#also hey what’s up? I’ve been fucking abysmal!!!!

[theundeadmetalheadapolagia]

I’d like to thank everyone on my dash vis-à-vis stranger things for not uh. Doing That.

[elialys]

hey. as a fellow writer from niche fandoms and unpopular ships, can i just say i really appreciate you being upfront about how much lack of engagement sucks. really thank you. especially because it comes from someone like you who has a fair amount of engagement, but you know what? you’re right being pissed. i know i am. i come from fandoms where people are constantly yapping about lack of content yet none of them engage w/ each other. i ended up leaving bc i felt like i was screaming to a wall. and you know what? i haven’t stopped writing, just posting. bc why bother? so yeah, i AM writing for myself, and also keeping it from myself. idc if that’s petty honestly, like no, it doesn’t make me feel any better if someone out there might end up liking it one day if they’re being completely silent about it. fandoms aren’t supposed to be one-sided. i’m fine w people not reading my stuff cause they don’t like it. you can straight up tell me you hate my ship and i will be like. cool 👍 but when people do read and like your stuff and yet never say anything, that’s something that i don’t like

anyway sorry for rambling, know that you’re much appreciated. i remember you from my doctor who days and i wish i were in your fandoms so i could keep reading your stuff. ❤️

For the longest time I didn’t say anything because I realize that in a lot of cases, I’ve had what you’d call great engagement, and I’ve always been so thankful for the love my stories have received throughout various fandoms. But the decline is STEEP these days, and I have the hindsight of having been writing/sharing fics online for two decades, so I have a lot of 'data' to compare these days’ numbers to.

That’s the thing that has always gotten to me. NUMBERS. Being so, so aware of how many people click on our fics, and how few of them actually engage with a comment. Even at my most “popular”, I didn’t get more than 5% of my readers interacting with me; it felt like a lot because I had a lot of readers, so it meant more comments, but it still was only 5%.

Like you said, it’s this knowing that people are reading, that they are coming back chapter after chapter, yet they don’t bother engaging with us, even when most of us basically BEG in author notes for them to comment and make us feel less like word spewing machines and more like creative members of their online community. What really got to me this last month was updating my fic for The Last of Us, a chapter that got 1,000 hits in two weeks, and I got 10 comments for it. I was just…how the fuck are 1,000 people reading and only 10 of them bothering? Especially since that fic had averaged 3 times that amount of comments for months on previous chapters.

Every time I get disheartened by the increasingly shitty reader engagement, I tell myself that’s it, I’m done writing fics. But then I always go back to it a few days later because I actually LOVE writing fics. Like, fuck yeah, I do write for myself and actually enjoy it for myself (in a love-hate kind of writing relationship obviously 🤣). I do it because I am in love with the characters I’m writing about, and fascinated by their dynamics and relationships, so it’s genuinely a THRILL, and my biggest passion.

But the abysmal engagement these days is just…it makes me feel like shit, there’s no other word for it. Because I spend so much time and energy on those stories (because I want to and I LOVE to write), but as a fic writer, there’s always this part of me that’s excited to be SHARING it with the fandom. Because twenty years of this have gotten me used to at least some decent interaction, and feeling like I'm part of a community. But then the hit count goes up and the comment count stays low or nearly empty, and it’s just gutting. People just consume, consume, consume.

Honestly, GOOD ON YOU for still writing while deciding not to share with your niche fandom at the moment. I’m thinking I might do the same with the rest of my Tess & Ellie AU, because I want to see it through and finish it for ME, but I’m done spoon-feeding an apathetic crowd. I’ll reach out to my most loyal readers and regular commenters when the day comes, and give them a way to read the rest of the story, might even just post the chapters straight on my blog here like I used to do, but not on AO3, not for a goooooood while.

Maybe it is petty, maybe I am just butt hurt. But fuck it, it does hurt my feelings, and I’m the one spending hours of my life writing those things, so I’ll do it my way. And I will continue to call readers out, and ask them to step up. We are human beings, not chatGPT, we just want some appreciation for sharing our art.

[nat-20s]

First flash fic!

@rocketsagan-blog prompted:

"The pets of an experimental scientist, a cat and a dog, manage to get into the lab while their human is away and manage to get into so much equipment that they manage to do some wild science-magic and now talk and understand each other. The story could begin right when they realize what has taken place. Maybe they're casual friends, maybe they hate each other? What could happen!"

~*~

It was that damned dog’s idea in the first place. I had to follow her, obviously, what kind of cat would I be if I just let her run rampant in our human’s lab by herself? Absolutely inexcusable. So, yes, I may have entered the lab while the human was away and, yes, I may have knocked over a flask or two, but I can hardly be to blame here. The mutt needed supervision. I felt it was my duty as the...premier intelligence of the house.

Of course, I could hardly do much to stop her once she started sticking that stupidly long snout in everything. She’s three times my size and, much to my chagrin, does have bigger teeth than me. Let the creature push some buttons. Once I think we’re in real troub-“Hey, do you, like, have to stand up there like you’ve got a stick up your ass or is that just a hobby of yours?”

I’m hardly proud to admit it, but I did, in fact, jump. In no reality should the walking carpet known as the dog have the ability to talk to me, but she came through loud and clear. To borrow one of my human’s particular turns of phrase, “Oh, what the ever-loving fuck?”

It was the dog’s turn to startle, and startle she did. “Since when do you talk?”

“I’ve always talked! It’s you that’s being making those...those abysmal grunts!”

“Excuse me?! Where the hell are you coming from? I know the kind of noises you make at the birds and you don’t exactly sound like sunshine.”

The dog wanted a fight. I suppose to be slightly fair, I also wanted a fight. One scratch against that good for nothing’s muzzle and she wouldn’t be freaking me out with her speech any time soon. “Listen up you mange-ridden flea-bitten half-crazed-”

“Fuck off. We’ve been in the same house for years, there’s no damn way that one of us would have mange OR fleas while the other wouldn’t.”

“I notice you didn’t exactly refute half-crazed.”

“Bite me.”

“I’m strongly considering it.”

Much to my amazement, this made her laugh. Huh. Not the terrible, retching laugh I expected, in all honesty. It wasn’t even mocking. Perhaps she didn’t know how or perhaps she just. Wasn’t mocking.

Well, I can hardly say if this little..development is going to be an improvement to the household situation, but at the very least it’s sure to be interesting.

[zumpietoo]

Friendly Reminder:

She apparently did not spend much on “reading comprehension”, extra amusing, since she, you know, is also a “writer”.....Or I guess (hope???), it’s willful.....cuz surely even SHE isn’t THIS dumb....(and unable to read/grasp 15/16th of what was said)....

Naturally, the GG all follow suit, and show how equally dimitted they are:

Umm....no shortage of your little friends view it that way, too, dude....there’s one whose entire subtitle is about Jizzy “winning”. And another endlessly yapping about winning/fighting the writers....

Oh yeah....Snorty babbled late last season to Jodie Mason/janAss about “going into battle”, so seems like y’all sure do!

Also, yes, stillbitter, it’s all about “high art”.....

Plus, OFC, I’m NOT a Barfie, but, again, they do have a canon ship and Jizzy is never coming back....

Also, don’t watch, don’t bother yourself if it sucks so hard, hmmm???

Both attempts to grasp “moral high ground”? Epic fails!

Oh good lord, Snorty....

A) YOUR writing sucks

B) You’d be fapping yourself raw! I mean, LBR, both #hey#34U, talking endlessly so Jug can “fix” Slizzy and Tabi cucking Jug all would be abysmal writing, but YOU thought it was fucking glorious! And couldn’t stop jacking off for weeks...

C) I thought we were all “just guessing/knew nothing”, anyway???? So how do U know the “writing is terrible.

D) Nobody’s “telling you what to do” (wow, your reading comprehension DOES suck ass, huh?), but also love, again, just how badly you managed to misinterpret EVERYTHING...

Oh stillbitter, obviously----especially since PP and KokeJ have zero chemistry....however, I’m not a Barfie and it’s the last season, so completely irrelevant...

Actually, again, Liar of Slizzy, they kinda did? Plus, again, Barfie are engaged, Jizzy are ded. There WAS a preggers scare and, to quote, Snorty----who knows what happens? Actually, had there not been a comet, there would’ve been an engagement party, so really, those? Not nearly as far off the map as yours...

Also, dude, YOU truly ARE the last one to everrrrr cast shade in this department. When have YOU been correct? Plus, I never called ANY of those....but let’s look at Jabi v. Jizzy, hmmm????

I’ve been ded on like 99.9% of the time. YOU????

Yes, Snorty, I would....”L” meaning #nojizzy4U!!!! Jabi, yessss.....

Ummmm....actually, yeah, you are. And I used to laugh really, really hard at Barfies and still, again (as noted) think they tend to get carried waaayyy away. But, again, they’re a lot closer to calling shit correctly than you are.

Speaking of: there wasn’t actually Jizzy for 4 season, cuz season 4, itself, was about splitting them up and Slizzy cheating.....because SH were done. AND....the precise reason, back in the day, Barfies were delusional is because then SH were (usually, etc) together.....they aren’t and Cole and PP fucking despise each other, that’s the entire point, dumbasses!

But yeah, it’s also the key you can’t admit!

[barbwillbrb]

A little nervous rant coming under the cut because I got a lot of thoughts. Tw: weight loss, health issues*

*UPDATED TAG FROM “HEALTH” TO “HEALTH ISSUES” BECAUSE NOW MY FYP KEEPS RECOMMENDING ME ED BLOGS DISGUISES AS “FITNESS”

I AM SICK AND SCARED YOU FUCKS.

When you’ve been casting aside the shitty awful way you’ve been feeling because “eh, I’m probably just overly stressed/being a baby” only to find out “hey actually something may be wrong here let’s check you out.”

I finally went to the doctor today to try and figure out why tf I can’t seem to eat anything without immediately getting sick (nausea/stomach pain) afterwards. My appetite has been abysmal for weeks now. I have been so, so tired and weak, and have had to miss out on a lot of cool opportunities/events because I physically don’t have the strength to go. This is not like me. I also know I should have gone sooner, but it’s really easy to just… minimize what you’re dealing with if you have other shit going on. I just kept writing it off to external stressors making me a little burned out but nothing extreme.

At my appointment today I was told I dropped a lot of weight in a few short months and that terrifies me. Hearing the numbers, having it explained by a doctor put it into focus that this is not in my head, but very real and affecting my body.

Here’s hoping in the end I’ve just been too burned out/stressed and that’s all that has me messed up. I’m waiting on some lab results, and at least I have some anti-nausea medication.

also woohoo my period arrived as well so I am extra moody while I sit with this info.

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

Fair warning: I’m watching this in bits and pieces because TWO HOURS AND TWENTY TWO MINUTES AND 24 SECONDS FOR A SEASON FINALE IS BONKERS STUPID.

Putting a read more because this episode is long and therefore this post is super long.

1.) Yuri just removed something from the helicopter, which is extremely rude and potentially stupid.

2.) I’ve decided I hate Yuri.

3.) the audio balancing of this show is garbage.

4.) Hey, did we need this Joyce and Hopper changing simultaneously scene???? Like at all??? It’s not very good filmmaking and this season finale is OVER TWO HOURS LONG.

5.) Also I know they think it’s funny to have Joyce be in a Hulk Hogan shirt during the scene, but I think it just is off.

6.) This flirting session would be better if this finale WAS NOT OVER TWO HOURS LONG. And the reason it’s happening is because Netflix is avoiding syndication.

7.) Robin knelt to boost Nancy lmao.

8.) I still stand by the ‘Make him pay’ moment mirroring Han and Luke’s interaction. Anyway, I want Steve and Eddie to smooch.

9.) Yeah I’m skipping the intro. Chop chop. We’ve got 2 hours left.

10.) Would have been fun for Kali and her group to show up for the finale.

11.) Mind Fight.

12.) Argyle was cryptic.

13.) Did we actually need a scene of Max, Lucas, and Erica searching for Vecna? We know what they’re doing and what their plan is. We don’t actually need to have our hands held this fucking much. Fourteen year olds don’t either. I promise high schoolers can follow context clues sometimes.

14.) Oh come the fuck on. A guy just HAPPENS to be walking his dog past the abandoned goddamn Creel house so that their location is compromised????????

15.) Oh, Hopper knows El is fighting a monster in Hawkins with Joyce’s kids.

16.) Oh my god, the particles are just in Russia just for this bullshit so they can fight it.

17.) are all surfer boy employees stoners????

18.) Metal concert ahoy. I’m taking a break.

19.) okay session number two. Eddie’s putting sweetheart on. Also I’m realizing that people who have someone bring Sweetheart back from the upside down are wicked overthinking things. He’s playing the upside down version.

20.) Steve crawled. backward as a baby and I can’t focus on that because Im’ realizing the LIGHTING AND THE AUDIO BALANCING ON THIS SHOW ARE GARBAGE.

21.) Steve suffered head trauma as a baby that could have killed him. Isn’t that funny?

22.) I love Nancy and Steve being friends but acting like Nancy and Steve did each other favors at the end of their relationship is stupid.

23.) Ugh, the confession. I DON’T WANT THEM TOGETHER. STEVE DOESN’T WANT THEM TOGETHER. HE SAID HE WASN’T INLOVE WITH HER LAST SEASON UNER TRUTH SERUM. I have a conspiracy theory that the Duffers saw people shipping Steve/Eddie and went, “Fuck, gotta try to force Stancy.” But also I don’t remember nor do I care to check when part 1 and part 2 of this simultaneously short and abysmally long season aired.

24.) why did Erica need to signal the group outside? Was it just to give a rando a chance to spot Erica?

25.) IDK how Hopper, Joyce, and Murray didn’t anticipate that maybe the demogorgon they helped get out might have killed a fuckload of people.

26.) “I was told the Peanut Butter Smuggler was once a great man.” HEY DUFFERS, DID FUCKING NONE OF YOU REALIZE THIS LINE IS GODDAMN STUPID? Like and I know it’s not supposed to be a joke! The framing is serious! The performance is serious! The music is damn near inspirational! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. And all this happened because you guys just had to advertise fucking JIF of all goddamn things. JIF Peanut Butter, something I don’t even think would be popular in the 80s in Russia in the fucking first place!!!!!!!!

27.) The very blue lighting of this scene fro Max and Lucas is bad.

28.) Can we talk about the Duffers’ love of having a straight couple promise each other a future Friday date only for the season finale to fuck with it? I Haven’t seen this episode, but I know it happens. That’s two seasons in a goddamn row, you dipshits.

29.) Vecna has been hiding out in the attic all goddamn season long. Why is he suddenly downstairs for the finale? Oh right, it’s to make the plan easier to screw with.

30.) My roommate asked me why I wasn’t watching this on 1.5 speed during my last viewing and I’m wondering the same.

31.) Mike in the sunglasses is being pretty cute.

32.) Of course Mike gets interrupted. Because Duffers haven’t met a cliche they didn’t wanna fuck.

33.) LMAO WHAT? Wait, that lego up the nose story was just to be like ���YOU USED TO COME TO ME FOR HELP?’ How is Jonathan suddenly so shit at talking to Will???

34.) oh my god stop mentioning the lego up the nose. I cannot stand that this ‘you can come out to me’ speech has legos up the nose.

35.) Time to go into Max’s brain.

36.) Oh now they’re going into the attic.

37.) Of course Max’s plan isn’t working. The Duffers hate it when a plan comes together.

38.) I hate this blue lighting. It’s digital and it sucks.

39.) I still think a much more interesting storyline would be these kids forgiving themselves for human emotions, even ugly ones. Especially because this puritanical ‘thought crimes are real and bad’ schtick is stupid.

40.) lmao what is the point of going back to Will, Mike, and Jonathan just to show them react to what El is saying????

41.) These pizzeria shots could have been cut.

42.) Initiating Phase 3.

43.) Eddie’s fantastic performance.

44.) The song choice is great but I also still fucking hate that Jason got told how to find Erica, Max, and Lucas at all. Like, this is just fucking annoying.

45.) All these images are happening way too rapidly to be anything other than chaotic noise. Like, nothing has room to breathe.

46.) You two idiots, stop screaming about most metal ever. You’re hiding from things that are attracted by sound.

47.) oh no. Everything escaped. Whoever would have guessed that everything escaped in the Russian prison?

48.) Of course the guy died before he could answer who the shadow went into.

49.) Steve’s very good at hopping around shitty CGI vines.

50.) It’s super jarring going from a memory where there’s ALL THE LIGHTING to scenes where it’s all digitally dark and blue BACK TO BRIGHT MEMORIES.

51.) Balloons popping into blood? Someone’s seen IT.

52.) WE DID NOT NEED THIS MUCH BUILD UP TO EL AND MAX GETTING TO THE SAME DREAM. THIS EPISODE IS ALREADY TOO FUCKING LONG. TRIM SHIT. Have it be easier for El to get to Max in her mind BECAUSE THEY’RE ACTUALLY FRIENDS, YOU DUMB PIECES OF SHIT.

53.) I hate Jason Carver so fucking much. Like I hated BIlly and wasn’t sad when he died, but I didn’t actively want him to die, tbh. Just didn’t wanna save him. Jason, I wanna push through a wood chipper.

54.) Hopper is bait.

55.) “This time, it’s gonna be different.” God, I wish, but no, this show is still shit. Actually, wait, no, this show did get somehow SHOCKINGLY worse.

56.) Back to back. Eddie and Dustin. Bros bros bros.

57.) oh suddenly Eddie knows to be quiet.

58.) Vent. All the vents in this show are so huge. And also the bats got smaller because they needed to fit in. The bats from previous scenes didn’t look like they’d fit.

59.) EARTHQUAKE. Because we have time for this shit. JUST GET THIS TRIO TO VECNA. OH MY GOD. Oh wait, Robin’s against a a wall. Steve’s against a wall. RObin’s on the floor and now on a wall. Nothing is going right.

60.) Joyce seems actively stressed out by Hopper heading down a flickering corridor. I’m actively stressed out by how badly paced this all is.

61.) here here doggy doggy doggy. Brennan Lee Mulligan voice: I’m gonna kill that dog.

62.) Blocked one vent. Took the bats exactly 2 seconds to find another vent????? Somewhere?????? Impossible to see in this shitty digital lighting.

63.) Did not know that Eddie starts to climb before he realizes the door is about to burst. Ah, I can see him having a big damn hero realization before he cuts it. RACING AWAY ON A BIKE. Goodbye new lovable character that was doomed by the narrative because Duffers hate new people.

64.) hey why has El not actually gotten to Max yet? It’s been so fucking long.

65.) Vecna is boring.

66.) Oh, Max is pinned to the wall like Vecna was.

67.) God, Jason Carver is so fucking pathetic.

68.) “Normal’s just.a raging psychopath.” No, that’s not true either, Lucas. The duffers just are still really mad no one wanted to date them in high school. And no one wanted to date them in high school because they’re stupid sexist creeps with no real grasp on narrative structure.

69.) “But in the end” - Vecna. Me “IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER, HUH?” I mean, that’s not the words he said, but he might as well have.

70.) oh hi El, nice of you to finally fucking join.

71.) goddamn it just let El be powerful enough to beat Vecna. Have this goddamn show end in season 4.

72.) more biking. Dustin’s about to fall from a ceiling. Yeah, that was a bone crunch sound effect.

73.) Eddie stopped running and I don’t know why. He could have just kept drawing them away.

74.) Hopper’s running from a demodog.

75.) Erica’s running to the house as Jason Carver tries to kill Lucas. HE HIT LUCAS WITH A GODDAMN VASE.

76.) I think I ship Mike/Will and El/Max/Lucas.

77.) Vecna is so raspy. Drink some tea, bud.

78.) IF YOU TOUCH HER AGAIN, I WILL KILL YOU AGAIN. Okay that loses its bite at the end.

79.) And immediately El is losing. LMAO DID WE NEED TO CUT TO MIKE GOING, ‘SHE’S FIGHTING HIM’??? LIKE YEAH, BITCH, WE KNOW. WE CAN FUCKING SEE IT.

80.) Should have rally given Eddie and Dustin some fire.

81.) why is Vecna so overpowered??? EL HAS KILLED A LOT OF PEOPLE TOO. THIS WHOLE POWER JUSTIFICATION THING IS SO STU PID.

82.) can Max get knocked out inside her own head?????

83.) El got sent into Vecna’s mind and dragged up. I literally hate this scene so much and have no respect for it.

84.) Max is being carried into Vecna’s mind. Glad we’re all here. Also yeah, somehow Max’s mind is knocked out?????????????

85.) It’d be fucking hilarious if ‘Papa is dead’ had stopped Vecna.

86.) And by hilarious, I mean it would make more sense than all this shit. “He is the monster, Henry, not you.” Babe that ship sailed after he murdered a ton of children.

87.) I STILL HAVE AN HOUR LEFT. Vecna is blaming EL for doing this??????????????????????? FUCK HENRY. THAT’S SO GODDAMN STUPID.

88.) there’s literally no reason for Henry to have survived getting struck by lightning a bunch in the upside down.

89.) ‘unspooled by mankind’. Both you and Thanos can take your bullshit and jump off a cliff. Neither of you understand shit about fuck.

90.) LMAO WHAT? HENRY MADE THE MIND FLAYER LOOK LIKE THAT BECAUSE HE’S INTO SPIDERS? GO FUCK Y OURSELVES. GO FUCK YOURSELVES. GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

91.) If Vecna is so powerful, it’s stupid that he would need El’s powers and kill 4 teens to get out.

92.) Montage of everyone getting their shit handed to them over Vecna’s annoying speech.

93.) Jason is fucking strangling Lucas. What the fuck?

94.) how is there still 52 minutes left and why did the vine that wrapped around El’s neck look particularly stupid? God, I’m taking a break.

95.) Okay it went back to showing me the vine going around El’s neck again so I need to note how bad it looks. Again.

96.) “Don’t be afraid.” THAT’S NEVER WORKED.

97.) Why HAND SO BIG? Like HOW DID BEING IN THE UPSIDE DOWN MAKE HIS HAND SO BIG? Oh also his head is smooth like an egg.

98.) I’m fine with being shown the pizza crew pulling El out of the bath. That makes sense to show.

99.) ????? Hey Will??? Since fucking when is Mike the goddamn heart?????

100.) Listen, as sweet as this Mike speech is, I kind of wish El had believed in herself without her boyfriend giving her a pep talk about believing in her.

101.) Lucas starts getting the upper hand in this fucking blue lit room just as El gets free.

102. Goofy fucking limb breaks.

103.) Henry flying back is hilarious.

104.) Joyce using the fucking stun thing was neat.

105.) Seriously, how did the Russians have so many goddamn creatures???????

106.) Things are turning around. Sort of. Thanks for burning the fucking monsters.

107.) why the fuck is there a sword in this Russian prison?????????????????????? LIKE WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT EVEN COME FROM?

108.) Can y’all stop making a meal out of killing Vecna and just fucking do it already?

109.) LMAO (epic synth arrangement of Running Up That Hill) Thanks subtitles for telling me that. For the record, it’s not as good as the original or most covers.

110.) Vecna burning again.

111.) So, Max is awake in Lucas’ arms and the teen trio is attacking Vecna. This should feel epic to watch them fight Vecna while Hopper sword fights a demogorgon but it’s….so boring. So stupid. And honestly super fucking unearned. I’m also, even with breaks, fucking exhausted of this show. Fucking end already.

112.) Hopper and Joyce are hugging as a helicopter arrives from Yuri, who I guess had a change of heart offscreen. The place all the interesting things happen.

113.) Eddie is dying because he was too good for this story. Actually, why the fuck is he dying???? This doesn’t actually make any fucking sense. Like I’m so baffled that I can’t actually be sad. Anyway, I feel less bad for not mentioning basically any of this shit in my fanfic.

114.) The duffers can bring him back. Especially since straight up, his dying makes no goddamn sense. He was injured, yeah. He was having a very bad time. BUT NOTHING HE WENT THROUGH LOOKED FUCKING FATAL BITCH GOT KILLED BY THE PLOT, NOT ANYTHING IN IT.

115.) Lucas tells Erica to get an ambulance.

116.) Hey why the fuck is Max doing so badly???? None of this makes any goddamn sense.

117.) This blue light is impeding my ability to care and that says a lot since I cry over butter commercials.

118.) The clock chiming to let the teens know Max died was interesting at least.

119.) JASON CARVER FULLY GOT CUT IN HALF. WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE HIM BE ALIVE????

120.) I am glad Jason Carver got cut in half.

121.) Can we talk about how there’s definitely been 4 gates open at one time before and it didn’t do shit? Why do these 4 suddenly matter?

122.) Damn, everyone’s commutes are gonna suck in the morning. Town got an x through it.

123.) Everyone waiting for El to wait up so she can be like, “Max beefed it because she read the script.”

124.) El touches Max and ??????????? Max reads the script again and okay finally I’m getting emotional and it’s over flashbacks to seasons that sucked less, Yeah, I ship El/Max/Lucas. Fight me.

125.) lmao fucking what? TWO DAYS LATER. God this show is so badly made.

126.) Droves of people leaving Hawkins as a pizza van arrives.

127.) 7.4 earthquake. Hold on, gotta google something. 7.4 is major but not the highest level. I don’t know why I think it’s so fucking funny that it doesn’t beat the highest on record. The highest is 9.5 in 1960 Chile, btw.

128.) ‘A natural disaster of near-unprecedented scale’. It’s literally not in the top 10 of actual history you dumb fucks. ALSO THERE ARE ONLY 22 DEAD. NO OFFENSE BUT THIS IS NOT UNPRECEDENTED. IT’S PRECEDENTED. THERE’S A SCALE. 22 IS SAD, BUT IT’S NOT, PARDON THE PUN, GROUNDBREAKING.

129.) Also the satanic cult shit is still so stupid. Satanic panic was fake. Even Criminal Minds knows that.

130.) WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO DESERVE SO MUCH SUFFERING? HOLY SHIT, WHAT REPORTER TALKS LIKE THAT?

131.) Reunion.

132.) ???? Why would El need to ask why Lucas is at the hospital?????? She literally knows what happened to Max????? WHO EDITED THIS EPISODE?????

133.) Max is in a hospital bed.

134.) “Her heart stopped for over a minute.” She probably could be fine.

135.) Why is El not admitting she did this?

136.) How is there 20 minutes left???? Why do we need to see Steve, Robin, and Dustin taking donations to the high school???? Do we need to watch them do volunteer work?

137.) Vickie is cute but because they’ve like, not at all interacted, I don’t actually care if her and Robin get together. Also they are kind of two samesies.

138.) Steve is such a proud best friend though.

139.) Dustin talking to Wayne and having to tell that sad old man that Eddie was killed by the Duffers for no good reason.

140.) Duffers, people did love him. This speech is just annoying because it was unnecessary.

141.) Jesus Christ, this episode is STILL GOING?????????????????

142.) The cabin needs more than the cleaning supplies that Nancy has. Also, Steve Harrington’s parents still like, don’t exist, so why doesn’t El just hide out with him?

143.) Hey, Jonathan, don’t be a dick to Steve.

144.) Will really does have spidey senses.

145.) HOOOOOOW ISSSSSS VECNA ALIVEEEEEEEEE?

146.) Black car approaches while El has emotions over a coke bottle that she played games with Max with. Stop using Coca Cola as emotional beats.

147.) Hopper and El reunion. What the fuck is Hopper wearing???????

148.) Matching father daughter hairdos.

149.) Joyce and El are so cute.

150.) Mike and Hopper were kind of cute.

151.) The amount I’ve seen the back of Will’s neck is weird.

152.) Sky darkening. Shit drifting from teh sky. Uh oh. Upside down is here.

153.) We get everyone’s reaction shots to it. THIS EPISODE IS TOO FUCKING LONG.

154.) I’m gonna buy the Duffers an intro to storytelling book or something. This is garbage.

155.) THe ash kills plants, I guess.

156.) If the Duffers have it so that this is actually a big loop and the upside down is actually Hawkins in the future, I’m gonna hunt them for sport.

Do I actually need to spell out I hated this season? It’s bad. The writing is bad, the characterization is weird, the plot is convoluted, the pacing is worse, the lighting is fucking atrocious, the CGI is hideous, and I DO NOT CARE ABOUT VECNA. VECNA IS SO BOOOOOOOOOOORING. Like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK OFF WITH THIS EVIL CHILD OBSESSED WITH SPIDERS SHIT. MAYBE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN INTERESTING TO ME WHEN I WAS 8 BUT THERE’S NOTHING EVIL ABOUT SPIDERS. They’re important part of the ecosystem, but they also are a lesson, if you actually pay attention, IN EVERYTHING HAVING ITS PLACE. HENRY CREEL IS A SHIT EDGELORD WHO DOESN’T UNDERSTAND SPIDERS OR FUCKING ANYTHING ELSE.

That was a goddamn waste of time. Definitely not watching season 5.

[eden-005]

Let me out

               Do things always work out in the end? They don’t, they never do, at least for me. I know how that sounds, it sounds like I’m trying to make a martyr out of myself, “oh no, my life sucks, I’m sad”, but I have proof to back up what I’m saying. I was raped, then I forgot I was, and then I remembered. Great stuff, isn’t it? It is such wonder to have the same image burned again and again into your mind. As everyone has been telling me for the past year “things are gonna get better”, except they didn’t, I still feel as shitty and guilty, dirty and lost, I feel like I’ve lost control over my life, not that I had that much to begin with. It’s been almost a year and a half, when the fuck is it gonna get better? I’m not even asking for good, just for something slightly better, it would be nice not to wake up in the middle of the night because my nightmares about that day getting more and more real. Still, there are times where it does get a teeny tiny bit better, bet it usually doesn’t last more than a couple hours, a day if I’m lucky. But some shit always happens to get me back to square one, always, things always get worse in the end.

               At some point, as any other person would’ve, I got tired of it, I decided to take away my own life. I couldn’t even succeed at that, I failed miserably, but still spent two days at the damn hospital. Statistics say that most of the people that attempt suicide regret almost immediately, I did, do not. The only thing I regret is calling the suicide prevention helpline, if only I hadn’t, I’d be dead by now, I’d be free. They did ask me if I regretted my actions before letting me go, I told the doctors the truth, which is probably what made them want to put me in a psychiatric hospital, it didn’t work out, and it’s better that way, I doubt it could’ve helped me, I’m already a prisoner inside my own mind, I really didn’t, and don’t, need to be one in real life too. Now I’m being forced to live a life that isn’t my own one that I clearly don’t enjoy living in, but hey, at least, once in a blue moon, things get slightly better for a day, and then they get abysmally worse. Today is one of those days, but today’s also worse than usual, because things didn’t get slightly better for a couple of hours, or a full day, they got slightly better for a whole ass week, and as they say, the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

               To be fair, it’s not like taking me back to square one is hard, the tiniest inconvenience is more than enough. A week ago, I got invited to a party, “finally, I get to worry about something my age” I dumbly thought. And worry I did, as normal people do, without overthinking things that much, for fuck’s sake, I even went shopping with my mother, the fact that I was able to survive that is undeniable proof that things were better. Sadly, the party got canceled, no big deal, right? Shit happens, right? That’s the rational reaction, but I’m not rational, I’m an overthinker, so I overthought. Maybe I was invited by mistake, and this was a way to make sure I didn’t go, or perhaps it was just a cruel joke, it could also be that the party was just cancel, but I doubt that, there’s not that many things I’m sure about, but if had to bet on the one thing I know for sure is that I’m a hardly likeable character. I feel like such a fool for believing that I could be social, for believing that, if only for a night, that I could have a normal life for someone my age, for imagining that people are actually able to appreciate my company.

               In the beginning I tried coping, I decided to still go out, for a walk or something, instead I hooked up with a total stranger. I got distracted while it lasted, but immediately after I got dragged back to reality, so I went home, where I spent an hour and a half researching easy, fast and painless ways to die, but I don’t have neither poison nor a gun. Then I started writing this, but I don’t really see the point anymore, who do I think I am? I’m just another sad and frustrated teenager, there’s millions more of those. I don’t like myself, well, which seventeen-year-old does? Sure, I have trauma, but who doesn’t? I don’t see why I would have a right to complain, even if that’s exactly what I’m doing.

               I really don’t see the point in trying anymore, I should have the right to choose when to die, I should be able to stop my own suffering, but no, people think being alive even if you’re in a constant state of suffering is better than being dead, but it’s always happy people that think that. What about hell and heaven? My thoughts on that are simple, they don’t exist, and even if they did, I’m going straight to hell anyway, I’m a bad person and I doubt I’d change if I stayed alive. The worse part of all this is that the only reason people around me don’t want me to die isn’t because life is great and all that shit, but because my dead would make them feel guilty or sad, so they want me to suffer for their own selfish reasons. Granted, I also want to die for selfish reasons, but at least I’m honest about them.

[randomboo256]

Crash Bandicoot: N. Sane Trilogy (2017) Review [Part One]

The past days I've been slowly going through the world of Crash Bandicoot as I reviewed Crash Bandicoot, Crash Bandicoot 2, Crash Bandicoot 3, and Crash Team Racing. All of which was based on their original Playstation releases. I highly recommend reading those reviews first for context. However, only focusing on the Playstation versions of these games isn't really being all that helpful due to a pair of releases that came out comparatively recently. But first, let's take a step back and see how we even got here.

Crash Bandicoot was a game published by Sony Computer Entertainment, and the titular character later became a mascot of sorts for the console it was on: the Playstation. The original Crash games were developed by a studio called Naughty Dog, however they eventually quit making Crash games. Despite that, the series kept going. On all platforms too.. what? Why are Crash Bandicoot games coming out on Nintendo consoles, Xbox consoles, and even PC? What’s happening? Did Sony do this? Well, no. You see, despite Naughty Dog creating the games and the characters and Sony publishing them, Universal Interactive (yes that Universal) owned the series. Ok, so a long time ago Naughty Dog made a weird fighting game called Way of the Warrior for the 3DO. Despite it's obscurity, this game is shockingly important because after finishing it, Naughty Dog displayed it at the Consumer Electronics Show in search of a publisher. After a bidding war, Universal Interactive won the rights to it. Universal liked it so much that they contracted Naughty Dog to make three more games for them. Those three games ended up being, of course, the Crash Bandicoot trilogy. Before that though, Naughty Dog needed to pick a console to develop the next game on. They thought the Playstation looked “sexy” so they started development for that. After a demonstration from Naughty Dog, Sony agreed to publish and partially fund the game. But Naughty Dog made 4 Crash games right? If they already made an extra one, they could just make more, right? Well in theory, but Naughty Dog thought that Universal was too difficult to communicate with. They had a great relationship with Sony Computer Entertainment though. They were so close in fact that only two years after CTR, Sony outright purchased Naughty Dog, firmly establishing their place as part of the Playstation family. 

After Naughty Dog quit, Sony published one more Crash Bandicoot game: Crash Bash. I haven’t really played Crash Bash personally, but from what I’ve heard it’s just a sub-par party game. After that, Universal decided to stop letting Sony publish Crash in favor of publishing the series on all platforms, with the first one being Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex. People didn’t like that game, and I didn’t either. I’m not going to talk too much about this game mostly because it's already been mocked to death and also because it’d be kinda redundant. That’s because Wrath of Cortex is literally just a one to one ripoff of Crash Bandicoot 3, even down to the hub world. Except it’s like they saw my review of Crash 3 and said “Hey, what if we took every problem Crash 3 had and made them even worse?”. The platforming is worse because the camera is awful and they messed up the slide somehow. You have to like release the slide button and THEN jump, which is just awkward. Other than that the platforming is playable, but you rarely get to do it. Even more of the game is random bullshit now. Well over half of your playtime will be spent in those vehicle segments. While I didn’t care for the vehicles in Crash 3 because they distracted from the platforming, they were mostly just tolerable filler. In Wrath of Cortex, they all suck soo much ass. They all fucking suck and they're damn near unplayable. I kinda like the ball rolling, but that’s it. They also brought back Crash 2’s awful jetpack. They not only brought back Crash 3’s abysmal underwater stages, but 1. There’s even more of them. and 2. They’re even worse! You get this submarine which is so slow you can’t dodge the obstacles! Anyway, enough ranting. Wrath of Cortex sucks, but that’s no hot take. Everyone knows that, and it’s not just this game. Most Crash games after Naughty Dog left were less than stellar. Even the best one, Twinsanity, was so incredibly rushed that the final result was unpolished and had a lot of cut content. Needless to say, Crash fans weren’t happy, and after a disastrous reboot, they just wanted a simple return to the classics. 

Meanwhile, Universal was eventually merged with Vivendi, who owned a bunch of studios including Blizzard Entertainment. The combined new studio became known as "Vivendi Games". Fast forward to the late 2000s, Activision was foaming at the mouth over the idea of microtransactions and other recurring fees to the gaming consumer, and therefore were dying to get their hands on World of Warcraft, a Blizzard game. Vivendi Games was struggling at that time, so the two companies merged, forming into the public menace we now know as Activision Blizzard. But what about our favorite orange marsupial? Well he had games throughout the 2000s, but after the merger he slowly grew silent. In 2011, Activision Blizzard released a game called Skylanders: Spyro’s Adventure. Poor Spyro, but that’s a story for another day isn’t it? Skylanders was made by Toys for Bob alongside other companies, most notably Vicarious Visions. In 2016, the final Skylanders game was released, and it had the long awaited yet melancholic return of Crash Bandicoot. His portion of the game was developed by Vicarious Visions. Announced alongside his inclusion however was a full from the ground up remake of the entire classic Crash trilogy. Months later we got a trailer and a name: Crash Bandicoot: N. Sane Trilogy.

Most people these days play this games in the N. Sane Trilogy, rather than their original Playstation releases so I feel I have to cover it. I'm not going to go super in depth with each game, because I already have done that with my reviews of the originals. Instead, I'm just going to focus on what makes the N. Sane Trilogy different.

Let’s start with the obvious: the graphics. Obviously they’re higher fidelity and they can certainly look quite nice at times, however they're far from perfect. Firstly, I simply don’t think that this realistic artstyle fits Crash Bandicoot. These characters were designed with a low poly, low resolution PS1 game with a far off camera in mind. Crash has big eyes, big eyebrows, and a big mouth so that he can be expressive in a way that still reads when looking at the game from a crappy CRT television. When you put this character in HD with realistic graphics where you can make out every hair on his little bandicock he just looks awful. He looks far better when he's very stylized, ala Crash 4. Even the rest of the graphics just look wrong to me. Something about how some of these levels look just feels off. It doesn't help that the game is also locked to 30fps on every console. For a modern day release, that's not acceptable. Especially considering that neither N. Sane Trilogy nor Nitro Fueled (which trust me I'll get back to) got PS5/Series X upgrades. Considering that even a modest computer like mine can hit 60fps on the PC port of N. Sane, there's absolutely no reason why next gen consoles couldn't also hit that same benchmark. Overall the N. Sane Trilogy only came out like 6 years ago and it already looks really dated to me. I honestly prefer the more timeless look of the originals. Well graphics aside, let’s go through each game one by one:

[Continued in Part Two]

[kthynes]

husband for hire (2)

18+

previously

There’s some ground rules and a sweet assemblage of affirmations. You’d hate to hear it.

warnings: course language, mentions of arranged marriage. fake husband/wife trope. Mafia!Lloyd x fem!reader (non-descriptive).

word count: ~2.1k

authors note: I’ve been going through a bit of a mental break and decided to write after a long time. It’s not written in my usual flowery flow so hopefully it makes sense and is coherent to some degree.

This has not been beta’d — any mistakes are my own.

Everyone had big little lies. Yours was just that and some. Maybe your dilly dally approach was untelling of time and place. But more so than not, Lloyd was an equal opportunist, playing your game with the same insouciant vigour.

“So what now?” He shifts against the vinyl seating, knees spread far apart, chin tucked in as he gazes through his lashes with a slight grin. It’s trifling how enigmatic his aura was around you. Almost as if to say that he’ll always have an eye on you. But he’s far more observant than that. “Nice baby gun by the way.”

He casually points at your thigh where the outline of your pistol that was strapped under your evening gown.

His face changes, genuine curiosity takes flight. “Do you always carry and conceal… poorly?”

“Only when I have to.” You reach under and yank out the revolver that was snagged in between the garter. Lloyd’s smirk widens as the small, toy weapon lands on the upholstery next to you. “But then again I’m not meant to be in this rodeo.”

“Well in that case I might have to get you something better then.” He hums. “Bigger perhaps?”

A double entendre? Gross.

“How ‘bout we start with a ring first.” You preamble, sniffing at his staunchness. Lloyd’s pinky ring admonished your ring finger in place of a lie. It was the least he could do given the circumstances and no one seemed to have bat an eye. “Something more shiner and made of diamonds, perhaps.”

“That can definitely be arranged.” He laughs, realizing the day has come for him to be somewhat of an honest man. But his signet band was a perfect fit minus the fact that it was a bit lacklustre and worn down.

“Why’d you agree to this?” You flummox while taking an unsteady breath. Everything’s uncomfortable, even his goading glare.

“Because you asked.”

“Just like that?” He simply nods and you let out an aghast little, “Huh?”

“I can see the wheels turning.” He crows. “It’s not that deep, mi luna.” His moon. Opposite of day and befitting to how you unscrew your beautiful face.

“Yeah right.“ You look out the window to be blinded by abysmal darkness. “Also is there a McDonald’s nearby? Because I’m fucking starving.”

Lloyd squints, there's some misjudgment and humour interlaced behind a slight grin.

“There’s a ruddy little diner coming up.” He answers with poise. “Does that work?”

“As long as I’m fed.”

“Hey Sergio, can you make a quick stop at Mama’s.” Lloyd says over the intercom that’s placed by the partition. Wordlessly, the driver reroutes and the ride becomes guided through your silent reverie.

Lloyd’s watchful as you fidget in a swathe of satin and sweat. You’re not used to being someone’s focus, attention, even desire. But he takes it upon himself to be dignified, to show some empathy for someone like you— a conning escapist and his best mistake.

He opens his mouth to say, more so ask something but then the town car comes to a stop.

“We’re here.” You relieve, already one foot out the door. Lloyd’s jaw shifts as you flit over to the abandoned establishment. “You sure this place is open for business?”

“It’s where I do business.” Lloyd patiently explains from a few feet back. He looks to Sergio and nods, their exchange is a little stoic, trained code that you don’t pay much attention to.

“So the food is probably subpar?”

“I wouldn’t say that earshot away.” He stifles a small laugh and guides you in, hand on the square of your back that immediately stiffens to the touch. “Have an open appetite and you might be surprised.” He comments under his breath.

The door chimes ping to a midsummer palladium. There’s mismatching futon and aisles of brown oak booths lined with floral seating. It was giving kitschy Dior.

“Onja.” Lloyd greets a quick working geriatric woman with silvery blonde hair and a moon shaped face. She appears out of nowhere, barely out of breath.

“Lloyd.” She fondly announces, arms wide open, fashioning a freshly stained apron. The exchange is uncalled for. But truly they were right at home and he’s beguiling her like old times.

“Is the kitchen open, ma?”

“For you?” She hums and haws, surprised he has to even ask.

“Not me. But for her.” He cocks his head towards you, slyly holding you to it as the exception.

“Oh!” She first looks at Lloyd a little too cheekily. Like a mother apprehending her son whose aimlessly asking for one too many favors. “Of course. Come! Sit anywhere! I’ll be right there.” Onja proclaims, hop skipping away as you both stand parallel to one another.

“She thinks I’m your bed mate doesn’t she?” You turn to the choosy mobster. His grin grows tenfold.

“Bed mate?” He snorts, inadvertently exuberant. “More like a growing pain in my ass.”

You huff and stumble into a random booth, furthest away from the window and right next to the kitchen. While tucking yourself in, Lloyd scans the area before sliding off his dress coat. Onja brings around a pitcher of water as he’s slowly undressing himself to some duress.

“Water.” She states, wiping her wet hands against the rag.

“Thank you, greatly.” Lloyd lifts his brows, expressing his highest gratitude. Onja shuffles on her feet, smiling briefly before seeding an apologetic grimace.

“So I just checked the kitchen and I have to inform you that we are out of a lot of things—“

“We’ll have whatever’s leftover then.” Lloyd interrupts and then quirks up. “Actually, do you have a pot of your French Onion?”

“Soup?” You croak, making a face.

“Yes!” Onja excitedly answers. “Two soups OK?”

“Just one. I’m good.” He confirms and the kind woman becomes relieved.

“Coming up!” She gusts, scurrying away. You’re soured, disbelieving of his actions.

“Fix your face.” Lloyd commands as he unrolls cutlery for you from across the booth.

“I don’t want soup.” You say in a nasally tone.

“Just try it.” He calmly coaxes you. There’s a quiet stillness, you’re irritated as can be. With quick work, Onja appears again with a small, antique cauldron and some serviettes.

“Here you are.” She places the piping hot bowl in front of you. “Is there anything else I can get you Mr. Hansen?”

Lloyd assured her all was good. For now.

“Have at it.”

“No.” You stubbornly state, arms folded across your chest. He lets out a loud exhale and starts plating your meal for you. The soup is aromatic and cheesy. Fresh and mouth watering. Your stomach growled. He ladles a small portion into a bowl and pushes it forward.

“One bite. Or slurp.” He corrects himself while slipping in a spoon. “You got this.”

“It looks like sewer water.”

“Delicious sewer water.”

“Is this what you get?” You start stirring the soup. Scooping and pouring the liquid into the bowl, distracted by your most intrusive thoughts.

“I don’t eat here.” He jokes, absolutely deadpanned. Meanwhile, Onja quietly settles by and places a small steaming Pinming cup in front of him. He thanks her yet again. “But Sergio seems to love it.”

“It’d make sense if you had a fondness for it.”

“I mean you and I don’t make sense yet here we are.” There’s a swift pause as he looks at you coyly. “Now eat.”

You’re far from humbled but reluctantly so you take your first sip. It’s good. Too good to speak as you shovel more into your mouth. Your hunger becomes insatiable.

“Have it with the challah loaf as well.” Lloyd comments into his mug. You obediently dip the Jewish egg bread into the savoury bath and take another bite. “How’s it?”

“Good.”

“Just that?” He snickers.

“Sooo good.” You exaggerate in between mouthfuls. He’s observing your every move like a silent pariah. And maybe it was time you broke the boughs. “Can we talk? You know, establish some ground rules.” You meander, swallowing down your pride with a tight grimace.

“Go on.” He nods, gesturing a lending hand.

“This isn't real. We’re not a couple. So that means there’ll be no kissing, no touching, no copulating of any sort.” You’re abrupt and he laughs, loud enough to put you in your place.

“Says the girl who was desperate for a fuck.” He respires while peering out the side window that glazes over a dark road strip and the alpines. It’s a lonesome plight where you said a lot of things. Promised nothing.

“That… that was out of character.” Your back straightens, clearing the uprising bile from your throat. Your appetite went away as quickly as it came. To say you were embarrassed was a ruddering understatement.

“You’re telling me?” He scoffs, running a steady hand through his perfectly gelled quiff that is stiff to the touch.

“I think there’s a lot of things we can keep to ourselves.” You insist.

“Of course Mrs. Hansen.” He jokes, the name itself rolls off the tip of his tongue. He likes that there’s a nice ticklish ring to it. “But I hope you know that our people will ultimately want more, expect more of us… from us, really.”

His wild blue eyes dilate, forehead creases patronizingly. You don’t falter.

“So we make an appearance.” Making an appearance was a very loose term. “Fake it till we make it.”

“No. We break rules.” He corrects you.

“I don’t like that.” You huff. He smiles. It’s a good thing he likes you.

“Help me help you.” He proposes and your frown deepens. He cocks his head to the side. “You did ask for my hand in marriage after all.”

“Fuck all I did.” You mutter to yourself while returning to your poor man’s meal.

“Look, I don’t like your old man either. So let me spite him a little.” Lloyd offers, jokingly. His phone rings, that overtures the mood. “Excuse me.”

He slides out of the booth with some unpleasant gruffness. “What is it Cyrus?”

His voice carries down the parlour as you slurp on soup. Nowhere to be. Indigestion on a slow prowl. Something about Lloyd Hansen fiercely kept you on your haunches. His coffered gaze. His strong unclenched jaw. The long legs that pace his stride as he takes to a far corner, earshot away.

“There’s no deal.” He hisses. The conversation comes out choppy that you desperately pick up on. “We need to… Yes I know… She is…. No we’re not… it’s complicated.”

It’s complicated. Those are the final affirming words before your eyes meet and he says a quick ‘I got to go.’

Your soup is cold now. He makes it back to the table, anew again.

“You good?”

“Here’s what I want from you.” He becomes stern, countenance changing in a snap. You match his energy by a hairs breadth. “Are you listening?” He raises his brows. You simply nod.

“I don’t like your tone but I’ll play nice.”

“You can’t be out of my sight.”

“Which means?”

“Which means I’m taking you home.” Your eyes thin out. “To my home.”

“I thought you were a recluse, y’know some kind of unexplored hermit.” You soured with some sass.

“I own ten luxury properties, two suburban complexes and a shantytown.” He emphasizes, irises dimming to a slight torment. “I need you around me, wherever I go.”

“Thanks but no thanks.” You object while kissing your teeth.

“This isn’t me asking.” He fiercely insists in a way that is paralyzing. One wrong move and you’d be bound. So you clear your throat, eyes cast downwards out of contemplation, jaw clenched. A slow steady breath prepares you for a grander comeback.

“How can I trust you?”

“You don’t. Now let’s go. We’ve overextended our stay here.” Lloyd hisses, eyes scouring the premise hastily. Somethings up and mafia men had their tumultuous moods. He perks up, hands readjusting the gun that’s hoisted in the back hem of his trousers. There’s a facetious look on his face, angered by suddenness and your calm presence.

When you walk out before him, he catches up in stride.

“Don’t question the things I do for you.” He mutters close in your ear. The night's dew exasperates the chill in your bones. It’s cold, embittering how you truly felt and every resurgence to be. The town car’s pulled up, running in ignition while Sergio has the back door open. He looks the other way as you turn to Lloyd with a challenge. “I’m not yours.”

“You’ll never be.”

[arguablysomaya]

batfam fanfics that don't have enough fucking attention

alright i'm finally doing it gents listen up

1. Bang, bang by @Ididloveyou_once

Summary: ‘You shot me!’ Jason gasped, stunned, ‘Holy shit, you actually shot me.’

Tim’s eyes widened and he froze. They stared at each other for a second, dumbstruck and then-

‘Don’t tell Bruce.’

Or: The family enjoy a normal movie night. Except Jason has a gunshot wound and Tim’s the only one who knows and oh- that’s because Tim’s the one who shot him and they really, really need to find a way to leave before anyone finds out.

This fic is fucking hilarious and the characterization + banter is on point. i have a bit of a soft spot for schemes <3

2. four brothers, one crush, and absolutely zero braincells to be found by @Ms_Trickster

Summary: Tim: i need to know what’s the best way to a boy’s heart

Damian: Easy. The best way to someone’s heart is through their ribcage. Everyone knows that.

Damian: Come on Timothy, I expected better from you.

Dick: I-

Dick: Try again

Tim is having boy troubles.

Tim goes to his brothers for help.

Tim...did not think that plan of action through.

(In which the batbros give Tim advice on relationships, told entirely through texts.)

Again, fucking hilarious. the chat titles are SUCH a nice touch and it really feels like authentic sibling silliness

3. Night at the (National) Museum by @collectivefandomstuff

Summary: Tim finds himself having, once again, been dragged into the social event of the season. As he slowly dies of boredom and the physical exertion of not rolling his eyes, he bumps into his fellow prisoners brothers and they decide to do something about Bruce’s tendency to trick them into going to these things. More specifically, they decide to cause as much trouble as possible in the hopes that Bruce will just straight up stop inviting them. [cue mission impossible theme]

“We could call in a bomb threat?”

“That’s imaginative.”

“Ok, then we get paintball guns and go to town.”

“Also unhelpful.”

“No, wait! That’s actually a good idea!”

“Really Dick? You don’t think people are going to ask questions if the Waynes start literally hunting socialites for sport?”

I. Love. Schemes. also the writing style is so good omg if i could write like this i'd literally die happy lmao

4. Cingulomania (Sometimes, Dad Needs a Hug) by @charleswaterloo

Summary: ‘Right,’ Tim said, in the voice he used on missions, ‘we’re going to have to call in an expert.’

*

‘Hey guys!’ Dick said, voice slightly crackly over Tim’s phone speakers. ‘What’s up? I’m not supposed to visit until tomorrow - is something wrong?’

-

Something is seriously not right with Bruce. They’re a family of detectives and no one can figure it out. It’s kind of embarrassing.

They’re all starting to get worried.

-

(Sometimes, Bruce needs a hug.)

ok this fic is just really fucking sweet and sometimes a bitch is soft okay?

5. After the Fall of Olympus by @/killthespare

Summary: The League has fallen. The team is dead. All that’s left is for Dick Grayson to pick up the pieces and move forward.

Easier said than done.

this fic is literally a must-read in the dc fandom it's not done yet but holy shit. basically goes through young justice and other arcs if the league had died while dick was robin. perfect if you liked young justice and convoluted plotlines, and this fucking fic kicked my emotional ass SO hard

6. And The World Came Crashing Down by @One_annoying_bird

Summary: When Dick and three of his siblings find themselves within the wreckage of a collapsed building, Dick makes the executive decision for himself to be rescued last.

Even if his injuries really demand for him to be first.

Not that he'll let anyone know that last bit.

Fuck me dude. i'm always a sucker for whump

7. Asimov's Integral by @sElkieNight60

Summary: Tim is an unwanted android, a Robo-Child. After being sent back by his parents, his last and only hope rests in the hands of a man still grieving the loss of his own son.

“I didn’t ask for a replacement,” Bruce barked. “I don’t want a replacement! You can go back and tell the RCO I don’t need a replacement.”

Bruce Wayne didn’t want him. If Bruce Wayne didn’t want him, he’d be sent back and dismantled.

this one hurt me <3 android AU, tw for tim absolutely abysmal mental state and attempted suicide

8. Midnight Book Club by @badwolf36

Summary: “Dick is a lying liar who lies,” Jason declares, drawing his knees up to his chest. His ribs are screaming in that very special way that lets him know at least one or more is bruised (or, more likely, cracked).

“Dick wasn’t the only one who turned you in.” Cass says, now tracing ‘moron’ onto his forehead. “Also, Alfred.”

___________

Cass and Jason discuss books as they wait for Jason to be able to stand up after taking a brutal hit.

this one's a really sweet, quiet piece about jason and cass's relationship (which i absolutely love) and cass's characterization is spot on perfect

9. You fuck with them, you fuck with me by @oclark1226

Summary: When Batman's out of the country for Justice League business, it falls on Dick to find his missing brothers. Once he does, however, he nearly loses control fighting their kidnapper. He has to deal with both the mental and physical consequences of that fight while helping his brothers heal. Includes some soft Bruce tending to both of his eldest boys because they need some hugs and they support him in return.

now this one is simply criminally underrated. hella protective dick, which is my lifeblood, and some of the most well-written hurt/comfort i've read

10. Conflict Resolution by @anicomicqueen

Summary: It started off as a quiet Sunday morning, until Timothy and Damian decided to take their argument outside.

who would i be if i didn't end off with some fluff?? this fic is literally catharsis and i cherish it so much plus its hilarious

[cresvalkyrie]

Hey guys. Been down in the dumps these past few days, so I’m gonna talk about Hauyne, my Interceptor OC, to cheer myself up.

Also totally not because I’ve been seeing people post about their own OCs and me wanting to hop on the bandwagon. Nope.

Some facts about her: - Hauyne is not her actual name. What her real name is, no one knows except the person in question.

- She is originally from the same world as we are, being a player of the fangame itself, who got summoned into Aevium because she had the metaknowledge needed to fulfil the role of the Interceptor. Like, seriously. If someone’s gonna change the fate of the world, they might as well be given knowledge of every possible outcome so they know which is the best option to take. 

- Before coming to Aevium, Hauyne does competitive battling and a shit ton of challenge runs as a hobby. While it does make the transition into actual battling easier, it still took her an embarassingly long amount of time for her to wrap her head around the fact that Pokemon battling is now a tangible, multi-dimensional activity rather than an abstract concept behind a screen.  

- She can understand Pokemon (like N, if you want a reference). Because of this and her general dislike for people, you’re more likely to see her warm up to a Pokemon faster than she does with a person. Most of the rejuv cast are the exception to this rule.

- Unlike her friends who specialise in one or two types (e.g. Venam with Poison and Aelita with Fighting/Flying) or have their team composition revolve around a specific theme (e.g. Erin), Hauyne doesn’t have a preference for any types. Though, she does have a thing for taking in “weak and useless” strays and turning them into juggernauts just to spite their ex-trainers.

- She has a habit of naming her Pokemon after concepts in real-life mythology. The only exception to this is her starter, a female Delphox she named Altissia. 

- As a follow-up to the previous point, her main party consists of Kali the Zeraora (her ace), Altissia the Delphox, Vedrfolnir the Sceptile-Haxorus hybrid, Muninn the shiny Corviknight, Shiva the Alolan Ninetales and Triton the Swampert. She has other Pokemon on rotation in the PC, but these are the ones she used the most. 

- Has an incorrigible sweet tooth and secretly keeps a hidden candy stash on her. Don’t even think about touching it; she will wreak absolute hell upon anyone who dared to steal from her stash. Venam learnt this the hard way. 

- Is quite knowledgeable about medicinal properties of plants. She even makes her own potions, salves and antidotes using ingredients she collected on her travels. 

- Abysmal with musical instruments. No one knows how it happens, but she’ll somehow ruin every instrument that makes its way into her hands. For some reason, she’s alright with handling her own flute (possibly a Celestica Flute, though no one can say for sure) though her skills with it leaves a lot to be desired. 

- On the flip side, she can sing extremely well. Just that her stage fright makes it seem like she couldn’t sing at all. 

- Does she like the sea? No. She loved it. She grew up in a fishing village who... aren’t the greatest fans of her and/or her family, so she often spends her time either in her room or in a nearby hidden cove to avoid the discrimination. The sounds of the waves never fails to calm her down whenever she had a crappy day.  

- It may not look like it because of her demure and complaisant disposition, but she’s a mad genius when it comes to Pokemon battling. A “fucking monster” in battle? Psh, Venam. You’re making the understatement of the year. Have you seen that feral, downright manic smile when she’s about to go for the kill? She fights like a demon straight from the ninth circle of hell, more like. *shudders*

- When she decides that she likes a particular person, she’ll draw a portrait of said person in her sketchbook. The number of drawings she made for a person is directly related to how much she likes them. And she’s a pretty good artist, all things considered... for some reason a lot of it are of a certain white-haired Archetype bearer in various casual poses  

...Well, that’s all I can think of. I’ll add more later.   

[whoacanada]

Zimmerbro AU

Summary: Andrew Phillip Rowe could skate before he could walk, and it wasn’t until he was almost twenty and well on his way to becoming a Las Vegas Ace before he knew why.

a/n: that’s right we’ve got a secret zimmermann brother au based on the fact that Bob was an active pro athlete for almost 15 years before Jack was born and almost definitely had relationships before Alicia. This particular one resulted in a secret love child.

When the call finally went out that year —  a request for players willing to billet the incoming draftees —  Andrew had been the first in line.

His already sparsely decorated guest room had been primed for a new tenant since he’d learned Las Vegas’ abysmal season had earned them the first pick of the 2009 draft. In his mind, Andrew had envisioned a tearful confession. A family reunion nineteen years in the making where he’d finally get a chance to connect with a half-brother he’d grown up learning about through news articles and stats pages.

He wasn’t ready for Jack to pull out of the draft days before the ceremony; wasn’t ready for the claims of an overdose or speculation about suicide attempts. He certainly wasn’t expecting to have to open his home to a young man with limp blonde hair and deep circles under his eyes with the same enthusiasm he’d promised he’d offer to a son of Bob Zimmermann.

Andrew was hoping for a little brother. 

He got Kent Parson instead.

______

“You remind me of my boyfriend.” Kent slurs one night, completely gone on Johnny Walker Blue borrowed from Andrew’s wet bar. “It’s your . . . face.”

“Shouldn’t talk about things like that,” Andrew cautions gently, covering his own surprise. “Never know who might be listening.”

“Who fucking cares? He won’t talk to me,” Kent continues, ignoring him and sniffing like he’s on the verge of sobbing or puking, both options equally unwanted. “They wouldn’t tell me if he was even alive.”

Another unwanted puzzle piece locks into place.

“Jack?” Andrew suggests softly, and Kent begins to cry.

“You won’t tell right?”

Andrew shakes his head no, long enough for Kent’s bleary eyes to focus on the gesture and take it seriously.

Things are different, after that conversation. Not worse, or better, just different.

________

“He’s my brother.”

Andrew admits this one night, for no reason other than that he can.

Kent is across the room, backlit by lights from the Strip, his legs dangling off the arm of his favorite couch as he scrolls through his phone looking for distractions. Parse hasn’t lived with Andrew for almost two seasons, but he still turns up like a bad penny whenever he needs to commiserate with someone who knows his more lascivious secrets. Truthfully, Andrew’s grateful for the company. He’s a pretty genial guy, but he’s always kept his distance, a personality trait he likes to think he shares with an unassuming sibling, but there’s no way to know for sure. The farther Andrew gets from the 2009 Draft, the less faith he has in a reunion that won’t just bring crippling sorrow to everyone involved.

A secret Zimmermann son who actually made it in the NHL. Who has his name on the Stanley Cup, not once, but twice, largely thanks to the spitfire forward lounging in Andrew’s living room.

“Who’s your brother?” Kent asks, not looking up from his phone.

“Jack Zimmermann.”

Kent barks a laugh and rolls his head lazily to smirk at Andrew.

“That’s funny. I guess you kinda have the same chin. Was Marky digging for chirps?”

Andrew has no idea what that means, but he sets down his tablet and says, “No, he’s actually my half-brother. My mom dated Bad Bob in ’84 and got pregnant.”

The lackadaisical smile on Kent’s face falters as his gaze sharpens, like he’s actually looking at Andrew for the first time. Andrew responds by gesturing at himself lamely.

“That’s not funny.”

“No.” Andrew agrees. “It isn’t.”

Kent swings his feet down off the couch and braces himself against the overstuffed leather. He doesn’t look mad, but there’s something too close to disbelief for Andrew to convince himself everything’s okay. It takes a moment, but Kent must find what he’s looking for on Andrew’s face.

“Does Bob know?” Kent asks with that familiar overfamiliarity, as if they both still have some personal relationship with the living legend.

“Yeah. When Mom got pregnant she told him she didn’t want the attention since it was only a fling — ”

“Who the fuck doesn’t lock down Bob Zimmermann?” Kent breathes. “Also, why the fuck did she tell you that?”

“No shit, right? She got him to sign away parental rights, set up a trust, never spoke to him again as far as I know. I didn’t find out until after I signed with the Aces. She didn’t want me to get blindsided if it all came out, but the story never broke.”

“I mean, does Bob know who you are?” Kent questions. “Does Jack?”

Andrew shakes his head no, because he doesn’t think so, and Kent flops back against the cushions, face slack with disbelief; it doesn’t take long for his features to shift to anger.

“You knew this whole time and you didn’t tell me? Even after I told you —“

“Okay, there’s a whole-ass difference between you fucking dudes and and me being ‘Bad Bob’s bastard’,” Andrew bites, curtailing Kent’s imminent hissy fit. Appropriately, Kent closes his mouth, almost pouting.

“Fine. But that’s fucked.” Kent says after a loaded moment of silence. “I’m sorry you’re . . . you.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry you’re you, too.”

“You know Jack’s signing with the Falconers, right?” Kent offers like the worst kind of olive branch, unintentionally telling Andrew exactly what he was up to during that stretch of time between New England games a few months prior. “It’s not public but it’s happening. Ink’s dry.”

“I know. That’s why I told you. It’s gonna be weird,” Andrew swallows, thinking about playing Providence in the coming months.

“Fucking right it’s weird.”

_________

For the most part, the Las Vegas Aces are decent, stand up guys. Even with the accusations of gambling debts and mob connections with the ownership group, Andrew’s never been asked to hit a certain player a little too hard, or to take a dive so the other team gets a shot at a power play. A lot of talk, a lot of conspiracies, ‘Typical Aces hockey’, but there’s no malice. Not really.

Andrew thinks it’s hilarious he plays the game a lot like his estranged father, but he’s not a legend in the making, hell, at this point he’s barely regarded as more than a mid-level, reliable center that can bring home 40 points a season.

Carly whips behind Zimmermann’s back to clip his skate with a stick, dropping a ill advised chirp that sets every player in earshot on edge. Parse is close enough to catch the quiet slur, stiffening like he’s been hit, and Andrew watches Zimmermann recover quickly, steely and resolute. 

Jack has his mother’s eyes — not the warm brown Andrew catches every time he looks in the mirror.

“He’s a fucking goon,” Andrew breathes, gliding up to Jack’s shoulder in lieu of an apology. Zimmermann doesn’t miss a beat, his gaze flicking to Andrew with the quiet rage of ‘who gives a fuck’. Andrew admires his commitment to the game. Coming back after so much, after so long, to willingly subject himself to the same kind of treatment that Andrew knows likely led to his original fall from grace.

“Hey,” Kent ducks his head as he slides up a little while later, mouthguard clenched between his teeth, and asks, “You see his twink?”

At Andrew’s obvious confusion, Kent jerks his head toward the glass behind the Falconers’ bench, to a raucous group of fans all sporting fresh Zimmermann jerseys. Andrew’s gaze drifts along the row of faces, lingering longer on the familiar, handsome couple beside the blonde young man. He may be imagining things — the stadium lights catching a bad angle —  but for the briefest moment, Andrew holds eye contact with his father.

“He’s cute, right?” Kent says bitterly, like he doesn’t have a partner of his own back home.

“Yeah, he is. You gonna do anything about the slurs, Captain?” Andrew counters, earning a stern look from Parson.

“I’ll deal with Carly.”

“Oh, you will? Because I’ve never seen you shut him down before.”

“I’ll handle it.”

Kent’s expression goes stormy, and he gives Andrew a hard shove before skating off to set up for the next shift. To his credit, he does grab Carly by the arm and tell him something that earns a look of displeasure from the larger man, but Andrew knows a verbal warning won’t curtail someone as dead-set in his conservatism as Carly.

The next play, Carly flashes Andrew a toothy smile over the lineman’s shoulder, as if they’re in on the same joke, and his vision goes red.

__________

__________

“Bad Bob’s outside,” Scraps rasps, like whatever brief interaction he’s just had has physically winded him. “He wants to talk to Flip.”

Andrew blinks up from the water bottle in his hands, previously concerned with the pink-stained gauze wrapped around his knuckles. A few of the guys start chirping, but most of them remain silent, still processing the fact that Andrew assaulted one of their own without clear motivation, in defense of an opponent.

“That’s what this was all about? You gunning for a trade?” Sorenson spits from his stall. “Needed to impress Bad Bob by beating the snot out of Carly?”

“Maybe I am,” Andrew sighs, pushing himself to his feet, wincing at the way his jaw aches from the few good hits Carly had managed to squeeze in before he went down. “What the fuck are you gonna do about it.”

_______

Andrew’s grateful he kept his skates on. He needs the boost of confidence that comes with the added height, especially when he finds Bob Zimmermann waiting patiently in the corridor like he’s just another staff member and not the second most recognizable figure in modern hockey.

“Hey kid,” Bob greets, casting an approving, overly-familiar eye over Andrew’s padded bulk and sweat-slick hair. “You can throw a hell of a punch. Don’t think I’ve ever seen a guy beat the piss out of a teammate before. Off ice, sure, but never during a game.”

His accent is just as thick in private as every interview Andrew’s ever caught live — but his tone is unexpectedly warm, even grateful — when Bob laughs at his own recounting of Andrew’s assault attempt, the sound is light and joyous like nothing in the world comes easier to this titan of a man.

Andrew wonders if Bob can recognize the chin they share beneath a his playoff beard; if there’s any resemblance left in a nose that’s been reset a half-dozen times.

Andrew grew up loved and never wanted for anything. His step-fathers, both of them, had been good men who never left him looking for a father figure. It wasn’t until his twenties that Andrew even realized there was hole where his bio-dad should have been, and not just a regular hole, a yawning sinkhole threatening to devour his entire sense of self, because his biological father turned out to be a man he grew up idolizing as a personal hero.

He’s not mad at his mother, but when Andrew struggles to find his voice — which is bullshit seeing as he’s almost thirty-five and a god-damned professional athlete — he can’t stop himself from feeling like a misplaced child.

“Do you,” Andrew swallows, looking over Bob’s shoulder to see if anyone’s watching them. Finding they’re alone, he rallies quietly, “Do you know who I am?”

Bob’s jovial expression softens into something remorseful, but unfathomably kind. “I do, buddy,” he acknowledges, somehow squeezing three decades of affection into one term of endearment. “I’ve known for some time, now. The whole time, actually.”

That hurts more than expected.

“Does your wife? Does Jack?”

Bob shakes his head, but it isn’t a hard no.

“Alicia knows, and Jack has some idea he’s got a half-brother, but it’s all in the abstract. No specifics. Definitely doesn’t know you play. I wanted to respect your privacy and your mother’s wishes. She let me know she’d told you the truth a few years back and I wanted to give you the space you needed if you decided to reach out. When you didn’t, well, a man makes assumptions.”

Andrew looks down at the concrete beneath his skates and sniffs hard, fighting nasal drip from the smelling salts he’d needed in the third period; or, at least, that’s what he tells himself. “I had a plan, back when — ” he stops himself, looking down at his skates. Bob’s eyebrows lift in curiosity, leaving room for Andrew to gather his thoughts, but he doesn’t take the bait, unable to bring up what could have been just yet. Bob seems to grasp the context after the moment.

“2009,” he acknowledges softly. “Hell of a year.”

“Yeah. It was. Is he okay?”

“What, Jack? He’s leagues ahead of where he was then —”

“No, I mean, tonight. Carly clipped him pretty hard before I got in there.”

“Oh, a little bruised up, but he’ll live. Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Okay.”

Andrew looks down at his bandaged fist and realizes he’s completely forgotten how gnarly his face must look.

“Trainer says I’m alright, but I’m gonna get leveled with a wicked fine, I know it.”

“Was it worth it?” There’s a look of guilty pride on Bob’s face, like the man’s enjoying himself a little too much when he leans in and whispers, “You just did something I’ve wanted to do since Jack was in mites. Fucking lay out one of those fuckers that’s got nothing better to do than bitch because they can’t play,” there’s a moment of hesitation, as if he’s worried about pushing a boundary, before he adds, “How’d it feel to look out for your little brother?”

Pride, it turns out, in contagious, and Andrew feels like he could go back on the ice and do it all over again. “Pretty fucking great,” Andrew can’t help a smile, wincing when the gesture pulls at his split lip.

Bob slaps a hand on Andrew’s shoulder pads, then gets a grip on the back of his head, heedless of his sweaty hair.

“Crisse, you’re a fuckin’ beaut, kid. I’ve wanted to tell you that for years.”

Andrew can’t blame the smelling salts anymore.

__________

Jack clearly doesn’t see his father standing there with red-rimmed eyes, or Andrew in an equally unkempt state, and has no reason to think anything untoward has happened when he offers a handshake and pulls Andrew into a hug, bouncing his free fist off the back of Andrew’s pads. “I owe you a drink,” Jack says decisively when he pulls back, shooting a grin between his father and Andrew. “Can’t believe you did that.”

“More than a drink, I think,” the blonde guy Andrew saw behind the bench pipes up. Jack’s ‘twink’. Boyfriend. Whatever. “Dinner at least.”

“A pie,” Bob suggests tightly, keeping his voice even as he turns to quickly scrub his fist over his eyes. Andrew recognizes the statuesque woman who strides up beside Bob, and one quick look tells him she definitely knows who he is.

“Hello, Andrew,” Alicia greets softly, genuinely. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“You, too.” he says, the tightness in his throat coming out as gruffness rather than emotion. “This is great, but I should go shower and, uh, it was nice meeting you all.”

Bob’s hand whips out and fists the sleeve of Andrew’s sweater, keeping him in place.

“You have plans tonight?”

Andrew debates lying, because he doesn’t know how to move forward from this point, but they’re all looking at him. Waiting. Expectant. There’s too much at stake, and yet somehow — A sharp whistle drags Andrew’s attention back to the locker room. Kent is peeking his head out, and god knows how long he’s been eavesdropping.

“Yo, Zimmermanns. Bittle.”

“Parson.” The blonde says curtly, earning a wry smirk from Kent.

“Flip, we got a presser if you feel like putting a bow on the evening,” Kent’s gaze drifts to Bob’s flushed face, and he adds, “Or, you can shower and slip out the loading bay while I cover for your aggro ass because this is not going to be fun. Your call.”

Andrew looks at the small family surrounding him, his family, and says, “I don’t want to explain.” Kent shrugs and ducks back inside while Bob’s brow furrows in confusion. “I can do dinner, but I don’t want to,” Andrew holds his hands out in front of him, trying to gesture what he means, and Bob snaps his fingers in understanding.

“Ah, ha, I got you, kid.”

“Neat. I’m gonna go shower.”

“We will be here when you’re ready,” Alicia offers. “Take your time.”

“Oh, I will,” Andrew replies before he can stop himself, cringing the second his back is turned because what the fuck could he be any more awkward?

Time will tell.

_____________

.

[alecmagnuslwb]

Marriage is a Contract and My Signature is Unreadable

Read on AO3

John’s never seen a bride wear fishnets with their stunning white dress, but Dinah Lance is pulling it off somehow. Admittedly though John hasn’t seen that many brides that weren’t ghosts or the earthly demonic embodiment of some sort of hell beastie so maybe his experience in weddings and bridal wear is a bit skewed.

Of course he’s also a bit skewed because in his eyes no one at this wedding, not even the bride no disrespect to the woman who’s by far one of the few supers he can truly say he likes, is as stunning as his date. Zatanna sits beside him at their table, the reception in full swing now, her legs crossed the deep navy-blue asymmetrical dress she’s wearing showing off a tantalizing bit of her leg. Her tattoo, the twin to his peeks out from the front of the dress right next to the silver lining at the edges where the dress straps around her neck. She’s a fucking vision his Zatanna.

“I can’t believe they finally did it,” Zatanna says gliding her silver French tipped nails with little crescent moons on them along her glass of champagne. “I really thought Lois and Clark would be the only ones to take the plunge.”

Supers aren’t known for tying the knot, their world is so complicated and their relationships so wild they never find the time to actually get around to it. The fact that Dinah and Oliver managed to not only successfully get engaged, but plan a real wedding and have the ceremony without any major incidents happening in the middle is a miracle if John’s ever actually seen one.

“Who do you think’ll be next?” John says surveying the room. Every hero he’s ever met and ever butted heads with is here out of costume and all dressed up to the nines. There’s a congregation of Green Lantern’s by the bar, Superman is on the dance floor poorly attempting to floss as Nightwing laughs his fine ass off at him, the Flash is somehow dancing with his girlfriend and eating every item on the buffet simultaneously.  “Seems like two in a row will make a domino effect, yeah?”

Zatanna hums in thought her piercing blue eyes with the glittery navy blue and silver eyeliner around them shimmering in the light as she tilts her head in thought. She carefully scratches at the space beside the cluster of tiny rhinestones artfully placed around her right eyebrow and settles her eyes to a table across the room with a smile.

“Wally and Linda for sure,” she says tilting her head their direction. John swivels to look at them. Unlike Barry who’s still zooming back and forth from Iris to the buffet, Wally is wholly engrossed in every movement Linda makes as she talks rapidly her hands moving all about as she speaks to Mia Dearden on the other side of the table. That is a man wholly in love, enraptured by the woman he gets to call his own. John understands the sentiment as he looks back to Zatanna her dark blue painted lips still resting in a beautiful smile.

“What if it was us?” John asks leaning in closer to her a wicked smile on his face.

Zatanna snorts, a harsh indelicate thing that on anyone else would be unattractive.

“Aww, love you too, Zee,” John says faux offended falling back against his chair. He knew it was an absurd suggestion the moment he said it.

“I’m sorry, you know I love you,” she says holding up a hand attempting to hide her laughter. “It’s just look at us, we’re coming up on our first and only three-year anniversary. We’re not exactly known for being good at this.”

It’s a valid point. Despite the fact they have technically been together for over a decade they’ve gone through their fair share of ups and downs, break ups and make ups and even a few trips to hell and literal deaths. John has screwed up more times than he can count and even Zatanna has bungled it once or twice. Complicated has at almost all times been their relationship status, but the past three years, ever since John got his head out of his ass and finally decided to sort out this one particular aspect of his life they’ve been good, solid.

“Okay, true, but you’re stuck with me and we can’t act like there aren’t benefits to the whole marriage sham,” he says stretching his arms behind his head.

“It’s extremely comforting you called it a sham,” Zatanna says giving him a fondly exasperated look. “But you know maybe you’re right the tax incentives alone are a real benefit.”

“Now, the tax incentives would be appealing if I had ever in my life filed my taxes,” John says with a laugh.

“You’ve never filed taxes?” Zatanna says with a slightly startled look.

John just shrugs tossing back the remainder of his champagne. “It’s not like I’ve ever had any real upstanding type of job that would require me to fill out a W4 or whatever.”

“It’s a W2,” Zatanna corrects. “And John you live with me, our landlord made me put your name on the lease because he saw you there so much. You could totally get caught.”

“Eh, it’ll be fine,” John says with an unconcerned wave of his hand. “The fact that I’m not technically a citizen of this country is probably a bigger issue than the tax thing anyway.”

“John!” Zatanna exclaims with a laugh.

“What? You can’t have thought I actually went to a baseball park and held my hands up and did the national anthem or whatever,” he says kicking his feet up on the empty chair next to him.

“Clearly you haven’t considering that’s not at all how citizenship works,” Zatanna chuckles. “But hey there’s a potential benefit of marriage for us, citizenship.”

“Ah the romance of marrying not for love, but so the government pricks don’t send your ass packing,” John reaches out a hand tangling his fingers with Zatanna’s on the table his thumb running small circles into her hand.

Zatanna hums. “I guess lack of romance aside it wouldn’t matter since I can always just portal you back into the country on a whim anyways.”

John nods in agreement trying to come up with another benefit they might be able to actually take advantage of. “You couldn’t testify against me in court, that could be incredibly useful down the line.”

Zatanna raises one jeweled eyebrow, “Is there a crime you’ve committed lately you’ve neglected to tell me about?”

John thinks for a moment genuinely scanning his memories in case there is something he forgot to tell her about. “No,” he settles on confidently. He’s pretty sure at least. “I’m just thinking in general considering my track record in the past.”

Zatanna pats the top of his hand with a smile. “As if any prison could hold you long enough for me to even be asked a single question.”

John just laughs again, “Alright so maybe there aren’t that many marital benefits for us to take advantage of then.”

“No parents to satisfy,” Zatanna sighs. “And of course making medical decisions for one another doesn’t really matter when you use magic and superhero doctors that definitely don’t accept any sort of co-pay,” she adds on with a contemplative bite of her lip.

“Half your friends hate me,” John says thoughtfully with a chuckle.

“And half your friends are dead,” Zatanna says ruefully tapping a nail to her chin. “The wedding party would be abysmally uneven.”

“I haven’t bought a new tie in years,” John says tugging at the red thing around his neck. He looks hilariously basic compared to Zatanna’s ensemble essentially wearing what he wears any given day of the week the only difference being Zatanna had forced him into a subtly lace patterned black jacket for a change and repainted his chipped nails for the first time in two weeks. “It’d make the pictures look horribly out of place.”

“Plus let’s be real I’m a show woman, I’d probably hate having to share the spotlight with you for one day,” Zatanna smiles teasingly. John smiles back shifting so that he’s scooting his chair closer to hers. He lifts a hand to her face twisting a long dark hair that’s slipped from her twisty updo held in place by two sharp silver hair pins with crescent moons at the end to match her nails and tucking it back behind her ear.

“So, basically there’s not a benefit in this world or a thing that would change if we got married,” John says letting the silky hair go.

“The only thing I can think of is that I like shiny jewelry and you look hot when you wear silver rings,” Zatanna says reaching back and pulling the two pins from her hair letting it all fall across her shoulders, the one stand out streak of navy blue appearing as it falls.

“And we can buy each other jewelry anytime without a reason,” he says brushing the bit of hair that’s fallen into her eyes away.

Zatanna smiles at him once before standing holding out a hand that he instantly takes. She guides him to the dance floor twining her fingers behind his head slowly.

They sway slowly to some sappy love song John vaguely recognizes their eyes locked on one another.

“You know,” she says after a while her fingers pulling through the hair that’s getting a bit too long at the base of his neck. “Just because I don’t want to get married doesn’t mean I don’t want you for as long as I can have you, right?”

He does know that. It’s inexplicable to him why someone as bright and vibrant and good as her wants him, but she does and he intends to keep it that way till the demons or the cigarettes kill him.

“I know. I’m happy how we are, knowing us, and by us I mean me, marriage would end up mucking everything up anyways,” he says pulling her in closer his hands moving from their grip on her waist to the exposed small of her back. “We can just keep going to everyone else’s weddings and raiding their open bars.”

Zatanna laughs then leans up kissing him once soft and slow not even smudging her lipstick in the slightest. She stays close when she pulls back resting her head on his chest as they continue to sway.

“We really need to get your name off of my lease though, I don’t need the government showing up and trying to audit me,” she says softly. “I’d be a nightmare for Mistress of Magic brand.”

John laughs loud and bright leaning his head down to kiss her once atop the head already planning a minor break in to the landlord’s apartment. It’ll be okay if he gets caught, married or not he knows she won’t testify against him.

[festivereason]

The Dehumanisation of Dave Miller

So, I was RPing as Henry Miller and had an internal dialogue comment of Henry musing about how William Afton was not a person. My RP partner, @plushmenace , had put in the tags of their reply basically asking "what is Henry's definition of a person"?

So! I'm finally here to explain my reasoning behind writing him that way. :') And as a bonus, this’ll also explain why I write Dave with abysmal self esteem and body image too wahoo. :’)))

Talk of abuse and trauma + DSAF spoilers under the cut.

First off, Henry literally says so before the ending fight.

Now, you have been kind of lead to accept and probably think "Well in this series, William Afton *is* a literal Purple Guy so of course he's not a human."

But... Henry isn’t either? For the sake of this essay, I'll refer to the "brightly hued people with black scleras and white glowing irises and pitch black maws" as "Amazing Technicolour Void Produce People™" or ATVPPs.

Henry acts like William is this huge freak while basically being the same as him, just pink instead of purple.

But here's the thing: like with most of what Henry says and does, what if this is on purpose?

First off, William may be self conscious about his appearance:

For starters, William blames the fact that he's an ourple ATVPP for why he was never adopted.

Which is possible for sure. However, from what we see in the series? Nobody seems to really care or mind William's appearance.

Except for Henry (who hates William and is an abusive POS towards him), and depending on player choice, Jack (who is just Henry 2: the Sequel also depending on player choice).

Further backing up that this is a sore spot for him, he gets pretty upset when Jack reminds him of it (despite commenting and joking about it often himself).

Example 1:

Example 2:

Secondly, from how he acts, Henry probably used this as part of his abuse towards William:

I find the first reaction pretty telling tbh. Usually when picking an antagonistic dialogue option, Dave’s response will be anger and telling you to fuck off (closer to the second example). Yet in the first one? He tears up and just meekly points out with a stutter that he’s hurt.

( Also important to note too: from the second conversation, we can see that in this universe, “human” refers to “fully sentient, emotionally and intelligently complex beings with free will” (or however you want to word or spin it). Which would def include ATVPPs. Certainly makes what Henry says above even worse lol.)

Next up, something I’ve referenced before because bo y I think it’s one of the most well written parts of the series tbh -- meeting Davetrap in the third game.

Considering it’s been established that Davetrap is the “feral” half of Dave’s soul; the part that is bitter, angry, and can’t let go of things, I think his dialogue can be very insightful into his character.

Anyway, you can have this exchange:

He is clearly hurt by that term, pleading with Jack not to say it and taking on a cowering stance– turned away with his hands up defensively— and then reinstating that he’s “still a person”.

And guess who else refers to him as a monster?

This lines up with how passive we see him around Henry (the fight at the end of DSAF 3, the flashbacks in DSAF 2), so I think it’s easy to put two and two together and say Henry belittled him for his appearance, and that bringing it up makes him regress to how he was around him.

And again, in DSAF? This is apparently not anything that weird. I could be also be looking too much into it (but hey, death of the author bby), yeah, but the fact that nobody knows that Dave = William Afton kind of means being a purple ATVPP isn’t *that* unique in this world.

One thing I find interesting on that point is this exchange. Dave claims "kids loved drawing him because they were fascinated with him". Jack challenges that...

And then Dave basically shifts the conversation to, "Well they like me because I'm not scary and weird like you lol!" Even though he's joking, he does switch from making it about "what's inside".

I definitely think he may be making light of things to cope considering that he makes this quip in DSAF 2 which is definitely meant to be a joke and... yeeeaaah...

Anyway, some more examples of how Henry talks about William in a dehumanising way:

Furthermore, Henry has every reason to do this. From what we can see in the short story and some of William's dialogue, he seems to often belittle William to create co-dependency.

Ex: "Everyone is trying to hurt you, and you're weak, so you need to stay with me and do what I say so I can 'protect' you."

However, since the dialogue in the Void is him speaking his mind honestly, and combined with the tapes,... I'd argue it's completely possible he really may have literally not seen William as person. My guess is because of William being, you know, a weird form of undead. Maybe he started out demeaning him to easily control William, and began to sincerely believe it over time. Henry could also just suck like that.

And finally, William... kind of admits it himself in the bad ending, just like how Henry does in the good.

As I've pointed out before, he says Jack was the only person– he excludes Henry despite, in this route, still adoring the man.

... At least that's what I think! Wahoo!

[twinvictim]

your opinions on each of the post team silent games and a rating out of 10. hand 'em over

YEAHHHHHH FINALLY CATERING TO ME!!!

Uh really long post oops. for reference, my rating for the first 4 sh's are as follows

Sh1: 9/10 Sh2: 7/10 Sh3: 9/10 Sh4: 9.5/10

Silent Hill 0/Origins

overall score: 7/10

Alot of the games issues can of course be attributed to it being a psp game, and while i won't excuse everything bc of that, j have to be honest and say I think it had so much potential as a (very) late ps2 game. Not to mention, the game ON THE PSP functions as it should. (The ps2 port does fucking not tho..oops) ans you'll see that this is...a rarity post team silent.

The story has alot of potential, Travis as a character is interesting and sympathetic and j think his dynamic with alessa js super fascinating to dig into, both of them being abused children and there was alot of intrigue regarding his powers, the game feels like a smaller more watered down she, and for that I can't fault it too much. The weapons system isn't my favorite but the combat itself is reminiscent of 1 and 2 and I really like a good chunk of the monster design, there was clearly thought and care put into it, nurses and strughtjackets/lying figures be dammed. The unlockables are pretty cool though and alot of the environments look pretty cool for a psp game, hell i LOVE the theater level its super unique, I would love to see it in (actually functional) better graphics. I also think the puzzles are pretty solid, not hair pulling like sh1 even if they're not quite as clever as say sh3.

My biggest criticisms come from the reuse of sh1 characters (just alessa and Travis would've been fine, maybe dahlia and some more org characters would've been better) the bad ending being straight up bad writing. Not to mention they did the sh3 thing of "kill too many monsters and get the bad ending" which is...stupid. The foreshadowing of the butcher being? He's just kinda there, I like the lead up but it would be more interesting if the butcher represented something from those years between Travis' father dying and him being an adult. And while there's more replayability imo than sh2, it doesn't have difficulty sliders and that makes it kinda hard to come back to quite as often. Not to mention unlike sh1, 3or sh4 there's not as much horror focus and random events.

Overall, solid game its fun to play, very silent Hill and if you're willing to look past a few continuity errors and accept its a little different and slightly derrivitive at the same time, I like to say I had alot of fun with it and still do. (Maybe I just like Travis alot...idk)

Silent Hill: Homecoming

Overall score: 6/10

Once again most of the issues here are gonna be corporate fuck ups, but I'm also not gonna beat around the bush, this game isn't like...good. its bad actually. "But you gave it a 6/10?" Yeah bc its not NEARLY as bad as some other games I've.. experienced.

The negatives here are, many and vast, so let's run them down. Firstly the games performance is janky on console (ps3 at least) and abysmal/unplayable on PC, what with framerate issues that are detrimental to game play on pc and make the third boss impossible. That said on console it is completable and not even too terrible...usually. Scarletts boss fight however is terribly unbalanced and broken on all skews so :/. The combat is...functional but not anyone's favorite, it's difficult to use any actually strong weapon and you can pretty much strong arm ur ways through shit with just the knife (except scarletts first form..don't try it, it won't work) for some people this will be borening (not my opinion but w/e). Most of The puzzles...leave alot to be desired. I hate sliding block puzzles. Also no run button? At all?? No easy mode? Ok... also what is this.. wheel design for the inventory...im accidentally using my serum..what is serum also? And why is the item pickup noise like...bass boosted.

The character models look awful most of the time, and comically unfinished other times, some human models are just grotesque, (judge halloway, Adam shepherd, mayor Bartlett. .you get it) and yes...there are sexy nurses. Bc of course there are. (Whole ass out???) They did straight up have some terrible endings for this game (ph ending for one, the way you get the ufo? Hell the ufo ending is kinda boring. I like the in water ending here too but. Yeah.) the story has some, problems. To say the least.

However, while the performance is bad its not the worst I've played (on the ps3 once again..unplayable on pc) and I hardly noticed the framerate when I was just running around, I personally found the combat kinda fun, between trying to dodge accurately and still attack and not use all my health items (bc those and ammo are actually rare! Unlike some games...) it is kind of a challenge and reminds me of a much worse sh4. And hey, the health items both heal an understandable amount of health that i can easily read with a bar (unlike 1-3) and they're not a complete joke (unlike sh4...) i find the exploration really fun and sure the characters look shit but the environments are Fucking great. The church is one of my fav sections, short as jt might be and yes it stole the confessional scene but its pretty well written and acted I think. The monster design is pretty fucking rad too honestly, I like the schism, siam, I like the DESIGN of the needlers even if they make me so mad to fight, and hey the nurses and ph don't show up that much to be too aggregious. The boss monsters are also fantastic design wise, very unsettling and the boss rooms are interesting as well.

The story has problems but it also has alot of potential, the concept of people sacrificing ther children for silent Hill and being overcome by their own pain and guilt is pretty fucking cool, and alex is a good character they did a good job of giving him personality, ppl bitch about him being a soldier but a) he's not and b) soldiers are people too, and a sh game that could tackle toxic masculinity, be critical of the military, and also tackle abusive religeious parents is pretty intriguing, not to mentions themes of brotherly love that's complicated bc of how they clearly favored Josh . Sure, it misses the mark, but I like taking the potential and thinking about it bc its compelling to me. And like I said, i like alex alot.

Overall, bad game yes, but not the worst as it has enough good for me to honestly really enjoy it, besides it is pretty funny when it is bad. Don't play the pc port tho

Silent Hill Shattered Memories

Overall Score: 8/10

Unpopular opinion im sure but honestly? I find this game ALMOST on par with the team silent games. Its really that good, yes its a wii game, so this is my score taking into account the motion controls BTW.

For the good, man where do i start. Its BEAUTIFUL for a wii game and esp for a post team silent game, the graphics are nice and Constsitent, the environments are pretty and it has a pretty nice cold color pallet to contrast the warmer tones the series tends to skew towards. The acting and intrgrige are all on point and the WRITING is fantastic, its one of those games you play the first time not knowing the twist and play the second time picking up more and more clues and things that strengthen that twist so much more. Like sh2 its a simple story told in such a clever and interesting way that you'll probably be too invested to put it down, I beat it in one sitting in 6 hours bc i was so engrossed in the narrative. And the Puzzles man! The puzzles are phenomenal and fun to accomplish and there's even a little bit of variety in a few places on repeat playthroughs. The level of detail in this game is insane really, the things that change with the different psychology answers are pretty cool too and tho it all plays out relatively the same its still fun to see the different things you can get to happen. The gimmicks like the phone as an object, taking pictures, sneaking and zooming in, they're not too intrusive as to take away from the exploration or other game play but not completely useless and have some pretty fun Easter eggs too. The game plays sort of like a worse outlast with good puzzles and for that I do have to commend it. Oh and the fucking MUSIC is INCREDIBLE idk something ab this soundtrack has alot of heart put into it clearly.

Now, it's not perfect. The thing is, it is a WORSE outlast type game, in the running and hiding sense but well, the hiding is completely useless, its a run away game, which is ok, but I understand that people aren't gonna be a big fan of that when silent Hill has always balanced combat ad puzzles and exploration. The running segments are..aggravating, mostly bc its hard to figure out where to go, not to mention using motion controls that don't like to work half the time to fight the monsters off of you. Also, the monsters are not scarey in the slightest and the raw shock scream is actually enragaging if you've died one to many times, there's also...not really any penalty for dying. And once you're out for these running segments,there's no danger, no monsters, nothing to hide from despite having a hiding mechanic. Its not really a horror game more of a psycological thriller and I understand that the fact that its not horror can be disappointing. The psychology things might be a bit overhyped And yeah fine, the wii foreplay scene...well yeah its weird but it IS also funny as fuck.

That said, there's still alot thats good and alot thas unfair criticism lobbed at this game. Harry didn't have much of a personality in sh1 bc he's a ps1 character and sm really fleshed him out well, not to mention giving cybil some nice characterization, and they did some interesting things with dahlia and kaufmann. And Lisa.. well I'm gonna be honest I never found Lisa all that interesting in sh1..so it doesn't bother me that she's the way she is in this game. I know people hate the "horny" aspect of it but to be completely fair, YOU choose to make the game that way, don't answer in a sexual manner or look at boobs or anything else and you won't have an overly sexual game, its...literally that easy. Its given as an option for the play id they want to go for what is arguably another joke ending. (You cannot tell me sleeze and sirens is meant to be a real serious ending to the game. Cmon) and you can complain about the innacuuracies if you want but its a spin off, a retelling of the original game. Its not canon, and it didn't change the original game. It just took the ideas presented there and made them more human and lest fantastical, there's some supernatural elements but it takes a backseat to the human moments. And its honestly really cool.

Overall, great game, i reccomend it if you don't mind some slight jank with the motion controls and honestly? Look up directions on where to go for the running segments and you'll have a pretty good time overall.

Silent Hill Downpour

Overall score (so far): 7.5/10 *to be noted i haven't finished actually playing it yet but I know the basic plot and some of the details so I doubt it'll change

And so for the final silent Hill Game, I have to say, i don't think it deserves NEARLY the hatred it gets, there's alot about it that i find really cool and even fun and I think its a solid entry, a little better than origins in some parts and its downsides are both unfortunate and once again, mostly Konami's fault . That said, I'm also not gonna kid and say its a good game, just that I like it alot and we should be nicer to the last silent Hill game were probably ever gonna get.

Downpour has a pretty good, original story overall, there's alot to it, alot of intricacies and intrigue to it that honestly make it a pretty sold silent Hill game. Its different enough from the others to stand out but not super far removed from its themes and messages. I like that it doesn't try and lean into the cult aspect and tries to do something else with it, it doesn't try to explain silent Hill, but just use it to torment the characters, as it should be. There's tragedy ad human feelings here and some of them aren't the most...sensitive but they are pretty reasonable reactions id say. Playing as someone who's odds are stacked against him from the beginning as he's a prisoner is a cool way to open the game, someone convicted and you must discover if he is a good person or not. Themes of revenge explored more than in sh3 which is pretty cool. The environments look pretty nice, and i like the look of the otherworld, once again being unique with its cooler color pallet, but without the ice so it really feels like its own thing. The EXPLORATION is awesome with an actual open world which I think works well, there's alot to do in town (unlike sh1 and 0 on limiting hardware and 2 which just pretends you can explore to town but you cant) there's alot for cool little stories and sidequests to do, my favorite so far being the cinema (which has a section of ACTUAL fixed cameras like old Resident evils which is smth SH has never done and its super fucking cool!) And all the sidequess help strengthen murphy as a cheacter and argue for his innocence or complexites. The weapons system is pretty cool, picking up items and attacking with whatever you might find, finding cool Easter eggs with exploration and having fun noticing things. And it does honestly have the strongest side characters outside of SM. The puzzles are pretty solid and fun to figure out with some cool mechanics and the seperate difficulties is a great thing to bring back (actually done well like sh3) I also kind of like the method of triggering the night world/rain/monsters, and silent Hill really feels likes its constantly punishing Murphy, as it should. The music might not be Akira but its still pretty damn good, and fuck yall I like the Korn song, and you CAN press start and skip it yknow. (Thx tomm hewlit)

The negtitives tho, well they are there. For one it has the worst performance of any sh game outside of pc homecoming and like...the hd collection, the framerate like to shit itself alot lmao, its not usually detrimental bc I've played re2r with similar framerates but, yeah its not great. Not to mention while the models look better than hc they don't animate well or often at all, and the game has trouble loading in the models as fast as they should. The sound mixing could use...some work too, poor murph sounds like he's eating the mic. While I find the games exploration really fun, murphy also has the issue of not running very fast so it can be a little annoying to get back to a place you want to be when you can't run that fast, not to mention the loading times. The monster design is def the worst in the series, maybe on par w SM. Which is disappointing bc there's some pretty good moments here and there, but not nearly enough to make it scary and there's so much you can do with monsters with this premise. Also, the running sections in the otherworld are better than SM ad even more engaging than the brief ones in 2 and 3, but still, I'd prefer to do puzzles or fight a boss or smth. I will also say, the endings are, iffy while the main 2 endings are really good and Anne's bad ending as well as the joke ending are great, murphys bad endings are weird and ooc for the muphy you come to know in the game (even more so than Origins) plus, idk that the writers knew all that much about prison andbprison culture, nobody in a real prison would be mad ab Murphy killing a pedo (there's some racist implications here and there too which is. Unfortunate and disappointing. I like Howard and Robbie but they are a bit tropey, esp Howard) that said Anne is a compelling albeit unlikable character and thas pretty cool to see pulled off.

Overall, while it has downsides, I don't think Downpour is worthy of all the scorn it gets, this can have problems and you can point them out without disregarding the good parts and while it is unfortunate it doesn't run better and have some extras and didn't handle some things great, I still think its worth a playthrough, esp if you go out of your way to do the sidequests.

Bonus round

Book of memories is not a game I intend to play bc I don't wanna get a vita and can't imagine I'm missing much. It doesn't look bad pwr say but I'm not interested tbh

Fuck PT. :)

[laur-rants]

hey, glad to see you poking back around this site! your art and posts have always been interesting and a brighten up my dash. gotten into any new stuff (movies, books, etc.) since you've been away?

Thanks anon! I’m glad you find my stuff so heartwarming.

As for *new* stuff? Well, let’s see. Since 2019 I on-off play Destiny, mostly for work and also for fun. I would say playing DnDestiny which I illustrate for is more what i’ve been consistently up to, and is ‘new’, since it’s the only version of DnD I’ve ever gotten into and played. If you see any of my OC illustrations here, those are my DnDestiny Characters, and a lot of my recent commissions have been for DnDestiny characters, so the platform has brought me a lot of work. It’s nice to have that kind of stability and consistency right now.

I also got VERY into DOOM and the DOOM franchise. I’ve tried drawing for DOOM, because I love the new games, but time has not permitted me to really spend time in that universe like I’ve wanted to. Also, Ancient Gods is HARD AS FUCK so I set aside that for right now. I was too into destiny to keybind for Doom eternal lmao.

I’ve also RETURNED TO Mass Effect Andromeda (didn’t have time to draw anything to make myself feel good) and now I’ve returned in full force to Metal Gear Rising Revengeance. I’m even planning on some fic, if my brain can refocus and this year doesn’t just turn into another abysmal brain situation like the last two were. I also got into yoga to literally calm my anxiety and kill the feeling that I was going to die, every single day and to make myself feel like I was moving my body and exercising a bit. Does that count for new stuff?