#also hey! this is probably the most popular/well known al song out of all these cards! enjoy it while you can ;p

[baalzebufo]

THE WEIRD AL-CANA - 08. STRENGTH- EAT IT

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at some point I was going to have to reference the hit that really put Al on the map :) i figure this works for strength thematically- gotta eat good to grow up strong and healthy, after all. king of making sure you remember to eat your damn dinner

[Prev Card]

[intrulogical]

logan’s spotify playlist analysis

just a few (not really) thoughts i’ve garnered from the logan spotify playlist. fair warning, i have not heard of any of these songs before so i can be incorrect in interpreting some of the lyrics but hey, i’m trying my best, give ya girl a chance. i’ll also analyze the songs in order. summaries of my interpretations for each song is near at the end of the post! if you want to add anything, feel free to reply or reblog with your addition!

(one note, i won’t analyze the other sides’s playlist. i only did this because logan is my favorite, but if you want another analysis, i might do remus only if he gets one.) 

big thanks to the logang discord who talked to me about the spotify playlist and my friend jana for proofreading this and letting me ramble to them! the analysis is below the cut. word count: 8300.

edit: apparently two songs aren’t available in my country, so i wasn’t able to see them right away to be added on this analysis. please check this post for the analysis of the songs what i do for u and the watchtower.

reblogging is highly appreciated!!! i worked rlly hard on this!!

tw: lots of logan angst, mentions of repression of emotions, mentions of lack of self esteem, and there’s a mention of suicide/depresion at the song “one more time with feeling” but i’ll mention it on the bullet so you know which part to skip!

the description of the playlist written by logan is interesting: “I was impelled to compile this selection of songs. I don’t entirely understand some of the lyrics, but I still found them compelling. Listen, or don’t.” the “listen, or don’t” part really suggests many things. one idea you can gain from that is that logan is probably ashamed of the songs he selected, even if he liked them, because it could be dubbed as “childish” but another thought i got is that the playlist confesses a lot of logan’s insecurities and personal issues, which might make him hesitant to present this to us because he’s not used to expressing himself and is probably scared of what others may think of him.

moreover, logan admitting he didn’t understand some of the lyrics sound a bit like a lie to me. while some songs could be difficult to understand without the lyrics, they all connect to something about logan, and to me, it’d make more sense that logan is hesitating to admit that some lyrics resonate with him because the lyrics connect to his personal identity/issues and he is definitely covering it up by saying he just vibes with the song’s aesthetic.

starting off, the elements by tom lehrer gives us the general idea about logan. he’s smart, he’s intelligent, he probably knows a lot more than what thomas knows which is weird but it works because it’s logan. 

additionally, i just found out on genius.com that the song was meant to introduce the elements of the periodic table to an audience with a catchy tune so it can be remembered easily. this could imply that when thomas is learning something rather difficult, logan’s there to find different ways to teach thomas the lesson which thomas can easily adapt to. 

white & nerdy by “weird al” yankovic is one of the few songs in logan’s playlist that’s in the form of a rap. before we dive into this song, i’d like to mention that logan picking very fast-paced songs are very interesting because i feel like raps and fast-paced songs resemble logan’s thought process. like remus, i feel like logan has an influx of thoughts and ideas that run across his head at any given time. fast songs could easily represent how much logan is thinking because raps can easily inform listeners about a lot of ideas and thoughts in one quick moment.

anyway, back to white & nerdy, first thing’s first: logan is an absolute nerd, but he also wants to be perceived as cool. this song practically screams “tryhard nerd is trying to be hip with the kids” and logan could probably relate to that on a spiritual level.

lyrics that probably stand out from this song would be the “I wanna bowl with the gangstas / But, oh well, it's obvious I'm white and nerdy” which is repeated throughout the song with the verbs changed in every chorus. “They see me strollin', they laughin' / And rollin' their eyes 'cause I'm so white and nerdy” could imply that the way logan is trying to be “cool” is failing because no matter what, everyone will still see him as a “nerd” above all else. because of this, it’s hard for him to relate and communicate with the other sides because the way he expresses himself could be something perceived as weird to the other sides. logan is just that different with the others, maybe you can suggest he’s the odd one out.

(this is probably also why in dwit, when he was called “cool”, he let out a disbelieving noise. he just wants to be seen as cool while also being himself and in dwit, he achieved that. the flashcards logan uses across the series is supposed to make him look “cool” but in dwit, he didn’t use any of that at all, being himself throughout the episode, and at the end, he was finally called “cool” for being himself.)

also, this may be a stretch, but if the other sides are supposed to be the “gangstas” he wants to roll with, that also can imply that logan doesn’t think lowly of the other sides. rather, he thinks of them as cool as well, and he wants to be just like them.

algorhythm by childish gambino is a very interesting song and a song that might be a bit difficult to understand (poor me with my bilingual problems) but an interesting take i found on genius.com helped me understand the context of the song. i will explain the song first before discussing how it connects to logan because this song is so smart. the song’s verses display apprehension as many of the lyrics question the validity of humanity and our society. the verses are intentionally distorted and inaudible because these statements oppose what could be deemed as acceptable in the society. the reason it is portrayed this way is because the person is afraid to be the odd one out in a society who thinks otherwise, despite how correct this one person is while the rest of the society isn’t. the chorus, while it could be perceived as something fun, talks about how majority of the society would choose to be ignorant about what is truly happening in our society and they would often follow whatever is popular, trendy, or fun; that is what the “algorhythm” really means. the chorus demands us to follow whatever is being said, to move our body exactly how society expects us to move. we follow the pattern that society deems is good, no matter how many problems still persist in the society. that is why the chorus is the most audible part of the song, why be hesitant when whatever you’re doing is something that the society loves doing as well? the song repeats “the algorhythm is perfect, mmh” twice, and it is expressed by the person who is having questioning thoughts about the algorhythm. this implies that no matter what, you will succumb to whatever society demands of you, and anything, especially the thoughts of one person against many, would not be able to change that.

now, how does this connect to logan? there are two main things i’d love to discuss: 1.) logan being the odd one of the group as his beliefs and thoughts are often brushed aside as they contradict what the other three core sides believe. and; 2.) while sometimes correct, the other three core sides in certain situations could offer the wrong solutions for problems without knowing they are negatively impacting thomas. logan’s the person questioning the society, the other core sides are the majority who can sometimes be ignorant of what could truly be the best solution for problems that arise, and thomas is the one who blindly follows what the majority presents as solutions, consequently making some of his problems worse. 

now for the first point: logan usually is the most insightful whenever there is a problem that needs to be dealt with. it’s already known that he wants to be listened to so badly, and this song implies that he feels disregarded for thinking differently, even if it’ll benefit thomas immensely. an example would be in dwit wherein patton and virgil wouldn’t stop doubting and cutting him off whenever he tries to help thomas. the song is implying that because of how he is the odd one out in the group, he is starting to become more apprehensive about what he thinks because he feels like he’s wrong most of the time. it implies that he thinks it’d be easier to succumb to what the others think is right rather than to think his own opinions are important. just like in the song, logan is “(Moving how they say so)” because at some point, he gives in to the idea that he is incorrect and wrong, and is beginning to adapt to what the majority thinks is right.

for the second point, i don’t want to suggest i’m berating the other three core sides when in reality, those three are also very important to thomas, but then again, those three aren’t the most flexible when accepting suggestions that come from logan. while the three don’t always agree on certain solutions, they agree more with each other compared to agreeing to solutions suggested by logan. when thomas sees this, he might think that because more sides agree with one idea, maybe it’s better to go with the majority, and that pushes logan away more despite his contributions actually being useful to the group.

okay, this is added last minute because i got the thought really late but i think we should recognize this as the event that pushed logan to start having higher expectations for himself. the previous song shows us he wants to be perceived as cool, but the next song shows us he wants to be perceived as perfect. the problem logan had with himself definitely evolved for the worse and i think this song shows us what pushed logan to be so nitpicky about how un-perfect he is.

fitter happier by radiohead has a very direct message and its connection to logan is the same with the message they are trying to say on its own. this song showcases the high expectations logan has for himself to be the most perfect side for thomas, when in reality, the list of things described in the song ironically doesn’t describe how we can become the “most perfect” human; it describes how we can be the most inhuman thing in the world. if anything, the list of activities only makes us more machine than human, which is why the song is spoken through a robotic voice. the connection to logan is really easy to make here: logan thinks that pushing himself to strictly follow a certain itinerary would be beneficial for him in the hopes that he can be the most perfect version of himself for thomas, when in reality, it’s unrealistic as it only encourages the repression of his negative emotions. moreover, this song implies that logan needs to understand that he is allowed to be free and to make mistakes because no human can ever be perfect. all he’ll end up doing is abuse himself if he continued down this path of repression and strict planning for himself. to be the best version of yourself means it’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s important to learn from them, and if you follow this toxic planning for yourself, you’ll only end up being trapped.

medicine by STRFKR gave me a bilingual headache because this song is kind of difficult to understand, even more than algorhythm. someone in genius.com mentioned that “Never Remember / Your Birthday” is actually wrong, and rather, it should be “ Never Remember / You’re perfect / Or anything you like”. the song itself talks about philosophy, saying you can never be perfect because if you realize that you are perfect, you become egotistical and you lose interest in learning more if you realize you’re “perfect”. logan would never, ever want to lose interest in learning-- that’s his entire being, damnit! logan wouldn’t be a person who’d want to disregard the importance of learning. because of this, the song implies logan recognized  the fact that he can never be perfect, albeit quite hesitantly,  but he still aims to be the best he can be for thomas.

the song states that while we cannot be perfect, we can still be curious and hungry for knowledge, and that would be a good substitute for aiming to be perfect. curiosity is the medicine being talked about in the song, and if logan can’t be perfect, at least he can be curious because in that way, logan can learn, logan can educate himself, and logan would be knowledgeable enough for thomas.

the breach by clipping. implies that logan is the most rational side who knows how to keep everything steady. while i won’t get into details of what the song is about, the song is rapped by a computer white a problem is occuring in the space ship they are in. just like the computer, logan is the side who oftentimes knows the correct approach for any given problem, but tends to complicate how he expresses his statements. i believe this song expresses how analytical logan is and how he requires himself to be the most specific he can be at any given moment. same points that i mentioned earlier could be applied again here: despite how intricate logan can be, the other sides need to listen to him more because whatever he’s saying isn’t just useless jargon. he does make valid statements and the other sides need to listen to him more or else, just like at the end of the song, everything can become utter chaos.

just one more thing to add-- while i am unfamiliar with the album, i read the genius.com annotations for the lyrics and it mentioned that the computer, who is a character in the album, slowly becomes more human-like over the course of the story. in this song, which is the beginning of the album, we can easily interpret the computer as an over-analyzing unemotional machine, but over time, they get to become more human and think past their coding. they get to develop their own emotions and they get to become  something more than a logical device. see a connection with logan? this implies that logan’s arc will involve himself being able to differentiate himself as an individual and himself as logic. while he is thomas’s logic, he needs to allow himself to be his own person and have his own personality. (i wonder how that’ll mix in with the “i’m not perfect enough” problem logan has)

letter c by zach sherwin depicts logan’s frustration from being made fun of. the line “Hey you know the only difference between ‘rap’ and ‘crap?’ It’s the letter C” basically implies that someone told logan that his passions and interests are synonymous to shit. throughout the series, while logan’s passions aren’t directly invalidated, he has been called nicknames often, and also is doubted from time to time whenever he expresses something to the others. but the thing is, teaching others, educating others-- that’s what logan is passionate about, and the fact that a lot of the others are disinterested by what he says would undoubtedly make logan frustrated, like what happens in the song. 

however, logan is not good at comebacks unless it was planned in advanced, but this song gives us a good idea of logan’s thought process whenever he gets insulted. we know he keeps a notebook of everything said to him that is deemed as stupid (embarrassing phases ep i think?) and we can understand that insults really get to him and sticks to him deeply. he overthinks about them; he ponders about them.

other than that, having no comebacks also make logan feel ashamed of himself (which is suggested at the end of the song) because not only would he look stupid to the others, he would also look uncool or un-perfect, and he really doesn’t want to be perceived as either.

galaxy song from monty python  is honestly just adorable. while it is sad to see that logan probably doesn’t seek comfort in other people, he does seek comfort in the stars. he is very passionate about astronomy, and while i doubt thomas took the astronomy class logan desperately wanted him to take, logan still hasn’t given up on astronomy like thomas did. while some might be scared of the idea that we are a mere speck in the universe that extends infinitely, logan is fascinated by it. logan loves knowledge, logan loves learning, and he is very fond of astronomy mostly because the knowledge he can earn is unlimited. additionally, he finds worth in himself because he was born in a universe filled with many stars and planets that he finds fascinating, and i think that’s adorable.

streaks by ANIMA! depict thomas’s and logan’s shared development throughout the years, especially when thomas was still a teenager. while there are many hardships growing up, these hardships were detrimental for thomas to understand himself further, and it is all thanks to logan for helping thomas make sense of everything. here, logan highly values education, thinking of it as a crucial part of thomas’s future. the song suggests that logan has planned for thomas’s future for a very long time, and he is convinced that whatever thomas is going through in school will help benefit logan’s plans for thomas. once thomas left school, particularly college, he has learnt everything he needs for a brighter future. all of this knowledge and development is thanks to logan, and the lines “Throw em in the water / They will sink or float / If you don't then you will never know” speak of the process of how logan was able to gain information and knowledge that thomas would apply for himself in the future. this knowledge isn’t limited to academic knowledge-- it’s about his social life, about his personal self, it’s everything thomas has learned. everything thomas knows now is thanks to logan.

okay but here comes the angst. the line “You're a smart kid, tough kid, but you're still a kid that grew” implies so much. firstly, we can recognize that logan probably has had a long time plan for thomas’s future and his career since he was a teenager, and he expects thomas to follow this plan right after college because he expects that at this point, thomas has fully come to understand himself and he needs to put all this progress and development into good use. what he didn’t expect is that thomas was still developing, still changing, and is still “a kid that grew” despite graduating. as we know, thomas mostly does youtube/theatre for a living, and it probably pained logan that all this planning he has turned out pointless. but even if thomas changed career plans right after college, the chorus repeating again implies that logan is still helping thomas develop. he still makes plans for thomas, he contributes ideas for thomas to place in his videos, and most importantly, he ensures a successful life for thomas, no matter what.

erase me by ben folds five is easily one of the angstiest songs on the playlist. in the song, the singer is trying to sing about a breakup and how their ex treats the singer as worthless. if we want to envision this in logan’s perspective, the song would be talking about the fragile relationship logan has with the other sides. the song describes their home together as “Paper not stone” which implies that their relationship was shaky, was unstable, and it was no surprise for logan that they eventually left him. yea, it wasn’t logan who left, but it was the others. this is implied by the line “And when you pulled your half away”. 

even if it is implied that the others left him first, the song still suggests that logan cares deeply about them. but even if he cares about the others, he questions his worth nonstop, evident in like… the whole song. the song is called “erase me”, so it’s no surprise that logan blames himself in this situation and would even think of himself as the problem. it’s clear in the song that logan still deeply cares about the others, and their opinions on him still affect him gravely. the last line “And if you feel nothing, guess what I wanna be? Nothing.” implies that logan highly considers what the others say towards him, and sometimes would treat it as fact. if the others think nothing of him then maybe, he is nothing. throughout the series, logan has been repeatedly insulted and made fun of and while he becomes defensive, the songs in this playlist show that he does listen to the others and their criticisms of him, and he wants to change himself because of it.

while logan ponders deeply about the insults said to him, the song shows us that the others don’t think much of it. the song actually implies they’ve replaced logan as if he were some utility and acted nothing of it. they don’t realize the emotional pain they’ve inflicted unto logan and he knows this. logan recognizes that they don’t consider his worth. additionally, the line “Go and call the cops now, baby” sort of implies that thomas is also in on this and has heard of what the others said about logan and is siding with the others. 

not only does logan feel incredibly sad by this, it’s obvious that logan is also very angry. he’s angry that the others think of him as useless, he’s angry that the others think he’s replaceable, and while he does listen to their jabs at times, he similarly just wants to prove them wrong. while the line “Erase me” can depict him succumbing to their jeers, this could also be about logan thinking of a way that’ll make the others realize his worth. the lines “We know that you don’t seem to think about what you need ‘til you reach to find that you’ve erased me.” suggests that the others can only understand his worth if logan erases himself completely. while the others pushed him away, they haven’t really erased him completely, but they just simply avoided him. if logan actually is gone, or maybe if he… ducks out, the others might realize what big of a mistake they’ve committed.

(honestly, it also must be frustrating for logan that the only way he can prove his worth is to disappear from the others. is his efforts just not good enough for them?)

also, at this point of the playlist, it is quite evident that logan is not emotionless. he has emotions, but clearly… they aren’t positive ones. many of these songs already tell us of logan’s problems: he isn’t listened to enough, he’s been left behind, he’s frustrated with himself, he wants to appear cool to the others, etc. and what’s worse is that he’s dealing with all these problems alone. one of the reasons he probably is repressing his emotions besides wanting to be “perfect” for thomas is that he does not want to reveal how much negative emotions have flooded him because of the other sides. he doesn’t want the others to be hurt just like how they hurt him.

now, art is dead by bo burnham definitely speaks of logan’s thoughts on art, and how flawed he believes roman and thomas’s artistry is. logan would define art as something you can be passionate about with money never being a factor of how great you are performing. in logan’s opinion, roman’s way of creating art is flawed. he views roman’s passion as something fake. instead of being the artist roman thinks he is, logan thinks of him as someone merely egotistical and selfish, someone who’s immature and craves attention. and while this might be harsh on logan’s part, i also think logan recognizes that this egotistical side roman is showing is most likely fake. in the lines “It’s all an illusion / I’m wearing makeup”, and “My drug’s attention / I am an addict / But I get paid to indulge in my habit”, logan understands that perhaps, roman is hiding under a facade. moreover, logan recognizes the danger behind roman endlessly craving attention from others. logan understands that there is a negative side to roman’s need for attention because roman needs to understand that he is valid even without other people praising him; roman relying on attention to measure his value is only going to ruin himself and his self-esteem. while i think the song has many messages behind it (please god help me because i don’t know how to explain this song well), i think this song discusses how despite loathing roman at some times, he is trying his best to understand him. while some parts downright insult roman, some parts show that logan understands roman is hurting.

another interpretation i’ve got is this song shows logan’s views on thomas becoming an entertainer. he thinks that the career he has now is undignifying and embarrassing. logan expresses that people who are entertainers or artists have stopped creating art because of it being their passion; rather, logan thinks these people do it because it’s a cheap way to earn money quickly. in this way, logan feels like the career he has now is unsatisfying because it all feels like a cheat to him. in the song, they state the unfairness of how rich entertainers are despite being lazy compared to people who work in drugstores, aiming to help people the best they can 24/7 with low pay. another lyrics you can use to describe logan’s frustration with how unsatisfied he is with this lifestyle would be the line “Cause I wanted my name in lights / When I could have fed a family of four / For forty fucking fortnights / Forty fucking fortnights.”. but even if logan feels undignified, he succumbs to the fact that he’s trapped being this kind of artist, but it’s obvious he isn’t too happy about it. 

equation by hans zimmer & camille is unexpectedly depressing. this song is most likely sung from the perspective of a child growing up, overwhelmed by how much they have to learn before they reach adulthood. this entire song depicts a child asking questions which are supposed to make them look “grownup” enough, hoping they are on the right path for a successful future. i think this song depicts the stress logan experienced when thomas was approaching adulthood because everyone practically depended on him for thomas to have a successful life. this acknowledges the only time logan has felt overwhelmed by the influx of knowledge he had to learn just so he can ensure thomas that everything will turn out okay. in the song, the singer asks a lot of questions that could be labelled as something “grownups” would do, which shows us that logan’s need to be professional all stemmed from him wanting to help thomas become successful in the future. but even if logan was able to plan for thomas’s future, there are some parts of the song that imply that logan longs for times he was a child again. it’s just… logan just grew up so fast, everyone relied on him at such a young age, and he never really enjoyed his childhood to the fullest. he wonders where his childhood went, and he patiently waits for the happiness he experiences as a child to come back again. then again, that happiness would never return, would it?

additionally, the lines “Have I made you cross? Have I made you sad? Have I made you proud, Mom?” imply that when logan was growing up, he was, most of the time, alone. he never really confided in others for any problems he had, and he preferred handling everything independently. nobody seemed to pay attention to him anyway, even if he really cares for the other sides. i know it’s been said before but logan really needs to gain more recognition for everything he’s done for thomas, and people really need to listen to him more.

while logan would never admit this now, i do think logan, as a child, was immensely overwhelmed by how much he thinks. just like remus, logan has an influx of thoughts and ideas going through his head, and when he didn’t understand it in the past, he probably wanted all of it to quiet down. his role as logic is tiring, and while logan understood this at a young age, i believe that growing up, he began to normalize this as it happens too frequently over the years, evident by how logan usually acts throughout the series. to this day, logan probably has many experiences where he feels exhausted or stressed, but he intentionally doesn’t tell the others about it because again, he thinks that being this stressed is a normal occurrence.

(this is probably why he doesn’t wanna open up with others in the series. while i think he is repressing emotions intentionally, i feel like sometimes, he just doesn’t admit he is stressed because he shrugs it off as a normal occurrence.)

sunrise from in the heights is one of the more unique songs in the playlist. yes yes i know, as a logince fan i am also screaming internally and externally but i do have a different explanation as to why logan placed this song in his playlist aside from him wanting to be closer to roman. this song displays a moment of someone learning, something logan is quite fond of. while the song displays an educational experience between two characters, it’s also very intimate. logan probably believes that to be able to achieve knowledge, you must disregard your feelings because it’ll only get in the way of learning. but this song shows that our emotions could be a motivator for us to learn. that’s what makes logan like this song. this song fascinates logan because in the song, benny, the guy who can’t speak spanish, is learning spanish because he loves nina, the girl teaching him spanish. it shows him that in learning, having feelings and emotions is completely valid, and it doesn’t restrict learning entirely. 

another thing i’d like to note is that songs like this that show a fascination in learning probably motivate logan to learn more. he is merely fascinated when he sees people being amused by education and learning, hence why he might have a fondness for the song. 

one more time with feeling by regina spektor is… sad. it talks about a patient recovering from their illness and coping with the sadness that comes with it. (tw: suicide/depression, please skip to the next bullet if you are triggered by this.) the illness being spoken about in the song would be depression and this shows us the aftermath of someone committing suicide. while i do not think logan would be depressed or suicidal, i do think the song is suggesting that logan is suffering something, and he thinks it’d be appropriate for himself to… erase himself. this is the second song in the playlist that implies logan would want to disappear because the others neglect him. the line “And the pride inside their eyes would synchronize into a love you’ve never known so much more than you’ve been shown” implies that the other sides will finally acknowledge logan if and only if he erases himself, duck out.

we can fully establish at this point that logan represses a lot of his emotions and the other sides know it too. the others, clearly evident in lntao, tries to help logan to stop repressing his emotions, but they aren’t really successful in teaching him. i think it’s mostly because the sides are being sympathetic rather than empathetic, and the sides think that their way of accepting their emotions would be a helpful way for logan to understand his emotions too. but the thing they don’t realize is that maybe, logan isn’t like them, and he can’t use the same ways they use because frankly, it doesn’t work. now, where in the song does this get implied? The lines “You thought by now you’d be so much better than you are / You thought by now they’d see that you had come so far.” suggests that logan did consider the advice of the other sides at some point. he tried to accept his emotions like the others said, he really thought that he might be able to get over his issues. but the wording of the song is really interesting because it says “You thought--” as if the person thought it would work, but it didn’t. additionally, the chorus at the end could be thought of as the advice logan is receiving from the other sides. but the lyrics “Hold on / One more time with feeling / Try it again, breathing’s just a rhythm” implies that the advice he’s getting isn’t working for him. it didn’t work for him, but he’s trying again because he doesn’t doubt the other sides, and if that doesn’t work, he’s trying again. then, the lyrics say, “Say it in your mind, until you know that the words are right.” which is a much more cynical line because they’re implying that if their advice doesn’t work, then logan just needs to try harder until it’s ingrained in his brain. the last line, “This is why we fight” could have a double meaning. one might think this is about fighting your inner demons to eventually overcome them. but this could also mean that the advice logan is receiving from the others isn’t working, and the fact that they push their advice so much unto him would be the reason why the sides and logan fight. in this sense, the lyric could mean “This, the uneffective advice I receive from you, is the reason why you (the others) and I (Logan) fight.”. to cut this short, the other sides need to be more empathetic in trying to understand logan’s issues because so far, all they’ve been doing is make assumptions for logan’s problems and offer solutions that might only work for themselves. for them to be able to help logan, they must put themselves in his shoes and understand logan better, or else they might just end up damaging him.

now, i do have a less depressing interpretation of this song which completely contradicts the last bullet point but i wanted to mention it because it made sense to me. while i did imply that the chorus could have some malicious intent behind it, we can also look at it in a positive light. this song in the playlist is the only one where we see logan possibly getting comforted by the other sides, and that would make sense seeing that the songs after this one would be about logan accepting himself for who he is. so, if we think of this song as the sides finally reaching out for logan, we can assume that at some point in the series, logan will reveal every problem he has to the other sides. at this point, instead of neglecting him, the sides are showing him love that he’s never seen before because they finally understand logan. sadly, their love and comfort would only be given only if they realize how bad logan is hurting, but at least he’s finally receiving the love that he desperately wanted.

in my mind by amanda palmer speaks of a topic similar to the songs medicine and fitter, happier because it sings about perfection. at this point, we can safely assume that logan is obsessed with precision and perfection, and he has aimed to be perfect for thomas for a very long time. problem is, he doesn’t realize how much he’s beating himself up from trying to achieve his perfect self. however, this song is the first one in the playlist which shows logan accepting that he can’t be perfect, and the person he is now is good enough for him and for the others. yes, medicine implies logan understands he cannot be perfect, but the song didn’t really give us that sense of resolution like this song does. i also think this song perfectly resembles how logan’s arc is going to look like. the song is split into four verses and each verse shows us the different stages of how sometimes, we want to be the perfect version of ourselves, but in the end, we realize we’re good enough for ourselves and for others.

anyway, focusing on the song, the first verse discusses logan’s high expectations for himself. the line “In a future five years from now / I’m a hundred and twenty pounds / And I never get hung over / Because I will be the picture of discipline” definitely shows it. he’s restricting himself because, implied by the lines “Never minding what state I’m in / And I will be someone I admire”, he isn’t satisfied with the person he is at the present. To further add to this, the line “And it’s funny how I imagined / That I would be that person now” explains that at some point, logan thought he was smart enough, he once thought he was “perfect”, but he realized that he wasn’t. he thought that he was enough, but no, something made him realized that he still had many flaws (cough algorhythm cough). the line “Maybe I’ve forgotten how to see / That I’m not exactly the person that I thought I’d be” shows him realizing that he wants to be better, he wants to improve himself. logan definitely has his own insecurities about his worth which makes him want to push himself more. 

verse two has the same implications as the first verse but i do believe it is showing the negative effects of wanting to be perfect more. this shows us logan getting used to controlling himself to strictly do things that he can only label as something that’ll help himself improve. this time, it’s stricter with the line “Because I will be the picture of discipline / Never fucking up anything” and it depicts how simple mistakes he commits would make him feel miserable. (cough this means the infinitesimal mistake probably pained him so much cough cough)

verse three shows us logan realizing that the perfect version he aims to be is actually… not so perfect. the lines “I’m so busy with everything / That I don’t look at anything” is logan getting a realization that he hates this. he hates aiming to be perfect, he hates how restricting himself, and this “perfect version” he aims to be is just bullshit. the lines “And it’s funny how I imagined / That I could be that person now / But that’s not what I wanted / If that’s what I wanted / Then I’d be giving up somehow / How strange to see / That I don’t wanna be the person that I want to be” suggest that logan realized that doing all this, aiming to be perfect, is hurting him. he didn’t want to be perfect. i also think that these lines show us that logan is finally prioritizing himself above all things because, evident in the songs before this, he always aimed to be perfect for others. he always saw himself as faulty and he always intended to fix himself. but this verse shows us that he realizes that he isn’t faulty, he isn’t a mistake, he isn’t someone who needs to improve. he realizes he’s in hurting and he gives in to it, realizing he just needs to give himself time to accept himself for who he is because again, he is enough.

the last verse has logan acknowledging that the “perfect version” he aims to accomplish is downright impossible. the lines “And maybe it’s funniest of all / To think I’ll die before I actually see / That I am exactly the person that I want to be.” shows logan finally acknowledging his self-worth. he finally admits he’s good enough, and laughs at his past self trying so hard to be perfect. he’s okay. he understands he’s good enough. (also i am very proud of him, you don’t understand how my heart is exploding rn)

not perfect by tim minchin has kind of the same message as the previous song. it’s quite heartwarming that at this point, logan’s starting to accept himself and he’s not afraid to say he isn’t perfect. in this song, the singer expresses the many things he holds dear in his life, and while he acknowledges that there are some flaws to everything, he still thinks of them fondly, telling us that no matter how un-perfect it is, it’s enough for him. there’s a repeated line of “It’s not perfect, but it’s mine” and it’s easy to say that logan is not only referring to himself, but he’s referring to the family he has as well. he’s been so hard on himself that whenever he sees a flaw in something, he immediately think it’s faulty. but here, he’s acknowledging that flaws are something normal, something okay to have, and instead of turning away from himself or the others, he begins to love himself and his family.

i think the most important verses would be the verses which sing about his body and his brain. it’s all gonna be repetitive, i know, but the lines “I spend so much time hating it [my body] but it never says a bad word about me” and “[This is my brain] where all my fucked up thoughts can hide / ‘Cause god forbid I hurt somebody” really emphasize how much logan struggled before he began to accept himself. while the first line suggests he struggled a lot with how he thinks of himself, the second speaks of how much thoughts he repressed because he wanted to be better for others. while i don’t think the thoughts are really “fucked up” like the lyric suggests, i think this mostly talks about his negative emotions and how he wanted to hide it from the others. but at the end, again, he eventually stops repressing his emotions and allows himself to let them out because it’s perfectly valid.

human by tank and the bangas has almost the same message as the previous two songs. what’s interesting is that logan uses knowledge and different facts to motivate himself to love himself. throughout the song, it tells us facts about our bodies which logan would definitely be fascinated by, and it’s soft to think that he values himself because he treasures the fact that we exist. we are made this way for a reason, everything in his body has been meticulously crafted to serve different purposes, and logan finds it amazing. not only does he use this to help motivate himself, but he uses this to love the other sides as well. in this song, it is implied that there has been a relationship that has gone wrong, and we can think of it as the friendship between logan and the others. while the relationship between logan and the others has been wonky, they will eventually make amends and be close again; logan just needs time to understand himself, to love himself, and when logan is finally okay, he and the other sides and start over. 

what i love about this song is not only is logan accepting himself but he is complimenting himself. while the last two songs are about him saying he’s enough, this song actually shows us that logan is starting to admire himself. he says he’s incredible and valuable, tougher than any superhero, and if that ain’t character development, i don’t know what is 

one last interesting bit is that these last three songs imply that logan honestly needs a break from everything. all this acceptance and loving yourself can only be achieved if logan takes a break from working. i think this implies logan will eventually isolate himself from the others in the series just for a few moments, just so he can finally help himself, and he can only reconnect with the others if and only if he takes care of himself first. 

time adventure from adventure time acknowledges eternalism wherein time is all an illusion and that there is no past or future, just the present tense. everything is currently set in the present, and whatever happened, happens, or is happening will exist forever because everything is set in the same time period which is the present. i think this song suggests that logan has already reconciled with himself and the others again and currently, he is happy with it. he uses this eternalism to emphasize how he treasures this moment of happiness so much. in this way, he can say that this happiness that he is experiencing right now will exist forever because it exists now. there’s not much more to say here than logan is finally happy, the others are happy with him, and he wants this moment of joy to happen forever. 

now that that’s over, i’m going to summarize my analysis of each song in the following bullet points so it can be easier to understand:

the elements by tom lehrer: logan values education and always aims make anything easily understandable for thomas.

white & nerdy by “weird al” yankovic: logan, while he is a nerd, also wants to appear as cool to fit in with the others.

algorhythm by childish gambino: logan feels like he’s being alienated by the group because he thinks differently from them, despite being correct.

fitter happier by radiohead: logan has high expectations for himself to be perfect but this also makes him feel trapped.

medicine by STRFKR: logan realizes being perfect means he might become lazy, and this first showcases logan questioning if aiming to be perfect is a valid thing to do. 

the breach by clipping.: logan is portrayed as someone who keeps control of everything thomas’s mind. without him, everything will disrupt into chaos.

letter c by zach sherwin: logan overthinks a lot about the insults he receives and wishes he can produce better comebacks so others might think he’s cool.

galaxy song from monty python: logan is fascinated by astronomy, bringing him comfort.

streaks by ANIMA!: thomas’s life being put-together is all thanks to logan. logan really should deserve more credit for building the person thomas is today.

erase me by ben folds five: logan feeds like he’s being disregarded and the others don’t know they are hurting him. he thinks erasing himself might make the others realize his worth, even if he sometimes lacks self-love.

art is dead by bo burnham: logan feels undignified with thomas’s career as an entertainer and he thinks roman is immature. then again, this song implies he wants to further understand roman.

equation by hans zimmer and camille: logan was stressed a lot when thomas was approaching adulthood and he thinks his job as logic is incredibly tough, making him miss it when thomas was a child, free of any responsibilities.

sunrise from in the heights: logan is fascinated by the fact that emotions can be a motivator for learning, something he has never thought of before.

one more time with feeling by regina spektor: the others finally understand what logan’s worth is when logan disappears, but the advice they give to him aren’t exactly the best but hey, they’re trying to reconcile with each other.

in my mind by amanda palmer: logan accepts the fact he can’t be perfect and the person he is now is enough.

not perfect by tim minchin: logan begins to understand that the most un-perfect thinks could be the things he loves the most, and he begins to love himself more, thinking it’s enough.

human by tank and the bangas: logan finds comfort in facts as it makes him feel more empowered. these facts make him fascinated with himself, as well as find fascination in the other sides.

time adventure from adventure time: he finally reconciles with the others, reconciles with himself, and he wants the happiness he feels now to exist forever.

now, thomas mentioned in a tweet to listen to them in order. i do think the playlist is meant to foreshadow what’s to happen to logan’s arc. these are a few thoughts that i have that might occur in logan’s arc:

all of logan’s problems definitely stem from him wanting to be cool enough for the other sides. because he wants to be perceived as cool and the others don’t really think of him that way, he begins devaluing himself. this problem eventually evolves, and instead of wanting to be cool, logan wants to be absolutely flawless, and he is abusing himself because of it.

roman is definitely someone with a crucial role in logan’s arc. this playlist references roman more than the other sides and while i don’t know what his role is, i do think he is one of the main people who will help logan during his arc.

with songs like erase me and one more time with feeling, i have a very heavy feeling that logan will duck out or disappear. he did get the epiphany that the others will only see his worth if he is gone, and this might happen during his arc.

ONE LAST THING: thomas tweeted this: 

it is suspicious to me that he says that this is only PART of the reason why. there is a bigger reason to why logan didn’t put crofters the musical on his playlist, and i can only think of two reasons why. one would be he didn’t want to hurt roman since it was evident that logan respects the other sides, especially roman. another is that he isn’t embarrassed by his singing per se, but he is embarrassed with himself. he was too immature, too incompetent, and because logan longs to be perfect, he might consider crofters the musical as a mistake he committed. 

(also, if logan is ashamed of not putting crofters the musical and is hesitant to show us this playlist, does he mean he still is suffering now?)

anywho, conclusion: logan is sad, give him some love, and i hope he knows we love him for who he is. remember that my interpretation is my interpretation, not in any form fact, so if i’m wrong, i’m wrong, and that’s okay! again, feel free to add anything to this and have your own interpretations because i’d love to hear them!

[alright-red]

The rhythm of my heart

Summary: Street racing wasn’t something that Race was particularly proud of. He didn’t like the shitty attitude that people in the scene had and he sure as hell didn’t enjoy spending time after time breaking several laws in one go.

What he did enjoy was the rush of adrenaline, the way his body almost disconnected from his brain. The way his brain assumed that he was almost flying.

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Hey you guys, this is a prequel to a fic I’m currently writing and I thought why not share it. This is for my street racing AU featuring Race and this lil’ thing is mainly me figuring out plot holes so.

Disclaimer: I don’t know anything about street racing and I’m pretty sure it’s shows, but bear with me. Also English isn’t my first language but I think I did okay.

Rated: T for language, I guess. There’s a lot of cursing. ~1500 words

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The engine roared loudly, the entire car vibrating from it’s force, being pushed into third gear with the hand brake still on.

The wheels were turning and had started smoking against the dark asphalt, making sounds that any other person would’ve deemed hurtful to their ears.

To Race though, they sounded like a melody, an old familiar song, that accompanied him on the street. He took the pedal down to the metal and looked straight ahead, where some female thing was waving around flags like she was a shitty circus performer.

Race never knew where the guys got the girls they put on the spot, but he didn’t really care either. They enjoyed the feeling of being part of something like this, so who was he to judge?

Suddenly her waving pattern changed, a pattern Race would recognize anytime anywhere. He checked his rearview mirror one last time.

Three. Two. One.

He put down the break and almost flew into the night, the lights of the city traveling by faster than shooting stars. He barely registered them, focus unwavering and locked on the road in front of him. He knew the streets by heart, knew every bump and sign, knew the way the curves tightened and loosened.

He was confident he could win this thing and he got Albert to listen to the police radio and inform him in time if a car was headed up their way. He rarely got into races with that much confidence but today just seemed to be one of those days. He shifted up to the next gear within a mere blink of an eye.

Street racing wasn’t something that Race was particularly proud of. He didn’t like the shitty attitude that people in the scene had and he sure as hell didn’t enjoy spending time after time breaking several laws in one go.

What he did enjoy was the rush of adrenaline, the way his body almost disconnected from his brain and did all the driving while he focused on the traffic and made sure to let his opponents think they could beat him, just long enough to not end up in a giant brawl in the end, because they could count his win off as luck. It was tactics that helped him survive out here.

Aside from that. there was also the fact that his brain couldn’t quite tell they were driving anymore. It straight up lost all common sense and assumed that he was flying. There was nothing Race could do that would even come close to that sense of freedom (and he had tried to find a less dangerous pasttime).

Race also loved the car that Finch had assembled for him. Well, maybe less for him than for Charlie, but he was the one who took her out for drives at night and beat her up to over 140 mph in the city.

This year Charlie had chipped him a Toyota Supra despite Race’s protesting (“only the best for the best, Race”) and Finch had modified the sleek sportscar with gadgets and technology Race didn’t even pretend to understand. What he did understand though, was that Finch wouldn’t dare to disappoint Charlie and that’s why he trusted in the car. Well that, and because he assumed that Finch wasn’t one to go out and try to get people killed.

Halfway through the course that he had agreed on with his competitor, Race realized he should’ve taken the Toyota out a bit more before racing. Every now and then his driving got weird, whenever the car handled the speed and wind differently than he expected it too and he felt like his handling was going to get him to lose grip and send him flying into the next wall.

He started checking his rearview mirror more regularly, a slight insecurity starting to settle in his stomach, but realized that he couldn’t find a trace of the other’s car behind him. That was beyond weird. Morris Delancey most definitely had not managed to overtake him, yet he shouldn’t be far back either. At least not so far, that Race couldn’t even see his lights in the mirror. Morris’ car was a damn powerhouse and with any other driver surely would’ve come out top of each race.

Race was starting to feel sick. He definitely could not lose this race. Not with high stakes.

Race was well aware that the decision to race Morris was hella risky. Most of the city’s racers went under nicknames, trying to make sure that they couldn’t be ratted out and the plice couldn’t trace them. Or for that matter, other racers.

Morris Delancey though, he didn’t need a nickname to be safe. His daddy’s money made sure of that all by itself. If the police ever got him he’d be free again sooner than sunrise. The racers around the city were cautious of him; not only did he have supplies and money to boost his ride, he also was known for not following the few rules that street racing had.

So when word got to Race that Morris Delancey wanted to race him, the one person nicknamed after his talent in street racing, Race’s initial reaction had been to decline. He was good at what he did, but that didn’t make him stupid.

But now here he was, in Charlie’s car, getting more nervous by the minute, because Morris Delancey had made him an offer he couldn’t pass up. The same Morris Delancey who apparently had cheated and took a shortcut, because there was no way in hell he was that far behind Race.

“Crutch, you read me?”, he asked while speeding up even more, having to use the handbrake to make the turn and partway drifting through the turn that got him back on track to their starting point. His vision started blurring and he took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his nerves. The alarm that had started blaring in his head as soon as he had realized that Morris wasn’t where he was supposed to be, didn’t really help as he tried to concentrate on getting back as fast as possible, throwing any caution to the wind and pushing the car to it’s limits.

A small crackling sound reached him through the radio, followed by Charlie’s voice. “Yeah, man. What the hell is going on out there? We lost signal on Morris’ car a few miles ago. His team ain’t any wiser.”

Shit. Race, contrary to popular belief, wasn’t stupid or slow. He knew damn well that could only mean one thing.

“Crutch, he’s taking a blackout. Haven’t seen his car for a bit and there’s no way he took the lead. He’s playin dirty. I can’t lose this one, you hear me, Crutch?”

When he got no answer, Race started to panic and for split second forgot he was supposed to be handling a monster of a machine at a speed that would kill him if he made one mistake. He heaved the car off the course into the street lamp back onto the road. His knuckles had turned white a couple minutes ago from the death grip he had on the wheel.

“Crutchie?” Nothing.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Fucking Morris Delancey. Fucking asshole.

Another crackled sound made it to the radio. “Yo, Race, it’s Al. I had Charlie take over the radio station. Give me a sec and I will find where that ass is hiding.”

Race breathed out a sigh of relief, thanking the gods for giving him a best friend that had too much free time on his hands and tought himself how to hack pretty much any system. He knew the race couldn’t take that much longer; if he kept up his speed he’d probably be back in around 15 minutes.

“Al, how are we lookin? I need good news and preferably now.” Another turn, another neigh drift. Shifting gears, using the momentum for faster acceleration.

“I got something and… Shit.” The connection went down for a second before - “Race, he went right through that old lane that belongs to the outer parts of the red-light destrict. I don’t know how you can overtake him, man, he’s got a couple miles on you.”

A string or curses left Race’s mouth, some of them slipping right back to Italian. Merda.  Va’ a fare in culo!

“I feel ya. So what you wanna do now?”, Albert asked through the com.

What do you wanna do now? Race didn’t need to think twice. He had raced cheating assholes before, making sure they got a lesson for trying to best him under entirely unfair conditions.

“Funny you should ask, my dear Al. Because I have quite the idea.” He got off the road he was supposed to be taking and drove down a lane that would save him a good couple minutes on his way.

“I wanna take out that motherfucker and I sure as hell won’t let him beat me at my own damn game. Al, get your systems started, I want a route that will put me in front of him me, pronto! I want his sorry ass to eat dirt.”

He heard laughter on the other line, then frantic typing. A beat of static noises and then - “There you go, dude. Show him who’s the King of ‘Hattan!” A small clicking noise let him know that Albert had cut the connection for now, most likely because he knew that any kind of distraction might cost Race his win.

A mere second later the screen inside the car lit up, providing him navigation and - on top of that - let him keep track of Morris’ position.

“Alright, baby, let’s see what you got”, he murmured and took the car down the trail that would cost Morris his sweet, sweet victory.

Race only had one thought as he flew down the streets of Manhattan: I am going to win this thing!

[snellyboi]

More Music Conjectures that are Totally Useless in the Long Run!

So if the first season of Infinity Train got Cameo’s ‘Word Up’ and this season has ‘The Passenger’, then in the unlikely event of a book three...what would the song be?

LET’S GET SOME STUFF STRAIGHT

No, it’s not gonna be something overly popular. 

Had you heard of Cameo before this? Unless you’re a Todd In The Shadows fan, a huge, HUGE 80s buff, or someone else, it’s not too likely. Hell, I’ve been a fan of this sort of thing for AGES and I didn’t even know the guy existed until, like, y’know...Infinity Train came out. That, and the licensing fees for, say, an Elton John song are a lot bigger than something like Iggy Pop. 

How did I come up with these? Well, I’ve been thinking about these options, and slowly trying to piece together something for a possible fanfic, and when I write, I try to get a playlist going for the mood. These are just things that have shown up in the recommended section on Youtube for me. I picked my favorites and went with it. A science, this is not, but hey, we’re here to have fun. If you have any ideas, go ahead and add them to the post, or just kinda...make up your own post about it? I don’t care. 

Some more likely options:

Automatic Man, by Michael Sembello: Starting his music career as a proficient session cat on guitar for the likes of Stevie Wonder, Michael Sembello is best known for the song Maniac from Flash Dance, this is the most 80s song ever written. Top it off with the album cover for Bossa Nova Hotel, and wow. It’s a masterpiece. Could also be about, like, a robot or an AI or something on the train. Y’know. Automatic Man?

The Sun Always Shines on TV, by A-Ha: A song about hidden issues under the surface of fame. The Sun Always Shines on TV, smiling through pain though you wish you didn’t have to. That concept for a season of the show is SICK, and I also just love A-Ha. 

Numbers, by Kraftwerk: One of the earliest techno bands that’s still around today, Kraftwerk’s sound is...primitive, in nature. I mean, all the proof of that is just in this song alone. It’s like the definition of Album Track. But hey, it’s all numbers. Easy link. 

You’ll Never Walk Alone, performed by Gerry and the Pacemakers, from Carousel: One of the running themes of Infinity Train is companionship; whether you’re a king and uniter, or a deer who can change colors among other things, or a reflection, or a guy who hangs out with the eraser kids at the end of the school day, you’ll never walk alone, because alone, you just can’t make it. 

The unlikely options:

Heart of the Sunrise, by Yes: This is a really cool song that just sounds...sick. It’s pretty lit. I’d wager a guess that it’s one of the more groove intensive songs in the Yes Catalog. The only problem is that it’s about as long as an episode, so...unlikely. 

Carackerbox Palace, by George Harrison: This could be easily interpreted as a song about being new to something, like most people would be new to the train. The line about ‘deportation’ from Crackerbox Palace could refer to one of the millions of ways that you could be killed on the train. Of course the licensing fees on this thing are probably astronomical, so it’s highly unlikely. 

Parachute, by Sean Lennon: Okay, so it’s not exactly an exciting song, but if we ever see the song car pop up, this would be an interesting one to hear. Mostly a song about taking the leap of faith that is love. Not likely because it’s pretty...slow and meandering in parts. 

Million Things, by the All Girl Summer Fun Band: Yeah, this is just unlikely because it’s the All Girl Summer Fun Band. Maybe is could be, like...in a twee pop music scene car where they have to navigate out of a basement show through a haze of Newport smoke and sad 90s kids who wish they could have the past back? Yikes...

Everything You Know is Wrong, by Weird Al Yankovic: It’s chaotic. It’s funny. It’s festive. It’s a parody of TMBG. What’s not to love? Well, again, it’s just...a weird thing to put in a cartoon. Why not just go with a regular TMBG song? Because he’s Weird Al. It’s more fun that way. 

[fulcrumahsokaamidala]

Saturday Spectacular #13

Happy Saturday!!! So this is me thanking awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and all the time they put into their fics. ♥️ I want to recommend spectacular fanfic stories I read this week! ♥️ They are posted in the order I read them. All posts will be tagged #saturday spectacular fic rec

Dark Beauty by @oliversmuse | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Meet Dr. Oliver Queen, local psychiatrist who specializes in PTSD due to his own experiences. He has finally settled into a normal life and his practice is going well. Then one day in walks Felicity Smoak, local mob boss. She is looking to change her ways, to escape the violence and death that has been her reality for far too long. She wants to change but her business keeps dragging her back to that dark place she is trying to escape. Can Dr. Queen see the light inside of her and help her change her ways??

Of Shadows and Monsters by @thatmasquedgirl | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Before she became the Vengeance of Starling, Felicity Smoak was Felicity Kuttler. Then she picked up a sword. Snapshots from Felicity's life before she met Oliver. Potential spoilers if you haven't read as far as "Knife in a Gunfight." Rated M for a whole lot of violence and language. Title (and chapter titles) shamelessly taken from lyrics from Halsey's "Control."

AOSFicNet2 Challenge - July - A True Drabble by @lilsciencequeen | Agents of Shield | WIP

Summary: The drabbles (and double and triple drabbles) I wrote for the July AOSFicNet2 Challenge.

You Can’t Afford Him by @quiveringbunny | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Oliver and Felicity, still strained after returning from Lian Yu following the takedown of Slade Wilson, take on roles that challenge their buried feelings when they go undercover to investigate a dangerous arms dealer. A Macau casino. A luxury suite. Suspenders. Lucky red panties. What could go wrong?

The Hardest Part by @smoaking-greenarrow | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: What if Felicity found out she was pregnant with Lucas after Oliver left and she'd have to raise both of their kids without him. Then Oliver would come back five years later to check on his girls only to find Mia playing with a slightly younger boy who looks exactly like him.

"Time for a story” Drabble Series by @smkkbert | Arrow | WIP

Summary: This fic shows Olicity and their life as a (married) couple with family. Although Olicity (and their kids) are the protagonists, other characters of Arrow and Flash make appearances. It started as a drabble series, but developed more and more into a full domectic AU. Although some chapters are still drabble-like, there are longer storylines by now.

flower of the universe (child of mine) by @felicityollies | Arrow | One-Shot

Summary: a very quiet fourth of july with the smoak-queen family.

Providence by @so-caffeinated | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Will Queen has struggled in silence in the year since he was shot. But when a shadowy crime lord known as Domino targets the only woman Will’s ever truly loved, fate forces him to confront his demons in ways he never could have imagined… Whether he wants to or not. Amelia Prescott has fought to take control of her life since learning two years ago that her personal and professional worlds were manipulated by others. But nothing can prepare her for just how hard she’ll have to fight to set her own course, especially when her heart belongs to a damaged man and a crime lord threatens her every professional move… And her life. Destiny brings them together, but as chaos reigns and personal demons haunt Will and Amelia both, it may also threaten to tear them apart.

(i want to) save that light by @callistawolf | Arrow | Completed

Summary: What if one little thing changed in the history of Arrow? What if, instead of going to Laurel’s apartment after discovering the extent of Merlyn’s plans for the Glades, Oliver stayed at the foundry and talked to Felicity instead? This series of short vignettes explores some of the ripple-effect changes that could take place throughout the next season as a result of this one, fortuitous change.

an evening walk by @yespleasehawkeyee | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: On a peaceful, summer evening walk, Felicity and Oliver take stock on the most important thing to consider when living with ex-agents and soldiers. Have our neighbors tried to kill us?

gray henleys and fluffy purple socks by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | Oneshot

Summary: Felicity and Oliver have taken to sharing their clothes recently since discovering she’s pregnant. Well - it’s not really sharing. It’s very one-sided and originating from Felicity, and it’s more stealing than anything else.

little wonders (twists and turns of fate) by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Oliver and Felicity’s drunken mistake of a hook-up in the bunker comes with unexpected consequences in the form of a… souvenir. Deciding to remain romantically uninvolved, the two of them will have to battle all the trials and tribulations of maintaining a platonic relationship while Felicity is pregnant and the two of them are living together, coping with all the emotional baggage that they both bring to the table - and dealing with the fact that they are still very much in love with each other, but scarred by the events that broke them apart in the first place.

Liquid Courage by @oliversmuse | Arrow | Completed

Summary: Felicity has been upstairs at the bar drinking mimosa's when she decides to go back down to the lair and get her purse to head home for the night. Oliver and Diggle realize that she is tipsy so Oliver decides to take her home. However after Diggle leaves them alone Felicity says and does some things that she would never do sober and Oliver quickly finds that his feelings for his IT girl run deep.

ink stains and dumbbells by inlovewithimpossibility | Arrow | WIP

Summary: “Hey Dynasties, Oliver here coming at you with another video!”

“Hi guys, welcome back to Ghost Fox Goddess, I am Felicity Smoak.”

When one half of YouTube duo, Queen-Merlyn Dynasty, lands himself in hot water with Principal Wilson due to failing grades, Oliver knows that he needs to step up his game. The principal recommends a tutor but little does Oliver know that she’s also a successful YouTuber. The two of them set out on filming a collab but neither anticipates how popular their videos will be or the insane reaction the sight of the two of them on screen together will gain from the fans.

Mothers know best by @smkkbert​ | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Since they have been kids, they have been best friends. Since they have been friends, their mothers wanted them to be together. After coming back from the east coast, Felicity takes over a position at Queen Consolidated, the company her best friend will soon take over from his father. Their mothers still push for them to be together, and they seem closer to that goal than ever because wedding bells are ringing. The only problem is that they both plan to get married to someone else.

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark by @tangled23works​ | Arrow | WIP

Summary: This is a collection of scenes I've written but will probably never have the time to publish as part of a larger fic. Sometimes, there are stories that need to be told no matter how short they are. Anyway, each chapter is inspired by a song. Enjoy!

Workouts and Babbles by ElasticMonk | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Oliver comes to the rescue of one cute blonde at his gym just as Felicity stumbles upon one handsome mayor at her gym. They both have something in common, but will it bring them happiness?

Artemis by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: When the Queen’s Gambit sank, two people were stranded on Lian Yu. Five years later, four came back.

Daughter of the Demon by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: What if in 1988 while traveling through Las Vegas Ra’s al Ghul bumps into a nice waitress named Donna Smoak and they have one-night stand together? A little bundle of joy named Felicity Smoak is the result. In 2014, the Demon Head becomes aware of his youngest daughter’s existence.

The Ravager by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Slade Wilson’s plan for revenge against Oliver took time, money and no shortage of lives to pull together. His plan didn’t anticipate Felicity Smoak. How will his plan change now that his lost-lost daughter is working with the very man he’s trying to destroy?

Felicity of Themiscyra by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Years ago, Donna Smoak left the island of Themiscyra and her sister Queen Hippolyta behind to live in man’s world. She never told Felicity the truth about where she came from. As a result of the Undertaking, Felicity discovers some of her Amazonian abilities and makes an interesting new friend: Diana Prince.

The Daughter That Was Left by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Before the Gambit, Oliver Queen met QC intern Felicity Smoak. When he boarded the Gambit, he left something behind. Now, five long years later someone is waiting for him.

I Scream But No Sound Comes out by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: When Oliver returns from Lian Yu after five years, he comes back different. What happened there damaged more than just his body. How will his friends and family deal with this new Oliver?

Intruder Alert? by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Felicity arrives home late to the Smoak-Queen family cabin and for a moment, is scared somebody has broken in. She’s even more shocked to find Mia asleep on the couch with her apparent boyfriend Connor.

Paging Dr. Smoak by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: When Oliver Queen gets into a car accident, he meets Dr. Felicity Smoak. He had no idea how much a chance meeting would change his life.

The Replacement by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Oliver has named Felicity the new head of Applied Sciences. The only thing standing between Felicity and her new role is finding her replacement as Oliver's Executive Assistant and a pesky peanut allergy.

Did I Forget to Mention That My Dad is a Supervillain? by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: When Felicity told Oliver about her father, she wasn’t lying per se. She wasn’t completely honest either. It’s just that ‘my dad left us’ sounded better than the truth.

Or: A Series of one shots in which Felicity’s dad is a supervillain and we see how Oliver and the team finds out.

[abigail-mcnatt-photography]

Hey there! Been quite some time since I’ve posted. It has been crazy busy from moving into my senior year of college, to being a part of orientation weekend, to starting classes, it has been a chaotic 2 weeks. But here I am with another blog post and brand new photos for you guys so here we go.

Four Chord Music Festival: an annual pop punk music festival put on by Rishi Bahl, a ridiculously talented human being, and friends. Seriously though, I don’t know how he does it all. From 6 undergrad degrees and 2 PhD’s to being in his own band and putting on this festival… it’s wild. I’ve been to all of the festivals but the first one and they have consistently topped each other every year. This year, it happened to be the night before classes started so I only stayed for the first 7 hours.

It was cool because this year I happened to become friends with a couple of the bands who were opening the festival. Like I said, I was only there for the first 7 hours, which if you ask me is plenty of time at a concert. While there, I shot Atlantic Wasteland, bloom., Look Out Loretta, Patent Pending, Eternal Boy, and Will Pugh of Cartel. I’ve shot a few of these bands before but it’s always fun to see how my skills have improved since I last shot them. Plus the lighting was great. These are some of my favorite photos, honestly. So, without further ado, read on about the bands I shot while attending Four Chord 5.

First up, we had Atlantic Wasteland, which if you follow my blog, you are very familiar with. I’ve become super close with them and they’ve been the subject of some of my favorite photos recently. And actually, Evan Yester from Hear Tonight (another band I shoot a lot) was filling in on drums for them. I was thrown off at first because I had just gotten to the show not 10 minutes prior and Sam of AW, went on the mic, causing me to run down to the pit to start shooting. The times were a little messed up throughout the whole show but I got used to it. But they were great as usual. They kept the crowd’s attention and kept them on their feet, jamming. They are always a fun band to shoot and watch play. As always, a fantastic set and worth catching a show. If you’re into pop punk, which is the genre of most all bands who played this festival, you will enjoy them. As usual, I tagged their Facebook page above!

Right after Atlantic Wasteland’s set was over, I ran to the second stage because bloom. started playing. They’re a band local to Boston, with members who went to Berklee College. I shot a show of theirs before whenever they came to play at the Smiling Moose. One of their members, Tyler Knatz, is the drummer in Vertigo as well, which is how I know them. They put on a great show also. I noticed the crowd bobbing their heads, as most do at harder core shows, and enjoying the set. They’re on tour currently, but next time they come through, I suggest giving them a go. They’re definitely underrated. Their Facebook page is linked above.

Next up, we had locals, Look Out Loretta, another band you’ve probably seen me post about. Their newest album was released this past spring and the audience knew every word. I even got a few crowd shots during their set, which was pretty cool. For an underground band with a small amount of followers on social media, I’m always impressed with the amount of people they bring in for a crowd. They rocked out as the audience rocked alongside them. Their Facebook page is linked above.

After a small food and caffeine break, I came back just in time to shoot a band I’ve (shockingly) never shot before; Patent Pending, a rock/punk/pop punk band from Long Island, New York. They’ve played almost, if not all, of the last 4 Four Chord Festivals. They have become good friends with Rishi and seemingly, the entire Pittsburgh pop punk scene. I’ve watched them play every time they played the festival, just never shot them. I’m not entirely sure why, but I just never did. Last year, I watched them play a song that, ever since, has been an absolute earworm. Despite being extremely creative, it’s almost too catchy, lol. ‘Hey Mario’, a song with over 2 million listens on Spotify, is their most popular song. It’s on their 2013 album, Brighter and it is great. It’s a song basically about a guy telling his friend that he’s better than the girl he’s chasing after, that won’t give him the time of day. The creative part? It’s all music made to sound like it’s from Super Mario Brothers and it is uber cool. Anyway, they always have known just how to keep the audience’s adrenaline pumping. They were actually the ones to play several extra songs to fill in the time that got misconstrued earlier that day. They were very fun to shoot too. Joe, lead vocalist, jumps like a madman and actually got me my first really dope and clear jump shot that I’m HYPED about. (See below) So, next time you see that Patent Pending is playing in the area, get to that show if you want to have a super fun time. And by the way, if you end being front row, be aware that Joe sweats a lot and you’ll likely get sweat on, hahaha. I had a few drops on my lens, which I found to be very comical.

Next up, we had the man himself… Rishi Bahl and his band, Eternal Boy. In case you haven’t heard of them, they are another local pop punk band I would definitely consider them on the milder end because I’ve come to really enjoy their music. Harder core stuff just isn’t my jam, so if you’re like me and enjoy mild core pop punk, they are for you. They are always great and put on a great set, too. Their most popular song off of their album (under The Spacepimps name), Eternal Boy, ‘Party Foul’ was actually turned into a pale ale beer brewed by Dancing Gnome. I’m not a beer person so I can’t say so myself, but my boyfriend is very into craft beers and was very excited to try it. He loved it… even had 2 while we hung out at the show. Audience members screamed along, and even moshed a bit, while they played. Nothing out of the ordinary for a local pop punk band, really. If you haven’t heard of them or liked their page on Facebook, I linked it above.

Lastly, the vibe was toned down a bit for this next act. Will Pugh of Cartel, from Atlanta, played a little acoustic set. This was a new thing for the festival. In the past few years I’ve attended, there hasn’t been an acoustic act before. I thoroughly enjoyed it, to be honest. Acoustic sets are ridiculously underrated because they are so raw and real. They showcase what the music really sounded like before it became what it was, with just a voice and a guitar. Truly great music can be toned down like this and sound just as great as it does full band. I had never seen Cartel play before, but if I enjoyed the acoustic this much, I’m sure the full band doesn’t/didn’t disappoint. I was worried the crowd wouldn’t react well being that you come to a pop punk show expecting to mosh and act like maniacs. But they seemed to really enjoy the break. It also helps that Pugh has a damn good voice. It was mesmerizing to listen to him play, while I moved around pondering creative shots I could take. That was tough. Having just a man and his guitar makes a photographer’s job a little harder, but I had fun with it. I also think I did a good job also. Pugh put on a great acoustic set and I was thoroughly impressed.

As I said, I only stayed for a bit so I could go back to campus and get editing started. I mean it’s a good thing I did cause even this post took forever for me to put out. However, I was satisfied with what I had seen. It ended on a relaxing note and I felt I got some amazing shots. Bravo to you, Rishi, as always.

Hope you enjoy the shots I took as much as I do. As always, only a handful are featured below and the rest are up on my Flickr page. (Psst… go look. These ones below barely do the bulk justice)

Atlantic Wasteland

Eternal Boy

Patent Pending

Atlantic Wasteland

Will Pugh (of Cartel)

Patent Pending

Four Chord Music Festival 5

bloom.

Patent Pending

Will Pugh (of Cartel)

Atlantic Wasteland

bloom.

Look Out Loretta

Look Out Loretta

Eternal Boy

Eternal Boy

Will Pugh (of Cartel)

bloom.

Look Out Loretta

  Four Chord Music Festival 5 Hey there! Been quite some time since I've posted. It has been crazy busy from moving into my senior year of college, to being a part of orientation weekend, to starting classes, it has been a chaotic 2 weeks.

[k-renne]

Fame is a Lonely Road

Summary: Kylo Ren is the lead singer of the Knight’s of Ren, one of the most well known bands of late. Despite his success in career he still feels lonely, cold, and afraid. That changes when he spots you. 

A/N: ughhhh im a sap, sorry hope you guys like this fluffy oneshot, trying to get back into things, also thanks @fanfictionauthoress for the idea 

Sweat trickled down his brow, the sound of the crowd dying out to the roar of his heartbeat. In that moment he forgot everything, in that moment his world was you.

You didn’t even notice that the lead singer was staring straight at you, completely love struck. You were looking around, observing, waiting, wondering why you were even here. Sure the Knights of Ren was a popular band, and they put on a great show, the music was good but you just didn’t feel that connection, and you were just here because you got such good tickets for free, so you only felt more out of place.

It felt like everyone was staring at you, like they knew that you weren’t a true fan. You slumped in your seat, trying to shy away from the uncomfortable itch of a burning gaze. You quickly get bored of staring at your hands, and wonder when the band is going to play their next song. When you look up you find the source of the gaze, brown eyes molten with passion, framed by dark strand of hair scattered on his forehead. Maybe you were imaging things, but was Kylo Ren staring you down?

You feel your cheeks heat up, and you look away, you were probably just imaging it. There was nothing special about you anyways. You look up again, he’s still staring but this time he’s slightly smiling. Lips curled so faintly that no one would notice it, though there’s warmth that wasn’t there before and it makes you want to melt in your seat.

“Alright this next song goes out to my favorite audience member, the girl in the white shirt.” He points in your direction, now smirking at you. Other girls squeal around you, and you almost cover your ears at how loud they are. “Oh man, he’s so hot. I can’t believe he pointed in our direction!” Your friend Dana says to you excitedly.

“Uh yeah,” You agree, still feeling shaken. You watched the band, trying not to look at the lead singer, but you couldn’t help it his gaze was pulling you in and every few moments it’d return to you, trying not to stare at you so blatantly but failing.

“Hey Y/N, aren’t you wearing a white shirt?” Dana points out, making you quickly cross your arms. “Oh my god, he was talking about you!” Dana jumps.

“No I don’t think so, there’s plenty of people wearing white around here.”

“To a Knights of Ren concert? I don’t think so, I don’t see anyone, and look! He’s looking this way.” You turn your head, trying to hide your embarrassment. “I don’t think so Dana.” It couldn’t be.

“Alright you don’t believe me? Then I dare you to smile at him, if he’s looking at you, he’ll smile back I promise you, and Kylo rarely smiles.” She bets.

You were curious so you decided to test it out, flashing a smile to him. His reaction is immediate. You can see his eyes light up and smile so widely that it still shows as he sings the next verse. Your heart is beating rapidly now because face it, that smile was so cute that your growing feelings boil over.  You never would even think something like it was possible from a man so brooding as Kylo Ren.

“Y/N, we should try and get back stage! I bet he’d want to talk to you,” Dana suggests.

“No way, they’d never let us get back there. Besides, I don’t want to.”

“I think they would with this.” She says, pulling out her back stage pass.

“You can’t give me that, that’s yours Dana, and they’re your favorite band!”

“You can ask for an autograph for me, besides I’m not letting you miss this opportunity when he obviously likes you.”

“Dana-“ You start, she quickly cuts you off. “We’re going, now.” She says, grabbing your wrist and pulling you towards backstage. You hear Kylo thank the audience and wrap up the show, his voice bringing more heat to your face.

You get to the entrance backstage, a man guarding it with crossed arms stares you down, you stop in your tracks; maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Worse you didn’t really know any of the songs from the band and you really didn’t want to make a fool of yourself. But before you can turn around Dana shoves you towards the bouncer, backstage pass around your neck. He nods to you and moves aside to let you in, because you don’t want to be rude at this point you enter reluctantly, scouring the room for a place to hide.

There’s nowhere, so you’re forced to sit on the couch with a few other fans that were babbling about the band members. “Did you hear that Kylo’s single!” One girl squeals. “Better yet, I heard he has an eight pack!” One adds, and then they all squeal in excitement together. You wished Dana was here.

‘Y/N,” Dana calls to you. Of course, she found a way to get back stage, and she’s standing with the drummer Phasma. You walk over to her, bewildered by the situation. “This way, there’s someone who wants to see you.” She explains.

“See me?”

“Yup, and go easy on him too, he’s your biggest fan.” Phasma winks at you. She knocks on Kylo’s door, “Who is it?” A gruff voice rings out. “Phasma, and a friend.”

Kylo opens the door, and he’s taken aback to see you standing there next to Phasma. “Come inside.” He motions. His heart is racing; he didn’t think that he’d actually get to meet you. God he shouldn’t have acted like such an idiot, you probably thought he was some sort of lovesick puppy, or worse a player, he just hoped he wouldn’t make a fool of himself here. “Would you like anything to drink?” He offers, trying to play host. Dammit he wished he had taken a shower, he was a sweaty mess right now

“No thank you.”

“Are you sure? I have an almost full fridge of just drinks.”

“I’ll have some water than I guess.” You shrug.

“What no beer? Don’t want to crack open a cold one with the boys? Or are you underage, you look pretty young.” He comments, making you laugh. “I’m not underage, I’m 24,” You defend. It makes Kylo sigh in relief, only a few years younger; that was doable. He couldn’t date someone too much younger than him, well you were cute but he shouldn’t even be dating someone who was a fan, the two of those things together where a recipe for disaster.

He wished he could’ve met you in a normal situation, where he could actually ask you out on a date. In reality, he’d probably never see you again; his manager wasn’t allowing him to date anyone anyways, even though he was aching to leave the lonely hearts club. His thoughts flitted to a fantasy of you, smiling sweetly at him from across a table. His hand encompassed your own, it was so small in his palm, absolutely adorable.

“Hey,” You waved your hand across Kylo’s face, he just zoned out with the fridge open, water in hand.

“Oh sorry, here.” He hands you the drink, fingertips barely brushing your hand. He sits down on his love seat and pats the spot next to him, sure there were other chairs but why do that when he could feel you close. You sat next to him, feeling his body next to you, the chair was big enough for two, but Kylo was not the average person. You could even catch his scent, pine needles mixed with his natural musk; even though he was sweaty he didn’t smell bad.

“I’m an idiot, I haven’t even gotten your name.” Kylo shakes his head, dumbass.

“It’s Y/N,” You introduce, holding out your hand. He takes it gladly, relishing the feeling of your hand in his, it was small, precious, just like he imagined.

“Y/N, I like it. You can call me Ben, Kylo is just a stage name, though I’d prefer if you didn’t give that out to people.” It was foolish to give you his real name, but it just came out, he couldn’t help it, he wanted to be nothing but honest with you.

“Don’t worry Ben, I won’t, though I’m flattered you trust me with it.” You reply, probably flirtier than you intended. Ben was still holding your hand too, only now just letting it go. He was star struck by your charm and beauty.

“Yeah, I uh-hey so what’s your favorite song of ours, I’m curious.” He changes the subject impulsively, not really knowing what to say. But now it’s your turn to freeze, this was the worst thing he could’ve asked. You couldn’t remember any song names! You could guess, but if you were wrong you’d look like a fool.

“I have a confession, tonight is my first time even hearing most of your music, I enjoyed it don’t get me wrong you have a great voice, it’s just normally not the type of stuff I listen to.” You explain, opting for the honest route. Ben is surprised, he’d never though this was possible, everyone knew his band, everyone. Of course, he liked the one who didn’t, but was that really a bad thing? Maybe he could get that normalcy that he so craved. “I’m sorry.” You add, after he doesn’t say anything for a while.

“A part of me is offended that you haven’t heard of us, but I’m also relieved, sometimes my fans can be a little much.” He turns to you, so that he can make eye contact while conversing. You feel intimidated by the closeness of his gaze and look away, Ben grows frustrated that you look away; he wanted to see your face. “Look at me.” He demands, you do, and he leans in closer.

It was a little too close, now you were basking in his scent, you could feel his breath faintly fan your face, and you have to strain your neck up to meet his height. But if it was really too close then why did you find yourself wanting to be closer? To just lean in and seal the gap?

Ben’s gaze noticeably softens, this wasn’t going right. This was his exact problem, he was horrible with people, al he could do was scare them away. And now here you were, looking like you wanted to run. Something changes in you, and Ben swears that you lean in closer. “Can I have your number?” He blurts out. That’s what you asked people when you liked them, right?

“My phone number, why? I’m just a nobody, I’m not even really one of your fans.”

“Because I think you should come to dinner with me, sometime.” God why was he being so awkward? He couldn’t even remember the last time he did this, he hadn’t dated anyone in a while and usually he never had to ask. He didn’t even know why exactly he liked you, he just knew that he did and he couldn’t let you go, not now.

“Well, give me your phone then, and you can have mine.” You say, handing him your phone with a new contact open. Ben smiles, quickly typing in his name.

A knock on the door interrupts you, “Kylo we’re waiting for you, your other fans want to see you.” Phasma says.

“Oh, right. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“I guess this is my cue to leave?”

“No, stay, I’d like you to stay.” Ben requests, he doesn’t want it to end. “It shouldn’t take that long, then maybe we can get something to eat?” He adds.

You take a moment to consider his offer, it was already late as it is, but Ben was so sweet, and who could resist that pout? “Okay, I guess I’ll be here waiting then.”

“Yes.” Ben cheers, not meaning to say it aloud. You smile at him and he gives you a big toothy grin in reply, bringing butterflies to your stomach.

Maybe it wasn’t a normal way to meet your soul mate but nothing could ever be normal when it had to do with Kylo Ren, one of the most popular singers on the charts. Still, he’d grow to love you just as any man would and then some.  

[lookbackmachine]

Disney’s Science Court History

Disney's Science Court

Listen to the Podcast Here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-look-back-machine/id1257301677?mt=2

00:03 Narrator: It was 1968, the Vietnam War was heading into its 13th year but in a quaint Newton, Massachusetts home another war was about to begin, only this time the battlefield was children's television. It was in January of that year that Peggy Charren formed the Action for Children's Television Group, better known as ACT. It only took one meeting to start, but her battle to increase the educational quality and moral values of television would last until her death in 2015. Charren's cause was noble, she saw that children spent more time in front of a TV than in a classroom and wanted television to be utilized as a supplementary education. She wanted something beyond cartoons that were prolonged commercials to sell product. Over the years she was successful with banning candy vitamin commercials and had many other small triumphs, but ACT's biggest win came with the Children's Television Act of 1990. Its most significant action was calling for three hours of educational programming a week on network. Unfortunately, there was very little enforcement. Then in 1996, more stringent rules for enforcing educational television were enacted with the backing of President Bill Clinton. It began on June 29, 1996, when a star-studded summit was held at the White House, with Clinton giving the opening remarks.

01:27 Bill Clinton: The ability of the United States to make the 21st century the age of greatest possibility in our nation's history depends in no small measure on our ability to build strong families today. To help our parents to succeed, not only in the workplace, but in their most important job; raising good well-educated, well-balanced, successful children. That is why we have worked so hard to give our families more control over one of the most influential forces in our nation, television. As all of you know better than I, it is now a major part of our national landscape. A typical child watches 25,000 hours of television before his or her 18th birthday. Preschoolers watch 28 hours of television a week and, at least during the Olympics, so do presidents. Now we have the opportunity to use the airways for something positive, educational programming as great as our kids.

02:22 Narrator: After finishing his speech Clinton sat down right next to Bill Cosby in a room full of ghosts from '90s past, LeVar Burton, Al Gore, Tipper, Hillary and Peggy Charren herself.

02:35 Peggy Charren: I'm here as a parent and even a grandparent and I was afraid I would float right by the podium 'cause I'm so pleased to be here today for what I think is a very historic event. This is the first time in 26 years that we have all parts of the problem agreeing that we really have to do something to put terrific TV for kids on the air. I didn't know when I went to the Federal Communications Commission 26 years ago, what a political problem children's television was. I thought, you know, I'd talk to the networks and a few stations and say, "Hey, parents, are ready for something terrific. Just give it to us and we'll work to glue the kids to the couch." It turned out that there were a whole lot of political forces keeping that from happening. When the Children's Television Act passed I thought, "This is it". That was six years ago. "We're gonna get what we need". Well, that didn't turn out quite as I had hoped because it didn't really set a level playing field for what's terrific. And what's wonderful about today is that it does just that. So it's as helpful to the broadcasters, I think, as it is to America's families.

03:47 Peggy Charren: And as far as thank you's go, what I discovered is that if the White House, if the people that are working to make the world work better in this country, aren't focused on a problem, it probably won't happen. And I wanna thank President Bill Clinton, and Vice President Al Gore, and their spouses, Tipper Gore and Hillary Clinton, for focusing on what some people may think of as a little piece of the problems of educating our children to grow up happy, healthy, wise and participating members of a democracy. It's not little, as the president said, "Anything they spend so much time with, we should spend as much time as we can making wonderful." And I think this is the beginning of a new partnership, and I promise I will supply glue to America's parents to glue the kids to the couch so they watch what's wonderful. Thank you very much.

04:43 Speaker 4: Great job Peggy!

[applause]

04:48 Narrator: The meeting broadcast on C-SPAN was rather uneventful and more like a self-congratulatory brunch with a few concerns for the future thrown in, but there were a few moments that stood out like how strange it is when Tipper Gore says her husband's name.

05:03 Tipper Gore: And I don't have to tell all of you that are parents that the television battles were only one of the many battles that are fought in the home. Now, when our children began to be at that age where they were engaged in critical viewing, I became more aware as did Al.

05:20 Narrator: And there was Ed Fritz, the President of the National Association of Broadcasters, who had the best quote of the night.

05:27 Ed Fritz: Let me begin by making clear, as broadcasters, we consider ourselves Americans first and broadcasters second.

05:36 Narrator: Though the real highlight of the ceremony was Fred Rogers, Mr. Rogers, who painstakingly recited an entire song from The Neighborhood without a single child being in the room.

05:48 Fred Rogers: There's a song that I sing on The Neighborhood that talks about feeling of anger and it just seems to me it's so important that we give children a whole wide variety of ways to deal with the things that they're feeling. And I say, What do you do with the mad that you feel, when you feel so mad you could bite? When the whole wide world seems oh, so wrong and nothing you do seems very right. What do you do? Do you punch a bag? Do you pound some clay or some dough? Do you round up friends for a game of tag? Or see how fast you go? It's great to be able to stop when you've planned the thing that's wrong and be able to do something else instead. And think this song: I can stop when I want to. Can stop when I wish. Can stop, stop, stop, any time. And what a good feeling to feel like this, and know that the feeling is really mine. Know that there's something deep inside that helps us become what we can. For a girl can be some day a woman and a boy can be some day, a man.

07:13 Narrator: In addition, he also requested another awkward 30 seconds of silence.

07:18 Fred Rogers: And I wonder if you would mind if we would take just a half minute to think about all the people in our lives who have helped us to become who we are. Anybody who has wanted you to know that you have value, would you mind taking a half minute to think of those people? Half minute of silence. I'll watch the time.

[chuckle]

[noise]

08:24 Fred Rogers: Well, whomever you've been thinking about, whether they're here, or far away, or even in heaven, imagine how proud they must be to think that you felt they made such a difference in your life.

08:39 Narrator: Only to redeem himself completely by the end of his speech.

08:43 Fred Rogers: It's people like the ones you've been thinking about who need to fill the hours of children's television. We need to let people know, let our children know, that such people are real and that our children can become such people. Of course, there are many other things that television can do, we can't mention them all here, hopefully we can get together. And those of us who make television, we can get together and talk about these things in small groups. But one thing is that the goal of healthy self-esteem must be other esteem. We need to help our children care for themselves so that they're able to care for others. And we also need to help children become more and more aware that what is essential in life is invisible to the eye. That and also the value of silence. The value of silence in all of our lives. Thanks very much for caring to continue this discussion that, I think, is so critical in all of our lives. Thank you.

10:17 Narrator: It's incredibly jarring how out of place his childlike genuineness feels in a room full of politicians who are supporting the Act because it gained popularity and Hollywood network types who support the law, in part because it's the law. Congress approved of the new enforcement rules and the FCC was now in charge and so, they released a statement. In enacting the Children's Television Act, Congress also determined that market forces alone had not produced an adequate amount of children's educational and informational programming on commercial television, and that government action was needed to increase the availability of such programming. The FCC enforced rules to make sure this happened in 1996. The main rules were as follows: Programming specifically designed to serve the educational and informational needs of children. Core programming is educational and informational programming that satisfies the following criteria: It serves the educational and informational needs of children ages 16 and under as a significant purpose, it is aired between the hours of 7:00 AM and 10:00 PM, it is a regularly scheduled weekly program, it is at least 30 minutes in length.

11:29 Narrator: As soon as you have rules, networks will find a way to bend them to increase their bottom line. Many took the root of educational programming hitting the emotional needs of children with shows like Doug and Recess. These shows were called pro-social programs, they didn't teach kids about arithmetic, but about morality, feelings and socialization. Pro-socials became the dominant form of educational programming within the Act because essentially they were more fun and less educational. The other problem was these rules did not apply to cable broadcasters like Nickelodeon, so the law also hampered networks competing for kid viewers, because educational television puts a vile taste in the mouth of kids and adults alike.

12:08 Narrator: Educational at its core seems directly opposed to entertainment. Educational television is usually categorized as those '50s, "This is your body" films run on old projectors; dry, boring and sterile. And yet, when an educational program undermines that cultural consensus, it is showered with a special reverence that few programs achieve. Bill Nye, Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street, all hold a unique place in the hearts of Americans. Another show that belongs in this category, albeit a little bit stranger, of educational TV done right was Science Court in 1998, which helped Disney's One Saturday Morning fill its educational quota from the Children's Television Act.

12:47 Narrator: Science Court was basically Law and Order, science victims unit. Each week a new case involving scientific principles was brought to the court room of Paula Poundstone. The fast-paced dialogue was heavy on dry wordplay, science and trashing trial lawyer Doug Savage. If NPR created a show for kids, this would be it. The show's animation was as sparse as you can get. The same year Disney created a dazzling sequence in the snow in Mulan. They also created squiggly and generally immobile lawyers. It was another case of Disney going to the opposite end of the spectrum from their previous Disney Afternoon hits. Science Court was more evidence that Disney's One Saturday Morning wasn't so much an extension of Disney, but a separate brand unto itself, it was a perfect storm of factors, governmental and otherwise, that led Disney to green-lighting a show that it sprung from the mind of the same man who brought the world Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist, Tom Snyder.

13:45 Tom Snyder: My career before teaching, I was a recording artist with Capitol Records. I was in a band in New York and we were cutting records and playing gigs at night. Toward the end of the band's career I applied to be a teacher just to get some cash for the band and then I stayed with teaching for 10 years. And while I was teaching, I bought a micro-computer back in 1979, and I taught myself to program, and I started writing educational software. So, I started a company and left teaching. So, in around our 12th year, by then, we had about 150 employees. I think to recreate the experience of being in college where I always worked in the Student Center, I would always go to bars to write all of the code. I was a programmer and therefore a lot of our employees started being bartenders. I would see great bartenders and I'd say, "Hey, you'd make a great marketing and sales person for our company." We needed a lot of them, we had a lot of bartenders working for us. By the way, I wasn't drinking in the bar, I was eating in the bar. One of the bartenders was a woman, whenever she waited on me she used to draw these cute little squiggles on my napkin of different characters. I had an idea one day, this was back in around '93, to start using the computer to do digital audio and animation on for our software company.

15:08 Tom Snyder: And so I created two characters, I created a doctor played by me, and then a son played by me. So it's a psychiatrist and his son. And our first guest in this was Joyce Carol Oates. I didn't know how I was gonna get the animation done, so I asked this bartender, waitress if she would draw the characters that I was speaking and I would create a form of animation where she didn't have to be an animator, I would animate the characters technically through some code I wrote. So all she had to do was draw the father and the son, with some different expressions and a background, like a kitchen and stuff like that. So I would record my voice as the dad, and as the son, it was like very disaffected. So I put together a little two-minute audio of myself, and I pitched my voices electronically, so they sounded like different people. And she gave me the illustrations, and I ran it through this software I'd written that squiggled them and made it look like they were animated.

16:07 Tom Snyder: And so I had this two-minute videotape, and I had a friend who lived in LA, it turned out he worked for HBO, the Sports, which was a sports network back then, but they had a new comedy channel, I think it was called Ha! Which would turn into Comedy Central. And he said, "Do you wanna show your little animated piece to them?" And I said, "Sure." So I showed it to them, they said, "Wow, this is really cool." Especially when I told them how much it would cost to develop because it was all automated, basically, I created the whole thing with just me and one woman. All these executives were sitting around looking at this two-minute thing and they said, "You know, what you really need is talent." And I said, "Hey fuck you, I thought you said I was talented." And they said, "No, no, no, we don't mean that kind of talent. You need professional talent to do the voices." And I thought, "Oh, oh, okay." And so they gave me a list of comedians and one of them was a guy I had a complete comedy crush on because I'd seen him in two movies, Jonathan Katz. I'd actually seen him perform live once in Boston but I didn't know him personally.

17:11 Tom Snyder: And they said, "Well he lives in Boston now. He's Jewish, he's a New Yorker, but he and his wife moved up to the Boston area, so since that's where your company is, stop by and talk to him." So I stopped by his house and showed him the video and I said, "I'll tell you what, if you wanna do this, I'll call it Dr. Katz." And it was while I was sitting right in his living room, I said, "I added colon, Professional Therapist," which I thought was very sort of ironic. He said, "Yeah, that sounds fun." So he and I became best friends. I invited him over to my company and started... Well, actually, all the original recordings were done in my house. I created a little studio down on the first floor in... We had an extra kitchen on the first floor that I converted to a recording studio with the... I took the pantry and lined it with sound insulation with the help of a kid. I had a big company already across town, but I wanted to do this totally independently. And I did the writing with Jon, and I hired a kid who was a bouncer actually at a night club, to be my assistant editor.

18:12 Tom Snyder: He's now become Loren Bouchard who... Have you seen Bob's Burgers? Yeah, he created that. But anyway, we made our first episode of Dr. Katz, and I said to the guys, "Look it, we can produce these things really cheaply." I said this to Comedy Central, "Really cheaply, like a 10th, no, a 20th of what you're spending on The Simpsons for a half hour. But I really wanna do it my way and I need nine months to create the first episode 'cause I have to figure out how it all works." So we started auditioning people, we auditioned Jon Benjamin who's in Bob's Burgers, and Sarah Silverman's sister Laura Silverman became our secretary. And then we got this young comedian who people didn't know except at comedy clubs, named Ray Romano [chuckle] to be our first patient, and we did this first episode. So after nine months, I sent it to them and I said, "This is the thing... " 'Cause I had a contract to do 13 of them, so they called me and said, "It's great, but when do we see the real thing?" And I said, "That is the real thing." And they said, "Oh it could be so much better."

19:14 Tom Snyder: And I said, "Well, I actually don't need this business because I have a software business, I'm doing this as kind of a lark right in my own home. I'll just break the contract, I don't care, because I don't wanna redo it. I think it's brilliant the way it is." I didn't like the crooked world of Hollywood that much. So, I didn't have that much need for it. And I wasn't in it for the blow jobs, the way a lot of people in LA are. They love the fame and fortune, and I'm a Quaker and we're very, very scrupulously honest, and we're not into Quakerism for the blow jobs, 'cause you just don't get that many. And so I didn't hear for them from a week and then they fired the producer that was on it, brought in another producer and they said, "Okay, we'll put it on." So they put it on and long story short, within nine months it had an Emmy, that episode that they said sucked. I think we did seven seasons with them, and we never got a single note from them again.

20:14 Dr. Katz: I remember when we stopped last week, you were telling me about the roles that you play in your household.

20:20 Ray: Yeah.

20:20 Dr. Katz: You were the noise checker, is that right?

20:22 Ray: Noise checker and bug killer.

20:24 Dr. Katz: Oh, you got promoted?

20:25 Tom Snyder: After Dr. Katz started doing well we started getting a lot of offers, and the first one, it wasn't another network, it was a producer, it was Steven Spielberg who loved Dr. Katz, and Katzenberg and Spielberg had just started DreamWorks. So they invited us out to LA, Jon and me. Jon said, "Oh I'm sure I'm gonna say something totally inappropriate." So I said, "Jon get it out of your system right now." Which was not a good idea because Jon started saying the most inappropriate shit I've ever heard him say. And so then we got inside and he said to... [laughter] He said to Spielberg, "You know, I really liked Amistad." It was the slave movie Spielberg had just done about the slave ship. I could tell it was a setup right away, just the way Katz said it. And I was giving the line across my neck sign to Katz, but he kept on going. And Spielberg said, "Really? Oh, that's very sweet of you to say. Why'd you like it?" And Jon said, "Well, I just thought it was such a balanced presentation because I walked out of that movie thinking, 'Hey, you know, slavery is not for everyone.'" Spielberg said, "Well, thank you very much."

21:32 Tom Snyder: He also did a worse thing, he said, "I saw Schindler's List, and that I did not like." And Spielberg said, "What was it about that that you didn't like?" And Jonathan said, "I laughed maybe five times, not funny." And Spielberg said, "Oh, okay," but he didn't realize Jon was kidding him. He also had a third one, because Katzenberg and Spielberg took us into their little studio and showed us the early tracks for DreamWorks first animated thing called the Prince of Egypt, which is the story of Moses, and they showed us the pencil test for it which was gorgeous. They had animators from all over the world doing the pencil sketches for the animation, it was really fun to watch, It was about 10 minutes long. Katzenberg at this point said, "What did you think?" And Jonathan said, "Too Jewish." [laughter] It's funny, even Spielberg didn't notice this, when we brought in Spielberg, he said, "Now how do you do your animation?" I said, "I just do it in my house." He said, "Well, how big is your house?" I said, "It's a little three-floor house in Cambridge."

22:30 Tom Snyder: And he said, "Well how do you... How do you do it? I said, "Well, 'cause we don't actually do animation." He said, "Yes, you do." And he described a scene he had just seen of the doctor and his son in the kitchen and the doctor was cooking, and then walks over the table, and then the son comes over the table, and they're eating scrambled eggs and cereal together. And I said, "You know watch it again, nobody moves, they squiggle but they don't move. No one has ever moved in one of my shows." I was just using a French film technique where you have the father cooking the eggs, and you're over Ben at the table sitting, leaning on his arms, at the table, and then you cut back to Ben, then you cut again and the doctor is sitting at the table, but you never saw him come over. And no one even realized this. We could create all of that motion without any motion. Because really it was more about the voices. Our cast came together and everyone recorded it at once, and we'd be in a... They were all in a big sound booth on separate microphones with partitions between them.

23:34 Tom Snyder: And then I brought all of the people who worked upstairs in the software company who were secretaries, and marketing people, and anyone who wanted to come to listen to the recording session. And I had their laugh track fed live, back into their earphones. So if they said something funny there wasn't dead silence, but it meant that all of the comedians, when they're saying the lines were getting laughs, live laughs. And so they were much better than just putting Robin Williams in a sound booth by himself and asking him to be funny. And we learned this with Ray Romano. We put him in the booth, he was alone and he was like, he said, "This is really hard, I'm not getting any laughs." And we said, "Well, we're trying not to get on your tape." So he was up for two days and we said, "Let us rearrange [chuckle] we are gonna rearrange the studio here, so that people could hear how successful they were.

David Letterman: The animation, Is that a specific style of animation on the show?

Jonathan Katz: Well, it's what my... It was an invention of my partner, this guy Tom Snyder he calls it Squigglevision.

24:35 David Letterman: Oh, 'cause it seems to move stationary shots, so it's kind of a moving around.

24:40 Jonathan Katz: It's... I don't know how much you know about animation, but are you familiar with Squagglevision?

[laughter]

24:44 David Letterman: No.

24:46 Jonathan Katz: Squogglevision?

[laughter]

24:47 David Letterman: No.

24:48 Jonathan Katz: Geez, I really can't help you then.

[laughter]

24:48 Jonathan Katz: But it's... The motions of the characters really represents the emotional turmoil that everyone is in, and it's cheap.

25:02 Tom Snyder: The first time we went out to DreamWorks, we pitched an idea for a show, called... Now don't tell me, it'll mean so much more to me if I think of this myself. What the hell was that show? It was called Giving Ben the Business, that was it. So it was about this kid who... Jon Benjamin was gonna play, who had inherited from his perished father, a talent agency right here in Boston but in a suburb of Boston. The whole joke was that there was actually no talent in that suburb. Jeffrey Katzenberg was calling me day and night, about this thing. And he said he wanted to send producers, to live with us. So, I said, "Alright, you can send your guys." And these guys with very expensive loafers, you know the kind of very expensive loafers that come up about a quarter of an inch on your foot, and they're made of leather so soft that you could rip it, and little tassels, and the shoes cost about $4,000. And that's what these guys looked like. They were in their late '20s, and they were producers there to sort of oversee us. And my entire job with them was to say, "Could you be quiet? We're trying to record." And they were busy playing foosball, 'cause we had set up the studio to be pretty hip, we were early in the hip internet thing. It was a cool studio, I had a bar right in it, and booze like you'd have at a Chili's restaurant, kinda thing.

26:26 Tom Snyder: And so we had these two guys there, and we made our first episode and I went out to DreamWorks. I got to really live in high-style because the unions and stuff. They had to fly me first class, they had to pick me up from a limo at my house, they had to deliver me to DreamWorks by limo. And so it was pretty easy going, but I went out after the pilot was done, and Jeffrey Katzenberg came in with his army of young guys, and they said, "It's good, so we wanna continue." And I said, "Yeah, a couple of things. One is you can't have your producers there because it's a waste of my budget to have to put them up, and I don't wanna waste my budget on that. And not only that, I don't want you to see my budget because... " The other show they were doing at the same time was costing them $2 million an episode, and mine was costing them about $150,000.

27:17 Tom Snyder: I was charging very little money because I thought that was a really interesting way to make shows and I was intrigued by not spending much money. And I said, "But the thing is, you can't be looking at our budget. That'd be like going to McDonalds and wanting to see the breakdown of why you paid a dollar for a burger." And Katzenberg said, "Well, maybe we can do the budget but we have to send our producers to be there." And I said, "Just a minute," and I ran outside 'cause the meeting had just started. And I looked outside and the limo that had delivered me, it was still there. And I said, "Wait here, wait don't go yet." He said, "Okay." I went back inside and I said, "So, is this a deal breaker? Because you love this show, it seems kind of nuts. Is this is a deal breaker? And he said, "Yeah, I think it's a deal breaker if you don't do it. And I said, "Well then I gotta run 'cause the limo is still here, I'm gonna get the limo right back to the airport and get back 'cause I've got a lot of work to do."

28:09 Tom Snyder: It was very sudden, I think it's the only time anyone ever said no to Jeffrey Katzenberg, that's my feeling. But I hopped on the limo and came back, so I had all this staff back there, and when I came back the company was just about to go out on a retreat. And on the bus riding to the retreat, I said to one of my producers, I said, "Well I have this entire gifted crew of people and I just said no to DreamWorks." So I said, "I've gotta come up with another show today," this is the day after I came back. And so, I came up with this idea of teaching science by using sort of a Perry Mason thing. It was a courtroom where one lawyer always won, one always lost, the guy who lost would be sort of... I'd hire a comedian to play him, and I would hire comedians to play my expert witnesses. And we're in Cambridge, and we were right near Harvard so I went to visit Peggy Charren. My wife was going into surgery that day because she'd fallen down the stairs with our newborn kid, everyone was okay, but my wife had to have her leg fixed. And I said, to my wife, "I'm meeting with Peggy Charren and I have to meet her today, but I'll be back to pick you up after the surgery."

29:21 Tom Snyder: So I showed it to Peggy, this idea, and she fell in love with it and she said, "Tom, I'm sure I can help you sell this." So I went down and pitched to ABC, this was all within a week coming back from DreamWorks, and we had put together a little demo of it. And I hired a guy named Bill Braudis to co-write it with me, and he was a writer who'd written for comedy shows. Yeah, I said, "I need one joke that everybody will laugh at networks when I pitch it," and I said, "There's gonna be a jury and the judge was gonna be Paula Poundstone," who I adored, I thought she was a great comedian. And I said, "She's gonna ask the jury: Have you found a verdict?" So I said, "Let's come up with a joke for that." And it was a simple joke but it was fun for parents and kids. So the Judge Paula Poundstone says, "Foreperson, have you found a verdict?" And she said, "Yes, we have found a verdict, the defendant is not guilty," she goes on and says, "And also we wanna recommend to the Court that the prosecutor never wear that shirt with those pants ever again." So we animated that, part of it, and we animated little other parts and showed it to ABC for a quick demo, and got picked up, and they said they would do... I think it was 13 or 22 episodes.

30:40 Judge Stone: Members of the jury. Have you reached a verdict?

30:42 Narrator4: Yeah. I think so...

30:43 Judge Stone: Just the Foreperson please.

30:46 Foreperson: Me?

30:46 Judge Stone: Yes, you.

30:47 Foreperson: Now?

30:47 Judge Stone: Yeah.

30:50 Foreperson: We the jury find Pip Peterson and her pipes, innocent, not guilty.

30:56 Judge Stone: Okay that...

30:57 Foreperson: One more thing.

30:57 Judge Stone: Oh, come one.

30:58 Foreperson: We recommend that Doug Savage never wear that shirt and those pants together again, ever.

31:04 Judge Stone: Good. I agree with the jury's decision. Science Court is adjourned.

31:09 Baliff: Science court is a germ? Ugh.

[music]

31:16 Tom Snyder: So we were out for The Luce one Saturday morning, and it was a white glove press event. So it was a huge room with hundreds of press people in there, and up on the panel were the creators of the shows. And I had Paula Poundstone sitting next to me too, 'cause I thought that would be fun. It came time for me to show my thing, and we showed our most recent episode, which was about a chemical spill. A guy raised his hand at the back, he said to me, "So you're anti-pollution, does that mean your anti-progress, your show is anti-progress?" I was stunned that such an asshole question could be asked. And Paula was sitting next to me, and I was fumbling for words a little bit, and she put her hand on in my hand and said, "Tom can I answer this one for you?" I said, "Oh God, yes Paula please do," and she says, "Hey, I have one question for you before I answer your question. When you wake up in the morning, do you know right away when you're waking up you're gonna be an asshole, or does it just come over slowly during the day?" The whole room exploded with laughter, and we didn't have to answer his stupid question.

32:31 Tom Snyder: They insisted that we have a science expert, and that was the thing that we all laughed about because we took, "It's gotta be educational," very seriously, and we noticed that, really, all the other shows were dodging the entire education mandate of Peggy Charren and the Congress by coming up with this term, pro-social, which meant it didn't have to be educational if it just taught kids to be nice. And that, by the way, is not my definition of educational at all. So I don't know if the other shows actually had to have a science physics sort of consultant but we had a physics consultant because we were actually educational.

33:09 Tom Snyder: And they brought him in on the second episode 'cause we'd already written our first episode. The second one was about atoms or something like that, but it was just the simplest treatment of atoms because this is Saturday morning TV, and the guy said, "Well if you're gonna talk about atoms, you really should talk about molecules," and then he said, "And if you talk about molecules you've really gotta talk about bonds," and I said, "You know what, If we've gotta talk about bonds, we really have to talk about the latent heat of vaporization, and we should really also talk about subatomic particles." 'Cause I could see the direction this was going, that I wasn't going to be able to do sort of fifth grade level kitchen physics science, I was gonna have to push it much too far. It was kind of just a drag to have a science consultant 'cause we were vetting the science ourselves, we had our own... All my buddies are scientists, we were laughing about the plots we were coming up with and... But yeah, so we did... That was the one kind of note we had at the end of the series, yes, they said that after three seasons, and they had...

34:21 Tom Snyder: I don't know how many we've done, maybe 40 or 50 shows, and they said precisely, they said, "We're gonna rerun these." And I'd lost a little bit of interest in the project, because I could see that we were the only real sciency one, and that it was losing some of its teeth. I felt it was kind of cheating because the people who were using the term pro-social were able to write just plain out comedies. If I had just been doing pro-social for ABC, I could have made a show that was so hilarious, but trying to actually explain how electric circuits work, and a break in the electric circuit causes the electrons to stop flowing, yada, yada. That takes a lot of time away from comedy, and narrative, and puts it into pure explanation. And I've always thought, "Oh it's kind of cheap that we're the only ones who are really playing by the rules here."

35:18 Tom Snyder: The Secretary of Education for the United States mentioned Science Court though, as an example of what they had meant by the Bill, and I was very pleased with that, because I'm as pro-social as the next guy, but when that's an excuse to just do comedy, when Congress has asked for educational TV, a certain number of hours. And I think I became cynical about that pro-social and I was very glad when the Secretary of Education said, "Hey, Science Court is kind of what we meant." The guy who I was working with... 'Cause he was a really great guy at ABC, he was so sad when he called he said, "I can't believe this is over," but yeah, it just kind of... It ended with a whimper. And it was alright with us because we couldn't take all the gigs we were getting. And then right at the end of that period, I sold my company to Scholastic. Yeah, the book company. 'Cause they had that big red dog whatever his name is. But they also had totally fucking lucked into Harry Potter. So Scholastic was just rolling in money, then they bought our company and...

36:30 Tom Snyder: So suddenly I had an owner that was trying to take over my animation division and it got to be absolutely no fun. So I left in 2000, I sold my company. I sold both, I sold the animation company and the software company. And I would have become a gentleman farmer, if I liked the outdoors. When we sold our company to Scholastic, they had real problems with the kind of comedy of Dr. Katz and other shows we were doing like... We had a show called Dick & Paula, that was an interview show where we were only interviewing famous people who were dead. Some of it got pretty... [chuckle] It got pretty raunchy. And so we started having battles with Scholastic's lawyers about that, and that was the time at which I said, "Goodbye." I had kind of a reputation. It was like, "If you complain too much, he's just gonna walk." Which made it fun for me to be in the business, that's why I enjoyed being in the animation business for the years I was in it, because we were just having a ball.

37:31 Tom Snyder: Once I sold my company I was doing sort of freelance. I did a thing for Fox. Do you remember American Dad, when that came out? It was Seth's next show, and we were competing with Seth for that time slot. And so, my show called Say Uncle, was up against Seth's show, and since we were doing it for Fox, they said, "We'll do the animation for you." And since I didn't have a company anymore, I said, "Alright, we'll design the characters and you can animate it over in Korea," which they did, and it cost so much more money than my stuff used to cost but um... Just to show you how cruel LA is. So I got a call from Fox saying we'd won, we'd won the thing... It was gonna be us in that time slot and not American Dad. So since this was network again, I went out in front of this very house and sat on the steps with my bag packed, because they wanted me to come out to the upfronts to introduce the show. And so I'm waiting for the limo to arrive and I get a call from Fox. They said, "There's no limo coming because actually we decided it's American Dad, not your show, since we called you, and so we cancelled your arrival and Seth is gonna go."

[music]

38:46 Tom Snyder: And so I'm sitting all packed up on my front porch waiting for a limo that didn't come. And I said, "You bastards, you knew, you knew... " You see, they said yes to the both of us, just to make sure we were both ready, before they had decided. It's really wonderful to get out of that world.

[morningrainmusic]

Top 25 Albums of 2017

A lot of very good albums came out in 2017. These are my favorite 25, with some thoughts on each of them. See you in the new year.

Best,

The Staff of Morning Rain Music

25. Ty Segall – Ty Segall  Almost all of Ty Segall’s albums (there are a lot) are made to be turned up to 11. His second self-titled release is no exception. Segall said of the live recorded album, “There’s something about a band in a room – it’s a feeling you can’t replicate. There’s a feel to the music. The band is so good, and I love the feel of this record.” So do I.

24. The Feelies – In Between  I took one journalism class in college. The professor would play music before starting lectures and I vividly remember one class when he played The Feelies and then talked about how great and underappreciated they are for a little while. I don’t recall much else from the class, but I remember that. I wonder what Greg Downey is up to now.

23. Mount Eerie – A Crow Looked at Me A Crow Looked at Me is this year’s Skeleton Tree (Nick Cave’s 2016 musical tribute to his late son). To call Phil Eleverum’s meditation on the death of his wife a slog of misery would be a profound understatement. Listen to it and feel his utter despair.

22. Fleet Foxes – Crack-Up  Fleet Foxes’ return after six years on hiatus isn’t as triumphant as Helplessness Blues, but it’s a bold and invigorating odyssey of an album that could only come from the questioning, adventurous minds of Robin Pecknold et al.

21. Ryan Adams – Prisoner I got really into Adams’ Heartbreaker this year. Could this have primed me to enjoy Prisoner more? It has been called his best and most personal record since his 2000 debut. You be the judge, I guess.

20. Chastity Belt – I used to spend so much time alone If The National are music’s reigning “sad bastard” kings, Chastity Belt’s latest album make them contenders for the spot as queens. Or “sad bastardesses” maybe. A quick glance at the track-list is a pretty good indication of what you’re in for—“Stuck,” “What the Hell,” “5am,” “Bender.” These aren’t exactly pit of despair bummer songs. They lack the “look at me” dramatics of The Smiths or Joy Division. Chastity Belt keep it low-key, conveying something of a slow-crippling, dejected resignation that’s truer to life. If I’ve just made this record sound like complete agony, let me assure you, it’s not. I used to spend has some pep in its step—a bit of that Pacific Northwest punk spunk. One of the guitar breaks in “Something Else” even slightly recalls The Cranberries’ “Dreams.” So it won’t completely overwhelm with its ruminations on feelings of self-loathing/emptiness. For that kind of experience, turn to Mount Eerie.

19. A. Savage – Thawing Dawn Thawing Dawn  has some glaring flaws, but I listened to it a lot in 2017 because I really like it. Andrew Savage (who is in a band called Parquet Courts, you might’ve heard of them) has an everyman’s voice that sounds like a too-clever-for-his-own-good friend talking to you on the subway, regardless of whether you’re actually listening (“Eyeballs”). He also delivers a tender, slow-burning love song (“Wild, Wild, Wild Horses”) and a full-blown country waltz, slide guitar and all (“Phantom Limbo”). It doesn’t all work (see the church organ-heavy dud “Untitled” and overly drawn-out existential crisis-mode plod of “What Do I Do”). But something about the rest of Thawing Dawn, imperfections and all, is simply pleasant and demanding of the occasional revisit.

18. Kevin Morby – City Music If you like Bob Dylan (any era) you will probably like at least a handful of Kevin Morby songs. This may seem like a lazy assertation since the same could reasonably be said about a few dozen current artists, but I feel the comparison is worth making because Morby leans into the Dylan-ness a bit further on City Music, the follow-up to last year’s also excellent Singing Saw. The influence, of course, is not accidental and it isn’t limited to Morby’s charmingly wooden vocal delivery. City Music finds Morby getting even more introspective, a tad emotional and notably more poetic. One of the highlights is the ambling, groove-laden title track, which is preceded by a short Flannery O’Connor passage read by musician Meg Baird. The track gradually builds to a rapturous rave-up with Morby shouting the lyrics (there are only fifteen distinct words in the whole song). Play it fuckin’ loud. Side note: “Caught in My Eye” is a great introductory song to this album and Morby in general.

17. The xx – I See You  The xx, a band known for hushed tones and stark minimalism, broke free and brought dancehall spirit to their brooding songs. I See You is a natural next step in the group’s evolution.

16. The National – Sleep Well Beast  The National are not everyone’s bag, and understandably so. They require time and attention, which people seem to have less and less of these days. For those who do though, and are inclined to give The National a chance, the experience is a rewarding one. On Sleep Well Beast they do a bit of everything—rock out, wail lovelorn agonies, get glitchy, and mutter cryptic lyrics. I’d like to know who “dead John” in “Carin at the Liquor” store is, one of the record’s strongest, and most National-y tracks. But then again, The National are with each new record proving that they’re quite adept at going in a lot of different directions.

15. Hiss Golden Messenger – Hallelujah Anyhow  Hallelujah Anyhow is a record that seems to have slipped through the cracks. That’s a shame because MC Taylor creates the kind of terrific country-ish folk rock that should make any self-respecting music fan who’s ever picked up a Lumineers or Mumford and Sons record seriously question some of his or her life choices—no offense to those bands. Listen to “Harder Rain” and tell me that isn’t dang good southern rock music. But really, listen to the whole album.

14. Aimee Mann – Mental Illness  Aimee Mann does here what she does best, which is craft melancholy portraits of life’s disappointments. And she does so beautifully. It’s a strange and strangely uplifting album. Also, it might be the most universally enjoyable album on this list.

13. LCD Soundsystem – American Dream James Murphy broke up his band when they were seemingly at the height of their popularity, threw a huge goodbye concert/party in Madison Square Garden, and then spent years puttering around with coffee, wine, and musical turnstiles. All the while he was (presumably) wondering why the hell he called it quits. LCD Soundsystem’s new album which, as recently as three years ago was never supposed to exist, is a solid homecoming that retreads their well-established punk meets electro art-rock style with some new tricks. They have a long history of spastic, challenging songs and American Dream contains the most in terms both of quantity of tracks that fit this bill and quality (the challenging-ness, that is). If you don’t like their first album (or the genre they’re working in) don’t bother. That being said, songs like “how do you sleep,” “oh baby,” “tonite,” “emotional haircut,” and “call the police” bring the goods dance-wise. Album closer/bonus track “pulse (v. 1)” finds LCD going full techno for almost fourteen minutes. So yeah, it’s good to have James Murphy and co. back again.

12. Alvvays – Antisocialites  Alvvays, is one of those little indie bands that could. The spelling of their name is stupid. The songs they make are sunny and catchy. Lead singer Molly Rankin wrote much of the album “in isolation in an abandoned schoolroom” on the Toronto Islands. Taking your word on that one, Spotify “about” section.

11. Japanese Breakfast – Soft Sounds from Another Planet  Soft Sounds could be called a distant cousin of Frankie Rose’s Interstellar from 2012. Both Rose and Japanese Breakfast’s Michelle Zauner sing in angelic tones, inspired by distant worlds in the infinite cosmos. Zauner, however, thinks a bit bigger, and quite a lot hookier too. I’m talking about entrancingly dreamy, poppy, shoegazing tunes that shoot for the stars and land firmly in the heart. Fantastic song titles too, like “Here Come the Tubular Bells,” “Jimmy Fallon Big!,” and my personal favorite, “The Body is a Blade,” also one of the standout tracks on an album full of those.

10. Vince Staples – Big Fish Theory  Between songs during Vince Staples’ set at Pitchfork Music Festival in July, I leaned over to a friend and said I think Staples could be the next Kendrick Lamar. He looked at me quizzically and said, “I think he already is.” It was a bit of a “no duh” moment and one listen to Big Fish Theory proves the comparison to be accurate. It’s a club-ready banger of an album with sharp rhymes and an aggressive current running through it. “745” is, give me permission to write this just one time, the trillest track of the year. It also echoes Lamar’s “Backseat Freestyle” with the repeated “all I want” lyric.

9. Spoon – Hot Thoughts By now, everyone who gives a damn about good music should recognize Spoon as one of the most reliably great bands of the last twenty years. Hot Thoughts sees them stretching their legs, experimenting with some new sounds, but always sounding like Spoon, which is to say cool, confident, sexy, and slick.

8. The Courtneys – II  I feel like The Courtneys should be bigger. Maybe not huge, but definitely a lot bigger. They’re three gals from LA by way of Vancouver who love 90s pop culture and write songs that fall somewhere between candidly wise (“Tour”) and endearingly goofy (“Lost Boys”). There’s also a Big Star-inspired track (“Country Song”), one about a guy moving to the cold North Country (“Minnesota”), and one about iron deficiency (“Iron Deficiency”). Everything is up-tempo and there’s nothing not to like.

7. Lost Balloons – Hey Summer How do you feel about fuzzy, sentimental jangle-pop? How about infectious melodies sung by a guy from Japan? How about deep left-field bands cracking the top ten of MRM’s best albums list? Those questions are rhetorical and this album is very good. Lost Balloons’ Jeff Burke and Yusuke Okada crept under the radar for a while, but they’ve earned the seven spot with a record full of sprightly, mournful ditties. They’re what the characters of Sing Street call, “happy-sad.”

6. Mac DeMarco – This Old Dog The pepperoni playboy is so good at making excellent, laid-back, reflective indie-rock, it feels like only three full-length records in, folks are already taking him for granted. I’ve seen very little love for This Old Dog on other year-end lists…what gives? It’s the most stripped back and mature-sounding of DeMarco’s work so far. Is Mac more fun when he’s singing about the lighthearted aspects of life? Of course. But listening to a song like “Dreams from Yesterday,” it becomes clear that this gap-toothed goofball is at his best when he gets into the deep stuff.

5. Alex Cameron – Forced Witness Part of me can’t believe one of the year’s best albums is by a dude who sings about prowling for women on the web, benching other guys’ bodyweight, and how he’s “packing heat” under his jeans. What’s so remarkable about Forced Witness is how easily it could have been a complete disaster. Adopting a stage persona this crass and outlandish requires an unwavering commitment to the character and, more importantly, having the musical chops to back it up. Cameron and right-hand man on the sax Roy Malloy deliver both, with a batch of killer tunes that weave tales of pathetic delusion, macho posturing, and (perhaps unexpectedly) extreme vulnerability. The carefully crafted façade Cameron takes on is one of the most entertaining aspects of these songs, but it’s how sadly desperate for connection his brazenly low-life characters are that make many of them perversely beautiful. Cameron mixes uninhibited rock star swagger with portraits of seedy, disturbed individuals from the underbelly—like Springsteen, Zevon, and 80s Joel all rolled into one greasy-haired goon. The results are mesmerizing.

4. Mount Kimbie – Love What Survives The opening two songs of Love What Survives sometimes remind me of a terrific movie from this year, the Safdie brothers’ Good Time. The film’s music by Oneohtrix Point Never is a completely different brand of jittery electronic from Mount Kimbie, but these songs produce images of urban menace and escalating panic that, if you’ve seen the film, you’ll understand why they would fit snugly in its world. But then, three tracks in, the record pivots. “Audition” and album standout “Marilyn” slide in to cleanse the palate, providing a hazy, coolly detached warmth. If that sounds a bit enigmatic and contradictory, that’s because it is. This is the brilliance of Love What Survives, an album that earns the distinction of 2017’s breakout revelation. The genre Mount Kimbie occupies is admittedly not my area of expertise, but if ever I was asked to recommend an album of UK-based electronic/“post-dubstep” to a total neophyte, this might be the record. Built around a half dozen guest vocalists including James Blake and King Krule, Love What Survives is a gorgeous collage of sounds—organic and industrial, familiar and foreign, soothing and unsettling—that has a truly captivating effect. And while it is not the best of album of 2017, it is the most fascinating.

3. Lorde – Melodrama  I want to begin by saying I think the music of Taylor Swift is pretty much irrelevant to Lorde. They are both massive female pop stars with fiercely loyal fanbases and, as it would happen, the two are pals (or at least they present themselves publicly as such). Stylistically though, all the two have in common is that their songs fall into the (depending on your point of view) ever-broadening or frustratingly narrow genre of mainstream pop. The reason I bring Swift up is because 1989, which is now just over three years old, seems to be the unanimously agreed upon best pop album of recent memory—it is also the highest selling. Its appeal is near-universal and it is indeed, a stellar album. I’m here to tell you that Lorde’s Melodrama is even better. This is a collection of moody and electrifying songs whose consistent quality is made more impressive by the fact that her previous record is similarly fantastic. Loosely based around the concept of a night spent partying, Melodrama is the rare example of pop music that transcends its generic conventions and manages to be both a supremely satisfying get-up-and-dance record as well as a thoughtful reflection on youth, romance, and the fleeting nature of both.

2. Kendrick Lamar – DAMN. Crown him folks. Kendrick Lamar, best rapper alive. What’s that? We already did that? Okay then, if you weren’t sure before, you ought to be now. The man can do it all. DAMN. is a rightfully ALL CAPS PERIOD rap record that tackles everything from heritage to crippling self-doubt to our divided nation and racism like no one else can. When it comes to beats, flow, intelligence, and charisma Lamar is in a category of his own. “There’s a difference between black artists and whack artists, ” Lamar raps on “ELEMENT.” He’s not wrong.

1. The War on Drugs – A Deeper Understanding  This is a blog so ridiculously unread that the point of keeping it up at times feels woefully nonexistent—I sometimes question why I don’t just shut it all down to the dismay of no one. Why post something on the internet for it to be utterly unnoticed? The same question could be posed to the tens of thousands of other amateur music bloggers across the country with year-end lists that probably look a lot like this one. I don’t know what their reasons might be. Complete lack of awareness? Blissful ignorance? The self-assigned obligation of a shameless vanity project? Mine, for the little it’s worth, is an unadulterated love of rock music and a compulsion to champion the uncompromising musicians that make compelling art. That’s a mission statement of sorts, generic and predictable as it may be, for a largely inactive blog run by a guy who listens to and reads a lot about rock music. That’s all this is. And since I’m on the subject of big cliché statements and uncommissioned content that oversaturates this largely vapid world wide web, here’s an undercooked question whose answer is as subjective as it is insignificant: What is the state of rock and roll in 2017? Reading Collin Brennan’s COS piece from early this year, in which he mines bands like Japandroids, Cloud Nothings, Jay Som, and Real Estate for something resembling a conclusion, I got to thinking about this question myself. Then I got to thinking about The War On Drugs and how they fit into this tired conversation. Here’s what I know to be true: rock and roll, contrary to what people may tell you, does not require a new roster of fresh-faced superstars. It does not need to dominate the charts. It does not need to be young people’s genre of choice, the soundtrack of a revolution, and it certainly doesn’t need to lazily repackage the sound of former greats. Don’t call The War on Drugs or any other band for that matter, “saviors of rock” because rock doesn’t need saving.

Artists like The War on Drugs, albums like A Deeper Understanding are proof that rock and roll’s health report is just fine. The Philadelphia-based band, led by studio obsessive Adam Granduciel, are endearing underdogs: the guys that rose from indie obscurity to fame-straddling heights on the back of an exceptional, critically adored 2014 release. They have made a name for themselves by borrowing from the best. A little Dire Straits, a lot of Bruce, some Ghost is Born-era Wilco distortion, Granduciel’s hushed, Dylan-esque drawl—their sound is built from a foundation of musical greats. These influences are easily recognized on A Deeper Understanding, but it never sounds like mimicry. Instead, it sounds like reverence. Steven Hyden (who also named it the best album of 2017) put it nicely, writing about how the record doesn’t actually sound like the artists the WOD are so frequently compared to. “It does sound like your memories of that questing, widescreen heartland rock music,” he writes. “This is what Adam Graunduciel does best: He evokes the spirit of classic rock’s past without ever literally replicating Bryan Adams’ gruff vocals, Mark Knopfler’s bluesy guitar, or Born In The USA‘s glockenspiels.” The band has mutated their sound over the years from rootsy to atmospheric to this new incarnation, which could be called “quietly epic.” This phenomenon comes across best in a song like “Thinking of a Place,” the eleven-minute opus that somehow doesn’t feel a second too long. “Strangest Thing” builds to the point where its swelling guitar motif will forcibly displace you from whatever you are occupied with and once it’s over you’ll need a moment to come back to Earth. “Nothing To Find” is the breeziest on the record, and equally suited for a large amphitheater or a car stereo on an open road. I could go on and on, but I won’t. This album will not knock you on your ass or change the way you think about music. It’s not the best thing since Nevermind, it’s not even the best album by this band. Here’s what it is: an engrossing sonic experience marked by lush guitars, heartland synths, and a whole lot of things being very strongly felt—longing, nostalgia, confinement, and of course, pain. It’s the kind of album that hits you at your core without sounding like it’s trying too hard to. If the question, “is rock and roll is still capable of having a profound impact today?” were a legitimate one, the sixty-six minutes of A Deeper Understanding would make for an effective, resounding, “Yes.”

Honorable Mentions:  Courtney Barnett & Kurt Vile – Lotta Sea Lice Real Estate – In Mind Run The Jewels – Run The Jewels 3 Randy Newman – Dark Matter Four Tet – New Energy Margo Price – All American Made Big Thief - Capacity

[garynsmith]

Kindred Cities: Affordable Alternatives to Your Favorite Pricey Places

America’s premier cities seem to have it all: Instagram-able park and city views, edgy bars, oodles of culture, a vibrant and weird street life, shops that sell cookie dough by the scoop. All that awesomeness comes at a steep price. The harsh reality: Buying or renting in urban meccas like New York, San Francisco or Denver is increasingly out of reach for many folks.

That’s why so many city-centric millennials, empty nesters, and everyone in between are finding themselves in a gut-wrenching double bind: Should they continue to fork over ludicrously high portions of their paycheck for housing, or throw in the towel and decamp to the suburbs?

Why not search out affordable alternatives for urban living—far cheaper cities with many of the same features that made you fall head over heels in the first place? Enter the realtor.com® data team.

We distilled the true character of some of the nation’s most expensive metros to find budget-friendly—and unexpected—counterparts around the country. Think of them as Metro Matchups™—places that link up to the nation’s urban meccas in critical ways, but where you can buy a home for less than $350,000. Less than $350k!

If you’re leaving one of the U.S.’ biggest cities, you’re probably not going to move off the grid to somewhere without a reliable Wi-Fi signal (unless that’s your thing). So we limited our ranking to the 150 largest metros. All have median home prices below $350,000, plenty of gigs, and some ethnic diversity. We factored in housing stock, occupations, weather, nightlife, and a whole host of other criteria that help define an urban center’s unique personality:*

Percentage of stand-alone, single-family homes, condos, townhouses, and co-ops listed on realtor.com

Average days of sunshine per year

Dominant employment sectors (finance, government, tourism)

Dominant occupations

Restaurants per capita

Bars and nightlife venues per capita

Art galleries per capita

Number of pro and amateur sports teams

Car ownership rates

Some of our Metro Matchups pair up as you might expect. Others might make your jaw drop. But hey, we’ve got the data to back it all up! So let’s get going.

San Francisco, Calif. Median home list price: $868,000 Matchup: Raleigh, N.C. Median home list price: $339,200 Matching metrics: Tech jobs, tech jobs, and did we mention tech jobs?

Let’s be real: There is only one City by the Bay! But if even thinking about your monthly rent or mortgage bill makes you reach for the anti-anxiety meds, you might want to consider Raleigh.

Hear us out. The metro has the fifth-highest concentration of high-tech jobs in the nation. And the cost of living is just a fraction of that in San Francisco—or any of the other elite urban tech hubs like Boston or Seattle.

Runner-up: New Orleans, La., with its food and nightlife

Los Angeles, Calif. Median home list price: $699,600 Matchup: Savannah, Ga. Median home list price: $249,900 Matching metrics: Movie production and beaches

Next time you’re eating butter-doused popcorn at the movies, just remember that film could very well have been made in Savannah. Yep, you heard us right: This is the Hollywood of the South. Savannah ranks No. 3 nationally in actor, producer, and director jobs.

The recent “Baywatch” movie, starring Zac Efron and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was filmed in the Gothic Southern city, as was Robert De Niro’s “Dirty Grandpa.” Please don’t blame Savannah for those! Let’s focus instead on Ben Affleck’s “Live by Night” or Channing Tatum’s “Magic Mike XXL.” Or “Forrest Gump”!

But it wouldn’t be truly Hollywood-esque without a good, old-fashioned celebrity arrest. “Transformers” actor Shia LaBeouf was booked in Savannah for disorderly conduct and public intoxication while on a production break this summer.

The city’s popularity with filmmakers is in part thanks to a tax credit the state began offering in 2008. From 2010 to 2014, filmmakers spent $58 million to produce movies in Savannah, says Trip Tollison, president and CEO of the Savannah Economic Development Authority. They spent $60 million in 2016 alone.

If you plan to relocate, don’t forget to pack your sunscreen. Savannah has some fantastic beaches at Tybee Island.

Runner-up: Las Vegas, Nev., with a star-studded nightlife that never stops

Honolulu, Hawaii Median home list price: $695,000 Matchup: Myrtle Beach, S.C. Median home list price: $235,000 Matching metrics: Gorgeous beaches, scads of tourism jobs

Want to escape the high cost of the 50th state but keep your swim trunks handy?

Myrtle Beach was named one of the top 25 favorite beach towns of 2016 by Travel & Leisure and one of the best family beach vacation spots by U.S. News and World Report. It has a beautiful 60-mile string of beaches dotted with hotels, mini golf courses, and boardwalks.

You might miss the luaus, the sublime surfing, and the soy-and-sesame-bathed raw fish in poke bowls, nut you’ll have plenty to do here, and lots more money to do it with. That’s probably why Myrtle Beach welcomed more than 18 million visitors over the summer of 2016.

And if you’re a business owner, you know that vacationers keep the lights on. Myrtle Beach has tons of tourists, with holes burning in their wallets. They’re well-advised to hold on tight to those wallets, as the city is known to have a higher-than-average crime rate. But things are getting better, and the place is growing.

Runner-up: Orlando Fla., with off-the-charts tourism, Disney-style

Denver, Colo. Median home list price: $499,500 Matchup: Kansas City, Mo. Median home list price: $245,800 Matching metrics: Hipster scenes and car culture

Kansas City is no longer a stodgy Midwestern metropolis. The city’s downtown has been transformed over the last few years, and now it’s home to about 20 breweries. Heck, Kansas City was even the first market to get Google Fiber’s broadband service in 2012, which gave its small tech sector a turbo boost.

Looking for a hipper-than-thou bar? Head out to the Crossroads neighborhood, where you’ll find the Manifesto, a historic watering hole dating to Prohibition that’s now known for its wildly creative mixology. Or try Swordfish Tom’s, named after singer-songwriter Tom Waits.

Now that you have a few cocktails in you, head over to the First Fridays outdoor event to enjoy street music, sidewalk vendors, food trucks, and art exhibits.

Denver refugees don’t have to give up the great outdoors, either. They can hike the Little Blue Trace Trail at Fleming Park, which runs alongside the Little Blue River.

When you’re packing for the move to Kansas City, just make sure to leave behind any uneaten brownies. (Wink, wink.)

Runner-up: Omaha, Neb., with its numerous jobs in finance

Boston, Mass. Median home list price: $489,500 Matchup: Philadelphia, Pa. Median home list price: $249,400 Matching metrics: Historic brownstones, tech and finance gigs galore

We’ve got bad news for Bostonians: It doesn’t matter how many healthy dishes New England Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady prepares from his fancy new cookbook, the man can’t play forever. Don’t worry: You’ll get some brotherly love where you’re going.

So what if Philadelphia doesn’t win the Super Bowl every year? It’s a darned good sports city in its own right. Indeed, the city is sixth in the nation for pro sports championships, four spots behind Boston. Plus, there’s nothing like eating a Philly cheesesteak at a Phillies game.

Built in a similar colonial era, Philadelphia has housing and city architecture that many a Bostonian would appreciate. The Philadelphia cityscape is a mix of Georgian, Greek Revival, and Victorian architecture.

Rest assured, you wouldn’t be the first Bostonian to leave for Philadelphia. Mr. Hundred-Dollar Bill himself Benjamin Franklin did the same almost 300 years ago.

Runner-up: Chicago, Ill., another city that goes gaga over its sports franchises and St. Paddy’s Day parades

Seattle, Wash. Median home list price: $485,000 Matchup: Minneapolis, Minn. Median home list price: $311,300 Matching metrics: No shortage of condos, tech jobs, and music legends

Seattle had Kurt Cobain. Minneapolis had Prince. And while these luminaries are gone, their songs live on, just like each city’s music scene.

Live-music aficionados can check out the Soundset Festival in Minneapolis, which draws more than 35,000 fans each year. This year, the event featured performances from Ty Dolla $ign, Travis Scott and Gucci Mane.

And that’s not where the similarities between the cities end. Minneapolis is a bona fide start-up Eden.

Runner-up: Philadelphia, Pa., with its aerospace industry and fondness for damn good coffee

New York, N.Y. Median home list price: $472,500 Matchup: Chicago, Ill. Median home list price: $279,700 Matching metrics: Unbeatable nightlife, financial capitals, pizza obsession

You’d think a city with more than 8 million inhabitants crammed into tiny apartments paying astronomical rents might have lots of folks eager to move. But if they did, they’d be giving up so much: Central Park, daily celebrity sightings, 77 Michelin-starred restaurants…also 24-hour subways that keep passengers waiting for ungodly stretches, cat-sized rats, ill-tempered hot dog vendors. OK, maybe there is a reason to leave the Apple. But once you’ve tasted it, where else can you go?

There really is only one more affordable city that could hope to do the city justice: Chicago.

Even the most stubborn New Yorker might be won over by Chitown. The Chicago skyline is gorgeous, with Willis Tower doing a fine Empire State Building impression. Once a laggard in the foodie department, it’s now home to some of the best America has to offer. They’re just cheaper. And yes, the city also has its own public transportation system. (Sorry, it, too, tends to keep you waiting.)

The two cities are also known for their mob roots. New York had the Five Families. Chicago had the Chicago Outfit and Al Capone. You decide if this is a good thing.

Runner-up: Baltimore, Md., a port city with lots of condos

Portland, Ore. Median home list price: $450,000 Matchup: Columbus, Ohio Median home list price: $241,300 Matchup metrics: Hipster havens

 The warning signs were there: man buns, artisanal pickle shops, and rooftop bars. So the Buckeye State shouldn’t be too surprised that hipsters have invaded their state capital. Yep, Columbus has even fallen for avocado toast.

Nearly 20 craft breweries have opened in Columbus over the past five years. Want a taste? Attend the Columbus Ale Trail, where you’ll try suds from the 37 total breweries located in the city.

Runner-up: Madison, Wis., a college town with a funky food and nightlife scene

Washington, D.C. Median home list price: $429,500 Matchup: Trenton, N.J. Median home list price: $290,000 Matchup metrics: Government jobs rule the roost

On a weekend walk through the nation’s capital, you’ll see the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial. They’re beautiful. But are they worth the high price tag you’ll pay each month in rent or for your mortgage? Hey, it’s not easy on many government salaries!

That’s why folks may want to consider Trenton. We know it’s a stretch. But the city has government and nonprofit jobs to spare: Nearly one in three jobs here is in the government sector. It may not have D.C.’s museums or a “House of Cards” power scene, but does the nation’s capital have an annual Pork Roll Festival? (We honestly don’t know.)

Keep in mind it’s only 26 minutes to Philadelphia, about an hour from New York…and if you get really homesick, two hours from D.C. on Amtrak.

Runner-up: Tallahassee, Fla., an even more unlikely government-driven economy

Miami, Fla. Median home list price: $387,500 Matchup: Phoenix, Ariz. Median home list price: $317,200 Matchup metric: Sunshine and baby boomers baking in it

Hurricanes are becoming more frequent—and the cost of flood insurance isn’t going down, so maybe you’re a little less adamant about keeping your beachfront abode. If that’s the case, give Phoenix a look.

Despite lots of development, Phoenix still has some reasonably priced cribs. And nearby Scottsdale has grown its tourism in recent years and is trying to market itself as a party-seekers’ destination.

Another perk? Phoenix has much lower humidity. Hair problems solved.

Runner-up: Virginia Beach, Va., with its oceanside fun

*Data sources: realtor.com, Bureau of Labor Statistics, Census Bureau, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, Nielsen, Google Trends, Yelp.com

A version of this article originally appeared on realtor.com®.

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