst themselves.

You ignored the offers of helps from your friends, and stormed off, back to the Ramshackle dorm, house of Nobody.

Ruled by Nobody.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

[yazis]

I'M NOT INTERESTED!!

八 - take a shot

wc: ~1.1k

note: not proofread!!

once the bell rang dismissing everyone and signalling the end of the day, you sprinted out of your 2-B classroom and down the corridor to find yoichi and meguru.

the two of them were luckily in the same class. as you approached the classroom doors of 2-C you saw them both already making their way out.

“hey (y/n)!” meguru called, giving you a wave once he caught sight of you.

"meguru! yoichi! who's ready to play some football?" you said enthusiastically.

"i thought you were joking..." yoichi replied looking somewhat concerned as you waved him off.

"of course not, itoshi sae is waiting..!" you said clasping your hands together to which yoichi rolled his eyes, the three of you making your way to where the first year classrooms were.

"you do realise there isn't a single girl that attends football club, right?" yoichi mentioned, meguru had found his way next to your right and looped an arm around your own.

"well, yoichi. there's a first for everything." you argued nudging his side with your free arm, the three of you coming to a stop in front of the 1-A classroom.

"plus, it's just football. a little kick here and a little kick there, how hard can it be?" you smiled confidently.

"very for someone like you, you're the most unathletic person i know." rin piped up coming out of his classroom and walking ahead of you guys. you were not appreciating his unwanted opinion.

"oh yeah? well you're the bitchiest person i know." you shot back catching up to him as all four of you walked off to the changing rooms.

----

you came out your changing room later than the other three. a lot more people turned up to football club than you had anticipated. the stands on the side of the school field were filled with all sorts of people watching.

the field itself didn't have many people and you were able to recognise a few other second years there. specifically nagi and reo from your class. the sight of the latter making you gag slightly.

your eyes also fell upon meguru, yoichi and rin, all supposedly warming up together, behind them you also caught a glimpse of some reddish brown hair making you feel giddy. you were about to make your way on the field as well until one of the coaches came up to you.

"sorry, no fans allowed on the field during practice." he said blowing your path, you looked up at him unimpressed.

"uh, hello? i'm no fan, i came here to play." you said putting your arms on your hips.

the coach blinked, looking down at you as if you were some joke before speaking up again, "even still, club today is an internal practice match between players who are on the team."

you glared at him, grumbling something underneath your breath before turning around and heading to the crowded stands to watch from the sidelines.

——————————

you slumped in your chair sat down on the side, watching as the head coach split them into two teams to play a match. you had really wanted to play, not only to show itoshi sae you're skills but also because playing football with your friends would've been fun.

a pout formed on your lips and your chin rested in the palm of your hands, the whistle commencing the start of the game. even with your lack of football knowledge, observing the match itself proved to be quite exciting, even if it was just a practice.

meguru was quite skilled with the ball, weaving through multiple players without losing any speed. rin, despite being the only first year on the pitch, was better than most of the people there as much as you hated to admit it. isagi also managed to score a goal at one point

however the one who stood out to you the most was itoshi sae. since the start of the game he had managed to score three goals and done so effortlessly, he had still yet to break a sweat.

your eyes were glued to him for the majority of the game, unable to look anywhere else. absorbed in his movements as if the game revolved around him, he made it all look so easy.

once the match was over and the head coach had finished giving them a final word, you rushed out of the stands and towards the fields to meet your three friends.

"guys! you were all so good!" you said excitedly as you sat down next to the them on the grass a few meters away from the penalty box.

the three of them were all sweating, panting slightly and drinking from their water bottles.

your eyes wandered to itoshi sae, stretching and warming down at the corner, the right side of the goal.

even when he's doing the bare minimum he still looks so...

you gulped nervously at the way his muscles flexed before drifting your eyes elsewhere to a ball not too far away.

yoichi must've noticed your gaze on the ball as he proceeded to ask, "are you thinking of trying to shoot?"

"yeah! take a shot (y/n)!" meguru cheered.

"I'll give it a try." you smiled walking over to the ball at the edge of the box.

i hope itoshi sae is watching.

you set the ball down at the top of the box in front of you on the penalty spot, stepping back before kicking with your left foot and missing the ball itself completely.

never mind, i hope he did not see that

you glanced at said boy occupying your mind who seemed fully focused on his stretches with his back turned to you. you let out a brief sigh before slowly turning round to meet your friends' expressions.

meguru and isagi immediately burst out laughing at your failed shot as rin simply sat staring at you judgementally which seemed to speak louder than the other two's reactions.

"shut up! i'm trying to copy what you guys were doing." you said ignoring meguru's giggles as you backed up from the ball ready to take another shot.

you took a little jog up to the ball, planting your left foot down and bringing your right foot to come straight forward and, this time, in contact with the ball.

you weren't too sure what you did, but the ball zoomed forward flying at an angle just like you had seen the others do earlier. your face lit up in delight, that was until you noticed that your shot was completely off target.

the delighted expression once upon your face fell, and the feeling of your heart sinking in your chest began to grow watching the ball aim far towards the right...

"hey- look out!"

...striking none other than itoshi sae in the back of the head.

prev | masterlist | next

SUMMARY: in which 2nd-year y/n l/n one day turns up at their high school and falls heads over heels with a certain 3rd-year, one who has a strict ‘no-dating’ policy.

taglist: @bluerskiees @ilovechuuyaa @bloombb @silly-ez @urdesaintess @saeswifeeee @kiopanxp @azharyy @winterpein @sarah-saystuff @krnsluvvie @biaonww @morgyyyyyyy @simpingmyassoff @sereniteav @gigiiiiislife @localgirlywithnolife

[obriengf]

How about no.5 with thomas for blurbs ?

send me a prompt for some oblivious love blurbs ✩ Notes: i changed the word "like" to "love" from the prompt because it suited better idk?

WRONG PLACE, RIGHT TIME ?

Timing was a luxury when it came to the seemingly everlasting battle against WCKD. If anything, it ran askew and unharmonious in adjacent to the nightmares that plagued closing eyes and the terrors that chased outlivers through each and every new day. It was hard to stop and think, let alone feel any emotion other than the will to just purely survive. It was even harder to recognise something that may have been right under your nose, when your focus was instead pulled forward as you looked possible death straight down the barrel of its gun. Thomas huffed; his throat wheezing slightly as he tried to catch his breath, back pressed against the solid structure of a brick wall. Beside him flopped Newt, looking worse for wear, and also stared at by a recently rescued Minho and exhausted Gally. It was bittersweet to watch these boys as they took a small moment to gather themselves - the night had dragged, and even you were feeling the detriments of your extricated mission a little more now that you managed to take a seat. Adrenaline continued to pump through your veins and exercise your heart just that little bit more than you'd deem safe, and it was keeping you focused enough, for now.

Thomas made the first move to rid the WCKD uniform jacket that weighed down his shoulders, the saturated material dripping to the ground before it bled into a haphazardly thrown heap. You followed him quickly until a deep breath filled your lungs with relief, your body no longer constricted nor branded by the threads of your enemy. It was Minho's voice that caught your attention next. Your eyes squinted with confusion, unsure of the words dripping with disbelief as they were spoken towards Newt. And that's when you saw the state of your friend up close, properly, since this break-and-enter mission had begun. Black veins, roots protruding from his arms trailed up his neck. They licked at his cheeks and provoked tired reddened bags to drag at his once soft caramel-toned eyes. They, too, were black as they challenged the night sky in a silent feud for the darkest pitch.

A nearby explosion shook you from your worried state; debris flying overhead, an avalanche of buildings falling to their knees, and Tanks with crazed vengeful men entering the now destroyed streets of the once grand city. It was time to leave, and to get Newt over to Brenda so that he could take the cure. You tuned back into the conversation between the boys in front of you when your name was mentioned - assigned to follow Gally and Minho - a route best leaving you safe. You disagreed, wholeheartedly. "Thomas, I'm not going anywhere without you." You said sternly, brows furrowed as you peered at him. You could see the months of stress integrating into the lines of exhaustion and worry between his eyes; he had driven himself to the ground to protect those that he cared for most, and you weren't going to be any different. He shook his head, "I'm fine. Seriously, you need to go, now -" "-No!" The boy grunted in agitation at your response, lips curled frustratingly before he was quick to grasp your wrist. He gently pulled you aside until his stressed gaze softened almost immediately after looking into your own. Thomas reached for you; fingertips careful as they brushed back loose strands of hair, revealing a cut to your forehead and a trail of dried crimson flakes. He had never been more tender as his thumb rubbed over the wound. "Listen to me. You need to go with them, Y/N. Please. If anything happened to you, I..." Words were lost as his tongue grew heavy, feelings of infatuation trying to break free. He didn't want to make this any harder, in case it was a goodbye. He didn't want to lay his heart on the line, and in the middle of such danger, if it meant the potential for one to shatter. But how could he not when you looked at him with such admiration. Your head shook, tone pleading as you begged, "I'm safest when I'm with you, Tommy. I always have been." He bit his lip, time ticking. You two never had just a moment - a simple, quiet, moment. One between you both where time could stand still. It was overdue but impossible. And you both knew it. The others waited patiently enough to allow a brief spell of privacy, but the air was thick with tension, and another explosion burst the bubble that held you both temporarily captive. Thomas groaned. "No, no you don't get it! I can't let anything happen to you... I-I love you, dammit! I need you to be okay! Out of every-fucking-thing that's happening right now, I need you to be okay! You are so damn reckless sometimes, just for once do what you are fucking told instead of asking for a death wish, I swear - " "Wait, you love me?" Your voice cut through his rant, hand cupping his cheek, and tone so incredibly quiet in contrast to the harshness around you all. "For God's sake - that's all you got from that?" "Guys, I get this is an intimate moment, but we need to get out of here, right now!" Gally called, his persona shrouded in restlessness as he looked over his shoulder. Thomas took one look at you. He did love you, so much. Sometimes it hurt him, and other times, it healed him. And he may never forgive himself if something happened to you, but as he noticed the beauty of mutual love that sprouted from your smile, he knew that he couldn't have you leave. It was hasty, borderline crazy, but Thomas reached for your hand that had warmed his cheek before he kissed your palm. He drew a sharp breath, shaking off any better judgement, "Okay then, just don't ever leave my side." "I promise. Always."

[roachrotting]

INTRO POST

This is my creepypasta sideblog. I haven't participated in fandom for a while. I am going to try again here!

- He/him and she/her pronouns, please. I'm 21. I'd prefer my following to be 18+. I'll probably softblock you here if you're a minor.

- Due to my fairly unlimited internet access as a kid, Creepypasta has been my special interest since 2011. I am also really into worldbuilding and interconnecting stories. I've wanted to create my own original take on a more mature 'Slender Mansion' setting for a while. I'll probably attempt to develop that here.

- I love to talk to other Creepypasta nerds. Please don't hesitate to shoot me a DM, ask, or server invite. I almost always follow back!

- My main is @jewin-your-mom. I reblog basically everything not-Creepypasta there.

- FUCK SNUFFBOMB.

Relevant Creepypasta Opinions:

- I am an advocate for the rewriting and the fandom-reclaimation of the more problematically-created Creepypasta characters. I'm also a fan of rewrites and transformative headcanons in general. Don't be surprised if either of those show up here.

- I'm a huge fan of Creepypasta OCs, including self-inserts, multiverse OCs, and OC shipping. I will reblog your cool characters, especially if you reblog mine!

- I'm a very literate roleplayer. I don't roleplay often anymore, but if you have a fun idea, feel free to pitch it to me.

- I am almost always ambivalent about the ages people interpret the Creepypasta characters as. I don't like arguing about it, either. The exception is people doing weird shit with Sally, because duh.

- Laughing Jack has been my favorite character since his origin story was published. I am kind of obsessed with him. I know some people are posessive over their faves, so if that upsets you, this might not be a fun spot.

- Marble Hornets (and other Slenderman-inspired ARGs) is included when I mention 'Creepypasta'.

- On my blog, cringe is dead. Bullying is dead. Drama is dead. Shame in self-enjoyment is dead. I'm going to have fun here, and I really hope you do too.

Alright, that's about all I have to say! I hope we can be friends. Please reblog so I can find more people to follow!

[skullzysworld]

This is a 18+ Blog, so if you are a kid, please skadadle outa here! This blog show mature subjects that may not be suitable for you!

Hi! The names Skullzy!!

Asks are open but anon is turned off. Also I will be opening commissions here shortly.

I will only be takeing requests at my own disclosure. You may ask, but I may not choose your question. So pls don't get upset if I don't choose you.

I will be posting more art, and suggestions are allowed if you think of something to add to the characters storys.

You can ask my ocs questions and I will do my best to have them answer.

You are more then welcome to talk to me! My Dms are always open! I'm am very friendly and enjoy meeting new art moots!

If I post anything you do not like, then pls do not interact.

If you have any questions for me, feel free to ask!

*✧･ﾟ:*｡･:･ﾟ★,｡･*:･ﾟ☆

Q&A

Below

*✧･ﾟ:*｡･:･ﾟ★,｡･*:･ﾟ☆

Who are your Ocs?

We have Ruby, Stella, Jasmine, Raja & Pitch, and Lilly! (P.s, I may have forgotten a bunch, so if you see a oc of mine that I didn't mention here, and you want to ask them a question, then pls make sure to add a photo in the submit thing so that way I know who it is lol 😅)

Is Skullzy you? If so what happend to your old username?

Yes she is! And if your a old fan here and wonder "what's with the new name?", well I wanted a actual name instead of just smp. I wanted to shake things up, and I feel like it was time for a change!

Do you do other Fandoms?

Sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love all the different type of Fandoms put there, but it's hard enough as it is to keep up with the undertale AUs and that, I don't have much to add to the many other AUs out there.

Are you LGBTQ?

I am not a part of the L.G.B.T.Q, but I do not have anything against them either. I am not part of it due to my religion. This is a safe place for anyone who is a part of it. I will never turn anyone away for what they believe (for the most part... as long as it doesn't hurt anyone)

Do you take commissions?

Yes I do! I will have some commission sheets here soon. But until then, I am holding off takeing any at this time.

Can we draw you fan art?

Of course!!! I always love it when I get fan art!! It always makes my day whenever that happens!

.

That's all I have now! If you have anymore questions, my dms are open!!!

[not-poignant]

If you don't mind me asking why did you stop working as a professional artist? Your work is amazing! I could totally see your animal artwork being in kids picture books or even on wrapping paper

Hi anon!

I'm so so glad you enjoy the art! That makes me happy. Feel free to check out my DeviantArt because there's a lot more there than elsewhere. :D (Eventually I'll probably be using ArtStation or something like that too dsalkfjsa).

I stopped working as a professional artist because of money. I make more money as a writer than I ever could as an artist, despite giving art my all. Not to mention that art gave me repetitive strain injuries in my wrists (that I still have to this day) as well as eye-strain and a few other physical ailments that I still have to be careful of.

While writing is hard on the body, it could never be as hard or challenging as my particular art style was. And after a while it just got hard to justify working that hard, in that much pain, for like 0.50c an hour. And while I don't make that much more these days, I definitely make more for less suffering!

But yeah it was purely a financial/economical decision. I still actually do make art! But I no longer do commissions, and I pretty much only do it when I feel like it. But some of the things I've done this year alone include:

I think professional traditional art is also in some ways less disability friendly than writing. Or at least the kind of writing I do. I'm a traditional artist, and the easiest ways to make money as a traditional artist are to go the gallery circuit, which requires visiting galleries, pitching to them, and being seen at gallery shows (all things I could not do), or to go the mass production circuit via selling prints and so on. But I also can't go to print shops. And I can't drive. And I can't get to the post office (Glen posts all my art for me). As a result, I have to use a lot of POD services (and I do have a Redbubble storefront!), and anyway, it just didn't work out.

I still sort of think of ways to monetise the art on occasion. Which is usually trying to go beyond the lifespan of just selling an original piece of art. I tried prints, that didn't didn't work out. I tried colouring pages, that didn't work out. Children's picture books are the least profitable form of writing and art-making out there, unfortunately (people don't know this, but it's the most competitive writing market out of all of them, with the least longevity, because kids grow out of picture books, so while a few authors make a mint, most authors and artists make a pittance). I released an oracle deck and that made me about $900 this year which... is both good and not great or sustainable.

So yeah, that's why. Because while I'm not making a liveable income still, it's more liveable for less labour. My decision to quit art was purely down to income, which is why I know if things get dire with writing, I will do the same with writing, because I have given away a creative career that I loved before.

That being said, I have the particular satisfaction of knowing that my artwork is owned / has been commissioned by a cameraman / cinematographer that worked with David Attenborough across many of his series, and filmed birds of paradise on location more than once (he purchased almost all of my birds of paradise illustrations). By a head zookeeper at London Zoo who got so many pieces we became friends and are mutuals across social media, and I got to meet her in 2019 and she took us 'behind the scenes' to spend a lot of personal time with penguins and we chatted for ages.

Because I've done so much creative natural history illustration I've made connections and friends with biologists and zoologists all over the world, and it's been a humbling privilege to have been able to draw the favourite animals of some people, especially when those animals rarely get artwork in general. And I still love animals, so I do still draw them.

But it likely won't ever be my main job again sdalfkdjs

[jaybird-baby-boy]

I love your Benrey design! Can you tell me more about his desing and about yours headcanon about him ?

Hi hi hi! My first ask! :3 I'll gladly explain my design for Benny boy.

Sorry if this goes off as a tangent, btw.

------ BENREY DESIGN ------

So, the way I draw Benrey took a little trial and error. My style shifts and changes a lot sometimes, and with certain characters it can be harder for me to find a way to draw them that I really like.

Personally, little, round headed man? pointy lil ears? I love it.

His hair has also gone through some changes in my style. When I started drawing him it was usually right at the neck/shoulders, then I started drawing him with just a mass of short lil spikey hair, and now currently we're in the 'hair almost to the bottom of the spine" length. I will always draw it as just pitch black darkness, and as scruffy as possible.

I dunno why but I absolutely love the designs of him where the shadow of his face is part of his hair, so that's what I stick with.

In his.. 'hair', are multiples of eyes and teeth, and the eyes often have their own expressions and emotions to them. Sometimes they just pop up somewhere and he ruffles his hair to make em go away.

I personally like drawing him as thin as a twig, but thicc boy benny is a very good hc as well.

When it comes to the Final Boss Benrey, my personal design for him is just this giant, vaguely human-esque inky mass of goopy flesh and eyes and limbs.

------ PERSONAL HEADCANONS ------

I don't have any full listing of my personal headcanons, but i guess now is a good time to start ^^

Please keep in mind these are just my personal headcanons, I like most hcs i find online but these are just my favorites to work with for art/rps

Benrey is an alien from Xen

Not only an alien from Xen but he also was practically raised in Black Mesa

He escaped confinement but didn't know how to get out so he just took a guard uniform to try and go undercover until he could maneuver his way out.

Heard about Gordon from other guards and scientists, so when they met he just decided to try and follow him in hopes he could lead him to the way out. The rest is history.

He struggles with speaking when he gets upset, and bonds with Joshua over this.

He loves Joshua to death, and bonds very well with the kid. They both like to harass Gordon endlessly.

He's pretty close with Tommy, they're pretty much best friends.

Personal clothing hcs for him is very much like he came straight out of Hot Topic or Spencers. I like to imagine him in shirts with psychedelia or mushroom themes. Otherwise, gaming merch.

He doesn't need to eat, sleep, nothing. But he likes doing everything human's do. He thinks its funny.

He doesn't feel pain much either, and can just regenerate/respawn or whatever when he dies. He ends up realizing that Gordon's hand won't ever regenerate, and that it was excruciatingly painful and feels extremely guilty about it.

Ship wise, I like putting him with Gordon (as i think like 70% of the fandom does), but I have grown a small interest in him and Tommy, or all three together.

If i think of anything else I'll add it to the post! If you have any more questions please feel free to ask! I'm also willing to draw anything mentioned here, I have the urge for doodles.

Thanks for the ask!~

-jaybird._.baby (ze/zir/zirs)

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

Number 35 for the Steddie prompts!! (Also Hiiiii!!!! Hope you're ok and that being free of education (for a bit) is doing you some good!!)

I'm doing okay, just spending the week with my grandpa helping him out on the farm! Just been really busy (Though I finally got my own computer so now I don't have to type all of this on my phone lmao)

Wanna force me to write, send a prompt in from this post to my ask!

Number 35: Villian Falls In Love With The Hero

tw: mentions of blood, violence and torture. Read at Own Risk

Arrow! Steve Harrington x Assassin Eddie Munson

Eddie grins up at the man with bloodied teeth, sweat rolling down his forehead from the heat surrounding them barely able to open his right eye from the black eye that was starting to form from each punch he’s taken. Each stroke of his tongue against his teeth confirmed what he had already assumed, at least three teeth were chipped from each swing the man threw. Fucking bastard.

Though none of this stops his eyes from lighting up with glee as the Russians fist pulls back into the air once more, threatening to strike down and break his nose this time. He didn't care, the man in front of him will not get one word from him.

Thankfully, Eddie was a bit of a masochist so he could literally do this all day.

"Where is he?" The man's accent is thick. Along with the slight ring in both of Eddie’s ears he could barely make out what the man is trying to ask him. Though after the first fifty times the man asked, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what he wanted.

"Where is who?" Eddie pretends to act dumb, they both know that wasn't the case here. There had been a reason why their boss had hired him specifically in figuring out the Arrow's identity. Which he of course, successfully did.

"The Arrow!" The man's voice raises a bit, cracking a bit from frustration. His bloody fist was starting to shake a bit from the pain that was being enforced onto his own body, exhaustion seeping into his bones from holding it up in the air for so long. His other hand tightly gripping the collar of Eddies ‘Black Sabbath’ shirt. Not as enthusiastic about getting the answer out of him like he had been hours ago.

"Your ass." Eddie holds a manic grin on his face as he squints his eyes a bit. The light above them blinding him, though he doesn't need to see to hear the slight whoosh of an Arrow being shot right where Eddie had said. Right into the unexpected mans ass.

It had only been a lucky guess that his hero had finally gotten there to safe the day.

The screams of the older man echo through the warehouse as he begins to hop up and down, only causing the arrow to shove deeper into his ass. His right hand that had been lifted into the air was now pulled all the way back closer to his ass, gripping the stem of the arrow tightly.

Eddies laughter was a tad higher pitched then his voice, and way louder than the others screams. Which was why he was the only one being heard by the other crew members that were being taken out just as fast as they were alerted. A second after the last body hits the floor Eddie feels the ropes of his hands being cut.

Before he could be stopped, he's hopping up and swinging his fist at the shocked Russians face. Proceeding to spit on him as he turns around, where he knew Steve was. Arms opening dramatically, grin never leaving his face.

"You came back for me!" He says excitedly, getting the answer to his question from earlier. Whether or not that island froze his heart entirely or not. He quickly moves over to the side, grabbing his own gear. A small bag of throwing knifes and a cross bow that was quickly loaded as he looks up. Seeing the hooded figure of Steve standing off to the side. In the shadows like normal.

"Remember, no kill shots Munson. We are doing this my way." His voice is deeper than what his day-to-day voice was. Using some trick to alter his voice, it was hot. Especially when they made it to the bedroom. Steve’s moans tended to be a bit more raspy after a night out. That combined with Eddie making the other hit high notes, it was a his own personal favorite orgasm wrapped tightly in a bow.

Eddie simply pouts after a second of processing the others words, "But that's no fun." He huffs a little. He did enjoy the creativity of finding ways of killing a man. The light leaving their eyes was simply a bonus.

He starts to skip on over to the other, his boots echoing across the cement as he quickly swings both his arms around the other's shoulders. Feeling the way, the other tenses up underneath him. He doesn't care as he moves his face closer to the others. The feeling in his stomach when he finally allows his lips to brush against the others was way stronger than any adrenaline rush from a kill. He would do - no he will do anything to keep this feeling.

When he pulls back his smile is softer, reserved only for the man's eyes in front of him. That were soft as well, both of them taking a moment to reunite before everything around them went crazy.

The entrance doors slam open, and their time is up. But Eddie doesn't care as he pulls the other back into a kiss, purposely swiping his tongue in the others mouth. Feeling the others hand tighten around his hip as they both fight each other for a second. Pulling back with a gasp as Eddie grins more crazily.

"I call topping tonight!"

Before he swings himself into action, not giving the other anytime to argue.

[cbncb0280]

Lost (Ben Solo x Reader) - Chapter 39

A/N: This is a copy of one of my fanfiction stories I posted onto Quotev. It's only one of the chapters though. Just to warn you that my entire story is a 15+ story and some scenes in it will definitely be unsuitable for people under aged 15. Btw, it's also on 'All Rights Reserved' so please don't steal any of it without my permission, thanks.

But please just enjoy and the new chapter will be out soon! Please feel free to send me a comment below too. :)

Warnings: Passionate kiss scene, a horrific bitch is included

Queenie & Y/N's Pov (a day later)

"Y/N?" Queenie asked while knocking on your room door.

"Come in," you answered while smiling as she came in.

"Are you alright Y/N?" She sounded rather concerned as you looked rather thunder-stuck.

"Erm, I'm fine I guess. Just rather shocked at what happened yesterday."

You didn't tell the full truth. Something was bothering you and you didn't want to admit it.

"You don't seem as though you're okay though. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? I'm your friend and I'll always be here for you. Maybe we could play a game to helo cheer you up?"

"Thank you Queenie. You're such an amazing friend. I would just rather not talk about it as everyone I'm sure likes to keep at least one thing to themselves. It's not as though someone would want to see someone else go to the toilet in front of them! Yeah, sure. Let's play a game."

You and Queenie laughed so hard that you both very clumsily walked downstairs and almost fell! Thankfully, Alex was there to grab you both and then he took you both to the Dining Room to play a game.

You, Queenie, Alex, Clara, Iris, Jess, Adrian, David and your new friend named Rayla were going to play this game you had made up yourself. It was based on Chess but instead it was the Light Side versus the Dark Side of the Force. You, Alex and Queenie helped to make up some of the characters for this game.

All of you were included in the game as characters as well as some random dudes and girls you made up together. When you played it for the first time while being on a side with Queenie, Alex and Adrian, your team won because of you. However, sometimes it was hard to pipe down and concentrate as you all got very giggly and excited as you played it. Alex even gave you a kiss on the cheek and put his arms around your chest making you blush.

But something was still holding you back from truly enjoying yourself at times. This is the thing that you didn't want to mention to Queenie. The fact that you and Ben's relationship was torn apart and wrecked after being so close for all these years. It broke your heart and his too.

Ben was still in the hospital wing. Maybe you could go to meet him? Or does he not want to be friends and intimate with you anymore?

Ben's Pov

After coming out from another crappy coma for about a day, Ben for some reason was able to move absolutely well. Sadly, a jedi sacrificed his life to save his own as Ben was bleeding everywhere. The jedi healed him through the Good Side of the Force.

Luke told him all this and Ben wasn't sure how to feel about this at all.

But who was dis man who saved him?

Crappily, a high-pitched voice just appeared into his head again. He was completely alone and cursed the voice after it said it's words.

"Ben Solo-Wolo! Forget about Y/N! She's not worth it!"

"LARA, YOU BITCH! SHUT UP!" He screeched out loud.

"Benny, please! I wanna tell you something womethy!"

"Just get out my head, you miserable bitch! You deserve to be all alone!"

"You don't though!"

This really surprised Ben but he could definitely see through to her.

"Are you trying to manipulate me?"

"Benny Wenny, you need to listeny to me-ee we-ee! Y/N is a bitch! I've seen what she would do through a vision! All that has happened now! She doesn't love you anymore. She's turned into a right old rude bitch now! Just leave her be!"

Ben could sense through the Force that every single one of Lara's words were literally one-hundred percent accurate. No, for once in her life, Lara told the truth? And about his Y/N too? Sure not!

"Okay?" Is all he could say as a reply.

"Oh Ben Solo-Wolo! Do leave her be and stop envying her! You're literally talking to the fabulous, beautiful, spectacular Lara Jackson! Sometimes, I call myself 'Lara Lara' for a laugh and to spread the message of my name. I can help you though."

"No! Get outta my head, you dumbass Bitch of all bitches!"

However, the Force had told him that Lara was telling the truth, but he still refused her offer.

"Oh Benny-Lenny-Wenny," she started but was cut off by Ben who automatically snapped at her.

"Stop calling me that! Just shut up and stop chattering useless garbage to me! Out! Now!"

"Awwww, is Benny unhappy and talking to a bitch? Noooo, he's not. Awwwww."

"GET OUT!" And then there was complete silence and something about the Force really caught his heart.

Could Lara be a key to gain power? Would he be able to achieve his ambitions through her?

As for now, he was starting to let go of Y/N through all of that. Although it was very hard, he still felt it was best to let go of the past. Ignore the lighter side of himself and become more attached to the darker part.

Maybe Lara wasn't so bad after all. After all, she was a bitch due to her family being that way. His parents literally abandoned him though (in his stubborn opinion) and never had much time to even pay the littlest bit of attention to him.

However, the Light Side of him so desperately wanted Y/N back and to at least have a family who'll love him and pay more attention to him. But the Dark Side of his jealousy for Y/N wanted to punish all her new flipping friends for stealing her away from him, and especially that Queenie girl who was once a member of his arch-enemy's gang of 'friends' and Alex who seemed to want to start dating her...

Y/N's Pov (1 year later - aged 14)

Two more years had past and you felt more than happy than ever. You had a new group of really nice friends and many others on your side.

You had become less shy and a lot more self-confident than how you felt years before.

It was sad for you that you and Ben were no longer together or even friends. He just went down his own path in the end. Having said that, if it hadn't been for that then you probably would never have made the friends you had today. The amount of friends you had was 31.

But through the Force, you once sensed that darkness was growing inside Ben and you thought it was best to keep away from him.

Right now, you were with your main friendship groul in the lunch area while Alex suddenly went up to you and started playing with your hair and massaging it. You blushed at the handsome man's actions.

"You know Y/N," Clara started while laughing, "I think you and Alex would make a great couple. It's true. You're like perfect for each other."

"Oh really Clara!" You said sarcastically in a friendly way. "Nahhh, we can't. We wouldn't. We're just friends."

Alex looked down at you with a face to show his feelings for you.

"Y/N, Alex obviously has feelings for you. Just look at the way he looks at you, touches you and is doing to you right now!" Clara began to get all excited.

You turned around at Alex who was smirking at you. Then he grabbed your hand and whispered something in your ear.

"Come with me, Y/N."

You blushed and followed him to his room while holding hands. Not noticing the very jealous and defensive, angry face of someone who was once friends with Y/N but no longer. He then immediately left the room to do something... (A/N: This isn't a dream, this is actually happening).

While you walked around this huge Jedi Temple and arrived at Alex's room, your nerves hunched up in excitement while adrenaline moved around all over your body.

"Y/N," he started while kissing your cheek and put his arms around your chest, "please, let me."

You turned around and look into his handsome face, then immediately kissed him hardly on the lips. He massaged your back fast and pulled you over to his bed.

Both of you passionately kissed hardly and enjoyed rolling on top of each other on his bed. Alex felt super tempted to do something else with you, but before he could even try after snogging your pretty neck, the door slammed open with a male growing boy.

The boy had black hair and was now very tall. He got out his lightsaber and Alex quickly got off you to turn on his. Was a fight between Ben Solo and Alex Whisletone to begin?

You just sat on Alex's bed in horror, advising Alex to be careful and not fight your ex-boyfriend, Ben Solo...

"What now?" He automatically asked Ben.

But Ben's face was fuming with pure rage and utter hatred. Tears of terrifying anger and true sadness about to come out his face. It was so obvious for both yourself and Alex to tell the horrific and such negative expression on his once beautiful but now evil face...

"What now? What do you want Ben? To steal Y/N from me?"

And that was that. A fight was about to begin...

[karamell-sweetz]

project sekai commissions wishlist

aka: producers who i want to make an original song for proseka (who we haven't gotten yet ofc)

i'll update this if anything happens! (last update: 27 may 2023)

inabakumori

iyowa (mmj - ‘momoiro no kagi’)

omoi

yuyoyuppe (leo/need commission - 'voices')

maiki-p

kuriyama yuri (hachiya nanashi)

halyosy....... (leo/need - 'flyway')

maretu (maybe not due to the nature of his content? beatmap would be fun)

kikuo

easypop (are they still active or??) (mmj - 'dream place')

azari

teniwoha (n25 - 'samsa')

hihumi

jimmythumb-p (if he's still active)

utsu-p

tuyu/pusu (wxs - 'what sort of ending are you wishing for?')

niki

okame-p

hiiragi kirai

otetsu

hitoshizuku x yama (the day we get them will be the day i transcend) (wxs - 'mr showtime')

nashimoto ui (if he's still active. it'd be so crunchy and fun)

last note

mimi

umetora

misumi

23.exe

nyanyannya

oonuma parsley

rusino

wotaku (how in the balls did i miss wotaku the first time whhhh)

kitazawa kyouhei

meiyo

seventhlinks

and now for the maybe pile... (i.e. they don't fit the bill of 'vocaloid producer'/they retired from the vocaloid scene, but project sekai can do anything!)

anyone from elements garden (i.e. the people who made the bandori and d4dj songs. HIGHLY UNLIKELY,,,,, but a girl can dream)

hachi

english producers (crusher, kyaami, kira, ghost and pals, r.i.p, vocacircus, creep-p, etc.... it’d be so cool to get more eng songs in the game!!)

teddyloid (we’d probably get a remix or sth. it’d SLAP,,,, and the master will be level 32)

bump of chicken (we got hello,world and ray, we can do it again)

camellia (the beatmap would be horrid /pos but i think it'd be cool!)

ryo/supercell (not sure what happened to him but i'm assuming he's not in the vocaloid scene anymore?)

masa works design

yorushika (if this happens i will evaporate into a happy cloud)

taku inoue

kotonohouse

yunomi

fake type (listen. listen to me. wxs or vbs. it'd be so fun)

snail's house

moe shop

repeat producers (i.e. producers we already had event commissions for)

[teaboot]

Tips for working with children?

1. Don't lie to them if you can avoid it. Water down truths at your discretion, but if you try to lie outright, a good number of them are probably going to pick up on your weird energy and figure you're hiding something. This will very likely come off as "adult who doesn't think we're real people", which is how you promote rebellion.

2. Listen to the problems they come to you with. Imagine they were your problems. If Brůnden at work stole all your pens and ignored your requests to leave you be, you'd be pretty pissed if your manager told you to "just use your nice words" or "let him get bored". Decide what you would want an adult to do, and form a reasonable response.

3. Let some of your weird (child appropriate) interests show. Odds are, when they see your passion, they'll take interest. I accidentally wound up teaching an intro to animal biology to a group of first graders in my after school program this way, and it became what they knew me for. Great for bonding, teaching, and bartering for completed chores.

4. Learn about things they're interested in, but don't force it into things. It'll help you understand what you overhear, and pitch in at the right moment.

5. Treats and stickers. They work on adults, and they work on kids. Make them take a little bit of effort to earn, but also pick special occasions where everyone gets one free. Once you get a better idea of their personalities, lives, strengths, and weaknesses, you can tailor this for personal growth.

6. Acknowledge their feelings. Verbally affirm that they are upset, they are frustrated, they are angry or sad, and encourage them to explain why, and work to find acceptable solutions. Staying perfectly calm and happy while they're angry might help to a point, but ignoring their obvious feelings will make them feel that you don't care or understand, which will make things worse. A lot of kids have a hard time figuring out how adults feel, and why, so empathy will need to be clearer.

7. Play with them on their own level. When you play a game they started on their own, follow their rules, and if you can't, explain why. Expect a few of them to try and mess with you. You're not as distant or alien if you can fall for the same things they do, or admit when you've been outsmarted or outclassed. Be aware that some rules may change at random, and don't go all out on winning.

8. Be honest in ways other adults won't be. When telling a personal story, mention offhand that you didn't like someone, or someone was mean for no reason, or another adult was rude or broke rules, they'll see that you think and feel in similar ways as them, and it can reinforce that yeah, sometimes life is unfair, no, growing up doesn't numb your personality, and no, you don't have to feel happy and positive and pleasant all the time. Sometimes things just suck, and you need to handle it maturely. It's acting on bad feelings that's bad, not the bad feelings themselves. And hey, sometimes adults ARE mean or rude or wrong! They're not crazy or dumb when they notice!

9. Literally just be yourself. Curb any cursing or inappropriate subject matter, but otherwise, they'll recognize that you're an individual with your own personality, and either they'll like you or they won't. Either way, they'll decide how to act from there. Kids are mostly just distilled adults with social restrictions, they can adapt to a lot.

[theteasetwrites]

Tower of Strength

❧ Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female Reader ❧ Era: Season 7 ❧ Pronouns: she/her ❧ Warnings: mentions of abuse/torture/trauma ❧ Word Count: 4.1k

❧ Requested by anonymous (this request)

❧ Summary: You're reunited with Daryl, a man who's been by your side since the beginning, after he breaks free from the grasp of Negan and the Saviors. His absence has made you aware of some new feelings, and his experience has made him realize just how much you mean to him. When you ask what he'd gone through, he's afraid to appear weak in front of you, but he can't hold anything back anymore. Neither can you...

❧ A/N: Just a sweet moment of two people who have basically always loved each other but didn't quite know it until they went without each other. I really loved writing the desperation and the pining... And, of course, the beautiful moment they confess to each other. Daryl totally seems like he'd be insecure to talk about his struggles because he doesn't want to appear weak, when really it makes him stronger, and y'all know I love playing with the theme of weakness/strength (see The Beginning series lol... I'm always rambling about it). Enjoy!

You waited for him for what felt like an eternity. You couldn’t quite comprehend how long it was, maybe a week, maybe a little less, but he was gone, taken by Negan and his men, and that broke you. Maybe you never realized just how much you cared about Daryl, but when he was gone, with no foreseeable return, you felt a part of your heart wither away like a flower petal, stuck for too long inside a vase of stagnant water. 

The moment you saw him as you came through the gates of Hilltop, the moment he took you in his arms before even looking at anyone else in your group, you woke up from a terrible nightmare, one that both horrified you and brought you to a realization, a fate that left you trembling in his arms and sobbing his name into his shoulder.

His scent was strong, sweeter than you had noticed before. It wasn’t just pine and tobacco, but also something sugary and floral at the same time, a curling aroma that you were sure your mind had conjured up on its own accord. 

He felt different, too. Under your fingertips, his body conformed to the curve of your hand so effortlessly, and never before had you even stopped to think about how good he felt beside you, his body melting perfectly into yours as he, too, cried into your shoulder, whispering your name over and over again until he must’ve lost the ability to speak.

Oh, and his voice… You’d heard his voice in your head since he was taken, that gruff, deep voice with a strange hint of softness to it, a twinge of a higher pitch that came out when he spoke to you and a select few within your group. In bed at night, when you found you couldn’t sleep, your mind circling in worry as you could only hope he was all right, his voice came to you, saying things he always used to say to you: “Don’t go too far,” “I’ll be right back,” “Be careful,” “Stay close to me.”

Everything he had ever said to you suddenly became a benediction, a holy sacrament more sacred than anything Jesus Christ could say. You felt the loss of him so greatly that his absence colored every move you made, every breath you took, only the color wasn’t vibrant or rich like it had been before, it was dull and lusterless, muddy and black. 

You’d never realized just how much he meant to you before he was taken away so abruptly, so unceremoniously right from your hands. You remembered now, too—you were holding his hand when Negan’s men dragged him away. 

He’d quite literally been ripped away from you, pulled right out of your grasp until all that was left was the essence of him, and soon that drifted away too, leaving nothing but the reality of his absence in its wake.

Now that he was here, sitting beside you, marinating in the silence between you after everyone had retreated to their trailers for the night, you couldn’t think of a thing to say. There were thoughts bouncing around your brain constantly, every word of what you wanted to say to him threatening to pour out of your mouth if you dared to open it, but you were scared, to put it mildly.

You’d known Daryl since the beginning, since the world began to decay and turn itself inside out until its bloody, fleshy interior enveloped every last living thing. Ever since then, he’d been kind to you, caring and even overbearing at times in how intent he seemed on keeping you safe, but one thing had always remained true, too—he wasn’t one to share his feelings.

Now, if you opened up to him, told him how much you missed him, how much you needed him, you were sure he’d recoil, at the very least. Maybe he’d never even speak to you again, but you wanted to let him know how much he meant to you, how much you thought about him, how much you cared.

More than that, though, you wanted to make sure he was okay, just like he’d always done with you.

“Daryl,” you said softly, careful not to open your mouth too much lest the avalanche of disjointed, emotional declarations of admiration crush any possibility of maintaining your dignity. “How are you?”

They were the first real words you had spoken to him since you’d been reunited, besides the few words you’d mustered out against his shoulder as you sobbed uncontrollably. As such, he looked at you almost skeptically, wondering if you were really speaking to him, if the sound of angel’s trumpets in his ears was just a hallucination or actually your sweet, sonorous voice.

“‘M fine,” he said. 

You found that hard to believe, considering he was so much more quiet than usual—and Daryl was usually pretty quiet anyway.

You took a deep breath, trying to figure out your next move. You knew Daryl enough to see there was something bothering him, that he was different since the last time you saw him that day Glenn and Abraham were slaughtered mercilessly by Negan. You were all different, of course, but Daryl was also kidnapped by Negan, and you could only imagine what they had done to him.

There had to be more going on in his head, and maybe he did want to keep it to himself, fight his own demons as he so often did, but your newfound adoration for him tugged at your heartstrings, urging you to be there for him if he did feel the need to pour his heart out to you. It would have to be a delicate procedure, more like open-heart surgery than anything else, but you’d start slow. He deserved that much.

“Hey,” you said, scooting closer to him on the picnic bench you’d both sat upon for hours, with a thick air of silence between you. “Um… I’m glad you’re back. Really glad.”

He nodded as he chewed his bottom lip, peering through strands of cascading hair to meet your gaze. “‘M glad too.”

You smiled shyly, though there was pain in his face, exacerbated by the bruising just barely faded after what must’ve been a terrible ordeal by the hands of the Saviors. 

He seemed to flinch just a little when you raised your hand, but as soon as he recognized what you were doing, you swept back his hair, pinning it delicately behind his ears to get a better look at his face. He looked tired, worn out, and discolored. He’d always had such a beautiful light olive skin tone, but now his complexion seemed drained of the color he once had.

He slumped his shoulders, as if ashamed. In truth, he was. He was ashamed to look this way before you, and embarrassed by his inability to say what was on his mind. He’d once been so blunt with you, so straightforward and ready to say exactly what he thought, but now that he’d been demoralized by the Saviors, he felt small, like he wasn’t worth your time in any way. 

The past two or three years, however long it had been since he’d met you, he’d found himself silently seeking your approval, and his way of doing so was protecting you, keeping you safe and standing tall as your tower of strength. That’s what he needed to be for you, to keep you going, to keep everyone going, but you above all else. The way he saw it, he needed to be strong for you, and what had happened to him at the Sanctuary left him a broken man, unable to care for you the way you needed in this world, so he wasn’t entirely sure he could open up about what had happened. 

“You can tell me,” you said. 

Your voice saying those words nearly broke him, but it wasn’t his heart that was broken, it was his barrier, the one you always seemed able to crack despite his feeble attempts to keep you away. Really, he knew he couldn’t keep you away. You were his weakness, after all. He’d known that for a while now. Maybe since the very beginning. 

He averted his gaze, looking back into the base of the fire that was beginning to die down, almost reduced to ash. “Tell ya what?” he asked, trying to keep up his defenses as long as possible. It was a force of habit, and Daryl was a creature of habit. 

The feeling of your hand cradling his didn’t send him flinching this time, it only made him look back your way, trying to find the courage in your face to open up to you the way he needed to.

You offered him a small smile, understanding and without any condescension or pressure. It was so sweet and natural, a smile only you could give to him.

“Tell me what happened… If you want to.”

Of course he wanted to. It was eating him up inside. It wasn’t necessarily that he needed to tell just anyone about what had happened. He wasn’t sure he was even capable of doing that. There were probably a handful of people he’d trust to tell them what he’d gone through at the Sanctuary, but you, you were the one he needed to talk to. He just couldn’t bear to be seen as anything but your strong, stoic Daryl, who’d fought for you and risked his life for you time and again. That was his purpose, he thought, and he’d failed you somehow, even if he couldn’t help that he was taken that day.

“Daryl,” you said, several beats of silence having passed since you last spoke. “You’re hurting. It’s okay to hurt, but if I can ease that hurt for you, I want to. Whatever you need, I’m here. And… you don’t have to talk to me about it, but I know it would help me if I had someone to talk to.”

He swallowed hard, nodding his head as he couldn’t deny your words now that they’d been absorbed by the space between the two of you, hanging in the balance as he tried to work up the courage to speak. 

It was true—he was hurting. There were many reasons why, all of which stemmed from that night and the subsequent time he spent at the Sanctuary, wallowing in his own shame for what he’d let happen, as if it was all his fault. He bore a cross too heavy to withstand all by himself, and despite how much he hated the idea of putting that burden on you in any way, he needed you. He knew that more now than ever before.

He knew it from the moment he let go of your hand that night, terrified that now he didn’t have you in his grasp, something might happen. You hadn’t been apart from him ever since you first met, always together, always hand-in-hand or shoulder-to-shoulder. You and him against the world, always. That’s how it had to be, he was convinced, so when he let go of you, and when he was dragged away, he knew more than ever that his connection to you was more than the need to keep you safe. It was that, but there was a reason for it. It wasn’t just some strange impulse, it was love. 

He drew out his breath and prepared to speak, ready to risk losing that connection if you no longer felt he could keep you strong when he felt so weak.

“Coulda been worse,” he said, immediately downplaying his imprisonment at the Sanctuary, as he was wont to do. He avoided your eye contact, opting instead to look down at the dirt with which his muddied boots made contact. It reminded him that he wasn’t still in that cell, that he wasn’t still naked and writhing in the corner. 

“They, uh… locked me up. Tossed me in a little room. It was dark…”

He looked back up to you, venturing to see how you reacted. It wasn’t what he’d feared, not disgust or disappointment. It was sadness, plain and simple. He’d seen it before, many times on the road, but this was different. 

Indeed, you were hurting now, just knowing the slightest detail, but you wanted to feel that hurt, just so you could take some of the pain away from him, if that was possible. You’d share it with him, make the burden easier to shoulder, together.

“Go on,” you said with a nod, squeezing his hand a little tighter. He gazed down at your hand in his, feeling from that point of contact every ounce of your sympathy. You didn’t even need to say anything, it was all in that sweet touch of yours. “You can tell me anything.”

There were some parts he dreaded telling you, deep in his heart, but somehow, this seemed to make him stronger. He could feel it, how just revealing the tiniest detail renewed him, or maybe it was how you held him, so tender and with the utmost care and gentleness, like you were holding a newborn child. 

He swallowed hard, preparing himself once again to relive it in the hopes he could more easily forget it. “They, uh… Took my clothes. Left me in there a while. It was cold. Real cold… Finally someone came in, threw me some dirty sweatshirt.”

Only the warmth of your hand could keep him going now as he could almost smell the rancid air in that rotting cell. At least the fresh air awoke him from that brief memory, and he returned his gaze to accept the reassurance from your glassy eyes.

“They fed me dog food,” he said, scoffing a little at the thought. “Put it between two pieces of bread. Wasn’t so bad… Coulda been worse, I guess.”

He shrugged then, unsure of what else to tell you. He’d seen so much, felt so much, that the whole ordeal was like overexposure to the point he still couldn’t quite comprehend everything. He’d been beaten, mentally tortured, and essentially enslaved, but that all paled in comparison to the thought that haunted him through it all: he’d never, ever see you again.

“That’s terrible, Daryl,” you said shakily. You knew there must’ve been more, but you weren't ready to pressure him into reliving anymore gruesome details. Besides, you weren’t entirely sure you could even handle anymore tonight, knowing Daryl had already experienced so much that broke your heart just thinking about it. “I… I can’t even imagine. I mean, just thinking about what you must’ve gone through… I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head, but he grasped tighter at your hand, as if accepting the strength you were giving him through your touch. It was just a tiny morsel, but it was exactly what he needed, what he’d been wanting the whole time he was away from you. He’d been yanked out of your grasp that night, but now he was back with you hand-in-hand, the way it was supposed to be.

“How are you?” he asked, and you really felt then that you were talking to Daryl, the man who always changed the subject, wanting nothing more than to hear about you rather than to hear himself talk, even if that’s what you wanted. In fact, you always wanted to hear him talk. His voice soothed you, and more than once you’d found yourself replaying his voice in your head in times of distress just to hear him.

You sniffled and rubbed your nose with your other hand. “I’m okay,” you said with a nod, as if to reassure yourself. “I mean, I wasn’t.”

He tilted his head, curious as to your meaning. “You weren’t?”

“When you were gone,” you clarified, lowering your head when you realized how pathetic you sounded. You had no right to complain, you thought, not when Daryl had gone through what he did, but it was the truth—you were hurting, too. “I, um… I was really worried, and I missed you a lot… Believe it or not.”

He scoffed, his lip quirking up just the slightest bit. It was a beautiful sight, that was for sure. In fact, that was like your own personal aurora borealis, rare and beautiful. That smile, no matter how faint, could light up the entire night sky, while all around you the oppressive cold of the arctic world raged on. You couldn’t notice it, though, not when he warmed you up from the inside out. 

“Little old me?” he asked, slightly amused for a moment, until he saw the hint of pain behind your smile, a detail most wouldn’t have noticed, but Daryl wasn’t most people. “Hey,” he said, this time squeezing your hand. “I’m here now.”

You nodded, sniffling and trying to hold back your tears. You were always such a crybaby, but when it came to Daryl, you were an emotional wreck. He tended to bring that out in you. 

“I know you are,” you said, bringing your other hand to overlap his. “Daryl, I… I don’t ever want to be away from you again.”

You hadn’t even planned to let those words fall out of your mouth, but you knew from the moment you saw him that your feelings would win out in the end, and whatever rational excuse your irrational brain tried to conjure up would be too flimsy compared to how you really felt. You only hoped you wouldn’t have to explain yourself, that Daryl would catch onto what you meant—you needed him with you, in every possible way. That was just a fact now.

He seemed almost frozen at that, except for the hand he lifted to stroke your cheek, catching your tears as they fell. He always hated it when you cried, mostly because it made him cry, and how was he supposed to be strong for you if he was crying?

“(Y/N),” he said quietly, and you feared the worst. You feared he’d outright reject you, tell you that he cared for you, but you were coming on too strong. Indeed, you felt like you had possibly gone too far, admitting to him that you wanted nothing more than to be by his side for the rest of your life, in a way you hadn’t been by his side before. You wanted to love him. Well, you were already sure you did love him, but you wanted it to be real, not just a feeling.

“I, uh…” He interrupted his words with a gruff throat clearing as he straightened his back, still adjusting himself to receive the most intimate words you’d ever said to him. 

It took him aback, and his default insecurity told him that you must not have known what you were saying, that you were delirious from the shock of seeing him again, but you’d already opened the floodgates now, and there was no way he wasn’t going to tell you exactly what he felt, too.

“I don’t wanna ever be away from you either,” he said. 

You smiled through your tears, letting go of his hand to wrap your arms around him, nearly sending him backwards on the bench. Perhaps you appeared a little too eager, but at this point, you’d known him so well you didn’t care. All you needed now was to hold him in your arms, and for him to hold you back, which he did, tightly. Oh, so very tightly. 

“You okay?” he asked, rubbing your back as the last of your tears dropped onto his cotton black shirt. 

“Yeah,” you sniffled. “I’m okay. Sorry, I just… I really, really missed you.”

He smiled over your shoulder, nuzzling his head against yours. He smelled the sweet pomegranate and citrus of your hair as his fingers absentmindedly grasped at your head, lacing through your soft locks as he wondered if your words were your permission, your invitation, to initiate something else, to change the nature of your relationship forever.

It had to have been, he surmised. How else could you possibly achieve never being away from each other again? This was your confession, your way of saying you loved him. Still, you were so delicate to him, despite how strong you’d proven yourself to be. He’d always handle you so softly, the way he felt you deserved to be treated, and if he was going to initiate this, he was going to do it right.

“When I was in that cell,” he said, almost whispering into your ear as he continued to hold you for dear life, “all I could think about… all I wanted… was you.”

He’d never been too good with words, but at least he’d sufficiently been able to get out exactly what he’d been thinking since he first saw you that day. He’d told you about his experience, at least, what he could manage to get out, but really, what he wanted to get off his chest more than anything else was how much he yearned for you then in his weakest moment, so vulnerable and frightened without you. Perhaps you were his tower of strength, too. He knew that now.

“Daryl,” you sighed, raising your hands to hold his strong shoulder blades. His body wrapped up in yours was always the most precious thing to you. Even when you barely knew each other and he stiffened under your friendly touch, nothing could ever compare to the feeling of him. “I love you.”

In the depths of his soul, he knew that, and he knew he loved you, too. That truth had remained unspoken between the two of you for a while, but hearing it out loud was like hearing the voice of God himself. 

“I really, really, really love you,” you clarified, your voice a little muffled from your face being buried in his shoulder. 

He chuckled under his breath before pulling back just enough to look at you, your eyes wide with innocence yet somehow burning with some kind of passion he had never seen in anyone before. No one had ever looked at him like that, not with that fire.

“I love you,” he repeated, holding your cheek in his hand. “(Y/N), I love you so goddamn much.”

Oh, that sent you over the edge, your body melting into his as his other hand held your waist steady. You were sure if he didn’t have his strong grip on you that you’d turn into sludge, but he was always so strong, even after he’d been made to feel so weak. If he had you, he was strong, and if you had him, you were strong, too.

“Please kiss me, Daryl,” you said (or begged, rather). “And then never stop kissing me.”

He huffed in amusement at your request, and as much as he desperately wanted to fulfill it, he knew he could only kiss you so much until he had to come up for air, but if he died from kissing you, he supposed that wouldn’t be such a bad way to go.

“I’ll kiss ya,” he said, his thumb almost having a mind of its own as it traced over the pillows of your lips, slightly agape in awe of his presence. Your eyes turned hazy, fluttering closed as his thumb teased you. “But I’m gonna have to stop at some point, girl.”

You shook your head at that, taking his hand in yours and pressing a faint kiss to his palm as you looked him deep in the eyes. Even in the darkness they were so blue, or maybe you just knew his eyes so well you didn’t even need to see the color to know they were two whirlpools in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Either way, they swallowed you whole.

“Never stop,” you said. “At least for tonight. Just… kiss me all night.”

He was intent on doing just that, finally uniting his lips to yours in one desperate lunge. All your strength went into that kiss, and all of his did, too. Together you shared in the sweetest embrace either of you had ever felt, touching and exploring each other until, indeed, there was hardly any air left between the two of your panting mouths. 

“All night?” he asked into your lips, trailing his own around your mouth as he tried to regain his breath, yet still bestow upon you his precious kisses. 

“Yes,” you sighed. Your hands tangled in his hair, pulling him back to your lips so you could taste him again, that taste you were already addicted to. “All night… and forever.”

~

Thanks for reading! Likes, reblogs, and comments of any kind are always appreciated!

Masterlist

[inhyvck]

NCT DREAM; 7Dream . . . . Fem!reader

⠀⠀⠀⠀➥ Admiring/Doing things with their hands •ଓ.°

↻ Genre; Fluff

↻Warnings; mentions of food

A/n; first of all, stfu no i do not have a hand kink, no i am not fetishizing hands, and yes I am a simp for hyuck's hands. God i need some grass, well anyways imma go cry myself to sleep now. Also, I'm so srry about chenle's scenario being unnecessary, i just ran out scenarios for him KANKDKAJD i had another idea that was really cute but i didn't know how to add the headcanon thing in it skjfkalkfkf.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The rest are under the cut !

❏ ⨾ MARK

You were just sitting beside him, minding your own business as he does his work on his laptop. Every now and then you would glance at him, watching his fingers tap on the keys. You haven't noticed how pretty his hands were until now. It had callouses from playing the guitar but it heals over time, leaving his skin soft.

Mark then stretches his arms, twisting his wrists to prevent it from aching, as he lets out a yawn. He props his arms on the arm rest, his head thrown back as he becomes deep in his thoughts.

Eyes opening as he felt a pair of hands taking in his, weaving it in their fingers. He turns to you, still deep into a book you were reading, the other free hand playing with the back of his hand. You felt each healing callouses, tracing them with your fingers.

"How long have you been sitting there?" You look up from your book, smiling softly. "A while. Are you finished?" He nods, pulling the office chair that you sat in closer to him, he brings your hand up to his lips, kissing the back of it. "Let's get some food cause I'm starving."

❏ ⨾ RENJUN

Renjun had invited you for a movie night at their dorms with the rest of dream. You waited patiently on the couch, finding something good to watch on netflix. A few moments later, the boys started piling in with snacks and drinks, your boyfriend following behind.

"Did you wait long?" He gave you a peck on the lips, haechan making gagging sounds in the back. "Not really." You gave him a smile as he does. After he takes off his jacket, renjun cuddles under the blanket with you on the couch, haechan whining when he spots you two relaxing while they prepare the snacks.

Your habit of taking in renjun's hand in yours doesn't faze him, though considering he isn't that much of a fan of skin ship, it does make your heart flutter knowing he allows you to play with them. Giving each finger attention, rubbing over his palm contently. You admire the birthmark place on his right hand, tracing an unknown shape.

"Your hands are cute," you giggled, crossing your fingers as he squeezes your hand in his. Haechan notices the two of you holding hands, taking a seat the left of renjun. "Renjunnie~" he says in a high pitch voice, wrapping his arm around renjun's. Your boyfriend let's out a groan making you giggle at the two.

❏ ⨾ JENO

"Yah lee jeno," you called, leaning your hand onto the desk as he continues plaing his game. "Lee jeno," you called again but he doesn't bat an eye. He was too focused to even notice you were there. You tore his other hand away from the keyboard and slipped yourself in between him and the desk to sit on his lap.

"Couldn't it wait 'till im done, baby?" He adjusts one side of the headset to focus on you. You whined, shaking your head in the crook of his neck, "I want cuddles please," you whispered against his hoodie. He let you sit there in silence until he finished up this one round. And surprisingly, even if he had been violently tapping on his keyboard you looked comfortable and at peace on his lap.

"You done?" You tore away from his hoodie to look at him. He nods as his eyes turn into crescent moons as he smiles at you. "Stop that, you are so cute," you couldn't resist the way he looks whenever he smiles. You cupped his cheeks in your hands, touching your nose against his.

He soon took his hand and cupped you cheeks as well, feeling his warm, gentle hold on your skin. You would want to enjoying being in between his hands but you couldn't resist the urge to admire his hands. The veins that etched across his skin, the way the rings would compliment his fingers and giving the shape that pop.

"Why are your hands so hot and beautiful," you said, making jeno blush at your sudden remark. "So suddenly?" He chuckles making your lips form into a pout. "I'm serious!" He laughs harder before taking his hand and holding your chin in between his pointer and thumb, making you look up to him as he gives you a kiss on the lips.

❏ ⨾ HAECHAN

The dorms were quiet as it was already late at night. The other members were either in bed or still out at the company. You were left alone with haechan. He was laying on the couch with a pissed off expression. You guessed he had another rough day at practice. You came over to him, holding two cups of hot beverages, placing them on the coffee table infront of the couch.

"What's wrong, love?" You placed yourself in between his legs, on top of the blanket that draped over him. Your head lay on his stomach, with your arms under your chin. "Did something happen in practice?" He gave you more silence. Typical haechan, he is usually silent when he isn't in the mood so you decided to leave him alone for a bit to cool off, not wanting to piss off the boy any further.

But as you stood from your place on the couch, haechan grabs your wrist, pulling you so you hit your back against his chest. "Stay. . . Please," you smiled. Situating yourself in between his legs to get more comfortable. His arms around your body and his hands grip your wrist to keep you close. You stay in his hold when your eye catches his hands.

Have his hands ever been this pretty? Well, you knew his hand pretty hands but today he is hitting a little bit too different. You take one of his hands into yours, admiring his honey-tanned skin, beautiful fingers and pretty nails. The veins weren't too prominent and the bones were just enough to give his hands detail. It was the prettiest pair you have ever seen.

"You like my hands that much, bubs?" He whispers against your ear. You can sense the smirk that is playing across his lips. "Shut up before I turned around and smack that smirk off your lips." "How about you just kiss it off?" "Hyuck!"

❏ ⨾ JAEMIN

"Y/n~" he pulled the covers off beside you to slip himself in. "I made breakfast," he whispers against your neck, sniffing your scent. you stir awake feeling your boyfriend's warmth around you. "5 more minutes," you stretched your arms in front of you, pushing yourself even more so your back hits his chest. "But the food will get cold," he nuzzled his face further into your neck, interlocking his fingers into yours.

His cold hands enveloping in your warm ones, rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand. "Your hands are cold," you say, turning on your side to face him with his arms still wrapped around you. "It's really cold right now," he shivered dramatically making you roll your eyes. Taking both his hands from behind you into your hands, blowing hot air on them as you rubbed them together.

"Are your hands usually this cold?" You asked but received no answer. You looked up to see jaemin's eyes locked on your face, admiring your features. When you caught him staring, your face started to flair up in heat as your heart started to beat faster than before. "Have you always been this pretty?" He says with a smirk on his face.

"S-shut up, you can't just say stuff like that so randomly." You sat up, throwing a pillow at his face before getting off from the bed to wash off the embarrasment on your face.

❏ ⨾ CHENLE

"Daegal~ You are so cute," you nuzzled you nose into her fur, giving her kisses. "I'm starting to think you love her more than me." Chenle arrives to sit on the couch, placing two beverages on the coffee table. "Yeah and it's cause she doesn't annoy me all the time." You heard him scoff before sipping his beverage. The room goes silent as the cogs in chenle's brain turn. A smirk soon plays on his lips when the idea pops up You put daegal down on the floor and he sees this as an opportunity to for go with his idea.

He stands up, slightly stomping his feet as a sign of annoyance, exiting the room leaving you confused. "Chenle~" you followed him from behind as he makes his way to the kitchen. "Why'd you leave so suddenly?" He ignored you as he grabbed a bowl and a bag of snacks. "There's no way you are jealous of daegal?" He grabs an apple from the fridge and washes it over the sink while you tailed behind him all over the kitchen. "Are you?" You look over from behind, getting a peak of his pissed off expression.

"Lele," you pout, seeing he was visibly irritated that you chose his dog over him made you feel guilty. Chenle almost broke out of character as he hears that nickname roll off your tongue so natural. He starts chopping the apple on the cutting board. You stood behind him, hands behind your back feeling frustrated at his silent treatment. "Lele, I'm sorry," you say as you wrap your arms around his waist making his stop cutting the fruit.

"You invited me over to your house but still gave daegal more attention, I promise to always pay attention to you and you only." Chenle snorted at your statement making you pull back in shock. He turned around, amused at your reaction when he gave you the silent treatment. "I did not expect you to react like that," he cackles making you cross your arms and scoff. "You are so mean, this is why I love daegal more than you," "But seriously, I'm fine if you give daegal lots of attention y/n," he pulls your waist to bring you closer to his chest.

He brings his hands to your cheeks, squishing them together "Hey!" You pull away as chenle laughs again. He then interlocks his fingers with yours, giving it a firm squeeze. You observed his hands, noticing details you've never seen before. "Wow your hands are really pretty," chenle raises his eyebrows as he looks at his hands to see what you were talking about. "Is this the first time you've seen them? Wow y/n, after months of dating, I guess you don't have interest in me at all." "Shut up."

❏ ⨾ JISUNG

It was your day off and you decided to visit your boyfriend and the dreamies during their practice. With food in your hands for the 7 boys, you arrive right when they were just about to end a round of dance practice. You opened the door quietly, attempting to sneak your way in but forgetting about the mirror placement in the room. Haechan spots you and is already planning on teasing their maknae.

"Jisung-ah, your girlfriend is here~" he sing songs, making you come over to him and smack the back of his head." Being close with the dreamies even way before you started dating jisung made you immune to their endless teasing. "I brought food." "Like i said, I love you y/n~" you rolled your eyes playfully as haechan runs off with one of the bags of take out with him.

"Hey, have you been working hard?" Jisung nods. It has been 2 months since you started dating him but jisung still felt a bit shy around you. "Eat lots, it seems like you are gonna be busy today." "Yeah, we have our comeback soon. Thanks for the food, y/n," you smile, giving him a kiss on the cheeks making his cheeks go red. You giggled at his reaction and watched him eat his food. When he picked up his drink you noticed how his hands got a bit bigger than before.

"Wait hold on," you grabbed on of his free hand, stretching his fingers and measuring your hand against it. His fingers going way passed yours making your eyes grow wide. Puberty really hit this kid really hard. "When did your hands become so big?" You turned your hands, keeping it stuck together, observing it from different angles. "Is it a bad thing?" "No no, your hands are actually really pretty."

A small smile grew on his face at hearing the praise. You spent a good few minutes gawking before interlocking your fingers with his, making the boy flustered. Though your image on the outside showed you weren't at all fazed, butterflies were filling your stomach as you mentally curse yourself for the sudden action.

[readerinsertfanfiction]

Neeeeeeeemoooooo! MORE SPAM heheheheeh🤣🤣🤣😆😆😆🌌🔥 low key! Your rules didn't say anything about more than one request! And u know.... i am a selfish selfish person🥺🥺🥺🔥🔥❤❤❤ shamelessly so! Lolol

So here i am once more! Asking with all the prettiest of pleases for a lil something with theo🥺❤😳🔥 hehehe cause how could i resist? One thing would never fail to cheer me up on even my shittest days! And that would be someone pitching up at my door with ice cream🤣🤣🤣🤣i am but a simple woman🤣❤ also u know whats also a mood changer? Just sitting on the sofa sipping wine and venting about the world 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I think i got distracted mid way through this request😅😅🤣❤😆 also feel free to reject or ignore! I know sending in a second is massively pushing me luck! And taking spots away from others! 🤣😅🥺🥺🥺🥺😳😳 i just missed spamming ya so damn much hehehehe 😳😳😳🧁🍩🍬🔥

Love ya lots neeeeemooo! Sweet dreams for real! 😳😳🥺🌈🌷🔥lets have the best friday!🧁🌻🥳

Zetaaaaa!!! Man, it has been so long since I wrote anything fandom, I feel. 😆😆😆 It definitely feels like it has been even longer since you spammed my inbox! Zeta-darling is allowed to be selfish in my inbox, as long as she promises me to be selfish in RL as well about her time. ❤❤❤

Fandom: Ikemen Vampire

Character: Theodorus van Gogh

Word Count: -1K

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and food, lots of academia and a bit of student bashing.

Masterlist

The day had seemed so endless. The early start where your coffee just didn’t taste right, and then the glaring artificial light of the office greeting you from that weird angle, as if whoever was in charge of the interior hadn’t considered your height specifically. You had always thought that coming in early meant less rushing, meant that you could take your time, and in a way you could. The news tabloids hadn’t updated yet, the world didn’t seem to be quite awake either, and you could enjoy the world all on your own, the fresh air. Little did you know that the time of solitude would pass by the quickest, and suddenly you were in full gears before you were even ready, students dripping in one by one slowly as they took their stand and the absence of talent to prevent a food poisoning from happening.

“What do you mean you have no recipe?” your question had sounded so sharply, and maybe the edge was a bit too much as well as your colleague flinched at your tone as well. Somewhere you could hear the students mumble to each other as well, eyes shifting over you in equal amounts of intimidation but also apprehension, because they definitely didn’t enjoy you right now, which was mutual.

For some reason everything seemed to irk you, the students that didn’t understand a simple assignment seemingly having doubled, or like a pandemic spread itself in the class to infect everyone. The bottle of wine that someone had left open in the kitchen, beckoning you in to take a sip even if you knew that the oxygen had already turned it into vinegar, thus spoiling what was once a perfectly good red.

By the time you could finally close up, when the students had finally managed to clean everything they were supposed to do, but weren’t willing to do and after which no amount of whipping your words around helped them to speed up, the sun had already set and you knew it was going to be another late night.

“Cake?” you asked yourself, wondering if you could allow yourself a sweet dinner for once. However, it had been sweet the night before as well and you knew that the day after would be filled with sweets as well with it being cake-day traditionally. A day you were looking forward to as the students seemed to put more effort in that at least, unlike today.

“Ice cream?” a voice sounded, just as you were reaching for your door, still deliberating what you wanted to eat of which ice cream definitely had been an option before, but then dismissed as it didn’t make for a full dinner.

Dirty blonde hair and stark blue eyes, the handsome visage of the art history professor slash your neighbour, Theodorus van Gogh, heart throb of the fine arts department and your lucky catch stood next to your door, a smirk on his face that knew of his own charm, but also your schedule through and through.

“Maybe dinner first?” He offers, knowing by a glance that you had missed out on any decent food for the whole day and risked food poisoning instead, “Vincent cooked, not to worry,” Theo informs you, knowing that he is no hero in the kitchen, but fearing your judgement more than anything. Besides, Vincent could never go wrong in the kitchen it seemed, though Theo suspected it was the sugar that played part in that.

The offer comes in like a welcoming warm hug, a smile crossing your lips as you nod, too tired to speak, too hungry to really care who has cooked, as long as it wasn’t about to make you sick. With a push of your door you let yourself in, inviting Theo along with you as the two of you chatter on about your students and the classes you run and the eternal battle of homework and basic assignments.

“I know I wasn’t diligent with my schoolwork, but damn, how hard can it be to just write down a pair of ingredients?” you were complaining loudly, dinner already sitting in your stomach as Theo had opened your fridge, comfortable as he was at your place, to pop out a familiar tin of ice cream you had been hiding for yourself.

“Tell me about it,” the man says, already taking out two spoons before you have to yell it at him as he returns to the couch, a bottle of red popped under his arm while he holds two wine glasses between the fingers of his other hand, “I had to listen to some kid ranting about the differences between the renaissance and baroque. Appreciated any other day, but not when we are discussing modern arts!”

You laugh at the story, your hands clasping together as you heave a breath, “oh, c l a s s i c!” you squeal, already eagerly reaching for that bucket of ice cream and that glass of wine in hands, “totally didn’t prepare and was hoping to derail,” you called it, a finger gun into Theo’s direction who shoots you a look back;

“Not today, buddy,” the two of you in choir, before cheering your first of many glasses of wine of the evening, where you exchange the silliest stories you have to share after the long day that was today.

[tommiruewrites]

Hi could i have a headcanon of the marauders including snape and malfoy being emotional and you comfort them.

Comfort Headcanons ✩ requested? - yes ✩ prompt(s) - none ✩ summary - just some short angst + fluff headcanons with you comforting the marauders era students ✩ tw/cw - slight mentions of past trauma (not detailed) ✩ a/n - my first ever request so i hope this is what you had in mind! ngl im not the biggest snape fan so I hope i didn't totally butcher it lmao. tried my best <3

you can also read this on ao3 ₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚

JAMES POTTER: ♡ You'd be walking on the grounds during a free period and hear shuffling and sniffling from behind a tree ♡ When you go to see where the noise is coming from you don't see anything at first, but you still hear the muffled noises coming from in front of your feet ♡ Bending down to sit on your knees, you look towards the sound coming from the seemingly empty space ♡ It's obvious he's trying to make as little noise as possible. ♡ "James?" ♡ After a few moments of silence, the boy slowly pulls off the invisibility cloak to reveal his hunched form leaning against the tree, eyes puffy and tired and face stained with tears ♡ "Do you wanna talk about it?" ♡ That question, while appreciated, would make him start getting upset again ♡ He would probably pull you into a hug until he calmed down and then rant and ramble off about what was bothering him ♡ It's unusual for James to get upset, let alone upset to the point of tears, since he's a generally happy and optimistic person ♡ He's usually the friend to make sure everyone else is happy and smiling, so he tends to put his own feelings on the backburner ♡ That makes it all that much stronger when he gets too overwhelmed and can't keep it in anymore ♡ He also tends to invalidate his own feelings and experiences because "they could be worse", so if he's crying and getting emotional it's probably been building up for a while ♡ You also probably wouldn't have noticed any change or signs leading up to it considering James honestly didn't either ♡ In future he would always come to you before getting to that point, if possible, which you wouldn't mind especially since he was always    there for you when you needed it

SIRIUS BLACK: ♡ You'd notice that he's been acting strange and distant all day ♡ He's usually an extremely chipper and energetic person, so it's not too hard to spot the mood change when his smile doesn't reach his eyes and there's a lack of bounce in his step ♡ He'd try to cover it up with jokes and sarcasm, but it wasn't hard to see through for anyone that knew him ♡ You'd notice he was missing from the great hall at dinner because "he didn't feel well", and go off to find him ♡ After a while of searching you'd end up finding him sitting on the quidditch pitch alone and probably smoking  ♡ You would walk up cautiously, making your presence known but staying quiet and slow as to avoid disturbing him ♡ He wouldn't move or even acknowledge your presence until you were sat next to him, offering you a smoke ♡ "What's wrong, Pads? You've been down all day." ♡ He would try to hold it together and keep his cool, denying anything was the matter, but his uneven and wavering breath would give him away ♡ "You can talk to me you know, Sirius." ♡ That would do it ♡ He never was the one to like physical touch because of his upbringing and family environment, but over time he's grown to love it  ♡ It's what makes him feel the most loved and seen, since he never was able to experience it growing up ♡ He honestly did a full flip and is now probably the most physically clingy one out of all of them ♡ Still, he had a hard time opening up and being the one to initiate it, so you would pull him into a hug ♡ He would hold you so tight and cry into your shoulder ♡ You'd try to calm him down by whispering reassurances and gently running your fingers through his hair ♡ "It's okay to cry sometimes, Pads." ♡ "It doesn't make you weak." ♡ "Do you want to tell me what happened?" ♡ He would probably have been upset over a particularly aggressive letter from his parents ♡ He wouldn't talk too much about it, not wanting to get emotional all over again, and would instead just spend the time sitting and talking with you and allowing himself to let it go for a while ♡ You'd make jokes with him, making it your mission to get him to laugh ♡ After that night Sirius would be especially close with you, finding that your closeness always seemed to bring him comfort

REMUS LUPIN: ♡ common room "studying" after hours ♡ Remus usually seemed pretty unbothered by most things, not really letting small things get to him ♡ However, there was always an exception for the day before and after a full moon when his behavior would change  ♡ The day before the full moon he would be very loving and clingy, and much more soft than usual with everyone ♡ Then the day after the full moon he would be the exact opposite, still experiencing the fading effects of the full moon.  ♡ After the full moon was when his emotions really started to beat him up ♡ He would always feel extremely guilty for all the trouble he caused ♡ He'd also feel extremely insecure, more than usual, and self-loathing ♡ He hates his lycanthropy and always blamed himself for any minor inconvenience or problem that happened around the full moon ♡ Remus, however, is extremely good at controlling and concealing his emotions, so it's much harder to catch him spiraling  ♡ One late night after tossing and turning without being able to sleep, you'd finally decide to go into the common room. ♡ The further you descended down the stairs, the more you could make out the sound of faint sobs ♡ You slowly entered the common room, seeing a crying Remus, who had stayed back to "study", sitting on the couch curled into himself and hugging his knees up to his chest. ♡ You'd softly make yourself aware to avoid startling him too much ♡ "Oh, Remus..." ♡ He would immediately jump to straighten himself up, wiping his face clean and plastering on a fake smile ♡ "What are you doing up at this hour? I thought everyone had gone to bed." ♡ "Couldn't sleep." ♡ You'd go to sit facing him on the couch beside him, and he'd back away slightly ♡ After the full moon he was always afraid he would hurt someone, so he tended to distance himself ♡ "The full moon's over, Remus. You won't hurt me, I promise." ♡ "Don't be so hard on yourself." ♡ "It isn't your fault." ♡ You didn't need him to tell you for you to know what was running through his head ♡ "You don't have to talk if you don't want to, but I'm here to listen if you need me." ♡ He'd start to slowly let his guard down a bit more, causing him to start crying slightly again ♡ He didn't talk, he just cried on your shoulder and allowed you to be close to him, and it was enough

PETER PETTIGREW: ♡ He could honestly be emotional about many things since he's a very sensitive person and feels very deeply ♡ He also gets easily overwhelmed and anxious which can cause him to break down ♡ You would go up to the dorms to grab something you'd forgotten to hear crying coming from his room ♡ You'd slowly open his door to find him curled up in a corner of his dorm crying  ♡ "Oh, Peter, what's the matter?" ♡ You'd go and sit with him and hold his hand to try to ground him ♡ "Just breathe" ♡ You'd make jokes with him, knowing it was the best way to get him to calm down and come to his senses  ♡ After he finally calms down, he'd mumble out apologize for being a burden ♡ "You never have to apologize for having feelings, Peter." ♡ "You are not a burden. I care about you." ♡ Honestly just hearing that you care about him would make his heart melt ♡ You'd offer for the two of you to go down for lunch, which he of course would happily agree to ♡ He would sit by you in the great all, still holding your hand and squeezing it lightly whenever he started feeling overwhelmed  ♡ After that it was like a secret code; Whenever you would notice him starting to become anxious you would hold his hand and lightly squeeze it three times. ♡ He's forever grateful to have someone in his life who didn't think he was a burden.

REGULUS BLACK: ♡ After-hours you decided to sneak up to the Astronomy tower to get some fresh air and clear you head ♡ Little did you know that it was Regulus' regular spot ♡ As you approach the top of the stairs, you see Regulus standing hunched over the railing ♡ You'd slowly walk over to him, trying not to startle him ♡ "Didn't know anyone would be up here" ♡ He would immediately jump up and turn away to compose himself, stuffing an open letter into his pocket ♡ "I always come up here." ♡ When he turns back around you can see his slightly red and puffy eyes that he would try to hide ♡ "Reggie, are you alright?" ♡ "Has something happened?" ♡ He would try to avoid questions by saying this along the lines of "nothing I can't manage" which is obviously a big fat lie ♡ It takes a lot for him to trust people ♡ He also hates emotions since he grew up in an environment where they got him punished ♡ "I don't want to pressure you, but I want you to know that you can tell me anything." ♡ "My lips are sealed" you'd say with a stupid motion of locking your lips shut and throwing out the key to try to lighten the mood ♡ Which kind of worked since it brought out a small laugh ♡ The two of you would end up talking and laying down next to each other, looking at the stars ♡ He'd finally (after much mental contemplation) decide to talk ♡ "It was a letter. My parents." ♡ You sit up to face him and give him your full attention ♡ The two of you would talk for hours, him feeling comfortable enough with you to open up about his home

SEVERUS SNAPE: ♡ You'd accidentally stumble upon him curled up in a corner or nook somewhere in the dungeons or an empty hallway ♡ He would most likely be crying after being picked on by the marauders and co. or after seeing lily and james together ♡ "Sev?"  ♡ I feel like you would have to be very close with him for him to even consider letting you see him emotional and not lash out at you to leave him alone ♡ He definitely is not one for physical touch so you would keep a comfortable amount of space between the two of you ♡ Even still he'd immediately brush away any sign of tears, masking his vulnerability with anger  ♡ Severus puts on a front of confidence but he's extremely insecure  ♡ He'd make consistent remarks about how he deserves the poor treatment he receives and worse or how he's too ugly or not confident enough to deserve lily ♡ "Don't talk about yourself like that." ♡ "Nobody deserves to be treated that way." ♡ "You deserve love too, you know." ♡ He wouldn't believe you at first, and knowing him you already knew that ♡ "I care about you y'know. I'm not just saying these things for my own sake." ♡ He'd brush it off and never bring it up again after that day ♡ He would never admit it, but your words really meant a lot to him, and he would always consider you a friend

LUCIUS MALFOY: ♡ Lucius very rarely showed any emotion ♡ He thought that they made him too vulnerable ♡ So him getting emotional was extremely out of character for him ♡ His version of getting emotional is definitely more anger than sadness ♡ He'd go and find you immediately after whatever made him upset happened ♡ Once he finds you sitting in your dorm reading a book, he'd start ranting and rambling about it ♡ pacing back and forth, hands angrily combing his hair out of his face, literally just extreme dramatics  ♡ and you'd hang on to every word, nodding along and responding when necessary ♡ after he finally finished his rant and calmed down, he would be absolutely exhausted ♡ because being that emotional takes a lot out of you yk ♡ head lay down on your lap, letting you play with his hair and basically just reflect on everything he talked about ♡ he would be in awe that you remembered everything he talked about ♡ you would cover all the bases and basically just confirm that hid feelings are valid ♡ he would absolutely adore you for putting up with his dramatics

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I hope I didn't disappoint! Let me know if you want me to do a version with the girls :))