#also happy (late) waddle wednesday

[strike-n-brawl]

Vry epic Waddle dee fits !1!1!

[xxreader-writerxx]

Found

Word Count: 3.7k

Dad! Fred Weasley x Fem! Reader (Granger and mum too)

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of food, sort of sad, abandonment issues, pregnancy, vomiting, not a lot but tell me if I missed any.

A/N: I'm obsessed with dad fred ok?

Y/N= Your Name L/N= Your Last Name Y/H= Your House, Y/N/N: Your Nickname

"I'm sorry! I-It's just that between the shop, and Umbridge, and my mum- It's all too much and I can't also-" Fred says as I feel tears drip down my cheeks. "You also can't have me? I didn't know that I was such a burden Fred. If I knew I wouldn't of burdened you for three fucking years." I say and he looks at me hurt. "No- No! I didn't mean that- Baby" He begins but I let out a choked laugh. "You can't call me that. No not when you are breaking up with me. That's not fair." I cry and he tries to move closer but I take a step back picking up the clothes in my closet. "W-What are you doing?" He asks and I throw his shirts at him as I grab his things on the bottom. "I can barely face you now. I'm not facing you to give you your things back." I tell him and I hear a choked cry. "Please don't do this. We can still be friends." He tells me and I laugh through my tears. "You can't call me a burden and say that shit line." I tell him. I turn around to see tears strolling down his face, barely any because of the fight he is putting up.

I finally cry and wrap my arms around him. He places his hand on my head and the other on my back, holding me where I was. "I'm so sorry" He whispers in my hair and I just sob into his shirt. He finally leaves when George calls him and I watch from my window the fireworks off in the distance. I sit down on my bed and feel myself break mentally. 'I don't know how I will do this on my own.' I think to myself staring at the pregnancy test I took yesterday. I was planning on telling him but when he clumped me in with his burdens, it was too hard. I just curl up into a ball crying until I fall asleep.

***

"HERMIONE HE'S DOING IT AGAIN- FINN" I yell as the baby flings his lunch at me. "SWITCH!" She yells back in the same worried tone. I grab Ginger my other newborn as she grab my spoon and place her on her tray. She fights me as I try to swaddle her and I plead her silently. I hear the doorbell ring and Hermione perks up. "Don't you dare-" She begins but I place Ginger in her cot and run out to see who it is.

I open the door and my breath hitches lightly. "Hey Y/n..." George says nervously. He looks up and does a double take. "A-Are you alright?" He stutters at my appearance. "Yeah just work getting ahead of me." I explain and he nods. "So... Watcha doing here? For the first time.. In a year..." I mumble the last part and he looks around confused. "Where's Hermione. She invited me saying something about needing to tell me something." He explains. "HERMIONE" I groan and she walks out and smiles at George. "You made it!" She exclaims and I point at her. "You're dead." I say and I run towards her angrily.

"WHAT THE HELL YOU CALLED GEORGE?!"

"LOOK I CAN'T TELL YOU ENOUGH THEY NEED A MALE INFLUENCE AND SURE AS HELL FRED WON'T BE IT SINCE YOU HAVE NO GUTS, HE'S THE BEST OPTION."

"I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN" I yell back and she sends a firm smack to the side of my head. "YOU ARE 19 YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO!" She yells back and George finally made it over to us confused as hell. "As much as I love the Granger sisters fighting over me... This is not what I had in mind." He points and I groan at the sound of Finn crying. "Look what you made me do." I tell her and she gasps starting to rant again. I walk into the baby's room. I smile sweetly at the boy crying in his cot.

"Hi baby..." I whisper and he gurgles at me smiling. I walk over and pick him up, rocking him lightly. I sit down on my rocker and he swiftly falls back asleep. I reach my free hand to poke inside of Ginger's cot, her hand wrapping around my finger. I smile at the two and hear a gasp. "Y/n-" He begins and I shush him softly, not taking my eyes off my baby boy. "He's asleep." I whisper, too distracted by my ginger baby to register what's going on.

"W-Who are the parents?" He asks kneeling in front of the rocker to rub a knuckle against his head lightly. "They're mine..." I whisper and look up, a tear dripping down my face that clearly gives away my happy smile. "What do you mean? Its only been a year since you two-" He stops realizing what happened. "Is this my nephew?" He asks smiling softly at him. "Maybe." I whisper and he looks at me smiling with tears sliding down his cheeks. "C-can I hold him? Or her?" He asks, guessing at the colors of their sleeping sacks. I smile sweetly getting up. I hand him Finn softly and he gasps at the size of the baby in his hands. "Y/n- You're 19. How- Why?" He asks and I sigh, rubbing my knuckle into Finn's chest lightly. "My sister has helped but honestly I don't know. It's been a crazy year." I explain. "I'm willing to help. Especially now." He tells me and I smile.

***

I pick up Ginger trying to put her shoes on her as she gurgles in protest. "Hey baby you gotta wear shoes now that you're walking, that's the deal." George explains and she gurgles lightly as if she understood. He's fighting Finn to get his shoes on and I finally put on Ginger's. "Tough ones we got here." He says, wiping sweat from his brow. His arm getting hit by a flying tantrum going on next to him. He looks at him and shakes his head chuckling. He scoops up the almost two year old in his arms and laughs. "He is a kicker." He tells me and we finally get them dressed. "Ugh we really need to stop bringing them to the shop, its getting risky." I tell him and he laughs as if I said the best joke ever. "There is no way these kids are being raised without knowing the joke shop, and plus Fred is off on Wednesdays." He explains and I nod curtly.

We walk to the shop talking about the kids who are settled on our hips. "So I will take up cleaning tomorrow if you bring them to the park the next day and I think there might be a Hermione visit. And I bought some baby food with solid because I don't know if they will still like it-" I begin but get cut off by George chuckling. "You are overthinking this. You are a great mum and if they won't eat solid,  you have a blender." He explains and I nod. He's been amazing at calming my anxiety when it come to the kids. He took the role as helpful uncle and comes over all the time but makes sure he doesn't overstep. I make my way inside the shop and he makes his way to customers. I get to the till having Ginger in her stroller next to me. Every hour he switches with me saying they need time with their mama.

The shop finally closes and he helps me with the stroller up the steps. We quickly make our way to the room and Ginger gets up waddling to his bed. I fold his clothes as they play on the bed. I hear a muffled conversation as me and the kids stay quiet. He walks in and Finn gasps reaching out for him. He hands him the milk and Ginger whines until we pass the milk quickly to her. She lays on her back playing with her feet as she drinks her milk.

"These kids..." He laughs. He grabs Finn and opens the door. "Fred's gone don't worry. He will be for the next hour." He tells me to my worried expression. I nod and he comes back with Finn in a new diaper and hands him to me. "He has been kicking me lately. The little bugger." He says rubbing his arm. I laugh and nuzzle my nose against his. "He's obviously like his father." I state and he nods smiling.

***

I make my way into the shop searching for George as the two toddlers point out everything. I hear Ginger gasp and bolt. I run after her clutching on to Finn. I look around scared as shit I lost my baby. When I hear someone talking to her.

"UNCLE RORGE!" I hear her squeal and I laugh realizing she found her uncle. "What sweetheart? Where's your mother?" I hear a voice ask laughing. "Uncle Rorgeeee. You promised me you would bring treats!!" She complains as I look for the aisle they're in. "I'm sorry little one but I'm not George. I'm Fred. What's your name?" He asks and I freeze. "Isn't Red daddy's name?" Finn asks and I can't answer. He slides out of my grasp, obviously knowing where Ginger is. I yell after him and see the man Ginger was talking to. I gasp lightly and she's giggling.

"Uncle Rorge that's not your name! Your name is Rorge. R-O- MUMMY! I FOUND UNCLE RORGE." She points out. "There's your mum. Hello ma'am- Y/n?" He asks confused. "C'mon Ginger. Uncle George is probably somewhere." I say not answering I pick her up as she cries saying Uncle George is right in front of her. I quickly scoop Finn up and quickly walk to find George. "Y/n! What- Crap its Wednesday." He says shocked. He grabs Finn from my hands and bounces him lightly. "UNCLE RORGE TEL-TELR- HE USED A PORTAL" Ginger tries and I nod rubbing her hands. "You- Oh no- Oh shit- Oh sorry-" George stutters. "I'm going to hide in your office now-" I state and he grabs my hand. "You need to face him. He is their father." He tells me and I wipe a tear from my eyes. "I can't George. Not yet." I say and he drops my hand nodding. "C'mon then." He tells me and I walk to the office with him.

I hear banging on the door and it finally opens. "Y/n-" He gasps and I ignore him playing with Ginger. "Y/nnnn" I hear him say again. "Yes Fredrick?" I ask and he tugs my shoulder playfully and George walks in. "Great, your on babysitting duty." I say and George tries to protest but I try and bolt. Fred stops me. He moves carefully so I can't get past him. "A-Are you sheep dogging me?" I ask and he shrugs. "If it works. Now when did Y/n Granger start babysitting?" He asks and I try to move past him. "Two years ago. When you broke my heart, remember that?" I ask and his smile turns into a frown. "I've been trying to get a hold of you. Every day for an hour I question Hermione or someone." He tells me and I laugh. "Anyways- I need to-"

"MUMMY FINN 'OOK MY BLANKET!!!" Ginger screeches. I turn around and George is trying to help the best he can. "I- They fight over everything-" He tries and I laugh walking over. "C'mere baby." I say to Finn. I take the blanket from his hands and he sobs. I grab the dummy and pop it in his mouth, calming him instantly. "Mummy?" He asks and I sigh. "They're two." I explain. I watch the gears turn in his head. "I- No- Wait- Are- What- No-" He stutters, shocked. "Yep. Meet Ginger and Finn Weasley- Well Granger-Weasley. Felt wrong to take the fathers name out." I explain and he collapses to his knees. "UNCLE RORGE! THERE ARE TWO!!!" Ginger states, finally looking around.

***

"Mummy. Mummy. Mummy. Mummyyyy." I hear Finn complain next to me. "Yes light of my life?" I ask sighing. "When's daddy coming? And when's dinner? And why are bananas curved? And why are me and Ginger's hair red when yours is brown? Do we get that from Daddy? Where is daddy?" He questions. "Finny- Baby- Daddy is coming in twenty minutes. Dinner will be done in an hour. I don't know, I need to google it. Yes daddy gave you ginger hair. And on his way." I explain turning so we can google it together. "Ok so bananas are curved so they can get sun." I explain. He nods and slides out of my lap. "Thank you mummy!" He yells behind him as he runs.

The doorbell rings and I open it to see Fred. I give him a quick hug as we all sit down for dinner, Fred answering all of Finn's wild questions as I listen to Ginger tell me its paghetti not spaghetti. We all finish and I clean the dishes while Fred reads them a story. He walks out and sighs laughing. "Ginger just had a long ass argument about how an elephant not a giraffe was in  Africa. She does not realize that she can't read." He tells me and I laugh. "She refuses to admit it. Yesterday she tried reading to Finn. Pride and Prejudice was a ballsy move." I explain and he laughs. "My girl would do that." He says. "Want to watch a movie?" He asks and I sigh. "Fred you need to head home soon." I tell him and he nods sighing. "I know... But can't two friends watch the thrilling and sexy adventure of- Aurora?" He says picking up a random tape.

I laugh and take the tape shaking my head. "I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea Fred." I tell him, poking his nose. "Then let's make it the correct idea." He boldly puts. I chuckle taking the blankets from the couch. "What do you mean Fred?" I ask and he moves to hold my arms lightly. "I want to be yours. And- And I want you to be mine." He states and I look at him shocked. "Don't do this Fred." I whisper and his smile falters for a second. "Do what?" He asks softly.

"Don't do this." I say circling my arms between us. "Fred I love you but based off of three years ago, you don't love me. And I finally found my peace with that. But please. Please do not say you love me when I know you don't. I love that you are such an amazing father that you would throw yourself into an unhappy relationship just for them. But I can't. I don't want fake. I want your real love. And I won't allow myself to accept the man I love to say he loves me when he doesn't." I rant and he pulls me closer. "That's not why I'm saying that. Please." He whispers the last part, placing his forehead against mine. "Fred. I'm not going to be a burden again. That's why I couldn't tell you about those two amazing kids in there. I'm not using them as a way to have you again." I say and he looks at me with hurt eyes. "At least allow me a movie. Just a movie. I don't care if you say I don't love you when I do. But I just want to hold you again." He whispers and I sigh. "A movie."

I sit down on the couch and he slides next to me. "I do love you, more than the world." He whispers and I feel my eyes sting from tears trying to leave. I hear Ginger cry and I get up instinctively. "She's been having bad dreams lately." I tell him wrapping my jacket around myself. "Sit down. I got her." He tells me and I nod sighing.

I hear the baby monitor register him entering their room and I grab it to see what's going on.

"Daddy!" She sobs clutching to her fathers shirt. "Hey little one. What's wrong?" He asks calmly, wiping her face. "I had a bad dream. I got up and Finn was gone and mummy and you. Then there was a dragon and it chased me!" She sobs and he holds her close nodding. "Look baby. There's Finn. And mummy is right in the living room." He assures her. "But every time I wake up you aren't here anymore. You always leave. Why can't you stay? Mummy makes pancakes every Wednesday and she tells us they used to be your favorite. And- And why don't you stay?" She cries into his shirt, breaking his heart. "I'm so so sorry baby. I would stay. I would. But I can't right now. But I promise I will be one day." He tries. "Why don't you and mummy have rings?" She suddenly asks and he looks at her confused. "What do you mean baby?" He asks and she digs her face into his shirt more. "Sophie's mummy and daddy have rings. And they always hug. Why do you and  mummy not do that?" She asks and he smiles at her softly. "Because mummy and daddy are a little different than Sophie's." He tells her and she pouts. "Don't you love mummy?" She asks and he sighs. "I do baby. Very much. But some things are harder than others. But I promise. I will always be here for you. And I am so sorry for all that lost time but I promise, I will make it up to you." He whispers. They stay there quietly hugging until Ginger finally drops her head, quietly sleeping. He smiles laying her on the bed assigned to her and tucks her in softly. "God I love you. More than the world." He whispers, almost exactly how he said to Y/n moments before, with the same look in his eyes. Love.

I wipe my eyes hearing him walk out. His eyes are puffy but he shows no sign of sadness on his face. "Fred?" I whisper and he looks over smiling. "Yes?" He asks and I sigh. "Make me a promise." I tell him and he nods confused. "If I do this. You have to promise me. Do you actually love me or do you just love our children?" I ask and he laughs. "I love you all. Y/n you are the love of my life. Why are you asking this?" He asks and I finally kiss him. He perks up in surprise but he slowly melts into it. "God I love you so much." He whisper in between the kiss. Finally we break away chuckling as he smiles at me. "Want to watch our movie now? I was told there are some sexy adventures in Sleeping Beauty." I ask and he chuckles sitting down on the couch. "I also wanted to say, I might have promised a ring in the future." He suddenly says and I laugh holding up the baby monitor. "Shit I forgot we had that." He laughs and I kiss hiss jaw lightly. "Guess I caught you." I whisper and he laughs.

***

I wake up in my bed thinking last night was a far-fetched dream and smell smoke. "Fuck he is too much like his father." I whisper to myself. I run out and the twins are no where to be seen. I see Fred and he is throwing toast in the trash sadly. "Watcha doing?" I ask and he looks up sighing. "Trying to make breakfast..." He groans sitting down. I walk over and rubs his shoulders as he hums lightly. "Its Wednesday you blessing of a man." I whisper and he chuckles nodding. He turns, puckering his lips and I kiss him quickly. "Get the two arsonists awake please." I say as I grab a pan. He groans moving closer to me. "Why ruin the fun so early?" He asks, his hands sliding around my waist. He kisses my neck as I lean my head away slightly. "Mmm... As much as I would love to, the muffling spell is going to drop at any given moment and Finn is a light sleeper. The boy will tell Ginger we didn't wake them up and they will plot." I explain and he laughs at the thought.

"DADDY!" I hear Ginger yell and Finn runs out to find me. "DADDY'S HERE!" He tells me and I gasp. "He is?! Does that mean we should make french toast?!" I ask and Finn tugs my pyjama bottoms. "NOOO WE NEED TO MAKE PANCAKES!!!!" He whines and I laugh nodding. "FINN! CMONNNN" Ginger yells as she pulls Fred behind her. "COMING! WE'RE WATCHING TV WITH DADDY!" He tells me and I smile. "Go on then!" I tell him.

I finish making pancakes and we all eat together. Fred gets up and Ginger grabs him. "What baby?" He asks and she shoves her face into his leg. "You're leaving aren't you?" Finn asks and he smiles at Ginger, picking her up. "Just to the bathroom. Me and mummy thought you two would like a daddy day. I'm staying here for the whole day." He says winking at me. They all cheer and he moves over to kiss the top of my head and walking to the bathroom. "Mummy..." Ginger whispers. "Yes?" I ask in the same hushed tone. "Daddy kissed you." She tells me and I nod. "Yes he did." I whisper and she giggles happily.

***

I wake up to feel Fred moving around. "What are you doing?" I ask sleepily and he kisses my head. "Finn peed his bed, I got it though." He whispers and lays down next to me. "Does he need a bath?" I ask and he laughs. "Covered." He tells me and I smile nuzzling into his arm. "My hero." I mumble and he chuckles. I start to feel woozy and I rush out of bed. "Darling?" He yells behind me. I throw up into the toilet as I feel my body shake. He rushes in and grabs my hair into a ponytail. "Darling! Oh my god this is why you don't let me make meals." He tells me and I laugh weakly.

"I feel like now is a brilliant time to tell you. I might be pregnant." I tell him smiling. "Surprise..." I whisper doing weak jazz hands.

[modestfuckup]

Challenge Week- Get Beached 2020

Date Night

Teen Wolf | Sterek | 2806

Fat!Stiles, Super Chub!Derek, Date night at the local buffet, 

Stiles pulls their truck up to Howdy Hal’s Buffet. Hal’s is a local place that’s been in business for the past thirty years. They have a great selection of food, and on Wednesdays, they have an all-you-can-eat night for the low price of $10 each. Stiles and Derek haven’t been able to eat anywhere for $10 each in a very, very long time. 

The truck is thrown into park, and Stiles shuts off the ignition and pulls out the key. Derek sits in the passenger seat, too large himself to even consider driving. They both throw their doors open, and Stiles falls out of the cab with little grace. When he does he can feel the truck’s frame being relieved from his weight, but immediately dipping with Derek’s on the other side. 

From his side, Derek wiggles. He manages to get his right leg out from the confined space under the dashboard and his belly to start reaching for the ground. Stiles makes his way to the otherside of the truck. Derek gets his foot on the running board, and uses that to leverage his other leg out. His massive belly jiggles and flops as he twists in his seat, using the frame of the door as a handle. Another leg appears, and he reaches down to the asphalt below. Stiles observes, and offers a bit of encouragement when he can. 

Both of Derek’s feet hit the ground and the truck almost bounces back up when all of Derek’s bulk is out of the cab. Derek takes a couple of small steps, adjusting his shirt to cover his massive belly as best he can, and slams the truck’s door behind him. 

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They’re parked as close to the door as possible. Derek takes small, slow steps, working each step like it’s a personal everest of his. Stiles scoops up his hand, and Derek doesn’t let go. 

It was 10 years ago that Derek confessed his love for Stiles. It was nearly 9 years ago when Derek admitted that he wanted to start gaining weight. It was 8 and a half years ago when Stiles decided he also wanted to gain weight. 

Derek’s bulk was in his belly. It was wide and round. It extends far out in front of him and sits heavily on top of his pants. His arms are massive too, and so are his legs, but his belly is where all the weight goes. Lately, Stiles has noticed his underbelly getting bigger too, and he can’t wait for the day Derek’s fupa hangs low by his knees like his stomach already does. Three months ago, Derek weighed 589 pounds. Stiles is so pleased.

Stiles’ weight is more evenly distributed, but settles in his lower half. He’s smaller than Derek, by quite a bit at this point, but he’s grown happy with his body and doesn’t really mind their side difference. He’s squishy all over, none of his fat really hardening like Derek’s does. Even when he’s stuffed, his belly is still soft and pliable in his fingers. His upper arms are thick and stretch out any shirt or hoodie he tries to wear. They look like hams. His face is soft too. While Derek’s double and triple chins hide behind a beard, Stiles keeps his face clean shaven proving that there are multiple chins down there. His thighs rub together, and they’re so thick that he walks with a wide stride that leaves him waddling from one leg to another. Three months ago, Stiles weighed 342 pounds. Derek couldn’t keep his hands to himself as the digital read out on their scale announced the number.

Derek’s steps are laborious. They don’t walk a lot given heir total combined bulk of being fat as fuck, but their montly trip to Hal’s was always a moment they really enjoyed. They don’t get out of the house much, and even as Derek keeps growing, it gets harder and harder. Stiles idly wonders how much Derek has gained since the last time he was weighed, or even last month’s date night. 

The doors to Hal’s are motion sensing and slide open when they detect Stiles and Derek’s imminent entrance. However, it takes them a few more moments than it would take anyone else and the doors close again, then open again. The doors open and close three times before Stiles and Derek get inside. 

“Ah! My favorite customers!” Hal says from his place behind the cash register. “We were wondering if you two were coming this month.” 

“Oh course we’d come,” Derek pants, moving his thick arm to dig out his wallet from his pocket. It’s not easy, and requires some manuvering around fat, but he gets it. “Two please.” 

Hal immediately escorts them to a nearby table, one very close to the buffet lineup. The chairs at Hal’s have been reinforced. Mostly because on night a few years back Derek broke the chair he was sitting on. The table they’re given is big enough to seat about six people. Derek plots onto two chairs on one side, while Stiles manages to feel comfortable enough on one chair tonight on the other. 

Hal takes Derek’s card and rings them up for the night, and brings the check over for Derek to sign. Normally, Hal doesn’t do table service, because it’s a buffet, but he’s always made special accommodations for Stiles and Derek. 

A cute little server girl comes out from the kitchen. She’s wearing an apron and under normal conditions her job is to clean up after guests leave, tonight though, her job also includes bring food for Stiles and Derek. 

“Hi Anne,” Stiles says, peering over to the rows and rows of food. 

“Hi Stiles. Hi Derek,” Anne is familiar with the couple. Derek puts in his order, and reminds her to pack the plate high because. Stiles decides he wants to walk around and see what’s up there himself. 

Derek watches as Stiles waddles to the pile of places and immediately starts spooning food onto the plate, soon grabbing another one. Anne comes back with two plates for Derek, filled with the food he asked for and a few moments later, Stiles returns with plates of his own. Anne brings them drinks and silverware before leaving them to clean a table that recently freed up near them. 

They eat. Stiles gets up once he finishes the food on his plates to get more. Derek calls on Anne to bring him more. Stiles enjoys a steak or two while Derek can’t get enough of the spaghetti. Mashed potatoes with gravy, mac and cheese, pizza, corndogs, chicken fried steak, hamburgers, and so much more move through their plates. Stiles brings Derek a plate every now and then, encouraging him to try to fish or the chicken or this or that. Derek inhales it all. 

It takes a while, but Derek starts getting full and he’s pleased when he lets out a burp that startles a couple nearby. Stiles can’t imagine what they must look like to them. A couple of huge dudes who can’t even stop eating for a moment to talk to one another outside of small encouragements and compliments about having barbecue sauce on their chin. Derek takes up two chairs for fuck’s sake. They must look ridiculous. But Stiles doesn’t care. He continues to munch on his crab legs. 

Stiles starts getting full and concedes that it is time for dessert. He makes his way to the dessert station and brings back cakes and cookies and ice cream and so much more. He also brings back another plate for Derek even though he sees Anne working up another couple of plates for him already. 

Derek keeps eating and Stiles begins to slow down, feeling the pressure of his fully belly against the edge of the table, but he also loves dessert the best. While Stiles could easily eat an entire meal made of only sweets, Derek loved the savory. There is a plate piled with fries that Derek grabs every now and then. Stiles sneaks a couple from the pile to dip in his ice cream. 

“Do you think they’ll make me a milkshake if I ask?” Stiles ponders sucking on the straw of his soda. 

“Hmm probably,” Derek responds, mouth full of food. The front of his shirt is littered with small spots of food having dropped while he was eating. Stiles wonders if it is finally time to invest in some bibs for him. 

When Anne comes back, Stiles asks and she leaves to the kitchen to see what she can do. Derek starts to lean back in his chair, which signals to Stiles that he’s reaching the end of the meal himself. 

“Do you want dessert? I’m going to go get more,” Stiles starts the process of standing up, it’s always a little more work when you’re full. Derek nods while bringing another forkful of food. 

Stiles packs a couple plates full of desserts, and brings another plate of fries for him and Derek to share. When he gets back Anne is bringing out a sizable milkshake. Stiles plots back into his seat, putting the plates of dessert on the table as Anne takes some plates away. Stiles needs to remember to leave her a very large tip. Stiles sips the milkshake, watching Derek concentrate as he keeps bringing his fork from the plate to his mouth. 

At this point, Stiles knows, it’s not about eating for Derek, it’s about being stuffed. He won’t stop eating until he feels he cannot eat another bite. Stiles knows his limit, and he’ll stop when he is pleasantly full, but Derek has gained nearly 500 pounds in 9 years for a reason. 

Around them, people leave. Normal people don’t spend more than an hour here. Derek and Stiles can, and have, spend the whole evening here. 

Once Derek really starts to slow down, the conversation between them flows. They live together and while Derek works from home, Stiles doesn’t. They talk about work, and other things. They were hoping to go see a movie soon, but the seats were an issue for them now. (Buying 4 seats for two people starts to get a bit ridiculous.) 

Stiles continues to sip at his milkshake, it’s very good. Every now and then he dips a fry into it and eats it up. The sweet and salty mix on his tongue in a satisfying way. Derek finishes all the food they have at the table, so Stiles goes and dutifully gets him another plate. Derek keeps eating. 

Stiles announces that he’s talked to his dad. They hadn’t seen each other since John married Melissa and they ran off to Mexico together a few years back. They invite Stiles and Derek down often enough, but Stiles knows they can’t really travel much anymore. Derek announces a potential promotion for him. It’s in the very early stages, but he isn’t sure he’s super interested because it may require an in person interview. 

They’re lifestyle is a little extreme for some people’s taste. Stiles knows he’s had to defend his lifestyle to Scott many times. The excuse of wanting them to be healthy always being a main argument on Scott’s part. 

Derek starts really slowing down, instead of brining his fork up every few seconds for another bit, he takes maybe a minute to bring his hand up again. The amount on the fork getting smaller and smaller. Stiles definitely brought him too much dessert on purpose. 

“Come on babe, you can finish all that. It’s not that much,” Stiles offers his encouragement. Derek seems determined, and he takes another bite. 

Stiles keeps talking, as Derek begins to concentrate hard on the last little bit of food on the plate. 

“Just a little bit more Der,” Stiles takes the last few sips of his milkshake, and he can feel it go down his throat and join the rest of the food in his belly. He idly rubs circles into the flesh that meet the side of the table.  “You’re doing soo good.” 

Derek fills his fork with the last little bit of pudding and cake from his plate. He takes the final bite, chews for a moment, then swallows. To demonstrate how done he is, he rolls his head back and uses his legs to push himself up a little bit. Stiles can see his hand trying to make it’s way to the bottom of his belly, where his sweatpants are probably cutting into him uncomfortably. Derek stopped wearing jeans years ago, but Stiles does miss the harsh red lines that came after keeping his big belly confined for so long. 

Stiles continues talking, he knows Derek is listening. 

“‘M so full,” Derek announces,” which is good because that was kind of the point of coming to dinner. 

“Well, Hall won’t kick us out,” Stiles says. He finished his milkshake, and now that he’s let his food settle for a few minutes he considers going and getting another plate of food, or maybe dessert. They’re not going to go anywhere for awhile. Derek is too full to move. 

Derek can feel his stomach weighing him down, holding him, forcing him, down to the chairs he is sitting on. He kind of wishes he and Stiles were back home, so Stiles could rub circles into his over inflated belly and massage the softer rolls hidden by his sweats. He rests his eyes, enjoying the full sensation that comes with over eating, over stuffing himself.

Stiles gives in and goes back up for another plate. Derek hears Stiles stand, and looks after him to watch his body sway back and forth as his legs try to make big steps but are confined to taking small wide ones. Stiles still insists on wearing flannel overshirts, which disguise--albeit not very well-the rolls of fat that are on his back. The t-shirts underneath, Derek knows, cling to them tightly and put them on display for everyone to see. The flannel shirts cover it up and Derek mourns over the absence of them. His jeans are tight, because Stiles still insists on wearing jeans, even if it’s only once and a while. His ass crack peeks out the top of the jeans, just enough that when he walks a certain way Derek can see it between the tops of his pants and the bottom of his flannel.  The jeans are sinfully tight, showcasing the rolls that have developed on Stiles’ thighs. 

Derek watches, enamored by Stiles. 

As Stiles returns with his full plate, Derek sees tug his shirt down in front of him, like it’s riding up repeatedly. Derek wonders if Stiles can feel his belly showing. 

“Shirts getting a bit small?” Derek asks, lifting his head as Stiles makes his way back to the table and sits down with a big sigh. 

“Yeah, think so,” Stiles admits. He has another plate full of desserts, he starts eating, Derek feels automatically compelled to eat something but his gut is so full in front of him that he can’t move to swipe something from Stiles’ plate. 

The couple continues to talk while Derek digests enough to stand and Stiles finishes his last plate of food. Hal comes over a couple of times and makes sure they’re both doing okay, as well as Anne. Stiles slips a couple twenties on the table when Derek finally musters up enough strength to stand. 

They’re always seated at a table with chairs, after the time Derek got wedged so tightly into a booth they had to remove the table top so he could get out. Stiles stands, which allows Derek to push the table away from him, and then use it to help him stand. They walk to the exit, Hal and Anne following them to make sure they both get out and to their car okay. 

The truck is right where they left it. Stiles helps Derek climb into it, the poor truck leaning and groaning under the weight of Derek. Stiles closes the door, knowing Derek is inside holding some of himself to allow the door to close at all. He makes his way to the driver’s seat, and gets himself up there, again the truck doesn’t seem happy with the new added weight. 

Before they drive off, they sit in the truck for a moment, Stiles adjusting himself to he can make sure he’s as comfortable as he can be in the tight space. 

Stiles reaches a hand over to roam Derek’s big, hard belly. It always amazing him, how much Derek can eat. “Happy anniversary,” Stiles says. 

“Happy anniversary,” Derek responds, the two lean together, Derek pushes against the side of the truck to get him all the way to meet Stiles’ lips. To another ten years. 

[justwritingscibbles]

House Plants

Fic Request: Chase with a Bulbasaur

Hope you enjoy!!

Potted plants were meant to be good for the house. They produce oxygen to clean the air. Their flowers, if the plant has some, provides a dash of colour and fragrance to the home. And they’re something that reminds you to look after yourself. Their own requirements are small in comparison to you; but they’re still a nice little reminder to drink water and get some sunlight. The important things.

Chase was just thinking this over when he felt something pull on his blanket. The blissful warmth of his bed was immediately ruined by the thick material falling off his body and onto the floor. Vines slithered up and gently poked him in the face, stirring him further from sleep.

“Bulba…” Chase heard the soft call of his Pokemon from somewhere beside the bed. He groaned and lifted up his head, blearily searching for the little creature. Finding it as a lump under the blankets, moving around as it attempted to get out of the confines of its own making.

“What’s up Saur-Gal?” Chase asked. Reaching down to help it out of the blanket. Bulbasaur stayed still until her little head poked out of the blanket. Happily accepting the head-pats as Chase moved closer to the side of the bed. “You good now?”

“Bulbasaur!” She squeaked. The vines slithering back into the pod on her back. Watching excitedly as Chase forced himself to sit up and rub the dreariness from his eyes. His throat felt dry. And the head-ache was beginning to turn into a heavy throb. As always, the liquor was never a good sleeping-pill. But damn! It worked a treat.

The Pokemon nudged his leg. Looking up at him expectantly as he stretched a tired smile over his lips. “I’m getting there, buddy. Let me sit for a minute.” He said. And the little creature nodded. Sitting on its hind-legs and looking up at Chase as he covered his face with his hands. The darkness helped. Sometime during the morning, Bulbasaur had opened the curtains and let the sunlight into the room. The clothes on the floor and been pushed into a pile in the corner and on the bedside table, there was a glass of water in replacement of the whiskey bottle.

“You really shouldn’t have come home with me.” Chase sighed. Looking down at the creature as it tilted its head. As if not understanding his words. But Chase knew she could understand him. She was just choosing to ignore his words until he chooses nicer ones. “Alright, lets…lets start the day, huh?”

Bulbasaur jumped to its feet with an excited cry. Galloping out of the room, skidding to a stop outside the door with its whole body vibrating happily. Chase couldn’t frown at that. He smiled, chuckling as he stood and followed her downstairs. The kitchen was cleared of rubbish and bottles. Most of it pushed into a corner or carelessly flung into the bin. The room smelled fresher. Morning air wafted in from open windows and sunlight filled the kitchen with light. Chase couldn’t remember the last time he opened the windows.

Bulbasaur clambered onto one of the stools by the kitchen island. Front paws on the counter, watching Chase as he clicked the kettle and waited for it to boil. “Coffee is life.” He told Bulbasaur. “It’s a meal and an energizer.”

Something about his words upset the Pokemon. Her eyes creased in a hard stare and her bulb quivered restlessly.

“What?” Chase asked. Plopping a few teaspoons of ground coffee into his mug. Pouring the boiling water in and turning the inside into a deep brown colour. “I don’t eat breakfast.”

Bulbasaur made a soft huff and dropped off the stool. Waddling over to the fridge and flinging it open with her vines. She stood there for a moment. Front paws settling on the bottom of the fridge, taking in what little Chase had. Finally, she wrapped her vines around an apple and placed it in front of Chase. The fruit looked too ripe and a part of it was wrinkling with age.

“I’m not eating that. I’ll be ok, Bulb. I really don’t need breakfast.” Chase explained again. But got the same response from the Pokemon. A harsh huff and a stare that was clearly displeased. Bulbasaur dropped back to the floor and closed the fridge. Then ventured over to the other side of the kitchen. She raised her vines up and opened the pantry. Inside, it was just as bare as the fridge. But there were some unopened crackers that she brought down to her height and made a soft noise. As if she was saying “this will have to do.”

Chase stirred the coffee and dropped the teaspoon into the sink. Glancing at Bulbasaur as she lifted the crackers up to him, shaking it and squeaking urgently. Chase signed. Taking the box and opening it up. The crackers smelled a little stale. But not so bad to chew on as he stared down at the Pokemon. “Happy?” He asked. And Bulbasaur did a little dance with her paws as she smiled up at him. And again, Chase found she was too cute to not smile back at.

After his crackers and coffee, Chase felt a little guilty that Bulbasaur had to tip-toe around his messy house. Clothes and bottles and rubbish were strewn everywhere. Pizza boxes were stacked on his coffee table and dirty dishes were piled both in the sink and around it. He glanced down at the Pokemon as it started gathering rubbish off the floor and carrying it over to the bin. Which was also overflowing with rubbish. Sighing, Chase cracked his knuckles and gave Bulbasaur a thumbs up. “Let’s get this place clean, huh?” To which, Bulbasaur called out happily and hobbled over to help him gather more rubbish.

Bag after bag, the rubbish was shoved and stuffed, tied up and thrown out to the bins outside. Bulbasaur attempted to drag the heavy load outside, but the poor Pokemon was just a little lacking in strength. But Chase happily carried it out for her. She was working hard to help clean after all. And she happily galloped around the now free space of the floor.

Once that was done, Bulbasaur worked on cleaning the dishes. Her vines slipped a little with the soap, and some of the old stains on the plates would need soaking off. But she refused to let Chase near the sink. Yelling at him and waving soapy vines to shoo him away until he left the kitchen. It made him laugh. The first time in a while as bubbles floated around the kitchen and soap splashed across his face. So, he busied himself with carry loads of washing down to the machine to be cleaned. He estimated three loads of washing would be needed to be done. It would take a while, but he did miss the smell of detergent. Suddenly, he realized it had been ages since his bed-sheets had been cleaned. Bulbasaur had been sleeping with him in that! She probably didn’t like how it smelled at all. The thought made him run upstairs and strip the bed. Stuffing them into the machine and pouring the powder all over it.

Bulbasaur cooed softly as he went to put the first load of wet washing into the dryer. He paused, watching the Pokemon open the back door and point with her nose over to the clothes line outside. “But its quicker in the dryer.” Chase pouted. But Bulbasaur gave him the displeased look and he sighed. Heaving the loaded basket of wet clothes out into the sunlight to be hung. Bulbasaur helped where she could. She attempted to clip pegs over the clothes, but her vines weren’t as dexterous as Chase’s fingers. He chuckled and took the peg that clamped onto her vine, using it to hang up on of his shirts.

“I got this, Bulbasaur. Take a break, girlie.” Chase told her. And the Pokemon nodded, sighing joyously as she curled up in the long grass of Chase’s backyard. The sun bathing her in warmth as Chase continued to finish up the chore. He stalled for a minute. Letting the sun warm his face as he breathed in the clean material. When was the last time he was outside? He went to the store yesterday to buy something to drink. That’s when he met Bulbasaur. But it had been late afternoon and he doesn’t remember feeling the sun. When was the last time he let himself feel anything?

A nudge on his leg jerked him out of his thoughts. He looked down to see Bulbasaur sitting at his feet. Watching him carefully as he bent down to scratch under her chin. “How about we go shopping for some food. Maybe get some lunch too?” He asked. His stomach grumbled in mimicry to Bulbasaur’s excited shout. He finished hanging the clothes and made sure the washing machine was going before dressing in his cleanest clothes. Then, he gathered up his wallet and keys and met Bulbasaur at the front door. The Pokemon bounded out into the front yard and to the car. Jumping and dancing as Chase unlocked the car door and opened it up, letting the small Pokemon jump into the seat and cross over to the passenger side. Once Chase had slid into the driver seat and started the car, he checked to make sure Bulbasaur was secured into the seat belt. It was a little awkward, and he’d definitely need to get a Pokemon seat for his car. But she didn’t seem to mind. Looking out the window as Chase started driving.

Surprisingly, there was barely any traffic today. It was still morning, Chase thought to himself. Maybe he’s just early for the morning rush. When he voiced this to Bulbasaur, she made a soft grunt and tilted her head. As if confused by his comment. He looked at his watch’s time and date. Making a soft “oh” as he realized that it was in fact a Sunday. And not a Wednesday like he first believed.

“I’m really out of the loop…” Chase muttered under his breath. Pulling into the car-park of a super-market and coming to a stop in one of the shaded areas. He then unclipped Bulbasaur from her seatbelt and let her jump out before locking up the car and heading on into the air-conditioned store. Bulbasaur immediately wandered over to the fruit and vegetable aisle. Propping her little paws on the displays to peer at the fruits.

“You’re not going to let me get away with buying a small portion of fruit are you?” Chase asked. Already knowing the answer since Bulbasaur was bringing a bag of apples, oranges and a variation of vegetables back over to him. He took out a cart from the front of the store and let Bulbasaur put it in. She gave him a happy little nod and pranced off over get more produce.

“Hey Chase!” Your voice carried over from nearby and Chase turned to greet you. Smiling as you embraced him in a hug. “Good to see you out and about. How are you doing?”

You always had that way of asking if he was REALLY ok without actually asking. Your kind smile and attentive eyes made him feel much better. Especially since you noticed him outside his house and in clean clothes. A much better sight than him on the couch for the umpteenth time and in the same shirt.

“I’m doing ok. Just getting some stock for the kitchen. I have a guest now, and I don’t want her to go hungry.” Chase smiled sheepishly. Glancing over as Bulbasaur carried back more food. She greeted you with a soft sound and accepted a pet on the head as she placed the produce in the cart.

“You got a Pokemon! That’s great, Chase.” You exclaimed excitedly. You were one of the few that understood that Chase never really wanted a Pokemon. He didn’t want to burden it with his troubles. You didn’t push him, but seeing you with your Pokemon made him sometimes yearn for that type of friendship. Your Pokemon greeted Bulbasaur, looking just as happy as you when it realized the Bulbasaur was with Chase.

“She kinda… followed me home. I didn’t want to leave her out on the street. So, she’s staying with me till she wants to leave.” Chase didn’t miss that look Bulbasaur shot him. And you looked a little confused, but none the less excited.

“It looks like she didn’t like that.” You chuckled. “I’ve got to go. But its really good to see you out of the house, Chase.” You gave him another hug and your Pokemon waved goodbye to Bulbasaur before hurrying after you. Chase smiled. Some part of him glowing a little with your words. It was good to be out of the house. Bulbasaur then nudged his leg and the two carried on further into the shop.

Chase got way too much food. But given most of it wasn’t junk food, and Bulbasaur refused to let him take anything that didn’t have some sort of nutritional value. He decided it was probably for the best he stocked up on groceries. He bought some frozen meals but also made the decision to actually cook tonight. He looked up a recipe for curry online and hurried around to gather the ingredients. Eventually the store built up with more people. And Chase picked Bulbasaur up and placed her in the kiddie-seat. She looked relieved, and settled into the seat. Squeaking occasionally whenever they passed a Pokemon or their Trainer. Greeting them with soft calls, making Chase stop to let them talk. Chatting with the Trainer himself, Chase didn’t mind too much. However, he did have to drag Bulbasaur away from a particularly angry Pidgey. Who Bulbasaur seemed ready to throw down with as soon as they locked eyes. But finally, the two made it to the front counter.

The amount the food came to was a large sum. But considering there was nothing in his house, Chase knew it was necessary. Bulbasaur sat proudly on the cart. Heaving the bags back into the cart as Chase made small talk with the man behind the counter. He offered a deal for a box of Pokemon cookies that went to support Trainers in the Gym Challenges. And Chase accepted. Paying some extra dollars to give Bulbasaur a treat to munch on as he loaded the car of his groceries.

She looked very happy as she nibbled on an Onix shaped cookie. Allowing Chase to pick her up and place her in the passenger side seat before taking the cart back to its place in front of the store.

“All good?” He asked as he strapped himself in. To which Bulbasaur nodded, digging out another cookie that was in the shape of an Eevee. She held it out to Chase as he drove out onto the street. He smiled and took it, taking a bite of the vanilla cookie. It was surprisingly good.

Back at home and the food all put away, Chase took the rest of the day to finish up cleaning. He was in the zone now! He didn’t want to sit down otherwise he’d lose the rush and probably never get back up to finish anything. Bulbasaur trailed after him as he finished up around the house. Carrying things and folding the laundry once it was dry from being in the sun. Attempting to help put the clean sheets back on the bed but only struggling with the fitted sheet as they both got it the wrong way twice.

It was late into the afternoon when Chase finally sat down. His whole body was tired from the work he did today. And his mind was surprisingly full of nothing. Blissful nothing. Bulbasaur was sprawled out beside him on the couch. Her little legs flopped out at all angles and her head comfortably resting against his thigh. Chase stroked her head affectionately. Smiling when her throat rumbled with some sort of Pokemon purr. He sighed and lent his head back. Allowing his eyes to close and have a moment of rest. And he spoke softly, so not to ruin the gentle silence that surrounded them both.

“Thanks Bulbasaur. Today was a good day.” He said, and Bulbasaur gently agreed. Her eyes blinking open for a moment to look up at him before settling down into the cushions.

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[keelywolfe]

FIC: The Elephant in the Room ch.4 (baon)

Summary: Jeff has started working at the Embassy. He’s got a new job, a new car, and a new place to live. Now if only the rest of his life could fall into order, that’d be great. Any time now…any time at all…

Tags: Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Prejudice Against Monsters, Angst,  Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Past Suicidal Thoughts,  Mental Health Issues, Friendship

Notes:  Jeff is headed home after his chat with Red, and there is so much that he doesn’t understand. But he’s starting to see why no one goes looking for Red, (whose other name is chaos). 

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

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By the time Jeff left the Embassy, most of the rush hour traffic had rushed on home, so it was a fairly easy drive to New New Home. Even the traffic lights seemed to be on his side, winking to green before he even tapped the brake. Everything was going his way, so it was a damn shame that his inner turmoil was really starting to rev up in speed.

Somehow now that his professional and personal life were getting it together, his love life was the thing falling apart and it didn’t make any damn sense. It wasn’t anything he could put a finger on, even. After a year of trying to figure out his place in, well, everywhere, it felt like things were on a good track. Not that he’d enjoyed getting stabbed to get there, but hell with it, if the gift horse was a little rough with the delivery, Jeff wasn’t going to argue with the outcome.

And now, he and Antwan were seeing each other more than ever, though that might be because of proximity more than anything. Antwan came over nearly every day after work, much to Blue’s rapturous delight. He’d stay for dinner and they’d all chat about their day, what was happening at the Embassy, new policies they were working on, hell, even taking a side track into what movies they wanted to see. It was like…like a family dinner, only one Jeff enjoyed, not like when he was a kid where they all sat silently at the large, mahogany table that his parents got years ago as a wedding gift, trying to eat as quickly as possible so he could escape. In the evening, they all might watch some television, Antwan working on his laptop if there was a big case coming up, or sometimes, he’d put his arms around Jeff and simply hold him, big and warm and right there. On those nights, Jeff sometimes secretly closed his eyes, the better to feel him with, my dear. Netflix would always be there, he needed to get his snuggle fix when he could. Antwan would either stay the night, since Jeff finally had a bed that could fit two fully grown humans and not barely most of one, or they’d drive over to sleep at Antwan’s place. Where they slept seemed to depend mostly on whether they were having sex or not, and maybe they’d started this with dinner and blowjobs, but Antwan wasn’t fussing about not getting laid every night. On the nights they stayed in Jeff’s bed, they curled up together and slept, the blankets pulled up around them in a comfy, secret world that Jeff wanted to stay in as long as he could.

Or, well, at least for the night. Because waking up in Antwan’s arms, with the smell of coffee wafting up the stairs? Yeah, Jeff was good with that. The first few days or so after he’d gotten out of the hospital, Jeff had been really worried; Antwan hadn’t seemed himself, but considering how fucked up that whole situation had been from the gate to the front door, maybe he should be happy Antwan had only seemed as odd as he had. Whatever his problem was, he seemed to have gotten past it and the last few weeks seemed like a little patch of heaven So, what the hell just happened in his office?

Jeff always figured Antwan and Red were friends of some sort; every Wednesday the two of them went out to the bar together, but that was definitely not a friendly bar-mate vibe he got today.

Not with Red sitting behind his desk, dressed like he might be called in to play the lead in West Side story at any moment and Antwan glaring at him like he was on the rival gang’s side.

It’d hurt a little when Antwan sort of dismissed him out the door, but that was easy enough to let go. The way he’d refused to take his eyes off Red made Jeff think a little of Edge, the way he looked around them now when they were all out in public.

Gone were the easy days of leaving Chinese restaurants without a care; now when they went down sidewalks, Edge tended to act like he was in threat assessment mode, and that was exactly how Antwan looked at Red. Stretch might be confident enough to ignore it, snatching up Edge’s hand to hold or pestering him with puns, but Jeff wasn’t quite so certain. Especially since Red wasn’t some random Human with a knife; he was a guy who showed up Thanksgiving dinner and movie nights, who Antwan shared drinks with almost week..

Better to let the two of them deal with their problems on their own. He hoped.

Jeff pulled into the driveway next to Blue’s Volkswagen, and he’d barely turned off the car when his phone buzzed with a text alert. The number came up as unknown, but even if his phone didn’t recognize the sender, Jeff did. hey, handy andy. think you can meet with me tomorrow, talk a little bit more about your pal steve Interesting. As anxiety-inducing as Red was, Jeff got a little thrill to think he might be able to actually help. Remembering that day last year on the bus, Stretch’s fear as that guy screamed at him. Thinking of Edge’s wary gaze while they were in Ebott. If he could help keep any Monster from feeling the same, even one, Jeff was all for it. He walked up the sidewalk to the door, past the flowerbeds on either side. Blue’s decorations were for a more subtle autumn, a little like he imagined someone’s grandma might have. Not exactly the same as the Halloween displays Stretch put up, weird to think those two were brothers. Jeff sure didn’t mind walking into a house that smelled like apple pie and cinnamon rather than his old place that always smelled a little like wet feet.

With the open floor plan, Jeff could see the dining room from the doorway and Blue was already laying out plates and silverware. “There you are,” Blue scolded before he even took off his shoes. “I was just about to text you.” It made Jeff have to hold back a smile. Having someone worrying about him wasn’t exactly something he was familiar with, not for a long time. He thought maybe he wouldn’t mind getting used to it. Blue was setting the table for three because Antwan almost always came over for dinner. Sometimes straight from work even if he wasn’t quite finished, and he’d have to leave the table to answer his phone, which made Blue tut and shake his head. He kept it to disapproving glances for Antwan, but Jeff’s gotten a couple of earfuls from Blue about how Antwan and Edge both worked too long and too hard, and needed to spend more time with family. Not that Antwan had any family close by, but Jeff figured the sentiment was nice. “Sorry, I should’ve called,” Jeff said contritely. Blue flapped a hand at him, already moving on. One thing about Blue that he’d learned quickly was that he didn’t hold a grudge. “No need to apologize! Dinner’s almost ready.” Which was certain to be delicious, based on every other meal he’d had since moving in.

If asked, Jeff wouldn’t be able to tell which of the skeleton family was a better cook. Partly because he valued his life; there an odd sort of tension between Blue and Edge that Jeff couldn’t help noticing, and adding another rivalry would probably be bad for the world. But also because frankly, their food was equally delicious. It was only different. Blue made homier meals that made Jeff think of small ma and pa diners, while Edge made an eclectic variety that wouldn’t be out of place at some hipster hole in the wall. Nobody was asking for his opinion yet and Jeff wasn’t about to offer. He wanted to keep enjoying the spoils of their labors, thanks, even if he would have to start getting up for morning runs. A knock at the door made them look up and the door opened before either of them could answer it. To Jeff’s surprise, it wasn’t Antwan but Stretch, offering them a lopsided grin and a wave. “Papy!” Blue moved in a blur that matched his namesake and Stretch was already kneeling down, pulling his brother into a tight embrace. “hey, bro,” Stretch gave him a clacking kiss on top of his skull, and Jeff had to look away, faint tears prickling. He’d always gotten the feeling that Stretch and Blue butted heads a lot, with a laundry list of issues between them. None of that seemed to affect how much they cared about each other and big hugs were the norm. Less so was Stretch standing with his brother balanced on one arm, waddling over to rope Jeff into a three-way hug. “heya, andy, how’s tricks?” “I haven’t come up with any new ones since I saw you this morning,” Jeff said, with an attempt at dryness. He didn’t really succeed, not with Blue snuggling in on one side and Stretch on the other, but eh, he wasn’t about to manage Edge’s Sahara-levels anyway. The kitchen timer going off put a quick end to it and Blue squirmed down, dashing off to the kitchen. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?” Jeff asked curiously. Stretch had come over a couple times for dinner after Jeff moved in, but usually on Wednesday when Edge was gone for the evening. “not sure,” Stretch admitted. “red sent me a text, told me i should come down and watch the show, and i haven’t done anything phenomenally stupid lately, so i figured i was due.” “Listening to Red is phenomenally stupid?” Stretch shrugged, “it’s bad for life expectancy, for sure.” “Papy, don’t you dare use that in the house,” Blue said the moment the kitchen door opened. The bony hand that was stealthy creeping towards Stretch’s hoodie pocket froze and slid guiltily away, “sorry, bro. habit.” “I don’t see how Edge allows you to vape in the house, anyway, I—“ Blue visibly caught himself and cleared his throat, “but of course, it’s his house. Are you staying for dinner?” “wouldn’t have come over at dinnertime if i wasn’t,” Stretch said easily. He straddled one of the dining room chairs, ignoring his brother’s fussing about sitting properly, honestly, Papy! Jeff only watched, bemused. He wasn’t sure what show Red wanted Stretch to watch, but this one never failed to amuse. Any time Blue said anything remotely like a slight against Edge, Stretch’s version of a punishment was being a passive-aggressive annoyance. It made him wonder if Blue actually knew exactly what Stretch was doing and simply accepted it as his due. An unspoken language shared between brothers. His phone buzzing again made Jeff frown and he looked down. It was an unknown number again. can you meet me in the cafeteria at noon? He didn’t think that would be a problem and texted back a quick affirmative. Another brisk knock at the door and it was a wonder that he hadn’t known immediately that it wasn’t Antwan the first time. Stretch’s knock was lazily rhythmic and Antwan’s a firm rap that announced his presence better than a fanfare. Not that Jeff minded; he kinda liked the forewarning, the better to appreciate Antwan when he came in. He usually came in his business suit, and yeah, that was pretty mouthwatering in a Risky Business sort of way. Better to Jeff’s way of thinking was days like today, when he stopped to change into casual clothes before coming over. Jeans and a soft pullover, and Jeff wanted to cling to him the same way that denim did. He wanted to snuggled into that pullover, breathe in his cologne and the familiar scent of his laundry detergent. He settled for a smile, widening as Antwan immediately strode over to give him a kiss. Um, okay, more like a kiss, with more enthusiasm and a hell of a lot more tongue than he usually gave for a simple hello. Not that Jeff was about to turn it down, he clung like Antwan was a life raft and he was drowning, heedless of their audience. Blue only cleared his throat and Stretch finally called, “the food is getting cold, romeo!” That wasn’t enough to stop him and Jeff knew it was rude, but he wasn’t much inclined to pull away either. Not from Antwan’s mouth, not from Antwan at all, he could stay here all night and to hell with dinner. His phone buzzing did what all the impatient huffs behind them didn’t. Antwan finally pulled away with a last, soft kiss, whispering to Jeff, “Is that important?” “It’s probably just Red again,” he whispered back. And, okay, maybe he’d said it deliberately, a test of sorts, but he couldn’t tell if Antwan’s expression was passing or failing from the way he scowled irritably. “What the hell does he want?” “Security stuff,” Jeff shrugged. Some of Stretch’s pettiness might be rubbing off on him because he left it at that, glancing at the text. scratch that, why don’t we go out to lunch. less chance of being overheard Sure, Jeff texted back. He gave Antwan’s sulky mouth a last peck and went into the dining room. The table was laden with a large casserole dish with rich gravy still bubbling, a basket filled with fluffy biscuits and a variety of vegetable side dishes. Stretch was already filling his plate, moaning his delight at the biscuits while Blue sat squirming with obvious happiness. In Jeff’s experience, all the skeletons liked to feed people, the ones who cooked most of all, and Jeff was more than happy to do his part for them. Conversation was put on hold in exchange for eating and for long moments there was only forks scraping plates and hums of appreciation. It wasn’t until they were on seconds that Blue spoke up to ask, “So, Jeff, what was it you needed to see Red about today that was so important?” “Um,” Jeff kept his gaze on his plate, because if he looked at Stretch, there was no doubt his friend would guess immediately. He couldn’t be sure that Stretch wouldn’t appreciate him meddling, he could be really moody about anyone being overprotective. If he was going to tell him, Jeff preferred it to be the only two of them rather than having Blue and Antwan laser-gazing him down. His phone buzzing saved him from answering. He started to reach for it and hesitated; he didn’t really want to be quite as passive aggressive as Stretch. “Oh, go ahead,” Blue sighed. “Antwan lives on his phone whether or not we’re at the table, anyway.” Normally, that would get a smart remark, maybe a little pointed sarcasm that making sure people weren’t stuck in jail was more important than dessert, but Antwan only watched mutely as Jeff checked the message. italian? mexican? I like Thai better, Jeff sent back and set his phone aside. “well?” Stretch asked, lazily amused. “what did red want this time?” “What makes you think it was Red?” Jeff hedged. “oh, no, don’t even try, you do not want to play this game with me, i’m way better than you are,” Stretch leaned back in his chair, grinning. “Try what?” Jeff said, purely innocent. “what did the little gremlin waaaaant,” Stretch sang out. “what did he want, what did he want, what did he want—“ “Papy, Jeff doesn’t need to tell us his personal business,” Blue said primly. As if his starry eye lights weren’t blown wide with curiosity, the traitor. “maybe jeff doesn’t, but andy is dying to say. c’mon, spill.” “He wanted to know if I liked Mexican or Italian,” Jeff admitted. “pfft, whatever,” Stretch sniffed, a pretty remarkable feat without a nose, “a true friend would know you’re not keen on either. too much from the tomato branch of the nightshade family.” “I can’t really say I like eating from any other branch related to nightshade, either.”

“You love mashed potatoes,” Blue pointed out. “give eggplant a try,” Stretch added, “edge makes a great—“ “Why is Red inviting you out for lunch,” Antwan burst out. That irritation from earlier seemed like a minor glitch in the Matrix compared to now. Visibly flustered, nothing of the cool, competent lawyer showing. “Security reasons.” Jeff said again. He didn’t want to make Antwan mad, but, damn if something about this wasn’t a little thrilling. Dangerously so, Jeff wasn’t great at playing with fire, he might be getting burned if he kept it up. But for now, Antwan was glaring at him and Jeff only looked back serenely. He could go to lunch with anyone he wanted, thank you, even so-called gremlins. “lunch. in-ter-esting,” Stretch drawled. He slanted a sly glance at Antwan. “didn’t red invite you? you guys should be a package deal, right?” Okay, that made Jeff wince, a little too pointed. But Antwan stepped up to the plate and swung, saying, “Is that how it’s supposed to be? Because you haven’t attended many of the lunches Edge and I have.” Stretch’s grin sharpened; looked like Antwan hit a home run. “touché. you’re probably right, anyway. i mean, you never come hang out when me and andy grab some nosh.” “Yeah, because I trust you,” Antwan said shortly. “Do you trust me?” Quietly. Because this was funny, but. Yeah. Jeff really needed to know. Something hot twisting in his chest slowly unraveled as Antwan gave him a stricken look. “Of course I do, it’s—“ A knock at the door interrupted him and Jeff needed to fight the urge to shout, ‘go away!’. This was an answer he damn well needed and he didn’t care anymore that Blue and Stretch were watching avidly. Before he could stumble over into rude, the door opened and Edge stepped in. His gaze lit on Stretch and without preamble he announced. “We’re leaving.” A chorus of protests rose, loudly from Blue and Stretch, weakly from Jeff, and not a single word from Antwan, who was looking down at his plate, his fingers pressed so hard against the table that the nail beds were blanched. Edge was unmoved, only crossed his arms over his chest. “Now, please.” “excuse me? i just got here!” Stretch grumbled. Blue looked like he’d bitten into a lemon, surely plenty of words locked behind his teeth that Jeff would hear later about Edge being too controlling, while in another minute he’d complain that Edge let Papy get away with too much. “And you’re just going,” Edge said evenly. “Neither of us are going to be party to whatever my brother is doing.” “but-” whatever Edge silently communicated made Stretch trail off. He sighed out, “yeah, okay, i’m out. sorry, guys.” “For what?” Jeff asked, bewildered. This whole thing was confusing, but he wasn’t really sorry to lose half the audience. Stretch only shrugged. “beats me, but i bet we’ll figure it out soon.” Stretch snagged his coat and slid it on. Then he stood still, smiling crookedly while Edge fussed over him, making sure he had the hood up against the evening chill. A last wave and he was out the door, Edge at his heels and the last glance Edge gave Antwan was so incongruous on his angular face at first Jeff didn’t recognize it for what it was. Helpless apology and whether it was for Stretch, Red, or a combination of the two was anyone’s guess. “Honestly, what’s gotten into everyone!” Blue huffed out as he started gathering up plates. “Going to lunch with Red is perfectly fine, he and I go out sometimes! He’s a bit uncouth, certainly, but-“ The chime of a text sounded, but for once, it wasn’t Jeff’s. Blue broke off with surprise, hopping down to his feet and going to where his phone was set on an end table. “Maybe Papy forgot something—hm. That’s odd.” “What’s odd?” Blue frowned at the little screen. “Antwan, Red is asking me to tell you that his offer is still open?” Everything simultaneously made more and less sense. Obviously, Antwan and Red were having it out about something, and whatever offer Red had made didn’t seem to be for anything as simple as lunch.

Antwan stood abruptly with a rattle of plates and silverware. “Excuse me for a moment,” Antwan said stiffly, and he walked straight out the front door, shutting it firmly behind him. “Goodness,” Blue said. His round face was drawn up with worry. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.” “I’m sure it’s fine,” Jeff said slowly. He really wasn’t. “Let’s clear off the table.” By the time they were done and the leftovers neatly labeled and put away, Antwan still hadn’t come back in. Jeff wasn’t sure which way on the path to head, wait for him or not? But the tight knot of worry in his chest was giving him a lead. “I’m going to check on him.” “Yes, all right. Jeff?” Blue gave him a gentle smile. “I’m sure everything is all right.” He really wished he had Blue’s certainty. Antwan hadn’t gone far. It wasn’t quite dark yet, the sun at the crest of the horizon, but it was chilly. Antwan wasn’t wearing a coat, but he didn’t seem to notice the cold. He was sitting on the porch, smoking, the cigarette burned down almost to the butt. He flicked a glance Jeff’s way as he stepped out, but only took another wordless drag. Not inviting but not asking him to leave, so Jeff would choose his own adventure.

He stepped out, shutting the door behind him. “Stretch just quit so you’re taking it up?” Jeff teased, uncertainly. “He’s not quitting,” Antwan scoffed. “He didn’t quit the ten other times he tried. And I’m not taking it up. Quit a few years ago, but sometimes the need hits.” He took a last puff and then pinched it out. “Come here?” With one hand, he guided Jeff down to the lower step to sit between his feet, then draped his arms over Jeff’s shoulders, pulling him in before he could even start shivering. Antwan was big enough to practically wear like a blanket and Jeff snuggled in, basking in his warmth. Right here, he could be happy right here for just about forever. Except he didn’t think Antwan was quite as content, and Jeff hated to rock the boat. He’d been avoiding it from the beginning, clinging to the temporary.

But if Antwan wasn’t happy, maybe it was time to risk falling overboard. He had a home here now, friends, family. Jeff wouldn’t be alone. But, god, it was going to hurt to lose him. "What's wrong?" Jeff asked, softly. He felt Antwan inhale, long and deep, exhaled and Jeff could smell cigarettes and spicy, familiar cologne. "Edge told me once he almost lost out on everything by being an asshole,” Antwan whispered it to him, raw and low. "Please, don't let me make the mistake that he missed. Please stay with me." That…wasn’t like anything Jeff was braced to hear, and the pain in Antwan’s voice echoed in his own chest. He tried to pull away, to twist around and look at Antwan, but he refused to let go, holding tight until Jeff subsided. He could only sit on the cold step, Antwan warm behind him as Jeff blurted out, bewildered, “But I wasn't going anywhere.” “No?” Antwan settled his chin on Jeff’s shoulder, digging in a little, and he could feel as much as hear him speaking. “Baby, I don’t want you to stay because you’re afraid you don’t have anywhere else to go, either.” Jeff swallowed hard, okay, yeah, he could see how someone could think that; he was kind of needy, always wanting more, but, “I’m not. I’m really not, I swear.” “Shh,” Antwan’s arms tightened, lips brushing Jeff’s cheek. “It’s okay. Do you remember talking to me in the hospital, the day after your surgery. You might not, you were a little out of it.” “Maybe?” Antwan had been there a lot right after his surgery and Jeff’s memories of it were blurred through painkillers. Antwan nodded a little. “Do you remember telling me you love me?”

Oh. Jeff closed his eyes, squeezed them shut hard, “Antwan-“ “You don’t, do you. And you haven’t said it again, but that’s okay, because we both know I haven’t either.” Antwan sighed heavily, and his arms were strong and firm around Jeff, not letting him escape. Not pushing him away. “What kind of lover have I been that you were afraid to tell me?” “I wasn’t afraid of you!” Jeff blurted, because he couldn’t bear this, hadn’t even known Antwan was hurting and it was his fault. “But you were of how I’d react,” Antwan insisted. “Which means I’ve done a shitty job of letting you know how much I love you.” Hot tears were blurring Jeff’s vision. This…this was…“You don’t have to—“ “I do have to,” Antwan rubbed their cheeks together, stubble faintly scraping. “I do, because it’s true and I should have told you a long time ago, and now I’m losing you.” “You’re not.” A broad thumb stroked gently down the side of Jeff’s face, wiping away tears that were starting to escape from beneath his lashes. “But you don’t believe me when I say I love you and I don’t blame you. What do I have to do to make you believe?" The wet streaks on Jeff’s face were cooling in the chilly wind and he finally opened his eyes, ready to see what was in front of him. Tidy flowerbeds, the sidewalk, the road, other cookie cutter homes with their own flowers, filled with people he knew. All of New New Home, right there. Everything he’d ever wanted in life was coming to him, like maybe he hadn’t helped a Monster on the bus a year ago, he’d helped a genie and wishes he hadn’t dared make were still coming true. Friends, family, a job. And love, if he was brave enough to reach for it. Five years ago, Jeff might not have, two years, one year. But Andy had come to life in him since then and he was more than ready to grab hold. “I guess you should stay with me and keep saying it as much as you can,” Jeff said, and if his voice trembled, who here would care? “You’re bound to convince me eventually." He felt as Antwan suddenly laughed, the rich, warm chuckle that Jeff loved so much filling the air and taking the tension with it. He squeezed Jeff playfully hard, making him wheeze. “I think I can make an argument for that. You know, at the hospital, I asked you to move in with me.” “Oh.” Jeff swallowed hard with new dismay, he wanted that, he did, but he’d just moved in with Blue and— Antwan saved him, again, fingers combing through Jeff’s windblown hair. “I’d love to have you, but this is okay, too. Maybe take a little while and get used to the whole love thing?” Gentle, uncertain teasing. “Blue is a nice guy and I think having you here has been good for him. He and the other diplomats have a big trip coming up in a few months, maybe when he leaves, we can revisit the idea?” “I’d like that.” Jeff took a deep breath, let it out, because it was his turn, drugged confessions notwithstanding, and he could do this. “I love you.” “I love you, too.” Terrifyingly thrilling to hear it echoed back again and maybe Antwan knew that, adding, “Get used to hearing me say it.” “It might take a while,” Jeff admitted. “That’s fine.” Warm lips brushed Jeff’s temple. “I don’t have anything else I want to do more.”

Okay, enough was enough. Jeff needed a kiss to seal this deal and he needed it now. He squirmed free of Antwan’s grabby hold, fumbling his way to his knees and kissing him before he even caught his balance. Let Antwan keep him from falling off the step, pulling him in close, cupping his face in large, warm hands. His mouth was hot, his lips cold, and Jeff slipped both arms around Antwan and held on tight. He was still lost in that heady kiss when his phone buzzed again. Jeff ignored it. He had everything he needed for now right here.

Lunch could wait.

-finis-

[sohmariku]

RIKU’S RANDOM LIFE: THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF... AUTISM?

Yesterday  What do I need to do today? Finish decorating the Christmas tree? Reminds me, I still need to by a Christmas stall. But the kitchen really needs to be cleaned too. It’s also about time I finish the Winter set-up of my nendoroids. Crap, I absolutely need to vacuum the house today! Laundry can wait another day,...can it?

*Proceeds to watch another episode of Avatar: the Last Airbender*

Thankfully I’ve managed to cross out most of the tasks I had to do by today, but the Christmas tree still lacks decorations and my nendoroids are still disorderly shoved on the shelves. Maybe tomorrow...?

(I came to come to the conclusion I still have dry laundry hanging on the clothesline... I estimate it’s been up there for about a week now.)

While my mind is usually in a state of “semi-organised chaos”, the last couple weeks it’s mostly been “pure chaos”. Due to an overload of responsibilities, birthday parties and other holiday-celebrating occasions, I can’t seem to keep up with even the most basic tasks. 

In short, I’m mentally exhausted and need a break.

Last time I blamed my kitten for the lack of progress on any subtitles, but... I’ve come to the realization it’s been not just that. The seemingly never-ending string of social responsibilities has drained away all my energy... to the point I could barely be bothered to eat breakfast some days. Of course my dumb-ass mind was too tired to realize what was going on and... Hello Meltdown Yesterday. 

In hindsight, I really should have skipped that birthday dinner party, but my boyfriend was already guilt tripping me into going, before I even could mention I didn’t want to go. His father would be so happy if I’d be there, he said. Mind you, I had completely forgotten about that party until my boyfriend called around 4PM telling me he was on the way home, so we’d surely get to the restaurant in time. That day was supposed to be MY DAY OFF! Because I could feel I had reached my limit. Nope, that evening is gone! Though I was literally on the verge of crying, I decided to push through, because his parents feel they don’t see me around enough already and gotta keep them happy, sorta.

The effect showed immediately, because it took me two days to even realize I had forgotten my scarf at the restaurant! And I only noticed, because I couldn’t find it when I forced myself to do the grocery shopping I absolutely didn’t feel like doing, because I was still recovering from said dinner party. Of course, as the responsible adult I am, I didn’t call the restaurant, but instead texted my boyfriend “I think I might have forgotten my scarf at the restaurant!” and prayed he’d solve the problem without me literally needing to ask him to make the call for me. Because if there’s anything I hate more than making phone calls, I hate making phone calls to admit I’m an absolute airhead who forgot her scarf! Thankfully he fixed it without me needing to spell it out word for word. Got my scarf back. 

But really, this whole debacle really shows how on-edge I was that evening. I clearly remember thinking to myself “don’t forget your scarf” and then came the waiter who handed me a little rubber duck. (because apparently every female customer gets one) And boom, I became a happy little penguin with my rubber duck. It was all I could focus on ad when people started to leave, I quickly waddled outside (after saying some painfully awkward goodbyes to people I don’t actually know, but who do know me) and totally forgot about the scarf. Until days later! But yes, I got it back.

(To add to that, I lost that same scarf again today but in the Garden center, because I was too focused on a text conversation on my phone. Took me a lot of courage and agonizing to ask the staff if anyone had found it. They did, I got it back. Also, when doing some grocery shopping last week, I forgot my empty shopping bag at the cashier. I didn’t go back to ask if anyone found it. I could get a new one for only 58 eurocents after all. Anyway, notice a trend?) 

If that wasn’t enough. The worst part is probably, I know I’m not out of the woods yet. Choir practice on Friday (20), Christmas Market Choir performance on Sunday (22), Christmas Evening Church Mass with choir on Tuesday (24),Christmas with family (parents/siblings) on Wednesday (25), Christmas with extended family (grandparents/uncles/aunts/cousins) on Thursday (26)... 

Somewhere in between all that I need to find time to properly clean my whole house (which hasn’t happened in forever), because I’ll be the one hosting the Christmas gathering on the 26th (It’s way too late to back out now...) and my aunts are already judging me enough as it is.I don’t need them to think I’m living like a pig. (It’s the first time they’ll see my house, so they’ll be sticking their noses everywhere most likely...) My house isn’t dirty per se, but it could definitely be cleaner.

And when you think the “suffering” finally ends... my boyfriend has a compulsory day off from work (27). So, I won’t get a fully quiet day until Monday (30). My plans for New Year’s Eve (31) are still unclear. But then my boyfriend has another compulsory day off  on New Year’s (1) and he also decided to take Thursday (2) and Friday (3) off too. Now my grandmother’s birthday is on the 7th, but she might very well be celebrating it on the 4th or 5th. Or the weekend after that (11-12). Plus in either of those weekends my boyfriend’s parents very much want to go out for dinner with us too...

In short, that means I’m not expecting any “true” down-time until well into January... And just that thought alone is enough to drain away the last bit of energy I had left and dread the rest of the month. 

Always love the holiday season... //hear the sarcasm// 

If it was up to me I’d go into hibernation and wake up somewhere in January.

---

Note: Though I have no official diagnosis (and not sure if I’ll ever pursue one), in hindsight, I’m pretty clearly on the Autistic Spectrum. It’s only been a year ago since I really came to this realization, I’m apparently pretty good at masking, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. My autism affects a great deal of my life. For one, any social interaction requires a lot of energy. It’s worse if I’m meeting with a large group of people. And even if I’m not in the same room, having another person in the house will somehow keep me on edge to a certain extent. I’m well aware that full schedules are exhausting to everyone, but to me they are “extra” exhausting. For example, it can take 2 full weeks to fully recover from a gathering with extended family. And when I’m in recovery, it’s very hard to do anything productive on a day. As I’m writing this, it sounds insane. And it doesn’t always happen, but it does happen and that’s extremely inconvenient. 

This post became a lot longer than I expected, but I guess it’s good to finally talk about this? Though part of me is feeling really anxious about it. How dare I claim to be autistic without an official diagnosis? It’s silly. My life is all about silly worries. This is just one of them. The anxiety is real. >< Guess I’d better just post this already... and then regret it all night... have trouble to fall asleep... while I dread the reactions people might have. Yes, that’s how my mind works. By morning I’ll realize I had nothing to fear, I hope... O.O;;

By the way, congrats if you made it all the way to the end of my rambling!

[handeaux]

Remember When Cincinnati Made Celebrities Of Its Fat Men?

Time was, Cincinnati loved our fat men. These days, you put on a few pounds and everybody bombards you with unsolicited advice about exercise and your diet, but it used to be that fat men had real respect in this town.

Cincinnati is the home of William Howard Taft, among our favorite sons. “Big Bill” was a chunky lad but, despite the legend about him getting stuck in the White House bath tub, it is unlikely he ever weighed more than 340 pounds.

Now, Henry Rave – there was a big boy! It made front page news in 1894 when Henry Rave, of Westwood Avenue, died. Rave was so corpulent that he had been unable to sleep in a bed for close to a year, but was otherwise in moderately good health, according to the Cincinnati Post [23 February 1894]:

“Rave died on Wednesday of fattening of the heart. He was weighed the day before and the scale registered 460 pounds. He had not been ill until an hour before his death, dissolution being very sudden.”

Rave’s coffin had to be custom made, and it took nine pallbearers to carry him to his eternal rest.

Visiting fat men got equal ink. When Joseph Wilbur Grimes came to Cincinnati on a visit to his brother, the newspapers spread the word. Grimes, allegedly 550 pounds in heft, made a living as a bicycle salesman and rode his own wheel around his hometown of Cleveland. According to the Post [12 September 1898]:

“His physical condition is so fine that he is offered insurance policies at the same figures as the average man. His strength is abnormally great. He can lift a baby grand piano without assistance and is so active and well trained physically that he can step on a street car when it is going medium speed.”

So fascinated was the public by feats of avoirdupois that the owners of the Cincinnati Post launched a nationwide hunt for America’s fattest man in 1914. The winner was promised a gold medal and, should the winner be located somewhere outside the Queen City, a bronze medal would assuage the feelings of the heftiest man in Cincinnati.

Reports of this contest filled the newspaper from late spring well into summer. (Cynics among our readers will recognize that this was the annual journalistic period known as the “Silly Season.”) It quickly became apparent that Cincinnati was not even in the running for the gold medal. No one in our fair city managed to top 400 pounds, while competitors on the east coast and the vaudeville circuit inched ever nearer to an officially certified 700 pounds. (Where was Henry Rave when we needed him?)

Harry Shuey, a cigar maker, took an early lead in Cincinnati, although he only weighed 316 pounds. His friends pushed him into the contest on the strength of his regular victories in the fat-man races at Chester Park. He claimed the hot summer had taken the edge off his appetite and that he normally weighed 345.

Shuey sank into the pack, however, when George Oberhelman waddled it. Oberhelman, a wagon driver, took a while to visit the official scale because his rheumatism had been acting up. His friends were disappointed when his legal weight came in at 388; they were sure he’d top 390. According to the Post [25 June 1914]:

“Recently, Oberhelman fell down stairs. He bumped down 16 steps and stopped at the bottom with ‘a dull, sickening thud.’ Six men picked him up and hoisted him, by means of a derrick, into a second-story window. Lifting 800-pound cattle is one of his accomplishments, and stopping work hasn’t dulled his appetite. With the exception of handkerchiefs, all his clothes are made to order.”

Oberhelman faded when a dark horse, saloonist Anthony Hueninghake roared into contention. Still unable to crack the 400 mark, Hueninghake managed to win the bronze in Cincinnati with a certified 399 ½ pounds. The national gold medal went to “Happy” Jack Eckart of Alexandria, Louisiana, who grabbed the title with all of his 739 pound immensity.

When Jack Dempsey challenged Jess Willard for the world heavyweight boxing title in 1919, tickets were impossible to find. The Cincinnati Post, rather than award a few to the fattest men in town, split the ducats among a variety of measurements – mostly displayed by fat men – such as heaviest man, largest neck, largest calf and largest chest, but also tallest man, longest reach, etc. Anthony Hueninghake won a pair of tickets based on his neck measurements, but the heaviest man in 1919 was 419-pound Joseph Denning of Mount Healthy

When Ed Houser of Elmwood Place made the news in 1922, it had as much to do with his automobile as with his weight but, at 420 pounds, Ed was no slouch in the scale-busting department. Ed was an automobile salesman. He sold Fords and made a good advertisement for their durability. Although his Ford runabout was customized to allow him to reach over his substantial girth to grab the steering wheel and had reinforcing rods welded to the chassis, it had never broken down in five years of averaging 150 miles each day. Ed had no plans to lose weight. He told the Post [26 October 1922]:

“What’s the use? You only make yourself miserable. If I lost 20 pounds, what difference would it make? I would still weigh 400 pounds. I will begin to worry when I start losing weight. I try to stay fat and happy.”

[angelicrome]

babyblue ✦ c.h

✽ requests, feedback or just asks - masterlist

pairing: calum hood x reader

warning: no. like a bit of swearing maybe.

author’s note: read it, it's great, an amazing concept. 

✽ Description: Y/N is working late as a waitress in a mediocere resturant, even though it was not what she wanted to. But the evening gets a bit more exciting when four fellas her age walks in. A certain brown boy catches her eye and she really cannot forget him. 

≠

You waddled your way through the tables. You were serving your last table. This table and then you were done for today. Over and out. You couldn’t wait to get home, get in your pyjamas and watch The Bake-Off or whatever you could find that could calm you down. Seeing people competitive bake had always had a calming effect on you.

You turned around the corner to see the last table. It was a couple and it was clearly one that had been together for a long time.

“Was that all?” You asked in your waitress-voice. It was a lot friendlier, kinder and a little bit higher than your normal voice. The couple both looked up at you. She was a redhead with freckles all over her head and some on her left arm, too. She had a thick Scottish accent and a very opening smile. The guy she was with had brown, almost black hair and were just as pale as her. His glasses were a little too nerdy and they seemed to take his focus off his charming face. You noticed she had a dazzling engagement ring on her finger.

“Yes, that would be all. And we’ll just pay in cash,” she answered and took out her purse, already looking for a wallet. The guy began his search for his wallet as well.

“Great. I’ll bring the check over.” You turned around quickly on the heel and started walking to the cashier counter and pulled out the check. It had been a busy night which was why the couple was placed in the corner, but most of the visitors had left the place almost empty. There were two friend groups who was sitting in each of their sides of the restaurant, then there was a clear first date situation who seemed to hit it off pretty well and then there was the cute couple you were serving.

You loved the restaurant you worked in with your whole heart. At daytime, it was so upbeat and energetic to be in but at nighttime, the energy soothed out and it was cosy and warm to be in. The counter and register were in the middle of the restaurant and behind it were the kitchen where there was a huge staff on Saturdays, but a small staff on Wednesdays. The tables were made of wood, the chairs were made of wood, the walls were made of woods, the floor was made of wood. Everything was made of wood, but it gave something to that cosy-vibe it had. Besides the chairs and tables were all in different pastel colours. The lights in there were bright yellow and warm and there were very few actual lamps and a lot of fairy lights. The wall decorations weren’t that expensive. There were some cheap paintings that the manager had bought in, but a lot of the wall decorations were polaroids. It was an idea that one of your friends had purposed to the manager; to have polaroids of the restaurant hanging all over the place. So some places there were plastered old and new polaroids on the walls, some were hung up nice and systematic while others were just hung up as a huge mess. It was totally random polaroids with random motives and what was on the polaroids. Some were with a couple of famous people, others were just random people who wanted to be on the wall. But again, it gave something to the vibe which you liked. It made the restaurant feel more like a home than a business.

The only two waiters left were you and your colleague Adam, who you never really liked and he never really liked you. But you talked together when you were working and you could handle each others company and that was all that mattered to you.

“I can’t wait to go home,” you said to Adam who was writing a check for two of his tables, too. He nodded to agree with you and let out a small “Mmmh” sound.

You swayed your way through the tables to the couple in the corner. The tables weren’t exactly systematic either. They were placed randomly where they looked the best - at least that’s what the manager had said. It looked like a mess. 

“Here’s your check,” you laid it on the table and began balancing the plates and glasses on your arms and fingers. You were getting pretty good at that task.

“Thank you.” The Scottish lady sang and put in half of the money and the man put on the other half.

You started walking away but turned your head to the couple as they were on their way out. “Oh, and congratulations on that ring.” You said in your normal-voice and winked. The lady chuckled and bit and the man had a wide smile on his face as he said “Thank you, I am one lucky man” and then they walked out of the restaurant. They kissed on their way out. 

You got behind the counter and started putting the dishes in the kitchen as Adam was just watching you, with widened eyes, clearly wanting to say something to you. The only people left were one of the friend groups, but they were on their way out as well. After you finished with the dishes, you dried your hands off in the pastel blue apron you had to wear for the job and started taking it off to put it under the counter for the next waiter. You could still feel Adam’s stare, so you turned to look him in the eye, with the apron still in your hand.

“What, Adam?” You sighed and clenched the apron a bit in your hand. You wanted to go home so badly.

“Well, I just wanted to ask you if you might want to cover the rest of my shift for me?” He said with a fake smile and furrowed brows. You could hear the desperation and hope in his voice but immediately cut him off.

“Adam, I just wanna go home and cuddle with my dog and sleep and text my mom and-“ and you continued while Adam was talking over you; “I just got a text from me crush telling me to come over, this is an opportunity, don’t you want me to be happy?”

You didn’t hear and didn’t care what he was saying.

“I’ll give you 100 dollars.” Adam raised his voice and said it without blinking while the two of you were standing face to face, almost in a stare-off. You weren’t gonna say no to that offer.

“Deal.” You shook his hand and gave him a small nod. “I want them in cash tomorrow morning.”

Adam nodded and put his phone in his pocket before throwing his apron under the counter. You sighed and thought to yourself that you were gonna make it. The restaurant was empty so you could just do nothing plus it was only an hour and a half before you could call it a night. An hour and a half till the clock struck 1 in the morning. You sat down on a bar stool that was always behind the counter, for times like these. It was quiet and all you could hear was the sound of the dishwasher in the kitchen. You didn’t even want to go out in the kitchen because you knew it was Tommy and Cecilia on the shift and you disliked those two more than you disliked Adam. Well, you liked Tommy, Tommy was quite nice but Cecilia was a bitch. One time she spilt the leftovers of a milkshake over you, just because you had made a joke about her hair. And not even a cruel one, just a funny, innocent joke that everyone laughed at. Ever since that day she had been mean to you - and you couldn’t handle a mean bitch right now. After all, the soreness and exhaustion had kicked in and all you wanted was to go home.

You stared right at the front door that was made of glass so you could see the very few people who were walking outside. There was that sweet couple who kept walking back and forth, laughing every time they walked past the restaurant. Then there was one shady guy who stood far away from the door, you could barely see his shadow but you knew he was there. At some point, four lads came into the picture and you leant your head back as you watched them get closer. Two of them were dressed in leather jackets and they all had a blonde-brownish hair colour except for one with very dark hair. They were on the way to the restaurant and you got up from the stool to greet them. You hoped they were nice because four men could be scary to handle when you were alone. The door opened and the little bell above the door ringed. You normally didn’t even notice that the restaurant had a bell because it was always quite loud in the room.

The first that came in was wearing a white buttoned down shirt with a leather jacket. He had long hair and he reminded you of a golden retriever. He was also the tallest. Following him were a guy with a yellow-ish sweater and black skinny jeans and a long brownish fringe. The following looked around the restaurant and for a spilt second, you had eye contact with him. He smiled shortly, making a few dimples appear. He had short, curly hair and was wearing a black leather jacket too and with a checkered shirt underneath. The last one was the most interesting. He was wearing a coral-pink slogan tee with black skinny jeans. His brown hair was a mess and his eyes were widened as if he was trying to stay awake. His cheeks were rosy and his eyes had so much depth. You tried your best not to check him out, but how could you not? He had a nice tan and quite a body which had a few beautiful tattoos on it. He looked at you, for quite a while, but he didn’t smile or anything. You gave him an insecure smile but he turned his face away. He didn’t seem unfriendly or unkind though. He just seemed like he didn’t want to go out with the three fellas in front of him.

The tallest and the guy in the yellow sweater were chuckling at something as they sat down in the middle of the room. They were sitting around a large pastel-blue wooden table with chairs in different past colours, the brown-haired and the one with the checkered shirt were talking together, quietly. They found the drink menu on the table and started discussing what they should drink. The one in the yellow sweater said that he shouldn’t drink alcohol anymore which the other three didn’t seem too happy about. They were all a little silent which didn’t really comfort you; you normally wouldn’t have four young fellas walk in at almost midnight and be that quiet.

You gave out a small groan as you found four menus behind the counter and made your way to the boys. You took your steps carefully as you prepared your waitress-voice and went over what you had to say. Welcome, I’ll be your waitress for tonight, can I take your drinks and all of that stuff.

“Hello and welcome. I’ll be your waitress for tonight. Here are the menus,” you handed out the four menus and were already tired of your own voice. It seemed too sweet, you thought to yourself.

The one with the checkered shirt mumbled: “thank you” while the tallest one whispered a small “nice” with a weird accent. They were definitely not from here. 

“Are you ready to order drinks?” You asked and put your hand in the pocket of your blue apron to look for the pen and paper that always were with the apron. The waitress outfit consisted of the baby-blue apron and white skate-dress and a pair of white heeled boots. You actually liked the outfit, it was quite adorable on you. You had your hair up in a tight ponytail but by now strands and locks of hair had just fallen out and were in your face and the tight ponytail wasn’t that tight anymore. You pulled out the paper but kept looking for the pen. But you already knew it was pointless and that you had forgotten it at the counter. “Sorry, but I forgot my pen, so I’m just gonna-“

You were cut off by the one in the checkered shirt. “Oh, I have one.” He pulled out one from his leather jacket and you couldn’t help but look surprised. The three others started laughing as the guy would try to come up with an explanation as to why he had a pen in his pocket. The explanation sounded like he was telling a joke or a funny story.  You noticed the tanned boy’s smile and couldn’t help but let out a small smile yourself.

“Now there’s another reason why I have a pen on me,” the one with the checkered shirt turned to you with a serious face. You didn’t say anything but just smiled and took the pen as he handed it to you. “It’s because I can help you. In times like these.”

You coughed lightly and nodded before returning to the rest of the table. “Thank you, I appreciate that. Now back to those drinks? Have you made up your mind?” You asked again and the one with the yellow sweater was the first to answer.

“I’ll just have a water,” he looked up at you and you noticed how blue his eyes were. Almost as blue as your apron.

“Me too,” The tallest guy said and looked at the one with the checkered shirt. “I’m way too drunk already.”

It was weird because they didn’t seem like they were hammered. Except for the guy with the checkered shirt.

“No! No waters for either of you!” He shouted with a hidden grin, making the tanned boy make a scared expression that quickly got replaced with a giggle. “This is the last show in North America and we about to fucking celebrate. Where the fuck did your party-mood go?”

You felt awkward and confused; where they a band? And the more you thought about it, the more it made sense. They sure looked as a band.

“What Ashton is trying to say here,” the tanned boy said as the first thing he even said. His voice was deep and sort of soothing - perfectly for an audiobook - or singing. Ashton was probably the one with the checkered shirt, you thought. “Is that we need, or I need two shots of tequila and then I also need a vodka/juice kind of drink.”

You noted it on the paper and looked at the three others. “I’ll take the same,” Ashton said and the other three jumped on the same wagon. You wrote it on the paper and looked at them again.

“Anything else?” You asked, knowing that they would probably buy-

“Some of your finest wine,” Ashton obnoxiously howled, taking the words out of your thought and making it a reality. It was good that they were the only ones in the restaurant because otherwise you would have had to kick that Ashton-guy out.

You nodded. “Alright. You’re probably gonna need some time to look at the menus, right?”

“Yes, that would be nice, thank you.” The tanned boy gave you a small smile. It made your stomach turn as his brown eyes met yours. They were quite simple yet complex. You hated that you wanted to stare at him, drool over him and that he already could make him blush when you didn’t even know him. You went behind the counter and started making the drinks ready.

The bar was just beside the counter and in the busy hours, there would usually stand a professional bartender for the more complex drinks. Luckily all they ordered was shots, and some drinks with only two ingredients in them so it was pretty easy for you to make. You put the drinks on a platter and took a bottle of the finest wine and walked towards the table. They had all started to become louder and louder for every minute passing. You were started to notice how drunk they were. You looked over and saw Ashton and that tanned boy giggling at something the tall boy had said. They were all pretty good looking, actually. They also seemed pretty close and you wondered if they were just a couple of gay couples hanging out.

You gave them each of their drinks and one shot each and placed the fine wine in the middle of the table.

“A’ight, we just gonna do the shots now or…” The tall one questioned, but the one with the yellow-sweater had already downed his and let out a small moan.

“Damn, that’s strong.” He murmured.

“Right, so we are gonna take the shots now.” The tall one grinned and the rest took all of their shots as you were already ready to have them order some food.

They were all chuckling and giggling like drunk sorority sisters. You didn’t know whether you should be annoyed because you weren’t home sleeping right now or if you should be thankful that the four fellas were making it a bit more fun to be working.

“Are we ready to order?” You questioned again with your waitress-voice. And they all ordered something extremely fancy and with side dishes and all but as soon as Ashton was finished with his order (his order was the longest order) he squinted his eyes at you as if he was thinking really hard.

“What’s your name, waitress-girl?” You didn’t like that nickname and knew that if you weren’t going to just answer him, that you would be called that for the rest of the night.

“Y/N.” Ashton nodded and looked around the table. “I’m Ashton.” He pointed at himself. “That’s Michael.” He pointed at the one opposite himself, the one with the yellow sweater and the fringe. “Over there is Luke.” He pointed across the table to the tall golden retriever. “And this is Calum.” He put a hand on the tanned guy’s shoulder who was sitting right next to him.

“I’ll be over with your food in just a second.” You said and walked away from the four lads who immediately started talking like they were hens as soon as you were gone. You went out to the kitchen to be met by Tommy, who looked like he wanted to go home too.

“Here Tommy. That’s probably the last thing you’ll be doing today,” you gave him the note where you had written the four boys’ orders on and Tommy let out a huge groan and let his head fall backwards in exhaustion.

“I can’t do this anymore! I am so quitting tomorrow.” He said and began finding bowls and ingredients and putting them on the table. You nodded to try and make him feel better but knew that a small nod wouldn’t help. Tommy had been planning to quit for a while but he had a huge crush on the manager, so it was harder for him to quit. And there were reasons to quit: the work environment was great, the money was not.

You went out to the counter again and found your phone. 23.44. The worst thing was that you weren’t allowed to kick the boys out till 2. That was the policy, close the doors at 1, lock them at 2. You hoped and prayed that the four lads were quick eaters. You looked over and noticed that they had already opened up the wine and were now pouring it up. You got eye contact with Luke and regretted it afterwards because he opened his mouth and waved you over.

“Y/N, we need something!” He shouted and you walked over to them with the waitress smile.

“Refills?” You noticed how all of their other drinks were empty. They were quick drinkers, so they must be quick eaters, too.

“No, not yet,” Michael said.

Ashton turned to you with his whole body and began talking. “See, we have a situation here-“

“No, we don’t.” Calum interrupted. “We really don’t.”

“Yes, we do,” Michael yelled and gave a small nod to Ashton to get him to continue.

“Thank you, Michael. And you-“ Ashton twisted around to face Calum quickly and pointed a strict and judging finger at him. “should just shut up because we are actually doing something nice for you.”

“No, no, you shouldn’t do it. You should stop doing it.” Calum said with a serious expression. While the other three were having a blast, Calum was clearly not.

“What’s wrong, guys?” You had forgotten to use your waitress-voice but they didn’t seem to care so you decided not to care anymore.

“Okay, so Y/N you might want to pull out a chair,” Ashton said and you pulled out a chair at the end of the table and looked at Ashton who had turned to face you again. “Calum Hood over there is very much single and he is very much attracted to you. He told me. And that’s why he is kind of quiet and shy and kind of mad right now.”

You didn’t know what to do. It was a rare situation that and something you hadn’t experienced before. It wasn’t rare to be hit on as a waitress but it was rare that a friend would hit on you for another friend. You just chuckled and gave Calum a small glare. His cheeks were redder than normal and he seemed small in comparison to the three other lads. He seemed so innocent and sweet instead of a tall bad boy with tattoos - the impression you had gotten from him at first.

“It’s not true,” He whispered and tried to look at Luke, almost as a scream for help. But Luke just poured a bit more wine in his glass and mumbled ‘You’re gonna need it’ and then Ashton continued.

“So we, us three, decided that we wanted to help our dear friend out a little bit since he’s too shy to talk to you yourself.”

“I’m not shy, Y/N, I can talk to her myself with no problem, you fucking idiot,” Calum said and gave Ashton a punch on his shoulder before looking at you. “Listen, Y/N, I am talking to you right now.”

“Yes, you sure are.” You grinned. It was amazing how he would go from a bad boy to sweetie to goofball in seven seconds. He seemed wise, you thought as if he had lived longer than the others even though he looked the youngest. He was like a wise goofball. You smiled at the thought; wise goofball.

“I’m not really a big talker, I’m not that good with words.” Calum then said, out of nowhere. Ashton cut him off pretty quickly.

“Right so we were thinking that-“ He burped and giggled while looking at the company around him. The giggle reached his eyes. “Sorry ‘bout that. We were thinking that maybe me, Mike and Luke could figure out how compatible you were with Calum Hood by asking you some questions. And if you were compatible with him, you would give him your number. Or kiss him or something. ”

“You know because we want to help our friend and you don’t seem like you have anything to do around here,” Luke said in a mocking tone and looked around the restaurant as if he was expecting to somehow find other people hiding in the corners. “Like there is nobody else.” It seemed like he was finished talking so Michael opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Luke, again. “And your job is actually to make our experience the best experience. So you can kind of say that doing this is your job.”

“But if you don’t want to, you don’t have to. It’s not your job.” Calum muttered, leaning his head on his hand to see you.

“Wait, do you have a boyfriend, Y/N? Because then doing the quiz isn’t really that useful.” Michael inquired. Calum looked at you with wide eyes. His eyes reminded you of home; they felt so warm and safe. You wondered what you should answer; if you said yes, then you shouldn’t deal too much with four drunk lads - but if you said no that meant that you either got a handsome guy’s phone number or a kiss from him. There really was no big downside to it.

“No, I don’t. If Calum is okay with it, then you can ask me any questions you want.” You answered and got up from the chair. You stood behind it and looked down at the four guys who were all looking up at you. You were sort of waiting for an answer from Calum, but he didn’t really seem to understand that so there was silence for a while before you opened your mouth again. “Calum, are you okay with the small compatible-or-not quiz your friends are hosting?”

“Yes, yes. I am more than okay with it.” He said in awe and his cheeks flamed up a bit as he had realized what he had said. Ashton giggled at him; he had quite a charming laugh.

“Great. I’ll go look to the food and see if it’s ready.” You said and twisted around on your heel, on your way to the kitchen but turned your head to face the table as you were walking. “Oh, and I have some questions for you four, too.”

Michael gave you a big thumbs up and Luke just yelled something with ‘can’t wait’ and ‘up the sleeve’. As you got to the kitchen you saw Tommy in full swing, making the food. He was almost finished, he said as you opened the door. You could feel his stress and could almost see a sweat drop trickle down his temple. It also smelled like sweat - actually more like a mixture of sweat and deep-fried fries. Tommy was always stressing when he was cooking, even though he would only have to cook for four people. He was just that passionate about it. You decided to wait in the kitchen until he was finished so you jumped up on one of the clean counters and told him about the four fellas who had convinced you to do a quiz. It was mostly you talking, Tommy just made noises like ‘mm’ and ‘yea’, but you knew that you couldn’t get more out of him when he was cooking.

Cecilia came around the corner and you were almost sure you accidentally rolled eyes at her, even though you tried not to. While she annoyed you at times, you were learned by your family that you should be kind to all people - even those people who weren’t kind to you. But with Cecilia, it was easier said than done.

“Jesus, why would anyone even be interested in you at this point?” She said, clearly having overhead what you had talked about.

“Excuse me?” You turned around to face her. She was leaning up against a broom that she had been cleaning with and had an awfully cocky smile on her lips. She was pretty hot and that was what annoyed you the most.

“I mean, it’s been a long day. Your eyeliner smudged, your hair’s falling apart and the only lipstick there’s still on your face is on your teeth. Not to mention the stains on the uniform.” She chuckled.

Your face was getting hotter as you opened your mouth wide open, surprised, but not that surprised, that she would say that. Your hands clenched around the counter you were sitting on.

“What?” You sneered.

“You know I’m saying it as a friend, Y/N.” Cecilia swept a little dirt to the side, then to the other as if she was playing a game. She sure as hell wasn’t making the floor cleaner. “All I’m pointing out is that maybe you should fix yourself up a bit.”

You closed your eyes and fought back the urge to punch her in the face. She was like a school bully, expect it wasn’t school and you couldn’t just threaten her with a fake karate-kick. Tommy clearly could feel the tension because he very loudly yelled: “Food’s ready!” as he was putting the last details on the plates. You jumped down from the counter, took two plates on each arm, kicked the door open and started walking out of there with your chin held high. You were not going to allow her to make you feel bad about yourself.

“There’s food, fellas.” You sang as you got around to the table. You placed the plates in front of each person while listing their order. You had almost forgotten Ashton’s so you just put some fancy dinner names in the order and he seemed pleased with that.

“A’ight, you can sit down again, Y/N,” Ashton said and you took the same spot at the end of the table. They all had the same excited expression that kids had when they saw the ice-cream truck - except for Calum. He had the expression of a lactose intolerant kid when the ice-cream truck came and all of his friends ran to get a treat but he had to silently watch them enjoy the ice-cream. Yup, that summed up the expression of Calum’s face at that moment.

“You said you had some questions for us, too?” Luke said with food in his mouth. You nodded and began asking some of the questions that you had pondered about. You got the whole schmeer, the whole timeline of their friendship. How Luke had started making videos on YouTube and how Calum and Michael had joined and they called themselves 5 Seconds of Summer, which they still did to this day. And how Ashton’s former band took a hiatus so he eventually joined 5 Seconds of Summer. You did not realize that they were from Australia until they told you because their accents were not obvious. You were surprised at how you didn’t know exactly who they were since they toured with One Direction, so you asked them to sing some songs. Which resulted in them singing different songs each and you recognizing three of them then fangirling a bit over them. You decided to take a polaroid of them to hang on the wall and you told them about the restaurant's messy theme. 

The four boys kept buying drinks for themselves and for you which meant that you had to get up every time they ordered another. You started feeling the alcohol swirling around your body and confounding your brain.

“Okay, I have one last question.” You drunkenly said and looked at Calum. “Why are you still single?”

A chuckle escaped Calum’s lips, as his ears and cheeks were rosy from the alcohol. He gazed into your eyes, his crinkling up as he smiled and answered: “You just might find out one day.”

At first, you didn’t say anything. You scrunched up your nose and then grinned at him before Ashton raised his glass, now filled with whiskey and toasted. “Let the quiz begin!” He chimed his glass against yours and took a huge sip out of the whiskey.

“Now, Y/N, we need to know a little bit about you,” Luke said, leaning closer to you, even though Michael was sitting in the middle of you two. “Tell us about yourself, girl.” He said the last thing very cheerfully.

You panicked because you knew you had an awfully complex mind to explain to people who didn’t know you. “Uh, I live in an apartment close to my college and…” and so you continued. Went through the basics. Your family and pets and closest friends. Your favourite colour and your favourite food.

“That’s great, Y/N, but we need to know you.” Ashton interrupted you at some point which relieved you because you were almost falling asleep telling about your favourite cake. “Like… what is the best and worst romantic situation you’ve ever been in? And what would you change about that situation?”

“Jesus,” you said under your breath. Ashton sounded so thoughtful and not drunk at all. He sounded like a wise love doctor. But his nose was red as Rudolf’s so you knew he wasn’t going to remember much of the night. “Uh, I think the best one was a fling I had a few months back.”

“What went wrong?” Ashton inquired and suddenly you were spilling out all your secrets and insecurities. They kept asking questions like “How was your childhood?” and “Who do you want to switch lives with? And why?” and “What’s your deepest regret?” and “If you could change how your mind works, would you?”. They were good. The questions were honest and emotional, just like the answers. You normally didn’t open up like that to anyone, but a few drinks down and a couple of good listeners could apparently make you open up like that.

It wasn’t just Ashton, Luke and Michael who asked the questions. Most of the time it was actually Calum that kept the conversation flowing. Sometimes he would come with his own point of view, his own story. It calmed you down, knowing that it was just a conversation and not an interrogation. And it wasn’t an all serious conversation - there were jokes and mispronunciations and funny stories which all led to some good laughs. And you found yourself looking at Calum every time he laughed.

At some point, Tommy and Cecilia wanted to get home so they gave you the key - or Cecilia threw it in your face and said something smart, but you were tipsy so you didn’t care. They told you to lock up the restaurant and treat the last guests with kindness. You told them that of course, you would treat them with kindness and Cecilia rolled her eyes at you. You turned around to face the table again and some new straightforward questions were asked.

“Do you believe in love?” A quiet moment had passed and Ashton had asked the question without any warning.

You bit your lip, thinking back to the couple that you had served two hours ago. “It depends on what kind of day I’m having.”

“What about today?”

You caught the brown warm eyes of Calum before answering, holding his glare. “Today I do.”

Michael whistled which made Luke punched him lightly on the arm. You felt your heart pounding against your chest as a huge smile approached your face - just like a huge smile approached Calum’s.

“Oh my God, they’re so in love,” Luke whispered, clearly unaware that he had said that out loud. You all chose to ignore it.

“Okay, I think we figured it out,” Ashton announced. “Drum roll, please. Oh wait, I’m the drummer.” He giggled and began drumming with his hands on the table. “The truth is… that we are just idiots and don’t know anything about love or how compatible you are.”

Luke wheezed loudly and Calum almost snorted out his drink out through his nose.

“But!” Michael belted, not satisfied with Ashton’s evaluation. “I think that the two of you would make a great, great couple and that you should definitely have sex.”

“Oh!” You laughed. “Oh, okay.” Calum laughed with you and you felt your stomach turned around as he smiled. “Would you like to pay now?”

Ashton chugged the last of his drink. “Yes, ma'am, we would very much like to pay. Then we’re getting out of here because it’s almost half past two and we have a show tomorrow.”

You had forgotten they were in a band and you made a little ‘o’ with your face. “Where?” You questioned as you stood up and got behind the counter.

“Here. Tomorrow noon. You should come.” Michael shouted from the table as they were all getting up from their chairs. Calum yawned and he stretched out, whispering something to Ashton. Should you ask for his phone number or was that taking it too far? You hadn’t been declared compatible, you had just been talking. But on the other hand, it felt like a connection

Luke came over and paid quickly with card. His eyes were almost popping out of his head when he saw how much it cost. He told the rest of the band that they owned him big time and they told him that if it weren’t for their presence, he wouldn’t be famous to which he just sighed and put his card back in his wallet. They waved at you as you were taking off your apron and putting it down under the counter and you yelled goodbye to them as they were walking out of the door. Calum was walking with Ashton, talking so quietly it was impossible for you to hear what they were discussing. He seemed bothered as he fiddled with his fingers and the thick silver rings he was wearing. Was he really just gonna walk away?

No. You liked this guy and had a feeling that he liked you, too. “Calum!” Luke was closing the door until you yelled at the tattooed boy. Calum twisted his head and you were met by some fetching eyes and a wide grin he was trying to suppress.

“Uh, would you just…?” You waved at him to come over and the boys just kept looking at he got closer. One step at a time. The only thing that was between the two of you were the counter and you hated that there was something between you two. You face was almost touching his and you could smell the vodka/orange juice-combination on his tongue. You noticed the black stubbles on his chin and how the small moles were placed, reminding you of a star constellation. A vague smile was on his lips and his thick eyebrows were raised a bit. You could hear the boys chat and whisper behind him but you decided to shut them out - or try to at least.

“I think I’m a little drunk.” You began with a foolish giggle. “But I feel like we can talk pretty well and you’re pretty cute and if you want my number-“ you quickly found a napkin and a pen under the counter. “Then it’s here. Just, if you want to, you know.”

“Thanks. You know, I might be pretty drunk, too, but I think you’re cute as well.” Calum smirked and folded the napkin in his hand. He leant in over the counter and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek before twisting around and walking to the boys who were all standing with wide grins plastered on their faces.

“We’ll call you about the show tomorrow,” Michael yelled as they walked out of the door. “Now that we have your phone number.” And then the glass door slammed and you could see how Luke was jumping around Calum and Ashton was clapping his shoulder all while Calum was just trying his best to push them away from him with a snicker.

You turned to the table where they had sat and begun carrying the dishes out in the kitchen. There was a lot of empty glasses.

You could see Calum’s eyes for you, you couldn’t stop thinking about him, about them and about the lingering kiss on your cheek. And soon the first text from him chimed in and you pulled out your phone. It was a simple invitation to tomorrow’s show. 

You went to the show a little earlier and went backstage where you and Calum talked for a while. There was a lot happening and he would try and explain all of it. The rituals, the people, everything that they had experienced. You felt a comfort around him and found the same depth and safety to his eyes that you did the day before. Even when it was just the two of you even when you were sober. You watched the show from behind the stage. Calum looked focused, as his eyebrows sometimes would furrow when he was concentrating on a ridiculously hard bass line. You were so fucking attracted to him at that moment. At one point, during some random song you didn’t know, he looked at you and a wide grin reached his dark eyes. 

The show ended and the boys walked out one by one, taking deep breaths. Luke and Michael went out first and they both gave you a quick hug and a smile. The sweat was dripping and the adrenaline was pumping as they got out and started yelling about the show. You didn’t care though, because you could see Calum coming closer, walking straight towards you, determination in his eyes. A few inches from you and he pulled you closer by your waist. You pressed your lips against his and closed your eyes, completely letting go into the kiss. The smell of sweat lingered around you but you didn’t care. A vague taste of nicotine was playing on his lips but again you didn’t care. Your stomach was doing flips, as you held your hands around his neck, never wanting to let the kiss end. You could hear the fans screaming and crying and hear Luke and Michael’s not so subtle whistles but it seemed like background noise when compared to your racing heart. It felt like magic. Before Calum pulled away, he smiled slightly into the kiss. Then he let go of your waist and you quickly did the same thing. 

Calum scratched the back of his head and looked at the ground before offering you a drink. You said yes and he guided you away, away from the scene and away from the boys. In a private place, a place where you could talk and get to know each other.

And you did. You stayed up all night, not leaving Calum’s side. You never knew that you could fall in love so quickly with someone, but suddenly there was proof that you could. 

≠

longer author’s note: okay i have no idea what happened with this one, but it turned out long and amazing. i’m thinking of doing a lil smutty part 2 but i don’t know - what do y’all think?

request or talk to me here 

masterlist here

[nique-clare]

Melbourne, Australia

18 August 2018 - 25 August 2018

Azrie and I booked a flight to Melbourne early May this year. Agreeing to go overseas together was impromptu (what could go wrong going on a trip with your best friend?) but we did plan when it came to our flights, accommodation, and places we were to visit. We intended to visit our friends who are studying there as well as to have an overseas trip together before his internship started. I’ve always wanted to study in Australia – and migrate there, if I ever have the opportunity to – but that didn’t happen of course, so travelling there was enough to make me excited. Besides, the last time I went Down Under was in 2004 and I barely have any recollection of it. I went to Gold Coast and Brisbane, I think. I only remember feeding parrots, going to the beach, and an amusement park. But I digress. Here’s what we did in Australia last week.

18 August, Saturday

We met at Changi Airport somewhere between 9 - 9.30am, and did some window shopping after we checked in and entered the transit area. We were due for take off at 11am, but our flight was delayed till about an hour later. Nonetheless, I was more than happy to be leaving Singapore. As we flew with Scoot, we had to rely on ourselves for entertainment throughout the flight. Even though I slept around 3.30am and woke up at 7am, I could barely nap on the plane. We ended up watching a couple of episodes of Elementary that I downloaded on Netflix while eating our lunch on board and sneaked in naps here and there. As I’m a sucker for nature, I couldn’t help but be mesmerised by the sunset towards the end of our flight. Here’s one of the many pictures that I took.

Once we reached Melbourne, we had a few issues with our Visas but that was quickly resolved, and we went to the pick up point to meet Chavin. It was about 7ºC outside, I think, and it was raining and windy. After what seemed like an eternity of trying to locate his car in the cold, we set off to get a late dinner and picked Gloria up. We then dropped by the Coles supermarket across his apartment to get my SIM card before walking back to enjoy our steaming hot and spicy Mala goodness. Even though we booked our own Airbnb apartment, we stayed over his place that night.

19 August, Sunday

Our initial plan was for me to attend mass in a nearby church while Azrie checked into our Airbnb before we went to Phillip Island. Unfortunately, I overslept (Sorry God) so I ended up going to our apartment with Azrie as Chavin and Gloria waited for us downstairs. We had to retrieve our key from a convenience store across the road but we went to the wrong one instead (the one beside our building’s entrance). We had to drag our luggage in the rain but on the bright side, we met a little sweetheart whom I guess belongs to one of the staff.

I didn’t take any pictures but here’s the link for our Airbnb (below’s the view from our apartment, though). It was so cozy and the view was beautiful. I wouldn’t mind staying there again when I visit Melbourne in the future. I’ll be back for sure hahaha. After unpacking our luggage, we met with Chavin and Gloria again before picking Syahmi up. We finally set off for Phillip Island around noon. We stopped by a gas station on the way, and the foodie side of me got a little excited when I saw that they had a mini bakery in the attached convenience store, as well as pre-made hot drinks (basically the powder was provided, all you had to do was pour hot water in). We were soon back on the road and reached the island approximately an hour later.

We had our lunch straightaway as we missed the pelican feeding session, and had a mini feast of fish and chips at Fisherman’s Wharf. We fed our leftovers to the seagulls and headed to the Koala Conservation Centre after dropping by the beach. Despite not being able to fulfil my dream of carrying a koala, we did get to see several of them and even managed to stand less than a mere metre away from one. Part of the centre was also closed, but we managed to see wallabies and exotic looking birds (to me at least) along the main path, so I still enjoyed myself regardless.

As we didn’t intend to spend the night on the island, we had to hurry to our next destination – the Penguin Parade. The weather became colder and slightly unbearable as the sky turned dark, but waiting for the penguins to emerge from the icy waters was worth it as we were treated to several groups of them waddling for almost a good half an hour. Some of their slightly erratic behaviours gave us a good laugh now and then, contributing to their already adorable appearances. 

We left before it became too late, and set off for our dinner location, YOMG Mornington, possibly because I asked Chavin if there were any good burger shacks around (foodie in me, once again). The eatery was in a town that seemed deserted and quiet (then again, it was already 9pm), not unlike the areas we passed through to get there. As if the darkness was not eerie enough, we listened to conspiracy theories and unsolved crimes/mysteries on the way. About YOMG Mornington, to put it simply, the food was amazing. We pretty much ate the same type of burgers (the Yo My with Cheese and the Kingsway) and shared the Chilli Cheese and Nacho Curly Fries as well. We had yogurt afterwards, which comprised a couple of unique flavours and toppings which weren’t really to my liking, but still worth trying. The ambience was also rather lovely and quaint and I wished that we could have stayed there a little while longer. The drive back to Melbourne took about an hour so we left shortly after our late dinner.

20 August, Monday – 21 August, Tuesday

The next two days were hellish, to say the least. To spare the details, Azrie and I were down with norovirus, or in other words, the winter vomiting bug. Azrie started displaying symptoms in the morning on Monday and me, on Tuesday. I either got it from him and or we got it from our lunch on Sunday (we ordered grilled fish while the rest had theirs battered – none of them fell sick). We spent both days in the apartment with nausea, stomach pains, and fever, and had to make trips to the clinic. We spent quite a bit on Uber these two days, but we were too sick to walk anywhere, except for that one trip to the ubiquitous Chemist Warehouse in a nearby town (Errol Street, I think) to get our medicine. Unlike Singapore, the clinics in Australia don’t have pharmacies attached to them. On a positive note, we managed to visit the Melbourne Observatory at night on Monday and attended a tour that lasted from 8 - 9.30pm. We were learned about the history of the site and were also fortunate to be able to view Jupiter from a large – floor to ceiling high! – telescope.

22 August, Wednesday

We were well enough to travel around on Wednesday despite our lack of appetites. We walked for half an hour to our recommended-by-Chavin lunch location, Universal Restaurant on Lygon Street. Azrie had the Chicken Parmigiana and Fried Chicken (basically meatballs) while I had the Marinara pasta. The weather was relatively warmer then so we enjoyed our lunch al fresco.

After barely finishing half of what we ordered – kudos to the norovirus – we went to the Old Melbourne Gaol, which ceased its operations in 1994. We had a slight taste of what it was like to be arrested in a tour of the City Watch House, before proceeding to the jail connected to it. I’ve always been interested in history and culture and I truly enjoyed the two hours we spent there. Though it was already closed, we walked to the Federation Square afterwards to appreciate its architecture (but stopped by the State Library of Victoria before that). We then strolled along the Yarra River beside the Federation Square.

The Winter Night Market at the Queen Victoria Market opens on Wednesday nights from 5pm - 10pm only, so we decided to have our dinner there. We rested for a while at our Airbnb after visiting the Old Melbourne Gaol before walking over to the market at 8pm. The atmosphere was surprisingly lively as there was a live band and other activities such as the silent disco and what seemed like a machine operated puppet show. There were many seemingly tantalising menus available and I wish that I had my appetite then. Azrie bought a cajun chicken and rice set and we shared a chicken skewer. After walking around a little more (and after I purchased a gorgeous pair of $35 light teal coloured crystal and tassel earrings – yes, it was worth it), we had a Nutella and peanut butter sundae. We met up with Chavin and Gloria, and Chavin came over to our apartment afterwards. We watched the endlessly nonsensical but otherwise entertaining The Interview before heading to bed. 

23 August, Thursday

As usual, we skipped breakfast and went straight for brunch instead. We ate at an Indonesian restaurant along Lygon Street (I can’t seem to find it on Google. I think it’s new). Azrie ordered rice with chicken and I had noodles with chicken, and we shared a dish of sambal kang kong. The avocado shake I ordered was sweet and refreshing. 

We walked to the National Gallery of Victoria after that. We saw a myriad of artworks in various exhibitions, and I wouldn’t mind going there again. We didn’t get to go to the Museum of Modern Art exhibition as we didn’t have much time left before meeting Chavin to get food for our barbecue dinner, but it’s definitely on my bucket list – should I ever visit New York City.

We walked to the Coles across Chavin’s after that, and dropped by the Spencer Outlet Centre en route. We didn’t buy anything as we didn’t have time, but we returned there on Saturday anyway. About the barbecue – there was smoke in his area for some reason. We waited for it to die down – and for Syahmi, Gloria, Caroline, and Natalie to arrive – and finally commenced our barbecue. We had a great night of scrumptious food, talking, and rounds of Exploding Kittens. Chavin drove us back to our Airbnb after all the fun.

24 August, Friday

Azrie, Chavin and I embarked on a day road trip to the Grampians, which took approximately three hours to reach by driving. I can’t emphasise enough how amazing Australia is, and one reason is because of our simple yet tasty lunch: two boxes of 24-piece nuggets for $10/box (!!!). I digress once again. I can’t help it, I’m a foodie. We were treated to beautiful sceneries on the way, and here’s one of the views that I captured.

As if I wasn’t already in awe of the nature that surrounded us, the Grampians took my breath away again. As I mentioned in my previous post, I don’t particularly favour cities and prefer nature instead. The Grampians was just that. We stopped by an information centre to ask for potential sites to head to, and bought ice cream before going back to Chavin’s car. Within seconds of boarding, we caught sight of a field filled with kangaroos, and of course we stopped the car. We stayed for about 15 minutes and carried on with our journey.

We decided to visit the Mackenzie Falls, Lake Wartook, and the Reeds Lookout (during sunset). No words can describe the beauty of these places, and I’m still in awe. My favourite place was Lake Wartook. We also saw an emu on the way.

We left before it got too dark and drove to our dinner location, The Red Door Pizzeria. The three of us shared two pizzas: the Authentic Peking Duck and Shredded Beef and Mushroom. Dinner, like the rest of the meals we had in the country, was absolutely delectable. We headed back after our meal after our bellies were filled. On a side note, we didn’t exactly get to go stargazing on this trip as we planned to, but we managed to get clear views of the starry night sky to and fro The Red Door Pizzeria. We picked Gloria up on the way back to our Airbnb and played a few rounds of Exploding Kittens before calling it a night.

25 August, Saturday

Our last day was spent shopping at the Direct Factory Outlets South Wharf. We checked out of our Airbnb and left our luggage at Chavin’s first thing in the morning. We took about 15 minutes to walk to the outlets after that. Before shopping, we had brunch at Citizen Cafe Bar, an eatery just outside the building. Azrie had pancakes with ice cream while I had Free Range Eggs Anyway, which was scrambled eggs on sourdough toast. I also had a bliss ball to go, which was a little snack ball coated in coconut and comprised cacao, nuts, and jam, I think. After a few hours of shopping, I got a few pieces of clothing – a Fila tank top and crop top and a Lorna Jane sports bra and mesh tights – while Azrie got a pair of Fila socks, alongside other gifts for our friends back in Singapore. On the way back to Chavin’s – yes, we walked again – we took photos at a 1970s classic photo booth. We were unprepared the first time, so we ended up taking another set of photos. We spotted a comic book store, All Star Comics, after that and popped in for a while before resuming our journey. 

That’s it for our Melbourne trip! It was really dreadful having to return to Singapore knowing that we could have visited more places if we didn’t fall sick, plus my new semester was to begin the day after touching down. Nevertheless, I had a great time in such a beautiful country with perfect company. I’m definitely going to visit Australia again, and possibly explore the other states too.