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screamhole · 4 years ago

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MY DATE WITH DEATH: A TRUE MEMORY & STORY

Did I ever tell you about my date with Death? Well, it’s a pretty horrible day where I’m at, so what better way to kill it than by spinning up one of my famous stories? And let me tell you, this one spins like a Beyblade in Hell on acid!

Folks, let me tell you about the time I died, and all the fun I had along the way.

It all started in the bathroom, as so many classics do. I was brushing my teeth in the shower, as I am wont to do (note to reader: this means ‘as I want to do’; it looks dumb written out, but it’s actually smart as hell). Shower-brushing is a small time-saving trick of mine, which I never fail to apply on the daily. This day was no exception. I was all over those holy molars of mine when suddenly, I lost my footing on a bar of soap that I stand on (another of my time-saving manoeuvres) and I came tumbling down onto the slip mat. Slip is right, I thought, and would have made a note of that zinger had the toothbrush not become stuck in my windpipe. Choking, as I recall, I scrambled out of the tub and, knowing the house was empty because my wife Angie was at work, I rushed over to the neighbours’ apartment. Maybe they had air at their place, I thought. Sadly, I wasn’t quick enough; I was inches from their door when my body just couldn’t go anymore, and I collapsed on the landing floor. Luckily, I wasn’t naked; I had paused on the way to put on several pairs of pants.

So that was it. Dead. Me. Me = Dead. Except it wasn’t how I expected. I mean, I wasn’t seeing all-nothing, or even all-black. In fact, I got up and saw myself, lying there, all-dead-and-all-soapy. “Ghost!”, I said. And I was right. I was a ghost. A ghost who got to hang around and see it all, as it unfolded over the next few hours: the neighbours finding me, the two police officers standing over my stiff, sud-ridden corpse. “What do you think, Sarge?” said the young one. “Another shower-sex hallway suicide?” “Don’t be stupid, kid” said the sergeant. “This guy’s wearing pants. I think we can chalk it up to a classic toothbrush-in-the-neck life hack gone wrong.” “Good think I put on all those pants” I quipped, realising immediately that it was pointless because they couldn’t hear me. They couldn’t hear me! Damn, that was the deal, wasn’t it? You have to get all of the talking out of the way while you’re livin’. But there was so much I still needed to say about dyin’! This chin could be wagging forever, let me tell you. That’s some deal, huh? The one thing we all want to know about and here I am in the middle of it, with lips too stiff and dead to flap about it. How’s that for ass blastwards? So there I was, with a hell of a story to tell. And I knew there was only one person I’d be able to tell it to.

Whoopi Goldberg.

My grandma was dead. Is dead. She was dead, and now she is dead... again. Am I making sense here? She told me about the first time she died, back in the 90s. She was sucking on a Werther’s Original when it went down the wrong way and got stuck in her toaster and burned her house down. Lying on that hospital bed, she was legally dead for a good 27 minutes before they realised and resuscitated her (I think they were too busy watching some dumb Patrick Swayze movie on the communal television to notice). Thinking back, we all felt like she had gone crazy while she was dead, but now it seems there might have been some true-speak in all that wack-talk of hers. “If you ever die,” she once said to me as a kid, “If you die and you have to say something to a loved one, go to Whoopi Goldberg. I saw it. She helped me tell your grandfather he had soup on his good pants in the hospital, it was driving me crazy and was probably what set me off dying in the first place. I know it will work, son. If you need her, she’ll be there for you”. With those words in my ear, I packed a bag and headed out in search of Whoopi.

I made it to the airport, and was having trouble scanning my passport with no corporeal form, when out of nowhere the whole room grew dim. People froze in motion, and there was an icy chill which took over the whole space. And then, a small light, like from the end of a tunnel, grew from behind the baggage claim. A screeching whistle came with it, before a train of bones roared past my face. The brakes braked, and as the bones ground to a halt out stepped a cloaked figure from the carriage.

“Hello” he said. “You’re dead”.

“I’m dead?” I asked.

“You’re dead” he said. “And I’m Death.”

“You’re dead too?” I asked.

“That’s right, I am Death” he said.

“Me too” I said.

“I doubt it, kid” he said. “Anyway, sorry I’m late. There was some protest at Limbo station. All the staff walked out right after this demon... you know what? Not important. What is important is that you kicked your bucket. So hop on in, pup, next stop is your new forever home: Hell. OH. OH! That is, unless you want to play chess?”

I turned away from the stranger. “Sorry, I don’t play that game… not anymore, that is.” I was kind of hoping that he would dig into my deep dark past relationship with the game of kings.

“Suit yourself, friend” said Death. “Half the pieces are missing anyway. The one chess set on this hell train, you think these devil freaks are gonna put it back neatly? Fat chance. Anyhoodle, let’s get moving, up you come”.

“I’m really going to Hell?”

“Yeah” said Death. “Frickin’ Hell City, USA. And unless you wanna effin’ play chess, kid, I don’t wanna hear any more fuckin’ back talk. Hop the eff on”.

I couldn’t believe it. I had to escape; to re-live, and tell the tale of what death is like, and also what Death is like (note: make clear very handsome in second draft). A plan formed in my head, just like the plan to do a checkmate on the other guy forms in the head of a grand master chess player. “Oh, but Death,” I said “I really do want to play, but like you said we can’t play on that old set. It has no bishops”. “That’s how we like it in Hell,” said Death, “it’s really more of a drinking game. Anyway, I take your point, kid; this chess board sucks. But where do you suggest we find a decent travel chess set at this hour, in this realm of existence? You got one in your great coat?”

“No” I said. “But I think I have an idea. Let’s make a stop in… New York (maybe?)”

Luckily, my plan worked out. I had managed to guess Whoopi Goldberg’s exact location: a Starbucks on 6th Avenue (note: check real place). I had also tricked Death into taking us there on the promise there’d be chess, and also he wanted a coffee. The train of bones crunched through the coffee shop window, shattering the glass and grinding the tables beneath it. Thankfully, this all played out in the dead dimension so it was totally fine. No one noticed. No one, that is, except Whoopi.

“What the hell?!” she cried, jumping back from her table.

“Whoopi,” I said climbing down, from the bone train, “you’ve got to help me. I’m dead and I know for an absolute fact you can send messages to the living.”

“Oh I get it,” said Whoopi, “you think just because I played a medium in that movie that I can really talk to dead people?”

“Listen Whoopi, I’ve never even seen Sister Act, so please don’t assume I would be so irrational and quick to judge people like that. Instead of accusing me of stuff, how about you accept that you’re talking to a real ghost right now, and so therefore I am right.”

“Oh my God” said Whoopi. “I guess I can speak to ghosts. I guess all my years on The View have made me capable of speaking to anyone”.

“Yeah: you, Jimmy Kimmel, Graham Norton… all supremely cursed folks. Talk-show hosting is a real double-edged sword. Back to me, though. Whoopi: can you call my wife and tell her I loved her? Oh, and also I won’t be able to make it to our Saturday UNO game for obvious reasons. Oh, oh, and that the obvious reasons are that I’m going to Hell on the bone train with Death. Sorry, so much has happened today, I forget to bring people up to speed.”

“I guess I don’t have much of a choice” said Whoopi. She closed her script for Sister Act 3 and opened up Skype, making a call to the account details I gave her. The little jingle played before a familiar voice answered.

“Angie?” said Whoopi. “This is Whoopi Goldberg”

“And?” said my wife.

“Angie, I’m calling on behalf of your departed husband.”

“Oh my god,” Angie said. “What has he done now?”

“He’s dead, actually,” explained Whoopi, “choked on a toothbrush before you got home. The police must have taken him away but stopped for lunch, so they’ve not gotten a chance to let you know about it. He wants you to know that he loves you, Angie. You were the best thing in his life. Doesn’t sound like tough competition for a man who loved toothbrushes and chess, but all the same, he wanted you to know.”

“Cool, good to know” said Angie. “Hey, one second: does this mean that he’s talking with you right now?”

“Yeah,” said Whoopi “his spirit is here. Right now he’s looking at his hair in the window, even though he’s literally invisible.”

“Well, if he’s really there,” said Angie, “I’ll ask him something only he would know and that will prove ghosts are real. What’s my favourite colour?” “Shit…” I said. “Uh, I dunno, green maybe”.

“Uh, I dunno, green maybe” said Whoopi.

“Wow, that’s spooky”, said Angie. “It’s actually purple, but that idiot always thinks it’s green. He even painted the house green for our anniversary. What a dunce. Ok, cool, tell him no worries. If he can make it home tonight for UNO, great, but I’ll not be holding my breath.”

“Don’t worry, my wife,” I said. I have a plan”

“Don’t worry, his wife, he has a plan,” said Whoopi.

“I’ll definitely not wait up then. Thanks Whoopi. We loved you in Sister Act by the way” said Angie, and hung up.

“Ah, guess I have seen it,” I told Whoopi. “Well, thanks for your help. I guess there’s only one option left: I’m gonna have to kidnap and murder Death”.

“Why don’t you just beat him at chess and win your life back, like in that movie?” asked Whoopi.

“For the last time, Whoopi, I don’t remember Sister Act at all!” I said. “More to the point, I don’t play chess. Not after… that night.” I was kind of really hoping someone was gonna ask about the deep dark past thing. It’s not often I get to tell these stories.

“Suit yourself, kid” said Whoopi. “I guess you’re going to Hell, then”.

The bone train door slammed open.

“Ok kid,” said Death, “it’s been 50 minutes now. Do they have my mocha frapp or what? Are we gonna play chess now, or what? Honestly? I kind of feel like you’re using me for some kind of plot thing that’s going on for too long, and I just want to play some games to take my mind off the fact that my job sucks forever. You + Me = Hell, RIGHT NOW.”

Think fast, I thought, at a normal thought-speed. Suddenly, it hit me.

“Alright, Death. Time to play, for my very soul.”

“Sweet,” said Death.

“But not at chess.”

“Ah, Jeez!” Death groaned.

“No, I could never play chess again. It’s actually a really cool and dark story that I haven’t had a chance to tell, but maybe I could tell it if…” “Yeah, yeah, what’s the game, kid?” said Death, doing the wrap-up-the-story hand gesture with his bone-fingers.

I pulled a pack of cards from my great coat pocket (as in, the coat pocket is really great, it’s just a regular modern fashionable coat).

“UNO?!” cried Death. “Kid, you really are going to Hell.”

“Not if I can help it,” I said. “I was taught by the best: my wife. She made me the player I am today. And she takes no prisoners. So yes, Death. I’d wager my life on the back of her teaching”.

Death pulled up a table, and leaned his scythe against the coat rack.

“Whatever, dude. Just deal ‘em out.”

I played Death best of three. Best of three is right, I thought. More like the best three games of my life, let me tell you. They had to be, given what was at stake. We tied one-to-one. Death learned the game so fast, and he was soon a worthy competitor. It was down to the knuckle, which was unfair given his were so much more visible. We were down to two cards each, and it was his turn. I had to pull it out, but these last two cards were the worst I could have had. He slammed down a green 3.

“This is it, kid. This next card’s a ticket to Satan’s ass. STANDARD CLASS.”

I flipped a yellow 3.

“UNO,” I declared, “and guess what, Death? You were so busy sassing me, you forgot to say UNO yourself, so you have to PICK UP.”

Death shuddered realising his mistake.

“What?! No!” he cried. “Ah, fuck this game! Why couldn’t we have played Demon Party Drunk Chess anyway. Oh my god, these cards suuuuuck!”

The last card was one of those wild cards you can write on. “I’m done, Death. And my custom rule is that you have to give me my soul and my life back.”

“The game’s over kid. Also, I don’t think that’s a real rule you can make anyway. But a bet is a bet.” He waved his hand, doing cool Death magic or something. “Now get back to living before I do something I regret”.

I felt my spirit form fading as I regained my life inside my body. It looked kind of like that scene with Marty McFly in Back To The Future where he’s almost erased from existence.

“Wow,” I said. “This is just like that movie”.

“Yep.” said Death, walking away sulkily. “Just like Sister Act.”

“Thanks for everything” I said. “So long.”

“You know, it is a shame. I would have liked to play with you again. But I don’t have friends much anymore. Things have been a little tough since the whole… incident.”

“Suit yourself, kid" I said, vanishing into the air.

“Oh well I guess I could stop by now that you mention it, ok thanks, see you and your wife tonight at 8??”

Damn, I thought. My body had left that realm, but his words followed me. I guess it wouldn’t be the worst date I had in my life! I thought (man I gotta write these zingers down). “See you then, Death” I whispered, my voice going all ethereal. “See you then.”

I woke up in the ground, soil trickling onto a cheap coffin the cops had stuffed me in. Weeping, some folks were throwing handfulls of dirt into the hole where I was lying. I didn’t recognise them, I think they just wanted a day out at the graves. I bust through the lid of that thing like it was cardboard, and climbed out. “Come on guys” I said, pushing off the coffin lid. “You gotta throw more dirt on than that, I haven’t got all day. If you give me a shovel I’ll get it done much faster.” And I did. And when I was done filling my own grave, I walked home, knocked on my door, and was met by my beautiful Angie. “Boy, did I miss you” I said, shaking her hand in a friendly manner.

“You have soap in your hair” she said.

“I know. And soil in my shoes babe, it’s a weird combination. But there’s also love in my heart. And if you’ll have me, I am ready for UNO. Speaking of which, I may have invited a friend along…”

So there you have it. That’s how me and my wife Angie got ourselves a weekly dinner date with Death, of underworld fame. And you know what? It’s a lot of fun having him round. It can be hard to make friends as a couple, and he’s a good guy. Even though I sometimes worry a little too much about our fate beyond this lifetime, every time I hear that screechin’ bone-train a-comin’, I smile knowing it will all be ok. In fact, I think I hear it coming now…

…ok never mind, it was just my wife screamin’ at me again.

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cobalt-penguin · 4 years ago

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y’know what i’m still feeling annoyed and petty, plus i’m stuck inside and it’s storming out so why not type out a checklist of what everyone in TOW did to me.

since i am mean and manipulative, petty and pathetic, and so much more? why not bring up some old beef and give ya’ll something to eat.

Gansey: tried repeatedly to instigate drama -- if not actively break up -- my OC ships by encouraging -- through IC shenanigans -- cheating and lying. One of these happened while I was on vacation with my family and i still remember crying about it in a hotel bathroom because i thought one of my few ships in the RP was over and I hadn’t even been asked about it. This also included trying to get his OC Tomas to make IC/OOC (hey you can feign innocence when it’s in that dubiously OOC space, until its receptive in which case you can say it was IC the whole time!) at one of my ship partner’s OCs. Made repeated fat jokes at one of my fat characters (the same one they were clearly trying to get away from their partner...hmm...). Claimed I was always running to vague on my personal. Fair enough, I did, but they did the same thing. In poem form. Never answered my message about leaving the RP group because they felt ‘disrespected” by it. Repeatedly including untagged dubcon/noncon elements on the dashboard and triggering me. Lying to Ivy and me about having a full Overwatch party then trying to say “oh it just emptied you can join now”. hid this “FAR” idea from the rest of the RP community and then played coy when they got found out and asked about it by another anon (not me). Made fun of other RP groups in Tumblr tags then, when I asked them and their friends not to, was told “we’re a step above them.” Saying I was excluding them from things when I asked to play OW with them AND invited them to my horror RP group AND, only months beforehand, were inviting them to my Marvel RP??Trying to emotionally manipulate me through threatening to kill characters they had obviously grown tired of playing (probably because their major connections were to me and not their other friends) -- “haha i’m probably going to kill (my oc) idk but doesn’t that make you upset?? what will (your character) even do??” Engaging in nasty “”IC”” interactions with my character, basically telling me, through them, off, and being supported by the entire community in doing so. All of this really hurt me because I considered Gansey a friend and a major inspiration at one point in my life. Someone I non-jokingly looked up to and trusted. I feel like Gansey left TAR, our first RP group, because of how controlling, self-interested, petty, and mean-spirited the admins there were. That they were limiting other people’s creativity while building up their own narrative -- everyone else just there to be their audience. But you and Roman literally became Usa and Jen. Congrats. You lived long enough to become everything you’d rebelled against. And yes Gansey -- I saw all of your messages to everyone. Emotionally manipulating others -- telling them how terrible you are you don’t deserve their friendship, but would like to -- isn’t an apology. Its a tactic. Do better in the future. And despite me “blocking” you? There were a hundred ways to still reach out to me if that was what you really wanted. But let’s be real. It wasn’t. That was part of your gambit to. Goodbye.

Rosie: asked literally EVERYONE about what had happened with the ““TOW explosion”” except me. never even asked my side of the story. Rosie I don’t even get because the other admins treated her like shit -- making her do all the coding and technical components for the entire RP -- but she was still defending them to the end. Okay. And then to treat Shelly like utter SHIT even though Reyne was running her passive-aggressive mouth off about people who couldn't even defend themselves? Amazing. Yeah, she’s the bully. Your perspective was so twitested by your biases that you were ready to victim blame Shelly just because Reyne had to run at the sight of someone actually throwing their bulltshit back at them.

Reyne: Like Gansey, frequently indulged in cheating/cucking scnearios for fun -- again, including my own characters without asking or telling me. Don’t think Reyne ever apologized for this, IC or OOC. Dropped ships with me repeatedly -- leaving the group even -- without a word. Passive-aggressive to the max. Made a ship with Gansey just to play out her Teen Wolf OTP -- something that will never not be funny to me, when she called Gansey’s “character” Stiles. Smooth.

Frankii: Repeatedly dropped me and my characters from plots. Gave me one of the most hurtful comments of my RP community by essentially being like “maybe if your plots and characters weren’t so confusing than more people would want to RP with you.” Invited to join my horror RP group and never made a character. also told me this after Gansey wrote that enormous callout about me, that Roman piggybacked on while the getting was good: “also I'm not here to advocate on behalf of my friend but I really don't think Gansey was trying to be rude last night, they can come off a certain way when they're stressed.” COOL. The rest of Frankii’s message I really appreciated, at the time, but, surprise surprise, then despite us being “cool” they never spoke to me again.

Laura: I actually really liked Laura tbh but I guess she didn’t feel the same. Some of our interactions back in TAR were actually some of my favorites. I invited her to join my horror RP group and she never made a character. When I asked about this -- and if she needed any help making someone or wanted to leave -- she said she was working on it. Basically stonewalled me over time. Honestly though? Not a lot to say I actually think Laura is a good writer and pretty cool. Its just obvious who her friends were and I, stupidly, thought I was included in that.

Anna: Actually I really liked Anna too tbh but I guess I vastly overestimated our friendship? It happens. Dropped me from one of her plots -- after talking to me about including me in one of hers because she felt “obligated” basically, from being featured in my own -- without mentioning why or talking to me about it. Invited to join new RP -- refused (not mad about this, just making note of it). Refused to follow my new account when I lost my old one because “lol they’re such a furry”.

Roman: lmao where to even start. Roman was condescending and elitist literally from the beginning of TAR. barely acknowledged my existence until he had to.I started a plot with an open invitation to the entire RP group, with a deadline so I could start writing. Roman waits until its over and complains that they were left out. I include him anyway. Roman mocks the fact that I ask to tag or outright remove aphrodisiac dust -- because I don’t like seeing untagged dubcon/noncon on my dashboard, it upsets me a lot -- and then goes on a whole thread about it after I go to bed and can’t even defend myself. Apparently told his friends not to invite me to things because he doesn’t like me??? And then he has the nerve to be like communication is key and you can come talk anytime??? While having me on their public “friends” list with a description about me on his blog??? omfg...I literally can’t. To this day. Actually let this image speak for itself.

Everything Else: The repeated, childish treatment of strippers as immoral (””your character is stripping?? my character is so upset and is going to protect them!!”). The implication that characters who were stripping were also automatically sex workers. The continued references to my character, who owned this establishment, as being sleazy and manipulative. Also, honestly, what was with ya’ll adopting some random teenager into your OW groups? That was weird af. And then bringing some random person into TOW without asking anyone and trying to pull rank like “we’re the admin team and we can do whatever we want”. and shit-talking Meg and me in your “open forum” when all we wanted to do was get on with out lives. Like? Who cares? Ya’ll didn’t want me, at least, there anyway, clearly. You don’t get to exclude me then talk about how disrespectful and “wrong” the way I left was..........

Me: I didn’t do everything perfectly either. I know I could be passive-aggressive. I could be self-interested. I could make bitter comments. I dealt with feeling angry and upset by making memes -- which, I’m gonna be honest, I get why ya’ll were upset but I don’t regret either. I had spent so long in TAR/TOW with nobody interested in my characters and plots -- originally because I didn’t vid and played furries but, later, well.........see above -- that I did focus on my own narrative. I wasn’t invited to plots. I didn’t have sexy vampires and boy band werewolves. I played weird characters that didn’t fit the common niche of the cast of an angst and hookup filled supernatural YA novel. Maybe my plots were confusing but, honestly? It was because they were always going to be in the background. I wasn’t disinterested in anyone’s stories. I had just been left out of them for so long -- having to beg to even be a mention in a single mention -- that I had to make my own. I wasn’t there to just be an audience member to be aghast by Roman’s newest quirky boy or Gansey’s newest possessed twink. I was a writer. A member of the community. And, at the time? I thought a friend. Someone who deserved appreciation and respect.

I know who my true friends are now. We did, ironically, exactly what you did -- we have out own group, our own setting, our own community.

And I still live with the mean and manipulative things YALL said everyday. Even as an adult -- even with everything I’ve accomplished and am so proud of -- I’m still traumatized by being treated so poorly -- for years -- and not even realizing it. Something I’m still working on -- one of the many reasons I still have trust issues to this day. Congrats. That’s your legacy on me. aNYWAY

byeeeeeee

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Jac & Amelia

Jac: So, you got your room 🙌 What other wins did freshers bring you? 😄 Amelia: Yeah, thank god Amelia: it's been full on enough without adding travel sickness Jac: Never going to fly when class starts either Jac: it's just slightly more inventive than coming down with the 'flu' every Monday morning, but not enough Amelia: bit intense to start crashing on my new friends floors too, I don't want to be THAT gay Jac: 😂 Jac: I doubt they'd mind Jac: but having a base that isn't totally covered in crochet decor is a plus Amelia: now that freshers is over and they're going to 🤞 they never see those hook ups again maybe Amelia: still, not the first impression I'm trying to make Jac: Oh God, tell me about it Jac: I am not trying to have people I've got to avoid for the next 7 odd years Jac: not trying to make it like home like that Amelia: very relatable Amelia: even though I have no need to count that high Jac: Is your course 3? or 4? Amelia: depends if I want to go to Canada, Denmark, Italy, Poland, Sweden, USA or the UK for a year Jac: Oh wow Jac: 🦪 Amelia: that emoji is the gayest Amelia: so yeah probably Jac: Very O'Keefe of you Jac: can't give up the 🎨 quite yet? Amelia: 😂 Jac: I've met THE perfect girl for you, oh my GOD Amelia: because I'm going to travel to Edinburgh for 🦪 after dodging a 3 hour commute Jac: She's American, you could convince her Cork has a lot to offer beside 🦪 Jac: but actually, she is UNBEARABLE, and I'm trying very hard to be nice and give everyone a chance rn Jac: she does Art History, despite the fact she seems to know less about art than I do Jac: doesn't stop her 🔊 Amelia: 💔 you put your mean girl years behind you too soon, I'm SO proud though Amelia: and I'm sure Savannah appreciates it just as much Jac: 😏 I can feel the sincerity Jac: I know though, talk about completely crazy Amelia: if you want sincerity I can totally believe she'd follow you there as if nothing happened Amelia: are you okay? Jac: I think the prestige probably beat the off-chance I'd also be there but I appreciate the belief Jac: Yeah, actually, I am Jac: it went well, better than I could've or would've imagined before Amelia: alright, that's a relief Amelia: not that it's been playing on my mind or anything since the ✨ livened up my feed Jac: I would've got in touch sooner Jac: It did cross my mind, that you'd see Jac: I also didn't wanna encroach on your freshers' experience at all, that idea won out Jac: It must've been a shock for you and all Amelia: I get it, because likewise obviously Amelia: plus you seemed like you were coping, and it's not the same as before, you have people to go to now if you aren't so Amelia: I don't know, it seemed too dramatic to come at you all !!!!!! Amelia: which is why I didn't Jac: I wouldn't have bitten your head off Jac: but I see and appreciate that logic Jac: not to mention previous experience would say I actually would so Jac: She's changed a lot too, in those 2 years Amelia: good Jac: Yeah, turns out she had a pretty rough time of it too Jac: which, obviously, but I wasn't really in a space to think too much about that back then Amelia: was likely to be more 🥀 than 🌹 living with her dad, and everything that happened with her mum Amelia: I'm not surprised even if I couldn't be very sympathetic then Jac: I can't believe I was zoned out Jac: I didn't even know about her mum Amelia: you had loads of your own shit going on, it'd be more unbelievable if you were tuned into hers Amelia: I didn't know how bad it was, or didn't want to hear it, whichever Jac: Jess made it sound like the world and his wife knew Jac: I feel awful Jac: but her mum is doing better now, and they're trying to mend their relationship, so, that's positive Amelia: it always feels like that in my 🏠 but I would've told you if I'd realised Jac: It isn't your fault remotely Jac: like you said, sympathy about it wasn't at the forefront of your mind Jac: and you can't be blamed there Amelia: I'm genuinely glad things are getting better, the last thing she needs is to feel like shit for leaving her mum again if they aren't Jac: I know you are, you aren't a monster Jac: even if you and Savannah had your differences, and the obvious situation from there 'til now Amelia: that's enough sincerity though, the last thing I need is Savannah Moore trying to be my friend again Amelia: you can keep her Jac: 😂 Alright Jac: about that though Jac: things have changed, between us too Amelia: okay Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: Well, I told her, this time Jac: that I'm not straight Jac: and neither is she Amelia: she really has fucking changed Jac: She hasn't also come out, there's no label on it or anything Jac: but she likes me back Jac: you deserve to know, and would, regardless of where we were in our relationship Jac: I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear though Amelia: thanks, I guess Amelia: for not waiting for the 💍 announcement Jac: Things haven't moved quite that fast Jac: although, yeah Jac: I know Amelia: It's still Savannah, I doubt she's had a TOTAL personality transplant Amelia: you probably wouldn't like her if she had Amelia: so I'll keep an eye out for that post and put my congrats on it Jac: No, she's still her Jac: and I doubt her plans include a 💍 that could be bought on a student budget Amelia: true Amelia: I'll send some 💐 she'd NEVER put in the 🗑 Amelia: just the 💌 I'll actually bother to write, you know, like a normal person Jac: There goes the mystery Amelia: because of course you wouldn't recognise my handwriting Jac: I've checked your homework over enough times Jac: I doubt anyone else is rushing to send us a bouquet so Jac: process of elimination Amelia: there you go then Jac: but I have told my brother and that Jac: on the off-chance you catch him and he's dying not to bring it up Amelia: bit rude of him not to try and gently break the news Jac: Assumedly either thinking I've imagined the whole thing all over, or it'll all fizzle out before there's any need to go there Amelia: or I'm thriving so hard there's no need to bring me down 1 week in Jac: Obviously that too Jac: but you know that wasn't my intention, yeah Amelia: it's obvious you're not thinking about me, don't worry Jac: Okay Jac: do you want me to leave you now? Amelia: Why would I want that? Jac: Plenty of valid reasons Jac: to process, to not, you just don't feel like talking to me at this precise moment Amelia: what's to process? the bit about her not queerbaiting you the entire time is new, the rest isn't Jac: That's not nothing Jac: it changes the whole thing Amelia: not for me Jac: Alright then Amelia: you were hung up on her every second, what's changed for you is that was a least a bit mutual Amelia: I don't need to process any of that, it doesn't involve me Jac: It's still new information, that's all Amelia: not really Amelia: I probably should have guessed anyway Jac: If I didn't, I don't see how you could've Jac: she didn't even then so Amelia: too late to become a 🔮💎💫 gay, I hear you Jac: 🕵 is definitely a better idea Amelia: maybe I'd just really love to be able to say 'it's just a phase, mum' about something Jac: You've had plenty Amelia: name one Jac: [that boy band I said they liked lol] Jac: for starters Amelia: that wasn't a phase that was me lying that I cared Jac: yeah, okay Jac: you knew all the lyrics 'cos you cover was so deep Jac: no need to lie, they had some tunes Amelia: I knew all the lyrics because there was about 5 lines repeated over and over Jac: uh-huh Jac: you had badges all over your school bag Amelia: because you've never fully committed to a lie, oh wait Jac: There's no need to be a bitch Amelia: 😂 Jac: No, I'm not super ready to laugh about that time in my life, as it goes Amelia: okay Jac: I'm going to leave you to it now Jac: Good luck with your first proper day, hope it all goes well Amelia: actually wait though Amelia: I didn't mean that Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: Alright Jac: I know you're upset, or pissed off Jac: but being a better person doesn't extend to being a punching bag for you to get that out Jac: you can feel it, obviously, but that's just unproductive for you, and not gonna happen from my end Amelia: I know Jac: and I know that's what I did to you Jac: so it probably seems fair, or justified at least, that you get to now Jac: but it wasn't right, and an eye for an eye, you know Amelia: no, it's not fair, I wasn't being, that's why I'm sorry Jac: You don't need to stoop to my lowest Amelia: I'm trying, okay Jac: Yeah Jac: and I accept your apology Amelia: thanks Jac: should I not have told you? Amelia: I think that'd be worse Jac: I thought the same Jac: unless you were going to block me on the sly, then you would have seen Amelia: maybe I should now, I don't know Jac: If you want to Jac: to take some time Jac: or more permanently Jac: it's up to you Jac: obviously my offer of being friends still stands but I understand Jac: as I said, this changes things Amelia: yeah, if we let it Jac: You can't help how this makes you feel Amelia: but why should I let her take everything again? Jac: Savannah isn't actively doing that Jac: but if you want to keep trying, so do I Amelia: we worked hard at getting here, me and you, that's not about her Jac: True Jac: You don't have to be friends with her now, that's not it Jac: just accept that she's my girlfriend, and a big part of my life Amelia: does she know? Jac: About what happened between us? Jac: No Jac: she doesn't know a huge amount about those two years, for me Jac: I plan to tell her everything Jac: but it's a lot to throw at her in a sitting, especially unasked, you know Amelia: it'd really fuck with her freshers, for sure Jac: Right Jac: all for having the hard but necessary conversations Jac: but there's a time and a place Jac: I don't want her to feel like I'm trying to make her feel bad for me, either Jac: like 'look what YOU did' because nah Amelia: too 🥀🥀🥀 Amelia: it can wait, neither of you are going anywhere Jac: That's my logic Amelia: she'll get why you waited Jac: I hope so Amelia: come on, it'll be harder for you to say than it'll be for her to hear, she's a LOT of things, but she won't want you to go through that before you're ready to Jac: You're right Jac: it just feels like secrets, and that feels like 10 steps back Jac: but it isn't that Amelia: I'm sure even she hasn't had time to tell you everything, she'd need to be chatting non stop Jac: True Jac: if you're ever done talking about yourself and your life, that's gotta be a sign you need to get out more, right Jac: there's always more to say Amelia: right Amelia: stop being so virgo-ish about it and give yourself a break Jac: 😂 okay Jac: I just need lectures to actually start Jac: so I can freak out on that instead Amelia: same Jac: are you more 😁 or 😱 Amelia: 😕 Amelia: over 😣 Jac: You'll be fine Jac: let me know how it goes though Jac: I'm interested Amelia: okay 🤓 Jac: Well there's a lot of overlap Jac: obviously, you can usually do them as a double discipline but I wanted to go pure Psych Jac: doesn't mean I'm not 🤔 Amelia: yeah Jac: 🤏🤓 fine Amelia: we're not strangers Jac: I remember Jac: so, what are your new mates like then? Amelia: great, obviously Jac: It's a good thing you aren't taking English Jac: that description leaves a lot to be desired Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Isn't there anyone in particular? Amelia: there's a whole course full of people Jac: Yeah, I like one of my profs, he's really cool Jac: but I don't know anyone on my course that well yet either, they all seem nice enough though Amelia: of course you do Jac: it's so refreshing in comparison to the teachers at our school Jac: even if he acted like a base level human, it'd be a step up Jac: but he knows his stuff, and he's down to help me get ahead, what more could I want Amelia: literally nothing Jac: But I'm still not into dudes so I won't commit that cliche, don't worry Amelia: a real weight off my mind Jac: sure Amelia: 😏 Jac: I've already done loads of prep Jac: can basically chill in his class this whole term Amelia: you can but you won't Amelia: 🤓🏆⭐ Jac: we're not strangers Amelia: maybe we are 🤏 because reading's the only prep we were given but I've already done it Jac: Not really Jac: you just pretended you weren't 🤓 Amelia: no, I just actually wasn't 🤓 about school Jac: plenty of other things Jac: you can't hide the 🤓 Amelia: it's not 😳 I literally can Jac: not from me Amelia: that'd be 10 steps back Jac: try 10000 Amelia: no thank you, that sounds exhausting Jac: you've got a 🛏 Amelia: yeah, I don't know who's more thrilled, me or my dad Amelia: getting to pretend he's allergic to pets for another year at least Jac: result Jac: won't have to fake seduce him on your behalf either Jac: I'm most thrilled Amelia: Savannah is Amelia: undoubtedly Jac: Yeah, that ain't something I ever want to explain 😂 Amelia: she'd be less understanding about it Jac: None of us are understanding that Jac: sorry to your father Amelia: 😂 Jac: I think your mum would snap Jac: go full psycho Amelia: probably Amelia: they're very 😍🥰😘 right now Jac: that's nice Jac: bit gross but good Jac: she won't call you every 10 minutes Amelia: she can try but I won't answer Amelia: the friend I like best will be here soon Jac: Sounds promising Jac: I'll leave you to it for now, for real Jac: you better get ready Amelia: you're so Amelia: you Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: I don't need 👗👠💄 Jac: what's that, a humblebrag? Amelia: hardly Amelia: it's a compliment for you, you're cute for caring Jac: It's not cute, I just like to look nice Amelia: oh so you don't think I look nice? Amelia: rude Jac: everyone looks better for effort Jac: that's simple facts Amelia: anyway, I meant it's cute you care about my social life this much Jac: because I really need you being a loner to worry about Jac: no tah Jac: obviously I'm happy for you Amelia: you don't need to worry about me whatever happens Jac: It's not optional Amelia: okay Jac: I never stopped Amelia: you can stop now Jac: That's just what being friends is Amelia: I'm no expert Amelia: have to take your word for it, if anything Jac: I know you care about me too Amelia: but you're thriving so I don't have to worry Jac: I guess Jac: it's not just for the bad times though, is it Amelia: I hope not Jac: it's not Jac: come on Jac: pull yourself together and at least do 1 out of 3 👗👠💄 Amelia: fine, I'll put shoes on Jac: that's what I like to hear Amelia: 🙄 just because I'm ignoring my mum there's no need for you to take over from her Jac: I still can't do any handicrafts so unlikely Amelia: Savannah is unlikely to wear a homemade 🧣 so I think you're fine Jac: she loves anything thoughtful but I ain't gonna start there still Amelia: 💐 Jac: Naturally Jac: both our rooms look like a florist already Jac: makes up for the shabby walls and carpet you can't do much about Amelia: any time you'd like to fully lean into the 👵 I'll do you an embroidery hoop or something Amelia: very chic Jac: they do sell a lot of that sort of thing in the charity shops Jac: I'm sure your 🎨 will be better than whatever the actual 👵 decided to do 🖼 Amelia: SUCH a compliment, I have no idea how I'm not 😳 Jac: Charity shops are in Jac: I'm not going to call it thrifting, I'm not even half-American, wouldn't be able to take myself seriously Amelia: good, please don't Jac: vintage, upcycling, all acceptable Amelia: for my mother Amelia: I'll take how 'modern' my room here is Jac: I suppose that does make a change Jac: I love the buildings though, the architecture Amelia: 🎨 Amelia: yeah, would be inspiring if I had any time Jac: Is Cork by the coast? Jac: I know nothing about that area Jac: I'm like NEXT to the beach, it's incredible Amelia: it's one of the largest natural harbours in the world, if that doesn't make you want to come and visit me, well ?? Amelia: it has it's own lovely architecture Jac: You should work for the tourism board, honestly Jac: good speech, that Amelia: 🤷🏻 Amelia: I'm here for the 🤓 and you're already interested in that Jac: I'd go to Italy, if I were you Jac: but then, Denmark might have the most interesting criminal practices and laws, so that's a good choice too Amelia: you'll visit me there then, yeah? Jac: I forgot about Sweden, but those three are the real ones to consider Jac: and we can sort visiting when we're even a bit settled Amelia: okay Jac: we've only just left Amelia: thanks for that obvious reminder Jac: 😏 Jac: you know what I mean Jac: give me a chance to get my diary in order before you're saying I'm avoiding you or whatever Amelia: give you a chance to miss me, you mean Amelia: you've got one right now, because I have to go get ready Jac: Oh, if we had to wait for that, you'd never see me again �� Jac: have fun 👠👠 Amelia: 💔 Amelia: bye

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pettybkang · 6 years ago

Text

HESITATE

Group: GOT7.

Pairing: Y/N + Jackson Wang.

Genre: Fluff, comedy, romance.

Word count: 6k+

Description: Your best friend is getting married. Finally! But your only ride to her wedding is her noisy annoying older brother. So much can happen while driving from Vegas to LA.

Inspired by this gifset.

[4:30PM] Don’t hate me. -SW

[4:31PM] I can’t hate someone that is getting married two days from now. What happened? -Y/N [4:31PM] It’s about your ride to the wedding. -SW Only my brother’s car is left. -SW With my brother in it. -SW Your ride is with my brother. -SW

[4:36PM] I was wrong. I can hate someone that is getting married two days from now. -Y/N

[4:38PM] I promise I’m saving you two bottles of whatever you want? -SW

[4:39PM] Half hate then. -Y/N

As soon as the conversation was done, Y/N pretty much threw her phone in frustration. The only reason she wouldn’t simply punch her friend was because the girl really was getting married in two days and a black eye wouldn’t look pretty in her wedding photos. And Youngjae would yell at her. She’s not a big fan of Youngjae yelling at her. No one is a big fan of that anyway.

Sophie and Youngjae were about to get married after a couple years of dating and a lot of mental breakdowns about finally settling down with someone for the rest of their lives. They were getting married in Los Angeles, somewhere near the beach and pet friendly. Her dress was a lot of shades of lilac and his suit was explendid. Their friends and family were the ones invited to the wedding and around a hundred and fifty people would be attending.

Y/N was one of the bridesmaids, being friends with Sophie for ages now it was an obvious choice. The not so obvious choice was to pair up Y/N with Sophie’s brother, Jackson, as he was one of Youngjae’s best man. It made absolutely no sense to Y/N, she texted Sophie several times about it and all the girl could reply was ‘you’re both single! I’m sorry!’. It was such a poor excuse it fitted Sophie perfectly.

After months of planning, of stressing out and of eating so much cake, they would be getting married. In two days. And now Y/N found out her ride to the wedding was no one but Sophie’s loud older brother. Life of the party. Someone who would never in any circumstance let the party die. Jackson Wang. All Y/N knew was that she wasn’t ready for the four hour drive from Las Vegas to Los Angeles. She was dreading the day she moved to Vegas to work - the exact same city Jackson lives, also because of work.

[4:45PM] He should pick up you tomorrow at 10. -SW

[4:50PM] Your most expensive champagne. I want two bottles of that. -Y/N

[4:52PM] Yeah. I knew I had it coming. -SW

It was around 10:45am the next day and Jackson hadn’t come to pick her up yet. Y/N was all packed, sitting on the steps in front of her apartment building, sunglasses on, headphones on, waiting for the blond loud man to show up. She was going to murder the Wang siblings. Both of them. Don’t they understand the concept of being on time? At all? 10 am means 10 am.

She was about to start cursing their tenth generation of grandkids when a black Kia Quoris parked in front of her apartment building. The music was so loud Y/N would hear it through her own headphones. With a frown, she paused her own music and took the headphones out and that’s when she noticed the blond running out of the car, stopping right in front of her and swearing.

“Shit! I’m sorry I’m late. Did you wait long? I’m so sorry,” he was standing right in front of her as she tried to look up at him, the sun right behind his head wasn’t helping much. The fact that he was rambling wasn’t either. “I forgot half of my things at home. Then I had to pick them up. When I was done, Sophie asked for extra things. I swear, I hate my sister-”

“That’s something we can agree on,” she finally said, standing up and grabbing her bags, moving towards the car. Jackson was left with a confused face, staring at Y/N. “We both hate your sister right now,” she added when she noticed she had left Jackson without further explanation. He simply laughed, shaking his head and moving to help her get her bags inside of the car so they would leave Vegas.

When she got into the car, she noticed that it sure as hell looked expansive and for a second she couldn’t remember what Jackson did for a living. And then she did. Damn Wang family. Owners of half of the Chinese restaurants in the west side of the USA. Jackson was the cook in one of them, the one in Vegas, and Sophie was the one taking care of their marketing team that was settled in LA - no one could trust that girl in a kitchen, her mother would always tell Youngjae that they would have to live out of ramen. Y/N had moved to Vegas to work too, but in another restaurant. An Italian one. Just as big and expensive as Jackson’s if anyone is asking.

Even though the salaries were compatible, she didn’t have a car just as loud as his personality. How can someone have a car that matches one’s personality in noise and annoyance? She had no idea what song he was listening to, but it wasn’t English. And it was definitely a girl group.

“Okay. We’re all done,” he said, getting into the car and putting his own sunglasses on. “I’m only gonna stop at McDonald’s to grab a milkshake…” he said as he was starting the car, making Y/N groan and roll her eyes.

“We’re never getting to LA on time for the wedding.”

They made three other stops after the milkshake. Number one was because Jackson had forgotten his phone charger, number two was because he needed to stop at his restaurant to check something and number three was because it was so fucking late they stopped to have lunch.

Y/N had told him to just go through another drive thru if he was hungry and grab a burger, but apparently it was a Wang Family Tradition ™ to eat sushi before long road trips so they ended up stopping to eat some. At least Jackson begged to pay and the lost guilty puppy face he made had Y/N thinking about all the wrongs he had done so far and forgiving him for pretty much half of it.

Lunch wasn’t actually that bad. They received several texts from the couple getting married tomorrow, asking them where they were, how the trip was going and several things that they simply replied with ‘we’re still in Vegas’. Youngjae sent Jackson several texts about being on time and it wasn’t a big surprise when Sophie’s only reply was ‘k. drive safe!’

When they finally left Vegas, it was around 2PM. They were supposed to be getting to LA around 3PM that day, but it was obvious that they were going to be late. Youngjae had called all of their responsible friends - aka Jaebum and Jinyoung - to scold Jackson about not being on time, but all their calls were missed since the blond was driving and wasn’t a fan of putting his phone on speaker.

“Do you want me to change the music?” he finally asked after they had been in the car for half an hour, the girl group songs still playing. “You can connect your phone to the radio if you want,” he said and Y/N frowned because Jackson looked serious for a second, paying attention to the road in front of them, not humming to his songs as he had been while they were driving around in the city.

“I guess… Maybe something in English,” she said, going through her songs to find something that both of them could sing along to and while she was looking for it, she could hear the loud laugh coming from his side of the car.

“Shit,” he said softly, laughing some more. “I had no idea I was listening to Red Velvet again. Their songs are just so dancy though. It’s good to drive and listen to them, makes waking up in the morning way more fun,” he added, making Y/N laugh.

“As if. Happy songs in the morning are just annoying. You need fight songs to wake up, you know? Songs that make you feel like breaking everything. A wall especially,” she said, punching one of her hands with the other right after she had settled for a song from her own phone. It wasn’t a fight song and it wasn’t a happy song.

“Are we going to listen to four hours of emo?” Jackson said the moment the song started, making Y/N roll her eyes and simply groan. Loud. Loud enough for him to understand how frustrated she was.

“I knew I couldn’t trust you with good music.”

There isn’t much to do while you’re driving through the desert besides listening to music and talk. And Y/N refused to do the later. That was Sophie’s older brother she would have to do the talking to and honestly? She had no idea how someone could stand being in the same room as Jackson for more than two minutes. Sophie would always tell her that Jackson isn’t always like that - loud and outgoing - but she had never seen him quiet before.

I mean… Until now. She had never seen him quiet until now. He was driving calmly as if that was something he was meant to do, a talent even and for a second Y/N caught herself imagining him cooking. Being a chef herself, she knew some people changed when they were immersed in the kitchen and she wondered if Jackson was one of those people. Without thinking much about it, the question simply left her lips. “When did you decide to become a chef?”

She cursed herself for asking. The silence and the emo songs - according to Jackson - were pleasing and she could deal with them for the next hours, but no. She had to ask. She had to be curious and now Jackson would probably yell his answer back at her.

“Uh… I don’t know,” he started, still paying attention to the road. His voice quieter than usual, making Y/N frown. “My mom would always ask me to help her with dinner. She isn’t the healthiest person there is, so I would always help. Soph would too, but she isn’t as good. And when I say that I mean Youngjae will probably die of food poisoning if he ever eats something she has cooked,” he laughed. Y/N couldn’t believe her friend was such a horrible cook and Jackson noticed that in the silence. “I mean it, she’s horrible. But anyway… I used to cook with my mother all the time. Then when the opportunity came, we opened a small restaurant. Now we have a lot of big restaurants,” he shrugged.

“That simple, uh?” she said, raising an eyebrow and staring at him.

“It wasn’t that simple. It was pretty hard actually, but eh. The hardest part is over, it’s better to think about the future and what’s to come. I’m pretty sure Dumbledore told us to not waste time on the past,” he shrugged, smiling and glanced at her for a second.

“Did you just mention Harry Potter in a conversation about restaurants?”

“Maybe.”

“Unbelievable.”

The car fell silent for a moment and around them there was only the desert still. Y/N was starting to worry they wouldn’t be on time for the rehearsal dinner and Sophie would murder both of them for it. Even though the bride herself will probably not be on time.

“Hey. Honesty hour…” Jackson called and before Y/N could say anything or tell him to fuck off, he continued. “Do you think Youngjae and Soph are good together?”

The question caught Y/N out of guard. Was Jackson seriously worrying about his sister? Loud Jackson? Life of the party Jackson? Rich boy with a loud car Jackson? She sighed, closing her eyes and shrugging for a moment. “They are annoyingly perfect together,” she said, making him laugh. Her laugh followed, making the girl shake her head and roll her eyes. “Wasn’t he your friend though? I mean, she told me they met because of you.”

“Kinda. Youngjae and Jaebum are pretty much tied to the hip. And Jaebum is one of my best friends. So yeah. That happened. Now he’s marrying my sister,” he shrugged, looking at Y/N with a smile. A beautiful smile she had never paid much attention to, but what is there to pay attention when you’re stuck in a car, right? And damn. What a beautiful smile that was.

“Right. Well. Yeah…” she started, feeling her cheeks burn because of that damn smile, looking away towards the road. “If he hurts my friend, I’m blaming you.”

Jackson laughed, shaking his head and shrugging.

Sophie better have those two bottles of champagne ready. Y/N plans on drowning in them the moment they reach LA. And if her friend ever decides to marry ever again, she’s going to make her promise that she will pay for plane tickets so she doesn’t get stuck in the same car as beautiful smile Jackson ever again.

The second hour was over and they were half way through this hell of a road trip when both phones started ringing like crazy. The phones pretty much blew up with texts and calls and if someone was trying to send a smoke signal, the phones were trying to detect it.

When Y/N finally found Jackson’s phone, it was Youngjae’s number calling him while Sophie was calling on her phone. And with one look both knew to answer Youngjae first.

“Hello?” Y/N answered Jackson’s phone, ignoring her friend for a second, figuring she would be right next to her soon to be husband - who both Jackson and Y/N hoped would be much calmer about the fact that they were four hours late.

“Tell me you two are closer to LA than we think you are,” were the first words Youngjae said.

“Depends how close you think we are?”

“Thirty minutes from here?”

“Try two hours,” Y/N replied and the groan that came from the other side of the line was audible even for Jackson who was hearing from the driver’s seat.

“Sophie just realized Jackson is driving you here. And she’s used to Jackson being late but I don’t think she’s used to you being late?” and right when Y/N was about to reply, she could hear her friend pretty much yelling from the other side of the line with her husband. Being loud was definitely a Wang Family Tradition ™ too. “Please tell me he hasn’t kidnapped you and is taking you to China! Or worse, Canada!” were the first words Sophie said when she stole the phone from her soon to be husband.

“We left Nevada already if that makes you feel any better? We’re in California. Two hours away from Los Angeles. I think I saw a sign to Barstown,” Y/N tried to make her friend calm down a little. She definitely sounded like a bride now. When both her bridesmaid and best man were stuck in the highway.

“Put me on speaker,” Sophie said and when she got the confirmation that her brother could hear her, she started the speech. “Jackson Wang. If my friend doesn’t get here in less than three hours safe and sound for this damn rehearsal dinner I swear to all things holy that I’m sending both Jaebum and Bambam after you. I don’t know why I said Bambam instead of Jinyoung, but now I can’t change that,” she said, taking a deep breath to try and sound more threatening than before. “You were supposed to be here two hours ago! How can you be four hours late?! I understand when it’s Christmas because who cares about Christmas eve when the presents are given on Christmas morning, but a rehearsal dinner is a rehearsal dinner, Jackson. It’s important, do you hear me? Be here in three hours. Or I’m sending your friends to get you,” and before Jackson could say anything else, she hung up.

Y/N put her phone down. Stared at it for a couple seconds and then started laughing. And Jackson followed. He had to pull over because laughing that hard couldn’t be safe. After a couple minutes, both Y/N and Jackson were hurting because of how much both had laughed. “Shit. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her this angry with you before. She’s usually all ‘he isn’t that bad’ or ‘Jackson is sweeter than you think’ and now… Damn,” Y/N couldn’t stop laughing and neither could Jackson.

“I think she finally realized she’s getting married in less than twenty four hours. And we’re not there yet. She’s going to kill me so bad,” he added, biting on his lower lip to try and stop laughing so they could start driving towards Los Angeles again.

A few miles ahead and the third hour was done. And Y/N couldn’t help but think about Jackson’s laugh. And that this road trip - despite the horrible beginning - wasn’t that bad. They were having fun, laughing and talking about several things. Without meaning to, Y/N ended up getting to know Sophie’s brother a bit more than she wanted to. She got to know the Jackson Sophie would always talk about, the sweeter, quieter and more serious version of him - even though it was impossible for him to be serious for more than five minutes. In a few hours, when Sophie asks her how the trip was, she was obviously not going to say that being stuck in a car with Jackson Wang was actually nice. Even if that’s how she felt right now.

The last hour of driving to LA was filled with laugh and texts from every single friend they had in common. Even the Wang mother was texting them, worried not about Jackson being late but about Sophie getting into a car and coming to Y/N’s rescue from wherever they were. And to help them some more, there was traffic. The trip that was supposed to last four hours, lasted five. And Youngjae was about to send the army after them when Y/N texted Sophie a photo of LA’s welcome sign.

They were late. Very late. Extremely late. But still in time for the rehearsal dinner. The moment they parked in front of the place they were having the wedding the next day, Sophie ran towards her friend to hug her.

“Are you okay? Alive? Breathing? You’re never riding the same car as Jackson again. Never. Again,” she kept on saying as she pretty much dragged her friend by the arm inside the place.

“It wasn’t that bad…” Y/N started but the look she got from Sophie quickly stopped her from saying anything else. There was both anger and mischief in that look and Y/N had no way to interpret that right now. All they knew was that Soph would be married to Youngjae in less than twelve hours now and it was a miracle they were both still alive and not freaking out under a table.

Jackson had to deal with Youngjae who dragged him inside too but towards the bar. All the best men were waiting for him there, all their friends from childhood. Jaebum and Jinyoung looked both worried and angry, Yugyeom looked like he had just gotten there, Bambam was taking a selfie - let’s repeat that one more time, Bambam was taking a selfie - and Mark looked like he spent the entire afternoon laughing at everyone’s drama but was also about to jump Jackson’s neck in a second.

After a couple drinks from the boy’s side and a full bottle from the girl’s side, they left to the dinner. The food was good, their parents’ cried, the mothers hug each other and all the friends couldn’t stop feeling like tomorrow would be one of the happiest days of their lives. Youngjae wasn’t the first of them to get married, but when the ray of sunshine of the groups decides he’s going to spent the rest of his life with someone, you pay close attention.

The speeches weren’t rehearsed in front of the bride and the groom - especially because they had no idea there would be speeches. Jackson and Y/N had decided on the last hour in the car to write something together that night. Sophie and Youngjae had such a crazy funny story they thought sharing it was their gift to the world so later that night when everyone went to bed, Y/N sneaked into Jackson’s room in the hotel they were staying to the speech could be written.

They ordered a bottle of wine and two bottles of water. It wouldn’t be clever to show up late and hungover to Sophie’s wedding. She’s still Jackson’s sister and the grudge she would hold would last at least three generations, upsetting her even further wasn’t an option here. That’s one of the reasons they were writing a speech, reason number two was because after talking so much in the car they decided that they could do this together. They had more in common than they had thought. Writing a speech should be easy.

Jackson was in sweatpants and a black tank top, Y/N was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. It was spring in LA and that meant air conditioner was a must. They were both sitting on the floor, his laptop was open and they were brainstorming ideas. Should they talk about Youngjae’s laugh when he’s around Sophie? Should they talk about the smile on her face whenever Youngjae makes a stupid joke? Or should they talk about how the two met: at a freaking aquarium staring at otters? The wine was over, the bottles of water two and they had written exactly two lines and they went like this:

“We are all gathered here today to celebrate a wedding. Two of our closest and best friends are getting married to each other. Gross. Cute, but gross, right?”

They decided to delete those two lines before it was too late.

It didn’t take long for them to order another bottle of wine and for the conversation to go somewhere else. Soon Jackson was talking about his job as a chef and his life in Vegas, how weird it was to actually live in that city. They started sharing experiences, talking about their jobs, about Vegas, about how they ended up in that city anyway. When bottle number two was over they were laying down on the floor, side by side, computer on the bed and empty bottle on the table. They weren’t drunk, but tipsy was a word.

In a moment of pure drunk blindness, Y/N raised her hand and poked one of Jackson’s shoulders. He frowned, looking at her who was frowning and inspecting the shoulder quietly, concentrating and then poked again.

“How is this shoulder even possible?” she asked, still frowning.

“I might work out from time to time,” he said, moving his hand to poke her frown, laughing softly at her confused face. “You frown too much.”

“It’s because you are a very confusing person,” she shrugged, poking his arm now and then giving up, laying on her back and staring at the ceiling. She sighed, closing her eyes and started to feel the wine making her a bit drunker than before. “Besides, your sister is getting married in a couple hours.”

“So?” he laid on his side to look at her, waiting to see where that thought was leading them.

“You should be writing a speech. Because I can’t write one to save my life. I mean, I can tell her she has a very hot brother that happens to be quite nice when he’s stuck in a car and can’t do much yelling and that I would go on a date with him if he asked me to, but I don’t think that would be a very smart wedding speech now, would it?” she said, shrugging. The room became quiet for a second and then Jackson started laughing, shaking his head and laying down on his back again.

“Yeah. I don’t think I can tell my sister her friend isn’t as petty and pretentious as I thought she was in a wedding speech.”

Y/N sat up quickly, looking down at Jackson and frowning one more time. “You thought I was pretentious? And petty? Woah, woah. Bad Jackson Wang!” she pointed at him, shaking her head. She felt a bit dizzy because of the full bottle of wine, sighing and standing up.

“Sorry, alright. Here, lemme help you? I’ll be good Jackson Wang,” he chuckled. Y/N just shrugged and let him take her back to her room. They giggled all the way to the third floor, stumbling in the hall and trying to be quiet so they wouldn’t wake up the other people around them.

Jackson didn’t walk into the room with Y/N but the smile on his face showed he wasn’t sad about the drive and the talk. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “See you tomorrow. Have good dreams,” he pretty much whispered with his lips still touching her skin. Y/N nodded and walked into the room, waving goodbye. Did Jackson feel like floating on his way back to his room? Maybe. Did Y/N feel like she was sleeping on clouds that night? Also maybe.

Y/N didn’t expect it, but the moment she heard the phone the next morning she figured it was Sophie. Or at least her doing, because it was the hotel’s phone ringing. The receptionist on the other side of the line told her that the bride had asked him to wake up all the bridesmaids and the best men at nine that morning.

It was an afternoon wedding as it was expected of spring, but they had so much to do that it was obvious that Sophie had been up and running since five am. Their parents pretty much prohibited Youngjae and Sophie to sleep in the same bedroom the night before the wedding, so Y/N simply knew her friend had stayed up all night making last minute check ups and probably crying about her dress. And the wedding. And everything. She didn’t have much time to think about her night with Jackson though, but when it hit her she was in the elevator to get some breakfast.

Did she really tell him she wanted to go on a date with him? Who the hell does that? Drunk Y/N needs to be controlled. What a nice girl to be friends with, what a horrible girl when it comes to keeping her mouth shut about hot guys. At least she didn’t start a fight because of a soccer team this time. After a lot of frowning and groaning at the elevator - and the knowledge that the security team was probably watching her and laughing - Y/N made it to breakfast. That’s where she found Sophie.

The curly haired girl was sitting by herself in the corner. Y/N knew something was up because she was drinking coffee and Sophie doesn’t drink coffee. She made sure to grab her own breakfast first because she knew she wouldn’t be able to get up once she sat down.

“Sleep is necessary for everybody. Even for you,” was the first thing she sat when she sat down. Sophie looked up from her phone, shrugging a little and then sipping from the coffee cup.

“I had a couple hours of rest. My parents didn’t let me sleep in the same room as Youngjae but they didn’t say anything about Skype. We talked a lot and I was able to sleep. He also made me promise I wouldn’t yell at anybody today and we ended up settling for three people only. My brother, my mother and Bambam. Those are the people I’m allowed to yell at,” Sophie shrugged, chuckling a little and stealing a cookie from Y/N’s plate, shrugging one more time.

If only she wasn’t getting married today, Y/N would kill her for that cookie.

“Why am I not on the list? I’m usually yelled at in situations like this.”

“Jackson made the cut first. And because I want some information…” and then the same look from yesterday was back. The look that had some mischief hiding underneath. “How come the trip with Jackson wasn’t that bad, uh? You wanted to kill me for putting you two in the same car. Don’t think I didn’t notice you two laughing and giggling and all smiles,” she said, pointing at Y/N with her cup before taking another sip from it.

“I guess you were right about your brother…” Y/N tried, making Sophie laugh and shake her head. The bride could say what she wanted, she could say that she knew Y/N would fall for her brother at some point, she simply knew they were actually too similar. The ride to the wedding wasn’t a plan though, it simply happened because fate is weird as hell, but when it did… Sophie made sure to forget to buy plane tickets.

“I’m always right, you know that,” Sophie laughed and finished her coffee. She waited until Y/N was done with her breakfast, both girls catching up on gossip and laughing about a couple stories they had to tell each other. Once breakfast was over, they moved to the stressing part of the day: getting ready.

Youngjae was supposed to entertain the parents and take them for lunch. Jackson and all the other boys were supposed to help. Sophie, Y/N and all the other bridesmaids would be spending the day in a spa to get ready.

As Sophie’s dress was several shades of lavender, the bridesmaids were encouraged to find a dress that suited them best and in purple. Same thing with the tie and socks of the best men. The colours of the wedding were lavender and several shades of blue. It was gorgeous and the sun was shining and everything was going according to plan.

That doesn’t mean the bride wasn’t running around and late when the time for the wedding arrived. Jackson and Y/N were exchanging texts about the status of the groom and the bride. Sophie still didn’t have her make up done and Youngjae somehow managed to lose his tie. When Sophie was ready and getting inside the car, Youngjae was tying his shoes inside the venue already. Bambam got a call from the bride only so she could use her last yelling card of the day and yell at him for not giving her updates on Youngjae and her parents, the young boy did sound a bit confused when he gave the information to Youngjae a couple minutes later.

In the end, everything was beautiful. Sophie walked towards her soon to be husband by herself, no man needed to carry her to the sunshine of her life. (Her father was upset for a single moment when she told him, but then the explanation had him way too proud of her to care.) Jackson started crying the moment he saw his sister as if that was his cue and Y/N - who he had been paired up with - moved slightly closer to hold his hand, she figured she could after the kiss she had gotten the night before.

Jackson looked at her, frowning a little and when she thought he was actually going to move away, he pressed his lips against the back of her hand and smiled. His attention turning back to his sister as he continued to cry.

They exchanged vows and both were crying messes when they spoke. Sophie promising to take care of Coco and Youngjae promising to never stay away from home for more than a month - he is a singer, traveling is part of the job. She promised to stop being such a workaholic and he promised to never stop making her laugh. It was both soft and romantic. Yugyeom and Bambam called it gross later, but they were both lucky only Mark heard them.

Then came the kiss. Slow, tasting like tears, trying not to ruin the makeup, the hair, the suit, the dress, making them laugh at the end, making everyone cheer and making whoever it was that was crying, cry some more. Right after they broke apart, everyone who was near them ran for the hug - Jackson being the first to do so and pretty much smoother the couple in his arms. Y/N couldn’t help but smile at that man, so much love to give Jackson Wang was definitely a Jackson she wanted to see more of.

Five hours later, a couple bottles of champagne and the now husband and wife’s dance, they were all too drunk to care about high heels and ties. Food had been served, most people had forgotten about their shoes already, the cake had been cut and neither Sophie or Youngjae had had spare time to actually taste it. They had been dancing together and drinking together since the dance floor was available. Laughing and having fun as it had always been with those two.

Friends came and went away a lot, but the two were still dancing with everyone who felt like dancing and drinking with them. It was obvious they were each other’s best friends. Y/N and Jackson had found the perfect spot to sit for a wine: right next to the bar. The bridesmaids all had access to some secret drinks Sophie had chosen just for them and Y/N was thanking her friend for that. She had had everything from Sex on the Beach to Mimosas and even some crazy shots in the last three hours of party. And, of course, her two bottles of the most expensive champagne the bride owned.

“I’m free next Thursday,” Jackson said out of a sudden, making Y/N frown as he sipped from the bottle - yes, the bottle - of champagne she was drinking. “And you’re frowning again. I mean for that date. I’m free next Thursday.”

She had to think so she wouldn’t spill the drink or even choke on it. It took her a while to process the information, biting on her lower lip and feeling her cheeks burn. “Yeah, uh… I guess… I could be free on Thursday too. What about, uh, lunch?” she tried to sound like she wasn’t nervous, as if going on dates with guys such as Jackson Wang happened to her all the time. What a pro ™ she was when it came to dates, look at her.

“I know this Chinese restaurant-” he started and soon he felt a slap on his arm.

“You’re not taking me to have lunch in your restaurant!” she pretty much yelled, making Jackson look at her both surprised and amused. Yugyeom who was around turned to pay attention, which made Bambam turn too. Soon Jaebum and Jinyoung were also paying attention to their conversation. “And I’m not taking you to mine. It makes no sense!” Y/N continue, moving her arms after sipping from the bottle again. “You’re supposed to take me to neutral ground first. Like that Brazilian place on the main street. Are you Brazilian? No. Am I Brazilian? Also no. See? Neutral,” she sipped from the bottle again.

“Okay… So, uh,” Jackson said, rubbing his hand behind his neck, chuckling a little and stealing the bottle to take a sip himself. “Lemme start over. I know this Brazilian place on the main street… I heard it’s a good…”

“It’s horrible actually,” Y/N cut him, making everyone who was watching laugh. The pair still didn’t realize they were being watched. Mark had joined them now. “I think a hamburger would be a good idea.”

“Fine. I know a very good hamburger place…”

“If you say McDonald’s…”

“It’s not McDonald’s.”

“Deal. Pick me up at noon. You know where I work,” she said, stealing the bottle back. Now both Sophie and Youngjae had joined the crowd watching, laughing softly and loud as the pair usually would. Before Y/N could leave though, Jackson held her close by the wrist because who else but Jackson Wang would do that? And smiled. All the did was smile at her, bringing their faces close together. Y/N laughed - nope, she giggled - when she realized where his was heading.

Soon, they were kissing. And it was soft, gentle and messy like all drunk kisses are. It also didn’t last as long as it should have because the people watching started clapping, cheering and yelling as much as they usually would. Both Y/N and Jackson thought Sophie and Youngjae were doing something important, but when they turned around they saw pretty much all their friends clapping at them. Y/N gave them all the finger while Jackson started yelling and telling them to stop ruining his life.

Yep. Y/N could totally get used to Good Guy Jackson Wang.

Did you enjoy HESITATE? Let me know.

#got7 #jackson wang #got7 fanfiction #got7 fanfic #jackson fanfiction #jackson fanfic #got7 au!#jackson au!#jackson wang fanfiction #jackson wang fanfic #jackson wang au!

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racingtoaredlight · 5 years ago

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The degenerate’s guide to college football TV watch ‘em ups, 2019 season, week 1, part 3

Time to kick back and stop writing so much. I’ve earned it. I’m not going through all of my gambling advice to see if I did really awesome. Pretty sure Georgia Tech beat the spread against Clemson. Direct hit! So I am your guru.

Gambles with me and find the worst college football a viewer can find, I says. That’s the best way to live on a Saturday in the fall. Well, close enough.

What is there to say about this slate of games that hasn’t already been said? The schedules are per FBSchedules. The gambling infos are per Vegas Insider. If you lose money that’s on you. If you win money I’ve earned a commission. I’m just going ahead and taking this all the way through Monday because I’m already bored of this season.

Saturday, August 31

Matchup Time (ET) TV/Mobile

South Alabama at 24 Nebraska 12:00pm ESPN

Nebraska is ranked. USA is probably not the team to expose them but that’s a mistake. Scott Frost is going to have to rely on an even lower tier of Florida talent to win in a tougher conference. He’s got believers for now.

Indiana vs. Ball State (in Indianapolis, IN) 12:00pm CBSSN

Indiana is a 17 point favorite. Is that a typo?

Toledo at Kentucky 12:00pm SECN

There are way too many footballs for me to deal with right now. I’m just gonna start listing off winners and throwing out numbers that have nothing to do with betting lines. Kentucky by 4!

University of Mississippi at Memphis 12:00pm ABC

Memphis by 18!

Northern Iowa at 21 Iowa State 12:00pm FS1

I was wrong about David Montgomery! Sort of. I said he wouldn’t go as the first running back and wouldn’t go in the first round. Direct hits!

Indiana State at Kansas 12:00pm FSN

Oh, shit, here we go! I actually stopped to look this one up because of course I’m interested in Les Miles at Kansas. His presence has probably changed this from a pick ‘em to a -4.5 for Kansas. Plus: Kansas is favored! Minus: Indiana State has one good athlete in school history and he played basketball for them 40 years ago. And Kansas is only favored by 4.5.

Mississippi State vs. Louisiana (in New Orleans, LA) 12:00pm ESPNU

Never going to learn which directional LA school goes by Louisiana. Miss State by 1!

Howard at Maryland 12:00pm BTN

Talent usually wins out. Howard by 14.

Florida Atlantic at 5 Ohio State 12:00pm FOX

FAU by 35.

East Carolina at NC State 12:00pm ACCN

NC State by something.

Boise State at Florida State 12:00pm ESPNews

LOL - this was such a good game when it was scheduled. Who would have guessed that neither team would be ranked and it would air as an ACCNe alternate? Boise by 20.

Akron at Illinois 12:00pm BTN

Poor poor Illinois.

James Madison at West Virginia 2:00pm ATTSN

Not sure I’m ready for the next chapter of WFV football, tbch.

Rhode Island at Ohio 2:00pm ESPN+

Is ESPN+ considered a higher tier or lower tier than ESPNNews?

Bucknell at Temple 3:00pm ESPN3

Finally, the Manny Diaz Era kicks off for Temple football.

Eastern Washington at 13 Washington 3:00pm Pac-12N

Jacob Eason is going to get drafted over Jake Fromm. UDub by 58.

Eastern Michigan at Coastal Carolina 3:30pm ESPN+

CCU by 32. Book it.

Georgia State at Tennessee 3:30pm ESPNU

Tennessee still sucks. At least we all have that.

Holy Cross at Navy 3:30pm CBSSN

Navy has been destroyed by injuries the last couple of seasons but maybe they can get some good luck this year and get back to winning 10 and beating Notre Dame? Middies by 600 rushing yards.

ETSU at Appalachian State 3:30pm ESPN+

Appy State by 32.

South Carolina vs. North Carolina (in Charlotte, NC) 3:30pm ESPN

Mack Brown is back in Chapel Hill but there isn’t a lot of talent there. There’s a decent amount of talent at USCe but Coach Boom is still there. Sakerlina by 12.

Duke vs. 2 Alabama (in Atlanta, GA) 3:30pm ABC

Bammers by 64, Tua back in the good graces of Heisman voters.

Colgate at Air Force 3:30pm ESPN3

Toothpaste by 8.

Idaho at 15 Penn State 3:30pm BTN

Idaho self-relegated and rewarded themselves with a trip to Stepford. Penn State is going to win by 80.

Portland State at Arkansas 4:00pm SECN

Virginia Tech at Boston College 4:00pm ACCN

This might be two good teams. I’m not sure.

Northwestern at 25 Stanford 4:00pm FOX

I don’t think I can do any more of this. Let me check back in the morning to see if I want to update the rest of these.

IN THE MEANTIME ENJOY OUR HOLD MUSIC

youtube

CONTINUED!!!!!!

Montana State at Texas Tech 4:00pm FSN

Lubbock is less handsome this year but they could be better for it. Montana State by 3.

Campbell at Troy 6:00pm ESPN+

This is a huge rivalry between former frat brothers. Troy by 27.

Incarnate Word at UTSA 6:00pm ESPN3

Isn’t Incarnate Word working towards D-1A or some nonsense? The FKA Cokers are still ESPN3 material, which means they’re better than FSU and Boise State. UTSA by 33.

Sam Houston State at New Mexico 6:00pm MWN

New Mexico is only a 9 point favorite. That seems bad. Sam Houston State Houston Sams with the big upset here. 5 point win, 8-3.

22 Syracuse at Liberty 6:00pm ESPN+

I have no doubt in my mind that Bernie guy actually was a child molester but ESPN’s story was based on a guy saying they had sex when he was like 21 years old. I never understood that. Anyway, you absolutely hate to see Syracuse ranked in any sport. It’s an affront against god and man. Liberty is also an affront against god and man. But at least the Falwell’s pay their young male escorts exceptionally well. Liberty by 12.

UC Davis at California 6:30pm Pac-12N

Berkley vs. Davis. At least one of these starting QBs will be a mid-round prospect next year that some NFL fan base is forced to pretend they’re excited about.

VMI at Marshall 6:30pm Stadium

Marshall by 47.

Monmouth at Western Michigan 7:00pm ESPN3

Monmouth in a blowout, 14-13.

Stephen F. Austin at Baylor 7:00pm ESPN+

As much as I want the Six Million Dollar Men to beat the only athletic program as hateful as Sparty or Penn State, I don’t think they have the bionic powers to do it. Six million dollars isn’t really very much for a football player in Texas.

SMU at Arkansas State 7:00pm ESPN+

Oh, yeah, Arkansas State is the one that’s FBS-level, not Central Arkansas. Oh, well, nothing we can do about that now. Fade SMU and take the over. Whatever that may mean.

Norfolk State at Old Dominion 7:00pm ESPN3

Soon to be the state’s premier football rivalry, no doubt. The ODU #45s are the obvious favorite here. I bet they win by 22 points. So gamble accordingly.

Nicholls at Kansas State 7:00pm ESPN+

The excitement is palpable! Can Les Miles lead his gang of criminals to victory over the world’s premier screenwriting fellowship? YOU COULDN’T WRITE A BETTER UNDERDOG STORY THAN THAT!

Illinois State at NIU 7:00pm ESPN+

Fuck this game. NIU by 3 or so, I guess.

Alcorn State at Southern Miss 7:00pm ESPN+

25 years ago Air McNair II was leading Alcorn State and he should have won a Heisman and I have no other thoughts on this.

Abilene Christian at North Texas 7:30pm ESPN+

Go Spencer’s school! Beat the fucking Christians! I hate Christians!

16 Auburn vs. 11 Oregon (in Arlington, TX) 7:30pm ABC

Oh, this is why they were showing the “for all the Tostitos” game yesterday. Well, my gut tells me the War Eagle Tigers are a better team than the Ducks but that’s just SEC bias, to be honest. Patrick Nix’s kid starts as a true freshman which, if history serves, means he’ll ball out tonight, get progressively worse through the season, get benched at some point, then get humiliated when he comes back as the starter in a rivalry game (the rivalry game in all of college football tbch) and then he’ll show up somewhere else next year with immediate eligibility because he’s not moving for some frivolous reason like his mom is dying and his family’s going bankrupt.

3 Georgia at Vanderbilt 7:30pm ESPN

Vandy got the homefield for this one. Weird opener UGA. But a “tough” conference win in the early going is worth some #1 votes. Georgia by 84.

Georgia Southern at 6 LSU 7:30pm SECN

LSU has the best player in college football this year. Expect him to be injured either this week or next.

Miami (Ohio) at 20 Iowa 7:30pm FS1

Iowa has some shiny NFL prospect on their roster but I forget who it is. Is this where the ePenis plays? Whatever, this game is for the kids. Every Iowa home game is for the kids. Hawkeyes by 23.

Middle Tennessee at 7 Michigan 7:30pm BTN

I have an inexplicable fondness for Jim Harbaugh but I can’t deny the joy I would get from seeing the Wolverines crash and burn in week 1. That’s always fun for everybody.

Missouri at Wyoming 7:30pm CBSSN

Mizzourah by 46.

Virginia at Pitt 7:30pm ACCN

I could have sworn UVA was ranked. Guess not. Pitt is the pits (!!!) so the Hoos should dominate. Virginia by 6.

Louisiana Tech at 10 Texas 8:00pm LHN

Horns at #10 seems dangerous. That’s a bad idea, isn’t it? I’ve got Texas unranked until proven otherwise. And UT losing week 1 would be even funnier than Michigan doing it.

Grambling State at ULM 8:00pm ESPN3

So Monroe isn’t the one that goes by “Louisiana” now.

Houston Baptist at UTEP 8:00pm ESPN+

Oh, come on. This game does not need to exist. UTEP -17.5 is probably fine.

UAPB at TCU 8:00pm FSN

TCU is unranked so they’ll go undefeated this year. Arkansas-Pine Box is going to get buried by 50+.

Weber State at San Diego State 9:00pm Facebook

Oh, yeah, here comes the fun stuff. The dumb stuff. Let’s hear it for the Mountain West! What SDSU rusher will capture my heart this season?

Southern Utah at UNLV 10:00pm MWN

Last home opener at Sam Boyd Stadium, a place hated by all who ever visited it. I am not in that number yet but when it cools down I might feel compelled.

New Mexico State at 23 Washington State 10:00pm Pac-12N

The very heart of Pac after darkness. Mike Leach has a new QB. Now what? Wazzou will still score but they will probably go back to stopping nobody. A year further removed from Alex Grinch is not going to help.

Fresno State at USC 10:30pm ESPN

USC had a real solid opportunity to fire Clay Helton but didn’t because it would have been too expensive. Think about how stupid that is. Go (CS)FSU.

Sunday, September 1

Matchup Time (ET) TV/Mobile

Houston at 4 Oklahoma 7:30pm ABC

Holgo to Houston feels like a circle is being completed somehow. Will the ghost of Jack Pardee smile down on the Cougs? D’Eriq King could go a long way towards becoming a national name with any sort of highlights in this one and, remember, Oklahoma’s defense has been remarkably bad the last several seasons. The o/u for this game is 83! Houston plus the points, baby, do it!

Monday, September 2

Matchup Time (ET) TV/Mobile

9 Notre Dame at Louisville 8:00pm ESPN

Brian Kelly really got a kid killed and the university paid his way out of it and he’s still coaching there and they’ll probably win 10+ games again this year. What a terrible world we live in.

#football #college football #saturday post #watch em ups #degenerate football #half finished

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skullssales · 5 years ago

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L.A Meet & Greet With Mahafsoun + My Birthday !!! | Avelina De Moray

Hiya everyone Avelina De Moray right here welcome back to my channel! In these days it’s gonna be one other video i am just variety of gonna assist you to are aware of it’s been going down in my lifestyles and a bit of update about my upcoming American commute and just some other stuff that I rather did not think it used to be worth making an complete video for so i’m just form of like shoving the whole thing in here and you revel in okay so first things first me my husband Vaughn and these are my fine friend are heading to l. A. On the 14th of April which is let me assess present day date Wow so confidently this video might be on-line fairly a couple of days before that so we can be situated in Hollywood and one can be staying with us for a week and then he has to fly back residence to be right with the youngsters cuz they’ve in no way been without us so i’m slightly worried about how they are going to go together with that due to the fact that this so little you already know like metal’s 3 and a 1/2 London’s almost two it is gonna be scorching I mean they may be with my mum my mum and my dad so there used to be acquainted people but it’s nonetheless no longer the equal is it so yeah god bless Skype we will be utilising that a lot I suppose and having said that i have never been away from long the longest has been two days my pondering no clearly I inform a lie the longest used to be three days and that close to killed me I used to be on a meals and wine cruise with my mum and that i neglected him terribly we were up to now out at sea that theme the networks what i’ve been working so i couldn’t leave out a jam nothing I was relatively weird so as a minimum i will have my exceptional buddy Lisa with me and attending to the next subsequent pleasing information is that Maxine i am so excited to fulfill this attractive girl shall be becoming a member of us for I suppose it can be three days we have now obtained an incredible condo in Hollywood i’m relatively enthusiastic about that location we just observed it on Epping child nevertheless it’s rather it sticked out rather nicely it cost a little bit bit extra money but considering I need to movie plenty of videos at the same time i am there i’m adore it’s just conducive of creativity it is nice and crimson and it makes me need to get bought up and film some movies so my have seen is founded in Canada if you do not know that already and i designed the red bag that you will have obvious floating round on Instagram lately and the matching pockets for her so please go and investigate out her bag if you haven’t visible it already for little replace on pre-orders I suppose we’re on 15 for the pink purse which is relatively cool and i feel it is in regards to the equal for the wallets the pre-orders are coming in slowly but steadily and we can have got to get to in regards to the 70-seventy five mark so we are going to get there hopefully this weekend that we spend collectively will you realize enable us to drum up various advertising for the bag and sales and things like that so now we have made up our minds to do a meet-and-greet in Hollywood i’m personally rather anxious about this cuz i’m like dude i’m too small no one’s gonna quilt don’t be so embarrassed so i am gonna Collette them a 1/2 soon plus Evelina the next day opening quality so if anyone is placed in Hollywood and want to come and say hello we’re going to be Hollywood Boulevard we are meeting there at 12 o’clock lunch time on the 22nd of April if you are within the subject please come and say hi we’d love to fulfill you may have seen and i’ll submit extra details concerning the assembly excellent as we get towards it just to remind you of it so if you’re capable to return to that simply ensure you seem out for these men and women in case the time or place or whatever like that changes k the following factor I wish to chat about is my birthday it’s coming up very quickly while you get previous 30 you type of stopped counting so we don’t have got to comprehend 30 what just 30 low thirties early thirties anyway it’s my birthday could 28th i’ve began a desire record I i’m no longer like please send me things however i’ve been getting plenty of requests be it from YouTube subs on Instagram or simply emails and stuff and normally it is no longer even for me repeatedly men and women are like whats up I saw this adorable little horror shirt I need to send it to steal and i’m fairly taking it again when that happens you know in many instances it’s humorous however yeah i’ve been a bit of hesitant to like open up a box and try this however I do not know like why no longer you only reside after I’ve noticeable ash Costello do it and a few different women on Instagram I think it can be only a particularly high-quality solution to connect so again you don’t need to send me anything but in case you had been excited about it and you desired to and that makes you joyful and in turn makes me joyful through all method I’ve put together a want list of some matters that i have never yet purchased i do not precisely comprehend the way it works it is not the Amazon wishlist it enables you to add things from all exclusive internet sites which i feel is rather cool for the reason that i don’t personally use so i will link that down beneath which you could examine it out to peer what i have been ruling oh and that i do have a peer box I needed to open that on account that of my industry no longer so like receive items I simply wanted like a intelligent return tackle and Wow boring she that used to be getting out of manipulate assess that out if you need to i’m also serious about in the event that they have been adequate objects to unbox doing an specific video for youtube that would be cool if anything is distributed I undoubtedly will do an unboxing on Instagram like one hundred% and if i have enough items i would then you already know mix that into a YouTube video for you all cuz I suppose that is quite beautiful so that you can watch a fast replace on the Black Friday wallets i do know numerous you’ve gotten been getting edgy we’re accomplishing that point within the manufacturing where people are like where the fuck are they and the good news is is that by the time this video is online they may be often going to be finished my organization has instructed me April 14th or 13th they’re going to be shipped to me that doesn’t imply I obtain them folks that implies they are on the airplane and god no tell them that takes final time to acquire the Black Friday clutches it took three weeks for them to depart Hong Kong and get to me I have no idea fucking why once I paper specific it’s presupposed to be three to five days but we’ve got obtained to get them by way of customs and all these documents have to go backward and forward and stuff like that so by the time I return from la which is April 20 nights at the end of April I should have them well they will have to be very almost arriving so the good news there’s they’ll start to ship out early may now we have sold over 350 of them I’ve had five hundred made so if you wish to have one they’re nearly going to be in inventory they’re going to sell out so get one well which you can notably if you need that matching set of the hammock and the wallet which is simply glorious i have been using that every day it’s this kind of surreal feeling to have your favorite bag be some thing that you just designed it is really cool for the variant – Black Friday grasp i know a lot of you could have been waiting very patiently considering that sprayer hasn’t put her video on but I cannot the manufacturing on account that I have no idea how many orders were going to get so simply please be patient with me except that will get released she’s a little backlogged with movies you know being in New Zealand and then getting again to Germany if she appears to be getting on prime of that now with regular releases so i hope to peer the variation – seize liberate and the hair release relatively quickly which would be super and one among them will feature me due to the fact when she was in Sydney as you noticed 24,000 of you watched that video that was once tremendous oh yeah we did just a little video collectively so i’ll put that up someplace so that you could watch it if you haven’t already for the guys’s wallet I ultimately completed the design and earlier than i am going to america i will pay to have that sample began as good so i will simply get to mate instantly by the time I get back from the us once more i will frequently I might even get them to make that and send that sample wallet over with the females bullets and yeah ultimately i will to liberate products for you guys in view that i do know I get quite a few comments on my channel from guys and on Instagram and stuff like that they are like why are not you aiding the opposite gender and i additionally obtained the final samples for their as could la moths Hamburg i know a couple of of you’re really keen on that one that is the quilted patent one with the sort of stuff that is available in silver and gold anybody fascinated about that bag will need to be tremendous patient just considering as Mays profile he’s slightly bit smaller on YouTube she’s bought a enormous Instagram but she does not have that YouTube grants yet and neither do I stated we’re just gonna need need a little bit bit extra time to get that back available in the market good so she would not even have it yet so like what do we do so I consider that is the whole lot I received the whole thing off my chest that I wanted to I are not able to wait to come to the usa i’m dying for the Harry Potter ride i’m going to universal Studios 100% thanks considering watching please subscribe to my channel if you haven’t already hit that button down under when you do subscribe remember to press that bell see right here the notification of when I definitely do upload so you do not pass over it comment as always I revel in reading your whole feedback and did reply to quite a lot of them just lately it’s wow you guys wish to comment but that is good that helps my channel get higher so remark away i’ll see you within the subsequent video bye for now you

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#tee shirts men #skull leggings #biker gear

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yahoo-puck-daddy-blog · 8 years ago

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Hockey Day in America, the Calder race and the Panthers (Puck Daddy Countdown)

SUNRISE, FL – FEBRUARY 3: Jonathan Huberdeau #11 of the Florida Panthers heads out to the ice for warm ups prior to the start of their game against the Anaheim Ducks at the BB&T Center on February 3, 2017 in Sunrise, Florida. (Photo by Eliot J. Schechter/NHLI via Getty Images)

(In which Ryan Lambert takes a look at some of the biggest issues and stories in the NHL, and counts them down.)

7. Putting your foot down

Shout out to Brooks Laich, a player who has a $4.5 million AAV and six points in the AHL this season, who got put on waivers Tuesday because he wasn’t in the Toronto Maple Leafs’ plans and wants the chance to play for a contender.

A Stanley Cup contender.

Which, come on, man. It’s important to have a big drive to compete as a professional athlete. That much is obvious. But when that drive to compete is also, like, making a 33-year-old with six points in the AHL and a huge contract say things like, “I want to play for a competitive team,” well, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate. Put another way, when the lede in the story about your demand throws shade like, “Brooks Laich is convinced his NHL career isn’t over yet,” that’s pretty indicative of your situation being not-good for you.

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Even if you could add a player with Laich’s contract — and not all true Cup competitors can — why would you do that? He’s not going to help you, full stop. He clearly won’t even help your AHL team. So why entertain this?

The Leafs did the right thing. Put him on waivers, make it known he’s available. “Hey bud, we tried, you know?” Laich can’t ask them to do more than that. But it’s not like there’s going to be a line around the block. There’s probably not going to be a line at all. Hell, the one team that employs him doesn’t want him that badly.

On the other hand, a lot of teams like Grit and Leadership, so I guess you never know. The Leafs are too smart to give him that kind of role. Maybe someone isn’t too smart for that. It’s the NHL, after all.

6. Minor trades

Yeah sure it’s officially trade season. Hooray hooray. But so far we’ve got two prospects who are really only notable because of who their dads are, and a just-okay defenseman for a third-round pick. No one is going to be satisfied with this. Not even the teams that made those trades.

How thirsty is the hockey world in general for an even somewhat notable trade? Radko Gudas brought some sticks home and Twitter lost its mind for an hour. Uncle Bob had to come in and come everyone down. It was wild.

Meanwhile the NBA has a team trading one of the 20 best players in the league for Buddy Hield and a middling first-round pick, then another team’s owner firing the GM and her own brother to install Magic freaking Johnson as the new GM. How do we as a sport achieve such everyday excellence?

5. Hockey Day In America

Wysh wrote about this Monday, the whole thing with Hockey Day In America being a pale, diminished version of Hockey Day In Canada — which was the freakin’ day before, so we didn’t even have to harken back to a month before to remember how much better the OG Hockey Day is.

But like, man, this is the “Why isn’t there a White History Month?” of Hockey Days, right? Almost every day is Hockey Day In America, and we don’t need six hours of Pierre McGuire to remind us.

Hockey Day In Canada is always from some little town in Saskatchewan no one has ever heard of, and it feels like an amazing thing to bring the big lights of Sportsnet to these little hamlets that need a new rink.

Meanwhile, Hockey Day is just six hours of, “Warroad, Minnesota, ever heard of that?” Yeah, I have. A lot. Because I am a hockey fan living in the United States. There’s a lot of mythologizing about Minnesota hockey in particular in the U.S.

Hockey Day in Canada was in Kenora, Ontario, this year. Who’s from Kenora? Mike Richards. Anyone else? Not that I can think of. Warroad is where T.J. Oshie is from, as well as the Christian family that won the Olympic gold medals USA Hockey won’t shut up about. Pay the slightest attention and you will hear this again and again on American broadcasts.

Hockey Day in America needs to not be on the same weekend as Hockey Day in Canada, broaden its focus, or just not exist. Literally any of those options would be preferable to what we have now.

4. It would be this mat that you would put on the floor, and would have different conclusions written on it that you could jump to.

Gotta love the hockey media sometimes.

Claude Julien loses his first game back in Montreal and people are trying to make pronouncements. Oh uh yeah they lost but Carey Price looks a lot better! I dunno about all that.

Same with the guy who replaced Julien in Boston: Bruce Cassidy has the Bruins on a big ol’ winning streak. It’s probably gonna last forever, and this is evidence they needed a new voice. Yeah, that’s it. For sure.

3. The Calder race

I think if I had a vote I would be leaning Matthews right now, but it’s hard to argue that neither Laine nor Marner deserve consideration. Any one of them winning the award would be perfectly understandable and deserved, but Matthews being a No. 1 center with impressive possession numbers and much more sustainable-looking stats is the reason to vote for him.

Anyway, I don’t get the outrage or the controversy. Whatever, they’re all great. And this isn’t a “Everyone gets a trophy” thing. You’ve seen me get plenty worked up about dumbass awards voting. But for real, they all deserve some amount of recognition. If all current patterns hold — and they won’t, by the way — then whatever Q-list actor opens the Calder envelope at the NHL Awards in June and says literally any name, my reaction will be, “Well, tough to argue that.”

The PHWA rightly gets a lot of stick from fans, but this is a hard one to screw up because of a plethora of options, rather than the usual situation: there’s one clear winner that a bunch of people don’t vote for because they don’t understand the sport. Pick any one of these three guys (and for-sure not Zach Werenski) and you’re good. Whatever.

2. Bonus overages

How about this one, folks:

https://twitter.com/CapFriendly/status/834081377054232576

Damn. That’s brilliant. Not only do the Coyotes reap benefits for taking on all these bad contracts and retaining salary when they move guys in exchange for a few draft picks and prospects, they also go over the cap ceiling, meaning they don’t have to spend money next season either.

That’s next-level tanking. This Chayka kid is like five steps ahead of the curve.

1. The Panthers

Okay let’s not all whip our heads around at once, but have a peak at those Atlantic Division standings.

The Very Bad Florida Panthers Who Fired Their Nice Coach Who Was A Good Hockey Man And Marginalized Their GM Who Is Another Good Hockey Man And No One Knows Who’s In Charge And Isn’t That So Bad For Them are currently third in the division after winning eight of their last nine. They have the same number of points as the Bruins with one fewer game played.

Turns out getting really good players back from injury is a thing that helps you win. Turns out trusting the process put in place by a bunch of smart people who understand the game in a different but equally-if-not-more effective way than the old school guys is gonna give you a good return or three in the long run. Pretty crazy.

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Are the Panthers great? Nope. Are they going to reach their point total from last year? Almost certainly not. Are they trending in the right direction? You bet. Is that what’s really important here for a team with a healthy mix of effective players both young and old (and also very very old)? Hmm, seems like yeah.

Far be it for me to put too much stock in a team winning eight out of nine games but the Panthers were never as bad as they were to start the year, nor are they as good as all this. But if being the third-best team in that division three-quarters of the way through the season seems reasonable, that’s because it is. And always was. No matter what else happened this year. Weird. Wild.

(Not ranked this week: Telling your six fans what to do.

I just don’t get stuff like this:

https://twitter.com/ArizonaCoyotes/status/833896728826830848

Like, the Coyotes have negative-a-thousand fans. How does scolding any of the hapless unfortuantes who stumbled confused into a Coyotes home game accomplish anything? Well, I guess I’m talking about the Coyotes, aren’t I? Damn. They’re good.)

Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

(All statistics via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)