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latetaektalk · 6 years ago

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break up with me | osh [2]

he and you had been playing pretend for months now, but you couldn’t do it anymore.

genre: break up! au, established relationship! au, angst

word count: 5.546

a/n: so, this is the last part of break up with me!! i hope you all enjoy it and i don’t know if anyone wants one or if people even think it’s necessary, but i could write an epilogue? i already have somewhat of an idea, but if no one wants it and if nobody think it’s necessary, i won’t post one. so, basically let me know what you think of this chapter and if you want an epilogue?~

masterlist

You opened the closet Sehun and you were sharing and downed the wine as you looked at your clothes. It was obvious what belonged to Sehun and what belonged to you and you were numb to the aching in your chest. The sight hurt so much because for the longest time there was no line between Sehun’s and your clothes. You both had used to share everything. Well, Sehun had used to share everything with you, but only because he didn’t want any of your clothes.

So, it felt like somebody was pushing a knife into your heart when you saw such a clear line between Sehun’s and your clothes. You closed your eyes and listened to the piano playing before James Blunt took over.

Did I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown? Cause I saw the end before we’d begun Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won

“Goodbye My Lover” by James Blunt. Sure, one might say that you were dramatic and rubbing salt into the wound, into your broken heart, but you needed to feel the pain and sadness. Instead of running away from it, you embraced the pain, held it tightly to your heart, cried with it. It felt good to acknowledge it because there was no denying in it, you were hurting, bad.

So I took what’s mine by eternal right Took your soul out into the night It may be over but it won’t stop there I am here for you if you’d only care

You looked at everything Sehun owned and you lingered a little longer on your favourite pieces. The grey hoodie that you loved so much hung there between all his button-downs and your pants. Without thinking about it, you reached for it and pulled it from its hanger. You put it on and you hated how safe you felt having it on, like Sehun’s arms were wrapped around you. The smell of his detergent swamped you. You ignored the fact that Sehun had bought his own detergent, had stopped using yours. The line between Sehun’s and your clothes wasn’t as obvious as it was before and that made you smile a little.

You touched my heart, you touched my soul You changed my life and all my goals And love is blind but that I knew when My heart was blinded by yours

You sighed because that didn’t change anything, didn’t change your plans today. You turned around and walked to your nightstand. Because you couldn’t afford to spill the last couple of drops of wine anywhere, you put down your wine glass. You made your way to the other side of the bed, Sehun’s side. With a sigh, you bent down and pulled the suitcase from underneath the bed. You dragged it in front of the closet and opened it.

I’ve kissed your lips and held your hand Shared your dreams and shared your bed I know you well, I know your smell I’ve been addicted to you

You didn’t move for a moment, instead, you stared at the suitcase and you couldn’t help but tear up. You wiped away the tears with your sleeve and when you smelt Sehun’s detergent, you teared up again. It was a vicious circle so you just let the tears spill because there was no use in wiping them away. At least not when new ones would form the second you did. It was ridiculous that you could still cry because you had cried so much today already.

Goodbye my lover Goodbye my friend You have been the one You have been the one for me

First in the café, then in Joohyun’s car as she drove you home and then another time when you realised that Sehun wasn’t home again even though it was his day off. Joohyun had wanted to come up and even offered you to stay at her place. You had insisted, however, that you needed to get something done first. She had checked with you a couple of times already and you had to practically beg her to leave you alone.

Goodbye my lover Goodbye my friend You have been the one You have been the one for me

With a heavy sigh, you pulled yourself together. Before you could do something, your phone vibrated and interrupted your music for a second. You walked over and unlocked it without looking. The chat between Chanyeol and you came into view and you looked at the new messages Chanyeol had sent you.

[Chanyeol - 17: 08]: sure your cousin can totally stay with me!

[Chanyeol - 17:08]: when is he gonna arrive tmr?

[You - 17:08]: Im actually not sure, ill ttext you if i know more.

You were about to turn off your phone when you saw that Chanyeol was online. The two ticks turned blue and Chanyeol started typing. You had time and didn’t mind waiting, but maybe you should have.

I am a dreamer and when I wake You can’t break my spirit - it’s my dreams you take And as you move on, remember me Remember us and all we used to be

[Chanyeol - 17:09]: okay. but how are you feeling? sehun said youre really busy with school and work

Your thumbs hovered above the screen and you wanted to type something back, but your mind was blank. You didn’t even notice how Chanyeol typed up a new message.

I’ve seen you cry, I’ve seen you smile I’ve watched you sleeping for a while I’d be the father of your child I’d spend a lifetime with you

[Chanyeol - 17:09]: you should take some time off today. were meeting up putside yerims dorm later and going out for some drinks

[You - 17:09]: I dont think im gonna come

[Chanyeol - 17:10]: everybodys gonna be there!! even jongdae is coming, you have to too!!!!

You raised your brows because Jongdae coming was impressive. He never came to these things. However, you didn’t spend too much thinking about Jongdae and how rare it was for him to meet up with everybody. Instead, thought about how Sehun hadn’t even bothered to tell you that he was going out with the boys.

I know your fears and you know mine We’ve had our doubts but now we’re fine And I love you, I swear that’s true I cannot live without you

[Chanyeol - 17:10]: you could go home with sehun eralier if you feel tired, but we all just wanna see you again ;(

You pressed your lips together and sighed. Did you want to go out? Yes, a thousand yes, but then everybody would notice how awkward it was between Sehun and you. There was no overplaying that awkwardness if you were completely honest. If you went, everybody would just worry and you didn’t need anybody to worry about Sehun and you. You also doubted that Sehun wanted you there.

[You - 17:11]: Sorry, gtg. have fun

Goodbye my lover Goodbye my friend You have been the one You have been the one for me

You turned off your phone and threw it onto your bed before you turned around and looked at Sehun’s and your closet. As you sighed, you walked up to it and took a moment to get ready because this was going to take some time.

Goodbye my lover Goodbye my friend You have been the one You have been the one for me

You could hear the rain hammering on your windows, could hear the occasional car speeding past your flat. The clear night sky had turned sour and bitter in a matter of seconds, but barely anyone knew because it was early in the morning. 04:12 to be exact.

You leaned back into your couch and took another swig of your wine. Your eyes were trained on the empty chair in front of you, separated from you by your coffee table.

You had to admit, you had hard time keeping yourself awake. You had wanted to take a nap beforehand, but you had been too scared that you were going to miss Sehun.

When you heard keys jiggle, you downed the rest of your wine and put the glass down. You almost dropped your phone when you unlocked it and opened the chat between Joohyun and you. She knew what your message meant and knew what she had to do now.

[You - 04:12]: Hes back.

Just when you were leaning back into the couch, the door opened and Sehun stepped in. You could hear a sigh escape him and you tightened up. He didn’t know you were in the living room because you hadn’t turned on the lights.

Your heart started beating into your chest like it wanted to jump out and it hurt, it hurt so much. For a second you thought about pretending to be asleep, but there was no turning back. You had to do this even though it was going to hurt you both so fucking much. You were sure of that fact, but you were also sure of the fact that there was no other way.

Sehun walked past the living room without looking into it. You could see him take off his jacket again as he made his way to your bedroom. He was soaked and you weren’t surprised. Sehun had never been one to take an umbrella with him. You guessed the rain had taken him and the others by surprise.

Instead of grabbing a towel from the bathroom, Sehun walked into your shared bathroom. You looked at the towel next to you for a moment and you couldn’t help it but smile.

Just like a few days ago a sigh escaped Sehun as the door to your bedroom fell shut, but unlike last time he didn’t stay long. Before you knew it, a frantic Sehun stepped out of your bedroom. His eyes were blown out and he ran his hand through his hair as he snapped his head around. Your heart warmed up a little at the fact that he was so panicked to see you not in bed. So, he did still care about you. But you also guessed that seeing the closet empty added to his panic.

“Y/N?”, Sehun called out for you and looked into the bathroom, unaware of the fact that you were watching his every move. You regretted that you had downed your wine because this whole show would be better with some wine. “Y/N?”

You put your hand in front of your mouth and the smell of Sehun’s detergent wasn’t as strong as it used to be. No wonder, considering you had been wearing this hoodie all day long.

Sehun turned on the lights to the living room and for a second he didn’t see you, but when he did, he left out a long breath. His eyes travelled up and down your form, brows furrowing when he saw that you had shoes, jeans and his hoodie on.

You folded your hands in front of your stomach and just looked at Sehun, at your boyfriend. He looked so pretty today, especially pretty in your opinion. It was confusing and you had no explanation for it, but he just did. His hair was dripping onto the floor and even though strands were poking out in funny places, he looked beautiful. His white shirt was sticking to his body and a few months ago you would have gone up to him and kissed him.

“Why are you dressed?”

“You’re pretty.”, you said and reached for the towel next to you, offering it to Sehun. He stared at you in complete confusion, but he took it when he realised that you weren’t going to give up. As he took it, his gaze wandered to his right and he stared at the chair that you had put there for him. Panic took hold of Sehun again as he looked back at you.

“What’s going on?”, Sehun asked you and seemed frozen. You tilted your head at him and smiled at him, happy to be talking to Sehun for once, happy to be speaking more than five words with Sehun. You hadn’t even realised just how much you had missed hearing his voice until now.

“Y/N, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”

You sighed and gestured for Sehun to take a seat. He did, hesitantly but he did it, sitting down right in front of you.

For a moment, you looked at the coffee table Sehun and you had picked out together. It was the first thing you had bought when you had moved in together and it was what had connected you. Now, it was only separating you two, worked as a barrier for him and you.

You guessed Sehun could feel that something was going to go down tonight, that someone was going to leave this flat after this was over. It was the way he was eyeing you, the way he was picking on his pants.

You should be the one talking, but you wanted to take a moment to appreciate this. You hadn’t looked Sehun in the eyes, hadn’t spent so much time with Sehun, hadn’t seen Sehun properly for a long time now and considering it was going to be the last time, you just had to appreciate it.

“You know you have to use the towel.”, you said and Sehun tilted his head at you, not understanding what the fuck you were talking about. You were procrastinating, buying time, but who could blame you? After everything you still loved Sehun. And, what you were about to do was going to almost kill you and definitely kill your relationship.

“What?”

“You know to dry your-”

“Cut that bullshit, Y/N. What’s happening here right now?”

Sehun’s words left you silent and he stared at you with such intensity that your smile disappeared in a second. Your gaze met Sehun’s and you pressed your lips into a line, sighing internally. You held onto yourself tighter and you hated the way your heart was hammering in your chest. It was so loud that you were certain that Sehun could heart it too.

You opened your mouth, but your tongue was tied. The knot in your throat didn’t help matters and you didn’t know why you had thought before that you would be able to do this. God, this was harder than you thought.

Sehun’s brows were furrowed together and his lips were pressed together. The towel you had given him was thrown over his shoulder and barely did anything to catch the water. Worry and confusion were written all across his face and he was quite literally sitting on the edge of his chair. You knew that it was torturing him to not know what was going on and you sighed, starting to take deep breaths as you tried to calm yourself down.

And when you felt ready, you let the words slip. The words you had repeated over and over again in your head as you prepared for this moment, for this conversation. You knew there was no turning back, no taking the words back and that was okay. It really was.

“Break up with me.”

You could see when your words slowly started to click in Sehun’s head, could see when his brain had finished processing your words, could see when the confusion settled. It was like time stood still, like someone had slowed this down for you to watch, like someone had gifted you with the ability of time for a second before taking it away from you to make the next moments worse.

“What?”

Sehun shook his head at you and he let out a laugh, a taunting laugh, one that made you cringe. You watched him lean back, watched him cross his arms, watched him open his mouth to say something, watched him laugh instead, watched him stare at you before he burst out into laughter again, watched him clap his hands together, watched him calm down, watched him jump up from his chair to walk around, watched him sit down again, watched him look at you again, watched him realise that you weren’t joking around.

“What?”

“Break up with me.”, you said again like you were telling him that you were going to the store. It hurt to say it, but you had started the conversation and you were going to finish it. Was your chest aching? Was your body twisting and wincing in agony? Was your heart shattering into pieces? Sure, yes, but you could still do it. You just knew you could.

Sehun didn’t laugh, didn’t shake his head at you, didn’t run around, not this time. He looked at you and straightened his back, gulping at your face. Nothing much happened after that, he just stared into your eyes and you just stared into his eyes. An eternity seemed to pass before you decided to say something again.

“I know that you don’t love me anymore.”, you started and Sehun tensed up at your words. You tucked a strand behind your ear and pushed your glasses back onto their place. “That’s okay. It really is. People fall out of love, happens.”

You let a beat pass, let your words sink in, let Sehun process your words before you continued again. You were aware that Sehun wasn’t done working through your words, but you also doubted that you could ever give him enough time.

“But you know what’s not okay?”, you asked and waited for a second to emphasize on your words. Sehun started to shake his head and that small shake made you smile for a second. He really didn’t know better, did he? “It’s not okay then to stay in a relationship with me. You know how much it hurts to know that the person you love so fucking much doesn’t love you back?”

Sehun rubbed the nape of his neck and avoided your gaze. You knew you had him, knew that he would let you talk and that might be for the best. There was strength in your words right now, but you weren’t sure if it would stay if Sehun started to say something.

“You should have broken up with me a long time ago, but I know you, Sehun. I know that you don’t have the balls to break up with me. I know that you continued to stay with me to force me to break up with you, to make it easier for you, but I’m not Mia. You’re going to break up with me and this is how you’re gonna do it.”, you started and Sehun looked up at you. You knew he didn’t understand what you were saying, but that was okay. You shuffled to the edge of your couch and took a deep breath.

“You’re gonna start by saying ‘I’m sorry, Y/N.’.”, you said and Sehun softly mumbled ‘No’s when he realised what you were doing right now. He shook his head in protest, but when you kept staring at him with determination and pain burning in your eyes, he gave in.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Then I’m gonna ask you ‘For what’?’.”, you swallowed and let a second pass. “For what?”

You rubbed your hands on your pants as you struggled to say the next few words. You guessed that it was always going to be hard to say this.

“‘I don’t love you anymore.’.”

Sehun hesitated as well, looking into your eyes to see if this was really what you wanted. There was no question in your mind and you could see the tears form in Sehun’s eyes. He wiped them away the second they appeared, but you had already seen them.

“I don’t-”, Sehun’s voice cracked and he shook his head like it was torturing him to say the next words. You waited, didn’t push him because you understood why he was struggling this much.

“I don’t love you anymore.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks and you let them fall, let them because there was no use in wiping them away. You were honestly surprised that you were hurting so bad because you had known that for a long time now. But you guessed that hearing it coming from Sehun for the first time was different. You hiccuped and you let out a chuckle, unable to form the next words.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”, Sehun cried softly and you looked at him, pressing your lips into a tight smile. You nodded and new tears fell, leaving hot trails down your face. “So fucking sorry.”

“I know.”, you mumbled. “But that’s not what you’re supposed to say.”

Your small joke lightened the mood for a second, gave you the strength to push through all of this. Sehun cracked a smile and rolled his eyes at you before he had to wipe away tears again.

“Now you’re going to put your hands on our table and then I’m gonna put my hands on our table.”, you whispered and Sehun nodded at you, giving you an ‘Of course, ma’am.’ before doing what you just had told him. When you moved to put your hands on your coffee table, Sehun grabbed a hold of them and hugged them with his own.

“Hey, I didn’t tell you to do that.”

“I knew you wanted though.”

“Stop acting like some breakup master.”, you sniffed and couldn’t help but laugh. Fuck, this is what you missed, playing off of each other. “You’re learning too quickly.”

“You’re just a great teacher.”, Sehun said and smiled at you. Instead of wiping his tears away, he let them fall. There you two were, sitting in front of each other, crying your eyes out as the sun rose behind you. “You’ve always brought out the best in me.”

You tilted your head to the side before you let it hang because those words hit hard. Your chest tightened and Sehun noticed that he had gone a little too far. He put his hand on your head and pulled you closer. He pressed a long and lonely kiss on your forehead and even though tears were still streaming down your face, you smiled.

“Okay, now I’m gonna say ‘Why? Did I do something wrong?’-”

“No, God, no. Y/N, it’s not your fault.”, Sehun started and shook his head at you, your faces still centimetres away from each other. You could feel his breath on your skin and he could feel your breath on his skin. Your smile grew a little at Sehun’s insistence that it wasn’t your fault. “You did everything right, you’re like the best girlfriend-”

“And yet you don’t love me anymore.”

The words slipped out of you without you thinking about it and Sehun and you stared at each other with wide eyes. He scrunched up his face in pain and agony and silent tears rolled down his face. You started to shake your head at him and you wanted to clarify, say something, but instead, a hiccup bubbled up from your throat and spilt out.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”, you said and your eyes fell down to the floor, your whole face feeling like it had been lit on fire. Now it was Sehun shaking his head at you. His hands tightened around yours and he started drawing circles on your skin. He caught your attention again and when you looked at him, he had a tight-lipped smile painted on.

“Don’t apologise, you’re right.”, Sehun admitted and you couldn’t help yourself, but break down a little more. Your sobs filled the air between you two and you could feel Sehun’s hands shake.

“I haven’t treated you right the past months and I’m so sorry for that.”, Sehun’s voice cracked as he said the words and you could literally hear his tears in them. It was weird and impossible, but you just could. “I’ve been so selfish and I’m really so fucking sorry for that.”

You took off your glasses and threw them onto your coffee table, placing your sleeve on your eyes. It was stupid, but you wanted to hide, hide from Sehun’s gaze, hide your face. He had seen you cry so many times now, but you still felt this shame, this need to cover up.

Your crying just got worse with the second and you regretted that you had put on Sehun’s hoodie on because all you smelt was him. You were quite literally drunk on his scent and your heart broke more, your chest ached more, your tears fell quicker because you knew after this, you would never be close enough to him again to smell him.

“You deserve better than me.”, Sehun whispered and you felt like you couldn’t breathe anymore. Your lungs were tied in one painful knot and you wanted to cough it out, but all that spilt from you were sobs and sniffs. You felt a hand wrap around your wrist and pull your hand away from your face. When your eyes automatically landed on your coffee table, Sehun tilted your chin up and cupped your face. “Don’t hide, please.”

You bit on your lip to stop your sobs from breaking out and tilted your head into Sehun’s hand instead. He used his thumb to wipe any of your tears away and a small laugh bubbled up from you. Sehun joined you and you couldn’t help but think that Sehun looked angelic in the morning sun glow.

“So, what’s the next step? What should I say next?”, Sehun asked you as he dropped his hand and cupped yours instead again. You quirked a brow at him and a smile fought its way to your lips as you put on your glasses again.

“I think you’ve got it down.”, you mumbled. “You’re better at breaking up than you think.”

Sehun shook his head at you and you eyed him carefully. What he had just said was perfect, perfect at giving you the push to start moving on, perfect at breaking your heart. It was what you needed, it pained you, but you needed to hear that. It tore a wound into you but healed you in other ways at the same time.

“I don’t think so. You’re crying too much.”, Sehun whispered and you let out a chuckle. You nodded and had to admit that maybe you were crying too much. With your sleeve, you wiped away the tears and you took deep breaths in and out to collect yourself again. After you were sure that there were no traces of tears left, you put your hands back into Sehun’s.

“Okay, now I’m gonna tell you that I’m gonna stay at Joohyun’s and you’re going to say ‘No, I should go. You stay.’.”, you said and you had to try your best to stop your voice from shaking too much. “I’m gonna stay at Joohyun’s.”

“No, I should go. You stay.”, Sehun repeated your words perfectly like it was actually him saying these words and not you telling him to. His grip around your hands tightened and he squeezed yours a little to emphasis his words.

“But then I’ll say ‘No, you stay.’ and you’re going to look at me and give up. ‘Okay. I stay here.’.”, you said. “No, you stay.”

Sehun stared into your eyes for a few seconds and somehow the air around you two started to change. You couldn’t explain it and it seemed like you two grew more comfortable with each other as the sun rose behind you. And you knew that Sehun could feel it too. Maybe it was because you two started to accept that this was happening and that it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would. Maybe it was because you two saw that there was going to be a tomorrow even without the other by your side.

“Okay.”, Sehun started and his voice was quiet, low. It was like he was scared to interrupt whatever was hanging between you in the air. “I stay here.”

“Good, now I’m gonna say to you that ‘I have already packed everything and Joohyun is waiting outside for me. There are only a couple of things left, but I’m gonna get them tomorrow.’ Then you’re going to look around and see my suitcase and bags in the corner behind you.”

“I have already packed everything and Joohyun is waiting outside for me. There are only a couple of things left, but I’m gonna get them tomorrow.”

Sehun nodded and when he turned his head, he immediately spotted your suitcase and bags. When he looked at you again, a tear rolled down his cheek. You reached up and wiped it away before he could. You hated the way his whole body was shaking, hated how much pain and agony was hidden in his eyes. It hurt so much and you wished that the next time you saw Sehun that both of you would smile at each other instead.

“I’m gonna go after this and when I walk out of here, you’re going to put away the wine and the glass. After that, you’re going to our bedroom and look into our closet that is now empty. But before that you’re going to put on your hoodie and sleep in it because now it smells after me and you need my smell to sleep.”, you said and removed Sehun’s hoodie to reveal one of your T-Shirts underneath.

Sehun took his hoodie back and immediately put it on, throwing the towel behind him and inhaling deeply as he pulled his hoodie over his head. You had to cringe because he was putting on his hoodie over his wet shirt, but you didn’t say anything. Instead, you let out a small chuckle and put your hands back onto your coffee table for Sehun to grab a hold of which he did immediately.

“Tomorrow you’re going to take your time to pack all of my things into a box that I’ve put next to our bed. Then you’re going to put the box on our bed for me to grab. When you pack my things you’re going to look at every single one of them and remember all of the things that we’ve done in the past 2 years.”, you said and Sehun nodded as you talked.

Whenever a tear rolled down his or your face, the other wiped it away for the other and it warmed your heart in a way that would have made you giggle like a schoolgirl if the circumstances were different.

“And when I come to get the box, you’re not going to be home. Instead, you’re going to be at Chanyeol’s. I’ve checked with him. He’s fine with you staying at his place, but he actually thinks that you’re my cousin-”, you were about to get into Chanyeol’s and your conversation, but the way Sehun was looking at you told you that he will figure it out.

“Anyway, I’ve packed everything you need to stay at Chanyeol’s. Your suitcase is next to your nightstand.”, you said and exhaled. You thought of what else you wanted to say and when you realised that there was nothing left, you closed your mouth.

“And-”, you started for some reason and, of course, no words followed after your ‘And’. You just looked into Sehun’s eyes and he started to see what you were trying to tell him because he straightened his back a little and his mouth formed a small ‘o’.

“And-”, Sehun repeated for you and you really wanted to say something else because, fuck, it was dawning on you. This was it and now that you had reached the end, it didn’t seem that fine anymore. You weren’t accepting it anymore. Tears spilt from you and Sehun was immediately there to wipe them away, cupping your face in his hands.

“And then-”

Sehun interrupted you by pressing his forehead against yours and shaking his head. Your coffee table between Sehun and you would be ruining the moment in any other circumstances, but now it didn’t bother either of you much. You looked at him and now it was him telling you what to do, well, not to do. He didn’t have to say a single word, you knew what he meant. Your hands travelled to his and you grabbed onto them as your eyes fluttered shut.

You took a deep breath and while a part of you was cursing and screaming, the other part of you was coming to the acceptance that this was it. There was no more Sehun and you. It was fine, you told yourself.

It was going to be fine, you told yourself.

And when you opened your eyes again, when you were met with Sehun’s dark brown eyes, when you saw that small smile on his lips, you couldn’t help yourself but mirror it. While you two held onto each other like your lives depended on it, the sun behind you painted the once sour and bitter sky in a beautiful and hopeful orange.

A new day was starting.

masterlist

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shhhhyoursister · 5 years ago

Note

Hey what are you favourite davenzi scenes/moments and what are your favourite Matteo scenes/moments? Hope you’re well!

okay okay okay this has been in my inbox for a lil while and i feel like ive been building up to it but im going to watch some clips and gather some thoughts.....i asked @theyellowcurtains to give me a number limit for each and he said 3 so im gonna do 3 of each otherwise id just write a frame by frame analysis of all of season 3 (im so sorry for how long this post is i have so many thoughts all the time)

im gonna start with matteo moments and im gonna list the season/episode/clip just for clarity okay?? okay (im doing matteo moments that dont include david because i have to go off about that later on)

1. s3ep10cl2- okay okay so the morning after clip is perfect in every single way and i could go off about it for years but beyond all of the davenzi stuff there is the moment when matteo leaves davids room and hes wearing the gray sweater, when laura is dancing??? which is also iconic all on its own but im talking specifically about matteo here, so you know he sits down on that stool thing and hes smiling SO big and hes blushin really hard and then laura sees him and they LAUGH??? and then he claps for her???? if i had to pick id absolutely say that that whole sequence is my fave matteo moment and also kind of interesting and makes me think about the fact that matteo is definitely very shy and quiet but he also has that like,, brat confidence?? i could make an entire post about that but ANYWAY yeah that is the fucking best matteo moment hes so cute and nervous but also totally fine being obvious about the fact that him and david fucked which i think is hilarious but i digress and i MUST move on

2. s3ep8cl2- i do have to say that while im not a HUGE fan of the explanation the video he watched gave of like,, what being trans is, im really glad they included this clip?? like its so obvious that matteo wants to talk to david but doesnt really know what to say, and i love that his first instinct was to start looking stuff up?? like if i was into a cis guy and he told me that he didnt really know about trans stuff but he did RESEARCH?? like thats just really sweet and shows that he really fucking loves david already and just wants to be more informed about what hes,, not to say signing up for but i cant think of a better phrase but yall know what i mean ya know??? its just very very sweet of him!!!!!

3. s3ep8cl4- i think people know about my deep love for hans so of course this clip is going to be one of my favorites?? im going to narrow it down a bit though because the part of this clip that hit me the fucking hardest was when hans asks “what do you like about him?” because the way matteo reacts is just?? so sweet?? at first he looks a little unsure but then when hans repeats himself matteo licks his lips and goes “well, i love his smile” like????? is that not the cutest fucking shit?? he literally swoons and collapses back into the chair cause hes probably imagining it and then he goes off about it being “beautiful” with david and im sure hans is trying not to cry?? and hans ending it with “thats the only thing that really matters, everything else is secondary” and matteo going “thats true” and then laughing a little bit?? i feel like that whole thing was a bit of a turning point for matteo and wow i am,,, so emotional about it

oh my god im so sorry im going off but im about to go off more cause,,, im gonna talk about davenzi moments now

1. s3ep10cl1- okay im just gonna start strong even though i feel like everyone talks about this clip i REALLY wanna talk about it because??? the fact that they showed a fucking sex scene between a trans boy and a gay cis boy is still so fucking iconic and legendary?? while this whole season really changed my life, this scene in particular is so.......it just feels so good to see. like its so nice watching that and seeing someone who looks like me ya know?? not that i look like david god i wish i was that lucky but like,, someone wearing a binder?? someone whos body looks more like mine than any other trans rep ive seen?? and seeing that body being portrayed as DESIRABLE??? i think thats one of the things that gets me the most is just how like,, just how much matteo is into david lol it just feels good feels organic but im gonna stop myself here before i talk for 1000 years about a less than 4min long clip lmao

2. s3ep10cl4- okay so this clip really just highlights the cute beginning flirting stages of their relationship?? like matteo doesnt want to host the party but then he sees david and smiles and then hes smiling like a fool when he hands david the beanie back and theyre both just so awkward but obviously crushing?? and he wants to keep talking so of course hes gonna bring up the time they hung out, and he looks a lil shocked after david says “it was cool with you” and then he like,, stutters through inviting him to the party cause hes probably so nervous!!! theyre both just such big losers with such BIG crushes on each other its really just the cutest fucking clip and also kinda shows that david isnt necessarily just this,, cool dude?? hes also a stuttery blushy dork with a crush?? wow wow its just such a good underrated clip WOW

3. s3ep9cl7- okay okay okay okay okay im sure there are like lenghty analyses about this clip already but i dont care because holy FUCK??? something i didnt really notice about it before was once matteo finally goes up to david hes like “are you fucking serious” but then he sees that david is fuckin spiraling so his voice gets softer and he asks him like “hey whats wrong” and its just a really good set up to the conversation?? and its nice to see that despite matteo probably being kinda angry hes mostly just worried about david?? and then matteo just lets david go OFF at him and only talks when hes trying to tell him that it isnt going to be the same as it was last time but then once he sees that david is getting angrier and louder hes like okay how am i going to get him to listen so of course matteo, the quietest boy in the world, yells back!!!! and yeah thats the thing that finally stops david from working himself up!! and matteo realizes that hes gonna need to be a lil loud and pushy to make david listen to him and then he goes back to being soft once david is paying attention to him!!! and then he talks and he says so much, like much more than he usually does at one time, and god GOD the way they did that was jsut so GOOD!!!!! and the fact that matteo, who appears to be either depressed or apathetic like 90% of the season, is the one that says i love you first??? and during such an emotional and important moment like?? like after going off about how david isnt alone and that hes really great and jsut needs to stop hiding himself away LIKE???? guys its jsut so so good its just so good i could talk for years but im gonna cut myself off here

honorable mentions cause i cant shut the fuck UP:

1. when theyre looking at davids sketchbook and david is like “these are private actually all of them are private” and matteo is like “well you already showed them to me it doesnt matter” and then he giggles like damn no question why david had such a huge crush on him immediately hes such a cutie

2. “its not a girl”

3. ill just say the whole cuddle clip?? the tender/feral dichotomy?? absolutely *chefs kiss* just fucking perfect

4. THE FIRST KISS??? also gotta say i noticed something for the first time the other night but matteo SMILES and i hadnt seen it before its right after david says “i bet i can hold my breath longer than you” and then the angle changes and he smiles before holding his breath and it killed me when i saw it whoops

5. final shout out along the same lines as ^^ that one but just?? anytime matteo smiles?? fills me with serotonin. the smile in the final clip right before david runs over to kiss him?? the smiles when hes fuckin around with the boys?? every single lil nervous crushy smile with david??? i could go on but im going to stop this now before i say any more this is already too long

#noggins #davenzi #david schreibner #matteo florenzi #matteo x david #sorry this is so long should i tag it #long reads #just in case #i just have so much to say all the time and this?? this is me holding myself back #i have so many words yall so many words

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oh-theatre · 6 years ago

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Sycamore High: Bustling (Chapter two)

A/N: I have their class schedules planned out if you wanna see them, let me know and ill post the. Also hell yeah I did the awkward bump :)

summary: Emma and Charlotte arrive for their first day at school at Sycamore High.

words: 1184

warnings: mentions of sweat

Ao3 link

“Em?” A shy voice asked from her side. Emma turned to face the source. Charlotte stood there, concern and worry filled her eyes. Emma sighed and gave her a quick smile. She readjusted her backpack and kept walking alongside Charlotte.

“Are you excited?” Charlotte asked, playing her own game of hopscotch as they walked. Emma watched her with a smile. She adored how no matter what Charlotte was still the girl that Emma became friends with. A kind, caring, giddy, and creative spirit, a lifelong friend. Emma swallowed as they approached the building. It was giant, glistening with privilege. Emma shook her head and focused on the sidewalk, realizing Charlotte was not beside her anymore. She stopped and turned towards her friend who was now hugging herself a few steps back. Emma gave her a sad smile and walked up to her. She put a reassuring hand her friend's arm.

“Everything ok, Lottie?” The childhood nickname slid off her tongue. Charlotte looked up, tears brimming her eyes. Emma pulled her friend into a hug. “Dont be scared! I know its a new school but we've got each other” Emma comforted. They pulled away, Charlotte wiped her eyes and nodded, her eyes now gazing on the intimidating building. Emma turned to face the building as well, they gave it one look and then each other. Emma took Charlotte's hand and squeezed it as they walked towards Sycamore High.

After almost an hour of waiting in line, Emma and Charlotte had their class schedules and their shared locker in Sophmore Hall. They made their way through the crowded halls of school bustling with Sycamore High students glancing at every kid they didn't recognize. After pushing through the judgment, they arrived at their locker. Emma wasn't going to lie, this school was nice. The lights emitted a soothing color that didn't give her a headache at 7 in the morning. The walls weren't falling apart with old paint and graffiti. The floor was still its original color free of mysterious stains and awful stenches. The classrooms were organized and spacious. The real cherry, however, was the pristine lockers. Stench free, clean, even, and just enough space. The girl's locker was in the perfect spot. Not too crowded, which allowed for some quiet, however not tucked away from everything making it a useless journey between classes. Charlotte started on the lock that was placed on the door while Emma checked her phone. The time struck 7:45, 15 minutes until school began. Emma swiped checking through her socials.

“Aha!” Charlotte shouted triumphantly, Emma turned to face her, confusion riddled her face “I got the locker open!” A proud smile spread across her face. Emma gave a small laugh before patting Charlotte in congratulations. Charlotte nodded pridefully and began to put her stuff into the locker. Charlotte was taller so she took the higher shelf, once she was done Emma checked her schedule and put the books she wouldn't need before lunch into the locker. Both girls sighed relieved at the immediate feeling of a lighter backpack.

“We’ll need to get some decorations,” Charlotte said examining the inside of the locker “A whiteboard, pencil holder… Oo! Some fairy lights... Oh and pictures! Of us!” Charlotte exclaimed giving Emma a sweet smile. Emma nodded slightly scared but glad to see her friend's nerves be projected into something beneficial. Charlotte closed the locker and readjusted herself quickly. The girls looked down at their schedule before unconsciously switching schedules to read each other's classes. A smile tugged at Emma at this, they had been friends for so long they practically worked in sync. Emma quickly scribbled down that her first-period class would be switched with her 4th-period class after today. Apparently, they were still figuring out schedules. They finished and handed them back.

“Looks like we have some of the same classes! Including the first period! Home Ec today and then for the rest of the year Musical Theatre!” Charlotte looked down the hall, Emma gave her an annoyed glance. Charlotte and Emma made a pact to sign up for one elective that the other wanted to do. Charlotte chose musical theatre and Emma chose photography. Charlotte stuck out her tongue, Emma took out her map.

“Home Ec first thing in the morning? Jeezus” Emma sighed before searching for the room on her map, spotting it she showed Charlotte and they made their way towards it. Once they arrived they took seats next to each other and listened as the teacher described the year's syllabus.

The first 2 classes went by quickly. Each class was 90 minutes, 2 before lunch, 2 after. Emma won't admit it but the A-day/B-day class rotation confused her at first. Home Ec was actually quite interesting and Emma was interested to participate in it. Charlotte adored it and couldn't stop smiling, that is until their second class. Emma went their separate ways. Emma went to English, Charlotte made her way to Health. Their respective classes were… well, they weren't really much, they just happened. Once the bell rang for lunch, the girls made their way to the lockers to meet up. Emma was rushing a tad bit seeing as her class was on the other side of the school. So much for perfect locker placement, Emma thought. She sped walked through the hall clutching her books. In Emma's defense, the halls became a bit of a blur. So when she bumped into someone causing both of them to scatter their things, she didn't see who it was for a moment.

“I am so sorry!” She exclaimed dropping to her knees, gathering her things.

“Oh uh... No worries..” The voice was awkward, she saw his figure drop down to the ground to gather their things. They both stood and faced each other. She stood in front of a boy, his hair messy and eyes tired. Emma gave an awkward apologetic smile, he returned it. She scanned him and noticed a name on one of his books, she couldn't quite make it out. She squinted.

“Paul…” He said noticing her gaze, she perked up and nodded. He stuck out his free hand towards her, she shook it. She felt both of them tense up at the unusual amount of nervous hand sweat coming from the pair.

“Emma” She stated “Sorry again, I'm new. Can you tell?” She joked sarcastically. He chuckled, his gaze moved from Emma to something behind her. She turned her head to see two males standing, staring at the pair expectantly. The taller one looked annoyed, the smaller one looked far out. He was simply smiling at them but he wasn't there. “Sorry for keeping you” She mumbled, he snapped his head back to her.

“No, no you're fine. My friend is just impatient… I should go” He said, Emma didn't understand the twinge of disappointment she felt at his words. She nodded.

“Right well, it was nice meeting you Paul,” She said firmly

“You too Emma” He smiled kindly before making his way towards his friends. Disappearing into the crowd of students bustling through.

A/N: Yay they met!! Hope you enjoyed, please leave comments or questions or more!

#tgwdlmhs #musical theatre #theatre #musical #starkid #tgwdlm #the guy who didnt like musicals #joey richter #lauren lopez #corey doris #corey dorris #jon matteson #jaime lyn beatty #au #story #writing #ao3 #archive of our own

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glazedvsion · 3 years ago

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You are super cute and funny and I love seeing your posts even and especially when they're about games (or shows? I'm not sure which they are tbh) that I don't play/watch. I'll be like "oh they're talking about their blorbos again! Good for them!" Cause I know that feeling of enjoying something so much or being so excited about it that you just gotta share. I just love your energy and how you share about the things that you enjoy. You've become one of the blogs I instantly recognize on my dash. And hearing about your day is always refreshing too. It's funny cause we have never talked like at all but you're def one of my favorite ppl on this site and I would kill for you <3

Anyway I genuinely don't remember why I first started following you but i am glad I did. I hope your day is fabulous and you find some money on the sidewalk or something.

i havent responded 2 this yet because it makes me smile sm and i dont think ill do it justice to reply this is so nice T^T sometimes i worry i can be really annoying on here in a bad way so this is pretty reassuring that im not too insufferable on the dash lol& you can talk 2 me anytime also thru asks or whatever i can be kinda awkward but i like talking to people i dont bite!! ty for the compliments 😭💖

#ask #after i got this ask i got a bunch of bday money so thank u fr 🙏🙏

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ashley-goranski-blog · 7 years ago

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Michael Mell x Reader; Sexual Cravings ((SMUT))

yep this is happening !! i cant believe im doing this im such a sin omfg

— requested; no trigger warnings; i dont think so??? kinks; a bit of hair pulling and dirty talk n some spankings;) — enjoy you dirty children; ps im sorry if this is really bad i tried, i also h ate proofreading so im sORRYthis is also one of my first smuts besides the one i made for a friend of mine;; this is also my first x reader goodness i am inexperienced. i feel so ridiculous aaa (the longer i think about this in my drafts the more i hate it tbh) also i type member and womANHOOD BECAUSE I FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE WITH THAT O K AY ok sorry i need to just post this bc ill stop hating it as much

You and Michael had been going out for a couple months now, your relationship was incredibly healthy and all but there was still one thing you weren’t satisfied with yet. You had an intense sexual craving for Michael. You two have never done anything sexual, I mean—you’ve gotten close. . .the farthest you’ve guys ever gotten was Michael’s kissing trailing down to your chest, you two would’ve gotten dirty then but your moment was interrupted by your mom barging in your room. Yeah, that was awkward. Luckily for you, your parents were going away on a trip for the week—this was your chance to. . .y’know get down and dirty with your boyfriend. You plopped yourself onto your bed, thinking of ways you could tell Michael that you wanted to do things with him. You were a virgin and really didn’t know that much about sex, you knew a couple kinks, you’ve seen porn before, but aside from that you were a bit clueless. Your parents were leaving tomorrow so you had to take this chance, you’ve had this sexual craving for weeks—maybe even months now and it was k i l l i n g you. You got all cozy up in your blankets, falling asleep peacefully as you felt the cold breeze from outside.

You grabbed your backpack by the front door, saying goodbye to your parents considering this will be the last time you see them for the week. You shivered as you felt the cold breeze brush against your skin—it had more of an affect due to your wet hair, you had to take a quick shower since you forgot to last night. You were wearing a F/C sweater with the words, ‘Burr, I’m cold!’ along with jeans and sneakers—you patiently waited for Michael to come running up to you, you two always walked to school together. Only a few seconds later, your stunning boyfriend had run up to you—talk about timing. He put an arm around you, kissing your head. He was only a bit taller than you. “Hey, babe.” He smiled, you looked up at him and booped his nose, “Well hello there cutie.” he blushed a light pink and chuckled at you booping his nose. “You sleep well?” Michael asked, you nodded. Michael was always so caring, you loved it whenever he’d ask if you’ve slept well or if you’ve eaten—he cared so much about you and your health. . .he was just so loving, you couldn’t ask for anything more. You two chatted on your way to school, laughing and smiling—going your separate ways when you reached the school, your lockers were way too far apart for your liking. You bit your lip, thinking about the things you wanted Michael to do to you and vice versa. You shook your head as an attempt to clear your dirty thoughts, if that didn’t do it the bell certainly did. You quickly finished doing whatever in your locker, slamming it shut and running to your class. They always felt like forever and they were always so boring, classes that is. Worst of all—none of them were with Michael! The cutest, sweetest boy in your damn life! The only time you could really see him is at lunch with Jeremy. It felt like forever until lunch actually came, you didn’t really care for your school’s lunch but ate it anyway. You made your way to the usual table where you, Michael and Jeremy would sit—you were the first one to actually arrive at the table, you pulled your phone out of your pocket, scrolling through social media and playing games while you waited for Michael and Jeremy. When they did eventually sit down, you quickly turned off your phone and lifted your head up. “It’s been 5 years.” You joked, both of the boys chuckled and Michael ruffled your hair—then kissing you, “I missed you.” He said, still close to your face. You blushed, “I missed you too.” you smiled causing him to smile back at you. God, he loved your smile. Actually, he loved everything about you. . .and you loved everything about him. You flinched a bit, feeling him put his hand on your knee—he looked at you, concerned and quickly pulled his hand away, unsure if he just spooked you a bit or you didn’t like it. You shook your head no, “It just scared me a bit.” you told him. He sighed in relief, you looked over at Jeremy to make sure he was doing alright. He was doing great, occupied by his phone. You looked back at Michael, blushing lightly realizing he was still looking at you. You both stared into each other’s eyes for a few moments before Michael blinked, realizing what he was doing and going back into reality. “Michael—” You said quietly, but loud enough for Michael to hear, “Hmm?” he hummed. “I wanna talk to you about something after school.” You said, nervously playing with the hem of your sweater. He nodded and kissed your temple, earning a giggle from you—Jeremy looked up, curious as to what was happening both you and Michael looked at him and smiled in unison. Jeremy chuckled and looked back down at his phone.

The three of you made it out of the school, Jeremy said he was gonna walk home today—you and Michael decided not to question it and nodded, going your separate ways. Michael unlocked his car and opened the door for you, “What’d you wanna talk about?” he asked, you got into his car—not responding yet so he closed the door and assumed you were gonna tell him when you were both in the car. He walked around the car, opening the door and getting in—closing the door and starting the car, he looked at you and waited for an answer. “W-Well, my parents are gonna be gone for the week and—” You took a deep breath, “I don’t know, I’ve been like kind of frustrated lately.” Michael grabbed your hand, planting a kiss on it. “What’s wrong?” He asked, you could hear worry in his voice. “N-No, not like that kind of frustrated like. . .that kind of frustrated.” You said, blushing from embarrassment. Michael blushed, “O-Oh.” he said quietly. “B-But I’m not saying you have to!” You said quickly, “I’m just—I’m just saying! God, I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned it, you see I just—” Michael chuckled, “Hey, hey, it’s fine.” he cut you off, he found it adorable at how nervous you were. “I-I’ve kind of been. . .yeah.” He said, you looked away still a bit embarrassed. After a minute of silence, you looked back over at Michael. “I can’t take it anymore.” You said, he looked at you—seeing the hunger in your eyes. “M-Michael, I need you.” You stuttered, Michael nodded before driving off to your house. You felt butterflies in your tummy—not that, that feeling was out of the ordinary, Michael always gave you butterflies. . .you were just so excited—in more ways than one.

Michael pulled into your driving lot, taking his PT Cruiser keys out of the ignition. You two got out of the car at the same time—both of you rushed to the front door as you took the house key out of your pocket, trying to quickly unlock the door. You were filled with excitement as well as Michael, you successfully unlocked the door and ran inside, closing the door. Jesus, you two got really horny during that car ride. He pinned you against the door, kissing you deeply. You gasped, allowing him access to explore your mouth. He pushed his body up against yours, his crotch brushing against yours—causing you to let out a small moan. Your lips separated, you stared into each others eyes for a couple moments before he picked you up bridal style and took you over to the couch, setting you down. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Michael asked, you nodded. “One hundred percent.” You assured him, he chuckled and planted a kiss on your forehead. “Well in that case. . .” He bent down, face to face with your womanhood. He put his hands on your knees, spreading your legs—you were leaking through your panties a bit but not a lot. . .still noticeable though. Michael smirked and put your legs back together, “Take off your pants.” he demanded. You nodded and quickly took off your jeans—he spread your legs again and put two fingers at the entrance of your womanhood, “Look at you. . .so wet, so wet just for me.” he smiled, you whined—wanting him to do something to you. “Patience, love.” He said, smirking and removing your panties. He inserted two fingers into you, you moaned—he tugged at your shirt, signaling you to remove it, so you did. He groped your left breast, earning a gasp from you followed by another moan as his fingers went in and out. “M-Michael...” You whined, “You want my cock, don’t you?” he smirked. . .hearing him say that just seemed to turn you on more—you nodded quickly. He removed his fingers and began to take off his clothes, once he was finished he went back to fingering you, but this time with three fingers and rubbing your clit with his thumb—making you become a moaning mess, “I want you to beg for it.” he said making your eyes go big, “W-Wha—” you moaned before you could finish. “Beg for it.” His pace went face, you gulped. “I-I want you. . .t-to fuck me, Michael. I want you to fuck me with your big cock!~” You moaned, he smirked—clearly satisfied. “Alright.” He removed his fingers from your womanhood and flipped you over. He spanked you, earning a small yelp from you as he bit his lip and positioned himself to your entrance. “You’re sure you wanna do this?” He asked again, he was horny as hell but still wanted your consent. . .what a sweet boy. You nodded, he smiled and pushed his member into gently. You moaned and bit your lip, it hurt a bit but you dealt with the pain—his thrusts were slow at first but within time they started to speed up, “You like my cock, yeah?” he groaned and spanked you—you nodded. “Mhm~” you moaned. He began to pull your hair, but this only made you moan more than you already were. “Your pussy’s so tight~” He groaned, “M-Michael, fuck me harder with your cock!~” you moaned. His thrusts got faster and he fucked you harder—this man was determined to make you scream his name. He gripped your hair tighter and pulled it harder—lifting your body up a bit. He rubbed your clit with his free hand, making you moan loudly and not only that, big boy Michael had just found your g-spot. “M-MICHAEL!” You yelled, “F-FUCK! F-Fuck me. . .fuck me right, right there...” you moaned. He smirked, feeling achieved he had found your g-spot and began to ram into your g-spot—you moaned his name a decent amount of times, suddenly you feel a knot begin to form in your stomach. “Fuck— Michael, I’m so close. . .you—” You moaned but continued your sentence, “make me feel so good~” Michael groaned hearing you say that, “I love you. . .I love you so much, Y/N.” now keep in mind—he may be fucking your brains out right now, but he truly means it. He does love you. He loves you so, so, so, so, so, much. . .and you love him back, you two sometimes argue on who loves each other more—but they’re playful arguments! “Fuck! Y/N, I’m gonna cum!” He groaned, “M-Me t—” before you could even finish saying what you were gonna say, both you and Michael reached your climax—both of you screaming each others name simultaneously. He let go of your hair and pulled his member out, collapsing down onto the couch. Some of his cum dripping out of you—you collapsed down next to him and it was only now you realized. . .you had forgotten to use something. You looked at him, both of you breathing heavily—he smiled and stroked your hair, “I love you.” he smiled, you loved hearing him say that. “I love you too. . .but we, uh, forgot to use a condom.” You chuckled nervously, Michael looked horrified. You kissed him, “Excitement got the best of us.” you said. He sighed, “I suppose.” you ran your fingers through his hair. “C’mon, hon. Let’s go shower.” You said, you had read on the internet that you should shower after intercourse. Michael nodded—you picked up your guys’ clothes and he picked you up, carrying you upstairs to your shower. (I apologize if you don’t have a two-story house;;) You dropped the clothes onto the bathroom floor as Michael turned on the shower—he opened the shower door, stepping in and waited for you to step in. You slowly stepped into the shower, unaware if it was gonna be hot or cold. Michael smiled and closed the shower door, it was your usual shower. You and Michael washed each other’s hair and body, he kissed your forehead a couple times and you’d take some of the foam from your hair and put it on Michael’s nose. You actually make a foam beard and pretended you were Santa Claus, earning a small giggle from Michael—he honestly thought it was incredibly adorable. Like, how can a human be that cute? The shower didn’t last too long, you and Michael didn’t play around that much—you both dried off with a couple of towels and helped each other put your clothes back on, Michael picked you up making you giggle. “You’re seriously the cutest damn thing...” He said softly, taking you back downstairs. You blushed lightly, he sat down on the couch and set you down in his lap, “I’d say you’re cuter.” you smirked. Michael gasped dramatically, “Noo! You’re the cutest.” he laughed. “Nuh uh.” You smiled, he tickled you a bit—you giggled and kissed him. “I love you so much.” You muttered, “I love you too.” he intertwined his fingers with yours as you put your foreheads on his.

#bmc #be more chill #michael mell #michael mell x reader

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blckdtd · 4 years ago

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"Train"

i had a crush on a college friend for like three years already... maybe longer than that. im writing this post because ive dreamt about him this morning. i tried to sleep again as i still want to continue that crazy dream since it was a bit beautiful. we were happy in that dream. but im not sure if because we are together as a couple or as something else.

i actually really like seeing him smile most of the time, thats why whenever we go home together i try to talk to him and make him laugh or smile as much as possible. but, being a funny person was not my best asset, so its always... awkward. it also fascinates me whenever we dont talk at all, or when his face is blank with unreadable emotion, though sometimes im having anxious thoughts that maybe he was annoyed on why do i kept talking and talking when he is clearly not interested. those moments taught me to shut my mouth most of the times.

but how did everything started? ill try to recall everything dont worry.

it was summer, and we were still freshman in college, group chats for sections in our department were already made and people were already having some clicks and groups. i also found our class' group chats, and while scrolling on the member's list, he was the first person i added on facebook since i noticed he was quite good looking (young me dumb me. always lookinh for the face. apologies). but i never messaged him personally on facebook.

first day came in, he was the first person i talked to actually since he was the person i first recognized. but, during freshman year, he was not my seasonal crush. had a crush on two person on different sememsters, one for each sememsters, but i dont think theres a need to elaborate on that i guess. maybe another time.

sophomore year is starting to come in. summer after fresh man year, i found out that the four of us will be in the same section, me, him, T, and A. the thing is, we actually belong in the same group of friends, we also have the gc (group chat). when i found out that the four of us are in the same class, i started to have some panic or thinking, that "oh shit. he is my classmate. this year. he ll be on the long list of my seasonal mandatory crush (i know. it sucks to have this mentality, like i cannot move forward to my life without having a crush on anyone or anything). i tried to avoid the feelings because he is quite a nice person. but it happened after that event.

swimming class, this was the first day i guess??? i cant remember. but i know it was the swimming class. the four of us were kinda huddled together since we dont rrally get alonv with everyone yet, and the instructor said to group ourselves in to two. to be honest, during the time, i quite sure o dont have the feelings for him yet. so me and him like automatically paired ourselves, since t and a automatically paired themselves. then he said "lets go there". then we grabbed each others hand, under the water. i can still remember that time because after that day, i did not exactly have it in mind, but the longer the time passes, the more i can remember, and im pretty sure he dont even remembered that day.

we hold hands under water and he lead the way. it was not the romantic type holding hands, the one where people actually intertwined their hands, it was just simple holding hands. then we let go, and started the routines we need to do.

being that im the fat one, i did feel how his hands are kinds bony since hes quite thin. and he is also lighter, i even believed that i could piggy back him if he ask me too. i know that he is lighter when our instructor ask us to do a simple floating where we simply lay flat on the water surface. it was fun knowing that he actually cant do that given that he is a really good swimmer and he is lighter too, but i can, a non good swimmer even if it could save my life. i almost like carried him in my arms to guide him how to float, thats how i found out he is light, but thats okay, i also liked that about him.

then one day, i woke up, i said to my self. "shit. im having a crush on him. this is not good". what i hate about this, is because i have the constant need to show off or have his attention or be in the same grouos or anything with him... like? we are already going home together cause we take tge same train or something, im so greedy, attention seeker, obsessed, annoying. i also chat him on facebook most of the time, like i always need to find a reason to talk to him or something. almost the whole year of second year college was me being a bother to him or something, and i just fully realized it now. and if ever for some reason you read this, yes, this is about you, and im really sorry for bothering you all these years thinking that you might, well, "reciprocate" the feelings, in short, sorry for being immature.

til this day, some parts of my heart, wished that there are times where he did enjoy our small talks on the train, or if he did enjoy having me as a "friend".

i can still remember how we talked about the girl you almost become girlfriend, about how you felt when one of our classmate gave you something on valentines day, how i fucked up and confessed of having feelings for you, and how we somehow remained as friends even after that day. i know you told our other friends that i confessed my feelings for you, thats why they started teasing me about it.

i missed you needing me to go somewhere sometimes because youre not much of a streetsmart or always forgets how to go some certain place. i remember how i said that you can rest your head on my shoulder when we were on the train on our way to one of our friends house to make a costume, how i lend my earphones to you so you can listen to some music even though i actually love listening to music, how you waited for me on train station even though i was late. we had a meet up.that day because you want to buy something that we found while looking for some naterials to make the costume, well you waited because you barely remember how to get there in the first place. not gonna lie, i was kinda happy how you waited for me on that station.

i can also remember how we talked throughout our jeepney ride on our way to the station, im sorry to say this, but during that day, i somehow had a hunch that you were just talking to me because i kinda led our way on how the two of us will get home, because you dont always talk to me in first place, ever since that day you knew, which i did understood, but i dont know why i still.stood my ground on seeking yoir attention. ha! but yes i can still remember how i take you to your station on your way home because you dont know your way, i got off of the train even though i could have just stayed and have my way home. it was fun though, and so foolish of me.

why am i even head over heels on you even after all this years? yes until now.

third year college, i promised my self that ill try to stop having feelings for you. but i didnt. but we were on that level where we just accepted that yeah i know that you know thatbinhave feelings for you but we will just be civil about it. we were kind of a pair tbh, you can use my phone whenever you want since that was the time when yiu dont have your own phone. you actually have more photos on that phone than me lol. we were in a civil state to the point we even became automatic pairs on an activity in botany class. we even became thesis groupmates. you probably had the most contribution on that thesis so i still thank you even till this day.

i also remembered when you asked me to come with you to get your birth certificate since you actually dont know how to get one, not gonna lie again, i was kinda having a moment back there since we were in the middle of thesis day, more like finishing it up, but you asked me to come with you. we travelled like for almost an hour for that, fell in line just to have your id photocopied, then i instructed you on which line you should take next, how to get this and that, then i waited for you, again. so we can also go back to the university. i had some realizations that day. on the lengths that my feelings for you drove me.

i also remembered how we went home together like we usually do after that earthquake since the station had a bit of crack on its foundation. but we went to separate ways you rode a jeepney on your way. i walked to mine.

one of the things that touched me was when you asked me about my favorite band, why did i liked them, and you somehow, had some small history, that you listened to them before or something.

but there are also those days where we dont even talked about anythibg at all. we just stayed silent. and bid our goodbyes and take cares. maybe those were your favorite days, just kidding.

im not trying to paint you as bad guy for not reciprocating or anything. im just remembering things, and i need to let them out.

it kinda sucks when i didnt saw you on the last day where we need to return our graduation gowns because i need to leave early that day because of an emergency family trip to the beach. just a celebration because i just graduated.

im sorry i still havent picked up your drawings that i said i will buy just to help you. because i had a job that time and you still havent because youre supposed to go to a medical school.

our company had a job opening but i was too shy to send the invite to you, idk why. i did tried to talk to you again just like a normal friend but, i know i cant. even while writing this, i can attest that im still not in the best condition to talk to you because i still... cant move on. this sucks.

there are parts of me that wished i didnt approached you on the first day of class. or maybe i shouldnt held your hand under water. or maybe... i shouldnt have just let this.feelings swallowed me.

i dreamed of you last night. but dont worry, nothinh sexual. i dreamed of holding your hand again. and seeing your smile. softly playing your hands until they were intertwined. it was a good dream. i wish i didnt woke up. but i need to.

your smile was so beautiful, i rarely saw them actually even after hundreds of train trips we had together. i loved the sound of your laugh actually that will soon give your smilling face. i can even remember your eyelashes they were so beautiful, though i hope you werent freaked out when i looked at you.

youre a beautiful person, your smart, you sometimes dark humor, you being lowkey gentleman, your creativity and artistry. everything about you.

to end this, i hope you know that it is not late to pursue your artistic passion or to go to a medical school. youre a brilliant person Eli, i hope you know that also. and i loved you, as person, as a friend, as someone who i went head over heels. right now, i do wish we meet again, but in a different time, but now, i only wish you happiness and success. thank you for being part of my life as a simple college student.

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the-ace-of-the-moon · 8 years ago

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this got derailed oops

im really sorry i havent refilled the queue lately and that i havent been posting much but i sorta have good news and bad news. Both are mostly related to me personally but obviously they have been (a/e)ffecting the blog so i will be sharing but to start off, i will be continuing this blog and its here to stay. If you want my whole rant/ breakdown its below the break but long story short good news i got a job bad news im having some life problems that are making my mental problems flare up like my anxiety and trichotillomania so i will do my best but i probably will only have scattered posting for a while sorry.

The good news is that i fimally got a job so i wont just be lazing about anymore and so far ive been enjoying it there! I dont know what i get paid but tomorrow is the last day of my 2 weeks of training, which is great because i actually got proper training and also i get to see how i do on my own after this!

The bad news is i have a lot of things that have been getting set aside even before i got the job and some of it is kinda approaching deadlines and while im trying to forcus on the new job, the job is taking a forefront priority as a commitment thats blocking everything else out. I have to return a couple audio books, start and finish a painting that im just blocked on, set up a day to talk to a councillor so i can apply to a new college, apply for college, and balance my social life with my down time. The new jobs sorta eclipsing everything so im trying to think of how i can even do college while having a job and my mom keeps pressuring me about college and in the meantime my friends keep trying to schedule things and i dont know how to react so my brain keeps just kinda fritzing and then rerouting to a different task so i end up ignoring them which is bad but i dont know how to explain to this one friend that shes kinda pushy and ive been really nice about it but its not realistic to expect someone to drive for hours on end not only frequently but also at insane hours of the night and not even out of town. Like just cruising the streets from 9 pm to 3 am. And enjoy it. And not get paid for gas or anything. Just tonight she said "oh yeah and [name redacted of friend who usually tags along] is leaving in a couple weekends (this person goes to college out of state so we dont get to see them) so we are gonna need to go on a drive soon" I dont want to? But if the friend thats leaving wants to go its 2 against 1 and honestly both those 2 have been having some drama of each saying the other interacts with their significant other too much and they keep talking to me about it and its exhausting? Like i get that both of their significant others live far away and in different time zones and have jobs but neither of my friends have jobs or can drive and i have to listen to their shit waiting for something to blow up and worry about how im gonna take care of my problems and its not like i can drop these 2 bc i keep burning bridges due to lack of social motivation so i only have 4 people i actually consistently initate contact with but 2 of those people are far away and have actual lives so i try not to bother them and the other 2 are these messes and really its the one that causes the most problems but all of this has been stressing me out which makes me anxious and kinda depressed and unmotivated to do anything and its all made my trich worse but ive been doing my best to control it but now today there was too much going on bc i had my axiety at the forefront, my problems on my mind, i had an exhausting family event to go to earlier, and then this shit gets shoved back into view and since im home alone i finally dug out the tweezers ive been trying to hide from myself and now half of the inner lashes on my top left lid are gone and i look fuckin wierd and im too keyed up to sleep and im ignoring my friend and i want to pluck more but ill just go for the left eye again bc it looks wierd and ill end up with no lashes and my coworker who's training me will ask and itll be awkward and my mom will see and be mad bc she thought the trich was just a phase when i was in elelmentry and why didnt i tell her about it still going on ant ittl be a whole thing which will make it worse and now im fucking crying. Or not bc apparently ive suppressed my emotions too much and too often that im fine now ok that was wierd any way sum up lifes good but simultaneously shitty so now my lashes and skin (didnt mention but i typically have really good skin unless im stressed real bad so now my face is starting to break out and get dry and irritated) are fucked up and i wont be posting as often until i can find the motivation to fill up the queue agan. Sorry you had to read this mess and apparent roller coaster of emotions (with an anticlimactic end) but hey now you know more than you ever would have about the admin of this blog other than that shes an aro(flux)ace witch

#agh i have a growing headach now #not witchy #samrambles #ignore the rest lol

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survivorinternational · 6 years ago

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Episode 2 - "I couldn't believe I heard God wrong the third time" - Sluggy

Jacob: I have no idea for the video Me: I have an idea Jacob: its shit oh okay... give us a better idea before you shut mine down would you?

So for the past 2 days ever since we won the reward challenge and got the chance to get a clue to the hidden immunity idol, the info had been passed around among everyone in the tribe that it was on the beach. I was waiting for the next opportunity to search for the idol because I know everyone's gonna go for it, and today I was busy beforehand and couldn't search for it until 4 hours after the challenge. But the first day I came here God told me specifically it was at the beach and in the headlands, it just wasn't on the cliff. So i go there and search and search and i cant find it, and im about to give up...

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...and something falls on my lap, I open it up and here it is. The hidden immunity idol. I couldn't believe I heard God wrong the third time. HAHA! I'm so grateful for this. After all the Asians having idols in the psst seasons of survivor man.

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So this sucks but I have to keep this idol as hidden as possible even from my closest allies. It's gonna be a big target on my back and if its possible i dont want to use it all the way until the final time I can use it. So even though Michael and Jacob asked about it, I couldn't tell him and err I don't want to lie anymore so it's definitely tough :( Whatever it is I have to keep humble and continue to stay under the radar.

This challenge will take a lot of confidence which I completely lack but I will do my best and everything what I am asked to. I am kinda pressuring Vilma into being the director/editor of this since I know she is into stuff like this but I might have put too much pressure. Will try to work something out better in that regard.

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Ginger's constant bullying of the ghost of Emils will get him into deep shit.

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This challenge has been a real coller coaster for me. I hate filming myself in videos but seeing the confidence Vilma (and others) have is really inspiring. We are doing "Toy" by Netta which is a pretty fun song to lipsync to. I am not the best but I am having fun with it and getting some exercise in the meanwhile. I will still undoubtebly hate any of my bits but at least I have the courage to participate and do my best.

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About hour of recording myself. I shall not edit it from a cringy mess into a slightly less cringy mess. Wish me luck.

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I do not know if it is because I am slightly slick but I am editing my clips into a more coherent structure and my stomach genuinely hurts from cringe

A week in and I received my 1st message from Dean/Dylan :D how lucky. I also have slightly more newfound time coming up in the next few days so I can spend more time building trust with Tyler, Stephen and Dean/Dylan

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I just saw Tyler's part in the music video. How can 1 man be that hot. Like wtf did he do to get those kinds of genetics. I'm so fucking jealous rn. This confessional will contain no actual substance, just me shit posting about how fuxking AWESTRUCK I am at this man. Go to 2:15 of our music video to see... Damn!

Right so this day was um interesting. I highly doubt i'll cover all the boring ass t but watevs. Ok SO, we had our first cheeky little game talk with Michael who much to my recent surprise is like 33 years old. pop off grandpa. Love him tho. So we had a fun little chat about who we liked, highkey like Stephan the most but didnt want to say that cause he had already said Stephan seems distant, so i pretended i was chill with other people just to be fun :). ANYWAY, he wants to create a majority with Jacob and Dean but honestly like no, those kids r the REAL crackheads. I want to work with Sluggy and Stephan so it was a tee bit awkie for me. But i smiled and waved anyway cause thats ALL im good at. If Michael was to try and create a majority with those 4 i'd highkey flip 🤭. Dean was just... how to put this... slop, and im not having slop in my house MY APOLOGIES. While planning for the challenge he was annoying and then throughout the challenge he was annoying. OK SO i am NOT mean and this challenge is clearly AWKWARD for everyone and everyone is being out there BUT deans video... like i used two seconds of it. Im sorry my love i dont know how to introduce that pillow possession story line into the video... . I think half way through he needed a nap? and started having night terrors, geez i hope he's ok. RIGHT anyway. I finished the video, i hope my editing and also telling everyone that they're part was really helpful and easily the best will grant me safety regardless! O also Jacob told me the idol clue BUT i dont know whether to believe it or not :((( so he says its at the beach, im like well what was the actual clue? was it cryptic? then he said 'you inhaled smoke and it was hidden there' wtf u mean THAT was the clue. Absolutely not, get that SLOP out of MY face. RIGHT but i looked at the beach anyway to NO PREVAIL. Michael and Jacob both told me where they looked tho ;) Throwback to last confessional where i didnt think i was making an in roads with people, well i THINK i could be much better off now! Jacob says he only really talks to Stephan which is GOOD because i want Dean out and i thought he was close to dean. Also Jacob starting having game talk to me which was a HOOT because i thought he DIDNT like me. obviously my piercing eyes got the better of him. Im close with Stephan, Jacob, Michael and the singaporian one. OOPS thats all of the tribe but Dean. I've been whip whop wheaving my way through these relationships as best i can and forcing myself onto people without them realising. All i need is 1 or 2 STRONG connections and ill smile :) O also Jacob said i was hot and asked if i was single! LOVELY, amazing LOVE compliments, will use this child if need be but if he's trying to use me, sucks for him because im self conscious and DONT believe his compliments anyway. I THINK im setting myself up in a mildly good position, just gonna be more pal'y. I hope people LIKE me.

We gave our best but our Basic White Boy music video is totally gonna lose, and I’m taking some responsibility for that too. I knew we should’ve chosen something gayer.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KBaGOCmiwLknXyQoaaeyqZ0isdVOFUV2/view here are my clips :eyes:

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I am not saying I am aiming for it, but I am totally aiming for most confessionals. So fun story here. Whole summer not a single time I was bitten by a mosquito. Then this survivor starts. What is survivor known for? Tropical islands with mosquitos and such. So I was riding my bicycle yesterday and sat on a bench for a bit to rest up. 5 minutes. I sat for 5 minutes on this damn bench. 7 mosquito bites all on my legs, 3-4 split. I was fuming. Apparently that opened the pandora's box of mosquitos because I have been bitten 4 more times since them. I am full of hate. In other news: http://prntscr.com/od5qry This is really nice to see. Vilma's the best <3

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I CAN'T STOP TYPING IN ALL CAPS OUR VIDEO IS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT

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my life is now a meme

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oh wait it already was

CURRENTLY FREAKING OUT BECAUSE!!!!!!!!! IM EDITING THE MUSIC VIDEO BUT LIKE I HAVE SUCH LIMITED TIME!!!!! I ALSO HAVE TO BE FORTY FIVE MINUTES AWAY FROM MY CURRENT LOCATION IN AN HOUR AND THAT MAKES I ONLY HAVE FIFTEEN MINUTES TO EDIT WHICH I DEFINITELY CANNOT FINISH IN TIME. ALSO HAVING HUGE FUCKING PROBLEMS BECAUSE MY OLD METHOD OF DOWNLOADING VIDEOS IS NOT WORKING!!!!!!!!!!! AND IM REALLY FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT LOL SO IM SCREEN RECORDING OUR VIDEOS BUT I ALSO DON'T HAVE THE ACTUAL AUDIO FOR AMERICAN BOY AND IM STRUGGLING TO DOWNLOAD IT I MIGHT NEED TO BUY IT ON MY PHONE LIKE FUCK FJLKDJASLKFAJDSKL THIS IS SO DIFFICULT AND IM TRYING TO KEEP IT TO MYSELF INSTEAD OF WORRYING MY TRIBE MATES BUT OMG WHY I HATE MY LIFE

I feel so guilty that I didn’t help my tribe with this challenge, I really hope we win! If we don’t win honestly I will probably just tell them all they can vote me off- I hate to go without a fight but they all participated in the video and I feel like it would be the fair thing to do. Hopefully we don’t have to worry about that and my tribe wins!

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Me putting my life on the line for my TRIBE? Must be the drugs this is not really in my character but I feel really bad and want them all to thrive

I spent my entire day doing that music video and I'm gonna cry if we lose and go to tribal again ughhhhhhhhhh. I really tried my best and am super proud of my tribe mates too they did a great job. I really like the video.

Yes! Another win for Ala Mai! I'm loving this tribe and loving this game! I want to get to the merge with as many of my tribe mates as possible because we all have very similar timezones so I need that in my game.

I am so happy we won the challenge ! I offered the Toy idea but then couldn't participate myself because of real life reasons ugh. My tribe tho did an AMAZING JOB and Im glad we chose Netta

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Ok so just now I have realized these are not the during-game published confessionals. So I'm gonna confess: I was so fucking nervous not to be able to participate in the video challenge. I wanted to take part and it's risking eviction if we lose. On the other hand, I kinda knew I would be fine even if we lost. First, I offered the song for the tribe. Second, my alliance with Vilma and Veni is controlling the tribe, I have Clash from the side and we got majority. So I'd probs be fine anyway. Glad we won tho !

Uh I’ve been so busy for the past few days I can’t socialise and am very worried

Day 4: Video editing challenge. This will be fun. Make a music video. Tribe chat is just going in circles with choosing a song. Song is finally chosen, Lonely Dance. Its a strange song, would have prefered something more campy or darker but oh well. I dont have time to do a video edit, i also want to take a back seat of this challenge. Searched for idol, No luck but i now have a good list of where to look narrowed down to 3 locations. Think im going to trust Tyler more.

http://prntscr.com/odkz7k

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idk if i made a confessional about this but holy shit Lord is in this

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I realise I spam so many messages to people at once. Shoutout to Vilma for always replying (although slowly) to every single one

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Quiet day today, barely spoke to people. Please no swap.

Well I'm sad to go to tribal this early, but it's probably needed. I didn't like my participation in this challenge but I was really short on time, it sucks but oh well, at least Ruthie told us to vote her and hopefully it isn't a hard vote

Whew! Thank god we won immunity. I honestly think we tried so hard so it felt nice to be recognised for that (and by we I mean those of us who actually helped out with the challenge......). Vilma worries me a bit. I really like her and she gives off a great energy but I feel like she could use that to lead a big alliance further down the line. I definitely won't be targeting her anytime soon and hopefully I can get in that alliance at some point, but she's someone to keep an eye on.

Hello this round was boring we had shitty judges yet again woo we lost immunity woo now we have to look like bad people and vote ruthie out because shes sacrificing herself woo

WE WON!!!!!! NO TRIBAL!!!!! FUCK YESSSS And the judges were so nice to me I legit almost cried I love everyone ughhhh my heart Music video challenges are so amazing I don't care if what placement I get anymore we made that video and that's all I care about really I hope we're swapping soon!

Okay so whew I had tribal for this game and I was nommed in a BB game so it's been a busy day today! I thought I might play my idol no matter what tonight, but Ruthie has been going through some stuff and volunteered to be voted out. Unfortunately it is uneventful for the viewers and for the hosts but I hope it is nice and easy and I can save my idol for later. Also, tribe swap anyone? Idk I haven't really clicked with anyone yet...Wow my social game sucks I'm sorry hosts, give me comps I can win, ty.

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survivoratomic-acadia · 6 years ago

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Confessionals!

Hi it is Olivia! So I don't have the gifs of this season or the player banners so this will be separated by day since I was just an intern and didn’t keep track of confessionals or what day it was when they were posted. Its just all of the confessionals for this season on one post. Sorry for the delay!

5/22

Tim

WHY ARENT I ON THE PRETTY TRIBE! I love Aren already he seems super fun and chill! Certain people... however make me wonder why they are all stars.. jk lmao Im here to have fun and do great!

Aren

Spoiler alert, the f3 is trixie/madison/aren!!!

QuilLynn

So its me, QuilLynn, Two-time winner, next first boot of atomic! I'm happy to be with Dana, but idk about the rest of tribe. I don't really click with anyone, so i'll probably just try to let dana have the social game and i'll just like cling to her coat tails until merge or a swap. I'm trying to be my catty self and form a pretty girls alliance with Dana and Sarah since we are all Iconic woman winners, but I know Sarah will be more loyal to dan, or I think it at least. I'll fill you in more later, gotta go mingle! <3 xoxo gossip ho

Stephen

Its what, one hour into the game and I already love sarah. i knew this season was going to be crazy, it is after all all-stars. So that means no inactives to vote out round one. Eek. So I’ve got to work fast to make those social connections and try and get myself a place in whatever majority forms if we lose immunity. Which we wont. I love creative writing, if we lose this because of my writing I might as well give up writing altogether.

Aundra

"THIS IS BRAZY!! Going into this im ""like Jesus do i want any IOS people in?"" ""theres going to be at least one, right?"" SIKE! THERES 3!! i cant deal im super excited that tim and heather are in the same game as me because they're great people Stephens also here which is awkward a little but i dont really feel like theres any bad blood between us, we've basically made up since IOS . ALSO IM ON A TRIBE BUILT MOSTLY FROM WINNERS. I really wanted to have some winners on my tribe that way i could have hopefully a built in alliance but all winners except one is on my tribe thats so much pressure. And unlike most games ive had a small convo with just about everyone on my tribe/ know them or i like them. this game is definitely going to be different experience and hopefully it will be a long and fulfilling im really looking forward to this season.

my game plan for right now is to get on the good side of all the people that haven't won a game yet and get the other winners out. target #1 QuilLynn SHE HAS WON TWICE. did they let sandra make it to merge?? NO do i want to go far with her in this game? NO is she probably a great person? MAYBE but i dont want to take chances and im gonna be pretty limited at the begging of this game so hopefully the will let me survive long enough to establish myself apart of this game.

Hopefully this game is worth it and is as fun is it was last time even if like time i was sent into a depressive mode thanks pressure last time i think i can take it this time! lmao xoxo, gossip girl "

5/23

Madison

TOO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW. TOO MANY PEOPLE THAT HATE ME. I’M GONNA DIE SO FAST.

Dan

"So I like a lot of my tribemates which is cool because if I didn’t I would have quit night one and thrown all the rice in the fire. There’s a ton of Lago representation, which I’m not surprised about, but am v concerned about. It’s like when you were in like 7th grade and you had those friends you talked to every day and then summer came and y’all didnt talk for a while and you come back for 8th grade and things are chill and you catch up, but they still know you’re better than them in every way.

This first challenge is....a choice. I love Cameron with all of my heart normally, but this makes me only love him with my right atrium, so there’s that. I havent taken an English class since 12th grade so y’all know I’m basiclally illiterate now.

I’m just hoping for a cute little jury placement and play a more UTR Sammy-esque game this time around. I know that eventually the wheels will fall off of that plan and I’ll go into full on neurotic, here, queer, and not going anywheer mode where I win like 6 consecutive immunities, but for the mean time I’m goung to try to be diverse, and show I’m not a one trick homosexual. "

Sarah

"Hey so let me just tell yall im stoked for this season bc im back for ALL STARS!

First season winner and flop returning again.

I adore this cast and the fact that I have been put on a tribe with all the winners (except luke) is amazing. we created a girl winner alliance right away with me, dana and quillynn. I adore them so much!

Also im connecting with stephen and i think he likes me! I will prob be able to control him a tiny bit this season so lets see how that goes :~)

I just want to let yall know there will rocks this season bc me and julia are back! Were not on the same tribe but i adore that bitch and shes just as equal craziness as me

So far i have connections af and i havent burned any bridges with the ppl in this game so im literally in love

Jay will probably want to get me out asap but fuck u im on my own tribe OK

Anyways just like s1 i have an alliance made almost immediately and i have connections!

Also i did the whole immunity so incase we lose they will feel guilty of voting me out WHHAAHAHAHHA

Anyways ill be back later with more news"

Aundra

"A tribe full of mostly winners.. in a way sounds ideal. It’s not the only person that’s attempt the first challenge is Sarah and Sammy helped out i wrote half of one which is better than I bet majority of team has done I highly doubt we’re going to win the challenge becaus Sarah’s story is not all that great it lacks anything it’s just boring but aleast she tried she put forth some effort toward the challenge and I honestly don’t want to go to a tribal that would be the worst also did I forget to mention that the idol system for this season is the exact same way as IOS which I suched and was probably the worst person in the moors of all time cannot l t me just make merge so I can have and isle of skye reunion with my main man tim cause I really need someone that would be my ride or die and I wouldn’t have to worry about betraying me

Also I QuilLynn is a really cool person it would be hard to vote them out ( I think that’s there pronoun caus ewhen we were talking she started using we and what not so I’m gonna call her they/them for now on) and Duncan obviously did some sorta research on the cast cause he came at me with basically my whole tumblr survivor history. I gotta watch him closely Xoxo, gossip girl "

Tim

"Everyone: oh this challenge is so cute its gonna be great

Me internally: It's ok but I thought I'd see it at swap or something its not my favvvorite

Also them: Doesn't write anything for the challenge but some gives ideas

Me: Guess I'll just... write."

Well I just wrote my story for the tribe and trixie drew some bomb ass pictures! It really brought the story to life a bit and I appreciate the partnership effort!

Stephen

"Duncan: Don’t backstab me okay? Me sharpening my knives: Unfortunate Like I love the guy but anyone who asks for an alliance day one can easily become a target or an asset. If we end up losing this challenge I will either throw him under the bus of us or us him to get numbers. Also about this challenge, I feel really bad for not having more input, especially after I bragged about my writing. But tbh this prompt is very specific, and doesn’t really mesh with my style of writing. And by the time I had caught up with messages and read what Sarah had written it was 11:30. Sorry guys."

Duncan

https://youtu.be/5PLE0dQ1mIk

Aundra

"this is going to sound completely under believable but it’s all true and happened day while I was in the the Acadia Mountains on a afternoon hike. So I was walking having a very nice time enjoying a new trail I’d never taken before. It was longer than most and seemed to never end, I almost thought I was going around in circles. When I was finally about to give up my gps went off saying I was near a geocache! So like any normal person I went to go it. When i found the capsule it began to glow. Strongly and brightly it started to shine. I’d never seen a geocache this big so I decided I was going to take it the I noticed something weird on it it had names next to dates on it. QuilLynn- 1902 Samuel- 1913 Dana- 1940 Sammy- 1953 Dan- 1969 Sarah- 1982 Stephen- 1986 Heather- 2000 Duncan- 2012 Aundra- 2018

I had no idea what this list meant or who these people were, I’d so find out. I started my way back to my car but never made it back that day. Once I began to try and leave the geocache started heating up. It became so I dropped it. I would’ve ran off then and there but I started hearing a voice. “Give me what I want and I’ll give you what you want!” Said the dark and gargled voice. “What do you want?” I said quickly to scared to think of anything else to say. “Your soul!” Whisper little voices so close to my ear I could feel there lips nibbling on my earlobes. I got chills and started panicking breathing heavy. Fast. Hard. Deeply. I thought I was gonna pass out but surprisingly stayed awake. “What do o get in return?” I asked the voice. “Happiness” it shot back quickly. “Ok, have it.”

That’s the half of the story I wrote defiantly better than Sarah’s but it’s whatever hopefully her story can pull through with a W Xoxo, gossip girl "

Dan

"Our story is........... garbage honestly.

What happened to Heather’s amazing 7 deadly sins story line??? We got a stale piece of white bread with no plot or anything with just food jokes??? Sarah did her best yes, but when your best is subpar it’s kinda hard to like win a challenge ya know? "

Heather

Wow first confessional after immunity, we stan a mess. So before anyone can get situated we get our challenge thrown at us and of course it is something I am actually terrible at: WRITING. Hun I cant write for shit. But I came up with a great idea that I thought would really sell the judges being the 7 deadly sins. However there are 10 people so 3 would be the ones who find the geocache and use the items in it to fend off the other 7 who are possessed by the sins. Everyone was like super excited for it, but Sarah didn't use it in the writing, which is upsetting since I really wanted to be sloth and be fended off with like Nyquil or something, but aye that's how shit is. Now I guess its time to get these bitches on my side and find out who to get rid of.

5/24

Duncan

so we lost. Obviously i'm not thrilled about it but I'm not filled with rage or anything like that. If i go home first I'll be a little surprised but I don't think thats going to happen. What I'm kind of hoping to form is a foursome of me dan heather and sammy. I think that would be a very strong group at least for now. As for the longevity of the group? I don't know. I just know I told dan and sammy individually that i want to work with them and heather is someone who dan trusts. Sammy and Dan played lago together so hopefully they'll be on good terms. This way Dan can kind of be seen as the leader of the group and if anyone tries to take a shot at the grouping later down the road it will be his head on the line and not mine. As for who goes home at tribal? I don't think people will vote for Quil or Dana as not to stir the pot. We can't vote out Sarah. It would be mcfucked if we did that to her. So that leaves Stephen, Aundra and Samuel. Obviously I would like to keep Stephen around because he can be an asset to me moving forward. As for Aundra and Samuel? think Aundra is a little enigmatic but i like him. I also like Samuel, he was the last person to add me but we've been talking the most out of all people that are brand new to me. Speaking of being brand new. I kind of want to talk to Heather and Aundra and be like "THIS IS ALL STARS!! WHY Y'ALL ACTING BRAND NEW!?!" because I've talked to them like the bare minimum. Do you know the untucked where that quote was from? God i love untucked. Where was I? Oh yeah. Hopefully they don't send my ass packing first. I haven't thrown out any names, hopefully someone can throw out a name by noon tomorrow. I'll report back later if i have time. xoxo gossip gorl. also woo mitch! im going to try and win this for us since we were robbed in alcatraz <3

Luke

"Hi hello we won immunity and that’s pretty iconic! I like a majority of my tribe but I’m SCARED of if we have to go to tribal because I think I will DIE!

Opinions on my tribe:

Aren: he’s iconic! He’s british and we hit it off right away, I think he’s going to make a great ally for me!

Carson: I love Carson so much ahhhh, I’m excited to see him in this game because we always work really well together. He’s definitely a number for me.

Chris: last time I played with Chris was in Great Lakes when he had a premade to help him get to the end so I can’t wait to get my revenge lol (:

Julia: I love Julia but she always makes it difficult to work with her because she always explodes on somebody and people want her out because of it. I hope she stays a little calm this game because I could use her.

Madison: uggghhhh. I like Madison, I do. She just got me out in BBFurby and I am a LITTLE bitter about but she says she wants to work with me. I believe her like...70% because I think that she’ll take the opportunity to take me out when she can. So I need to get her first.

Ruthie: My Dead Sea queen!! We worked so well together in Dead Sea and she was vital in my plans to win and it worked out for me. I hope she wants to work with me again!

Tim: Tim is one of two people I didn’t know coming into my tribe but he’s super sweet! Our conversations have been nice so far!

Trixie: ugh stupid furby BITCH! i hate this SKANK i want her to CHOKE she will be first boot and we made it no secret in PMs we hate each other >:( HEHE JK i love this bitch can’t wait to work with her again "

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #1

[2018-01-25, 9:51:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Pls trixie [2018-01-25, 9:51:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): ur gonna get another strike [2018-01-25, 9:52:02 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): why… why are u like this "

Dana

"There are NOT enough horses on this Island Cameron!!!!

Ok but fr me, Sarah, and my mother Quail have a Pretty Girls Only Alliance. This is a strategy Quil and I have used before, where we rope in a third girl and work with her, but Sarah is smart af so idk if she'll just like work with us and not ask questions.

Then we all made a winners alliance, which I love. But the only problem is I have a cersh on Sammy... so we can't vote him out NEVER EVER. "

Jay

I haven't really done much but i want to make the weed alliance aka me chris and Julia

Heather

Ok so when I saw Stephen here I was like " Hey maybe we can make amends and work together this season" Then all of a sudden people are targeting him. Also Aundra is on my tribe which if anyone doesn't know I adore Aundra well I do. But he is having wifi problems which sucks. I also heard Samuel's name which I would much rather like to roll with. Ughh too many icons tho why u do this. Right now I seem to be working a lot with Dan and Sammy a bit ( Wow Lago thanks a lot) even though Dan idoled me out but he d=cant do that this game cause of NO FUCKING IDOLS. Speaking of advantages I got me a heavy rock. The heavy rocks power is that I can throw it at someone at tribal and cause them not to vote. I laughed so hard when I got it cause who doesn't want to throw a rock at someone. I am really loving this violent all star season. I hope next time I hunt I get a heavier rock where I can throw it at someone to get them out of the game. hehe

Sam

Wig going okay so far!!

Ruthie

I'm SO glad that I'm on a tribe with so many creative people, i'm super busy until tomorrow and i'm just READY for summer vacation so I'm glad I'm not flailing about to save myself. I've connected a bit with Aren after not talking to him in like two years so that's nice!

Tim

Their story was cute! But you know gorgeous (our story) next to cute. Gorgeous is just gonna devour cute. [Plz tell me yall get this reference lol]"

Our efforts actually won us the comp.. I feel so inspired to write now.

This is the season that I came to play hard and win. These comps bettee get ready because Im giving it my all and not giving up.

Ali

just popping in to say cam & olivia are the DREAM TEAM and I lav them both :)

Sammy

okay so woo i have a lot to talk about kinda...so i usually make an intro saying how i feel about everyone but umm let’s skip that. The cast is super cool but I have to be super careful because I’m playing with the best of the best? Anyways I wasn’t around to help with the story that much but I did go through and edit stuff I saw...so I did something! There were three names going around today and they were Samuel, Aundra, and Stephen. Now Stephen probably thinks that like it was me that is trying to go for him but his name was brought to me? I know we kinda said we wouldn’t target each other this round buttt he usually lies to me so why not. He took me out of the last couple games we were in together and I feel like he has something against me? Idk. So yeah...and last night i did the trails thing and I freaking got caught by a park ranger for touching a rock. I’m so dumb. The whole tribe knows I was searching:/ rip. Anyway I’m trying to get the numbers on my side and Duncan wants an alliance with me him dan and Heather. But also I might be getting myself into a little group with Dana and quill and hopefully sarah? Idk but woo.

Aundra

"So look im not that smart and all im looking for is the Ali to my Jay and right now, seems like thats not possible. So we lost immunity like i said we were going to because it was obvious any who QuilLynn decides to make a winners alliance which im definitely not going to say no to that because thats safety and numbers for a little while BUT im stupid and may have just leaked the whole thing to Duncan who i thought was a winner and isn't. ik he pays very close attention to things (or at least i think so) and this could really bad on my part and to my game hopefully it wont and all is good

QuilLynn is like a really cool person but im on to them i just have to wait till the perfect moment to strike or to get voted off lmfao but im watching them. Stephen is unfortunately the vote tonight which really suck because i wanted to kinda work on our relationship from the last game that we played in. He doesn't really deserve this but it has to happen to everyone . im also thinking of becoming very close to QuilLynn they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer for a reason xoxo, gossip girl"

Carson

"Wow I like most of my tribe?? Everyone is really funny and I actually don’t want to quit on day 2. Who would have thot.

Being on a tribe with Chris stoner AGAIN is terrible, but Luke is also here and that makes up for it. I cannot wait to vote him out for playing me in Alcatraz! "

Stephen

So I have heard absolutely nothing about the vote, then I ask Aundra. So then he messages me saying he’s voting Samuel, but before I can respond he deletes the message. Then claims it was a link he sent to the wrong person. Wow, glad to see he’s gotten less messy since Isle of Skye, but he did win that one so I should never underestimate him. I wouldn’t be surprised if I went home tonigh with all this radio silence, so I’m voting Samuel on the off chance I can survive.

Julia

So like these hoes so boring. I rly h8 Chris stoner, and I’ve been so high idk what’s really been happening I’m floating rly bad rn but idrc

Chris Stoner

"So I’ve been in Denver! Not good timing but it’s all good cause we won the first comp and now I’m home to socialize and compete.

Instantly me and jay clicked. Jays a cool dude. I don’t expect jay to take me far but I do think he knows I will work him.

I’ve also talked a bit with Tim and Aren. Both are cool dudes. I played with Luke and Julia before, both whom were against me. So should be fun to see how all these relationships play a role. Hopefully it’s not too bad. "

5/25

Heather

SO Immunity just ended and I am a little bit nervous about it. I definitely did the most for my tribe so hopefully I can pull out a win. We had some people like NOT EVEN PARTICIPATE. Like we in allstars bitches we gotta not flop ughh. I feel bad for voting out Stephen last round because I wanted to talk to him about flipping the vote, but he didn't get on until I was in a concert. Samuel I don't think participated so I can prob get votes on him. IF WE NEED TO WHICH I FEEL LIKE WE WILL. (Im Cam messaging to confess while I am in the midst of it I love you hehe) I hope this didn't put a target on my back, or do it. welp time to go hunting for shit

Tim

Um this challenge is so rushed and Aren and Julia are dead!!!

Madison, who is arguably one of the most beneficial members of the tribe so far, sat out and Im not sute if were gonna win!

Heather

I swear I am about to rip out my hair. I got the most points in the whole hunt and WE STILL LOST. I GOT FOR OVER HALF MY TRIBES POINT. I AM PISSED AND AM ABOUT TO STRANGLE A BITCH BUT THIS BITCH GOTTA BE SWEET.

5/26

Aundra

"So QuilLynn is my new favorite person i mean they kinda already were but like now it official because the feeling are both ways and i could be happier on other news we lost immunity again and im pretty surprised at how close it came down to right now it votes are between Sarah and Samuel. Sarah's apart of the winners alliance so i doubt they'll want to vote her out which i kinda do because im looking at the bigger picture. winners are very intimidating to me and the more there are in the game the scarier im going to be. this round shouldn't result in me going home if the odds are in my favor. ( also if you couldnt understand my wonderfull story sorry that it had alot of typos) xoxo, gossip girl P.s. I know that its going to be revealed pretty obvious who gossip girl is when these get posted but it so fun to sign off everything with it so your gonna have to live with it. "

Chris Stoner

Nothing much. We keep winning which is nice. Gives me some time to find an alliance. I still feel pretty isolated because of my schedule. It’s hard to talk to ppl. I’m sure I’m the easy boot. So maybe a swap will come soon

Dan

So I feel like I’m personally in a good spot even though we keep losing. I’m on good terms with basically everyone left. Duncan offered me an out of the winners alliance that won’t effect any of my relationships with them. I guess Aundra accidentally leaked the winners alliance to Duncan thinking he was a winner, but Duncan and I talked things out and all is good. I was aligned with him before them and I explained it was a one week kinda thing for me personally to make sure a winner didn’t go home first. So now we have a target of Aundra bc he done goofed haha. Byeeee

Luke

Hi nothing is happening because we won immunity woo! i have some seaglass which is cute so i look forward to using that WOO! Aren made himself a target by not submitting which makes me sad but Julia is basically inactive so I lowkey hope we vote her out first looool

Sammy

ahh okay so I’m super tired and like I’m flying to California and I have been up for over 24 hours...ANYWAY I did what I could in the scavenger hunt and I think some people didn’t really try. I’m just in so many games but like the problem is I forget I apply for them and I’m like uh oh. I think aundra is going home tonight but at the same time it could be me because I haven’t talked to anyone. I’m trying to find a good balance between the way I played in Alcatraz and the way i played in Lago and hopefully make it far!!

Ruthie

So I’m really sad that a few people didn’t participate in the selfie hunt but I am happy that so many people did and even more happy that we’re safe another week! I suspect that we’re going to swap tribes soon though which is kind of frightening!!

Quil

So this is a MESS. Aundra “accidnetally” leaked the winners chat to Duncan. Now I LOVE Aundra but this has made him the target. I’ve been trying my best to help with damage control but people still want to vote him!!! I’m trying to push to get Duncan out because I like just don’t trust him, idk UGH.

Duncan

its round two and im going home because i worked all day and wasn't able to contribute to the challenge at all rip. I trust that Sammy, Samuel, and Dan wouldn't vote me out but if Aundra teams up with the girls and gets them to vote for me I'm donezo. Aundra leaked the winners chat thing and has basically ghosted me all day and I appreciated their story the first round but if they want me out he can go. Dan told me that Quil and Dana were going back and forth about voting out me or Aundra and if I am safe tonight?? Thank god for Dan. That man can do magic. I just want to spend some more time on the island but i don't know if I'm gonna last in these conditions tbh. The game has only just started and to go home now in round two would be like going to orlando but not going to disney world. Like I want to ride space mountain so badly, i dont want to go.

5/27

Duncan

Okay so a lot of shit happened. Firstly Samuel got med evacd from the game this canceling tribal council. Like that’s crazy, I really liked him and wanted to work with him but his dog passed so he might be in a funk and I just hope he’s not depressed and he’s doing okay at this point. Now at the same time this could’ve been a blessing or a curse. If everyone was lying to me and I was going out the door then this was a blessing and I’ve been given a second life. As for if aundra was leaving? Then this is a curse. But who can never be sure besides the hosts I suppose. Then we get told to drop our buffs. Drop these buffs honey? I’ll drop more than just this buff honey! Ohhhhh hooooooonnnneeeeeyyyyyy! So yeah! I’ll talk more about my new tribe later

5/28

Tim

Im really vibing with everyone on my tribe all of them are really neat. The person I've bonded least with is Dana unfortunately.

Carson

HALF OF MY FUCKING TRIBE DIDNT SUBMIT... THE CLOWNS HAVE JUMPED OUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I SPENT THE TIME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON THESE PEOPLE. I JUST WANT TO MERGE SO I CAN PLAY WITH LUKE AND WE CAN COWIN AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

Aundra

"Idk if I already said this but I was probably going to be voted out because of how I told Duncan about the alliance on accident so he and Samuel decide to try to get me out idk if I would’ve stayed if Samuel didnt get med evac because he didn’t vote lmao what a dummy. We had swap which was nice mainly because I got to stay with most of the people in cool with include my allstars bff QuilLynn and Tim now!!! Happy that he and I can work together this time instead of directly against eachother I really like this tribe as a whole really and see good things going for us till we make merge which I feel will be soon do to the amount of people getting evacuated. What’s up with all these allstars being flops? Xoxo, gossip girl "

Jay

I'm so sad that Julia is gone but that's okay bc I have a new alliance. Honestly I made 0 bonds with anyone on my original tribe other than Julia, Chris, and Tim. So once I joined this tribe I immediately went to Sarah and Duncan and said I wanted to work with them. Which I mean, it's half true. I want to work with Duncan far into the game, but Sarah needs to go sooner rather than later. So my thought is I want to take out Madison or Trixie, doesn't matter to me. And then MAYBE try to see if I could take out Sarah the next time. She doesn't have to go that soon but if I can make it happen, I'd like it to happen.

Dan

I’m so pissed I wasted so much time and energy on that stupid ass game for nothing!!! I love life rn, couldn’t be happier (:

5/29

Dana

Nothing is happening. I like Dan more than I thought he would and we made a cute alliance chat.

Tim

Rip Aren also me, Aundra, and Quilynn might become a thing!!

Ruthie

"real life is SO overwhelming right now, i thought the summer would give me more time but it's... quite the opposite these days! As far as the game goes I am SO glad that our tribe is safe and that we don't have to see tribal for another week. I think it was SO lucky too hehe.

I've really connected a lot with Duncan, right now he's the person I would say I'm the closest to! "

Aundra

"Guess who found a hidden item!!? MEEE!! I found the magnifying glass which many already know allows me to see who someone voted for. This will definitely come on handy if there is a suspected rat and I got to find them hopefully this isn’t the only thing I find on my walks away from camp. Watch out cause I got eyes everywhere lol Xoxo, gossip girl "

Quil

the new pokemon games look so cute!!! Also love Aundra and Tim, trying to set up a side alliance with them that can take out the other winners down the line! Honestly if I make merge with the right people, we might be looking at my 3rd win folks!

Luke

My new tribe is actually pretty lit now. We’ve bonded by being the hosts’ favourites and winning two challenges! Same can’t be said for the other flops. I want to make an OG Bernard alliance with Carson and Chris to secure my spot in this game and make sure I’m not voted out before another swap. I need to be reunited with my friends!

5/30

Chris Stoner

So swap happened! I def feel swapfucked. 3/5 ppl on my tribe were on opposite sides as me in past games. The fourth person, heather, probably knows at least one of those 3 and will just go with them for an easy vote. Luckily we won and I did a lot in the challenge so I hope that keeps me around. I need another swap or merge... my days are limited with this tribe.

5/31

Dan

I’m so over these creative challenges. I rarely have time for them which sucks because I’d have time for challenges that are more typical. You know damn well we won’t end up producing anything of substance, Heather’s tribe will submit something oscar worthy, and we’ll be going back to tribal

Ruthie

My tribe... once again has not stated anything yet. I feel like this is gonna be another mess

Sammy

nothing insane is going on but like we have a lip sync challenge and I’m not home yet so this sucks hahah, I’m glad that we are doing good as a tribe and honestly everyone seems to be super kind and nice about everything. So we def have good tribe dynamics. I really enjoy playing with heather this time because in lago we were kind of against each other. I’m hoping we can work more together this game and I also hope me and Carson could work well. Oh and Luke, he puts off really good vibes and I click with him well.

Ruthie

I REALLY hope my tribe gets their act together this time around. Friday is... tomorrow.

Sarah

I hate my tribe they can all die in a pit of fire...that is all

Quil

"https://youtu.be/vis4R2MfzNA xoxo"

6/1

Duncan

Umm so we tribe swapped and MY TRIBE SUCCS EGGS!! it’s me and Sarah with jay, ruthie, trixie, and Madison. Ironically despite how inactive our tribe is we have the most members at this point in time. Julia got med evacd after the reward challenge and after the last immunity challenge, which we did not even attempt to complete, we learned the other tribe had forfeited the challenge and decided to have their tribal that night. We’re blessed as fuck to be ahead of the game right now but luck can’t last forever. We have had three days to do this movie trailer challenge but no one is ever on. I threw a while fucking idea and script out there but nothing ever came of it. If I go home because of my tribe’s inability to come together I’m gonna have a bitch fit

Sammy

literally like i keep suggesting things or asking questions and nobody responds I’m so annoyed. The only one that even responds to me some is heather...i really hope we win the challenge or i could be going home:/

Ruthie

So Madison and I just did the whole trailer by ourselves and Madison is doing 95% of the work, my lines took less than 5 minutes to film what the heck is the rest of our tribe doing

Tim

It appears as if QuilLynn has gone inactive and our tribe isn't going to submit which is sad! Just send me to final 3 tbh. Also our trailer had a cute concept ngl.

Olivia

REMEMBER THIS DAY AS THE DAY QUIL TURNED IN THE VIDEO LITERALLY 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE DEADLINE AND RIGHT BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM THE TRIBE BC THEY DIDNT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION

Carson

Heather is the proud owner of my wig whew

Aundra

"Guess who isn't going to tribal for the first time since the game started!!?? MEEE finally i dont have to try and vote out someone and make sure that im safe from getting voted. tbh i really like my tribe and would've hated to have to vote someone off i would really enjoying playing with all of them once we make merge if there are people left in the game to make merge with. these people are being such flops and not submitting confessional or voting its almost like what was the point of saying yes to playing the game. if only we had some real players in the game so i could be stressed and depressed / xoxo, gossip girl P.s. i know im not a girl but i can understand why someone would sign off with it its fun typing xoxo it makes me feeling like i run something lmaoo"

6/2

Stoner

. I’ve never gone to tribal yet this game and I want to keep it like that. I have a feeling the second I go to tribal I’m gone. Unless I merge. If I make merge I’ll have some more options and places to run and hide. I’ve tried talking to people and forming bonds but it’s just not working.

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #2

[2018-01-31, 5:16:08 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Hello you have not yet made a confessional this round! Pls do that!

[2018-01-31, 5:17:33 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry the link isn’t working for me

[2018-01-31, 5:17:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Sure jan

[2018-01-31, 5:18:19 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry but something really bad is about to happen and there’s nothing i can do to stop it

[2018-01-31, 5:18:41 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): can u not [2018-01-31, 5:18:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Can u just make a damn confessional

Heather

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXmXsntB4RM

This was earlier BUT EVERYONE STEPPED UP AND WE WON THAT SHIT HEHEHE"

Luke

AW THE MOVIE TRAILER CHALLENGE WAS SO CUTE IT WAS SO FUN SEEING OUR TRAILER AND WE ALL INPUTTED SO IT WAS ICONIC! I love the Bernard tribe we work really well together and have won every challenge thus far. The other tribes are messy and have big players on them so it’s going to be interesting to see who leaves tonight. Maybe a winner? That’d be shookening. Although I do like this tribe I’d love a swap or something, there’s never much wiggle room on a tribe as small as this but for now I’m content. Still need to work on that Carson/Chris/Luke alliance. Nothing much else to update on. Happy pride! ^.^

Dan

We won woo love life no one talks to me

Carson

We surprisingly killed that challenge after waiting until the last possible minute to start it. I’ve been really impressed with how my tribes stepped up after the reward fiasco a few rounds ago. It’s definitely nice not having to go to tribal, so not swapping would be best for me. I’m still tight with luke and plan on being so for the rest of the game. We’ve already talked about hooking up with the other great lakers come merge. After that, world domination!

Jay

I'm getting voted out it was fun while it lasted i guess :/

6/5

Sammy

woo okay so my tribe is doing so good and I’m so happy because if we lose immunity i know that me and heather don’t have the numbers....I’m hoping i make it to atleast jury. Alsooo i just did my maze and it went really well. Yayyyy, okay yes.

6/6

Carson

"So... is no one trying at these challenges? I'm really shocked that I'm actually dominating every single one of these. I normally do well in challenges, but I've performed better than i ever have before. Its definitely because i'm worried about my place on this tribe. Being that we havent gone to tribal yet, there aren't solidified alliances. I've also had no one start a conversation with me. The conversations I've started with people have never lead to any sort of alliance building either. It makes me believe that I could try to be blindsided because I'm the strongest in challenges and that the merge is on the horizon. I wouldn't put it past these people honestly. I know I have luke in my corner, but stoner is a huge wildcard to me, especially since he's both saved me and burned me in the past. We had a weird relationship in Alcatraz, and it makes me hesitant to trust him in this game.

Also I asked Luke the round where he got caught searching if he wanted to work together with me to find the idol. His response was yes, however nothing has transpired from it. Ive sent him my search route once, but he never reciprocated by telling me the routes he's done since he went many times before I even tried. He probably already has it honestly, which is fine, I just wish he would be honest with me about it."

Tim

Woo we won!!! I CAN RELAX

Sarah

I hate hate my tribe pt 4

Quil

So im in a good spot still, I'm literally queen of this series, but trixies tribe lost again and she's probably going home and I swear i'm going to be so pissed if i lose a jury vote rn because of that fatass tribe of rejects! (idk who is on it tbh but still!!!)

Heather

WOO Another immunity and reward. We stan the Bernard tribe. Even tho Carson basically won the flash game. King of flash games. I kinda hope another swap is happening soon but at the same time our tribe is doing fine with challenges soo hehe.

Luke

wow hello i forgot about this omg.... we won immunity and reward again that's so amazing! Bernard tribe has been killing it but it's been boring, i need a change of scenery. i need to meet up with my friends again and kill this game and WIN i really want to fucking win oh my lord please let me win

Madison

IT's boring af! I want to pick this shit up! Tribals have been easy! I want to be SPOOKED! Put me on a tribe with people that hate me or something I want DRAMA.

In addition to my last confession, I'd love for someone to call me a fake feminist right about now. Do you think Sarah will since we're voting her out?

6/7

Dan

"Literally so shocked we won. I’m not surprised I did well, but like I was so worried others wouldn’t turn it out. I thought we were getting a one way ticket to tribal, but I guess my tribe is a little more iconic than I thought.

I might actually try to talk to people today???? Idk haha I’m just so pretty and can’t be bothered"

Duncan

Like I said! Our tribe succcccs really bad!! Madison and I and ruthie get to choose which of Sarah and trixie go home. Either way is going to be pissing someone off. Hopefully we make the right decision because I feel a swap coming on

Tim

Fuck my game with this swap huh.

Aundra

"Feet don’t fail me now take me to the finish line I feel so alone on this Thursday thanks to lady O and Cam I think I need wine. ANOTHER SWAPP WHYYYY my tribe was like the best people ever and we worked very well together now I’m with a group of people I’ve never meet which means I have to sit around and talk to them all to get to know them. This is horrible to me 1) I’m a lunatic and going crazy because I’m hella overwhelmed over the last day of school 2) I don’t really want to work with all these people and will more than likely be an outsider because I know NOBODY on this tribe 3) the only person I think I might know looks like Miranda Cosgrove and she’s allegedly super great at everything and multitalented soon to be governor of some state in America. I literally can not. IM SEPARATED FROM MY NEW GAME BFF QUILLYNN we haven’t really talked in awhile but when your tribe is safe you don’t really have to talk plus we’ve all been kinda busy but that’s besides the fact they err my ride or die along Tim IM AWAY FROM MY BFF TEEM I pretty sure Cam and Olivia hate me but you know what they say the devil can work but Normani works harder Xoxo gossip goat "

Dan

Mcscuse me???? Under construction? You know my ass is Charlie Day-ing this shit searching the blog for things. I'm officially crackdt.

6/10

Tim

Now I now more about Maine than myself. Lmao but we won woo!!

Quil

Just another day of me being the most iconic winner! Kinda sad Sarah got taken out but, at the same time its one step closer to my 3rd win!

Aundra

"So we’re voting Stoner out my favorite person on my tribe tbh i vibe with him and he’s cool the rest of these people ain’t all that and a bag a chips. I have to sit around and lie to him and say Duncan is the vote when ik that he’s the vote which makes me feel horrible because being blindsided is never fun I lowkey hope I’m getting blindsubwvaus the cast is basically full of the the people that could never and winners and the winner seem over it they’re trash in a way like come on people this is an allstar season and you sit around like your here just to be here at least act like you signed up to play and weren’t forced that’s really all I got to say so here’s to me bein a bad friend and to me possibly getting voted out! Xoxo gossip goat"

Luke

"My new tribe was a disaster at first but now everybody wants a bite of this english muffin :~)

I have Dan I have Trixie I have Madison and Duncan as a threeway

Ugh my mind"

Duncan

I don’t know what’s happening. It’s been a stressful week irl and idk why I’m playing a game rn. I’m probably going home but I’ve heard stoner as the vote so that’s what I did. If I die hopefully my daughter Madison thrives

Heather

Wooo Tim and I did that kahoot. I thought a tribe swap would mean I would lose for the tribe tbh.

Dan

This vote seemed way too easy tbh. Did I want a comeback story arc with Stoner? I mean kinda? But like he’s also straight and it’s pride month so he gotta get the boot sis. This all could be an elaborate scheme to get me out but in all reality it’s a waste bc I’m so busy in my real life that I pay an ounce of attention to this. (To clarify I do care about this game I just had a super busy weekend full of social events and you know that this boy doesn’t ever have a social life so he had to take advantage of it!!!!)

Ruthie

"I'm SO glad that the people on my tribe are good at challenges! I hope I can do something with the next one so I can show that I'm useful and not just taking up space on the beach bahah!

I have no idea what will happen tonight but we'll see! I don't think that there will be another swap anytime soon. "

6/11

Heather

We most certainly do not stan this upcoming one world. No we most certainly do not.

Dan

I love rigging my random.org so Dana is safe. Gotta look out for my winners after Sarah's messy ass left haha. But seriously random.org picked her. I think Heather and Tim will be a little annoyed that I didn't pick someone from Lago, but if they ask I literally have screenshot proof that I randomized it to be fair with a time stamp so like they can calm down. And if one of them goes, oh well??? I really hope merge is next. I feel like this game is going by so quickly, I am forever thankful for that.

Aundra

"A tribal twist that I really like but both robes are gonna to tribal I think tonight or tomorrow idk I haven’t been paying attention and am more of a mess than normal I really wish I was working with my peeps and not with these randos that are probably going to vote me out which sucks but hopefully I’ll make jury given that we get to go to tribal second it’s all about the motion of the ocean Xoxo gossip goat "

6/12

Tim

Damn it I thought I had a good score in immunity but I lost :////. Congrats Carson and Dan i guess lol but comp beasts can choke (in the game that is). Dana and uhhh someone else is safe so hsbdd. Yeah so the plan is to stick with Quil, Dana, and Carson so ya!

Quil

Idk if im going home or not. Dan is dead to me for not giving me immunity!!! Ruthie better be leaving or yikes

Tim

So it looks like Ruth is dying because of this ugly twist!!! But hey atleast its not someone active.

Luke

"YES YES YES CARSON CAME THROUGH FOR ME AND HE GAVE ME IMMUNITY I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY. This just proves that the relationships I'm making in this game are working to my benefit and are keeping me safe and I could not be happier right now. This tribal council is a difficult one. I like everybody on my tribe but I said I'd work with Madison and Duncan, I said I'd work with Dan, I said I'd work with Trixie which leaves Aundra as really my only option to vote. It sucks because I like Aundra a lot but they don't really talk to me or anybody and it's getting to the point where if you don't try, you gotta go...

I'm expecting a merge after this tribal council because we'll be at 11 (I think ) which is perfect for a merge. I can meet up with Quil, Trixie and Dana, I can get back with Carson and also utilise my relationship with Madison/Duncan. I think I'm gonna make it far providing I play this game smart WOOOO O"

Sammy

ugg okay so I’m on a tribe with everyone that i like so making this decision is gonna be so hard:/ I’ve heard Ruthie tho imso im just gonna go with it....

Madison

"Me: throws immunity

Also me: feels like everyone is sketchy and that I’m probably going home this week.

Am I mad? Not particularly. "

Aundra

"Guess who’s probably going home! Me!! NOBODIES saying anything to me about a vote everyone is “lost” and i think I’m voting Trixie no need to keep dead wieght on our tribe and if these people vote me out they’re idiots complete dummy’s for keeping people that won’t work with them and can’t contribute to the tribe stupid people do stupid things Xoxo gossip goat"

6/13

Tim

I MADE MERGE WOOOO

6/14

Luke

"Hello well all of the conversations about this game spicing up at merge were true because this cast is fucking CRACKEDT and I have no idea what's going on. I'm in an alliance with Duncan, Madison and Dan... Quillynn, Trixie and Dana expect me to vote with them so I'm kinda stuck between two threesomes but Dan wants to talk to me privately in a few about something and I think it's about the same thing I wanna talk to him about. It's about us being STUCK because we're expected to vote a certain. All I know is my name hasn't been brought up so that's good.

After this round, depending on which way to go I want to work with the group I don't betray, Dan and Carson. I think it'd be smart of me. I just need to talk with Dan before we decide what's going on. Will keep you posted. "

Duncan

I might go home because Tim has the fattest mouth on the block. I was hoping for some black guy magic but I just don’t think it’s in the cards. I think one of us will go home and do I know why he chooses the karringtons over the rest of us? No. Also I haven’t really done shit strategically this game and have barely been around socially idk how I’m stil here. Over jay Sarah stoner and aundra? I don’t know how he does it. Maybe if I do nothing in every game I’ll be guaranteed merge. I just don’t get why people are coming after me. You’re not going to like hearing it but sometimes I forget I’m in this game. I’m just now getting my feet game wise but apparently I can’t go in the kiddy look without enduring a shark attack

Dan

Honestly I’m really happy that my name wasn’t thrown around this vote it’s a hot ass mess and I’m aligned with too many people

Heather

"This round is a mess. Heres what happened Madison wanted Isle of Skye Alliance Her me and Tim make said alliance I get busy and cant message and only do 12 stones for immunity thinking imma lose I win cuz everyones dead Quil wants to gun for Duncan Madison and I wanna gun for Quil Tim does what he always does in games and snakes Quil confronts me I lie I tell Duncan we should gun for Tim NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHO THEY VOTING WJDJSHD"

Carson

God this round was kind of a hot mess for me. So my main concern going into the merge is not being a target. I knew coming into the merge people would see me as a threat based on my performance in challenges. So my first order of business was to throw the immunity challenge since I would still be among other challenge threats (luke and dan) if I don’t win. Next, I made sure I was still good with my alliance of quil, Dana, and Tim. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s best for me to continue with that alliance. So I went ahead and made a side alliance with Duncan. I view him as a HUGE threat to win, but i feel better going to the end with him knowing I can beat him in immunity challenges. My old alliance is full of wildcards. So at this point, I’m pretty much aligned with everyone, which is both terrifying and exciting. I have been on tribes with Sammy and heather for the past few rounds. Luke and I are super close. I have a new alliance with Duncan that was formed to redeem ourselves from Alcatraz. Dan and Madison are allies of Luke and Duncan respectively, so I need to work on my social connection with them bc jury management. I’m starting to see a path to the finals, but more on that next round. I need to go run errands!!

Madison

Do I lowkey hope they flipped the vote on me and I go? yes. at least then someone will have made a move!!

6/15

Sammy

okay so so so I’m at camp and i feel like I’m missin so much stuff happening in the game. But I’m with quill and Dana....however Carson and Duncan want to work with me. BUT Duncan and Quill are against each other-_- why does this always happen to me.....

6/16

Duncan

I think it’s bananas that Tim went home. Well, not really, he broke peoples trust within the first round of merge. You can’t do that. I feel like no one is really playing the game rn besides like Madison and I love her but if I still have a shot to win, even though I’ve done retroactively nothing in this game, I’m still going to go for the W. So if I don’t go home tonight, expect me to start my cocaine drug abuse problem that I had in Alcatraz. Last time I was here for Mitch, this time im here for me. So once I start being active, it’s all over

Madison

"OKAY TEA. Trixie is literally voting however I’m voting bc she’s gonna be gone I’m CACKLING I LITERALLY HAVE A DOUBLE VOTE! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!

Idk who I want gone. If I go that’s cute too like it’s jury who cares but this is hilarious. Idols make me a little nervy but idk. "

Dan

"I'm so yikes over this vote rn. Like I knew I was aligning myself all over the place, but I wasn't expecting to have to pick a side. Quil basically confirmed today to Luke that votes would be public tonight, which makes this even worse bc I have to own my shit. I'm hoping that Madison doesn't freak the fuck out when she realizes she is really on the bottom. This is what she gets for Mongolia tbh. I turned over a new leaf with her for Lago and now it's my turn to snake. I'm gonna tell her Duncan is going at like 9:50 tonight if she has some advantage or something cute to save him, but like I just also feel like shit???

I don't especially trust Quil, but I need her in front of me bc she'll always be a bigger threat. I know I need to flip on her eventually, but with Quil gone, the drama is gone, the target is gone, and I'm a sitting duck.

Also peep the white gays killing all the POCs, I'm literally disgusted. "

Madison

WHEW okay so I knew the vote was going to flip obviously I’m not an idiot. so this is either going to work and make it seem like I’m on the bottom OR it’s gonna make them all flip and vote me out next round and that works too so. woohoo

6/17

Olivia

Dan searched the trails and found 1/3 idol. Luke searched at practically the same time but like with a 30 second delay. Both went down the EXACT same path. Luke lost the idol by like 20 seconds it was wild.

6/20

Dan

"I just scrolled 8 miles through the chat to find this yikes.

Honestly like if I go home this round it’s cool and whatever but I just feel like I’m great spot??? Luke showing his cards last week put the target on his back. Of fucking course he had to win immunity bc I didn’t have time to play Casanova, but like I feel like Sammy can go. I’m in 2 strong groups of three and Dana is my number one. I’m just proud I’m getting at least 7th in an all stars season where I’m coming in as a winner. "

6/21

Dan

"Wow so uh I got played huh. That’s what I get for being confident, thanks Demi!!! I just wish that someone clued me in on the Quillynn vote. Like yes I had been working with her, yes she was a big threat, but yes I would have gladly voted her ass out. She would have easily won if she got to the end just bc she’s a 2 time winner.

I did message Heather and Luke and said I would have gone along with the plan if I had known about it so hopefully they believe me bc that’s the honest truth. I really need to do some damage control with Sammy as well. The only reason I voted him was because no one gave me another alternative. I’m definitely not gonna win this game ugh. But again I’m happy that I made at least top 6 in an all stars game coming in as a winner. "

6/24

Dan

"Oh hey it’s me, Lago Dan, here to make an immunity run bc like I feel like I would have been next. I wouldn’t be surprised at all of Dana/Trixie/Luke team up against me and Sammy but also I really want to hope that Luke and Dana will go with the winners to the end mentality. I just realistically don’t see a winner winning if it’s not 3 winners at the end. The jury is fucking bitter bc it’s an all stars season and their entitled asses are just gonna have to get over it.

Realistically I don’t see me having many big moves on my resume besides the Heather vote last round. I think Heather needed to go because she really called the shots at the live Tribal with her vote and she’s someone that is likebale to the jury. This game I tried to get all the lago people out because none of them want me at the end again. The next to go in theory is sammy but I think I might try to give Trixie the boot tbh. Sammy is someone who could win final immunity, but let’s be real the kid lives at camp rn or some shit so maybe he won’t even show up again.

I really wanted to try to have a game with a bit more complexity than my first game but I think I ended up playing pretty similarly. This time I tried to hold off before winning comps and now look at me I’m slaying. But socially I think I faultered a few times in this game and I’m ready to face that bitter af jury"

6/27

Dan

This could very well be my last night in the game and it's super bittersweet. I hate that it's coming down to this fricken comp. I can't figure some things out because some things never got posted on the blog.... *EYES CAMERON AND OLIVIA FROM ACROSS THE ROOM* but anywho, Dana isn't giving me a straight answer about what's going on with everything and I just wanna die. Like Sammy told me he didn't do the comp, which is cool and will self vote to force the tie and then throw fire making, so like now that this confessional has taken a turn for the better I think I'm good (: hehehehehehheehhehehehee. I love being a two time winner (hopefully)

#donttaketherocks

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viralhottopics · 8 years ago

Text

I Gave Up Added Sugar For A Month And This Is What Happened

In our monthly series, GIVING UP, newsroom staffers deprive themselves of a beloved habit and track how it went. In March, Lifestyle Editor Suzy Strutner, 26, gave up added sugar.

Suzy Strutner

You could say I was in love with sugar.

What are you giving up?Im giving up added sugar (which is not the same as naturally occurring sugar, mind you) for Lent.

What made you decide to give it up? I love sugar in a way that sometimes makes me feel like its ruling me instead of the other way around. When a habit starts invading my life like when I miss out on an hour of sleep because I needa fresh-baked midnight cookie or cant get through the day without spending $6 on frozen yogurt I know its one I need to kick. Plus, I tried to give up sugar last year and failed without realizing why, so I wanted to prove I could do it, and do my body a favor at the same time.

How did your friends and family react? People either 1) tell me theyre impressed by my efforts (I started an email newsletter with updates on how the challenge is going), 2) ask if Im STILL not eating sugar, then inquire when Ill be available for dessert dates again,or 3) tell me theyve given up sugar too! Thats my favorite reaction, for sure. Two of my friends ditched sugar last month because I was doing it, which makes me feel like a positive influence.

Suzy Strutner

Did you do any research before you started?Yes, because Ididnt do enough research last yearand wanted to make sure I gave up added sugarcorrectly this time around. My colleagues and I have written a number of articlesabout added sugar over the years, so by now I know that added sugar is never, ever a good thing for your brain or body. Thats major motivation.

Did you slip up? Not yet! Well, it depends on how technical you get. Added sugar is in all kinds of foods, from store-bought bread to mayonnaise to pasta sauce. Ive avoided buying those items for myself, but I havent stopped eating at restaurants. Im sure theres been sugar snuck into a few dishes there. Ive also been eating dried fruit and other forms of naturally occurring sugar, which I learned is not entirely acceptedin the anti-sugar community.

Suzy Strutner

Yup, that cinnamon-raisin bagel has sugar in it, too.

When did you first feel deprived? Two days in, when a giant sundae appeared on the table at my moms birthday dinner.It was tough not to deem it a special occasion and cave in.Most of the time, though, this challenge has been strangely easy. Ive found enough other treats to look forward to like nut butters, banana bites and a granola-dark-chocolate-date-coconut melange that I concoct myself to guarantee sugar-freeness which taste indulgent enough to do the trick. I cant say I havent daydreamed about deep-dish cookie pie, though.

Suzy Strutner

What snack time looks like when you’re eating added sugar.

Suzy Strutner

What snack time looks like when you’re not eating added sugar.

Any awkward social encounters?Im afraid of being a buzzkill when I dont indulge at group get-togethers.Today at lunch, my colleagues didnt order dessert because I wouldnt be sharing it with them. It was a nice sentiment, but I felt like I was holding them back from sugary fun!Another time, at Taco Tuesday with some new friends, I felt awkward passing up margaritas in favor of a tequila soda. (This is NOT a real hardship, I am aware. But still.) I was pleasantly surprised, though, when my friends noticed the move and changed their orders to sugar-free drinks, too.

Notice any changes to your mood?I still get cranky when Im craving something sweet, but my new naturally sweet treats usually do the trick. Overall, I feel like a more capable human. I tend to doubt my level of discipline, but this challenge has shown me I can do anything even deny myself of favorite sugary snacks if I decide to commit.

Changes to your body? I used to sometimes feel sick after eating too much sugar, especially if I mixed it with alcohol. Now, I dont need to worry about my heart racing from a bunch of cookie dough. However, the lack of added sugar has caused me to start indulging in other unhealthy foods like pizza and fries more often, so I cant say I look or feel more fit.

Changes to your productivity? Yes, majorly. I struggle with prioritizing activities and would often spend a night baking sugary goods or venturing off to get ice cream instead ofpracticing healthierself-care habitslike calling a friend or going to yoga. Now that I dont have to track down my sugar fix every day,I have one less chore to complete and therefore feel less guilty about how I spend my time.

Suzy Strutner

Typical after-work activity for a sugar fiend: Bake cookies with different types of sugar, and label them to see which turns out best.

Changes to your relationships? Surprisingly,yes.Posting on social media about the challenge has gotten me in touch with friends I wouldnt talk to as often otherwise.One friend, for example, read my newsletter and sent me amazing sugar-free recipe recommendations. And my former roommate, who now lives in Germany, gave up added sugar too. We text about how its going on two different continents.

Im also more present in-person: During our weekly hangouts, my sister and I used to fight the chaotic L.A.traffic for our favorite frozen yogurt. Now, we sit and drink wine. Maybe wine isnt any better than froyo, but quality time out of traffic certainly is. And at parties, I can focus more on humans because Im not beelining to the snack table. These small changes truly result in more quality conversation!

What does an expert say about doing this? Is there any benefit? Theres no question that quitting added sugar could extend your life, prevent dementia, curb anxietyanddecrease risks of anxiety and heart disease, all while making you a more vibrant personoverall. No expert everpromotes the consumption of added sugar, so eliminating it can only help your body.

Would you do it again? Yes. This is a simplification of my life and diet that Id like to continue, so Im thinking of making it a weekday habit.If not, Ill definitely be back for more next year!

Previously: Heres What Happened When I Gave Up Complaining For A Month