#also gotou's look was so. fond. ok then.

[5-pp-man]

Masayoshi; "Hey Gotou san I kinda feel bad for the villains when they blow up <:("

Gotou; "Nah it's fine don't worry about it"

Masayoshi; "Ok :) yayy"

[ankhisms]

ok i rewatched episode 20 because @oddestera said it was a turning point in ankh and eiji and hinas relationships along with gotou and dates and i totally agree but also im (shaking and screaming) so heres my ramblings

this episode really hits harder after having finished the series and knowing how these characters and their dynamics progress because really ankh and eiji have been fighting together for 20 episodes now, theyre getting past the initial first meeting and clashing of ideals and i think this is kind of the very beginning of where we see ankh really starting to struggle with his humanity. i mean arguably hes struggling with the concept of humanity and what it means to be human from the very beginning but i mean its starting to be a more conscious struggle after this episode because how hes treating others is being brought up and how he feels about his body is brought into question as well.

this is of course the episode where THROW YOUR BOYFRIEND THURSDAY happens which is still so wild to watch but i do really love how hina reacts to it its very much like shes scolding her sibling when you look at it a bit out of context but really what got me thinking about their change in dynamic is the lines hina says about how she says she hates him and all he does is cause problems and that he does it in her brothers body.

i feel like part of what she says is fueled by anger and not necessarily the full truth of how she feels about ankh at this point, i think that at this point in the show shes already feeling more fond of him and certainly doesnt hate him but again saying OH I HATE YOU very much seems like a kind of sibling argument thing to say. but then i compare that to the very end of the show and hina absolutely doesnt hate ankh nor does she think he just causes problems, she seeks him out in the end to try and 1. see if hes okay 2. see if hes going to help eiji and also she sees him as a person seperate from her brother who she sees as another sibling and cares about. its just very interesting again to see how much these dynamics develop and again this is the kind of changing point where i think after this episode and in the arcs close to it things start to really change and shift more closer to how their dynamics are near the end of the show.

moving on to eiji. when hes talking to the one guy who kind of rescues him from the water after yknow. getting thrown into it. he talks about how ankh has been like this from the start and that this isnt necessarily a betrayal, that ankh is just like this. he isnt happy about it and he calls ankh a jerk and then later when he realizes theres danger he gets up to get ready to fight despite being injured and the guy who saved him is like youre going out alone and eiji goes no ill have help from a certain jerk and the guy is like theres no way hes coming to save you now!! after the way he betrayed you!! you were saying what a jerk he was earlier! and eiji says "youre right, i definitely cant trust him, but defeating yummies is the one thing i can count on him for maybe because i know what hes after, its the one constant." and the guy responds "how can you be so sure?" and MEANWHILE ankh is having a parallel conversation with hina, where he says "if eiji is alive, hell come"

and that makes me fucking LOSE IT. like again comparing to the end of the show, eiji absolutely trusts ankh and ankh trusts eiji, but right now they dont have that trust in each other YET this is the beginning of them tentatively building it. because what they do have is certainty in one another, eiji is sure that ankh is going to be there just like ankh is sure that eiji will be there.

theyre certain in one another and are relying on one another in that way, and thats the beginning of their trust in one another. also i think at this point that they already have begun to understand each other on certain levels, even when their ideals clash they can still just kind of Get the other person yknow. anyway those two parallel scenes is again the start of building trust in one another

speaking of trust! ill get back to ankh eiji and hina but now my train of thought is on gotou and date because i think that similarly to the others change in dynamics starting in this episode, theres a shift in date and gotous dynamic here too. gotou very much seems like he feels ashamed of how desperately he wanted to be birth, he calls feeling that way "pathetic" and date is like oh dont be like that where its like gotou is being too hard on himself for not being birth (yet) and having wanted to be so badly. and then date takes him and shows him the gun and how bad the recoil is, he says look, this is really hard, its painful and its difficult, and even if you wanted to be birth right now you couldnt be because youre just not physically up to it. but thats okay, im giving you this so that you can train with it, despite gotou having protested to date giving him the gun.

its honestly really sweet, gotou is very vulnerable in this point of the show and probably has been just beating himself up over not being up to the challenge of being birth. and date kind of shakes him out of that and gives him a tool which he can use to try and better himself and work towards his goal. and i think thats a level of trust as well, on both of their ends with date trusting gotou to be diligent enough to train and to take what date is saying seriously, and gotou trusting date in letting him see himself vulnerable and failing to shoot the gun and then still being like yes, yes i will try again, and accepting the gun from him. anyway folks is it gay for you and another man to both be kamen rider birth? theyre very sweet i love date and gotou so much! i see this part of the show as them just kind of starting to date and having feelings for one another its again, the beginning of trust and partnership growing between them

ok returning to the main trio i noticed that this might be one of the first (or one of the first few maybe i feel like he mightve protected her in a previous episode as well) instances of ankh instinctively protecting hina from danger, she comes up from behind while the battle is going on and ankh puts up his arm to hold her back from getting too close but then theres explosions and he ducks with her to shield her from it. then hina has one of his medals and she says shell let him have it if he lets eiji use it and theres soo much conflict on ankhs face because 1. eiji has kept the fact that kogami had one of his core medals from him which is kind of understandable since again, before this point when he found out he didnt know how much he should trust ankh 2. those are HIS MEDALS and he feels very protective of them and his entire reason for existing at this point is trying to become whole again and trying to get as many of his medals back as he can. and hina is asking him to give eiji those medals.

which is sooo (chefs kiss) when comparing it to the end of the show and the final gen movie, where ankh CHOOSES to give eiji his medals especially HIS medal the medal which is his soul and consciousness the medal that is HIM, the contrast between this episode where hes conflicted about being able to relinquish that control over the pieces of himself hes desperately holding onto vs literally giving his soul and consciousness for eiji to use several times. oh its so good. anyway i also like that its after hina says please that ankh finally relents and gives eiji the medals like again, she and eiji both have very much obviously wormed their way into his little bird heart and it strikes me as another sibling related moment where you beg your big brother do to something and go please please please until hes worn down.

and god. the very first tajador combo. tajador my beloved. i love tatoba we all love tatoba but nothing will ever beat tajador. number one ooo form. ive already made a post about how ankh looks up at eiji when eijis flying as tajador but god just the absolute ache and yearning on his face to be whole and to be able to fly again to reach a kind of fulfillment that the greed are always inherently searching for fruitlessly, and of course theres the gay yearning too looking up at your narrative foil who has just used parts of your soul to transform and fight with.

and then we get to the ending where GAY BIRD! GAY BIRD but despite being reunited with more of his medals ankh isnt able to regenerate more of his greed body, the wings cut out painfully and hes left staring at not a claw but a human hand. we of course find out why he cant regenerate fully right now later on but i do think that this is part of ankh thinking about and struggling with his humanity because at this point he is stuck possessing a human body for the forseeable future and is unable to feel whole despite regaining things that he thought would bring him closer to that whole ness.

and ive already talked before at length about just how much i think the greed trying to become whole is a very human pursuit to begin with but like wow. ankh staring at the hand that should be a claw as his hand shakes and he then grips it into a knuckle and stalks off. its just so much. because no matter how much ankh wants to have his greed body back he is fragmented theres a whole other version of him running around and he cant get his body back until he consumes that other self, no matter how much hes been trying and no matter what hes done to get more medals its not going to bring the rest of himself back until that happens.

also again feel like this is the start of him having to consider how his actions can affect others especially the people close to him, with how strongly both hina and eiji rightfully react to eiji being thrown into the water and ankh having to still rely on eijis help despite his actions. like ankh has to realize that he cant go through life on his own just as much as eiji needs to learn that, but in opposite directions- ankh needs to learn that he cant just take from people without giving in return and eiji needs to learn that he cant just give endlessly to others and never accept or ask for help.

okay ive already typed way too much about this kamen rider ooo did something to permanently rewire my brain these characters live in my head forever now i just am always crying about how much their dynamics change by the end of the show they really do love each other and become a family to one another and ankh is undoubtably human by the end of the show and he has a boyfriend and a little sister and he willingly sacrifices himself for not only them but to save the entire world he does possibly the most selfless thing. and in the end eiji is still sure of ankh he still is certain that ankh is going to return one day because he trusts ankh and loves ankh by the end of the show and looking back on this episode to see the beginnings of that trust and to see wow, eiji is still so sure of ankh by the end of the show if not even more sure. its so much.