#also he mentioned something about dumping a body using ocean currents earlier

[momointhetardis]

so my oceanography prof gave us a discussion on climate change to do...it is my fuckin time to shine...

[sokkascroptop]

traitor. (sokka x f!reader) pt 26

part 1 | part 25

a/n: no matter how long you have been here, just know i'm extremely grateful for anyone who's read this fic. now here's the latest chapter.

Sometimes it felt like the days dragged on. Each and every hour was laid out just like the day before–the week before. It made time seem endless, even though Y/N knew it definitely was not. Sozin’s Comet was getting closer and closer each day. Y/N didn’t know if it was the anticipation for that long fated day or if it was some buried fire bender gene in her body, warning her of something to come. She could feel it deep within her bones. She woke up earlier and earlier each day, no matter how late her night ended up. And each day the sun greeted her with warm yellow light that made the air a little easier to breathe.

As they moved further south and into Fire Nation territory, Zuko made mention of Ember Island as a place to hide out. The island–or chain of islands, really–were close enough to Caldera City that it would be a good place for them to lay low and wait, as well as uninhabited by enough people that they could lay low.

Y/N thought it was a little risky to be living in the Fire Lord’s Ember Island house, but Zuko was probably right, this was going to be the last place anyone would look for them. Maybe Y/N was just unsettled about being back, so close to Caldera City, or maybe it was being back on Ember Island for the first time since she was 9.

Somewhere between the temple and the beach house, Y/N tired of training. It just added to the monotony, and so she just…stopped. Instead, she spent her days on the beach, sometimes alone–often with the others though–playing in the tide pools and skim-boarding on the sand. And sometimes, if she felt like she didn’t have enough time on her own to recharge, she’d leave in the night, either through her window or the front door to take a walk on the beach in the moonlight. Only to come back and wake up a few hours later, ready for sunrise.

Today was no different, though the sun was already peeking over the horizon and into her room when her eyes peeled open.

The wooden floors creaked under Y/N’s feet as she crept out of her room silently.

Each board was smooth under her bare toes, not well-worn by many little feet running across them year after year but made that way before they were even built into the house, for no doubt a hefty fee. The beach house was… cold, to say the least. It just felt like each pore of the house seeped something uninviting, reminding them that they shouldn’t be there. It wasn’t just Y/N who felt it, they all spent as little time as possible in the house.

She padded into the kitchen and struck their flint to start a fire under the stove–mostly unneeded since Zuko had joined their group–but wholly necessary when he wasn’t around to be their fire-starter. Y/N didn’t mind doing it this way, it felt nice being able to do something with her own hands for once instead of relying on the others to make clean water or heat up the food. She boiled just enough water for one cup of tea before heading out to the courtyard where she knew at least two of her friends would be awake.

Y/N didn’t like feeling optimistic. It was a terrifying feeling. There was so much riding on their success; she didn’t want to spend so much energy on hoping only to have it all dashed away if things didn’t go their way. It would be too heartbreaking. But watching Aang, she could. They weren’t even sparring and she could see the power behind every blast of fire. And she had hope for their future. She had to; she wasn’t going to lose her friends.

“You’re doing that one wrong,” Y/N said from the shadows on the porch. She held her warm cup to her chest, the breeze blowing in from the ocean was keeping the courtyard chilly until the sun could rise high enough to heat the island.

Aang didn’t seem too surprised to hear her voice. “Doing what wrong?” He asked, confused.

Zuko frowned up at Y/N from his seat on the steps but nodded to Aang. “She’s right, you have to dip further down so when you come up the fire creates more of an arc.”

Aang pushed through a few more poses before Zuko stood up and joined him. Y/N stole his seat and pulled her legs up to cross them. She watched as they moved in tandem, working though the most basic of firebending forms all the way up to a few advanced ones. Memories flooded Y/N’s head so fast it made her dizzy. She remembered sitting just like she was now, watching her two brothers work through their forms when she was younger. On chilly mornings, much like today, she would wrap herself in a blanket nest and sip on tea that was much too sweet as they worked well into mid morning. In a sudden rush of affection she realized she was doing much of the same thing, just years and years later.

Aang had learned fast. That was good. She set down her empty cup as the two boys headed back to her, both sweaty from their training. “Good job, Aang! You’re doing great!”

Aang beamed with pride. “Thanks, Y/N!

“Don’t be so encouraging, he’s still got a lot to learn,” Zuko grumbled, taking a seat on the ground next to her.

Y/N pouted. “He needs encouragement. That’s how he learns.” Y/N learned that from watching the differences between Katara teaching styles and Toph’s teaching styles.

“Speaking of firebending,” Aang kicked his feet against the edge of the steps and looked around like he was avoiding something. “How did you know about the firebending forms?”

Zuko leaned back on his hands. “I’d like to know that too.”

Y/N smiled softly. “I watched my brothers for years, religiously learning all the forms and practicing them on my own. I wanted to be just like them. I guess I still remember them.”

Aang frowned. “It’s not like you couldn’t bend on purpose.”

Y/N was surprised to see Aang look so sad. “I know.” She shrugged and looked away feeling her cheeks redden with both boys staring at her. “I just wanted to be normal so people would stop paying attention to me for the wrong reasons.” She mumbled.

“It made you a better sword fighter,” Zuko said suddenly.

“What?” Y/N asked.

“The discipline and movements. You do the same when you’re fighting.”

“I’ve never noticed, but you’re right, Zuko!” Aang exclaimed.

The thought made Y/N smile. “That was nice of you.”

Zuko rolled his eyes but let the smallest hint of a smile grace his lips.

She looked back to Aang, who still looked a bit hesitant. “Don’t worry about me. How about we go swimming? Before the others wake up!”

Aang perked up immediately. “That sounds great! Let’s go, Zuko!”

Y/N and Aang stood, both looking down at Zuko, who just stared at the ground between his feet. She could already hear him saying no, telling them that he needed to train more or meditate and didn’t have time to run off and play games.

Y/N opened her mouth to tell Aang that the two of them could still go but Zuko spoke up before her. “Yeah, okay.”

Sometimes even on those long, dragging days, it was the little things that made everything better; like playing in the surf with two of your friends.

---

That evening though, Y/N was back where she had started the day, and had decided that everyone in her group of friends, save for maybe Zuko, talked way too much. She craved those moments alone where she just had her thoughts to occupy her. Especially when she had a lot on her mind.

Y/N didn’t want to admit she felt stuck inside with Aang and Katara while everyone else was outside enjoying the evening, but she also felt guilty in turning down their request to help make dinner to just wander around on the beach until sunset. She didn’t help out much with making meals, and she felt obligated to help when she could.

So she was there, sitting on the dinner table, lotus style with a knife and a cutting board and a basket of carrots in need of chopping at her side.

“What else can I do, Katara?” Aang dumped some of the vegetables he was cutting into the stew Katara was currently stirring over the stove.

“Hmm, can you go out and get some more water to make the rice?” Aang grinned and nodded, before running out of the house towards the side of the house where there was a small barrel of collected water.

Y/N smiled to herself at the interaction and continued cutting carrots for Katara, trying not to let her mind wander, but it was hard with the monotonous work and the bad spot she was sitting in.

Just in front of her was the window where she had watched Zuko and Aang train while she made tea that morning, now it showed Zuko and Sokka doing their own training.

Y/N was struggling with more than just feeling like she didn’t belong on the Island. She didn’t know what she was going to say to Sokka, or if she was even going to say anything about her feelings at all. Without the constant traveling and the safety of a hideout, she was able to just stop and let those feelings and thoughts she had been holding back with a dam of fear wash over her.

It was all really confusing for Y/N. And hard to admit.

She didn’t want to face the awkward conversation of asking whether he could always be there for her. She didn’t want to beg him to never leave because she was so insecure. She was so afraid of losing everything and everyone that she was going to do just that because she was afraid of opening up.

What would happen if she never told Sokka she loved him back? Did she even love him back? What did love feel like?

Love with Azula felt like fire, sometimes it burned painfully, but in the good times it filled her with a warmth like never before. Zuko’s friendship felt the same, but it was less like sitting too close to the fire and more like sitting just in the right place where it didn’t dry out your eyes but didn’t make goosebumps grow on your arms. Sokka always felt like a cool breeze, one where you lift your face up to the sky and smile because it always feels like relief. But that’s not what Y/N is used to. How does she know if it’s love if it doesn’t hurt a little bit? How does she know that it's real if she doesn’t have to give all of herself until she is worn to nothing to make it work?

It wasn’t that she was afraid to care for him, she had made it clear that she did. It was just easier on her heart to keep him at a distance for now until she figured they were inevitably part ways. That’s how Y/N saw this all ending. Separated across oceans, back to where they came from, whatever the outcome of the war. Y/N wanted to dream of the possibilities and opportunities where they could be together in the long run, but those were just that, dreams for another lifetime. People from the Water Tribe didn’t marry people from the Fire Nation.

Everything that she learned over the last few months was that nothing was ever set in stone, so why should she and Sokka be.

Y/N stared out the window, pondering when it would all fall apart and sliced downwards on a carrot, but met nothing but the cutting board. She looked down where the knife was closer to her finger than to the carrots. She let out a little inward gasp.

“What?” Katara turned around and asked.

Y/N’s eyes widened. “Nothing.” She motioned to the cutting board. “Do you want these smaller?”

Katara eyed Y/N and then looked to the cutting board. “They’re fine. But pay more attention, I don’t know how to reattach fingers yet.”

“Yeah, definitely.”

Y/N’s eyes didn’t leave the wooden cutting board and her fingers until the others came bustling into the kitchen, all talking at once.

Y/N for the most part ignored everyone, until Sokka reached over and snatched one of the slices of carrots.

Y/N nudged his arm. “Can you wait?! I thought you didn’t like vegetables!”

“Aang got me to like carrots!” Sokka retorted, before quickly reaching around Y/N to grab another and popping it into his mouth.

“Why would you be sitting on the table that we have to eat off of?” Suki wrinkled her nose.

“Uh! Katara said I could!” Y/N stuck her tongue out.

Katara whipped around, hands on her hips. “I never said you could, I just didn’t say you couldn’t.” Katara turned back to stirring the stew before muttering under her breath, “Not like telling you no would have made a difference anyways.”

“Hey!” Y/N picked up a carrot and launched it at the back of Katara’s head.

Aang walked back inside carrying a bucket of water, to a kitchen full of chaos. Vegetables were being thrown across the room at one another, as laughter rang out. Sokka, Zuko and Y/N were sprawled on one side of the kitchen behind and under the table; with Suki, Katara and Toph only edging from behind the safety of the kitchen doorway to throw something.

For the first time in a long time, Y/N could hear the exasperation of a 112 year old monk in Aang’s usually cheerful voice.“Uh, guys, what are we supposed to eat for dinner now?”

---

Y/N was dozing against the headboard of her bed that night, when she heard the knock at her door. At first she thought she imagined it, that is until she heard a voice on the other side of the doorway. “Y/N, are you awake?”

Y/N slid out of bed and cracked open the door. She smiled and leaned against the doorjamb, a familiar feeling in her chest.

“Are you afraid that there are ghosts here too?”

Sokka grinned and nodded. “In this house? Absolutely. But I’m not here for that.”

“Oh?” Y/N raised an eyebrow.

“Come outside with me.”

Y/N chuckled. “Why?”

“Please, just come on. No questions.”

Y/N sighed and reached for an old silk robe she found in one of the closets, but her smile never left her face.

To be fair to Sokka, there wasn’t much to surprise Y/N with on an island she grew up on. But that night, the sky momentarily took her breath away.

Sometimes the simplest things were the most beautiful.

“I thought we could come out here; look at the stars a bit. I used to like doing that at home. Though it’s different. The constellations aren’t the same where I’m from.”

“I guess I’ll just have to teach you some.”

Together they laid side by side on the roof, and Y/N pointed out her favorites. The dragon, the jack-rabbit...

After Y/N had told Sokka the story of the Red Queen, some ancient fable of a powerful Fire Lady that was always one of Y/N’s favorites, they both grew quiet, Y/N asked the question that had been brewing on her mind. She worried that whatever she said would mess up the peaceful night they had been having. It felt like she was intruding on a secret that she wasn’t supposed to know.

“Hey, Sokka,” Y/N asked.

“Hmmm,” She looked over and Sokka looked about half asleep already. Maybe this would be good timing.

“Who’s Yue?”

Sokka’s eyes shot open and he sat up quickly. “What?”

Y/N could feel her face flush. Maybe she wasn’t supposed to know.

“Yue.” The word sounded flat and foreign on her tongue. Maybe that wasn’t how you actually pronounced it? Some of the Water Tribe names and words were hard for Y/N’s mouth to form. If she could, she flushed deeper. “I heard you talking about them when I was hurt. I was in and out of it, so I don’t remember much, but I remember the name.”

Sokka suddenly looked very sad. Which was… odd because Y/N just thought that Yue was a Water Tribe spirit much like the Fire Nation had Agni.

“She’s the moon spirit,” Sokka whispered, his eyes cast down on his wringing hands.

Y/N eyes were wide. Why was he acting like this? “Oh. I figured she was a spirit or something. It sounded like you were praying to her, or something.”

“Yeah,” Sokka choked out. “Something like that.”

That’s when Y/N noticed there were drips of water on Sokka’s hands. Tears.

“Sokka?” Y/N said softly. She reached forward and–yup those were tears, dripping on their hands.

“She was a girl I met at the Northern Water Tribe when we first started traveling.”

“I thought she was…”

“She is.” For the first time, Sokka looked up. The pain in his eyes was unimaginable. “But she was still a girl when I met her.”

Sokka launched into a story that sounded more fantasy than real, but the look on his face, the sadness in his features, Y/N knew he was telling the truth.

“She was blessed by the moon spirit when she was born, it was the only reason she was alive. But when we were in the Northern Water Tribe—Zhao, a Fire Nation commander killed the moon spirit and all the water benders lost their bending, forever.” Sokka shivered. “It was scary, the moon was gone in the sky and we were helpless to fight the Fire Nation. It would have changed the tide of the war.

But she was selfless. She knew that she was the only hope for her tribe—for the world—and she sacrificed herself to save all of us. So now she’s the moon spirit…I guess. I don’t know, she’ll always be Yue to me.” Sokka’s voice trailed off with a sniffle. Y/N didn’t know how to respond.

Sokka sent a longing glance upward. The moon was just past full, waning in the far distance but still bright and round in the sky. “I think–I think she heard me that night. And she knew how much you meant to me, even then. And she saved you because…” Now it was Sokka’s turn to flush. “I don’t think I could live without you.”

Those words made Y/N’s chest burn. Her arms and legs tingled in relief as if all the tension in her body began to melt away. Y/N reached out, wiping a stray tear off of Sokka’s cheek. “Me either,” she replied instantly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“’m not. Sad, really. I miss her, but it’s easier to always know where she is. She didn’t have a lot of choice in her life, but this was something she had control over. If she hadn’t become the moon spirit, the war would have ended right there. So her sacrifice meant that, you know, Zuko is our friend now and Aang has a chance at beating the Firelord and you have a place in all our lives. She made all of this possible.”

“Sounds like we have a lot more to be thankful to her for than just saving little old me then, huh?”

“You would have liked her.”

Y/N nodded and peered at the moon above them. “I do like her.”

No one else needed to know that after the two of them went inside and off to bed, that Y/N hung halfway out her window to get one last look at the moon. Y/N swore as her eyes closed and sleep overtook her that the moon shone a little brighter. Maybe that’s how the moon said thank you. Y/N’d never tell anyone that she whispered a small thank you too, to the girl who lived among the stars.

a/n: don't be shy, come talk to me in my askbox and tell me if you liked it

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[rutilation]

hi I have some theories about the Problematic Rock

In my essay for chapter 82, I said that I had settled on a theory of What The Deal Is With Cairngorm.  My thoughts on the subject are a bit all over the place, so in the hope of presenting things in a coherent manner, I’ve laid out my thought process from the past eleven months or so in roughly chronological order, beginning with the nitpick that started it all.  Welcome to my twisted mind, and all that.

For the most part, the way the series applies fantasy concepts to actual geology has been fairly sound.  For example, tourmaline generates an electric charge when heated, so Melon radiates electricity when upset.  Cinnabar the rock often comes out of the ground covered in native mercury, so Cinnabar the character is surrounded by magical floating mercury.  Alexandrite turns red or purple in incandescent light, so the light the Lunarians give off changes Alex’s color and gives them a mood swing to boot.  It’s exaggerated and fantastical, but it’s nonetheless grounded in some nugget of geology trivia which one might find on the back of a Snapple cap.  But, Ghost and Cairn’s condition in the story does not line up with how phantom crystals work, even within the science-fantasy framework we’ve got going here.  At first, I just filed it away next to other inaccuracies such as Antarc shouldn’t be able to trudge through snow without dissolving in a puddle of their own brine, much less dive into the ocean unscathed.  However, if my theory(s) is correct, then this apparent lapse in the internal logic of the story might have in fact been deliberate foreshadowing.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.

First, some context. Phantom crystals form by way of two distinct but related processes:

During a crystal’s formation out of a solution, its growth is temporarily halted for one of any number of reasons.  During this time, dust falls onto the surface of the crystal.  As the crystal begins growing again, these tiny debris become trapped within, and if the rest of the crystal is sufficiently transparent, the included material appears from the outside as the outline of a crystal within a crystal.

The other process to which this term applies involves color zoning, and is a bit easier to explain.  During a crystal’s formation, the chemicals that make up the solution change slightly, and these impurities cause one part of the crystal to become a different color from another part.  If the color zoning is concentric, and the different colors in question are visible from outside the crystal, it can be labeled a phantom crystal.  Ghost and Cairn appear to be this second type.

So here’s what I’m getting at: a phantom crystal is not two separate crystals, in much the same way that the rings in a tree trunk aren’t a bunch of separate trees.  Therefore, it doesn’t make sense for Ghost and Cairngorm to be two separate people, and if they are actually intended to be examples of this phenomenon, it raises some questions.  For one thing, watermelon tourmaline forms via the exact same process of concentric color zoning I described in example number two; since you usually can’t see the pinkish part from outside of the green layer of crystal, it’s not often labeled a phantom crystal, but it’s the same phenomenon nonetheless.  So, why is it that Cairn and Ghost are two different people, but the green and red parts of Melon aren’t?  For that matter, why aren’t the two halves of Euclase two separate people? There’s certainly more of colorless-Euclase than there is of Ghost.  If mere color zoning were enough, then why are Ghost and Cairn the only examples of highly-conjoined-twins amongst the cast?  Unless of course, we weren’t given an accurate picture of how these two came to be, and there’s something fishy going on.

Of course, whether or not this little contradiction is actually meaningful wholly depends on if Ichikawa was even aware of the distinction as she was writing.  As I recall she once said in an interview that she wasn’t very familiar with geology in the first place before she started writing hnk.  But, like I said at the beginning of this essay, this is what got me started down the rabbit hole.  From this observation arose two different trains of thought.   One came to me pretty quickly, but the other took a few months to materialize.

The first idea that popped into my head when I realized that this inaccuracy could have been deliberate was that Ghost and Cairngorm might not be separate people, and there was some split-personality shenanigans going on.  I’ll quickly list the things I think this theory has going for it with some bullet points.

Remember that one time, when Cairngorm referred to Ghost as their “former self?”  And that other time, in the official translation of volume 6, when they referred to Ghost as their “other half?”  That is rather curious terminology for referring to one’s sibling.

That one time in chapter 39, where Cairn repeated Ghost’s sentiment about being “tired of praying” verbatim, and the composition of the panels seemingly called attention to it.

It would serve to explain a certain contradiction in Cairn’s personality: despite their aggressive—and at times violent—demeanor, they nonetheless act like a total doormat in all the ways that really matter.  They live their life according to someone else’s wishes, they’re quick to pass off decision making to others, and they fold under pressure pretty easily.  What if Cairngorm is, in fact, Ghost’s idea of what being assertive is like, without any understanding of what it means to actually be independent or confident? 

A common critique of the story is that Ghost’s character was rather perfunctory, and their death felt like a second-rate retread of Antarc’s fate.  Well, if Cairn and Ghost are the same person, then they weren’t actually unceremoniously dropped from the story after all.  Come to think of it, right before they were supposedly taken, Ghost said they wanted to change; what if they actually did?

As many of you have noticed, Ghost is one of the few characters who isn’t ProblematiqueTM .  Doubtlessly, Ichikawa now regrets killing them off before they could do something kinda nasty.  Even Antarc got the chance to cluelessly trample over Phos’s self-esteem before getting turned into road salt.  But, if it were revealed that Ghost was actually the same character as creamed corn, then Ichikawa could drag their good name through the mud with one fell swoop.  (I’m just trying to think from her perspective, guys!  Her cruel, sadistic perspective…)

But ultimately, when I got around to wondering why on earth they would have a split personality in the first place, I found that this line of inquiry raised more questions than answers.  Unlike my second theory, which mostly just raises answers.

(I know I just dumped a big tinfoil hat at my readers’ feet like a cat gifting its owner a decapitated bird, but please keep bearing with me, I’m not even halfway done.)

The idea that I’ve found to be the most fruitful came in the weeks following chapter 75.  I’ve brought up this line from Aechmea multiple times (probably to the point of redundancy,) because it’s the biggest hint we’ve gotten so far that there’s some Cairn-related context we’re not yet privy to.  And the more the narrative keeps reminding us of it—usually by way of Cairngorm bringing it up with varying levels of anxiety—the more it seems to be alluding to something important.  So I got to thinking that whatever my little plot twist was, it would have to account for Aechmea’s cryptic bullshit.  I put forward a couple preliminary ideas in my essay for chapter 75, but I’ve since discarded those in favor of my second theory.

So, somehow Aechmea knew Cairngorm before they came to the moon, and neither Cairngorm, (nor Ghost for that matter,) remembers meeting him.  When I tried to think of how this could be possible, while also keeping in mind my little bugbear about phantom crystals, I developed a theory that’s much more pedestrian by the standards of the hnk fandom.  I am of course, talking about the mysterious artificial gem experiments that the Lunarians conducted.  That sure is a plot element which has been left dangling, huh?  And since no one, least of all myself, believes Stinkmea when he claims that the experiments were a complete failure, it has been a favored pastime of people who write walls of text to speculate on who amongst the cast might have been planted on earth by the Lunarians; e.g. Obsidian, Antarc, new Morga and Goshe… I imagine someone at some point has even postulated that Phos themselves is from the moon.  But, if you pay close attention to how Aechmea, and later, Barbata describe the process by which they attempted to create artificial gems, it lines up strikingly well with what we know about Ghost and Cairngorm, and it also serves to explain the geological inaccuracy I was talking about earlier.

Aechmea describes how the Lunarians tried to create their own gems by grafting pieces of gems they had captured from earth onto artificial bodies, and that they were dumped on earth before being retrieved after they showed no signs of life.  Barbata also mentions it later, in more oblique terms.  He’s speaking vaguely, but his warning to Phos feels a bit odd in its specificity. The use of the phrase “emotionally delicate” also raises my eyebrows a bit.  I may be reading too much into this, but I feel that his hypothetical example is less hypothetical than he’s letting on.  Perhaps, he is in fact referring to a certain someone in particular, who is emotionally fragile, and subsequently lost their sense of self after being subjected to this experiment.  Hmmm…

So here’s what I think went down: once upon a time, probably before the current generation of gems had been born, there was a gem on earth who was just plain old colorless Quartz. I’m going to call them OG!Quartz.  One day, OG!Quartz is captured by the Lunarians, and Aechmea uses them for his little gem experiment, probably with Barbata being the one to carry it out.  He shaves off the outermost layer of OG!Quartz and discards the rest of them. Then, he grafts those pieces onto an artificial body made of black Quartz.  The inclusions from OG!Quartz permeate into the artificial material, and thus Cairngorm is born.  The Lunarians subsequently dump them on earth, at which point Kongou, who may or may not realize what’s going on, picks them up and names them Ghost Quartz, despite the fact that they didn’t come about via that process.

This would explain a lot of things.  If so little of OG!Quartz was used to make Ghost Quartz, they would likely be unable to remember their previous life, or the ensuing events on the moon, for that matter.  And since Cairngorm would be a newborn at the time, they wouldn’t be able to remember Aechmea either, thus solving the riddle of how Aechmea knew Cairngorm before they came the moon.

It would also clue us in to what Aechmea meant by love, why he was quick to swoop in and take advantage of Cairn, and why he kept Cairn’s original arm around.  If they were the one success after a series of failed experiments, it’s possible that Aechmea feels a sense of ownership over Cairn, as if they’re his accomplishment.  (Yikes.)

It would also explain another thing that has stuck in mind.  The way Ghost was taken was kind of weird, wasn’t it?  At the time, the Lunarians were being oddly particular about nabbing Ghost instead of Cairn.  Usually, the Lunarians try to shatter the gems and be done with it, not shave a bunch of little pieces off the outside.  Furthermore, Cairngorm was thoroughly wrecked by the end of that fight.  The Lunarians could have easily grabbed them both and gotten away before help could arrive, but instead, they pushed Cairn off of the vessel and only took Ghost.  If we assume though that Ghost and Cairn are the result of one of those gem experiments, the Lunarians actions during that battle start to make sense.  Perhaps the Lunarians wanted to see if Cairngorm was alive in their own right, or if the pieces of Ghost were just dragging the rest of the body around.  They wouldn’t be able to tell the difference from their distant vantage point.  So, they nabbed Ghost and intentionally left Cairn behind in order to further observe their experiment.  

(I should point out that when I say “the Lunarians,” assume I’m referring to Aechmea, Barbata, and perhaps a handful of other unnamed extras.  Aechmea probably doles out knowledge of his obtuse schemes on a need-to-know basis, and I doubt people like Cicada, or Quieta, or Goshe’s gnarly skater friends know anything about this.)

Going back to this page, Cairn’s expression has stuck in my mind.  They’re trembling, and have a fearful look on their face.  By all accounts, even if what Aechmea just said was confusing, it should still be something Cairn would be happy to hear.  But their immediate reaction is one of understated horror.  It’s almost as if they intuited that there was something very wrong with that statement, even if they can’t put their finger on why. This leads us into another question that’s been on my mind which this theory might serve to explain.

In my very first essay about Caringorm, I ran into a bit of a wall when trying to figure out why Cairngorm’s personality is the way it is.  I figured at the time that Cairngorm’s issues arose from having no agency for most of their life, and that their relationship with Ghost was perhaps much less amicable than we were lead to believe.  And while it’s hard to argue that being a prisoner in their own body for most of their life hasn’t messed them up, I don’t think that’s the only thing going on here.  Furthermore, as far as Cairn’s relationship with Ghost was concerned, we haven’t heard anything about it since, which leads me to believe that it’s not where the trouble lies.  While I still stand by most of what I said in that essay—particularly about how Cairn’s dependency complex compels them to treat themselves as a vehicle for someone else’s desires—there’s a major aspect to all of this that I overlooked at the time.  During their brief tenure in the series, Ghost exhibited a lot of the same issues that Cairngorm does now.

The way they talked about living life following Lapis’s orders—as if they were Lapis’s lackey rather than their partner, the way they latched onto Phos so strongly after they showed them the barest hint of interest, their abysmal self-esteem… It all seems eerily similar to Cairn’s issues, even if it manifested in a more muted fashion.  So, why is it that Ghost exhibited some of Cairngorm’s maladaptive coping mechanisms, despite the fact that Cairn should have been the only one of the two who needed to develop them in the first place?

I haven’t exactly put too fine a point on it since I don’t live with the condition myself, and thus don’t want to risk putting my foot in my mouth, but I can’t really elucidate on this in a concise manner while dancing around the subject.  Ever since chapter 68, I’ve been looking at Cairngorm through the lens of borderline personality disorder.  Since they seem to check more and more boxes off the symptom list with each new chapter, I think it’s a useful lens through which to view them, whether or not it’s one that Ichikawa had in mind.  But, BPD generally arises from trauma, to the extent that many psychologists see it as an alternate manifestation of PTSD.  So, for the longest time, I’ve wondered how it was that Cairn and Ghost ended up the way they did.  There’s no clear answer in the narrative at this point.

This brings us to what Barbata alluded to, that the process of trying to create an artificial gem was damaging to the minds of the those who were subjected to it.  If Ghost and Cairn were (re)born as the result of something terrible, something that destroyed their sense of self, it might explain why they both have mental issues that are indicative of past trauma, despite those issues not having any obvious source.  The only other possible source of trauma I can come up with is that the relationship the two of them had with Lapis might have been an abusive one.  But if that were the case, then there should have been some buildup for it in the chapters following 67.  And while Lapis and Ghost have barely been mentioned in the interim, there’s been a whole lot of incremental reminders that Aechmea’s a shady bastard who’s hiding something from Cairn.  Where there’s smoke, there’s probably a fire.

Well, that’s about it.  Thanks for sticking with this to the end; hopefully, I didn’t make too many flagrant leaps in logic.  Ichikawa, if you would be so kind as to confirm my theories, and also let Phos peacefully live out the rest of their days with their snail friends, I would really appreciate it.  See you all in the essay for chapter 83.

[thisiswhatwereupagainst]

616 Donald Pierce Part Four: The Shadow King, the New Mutants, the Young X-Men, and whether he can pee

Pierce's first appearance in the 2000s is in the X-treme X-Men 2001 annual. It's a very minor role though. The main bad guy of this issue is the Shadow King, who, if you didn't know, is a disembodied psychic consciousness who needs to take posession of others in order to interact with the physical world. He picks Pierce for this, in order to use his Reavers to attack the X-Men, and because his primary target is Rogue, who he wants to corrupt into his Shadow Queen and gain access to all the stored powers she has, and being in the body of Pierce will make him immune to her touch since he's largely robotic. Pierce doesn't even get a speaking part, he's just a flesh suit for the Big Bad, but he does get to look hella creepy with the Shadow King starts warping his features while creeping on Rogue. After the Shadow King's defeat, Rogue dumps him at the cops. Not one of Pierce's greater moments. I mean, he's regularly a loser, but this is fucking exceptional even for him. I have a really perverse curiosity about how things would have been for Pierce if the Shadow King had retained posession of him. See, the Shadow King is addicted to eating. Any time he has prolonged posession of a host, they usually become hugely obese because of this. And...we see Pierce is able to eat, but like...would that work with him? Can a cyborg get fat? I guess it depends on what parts of him are still fleshy, and like I said, that tends vary WIDELY at different points and is pretty ambiguous. But, yeah, I wanna know. While his debut in the new millennium is minor, Pierce features pretty largely as the bad guy in the 2003-2004 New Mutants series. Guess what, he still REALLY HATE MUTANTS! Which...okay, not surprising. He's now out of jail and looking for new Reavers, and is holding a meeting of regular humans who just hate mutants and are interested in signing up with a gross hate group. He encourages them, of course, to become cyborgs too, claiming this is their best best to combat the super-powers of mutants. While I do think he wants these people to kill as many mutants as possible, I also think it's a “misery loves company” thing, but more on that in my upcoming section on his psyche. Anyway, he's kidnapped the father of Sofia Mantega, one of the new students at Xavier, in order to lure the X-Men into a trap. Karma and Danielle Moonstar (two of the original New Mutants, now grown to adulthood and teachers at the Xavier's School) arrive along with some of the kids to rescue him. During this, one of the recently recruited would-be Reavers, Josh Foley, discovered, ironically, that he himself was a mutant, a healer. He got to put his talents to good use when Pierce stabbed one of the mutant kids, Laurie Collins aka Wallflower. In retaliation for her apparent death, her classmate Wither, who had a death-touch ability, touched Pierce to kill him. And since Pierce started to deteriorate, I guess he does have organics left in him after all! Pierce reached out to Josh, begging him for help, because I guess mutants are okay if they can save your life when you need it, but Josh instead chose to heal Laurie. Moonstar, meanwhile, had to force Wither to let Pierce go by using her own abilities. Josh left the scene, not ready to join a “mutie” school, though he would join by the end of the issue and would become the student known as Elixir. As for Pierce, they left him in his pretty fucked-up state, with all his remaining flesh decayed right off his metal bones...but if there's one thing this guy is good at, it's recovering from a fucked up state!

Pierce was imprisoned in The Cage, a facility used to contain supervillains, where an energy field kept his cybernetics turned off except for life support, leaving him barely alive. And soon, it wouldn't be even “barely” anymore, as he was scheduled for the death penalty in a month. This is the first time we get to meet any family of Pierce, his nephew Justin, who visits him. So Pierce must have a brother or sister! Justin is an FBI agent with the Metahuman Crimes Division who tells him that if he testifies against Wither (who was being accused of other murders) then his sentence would be changed to life without parole. Pierce agreed, but with the additional condition that he be transferred to an American prison (The Cage is an international facility built on an island in the Pacific Ocean) While Pierce was being transferred to the JFK airport, he killed his FBI guards, but left Justin alive because “Unlike you, I value family” (he had earlier said that Justin wasn't a “real nephew” because if he was, he would have helped him escape The Cage) This is a really interesting thing coming from Pierce, because it's the only time he ever shows mercy or anything resembling any traits that AREN'T terrible. I wish we learned more about his family, since clearly they matter a lot to him. Pierce got back in contact with the Reavers, telling them they could now attack the “mutant enclave” aka the school, which was currently in a very vulnerable state (read: total shambles yet AGAIN) and that if they succeeded, they would prove themselves worthy of receving cyberneticenhancements like himself. They also brought Pierce some skin to get grafted back on his face. I really don't wanna know how they did that or where they got it. Since Pierce thanks them “for bringing me my skin back” maybe they just cloned it from some old tissue of his or something. That's the least awful option so I choose to go with it for my guess. Because seriously, the number of times this guy gets blown up or ripped apart or skinned or so on, I think he just must have a fucking stash of cloned flesh and organs somewhere to keep having anything human left to him at all, there's no other explanation. Long story short, he gets his ass handed to him. Moonstar bodyslams him. Cannonball blasts through his big knife arm thing. And Magma blasted his nice new skin off with some fireballs and we see that a cyborg can lose consciousness! ...I know even the biggest and baddest villains still lose nigh-every time, but Pierce just always seems to fail particularly hard. I think that's why he's endearing to me. Lots of people love trash villains, but I have a thing for trash LOSER villains in particular. Justin Pierce says the FBI will make sure that Pierce stays locked up for good this time but LOL OF COURSE THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN They don't even bother to explain how or when Pierce escaped this time, because at this point it really doesn't matter. All we know is that Pierce shows up in 2005 wanting to take over the Hellfire Club again and get revenge on Shaw, and he's built himself some new cybernetic mooks he calls The Cleansing Crew. And proving he hasn't learned shit, he's fucking dumb enough to attack Shaw, Tessa, Sunspot, Bishop, Storm, and Wolverine all at once. Admittedly, he does have some defenses against them---bullets designed to counteract Logan's healing factor, modifications that make him immune to Storm's lightning strikes, and blue laser claws to cut Shaw with in a way so he can't absorb the energy—but none of this saves him from SEBASTIAN SHAW PUNCHING HIS GODDAMN HEAD OFF THAT'S RIGHT, NOT ONLY DOES PIERCE LOSE HIS HEAD LITERALLY ONCE AGAIN, IT GOES BOUNCING ACROSS THE FREAKING PAVEMENT LIKE A BASKETBALL! Have I mentioned I love Sebastian Shaw? Because I love Sebastian Shaw. He is always 200% done with Pierce's bullshit and ready to do something awful to him, it's great. Seriously, if Pierce can't learn not to fuck with the X-Men, you think he'd at least learn not to fuck with Sebastian Shaw. In 2008 he shows up in the third series of X-Force. As with the X-treme X-men annual, this time he does not go after the X-Men by choice, but is a forced pawn for another baddy. Dude is just minding his own business getting his cybernetics updated in Prague because someone (he does not know who) has been chasing him across two continents and HE'S PRETTY SCARED. But they catch up with him and, at the point of several very large guns, tell him that “your presence has been requested.” I would like to add that Pierce is wearing a rather fetching brocade vest; yet more longing for his Hellfire Club days perhaps? Anyway, these people are The Purifiers, led by Bastion, and they are gathering up all the most famous and accomplished of mutant-haters.  What for? The hurt and kill mutants, of course! Now, I'm sure Pierce and the rest would very happily do this willingly, but Bastion nonetheless infected them all with the Technarch transmode virus...I guess I can see why. It puts them under his control just in case they get ideas about who's in charge, it grants them the very valuable power to nigh-instantly repair damage to themselves, and it also brought those among them who were dead, such as Stryker and Graydon Creed, back to life. Pierce, of course, wasn't happy about it, screaming  “You don't know who you're dealing with! I have friends in powerful places do you hear me?!” I'm sure you do, precious. And his apprehension proved to be correct, as apparently the process was rather painful. After this...reprogramming, if you will...Pierce is DEFINITELY wearing frilly Hellfire garb. I can only guess this is his choice since I don't think Bastion would give a shit about dressing him in it. We also learn the kill count for each of these bigots, and for Pierce it's 348. I'm not sure if that's by his own hands directly or includes those who died at the hands of his minions and hate groups as well. I think it might be an indirect count thing, because one of them, Bolivar Trask, inventor of the Sentinels, is credited with 16 thousand something kills, and I don't think he ever hurt a single mutant PERSONALLY himself. By the way, only Trask and Stryker have a higher count than Pierce in the group. X-Force storms the place, and many of the nameless human Purifiers are killed, but Pierce and the other Technarch-infected bigots don't get into the fighting, Wolverine just glimpses them while battling Bastion. I guess Bastion didn't want to risk damaging his new toys too soon, since when that happens he whisks them away in a bigass jet. They proceeded to begin to plan their plots about mutants. Plan their plots? Is that redundant? I guess I just should say “plan” or “plot” not both. Anyway! Pierce was tasked with going after young mutants, which seem to be his specialty—TV Tropes points out he's probably afraid of what adults will do to him. Which, between Shaw and Cable and the X-Men, he has good reason for. Cut to the first issue of Young X-Men, in which Cyclops assembles a team of Xavier's students to personally train:  Dust, Ink, Rockslide, and Wolf Cub, plus Blindfold because Rockslide wouldn't join without her. He takes them to subterranean ruins beneath the wreckage of the school, which he calls the Danger Cave, where he trains them to take down the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants...which, bizarrely, he claims are the adult New Mutants (Moonstar, Magma, etc) Surprise, it turns out that this “Cyclops” is actually Donald Pierce using an image inducer, trying to once again use child mutants to kill adults just like he did in the original New Mutants story! I kinda like that, haha. Both because it's win-win for Pierce no matter which side dies (since either way, mutants are killed) and because...like, he tried to use the New Mutants like this, now he's using the next generation against them the same way, it's a good low-key callback to their first confrontation. Naturally, Pierce is foiled, but one of the kids, Wolf Cub, dies at his hands. With his dying breath, he begs his enraged teammate Rockslide not to kill Pierce, because X-Men don't kill. During the fight, Pierce says he going to “use your skull as a latrine” to Rockslide and like...how? Does Pierce still pee? I guess if he still eats, he still excretes. These are the serious questions. And these are the IMAGES for this post! ETA: Two additional images from his fight with the Young X-Men!