#also he is staring at astarion entertaining raphael like .

[archivestarlyht]

initially had sol'rys's sexuality blanked while i figure it out, but i think he is bisexual. with a preference for strong personalities.....

[changeling-fae]

alone, desire, & guilt!

Thanks, definitely doing this for Nym. Going to put under the cut ‘cuz it’s dark. TW for past child abuse, implied past CSA, suicidal mentions, and drug abuse.

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

Oh boy, before the start of the game she was dealing with such loneliness and major depression that she had many suicidal ideations. That’s essentially what had her returning to the Devil’s Den to see Raphael so often.

After the woman she had feelings for got her own life together and met someone, Nym kept coming back to Raphael for lanceboard, wine, and philosophical discussions. She was seriously contemplating just letting him have her soul on the condition that he devour it so she doesn’t ever have to exist again.

Before she met him, she dealt with her loneliness through sex and ONS. She also did a lot of drugs to get high. Basically anything that would distract that gaping void inside her where she felt numb and in pain (both mental and physical).

She kept herself busy through her job as an entertainer or through the cult stuff with Bhaal. She just did what the cult wanted but at least it kept her distracted (and I headcanon the white dragonborn Durge also existed and was the leader at the time before she and Orin shanked him).

She’s felt and has been alone since her father’s death as a child. The man who bought her from the debt collector kept her hidden beneath his estate and she lived in a cell for 4 years in utter darkness before she escaped and was found by the cult.

If no one is around, she just gets high and stares into the middle distant for hours. Sometimes she’ll even cry before she pulls herself together and continues forward with whatever people want from her.

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire?Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

To not feel so dead inside, to stop feeling both numb and in constant agony of her existence. Before the events of the game, she really thought about just surrendering to Raphael (she was aware he wanted her soul, this is before he’s canonically obsessed with Tav/Durge though so was just viewing her like another client). Some part of her clung to life though, which is why she never went through it but also she hadn’t been back to see him after she and Gortash stole the crown through his home.

She never hid that desire around Raphael though and he was well aware that he just had to patient (initially). Fate had other plans though.

Now however, her desire is to live and to heal. She has kids to look after, she finds love with Astarion, and she has a new type of relationship with Raphael. She’s ready to move forward and start anew.

guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

She has major survivors guilt for one thing. Her father (her favorite person) had died protecting her. She also feels some guilt (though she buries it) over killing the kids of the man who held her captive. When she escaped, she was in a blood rage and murdered every soul in the estate, including his kids. She was still a kid herself (14) but it haunts her a bit.

She’s got a soft spot for kids and giving her Durge lifestyle, doesn’t feel good whenever kids get caught in the crossfire, or making kids into orphans. But that’s what drugs and compartmentalizing is for.

When she murders Quil in the game, she’s not entirely sure what happened and feels a measure of guilt there and tried to hide evidence of her involvement. She didn’t hide the body but she washed the blood off of herself and told the group (technically truthfully) that she didn’t see anything that night when they ask her if she was involved.

She’s very good at mental compartmentalization overall though.