#also i almost forgot i had a taglist lok

[mymegumi]

it’s not like you ever tried

pairing: futakuchi kenji x gn!reader

genre: angst

warnings: um sad? idk nothing other than futa being lowkey kinda a dick & the reader being rude?

you were just like a fly, really.

you flittered around him like he were the most interesting thing in the world, and sometimes the attention was nice. sometimes he just wanted to crush you between his thumb and pointer finger, stop your wings from fluttering and keep you away from him.

perhaps it was too harsh, really, to think of you as just an insect, but despite it all, he loved you. he thinks.

futakuchi isn’t really sure what love is, truthfully.

after his parents divorced, he’d never truly seen an example of healthy love. but when you had confessed to him, eyes soft in the afternoon light and hands outstretched with a tremble in the knuckles, he had felt like he could say yes to you.

and yet, is this what dating is? it’s not quite as exciting as he had imagined it, nor is it all that kamasaki had hyped it up to be, hands interlaced with a girl a year younger than the pair of them.

when he tells you he wants to break up, you put up no fight.

“what?” his face is pulled back in surprise, watching the way your shoulders stop turning, face half-hidden from him.

you raise an eyebrow at him, “what do you mean ‘what’?”

“i mean, you were so excited when you confessed,” he starts, eyebrows knitting together as his hand opens and closes again, grasping for something he can’t name, “why the lack of... response?”

you scoff, completely turning your back on him now, “what do you mean? you never put any effort in, futakuchi. it was unfair to say yes to my confession if you weren’t even going to try.”

and that’s where he thinks the breakup hurt him the most, because he did try.

he tried to be everything you had wanted him to be, had been the utmost gentleman if he had to describe it. sure, he had forgotten a few dates, or had barely remembered special occasions, but you weren’t perfect either. you were too needy, he reasoned with himself, too caught up in your ideals of a perfect first relationship.

he tells himself that he wasn’t truly in love with you, despite knowing that his own misgivings had thrown away something that could’ve been real.

t.list :: @nekomabvc @iwaizoom @lovekags @gellysticks @duhsies