#also how do you tag on tumblr this is my first proper post in 4 years of having an account before I deleted it and made a new one

[kazbrekkerfast]

I chose 1 song each day that reflected my mental state/that I had listened to that day so here is January in Songs

1st: Perfume by Lovejoy

2nd: Common People by Pulp

3rd: Haunt me x3 by Teen Suicide

4th: A tv show called earth by Philip Labes

5th: Another Love by Tom Odell

6th: Take 5 by the Dave Brubeck quartet

7th: Also Sprach Zarathustra by Richard Strauss

8th: My Type by Saint Motel

9th: Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths

10th: Fine by Lemon Demon

11th: No Time to Explain by Good Kid

12th: Open Arms from the EPIC album

13th: I’m Doing Push Ups by Bears in Trees

14th: Africa by Toto

15th: Another One Bites the Dust by Queen

16th: Ode to Crayola by Lemon Demon

17th: Noel’s Lament from Ride the Cyclone The Musical

18th: Anniversary by Autoheart

19th: Lovely Day by Bill Withers

20th: Hidden in the Sand by Tally Hall

21st: Remember you Omnichord by Trillian

22nd: Drift Away Omnichord by Trillian

23rd: Lovely Day/Good as Hell by Pomplamousse

24th: Claire de lune by Debussy

25th: 6/10 by dodie

26th: Tell me something by Good Kid

27th: Can���t Pretend by Tom Odell

28th: Car Lights by James Marriott

29th: Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales by Car Seat Headrest

30th: Soldier Poet King by The Oh Hellos

31st: It’s only Sec by Car Seat Headrest

[medievalandfantasymelee]

COME ONE, COME ALL to the MOSTE ILLUSTRIOUS TOURNAMENT of the FINEST, the MOSTE PUISSANT and HOTTEST MEN MEDIEVAL MEDIA HAS TO ITS CREDIT.

Our Noble and Worthy contenders have come from 128 Properties throughout the land and stand numbered at 296, out of some 400 submissions.

A complete list of our Noble and Worthy Contenders may be found here.

A summary of The Qualifying Round Matchups may be found here

THE TOURNEY IS UNDERWAY!!!!

Our contest began with a Qualifying Round, which consisted of 148 matchups. The Qualifying Round did not follow any kind of bracket or draw, however beginning with Round 1, every subsequent round will.

The Second Round of Competition has commenced!

This round shall last five days and consist of seven Tilts (polls) per day of competition posted at ten minute intervals beginning at 4:00 PM by the reckoning of Eastern Standard Time.

A complete list of Matchups in this round may be found here, updating daily.

A masterpost with links to all rounds of the competition (current and previous) may be found HERE.

We have also completed voting for the second round of the Queen of Love and Beauty Mini Tournament. The Queen of Love and Beauty holds the honour of presenting unto the winner of the Tournament his Champion's coronet. It is a mini-bracket capped at 72 contenders. Polls for the Queen of Love and Beauty will be posted prior to the commencement of each round of the Tournament proper until a Queen is chosen.

Oft Asked Questions

“Who is this ‘Master of Revels’?”: T’would be I, your servant. Humble host and facilitator of this fair contest.

“Isn’t this a medieval tournament? Why are there Tudors/Borgias here?”: The Medieval Period is generally agreed by historians to span the years AD. 500 to AD 1500. However, the Renaissance period is a little fuzzier. The Renaissance was not only a period of history, but a cultural movement that kicked in earlier in some places than in others. One looks at Cesare Borgia and can immediately identify him as belonging to the Italian Renaissance. However, you look at the span of his life and it does fall within the late 1400’s—so still what is commonly considered the Medieval period. The Renaissance was a period of transition, so clean cutoffs aren’t always easy to reconcile. Vestiges of Medieval sentiment persisted in England up to the reign of Henry VIII, and it’s for this reason I chose to stretch the definition of “Medieval” for the purposes of the tournament to include the period of Henry VIII’s reign (because English history is what I’m most familiar with.)

“Wait! My Medieval Hot Man isn’t here! Can I still submit him?”: First we advise you to check to make sure that your man isn’t here. It's linked above too, but here is a complete list of our 296 contenders. If he’s not there, then sadly he was not submitted and, as the Tourney is underway, he cannot be submitted now.

“Why is Blank here, he’s not medieval!/Why isn’t Blank here he is medieval!”: The definition of a “Medieval Man” for the purposes of our tournament is “Any male character in a piece of live action visual media in which the Primary Action takes place between the years of AD 500 and AD 1550 (or a Fantasy property that emulates that period).” We define Primary Action as “at least one half-hour of a film, or three episodes (or the equivalent time) of a TV series. (Unless it is an adventure-of-the-week style show in which one episode’s story is set in the medieval period, as in the case of Doctor Who: “The Robot of Sherwood”).

“I have propaganda I would like to submit – how should I do that?”: If you are submitting text propaganda or pictures, send us an Ask. If you have a YouTube video link, you can send that in Ask form also and we will embed the video in the answer. If you have gifsets, meta or other posts here on Tumblr that you think are good propaganda, tag us (@medievalandfantasymelee) and we will reblog it. If you send us links to the post in an ask, we will reblog the post you’ve linked and tag you (unless submitted anonymously), but the ask will be deleted, largely to keep the feed streamlined.

“What makes for good text propaganda?”: Simply tell us why you think your character is hot. You may praise his physical attributes, his chivalry (or villainy), personal qualities such as valour or intellect – anything that you feel exemplifies his hotness. Please do not submit fanfiction as text propaganda.

An addendum to the above: Please remember that we are voting for the characters not the actors, so propaganda about personality and personal qualities should be centred on the character, not on the actor (but you can praise the actor’s physical hotness in the role all you like). Accolades won by the actor for the role are welcome. Anecdotes about the actor’s portrayal are also welcome, but anecdotes about the actors’ lives that do not relate to their portrayal of the characters or work on the properties are not admissible propaganda. 

“What makes for good visual propaganda?”: Any picture/gif/video of the character that you think he looks especially hot in is good visual propaganda. Please do not copy and paste gifs off of tumblr unless you have the express permission of the original poster to do so. If there’s a gif or gifset here on tumblr that you want to send as propaganda, tag us in it (@medievalandfantasymelee) and we will reblog it. Please do not submit fan-art as propaganda (official paintings such as those done for vintage movie posters are acceptable, though).

“Can I submit counter-propaganda?”: We will not accept any propaganda that openly trashes a contestant or the actor that plays him. However, we do not discourage Comparative Propaganda – that is to say, propaganda weighing the qualities of a contender and his opponent against each other in a respectful manner.

“Why is HE here, he’s committed atrocities?!”: We are not here to judge the morality of a character, only his hotness. Whatever atrocities (and we mean “whatever” – side-glance at Ramsay Bolton) the character has committed do not prevent him from competing in the Tournament. If his crimes impact his hotness to you, then feel free to vote for his opponent (and if his opponent has committed atrocities as well, then, I guess feel free to skip that poll entirely.) If you think a contestant has committed atrocities but aren't absolutely certain, please don't talk about it in reblogs or in the comments on a poll, lest a hazy memory unfairly sway the voting public. (But atrocities you know for certain he's committed may be discussed freely - that's just an aspect of the character.)

“What is the Near Misses Pile/Tourney?”: The Near Misses Pile is what I’ve christened a small heap of characters who were submitted but who failed to qualify. The Near Misses Tourney was a mini-bracket held in the week leading up to the main tournament in which all 21 non-qualifiers were pitted against each other to determine who was the hottest reject. Kala Bhairava [Ram Charan] from Magadheera (2009) won that worthless honor.

“I have Hot Romans and Musketeers I’d like to see compete!”: Hold that thought. After the Hot Medieval and Fantasy Men Melee concludes, a new tournament will be held for another time period. Either we will host a Hot Men of Antiquity Tournament (which will accept male characters from any movie or TV show property set before AD 500), or a Hot Renaissance Men Tournament (which will accept men from any property set between AD 1480 and AD 1640. Which will be held first will be determined by popular vote. (In the meantime all ye Musketeer enthusiasts can get your fix over at @hotmusketeerspoll )

"Will there be a Hot Medieval Ladies Tournament?": It's unlikely in the foreseeable future, because we already have two full Men's tournaments planned following the conclusion of the Medieval Men Melee. (See above)

“My question isn’t here/I’m confused about something.”: Send me an ask!

All propaganda is submitted by the voters and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Master of Revels or The Hot Medieval & Fantasy Men Melee

ADDITIONAL NOTE: I do not choose the pictures featured in the propaganda sections, and I only use pictures submitted by voters. If you think that a contender you support is poorly represented, it is not my fault and it is up to you to change that. It is not my job to choose propaganda of any kind for the Contenders and I only work with what I have been given.

[harukamitsuki]

Okay... I am currently back on my Voltron bullshit and continuing my rewrite of Voltron. And I'm constantly reminding of HOW MUCH I HATE LANCE.

Don't get me wrong. I am still treating Lance fairly in my fic, making sure he gets screen-time and a proper character acr and stuff.

But by GODS. This man pisses me off so much and that's only made worse by his stans. I was scrolling through Keith's tag here on tumblr. I also have Kl@nce filtered out. I cannot see a single post without at least three pages of scrolling and then it's only ONE POST. AND IT'S STILL KLANCE BECAUSE IT HASN'T BEEN TAGGED CORRECTLY.

Anyway. Onto the actual things I hate about Lance and not just his fandom.

Lance is a fucking asshole. I mean that on the deepest level. Let's go through it chronologically because I cannot rank it from least to most assholery, because some things are on the same level.

1 - Allura wakes up from the cryopod and Lances catches her. She's confused and dazed and the first thing you should do is ask if she's alright. Oh, but Lance is above that. Instead, he flirts with her. Karma given immediately as she calls his ears hideous and puts him in a submission hold, which is why I kept that scene in my fic, but that was still wrong. I know it was played for comedic effect, but that doesn't make it not canon. It's canonically accurate that if you've awoken from a coma, Lance's first instinct is to flirt with you if you're pretty.

2 - Literally throws Hunk into the middle of a battle. I get that Hunk was supposed to leave the Lion anyway, but just shoving him out when there are lasers everywhere and Hunk has no protection? Yeah. So much for 'best friend'. Add on the fact that Lance never really treats Hunk like a friend. At all.

3 - Okay. Season 1 Lance isn't bad outside of those two examples, even if he has his dumb moments, so let's jump to Season 2. Starting shit with Keith for no reason. People can go 'oh, Keith obviously did something to him at the Garrison' but he DIDN'T. The writers themselves confirmed that Keith did nothing to Lance, he just started shit with Keith all the fucking time. Like accussing Keith of wanting Blue and cutting him off when he tried to explain what was actually happening, even though Lance is the one who was outraged initially that Keith had Red. Or how about Lance getting up in Shiro's face and screaming his head off about how Keith would rather kill people than listen to them, as if he knew Keith at all after bullying him the entire time.

4 - Okay. This one pissed me off the most and is the biggest reason I'm making this post. The fact that Lance used Shiro's death/disappearance against Keith. Keith outwardly expresses his lack of desire to become the leader and accidentally let it slip that Shiro wanted him to do it. To which Lance is all 'convenient that you say that when Shiro's gone'. What. What the fuck. Stans really say that Lance is precious but how the hell are you justifying that? A blind man could see how much Keith loves Shiro, and Lance has the fucking gall the say that Keith is USING his death/disappearance for a position he doesn't want? He didn't even apologise for it. He just told Keith to suck it up later on. This is one of the reasons I hated Lance as the Red Paladin, the others being explained in an earlier post of mine.

5 - Oh, yeah. We're not done. Because after Keith, it's Allura. Allur@nce is probably the worst ship that could have happened, apart from Kl@nce. If you wanted a straight ship, how about what was canon for the past Voltron series? Kallura? Anyway. Yeah, Lance treats Allura like a prize instead of a person. He's posessive in a way that he has no right to be because they were not together. He glares at Matt for flirting with Allura, something he only does once. He gets mad at Lotor and tries to stop them from spending time together, EVEN THOUGH LOTOR IS HELPING ALLURA AND BONDING THROUGH ALTEAN THINGS. HELPING HER KEEP IN TOUCH WITH ALTEAN CULTURE. In Season 8, he literally yells that it should be Lance and Allura?? What a fucking weirdo?? You can't claim that you're destined to be with someone without being together. That's not how healthy relationships work. That's how a stalker's mind works. Lance is constantly flirting with Allura throughout all of Voltron and she never once reciprocated until Season 8 where it's so obvious that Lance is just a rebound but the writers wanna make it so that it's 'true love' and they want Lance to be happier than anyone so they just gift her to him like some sort of trophy. Lance didn't care about loving Allura, he cared about winning her. At least Lotor actually cared for and respected her. I still don't like canon Lotor, but that's mostly because the writers didn't want to deal with gray morality. Cowards.

1 - Honestly the worst example of a leader. It's shown from episode one. Now, there is the argument of learning to become one, but Lance just never learns? He's never facing the consequences of his actions and, if he is lectured, he ignores it. Keith actually takes lessons to heart and tries to improve and he does. If Lance became the Black Paladin, the universe would have been doomed because he can't get over himself for a single moment to even bother listening to anyone else's advice.

So. Yeah. Those are the main reasons why Lance is an asshole. Now to make the Lance stans really pissed.

Reasons why Lance would have been a terrible leader and could never have been the Black Paladin.

Remember episode one? Remember how the hydraulic stabiliser was out in the simulator and Lance still tried to push on, even though Pidge and Hunk advised him not to? Totally great leadership qualities there. There's nothing better than a leader that refuses to listen to you. 'Oh, but Keith is stubborn and didn't listen--' yes he did. He's stubborn and unrelenting at first, but he eventually realises that they're right.

Remember episode three? Remember when Lance bragged about kicking, which made Voltron fall, then proceeded to try it again and failed again even when Keith advised him not to? Yeah. Lance does not make good decisions and does not listen to any advise. Even from the leader's right hand man.

Remember Season 1 Episode 12? Remember how they were waiting for Shiro and Allura to get back and then Keith saw someone taking quintessence so he decided to follow them? Remember how Lance said no and was ignored but did nothing more to stop Keith? He has no authority and no charisma to keep anyone at bay. Pidge herself mocks Lance for being the pinnacle for leadership. Sarcastically. Because he's far from it.

Pidge doesn't respect Lance as a leader, Keith never would considering Lance treats him like shit, Allura can't take Lance seriously with him hitting on her every ten seconds, and Hunk is always questioning Lance's decisions. If nobody respects you, you cannot be a good leader.

2 - Easily distracted. Yes, it's a very popular headcanon that Lance has ADHD, and I agree with that, but that doesn't make it okay. And he's distracted in the easiest ways. Just shove a pretty girl and he'll instantly get distracted and lead the entire team to doom. Remember Nyma and how easy it was for her to steal the Blue Lion? How he didn't even warn anyone that he was taking her out for a ride because he didn't want anyone contesting his conquest? Yeah.

Don't get me wrong. It's fine to have ADHD or get distracted easily. Monkey D. Luffy from One Piece is a great example of a leader who gets easily distracted, but the second he sets his mind on something, he blocks everything out. Lance just doesn't have the capability to do that, nor do I think he'd be able to learn how to.

3 - Gets jealous really easily. As in. Really fucking easily. He's jealous of Keith from the get-go, starting a one-sided rivalry that he's constantly on the losing side of because Keith doesn't care. He gets jealous of Matt when he flirts a bit with Allura. He gets extremely jealous of Lotor for having actual chemistry with Allura. He's constantly jealous and a good leader is only ever in competition with himself. A good leader will only strive to become better for the sake of the team, not to say that they're better than someone else, much less if they're someone that you are in charge of. It's a horrible trait to have.

Jealousy in and of itself is not a bad thing. It's when that jealousy overrides your logic and controls you, instead of you controlling your jealousy: which Lance struggles with a lot. And getting jealous over anyone who even looks at your crush is a very bad thing to do because you do not own your crush. It's okay to be jealous, but not posessively like Lance is. Not to the extent of trying to scare off any potential suitors.

4 - Nowhere near as skilled as Keith or Shiro. Sure, the writers may claim that he is better, but the proof is in the pudding. Keith and Shiro are fucking unmatched. I've defended Lance's skills in a previous post, but I also said in that post that, while he is skilled, he is nowhere near Shiro or Keith's level. I mean, Shiro was the golden child of the Garrison and set so many records. He was known as the best pilot. Keith beat those records and his flying capabilities are always, always noted. I haven't heard a single character comment on Lance's skills, other than to point out how bad they are. Keith was the only one who could have flew through the astroid field, he was the only one who could fly into the Marmora base which was in a blue star surrounded by two black holes, he was able to fly a Galra jet just by pushing the right buttons and knowing what the do, and he's the one who unlocks the warping abilities of the Black Lion. Shiro was able to connect with the Black Lion far before anyone else, able to see through Black and connect with Black to the point of his soul being saved by her.

Lance hasn't done anything spectacular. And, no. He was not 'done dirty'. He was given almost everything he wanted except the Black Lion. The writers claim he's the best pilot, but have not shown it at all. In my eyes, Keith and Shiro will always be the best.

5 - Selfish. Again. Nothing against being selfish. It's perfectly fine to be selfish, so long as it doesn't actively harm others. But for a leader? You should be as selfless as you can be. The team comes before you. And that's exactly what Lance isn't.

Lance is selfish and that's okay, but it's not leadership material. The whole reason Black rejected him is because he wanted the position out of selfish reasons. When he enters Black, he says 'Come on, Lance. You can do this'. In other words, he wants to pilot her because he wants to prove himself. He wants the acknowledgement. He wants the title of the Black Paladin and leader. Black accepted Keith, both at the start of Season 2 and Season 3, because he piloted her for purely selfless reasons. For Shiro.

Lance wants things for himself. Keith wanted things for Shiro. It was only after Shiro came back, (or so they thought), that Keith started focusing more on himself. Even then, he put everyone else before him. He distanced himself from the team so that Shiro could pilot Black again, and he was constantly risking his life for the Blades.

Lance just... isn't the type. He has put others before himself, but he expect things out of it. He expects a parade and acknowledgement. Nobody knew what Shiro went through to rid Zarkon of his connection to the Black Lion. Nobody knew what Shiro went through in his imprisonment because he doesn't want to burden anyone with that. Nobody knew what Keith went through to save Black and Shiro from Zarkon. Nobody knew what Keith went through when they were all mad at him for missing an attack. Lance doesn't withold that sort of stuff. The only thing he doesn't talk about is his insecurities, which he ends up spilling to the mice and Laika (the Yupper) anyway.

6 - Last one. Promise.

Nothing fucking happened. While Keith was gone, nothing of importance happened surrounding Voltron specifically. There was the Lion mind meld and Lotor joining, but all that served to prove was, with the mind meld, if Keith was there, he would have heard Shiro. And with Lotor joining, all it proved was how immature Lance was.

The second Keith gets back, things start happening again. Lotor gets outed as cruel and manipulative (still an ass-pull, by the way), Shiro gets outed as a clone, and so on. If Lance was leading, they all probably would have died ages ago. I'm talking Season 3 Episode 2, ages ago. Because Lance just isn't cut out for it.

So. Yeah. Those are the main reasons I hate Lance and why Black Paladin Lance is an awful idea. Screw the people who believe in it. It is awful.

Like I said, this won't affect my treatment of Lance in my rewrite, because I can fix those issues that come up. I don't have an issue with Season 1 Lance, it's later on that gets problematic. I just hate people building Lance up by bashing all the other characters, then claiming that Lance is the most traumatised, sad character when SHIRO AND KEITH ARE RIGHT THERE. NOT TO MENTION ALLURA, WHO LOST HER ENTIRE SPECIES, AND CORAN WHO LOST EVERYONE INCLUDING ALLURA AND NEVER GOT TO SAY GOODBYE TO HER.

Fuck. I hate Voltron so much but I can't help but love it.

[xitsensunmoon]

Main FAQ

First of all, let's make it clear - this blog is my home. You're not a "customer" and you're not "always right", you are a guest. If you don't like anything that happens here, just leave, scroll away or block. I will not change anything just because you don't like it.

Before sending an ask, please also check my bio. Surprisingly a lot of people don't do even that. Let's go.

Can I use your work for a profile picture/wallpaper on my device? Can I print your stuff?

You can take my work for personal use if you don't get any profit from it. If it's online - credit me.

Can I dub/translate your comics?

Yes but with few conditions.

1. You credit me as an original creator. If it's a video you put the credits in the video, not in the description. If it's a post you put them in the post itself, not in the comments.

2. You do not put your watermark on my work/do not erase my watermark. You also don't colour it/don't "fix" it. It's my work and my work alone.

3. You do not change the dialogue/add phrases that weren't said by the characters. Again, it is my work, it's my interpretation and I will not tolerate you taking my work and changing it to your liking.

4. If you want to profit from my work - you don't have my permission.

5. You take down videos/posts with my work if I ask you to.

If any of these don't suit you - you don't have my permission.

Can I make an AI bot of your character?

Hard no. Roleplay bots are almost always using public fanfiction without the consent of the authors, not paying for their hard work but using it for profit, it's theft and I'm not going to contribute to that. I'm already considering removing my own bots from Character AI, as ch.ai still doesn't tell the public how they're training their bots so we'll see about that.

Anything that is absolutely off the table when sending an ask?

- Please don't vent to me. I'm not a professional phycologist and I never agreed to play the role of one. I also avoid questions like "I had a bad day, can you draw[ ]?" because after them my inbox becomes a venting place. Please seek professional help if you feel like every day is worse than the previous.

- Please do not send me anything NS///FW. As much as I can support suggestive content, explicit stuff will be immediately deleted and if you make me uncomfortable I probably will block you. No hard feelings but Tumblr is an SFW place for me. If you see me reblog something not SFW, it was probably made by my friend or with previous discussion and proper mature labels for everything.

Can I send you a DM, not an ask?

After some not-very-pleasant experiences that made me uncomfortable, I closed my DM's for everyone except my mutuals. But you're still free to send me asks about anything(within reasonable limits ofc).

Can I write a fic based on your art? Can I use your ideas in my works?

About ideas - ask first. I can get protective over one idea but completely don't care about the other one. If I said yes, credit me as an original source.

Can I draw a fanart/write you a fic?

Of course!! I'm absolutely happy to see anything! Also please tag me when you're done. If it's one of my au's - use specific tags for fanart so even if dumb Tumblr doesn't send me your tag, I will eventually bump into it browsing the tag!<3 (you can also tag me again if you think I didn't see your fan work, I absolutely don't mind!!) Also, feel free to drop an ask with a link too!

Can I tag you in other stuff?

As I already said you can absolutely tag me for any type of fan content(it doesn't even need to be yours). Memes are fine too, just don't do it every day alright?

Why don’t you answer my ask?

It can be one of these reasons:

1. I want to answer your ask with an art piece/comic. It takes time.

2. Your question contains spoilers so I'm keeping it for later when the truth can be revealed =]

3. I'm busy. Yeah.

4. I've already answered something similar/I don't want to answer your question so your ask got deleted.

When will you continue working on [insert whatever]?

When I can. I'm not pausing my things just to spite you. Most of the time I'm just busy or I simply don't have the energy to do anything. To everyone who says stuff like "oh well we've been waiting for a few months already!!" - I'm not here to entertain you. I'm here to have fun and share it with other people and you're currently ruining it. I will block anyone who is doing this continuously.

Can you draw my characters?

For free? No, I don't accept requests like that. You can commission me though. When my commissions are open of course. I will open DMs when it happens.

What content are you okay/not okay with?

Admiring of any of these in real life: terrorism, racism, rape, war, sexism, misogyny, transphobia, homo/queerphobia, pedophilia, sex trafficking, mental illnesses. If the content tries to show how terrible these things are I am mostly okay with it.

Is there anything I should watch out for on your page?

Dark themes, suggestive themes, and sometimes negative ones. I'm not afraid to draw violence, blood and gore. Dark humour. In general, I don't recommend anyone who's under 16 to be here but it's always your responsibility for what you're about to see.

In your bio, it says russians DNI? Is it about every russian or only those who support the war?

I don't care if you're a good russian or not, I don't care about your opinions and worldview. I don't want you in here. I have no time nor desire to try and understand how good you are. As a Ukrainian, I have all the right to tell all russians and people who admire anything connected to them to go fuck yourself. It's my safe place and I don't feel safe with zz's in it. Do you feel like I'm being "too categorical"? Don't make it my problem and leave. End of conversation.

Even WITHOUT war context (which I actually huge and should NOT be ignored) this post explains pretty well why this boundary exists.

What is your stance on reposting your artwork/fics?

The only cases when I allow reposting are dubs/translations with credits and all the other rules that I mentioned earlier. In other cases, no, do not repost my artwork. Doesn’t matter if you credit, I said no.

I saw your art somewhere but I'm sure you weren't the one to post it.

I post on Tumblr and Tiktok, my nickname always contains "xitsen" in it. You also could possibly see the dubs of my stuff on YouTube, as I allow these. Please send me an ask with a link to the repost if it's somewhere else. I will try to solve the situation myself.

Can I use your work as a reference? Can I trace/copy it?

Reference? Yes. If it's very obvious - credit me too. Trace/copy? Only if you're doing that for study and aren't posting it anywhere. I've done a few tutorials on how I draw things for people to learn as a base, as an example. Every artist gets their inspiration from others so that's normal but I will not tolerate you claiming my work as yours.

What pronouns do you use?

She/they. Please don't refer to me in masculine terms.

What art program(s) do you use? Drawing tablet? Brushes?

For art pieces 90% of the time it's Paint Tool Sai 2, sometimes Photoshop and Krita. For animations, it's rather Toon Boom Premium or Krita.

My tablet is fucking 6 years old, Wacom something. They don't sell these anymore so I couldn't even find the model lmao.

Brushes - standard SAI brushes, watercolour for shading and brush for line art. If it's textured I use my custom one, you can create it yourself if you use SAI.

Don't mind the text quality please lmao. I literally had to copy it from Google for English translation. But the settings are mine yeah.

For Krita, I use stardart brushes as well, nothing fancy. Charcoal or lasso for shading, Water basic lines wet pattern for lineart. I like trying out all of the standard brushes Krita has for rendering :) Like using Impasto details for blood or watercolour for simple textures.

Your "r" looks like "z"-

I know. Just let me be with my handwriting please lmao.

If you struggle with reading it this post with my alphabet can help you.

Why do you call [character] a whore??

It's an inside joke that suddenly became bigger than we expected. A silly, a funny, a goofy. It's not slut shaming if you thought it was. I love to joke about characters being whores in the most affectionate and lighthearted way possible even when the character clearly has no bitches. It even doesn't need to be sexual. Just a hee-hee ha-ha.

Probably gonna update it in future because I'm fucking sure I forgor something.

[lurkingteapot]

2023 post round-up/summary

Lovely @twig-tea tagged me here, so I'll try my hand.

I'd abandoned tumblr for about 4? 5? years 2016ish through 2020, had a short stint with it again in 2020, took peeks and vehemently disagreed with much of what I saw in 2021-2022, and grudgingly settled back in in 2023. I wasn't going to interact. I wasn't.

Jan-April: *crickets* I was being strong!

Then, I saw people moaning about how they'd learn Thai if only it was on Duolingo, and you know how spite can be funnelled into positivity? I did that! Result:

May

Popular: Free Thai Language Learning Resources, most popular by a landslide. This pleases me greatly, as I put a lot of work into it and always hope more people start picking up this language.

Favourite: maybe my thoughts on Ming, piggybacking off @kenmakaashi's post?

June

Popular: my musings on translation and how it relates to fannish reception of media, which was my most popular post of the year and 'broke containment', if only in a very small way. Some of the additions in the tags and reblogs are fantastic, do go have a look if you like!

Favourite: toss-up between my attempt at showing a parallel between a silly moment in Our Skyy 2 x BBS and a scrapped shot from BBS proper and this rant about Romanisations of Thai and why G**gle translate is the devil (that bit is in the conversation downthread), which let me meet @plantsarepeopletoo.

July

Popular: Summary of James Welker's 2006 essay "Beautiful, Borrowed, and Bent: “Boys’ Love” as Girls’ Love in Shōjo Manga"

Favourite: the offerings are slim here … let's go with the one in which I once more was salty about the way folks talk about BL

August

Popular: Only Friends' Ray isn't just The Drunkard, but also The One Who's basically Given Up On Himself, as per his title card (this one was so popular it got stolen and reposted – without credit or permission – to twitter 🙃)

Favourite: Thinking about Drama, the Romance genre, and tropes, and how those relate to our perception of BL (good additions from various folks in the notes; conversation with @visualtaehyun in reblogs and @twig-tea in the replies).

September

Popular: IFYLITA Ep 6 poem context notes

Favourite: toss-up between complaining about badly machine translated content in Love in Translation and musing on the name of Khun Yai's favourite bar

October

Popular: my long-winded answer to @zimmbzon's ask "Hi, how would a non-binary person (me) get around the binary gender rules and vocab in Thai?"

Favourite: uhhh … maybe my musings on honorific translations in kimi ni wa todokanai? (yes, technically a reblog from sideblog, shh)

November

Popular: most popular was this throwaway therapy vent containing food for thought and while I guess this meme is mostly fannish I'm linking it anyway because it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to (or something)

Favourite: when I called out the resemblance between the Last Twilight trailer and Intouchables (2011). Literally no one cared, but then @my-rose-tinted-glasses independently came in strong with receipts as soon as the actual first episode aired and made me feel validated af.

December

Popular: Why I'm pretty sure Last Twilight's "fried rice/false rice" joke was funnier in Thai

Favourite: the saga of the songs in Ep 4 of Last Twilight

I didn't do any round-up posts, but I'll include the other category @twig-tea added:

Five other posts that I want to highlight because I can:

BL Favourites Tag Game (July 2023)

Link to fujoshi.info with information on WHY you should check out that site if you're interested in having an informed opinion on BL and the genre's history.

contemporary issues in Thailand as mentioned in Only Friends ep 1

Thoughts on code-switching in Step by Step

Reply to @mynameisnotthepoint's comment-via-ask on my anti viki rant

I'm not going to tag anyone because I'm completely lost – I was mostly off tumblr for nearly three weeks; if you made a post like this you'd like me to see, please link me/tag me! <3

[scrumptiousstuffs]

Tag game

Tagged by the lovely @mbjw

Why did you choose your url? - It first started as "thescrumptiousbookstuffs" cause I really like books but I never really have the time to actually write a proper review of books (or even read nowadays). And then I decided the whole name was too long, and I basically shorten it into the current moniker. Cause I thought, hey - BL boys are scrumptious too 😁

Any sideblogs? - If you have them, name them and why do you have them - I just started one but there is nothing posted on it. I called it "just writing" cause it will likely be my random thoughts that I will keep private

How long have you been on tumblr? - Since 2010 (I think) but for the longest time, it was empty where I will occasionally reblog random things. I only started to become active in during COVID lockdown

Do you have a queue tag? - Nah, I cannot be bothered. I usually just post it immediately.

Why did you start your blog in the first place - COVID lockdown means I was oscillating between depression and boredom. Apart from work (which was exhausting cause I worked in the medical field and during lockdown, I don't have to tell you want that means), I was pretty much isolated from my closest friends and family (as they all live in a different country altogether). So, tumblr allowed me to browse through my interest (mainly BTS and BL)

Why did you choose your icon/pff? - Erm, FK owns my soul. Hehe...They are my children/babies and I will defend them till the end of time.

Why did you choose your header? - I change this every few months. The most recent one is a photo I took when I went travelling to the Southern part of New Zealand (my other interest apart from BL/BTS is to take beautiful photographs of nature)

What's your post with the most notes? - I think it is the Wandee Goodday cast dressing up (and having fun) during Pride Month. I guess seeing Podd in drag is a highlight for everyone lol

How many mutuals do you have? - Not sure. 10? I am terrible at this, I should really follow more people lol

Now many followers do you have? - just over 750. Not a lot hehe

How many people do you follow? 26. I should really follow more people.....

Have you ever made a shitpost? - If you mean putting/posting things that I regret - yes. I then just delete them.

How often do you use tumblr each day? - I checked them at least 3-4 times per day (bad, I know 😅), but it is fun to see what other people are posting

Did you have fight/argument with another blog once? - Nah, if I don't like what someone post (maybe cause I disagree with what they say etc), I just block them. Means tumblr is a peaceful and safe haven for me

How do you feel about 'you need to reblog this' posts? - I don't like it. I will reblog and like the posts I want to like. Nobody is allowed to tell me what to do on my tumblr dashboard 🫣

Do you like tag games? - I don't mind it at all. It is a way for me to learn about my mutuals (and other people) 😌

Do you like ask games? - Sure, happy to answer any questions ✌️

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? - Hemm, I have no idea hahaha....what is considered famous?

Do you have a crush on a tumblr? - Nah, but I am always happy to interact with anyone and answer any questions (but I cannot promise I know the answers!)

Tags? - Gonna tag @akkpipitphattana, @hyp-no-tic, @pluviophile6104, @moonkhao, @c0smicdaisy, @fadeawayaway, @firstkanaphans and anyone else who wants to join (also feel free to ignore these if you don't want to answer any of this!)

[robiinurheart33]

Thanks for the tag @sergeantwoods !! I went a little crazy on the questions lols,,,

1. how many works?

Honestly no idea lmao (if ur talking on ao3, I don’t have an account there, but I’ve been thinking about it.) (14 wips atm)

2. Total word count?

Again, no idea LOL! My actual works have been around 1K ish per post? So id say in total maybee 10k?

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Currently, COD. I wanna expand more soon though, so stay tuned in the far, far future

4. top 5 fics by kudos?

I’m gonna list down my fav fics of all time (multi fandom) if im reading this correctly

1. Anything by buzzcut_season really. Their writing is spectacular and made my heart clench on so many occasions. My personal GOD of writing fluff. And the person that got me through the hells of teenage puberty.(for the record, i am still in puberty lmfao) my firsts in the tag tooth-rotting fluff and the magics of slow burn. (Sk8 the Infinity)

2. Neon Void by sugarpastels. The creator is here on Tumblr with the same user so if you wanna check her out go ahead!! FANTASTIC writing, villain Leo au with heart pounding scenes that leave me dizzy. A fic has never made me breathless and needing to pace around my room more than this one (special shoutout to her sister as well who is writing a mutant mayhem fic that unfortunately didn’t get added to the list but is still super well written!!) (ROTTMNT)

3. Anytime You Need Me by thirteenbullets. I really don’t need to elaborate more. Character analysis + fluff + non sexual intimacy + long fics… it’s the perfect series for me. I felt like a stuck gold when i read this. (COD)

4. The Eldest Brother by dEBB987. Classic 2012 x 2018 crossover, but it doesn’t have ooc and is just such. A. Fun. Read. Made me giggle and kick my legs more than one occasion and good family feels all around. (TMNT)

5. Mutant Ninja Midlife Crisis by a_platypus. Old Leo comes back to the past after the events of the movie to readjust to new life. The right amount of drama with the perfect amount of slice of life. This fic actually gives the old turtle a break but also not letting go of the teenage angst and everything that comes with seeing your dead friends young and alive again. Would have been higher on the list but it’s not completed sadly. The author does write for COD as well though, and it’s worth to check it out! (ROTTMNT)

5. do you respond to comments?

Yes!!! I love love love it when people comment and try to interact if possible.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably the panic attack Ghost fic. Haven’t written much angst if im remembering correctly. I’m a major fluff person

7. fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh god i really haven’t written a proper fic at all helps. I’m frantically swiping through my robs ramblings tag and just realising most of the ghoap stuff i write is about their undying dedication to each other. Jesus. Happiest ending is probably one of my blurbs cause every time i try to write actual fluff i overheat and explode.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Nope

9. do you write smut?

Nah. I don’t think ill ever write smut honestly not because im asexual its just that I don’t think I can write one accurately if that makes sense. Also im a minor I don’t think im allowed to do that

10. craziest crossover?

None yet

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thankfully not, but if i have i would take it as a sign that I’ve made it as a writer. Unless it’s more popular than the actual post in that case burn it with fire.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Unfortunately and fortunately no. I would LOVE to collaborate, don’t get me wrong. But i would get so anxious about not disappointing the other person or procrastinating and motivation and all the works and just. Yeah I don’t have the mental capacity for that rn.

14. all time favourite ship?

Ooooooh

ghoap, renga, ineffable husbands, solangelo (Off the top of my head rn)

15. what’s a wip that you want to finish but doubt you will?

THE SECOND PART TO DRUNK SOAP. OH MY GOD I NEED TO GET IT DONE ITS BEEN 2 MONTHS

16. what are your writing strengths?

I would say making everything just too dramatic and emotional

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. I can barely talk irl how am i supposed to write witty banter

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Love it. As a bilingual myself i love seeing diff languages it’s like a bonus secret for that language user

19. first fandom you wrote in?

Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles. That was when i was in my “i think this is so cringy of me and i hold myself back because of it” because wow. I reread some of it recently and it’s horrible it will stay and rot in my notes app. Although i will say it’s so nice to see how far I’ve come in terms of writing and just posting publicly in general

20. favourite fic you’ve written?

The drunk soap one and the Ghoap one where they’re on stakeout together. I didn’t like the second one initially, but i think slaving over it worked. I love how I managed to balance the quietness and mutual respect and fondness of each other.

If you couldn’t tell, i had a lot of fun answering these questions haha

If you’ve made it this far, congratulations!! You know more about me than the average online follower 👏👏👏

[gallavictorious]

Fic authors self rec!

When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love. Tagging any and all of you talented folks either in writing or heck let’s do art.

I was pleasantly surprised to be tagged by the sweet @rayrayor Cheers, dear! Since this is my Shameless sideblog, I’ll stick with Shameless fic for this. That was far more difficult than I thought it’d be though, so don’t hold me these picks, as I might well change my mind tomorrow. Right now, my favourites appear to be mostly the very short things I wrote for Tumblr, rather than any longer fic.

Claim

Two nights later you're giving one of your regulars a lapdance when there's a slap to your arm and a curt “time's up, lovebirds” and you look up and there he is.

There he is.

Mickey wants back into Ian's life. Ian wonders if, and how, to let him. Or, the one where the boys conduct their meaningful conversations not by talking but by having sex.

Note: This is an actual, proper fic. Darker and heavier than my usual stuff, but I remain very pleased with it. Season 4 Gallavich was such a raw and tangled thing, and I had a lot of fun diving into the intricacies of their reunion.

Gallavich Week 2020: Meet-Cute

Ian goes shopping and decides to pick up something not on his list.

Note: This one is mostly silly fun, but isn’t it nice when they get to have that? Also, I’m happy with the dialogue.

11 year past S11: Liam and Mickey

So, I watcched 11x05 again, and started to wonder if Mickey will ever learn the truth about how Terry got shot (and if it matters).

Note: Tumblr short. This one is just soft. It soothes me. And I’m pleased with the prose, which is always a big thing for me.

Post-S10: Accepting Comfort

Mickey is upset; Ian is there.

Note: Tumblr short. The first proper thing I wrote for Gallavich, and still one of my favourites. Emotional hurt/comfort. I’m particularly fond of the last line.

AU: Ghost

A century or so ago, in a small town, Ian Gallagher receives and unexpected visitor.

Be warned: there's a lot of angst and not much comfort in this one.

Note: Tumblr short. I don’t care much for AU:s or angst but I’m very happy with the writing on this one. (There’s a tiny hint of hope at the end of it, btw. But this is a dark tale, what with the major character death and all.)

I guess a bunch of you have done this already, but I'll tag @dreamylyfe-x @captainjowl @whaticameherefor @gardenerian @howlinchickhowl and @sickness-health-all-that-shit Hope you're all well, dearlings!

[yanderespamton78]

TIMELINE

im not great at stuff like this and ive kinda changed my style of writing at diff stages, so some bits are more lighthearted, some bits are more serious some bits are all shoved into one post, ect ect ect. sorry about that!! also this doesnt get updated often on tumblr, but if you want the link to the word doc just ask and ill DM it to you :DD

APR 16 :

 6:32 am : Turnons blog opened :D

APR 20 : 

8:35 am : Turnon makes the poll about whether he should investigate smth weird addons doing (this shows that addon has been slightly suspicious since the start)

8:35 am : First morse code!!! With the poll 

4:39 pm : “I miss my past” post (possibly relevant??)

4:53 pm : Maskons first post

4:54 pm : First interaction with maskon (through a comment on a post - he didn't yet have a proper blog)

7:24 pm : Addon makes a blog

8:01 pm : First interaction with the morse code entity

8:10 pm : Addon first translates what the morse code entity is saying

8:15 pm : the giftday party incident (i added this bc it makes me laugh a lot)

8:37 pm : rainbon mentioned. Possibly significant? 

9:24 pm : We find out the morse code entity is actually turnon (im guessing right after the acident but i could be wrong)  (the addisons never find this out)

9:47pm : First time the alphabet code entity speaks through turnons posts. Says “i think that's enough. you're scaring him. he's hurt, you wouldn't want him to dust would you?” presumably referring to the morse code entity. Right after this the morse code entity disappears, and any further interactions respond with “but no one came”

9:57 pm : Second interaction with alphabet code entity who says “stop talking to him you're giving him a headache”. Turnon complains about a headache. This is the first signs of a decline in his health. In the next post he says that hes going to go.

10:04 pm : Addon has been translating bits of the morse code for a bit now. The forth analysis ends up being corrupted, and all the characters are just black blocks. 

APR 21 :

9:26 am : First post says that he got a nosebleed and passed out on his desk the previous night. He also mentions that when he woke up there was a cup of tea on his desk which he presumes is from addon but it was never confirmed.

10:59 am : Mentions that the strange people are back (mentioned in the poll) and that hes getting a nosebleed. Mentions in the next post that he feel really dizzy and is going back to his desk

11:34 am : Turnon describes a building pressure in his head like bugs. 

11:50 am : Turnon says that the nosebleed stopped. Alphabet entity gets accused of being slick. It ignores the question and instead tells us to leave turnon alone as he’s stressed with work.

12:00 noon : This post from maskon? Not sure the relevance of the song. definitely creepy tho.

6:14 pm : Here addon confirms that turnon is in the medbay. This is later contradicted by addon himself.

6:14 pm : “turnon” says that he woke up and has no idea where he is. At 6:23 he tags addon for help.

6:19 pm : Addon says that he opened a zipped file and it shut down his pc. This is presumably what causes the medical documents to get leaked.

6:29 pm : “Turnon” says that he knows where he is and isn't happy about it. What??

6:52 pm : A few posts later “turnon” tells addon that he got hurt really badly. He says hes going to try to walk home against addons advice.

7:42 pm : Something happens and “turnon” starts making disturbing posts. They are in english but don’t have spaces. He seems frantic and scared and at 7:54 pm he doesnt respond to his own name, despite the fact that he mentions his goggles and crypton, which are obviously things that are unique to him. 

7:50 pm : Addon responds to the first spaceless post and comments on how turnon couldn't be making the posts as he is unconscious in medbay 

8:03 pm : When not-turnon is questioned on his name he says it is presson and seems confused. He says he found the phone in queens palace (if he is telling the truth, it would make sense why turnon was unhappy about where he was. Obviously he fell into the acid lake in queens mansion so its unsurprising that he would be on edge.)

8:20pm : Presson denies that it was him who typed the weird spaceless posts. 

9:34 pm - 9:59 pm : Presson comments on how dark and run down seraphim is. When questioned on it addon says its probably something interdimensional or timeline based. At this point, his text starts glitching out. Addon tells presson to put the phone in the big machine, but presson says that it looks dangerous and he doesn't want to. He seems genuinely worried about dying, but addon insists he returns the phone. Finally, he puts it in the machine and you are no longer able to contact presson.

10:52 pm : when questioned on the weird glitchy text, he again chalks it up to interdimensional lag

If we go by addons version of events (which he talked about a few days later on the 24th) at about 6-7pm turnon went out and got badly injured. At about 8 pm some kind of entity (presson) took his phone, who addon electrocuted. At about 9 pm Turnon was found in an alleyway with some kind of black fluid gushing out of his nose. 

APR 22 : 

5:37 pm : confirmation that Maskon is Slick

8:28 pm : The first leak of Turnons medical documents. 

9:07 pm - 9:53 pm : this whole saga. An asker accuses Addon of experimenting on turnon and Addon denies it. Id recommend reading it.

10:06 pm : Maskon refers to Turnon as his husband

APR 23 : 

11:04 am : Turnon wakes up!! In a bad state but alive :3 also at 11:08 am he says that hes missing a few parts

4:08 pm : turnon is told about the (made up) debt issues

4:37 pm : turnon is shown his medical document. At 4:57 pm hes told not to tell addon about it.

5:24 pm : Turnon is told about presson. He also says that his last phone is blown up.

5:25 pm : Turnon talks about maskon

5:42 pm : Turnon mentions his legs feeling numb D:

7:20 pm : Turnon secretly spells out help !! wow !! 

7:47 pm : second Turnon medical document leaked!!  (at 8:23 pm i made fun of addon for being bad at stopping important docs from getting leaked)

8:34 pm : we find out about the hats

APR 24 :

12:51 pm : Click gets a blog!!

10:30 pm : Turnon makes a post asking how long is legs are supposed to be numb, and asking why his fingers are turning black. Click reblogs the post and says that hes coming over. After that turnon starts typing his posts really,,, bad,, theres no better way to describe it. After a minute Surf (ambyu-lance) takes the phone and click demands to speak to him and addon

APR 25 : 

6:57 pm : the third medical document leaked. This hasn't been decoded yet, but the first bit seems to be in nihilistic cipher. IMPORTANT : instead of having Patient 25 : Turnon.G. Addison at the top, it has Patient 24 : Crimson.K.Addison. This means that there could’ve been other addisons that Slick infected.

8:16 pm : Turnon makes a post, a picture he drew of himself with the caption “im a little sad, i'll get better”. When questioned on it he says that hes not used to the feeling of being useless.

9:15 pm - 9:37 pm : Clickon is questioned on whether he talked to Surf and Addon. He says that he did, and no one is completely sure whats up with Turnon. Clickon says that Turnons condition is worsening. Hes paler than usual, his fingers are black, and Clickon accidentally pulled out a clump of his hair. Click says that Turnon is a survivor, but even this makes him worried. After this, Addon reblogs the post saying that he didn't talk to clickon last night and theres no footage of Click entering the building. Click is obviously confused, to which Addon tells click to wake up and to stop living in his fantasies. After this Clickon says he feels weird.

9:20 pm : cool lil drawing. Not really relevant but i thought it was neat lol

9:35 pm : TURNON STANDS!!!! He mentions that his legs are black and hurt like hell but hes standing!! (at 9:53 pm he falls over D:)

9:37 pm : Click makes a post that simply reads “Somethings wrong.”

9:57 pm : When questioned if he's ok, clickon replies saying he never made it, before a wall of binary. It reads “Everything feels stuffy, Shadows I'm in my car, I think I'm being watched”. At 10:02 pm Addon reblogs the post saying “get out. Now.” before a string of numbers that haven't been decoded. At 10:09 pm Clickon reblogs the post again with another binary code, this time reading “I don't know where I'm going, My eyes, My eyes, I can barely see, Is it following me”

10:15 pm : Maskon makes some kind of post about Cotton candy. It translates to “i do like cotton candy dont you?”

10:23 pm : someone asks maskon / slick if he did anything to Clickon. Slick said he didn't want yellow to hang out with someone like that, but he deserves his freedom.

10:40 pm : Clickon makes a post in binary. It reads “The stars are beautiful tonight, The stars are beautiful tonight, The stars are beautiful tonight, The stars"

APR 26 : 

7:35 am : Ice cream blog opened

2:07 pm : The runner of the Ice cream blog says that he uses the alias pinup (but for some reason, he can't disclose his real name. Could be for privacy reasons though.)

2:32 pm : Pinup gets a coat!! He comments on how it doesn’t have a tag for some reason

5:12 pm : Pinup mentions addon. He says that he sees addon as a friend but he isnt sure if addon feels the same.

3:39 pm : Clickon mentions he just woke up in the woods with a massive headache. He doesn't know how he got there. 

3:42 pm - 4:26 pm : Complaining about various things. He mentions having frozen joints, so he probably slept in the woods all night. He says “at least hes alive” which means he probably thought he was genuinely going to die (or hes just being dramatic)

4:33 pm - 10:11 pm : lots of things happen in this thread. Firstly, Clickon says that it was him making the posts in binary. He says he vaguely remembers typing something out on his phone, and that he was very scared. The first two are relatively self explanatory, he was scared. The third one he said he remembered looking up at the stars. He describes everything feeling trippy and disorientating as he was running, and feeling like he was being chased. He ends up being told all about Slick and all that. He isnt actually too surprised?? He says that he is nearing the city and he can see buildings in the distance. Anyways Important Shit Happened Go read it

11:38 pm : Its confirmed that the reason why Turnon didn't post anything is because addon took away his phone.

APR 27 : 

6:37 pm : Clickon updates us saying he got back to the city and after a rough night and is driving to seraphim, presumably to check on turnon

6:44 pm : Turnon makes a post saying hes going to walk home and addon doesnt know. At about 6:55 pm he passes out in the middle of the road. At this point he is disoriented from the pain medication and thinks he is back home.

6:58 pm : Clickon finds addon in the road and mistakes him for roadkill. By 7:04 pm turnon is in his car and they were going back to seraphim. At 7:14 pm he says that turnon is speaking gibberish. 

7:15 pm : Addon says a taskforce has already been sent out to try find turnon

7:29 pm : no matter what turnip says, addon finds out that clickon has turnon and sends out a bunch of shit to stop him, presumably not realising that he has good intentions.

7:36 pm : Clickon gets fucking SHOT !! 2 mins later turnon also presumably gets shot. NICE!! Later addon confirms it was a tranquiliser dart.

7:51 pm : at this point both clickon and turnon have been captured. Addon refers to them as ”two ominous individuals” at 8:04 pm Addon reports that they have been hooked up to an experimental piece of darkner equipment that hurts them when they move. 

8:19 pm : Clickon makes a post saying he doesn't want to die. Addon replied a few minutes later with what is essentially a threat (8:22 pm) and at 8:28 pm he ends up confirming that he knows about Slick

[sttoru]

Girly idk how I wasn't following you still, tumblr isn't stupid, I'm sorry that you are feeling on the outskirts of the fandom as well. You are a wonderful person and writer, and I'm glad you’ve been growing as you have been. You deserve so much more love!! 💕

It does make me feel like there is something wrong with me or like in off putting when i see several big blogs talking to each other, boosting each other. But then I drop in, just say hi to be friendly, only to be ignored. When they are literally responding to various anons or other people.

It seems like they want to talk to everyone else but me. Which has me feeling like I'm in the wrong, I'm bothersome and unwanted in the fandom space. They don't have to talk to me, but my feelings are still gonna be hurt at being shunned by 90% of the blogs I try to interact with.

It does kill my motivation since I don't want to be seen as someone who just posts. I want to be seen as a friend and someone to talk to.

I understand that some people get along better than others. But damn so many people are having this problem it seems like. It's boiling down to popular blogs like other popular blogs, boost other popular blogs and they stay the main people in the fandom eyes whole everyone sits quietly in the side just wanting to be partly including

Feel free to rant right back if need be. Cause I get needing to get this shit off your chest, cause I sure as hell needed to

hiii feyyy !!! dwww, it’s all good :> thank u sm for ur nice words aaaaaaa u r as well, one of the writers on here that i respect 4 their hard work !

gonna vent a bit haha need to get some things off my chest too like u said;

i get ur first point!! it sucks rlly. especially when you are the first one reaching out (which takes a lot of courage, especially for someone socially awkward like me lol) and then it hurts DOUBLE because you get ignored. i get ittttt rlly. for me, i always try to reply ppl even if im a bit late because im either thinking of a proper response or am distracted or busy , but i never intentionally ignore anyone interacting with me. i know some ppl on here do bcs they don’t feel entitled to respond to comments or anons or whatev, which is like ? ok. but if it’s someone just being friendly and complimenting you / your work … it’s not hard to reply w a form of gratitude . some rlly think they’re celebrities on here and it needs to stop

and it’s understandable and totally valid to feel like you’re being shunned and unwanted by people you just want to befriend , only for them to ignore you / not interact with you but with everyone else :/ it sucks and ppl don’t seem to realise that it could hurt other’s feelings. i hope you know that you’re not unwanted tho! those people are just… idk, a bit weird (ofc im only talking abt people who INTENTIONALLY ignore others)

findjng a friend on tumblr with the same interest is like a chore. you either click instantly or you think you do, only for it to be fore 2 interactions max and then you go back to ignoring each other basically on dash

AND YOUR LAST POINTS!! so true. its that the more popular blogs just stick together and help each other out when ??? there are smaller blogs of writers / artists just sittng in the sidelines like ‘ok so what do i have to do to gain traction if the people with a bit of bigger platforms are totally ignoring me & my works’

it’s actually tiring. ofc, me having 3k followers — i am suuuuper grateful, not complaining much, but i also know how it feels. my notifications are super dry except for mainly likes, my dms are like a desert, inbox is 98% only of anons who drop requests and then leave without leaving anything else. no one to talk to, except for people who leave a comment every once in a while :/

like u may think bcs i have decent following i actually gain more interactions? not rlly. only likes & sometimes reblogs w tags. that’s all really, i don’t really have anyone on here who i consider a close online friend (as much as this sounds sad & cringy LMAOO) but its tiring to see everyone be so close to each other on dash while im on the side like ‘how nice it must be to get that much interaction’

& im sure there are people who r gonna say ‘just interact with them’ I DO and i either get left on read or they respond dryly / or i don’t get the same energy back. bcs sometimes im reluctant to reach out first because it always ends up w me taking the initiative & i end up looking desperate to get an interaction with a mutual LOL

anyways thinking abt this tumblr writing community makes my head ache bcs of all the things ive seen and experienced on here (also on my prev account which i had for 2 years)

[television-overload]

20 fanfic questions

Thanks for tagging me @randomfoggytiger !

How many works do you have on AO3?

30, I'm still working on putting more that I wrote either on Tumblr or Fanfiction.net back in the day on my AO3 (if they don't induce too much cringe. Been doing this almost a decade now).

2. What's your total AO3 words count?

137,433 and counting

3. What fandoms do you write for?

NCIS, X-Files, Star Wars, and on rare occasions, Harry Potter

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Mother (Star Wars Obi-Wan x Satine), Life Force (more Star Wars), Back to You (old NCIS fic), Like Life Itself (you guessed it, more Star Wars), and sh-boom (X-Files :D)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes, if I get a particularly nice comment that makes me all excited. But I recently read a post where someone was saying you shouldn't reply to comments on your own fic on AO3 because it artificially inflates the number of comments on your story, and I was like :'(

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooh, I've been specializing in angst since I got back into fic writing. Let me think... The Star Wars prequels are inherently angsty, so-- hope like the sun (Star Wars) this could be such a dream (Star Wars) what was once a garden (Star Wars)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Mother (Star Wars), because even though it's angsty, it's a happy ending AU. I'm realizing a lot of my fics that I'm actually proud of have melancholy endings lol sh-boom (X-Files) is a good one too.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I mean, maybe I used to? When I wrote as a teen? Not so much "hate" as "this doesn't make sense," and half the time, the commenter was getting some fact about the fandom wrong anyway haha

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind?

Nope, never will

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Never a crossover, although I have thought about an X-Files/NCIS crossover. Pretty sure I'd be the only one interested in it though. I am currently writing a Star Wars fanfic that is basically a retelling of The Sound of Music, which is probably as close to a crossover as I'll get.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. But I did have someone ask to print my fic out once to keep forever and that made me so happy :')

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

That would be cool, but no.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I can't. I'm so loyal to Tony and Ziva from NCIS, and they really are fantastic. But even I have to admit that Mulder and Scully are the blueprint. Nobody did co-dependent coworkers turned lovers like them. Both of them have WILD stories about how they ended up with a child though, and I love them for that.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oof. The forbidden topic. I was writing a fic called "In the Eyes of Tali" on Fanfiction.net once upon a time before they brought back Ziva on the show, and a lot of people seemed to really enjoy it. It was basically the episode Family First from Tali's perspective, which I think is really unique, and then went on toward an eventual reunion with Ziva. I think I could theoretically finish it one day, but there's so much I'm writing now that I doubt it. Maybe I need the proper incentive.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I actually don't know. I've been told I capture characters' voices well before, that's really nice to hear. I hope I'm improving in the description department.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably maintaining good pacing, getting from point A to point B without rushing it, and actually making myself finish what I started. I'm also a little wimp when it comes to not getting comments or bookmarks on a fic, even if it's a small fandom and it makes sense that the engagement isn't as high as I hoped.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Occupational hazard in the Star Wars and NCIS fandoms. Star Wars you're dealing with made up languages (most often for me, Mando'a) and NCIS is usually Hebrew for Ziva. Best you can do is do the research, try to fact check Google, and provide translations if needed for context in the story.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically, Harry Potter. When I was 13 I started a story that I had grand plans for, posted 2 chapters on ffn.net, and then never touched it again lol. But the ones I actually stuck with were (now really cringe) NCIS fics, and they got a decent amount of attention on that site (and even among some old ladies on Twitter that would share links sometimes, how cute is that?)

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

So far, either Mother (Star Wars) or Beautiful (X-Files), but recently I've been putting out a lot that I'm finally proud of! I'm hoping they're actually good this time, and not the "good" that I thought I was writing in 2015. I've always hoped I'd build up a base of readers that enjoy my stuff and subscribe for when I post new fics, but I don't think I'm there yet. Easier said than done, especially on Tumblr.

Tagging: @indestinatus @wanna-be-bold @ whoever else wants to do this! I'm out of touch with who writes stuff on here, and also relatively oblivious to people's blog names if I read them on AO3 haha

[sonseulsoleil]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @hmslusitania! Thanks Hayley!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

110

2. What’s your total word count on AO3?

483,852

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Whatever I am obsessed with at the moment. The last stuff I was working on was Percy Jackson fic, before that Heartstopper (and I WILL get back to those wips eventually). Oh, and Newsies is also currently in the works! Basically I have ADHD and I am all over the place all of the time. I'll go back to wips I started 5 years ago and keep working on them. What I've written vs what I've actually managed to polish and post is a HUGE disparity lol

4. Top five fics by kudos

- All We Do Is Run

- Let the Whole World Melt Away

- never saw you coming (and I'll never be the same)

- sugar, butter, flour (what a mess I'm making)

- stay in my arms if you dare (or must I imagine you there)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, almost always. It takes me awhile sometimes, but I try to respond to every comment. I worry that if I don't respond, people will stop commenting.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I've written a couple Major Character Death fics, but they're not on AO3 because they were just drabbles so I only posted them on tumblr (also they're very old and bad)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmmm maybe All We Do Is Run, just compared to the source material lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have a couple times. Mostly on fics where I've introduced OCs, which sucks.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes, sometimes. But I don't post it. I write it for myself and will maybe share it with friends if they're interested.

10. Craziest crossover?

I've never written a proper crossover. I'll write AUs where I take the characters of Property A and put them into the story of Property B, but I've never written a true crossover where characters of two properties interact.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope, but I've definitely had fic concepts stolen. Which sounds petty, but I've made posts about fics I'm working on and had people take them and write their own fics with the same details I mentioned and it's like. Not plagiarism exactly and it's impossible to own ideas, really, but it does rub me the wrong way.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple times! It's very cool!

13. Have you ever Co-written a fic?

I tried once a long time ago and it went poorly. Turns out I am not a very good collaborator sometimes.

14. All time favourite ship?

I don't--you want me to pick ONE?! are you kidding lol

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have SO MANY. There's a Star Trek fic I've been working on off and on since Beyond came out. There's my mermaid!Buck 911 fic. There's my current Heartstopper fic. There's my PJO Anastasia fic. There's my angst canon divergence Psych fic. My google drive is a graveyard of partially written stories begging to see the light of day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing things, clearly.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Depends wildly. I've written this in some Heartstopper fics, because Nick speaks French. And I had a friend who is fluent in French help me get it right. I think when people take the time to find a fluent speaker to help them or are fluent themselves, it's fine and good. And when people are just using google translate, it shows. Also, obviously, being bilingual has to make sense for the character. I also especially have beef with the way people often write latine characters/Spanish specifically. I grew up surrounded by latinos and nobody talks like that. Stop it. You all know what I'm talking about.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

ABC's Castle. Say what you will about Nathan Fillion, but that show shaped me as a person.

20. Fave fics you’ve written?

All We Do Is Run (longest multi-chap I've ever written. this thing was years of my life.)

répète (the only one of my GMW/BMW fics I regularly go back to)

tin can telephones (it's all written in texts and dialogue and that was really fun)

I'm tagging @firstelevens @memequeme @galwithalibrarycard and anyone else who wants to do it!

[melody-han-wayne]

(OOC: Update + Apology—Long Post)

So I've been pretty much non-existent for the past 4 months or so BUT I can explain!

Basically what happened is that I emigrated to not just a different country, but a different continent on literally the other side of the world from where I grew up. And I left behind all my friends and family at home, meaning I came here alone and I'm still alone and probably will be alone for as long as I remain in this new country. So for the past few months I've been dealing with moving and settling down and making plans to secure my future in this new country—heck, just making sure I can have a future in this new country. I'm more or less settled into my new life now (except for the planning for the future part) but before that I kind of forgot about Melody for a while 🫥

So anyway the guilt ate away at my subconscious and Melody's voice came to me in a dream and berated me for abandoning her, so I woke up and quickly came to check on my baby. And I realise, to my utter mortification and horror, that I never paused my Tumblr queue, so all the half-baked ideas, the rough drafts, the tentative-but-not-in-chronological-order character development, had been posting itself while I was away 🫠. So if during the past 5 months you saw my blog degenerate into a bigger and bigger mess and wondered "What the heck is going on"—it's not you, it's me. Right now I'm just trying to salvage what I can of my blog (and my dignity) and reorganise everything I originally planned for Melody (tbh I forgot half of it but I'm sure the memories are in here somewhere, I just have to clean out the dust and oil the gears first).

Honestly I have no idea how many people follow(ed) Melody's story, I might as well be posting into the void for all I know. But like so many of the other RPers on this blog I started because I was bored and had some ideas in my head that wouldn't leave me alone, and over time I became attached to my OC and her story (perhaps unhealthily so). That's part of the reason why I decided not to just delete my blog and make my absence permanent. Because working on this self-indulgent project used to make me happy, and because I still have some ideas I want to share with whoever might be lurking around. Another reason is because of the community that welcomed me and that I personally watched grow. Even when this blog was at its 'most active' I probably didn't interact with other RPers as much as I should/could have (again, it's not you, it's me) but what little interaction we did have I truly did enjoy as we built and connected our own stories and characters while also interpreting the DC ones. I don't think I've said this before, and I don't think I'll ever say it enough, but really, thank you all for being willing to indulge me and play with me. This has been a lovely space to be in, and you guys combined are like 80% of the reason ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@florence-wayne-official @kit-the-nonbinary-wayne @that-one-gotham-kid @amira-wayne-al-ghul @warren-wayne-kyle @teagrayson + anyone I missed, knowing the rate at which this community grows there's bound to be at least one person I didn't tag (it's not a snub—again, not you, it's me and my bad memory—please don't be offended 🥺)

((idk if tagging everyone is proper etiquette after my prolonged absence, I was just going to say 'you know who you are' at first and leave it at that but I'm not sure if you guys actually know who you are 😅 so if I'm breaking some kind of unspoken Tumblr code of etiquette I apologise again))

(((I didn't mean for that above note to sound as rude as it did)))

ANYWAYS if you've read past the wall of text above to make it down here congratulations and thank you, I'll be doing my best to clean up/revise my blog and my OC and her story in the coming weeks and hopefully get some sort of continuity back on track :) I'm also trying to figure out what happened in the rest of the RP community in my absence so if I reply to a three-month-old post now: once again, it's not you, it's me, and there's totally no obligation to engage with.

Can't wait to hang out with the Batfamily again ☺️ plus all my RP siblings, half-siblings, future siblings, stepsiblings, undead siblings etc XD

[anawrites3]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I got tagged by @zeroducks-2, thanks love 💕💕 Sorry it took me so long to answer -3-

How many works do you have on AO3? It's 44 (+1 unrevealed)! And 19 of that are DC fics

What’s your total A03 word count? 163,947 I need to post more on ao3, huh

What fandoms do you write for? Mostly DC rn, tho I have a few fics for COD

What are your top five fics by kudos? on this account all of those are bakudeku because I've been very deep in the fandom until last year lmao so I'm going to cheat a little :3 and list the ones from DC fandom to self-promote myself a little 😂

1. taking a break (alone, please) at 345! I'm really happy with that and quite surprised because it's the very first proper sladick fic I wrote! Dick gets hurt during a mission so Slade takes him somewhere to take care of the wound and maybe have a little fun while he's at that. The only problem is that Dick's comm gets turned on at some point.

2. unexpectedly beneficial at 289. This is surprise since it's a New Year fic and those, in my experience, never get that much kudso lmao It's also my second fic! Dick's stuck at Brucie's New Year Eve's party. Slade comes over to keep him company

3. bunny-shaped trouble at 230 kudos, the idea came from Claudia who sent me a prompt 💕 Dick gets turned into a bunny and takes the opportunity to annoy the hell out of Slade

4. persistence at 219! This was my entry for sladerobin week and for some reason I was very anxious so I'm glad its so high in the ranks Dick goes on an undercover mission, where he has to seduce the target. Slade isn't very happy about that.

5. conflict resolution at 217 kudos! It's the first part of the series and well, let's be honest, compared to the rest (that is posted here on tumblr now, im working on it to post it properly on ao3) it isn't very exciting but I still love it and I'm happy it's so high as well! King Slade Wilson offers the way to stop the war between Gotham and Defiance. He will stop the attacks if prince Richard becomes his royal consort.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I always do!! Sometimes it just takes me longer (like rn oops) but I always make sure to respond to comments and show people how much I appreciate them taking the moment to share their thoughts with me 💕💕

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? It's definitely keeping what's mine because Dick is having awful time in this one, to the point that I tagged it as hurt/no comfort because well, Dick is hurt and doesnt get any comfort. I mean, he kind of does? But it doesnt actually comfort him so yeah 😂

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I write a lot of fluff so this is actually a very difficult question lmao but I would say it's (not) willing to share which is a short domestic fluff. And Dick has a cat so that's very happy for me haha

Do you get hate on your fic? I do not, actually! And I'm a little surprised by it because sladick and batkids ships gets hated on a lot

Do you write smut? More and more lately

Do you write crossovers? Not really right now, no

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Thankfully no or at least I dont know about it lol

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic? Not yet but I think it would be really fun!

What‘s your all-time favourite ship? I have one of those for every fandom I'm in lmao and right now it's sladick

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Gosh, don't say that lmao! Buut *looks quickly through the list of my wips* probably the one I named "the middle of the night" which is like,,, undercover mision identity porn masquerade ball sladick story that Im very exciting about but for some reason I just keep moving it down on my list of wips sooo... yeah. Maybe cause masquerade balls need a lot of dance descriptions and I suck at that lmao

What’s your writing strengths? Writing dialogue! I like it a lot and I've been told I'm good at it :3

What’s your writing weaknesses? Actually sitting down to start writing 😂 and more complicated descriptions like fights or dances and stuff like that, I'm still working on it

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I like it a lot actually but not if there's too much of it - just a few sentences are enough or just a few words thrown here and there, and there needs to be translation somewhere in the fic, in the notes or something because people should know what the characters are saying but yeah, I like how it directly shows that someone is speaking in another language instead of writing "he cursed in russian" or other stuff like that

First fandom you wrote for? *hides my face into my hands* Strawberry Shortcake probably... from when I was still a babey...

Favourite fic you’ve ever written? sun and sunflower, a little brudick story about Bruce being smitten and a coward

Tagging time! @roipecheur @wingdingery @blackbeanbao @enak-s and anyone who'd like to do it as well!

[lynchbothers]

top 9 books ✨️

@lvnchs tagged me to post my top 9 (all time favourite) books; different books by the same author count as one book, that's them rules afshdjfk 🤭

don't expect any proper thoughts about any of these, i'll just go !!! and afshdk because not to be like that but i'm henry cheng when it comes to stuff like this haha

1. all for the game by nora sakavic

neil "i'm fine" josten my beloved, he has a bit of an attitude problem and also you know, he gets it !!! (if you've never read this series before i don't recommend it but if you did let's be best buds lmao)

2. six of crows duology/ninth house by leigh bardugo

my favourite type of men are bloodied and beaten bastards and especially bastards of the barrel !! i just love all the characters and their relationships and how they develop over the span of the books and the magic, magic immer gut !!

and yeah i'm obviously a very character driven story loving person, ninth house is once again a perfect example for that; i love the magic and the death words and all that kind of stuff !

3. the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater

not to repeat myself but once again it's the characters that make me love those books so much, obviously ronan my bestest beloved;

4. malibu rising/the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid

taylor jenkins read is one of my favourite authors of all time, when she publishes a new book it's an immediate buy (excluding that one mess of a book); i love how she created her own universe and how characters from each book show up in other books of hers; i love the riva family but i'm a proud member of the mick riva hate club 👋🏻; the seven husbands of evelyn hugo is amazing, i loved getting to know evelyn and her story, her various husbands and her wife 🥺

5. the starless sea/the night circus by erin morgenstern

i love books that make me go !!! and erin morgernstern's books always make me go !!! afshdjfk the night circus is a favourite because of the atmosphere and the different circus characters and seeing how everything comes together and the starless sea does kind of the same but on a different level, i think, i recently reread it and i just... idk it's so much fun to read it for the first time and trying to see how everything connects and then you read it again and you know how everything connects and it makes you go !!! and yeah

6. in memoriam by alice winn

definitely one of my favourite books i've read this year; fair warning though: don't get attached to any characters 🫠

7. little fires everywhere/everything i never told you by celeste ng

one of my favourite authors as well (excluding that one book again atshdkf); i love getting to know (fucked up) families and see their dynamics playing out throughout a book

8. the hunger games trilogy by suzanne collins

every couple of years i reread it after seeing one too many masterposts and rants etc on tumblr and spiral and i love that for me, honestly

9. heartstopper series by alice oseman

i just 🥺 they make me feel warm and i love that i love healthy and loving and communicating gays and not just bastard gays haha not but seriously, these books are amazing and they cover important topics very well and i wish i had them when i was a baby gay but i'm glad i have them now

i tag @floralotp @foolishlovers @ltpolari @holyshit @goldenxsunshine @proudlarents and any of my followers who are bookworms and want to do this (because i love getting book recs and also people talking about their favourite things !!) 🩷

[halucygeno]

Mental health vent: on being neurodivergent, Kokobot and counterproductive “help”

So, I recently looked up the #Depression tag and was immediately messaged by Kokobot, Tumblr’s officially partnered mental health counselling provider. In typical late-capitalist fashion, it was absolutely atrocious at its job, and not-so-secretly a scheme to harvest people’s user data. User @viridianriver​ made a fantastic post where they summarise the issue better than I ever could, give it a read:

https://www.tumblr.com/viridianriver/722834494910038016/kokobot-the-airbnb-owned-tech-startup-data?source=share

Highly unethical shit and revolting all around. Whoever from Tumblr staff decided this was a good idea should be fuckin’ ashamed of themselves.

But this saccharine, performatively gentle parasite of a bot made me reflect on some of the ways people in real life have failed me when I’ve brought up my mental health problems. Aside from the struggle of finding a therapist who understands my style of thinking and the type of guidance I need (I’ve been through 4 different ones), I’ve often ran into an invisible wall when openly speaking to friends and family.

I’ve been meaning to write something like this for a while, and Kokobot gave me the push to articulate some of my observations - about what is helpful, what isn’t helpful, and some general patterns in how people have addressed my mental illness.

Anyway, here’s my honest advice:

[DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional. This is just an opinion based on my personal experience. Take everything I say with a tablespoon of salt.]

Seek out other people who have struggled with the same (or similar) problems as you. These are the people who are best equipped to empathise with you and see things from your perspective. I know it may sound impossible at first, but you gotta try.  

If your school / university has a counselling service, see if they run any support groups. If not, check to see if there’s something hosted independently by students or local organisations. You preferably want to talk to someone you can trust, like a family member, friend or close colleague. If there is absolutely nobody in your real-life environment you can turn to, then confiding in a stranger online is a “good enough” substitute. Obviously, maintain a good level of caution when speaking to anyone you don’t know - don’t reveal identifying information like photos, names or addresses. If your problems involve something very specific or personal, use analogies and fake names.

The reason I put emphasis on contacting others who have gone through similar issues is that people without that perspective, even if well-intentioned, can actually worsen the situation with their attempts to help.

For example, if you speak openly about your suicidal thoughts (even if you make it very clear that it’s only casual suicidal ideation, with no clear “plan” or strong compulsion to actually do it), people may panic and call emergency services, which can lead to you having to spend half an hour explaining to confused cops and medics: “no, I’m fine, I’m not about to kill or injure yourself, the caller misunderstood me, no, I don’t need a Diazepam injection, no, I don’t want to see a physician...” and so on.

Trying to open up to people who lack the proper perspective will, ironically, increase your frustration and isolation as they adopt an overprotective, patronising attitude. Your negative thoughts will be treated as aberrant and pathological (even if they are well articulated and backed with arguments), and therefore quickly dismissed as “the illness talking”. The condition will basically be used to discredit your autonomy of beliefs, and you will be pressured to adopt the standard, “healthy” attitudes and desires.

Paradoxically, while acting as if your mental illness has completely taken over your thoughts, they will also heavily underestimate its severity and treat it as an issue of “willpower”. You may hear suggestions for things like mindfulness exercises, breathing techniques, meditation, a healthier diet, homeopathic treatments, etc. While these may help in some cases (especially eating healthy), they completely ignore the fact that people on the spectrum or with attention disorders may be straight-up neurologically incapable of focusing on some of these these tasks. (This is anecdotal, but I have attempted about a dozen guided meditations + yoga, and each time it feels like being put in a straightjacket while some pretentious twat tries to gaslight me about what I’m feeling to the tune of the most annoying, cliche “relaxation” music imaginable. It’s impossible to feel anything other than frustration.)

The worst part about this is that these very deliberate displays of “care” and “sympathy” usually dehumanise you by refusing to meet you where you’re at and discuss things on your own terms.

If you’re feeling depressed because of socio-political issues like climate change, racism, economic exploitation and inequality, instead of helping you channel your frustration into action - telling you how to network with local activists, offering to read political theory with you, etc. - they will view the social concern itself as the issue and nudge you towards supressing it (saying things like “focus on your own life, then worry about politics”). Instead of trying to politically empower you, they want you to surrdener to disempowering political apathy.

If you’re feeling depressed due to difficulties with an academic or personal project, you’ll hear vague non-advice like “be kind to yourself” and “don’t push yourself too hard”, with zero actual interest in learning about the specifics of what you’re struggling with. If you’re a writer, for example, these people won’t bother to read your work, and if you ask them to give you some feedback on a draft, they’ll agree before procrastinating it into oblivion.

And don’t even get me started if your sadness stems from philosophical reflections. Most people are extremely illiterate in even conversational-level philosophy, making constant appeals to anecdotes, mysticism and “common sense”. It’s often a struggle to get them to question something they take for granted, much less make them logically evaluate the coherency of a philosophical principle.

You get the point. People say they want to help, but they seemingly want to do that without making any commitments or getting to know anything difficult about you. They can be incredibly overbearing in terms of suggesting broad, overarching lifestyle changes, but when it comes to specific habits and behaviours you yourself want to change, where you could really use a bit of coaching or encouragement, they don’t even examine it.

I understand that the kind of help I’m asking for is incredibly labour intensive and difficult - especially if someone is struggling with a highly technical skill (in which case it may be downright impossible; how are you supposed to help a friend stuck on a programming task without being a programmer yourself)? But if these people are not willing to do that, then the least they can do is shut up with their patronising self-help platitudes. It feels more alienating and depressing to constantly hear stock responses like “it will get better” than just not talking about it at all.

So yeah, look for others who have gone through the same thing. Seek practical, actionable advice instead of vague, feel-good nonsense. Don’t bother talking to those who obtusely fail to understand your condition and condescend to you - it will just exhaust you.

Those are my two cents, and better mental health advice than anything Kokobot will ever give you. Peace.