#also him specifically calling her baby here instead of elizabeth makes it even funnier

[nachosforfree]

[ID: an excerpt from the Fourth Closet novel. It reads: "--mous mass of wires and prongs. It reached its full extension and snapped open and shut with a steely clank. Jessica screamed, jumping back. The thing fell to the ground, then slowly recoiled back into the girl's stomach, which closed seamlessly. She smiled at Jessica, running her finger up and down the now-invisible line of the opening. Jessica averted her eyes.

"Baby, that's enough," Afton whispered. Jessica came to-" End ID]

This passage is so funny to me. Elizabeth just weirdly runs her finger up and down her stomach and Jessica and William are both like "cut that freak shit out, freak"

[amandaklwrites]

Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (POTC #4) (2011)

Genre: Action/Adventure/Fantasy

Rating: 9/10

Movie Review: 

Now, here we have Jack’s tale. 

I forgot how FUN this movie is! I probably haven’t seen it since it came out in theaters (my god, almost 10 years ago??). This is a story for Jack, and it feels brighter and funnier and just overall more fun. There are still depths to characters and growth, but not like in the original trilogy. 

Yes, this movie can be a little problematic. For instance, though I loved Syrena and Philip’s love story, it felt like it could have easily been thrown out. To me, it was a trope just to help parts the story, instead of being a main aspect of the story that drives it forward (compared it to Will and Elizabeth, honestly. It was their love that became the reason why they were a part of this pirate world). Why was a clergyman strapped to the mast of Blackbeard’s ship, honestly?? In my opinion, though like I said, I liked their characters together, it was like they were trying too hard to make them like Will and Elizabeth. And where did she take Philip when he was dying? Did he die? Did she save him? I want answers! It was great that they had it where a mermaid and a young man (from opposite sides/enemies) found common ground and grew to understand each other, and then to love. But it was very underwhelmed, and felt rather out of place, compared to Jack’s story. 

Angelica made this damn movie. Finally, we have a female pirate! (Yes, Elizabeth is one, but I mean a woman who has been a pirate for a long, long time, during a time before this movie). Penelope Cruz was fantastic in this movie. I loved her character’s spunk, conviction and strength. But she also had a sensitive side, with her love for her father and for Jack. To me, Jack and Angelica’s love story were more cemented in the story. They had a specific drive for one another. But I like that it’s complicated and not like other typical love stories. They are pirates after all. Jack may have saved her life (that trick on Blackbeard was well planned and I called it!) and they have admitted their love for one another, but he still dumps her on an island. It’s like, to me, I know they will keep running into each other and finding themselves in shenanigans with one another, especially since she is now young forever. 

Blackbeard was awesome. Ian McShane is a favorite of mine (like a character actor who seems to pop up in a lot of stuff I watch) and he MADE this character. He was cruel, he was uncaring, he was somehow worse than Barbossa, or even Davy Jones in my opinion. He didn’t even give a damn about his daughter-- he played tricks on them all, he took the drink thinking he would live forever instead of saving his daughter. It’s like Jack said, he didn’t deserve her. But this movie shows that there are true villains like that, that just don’t care about anyone. It’s a universal truth, unfortunately, and that someone doesn’t ever change. 

Okay, Barbossa’s returns keep getting better and better. Him in that wig and clothes were hilarious and I wanted to laugh every time I saw him. He pretends to be a part of the British military just to go after Blackbeard. I really want a movie just about Barbossa please-- even if he doesn't have an arc, let me just watch him. I was so glad that he was a huge part of this movie (I forgot honestly), and he kept the humor and tension there, and just added more to the movie. 

The mythology was well done. I liked the twist on the Fountain of the Youth they did, and the fantastical elements about it. It didn’t feel too far out of place, it didn’t feel like it was random or strange. Just different. And I liked that. Though, I do have to say, why mermaid tears?

Overall, to me, this movie didn’t have as much depth as the original trilogy. There weren’t layers upon layers of storytelling, character arcs, themes, etc. that the other movies contained. But on the other hand, it was SO MUCH FUN. And I think that’s why this movie still does well enough in the world. It has more of one part of it than the other. I found myself rewatching it the other day, sucked into the joyful, teasing comedy and Jack’s reactions to things are the best. Like smacking the hat off the soldier when he’s escaping from the King. I laughed so hard at that. 

I think that’s the point of this one. To just sit back and have fun. And that’s fine to have too. It might be a good release from the darkness of the original movies. It’s like a reprieve in a way. I loved this movie (though only a little less than the trilogy), and found myself enjoying every damn second of it. 

P. S. For fellow Once Upon A Time (ABC) show fans-- did you notice baby face Peter Pan?!??!!!