#also i did edit the post to redact the name the gust commentor used

[hypermoyashi]

[Image Description: A guest ao3 user with a redacted name over a comment reading, "Nobody is going to lose their shit over someone being a demisexual. Lmao nobody gives a shit about it. Some people really wanna be oppressed huh"

A reply from the fic writer below reads, "You know, I’d be less disappointed in you and this comment if I didn’t have a giant beginning author’s note explaining that this whole fic was based on my real-life experiences as a non-binary demi person. So I hate to break it to you, but I have had people freak out on me when I tried to come out as demi to them.

There’s a term my girlfriend used—the “oppression olympics.” It’s where some queer people make oppression and who faces the worst of it some sort of competition, and ace people have been perpetually excluded from and minimized from the community because we’re “not oppressed enough.” This is something I had to unlearn when I was going through my journey, because I always saw myself as a less legitimate member of it growing up because my friends suffered more. I had friends whose mothers would cry at the sight of them in a skirt. I had friends who were made to sleep on their porches. And me? Well, I looked straight. I looked cis. I didn’t date. I didn’t know who I was. So if someone who’s faced more hardship because of their identity tells me that my identity is harmful to them, was I going to believe them? As a young, questioning queer person, I did. This was ten years ago. The community from back then isn’t the same community it is today.

The thing of it is, is that your identity shouldn’t be defined by how oppressed you are. Being oppressed doesn’t somehow make you more or less legitimate. Being queer isn’t about that. We’re more than our oppression.

Sharing this wasn’t about going “oh I’m so oppressed, give me attention.” It was just about sharing my experiences online through my writing. There are ace people who have experienced far worse than me, and while my heart goes out to them, it doesn’t make my experience any less valid. We all go through different journeys, and we experience different things. Being able to share these journeys with one another is a part of what makes creating so rewarding.

So yes, Mx. Redacted Username, I am disappointed in you. I think it’s sad that, as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community judging on your username, you would come on here to actively discourage ace people from sharing their experiences. I wonder if you would do the same to a trans, non-binary, lesbian, or gay person talking about experiences related to those identities. I’m afraid you might be doing an acephobia here, Mx. Redacted Username, by actively discouraging ace people from sharing their experiences.

So I hope you take a moment to sit down and re-examine your internal bias and why you would bother to come online and tell ace people to shut up. But at the end of that day? We’re all members of the LGBTQIA+ community. I think we should make efforts to make it a more welcoming and inclusive community, and when people share their experiences? Well, I think we should listen and not dismiss people."]

So. My point in sharing this on Tumblr is that it's important to recognize that acephobic attitudes are still alive and well, even in fandom communities, and it's important to stop and examine your internal bias every now and then.

And most importantly? If you're about to leave a comment on a fic where a writer has shared their own personal experience, and you're going to tell them in any way, shape, or form that they should shut up? Maybe don't leave that comment and take a step back.