#also gen is a bratty sub and miles is a gentle dom in my headcanons

[bonaesperanza]

I mean I think that in some ways they are similar but in others they are really different and it's best seen through the people they choose for themselves.

Miles always gravitates towards people who are pitiful or helpless in some way, even when they are very competent - Elena and her strict father, Eli and her severe injuries, Ekaterin's marriage, Taura, Mark, etc. You also get the impression that he secretly also sees himself as someone kind of pitiful or pathetic and that a lot of his outwards personality covers up for that (and the Cordelia of SoH also perceives herself in a kind of similar way), and there is this kind of... Careful stiff upper lip distancing from these feelings? in himself and in the people he chooses, while at the same time this element is kind of acutely obvious to probably everyone on the inside. And if you think of it while he chooses very competent people to surround himself with in all areas of life (which is natural because he himself is highly competent) most of his emotionally intimate relationships have a kind of... Nurturing or almost hurt/comfort element to it, and all his romantic relationships are very wholesome and he is very gentlemanly and romantic about them, while maintaining this kind of gentlemanly distance from his own emotions (but being an absolute simp on the inside). Even Rian, the most shallow of his crushes, is kind of restrained and trapped by her position.

Whereas with Gen you see this kind of... Preference for people who are kind of angry and emotional, who sharpen their pain like a knife, or who are at least ready to stir shit up on both an emotional and a practical level. If he helps someone whose circumstances could be described as pitiful (like that earrings girl he keeps dancing with), it's very offhanded and clearly leaves no meaningful impact on Gen, whereas Miles would have lived it in a very personal way. Even when Gen is helping and bonding with Pheris, you really get the impression that he likes that Pheris is clever and bratty and actively struggling against his chains in some way (even if it's a destructive or self-destructive one), not that he's connecting with Pheris's helplessness, and it's very obvious in how he treats him (Miles would be way gentler, Gen is very encouraging of his curiosity and agency but takes absolutely no shit from him nor does he try to be particularly gentle. While Miles would make sure he feels accepted and protected, Gen makes sure that he is stimulated and given agency). Hell, even the earrings girl is choosing to openly and masochistically go against her father's wishes by being friendly to Gen at first. The people Miles chooses aren't really doing this - they are either completely lost psychologically or enduring in a stiff uper lip kinda way. People bond by punching each other and throwing furniture at each other in Gen's world; nothing soft or gentle there. Gen is all about, "You can hurt me until I'm all twisted up but I'll do what I want anyway so you'll never win" and if this is not present, then he leans to people who are just simply passionate and competent, like Helen or Sophos, or who are playful and daring and share his interests. Attolia is also trapped by circumstance, but she is trapped in a more... Armoured way, where she can't show weakness in order to maintain power, not like Elena or Ekaterin where they don't really have it, or Rian where her isolation and the trapped nature of her life don't have a lot to do with harshness or presenting strength even if they are somehow tied into power.

Vulnerability and emotional closeness for Gen is dropping your affable and cheerful exterior and showing that underneath you are angry and feral and spiteful and ugly and being considered worthy of love anyway.

Vulnerability and emotional closeness for Miles is dropping your exterior of smooth genteel confidence and showing that underneath you are often helpless and sad and trapped by your circumstances and being appreciated for the strength needed to live through it.

I think Gen is fundamentally a lot intrinsically harsher and more passionate as a person than Miles and I think Miles is a lot more idealistic and nurturing. I think Gen would find the life Miles builds for himself stifling and frustrating and find many of his friends boring; I think Miles would never put up with half the violent shit Gen puts up with and would rather eat his own feet than marry someone like Irene. Miles would wonder why Gen is so stupidly masochistic and in possession of an obvious death wish; Gen would wonder why Miles is so self-pitying and pathetic. And this is funny because we obviously know that Miles also has a death wish and that Gen is also very self-pitying.

I would sacrifice my firstborn child for the chance to read a crossover fic in which Lieutenant/Admiral Miles Naismith/Vorkosigan and Grand Admiral Thrawn get into some sort of unhinged military rivalry and do a kind of speedrun of who will get court marshalled first and/or harder while achieving the long-term strategic goals of whatever entity they're working for in this AU.

Like Reichenbach Falls but with space military geniuses.