#also i am absolutely saying that alex could do a better job as his stylist than most of his stylists

[just-slightly-chayotic]

@fuckyeah-itme had a brilliant idea that I'd like to share.

Jeff Satur in this bodysuit:

I think that would be very gender of him.

[alexskarsgardnet]

New Interview & Photo Shoot!  Alex photographed by Johan Sandberg and interviewed by Timothy Small for L’Uomo Vogue (October 2020)!

Alexander Skarsgård: the photo shoot and interview for L'Uomo

BY TIMOTHY SMALL, JOHAN SANDBERG 25 SEPTEMBER 2020

Alexander Skarsgård is a really, really nice man. A Swede through and through, Alexander, or Alex, is a very down-to-earth gentleman who could definitely act as more of a big shot, considering he is also one of the most interesting actors in Hollywood right now, a town that, in true Swedish style, he once defined as “kind of silly”. After getting his first big break as the lead in David Simon's excellent Iraq War mini-series for HBO, Generation Kill, Skarsgård exploded in our collective imaginations as Eric Northman in True Blood, while also acting for Lars von Trier in the wonderful Melancholia. 

Since then, he has been a very buff Tarzan in The Legend of Tarzan, a mute bartender in future Berlin in Mute, a very dark killer in Hold the Dark, and a hilarious Canadian Prime Minister in Long Shot, as well as giving an Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning turn in HBO's Big Little Lies. The self-defined “restless” 43-year-old is set to star in The Northman, Robert Eggers's highly anticipated third film, a “Viking revenge story” that Skarsgård himself was crucial in bringing to production – and, by all accounts, it seems like it could have all the right pieces to become a future cult classic. It certainly has that kind of hype.

L'Uomo Vogue:  The Northman is such an interesting project. I know it's important to you. It's also part of a growing resurgence of interest in the Viking era and Norse mythology and that sort of epic Scandinavian adventure. How did it all begin?

Alex:  It all started seven or eight years ago. As a Swede living in America, I realised there was a certain level of fascination with the Viking era and Viking culture – and this was before any of the Viking shows that have since happened. It made me realise that there basically had never been a real great epic Viking movie made, and I thought that that's what I wanted to do.

LV:  So how did the project kick off?

Alex:  I started having conversations with a studio back then, trying to crack the best story. All I knew at the time is that I wanted to make a big Viking movie. We had a couple of potential different starting points: we had a story about two brothers, and then one about the Viking travels down to Constantinople with the Viking siege of the city. We were looking for the right story, but I never really felt we were there. I knew the scope I wanted it to exist in. But what was the story?

LV:  And that's when you met Robert Eggers.

Alex:  Yes, like three or four years ago. We met about something else. I can't remember how, but we started talking about Vikings. And he was, like me, a huge fan of Viking culture and of that historical era, and I immediately felt he would be the perfect guy to direct this movie. And then we found an author and poet in Iceland, Sjón, who came onboard to write the screenplay – and they did a fantastic job, just cracking the story and the essence of it.

LV:  Sounds great.

Alex:  It's a real adventure movie, but it's much more. It taps into the culture, and the mysticism of the Vikings, it becomes more intimate and more personal. I didn't want it to be a generic “swords-and-sandals” movie. Robert is one of the best filmmakers out there. And the whole process is so much more gratifying than when you're quote-unquote “just an actor”. It's been truly extraordinary.

LV:  But then you had to halt production.

Alex:  Yeah. I was in Belfast, Northern Ireland, three months into prep on The Northman about seven days away from principal photography. Just gearing up, you know, getting ready to start a very long, very intense shoot -- a shoot that we were scheduled to wrap in July – and that's when the virus hit.

LV:  What did you do then?

Alex:  I normally live in New York, while my family lives in Stockholm. When the first wave came, I was on the fence: nobody really knew how long it would be, or what precisely was going on. So we shut down production for six weeks. The idea was to then see what would happen. I basically moved to Stockholm for four months.

LV:  How do you feel about this forced break from work?

Alex:  I had not been home for this long in... more than 20 years. It was strange. We were in a bubble; we were all healthy and safe. In a lot of ways, I had moments when I felt being surrounded by my loving family, feeling safe and loved, and taking a break from work, but then also feeling very guilty because I was, for the lack of a better term, being spared.

LV:  In the past, you've described yourself as being a nomad. Did you miss Sweden and the North?

Alex:  I realised how much I have been missing it. I go to Sweden regularly, but usually only for three or four days, maybe a week, tops. My father and two of my brothers are actors, so we're used to never being in the same city. We all travel all over the world. Maybe we'd get back together for Christmas. And I can really say that I had missed spring in Sweden.

LV:  Do you think we will change the way movies are produced?

Alex:  We're going to have to figure out how to shoot movies with dozens of crew members and hundreds of extras while still respecting social distancing rules. It's an unprecedented situation and everyone is scrambling to figure out the best approach. My brother was one of the first people who worked in our industry during the pandemic. He shot a movie in Iceland in the middle of the lockdown. The way they solved it is they split the crew into colour sections. So, hair and make-up had yellow armbands and the camera department had blue, and they had a “Corona appointee” on set who would call out, “Now blue go in!” and then “Blue, out! And yellow, in!” And then they would all do their job in turns. It was very military-like. Productions are already complicated, so we'll just have to add another layer.

LV:  How did you become an ambassador to the Clarks brand?

Alex:  To me, authenticity is very important. I don't want to endorse products I don't genuinely like. That's why I was excited when Clarks reached out. I've been wearing Desert Boots for 25 years. Also, I like to travel a lot. I like to explore new cities by foot. I want to be able to walk around comfortably in a classic, iconic shoe. I travel from movie set to movie set, and I often live out of a suitcase. And this teaches you to be frugal. Whatever fits in that suitcase, that's all I can bring.

LV:  Is that the Swede in you?

Alex:  Maybe. But we consume way too many things in this society. Also, you give things more meaning when you live with them, and when you go on adventures with them. Like, these are my boots. I've been places with them. And when they fall apart, I'll buy a new pair. If you have the right stuff to begin with, you don't need more.

LV:  Going back to The Northman, that really sounds like a dream project.

Alex:  It is. It will be a rollercoaster ride. I can't wait to get back to Northern Ireland and get back to the production. It's also a very physically demanding project, so I have been training for, well, since a few months before production stopped.

LV: In a way, getting into a role, getting on a movie set, acting through it, the whole process of making a movie is a bit like a little adventure. You have to prep, you have to travel, often with people you don't know, and you have to push boundaries.

Alex:  Absolutely! A huge part of the appeal of this profession is you get to travel, and you meet amazing, interesting people from all over. And the uncertainty, you know? What was it, 12 years ago, I was in New York, and I'd never heard of Generation Kill. And then two days later I was on a plane to the Kalahari Desert to be out there for seven months to shoot the series. And I'll never forget the feeling, sitting on that plane, thinking, “Two days ago I didn't even know about this project, and here I am on my way to Southern Africa to spend seven months in the desert with 200 strangers.” It's very exciting.

LV:  What a feeling that must be!

Alex:  And every single job is like that. Every movie is different. Your part, the tone, the energy, the people – it's always different. And for someone like myself, who has that kind of wanderlust, who's always looking on the horizon, it's very attractive to never know just what the next adventure might be.

October 14, 2020:  Updated with the full interview courtesy of our friends at the ASkarsLibrary (x).

Fashion credits:

Photographs by Johan Sandberg Styling by Martin Persson Grooming Karin Westerlund @ Lundlund Hair Amanda Lund @ Lundlund Stylist’s assistant Isabelle Larsson Digital Daniel Lindgren Production Madeleine Mårtensson and Olle Öman @ Lundlund

Read the full interview by Timothy Small and see the photo shoot by Johan Sandberg in the October issue of L'Uomo, on newsstands from September 22nd.

Sources/Thanks:  Interview:  Timothy Small for L’Uomo Vogue (x), Photos:  Johan Sandberg for L’Uomo Vogue (x), artlistparis.com (x) via artlistparisnewyork instagram (x),  luomovogue instagram (x) &  atomomanagement.com (x) via atomomanagement instagram (x), our caps from artlistparisnewyork’s September 23, 2020 insta story (x, x)

[aweirdkindofyellow]

The Royal Invitation, Pt. 9

Aerowyn Matilde George Rothchester might seem like a very long name, but it definitely is not for a royal in the Kingdom of Dalewin.

After her grandfather, the beloved king, passed away, Aerowyn (also known as Winny) is called back from her art school in New York. She’s thrown back into her royal duties, expected to know what to do.

But with the Royal advisor on tour with the new king, Winny is left to figure things out with his stepson. The only problem, he has no idea what he’s doing, after all he’s only the lead singer in a band.

Co-written story with @scream-tears.

Chapter 9

Winny’s POV:

I brushed out the wrinkles in my rose coloured dress as we walked down the hallway. My heels were really slowing me down, I could barely walk. I had been up on my feet since six in the morning and it was excruciatingly tiring. If this was a taste of what the life of a ruler was, I never wanted to be Queen. All my life, I thought I would be prepared when the time came, but I was seriously doubting myself.

“Come on, princess,” Alex rushed me, about ten steps ahead of me, “we’re going to be late for the meeting.”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I literally cannot walk,” I seethed back, taking the smallest and most awkward of steps.

“Need me to carry you?” He raised his eyebrow at me teasingly.

“No,” I scoffed and tried taking a larger step.

Although I tried to do that, I couldn’t pick up my foot off the floor more. My heel managed to snag on the carpet. I immediately lost my balance. If I had had my normal walking capabilities, I would have easily stabilised myself. But I wasn’t that lucky. I barely managed to stop myself from falling over. If it hadn’t been for that small side table with flowers on it, I would have slapped on the cold marble.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to carry you?” Alex gave me an amused look.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to fire you?” I mocked and kicked off my heels, making his face fall. I technically couldn’t be seen like this, but I didn’t care anymore. “That’s right. I call the shots here, I’m not one of your crew members.”

“Alright, I’m just doing my job,” he defended himself and checked his watch. “We will be late now.”

“Well, that’s too bad for them,” I grumbled and followed him down the hallway again.

We were meeting with all the other advisors. I got why Alex was so set on being on time. He had also taken over for Garry in those meetings. The others didn’t really take him seriously. He had no experience, no knowledge about anything that related to the kingdom, and was literally the lead singer of a band. Not exactly advisor material. But Alex was set on proving himself.

When we finally reached the heavy double wooden doors, he was eager to get in.

“Hang on!” I yelped, slapping his hand away from the door knob.

He sighed loudly and turned to me with a fed up look. “What?”

I glared at him and put back on my shoes, grimacing at the way they made my ankles and toes burn again. Honestly, I did not feel like I could even dare to show my face at that meeting in the state I was in. My hair felt frizzy, my eyes felt heavy, and my skin felt sticky. But there was no time to take a second and freshen up. There was no time for anything.

“Oh, umm, wait a second.” Alex fumbled around with his clipboard for a second.

I watched, confused why he was now holding us back. Eventually, he reached out and started fixing my hair a little. First it was just simply pushing a lock of hair behind my ear, but then he started doing more. He tucked a few more pieces back into my hairdo and pulled a few other whisps out. Apparently I now also had a new stylist.

“Okay, good to go.” He gave me a thumbs up and opened the door without another warning.

It reeked of old white male in there. All three of them were sitting at the large dark wood table, leaning back in their chairs. They gave Alex one horrible look of disapproval, and continued to watch us silently take our seats. I was at the head of the table in the chair my grandpa and now my dad usually occupied. Alex was to my right, like he literally was my right hand man. Each one of us had a pen, a glass of water, and a folder with documents.

They all stared at me expectantly, snapping me out of a small trance.

“Oh, right, yes, umm, let us inaugurate this meeting,” I stumbled over my words, urging the first person to start talking.

“Yes,” the old man next to Alex sat up straight and opened his folder, “I need to bring the emergency financial budget to light.”

“Emergency financial budget?” I opened my own folder, hoping to find another name or something that would give me more information. But, no. It was literally called the emergency financial budget. Weren’t all budgets financial?

“You should have been given a document for you to review before this meeting.” He gave me a stern look.

I nodded and tapped my pen on the table. There had indeed been such a document. “And would you be willing to give a quick recap for the ones who may not have read it?”

He started using a scolding tone. “Miss. Aerowyn–”

“Princess Aerowyn,” Alex corrected, earning himself a few more mean glares.

“– may I inform you that it is your duty to make sure you come prepared to perform your responsibilities.”

“Mr. Dudley,” I responded sternly, “I was given fifteen minutes to read twenty different reports, each with a length of fifty pages or more. I believe it was your responsibility to provide me with a synopsis.”

The man across from Mr. Dudley showed that they still weren’t having any of it. “Why has this meeting been called if our own princess cannot even perform her duties?”

I ran a hand through my hair, messing up the work Alex had done just minutes before. I didn’t know what to do anymore, unruly advisors was not exactly a lesson I got. “I may not be your king, but I am still your authority.”

“We are better off spending our time waiting for the king to return that even try to progress now,” the third advisor added.

“Excuse me,” Alex butted in, “I will remind you to have some respect. While the king is celebrating his coronation – which is well deserved, may I add – Aerowyn is holding everything together here. All these responsibilities have been dropped on her with no advanced guidance.”

Mr. Dudley scoffed. “Public appearances surely do need a whole lot of leadership and command. Traipsing around–”

“I am begging you to hold that thought. Aerowyn has been in five different meetings since this morning and has merely made one public appearance. She has had to prepare for each one of these, including memorising a speech. I believe you have no right to discuss whether or not she is worthy of her authoritative power.”

“I believe that is exactly our job.”

Alex crossed his legs, his ankle on the knee of the other leg, and he leaned back. I almost thought he had given up, but then he came with a new strategy. Changing the subject. “I have a new preposition to make for the good of the country.”

Mr. Dudley gave him a nod, believing he had won this.

“As you know, I will be returning to the United States for the duration of two weeks in a few days time,” Alex started, catching me off guard. I didn’t know he was leaving, which was strange. Wasn’t I the one person that should know? “I propose Aerowyn comes with me.”

I watched as all their faces turned red. Scrap me thinking they were angered by Alex before, they were absolutely infuriated now. So much angry emotion for a group of 60-year-olds who believed I wasn’t worth their time and questions earlier. Turned out they actually knew what I did but just didn’t want to accept it. Who would have guessed?

“Absolutely not!” Mr. Dudley sputtered out angrily.

“It will be best for both her and the entire family and it’s associates,” Alex defended.

“Are you mad?” The man across from him sneered.

“I might be, but not in this case.”

The third shook his head and mumbled under his breath, “what was Garry thinking?”

“How about we leave personal attacks out of this? It would–”

“We cannot permit Aerowyn to leave. With both the King and Queen on their tour, we need somebody here to take care of matters. If she leaves right now, the family will seem weak. We simply cannot warrant this.”

Alex breathed in deeply and leaned forward, standing behind his point of view. “I hear your concerns and recognise them. However, you need to look at the bigger picture here. Would you rather have your princess crumble in the public eye, weakening the public image and confidence right at the start of the new king’s reign or would you rather have your princess leave for two weeks to a place she already lives during the year and have her come back stronger than ever?”

“Excuse me?!” I finally interrupted after watching from a distance for so long. All heads snapped in my direction. “Do I get a say in this?”

Alex relaxed and sat back in his chair again. “It’s your choice.”

“Aerowyn,” Mr. Dudley immediately pushed, “you can clearly see that this would not be appropriate!”

I didn’t say a word, and surprisingly they all stayed silent as well. It was the first moment of peace I had gotten in a long time. I reached out and grabbed the report from the table, bringing it to my lap. The four men continued to stare at me as I scanned the pages. I had no idea what I was reading. All I could do was softly rub my temple with one hand, my elbow on the armrest, messing up my hair even more, while the other hand shakily went to flip the page. Usually I had a very steady hand, but my body obviously thought that wasn’t necessary anymore.

Alex was right. It was my choice. But at the same time it wasn’t. Not even close. I had the authority to suddenly call for a holiday. I could give a few of my duties to other people. But those things weren’t the responsible things to do. As princess and future Queen of the Kingdom of Dalewin, I couldn’t just simply decide to leave. It wasn’t how it worked.

I looked up briefly, all their eyes still on me. I gave a quick wave. “Please, continue.”

There was just more tension and silence. I kept on reading. It was the least I could do. They all had things they wanted to discuss which I knew nothing about. So, they were going to have to say something, or else this meeting was just going to continue on without any talking.

“Maybe a few weeks in the United States isn’t a bad idea,” Mr. Dudley suddenly changed opinions.

Did I really look that bad? Was my appearance really screaming that I needed a break?

“Mr. Dudley, are you certain about this?” The man to my right seemed as shocked as I was.

“Alex– Mr. Gaskarth is correct.” He gave a nod in Alex’s direction. “The worst thing we can have right now with a new king in power is have the crown princess seem incapable. We can take care of matters for two weeks.”

“What about public appearances?”

“King Edward still has siblings who are a part of this family. It might also be the perfect time for Augustus to be introduced if he is willing.”

Something in me was worried that Augustus was being offered as my replacement. I didn’t want him to be overwhelmed with everything as well. But it was only the public appearances, I had to remind myself of that. Gus-Gus had been wanting to help out there for a while, but he had always been considered too young. He would be over the moon if he was given the chance. There was no way he’d let himself mess up.

“So,” Alex smirked at me, “what do you say?”

“Very well.” I closed the folder and put it back on the table.

“I believe that sorts that. We’ll convene in the near future to work through the details,” Mr. Dudley said, no longer mad but also not overly glad. Afterall, he wasn’t the one that won this. He then glanced at me. “If I may?”

I gave him approval through a nod.

“Meeting adjourned,” he called.

The three advisors left through the side door, back to their offices, while Alex and I went back out through the main door. I walked out as composed as possible. My feet were still hurting like a bitch in my shoes.

As soon as the heavy door closed behind us, I jumped on Alex and hugged him tightly. “I could kiss you right now!”

He chuckled, “I won’t stop you.”

“But I won’t.” I let go of him again, continuing from my previous statement and excitedly kicking off my shoes.

“Well, that isn’t disappointing at all.”

“I’m sure it is.” I started skipping down the hallway. “When are we leaving?”

Alex started speed walking after me. “In five days.”

“Five days… two weeks…” I mumbled to myself before spinning around to face Alex. “What are you actually doing back in the US?”

“Blink-182 has an opening act cancelation, we’ve been called in to replace,” he shrugged.

“Blink-182?”

“Yeah, they’re a band–”

“I’m not oblivious, Alex, I know who they are.” I restarted skipping down the hallway quickly.

“You’re forgetting your shoes!” He snatched the pair off the floor, one against the left wall and the other further down the hall and more to the right.

“Fuck the shoes!”

[while-my-tardis-gently-weeps]

Eurovision 2017: Initial Thoughts (3/13)

Now that the songs for all the participating countries are announced, here are my initial impressions of each piece. The stand-out entries (so far) are in in bold, and the ones in italics are ones I’m keeping my eyes on in the coming weeks but didn’t quite make the mark. 

In alphabetical order:

ALBANIA - Lindita “World” - On first listen, I liked it, but it didn’t really leave a lasting impression on me. Above average Eurovision ballad, but nothing more.

ARMENIA - Artsvik “Fly With Me” -  Okay song, forgettable.

AUSTRALIA -  Isaiah Firebrace “Don’t come easy” - Australia brings it again! 3 for 3 from down under since they joined Eurovision. Only heard the music video version though so I’m curious how he will do in live performance. It definitely didn’t impress me nearly as much as Dami Im’s did last year, but I was sold on her live performance last year, not the recorded version.

AUSTRIA -  Nathan Trent “Running on air” - Thoroughly average pop ballad with good energy and beat, but it’s been growing on me. A LOT. I blame it on the gorgeous Austrian mountain backdrop in the music video. Austria should definitely keep that up in the live staging if they know what’s good for them. I can’t be the only one sold on the scenery porn.

AZERBAIJAN -  DiHaj “Skeletons” - Good, but didn’t make much of an impact on me. Withholding further commentary until I listen to it more.

BELARUS - NaviBand “Historyja Majho Zyccia” - A charming little piece, bonus points for not singing in English. I don’t see it winning Eurovision, but it’s absolutely delightful to listen to.

BELGIUM -  Blanche “City lights” - Love it! Though not as much as a lot of other people seem to. It’s unique and ethereal and showcases her voice very well, but it’s a bit one-tone and kind of resembles dozens of other songs in the same style. Not to mention that it will fit right in among the Skins soundtrack. That said, I see it doing very well and it’ll be a much-welcomed breath of fresh air after listening to generic eurovision ballad after generic eurovision ballad.

BULGARIA - Kristian Kostov “Beautiful mess” - A lot better than I expected, but to be entirely honest my expectations were very low going in. It will depend on his live performance I expect.

CROATIA -  Jacques Houdek “My friend” - Nice, but boring.

CYPRUS - Hovig “Gravity” - Powerful, energetic song that can do extremely well with the right staging, (like Russia 2016 or Sweden 2015, though this one is definitely more along the veins of the former rather than later. That might be my fondness for Mans talking though). 

CZECH REPUBLIC -  Martina Bárta “My turn” - Um, no. Not feeling it at all. I don’t know if anything can fix this one. 

DENMARK - Anja “Where I Am” - I like her voice, I like her performance, I like everything except this boring snoozefest of a song. There are those ballads of yesteryear that were propelled to high rankings by a phenomenal performance, but this one is just too average for that to happen. It might carry her past the semis on a good night but I won’t hold my breath for anything more than that.

ESTONIA - Koit Toome & Laura  “Verona” - Sounds a bit retro, but not in a bad way. Laura’s facial expression during the chorus bothers me a bit though.

FINLAND -  Norma John “Blackbird” - I love Finland for always taking a risk. Doesn’t always work but I appreciate the effort even if the song crashes and burns spectacularly. Wonderfully dark and definitely something I would listen to normally but I’m not sure if it will keep my attention sufficiently enough during a lengthy (Semi-)final. 

FRANCE - Alma “Requiem” - One of my personal favs this year. Fell in love with the tune from the start. Would I had preferred it if they stuck with the original version? Hell yes. Do I think version with English added is as horrendous as everybody says, not really but everything will depend on the live performance I think. I’m 100% behind another song but I’ll be hoping and praying that she does well in the final.  

GEORGIA -  Tako Gachechiladze “Keep the faith” - This song annoys me greatly. 

GERMANY - Levina “Perfect life” - I have to stop forgiving otherwise-generic pop tunes for having lyrics that tick my fancy despite everything. That said, it could have been worse.

GREECE - Demy “This is love” - Good but a bit too generic. 

HUNGARY -  Joci Pápai “Origo” - Not exactly my cup of tea at first listen, but it’s rapidly growing on me, to the point that it’s squeezing past other entries to be one of my favs before I knew it. Can do without the rap; it’s extremely jarring. That chorus though. SUPERB.

ICELAND - Svala “Paper” - I quite like it, but don’t exactly love it (yet?). Need to give it a few more listens but I can see it growing on me a lot more in the coming weeks.

IRELAND -  Brendan Murray “Dying to try” - It’s growing on me. Mostly because of his voice. The song itself is a bit forgettable but not so disastrously average that it can’t be salvaged by a live performance that knocks it out of the park. But even so the left side of the final voting table might be a bit of a stretch.

ISRAEL -  Imri Ziv “I feel alive” - It’s okay but doesn’t stay in your memory for long.

ITALY -  Francesco Gabbani “Occidentali’s Karma” - Remember what I said about being 100% behind one song? WELL THIS IS IT! I was already sold by the joyous, fun, and all-around spectacular performance at San Remo, but then I read the lyrics. AND I AM BLOWN AWAY. This man is a genius. This is Italian pop at its very best even without understanding the lyrics, complete with a staging that can do very well in Kyiv. But with the lyrics? Such a clever critique of Western appropriation and commercialization of Eastern philosophies disguised as a perfect explosion of effervescent joy. My only worries: he needs to do some major cutting to make it fit within the time limit, and there won’t be a live orchestra in Kyiv for the “ale!” moment with raised bows, so I’m crossing my fingers that everything will come together perfectly even with these restraints, and that there will be improvements in the staging that help carry the messages in the lyrics across to a non-Italian-speaking audience. (and the length of this alone is a testament of how much more I love this one above all other entries. Italy2018 please!)

LATVIA - Triana Park “Line” - Latvia’s been on a roll since Aminata! It’s not quite on the level of the last two years imho, but great song nonetheless.

LITHUANIA -  Fusedmarc “Rain of revolution” - ...Aaaaaand right from my most favorite to least. No. Just, no. 

MACEDONIA -  Jana Burčeska “Dance alone” - I won’t cringe if it comes on while I’m partying at a club, but I won’t love the DJ for putting it on either.

MALTA -  Claudia Faniello “Breathlessly” - Another boring ballad stuck in the dead zone between “not bad” and “not great.”

MOLDOVA -  SunStroke Project “Hey, Mamma!” - Oh this is fun! I can dance to this one. Not masterpiece material but it doesn’t aspire to be one either. It brings the party, and that’s all it needs to do for a job well-done, I’d say.

MONTENEGRO -  Slavko Kalezić “Space” - I would rather spend the time staring into blank space. No thanks. 

THE NETHERLANDS -  OG3NE “Lights and shadows” - Like Estonia’s entry, this one is also a bit retro, with a dash of Glee thrown in as well. I know I definitely want them to qualify, and probably even end up on the left side of the chart during the finals, but something about the song just doesn’t quite do it for me.

NORWAY - JOWST “Grab the moment” - It’s growing on me. A lot of Norway’s songs tend to be growers for me. I don’t think it will quite get there though. 

POLAND - Kasia Moś “Flashlight” - This can either be a dark horse or a disaster depending on how she performs live and the staging. I fell in love with the music video version but the live version from the national final left me a bit flat. We’ll wait and see I suppose. 

PORTUGAL -  Salvador Sobral “Amar Pelos Dois” - Marvellously quaint, reminiscent of one’s best dreams under the Mediterranean sky, best enjoyed with headphones and your eyes closed...WAIT. “Your eyes closed?” Yeah, that’s my main worry with this song. Someone please get that boy a good stylist so that he doesn’t look like a library-dwelling classics major pulled on-stage last minute after a week of all-nighters. And add some better staging too. But, yeah, best wishes for a top-five finish Portugal!

ROMANIA -  Ilinca feat. Alex Florea “Yodel it!” - I am reminded of how much I came to love “My Slowanie” from Poland. It never pretends to be anything deep or profound, but Ilinca just sells it so well. 

RUSSIA -  Yulia Samoylova “Flame is burning” - Funny that Russia chose a song with this title... Politics and transparent appeal for sympathy points to counteract booing and flaming aside, it’s an okay song and she’s not necessarily a bad singer, but by GOD if you can’t even fake passable English by hiring any half-way decent diction coach then stick to Russian!

SAN MARINO -  Valentina Monetta & Jimmie Wilson “Spirit of the night” - It’s fine, I guess. Just heard it again in the last hour but already forgot how it went.

SERBIA -  Tijana Bogićević “In too deep” - See last comment.

SLOVENIA -  Omar Naber “On my way” - *Facepalm*. Enough said.

SPAIN -  Manel Navarro “Do it for your lover” - Makes the last one I commented on sound decent, if not good, by comparison.

SWEDEN -  Robin Bengtsson “I can’t go on” - What happened Sweden? You’ve been going downhill since Mans in 2015. I always want to vote for Sweden because they host it so well but this definitely sound like they are trying their hardest to avoid Sweden2018. Not even my everlasting love for Petra (+Mans) as the host will make this less cringeworthy. 

SWITZERLAND -  Timebelle “Apollo” - I quite like it. Despite myself. The red dress she wore during live performance certainly doesn’t hurt. 

UKRAINE -  O.Torvald “Time” - Definitely refreshing, and mad points to Ukraine for the second entry in a row that’s different from the Eurovision norm, but this isn’t exactly good rock is it? 

UNITED KINGDOM -  Lucie Jones “Never give up on you” - Good showing for UK. In general? Not so much. Kind of like Denmark this year, really, with a combination of good vocalist and subpar song, but this song is a step (or two. or three) down from Denmark’s. 

Top 3 Picks:

Italy - “Occidentali’s Karma,” Francesco Gabbani

France - “Requiem,” Alma

Portugal - “Amar Pelos Dois,” Salvador Sobral

(I’m noticing a theme for my top picks...)