#also i already have concepts for sugar & salt but im thinking about waiting until their updates come out so i can use their sprites as ref

[blueberrymilkcookie]

i tweaked blueberrys design a bit and now 3 of my pre-corruption beasts are done :D i might edit their designs at a later date but im okay w/ what i have rn

[firstgeners]

trying to keep these resolutions

hi friends, it’s me your favorite wolf, coming out during a full moon *Shakira voice* a-OOOO. is it even a full moon? is mercury in reggaetton again? whatever, ya’ll know what I mean. a lot has been going on since my last post, so this is gonna be a long one. get ready ladies and gents. so, new job, new brother in law, another amazing Conscious Queens and I’m already starting my planning for 2019. let’s talk about this title real quick, real quick. resolutions in July instead of January? for why? 

 so fun fact, I consider my birthday as a new year, Samiah New Year was in May. and this is the year of the glo up. Or at least that’s what I’ve intended. And I don’t know what it is about this year, but my life clock struck 27 years and all ze fax went out the window.

 I’ve been working to become closer to my faith, and the concept of setting intentions has become more ingrained in me. In Islam, intention is almost everything. If you intend to do something good, there is a reward in that; if you actually fulfill that intention there’s another reward for that. If you intend to do something good, but the execution is basura, your intention will always save you. I’ve typed the word “intention” so many times in these last few sentences that it doesn’t even look like a word to me anymore. 

so let’s go back and talk about these resolutions. I wanna share what I’m actively working on in year 27 of this series of ridiculous events that make up Samiah. 

1.  Being brave enough to be unapologetically myself, and to stop trying to be perfect all the time.

Guys. this has been my favorite one. I have been my normal vocal, silly, annoying, stupid mistake making, randomly inquisitive, overbearingly loving self.  I live from my heart completely, this means that I occasionally make a damn fool out of myself but that's okay because I am free in my foolishness and fierce in my love. It’s been so freeing. like ripping off your bra after a long day. why the fuck did I wait so long? 

2. To give the most sincere love I can. 

to myself. my mother. the rest of my family. my friends. people I interact with everyday. if I find my person, then to him too. and I wanna talk about what sincere love means to me. it means to make sure Im communicating, being patient and kind, seeing and accepting the ugly, nurturing where I can, not trying to change anyone to what I think they should be. Being my best self.  and most importantly, accepting when someone reciprocates this sincerity, while letting go of those who take this precious love for granted. 

3.  Consistently learning more about my faith,  and practicing what I learn. 

This has been an ongoing one. But I set the intention to get my obligatory and optional prayers as part of my routine. I’m making efforts to read the Quran in English so I am understanding the stories and timelines better; honestly I feel an emotional bond to my holy book because of this. It truly is a book of transformation. I’m learning to listen, to accept, hasbunallah wanikmal wakil. I will say though, I feel myself being tested more, but am becoming more proud of my reactions. inshaAllah, to more growth, knowledge, and unconditional love. May Allah open our doors. 

4. To take care of my body and mind. 

My body is a temple, but I am the architect. this last Ramadan was so transformative. after so many years, I finally feel like myself. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m learning how to balance being giving, while also keeping my cup full. I’ve changed my diet so I’m consuming more of what my body needs and loves, not just sugar and grease and other things that are delicious, but dont need to be part of my everyday. I’m back in the gym regularly again, slowly getting stronger and it’s the bees knees I’ll tell ya. I cut down on the Netflix, and went back to my old habit of snuggling en la guarida de la loba with a good book and getting lost for hours. My current favorite is A Temporary Gift, but warning you will spend the first half of the book sobbing. Currently reading Big Magic, waiting on  The Unfinished Memoirs’ of Sheikh Mujibur Rahman to come back in stock cuz I needs to get my hands on it. 

5. Coming back to writing. 

This blog has been one of my favorite projects. I love connecting with you guys. I love hearing how you’re helping children in ICE detention centers reunite with their parents. I wanna help those working to rehabilitate human trafficking victims back to a normal everyday life. I want to spread awareness and support those raising money to help a friend afford their medical procedures. I wanna tell you about how I struggle to stand up for myself because I always fear I’ll be too rough and hurt someone else’s heart. Or how I struggle to let shit go, and to forgive. Or how I am proud of myself for working my ass off and getting myself so far in my career in a short amount of time. you guys are my tribe, ubuntu. 

6.  Stick to my traditions

I am a strong believer in weekly tea dates, pinky promises, and saying good morning/good night. I think the last one means the most to me. I know when I wake up in the morning, I am not guaranteed to be on this earth until the night. And when I go to sleep at night, I know it’s not guaranteed that I will wake up in the morning. Good mornings and good nights are my only guarantee that I’d at least leave the people I care for with 2 sweet words, and the memory of a sweet tradition. 

like I said a lot’s been happening. life is too fucking short to be anything less than happy. to settle for a career that doesnt set your passion ablaze. to hold onto a grudge when ya’ll could just forgive each other and move on. to stay stuck on someone that isn’t matching your vibration. to give up on something that you believe in to you core. take the negative shit with a grain of salt and focus on what makes you smile. and I know, this shit is easier said than done. but be strong and perseverant. focus. stay close to your pack. howl into the night when you need to.

let’s call these resolutions my intentions instead. hopefully I make it to year 28 with better intentions, and even better actions. May Allah open our doors. 

with love and respect always, 

samiah