#also i am still bad at writing about ragyo

[nonsensical-stars]

“A skyscraper built within your mind will never fall”

[TW: R**e, Sexual Assault]

Satsuki. Satsuki.

Where do I even begin with this analysis.

I could rant all day long about how inspiring Satsuki and this entire statement is.

In short, this is what the phrase means: Her ambition was so much stronger than the obstacles she faced throughout her life. Now, let’s take a more detailed look at how this ties in with the abuse she has practically been dealing with ever since she was five. As we all sadly know, Ragyo is a very sick-minded individual who gets off on having complete control over people and making things happen that are against their will. She is obsessed with power. At its tamest, this obsession is shown through her position (CEO of a bestselling clothing company that, unbeknowst to the customers, produces clothing infested with an alien parasite that will slowly consume its wearer). At its heaviest, it extends to sexually abusing her daughter, Satsuki. Ragyo very deliberately hurts Satsuki, humiliates her, makes her do things against her will, she generally tries to make her as “weak” and uncomfortable as she possibly can - bc she’s SICK and gets a kick out of satsuki’s discomfort >:( But what I’m trying to say is; even throughout that, Satsuki’s anger, her ambition, her determination was stronger.

Ragyo thinks she is controlling Satsuki, but she is gravely mistaken. Right behind her back, Satsuki orchestrated an entire assassination and Ragyo didn’t suspect it for a second.

Satsuki, with all of her calculated words and actions, made Ragyo believe that she is fully on her side - while secretly raising an army to defeat her. She had built a skyscraper for herself within her mind, and an academy in reality. Satsuki controlled everything; she got to determine who could come in and who couldn’t, what happens and when, and most importantly...

Satsuki had the power and control to make Ragyo believe whatever SHE wanted her to believe.

And that is why, ultimately, Satsuki always had the upper hand.

Ragyo controlled her body, but she could never control her mind. And I believe that is one key factor that pulled Satsuki through the abuse every time. Because she knew that no matter what happens, Ragyo can never truly control her. Despite how Ragyo has tried to take away her power, how she bereaved her of her dignity and bodily autonomy, Satsuki was never powerless. She had so much power within her resolve, an aspect of herself that remained unscathed by Ragyo’s influence. This unscathed element Satsuki always held onto, is used metaphorically as a skyscraper. Ultimately, what she says, comes down to this: You may use me, humiliate me, and beat me down, but you will never own me.  I am my own person, I am in full control of who I am, what I stand for, and what I think. Nothing and no one will ever cloud my mind, not even you. Nothing will ever steer me off my path, and ever distract me from my one and only goal; killing you. 

[marshmallowgoop]

Goop Plays Kill la Kill the Game: IF (Ryuko Episodes 5-8)

It’s been a while.

Episode 5

Writing about these episodes has been a struggle. I wouldn’t be able to narrow down a single reason for my eight-month hiatus from IF’s story mode, but I can say that it’s difficult to talk about content that is overwhelmingly—and disappointingly—a rehash of scenes I’d already watched before.

Ryuko’s fifth episode especially feels like a game of “spot the difference.” Segments of Satsuki’s story are repeated with astonishingly minor changes, and while this has been an issue with earlier Ryuko episodes (1 and 3), by episode 5, it’s starting to feel very tedious.

I won’t deny that the slight alterations are charming—they very much are! Mako’s contribution to Ryuko and Senketsu’s fight against Nui, for example, is adorable:

Mako: My dad says, “When you’re outnumbered, get more weapons!” An eye for an eye, a blade for a blade!

However, such minimal additions feel like a dishearteningly poor use of the player’s time. If I hadn’t already questioned it before, these chapters really made me question the choice of a two-campaign story mode. 

It’s not that I don’t see the appeal of such a structure; there’s something fun in telling one side of a story and then changing the perception of that story by telling another side of it. Plus, with IF in particular, I think there was a goal—at least to some extent—of confounding players with Satsuki’s ending. I could see Ryuko’s campaign as a means of making the plot more interactive, which is of course fitting for a video game. By not spelling everything out right away, players are encouraged to unravel the mystery and put the pieces together. 

Satsuki: I had a bad dream....

But... there’s just too much overlap for me to feel that the two-campaign structure was the most effective storytelling decision. The choice perhaps makes more sense from a gaming standpoint; it’s easier to focus on one playable character rather than jump around between two. But I don’t know—perhaps it could have been fun to give players a feel for more of this game’s roster all at once. Maybe we could have played as the Elite Four or Ragyo or Nui, too.

Because from a story standpoint? One major letdown of Ryuko’s fifth episode is that actually fighting Nui completely lacks the power that the cutscene in Satsuki’s campaign has.

Sure, that scene certainly doesn’t have the impact of similar moments in the anime (episodes 18 and 21/22), but you can’t really expect it to, and it works well within the context of IF. Ryuko and Senketsu haven’t been through as much together, but Ryuko still keeps her temper under control to prevent a repeat of hurting Senketsu from it again, they burst into battle with “Before my body is dry” playing, and though the animations in the game can be stiff and limited, it’s still sweet. 

Ryuko: Won’t know ‘til I try! So let’s do this!

They sparkle! Their hearts are as one! They’re uniting to take down this threat.

But in Ryuko’s story? You just fight the fight. You miss out on Ryuko shit-talking Nui, you miss out on the song (seriously, was it just the struggling Steam port, or does “Before my body is dry” really not play during the fight?), and most importantly, the emotion I get from the cutscene is largely lost.

Don’t get me wrong—skipping a repetitive scene is appreciated. But at the same time, the omission makes me long for a single story mode. Players could have fought Nui with “Before my body is dry” playing and watched the Satsuki-story cutscene upon victory. That bit of “Satsuki’s” story already focuses so much on Ryuko that in some ways, it honestly feels more “Ryuko” than Ryuko’s story! Why not just have a unified story mode?

Ryuko’s episodes shine when they significantly differ from what players already witnessed in Satsuki’s campaign. The very beginning of episode 5 is charming because seeing Ryuko just wanting to smash things is legitimately amusing.

Ryuko: Oh! So, I just gotta smack ‘em all in the head.

But this could have easily fit into a single story that switched perspectives. And in fact, moving into episode 6...

Episode 6

It’s almost humorous that Satsuki’s story has purposeful omissions to “justify” the existence of Ryuko’s campaign. I am astounded at how Mako literally does not exist in the Satsuki equivalent of Ryuko’s sixth episode:

Seriously, what? This reminds me of Kingdom Hearts jokes about how it’s rude of Disney movies to totally edit out Sora, Donald, and Goofy.

But jokes aside, the Kingdom Hearts comparison actually has some real weight in regards to IF. In Kingdom Hearts, the Disney worlds are—at least, in my opinion—the most fun and engaging when they do more than simply rehash the films they’re based on with Sora, Donald, and Goofy added. In the same way, Ryuko’s campaign in IF is the most fun and engaging when it does more than simply rehash Satsuki’s campaign with Mako added.

And why was Mako even literally edited out of Satsuki’s cutscenes in the first place? It’s really a bigger discussion, but this choice only adds to my frustrations with how Kill la Kill handles Mako’s character. I’ve already written about my beef with the anime in that regard, but IF is even worse. Mako’s so inconsequential to the story (at least thus far) that she can be totally cut out and have absolutely nothing change. For goodness’ sake, she sleeps for a good chunk of her screentime!

Which... is actually an issue I have with the Grand Summoners crossover game, too....

Ryuko: She’s [Mako’s] already asleep!

But in any case, Mako’s presence in the IF story seems to be purely because she’s a popular character. It’s disappointing to me that Kazuki Nakashima couldn’t find more things for her to do.

And it’s sad that she’s literally edited out of Satsuki’s scenes. I really cannot get over that. What the what.

More to the actual content of Ryuko’s sixth episode, the first part is just old hash browns (plus Mako), but the second part is much more intriguing. I find it curious that Senketsu knows right away what the Primordial Life Fiber is, but Ryuko doesn’t. Does he have a connection with it that Ryuko lacks because her Life Fibers haven’t been awoken yet?

Senketsu: That... is what’s known as the Primordial Life Fiber.

Also, same, Mako, same. I also call Nui and Ragyo’s Primordial Life Fiber-y attacks in this game “meatballs.”

Mako: Ooooh! It looks like a big ol’ meatball!

I feel like my previous write-ups on IF already express a lot of what I could say regarding this episode, but I will again reiterate that the character interactions are charming. It’s nice to hear Ryuko laugh (even if in a taunting way), and the Elite Four are absolutely adorable.

Ryuko: Ha! Whatever. I’d like to see you try!

Houka: Oh, my God. Do they have to be so loud? Our enemies can hear us from a mile away.

And since this is a video game and all, in regards to the one fight in episode 6, it’s a bit of a pain; battling multiple enemies doesn’t make for the most enjoyable experience because of the camera and inability to properly lock on to targets. But IF excels in the little details. The dialogue when other characters join you for the fight is as amusing as always. 

There really should be subtitles, though. It’s super poor accessibility.

Episode 6 also briefly questions the nature of the world. Earlier episodes of Ryuko’s campaign had Senketsu—and Nui—note that something felt off about time. Here, Senketsu outright says that time in the Fiber Palace is “seems unstable,” and interestingly, the camera focuses on Ryuko when he wonders if it’s the location or “something else” that’s causing the abnormality.

Senketsu: The flow of time here seems unstable. Is this place causing it to happen...? Or... is something else triggering it....

It’s not in this episode, but given that Ragyo later describes Ryuko as “the singularity,” perhaps she is the one messing up the world.

I think Ryuko sums up my thoughts, though.

Ryuko: I don’t get what’s goin’ on.

Of course, probably the most notable aspect of episode 6 is the ending, and while I could see right through what was happening, I have to admit that Ryuko going at Mako with the Scissor Blades is a stellar finish.

Ryuko: I still gotta get revenge for my dad.

Senketsu: What are you doing, Ryuko?!

Episode 7

However...

Ryuko: Oh, blow it out yer ass... Nui Harime!

I got some issues with this.

For those who have been Kill la Kill-ing for as long as I have, you might remember that there was a flood of Mako-is-Nui theories immediately after the show’s finale. Amusingly, character designer Sushio outright denied the idea in a Tweet, and a Studio Trigger panel at Anime Expo 2014 (6th post from the top) also shot the notion down.

aranbeik: is it [the Mako-is-Nui theory] true????

Sushio: It is no relationship at all

But fake Makos actually ain’t absent from Kill la Kill. In the official Drama CDs that came packaged with Japanese releases of the anime, there are two instances of fake Makos. The first happens in CD 1, where Maiko Ogure impersonates Mako for a huge portion of the runtime. The second happens in CD 4, where—“funnily” enough—Nui herself impersonates Mako after Ryuko has her heart brutally ripped out of her chest by her own mother.

And here’s my issue with IF’s portrayal: in both of these Drama CD cases, Ryuko is fooled. Mako isn’t Mako for tons of the first CD, and Ryuko doesn’t notice. And, in the Nui situation, it’s Senketsu who has to tell her that the “Mako” before them is not actually Mako. Which goes completely counter to what IF does!

It’s not that I’m against Ryuko recognizing a fraud, but her inability to in the Drama CDs lends insight into her character that I find fitting. Ryuko fails to identify the fake Makos in the CDs because Ryuko initially closes her heart off to the girl—something she outright admits in episode 22 (and which the English dub makes particularly prominent).

Ryuko: Yeah, you [Mako] too! You’re like the most persistent chick I ever met! You didn’t care if I pushed you away! You kept coming back and coming back like a yo-yo!

However, after ripping Junketsu from her body, Ryuko becomes far more open, and it’d be really powerful for her to correctly identify a fake Mako then. It’d show how their relationship has grown and become stronger.

In IF, Mako and Ryuko have hardly had the development they undergo in the anime, and further, Ryuko’s explanation for how she knew it was Nui doesn’t make a lick of sense!

Nui-Mako: How’d you know it was me?

Ryuko: Easy! After Mako wakes up, she’s always got drool on her face.

As Ryuko seemed to have already deduced that “Mako” was Nui before even looking at her, how in the world does this work?

Episode 7 has more questionable character writing for Ryuko later on, too. I’ve already written at great lengths about how I find her attitude regarding murder totally OOC, but Nui’s death scene also has such a strange line regarding Ryuko’s feelings towards Satsuki:

Nui: Guess who ordered me to take the Rending Scissors from your daddy! Give up? It was Satsuki!

Ryuko: If she did, she musta had a good reason for it.

As sweet as the sentiment is, and as much as I understand that it’s there to point out how not even Nui can tear apart Ryuko and Satsuki’s bond, it leaves me totally baffled. Satsuki must have had a good reason to issue the order that killed her father, and Ryuko’s chill with that? At this point in the story, the kind of unwavering faith in Satsuki that Ryuko displays here is completely unearned. I could see Ryuko at the end of the anime feeling this way, but IF Ryuko? Not at all! She barely knows Satsuki!

But for all my gripes regarding the storyline, we Kill la Kill fans are starving. (Well, at least I am, anyway.) Even if Ryuko’s words to Nui make no sense, it is something I would have liked the anime to explore more, and the character interactions here are undeniably sweet. I love Ryuko and Senketsu’s banter and how it shows how comfortable and in tune with each other they are. I love Ryuko’s silly dialogue to Satsuki and how Satsuki smiles at it, telling us that even the “ice-cold” Student Council President can’t help but get a bit soft at this dorky shounen protagonist.

Ryuko: I hate family drama. But I said I’d save Satsuki, sooo...

Senketsu: I had a feeling you’d say that.

Ryuko: Looks like you’re having a really shitty day, Satsuki!

The battle that finishes up this episode, with “Blumenkranz” playing in the background and the Elite Four and Satsuki joining the fight with cute dialogue, is a joy, too. There are a lot of little details that I really appreciate.

(I also realized this time around that you can stop Ragyo’s Instant Kill and didn’t get obliterated by Shinra-Kouketsu like I did in Satsuki’s story.) 

Ragyo: Your sins shall be purged along with your pathetic body!

Episode 8

But in regards to the plot of IF, Ryuko’s eighth episode finally starts dropping some more answers. As the ending of Satsuki’s story had implied, the world is outright said here to be her dream, created from Junketsu:

Ragyo: Junketsu took your [Satsuki’s] dreams and made them tangible. That is the distorted world we see now.

However, I still can’t say I get it. When Satsuki wakes up at the end of her story, it’s the start of episode 1 of the anime. She hasn’t come into contact with Junketsu yet, so how has this distorted world even been created in the first place? I guess Life Fibers can just mess with time?

I’m also kinda amused that the world is said to be what Satsuki wants to happen, yet she describes it as a “bad dream” when she wakes up.

But the big “new” information is Ragyo’s assertion that Ryuko is “the singularity”:

Ragyo: I knew it. You were the singularity, Ryuko Matoi.

As Ragyo explains, she could have taken over this fake world (and perhaps merged it with the real one, judging by her comment in Satsuki’s story about how such a world “can even be spun into a single yarn with the Primordial Life Fiber”), but Ryuko got in the way:

Ragyo: Since my Life Fibers are much more powerful than Junketsu’s, I could’ve taken this planet over. Then, I could’ve enslaved humanity and begun the process of turning it... into a Cocoon Sphere. Yes, I could’ve. If it wasn’t for your existence, Ryuko Matoi.

Now, there have been hints that something’s up with Ryuko all throughout IF, but I can’t say I really know what to make of it. Senketsu remarks that Ryuko’s oddly strong in the first episode of her campaign, Ragyo adds to this and suggests that Ryuko’s affecting the Primordial Life Fiber in the same episode, and then, there also seems to be the implication that Ryuko is triggering the weird sense of time in her sixth episode. The final episode of Satsuki’s story seems to feature Ryuko absorbing Life Fibers, too.

It makes sense for Ryuko to affect Satsuki’s dream world, of course; Ryuko has Life Fibers in her, and she’s also the sister whom Satsuki is ultimately fighting for. I’ve seen theories that the Primordial Life Fiber takes on the shape of a baby to represent the baby sister Satsuki thought she’d lost (and at least in the English dub, Ryuko does refer to the baby as a “she,” further connecting the baby to the lost sister); so perhaps, even if Satsuki doesn’t recognize her connection to Ryuko, maybe the Life Fibers do. Ryuko has power in the dream world because, in a lot of ways, Ryuko is Satsuki’s dream. Maybe that’s the reason that Satsuki only gets flashes of scenes between her and Ryuko in the anime when the baby connects with her, too.

Who knows? I can only hope that episodes 9 and 10 will clear this story up.

I’ve obviously got a lot of questions, but I know this is basically the end. I’m not sure how much explanation to expect going forward, and I’m still wondering about things that don’t even necessarily (?) have to do with the dream world, too. Like, whatever was the point of that moment with Ragyo and one of Senketsu’s scraps? And what was bothering Shiro?

Shiro: There’s just one thing that bothers me...

I said in the beginning of this tl;dr report that I couldn’t pinpoint a single reason for my inability to write it for eight months. But maybe part of the reason is that it’s kind of nice to not know the ending. As long as I don’t play it, there’s still some official Kill la Kill content that I haven’t experienced yet, and it could be anything.

But at the same time, I don’t know how much longer I can go without seeing Senketsu-Kisaragi, so.

The thing—i.e., this monstrous essay—that was holding me back from playing through to the end is now complete! And I’m ready to finally finish this game.

Here’s to hoping that the finale is satisfying 🤞

[arastiia]

REALLY, REALLY LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY. RULES.  repost ,   don’t  reblog  !    tag  10  !  good  luck  !

TAGGED BY:@absolutiia & @mammaterasu (lemme luv u) TAGGING: (last few in my activity) @gloriatiia, @starrfated, @vcgabcnd, @aevyternal, @matoiii, @vindictiia, @wingedborn, @way-of-flowers, @tiiamate, @moralistiius​ & @drautcs.

BASICS.

FULL  NAME:  Satsuki Kiryuin. NICKNAME: Sats, sis, nee-san  (Ryuko); Satsuki-chan (Jakuzure) -- mostly post-KLK.  AGE: 18; turns 19 shortly after Ragyo’s death. BIRTHDAY: September 9th. ETHNIC  GROUP: Asian. NATIONALITY: Japanese. LANGUAGE / S: Japanese, English. SEXUAL  ORIENTATION: (prob.) asexual. ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION: biromantic. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: complex. CLASS: High; the Kiryuins belong to the richest & wealthiest families ever known.  HOME TOWN / AREA: Honnouji; later on Kanagawa. CURRENT  HOME: Kiryuin Mansion. PROFESSION: Honnouji Academy Student Council President, Heiress to the Kiryuin Empire; new CEO of rebuilt REVOCs (post-KLK)

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: varies; black. Used to be extremely long (110 cm); short / shoulder-long (post-KLK) EYES: color varies, depending on incidence of light. Dark blue most part of the time, sometimes gray. Satsuki possesses narrow eyes which are framed by very distinct eyebrows. One of the few physical features she definitely shares with her mother. NOSE: Pointed.  FACE: angular, defined jaw & keen contours.  LIPS: rather thin. Perpetually frowning. COMPLEXION: Pale. Almost white when compared to her sister’s skin. BLEMISHES:  if examined close enough one will spot a petite patch of burnt skin on her back right between both shoulder blades (set on her spine). Hinting at the spot where life fibers made first contact during exerted experiments (in her youth). Mere ‘touch’ burnt the child’s skin, rendering her unfit  for further tests. Said piece of skin was later on cut open before both parents eventually realized that aforsaid life fibers could not make contact with her neural system (connection error). Satsuki’s right hallux nail has furthermore been replaced with a custom made steel implement.

SCARS: minor cut (almost bleached out/barely visible) right beneath her left cheekbone. Moreover three insection scars on left brachium, long cut / scar on right side of her neck (knife wound which she often covers with high collars / hair) -- post-KLK. TATTOOS: None. HEIGHT: 164 cm (172 cm with heels). WEIGHT: around 58 kg. BUILD: Slender in shape; defined muscle in arms, back & stomach. Long legs, broad hips + shoulders. FEATURES: sharp & stoic. ALLERGIES: None. USUAL  HAIR  STYLE: hair is kept extremely straight & tidy; both bangs & hair-ends cut in a perfectly horizontal manner. This changes as soon as she shortens her hair. Despite keeping her style 'neat’ still, it often stays more loose & a bit ‘wilder’. USUAL  FACE  LOOK: rather apathetic, devoid of emotion yet undeniably calm at the same time. Brows oft furrowed, eyes steely. USUAL  CLOTHING: various uniforms. Colors of choice are white & blue. Later perhaps even black -- Albeit having been a part of the fashion industry for quite some time already, Satsuki owns no sense for trends at all. This leads to her being prone to dress very formal; rather simple & plain. Items like long blouses & skirts are her favorites; she hardly will wear flat shoes & truly prefers heels (8cm) -- It is also known Satsuki sticks to more loose & unrevealing clothing when being able to choose. 

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S: Failure, losing those considered as family, being devoured by Junketsu & (post-KLK) becoming just like her mother. ASPIRATION / S: Killing Ragyo Kiryuin thus stopping her from gaining world domination; revenge for her dead father & baby sister (pre-episode 18) -- later on, protecting Ryuko & redemption become her driving force. After fulfilling this aim (thus losing her purpose), the rebuilding of REVOCs & the idea of helping those once hurt becomes the distraction she direly needs. POSITIVE  TRAITS: Ambition, sheer endless willpower, diligence, intellect, passion, rationality / ability to think out of the box, dedication & will to protect her ‘family’.  NEGATIVE  TRAITS: manipulator, can have an ill-temper when losing control, hardly shows any empathy, can be seen as taciturn, apathetic,cruel & cold. Lacks the will to open up, tends to isolate herself, arrogant. Cannot see herself being human (’an experiment’,etc). MBTI: INTJ. ZODIAC: Virgo. TEMPEREMENT: Choleric. SOUL  TYPE / S: Leader, Thinker. ANIMALS:  Owl. VICE  HABIT / S:  manipulating / torturing others & donning Junketsu thus wrecking own body in the process. FAITH: Satsuki considers herself an atheist. GHOSTS?: No. AFTERLIFE?: in a way,yes. REINCARNATION?: No. ALIENS?: obviously.  ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE: Satsuki owns a high position / plenty of wealth; she does,however prefer a rather humble & minimalistic life style. SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION: CEO; business woman. EDUCATION  LEVEL: basic school education + advanced education in several specific fields, excellent business skills.

FAMILY.

FATHER: Soichiro Kiryuin (deceased). MOTHER: Ragyo Kiryuin (deceased). SIBLINGS: Ryuko Matoi (alive). EXTENDED  FAMILY: Nui Harime (’artificial’ second sister.), Devas. NAME  MEANING / S:  To offer a more indepth analysis; the name Satsuki can be translated into ‘moon’; thus refering to most symbolic traits the moon possesses. White & blue are her main colors, water & air her main elements. She is an introvert; reserved & the calm force opposing her sister Ryuko (the sun). Satsuki can also (symbolically speaking) refer to the satsuki azalea: a certain type of bonzai which is famous for its beauty & sturdiness when groomed with enough finesse & dedication.

‘Kiryuin’ roughly means  "imperial house” (refering to her general family & the mere might it possesses) &  “empress, emperor". It is also important to note that the word ‘dragon’ can be found in there too (when analysing the kanji) -- given Satsuki’s role during KLK & the dragon symbolism found in both Junketsu’s activated form & the transformation scene itself, the meaning of said finding can be considered as rather self-explanatory.

HISTORICAL  CONNECTION?: n/A.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: heavy content appealing to her level of intellect. Prose / poetry & various rather philosophical works oft interest her too. It nonetheless depends on her mood. Classic drama / tragedy can be relaxing in her pov aswell. 5 SONGS: Classical music in general; Jakuzure’s  pieces are a blessing in her pov. DEITY: Athena. HOLIDAY: probably Christmas; Satsuki invests a lot of time & effort into preparing meals / gifts for Ryuko & her devas. She loves spending time with those she cherishes & surely takes a liking in the familiar atmosphere it entails. This only applies to post-KLK scenarios. Holidays hardly mattered to her while mother was still alive. MONTH: no specific one.  SEASON: Perhaps autumn. PLACE: despite liking to be among Ryuko & her devas in general, Satsuki oftentimes strives for isolation -- in this case own apartment appears to be the safest choice.  WEATHER: Rain soothes her.  SOUND: Clashing steel, falling rain, soft melody of a piano or quiet pieces of classical music played in the background; to name a few. Kiryuin does nonetheless cherish silence / a certain tranquility above most other things. SCENT / S: brewed tea. old books, freshly washed/ironed clothing, to name a few. TASTE / S: Anything bitter. FEEL / S: nothing specific. Then again Satsuki surely favors the feeling of being in total control & undeniable security. Gentleness is high on her list too for several reasons. ANIMAL / S: majestic creatures with highly symbolic value. She bases her favorites on certain situations or rational choice / value more often than not. NUMBER: no specific one. COLOURS: several shades of blue.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: great leader/motivator, extraordinarily good at rhetoric, manipulation, master in swordmanship / dual swordmanship, several martial arts, master of self-control, good listener/advisor, quick learner, etc. BAD  AT: acknowledging/dealing with own trauma, keeping (platonic) relationships alive, opening up / talking about herself, being ‘human’, coping (post-KLK), sarcasm & humor, picking the right clothes. TURN  ONS: she would rather avoid thinking about something like that at the moment.  TURN  OFFS: ^^^^ HOBBIES: reading & several other rather artistic occupations, sparring (kendo,etc), simply enjoying a cup of tea. She does not frequent hobbies as such given her occupation -- reading is thus perhaps the only activity she can uphold. Other than that she also enjoys being in her sister’s company / doing casual ‘stuff’ alongside Jakuzure.  AESTHETIC  TAGS: strategy, tea, Victorian Age, literature, books, conquer, katanas, control, poetry, classical music.

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: If  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own movie , what  would  it  be called, what  style  would  it  be filmed  in,  and  what  would  it  be  about ? — I would love to learn more about Satsuki’s childhood as such; about her life during these years, her education, the role she played in later years. How exactly did she conquer Honnouji, how did Ragyo’s & her interactions work out (not necessarily the ‘abuse part’ but more their dialogues, Ragyo’s influence on her earlier childhood,etc), how did the devas influence her life? How did she interact with them? How big was Jakuzure’s impact? How did they develop Honnouji Academy as such? -- to be honest there is a lot I wish to know. Perhaps also more about her mentality. About her redemption post-KLK, yada yada.

I have no specific name in mind but its title would probably be minimalistic. As for the style? I am not really thinking about a movie / documentation but more of a novel, I suppose.

Q2 : What  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like? — Heavy & militant pieces which feature a lot of power but also ‘softer’ piano compositions that are rather melancholic. Satsuki would def need some female singers in there too. Maybe also tracks featuring the ‘Aurora’ or ‘Cry no More’ vibe. Songs that seem to start rather atypically but evolve into VERY powerful songs carried by a certain celestical tune. It really depends on the context.The majority of her score would consist out of very strong songs with a bit of fragility / melancholy mixed in here & there. Q3: Why  did  you  start  writing  this  character? —  Satsuki is complex. A masterpiece in terms of character writing. She is certainly one of the richest characters I know & I love the amount of layers her character has. Writing her proves a challenge -- her dialogue is composed, every word often meaning much more than one might believe; also her psyche. Her drive. Her general story. I am simply drawn to antagonistic, manipulative heroes with surprisingly soft hearts & a terribly tragic backgroundstory who do awful things for the sake of serving a noble call. It gives me life TBH. Q4: What  first  attracted  you  to  this  character? — her power. & perhaps her design. The way she walked down the stairs in this undeniably majestic way? The way she held her first speech? I was sold.  Q5: Describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse. — her manipulative streak. How she treats her devas in the first half of the show. Even if I understand why she had to do this / why she performed the deeds she did; it hurts me everytime.  Q6: What  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse? — we are both manipulators. We are both hella introvert & driven. I cut my hair short kinda like Satsuki did too; I lowkey love running around in heels all day aswell. Other than that? Not that much.  Q7: How  does  your  muse  feel  about  you? — hmmm. I am positive that she likes me.  Q8: What  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with? — A lot of characters actually. I love seeing her interact with her devas (Jakuzure, Sanageyama, Gamagori & Inumuta) & ofc also Ryuko. My plots with Ragyo are very painful but feature an unique dynamic that truly strikes me. Then again, I usually only write with roleplayers whom muses could be considered as interesting to interact with.  Q9 : What  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse? — To be frank, I rarely really need inspiration? I sometimes rely on my experience drawn from similar characters which I wrote before (Kuvira most part of the time.) but other than that? Music, I guess. -- I also gain most of my motivation from writing down potential hc topics & discussing them with the squad. Q10: How  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete? — Sorta long. I rambled a lot + rewrote stuff around a thousand times tbh.

[marshmallowgoop]

Doing yearly writing reviews isn’t really a thing. But once you start doing ‘em, it doesn’t feel right to stop, you know?

Seeing progress in other arts is of course a lot easier than seeing progress in writing, but I think there is some forward movement for me, especially when I also consider my compilations from 2017 and 2018.

In regards to 2019, I’ve selected various kinds of writing for this post: analytical essays, opinion pieces, news articles, creative fiction, and maybe some works that can’t be categorized so easily, too. It was a very difficult year on many fronts; I dealt with job struggles, financial insecurity, destroyed relationships, medical hardships, seemingly endless cyberstalking and online harassment. 

But there were good things, too. New friendships. New passions. New outlooks. I feel like I’ve learned and grown a lot more in these past couple of months than I have in a long, long time.

The end of 2019 is more than just the end of one year. It’s also the end of a decade. But I think the best advice I’ve received all decade comes from this year:

✄ Sometimes, you have to say yes to saying no.

✄ If you can’t do something well, do something poorly!

✄ The best option may be to simply not engage.

✄ You don’t have to apologize for disappointing others.

✄ Your worth isn’t measured by how much you “accomplish.”

✄ You have rights: the right to have your needs and wants respected, the right to make mistakes, the right to determine your own priorities, the right to not be responsible for the actions or problems of others, the right to express yourself, the right to be human. It’s not selfish or narcissistic to stand up for your rights.

And, since it is the end of the decade and all, here’s also a comparison between one nerdy fandom essay from August 2010 and another from August 2019:

2010 (with added spaces because yes, this really was just a huge block of text originally):

Also, in my own opinion, nobody really gave a damn for Xion all that much save for Roxas. I mean, yeah, Axel cared a little, but in the end, he got totally mad at her, got mad any time she was mentioned, got mad whenever Roxas worried about her, got mad when she showed up at the clock tower. She was his friend, yeah, and he didn’t want her to go, but in the end, he would have chosen Roxas above her anytime.

The other “mean villains” didn’t really care. Luxord didn’t care, Demyx didn’t care, Xaldin got exasperated once at her, but overall didn’t care, Xigbar didn’t care, Xemnas outright said he didn’t care, Saix was rather cruel to her, but really, in the end, he didn’t give a damn for her. The others weren’t around long enough to have an impression on her. I think even Riku didn’t really care all that much for her, in all honesty. He just wanted his best friend back.  

Also, you have to keep in mind that we played the game through Roxas’ perspective, and it’s in my personal belief that he fell in love with Xion. And if you’re in love with someone, when she gets into a coma, or goes missing, or ignores you, you’re gonna be upset, and talk about it. So Roxas did. 

But you know, he doesn’t actually do a lot of it until the end of the game. Before that, it’s all about the THREE of them. He loves his friends (even if he doesn’t know it), and he wants them to be together forever, but when Xion goes missing or whatnot and they can’t ALL have ice cream together, he gets upset.

2019: 

I’ve written more on the subject here, but to keep it short, Ryuko only tries to take Nui’s life when she’s convinced herself that she’s a monster, and her development is less about her becoming less okay with killing people and more about how she won’t let her anger and rage control her. What makes Ryuko’s attitude so different in the end isn’t that she’s reconsidered her thoughts on murder but that she’s composed. Come episode 22, Ryuko ain’t saying that she’s gonna kill anyone to sound tough or to intimidate. She keeps her cool even against her worst enemies.

But that’s just what I think! Maybe I’ve interpreted the character all wrong. But Ryuko’s freak-out after she goes berserk and hurts others in episode 12, her devotion to defending even people she’s just met… I just struggle to see her as someone who’s actually a-okay with killing. The fact that Ryuko’s perfect fantasy in episode 20 depicts her as a sweet girl without any of the violent tendencies that she has in reality also points this way; not to mention, Ryuko outright admits that her picking fights and causing trouble are bad things when remarking on her childhood in episode 8.

And Ryuko? She doesn’t want to be bad. All the poor girl’s ever wanted is love, and I can’t imagine she’d ever think that getting angry and killing people would get her a lot of that.

Progress may be slow, but it does happen.

At least, I think so.

Image Texts

January 2019

And personally? I find that sweetness just absolutely, utterly charming. When I understood what the rap was trying to communicate, I couldn’t imagine listening to the song without it. Heck, even before I understood, I found the “without rap” edits empty and barren. No matter how “silly” the lyrics might come off, the unabashed cheese is fantastic. The rap section that I was once “meh” about legitimately became my favorite part of the song.

Plus, I really can’t stress enough how sad the song is when it’s purely Ryuko. The official [nZk] remix replaces Senketsu’s rap with a reprise of Ryuko’s first verse, which recounts how she and Senketsu met. And it’s tragic! She says, “But I’m all alone,” and she is. Senketsu isn’t singing with her, no matter her claim that she can hear his voice. Considering what happens to Senketsu in the end, his absence in the song hits even harder.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/182361051017/oomoj-marshmallowgoop-the-rap-is-good

February 2019

The focus then shifts away from Ragyo, but Kill la Kill ain’t at all done with building the audience up yet. As the scene moves to the following day, viewers are met with quick, close-up shots of Uzu’s note to Ryuko, timed right to the beat of “Blumenkranz.” Uzu wants to duel, and we soon get to see his full request in an engaging low-angle shot where Ryuko looks up to this sign looming over her. The weight and gravity of the situation is effectively conveyed: the smooth transition from Ragyo to here, as well as the music and shot composition, let us know in no indirect terms that this fight isn’t something to be brushed off. Uzu’s duel is a big deal, and it’s very much connected to Ragyo’s expansive empire.

And the tension just keeps growing. Ryuko’s reaction to Uzu’s note is presented with a dramatic canted, high-angle shot. The camera—which is just slightly tilted—peers down at both Ryuko and the sign, communicating a sense of danger and unease. Viewers already know that the upcoming battle is important, but here, we also understand that it’s not going to be easy.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/182841724817/all-the-discussion-around-episode-6-of-kill-la

March 2019

Kill la Kill the Game: IF is currently being featured at the 2019 Game Developers Conference that runs until March 22nd in San Francisco, and a flurry of new gameplay videos are now available for viewing. Notably, these videos feature full English subtitles for the character dialogue for the first time since EVO 2018 last year and never-before-seen stages, such as what seems to be the Fiber Castle in the Kiryuin Manor.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/183766224117/kill-la-kill-the-game-if-gameplay-footage-from

April 2019

I mean, Kill la Kill ended over five years ago now. There’s been fairly minimal new content ever since—an OVA in September of 2014, a few pieces of merchandise here and there, a small crossover with Grand Summoners last year. And then, not even 11 months ago, out of seemingly nowhere, there was confirmation for a full-blown Kill la Kill video game. That we now know will be released in just 14 weeks!

Lots of jokes were made about the announcement for a game so many years after the series finale, but, like, seriously, as a longtime Kill la Kill fan, it’s hard to wrap my head around. Ever since the show ended, I’ve dedicated over half a million words to writing about it, spent tens of thousands of yen on books and Blu-rays and CDs, devoted nearly 60 GB to my own GIFs and edits. I’ve loved this thing to death. I’ve always found more and more that I want to write and create from this series, but I never really imagined nor expected that we’d ever get much more official content from the original creators themselves. And now we are getting so much more, and???

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/184228103137/kill-la-kill-the-game-if-releases-on-july-25th-in

May 2019

Kiznaiver: Oh, I was so excited to love this show! I was lucky enough to see an advanced screening of the first two episodes, and I was totally hooked. It was drop-dead gorgeous—and probably the prettiest series Trigger has ever put out—and I was very intrigued by the plot and characters. I remember just coming back to my hotel room at like 3:00 am after the premiere, utterly filled with excitement. I mean, Kiznaiver  was directed by Hiroshi Kobayashi, the episode director behind the two episodes that got me hooked on Kill la Kill (episodes 5 and 18)!

But… my excitement quickly died. The story tried to develop way too many characters in way too little time, and I never enjoyed the romantic pairing of Katsuhira and Noriko, finding it shallow, undeveloped, and nonsensical (in a bad way), which… kind of ruins a lot of the series when that’s arguably the heart of the whole thing.

Kiznaiver is still super, super pretty, though. That last episode’s animation got me shook.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/184700944732/so-have-you-watched-the-other-stuff-studio-trigger

June 2019

I do recognize that many, many matters do not warrant conversation. I do recognize that the phrase “I’m just trying to have a conversation” can be—and has been—utilized as a means of directing criticism away from inflammatory, unacceptable, inhumane remarks. I in no way feel that hateful, discriminatory comments should be promoted.

Simultaneously, however, “conversation” should not automatically be a dirty word in the field of analyzing and seriously engaging with fiction, and thoughtful reactions should be supported and striven for. Nothing in fiction is ever black and white. There are so many nuances and complexities to the storybook realities of our media. I want commentators and critics of fiction to be passionate about listening, considering, and rethinking those nuances and complexities. Isn’t that why we do this work at all? To share our own point of view and open ourselves up to others?

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/185289615202/we-need-to-change-the-way-we-seriously-discuss

July 2019

Initially, I was really bummed by this lack of development. But as I thought about things more, I… didn’t mind so much. If this dream or universe or whatever is something that Satsuki “experiences” before the events of the anime, of course she won’t grow as a character here. Maybe this game is kind of the Kill la Kill prequel I’ve been begging for for over half a decade.

And as much as I didn’t get anything, I thought the ending bits between Ryuko and Satsuki were so good.

Like, I suppose Ryuko’s absorbing the Life Fibers or something?? But wow, pretty.

And the part where they talk before Satsuki disappears? That’s my kinda anime bullshit. It’s the kinda anime bullshit I wanted from the OVA between Ryuko and Senketsu.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/186648065467/goop-plays-kill-la-kill-the-game-if-satsuki

August 2019

That book, Log. 2, is a fan doujin from Kotaro Nakamori, who worked as an animator and animation director in Kill la Kill. There’s a bunch of assorted fanart in there, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Nakamori is a fan of Urusei Yatsura and wanted to make a little crossover between that series and Kill la Kill.

Personally, though, as someone not too familiar with Urusei Yatsura, I kinda just saw the image as oni-Satsuki (with oni being demon/ogre-like creatures in Japanese folklore). Oni are traditionally depicted wearing tiger skin loincloths, and Lum herself is definitely basically a space oni. So, I saw the cover and got super excited about oni-Satsuki because I love oni a lot, haha.

Fun fact: character designer Sushio has also drawn Kill la Kill characters as oni for setsubun, a celebration that’s held on the last day of winter (February 3rd). During setsubun, you might see folks dressed up like oni—who get beans thrown at them in an effort to bring in good luck and chase naughty demons away.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/187228888187/do-i-see-satsuki-wearing-lums-outfit-in-your-last

September 2019

Though I don’t see it much anymore, I remember lots of comparisons between Ragyo and the villains of Saturday morning cartoons back in the day. She was described as a generic, two-dimensional “evilz for the sake of evilz” baddie and criticized for her simplicity.

And though I did admittedly agree to an extent—I craved a lot more depth and insight, particularly in regards to her haunting line about “still having something of a human heart” whilst brutally attacking her own daughter in the final episode—I also found Ragyo to be a remarkably compelling, powerful, and horrifying villain even without tons of backstory and explanation. Perhaps my write-up on her first scene in episode 6 best details why; this woman has such a presence, and the visual language of the series amplifies that presence spectacularly. Ragyo’s intimidating and scary without the audience even needing to know anything about her.

And… I’d say that’s a good villain. That’s exactly what a villain should do.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/187987858537/on-ragyo-kiryuin

October 2019

And, though there are no visuals, so I can’t be sure if it’s an “Ocean of Light” or not, the fourth Drama CD also has the same kinda deal happening. In the CD—which takes place immediately after Ryuko learns the truth of her origins—Ryuko’s pain manifests as an explosion of light that knocks both her and Senketsu unconscious and pushes Senketsu away from her. The sound effect here is familiar, and I’m personally convinced that this is another “Ocean of Light” moment.

Which brings me to the “light” part of the terminology. Light is often associated with good, yes, but light is also associated with heat, and heat is associated with pain. In the Drama CD, Ryuko’s light is so hot that Nui even remarks that Senketsu “almost burned” from it, and when Mako embraces Ryuko after swimming through her “Ocean of Light” in episode 12, Ryuko’s touch scorches Mako’s skin.

I’ve already written an essay on the symbolic and narrative use of fire, warmth, and heat in Kill la Kill (that you should totally read because it’s actually maybe Kinda Good, Maybe), and relating to that, I see the “Ocean of Light” as a physical representation of Ryuko’s fiery spirit. That fire can be used for good, and that fire can also be painful, but no matter what, that fire is a part of Ryuko.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/188247077227/i-always-wanted-some-explanation-you-are-smart

November 2019

She looks around her cottage. Her eyes find the walls and the furnishings. Her eyes find the scratched floors and stained wood. She does not voice it to the once-emperor, but she had never been able to remove the stains from the attack. Her son's blood has painted the brown wood red. It is a reminder of what she cannot remember. It is a reminder of the past she has forgotten.  

“This home feels so desperately lonely,” she admits. “I do not know who is missing. But it is not complete.”  

The man is quiet. He did not expect to find himself feeling sympathy for the woman's plight. Perhaps she is a fool, to have given her heart to a demon. But kindness ought not be punished, he thinks. Or has he grown so cold that he believes it should be?  

December 2019

🏀 Michiru and Shirou’s relationship may be the focus, but Nakashima emphasizes that Michiru’s relationship with Nazuna is also involved in the story in a big way.

🏀 Nakashima stresses the importance of depicting teen girls realistically. Two women screenwriters are on board: Kimiko Ueno and Nanami Higuchi. Both wrote for Little Witch Academia. Ueno also wrote for Space Patrol Luluco, and Higuchi was behind the production reports in Trigger Magazine (and, interestingly, wrote the script for the anime adaptation of BEASTARS).

🏀In regards to Michiru and Nazuna’s relationship, producer Naoko Tsutsumi (also an animation producer for Kiznaiver and Little Witch Academia) provides input as well. Nakashima says that they greatly value and take to heart the opinions of the women creators.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/189928986922/otomedia-winter-2020-bna-brand-new-animal

[marshmallowgoop]

On Ragyo Kiryuin

Please note: This post will contain discussions of sexual assault and abuse.

I am not good at talking about Ragyo Kiryuin.

Every time I do, I mess it up. I don’t emphasize her atrocities enough. I emphasize her atrocities too much. I cause trouble for myself and others, and I always end up feeling awful.

My recent writing on Ragyo’s character—found here and here—proved no different. The reception for the first post was so overwhelmingly negative that it spurred on my first-ever legitimate anon hate, and the second post only made things worse. Even now, my inbox is being filled with dismissive, rude, heartbreaking messages that bring me to tears, and though my therapist has told me not to say that I hate myself anymore, it’s difficult not to in situations like these. I hate that my wording was so poor and that I stated my opinion so badly that I incited all this rage and aggression in someone (or someones, a thought that scares me more than I would like to admit).

It may be a mistake to try to explain myself further. But I hurt people with what I said, and that bothers me. I hurt people because I struggle to explain my feelings on a cartoon character well, and I’m sorry. I’m embarrassed. I’m ashamed. I want to at least put in the effort to be kinder, more nuanced, and more sympathetic.

And maybe it’ll all blow up in my face. But I don’t want to not try.

So. Ragyo Kiryuin. Mother of Satsuki Kiryuin and Ryuko Matoi, CEO of REVOCS, and the ultimate Big Bad of Kill la Kill. Love her, hate her, or love her and hate her, she’s certainly made an impression in the anime-viewing world. And though I can’t speak for anyone else’s impression, my personal impression is... mixed.

Let’s go through this bit by bit.

A Good Villain?

Though I don’t see it much anymore, I remember lots of comparisons between Ragyo and the villains of Saturday morning cartoons back in the day. She was described as a generic, two-dimensional “evilz for the sake of evilz” baddie and criticized for her simplicity.

And though I did admittedly agree to an extent—I craved a lot more depth and insight, particularly in regards to her haunting line about “still having something of a human heart” whilst brutally attacking her own daughter in the final episode—I also found Ragyo to be a remarkably compelling, powerful, and horrifying villain even without tons of backstory and explanation. Perhaps my write-up on her first scene in episode 6 best details why; this woman has such a presence, and the visual language of the series amplifies that presence spectacularly. Ragyo’s intimidating and scary without the audience even needing to know anything about her.

And... I’d say that’s a good villain. That’s exactly what a villain should do.

Why Does This Matter, Goop?

I know, I know. My talking about Ragyo’s efficiency as a villain probably doesn’t seem all that relevant to the stuff that egged on an anon hate assault. But I think it’s important to mention that I do believe that Ragyo is a great, powerful villain. My previous posts were so bleak and cynical that I didn’t make this point clear. It does, in retrospect, seem as though I am crapping all over the character and subtly dissing anyone who enjoys her. I’m sorry for that, and I want to stress that that was not at all my intention.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving villains—even when they’re morally bankrupt, atrocious people like Ragyo—because loving villains, of course, doesn’t automatically mean that you excuse or endorse their actions. Villains like Ragyo also leave such a strong impression on the viewers, and personally, I’ve been so captivated by this awful woman that my first attempt at my years-in-the-making Kill la Kill fairytale AU featured about a 30,000-word backstory for her. There is a lot to respect, love, and love to hate when it comes to Ragyo and how she’s written, and I never, ever mean to discount that.

However, as with all things, it’s possible to love a piece of fiction or a character or what have you and also recognize that there are problems in the portrayal. And when it comes to Ragyo, as much as I think she’s a fantastic, engaging, terrifying villain, I do take issue with her depiction.

The Sexuality Point

I got a lot of heat for my ideas regarding Ragyo’s sexuality, and I admit: I didn’t express myself well. There was a lot more I should have said and elaborated upon. Maybe I’ll still fail spectacularly, but as I said before, I don’t want to not try.

So first, I want to take a moment to discuss intentionality. While I absolutely value Author is Dead and respect fan interpretations of any work, I also recognize that narrative decisions in fiction don’t happen in a vacuum. The fact of the matter is, Ragyo was originally designed as a father but was later changed to a mother so the relationships Ragyo shares with her daughters wouldn’t seem so “murky,” “gross,” and “perverted.”

And... that disturbs me. The idea, as I see it, is that a father abusing his daughters is, more than appropriately, disgusting, but a mother abusing her daughters is somehow less bad. In fact, writer Kazuki Nakashima outright states that he didn’t want to explore the “murkiness” of these relationships, noting that he “didn’t want to mix [that] ‘murkiness’ into the battle.” My impression—which I understand might very well be wrong—is that there’s the feeling that female-on-female abuse just isn’t as serious or life changing as male-on-female abuse. There’s the feeling that you can just not talk about how devastating this sexual assault is, and that’s totally okay, because the perpetrator is a woman.

I’ve written previously—and perhaps most overtly here—that female-on-female abuse seems to get brushed off way more than it should be. It’s cute when a girl grabs another girl’s boobs, even when that other girl is noticeably and visibly unhappy. It’s adorable when a girl forces a kiss on another girl. Charming. Sweet. If you have a problem with it, you’re a homophobe.

And I think that’s so, so damaging. I wish I had some statistics (oh anon hounding me about facts, if you’re here), but I recall reading about how this mindset—this idea that girls just can’t hurt other girls—ends up keeping wlw in abusive, toxic relationships. And that’s not even mentioning how the notion that women are harmless and can’t do damage is a totally sexist one that hurts men and other genders, too!

With Ragyo, I actually think there’s a lot of powerful potential. Kill la Kill could have shown that there’s nothing sweet or cute or charming or sexy about female-on-female abuse. It could have shown that a mother sexually abusing her daughters is just as horrific as a father sexually abusing his daughters. Both good representation and bad representation are important, and I do see the value in an evil, awful lesbian; as noted above, the idea that girls can’t hurt other girls, that wlw can’t be bad, and that only men can cause harm is a dangerous mindset to have. I think it’s important to address it, particularly in anime, which attracts younger viewers.

In the past, I argued that Kill la Kill did address it. I wrote, “These scenes [depicting Ragyo’s abuses] are full of what may be typically used as fanservice—female nudity, fondling, touching—but they’re all incredibly disturbing, uncomfortable, painful, and tragic. The series makes no joke about just how violating these instances are.” I’ve seen similar arguments made today. 

But personally, now knowing more about the creation of Ragyo and being aware of the gushy, “Wow, this is so hot!”-type comments concerning the notorious bath scene in the official Trigger Magazine, I’ve since changed my tune. I think it’s undeniable that there is some “this isn’t so bad and maybe actually kinda sexy” appeal to Ragyo’s abuses, and that’s very, very disappointing to me. 

Further, being a survivor, I also find it incredibly hurtful. I’ve been too traumatized to even date ever since what happened to me happened, and to see situations like what I went through depicted in such explicit, detailed, fanservice-y ways... it disturbs me.

I understand that my opinion isn’t going to be shared by everyone, but I’ve come to believe in a “less is more” approach when it comes to these hard, real situations. Implication arguably holds far more power. For example, in all of my college film classes, Osama left one of the strongest impressions. In it, a young girl dresses as a boy to provide for her family. She’s eventually found out when she has her first period, and she’s then married off to a much older man. The ending scene of the film depicts the man washing himself just as the girl, in disguise as a boy, had been taught to do after having sex. Unlike in Kill la Kill, you don’t see the unspeakable scene at all. You know exactly what happened with just that one shot, and that one shot has stuck with me ever since. That’s a powerful, respectful way of portraying these very real, very horrific problems.

I know I cannot speak for every survivor, but I personally disagree with the notion that fiction should not discuss these topics. In my mind, fiction absolutely should because these things are real, because they happen. There could have been so much power in Ragyo’s depiction, in Satsuki’s depiction, in Ryuko’s. But the severity of Ragyo’s abuses is brushed off, and, as I see it, fetishized. That’s what I take issue with—not that there’s a potential evil lesbian, not that there’s a depiction of a mother abusing her daughters, but how this is depicted: not respectfully.

Referring more to my troublesome posts, I also want to address my point of how girls showing affection for other girls is often portrayed negatively in Kill la Kill, which could potentially send the message, “Hey, lesbians just be evilz.” Perhaps more than anything else, this hurt my readers the most. I wasn’t very clear and didn’t speak well, and I apologize.

Maybe surprisingly, I’ve also taken issue with the argument that Ryuko kissing Nui shows that a girl having an attraction towards another girl is bad. As I saw it, the kiss was simply a shocking way of showing that Ryuko is not at all herself; someone kissing the person they hate the most says more than words ever could. The scene isn’t an attack on wlw; the protagonist and the villain in this case just so happen to both be girls.

And I still believe this rebuttal. But I also have mixed feelings, which explains my previous responses. I once more have to question intentionality: if Ryuko were a boy, as shonen heroes so often are, would this scene have happened? Would Nui have been so flirty with him? Would there have been so much screen time and detail put into the kiss? Similar to my arguments about Ragyo, could there have been a potentially much more powerful scene whose power comes from its implications, not what it actually shows?

In all my years in the Kill la Kill fandom, I’ve seen reactions to that scene that find it hot, as “proving” that Ryuko/Nui is the only canon Kill la Kill pairing, and that see it in ways that I find to be unsavory. If the goal of that kiss is to cement the fact that Ryuko isn’t herself in the most shocking way possible, I could argue that it failed for a lot of viewers. In fact, one of my more looked-at posts is about why Ryuko kisses Nui. Its execution is confusing, and yes, I do believe it could potentially send some bad messages about wlw, even if that wasn’t intended.

Which, to bring this discussion back towards Ragyo, I want to take a moment to say that bad messages can be totally unintentional. As a writer myself, I think about potential bad unintentional messages all the time. For instance, in my aforementioned fairytale AU, I had a theme going (’cause it’s a fairytale and all): a healthy, beautiful baby is good, a healthy, ugly baby is bad, and an unhealthy, beautiful baby is good. Notice how there’s only one ugly baby, and they’re bad? I realized that this could subtly say something about ugly people, and I’ve decided to make a point about a heroic character being ugly in order to send the message that anyone can be good or bad, regardless of if they’re beautiful or ugly, healthy or unhealthy.

With Ragyo (and with Nui as well), I don’t at all think the intention is to show that girls loving other girls is wrong and bad. But the depiction, to me, leaves things to be desired. A lot of it feels fetishy, and the fact that Ragyo was purposely changed to a woman for “gross” concerns also greatly irks me.

And before I try to write up a conclusion of sorts, I do want to offer this: what if Ragyo stayed a man, but he was associated with white and rainbows as Ragyo is in the final cut? It was stated at this year’s Anime Expo that director Hiroyuki Imaishi has his heroic characters in black and villainous characters in white, which could possibly send messages like Darkness Isn’t Bad and the real villains are the ones who are perverting the purity, goodness, and so on that are associated with white. In the same way, if Ragyo were a man who seemed straight but had rainbow hair, it could send the message that the real villain is the one perverting this symbol of love and acceptance.

I don’t know. Just some food for thought.

Conclusion

I am bad at talking about Ragyo. I am bad at talking about serious topics. I’m sure this post proves as much.

But I hope I’ve done a better job of explaining my point of view than I did before. But if I didn’t—which, knowing me, is likely—I just want everyone to know that I don’t think you’re a reprehensible person if you like Ragyo. I don’t think Ragyo is “too evil” to be representation. I don’t think she’s some terrible, awful character whom nobody can love. (At least, in regards to the writing. I hope there’s agreement that she’s a terrible, awful person.)

While I have problems with Ragyo’s depiction, I don’t think anyone is horrible and wrong if they don’t and resonate with it. I know I certainly like things that others find horrible and wrong, like the Ryuko/Senketsu pairing that I’ve been attacked left and right for, and I more than recognize and voice my own problems with it whilst still loving what I love (and politely disagreeing with the problems that others see that I don’t!)

I know I’m not good at this. But I hope I’ve conveyed my thoughts respectfully, and that, even if you strongly disagree, you know I welcome and am open to your thoughts and perspective, if you would like to share. That’s why I write these posts at all.

[marshmallowgoop]

ik you don't want asks about this but as a sexual assault survivor you are absolutely valid on how you feel about Ragyo. I skip the bath scene on every rewatch, and I find her atrocious. The fact that people are attacking you for this is dumb.

Anonymous: Hey man you’re allowed to talk about who you want on your blog. It’s your shit. People are so entitled nowadays and can’t let people have opinions anymore. You’re not dumb, you’re not trying to be offensive. And it hurts seeing how you’re trying to be courteous and step on eggshells and still getting dragged. Like people are allowed to disagree but there’s no need to be rude to someone trying not to be rude. You’re literally saying an opinion. Everyone else relax, my dude. You’re fine.

Anonymous: It’s amazing how all these people can recognize ragyos terrible behavior but insist on having to defend her….

I know these are old asks that I was initially too nervous to answer, but given that I have written on the topic since, I don’t want to leave this support and kindness without a proper response. People going out of their way to stand up for me deserve responses so much more than people going out of their way to insult me, and I want to honor that, even if it’s belated.

Warning for discussions of sexual assault and abuse below.

Part of the reason I did end up writing more on Ragyo Kiryuin is actually due to the sentiments expressed in your comment, first anon. The fact that I, a survivor of sexual assault, was being personally attacked and shamed for sharing that I find the depiction of a literal sexual abuser troublesome… let’s just say that it struck me as very, very wrong. It felt especially wrong because I only spoke up about the situation in the first place because I was asked to.

As the second anon says, I think it’s become difficult to have opinions. (Or perhaps it’s simply always been difficult.) I remember an old post on here that said something like, “The way to become popular on Tumblr is to never have an opinion on anything ever.” And… I feel like there’s a lot of sad truth to that. The most successful fandom blogs tend to be reblog hubs that post artwork and avoid anything that could be so opinionated as to incite drama and controversy, and fandom discourse has become so volatile that anon hate over headcanons is… a thing.

Or perhaps it’s always been a thing, in some way or another.

But in any case, the more I thought about it, the more disturbed I was by what happened. The notion that I should just shut up and stop talking about something that’s very relevant to my own personal experiences, all because my opinion isn’t the same as someone else’s, is gross. Not every survivor will agree with me, and that’s valid; as I explained in the linked post above, my own feelings on this particular situation have changed over the years. But to ridicule me, to call me stupid, to say that I don’t know anything, when I have done nothing but share my own personal thoughts on something and never, ever put anyone down for holding a different view, is not okay. In this case, it’s literally silencing survivors who felt hurt by some of the decisions in the show. 

Your message is so sad to me in retrospect, first anon, because it tells me that other survivors aren’t going to want to speak about this. We’re not going to have as many meaningful conversations about LGBTQ+ representation or the depiction of abuse in fiction because people are going to be too scared to talk about it; they’ll fear that they’ll be as harassed as I was, if not worse. I thank you for sharing your experience with me. It’s reassuring to know that I’m not alone in my thoughts, and I recognize that these aren’t easy topics to discuss, so I really value that you were willing to speak out.

To address your message, third anon, as I elaborated on in my more extensive Ragyo post, I do think I could have spoken better, and I do understand feeling hurt and upset by my opinions; that’s fair, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I have a hunch that the anon hate firestorm I received was partly because there was the impression that I’m a “gross man who hates Ragyo because she wouldn’t want me because she’s a lesbian.”

And… I have a lot of problems with that. I don’t want to regurgitate my other post too much, so I’d recommend reading that for more discussion on the difference between finding a character bad and thinking that their depiction could have been better, but I do want to add here that I’m not about this kind of demonization of men. Ragyo is a sexual abuser, and in my opinion, her abuses are not presented well. I am a woman, but a man feeling the same way does not automatically make him a “gross man,” especially if he’s also a survivor. 

If the genders were reversed, and Ragyo were a man abusing his sons, portrayed in the same way, I have a feeling that I would never have been attacked like I was. And, personally, that bothers me. I don’t like that female abusers are not taken as seriously. I don’t like that there’s even the argument that the only reason men could possibly dislike Ragyo or her depiction is because she’s a lesbian who wouldn’t want them and not because she’s an absolutely atrocious sexual predator who abuses her own daughters. In scenes that I (and others) find to be glamorized portrayals of assault.

This all got very long, but thank you three for reaching out. I don’t particularly like talking about Ragyo, but if someone is going to ask for my honest opinion on her, it’s… pretty dreadful to then get what I got. I’m still really disappointed about what happened, and I’m sad that this kind of thing discourages meaningful, productive conversation. But I will continue writing my opinionated thinkpieces, and I’m very grateful that they’re not seen as awful garbage by everyone, and I’m very glad that not everyone wants me to just shut up because I’m terrible and stupid. 

Thank you.

[marshmallowgoop]

This isn’t something I should have edited together.

But here it is: all the messages I’ve received in the last month or so that are mean spirited and/or really hurt me (no matter how well intentioned they may have been).

After all my years of feeling invisible and like no one cares, I think I’m finally getting somewhere. I’m not just being insulted behind my back anymore.

A Tweet: sometimes following the klk tag is good and nice and sometimes you get an essay on why ryuko and senketsu are in love

by the same blog, who is upset that this is not a popular ship

I’m more worth it than ever to be insulted straight to my face.

Transcript under the cut.

EDIT: I’ve explained my reasons for posting this collage here.

“You realize some of us don’t have Tumblr accounts, we’re coming over from what we heard in the Discord, right? Surprised the self-professed shirtfucker lore god didn’t think of that. Don’t trip over your massive brain since you ‘write stuff, at times’.”

“Ragyo’s bath scene was anti-fanservice. She’s disgusting, but it’s meant to turn the gross ass men off from her that would normally be pulled into that. As much as Ryuko and Satsuki are independent, strong lesbian women, so is Ragyo. She’s completely on the wrong side, morally, but geez Goop. Get it together with your points on her. I get that she’s not Senketsu but c’mon. Disappointed because I expected different.”

“senketsu raped ryuko in their first scene together. shipping them is gross.”

“If you have to outline the technical definition of ‘rape’ as it applies to a ship, it’s a bad ship. I thought you were better than this, Goop :(”

“on the fence about whether you have any fucking brain cells at all at this point”

“goops, you’re starting to stoop to the level of those that are bugging you. your last reply came off as super patronizing. i love you dude, but seeing you become as big headed as the haters is disappointing. get well soon.”

“’to quote steven universe’“

“no wonder your headcanons are so unpopular. This whole blog is a bad take

All of the women (except Sukuyo) are gay coded in that show, including the villains. It’s completely unrealistic to except them to cater to your clothesexual Kindergarten bullshit. You watched a different show than the rest of us.”

“You’re so butthurt about this Ragyou thing. Get over yourself. So what, your takes on her are shit. Talk about what you know you can write about successfully then.”

“Senketsu was made using pieces of Ryuko’s DNA. Shipping them borders on incest, it’s pretty fucked.”

“Some of us lesbians want diversity in our representation. We don’t want them all to be perfect, and we accept that we can have representation that isn’t moral just like every other sexuality. You can’t speak for everyone, especially as a non-lesbian, and declare Ragyo unfit for being a gay character. Go back to talking about the talking shirt.

LET US HAVE RAGYO WHAT THE FUCK

your latest take really hurts me, goop. i started following you awhile ago because i love kill la kill. but as a lesbian and someone that loves ragyo (while not excusing her) your claim that she is ‘too evil’ to be representation for me and my people really turns me off of this blog.

Should’ve stuck with what you know. You obviously aren’t aware of the symbolism behind Ragyo and anything about her beyond her calling Senketsu ugly.”

“Goop, giving a Tumblr link on the topic of gene splicing is the equivalent of getting your degree from the back of a cereal box. I have to agree with the other anons on Senketsu/Ryuko.”

“I can assure you no one thinks you’re a man lmfao”

“That feel when senketsu will still inevitably die at the end of the series and ryuko moves on like she’s intended to, because girls can’t wear their sailor uniforms forever. And then she goes on a date with mako.”

“we don’t give a shit if you think ryumako is intended because it’s clear you and your writing are incredibly biased and angled to support your own ship. nice try.”

“usually i agree with many of your takes, but your recent ragyo one is Not That Good, goop”

Sent on October 17th, 2019, at 9:45:45 am: “You could play cringe bingo with this blog, omg. Tag yourself, I’m marginalized Senketsu”

Sent on September 22nd, 2019 at 6:12:00 am: “She shouts his name because she’s talking to him.”

Sent on September 27th, 2019, at 8:31:37 am: “🚂[train emoji] - the sexual assault theme when senketsu forces himself upon ryuko when they first meet. inb4 you come up with some headass explanation as to why it isn’t a sexual assault-geared scene lmfao”

Sent on September 21st, 2019, at 6:47:06 pm: “SENKETSU BEING OPPRESSED AND MARGINALIZED? how many people actually know he exists? not enough for him to be oppressed. comparing this to what the anons were talking about before, idk what you think oppression is.”

Sent on September 23rd, 2019, at 5:47:32 pm: “yeah right, and you have a degree in journalism and creative writing. fat chance on tumblr. at least find something published with actual citations if you want to use it as gospel. but then again, sloppy writing through some heavy ass shipper goggles, what a surprise.”

Sent on September 21st, 2019, at 6:40:42 pm: “comparing the attractiveness of a human versus a piece of sentient clothing? that’s beyond apples to oranges.”

Sent on September 22nd, 2019, at 3:31:08 am: “You tagged them as being the most canon a few posts ago, Goop. Maybe you should take a rest, some of these replies are getting convoluted.”

Sent on October 17th, 2019, at 4:57:52 pm: “AU where you have good takes”

Sent on October 14th, 2019, at 4:43:14 pm: “’Face me in klk IF’ cringe”

Sent on October 16th, 2019, at 1:28:30 pm: “ryuko is physical with senketsu because he’s her fucking shirt. this is getting hilarious, holy shit. they were right.”

Sent on October 29th, 2019, at 7:40:48 am: “You’ve been too busy sucking your own dick to post anything too embarrassing probably.”

Sent on October 14th, 2019, at 6:11:04 pm: “’Demonization of men’ we have gone full headass now, there’s now turning back.”

Sent on October 16th, 2019, at 2:37:06 pm: “Not everyone sends you comments because of the Ragyo issue, don’t lump everyone together. Some of us have just seen this all go downhill and feel like voicing that.”

Sent on September 22nd, 2019 at 3:35:13 am: “you’re not going to explain how senketsu’s supposed oppression is on par with human racism because there’s no evidence that it’s as overwhelming except in your mind, since you’re the only person who would ever try to say what senketsu experiences is on par with what marginalized humans go through.”

Sent on September 22nd, 2019, at 3:09:13 am: “Not to be that guy, but if you see Senketsu as a child and still ship him with Ryuko we have a huge problem.”

Sent on September 22nd, 2019, at 2:55:57 am: “Wait a minute, you just said Senketsu is a ‘literal child’, but also ship Ryuko with him and think they’re canon? That’s pretty pedophilic what the fuck”

Sent on October 16th, 2019, at 7:12:02 pm: “You ever wonder why we’re here?”