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tenecity · 6 years ago

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from haters to lovers; zhu zhengting

from haters to lovers—a series where nine percent and you have the cliche, typical love story

warning: mentions of gender discrimnation

sosososososososo after much procrastination, crying and cracking my head, i finally got someth to possibly hate abt zzt hell yes god

also! taking into consideration tt china is still a v much conservative society, gender discrimnation is everywhere and rlly, as of yet, cant b helped

so which is why, imagine ure a chinese woman you found it weird, almost distasteful that a boy would be in yr dance class

i mean, guys are suppose to be strong people, doing more physical stuff like wushu or smth, and then there’s this boy here, doing pointe and perfect turns

“zhu zhengting is here!!!! oml doesn’t he look like a fairy?” your best friend tugs your sleeve as she discreetly point to the said boy. you roll your eyes. youre tired of this whole rave about him. literally, the entire class fangirls abt him; and apparently, it is not just for his looks, for also for his dance

spsjssjnsnsbs hE IS SO ELEGANT

you wld nvr admit it, but ok i guess ure borderline jealous.

i mean, his lines r clean, force controlled in his movements, perfect timing for rushed movements and then he slows down with such grace that you will never have

but its still irks you, that a boy should dance so softly and gracefully. doesn’t seem to sit well with your traditional thinking

so anyway, sidenote! you suck at turns wowww so coincidental

and every lesson, you usually would stay back just to practice it and you always end up with bruises and what nots as you fall repeatedly, no one there to catch you when you fall

somehow, zhengting stays back today as well, rehearsing his main role in the upcoming performance, “swan lake”

and you can’t keep your eyes off his figure

it is mesmerising, how he can convey emotions, feelings, an entire story, through mere movements of the arms and legs. you observe how his every move is calculated, strength justttt the right amount that it looks elegant instead of overly powerful.

and then you stare at the mirror and you sigh. probably why you only got a minor role in the performance.

shaking your head, trying to push all those nonsensical thoughts out of your brain, you continue trying to turn, but you just can’t find the balance

yixing: balance baLanCe bALANCE

once again, your arms aren’t fully stretched out and it creates an imbalance, causing you to once again, fall backwards, out of turn

you shut your eyes, bracing yourself for the impact

but it doesn’t come

surprise surprise

eyelids fluttering open slowly, you realise just how close your are to zhengting, his ragged breath from his exhausting rehearsal fan across your face, inevitably making them the colour of cherries.

“you ok?” he softly asks, as he lowers you down.

“...yea im fine.” you mumble, head bowed.

“....do you need help with the turns?”

“....”

“you know, you’re almost there. its just the part at the 180 degree mark, where you have to pull in your hands. your arms don’t always cross, or are pulled in too fast, which breaks your flow and speed and causes you to fall out of turn.”

how does he know? bc he has been looking at you, dumbass

also i hve no idea how accurate this is i suck at body anatomy

you nod slowly. he makes sense. and its true, you always fall when you are just about to spin to the opposite side.

getting up, your arms are poised, ready to try again.

andddd they become frigid as hands land on your middle, firm and supportive.

“look, its not even straight here. you need it to be 90 degrees here, before you can even start turning.” he adjusts you accordingly.

“im going to spin you slowly, and we try to perfect each section, ok?”

he spins you slowly, your arms closing in in slow motion. he corrects you at certain parts, one hand leaving your waist as he repositions yr arm.

and now, ure facing him, head bowed as a flush colours your cheeks when u realise how close the two of u r. a slight movement will just allow yr lips to brush against his.

but of course his hand is steady as hell and he just turns you slowly and you face the other direction

which, makes ur stomach churn and disappointment flows thru u????

so skipskip next scene

its after class and ure packing up when u hear some commotion at the corridor

n u follow ur busybody classmates

u can barely see who is shouting bc u a cute shortie :)

but u recognise the voice

"NO i'm staying dad. this is what i want to do."

"No, no, no. teacher, im v sorry, but i will like to pull my son out of this dance class now. i will pay the rest of the fees, but he will not be performing that stupid recital-”

“i am performing, dad.” the voice is calm and collected and you try to tiptoe, just barely catching sight of the brown locks

“no u r not. zhu zhengting, u r a boy, u cannot do this kind of girly things! it makes u look v 娘* do you know that? a disgrace, an utter disgrace!”

the voice rings as everyone falls silent, heads turning towards zhengting, waiting for his response to the harsh comment.

“i will prove to you that there is nothing to be ashamed of.” he quietly says, bowing and turning his heel, head held high, with no sign of regret or disappointment

as you watch the figure go, everything falls together like pieces of a puzzle

why he works so hard

why when it already seems perfect enuf, he still practices, saying there is still space for improvement

why he was so desperate to get the main role

he wanted to b in the spotlight and give a flawless performance bc he wanted to prove to his father, that boys dont have to b restrained to a singular activity and stereotype. they can do whatever they want, so long as they like it

guilt washes over u as u watch his father storm after his son, realising that this man is a reflection of you

new found respect is the word u will use on zhengting.

everyone applauds him. an art form shld never be restricted to a gender.

ur heart opens up to him more, and admiration for him blooms as u watch him place high expectations on himself, doing a particular move over and over again, even tho in your eyes, it alr seems perfect enuf

just like how he is to you; perfect and flawless

its addicting to watch him. his pale arms, his clean movements, his strong legs, his silky brown locks, the way his eyes sparkle when he talks about dance, the way the edges crinkle when he laughs, the way he is so bubbly about everything.

and he starts to take notice of you too, helping you to readjust properly, telling you tricks and tips on how to keep perfect balance, how to put the correct about of strength into a movement.

for the next few weeks, you end up gg hme later than usual, staying bck with more than an hour just to spend time with him, and not gg to lie, you r falling for him

but... you kinda don’t rlly knw i mean

he’s nice to everyone

what makes you so special?

anywayyyyyyy

FINALLY RECITAL DAY WOOHOO

everyone’s pretty hyped about it

but u knw the main dancers will be extremely nervous and u decide to go find zhengting in his dressing room, just to give him assurance, if he needs any.

“zhengting?”

“hmmm?” he says (???) as he turns around and oMLORD JESUS CHRIST IS HE A BEAUT

the eyeshadow makes him look sultry, the foundation emphasising how his skin is flawless and hydrated, his eyebrows strong and dark, a true prince indeed

he snaps his fingers, pulling u out of yr trance. “did you want to say anything?” u hear a hint of hope and u almost smirk

“uh...you look good? and good luck.” you mumble, tripping over your words, unused to a god-like creature looking at u with such intensity in his dark eyes

“what did you say?” he teases, cheekiness flowing through his words

“i said,” you clear your throat. “you look good and good luck for your performance

how you wish to wipe that smirk off that face, if not for the fact that u secretly find it EXTREMELY HOT and your cheeks are flaring red at the sight of it.

“if u want to wish me good luck,” he leans forward. flirtatious. “how about a kiss on the cheek?”

you roll your eyes and try to push him away but he is quick to grab your hands and stop them midway, intertwining your cold, clammy ones with his own.

“please?”

“fine,” you try to sound nonchalant but the nervousness is so evident that u see the smirk creeping up his face again.

lips barely brush over the smooth skin and you pull away, blood surging upwards into the blood vessels of your face.

“bye,” you want nothing more than to dig a hole and hide your burning face

“see you afterwards?”

but u’ve already rushed out and he chuckles to himself, warmth oozing thru his being, and his cheeks flush as he thinks about the kiss you give him.

he will definitely have to find you later to give you a proper one ;)

you guys wld b cute buBS UWU

my endings suck dbhasdjbfhjdbkjf

#i gave up on the three parts #i just let this flow

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thestrugglezxcs-blog · 8 years ago

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WEEK 13

It’s a new week again, pretty worried because we are still kinda stuck with no ideas and our progress is stagnant. Started off with explaining the candle idea to huei hoon on monday!

Huei’s Consultation

Can go a little deeper on what’s depression.

You all need a little more content in it.

(Root cause) You all explained what it is not but didn’t explain what it is.

Give reasons on why depression is different from sadness, how do you tell them apart.

Explanation largely ok. (for presentation)

Idea not very strong and not very original

The connections inside need to be stronger

Needs to be very real

Not unusual enough

Not strong enough to make a strong communication project

Why candle? what does it represent?

Small flame= little energy

Flame= hope, cannot see the future is bright

People will assume if we don't explain our intention properly

Why hexagon?

Every shape, form u choose has a meaning

Use compressed foam board? Don’t use wood.

Sculpt the foam board then paint then wax on the surface

A little straightforward

How to make the person look in and see themselves in depression mode on the mirror?

Ended our morning consultation and we thought a little about the form so,

Reason why we used a hexagon is because because: people with depression tries their best to meet the requirements of those without. So with all these negative words, it shapes the depressed causing them to be affected, being unable to reach these goals, hence close to breaking down.

In the afternoon, we had another consultation with Huei,

Hot glue more durable than wax

Hollow

Calculate how many boxes you all need

Whole thing doesnt need to be wax

So it can be lighter.

Pendant put on the wax.

AAAAHHHH more to go!!!! Jiayou us. Luke didn’t have any lessons on Tuesday so it was pure consultation!

Luke’s consultation

Do something that people think is normal, but when depression people look at it, it doesnt feel normal to them.Thus make them go forward.

Differentiate normal people and mental illness

Can play with optical illusion

Take a big panel and make it look 3d, outline it with luminous light

So when they look in will be second third plane.

Something to show there’s a “hole” inside

During Alfred’s lesson, we learnt to use Adobe Animate although Joy has learnt it before, she’s still slightly struggling with it’s coding and Xin Yi is also trying hard learning it.

We consulted Alfred after and these are what he said:

Make a smaller hole, if not everyone can see everything inside from far.

How are you gonna show a static fake flame?

Try to light a candle and see the flame and melted wax

Observe how the wax forms and how much wax there is.

If you want to make a candle shape, make it look legit

Now it looks like scooby doo ghost.

How to make the wax?

Symbol of candle?

Sign of ending life?

It is not a sign of strength

Need a stronger symbolism

Do a form that is so normal that we will not take a second look

Candle- lifespan

Bubble wrap- security

Where’s the empathy?

Where’s the call to action?

Didn’t really follow your objective

Where’s the part that’s gonna be fatal if left untreated?

How do you show depression if left untreated it becomes fatal?

Something thats ordinary, plain,

Requires a kind of like timer- at the end of this if somethings is not done then POOF

HOW IS THAT EMPATHY when u just look inside?

Not addressing empathy and show consequence.

Address objective or change it.

Fatal or empathy?

Felt really lost after consultation with Alfred...because we are drifting far away from our objective omg.

So we have to keep reminding ourselves of our objective!!!!!

To help people empathise and overcome depression; if left untreated it becomes fatal.

we thought of a few ideas on how we could reach the objective

1. Using back the idea of a never ending tunnel, we replace the words or quotes with daily diary entries of real people with depression till the last suicidal diary entry.

2. Combining the images with words together. Taking inspiration from Olivia Penpraze’s video documentation on her journey with depression till suicide.

3. Taking inspiration from here https://www.blurtitout.org/2012/07/02/diary-of-depression/ Images attatched to each diary entry shows his exterior normality going through depression. But his diary entries write things like:

4. Exterior: A diary that shows a fine person

5. “diary” on a stand. Users read the diary till the end to see a hole in the diary. Users then peek in to see the never ending book

6. Is it possible to use projectors instead of a never ending tunnel

So previously we screwed up our interim, and we met Huei on Wednesday for some feedback for it.

Experimentation started late, so not much development

3 areas we need improve: deck and presentation, development

Have to allow the exterior lecturer to understand better. Using the deck and the way we present. Need facts and figures to allow the listener to understand and see how we used our insights to get our objective and how we ideates.

It’s all about communication. It’s a deliverable part of a campaign.be effective to the client

Not enough testing to show that it’s an experimental project: techniques and concept

Dont throw in the whole paragraph into the slides, use keywords

Explain why we used people without depression

3 CONCEPTS: throw in sketches because they under process

Experimental not enough cos only got 1?

Experimentation hard to make out what we tryna achieve

Experimentation: how much light we need? Bright or dim? Placement of lights?

Incorporate points of research with survey

Planning is impt when planning slides.

What can i do if i think my neighbour have depression?

Photography is techniques?

How you know people will walk up to it?

Concept not super persuasive yet, and it’s a very normal idea

Try to incorporate interesting use of media: can it be something different? But it’s smth different?

Can it enable modern technology? Smth more interesting?

Interactive part depends on what the client wants to achieve, which is the user’s take away.

Can check out exhibition at STPI

Landing site connected to QR code of people telling their stories or those relatives telling their stories (realistic)

On that same day, we felt very behind time and we consulted David on our very little progress:

Diary idea,

Going inside - who will read

Too wordy

Visually passive

No shocking element, feels very far

They won’t feel scared

Need element that makes it scary

self -pity moment

They dont want self-pity from a stranger, but they rather tell you things, because they are close to you

They are fearful that you will look into their inside

They are not as opened to strangers: there is a layer of “don’t come and touch me”

Notes hidden by a weariness to share.

Selective sharing

Users should feel like they have intruded somebody’s privacy

Feels like they doing something wrong but they feel wow

Eg: go inside, full of eyes, what do you feel? Watchful of disclosing secrets. Sublime

Weary eyes, with small notes beside it (consider the ring-jap)

Sublime then makes them want to look on.

Hidden notes, secrets (scarce)

Curiosity kills the cat cfm will look in

“I dont rly disclose my depression to other”

If it’s plain? Expressionless? Eyes outside but closed?

Two eyelids - peaceful

Makes them want to question themselves

Sound - crying/talk

Interaction is visual

Secrets hidden very well. Explore with people sticking their head in.

Outside looks peaceful and normal, but the shocking thing is that we all didn’t know that they have depression.

So the depression images will be the background.

One line of the notes can do

Some disclose some “dw to let u know”

So how is this depression?

Maybe it could be a note “they won’t really tell you, till you are willing to be understanding”

But people may look at your notes first before they put their head in

How obvious shld the notes be?

Could be white post its around so they look like scales

Don’t do eyes for exterior so there can be the element of surprise

If it’s a pendant, how will they know that they can take it?

Put inside hole?

Or smth like a cocoon

Eyebags? Put the giveaway inside?

Connection between the whole thing is most important

WE HAVE HOPE AGAIN!!!!!! So excited to carry on after hearing what David said!!! And we came up with a list of stuff we can do for now.

Areas for experimentations:

test a wall of eyes, how will people react

Those with depression and how they will react differently with friends and strangers

Best way to create the most realistic and weary eyes

Best way to create a pendant: hot glue? Resin? Plastic? Shape?

More on photography, show more experiments of techniques

Test sounds on people

MIRRRRORRRR

If people will stick their heads in

Shape?

Butterfly? To represent freedom, taking a butterfly token home represents taking a baggage off?

Teardrop? To represent the tears they have shed will not be taken as a call for attention? Can put in eyebags also

Drug? Pills? Addition to the want to kill themselves?

Heart?

Bones?

Gun bullets?

Lego brick? Or puzzle? Part and parcel of their depression journey?

What if it’s a drug capsule? If the user throws it into the water the capsule dissolves, a note comes out or a message comes out?

EXTERIOR

Sheer cloth over the 2 eyes

Still hexagon?

Cylinder?

Plain w two eyes and eyebags

If teardrop, hang on eyelash?

BIGGG EYE WITH EYELASH

Peace sign twistttt

The exterior with the net

SOUND

Nobody understands me

Why are you looking at me like that?

Dont ask me anything

Im not telling u anything

Ahhh im fine dont worry

Just leave me alone

GET OUT OF HERE

*cries* why am i such a burden

Im so unworthy for anyone

The world would be much better without me

Some of what they are really thinking and some of them saying stuff they pushes people away

Went to check out STPI on Thursday!

Didn’t really get much inspiration, but it’s okay!

TGIF!! it’s another day of consultation

DAVID’S CONSULTATION

What do you want to achieve of your experiment?

Social experiment of eyes- the location determine the results

Can see from afar or out of a sudden?

Put in toilet?

Alternatives,

Individual or a group of people

Designers-right brain

Engineers-left brain

Test people of different schools

Exterior, need something to pull it etc to create the form we want

Mosquito net- drapes down but we need something to pin down

It won't flow by itself

What does the teardrop and her means?

Looks very sweet

Have u experiment if 1m is a good size?

Closed eyes- fine but like having anxiety, sweating

Remove her sweat, CTA (pendant)

Flowchart like how we will react or how others will react, if they walk away, will they get the message?

If flow chart has a lot of “walk away” then you have to change the thing that connects to the “walk away”.

What if you make the eyes outside open and close slowly

Need to have a spotlight since our artefact is being draped

Echo and reverberations are diff

Reverberations are like sounds you make in the toilet. The sounds bounce against the walls

Read up or listen to reverberations, sounds similar to echo, but it’s the bouncing actions that makes you feel like there’s echo

Heartbreak hotel song by elvis Presley. The echo feels very near, the sounds bounces a lot.

Experiment 1: We printed many eyes and stick them behind toilet doors to see people’s reaction mainly people from SD

we’ve got quite good response! Most of them felt uncomfortable or scared (yes! Our objectives). Only 3 out of 15 thought it was pretty funny because it was in SD, it’s not a rare sight to see weird things.. hmm maybe it’s time to change some locations.

So things we need to do this coming week:

Sound

weekly reflections

consultation sheets

form with stockings

resin pendant

Best way to create the most realistic and weary 3D eyes

test audio with underpass

more testings on the eyes (guys)

hot glue pendant

test if people will stick their heads in a hole

Glad we didn’t give up and were able to think of ideas together as a team. There’s not much time left, let’s hope we can finish experimenting by this week and start building it by the following week!

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