#also fall out boy using an x men reference for their show name i said oh im sure

[andoutofharm]

all your friends fest is coming up this saturday, august 24 in burls creek, canada! it’ll be the second “days of fall out past” show they’ve done so far.

fall out boy set time: 9:30-11pm EDT (UTC-4)

(convert to your timezone here!)

fox is planning to stream on instagram!

username: naivewaltz

[the-firebird69]

Is actually BG

Zues Hera

It is me and I am here and I did do what he said but on my own fruition of course I wrote a book that book details what happened to my people my particular people and race and kind and it shows throughout history what's been going on to us and it does include other people's of very similar race and those who are very oppressed due to being genetically different and it is an anthology a history and a novel at the same time. It is not a historical document but it references a lot of historical documents and it's nonfiction meaning that it's real and the data is real and the people are real their names may be changed to protect their identities but what has happened is an actual real story and all of the stories in there a real and factual. And I have denoted all of the references at the bottom of each page when there is some kind of historical reference made be it a year of an occurrence or somebody in the office there's a reference there it is a huge book and it's a huge idea it came from my friend and me and it's for our people I've been using it to try and motivate me to go back to the places where I put them like the mansion in Westchester and the mansion in Los Angeles a lot of people call Grey skull. Even in mansions little not so big but they all has sizeable libraries like Kat von d in her mansion I put about 5,000 books out and I've been going around trying to get the data and it's difficult but it's very rich their intense notes on our friend they're very very rich and intense this is full of love for practically anybody who gives it to him then he has to be careful with it and he's very very huge everybody knows who he is but as a result everyone knows who we are and we have to use it wisely it's dangerous too he's a beautiful little boy but he's got super powers that are real and people are mentioning it he's not even aware of it tons of studies on him and on us too and on the max in this very important information there. These are the founders of the X-Men and alpha flight and the avengers and the Justice League and many more organizations you'll find them as the founders of agents of shield and you'll see that they've made secret societies to try and keep themselves alive and us and it failed at the end and they're entombed and Mac plans on retrieving the information and the goods this will help us get it and help us get there. The book has a lot of you in it especially you Trump and it's how we do the movie fast and furious and a lot of people see our viewpoint when the same team doing the same thing when you turn into crazy people that's blowback and you're following us and we do sometimes too the fall on people it details that too and the reaction and how it happens this is amazing book I wrote it's pretty big it's like 800 pages it has pictures of important events and people to our kind and race and all the races of ours morlock and it also has some excerpts about that and why he's doing that it makes sense to me it's risky and dangerous it did isolate us a little but we've been around for a long time and people are treating us this way because of next plan not necessarily because someone mentions us and it was one of the things we're getting over but now it's gone terminal and it is part of Max plan and it is detailed by his clans in these places

Have more to say but I feel the last sentence is extremely important

Bg rey

[fandom-puff]

A Lion’s Feast

Pairing: tywin lannister x younger!wife!reader

Requested by: anon ‘Could you write a modern au for tywin lannister x younger wife reader. Maybe they have a Lannister family dinner and its all just chaotic.’

Notes: I didn’t end up doing this as a modern AU, because I found it easier to work with everything in like... Westerosi time frame, but I hope this is okay.

Warnings: older man/younger woman, political/arranged marriage, Joffrey, use of words like slut/whore etc (cheers, Cers), reference to Jaime and Cersei’s incest, awkward family dinner

Gif creds to owner

“We will be dining in the Queen’s chambers tonight,”

You tensed up, staring straight ahead as you walked through the gardens of the Red Keep with your lord husband. “Am I… in trouble?” You asked softly. You were new to King’s Landing, shipped over from the Vale to marry the Lord of Casterly Rock, and you weren’t quite used to the way King Joffrey’s court worked.

“No. I’ve arranged for us to dine together as a family. You have not properly met my children and grandchildren. You are a Lannister by marriage, you are their mother-in-law, whether they like it or not, and it’s high time we acted like it,” his voice had a bitter edge to it; it hadn’t taken long for Queen Cersei to make her distaste clear. While no one in court would dare insult Tywin Lannister, the girl from the Vale was an easy target for gossip. You had been called every name under the sun, but the Queen’s favourite jibe was ‘whore’.

“Alright,” you murmured, lowering your eyes. You knew there would be no point in arguing. You had quickly learnt that when your husband put his mind to something, there was no turning back. As a few men of the court crossed your path, you felt Tywin’s hand come to rest on the small of your back, and it did not move until you were in the tower of the Hand. You smiled softly as you caught sight of the steaming tub of hot water, scented with sweet oils as you entered your bedroom. “You’ve had this all planned out, haven’t you, my Lord?” You asked, a small smirk gracing your lips. “You should’ve just told my handmaidens to do it in my chambers, to save the walk up all of those stairs,”

Tywin smiled ever-so-slightly. “You’re hardly ever in your own chambers downstairs, wife,” he reminded you.

“Only because you’re the only person I really know in this godforsaken keep, and even then I don’t know you that well. Besides, if I stayed in my own chambers, I’d get lost and end up in the maze of dragon skulls below the keep,”

Tywin smirked, giving you a little push by the small of your back. “Bathe. Wear red, and preferably rubies and gold,” he said sternly. You sighed, knowing Tywin wanted you to dress the part, to look like the Lady of Casterly Rock. You bathed and dried, perfuming your skin and hair before pulling on your smallclothes, calling in your handmaiden to tighten your bodice, then help lace up your dress. It was a deep red, with golden embroidery on the bodice and cuffs that glimmered when you moved, just covering your shoulders and showing the swell of your breasts, and you fastened a pendant around your neck- a golden lion with tiny rubies for its eyes, tongue and claws. You braided back the front of your hair, but let the rest fall down over your shoulders.

You emerged from the room into Tywin’s main office, your hands folded in front of you. He surveyed you briefly before nodding, offering his arm.

**

You sat in silence as you ate, eyes fixed on your plate. Tywin was sat to your left, Jaime to your right. Cersei and Joffrey occupied the heads of the table, and Tyrion sat across from you, in between Myrcella and Tommen.

“More wine, my Lady?” Tyrion said out of the blue, holding up the jug. He gave you a slight smile, knowing how you must feel to be the outcast, like a stranger with the people you were meant to call family.

“I... yes, please. Thank you, my Lord,” you said.

Tyrion smiled as he poured, before filling his own glass. “Just Tyrion will suffice. Let us leave formality at the door,” you smiled slightly and nodded.

“I agree,” said Jaime, earning himself a sharp look from Cersei, who was used to her twin almost always siding with her. “Wasn’t the whole point of this evening to introduce you to us? As a family,” Cersei scoffed into her goblet. “We won’t get very far with ‘my lords’ and ‘my ladies’, will we?”

Tywin nodded his approval at his sons’ attitude and you smiled, beginning to relax a little, though the presence of Cersei and Joffrey kept you on edge. “Tell me, Lady YN, how is the Vale at this time? Have the northerners got their grubby claws on it yet?” Joffrey suddenly asked.

You froze slightly. You were here to talk, yes, but not talk politics. “The Vale... your grace, is not quite like the Reach, or the Riverlands, or even like Winterfell or Casterly Rock,” you said carefully, fully aware of all of the eyes on you. You looked at Tywin, and when he gave you an approving nod, you turned back to the king and continued. “The majority of the Vale is mountain, with the valley you desire buried between them. Even Robb Stark’s best men couldn’t seize it. No one could. To take the Vale, one must take the Eyrie. To take the Eyrie... well... you just couldn’t,” you were happy sharing this fact, as it was known across Westeros that the Eyrie was impenetrable.

“There are other ways to the Eyrie, though. Marriage,” Cersei said. It was the first time she had spoken, and she had a conniving gleam in her eye.

“There is only one heir to the Vale. Jon Arryn was murd-died before he could have any more children. Only little Robert Arryn is the Lord of the Vale, and he’s just past his sixth name day I believe. Besides, his mother is... very protective of her boy. As I’m sure you can understand, your grace, as a mother yourself,” you said cooly. You didn’t know what possessed you to speak that way to the Queen, but something about speaking of your home, your true home filled you with confidence.

“Indeed. There is nothing quite like a mother’s love,” she responded, fixing you with a cold stare.

“I’m unfamiliar, having lost my mother when I was seven,” you said.

“Does the Eyrie really have a trap door that leads nowhere?” Tommen Baratheon suddenly asked, breaking the silence between you and his mother.

You smiled softly at the little boy. How could someone so innocent come from the loins of a beast like Cersei. You supposed some of the good nature came from his father- his true father, that is, Jaime Lannister. “Yes,” you said. “They call it the Moon Door. It’s a big trap door that opens into the sky. If the Lord of the Vale commands, prisoners can be thrown from it,” you stopped, realising quickly how gruesome that must sound to a little boy.

Tommen simply shrugged. “I suppose that must be less messy,” he said, returning his focus to his food. Soon Tommen and Myrcella were bundled off to bed, and Myrcella told you rather sweetly that she liked the way you did your hair.

Once the children were gone, it left only you and Tywin, his three children and the King. Tywin suggested you move away from the dining table to sit and drink wine. Joffrey excused himself, utterly disinterested with continuing on with the evening. You felt a little lighter after he left, although you could feel Cersei staring daggers at you.

“It must feel strange,” Jaime said. “Coming down here from the Vale. I imagine it’s all rather confusing, and daunting,”

“You can say that again,” you said. “I thought I’d just get bundled off to Casterly Rock, never seen or spoken to,”

Tywin laughed slightly. “Come now, wife, we do have some level of decency in this family,” he said. You smiled shyly, looking at your lap. He was often a little more... relaxed after a few glasses of wine.

“Ha!” Cersei said, having also drunk a fair bit. She had been holding her tongue all night, and it seemed now it had loosened. “Once he puts an heir in your belly, you’ll be shipped off to Casterly Rock. And if it’s a girl, you’ll be spared a visit or two, until you give us a son. That’s all you’re here for, that’s all you’re good for,”

You sat up a little straighter, responding before Tywin could. “I am aware of the general concept of political marriages. Your father gets a wife and an heir, my family gets money, or protection or something of the sort. The Seven know, you Lannisters have gold pouring out of your ears,”

“I believe the phrase is that we ‘shit gold,’” Tyrion supplied with a smirk, making you chuckle.

“You think this is a game,” Cersei hissed. “I’ve seen you, prancing around court, dressed in red and gold, following father around like a lost dog! Fluttering about like a common slut,”

“Cersei-” Jaime said lowly.

“No! No! Can’t you see, she has her claws in father the same way Margaery has her claws in Joffrey! And you want me to accept that whore as my mother,”

It was silent. Cersei panted, now standing up. Jaime and Tyrion looked between her and Tywin. Tywin remained stoic, although his eyes revealed the way he seethed. But it was you who spoke first.

“I don’t expect you to accept me as your mother. I am not your mother. Nor will I ever try to be, or call myself that,” you said quietly, contrasting the Queen’s outburst. “I will, however, do my best to serve my husband, to provide him with the heir that is expected of me, the same way you provided King Robert with his heirs,”

Cersei snorted. “I’m sure you do a fine job of serving, you brazen little who-”

“Enough, Cersei!” Tywin finally said, standing up. ��Whether you like it or not, I have married YN. She will give me an heir, or two, or more. And she will remain the lady of Casterly rock, no matter how much you protest,”

“She’s not fit to be lady of Casterly rock. She can barely curtsey,” she spat. “You have heirs, father,” she said, almost pleasing. “What need have you for a little whore,”

“I have a son who swore an oath, another who has more interest in wine and whoring, and a daughter who is not nearly as clever and tactical as she thinks she is. Casterly rock will not be left to either of you when I’m gone. It will be left to mine and YN’s son,”

“It could be! It could be left to one of my children,” Cersei hissed.

“One of your children? I wouldn’t put a bastard on the seat of Casterly Rock,” Tywin said cooly. Cersei opened her mouth to argue but Tywin held up his hand. “Give it up, Cersei. You told me yourself, my legacy is a lie. You have had your chance to build the Lannister name. Now it is time for YN and I to rebuild what you have trampled into the ground with your lies and your... acts,” he said with disgust. “And if I so much as hear the words whore or slut to describe my wife, I will resign as hand, withdraw my knights and my gold, as well as that of the Vale and leave you to pick up the pieces of this kingdom that I have been holding together. Perhaps you could learn a thing or two from the Tyrells. Come YN,” he said, turning away from his daughter and resting his hand on your waist, guiding you out of the Queens chambers and back to the tower of the hand, not giving you a chance to curtsey to the Queen.

As the door slammed shut, Tyrion drained the rest of his wine and clapped his hands as he stood. “Well. That went well,”

Tags: @sociallyawkward-princess @lazyotakujen

[earlgreydream]

rings.

| bucky barnes x reader | smut | fluff |

anon requested. bucky with rings

mafia au, soft!dom

cw: sliiiiight dubcon if you squint, but not actually

“You’re running the money through here?” Steve asked Bucky, and he nodded.

“Yes. We have a few other sites we launder through, but most of the money comes through here. Police don’t come poking around a locally owned Romanian restaurant on the upper east side,” Bucky explained.

“Boss is very... careful.” Zemo explained, referring to Bucky.

They were trying to make a deal with Steve and Sam, the two American bosses of another mafia they were trying to sell their illegal weapons to. One of their bases was raided, all of their drugs and weapons seized by the DEA.

They had come to Bucky, looking to buy more weapons to arm their dealers and “soldiers”.

“And who is this exactly?” Sam eyed Zemo suspiciously.

“Zemo. He’s security, and my weapons expert,” Bucky answered.

“Do you have connections?” Steve continued, trying to ignore the Sokovian’s unsettling stare.

“Yes. The head agent of the Manhattan DEA is one of us. Half of the local precincts are in our pocket, and I own the NYPD.” Bucky’s tone was impatient, he didn’t appreciate the questioning of his authority.

Bucky was the most powerful man in New York, and also the most feared. He demanded respect, dominating every space he entered. Steve and Sam wanted to be under his protection, and be supplied by him.

The men stopped talking when they heard a noise, and the four men burst into the front of the restaurant, guns drawn.

“Did you not lock the fucking door?!” Bucky snapped at Zemo. Zemo just rolled his eyes, and they stepped out into the dining room, where you stood.

You loved the Romanian restaurant just a few streets down from your building. You frequented it, their papanasi your favorite comfort food.

You’d had a rough week, a lot of family drama, and you were craving the Romanian food. You found the door unlocked and a back light on as you were walking home late, and you’d gone inside to try to get a snack.

It was empty, but four men had come out, three of them pulling guns and pointing them at you. You’d heard voices and had begun to walk to the back hallway, where they’d been talking in an office. You’d heard “I own the NYPD,” and nothing else. You’d started to leave when the men had appeared.

The man who didn’t have a gun pointed at you was in an all-black suit, silver eyes matching silver rings on his fingers that looked like they costed more than your Manhattan rent.

You were frozen, staring down the barrels of three guns, fear robbing your lungs of air.

“Get your fucking guns out of her face!” Bucky shouted, making you jump. Zemo obeyed immediately, but Steve and Sam kept their guns pointed at you.

“She’s-”

“She’s unarmed and terrified. Put down the fucking guns!” The other two slowly lowered their weapons, and you were shaking.

Bucky looked at you, a frightened girl who clearly had just ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time. You stared back at him, your hands trembling. You didn’t understand him protecting you from the other men, but you were thankful. 

“Please, I didn’t hear anything, I haven’t done anything... I just wanted some food,” you pleaded softly, looking at Bucky in hopes he’d take more pity on you.

“I believe you, doll, but we can’t let you leave,” Bucky spoke, and you bit your lip.

“I won’t do anything,” you promised.

“I know. You came for something to eat? Let’s get you some food. Zemo.” Bucky pushed the Sokovian toward the kitchen.

“Barnes, we can’t just-” Steve turned to Bucky, starting to object.

“You will respect my authority, Steve.”

You looked at him, and Bucky held his hand out for you to take. You hesitated, and his silver gaze softened.

“I’m not going to hurt you, doll,” he said quietly, and you carefully put your hand in his, the metal rings cold against your warm skin. Bucky pulled you toward him, his other hand going to rest on the small of your back as he led you to his office, sitting down with you on one of the brown leather couches. You began to smell the food Zemo was cooking, growing hungrier. Sam and Steve sat across from the two of you, and you shifted under their intense gazes.

“What’s your name?” Bucky asked you, and when you didn’t answer immediately, he introduced himself.

“I’m James Buchanan Barnes, but my friends call me Bucky,” he felt bad that you’d gotten caught up with them. Under another circumstance, he probably would’ve sent you away, but he couldn’t let you go in front of the two Americans, and not risking what you may have heard of their conversation. 

Your mind was spinning. You’d never been in the presence of four men as beautiful as the ones in the restaurant. Bucky especially, was incredibly gorgeous. His stern, dominating personality made him far more attractive somehow, and you found yourself growing warm in your jeans.

“Your name, doll?” Bucky’s voice was soft as he called you back to attention, snapping your mind out of your wandering thoughts.

“Y/N,” you whispered, pulling at a rip in your jeans, letting your eyes fall down to your lap.

“That’s a pretty name,” Bucky said, repeating it, and god it sounded so much better falling from his lips.

“Here,” Zemo returned, setting down a plate for you. A small gasp left you as Bucky hauled you closer to him on the couch. You realized it was so that Zemo could sit down on your other side. You picked up the plate, eating quietly, trying to ignore the stares from the men across from you. 

Zemo and Bucky didn’t stare, and Bucky’s hand rested lightly on your leg. They began to speak in Romanian, and you didn’t understand, so you kept eating. You nearly choked when Bucky squeezed your thigh a bit, his rings glinting from the movement. 

You wondered how the cool metal would feel against your heat.

“Y/N? I asked if you were alright?” 

“Hm? Yes,” you blushed furiously, and Bucky had an amused smirk on your face, practically reading your mind, or at least recognizing filthy thoughts as you stared at his large hands.  

“Her cheeks look a little rosy,” Zemo hummed, his fingers brushing lightly over your cheekbone. Your chest rose and fell heavily, and Steve leaned forward and took the now-empty plate from your lap. 

“Are you nervous?” Bucky teased, his deep voice soaking into you, surrounding you and blocking out everything else.

“No, sir,” you shook your head, swallowing hard.

“Sir? So sweet,” Zemo chuckled darkly, and you felt his fingertips ghost down your spine.

“I am sweet,” you said, looking up at Bucky, and he tilted his head to the side a bit, running his hand up and down your thigh. You squeezed your legs together without meaning to, just needing to alleviate some of the sexual frustration that was building inside of you. 

You were overwhelmed by the two men speaking softly and sensually to you, their hands on you, the dominating personalities, and the tension in the room. You were focused on Bucky, and he helped you onto his lap. You let him move you to straddle his hips, your back to the other men. 

“Want to show me how sweet you can be, doll?” He asked, his hands resting on your ribcage, and you could feel him through your thin top. You nodded shyly, and he kissed you to get you to relax a bit. 

“My friends here are going to watch, okay?” Bucky’s voice was dangerously soft, and you nodded. He kissed your cheekbone lightly before slipping your top over your head, your breasts barely covered by thin, see-through lace.

You blushed, looking to the side and seeing Zemo shift at the sight of your chest.

“He’s admiring you,” Bucky hummed softly into your collarbone, pressing a kiss to the skin there, just above the curve of the lace on your breast. His hands slipped down into the back pockets of your jeans, squeezing you and pulling a breathy noise from you. You couldn’t see Sam or Steve, but you felt their gazes on your back, watching the way Bucky balanced softness and dominance with you.

“I want to make you feel good, I want to hear your little moans of pleasure,” Bucky spoke quietly, mouthing gentle kisses along your jaw.

“Please,” now, instead of begging to leave, you were begging for him, the mafia don you were on top of.

“Let’s let these poor boys behind you see. I want them to know who’s in charge here,” Bucky said, and you nodded in consent. You felt like you could collapse as he got you to stand up off of his lap. You looked down at his rings as he smoothed his hands up your belly to tease the raised peaks under your bralette. 

“So pretty, doll,” Bucky praised you, kissing just above your navel. His eyes gazed up at you, and your trembling fingers threaded through his dark hair as you got lost in the stormy grey. 

Bucky wanted to tear you apart, but he took it slow and was gentle for you, the sweet girl under his protection.

He kissed the space between your hips as he undid the button on your jeans, sliding them down your legs. He reached a hand up for you to take as you stepped out of them, holding you steady. He smiled at the lace bottoms that matched your top, nearly see-through. 

You heard a soft throaty noise from behind you, and you looked to see Sam and Steve with their hands down their trousers, stroking themselves as they watched Bucky undress you. Zemo was doing the same, but less shy than the other two, his suit pants down around his knees, giving you full view of his cock.

You blushed shyly, feeling exposed but somehow safe with Bucky, who was squeezing your ass, leaving imprints of his rings against your skin. 

“Look, they’re all touching themselves because of you, how beautiful and sweet you are,” Bucky turned you around so your back was to him, making you watch Steve and Sam. Your skimpy underwear showed how wet you were, and you were unable to hide how turned on you were any more. 

Bucky’s hands were on your hips as he kissed down your spine, shivers shooting through your body. He slid the lace down your legs, leaving it discarded on the floor with your jeans, but not bothering to get you fully naked. 

A soft squeal escaped as you were suddenly dragged backwards, falling onto Bucky’s lap, your back pressed against his suit-clad chest. 

“You can rest on me, doll,” he coaxed you to relax, his hands smoothing down your body. 

Steve and Sam were overwhelmed by the sight in front of them, and Bucky knew it. He was doing this to assert his dominance, and to establish a level of trust between them. They watched him part your legs, keeping them open with his knees. Zemo was much more unphased than the other two, enjoying the show as one of Bucky’s loyal friends.

Bucky could hear your soft, unsteady breaths, and he stilled when your smaller hand grasped his. 

“Leave them on, please,” you begged, tilting your head back to look him in the eyes before he could remove his rings.

“Of course, sweet girl.” Bucky planted a gentle kiss to your lips, deepening it to hear your soft moans. 

“Oh my god, fuck,” one of the men moaned as they came, seeing your sex glisten as Bucky licked into your mouth sensually. 

Bucky gently trailed his fingers through your folds, feeling how wet you were. He began to stroke your clit softly, listening to you whine.

He eased one of his large fingers into your tight entrance. You shuddered, your breath stuttering as you felt the cold metal against your hot pussy, your muscles squeezing around his finger. 

“Does that feel good?” Zemo asked you as Bucky pushed two fingers inside of you, still teasing your clit to keep you relaxed.

“Answer him, doll,” Bucky commanded you sternly. 

“Yes, sir,” you turned your head to look at Zemo, watching his hips fuck up into his hand. 

“No, you keep touching yourselves. You’re not done until I’m done.” Bucky’s order was directed at Steve and Sam, who’s noises rose in pitch at the forced overstimulation. They were too afraid to disobey Bucky, knowing the consequences would be dire. Zemo knew this ahead of time, and was taking it much slower, still enjoying himself as he watched you writhe on Bucky’s lap. 

Bucky kissed along your shoulder and neck, three fingers pumping slowly in and out of you. He expertly drew whines and moans of pleasure from you, and your legs were beginning to shake from the intensity. 

The cold metal against your heat was driving you mad, making your eyes roll back in ecstasy. Your back arched off of Bucky’s chest, and he wrapped an arm around you to hold you against him. He still managed to stay calm enough to continue being gentle with you, leading you quickly toward a powerful orgasm.

“You must ask him before you let go, sweetheart,” Zemo informed you, and your broken whimper filled Bucky’s ears. He watched the other three men writhing in their own mind-blowing pleasure, all under the instruction of him. 

“Please, Bucky, I need-” you cut yourself off with a strangled squeal as he curved his fingers forward inside of you.

“Let go, I’ve got you,” He said, kissing your cheek as he murmured the soft words. Your screams of white-hot pleasure filled the room, shaking and falling apart on his lap. A choked sob left your chest as he pulled out of you, his digits soaked in your come. He’d waited until you had fell down from your high, becoming relaxed in his arms. 

He was whispering gentle praises in your ear as he slipped his fingers into your mouth to clean them off. You hollowed your cheeks, obediently cleaning him up and feeling the metal rings pressed against your lips. You were soothed by sucking off his fingers and the praises, melting into the mafia lord.

“I think I want to keep you.”

[mypoisonedvine]

Can u pls write something like dark!reader x steve rogers high school AU , where R is rich spoil brat & she always had a crush on steve but she always bully him by calling him skinny and all and Then yrs later, time changes her family discarded her from will and she becomes poor and need job, got hired for PA by dark ceo!steve rogers who she bullied her all school lifee😈😈

okay this is a lot for a headcanon but I don’t have time to do a whole oneshot BUT I also really like it so we’re gonna just make a longass headcanon here we gooooo

warnings for heavy dub con, choking, slapping, degradation (by steve), bullying (by the reader), abortion mention, brief mention of/implied assault.

“heyo pipsqueak” you called out to get steve’s attention, laughing when he frowned.  “looks like you grew a whole inch over summer, be sure to have your mom draw a line in pencil on the doorframe.”

he just rolled his eyes and got back to chatting with his friend.  not friends, friend, cause he only had one: bucky, who snarled at you as well.

“pick on someone your own size, if you can find somebody with as big a head as you,” bucky shot back, making you scoff.

“you know, it’s a shame you hang out with this deformed freak, you could’ve been popular.  you’ve got the looks for it.”

“I’d rather keep my brains, thanks,” bucky explained as you walked away with your posse of fellow popular kids.

you didn’t used to be so mean to steve.  it was sort of a comedy of errors, really.  you two had been friends in elementary school-- you, him, and bucky were the rambunctious trio up until middle school.  

things change for boys and girls in middle school.  guys just get along with each other and don’t think about it much.  girls, though... girls need to be sharp.  it’s eat or be eaten.  and you wanted to eat.

you were lucky that you developed early.  it meant that girls respected you and boys feared you-- not just for your attractive features but for the fact that you loomed a foot over most of them.

you started to take advantage of it.  and by the time you realized you had feelings for your best friend steve, it was already too late-- he was at the bottom of the food chain and you were at the top.  

you told your new girl friends that you wanted to take steve to the sadie hawkins.  they laughed at you.  for a moment, you felt what it was like to be outcast and you never wanted to feel it again.  so, you told steve and bucky that you’d grown apart.  and you were happy to just be former friends...

it was steve that started it.  he called you out.  he told you that you were nothing like who he used to know-- you had become vapid and cold and narcissistic.

“you’re so busy worrying about what other people think, you never take the time to think for yourself.”  that was what he said.  and it fucking hurt.

“saw you talking to your boyfriend steve the dweeb,” your friend tanya announced at lunch just a few minutes after that conversation.  and you were angry, and hurt, and truly friendless despite being surrounded by other popular girls.  so you said some things you could never take back.

“steve?  as if.  did you know he still sleeps with a security blanket?  and he has his friend bucky fight for him every week cause if he took a punch he’d crumble to dust?”

and so, mortal enemies were formed.  it only got worse in high school, as you fought to secure your title at the top while steve and bucky’s presence filled your heart with guilt and your gut with anger.

if only you’d known how quickly you could fall from your high horse.

it started when you dated tanya’s ex, brock.  she was made so she spread a rumor that you would fuck any guy on the football team, even all of them at once.

apparently, a lot of people believed it since tanya had been your sidekick since 6th grade.

two football players believed it.  and when you wouldn’t follow through on it, you got yourself a black eye.

that meant you missed school for a week because you couldn’t possibly show up looking like that.  tanya told everyone it was because you got grounded and sent away to church camp after your parents caught you in bed with one of the neighbors.  so now your reputation was ‘sleeps with football players and old men.’

only brock had been there for you.... but it turned out he had motives of his own.  you had originally planned to wait until college, but brock was clearly wanting something in return for putting up with dating pariah #1... so you let him take your virginity.

the condom broke.  when you dashed to the trash can to hurl in the middle of history class, you knew something was wrong.  (and lost that many more social points in the process.)

brock dumped you the second he found out you were pregnant.  didn’t even help you pay for the abortion.  he got back together with tanya and told her the real reason for your ‘medical absence’.  and that was the last straw for the former homecoming queen.

the humiliation drove you to some.... poor choices, for the next few years.  you tried not to think about them now, but it was hard not to when their consequences were staring you right in the face: no money, no job, nearly homeless, and desperate.

over a hundred job applications later, only one had called you back and scheduled an interview.  and you only needed one.

so there you were, waiting in the chilly lobby area while the receptionist typed away and chomped her gum, tapping your toes and glancing out the window occasionally.

you were surprised when you had been told your interview would be on the 51st floor.  you sort of assumed it would just be some random manager interviewing you, not somebody important enough to have a waiting room like this, or a view like this.

when a man stepped out from the nearby hallway, your eyes went wide.  he was tall, and handsome, and obviously muscular underneath the exquisite suit.  you suddenly felt underdressed in your hand-me-down business clothes.

then he called your name.  and you realized he was going to interview you.

you stood up and nodded.  “you can follow me to my office,” he instructed with a smile, leading you down the hall to the corner office.  you were in awe of the grandiosity of it all.  you were dumbfounded when you saw CEO on the door.

“there must have been a mistake,” you explained as he shut the door behind you.  “I... I’m just interviewing for an entry-level position.”

“no, there’s no mistake,” he shook his head, “I have you exactly where I want you.  take a seat.”

he circled his desk and sat on the other side of it, resting his elbows on the desk and giving you an oddly smug smile.  an awkward silence was finally broken when he realized, “you must not remember me.”

“I... have we met?” 

“I don’t blame you, I look pretty different,” he shrugged.  “I must’ve grown a whole inch this summer.”

you gave him a confused look before realization dawned on you, along with shame, and fear.

“oh... oh my god, Steve?!” you squawked.  he just grinned.  “you look... you look...”

“taller?”

sexy.

“you look great!” you said aloud instead.

“yeah,” he agreed, “wish I could say the same for you.”

you swallowed dryly.  “so that’s what you want,” you sighed, “to get back at me.  I understand.  I deserve it...”

“I don’t want revenge,” he denied.  “I’m just sorry to see you haven’t been... thriving, since high school.  your job history--” he scanned your resume briefly-- “well, you don’t have one.  have you been slumming it all this time?”

“without my parents’ money?  yeah,” you admitted.  

“surprised you applied here, instead of turning tricks on 5th and Columbus.”

your back straightened and your eyes went wide at that comment.

“I mean, you’re already dressed for it,” he smirked.

you stood up and crossed your arms.  “if you’re just going to insult me, then I’ll leave now.  I’m sorry for everything I did to you, steve,” you announced, voice shaky with oncoming tears.

“can you really afford to leave?” he pressed.  “if you have a chance at a job?”

that, unfortunately, got your attention.  “you... you might actually offer me something?”

“I will offer you something,” he corrected, “if you just sit down and listen.”

you relented, returning to your seat.  you could stand a lot more insults if there was money on the line.

“to be honest, there’s no way I can hire you for the position you applied for,” he sighed.  “you’re just underqualified.  but I think I can create a position for you.”

you liked the sound of that.  “what kind of position?”

“well, that’s tricky, seeing as you don’t have any skills,” he frowned, “except one.  so that’s the one I plan on using.”

the look in his eyes made it all too clear what he was referring to, but as you shrunk into the leather chair he went ahead and clarified.

“I’ll pay you whatever salary you saw in the ad.  but you won’t be doing data analysis or office management or anything like that.  all you’ll be doing is spreading your legs for me whenever I fucking want.”

fear shot up your spine; his eyes were devouring you, pinning you to the chair, and you tried to process that.  “I--”

“before you say anything,” he interrupted immediately, “let’s just be perfectly clear that this might be your only shot at a real job.  what I’m offering has better pay than stripping, and better benefits than hooking.  and unless you have any education or experience I don’t know about, you’re totally fucked.”

“seems like I’m fucked either way,” you mumbled, making him laugh.

“see, you’ve still got that sharp tongue,” he grinned.  “can’t wait to put it to better use.”

maybe it was just desperation for cash.  maybe it was because he was good-looking and you could do a lot worse.  maybe it was because, on some level, you felt like you deserved his punishment after how horribly you’d treated him.

“I’ll do it,” you sighed.  “when do I start?”

he stood up and reached across the desk to grab your neck, glaring at you.  “right now.”

his free hand was already fumbling with his belt, the one on your throat guiding you downwards.  “on your knees,” he instructed, and you slipped out of the chair and onto the floor.

he let go of your neck and you figured he was going to come to you, but instead he stood still and demanded: “crawl.”

debasing as it was, you crawled on your knees to his side of the desk, and he laughed at you bitterly.  when you reached his feet and popped back up, you gasped at the sight of his hard cock right in front of your face. it was bigger than your face.  and it was dripping precum.

“don’t get so bug-eyed, you can handle it,” he grinned.  “if your mouth’s as big as I remember...”

you didn’t want to hear any more.  you just wanted to get this over with, so you quickly took his head between your lips and started to suck.  you were shocked when he slapped you, hard enough to knock his length from your mouth and to make you reach up and clutch your stinging cheek.

“fucking whore,” he grimaced, “did I say you could put it in your mouth?  god, you’re so fucking desperate.  just open your fucking mouth and I’ll show you what I want, okay?”

you nodded and stammered an apology, looking up at him with watery eyes and an open mouth.  he swiped the latest drop of precum on your tongue before gliding his cock over it, grabbing your hair to keep you steady as he pushed himself to the back of your throat.

“fuck, that’s better,” he sighed.  “so much better when you just do what you’re told.  I remember how you used to be so cruel with this mouth.  now you’re being so welcoming...”

you just sat there and let him use your mouth, trying not to gag when he hit your throat.

“look up at me,” he instructed, “yeah, that’s it.  can’t have you forgetting who’s doing this to you, now can we?”

that went on for a bit longer until mascara-stained tears streaked your face, which he seemed rather proud of.

“damn, wouldn’t mind having you swallow my come right now,” he admitted, “but I have bigger plans.  get up, bend over my desk.”

you coughed briefly when he pulled out, but did as you were told.  he instantly yanked your skirt up over your ass and spanked you several times roughly, making you sob and whine.

“wanna see this ass all bruised up in the shape of my hand,” he explained.  “so we can both remember how hard I fucked you.”

he tore your panties like they were paper, chuckling when he found you already wet.

“dripping already, just from choking on my cock?  poor baby...”

you spread your legs slightly, though you were sure nothing was going to adequately prepare you for his size.

“you figured out how to use birth control since graduating, right?” he asked, and you nodded quickly.  “good.  cause I’m not using a condom,” he continued as he let his cock glide over your folds, groaning slightly, “and there’s no way in hell I’m pulling out.”

he pushed forward in one brutal stroke, making you cry out loudly.  you really hoped these rooms were mostly soundproof.

“shit, you’re tight,” he hissed, already pulling back and thrusting back in.  “clearly you recovered from your years of slutting it up in high school.”

“that-- that wasn’t true,” you defended.

“oh, just shut up,” he growled.

he fucked you fast and deep, his hips pushing yours into the edge of his desk with each thrust.  his hands pinned you down at your shoulders, another reminder that you were entirely at his mercy.

“fuck, this is just what you needed... somebody to put you in your place.  makes sense that it should be me, since you hated me so much.”

“I didn’t h-hate you,” you hiccuped. 

“yeah, you wanted me, didn’t you?”

“always,” you admitted.

“wanted my fat fuckin’ cock to tear up your pussy?  is that it?”

“yes,” you moaned, “yes, steve, wanted to be yours.”

“even when I was skinny and short?”

“even when you hated me,” you added.

he growled slightly and you felt your walls tighten around him suddenly.  he chuckled, clearly aware that you were enjoying this.

“you want more, baby?  want me to fuck you harder?”

“whatever you want,” you answered instead.  “just use me however you want.”

he moaned and leaned down to cage your body in with his.  “fuck, baby... you’re taking this better than I thought you would.  such a good girl for me, huh?  such a good little slut.  want me to use you, baby?  take all my anger out on you?”

“yes,” you whispered, sobbing when he began to fuck you more brutally than you thought possible.  but it felt good.  so good that your legs were shaking, so good that you felt even better when he tugged your hair.

“yeah, gonna come on my cock, aren’t you?” 

you nodded and bit your lip.

“m’ close too,” he admitted, “you’re gonna be so full of my come, it’s gonna be dripping down your legs when you walk out of here...”

your orgasm made your body shake and your eyes roll back.

“fuck, I can feel you coming,” he groaned, “fuck, just like that-- fuck!”

you felt his warmth fill you as his cock flexed against your walls.  you were busy trying to catch your breath when he slumped down on top of you and pushed the air from your lungs.

“damn... didn’t think I was gonna come that fast,” he sighed.  “see what you do to me?  fuck, I knew this was a good idea.”

sure, it felt good, but you were sure he was only going to get rougher and meaner the longer this went on.  you couldn’t imagine how you were going to get out of here without somebody noticing your wrinkled clothes, messed-up hair and, as he’d pointed out himself, come all over your thighs.

“guess I’ll see you at 8am tomorrow, huh?” he chuckled, giving you an unexpected peck on the cheek.  you couldn’t answer, though, interrupted by the phone on his desk ringing.  “oh, sorry, gotta get this.”

he reached for the phone and picked it up, bringing to his ear all without pulling out of you or even lifting his body from on top of yours.

“bucky, hey,” steve grinned as he spoke into the phone, looking down at you and stroking your hair, “you’re not gonna believe who I ran into today...”

[slashingdisneypasta]

Jack Bass x Younger!Reader || Oneshot

Title: Bass's.

Notes:

I have no idea when this is supposed to be set. Just go with it.

I have two things to say about Jack in this gif, though. 1. Does he not know how to carry a tray. And 2. I love this statement, here. Its like 'Bart's Dead, Chuck. I can barely contain my joy, Chuck. Its taking all my willpower, Chuck, to keep a monotonous expression. Also Chuck I am carrying a tray, do you see this?'

Plot: Bart Bass decides to be his creepy fucking self (Not that Jack is exponentially better in any way but whatever) towards you, Chuck's best friend- but thankfully, Jack accidentally walks in on the scene and gives you a get out of jail free card.

Good old 'lesser of two evils' shit. I love stuff like that.

Warnings: BART BASS being predatory, and a bit of age difference (You and Jack. I'm going by actors ages though so there's only a, like, 11 year age gap between him and Chuck which is not that bad if you ask me). Sexual references.

~~~

Chuck looks from his phone, that's flashing Blairs name, to you and your big, wide eyes and lips mouthing 'Don't you dare', then to his father quietly tapping away on his phone on the couch a few feet away... then back at his phone.

"Charles- " You hiss, prepared to threaten his very existence but he cuts you off first- slipping off the bar stool beside you and heading for the hallway.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom."

Why am I friends with him again!? You think, but stay quiet and hope that Bart doesn't realise that you're back there despite having said hello to you earlier when he came in. You think, if you stay quiet like a mouse, he will forget your existence and keep texting until Chuck gets back- although, who knows how long he and Blair can go on for.

Depends what its about, honestly. If its about revenge or espionage... well, the conversation could last quite some time.

Should I just leave?

The impulse to run away is a strong one, as you sit there with your cheeks heating up and you start to feel nauseated. You never liked Bart Bass, from the moment you met him. Before that, actually. You had heard Chuck talking about him to Nate before you even became friends with them, and none of what you heard was good. And then you did meet him, one day when Chuck invited you over to do a school project. Or 'school project' as he so obnoxiously put it. You really did end up just doing a school project, though. Hence your friendship nowadays. Bart was creepy towards you even then, at 16 with terribly died hair and the wrong eyeshadow.

You've been very careful since then to never be alone with him like this. You would talk to him at parties if you were forced to, say hello to him when Chuck had you at his place and the man walked by, but that is the extent of your communication with the creep. Always, always, someone would be around. Chuck, mostly. But also staff, or Nate, or random fundraiser ladies, or Jack who Chuck the bastard never left alone with all willy-nilly like this, unfortunately, or Lily, or literally anyone else possible on the earth.

You've even hidden away in the men's bathroom, which is disgusting no matter how expensive the restaurant, with Nate before to get away from this man when Chuck once ditched you both at a dinner with him. And that's the story of how you got your first kiss, too, and it was from Nate Archibald. Hell yes.

That's how much this man makes you want to grab your bag and flee.

But you don't. You stay glued to your seat, super still, listening only to the tap-tap-tapping noises that Bart makes and the bump-bump-bump noises your heart is making right into your throbbing ears.

Until it stops.

Not the bump-bump-bumping, oh no. The tapping. And, nightmarishly, it's replaced by a groan and footsteps coming towards your turned back.

"Y/N," As soon as he says your name, his hands fall on your your shoulders and you literally jump under his touch. Shit- Shit- Fuck- what's happening- "I've been meaning to speak with you recently but Chuck- ah. Well you know him. He refused to share with me your telephone number. But I knew you'd turn up here at some point, so not to worry."

"Uh... right." You cant even force yourself to be your normal, cheery, polite self in this position. You just want him to get. off. of. you.

"Did you want a drink?" He asks, in that possibly cheery (But only because its slightly louder then his usual husk level) but mostly still scary voice he uses to convey emotion, letting go of you thankfully and rounding to the other side of the bar. You shake your head, though. He raises his brows, picking out a scotch for himself. "You don't drink? Shocking, seeing as you're friends with my son."

Oh I drink. You think, giving him a shrug. Just not in situations like this one. Also, what must he think of Chuck? Jesus Christ. For sure, your boy likes debauchery but what's wrong with that?

"Well, I like that." Bart pauses before pouring his drink, to appreciate you. "Mature."

Damn it. It makes your skin absolutely crawl.

"So... " You take a deep breath, tucking your hair back behind your ears rather then ruffling it back like you usually would to get it out of your face- lest that be recognised as some kind of extremely subtle form of flirting. God, fear makes you think weird things. "What did you want to discuss?"

"Oh- Just, your future. Where are you going to school? Will you be sticking close to us?"

Us? US? No, I'll be far far away, from you.

You don't really want to tell Bart where you're going to be going to school, because in your fear addled brain you know that that will just lead to 'Which campus?', or 'Where will you be staying?' and you really don't want it to go there.

You're just taking another, shakier deep breath, when the front door of the apartment opens and shuts loudly and set of feet trample down the hallway towards you. Immediately total relief plashes over you and you wipe your face. Oh, thank god.

Jack Bass appears in the doorway to the living room, looking as put-together yet somehow simultaneously still totally relaxed, as always, and forces aa polite smile onto his handsome face. "Brother. Y/N? Its good to see you."

You have no idea. "Good to see you too Jack. Uh- Chuck's in the bathroom."

"Thanks. For that... enlightening, information, Y/N. I needed that." You cheeks flare up in embarrassment, but ultimately you just roll your eyes as Jack flashes you a subtle wink, and turns promptly to his - much, - older brother. "Bart."

The older brother in question looks less then pleased at his baby brothers appearance in his home. Right now. And he possibly isn't thrilled about that little wink, either. Like you two are in on some kind of joke together. "Jack... What are you doing here?"

"Simmer down, bro. Just visiting." Even you know that that excuse is weak, but anything that comes out Jack's own monotonous voice right now is blessed where you're concerned so you certainly don't say anything. Or make any faces, which would be more appropriate. "Y/N, I don't think Bart-man here's too happy about my presence." Hm, no. You'd have to agree with that observation- not that you've looked up at Bart since Jack came in. You wont risk it. Jack glides through the room with the practised grace of a man who's lived 3 quarters of his life in suits and the other, happier quarter in board shorts, and ends up right next to your chair, an arm resting on the bench in front of you.

If you weren't already so nervous about Bart, you would blush about Jack.

"At least tell me you're glad to see me."

You grin, which is less forced then you thought it would be prior to trying it. Damn, he's good. You think, realising he just swepped in here and made you comfortable in less then 50 words. "Always, 'Uncle Jack'."

"Oh," He groans, like it physically pained him to hear you tease him like that. A tiny smirk even slips through his usually emotionless - well, not emotionless. He has one standing colour, that being sly, - stone statue of a face. "'Uncle Jack'- Please, stop. I'm barely a decade older then you."

That's enough to make anything else possible, inappropriate. Unfortunately. "Hey, I said I'm glad to see you." You wink, a bit sly yourself. "Count your blessings."

His grin widens a bit, like the dangerously charming Cheshire cat-type that he is. Genes that Chuck inherited, clearly, if his track record with girls say anything at all, but that Bart obviously missed out on. "You've got a point."

"She's a remarkable young woman." Bart pipes up, making your stomach tie itself up in knots again, and you immediately revert your gaze to your lap. Remarkable young woman... you want to barf. "Who, I was actually having a conversation with before you burst in here, unannounced." He takes a slow sip of his drink, then mutters. "And uninvited."

"Well that's great." Jack straightens up, clapping his hands together and finally showing his teeth in a smile. They're really freaken white, compared to his skin, deeply tanned by the hot Australian sun. "A visit would be kinda uncomfortable without a conversation; I'll join. I can converse with the best of 'em, Bart. I assure you."

"It was private." The old man sneers, thinking that he's got the upper hand on Jack, and all you can do is hope to god that he's wrong.

Jack turns his head back to look at you, and you meet his gaze tentatively. Your eyes scream, 'Please don't leave me alone with that guy'. He promptly looks back to Bart. "Well Bart why don't we ask the lady in the room what she wants? We are gentlemen here aren't we?" Then Jack makes a face, all crumpled up and unsure, for a moment. "Err. Well actually... 'gentleman' might be a bold faced lie. We'll ask anyway. Y/N! Do you mind if I weigh in here?"

"Not at all." You say quickly, flashing a tiny, thankful smile. He gives you another wink- this time actually subtle. So Bart didn't see it. Your smile gets a little bit bigger, relaxing. He's got you.

"Great." You watch him pull out the stool beside you, that Chuck - who has still not returned from his phone call with Blair. You assume some, likely cruel vengeance must be involved. Possibly involving that Humphrey guy, - had vacated and settles down in it. He then sets his arms firmly on the bench and looks up attentively at Bart, not breaking eye contact with him. Boy these Bass's like their stare downs. "So?" He prompts, expectantly. And a little arrogantly- a Bass speciality that you truly don't mind at all. "What's on the agenda, today?"

Bart glares heatedly, back.

~

Throughout the awkward discussion between the three of you, which your good friend Chuck has yet to return to discover - at this point you're resigned to him having climbed out the window and scaled the building probably, - , Jack constantly, skilfully changes the subject for you whenever Bart rears to close to somewhere uncomfortable. He makes jokes that make you laugh, he nudges you with his elbow at times - but never touches you any more then that, although you honestly wouldn't mind it if he did, - and takes the attention off you a lot. At times you truly thought you saw steam come out of Bart's ears.

When finally Bart gives up and excuses himself, saying he as an early dinner with Lily, you feel exhausted and relieved. After the door swings shut behind him, you cover your face with your hands and deeply sigh.

"So, what was that about? You looked like a trapped mouse. I recognise that look, I invented that look." You pull back slightly from your hands and glance over at him, to see him thoughtful for a moment. "Well, not by making it. By... causing... it... Either way, it was not good." He shakes his head, taking a sip of his own drink - scotch, - that he made Bart pour for him; Raising his eyebrows at you for an explanation over the rim of the glass.

Jack's always been great, like this. Even when he was horrible, he was the lesser of two evils between him and Bart. Good for a laugh and quality eye candy in a pinch- and that counts for a hell of a lot when it comes to surviving Bart Bass and the Upper East Side. And he had the power and pull of an adult, but knew what the hell was going on like one of you.

So he always made you feel at ease.

You ruffle your hair back, and sigh, straightening your back finally from their hunched over position they live in when you're uncomfortable and pushing back your shoulders. "He was just, saying some weird stuff... and Chuck disappeared to talk to Blair." At that, Jack nods in total understanding. Like ah, yeah. Got ya. Finally, you shrug. "He just makes me really uncomfortable. No offence, but I hate your brother."

As you watch Jack's eyes don't even flicker; He's totally on board with what you've said. Then he finishes the rest of his scotch in one gulp. "Ahh- I hate him too."

"As do we all." Chuck's voice suddenly pops up, as he appears in the doorway like Jack had earlier. You have to practice some serious self control so as to not laugh, at Chuck so coincidentally turning up again at the perfect moment to proclaim his hatred for his father. Jack grins back at Chuck coldly, nodding. Yeah. "Anyway, Y/N, I apologise but I'll be having to abandon you. Blair's waiting for me at her, empty, apartment." He pauses for a moment for dramatic effect, in perfect Chuck Bass fashion, and you roll your eyes, grinning. Jack smirks. "But you're welcome to stick around a while and help yourself to the amenities All on my tab, of course. Good to see you again, Jack." Then he pockets his phone and heads toward the door. The second Bass of the day leaves the building.

"Bye, nephew!" Jack waives as the elevator doors close behind Chuck then swiftly turns around back to you, to which you raise your eyebrows. "So, what do we do now?"

"I dunno." Shrugging you grin and turn your stool to angle your legs towards Jack. "When Chuck says those magical words 'All on my tab'," Those words, oh; You speak them with just as much raw, breathy sexual arousal as the man himself would. As the words demand. 'All on my tab'. Good lord, sex if they were words. "I tend to take advantage."

"An easy girl to please; That's what I like to see." Your cheeks flame up at those words out of Jack's mouth as he turns to look down at the room service menu. Yes, Jack Bass has toed the line, between platonic and flirtatious since the very moment you met the man... but that seemed a little bit more then toeing the line.

And you get a far different reaction to him doing it then you do the other Bass brother.

You don't even really mind the implications of his words.

"You're staying back with me?" You ask, feeling hopeful at the idea.

"Yeah well, I cant in, uh, good conscience," He makes a bit of a show to you, of pressing his hand to his chest totally earnestly as those words 'good conscience' come out of his mouth. "leave you here unguarded in case Bart comes back, can I? Besides, the way you said 'All on my tab'- man, you could sell moonshine at an AA meeting with that voice."

"Ha," You laugh, rolling your eyes and shaking your head. "Well, thanks."

"Oh. Don't thank me. You're just using what uh, your mama gave you. I actually encourage you totally, to do that more often- "

"No!" You exclaim, sighing in exasperation; But there is still a smile on your face you cant seem to shake. "For not leaving, today. When you walked in. It would've sucked if you had, not that I would've blamed you at all."

"Hey, just call me your knight in shining armour." He doesn't look up from the menu, flicking through it. Then turns to you with one of those beach boy/politician, toothless grins of his. "Besides you were automatically, my favourite person in the apartment. I mean, anyone with... uhhh- different, appendages to what I have, instantly gets a one-way ticket access to my rare bouts of chivalry. Now come over here, pick out what you want off here."

You just gape at him and that comment, making him stifle a laugh and return to the menu himself.

Bass's.

[zodiyack]

In Letters

Requested by @imaginesbymk​: Oh gosh hi! Could I request a imagine w/ Eugene Sledge falling in love with y/n and when he returns home he surprises them with flowers and asks y/n out on a date? Hope this was ok!

Pairing: Eugene Sledge x Female!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, mentions of war

Words: 1,795

Summary: (See Request)

Note: So I got a little carried away and I’m not too proud of the ending, but I tried my best and I hope you liked it :D

Taglist: @matth1w​, @redspaceace-writes​, @fandom-puff​, @darling-i-read-it​, @simonsbluee​, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow​

Masterlist | Joe Mazzello Masterlist

My dearest Gene,

The nights seem quiet, deafeningly so. The room feels lonesome without your presence. Although it pains me to admit it, it’s not just my chambers that are haunted with such sadness.

I feel goosebumps rise from my skin as I lie in bed, similar to the ones I’d get when you wrapped your arms around me. The hairs on my neck rise just as they did when you whispered in my ear each night, assuring me that nothing could hurt me, for you were there to fend off whatever creatures dwelled in the night. But alas, these are not from you this time. My body reacts in such ways to a frightening feeling, one I almost forgot having never felt it after the first night you snuck into my room, and the nights prior to your descent. With you away, I have no soldier to protect me whilst I rest.

My words, melancholy yet true, shan’t bring you down... I hope. Please do not assume wrongly of my intent; I am indeed very proud of you. So much so that I simply cannot help but worry.

What has my worries, you may ask?

Well, my soldier, it’s you. Whether this letter will actually find your soft hands at all, I know not, however, you told me to have hope, so I will. Before you set this parchment aside and go out to your tasks, I ask one last request.

Take your advice, and have hope. When the nights become too much, think not of the horrors, but of me, of this letter, of the nights back home wherein you protect me like you are now protecting us.

You’re so strong and brave. I find it mandatory that you know that and believe it, not just hear the words and brush it off as a compliment. Eugene Sledge, it is a fact. You hold others up as though you are Atlas and they are the world that you carry upon your shoulders. Even now, you carry a burden and you march forward nonetheless. It amazes me. Inspires me, truly.

To end this letter, I’m unsure. Do I make up some falsehood to fill you with delight? No, no, I cannot do such a thing to you, even if I wanted to. I can try all I want, but anytime a lie is formed on the tip of my tongue whenever I talk to you, it rolls backwards rather than out like I want it to.

What ever are you doing to me, Eugene Sledge?

Y/n

Darling Eugene,

You didn’t have to send me the necklace. You know that, right? Nonetheless... I have yet to take it off since I received it. It smells like you. Before the war. Your scent lulls me to sleep as though you are lying with me once more. I’m too overjoyed to remind myself of the reality. I hope you received my gift. And I hope it gives you the same affects yours does unto me.

I try to cling to the hope that you may return safe and unharmed. Any type of war is never easy, I know that, I really do, and I know you won’t be the same person you were when you left. However, you will always be my Gene. With that being said; I will never turn my back on you the way you wrote, the way you feared I would.

Lest you too lack of sleep more than before, I have included a gift of my own. See to it as...a gift to make things even. It’s only fair, seeing as you sent me an accessory you crafted. If you haven’t seen it yet- open it.

A locket can be seen as a feminine accessory, yes, but in truth, it’s attached to no sex. I do hope you like it. I’ve also debated on sending you one with a photo of us both, but settled on purchasing matching necklaces. One for you, which holds my photo, and one for me, which holds yours. Before you lecture me on spending money on you- I spent it for both my sake and yours.

I’ve read every book you gifted me throughout the years and still, you are not yet in my arms nor beside me in the study. I try to imagine, but it gets harder as time goes on. I miss you.

I hold strong aversion to the time it shall take for your return. Nothing pains me more than the suffering you must be going through, and the suffering I too am experiencing. Though my pain is less than yours, it is still great in its ability to affect me. Life without you is dull, meaningless, gut-wrenching and awfully depressing.

Have you made any friends? Other than “Peaches” and “Snafu”, whomever those men are. Perhaps you can introduce some of them to me when you’re home, I’d love to meet the men who kept you company. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine. (Peaches is quite an interesting name though. I mean no ill-will behind my curiosity, but...is “Peaches” his real name?)

In reference to my previous question; I myself haven’t made any new friends. To be completely honest, I rarely leave the house. Whenever I step foot outside...it feels...well...pardon my language, like I’m entering a shit show, stepping into hell itself. I’d rather be in hell than live in a world without you.

Think not of my prior comment. Merely bask in the positive parts of this letter. For me.

All my love,

Y/n

Eugene,

I heard you boys are coming home? I do hope the news is true. I fear I cannot face yet another disappointment, nor much longer without you. As time has gone by, nights spent without you beside me, days awfully bore...your face seems to fade as though it plots to abscond.

Funny. It’s seldom that I think of anything else, and it still rebuffs all my attempts to conjure your image into my brain. Whilst I have photographs to assist in my efforts, I can’t quite see your beauty in full, as though the photo is faceless. I miss your charming features and I loathe myself for having struggled to remember them now, even if it happened against my own wishes.

Albeit my words, which were truthful, I still see you in my dreams. Only, when I wake, your face abates until it’s lost in the nothingness, lightyears away from my grasp.

My sincerest apologies for the briefness of this letter and its majority of sorrowful content. I would write you a thousand joyous letters if only I had the strength to tell you falsities.

Awaiting your return,

Y/n

Each letter he received from her warmed his heart and never failed to put a smile on his face. Despite being in a literal warzone, joy never left his heart. The nights where he couldn’t sleep due to the things he had to see, the things his imagination conjured up, or just due to the lack of Y/n. It was the last one more often than not.

Snafu teased Sledge with each letter he managed to catch a glimpse of. Despite the man’s suggestive teasing, the two in question were only friends, inseparable since childhood. However, he wasn’t completely wrong with his jabs. Eugene felt his heart long for her like hers did him, but his longing wasn’t purely platonic. Since his teen years, he felt an almost magnetic-like pull towards her. Her letters only amplified the harshness of the tug on the invisible rope.

His hands shook as he wrote back to her, the first few lines seeming very unlike himself, but the rest so poetic and beautiful, even Snafu was speechless. The words were there, but they only really flowed onto the paper after he let go of control and wrote from the heart. Honest and sincere, he told her as much as he could.

The only thing he didn’t include ever, was a confession.

It took almost all of his strength to prevent himself from giving in to the urge of being lovesick-fool. But as her letters grew more desolate, as the war became more intense, as his time to write shortened...he couldn’t bring himself to confess. He couldn’t bring himself to push that onto her- a confession during the war, forcing her to live with his last letter being a question he could never fulfill.

...

He underestimated himself in so many ways.

The second he returned home, he bought flowers and rushed to find her, not even caring to make sure he looked his best. It was the first thing on his mind. Despite being ever so tired, his eyelids begging to drop for a little while longer, his feet sore beneath him- he powered through.

His fist rapped against the door, a quiet hiss leaving his mouth through his teeth at the feeling of his skin coming in contact with the hard wood. It creaked open, half of a face, an eye mostly, coming into view slowly before it widened and the door swung open.

“Gene!”

She surged forward, wrapping her arms around him as she leapt into his grasp. The two chuckled for a moment before her feet found the ground again and they stood in silence. Drinking each other in, all they could do was smile.

“Oh!” Eugene exclaimed once he’d returned to reality, holding out his hand to Y/n. “I uh- bought these for you.”

“Thank you.” She smiled sweetly, accepting the gift with teary eyes.

“But...not as a friend gift, really.”

“Well of course not, we’re best friends!”

“No, no... I mean it as a step above best friends. I mean them as a gift and a question.” Her brows furrowed and she tilted her head, visibly confused. “I know I just came home- I haven’t even changed my clothes for fucks sake, but I need to ask. I’ve wanted to ask for so long.”

Y/n’s eyes darted around, even more confused than before. “Ask what?”

Eugene cleared his throat, finally meeting her eyes; “Would you be interested in joining me for a meal...or, more specifically, a date? It doesn’t have to be today-”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.” Y/n bit her lower lip and giggled. “I would love to. Tonight, after you get some rest, I’ll meet you at your place.” Y/n placed a hand on Eugene’s cheek, smiling at him. Then, her lips replaced her hand. She turned and walked back inside, closing the door with a smile.

The soldier outside, who had faced and won two wars around the same time, stood outside, hand where Y/n’s lips were, and a matching smile upon his lips. He was undoubtedly glad he didn’t confess in letters.

[mrsalwayswrite]

It’s Always Been You (Eugene Roe x f!Reader)

I have mixed feelings about this piece. But who doesn’t love Soft Roe?

Warnings: couple swear words but PURE FLUFFY FLUFF

Words: 2700

Tag List: @happyveday​ @saritanotserena​ @sydney-m​ @evelynshelby​

  I stood in front of the mirror, unable to believe the person looking back was actually me. I brushed my hands down the front of the gown, enjoying its smooth, silky texture. Such a contrast to the stiff, dirty ODs I had become accustomed to. Light makeup on my face, something I had not indulged in for years. I looked… dare I say… beautiful. Even as I witnessed myself dress up in the mirror, I doubted my own reflection. It felt like I was someone else. Today, though, that was what I wanted.  

 It was a Sunday and everyone was still celebrating being in Zell Am See. We had thought Germany was beautiful but it had nothing on Austria.

 In his pilfering, Captain Speirs had found an abandoned, wealthy home that he thought I might enjoy. He purposefully pulled me aside and told me to investigate the master bedroom before anyone else got to it. At my questioning look, he just gave a wink and said he would stand guard until I was done. Without another word, he lit a cigarette and rummaged through his newest acquisitions. 

 Intrigued and still confused, since everyone knew I did not care much about finding treasures, I wandered into the home and up the grand stairwell until I finally reached the master bedroom. My jaw dropped when I saw what he was referring to and purposefully left for me. I owed him a huge bottle of liquor after this. Whoever the wife was that lived here had expensive taste. There were racks of beautiful gowns and dresses, ranging from whimsical day dresses to breath-taking evening gowns. I spent about an hour just touching all the beautiful gowns, in awe that clothing like this was even real. Even the heels and few pieces of jewelry left behind boggled my mind in their quality. It was a fairytale. It had to be.  

 So, I had decided while all the men were continuing to get drunk, blow things up and joy ride…. I was going to embrace my femininity. Something I had not enjoyed since Albourne, so long ago. 

 Now here I stood, having spent entirely too long getting ready for some kind of elegant ball. The gown I commandeered was an emerald green color, making me feel like I was wearing a gemstone, with wide straps but left my arms bare and dipped low in the back. The red lipstick I found made my lips pop in the bright light of the bathroom. My favorite thing was the small gold chain necklace I discovered half hiding under a dresser, as if dropped and forgotten by whoever was leaving quickly. I wondered if in another life this could have been me regularly, attending socialite functions and dressing up like a princess. Instead I was used to dirt and blood marring my skin, ill-fitting ODs and a helmet that constantly slipped over my eyes. 

 For this moment, just for tonight… I could pretend otherwise. Pretend I was someone important, someone elegant. 

 When I finally stepped out of the wealthy house, Speirs took one look at the gown draped over my arm and the pair of black heels dangling from my hand, and suggested I use the officer's house to get ready in. 

 Taking a deep breath, I took one last look at myself in the mirror. If only my family could see me now, I thought. I slipped on the heels and walked out of the bathroom, the gown trailing lightly behind me. 

 Tonight was about me. Doing something special for me. To remind myself I was more than just a soldier, more than the scars I now bore from our time in combat. That I had not completely lost myself to war and its carnage. Beauty could still be found in the little things...the stolen moments. Like a stunning gown and red lipstick. 

 I could hear the officers downstairs, talking about something, followed by a sharp bark of laughter from Nixon. Before I disappeared into the upstairs bathroom, I had told them I was going to watch the sunset by the lake and if I came back after dark to not worry about me. 

 Being extra careful in the gown, I descended the stairs. One foot at a time. One nervous breath at a time. Beyond aware of how different I looked. 

 As I stepped into view of those lounging around, most playing poker at a table in the middle of the room, silence struck. I could feel their eyes land heavily on me. 

 "Holy shit." Nixon said, mouth dropped open. 

 I stepped down the last two steps, brushing down my gown to smooth out the nonexistent wrinkles. I tried to tease, their amazed looks making me uncomfortable. "I swear, it's like you guys have forgotten I am in fact a woman."

 "Uh huh. Can't forget that right now." Nixon took a sip of his drink in hand. 

 Harry asked, a smirk on his face as tapped his cards against the table. "Where you going dressed like that?"

 "Going to watch the sunset." I reminded them. 

 "Dressed like that?!" Nixon sputtered then narrowed his eyes at me. "Looks like you're planning on meeting someone."

 "Does a woman have to dress up only for a man?" Before anyone could answer, I pointed a finger at the officers. "The correct answer is no. I can dress up for myself. I'll be back in a while." 

 "Y/n?"

 I looked at Winters, surprised to see him sitting in an armchair near the fireplace reading while the other officers were playing cards. "Sir?"

 "You look beautiful."

 "Thank you, sir." I smiled at Winters, receiving a soft one in return.

 "You got a weapon on you?" Speirs asked around a cigarette between his lips. 

 "Maybe." 

 He froze, then slowly pulled the cigarette out and started to rise from his seat. 

 "Christ! Yes! I've got my knife! Anything else, dad, or can I go now?"

 "Be smart, don't stay out too late or talk to any boys." He deadpanned, shuffling the cards in his hand. The gleam in his eyes let me know he was just teasing, but would also have no qualms stabbing anyone who bothered me. 

 Amidst the others chuckling, I groaned. "I'm leaving now."

 Quickly, I walked out before anyone could try and convince me to stay or worse- go change. 

 Thankfully, even in the fading daylight, the air was still somewhat warm where I did not need a shawl. I could hear some faint cheers from the enlisted men but I slipped behind the rows of houses and headed down the lakeside path. I walked towards my favorite spot overlooking the lake. Colors danced upon the water, making it appear as if on fire. A few ambitious stars peeked out from above in the sky painted by angels. Never before would I have imagined finding myself somewhere so absolutely gorgeous. If heaven was real, I hoped it looked like Austria. 

 Standing there, I found myself humming and gently swaying to a Billie Holiday song. My arms wrapped around myself loosely, I tried to soak in everything. I wanted to remember this moment forever, to create new memories to replace the bad ones. The nightmares. 

 "Blue moon you saw me standing alone

Without a dream in my heart

Without a love of my own…"

 "Y/n?"

 I turned to look over my shoulder, not expecting anyone else around. The voice was a dead giveaway but I was shocked our Cajun medic was down this way. "Hey, Gene."

 He stood several paces from me; his medic satchel, that he never went anywhere without, hanging off his side. He stared at me for a long moment, eyes dancing over me in a way that made me self-conscious of how much skin showed. Suddenly, he blinked rapidly as if waking from a dream. "What…" he cleared his throat, "what are you doin' here?"

 "Watching the sunset." I glanced over my shoulder at the lake then looked back at him. 

 "Mmm...dressed like you should be in the pictures?"

 I laughed, even as I felt my face warming. I ran my hands over the gown, still in awe that I was wearing something so expensive. For the most part of the past 4 years, I had been caked in grime and sweat; even though my skin was clean now, I felt too dirty to wear something so fine. 

 "I've never worn anything like this. I just...wanted to do something...for myself."

 "Mmm… well, I'll leave you be. Goodnight." With a single nod, he hesitated then turned around, beginning to walk up the path back to the houses. 

 "You know…" I said loudly, watching his feet still as he turned back around to look at me. "It would be a shame to be dressed up and not able to dance."

 He ducked his head slightly, a bashful smile on his face. I could see the uncertainty on his face. The desire to dance, to hold me close but also the concern for crossing that unspoken line separating us. For two years we had been tiptoeing around our growing feelings. Both aware but never acknowledging. It was in the secret looks, the subtle soft touches, the constant desire to seek one another out amongst a crowd, the solace our presence created when together. The knowledge hung there between us, with one slip we would both fall headlong over that cliff. So we kept back, together as friends but separate as lovers, even if we could read the desire in one another's eyes. It was safer this way. 

 Until now. 

 Without a word, he slowly approached me, as if waiting for me to change my mind, to tell him no, to maintain our status quo. My lips only turned up in a smile as he drew closer, encouraging him, telling him I wanted this. He dropped his satchel carefully on the ground. Our eyes locked, both aware of how this moment could change everything we had built. Carefully, he reached forward and clasped my hand, pulling me into his body. My lips parted on a quiet gasp, feeling his warm breath span across my face, his hand holding mine… and for once, neither one of us was covered in the blood of a fellow paratrooper. I lifted my hand to his shoulder, the muscles tensing underneath my palm. When he made no further movement, I grabbed his other hand and placed it on my waist. For a moment I thought he would reject this, to walk away as he seemed to stay frozen. Then with the softest whisper of my name, as if that was the key to unlock this moment, he pulled me even closer and took the lead. 

 In the stolen evening gown I found and Gene in his ODs, we danced. Like there was no war to haunt us. No rules against fraternizing. No fear of the future that lay before us. It was just him and I, in this moment of beauty and joy and life. We danced. He led me in a simple box step. Our pounding heartbeats, the fluttering of my gown and the soothing sound of the lake lapping on its shore, the only soundtrack we needed. 

 "You are beautiful."

 My face heated up at the compliment. "It's the dress and lipstick."

 "Non, mon chérie." He drawled in that perfect accent and tipped my face back to meet his soft gaze. "It's you. It's always been you."

 I stared into his soulful eyes, a new burning in them. Where once it had only been a candle trying desperately to beat back the darkness; now a bonfire replaced it. Something darkness knew it could never defeat. This man who held me so tenderly, like I was some kind of priceless gem, who had seen the brutality and horrors of war but still kept going, still trying his hardest to save his men even when others would have given up. He was beautiful, both inside and out. 

 "You need to stop lookin' at me like." He whispered; eyes glued to mine. 

 It was when he spoke, I realized we were no longer dancing. When had we stopped? Our bodies were still pressed together, our fingers now entwined but our feet rooted to the path. The air between us felt anything but still. An ardent intensity hovered between us, binding us to the moment, preventing us from escaping it. The sounds around us disappeared. All I could see, all I could feel and sense and taste… was him. 

 "Why?" I asked, my voice breathy. 

 "I might be tempted to mess up your lipstick."

 A nervous giggle escaped me. Instead of dispelling the profound moment, it only seemed to enhance it. With deliberate slowness, I moved my hand on his shoulder to the back of his neck. "I wouldn't mind."

 His hand moved to cup my cheek, holding me still as he leaned in. His lips ghosted over mine, the sweetest of sensations. It sent sparks shooting through me. After he leaned back just out of lips reach. Our eyes met once again, our breathing quickening even from the faint touch. As if our bodies were synced, I rose up at the same time he leaned forward. This time when our lips met, it was with a kiss long overdue. Our lips molded to one another, basking in the taste of the other. Both my hands slipped to the nape of his neck. His hand on my cheek drifted to the back of my head, keeping me from moving away. His other hand slid to my lower back, drawing me closer… and closer.

 The kiss deepened, pulling long dormant feelings from both of us, now finally exposed without reprimand. In the midst, his hand snaked up my side to brush a thumb over the underside of my breast. At the sensation, I gasped in the kiss, surprised by his forwardness. Surprised by the pure wanton need it shot through me. As my lips parted in the gasp, his tongue thrust into my mouth like he owned it. As if he needed more of my taste. Needed more of me. As if a simple kiss would never be enough. Not to him. He quickly drew my own tongue in a dance that soon left my knees weak and wobbling. I found myself clinging to him, not just in desire, but also to keep me upright, else I melted into a puddle of sheer bliss. 

 All too soon, we were forced apart by our lungs screaming for air. He pressed his forehead to mind, his hand still skimming my side from my hip to the underside of my breast and back down. 

 "It’s you. It’s always been you." He whispered as if finally able to confide his deepest secret. The words spilling forth like water out of cracks in a dam, held back for too long. "Since I first talked to you in Toccoa about tryin' to sneak a laxative into Sobel's coffee. And in Bastogne… you were always there for me. Checkin' on me. Makin' sure I knew I wasn't alone. But we're in a goddamn war and I couldn't say nothin'. Seein' you standin' out here, lookin' like an angel, I just...I had to…"

 I pressed a finger to those kiss-swollen lips of his, silencing the onslaught of secrets. "Gene, I'm going to need you to stop talking and kiss me again."

 He smirked, nuzzling my neck for a second. When he spoke, I could feel his hot breath and lips against my skin. "Yes, ma'am."

 This time there was no hesitation, no wavering in dilemma. Our lips touched and it felt like it was meant to be. No great fireworks in the night sky, no great orchestra announcing our love. It felt more like two puzzles pieces finally fitting together. Like the sun peeking through on a cloudy day. It was perfect. 

 When we broke apart again, I felt delirious with joy and the look on his face said something similar. I laid my head on his chest, his arms wrapping around my waist. Bodies pressed against one another, molded together like clay. Without a word, we began swaying. The soundtrack of our shared heartbeats and the lake's waves drowning out anything else. 

 Nothing in the world had changed. We were still paratroopers occupying Austria. Men were still dying. The war was still going strong in the Pacific. Evil endured. 

 But in this moment, in our own little world. 

 Everything changed. 

[huayno]

from neon genesis evangelion, vol. 12

The Mysterious Stranger

The Anime, the Manga, and the Mark Twain Novella

"God will provide for this kitten." "What makes you think so?" Ursula's eyes snapped with anger. "Because I know it!" she said. "Not a sparrow falls to the ground without His seeing it." "But it falls, just the same. What good is seeing it fall?"

—from The Mysterious Stranger

There is a short novel by Mark Twain, written near the end of his life and published posthumously, entitled The Mysterious Stranger. The tale is set in a small village in 16th century Austria, where three boys one day meet a young man different from themselves: "he had new and good clothes on, and was handsome and had a winning face and a pleasant voice, and was easy and graceful and unembarrassed, not slouchy and awkward and diffident, like other boys."

The mysterious stranger starts to do small but amazing tricks for them—causing water to turn to ice; conjuring grapes and bread out of air; even making birds that can fly out of clay. At last one boy, the story's narrator, works up the courage to ask the stranger who he is:

"'An angel,' he said, quite simply, and set another bird free and clapped his hands and made it flyaway."

The angel then proceeds to really impress them by making an entire toy castle, complete with five hundred miniature soldiers and workmen that move around by themselves. Naturally the boys get involved with this ultimate playset, making their own knights and cannon and cavalry, and although they get rather nervous again when the angel reveals his name is Satan, he assures them he is not that Satan, but only named after the fallen one.

"We others are still ignorant of sin; we are not able to commit it; we are without blemish, and we shall abide in that estate always." Distracted by two of the miniature workmen, "Satan reached out his hand and crushed the life out of them with his fingers... and went on talking where he had left off: 'We cannot do wrong; neither have we any disposition to do it, for we do not know what it is." Horrified as the other boys are, "he made us drunk with the joy of being with him and of looking into the heaven of his eyes, and of feeling the ecstasy that thrilled along our veins from the touch of his hand.'"

Yes, Kaworu Nagisa made quite an impression on the fans of Neon Genesis Evange/ion, despite the fact that, in the original broadcast version of the TV show (before it got all director's-cutted, box-setted, special-editioned, and platinum-lined) he shows up for only slightly less than thirteen minutes of total screen time, the climax of which being an entire minute where nothing happens at all.

That's what being a beautiful angel will do for you, especially when you make the most of your thirteen minutes on Earth by having a Whirlwind romance with the main character that ends in a lover's quarrel with Prog Knives and finally a voluntary martyrdom at the hand of your boy here. Relationships don't come any more tragic than that of Kaworu Nagisa and Shinji Ikari, and when fans (including this one) first saw it on TV, the affair was so brief and shocking the story logic of it didn't click in until much later.

In the anime, Kaworu is acknowledged as the Final Messenger, and, of all the Angels Shinji has to fight, this is the most ruthless battle, won at the highest possible cost to himself. It took even longer for me to realize that the showdown in episode 24 had also taken us full circle from Shinji's first fight in episodes 1 and 2, which emphasized his personal helplessness against the looming Angel Sachiel. Against Kaworu, it is the Angel who becomes the small, helpless figure, while Shinji is represented only by the gargantuan, frightful helm and arm of his Eva Unit-O1. We never see Shinji's human face once throughout the whole final minute of decision.

So as Col. Trautman would have said instead of Major Katsuragi, "It's over, Shinji! IT'S OVER!" Kaworu v. Shinji (or Kaworu x Shinji, in the doujinshi) was the big final showdown between humanity and the Angels. And with the outcome leaving Shinji at his most wretched ever, wouldn't it be nice if everyone just died—your wish being Eva's command, as it turns out that fortunately humanity hardly ever needed the Angels to slaughter itself.

"I am perishing already—I am failing—I am passing away. In a little while you will be alone in shoreless space, to wander its limitless solitudes without friend or comrade forever...But I, your poor servant, have revealed you to yourself and set you free. Dream other dreams, and better!"

—from The Mysterious Stranger

Satan's words near the end of Mark Twain's story also uncannily prefigure the end of the world and the Instrumentality project, both of which follow his death in the TV show in such quick order you picture Anno as a hairnetted fry cook dinging the counter bell. By now you see Sadamoto's handling of Kaworu, and perhaps nothing illustrates the different experiences of the manga and the anime better than his handling of this critical character.

No longer the last Angel to be fought, Kaworu actually becomes an active Eva pilot and fights an Angel—the dude even has the nerve to observe the fight is fixed, based on his knowledge of SEELE's prophecies. Sadamoto of course introduces him at an earlier point in the narrative—at the equivalent of episode 19's end—and then sends him to NERV near the equivalent of episode 22's beginning—before certain important events, to put it mildly, can occur. When one notes this kind of thing, of course, it's important to restate that the Evangelion manga has always been a separate but equal "official" version of Eva, with no particular obligation to align itself with the anime, and indeed it was with Book Five, the first released after The End of Evangelion, that Sadamoto began to truly seem free to go in his own direction.

Nevertheless, as the "other" official version of the Eva story, it is reasonable for fans to view it as an "alternate history" relative to the anime, and the way Kaworu has been introduced makes us realize the manga may end very differently indeed. Despite the fact we know here that Kaworu is an Angel from the very beginning, he appears destined to at least hang around long enough to pick up a few paychecks. It's not clear when your health benefits kick in at NERV, although if Ritsuko is your primary caregiver it might be best to forego them.

Sadamoto's remarks upon visiting the U.S. in 2003 indicated that the Eva manga might (might) be planned as a twelve-volume series in all. There is still plenty of room for speculation, as the slow working pace to which the artist himself often refers has of late become almost relativistic—as of this writing, it has been eight months since Sadamoto has drawn a new installment of Eva in Japan, and hence a Volume Ten is nowhere in sight. It may be small comfort, but those of you reading this are pretty much in the same drifting boat as the Japanese fans.

"An angel's love is sublime, adorable, divine, beyond the imagination of man—infinitely beyond it! But it is limited to his own august order. If it fell upon one of your race for only an instant, it would consume its object to ashes. No, we cannot love men but we can be harmlessly indifferent to them; we can also like them, sometimes."

—from The Mysterious Stranger

And with Book Nine we see the most staggering difference thus far between the manga and the anime; Sadamoto's Shinji doesn't even like Kaworu, much less love him. Of course, you could say the less-ethereal Kaworu of the manga is harder to love. I can't believe Sadamoto had him tell Rei he thought she'd be "heftier." And yet he did.

I don't think any A.T. Fields actually got penetrated in the anime; while I do think Shinji felt sexually attracted to Kaworu, and that you the audience are supposed to feel that he felt it, what Kaworu himself thought was a very different matter. Like Rei, I believe Kaworu to be innocent—coyly, he appears not to be so, because while Rei needed to be reached out to, Kaworu has come to reach out; whereas Rei has spent her existence being observed; Kaworu has come to observe.

Indeed, in the manga, Shinji's irritation about Kaworu's invasion of his personal space seems almost a parody of his attitude in the anime. In the TV show, when Kaworu put his hand on Shinji's, he flinched but did not pull away; whereas in the manga it's easy to imagine Shinji slugging him. Instead he goes to run after Rei, hoping to get closer to her again.

I hardly think the change reflects any phobia on Sadamoto's part (after all, we even get to see Shinji's "Unit One" in the manga), but the fact the manga Shinji is less emotionally bleak and empty, and hence less vulnerable. Shinji's just as negative in the manga, of course, but it's an active variety, rather than the passive negative creep (in the best Nirvana song sense) we know from the anime. We don't have to imagine him slugging Gendo; from the look of surprise on Dad's face in Book Seven he would have smacked the beard off his face if Kaji hadn't stopped him.

Neither is Shinji in a positive emotional situation where we leave him here, either; indeed at this point in the manga there's arguably no one he can turn to—the more brutal fate that befell Toji has cut him off from his school friends, Rei has become hesitant, Kaji is dead, and his perennial self-esteem booster Asuka is going to need to rebuild her internal supply before she can even get back to calling him a loser and idiot.

So, like Misato trying to put her own hand on Shinji's, all I can do for now while we wait for Sadamoto-sensei is to recommend for your winter vacation reading list The Mysterious Stranger, which I can almost guarantee will give you new angles to think about Kaworu, and may even earn you class credit besides. A quick look at the novel's comments on Amazon list a teacher who says fundamentalist students walked out of his class when he taught it; another compares it to The Matrix; those who dislike it call it "sick," "bitter," and "twisted." Sounds like good old Evangelion to me!

—Carl Gustav Horn

[a drawing of Kaworu holding a kitten]

Although The Mysterious Stranger can also be found in a number of print editions, including The Portable Mark Twain from Penguin (haw haw), the story, being from the days when mp3s came on shellacked cylinders, is legally available online at http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/toc/modeng/public/TwaMyst.html. The same site has a book called The Holy Bible, King James Version, which fans of Evangelion might also enjoy, although it's technically "Editor's Choice."

[donutloverxo]

Two is better than one

Note- Also my contribution to our weekly challenge based on the moodboard above.

Please do not steal or repost my works. Reblogs are welcome.

Summary- All this shit just because you wanted some of that russian pussy or/ how you navigate a relationship with your new girlfriend and your fiancé.

Warnings- smut, mff threesome, over stimulation, dom/sub dynamics, poly relationship, no romanrogers, angst

Pairing- Steve Rogers x reader x Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers x reader

Word count-6.5k

Masterlist

You had been hanging out with your fiancé’s friends at a bar. It was sort of a post-mission party, a way for everyone to relax and wind down. Steve Sam and Tony had just gotten back from a three week long mission. You had missed Steve terribly. Even though you talked daily it was still hard to not have him be there for you when you got back from work. Steve being the overprotective, sweet, perfect boyfriend that he is asked Nat to look after you while he was gone.

Normally you would've been mad. You’re a grown woman who can take care of herself. You didn’t need a bodyguard or caretaker. But it all worked out amazingly as you got to spend more time with Nat and somehow ended up becoming even better friends. You didn’t even notice when the three weeks were up.

“I bet I’m a better kisser than you” Nat cheekily smiling at Steve.

Everyone else had went home or to another bar. Right now it was just you and Nat in front of Steve in a booth. Somehow you had started talking about his ‘golden boy’ persona and his old school values.

“Yeah?” He returned her smile draping his arm over the back of his seat “I’m willing to bet you’re not”

“There’s only one way to find out” She giggled turning her head to her right to look at you biting her lower lip. You both had had one too many tequila shots.

“It’s only fair. She has already kissed you” You said to Steve referring to the time Nat had kissed him so they wouldn’t blow their cover. He was so sweet fessing up to you as soon as he got back, expecting you to be mad.

Before he could say anything Nat grabbed your chin crashing her lips onto yours. She felt warm and soft. You pressed your fingertips against the curve of her cheekbones. Her lips were just as plump as Steve’s albeit a bit smaller. She slipped her tongue into your mouth as you sighed into the kiss. She pulled away as you both tried to catch your breaths.

You were all silent for a while, Steve staring at the both of you, his lips pressed in a firm line. You couldn’t read his expression, which was strange. Usually you could easily tell what was going on in his mind. You knew how much men were obsessed with lesbians or girl-on-girl things but Steve wasn’t that kind of guy. “So?” he asked you.

“Who’s the better kisser?” Nat gave you a cocky smirk as she assumed she had already won.

“You’re both good...” You paused thinking about the right words to choose “in your own way”

“She’s just trying to spare your feelings Rogers” Nat scoffed.

“She obviously likes me better”

You changed the subject before the situation could escalate anymore. You had to resist the urge to ask Steve who was a better kisser between you and Nat. But you knew he would choose you. Nat sure had left you wanting more. You wished you could pull her in for another breathtaking kiss. You avoided looking at her for the rest of the night so you wouldn’t be tempted.

“Look at that ass” You giggled hanging off of Steve’s shoulder. You were too drunk to walk or to even comprehend what was going on around you. You felt so giddy and high as if you were weightless and on cloud nine. “Such a bubble butt” you tried to give it a nice smack but couldn’t from the awkward angle.

“Bubble butt?” He repeated and chuckled “it’s all yours baby” He said fondly. He punched in the code for your apartment heading straight for the bedroom and gently placing you on the bed.

He kissed your forehead to which you giggled some more. You plopped down on the bed staring at the ceiling which seemed to be spinning at the moment. He returned with your makeup wipes taking your make-up off your face. He always said you didn’t need it but helped you out whenever you wanted to try a new eye shadow. He did work well with colors and brushes.

“Ooh my head hurts” You scrunched your nose at the artificial lemony smell from the wipes.

He opened his mouth as if to say ‘I told you so' but then knew better and closed it running another clean wipe across your face he was done. “All done. You wanna slip into something comfortable?” He asked looking at your tight dress which pushed your breasts up together, giving you a much more prominent cleavage.

He threw the used wipes in the dustbin in your bathroom. You looked at him as he went about his nightly routine. Brushing his teeth washing his face. You reached back struggling to unzip your dress after some attempts you get a hold of the zip pulling it down. The straps fall off of your shoulders as you got rid of your strapless bra kneeling on your bed in just your panties. You started to fondle your breasts to entice Steve, give him a nice show. It had been weeks since you made love. You had to make do with your pink vibrator which wasn’t half as good as the real thing.

His jaw dropped as he looked at you squeezing your breasts together, gasping as you pinched your nipples. “Wanna fuck me daddy?” You moaned slipping your fingers in your panties to play with your clit. Before you could even reach it his hand stopped you holding onto your wrist.

“I don’t think so” He said holding your gaze “I’m not fucking you when you’re this drunk. It’s time for bed come on” he pulled your hand out of your panties and handed you his t-shirt which you often used as a sleep shirt.

“I can do it myself then” You huffed laying down on your side of the bed slipping your fingers between your thighs lightly grazing over your clit. You couldn’t concentrate not with Steve staring at you with his intense blue eyes. You whined pathetically pulling your hand out of your panties and giving up. You’ll get that dick soon enough, you were too tired anyway.

You didn’t need to look him to know he was smirking. You closed your eyes trying hard to sleep. If you aren’t hung over in the morning, which you probably will be, you can sneak in some morning loving from Steve before he goes to work. You felt the heat of his thumb on your hipbone, lingering there for a few seconds before he pulled your panties down. He knew you never liked to sleep with your underwear on.

“You wanna put on the shirt?” He asked to which you whined shaking your head. The silk sheets felt smooth and nicer against your naked skin. He covered you with the comforter switching off the lights, he pulled you into him, draping his arm across your stomach.

After a few minutes you opened your eyes and looked at him to see if he was asleep. You couldn’t really tell in the dark. You softly called out his name to which he gave no answer. “Would you hate me if I loved women like I love you?” you whispered in the dead of the night so lowly you weren’t even sure if you actually said it.

You felt tears streaming down your cheeks. Something you had hid from him since you started dating. You weren’t even sure why. You told yourself it didn’t really matter. You were never going to look at anyone else or think about anyone like that. You had committed your heart to him when you agreed to marry him. You heart now belonged to him.

“I could never hate you sweetheart” He admitted pressing a kiss to your forehead drying your tears off of your cheeks.

Of course he wouldn’t. You were so stupid to think something like this could ever change his feelings for you. Especially since he showed you everyday in so many ways just how much he loved and adored you. You hugged him nuzzling his neck.

“Do you – “ He paused clearing his throat “do you love Nat like that?” He asked speaking into your hair.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I mean I am sort of attracted to her and love her as a friend...” You trailed off.

You always had amazing chemistry with Nat. Well not always. She was kind of standoffish in the beginning. Almost mean to you when she gave you the shovel talk about not hurting Steve or else. Although you understood where she was coming from you decided it would be best to avoid her.

A simple florist like you didn’t have much in common with someone like Nat anyway. But then as you spent more time together you got to know her. A side of her she didn’t show to everyone. Now she was one of the most caring and kind person you know. A stark contrast to her first impression. You would go as far as to say she was your best friend. You did sometimes stared a bit too long at her for it to be considered proper. She was beautiful and graceful in everything she did, almost like a ballerina. But you never thought about those feelings or even let yourself think of her in anyway other than platonically. You would never do that to Steve.

“But I love you. I’ll never let anything come between us” You continued looking up at look at his face.

He was quiet for a while you thought he didn’t want to speak of it anymore ready to go back to sleep you tucked your head under his chin. “Would being with Nat make you happy?”

“I am happy” You spouted instantly. You were on the verge of panicking. This was the last thing you wanted, for Steve to doubt himself and your relationship.

“Would you be happier if you were with Nat?” He wondered.

“All I know is I would be miserable if I’m not with you” You said and left it at that untangling yourself from his arms to sleep on your back.

He hummed at that. “Have you ever been with a woman?”

You resisted the urge to groan. You really were tired. “No. If I had I would’ve told you” You and Steve were each other’s first. You didn’t have any experience with men or women so when Steve when told you he didn’t as well, you were happy, there would be no pressure, no expectations to live up to.

“Would being with a woman – or Nat be different?”

“I don’t know probably” You could think of a million ways it would be different and amazing.

“If it’s something that will make you happy then I want that for you” He explained drawing patterns on your stomach.

You snorted “You?” you had come to know over the course of your relationship that Steve was jealous if anything. He absolutely hated it if another man even looked at you. There was that time when he pulled you into him by firmly gripping your waist, flexing his muscles and trying to act all ‘alpha' to scare the poor guy who was just trying to make small talk.

You would have been mad at him if you didn’t notice the slightest hint of vulnerability in his eyes. He did apologize to you. Confessing that he didn’t feel good enough for you which was beyond ridiculous. Steve was your best guy. Sure his tall and burly physic is what first caught your eye, but even if he didn’t have all that he has now, you’d still love him just as much. He still needed to get that through his thick skull.

He often sulked or pouted for a while when you’d go out with your friends leaving him alone to his own devices. He wasn’t overbearing enough for it to be annoying, but he was possessive enough for it to be almost cute. “You don’t know how to share”

“That’s not true. My Ma always said that sharing is important and made sure to teach me that” He said defensively.

“Sure”

“look I don’t like it when random men flirt with you. They don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you – “ you opened your mouth to interrupt him but he didn’t give you the opportunity “I trust Nat. She would take as good care of you like I do”

As much as you would’ve liked to say that you don’t need or like to be taken care of, you actually did like it when Steve did it for you. You weren’t sure how you would feel if Nat were to do so.

“Are you sure?” You asked propping yourself up on your elbow. He nodded running his hand up and down the side of your waist. “What if it changes things between us?”

“then we end it” He said gravely which nearly frightened you.

You don’t remember when you dozed off. The next morning you asked Steve if he was still serious about it. Part of you was afraid it was some sort of test to see how loyal you were. Part of you was excited to get to explore a relationship with your crush. He said he'd be willing to give it a shot as long as you were honest with each other.

It was strange of Steve to act so... progressive? If that’s the right word for it. He was stubborn, often not willing to change. But it wasn’t too hard for you to believe that he’d make an exception just for you.

The moment Natasha laid her eyes on you, she knew she was a goner. She wasn’t one to believe in love at first sight, or even love at times. But she knew she felt an instant attraction towards you. Just how sweet and naive you were. So soft, innocent, untainted by the world. She knew you had some sort of feelings for her, she could tell by just how nervous you got when you were around her.

She told herself she would only admire you from far. She had a habit of falling for unavailable people. She had managed to develop some sort of friendship with Steve and she wasn’t willing to jeopardise that.

She was more than surprised when you asked her out. Telling her that Steve was okay with it. And it took a lot to surprise her. She had seen everything. She never pegged Rogers to be someone who would share. She was for the first time at a loss for words. She wished she could see your face while you did it. Just how embarrassed you would be. But you did it over text. She agreed to it. Of course she did she would never say no to such an opportunity.

There you were so shy and nervous as if you were meeting her for the first time. You gave her a single stem of rose. “It reminds me of your fiery red hair” You said looking at the ground.

She was about to make a quip to ask if Rogers told you to say that, considering just how romantic he could be. But she decided to just accept the compliment and the rose. While eating dinner there were some awkward silences but for the most part it was quite pleasant. Nat never really dated. She didn’t have the time or space for it. She never felt the need to anyway. She told herself to not get her hopes up. She was still trying to figure out Steve’s intentions. She knew for a fact he wasn’t a cuckold. He couldn’t be. Although nothings impossible. Nat dropped you off at your apartment door, which was just one floor above hers. She pecked your lips for a quick kiss thanking you for your time and the rose.

Next order of business was to talk to Steve. He had a hard time lying or hiding his emotions, even if he wanted to. Which most of the times he didn’t. He was straightforward, direct, a no nonsense guy. Which was a blatant conflict to how he acted around you. He was still honest, but a lovestruck fool. She supposed that’s what loving someone like you does to a person. She was lucky to catch him while he was on a break. Sparing with a few recruits they were borrowing from the FBI for the time being.

He nodded at her to acknowledge her presence as if urging her to speak. Her curiousity ate away at her. What were his intentions? She knew him enough to know they couldn’t possibly be malicious.

She told him about what a good time she had with you. “how are you okay with this?” She asked.

“I think her hearts big enough for two people” He admitted. There was something about the way he said it, a wistful look in his eyes, how he seemed to try so hard to hide his sadness.

She didn’t really believe him. But she knew he would come around if he had any doubts.

For the next month you and Nat went on date quite often.

You were nervous if anything. Steve was your first partner. You had some experience before him but nothing too significant. You didn’t know much. He didn’t ask for much in bed either, other than making you keep up with his super solider stamina, which was a hard task in itself.

You knew Nat had plenty of experience. Word travels fast around here. You had also heard gossip about her sleeping with people on missions, which was very plausible now that you thought about it. You didn’t want her to find you lacking in any way. You thought the wine would calm your nerves but you only felt yourself becoming more and more nervous.

As things got heated after a movie night you had both moved to your bedroom, making out with teeth and tongue like horny teenagers.

Nat must have felt you tense under her as she broke the kiss to cup your face. “What’s wrong chernub?” she gave you a smile that made your heart melt. Her eyes so sincere, with such pure love in them, all for you.

“I just... well have you ever been with a girl?” You still weren’t sure what the status of Nat’s sexuality was. You didn’t ever ask her because it didn’t matter. All that matter to you was that she liked you.

“I have. But never with anyone I was in love with” She said giving your lips a quick peck, smirking at your dumbfounded expression.

“I – I love you too” You gulp down taking a few deep breaths, that was unexpected “You caught me off guard” You smiled back at her, leaning into her touch “I’ve never been with anyone but Stevie”

“Then I’m happy to be your first” she purred palming your breasts through your dress. She pulled it up by the hem leaving you in your bra and panties. You almost felt self conscious as she eyed your cleavage hungrily, unhooking and tossing your bra away. She quickly took off her blouse and jeans. Even in her haste she was so elegant, her movements so smooth as her maroon lacy bra slipped off of her arms.

You couldn’t keep your eyes off of her breasts. They looked so smooth, her dark pink hard nubs perfectly complimented by her pale porcelain skin. You awkwardly held each in your palm, lifting them up as if to weigh them. They were just the right size and filled your hands perfectly. She let you explore her breasts, trace your fingers over her body, dipping them in her belly button, before she harshly pushed you onto your back, your head hitting the pillow.

“There’s no way I can be patientl with you” She said training quick butterfly kissing down your body.

“Wait! I want to go down on you” You requested. You had spent hours researching on how to please a woman. Even if you were nervous, you were excited to explore her body.

“That’s alright baby. I’m a giver” She winked at you. She stared at your pussy in awe, her lips so close to it that you felt her hot breaths against your warm folds. You propped yourself up on your elbows to look at her. You gasped loudly as you felt her lick a strip against it, wrapping her lips around your clit, harshly sucking on it. She wasn’t kidding when she said she wouldn’t be patient with you. You held onto the headboard trying your best to muffle your moans and screams.

You could feel yourself on the edge of it heaven. It was all too good. But then she stopped. You whined at the loss of what could’ve been an amazing orgasm. You looked down at her about to complain to do something to make her continue. You followed her gaze to your door and stared in horror at Steve standing there staring at Nat’s head buried in your pussy. What was more shocking was the very evident dent in Steve’s crotch, which almost looked painful.

You weren’t sure what you could say. Do you apologize? He gave you permission to date her. He never said anything about being intimate. You were about to explain, that it was spontaneous, that you weren’t thinking, you’d stop then and there if he asked you to.

But then “Would you like to join us?” Nat asked tracing your folds with her fingers. You shivered under her, being too sensitive and overwhelmed.

“Yeah I think I will” He said unbuckling his dark leather belt, his dress pants falling to his ankles. He stripped down to his underwear staring you down. “I’m going to have to punish you, after all” he took off his boxers his cock slapping against his abdomen.

“Wh – punish me?” You stammered panicking. Any other day you would act out purposely just so you could get punished. You loved this dark, unhinged side of him he only showed to you behind closed doors. How he bent you over his knee and make you count the smacks he delivered to your bum.

But right now, you were still mourning your ruined orgasm. You absolutely could not take any kind of edging, you have to come.

“He’s right” She smirked looking back at you.

“How do you wanna do this?” He asked Nat stroking his cock. Which did mildly infuriated you. They were ignoring you.

“I might have an idea” She pulled you up as Steve laid down on the bed. She guided him inside you as you straddled his hips and she crouched down with his thighs between her legs, drawing slow intricate circles on your clit.

You weren’t use to this position. Steve only ever liked making love while looking at you, he clearly wasn’t pleased with only being about to see your back. He grabbed at your hips angrily thrusting up into you. Where did your sweet innocent lover go? Seems like Natasha was a bad influence on you both.

You gasped into Nat’s mouth as you felt him filling you up. You vaguely heard her mockingly asking Steve to take it easy on you. You couldn’t think about that right now. All you could focus on was her fingers on your clit and Steve’s cock brushing up against your g-spot. It was all too good and too much.

“It’s all... It’s too much” You whimpered leaning away from Nat, pressing your palm on Steve’s stomach.

Steve abruptly stopped his thrusts “Are you alright princess” He petted he back of your head and smoothened your hair. You felt his back against yours as he got up wiping the sweat off of your forehead, pushing the hair that was sticking to it back. “You’re such a good girl. My sweet girl. ” He murmured as he kept whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

You calmed down as you tried to focus on your breathing. You didn’t know if you should be frustrated or relieved that they both just stopped. His hot and hard length was still buried deep inside you. You couldn’t take it anymore. You rolled your hips as his breath hitched.

Nat snorted “You have no idea how this game works, do you?” She pushed Steve back onto the bed instructing him to keep rutting up into you. You could do nothing but whimper.

Steve was a bit apprehensive. There was this one time he accidentally elbowed you in your ribs. He’s guilty about that to this day. He once told you his worst nightmare would be hurting you. That he wanted nothing else in this world but to make you happy and treat you like the princess you are. You smiled at the memory, he sure did have a way with words.

You cried as Nat rolled your clit between her fingers. She kissed the side of your mouth urging you to come. “Come on my fingers” She ordered.

Steve didn’t like that. He plunged up into you. You don’t think you have ever felt him this deep inside you. “Go ahead baby girl. Let go” He rasped. You could feel his muscles tightening beneath your palm. He wasn’t too far behind you.

You screamed in pure bliss as the coil building in your belly snapped, putting an end to your agony. You felt Steve’s grip on your hips stiffen as the pace of his thrusts escalated. “Fuck – shit” he cursed and groaned as you felt him come inside you.

You hugged Nat as you stayed like that for a while. His cock softening inside you. You clenched around him just for fun, which earned you a slap to your bum.

“Let’s get you cleaned up” Nat helped you up, Steve’s cock slipping out of you, you hissed at the empty feeling. His come oozed out of you. Steve hummed at the sight, playing with your folds before pushing his come back into you. You whimpered as you felt his fingers enter your overworked pussy.

“I’m sorry doll” He drawled out.

Nat carefully cleaned your thighs and your heat with a warm washcloth then tossed it to Steve. He cleaned himself up and asked if you wanted a bath.

“No I’m too tired” You murmured as you fell asleep sandwiched between them. It felt nice to be surrounded by soft comfortable warmth.

It was quite easy for you to fall into a routine with your two lovers. You had been dating Nat for months now; if you could call it that. No one from the team suspected a thing. Both Steve and Nat, unlike you, were private people. They didn’t broadcast their private lives for everyone to see.

You also found that they were similar yet different in so many ways. Nat was more of a friend to you then Steve was, he was the man out of time after all. Nat liked the same movies and songs as you did. You could go shopping with her and go to concerts with her, share so many things together.

You also found that Steve was a lot more jealous and possessive than Nat. While Nat was grateful to be in your life and that she got to spend time with you. Steve often wanted monopoly over you. Nat would tease him about how your unorthodox relationship is a nice exercise for him to humble himself.

Which is why you were surprised when you found out just how dominant and controlling Nat could be in bed. She had to have things go her way. There wasn’t room to argue with her even Steve followed her orders, the few times he did join you both. He would say he likes to concentrate on pleasing you and doesn’t care too much about Nat interrupting his process. Nat was happy with just you or you and Steve.

It was strange to be with them both together. Mostly in a good way. They gave you such intense earth-shattering orgasms. You were afraid you were truly ruined for anyone else. When laying down boundaries you asked them to not kiss, but you were okay with them doing everything else. Steve did find it strange. How would you be okay with them being intimate and object to them kissing? Nat however understood why kisses somehow felt more intimate to you.

They both didn’t really want to do anything together. Steve was adamantly against it. Which was unsurprising to you. Sex was a big deal to him. He probably didn’t plan on doing it with anyone but you for the rest of his life.

They were both amazing kissers. But Steve did it much more often than Nat. He had no qualms about showing you just how much he loved you everyday. Nat sadly did. She was generally more distant. You tried your best to not take it personally, to let her move at her own pace. But you couldn’t help but want her to be closed to you, to tell you things she wouldn’t to anyone else, to trust you, she did claim you were the love of her life.

“Baby” you breathed out as you looked up at her. You were laying on her lap while scrolling through your Instagram. Steve had been gone for over a week on a mission. This could be the perfect moment. You did hear that communication is important in any relationship.

“What’s up?” She asked. You were always amazed at how smooth and sultry her voice was even when she was trying to be casual.

“Tell me a secret” You put your chin on top of your hands on her stomach. Batting your lashes at her, though that trick only works with Steve.

“What kind of secret?” She asked squinting at you, ltickling your armpit as your squirmed.

“Something you’ve never told anyone else” She hummed. You felt an ache in your heart at that. A part of her will always be beyond reach for you. You could never comprehend what she had been through, still you would like to at least try. “Well why don’t you just tell me what you want more than anything?”

“Some ice cream with whiskey sounds really good right now” she deadpanned.

You rolled your eyes at that. Sitting up straight to let her know you meant business. “No. I meant, if you could have anything what would it be?”

You waited several long minutes. She looked like she was contemplating what she wanted to say. “More than anything? I guess I’d want a family. I have one right now. But kids and a white picket fence sounds like a dream” She looked at your confused face, her eyes had never looked so empty and sad “I can’t, you know? They do a procedure which makes you sterile forever. But I’m happy right now. I don’t need that. I guess you only want what you can’t have” she shrugged. Moving into the kitchen to look for some ice cream.

You weren’t sure how you should react. There wasn’t anything you could do to better the situation. The fact that the procedure would most likely have been done with out her consent made your heart ache. “You know there are more than one way to become a parent”

She came back with two bowls of ice cream, handing one to you. “This job doesn’t really leave room for that kind of luxury. What about you? Do you and cap have plan on having kids? I’m sure he’d love to have the American Dream”

“Not really” You said looking at your melting ice cream. You had an inkling of a doubt till now but you could confirm it. She didn’t really consider herself part of your throuple. She didn’t see a future with you and Steve. She had always had one foot out the door. “I’ve never wanted kids. And Steve well... you know his job...” you mumbled playing the harsh edges of the sparking diamond on your engagement ring.

”There’s no point in thinking so ahead. Things are always changing” she said wistfully.

“Do you see a future with me? With me and Steve?” You hopefully looked up at her.

“What kind of future do you expect?” she asked in a tone that scared you, she hasn’t spoken to you like that since your first meeting.

“I don’t know. What we have now is perfect” You confessed.

“What we have now, is that you’re going to have your fairytale wedding to Steve” She rolled her eyes. You had never seen her be jealous of him. “And then who knows what happens to us. Let’s not do this. Things are good as they are” She declared in a tone that didn’t leave room for negotiation.

“No” you said firmly “I don’t want a casual relationship. There’s nothing casual about how I feel. You can’t just be like that. Like you’ll leave whenever you want!” you threw your hands up exasperated with her.

She furrowed her brows staring you down, as if that would intimidate you. “You have treated me like a sidepiece from the beginning. How many times have you brushed me off to spend time with Steve? How many people know about us?” She asked gesturing her hand between both of you. “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”

“I’ll tell everyone then. Whatever it takes to be with you” you pleaded. You weren’t ashamed to beg. It was clear to you now that you had always treated Nat as if she was less important than Steve. It wasn’t because you loved her less than him, it was because Steve had a tendency to be jealous and insecure. Apparently she was really good at hiding her feelings, better than Steve anyway.

“You can’t do that” She said flatly. “He’s captain America. We’re the Avengers. We have a reputation to maintain. We’re controversial enough. We don’t need any more scandals” She said shaking her head.

“Then we’ll figure something out” You hugged her side, seeking her comfort, you didn’t like the direction this conversation was heading in.

“No” She shook you off getting up from your sofa, placing her bowl on the coffee table. “this whole thing was a mistake from the start. I should’ve known better than do this with someone like you” She said as you looked at her with watery eyes and quivering lips “I’m sorry dove. We just want different things” She swiped your tears before averting her gaze and leaving.

You hugged your knees sobbing like you never had before. Your dream, your fantasy was ripped from you. One minute you felt as if you were on cloud nine, you had two wonderful people who cared so much for you, who loved you for you.

And now you were drowning, in your sorrow, in guilt and in pain. Knowing that you only caused them both pain. You failed to make them as happy as they made you. You didn’t deserve either of them.

Steve was more than excited to see his girl after over two weeks. Before Nat he was always worried to leave you alone. He knew how much you liked having company around, how you would get lonely and lost in your intrusive thoughts and worry about him.

Initially it was hard to share you. Not being the love of your life, like you are to him, was disappointing to say the least. Then he saw just how happy Nat made you. He understood that just because you loved Nat, didn’t mean you loved him any less. He still had his moments of jealously here and there, but at times like these, he’s thankful for you both.

He punched in the code to your apartment, opening the door, expecting to run to you, hug you and cradle your soft form in his arms. But as soon as he step his foot in, he knew something was wrong.

He called out your name looking for you. He saw you laying on the sofa in a fetal position making yourself small, a blanket covering you, you were surrounded by chocolate wrappers and what looked like cheeto dust. He walked owards you, stepping on the wine spilt from your glass. He straightened the glass putting it away from the edge of the coffee table, crouching down to look at your face.

Tears left your eyes as soon as you saw him blocking the tv. You sat up hugging him, pushing your face into his chest. He could hear you little sniffles as he ran his fingers through your hair to sooth you. Your hair, which is usually silky and smells like vanilla, was greasy and smelt of chinese take out and wine. He could tell you hadn’t showered in a while.

After a while of holding you to him he cradled your face in his hands. “Hey” he said softly taking you in. You looked miserable. Your eyes and nose red, your face completely defeated. “What happened?”

“Nat broke up with me” you whimpered as if you couldn’t believe your own words. “Said she wanted kids and we’re not compatible. I don’t know” You whimpered again, so overwhelmed and exhausted.

“It's okay calm down” He never would’ve expected this. Though in hindsight he should've seen this coming. He deemed Nat worthy of you because she was passionate and loving. But she didn’t have the best romantic track record. That paired with your unusual situation, this was bound to happen. “It’s okay” He said again cuddling with you on the sofa. He whispered sweet nothings in your hair. He would’ve almost been glad if this had happened a few months ago. But now when he had come to slightly like the dynamic the three of you shared and seeing just how heartbroken you were. He wasn’t sure he could ever forgive Nat.

“You have me. You’ll always have me” He whispered in your hair and meant it. When he said he loved you for the first time, over a year ago, he had decided that you would be together forever, that he’ll be there for you, protect you no matter what. His love for you was unconditional and knew no bounds. It could survive anything.

“You promise?” You asked him shyly. Your voice so weak and trembling. He wished he could wrap you up and hide you from the whole world.

“Yes I promise” he kissed your forehead.

“You still love me?” You looked up at him with your sweet innocent eyes.

“I’ll always love you. Nothing will ever come between us” He swore holding onto you as you cried yourself to sleep. You’ll be okay, eventually. He knew that but it was hard to see you this broken.

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Guidance - Zuko x Reader Chapter 2

Fandom: Avatar: the Last Airbender  Word Count: 5,5 My Masterlist Warnings/disclaim: general Characters are aged up Refer to first chapter for information on timeline ___ is a blank for your name/oc/whatever you prefer Written in 3rd person Line/header is to separate paragraphs to indicate time skips, as Tumblr hates my formatting. Story under cut, 2 of 8: Guidance Masterlist

         Rustling sounds again woke Zuko, as he cracked his eyes open, he could see ___ up and ready for the day, carrying in the large pots of salt inside the tent. He sat up and eyed her a bit, she looked fine, but he was still concerned about her from last night.            “Morning, I just have one more basin then we can try to camouflage the tent and head out. I’ve already got the ostrich-horse packed up too.”            “Okay,” he stood up and stared at her for a bit.            “What’s wrong?”            “What happened last night?”            “Walking in town takes a couple of hours, which should be shortened with riding. But I’ll tell you everything on the way there, okay?”   Zuko mumbled an okay out before helping with everything to get them on to the road.  

         Riding silently, ___ sat in front of Zuko as they rode towards town. The ostrich-horse was going slower due to all the weight and packing he had on him.            “So?” Zuko asked as the silence went on too long for his liking when he wanted answers.            “Well, um, I’m not sure where to begin,” she hummed while thinking. “Oh, I guess how I learned everything would be a good start.”            “So, the beginning, which is usually a good place to start any story,” Zuko grumbled.            “Oh shush,” she pushed him a bit jokingly away with a laugh before clearing her throat a bit. “After leaving home, as the angry young teenager I was, I was struggling badly just within a few days. On land seemed even harder. But I was in the Earth Kingdom when an older couple saw I was near starvation and took me in. The old lady taught me cooking, some edible plants, and how to mend things. The man taught me some tracking and repair. I was with them for a month or so. They helped a lot of people who passed through, they’re great people, when I’m near them I usually go see them, check on them.            “While we were eating dinner one night, they had another traveler there. Who was looking for a lost library, in the desert. I was very interested so when the traveler left, I went with him. I don’t remember him much; we didn’t talk about anything other than the library. We stopped at an oasis, which wasn’t really an oasis anymore, and when he went inside to get a drink. I saw a fox, known for gathering things for the library. I followed it immediately.            “Somehow I kept up even in the sand. The fox went into a tower that stuck out of the sand. I climbed up and in, and when I landed. I was confronted by Wan Shi Tong, the spirit who runs the library. He told me I wasn’t welcome and that I needed to leave. Being the emotional child, I was after everything that happened. I broke down crying. Wan Shi Tong asked me what was wrong, I told him everything. I told him all that I wanted was to learn, I wanted to be like the old people who helped me. I wanted to know how to protect myself and live on my own.            “Wan Shi Tong explained to me that humans, in general, were not welcome, because they abused the knowledge in his library, but since he felt I was sincere, he let me stay. I think he either took pity or a liking to me, as he gave me food and water. I stayed there for almost a year. I ate, read, practiced some waterbending and chi blocking, and slept, that’s all I did for that year. Before I left, I started to learn more about the spirit world from texts and Wan Shi Tong, I had become very spiritual. Meditating became a part of my life at that point. Which I’m sure you’ve seen me do from time to time.”            ___ stopped talking and took a drink of water.            “So that’s why you know so much, you’ve very cultivated. But that doesn’t explain last night.”            “Okay, okay,” she grumbled. “I made my way out of the desert and into Earth Nation forest. Putting all my reading and knowledge into practice, living on my own. Some Fire Nation soldiers had found me, I used the opportunity to do chi blocking, thankfully I was good at it. I ran away after they were all down. While getting as much distance as I could between me and the soldiers. I slugged through a wide river which the full moon shined down on, I slipped in the water, cutting my hand as I caught myself. I went to heal the cut, but the water around me glowed.            “I was pulled under the water, but I could breathe, so I tried to not panic and closed my eyes. When I could no longer feel the water around me, I opened my eyes. It took me a while to figure it out, but I was in the spirit world. After reading and learning about the spirit world I was weary and quiet, scared to anger any spirit or run into malicious ones.            “Eventually, Avatar Roku found me. We talked for a long time. About the war, my future, and why I was there. With me finding passion in spirits and with the path my life was to follow, the spirit world accepted me. In short, I will be helping Avatar Aang, spiritually. Aang will face a deafening defeat, I am supposed to help him reconnect his chakras.”            “He also mentioned, I would be faced with a challenging choice, to forgive someone or not. But knowing myself and how I am. I will offer the second chance."          "But why?"            "Do you have things you regret? Do you wonder how different your life would be if someone gave you another try, to right your wrongs? I do, I regret leaving my home in anger. I wonder how I would be if they let me come home when I cried for forgiveness and apologized for my ways. That I was no longer angry and I missed my home, my people. But they didn't care, I was unwanted there. So, I don't belong anywhere, but if I follow my path. One day, maybe I will be able to be myself and still be loved. What more could you ask for but freedom to be who you are?"            "But you're not a bad person, you should be able to be yourself."          She scoffed, "the moment I show that I'm a strong fighter and independent. I show I can't be an obedient timid wife that most people think I should be."          "I think it's better that you can protect yourself. I think it's a good thing."            "Well, you'd be the first. Thank you." She turned a bit to give him a heartfelt smile, making him look away as he blushed. She giggled at it.            "What?" He spat.            "You're cute, Zuko."            "So are you, ___," now it was her turn to turn away with blush, making him chuckle.            After some thinking and silence, Zuko spoke up. "I don't know if I regret speaking out against my father's plan. It felt wrong to sacrifice so many men. I do wish my father would have given me another chance though, I guess him sending me after the Avatar was his way to do that. So I can regain my honor."          "I've said it once and I'll say it forever. You were a child, what your father did was wrong. You aren't a failure, you're better than him and nothing like him. He can’t strip you of your honor, it is what you hold and how you follow your life, your destiny."            Zuko grunted he didn't like it when she said that, it hurt, like his heart was being split in half. As if it was starting a war within him.            “Zuko,” she started in a soft tone, ”if your father loved you. Avatar or not, you would be home. You wouldn’t be wanted, dead or alive, you’d be wanted at least alive. Be your own person, I believe your destiny will be putting balance to the world your forefathers have destroyed.”            “I don’t want to talk about this, you don’t know me, my family! You can’t just say shit and think I’ll follow the words like a lost goatdog! I am my own person!”          “Then why are you here?” She turned to look at him, serious and hard. Zuko gulped a bit for her cold glare. “If you're your own person then why do you care so much about pleasing an abusive father? What false love and honor could restore you when you can't even be truthful to yourself? You don’t want my advice, don’t take it. But don’t snap at me either, boy.” She spat the word boy at him before jumping off the animal.            She stood tall and proud, even though small in stature, she reigned power around her. “I want an apology or you can give me stuff and git!”            Zuko looked down at the reins in his hands, even though he hadn’t stopped the ostrich-horse, it stopped from her words. He was shaking, he couldn’t tell if it was from anger or sadness. But he knew she was only trying to help, that’s all she’s done for him. Never asking for anything in return other than assistance with chores.            “Zuko!” He snapped his head towards the sound of his name, seeing her face go from stern to soft. ___ climbed up onto the animal and gently wiped away tears he didn’t even know were falling. “I know you’re lost; I know you’re confused. But do not talk down to me, okay?” Her voice was so gentle and warm, he didn’t know what to do.            Embracing her urgently and lying his head on her shoulder, she stiffened for a moment before pulling him closer and rubbing his back softly. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed into her shoulder.            “Oh, sweetie.” ___ pulled him back from her shoulder and wiped his tears away carefully. “I’m sorry I snapped. I guess I still need to work on my anger a bit. We both do. Let’s do it together, okay?” He nodded before pulling her back to him, he could barely make sense of how good it felt to hold her. He felt whole, safe, and tranquil.            “Can you stay here, in my arms for a bit?” His request was barely above a whisper.          She exhaled sharply, a small laugh, “only if we keep moving.” She adjusted herself to sit sideways then rested her head and body into his chest. He wrapped an arm around her before flicking the reins to send them back into motion.            “___?”            “Yes?”            “I want to help you in town.”            “That’s the plan, for you to help and learn.”            “Not just that, but with that guy, so he doesn’t bother you.”            “Oh, no, I don’t want any fighting okay?”            “What if I pretended to be your boyfriend? Would he leave you alone?”            “Um,” she flushed a bit before clearing her throat. “I guess. But it wouldn’t be just him, it’d have to be the whole town. It’s a small town, people talk, they’d be able to tell if we lied. It's exhausting to pretend and put on a façade all the time.”            “But don’t you do that already? Pretend to be timid and gentle.”            “Yes, that’s why I know it’s exhausting. I can show I'm a hard worker but I can’t show I’ve got my own mind and how hard-headed I am.”            “But you never pretend to be caring and nice.”            “I just try to do what feels natural while I bite my tongue.”            “I pretend to be a traveler with bad manners.”            “I don’t think you pretend too much on the bad manners.” She giggled, Zuko grumbled. “Thank you for the offer, but I couldn’t put you in that position. Also, I would be questioned all the time once you leave.”            Zuko was wordless and lost, his heart was pounding at the thought of leaving her. “Are you okay?” ___ asked with her head still on his chest. “Your heart is beating so fast.”            He rubbed the back of his neck, dropping the rein and clearing his throat into his fist a bit. “I’m fine. ___?”            “Hhm?” she hummed.            “I like you.”            “I like you too.”            “No, I mean, I really like you. I wanted to show I could be a good boyfriend, that’s why I offered to be a pretend boyfriend. To prove it to you.”            “Zuko,” she lifted her head and smiled at him gently. “You don’t need to prove it to me right away. Just show me over time.” ___ gently touched his cheek. “Will you be my boyfriend?” Zuko blushed light at her words, but nodded.           “Have you been with anyone else?” he wanted to know if she had past relations but didn't know how to phrase it otherwise.            “Yes, I've had one boyfriend before. It was 2 years ago. We hit a path in our relationship where we weren't communicating honesty and the base of our relationship that was on common ground dissipated. We were decent friends before and the relationship was mainly physical. It had nothing to do with destiny but who we were.”            “What’s our common ground?”            “We’ll find it, for now, we can be caring for each other.”            “Okay,” Zuko mumbled, ___ sat up a bit more to look at him more clearly. Golden eyes quickly caught hers. Moments ticked by as talons trudged the dirt path, their bodies moved closer together. ___ closed her eyes leaning closer to Zuko, he felt panic, fear, and jealousy. What was her ex like? Zuko was inexperienced, could he please her at all?            “Zuko?” She looked at him concerned. “Sweetie, what's wrong?” He looked away but didn't answer. “I'm not sure what's wrong, but if it was me, I'm sorry. We just became partners and I go and assume and rush things.” She settled against him and put her head on his shoulder. “I'll wait for you, do what feels natural to you, don't force anything.”            Zuko wanted to kick and burn himself. His insecurities made her feel like she did something wrong. He wanted to kiss her, but his fears held him back.  

         Silence was awkward for a bit but as they cuddled and rested against one another, it became comfortable.            “We’re here,” ___ sat up a bit pulling away from Zuko and stretching her arms. Zuko wrapped an arm around her waist when she was done and pulled her back to him. She smiled at him.            They reached a store where they could hitch the animal. Zuko jumped down and immediately offered to help ___ down into his arms. She glanced down at him, before looking over to another guy and smiled at Zuko. “Catch me, Lee!” she giggled and jumped into his arms. He chuckled and hugged her close before resting his forehead against hers.            “Hey ___, where have you been?” She pulled away from Zuko a bit.            “Oh, hey Kyo. I was just living off the land. But I’m here now to help and sell.”          “That’s good, I think my dad needs me to do a delivery but since my mom’s sick, he needs help with the store.” Kyo was talking level but kept glancing at Zuko.          “Oh no, I’ll look at her, see if I can heal her at all. If not, if your delivery doesn’t take too long, I or Lee can help your dad.”            “I’m guessing your Lee,” Kyo looked fully at Zuko now. “I’m Kyo.” He offered a hand to shake hands, when Zuko went to shake hands, Kyo tried to crush his hand, thankfully Zuko was strong enough for it to not work.            “Yup, Lee here.” ___ snorted slightly at his awkwardness.            “How’d you meet ___?”            “Wandering through the forest, smelt food. She fed me and I’ve been with her since.”          “Oh, so your good friends?”            “No, I’m her boyfriend,” Zuko deadpanned and wrapped an arm around her tightly.            “Oh, she didn’t turn you down?”            “No, because I’m here to support her, as needed because she’s strong without me.”          Kyo just stared at Zuko for a moment, “how are prices on baskets today?” ___ chirped.          "___, for your baskets, always good,” a hearty laugh came from the store, Kyo’s father, Rin came out. “I need more watertight ones. You’re my best supplier for those!”            “Well you’re in luck, I have a surplus, I was teaching Lee so I ended up with tons. They’re all flatten, so check them and if there are any breaks, I’ll fix it!” She gestured to a pile on the back of the ostrich-horse.            “Perfect, welcome back!” Rin laughed and picked up the pile and went into the store, she followed after him so they could settle on prices.            “Lee, can you unpack Gray?”            “Gray?”            “The ostrich-horse,” she piped.            “You named him without my say?”            “You just called him animal, that’s not nice,” she giggled as she went into the store.            Zuko groaned before going to Gray and starting to unpack him so he could rest.          “You’re just going to let her boss you around? That’s not how a woman should be.” Kyo stated.            “She asked me, we’re partners, we help each other, that’s what lovers should do. I’d rather she could protect herself and maybe even help me in a fight, then be someone I’d have to worry about even more than normal. I worry about her, but, because I know she can protect herself, I don’t have to protect her and myself unless necessary.” Zuko ranted this out a bit, while unpacking, he could see what ___ meant by Kyo being a bother. He seemed to have a knack for being under one's skin.            “She’s a woman, she needs a man’s protection.”            “She needs someone who understands her and supports her. Woman or not, she’s her own person. She should be free to be herself!” Zuko shouted at him. “___ is my girlfriend; I ask you to leave your sexist ideas and respect her or leave her alone!”            “Lee!” ___ called out to him. “I told you no fighting,” she ran up and held his hands. “Zuko, calm down, your hands are so hot, don’t firebend here.” She whispered to him.            Kyo laughed, “she really does boss you around don’t she?”   ___ gave him an annoyed grunt, before turning on her heel and quickly jabbing Kyo, making him fall to the ground. “That’s enough out of you!”            “Kyo, I thought I taught you to pick your battles, not to pick on others, you’re in big trouble young man!” Rin yelled at Kyo while trying to pick him up. “Get your butt inside!”            “He can’t move.” She stated simply. “But if he apologizes to me and Lee, I’ll heal him.”            “Never, you got a cheap shot.”            “Fine, lie there and if you want, later I’ll do it again and again. Until you get it through your thick head, I don’t like you any more than a friend. That I’m not some weak woman, and I will not be pushed around and bite my tongue around you anymore.” She turned to pick up a basin and handed it to Rin. “Here are some cured meats.”            “Thank you for putting up with my son and still being nice to us.”            “I let it happen, I pretended to be someone I’m not. Lee and I had a talk about it on the way here, and it stuck to me. If I’m not accepted then I’ll just move on. But I want to be myself more often.”            “That's a good thing to follow.” Rin smiled at her, Zuko put his arm around her shoulders. “Well this will be his punishment; he can stay there until the chi flows again.”            “What?!” Kyo yelled.            “You lie there and think about your actions. If you shape up, I won’t tell your mom, otherwise, I will. If she gets wind of this, you’ll regret it,” Kyo groaned at his father’s words.            “How is Fay, Kyo did mention she’s sick?” ___ asked.            “She could be better; she has a fever that won’t break. Medicine isn’t working and I can’t take her into the city, it’s too far.”            “Let me finish my trading and sell, let the Long's know I’m here and will need their extra room and I’ll be back to check on her.”            “Thank you,” Rin gave her a relieved smile.            “We’ll be back soon,” ___ picked up her backpack and the goods she needed. “Can we leave Gray here? When we come back to check on Fay, we’ll ride him to the Long's.”            “Yes, of course.”            ___ thanked Rin and headed into town selling and trading for supplies. Zuko stayed close by, listening, and learning. Even though he planned to stay with her, it wouldn’t hurt to learn so he could help in the future.            Entering the last shop of the row of stores an elderly woman lit up at the sight of the young women.            “___, my dear!”            “Himari, you ready to trade and buy?” The old woman embraced ___ tightly before smiling and nodding in response.            “Oh, who is this?”            “This is my boyfriend, Lee,” ___ grabbed his hand gently and he intertwined their fingers.            “How wonderful,” she beamed at the young couple. “Okay, enough pleasantries, show me what you got!”            The women talked and bartered for about an hour or so over multiple beautiful items. “Alright, you win, but I want two pearls!” ___ huffed in defeat over their bargaining.            “I have oysters outback, unopened. You can have 5, if you get them yourself.”          ___ thanked Himari before heading outside to get her oysters.            “Lee was it?” Himari asked Zuko once ___ was gone. He nodded gently. “Good, now come here,” she gestured to the stool ___ had been in. Zuko raised his eyebrow in question before doing so.            “___ loves flowers, but her favorite,” she paused while pulling out a box. “Are sunflowers.” Opening the box allowed Zuko to see a beautiful pendant, shaped and colored as a sunflower, but a crescent moon covered some petals. “This was very expensive, I've tried selling it to ___, she loves it but can't justify spending the money on it. She's water tribe and a pendant like this would make a beautiful betrothal necklace.” Zuko eyed it. He'd seen one before, the one he used to track the Avatar through Katara’s necklace.            “I don't have any money, ___ found me at my worst,” he looked away.            “Answer me this. If you did have the means to get this necklace to one day propose to ___, would you?”            “I’m not sure,” he furrowed his brow. “We haven't been together long, but I don't plan on leaving her at all. If she were to keep me, I might ask her to marry me one day…” he trailed off.          “I have a lot of work I need to be done around here, hard labor, easy for a young and strong firebender.”            “I’m not-"            “You can’t lie and trick me boy, I’m too old for my own good. If you want this pendant, show up tomorrow to help me and the rest of the days you’re here with ___.”          He gave her a nod as ___ walked in. “Himari, what are you plotting?” ___ asked, seeing the two sitting closer together than she left them.            “I’m a frail old woman, I was recruiting your boyfriend for some help,” she smiled softly at the young couple.            “Okay, but don't work him too hard, he has to help me with somethings around town.”          “You can have him back by noon each day. So you two can eat together then work together.”            ___ agreed and bid Himari a farewell. Zuko followed suit with a bow and followed his girlfriend outside. They walked hand in hand, Zuko wore her backpack, since she had it all afternoon. Their walk wasn’t too long until the sounds of animals could be heard.            “The Long’s, Yuto and Akari, own a farm, tons of animals, super fresh produce. But the oldest son moved out, so they need help from time to time. We’ll get to stay here for free, as long as we help with chores before dinner. The youngest son plans to stay and take over the farm, but he’s only 14, not strong enough for everything to be done in one day.”            “So, the three of them run the farm by themselves?”            “Yeah, it’s getting harder on Yuto though as he gets older. When I’m here, it gives him a bit of a break, or a chance to do repairs he didn’t have time for before.”            “That’s why it’s free because you give them room to breathe after the son left.”          “A farm can be run by two people as long as they are in good health and know what they’re doing. But as I said, Yuto is older and his health has been in decline for about 6 months.”            “What will happen if he can’t keep up?”            “Either Reo gets better or they’ll have to sell off some animals so it’s not too overbearing. They have the biggest farm I’ve seen.”            Zuko hummed in response as they saw a well-built teenager run up with a big smile on his face. “___! We’ve missed you!” Reo hugged her and Zuko tightly.            “You finally hit puberty!” ___ laughed.            “Yeah! Now I can do most of the work on my own, I just need to get faster.”          “That’s great to hear!”            “Come on, my folks will be super happy to see you and your boyfriend!”            ___ laughed softly and followed the happy Reo into the home. Once inside she and Zuko were warmly welcomed and somehow talked for hours with the older couple. Mainly about chores on the farm and how happy they were to meet Zuko, or Lee.          “It’s so nice to be back, but I need to go check on Fay and to bring back our ostrich-horse.”            “Oh, take some soup with you for Fay, drop off your bag in the room before you go too!” Akari said before heading to the kitchen.

         Up in the room Zuko set down her backpack and looked around the room. It was small, a dresser, and a decent size bed. He turned around to see ___ taking out a sleeping bag.            “Does it get cold in here?”            “No, the blankets on the bed are pretty warm.”            “Then why the sleeping bag?”            “For me, it's probably been a while since you've had the opportunity to sleep in a bed. I thought you’d like some comfort.” She stated calmly.            “So, you plan to sleep on the ground?”            “The sleeping bag is pretty comfortable.”            Zuko stared at her confused for a moment until he remembered when they were about to kiss. She was letting him make the shots and decisions on the pace of their relationship. She didn't want to pressure or rush him. To do what feels natural.            It felt natural to hold her close, hug her. But he didn't know how his own body would react, lying down with her in the dark.            ___ was in front of him giving him the most understanding look he'd ever seen. “Zuko, we just started dating, there is no reason to do anything other than enjoy each other's company. Don't overthink, just do, okay? I'm going to Fay; would you like to come with or relax?”            The moment the word relax came out of her mouth, he could feel how tired he was.            “I think I'd like to lie down.”            “I won't be long.” She gently squeezed his hand before leaving the room. He could hear her thanking Akari for the soup then her departure.  

       He turned to the bed about to lie down, before stopping and looking over his shoulder at the sleeping bag on the other side of the room. He at least wanted her closer if not in his arms. He moved the bag closer to the bed and put one of the pillows from the bed at the top of the sleeping bag. He eyed it a bit longer before lying down in the bed, soon he could feel himself drift into the comfort of sleep.  

         Zuko jolted out of bed in a cold sweat, gasping, he couldn’t remember the nightmare but it still made him tremble.            “Zuko?” ___ whispered while sitting up from her bag next to the bed. “Are you okay, sweetie?” She rubbed her eye gently before sitting on the edge of the bed. “You’re sweating so much. Was it a nightmare?”  

“I don’t know, I don’t remember,” he whispered before pulling her into a hug, pushing her head into his chest.            “Your heart is so fast, whatever it was, it scared you bad,” she murmured before yawning.            “I’m sorry I woke you.”            “It’s not your fault. Let’s just go back to sleep, if you can.” She tried to pull away from him, but he secured her to him.            “Don’t leave me,” he begged tenderly.            “I won’t,” she pulled away slowly before adjusting herself fully on the bed and resting her head just under his clavicle, Zuko wrapped an arm around her. He lied back softly, keeping her with him.            “When I hold you, it’s like nothing can go wrong. But I’m worried, I’ll disappoint you. I’m not experienced in anything that’s not fighting. I barely know who I am anymore, how can I be any good for you at all?”            “Can you hold and eventually love me?”            “I think so.”            “Then that’s all I ask of you. As you said, you barely know who you are. I want to support you along that journey. You’re my beautiful prince, now and always. I’m here for you, through the thick and the thin.” Zuko was blushing at her words and cleared his throat a bit. “Zuko, I’ll wait for you and you don’t need to respond, just listen. I love you; I know I haven't known you long, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t fall from you the moment you gagged while gutting a fish but continued without any word of complaint. I just wanted you to know, even though you’re going through a lot, you are loved.”            Zuko could feel his heart pounding at her words, his eyes watered threatening to fall. He didn’t realize how starved he was for this affection, for those 3 simple words. Words he hasn’t heard since his mother disappeared. He adjusted their bodies to their sides, face to face. For some reason he was shocked to see so much of her blush, it was endearing. She only showed small amounts of blush here and there, but now, he could feel the heat coming off of her.            Zuko took a deep breath, trying to clear his mind before speaking, as he opened his mouth, ___ timidly pressed her fingertips against his lips. “I told you, you don’t need to respond. I just wanted you to know,”            Zuko gave her an annoyed grunt before removing her hand and quickly pressing his lips against hers. The intensity that stung his body could be mistaken for fire, but the passion and love he felt easily chased the fire. And he wanted more. Gripping their bodies together he let go of all the fears he had bottled. ___ kissed him back fervently, even though she was trying to hold back, he compressed them together, and started to turn his head, their first kiss turned into many.            ___ tried to push back, wanting to stop before she became too heated. But Zuko rolled on top of her slightly, the pressure made her moan and the sound revoked him. The guttural noise that escaped his throat, shocked even him. But even more jarring was her reaction, she pressed up against him making him gasp as she rubbed against his lower half. She used the advantage to claim his mouth with her tongue, making him moan. He tried to fight for dominance, but the way she made him feel, just felt too good.            Finally, she pulled away and pressed her forehead against his. The heat they created was almost smothering as they both panted softly.            “I love you too, ___.”            ___ pulled back with shock and tears in her eyes, to stare at him.            “What?” He asked, a bit hurt and annoyed. She kissed him perfervidly, but the softness behind it almost melted his heart. She pulled away what seemed all too soon for him.            “I just haven’t heard those words in a long time. I didn’t realize how much I wanted to hear them. My parents were the last people to say that to me, but this is a different love and it feels so stupendous.” She smiled at him, his smile the heartfelt one she always saved for him. She closed her eyes and yawned, pushing Zuko back a bit before cuddling and curling into his chest. He held her, closed his eyes too. He felt both of their hearts beating, although out of sync, the same love blossomed in both.

[imaginesbymk]

“Call in Sick Tomorrow.”

Reservoir Dogs One Shot

Summary: During his final moments, Freddy recalls the events from the robbery and the night before, where you find out who he really is, and because of your job as the retail jeweler at the same store the criminals plan the heist at, you showed up at the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Pairing: Mr. Orange/Freddy Newandyke x Reader

Tags: swearing, angst + violence, guns/shooting, robbery + blood

Non Requested

Word Count: 2,289

Author’s Note: not me simping for a young tim roth lmfaksmwksksksk ugh</3 hope y’all like it - leave a like/reblog + feedback!!!

THE cop who was covered in his own pool of blood from his gunshot wound, was now practically sticking to the dusty warehouse ramp. He laid there for a good fifteen minutes, maybe more or less, who was there to count? His company wasn’t making things better, either. “Listen to me, Marvin... listen to me, Marvin Nash, I’m a cop.”

“Yeah, I know.” The other bloodied cop, Marvin Nash, was tied up and had his ear cut off by Mr. Blonde, all he could do was bicker and moan in pain and rage. 

“You do?” The first cop asks.

“Yeah, your name’s Freddy something.”

“Newandyke,” he said. “Freddy Newandyke.”

“Frankie Ferchetti introduced us about five months ago.”

Freddy shakes his head. His wound definitely didn’t cause him memory loss. He was just too clueless to acknowledge colleagues, that was something he was aware of and he needed to work on it. “Shit, I don't remember that at all.”

“I do.” Marvin Nash coughs a bit of blood. “Freddy. How do I look?”

Freddy winces out a chuckle. “What? I don't know what to tell you, Marvin.” How do you look? If I told you, I’d be lucky you’re tied up.

“That fuck. That sick fuck! That fuckin' bastard!” 

“Marvin, I need you to hold on. There's cops waiting to move a block away.”

“What the fuck are they waiting for? This fuckin' guy, he slashes my face… and cuts my fuckin' ear off! I'm fuckin' deformed!” Marvin cries out.

Freddy clenches his jaw. How the fuck do you think I feel over here, asshole? “FUCK YOU! Fuck you, my love of my fucking life is gone! I’m fuckin’ dyin’ here! Y/N is gone and I’m fuckin’ dyin’!”

Marvin Nash, a bloodied cop who was now “fucking deformed”, really had no idea how bad the fellow cop’s current state was. Both of them were in pain, but one of them was gonna die first.

Freddy calms down a bit to explain the upcoming events he hopes to happen anytime soon. He was bleeding pretty bad, and it hurt like hell. “They're not to make a move 'til Joe Cabot shows up. I was sent in to get him. Alright? You heard 'em. They said he's on his way.” Marvin lets out a soft breath. Relief was touching a bit of his soul, now all is left is to wait it out, and listen to the sounds of rattling bullets and yells from cops out of one ear. 

“Don't pussy out on me now, Marvin,” Freddy says. “We're just gonna sit here and bleed… 'til Joe Cabot sticks his fuckin' head through that door.”

Marvin whimpers, then takes a long pause. “Freddy?”

Freddy looks up at Marvin Nash once more, lying on his arm for support, his body feeling like a throbbing stubbed toe. “Freddy?” Marvin talks about the giant elephant in the room. “What even fucking happened?”

THE last thing Freddy needed was to end up falling for you while he’s undercover. While he’s good at hiding his true identity from the recruits, he was also good at hiding it from you, but it wasn’t what he wanted in the first place. 

Freddy would never lie to you, but you don’t know that your boyfriend is actually a cop and not a cool bad boy that took care of weed for customers. It pained Freddy to lie to you about who he was. He never even told you that his name was Freddy, only to refer to him as his alias, Mr. Orange, but you paid no mind to it. You loved the mysterious thrill he had, even if that meant calling him a color most commonly known in a fruit.

To this day, he still wonders why you would want to date someone with such a dangerous persona. You made a living working at the same store the recruits were planning the heist at -  Karina’s Wholesale Diamonds, and you were allowed to wear the jewelry that was sold and refined there. You never came to think Mr. Orange was ever gonna steal from you, holding you at gunpoint? Rob your store while his face is covered then he kisses you goodnight hours after?

And so, Freddy’s confession and his first and last fight with you happened the night before the heist. A stressful twelve hours, and it all started with you throwing his police badge on the coffee table, right on top of his Marvel catalog. 

“You’ve been staring at that thing for a whole minute now,” you said, standing stiff as a statue, towering over him on the couch. 

Mr. Orange scrunches his nose. “It was from a cop back in Torrance. The fucker most likely lost his job for carelessly leaving it on a bench.”

“You’ve visited Torrance?”

He nodded. “Y/N, I kept that badge in one of my stashes. You and I agreed to not go through each other’s shit like that - y’know, outta respect?”

“I know that, but you asked me to get your TV guide from one of the drawers. You said you keep it next to your stash, I may not have found pot but I definitely found that.” You nod at the badge. 

Orange shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you, babes, but that ain’t mine. Also I ran outta weed, that’s why I haven’t been making any sales lately.”

“You must suck at reeling customers in,” you took out your other hand hidden behind your back, now throwing four poorly folded sheets of paper stapled together right next to the badge. “Otherwise why the hell would you have this; an annotated script about you delivering weed to people, the same words you told me about how you walked into the men’s room with a big bag of weed in front of a couple of  cops and a dog?”

Orange was silent. You knew he was lying. Silence was as painful as spewing out another lie. Not once has there ever been a close call, but now he was trapped with no words to come out his mouth. Even if he did have something to say, each lie he told you felt like he was throwing daggers at your heart. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“Orange, is there something you’re not telling me?” Orange merely frowned and got up from the couch, eyeing you up and down. He looked tired from whatever he did the whole day and resting on the couch while watching a movie on the TV was well needed. That, but he was tired of sleeping next to you while a police badge was taunting him in one of the drawers.

“I don’t sell weed, y/n. And the police badge wasn’t from Torrance.”

“So all of that... you smuggling weed in a bowling bag?” you scoff, feeling your blood boil. “You just made that up?”

“Y/n- baby” he starts.

“What the hell? Why would you make that up?” you ask.

“It’s what I had to do,” Orange says. 

You scoff. “Right. That was your way of making friends or to get free drinks, or even getting me to sleep with you?”

“It’s not like that, it was never like that.”

“This is so fucked up!” Hearing you say that made Freddy’s heart fall into a thousand pieces. “Tell me the truth, Orange, if that’s even your fucking name. Who gives birth, looks at their child and goes, ‘Your name is Orange’? As if your kid won’t ever get bullied from that.”

“That’s because that isn’t my fucking name. It’s an alias.”

You shook your head. “Okay, then. Who the fuck are you?”

He clenched his eyes shut, and opened them, wishing you disappeared out of his sight. “Look at my badge.”

You slowly hunched over the table, picking up the badge. You raised a brow at him.

“I want you to hold it while I tell you. My real name is Freddy Newandyke. I’m working undercover for a diamond heist formed by Joe Cabot... the group of criminals he hired are gonna rob your store, stuff a briefcase full of diamonds worth a college tuition, and they’re gonna break it apart, pawn it, whatever fulfills their need.”

“You’re a cop,” you say, confirming what he said was true. Otherwise, that could have been another lie.

He nodded. “I work for the LAPD.”

“What else?”

A pause, then he traces his finger on your hand before curling it with his. “I love you.” His face softens. “My name’s Freddy Newandyke. I’m a cop. The gang I’m undercover for is gonna rob your store tomorrow, and I love you.”

You slowly nodded, looking down at the badge in your other hand. There were no signs of a lie in his tone of voice. His name seems legit, and of course, you loved him, too. “Why didn’t you tell me... Freddy?”

“Because you go after guys that would do the things I told in my story, fellas who you fantasize of having a fucking Bonnie and Clyde ride or die bullshit with, and not me - a cop who geeks out over Marvel.”

“You’re saying my work is being targeted for a heist?” you said. “And you’re part of it?”

Freddy nodded. “You think I’m ever gonna rob you, lie to your face like that? Then walk out of your life, take off just like that - and never see you again?”

“You’ve been lying to me.”

“I’m sorry for lying to you, and whether I told you about who I was or not, I don’t want you involved. Crime gets you in trouble, being undercover puts you in danger,” Freddy kisses your forehead. “You can get caught stealing and smuggling drugs, you can get caught slipping out of character if you’re not careful. You can’t win.”

You tried walking around the couch to disperse into the kitchen, but Freddy stopped in front of you. “I wasn’t born yesterday, asshole. I know what an undercover cop is, if your cover gets blown, you’re fucked.” You crossed your arms. “So what else is gonna happen?”

“We planned this; cops are gonna show up on time, as long as a gun doesn’t go off, we’ll be okay, and the men will be in cuffs as well as Joe Cabot. But listen to me, I don’t want you to show up to work tomorrow, I don’t want you there, I don’t want to have a man in a suit point a gun at your face, and I definitely don’t want you to be a hero,” Freddy says, cupping both your cheeks. “That’s my job.”

“I’m freakin’ pissed at you, but I’m not gonna stay home.” You took his hands off your face.

“I’d rather let myself get caught by a bunch of criminals than have your life threatened by criminals.”

“You’re willing to do that?”

“Anything for you.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Getting hurt is part of the job. Y/n, you can’t be a hero. Not like that.”

“Freddy-”

“Y/n, please.” Freddy begs, his face tightening. “If you can’t forgive me; if you can’t trust me anymore, then you can hate me all you want. But for fuck’s sake, at least call in sick tomorrow.”

Yet, you were so stubborn, that was something you needed to work on. Freddy knew it, too. You didn’t listen. The day came, and you showed up, anyway, not wanting to live knowing the guy you loved no matter who he claimed he was. He was in charge of standing at the door, not allowing anyone access inside or out. But upon seeing you behind the counter through the glass window, you saw Freddy’s face drop. “No…”

The deafening sound of the alarm goes off by one of the retailers, forcing Mr. Blonde to shoot everyone he saw, including you.

Freddy cried out this time, “No!” 

People inside- the employees and customers, all screamed together. Freddy slammed his hands against the display windows, watching you as you fall back onto the floor, bleeding out from your shoulder. Mr. Blonde nearly shot everyone in the room, even almost hitting Mr. White in the process. He spotted your foot sticking out, and you attempted to crawl away, but he pointed his gun at you again. 

Just as planned, the police break in, prompting him to run away. You collapsed in your pool of blood, realizing how this was straight out of a crime movie scene, and the pain of your wound was inexplicable. How could you feel it with every inch in your body and still manage to move ever so slightly?

You looked back, realizing you were all alone, the only one left alive. Freddy didn’t do what a hero would have done, and escaped with the men, holding back his tears with his dear life behind the dark shades of his sunglasses, fighting to stay in character.

He had to assume the more logical conclusion; you were treated at the hospital, or you bleed to death back at that jewelry wholesale, and you died hating him.

Whether you knew him as a criminal or an undercover cop, you were going to show up, anyway, because you want to protect him, like any kind of Bonnie and Clyde you’d expect from movies. Except Bonnie and Clyde were both shot to death. In this world, Clyde escapes - Bonnie was left to bleed out.

FREDDY stared up at Marvin Nash. Does Freddy regret accepting the undercover mission? A brave young man like him took such a dangerous job, but he knew he was better off without it. The last thing he said to you swarmed his mind like bees; “Call in sick tomorrow.”

THE END

_

taglist: @locke-writes​

[charmingyong]

Sassy Girl’s Obsession

Genre: Taeil x fem!reader, university, humour, fluff, angst

Warnings: mentions of stereotype and violence, police scene

Word count: 3.7k

Plot: You were a courageous, energetic, and resolute girl that had boys falling for you. You fell in love at first sight with a particular music student who was also a relative of your friend, Doyoung. Your curiosity grew when he ignored you, making you go through great lengths to win his heart. Taeil was cautious of you and your reputation around campus, but every time he tried to get away from you, you’d always run after him… and secretly he liked it too.

A/N: This obsession is harmless and pretty humourful. Reader’s personality is supposed to be a mix of Hwang Yongsik from ‘When the Camellia Blooms’ and Ko Moonyoung from ‘It’s Okay to Not Be Okay.’ If you see that, then YAY! If not, then just ignore I said that :) There’s a Cardcaptor Sakura reference included if you know that anime.

- ❀ -

《 Picky Picky – Weki Meki 》

You inwardly groaned when Felix nervously stood beside your seat.

“Y/N, I got you this.” He handed you a box wrapped in silver gift wrap with a red envelope taped to the top.

You flashed him a smile, more fake than genuine. “Thanks.”

He beamed at you, not leaving from his spot and waited for your next move.

You quirked an eyebrow. “You want me to open this now?”

He frantically nodded, excited to see your reaction.

You sighed and ripped the envelop off before tearing the gift wrap apart. The box was a set of three perfumes of the most luxurious brands that you had ever heard of. You weren’t interested in two of the scents, but the third one piqued your interest. Japanese cherry blossom.

You chuckled. “Wow,” you breathed out. “And what’s this for?” You didn’t have to ask because every time a guy did this to you, there was only one thing they wanted.

Felix bit his lips nervously and said, “Um, it’s in the card.”

You pulled the card out from the red envelope and flipped it open.

- I really like you. Will you go on a date with me please?

Okay so you did have a soft heart for people who had manners, especially when they used the word please. He was only asking for a date, unlike previous boys who’d straight up ask you to be their girlfriend. However, you simply weren’t into going on a date with someone who liked you. There were guys who had piqued your interest and you went on some dates with them. But they’d all end up boring the hell out of you, flexing about their physique or their love for luxurious cars. Your taste in men had gone from being open to being super selective and picky.

“I’m sorry Felix. I’ll have to turn you down. You can take this back,” you said trying to hand the gift back but he shook his head.

“No please don’t be sorry. I understand you get asked out a lot so I was only taking a chance at it. I really do like you and I wish you keep the gift. Please?”

Oh. “Okay... thanks.”

He smiled and left your side, a little dejected.

Doyoung elbowed your side hard. “Ow! What the hell Dons!”

“Are you crazy? You shouldn’t give a gift back to the same person.”

“Yeah but it was hella expensive.”

“So? Don’t you sell the other ones off?”

“Yeah because they come from assholes. Felix was at least being polite.”

“Then you should have agreed on a date with him.”

“I don’t want to hurt him after by saying that I just did it for the gift so I won’t feel bad about selling it off for tuition.”

He scoffed. “You’re so nice.”

“And you’re mean.” You stuck your tongue out at him.

- ❀ -

《 Heart Attack – AOA 》

You walked your friend to his music class before you went for your coffee break. You spotted a boy that you didn’t recognize standing right outside the music class.

“Oh Taeil!” Doyoung called.

The boy looked at him and the smile that followed after had your heart skipping a beat.

When you and Doyoung stopped right in front of him, your friend did the introductions. ���Y/N, this is Taeil. He’s actually my second cousin and he recently transferred here. Taeil, this is Y/N, my friend.”

Taeil smiled warmly at you. “Nice to meet you, Y/N.”

Thump thump.

Thump thump.

You could hear your heartbeat loudly at the sound of his melodic voice and the sweet smile complimented with it.

- ❀ -

In the library, you fell asleep with your forehead planted flat on the table while Doyoung worked on his assignment beside you.

He rolled his eyes at you and shook your shoulder, but no response was received.

“Y/N?”

Still no response.

He huffed and flicked his finger at the top of your head.

You jolted up and yelled “Taeil!”

All eyes landed on you in the library. You apologized to the students and shrunk in your seat, feeling embarrassed.

Doyoung looked at you with suspicious eyes. “Why on earth did his name come out of your mouth?”

You felt heat rise up to your cheeks and laughed it off nervously. “Haha oops.”

He narrowed his eyes on you. “Don’t oops me. What is it?”

You weighed your options. If you told Doyoung, then he could possibly support you. But then, at the same time he wouldn’t because this was about his cousin. Yet above everything, he was your friend.

“I like Taeil.”

“Like? What kind of like?”

“Like I mean like like.”

He exhaled. “You know I’ll be on your side for anything. But this is my cousin we’re talking about. If you mess things up, I don’t think I’ll be able to look at you because my cousin comes first.”

You nodded. “I know, but I think I’m serious about him, Dons.”

He watched your face carefully, trying to discern whether this was fleeting or something deeper. He couldn’t find any hints on the former and slumped his shoulders.

 - ❀ -

《 Signal – Twice 》

You were delighted at the fact that Taeil was in one of your classes with Doyoung. It was unfortunate that he opted to sit more in the middle of the room when you sat at the back. You didn’t like paying attention to the particular professor as his teaching method didn’t work for you. But the newbie being his cousin, Doyoung chose to sit with him.

You didn’t mind that because you were preoccupied by the task at hand. Thankful that you were an ace with your throwing skills, your paper airplane flew across the class.

The couple sitting in front of you threw a look at you, silently asking ‘are you crazy?’ and a few snickers were heard as the plane flew past them.

It hit the back of Taeil’s head and his hand went up to rub the spot. He ignored it shortly and resumed his attention on the lecture at the front.

Your jaw dropped. Did he just ignore it? But you were resolute. You prepared another airplane and flung it to him. This time he noticed something was up and found the airplanes on the floor. He unfolded the flaps and read the message, both of them identical.

- I like you, from your secret admirer, Y/N

Taeil blinked at your handwriting. First, he was surprised that a girl even liked him. He was boring and a nerd. And second, it was you that liked him. He heard about you around campus and he wasn’t sure whether you were serious about him or it was merely an infatuation that you’d get bored of later on.

He whipped his head around to find you sending a flying kiss in his way.

Taeil turned back around to focus on the board, his heart beating erratically. He couldn’t let himself fall for you, only for you to grow tired of and leave him.

You on the other hand were puzzled by his lack of response. No guy had ever overlooked you when sending them a signal and the thought of Taeil being the first one to do it added onto to the fun of you trying to win his heart.

 - ❀ -

《 Not That Type – gugudan 》

Doyoung dragged you to the library after you refused to work on your assignments. All you wanted to do was sleep and you were ready to bolt out the doors until the studious boy that had your heart beating hard caught your sight.

You left your friend’s hold and ran to sit down at the empty seat across him. Taeil was stumped when you sat with your arms crossed on the table, your eyes intently fixed on his face and a smile adorning your beautiful face. “Hi Taeil,” you sweetly greeted.

Doyoung caught up and sat down beside his cousin. “Hey, Taeil. What’s up?”

Taeil ignored you and responded back to him.

You blankly stared at him, perplexed that he once again ignored you. You got his attention once you blurted out, “I like you.”

Taeil stilled and took a deep breath before facing you. “Look Y/N, I really don’t know if you seriously mean that-”

“I’m not lying,” you deadpanned.

“I’m not saying that you are. You could really just be into me for the moment. But I know you’ll get bored of me. So it’s best if you leave me alone.”

Doyoung stayed silent, anxiously observing the conversation between you and his cousin.

You quirked an eyebrow at him. “You really don’t know how I feel about you and I’m going to show it.”

- ❀ -

《 Fancy – Twice 》

You still kept receiving expensive gifts from your admirers and so you decided to sell them off to buy some special things for the one you admired.

When you made your way to your usual seat in the back, you handed Taeil a box wrapped in pink gift wrap. Every time you saw him around campus, you’d handover the gifts to him. They’d range from chocolates, plaid shirts, denim and leather jackets, packs of Coca-Cola as Doyoung had mentioned one time that Taeil loved to drink those.

Next time, you found him sitting on one of the outdoor benches, basking under the sunlight. He noticed your form approaching him and slightly groaned inwardly. Even though he found you super annoying, he couldn’t stop his heart beating unsteadily. He secretly found it thrilling to have you run after him when it’d be vice versa with the other boys, especially when you’d send him numerous gifts of things that he loved. He could tell that you put thought into the presents and weren’t just sending him expensive things. For that, he had to give you plus points.

“Hi Taeil,” you beamed at him, clutching onto his next gift behind your back.

He sighed. “Hi Y/N. What is it now?”

You pulled out a handmade teddy bear with a red ribbon tied into a perfect bow around its neck. “I made this for you.”

He held the plushie carefully, inspecting its customized design. “You made this by yourself?”

You nodded, chuckling quietly. “Yup.”

His heart skipped a beat at the thought of you spending time to build the teddy bear yourself and it was then that he noticed a few bandages wrapped around the tips of your fingers.

Oh Y/N, what are you doing to my heart, he thought.

 - ❀ -

《 I Don’t Like Your Girlfriend – Weki Meki 》

Taeil wanted to test your liking for him and asked his female friend from his music class for help.

You walked with Doyoung into the cafeteria and your heart stopped at the sight of Taeil.

Sitting across a girl.

You didn’t want to feel like the jealous type but you couldn’t stop the green feeling from erupting when you noticed the girl leaning in to give Taeil a peck on his cheek.

You gritted your teeth and clenched your hands tightly into a fist. “Oh that girl is so dead.”

Right before you stormed off, Doyoung grabbed your arm. “What the hell are you going to do?”

You yanked your arm free. “Watch me.”

With fume coming out of your ears, you stomped over to the two being lovey dovey with one another. When Taeil saw your figure from the corner of his eyes, he tried his best to stop the smile from spilling onto his face.

You found a Coca-Cola drink resting beside the girl’s plate and grabbed it, pouring the drink on top of her head.

It took a few seconds for the girl to register what had just happened and when it did, she screamed. “Are you psycho?” She got up and ran out of the cafeteria.

Taeil looked at you in pure disgust and disappointment. “Seriously Y/N? Are you really that desperate for me? Can’t you see that I’m trying to get you to leave me alone?” He wasn’t going to admit just yet of his true feelings for you.

Your lips formed an ‘oh.’ “So was this all an act? To get me to leave you alone?”

He was tugging hard at his hair. “For God’s sake, yes Y/N. You really should go and apologize to my friend. I asked her to do that,” he yelled, his face turning a bit red. “Can you just leave me alone?”

You pursed your lips and nodded. “Okay.”

Your response took him by surprise, his heart dropping a little. “What?”

“I’ll leave you alone.”

He went speechless. He didn’t think you were actually going to leave him alone after all this time of you being after him.

You sighed, looking at the floor, acting in defeat. “You thought I was going to say that, huh?”

He blinked, looking very lost.

You lifted your gaze to his and calmly repeated. “You really thought I’ll leave you alone. I’m never giving up.”

- ❀ -

《 Why – Taeyeon 》

You sat down in your seat waiting for your professor to arrive. You didn’t have either your friend or your crush in that evening lecture, so it was going to be a pain sitting still and not snore off until class was dismissed.

A guy came up to you with his group of friends behind him. Why did they walk up to you, you didn’t know. But you recognized its leader to be one of the guys that you had rejected.

Based on his facial expression, you didn’t like where this could possibly go.

- ❀ -

“Taeil? Have you see Y/N?” Doyoung asked his cousin frantically.

“What? No. Why?”

“I usually meet her at a bubble tea shop after her class ends, but she wasn’t there.” Doyoung’s voice was laced with anxiety. Your phone was switched off, which you’d never do in class as you’d usually be scrolling on your phone.

It was getting dark as the night fell. Even though he was mad at you for the act you pulled in the cafeteria on his friend, he couldn’t stop himself from worrying about you.

A phone rang and Doyoung picked it up. “Hello? Yes I am. WHAT?! Oh my God… Okay I will be there soon.” Doyoung hung up, with a registered shock on his face.

“What happened?” Taeil asked, hoping it had something to do with your whereabouts and you weren’t in danger.

“Do you want to come with me? I need to go to the police station.”

Taeil’s forehead lined with confusion. “Yes but why?”

“Y/N’s been charged with physical assault.”

- ❀ -

You sat on the chair, waiting for your friend to arrive and bail you out. Your arms were crossed as you huffed in anger at the boy sitting beside you. He held his broken nose while his head was slightly cracked open from the glass water bottle that you had smashed on it. He whimpered in pain, making you laugh bitterly in your head.

He deserved it, you thought.

Doyoung arrived, followed by the boy that you didn’t expect to come for you as well. Taeil looked around for you and when he found you, he sighed in relief to see you not hurt. The mere reaction from him made your heart soar, making you think that he was concerned for you. But when your brain reminded you of the thing that you promised yourself to do later, your heart fell.

“Y/N, what happened?” Doyoung asked, almost like he was scolding you.

Before you could reply, the police officer spoke up. “This young lady used physical violence on this man out of the blue.”

You gaped at him and slammed your hands on the officer’s desk, standing up. “It was not out of the blue! He started it!”

“No, she started it, officer,” the injured boy said weakly.

You turned to the boy. “You asked for it! That’s not my fault!” you yelled.

“Miss, please lower your tone,” the officer said sternly.

“Y/N, what exactly happened?” Doyoung asked.

You took a deep breath in, calming yourself down for a few seconds, and narrated the evening. “I was waiting for the lecture to begin, and this guy comes up to me with his friends. He starts talking shit about Taeil, how much of a nerd he is and how he doesn’t deserve someone like me. I got so mad that I broke his nose and I broke my water bottle on his head out of anger. You cannot tell me that this was my fault.”

While Taeil didn’t like that you used violence and risked yourself into getting in trouble, his heart pounded against his chest at the thought of you standing up for him.

The boy only asked for his injuries to be paid for, in which Doyoung agreed to as much as you hated it. After Doyoung bailed you out, you stepped into the night, breathing in the crisp air.

Taeil silently took hold of you hand, startling you, and observed out of concern the small bruise that formed from breaking the person’s nose.

You pulled out of his grasp, confusing him. You met his shining eyes, having something to tell him.

“Taeil, I really like you. Actually… I really love you. I always have and always will. If someone badmouths you, I’m not going to hold back and do nothing. I’m not scared of anyone or anything.” You paused briefly, sighing in defeat. “I know I can’t force you to like me back. I thought I could but I guess I can’t. And I don’t want you to hate me if I continue this ‘obsession’ so while this might seem like I’m ending my desire to win your heart, I’ll still always love you, Taeil.”

You gave him one last sincere smile before turning on your heels and walking away. You hugged yourself as your eyes stung with tears threatening to fall out. You willed yourself to not make a vocal sound of your heart breaking for the boys to hear from the distance.

Doyoung felt his heart become heavy, seeing his friend like that for the first time in his life. He knew he couldn’t do anything as everything was up to his cousin to decide what to do with the confession.

Taeil felt the honesty behind your words, and that made his heart shatter. He always disregarded your true feelings for him and told you off, trying to get you off his back for annoying him. He too liked you but was only being super cautious in case your feelings were short-lived. He made up his mind. He wanted to confess back to you. And for that, he had to do something in order to make it up to you.

- ❀ -

《 Cover Up – Taeyeon 》

“Here,” Doyoung handed you a gift bag and you groaned.

“Don’t tell me this is you breaking our friendship promise to ask my hand in marriage.”

He laughed. “No, but you like the person that this is coming from.”

“What?” You couldn’t believe your ears. Was it really from him? Your heart banged in your chest as you opened up the bag, gasping to see a teddy bear that looked similar to your handmade one except it was in a different shade of brown, lighter to his, and the colour of the ribbon tied around its neck being a light shade of pink.

“There’s a note in the bag too,” he grinned.

“Huh?” You rummaged your hand around in the bag, feeling the card and pulling it out. The card was handmade as well, with a large red heart in the middle of the white space. ‘I LOVE YOU’ was written on the heart in big letters. You flipped the card to check the backside for more writing and your heart stopped.

- I’m sorry Y/N to hurt you like the way I did. But I really like you too. I was scared to be someone who you’d ditch once you’d find someone better than me or get bored of me. That’s why I always tried to avoid you or do things to get you to stop being after me. But your confession outside the police station made me believe in your feelings and I was bad to let you walk away. I wanted to properly apologize before confessing my true feelings for you. This teddy bear is the same diy kit you got to make mine so Y/N… I’m sorry and I love you. From your secret but not so secret admirer, Taeil

You felt your eyes sting hard as you tried to keep your tears at bay. “Doyoung, he…” your voice failed as your emotions were ready to explode.

Your friend smiled. “Yes, Taeil.”

“Where is he?”

“He’s outside our music class, the first place you met him.”

You sprinted down the hallway and turned around the corner. At the distance you found the boy that had all of your heart.

“Taeil!” you yelled and ran up to him.

He turned his head, happy to see you and held his arms open. You crashed into him, wrapping your arms around his waist, and clutched tightly onto the gift bag.

“I can’t believe you like me back!” you cried.

He laughed at your dramatic self and patted the back of your head gently. He pulled back slightly and wiped your tears away, pressing a haste kiss on your forehead. “You’re really cute. How can I not like you?”

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

“IT WORTH IT”

Ezequiel “Ez” Reyes x Coco's sister!reader

Anon asked: if it’s okay for you could you write a ez Reyes x coco’s sister!reader ?

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: soft physical abuse and smut.

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. English isn’t my first language, I’m sorry if I have some mistakes with grammar. The gif isn't mine.

Thanks to my lovely @starrynite7114 for helping me reading it before posting, looking for mistakes.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 @chibsytelford @dazzledamazon @mara-mpou 💥 (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

When Coco founds you and told you he killed your mother, you started to laugh uncontrollably. You couldn’t believe it was true. That bitch, and never better said, forced you to ‘work on the streets’. Besides, every dollar you earned, she kept it. Your brother had a serious gesture in his face, telling you without words that he wasn’t joking. Your eyes started to cover in tears, setting up a knot in your chest. Hell was over. You hugged him, putting your arms around his waist, letting all the pain out of your body. Took some seconds to Johnny to do the same, holding you in his arms next to his body. It was time to go back home.

You slept non-stop for the next two days, getting up off the bed only when you were needing to eat something or go to the bathroom. Coco took care of everything. He paid the debts your mother left in your name and also gave you some money to buy decent clothes to wear. While Letti was recovering her life too, going to high-school as a girl of her age, your brother found you a new job. It wasn’t your favorite thing on earth, but it was a decent job.

Felipe was Angel and EZ’s father. An old man with a strange past, like Coco said, who needed some help with his carnicería. From Monday to Thursday, he hired you to serve the customers in the morning. At first, you thought that could be boring, but that man was really funny, kind, and intelligent. When everything was calmed and there wasn't any client to attend, he used to talk to you about books and the kind of poetry his deceased wife loved. An old and wise man who understood that you were forced to destroy your life, and now you were looking for a second chance.

After some months working there, Felipe trusted you more than his children and for that he asked you to close the shop Friday night. You didn’t asked, you never did and you’ll never do.

It’s almost ten when the last customer left the place, closing and locking the door, sighing as you did. You leave the apron hanging in the wall coat rack, before washing your hands with soap and disinfectant. Then, you’re ready to count the money and keep it safe in the warehouse. You write down in the notebook an orders summary of the day and how much was the total, as your boss showed you to close the day. After leaving everything clean and changing your clothes, you go out through the back door to the alley, locking it with the keys he gave you. Coco told you to go to the MC where they’re having a party, but the only thing you wanna do is go home, eat something, watch a movie and sleep.

You walk down the empty avenue with hands inside your pocket and your eyes looking straight ahead, but you’re not paying attention to anything that is happening around you, thinking in your own business. Because of that, you don’t see it coming. Long fingers grab your hair, pulling you back. The scream, that you utter falling down to the floor, finishes when your head hits it. A sharp beep settles in your ears, when you see blurry. A man lays on top of you and starts to punch you. One fist goes to your cheek making it burn in pain. You try to set yourself free, moving desperately behind him. The second fist goes to your mouth, breaking your inner lip and leaving the metallic taste of blood runs down by your throat. It hurts. It hurts too much. You ask for help, but you know how Santo Padre works. If a chulo is hitting one of his bitches, anybody is gonna separate him from you. But you’re not that shit anymore. And you try to fight.

When you’re pretty sure the third fist is gonna leave you knocked out, the arm stops raising in the air. Coco is there. Angel, Gilly, Creeper and EZ too. The youngest Reyes helps you to get up, wrapping in his strong arms guiding you to his bike. The guys are fucking up the man that dared to mess with you, after being paid with a huge amount of money. You’re crying harder, hiding your face against EZ’s chest till he makes you sit on his motorbike.

“Hey, hey… Look at me.” He took your cheeks between his big hands, having a look of your face to know if you’re okay. But they’re not gonna bring you to the hospital, they’re gonna take care of you by themselves. He hugged you again in the warmest way, giving you a kiss on top of the head, before Coco could walk next to you. He kisses you too, feeling protected when the men stuck around you.

“Probably will send some of his men tomorrow.” Creeper said looking at the guy laying on the ground unconscious.

“Eh, boy scout, could she stay with ya’ tonig’? She will be safe in the roulotte, near the ' ‘clubhouse”. Coco doesn’t want him to do it, he wants to protect you. But Johnny knows he must burn the fucking place where that man locked you once.

“I’ll take care of her. Rest is yours”. EZ nodded, helping you to fasten the helmet, before driving away.

He presses the wet cotton in alcohol against your inner lip, after cleaning the blood that was running through your jaw and neck. He’s doing it softly without wanting to hurt you more, while you're holding a bag of frozen peas on your check. The pain is fading, but you know well that tomorrow you’re gonna have some bruises in your face. EZ is very concentrated in his task, doing it slowly till seems better.

“I’m sorry”. You finally say with your eyes down, trying not to cry again.

“Why?” He looks confused, putting apart the cotton. He gets up off the small bed to bring you some water.

“You were having fun, I just… I ruined it”.

“No, you didn’t, (Y/N)”. He shakes his head, taking a seat in front of you, more close than you can really notice. “Coco thinks that should be fun if you come with us and Letti. And Angel was worried about you closing the shop alone. He wasn’t wrong.”

EZ simply shrugs. He knows you. He knows you well, ‘cause the time he isn’t with the MC, he visits you and his father in the carnicería. He also is always recommending you books to read in your free time, to talk about them after you finish them. He was kind to you since you met him, everybody is, but he does the most. So, you’re not sure when you decided it was a good idea to kiss him. But there you are with your hands supported in his knees, pressing your lips against his. At first, he can’t react, keeping his eyes open. And you’re about to put yourself away when he pushes you into him with his hands on your waist. Sitting on his lap, the kiss goes deep. Even the pain in your mouth doesn’t stop you to receive his curious tongue looking for yours. It feels good. It’s not your first one, but it’s the first time you do it ‘cause you want it without being forced.

As the seconds go by, it gets more passionate and needy. You two have been avoiding it because of Coco, but you’re about to die or something worse. His hands run over your hips, your back and your breast, letting him strain a hand under your dress looking for your panties. When he slices it down your legs, the next move is put down the zipper. He's hard, more than you could feel when your hips were dancing on top of him seconds ago. You do when he rams you without expecting it. Your groan meets his roar in your pressed lips against his. He doesn't make another move, waiting to you to feel comfortable with his hardness invading your narrowness. It's not your first time, he knows. But it's been a long time since your last and, of course, it's not the same.

You want please EZ and he wanna do you the same. Maybe it's not about love or maybe it is. But you two feel the desire running in your veins. And you want to do it before Coco arrives and kills you both. You start to move your hips, from up to down, slowly. Enjoying for the first time with your hands on his nape and his on your waist. You move faster according to, to feel more pleasure, forehead against forehead, with his light brown eyes on yours to not miss a single detail. He loved the way you whispered his name, moaning against his lips, once and again.

“You like it… uh?” He asks in a whisper, knowing what he is referring to.

“Ye-Yes. I really do, EZ”. You nod with your chin before get kissed slowly than the moves of your hips do by inertia.

The youngest Reyes smiles softly, feeling how the heat begins to focus in his cock. He doesn't know how he should ask you, but you were with more men that you wanna remember and you feel it. No words needed. You want him to do it, so pull him out it's not an option. Moving faster, your moans meets again, you can't avoid it. Both are sweating and you're tongues are fighting inside his mouth. Feels so good. And you think you can touch the sky when he finally cums inside you, with a fury roar drowned in his throat. Your orgasm comes too a few seconds later with his full name going out your lips.

The only things that break the silence inside the roulotte are your heavy breathing and some complicit laughs.

“Do you... know is the first time someone… ‘do it’? You whisper with a low tone in your voice, trying to make him know that never before anyone cum inside you, nor make you come to an orgasm.

His proud smile appears from nowhere, giving you some short kisses without moving an inch.

“When I get the patch, I'll ask Coco for you”. He confesses laying his back against the wall to have a better view of you. “Will you wait for me?”

It's a question you don't expect. At least, not in a moment like this. But, yes. You're going to wait as long as it takes.

[seyesnyl]

Examining the history of queer comics in the US

As previously mentioned, I am interested in creating graphic novels or comics during my practice as an illustrator. As a Nigerian, I also wish to include Nigerian elements in my comics and social commentary about the state of my home country. I want to comment on the injustices being faced by minority groups in tasteful ways in both metaphorical - like some of my favorite superhero comics- and literal as comic journalism. A particular social injustice I am interested in that the Nigerian government seems unwilling to budge on is its treatment of LGBTQIA+ people.

Considering the laws set in place against LGBTQIA people in Nigeria, a graphic novel about the situation will be controversial. I am intrigued to research how entertainment media (specifically, comics) navigated representing queer issues and topics in other countries that previously had unfavorable laws and attitudes towards queer people but have changed over time

The focus for this post will be the United States of America with a look at the correlation between the developments in the representation of queerness in comics and other mass media and the change in the country’s attitudes towards queer people.

In 1954, major U.S. publishers formed the Comics Magazine Association of America and its censorship arm, the Comics Code Authority (CCA 1954). This has been said to be in response to concerns over the explicit violence and sexual themes in depictions of superheroes (Bramlett, Cook and Meskin, 2016). The sexual themes that seemed queer in these comics were largely sub-textual and highlight the prejudice and paranoia against queer possibilities like what the Nigerian government currently emulates. This act of censorship brought to a halt any subtle references to gender nonconformity and same-sex attraction in mainstream comics.

Because of the restrictions in mainstream publishing, queer comic strips started to appear in underground comics and adult magazines in the 1960s. Chute (2008) talks about the rise of underground comics during this period as a reaction to the censorious content code that debilitated the mainstream industry and describes them as an influential cultural vehicle, challenging and arresting because they meditated on the violation of taboo. According to Murphy (2014), the world’s first gay comic strip was arguably Harry Chess: That Man from A.U.N.T.I.E., (Fig. 01) published from 1965 to ’66. However, other scholars like McGurk (2018), have pointed out earlier presences of queer comics - even though subliminal- like Lucy and Sophie Say Goodbye (Fig. 02) which was published weekly in newspapers in 1905, written and drawn by an unidentified artist. In the same decade as Harry Chess, Tuoko Laaksonen illustrated and released  another popular gay comic series titled 'Kake', under the pseudonym, Tom of Finland.

(Fig 01) Harry Chess That Man from A.U.N.T.I.E. https://glreview.org/article/the-lives-and-times-of-harry-chess/ 

(Fig. 02) Lucy and Sophie Say Goodbye, May 21, 1905. Chicago Tribune.

Unlike Lucy and Sophie Say Goodbye, which could be interpreted as an exaggerated parody of women's social behavior, Harry Chess and Kake were inherently sexual and left little for subtext. Murphy (2014) describes the publication of Harry Chess as a key shift in gay publications and gay politics, and Ajuan Mance in The Routledge Companion to books noted that the explicit sex in strips of the two comics “created both a space and a demand for broader portrayals of gay men’s lives”. (Bramlett, Cook and Meskin, 2016).

To provide context for where the United States was in laws concerning queer rights in the ’60s, Illinois had just become the first U.S. state to decriminalize homosexuality by repealing its sodomy laws, and several milestone protests including the Stonewall Riot occurred during the decade The Supreme Court had also ruled in favor of an LGBT magazine when a suit was filed against them after the U.S. Postal Service and FBI declared the magazine obscene material. (Milestones in the American Gay Rights Movement | American Experience | PBS, 2021). There had been little progress in legal rights compared to the country’s present status, but queer Americans were visibly fighting for them.

The late 1970s and early 1980s saw the next wave of queer comics like Wendel, It’s a Gay Life, Leonard and Larry, Poppers and Chelsea Boys, which were all published in gay magazines. These comics reflected their primarily gay male readership in that the characters “attended gay pride celebrations, shopped at LGBTQ bookstores, and responded to the AIDS crisis, the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), and Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell, all while falling in and out of love.” (Bramlett, Cook and Meskin, 2016).

It was not until about 28 years later in Marvel’s Captain America Vol. 1 #270 (1982) that either of the large mainstream comics publishers (Marvel and DC) featured a story-line depicting queer or trans characters (Bramlett, Cook and Meskin, 2016). In this issue, Captain America helps his childhood best friend, Arnie, by rescuing Arnie’s close friend, Michael. Through subtext, it seemed to become clear to Captain America that Arnie and Michael were, in fact, a couple. (https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Captain_America_Vol_1_270).

(Fig. 03) Cover of Marvel’s Captain America Vol. 1 #270 (1982)(https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Captain_America_Vol_1_270). 

Throughout the 1980s, more queer characters were depicted, although indirectly and still with subtext like Captain America’s Arnie. The CCA, in response to the greater inclusion of LGBTQ characters and themes in the film and other popular media forms, revised its Code to lift its prohibitions against queer characters and content. CCA-approved comics however were to avoid the graphic depiction of “sexual activity” and that depictions of adult relationships, “be presented with good taste, sensitivity, and in a manner, which will be acceptable by a mass audience” (CCA 1989).

Over the years to date, DC and Marvel have introduced characters explicitly stating their orientation, including Northstar, an X-Men character; members of The Runaways and the Young Avengers; and notably Batwoman, who came out as a lesbian. The popular Archie Comics in 2010 introduced a gay character named Kevin Keller (Fig. 04) who eventually had his spinoff comic in 2012. Ajuan Mance noted the debut of Kevin Keller as queer attracted a higher level of attention than any Marvel or DC character (Bramlett, Cook and Meskin, 2016). In 2014, Kelvin Keller got married to his spouse in the Life with Archie series (Fig. 05) a few years after New York and other US states legalized same-sex marriage and a year before the Supreme Court declared same-sex marriage legal.

(Fig. 04) https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11661956-kevin-keller

(Fig. 05) https://womenwriteaboutcomics.com/2019/06/the-wedding-issue-pride-edition-kevin-keller-and-clay-walker/

Taking this study for use in the Nigerian context can be applied in different ways. In the US, when the laws were restrictive and limiting towards queer content, the creators of comics and graphic novels under mainstream publishers had to operate in line with the laws. The creators could merely represent queer people through subtext. Unambiguous representation was only viewed through underground magazines from the ’60s up to the ’80s. In today’s age, Nigeria still has comparable, if not more regressive laws, but the Internet provides a similar and arguably better platform than the 20th century underground comics did.

The ease of access and ability to self-publish can cut out the publishing middleman, and I can illustrate distribute the stories I want via the Internet and social media platforms. Of course, if I am fortunate to secure a publishing deal for other ideas I have, I can employ subtext to include queer elements. 

I will carry out more research on the best ways to present these proposed comics. Do I go in the explicit and sexually charged direction like Harry Chess and Kake to show a boldness and an unapologetic display of Nigerian queerness? Do I go the route of illustrating average Nigerian queer people to reflect their humanity hopefully to convince prejudiced people that queerness is not an abnormality? Or do I represent queerness in my comics for the Nigerian queer people to identify themselves in the media? These questions relate to the audience I want to reach because they will inform the content I want to create.

References

Bramlett, F., Cook, R. and Meskin, A., 2016, The Routledge Companion To Comics, Taylor & Francis Group.

Chute, H. 2008, "Comics as Literature? Reading Graphic Narrative", PMLA : Publications of the Modern Language Association of America, vol. 123, no. 2, pp. 452-465.

McGurk, C., 2018, Lovers, enemies, and friends: The complex and coded early history of lesbian comic strip characters, Journal of Lesbian Studies, 22:4, 336-353, DOI: 10.1080/10894160.2018.1449502

Murphy, M., 2014, The Lives and Times of Harry Chess, The Gay & Lesbian Review , 21(2): 22– 24.

Pbs.org. 2021. Milestones In The American Gay Rights Movement | American Experience | PBS. [online] Available at: <https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/stonewall-milestones-american-gay-rights-movement/> [Accessed 12 January 2021].

[hitodama3]

The Nie Sect Matriarch

My OC x Nie Mingjue.

Character death but it's Wen Xu so who cares. I don't know if this is graphic or not. I say blood and grey matter but not much else. Be warned anyway.

Please excuse the grammer.

Lan Xichen was pleased for the opportunity to excuse himself from Wen Xu's "company" upon noticing the entrance of the Nie Sect members.

Lan Xichen smiled at the sight of the newly declared Nie Sect Leader and his sworn brother Nie Mingjue. Nie Mingjue's face was drawn into it's habitual scowl his eyes staring resolutely forward before locking with Lan Xichen's. Lan Xichen could guess the new Sect Leader's nerves by how white his knuckles were clutched around the reins.

After all that is why they were here. To have the current chief Cultivator acknowledge the new head of the Nie Sect. Unfortunately the chief cultivator was the much revered and heavily feared sun god, Wen Ruohan. Thankfully this was all a formality and the chief cultivator had no say in who would become the next head.

But that didn't stop him from exercising his power to force them all into his domain, and do his bidding. It was supposedly a feast to honor the new Sect Leader with a tournament to entertain. But everyone here knew what it was really meant for.

Hours had past and tense pleasantries had been exchanged. Bland smiles and subtle politics passed back and forth like candy between children's hands when Lan Xichen remembered the Nie Sect's new matriarch.

It always startled him how little presence the new matriarch had in comparison to their husband. Lan Xichen knew the couple had been matched young. Some kind of coming of age competition the Nie Sect held, but little else. He had never bothered much with them as his sworn brother never spoke of them much just occasionally asking to be reminded to pick something up for them and Nie Huaisang, his little brother, after a night hunt. Nie Mingjue seemed content with the arrangement, and never spoke ill of having an arranged partner no matter how much Lan Xichen and Meng Yao prodded, just a quirk of the lips occasionally and a vague reference to Nie Sect customs.

With the sudden death of Nie Mingjue's parents the betrothed couple had gotten married quickly and with little fuss. Definitely not the marriage most thought would occur for a Sect Leader. No one outside of the Nie had been invited and the cultivation world assumed they would have another public ceremony once matters settled down.

The Nie Matriarch was very beautiful, but in an androgynous way so that the beholder could not tell their gender. Lan Xichen had never heard their name either, Nie Mingjue always referred to them as his betrothed and Nie Huaisang called them by a nickname, so Lan Xichen could not even guess. They faded seamlessly into the background and we're very calm and soft spoken. Though they also would not suffer fools lightly either. Easily taking the reins and directing disciples as needed without raising their voice once. When the Nie Matriarch spoke you listened.

It wouldn't be till the following day that Lan Xichen would get to truly see them when they truly lost their temper, and why they fit so well at the side of Lan Xichen's fierce sworn brother.

Though the Lans rose earlier then most clans, and Lan Xichen had long been awake he still wanted to sigh that it was to early for this.

Wen Xu was once again making a fool of himself running his mouth infront of the new Nie Sect Leaders. Though Lan Xichen had been startled at first to notice the Matriarch as they seemed to blend in with Nie Mingjue's shadow.

Wen Xu was digging into the wound about the open secret that Wen Ruohan was the cause of Nie Mingjue's father's death. Wen Xu was probably trying to goad Nie Mingjue into throwing the first punch so that Wen Xu could punish him for breaking hospitality.

Lan Xichen was stepping forward to try and defuse or divert Wen Xu's attention else where when a Nie Sect token hit Wen Xu squarely in the chest. Wen Xu sputtered before picking it up.

"Thank you for accepting my request to duel. You're disparaging comments upon our honor could no longer be tolerated." The Nie Matriarch stepped smoothly between the two men.

Wen Xu stumbled back still clutching the token flicking his eyes between the Matriarch and the item. Before he could speak they began again, "After all the heir of the Wen Sect would know when they were presented with a token for a duel, and wouldn't just pick it up unknowingly showing a clear lack of education, would they?" Though each word was said calmly the Matriarch's smiled dripped saccharine sweet.

"Of course not.", A voice boomed over the whispering crowd full of thinly veiled menace. "My son is vigorous in his studies and only wanted to start today's tournament off with some excitement. Hence why he accepted your duel. Though it is a bit early to begin, though I am a magnanimous host, and would be willing to start monetarily. You just didn't allow me to explain the rules. To avoid permanent injury all participants will wear qi sealing cuffs, and the first to draw blood will be the winner. I'm sure the Nie Matriarch will be accommodating since they were so eager to fight?" At this Wen Ruohan paused staring straight into the Matriarch's eyes a smile plastered on his face but only emptiness behind his eyes.

The Matriarch nodded without issue as Wen disciples stepped forward placing the cuffs on their wrists. "Your son has been quite rude and ignored propriety. If I wished to make this duel a duel to the death---What do your rules say about that?" The Matriarch's voice was still perfectly even, but was cold as steel.

Wen Ruohan's face didn't even twitch at the outright threat. "The winner will be called after first blood is drawn." Here he paused smile pulling at the edges to become closer to a smirk. "Regardless of what the injury maybe." The threat was clear.

Especially when both combatants stepped onto the platform that had been prepared for the tournament, Lan Xichen saw Wen Xu's qi suppressing handcuffs spark before deactivating allowing him the full use of his qi in a match against the sealed Matriarch.

Lan Xichen turned to Nie Mingjue to warn him that they intended to cripple or maim his marriage partner, but Nie Mingjue was already looking at him before slowing shaking his head and turn back towards the ring.

Wen Ruohan settled into his throne, relaxing into a sprawl showing his inattention and confidence, high above the platform to act as "mediator" and solemnly called, "Begin."

Wen Xu puffed out his chest pointing his sword towards the Matriarch, "If you apologize now I'll only scar that pretty face of yours! Accidents happen all the time in competitions we'd hate if you got run threw before first blood could be called!"

The Matriarch pulled out a fan, one Lan Xichen knew had been gifted by Nie Huaisang, and settled into a fighting stance fan pointed towards Wen Xu. "If the Wen Sect has such "training" accidents often they must have terrible teachers. The Nie Sect would be willing to provide pointers if you are having such troubles."

Wen Xu's face twisted in rage before charging them, visible qi infusing his sword. Nie Mingjue grabbed Lan Xichen's arm when he tried to move forward towards the ring.

The angry sound of metal tearing through metal made the nearby observers flinch back as Wen Xu's sword tore through the apparently 'metal' fan. But the Matriarch only needed for the stupid boy to get close...

The sword now immobilized within the fan was used as leverage to yank him further forward and towards the Matriarch's grasping hand. The Matriarch seemed to unfurl becoming larger though they truly gained no height only presence. Lan Xichen never really noticed but they always thought the Matriarch was smaller then him.

The Matriarch towered over Wen Xu easily as tall or taller than Nie Mingjue. Hand clasped firmly around the flailing boy's face as he was dragged kicking into the air with only one of the Matriarch's hands.

Wen Xu dropped his sword desperately yanking at the hand as it tightened around his face shivering as blood lust filled the arena strong enough to drive many to their knees. He thinks he heard his father attempt to call the match, but was rebuked by the monster in front of him.

"Didn't you say the match would not be called until first blood was drawn, regardless of how bad the injury." The voice was still as cool and calm as it had been earlier when they'd challenged him to a duel, but he couldn't breath past the blood lust filling his lungs and looking into eyes with pupils the size of pin pricks staring unblinkingly into his. Wen Xu's head was screaming in agony and fingers tightened around his temples. His ears wear starting to buzz he couldn't hear anything anymore. What was going...?

'Crack'

With a resounding crack Wen Xu's skull shattered under the force of the Matriarch's fingers the body unattached now falling limply to the tournament's platform blood and grey matter spilling everywhere.

The Matriarch turned calmly towards Wen Ruohan flicking their fingers in an attempt to clear them of gore. "I believe you can call first blood now. I'll be retiring to my room after this to rest after all this excitement. Of course," They paused for a moment, "only after your disciples release me from the qi blocking cuffs."

That's right! Lan Xichen's eyes widened in both horror and awe. The Matriarch had functioning qi suppressing cuffs on and had just shattered a man's skull with only their fingertips. He turned towards his sworn brother to observe the unholy amusement and arousal in Nie Mingjue's eyes. Lan Xichen could see why the calm Matriarch worked so well with his angry sworn brother. He would need to be more watchful of any Nie Sect traditions.