#also fun fact Henry helping Charles with his tie was one of the first things I pictured when I decided to write this

[cristinablackthornkingson]

Shadowhunters Short Story #22

*CW: Miscarriage, Pregnancy after miscarriage, Alcoholism.*

*SPOILERS FOR CAST LONG SHADOWS.*

“Where are mama and papa?” 17 year old Matthew Fairchild asks his elder brother Charles, as he observes the mostly emptying drawing room, in which he and his brother stand. Matthew had been so sure he would find his parents in here, it was that time of day in which they both came in here to spend time together, even if they were both doing separate things, at least they were together. Papa was often working on new ideas for his inventions, while mama was usually working on paperwork that being the Consul brought on her. 

They had started doing this two years ago, after mama had a miscarriage and almost died herself. Matthew felt traumatized by the events of that day, even though they were his fault, he felt more and more guilty everyday for what he did to his kind, amazing, strong mother, and to his innocent little sister that never got to see the world, thanks to him. He became more and more consumed with self-hatred with each passing day, though he could not let anyone else know, he had to keep up facades, he didn’t want to hurt his mother any further. 

Matthew had many coping mechanisms, at first he tried to lose himself in poetry, but he was so consumed with guilt and self-hatred, he could not concentrate on the words before him. He then tried to use training as a coping mechanism, which did work. He had enjoyed training a lot more since becoming Jamie’s parabatia, and since Uncle Will started teaching him, he made training fun and exhilarating and a way for Matthew to release his anger, unlike Charles who seemed to hate seeing anybody have fun, Matthew of course loved his brother, but he could just be so bloody boring sometimes. In fact spending time with The Herondales as a whole made Matthew feel more at ease in general, not only did he love training with Jamie, Lucie and Uncle Will, but he also adored spending time with Aunt Tessa and discussing and analyzing poetry with her, she was absolutely wonderful and brilliant, she was like a second mother to Matthew, she often called him her son, and he often called her mum.

But nothing helped Matthew forget his troubles like a strong whiskey, or a scotch, or a brandy, or any alcoholic beverage really. Anna often took Matthew out and bought him alcoholic drinks in return for him lending her his clothes, she had explained to him why she preferred to wear men’s clothes as opposed to women’s, he didn’t really understand, but he didn’t really care either, Anna was Anna, whether she was in a dress or a waistcoat and Matthew loved her just the same. 

“Where are mama and papa?” Matthew asks his elder brother, in a tone of confusion. 

“They went to The Silent City, and no you cannot have any of your ridiculous friends over, especially not Christopher Lightwood, we don’t want mama and papa coming home to the roof blown off The Institute.” Charles says in an authoritative tone. Charles had always bossed Matthew around, and acted like he was the boss of his brother, Matthew did find it quiet annoying but he knew his brother meant no harm, he was trying to prove he was responsible and could one day be responsible for the entire Nephilim race, and take over as Consul from his mother, when she stepped down. Though Matthew was quiet annoyed with how Charles referred to his friends, he knew Charles viewed he and the other boys his age as children, still, silly, foolish children, but they were not and they were most certainly not ridiculous, they were just eccentric, except for Thomas of course, good ol’ Tom, the reliable and sensible one of their small group.

“For your information, Charlie, I was not going to ask if my friends could come over, I wanted to talk to papa about an idea I had for an invention we could work on, and my friends are not ridiculous, they’re fun, unlike you.” Matthew says in a cold tone. Normally he wouldn’t be cold with his brother, but after how he spoke about his friends, Charles had ruined Matthew’s rare good mood. 

“My name is Charles and I will thank you to refer to me as such, and you can speak to papa about your insane ideas when he and mama come home.” Charles says in a stern tone, still trying to be the boss of his younger brother. 

“Papa and I’s ideas are not insane, what’s  insane is you refusing to have any fun! Why are mama and papa In The Silent City, though? Are they speaking to Uncle Jem?” Matthew asks, excitement edging into his tone at the prospect of possibly seeing Uncle Jem.

“You really should not refer to Brother Zachariah as such, Matthew. Mama and papa are in The Silent City because mama has not been well for sometime, she wished to know the underlying cause and papa was very concerned for her, so he went with her.” Charles calmly says. Matthew’s heart races when he hears his mother is unwell. What could be wrong with her? Could she be extremely ill? Could she be on death’s door again? He felt like falling to his knees and begging Raziel not to take his mother from him.

“W-What is wrong with mama?” Matthew asks, perspiration breaking out on his forehead and on his palms. 

“Well actually, nothing is wrong, not exactly.” Charlotte softly says, appearing in the doorway with Henry just behind her. 

“I-I don’t understand.” Matthew says, still full of fear. 

“What did Brother Zachariah say, mama?” Charles asks in a curious tone. Charlotte smiles broadly and looks to Henry- who is also wearing a broad smile- and softly says 

“We’re going to have a baby.” Shock fills Matthew’s system. Mama is pregnant? He didn’t know whether to be overjoyed or petrified, or both. He was delighted at the prospect of being a big brother, but he was so terrified something would happen again, perhaps that awful faerie potion had permanently damaged her ability to carry a child. 

“You’re pregnant, mama?” Charles softly asks, his eyes and soul filling with hope for his parents, and his little brother or sister. 

“Yes, that is why I have been so sick recently. I had my suspicions I was pregnant, but I did not want to get my hopes up, but Brother Zachariah confirmed I’m two months along and the baby and I are in perfect health and it should be a completely normal pregnancy.” Charlotte says, in a tone full of joy. She had so badly wanted a third child for years, and her miscarriage had shattered her heart into pieces. She and Henry had agreed not to try for a while afterward, they hadn’t been trying when this little one had been conceived, they were a pure miracle.  “This is wonderful! Congratulations! Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” Charles asks. 

“It’s a girl!” Henry exclaims,full of joy and hope. He and Charlotte had always wanted a little girl, and when Charlotte miscarried two years ago, they were both so sure they had lost their first daughter, it was the worst pain he had ever felt, he never knew there was pain like it. He was never much of a prayer but everyday since then, he prayed to Raziel to keep Charlotte and the boys safe, and to perhaps one day bless them with a beautiful daughter, who looked just like her mother. He would now have someone else to pray for protection for, for the rest of his life, and nothing made him happier. 

“That’s wonderful! I can’t wait to meet her, I’m sure she’ll be as beautiful as you, mama.” Charles says, leaning down to peck his mother on the cheek. He was not one for showing affection, but his mother was an exception, he loved her so much, he needed to be sure she knew it. 

“Thank you sweetheart, I just want her to be healthy and happy. Matthew, are you alright? You’ve barely spoken since we came home.” Charlotte softly asks, looking toward her youngest son, who stood silently in the corner, his skin pale and his green eyes wide. 

“Yes... Yes I’m fine mama, I must go, I am meant to be meeting Christopher and Tom, I will be back tonight.” Matthew says, quickly darting from the room without once mentioning his new little sister. 

Matthew did not really have to meet with Christopher and Thomas, but he needed an excuse to get out of the room. He probably should have left The Institute, but instead he bolted upstairs, locking the door tightly behind him. He took a few minutes to process what he was feeling, and immediately knew he did not want to deal with these emotions, he needed a drink, or twenty. Grabbing a piece of paper and a fountain pen from his desk, and his stele from his waistcoat pocket, he quickly scrawls a note to Anna, asking her to meet him just outside of Alicante, and take him drinking. Anna never questioned why Matthew drank so much, just like he never questioned why she wore men’s clothes and courted women, it was non of their business. 

Soon after sending the fire message, Matthew grabs his favorite waist coat and suit jacket, along with a tie and hat Aunt Sophie had bought him for his 16th birthday, he hated giving away anything he got from Aunt Sophie, but the tie and hat were just not to his taste, Anna would enjoy them far more. 

20 minutes later Matthew watches as a familiar tall, slender figure with cropped black hair and sparkling green eyes, strolls towards him.

“Well, what has my favorite cousin down, now?” Anna calmly asks, taking the cigar out from between her lips and looking at Matthew with curiosity. Anna made sure Matthew knew he could talk to her if he wanted to, but he didn’t have to.

“I’d rather not talk about it, to be honest.” Matthew says, meeting Anna’s gaze. She shrugs her thin shoulders and says 

“Alright, where would you like to go?” There weren’t many places to drink in Idris, but there were a few. If they couldn’t find anywhere or didn’t feel like going out, Anna usually sneaked him back to her home and took a few bottles of her parents finest liquor, to share with him.

“Anywhere Anna, I just need to stop feeling for a while, for the whole night preferably.” Matthew says, handing his cousin the clothes. 

They drank all night long, or at least Matthew did, he had originally planned on stopping a few hours before dinner, so his parents would not notice his state of intoxication, but after a few hours of drinking, he decided not to go home at all, he would drink all night and sleep in the street if he had to, he just couldn’t bare feeling anything again, today. Anna drank a lot too, but she had a higher alcohol tolerance than Matthew, and wanted to be sober enough to make sure he didn’t get seriously hurt. She liked Matthew, he didn’t judge her for wearing men’s clothes, smoking or courting women, he just wanted to be her friend, she had no one else like that in her life. She adored her cousins Jamie and Lucie, and Barbara, Eugenia and Thomas, but non of them could really understand her, they accepted her, but they still asked questions about her fashion and romance choices all the time, which she did not appreciate.

Once all the public houses in Alicante closed, Matthew was completely intoxicated, far more than any 17 year should ever be. Anna started to worry he may get alcohol poisoning, so she took him back home with her, where she didn’t have to sneak him in, since her parents and Christopher were in bed, and even if 2 year old Alexander saw them, he’d just think Matthew and Anna were playing a fun game. 

Once she got him upstairs and into her room, she immediately summoned Brother Zachariah, and waited for him by the front door so he did not wake her parents or brothers. 

Thankfully, Matthew was fine, he would have a serious hangover in the morning, but he was not in any medical danger. 

Though he is not in danger, you did the right thing by summoning me, Anna, I worry greatly for him. Brother Zachariah says, gently stroking Matthew’s damp, blonde hair back from his face. 

“So do I, I do not understand why he is so adamant to not feel anything, he has a wonderful family and life, shouldn’t he be happy?” Anna softly asks, looking down at Matthew, full of concern. 

We do not always know the full story Anna, I’m sure he has cause for his pain and cause to not want to feel that pain, I have tried to get him to speak with me, but he will not, I thought perhaps Jamie could get through to him, but he has had no success either. Brother Zachariah says. 

“Perhaps Lucie could, he cares about her deeply too, and if not her then Uncle Will or Aunt Tessa, someone has to be able to help him.” Anna says. 

Yes, perhaps the Herondale’s will be able to help him, I do hope you’re right Anna, I fear for what will happen if he continues to suffer alone. 

*7 months later* 

Matthew’s head snaps up, the moment he hears the door to the infirmary creek open. His mama had gone into labor early that morning,and he, Charles, papa, Uncle Gabriel, Uncle Gideon and Uncle Will, had been waiting outside the infirmary the entire time, no one more nervous and afraid than Matthew. 

Aunt Cecily steps out of the infirmary with a wide grin on her face, and softly says 

“Henry, Charles, Matthew, a very special little someone is waiting to meet you.” Charles and Matthew immediately jump from their seats, and Uncle Will hurriedly stands and pushes papa into the infirmary.

“Is mama alright?” Matthew anxiously asks Cecily, stopping just before he enters the infirmary. He was so terrified she would not make it, he had read about women dying in labor, sometimes the baby died too, and it scared him to death. 

“Yes, everything is fine Matthew, your mother is thriving and so is your little sister.” Cecily softly says. Though it did put his mind slightly at ease, Matthew would not be fully content until he saw his mother and sister with his own eyes. 

When he walks into the infirmary, he immediately sees his mama sitting up in one of the beds, near the door, in a white nightgown, her brown hair pulled back but obviously damp with sweat, papa and Charles on either side of her, and in her arms, a tiny bundle of pink blankets. As Matthew cautiously approached the bed, he saw a little fist lift out of the blankets. The baby was moving, and she had all five fingers, that was a good sign his sister was healthy. 

“I-is she okay? Are you alright, mama?” Matthew asks, dropping to a seat next to his mother’s bed. 

“Yes, we’re both fine, but this little one wants to meet her big brother, would you like to hold her?” Charlotte gently asks. Matthew was terrified of dropping his baby sister, or somehow hurting her, but at the same time, he desperately wanted to hold her and make sure she was really real. He nods and holds his arms out for his sister. His mama slowly places the bundle in his arms. 

“What will you name her?” Charles softly asks,as the baby settles in her brother’s arms. 

“Alice Eva Fairchild.” Henry softly says. A beautiful name for a beautiful little girl. Matthew peers into the bundle in his arms, and the moment he sees Alice’s little face, he feels an intense rush of love like he’s never felt before, and a fierce need and responsibility to protect her. Alice had beautiful pale skin, dusted here and there with freckles, like papa, she had a few tufts of dark brown hair, like mama’s, she got her bone structure from mama, and her little mouth and nose shape from papa.

“Hello Alice, you sweet little thing.” Matthew softly says. Alice coos and reaches a small hand out of the blankets and presses it to her older brother’s cheek, snuggling contently into him. Matthew laughs softly, and kisses her little forehead. As he cuddles his little sister, and his parents and older brother engage in a conversation of their own, Matthew quietly makes a vow to his baby sister. 

“I love you so much Alice, I promise I will always protect you and keep you safe, I swear to you on my life, baby sister, I will always be here for you, and protect you until my last breath.” 

[pleasereadmeok]

Interview with Matthew Goode on his role in The Crown - 

Now I am sitting in a London hotel room in front of the actor playing Snowdon in season two of Netflix’s The Crown. And Matthew Goode is wearing a hat, probably the one he has in ITV’s The Wine Show, the programme in which he and his mate Matthew Rhys josh and gush over vintages brought to them in a “hilltop Italian villa” — a for-real version of Brydon and Coogan’s The Trip. The bibulous old rogue Snowdon would have appreciated the wine and the banter, but what would he have said about his future impersonator’s ever-on hat?

“He was a nightmare,” says Goode, who admits to rather liking Snowdon. “I spoke to one of the guys who used to help him when he was a photographer, and he said, ‘I can’t use the expletive, but it describes an area of a woman’s body — that’s who he was.’ It was so annoying. He could be charming and brilliant, then in two seconds’ time behave like the most disgusting person in the entire world.”

Snowdon was 76 when I met him and although he had been divorced from Margaret for nearly 30 years, he still behaved like minor royalty. His servants, I noted, called him m’lud. In the period depicted in The Crown, however, Snowdon was New Britain on the march, storming the palace gates to modernise the monarchy. That early model, the pre-peerage Tony Armstrong-Jones, might even have admired Goode’s hat.

Having once compared Margaret to a Jewish manicurist (he was part Jewish himself), he would certainly have enjoyed Goode’s outspokenness, a trait that has got the actor into trouble in interviews before — which may be why his publicist is sitting behind me. She keeps her counsel, however, probably having already realised that Goode’s chance of appearing in the next honours list is about as likely as The Crown ushering in a republic.

A file of background notes passed on by The Crown’s producers persuaded Goode that Snowdon’s faults were sourced in an unhappy childhood. His mother, Anne Messel, showed him little affection, referring to him as her “ugly son”, doling out her love instead to the two boys from her second, longer-lasting marriage to an earl. He was sent to boarding school at eight and at 16, while at Eton, contracted polio (there is a touching moment in The Crown when he hides his stick when Margaret turns up at his studio). Anne, rather than nurse him at home, packed him off to Liverpool Royal Infirmary, but she never visited him.

“Exactly what that kind of damage does to a child I have no idea, but emotionally and psychologically, quite a lot, I would imagine,” says Goode. “I think it’s why he married Princess Margaret. I think he did it to please his mother rather than himself.”

Demonstrating that he was good enough to marry into royalty? “It’s far more complicated than that, I’m sure, but it’s one of the solutions.”

The Snowdons were soon into an 18-year marriage notable for its private rowing and public putdowns. Yet, says Goode, the royal family loved their new recruit and always blamed Margaret for any trouble. “He was terribly funny as well. So with this incredibly acerbic, nasty, vitriolic, spiteful side comes this flamboyant, wonderfully debonair, extremely funny, witty man.”

The pair, he summarises, were “very charismatic, very smart and vile”, but what we can be sure of was that the sex between them was spectacularly good — although not good enough to dissuade their lusty libidos from straying beyond marriage. Soon both were having affairs. Within weeks of the marriage, another woman, Camilla Fry, had given birth to Snowdon’s illegitimate daughter, sired, the show suggests, during a three-in-a-bed encounter with her and her bisexual husband, Jeremy.

“When I first met Noo,” Goode says, referring to Vanessa Kirby, who plays Margaret, by her nickname, “I was quite terrified because I was a fan of the first series. I was a little star-struck, I suppose, and I thought it might make for uncomfortable love scenes, but we ended up just finding it hilarious. It was a really good giggle. She’s brilliant. She’s really dynamic as an actress and really fun to work with because she’ll bat it back. She listens, really listens, and responds.”

Perhaps it is because of their rapport that they manage to convey how alike the princess and her parvenu husband were. They were control freaks (that cap business) and poisonous to those who would not be controlled. They were rebels, but also lovers of status. As Goode points out, Armstrong-Jones may have been the first commoner in 40 years to marry the daughter of a monarch, but he was also dead posh. In fact, Goode’s dialect coach encouraged him to “dial back” the vowels, lest people found them confusing.

Since his breakthrough role as wealthy Tom in Woody Allen’s Match Point in 2005, and certainly after his Charles Ryder in Brideshead Revisited three years later, Goode has played mainly posh boys. He was brought up in Devon the son of a geologist and his wife, a nurse, but did go to a private day school. Yet Goode is not quite acting aristocracy and since this cannot be because of his talent, or his looks — dark hair, blue eyes, 6ft 2in — this may be something to do with his habit of speaking his mind. In an interview in 2010 he complained about being left with “nowhere to go” by the director of Brideshead. When Tom Ford’s excellent A Single Man came out, he criticised the Weinsteins for featuring Julianne Moore rather than him with Colin Firth in the advertising, thus downplaying the central gay relationship. In 2013 he said he had been working “a lot of scale”, meaning the minimum rate.

Then, on This Morning last year, he said he did not think the modern Bond films were working as well as the old ones. The papers, which had tipped him as Daniel Craig’s successor, declared he had blown his chances.

“I’m way over the hill, darling, what are you talking about?” he responds, although he is 39 and only a few years older than Craig when he started. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” What he meant was that there could be two Bond franchises, one contemporary Bond and another set in the Sixties. “It’s just an idea. But apparently you can’t have an opinion.”

Recent years have been kinder to him professionally. In 2014 he joined Downton Abbey as Henry Talbot, the racing diver who sped off with Lady Mary. Around the same time he won a regular gig on The Good Wife in America. The Wine Show is about to return to ITV, with Goode joined by a new drinking buddy, James Purefoy. There are, of course, still disappointments. Cast as a morphine-addicted ex-public schoolboy in Agatha Christie’s Ordeal by Innocence, Goode now finds that the three-parter has been pulled from the BBC’s Christmas schedules after sexual allegations against his co-star Ed Westwick (who robustly denies them).

Goode says there are two ways of looking at it. The first is that the BBC has spared the cast some awkward interview questions. “But some would also say that they should have stood by Ed. Possibly. I mean, I don’t know. I’m not the controller of the BBC.”

So, is he in favour of the postponement? “I’m not really in favour of anything because I don’t have to make that decision. I believe you’re innocent until proven guilty.”

But has the BBC prejudged the matter by pulling the show? “No, not now, because there are three allegations now.”

Goode has lived with the mother of his three children, Sophie Dymoke, for 12 years. When she became pregnant with their first daughter, she gave up her life in the fashion industry in New York. He was thrilled to be able to return with her to film The Good Wife, but by then her heart was no longer in her career. Is he guilty about that?

“Of course I am. Of course I am. She has to put up with living with some f***wit who doesn’t really live in reality occasionally and has some slight psychological problems occasionally through work. She’s retrained as an interior designer and she’s so talented at it.”

What psychological problems? “Well, this [show] is part of it. If you tie all of your hopes to the net product of your work, then you’re going to get depressed because sometimes you feel like you’re working really well and then you watch it and you go, ‘I am terrible.’ I don’t watch my stuff any more.”

I assure him he is excellent in The Crown, but it was a one-off gig. Series three will be recast with older actors (he thinks Paul Bettany would be a good choice). “Peter Morgan [the writer] said, ‘I’ve just written the most fantastic argument for Tony and Margaret in series three.’ I was, like, ‘Oh good. What a thrill for the next guy.’ ”

He got the part days after Lord Snowdon died in January this year, 15 years after Margaret. His death avoids any unpleasant collisions in restaurants and Goode hopes that none of his children will want to spit in his face. He reports that Matt Smith was introduced to Prince William at a function before the first series was shown. The prince said he had heard he was playing his grandfather, Prince Philip. “And Matt was, like, ‘Yeah, yeah, anything to say about that?’ And William just said, ‘LEGEND.’ ”

“I think as we come towards where we are now, it will be slightly uneasy and slightly problematic. I think it could open up a few wounds that people are still a little bit grieving over and feeling complicated about. Poor old Charles is probably going to get it in the neck. Maybe it’s a good thing that I’m out of there already.”

In one way, however, Lord Snowdon did members of the royal family a favour. The show’s slogan is that “the crown always wins”. In the Snowdon case, monarchic tradition was unable to prevent Margaret and her husband from divorcing and pursuing happiness with others. Perhaps without their example, Charles, Anne and Andrew might still be all miserably married. The Snowdons were trailblazers!

“Were they the first? They were. Yes, they were! So, the trailblazers. Trailblazers is a word that suits them extremely well,” Goode says enthusiastically.

And for that, let us all take off our caps to Lord Snowdon.

The Crown series two is available on Netflix from December 8

[letmebeallyours]

Vows

Sam couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt both so tense and so happy at once. In fact, he may never have felt either to quite the same extreme as he felt them now. God, what a strange morning it had been so far. He’d woken up alone for the first time in months. Charles had spent the night at his family’s house because, well, tradition or ‘bad luck’ or whatever. In a way, it was a good thing. To be reminded on this of all mornings of how much he ached for Charles when his soon-to-be husband wasn’t there. He never wanted to take that for granted.     Charles hadn’t slept. True, this wasn’t exactly unusual for him, but how in the world could anyone be expected to get a good night’s sleep the evening before they got married? He had tried calling Henry again, but he had sternly scolded Charles for not resting and then hung up. He’d tried reading, but his heart had been racing and his mind galloping along with it and he simply couldn’t focus on the words in front of him. He’d even tried Nyquil—not something he usually resorted to—but even that had failed to help. Instead, he’d ended up pacing his old room in his mother’s house until nearly three in the morning when she’d come upstairs to ask him to sit down. He apologized for waking her. She smiled and sat at his old desk, looking around the room. “Have I ever told you about the day I married your father?” She stayed and spoke with him until it was time for both of them to go.       “Sam says all the decorations will be done in ten minutes,” Henry declared as he came into the room where Charles was fiddling with his bowtie. “And the place settings? Are they—“ “Taken care of.” “Henry, I should be out there helping set up. It doesn’t feel right to just wait back here.” “It’s just one of those social norms. This is your day, you’re not supposed to do any of the work. Besides, he lives for this kind of thing.” Charles grinned at that. He could, occasionally, hear Sam Ward shouting orders out in the main hall. He could practically see him, flitting about the room with a touch here, a slight correction there, magically transforming it into a stunning, tasteful masterpiece. Well, mostly tasteful. The conversation they’d had about life-size golden statues had been concerning, but given that it had been two in the morning, he’d decided to overlook it. Since Henry and Sam had come over to his place a couple weeks ago, Sam had appointed himself Charles’s wedding planner—a role Charlie’s own Sam had been delighted to let someone else take up (although their arguments over the budget had been pretty severe)—and Charles hardly knew what to expect at this point.     Now that it was so close, now that they were here, Sam’s nerves were starting to take over. He took the beautiful blue coat off before he could sweat through it. There was so much that could go wrong. What if he forgot the order of all the different ceremonial things? What if he forgot his vows? What if he threw up? That last one seemed like a very real possibility right now. Sam—the other Sam, god this was ridiculous—came in to warn him about the time. “Nearly everyone’s here and seated, your—you’re not dressed.” He sounded genuinely horrified. “I’m trying not to ruin the coat.” Sam snapped back. “It’s just lying there! There least you could have done is hang it up.” “It’s fine,” Sam nearly yelled as he snatched the coat up again. “Are you alright?” “Do I look alright?” “Silly me, trying to ask a friendly question.” A twinge of guilty prevented Sam from yelling at him again. Instead, he sighed. “Ten minutes, you said?” “Eight by now.”   “Okay, Charlie. Ready?” “Yes,” Charles said firmly, still trying to convince himself this wasn’t going to be a disaster. He turned towards Henry—and frowned when Henry burst out laughing. “What? What’s wrong? Oh god, don’t tell me there’s a stain on my—“ “No, no, nothing like that. Here, sit down.” Charles sat, bewildered. Henry came over and, to Charlie’s chagrin, undid his bowtie. “Hey!” “Sorry, Charles, but it was a mess. You can’t get married looking like your tie is trying to escape.” “It wasn’t that bad.” “Yeah, it was. Just let me…” Henry trailed off, concentrating as he worked the fabric into the right shape. “Henry?” “Yeah?” “Thank you. For everything.” Henry laughed and leaned in for a hug. “Okay. Let’s go.”     The hardest part was over. They had both come up to the altar from either side, given away by their mothers; not the usual approach, but the only etiquette compromise they could agree on. Charles was already crying by the time he kissed his mother’s cheek and let go of her hand. Reserved she may have been, but anyone looking at her that day could see how much she loved her son, how happy she was for him. Any other day, Sam might have envied that. But today his heart didn’t have room for that. Today, he looked his own mother in the eye for the first time in years, felt her squeeze his hand as she smiled at him. When she whispered “I’m so proud of you,” before going to sit down, he could feel his eyes stinging. He watched her take her place beside Charlie’s own mother, tried to imagine for a moment how many holidays they might have together now, a whole lifetime intertwined ahead of them… The priest cleared his throat softly. Charles and Sam stepped closer, reaching for each other’s hands, and the rest of the world fell away. Charles wasn’t actively crying—not at the moment—but his eyes were so soft and shining and happy. It was all Sam could do to listen for his cues and not simply kiss Charles now.   Charles knew he was crying. Or had been crying. And that he would be crying again, very soon. When they got to the vows he was going to absolutely lose it.     And then it was time.   “Charles Sumner, I have never met anyone like you. You are the kindest, most loving, most patient person to ever walk this earth. I have so much to say, so many promises to make, that I can’t fit them all into one little speech. Instead, I want to spend the rest of my life showing you my love, spelling out my vows in every quiet moment. For now, all I can say is what I said to you a few months ago. I want you to let me be all yours, now and always.”   Charles was almost glad to see the tears rolling quietly down Sam’s cheeks as he finished reciting his vows. Charles took a deep breath, hoping he wouldn’t choke, hoping his words didn’t come out completely incomprehensible.   “Samuel Howe, I love you. I have loved you from the moment we met. You have inspired me, over and over, in a thousand ways. You have helped me become the person I wanted to be. And you help me see that that’s not enough; that I can be so much more than I ever imagined before I met you. You make life an adventure. And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life at your side, growing and learning and loving you.”   He had messed up his vows. The version he’d written had been longer, more eloquent, but in this moment he hardly knew what he was saying. The only thing in his mind right now was how immeasurably he loved the man in front of him. He had a lifetime to tell him so; whatever he said today ultimately wouldn’t matter. All that mattered was— “I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss your—“ The last word was drowned out as Sam pulled Charles to him for their first kiss as a married couple and crowd applauded and cheered.

~~Fin~~

[comicsbeat]

And let’s wrap things up! This may not have been the biggest survey ever, but it had perhaps the widest participation ever, and I’m very proud to showcase so many people from so many levels of the comcis industry from creators to retailers to journalists to publishers. 2018 has already been wild but it’s going to be another banner year for comics.

To read the first four parts of this survey go here. 

J.T. Yost, publisher Birdcage Bottom Books

2018 Projects: We’re gearing up for a Kickstarter campaign in January to fund all of the stupendous comics we’ve got planned through 2018. We’re focusing on artists flying under the radar that we feel are deserving of a wider audience.

We will be publishing:

“In The Future, We Are Dead”, a graphic novel by Eva Müllerthat focuses on her obsession with death

“The Complete Matinee Junkie”by Jordan Jeffries, a book collecting his previous four years of matinee attending comics diaries along with the current year (in progress) along with lots of bonus material

“Goat Song”, a bizarre piece of fiction about an unexpected infection by Larkin Ford

“Thonger Dongers” by T. Yost, a third collection of short comics drawn for various anthologies

“Nate The Nonconformist Has A Rival!” details high school rivalry at its worst and most immature by Stephanie Mannheim

“A Lone Dear At The End Of The World” by  Bradford Gambles alternates between the hush of an abandoned mall reclaimed by nature and loud, crass consumerism

“Pictures of Bananas and Funny Bugs”collects more truly unique work by New Yorker cartoonist Sara Lautman

What was the biggest story in comics in 2017? For me, the biggest story was the depressing realization that the #metoo movement extended to what I’d previously considered a welcoming and non-threatening comics community. What will be the biggest story in comics in 2018? In an echo of editorial cartoonist Thomas Nast’s takedown of Boss Tweed, comics will be the undoing of Trump and his entire administration (a man can dream).

Guilty Pleasure: I don’t feel guilty about my pleasures (I’ll readily admit to my love of Degrassi Jr. High), so I’ll just say the comics related project I’m most looking forward to is the collection of Laura Park’s work.

Who or what inspires you? Josh Bayer is an inspiration in that his need to draw seems compulsory, his knowledge of comics history is extensive, and his ability to share through teaching is admirable.

Sue, journalist, DC Women Kicking Ass

2018 Projects: 2018 mid-terms

What was the biggest story in comics in 2017? A tie! The meltdown of Marvel – sales wise, creative wise (bye Bendis), executive-wise ( Bye Axel, hello Akira Yoshida (oh sorry CB Cebulski) and the #metwo movement hitting comics and Eddie Berganza finally getting what he deserved 5 years ago.

Guilty Pleasure: Infinity War – how can Marvel get their movies (mostly) so good and their comics struggle.

Who or what inspires you? Wonder Woman! The comic is suffering from a writer who shouldn’t be writing it, but it was great under Rucka/Scott/Sharpe (also the movie was great).

 Martha Thomases, writer

2018 Projects: Second Hand Rose, with Richard Case.

What was the biggest story of 2017? #MeToo, Eddie Berganza

What will be the biggest story of 2018? #MeToo spreads to include the people who covered for Eddie and others.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: Black Panther! Also, being seen as a writer more than a journalist.

Who or what inspires you? Irmina, by Barbara Yelin. I’m not prepared to see it’s the best book, but it provoked me to think of history in new ways.

 Charles Vess, cartoonist

2018 Projects: For the past four years I’ve been illustrating the first ever collected edition of Ursula K. Le Guin’s six multiple award winning Earthsea novels with direct consultation from the writer. ‘The Books of Earthsea’ from Saga Press (a division of Simon & Schuster) will be published in October of 2018, the 50th anniversary of the publication of ‘A Wizard of Earthsea’, the first book in the series. The collection will feature some 60 color and black and white illustrations that will depict her world, its characters and her dragons as close to the way Ursula has always seen them as possible. What a journey it’s been!

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: Reading as much of Luke Pearson’s Hildafolk and Anti Watson’ Glister as they’ll give me.

Who or what inspires you? Mike Mignola, Michael Wm. Kaluta and Jill Thompson

Mairghread Scott, writer

2018 Projects: I have two new graphic novels coming out from First Second in March and April. City on the Other Side with artist Robin Robinson, a YA fantasy adventure that follows a young girl trying to stop a war between the after, and Science Comics: Robots and Drones with Jacob Chabot, a look at the history of robots and Drones and how they work. I also have written an animated feature called Marvel Rising: Secret Warriors featuring, Ms. Marvel, Squirrel Girl, Patriot, America Chavez, Inferno and Captain Marvel that I am really excited to share with everyone.

What was the biggest story of 2017? The women who came forward about Eddie Berganza and that DC finally did something about it.

What will be the biggest story of 2018? Probably all the other companies being forced to clean house of their Berganza and the female talent that will finally start feeling safe to pitch at those comic companies.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: Watching Great British BakeOff and eating cake.

Who or what inspires you? Alex De Campi, that woman is just so damn fearless.

 Larry Marder, cartoonist

2018 Projects: Beanworld Omnibus :summer 2018. Beanworld Book Five: 2019.

What was the biggest story of 2017? Robert Kirkman’s Secret History of Comics.

What will be the biggest story of 2018? Some sort of inevitable crash.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: B-movies on TCM.

Who or what inspires you? Jack Kirby. It’s always Kirby.

Henry Barajas, writer

2018 Projects: I’m working LA VOZ DE MAYO with Jason Gonzalez and contributing to JH Williams’ III anthology WHERE WE LIVE.

What was the biggest story of 2017? Men harassing women in comics. The comic book industry has had to deal with some persons that overstayed his welcome after numerous allegations. It’s interesting how the events and victims became whispers and shy “con-versations” until Buzzfeed took it public. It doesn’t stop with that one. When you find one roach, you probably haven’t seen them all. Thankfully, women have been speaking out and exposing the bad eggs.

What will be the biggest story of 2018? Betty and Veronica will get married.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: Line Webtoons. I love their drive. They’re hungry and taking chances.

Who or what inspires you? David and Maria Lapham. They’re making the best noir comic that everyone should be talking about.

Christian Beranek, writer

2018 Projects: Kelci Crawford and I will be launching the Tiny Unicorn ongoing webcomic and prepping a YA GN series. In addition, Tony DiGerolamo and I have some new stuff in the works at The Webcomic Factory.

What was the biggest story of 2017? The #MeToo movement and the diversity in comics debate leading to editorial shake-ups at the highest levels.

What will be the biggest story of 2018? Re-invention.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: It’s been 15 years since I’ve played a video game. Maybe I should give one a go!

Who or what inspires you? Kelci Crawford, my partner on Validation, continues to get better and better with her work, which in turns makes me better.

Kat Kan, librarian

2018 Projects: In addition to my work as a school librarian and as the Graphic Novel Specialist for Brodart Books & Library Services, I write the Graphically Speaking column for Voice of Youth Advocates. The February 2018 column will mark my 24th anniversary of writing about graphic novels and comicbooks for libraries serving teens.

What was the biggest story of 2017? The failure of the Big 2 to truly invest in diverse characters and comics; many series were cancelled in late 2017, usually citing low sales. The publishers have ignored the fact that the target audience tends to buy trades, and that libraries constitute one of the important markets for such books.

What will be the biggest story of 2018? The Excellence in Graphic Literature Award is a new initiative of the Pop Culture Classroom – the awards for various age levels and an overall award will be given at the Denver Comic Con. Among the awards is the Mosaic Award, which will celebrate diversity in comics. I’m on the Advisory Board; the EGLs are juried awards. Also, indie publishers such as Lion Forge will continue to grow. Lion Forge has learned lots of lessons from the past, mostly due to its staff – most of whom have worked in the comics industry for years.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: Possible travel to professional conferences, particularly the American Library Association Annual Conference in New Orleans. Also, helping my middle school Library Book Club students create their own STEAM-based comics characters and stories during the second semester.

Who or what inspires you? Jim McClain – I mentioned him last year as well, I think. Despite many personal and professional challenges, he continues to hone his craft in his “spare” time. He ran a successful Kickstarter campaign for SOLUTION SQUAD – a superhero comicbook that makes learning math FUN! Jim continues to work on creating marvelous lesson plans – including the STEAM-based comics characters project I plan to use with my students. He does all this while teaching math full-time and being one of the best people I know.

Peter Kuper, cartoonist

2018 Projects: Kafkaesque a collection of 14 adaptations of Franz Kafka short stories, including ‘In The Penal Colony’, ‘The Burrow’ and ‘Before The Law’ to be published by W.W. Norton , Fall 2018

What was the biggest story of 2017? English edition of Alack Sinner: the Age of Innocence by José Antonio Muñoz and Carlos Sampayo

What will be the biggest story of 2018? Emil Ferris My Favorite Thing Is Monsters 2 (Vol. 2)

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: Binge watching

Who or what inspires you? Jose Muñoz

Kyle Pinion, journalist

What was the biggest story of 2017? Marvel’s no good, horrible, very bad year. It’s been a long time since I can remember a comics publisher flailing this badly over the course of 12 months – be it creatively, in terms of overall leadership, the PR gaffes, you name it, Marvel somehow found a way to screw it up. Their ongoing rudderless nature is something everyone in the industry should probably be worried about. The original Marvel Now!, with all its energy and critical acclaim, feels like it was a decade ago.

What will be the biggest story of 2018? To be honest, see above. Can the Cebulski era of Marvel right the ship? What can be done differently? Unlike DC, Marvel still hasn’t bothered to make amends with the retailers, whose trust they’re blowing to smithereens, and if they were to relaunch/reboot, what shape will that take exactly? The Legacy launch was a complete bust; so what’s the next step? Do they have the talent in place to get readers excited for whatever it is? Will the long dormant Fantastic Four finally re-emerge thanks the Disney-Fox deal?

A second story worth keeping an eye on is just how big Brian Michael Bendis’ presence will be at DC. I’m sure he’ll wind up with a number of big name titles, but what of Jinxworld? Could that potentially be another pop-up imprint at the publisher? And perhaps even more pressingly, will he join Geoff Johns on the movie/tv side of things in some advisory capacity?

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: The return of the Legion of Super-Heroes. In whatever form it takes. It HAS. TO. HAPPEN….(I hope). It’s not even a guilty pleasure, I just wanted to mention it somewhere in here.

Todd Allen, analyst

What was the biggest story of 2017? What did Marvel go and do this time? (Seems like every other week there was a problem.)

What will be the biggest story of 2018? Depends on whether the whispers of mass shop closing are well founded or not. If so, that could be it. Other obvious possibility is whatever Marvel does for a relaunch/reboot.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: Akira Yoshida returning to write Milli Vanilli comics.

Lara Antal, cartoonist

2018 Projects: Two graphic novels – Adult Memoir about Parenting and Loss, written by Rick Louis (see except below)

Middle Grade about an all-girl punk band and their ghost guitarist

What was the biggest story of 2017? Middle Grade graphic novel market is booming.

What will be the biggest story of 2018? Graphic novels are up – mini comics are down.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: More magical middle grade graphic novels! These are the comics I dreamed of as a kid and I’m glad they finally exist.

Who or what inspires you? Ghosts by Raina Telgemeier — I’m sure I’m not the only one going to mention Telgemeier but I really appreciated the simplicity and solid storytelling. It’s not going to change your life, but it’s very GOOD, and that’s a feat in itself. I find in comics especially the basics of good story telling can easily be obscured by artwork, and popular characters/properties, and popular creators.

The Beat’s Annual Creator Survey, 2018 Edition, Part Five: chock full of preview art And let's wrap things up! This may not have been the biggest survey ever, but it had perhaps the widest participation ever, and I'm very proud to showcase so many people from so many levels of the comcis industry from creators to retailers to journalists to publishers.