#also he cries but i think that was established by rejet anyway BAHSHSH

[diaiisms]

even when you’re not around.

books were scattered across the floor, a once tidied up bedroom in complete shambles. bed coverings crumpled at its edge, pillows decorated with claw marks and scattered stuffing. the wood of his dresser and vanity were scratched to hell and back, in desperate need of replacements. The jewellery with which it once held littered across its surface.

and in the corner? a rather pathetic sight. hand covering his mouth, his unoccupied arm hugging across his own midsection. a grown man, who’d lived for more than his fair share of years, curled up into a ball and trembling as if he were a child.

his body ached— though whether it was good or bad, he didn’t have the mind to tell.

his eyes darted all across his living space, vision blackened at the sides. he couldn’t help but flinch— the feeling of hands touching at his shoulders, his face, everywhere making his eyes water beyond their capabilities. vampires weren’t made to cry, yet here he was; disgusting, if he had to say so.

it’d been a little while since he’d truly crumbled to the floor like this, and he couldn’t even pinpoint an exact reason for such a spiral. not that he felt as if it was needed. she was there, all the time. in the back of his mind, in the ghastly touches he felt at his back. it’s always only a matter of time before his house of cards comes tumbling down.

the palm covering his mouth tightened his grip, almost as if he was trying to suffocate himself with his own hand. clawed nails digging into his cheeks enough to pull pinpricks of blood from his skin. he hated this feeling; it was confusing, it was overwhelming; it was too much.

the brief touches of hands that aren’t there, and haven’t been there for some time. the quiet whisperings of that voice in his ear that always made his knees buckle, and his heart fold no matter how much his brain told him to protest.

phantom pains. even when she’s not around, he can’t just can’t get away.