#also i always worry how that comes across when you're total strangers :

[wernerherzogs]

train wasn't delayed more than usual AND i got a pretty girl's luggage off the train for her... 10/10 polish railway experience

[emeritus-fuckers]

hiii, this request may be hard, but i've been having a hard time dealing with trauma lately, remembering things in the past, so i wanted to ask for some papas and seestor with an s/o who has been sa'd. thank you in advance💗

Hi, please don't worry about the request being hard. This blog is a safe space. And if we can provide you any comfort at all, we will try our best. - Nosferatu

Papas and Sister Imperator SA comfort headcanons

TW: mentions of sexual assault. cannibalism for young Imperator.

Primo (he/him)

He knows. Even before you tell him anything, he can tell from how you're acting. But, of course, he doesn't pressure you, only telling you that if you ever need to talk about anything at all, he will never even think about judging you.

And once you do come to him, he offers you a seat in the comfiest amrchair imaginable and a cup of tea he made himself.

He doesn't rush you. He understands it takes time. And he gives it to you.

Once you start talking, he listens. He doesn't interrupt you. You need time. And he gives you all the time you need.

He'll ask if you're okay with him touching you right now. If you agree, he's gonna hold you tightly until you tell him to let go.

If you don't want to be touched, he'll offer you a plushie he once got on tour instead.

He'll speak softly to you, reminding and assuring you that none of what happened was your fault.

He offers you a few meetings with a really good therapist so you can handle your issues with a professional. He waits outside the room while you have your appointments.

He doesn't look at you differently, he loves you just as much and he will be beside you as long as you need. Take all the time you need to heal. He shall be there, offering support.

Secondo (he/him)

"Amore, tell me." His tone loving but firm. He knows something is wrong, but he didn't want to push you to open. Now you are there eyes red from crying and he just can't watch anymore, he wants to help.

He sits across from you, paints removed and completely serious. "You can trust me with whatever it is." He pauses for a second "if you want to, that is.."

So you tell him. You notice Secondo clench his fist slightly. He makes a mental note to go with his Ghouls and deal with this person. He takes a breath, knowing that soon that person will never hurt you again, and then relaxes. He looks at you with such love and sincerity. "You did not deserve that. You must understand I am angry at the person who did this to you. Never you. I am so sorry that happened to you."

He asks a few questions so he knows how to help you best. "I will help you heal, I promise you amore, no matter how dark the bad times are, I will always be there. We will make the best of the good days yes?"

He also offers to get you the best therapist, but thats totally up to you and on your terms, the offer is always there.

He will take you away on peaceful holidays, if that helps, to your favourite places in the world.

Or he will just stay with you at home and be there for you. If you want to be hugged he will hold you close to him. His embrace feels safe, you know he will protect you and be there for you.

Terzo (he/they)

Terzo is no stranger to trauma and how its effects can linger. He understands it is a long process to heal, some never do heal completely. So when you come to him while struggling with the effects of trauma, he offers his ear if you would like to talk about it.

If you are open to telling them about what is haunting your mind, they will soften immediately. Listening closely to your story and what happened that horrible day. Sitting close and keeping his eyes on you, so you know you have his full attention.

“I am... so incredibly sorry you had to experience such an awful person dolcezza... you deserved so much better than to be taken advantage of like that. May I hug you?”

They will hold you if you’re open to being held in the moment, promising that he will help however you allow him too. He will gently ask questions about any signs he needs to watch for so he knows when to use what kind of help. Some situations you will want to be hugged and touched, but they’re aware in some that might do more harm than good.

He will support you in every possible way on your healing journey…and if the person or people who hurt you so randomly go missing?

He has no knowledge of where they might have gone…none at all.

Copia (he/him)

He can tell something's wrong. But he's not sure how to approach it without making you uncomfortable.

And so, he comes up with a brilliant plan that can't go wrong.

He writes you a sweet note about how much he loves you and how he's always on your side, no matter what.

He then gives one of his rats the mission of delivering the note to you. Said rat stays with you as emotional support as you tear up at the note.

You meet him that same evening an cling to him, sobbing as you tell him what happened.

He's absolutely heartbroken that something so terrible could ever happen to you. Or to anyone, honestly.

He's not exactly sure what he's doing, but he does his very best to organize a nice, safe environment for you.

He tries to offer you simple yes or no choices.

Would you like a snack? Would you like a drink? Would you like to watch your comfort movie with him? Would you like him to hold you? Would you prefer he gives you some space?

He asks around for therapist recommendations and tries to get you an appointment with the best one if you agree.

He's gonna do everything he can to make sure you feel safe and loved. Because you are.

Old Nihil (he/him)

Unlike his younger self he doesn't wait for you to go to him about it.

He can see your pain, Nihil completely adores you and he wants to help you heal.

He knows now to just talk to you about it. He'll never push you to tell him but he does ask you if you are okay, if you need to talk.

Which you do. He'll hold you if you want him too but he also knows that may not help things at all, so he takes his lead from you.

He listens to you talk and nods to show he is listening.

He doesn't ask or push, he just lets you tell him whatever you are comfortable telling him. "It's okay, you can let it all out... whatever you need my love."

"I will do whatever I can, you have me now" He smiles such a warm loving smile. Something about him, the calming smell of incense allows you to relax slightly. You know that for all everyone just sees Nihil as a man way past his prime, you know the real him. This man loves you, he will protect you and he will burn the world down just to save you.

He does all he can to help with your healing, he goes for walks with you, or just spends time with you while you each do your own thing. Everything he can to show that you that aren't alone in this.

Young Nihil (he/him)

It takes you a while to open up to him, you can see how wild he is and how he solves his problems with drinking and parties and so on.

So you just assume he won't be able to help.

But one night you can't deal with it by yourself anymore. You tell him that you need him, that you have to tell him about something. Nihil just nods, he had a feeling something was wrong, he just didn't know how to approach you about it back then. He's terrified of making things worse.

He sits you down on the sofa and sits next you "I know you're suffering, I can see it. C'mon, babe, tell me whats wrong?"

You start to open up to him and Nihil falls silent so you can talk. His expression surprises you, one of total understanding and empathy. While his trauma was of a different kind he can understand the scars it leaves behind and he is actually very empathetic when it comes to those he loves.

"I'm here for you, just tell me what I can do. Babe none of this is your fault, I'm so sorry you had to go through that" He holds out his hip flask and you shake your head and he nods understanding you heal in your way. "I swear to you, whatever I can do to help I will but please don't feel like you have to keep stuff from me. I'm in this with you babe, I'm always going to be here for you." He holds his hand out for yours. He won't be offended at all if you don't take it, he understands, but if you do he'll give it a tight squeeze.

Young Sister Imperator (she/her)

She will have her ghouls hunt down whoever did it to you. Orders them to bring that monster's head, heart and whatever body parts they used to assault you with.

Keeps the head hidden away in her office as a trophy. Burns whatever they touched you with. And the heart? She eats it in a stew served on the bed of mashed cauliflower with a side of roasted brussel sprouts. Usually she eats beef hearts this way, but she's willing to use a different kind of meat if needed.

Her ghouls get to eat the rest of the body while she comforts you. She stays with you, even if it means her work piling up. You'll watch movies, if you'd like. Or listen to music while either cuddling or sitting together in bed.

She'll read to you, let you hold your head in her lap as she plays with your hair, soothing you to sleep.

She's not the best at comforting, but she'll be there for you and do everything in her power to give you what you need.

Old Sister Imperator (she/her)

She reacts in a slightly less murderous way than she would in her youth. When she was younger, she wanted the assaulter done first and foremost. As she got older, she became more calculated and less impulsive. The person who did this to you still dies, of course, but she spends more time with you first.

She asks you if there's anything specific you need and will recommend you the best therapists available.

She follows your lead on how close she gets and whether or not she gets to hold you. The last thing she wants to do is to stress you out.

She makes sure to organize a safe space for you. Pillows, blankets, your favorite snacks and drinks, all of it.

She only allows a handpicked group of trusted Ghouls or Siblings near you if she absolutely has to leave. But if she can do anything to stay with you, she will.

She won't get too close if you don't want her to. But she will be in the room if you need her.

She has your favorite music or movies playing for you.

If you ask her to hold you, she'll keep you in her arms like the most precious treasure. She gives very secure hugs.

~

Papas I, IV and Sister Imperator written by Nosferatu.

Papa III written by Death.

Papa II and Papa Nihil written by Nyx.

Due to the subject of the post we've decided not to include the taglist or color-coding this post.

[scarletttries]

Woo Jin NSFW Alphabet (Bloodhounds)

Pairing: Hong Woo-Jin (Bloodhounds) x Reader

Rating: Fluffy Smut

Word Count: 3.2k

Author's Note: As promised here is the NSFW Woo Jin Alphabet. I love these boys so much I might have to do some fluff alphabets for them too, and I think I'm going to do some Peacemaker and Stranger Things fluff alphabets too so watch out for those! I'm on holiday at the moment and am finding alphabets much easier to write than full fics so please feel free to request a fluff or NSFW alphabet with any character you might enjoy! :)

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

A man who knows how to be charming, even when he's just rambling like an idiot, Woo Jin's aftercare involves a lot of talking. Be prepared for him to recap his top moments, ask your opinion on every little thing he did, making sure he knows exactly what to keep and what to change up next time to keep becoming better and better for you. He gets clingy too, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you flush against him, spooning you as he chirps excitedly in your ear about how amazing you were and how much he loves that he gets to do this with you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Woo Jin's body is a testament to the efforts he's put into it day in and day out, but he still feels surprisingly insecure for a man in such good shape, like no matter how strong he is, he'll always be surrounded by people that are stronger. Thankfully the first time he takes off shirt in front of you, maybe he's invited you to a boxing match for the first time, and you jaw drops, eyes racking over his chiseled chest and abs, he suddenly feels so much better (you can guarantee he won the fight that day.) From then on he'll find any excuse to take his shirt off in front of you, spurred on by the wanting way you lick your lips, knowing you'll be curled up against him in no time.

Speaking of your lips, Woo Jin can't imagine a pair could ever be more perfect. He was a goner the first time he saw you smile, and when you laughed at something he said? Heart eyes for days! The sound of you giggling at his jokes is his favourite in the world and every time you smile at him he feels ten foot tall. The first time he worked up the nerve to finally kiss you, he almost couldn't believe how warm and soft your mouth felt against his, an inviting feeling he now can't go a day without. And when you map a constellation of kisses across his chest, sinking to your knees to put your lips to work, well let's just say that boy has never been happier in his life.

C= Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Woo Jin isn't exactly shy once you're at the stage of sleeping together, and he absolutely loves feeling like he's marking you as his by cuming inside or on you. When you first start sleeping together, he's worried about finishing inside you, instead letting himself spill over your chest or stomach, quickly offering to help you clean up as an excuse to get to feel your skin even more. But when you first ask him to cum in inside you, the feeling of being buried inside you as you both cum together, well that might just be his favourite, feeling totally connected to you and as close to you as he possibly can. Sometimes he'll aim to get straight into a second round so he doesn't have to choose between being inside you or all over you.

D = Dirty Secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Woo Jin's got a big mouth that's always running, and a big appetite, and all that leads to him having an oral fixation when it comes to you. He could happily make out with you for hours, feeling positively obsessed with having your lips on his, constantly interrupting your day to steal a kiss if he thinks it's been too long. In bed he'll constantly give you hickies across your chest where only you can see, or if the pleasures too much he'll just barely sink his teeth into your shoulder, his mouth needing to feel you at all times. If you return the favour, biting and sucking on his neck when he's inside you, prepare to hear the most strangled moan of your name as he desperately fights back his immediate climax. He'll be praised you every second as well, telling you how perfect you feel, even when his mouth is full and you can barely understand a word.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

Woo Jin has a little more experience than Gun Woo, occasionally meeting women in bars and bringing them home for the night when he was younger. You'd be his first real relationship though, the first person he's wanted to sleep with again and again, and to keep impressing. He'll know enough from his previous encounters to make your first time together very special, but from then on his focus is learning everything about what you like, figuring out exactly how to make you cry out his name as loudly as possible.

F = Favourite Position (this goes without saying)

Honestly, it is probably just his head between your legs, watching your whole body shake as he makes you cum on his tongue for the second time today. But he also loves being behind you, wrapping his arms around you so you are pressed to his chest so he can keep cover your lips, neck, shoulders with his kiss while he fucks into you. He loves the strength he feels from being able to move your body around in bed, his muscles coming in very handy when he wants to pin you down and keep you exactly where he wants you, to make sure you feel absolutely everything.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Woo Jin barely has a serious bone in his body, his happy grin on his face in every moment you two spend together. He would throw out the most ridiculous compliments and praises when you're in bed together, the whole interaction so fun and lighthearted even though it clearly also means so so much to him. He'll be giggly and euphoric afterwards too, practically play wrestling in bed with you just to keep having a reason to feel you beneath him.

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they?)

Woo Jin cares a lot about style and fashion, taking a lot of care in the way he looks and always keeping everything tidy for you.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Woo Jin might not show intimacy in the serious way others would, but it doesn't take long for you to realise his lighthearted jokes and the way he messes around when he's getting undressed with you is his way of his being vulnerable and connecting with you on the level he feels most intimate at. He might try and be more romantic and serious if you wanted, but it's hard not to feel special when he gives you that goofy grin he doesn't get to wear very often and saves for his perfect moments with you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He's an excitable kind of guy, so Woo Jin's no stranger to his own company, entertaining whatever thoughts he can conjure - from the day you met, I can guarantee you that every image will be of you, he's just that obsessed. He'll definitely fantasize about you whenever you have to spend any length of time apart, getting easily riled up when he starts thinking about how much he misses your lips all over him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

If you're into it, Woo Jin can enjoy getting a little rough and possessive in bed - he loves being able to pin your hands above your head as he bucks his hips against yours, asking you to tell you him that you're his over and over again. Boys definitely got a praise kink too, every time you tell how good he's making you feel he'll make it his personal mission to somehow make you feel even better. And oh my god if you called him 'Sir' in bed, that bit of marine pride would drive him absolutely insane.

Finally, if you agreed with it, I think Woo Jin would love to wake you up by going down on you, wanting you to wake up in the best possible mood, and feeding into his love of feeling like you and your body are all his.

L = Location (favourite places to do it)

Despite his attitude I think Woo Jin would mostly play it safe and have the most fun just sharing nights together in either of your apartments, where he can really take his time and feel safe to explore everything with you. The exception to that is when you come see him at Boxing matches, or even just training at the gym, he'll always want to show off for you, and gets all excited seeing you cheer him on, supporting him and thinking he can do anything - when he wins, he'll definitely sneak you into the locker room for a private moment so he can show you just how much he appreciates your cheerleading.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Honestly it would be a shorter list to write what you do that doesn't get Woo Jin going! As above, any time he sees you cheering him on or supporting him it definitely turns him on, your support making him feel so good and loved. The same goes for when he's able to make you laugh with his silly comments and jokes, it just makes him feel like you really get him and that he can be himself with you, every opportunity to be open and intimate with you one that he wants to really make the most of. It comes from a place of feeling a bit insecure in himself, like he's been a runner up his whole life and finally here comes you, making him feel like a winner and the luckiest guy in the world every single day.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

We've established Woo Jin can get a little insecure and jealous, so he wouldn't want to do anything that would feel like sharing you with someone else, wanting you to belong solely to each other. Other than that the only thing that could really turn him off is if he thought you weren't really feeling it, your comfort and pleasure the sexiest thing in the world to him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) - oral fixation, tries to talk, vibrations work

This man lives to give. He needs something to occupy his mouth at all times, and there's nothing he loves more than putting his tongue to work between your legs, feeling you tremble at his touch, hearing you moan out his name and tell him he's the best at this. He's constantly telling you how good you look during sex, and that doesn't stop when he's going down on you, the vibrations from his non-stop monologue of flirting teasing every nerve in your body. You'll see flashes of that cheeky smile as you tell him you're ready for him to fuck you, but he just shakes his head and tells you he's not done yet.

He'll be eternally grateful when you return the favour too, the moment your tongue meets his tip maybe the only time in his life when his mind is blank and he finally stops talking - only for a moment before the praises spill out again amongst pants of your name, and confessions of just how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) - face/rough/energetic

Woo Jin is an athletic and agile man, and that would carry through to the bedroom. He's so excitable that it's like a whirlwind as he rips off clothes and covers every inch of your body in his kisses, pace frantic and rough when he's finally inside you. Sometimes he'll slow it down though, when you roll on top of him first thing in the morning or he comes home from a particularly long day, drained and looking for the comfort of you slowly riding him as he spends the whole night chasing your lips with his, arms wrapped around you so you never get too far away.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) -

Woo Jin is so obsessed with you that sometimes he just needs a quickie; he knows you only have ten minutes before you need to be out the door to meet your friends, but he's been craving you all day and he feels like if he doesn't get to feel and taste you for another five hours it might just kill him! He's strong enough to press you up against the nearest wall, wrapping your legs around his shoulders so he can taste you before he brings you to his waist and pounds into you mercilessly, making sure you're both satisfied but you still get to leave on time - even if your legs feel more like jelly than you would like.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Despite having lived an incredibly dangerous life (with some very close calls) Woo Jin has learned nothing - he will take any risk and experiment in any way you suggested if you asked him with a smile. He wouldn't necessarily be the one to suggest something new, but he'd definitely take the risk of being together in public somewhere if he felt like he really needed you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Woo Jin trains to bounce back quickly in the ring, between rounds of boxing, so he's always ready for a round two pretty quickly, never wanting the moment between you two to end.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He wouldn't own any toys himself, but if he ever found out you had a vibrator he would beg you to let him use it on you, absolutely mesmerized by your reactions to its touch. He would definitely want to introduce it to your sleepy morning sex, just to help you wake up in the happiest way.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

It takes one look at Woo Jin's devilish smile to know this man would be the worst (and best) tease. He'd love touching you oh so gently and watching you react, joking about how badly you need him when he's barely even done anything. Lives for making you beg for him to actually fuck you, teasingly saying he thinks you're not ready and need him to make you cum again on his fingers. When he's feeling particularly mischievous he loves being able to pin your hands and straddle your hips, taking his sweet time sliding into you and watching you squirm, unable to move your hips to hurry him along.

When the tables are turned however, he is an absolute baby. He gets so pathetic when you make him wait, if you hover him with your entrance just out of reach, chuckling at his attempts to lift his hips to feel you. Very quickly starts pleading and begging for you to touch him, telling you how bad he needs you because only you can make him feel this good.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Woo Jin has a big mouth, that never stops running - his moans are loud from the minute you shift onto his lap until his final thrust, interspersed with the a long stream of the sweetest words you could ever want to here, praising everything about your body, your personality, your soul and the way you look and sound and feel around his dick. Even afterwards the compliments don't stop coming until he's fallen asleep for the night.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for this character) - constantly has you on a facetime call when he's out living his life, even if it's all day - > phone sex.

Even though it's inevitable that sometimes you have to spend a little bit of time apart, Woo Jin views missing you as completely unacceptable. So whenever he has to be away from you, he'll start a video call with you and just talk to you all day while he's out living his life, like a little one person vlog. He just wants you to see everything about his day and know exactly what you're up to, even if the call has to last all day. Any time he's in his little apartment alone and you can't come over he'll get you on his phone, propping you up so he can see everything you're doing and vice versa.

It wouldn't take too many weeks of this constant company before one night he starts pleading about how much he wishes you were sleeping over, and you can see him subconsciously palming himself through his pyjamas. So you'd slip your camisole off your shoulders and ask him exactly what he'd be doing if he was with you right now, his eyes bulging wide at the realisation that this is actually happening. Now if you're apart he can't sleep without touching himself over the phone to you and telling you all the ways he wants to make you feel good when he sees you tomorrow.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

Woo Jin's pretty tall and muscular, so every part of him would probably be a bit bigger than average ;)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Woo Jin's craving for you is relentless, most of his waking moments filled with thoughts of your beauty and kindness, and often that translates into wanting to please you and feel you. If you ever made the slightest suggestion that you were in the mood, he'd be immediately ready to go, but sometimes all he wants to do is cuddle up with you, resting his head on your lap while you play with his hair, or having you lie against his chest while his fingertips lightly trace shapes on your arm - it's all wonderful quality time for him.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

It tends to be the two ends of the spectrum for Woo Jin - half the time he'll be immediately unconscious, the other half he'll be so excited about having a great time with you that he'll be buzzing with energy, playfully rolling around with you in bed and smiling ear to ear as he pours out every thought he's ever had and tries to learn absolutely everything about you.

[cat3ch1sm]

my apologies if your requests aren’t open but may i please have a headcanon/scenario of sleeping or cuddling with l in front of the task force? claims that it helps him think better i dunno just feeling soft for baby boy l rn

🌵| bro this is so cute wtfjshdjshyj- i tried to make l as baby as possible so some aspects may be a bit OOC? im sorry :(

🍃| my requests r always open unless I say otherwise (for more info click here)! no need for an apology<3 i hope u enjoy this short little scenario with I and reader cuddling!

cuddling with l! headcanons

· l will absolutely never say this to your face, but he simply adores cuddling with you (you can tell anyway)! he loves the intimacy of your body wrapped in his arms and just feels so safe and warm with you. cuddling with you just gives I a rush he never gets to experience often.

· however- he doesn't really like to cuddle in front of the task force; he wants to keep his image as a stoic and passive detective cemented. although, if you randomly decide to waltz into his lap or something just cause, he won't make any attempt to push you away. he will literally just keep functioning as normal with you lying there- imagine him just leaning forward towards his desk and reaching his arms over you to work on his computer

· he loves the little kisses you plant on his cheeks and nose whenever you're lying in his lap. when you cup his pale face in your hands and kiss him all over he literally just doesn't know how to react. l will just be like 'wait what, someone is kissing me rn??? tf do i do'

· but like not in a rude or weird way. just like omg wtf there's a person in my lap and i want to keep them happy so badly but idk wtf to do

· so that mostly results in l awkwardly stroking your hair and doing the best he can to hide the rising blush on his cheeks.

· cute little flushed l

· the first time you initiated cuddles, he literally froze. like, completely stiffened up. l is obviously a stranger to physical affection, and had no idea whatsoever how to respond. he kinda just wrapped his arm around you and rubbed ur arm like he was trying to comfort you or something

· don't worry- l is way better at cuddling with you now. of course, he did extensive research because he apparently just can't pick up on things like that on his own LMFAO

· put ur head on his chest. it will make him so happy bro, and you love to hear his heartbeat

· you running your hand through his dark unkempt hair is also very nice to him. sometimes l will even ask you to do it again

· on rougher or longer days, l will go straight to you without you having to initiate anything first. l rarely sleeps, and when he falls asleep in your arms it thrills you to no end of course, you can't pass up the chance to put his hair in tiny little pigtails while he sleeps

· whenever you're the one on the verge of sleep, he'll whisper sweet little nothings in your ear- but only when you're alone.

· most often, he's the big spoon- although he secretly adores being the little spoon. tbh he can't decide what he likes to be best

· ur most common position when you guys r in the bed is him sitting up and leaning against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him while you wrap your arms around his waist, legs stretched out as well in between his with your head on his chest and cheek against his body.

· l loves when you do the thing where he's sitting in his swivel chair just working as usual, and you come up behind him and peer down at him, tilting your head down to look at him lovingly while he rolls his head back to meet your gaze as you kiss him on the lips

· sometimes he's contrary about cuddling. he'll wanna be like, "no, I don't have time to cuddle. my work is very important, y/n." but obviously you know he wants it anyway, so you totally ignore him and climb into his lap

· also, sometimes you'll go and cuddle with him in his chair just to reach out, push off the desk with your arms, and send the both of you rolling like mad across the room. it catches l off guard every time and it cracks you up

🌲| k may have gone a bit overboard anyway I HOPE U ENJOYED <33

[kiridarling]

𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂!

izuku midoriya | tw!guns, single mom!reader, bouncer!izuku, domestic stuffs, tit sucking, mommy!calling ah, AND daddy!calling oh my, breeding kink, breaking the bed (futon). minors dni!

— 5.4k words

“When’s the last time someone touched you like this, hmm?”

The alley is dark.

There's a disconcerting feeling as you step deeper into the quiet darkness,

You turn to look at the door you entered this dank place from, but it's just as dark and grimy as the walls. You're almost positive that if you rested a hand against them, it would return pitch black, and if you stood in one spot for more than five minutes, the sticky booze would glue your heels to the floor. You're surprised when it doesn't.

"Hand over your wallet and no one gets hurt, pretty lady."

He's a smarmy looking bastard and as thin as they come. It’s clear this isn’t something he does on the regular, the pointed gun quivering so much you worry a trembling might slip and pull the trigger. And you fucking freeze, blood running below zero and heart plummeting because why you?

And fuck, you’ve got a kid at home with a babysitter, and there are many outcomes to this situation, none of them too cute.

"I said hand it over," he grunts, pressing forwards. Your back hits the grimy brick wall as your eyes dart to the mouth of the alley, where life continues, where cars race past, but no one sees a damn thing. Fuck. Fuck.

And it's not like you have much—hell, you may be a mother, but you know how to party. You squeeze your eyes shut, grip tightening around your purse as you clumsily fumble through it and the man steps closer. You toss all you have to his feet. A fucking twenty. He raises an eyebrow before eyeing your watch. He lets out an unimpressed snort.

"That it?"

You nod, taking a shaky step back.

"Well, that ain't fuckin' enough."

There's a click and you're positive it's him turning off the safety. His face twists like he's about to shoot a bullseye, and you squeeze your eyes as tight as they can go.

Until the looming shadow of the stranger disappears, followed by a sound that's distinctly skin on skin. Er—skin on bone.

You don't watch the fight. Frankly, you don't want to, and you still get to hear your protector spew a litany of curses and disrespectful phrases that should really only come from someone's mother. You don't even open your eyes, still screwed shut with a vice grip around your purse and wallet.

"Um, excuse me Miss? Are you alright?"

Your protector's eyes are much bigger than you expect them to be—and green. You realize you remember seeing those eyes, hardened from across the club.

He's hesitant to touch you, hands rising and falling and rising again. Though you suppose a hug seems like it'd be a little abrasive, it also sounds like the exact kind of thing you need right now.

"U-Um, yeah I'm..." you start, before noticing your attackers body bloodied and wrapped like a pretzel on the ground. "...Fine..."

He sounds like he's going to pass out—he doesn't.

"We should um, we should get you home," As he speaks, the greenette shuffles you out of the alley and into the streetlamp light, blinking himself out of something before holding a meaty hand out of formality. "I'm Izuku by the way. Izuku Midoriya."

For such a big guy, Izuku seems rather timid, and yet, seeing him at the entrance with crossed arms in a black tee and a scowl in the club doesn't give you much insight into his personality. Which makes you wonder why he became the club's bouncer in the first place.

"Um, nice to meet you," you nod, trying to suppress the shake in your hands as you take his. "Y/N."

Izuku smiles at that, and even though you're a regular, you've never actually seen him beam on the job. "Cool! Cool, so...um, I don't really feel comfortable letting you walk home...alone..."

You nod—he panics as if you aren't already on board.

"'Cause it's like, a conscience thing, you know? Like, I really won't be able to sleep tonight otherwise," Izuku defends, shoving a clumsy hand in his green curls. "B-But if you don't feel comfortable with it, or something, that's totally fine! I know what you just experienced was horrible, and you probably do—"

"Izuku."

"Yeah?" He perks up. It seems as if the circuit his mind runs finally comes to a stop.

"I'd...feel more comfortable if you walked me home. Too."

Your innards ache at the stiffness in both your voice and figure, but Izuku doesn't seem to notice. Instead, he beams, standing ten feet taller, and you think—yeah. You'd feel much safer if he did.

"O-Okay! Cool!" He confirms a bit stiff himself, and then, in a smoother motion, holds his hand out to take. "Shall we?"

Your red palm claps over his, and you snort quietly, "We shall."

You two walk in a surprisingly comfortable silence for the beginning of the walk—you lead the way and he silently trails behind, glaring daggers at any passerby with lingering eyes as you march on, unknowing.

"So um, do you come to Club 777 often?"

Which is a question you know he knows the answer to, completely aware you almost come every Saturday. But you smile at his attempt to start a conversation anyways, hands tucking underneath your armpits in search of warmth.

"Yeah, sometimes. Just trying to get out and stuff. Y'know, away from the kid."

"I get that," he nods with a smile, before tugging at the hem of his hoodie. "Oh! Are you cold? Here—wait, let me."

He shucks it over your head and your positive it messes up your hair. But you find that you don't care much, especially in favor of the warmth that it provides.

And then, "You have a kid?"

"Yep," you say, tucking your fists into the jacket pockets. "A big two-year-old potato waits for me back home."

"Oh," Izuku chortles at your description before tucking his hands into his jean pockets too. Licking his lips, his eyes dart to the street, "I...assume your boyfriend watches him for the night? Or husband or whoever."

"Uhm, not quite," you chuckle towards your feet, though it's a touch acrid. Izuku picks up on it immediately.

"Oh I'm so sorr—I didn't kno—"

"It's fine, Izuku really—"

"I—but I shouldn't even be assuming what if you had a wife or girlfriend or—" he takes a second to gasp, and your eyes widen in fear that he'll choke, "—or if they're nonbinary or—"

"Izuku," you knock him on the shoulder and he finally shuts up. "It's fine. I get it all the time."

He falters, but at least he seems to relax. "Really?"

"Yes," you giggle behind a hand, and the greenette smiles at it.

"O-Okay, cool."

Flecks of gold swim in Izuku's green irises and you find yourself noticing them now, suppressing the urge to advance closer for a better look. You stare long enough to watch his smile relax into a comfortable line, but you snap out of it once he kicks a rock, the sound of the gravel skittering across the floor tugging you out of your reverie.

"I'm not very good with kids, y'know," he says as an afterthought. You snort.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean," he scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. "Like what am I supposed to feed it? French fries?"

"Toddlers aren't it's, Izu." You can't tell if he flushes from the nickname or from what you said, but either way, it's enough to prompt another laugh. "And maybe start with baby food?"

"Ah," Izuku nods, and you guide him in turning a corner. "That would make sense.

"It would."

By the time you stop in front of your red front door, it's almost three am. You figure you caught Izuku right after he got off work, if the cheesy All Might sweatshirt you're wearing is any evidence of that, but either way, he looks like he's about to fall flat on his face.

"You can stay for the night, if you want," you offer, albeit meekly, and Izuku lifts two hands with insistence.

"Oh! No no no please, I'm fine," he shakes his head so quickly his curls bounce in a flurry, and you genuinely worry he's going to pass out when he tries to blink himself awake. "Just...not used to staying up this late is all."

"Then stay," you offer with a shrug, and your orange porch light flickers. "It's the least I can do. I've got a bed and a futon, and I'm fine with sleeping on either."

"I..." Izuku's green eyes flicker towards your door before back to you, "I really shouldn't. I'm a stranger an—"

"And I'm offering."

Izuku's eyebrows fold with the dilemma, but you grab his hand with a tug and a smile, while your free one shoves the keys into the door. "C'mon. Let's get you some rest, yeah?"

You can't tell if Izuku blushes or if it's just the lighting, but either way, his chest inflates in protest before deflating in resignation.

"Okay."

With a smile, you turn the doorknob. Your door has always taken some shoulder to get open, so you don't hesitate in shoving your collarbone into the hardwood. Izuku cringes at the sight.

"Mama!"

Your hit in the legs first, nearly stumbling back with a quiet oof. You look down to see Max wrapped around your legs like you're a fucking jungle gym, grinning with two missing teeth and a bandaid over his nose.

It's three am.

"I'm done," your babysitter grunts. "He doesn't listen when I tell him to bathe, eat, anything—I fucking quit."

And with that, they slam the door behind them, house rattling under the pressure. You sigh. There goes another one. Fuck.

"Well that wasn't very nice," Izuku grumbles under his breath disapprovingly. You smile at the arms crossed over his chest until Max peeks around your legs to see...

"A new daddy?"

"I—no, baby," you fight the embarrassment (and the urge to say you fucking wish) by picking the little one up by his armpits, smiling when he thrusts his hands in the air and goes weee! After he's comfortably cradled in your arms, you say, "He's just staying the night."

"Like daddy did!" Max defends with a giggle before rushing the greenette with open arms. Izuku just looks at you with a shrug before kneeling to take a hug to the chest as Max chants, "New daddy! New daddy!"

And, well. There's no stopping him now.

You peel your heels off your cramping feet and sigh at the fucking freedom, toes uncurling from the scrunched position it feels like they've been holding the entire night. You curse under your breath when you realize since Max is awake you've got to put him to bed too, and honestly, if you knew this babysitter was going to be just as useless as the others, you would've just let Max run fucking free while you lived life for a few hours. Not like that outcome would be any better.

"Alright Maxie, c'mon."

You take him away from his celebration with the greenette and though he pouts, he allows his mother to gather him in her arms.

"Do you um, need help?"

You turn to see Izuku awkwardly shifting in the doorway from the request, hands behind his back with pursed lips. You shake your head.

"Oh no, it's fine. I just have to put him down really quickly and then I'll be—"

"Mama, I'm hungry. I want chicken nuggies." Max loops his arms around your neck and tugs so hard you worry about your bones. You shake your head with a sigh and a pout.

"It's too late for you to be up, bud. You can have chicken nuggies for lunch tomorrow. Sound like a plan?"

But goodness. In this state, it'll take hours for him to relax—and you still have to unfold the futon for Izuku.

Max whines and kicks his legs but doesn't say no, meaning he's not really that hungry, he just wants to stay awake. "But—but what if new daddy's gone in the morning like the last one?"

Fuck.

"Max," you sigh, giving him a light shake so his matching eyes look into you yours. You speak a little softer, "Izuku's not your new daddy, okay? He's a houseguest."

Max's face drops. "Not eve—"

"No, Maxie," you sigh, squeezing him on the shoulder. "Now let's go to bed, okay?"

"I can—I can put him down if you'd like! So you can get into something more comfortable and stuff. I mean, I've never worn a dress but sweats are so much better, you know? Or shorts, or...whatever you wear to sleep."

You understand the many points he's trying to get across, one being that's he's not a creep, just a nice guy, and you suppose you and Max can live in your "new daddy" fantasy for a little longer. Even if you know this one will be gone by morning.

"Um, okay yeah," you say, voice a little thin, before handing your child over to the greenette—who bounces into his arms excitedly. "I'll be back, then? His room is down the hall to the right. The one with the race car bed."

Izuku's eyes narrow as he processes your directions. "Down the hall to the right—okay! I'll just go take this little guy to bed, then."

"Okay, thank you," you nearly bow, because Izuku just saved both of you so much time and he doesn't even understand how. "Oh! And good luck."

"Good...luck?"

"Yep!" You say with a wink and a pat on the back before scooping your heels and booking it back to your bedroom with a cackle. Time to get out of this dress. Fucking finally.

You realize that being alone is much more unsettling when you've had a gun held to your head today.

Every little noise just seems off, like it could belong to something more than it actually does, even the silence; you find yourself shoving your head through your t-shirt abnormally fast, eyes blinking to take a survey of the room to ensure that you're alone. You are. It's fine.

And that's what you tell yourself when you close your eyes to run a wet rag over your face, and again with the dry one. All of a sudden, you don't like the way your bathroom window faces the open backyard nor do you like how dark it is outside. You don't like how big your bed looks, and goddammit, you haven't even gotten into it yet.

Pushing all uneasy thoughts aside, you stumble out of your bedroom with a fresh face and a new outfit, stilling in Max's doorway when the greenette doesn't notice you. Resting against the frame with crossed arms, you smile.

"I do so like green eggs and ham! Thank you! Thank you, Sam-I-am. You know, when I was a kid I—oh, he's asleep."

Izuku tucks the snoring boy in his lap under the covers with a gentle grin, pulling them underneath his chin. The greenette takes a second, watches Max's chest rise and fall a few times, before ruffling the tuft of hair on his head with a snort, and walking away.

You don't even think Izuku sees you until he practically sashays out the door, winking, "Good luck, huh?"

To say you go red in the face from that is an understatement.

"How do you do this?"

"Do what?" You ask as you pulling the futon in your living room forwards. Izuku yawns before gesturing to the clock with a shake of his head.

"Take care of a kid, and work, and go to a bar every Saturday evening? It's four am, and something tells me you've been up for a while. I'm practically dead and I wake up at one pm every day!"

You chuckle at that, jumping on the bed with your hands and knees to ensure its lays flat...and ensure that it won't make an Izuku sandwich at seven in the morning. "You build up stamina after a while, I guess."

"No shit," he gestures to you as you utilize the entire length of your body to put the sheets on the mattress. He would help, but you told him no, insisting that he'd only make this take longer. "Are you sure you do—"

"Nope," you huff, clapping your hands together. "I'm done."

Izuku blinks at the made bed, to you, to the made bed again, and then back to you with wide eyes.

"Mommy magic."

"I—" you blink towards the ceiling to see if that even makes sense, but you figure fuck it, it's four am, with a snort. "Yeah, sure. Whatever you want to call it."

In reality, you feel like you're about to pass out.

"Um, so I don't really have pj pants and I don't think you'll have any that'll fit, so..."

"Yeah no, I definitely burned all the shit my ex left—"

"Aha okay, cool, um, so just boxers...are fine...?"

He looks down at his black jeans and back to you, raising an eyebrow. You toss a nonchalant shrug in return, and you hate to say it, but your inner school girl goes—dick outline.

"O-Okay, then," Izuku says, and you watch his hands curl around the waistband. "I'm just gonna—"

He shucks his pants so hard they hit the floor, and your eyes widen because...well...looks like he's just gonna do it then.

Until Izuku's hands rush to cover his crotch (which you weren't peeking at, you weren't) and you realize that maybe you should've stepped out of the room or something.

"U-Um—that was fast—"

"I thought—thought you were going to uhm, turn around," he flushes, a funny contrast to the way his muscles fold under that black shirt, and your feet move to turn around like he ordered you to do it.

"Sorry! So sorry," you try to apologize, but now his dick print is burned in your brain, and...it isn't that bad.

"It—It's fine! I'm in the bed now so, you can turn around."

You laugh awkwardly and scuffle to turn, as you do, and Izuku beams at you from the bed with a wave.

"Hi," he says, his lower half-tucked under the covers. You wave back.

"Hi."

Izuku's eyes dart to you living room tv before the come back to you. "So uhm, I guess this is goodnight?"

"Oh right," you perk up at that, hands rubbing the sides of your thighs like there's something on them. "Time to go to bed, right?"

"Uh, yeah!" He nods, chest shuddering before he says, "so uh, sweet dreams?"

You smile tight at the kind gesture, and your hands opt to pull at the hem of your shirt instead, eyes drifting to an old pile of records you haven't regarded in months. "Thanks! You...too?"

Izuku smiles, though his eyes drift, "Yeah..."

You beam back. You figure you should probably go now, or something, until you think of something and slam a fist into your palm. "Oh! Also, I meant to thank you for saving me. I'm not sure if I did that. Did I do that?"

The greenette shrugs, "Uh, I think so?"

"Okay! Okay. Cool," you nod, flashing a tight smile. "Mmk. Night Izuku."

"G'night."

And see, you would move—except it seems as if your feet are glued to the floor and won't move no matter how hard you try, to the point where it feels like your straining and they're going numb, and yet you're still staring at Izuku's pretty fucking face.

"C'mon," he chuckles, scooting over on the futon to make extra space for you. "If you take all day, the beds gonna get cold, and then I'm going to have to crawl into yours like a creep."

"Oh my fucking god," you snort one breath and move to flick off the lights before stumbling through the darkness for the futon. "You're so weird."

"Weird in a good way, I hope," he lifts the blanket and you slide under—and swear your knee grazes his before it's snatched away.

"There's no weird in a bad way," you say once you've settled comfortably, tucking your hands under your head as you lay on your stomach. Izuku mimics your position, though he takes up much more of the blanket, and you find that it drapes over you like a tent over his shoulders. Neither of you close your eyes, for some reason.

"Hi," Izuku whispers.

"Hi," you smile back.

"Okay," he huffs, face twisting in determination, "Now it's goodnight."

"Right," you nod, but your eyes don't close. "Goodnight. Of course."

"Don't let the bedbugs bite," he says with a chuckle, and you can't tell if his eyes flicker to your lips or if you imagine it. Either way, you look them just in case.

"I better not have bedbugs," you snort. "I clean this place like a motherfucker."

Izuku's nose twitches at that with a nod. Moonlight pours into your living room and colors his pale skin silver, though you figure it won't take the sun much longer to color it a strawberry pink. "You really do. It's...different when it's quiet."

"Yeah," you agree, placing your hands on his chest. It shudders under your palms. "Kinda personal, huh?"

"Mhm," he nods, and though his hands wrap around your wrists, they never pull them away. You lift an eyebrow.

"A bad personal?"

Izuku doesn't hesitate, breath nearly ghosting your lips as he says, "Hardly."

"Would you..." now it's your chests turn to shudder, and sliding a hand up to play with his ear, you bite the bullet. "Like to get more personal?"

Izuku's lips melt into a grin against yours, "I'd love to."

His lips are softer than you thought.

Maybe because you assumed all of him was a bumbling mess, including his chapstick application; but they're fucking pillow-soft, and you don't realize how deprived you are until his hold around your body turns from protective to sensual and you melt from his heat.

"Fuck," Izuku huffs between kisses, growling when your grip around his neck tightens. "Watching you from across the club for weeks can do a thing to a guy's patience, you know."

"Oh?" You snort as he presses enthusiastic open-mouthed kisses down the column of your neck, hot and wet, and painful once his teeth dig into your collarbone. "A-Ah, Izuku—no marks."

"O-Oh! Sorry," he pulls away, lips red and swollen, and shiny with spit. You smile at the reaction.

"'S okay, Baby," you giggle at the speed to which his muscles go lax, and his eyes droop to your chest when you scratch the back of his head.

"Can I—can I suck your tits?"

He asks so bashfully it's nearly innocent, and you find your eyes dropping to your chest along with his before you're ditching his All Might sweatshirt all together.

"God," Izuku's eyes flutter as he gathers your breasts in both palms, groaning at the sight. "They're fucking perfect."

You shudder as his thumb ghosts a nipple, and Izuku dips an experimental hand under your lacy bra and pinches. Hard.

Your thighs jolt and hands fist the sheets, and a moan comes from the back of your throat before you can stop it. Izuku's hand rocket to cover your mouth.

"Shh—you don't wanna wake him up, do you?"

You shake your head, but it's hard to keep quiet when your nipples are as sensitive as they are. Izuku doesn't seem like he really means that statement, though, lowering his head with a devilish grin as if he knows that for himself.

“Sensitive, Mommy?”

“O-Oh um,” you flush at the nickname, and even more so when his lips close around your nipple and suck. Tangling a hand in his hair, you sigh, “Yeah, a little.”

Izuku hums at that, eyes fluttering to watch you bite your bottom lip in a poor attempt to muffle a moan, hissing as his teeth dig into the hardened bud. He pulls off with a slurp and moves to the other, but not without a few kisses across your chest.

“When’s the last time someone touched you like this, hmm?” Izuku nearly growls out before biting into the opposite nipple, and you shudder as he dips a scarred hand down the waistband of your shorts and panties. He chuckles after sliding a finger through your slit. “So wet for me.”

“It—It’s been a second,” you sigh, grip tightening around his shoulders as he slides a finger in. Even Izuku has to bite a lip at your tightness in anticipation, mouth descending over your nipple once more to send frissons of fire up your spine.

“No shit,” he grunts around your nipple, curling his finger. You gasp. “Think I can fit another one in there?”

“Why don’t you try?” You giggle, but it dissipates into nothing but air as he does, his two fingers filling you up enough to elicit a sigh.

“How’s that?” He breathes, face hovering over yours. As your hands coil around his neck, his free one reaches for your inner thigh and pulls it back far enough to give him a better angle as he presses you into the mattress.

“Good, it’s good,” you nod, and your hips start to move on their own, bucking forwards as if there’s any more finger left for you to fuck. (Spoiler: there’s not.)

“Good,” he breathes, eyes going glossy as he watches you writhe under him. You're positive that you're carving painful red lines into his back, but considering the way his eyebrows fold every time you do, makes you wonder if he doesn't mind. "Fuck I can't wait to fuck you—I can fuck you, right?"

"No Izuku, I'm just letting you finger me for fu-u—fuck."

He slides in a third finger and for some reason, it burns a little—but the burn only makes your eyes roll further, and he's stuffing you with a chuckle.

"What was that?"

"I-I—you're not pla—playing very fair," you huff, chest shuddering as he tilts your hips higher for a better angle. You suppress a scream when his fingers curl, jolting forwards at such a speed it makes the futon creak. Izuku tightens his grip around your waist to keep you from going too far.

"No one said anything about being fair, Mommy," he teases, and you whine when he removes his fingers, tapping them against your lips. "C'mon, you gotta get 'em wet so I can fuck you, right?"

You nod at the idea, enjoying the idea of being filled up much more, and coat his fingers to the point where they're dripping when he pulls him out. Izuku's chest rumbles.

"So good for me," he purrs, using your spit to coat his cock before he's sliding his head between your folds—you shiver, grabbing onto his back again. "Ready?"

“Mhm,” you nod, spreading your legs further—though you swear they do that on their own.

“Oh my, you’re um...tight...”

You whimper from the stretch and look between your legs, eyes widening upon seeing that Izuku’s much bigger than you had anticipated. Or had been warned of.

“F-Fuck, I can’t—“

“Shhhh, it’s okay, just a little more, okay?” Izuku nearly whispers into your lips as his hands move to rub your shuddering sides. Your eyes screw shut, “Jus’ a little more, Mommy...”

Izuku pushes deeper and you’re being split in half—because what else could that burn be—but you’ll admit, the feeling of accomplishment you receive once he bottoms out is surreal.

“Good—Good girl,” Izuku’s nearly quivering and plants his hands on both sides of your head with a huff.

“I-Izu,” you whimper as he starts to move, feeling impossibly full no matter how far he pulls out. Izuku shudders, mouth rounding into an ‘o’ when his hips slowly start to gain rhythm, and though it’s loud, you know the creak of the futon is unavoidable. You squeal as his head hammers into your cervix, pulling out a wanton Daddy before you have half a mind to shut the fuck up. You nearly freeze, and yet, all Izuku’s hips do is speed up.

“Yeah? Want me to be your new Daddy?” He moans, and you dig your nails into his back with a nod. The greenette curses at that, biting his bottom lip and his hand drops between your legs to rub at your clit. With thighs seizing around his waist, you slam a hand over your mouth to keep yourself quiet.

“Fuck—I make you feel that good, Mommy?” Izuku nearly wheezes, eyes suppressing the urge to screw closed, “So good you can’t keep your pretty mouth shut?”

“Y-Yeah, I—“ you gasp when he lifts your hips off the bed for a better angle, hands fisting the sheets. “Harder, Daddy—“

“Oh Mommy, if I go any harder I think I might break this bed,” he says, borderline bashful, but you find yourself saying fuck the bed as your hips buck in search of a feeling he refuses to give you. Izuku’s chuckle strains as he says, “So needy, Mommy. You that needy for my cum?”

Clawing at his back, you try your damnest to stutter out a yes. Izuku chuckles at your desperation before he cuts himself off with a groan, eyes rocketing to where you’re both connected as you tighten around him.

“F-Fill me up, I wanna—“

“You want another baby, Mommy?” Izuku pants, and you’re so close you start to feel a buzz in your thighs, praying he isn’t too far behind. You nod vehemently with a gasp and his lips slide into an exhausted smile, "Fuck, of course you do—and you’re gonna take me so well, aren’t you? All of it.”

Izuku finishes his sentence with a growl, pressing you further into the mattress—it squeaks like a squeaky wheel, and when it thunks a level lower both of you yelp, the back of the futon thumping on your hardwood floor with each thrust.

“Told ya,” Izuku wheezes, eyes scrunching in a chuckle. You return it.

“It—It’s old anyway,” you reply, but your eyebrows fold as quickly as they unfold from the crash. The creaking futon increases in pitch as his hips pick up the pace, “Fuck—fuck Izuku I’m gonna cum.”

“What’s my name?” The greenette challenges, and you find yourself shivering at the dominance he exudes. The finger on your clit disappears and you whine, knowing damn well you can’t cum without it.

“Daddy—Daddy please—“

“Good—fuck, so good for me,” his hand returns to your clit and you sigh at the feeling. As the coil in your gut threatens to snap, his hips speed up, and Izuku pants, “We’re gonna cum together, yeah? Cum with me Mommy, c’mon—“

“Fuck!” You drag red lines down Izuku’s back as you quake under the weight of your orgasm, broken bed whining as Izuku thrusts all his weight into you. Digging his teeth into your shoulder, the greenette cums with a broken moan, hips stuttering into yours for the final time that night.

The room fills with a comfortable silence, minus the panting, and Izuku rolls onto the mattress next to you with a bounce. It creaks, whines, and then drops again, catching both you and the greenette by surprise. (Again.)

“I think—I think we broke it,” Izuku says towards the ceiling as he catches his breath. You giggle at that, hands laid across your sweaty stomach, and turn to him with your head in the pillow.

“Gives me an excuse to buy a new one,” you say with a shrug. Izuku chuckles back.

“I guess,” he teeters his head to both sides. “I can...also pitch in, if you want. Since I broke the thing. Technically.”

His offer sounds apprehensive as if he’s encroaching in your space, as if he hasn’t been all up in your space less than a minute ago. You smile. “I’d like that a lot, actually. Thanks.”

"And um, breakfast? I mean," he snorts, though it seems rather defensive, and his eyes rocket to the ticking clock on your wall. Your eyes follow: five am. "I mean—fuck um, I feel like this might be weird but I think you're cool? Um, yeah, so breakfast, I can make it if you want because you're so busy being motherly and stuff and plus, it's Sunday but again, if you don't wan—"

"Izuku," you giggle, wrapping your arms around his gut with a little squeeze. "Breakfast sounds nice."

The greenette beams and his chest stutters. "O-Okay cool! Cool, cool. Breakfast then?"

You snort, driving your palm into his face to shut him the fuck up. "Goodnight, Izuku."

Izuku giggles, getting the message, and coils his arms around your shoulders to provide a comfort you haven't felt in a very, very long time.

"G'night Mommy."

[cloud9in]

You’re the only one who’s writing poppy x mc fics sooo, i have a request “ bea is a bad girl (like in a gang) in high school and also went jail couple of times for getting in trouble in high school senior year poppy was new transfer student and after 2 months bea join back school and met poppy bea and they just click yk like a connection slowly they started dating and in school everyone was shocked to see bea in a relationship ( bad girl and new girl) poppy is always worried about bea and few days before graduation bea got hurt really bad and poppy gives bea 2 options that she has to choose between her or her this (gang).. bea didn’t say anything to her so poppy left, after 2/3 years they met in college bea was a different person but so does poppy they become enemies (no one knows why they hate each other) one day they were arguing and poppy shout at her and says why you're back and bea put her hand on her cheek and smile and say i am here to win you back because i love you 😬

Promises (Poppy x MC)

Part 1/?

Can i just say I'm absolutely invested in this plot? You've got me hooked on my own story, as hectic as my life is, this is enjoyable to write. I hope you like it as well @iamsimpforpoppy

Word count: 1.8k (i got carried away)

“You know what to do Jackson, same old shit.”

“Yeah but it feels like a movie every damn time”, Bea responds confidently as she unbuckles her seatbelt. She sports a black mask with a yellow bandana, a vivacious color worn by only the Southside Spades, a notorious street gang who were known for robbery, and occasional blood.

Bea found herself wrapped up in the world of gangs when she turned sixteen. But before that the brunette would assist in transporting goods, also known as hardcore drugs. There was plenty enough to go around so Bea could indulge in any she wanted. Drugs didn’t give her the high she craved though, instead it was the thrilling game of cat and mouse with the cops.

Every now and then she’d get thrown in the slammer overnight. But this particular evening earns her one year in the NY State Penitentiary. See, the cops never gathered significant evidence to build a case against her, even though she was well aware of Detective Steinhelm who had some sick obsession with her. Following her everywhere, until Bea confronted her directly after noticing the same black sedan parked a street down from her house.

But she played the game right, and nothing ever led back to her. Until now.

“Where’s the money Bradley? I feel like I’ve been kissing your ass all week, the boss needs it now.”

A skinny blonde boy who looks like he had better days grunts in annoyance, “You’ll get your money...I’m just a little short right now.”

“Time’s up Ken doll, you know Carter will have your head for this.”

“Maybe he doesn’t have to know. Maybe this can be between us…”, Bradley strides carefully towards the blonde, a disturbing grin on his face which screams junkie. “Back the hell up now.”

Bea pulled her knife out with ease and pointed it towards him. She didn’t plan on actually using it. Murder was way out her budget for a simple money pickup but she knew that it would scare the boy easily. Except he kicked the blade out of her hold which prompted it to screech across the concrete before coming to a stop. Before Bea could think her fists reacted as she intercepted a punch that aimed straight for her jaw. She twists Bradley’s arm and he falls on his knees in pain. With his back to her, she kicks him down until he’s flat on his stomach.

“What is it exactly that you plan on doing now Bradley?” The blonde boy struggles under Bea’s foot but manages to reach around and slash at her ankle with a surprise shiv. Bea yelps in pain before kicking his head, rendering him unconscious.

“Stupid idiot. Had to make this harder than it should’ve been.”

Bea eventually finds the stash of money hidden under his mattress, an amateur hiding place at best. She congratulated herself for another job accomplished (kinda) and headed home. What the seventeen year old didn’t expect was the repulsive sound of a siren filling her ears as she stepped out onto her driveway. Her blood rushed to her head when she spotted Detective Steinhelm among the police officers surrounding her and retorts, “oh come on. I thought I told them about you harassing me. What do you want? Back here to strip search me again?”

The older woman only watches the blonde in eerie silence before smiling and gesturing to a police officer. “Beatriz Jackson you have the right to remain silent, anything you say or do can be used against you in a court of law-”

“What the actual fuck!” Bea yanks her arms out of the officers reach which initiates a struggle for dominance. This was nothing new to her, but it still felt sickening. Like she was some pet.

“You have the right to have a lawyer present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you if you so desire.” Detective Steinhelm finishes speaking and approaches the still scuffling blonde, “if you keep resisting I will tase you myself.”

Bea bites back the urge to headbutt the old hag right in her stupid face but she didn’t need any extra charges, for whatever the hell it was she was being charged for.

“Tell me why the fuck I am being arrested and I’ll calm down.”

That’s when Bea notices a familiar (bruised up) face from earlier. His smirk was enough to eat at her skin and she felt burning hot rage.

“Your blood was found at the scene of Mr. Denbroughs assault. You are being arrested in the case of second degree assault with intent to hurt someone with a deadly weapon.”

***

Bea only got one year in prison due to her kickass lawyer Ina Kingsley who played the minor card at every opportunity given. She also pointed out the fact that the knife wasn’t bloodstained, and Bradley never had any stab wounds so there is no proof the weapon was ever used against him. And it technically wasn’t. Good thing she didn’t bring a gun instead.

She did miss her 18th birthday though. And a few months of her senior year. But that’s what summer classes were for right?

All eyes were on the blonde when she returned, and whispers spread throughout the school about a certain new girl. Bea paid no mind to the fingers that pointed in her direction but the newcomer did manage to catch her attention, and pretty quick at that.

“Hey Jackson, how was solitary confinement?”

“I heard they make you use the bathroom right through the tiny food slot.”

Bea rolls her eyes and pelts a piece of not-so-fresh bread right at Ford’s head. The other people at the table join in on the laughter and Bea shakes her head and smiles, “it was Juvie you dumbass, and they made us sit in a circle together every Thursday like we were in an AA meeting.

“That’s jail for babies, goldilocks here wouldn’t last a minute in a real prison”, Carter joins them at the table with a cocky smirk, yet his eyes soften when landing on Bea. She shares a similar look with him knowing they’ll have a real conversation later. Because they definitely didn’t get to have that when Bea was getting dragged away to the police station in cuffs, and every event after that.

“It’s our girl’s first day out, we have to celebrate. And it’s not like she’s on probation...right Bea?”

“I do have a curfew, and I’m on juvenile probation so…when we partying?” The crew laughs as Bea shrugs. Her mother will deal with it. Zoey scoots in next to the blonde and wraps her arm around her shoulder in a side hug. “So glad to have you back Bea, and we are not risking you breaking parole so let’s just go to a sport’s bar tonight.”

Bea nods her head in agreement as the first warning bell goes off and everyone starts to clean up. Zoey taps on her arm and points towards one of the farther tables where a lone figure sits, wiping her hands with a napkin. All Bea saw were blonde tresses until she turned and they made brief eye contact.

“She’s the new girl, Poppy Min Sinclair. Rumor is she’s got a rich white daddy. You should totally invite her to the party.”

“And why would I do that?”

Zoey squints her eyes and leans in closer, her hands under chin in thought, “she seems like the broody type, you two would click.” She laughs at Bea’s comical expression but the blonde can’t bother to look in her direction, she’s way too wrapped up in what little the stranger a few tables away had to offer. She would sit on that thought, Bea was not one to shy away from anything.

***

The two became friends quicker than anyone could think.

One day after school, Poppy’s car wouldn’t start. It just didn’t comply. You would think she’d be poised and call her mechanic to come fix it, but instead the blonde slumped against the driver’s side window and let out a visibly frustrated, high-pitched yelp. Bea watched her pace around the car and even...kick?...the front bumper with her heels in efforts to wake it up.

“You know I may be wrong but I think that only makes it worse..” She approaches the helpless blonde with a small grin. Poppy’s persistence amazed her though, she’s never seen anyone determined to beat a car up. An expensive one at that.

“I hope you have some idea how to fix it, unless you’re here to waste my time and ask me on a date.”

Woah.

Okay that definitely threw Bea on a whim. She lets out a sharp laugh and bites her lips in amusement. She strolls towards the front of her car, holding Poppy’s gaze the whole way. She liked that the blonde didn’t avert her eyes. “And if I did? We couldn’t take your car of course, it’s obviously impaired.”

Poppy smiles and turns to look at Bea properly. She checks out every inch of her with no visible shame. An assessment so to say, and she likes what she sees.

“It’s your lucky day Poppy, I happen to know a thing or three about cars, and I desperately want to get this thing working so we can go on that date.” She winks playfully but god does she mean it. Bea silently prayed that the blonde wouldn’t take it the wrong way, but she knew she won when Poppy didn't protest, instead getting comfortable under some shade and holding her hand out, “the stage is all yours Jackson.”

***

“So what you’re trying to tell me is that I can’t jump over this obvious not-so-protected fence?”

“Judging by the sign right next to it that says...oh wow who would’ve thought, “DO NOT ENTER”, I don’t think so”, Poppy deadpans. It didn’t phase Bea of course because she was already halfway up the fence when the blonde turned away from the sign. The girl had a point to prove, maybe not a valid one, but still a point.

Poppy pinches her eyebrows in exasperation before looking back up to a nonchalant Bea swinging her legs from the top of the fence. She winks down at the blonde, “join me?”

Poppy didn’t expect to be climbing fences with a charismatic girl who had the same color hair as her when she moved schools, but she found herself embracing every moment of it. Although the trip up there was a struggle and some.

“I swear to god there’s a wire in my ass.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“And we’re both going to end up in the hospital. Get. me. Down.”

Bea tries to hold in her laughter the whole way down but lets it loose when she sees Poppy still up there, partly hovering in the air. “Pops...I’ll catch you, don't worry. Climb down slowly.” She doesn’t. But Bea had her feet planted and ready because any moment with the sassy blonde was unpredictable.  And she loved it. Especially because she had Poppy engulfed in her arms and they were so close their noses touched.

Bea promised herself she’d kiss the girl next time.

***

“You’re...in a gang?”

Bea felt a clasp of cold air enter her lungs as she stared ahead. It wasn’t like she could hide it from Poppy. She has a reputation, and word has gotten around about the two getting close. This was just like that one time at the end of sophomore year where Bea met Kelly Hall, a beautiful girl with golden rimmed glasses. Unfortunately she only could imagine what could’ve been after whispers ended up right on the doorstep of Kelly’s parents, and she suddenly changed her number, and switched out of every class she had with Bea.

The blonde didn’t want to entertain the thought of Poppy doing the same, but this was a lifestyle she chose.

“I mean...how?”

Bea sighs and turns to look at her, “I fell into the wrong crowd. Or maybe it’s the right one because I never found a true home until I met them. They’re family, I wouldn’t expect you to get it though and I understand if you want to distance-”

“I of all people know what it’s like to not fit in Jackson. You’ve found people who make you feel safe. Maybe I don’t agree with the troubles that come with being in a gang but I don’t know the whole story.”

“Do you want to?”

Poppy wraps her arms around Bea’s and lays her head on her shoulder, “I want to know that you won’t get yourself hurt but I know that’s nearly impossible.”

Bea exhales slowly, not knowing what to say. She knew that this would upset Poppy but her acceptance meant more. She didn’t know what this would mean for the two of them, if there was a “them”, but she felt more encouraged to share more of her other life with the blonde.

“Just promise me one thing Jackson.”

“Yeah?”

Poppy’s voice comes out softer than expected, and Bea ingests every emotion that comes with it, “Promise me you won’t ever put yourself in a position where you have to choose between me or the gang.”

Bea finds her hand in the space where their thighs touched and latches onto it like a lifebuoy,

“I promise.”

***

“I just remembered something Poppy.”

“What, that you have half a brain cell? I thought that was established Jackson.”

Bea launches a pillow that (purposely) misses Poppy’s head by an inch. If she actually hit her and frizzed up her locks then she’d never hear, or see..or walk again.

“I’m being serious. I just remembered this too, we never went on that car date we talked about.”

Poppy squints her eyes in confusion, but was fully aware of what Bea was referring to. “You mean the first time we met?”

The blonde smiles to herself as she replayed that day in her head over and over again. She couldn’t decide if Bea’s openly flirty behavior is what drew her in or if it was her ability to fix any of her possessions with ease. And for free.

Bea pulls Poppy up by her hands until her back is against the lockers. Another perfect opportunity for the blonde to make do of that promise she made to herself, but something told her to wait just a bit longer. “So what do you say? Poppy Min Sinclair, will you go on a date with me?”

Poppy rolls her eyes playfully, pulling Bea in closer by the collar of her letterman, “now who’s being dramatic?”

“I didn’t hear a no”

“I think you know what the answer is.”

That night Zoey helped Bea prep for her first date with the girl that she could say she was almost in love with. The taller girl brushed some dust off of Bea’s jacket and planted her hands on her shoulders, “remember Jackson, give her the ride of her life. And I mean that in every way possible.”

Thanks Zoe.

Bea watched Poppy drive up in front of her house and something inside her mind couldn’t deny the pang her heart let out when she saw Poppy smile the way she did.

Bea took control of the driving and told Poppy to recline her seat and enjoy the ride, with her seatbelt on of course. Safe sacrifices. They cruised through an empty highway blasting Poppy’s spotify playlist named “Rich Bitch Songs” because that was their ideal perfect date. It’s amazing that the two could even come to an agreement, but here we are.

She watched the beautiful blonde sing her lungs out and couldn’t help but mirror her joy, taking her hands off the steering wheel. The pump of adrenaline prompts a new excitement in the air and Poppy wraps Bea into a secure hug, her hair flying wildly with the wind. Bea slows the car down but the rapid beating of her heart made it seem they were going 100 miles per second.

“I feel so alive Jackson.”

Bea stared at the girl in the passenger seat with a look that could only be described as love.

“You make me feel alive.”

Poppy kept talking and Bea found a way to focus on both the road and the blonde next to her. Because when you truly enjoy something, you’ll find a way to keep experiencing it. And Bea enjoyed hearing Poppy’s voice, she loved everything about her.

“I feel like kissing you.”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

“...Nothing. I should’ve done this a long time ago.”

They kiss when Bea pulls over.  A hot feeling consumes them like fire when their tongues collide and Bea plants her hands around Poppy’s hips, pushing her back into her seat until she’s on top. The windows easily start to fog up in reaction to the heat, and not once did they take their hands off each other.

Promise 1/2 kept

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End Note: This chapter was to build their relationship, more angst incoming. BIG THANKS to @somewillwin for letting me use Jackson <3333

Taglist: @samanthadalton @somewillwin @clowneryme @baexpoppy @poppysmc @doey-eyes8 @veenast @straightlikewetspaghetti @phoennixxsblog @a-ghost-girl

[starlessskies94]

Consequence (Joel Miller x OC)

Summary: What if Joel survived his injuries from the Abby and Fireflies attack but ends up with really bad amnesia. He can’t remember his wife, Ellie, or the Outbreak; only before. How will his family bring back the man they once knew?

Pairing: Joel Miller x OC

Notes: I wanted to apologise for a stupid mistake I made in the last chapter, I mentioned that Ada fixed Joel's injury with no medical knowledge; only to remember weeks later that she's a vet as part of her character skills and I completely overlooked it while writing the last chapter so I'm sorry for that. And sorry to my lovely Adaline; because it makes total sense that she would be able to tend to his wound rather easily so I hope that doesn't spoil that last flashback too much my bad hehe

Also I apologise that it's been a while since my last chapter, I'm not going to lie this one has been a bitch to write and I'm still not 100% happy with it so I just sincerely hope it doesn't disappoint.

Chapter Twelve

Ada didn't remember falling asleep. But she certainly felt it when she woke up. Her joints cracking and popping from the curled up position she was laid in all night. Everything ached from her shoulders, to her back and her toes.

The last of her dreams faded as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. A quick glance at the clock telling her that she had slept through the better part of a day and half and although she had slept; she didn't feel rested in the slightest. The memories came flooding back, bringing with it that weight that pushed against her chest so tightly until she could barely breathe. Everything that had happened the day before felt like a bad nightmare, where her fears and worries had all come true. Joel hated her. Had more or less disowned her and Ellie. And it was her fault. The sadness and the tears were gone leaving her numb. All she had left was anger.

Yes she had made the wrong call leaving Joel as she had but it was Tommy who had thrown her under the bus. Not giving her the time she had needed to explain. It had all happened so quickly it had made her head spin. It wasn't fair.

There was no logic or reason in leaving her home and storming through the town to find her brother in law. There was no reason to slug the poor man in the face with a swift right hook either but that still didn't stop Ada from doing it away when she saw him.

The world only came back into focus when Maria had restrained her; her vision finally clearing to see Tommy holding his bloody nose.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Ada?!" Maria cried in shocked anger. "What has gotten into you?!"

"Let me go, Maria!"

"Not until you tell me what's going on!" The blonde demanded, holding Ada's arms behind her back: her grip getting tighter the more she struggled. Tommy stumbled forward still holding his nose, spitting a mouthful of blood by his feet before looking up at his wife.

"Maria it's okay...let her go." He asked woefully. Maria just scoffed in disbelief at his request, as if it was the most crazy thing in the world. She attempted to argue but the younger Miller just waved a dismissive hand at her words; his other pinching the bridge of his nose in a bid to stop the bleeding, that was now staining it's way down the front of his shirt. The townspeople were beginning to gather, a rumble of murmurs breaking out amongst the crowd at the sight of their leader being injured by one of their own.

That still didn't stop Ada from taking another swing at Tommy. Only this one didn't make contact as Maria stopped her, twisting her arm and pinning it to her back again.

"That is enough!" She roared, staring down both her husband and her sister in law. "Now you two had better tell what in the hell is going on!"

Tommy winced against the pain shooting through his nose and jaw; turning to look at the crowd staring with wide eyes. His own falling to the floor, not quite able to look at both women in front of him.

"Maybe we'd better go inside to talk." He suggested quietly; making his way back towards his home with Ada and Maria following behind. The brunette struggled her way out of Maria's grip and reluctantly she gave in and let go; turning on her heel and barking orders at the crowd to disperse and get back to whatever it was they were doing before. They did eventually albeit hesitantly. Ada glanced over her shoulder and watched them go as she made her way towards Tommy's; her brain quickly catching up with her actions. God... what they must think of her now. She was just grateful Ellie hadn't seen it; just as grateful as she was that the teen had chosen to stay with Dina the day before. Heaven only knew what she would've thought had she heard Joel's cold words when he'd left. She tried not to think about it as she looked down at her shaking hands; her right now turning red and swelling slightly. The shame engulfed her almost as rapidly as the anger had. And now she had to face the consequences of that anger.

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"...And after that he just left? You didn't even try to stop him?" Maria asked sadly as she poured Ada another whisky into her glass. She didn't waste any time downing the brown liquid as quickly as she did her first; coughing slightly as it burned her throat.

"What would've been the point? I tried to explain things and he made it perfectly clear that he wasn't in the mood to listen."

The nausea had come back; whether it was caused by the whiskey on an empty stomach or the stress of retelling what had happened between her and Joel yesterday, Ada wasn't sure. Though she guessed it was probably the former, if her headache was anything to go by. She slumped further into her chair as a deep sigh left her lungs; everything was such a mess and she was tired of feeling so hopeless. She turned the empty glass along her hand that grasped it, her eyes red and raw from the tears and the worst night of sleep she'd had in weeks. "Maybe Joel is right." She wondered aloud. "Maybe this is all my fault and I deserve this. I'd hate me too."

Maria shook her head defiantly at Ada's words, reaching over to take the glass from her and placing it back onto the coffee table between them. "Joel doesn't hate you. And as far as blame goes...I'd say we're all at fault for how we handled this. Some of us more than others." She stated bitterly, her blue cold eyes glaring at her husband sitting across from her on the living room couch. A small rag of wrapped ice held to his face. The man rolled his eyes and scoffed, pulling the ice pack from his nose and resting it by his knee as he leaned forward.

"I already told you that I was sorry. I don't know what else you want me to say."

"And I told you to keep that damn ice on your nose to take down the swelling." She berated without taking a breath. "You had no right to go behind Ada's back like that! And Joel didn't deserve to find out the way he did either!"

She was right. Tommy knew she was right. Always was. He owed his brother a hell of a lot more than yelling the truth at him like he had. But he had just been so angry. So frustrated; it had come out before he could stop it and then it had been too late to take it back. He honestly hadn't expected Joel to react the way he did. So cold and harsh with the way he'd shouted at Ada...Tommy knew how much his brother loved her. And yet he'd all but ambushed the poor woman to get answers. He uttered another apology and sat back with the ice cooling his throbbing nose that was now beginning to bruise. He didn't blame Ada for hitting him either; he'd definitely deserved it. There were a lot of things all of them wished they could've done differently. Hindsight was a nice thing in theory but now it was proving to be painfully useless once the damage was already done.

His sister in law rose from her seat and as he watched her pace about the room, the more his guilt niggled at him. She ran her hands through her greying roots and down through the fading brunette locks that cascaded down her back, they were still shaking as she moved to rest them on her neck while she continued pacing.

"Ada..." He tried cautiously." Ada..."

"You shouldn't blame Tommy for this Maria, this is my fault." She interjected and paused looking down at the blonde who could only give the woman a look of pity in return. "I mean it, Joel was right with everything he said. I'm a fucking coward!" The couple shared a look as Ada laughed bitterly at her words. "I was too afraid to deal with what happened so I left. Because I was terrified that if I had stayed...If I had tried to help him remember, forcing him to live with a damn stranger; he'd eventually decide that life was better without me. It's stupid and it's selfish..." her voice quivered as she held back tears, her arms falling from her neck to hold herself. "...but there it is."

Maria was quick to reassure her; rushing to her feet and pulling her into a hug. Ada pulled back as she was offered an old handkerchief from the other woman's pocket. Her sniffles subsiding as she was encouraged to sit down again.

"Ada, Joel loves you. He might not remember that but it doesn't just go away. You still have a chance to fix things."

Ada scoffed out a wet sob and shook her head. "No...it's over Maria. As far as he's concerned; I'm just the coldhearted bitch that abandoned him."

"Wait...Joel actually said that?" Tommy asked aghast, his eyes wide. The woman just shrugged dismissively. "He didn't have too...Though it's nothing less than I deserve.

Tommy wished she would stop being so hard on herself. He understood her guilt more than most and he hadn't even agreed with the plan in the first place. It just hadn't sat right with him to lie to Joel about his family. But then he'd spoken to his brother and realized just how much of his memory had been lost. And it seemed that he was losing himself in it. Joel was becoming angry and bitter at the world for taking something from him, for harming him in a way he hadn't been able to control. It was eerily similar to the darkness he'd descended into when he'd lost Sarah. When he'd lost all hope for happiness and decency. There was no mercy or love. It was just a means to an end in order to survive. That wall that Joel had built around himself to keep the world out. To keep emotions just out of reach. And Tommy feared his brother falling into it again. Ellie and Ada had pulled him out of it once, he had hoped they would've been able to do it again. Now he was starting to worry he'd been wrong.

He pulled back the rag and thankfully it seemed as though his nose had stopped bleeding. He discarded the spoiled cloth on the coffee table; taking in the silence that had fallen in the room. Both his wife and sister in law sat quietly with the same tired looks and stern frowns upon their faces. No one had the answers anymore, no matter how much they pretended they did.

"Ada..." his voice was quiet but it caught her attention as she glanced up at him. "I'm sorry."

She nodded meekly and smiled. "Me too. I'm sorry I punched you in the face." He laughed; waving his hand coolly as he shrugged. "Nah, don't worry about it. I mean I'm pretty sure you broke my nose but ya know...we're good sis." Ada laughed as Maria jokingly rolled her eyes at her husband's dramatics. It was badly bruised at best, both they and Tommy knew that. But Ada appreciated him trying to lighten the mood. It was the first time in a long time that she'd truly laughed since Joel's attack. And it was nice to feel something other than grief for even a second.

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Ellie tried to keep up with the rushing of her mind the quicker her pace picked up. She'd already been home to find the place empty, the only other place she could think to check would be Tommy and Maria's to find her mother. Her sneakers skidded slightly against the porch wood when she stopped to tap on the door. Her surrogate aunt greeting her with a warm smile as she opened the front door.

"Is my mom here?" The teen asked softly. Maria simply nodded, letting the young girl inside and following her into the living room. She walked in to find her mom and Tommy sat together chuckling lowly at their shared stories and fond memories. A half emptied bottle of whiskey sitting between them, with three half drunk glasses on the table. Ellie figured the three of them must've been here most of the day. Her mom shifted when she noticed her daughter, scooting along the couch to make room for her. Ellie made her way around the coffee table towards them, wincing when she saw the state of Tommy's face. "Jeez what the fuck happened to you?" She asked in concern. But Tommy just snorted a laugh. "It's a long story, don't worry about it."

The girl scoffed, a sarcastic smile spreading across her face as sat down.

"Is everything okay?"

She couldn't stop herself from fidgeting at her mother's question, instantly going back to her nervous habit. Her fingernail beds were already sore from the hours she'd spent picking at them. "I uh...I can't find Joel. I wanted to talk to him. I stopped by the house but he wasn't there." Stunned silence filled the room at Ellie's admission, Tommy's face full of confusion when he glanced at her beside him.

"Why'd you want to talk to him?" He asked. She took a moment before answering, looking to her mom with sadness in her eyes.

"I heard what happened between you two yesterday. I know what he said about us."

"Oh sweetheart, come here." She didn't say anything as Ada pulled her into her arms, instead just snuggled further into her warmth. Her head leaning against her shoulder. Hands once buried inside her jacket sleeves.

"I just thought maybe I could try talking to him...maybe if I tell him everything he'd understand or he'd forgive us for leaving." She explained." This is my fucking fault! This happened to him because of me; because of what he did to protect me...I need him to know I'm sorry...that I'm trying to fix things. That I'm trying to make it better and when we find them we can--"

"Wait, hold on, find who?"

Oh shit now Ellie had done it. She pulled back from her mother's arms, a look of guilt pulled at her brows as she chewed nervously at her lip. She tried to avoid eye contact but was only greeted with more accusing stares from Maria and Tommy.

"Ellie.." Maria uttered disapprovingly. But she didn't answer once again, attempting to avoid the eyes staring at her.

"Ellie what aren't you telling us?"

"Promise you won't get mad?" It was a big ask. Ellie knew that when she finally took the chance to look her mother in the eye, hoping that she'd soften even just a little bit. But all she saw was worry and that only made her feel worse for lying to her.

"Ellie." She warned sternly and the girl knew she had to come clean. She took a deep breath, her head falling in defeat as she finally gave in.

"Okay...I lied before. I wasn't staying at Dina's the last couple of days...we've been staying at one of the outposts outside of town tracking the fireflies...or what was left of them from Abbey's group."

"I'm sorry you've been doing what?!" "Are you insane?!" She flinched at both her mother and Maria's outbursts that echoed together in the heavy silence of the room. She shared a look with Tommy as he flashed her a small smile of gratitude but it flickered away as quickly as it came when both women rose to their feet in a rush of anger and frustrated annoyance.

"Ellie, we've talked about this and we agreed to leave it alone."

"No you fucking decided!" The teen challenged as she snapped to her feet, her face snarling into a roaring temper that could easily rival her mother's. "Those fuckers could come back! They already found us once, what's stopping them coming back to finish what they started?!"

Ada scoffed at Ellie's argument throwing her hands up, exasperated they were having this argument yet again! She understood her daughter's worries but she was certain the Fireflies had no reason to come back. They thought Joel was dead and she was determined to keep it that way. They'd had this same conversation again and again and yet every time Ellie would always push back.

"She's right."

The girls all fell silent to the single voice that spoke up, as all eyes turned to Tommy. Maria seething at her husband and Ada downright irritated that he'd shamelessly encourage this reckless behaviour. Ellie just appreciated having Tommy on her side at least.

"Tommy..." Maria warned, her eyes pleading him to stop.

"Well she is! Do you really wanna live the rest of our lives looking over our shoulders?! Just hoping to God that those bastards don't come back. Yeah they think Joel is dead but for how long? They already managed to get word he was living in Jackson in the first damn place...what do you think they'll do when they realise that he's not quite as dead as they thought?" He paused, stopping to look at Ada as she held back her tears, her bottom lip quivering and he was quick to her side. His hand resting on her shoulder.

"Look I'm sorry... I know this is not what you want to hear right now but Ellie has a point. We can end this. If it were any of us, Joel would be halfway there already."

She shook her head, her breath catching in her throat. "No he wouldn't." She argued.

"He absolutely fucking would!" Ellie shouted. Her words stopped them all dead. Knowing looks exchanged between the adults before walking to huddle by the table. They knew Ellie was right. If any one of them in that room had been attacked; Joel would be doing everything he could to get them the justice they deserved. He'd never lay down and let them get away with it. Ada let out a sigh of defeat as she looked back to Ellie, gesturing for her to sit back down. She did, though moved hesitant at first. Ada sat silent, her mind clearing and calculating for a second as she sat with her hands rested against her mouth before she eventually lowered them to speak. "So...you were tracking those bastards...did you find any?" She asked apprehensively. Ellie swallowed hard and cleared her throat, sitting up in her seat before nodding.

"Yeah...Dina and I watched the area for hours. Most of the group left but a couple stayed behind at the hunting lodge. Two of them...I don't know their names. They were packing up their stuff. We followed them out when they went hunting for food. Managed to lure some infected on the way back..." Ellie didn't realise she was shaking as she spoke until her mother took her hand and squeezed it gently. "We stood and watched as the clickers tore those fuckers apart.."

"Good riddance." Tommy stated bitterly.

"I came back to tell you what happened but then I heard the neighbours gossiping about what happened between you and Joel, all that stuff he said. I thought I could fix it. But when I went to the house he wasn't there. So I sent Dina to ask around town if anyone had seen him and I came here." Adaline nodded slowly, taking everything in. She looked at Tommy and Maria both sharing the same lost look on their faces. They all knew what they needed to do next. It was just a case of whether they had any strength left to do it.

Though Ada never got the chance to answer; instead their heads turned to the direction of stomping footsteps and the door bursting opening to a breathless Dina, panting as she almost slipped on the doormat under her boots. Ellie flew to her feet and darted to her girlfriend, asking her what was wrong.

"It's Joel!" She gasped. "He's gone..."

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 16 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 3 K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

<- Previous part (15)

Next part (17) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

×

The Loss Of A Friend

You've never been to a funeral. Well, you did, but you were a kid and you didn't know the family friend who was being buried that day. In your child's mind, you didn't get why everyone was wearing black, in uncomfortable silence, crying all day long. You remember clearly that a blue bug got your attention, making your eyes follow its every move, making you smile despite the sad atmosphere.

It couldn't be more different today.

As the coffin is lowered into the ground, where Jason will forever rest now, you hold Billy's hand, the soft fabric of your black dress tickling your tights. You barely feel it though, all your sensations resumed to the weight in your chest, crushing, squeezing your ribs, smashing your heart.

You suddenly remember the day Monica introduced you to Jason. It was the Saturday before you started working at the pool, in the parking lot of Starcourt Mall. He had his little brother on one arm, and the girl walking beside him, tugging on the hem his shirt.

“So that's the new girl.” He said, a smile spreading across his lips as he reached out his hand for you to shyly shake. “I'm Jason, born to bear the weight of being Monica's cousin, but also the coolest guy you'll find in Hawkins.”

That, of course, started a small war of cheesy pick-up lines, insults, and sarcastic comments. You laughed, feeling easily welcomed by Monica's cousin.

Now, what gets your attention is how his young siblings cry, yell, calling out Jason as is he was just sleeping inside the wooden box and would wake up, smile, and start chasing them around again. He won't. Jason is only a memory now.

“I think we should go,” Billy says in a low voice, letting go of your hand to rub your arms softly.

Nodding, you let him guide you to his Camaro, driving you away from the sea of people dressed in black. You've known Jason for such a little time compared to everyone else here, who saw him grow up, studied with him, lived near him for many years. Your pain is just a speck of dust compared to theirs.

When you get home, the sun is setting. You decide to call Diane, just to make sure she's alright, but you don't tell what happened. It would make her come here immediately, and the last thing you need is someone else you care about being in danger. You have to lie, despite hating yourself for it, telling her that your voice is funny because you had to yell a lot with the kids at the pool. But it's better this way. There are more than enough people here you need to worry about.

“Come here,” Billy calls when you finally head to the bedroom. He sits in the bed, back against the headrest and you're quick to crawl into the bed and into his arms. “How are you feeling?”

“I don't know. Sad doesn't really explain it.” Putting your legs over his, you hide your face on his neck, breathing in your favorite cologne, the only one he uses since the day you told him that. “I can't believe I buried Jason. Jason. My crazy-ass friend.” Your voice cracks and you hold back a sob. “I'll never hear those stupid jokes again.”

“I'm so sorry, princess.” There's a pain in his voice too. Billy has been around Jason a bit, mostly with you. But you know he's actually sad because of how broken you are. You can see it in his eyes, that he wish he could take your pain away, and that he's desperate because he doesn't know what to do.

But there's nothing Billy or anyone else could do. You can't fight death. You can't hit it with a baseball bat full of nails until it gives your friend back. The only thing you can do is avenge him. Get whatever took him and destroy it.

“I wanna kill those Demothings.” The anger in your voice is tangible, and you clench your hands into fists. “I swear to God, Billy, I'll kill one of them myself.”

“Anger won't help. We need to be smart about it. We need a strategy.” Billy is often angry with things. Mostly with things that hurt you, but this time, you get why he's taking another path, trying to calm you down instead of putting more wood in the fire. “The meeting is set for tomorrow. We'll find a battle plan to kill those damn things.” His hand comes to lay on your thigh, fingers softly caressing your skin. “But for now you need to rest, ok? I'll cook something you like and then we'll cuddle watching some nice movie. How does that sound?”

“What if I cry through the movie?” You ask because more tears start rolling down, it doesn't matter how many times you try to get rid of them.

“Then I'll hold you tight.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Billy is kind enough to try and get you into some small talk. Nothing too complicated, nothing related to the Demothings or Jason. You're thankful for that. He even manages to get a few laughs from you, although they're always followed by a reality check when the events of the last two days hit you again, and the smile is gone.

A couple of hours later you're watching Jaws, your head on Billy's chest as you try to follow the events of the movie. But it seems way too fast for you, or it's just your mind that's refusing to process anything that's happening.

You just keep thinking about death. About how Jason's whole life was cut short. How all of his plans for the future were erased.

“Billy, can I ask you something?” Keeping your voice low, you speak up for the first time since you came to the living room after having dinner.

“Of course, princess. What is it?”

Biting your lip, you consider if you should really bring that up. It's selfish to talk about your future when someone else won't have one. But this whole situation made you want to make plans because it's a privilege to still be here. It's a blessing to still have time. “What you said to Joyce about... Marriage. Did you really mean that or–” Pushing yourself up from where you were laying on top of him, you take a deep breath. “–or were you just trying to get out of the conversation. Because it's ok if–”

“Haven't I made it clear that I want to be with you for the rest of my life?” He moves to sit up as well, pulling you close until you're placed in between his legs, a hand caressing your cheek. “Because if I hadn't, I'll make it clear now. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I don't know how it happened, and it did get me by surprise, but the day you walked in the Hawkins Community Pool, I knew something changed in me. I knew I had to get to know you, and I did thought it would pass, that I'd get tired of you as I got of the other girls, but I didn't.” Billy holds you closer to him, your foreheads touching. “You hit me like–”

“Bang.” You finish for him, the memory of the day he was unbelievably honest with you coming back. The day he admitted to you, and somehow to himself too, that he liked you. It was also the day he punched David, and the day he kissed your cheek, making your stomach burn like it has been set on fire.

“Like bang.” He breathes out, warm lips coming in touch with yours. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him as close as you can, the need to feel that he's here, with you, clouding the sound of the TV. Billy moves to lay back down again, and when you move to follow his change of posture, your knee slips and connects to his ribs. “Ouch!” He breathes out, cutting off the kiss.

“Oh, shit. I'm so sorry.” Covering your mouth, you bring the free hand to rub his side. “Sorry, baby.”

Taking a deep breath, he grabs your arm and pulls you down, making you collide on his chest, giggling. “Sorry. I shouldn't be joking around with you now.”

Squinting your eyes at him, you try to get up, but his strong arms come around your body, keeping you from moving. “I hate you, Hargrove.” The fake sentence is soon overcome by a giggle. “I'll kick you right this time, I'm warning you.”

“Oh, I'm shaking like a leaf.”

“Don't test me, Hargrove. Keep in mind we sleep on the same bed and I know all of your habits, baby.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Mhmm.” Mumbling, you manage to stand up, moving back into a sitting position. You know he actually let you go, but there's no reason to acknowledge that. Taking a deep breath, the sudden happiness is stained again, as the memories crawl back. It seems like Billy notices because his smile softens. “I love living with you, you know that, right?”

“I love waking up next to you every morning.”

You can't help the smile that comes to your lips as you bend over again, kissing his lips.

On the next day, Billy calls Anthony to ask him to give you a few days off work. Obviously, you have to urge your hothead boyfriend not to curse the manager and risk losing his job. You feel fine to go to the pool, or you think you do, but the truth is you wouldn't be paying much attention anyway. And much to your dismay, Billy gets a total of zero days off. No discussion, what makes him hang up the phone so hard you thought he broke the poor thing.

Since you don't want to be alone, and Billy would absolutely never allow you to be alone in the house when you're friend just died, he drives you to Joyce's place, where the party will gather to make plans.

Saying it's hard to be away from Billy on the day after you buried Jason is a misunderstanding. Seeing him drive away from Joyce's porch makes you feel like he's taking your heart with him. He didn't seem pleased either, but there was no other choice. You wouldn't make him miss the day, since you know Anthony is a terrible human being, just looking for the right excuse to get rid of the lifeguards.

“Honey, come inside,” Joyce calls a hand on your shoulder. “Can I get you something to eat? We had pizza last night and I have a slice in the fridge.”

“No, thank you, Joyce.” Politely, you decline her offer. “Is there any bed I can crash in?”

“Sure. Come.” Walking through Jonathan and Will, you wave at them, muttering a good morning and trying not to cry at their sad faces. They know Jason was a close friend, and, like everyone else, they don't know what to do or say. “This is Will's and Jonathan's room. Just pick a bed.” Nodding, you choose the one on the left and lie down. “Do you need to talk?”

“There's nothing to say.” Putting your head on a pillow, you stare at the ceiling. You feel comfortable around Joyce, she has this mother thing about her. “I just want this to end. Before anyone else gets... Eaten.” The word makes you shiver as it brings the image of his body back. “I wish I wasn't the one to find him. To... See him that way. I don't think I'll ever forget that.”

“Honey, I'm so sorry.” She comes to sit on the edge of the bed. “When... When they found Will's body, it hurt. I knew in my heart it wasn't him, but the very idea of losing my baby was horrible. So I have an idea of how you feel. Losing someone is a pain that doesn't go away. You'll get used to it, but it remains. All we can do is learn to deal with it and honor them by carrying their memories.”

You're crying through her speech, and you can't help but sit up and hug her, crying on her shoulder. “We have to be careful because I can't lose anyone else.” You're not sure if she can even understand what you're saying, but since she nods, you think she did.

“Don't worry, honey. We'll all be alright.” She pulls away, rubbing both your arms. “The kids will be here soon, but feel free to stay here or join us, ok? Do whatever makes you comfortable.”

“Thanks.” Offering her a small, sad smile, you watch as she leaves.

You hear when they get here, the chattering starts, and you can understand a few words here and there. They talk about you, and about Billy and about the funeral. But soon enough it falls into the major problem. And that's when you tune out, staring at the ceiling, trying not to make yourself too comfortable in someone else's bed.

The only thing you want now is Billy. You want to go back to the time where there was no Demogorgon, Demowhatever lurking around. At least to you. It's weird to know what really happened in Billy's car accident, how he was almost the host for the Mind Flayer. You're happy it didn't happen, that he's here now. You need to thank Max for that, actually. If it wasn't for her and the others, your Billy wouldn't be here. He could be dead, and you'd never meet him. He'd never shoot glances at you, or drive you home, buy you tacos or punch David's face. Or kiss you, hold you, love you. The thought of a life without Billy in it is absurd. Now, more than ever, after you lost someone so dear, you have this need to be with him. Just to make sure he's here.

Breathing out and closing your eyes, your hand comes to hold the necklace. It makes you feel closer to Billy, and there is a silent promise here, one you hold close to your heart, together with the earring.

Eyes open, you get up of the bed. You don't care if you got days off, you have to see him. Even if it's just for a hug. Leaving the bedroom, you make your way to the living room, which is crowded.

“We wait until it's late at night to make sure the Demodogs are out, sneak inside the tunnels, and spill insane amounts of gasoline all over it. Get the hell out, wait until it's morning, and set the whole thing on fire.” Dustin says, hands in the air and a smile on his face.

He's kidding, right? He can't be suggesting that as if it's the greatest idea of the world. “Are you completely insane?” You ask, making your presence known. Arms crossed, your eyes scan through the party. “You can't possibly think this is a good idea.”

“I agree with (Y/N), this is insane,” Joyce adds, her face making it clear she thinks this idea sucks. “I won't let you do that.”

“But–”

“The point is to kill them without getting ourselves killed. And every single idea you come up with has a hundred different ways to get us killed.” Steve says, both his hand on his hips as he paces around the room. “Who thinks this idea sucks raise your hand.” He's the first to do it, and Joyce, you, and Jonathan do the same.

“Count Billy in.” You say, raising the other hand as well.

“And Hopper,” Joyce states, giving you an approving stare.

“It's six against seven. We're doing it.” Dustin exclaims.

“No.” You basically shout, not caring one bit if you sound bossy. All eyes lay on you as you struggle to keep it together. “We're not doing it and that's final.”

“I–”

“I just lost a friend and I will not let you do something that might just end up in another funeral.” There are tears threatening to fall again, but you hold them back. “So come up with something else.”

The silence is deafening. You know you're breaking down again, even though the tears aren't rolling down. Yet.

“Please. There's gotta be something else.” Lowering your voice and looking down at your feet, you beg. You can't even think about someone else dying. You couldn't bear it.

“I saw this thing at school. Like a robot with remote control.” Lucas starts. “If we could build a bunch of them and attach a hose, we could guide it inside the tunnels and spread the gasoline.”

“Yeah, but there are seven holes. Which means a lot of ground we'd have to cover.” Eleven adds as you make your way to the group, sitting on the couch beside Joyce.

“Let's blow up six of them.” You burst out, crossing your legs. “A hell of a explosion that would take those things days to dig it back. Then there will be only one way in and out. Find a hell of a long hose or just connect a bunch of them and a million gallons of gas. The robots will spread it then we'll just need a match.”

“That's good. It could work.” Nancy says. “But we'll need to chip in to buy all these things.

“Hopper can get some for free I'm sure.”

“We start right now.” Mike stands up and the others follow. “Let's get started.”

The rest of the day is hectic. Lists are made, one of the kids teachers come over to help with what they called a summer project. For fun. And the materials started arriving. You don't really know what to do, so you help Joyce make lunch, keeping up with her small talk. Joyce is easy to be around, and you like to hear her stories about Will and Jonathan. You even manage to show a few smiles every now and then. After everyone is fed, you finally sit on the porch, trying to help as much as you can. The kids are genius, literally building remote control robots from random pieces and the instructions from books. It's amazing. Since you can't really be of much help in this aspect, you join Nancy, separating stuff or doing anything they tell you too.

When the sun is setting, some of them had to go home to gather their stuff. They'll crash here and take the robot construction through the night. By the moment you hear the faint noise of Billy's car, it's just Joyce's kids, Steve and Dustin. Leaving the small pieces of metal you were shaping into tiny little circles, you stand up abruptly.

“Where are you going? These circles aren't going to make themselves.” Dustin complains, raising his hands in the air.

“Billy is back.” There's no need for further explanation, so you tiptoe among the stuff, careful not to step on anything.

“It could be anyone.”

“Dustin, is there any other car in Hawkins that sounds like that?” As you speak, the noise gets louder and Billy's car comes to your sight.

“She knows her boyfriend's car.” Steve jokes as you walk to the yard, smiling when Billy stops the car and comes out.

“Miss me, princess?”

“Obviously.” It's a feeling of pure relief to see him. It feels like it's been so much longer than just some hours, but you feel that you'll have this insane need to be around him for a while. Just to enjoy the fact that you're still alive. You can't help but wonder for long the idea of death will hover over you... Probably forever.

“You ok?” He asks, his hand on your hair as you have your head on his chest.

“I will be.” Remembering the audience, you pull away, standing on your toes to kiss him. “Dustin had a terrible idea but I made him change his mind about it.”

“How did you do that?”

“I yelled.” With no intention of further explanation, you turn at the guys. “I'll be back tomorrow morning, alright? Have fun doing crazy science.” Waving at them, you get into the car.

You would like to stay at Joyce's, keep helping as much as you can, but you feel like you need silence and peace. The kid's laughter and jokes make you feel better, but you know that you also need to let the sadness creep over for a while. Keeping it hidden, disguised, makes no good. So as you dry and brush your hair, waiting for Billy to finish his shower, you cry.

For Monica, for Jason's younger siblings, his mother, his father, uncle, and aunt. For every friend he made since he was born. And for yourself too. Jason was one of the people that you imagined you'd be around for the rest of your life.

You're dragged away from your thoughts by the phone's ring. Rushing to answer it, you find it's Joyce, kindly asking if you can pick Mike up and drive him to her place, and of course, you comply.

“Billy.” You call when you hear him coming out of the bathroom. “Joyce needs us to pick up Mike. Nancy can't stop what she's doing there.”

“Sure. Let's go.”

Being out at night makes you anxious, but you try not to let it show. Eyes on the road, you bounce your leg nervously, tugging on the seat belt. Billy notices, and a hand comes to rest on your thigh.

“We'll be fine. Relax.”

“I'm trying.” Stretching your arm, you touch his neck. “I'm sorry if I can't stop thinking about Jason and what happened.”

“(Y/N), you just lost a friend. My responsibility as your boyfriend is to hold and love you through this process. Don't apologize.”

“I don't want this to be your responsibility, Billy.” When he turns his head to look at you, you run your fingers through his jaw.

He takes a deep breath, pulling over by Mike's house. You were about to get out, but since he doesn't move, neither do you. Billy looks like he's thinking, furrowed eyebrows and distant eyes. “Billy? Come back to Earth.” You decide to ask, taking off the belt and turning your body towards his.

“To have and to hold. For better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” He squints his eyes through the words, trying to remember them. It takes a while for you to understand what he means, and when you do, your heart starts drumming in your ears. “To love and cherish till death do us part.”

“Billy...”

“It means I'll stand by your side. Not because I feel like it's my responsibility, but because I love you. And I'm more than happy to take the responsibility of being your–”

“Couldn't you save that up for, I don't know, someday when I'm dressed in white?” The words come out fast, and you're blushing hard, your cheeks burning. “No. You had to do this now. Drive me insane now in your Camaro.” You roll your eyes dramatically when his lips break into a smile, that smug, cocky smile he has when he knows he got to you somehow.

“Be my wife, (Y/N).”

“No.” It's an utter absurd how hard you have to fight not to say the exact opposite. You want to just burst out the word, here and now, because you're so damn sure you want Billy for the rest of your life. “No, baby. We'll graduate, save up money and you'll make a decent proposal.” You hope he can't notice your hands shaking as you step out of the car, almost stumbling on the sidewalk. His words burn through your mind, sending shivers down your spine. “I won't say I'll marry you in the middle of the sidewalk, in the middle of the night, in front of Mike's house.”

“Did I just make you nervous?” Billy's arms come to encircle your waist, his deep voice, and breath on your hair making you sigh.

“Shut up, Hargrove.” With the sweet sound of his laughter on your ear, you knock on the front door, trying to push him away before someone comes to answer. “Let go.”

“Are you using my cologne again?” As soon as he asks, you feel his nose softly rubbing your neck, what makes you giggle and try to push him away again, uselessly. “You are.”

It wasn't your intention to let him find out, but he always does. “Well, it was–”

The door is suddenly open, a yellowish light hitting your eyes as you try to stand up straighter. The woman standing there gives a step back as if she just saw a ghost. Her eyes fly from Billy and back at you, then all the way back to Billy. It hits you suddenly as you realize she's Mrs. Wheeler, the woman Billy was going to meet on the day the Mind Flayer almost got him. They haven't met or spoken since that day, and you weren't expecting her to look so... Perplexed. You try to read her expression, to understand what the look in her eyes means.

“Hello, Mrs. Wheeler.” You manage to say because Billy clearly won't even try to be polite. You feel his muscles tensing up, as he gets immediately uncomfortable under the woman's stare since she doesn't seem to even try to hide. “Sorry to disturb you. We're here for Mike.”

×

@chloe-skywalker @dpaccione @dreamin-of-dacre @funeral-7 @uncookspaget @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @halloweenbitch2764 @redlovett @multific @shinydixon @nikkixostan @clockworkballerina @nope-thanks

[lovelytarou]

tidal waves

pairing: atsumu miya x reader

genre: angst, suggestive

tags: high school sweethearts(?), breakup, strangers to lovers, mentions of cheating

a/n: i was about to put in some warnings for toxic relationship, but i couldn't do that to tsumu i don't hc him as someone who would do such a thing to his lover. also this is not proofread!!

atsumu is like a wild current, when you get taken by his strong waves, there is nothing else to do than just go with his flow.

this is osamu’s life ever since they were kids. it was nothing forced, he loved hanging out with his twin. although sometimes, atsumu could be a handful.

even while playing, atsumu is like a roaring tide – ready to take on whatever stands in his way and granted, he always gets what he wants.

his overzealous life is what keeps him going every day, playing with his 100%, not half-assing anything, and living life to its fullest.

atsumu realized he was in love when he had heard your laughter in the hallways.

everything stops then. he could've sworn none of the people that littered the hallways moved, and he felt his heart stop.

there you were – laughing with your friends, a bright beautiful smile on your face and letting out melodious sounds without seeming to notice the effect it had on him.

he could only stare at you for how long before he felt osamu whack him upside the head.

“hey, idiot. you havin’ a stroke or somethin’?” osamu narrowed his eyes on his brother, looking for anything off but he guessed atsumu has always been weird.

“let's go inside, class is about to start–”

“samu, who’s that angel?” atsumu cut him off, gaze still on your retreating figure. his voice sounded distant as him you're taking him with you as you walked away with your friends.

“huh? who? that girl? dunno her,” osamu shrugged before dragging his twin inside the classroom.

all day, you’ve been stuck in atsumu’s mind, not caring at all about the lectures. he had a goofy smile on his face as he stared out the window.

who are you? what is your name? do you know him? what class are you in? are you older than him? what are you doing now? why are you so beautiful?

there are so many questions that atsumu miya would like to know. and the first thing in his list is to ask you on a date.

he sure hopes you’re not dating anybody.

the second time atsumu saw you was when you were sitting inside the gymnasium with a friend, holding what looks to be a bento box. were you giving it to someone? his heart fluttered inside his chest, imagining the receiver to be him.

god, he wished it was him.

his gaze tore off you when a ball hit his head. his glare was immediately wiped off his face when he saw who threw the ball at him.

“atsumu, pay attention.” kita scolded, the cold expression on his face causing a shiver to run up and down his spine. he could really be scary without even trying.

“sorry, captain!” he saluted before jogging off to his position.

osamu had noticed that atsumu felt a little off that day. not in a sense that his performance was bad, per se. more so, he was pushing himself to his limits. other than that, he kept glancing to the stands and doing spontaneous moves with his irritating smirk on his face.

he has always been observant, and he had seen this expression on his twin’s face before.

atsumu likes someone. but he doesn’t know who.

osamu kept a close eye on his twin as they continued practicing. the team they are up against are coming in a moment now and they don’t need to waste any time.

when break came, atsumu kept whining about how his body hurt as he downed his bottle of water. osamu can only roll his eyes as his twin obviously was showing off when he lifted up his shirt and wiped it on his sweating face. a few fangirls of theirs squealed from the stands, and although atsumu would sometimes bask in their praise and screams, this time, he had a pout on his lips as he stared at that same spot once again.

“who the hell are you lookin’ at?” he can't help but interrogate his twin, he's highly suspicious and he wanted atsumu to just spit it out instead of acting this way. or else, his performance will surely affect the game.

“hm? oh, them.” atsumu pointed at you, who’s on the edge of your seat as you looked at their opponent who is now entering the gym.

oh. that girl he heard laughing in the hallway.

his gaze then shifted to what you’re looking at and realized it was the captain of their opposing team you were ogling.

oh.

osamu shook his head, “leave it, ‘samu. yer hopeless.” patting his twin on the back, they jogged back over to greet the other team before the game started.

atsumu played normally throughout the game, albeit a little harshly against your boyfriend. he gave them little to no opening, and they even scored a point lower than theirs. nevertheless, he gripped the captains hand after the game a little too tight with a fake smile on his face.

he followed you as you pranced towards your boyfriend and gave him the bento box. he felt his stomach turn when he leaned down to kiss you. finally, he decided he can no longer watch and turned his back to you.

what a lucky bastard.

atsumu didn’t sleep a wink that night. his thoughts kept drifting back to you, thinking about how he has no hope like what his twin said. he thought about what could’ve been if he was in that guy’s place. he’ll always flaunt the bento you bring him in front of the team, he’ll even take you to their practices and walk you home afterwards. maybe have a date, or just hangout in yours or his house.

he’ll treat you better than that guy.

the next day, atsumu decided he can’t have you and what he feels is only a crush. a crush so intense, he had his heart broken by someone who he doesn’t even know.

the third time he saw you was when you were crying alone in one of the stairs. he was supposed to go back to the classroom that time but he stopped in his tracks when he saw you, head dropped down as your sobs and sniffles echoed. he gulped, feet frozen from where he stood, not knowing whether to reach out for you or if you will even like to be approached right now.

clearing his throat, he took a few steps towards you as he sat a few inches away from you. you gasped when you lifted your head up as you saw him, quickly wiping away your tears as you looked away from atsumu.

“hey, so, uh...you okay?” he was hesitant. he felt like he was approaching a wild animal instead of offering comfort for someone who was crying their eyes out.

“no...” your small voice answered, sniffles followed after that and before he knew it, you were crying again.

his eyes widened in panic as he wracks his mind on what to do.

“hey, shh! uh, calm down. um – shit –i'm sorry, i didn’t mean to make you cry harder, oh fuck–” he decided to put his arms around you and bring your head to his chest. he rocked the two of you from side to side as he shushes you, his hand coming up to stroke your hair.

“there, there.” he patted your head when he felt you calm down. he winced at the wet patch on his uniform but he didn’t comment about it. “a beautiful person like you shouldn’t be crying, anyway.”

he heard you let out a breathy chuckle as you pull yourself away from him. a tinge in his heart made him wish that you hadn’t pulled away from him too soon. all his feelings from long ago suddenly rushed back, looking at your tear streaked face and reddened nose. even after crying you looked radiant.

“sorry about that, i don’t usually go around crying on strangers.” you forced a smile, hiccuping slightly as you forced yourself to calm down some.

“but thank you. i, uh, i needed that.” this time, it was a genuine smile.

“no worries! i just happen to pass by and you know, yer lucky it was me, because if it was somebody else they might take advantage of you or somethin’,” he rubbed the back of his nape, a blushing blooming across his face as he averted his gaze from you.

it was totally not because he realized it was his crush from before and he wanted to comfort you. nope!

“sorry about your uniform, um...” your eyes switched to his face then to his tear stained uniform.

“atsumu. atsumu miya. but you can call me ‘tsumu,” he offered his hand, blush still on his face. you told him your name as you shook his hand.

“i can wash it for you if you want?” even if your offer might sound like he might have a chance to see you again, he decided he doesn’t want to burden you with it and shook his head no.

“nah, i’ll be fine. don’tcha worry yer pretty little head over it.” he went and ruffled your hair, making you smile as you rolled your eyes and swatted his hand away.

“you know, there’s something that can help you feel better.” he added, a thoughtful look on his face. for a moment, you admired how expressive he is with his emotions. you can’t deny that he looks cute.

atsumu dragged you away from the stairs and out of the campus. your eyes widened in shock upon realization that you two are going outside despite the class not being over yet. what is with this guy? what if he’s a delinquent all along!

“um, atsumu, we shouldn’t be leaving the school right now...” your worried tone made him turn his head to you and flashed you a grin. you swore your heart skipped a beat when he smiled at you like that.

“don’t worry, i’m sure you can ace yer classes, anyway. and yer goin’ to like this, i promise!” you can’t help his energetic self rubbing off on you and let him lead the way to wherever it is he’s going to take you.

he might look all suave and composed, but inside he’s panicking just by the feel of your soft palm against his.

you’re holding hands, for heaven’s sake! he just comforted you because you were crying and now he’s holding your hands! he might pass out at this point, but he’s not done with his mission just yet. he wouldn’t let this day end without you being at least a little bit happy.

you both stopped in front an ice cream stand that many students also frequented. atsumu dug in his pockets for money, his tongue poking out. he paid the vendor and soon, he’s holding two ice cream cones with his favorite flavor.

“try this! it’s the best!” he handed you the other ice cream cone, immediately scarfing his own as he watched your face expectantly.

you took a small lick on the cold dessert and you were suddenly taken to heaven. whatever this is he gave you, it was good.

you moaned when the flavors bursted in your tongue, “you’re right! this is the best!”

atsumu laughed at your face, ice cream making a mess on your lips, near your cheek and even your nose! it was cute for him, and he felt himself fall in love all over again.

when you noticed him staring at you with an amused smile on his face, you tilted your head in confusion, hand going up to swipe at your cheek. but it only made the mess even worse by the action.

“what’s wrong, ‘tsumu? is there something on my face?”

atsumu shook his head as he bit his lip, holding back his laughter.

“nope, yer all good! nothing wrong with yer face at all!” turns out you didn’t trust him so you went to the car parked on one of the stores nearby. you gasped upon looking at your reflection. you were a mess!

nothing wrong with my face, my ass.

“tsumu! you’re so mean!” you whined, immediately wiping your face with a tissue that came with the ice cream.

the man in question only laughed at your reaction. you can only glare at him playfully as he seemed to almost run out of breath from laughing at you.

meanwhile, atsumu can’t help but think that this is probably one of the first time in a while where he laughs happily. and it’s over something stupid as seeing your face with ice cream.

“s-sorry! can’t help it, you looked ridiculous!” he managed out in between laughs.

once he calmed down, he apologized sincerely to you dragged you once again to who knows where.

the two of you skipped class that day.

since then, you and atsumu kept hanging out. usually with his twin, osamu, and sometimes tagging you along to their volleyball practices and even introducing you to the whole team. everybody seems to know you already from how much atsumu has told them about you. he can’t help it, you’re just so amazing that you take his breath away.

it didn’t take them too long to notice how much you two grew closer and closer.

atsumu has never been the one to be nervous before, during, and after their games. he likes to call himself level-headed when it comes to tense situations, not immediately letting his nerves take control of his body and consume him.

he lived for the thrills of life.

so, why, when he looks at you as you smile at him while pointing to a cotton candy stand did he feel his heart race a mile a minute? he was just going to ask you out.

and if you said no, then he’ll understand. it wouldn’t be the first time he’ll experience heartbreak.

“look, ‘tsumu! they have a lot of cotton candy there! let’s go, maybe we can buy some before they ran out.” you tugged at his hand and pulled him towards the stand. he lets himself get dragged by you. he paid the vendor absentmindedly.

throughout the day, atsumu keep glancing at anything except for you. he even forgot to eat his own cotton candy and instead let you eat it.

when you asked him to go to the rides in the fair, he agreed, which is why you both find yourself in the front seats of the roller coaster.

okay, since when the hell did the two of you get there?

he looked over at you who’s smiling from ear to ear, screaming in excitement as you put your arms in the air. you looked so beautiful, still so amazing in his eyes. he doesn’t deserve you but he doesn’t want to let you go ever again.

the ride is pulling back, back, back until it snapped. there was a deafening silence before the ride fell slowly then faster and faster until it threw you into a high spiral.

you were screaming, the people behind you were screaming, but atsumu can only shut his eyes because he was feeling dizzy.

“y/n! will you go out with me?!” he shouted into the air. there was absolutely no way that you can hear him over the screams and the air attacking your ears.

“what?!” you screamed back.

“will you go ou–”

“no, i heard you! i was just asking if you were serious!”

“yes i am! i'm in love with you!”

your heart flew along with the rollercoaster and you think it was the most memorable moment than all the rides in the amusement park.

“yes!” you laughed, feeling giddy all over. it might be because of atsumu or it could be because of the rollercoaster.

“what?!”

“i’m in love with you too!”

you both went home hand in hand, smiling at each other like two lovestruck idiots.

dating miya atsumu was like being caught in a wild current. and just like everything else when they're taken by his strong waves, you went along and swam perfectly with his flow.

you were there for him when he has a match. wearing his jacket as you cheered for him louder than the school’s band. he appreciates it, really. he finds it endearing how you showed all of your support for him and in turn, he scored every point for you and only you.

he’s the sweetest boyfriend. promising you’ll never regret a moment if you agreed to go out with him. a date turned into two, and before you knew it, you’re both falling deeper and deeper in love with each other.

he has your restaurant orders memorized, almost like muscle memory at this point from how often you two always spent time with the other. you even know where he last put something of his when you both decided to move in together.

college came and the two of you can’t help the stresses it came with it. yet, the flame of your love couldn’t burn any brighter. despite the hectic schedules, you both find a way to spend even at least a day with the other. squeezing in dates in the weekends, study dates on wednesdays, even hanging out sometimes in the cafeteria.

then there was that party after they won against another univerity’s team. it was loud, the place packed with people, swimming with drinks and drunk in the thrill of the party.

he has an arm wrapped on your waist protectively as you both wafted through the house. he had a few drinks in him, and when you told him to calm down a bit he only dismissed you saying he can handle himself.

“i’m gonna go and get us drinks, babe. wait here.” he slurred, kissing your temple as he got up from his spot next to you on the couch, waddling through the people to get to where the drinks are.

you stayed put on the couch, eyes straying to the couple making out on the couch across from yours. almost all the people around you are either touching each other or having a lip locking session by themselves.

it made you squirm in your seat as you thought about atsumu’s lips on yours, hands wandering all over your body like what these people are doing right now.

it must be the atmosphere or the alcohol you had downed a while ago, but it suddenly felt too hot. you took off your top layer of your clothes and fanned yourself with your hands.

atsumu still wasn’t back so you decided to get up and check on him, avoiding the grinding bodies of people.

your heart sank, a boiling rage bubbling inside you as you saw him in a corner with a girl who was also very much drunk and all over your boyfriend. she was getting handsy with him and you hated it. you should be the one touching him like that, not some girl in this party that he wouldn’t even remember the day after.

huffing, you walked towards him and grabbed his hand.

“baby, there you are! what took you so long?” your hands flipped his body towards yours so the girl would be stuck with the sight of atsumu’s back.

your boyfriend’s eyes are a little unfocused as he glanced down at you. it widened when he saw who it was, a smile stretching his face upon seeing who it is.

“hey there, yourself.” his eyes drank you in, taking every bit of skin exposed, until they landed on your lips. “god, yer smokin’ hot.”

he captured your lips with his, you let yourself appreciate the moment, hands playing with his hair as you purposely make loud moans while opening your eyes slightly to see the girl he was with a while ago with an enraged look.

i win.

you would've scoffed at her when atsumu’s hands drifted down to your hips, grinding his own to yours as he started nipping your jaw and neck.

“let’s go somewhere private, baby, please.” he suckled on the spot near your collarbone before travelling back up to your neck, lips nibbling on your earlobe, “wanna touch you, wanna feel you, please, baby, please.”

the neediness laced in his tone almost made your knees give out underneath you. a hot liquid feeling inside of you swirling in your stomach as you felt arousal cloud your whole being.

biting your lip, you nodded at him, pecking his lips one last time before dragging him to a more private place.

you stopped in front of a room, knocking first to see if there’s anyone inside. when no one answered, you both proceeded to go in, locking the door behind you. atsumu was quick to pin you against the door, attacking your lips with rough kisses as he grinded his pelvis against yours.

“fuck, baby,” he moaned between kisses, “i want you, ‘m gonna make you feel so fucking good,” it wasn’t a promise, more so it was a statement. you know, he’s going to make you feel so good by the end of the night, and you don’t doubt that one bit.

“ah! i know, baby. nnngh– fuck,” you whimpered when his hand travelled down to touch you beneath your bottoms, “l-let’s move this to the bed,” you panted, out of breath just from him kissing you alone.

it took him a while to get his hands off you and process the words you said to him. he lifted you up with ease and threw you onto the bed, removing both of your clothes with lightning speed. he couldn’t wait anymore, he just wanted to be inside you, entangled with you.

before he can position himself inside you, however, you pushed him down with all your might and straddled his hips.

you showed him just who he belongs to that night.

you thought it was silly, the next day you asked him about the girl last night. it sparked something in him, causing him to snap at you.

“what do you want me to say, y/n? that i’m cheatin’ on you? for fuck’s sake, i don’t even know the girl! so will you stop bitchin’ about it?!” he was seething, not even sparing you a glance as he spat those words at you.

your chest felt tight as you stared at him with disbelief.

many fights followed after that.

atsumu realized he fell out of love for you when he doesn’t look forward to coming home. he looks like a robot, emotionless as he only grunted to acknowledge your presence, if he even acknowledged it at all.

you would eat together, but no word will be spoken unless it would start another fight.

it was getting tiring, to say the least. every other day, all the two of you have been doing was make up, fight again, then make up. you would storm off, he would follow after you, you will both apologize, you will fight again in the morning, the house will be filled with angered screams.

you both lied in bed, backs facing each other, feeling the cold wrapping the two of you like a blanket.

he never invites you to his games anymore. never puts any effort on dates, or even study dates the two of you were used to doing. you rarely even see his face unless it was to come home and get his stuff and then he was gone. sometimes days, weeks, it even came to a point where he disappeared for a month.

the both of you don’t even know, how or why you started fighting like this. how you both drifted apart when it’s been going great to the two of you.

as per usual, it was osamu who noticed the whole ordeal. he never saw you with his twin anymore, never brings you up to any conversation. the light in his eyes seemed to dull, and he looked like he wasn’t getting any sleep.

“how’s y/n, by the way? you seemed to stay here more than yer guys’ own place,” he wss just making small talk, moving around his own kitchen as he prepared dinner for himself and his twin who’s sitting on his couch in the livingroom, busy playing games.

“fine. just busy with her studies ‘s all,” atsumu nonchalantly replied, paying half a mind to what his brother was saying.

“you guys doing alright?” osamu almost broke the bowl he was holding when atsumu let out a curse.

“i just said we’re fine, samu! god, this is why i don’t want to stay here in the first place.” atsumu stormed off, throwing the controller on the couch before slamming the door shut.

osamu doesn’t understand why his brother got mad at that. but judging by his reaction, things with the two of you weren’t fine at all.

it was cold when atsumu went outside, his own breaths coming out in smoke as he leveled his breathing. if somebody mentioned you one more time, he’s sure he was going to lose his shit.

he brought out his phone, dialling a familiar number and bringing the device to his ear, waiting for it to ring.

“are you home right now?”

moans and sounds of slapping of skin reverberated in the room. both of their sweaty bodies moving against each other desperately. it felt good, too good. but it wasn’t you, atsumu know that. but for a while, it made him forget about you.

with her, he can control her however he wanted. pleased him however he wanted. without complaints, without second thoughts, she simply just allows him to use her body whichever way he wanted.

“a-ah! atsumu, i– fuck! i lo-love you–”

atsumu gripped the girl’s neck, cutting off her air slightly but not completely, enough to make her lightheaded.

“shut up, cumsluts don’t talk unless i order them to,” he punished them with bruising thursts of his hips, chasing after his own release.

the girl screamed louder and louder. it felt too good, he hits all the right spots leaving her to roll her eyes to the back of her head, seeing stars behind her eyelids.

atsumu stayed the night in the girl’s house, limbs entangled as they fucked again and again and again until all thoughts of you disappeared from his head.

two weeks later, he texted you saying he wants to break up. you felt suffocated. lungs fighting over the sobs wracking your body as you hugged yourself tight. after being disconnected with him for so long, worrying yourself over where he could’ve gone or how he was. he’s only going to give you a text saying he wanted to break up without even sparing you an explanation? it’s like you didn’t even spend years together.

your brain remembered his words from when you first started dating. he said you will never regret a moment when you agreed to go on a date with him.

yet as you found yourself lost in his wild tidal waves, the water choking you and not allowing you air to breathe, you were only left drowning in the sea.

turns out you couldn’t swim along with his flow anymore.

[dreamiesdotcom]

butterfly effect│nct dream

Summary: You think of it as something caused by the butterfly effect — the great loves you had to leave, and the one that made you stay.

Pairing/s: 7dream x Reader

Word Count: 12k

Moon's note: since it's my birthday and I promised... it's not the best but I'd like to thank you guys for staying with me and wishing me a happy birthday! I hope you all have an awesome 2021!

You weren't really thinking straight when you met him — instead, your mind was a mess of one thought and sidelines; the little things. Butterfly effect. The knowledge that ten minutes from now the train will board — you'll miss your ride to school, you'll miss school — so you run faster, faster, and there it goes. The butterfly effect — knowing that what little thing you did could've changed someone's life entirely.

If you have made it ten minutes earlier, maybe you'd be sitting in the spot where a child buzzes with excitement, knowing that she'll see her father sometime soon, and in exchange, she will be in another place — maybe she won't meet the girl sitting across who offers her one of her candies. Maybe she won't be riding the train at all — maybe she would have to wait six months again before she can go see her dad.

You sulkily take the path to one of the exits, thinking about catching the bus or something. The skies are dark and you're aware of its plan, also aware that you left your umbrella. Frustrated and too annoyed to even think about school, you crash to the empty bench, bags left to drop to the floor. Tough luck. 

The boy chuckles, "Missed the train too?"

"Yeah," you grumble, not even bothering that he's a total stranger. "Was caught in a daydream and got lost on the way. You?"

"Eh, my idiot of a best friend made me wait," he shrugs. He brings his book down and offers you a handshake, "I'm Huang Renjun — I see we study at the same place. May I know your name?"

You don't speak after a minute or two, but you shake his hand, to which he laughs at. You think it was you being overwhelmed. Maybe your soul just knew how much impact he was meant to throw at your life.

Huang Renjun doesn't become a one-time encounter, but instead, he becomes someone you take train rides with; be it you're late or not, to school or to the library. He stays constant occurrence, so much that Huang Renjun turns into Renjun, then Renjunnie — until you're free to call each other names like 'dumbass' and 'stupid' and everything crumbles down; formalities, facades, walls. You don't feel it then, but if you were to look back, you think it's that one dark-skied Monday with you two terribly late and finding yourselves back in the same bench, when everything the world laid down for you has shifted.

Renjun pout his lips, bored. He tears his bag from himself and lets it stay under the shed, but he stretches his hands out to the sky where his eyes are set, watching water fall in tiny drizzles before a full-blown rain, "Perhaps, dance under the rain with me?"

"When we should be at school?" you huff, more amused than questioning but it comes out as a scolding. He only nods his head, and you furrow your brows, "Renjun, you're crazy."

He doesn't reply, only answers with a deadpan gaze that asks Are you going or not? and it makes you tighten your expression further. 

"Hold me."

The boy grins in triumph — he cheekily smiles, immediately pulling you under the rain and laughs like a tiny kid. It's contagious, you figure out, his laughter; if not for his hand on your waist and the other entwined with yours, you would've fallen over laughing with him. It was less of a dance and more of a cuddle, swaying to the sound of the rain and his sweet hums. Renjun whispers to you the melody of a love song, and you couldn't help but ponder.

"I always wanted to do this, you know?" you feel silly even confessing, "To dance under the rain with someone, look into each other's eyes, exist as if the world doesn't and maybe give them a kiss. I wonder how that'd feel."

Renjun's serenity read ideas — those that never failed to get you two in trouble. He tilts his head, "Kiss me, then."

You feel like the world stops, and your heartbeat slows, as if the raindrops are little speckles of star-like lights littering the surroundings. Your eyes widen at his suggestion, shock ripping through your body, a confused sound escaping your throat, "What?"

"I guess you don't always need to have feelings for the person you're kissing," Renjun purses his lips. Of all people, you laugh in your head, those words you expected to come out of this one's mouth the least. He huffs, "And I don't have feelings for you."

There's just enough hesitation — uncertainty, unpredictability, skepticism — in his eyes that you find he can't be trusted as much as he normally would be. Renjun drops a half-smile, eyes unreadable, "But I sure do know I want to kiss you. A lot. Right now." 

Renjun smiles in victory the second time that day.

═ ∘❁∘ ═

You come across Donghyuck in the most inconvenient way possible; a few months after you started dating Renjun and there's a little too many mishaps with making schedules meet. He strides to your chair one sunny Friday, clothes too colorful for the shades of beige decorating the place. Donghyuck didn't know how to approach you; he just kind of winged it by showing you Renjun's texts that he asked him to pick you up because something came up and he can't make it anymore. You didn't really like that — the fact that he didn't even speak, the fact that Renjun stood you up. You thought Donghyuck was arrogant. The car ride home was silent.

He was far from that, you learn the one too many times the same scenario occurred. Renjun was too busy to even show up, more often in the library than in his own place. Donghyuck, being his best friend, never failed to be there for you, keep your relationship intact, make excuses for the other. He'll pick you up from where you were supposed to meet your boyfriend, grab food and spend the whole day playing video games that only he understands, and then half of the time he'll compliment you with little playful remarks. That day was supposed to be nothing so different from the others — it's just that it didn't take much longer for Donghyuck to fall.

How could he not? You smiled so lovingly and spoke so gently, always so understanding and patient and kind. How can he not, when he's already known what song makes your day the most? When he saw how ethereal you looked under the moonlight, as he danced with you by the shore? Sure, maybe most of these moments wouldn't have been if it wasn't for Renjun's absence, and truly most of the things he loves about you aren't for him; he fell in love anyway. Still, that day was supposed to be nothing so different from any others — you're stuck in the odd place quite between grateful and guilty.

"Something came up, he won't be here." The boy says firmly through gritted teeth, hands-on your wrist trying to make you get up, "Please. He doesn't have his phone. He's not coming anymore, let's go home."

"Let me wait for him, please," you say, eyes teary, "Please, Donghyuck."

"No." He simply mutters, and whether it was the sinking feeling of defeat or the determination in his voice, it doesn't matter. You let yourself get tugged away from that place, feeling weak and oddly empty. The car ride home was silent. 

"Thanks a lot, you know?" You shyly say later, once Donghyuck's lost enough in video games and he's run out of knock-knock jokes and witty statements. He couldn't stand the sight of you with your head hung low and eyes teary, "You're always there for me when Renjun is not and... just thank you."

"You're welcome," he sincerely replies. You try to look for it, the lilt in his voice or the smirk stretching his lips, but all you see is worry, and it concerns you. The bad butterflies in your stomach, the bad thoughts in your head; you feel like right now, with you so vulnerable, there should be someone by your side — someone that is totally not Donghyuck. He clears his throat, "You know he didn't mean to, right? He wants time with you too, a lot, you know?"

"I know what I have, Hyuck," you reply, a chuckle at the end of your tone. You lean your back to the couch, head tilted up and voice hoarse, "and I'm fucking scared I'll take him for granted."

Donghyuck's heartbeat slows down, but you don't need to know that. If you're thinking of a similar situation, a place in time back then as cruel winters and as harsh as summer sunlight in the afternoon, you figure he doesn't need to know that, too.

You let out a huff and a smile, "I don't want to know how painful it is to lose Huang Renjun."

Donghyuck thinks he knows why you said it; things normally go down the drain when you start realizing why someone fell for a certain person — at least, he thinks. If his experience is a reliable source, this is the point where you start falling for that person too. When you see how gentle they are, how caring, how understanding. Maybe Donghyuck is lonely — maybe he just wants to be someone who holds another person, singing them lullabies until they fall asleep, much like Renjun does for you. Maybe you're really just lovely — maybe there's an undiscovered force in the universe that places you in the center of his everything. He makes note of the rejection in your confession, and he accepts it, gracefully.

This is the point where he suppresses all the what-ifs in his head — what if you gave me a chance? What if I met you first? What if I didn't skip class that day, and I was with Renjun, and I met you at the same time as him? Do you think you would've ended up with me? — but these thoughts, despite being concealed, they leave a constant reminder that they're still there. It's a truth you both already know, the words that drip like honey from his lips, "I could love you better, so much better."

It'd be a lie to say you didn't think of it, considering his feelings. It would be an even bigger lie if you said that you don't think anyone can love you better than Renjun — you know someone can, and with how you two are handling this, it wouldn't be so hard to. Donghyuck is just so easy to fall for — the way he always knows the right thing to say, the compliments he throws at people, how confident he is, how clingy he gets. You would lie if you're asked, but you can't deny having feelings for Donghyuck, you can't deny how many times you've fallen in a reverie thinking of how good it must feel to be adored by him. Maybe you were lonely, maybe Donghyuck was just like that. Either way, no matter how great this love could be, you know it's wrong. 

"I know you could. I couldn't be any happier when I'm with you. Those instants, they're one of the most beautiful moments in my life, but —" you halt, eyes still staring up at the ceiling. The twist in your gut tightens as you proceed, "But in those moments, I was secretly hoping for things. I was hoping that he was the one doing all of that for me. I was hoping that the happiness I had with you, he was giving me instead."

Donghyuck remains silent for a while. He smiles wistfully, "I know."

It's a rather odd answer, but you figure it shouldn't shock you as much anymore. You sit up straight, confused. Donghyuck motions for you to stand as he does the same. Stars shine in his eyes still, but it's a different light — there's hope in them, but it's a difficult kind of hope. He's beautiful even under dull lighting, it's something hard to pronounce; unrestrained and raw, as if one look at him and you'll crumble.

"Please, for just a while, even just a little bit," He steps closer, eyes downcast, "hold me like you love me."

You figure you were right about thinking that there was always something wrongfully more with Donghyuck — also discover that no matter how much more this feeling is, whatever it is, it can never be love; at least not a healthy one. What love could possibly ruin relationships? Donghyuck and Renjun are practically soulmates — they were made to be best friends, and while they had their other friends, nobody is just like Renjun and nobody is like Donghyuck. You don't want them to fall apart; you of all people know how hard it is to lose someone special. 

Donghyuck's hug felt like fire, uninhibited and uncontrolled, given to someone so undeserving. You hold him like you love him the same way.

"I don't need you to love me back," but maybe he was hoping a bit. Yeah. Maybe. "There was never a chance for us, you know? Against my own best friend, I know I won't stand a chance. I just wanted to hear it from you."

A pause.

"Because I can dance with you under the moon, and I can walk on streets holding your hands, I can give you all the time in the world — I could spend a lifetime telling everyone I'm yours," Donghyuck locks gazes with you, and you wonder how he manages to be both heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. He shakes his head a bit, "But that won't make you love me."

"Because I can only ever catch you," he says wistfully "whenever he fails to. I always do, don't I? Catch you, save you, love you. But you're not falling for me. You're not in need of my saving. You're not mine to adore."

He loosens his hug, looks at you like the sun bidding farewell to the moon. He's just as beautiful, if not more, he really is — gold dusting his eyelids and strawberry balm on his lips — he's ethereal. Donghyuck is beautiful in all ways manageable and not, but it's also a different kind of beauty — quite like love, adventurous but uncertain, poetic but tragic. There's a lot of pain in this beauty. He closes his eyes.

"There's not much of us, but I'm setting you free."

═ ∘❁∘ ═

You find yourself knocking at Renjun's door that night, for no particular reason — certain events made you forget that he stood you up. Renjun apologizes and repeats his reasons like a mantra, but words seemed to leave his mouth once he sees your eyes; tired and sore. You don't really need his apologies. You just need him.

Apologies, you see, they almost always never come when they're asked for. When they do, they're mostly unwanted and unnecessary from that point forward. You just feel odd, more restless than you actually are, the world is too loud — you just want to close your eyes and escape for a bit. Renjun holds you silently the whole night, his heartbeat calm, his arms holding you tight and secure.

Renjun knows, but he decides it's better for him not to. He shifts a bit, "If not because of me, why are you sad?"

A part of you knows that this is his way of telling you he understands, that he's aware of what somethings happened behind his back. Renjun always knows. The bigger part of you hoped he didn't — selfishly. You know it's the safest choice to keep your mouth shut. 

You're sad, for a million reasons or for just one, you don't bother keeping up with the numbers. Renjun looks at you like you're a treasure, though, like he means it — you think the only favor you could do him and for yourself as well is to lie. You grin, effectively hiding away the tears threatening to brim your eyes, "I forgot."

He doesn't really know what answer he expected, but his heart sinks at the reply nonetheless. Renjun decides, tomorrow.

Tomorrow comes quickly in a way Renjun wishes it wasn't. He wakes up tired — he was up all night singing lullabies to himself, whispering confessions that wouldn't change a thing and promises he'll never be able to fulfill, stuff that would never make you stay. Renjun didn't cry all night — there was a tear or two, there was three — he didn't just cry all night. He did so much more — relive the past, think that he's sorry, accept defeat and the fact that he's never gonna be enough for you; then he closes his eyes. The rain pours heavily outside and Renjun reaches a hand out to the sky.

"Perhaps, dance under the rain with me?" he says with tired eyes. "One time once more, baby."

You ignore the telltale signs of a heartache — maybe you were too numb, maybe you wanted to pretend it's all normal. Renjun tugs you outside and pulls you into a hug so tight, as if he didn't want to let go but he's losing you. Is he? 

Dancing with Renjun under the rain is oddly similar to the one you shared with Donghyuck under the moonlight, and you find yourself full of guilt as you sway together with him, humming love songs just right next to your ear. 

Renjun knows of that dance, of course he does. He was in front of the place you two were supposed to meet at, hoping that he could still make it. Because of this, he doesn't ask why you're entwining fingers with his while recalling memories of another. He doesn't mind — he thinks, as long as your eyes look at him so softly like that, he doesn't mind anything.

You think Renjun is beautiful like this — his everything an aesthetic you can endlessly write about. His eyes, though, his eyes look distant, wishful and longing. Renjun looks at you like he's letting you go and your heart drops, as gentle and as sweet as the poems he's written of you and the kiss he gifts your lips with.

"Just leave, darling," he whispers, "Stay a lovely memory to me."

It's just like any lovely excerpts you wrote, the last line with Renjun quite familiar and bittersweet. As if in any other circumstances, had he said only the second sentence and the second sentence only, it would have made your heart skip and your cheeks rise in temperature.

Real love is a little not like literature, though, at least the one you had with Renjun isn't. It wasn't almost being the same person. It wasn't sweet chaos. For both of you, it was doing what was the best for each other at the moment — whether it will make you cry, whether it will be painful before it becomes easy, knowing that it won't always be picture perfect but still wanting to give each other what you deserve. It was so much simpler than how he said it in his poetry, just as complicated but not any less romantic than that. Huang Renjun knew that you were aware of what was the best for the both of you — with neither of you ever wanting to force something to work and end up hating each other the more it fails, successfully trading the happy memories with more regrets, you walk away. Renjun doesn't follow just because love isn't always like the idea of it, but he does remember to never forget. You walk away, holding his love dear to your heart.

═ ∘❁∘ ═

Some people are just not meant to be alone, you think. Mark Lee comes just as quickly as Renjun was gone.

You don't even know why your paths crossed — Mark is literally the town's golden boy. He plays sports and aces exams and has a good set of friends; surely, he has more important matters to deal with, and definitely getting coffee at a dingy coffee shop isn't one of them. Not when it's three a.m in the morning, at least.

The shy barista at the counter sends you a gleeful smile as he hands out your order, one which you return with a curt nod and a quiet wish goodnight. He watches intently, subtle but focused — he really isn't one to gawk at people, but he couldn't help it. You held with you a smile that doesn't match the exhaustion in your eyes. You looked like hope. You looked like someone to look up and search for the stars even on a cloudy day. You seemed like a full-bloomed spring to trapped minds and sour hearts. You think Mark is a little too curious like Alice. Mark thinks you're even better than the Wonderland he'd always fall for.

He knows you saw him, he feels the hesitation in your stare. He knows you know him, he's shared a couple of classes with you and has done a couple of assignments as a team, so naturally, Mark couldn't help himself but ask, "Wanna sit down with me?"

You walk up to him with a nod, grateful. Mark tries to remain calm for the rest of the night — caffeine not helping — and he tries to look at his book instead of you, but he simply fails to. He tries his best to conceal himself, but he can't seem to tear away. He can't look at anywhere else when you're sitting there right in front of him — you know pain, you're familiar with sadness, have always been friends with enduring what you couldn't take; Mark sees in you a landscape that makes his heart hurt, a leafless tree he loves by itself but couldn't resist the urge to nurse back into life. Every now and then you'd look up from your cup and he would look away from this book that he's "reading" and your eyes would meet, and the both of you would shyly giggle and open up a small talk.

He walks you home that night, this one and the other and the many next times after that; it's just your thing by now, getting coffee at the most unreasonable hours of the day and staying up until it's too late for either of you to sleep because by this hour you should be blinking awake, walking down lifeless streets and past neon signs and holding hands. Mark would look at you with such awe and when he does, you have some things you forget, and your heart races. He's became a regular part of your day, a constant stranger. And then he becomes your friend. Then kind of more. You think, maybe, just maybe, he can become something more than more.

"I have many regrets in this life, you know? But I don't wanna be imprisoned by them," you shrug, too scared to look up at him and see that he wonders just what failures you've done. You continue your slow pace, both in walking and letting go of things much like words, "I don't want you to be one of them."

Mark stops walking, but he doesn't make you feel like you've said something wrong, so you finally glace up and meets his eyes; those that hold as much tiredness as yours, pressure, those that are glassy and brimming with tears. You smile, "And I like you, a lot, even if I'm in broken pieces. "

Mark looks at you and doesn't see majestic brokenness. Mark falls deeper in love that day, the next and all the others; you were deep like that. He fell and couldn't stop falling and he can't wait to fall even deeper into you, diving into unknown waters with blind fates and silent confessions of love. 

Your relationship was practical — literal and convenient, full of compromise but in a good way. You both were almost always on the same page of what should be done and how to do it, and if not, you two know that it's the best to give it a rest and understand. The balance, that kind of synchrony — it was something you both need, was something you liked about your dynamic; the fact that the partnership was there and you're certain of no taking more than you could give and no giving of less than you deserve. For once, you feel like you aren't pouring liquid into a leaking jar, and you feel content at the warmth he gives you with.

Renjun never made you feel this way; he didn't make enough accommodations for your relationship and you didn't voice out your expectations of him, you just wished he magically knew. Because he always knew that you would understand and other people wouldn't, he ended up giving you most of the weight of the relationship you both should've carried together. Mark was everything you hoped Renjun was; this is where the conflict begins.

When love is fueled by what the past wasn't able to give and what the present is willing to offer, you end up falling for the ideas and not the person. He makes up to what Renjun didn't, he filled to the brim what Renjun wasn't able to, he satiates what Renjun couldn't satisfy. You always saw the things Mark did as what you expected from someone else, so you weren't able to appreciate them as they are. You never truly saw him as Mark Lee who loves you, always as the boy who did everything the last didn't. 

Just as any relationship that revolves around somebody who's not involved, the conclusion was something you saw coming. It comes with tired eyes and worn out sighs, burned out hearts and linked fingers, sour hearts turning bitter. Mark doesn't look at you at all, and you keep your eyes set to the stars.

"The thing with me is I always long for consistency — for someone to understand me and stay understanding of me forever." He breathes out, voice raw. Did he scream? Was he screaming in those empty spaces you two gave each other? In any of those yells, did he call your name? You think you need to yell at the top of your lungs just to hear a sound louder than your heartbreak. He chuckles before continuing, "And I know that it doesn't exist and it never will. I knew that since childhood, but even if I continue disappointing myself, I never stopped hoping."

His shoulders drop — he feels that weak that time, even his knees buckle down and his eyes sting from holding back tears. "So baby, don't play with me," he whispers, more begging than warning and he falls apart, "I don't need a chase — I need someone to wait for the end with."

There's a whine at the back of your throat, but you settle with looking at his direction with an apologetic call of his name. He doesn't reply.

Mark never knew that he could fall in love with the same person all over again even during a break-up. You're just lovely like that — always dancing in your daydreams while you carry the world on your back. Mark feels his breath catch at his throat, he feels his palms go numb, he feels his heart going haywire and begging him so desperately because no, no, don't let go, please, don't let go! 

"There's a huge difference between how much I love you, and how much I can take." He finally spares you a glance, his everything so spent and lonely and blue in a way that isn't the calm of an ocean. "If you can't love me, then please let me go."

Mark knew your answer when you smiled.

────── ❁ ──────

The trip to the coffee shop was slow and empty and chilly, your hands trembling in need to get a hold of warm coffee and your feet taking little steps to such a familiar place. Honestly, you don't even know why you're letting yourself go there — why do you keep on doing this, torturing yourself? You don't even know — maybe you came here to reminisce the past, hold it close one last time before letting it go. Maybe you're here to remember how Mark was, how he was before he met you — oh, how you wish he didn't meet you. How badly you wish he never did, how you wish he never offered you a seat, his comfort, his love, a place in his heart. How you wish you didn't steal the sparkles in his eyes, and at that very moment, you feel the sudden urge to turn around. 

But you're already pushing the glass door wide open, causing the chimes to make that delightful sound.

"Good...!" the cheery voice fades, a concerned look adorning exhausted eyes, "...evening. The usual?"

You hum, nodding soullessly. The boy — Jeno, quietly works your order until he decides he's had enough of you rubbing your cheeks raw wiping down tears. He sighs and finishes your drink, hands it to you with a sympathizing smile, "Uh, you don't look fine, but are you okay?"

You suppress a giggle and a glare — why does he care? But you're lonely, too lonely, so lonely that you only manage a nod, "Rough time. I wish today didn't happen."

"Oh, but other people had the best day of their lives today. They wouldn't experience that day if today didn't happen," he smiles, flashes of child-like optimism and hopes hinting behind the sleepy glaze in his eyes. "You're on your way to yours."

And while on any other day, his reply would have made you annoyed, you find that he's right, and wish that he indeed is. You feel like it's the only right that didn't go wrong today.

Something warns you that you shouldn't be getting yourself caught in his strings and his ways, but you find yourself straying around his orbit. You were lonely. It was that bad — so bad that you found comfort in everything and everyone and Lee Jeno just happened to be convenient; It's just safe to be around each other, and that's what great friends are supposed to be, right? Jeno doesn't judge and he doesn't pry when you tell him not to push it, and he tries to understand without forcing you to make him if you're not ready. Lee Jeno had a soul like comfort and a smile like a piece of home. You insist that you had no interest in either, but with you so down and him the only thing pulling you up, you couldn't help but let him in.

You think some people are just like that — timeless souls stuck in mortal bodies, liquid gold; glowing and burning and bright and hopeful, stars. They're like stars — human stars.

He's always beside you, you see, Lee Jeno. He answers the dumbest questions and the deeper ones, he stays up listening to your heartaches and struggles. He knows a lot about you — never everything, but they're more than enough — and you know about him, too. It's a dangerous edge you two are leaning far too close to tipping over, and still, your gaze screams life and hope and energy, Jeno thinks he doesn't mind. He remembers earlier memories with him crumbling under your fingertips, tears in his eyes.

"Mark Lee... he's not replaceable and I'm not a replacement..." he shifts his eyes down, can't bring it to him to just look at you without breaking himself. He manages a heartwrenching smile, "but I think I'd rather be a replacement rather than a distraction, darling."

But you looked at him and cup his cheeks and kiss his forehead so mellowly, assuring him that he's neither. The storm in his heart stops and all his insecurities don't matter, and Jeno doesn't think he ever felt this good — so light, so dreamy. Your touch brings comfort, much like lullabies, and after years on insufferable insomnia, Jeno falls asleep.

Your gaze, too. If you continue looking at him that way, he doesn't think he'll mind anything.

"Thanks, Jen. For the coffee," you say with a smile, another night spent with him at the coffee shop. These days, you spend most of your free time waiting for his shift to end, watching him stutter and flush every time he realizes you've been watching him. There's a giddy feeling spreading inside your gut as you continue, "and for staying with me. That was so thoughtful of you — how much lovelier can you be?"

He laughs, shaking his head. He sighs, "Stop it. You're giving me hope."

Your heart skips a beat.

"Oh, but I want to," you quickly roll your eyes, an attempt to faux cool control, your expression immediately shifting to something welcoming and soft just enough that his chest tightens. Jeno feels kind of odd — a good kind of odd, a welcomed sensation. You beam up at him with glassy eyes. Jeno shifts his to his shoelaces.

"Don't do that."

"Jen..."

"I love you," he confesses, shallow breaths coming in quick intervals. The floor seems to sway under his feet and the skies feel like they're swirls of dripping liquid, and it's hard to even breathe, let alone swallow the bitterness of his words, "But I would rather have you not say it back than hear you not mean it."

"I'm... I— Jen," you gasp out, fast to hold his hands to try to keep him down. For a reason or two, you feel like crying. Jeno feels lost. "I'm falling."

But you're not, and you don't know why you said it, but there's a galaxy in his eyes and the universe so beautifully laid down in his mind and he's pulling you close, tears in his eyes, this boy. Lee Jeno who's so in love with you, Lee Jeno who's hopelessly whipped, Lee Jeno — your sweet, sweet boy. You look up to him and shakily whispers, "Please catch me."

Jeno looks at the luminaries and wonders what it would feel like if one day he looks into the very same orbs only to find that the stars have fallen.

The wind blows gently, the coldness of the place prickling his skin, but Jeno doesn't think it's what caused the flush to rise on his cheeks. He stutters, curses a little, says again those little words and dives for a kiss — you feel like it's the best night ever; no nightmare, just pure bliss. 

You blindly walk the path inside your house, dropping your belongings on either of your sides. You try to keep your knees from buckling as you bring yourself to your bathroom, stripping off your clothes. You lean your back to the cold tile walls of your shower, feeling the rush of water that is supposed to drown your thoughts not doing anything to keep them at bay. What have I done?

Loving Jeno is easy, though, far too easy if you may. He's so full of love and in need of affection but never asks for them, and you're more than glad to give all of that to him without words needed. The days with him have been light-hearted, felt deeply nonetheless. In this little world, it's you and him, him and you, no one else. Right? Is that right? Do you promise?

Jeno knocks at your home one day, sullen and lethargic. He spreads his arms out for a hug, one you throw yourself into without hesitation. He leans into the touch, leaning down to burry his head on the crook of your neck, "Thank you, baby."

Your brows draw closer, "For what?"

"You were never mine, but you were always lonely." He suddenly says, He suddenly says, voice fading weak and unstable. There's warm tears dampening your shoulder, and he shakes ever so slightly that you panic and try to pull away, but he doesn't let you. Instead, he continues, "In my twisted logic, I made myself believe that it's the same."

"What are you saying, Jen?" You laugh, a bit confused and a lot afraid. "I love you."

"No, please, don't say that," his reply baffles you. When he lets you go, Jeno has a certain saddened look in his eyes, and it feels so familiar that you should be numb to it by now. You're not, though, and so you pretend to not know where this all would lead. He pulls you in again and hugs you tighter, "Let me tell you that I love you without you answering back, please."

The boy breathes out shakily, "I want us to have at least one memory that isn't a lie."

And then Lee Jeno says goodbye.

────── ❁ ──────

Park Jisung is the clumsy florist who keeps breaking vases in the flower shop his cousin owns, just several blocks away from the kindergarten both your nephews attended. You meet him one too many times you had to pick the little boy up, and talked to him finally one fine Tuesday when you decided flowers would be nice, out of random. You become friends from then on. 

This thing you have with Jisung is something lovely, child-like, and carefree. It doesn't put any pressure on you — there are expectations, but they're all voiced out and kept healthy. You're friends — great friends, not best friends — whose dynamic is not necessarily convenient. It's safe to say that some people think you have a complicated relationship.

You think, not really. Not to the two of you, at least — Jisung just knows when you're down and in need to be left alone or cuddled, while you know when he needs to cry or if he's pushing himself to his limits. He knows what flower you hold most dear, your treasured scent, your favorite shade of yellow. You know his most loved tracks, the beat he looks the happiest humming to, the color of his dreams. It's much more simple than that — it's just that you two have fun, even with your differences, and when you're together, everything else just fades away.

You just... don't like being alone. Jisung doesn't like not having company — well, there are indeed people he doesn't want to be accompanied by, but he doesn't like being the only one walking alone in crowds of many. He doesn't make your heart skip, not really, instead it's just a warm feeling in your chest, much like home. He doesn't make you nervous — not at all, but he does make you feel safe. Comforted, even. It's the type of love you've always yearned for, the only kind of love he's comfortable with.

"You dance?" Your eyes widen in surprise, dropping your book on the table. Then you smile, "Oh? Aren't you full of surprises?" 

"Mhm, you'll see." He says with embarrassment hinting his voice, but then he stops arranging the flowers and looks at where you're sitting. "You? Aren't you full of surprises, too?"

You pick up your book, a sudden low, shrugging. "It won't be a surprise if I say now, wouldn't it?"

He just shakes his head, tries to lift the vase to the other side and accidentally knocks another one down. You laugh at him, curious at how much control he has over his body that he must be able to dance so fluidly, hit the beat like it's what he's born for, and yet he can't seem to hold a vase and not break it. Jisung giggles, taking it lightly. You wish he didn't. 

The days with Jisung are filled with your favorite bouquets and post-it notes. Each and every day, the words written inside changes from 'You did well', until it develops to 'I hope you smiled today,' 'I wish something good happened today,' and 'You're really, really pretty.' He'd take you to little uphills, asks you to teach him how to make floral crowns from wildflowers, dance with you barefoot under bright daylight. A little summer, a certain person, your most dreaded feeling of having someone mean so much that you let flowers bloom in your chest until it's so hard to breathe and you cough them up.

"My parents asked me to study dance in another country," he mumbles one day, a shaky breath leaving his lips, "Please give me a reason not to go."

"Chase your drive, Sungie," you whisper back. You lean your head further to his chest, safe and warm and fading, "I love you, so choose your dreams over me."

There's the slightest hint of betrayal in his voice, a tinge of rejection in his eyes, "If you love me, why would you make me choose?"

If you love me, why can't you choose me? You selfishly ask, the kid in you whining at the thought of being left alone. The greedy part of you begs to ask him to stay, the needy part of you wants to hug him until he's so full of you that he forgets even the bare thought of wanting anything else. The silent voice inside you, the one that learned and keeps learning, the one that could've saved you so many times if you listened to it, sighs sadly. Don't risk anyone's future for your present, it seems to say.

"Because I love myself too," you look directly to his eyes, cupping his cheeks in between your palms, "and we need to put ourselves before anybody else."

And yet again, you're starstruck by the almost golden swirls in his irises, a peek of his soul. You think his eyes are beautiful — astounding, art worthy, a sight to never get tired of. He thinks they're only beautiful because he's looking at you.

This thing with Jisung isn't something you should've let go. You shouldn't have let him go but you weren't ready and the last thing you wanted was to hurt someone who held you so close beautifully. He didn't mean to, though — it was just too hard not to go overboard, and the next thing he knew, he was in love. He didn't mean to, so he walks you home the last night, hand in hand with a certain something hidden underneath his mellow smile. Jisung stands in front of you, waiting for you to open your gates, but you don't move. You stay basking in the tenderness of his gaze.

You think the little problem is that he's even more breathtaking up close and in silence, when the night feels so dead that it thrives — you feel like if you weren't so broken, if you don't keep on seeing another person when you look at him in the eyes, if you let go of the past, Jisung would be everything your heart desired. It just so happened that you two are both too infinite for forever, too broken to fix anything for the latter. Jisung was too charming — his smile was one that doesn't ask for attention but still steals it, never content with just taking your breath away so he takes with him your mind and soul.

You can't handle losing any more of yourself, though, so you smile, "Thank you for waiting."

"I have always been waiting for you," he grins shyly. You make a mental note to remember him like this — dyed locks a mess on top of his head and glasses messily perched on his nose bridge, tall and too pretty to be real, eyes so loving and expressive. There's an obvious sorrow in his voice, "Without fail, consistently, inevitably, forevermore."

You smile, standing on your tiptoes to press a kiss on his cheeks, "Good night, Jisung."

The last note comes in between the pages of your notebook, a pretty pastel purple accompanied by pressed wildflowers. There, in his messy letters and colorful ink, reads a confession:

Maybe I couldn't stop myself from falling because it felt like flying with you.

You shake your head, sigh reading 'I told you not to do that'. Still, you feel a tug at your chest, a link between the two of you in the sense that you seem to be moving in synchrony with these words — Park Jisung is your last love, you swear. You shift your eyes, tired of the same chain all over again, flipping the note to read the words behind them. 

When you find the right love at the wrong time, what will you do to make it work? 

You sigh to yourself as you read the question, tracing the pristine paper with your pen, and finally, finally you smile;

Let it go. Set it free, because the greatest love of all is the one that lets you grow.

You tilt your head up, holding back the tears that threaten to spill from your eyes. 

────── ❁ ──────

Zhong Chenle invades your life like a hurricane of mixed emotions, a little like three months just in time when you finally decided you've had enough heartbreaks. You meet him from one of your friends, Qian Kun, and literally had to stop and wonder how in the world he managed to find this thing — you can't help it, alright? Chenle just stood silent and proud, clad in leather and rumors and reputations and reeking of expensive. He comes in the scene like thoughts as turbulent as unwanted flashbacks and as easily as finding trouble looking for the right answer when you're in a rush.

Quickly as he entered your life, he became a friend; you're too familiar with this scene, but you've had enough. You can't take any more. You've spent most of your life haunted by sugar smiles and breathy laughs and in exchange, had yourself break everything you wanted to keep intact. It doesn't matter that he's not at all what he's perceived to be, it doesn't matter that he makes your breath hitch. You don't even care what you're going against with, if it's fate or heavenly beings or the world — no more. You can't anymore.

The world is the ocean and the ocean is a God — people are mere sailors who think they're stronger than the tides, but they're not; once the waters have made their decision to kill you, there's no reason you should fear the phenomenons trying to do you harm. It seems like it's made that plan, that thing you hoped so much you wouldn't do. Chenle knows so he smiles at you brightly, "Don't you dare run away from what you're feeling."

"Else what, you gonna run after me?" You bite back just for the sake of it, laughter bubbling from your throat, "Gonna go chase me down?"

He shrugs, taking a challenge and a risk, "You better not regret."

"Absolutely fucking not." Kun hisses after you've told him what happened, months after you've started dating and you're tired of hiding it already. Your friends already tease you about getting together, anyway, so why should you even hide? Apparently, this. The profanities leaving his mouth should worry you, really, but it doesn't; not as much as his disagreement. Still, you couldn't even bother to ask him why because you see it in his eyes — you know him that much, you're familiar with that look — "You're not in love with Chenle, please, we both know this."

"I am in love with him!" You say, hurt. The look in his eyes softens, but the pain of his word doesn't, neither does his determination, "Kun, please. I didn't tell you just so you could lecture me, I told you because you're my friend! I do love him!"

"Are you, really? In love with him, you say? Completely?" Your eyes shift to the side after his statement, the lack of sarcasm and warmth in his tone both bothering you. You want to cry. When you look at Kun, you find he feels just as much. "You're not in love with him in the way he deserves."

There's a dry chuckle leaving your lips as you grab your bag, standing up with a tear slowly rolling down in your cheek. More than devastation, there's a certain withering look in your eyes. Kun tries to apologize, but you're already moving away from him. The betrayal in your voice is impossible to ignore and forget, "How dare you make accusations about how I'm feeling?"

Falling in love with Chenle wasn't in the plan; in fact, you hardly even had any plans to begin with. As another fact, the only plan was to not fall in love with anyone anymore. Plans are ever-changing things, you'd always counter, they depend on the situation. When Chenle came in your life, you figure there happened to be another shift — something significant had changed, a good change.

Maybe it is why you didn't even take Kun seriously. You've always hoped that all those lows would lead to this point, the part where there's content spreading on your chest, a feeling just as bright as the luminescent blanket of embedded diamonds and rubies, a sky full of stars. By your side, the boy looks at you with eyes shining just as much; Zhong Chenle, badly misunderstood, so truly loved. You couldn't help but pull him in a kiss — giggly and messy, chaste and ever so delicate. 

You think you could spend lifetimes just staring at him. You swore on it, really, to not be in love with him. More than anybody else, you hoped to fate that you'll never fall in love again. It's just that this person — Zhong Chenle, he has a tendency to be very addicting, and oh, how easily addicted you are. His kiss a lovely burn against your lips, his words a heavenly whisper to your ear, his existence a delightful surprise. You find it inevitable to fall because of the many similar nights before this, just weeks after you two met. Those days where you two were laughing way too hard for midnight and your heart blossomed with happiness it hasn't felt for long. It's the sweetest kind of doom.

It's doom, nonetheless. 

"With whom was your first relationship with?" Chenle suddenly asks, no hint of jealousy in his eyes, but there is, aside from pure curiosity, something else — lost, baffled, seeking an explanation for something he doesn't even think he should know. "I mean, you're mine. You're my first love, but I know I'm not yours, and I'm curious. "

"You don't even know him, Lele." You laugh, trying to hide your hesitation. The boy insists, says that he just needs a name. You roll your eyes affectionately, "Huang Renjun. He's a great guy, but timing kinda messed up."

Chenle hums appreciatively, but he stops trying to find constellations and making up shapes of his own; instead, he dives in a pool thoughts deeper than the dark. He thinks of what he doesn't know if he believes in, but he keeps his eyes up at the stars and hopes to God that his life wasn't such a movie; he stays quiet.

"Who's Jaemin, then?" The question comes, harmless but shocking nonetheless. Chenle breaks his stare from the dull-starred sky and looks at you with a smile brighter than daylight. His question makes your gut twist. "Jaemin who danced with you under the rain... Jaemin who made your day with corny jokes, with late-night talks, with coffee, with notes."

You don't reply, so he ponders some more. He thinks about walking the streets holding hands, he thinks of cheek kisses. He thinks of waking up tomorrow and doing all of that with you. He looks forward to a couple of years — maybe you'll move in together, maybe you'll share a place and clothes and everything. He thinks of counting down the memories, having lived most of his life satisfied. Chenle thinks of doing it all with you; someone who takes tragedies and turns them into masterpieces. Someone who sings sad songs with a saccharine smile.

"Jaemin with a reputation, known for all the wrong reasons..." his eyes cast down, dull and slowly piecing everything together, "Just like me."

He thinks of a vow, a promise — to the stars, till dawn do us part. He thinks of how near the sun is from rising, and he thinks of silhouette, of being hidden behind one. You don't answer until then, so he just takes it as your reply.

"You don't have to. I already know," he smiles, fingers entwining with yours. "Maybe I just hoped that I didn't have to find out from Kun."

Chenle is innocent, kind of naive. He wears his heart on his sleeves and gifts its pieces to anyone who dares to get to know him. He loves a lot — his friends, his family, stars. A person who grieves the loss of midnight too, when the stars start to fade; you. Because of that, he could forgive anything you did and would do.

It's one of his many ways of love, you see, this thing you have going on. Chenle's just like that — you never know just how much more he can give before he runs out; there's just so much of him and it's difficult to put it into words. He's shown you how he treasures relationships, how he adores everything around him in each and every time a different way and kind. He's shown you so much, all the ways he displays his affection with, this little magic trick. That's not all of it, though, and a little part of you sinks because of the fact that a lifetime will not be sufficient enough for you to know just what this love is, completely, because every passing moment, the boy falls for something; each fondness different from the lasts.

Chenle just loves like that; so much that he doesn't mind being loved for carrying pieces of another person — being adored simply because he made you remember what you didn't want to forget. He thinks, if he doesn't think it matters, it wouldn't; he prays that if he doesn't bring it up, you'd forget. He's loved you for so long but you know so little of his kind of love; ever so pure and limitless, impossible to define and dictate. 

When he holds your hands, though, you feel like it's enough — it's enough to have known slightly more than what you think you should.

"You give too much," are the only words that you were able to form. He looks at you as if to ask if you think so, and you feel the time stop for a bit when he leans his head on your shoulders, his dark locks tickling your skin. You laugh, humorless and sentimental, "Isn't it about time you'd learn to love within limits?"

"You're brilliant, you know?" He mumbles, albeit sleepily. "Kind of infinite. There are no restrictions in the love you deserve."

Something about brilliant just hits so different from beautiful — something so damning and sweet and you feel it again; just how much love you have in you, how much of it you are willing to give. Maybe boundaries really aren't your thing, maybe its the reason why you let Chenle adore you beyond what you know you can take, why you allowed him to give more than he should've given. Maybe it's why you poured affection after affection without conditions — maybe that's why you were selfish enough to love shadows. Maybe it's as most people say — you tend to burn too bright, to share too much of yourself, and not everybody can handle that. You're a bit too much for others. Maybe it's why you find yourself sitting down, pen roughly scribbling on paper.

Somewhere, there's a soul aching for your love... but no matter how much we try, we know it's not here, with me.

────── ❁ ──────

Kun doesn't knock at your door until a few weeks later, and whether it was him giving you space or him not being able to leave Chenle alone, you think of it as a blessing in disguise. It wasn't even after a week or two that you found it in you to get your life together — fake it till you make it, clean up your home, clean up your mess. You greet him with a smile on your face, tears prickling your eyes, "Come in."

Kun doesn't even say anything, he just puts the snacks he bought somewhere and crashes the sofa. He turns off the television, eyes the clearly was-messy place, and huffs at you, "It's just me. You don't have to play cool with me when you're feeling so broken."

"You're acting so much like Kim Dongyoung." You whisper just enough that he could hear before making your way to him and sobbing in his arms. Kun lets you stay like that, his hands threading your hair and affectionately patting your back, a soft 'I told you you're not ready yet' that's less scolding than it is loving. You stop crying then, just miserable sobs and sniffles, and he stands up to get you a cup of water. You look at him.

 "Thank you, Kun."

Suddenly, his not amused expression is back. He moves away a little, placing a strict space in between the two of you, and then directly looks into your eyes, "Were you ever gonna tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"Were you ever gonna tell me, or was I just supposed to learn about it after you've left?"'

"Kun," you breathe deeply, "I need to."

"For who?" He asks, hoping that amongst the reasons read your name. Are you finally choosing yourself? Is it still because of other people? He wants to ask, but his voice keeps failing him and all he can whisper is words about how he's proud of you, how much you've endured, how badly he wishes to ease the pain. Kun doesn't look at you with disappointment, with hurt; he looks at you with pure utter understanding, and you find it in you, a reason to smile.

────── ❁ ──────

You can't help but reminisce things as you walk from your home to the train station, neither can you when you asked the person in charge for which train will get you out of the place the quickest. You didn't really have plans, you never did, and perhaps that's where everything starts to go wrong; you just forget things, or at least, you try to suppress them. You never tried to solve anything.

This town knew too much — there are memories of Renjun on the trail from here to the benches, flashes of Donghyuck's sly grin meeting your gaze in the reflection of the glass whenever you look at the vending machines. You feel like you've walked every street in here, hand in hand with Mark, like you've danced under all these blinking lights with Jisung, like you've been to everywhere with Chenle. There is so much to remember, and this place can't hold them all and it breaks your heart so much, knowing that many things are meant to be memories, but not all memories should be remembered. You close your eyes in silent hopes that no matter how painful, you never forget one second.

It was impossible, surely, but you think that the thought of being able to recall them completely will be enough to keep you company. Even until now, you don't really want to be alone — some people are just not meant to be by themselves, and sometimes those people aren't really good at settling down either — being one of them, you leap from one crumbling bridge to another, hoping to never feel the pain of a great fall. There was never an end where you didn't. 

Waiting for the train to board, you look back to a certain place in time. The one where you think everything began.

Your first love is something you remember vividly. It came in the form of childhood crushes, wildflowers, and ruined playgrounds. It's a coincidental meeting; you were running away from your house, tired of the yelling and the crashing and the constant fear in your little heart, while he was sneaking away from his house to play more because he's a 'rebel'. Your first heartbreak takes some years forward, years just a little far from now even if it feels like it's been forever standing here, waiting for an uncertain return.

Until now, you think that it was that night under a rusty slide and above dry leaves when your life started to change.

You meet again with Na Jaemin just minutes before your train arrives, a brief eye-contact and a skip of heart and it doesn't take so much for you to know; those eyes, that smile, the red string sitting too tightly on his wrist. You remember what promise that meant — you know that, right? The thing they say about red strings, how they connect people? — and what childish hope that strand held — if we wear this, we would always find our way to each other, because we have a red string connecting us now! You remember, you do, really — of course, you do; how you could you ever forget him? Surely, maybe he's grown a lot, and everything about him has changed, he even dyed his soft hair blue. You're certain, though, you knew that it's him — maybe the red string worked. Maybe it's the butterfly effect and the heartbreaks your heart and several others nursed. Maybe it's the look in his eyes that remained soft and sweet and honest.

You miss your train, but you can't help but feel like you're just in time.

"Jae—" you choke, eyes wide and shocked, "Jaemin!"

────── ❁ ──────

Na Jaemin meets you again on a busy train station, three years ago after he just came back in town for a visit. He remembers the punch in his gut at the sight of your face, the red string delicately wrapped on your wrist, far too small but still so beautiful. He remembers the sullen look on your face, the realization dawning on him that you're late for your class and he chuckles; you never really made it in time for school, even as a child. The rain pours and he has to fiddle his bag for his umbrella, opens it so that he could let you in. When he takes a step closer though, you were talking to another boy, and Jaemin thinks he's the one a little late.

He comes across you a lot of times next to that, too, but never when you're alone. He thinks, his timing is a mildly off as well. Every time he tries to come and talk to you — when you were sitting alone in the middle of a busy restaurant, inside the coffee shop, in front of his niece's kindergarten — there was always somebody else. It reminds him of back then, one of your conflicts as you started to grow up and apart; the many times you needed each other and the other person is too caught up needing someone else. Jaemin thinks that the beat you both are dancing to is a little too delayed.

Jaemin remembers meeting a boy just as blue as him, a face a little familiar, smiling longingly at the two dancing under the moon. He remembers eyes as regretful as his, he remembers a smile, "They look so happy, don't they?"

None of that matters, though, not when he's pulling you into a hug and dragging you to a rooftop, not when you're several floors off the ground and beside you is Na Jaemin, sitting side by side, with eyes that take you back to the past and makes you hope for an unbroken present.

When you two stand under the bright sky and you stare at him instead of gushing about flying, Jaemin realizes just how drastically different this present is. If the look in your eyes says anything, he's certain that you feel the same.

You have just always been waiting for this moment, you know? And you missed your train, but you were just in time to meet Jaemin, and the rush of affection cleared all the lines you had to cross and everything was light and filled with teary laughter before right now. You've had it planned, the both of you, multiple scenarios where you two could meet again — none of them are this way. It's awkward and tense and the other feels so far away; this wasn't how things were supposed to go.

Jaemin could leave. He should leave, he figures, thinking that it's always been what he's best at. It's not working, anyway; maybe it was him being gone and you going through so much, maybe it's life knocking some sense in the both of you, but none of that matters — it's not working. It's just like this, relationships — two people could start at the same point and still go separate ways. It's not meant to be. He could leave, forget, maybe he'd find enough courage that he marks this chapter closed and finally, finally stop thinking of childhood feelings and even the grown-up ones. He could find a new beginning in this chapter closed.

That's the way it goes, anyway, right? Some ends feel like new starting points. Jaemin could drop it here. He could make it easier for himself, he'd be able to say this isn't working and he'd be back to his normal self; the one that looks at you and looks for you in a way that he did before falling in love. He could be young and free, away from untold reasons and unsaid apologies and undelivered feelings. He could make it easier for himself.

But to hell with ease, he didn’t want to.

"Remember, back then, we would always sneak out to play in the rain?" Jaemin is the first to break the silence, "And we look at flowers... you used to cry at everything back then!"

You flick his arm at that, and he sits on the floor next to the railing because he couldn't hold himself up anymore, laughing. Even until now, this still feels like a very vivid dream. You spend the night trying to believe that this is reality — Jaemin does the same.

Fate has a tendency to bring people apart and put them back together again, so you can't really help it that Jaemin was months and weeks away from leaving the town again. There was a point where you cursed time — you just found him, and now, why is he being taken away from you? There was a time where Jaemin thought you weren't meant to be — if you are, then why do you keep on being forced apart?

He thinks he really should stop thinking this way. It's just something really odd, this love stuff, because it's never really just one thing but rather a couple of many nothings to make up an entirely different, supposedly magical occurrence. Love is never just love — it's oftentimes euphoria with even the slightest glimpse of devastation. Jaemin doesn't think he understands why the both of you try so hard to make it easy — no matter how difficult, he knows it's worth it, knows that he'll fight for it.

Jaemin spends his last day in this place smiling, cupping your cheeks as he stands in the middle of a busy train station yet again, this time, with you in his reach. The skies are dark but his smile is bright, and it burns brighter when you flush after asking him why he's staring at you so hard. The boy cooes, "Perfect should try to be you."

"If perfect was me, perfect would be a mess," you quickly counter even through you being too flustered. In your absolute anxiety, you think that everyone is looking and judging you. With the way Jaemin is staring at you, you don't think you'd mind even if they whisper things so mean.

"A lovable mess," he raspily whispers, sincerity in his gaze and honesty in his words. Jaemin smiles, "I can't make this up. I fall for you several times a day, repeatedly."

Jaemin lets go of your face and dips in to kiss your forehead, and then he giddily messes your hair. You can't even bring it in you to get mad — you have several minutes and you have so much to say and the time is too little, your words are so limited. Jaemin asks for your hands and leaves a red string, identical to the ones you gave each other as children but bigger and adorned with the tiniest butterfly charm. You look at him, confused, "What's this?"

"A farewell gift, and something I'll definitely come back for," he flicks your forehead as if to say it's so obvious, and you can't help but feel like time is running out all over again. You breathe, unsteady and ragged, a desperate call of his name, "Na Jaemin?"

He doesn't answer, but he wipes the tears streaming down your face and he hums.

"I'm so happy that the ending is me and you." You finally confess, taking him aback. You smile, sweet and cruelly beautiful, brutally emotional, and if there were no children around and Jaemin was a tad bit more shameless, he would pull you into a deep kiss. He couldn't, though, so he just gapes and stares and listens.

"I'm so happy that it's back to you."

As the train boards, you find yourself realizing how tough the world gets — the lovely, sinking feeling lingering in your chest as you recall the highs and the lows of life and fate.

You've had far too many great loves in your life, so much that using the term would probably not sound special anymore to other people — but they're different, each one of them, the way they loved distinct at least — and this one, just this one, Na Jaemin, by far, is the greatest.

The end is sweet and lovely, if a bit sour and bitter. The end is where you hopefully find yourself.

────── ❁ ──────

"Mom and dad keeps on fighting. " your nephew murmurs under his breath, one sunny Friday spent walking on streets that are cooling down, on the way to what must be the happiest place on Earth for a kid. "Do you think they don't love each other anymore?"

You nervously scratch your nape, thinking of easy ways to reply to the question. You think of your childhood, how you spent most of it dreaming of love. How until today, the thought of it still haunts you. You just shrug, "People just have some bad days, but look, they're still together, right?" he nods, and you feel a blossom of proudness in your chest, "They love each other, and that's why they had you."

The kid suddenly frowns, "Why do people get together, then?"

You halt your steps before continuing, on the verge of asking why he asked that question before you realize that it's your nephew, anyway. He loves holding mature conversations even if he doesn't understand anything, he likes asking away and being taken seriously, like an adult. You chuckle, "Uhm, because people make each other happy!"

"Why don't you have someone, then?" You don't know how to answer his question, and neither did you expect it. He looks too interested to be brushed off. "You said people make other people happy!"

"Hm, well, I do have someone," you think of sugar smiles and giggly kisses as you say those words. There's a comforted exhale leaving your lips as you look down on the kid, "But, he's not the only reason I'm happy... I'm happy with myself, without him."

"Do you not love him, then? Because you're happy without him?"

"I love him, I do, a lot! We went through a lot to find each other again," you smile kindly, patient. "But it's a different kind of love, just like how it is a different kind of happy with him."

His lips jut out, wondering about things not so completely disconnected from his first questions. He then sighs as if he's carrying the weight of the world, "If you had to find each other again, it means one of you left. Why did one of you leave if you love each other, then?"

Why?

"Well, you see, maybe..." there's no answer pouring from your lips, but emotions threaten to spill from your eyes and then down your cheeks. The child won't understand your tears, though, so you think of familiar faces and the one you entwined your fingers with, like home. You keep your head held high. "Maybe it's so that we could find each other again in a time where we would be better versions of ourselves."

It's not enough to sate his curious mind. "But if he's almost always never here, how are you supposed to know if he's the love you're supposed to have, then?"

"The love I'm meant to find has always been here, within me," you say genuinely, and the child, ever so confused but curious, remains silent to understand. You shake your head a bit, "but with him, this love grows bigger and bigger, and it helps us cross any kind of distance between us."

Finally satisfied, he stops asking questions at the sight of his most favorite place, muttering incomprehensible gibberish as he tugs you closer to the entrance. Then you think of how happy you are to be standing under this sky, above this ground — you think of the butterfly effect, all the little moments and major events, and everything that passed and will forever remain remembered. You think of all that lead you to this.

You look at the reflection of yourself from the glass walls of the candy shop, and you couldn't help a smile. The look in your eyes screams dreamy as you push open the door. This is it — you're on the way to loving yourself. 

Welcome home.

[ku-ro-kai]

Lust at first bite

This was inspired by Trevor and sypha from the series Castlevania- personality wise so on

This is a one-shot★

Warning;fluff and angst,sexual tension, blood drinking, heat mentioned,missionary, squirting, praise kink, manipulation,aphrodisiacs, blood, multiple orgasm

He's been sneaking and stealing looks for too long, he's grown tired of it despite his small attempts at gifts he's been getting the nyphms to deliver or trying dispatch a plan in starting a conversation with you without being killed.

To his castle before the huntresses and witches hunt him down, touya was from a Royal bloodline of vampires. He's been going out every sunset in looks for his favorite huntress

She wasn’t like the other huntress’s in his eyes.

He had come to her in the middle of the night,he was looking for fresh virgin blood,he found you out on a night stroll.

He recognized you from flyers that he would come across when wondering in abandoned villages. He came to the conclusion you weren’t no ordinary boring huntress.

You were different,unique is what he would say, your family tree was dangerous to other creatures,coming from witches and huntsman.

(A month ago)

His father warned him about your family,beware of them, don’t never go by the (L/N) markings in the woods,every creature thought your family tree was killed off.

You were out getting fresh air,you couldn’t stand being in rooms with other huntresses and huntsmen, they envied your family,despite their hate for you,there was no escaping the headmasters.your family payed their debt years ago,why were they still inviting you to these silly meetings.

You heard a low groan from behind you,a annoyed sigh left your lips”At this time,show your face”.

Dabi thought you were some stuck up whore at first, “what if I don’t want too?”Gonna skin me and turn me into boots”

You turned around to face the unknown man ,he looked like a victim of fire,ebony hair that was spiked from front to back, blue eyes that sparkled like the ocean on a full moon,he was dressed down to toe in leather ,only a upside cross hanging from his neck,fingers covered in all different metallic silver rings, ones with diamonds,rubies and sapphires.

“Who exactly are you and how’d you get passed the barrier ?”

“You’re barrier is a piece of shit ,sorry darling I just don’t state my name to any stranger."

"It's like that with you vampires? Stuck up"

"Feisty, you huntsman look down on the rest of the world and expect everyone to get on their knees and praise you"

"You monsters have curses put on y'all,so you take your anger out on the huntresses and huntsman,since we hunt you down"

Dabi rubbed his chin, you weren't wrong,if anything he would do anything to take this curse off and have a normal body.

"You're a very stubborn human"

"You're one to talk"

A small chuckle came out, dabi was a man of many lies but he couldn't lie that you weren't an interesting huntress, maybe his favorite out of the ones he met in his life.

"I'll spare your life this time darling but if we come across again, there will be no mercy"

You never met a vampire like him before, he's cocky and comes with too much pride, A total prick.

"Same to you, just keep in mind that sneaking up to your prey comes with being completely silent"

You two parted ways that night and now he hasn't been able to get you off his mind

(Present)

He took you're words to heart, the sunset were his time to go see you.

Quietly hiding in the shadows, you were always out taking a stroll, did you not receive a good capture?

The headmasters have been keeping you stored away from missions,you were completely drowned out from all the drinks you spent at the tavern,only thing in that god forsaken castle was old people and moldy fruits.

You could proceed with skinning this annoyance of a vampire and receiving money

“Do you have nothing to do besides stalk me “

Dabi never understood how you could figure out how he was there,he was the best when it came to sneaking in the shadows,or so he thought.

“Your always walking around this area,I figured I’ll stop by”.

“You’ll be foolish to think I’ll believe that lie”

“Look my name is touya todoroki,first son to the King vampire Enji todoroki but refer to me as dabi for now “

That name was catching like wildfire when you were younger,it was a story of a little vampire boy playing by himself in the mountains near a peasant village ,his father made him go up there if he couldn’t make a flame change it’s color to blue.The boy was too careless with the way he would shoot his fires into trees ,as in result,he struck a branch, that caught half the village on fire ending with getting stuck under a large burning oak tree.Some say he hunted the woods looking in revenge for his father,others say he was in search of better body.

“I’m (name),how long have you’ve been living on your own since the forest fire “

“ for 210 years, it took months for my body to get used to staples"

You had guilt in your eyes,he always saw this in his victim's face when he would suck them dry,the stares he got from their cold,decaying corpse. He loved that look

"Does it hurt?"

"What do you think" he snapped.

"Hey no need to get rude" you looked at the full moon, maybe this prick of a vampire could help you with a drink "dabi wanna go out for a drink"

He looked you dead in the eye "with you? No thanks, trying to finesse me out of my money, I knew you huntresses weren't always good out if the bunch"

"I guess we are both liars than, well I'll just take my leave, if you wanna suck my blood I'll be at the blue soul lake"

You walked away into the forest

"Why that specific area- it's hunted by witches"

"Not the big bad vampire being scared of witches"

"Who the hell said I was scared, if anything I'm just concerned why that cursed part of the forest"

"That cursed place is my home"

Blue soul lake was wretched area, swarming with witches and witchcraft. The only thing is that place is good for is the glowing lake that only shines on a full moon.

"My father told about that place, used to be ritual when witches would bring kids, kill them, sacrifice them to whatever God you nut jobs believed in and kept the skulls and eyes for gross potions. What do y'all do now, pretend to be gypsies"

You chuckled at him "no we don't do anything out of that kind, I just live there because I love the way the lake shines at night and because I grew up there"

Dabi didn't understand why you would just invite a vampire to your house as if it's the normal, he could care less,long as he can be near you, you made him feel whole again, maybe because he hasn't gotten a load off in awhile, where you good at massages?, he could make you queen, give you children and regain his body back with your weird passed down powers

He wasn't thinking right, make you queen? Breed you? Spend the rest of eternity with you? He surely wasn't in love with some thorn in the side huntress,that's below him.

"Dabi why do wear the rings and what's with the silly name"

He got embarrassed, hiding his face “it’s not silly “

"It’s a little silly"

He turned back facing you,you’re warm smile brought him comfort

“The rings are from my mother, she gave all my siblings rings”

“Ah you royals always have the easy life ahead”

“You could say that , I’ll probably still have my body back if it weren’t for my father”

“I guess the stories were right”

“I hate him , I can’t stand to even look myself in the mirror when I remember I used to look like him”

Awkward silence was there for a while

“I could've easily snapped your neck when we first met"

"Why didn't you do it"

"You intrigued me"

"Not me catching your interest -what now you want me to be your queen"

"If if weren't for your cocky mouth,you could be heir to the throne of my queen"

"you like me?!"

"I'll kill where you stand"

You covered your smile with your cape.

"you didn't say no"

Dabi turned away to hide his blushing, you were a silly little thing with the ability to have him head over heels in love with you. You were just food to him now he has to deal with red swallowing his face and this shaking feelings in his chest.

You two reached your home-it wasn't too bad, A little snags and there, he could probably fix it with a little magic, too his disappointment you didn't have nothing crazy going on- it's cozy and warm

He picks up a picture "nice place you got here darling-a little sad there isn't hearts in jars and a shit load of strange plants"

"Are all vampires like this? Assuming all witch descent are into witchcraft"

"Must be the huntsman genes"

Dabi put the picture in his suit pocket, he continued walking around your house coming across from a family tree of pictures

"Dabi what's it like living like a vampire?”

“It’s quite fun,scaring frisky young ones comes with the job,sucking blood all night long is the dream,don’t have to worry about dying since I can live for centuries also the garlic shit is a myth"

You carry a bottle of holy water out "how mad would you be if I sprayed this on you"

"Try me"

After running, what seemed about an hour, you came to a stop leaving you panting on top of the stairs"you sly bastard" your clothes were tattered and scattered all around your house

Dabi covered a burned mark of you splashing him in holy water " just wanted to mark you as mine and only mine, what do you say doll? Wanna come back and live with me"

Dabi show case devilish smile was vacant , now a show of hostile in his face

“What if I come across that corner and bite that neck of yours (name)”

His voice was calm but his demeanor was sinister.you could see red gleaming in his eyes

You saw a flash of black,now you ended up upstairs in the middle of the hallway on your back with vampire in the crook of your neck ,his keen fangs edging on your vital

"...your the devil touya"

He licked a long stripe on your neck, now placing kisses on your jaw "if I'm the devil you must be the devil's woman huh" he let out a raspy chuckle, he lifted your thighs up" your something else you know that (name),Do you get off to me to trying to kill you " he moved to the side staring at the wet mark on your neck.

He licked a long stripe on your neck, now placing kisses on your jaw "if I'm the devil you must be the devil's woman huh" he let out a raspy chuckle, he lifted your thighs up" your something else you know that (name),Do you get off to me to trying to kill you " he moved to the side staring at the wet mark on your neck.

"Dabi why is it so hot" you tried to push him off you but he wouldn't budge

"Don't worry doll, the aphrodisiacs are doing that" dabi ran his hands around your waist"those huntsman have treated you so badly, don't you wanna get revenge"

"Yes... But"

Your body was burning in the inside, how did he get his hands on aphrodisiacs? Did he sneak something on his tongue

"Dabi-please" at this point you were begging to have some sort intimacy

He took your face in his hand "but what? Together we can be unstoppable, a powerful couple, rule over kingdoms although You would look better holding my children in that stomach of yours " he ripped your tattered clothes off with ease" all you gotta say is yes darling "

"Yes, fuck yes -please dabi"

His clothes were vacant, you felt something hard press against your outer lips, you begin grinding on to his cock

Your being such a needy bitch in heat" his length closing around your walls like a fitted glove,in such a slow manner ,now accompanied by him placing a hand on the bulge poking in your stomach”your such a good huntress doll, now your becoming my prize possession, mind to ravish every night and every day" he was half way in your pussy,groaning at how tight you are "for a pesky girl, your cunt is perfect".

Dabi got closer to the stained mark on your neck, placing hickes all over it. His thoughts were clouded with marking you as his,nobody can touch you with their filthy hands again .

He pressed his fingers against your throbbing clit, soft rubbing making you walls clench around his shaft.

He pulled out, letting out a deep grunt only to plunge himself with a hard thrust, his tip pushing against your womb.

You let out a groan feeling a sharp pain,his keen nails clawing at your waist, watching your blood pouring out on to floor. The pleasure mixed with the pain sending over the edge,he went a couple thrust before cumming releases a raspy moan,dabi took his fingers licking off your blood.

"You taste just as good too" you heard coming down from your high, dabi pulled out uncovering his seed soaking out, he put your legs over his shoulders "wait dabi" you felt his fangs graze your pearl "don't order me around (name)" you jolted when his two fingers went inside your sopping pussy

He pressed the flat of his tongue on your clit with his fingers working on sending you into another orgasm. The Flicking of his tongue and the curling on that gummy spot, sucking on your inner lips with a small pop.

You couldn't hold it, your juices spraying you and dabi face. "What a slut you are doll" he licked his lips watching you pass out from exhaustion

You woke up in room that didn't belong to you, dressed in a beautiful chemist,with a robe hanging off your shoulders .there was pain in the side of your neck, two swollen puncture holes. you had a aquamarine necklace and blood red ring in your hands,the sounds of the fire popping and cracking on the side of your chair. "dabi?" you called out,hearing steps coming into the room behind you.

"Yes doll" "where are we and what did you do to me" he went over to the fire place to throw in some more wood, a navy blue half buttoned down shirt with black tuxedo pants,he was holding a glass in his hand,the liquid in the cup was too murky to be wine "If I can recall you said yes to staying with me or were the drugs that powerful to have you say anything" you remember saying agreeing to staying with but that doesn't excuse the pain in your neck

"My neck?"

"I had to for the sake of you staying with me,if you continued remaining a human I would've"accidentally" took your blood"

"What about the huntress and huntsman looking for you!"

"I killed them, you were sleep for about a month, for the remaining time I put up warnings to stay away from the castle, would hate to have humans killing our children"

Thank you for reading💖, I will be taking a small break for a while after I post my headcannons

[carrottuan93]

Haven’t met you yet | Mark

Masterlist (3/4) | part1 - part2 - part4

Starring: MK x You

Tags: Mark Tuan, Fluff, Destiny, Waiting, Christmas, Bookworm, Nerd, Love, Fate

Total WC: 2194

You nearly puked your guts out to the sight of Jackson sticking to Eunhee and hugging her like forever has been robbed from them. You failed to confide to your best friend about what happened to you in the last 24 hours. So as not to spoil their couple time together, you chose to not disturb them and just mingle with all the kids in the sweet treats section. You love kids so much you play Santa and distributed macarons to each one of them. As expected, most of your close friends and guests brought their own boyfriends, if not, their own husbands and it was a nice show to witness, with sarcasm aside. Thanks to Jackson’s little cousins, they keep you entertained with their bubbly personality.

 “One with the kids, sure you’re missing the party in the adult section, no?” The sight of a guy clad in a formal white dress shirt, tucked in a black denim pants partnered with a classic chuck taylor, and a gray winter coat, welcomed your eyes. Guys who dress fashionably is such a head turner for you.

“Actually, they keep me company so I’m having fun to be honest.” You replied, feeling all the weird sensation cascading across your spine. You feel a bit nauseous whenever guys approach you. You don’t know if you even want to be with a guy right now, after your embarrassing experience last night.

 “My cousins here are a bunch of nuisance, you’ll get tired of them soon.” He picked one matcha macaron from the aisle and took a bite of it. You observed his expression. A smile crept up to his face and you caught sight of Eunhee in a distant, gossiping to Jackson that you’re having a moment with his cousin. You certainly know that they’re mentally pairing you up already and you are growing nervous about the plans that they are possibly plotting behind your back.

 “You like it? I bought them all the way from a café near my workplace that sells classic macarons just like the original ones from Paris.” He nodded in approval as you watch him took another piece, this time it’s strawberry. That’s your favorite flavor among the rest and you can really tell that the sweet tooth runs on Jackson’s bloodline by how his cousins, from the little chubby ones and the grown up beside you, munch on your favorite treat.

 “I never really eat macarons, but you introduced me into it. You deserve a recognition, uhm?” He lifted his hand for a handshake. He doesn’t know your name yet so you took his hand and introduced yourself right away.

 “It’s Y/n, Eunhee’s best friend. Thank you for the recognition by the way. Well, you come here with a date?” You’re mentally tiptoeing above the thin ice. It’s better to assume that this cute guy over here is already taken, I mean with his looks, he's totally a charmer, you thought to yourself.

 “I didn’t bring anyone with me, so I assume you also come along on your own, no?” Green light. Okay, you need to calm down. This isn’t like any of your past blind dates but first meetups are usually nerve wracking and scary so you played the innocent heroine that you are and chose to just go with the flow seeing how Eunhee and Jackson are staring at you maliciously from Mark’s back, you know they were able to receive the death notes you are sending them via telepathy.

 “That explains it.” It’s not that you had a thing with cute guys, but maybe you just discovered it right now. You can tell he’s a decent one, a cool and random Asian-American import from the west and maybe if you’re an ice cream, you already turned into liquid by the way he stares at you.

 “I don’t know anything about you yet, but would you trust a complete stranger to celebrate your Christmas eve with? If you’re up for it, we’ll leave this party right away because I can tell that you’re going to get sick from all these couples outnumbering us.” Have you been a good girl this year? You didn’t include this guy on your Christmas list but Santa rewarded you without even asking for it.

 “I’m putting my trust on you knowing that Jackson is a good guy so does his cousin. I'll sue him and he’ll answer for the damages and fines in case you failed to bring me back in good shape.” You both let out a hefty chuckle earning glares from your best friend and her boyfriend. You’ve decided to pursue your spontaneous trip with Mark and the next thing you know you’re already closing the front door upon your exit even before the two of them could react to your great and grand escape.

  ----

  He took you on a ride away from the busy and bustling streets of Seoul. You're thrilled to find out that he actually brought you to Namsan Tower, the highest peak in the city. You're awed expression cannot suffice the picturesque panoramic scenery of Seoul unfolding in front of your very eyes when you entered the observatory on the top most floor. You were unable to talk all of a sudden and your heart is brimming with unexplained strings of emotion as you kept on taking pictures and videos of the breathtaking place that sent your eyes into a food coma.

 "I only went to N tower once, or maybe twice but that was during the day and I have no idea that this is how it looks at night. It's a miss, nobody will be able to witness this scene on a Christmas eve the way we're seeing it right now." You forgot about your shameful episodes of last night's happenings and your worries disappeared in just an instant.

 "I kind of paid for tonight's reservation when I arrived here in Korea a week ago, with the hopes of spending Christmas only to myself. Consider yourself lucky, you've managed to join me on this one-time event. Heck, the price I paid for is totally worth it. Come here and try this." He urged you to look on the telescope, and to your surprise, you're taking in every aspect of the city in a bird's eye perspective. Everything you look at is really stunning. Like you never really imagined that perfection exists for real until tonight and you're experiencing it with a random guy whom you've only met an hour ago. Your eyes met his and you wished you aren't redder than a rotten tomato for looking like a lost deer caught on a headlight.

 "The view here is really pretty.” He gave you a smile, too charming for your own consumption.

“It really is.” He’s even prettier than the view. You can only sense your guy-o-meter raising for Mark. Good lord, is this a sign? Your mind is now ready to tick the ideal guy boxes on your list.

 “We shouldn't keep this New York style pizza from waiting while it is hot.” He chuckled, like the cute kid that he is. There is something with his unique laugh that you really don’t mind hearing at all. Is he older than me? Please, I don’t want to date someone younger than me.

 “Okay, sure kid.” You followed him as he sat on the ground in a dimly lit room radiating a romantic atmosphere under the starry and chilly skies of Seoul. This is not a date, but a friendly escape out of boredom planned by two single hearts on a Christmas eve. As if you’re two partners in crime, sitting on one of the highest skyscrapers in town, while sharing a box of pizza. It’s just that you aren’t Bonnie and neither he is your Clyde but you're loving the idea of him as someone whom you can rely on.

 “I’m older than you, silly.” The sight of a wine bottle behind him caught your attention and wondered where it came from. He noticed you eyeing the prize so he did the honor and poured you a glass of wine while you’re devouring your slice of pizza. You never imagined that eating pizza is too romantic and one for the books.

 “Any proof that you’re actually above 25? Cause you really look young. With that face, you can qualify for a student discount on public transports and still save money for your commute.” You want to make sure that he’s at least 5 years older than you. You prefer dating someone older than you because they always say that a guy's maturity is a year delayed for his age.

 “Trust me, I just know. I’m old enough to buy a house and enter into casinos, I guess.” He gave you a wink and you felt a gush of strong wind blew your senses away. He’s totally a Romeo and you took a swig of wine while observing him secretly.

 “So you’re a gambler? I might have been spending my time with some kind of a mafia leader and still have no clue about it.” He’s laughing at it again. I might have a talent with making cute guys laugh and that’s an asset I only discovered right now.

 “What, no! But my dad is a big spender in casinos. My duty is to look out for him and take him home before he could even bet our fortune with his leisure. I could always hear him say ‘It has gotta be all or nothing’. He’s born for taking risks and maybe I got that gene from him that’s why.” He stretched his legs and sat like he’s on a photoshoot. He’s not a model but he can beat the professional ones even without the need for screening.

 “What’s the biggest risk you’ve taken in your life so far?” You folded your legs as you watch him wonder with his eyes fixed on the ceiling. He poured a glass for himself and you noticed that he used the same glass that you drink on.

 “I believe we’re taking risks everyday in our lives. The only difference is the distance of our leap towards taking or not taking chances at all. Like when you’re playing a game, everything starts with equal opportunities. It’s a race to the witch mountain. The first one to gamble takes it all. You gotta be the predator of every tournament and you gotta be the last one standing in a survival of the fittest. If you’re brave enough to take the earliest start, you can use that advantage to ace your end game. It’s all about timing and investing. Win or lose streak. There is no such thing as a grey area when it comes to taking risks. You don’t get to tie with anybody. Either you’ll win or lose. You just have to trust your instincts and roll your dice like everyday is your last day on earth. If I go for something, I go all in. No half-baked decisions. Because my father taught me that risks equates to rewards and I’m all up for the extremes of both worlds. That’s the one thing I’m best at. I know how to play the game nice and fair because I know how to measure the corners of a square and even the distance around the circle which is not visible to the naked eye. After all, he considers me as his lucky charm. That explains my presence to his endless casino nights. And he hardly ever loses if I’m with him. Sure, Pops are probably waiting for me at our doorstep in LA right now. Too bad, his son is on the other side of the world, taking his own risk of a lifetime.” You left with no words to say. He’s too deep, a food for the soul. Guys like him are the ones that can be displayed in museums. He’s a delicate art and nobody should be allowed to touch him but the curator. And you’d want to take that role.

 “What if you lose? If you go all in and you lose everything all at once? Have you experienced it already?” you asked, admiring the tiny mole sitting under his left eye. You decided to take your second glass of wine.

 “The best thing about losing is that you’ve tried. I don’t take failures as an excuse for not trying again and taking another risk the next day. If I lose, so what? That only means you’re brave because you grow stronger with every fall that you take. Like a bamboo tree, it only bends but it doesn’t break. Life is all about swimming against the current of uncertainties and finding yourself floating on top of your insecurities.” As if he’s summarizing all the lessons in life, you’d always want to go for the front seat. He’s a walking self-help book, and maybe Mark Manson’s book of ‘the subtle art of not giving a fuck’ would have to sit longer in my shelf for the meantime. I got a risk-taker author Mark, right here and I got nothing to worry about.

[lumosandnoxwriting]

Hi. I'd like to vent ⚡ please. Thank you for the opportunity. I'm quite worried about this. I really don't want to offend anyone. Anyway... I've been struggling with this idea of "mutuals" as someone who's a small non-writer blog, it feels really exclusive. Like High School cliques in a way. I came to Tumblr to make friends with people in fandom and because I don't have much access to pop irl. But "mutuals" makes it impossible. Like they're already chosen and anyone outside of that doesn't matter. I know it's pretty or whiny but I'd like to get to know people, but I feel like I don't get a chance. And the whole cym thing feels like asking strangers to recommend a way for blogs to brag about their friends... Like if you're not on this list, why bother? It's kinda mean to ask. I'm sorry if that seems harsh or offensive. I guess it's a huge rejection trigger. Like isn't followers enough? Why create another separation? Can't been all be equal friends? I could go on... I'm sorry. If you want to ignore this, I get it. 💓

hi! thank you for coming to vent, it’s always good to get your negative feelings out. 

as far as how you feel about mutuals, I totally get how you feel! When I first joined Tumblr a lot of the people who were active had been on hp Tumblr for quite a while and knew each other and it kinda made me feel like an outsider. but honestly, everyone is so incredibly nice and receptive to new people! its such a cliche, but the best way to make friends is to reach out to people! even if it’s just a simple ‘hey, how are you?’ I've made several friends/mutuals just from having people send an ask or a message! I know it can be scary to send a message to someone random but that’s really the best way to make friends! I can get how it can seem like something that’s exclusive, but people also aren’t mind readers - you know? so if there’s someone you'd like to be mutuals with or friends with, just reach out to them! like I said, everyone is genuinely so nice and receptive you’re sure to make a ton of friends if you just send a message out!

as far as cast your mutuals - I totally get why it comes across that way. Personally I like doing cast your mutuals because it’s a fun game to play with your friends. I never expect anyone who isn’t one of my mutuals to send one in, you know?? and honestly I kind of see it as a way for other people to get to know some other bloggers in a way they might not normally - if that makes sense?? like it might reveal some part of their personality that normally only someone who is friends with them would know. and I think it’s also a nice way to show appreciation for your friends/mutuals. do 99% of my followers probably not care what Harry Potter quote I’d cast my friends as? probably. but it’s just something fun and silly to do as part of a celebration or event. the same way I would write a blurb or a headcanon for someone as part of a celebration. its a way of thanking people for their support and mutuals are a huge part of that, so to me it makes sense for there to be a game just for them.

again I totally see your point especially with creating a designation between followers and mutuals. that was never my intention with doing a cym for an event and I hope it doesn’t come across that way! I love and appreciate everyone who follows me, and I can see why it would seem like I’m specifically saying a group of people are my friends over other followers. but I genuinely consider my mutuals my friends. I talk to some of them more than I talk to people who I know IRL, and it’s just a fact of life that people are going to be closer to some people more than others. just because there’s an event catered specifically towards one group of people doesn’t mean that I love and appreciate the people who aren’t in that group any less, you know?? I consider all of my followers my friends, but there’s some that I’m closer to because I talk to them on a nearly daily basis. and like I said above, if you want to be a mutual too then just reach out! I am always down for making new friends and would love to chat with all of you lovely people as would any other person out there on hp Tumblr!

so yeah, I’m really sorry if any of my cym’s or interactions with my mutuals has made you or anyone else feel uncomfortable, that was never my intention! also sorry this got a little rambley, but thanks for participating in the event!! 

[morgansyorkie]

All I Ever Wanted Was You- Philippe Myers

Summary: Who breaks the silence first? Who will finally crave and let every single emotion pour out about how one another feels about each other. Will Philippe’s temp and protectiveness get the best of him? All that is known for sure is that no one will forever forget this night out.

Word Count: 5,560

Disclaimer: Night out of the town drinking, language (thank you @quinny-boy-hughes​ for helping me with the Title)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first time you laid eyes on him you thought that it was impossible for him to even be real. He looked like he should be cast in some romantic Disney movie as the handsome prince.

The extremely tall guy sat in the seat beside you and right away you kept coming up with different scenarios in your head on what would be the best way to introduce yourself and talk to him. Unfortunately, you never got the chance to play any of that out because one you knew that a guy like him would never want to give a girl like you the time of day. Secondly, it didn’t help that your twin brother got to him before you could even give him a smile and let's just say it went downhill from there because how are you supposed to not fall in love with your twin’s best friend.

But here you were five years later walking into the crowded downtown bar to celebrate your twin brothers' best friends 23rd birthday. Philippe and some of his closest team-mates were already on a driven high after winning a tough game earlier that night. You walked over to the group of young guys who were dressed way nicer than you and had way more energy than you. Your eyes immediately caught Phil’s and you couldn’t comprehend how handsome he looked especially right after a rough game. You were about to walk up to him and wish him a happy birthday but once again your brother beat you to it. He went full speed ahead and jumped on top of Phil and started yelling “Happy Birthday My Brother” to him. You on the other hand stood there and waited for your annoying brother to be done so you could quickly say hi and happy birthday before adventuring off and doing your own thing. Even some of Phil’s team-mates could sense how tense and awkward you felt at that very moment, so they even tried their best to get Philippe’s attention for you.

Your brother than proceed to tell Phil about how some girls around your guys section couldn’t stop talking about him throughout the game and how he took it upon himself to let the “good looking” girls know that he would be here at this very bar tonight celebrating his birthday if they wanted to come make an appearance. Phil just shook his head and laughed.  

“I’m going to get a drink,” you said to no one in particular and though some of the players standing around you guys nodded like they actually cared, when deep down inside you knew no one care especially Phil. But out of the corner of Phil’s eye he could see you uncross your arms and head towards the bar. He doesn’t get it; he doesn’t understand why you couldn’t have just blurted out happy birthday before ditching him to go to the bar.

“Where ya going, y/n? Don’t talk to any strangers or get into any trouble and while you're at it can you get me a beer...oh might as well make that two beers for me” Your brother said while shouting and grinning at you half way across the bar.

“Stop being a fucking dick! If you want drinks so bad walk to the bar and grab them yourself, I’m not your fucking maid y/b/n” is all you managed to say back before the snickers started around the group and you’re not even embarrassed by it. You’re annoyed and over it and decided in that moment that you’re not going to have the chance at getting any attention from Phil for the rest of the night and that you’re just going to have to keep your feelings for him aside like you have been for the past five years.

While waiting at the bar to get served on you kept going over in your head the many of times you had pushed your feelings for the young pro hockey player aside. You remember all of the countless house parties, bon fires, beach days where you thought that today was going to be the day to finally shoot your shot with Phil and tell him how you truly feel about him, but of course it never happened and you can thank y/b/n mostly for it. It’s like he somehow knew what you were planning to do and he just wanted to ruin it so badly for you. Every time you are around Phil you can’t help but feel some type of way whether it’s seeing him after games back at home in Canada or the games he fly's you guys into Philly for, or after nights out on the town with just the guys and he comes back your guys place to crash instead of going to the hotel to crash with his team or even on lazy Sundays during the summer break when it was just the two of you sitting around watching TV or catching up with life while his best friend is asleep. You’d both cooked together and sang along to stupid songs anywhere from rap to country to pop in the kitchen together and you’d told him that any girl would be lucky to have him in their life and as their boyfriend right after his horrible breakup with his last girlfriend Sophie in hopes that he would get the hint that you wanted so bad to be that lucky girl of his.

At the bar you find yourself nursing a cranberry and vodka even though you promised yourself that it was just going to be a few beers and call it a night, but way deep down inside you knew that this is what you needed, just a few minutes to yourself and then you’ll come around - you always do in the end but this one hurts a bit more and you’re struggling to pin point exactly why.

The stool scrapes on the tile floor beside you and you’re not even halfway done your drink - you’re not quite ready to talk yet, but you always knew that both your brother and Phil have never been good with timing and though your brother would apologize you just feel like it doesn’t like seem to matter much in the moment.

“Don’t worry about it, y/b/n” you tell him, eyes on your drink. “I’m just going to finish this over here but I’ll come back over to the group,” you sighed.

You wonder if they had even heard you, you were surprised at how quiet they both were. “Umm, I think that you have mistaken me for someone else” You heard a stranger's voice say aloud.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I...I thought you were someone else that I am here with.” You said whipping your head over to the direction of the unfamiliar voice.  

“No worries and wow what is a gorgeous young lady like you doing at the bar all by her lonesome?” The strange male asked while trying to get the bartenders attention

“On no no no I am here with a group of people, just needed to get away for a few to collect my thoughts and just have a drink alone. But it’s totally fine, my thoughts about him can wait another day I shouldn’t let them take control over the night anyways.” You said taking another sip of your drink

Phil leans against the table and looks over in your direction but tries not to make it obviously to the guys that he standing there watching your every move. His mind totally goes blank during the story that Travis was in the middle of telling when he sees you talking to some random guy next to you at the bar. His chest starts to tighten at the site of you talking to another dude instead of being right next to him or at least around him. He wonders to himself is he ever going to get the courage to tell you how feels about you without his best friend wanting to rip his head off or will someday he just be able to shake all of these feelings and just get over you.  

You sit there still making small talk to the guy whose name you don’t remember and could care less about even though he will probably be trying to give you his name again along with his number eventually. Your mind was doing many actions at once that you didn’t even notice the bartender placing a couple of drinks to the side of you, if you figured it was for another customer so just completely ignored it and tried focusing on what the dude was blabbing on about.  

Phil doesn’t leave your side though and he knows that you don’t know that it’s him standing there next to you, which he is kind of glad about since he is trying to ease drop on the conversation that you're having with this random dude. When Phil see’s the guy fixing the bar stool so he could get closer to you, that is when he decided to leap into action. He picks up his beer that he just got and took a quick sip of it before sliding over a new order of cranberry and vodka in front of where your hands are running through the condensation on the glass and rested his other hand on top of your shoulder.

You jumped immediately when you felt a hand lay on your shoulder and your eyes bugged out when you saw a freshly new drink sitting in front you. You quickly snapped your head around to see Philippe standing there with an adorable goofy grin on his face.

“Philippe Myers you scared the living hell out of me!” You said yelling at him while smacking his arm playfully  

Phil just smiled and laughed back at you while rubbing your shoulder. “Sorry princess I didn’t mean to startle you, I was just wanted to come over and make sure that you were okay since you never returned with your drink nor did I receive my happy birthday and hug from you.” He said with arms wide open waiting for his hug like a little kid

“Happy Birthday you leaf eater” You said giggling aloud and giving Phil a huge hug

“I swear I’m going to kill Kevin for that awful nickname”. Phil said shaking his head and taking another sip of his beer

“Also thank you for the drink you didn’t have to do that, you’re the birthday boy. I should be the one buying you drinks.” You said shaking your head and rolling your eyes at him

You completely forget you were in the middle of talking to the random guy next to you, until he cleared his throat and got your attention back.

“I didn’t realize you had, um,” The random guy said trying to figure out how to address the situation next to you

“I don’t,” you say even though you badly wanted to be like yup this is Phil my talented handsome and athletic boyfriend who could kick your ass in a heartbeat. Instead you told him that Phil was your brothers' best friend whose birthday it is and that you are all out here celebrating it.

Phil isn’t sure what to say though, not sure what he should do in this type of situation even though he so badly wants to grab you and say “yeah buddy she’s taken so kindly back off before it gets ugly”. But he doesn’t know how you would feel about that or how you truly feel about him at all. He’s pretty sure he does love you, wait he knows that he is madly in love with you, he just doesn’t know how to express it to you or how to get you to express your feelings towards him. He’s pretty sure that’s why the boys tell him he’s an idiot all the time for not being honest with his emotions or why Kevin gave him that ridiculous lecture a few weeks ago stating that he needs to have a serious talk with both y/b/n and you and let everything off of his chest. He always thought that Sophie was the one for him and that it would be the both of them at the end of time and that they’d have kids who would grow up watching their dad play hockey and spend their summer back home surrounded by friends and family. But now Phil sees how Sophie was never truly the one for him that in fact you have been the dream girl that he has been waiting for his whole life for. Sophie hated when he lost his temper on the ice and hated how he was always in a bad mood after a tough loss and would rather drive home in silence than to pay attention and have a conversation with her the whole way home to his apartment. But again, you completely understood it all and would text him letting him know that you watched the game and that you were always going to be there for him no matter what. Sophie couldn’t stand nor did she want to listen to country or ridiculous poppy music in the kitchen while showing him how to properly bake cookies or whatever else he was in the mood for. Phil suddenly knew that Sophie wasn’t in the relationship for the right reasons anymore, he couldn’t see he himself sitting on the porch swing all morning back in Moncton, New-Brunswick with Sophie and though Phil hasn’t had the chance to enjoy that moment with you yet, you’ve surely had coffee with him enough times on the balcony at his apartment that he knows you’ll love it and now he can’t think of anything he wants more in the world than to see you beside him while the sun rises each and every single day.

Y/n almost finished the drink that you got for her while you lose yourself in visions of your guys friendship and visions of the future and when you pull yourself back where you are still standing behind y/n making the random guy still sitting next to her feel rather awkward while trying his best to hit on her without pissing you off. If only a few of the guys could walk by right about now because they surely would be living for this situation that is brewing.  

“Hey man, I know she's your friend and all, and that it’s your birthday but can you just leave us alone for a little while longer and get back to your boys. I promise I’ll send her over to you guys once we are done.” The random said guy said while trying to place his hand on top of your thigh.

“Excuse me what?!” You said practically choking on your drink.  

“Oh god are you okay? The guy at the bar asked as he went to go pat your back

But Phil was already on it, patting and rubbing your back. He wasn’t going to let this creep guy touch you in any type of way.

“I’m so sorry y/n I didn’t mean for that to happen. But what I was trying to say is that I liked where are conversation was going and I want to continue to talk to you but it be more of just us. I want to get to know you more and see why you have such a horrible taste in a hockey team.” The guy said with a laugh while pointing out your Philadelphia Flyers shirt underneath your black leather jacket.

You could feel Philippe starting to get uncomfortable behind you, you felt his hand go from your shoulder to your waist. In that very moment, his touch had sent chills down your spine and lit a fire in your chest and you would be lying to yourself if you didn’t love the way he rested his hand on your waist. It felt like complete home and you just wanted him to keep it there forever, but even more now in this moment because you didn’t like where this was going with the guy next to you.

“Excuse me, what is so wrong with my choice of hockey team? You do realize you're sitting in a bar in downtown Philadelphia where like 95% of this place is Flyers fans right? You said side eyeing him while you finish off your drink.

“I do realize that, but to me they are utter trash especially the defense. I don’t know the guy's name or anything, but the one defensive player is a complete waste of talent.” The guy said shaking his head in utter disgust “But I have a feeling that I could totally change your mind and make you switch teams just like that.” He said with a playful smile and a pat to your thigh.

“Which defensive player are you talking about? This whole team has such an amazing talent, especially on defense so I don’t know what you are on about buddy and no, never in a million years will anyone make me switch my team thank you very much.” You said to him and quickly glance back at Phil to give him a reassurance smile that you will never ever let anyone diss him or his team mates like that

“Alright for real man! You gotta go, you keep distracting her from our lovely conversation. Go back and hangout with the boys and like I said once we are done and we both get what we want from this, then she’ll make her way back over.” The guy said with a cocky grin plastered on his face

Phil had enough of this guy, he had enough of him talking about you in that type of way. You weren’t some pawn or game piece to be played with like that.  

Phil stepped away from you and your veins immediately went to ice, you missed his touch you tried grabbing for his hand to hold just so you could get warmth back into your body.

“Don’t you ever and I mean EVER talk about her like that again! She isn’t a toy and no you will not send her back when you are “done” because your time is up and I’m not letting her be alone with you anymore you fucking creep.” Phil said between clenched teeth

“Really my dude you want to go there?” The guy said getting off the bar stool and standing in front of Phil. “I haven’t done anything wrong and everything was going perfectly fine until you showed up.” The guy said poking at Phil’s chest

You looked up at the two men, the random guy which you think his name is Brad who knows like you said earlier you weren’t totally paying any attention when he first introduced himself. Anyways this Brad guy had some height and size to him but Phil still had a good five plus inches on the guy and by the way you saw his jaw clench you knew this wasn’t going to end well for Brad or whatever his name is.

“Don’t touch me...don’t touch her...don’t touch anyone and just leave before you regret everything.” Phil said with vile boiling up in his throat

“Enough! The both of you please stop, not right here and not tonight. It’s not worth it, you both are crossing the line right now.” You said jumping to your feet and squeezing yourself in between both men before a punch is thrown.

Thankfully in the meantime your twin brother looked over in your direction and could sense and see the pleading look in both your eyes and your body figure. “Dude something doesn’t seem right.” Y/b/n said while tapping on Kevin’s shoulder and pointing him into the direction at the bar

“Let’s go check it out.” Kevin said in a hurry and headed over to bar where you and Phil were

“Everything alright over here?” Y/b/n said with Kevin right by his side  

“Actually, no everything is not okay! This guy couldn’t mind his own damn business and had to ruin a great time and conversation I was having with this lovely lady over here.” Brad had said while pointing his finger over at Phil

“Fuck off dude, you were acting like a complete scum and was treating her like she was a little kid.” Phil spat back

Brad went to go grab his drink off the bar to chuck it at Phil not realizing that you were still standing in between them

“y/n watch out!” Your brother said grabbing and pulling you out of the way and tossing you over to Kevin

At this point, Phil’s blood had boiled over. Every emotion he was feeling that evening was suddenly washed away with anger

“You got to be fucking kidding me, right?” He yelled while trying to go after Brad

“TK come get y/n and bring her outside for some fresh air.” Kevin said calling Travis over

“Come on y/n let's get out of here for a few minutes and get some much-needed fresh air.” Travis said grabbing your waist lightly and walking outside to sit on a bench out front of the bar

You and Travis are sitting on the bench outside in silence at first in the brisk cold Philly air, until you finally spoke up. “This is all my fault...I ruined the night...I ruined his birthday. I should never have come out to begin with, it’s not like he would have cared if I didn’t show up. He is my brother’s best friend, not mine.” You said while picking at the strings from the rip in your jeans.  

“Don’t say that y/n you didn’t ruin anything especially Phil’s birthday, and of course he would have cared if you didn’t show up. If he didn’t care if you were here or not than he surely would have not have tried to fight some guy in the bar for you tonight.” Travis said while putting his hand onto your shoulder to ease your mind.

“Maybe it’s for the best if I just go, I’ll order myself an Uber and head to the hotel so you guys can enjoy the rest of the night and Phil can enjoy what’s left of his birthday without me being around to cause any trouble.” You say as you pull out your phone and order an Uber.

Phil doesn’t know what to do and though Kevin, Nolan and your brother all tell him what a moron he is from practically almost killing a guy in a bar.  

“Dude, I know how much you like my sister. I’m not stupid nor was I just born yesterday, but man violence isn’t the way of showing her how much she means to you.” Y/b/n said while patting Phil on the head as he is sitting down for once. “Just go outside and talk to her, let her finally know how you feel.”

“I guess you're right, even though I don’t think I can handle any type of rejection right now.” Phil said as he grabs his own coat and heads for the door before anybody else can add on to the chirping.

“y/n before you order yourself an uber, just talk to him. Everything was just a big misunderstanding tonight; I’m sure Phil wouldn’t want to see you leave either.” Travis said while standing up so Phil could sit on the bench next to you.

You don’t even answer Travis or look up from your phone or even realize that Travis had left and that now Phil was the one sitting next to you on the bench until he broke the silence between you two.

“You’re leaving?” He said in a hurt whisper voice

His voice made you snap out of it. “Yeah, I’m going to order an Uber home, it’s better if I just go. I ruined the night and ruined your birthday Phil. I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to cause any drama.” You said while staring at the phone laying in your lap

Phil couldn’t get over how you managed to look so beautiful while you were in a distress state and he hates how you are putting all of the blame on yourself; he knows that you didn’t do anything wrong. “y/n please don’t go...please stay. I’m begging you to stay, I need you to stay.” He said as he reaches for your hand

“I shouldn’t have come, I should have just let you enjoy your birthday night with just the guys and then I could have just seen you tomorrow for brunch or something.” That way you could been talking and flirting with girls, instead of trying to look out for me.” You said as you ran your fingers through your hair.

“Are you kidding me? Out of everyone here, you’re the only one that matters to me, you’re the only one that I care about. That’s why I got so defensive and protective over you when I saw you talking to that guy.” He said while finally grabbing your hand and lacing it with his hoping that you wouldn’t pull away

"I think the word you are looking for is jealous Phil...I have never seen that side of you before. Sure, I have seen you in a protective state many of times, but I have never seen you so damn jealous...especially over a girl like me.” You said slowly looking up at him

You’re just now sitting there staring at him, waiting for a reason to why he acted out in pure jealously tonight. For the past five years Philippe has been nothing more than your brother’s best friend, nothing more than the guy that you had to keep pushing away feelings for because god forbid someone as attractive as him and someone who is way more richer than you could ever fall for a simple average girl like you.

Phil looks right into your eyes, his head cocked a little to the side on the fact that you did in fact call him out for his jealously, but mostly he is confused on why you think that he wouldn’t find you attractive. You’re smart, funny and drop dead gorgeous in his eyes, he doesn’t understand why no guy has made you theirs yet, but again he is glad because the only guy you deserve to be with is him.  

Phil isn’t exactly sure what to do or say next, he catches your beauty in the lit light from the street lights and just pulled you in closer to his body.

“I’ve never been in love; you know that right” he said out of the blue and you’re not sure what you were expecting for him to say but it’s not that and Phil can see your brow furrow as he keeps speaking. “I’ve never been in love but I think I could be, or I think that I am in love in already” He said in like a question and now you’re really confused because he could be talking about anyone and from experience love is a thing you know for sure, so you really don’t understand what he is getting at.

“Philippe Myers, what in the fuck are you trying to get at? Why are you bringing this up and where is this coming from? Are you considering reaching back out to Sophie?” You ask with a confused look trying to see if you can get any answers from the look in his eyes.

“God no y/n! It’s you, you’re the one who I am in love with! You’re all the good things somebody could ever want, you’re beautiful and sexy as hell and you’re smarter than everyone else I know combined and yet you’re always there for me when I need someone the most. I have taken our friendship for granted at times, I have let my emotions eat me alive because of what y/b/n might think or react if I told you how I truly felt.”

You simply stared at each other now while holding each others hands with inter lock fingers because you’re trying to process what he’s said and honestly your mind is completely blown away.  

“What? You love me?” They’re the first words you speak in several minutes and Phil nods like he has said the wrong thing or like he has disappointed his own mother or something. He’s never been good with feelings or explaining himself.

“Yes y/n, I have loved you since we were eighteen. I have felt feelings for you since the moment I laid eyes on you five years ago. It’s why I chose to sit next to you in class, so I could get to know you better, but your brother must have known my plan or something. I don’t really know,” Phil said as he took a piece of your hair and pushed it back behind your ear. “You’re the person I think of when something good has happened and you’re the person who I want to go to for advice. You’re the girl who I want to call me out for being a dumb idiot and the girl who I want to see in the stands wearing my jersey all the time”

“I already wear your jersey to the games that I go to Phil” you said interrupting him but he shakes his head.

“No, I want to get you the cute special girlfriend jersey that all of the other guys wives and girlfriends wear” he continues on, “I want to bring you to team events as my girl and show you off to the team. I want to move you out here and live with me in my apartment, I want to wake up to you by my side every single day of my life. I want to miss your face and face-time you until you fall asleep on me when I’m away on a road game. I can’t keep these feelings inside of me any longer y/n and I completely understand if you don’t feel the same way. I just...I just need to get all of this off of my chest before I explode.

“I love you.” Is all that you could say right now

“Don’t say it unless you mean it, y/n,” Phil whisper and you think that he might actually break down and cry, you’re not even sure yourself that you won’t break down and cry with him because you can feel the tears prick in your eyes and so you blink a few times to try and control them.

“I’m serious Phil, I’m so in love with you. These past five years I have been pushing my emotions and feelings for you away because I knew you were just my brother’s best friend and I thought that never in a million years that a guy so fucking hot would ever see a normal girl like me beautiful. Plus, I didn’t want to hear all the comments and chirping from y/b/n in case you didn’t feel the same way and ruin your guys friendship.” You said inching closer to him

Phil grabs you and pulls you into his lap, so he could wrap his arms around your waist and you could wrap your arms around his neck, with your legs hanging off to the side. The two of you stay there for what seemed like a few minutes or hours or days, you’re not really sure until Phil leans in and kisses you so very carefully. “I have been waiting for years to kiss those lips of yours”. He said leaning his forehead against yours and pushes your hair back once more, before bringing his lips back down to yours.

You kiss him back so loving and passionately, not wanting to break from him in case for some strange reason he changes his mind or says that this was all just a joke and that your brother dared him to say all of this to you and kiss you.

The rest of the guys walk out of the bar. “Let’s go love birds we are going to continue the birthday celebration at your place Myers.” Kevin said smacking him in the back of the head

“Ugh, I think I’m gonna be sick...my best friend and my twin sister...what did I ever do to anyone to deserve this.” Y/b/n said covering his face and shaking his head

“Just think about it this way my dude, if when I ever decide to propose and marry her, you will officially become my brother in law.” Phil said laughing while smacking his best friends' shoulder

The Uber pulled up in front of the bar and everyone climb in to the car, so they can all head back to Phil’s apartment. You and Phil climbed into the very back of the Uber in which he pulled you close next to him.

“This is one birthday that I will always remember and never ever forget.” He said wrapping his arm around you and smiling into your hair

You giggled softly and looked up at him with a stupid grin on your face. “Oh yeah, why is that? Is it, because you almost kicked some scumbag's ass in the bar tonight or...” You said laughing and burring your face into his shoulder

“No, it’s because I finally told my dream girl how much I am in love with her and how I never want to hide my feelings for her ever again.” Phil said leaning in and kissing you like how you imagine all the Disney princes kissed their beloved princesses.

[thegreatfatnerd]

Hi, Hope you enjoy this, if you want to get in touch don't hesitate to message me I will always reply as soon as I can, also if you could leave a little review, it really helps, it helps keep me inspired and motivated x 

8th Doctor finding his new companion x

Finally, it had taken a while, it was tedious yet enjoyable in a way, strange really, going through all the stuff that a previous incarnation held as important, dear and interesting. In a way, they still were because I suppose I am that person but at the same time I'm a different person. Train magazines, hundreds of clocks it would seem, but some things will never change, such as wanting a cup of tea. The Tardis knows me so well, probably better than I know myself.

 Word count : 2832. 

And So The Adventure Begins.

-------------------------------

Sat down in my favorite chair, with a perfect cup of sweet tea, what could be better. Well, staring at an empty chair, what's the point in saving worlds on a semi-regular basis and sitting to relax when you are by yourself. Well usually the Tardis steps in here, she does always seem to know best, she seems to always land in a place so I find someone or so fate gets involved. Maybe this time I should change that, maybe I could find my own companion. I must admit I'm feeling a little lonely, but not for much longer me thinks. Well, maybe I should let fate have its turn, maybe I should let the Tardis decide where we land, then again, who knows where I could end up, who knows what species I could end up with. Maybe for once, I should have full choice, this won't happen often so let's take a chance ...

Earth 2019

"Alright, I heard you I will put the rubbish out, I will eat, but no nothing unhealthy, yes I know I'm on a diet, yes I will sort out everything before I leave... I'm losing you, bye bye." I promptly hang up, "Ugh, I hate people sometimes."

I look in the mirror, this is as good as it will get, I'm 'really dolled up', by that I mean I have literally just cleaned my glasses, bright red lipstick, that if I'm totally honest was totally wrong for me, and that is it. I'm wearing my favorite dress, I think anything with a petticoat, can hide a multitude of sins.

Looking at the clock I realize as usual I'm ready with some time to spare so I make sure I've done everything I need to do. I can hardly believe it sitting here. I'm about to go on my first date, leaving it to the week before your 22nd birthday means I am more nervous than should be necessary.

One last look in the mirror, great, it doesn't really matter what clothes you wear, I will always look fat. Let's get going shall we don't want to miss the bus, that would be a great start either late or on time but out of breath and all sweaty, yuck.

As always the bus is late and it's raining so all that effort on doing my hair is undone, at least that's what I'll say to him, I don't ever really do much to it anyway, it's always big but not quite curly clip the bits off my face and we're good to go.

xxx

I'm standing in the doorway of a restaurant I've never even heard of, some Italian place, great time to get a text the exact time you're meant to meet, he isn't coming, he never had any intention to. Well, I'm here, I don't care if I'm on a diet or not. I want something greasy and unhealthy, tomorrow I'll be going back to my place to live by myself, have no human interaction for at least a week so who's gonna notice.

That's a good plan Chinese, and a walk through the beautiful green gardens, I'm sure that will make me feel better. Bench by the lake, lovely, food, check, no person in sight, even better and to top it all off the rain has stopped.

Of course, there had to be someone where I couldn't see, but hey, as long as this bloke doesn't talk to me or sit by me there's nothing to worry about. Just keep eating, the diet can start again in the morning.

"Excuse me?" First time I look up at this bloke, what the hell is he wearing, velvet jacket, don't see that everyday does you, best be polite.

"Yes."

"Could you help me, I'm terribly confused, I was wondering what year it is?" Great, he's crazy, I'm all alone and there is a crazy bloke with me, could this night get any worse. First proper look at him, and it confirms my suspicions all the good looking guys are mad.

"Umm, 2019, why?"

"Well I thought it was, but then I saw you in that dress, which looks lovely by the way, but then I thought it could be the 1950's but then I looked and saw your food and that confused me again. May I sit down?" Every other bench is empty and he wants to sit with me, this bloke who actually noticed my dress, I really want to say no. But hey I'm curious and if I'm totally honest I don't think it would be possible to say no to those eyes.

"Um, sure." I say moving my things across, I look down and realize how greedy I must look. I have enough food for at least two if not more, "Want some?" I say holding some chips up.

He smiles, I have to admit it was quite a smile, held it up, stared at it for a moment before eating it. I offered him some more of all the food, he did the same with everything.

"What's your name?" He suddenly comes out with, should have really seen that one coming.

After swallowing, "Y/N", I hold out my hand ready to shake, he does take my hand and then replies.

" Hello Y/N, lovely name, I'm the doctor."

"The doctor? Really is that what people call you, what, doctor what?"

"Just the doctor", after that we sat in silence for a little while, I had so many questions I wanted to ask, but I just couldn't bring myself to break this comfortable silence, besides who am I to judge. It wouldn't be fair anyway, everyone around here thinks I'm a bit strange and that never stopped me, maybe it's the same for that guy.

My eyes are starting to itch, oh how could I forget about my hayfever, I'm sitting in a giant flower garden, this really isn't my night is it.

I pick up my bag and start rooting through it. I'm sure I had some tablets or a tissue or something in my bag, why can I never find anything when I need it.

"What are you looking for? Could I help?"

"Just looking for my hayfever tablets or a tissue or something, nothing important."

"But if you're suffering with an ailment then it must be important."

"No, it's just my eyes." I take my glasses off and wipe my eyes with the sleeve of my cardigan. "Fine, see?"

"No, no, this will never do." He rooted through his pockets, as if they were huge, then pulled out a handkerchief, "Here, use this." He offered me the handkerchief, I wasn't going to take it, but pushed it closer, I really didn't have a choice.

"Thank you" What else can I say?

"Your welcome." He stopped and sat for a moment then said: "Are you quite warm enough, it does seem to be going cold and getting dark."

I hadn't really noticed the temperature, but he was right it was getting cold, but of course, I'm not going to let him know, I'll be fine soon, I'll be walking home. "I'm fine, thank you."

"Are you sure?"

"Quite sure thank you." He didn't seem to believe me but didn't say anything. I put my glasses on.

"We should really leave the gardens if there is something affecting your health." He seemed to clarify, "Keep the handkerchief, I've got plenty and you might need it again."

"Oh, well, thank you." I stand up and gather my things, I don't really want to go home yet but suppose I'm going to have to.

"Which way is town again, I can never remember."

I can't help but laugh, "Well, that depends on where you need to go, most of the town is that way" Pointing which way, " train station that way, bus station that way."

"Well, which way are you going." I don't think he realizes how weird and creepy he sounds.

"Um, Oh I'm going in a totally different way."

"But you came from that way, " He said pointing down the now dark, creepy lane next to the church and graveyard.

"Yeah, that's the direction of the place where I got stood up, to go home I need to go that way."

"You said the bus station was that way."

"I'm not getting the bus." Okay, why am I saying all this to a creepy stranger, whose name I don't know.

"How are you getting home, then?"

"Walking, it won’t take too long." Although that's not entirely true it can sometimes take an hour to walk home, but I always enjoyed walking and right now a walk by myself is probably just the thing I need.

"Walk, by yourself, in the dark, I think not."

"It's alright I walk it all the time, and anyway, once you're over the river, there are street lights."

"Let me give you a lift or something"

"Oh, no, I don't want to make you go out of your way."

"It wouldn't let me walk you home," I was about to interrupt when he said, " At least let me walk you to the street lights over the bridge."

"Okay, I suppose."

He offered me his arm, he really was the nicest gentleman I've ever met. I took his arm, and we started walking.

"So you got stood up, then."

"Yeah, a bit of a disaster, eh."

"Well, I think he must be an imbecile, to stand you up."

"No he's just a man, well, here we are at the bridge. It was nice to meet you, doctor."

"The pleasure was entirely mine."

A week later

Finally everything is sorted, ready to move, just typically your flatmate tells you their moving out the day before rent is due and she's leaving today, so no way I will be able to stay.

All morning was spent on the phone to the landlord trying to explain what's happened, he seemed just as annoyed as me, he's coming to collect the keys in 2 hours.

After that all my time was taken by packing all my stuff, so now that's everything into boxes, I don't quite know what I'm doing now, I mean tonight shouldn't be a problem. I will just have to go and stay at my parents house, luckily they are on holiday for a few days and I have the spare key, after that isn't so certain though.

More immediate problem then is how am I moving my stuff, can't drive the car, it's at the garage getting repaired, so no car, not going to be able to get all this on a bus, could get a taxi I suppose.

"Good", he opens the door for me " Which way, back that way", I say pointing from the direction I just walked.

"Bye" Jess pops her head out and round the door, with a box in her arms, her boyfriend having taken everything else. "Oh give these to Mr Baker for me" throwing her keys at me and leaving.

"Why did I ever move in with her, I do not know." I don't know why but speaking to yourself does sometimes help.

I put both our keys on the kitchen table , all my boxes are outside, I've made sure everything is clean. I don't really want to see Mr Baker, he seemed quite angry on the phone, not that I blame him. I know I wouldn't be able to afford it on my own and even if I could I wouldn't want to live alone, even if I do hate people sometimes, maybe one day I'll be a crazy animal lady.

Oh great no credit on my phone, so can't ring a taxi, my parents house is about a 30 minute walk and I wouldn't be able to take all the boxes at once. So I suppose I will have to hide all the other boxes, carry one down to the house to walk back and get the next one. It's going to be a long day.

Well might as well get going, these boxes aren't going to move themselves, besides the weather says it's going to rain again later, at least at the moment it's dry. Boxes hidden behind the shed, hope Mr Baker doesn't get rid of it, that's all my sci fi stuff and other dresses. Oh great I'm going to bump into Mr Baker I know it. Headphones in, musical playlist, I think, to calm me down, let's start walking.

I can't be more than 10 minutes away from where I left, when this bright yellow car pulls up beside me, with none other than the man from last week. What a coincidence that he is up here, almost too good to be true.

"Why, hello there Y/N, what have you got there." Why do I feel the need to tell him everything.

"Oh, hello Doctor, well done for remembering my name, most people don't." That's it keep stalling that will make everything better (!) "Oh, it's just some stuff I'm taking down to a friends." Well it's kinda true.

"Would you like a hand or a lift or something."

"No need, I'm sure I'll be fine"

"It's going to rain soon might as well."

"Oh, all right."

"Alright then"

"This is a lovely car," small talk has never been my forte, besides can't really talk about the weather.

"Oh, yes, I've had her for a long time, her name is Bessie"

"She's lovely, pull in down there on the next left, that's it straight in front."

"Do you believe me?" He says from behind me.

"Are you sure this is where you were headed , you were going in the other direction. "

"Well, as you're here, I thought I'd make the most of it, and get all the stuff."

I hop out the car and head to where I know all the heavy boxes are, what I hadn't expected was for him to be right behind me.

"Funny place to keep clothes, and, are those X-men comics?"

He obviously got distracted, typical man. " Uh, yeah"

"And Wonder Woman, and Superman and Batman ... "

"Yeah there are a few there, I'm not the most sociable person, one can never be lonely with a good book or comic."

He looked up smiling, then his smile fell as he stood up. " Are you alright, you're not getting rid of them are you, you seem to love them?"

"Well, not today, but probably soon" I don't know why I told him everything but I did.

After that he helped me get everything into the car, he got the door for me , he then headed back to the house, went in the general direction of the front door then after a minute if that came back and we headed off the road again.

"I might have a solution to your problem."

"I'm listening" Please don't be creepy, please don't be creepy.

"You could come live with me" Okay it's creepy. "Hear me out, I'm an alien, I have two hearts, I would say see for yourself but I am driving. I live in a spaceship called the Tardis, I can travel anywhere in time and space. How does that sound."

"Like you have read far too many comics."

"Let me show you." He turns down a country lane , and we keep going for some time before we stop at a weird blue, police box. "This is it," He practically jumps out the car and helps me out. "This is the Tardis" It doesn't look like a spaceship, who knows what will happen if I go in there. He opens the door and I can see some lavish furniture, and curiosity always gets the best of me, so I have a look.

Best to be honest "Yes", I could hardly breathe let alone talk.

"No, way, it looks huge in there," I literally walk around this box twice before I step inside, "It's bigger on the inside."

"Do you believe me?" He asks from behindn me.

"Great let's get you moved in, before we have an adventure".

So thank you for reading, honestly I know it's not great please don't be mean and any help to improve would be greatly appreciated X

[let-it-raines]

Love your stories! They're so extraordinary and you're one of my favorite authors! Here's a prompt for you "You fell asleep on the plane and I started making funny faces at your kid to keep him amused and the steward mistook us for a couple." Thanks!

The gif totally applies if you use your imagination, I swear. Also, thank you for your kind words, Anon! For you to say that is so sweet, and it caused a smile to bloom on my face when I got this prompt a few weeks ago as well as right now :D

After being home in London for three months, a part of him wants to stay with his family, his mum, Liam, and Liam’s wife and children, but a much larger part of him aches for the familiarity of his flat in Boston that he’s lived in for the past decade. That is home to him now, and he knows that the ache of missing his family will fade until it is bearable the longer he is away from them and the more miles he puts between them. He’s thought about packing up and moving back across the pond more times than he could count over the years, but something has kept him living in America. He has just never been quite sure what that mysterious call to stay has been. Maybe it is the novelty of living somewhere new, though Boston is as familiar to him as London now. Maybe it is the fact that as much as he loves his family, England holds some of his worst memories. Or maybe it is simply because he’s built a life for himself in America. He has a job he actually enjoys, mates to spend time with, and a place to rest his head that is all his.

However, none of that keeps the sting of saying goodbye to his family from affecting him as he boards the plane that will take him home. Some of that is likely due to the fact that it is five in the morning, and his head pounds behind his eyes so ferociously that his eyes may as well come out of their sockets. As he settles down into his seat, a blessed window seat for the long journey ahead of him, he thinks that maybe the flight won’t be so bad. Maybe he’ll get some sleep. And then a woman and a small babe that can’t be older the half of a year slide into the seat next to him, and while they are quiet now, he knows that they won’t stay that way for the next eight hours. He doesn’t blame them for it. That is simply the nature of children and is to be expected when you spend any amount of time with an infant.

He is just so damn tired.

The woman and her lad are mostly silent for the first hour of the trip as her boy sleeps and she watches a movie on the screen attached to the seat ahead of her. He finds that despite his tiredness and the pounding of his head, he becomes distracted by his neighbors. He can’t outright stare at her without making her uncomfortable (and frankly being creepy), but he does manage to pick up on a few things. She’s got long blonde hair that is twisted into intricate braids that remind him of the way Liam’s wife wears her hair. He’s never quite understood how women do anything but a simple braid down their back, and he’s curious about it as stray pieces of her hair fly away from their constraints and land near his shoulders in the cramped seats. He believes that she has green eyes hidden under the blonde of her eyelashes, and he wonders if her son has matching emerald orbs as well. The lad’s got a small hat on, but his brown hair pokes out underneath it from where it’s gotten mused during his slumber. He must get that from his father.

Where is his father?

It’s none of Killian’s business, but when you’re trapped in a flying vessel for hours on end you become fascinated with your seatmates. He once rode next to a woman who was allowed to bring her cat with her, and she spoke to the cat for the entire three-hour plane ride.

He’s mildly allergic to cats.

It was hell.

Just as he gets lost in his musings, the lad begins to stir, his small eyes fluttering open to reveal the darkest brown eyes he’s ever seen in a child so young. He looks nothing like his mum, and that shocks him a bit as the only children he knows are the perfect combination of their parents. But he also doesn’t know much about kids, so he wouldn’t use himself as an example of infant expertise.

The lad starts to fuss a bit, small cries emanating from his mouth, and the woman’s eyes shoot away from the movie screen to look down at her boy.

“Oh crap,” she mutters, taking her headphones out and adjusting him while she reaches down to look for her bag that’s stuffed under her seat, shuffling through the contents trying to find whatever the item is that seems to be alluding her. She’s obviously flustered and trying to balance everything in her lap while the plane hits a bit of turbulence doesn’t help he cause.

“Love?” he questions, tapping on her shoulder so that she’ll look at him, her green eyes (he was right) blown wide like she’s been shocked until they squint and her brows furrow almost like she’s angry at him.

“I know, I know. I’m annoying for bringing a baby on a plane, but I’m trying to keep him as quiet as possible, I swear.”

She’s obviously not had good experiences traveling with her son before, and he doesn’t want her to think he’s cross with her. He simply wants to help out for everyone’s sanity.

“It’s not that. I was just going to suggest that I hold the lad for you while you search through your bag. Or maybe I could search through the bag to help you find whatever it is you’re looking for if you’re not comfortable with me holding him.”

“Would you,” she begins, her lips parted in surprise, “you’d do that? You’re not pissed that you’re sitting next to the woman with the crying baby? You actually want to help.”

He was at first, but that’s just because he was bloody exhausted. He still is, but he’s pushing that aside. “I’m not pissed, no. He’s nothing but a wee one. He can’t help that he’s crying. You can’t either.”

“I mean, he’ll stop crying if I feed him, but I can’t find my nursing stuff to take to the bathroom. Plus, the entire plane is shaking, and I’m pretty sure I’ll get yelled at for moving around. Or I’ll bust my ass.”

He reaches up to scratch at his ear, suddenly nervous for a reason he can’t quite pick out. It’s like he’s scared of what this woman who he doesn’t know will think of him, and he’s never been one to worry about others he’ll never see again. “If you’d like to switch seats with me for more privacy, you can feed him here. It’s not a bother to me, but I know others can be prickly about that.”

She rolls her eyes before she smiles, and something in his stomach stirs. “You have no idea.”

He and the woman manage to switch seats with only a little fuss and one pointed stare from their flight attendant before she’s feeding her boy, the cries stopping and the woman sighing in relief.

“My name is Emma, by the way. I feel like if you’ve seen part of my boob you should probably know that. Though, I can say that hasn’t always been a true fact.”

He chuckles, mostly because he doesn’t know what to do as he did, in fact, accidentally see part of her breast, but also because the lass manages to have a sense of humor when at least fifteen people on this plane likely want to yell at her.

“I’m Killian, and I fear if I show you something equal I’ll both be a horrible human being and get arrested.”

“So your chest is that scary then?”

Oh, she’s feisty then. He can appreciate that.

“Like Wolverine’s.”

Emma snorts, and as awkward as it is, he finds himself smiling at her. “I don’t know if I’d constitute that as scary, just hairy.”

“That’s scary to some women.”

“A human being exited my body, so I don’t think something as simple as chest hair is going to scare me. To be honest, I kind of like it.”

He kind of likes her.

He and Emma talk for the next couple hours of their flight. He learns that she was in London visiting her brother who had yet to meet his nephew due to the distance between London and Boston. He’d offered to pay for her flights so that she could come, and she accidentally let it slip that it was the first time she’d had any help with Henry (that’s the lad’s name) since he was born. That’s what allows him to piece together his question about Henry’s father and where he is. Okay, so only some of the questions. He’s got many more about how a man could leave a woman as captivating as Emma and a child as precious as Henry, but it’s none of his business so he presses no further.

He does check to see if she’s wearing a ring, though. He can’t help himself.

She doesn’t share much about herself, but she doesn’t have to for him to know that she’s brilliant with a quick wit and very obviously gorgeous. He finds that he may be a bit infatuated with the woman he’s just met, and even if she is the dreaded “woman with a baby on a plane”, she’s the best seatmate he’s ever had.

Take that cat woman who was most definitely not Halle Berry.

Emma would probably be better than Halle Berry anyways. The altitude may be causing him to lose his marbles.

About halfway through their flight, Emma leaves with Henry to change his diaper, and when she comes back, he finally notices the bags under her eyes that most likely match his.

“Emma, love, I can hold him if you want to take a nap.”

She hesitates and brings her bottom lip between her teeth while she studies him. She’s obviously not used to help, and he can understand her not trusting him fully. He’s a stranger, and she can’t just be handing her baby off to anyone, even if they are on a plane where he can’t run off with the lad.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Okay, just, um, if he starts fussing and I don’t wake up, wake me okay?”

“You’ve got it, love.”

Emma hands Henry over to him, and after she checks to see that he won’t fuss being in Killian’s arms, she settles herself down against the window, propping her head on the sweater she’s bunched up and falling asleep more quickly than anyone he’s ever seen fall asleep while on an airplane. It’s almost like magic.

“Alright, lad,” he bounces Henry up and down on his leg until he’s adjusted enough in his lap, “let’s see if we can find something colorful for you and me to watch while mummy sleeps.”

If you’d asked him five hours ago if he’d spend part of his flight watching cartoons and quietly singing nursery rhymes while he tickles a baby’s stomach and makes funny faces, he’d have said no. He’d have said bloody hell no, actually. But he’s somewhere over the Atlantic with a woman’s head resting on his shoulder as she sleeps (his heart rate is most definitely not beating at a normal pace anymore) while her child clings to his neck and is softly puttering against his skin, the both of them drooling onto his shirt. He doesn’t…mind it, actually. He kind of likes it, likes the fact that he’s helping out a kind soul simply because he can.

Plus, it keeps him busy, and the time seems to pass by much more quickly, and for the first time in his life while flying, he doesn’t actually want that.

Emma’s been out for about an hour and a half when the flight attendants start making their rounds for drinks, and he’s not sure if he should wake her or not to see if she wants a cup of coffee. He doesn’t get the chance, though, because the attendant is speaking to him before he even realizes it.

“Would you or your wife like a cup of coffee? Water? A soft drink?”

“Oh, um, she’s…I…she’s not – ”

“Coffee,” Emma mumbles beside him, picking her head up off of his shoulder before rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with her fists. He misses her warmth almost immediately. “I’ll take a cup of coffee.”

“How do you take it?”

“With as much cream and sugar as you have, please.”

“And you sir?”

“I’ll take it black.”

The attendant hands them their coffees in disposable travel mugs, something he appreciates it because it’s already easy to spill a cup of liquid on a plane when it’s just himself, but he cannot imagine what it would be like to drink one with an infant. When the attendant finally leaves, he looks over to Emma to see her practically inhaling her caffeine, the scalding heat of it seemingly not affecting her while he places his down on his tray to cool.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t correct her on you being my wife. I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just…I was startled, and it seems I forgot the English language. A bloody waste of thirty years of learning it if you ask me.”

Emma simply chuckles into her cup before placing her hand on his forearm and squeezing. Heat courses through his entire body, and he’s not sure if it’s from Emma’s touch or the fact that she was just holding the hot coffee and her hand is physically hot.

Both. It’s both.

“Don’t think anything of it. It’s easier not to correct than to try to explain. I had about fifteen people compliment my brother on his ‘adorable son.’ Henry looks nothing like David, but you put a man and a woman together with a kid and bam, they’re married.”

“Seems much less complicated than going to the courthouse for a license.”

“Yeah, but the nine month waiting period is a bitch.”

He barks out a laugh that not only causes everyone around them to look at him but for Henry to wake up as well, his eyes widening and frantically searching for something familiar until he finds Emma, his chubby little arms immediately reaching for her when he spots his mum.

“Hey, baby,” she coos, putting her coffee down on her tray before taking the lad out of his arms. “Were you good for our new friend? Yeah? I didn’t hear you cry once.” She turns to address him, worry suddenly in her eyes that causes them to widen. “He was good, right? Like, you’re not going to hate me for the rest of this flight for having a fussy kid and drooling on your shirt. Sorry about that by the way.”

“Think nothing of it, love. Your boy drooled on my other shoulder, so I’ve got two reminders of you to wash when I get home.”

“I never asked earlier. Are you…do you live in America or are you just visiting?”

“I live in Boston. Charlestown more specifically.”

“Dorchester,” Emma replies, a smile blooming on her face, and he can’t help but return it. “Maybe we’ll see you around if you’re up for people drooling on you some more…not that I drool often, just to clarify.”

“So it was a one time thing then?”

“Let’s go with that.”

Talking with Emma causes the flight to be over at an even quicker pace, and before he knows it, he, Emma, and Henry are heading toward baggage claim, Henry’s diaper bag over his shoulder and Henry on Emma’s hip.

“You don’t have to carry it, Killian.”

“It’s not a problem, love. It’s what a gentleman would do.”

“And you’re a gentleman?”

“Aye, I’m always a gentleman.”

His luggage comes first, and he goes to grab it while Emma points out her red suitcase for him as well, and he returns to she and Henry with two suitcases, a car seat, and what he hopes is a normal smile on his face because this woman and her son have him all flustered in a way that he hasn’t been in years.

“Would you, uh, would you like to share a ride home, love?”

Blush rises in her cheeks before she shakes her head no, and he tries not to be too disappointed in that. “My friend is picking us up, but thank you.”

He simply nods his acknowledgment, not knowing what else to say until Emma pulls her phone out of her pocket and types something out before thrusting the device in his face.

“You can put your number in there if you want. I figure if you can have a good time with me and Henry on a plane, imagine how well we’d get along when not so constrained.”

“Swimmingly. We’d get along swimmingly.”

He waits with her until her friend arrives in a bright yellow bug, and before she leaves, she presses up onto her toes and leaves a kiss against his cheek, her lips warm and soft against his skin. A shiver runs through his entire body, and he prays that Emma doesn’t notice the gooseflesh rising on his arms and the hair standing at attention on his neck.

“It was nice to meet you, Killian Jones. I’ll text you.”

And then she heads over to the car, setting up the car seat and buckling Henry inside before he hears her friend say “who’s the hottie and why isn’t he getting in the car with us?”. Heat rises in his cheeks while Emma throws her head back to laugh, her neck extending and her braided hair falling against her shoulder before she winks at him and they drive away, like a bright yellow dot in a sea of gray.

Unknown number: You want to get some coffee that’s not stale sometime? My driver has agreed to babysit.

Killian: Tell your driver that the “hottie” says he appreciates her for doing that. It’s a date, love.

The next time he flies to London, Emma’s sitting beside him with Henry in his own seat next to her. They booked their tickets together, and when the flight attendant asks him if his wife would like some coffee, he says yes without hesitation.