#also his 'weapon' that he had on hand was a fucking broom

[mothsandbees]

Anyways I think it's so funny when ppl say that their tav was doing some mundane shit when they got wormed. Like my main guy got alien beamed up or whatever when he was doing groceries.

[tw1l1te]

Ooohh , I just read about the flustered links reacting to showing skin and flirty-ness (it’s great!), but how do you think Legend or Four would react? For some reason I feel like Legend would be really surprised initially and caught off guard, but then get used to it pretty fast. For Four, (going with the concept that he is four people in one) I feel like, from his sides, Red would be flustered, Green would try to act respectfully and avert his gaze, Blue would blush, but would try to not bring attention to it and act normally, and Vio would be 100% unaffected. Meaning that Four is a mess or reactions all at once.

Ugh I'm having so much Legend brainrot rn :>

I feel like Legend is the more suave one in this scenario. He's used to people being flirty with him, sexual innuendos, yada yada. But when it's you that insinuates that? He's smitten, turned on, all of the above.

Four is kinda similar in the sense that he hears sooo much stuff about people's sex lives in the blacksmith shop, like an ungodly amount, so he doesn't really react to it much. The colors internally are wreaking havoc mentally, though.

Here's some scenarios for the two<3

Legend

He was sewing up Wild's tunic after dinner, as the fabric was so full of holes, it was hardly a piece of clothing.

You wandered off to go wash up in the nearby stream

The group setup camp for the night, so everyone was taking inventory of weapons and food and doing whatever hygiene/self care regimes that needed to be done

Mistakingly, however, you grabbed Legend's spare clothes instead of your own. Of course you fucking did.

Your presense was made known with a wolf whistle from Wars, causing Legend to look up from his work, choking on his spit when he noticed what you were wearing.

You were wearing his dark green long tunic and shorts, hair loose from your typical up-do.

Mother of- seeing you wearing his clothes was doing something to him. He felt... hot. His mouth was dry, eyes glued onto your form. The clothes were a bit big on you, your neck and shoulders exposed to him.

"Sorry, I meant to grab my own clothes but it seems like I accidentaly took yours. I can go change-"

"Don't. Please don't."

Oh. Oh. Oh-

A sly smile spread on your lips, Legend already regretting his vocal admittance.

You sit next to him, head on his shoulder. Breathing on to his neck, you whisper "You like me in your clothes don't you? Why don't we see how much you like me without them."

Four

He was hammering away at a sword, sheltered from the downpour outside. The others were in the other room, looking over their materials and planning next steps for their journey

Suddenly the door slams open, you standing thoroughly soaked through from the rain.

"Holy- What were you doing out there?! Get in get in-"

Four quickly places the hot blade somewhere safe so either of you don't get burnt or catch something on fire.

Four runs to the broom closet, grabbing an old blanket to warm you with, coming back to you and bundling you in it, but not before noticing that you had been wearing all white meaning-

Meaning he could see everything

The curve of your chest, the outline of your hips, even your dark green lacy panties that he bought for you a month ago

"I-uh was out doing some errands and somehow took the long way back and I got lost. Also, got caught in the storm, as you can obviously tell.

He clears his throat, trying to avoid gazing downwards, which was done not very subtly at all. He was practically looking at the ceiling.

"-Ah you can see everything, can you?"

He nods, ears burning red.

"I probably shouldn't wear all white when I know its going to rain, that's my bad. Although..."

You place a delicate hand on his chest, playing with a button on his tunic, his heart hammering hundreds of miles a second and the colors were going haywire-

"I do like the color of panties you chose for me. Why don't we go see how the others you bought look on me, hm?"

teehee :3

[freewilllife]

Mu Qing and Hua Cheng and that old tale of classism

It is one of MQ´s sins that he upholds classism in regard to HC

I am always amazed how burthurt some people act, because they cannot accept that Xie Lian used to be pretty superficial.

Yes, both FX and MQ were not keen that HC stayed, but nobody can prevent XL from doing something he wants. If he had desperately wanted HC to stay with him in the palace after he had rescued him, HC would have stayed. But he was uninteresting to XL, therefore he was handed to FX in order to get rid of him.

People just hate to be reminded of it and therefore, they ask actually...who was worse of...the one who had not to know-tow to others, but was bloody poor with no person to care for or the one who had a blind mother, who was relentlessly bullied and hated due to classism and was living in a not exactly secure position from whom he could have removed at any moment, if XL had just desired it?

Yes, MQ was maybe from a similar background, even though it is also possible that HC had lived in a better house before he left his family.

And when has XL ever listened to Mu Qing? MQ´s opinion was mostly ignored by XL throughout the whole flash-backs. MQ was neither overly kind to HC, but he also was not cruel to him either. He showed even a little more empathy in regard to the child, than the other two.

(Just because HC is not able to realize that it was most likely more kindness to throw him - a 15 year old teenager that has had hardly any kind of training- out of the army in a bloody war where people died like flies, doesn´t mean that his version is indeed correct. Enlisting a person that is not yet an adult would be usually criticized, but because XL thinks it is alright, then it is alright, I guess. )

So to make it bloody obvious: XL was not interested in Hong that used to be HC...He used to always forget that he had even met him before...He is the crown prince of Xianle, who could have easily changed HC´s fate but he kept forgetting him, because to him, he was not important enough to even remember him.

But no..it is of course MQ´s fault, who was still bullied due to classism and was still dependent on XL´s goodwill for quite some time in the past.

By the way HC is not bound by his upbringing anymore, because nobody knows, who the heck he even is (apart of a few selected people who looked at his glorious paintings), while everybody knows MC´s origin even after 800 years. Even after so much time people make fun of him and keep reminding him with a broom, what his standing used to be...a servant. So he is still a victim of classism in a world that is full to the brim with generals and princes.

HC has created a marvelous new system or ends classism

He is the ghost king in whose city human beings are chopped and he has subordinates like any of the gods who shut up, if he wants to...heck he even benefits from the same source (the believers) like the gods...

So what glorious society are you talking about? He is obviously upholding a caste system with him at the top...as he is a king...

MQ regards HC as suspicious, just because...

If you think like that, then you must have overread the part, where it is stated that HC clearly attacked FX and MQ several times without mercy...I mean, Pei Ming literally called these both gods that they should testify if Eming the weapon of HC was involved and they both testified...

With other words MQ and FX are treated like experts regarding the involvement of HC...so they must have battled with him quite often. And both are very afraid of HC...MQ was literally so afraid of HC that his first reaction when he heard of the silver butterflies is running away (in the form of Fu Yao).

I guess nearly dying could be a reason MQ considers HC to be suspicious, above else for XL who was fucked over by a previous calamity...Anybody remembers...white-no-face?

People even from similar backgrounds can have quite literally different living conditions

People are different and they do react differently. Further people love to blame MQ, who used to have clearly less power than XL, because they are not able to understand that all three people have their faults, even the glorious MC Xie Lian, who used to be pretty superficial...and who could have changed HC´s fate easily, but he did not, because HC was not interesting enough to him back them.

HC and MQ are two different sides of the same coin. HC had not the possibilities of MQ, since XL was not interested in him early on and kept forgetting him. MQ has suffered from classism even after he became a god.

[twotangledsisters]

How would it have been had Caine been in the very first fic that covered the Tangled movie?

Casually opens up AUs in the AU folder and adds a new folder

This is what WIPs look like in their very messy first draft form but I was too inspired to just answer this question normally with like a few bullet points so enjoy:

Okay, so I’m picturing Caine chilling in her base when she’s told she’s got a visitor who claims to be an old friend.

Flynn Rider… long time no see.

“What brings you around these parts, Flynn?” Caine acts stern because that’s just how small talk in the criminal world works.

“The Stabbingtons.”

“What about ‘em?”

“They got arrested yesterday.”

“Surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”

“Which means I need a new associate for a mission.”

“I’m listening.”

“I think you know the one…”

Caine’s struggling to hold back a smile.

“Wanna help an old friend out and make some royals cry in the process?”

“Fuck yeah I do.”

They steal the crown; they flee Corona.

Flynn and Caine go way back, they care for each other, as much as criminals are allowed to, and because of that and a bit of fear, neither of them betray the other.

Axel helps them escape but Maximus is still on their tail, that is until Axel comes to a sudden break to avoid crashing into a stone wall and both thiefs go flying through some vines.

Axel assumes they just vanished and moves on with his life. Caine has an opening for a new horse associate. Thankfully Flynn has the crown and there’s a tower perfect for hiding in!

Because the race was different the timing at which they arrive in the tower is different. Nobody’s knocked out with a frying pan but they do come face to face with two young women ready to defend their territory.

Caine managed to get Rapunzel against a wall, knife to her neck. Flynn has his back to another wall, Cassandra has a weapon pointed at him.

Negotiations may commence.

Caine is born and raised in Corona, she knows the royal family oh too well and it only takes a name to realise who the blonde is and for a moment she’s tempted to end her here and there, but then the other women would probably kill Flynn and the blonde looks frightened and is mumbling on about lights and dreams and how she really, really wants to know how grass feels and something about ruffians and how they don’t have weapons to fight the ruffians—weapons.

“Flynn… I have a knife to this woman’s neck.”

“Yeah. Great. But I also have a weapon pointed at me so maybe… be nice?”

“What weapon is it?” Caine asked.

Flynn looks down realising the thing pointed at him is no more than a broken broom. Cassandra though snatched Flynn’s own knife and puts it to his throat. “A knife,” Flynn answers Caine’s previous question. “At least it is now.”

Caine isn’t happy.

Eventually Caine and Cassandra agree to lower and drop their weapons on the count of three. One… Two… Three…

Neither woman drops the weapon.

“I didn’t trust you.”

“Same.”

“Hey,” Rapunzel laughed, “At least you’re finding things in common? That’s the first step to bonding! Are we bonding? I think we’re bonding!”

Hours pass and both Caine and Cassandra’s hands are getting tired, neither women is used to finding someone equally stubborn.

They try to make the same deal again. One… Two… Three…

Neither woman drops the weapon.

“Oh, come on!” Flynn is tired.

“Our Mother will come home eventually so… it may take days but we are the ones who will win if nobody moves,” Rapunzel pointed out, leaving out the fact Gothel would absolutely not let anything bad happen to Rapunzel.

Finally, it’s Caine who drops her weapon.

Cassandra drops hers after Caine.

Rapunzel and Flynn are relieved.

“Sooo… can I get you two tea?” Rapunzel offers.

The four sit and have some tea and chat. Flynn tells the two girls about how he and Caine are adventurers and they were just exploring the forest and exploring what they assumed was an abandoned tower and meant no harm at all.

Rapunzel seems to soak up every word, asking him many questions about the world beyond the tower.

Caine had her arms crossing and is assessing the fact she, she of all people, found the lost princess and is now going to have to make a decision about what the fuck to do with this information. Cassandra seems to be messing around with something under the table.

Caine is worried it’s a weapon.

Until Cassandra pulls out a piece of paper. “Hah! You’re not adventurers! You’re criminals!”

Flynn notices he’s satchel is missing.

Caine wonders how Flynn is still alive.

“Ooooh? Fellow criminals!” Rapunzel smiled. “We’re criminals too.”

“You are?” Flynn raises a brow.

“Yeah, tell ‘em Cass!”

Cassandra frowned then goes onto explain a hilariously bad misinterpretation of the law and how “it’s illegal for children to be alone at home… which we were a lot.”

Caine watches Cassandra and wants to call the young woman dumb… but instead she nods. “Yeah… I broke that law a lot too.”

Cassandra seems comforted by Caine’s understanding.

Rapunzel, who in her understanding just made two new super awesome criminal friends, then asks the strangers for a favour, for them to help them see the lights!

Flynn explains Corona isn’t the best place to be when wanted but for some reason Caine agrees to do it. She knows Corona, knows the underground tunnels and knows the perfect spot to go watch them without getting caught.

In exchange Caine gets to use the tower as a hide-out whenever she’s on the run, it’s not a very good deal for Caine, but she has to at least pretends there’s a reason she’s being nice.

Caine doesn’t tell Flynn about Rapunzel being the lost princess, she realises doing so may lead the man to returning her, because of the reward money but also because Flynn had, at least in their youth, often longed for a second chance. This could be his. But Caine couldn’t be a part of giving the royal family their lost daughter back when they were the reason Caine’s family had fallen apart. She just wasn’t willing.

But on their way to Corona the girls do most of the talking and the picture they paint of their life and childhood is not a pretty one.

The lights!

Rapunzel is running to the edge of the small island Caine brought them to to get the best possible view, Flynn by her side. They like each other, it’s clear for anybody to see it and it sickens both Cassandra and Caine.

Cassandra, on the other hand stands back, she watched them but with a sad energy to her.

Caine asks what’s wrong and Cassandra explains how they’re just another way Rapunzel’s special… and she’s not. In need of a distraction Cassandra asks Caine what the lights mean?

Caine explains about the Lost Princess but without naming her and without giving any clues to indicate it was Rapunzel other than them sharing a birthday.

“So, these lights represent hope?”

Caine hummed.

“It’s really pretty that the king and queen still hold so much hope and love for that princess even all these years later…”

Caine frowned. “I think it’s unfair.”

Cassandra looks at Caine in confusion.

“They have so much. They have riches, power, every comfort one could ask for. They don’t have to worry where a meal is going to come from. They’re protected. Not everybody whom they’re sworn to protect is so lucky. And on top of that they get hope? Hope, the thing they ripped away from so many families!” Caine’s hands are fists.“They cry over the family they lost, but they ripped apart families, cutting the lives of mere thieves short, mere thieves with wives and… daughters.”

Cassandra’s hand moves over Caine’s. “I’m so sorry they did that to you.”

Caine’s eyes moved up to Cassandra’s.

With no Stabbingtons to interrupt New Dream are kissing somewhere in the background.

Caine almost kisses Cassandra (probably for the best she doesn’t though cause Cassandra is still pretty confused about romance)—but they’re interrupted by Gothel!

Who I think brought guards? Trusting the guards to arrest the criminals and be stupid enough to not realise the blonde with seventy feet of blonde hair is a bit odd because honestly they can sometimes be a bit… useless.

And for a moment it looks like her plan will work, Gothel is holding her daughters close to her who both look frightened and confused, probably expecting to be arrested as nobody has taken the time to explain Cassandra’s misinterpretation of child neglect laws.

Flynn is shouting about Gothel being a bad mother but the guards aren’t listening.

Caine knows what to say to make them listen. “That’s the lost princess.”

Dramatic add break as the screen fades to black!

Screen slowly fades back in.

“Explain,” Captain is the first to speak.

“Gladly.” And Caine does.

Cassandra looks to her mother, hoping Gothel can refute what Caine just said, but Gothel doesn’t. Instead, she pulls a knife, which she holds to Cassandra’s neck. “Well, I think that’s enough adventuring for one lifetime girls. How about we leave the guards to their arrests and they let us leave because they don’t want your blood on their hands?”

Gothel is dragging the two girls away in tears.

Axel is there to carry the three.

Damn horse, found a new job already.

Captain realises he and the other guards stand no chance of following due to the loud chunky armour, but there are two people who do.

They release the two thieves.

Eugene randomly tells Caine his real name as they’re following Gothel, you know, in case they die trying to fight a witch.

Caine calls his name stupid.

Eugene asks about Caine's first name.

Caine promises it’s less stupid than Eugene but doesn’t tell him.

There’s an epic rescue, somebody probably dies and gets revived, somebody cuts that blonde hair, Gothel definitely dies and gets no revival. But the point is they go back to Corona so Rapunzel can meet her parents, Cassandra can lie in a corner and cry for a week as she processes how bad her mother was and Eugene can get a taste of castle living!

There’s a hug! Except… it doesn’t get to last long, as when Arianna tries to thank Caine, the woman just starts screaming at her and letting out years of anger.

Like, she just stands there screaming at the royal family for a solid half an hour minimum and Arianna doesn’t let anybody intervene because screaming isn’t illegal and this young woman risked her life to bring her daughter back the least she can do is listen.

Caine tired herself out and Arianna asks Caine to help them help others like her.

Caine wants to say no, to tell the royals to fuck off.

But then Cassandra looks at her, and with one word, she’s convinced her. “Please?”

Caine and Cassandra are a cute co-op law-changing team.

New Dream makes bets on how long they’re going to take to start dating, when will the first kiss be, who confesses to the other, etc.

Everybody lives happily ever after!

You know… until Rapunzel touches black rocks, and then the politics of the other kingdoms, and Equis start burning people, and the moonstone stuff and AGH! All that bs.

[escudofracturado]

TIMING: Early November LOCATION: Felix & Milo's Apartment PARTIES: Felix (@recoveringdreamer) & Milo (@escudofracturado) (with a small cameo from @letsbenditlikebennett & @magmahearts) SUMMARY: While cooking dinner, Felix hears something in one of the cabinets and alerts Milo. What they had thought was just a run-of-the-mill pest turns out to be a little more. CONTENT WARNINGS: Mentions of self-harm in passing

Felix was pretty sure they had mice. Or… something. They’d asked Penelope her opinion on it, but she hadn’t seemed particularly interested in answering with anything more than a quiet mew before going back to her dinner, and Kida had been similarly tight-lipped. Which might have just been because Felix couldn’t actually talk to cats but, hey, stranger things had definitely happened, hadn’t they? He wouldn’t even be surprised anymore.

The nest of socks and t-shirts they’d found stuffed in a corner by the couch had been… weird for a mouse, but they couldn’t imagine Milo had done it. And when they heard a rustling in the cabinet while cooking dinner, they were sure it must be the rodent. They turned to Milo, motioning to the cabinet adamantly. “There’s — I think there’s a rat,” they stage-whispered, as if the animal might hear them and scurry off to protect its identity. “Can you get a broom or something? We’ll chase it off.”

—

Milo looked up from the pot he was stirring, a questioning noise leaving his throat. A beat later, he actually processed the words said. “Oh, fuck. Got it.“ He turned the burner off, covering and moving the pot to one of the unused burners before tiptoeing over to grab both the broom and the mop, passing one over to Felix.

Despite what some might've thought, given he was a lifelong New Yorker, he didn't have much experience with pests of the rodent variety. The only rats he'd seen had either been pets, been outside, or in subway stations. He had, however, had two or three run-ins with mice. One had seemingly come out of nowhere whilst there had been building renovations, and, thankfully, Kida had swiftly taken care of it. Meanwhile, the other seemed to be living in his previous apartment when he and his roommates had moved in. That situation had also involved some brooms, and even a hockey stick, plus a lot of panicked yelling. Milo was not excited to be having a similar experience with Felix, but hopefully he wouldn't be as freaked out, at least.

”You wanna maybe open it on the count of three?“ he asked, keeping his voice low.

–

Felix took the mop they were handed with a serious expression, looking to the world like a person prepared to march into battle. They thought about shifting, just a little — enough to grant themself the ability to sniff out the rat or see it moving with a little more ease — but they didn’t want to out themself to their roommate so unexpectedly. Sure, they’d tell Milo about the jaguar eventually, but… probably not for a rat situation. 

Steeling themself, Felix gave Milo a very serious nod. “On the count of three,” he agreed. Reaching out, the balam gripped the cabinet’s handle tightly, knuckles white with the force of it. “One…” They breathed, closing their eyes. “Two…” Their whole body tensed, the hand not holding the cabinet’s handle brandishing the mop in front of them like a weapon. “Three!” They swung the cabinet door open, letting out a yell as they brought the mop’s handle down to point at…

Something that was definitely not a rat.

It was about two feet tall, its long ears hanging down to its feet and its sharp teeth flashing as it looked between the two roommates. It looked both scared and angry, like a wild animal… which was something Felix knew an awful lot about. Which meant they knew exactly what a wild animal would do in this situation. “Oh, shit! Milo, look out!”

—

He was holding the broom out in both hands as if it were a fucking longsword, prepared for Felix's countdown. However, he was not prepared for what they saw when they flung open the cabinet. 

It took him a second just to process exactly what he was seeing, and then Milo could only stare, brows furrowed in confusion as he actually tried to make sense of what the fuck he was looking at. It sure as shit wasn't a rat or a mouse or any normal kind of rodent or pest. At least, not any kind that he was aware of. The thing was fucking huge, it came up to at least knee-length and slightly fuzzy, with long floppy ears. And it was baring some very pointy looking teeth at them. Fucking hell. 

His eyes flicked over to his roommate as he voiced his confusion. ”What the fuck—“ But looking away from it was a mistake. 

There was movement from the corner of his eye, and then Felix was yelling, and he looked over to watch as the creature leapt at him, his heart leaping right along with it. It dug its claws into his abdomen and sent him stumbling backwards with a yelp. Milo hit the floor hard, head and back smacking against the kitchen tile, as the thing landed right on top of him, still clinging tight. That was about when the awful stench hit his nostrils. It smelled like something was of rotting, and it made his stomach churn. He let out a groan, but before he could actually do anything, there was a sharp pain shooting out from his stomach. 

”¡Maldita mierda!“ he hissed, beginning to swat at it. It bit him! ”¡Vete! Get off!“

—

The thing dove for Milo, and Felix’s warning didn’t reach their roommate quickly enough to save him from the creature’s attack. The yelp the attack elicited from the younger man seemed to echo throughout the apartment, leaving Felix momentarily stunned as Milo was flung back with the not-mouse on top of him. “Oh, shit!”

It bit him. The giant mouse that wasn’t a mouse bit Milo, and Felix found themself seriously hoping that this wasn’t a werewolf situation because they had no idea what they were supposed to do if Milo ended up turning into a knee-high ear monster who stole socks and lived in cabinets once a month. But… they did have some idea of what they could do now. 

With a loud battle cry, the balam surged forward and whacked the creature with their mop. It let out a screech, turning its attention from Milo to its attacker, and Felix realized that they probably hadn’t thought things through when it launched itself at him instead. 

Teeth sunk into Felix’s shoulder, and they yelped, jumping back. The thing held on tight, its strong jaw locked in. “Ow, ow, ow! Stop biting me! Who bites people?” They punctuated the question by smacking at it with their hand. “Milo are you — ow, stop it! — are you good, dude? I think this thing is going to eat me, so it was really nice knowing you.”

—

Slightly dazed and annoyed, Milo wasn't very keyed into what Felix was doing, though he had to, internally, nod his head in agreement at his roommate's reaction of 'Oh, shit.'  The creature wasn't very heavy, but his stumble had knocked the air out of him, and the thing was holding on tight. He was sure swatting at it wasn't the best method of getting it to let go, but he was panicking somewhat. It wasn't every day that a little gremlin thing fucking bit you. His attention quickly shifted to Felix, however, when they let out a yell.

He couldn't help but flinch as they brought down the mop toward him, though, thankfully, their aim was true, and they bonked the creature right on the back. The cry it let out was unpleasant, but it seemed to do the trick as the thing finally pulled away from Milo, releasing its grasp on him. It brought immediate relief as the unpleasant feeling of little claws digging into his skin disappeared. 

Unfortunately for Felix, this only made the creature leap at them instead.

He had to bite back a laugh as they reprimanded the creature, though he couldn't help himself from making a stupid comment in agreement. "Terrible manners," he nodded as he picked himself up off of the floor. But he couldn't help his laughter at their next words, a slightly hysterical edge to it as the insanity of the situation mixed with the adrenaline now pumping through him. "I'm fine, nothing too bad. Think it'll take more than this one lil dude to actually eat you," he joked, collecting his broom off of the floor.

He wasn't entirely sure how to handle this situation. Obviously, step one was getting the thing off of Felix, but he didn't know the best way to do that. This wasn't a normal kind of pest, and he wasn't even very good at dealing with those in a collected manner, much less their weird Wicked's Rest's equivalents. However, at least then he had been able to set down magical traps. Eyes darting around the room, he desperately tried to find a solution to their problem. 

After a moment of absolutely nothing coming to mind while the creature continued to bite Felix, Milo shifted uncertainly before trying to talk to the thing. "Hey, can you, like, understand us?" He felt insane, but he also had the tendency to name and talk to inanimate objects, and at least like 70% of his friends in this fucking town either weren't human or had some kind of strange powers, so, maybe the little gremlin that was in their cabinet could understand English. He didn't fucking know. "We're not tryna hurt you, bud."

Looking at Felix, he gave them a shrug and a grimace as if to say, 'I'm sorry, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here.'

—

The little guy’s teeth were sharp, like razors sinking into the skin. If it had been bigger, it might have been a real problem. Instead, given the kind of things Felix was used to having bite them, it felt more like a minor inconvenience. They shook their body, trying desperately to shake the thing off of them, but it seemed to have an iron grip to match those razor sharp teeth. It was really determined, Felix had to give it that. 

They turned to Milo, nodding their head in agreement and looking a little resigned to their fate of the teeth in their shoulder. “I’m pretty sure I saw a pair of your underwear in the cabinet, dude,” he said apologetically. “I think this guy is stealing your boxers.” Unless Milo just stored them in the cabinet, in which case Felix might have a few more questions with little desire for answers. 

Sighing, they shook their shoulder again, unsurprised when the creature held fast. “I don’t know,” they said, a slight whine to their voice, “he seems really passionate about eating me. Like, he really wants to do it. I don’t want to get eaten by a mouse-cat-ear-thingy. That’s such a lame thing to be eaten by.” Glancing to the wall, Felix considered their options. They could ram their shoulder — and, by extension, the monster — into the wall, but it felt… cruel, almost. Unnecessary. It was like Milo said — they probably weren’t in any real danger here. It hurt like hell, sure, but that didn’t seem a good enough excuse to squash the little guy. Milo’s ploy of diplomacy seemed like a much better bet.

“I, uh, I saw your sock collection,” they said, craning their neck to look down at the eyes glaring up at them from their shoulder. “You like socks? We can give you more socks! You can have all the socks you want! Or cookies! Dude, Milo just made cookies. Do you want some cookies?”

Somehow, this seemed to… interest the thing. It detached itself from Felix’s shoulder slowly, never taking its eyes off him. It was as if it wanted him to know that it was still capable of snapping back on if it wanted to. Felix looked over to Milo, flashing a subtle thumbs up from the side. “Uh, okay. Cool. Cookies it is, then. Do you like chocolate chip…?”

—

He could feel his own bite wound stinging as he stared helplessly at the other. However, at Felix's words his focus turned entirely to the critter. “Hey, not cool,” he griped. “I need those.”

Felix was right, they didn't know anything about the thing. Maybe it could eat them despite only coming up to about knee height. It did seem to have the same death grip on his roommate as it had on him. Milo didn't want to hurt it, though. 

“Listen, if it eats you– and I'm spared– I'll make up some cooler story for you. Heroic sacrifice or something.” He shrugged, a sly look on his face, “I'll workshop it.”

A sock collection. That explained why he was suddenly missing so many socks. 

Wait… 

Was this what happened with all missing socks? Was it just a buncha little guys taking them all??? 

Milo looked up at the mention of his name, watching as the offer of cookies was apparently enough to make it let go of Felix. “Cookies,” he repeated. “Okay.” 

He cautiously turned and grabbed the container full of cookies before–  even more cautiously– approaching the thing. It had its eyes glued to him the moment he started moving, and it was more than a little intimidating. Cookie in hand, he slowly outstretched his arm, trying to ignore the weight of its stare and keep as much distance between them as possible as he held out the peace offering. 

A beat passed, the creature looking uncertainly between the two roommates before quickly snatching the cookie out of Milo’s hand. He pulled his hand back out of biting range and watched as it gave the cookie a wary sniff before just devouring it.

Bewilderment apparent on his face, he looked over to Felix raising his free hand in a shrug before once again looking to the creature. “Do you want more?” he asked lamely.

—

“Hey! Thanks, buddy! That’s really great. Make it a dragon or something. Make me look cool. Make it — ow.” Felix’s voice came out in a low whine as the creature tightened the grip its teeth had in their shoulder, and they shook it uselessly. It certainly wasn’t the worst pain they’d ever dealt with — it wasn’t even the worst bite. The missing chunk of their arm that Razor had swallowed in the Blue Moon Matchup flared with phantom pain. Still, this wasn’t exactly a fun position to be in.

Then, the pain was gone and the little creature was looking up at him warily. Like it was suspicious of them, as if it hadn’t just tried to swallow him shoulder first. Apparently, cookies tasted better than balam. That was good to know.

Felix watched as Milo fetched the cookies and approached the creature, tensing as they waited to see what might happen. They prepared themself to jump forward again if the creature decided to latch back onto their roommate, but the little guy seemed much more interested in the cookie. It snatched it from Milo’s hand and ate it, seemingly in a single bite. Felix’s eyes darted to meet Milo’s, returning his shrug with one of their own.

The creature made grabby hands towards the container of cookies, and Felix took a cautious step forward. “Do you think he’ll get sick if we feed him too many? Should we be feeding him… vegetables too?”

—

"Dragons," Milo nodded, amused. "Bet." The amusement vanished as Felix let out a pained whine. "Shit, you okay?" he asked. To the bitey little creature, he could only manage an exasperated, "Dude..."

But the cookies seemed to be working, so that was... something. It wasn't biting anyone for the time being, at any rate. No, it was just making grabby hands up at him and the container in his hand. He hesitated, not knowing if he should just hand the container over or what, as Felix gave voice to their concerns, seemingly sharing his train of thought.

"I don't– I dunno???" This was definitely new territory for him. So he tried offering another cookie, not quite handing over the entire container just yet. The creature gobbled it down just as quickly as the first, and was looking up at him expectantly. Did they just have a weird new pet now? Like, what the fuck were they supposed to do with this thing?

Milo looked at the creature uncertainly. "Can you understand us?" he asked, feeling ridiculous. "Because I have zero idea what to do here." It almost certainly went without saying that he was entirely fucking clueless. Even if it didn't understand English, there was no way it wasn't picking up on that fact. "Like, we don't wanna hurt you, but also biting us and taking our stuff isn't very cool."

—

“I’m okay! I’m good, I’m aces.” Felix was not good. They definitely weren’t aces. In fact, they really weren’t even sure what it meant when a person said they were aces, but they were pretty sure not having a little ear monster making a meal of your shoulder was a prerequisite to it. 

Thankfully, though, that desperate ploy with the cookies seemed to be paying off. Ear Monster Supreme was a lot less interested in a jaguar steak when there was chocolate chip being offered in its stead, which at least meant he had decent taste. Milo seemed hesitant, and it looked like it was for the same reasons Felix was. But, in any case, handing over another cookie seemed harmless.

“How old do you think he is? Is it, like… a baby?” Felix squatted down, studying the creature as it swallowed its second cookie in a single, massive bite. They had no idea how to answer Milo’s question. Could the creature understand English? Were they cool with it now? It didn’t feel like a… pet situation, but it was hard to say what it did feel like.

The creature tilted its head at Milo, then scurried over to where the broom had gone discarded in the earlier altercation. Felix tensed, flashing Milo a panicked look, only for the expression to turn to one of confusion when the creature… picked up the broom? “Dude,” Felix whispered. The creature began sweeping at some dust from under the fridge. “Dude?”

—

It seemed Felix was feeling brave enough to bend down more to its level, but he wasn't quite there yet. They were asking some great questions that he wished he had an answer to. "I don't even know what it is, man." Calling it it felt wrong, but he didn't know what the fuck to refer to the thing as. Was it a being? Did they have a tiny new roommate? ...Was it new? Were they its roommates??? "Has this guy been here for long, you think? Like, how long have you lived here?"

Milo still had the container of cookies in his hand, but he couldn't stop his free hand from moving around frantically in his bewilderment at the new development- first landing on his tilted head, then moving toward Felix as he gave them a look, then to the creature that was cleaning their kitchen (?!?!?!) then back to Felix before settling on his hip as he looked at the scene in front of him.

"Literally, what the fuck is happening? I don't- What?" 

He stared helplessly for a few more moments before slumping into a chair. A mistake, as the movement irritated the bite mark. He let out a small hiss of pain, and looked between Felix and the little dude for a moment, deliberating, before standing again. He left the cookies on the table, and looked to Felix. "I'm going to get the first aid kit," he stated. "Don't die. Yell if you're getting eaten." 

And he headed to the bathroom, reemerging a few moments later with the first aid kit in hand.

—

Milo raised a good question. How long had they been sharing an apartment with this creature? “I — I don’t know! I’ve lived here… I mean, it’s been — Over a year! And I’ve never seen it before.” Granted, sometimes things like socks did go missing, but didn’t that always happen with laundry? There were whole stereotypes about missing socks! It couldn’t always be a weird big-eared creature that set out to steal them all!

In any case, this was certainly new. Felix was sure they would have noticed it something else had been cleaning their apartment. They watched with a perplexed expression as the beast swept the floor. It wasn’t even doing a bad job. It was a decent sweeper, really. Top tier, even. Felix balked.

“This can’t be normal. This can’t be normal!” What was normal anymore, though? What had ever been normal? Felix was less and less sure by the day. They glanced back at Milo, letting out a nervous chuckle. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll try not to get eaten. Or… swept. Do you think it’s going to hit us with the broom now?”

The creature made no effort to hit them with the broom as Milo vanished, and was still sweeping by the time he returned. Felix turned back to their roommate. “I’m gonna get him a dustpan. Do you think he’d like that? Do you think that would make him happy?”

—

Looking over at Felix's exclamation, Milo huffed out a laugh. "What is normal here? Like, I know my normal is fucked to begin with, but since moving here, man? Fuck," he exhaled.

Milo laughed as he made his way to the bathroom. "I mean, I hope not?" he called back. He returned to the same incredibly strange scene, glad to see Felix had not been eaten or swept or beaten with their broom, and was still just staring at the creature– they really needed a name or something to call it. But no, because that was starting to sound very pet-like, and that didn't feel quite right with their current situation.

He shook himself out of the dazed train of thought, focusing on Felix. Would the little creature sweeping up their kitchen like having a dustpan?

"I– I mean– Sure??? I–" He paused for a second before nodding. "Fuckin'. Sure. Why not?"

While Felix went to do that, Milo was sure to keep an eye on the thing as he pulled out the hydrogen peroxide and some band-aids. However, he had to pause when a thought crossed his mind. "Hey," he called to Felix, "d'you think we're– Like, we're not gonna get some weird infection or, like, I dunno. We're not gonna turn into little dudes every full moon or something, right?" This was so stupid. But his best friend was a fucking werewolf.

…his life was so stupid.

—

Milo was right — normal wasn’t a word that applied to them. Felix, for example, had grown up mostly feral in the woods with a father who killed anyone who came near the house and a mother who was shot for being a jaguar in the woods of Maine. Normal was somewhere far, far away from here. But this? This felt like a whole new level of weird. Even by Felix’s standards. 

The dustpan seemed like the best bet, so Felix pulled one from the cupboard and dropped it carefully near the little guy before jumping back in a movement not unlike that of a cat who’d been spooked. 

Inching back towards Milo, Felix faltered at the question. “I — I don’t know,” they admitted. Balam were immune to werewolf bites, so it stood to reason they’d be immune to… whatever this was, too. But what if Milo got infected with… wereears? “I’ll, uh — We’ll figure it out!” Felix would help Milo deal with it, if it came to that. They’d ask a werewolf for advice. It’d be fine. Everything was going to be fine. “Do you — Um, do you think your… bite… needs stitches?”

—

He knew Felix could be jumpy, but seeing him hop back like a cat was certainly interesting. Milo watched it happen, still feeling kind of dazed from just how fucking wild this situation was. But the little dude had a dustpan now. And it still wasn't attacking them anymore. Soooo... that was cool.

But they should probably deal with the wounds from when it was attacking them. "Yeah," he nodded, "we'll figure it out." It would be fine, probably. "I can– I have a friend who's usually pretty good with this stuff? Like, knowing about the... weird shit. I can maybe shoot her a text or something?" They needed an adult, clearly.

Did his bite need stitches? He tugged his shirt up so he could look at the damage, wrinkling his nose when it became apparent the fabric had gotten stuck to the skin. "I'm okay?" It hadn't taken a chunk out of him, at least. It had scratched him up a bit more than he initially thought, but those were nothing. The puncture wounds from the bite and the claws that were the bigger concerns. The bite looked the most irritated, skin puffy and red around the slightly bleeding wounds. 

Milo frowned down at his abdomen. It hurt, but it was more annoying than anything else. Disinfecting the bite would probably fuckin' suck, though. 

"Not the worst," he shrugged.  "Does yours need stitches?"

—

Now full of cookies and armed with a broom, their little guest seemed to have lost all interest in the roommates entirely. Felix continued to eye it a little suspiciously but, given the bite wound marring their shoulder and the matching one on Milo, they figured that was fair. 

“Hey! Yeah! That’s a good idea!” Felix should have been better at this, they knew. They were born into this world, after all. But even before their mother’s death, their family had never focused on this aspect of things. Other shifters, sure, to a certain extent; usually only in a sense of superiority. Hunters and mediums and exorcists were a necessary lesson, too, of course. But beyond that? Felix didn’t know nearly as much as they ought to. If they had, maybe they wouldn’t have gotten themself trapped in the Pit. Texting someone with a better idea of things was a preferable kind of outcome here.

Felix inspected Milo’s wound as he pulled up his shirt, clicking their tongue a little. Thanks to their experience with the Pit, they were usually pretty good at identifying when an injury was serious. Milo’s looked okay. Painful, definitely, but not dangerous. After a moment, Felix nodded, satisfied. “Yeah, you’re good,” they confirmed, flashing a thumbs up. Craning their neck, they pulled their shirt aside to look at their own bite mark with a wrinkle in their nose. “And so am I! Ace bandages and disinfectant, and we should be all good to go.”

Pulling the shirt down in a way that would make it stay down, they reached out a hand. “Here. I’ll disinfect you.” Then, after a second thought, “Actually, we should do this in another room. Uh, so we don’t spook the little guy.” The last thing Felix wanted was to set the creature off again with any pained sounds in reaction to the first aid efforts.

—

He shot off a quick text to Alex, hoping he wasn't bugging her. Hopefully she would have some answers for them.

Milo was pretty confident in his own ability to assess wounds– years of self-harm would do that– but it was still good to have confirmation. He took a look at Felix's bite, nodding as it did look to be okay. Or, not in need of stitches, anyway. Which meant they wouldn't have to go to the hospital, thank fuck.

It was likely the aforementioned years dealing with self-harm and trying to hide it that made his heart race at the idea of someone helping out, but that immediate shock of fear felt so... dumb. It was fine. Felix was being kind, and they had literally just seen the wound, too. It wasn’t a big deal, he needed to chill. "I can help with yours, too," he offered. It wasn’t like they couldn’t do it themself– it wasn’t in a hard-to-reach area– but it was in one that was a little annoying to see. 

As much as he didn't love the idea of the creature being out of eyesight, moving to another room was probably a good call. If for no other reason than that it felt really weird to be treating wounds in the kitchen while the creature that gave them said wounds was doing a bit of tidying up. "Right, yeah. Bathroom?"

—

Felix offered Milo a small smile, nodding their head. “That’d be great, yeah. Thanks, buddy.” It wasn’t as if they didn’t know how to take care of their own injuries. The Grit Pit didn’t worry much about first aid after fights — that was up to the fighters themselves. Felix knew how to fix all manner of injuries on themself, but it was nice not to have to. To have someone else willing to do it for them, someone who expected nothing in return and was helping in the name of simple friendship… That was nice. That was a nice feeling.

Glancing back to the creature, Felix nodded again. “Bathroom,” they agreed, heading that way. As they closed the bathroom door to separate themself and Milo from the sweeping guest and turned towards the mirror, they hummed thoughtfully. “Did your friend have any ideas about our little buddy? Like… Does he just live here now? We’re gonna have to make a lot of cookies.”

—

He returned the smile with one of his own. He really had lucked out finding a roommate as nice as Felix. Following them to the bathroom, he pulled out his phone to check, noticing a couple of new notifications. It seemed he’d accidentally sent the message to a group chat. 

Milo: okay so hey.  theres a fuckin Creature Thing in the apartment and we dont know what the fuck to do.  help?? thing.png

Alex: Does it talk? Normally I’d say don’t negotiate with terrorists but…  You have a lighter right?  LOL dumb question. If it gets agressevice light it on fire? if that doesn’t work out I can send my cousin. He moonlights as a mime, but he does work in animal control.

Even if it wasn't the most helpful, she never failed to make him laugh. Thankfully there was Cass to save the day. "Uh, she doesn't but my other friend- her girlfriend- does maybe?"

Cass: Awwwww! He’s cute! He’s a brownie btw <3 Don’t be mean to him or he’ll bite you. If you give him food he’ll clean for you though!

He relayed the information back to Felix. "So, we know what it is, at least. I dunno, I think we might just have a brownie friend here for a while, maybe?"

—

A brownie. Okay. Not the most creative name in the world but, hey, it wasn’t them who’d named it. Felix flashed Milo a quick thumbs up. “Well, I guess if we don’t hurt him, he won’t hurt us? And give him food. I don’t mind having something clean for us, I guess. Unless…” They trailed off, glancing to the closed door and lowering their voice a little. “Do you think he’s bad at it? Cleaning, I mean. What if we go out there and he’s washing the windows with mayonnaise or something?”

—

“Yeah, I mean it seems like that’s the case?”

Milo sent a quick thanks to his friends, looking up as Felix started whispering conspiratorially. He chuckled, a wide smile on his face. "Wait, why mayo?" he had to ask. 

"But I dunno, he looked like he knew what he was doing?" He shrugged. "I'll see if Cass has any more info, but let's clean up first, maybe?"

He motioned for Felix to sit so that he could start to help him out as he went to wash his hand.  "Also, if our little brownie bud's staying, we're definitely gonna need to come up with something to call him..."

—

“I don’t know! That seems like a thing someone might do if they were twelve, and their brother was supposed to clean the living room but told them they’d give them shiny rocks if they did it instead, but maybe they didn’t really know how to clean windows and it was the only thing around. So maybe a… brownie would think the same thing.” 

Milo was right, though; the brownie had seemed pretty confident, and Felix figured the best thing they could do was just… let it do its work. They settled onto the edge of the bathtub, leaning back a little so Milo could get started disinfecting his shoulder.

“Yeah,” they agreed, wincing as the disinfectant went on the bite mark, “I guess we can’t keep calling him ‘brownie.’ I wouldn’t want somebody just calling me… Well, I prefer it when people use my name. What do you think we should call him? Any ideas?”

—

"...That's a really specific example, bud," he replied, fighting back a smile. "What kinda shiny rocks were they supposed to be, like gemstones or something?"

After a quick rinse, Milo picked up the hydrogen peroxide and some cotton rounds, and approached Felix. "Sorry in advance for the stinging." 

He set about cleaning up the wound, and they traded name ideas while he worked, continuing as Felix helped patch him up in turn.

"How about BB, like for brownie bud?" But he was shaking his head as the words left his mouth. "Never mind, I regretted just saying it. Also, that's Beast Boy."

"I know we can't call 'em Cookie Monster, but it'd be funny-"

"Cosmic? Like cosmic brownies?"

“What about just Cosmo?”

“I kinda like Cosmo.”

For the time being, it seemed they had a new roommate.

[fuck-you-too-world]

(I- I have a thought-)

You know how Chinese women would usually sit down and hold anything in their hand as weapon (usually slipper or hanger or broom) as they sat down calmly but with a deadly look in their eyes because someone fucked up and piss them off (usually their man).

Yeah, imagine Tim bring so feed up with Ra's and so so ready to snap, he knows Ra's watching and always close by when it comes to stalking him. So Tim, so done and had enough because he just wanted to have some peace and eat his dinner in peace without the hidden camera and stalker watching his every move just snap.

Tim slam his hands on the table, chair moved back enough to gave him took to face the door and cross his leg. His face is the embodiment of neutral with no emotions and unreadable, his hands half crossed with one hand holding his hidden dagger (he keep this one gift from Ra's because it's pretty alright, don't judge him!).

Tim : You better get your fucking ass here before I reached 3 *voice calm and neural just like his face, nothing in his body language betray his emotions and Tim also ignore Alfred's disaproving look at the language*

Tim : ... 1

Everyone was looking at Tim in confusion and calculations, they all have no idea what is happening and what is Tim doing. Maybe the lack of sleep finally got him? (If only they knew how normal it is for him to hallucinate)

Tim : ... 2-

Before the Bats could utter a word and say anything about Tim's weird behavior, a shadow suddenly appear and moves towards Tim. They all reflexively stand to fighting positions and let their flight or fight mode take over, only to be shocked at the picture in front of their eyes.

Damian is very confused, very shocked to the point he froze.

Ra's fucking Al Ghul is kneeling in front of Tim, honestbto God fucking Kneel like when a child done something wrong and sat in a kneeling position with head down in front of Tim who is still sitting in his chair!!!

Ra's : Detecti- *sweating bullet*

Tim : Weekend, Ra's. All I ask was you don't plant any cameras or your croonies to spy on me on weekends and what did you do?

Ra's : Plant cameras and spies to watch you *gulping loudly*

Tim :

Ra's :

Batfam :

Tim : And?

Ra's : sending courting gifts to you *head still looking down*

Tim : why can't you get it in that thick skull of yours that I don't want to becomes your heir or bear your children?! *throw the dagger towards Ra's head and missed slightly, only grazing his cheek*

Ra's : *immediately pick up the dagger and give it back to Tim with a love struck face but also a fearful one* But beloved-

Tim : No *glare as he took the offered dagger*

Ra's : *sigh mournfully*

Tim : *continues to lecture Ra's while the creepy old man just watch Tim with a fond look the whole time but there's also an obvious fear in the immortal's eyes* Also did you even give them any day off on the weekend? Look at them staying outside for God knows how long with no rest! Let your assassins have a weekend as their day off, let them live! If not how can you make the world a better place if you're coped up with same old views and not taking the change in world into account to your cause?!

Ra's : *considering it* will you let me take you out on a date if I consider a change in the system?

Tim : *look at Ra's contemplatively, already planning on using the opportunity to change the LoA from inside* I will consider it if the results are satisfactory to me

Batfam : *still trying to process the situation and their brain not braining*

Ra's : very well, Detective. *moves out slowly while still in his kneeling position not once turning his back on Tim with head still bowed* I shall see you again, hopefully on a date beloved.

Tim : *huft out a tired sigh and throw his dagger to Ra's once again when he's out of the dining room door* Get lost and let me have my dinner in peace Ra's!

Assassin 1 : *bring Tim's dagger and bow to him respectfully with a look of awe and wonder* thank you, my Lady *then disappear before Tim manage to reprimand them*

Tim : *groans* fucking Ra's

Then as if the time has been started once again from it's frozen state, the whole family explodes in a fury of questions.

Tim just ignore them and continue with his food, the least they could do is let him enjoy his dinner in peace before they interrogate him and bother him after not realizing anything for years.

Tim : *gave the whole room the same look as he look before he calls Ra's*

Batfam : *froze and immediately retreating to their seats and continue the dinner in silence*

Alfred : Coffee Master Tim?

They all stayed silent, Alfred offer Tim coffee instead of banning beverage. Well, Fuck.

Tim storms into the manor

Damian, teasingly: What has got you in such a bad mood, Drake

Tim: TELL YOUR GRANDPA THAT IF HE WANTS SOMEONE'S DNA, HE CAN HAVE HIS OWN

Damian: What?

Tim, storming out if the main room: AND THAT IF HIS OLD ASS WANTS TO FUCK SOMEONE HE CAN LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND LEAVE MEVTHE FUCK ALONE *slams door*

Damian:

Damian: What just happened...

[sunshinexlollipops]

what the hell is up w cockroaches this year? I never dealt with them when I was young and now suddenly they're always popping up everywhere I go but THIS ROACH was fucking DIFFERENT. he played MIND GAMES. bc I'm dog and house sitting rn and I was using the restroom when I got jumped. y'all don't understand........it found me at my most vulnerable. I was literally caught w my pants between my legs bc I was SHITTING when he appeared and was inches from me and he's HUGE and WINGED and I leapt off the toilet w boom boom still on the booty bc he thinks I wanted company for the occasion. and the house I'm staying at........has no roach or ANY bug spray.....and y'all.....this roach is playing psychological warfare. it wasn't just about wandering around and snackin— this dude was waiting for me when I was coming for him, and we were having multiple western standoffs in the adjacent foyer of this house and it's every time I'm walking by, ready to get his ass, he came CHARGING out of the bathroom like a sewer's braveheart. we're playing cat and mouse and we still don't have an idea who is what. he goes to sit vertically on the doorframe and stare at me after I sprayed FEBREEZE all over him to no effect. he also tries to crawl across the bathroom and foyer floor and I try to kill him broom-style...the damn thing lives, is uninjured, and scurries off.

I freak out and also have to give ground bc I'm having to psych myself up because admittedly, he got the upper hand on me from the start. he destroyed any confidence I would have had by showing up mid-turd. so I have to brace myself over and over, and when I come back to face him, this fucking thing decides he's gonna try and flee the bathroom again towards me and I tried another broom hit....WHICH HE, AGAIN, SURVIVED. so I go pacing around the house in hopes to find any weapons bc I'm losing the battles and I cannot lose the war, and I find some hope— a flyswatter.*

it's dinky and has a fake sunflower on one side and I'm like UGH OKAY and I'm literally preparing to go get him and HE IS IN THE FOYER RUNNING TOWARD ME WHEN I ROUNDED THE CORNER. LIKE HE KNOWS IM ARMED. so I go to slap him so hard it sends him and his entire species down back to the Devil himself and HE DODGES IT. ends up spinning like a loony tunes character trying to skedaddle and runs under the door into an adjacent room. I'm hoping he realizes to get the hell out of dodge for good, but I'm also waiting to ambush his ass bc I have a gut feeling this isn't over. and it wasn't— I happen to look over and I see him making a dash to the bathroom again. I notice he has a limp now and isn't as fast and won't climb, and I'm like okay— now is the time. I drive back to my own house that is nearby and I grab my roach spray. bc one of us has to fold and it will NOT be me. and so I come back and rest in the room by the foyer, I can see the bathroom door and foyer from where I'm sitting, and I'm like alright let's take a second......I had already sprayed around the doorways in the foyer, and sent a little of the spray into the bathroom in the hopes the smell would drive him away if he hadn't left.

atp its been an hours long saga and I'm like, lemme take a break and when I'm ready I'll fumigate this bitch.... remember the * I put after finding the flyswatter? I was literally writing this post when this next part occurred... bc I had another gut urge to look over towards the bathroom, and thERE HE IS AGAIN IN THE FOYER! MAKING ANOTHER DASH FOR THE ADJACENT ROOM! SO I CHARGE HIS ASS W THE SPRAY AND IM GOING FULL BLAST ON THE NOZZLE OVER HIM WHILE TAILING HIM BACK INTO THE BATHROOM UNTIL HE FUCKING FLEES INTO THE BATHROOM FLOOR VENT. SO I SPRAY A BIT DOWN THERE AND THEN SHUT IT ON HIS ASS AND NOW HE CAN'T RETURN.

since then the house has felt different. like a demon has been cleansed. I believe I have killed the beast, or sentenced it to die a very painful and slow death in the vent he sought refuge in.......and I can only feel like it wasn't enough for him.

I've been on the phone w both my parents tonight, I've been laughed at through my version of David versus Goliath, and I got discord messages saying this :(((

may this fucker rot and mold

[autistic-robin]

comprehensive list of the weapons i want each character to weild in s5

starting off strong with nancy, our resident gungirl: her bare hands. whether she runs out of bullets or an eldritch horror eats her guns, i want her punching kicking snarling her way through battle. let her be badass without the guns for once.

jonathan: i know my boy’s a pacifist but i REALLY think he’d fuck shit up with like. a spear or something. give him something he can stab with too. he needs to let out all his repressed anger.

steve: return of the nailbat RETURN OF THE NAILBAT i am begging you duffer brothers GIVE HIM BACK HIS NAILBAT!!!! this is crucial for my well-being regardless of anything else that happens in s5.

el: we’ve seen a lot of amazing Badass El moments with her powers, but the sheer joy i experienced when she clocked angela in the face with that skate was unparalleled and i want her to do the same to any monsters she encounters in s5. i think she could do some real damage with a skateboard actually. let el beat vecna to death with her girlfriend’s skateboard. that is all i ask. it would be cinematic justice.

mike: ohhh boy. oh boy. mike is our little unconventional weapon grabbing gremlin and i NEED this trend to continue in s5 and get gradually more rediculous and obvious as the stakes get higher. i’m talking the return of the candlestick-holder. i’m talking glue guns pointed at eight-foot-tall demogorgons. i’m talking choking out demodogs with shoelaces. all hell breaks loose and mike wheeler grabs a one of ted’s golf clubs and hurls it into the fray.

will: give will a gun but let him run out of bullets and flip it around and use it like a baseball bat. bonus points if he’s protecting a gawking, lovestruck mike while doing it.

dustin: let dustin use his weird little scientist brain to construct military-level nuclear weapons in the wheelers’ basement while the apocalypse rages on. give him mad-scientist hair and little goggles and lucas rolling his eyes when dustin’s like “pass me (obscure drugstore item) i need to finish this bomb before dinnertime.”

lucas: i made a separate post about my hopes for lucas’ weapon of choice, and i will use this to reiterate: human-sized slingshot. let him hurl the severed halves of jason’s body at vecna at full speed.

robin: i also made a post on robin, because i have a very specific vision that involves her operating a tank. i think this would be vital for her character arc. no i will not elaborate.

joyce (+murray): i want her to beat monsters with like. a swiffer broom. idk if they had swiffers in the 80s so maybe just a regular one :/ i feel like she’d also get a lot of joy and catharsis from using a flamethrower a la murray in s4. maybe they work as a team and alternate.

hopper: i think he just kinda needs a break tbh. maybe he helps dustin build weapons in the basement, but he definitely criticizes his every move and tries to parent him. bonus if there’s a callback to their little banter in s2 “you really think you know everything about this monster because of a little roleplaying game?” idk i just wanna see more of their dynamic.

[wroteclassicaly]

A/N: I felt inspired after finishing the series this morning, so I bring you… whatever this is? I definitely wanna write a secondary part to it, but here’s a shorter drabble for now, which includes character dialogue that I’m nervous about. Hopefully it’s okay? There’s some language and fluffy content, but nothing that’s really too NSFW right at the moment. However, it is based off the handcuffs on Eddie’s wall, soooooo.

Have a good night/day! - Kristen <3

~*~

A crackling charge across your spine, pulled back into your world, Eddie’s stained sheets below your back, a wet tongue slicks around one parched mouth. He offers a calloused set of digits, ring pressing into your thumb-pad—the barest brush. He isn’t prepared for gravity, and neither are you, uncoordinated feet colliding, your sternum smashing into his ribcage. Is Eddie Munson really that much taller than you? You spare one last glance at your comrades behind you, that disgusting squelch coming from the gaping plaster above.

A delicious warmth is still keeping you flush to them, a devilish creature embroidered above, the letters Hellfire Club surrounding it in your eye-line.

Oh. Eddie.

Your cowardice dissipates, your gaze mustering a look-up, met with his chocolate brown irises. He’s watching you as if he’s been caught with both hands in the cookie jar. But there’s something—a certainty—that you’ve learned about Eddie Munson in all your observant years, it is that he’s rebellious. If he’s staring at you, it might not be so subtle. But then again, you’ve just fell back into his home from another dimension, covered in dirt and bat guts, trembling from exertion and nerves.

And a whole hell of a lot more, if I’m being honest here…

Something inside you shifts, your hands gripping Eddie’s leather jacket sleeves, the noise an echoing bunch. His brow crinkles, a sweat bead matting a strand of his shaggy hair to his forehead. The urge you fight to remove that is a colossal victory. Your throat is dry, speech lurking beneath the surface of your lungs, but unable to come to fruition. Dustin, Max, Lucas, Erica & Robin, they’re all standing in a circle, expectantly awaiting Steve and Nancy to follow you and Eddie.

He steers you to the side, not releasing his hold.

Eddie’s tone is raspy, question so fucking soft, like a damned honey butter coating his entire voice. “You okay?”

You are zeroed in on his plump lips, his earth smeared jugular, trying to remember that you’re in a life or death ordeal, people are tilting towards violent endings, two of your bestfriends are still in the Upside Down, but you are aching to kiss Eddie Munson. Whatever this is, shockingly, he is catching your wave and riding in on familiarity. A shared grin that breaks his mouth. You nod your answer, brows pinched together, head tilting. “Yeah, you?”

“Oh, you know, Y/N. Wanted man, hottest thing in Hawkins to hunt in over a decade, just came from another dimension that is apparently redecorating my ceiling right now,” He pauses, a cute little crinkling of his nose. “Could also use a beer… or six. But other than that—“

Steve’s loud shouting pleas break the moment, your blood runs cold, icing your flesh into prickling goosebumps, hands releasing Eddie immediately.

Nancy.

~*~

Everyone else is perched in their places, forging makeshift weapons, whilst you taste every last meal you’ve had in the past week, coming up.

This doesn’t feel okay.

You’ve finished your tasks, trash can lid and sharpened broom handle that is wrapped in barbed wire, discarded at your side. They pale in comparison to anything else your group has come up with, but you’re not exactly an expert in this shit, regardless of how long you’ve known everyone.

Except Eddie. You pinch and pull at several grass blades, staring off into the trees, thinking about these wasted years he would’ve fit in with everyone, but your paths didn’t cross, despite you both being seniors. Well, Eddie, a—is it his second or third time as a senior, you wonder?

“Listen,” Robin interjects over your internal monologue, suddenly dropping down beside you. “We can all relax out here—I mean, who can actually relax though, with a big evil that is threatening to swallow us all and burn our world to the ground, that’s one thing to consider, but—“

“Robin!” You break from your forest-focused reverie, eyes rolling in annoyance. “The point. Get to it.”

“Right, I’m doing it again, huh?”

You simply sigh, snapping your fingers together to rid them of grass fragments. “Mhm-hmm.”

“Like I was saying, we can all do what we’re doing out here and you and Eddie can go play footsie under the table inside our new ride.” That self-satisfying, non-judgmental, cute—albeit— annoying, Robin Buckley grin shelved into her lips.

Your heart lurches into your ass, body shifting in discomfort.

“I’ve been around enough heterosexual dilemmas all day, okay? Spare me the reassurance that you aren’t staring Eddie Munson down. Besides, if he knew what you took from his bedroom, he’d probably be totally on board.” She whispers that last part, patting your shoulder, before dusting herself off and standing.

Your cheeks are cherry red, Robin pressing a finger to her lips. “You know about my love life, or lack thereof, and I am all too aware that you, the ever-innocent Y/N, stole an item from the resident metalhead’s house.”

Robin likes girls, you and Steve are the only ones privy to that info, and apparently, she has been catching your unveiled vibes towards Eddie.

Great.

She gives you one last shoulder rub, her voice less teasing this time. “Seriously, Y/N. Consider my footsie proposition, because I’m pretty sure he’s feeling it too.”

And she retreats, back to Steve and their fiery cocktail ensembles.

Your jean pocket sways with a burn, the object nestled into fabrics and frayed threading.

She’s right…

“Looks like you’re all prepared, Lady Guinevere.” A deep voice accentuates your thoughts, Reeboks flooding your vision, ring clad hands reaching for the ground beside you to settle his body down. He reclines on his palms, shifting his head back to ease an invisible tension, one ankle crossing over the other, legs stretched out, that black denim encasing them. His chain rests at his thigh, and god help you, you can’t stop staring at him. Reminding yourself that you should probably say something, it comes a little easier than anticipated.

“Didn’t she just marry Arthur and have affairs or something? I’m not big on mythology.”

Eddie shrugs, opening one large doe eye as he looks your way. “I’d like to think she was poised in potential battle, unsuspecting, but just as deadly. Makes for a better story to tell the kids these days, huh?”

You can’t stop the chortle that escapes, rolling your eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure I’ll be real deadly with a broom handle and some wire.”

Eddie’s vision trickles to your weapon, a finger poking at the end. “Seems sharp enough to poke an otherworldly, dimensional creature’s eye out to me.”

“As is your invention.” You rave, knuckles rasping against the metal trashcan lid by your other side.

Eddie beams, a bravado attempting to keep. It’s a comfortable silence that neither of you fight, another metaphorical clock signaling how much longer it’ll be before you run out of time to do anything. Then the Spring air gives way to a shift, nudging Eddie’s spicy, cigarette smoke aroma your direction. Everyone’s voices sound far off, the atmosphere cut, sectioning you and Eddie into a beckoning privacy. Your fingers fiddle, dance around, finally dipping into your pocket, producing a vice grip that is cool and slick around the metal.

Your body’s expanse is flaming in shame, anxiousness chattering your bones to a brittle quaking. You give a mental ‘fuck it’, voice damp with a very molten heat. “Hey, Eddie?”

It’s terrifyingly addictive in how fast his attentions are gained by your two words. You don’t waste anymore time, lifting the metal handcuffs. They dangle in the air, swing in the breeze, sunlight glinting off them, reflecting your sin. Eddie doesn’t say anything, an eerily botching to your decision to let him in on the fact of your little petty crime. When it’s almost too fucking much, when your insides are charred to a searing, ears rustling with static—Eddie crowns you with a response.

“Did you swipe these from my room, Y/N?”

He isn’t oblivious to that answer, but his tone is suggestive in a satiated dedication to hearing you verbalize what he now knows. Two of Eddie’s fingers swipe up to grab the other cuffs’ end, pitching a clasp, his rings making a noise upon collusion, tongue pressing to his teeth—sucking. You can’t read him, eyes darting rapidly to gauge his stance.

“Eddie, I’m—“

He bull dozes your reasoning try, brows perching into a secretive settle.

“Don’t apologize for something we both know you’re not sorry for.”

~*~

Tagging:

@littledemondani @prettyboyeddiemunson @lovelylangdonx

[denjirv]

▄︻デFinal Girl══━一

Aki the serial killer starts in a campy but pornographic horror slasher

⏤͟͟͞͞☆ WOHOOOOOO I'm done!! It's on the short end but enjoy for the Halloween season

CW// Sub!Aki, Dom!reader, Blood mentions, Non-con, Reader has a cock but GN, that also includes the prom queen line it's suppose to be those cheesy movie things 💀, minor slapping and dacryphillia You run down the bloody halls. Bodies of your former classmates left for dead as you ran with your sneakers squeaking against the glossy floor. The man following behind you walking slowly yet menacingly with his axe dragging against beside him. “Fuck fuck this can’t be happening” With each turn you felt your body weight keeping you back, your heart pumpinp out of your chest. But that’s when you see the janitors closet. Quickly you hid inside it, trying to catch your breath you look to see if you can find any weapon. There was only empty cleaning supplies and the janitor’s dirty mop. Wait the mop- You move over to see if you were able to unscrew it, make it a stabbing weapon perhaps. You were only able to remove the mop part and was left unfortunately with a round end of the broom. “Fuck, this will have to do” you grip onto the broom as you slowly peek your head out. He isn’t there, not yet at least. So you stayed quiet. That’s when the heavy footsteps start getting closer and closer. Heavy breathing under the mask of the killer as he looks around the place. Once he turned his back on you slowly got up. Moving the door ever so gently where it barely made a sound, your breath being quiet, almost like you were holding it. That’s when you start raising the broom. “Hey dickhead!” The man turns over before being brutally beaten with the broom. You kept hitting so hard that the stick broke into two as the other piece flew off. “Drop your fucking knife crazy bitch!!” You can hear him groan with blood almost dripping under his mask. But then he suddenly gets up and goes on top of you. Restraining you with his gloved hands as his bleeding face was dripping onto your shirt. “You’re gonna regret that…” His voice was deep and rough. Gripping onto your hands you try squirming away. This tall man overpowering you, but you weren’t gonna die like this. Not when you just had the world’s shittiest prom night at least. Before he could lean in to grab the knife your foot flies up and hits him right in the crotch. Luckily you had unchecked anger issues, after years of being bullied and laughed at you finally can take it all out on someone who deserves it. So a kick to the balls was enough to make the killer stop and in fact make him scream. “GAAAHHH!!” He was choking up when you pushed him off, pinning him down while his legs were pressed against one another the pain was making him too distracted. “Now lets see who the fuck are we dealing with” You rip off the mask, the first thing you see is brunette hair and a handsome bleeding face with a pained expression. “Oh it’s you!” You were almost in disbelief. Hayakawa? But he literally has everything, well known in the football team, gets all the girls and has a pretty solid reputation. “Why are you pulling this slasher shit?” As Aki tries to reply back he takes a deep breath, sheesh I really did kick him hard you thought. “I did it for….for you” He looks up, his blue eyes staring at you with this uncomfortable adoration. “Wait, don't tell me, you’re one of those killers huh?” Tall jock guy commiting murder for you? How romantic I suppose. “I…You deserved your title as prom queen. I hated Makima, she took your place.” He looked so pathetic, his bleeding nose sniffling and his eyes watering for the sore balls. “I’ve always…loved you” his hand slowly grabbing the knife that was beside him. “Awwh I see, well then you don’t mind if I do this?” You grab his blood soaked pants and yank it down.  “Wait what-” Aki looked confused and nervous. His limp cock peels out of the pants as you start pulling your jeans too. “Well you love me then you won’t mind if I do this?” aligning your cock with his blinking hole he starts panicking. “Wait wait wait hold on I’ve never had it in there before!!” “Hmmm, oh well that’s too bad baby” You smirk before forcing your cock in his tight ass. “Aaahhh!!!” His voice was shaking as he moaned loudly, a mix of pain and somewhat pleasure.  He grips onto your hips instead, letting the knife drop onto the ground with a clank. “N-Not so rough!! I-I'm sorry ok?! I’m sorry for making a mess!!” He was sobbing with tears streaming his bruised cheeks. His legs were shaking as your cock was stretching his hole out with your cock sliding in dry. It was punishment for him and pleasure for you. “God baby you’re such a whiny baby” You laughed as he shaked his head almost in denial. “I-I’m gonna kill yoouuuuU!!” His face gets smack with the back of your hand. “Quit it, if I’m feeling nice I’d let you go without calling the cops” His face stinging and his nose sniffling he nods. “O-Okay okay” It’s funny how quick he gets to being submissive.  His moaning was mixed with his sobs. You pick up the pace feeling your cock starting to throb. “Fuck I’m gonna cum! Think you can take my load baby?” He starts to eagerly nod his head, his breathing getting shorter with each harsh thrust. “Yes I-I’m ready! Just please let me go!!” The glob of tears painted his face beautifully. He looked more like the prey than the predator. “Fuck I’m cumming!!” You pull out, his poor gaping hole empty as you move Aki’s mouth to force it open.  Almost on command his tongue was stuck out as you came all over his face and mouth. “Good boy, what a defenseless little slut” You giggle seeing him close his mouth and weakly swallow your cum. Salty yet he kept licking his face for more. “Did that teach you a lesson?” He nodded shly. “I said-” You take his jaw and force him closer to your face. “Did you learn your lesson?” Aki’s trembling lips opened up. 

“Y-Yes m…master?” You can work with that. You smile before kissing his cum stained lips. “Good, now help me clean up the mess before the cops get here”

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Can you please write a Tommy Shelby x wife!reader where he’s covered in blood or something like the Italian butcher episode and for some reason they get horny off the adrenaline and get it on even though he’s covered in blood, to him he’s just her Tommy and she loves him covered in nothing or anything

Sweet lord. I had a lot of fun writing this. ALOT OF FUN. I went off of that specific episode, except they are both very bloody.

I had a similar request come in so I made it a combo again. Hope you both enjoy!!!

Rating: Explicit - Sex, blood, murder, hurt comfort.

What about a Tommy x Wife! Reader where they always have great sex together and can get hot for each other at the drop of a hat

There were many things that came with the title of being Thomas Shelby’s wife. One of them was a fantastic sex.

You figured it would be how everyone told you it would be, if it was good you were very lucky, just enjoying it while it lasted. This would surely slow down once you married him, after that there would be dry spells, everyone prepared you for the infidelity and heartbreak that was sure to come.

But they had never been with Tommy, the busier he got, the more danger pursued the two of you. The more danger the more places you’d fuck. Back of the car, broom cupboards, offices, elevators, he even bent you over in a library at one point. The higher the stakes of losing you, the more he wanted you next to him, the closer to him you were the harder it was for him to keep his hands off of you. He’d slide his hands up your skirt while he drove, just to hold what's his.

Life continued on this way, but this time things seemed more serious. Various family members called you right after each other warning about black handprints landing in their mail boxes. Going to your own mailbox you weren't surprised that you had also received one. John told you to stay in the house, find a gun, and pack while waiting for Tommy to come and get you.

You did as he instructed, tucking a loaded gun into the secret pouch you’d been sewing into your aprons. Who ever said they were stupid clearly never added their own pockets.

Once the bags were packed you started to think about the situation, there was a nagging feeling in your mind that there was something very obvious you were missing.

Italians, you didn't know any of the Changretta family or any mafia members. Heck, the only Italian's you knew were the ones recently taken on as the cooking staff. Your heart leapt into your throat. The very grumpy Italian chef and his trusty sidekick. Neither of them liked to have you in the kitchen, something that irritated you quite a bit. After he snapped at one of the quieter maids you’d told Tommy to work on replacing him.

There was only one man allowed to be angry and shout in your house, and even he had to keep himself in check or suffer the consequences. Panic settled inside you knowing that the potential threat was already in the house.

You stayed upstairs knowing the maids didn't go into the kitchen at this hour, you weren't going to risk showing any signs that you knew that something was wrong, you didn't want to provoke them.

The phone rang and you hurried down the stairs, one of the maids picked it up before she could reach it.

“Arrow House” She said and you watched her carefully as annoyance crossed her face. “One moment please” She looked over at you. “It’s for the chef, some sort of family emergency.”

“Pass it along.” You ordered and turned on your heel. You were going to need a bigger gun.

You took a steady pace, calm as ever shutting the door to Tommy’s study. Opening the secret cupboard you picked the biggest most intimidating weapon. You loaded the heavy gun with surprisingly steady hands.

Then you made your way to the kitchen. Walking down the hallway a maid or two poked their head out only to know better than to ask. They scurried away, hopefully to hide somewhere safe. You took note of the front door being open and hoped that they had run.

You pushed open the heavy wooden door leading into the kitchen. You were met with brutal noises that set a fire in your veins. Looks like you were late to the party.

Coming around the corner with the gun ready to be aimed, you saw that your husband was the cause of the noise, the slightest bit of relief hit you.

Thomas could handle himself better than one of the maids could. They took no notice of you watching them closely. Tommy had clearly taken a few blows himself, you hoped that the vast majority of blood covering him was the other man’s.

Suddenly Tommy pushed the large man off of him, you didn't give them a chance to steady themselves before blowing the chef’s head off. You watched Tommy jump, before realising it was you with the gun, he registered you there but there was no relief spreading across his features.

Before you could do anything Mr. Sidekick had grabbed you from behind, probably going to try and bargain or kill you in front of your husband. Neither were on the menu for today. The gun hit the tile with a loud thud. Without needing to think about it you grabbed the long serrated hunting knife that you kept tucked away in one of your many pockets. You hated how cutting into the flesh and veins of his neck felt like something you’d done in the kitchen many times. The knife was sharp enough that it felt like cutting into raw chicken.

The man's body hit the tile floor, you were covered in blood. Shock of the situation was starting to run over your body. You didn't want to kill anyone, ever. But life was hard and she wanted to stay alive more than she didn't want to kill someone. Tommy’ arms crushed around you and you jumped, almost trying to push him off. Suddenly you relaxed against him and realized that you shouldn't have killed them. They died full of information that could have been used to protect your family. Panic fought its way through the heavy numbness of shock.

“FUCK Tommy, I'm sorry.” You choked out, tears making themselves ready to fall down your cheeks. He held you tighter.

“Don't be, it's alright. First time is the worst. Just breathe.” His voice sounded strange.

“No, Tommy I shouldn't have killed them, they had information. We could have tortured infor-”

His mouth was on yours and you realised you had never needed him this badly before. His touch, his tongue brought you back to safety. He made your body feel safe enough to inhabit. Your hands were in his hair holding him to you, his large hands were gripping your hips tight enough to leave bruises. The pain and pleasure grounded you just as much as it pushed you out of your mind. Suddenly he broke the kiss.

“Come here.” He growled. Your body understood before the words took hold in your mind. You let him guide your hips against him, wrapping your legs around his waist. His hands held your bottom tightly and he set out of the kitchen. You let out noise of protest. You needed him now. Right now.

“I know love.” He responded in a tone that made you shiver. He quickly got you into the ensuite bathroom, sitting you on the edge of the sink, he kissed you deeply. Your body singing with relief at the attention. You weren't paying attention enough to realise he’d washed his hands till his wet hands were trailing the inside of your thighs.

You almost laughed considering you were still covered in blood everywhere else. You didn't understand why that would take priority till two of his fingers were deep inside you. You moaned and felt filthy realising you would have fucked him regardless of blood, or the dead bodies next to you. Something that should disturb you, instead you felt blood surge through your body at the thought of knowing that’s how desperate you were for his touch.

Dead bodies, murder, blood, if he was touching you it didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

You were clenching around his fingers in record time, a small scream tearing out of your tight body. Once your body had rode out it’s orgasm, he moved away from you. You hated every second his body wasn't on yours. He turned the shower on then proceeded to rip your clothes off letting them fall around you onto the counter. He hurried his own clothes off letting them pool on the bathroom floor, his eyes never leaving your body. Blood, death, evidence all around the two of you and yet you were sitting legs open dripping for him.

“Fuck, you’ll be the death of me.” He mumbled before pulling you off the counter. Your legs were unsteady so he held you close taking you into the hot spray of the shower.

His hands did a once over getting most of it off you before he pulled you away from the water. He pressed your body up against the cold tiles on the other side of the shower. His fingers were back on your clit, then deep inside you again.

“I need you.” The words were more of a growl than a command. He didn't waste anymore time, he picked you up by your ass. Open legs draped across his strong forearms. Then he pressed you into the tiles, cock stretching every part of you. You were squished against the tile wall with so much force that you couldn't take a deep breath even if you wanted to. Each deep stroke pushed things further away. Your body had no room to carry any burdens. Your breathing picked up and his arms kept your legs wide open for him. When your orgasm came crashing down, it was easy for him to hold you open, keeping himself seated deeply inside you despite the force of your walls contracting. He kept you like that, deep inside you. His cock barely pulled out of you before forcefully hitting the spot inside you that made you feel like you were going to die. You could tell he was getting close, this position made it so you could feel the throbbing of his cock. It was enough to make you cum again. This time it forced him over the edge as well. Your body's contractions milking every last bit of him into you.

Finally you relaxed. Your arms went slack around his neck, your face coming to rest on his shoulder.

This numbness was not shock, the lack of feeling was due to the barrier he’d just made around the two of you and the rest of the world. He didn't put you down, he just rested your weight against the wall so he could grip you properly. Then he pulled you back into the hot water. The part of you that was disgusted by your actions also wanted to protest about being held like a small child. But you remained slumped against him, his half hard cock still inside you. Eventually you trusted your legs enough to stand.

“I can stand.” You whispered. He let you stand but didn’t let go of you. You both stayed there entangled, adding soap to the mix to get rid of the remaining blood. Once you were both properly cleaned off he helped you dry off. You realised that with two dead bodies in the kitchen and a family to protect, getting into your bed and curling up next to him was not an option.

The thoughts of the family being met with similar situations was enough to get your head back in the game. You dressed quickly then grabbed a top sheet out of the linen closet, Tommy went to make the necessary phone calls.

Going into the bathroom you removed anything from the pile of discarded clothes that was important. You carefully got all the bloody clothes on to the sheet tying it up. Then placed Tommy’s stopwatch, lighter, and silver cigarette case, along with a few of your things into the sink. You wiped them down with haste and placed them into your pockets once clean.

You got the bundle downstairs just in time to catch Johnny Dogs talking to Tommy.

“Remind me never to piss you off eh?” He said with good humor. You couldn't manage a smile or a witty joke, you could keep yourself together to protect the others but there was no way you could manage your usual cheery composure.

“Are you burning the bodies?” He seemed a little taken back.

“Yes.” He responded looking at the bundle of clothing.

“Can you take care of this too?” He looked at Tommy who gave him a nod.

“Of course.” He took the bundle then you went back up to grab your bags. After placing them into the car, you were relieved that Tommy had spoken to the maids already. The kitchen was already being cleaned up. After that they were ordered to go home with double pay till he called them back. Johnny dogs would wait till the house was clean and vacated.

Now to enjoy the impromptu family vacation. You could already feel the added tension the family being cooped up in Small Heath would add to the already horrible situation. But mostly you were looking forward to being close with them again.

You slid across the bench seat of the car and rested your head on Tommy’s shoulder. It would only be a half hour of rest but it was better than nothing. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his hand gripping your thigh.

[holistic-alcoholic]

In the Eyes of the Beholder

Posted the final chapter of the big fic for the stb-bingo!

And for those of you who read it I have some notes on What Happens Next (too long for ao3):

- Howard dies out of alcoholism-related illnesses. He almost feels remorse at the end and tries to leave SI to Tony, but Tony says suck it, and Stane gets the company. (Maria and Tony reconcile! She likes James!) In 2008 Stane orchestrates the kidnapping to make Tony create better weapons (he doesn’t have anything really good after Howard’s death). Tony’s guilt ridden because he thinks making the choice to leave SI in Stane’s hands was the reason Bad Things happened. He creates Iron man. The kidnapping itself is less than 3 months, though. Tony introduces very alive Yinsen to his very angry husband. Fun times for everyone.

- James: if I had a nickel every time I accidentally became a superhero’s sidekick/babysitter…

- Coulson is still on the job during im! Everyone at SHIELD thinks it’s a shitty job because they think nobody’s getting anything from Tony. There are not a lot of people who remember Agent Barnes’s time at SHIELD, tho. Coulson has a tea party with his two good friends (he is Phil from 5th chapter!! He and Tony are friends now!). Easiest job he’s ever done.

- Vanko and Hammer trying to kill Tony: 🔫 James: 🔫 🔫 🔫 Tony: babe pls stop apprehending my enemies before I do anything it’s embarrassing James: you are SICK go TO BED

- oh yeah Pepper is there, her and Tony are bros! her and James are also bros! she also is the ceo of Stark Resilient from the almost beginning because Tony needed a business person for when it’s all too tiring.

- also Nat isn’t there cause Coulson wants another tea party with his friends. He lies to Fury about that (I think it’s very funny if Fury doesn’t know. Like nobody really knows, it’s been a while since James worked there and his identity was on a need to know basis. Coulson needed to know because he started as James’s secretary). He gets a heavy bonus after. Tony makes him play double agent and steal any stuff that Howard left there because there might be some info on a potential new element. 

- the avengers movie is basically the same, but with more old married couple bickering

- Tony: met your bff, he’s a dick and we almost killed each other. James: oh, it went well? Tony: … James: I know you both. The fact that everyone is alive is a blessing.

- Coulson: I suggest we make him the leader of the team. Fury: is that the fucking winter soldier? why the fuck would we do that? Coulson: he’s the only one who can make both Stark and Rogers behave. Tony: yeah that’s true. James: Phil :( I want to be a househusband :( why are you all like this :(

- James becomes the leader of the avengers. mostly it’s running around with a broom to hit everyone who’s being stupid and self-sacrificial and yell TONY NO! STEVE NO!

- for im3 I have two options: 1) it doesn’t happen at all because Tony’s not a dick in 1999 2) it happens but they kidnap James. It ends very very quickly.

- no cap2 because James and Peggy ended hydra way earlier! Steve and Sam just jog together for a long time. Sam eventually becomes a part of the team but it's a very awkward process because Steve doesn’t know how to make friends normally.

- no aou because I don’t like that movie. also JARVIS is alive.

- civil war is Tony and Steve yelling at each other about responsibility sitting in the kitchen while James cooks dinner for him. At the end he makes them both eat and go to bed then looks at the camera with a vibe of a kindergarten teacher. 

- they beat thanos in like a second. just your usual friday.

- at some point winteriron adopt a ton of kids and retire. only after that Tony makes like a tweet with the ‘oh yeah we’ve been married since the 90s’. it breaks the internet.

[chuplayswithfire]

this thought just hit me but it's got me in my chest, its really got me here, but i don't think edward is actually a violent person at all. violence is a tool of the trade and a means to an end and he's absolutely aggressive as a front, but we don't really actually see ed being physically violent when its not for a job until the very end of the season, and i don't think that's a mistake.

ed's primary response to feeling humiliated or threatened is to threaten others, but he doesn't actually attack them. think about the french captain - when that man uses a slur against him, he gets up, he yells, he raises his voice, but the man is on the ground in front of him in a heap, perfectly vulnerable, and ed never once touches him when he's screaming and yelling, even when it might be easy and expected for him to kick him around.

he orders fang to kill the man, and in an exceedingly horrible fashion, absolutely, and its an expression of his anger, but its also about setting an example and reputation. you use racial slurs against blackbeard? you insult blackbeard? you die screaming horribly.

and ed doesn't watch. ed doesn't have it happen in front of him. ed doesn't even seem to enjoy it so much as he's fucking furious and setting an example, but he never gets his own hands dirty with it.

in the same way, when he threatens someone for the loot - its the clearest example of him turning aggression on like a switch, stabbing a knife, threatening violence, but never actually USING violence.

on the party boat, in that horrible moment at the party? his response is to get up and make himself bigger and louder and threaten but again, he doesn't try to hurt anyone. we see that he HAD his weapon, and there were plenty of knives at that table, and blackbeard could absolutely take down a bunch of snobby, snotty, rich punks. but he DOESN'T. he flees, and only thinks about actually engaging in violence when he's too far away to do it. and he lets himself be talked down in seconds.

when we actually see ed commit some physical violence for the first time, its against his abusive father, in what appears to be at least a slightly premeditated kill to remove his father from his and his mother's life. we see that ed's father smacked his mother around, that he threw plates, that he was a drunk and expressed his frustrations with violence - and killing him would appear to be the last time ed struck out at a PERSON in violence that wasn't about the job

(person because he did kill that snake viciously and with prejudice, though i think thats reasonable tbh. reminds me of myself with the broom every time i see a bug in my house -)

even with calico jack, ed's violence is all games and fun - shooting bottles, shooting drawers, getting whipped, staging a turtle vs crab fight, throwing coconuts at each other - and the only time he gets physical otherwise is when he snaps jack's oar over his leg and dives off the boat. even though finding out your friends have been sold out by one of your oldest buddies is absolutely the time most people would throw a punch, ed doesn't.

the first time we see him be violent towards a person in the present is with izzy when he punches him in the face directly after being released into his care and being told stede's going to die now, because of izzy. stede, who ed loves and who izzy KNOWS ed loves and who ed knows izzy knows ed loves, just to make that sentence more confusing. it's the first time we see ed react with violence and its equal parts to get away and defend stede as it is because of the emotional upheaval.

the next time we see ed lash out with violence is after he endures a truly terrible amount of homophobic aggression from izzy. it's emotional and verbal abuse, but its also just, such utter homophobic aggression, and this might be controversial but i think its perfectly RIGHT that ed strike izzy in that moment. when someone tells a queer person that their affection, their love, their mourning, their grief and loss for their partner makes them a THING that should have been killed, that doesn't deserve to live, that they would be better off dead than being openly affectionately mourningly queer? that person actually does deserve to face some physical violence!

fuck that shit!

izzy absolutely deserved to get the shit KICKED out of him in that moment, but its not about what izzy deserves, its about what ed needs, and what ed did not need was to be kicked at his lowest with every sore spot to goad him into violence (reasonable, understandable, VALID violence) that absolutely seemed to take him right back to his father, to that abuse. there's a reason ed didn't just become blackbeard again, but the kraken, who was born in ed's survival instinct but also his need to escape an abusive situation. ed becomes the kraken again because he is horrified at himself and terrified of himself and what he's become, if he can be like his father and lash out with violence when he's angry, and because izzy *validates* that and tells him that this thing he hates is all he can be.

but ed isn't naturally inclined to violence, its not his natural state, its a defense mechanism that kicks in when all else is lost. we KNOW its not just because of disrespect because izzy?

izzy is utterly disrespectful to edward at various points in the show. izzy calls him a twat to his face. izzy questions him. izzy insults him and yells at him and edward laughs it off and shrugs it away and changes the conversation and leaves the conversation. izzy initiates violence at every turn with so many characters, and ed doesn't step up to the plate to dish any out until the very end, when he's hurt and vulnerable and doesn't think he can get away from this. i DON'T think that ed has been violent with izzy this whole time, in their history. it doesn't fit with ed's behavior. it doesn't fit with izzys - izzy would have called ed out on it, if ed normally punched or slapped or choked izzy for insubordination, because its clearly part of their regular routine.

this is why it means so much that ed shoves lucius over, barely seeming to be present, fully emotionally distanced, that he cuts izzy's toe off in the dark and makes him eat it in a show of calculated violence without much emotion at all, has the crew marooned with utter calm, and then has a sobbing breakdown the second he's behind closed doors. violence has been part of his life as part of the job, not as an emotional outlet, and its killing him to make it one.

[starlightxsvt]

Cohabitation with the Devil | Chapter 1

pairing ➳ devil!jihoon x female!reader

genre ➳ little bit of horror, crack, romance, fluff, eventual smut.

warnings ➳ so much cursing, use of a broom for self defence, beating, mentions of demon summoning, a lil bit of spooky stuff at the beginning.

word count ➳ 2.2k

summary ➳ somehow an entity ends up in your house and it isn't planning on leaving anytime soon. you know trouble comes in many forms but you never thought it would come to you in the form of a rather short but devilishly handsome, extremely annoying demon.

a/n: the first installment is hereeee~ this was really really fun to write so I hope y'all really really enjoy reading this lol. also I realized I unconsciously made this banner Attacca themed??? Lol.

Happy reading!

║ series masterlist ║

Something feels wrong.

Very.

Your apartment feels oddly eerie and unbelievably cold even though it's barely autumn. Chills run down your spine as you sit up in your bed, eyes squinting to see in the darkness; the only shimmer of light pouring through your window. You try your best to scan the room in the darkness of the night but nothing really seems out of place. It's just that you keep feeling weird. Like you are being watched.

You haven't gotten an ounce of sleep since you got in bed which was probably a couple of hours ago. The digital clock beside your bed reads 3:05 am and you groan in annoyance. You have classes tomorrow, you should be sleeping right now.

A sudden sound, just outside of your bedroom, probably in the living area if you had to guess tears you away from the thoughts in your head as you almost jump out of your skin.

What the fuck was that.

It's the middle of the freaking night and you are alone in your place- well not anymore because there has to be someone here, you are confident now.

Did someone break in? Oh shit.

Mustering up all your courage you gently crawl out of your bed and tuck your phone inside your pajama pocket while softly tiptoeing out of your bedroom.

Entering your living area, your eyes try their best to scan the place amid darkness, afraid if you turn the light on you'll alert the intruder. The broom you used for cleaning the mess earlier rests against the counter of your kitchen and hastily you grab it. Clutching it tightly in your hand, you walk around your dimly lit apartment and weirdly, find nothing suspicious.

Frowning you stand in silence in the middle of your living area for a while.

Are you really hearing things? Or did the intruder escape? But there is no sign of breaking in. Huffing in annoyance your hands reach for the light switch in the switch board and as soon as the lights turn on you come face to face with a man, standing a few feet away from you, his blank eyes set on you.

Your first reaction is letting out a blood curdling screech which makes the man flinch and cover his ears. But you don't stop at that, using the broom in your hand you blindly start smacking him, swinging the weapon around wildly to make sure you don't miss. The man stumbles and falls on the ground but just for safety you hit him a few times more before shouting, "You have five seconds to get out of my house you fucking thief!"

The man groans, clutching his head and yells, "What the fuck!"

"What the fuck?" You bellow. "You motherfucking son of a bitch get out right now or I'm calling the police!"

The intruder manages to stand up while you take a few steps back and scowling at you as he hisses, "Oh my Satan! What the fuck is wrong with you, you crazy lady! You fucking called me here!" Scoffing you chuckle dryly, "The nerve of this pervert! Get the fuck out you sleazeball, I've had enough." The man growls, "You literally fucking called me here! And will you stop calling me names?!"

That's it. You've had enough. You reach for your phone in your pocket, ready to call the police only the device doesn't turn on. Frowning, you tap on the screen multiple times, confused as to why it isn't working suddenly. You clearly remember charging it before bed.

"Yeah, it won't work." Your intruder drawls, watching you warily. You whip your head towards him, "What?"

He rolls his eyes, "I said it won't work, lady. Put it aside, it's useless now."

Silently you stare at him. Who is he and what the fuck is he saying?

Rubbing your temples, you try to inhale deeply, "Listen man I'm too tired for this shit. Get out while I'm being nice or I'll kick you out myself."

"You listen, woman. You fucking summoned me here hours ago and now you don't remember? Are you really that dense?" He crosses his arms over his chest, rasing a brow. You gawk at him, more perplexed and annoyed.

Seriously? What the fuck is going on? Is this a nightmare?

Seeing you mute the man sighs frustratedly, "I'm a devil. You and your stupid friends literally summoned me here a while ago? Remember? With that pentagram and shit?"

Okay now you are definitely sure he's a stalker. Gritting your teeth you hiss, "You are really pushing your luck you creep."

The self proclaiming demon lets out an annoyed huff, "You really won't believe me huh?" Before you can reply the broom in your hand is snatched away by an invisible force and starts floating in the air.

Oh my god.

Blinking a few times you make sure you're not seeing things before you let out the second scream of the night. Yelling at the top of your lungs, you stumble while trying to run away and land on your ass, scrambling backwards from whatever he is. "Fucking hell! Stop screaming or I'll gag you woman!" He hollers and the broom drops to the ground and you immediately shut up, covering your mouth with your hands.

The demon starts approaching you while you tremble in fear and then kneels on one knee to come face to face with you. Now that he is close you see the glint of red in his pupils before his eyes go black, completely hollow, full of nothing but darkness which rakes shivers down your spine. You're tempted to scream again but you stop yourself and hold your breath, waiting for him to snap your neck or suck your soul or whatever they do.

"Do you believe me now?" The demon's voice is soft, something you didn't expect and furiously, you nod your head, unable to reply verbally. A triumphant smile crosses his face as he stands back up and motions you towards the couch, "Shall we have a proper conversation now?"

-

You are seated on the couch opposite to the one he's sitting on and you keep squirming and shuffling, trying to attain the most distance between you and that God forsaken creature. He watches you with an amused stare but doesn't speak, letting you try to calm yourself down and stop vibrating in fear. You don't remove your eyes from him for a second, afraid he'll hurt you if you do so. The man- demon, you observe, is dressed in an impeccable crimson suit over a shiny black shirt. His black hair is styled away from his face and appearance wise he looks nothing like what he says he is but an elite business person. His skin is pale, porcelain like and his face is... beautiful if you were to say.

With the lack of words from the two of you, there is nothing but unnerving silence in the air and the rhythmic ticking of the wall clock. When you are unable to bear it any longer you break the ice, "W-what do you want from me?"

"Darling I should be asking you that. You're the one who called me here." The demon raises a brow at you. "No, I didn't, my friends did. Go haunt them or something," you murmur.

He chuckles, "It doesn't work like that. First of all, you all summoned me here, in your house. And secondly you gave me your earrings as the offering. So I'm tied to you." He shrugs.

Earrings? Oh right. The stupid ritual book that Hoshi brought said that the summoners had to place an offering to the demon and the offering had to be a personal belonging. Your dear friends talked you into offering your earrings, an old pair which you didn't use anymore and you happily gave them away, knowing it would never work anyway.

Well, the situation seems different now.

"Fuck," you whisper the lump in your throat and bring your knees closer to your chest. It feels awfully cold. "What do I have to do to get rid of you? Do an exorcism?" You ask the devil and he smirks, a diabolical smirk.

"Have sex with me."

You start choking on your saliva trying to tell yourself that you clearly, definitely heard him wrong. You have to. He is just messing with you. Right?

Your alarmed wide eyes seem to bring much pleasure to the evil entity as he grins, licking his lips.

"I'm Jihoon, by the way. Can't wait to have you underneath me, sweetheart."

Enjoyed reading? Please let me know your thoughts as they really encourage me! Ask box is always open!

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[magicalqueennightmare]

The Soldier and His Witch (Pt. 4/8)

Rick gets his eyes opened on how deep his feelings for you are starting to become.

Word Count: 4,325

Warnings: Violence,Cursing, mention of sexual things

You weren't really used to trusting people. Yeah you trusted Harley, Floyd, hell even Boomerang to a certain extent. You trusted those that you knew were society's outcasts. You trusted those that you knew were looked down upon for no other thing than being who they were.

So how had you come into living above the poster child for the American military? Rick was either second or third generation military you couldn't quite remember. He'd gone to fricking West Point for fucks sake. He was trained in every type of weapon there was along with hand to hand combat. He was almost as dangerous as the task force he headed or could be anyways. 

Rick was also kind. He'd check in on team members if they got hurt during missions, standing all stoic like in the medical ward off the to side as to not be in the way but remaining there until he was satisfied they were ok. He wouldn't send the task force into anything he wouldn't dive head first into himself. 

You knew even while you were lying in bed almost willing sleep to come that if you simply leaned off the bed far enough to tap three times on the floor he'd call you to check in. The two of you had been a bit amused to figure out your bedrooms were set up almost identical meaning your bed was directly above his.

Over the last few months since your release you and Rick had become a lot closer. After missions you'd share a drink sometimes or grab a bite to eat. He'd told you about his family and his upbringing and you'd been slowly tiptoeing into your own story. The thing was he never judged. No matter what you told him you trusted that it would stay with him and he'd always listen intently. Yeah somewhere along the line Rick Flag had managed to work his way onto the list of people you trusted. He was no longer simply your boss, or the guy there so you knew someone on the outside.

He was someone you looked to on missions when your back was against a wall or to ensure his wasn't. He was someone that you knew honestly did care about your well being and that meant a lot to someone like you.

------

You started to reach for the glass of water on your nightstand and cursed when you accidentally dropped it. When it shattered on the floor you grimaced. "Can control a damn tornado but you drop a frickin glass of water?" 

You slid out of bed on the other side to avoid any shards so you could grab a broom. You spotted your cell light up on the charger and grabbed it before it even had a chance to ring "I dropped a glass. Don't ask me how I managed it but there are broken pieces all over my bedroom floor" was your greeting in place of a hello. 

Rick's laugh was what you got in response "Can't sleep and taking it out on your dishes again?" You rolled your eyes at the reminder of a few weeks before when you'd managed to break not one, not two but three plates after coming in at two in the morning post mission. After that you'd invested in plastic plates. The three were all you had so you simply replaced them. "Oh are you trading in being a Colonel for being a comedian now?"

You balanced the phone between your ear and shoulder so you could pull the broom out from next to the fridge then walked back into your room to clean up the mess. "Of course not. I can't take you with me if I career change" he teased. You shook your head and started to sweep the floor. "Did I wake you up?" You asked as you filled the dustpan then walked across the apartment to dump it.

"No I was going over a few last minute replacements to the team Waller sent over" Your attention perked at the mention of the upcoming mission. You'd be leaving first thing in the morning and Waller had actually approved your request for Boomer to come along. The only thing was you and Rick had then ended up needing to spend two hours vetting a few more members to add from the talent pool at Belle Reve only for Waller to tell Rick last minute he needed to pick a few special forces guys to tag along as well.

After what happened with GQ and his original crew Rick had been hesitant to pick more guys but apparently a few seals and a marine or two had thrown their hats in the ring for this particular mission. You were rescuing a senator's daughter. "Well who'd we get?" You asked and he chuckled "We? Careful you're actually starting to sound like a lieutenant"

"C'mon Rick just tell me so we can both catch a couple hours" you replied and could almost see the smirk on his face when he replied "Well one of the seals is actually one you helped save. Nikolas Morgan" you thought back and asked "That the tall one isn't it? He's like six five. Dude's taller than you" he scoffed and you raised an eyebrow but didn't mention it further when he pushed past Nikolas quickly "The two marines I've worked with in the past. They're solid and have no issue with metas"

"Yay so I don't have to kick their asses" you cut him off with a laugh. "Exactly. So meet me down here at four then we'll head out?" He asked and you nodded despite knowing he couldn't see you "Yes sir. See you bright and early" "Good night Y/N" You smiled then said "Night Rick" and hung up before heading back into your room. You tapped lightly on the floor before climbing into bed to try to get a little sleep before morning.

------

Rick cut an eye up at the ceiling when he heard you tap. It was a goodnight tap. You'd gotten to doing it after missions so he knew you had wound down and was attempting to sleep. Just a way to keep in contact with each other.

He turned the lamp off next to his bed and turned over. Four would come fast and he needed to have at least a couple hours in him.

"So I go to Belle Reve to escort my kind while you go meet the marines and Nikolas?" You asked Rick following him downstairs to his jeep. He glanced back at you with a look you couldn't quite decipher despite having grown accustomed to his moods "Yeah I'll go pick up Micheals, Perez and Morgan. I figured you'd be more comfortable rounding up Boomerang, Shadow and Vipin"

You nodded at his jeep "So you'll drop me off right? Who's driving transport to the tarmac?" He smirked at you as he stepped outside then dug a set of keys out his pocket and held them out "You are lieutenant" your eyes widened "How the fuck did Waller approve that?" He shrugged with a laugh "There's a chance she doesn't know. Don't get in a wreck or let Boomer talk you into making a break for Australia and we'll be fine"

------

When Rick parked just outside Belle Reve's gates he cut his eyes at you. "I'll walk you inside then after that it's all you. That ok with you?" You nodded "I can handle Boomer and a couple other metas just fine"

Rick climbed out and met you at the front of the jeep. You were already geared up minus your weapons. Whereas Rick was allowed to be armed going into Belle Reve you were still not. Your powers were considered weapons enough. Didn't matter though Rick had your guns and knives ready to hand them over the moment you met him at the tarmac. Just needed to round up your half of the team.

------

You followed Rick through the multiple gates and doors. Once you were inside you were met with a couple guards. Lawson was off for a month on a much earned vacation but these guards knew you and weren't like some of the old ones that had been around under Stevenson. 

"Fellas" you greeted and they all nodded in turn. "Your crew is waiting" Reid, one of the younger guards, added so you shot him a smile "Wanna help me round 'em up? Colonel Flag here has to go meet up with the more savory, less suicide squad half of our team"

Rick gave you a look you'd seen a few times. He didn't agree with the "suicide" name  he found the term degrading and preferred to tag you all as Task Force X because it sounded more official and in his words "You're a team that does things others couldn't. Just because you are or were criminals don't take away from that" my how he'd changed his views since you first met him. 

"Yes ma'am. Of course" Reid replied so you nodded to Rick "Go meet the others. I'll see you at the tarmac" "Hurry up" was the last thing he said with a wink only meant for you to see before turning to walk away.

------

Boomer was the first one you pulled out. Despite some looks from the guards you knew he'd behave for you. Next you stopped at Vipin's cell. Counting yourself there would be a total of three metahumans on this mission. 

Vipin had agrokinesis which was the ability to manipulate plants at will. He'd been caught using it to rob banks. Three banks down they finally figured out why vines and the pretty azalea bushes out front were in fact walking the money out of the bank. "Wakey wakey" Boomer called, slapping the cell door. 

Vipin was a little shorter than Boomer so he was about five ten. The dark splash of freckles across his nose was in stark contrast with his pale complexion. His dark brown hair was in naturally tight curls close to his head and he smiled when he saw you standing next to Boomer and the guards "Time to go?" You nodded "On your feet. Planes waiting with our gear" he stood up and nodded to Reid as he walked into the hall to stand between you and Boomer. "Let's get it then"

You cut your eyes at Reid "On to the women's side to collect Shadow?" He nodded "Yes ma'am" you led Vipin and Boomer behind you walking next to Reid and trying to vet any questions the two guys had about the mission without overstepping any confidentiality that Reid couldn't overhear.

Shadow was one of the metas you'd met right after you were released. They had actually brought you in to talk with her about integrating onto the task force. Her real name was Hestia from her Greek heritage. She was nearly as tall as Rick and all lean muscle. She had umbrakineses. She could manipulate darkness. Hence her codename. She'd been arrested for killing the Greek ambassador and six of his security units. You'd seen the crime scene report. It was impressive.

You walked into the women's side and glanced around. You and Harley had both been kept in solitary most of the time you'd been there except for yard time so you weren't perfectly versed. Reid led the way to her cell. She was finishing a braid down the center of her head. She looked up when she heard all of you approach "Time to go?" You nodded so she stood up "Lead the way"

------

After an argument between Boomer and Vipin on who got to ride shotgun, you finally made it to the tarmac a short time later. Rick was standing next to the plane waiting for your arrival. You parked the transport bus and waved a hand towards him as you all climbed out "Vipin, Shadow you've met our fearless leader Colonel Flag. Rest of the crew for this mission is on board. Your gear is at the head of the plane. Gear up, strap in. We're wheels up in five"

Boomer shot you a wink "You sound so professional babe. I nearly believe ya" you shook your head at him "Go gear up and don't give anyone a hard time or I'll get Vipin to grow a daisy coming right out of your mouth" he laughed and headed on board stopping long enough to tell Rick "She's a mean one when she wants to be"

Rick shrugged as you walked closer and you barely caught his response of "Well I can say most of the time she's pretty nice to me. Maybe it's just you" Boomer gave you a scandalized look which made you laugh as he headed on board leaving you and Rick on the tarmac. 

"Micheals, Perez and Morgan ready to go?" You asked and he nodded "Yeah Morgan has told Micheals and Perez all about you" You noticed how his jaw tensed when he said that and started to question why he seemed so on edge but assumed it was the mission at hand "Really?" You asked with a smirk. "Yeah. Apparently you left an impression" he replied so you grinned "Good. Let's load up and get on it. Daylight is wasting" 

Rick handed you your guns and knives watching as you put them in place then walked onto the plane already on Boomerang about not playing well with others. He didn't tell you Morgan's description which was "She's as badass as she is beautiful. She could kick my ass and I'd thank her" it'd taken everything in Rick to not knock him out then and there. He already placed a call that insured Morgan wouldn't be involved in any more task force missions after this.

He took a breath then headed on board slamming the level to shut the loading door. "All accounted for!" He hollered to the pilots then sat next to you where you'd left an empty space as always. He was glad to see Boomerang had claimed his usual spot on your other side but Morgan had drawn you into conversation enough that you barely acknowledged Rick as the plane took to the sky.

"Ok we'll do this with two teams of four" Rick spoke standing at the head of the plane. The pilot was circling your drop spot while the final plan was went over one last time. "How are we dividing?" You asked from next to him "Pick a team" he replied and you nodded then looked at Boomer "Oh you know you're gonna follow me" he grinned "to the ends of the earth" 

Shadow raised her hand "I'm with you. No offense Flag" he nodded "None taken" you glanced at Morgan, Micheals and Perez. "Morgan?" He grinned "Glad to be on your crew" 

When you looked back at Rick he seemed a bit off but nodded nonetheless "That leaves Micheals, Perez and Vipin with me. We'll take eastern entrance. You four take western" everyone else moved to check their gear one last time so you lightly bumped Rick's shoulder with your own "Meet ya in the middle" "Yeah" he replied with a smile that wasn't quite genuine but you knew at the given moment that was the best assurance you'd be getting.

------

You were moving quietly around the corner of the building. Shadow had pulled enough darkness around the four of you that you'd made it this far with no issue. Just needed to breach the entrance then the real fun would start.

You were leading with Nikolas behind you, Boomer behind him then Shadow bringing up the rear to ensure the darkness didn't slip any.

"Morgan" you whispered and he moved up closer "Yeah?" You motioned to the door "You and Boomer open 'er up and I'll go right down the middle. Between me and Shadow a twister made of darkness is gonna have them ducking and running"  "That's why Flag likes you" Boomer replied with a wink before him and Nikolas slipped away Shadow working to keep them covered.

Once they had the doors open you nodded to her. The two of you stood shoulder to shoulder. You conjuring a twister and her smothering it with darkness before you sent it forward into the compound. You could hear windows breaking and men screaming. Once you were certain it had cleared enough of a path you flicked it away with a simple twist of your wrist.

The following silence was split by gunfire. You nodded to your crew "That's our signal. The other crew is in let's go back em up"

-------

You were first around the last corner of the compound. A gun in your right hand keeping the left free to use your powers if need be. Instead of the enemy you were met with the barrel of Rick's gun. A few emotions spread across his face when he realized it was you. "Vipin helped clear them out quick on this end" you grinned "Should've seen the Shadow twister"

You nodded back to the trio in your crew "Keep the hall clear" then looked back at Rick "Winds to rip the door off then you and your crew take out any guards?" He nodded "Sounds good to me"

He stood next to you so you holstered your gun and concentrated on the door. You were glad you'd gotten Shadow to braid your hair also or it would've been flying wildly from having to tunnel the winds down to focus on just the hinges of the door. It burst open and you used two fingers to send it flying down the hall. 

Rick grabbed you with his left arm tucking you close to his side as gunfire exploded from the guards inside. He returned fire giving you enough time to twist and grab your own gun. Between the two of you the five guards fell quickly. 

The remaining members of your team looked impressed when you glanced back "What?" You asked Boomer who shrugged "You two only needed us to get in" you rolled your eyes then followed Rick inside. 

------

Bianca Ramirez, the girl you were rescuing was fifteen. You found her tied to a chair, bloodied and absolutely terrified but alive. "Are you the good guys?" She asked as you pulled a knife to cut her ropes. You shoved a thumb in Rick's direction "He is. I'm debatable depending on who you ask but we're gonna get you back home"

Once she was free you crouched in front of her "Can you walk?" She nodded so you gently grabbed her hand "Ok. Stay between me and Colonel Flag and I can promise you no one will lay a finger on you" She nodded, shakingly following you into the hall. 

You looked at the crew waiting "Micheals, Perez and Morgan clear the way out. Boomer you, Vipin and Shadow watch our backs. Me and Rick have Bianca covered"  No one questioned you giving orders instead of Rick they just moved to do as you said.

On the plane after Micheals who had medic training did a once over on Bianca and you bandaged any of her wounds she fell asleep with her head leaned over on your shoulder.

You remembered fifteen. You thought you were grown but deep down at that age you're still a kid. Bianca was tired, traumatized and somehow felt safe surrounded by the lot of you.  

Right before she fell asleep she asked your name. You told her both your actual name and codename. She'd smiled "Wait till my little sister hears I was rescued by a storm witch" You'd laughed and told her what Vipin,Boomerang and Shadow could do along with how decorated the servicemen were that had come along on this mission. Her sleepy response was "Kind of cool crew you got here,if you ask me"

-------

You'd caught Rick's eye across the plane and smiled slightly. He smiled back then turned to his conversation with Micheals and Perez. Everyone had survived another mission successfully. Bianca was safe and sound. Senator Ramirez was relieved to hear that and Waller was thrilled to have another person with pull on her good side.

He couldn't help but let his eyes wander back to you every now and then. You were talking to Boomer, Vipin and Shadow. He didn't know what the subject was but your laugh reached his ears. It was light so as to not wake Bianca but it was genuine. The sound alone pulled another smile to his face. 

"So Flag wanna share about your makeshift Lieutenant?" Morgan asked, walking up to the trio of men with a smirk looking over his shoulder where you now had your feet propped up across the way in Boomer's lap.  "What about her?" Rick asked, feeling himself bristle. 

Micheals and Perez picked up on the demeanor change in the Colonel, both men moving so if they ended up having to diffuse a fight before it could start.

"Man, she's something else. Metahuman you found in Belle Reve,helped save Midway City then made an impression enough on Waller she got released and is second in command to the task force" Rick nodded hesitantly "She's earned it. I wouldn't trust anyone else to have my back the way I trust her" 

Morgan nodded "Yeah. She's damn good in a fight. Seeing her with a gun in one hand sending lightning bolts flying with the other. She's amazing" "Yeah she is" Rick agreed with a small smile that quickly fell when Morgan asked "Is she single?" "Excuse me?" Rick wanted to make sure he'd heard right before he reacted. 

Morgan looked back at you with a look that was a lot more sexual than appreciative of a talented colleague. "Is she single? Woman like that...bet she'd be one helluva good lay" 

------

You were half asleep with your feet in Boomer's lap and Bianca curled up on you one minute the next all of you were startled awake by a scuffle at the back of the plane. 

You looked up in enough time to see Nikolas stumble back from Rick then Micheals and Perez move to separate him and Rick. "Help with Flag dammit" you cursed at Boomer between clenched teeth. 

Bianca had rightfully gotten spooked at the noise. You grabbed her gently trying to reassure her she was safe "Shhh...Bianca it's me. It's Y/N.." "Storm Witch" She mumbled, still half asleep but shaking in fear. You managed a smile "Yeah storm witch. You're safe sweetie. Go back to sleep"

Rick looked your way guiltily and you mouthed "What the fuck?" At him wondering just what exactly had you missed.

------

After whatever went down between Rick and Nikolas had chilled a bit you were still watching them both skeptically. Rick more so. He hardly ever lost his temper with his team. Hell during missions it was kill or be killed. He didn't take down enemies with menace, just the urge to survive. 

Boomer sat next to Rick the rest of the flight and you moved to get a hand free so if you needed to separate any more masculinity coming to a head you could. Every time he caught your eye he'd quickly look away. It was clear he was embarrassed from losing his temper like that but the question remained..what had caused it?

When the plane landed Senator Ramirez and his entire family were waiting along with Waller. She quickly dismissed you,Boomer, Vipin and Shadow so you cut your eyes at the three of them "C'mon I can at least get you all a decent meal before you gotta go back" you looked across at Rick who was talking to the senator "What about Flag?" Boomer asked so you shrugged "If he doesn't make it back to Belle Reve by the time I'm leaving guess I'll grab a cab"

------

Rick ended up texting you by the time you were pulling into the gates at Belle Reve "Got caught up with Waller. I'm sorry" you texted back "It's fine" and turned your phone off. Rules were you couldn't have it on inside the prison anyways.

You one by one walked them all back to their cells but in reverse of the way you'd picked them up leaving Boomer for last. "So what was that with Flag and the seal?" He asked and you shrugged with a humorless laugh "I haven't the slightest. That's not like Rick. You know me, I'm usually more hot headed than he is" "Maybe you're rubbing off on him?" He suggested and you shrugged again "I don't know. Anyways I'll check to see how many years you're down to tomorrow and let you know next week" "Appreciate it sweetheart. Go easy on him when you see him" you nodded "Of course"

------

You walked out the last gate into the cool night air expecting to have to call a cab but directly across the street sat Rick's jeep with him in the driver's seat. His head was leaned back and for a moment you thought he was asleep. 

Once you got across the street you tapped on the window. He leaned up and gave a tired smile when he saw it was you and rolled the window down "Can I give you a ride home since I missed dinner with the task force?" You nodded and walked around climbing into the passenger seat.

Once he pulled off you turned to face him in the seat. He dutifully kept his eyes on the road but you knew you had his full attention "So how's Bianca?" He nodded "She'll be ok. Hope it's ok I gave her one of your email addresses"  you smiled "Of course. She's a sweet kid"

You stayed turned towards him and when he finally got to a red-light he turned to face you "Is there something else you wanna say Y/N?" You raised an eyebrow and he smirked slightly "Just ask" you nodded "Ok. Why did Nikolas Morgan leave the mission with a black eye he didn't receive until we were headed home?" "He said something I didn't like" he replied matter-of-factly. "Which was?" You asked and groaned when the light turned green.

------

Rick could feel your eyes on him as he parked and knew the moment he did that you would question again as to why he'd hit Morgan. What was he supposed to tell you? That Morgan thought you'd be a good lay? That he'd let a lot go before and after the mission but when he'd heard another man talking about you like that he'd seen red? That all of a sudden the thought of another man touching you like that made him see red? 

He cut his eyes at you when he parked and smiled slightly at the fact that you'd laid your head back against the seat and had your eyes closed. Somewhere along the line you'd taken the braid out of your hair so it was in wild waves around you but he'd never seen a more beautiful sight. The literal calm in the middle of the storm you carried with you. 

"He made a comment about Metas" he lied hating himself the moment he did. Your eyes popped open and you nodded approvingly "Well as much as I love you coming to my defense, next time wait until we drop off the kid we just rescued. I barely got her back to sleep" he nodded "Of course" you climbed out the jeep and walked around to meet him "C'mon Colonel Flag be a gentleman and walk a lady to her door" he rolled his eyes playfully but let you grab his arm and pull him along with you to the door "Of course"

------

When was he going to admit that his feelings for you were starting to run a lot deeper than colleagues or even friends. After what happened with June and how Waller had bastardized that he was hesitant to even attempt but the way you leaned your head over on his arm as the two of you trudged up the stairs he had no idea how he was supposed to keep acting as if the feelings he had weren't there, as if he hadn't nearly snapped Morgan in half for looking at you like a piece of meat. As if he didn't want anything more than for you to one day maybe be more to him than this. 

------

When you got to your door you went up on your tiptoes to leave a kiss on his cheek "Goodnight Rick. On behalf of myself and all metahumans thank you for the defense. I'll see you come morning" he smiled "Goodnight Y/N. I told you before and I meant it, I'll always have your back"

Tags: @mochminnie @lacontroller1991 @xoxabs88xox @cluelessnitwhit

[wing-ed-thing]

Mob Wife (Kakuzu x Reader, ft. Hidan) Part IV

Synopsis: The Akatsuki are in emergency mode. Kakuzu leads Hidan to the only place he knows for sure is safe to regroup.

Word Count: 

Warnings/Tags: Violence, Blackmail, Language, Fem!Reader, HouseWife!Reader, Moll!Reader, Attempt at Humor, Ceremonial Drinking of Sake, Traditional Wedding

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Finale

Notes: It’s back. Writing Hidan has got me feeling a certain way rn

It rained on your wedding day: weather fitting for, and not minded by, a criminal and a deserter. As you approached the temple, he tried to tell you many times that you were going to be turned away, but as you spoke to the shrine masters, you were greeted warmly and welcomed. You were young with a warm face that offset Kakuzu’s intimidating exterior. Everyone always loved you right away, a way about you that Kakuzu could never begin to consider replicating. With your open heart, you brought a foreign concept into his world: acceptance. The few priests and priestesses at the temple on the border of the Land of Stone looked upon you kindly, a kindness that you and Kakuzu continued to repay years later. The small village of a few hundred that housed that shrine would never see a shinobi attack. Now, only you continue to repay years later.

You could tell that Kakuzu didn’t like being in the temple in the slightest. He had never been one for religion or structure or ceremonies, so you tried not to laugh the first time you saw him in his montsuki haori hakama. You wondered how much grumbling went into getting Kakuzu in such formal attire with a goofy, lopsided grin. Even as he gazed upon your amused, upturned lips, his infamous temper laid unusually dormant. Kakuzu never thought that he would see his own wedding day. Being the kind of man he was, he never thought that he’d have one. He didn’t think that he deserved it, but for once as you stood in front of him in your shiromuku, all of his jaded thoughts seemed to fade. Of course with you, all doors opened.

Kakuzu knelt next to you at the shrine, ever stoic. He put his hair up before the ceremony and secured it neatly behind his head. You remembered it when it was short. As the priest announced your marriage to the gods, you couldn’t help but glance at Kakuzu out of the corner of your eye. He held himself together better than you imagined he would.

“Well, yes. I am an adult,” he would tell you later.

But at that moment, he received the first sakazuki. The priest's vessel tipped over the small cup two times before pouring. Kakuzu brought the dish up to his lips and took three sips: pointless seeing that neither of you had parents, but traditional nonetheless. You were taught to always honor your ancestors, but you doubted that Kakuzu felt the same. You received your cup and the same sake, taking the same three sips and the ceremony went on. The second sakazuki represented your vow to care for each other. You received a slightly larger cup and once again, you each touched the sake to your lips three times. The third represented fortune and fertility.

The Heavens, the Earth, and the People.

You offered Kakuzu a light smile as you moved to the next part of the ceremony, a gesture to assure him that it was almost over. He would have rolled his eyes in any other setting, but Kakuzu didn’t even have to speak for you to know exactly what he meant. You knew that more than anything, he was happy to be with you. Out of all the things that he had done as a shinobi, he could handle a stuffy ceremony.

“I thought you liked stuffy things,” you teased him later, parts of your robes slung over forearms and shoulders for better mobility as you walked through the gardens. Your hand rested in his as you balanced yourself on some raised, rock ledges. His expression could have easily been mistaken for exasperation as he scoffed, but you knew better. He looked happy. “You’re a shinobi. Now that’s stuffy!”

The priest had you stand and you received a flowering branch to offer to the gods. As you held the sprig in your hand, you glanced at Kakuzu. His eyes met your own and you quietly prayed over your offerings before presenting them together, stem first. You bowed together, the rituals vaguely familiar to you as you performed them.

With the blessings of the gods, you had received your rings. Your thumb ran over the skin of Kakuzu’s hand. They had a familiar gruffness to them and held smooth bumps from old scars. His fingernails were short. You slid the band onto his ring finger. The black suited him. He squeezed the fingers of your other hand. The space behind your eyes stung as you held back tears watching as he placed the ring on your hand.

Neither of you had family, so you thanked the shrine priests and priestesses and enjoyed their hospitality. You took a single picture. It was the same frame that you held in your hands now.

Kakuzu walked out a few hours ago, taking Hidan with him. Your kitchen was, for the most part, wrecked. Your doing. Your tears had since dried up and your trembling was beginning to fade. With a shaky breath, you brought yourself to your feet. You placed the picture face-down on the counter and reached for the broom in the corner. Your heart hurt, but the world continued on. And if the world continued on, so should you.

***

You didn’t want to eat, you didn’t feel hungry, but you stood over the sink anyway biting into whatever you could pull from your fridge. You cleaned up the kitchen to the best of your ability. Trash piled up in neat bins outside: splintered wood, broken plates, and any other particles of dust that you managed to sweep up. You could handle it later. At least the rest of the kitchen was spotless. You glanced down at the thick wedding band that sat in your hand. Twirling it between your fingers, you bit into your bell pepper like an apple. That was the kind of night you were having.

A harsh pounding came from the front door and for a split second you wondered if your husband came back. Ex-husband. You didn’t think so. You kept your eyes on the kitchen window but the pounding continued adamantly. A slight shiver went down the back of your neck. The next farm wasn’t for miles. That was definitely not Kakuzu.

You put down your pepper and rolled out your utensil drawer. Your fingers danced across the kunai strapped to the bottom as you silently hoped that your training hadn’t worn off too horribly. The banging ceased as the doorknob began to rattle. The door swung open and you launched your kunai with immense velocity and precision. It was snatched out of the air.

“Fuck! That hurts like a bitch!”

Hidan stood in the entryway with his hand still held up and wrapped around your weapon. Blood dripped onto your floors as the kunai clattered to the ground. He shook out his palm, now sporting a deep gash. All you could do was stand and blink, wondering why he was there and if Kakuzu was with him. Hidan threw his cloak onto the rack. It slid, hardly staying on as he marched over to you. The door didn’t fit into its frame the same as it did before and there was no sign of Kakuzu.

“Can you patch me up, lady?” He looked around your kitchen for somewhere to sit, but found none. He dripped more onto your floors. You quickly guided his wrist over your sink and looked up at him. Beads of water fell down his face. You didn’t even hear the rain outside.

“What happened?” you asked sternly, your voice cracking a bit with worry. Hidan groaned.

“You fucked up my hand, can you at least fix me? I’m traumatized over here.” You sighed, yanking him forward before turning the running water on over his hand. You held it there for a second as if telling him to keep it there before running off to get your medical kit.

“Hidan, you have to tell me if there is an emergency,” you said as you heaved the box onto the counter from your spare room. You cleaned his palm with soap and disinfectant before applying pressure. While you didn’t have to worry about blood loss with Hidan, you also didn’t want him passing out on your kitchen floor either. That would make one more thing to clean up. “Hidan—” You pulled the gauze extra tight. He didn’t seem to be listening to you. —“Is there an emergency?”

“No, lady, it was just cold as fuck and Kakuzu’s got a stick up his ass that’s worse than usual. But you already know what that’s like.” The atmosphere stood still at the mention of Kakuzu’s name.

You knew that you shouldn’t worry about him. As far as you were concerned, he had just divorced you a few hours ago, and even if he hadn’t, you were certain that he could take care of himself. You apparently didn’t do a great job at masking your worry.

He usually didn’t care about the effect of his words, but as you frowned to yourself, Hidan couldn’t help but consider how sad you looked. He pursed his lips, never one for comforting others. For a split second, he wondered whether or not he should have brought up his partner at all. Two fingers gently bumped the bottom of your chin and you looked up at Hidan.

“Don’t look so down. It doesn’t look good on you.” He hesitated. “He’ll come back.”

You dropped his wrapped hand, not noticing that you’ve been drawing loops around his knuckles with your finger.

“I don’t know. He’s usually pretty certain about things and I can’t dwell on that.” You shook your head, turning the water back on to wash your own hands. “You have to go. I know that you have things to do and my— and Kakuzu won’t like that you’re here.” He pouted as you moved around him. You had blood to clean up.

“But it’s raining…” he pouted, expression falling in your peripheral. “And he’s miserable right now which means I’m miserable. C’mon let me stay, I’m miserable.”

“Hidan.” You turned to him and leaned on the doorway from your kitchen to your small living area. “Your partner doesn’t live here anymore.” You flicked on the entryway light, your bucket in hand. Hidan followed behind you, now taking your spot in the doorframe.

“But that doesn’t mean that I have to leave. You know he’s being stupid, but that doesn’t mean that I need to suffer out in the rain because Kakuzu’s a crotchety, old bastard.” You sighed, resting on the handle of your mop. You shook your head.

“I’m sure by the time you get to town the two of you can find somewhere to stay.”

A silence overtook the house again, full of raging, but unspoken thoughts. You squeezed out the yarns and tended to the floors. It, at the very least, gave you something to do. Hidan’s blood already dried part way and you scrubbed harder, but not before it was snatched out of your grip. Hidan shoved you over to take your place. The backs of your knees hit the armrest of the modest couch that you almost toppled down onto. He took to scrubbing.

“So what happened?” he asked.

“Sorry?” Hidan peered at you with his bright violet irises.

“I’m trying to be nice and ask you about your problems, so you better start chatting before I lose interest.” The mop splashed back into the bucket. “Who else do you get to talk to?” You pursed your lips. You knew that he was biding his time to wait out the rain, but his words weren’t wrong. The hurt still felt fresh and perhaps you were feeling a bit desperate to get it out of your system.

“I’m not sure what happened. I asked, but, well, you know how my… how Kakuzu is.” And you found yourself retelling the entirety of what happened: the argument, the ring, Kakuzu’s misplaced comments about children. You left out the part about the wrecked kitchen. “And then he said something about ‘now letting this happen’ which had to be the last straw for me.”

“Did you want brats?” Hidan had since stopped his cleaning. Surprisingly, he listened intently to your rambling as he propped himself against the wall. You swung your feet back and forth over the side of the couch.

“I never really thought about it before and Kakuzu and I never talked about it, so I don’t know why he brought it up.”

“Because he’s a dumbass who thinks too much. I never know what’s going on in that fucked up head of his. If I had a home to come to like this with a cute little thing in an apron—” Hidan scoffed. —“Fuck the Akatsuki. I wouldn’t be hiding you out here because of some band of losers in capes.” That made you laugh.

“You’re in the Akatsuki,” you giggled and Hidan raised a slender eyebrow.

“So? I’m the best one out of all those guys.”

“The best out of some band of losers?” The corners of Hidan’s lips turned upwards into a brief smile as he rolled his pretty irises.

“Listen, I got my devilish charms going for me which is better than Ragdoll. He looks like a fucking pin cushion.” Your hand came over your mouth as you laughed. Hidan looked down at where you sat, pride swelling in his chest at the prospect of cheering you up. But your face quickly morphed into something sentimental.

“Aw, but he’s a cute pin cushion…” Your bottom lip curled into a pout, but at least you didn’t look quite as sad as before. Hidan leaned a bit forward.

“He’s a little over a hundred-eight centimeters tall and has a big-ass nose.” You let out an amused breath. “I’d hardly consider that ‘cute’.”

“But it’s a cute nose. It’s slender and has that cute little bump in the middle.” Your voice grew quieter. Another silence, the third of Hidan’s visit.

It all felt too confusing for you. Maybe Kakuzu was never that interested in you in the first place. You shook your head then and there, much to Hidan’s confusion. Despite Kakuzu’s attitude towards most everything, you knew that he cared deeply about you. Perhaps he had grown bored. Despite ninja work not being of interest to you, you knew that many found the profession very exciting. You ran many profitable operations in the surrounding area, but more money could be made elsewhere, you knew that much. Your lifespan was nothing compared to Kakuzu’s nearly a century of living. He had done everything in life that he had wanted to do and all you had little to show for your existence.

You kept replaying his words about the time that you had. That you had enough time to do more. But if you really thought about it, you were content living the way you had been. You were happy and for a split second you considered whether or not Kakuzu actually saw himself as worthy of you. You shook your head for the second time. No, if anything, you considered it the other way around. You’d imagine that you would come off as boring and childlike to an immortal.

“That’s a lot of thinking.” Hidan had taken to wandering around the room. You hadn’t noticed. “Fuck thinking. You deserve better than taking care of some place in the middle of nowhere and running numbers on boring-ass shit.” You smiled again to yourself, something else that you didn’t notice.

“I actually like it here,” you mumbled. Hidan yawned.

“Can I stay now?” You deliberated to yourself before grabbing the bucket and the mop away from him. He didn’t do a great job, but you found yourself relatively uncaring at the moment.

“Yes, you can stay,” you sighed. Hidan was already halfway down the hall by the time you finished your sentence.

“Good because I was going to crash here anyway.”

@brokennerdalert @unsatisfiedanddisappointed @krispypotato @meme-queen-1999​

Notes: Reader and Kakuzu had a Shinto wedding if anyone’s interested. 

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed and otherwise supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.