#also everyone in my house freaks out when they see more than 3 tabs open
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nikoisme · 1 year ago
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The ":D" is why I force myself to not go over 99 tabs open, because once the number turns to ":D"... There's no way I would be able to properly keep track of all my open tabs and the number would also probably get very outrageous very quickly
But while it's ranging 89-99, I know where's what and have it in quick access, when I need it
Okay, it's a tiny bit of a lie, because I do occasionally realise that there's a couple tabs I forgot about and no longer need, but overall there is a structure and I'm aware of what most of the tabs are, what tab groups they're in and in what order
":D" is a reminder from chrome to not overestimate your memory and your sanity XD
I actually have no idea what most of my tabs are. A lot of random google searches that didn't require me to open a new tag, but alas clicking on the search bar and deleting the current search is way too big of an effort for me. Unfortunately, i parted from the :D pretty recently
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I'm going to miss it. But something tells me i'll be seeing it again pretty quickly
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soupbabe · 3 years ago
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Could I get the Bucci gang and Diavolo with a ghost sibling? (like the one you did with Dio and the Crusaders) I really appreciate your writing and you've inspired me to try to write my own reader stories sometime!
Ghost Sibling HCs: Bucci Gang Edition! (+ Diavolo)
Oh my god that's so nice of you to say!! I think it's so cool that I actually inspired someone!! Ily so much anon!! <3 My only impression of Diavolo just has been his fight w Bruno, so I just wiki'd everything for him. So I apologise if he's not entirely in character!! Also, I genuinely had nothing for Abbacchio so he's not in this one. I really hope you don't mind
Warnings!: Goes into how reader died, Spoilers for Part 5, and Mentions of abuse from Giorno's part! Please stay safe !
Bruno Bucciarati
You were an older sibling of Bruno and you also stuck around with your father when the divorce came along
You commonly worked along with your father and ended up getting murdered when the gangsters infiltrated the boat
While your father was able to survive, you died at the scene. Your soul set to haunt the surrounding dock
Although it was tricky trying to see you due to the lingering fear of potential gangsters, Bruno always managed to find a way to visit you
It was hard for the younger Bucciarati, he cared about you as much as he did his father
Almost every visit was paired with a somber undertone, no matter how normal you tried to make it
But you were proud of Bruno and the man he's become today and you two still keep in touch
I do believe that as he gets older, he'd look at this place with a bit more fondness. Replacing the tragic memory of you and your father with all the times you tried to be there for him
When he became Capo, Bruno made certain to keep tabs on the small fishing village, making sure your resting place is in pristine condition
He's well aware that you might not get to pass on and he just wants to do what can to get you the best
Giorno Giovanna
You were Giorno's older step-sibling, having there be a 5-8 year age difference between the two of you
You were well aware of your father's abuse and did what you could to protect your little brother
Of course, your father didn't take too kindly to your behavior and it only made your punishments worse
One night, your father took out most of his anger onto you and it ended up killing you
Your soul latched onto Giorno, wanting to keep on protecting him even in death
You were there for him through everything and you were happy that he was able to find better family through the gang
And even in the gang, you were able to find your own peace in a way
(mostly) everyone welcomed you with open arms and it was a nice change of pace from talking to only Giorno for the past 10 or so years
Pannacotta Fugo
You were an older sibling, praised by your parents and used as an example for Fugo to follow
He never really resented you because of it though. You were helpful when he had the toughest lessons and treated him with the care that your parents never gave
I can imagine Fugo accidentally killing you during one of his rages, you got too close and he lashed out at you
As if he wasn't freaked out and panicked over your murder, seeing your ghost wasn't any better
He ignored any note of your presence, leaving it up to some hallucination rather than a ghost of all things
It took him a while to actually accept the fact that you're still with him and it was really awkward for a while
It made his guilt about the situation worse tbh, like it's been too long that he can't really apologize for what he did to you
And I don't imagine you being too happy either. Spending your eternity with your murderer and have him deny your existence for a couple of months does hurt
It's just one of those cases where your relationship couldn't be repaired after death, leaving you both to spend each other's company with an awkward weight on each other's shoulders
Both of you were never well taught in emotions so trying to cope with something as strange as this is not likely.
Narancia Ghirga
You were Narancia's twin sibling
you were just as loyal as him so you didn't bat an eye when he proposed that you both take Polpo's test
It's not like he would do it without you anyways, you two were a package deal
What he didn't take in account was you not surviving the stand arrow
It really did break Narancia seeing you dead and then seeing your ghost, looking like nothing happened
I feel like you haunting him furthers his denial of your actual death. That it doesn't actually matter since you're still next to him and able to laugh like nothing happened
It would be a combination of you and Bucciarati to help him with his grief, but he was still joyful to have you around
Even though you couldn't interact much with the physical world, he still invited you to his math lessons with Fugo and treated you as a valid member of the gang
Guido Mista
You were Mista's younger sibling that haunted his apartment
He'll admit that it was a bit freaky dealing with you at first, but he managed to adapt to it pretty quickly
He was able to live his usual carefree lifestyle, the added money from being apart of Passione was used for making the house a bit more comfortable
He felt bad that you couldn't leave and tried to make it more bearable
Plus he did it as an apology for all the times you cleaned up the pigsty that is his room
He also enjoyed that you were also free home security
He's made a couple of enemies in his time and having someone who can't be injured through typical means was helpful
He always enjoyed the occasional stories you told of the intruder's terrified faces at the fact that their guns and knives had no effect on you
But even if you were already dead, he'd ask for the faces of the idiots who disrespected and tried to kill to you.
Just because you're dead doesn't change the fact that you were still his family and he needed to teach those losers a lesson when you can't do it yourself.
Diavolo
Oh my god I'm so sorry for you
Listen, this man was not above attempted murder of his own daughter to hide his identity. You would've been one of his first targets
When he'd see that you never actually died, he would use whatever he had in his arsenal to get rid of you
But of course nothing worked, having to come to terms that you were a ghost
I don't think this could make his paranoia worse because technically you are gone and you can't go outside without him/Doppio, it's just a great inconvenience
He usually acts like you don't exist, yelling at you if you were to interact with the mafia boss
To Doppio you were only known to be a close friend of the boss and nothing else
He would happily chat with you, blissfully unaware that he was talking to a corpse
I think being anywhere near Diavolo in this state is a fate worst than death
Being around such a dark and negative energy already isn't good for the living, imagine how the dead feels
Plus not to mention the rough period of occasional murder attempts, all in new ways for Diavolo to get you gone for once and for all
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artemiseamoon · 4 years ago
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Sin
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Narcos Mx AU | Miguel x Female reader  | Female reader x Pacho *
Chapter 1 of 5 | revised 10/24/22 | words: 3,667
Summary: You were Miguel's ex-mistress, he insists you come to his birthday party and the night takes an interesting turn.
All chapters / fic index | read on A03
NSFW Adult 18 + only | gifs credit to owners
Warnings: Sex, cursing, unprotected sex (wrap it up ya’ll and be safe), multiple partners, neck grabbing, ass slapping  
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* Pacho is bi in this AU.
Read as an OC if you prefer, Fox is one of her nicknames
Author note: Just a dirty ass one shot because my depression is sneaking back and this makes me feel better. I don’t know how my week of fluff turned into this. (Love how this went from oneshot to fic 😂)
PLUS: as always i do not condone the actions of the real life persons. This is just fanfics based off the show and the handsome actors.
Updates go to A03 after chapter 3, previews post on tumblr
Don’t like this? Don’t read it. I don’t need anyone’s complains or whining.
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Tonight, represents more than Miguels 40th birthday party. It represents his status at the top, his success; the physical manifestation of every move he's ever made until now. Good or bad, out of need, desire, or spite. It all got him here.
Tonight, also marks two months since you fell out with Miguel, and the end of your affair. You hadn’t seen him since, but you knew he was keeping tabs on you. Miguel is a possessive ex. He didn't let things go.
Miguel never begged for anything, never had to, never would. But he had his little ways of convincing people to say yes, and though you knew better, and you knew all his little tricks, he still got you to say yes. In the back of your mind, you figured if you declined, he'd send someone to come get you anyway, it's just the way Miguel is.
The last time you saw Miguel, he had Azul escort you to his office. It went as expected, you yelled and screamed at each other followed by Miguel fucking you against his desk. Once you came you slapped him, got dressed, then left. To be fair, you did desire him, it just didn't take away the anger and rage you felt for the man. That was two months ago.
Now, here you are at his over-the-top birthday party. It started 30 minutes ago; everyone's having a good time. The guest of honor is a no show. You imagined him in your mind, the lonely King, deep within the walls of his castle smoking in the shadows and contemplating his next moves. All the while his guest ask about him and seek him out, for a multitude of reasons; personal, political, business.
But not you. You haven't asked about him at all and don't plan to. You busied yourself with your date. He wasn't anyone important, just some hot guy you hooked up with a few times. Miguel isn't the only one who's spiteful, you know the moment he sees your date, and your dress, he's going to freak.
The anticipation of pissing him off, of seeing the look on his face, is almost too much for your body to contain. You can't stay still for too long and hit the dance floor to work off some of your energy.
When the birthday boy finally appears, it takes him no time to notice you and your date. The way he looked at you from across the room, his young new wife at his side, was enough to stab daggers into your soul. Your date may or may not end up dead by the end of the night; this is Miguel after all. Still, you danced up on him. Kissing on him. Absolutely making Miguel crazy.
It works.
Miguel makes a line for you. He hooks his arm around your waist, “Come with me.”  
He doesn't even look at your date or acknowledge him. But your dates not stupid, he knows who this is, and even thought his ego is wounded, and he would likely never call you again, he lets Miguel take you with him.
Miguel was tense and quiet as he leads you into the house, the whole time keeping his hands on you, like if he lets you go for one second, you'll slip away. He only stopped when you reached a long dark hallway. He pushed the door open and led the way inside. You barely had time to make out what the room was before he pressed into you, backing you into a wall, his eyes dark with jealousy.
“You think you're clever?”
“You're drunk Miguel,” you dismiss him, knowing it will upset him more. You pushed against his chest, but he holds you in place, “what?!”
“Who is that?”
“Why do you care? I’m sure this party is full of your conquests.”
Miguel just stared at you, his eyes darkening even more. You see his jaw clench, then he dropped his head slightly, his eyes moving over your bare shoulders. He grabbed the strap of your dress and snapped it back in place.
“Does he know I bought this dress with all the money I made us?”
“Correction,” you tilt your head to meet his line of sight, "I purchased this dress! Get over it.”
You pushed him off of you with force, then started to walk away. Miguel grabbed your forearm, whipping you back into place against the wall. This time, he crowds you even more, using his own body as a block.
Miguels eyes clouded with lust as he takes you in. He grips your neck with his right hand and holds your hip with his left. Your eyes fell to his lips as they parted slightly, you have him right where you want him. Using only his eyes, Miguel devours you like a man in need of a meal.
“When I’m finished with you, you’ll forget all about your date.” He growled.
You challenge him. "Yeah, doubt it."
Miguel wastes no time hiking your dress up over your hips. He uses his knee to part your thighs and kisses you with so much passion, so much desire you nearly lose your balance. There's no time to think, to stop yourself. Everything happens in a fevered pace and Miguel fucks you hard and fast against the wall. When that position became too trying, you moved over to the couch.
Miguel was rough, possessive, ravenous. Something about fucking him this time feels more dangerous than the other times. Like he's a demon trying to fuck your soul away, to sign you over to him forever. In the back of your mind, you wondered, no matter how fucking good this feels, if Miguel's possessive behavior will be much worst.
While he fucked you, even used his belt to tie your wrist together. You knew, if he could, he'd have you all night long, but he made the best with the time he had and took you in every way he could.
When you were close to coming, he pulled out, teasing you, waiting for you to beg for more until he gave it to you. In the aftermath of your lust, you laid there, catching your breath, seeing stars, unable to move. It was only when a knock came at the door did you both rise, it was Azul.
Miguel covered your naked body with a blanket and went to the door, only opening it slightly. You overheard what was said, the infamous Pacho Herrera was on his way.
Taking some time to clean yourself up, you make it back to the party. From a distance you see a girl flirting with your date, and if anything, you feel happy for him. You are more than aware you have a big 'do not touch' sign on you now, and honestly, you kind of like it. You also revel in Miguels boldness, to sweep you away like that, at this party full of people and watchful eyes, with his wife right outside. Bold.
You get another drink at the bar then head over to some associates. As all of you chat, your mind focuses on one thing: Pacho.  You'd be lying if you said you weren't excited to see the legend up close, in the flesh, for a second time.
The first time you saw Pacho was at a meeting, Miguel took you with him, at the suggestion of someone else. They said you'd be a pleasant sight for the Cali Cartel, and it wouldn't hurt having you there. Miguel took the advice, and that was the first time you saw Pacho in person.
The whole meeting you couldn't think straight. Pacho was sexy as hell and every time his eyes landed on yours you nearly came right here. The man has serious vibes and if you had the chance to sleep with him, you would. Even if it only ever happened once, that's good enough for you.
You left that meeting thinking you'd never see Pacho again. Now, knowing you will, fills with a great sense of excitement.
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When Pacho arrived, near the end of the band singing happy birthday to Miguel, it took your breath away. Your eyes were locked on him, and you were far from the only one watching him. He took his time, walked at a slow yet purpose filled pace. Once he and Miguel walked off together, you devised a plan.
You know this property like the back of your hand, Miguels had you over enough times you could draw a map. Using your knowledge, you make your way to the small church, unseen, hiding in the shadows. You carry your heels in your hand, careful to be as quiet as possible. When you reached the church, you tried to eavesdrop but were quickly intercepted by Azul.
"Just going for a walk, too many people at the party." You flash a big smile at him and act drunk.
Azul lets it go, and nods.
You walk in the other direction and head back to the water fountain. On the walk, you think of another way to cross paths with Pacho. You cannot waste this opportunity, even with the risks involved.
Years ago, you gained the nickname Fox, and it wasn't without reason. You would find a way to catch Pacho's' eye. You heard Pacho is bisexual and knowing that put all kinds of ideas in your head, knowing you had a chance changed everything. It also changed your perspective on the day you met. Part of you was convinced he was looking at you with desire in his eyes. Part of you thought you were making it up, so you just chalked it up to wishful thinking.
You didn't know much about the man, even with a reputation, there was still so much about him that was a mystery. Still, he seems like the type to know all about everyone else. Part of you wondered, if he knew about you. Was he ever curious about you?
As your mind continues to wander, you make your way back to the church, this time out of Azul's line of sight. You think about how fucking Pacho could be the biggest fuck-you to Miguel. You weren't a bad person, and normally not so vengeful, but Miguel is a damn vampire and he hurt you many times over.
He's able to pull out the villain in you, in a way no one else could.  Anything you give him, he has coming. Even with all the tenderness of your past together, but that died out a long time ago. You try to not think about that part too much.
The doors of the church finally opened, then closed. Pacho exits first, cocky and sexy as all hell. Miguel is still inside. You can tell whatever happened in the church went in Pacho's favor.
You take a moment to scope the landscape, then make a b line for Pacho's car. You noticed it was parked away from all the other guests, and it would make it easier for you to act on your plan. When you got there, you encountered the strange yet curious Navegante.
At the sight of you, he stopped leaning on the car and walked over to you. He stepped into your personal space with a weird little smile on his face.  You wait for him to speak, he doesn't, not right away.
“Did you see the tiger? I touched it.”
You don't know whether you want to laugh, or back away. And he sure looks proud of this little fact.  
You start to respond, “I -”
Before you could get the rest of your words out, Pacho appears.
Though you've seen him before, this feels like the first time all over again. You feel your heartbeat faster and your pulse quicken the moment his eyes fall on you. And when he speaks your name, you hold your breath. You've heard your name all your life, but from his lips, from his lips it feels like the most seductive thing you've ever heard.
You smile, "you remembered."  Your eyes lock on his.
He motions to the car with a small hand gesture, “What do you think you’re doing?”
You can see in his face; he sees through your innocent act. Of course he does.
“I wanted to see you up-close, too many people back there. Last time, we were in a room full of people too.” You replied confidently.
He smirks, looks at Navegante then back at you. “You’re a sneaky little thing.”
“You have no idea.”
Something flashes in his brown eyes you can't name or describe. Whatever it is, it takes your breath away. You unconsciously raise your hand to your chest and fiddle with your necklace.
Pacho slides his hands in his pockets and looks your over. Then signals to Navegante who gets in the driver's seat. You hold your breath and watch as Pacho walks over to the passenger side. Just as he's about to get in, he says, "get in."
Your heart is pounding even faster now. Would you really fuck Miguel and Pacho in the same night? Could you be that much of a sinner? Was that even possible?
You open the back door and hop in fast before anyone sees. The car speeds off into the night.
The hotel is nice. His room is a deluxe suit with two floors, large enough for a group. You haven't seen the upstairs yet.
The car ride over was quiet, strange, a thick electricity in the air. Back at the hotel, you sit in the living room area, a drink in your hand, trying to anticipate what's going to happen next. Your nervousness building by the second.
Pacho still doesn't say much, he watches you, like an animal stalking its prey. He's cool, calm, in control. He doesn't do anything in a rushed way, not even when he made your drink. He took his time and observing him was - exciting. This man exudes controlled, confident dominance in every single thing he does.
Oddly enough, in this period of waiting, you had more conversation with Navegante. Unsurprisingly, he was talking about weird shit, random stuff, but you actually found it amusing. At one point, Pacho left you with Navegante, as he went upstairs to the upper level. You were starting to wonder if this was a bad idea, then, he called for you.
You're hyper aware of every step you take, as you reach the second-floor landing and step into the room. There's a lounge area with a long couch, then a small hallway you assume leads to the second bathroom and the bedroom. There's a second bar up here, a smaller one. Pacho is making daiquiris in a white robe. His beautiful dark hair was wet.
“Sit.”
He motions to the couch, you do.
He brings the drink over and sits beside you. Same as the first drink, he watched you quietly as you tasted it. Once he's pleased with your reaction, he stands again.
“What was your goal, seeking me out?”
You bite your lip, feeling nervous as hell. Now that you're completely alone with him, your courage was starting to fade.
“I traveled a long way, don’t act shy now."
You place the drink down on the side table and sit up straighter. “I thought about you for months, since the first time I saw you. Is it a sin to be - curious?”
Pacho does that little thing with his nose, the thing you saw back at the meeting months ago and thought it was cute as hell. As the seconds pass without his response, you start to wonder what he’s thinking.
You didn't have to wait too long. Pacho sits beside you, his body feeling warm and setting all your sense on fire. He leans in, eyes locked on yours, “Stand-up” he points to the space before him.
You do as he commands.
Pacho reclined back, sipping his drink as he takes you in. “Strip. Slowly.”
Your heart skips a beat.
You do as he commands.
Taking your time, you strip off the tight black dress that Miguel’s money did indeed pay for. You could have used your own, but you were saving your money and mostly splurged with his. Something about that thought alone was adding to your arousal. Stripping in front of Pacho's' penetrative gaze in a dress bought for you with Miguel money? It's scandalous.
Standing naked before him, you feel the most vulnerable you've ever felt, the most - seen. Something about the way Pacho looks at you is unmatched. Your desire for him burns red and hot, your body craving his touch, his lips, more of his commands.
Pacho, maintaining his relaxed position, draws you closer to him with a single finger.
With a few steps, you close the distance between your bodies. Without breaking eye contact, Pacho unties his robe.
Dropping to your knees like some common whore you wait eagerly to take him in, to welcome him with your mouth and indulge in one part of your numerous Pacho fantasies.
Your wish is soon met. He fills your mouth; you take him in with pleasure. When you deep throat him the sound he makes nearly sends you to heaven. Fuck, you just made Pacho make that sound. You pull out all the stops, casting your spell on the man you couldn't stop thinking about for months. Finally, when Pacho can’t take it anymore he pulls you away by your hair and guides you to the bed toward the back of the massive suite
“On your back, knees up.”
Eager, you do so quickly, getting in place on the bed and gazing at him with flirty eyes.  He takes his time walking over to you. Once he climbs on the bed, his body hovers over your own, you can feel his arousal pressing into you.
The bastard teases you.
Ghosting his lips over your, but not kissing you. Pulling your head back when you try to kiss him. Using his lips and tongues to leave a trail of kisses down your body and in-between your legs. He continues to explore your body, in any way he sees fit, his mouth, tongue and fingers all working masterfully, driving you over the edge.
Each time you get too close to coming, he stops, making you wait, enjoying the way you whine for him. You quickly learn your lesson and behave; you stop trying to kiss him and try to control your body.
Once Pacho deems you obedient and patient, he finally slides his cock inside of you. With all the teasing, he's worked you up nicely, you take all of him with ease, he stretches you more than anyone else has, filling you deliciously. His strong-arm wraps around your body to hold you in place as he bottoms out in you.
You nearly come then and there, and when he finally kisses you; any sense of time or space disappears. Pacho fucks you hard, so deep, leaving you dazed and breathless as he continues his lust filled stokes, the whole time he holds you in a vice like grip. Kissing you so deeply, so passionately, you forget anyone who's ever kissed you before.
He maintains control the entire time, the intensity never letting up, even when you change positions. At certain points, you're sure you've broken skin, digging your nails deep into his back, his arms, his thighs - you've become utterly intoxicated by Pacho.
Finally, when you can't take anymore, dancing on the edge of release, Pacho pulls out completely. He makes you lay flat on your stomach. You know better than to beg for him.
Pacho sits back, strocking himself and catching his breath. You can feel his eyes burning into you. Just as silence falls in the room, his hand come down hard to slap your ass, leaving a burning sensation, he slaps the other cheek. You grab the pillows beneath your head.
“Should I let you come?”
“Yes, please.”
“I don't know if you deserve it,” he slaps your ass again.
“Please.” You begged.
His big strong hands come to your hips, fingers digging into you as he pulls your ass up in the air. He frees one hand, placing it flat on your back, keeping you in position.
He adjusts behind you, getting comfortable and lining himself up with your entrance. Without warning, he slams into you, knocking you off balance. He holds you in place and finds his rhythm again. You didn't even recognize the sounds leaving your lips as he fucks you, sounds you never made before.
Then sweet release comes.
The room spins and you're not sure if you're actually going to pass out or not. Your vision fades as pleasure explodes in your body. Pacho comes, your name soft on his lips as he does.
Once he pulls out, Pacho rolls onto his back, closing his eyes to catch his breath. You look at him, still on your stomach, his hair in his face, lips parted. This man is fucking beautiful.
When his dark eyes find yours, he shifts ever so slightly and cups your face, pulling you close to him. His lips, his beautiful lips you've started at more than once, now roll over yours. Moving his hand to the back of your head, Pacho grips tight, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth before claiming your lips again.
Kissing him is dizzying. You kiss until your lips are swollen and slick. He draws back, keeping eye contact with you as he caresses the length of your neck.
A smile draws on his lips as he lays on his back,
“What's that look?” You asked.
“You look tired, don’t fall asleep on me now. I have plans for you -” when his eyes meet yours again a sense of excitement and slight worry overcomes you. Whatever else Pacho had in mind, you were definitely not getting any sleep tonight.
“Ch 2 | Ch 3  | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6
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soliverse · 4 years ago
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SAY YOU LOVE ME - PART 4
rockstar!taeyongxjournalist!reader
genre: angst, suggestive, romance
warnings:  mentions of emotional abuse and manipulation, panic attacks, stalker behavior, and cussing
1 ⭒ 2 ⭒ 3 ⭒ 4 ⭒ 5 ⭒ finale pt 1
Length: 3k
ps:  if you are not comfortable with that sort of stuff, I will insert a warning within the story so you can skip it.
Also: the story is fictional and is no way related to NCT and its brand, especially Yuta. These are all a part of my imagination and I felt like it was needed to push the story further. Again, happy reading! - Ellie
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The boys of 1:27 made a detour on a small BBQ shop on their way home to celebrate their successful performance for that night. Charlie promised them that she’ll pay for dinner and so they are stopped at the BBQ shack that they passed by on their way home. Everyone excitedly stepped out from the minivan with their arms around each other.
At this time of the night, they were the only ones inside the place. They took it as a go signal to be loud and did as they please. On a respectable manner, of course.
On one side, Johnny was filming a vlog with Mark and Doyoung. They talked about how they had fun at the performance and they wished that they can do more stuff like that in the future. Meanwhile, Taeyong helped Charlie decide what and how much to order.  
The pair came out alongside the staff to help them in carrying their massive order. They brought out about five trays of barbeque and side dishes which almost didn’t fit the small rectangular table that they have. They thank the staff for their troubles and started gobbling marinated meat right away.
The staff then came out with another tray. This time, it was filled by glasses containing amber-tinted liquid.
The boys cheered as Charlie went around the table and gave each one a glass. Mark was the first one that was handed the drink and so he took a sip right away. He then started laughing uncontrollably as he takes a sip once again from the glass.
“Dude, it’s apple juice.”
Charlie went back to her seat smiling smugly.
“Of course, it’s apple juice. I’m not going to baby your drunk asses off when we get home.”
The table went quiet, filling the room with sounds of chewing and utensils clanking over plates. Doyoung tried to lighten the mood up and started sharing stories about the miniconcert that they were invited in. They also got along well with the other performers and started taking pictures with them as well.
Charlie whipped out her phone and showed everybody pictures and videos that she captured while they are performing. They can all hear the cheers and screams coming from the videos. The loudest was definitely Charlie. Everyone was excitedly jumping up and down and singing their song with them. They got all hot and sweaty from the humid weather and moving around the stage. That didn’t stop them from interacting and hyping up the audience. She even argued that it made them even more appealing, especially to the young ladies watching. Some of them even tried to get the boys’ number but they all politely declined and just settled for selfies instead.
They also played games that night which resorted to Mark paying almost half the bill as they left. The guys thanked the owners for not kicking them out for being so noisy and promised that they’ll be back to eat there again. They hopped inside one by one and passed out as soon as their bodies touched the seats.
Taeyong stayed up for a bit and waited until everyone was asleep. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and leaned on the glass window, making a tired peace sign. He sent you the pic and typed a message right after.
Taeyong: We did well today. I’m almost home. Missed u.
  His thumb hovered over the send button for a while. He cringed at the last sentence and erased it before sending it to you and popped in his eyemask and headphones to sleep.
///
“Any more questions about your assignments for this month?”
Everyone remained quiet and just shook their heads in response. The team meeting took longer than expected and it is already past lunch time. You were impatiently scribbling on the notes that you took earlier. A little trick that you do so you will look like you’re busy doing something productive. Your thoughts are now clouded by hunger and boredom and and you kept looking at the clock ticking. You are silently praying that no one will ask a question and extend the meeting any further.
“Okay then.”
The supervisor, an old guy in his early fifties, finally closes the presentation and started closing the tabs in his windows. He shut the laptop down and slammed it close.
“We’ll see each other again same time next month. Remember to stick to your deadlines.”
Finally.
The room rattled as everyone tries to pack up their stuff and get out as fast as they can. You stood up from your chair. You did a bunch of weird poses to stretch your aching body from sitting down too long as you waited for the crown to dissipate before walking away from the room.
You grabbed your handbag from beside you and dug through tons of your unorganized stuff before you were finally to fish your phone out to do a time check. Instead, you were met by tons of photos and videos sent by Charlie that morning. They were mostly pictures of them rehearsing and goofing around the area. A slight curved on your lips as saved all of them in your phone and made your way into the breakroom.
Things are going well for the past couple of weeks. You and Taeyong barely talked before the event because he was busy practicing but at least you can finally look him in the eyes. Greetings are also once again exchanged, you even sent him off on their way to the event. With that out of the way, you’re finally able to catch up on to your prior commitments and saved yourself from being fired that week.
You bolted to the breakroom because you can now hear your stomach complaining. You politely bowed at everyone inside and snaked your way through a bunch of your coworkers. Today’s hot topic was them complaining about how long the meeting was and that Mr. Supervisor purposely stretched the meeting out because he wanted to spite all of you. None of that mattered to you though. The croquette that you made last night for lunch was the only thing on your mind. Upon reaching the fridge of the tiny breakroom, you microwaved your lunch for a few seconds before to your cubicle to eat in peace.
You greeted the one sitting beside you before you took a seat. The stacks of folders and papers were set aside to make way for your lunch bag. You carefully took the contents and dived right in to calm down your growling stomach. At the same time, you decided to pop in an earphone and listened to some of 1:27 recordings while eating. A ding! interrupted the music so you absent-mindedly opened the messages without seeing who it’s from.
Abby: Hey boo.
  The text intrigued you. She wasn’t the type to text someone unless it’s an emergency.
  You: Oh hey. What’s up?”
Abby: Don’t freak out, okay?
Abby: I think I saw Yuta in the mall today.
You felt a lump on your throat, and it wasn’t your lunch. You felt as if someone threw a bucket of iced water at you. You’ve set your lunch down and immediately pressed reply.
You: You sure it’s him?
You: Guy might be visiting his sis. I’m sure it’s nothing.
Abby: You sure?
Abby: Would you like to stay at our place for a while? I’m sure big bro wouldn’t mind.
As much as you wanted to stay over at anyone’s house for tonight, the Li household wasn’t the best option either. The last time you slept over, he glared at you whenever you tried moving anything in the house by a small fraction.
This might be an overstatement but the only thing scarier than Yuta is judgmental Li Yongqin.
You: Yeah, it’s probably nothing. Don’t worry about me.
Abby: Just in case something happens, you have my number okay? Be safe.
You dropped your phone at your desk and you felt your body getting colder and your breaths getting shorter once again. Eating lunch didn’t feel right anymore so you placed the lid back on and slipped it back, exchanging it with the water bottle. You drank half of its content and took deep, long breathes to slow down your racing heart for a bit. You dizzily bobbed your head down and rested your head on your folded arms. People asked if you were okay but you just smiled weakly and insisted that you’ll just sit the day out until office hours was over
As the day ended, Abigail Li picked you up from work that day. She insisted that if you’re not staying over at their house, the least thing that she can do was to make sure that you get home safely.
“Are you sure that you don’t want to stay over? I’ll lock Yongqin in my closet upstairs if it makes you feel any better.” Abby knew what her brother did last time and she made Ten apologize for the glaring at her. He did some half-hearted apology before glaring one last time and shutting himself back to his room.
“Relax. I’ll be fine. It’s been years since we’ve last seen each other. He probably moved on already.”
A sigh left her mouth.
“Fine. Don’t forget to lock everything when you sleep, aight?”
///
The first thing you did as soon as you got home was to lock everything just like what Abby said. You said that you’ll be fine to assure Abby, but you know you couldn’t be too sure about Yuta. First thing you did was grab a few chips and a can of cat food for Felice. The bedroom was the most secure part of the house so you decided that the best thing to do was to camp in there until the morning comes.
You held Felice close and stroke her soft fur to calm yourself down. She had become your most loyal companion on your path to recovery when you shut yourself from everyone else. She snuggles into your chest and purred lightly, probably sensing your uneasiness.
You used all your willpower to sleep that night but your mind was restless. Even after you stuffed yourself full, drank room temperature milk and fiddled on some fancam videos, you just couldn’t your mind off of Nakamoto Yuta.
The last time that you saw him was when you were crying nonstop at the police station as Abby and Sophie held you in.
Everything played out in your head like a film in cinema.
Na Yuta.
Awesome performer.
Awful person.
(This part may be a trigger to some readers so if you wouldn’t be comfortable reading this, skip to the next ///)
Everyone knew that he’s a player. That’s the first thing that he told you when you met him. It made him look dangerous, something you just need in order to spice out your cookie cutter life. Your parents just went into divorce and your life was going downhill.
He’s just a perfect distraction.
It went well at first, you became his muse. He’d shower you with love and gifts. He made you feel things that you never felt before. That didn’t last very long though.
Not even a year later, fights became a common occurrence. You finally understood how someone can love and hate a person at the same time. As soon as you realized the kind of guy that he is, you couldn’t get out. You made excuses after excuses and still waited for the time that he will change.
He’d go on tours and you would hear stories about him being seen with other women. Plural. Witnesses gave you a different description at every story that you believed it was ridiculous. It’s probably a colleague. Or it was fan and hew was just doing a bit of fanservice. That’s what you believed because that’s what he’d tell you every time you would confront him about it.
At the few times that you did caught him, he’d lie blatantly as if he didn’t just get caught. You couldn’t also count the times that he’d turn the table around and find some guy to link you with. It tricked you into believing that it was your fault that he did it. That he regrets being with you.
You couldn’t also fathom that you cried yourself to sleep because of him. He wouldn’t respond at parties and it would take him days before responding. He made you feel that you are never good enough for him, damaging your self-esteem and confidence in the process. And then he would go full circle and be over the top with surprises and gifts. He starts to go all soft on you and made you weak against his touch and kisses. It’s reminder that only him can make you feel that good, even if he’s also the one who caused you pain.
You also turned your back against everyone. Nobody could contact you for months. It was mostly you, trying to keep your ego intact. You can already hear them mocking you and will remind you that they told you so. He also convinced you that nobody else will love you like he did. The absence of your friends and family made you lonely. It was like they didn’t even miss your presence. And so you clung unto him more.
But everyone has their breaking point. At that point, you’re numbed out. You didn’t even cry as you saw him bringing someone into your own home. It was the wakeup call that you needed to get away from him. You finally realized that you didn’t deserve to be treated like trash and broke things off with him right then and there.
He didn’t like that one bit. He saw you as his possession and no one can take you away from him easily. Yuta started following you around wherever you’ll go and asked you to talk things out with him. He’ll pop in at your office, at the club where you would drink your troubles away, or at any possible location where he knows that you would see him. He was switching back and forth from begging and reminding you the memories you both had into going full psycho and texting you that you’ll regret ever leaving him.
It made you so paranoid that you just flat out refused to go outside at the fear of meeting him. The girls wanted to do something about your condition, and decided that the best thing to get your mind off of things was to surprise you on your birthday.
They brought your favorite food with them and decorated the party with your favorite colors. It was unexpected and you even apologized to everyone for causing them trouble. The night made happy that night and finally be able to smile for the first time in months. All was going well until everyone decided to go outside and take a group photo. Yuta popped out of nowhere and started dragging you away. You were crying and begging him to let you go but he insisted that he needs to talk to you and it wouldn’t take a while.
All hell broke loose. The guys rushed outside to intervene. Sophie’s then boyfriend (now husband), was a big, strong man and was able to grab him by the collar and beat the living crap out of him right in front of you. The sudden violence made you cry harder than earlier. There was nothing that you can do besides watch as everything go down. Both the police and the paramedics came right after and disturbed the whole neighborhood.
That day was still, hands-down, the most awful day of your life. The memory was so horrifying that your birthday is doomed for life. Nobody ever tried to do something for your birthday again, as per your wishes.
You strike yourself as lucky that you don’t have to go to a psychiatrist or drink meds anymore to sleep. Flashbacks make you shake a little bit, but at least that’s manageable. You cannot say the same thing about meeting Yuta once again.
///
“Here’s your stop. I’m sorry I couldn’t drop you off by Y/N’s apartment. The street was small and it would be difficult to turn the van around.”
“It’s totally fine. Walking won’t hurt me.”
Taeyong grabbed his duffel bag and his guitar from the backseat and steps outside the vehicle. He waved at them goodbye before the van went back to the road. He adjusted the straps of his guitar case and duffel bag so he can carry them both comfortably as he begins to walk towards your place.
It was eerily quiet at that time and something just didn’t feel right. He tried to shake the feeling off and increasing his walking pace. It didn’t take long before he can see the building from a distance.
He didn’t know if he was just imagining things but he could’ve sworn that he saw a dark figure lurking in the darkness surrounding your apartment. He muttered a series of curses made a run for it.
///
Your thoughts were interrupted when you thought you heard footsteps coming from outside your house. You were jolted awake and started going into panic. Your heart pounded so much that you can hear it ringing through your ears. You forced yourself to not mind the sound and convinced yourself that you’re just imagining it.
You felt your heart drop as you heard the front door opening and swung slowly. You can definitely hear footsteps just right outside your door. That’s impossible. You locked every single entrance that night. Mind is getting a bit hazy at this point from hyperventilating. Despite this, you grabbed anything that you can get your hands on and decided to face the intruder head on.
You opened your bedroom door just started wielding the thing you are holding at whoever it is that’s outside. You heard a loud thud at the ground and a guy squirming in place.
“Oh shit.”
You quickly realized who it is and threw the blunt object away, now realizing that it’s a tripod. You kneeled down right in front of him and started panicking again. This time, it’s for a whole other reason.
“Oh my god, Taeyong. Are you okay?”
---
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rantingwriter · 4 years ago
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Body Guard (Levi x Reader)
Day 1
I still don’t fully understand what happened...I was at work at the behavioral hospital, some big dark GMC type car pulls up, and now I’m riding in the backseat getting told I’m actually related to some big shot that’s being threatened and everyone she holds dear is in danger. “Can you please elaborate how someone I’ve never met...holds me dear…?” 
“Your dad was her secret lover when he was working at her company. She has kept tabs on you for years and even sent him money for child support. There, all caught up.” The stoic man with sharp, narrow blue eyes, who also looks really tired, sighs in exasperation. He cards his fingers through his straight black hair and looks at me through the rearview mirror. I am still reeling, I have a mom and dad who are happily married, but now I’ve got a mom who I’ve never met? “Geez, what’s so complicated about this for you?” 
“My current mom is not my mom, my real mom is some bigshot that pissed somebody off that’s more violent than my psychosis patients, and I’m in the back of a fucking car that should only be used for this scenario in movies!” I’m starting to freak out when a voice comes over the radio. 
“Captain, you lack delicacy…” It sounds like a woman, “don’t worry [f/n], you are safe with us.” 
“W-Who are you?” I try to sit forward and look around, a hand pulling me back into my seat. “WhO?!” 
“Please stay seated, that’s just Petra.” Another woman with glasses and her hair up in a ponytail is looming over me. “We’ve got a team ready to protect you and we’ve already taken care of your job since you won’t be able to leave once we get you to our safe house.” 
“Safe house? What about my parents? M-My cats?!” 
“They have been picked up by our second team and taken to a separate location.” The driver sharply turns down a backroad. “We’ll fill you in on everything at the safe house. Just sit still and shut up.” I tried to relax in the backseat, but it was impossible to relax with all this new information careening around in my brain. Before long we roll up to a townhouse and I am led inside. It’s nicer on the inside than it looks on the outside, my stuff is already here too. The driver starts barking orders to the other members of his team, soon enough it was just the two of us standing in the living room. “I sent for dinner, you go wash up.” 
“C-Can I at least get your name?”  
“Levi, I’ll be staying with you in the house. The others will man the outside.” 
“Okay, nice to meet you.” He simply nods and goes to do what I can only assume is his bodyguard duties. I go to get showered up and process my thoughts. It’s way too much to handle all at once. 
Day 3
It’s been a couple of days. I’m still reeling, been crying myself to sleep from fear at night, but overall...I guess I’m okay? “Hey, you look like shit.” 
I jolted at Levi’s sudden comment, “gee thanks…” I wipe at my eyes, they feel puffy and dry. 
He stares at me a long moment, before extending me a cup of coffee. “I know it’s rough the first couple of nights, you’ll adjust.” 
I take the cup and inhale the aroma of coffee, “If you say so…” I take a sip and make a face at how bitter it is. I grab the creamer from the fridge and add some more to the little cup. Levi says nothing, he just watches me as he leans against the counter. I don’t understand why he insists on watching my every move, it’s like he’s studying me or something. I eat some breakfast and go to the living room to play on my laptop. Before I can do anything online, the muscular guy snatches the device. “Hey!” 
“Do not sign into anything, they’ll be able to track you if you do.” He goes through and logs me out of everything I usually use. 
“B-But-”
“No buts, nothing that can be tracked.” He finally hands it back to me and sits in the nearby armchair. I simply sigh and try to enjoy some me time with the stoic statue in the room. 
Day 7
I’m starting to wonder if Levi’s constant staring at me is simply his way of learning about me. He has been making my coffee exactly how I like it without me saying anything. He has been paying attention to what I like to eat. If we weren’t basically living together, I would be super creeped out by his attention to details. It’s honestly really sweet and I think he is growing on me a little. “Hey, [f/n], want to go somewhere?” 
“I thought I couldn’t leave the safe house,” I was putting away my laundry when he came into the room. 
“We can go somewhere so long as it’s visible for the team and not super crowded.” 
“What’s even in this area?” 
“Some restaurants, a park, we might be able to swing a movie theater, and one of those animal cafes.” He doesn’t sound very excited about any of the options. 
“I’d like to go to the movies and m-maybe the café afterwards?” 
He does his signature stare at me, “we’ll see. We’ll start with the movie at least.” I smile and hurry to get my shoes on, we go to the local movie theater and Levi keeps me close to his side the whole time. Once we are seated, he drapes an arm over my shoulders and whispers. “Best to look like we are dating while we are out of the house.” 
“O-Okay…” I’ve never heard of this kind of tactic in all of those movies and games involving bodyguards. Or maybe I just never found those specific ones. He idly moves his fingers along my upper arm. His touch is giving me goosebumps. The movie goes by without a hitch and we are able to visit the animal café. I didn’t realize how much I missed home until a cat curled up in my lap while I tried to eat a slice of cake. I also try to make small talk with the quiet bodyguard, but he has his guard up constantly. It’s hard to get any information about him personally or otherwise. I’m almost finished with my cake when he suddenly pulls me out of my seat and throws the table up as protection. My ears are ringing from the sudden downpour of bullets that destroy the little café. Animals and people alike scatter trying to find safety. Levi yells into his earpiece for his team to engage. I can only tremble in fear as the man shields me. When the gunfire finally stops, he leads me out the back and we are forced to relocate to a new safehouse. 
Day 10
I’m struggling with sleep again, I think Levi is starting to take notice. “Do you need me to start sitting in the room at night?” 
“How would that help?” I’m a little snappy, I don’t mean to be.
“It’s just a suggestion,” he seems unfazed by my words. 
I sigh and sip my coffee, “it’s worth a shot, I’m not sure what else to do at this point.” 
He sets his cup down and grabs my wrist, half dragging me to the couch where he sits down and pulls me down to join him. “Lay down.” 
“I’m not napping, if I can’t sleep how can I-” He cuts my protests off by guiding my head into his lap, I feel my face turn red hot at the realization of my position. 
“Just shut up and try.” I couldn’t see it, but he was hiding his face in his hand. Sure enough his little experiment works and I finally get a little sleep. 
Day 15
Levi’s been staying in my room for nearly a week now and I’m surprised to say it’s helping a lot. His presence lately has brought a great source of comfort and also been generating some...feelings...I don’t know what to do about it. He is my bodyguard, he is just doing a job. “Hey…” I can’t believe I’m about to ask him this. “Have you ever...caught feelings for a client?” 
“No, never.” His stoic stare is unwavering. “Why?” 
“Just curious…” I need to just do what I usually do, bury these feelings deep down inside until it festers and then slowly rots away over the course of a few years...or until he does something that just kills the feelings all together. 
“Do you feel like trying to go out in public again?” 
“Not really, getting shot at once was enough.” I turn to take care of something when next thing I know I’m on the ground with Levi hovering over me. Jesus, this is not helping! 
“Damn it, we are under fire!” Despite the fact he is yelling, my ears are ringing enough I can barely hear him. How did these guys find us again? We haven’t been out of the safe house at all! Levi leads me to a secret exit and he drops his ear piece and has me ditch basically every electronic. We take the car we’ve been using and ditch it in the middle of town before getting set up in a motel. He pays in cash and uses a fake name, I’m pretty sure the receptionist thinks I’m a mistress or something. We get in the room and he starts frisking me. 
“Whoa, what are you doing? What what what are you doing?” I feel my whole body goes warm at his touch. 
“I’m checking for anything that might have been placed on you to track us. I’ve purposefully gone dark in case it’s a mole in the ranks.” He stops frisking me and suddenly starts stripping his clothes off. 
“Whoa! A warning would’ve been nice!” My heart can’t handle all of this. He says nothing as he inspects all of his clothes. 
“Okay, looks like we are safe, I’ll sweep the room for bugs and then go get us some new clothes. Will you be alright alone for a couple of hours?” 
“I-I think so?” I feel anxious at the thought after being shot at again mere hours ago. 
“Lock the door, do not open it until you hear this knock.” He completes a little sequence on the coffee table. “Can you remember that?” 
“Y-Yeah, okay, got it.” He goes around the room to check for any secret cameras or microphones or anything out of the ordinary before running off to resupply everything we left behind. I’m ready for this madness to stop.
Day 20
There is tension, I can feel it! Ever since we were downgraded to this motel and basically forced to stay in the same room day and night it’s been harder and harder to ignore my budding feelings for the bodyguard. He just stares at me half the time, the other half we are sleeping. On top of that there is only one bed and I’m starting to feel bad that I’m the only one using it. He swears he is fine in the chair, but I don’t believe him. “I’m going to take a shower, are you getting hungry?” 
“Yeah, a bit.” I can feel his eyes on me as I go into the tiny bathroom. I shower up and try to relax under the hot water. It’s only after I turn the shower off I realize I didn’t grab clothes to change into. I tightly wrap my towel around me and venture cautiously out into the room. Levi hasn’t moved. 
“I...forgot to grab my clothes…” I try to break the awkward silence, but it only proves to make things more awkward for me. “C-Could you look away for a moment?” He doesn’t move his head, only his eyes as he looks off to the side. I turn so my back is to him as I pull my clothes on to get ready for bed. I’m not used to wearing half the stuff he bought the other day, but at least they fit. I turn and run straight into him, when did he get behind me?! “S-Sorry, do you need something?” 
His face is harder to read than usual, I can’t tell if he is pissed about something or what, but it’s starting to scare me. Before I can try to awkwardly fill the silence void, he simply replies “you.” 
“W-What?!” 
He leans closer to my face, “I need you.” He closes the distance and presses his lips to mine. I instantly melt into the kiss and drop my towel on the floor. He backs me up to the bed and we both fall back onto it. The rest of the night is a hot and steamy blur as we made love. He was surprisingly gentle at first, but that didn’t last once he was sure I was okay. In the morning I’m surprised to find him still in bed with me, his arm draped over my side. 
Day 30
They finally located us and gave us the all clear, they caught the guys and I can return to my life as it was. But...I don’t want to. They are already trying to assign Levi elsewhere and I can’t imagine being apart from him now. I can’t exactly go with him on jobs and I doubt they have local work. Is this really going to be goodbye forever? “[F/n]?” I am startled out of my thoughts by a tall blond man with one arm. 
“Yes?” I have to crane my neck a little to see his face. 
“Your biological mother has extended an invitation for you to go live with her.” 
“Really? I...wow, I’m not sure how to respond to that.” 
“She also requested that the one who kept you safe joins her new permanent security detail.” This catches my attention. “He said he would gladly take it, but he requested that you be there too. He didn’t specify why.” I feel my cheeks turn red as I consider the offer. 
“S-Sure, I’d like to get to know my mom and I’d hate for her to not get such a well trained bodyguard on her team.” I try really hard to cover up my excitement. 
“Alright, that settles the matter, I will make arrangements to have your belongings transported over there. Levi will give you a ride.” I see him pull up behind the blond man as if on cue. I thank the mystery man and rush to see Levi. He gives me an emotionally charged kiss as soon as the door shuts behind me. 
“You didn’t think you could get rid of me did you?” He smirks as he backs up to look me in the eyes. 
“No, I figured you wouldn’t be gone that easily.” He gives me one more kiss before driving off towards my soon to be new home. I honestly can’t believe how much happened in the span of a month.
Day ???
“What’s this scar from?” I point to one on his forearm as we snuggle in my bed. 
“That was from a knife fight I got into as a kid.” He holds the scarred arm up while his other holds me to him. 
“Why were you in a knife fight?” I rest my cheek against his bare chest. 
“I had an uncle that figured I would be better off learning the ways of knife fighting instead of going to actual school. Oddly enough it worked out.” He puts his arm down and tucks some stray hair behind my ear. 
“Would you teach me knife fighting?” 
“Hell no, I’ve got a track record of unscathed clients to upkeep.”
“But I’m not a client anymore.” 
“Still no, I will teach you some self defense if you want to learn to defend yourself.” 
“Deal!” He gives a rare chuckle as he shifts to get more comfortable. “Aren’t you supposed to be on rounds this morning?” 
He shrugs, “I’m sleeping with the boss's daughter, I think I have some immunity.”
“Are you sure about that? Think about what you just said.” He takes a moment then moves to get out of bed. 
“Fair point, I’ll see you after work.” He pulls his pants on then turns to give me one last kiss. Gotta admit, despite the chaos that prompted our meeting, I’m glad it happened.
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harrys-reverie · 4 years ago
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Dog Years // Harry Styles O.U.
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Part 3: The Bookstore
a/n: hey everyone! welcome to part 3 of dog years. sorry it took so long on the update -- i just got back to college. i hope you enjoy this chapter!!! i personally consider it harry’s very subtle way of opening up to people (how i’d imagine it) as always like, SHARE, COMMENTS, feedback, all appreciated!!! xoo
STORY PAGE I PART ONE I PART TWO
To be fair I didn’t hear from Jeff or Harry for two whole days. I was starting to feel like they lowkey didn’t want me to be part of their ‘team’ anymore. I couldn’t be bothered even if they didn’t, because at the end of the day I worked for Eve, not them. But at the same time all I could do was sit and recollect about my night with all of them. Everything seemed to go so well, and i really thought they liked me. I liked them.
So since Eve figured my pay was now around the clock, if I wasn’t doing anything that I needed to do be doing something. It was just a bunch of menial tasks like picking up  garbage around the premises, scooping up vile dog shit and what not. Honestly, it kind of sucked. I rather be fetching candles and dropping them off to Harry.
But finally it was Sunday and it was my day off. A part of me wanted to go back to my nans house, stop in and say hi. Then I remembered Sunday’s were her brunch and bingo days and she went out with all her cute old lady friends. I was starting to feel extremely lonely.
So I was left to myself in my little cottage. It was pretty relaxing, but all the time cooped up in here was becoming boring and repetitive. And to think I had 4 months left of this. Just sitting in my bed scrolling through shopping sites putting tons of clothes in a cart I’d never get around to purchasing. Even being payed around the clock wasn’t enough to buy a whole new wardrobe.
So yes, I was starting to get a little antsy that I heard nothing from Harry or Jeff. I sneakily biked by Harry’s cottage multiple times to see if he was still there throughout the two days, and his car was still parked in the driveway each time. I hadn’t seen him even around the premises at all doing anything. Or anyone from his group for that matter. I tried to tell myself by the end of the first day that they were all just super hungover. I knew that was a stretch but it eased my mind. Then yesterday rolled around and I had no comforting excuses for why I hadn’t heard from them.
I expressed my worry to Eve and she insisted that they were probably just getting settled. Okay, I’ll take that. That’s got to be it, right?
As I continued to worry in my head about what may have gone wrong I reached for my phone. Nope, no messages. Fuck. This was quickly becoming a bad habit, constantly checking my phone. Bravely I pressed Jeff’s contact, hovering my thumb over the call option. Should I try to reach out? Eh. Sighing, I locked the phone and tossed it to my side. If they needed me, they would act on it. I didn’t want to be a nuisance and bother any of them.
Focusing my attention back on my laptop I popped open a new tab on my Safari browser. I began typing his name, enter and then search.
Instantly an endless amount of brand new and just days old articles displayed across my screen. Harry Styles this, Harry Styles that. There was one recurring theme throughout all of these article titles though, a girls name - Camille.
“Camille Rowe, ex lover of musician Harry Styles states that he’s ‘overly jealous and begged her to stay when they broke up!’ Oh no, poor H. Read more here.”
“Apparently Harry Styles is a Freak in the Sheets! Ex Girlfriend Camille Rowe recollects on her sex life with the pop star in her new book ’Truth Be Told.’”
“Feeling bad about getting cheated on? Don’t feel bad,Harry Styles has been in your shoes too...his ex girlfriend opens up about the mistakes she made that ultimately led to the lyrics of Harry’s sophomore album, Fine Line.”
I couldn’t help but let out a gasp, all this couldn’t be true, could it? I exited out of the tab quickly, afraid to go on and read more of those terrible headlines. I honestly felt bad if all that was true, and if Harry’s ex girlfriend really did that, then I could only imagine how he might be feeling.
I could tell Harry really valued his privacy, why else would he be out here in the middle of nowhere in complete hiding? I thought back to him telling me how he had a disdain for California, I was now beginning to think she had some sort of connection to it. Poor Harry. Almost instantly I was feeling guilty, like I invaded Harry’s privacy by seeing all of those headlines. Imagining what the whole world most think and know of him right now is extremely unsettling. To bring up how he has sex and his most vulnerable moments and just like everyone know about it, it’s beyond fucked up.
Ting.
The world has a funny way of working making connections sometimes. Deep down in my gut I had a feeling it’d be Harry or Jeff who left me a text, it just had to be. Before I even reached my phone I saw the capital H, I knew it was Harry. Of course, he was texting me now, after I saw all that and felt so fucking bad. If he was any other person I’d ask if he wanted to have a nice chat, bring over some ice cream and wine and help him relax.
I wasn’t slow to swipe up on the message and see what he wrote.
‘Hiiiii Colette. Hope you’re well, it’s Harry. Have a huge favor to ask you whenever you get the chance. X”
Hah, he’s acting me for a favor as if I’m not getting paid to help him with whatever he needs. He’s too nice. I didn’t hesitate to start typing back.
‘Hi, Harry! How are you? I’ve been just well! As for the favor...sure anything :)”
Not even five seconds later my phone was vibrating and ringing at the same time, Harry’s name flashing across the screen. Ah, so he’s one of those people who have to make phone calls for everything. My hands felt like jelly as I went to accept the call. Even though we had a great night, him not talking to me for a couple days made me rethink how great that night might’ve actually been. Maybe I was just super tipsy and thought it was amazing when it was just subpar.
“Hello?” I chimed, placing the phone to my ear.
His deep Americanized-British accent greeted me, “Morning Colette!” He sounded extra chirpy this morning.
“Harry! Haven’t heard from you in a while..” I replied nervously.
There was a small pause. “Sorry ‘bout that just keeping busy and what not. I meant to text but, I was so preoccupied I forgot. ‘M sorry, won’t pull something like that again.”
My heart felt like it was being squeezed, my intention was never to make him feel bad but I could sense that I did. I wondered how stressful it was on him always being so kind to everyone, literally everyone. At all times of the day.  I had a feeling that most of the time he was putting on an act when deep down he was just having real human problems that he had to keep tucked away.
“Don’t apologize,” I rushed. “It’s fine, seriously. What’s up?”
“A little bit of this, a little bit of that,” He joked. I could hear his soft chuckle from the other line. “Sunday’s.”
“The most relaxing day,” I noted, it was true.
“Relaxing enough where I feel like I should take some time and start a book.”
Oh, fuck. There wasn’t much enthusiasm in his voice anymore. I had a feeling I knew where all of this was heading, and I didn’t like it.
“Any day is a great day to start a book,” I suggested trying to hide my nerves. The universe really was one giant head fuck.
“Actually the favor I was going to ask you,” Harry drawled, a slight tinge of hesitation is his voice. “I really want this specific book.”
Yep, this was his heading right where I thought it would.
“Ooo which one?” I questioned excitedly, like I didn’t know. I was really hoping he’d take me by surprise and say that new Twilight book or something.
“It’s called Truth Be Told. Actually, bet it’s sold out everywhere. Can’t even Amazon fuckin’ Prime it.” He laughed. Maybe he was taking this a lot lighter than I thought...?
“Y’ know what. I don’t need it. Um, do you have any book recs?” Harry rushed.
“If you want that book I’ll go out in town and look for it, but if not I do have some recommendations,” I offered.
“Okay, how ‘bout this? I’ll lend you my car and could you get me that uh, Truth book or whatever and also, get me a book you recommend for me and I have one I recommend for you.”
“You trust me in your car? I just only started to learn to drive on the opposite side of the road,” I admitted with a smile, not like he could see it.
“If ya crash my car, I wouldn’t even try coming back...avoid the wrath of Harry Styles at all costs,” He countered.
“Uh-oh I’m scared,” I fake gasped.
“Hm, should be. I’m not like the papers say, ‘m actually a real diva.”
I was starting to really like this conversation.
“A lot of work, huh?”
“You think you can handle it?”
It’s like I could hear his smirk through the phone. This conversation went really, might I say flirtatious, really fast. I knew it was just his personality and I shouldn’t over think it. But if there is one thing I loved in life, it was a good flirt. And Harry, he was good at it.
I must have been zoned out for a moment because I heard Harry awkwardly clear his throat when I didn’t reply back to his flirtatious line.
“So ‘m gonna pick you up actually. We’ll go back to mine and then you can head off to get those books? Sound good?” He spoke into the line.
“Oh yeah, sure.”
“See ya soon.”
With a click, the call was finished. As much as I wanted to sit back and recollect on what the fuck went down in that call I knew I needed to get out of bed and make myself presentable. He didn’t give me an ETA so I assumed I didn’t have much time on the clock.
I ran to my overflowing duffle, with all the time on my hands I really needed to get around to unpacking it. Was it bad that I wanted to try to look a little more dressed up than just jeans and a tee?
Yep, it was probably bad because I shouldn’t care how I look in front of him.
“Ugh!” I exclaimed, rummaging through all the wrinkled clothing. I settled on black jeans and a black blouse. It looked a bit funeral-esque, I’m hoping it came off as chic. I’d look like a rag doll next to him anyway, the least I could do was try.
He really wanted to go and get his ex girlfriend’s book, huh? I don’t know why he’d want to do that to himself, either way I was going to play dumb as rocks when he gave me the list of the name and author of the book. It’s not entirely an act though, I just read a few headlines. Correction, I just google searched his name and scrolled throw a bunch of headlines about how you have sex and cry — how terrible that would sound if he knew it was true. I will be taking that one to the grave with me.
I swore not even 5 minutes had passed by and the purring of Harry’s engine was already echoing through my house. He was only up the hill after all, but he gave me absolutely zero time to fix myself up. I just had to suck it up and go out there with my frizzy hair and oily skin and tough it out.
But that wasn’t even my biggest concern, my biggest concern was the fact I, a shit driver in the first place, was now being trusted to drive Harry’s extremely fancy Range Rover to a book store of some sorts somewhere. As soon as we traded off the car my plan was to start Google mapping a place and praying that it was close. The quicker I’m in and out of that vehicle, the better.
My phone pinged.
Harry.
“Should’ve gone to the bathroom before I left. Can I come in for a quick wee? X”
I just couldn’t get a break, my bathroom was cluttered with skincare products and dirty clothes piling on the side. I ran to the bathroom swiping up the dirty clothes and tossing them in an empty drawer in the dresser. He’ll just have to excuse all my beauty products, I didn’t want to keep him waiting too long.
“Come in!!!” I texted him back.
The sound of a car door slam was almost instantly followed by a polite knock at my door. Although the cottages were spread far apart I rushed over to the door, not wanting him to stay outside too long, afraid he might get noticed.
I peered through the peephole and was blessed by the handsome looks of Harry. He was tapping his foot against the cobblestone, the hood of his Nike rain jacket pulled over his head completely, while his hair was covered by a black beanie. Even being so covered up he was still so good looking. I opened the door for him, allowing him inside.
“Hi there,” He grinned as I welcomed him in. I’d love to chat but ‘m actually bout to wee my pants. Give me a moment please.”
Harry then fast walked his way over to the bathroom, obviously familiar with the floor plan. He must’ve stayed in one of the smaller cottages before. The smell of his heavenly cologne suffocated the room instantly. I knew I’d still be smelling it lingering in the air even later on tonight.
All the rushing to get ready and let him in, I wasn’t even focused on my stomach which was knotting like crazy. It felt like it could explode from nerves at just any minute. I don’t remember ever feeling this nervous when I had to see him. Granted I’ve only seen him those two times, but I played it off so cool then. I think I was just working myself up over nothing right now.
I heard the sound of running water and momentarily the steps of his shoes making their way back over to me.
“Can we redo the greeting?” He questioned with a big smile.
“Ok..”
“No, ‘m actually just going to pop outside, knock again and everything,” Harry insisted seriously.
“I’ll pretend like you didn’t just rush to the bathroom like a toddler who hasn’t gone to the bathroom all day,” I agreed, going along with his little act.
“Great.”
Harry popped open the front door, shutting it behind him and going back into the hazy morning air, doing a quick spin before making contact with the door once again.
Knock.
I couldn’t help but giggle as I opened up the door for him the second time.
“Morning Colette, how are ya doing on this fine September morning?” Harry asked me extra cheerily, creeping in for a hug. I embraced him back, the scent of his cologne engulfing my senses once again.
“Doing just fine Mr. Styles. Could I offer you some tea?” I asked in a proper tone, putting on my best imitation of a British accent.
Harry rolled his eyes, breaking the act...”That’s the best you got? You’ve only bloody been staying in England for a whole month.”
“Is it that bad?” I asked appalled.
“Terrible.”
“Better luck next time.” I sighed jokingly.
“Don’t even try. I like your voice just how it is naturally, anyway,” He spoke honestly. The second it left his mouth he too looked taken aback at the compliment he had just thrown at me.
“Want to go get those books?” I suggested awkwardly, dismissing his compliment and changing the topic. Back to business.
Harry seemed surprised by how I brushed it off and maybe even a little embarrassed, his finger began fiddling with his bottom lip. I was starting to pick up that was a little thing he did when he was nervous.
“The books. How could I forget,” He replied dully.
“If i’m being honest I don’t even know where a book store is around here,” I huffed.
“I do,” He smirked.
“Well that’s no help considering I’m going by myself,” I rolled my eyes back at him playfully.
Harry was leaning his body weight on the wooden table by the entrance, a huge smirk painted on his face.
“Guess you’re outta luck then.”
“Would it be bad if I asked for you to come with and guide me?” I asked bravely. I was taking myself by surprise with how upfront I was being towards him. It was just so hard not to be when he was just so normal.
His face dropped a little. I couldn’t tell what sort of reaction he was feeling towards my question but he looked upset. I instantly regretted it because I know my request was about to be rejected.
“As much as I’d love to...” Harry began. “I can’t.”
“Stupid of me to ask,” I replied casually brushing it off. I wanted to change the topic.
“No, it’s not. Maybe I’m better off ordering books online, anyways.”
“I mean, I could still, go get it for you. Something to do.”
Harry brushed it off, shoving his hands in his sweat pockets. “Nope, don’t want you to anymore..the ratings weren’t even that good.”
Oh wow, Harry has some pettiness in him. I couldn’t blame him though. I think anybody else would feel the same way. I wanted to just reach out and tell him I knew why he wanted that book, and that it’s not even worth a bother. I really felt for him. I too had a bad ex, as we typically all do. I can’t say it was as bad as Harry’s past relationship, but mine was bad in it’s own unique way.
“Fuck it.” He mumbled before turning his gaze back towards me. “Let’s go get them books.”
I was surprised, “Really?”
“I hate to do this and act like a macho pop star  but ‘m really gonna have to go incognito. Can’t even step out the car with ya unfortunately, but I’ll drive us.”
My heart warmed at his offer, I knew he was probably going against what his strict hiding rules were in order to go through with this. If he was just driving a heavily tinted car though, was there still a way for paparazzi to notice him? I was excited, I think he could tell because he let out a small giggle, shaking his head.
“Let’s hit the road then!” I exclaimed.
“After you,” He grinned, holding the door open in front of me and leading me to his car.
_________________
The ride with Harry was going well. He had a incognito get up of sunglasses, a beanie and his hood up, making sure there was no way someone could detect it was him. His car smelled like fresh leather and mint, there was an abundance of chewing gum packets stashed in the front compartment of his car along with miscellaneous receipts. Lucky for the both of us, the roads were almost completely clear and there was no traffic heading into town.
Harry was just as attractive looking while driving as I thought he would be. To be fair there was something so enticing about having any guy drive all manly and taking control. But especially Harry driving was a beautiful sight to see. The background music of the radio was humming in the background as the two of us chatted along casually.
“How are you going to recommend me a book if you can’t even come in?” I questioned him.
He turned to me, “Who said I’m not coming in?”
“You did!”
“Might just be your lucky day then,” He smirked. “Do you have a good recommendation in mind for me? Shall we surprise one another?”
I nodded my head, “Sounds like a plan.”
“No soppy romantic books, please,” He scoffed.
“But those are my favorites!”
“Don’t care. I’ve probably read all the best of them anyways,” Harry argued back, a huge smirk painted on his face.
Deep down I knew already which book I was going to pick out for him if it was there. I didn’t care if it was a romantic one or not because I had a feeling he hadn’t read it yet and I had an ever greater feeling that he’d fall in love with it.
The two of us went back and forth chatting to each other another until we began to reach a cobblestone path that led to a small selection of shops. The plaza was secluded and had just a few small buildings overgrown with ivy unevenly placed amongst one another. I’d say there was a max of 5 or 6 cars in the whole parking lot. To be fair, we were pretty far out of town I’d say we had been driving for at least 20 minutes.
“You ready?” He questioned. I could tell there was a hint of nerves in his voice. He was awkwardly fiddling with his wallet and pushing his hood down. He was now just left with his oversized black beanies and sunglasses as his ‘disguise.’
“Are you sure you want to do this? You don’t have to,” I insisted earnestly. I didn’t want to push him to be in a situation that could get messy really quick.
“I’ll be fine here,” Harry reasoned, turning his gaze to the entrance of a little shop by the name of ‘Greg’s Books and More.’
“If anything goes bad, it wasn’t my fault!”
I didn’t want to be responsible for anything that might ensue, after all Harry was the one who insisted to walk in the shop with me. I had a good feeling that we’d be set though, there was literally nobody around and we were far from any major city with large amounts of people.
The two of us hopped out simultaneously shutting the car doors together. Walking side by side with him in the bright daylight made me more aware of the height difference between us, one I had barely ever noticed before. His single strides were equivalent to almost double mine and his shoulders were just a slight amount higher than my eye level.
“Good morning!” A sweet old man, short and stout greeted us from behind a counter of the shop. Harry and I both waved back.
“Morning sir, how are ya doing today?” Harry asked kindly, stopping short to stand and talk to the man.
“Just having a cuppa, enjoying the Sunday,” The man replied. “Let me know if you two kids have any questions.”
I shot the man another small smile before turning to Harry. “May the best book picker win?” I joked.
“You’ve got 10 minutes.”
“1...2..” I began counting down, but before I could even reach the number three, Harry was already rushing to the rows of books, an agenda already on his mind. He seemed so confident in what he was going to pick that I soon began to re think what I was going to choose for his book.
I hurriedly rushed to the other side of the bookstore, scanning the shelves with my eyes. The shop was small and I could hear Harry rummaging through shelves on the opppsite side. I had 10 minutes to find the book I had in mind, something I loved that I wanted to pass on to Harry.
The thought of trading off books to someone who a very intimate gesture, an invitation to be apart of another’s brain. I still couldn’t believe I was here right now with Harry Styles, a now friend, spending my Sunday out and about the town. I knew it was my day off but I knew when I arrived back to my cottage I’d want to inform Eve.
As my eyes panned over the endless covers and names of authors and titles a familiar bright blue and green cover popped up. Ah, I knew what this was. Before I had even fully removed it from the shelf, the yellow cursive script was already showing.
Love is a Mix Tape.
Given his career in music I knew right away this would be the perfect book for him. I had read it months ago, but the impact it left on me remained the same. A story not specifically circled around romance, but hints at the struggles of love and loss. It was funny and a joy to read.
I looked over the book making sure there were no imperfections, torn pages or bent covers. Luckily there was none, I angled it to my side hiding it just in case he’d pop out of of nowhere.
Walking up to the cash register there was no sign of him, he was probably still amongst the jungle of books so I took this as my invitation to check out.
“Hi,” I chirped to the old man who sat behind the desk, his glasses almost falling off his face as he read through the book in front of him.
“Hello there love, you all set?” He asked, walking over to the vintage-like cash register.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I put the book down between us already beginning to reach in my purse for my wallet. I really hoped Harry hasn’t read this one yet.
“Can I just give you money to cover both my book and the other customers? Like, pass it on..” I spoke handing the man almost triple the amount of my single book. He looked at me inquisitively and then began to smile.
“I’m sure that young man will appreciate it,” He smiles, a glimmer of knowingness in his eyes.  I knew the gesture was small and i knew money was not a problem for him but I had such an urge to just do it anyways.
I thanked the man as he wrapped up the book and placed it in a brown paper bag, graciously taking it from him. Harry was still amongst the jungle of shelves and I didn’t want to prowl or cause attention so I decided to wait outside the store. The air was fresh and crisp, the sound of chirping birds and whistling trees engulfed my senses. I’m almost sure Harry had reached his 10 minute mark, but I wasn’t going to rush him. I had a feeling it was a rare occurrence for him to be able to aimlessly shop around, crowd free.
“Ya ready?” His voice erupted behind me, the bell of the door pinging in the quiet air. I turned to face him, his paper bag tucked underneath his arm.
“Not really,” I joked, it wasn’t a complete lie though. I wouldn’t mind shopping around with him in little hideaways all day. Harry caught up to me and we began the short walk back to his car in quiet. As my hand began to reach the handle he quickly swooped in front of me, opening it himself. I looked at him with a stupid look on my face, in awe of a gentleman.
“Oh thanks,” I spoke sheepishly.
“My pleasure.”
I hopped in and moments later Harry was back in the drivers seat beside me pressing the car on and pumping up the heat.
“Thanks, by the way.” He gestured to the paper bag.
“Oh, not a problem at all! Random acts of kindness or whatever,” I brushed it off.
“Not used to someone covering the bill,” He admitted. “Not like that type of stuff matters to me.”
“Well don’t even worry about it.”
“I’ll get you back next time,” He noted.
Next time. So there’s going to be a next time? A next time of us going to the book store? A next time of us hanging out? A next time of what?
“Should we swap these books or what?” I questioned, changing the topic once again.
“So eager, huh?” Harry laughed.
“Well we’re just sitting here in a empty parking lot, you have any other suggestions?”
“You’re right,” He quipped. “Here you are then.”
The two of us exchanged the bags. He lifted it to his ear, shaking it as if it was a surprise gift and he was trying to guess what it could be.
“Just get on with it!” I exclaimed.
“Hush, hush.” He began opening it, very carefully, soon revealing the book I had chosen for him.
“Lucky for you, I’ve never read this. Thank you,” He seemed very grateful as he looked over the front cover, going back and forth between the pages quickly. “I’m excited.”
“Thank God,” I huffed. “I was nervous you’d have read it before.”
“Nope, never. You did good,” Harry compliments, his eyes falling back to my unopened bag in my hands. “Now it’s your turn.”
Oh, yeah.
“I hate when people watch me open stuff,” I admitted. My hand was toying with the bag as I looked at him nervously. I didn’t like people watching me because I was afraid that I wouldn’t give off the right reaction to whatever they may have given me. It was too much pressure, and especially Harry watching me so intently it made me nervous.
“Want me to turn away?” He offered earnestly. “I know people like that, my sister.”
“Maybe just like causally look out the car or whatever.”
Immediately he began fiddling with his windshield wipers, intently focusing on them as if they were some sort of puzzle. I wanted to tell him not to use them when it wasn’t raining and it’d damage the car, but I’m sure he knew that. I took that as my queue to quickly unpack-age the book, afraid he might cause damage.
When I opened it up it revealed not one but two books. The one on top made my heart sink, I recognized the title right away. It was his ex girlfriends book. Why would he give this one to me? Should I act like I know what it is and what it’s about? No. Play dumb. Underneath it though, was a book by the name of ‘Betting On The Muse’ by Charles Bakowski. Ah, poetry.
“You done yet slowpoke?” Harry interrupted  my thoughts, the two books sat between my lap.
“You can look,” I complied. “Are they both for me?”
“Yes,” He replied simply. “But, I have some stipulations.”
“This wasn’t a part of the deal.”
“I would like if you read the Bukowski book first. It’s poems, I want you to read them and guess which one is my favorite when you’re finished,” He instructed sweetly. Although there was direction in his tone, it came off so kind. “As for the other one..” He paused and then let out a huff.
“I don’t even want you to touch it,” He continued. “Don’t look it up, reviews, synopsis...anything.”
“Okay,” I agreed. I was confused but I didn’t want to let that on.
“One day, if I give you the ‘ok’ I want you to read it. If you want. You don’t have to listen to me by any means, but yeah,” He finished awkwardly.
“So just hold onto it?” I asked, holding up the Truth Be Told book. His eyes glimpsed down to it before quickly shooting back up to meet my gaze. The cover was what I was assuming to be her, his ex. Her hair was messy, lips full, topless with her arms covering her breasts in shades of black and white.
“Yeah, just hold on to it,” He stated.
“You’ve got my word,” I smiled. I could feel the tension in the car and I didn’t want it anymore. This was supposed to be a lighthearted excursion and I wanted to keep it that way.
“Great, well thank you for the books. I’ll start mine right away,” Harry began as he started the car once again. “You ready to take back off?”
I nodded watching him look over the book I had gotten him one last time. He smiled at it before turning to smile towards me. I smiled back. He then brought his hand to the radio, clicked a few things on his iPhone and then turned the notch up loudly. As he began to pull out of the cobblestone parking lot, the beautiful sound of his voice filled the car. This time it was in song.
19 notes · View notes
itsanerdlife · 6 years ago
Text
Smoke 8/16
Pairing: Ronin!Clint Batron x Black Cat!Reader
Warning: Violence. Torture mentioned. Death mentioned. Nightmares. Lies. Seducing. Sexual humor. Broken and damaged pasts. Killing. Possessive Male. Struggling to open up. Secrets. Dark past.
A/N: ENDGAME SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT, DON’T READ THIS!!!
After the snap, the avengers split apart. Finding their own ways to cope. Clint found his under a new identity, Ronin. Getting revenge for those they lost. For the family taken from them. The evil left when heroes were wiped out, it became his mission to take out the evil. All while keeping a list of those who could help, if needed one day. Clint stumbles upon a woman, Cat. She’s a mystery in the dark. One happen stance meet, one night, gone like smoke.
After the second snap, setting the world right again. Fury is looking at those kept tabs on. When Cat appears on the screen, nobody know a lot about the mysterious woman who haunted Clint’s dreams and stole his favorite T-shirt. There’s a chance she’s in trouble, can Clint find her, convince her there is more, that he can save her? But is he the cause of what’s after her? Just what mystery is she keeping all to herself? Or is he the one she’s trying to save?
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Clint
She sat in the sunroom, Odin in her lap, her fingers scratching at his ears softly.
“Hey,” he stops a short distance from her “maybe we could talk?” He shrugs tucking his hands into his pockets. She eyes him, a small confused look on her face.
“About what?” She asks, her hands stilling.
“You, us, our pasts.” He shrugs. “I don’t know much about you.” He sighs.
“What do you mean?” Her brow pulls down. “You know a lot about me.” She blinks up at him.
“Do I?” He asks, stepping closer towards her.
“Patient zero. Odin. My identity.” She shrugs.
“That’s not a lot babe.” He felt guilty being pushy, but he needed something. Some sign, she was going to give him something.
“But it is.” She points out.
“But it’s not.” He sighs, reaching up, brushing a thumb down her cheek. “We’re together, Y/N. Shouldn’t we know each other?” He asks, watching her. “Be committed in this?” He searches her face.
“We are committed.” She sighs. “We’re sleeping together, I haven’t killed you.” She points out. “Do we need to do the whole talking thing?” She asks, concern on her face.
“Sleeping together isn’t the commitment I’m looking for.” He sighs, dropping his hand. “I need the talking, Y/N. I want to know you and your terrible secrets.” He admits. She swallows hard but doesn’t say anything. He turns leaving the room.
------
Buck
“Fuck.” She mutters. “Oh shut up you fur ball.” She sighs, shoving Odin off her lap. “I didn’t ask you.” She mutters, looking out the window. Odin runs to him, he bends, picking the fluffy, black cat up. Cradling him in the crook of his metal arm. He scratches Odin’s chin, listening to his purr.
“I’ve heard they’re a delegacy in Korea.” Buck chuckles, watching Y/N. She turns looking at Odin in his arm.
“Think Korea town is the same?” She lifts a brow. She looks disgruntled, clearly bothered by her argument with Clint.
“Couldn’t be hard to figure out.” He smirks. Odin gives a low meow.
“Let me guess, you heard?” She lifts a brow, slouching into the couch.
“Well, yeah. But also Clint’s one of my best friends.” He shrugs.
“What’s the like?” She asks, looking over at him.
“Having a best friend?” He asks.
“Having trust?” She replies softly. He nods, setting Odin down, he walks over to the couch. He puts a hand out to her, she looks confused.
“Come on, let’s take a walk.” He nods towards the slider door. She pauses for a second, before slipping her hand into his. He pulls her up, the two of them heading for the door.
They walked slowly, taking the path that leads through the compound.
“If anyone know what it’s like to not trust, it would be me.” He nods, looking down at her.
“You seem to be doing well here.” She shrugs, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Because I learned one thing, if you’re going to trust anyone, ever.” He smirks.
“It’s this team.” He looks over at her.
“That’s a lot of people.” She speaks softly, as if she was afraid to admit that.
“These people. This team, Clint and myself included. Will go to any length to protect our own.” He nods. “To take care of our family.” He glances at her; she avoids eye contact watching the ground as they walk. “We’re all broken in some way. Some more than others, like you and me.” He points out, smiling softly when wide, startled, pale grey eyes look up at him.
“I’m not broken.” She replies.
“You are.” He chuckles. “Get mad, you can’t kill me.” He shrugs, when her mouth puckers. “You’re broken and that’s okay. Means you’re more like us than you think.” He chuckles.
“I wouldn’t go that far.” She sighs.
“Y/N, you trust Clint.” He stops, looking at her. She pauses looking up at him. “Or you want to at least. You got out of the life on the belief he could help you.” He points out. “You follow him blindly, and that’s saying a lot.” He smirks. “He’s gotten us into many stupid situations. You want to trust him, but you don’t know how to let him in and still protect yourself.” He calls her out.
“Is this where you tell me how to get over my problem?” She lifts a brow, sassing.
“Nope.” He chuckles. “I can tell you what I did.” He shrugs. “Tried to share a part of my past. Small things at first, once a month, or every few weeks.” He admits. “Than bigger things, more often, till it didn’t feel like the secrets were acid coming up.” He nods. “It’s just an opinion, hell blurt things out. We don’t judge.” He smiles. “Hell between Nat, Tony, Clint and myself, we’ve probably done worse things.” Buck chuckles.
“Right. If I don’t,”
“You won’t hold on to that guy willing to try to save you, because he knows you’re worth so much more than committing crimes for pay.” Buck calls her out.
“And I thought sex was commitment enough.” She sighs, running a hand through her hair.
“You and Nat have a lot in common.” He laughs.
“I get a warm, fuzzy feeling from her. I think we could be, maybe friends?” She shrugs.
“Now that’s something I’ve never heard someone say about Nat before.” He snorts.
“The tattoos, today. I panicked. I ran away.” She admits softly as they start back towards the house.
“I figured that much.” He nods.
“I just feel like I’m this freak show, and everyone wants a peek behind the curtain.” She shrugs.
“I lived an entire life, with no memory of it.” He shrugs. “I did horrible things. They come back to bite me, so I get that feeling.” He nods.
“I can’t figure out what it is he sees in me.” She sighs.
“I can’t tell you that but let me ask you something. What do you see in him? That made you follow him and abandon the job you were hired to do?” He smirks at her.
“Under all his anger, the grief he wore like a heavy cloud, the denial he refused to accept the snap. He has this part of him, a little possessive I’m finding out. But he’s caring, sweet, and the sass almost matches my own.” She shrugs, a small smile on her lips.
“Think maybe he sees the same in you, under all your broken pieces?” He asks her, lifting a brow.
------------------------------
Everything Peaches 2/6/19: @xmtd5 @mo320 @all1e23 @courtmr @avxgers @eliza-kat @izzy--lee @irepeldirt @dumblani @nishanki1 @crist1216 @alyssaj23 @allyp1023 @joannie95 @kolakube9 @rileyloves5 @sarahp879 @sea040561 @tomhardy41 @sexyvixen7 @pcterpvrker @pigwidgexn @doctoranon @abschaffer2 @justrae9903 @bookluver01 @teller258316 @callie-bear15 @nickimarie94 @wandressfox @amandab-ftw @carostar2020 @henrietteoaks @nea90sweetie @circusofchaos @itsagalaxystar @bettercallsabs @miraclesoflove @lucifersnipnips @queenkrissy11 @this-is-mycrisis @sadyoungadult @destiel-artemis @paintballkid711 @isabelcrichards @iwillbeinmynest @sweet-honey15 @chanelmadrid13 @mellxander1993 @killerbumblebee @spookygrantaire @geeksareunique @supernatural508 @sammysgirl1997 @itzmegaaaaaaan @booksbeforebois @childishhoebinoo @elizabethaellison @aspiringtranslator @mariekoukie6661 @pure-princess-97 @capsheadquaters @samanthasmileys @nerdypinupcrystal @atlas-of-the-world @youclickedthislink @futuremrsb-r-main @lovemarvelousfics @notyourtypicalrose @petersunderoos96 @loving-life-my-way @buckystolemyheart @booktvmoviefangirl @supernatural-girl97 @abbypalmer14-blog @fanfictionjunkie1112 @meganlikesfandoms @awkwardfangirl2014 @supernaturaldean67 @neverahdullmoment @xqueenofthecraziesx   @queenoftheunderdark @writingaworldofmyown @supernaturallover2002 @daughterofthenight117 @mustbeaweasleyginger @mcuwillbethedeathofme @sprinklesandsugarcubes @whothehellisbucky-1930 @verymuchclosetedfangirl @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @ocaptain-mycaptainmorgan @wonderlandfandomkingdom @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @stupendoussciencenaturepanda @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @supernatural-strangerthings-1980
Marvel Tag List 2/6/19: @lumelgy   @dottirose   @jcc04220 @rockagurl @a--1--1--3 @mizzzpink   @jade-taillia @coley0823 @widowsfics @bookluver01 @thelostallycat @shield-agent78 @dtftheavengers   @ilovetvshowsblog @capsheadquaters   @iamwarrenspeace @thefridgeismybestie @whenallsaidanddone @deanwinchestersrifle @fandomsstolemylife00   @daughterofthenight117 @lilmissperfectlyimperfect  
Clint ‘Destory Me, I’ll Thank You’ Barton: @ml7010 @coley0823 @yavanna80 @lakamaa12 @boltsgirl919 @feelmyroarrrr @mrsseizetheday @honey-bee-holly @marvelfansworld @mybarnesmyhero   @the-real-mary-jane @dumbbitchenergytm @agentsinstorybrooke @x-whyareyoureadingthis-x @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory
Smoke: @2s0uls @xxloki81xx @csigeoblue @demonlover87 @capandbuckylvr @marvelfansworld @natromanoffsboys @barton-you-dummy @thefandomimagines @thosesexytexasboys  
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whycraft · 5 years ago
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a lump in the throat: chapter 3
AO3 | Wattpad | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
Joe continued to send messages after that, but he didn’t visit - except for the one time when he did. It was nearly a week after his last visit, and was prefaced by a message actually asking if could come over.
Ex had shot back a quick [sure, why not] and waited by the entrance of his fortress. He heard Joe’s rockets before he saw them. Ex didn’t use his own elytra much, so he was coming to associate the sound of rockets with Joe.
Joe’s smile was even wider than normal. “I hope you’re feeling adventurous today, because I’ve got something to take your breath away.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
“Follow me, I’ll lead the way!”
Ex equipped his elytra and did his best to keep up with Joe, who, for all his excitement, did not fly like a man on a mission. He flew in weird lazy circles, gliding more than flying. It was because of this strange flight path that it took Ex so long to realize they were flying towards the Nether hub.
He alighted on an outcropping of netherrack and shouted, “Joe, hang on.”
Joe landed on the outcrop. “What seems to be the problem?”
“I can’t go to the Nether hub, Xisuma’ll freak out.”
“Xisuma’s AFK at the moment, he’ll never know.” He jumped off the outcrop.
“Wait!”
But it was clear that Joe did not intend on waiting. Grumbling, Ex followed him.
Being in the Nether hub was weird. No, the being there wasn’t weird - he went to the Nether hub from time to time to look for spare shulker boxes and things. It was the being there with someone else that was weird. That was definitely new.
Joe pointed at the nearest portal. “This portal here will take us to my base.”
Ex stared at him. “Uh, I can’t leave. Remember?”
“I do remember, but I think you should try.”
“I have tried. It didn’t work and it hurt.”
“It’ll be different this time.” Ex’s adamancy must have shown on his face, because Joe’s voice went soft. “Trust me on this.”
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” muttered Ex. “Fine, whatever. You go first, though.”
Joe’s face brightened. “Great!” He walked backwards into the portal and waved at Ex as he teleported away.
Ex closed his eyes and walked into the portal, muscles tensing and preparing for the pain that came from trying to go to the Overworld. Instead of pain, though, came the familiar sensation of being launched into another dimension like a bullet from its chamber. He stumbled out of the portal and sunlight shone on his face.
His eyes went wide. The entire world was hazy and red from his helmet, but it was unmistakably the Overworld.
He fell to his knees on the soft green grass. With trembling hands, he removed his helmet. His skin was damp and from the heat of the Nether. A breeze ruffled his hair, which was matted against his head, sweaty and unkempt. 
“What -” he croaked. “How -”
Joe’s smiling face came into view in front of him. “A magician never reveals his secrets.”
“No, seriously, how? This - this shouldn’t be possible.”
“Well, the server’s been experiencing some glitches, so Xisuma’s been leaving his command screens up…”
“You hacked Xisuma’s command screens?”
Joe shrugged. “There is no proof to suggest that didn’t I use his command screens for the purposes of unbanning you, but there’s also no proof to suggest that I did.”
“Except for the fact that I’m here.” Ex clutched his helmet. “If Xisuma finds out -”
“Fear not, my apprehensive friend. Check the tab list and put your anxiety to an end.”
Ex pressed the tab button on his communicator and the list of hermits popped up. Xisuma’s name was greyed out.
“As long as Xisuma is AFK, you don’t have to worry.”
“But what about everyone else? If they see me, they’ll tell him.”
Joe waved away his concern. “No one ever comes to my base except for Cleo, and she would listen to what we have to say before making any snap judgements.”
Ex got to his feet and looked around warily. “I hope you know that my life is in your hands right now.”
“I’ll guard it like it’s my own,” said Joe. “More carefully, even. I tend to die in silly ways a lot. Anyway, wanna come inside?”
It turned out that Joe’s house was not actually a house, and was, in fact, a hermitage. Ex didn’t know what that was, but Joe was happy to explain. He gave him a quick tour of the place. He seemed to take great pride in a few paintings hanging around. Although they didn’t look like anything particularly special, Ex nodded politely and said they looked nice.
“Do you want a comb or something for your hair, by the way?” Joe asked when he noticed Ex trying to fix it into some kind of style.
“Yes, please,” said Ex, a little desperately.
Joe returned with a hair brush and a bucket of water a few minutes later. “Sit down, it’ll be easier for me to brush it for you.”
Ex sat cross-legged in front of Joe, shoulders back and stiff as a board.
Joe dipped the brush in water and began working on a section of hair. “Supposedly, getting the hair wet is supposed to make it easier to brush. I don’t actually know, though, because I don’t have to brush my hair often.”
“I wouldn’t know. I couldn’t brush my hair if I wanted to.”
“Why not?”
Ex resisted the urge to throw an incredulous look over his shoulder. “Have you ever tried to stay in the Nether for an extended period of time? The air is so toxic that you’d die without a helmet. Have you ever tried to brush your hair inside a helmet?”
Joe stopped brushing. “You couldn’t breathe?”
“No, I could breathe. I had my helmet.”
Joe opened his mouth like he was going to say something, then closed it and kept brushing.
Ex had the distinct feeling that something had just happened, but he wasn’t sure what. He changed the subject. “How do you come up with poetry just off the top of your head?”
Joe shrugged. “I just let the words run through me. I am like an outlet for words to be set free, like a symphony of thoughts ready to be spilled.”
“I wish I could do that.”
“Everybody’s different. How do you write your poetry?”
“In iambic pentameter.”
“Now, see, that would be difficult for me, because I’m not used to countin’ out syllables and stuff like that. But that’s part of what makes you who you are. Poetry is a deeply personal thing, and good poetry should reflect who you are.”
Before Ex knew it, Joe was finished untangling his hair and the sun had nearly set. Ex tied his hair back into a ponytail and dallied outside the portal for as long as he could.
“I…” Ex cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Thank you. So much.”
Joe’s smile was soft. “You’re welcome.”
“I mean it,” Ex said fiercely, “more than I can say. I -” He stopped abruptly. How did one express gratitude? Through hugs? That seemed excessive. Handshakes? Far too formal.
Fortunately, Joe seemed to sense his dilemma. He reached out and clasped Ex’s right hand in his own for a moment; not quite a handshake, but more of a reassuring gesture to show understanding. Ex squeezed back, then let go.
Ex closed his eyes and put his helmet on. After hours of being in the Overworld, the red haze seemed so wrong, so unnatural.
He put one foot in the portal and looked back.
“I’ll see you tomorrow!” said Joe, smile as wide as ever.
Ex smiled and walked into the portal.
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mistiedwagonfyre · 5 years ago
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M(erry) Monday: Just Some Get to Know You Stuff...
So I got these from moonysmind so I should probably @ them... 
@moonysmind-blog
Ok, let's get this party started! 
1. Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen?
Blue if I'm writing something, black if I'm outlining a paper. But overall, black pens are my go-to just because I have more of them. I seriously need to stock up on blue pens... Also, who uses a red pen for anything other than corrections just because that's the way they've been taught? 
2. Would you prefer to live in the country or the city?
The Country. Or somewhere in the middle. I just feel like I'd be able to manage less people over more people and get to know them more personally. And, let's be honest, the country has gorgeous skies and sprawling fields and meadows. And it feels like you could take a deep breath and just absorb the atmosphere. 
3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?
Balance. It would help in everything because yours truly is a ball of clumsy fluff.
4. Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar?
Heh, I drink hot chocolate with marshmallows so...
5. What was your favourite book as a child?
Anything I could get my hands on. I. Love. Books. My favorite series as a kindergartener was the Magic Tree House tho.
6. Do you prefer baths or showers?
Depends on my mood. Baths are for when I've got tons of time to just relax  and get my mind off things and showers remind me of rain and I love them too. I take showers more often but that doesn't mean anything.
7. If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose?
This is a hard one cuz I love all things mystical and magical... 
My immediate thought was a dragon but they get killed a lot in the myths and they're almost always stuck guarding something. Then I was like, ok then. What about a phoenix? So ya, I'd be a phoenix. Don't get me wrong, I'd totally go with all the mythical creatures and just cycle through them all, just if I had to choose just one it'd be a phoenix. Maybe, since I'd technically live forever, I could meet every single mythical creature ever. That'd be pwetty cool...
8. Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books?
Paper. It's what I've grown up with. I know, classy me. Also, there is nothing quite like the smell of a new book. Just sayin'.
9. What is your favourite item of clothing?
Punny t-shirts. All I'm gonna say.
10. Do you like your name? Would you ever change it?
Yes. If I had to change it, I'd love to be Reyna or Luna. Otherwise, I'm keeping it.
11. Who is a mentor to you?
Mostly myself. I taught myself to draw, anyhow. If not me, my mom or my newest art teacher or my neighbor. 
12. Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for?
Yes and no. I want to inspire people (whether with art or my quirky personality) but don't want the pressure that popularity and fame brings. 
13. Are you a restless sleeper? 
If being a night owl counts as restless, then yes. If being a deep sleeper when I am actually asleep doesn't, then no.
14. Do you consider yourself a romantic?
Considering I like guys who are chivalrous and funny... yes?
15. Which element best represents you?
Water. I'm chill until all my suppressed emotions rush out. You can't hold back the ocean forever. And you can't prevent the inevitable: Me being weird. Just ask my sister, she thinks I'm insane (which is probably accurate). Also, I may seem shallow on the surface, but I can actually be very deep sometimes. I could go on and on about my relationship with water, but that's a tale for another time.
16. Who do you want to be closer to?
Everyone. I love strengthening relationships with people. It makes the group stronger as a whole.
17. Do you miss someone at the moment?
Always.
18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.
I'd love too, but then storyteller Mistie will appear and this list will become infinitely longer. You'll have to ask me in my questions tab if you really want to hear one. 
19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?
Can't decide which is weirder: Watermelon with taco seasoning or raw onion with mustard... Both are equally delicious in the summertime at a BBQ.
20. What can you see outside your bedroom window?
A ladder, some rocks, and a dead vole. My old room had a much better view... 
21. What are you most thankful for?
My Savior
22. Do you like spicy food?
Not particularly, no. 
23. Have you ever met someone famous?
Alex Boyé. He went to a really unsanitary restaurant before he came to our house one time and puked all over our newly waxed floors. I feel bad for him. Everyone but him knew not to eat at that runofthemill A&W on the way up. He still put on a mini concert for us tho and that was pretty considerate of him, because he did it even though he can't have felt like doing it.
24. Do you keep a diary or journal?
Yup. I've got entries from back in kindergarten, amazingly. Granted, back then I wrote in pictures.
25. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?
Pencil. I'm human, I make mistakes.
26. What is your star sign?
Well, I was a Pisces. But then they discovered that there are more stars in the sky, just like there are more fishes in the sea, and just bunched a bunch of Pisces together so now I'm Aquarius. I'm still a Pisces at heart tho.
27. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?
Crunchy. Better texture. Soggy cereal is oatmeal in my mind and if you want oatmeal, you actually make oatmeal, not let your cereal sit out for who knows how long. 
28. What would you want your legacy to be?
Legacy is a tricky thing. You've gotta know what people are gonna think of you down the line. I want mine to be simple: she wasn't afraid of who she was and what others would think of that. She was herself, and that's all that matters. I feel like that's the best legacy I could have for the future generations who will grow up in a world of trial and tribulation.
29. Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read?
ABSOLUTELY! I just finished Lodestar from Keeper of the Lost Cities. I shoulda read these books years ago but they're still fan-freaking-tastic! 
30. How do you show someone you love them?
I guess my love language is acts of service or whatever. So I'd probably serve them and do tons of sweet things for them. 
31. Do you like ice in your drinks?
No, it makes it all watery. Blegh.
32. What are you afraid of?
Lots of things. I just only realize when they come along and forget what they are afterwards. Sure, it may seem nice, but it makes the terror of coming into contact with them once more infinitely more terrorizing. But bugs are extremely horrifying. And so are arachnids.
33. What is your favourite scent?
Rain with freshly mowed grass and newly printed books at a campfire with Smores by the seashore. No one will ever be able to create this magnificent scent. 
34. Do you address older people by their first or last name?
Depends on how close we are.
35. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?
Does this mean that everything is free? Well I'm gonna stockpile food and stuff and then ship them off to 3rd world countries. I'd try to save as many lives as possible. Or I could go there in person to deliver said goods... Yup. I've decided that that's what I'm gonna do!
36. Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean?
Pools have a veil of safety but the ocean is much more beautiful and alive. Also, the smell of chlorine is gross. And the taste. Blegh.
37. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?
If it looks old and worn and dirty like it's been there a while, imma take it. Chances are whoever lost it has been long gone so I can actually take that $50 w/o feeling guilty. Otherwise I'd leave it there.
38. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?
Heh, I used to wish on airplanes, satellites, and planets because I thought they were 'special stars'.
39. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?
To be kind, even when it is inconvenient. I don't know how many times someone has held the door open for me even when it seemed much more convenient for them to just go inside where it is warm and just let me open the stupid door on my own. 
Maybe I'd teach them that even the smallest acts can have the biggest impact. One of the two. Probably both.
40. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?
Heh, you're talkin' to the girl who doesn't want her ears pierced. No way in heck am I getting a tattoo.
41. What can you hear right now?
Music and the sound of my thoughts.
42. Where do you feel the safest?
In a book.
43. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?
Darkness and fear.
44. If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose?
The one with Michelangelo, Leonardo, and all those other guys that the ninja turtles were named after.
45. What is your most used emoji?
It's not even an emoji. It is literally XD. Either that or (^^) 
46. What is your favourite season? Why?
Torn between winter (snow), spring (life coming into bloom), and fall (all the pwetty colors).
47. How would you spend your ideal day?
On a window seat during a thunderstorm either sketching or reading a book all wrapped up in a blanket. Preferably with a cat. Sipping warm apple cider or hot chocolate with marshmallows.
48. Describe yourself using one word.
Me.
49. What do you regret the most?
Not realizing certain things sooner.
50. Invent your own word. What does it mean?
Crushyblushy (adj. n.)
The general mannerisms an individual enacts around people that they like (specifically in crush and/or love situations).
syn: awkward, quirky, shy, blushy
ant: confident, flirty, aplomb, able
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maychorian · 7 years ago
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Weekly Voltron Fic Recs #41
This is two and a half days’ worth of recs. I had to make a list or it was going to be obnoxiously long. I’m slowly catching up to all my open tabs, but it’s taking some work. You may notice a lot of Lance birthday fics in this post. My writing time has also taken a bit of a hit, unfortunately. Next chapter of The Godsent Wanderer is languishing at nine hundred words. (The Adventure Zone’s finale dropping today did not help.)
Rules: You can find past weekly rec lists here, and non-list recs in my general fic rec tag. Also follow @maychorianrecs for individually tagged posts, the easier to search and reblog. This is stuff I like, and I have a huge bias toward Lance, hurt/comfort, and general fluff, in that order. Gen unless otherwise noted. Please comment on the fics if you read and enjoy them!
Who is in Control? by WildWolf25 Words: 13,995 Author’s Summary: Shiro wished more than anything that they could go back to those days, full of catching grasshoppers on sunny afternoons and rigging up elaborate Goldberg machine-style boobie traps around the house to drop water balloons on Matt’s sister. Back when the biggest conflict they faced was Shiro trying to convince Matt that they couldn’t build a life-sized, fully-functioning robot for their project in the elementary school science fair. Back when their hands were covered with grass-stains and dirt rather than blood-stains and scars. Back when both of them had two hands made out of flesh and blood, rather than metal and wires. (Matt is turned into a weapon by the Galra. When he is “captured” by Team Voltron, Shiro and Pidge help him come back to himself) My Comments: Heartwrenching but satisfying way to bring Matt into the Voltron fold. Be aware of the tags. This fic gets pretty dark at times, though it’s all viewed through memories, which gives it some distance. Wonderful to see Katie and Matt reunited, as well as Matt and Shiro. Shiro says some very important things to help Matt after all he’s been through.
Hugs and Besos by Ninja_Librarian Words: 5,504 Author’s Summary: “Well, there’s only one planet that has Varadero beach, pizza shack looking over the water and the garlic knots and… my mom’s hugs…” She didn’t believe a word the Garrison officials told her. After all, she knew her son better than they did. My Comments: Gorgeous, beautiful, perfect Lance’s mom POV. All of the backstory is so sweet and fits Lance perfectly, and I can just feel the love coming off the page. Wonderfully satisfying conclusion, too.
the best day of the year by FluffyBlue Words: 1,709 Author’s Summary: Lance forgot about his birthday, but his team certainly didn’t <3 My Comments: Aw, so sweet. Show that boy some love. What a good team.
not so little after all by victuri Words: 2,542 Author’s Summary: How to successfully create an alliance: bluff your way through a diplomatic meeting. It helps if you’re afraid. My Comments: Good gosh, I adore Lance and Allura developing a mutually benificial relationship. It took some work, but he gave her the confidence to be absolutely MAGNIFICENT here.
Birthday Surprises by A_Zap f Words: 2,948 Author’s Summary: On a certain day, each of Team Voltron finds themselves the recipient of a package. It doesn’t take them too much to figure out who’s leaving them anonymous birthday presents. Pretty much a 5+1 fic of the times members of Team Voltron are given a birthday present and the time they decided to return the favor. My Comments: Ahhh, this is so cute! I adore Lance being kind and thoughtful to his teammates and getting that love back in return. Beautiful fic.
Too Soon and Not Soon Enough by hufflepirate Words: 6,506  Author’s Summary: Remix of oldmythologies’s Lost in the Fog, which is AWESOME and should probably be read first. Shiro is gone, and none of the remaining paladins know what to do about it. When the rest of the team visits Black to talk to Shiro, Pidge listens in, but can’t bring herself to face the lion - or the place where Shiro vanished. Not until she’s ready to bring him home. My Comments: Completely fabulous alternate perspective and expansion on another amazing fic. I loved Pidge’s perspective on everything, and extended reunion scene at the end was so so so good. SO GOOD. Ahhh, it made me so happy, I can’t even tell you. 
Hold Me Close by SerenePhenix Words: 2,221 Author’s Summary: Keith was not made for the cold. My Comments: Poor Keith. Good thing he has his team to take care of him.
Day 2: Hypothermia by GemmaRose Words: 1,781 Author’s Summary: Downed in a shuttle during an ambush, Coran must survive a blizzard with only his wits, centuries-old survival training, and what meagre supplies he can scavenge from the wreck. My Comments: HURT CORAN! So rare, so precious. Great characterization, he felt very steady and strong even as he sort of accepted that he was probably going to die. Super glad he didn’t, of course. The team can’t do without him.
Rockabye by SerenePhenix Words: 2,171 Author’s Summary: Pidge has to stop the bleeding and is terrified. Coran is there every step of the way even when hundreds of miles away. My Comments: GAH, this fic is intense. Love Coran being the rock Pidge needs, even from far away, keeping calm and talking her through it even while I am positive he’s freaking out on the inside.
dead battery by babitty Words: 3,345 Author’s Summary: a drabble that popped into my head so i sat down and wrote it out real quick. I’m sure people have done this or smthn like it already but fuck it. Lance brought his phone into space. And when Pidge finds out the battery is dead, she helps him out. Bc he’s family. I wasn’t sure what to name Lance’s sister, but i think Mari works??? I honestly don’t know, i may change it even though this is just a drabble. also this is not pidgance at all, i’m rlly hopin that’s clear enough Edit- so apparently mari is canon and I’m real good at guessin names lmao My Comments: Really cute fic. I love Pidge helping Lance fight his homesickness, followed by all the team bonding as they look at the pictures on his phone. The second chapter made it worse, or maybe better. Poignant and heartachey, but sweet.
To Light The Way by A11e_B00klover Words: 13,169 Author’s Summary: When her father dies in mysterious circumstances and leaves her alone with nothing but questions, Allura sets out to find the truth, come what may. Or the time Allura decides to go Sherlock with her family-friend Coran and the five friends she makes in the process. (for the Voltron Gen Minibang 2017) My Comments: A little slow to start, but there are some great ideas and fantastic characterizations in here. Fun modern AU where the team forms a Leverage-type crew to battle corporate corruption and find the truth. I could do with more.
Nobody Learns by SassafrassRex (Serbajean) Words: 30,570 Author’s Summary: He knows there was a time, before he was at this camp. *** Wiser people than Matt knew to steer clear of stars, dreamers, and all other fantasts. *** It’s a pretty strange fate, that Matt had played supporting cast in the story of his own life. *** If they try and they win, you’ll hate them for how they leave you behind. If they try and they fail, you’ll hate yourself for having to tell them let go of their pipedreams. *** “Could mean you need some better friends” – And Shiro has got to know how punchable his face gets whenever he grins like that. *** Shiro’s got it in his head that he could be selected for the Kerberos mission. Matt wishes he would give it up now. Before he burns himself out. *** Written for the Voltron Gen Mini Bang, with the wonderful artist, dylogger!!! Also prequel to All-Pervading Corruption My Comments: This is a prequel to a previously recced fic, but it stands alone fine. This fic is STUNNING. I love the characterization for Matt and Shiro. All of the backstory makes a lot of sense, and their friendship is so strong, weathering a lot of storms along the way. With this kind of background, it not only makes sense that Shiro would sacrifice himself for Matt, but it feels inevitable. All of the “current day” stuff in the prison camp is very harsh and hard to read, though, so beware. In that context, all of their college day shenanigans gain a kind of golden edge to them. Those were the good days. They just had no idea. It was hard at the time. But Matt is strong, and he’s a survivor, and he fights. He fights so hard. Amazing fic. The art complements it perfectly.
Earth Isn’t So Far by safety_dancer Words: 1,356 Author’s Summary: “Geez, Hunk! You scared us! I come running, thinking maybe Zarkon had teleported his ugly self into the- is that a cake?” My Comments: I really love all the presents everyone gave Lance in this one. They were so thoughtful and sweet.
Gift Me the Stars and Night Sky by Not_Jazz Words: 1,299 Author’s Summary: Lance never asked for anything. He was happy to just have his family. So, his family decides to surprise him. Or: Lance’s Best Birthday Ever My Comments: Gah, this is ridiculously adorable. The story about tiny Lance made my heart hurt in the best way. What a little sweetie pie, and I’m so glad he has his space family to be with him now.
What We Least Expect by inkbadger Words: 1,712 Author’s Summary: When Lance forgets it’s his birthday, he doesn’t take it well. So he retreats to the Blue Lion. But his team aren’t about to let him celebrate his birthday alone. That’s what family’s for, right? My Comments: So sweet. Everyone cares so much.
Candlelight and Supernovas by Faequeen40 Words: 12,614 Author’s Summary: Deep in space, Lance is really missing his family as his birthday comes up. The Voltron crew go about trying to throw him a birthday party. My contribution for Lance’s Birthday Week! My Comments: I really love how long this is and how everyone got their moment to shine. All of the bonding was sweet and lovely, and everyone put so much EFFORT into making sure Lance had a good and happy day. So heartwarming.
Wild Boys by Cocopops1995 Words: 13,437 Author’s Summary: Shiro wakes up back in Galra captivity. But he’s not having any of that this time. This time he’s determined to escape or die trying. Along the way he meets up with some familiar faces, some more unexpected than others. My Comments: Really fun action fic featuring BAMF Shiro and rebel Matt, among other things. A much more enjoyable way for Shiro to get back to the team than we see in a lot of fics, haha. All of the reunions were top-notch.
Summer Days (Drifting Away) by Atalto Words: 2,630 Author’s Summary: The team take a break from Voltron to regroup and recharge for the final fight against the Galra. Pidge discovers that she doesn’t really like alien beaches, no matter how human they are. My Comments: I expected fun in the sun and got emotional hurt/comfort and cuddling. I’m not complaining at all.
Little Fingers Hold the Tightest by Utsukushin (UserFromPluto) Words: 12,817 Author’s Summary: After the final battle with Zarkon, the Voltron team begins a desperate search for Shiro, but not even Slav’s ramblings on quantum realities could have prepared them for what they find. Shiro has been turned into a child–a bright-eyed, scarred little boy with one arm and no memories–and although they try their best to accommodate the change into their already-chaotic lives, no one quite anticipated just how challenging it would be. My Comments: Ahhh, this fic is amazing and adorable. Tiny Shiro is so cute, but he’s still getting flashbacks and nightmares and needs a lot of care. All of the paladins interact with him in the sweetest ways, and the art is beautiful, too.
The Burden of Adrenaline by spitfire00 Words: 1,329 Author’s Summary: Pidge carries an injured Shiro out of a hostile situation using pure spite alone. My Comments: PIDGE! What a badass! This little fic got my own adrenaline pumping, for sure.
It’s Like a Lithium Ion by F-117 Nighthawk (F117_Nighthawk) Words: 5,314 Author’s Summary: On their way to the Balmera, Keith runs across a homesick Lance and tries to comfort him. Then he finds Pidge and accidentally gives her an idea and gets roped into helping. It’s a win-win though, because in the end he’s found a way to help Lance. My Comments: Such a sweet fic. Love everyone working together to try to communicate with Earth so the kids can have a way to relieve their homesickness, and Keith was a darling for sticking it out.
Oh, Won’t You Comfort Me? by Ironic_Swag7782 Words: 2,123 Author’s Summary: Crash landed on an icy planet, one broken kit of armour, damaged lions, Lance getting dangerously cold? Shiro could safely say this mission could have gone better. My Comments: I’m always up for Shiro and Lance huddling for warmth. They’re both trying so hard to take care of each other, even in bad circumstances.
Flirting Lessons by sinelanguage Words: 2,099 Author’s Summary: Allura consults her worst– and only– flirting expert for advice. My Comments: Super cute fic with the worst pickup lines ever and Lance being a good wingman. Somehow it all works out in the end. I love Lance and Allura’s friendship.
Lean On by SerenePhenix Words: 1,712 Author’s Summary: Allura tries to complete a mission while feeling anything but perfectly well. My Comments: Short, sweet sickfic featuring dizzy Allura, smart Lance, and protective Coran.
Magnesium Fires by MoonlitWaterSunnyRiver for Mellisah Words: 1,328 Author’s Summary: In retrospect, wandering into a haunted house with no backup had been a bad, bad idea. But it’s amazing how much time you have to consider these things hanging in midair with a poltergeist deciding whether or not to munch on you. Poltergeist: 1. Keith Kogane: 0. Things Pidge can hold against him: too many to count. My Comments: This is so fun and funny and cute. Keith is just trying so hard, but it’s a good thing Pidge is capable of saving him.,
A Leg to Stand On by Aclyr, hufflepirate Words: 26,526 Author’s Summary: Hunk has never wanted to be in charge of anything, but when he gets stranded on an unknown planet with a concussed Shiro, light-years away from where they were supposed to be and unable to contact the rest of the team, he has do it anyway. A galaxy away, the rest of the team is short on resources and shorter on personnel, but they’re not about to let Hunk and Shiro go without a fight. (Story by hufflepirate, art by Aclyr) My Comments: Everything about this fic is utterly perfect. Hunk is anxious, but a badass anyway, and concussed Shiro is like a confused baby chick who needs to be herded back to the nest several times. The frantic search the others go through to find them is very suspenseful and heartwrenching, and you can just feel the tension and stress everyone is struggling with. Great action, great characterization, great emotional moments. I love it to bits. The art is also amazing.
Day 1: Fever by GemmaRose Words: 2,141 Author’s Summary: With Shiro missing and her Paladins scrambling to find him, Allura can’t possibly justify taking a break. My Comments: Short, sweet sickfic featuring fanting Allura and protective Coran.
Have Faith. by halelujah for InsaneJuliann Words: 2,750 Author’s Summary: Four times where the Black Lion reassures the Paladins that all will be well, plus the time she’s reassured herself. My Comments: Post Season Two fic with a really sweet characterization of Black. Hunk is particularly adorable, as well.
hope of a better tomorrow - VLD fanfic remix for babitty! by volleycatnika for babitty Words: 3,190 Author’s Summary: How the five paladins missed Earth and came together to comfort each other (a 5+1 fic). My Comments: Lovely team bonding fic. 
Fics with Season Three spoilers under the cut. After this list, I will no longer be tagging spoilers, since it’s been two weeks now since the season came out.
What’s my name? by greenglowsgold Words: 3,538 Author’s Summary: No one ever knows who they’re going to be until they are. Names don’t always work forever. She doesn’t know who this is, but he isn’t Shiro. My Comments: Season Three spoilers. I love Pidge’s journey here, and this would be a clever way to deal with the Not-Shiro problem. Her stubbornness and determination in the face of everyone else’s disbelief is perfectly her.
You’re Brave and You’re Loved by Talking_Bird Words: 6,464 Author’s Summary: Shiro is gone, but the universe still needs defending. When Keith becomes the new Black Paladin, the team assumes Allura will replace Keith as the Red Paladin. It doesn’t quite go like that and Lance has some insecurities to overcome. My Comments: Season Three spoilers. I honestly liked the way the show did it, but I this version is nicer, with Lance getting some much needed encouragement and love. Mild Klance.
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i-amusemyself · 8 years ago
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All Emoji Asks.
🐰 what is one secret youve never told anyone?I don't really have that many secrets. I guess theres a side of my personality that I spend a lot of energy supressing like hell that I hate with a passion.💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?Right now? My best friend right next to me or my friend back home.🐹 what are some of your favourite pokemons and why?I mean, I only ever played pokemon go, but from that I loved the squirtles and the evees just bc theyre cute af🌠 if you were in charge of the world what would it be like?A lot more chilled out. Chill pills would be mandatory.👀 what was the most recent vivid dream you had?Okay I had two freaking weird ones the other night?In one I was a 10 y/o muslim girl going to a new primary school and while I was there I started raising money for a cancer charity.In the other I was taking a really hard A level maths exam and getting stressed and mad bc everyone kept talking and I couldnt finish it in time.☀ what do you like most about your best friend?EVERYTHING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Idk, I guess how forgiving and layed back she is. She always tries to understand and see things from your point of view.😘 talk about your crush or partnerLmao I'm alone 😂 I do have a crush but its a million miles from mutual so like, shes amazing but boi it hurts 😂💁 if someone was rude to you would you be rude back?Depends on how well I know them and what they're like tbh. I'll banter, but I avoid confrontation.🌟 what do you like about yourself? (3 things)😂😂😂 wow erm...1. I always try and put in all the energy I have if someone/something needs it2. I make loads of terrible puns its gr93. I really dont have any other qualities idk🐾 what are you scared of most? How will you overcome it?👏 I'm terrified of abandonment 👏 aaaand as of yet I have no idea how to deal with it ngl🎁 what never fails to make you happy?Really good stand up commedy or my favourite music💙 what annoys you about some people?Their complete lack of self-awareness. Idk, maybe I'm low key jealous too but srsly some people????😤 do you get angry easily?Yeah. I keep pretty good tabs on it so you probs wouldnt know it, but if something upsets me, chances are I'm hella pissed too.🐇 what do you always daydream about?Dramatic and upsetting situations or drunk situations 😂🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?1. Sort out equality and all that jazz2. Divide up the land more equally, bc it pisses me off that some people are living in tiny cramped shacks and others have 100 mile square farms.3. End capitalism and with that make all necessary services free.🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?Anon?✈ what is your dream city and why?I mean Ive always wanted to go to copenhagen but theres no guarantee its gonna be my fave. My fave so far is Amsterdam bc its so peaceful and the architecture is to die for.☕ talk about your ideal day?Spend it with my best friend/crush. Lay in bed late and be lazy and watch good TV/movies. Maybe go out in the afternoon to not go stir crazy and entertain ourselves. Stay up kinda late talking about deep shit, lying underneath the stars.🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?Ambivert!💧 when was the last time you cried?Yesterday lmao 😂 i havent gone more than 2 days without crying in the past week 😧 I just got myself into a nice Depression Episode.🎵 name 5 songs you like atm?Argh I havent listened to music in so long (7 days...) umm so things i wanna listen to- youth by daughter- voices by Motionless in white- living dead girl by rob zombie- corpse roads by keaton hensen- lost boy by troye sivan⚡ if you had any superpower what would it be and why?Mind reading bc my anxiety would be halved.💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?I'd tell myself to stop trying to fit in and be like everybody else because the people I know are just a tiny portion of the population and really aren't much to aspire to. I'd tell myself to drop all my shitty friends because it would stop me from dealing with a lot of crap later on. I'd point myself in the right direction of the better people 😂I'd teach myself how to stand up for myself and how to not take any crap.And I'd give myself a hug and tell myself it's okay not to be cishet, because maybe if I could turn back time and start to deal with it earlier I'd be okay with it now.💚 who are you jealous of and why?A lot of people really, with qualities I don't have.I suppose one kid in particular is like, everything i want to be. Kind, hillarious, confident, close to people I love. 💎 what would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? Why?Bravery or kindness?? Its hard to have one without the other. Also beauty ngl bc im fugly.🙊 what are you ashamed of?My gender and sexuality 👏🌺 which languages do you know? Which do you want to learn?I know english and spanish and I'm learning Danish. Hopefully once I'm okay at danish I can learn arabic. Ill be satisfied after that 😂☘ if you could be any fictional characters friend/lover who would it be and why?I mean, theres plenty of fictional lesbians where im like 😏👀 but honestly if I had to pick only one person I'd choose Kieren Walker from in the flesh bc he needs a friend and I relate to him so strongly.☁ talk about your dream universe.Mental and physical illness doesnt exist. People arent dicks. Everything is free. No one feels unloveable.💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?Idk I'm p much done for the day 😂 I've been helping out around the house all day tho🐬 if you could transform into any animal what would it be and why?I mean i might be biased but either a dog or a sloth bc they get to sleep all the time 😂🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike.Someone I was best friends with for 4 years suddenly turned around and stabbed me in the back, made up shit about me, arranged that all my friends not talk to me for a fortnight, sent group emails stuffed with emotional manipulation and blamed me for her suicidal thoughts. I nearly ended it. Now I get to watch my friends still loving her like she isn't the world's most heartless person. It makes my blood boil.😣 talk about something that has been making you depressed/angry/anxious.I'm staying with my best friend rn and I can't stand the thought of going home.🍪 what did you want to be as a kid and what do you want to be now?I wanted to be a nurse and now I wanna be a doctor 👏 variety 👏🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?I cant really eat sugar 😂 so fuck knows? Chocolate?🍑 what are you obsessed with?Brains, thought processes, psychopaths, graveyards and more 😂💘 what happens to you when youre stressed?I just get really emotional and start agressively making lists everywhere in an attempt to sort my life out.😪 what are you sick of?Humanity.🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?Yeah its terrible 😂 i hate anxiety but I also kinda love it when my heart races.💥 what are some unpopular opinions you have?I....dont? I cba with discourse lifes too short.☔ would you consider yourself a good person?I think anyone with good intentions is usually a good person so yeah😊 what do you do as hobbies?Sleep, binge watch netflix and blog 😂🎤 whats the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?👏👏👏 Mr Brightside 👏👏👏 what a jam 👏👏👏🐝 whats your worst trait?Being waaayyy too clingy.🌷 whats your mbti personality type and why do you think it suits you?ISFJ and yeah defo, its the defender and I feel that tbh🐶 send me 3 fictional people and ill choose my favourite.Anon?👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?Kaitlyn Alexander is my bae.Besides that I dont really....obsess over any celebrities? Eliza taylor is doing p good 😂 ummm also some youtubers? Do they count?🐴 opinion on __?Its a great bit of punctuation.🍋 do you consider yourself to be an emotional person?Lmfaoooooo YES📚 share 3 books you love and your favourite quotes from them.M8. Thats not gonna happen 😂 I love any book that makes me cry but I cannot quote a single word.😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? Does it work?Find a quiet corner, shut my eyes and listen to my Depression Playlist. It doesn't always make me feel better but it helps me ride it out.🙂 what thoughts keep you going when you're sad?The thoughts of uni and that I'll hopefully meet some great new people. Also my best friend. Just in general 😂🌎 which country do you live in?England.🐧 describe yourself in 3 words?Awkward, tall and shy.🙉 what quotes changed you?"Pick your fights" bc as much as its a meme it helps me chill outAlso "everything is temporary" and "the sun will rise and we will try again".💭 do you keep a diary?I have a personal blog which acts as a diary yeah💫 who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander!! (Listen theyre like the first nb representation I ever knew and I relate so much to everything they say and theyre so cute and talented)👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?I mean, my initial response is no. Because we're just bags of flesh made up of cells and when we die those cells die so theres nothing to live on.But tbh we know so little about the universe I'm open to the possibility of anything at this point.🎀 whats your fashion sense like?Dior. I know what clothes I like and think look good but I never like them on me.🎬 what are some of your favourite films?Deadpool, My sisters keeper, pitch perfect 2 ermm🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?UmmmmmmmmmmmmWhen I first got my bunny, that was an amazing day!!🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?Um my soulmate? Where are they at?
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demonphannie · 8 years ago
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january 2017 - dan and phil
1/12
happy new year: phil tweets seven minutes after the new year begins: HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!  and dan tweets three minutes later: here's to us pinning all our hopes and dreams for ourselves and the world on the orbit of our indifferent planet around the sun. happy 2017!
first week (1-7): phil announces he has been licked by a doggo and gotten a cold and we still didn’t know where they had gone for new years eve. then dan tweets: to everyone asking if i went to a wild new year's eve party: i spent three hours making an iron bead rapidash (what a nerd). everyone freaks out because we couldn’t tell if they spent new years eve together but dan quells this by making it seem obvious that they were together that night. so it turns out they went up north to hang out with their friends (the parents of emily the baby from that 2012 liveshow) and made crafts and hung out with a dog which is cute. phil posts a recap of his 2016 tweets which most include dan. louise tweets dan about being a furry - he responds (1+2). phil copies dan and starts #HeaderForPhil on twitter. dan made the tv have a beautiful wallpaper of the definition of antichrist. phil mentions voldemort and i couldn’t stop thinking about “i would bang voldemort” for the rest of the day. dan goes to the dentist like the filthy hoe he is and he clenches his teeth as much as his ass it seems. phil tries to take a selfie while sick. day five and phil is still suffering from illness. phil would feel better with a corgi in the house. dan is an emo fuck about christmas trees (and according to dan you have to have a family meeting to take it down? family meeting with phil? ok.) here is phil’s first fan made header and it is lovely. dan makes a wholesome meme because he thinks he’s an emo fuck and phil rt’s for the warmth of positive thinking - really this is just an excuse to post a picture phil took of him wrapped in a blanket. phil finally becomes unsick!
second week (8-14): phil is going to die update #1 - he microwaved a metal fork. he’s so dumb he could microwave his laptop smh. dan emerges out of hibernation and is ready to eat, mate, and scratch himself. “we got a lot of houseplants watch out.” phil realizes he can wink with both eyes at once. phil is going to die update #2 - dan and phil have had a gas leak in their house for god knows how long (why haven’t they died and freed us from this hell? god abandoned us). dan opened submissions for a 2016 dan memes video :// dans first liveshow of the year was very soft and forgiving (highlights: men were in the house and you can hear them and phil in the background, dan’s uploading his younows to his side channel now, dan got a haircut an hour before, he’s going to buy a new piano, phil got him an aesthetic dandle and sand art thing, dan loves collin more than life confirmed, top 2016 albums: 1. frank ocean - blonde; 2. radiohead - a moon shaped pool; 3. kanye west - the life of pablo; 4. solange - a seat at the table; 5. danny brown - atrocity exhibition, not about the fish these days, wants the dentist to hurt him). phil got a haircut (rip dan getting haircuts after phil) and sasses someone on twitter. dan feels like a superhero for not dropping any socks. phil tweets about an action figure’s butt. phil’s first liveshow of 2017! (highlights: it turns out him and dan get haircuts at their house together now that’s gross, thought the gas leak smelled like wet dog...ok, dan got phil this game called codename and a candle, new years resolution is to take care of plants, he’s feeling very creative 2008 again plz, dans mum had a dream about them being in scotland as did phil? psychic much?). phil’s first video of 2017 and phil is going to die update #3: 2017 WANTS ME DEAD. dan and phil go to see la la land. phil updates his community tab on youtube which is interesting (check it out here) and provides us with a snapchat selfie. dan uploads his first video of 2017: The Top Dan Memes of 2016. dan and phil see the cursed child and they shared snacks and giggled at everything together. also they showed each other dog videos. 
third week(15-21): the neighbors have stopped the drilling! dan broke his terrarium and life is pointless. phil brings back an old meme. dan liveshow (highlights: new wifi router, he looked over 100k submissions for his dan memes video, he was sad-tired-cry-laughing in the video dw, he has slightly curly hair but it’s hard to tell, phil doesn’t want death but it’s coming for him, got legos from lego but only kept batman watch, got custom adidas youtube jacket and sweatpants, played mia and sebastian’s theme from la la land!, going to vidcon la, beat phil’s ass at pokemon, he and phil laughed for an hour about the terrarium, gonna do some life things (with phil) and storage is on the agenda.) dan and phil post kawaii edits of their face (s-s-senpai: 1 2 3). phil liveshow! (highlights: phil made chili but got distracted and the chili set on fire and got chili all over the walls and dan was like ok, he wants to cuddle a dog, live opening of yt plaque for one million subs on lessamazingphil, dan and phil went to a bakery and couldnt say no to polar bear cakes, dans terrarium smash was the saddest smash he ever heard, he got a huge thumb statue ://). first gaming video of the year: Dan and Phil Play HAPPY WHEELS. dan breaks one of the polar bear cakes. “coffee and a cake with tv is not a sat at the table experience.” dan and phil rt cool things for the women’s march.
fourth week and the rest (22-31): dan fell down the stairs. phil only wears a towel around the house this is nice information this is fine. phil hits 4 mil on twitter before youtube???? phil expresses an opinion on the taste of coke. dan liveshow! (highlights: they’ve been block filming videos because they are going away for the weekend, he got a soft grey throw blanket which is pure and good? he loved women’s march, he taped a gopro to the pc in the office just in case he ever wanted to film a quick side channel video, said gaykery instead of bakery - rainbow cakes: the diverse bakery, loved troye’s heaven music video, talked about phangate and named phil’s wife sabrina and child lola (explanation! basically someone set up a mock exposé blog called phangate and claimed dan was seeing a lot of people and phil didn’t live with him but instead with his wife and coming child - very drama, much confusion but just turned out to be a parody and is followed up on this blog), going to vidcon anaheim but not sure about sitc or playlistlive, no liveshow next tuesday because he’s going north to celebrate phil’s birthday with pals and fam). second gaming video of the year: DAB BECOMES A TODDLER (good domestic life). phil liveshow! (highlights: literally the most wholesome liveshow in the world, didn’t get much sleep because la la land soundtrack, we have to take care of dab if dan and phil die, martyn visited that day to brainstorm merch, early morning dan broke a pint glass and it was glass dust all over the floor why is their kitchen getting so much abuse (dan cut his hand), phil wants red velvet cake for this birthday, phil’s clickbait-y and couldn’t hatch his emu egg during the liveshow because it takes time, got new houseplant, he’s been having good vibes, talks to janice (his wife from phangate but dan called her sabrina the storylines are shady), 2017 is gonna be more chill but still exciting things happening!!!). dan trapped a spider but it escaped and he is afrightened (suki the hamster pt 2)(also hobbit hair clickbait?). PHIL SIGNED HIMSELF UP FOR A GYM??????ATHEISTS EXPLAIN. fancy sushi restaurant date for phil’s bday (at this restaurant). dan gets his ass stuck in a rocket (but in the bg you can see they are at the isle of man! for phil’s birthday! god fuck! there is a bear on this island!). second phil video of the year: I PREDICT MY FUTURE (ok holy shit phil’s gonna get a dog and a house this video is wild remember when phil predicted dan? this video is legit). PHILS 30TH BIRTHDAY (cath made him a cake and dan professed his undying love for phil?). still up in the north but uploaded the third gaming video of the year: SAVE ME DADDY! - Dan and Phil play: Who's Your Daddy (really who even knows)
january was nice *insert my longest yeah boy ever*
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cambrasine · 8 years ago
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Zine Organization Guide/Tips
There’s been a huuuugee influx of friends and friendly strangers asking me about how to run a zine -- so under the cut is my spiel! 
Wait, who are you? Hey! I’m Jennie. I’ve run a couple zines and am working on a couple more. I’ve participated in hmm let’s see one two three four (more?) others, too! Okay, now for the guide.. First off, though It’s incredibly rewarding, don’t underestimate how much time running a zine takes. Most projects I’ve been a part of have run over the course of 3 - 8 months. Admin stuff takes a lot of time day-to-day too - setting up a blog, forms, spreadsheets, store, answering questions you’ve answered 1000 times, assembling, packing, etc. etc. Don’t take this the wrong way - I am a zine enthusiast but just make sure you have enough time to take this on, or team up with a friend or two to multiply the fun and share the workload! :)  ORGANIZATION If you open for applications / submissions then I suggest using google forms. That way everything is in one place and organized in a spreadsheet. Similarly, I suggest google sheets for keeping track of things. For example, we made a google sheet to share with all participants. Next to their username they can fill out things like their e-mail address, how they wanted to be listed in the artist directory, what they will be drawing (to avoid excessive repeats), etc. plus a little box to check off when they complete their piece. You can also make multiple tabs which is fun (For YoI zine we had a cover sheet (explanations of each tab, announcements), participant info, templates, FAQ, timeline, wip share, and bundle sign ups). It’s all in one place makes it easy for the organizer as well as participants to keep track of! For your own sanity MAKE A TEMPLATE for your participants to make their art on — At the correct size (including bleed if you’re printing full bleed), resolution (300 dpi+), and color profile (CYMK) for printing. SOME PEOPLE WILL STILL NOT DO IT CORRECTLY. Mentally prepare yourself LOL  > Make sure to leave room for title page/credits/thank you - whatever!  > Printing goes in multiples of four so be prepared with a back up if someone drops out and screws up your page count! > Leave cushion room around your deadlines. Build in a week after your deadline for people who need extensions because people ALWAYS need extensions! > Making a WIP/check in deadline was really helpful I think > It’s a nice thing to do to offer participants a copy as long as you can afford it. Otherwise there’s not much motivation to participate;; If it’s for profit, give them a cut. DISTRIBUTION DIGITAL As far as distribution, gumroad is a classic for digital downloads, plus they have this nifty ‘pay what you want’ option. They do take some fees though, less if you pay $10 for a month but you have to balance an equation to see if it’s worth it. Since we didn’t know when to set the release date for, we skipped this and will just be emailing the file ourselves, but I have used gumroad in the past. PHYSICAL > I would try out bigcartel - it’s totally free to have 5 items or less. Haven’t tried it myself. > Storenvy is probably best option after that. There’s a 10% fee for purchases made through the marketplace, but you can turn it off and just sell from your custom storefront.  They introduced ‘’'Storenvy fees’'’ where they charge customer an extra fee now (usually .99 I think) which they withdraw from your accounts afterward > Etsy is fine, there’s the .20 listing fee but it’s not very customizable visually... I just don’t love it, ok? lmfao You can give it a go > Tictail is OK (can’t turn off marketplace / 10% fee from marketplace orders, doesn’t integrate with shipping easy easily, can’t make different item groups for shipping, etc.) PRINTING If you’ll be printing, check with local printers. Get quotes. GET A LOT OF QUOTES. Some people will not respond at all. Some will be crazy and not understand how to price books/booklets and try to price you for 1000 prints instead. You just have to look around.  Side note: Hard copy proofs are great! If it’s your first time assembling a zine, I’d highly recommend you get one. Some recommended printers: 
Smart Press US based. Love them!! Good quality, good customer service, usually one of the less expensive options. Solid A grade :) RA Comics Direct/Nations Print California based. Haven’t used them myself, but heard very good things. They'll mail ya a free paper sample booklet if you ask! Pixartprinting Based in Italy. Usually the cheapest option, print quality is good, but not /amazing/ No hard copy proofs.  Catprint NY Based. They only do saddle stitch binding, and I’ve never used them for books but their print quality was great. You can get a paper sample booklet from them too, and they have so many freaking paper options.  PrintNinja China Based. Everyone and their mother seems to love their quality. They have high minimums and very little flexibility on them (250, 500, 750, etc.) but they also have lots of cool options like foil, embossing, debossing, etc. if you’ve got the cashflow. SHIPPING (from US) USPS is pretty much always the cheapest option. Once you know the weight, you can easily calculate on the site how much it will cost to ship. For reference, a 20 page book I made weighed about 5 oz, a 60 page one weighed about 7 oz. Bubble mailers are your best friend! I like the poly ones vs the paper ones bc they’re waterproof. I like these ones a lot, the adhesive is strong!! For shipping the 20 page one, I included a piece of cardboard for rigidity. For the 60 page one, it wasn't necessary and only /one/ out of the 400+ shipped was damaged. The easiest to way to ship through USPS though is to use a service like ShippingEasy. You can do buy postage for 50 packages each month on their free plan but if you ship more than that and want to use them, you'll have to pay $x a month. With ShippingEasy you import your orders, can choose your standard shipping settings, etc. and buy postage online. That way you can do it any time of day, don't have to hand write labels, etc. I also bought these labels so that you just peel and stick them on the package - no tape necessary! If you use Etsy or Storenvy, you can set it up to automatically receive your orders. If you use Tictail, you're going to have to export them to a spreadsheet, then import them - which is a pain and is only available on paid ShippingEasy plans. There's a free month trial tho if you time it right! Also with USPS - if you can safely leave packages outside - you can schedule a pick up online and they'll come pick your packages up at your house! No lugging heavy boxes to the post office! END NOTES Every project is different. You’re bound to hit a few bumps in the road but hopefully the above will help keep those to a minimum!  It’s hard work, but it feels amazing once you have the book in your hands! I’ve met lots of my amazing artist peers this way. It’s great for making connections and even a few friendships! If you have any specific questions please feel free to ask!! Good luck with everything!! <3
OTHER GUIDES: By the lovely Jeanne who co-organized the ML fashion zine and Menons la Danse with me Another and another by artists I admire By May, who ran the Ladybug Charity Zine 
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5hfanfiction · 8 years ago
Text
Say You Won't Let Go - Chapter 2
Camila was loving her time in Texas with Ally. Her family has treated Camila like one of their own. They even went as far as getting a couple Christmas gifts for the younger Latina girl, so she wouldn’t be left out when everyone was opening presents. Camila felt loved and safe around them. A safety she hasn’t felt in a while.
It also helps that she’s been talking to Lauren Jauregui from time to time. Lauren has been so nice, and sweet. Incredibly supportive about the channel. On top of all that, she’s hilarious. Every time they speak Camila has a lasting smile.
It was the day before New Years Eve, Camila and Ally were getting ready to go to the movies. Camila’s mind kept wandering to Lauren. When Lauren first wrote to her on twitter she freaked out. She couldn’t help but to tell Lauren over and over how amazing she was. Her phone started buzzing, and her smile grew.
Lauren: When do I get to see that beautiful face? 😏
KC: lol what makes u think im beautiful?
Lauren: well we’ve been DMing for about 2 weeks, & I conclude that even if ur not physically what the world would deem as beautiful, ur personality shines brighter than anything. Ur so funny, and crazy nice. Ur passion for music is undeniable. Thats beautiful. Thats u.
KC: Ur very charming Lauren. im not sure if that’s a good thing 🤔
Lauren: Its good, trust me. Not everyone gets this side of me. Lol
Lauren: Don’t u think u gotta show ur face eventually?
KC: Maybe, idk 🤷🏻‍♀️
Lauren: What are u going to do?
KC: What do u mean?
Lauren: Like with ur voice? Do u want to be bigger than “youtube star?”
KC: I haven’t thought about it. I never thought I’d be good enough for being anything else really. I never even thought I’d have more than 100 followers if im being honest.
Lauren: lol u really thought that? ur crazy gifted.
KC: I cant with ur compliments.
Lauren: telling the truth darling. ur voice is amazing, I’m sure u r beautiful. Ur chill af, with occasional fan girling, ur modest, ur a dork, ur sweet. Ur what this industry needs. Ur what girls will look up to, & boys would want to bring home to meet mom. The whole package.
KC: ahhh ur killing me. Seriously ur words are unbelievable. All this coming from YOU.
KC: Ur so beautiful.
KC: Not ur looks
KC: I mean, yes ur beautiful like that
KC: Why am I so awkward…
Lauren: lol Relax chicken, breathe.
KC: I mean, ur mind. ur words are kind, and inspiring.
Lauren: lol I’m just being honest dork
KC: atleast I’m a cute talented dork 😄
Lauren: Eh, ur ok
KC: lmao sure jan. do the words “unreasonably obsessed” sound familiar?
Lauren: doesn’t ring a bell
KC: Oh really? K. I guess I’ll be leaving! It was nice talking to u.
Lauren: Wait wait, no no. Don’t go. I’m joking
KC: New phone 📱 who dis?
Lauren: Lmao ur an idiot.
KC: 👋🏻
Lauren: Fine if that’s what u want KC. It was nice talking u. Just wanted to let u know I actually think ur talented. I hope u get everything u want in this world.
KC: Seriously, all jokes aside. Thank u, so much Lauren. It means alot. I’m happy I fan girl less when you hmu. Sometimes I’m like “DID LAUREN JUST SLIDE IN MY DMS?” Cus like You’re YOU, & I’m just me. And You telling me I have a nice voice, it’s like AHHHHH
Lauren: You’re not JUST you…you’re amazing.
KC: Uhhh 🙈 Thank you Laur, but I gotta go, going to the movies.
Lauren: Ok KC, hmu later? I enjoy talking to you. :D have a good night.
KC: Potassium
Lauren: what are u talking about?
KC: Potassium. What’s the periodic symbol?
Lauren: K? ….. OH! Wow, u are really a dork. Wow. Bye now. lol 😂
—————————-
It was around 11pm when Ally and Camila left the movie theater. Ally was hungry and Camila never turned down food, so they decided to stop at the Waffle house. They were browsing the menu when Camila got a twitter notification.
@LaurenJauregui: Yooo @KC_LoveOnly where’s that new cover thooo?
She smiled reading the tweet. She had been done with the video days ago, but she was nervous about uploading it knowing that a specific green eyed pop star would watch it. On top of that she decided to cover one of The Holy Trinity’s songs.
@KC_LoveOnly: Girl, when I know that ur a part of my audience, I GOT to make sure its peeeerrrfffecctt!! @LaurenJauregui
“Ally Brooke? Is that you!?!” Camila heard someone behind her say. Ally squealed hopping up from her seat. When Camila turned around her mouth hit the ground. She saw Ally hugging none other than 1/3 of The Holy Trinity, Normani Kordei.
Ally and Normani were best friends before Normani moved to Miami. They talked for a couple months before losing touch.
“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be taking over the world with your voice?” Ally asked excitedly.
Normani laughed, “Well we finally got a break for the holidays, my family came here.”
“Are you eating here alone?” Ally asked noticing no one was with Normani.
“I was going to get some food and head home” she replied.
“No! Come sit with us!” Normani looked towards Ally’s table, eyeing Camila.
“Is she going to be okay?” she asked Ally, noticing Camila was stunned and still had her mouth open.
“Oh, that’s my best friend. I guess she might be a little star struck.” Ally snapped her fingers in front of Camila, who shook herself out of the shock she was in.
Normani laughed while sitting down next to Ally. Camila thought Normani’s smile could kill her.
“I’m Normani,” she reached her hand out to shake Camila’s.
“Y-yeah, I know. I mean, how can I not? You’re you!” Camila rambled. “I’m Camila Cabello.” She said shaking Normani’s hand.
“You’re cute Camila. Relax though, I’m not going to bite.” Camila ducked her head down shyly. “You’re lucky you’re not meeting my bandmates, they can be a little…rowdy. They might bite.” Normani joked, trying to put Camila at ease.
Normani and Ally caught up for a bit while they ate. Normani made sure to include Camila into the conversation, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable. Camila was surprised to see how down to earth Normani was.
“Hey, you girls should come over my house for a little. We can continue to catch up!” Normani suggested.
“That would be so much fun!” Ally exclaimed.
“Are you sure it’s okay if I come? I don’t want to intrude on your friendship reconnection. I can just go back to Ally’s,” Camila said timidly.
“Seriously? Talking to Ally and you has made me feel so…normal. I could use some normality. So yes, I’m inviting you to my house. We will talk, watch a movie, just hangout. Pleasssse come!” Normani begged Camila.
“Okay, okay!”
——————————–
When the girls got to Normani’s house she gave them a quick tour. Ally got to see Normani’s parents after years. She was happy that they still recognized her, and they were glad she was doing well.
They reached Normani’s room, and Camila launched herself onto the king-sized bed.
“This is sooooo comfy,” she said while rolling around. “Adopt me Normani.”
Ally and Normani laughed. Ally pushed Camila over to the other side of bed, and made herself comfortable. Normani turned on the TV, and started browsing Netflix sitting between the two girls.
“So how did you two meet?” she asked the girls, focusing on finding something to watch.
“College—Friends!” Camila shouted. “Please put on Friends. I love it.”
Normani chuckled at her and put on a random episode.
“As she was saying,” Ally continued, “We met in college.”
“Cool, so we are all the same age?” Normani said unsure.
“No, she’s almost two years younger than us. I didn’t want to live on campus and my past roommates were all crazy. I couldn’t afford living on my own, Camila had an ad looking for a roommate. I thought it was a good idea to get to know a roommate before having to live with them.” Ally explained.
“She fell in love with my dorky charm,” Camila said still focused on the TV.
“It’s true,” Ally joked, “Unfortunately.”
“Unfortunately?!” Camila threw her hands up, “Without my nerdy clumsiness, we would’ve never been roommates! I wouldn’t have the world’s best friend. I’d be stuck with Shawn. I love him, but he’s NOT you! I wouldn’t be sitting here enjoying Friends.” She exclaimed.
“You’d still be watching Friends somewhere. Relax. I love you, I’m glad we met.” Ally reassured her.
“Hmmph,” Camila folded her arms turning back to the TV.
Normani laughed at the two girls. “You go to Miami University and you didn’t come to see me?”
“Girl, you were touring by that time,” Ally responded. “How did all that happen by the way? The Holy freaking Trinity!”
Normani chuckled, “Ahhhh, where do I start?”
“Well, I know how you all met. We heard your recent interview,” Ally said.
“Oh, keeping tabs on me?” Normani joked.
At the sound of the interview Camila’s head shot up. She didn’t want Ally to tell Normani about KC. She thought it might be odd, and look bad. They mentioned her in an interview, then she somehow manages to bump into one of them.
“Sorry but no. Actually, Mila—”
“I just stumbled on it, and showed her.” Camila cut Ally off, giving her a pleading look. Ally nodded in understanding.
“It’s cool, happy to be in the company of a fan,” Normani winked at Camila. “Well, I don’t know what to add to that. After meeting Demi, the next day she introduced us to Simon Cowell. He was concerned that we were too young. Me and Lauren were 16, and Dinah freaking 15.”
“Was he mean like on TV?” Camila asked.
“Opposite, he so sweet. We are signed to his label now, throughout the whole process he was so helpful. I mean we were just teenagers trying to chase our dream.” Normani said. “Before signing a contract there was a lot of back and forward with our parents, because of school.”
“That’s awesome!” Camila said.
“Yeah!” She paused thinking fondly of the memories. “It took a lot to get where we are, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
“That’s really cool, I’m so happy for you.” Ally said, hugging her old friend.
“Thank you, Ally.” Normani smiled into the hug.
After the embrace, the girls continued talking. Normani was elated to reconnect with Ally, but she was happier to get to know Camila. She thought the younger girl was adorable and dorky. Camila reminded Normani of Dinah.
The talking died down after about an hour, and the girls watched Friends. It took Ally about 2 episodes before she fell asleep.
“We should probably get going,” Camila said pointing out a sleeping Ally.
“Don’t be silly, stay the night,” Normani said sleepily. “I’ll get you some clothes to sleep in.”
She rubbed her eyes getting off the bed and rummaged through her draws. She pulled out a muscle tank top, and white shorts, handing them to Camila.
“Thank you, Normani. For everything, for letting a stranger stay here—”
“Stop, it’s all okay.” Normani cut her off, as she placed a reassuring hand on Camila’s shoulder. “You’re chill. A little quirky, but cool. It’s nice hanging out with people who aren’t trying to use me.”
“Thank you,” Camila replied giving her a hug.
When she let go of Normani she went to get changed in the bathroom. By the time she got out, Normani was already sleeping.
Camila shut the TV off and got comfortable in bed. She kept plenty of space between herself and Normani, not wanting to wake the older girl up while she used her phone.
She was on tumblr for about an hour, before she put on her headphones and decided to watch her video one more time before uploading it.
In the middle of her video, she got a text from Kellz. They’ve been talking every day since they exchanged numbers. He’s a nice guy. A bit insane, but she loved how care free he lived.
Kellz🎸: I think I just broke my face dude
Milz🎶: What do you mean?
Kellz🎸: I was just drunk fucking around. Running on cars. Fell smashed my face into the ground.
Milz🎶: Oh what different lives we live.
Kellz🎸: Lmao truu. So I’m playing a show in Miami in a couple weeks, u coming right? U get to see how I live first hand.
Milz🎶: For sure, just don’t let me break my face.
Kellz🎸: No promises Milz.
Milz🎶: Oh godddd
Kellz🎸: Turns out, my face isn’t the only thing I broke. Broke my arm to lol
Milz🎶: I’m rethinking this friendship, I think I’m going to get hurt just by being friends with you
Milz🎶: I’m rethinking this friendship, I think I’m going to get hurt just by being friends with you.
Kellz🎸: Nahhhh, u can’t leave me. We haven’t recorded a song yet!
Milz🎶: I thought we were merely writing a song? Now we are recording one?
Kellz🎸: Hell yeah! I can’t wait to chill with u! Explore that creative cool brain of urs.
Milz🎶: I’m not so sure about cool? Lol
Kellz🎸: Bro, just by the things you say when we text, I can tell ur crazy creative. That’s cool as fuck.
Camila felt the bed vibrating followed by an obnoxiously loud ring. After a couple of rings, she felt Normani shuffle around the bed.
“Girl don’t give me a reason to hate you, pick up that damn phone,” Normani grumbled.
Camila held back a laugh, “It’s not mine, grumpy.”
Normani huffed feeling around the bed for her phone. When she found it, she answered annoyed “You better be dying, there is no other reason to be calling at this ungodly hour!” Her toned soften after a moment. “Of course, babe. Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, pausing allowing the other person to talk. “Okay, you know where the spare key is. I love you.” She hung up, and looked at Camila.
“I’m sorry for being grouchy, I don’t like to be woken up. But why are you still awake? Is everything okay?” She said, concerned laced in her voice.
Camila pinched her cheeks, “Care about me already?!” she joked. “I just couldn’t sleep.” Camila yawned, “But I guess I’m getting tired now. Everything okay with your phone call?”
Normani nodded, “Yeah, my best friend is coming in a couple hours. I’m going to head back to sleep until she gets here.” She snuggled up to Ally. “Get some sleep Mila, goodnight.”
“Night Normani.”
Camila posted her video before turning off her phone. She got comfortable and headed to sleep. She was excited to meet one of Normani’s friends, hopefully they were just as chill.
———————————
Lauren was loving every minute of being home. She didn’t realize how much she missed her family. She missed her mother’s forehead kisses, and her father’s bear hugs. She missed hanging out with her siblings, Taylor and Chris. She was happy to see everyone’s faces when they opened Christmas presents from her.
She was more than happy to be talking to KC every so often. She thought the girl was talented, and after talking she liked her dorky personality. She hoped to see her face, but KC won’t let up.
It’s the day before New Year’s Eve, and she was schedule to make a club appearance. She was rummaging through her closet looking for something to wear for tonight when her sister came in and jumped on her bed. “So, what are your plans for tonight?”
“I’m kind of hosting this party at some club. Luckily, it’s not a singing job, just a partying one.” Lauren said, doing a little dance.
“Just don’t party too hard, you know dad doesn’t like your ‘Bad Girl” image. It certainly doesn’t help when you’re actually out there partying.“
Lauren and her dad have had their fair share of arguments about her bad girl tendencies. She’s never been one for rules, even when she was younger. When she went to California for the spring break where she met Dinah, her dad said no but she left anyways. She was grounded until that summer. "Dad will get over it like he always does.” She told Taylor.
Lauren pulled out her phone to listen to KC while she got ready to go. She was bummed when she noticed that KC hasn’t posted a new video since The Holy Trinity interview. Lauren hoped that didn’t scare her away.
@LaurenJauregui: Yooo @KC_LoveOnly where’s that new cover thooo?
Lauren smiled at her phone before locking it and tossing it on her bed. She continued looking through her clothes before picking out a cute black velvet dress.
After she showered, did her makeup, and got into her dress she took a picture for twitter. She was about to post when she got a tweet from K.C
@KC_LoveOnly: Girl, when I know that ur a part of my audience, I GOT to make sure its peeeerrrfffecctt!! @LaurenJauregui
Lauren laughed, and continued to posted her picture.
@LaurenJauregui: We outttttt tonight! 🎉
————————————
It was about 3:30 in the morning and Lauren was stumbling home. While at the club she ran into her old friend Vero. They danced all night and drank way too much.
They made a trip to the bathroom where Vero gave Lauren some coke. It wasn’t her first time doing it, within minutes she was dangerously high.
“Shhhit” Lauren cursed, trying to unlock her front door. She didn’t understand why she had so many keys, but most of all she couldn’t figure out which one opened her door.
“Ahhhhhh, that’s the one!” she said, tip toeing into her living room.
She whispered, “Honey! I’m home,” as she stumbled into an end table knocking over a lamp.
“Shhhhhh! You’re going to wake up papa, you stupid lamp!” she whispered shouted at it, while giggling. She heard someone clear their throat. When she turned around she was met with her fathers disappointed look. “Too late,” she laughed.
“Lauren, if you’re going to come home drunk at 3 in the morning can you at least keep it down. What kind of influence do you think this behavior is on your sister?”
Lauren immediately got angry. She thought she was a great influence on Taylor. She followed her dreams, and became an accomplished artist. Everything she does is for her family.
“I’m a suspectful..susss..successful influence on her.” She stated drunkenly, while her dad looked at her unimpressed, adding to her anger. She tossed her purse onto the sofa, and ran her fingers through her hair.
“Dad whatdoya w-want from me? I’m in what is probably the biggest girl group of this time!” she grinned widely, pleased with her career. “Everyone should be proud and inspired by me” she slurred.
“How can I be proud when I have to sit back and see pictures of my little girl stumbling out of clubs? I just want you to be careful. I don’t want you to do anything stupid Lauren.” Her dad sighed.
“I just go out to blow off steam—”
He cut her off, “What steam? You’re in the biggest girl group!” he mocked.
“Whatever dad. Just let me sssleep this off. Pleasee, yell at me later. You give me a headache” she groaned, rubbing her temples.
He sighed in defeat. “Fine, but here…don’t forget your things.” He picked up her bag to hand it to her. “Listen Mija, I love you and please know I’m proud of –” He stopped when he noticed some things spilling out of the purse. Lauren eyes grew wide when I saw the little baggy of white powder drop in front of his feet.
“Lauren, are you fucking kidding me? You’re stupid enough to bring drugs into my house? Around your siblings?” She looked down, not baring to see the disappointment in his eyes. “You know what! Get the hell out!”
She looked at him shocked, “What do you mean? Where am I supposed to go? It’s practically New Years Eve!”
“I don’t care where you go, but you’re not fucking staying here. I’m not dealing with your bullshit.” He spat. He reached down and grabbed the baggy before walking to the kitchen. “Go with the person who gave you this for all I fucking care.”
Lauren turned around not really knowing what do, she punched the wall until her hand was swollen. She took out her phone about to call the only person she can think of when her brother came downstairs.
“What’s going on Lauren?” Chris asked sleepily rubbing his eyes. She didn’t say anything but bury her face into his chest, as he wrapped his arms around her.
He never seen her this upset before, he didn’t know what to do but he knew not to press the issue.
“Can you take me to the airport?” she mumbled into him. He nodded, releasing her and headed up the stairs to grab his keys. Lauren brought the phone to her ear praying that it doesn’t go to voicemail.
“You better be dying, there is no other reason to be calling at this ungodly hour.”
“Is that offer to go to Texas still available?” Lauren sniffled.
“Of course, babe. Do you want to talk about it?” Normani asked.
“Not really.”
—————————-
Lauren was sitting at the airport, she luckily didn’t have to deal with paparazzi being that it was late. She did have to wait for her plane to be ready, due to the late notice. She sobered up as best to her abilities, which meant puking her guts out in the airport bathroom, and drinking water.
She scrolled through tumblr trying to push the thoughts of her argument with her dad out of her mind. She quickly forgot about everything when she got a notification that KC uploaded a new video. She clicked to watch the video:
“Hey pumkins! As promised I’m here to answer a few questions. I took the liberty to write down them down, as well as the answer. Hope you like!” KC said.
She had written down the questions on notecards with the answers on the back, and held them to the camera.
1. What do you look like?
She turned the card over and showed a horrible drawing of a girl stick figure. The answer read, “I look like a person. I have hair, eyes, a mouth, nose. The whole shebang.”
2. Where are you from?
“I grew up in Florida. I’m just around here and there ;)”
3. What inspires you?
“People. Love. Art itself.”
4. Who are some of your favorite musicians?
“I think Ed Sheeran is fantastic. And Taylor Swift influences me to write.”
5. What do you do?
“Well, this. I post videos, but I guess if you’re asking besides this…I go to college.”
“Okay,” she spoke, “I think that’s enough questions. I must keep some mystery to me. It’s a part of my charm, don’t you think?” She joked. “As many of you know a very talented girl group said they liked my channel. One girl specifically, so this next cover is for her.”
She started strumming.
I don’t admit it, I play it cool
But every minute, that I’m with you
I feel the fever, and I won’t lie
I break a sweat.
My body’s telling,
All the secrets I ain’t told you yet.
I struggle to contain,
The love that’s in my veins,
And how it circulates.
If you could take my pulse right now,
It would feel just like a sledgehammer.
If you could feel my heart beat now,
It would hit you like a sledgehammer.
You’re taken over the beat of my body.
You just don’t let up, don’t let up.
You’re taken over the beat of my body.
But you lift me up, lift me up.
If you take my pulse right now,
It would feel just like a sledgehammer.
So close together, so far apart.
You’re turning me on,
And my fires waiting for your spark.
I struggle to contain,
The love that’s in my veins,
And how it circulates.
If you could take my pulse right now,
It would feel just like a sledgehammer.
If you could feel my heart beat now,
It would hit you like a sledgehammer.
You’re taken over the beat of my body.
You just don’t let up, don’t let up.
You’re taken over the beat of my body.
But you lift me up, lift me up.
If you take my pulse right now,
It would feel just like a sledgehammer.
The truth is out, no stopping now.
I’m getting closer.
I’ve had enough, undress my love.
I’m coming over.
If you could take my pulse right now,
It would feel just like a sledgehammer.
Ooooh
If you take my pulse right now,
It would feel like a sledgehammer.
Hammer, Hammerrrr
If you take my puuuulse
If you could take my pulse right now,
It would feel just like a sledgehammer.
If you could feel my heart beat now,
It would hit you like a sledgehammer.
You’re taken over the beat of my body.
You just don’t let up, don’t let up.
You’re taken over the beat of my body.
But you lift me up, lift me up.
If you take my pulse right now,
It would feel just like a sledgehammer.
She finished strumming, “Well I hope you enjoyed it. Remember, love only.”
Lauren heard a voice clear their throat behind her, “Excuse me, Miss Jauregui the plane is ready.”
“Thank you,” she replied getting up from her seat. She went outside towards the plane, and tweeting something before getting on.
@LaurenJauregui: Listen to @KC_LoveOnly ’s new cover. I’m in love! 😍  I think you’ll like the song choice. She’s amazing, follow her!!
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nightrainlily · 7 years ago
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DAY FOUR: THE GREAT BRITISH BAKING SHOW
I’m writing this post from the land of The Great British Baking Show, and that’s all I can think about since landing in the UK.
but first, let’s backtrack to this morning: we woke up to some blustery wind, but Joelle and I ran anyway to Lerhamn and back (any further and my calves might have split open). after packing up, and while running, I felt the hurt that comes with leaving a place you love, but it was entirely different—it’s the second time, and each time might be my last.
of course I plan to come back to Sweden. but if I don’t make it back for many years, everything, from the people to the landscape to the feeling of the town, might be entirely different. something small: they might convert the loft house where I’ve stayed into an office. something big: Amalia and Erik might move away to other cities or countries. everything about this place which I hold so dearly, and which I was so pleased to find unaltered, is subject to change.
since we’ve been here, I’ve reread my last few posts from my Sweden blog. saying goodbye to my host-family was about as emotional as last time; I kissed Fellini and hugged everyone else with a promise to see them soon. I hope to follow through, and hope to return to Sweden before the changes mentioned above, or ones like them, inevitably occur.
after going through no less than four passport checks, we collapsed into our seats and prepared for the short trip to London. the captain somberly informed us we were delayed an hour due to tarmac traffic. about five minutes later, that time changed to just a quarter of an hour. we’ve unfortunately had bad luck with our flights, but not too bad; both times we’ve heard worse news (possibly no flight, delayed an hour) and come out with slightly better news (flight twenty four hours later, delayed fifteen minutes). I’m grateful every time we touch down in a new city because we almost didn’t make it there at all.
on the flight, I listened to some real bops. I’d like to say some words about a few of them, previously mentioned in my daily playlists, because they’re just so freaking good. here we go:
1. The Body Is a Blade - Japanese Breakfast. I love this whole record, and this song is a more recent favorite off it. the hook goes: “the body is a blade that cuts a path from day to day.” isn’t that just beautiful?
2. Girl - Beck. I love new Beck (Seventh Heaven made my top fives songs of 2017), but I also love old Beck. New Pollution, Debra, Where It’s At are all songs I find myself craving on a regular basis. I rediscovered Girl while searching for a song to round out a playlist with Christine and the Queens, HAIM, and Vampire Weekend. remarkably, it fits like a glove.
3. Nobody - Mitski. I knew this song was gold when I heard it, but my taste was validated by a podcast I’ve been enjoying recently, Wonderful. the two hosts are married, and the show is centered around stuff that they like or enjoy. just, like, nice things. it’s so refreshing and positive and cute and sometimes I hear about great things that I also like. Mitski’s sound is evolving, and I think I like it.
4. I Know - Fiona Apple. another Wonderful recommendation! although I was already a Fiona Apple fan, I’d neglected her ballads, and I’m so glad I took the dive into her discography and discovered this sweet song. it feels like love.
5. Águas de Março - Antônio Carlos Jobim and Elis Regina. the real reason I added this segment is because I wanted to talk about this song. it was recommended to me by a friend who plays jazz guitar and listens to a pretty eclectic range of music, and as soon as I heard it I played it again. and again. every time I hear it I get happy. it never fails to put me in a good mood, and I never fail to smile at the moment in the last chorus when she laughs as she’s singing. it’s such pure joy. all I can do is recommend it to you and beg you to get your Brazilian groove on.
now, back to the real content you’ve all been skimming for: The Great British Baking Show.
although it will always be GBBS to me, in the UK it’s really called the Great British Bake Off, for reasons unknown to me and every other diehard binger of the four seasons available on netflix. the show has been on the BBC, and now channel 4, since 2010, but we’re going to pretend that it simply ceased to exist when it tragically left the BBC. the series begins with twelve bakers, with one elimination each week, until there are just three bakers left to compete for the final. along with a single elimination, each episode one baker is also awarded the coveted “star baker” title. each of the episodes, whose themes range from chocolate to cake to pastry, takes place over the weekend, in three parts: the signature challenge, the technical, and the showstopper. for the signature and showstopper, bakers are encouraged to practice their recipes throughout the week, but the for the technical, they’re presented only with ingredients and a vague recipe written by one of the judges, usually for something obscure. the technical is the only blind judging; the other two challenges are presented by the bakers individually whereas the technical is based on ability to meet the requirements of the dish alone. each of the challenges is tightly timed and harshly judged by the professional palates of Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood, then comically enjoyed by Mel and Sue, the charming hosts.
I’ve thus far neglected to mention the most delightful aspect of the whole show: it’s filmed in a huge white tent in a park. I repeat: in a tent. in a park. whereas shows like chopped or iron chef are filmed in dark, concrete warehouses and are very stressful to watch, GBBS is fun and light and distinctly British. when something goes wrong, they say “crikey! that’s bullocks” and move the heck on. the contestants are supportive of one another and become friends. sometimes, they even help each other out in the tent. if you’ve never seen GBBS, please do yourself a favor and watch it. you’ll feel like a new person. and if my praises of the show don’t at least pique your interest, you don’t have a soul and you can stick with Hell’s Kitchen or Cupcake Wars, you heathen.
I’m delighted to be in the country that produced such wonderful entertainment. I think maybe I’ll watch an episode now.
cheerio,
amaya
1. Space Cowboy - Kacey Musgraves
2. Loves Me Like a Rock - Paul Simon
3. Running Up That Hill - Kate Bush
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