#also hes currently totally segregated from our other cats

[emeraldbroam]

6.5 cats

So I feel like this is a tale tumblr would like and not just my various discord servers. Ie the tale of why when someone asks me how many cats live in our house I say 6 and a half

Roughly a month ago (1/8 to be exact) I exit my bedroom to discover a random fucking cat in the hallways of my house. Okay, not the first time not the last time, whatever. I trap my cats in their bedroom and open the cat door, no sign of the cat by morning so it's whatever, that's that, right?

Wrong

Also by this point I've already grown attached to my little scrunkly feral man, and nicknamed him Lucifer bc he looks like if you took my cat Lucy, made her into a stuffed animal, and then put her through the washing machine

Next night, guess who comes back through the cat door but Lucifer himself. So I decide fuck it and set out a live trap for him. However he has access to our cats food, so he just eats that instead and leaves the house

He fights with our orange cat during the next night, then no one in the family sees him for a week (but it's possible he's still coming and going)

The next confirmed Lucifer sighting is 1/28, and he allows me to come within 5 feet of him and doesn't kill me for sneaking up on him and poking his very cute butt while he's asleep (he was snoring....)

Then I once again have to leave for a week, during which time I hear no news of Lucifer bc I'm the only one regularly in and out of the cellar where he appears.

I arrive home today to learn that 1. it's very likely Lucifer hasn't left the house in the last 7 days, 2. my aunt and mom are now fully on board with trapping him, and 3. apparently there is cat shit all over the cellar.

I need to remind yall that this is a fully feral cat. 100% belongs to a feral cat colony and has never been a pet. Very likely he's in some way related to my cat Lucy who was adopted as a kitten from that same feral cat colony

Anyways there's a live trap laid and tomorrow I'm gonna go find an empty cardboard box to see if he'll use a litter box and some wet cat food to trap him and take him to the vet, cause he's my good feral boy and I'd say we own 7 cats but my mom insists thats "too many" and "over the top" so until I convince him to sit in her lap and purr, we own 6.5

[todaysbiggesthits]

The Exam

Best Music Moment of 2019

BC: Three straight hours of this

in my Chapman Ryder Cup match with Code  -The Robert M. Chennault Playlist in my Ryder Cup match with Laser  -Vampire Weekend's "M79" with Parks and Rec theme interlude in Pawnee Peytonville with my babe  -Late night music game with JD and Chaps this Fall  -My kids competing for best air guitar solo to Daft Punk's "Digital Love"  -The Stones soundtracking Raceday morning with Counterfeit Kenny and the Kennel Boys 

Codem: -Picking up the keys after closing on #our house and listening to Arden's dreams for the pad while listening to the songs that brought us together in the first place. -Perched in the balcony of Park West watching Chromatics live and in person. -The Chapman format playlist that Brendon and I put together.  It was just one song on repeat.  Xtal - Aphex Twin -Plugging in my klipsch's for the first time in the new house to listen to elliott smith on the day of his death. the sound of his discography wafting throughout the whole house was a true delight.

Bronco: My 6-year-old discovering Green Day.  My 9-year-old discovering Metallica.  Both discoveries have awakened something in them that is hilarious and awesome to behold.  And seeing Tool was pretty flaming awesome.

JD: March: Realizing I’d never heard this Stones song, nodding along to the opening riff, and exploding into my biggest laugh of the year at the first line.

June: The Joni Mitchell performance in the Rolling Thunder Review documentary on Netflix. June: Catching the Thom Yorke Anima short film at the IMAX theater on the Upper West Side. July: Code and I getting a perfect 99 score on the greatest rendition of “Emotional Rescue” karaoke you’ll ever see. October: Playing the music game WAY too deep into the night with BC and Chap (look for the next day’s hangover on my worst moments list).

Chap: Patrick Stickles singing "I'm sorry dad no I'm not making this up" to his dad in the audience.

Nasty: Listening to music at BOB. Nothing but jams that whole weekend. Driving in with Laser - GOOGLE MUSIC JAMS. Trip to the casino - JAMS. Hanging out on the deck - JAMS. Driving to the course with Blazer Black - Fuck Buttons - Sweet Love for Planet Earth aka JAMS. In the cart with Code - JAMS. Driving Chappy and Sfreddo to the rental car - JAMS (but quietly).

Larse: Greta Thunberg speech dubbed to metal

Best Shows Seent in 2019

Nasty: The Killers @ Summerfest. Hot Fuss will always be an all-time favorite album and Mr. Brightside is the best pop song of our lifetime, IMO. Also, my wife loves them which is about the only band in middle of the venn diagram. 

Larse: The Lonely Island at Summerfest

BC: Dead & Company

JD: 1. The Rapture at Music Hall of Williamsburg 2. Viagra Boys at Bowery Ballroom 3. The Strokes and Parkay Boys at the All Points East fest in London with drunk lads screaming along to the guitar parts 4. B Boys at Union Pool 5. Titus Andronicus at Bowery Ballroom 6. Avey Tare at Market Hotel 7. Tame Impala at MSG 8. Weeping Icon at Elsewhere 9. Priests at Elsewhere

Code: interpol - chicago theater illuminati hotties - hideout it looks sad - subT downstairs robyn - riviera steve malkmus - art institute eleventh dream day - hideout colleen green - sleeping village swearin' - lincoln hall surf curse - subT shura - the bottle

Chap: TA was the only show I saw. It was great!

Bronco: All of them.  They were each great in their own way.  Aside from Tool I was able to interact with the band members at each of the shows.  One I didn't have a ticket for and scored one at the door.  One was in the tiniest venue I've seen a show at.  One had a surprisingly entertaining opening act.  And Tool surprised me with how much I enjoyed an arena show despite being so far away I couldn't see the facial features of the band members.  And there was SOOOOOOO much weed being smoked in the Garden that night.  And I was with a few good buddies.  And I was able to sell my fourth ticket for twice what I paid, simulatenously covering me and my fourth friend who had to bail because his life sucks because his wife sucks. 

Confession of 2019

Nasty: I consume more music at my cushy, suburban OrangeTheory workout classes than in my own free time. S/O to Coach Vanessa for having some Girl Talk on her playlists. 

Codem: i had more fun listening to stuff that i already knew about than stuff that was coming out.

BC: I saw a Yacht Rock cover band and didn't hate it -I succumbed to social pressure and saw DMB -I didn't realize until the last minute that my favorite album was released in 2018 (Wild Nothing). Removing it greatly reduced my loyalty to my list.

Bronco: I'm losing my edge.  I enjoyed way more lady singer bands this year than in any other year.

Chap:  Couldn't get my shit together on the tracks list so just posted a random playlist

Larse: Not really a confession but more of a TIL (today I learned), but Raphael Saadiq was an original member of Tony! Toni! Tone!

Biggest Disappointment of 2019

Bin: The National @ Summerfest. From the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel "the frontman was completely detached, even confessing at one point that he was excited to get back home to his family. The result was an incredibly depressing show — which, given the band's dour songs, is really saying something." ... Huge Bummer.

BC: Didn't see nearly enough shows with nearly enough of yous 

Chap: Sturgill Simpson... unlistenable!

Bronco: Baroness.

Laser: Modest Mouse opening for The Black Keys

Code: i was really messed up by dave berman's passing. i had tickets to see him play at the end of august. it was going to be my first catching him live and in concert. i had waited for this moment since i picked up american water back in 2003.  two weeks before he was supposed to come through town, he up and died.  also, much less of a bummer, the chromatics show in miami that Arden and i were going to attend got canceled two days before the show.

Most Overrated of 2019

Nasty: Kanye's shoes

Chap: LEGACY! LEGACY! – Jamila Woods seems to have been highly regarded? Not my thing

BC: FKA Twigs

Bronco: Baroness.

JD: Big Thief

Code: cancel culture

Larse: Mayor Pete

Make it Stop 2019

Chap: In my house, the Nutcracker Suite. It's great, until the 300th time that day.

Nasty: Cage the Elephant (but children, instead of elephant, and in real life, not the band)

BC: Lizzo 

Code: lizzo

JD: Memes

Larse: Trump

Bronco: News

Biggest TBH Regret of 2019

Chap: Can't seem to get to more than one show per year; Jessica Pratt in a church by my old place

JD: Missin’ dat Pratt yet Nick!

BC: Should've listened to the Kanye album.  Should've spent more time with the Deerhunter record.

Rotty: Skipping CHVRCHES at Summerfest

Code: another year with no fog party

Nasty: Not going to Indy 500. lol jk.

Bronco: I didn't buy tickets to a few shows I would've liked to have seen.  One of them I went to the venue and didn't get in.  That bummed me out, but I crossed the street and had a few beers by myself for good measure, so it wasn't a total loss.

Detective Murtaugh of 2019

JD: Everything.

Bronco: Shows that don't start until 10pm. That Girl Band show nearly wrecked me.

Chap: How much I loved Bruce Springsteen's adult contemporary western-themed old-man album.

BC: The ten seconds I lasted with 1000 GECS

Nasty: For the life of me - I cannot figure out how to operate the "play next" queue on these apps. 

Laser: Lizzo at Summerfest - lot of younglings running around; people were racist towards Lizzo's security guards, she vowed not to come back to MKE, one of the most segregated cities in America :(

Resolution for 2019 Status

Laser: — How It Went: Who can even remember this shit...I'm sure it was that I'd do better at keeping track or listen to more shit people suggest and I'm sure I failed.

BC: Listen to one new album a week; reboot the Classic Album Review Club How It Went:  Noooot toooo gooooood

Code: catch ovlov, pictureplane, washer, chromatics, EMA and colleen green live this year. How It Went: i saw chromatics and colleen green. last i checked .400 gets you into cooperstown.

JD: Greater consciousness of how I’m using my attention - an ineffectual and meaningless protest of the ways the world is burning down in pursuit of it. How It Went: Not bad! I especially nailed the “ineffectual and meaningless” part.

Chap: Learn Piano; Guilt Joe Dons into finally inviting me to a concert. How It Went: Learned some piano but got to busy for it... Couldn't guilt JD to invite me anywhere but I DID invite him to a show! The same one I went to! With him!

Bronco: Read more 'classic’ books. I didn’t read many of them, even in school (especially in school? Never could read a book I was told to read). But I’m leaning in the sci-fi direction of 'classics’. I just read Dune this summer, and wrapped up Fahrenheit 451 the other day. I’m feeling an unexplained need to beef up my nerd credentials and this seems the way to accomplish it. How It Went: Nope.  Fell back in to zombie-apocalypse genre series that I've been reading for a while. But I am currently reading arch-nerd Neal Stephenson's "Fall; or, Dodge in Hell". It's almost 900 pages, I feel like I've been reading for months now, and because I'm a stupidly slow reader, I read only before going to bed, and can only make it 10 minutes before falling asleep and hitting myself in the face with my phone, I'm only 25% of the way through. But man is it painting a creepy yet eerily plausible scene of the near future. Guy just knows how to write.

Nasty: Hope last year I was smart enough to leave this blank. (editor’s note: [removes shoes, pets cat, puts on slippers, retires to favorite easy chair, sips martini, slowly pulls reading glasses out of cardigan pocket, dusts them off, loads todaysbiggesthits.tumblr.com, scrolls to ‘Resolution for 2019’] “Nasty: I’m sticking with it - get to NY for a show with JD.”)

Resolution for 2020

BC: See Phish in 2020

Codem: i'm making it easier this year. catch ovlov, washer, EMA and colleen green live this year. bonus points: see dom's much anticipated return to the stage.

Bronco: Build a vinyl collection. I know I dumped on Brendon for suggesting he press copies of Carpet Affair, but my kid's getting way into music and listening to it on his own (via Alexa in my bedroom which is super fucking annoying), so we're getting him his own record player and I think it's going to be a cool activity to go record store diving for whatever classics we can scrounge up.

JD: Get to more shows. Take more aimless strolls spinning tunes.

Bin: Send an email about music on the TBH! thread. 

Larse: None

Chap: Eh I'm cool

Most Anticipated of 2020

Code: my man dom said that he is coming back to the world this year. i have to believe that he'll keep his word. i'm thinking 2020 is going to be the year for chromatics' Tommy.

Chap: TWOD, Perfume Genius, Jason Isbell

BC: Huey Lewis and the News, Tame Impala, Run the Jewels

Bronco: Kvelertak and Mastodon, maybe some surprise extra Tool material?

JD: Working Men’s Club

Nasty: Spotify getting Jay-Z's catalog back. 

[toldnews-blog]

New Post has been published on https://toldnews.com/world/united-states-of-america/joe-biden-n-f-l-draft-avengers-endgame-your-friday-briefing/

Joe Biden, N.F.L. Draft, ‘Avengers: Endgame’: Your Friday Briefing

Sri Lanka’s leader blames security officials

President Maithripala Sirisena said today that he had not been warned of terrorist threats and that Sri Lanka’s security apparatus would be undergoing a “total reorganization.” Mr. Sirisena, who is also the defense minister, has faced intense criticism since the suicide bombings across the country on Sunday.

Adding to questions about the government’s competence, on Thursday the Sri Lankan authorities vastly revised the death toll from the attacks, saying that about 250 people had been killed, not 359.

Another angle: The Islamic State has claimed responsibility for the attacks, offering a reminder that it doesn’t need to control territory to be a threat.

Closer look: Zaharan Hashim, a radical Muslim preacher accused of leading the attacks, had spewed violent rhetoric for years. Many in Sri Lanka dismissed him.

Seeking deals on trade

President Trump and Prime Minister Shinzo Abe of Japan are to meet in Washington today to discuss a bilateral trade deal that could give American farmers greater access to Japan and forestall tariffs on Japanese cars.

Japan initially insisted that the U.S. return to the 12-nation Trans-Pacific Partnership, which Mr. Trump abandoned two years ago. But concerns about North Korea and China have helped restart negotiations.

Yesterday: Mr. Trump said that China’s president, Xi Jinping, would visit the White House soon, fueling anticipation of a trade deal.

Anita Hill isn’t satisfied by Joe Biden’s regret

On Thursday, the day Mr. Biden announced his run for the White House, his campaign revealed that he had recently called Ms. Hill to share “his regret for what she endured” 28 years ago after she accused Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment during his Supreme Court confirmation hearings.

Mr. Biden, then a senator from Delaware, presided over the hearings as chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee. Ms. Hill and others have faulted him for refusing to seriously investigate her accusations or to take public testimony from other potential witnesses.

Ms. Hill is now a professor at Brandeis University. In an interview with The Times, she said she didn’t consider Mr. Biden’s call an apology. “I cannot be satisfied by simply saying, ‘I’m sorry for what happened to you,’” she said. “I will be satisfied when I know there is real change and real accountability and real purpose.”

Closer look: Mr. Biden’s entry into the sprawling Democratic field immediately reshaped the race, but he faces deep skepticism. Here are five questions confronting his campaign.

San Francisco learns a hard lesson on integration

For decades, the mantra in education has been that ZIP code shouldn’t determine school quality. Few cities have pushed harder to make that ideal a reality than San Francisco.

The city lets parents apply to any elementary school in the district, having done away with traditional school zoning in an effort to desegregate classrooms. But what was once seen as a national model hasn’t worked as intended.

Quotable: “Our current system is broken,” said Stevon Cook, president of the district Board of Education, which, late last year, passed a resolution to overhaul the process. “We’ve inadvertently made the schools more segregated.”

If you have 23 minutes, this is worth it

Australia goes to war on feral cats

Feral cats are formally deemed an invasive pest in Australia, and they are driving the country’s native species to extinction — particularly threatened rodents and marsupials.

The government’s response has been to try to kill two million cats by 2020. Methods include dropping poisoned sausages from planes.

Here’s what else is happening

Invalid voting maps: A panel of federal judges ruled on Thursday that 34 districts in Michigan are extreme partisan gerrymanders and unconstitutional.

Abortion rule is blocked: A federal judge has issued a nationwide injunction temporarily blocking a Trump administration rule that would bar organizations that provide abortion referrals from receiving federal family planning money.

New cyclone hits Africa: The storm, Cyclone Kenneth, has made landfall in Mozambique and other countries, just over a month after Cyclone Idai killed more than 1,000 people and displaced millions in the region.

L train slowdown: Starting tonight, the line’s tunnel between Brooklyn and Manhattan is partly closing on nights and weekends. Here’s what to expect.

Bill for captive: North Korea demanded $2 million for the medical care of Otto Warmbier, an American student who fell into a coma while being detained and died days after his release. It’s unclear whether the Trump administration complied.

Uber’s I.P.O.: The ride-hailing company is said to be planning to price its shares at $44 to $50 for an initial public offering next month, valuing itself at as much as $90 billion. That would make it the most valuable of its generation of tech start-ups.

In memoriam: John Havlicek, one of the greatest clutch stars in N.B.A. history, won eight championships with the Boston Celtics in the 1960s and ’70s. He died on Thursday at 79.

News quiz: Did you follow the headlines this week? Test yourself.

Modern Love: In this week’s column, a man reassesses what he wants after two girlfriends broke up with him by coming out.

Late-night comedy: The hosts had fun with Joe Biden’s campaign announcement. Trevor Noah was incredulous that Mr. Biden’s run in 1988 was cut short by an accusation of plagiarism: “That was a scandal?”

What we’re reading: This article in Mosaic from 2016. Anna Holland, an editor in London, writes: “This piece on suicide rates among young people in Northern Ireland is how I first learned of Lyra McKee, who dedicated her journalism career to covering the lasting trauma of the Troubles. She was killed last week doing just that, at only 29.”

Now, a break from the news

Read: Four memoirs and one near-memoir are among 11 new books we recommend.

Go: (Or maybe don’t.) “Beetlejuice,” a musical adaptation of the 1988 Tim Burton film, has opened on Broadway. It’s “absolutely exhausting,” our theater critic writes.

Smarter Living: Not all plastic is created equal. Ever notice those recycling symbols with the numbers inside? The numbers identify the type of plastic you’re looking at, and depending on where you live, they may indicate that it isn’t recyclable.

And here are kitchen tools to help you minimize food waste and maximize savings.

And now for the Back Story on …

The bard of the comments section

April is National Poetry Month. So we thought we’d look at a different kind of poet: Larry Eisenberg, a prolific commenter on nytimes.com who posted in verse, mostly limericks.

He turned a decade of news into poetry, from the doings of President Barack Obama and President Trump to sports to TV reviews. In 2011, he took on the topic of social media:

Was there no Life before there was Twitter? Was it stodgy, lackluster or bitter? I find Life too fleeting To spend time in Tweeting, I’m a face-to-face kind of a critter!

That’s it for this briefing. See you next time.

— Chris

Thank you To Mark Josephson, Eleanor Stanford and Kenneth R. Rosen for the break from the news. Remy Tumin, on the Briefings team, wrote today’s Back Story. You can reach the team at briefing@nytimes.com.

P.S. • We’re listening to “The Daily.” Today’s episode is about the measles outbreak. • Here’s today’s mini crossword puzzle, and a clue: Vehicle for a luger (4 letters). You can find all our puzzles here. • Like many offices across the U.S., The Times took part in Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day. The kids got to make a cookbook, a podcast and a crossword; learned about journalism; got temporary tattoos and more. Some employees shared evidence on Twitter.