#also half-life alyx is kinda terrifying sometimes

[deckof-dragons]

Oh, the joys of VR, letting me lovely caress a monstrous (alien?) being. Did he respond to me cupping his face like I was his lover about to tenderly kiss him? No but that's okay because I love him anyway.

I'm talking Gary from Half-Life Alyx by the way. I had to google his name because I'd forgotten it because I'm bad at names. That doesn't make the time I spent with him any less meaningful though.

[alienseason]

Okay gaymers, the HLVRAI x Half Life x Portal crossover star trek au. YES i know it sounds like I’m a TWISTED CYCLEPATH BUT HEAR ME OUT OKAY. 

HLVRAI Gordon is the Captain! He’s human and has a robotic hand that somehow always ends up breaking for practically no reason. Joshie is there too! Joshie is not immune to Wesley sweaters i’m sorry. But Joshie is practically thrown around the ship when it comes to baby sitting; he usually ends up in Benrey’s care whether Gordon likes it or not.

Gordon’s first officer is Chell, who is an ex-b (ex-borg). She doesn’t talk much due to being an ex-b, as she doesn't really know how to make conversation. She’s still got some borg enhancments in place, and she isnt completly severed from the collective, but nobody else is aware. The borg queen, GlaDOS, is always being REALLY naggy and annoying to her in her brain. She’s not as annoying as Wheatly though. 

The Chief of security is Barney! He’s usually good at his job, but he spaces out a lot on the bridge. He’s really into political conspiracies and hates pretty much anything that crawls on four legs (unless they're frog or lizard-like). Barney’s spends A LOT of time being reckless n rowdy on the holodeck and usually ends up in sickbay with a bad leg. He’s just a southern space himbo, he cannot change this. He’s dating Matthew and sometimes fakes sick to go see him (we’ll get to Matthew later).

Bubby is the Chief science officer. He’s a cardassian because eat hot chip and lie. Nobody really trusts him...he kinda goes out of his way to seem suspicious just to mess with people. There’s a big rumor on the ship that he’s a spy, and this inflates his ego 100%. 

Alright....Benrey is a Q. Or Qrey if you prefer. He just kinda comes on the ship to cause mischief and annoy Captain Gordon. He’s always asking for Delta quadrant credentials, no matter where they are. He has an obsession with the holodeck and is always messing around with everyone’s programs. Like he made one of Gordon’s relaxing fishing programs turn into a bank robbery, ya know, for fun.

Tommy is an android and is the operations officer/ lieutenant commander. He’s got an up-link to Space Wikipedia in his system so he uses this to his advantage. Benrey gave him emotions (cause he was bored and kinda wanted someone to listen to him) but practically the only emotion that works properly is happiness, so he isn't that good at reading the room. He has a habit of giving the wrong info at the wrong time, but he tries his best! He also has Sunkist in his quarters.

Canon Gordon is named Matthew, and is HLVRAI Gordon’s brother (kinda based off @maxkillertart​ ‘s freeman brothers AU). He’s the Chief medical officer and just wants to do his job and have drinks with his boyfriend...that’s all he asks. He’s actually an augment, but the procedure KINDA messed up. He’s still basically a superhuman, he’s just mute and hard of hearing due to the augmentation going wrong. Gordon is the only one who knows about him being an augment since it’s still illegal in starfleet at this point.

Coomer is a quite broken Vorta clone that kinda gets thrown into their care. He was being produced durning an attack on the cloning phacillity he was born at so his dna is a little scrambled. He’s usually repeating random things and is always punching people for no reason. He and bubby are a terrifying force. Do not let them mix. 

Alyx is the chief engineer. You might think she’s the most sane one on the ship- but you are quite incorrect. She usually ends up making some sort of weird enhancements to the ship that were DEFIANTLY NOT NEEDED. She won’t stop though, and nobody can stop her. She’s got a big crush on Chell, so she’s usually attempting to impress her by making dumb little inventions. Alyx is always the one who is working on Gordon’s arm and giving Tommy a tune-up. 

Gman is secretly a Q who works for section 31. He’s always trying to recruit the Freemans, which always ends up in a no (though Gordon is tempted). He was the one who built Tommy in the first place.